#incase somebody needs to hear it

[the-brain-person]

"What if he doesn't like me anymore :("

Girlie he's loading give him a minute 👋😞👋

Like it takes a hot min 🤏😗

So don't be nervous :)

#incase somebody needs to hear it #not a targeted post for once #random #your so needs to buffer just wait #worst comes to worst just hug #and then theyll usually reboot

[areislol]

men i trust

ft— various male genshin x gn! reader

warning — mutual pining (?), smitten men, fluff, modern! au, mentions of sex (it's a party/club), mentions of drugging/spiking drinks, mentions of a junkie

a/n— they're the men you can trust fr, another shitpost of mine....

wordcount. 1.9k

synopsis. an alternative title, them holding your drink at a party.

In the midst of pulsating music and vibrant laughter and chatter at a lively party, you along with a friend you've bought stood next to one another near a couch, dancing to the beat with just a little effort.

The thumping bass and flickering lights seemed to swirl around them as they engaged in a conversation, after a couple of minutes you turned to him with a soft smile.

"Hey, do you mind holding my cup for a moment? I need to go to the bathroom!" you yelled over the loud music and chatter, pointing at your cup to indicate something to him just incase he didn't hear you.

He gave you a swift nod in response, "sure, take your time," he replied, extending his hands to accept the cup. You left him momentarily, weaving through the vibrant crowd toward the bathroom.

He stood by the couch, holding your cup as he eyed his surrounding, silently judging the swirl of people around him that were fucking on the couches.

the overly cautious/chivalrous pal, the type to grip onto that cup like his life depends on it. he will shoot glares to whoever's way if he needs to he is NOT messing around.

he takes the responsibility seriously and might even accompany you to the bathroom to ensure a safe return but since you insisted on going alone, he (reluctantly) let you go alone.

his palm is covering the top of your cup (don't worry he washed his hands) as he watches the people in his area like a guard dog, he won't even hesitate to threaten and fight whoever asks to take YOUR cup with absolutely NO shame whatsoever.

but his aura and built itself scares off people (which is why nobody disturbed the both of you) so he doesn't really have anything to worry about but even so, it won't hurt to be cautious.

he watches the people like a HAWK, it's scary actually. to see someone already (somewhat) intimating watching their every move, it ruined their vibe. but if ruining the vibe to make sure no creep does anything to him and your drink then so be it, not like them scurrying away will affect him in any way.

he treats your cup like it's precious jewel, so what if you could go get another if he accidentally dropped it? (he didn't, somebody bumped into him CURSE THEM which resulted into him dropping it by how big the impact was) so what if it was just a cup? it's YOUR FIRST cup!!!

oh did i mention how they won't hesitate to threaten and or fight somebody? oh well they would if they have to, not that they WANT to but the thought of a free man roaming around and spiking people's drinks doesn't sit right with him, what if you were a victim? he would never forgive himself if that ever happened.

which is why he always accompanies you to parties/clubs and nearly EVERYTIME you go out. not that you're complaining though

"hey, you there. pass me that cup.. ya know, from a guy to a guy, eh?" a drunkard 'pst'ed at him, eyeing the cup in his hand that he knew was yours. the drunkard really didn't think he couldn't see the shameless stares he was giving at you, did he?

he only glared at the drunkard (who by a coincidence looked like a junkie as well, it really pulled the pieces together), his eyes narrowing at him. he stayed silent, not wanting to even speak to him and answer, he wasn't worthy anyway.

as the drunkard kept on persisting and was inching closer and closer to him he knew enough was enough and would not allow that man to take one step closer to him and your cup (i mean it held your favourite soda so). "take one more step and i swear you will not live to see another day." the man, clearly confused and scared, stopped in his tracks.

"oh you're their boyfriend, uh? .... that shouldn't matter. you know what to do to help a man in need right? no need to threaten me!" the drunkard let out the most disgusting, vile laugh he had ever heard. he was now irritated. "you think i'm joking huh? would you still think i'm joking if i fought you right now?" his tone was sharp and lethal, he was not having any of it.

that man dare would spike your drink and even shamelessly ask him (not your boyfriend sadly) to pass you your cup? abso-fucking-not. before he knew it the drunkard was on the ground, and although drunk and dazed, was pleading for him to not have mercy on him. "p-please! have mercy on me i swear on my life to never do that ever a-again p-please!" it was a funny sight to say the least, to see him cry and beg for mercy. as he should.

"you better swear on that life of yours, if i ever see you in here asking another man to spike someone's drink you bet i'm beating your ass again. and i promise i won't let you live to see the light."

— ALHAITHAM, WRIOTHESLEY, capitano, diluc, WANDERER, pierro, DAINSLEIF

the reliable one, he is never drunk, barely really. even if he did drink he knew how to control it, he makes sure he's sober when being with you!!! he's fierce when protecting your cup and tries to be friendly/passive but if he needs to be, he will be violent, sigh... they were asking for it.

you know your cup is in safe hands. he is trustworthy and reliable when it comes to protecting your things when you ask for it.

he is positive that nothing will happen, for the couple of hours you've been there no trouble has stirred in the club so he was sure that nothing would happen as he patiently waited for you.

he sits up straight on the couch, holding the cup with his hands, his foot tapping on the ground. as he waits he notices from the corner of his eye someone scooching closer to him. at first he wasn't worried although he was a little on edge but you know, nothing much. but when they got too close for comfort he moved to the side, now focusing on the man.

"uhm, if you could please not come so close to me, thank you." he tried to polite, not wanting to anger the man. he looked sober, so he wasn't drunk nor on drugs. "why not, young man? hey whad'ya say..." his gaze drops to the cup in his hands, he immediately clenched the cup, creeped out. "$10 for that cup?"

"... you.... you do realize that this isn't mine right? why do you want the cup anyway?" at this point he wanted to walk away and never see him ever again but he was in too deep now, plus, he needed to wait here for you. the man chuckles and dismisses his question. "you needn't worry young man, take it or leave it."

without any hesitation he immediately refuses his offer. "no." his answer was blunt and cold, he wasn't messing around. the man slowly backed away upon hearing his tone, grumbling about how men these days don't take the bait.

he takes their role as the holder of your drink very seriously. you can trust that he'll keep a keen eye on it until your return.

but.. if by any chance they are drunk and the only person you trust to hold you drink, you still have faith in him of course! but to be honest when they're drunk they're a little bit... too much so it's okay, nobody will dare to come and talk to him.

— TIGHNARI, KAVEH, xiao, ZHONGLI, THOMA, pantalone, kazuha, AYATO, baizhu, albedo, gorou, NEUVILLETTE

the photographer guardian, they're armed with their phone and take a snapshot of your drink, proclaiming themselves the official cup guardian. they protect your drink yet ensure you have a visual record of your drink's momentary protector.

when he sees that your back is towards him he wastes no time in taking out his phone and snapping a picture of the cup before taking a selfie of him holing the cup to his face, just barely covering half of his face. he took many photos to say the least.

he posted it on his instagram story as well, to the poor soul's finger, take it easy on yourself as you vigorously tap on the screen to get rid of all of his stories.

and the captions? my god the captions. "haha guess who's the cup guardian rn?" "?!?!?! i wonder whose cup this is..." "look at me and this cup, wow... i'm like guarding it so hard rn"

what did "guarding it so hard" mean? no idea. obviously he takes his job seriously as well, but why not have a little fun? i mean you trust him of all people to hold your cup, to protect your cup from being tampered with. so yes, of course he will protect it with his life! if anyone was to come too close for comfort and eye your drink suspiciously, even just a little glance at your drink will put him on high alert.

he tries not to ruin his vibe at the club and refrains from arguing with the person but will not hesitate to throw hands if necessary!! he mumbles under his breath about how annoying this woman was, she randomly walked up to him and began to flirt with him in the hopes of inching closer to him and then maybe spike your drink.

trust me, he has a lot of experience with these types of people, people who flirt or make small talk in order to get closer to the person and then spike the drink without them noticing, unfortunately many people fall for their trick.

"ah, no. what are you trying to do? do you take me for someone stupid?" he's clearly offended that this person thought that they could really trick him. "you really think flirting with me will do you any good? spiking drinks are we?" he tsks, glaring at the woman. she scoffs and gets up from the couch and walks away angrily, her plan had failed.

when you come back and see him taking photos of him with your cup he immediately puts his phone away and acts like he did nothing. "huh? photo? pfffffff WHAATTT no never. no." you know he's lying. like c'mon you LITERALLY caught him in the action.

but please ignore all the notifications on your phone where he mentioned (@ed) you in the pictures he took, it was stupid, yes.

— CYNO, CHILDE, dottore, kaeya, LYNEY, heizou

begins to act feral and barks.. i mean it works so... that's all that matters right?

.... honestly, don't even ask me why or how. they saw one tiktok of someone barking at a man to scare them off and it worked so why not try it out? the second the suspicious man begins to make small talk with him (he looked around 40 years old, a junkie? mayhaps) he doesn't pay too much mind, if anything he exchanged a couple of words

but when he senses that something is off he tries to steer away from him, pointing at random things and trying to get the man to focus on another thing but alas, it did not work. he would do everything to keep your cup safe, so even though his way of keeping your drink safe is a bit silly he only means the best.

"WROOF BARK MEOW GRRRR" oh my days the attention he brought to himself when he began to bark? hello? it's so embarrassing but aye, it worked! the man, clearly terrified now began to back away and cursed at him. "you weirdo!" he yelled before running off. he only laughed it off, yes, he had no shame.

— ITTO, VENTI

note: i just woke up and i forgot i needed to write (9 am help)

taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @v4an @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls if im missing anyone please tell me because i have an inkling feeling i missed a few..

liking + following + reblogs are very much appreciated!!!

another note: not proof read so if you found any spelling/grammar mistakes PLEASE tell me

#genshin impact x reader #kaeya x reader #albedo x reader #diluc x reader #zhongli x reader #xiao x reader #baizhu x reader #kazuha x reader #ayato x reader #itto x reader #gorou x reader #heizou x reader #venti x reader #neuvillette x reader #wriothesley x reader #freminet x reader #childe x reader #dainsleif x reader #aether x reader #pantalone x reader #pierro x reader #capitano x reader #lyney x reader #cyno x reader #al haitham x reader #kaveh x reader #dottore x reader #wanderer x reader #thoma x reader #genshin impact x you

[cindylcuwho]

stepdad!chris hcs next?no rushobvi i love ur work and the stepdad!matt ones were amazinggg

“ stepdad! chris headcanons ★ “

— ꒰ 🍒 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 ꒱ headcanons of chris as a stepdad (son)

— ꒰ 🐁 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 ꒱ no warning, pure fluff! the kids name is aiden cus i needed a name 😭😭😭

— ꒰ 🗯️ 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 ꒱ here i’m done

chris with a little kid (3-5ish)

— let’s start this off with there was no hiding your son from chris.

— chris just wanted to check the time and when he clicked your phone on, a pic of the little baby clinging to your chest with a goofy smile was staring back at him.

— he didn’t want to intrude but the questions consumed him until asking who the kid was, was all he wanted to do. “have you seen my toothbr–“ “do you have a kid or does you dad still have game?”

— when night came and the triplets dropped you off at your apartment, chris kissed you goodbye .. and then you didn’t hear from him for a straight week.

— you were used to guys running off after discovering you had a child, many didn’t want the responsibility so you couldn’t really be upset. but chris was truly the sweetest you’ve been with so when he didn’t answer his phone all you wanted to do was stay in bed and cry.

— but you couldn’t. you had work, and you had another person that needed caring. so fuck heartbreak, you didn’t need a man, you created the best one (in a non weird boy-mom way）

— chris did eventually show up at your door, and when he did it was the first time he’s ever been that serious about something. nick and matt definitely took part in yelling talking some sense into him.

— he even stayed the night, keeping a hand wrapped around you waist as you cuddled, pulling you closer whilst whispering sweet nothings and apologizing for being a jackass the whole week.

— chris woke up to the kid jumping on him. as soon as he let out a laugh from the hyperness and a “woah! hey there lil’ guy” aiden stopped and stared at him with wide eyes in awe until you finally woke up.

— you and chris were more careful since that morning, just incase you two did break things off after a couple months you didn’t want to expose your own son to that, chris was kind of upset but still respected your motherly wishes.

— a little over a year later chris was over frequently but not fully moved in. aiden was yet to be used to not being the only man in the house, which only made chris laugh anytime he’d blubber out some nonsense on how your only his mommy.

— but when he finally began thinking for himself, aiden quickly became a mini chris. in his eyes, chris was the coolest person he knew, listened to the coolest music, dressed the coolest, talked the coolest, everything.

— chris was scared shitless when you called asking if he could somehow pick aiden up from kindergarten whilst you go to a job interview. he had never been left alone with a little kid for more than five minutes, and wasn’t sure if the teacher would let the little guy leave with him, but he still said yes - not wanting to disappoint you.

— aiden was starstruck when he looked up from where he was sitting to see chris walking closer. he ran over and hugged his leg, and it’s a surprise he even let go.

— chris did anything aiden wanted to do while taking care of him, even demolishing old lego sets so he could re-build them with the help of his new little buddy.

— they colored, sipped juice boxes while watching spongebob, and even played with the cool dino toys you had gotten him.

— aiden wasn’t stupid, he knew chris wasn’t his dad and he was alright with it. the problem was when word got around that you met somebody that it not only spread across the parents, but to the kids in his class.

— all he wanted to do was play with his friends on the playground, but another little boy decided to wreck the fun and make fun of aiden for having a ‘fake dad’ ‘cus his actual one didn’t want him.

— your voice rang through his little mind as he took the words in, you always said violence would never solve anything, but when another kid decided to tease and say “my dad said he’s gonna leave just like your other one ‘cause your moms the worst.” all hell broke loose.

— aiden managed to land in the principals office, crying tears as he waited for you to show up for the parents meeting. the look on your face only made it worse, he didn’t want to upset his mom but he knew what the other kids were saying was bad.

— on the brighter side, you brought chris along with you, who had brought him a little snack to help calm him down.

— throughout the meeting chris kept giving snarky glances the fathers way. chris is knowingly on the less mature side, but hearing that not only did someone have the audacity to insult his woman, a very hard working and loving woman, they had even more audacity to do it during a dinner where his kid was bound to here it.

— the more the dad tried to explain what he meant the more chris wanted to jump up and fight him himself, but he knew to keep quiet. he’d hate himself for being the reason anybody thinks aidens lash out was because thats what goes on at home.

— the car ride home was more pleasant than aiden thought. he thought he was getting a sturn talking to, maybe even a timeout, but instead he got a happy meal and got to build more lego sets with chris.

— chris was totally taken aback when aiden began calling him dad. it was all so random too, he had simply asked for a popsicle and when received he said “thank you dad!” and continued casually playing games on your phone.

— he walked away before walking back like “???”, he was used to ‘cool guy’ and ‘chris!’ definitely not dad. he stared at the back of his little head before walking back to his original position- thinking it was just an accident.

— but then the accident happened again.. and then again.. and then within a month chris proudly wore a “father of the year” with gru on the front that matt bought him as a joke.

— he loved having little family moments with you two, and loved that he was considered part of the family. chris never saw himself as a dad, like psychically couldn’t and thought he’d always be too immature, but there he was at every single thing aiden wanted to participate in, and cheering the loudest.

— chris broke down crying when aiden came home showing off his drawn family picture. you were on the left, and there chris was on the right, with little stick drawings of nick, matt, and justin in the background.

— chris got it printed and made sure everybody hung it on their fridge, but kept the original on a wall in your room alongside the many more drawings aiden would bring home.

— ꒰ 🗯️ 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 part two ꒱ i don’t like the end but i couldn’t think of a conclusion lmao

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo fanfiction #matt sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo snaps #matt x reader #matt sturniolo series #matthew sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #chris x reader #sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets x reader #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut

[prazinos]

Hello!

Can I request Ajax with female siren reader. Like she has crush on him and he kinda see her in her like.. mermaid form and everything else is up to you (romantic nsfw)

This was actually really cute and I hope you think so too anon!

Scales

Summary: After hearing a rumour that Ajax had a crush on you, you needed to clear your head. Thank god you weren’t the only one out after curfew.

WARNINGS ! ~ Minors DNI | Smut | Fingering {F} | Palming {M} | Public sex | PiV | Fluff

Ajax had been mentioned in your secret journal at least one hundred times according to Enid. But she was dramatic so, who cares what she thinks?

You care. You care what she thinks. In this exact moment because you quite literally cannot believe what she’s telling you.

Enid practically ran to your dorm. She had heard a rumour that Ajax, THE AJAX has a crush on you, YOU.

That’s how you got here, freaking out, not knowing if it was just a rumour or not, although it was probably a rumour with your luck.

Enid left your dorm after a needed freak out and you had decided to go down to the lake so you could relax in the water.

Although you weren’t like other sirens, with your Y/E/C eyes and dark green tail, the sirens treated you like you weren’t different, and you appreciated that.

As you stepped into the water and felt your legs begin to turn into your tail you dove into the water. Allowing your thoughts to drift away as you felt home in the water.

After a while you decided that it was getting late and you didn’t need another detention for staying out after curfew. You knew Bianca would cover for you but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

As you pushed yourself onto the deck and started to dry your tail (legs?) you heard footsteps approaching you, you turned around to see the same snake headed boy you were desperately crushing on.

He waves a bit awkwardly and sat next to you, dangling his legs about the water.

You noticed that he kept glancing at your tail as you dried it. Mind you, you’ve had tons of children try and touch your tail before their parents pull them away telling them not to talk to freaks like you.

‘Touch it if you want, I don’t care’ you said patting your leg dry.

He hesitated before poking your tail. You give him a look before he places his hand on it. Feeling the scales. You smiled internally at his face. He looked like a kid in a candy shop.

‘It’s so beautiful. You’re so beautiful’ he mumbles. You blush what feels like an insane amount, he thinks you’re beautiful. He thinks your tail is beautiful.

You brushed his hand off patting dry the final stubborn patch of scales.

Stretching your legs out you pick up your lotion, you hate how dry your legs get after they transform back to, well, legs.

You start to rub the lotion up and down your left leg as for some reason it’s always the most dry.

‘So why exactly are you out here?’ You ask not taking your eyes off your legs.

‘I was hoping we could talk’

‘About?’

‘You’ve probably heard the rumours I suppose?’

‘About you being madly in love with me? Ajax how could I not’

He laughs looking down at his hands, picking at the nails.

‘They aren’t rumours you know’

You look up at him to see him blushing. Your eyes widen as you realise he’s not bullshitting you.

‘What’

‘I wanted to tell you and then somebody overheard me and Wednesday talking about you and started telling people’ Ajax said looking down at his hands once more

‘Oh’

‘Just oh?’

‘Well, I just don’t know how to react, I mean of course I’ve had a crush on you for like ages but I didn’t think you actually liked me back’

‘Can I-um, can I kiss you?’ Ajax asked not taking his eyes off his hands.

You reach out to his jaw moving his head so he faces you, you lean in, still not kissing him yet Incase he changed his mind. He fills the gap and you don’t think you’ve ever felt softer lips.

You move your body facing him properly and he moves his hands from his lap to come around your waist, he lifts you up (were all stoners secretly strong?) and places you in his lap, lips never breaking contact. Your hands wrap around his neck and deepen the kiss.

You honestly wish you had hair to pull on but, you can’t really pull on snakes without them biting you, huh.

The jacket he was wearing would fill your desire to pull on something. As you pull him down backwards (slowly) so you were lying down, you could feel his cock harden in his jeans. You removed one of your hands from his jacket and moved it down and palmed his cock through his pants.

He let out a moan at the contact, you broke the kiss looking at him, his eyes were hooded, desperately trying to keep eye contact with you.

You continued to palm him through his pants as he let out whimpers and moans.

‘Please Y/N, please stop im gonna cum’ he whispered.

You stopped and when you did, he must have gained some confidence as he leaned down and started to bite your neck before soothing it with his tongue. You knew he was going to leave marks but you could care less.

He pulled down your shorts and underwear, dragging a finger up the slick of your cunt.

‘Shit you’re so wet Y/N’ he mumbled before inserting a finger into your wet hole. He thrust it in and out before curling it to hit the spongey spot inside you.

Your back arched, pressing your boobs into his chest as he inserted a second finger.

‘Ajax, I need, I need your cock’ you mutter as you kissed his neck.

‘I don’t um, I don’t have a condom’ he said looking away from you.

‘I’m fine with it if you are’ you say, immediately he unzips his jeans and pushes them down just enough to reveal his cock. You were taken back by the size.

You’ve had sex with other guys before, only normies, and they were okay, mainly just taking what they wanted leaving you to finish yourself off.

And they all had average cocks ranging from 5-6 inches but Ajax was at least 7 inches, he was thick too. God you knew it would hurt but in the most delicious way possible.

You were right, it did hurt as he pushed the blunt tip into you, it felt like he was splitting you open, when he was in all the way he waited for your permission to move, rubbing your clit in hopes to relax you.

When you nodded, he pulled out nearly all of his cock before slamming it back inside you.

You couldn’t believe the places he was reaching. He kept pounding into you as you moaned

‘Shit Y/N you feel so good, fuck’

You couldn’t help but moan as he started to kiss your neck again while pounding into you.

You reached down to rub your clit but he slapped it away replacing your fingers with his own. Rubbing feverish, tight circles attempting to get you to your release.

Your back arched as he hit somewhere inside you that you didn’t even know existed. You let out a wanton moan and he groaned into your neck.

‘Ajax, Ajax I’m gonna cum’ you panted.

He somehow started fucking you even faster, desperate to have you reach your release.

‘Me too, fuck you’re so tight’ he whimpered into your ear. That threw you over the edge as your back arched once more.

You felt him release inside you not long after, his hips bucking into you his cum coating your inner walls.

He groaned into your neck as he pulled out. He moved from above you pulling his boxers and jeans up before pulling yours over your hips. He helped you stand up wrapping an arm around your waist.

Your legs felt like they would give out as they shook.

‘Holy shit i must be alright at fucking you if your legs are shaking’

‘Ajax, shut up’

He smiled as he helped you walk back to your dorm. Thankfully nobody was around to see you post sex.

You opened your dorm room giving Ajax one last peck.

‘Can I take you out to Jericho on the weekend? We could go to the um to the coffee shop’ he smiled nervously.

‘I’d really like that’ you responded just as nervously before Ajax smiled and turned to walk away. You closed the door and fist pumped a little.

You turned around to see Bianca looking at you expectedly. Shit.

A/N I feel like this was a bit shorter than my previous smuts so I apologise ! But I am working on more requests !

Please let me know if you enjoyed this by, Liking, Reblogging, or Commenting !

Thanks my loves <3

#ajax petropolus x reader #ajax petropolus #ajax x reader #Ajax Petropolus smut #wednesday the series #wednesday x reader #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe smut

[heyhilana]

Just One of the Guys (Catfish Morales)

Summary: Frankie tries to make amends with you after a mission that goes wrong, leaving you not talking to the boys for a while. But with the time that has passed, you realize that you missed someone more than you thought.

A/N: Hi! This has been sitting in my unfinished drafts for a while, so I wanted to finish this story and so many more that I never got around to. This is my new mission for now, and then I will get to making newer stuff. I hope you enjoy it, and as always, drink water and smile &lt;3

Pairing: Frankie Morales x !f reader

Warnings: Mentions of violence, death, shooting, but not much else.

Word Count: 6.7K (listen can you blame me)

Masterlist

“You were going to go on this trip by yourself?” Frankie asked as you let him in the house, closing the door behind him.

“Yes, and is that a problem?” You went to the kitchen, taking a sip of your wine.

“Yes that is! You could’ve at least told Tom but no one?” Frankie sat down on your couch, and your blood was boiling at the mere mention of Tom.

“Tom is busy with his life. I’m not going to report to him as if he’s my P.O..” You scoffed.

“Then tell me, Santi, Will, Benny, somebody! But you should’ve said something.” Frankie was angry, and the last time you saw him this angry was the last time you saw him in general.

“I can handle myself. I don’t need a babysitter, Frankie,” You huffed, getting irritated by his never-ending concerns for you. You appreciated them, but they were getting a little out of hand. It was almost as if he didn’t believe that you could protect yourself and that he had to be your protector.

“I know you can, but we look out for each other.” His tone was softer, but you weren’t letting up.

“I know that you have my back, especially after what happened, but you can’t keep me from going on this mission by myself.” This was your first mission by yourself that you were going on for the first time in three years. It was scary, but you knew that it had to be done.

“It’s too dangerous.”

“I’ve done missions likes these plenty of times.”

“Yeah, but all of us were right there with you incase anything went wrong. You have no backup, only Plan A.” That set you off.

“My contact is going to be within the area, and I know this area better than all of you. I’m going to be fine.” You were irritated with him. The last thing you wanted was to have them around you. It was hard enough letting Frankie back into your life, but the others? Not a shot in hell.

“Then tell me this. You’re not still mad about before, are you?”

-

You were walking along in the forest, all the boys in tow as you made your way to your target’s house. It was a big mission that couldn’t leave either of you out as you both needed to have each other’s back and be the other’s eyes and ears if need be. You found the hill you were going to sit on with your sniper and were waiting to hear what the next steps would be.

“Okay. Iron and Benny, you take the right corridor. Pope and Cat, you take the west side. I’ll be taking the back entrance and Y/N will stay on the hill to take any shots necessary. Got it?”

“Yes. Let’s move out.” Pope and the rest move out just as you set up your post on the hill. You made sure there were no onlookers nearby as you put on your camouflage poncho. You laid down on the hill, putting your sniper set up together just as Tom spoke into the walkie-talkie.

“You’re all set?”

“Almost. You guys made it down the hill yet?” You were putting the scope together, careful to not break it.

“I’m just now reaching the back entrance and the others are doing the same. Be ready, Y/n. A lot can go wrong right now,” Tom was worried, but you were calm and collected.

“I know that a lot can go wrong, but it’s going to be fine. I just finished setting up and I got you guys.” You got no response, but you shrugged it off, putting the sniper stand in position and laying down to look through your scope. You adjusted the zoom as you saw Cat and Pope splitting up to take the hallways. You shifted and saw Iron and Benny walking into the kitchen, incapacitating the two guys sitting at the table.

“Kitchen is clear.” Iron spoke into the walkie-talkie.

“Living room is clear.” Cat called out.

“Move into the bedroom.” Tom ordered. You moved your scope to the bedroom, seeing that the guard was patrolling with an open window.

“I have a clear shot on the guard, but our target is nowhere to be seen.” You spoke into your walkie-talkie, noticing that the guard had an Uzi on him.

“Take the shot, and we’ll find out where the target is.” You followed orders, a clean shot right at the guard’s head as he fell down right when Pope and Cat walked through the door.

“Coast is clear. He must be on the roof.” Pope spoke. And sure enough, you moved your scope up to see that the target was going through the hatch with a gun in hand, making way for the escape.

“He’s on the roof with a gun. Be careful.” You warned, upping your zoom so your shot was not interfered with. It was beginning to get windy, making you question whether a snipe was ideal given the situation.

“Got it. Pope and Cat, climb out through the window and get to the roof. Iron and Benny, follow up to the hatch as I believe it’s near the staircase. I will follow suit with the staircase as soon as you all get up there.” Something about the plan was spelling disaster in the pit of your stomach, but you said nothing. You watched as Pope and Cat followed suit with their orders, your heart pounding as Cat almost lost his grip, potentially falling down from 3 stories. But Pope helped him up, and then both climbed right up just as Iron and Benny surrounded the target.

“I will shoot you all!” The target was erratic, and you were worried that he would accidentally shoot at the very least, making this more complicated. Everyone had their guns pulled, but Pope was the one to put his down.

“You’re outnumbered. Give us the gun, and this can all go very easy for all of us.” Pope had his hands up, but the rest still were trained on him. Faintly, you could see Tom in the back opening the hatch, careful to not alert the target.

“You killed my brother. Why should I surrender to you? So you can kill me or make me rot away in an American prison?’

“Your brother tried to blow up a U.S. Embassy. We tried to get him to work with us but he chose his fate. You can still choose yours.” Iron spoke from behind, and the feeling of what could go wrong killed you inside. And your fears were proven right. The man was beginning to lower his gun and Pope was walking over to him with cuffs from his pocket, but from afar, another sniper was watching, and he sniped Santi in the leg and the target got him in a chokehold, gun at his head. Your heart dropped down to your stomach, knowing that it could’ve possibly hit an artery. You moved your sniper around and saw the man from 100 meters away from you, all in black, waiting for the next move. You shot him, the silenced snipe thankfully not alerting the target. You moved your sniper back around, seeing that it was a riskier standoff than you anticipated. Time was of the essence, but to know that you could potentially shoot one of your own was not an option.

“You’ve got nowhere to run. Let him go and we won’t kill you.” Cat’s voice was slightly wavering, and you saw that the man was spinning around too much to get a clear shot. The wind was getting stronger, a huge gust almost moving your sniper out of place.

“You’ve taken from me, so I’ll take from you. A fair trade don’t you think?” He laughed, knowing that time was limited on his side.

“If you don’t let him go, we will shoot you.” Suddenly, he turned in your direction, making it impossible to get a clear shot as Pope’s head was in the way.

“I can’t shoot. You’ll need to direct him the other way for me to kill him.”

“Take the shot.” Tom was erratic as he spoke to you in a harsh yet soft tone given his close proximity, and you were not having it.

“I can’t. I might hit Pope instead and not the target. Or potentially I hit both!” You were angry at Tom’s orders knowing that he would potentially risk his friend’s life and not get the target killed. The wind was slowly letting up, but you were hoping that a huge gust wouldn’t come until the target was killed.

“Take the shot. That’s an order, Y/n!” He barked at you.

“I’m not risking his life! I will wait until it’s safe!” You were stern.

“Take the shot. You’re risking everyone’s lives right now.” Tom was trying to guilt you, but you stood your ground.

“I will take it when it’s safe.” Tom was furious with you in response, but you kept your cool, watching and listening, waiting for the right time.

“Let him go. I will not tell you again.” Cat was trying to distract him, but as Iron tried to move closer to incapacitate him, the sound was too much, making the target turn around.

“Over my dead body.” He pointed the gun at Iron, and you shot the target right in the head, careful to avoid Pope. He fell, his leg needing medical attention, or else it would go from bad to worse.

“Are you all okay?”

“We’re all good from here. We’ll meet you up on the hill.” Tom was short, and you could see from your scope that he was ranting about how this went wrong. You sighed, packing up your stuff and waiting for them at least halfway to make it easier on you.

After a few minutes of walking down the hill, you saw them all with Cat and Iron holding up Pope so he could walk.

“Is he okay?” You asked, seeing that he was out of it.

“He’ll live. He lost a bit of blood but we have blood bags in the heli.” Benny responded, and although he was always nice to you, he never met your gaze, making you wonder if they were as mad at you as Tom was.

“You should’ve taken the shot.” Tom finally spoke, and the rage boiling in you was at its hottest temperature.

“I could’ve killed Pope. I want him to still have a chance to go home to his family. I want all of you to still go home to your families!”

“You take the shot anyways. We all know the risks the minute we decide to go. You could’ve gotten us all killed behind that.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Was it better to take a risky shot that had multiple wrong endings than to wait for the right time? The wind could’ve moved your scope and you could’ve hit Iron, Benny, Pope, or Cat. You could’ve killed Santi and not the target. Or kill them both but now your worst fears have come true. It wasn’t worth it, not when you care about them like brothers.

“I had to calculate the risks.”

“I already calculated that and I told you to take it anyways.”

“Did you calculate that there was another sniper going to be here? No, you didn’t. You can’t calculate everything going into it and things get fucked up. This got fucked up because of a surprise sniper and I wasn’t going to make it worse by rushing. It didn’t feel right.”

“Forget about that. You take the shot when I tell you to. That’s what you’re here for.” You raised an eyebrow at the last few words, the sudden unappreciation hitting the forefront.

“That’s what I’m here for? What, am I just a tool for you guys?” You scoffed.

“N-No. That’s not what I meant-“ You didn’t want to hear it. Not when your fear of getting involved with a team was coming true. After years of doing this line of work on your own, you found a group that made you happy for the most part, even when you felt slighted when they would leave you out of things back home. You considered them to be friends, even Cat and Benny your closest. But to know that things were unrequited on their ends was enough to make you never want to see them again.

“No, I know what you meant. I’m glad to now know why I always felt so out of place. You guys never cared about me, only for my skillset. That’s why I never met your families, why I never got invited to Benny’s fights, why I was never invited to go to any of your houses. You guys only used me for your benefit, and I thought I was crazy for thinking that.” You began to walk past them, but Cat tried to hold your arm.

“Hey, that’s not true-“

“Francisco, don’t clean this up. I’d rather hear this than believe a lie. Just get us home and I’ll go my way and you all can go in yours.” You shook his hand off you as you began walking further down the path, complete silence from all of you as you made it to the heli and back home.

-

“I’m done with that. It’s not that big of a deal anymore.” You took another sip of your wine.

“You haven’t spoken to anyone in 6 months. You only speak to me now because I tracked you down.” He was looking at you, and you didn’t like being in his gaze. Not like this. Maybe before under the pretense of friends even with the burning desire you didn’t realize was there until after you went AWOL, but now it was too much.

“Can you blame me?”

“No, but we do care about you.” You rolled your eyes at his statement.

“If this is another attempt to get my forgiveness I’ll walk you out the door.” You moved from your island and around to get closer to the door.

“Just give us this one chance. Benny is having a fight this Saturday, a few days before you go.” You groaned at this futile attempt to get you back into the group.

“I think it’s time for you to go.” You walked over to the door, opening it as Frankie was getting up to walk out.

“Think about it. If you do decide to go, we’ll be meeting in the locker room. Tell security that Benny said it was okay.” He was out of your house, and his pleading eyes almost broke you. But you stood strong, choosing not to answer that question.

“Drive safe, Frankie.” You closed the door on him, returning to your kitchen to pour another glass of wine.

There was a part of you that wanted to go, the part that you wanted to push deep down inside. What if things would be better after 6 months? Did they understand why you did what you did? Were they remotely remorseful about how they excluded you from most events that they had without you? For 4 years, nothing to make you feel close to them yet you did everything for them. You also wondered if they put Frankie up to do this, knowing that he was the only one to find you and the only one that could convince you to go. Your soft spot for him was evident, but you didn’t want to think about them using that against you to get you back in their lives only to use you again like they did before.

-

You were walking along the beach, the breeze enveloping you in coolness as it was a hot day. You made it a point to leave everything behind, settling into a new place, a new identity, a new you. You had your home with the porch you always wanted, enough money to keep you afloat until the next mission awaited you, and no one could find you within 2,000 miles just to be safe. You were happy, finding your sense of peace in a lifetime of chaos that you threw yourself into at a young age. Wanting to slow down just a little, to appreciate the finer things in life without bloodshed or broken bones taking up your time, this was the perfect place for you to live.

The calm waves caught your eye, the crystal blue water and the orange sunset contrasting perfectly. You walked closer to the water, ignoring how cold the water was against your feet. And for a moment, time stood still. It didn’t matter who else was there at the marina. It was just you, the water, and the beautiful sunset. Your past, all the favors you did for money, they were all taking the backseat for the moment. You knew that you would go back at some point, but you wanted to at least have the memories of knowing that for a little while you were blending into society without the pretenses of capturing the bad guys that the Gov’t told you to kill without a second thought. But that moment of peace was interrupted when you looked down and saw another person standing right beside you. You looked up and saw Frankie looking out into the distance like you were, and while you were happy to see him, the other part of you wanted to yell at him for finding you.

“How did you know?”

“You told me three things that you wanted to do when you got away. You wanted to live near the beach to see the water, you wanted to have your boat so you could go sailing, and you wanted to have your house with a porch that overlooked it.” To hear his voice again after all these months built up a lump in your throat, the only man you had worked with that made you feel cared for, that it was more than just a job.

“And I thought that you were only paying attention when I mentioned sports to you,” You dryly laughed, fist curled as you were holding back. “Well, you found me. Go back home and leave me be. You know I’m safe now.”

“Now you know I’m not going to do that. Six months of not hearing from you, and you think I’m just going to walk away?” He turned to face you, and it was like all the months of not seeing him faded into the distance.

“Yes! That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do! You weren’t even supposed to find me because I left for a reason. Go back to your friends and leave me alone. I don’t need them or you.” Venom was all that could be identified in your tone, the mechanism to avoid saying how much you missed him, how much you wanted to forget about the past and start anew with him in your dream destination.

“I never said you needed me or them. But I thought you would at least be happy to see me.” His voice cracked at the end, and it made your heart break.

“I’m happy to see that you didn’t get your head blown off, and despite everything I am happy to see you. But Frankie, I left for a reason, and I don’t need you watching me when I know how to take care of myself.” You were softer, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me.” That earned a hum of disapproval from you.

“Can’t you see that I’m already doing that?” You moved your hand away, and without realizing it, you both missed that gesture.

“No, you’re yelling at me and I want to talk like adults.” That was what made all the softness wash away.

“Oh? You want to talk like adults? Then tell me why I was never a part of anything you guys did together? How come when I would even ask what you guys were going to do after a mission I would get silence as an answer? I would hear from you maybe every few months for small talk and then it would segway into we need you for a job. Hell, when I was at my old home taking care of my sister did any of you call to check in? No. You only found out when I told you I couldn’t make it since she was in the hospital. You all wished me well through a text and after that, nothing. So again, why would I want to talk like adults to you when you and the boys barely treated me right then?”

“And I’m sorry, for all of it. I swear if we could all take back what we did we would in a heartbeat.” It was giving you a headache to hear him try to speak for everyone. While you could forgive him, you didn’t see a point in talking to the others again. You began to scowl a little, your body moving faster than your mind could process.

“Fucking save it. I don’t want to hear it because I bet you’re only talking to me now because of a mission and I’m your last option.” A part of you knew that it was likely the answer, but the other part of you felt that with the sincerity in his voice, maybe he just wanted to see you. But with knowing how the last few years went with working with them, you didn’t let the other half of you win.

“No! There are no missions. I just miss you-”

“Stop saying that. You don’t. You miss how much I held the team together when things went wrong. You miss all the effort I put in without expecting anything in return. That’s what you miss and I don’t want to hear it. So leave me be, and I’ll go my way and you’ll go yours.” You walked away from him despite his pleas for you to come back.

However, the irony was that Frankie was just as stubborn as you were. He didn’t let up. He called you when he could and tried to see how you were doing. He gave you your space, but he made it known that he was not leaving your life again because he realized just how much he had until you left. And maybe it was the soft spot you had for him that let him back in, or maybe it was how much effort he put in to turn this around, but you had to admit that you appreciated it all. You didn’t know if you were ready to see the rest of them again.

You sat on your couch, looking through the photos on your phone that you kept hidden away in an album. You looked at the photos you all had together, you in the middle of them all after a mission. Benny was always big on photos for some reason, and now you were grateful for it. You thought about how he always wanted to set the timer on his camera, to which Santi was annoyed that it was always set to 10 seconds instead of 5. But when you looked at them all, you saw happiness. Tom with the years wiped off his face as he was genuinely happy. Cat, looking at you with adoration that you hadn’t picked up on. Santi laughing with Iron as he was hitting his chest. Benny on the end, looking at everyone with a huge smile on his face. You played back all of the live photos, with you laughing with them and them hugging you in some. You even noticed how Tom was nice after one mission, hugging you and remembering how he said you did a great job.

Before you knew it, there were tears falling down on your screen. Although they were never the best in including you in certain events, you realized that they did care. All the times they took bullets for you, when they would help you on a solo mission, it was all their way of saying they care about you without verbalizing it. Even with how they tried to plead with you after you got off the plane and you ignored them, running to your car, it wasn’t for nothing. Sure, they had a lot of work to do in doing better, but you decided to go, to at least hear them out. You fell asleep on the couch, phone in hand as the memories lulled you away.

-

You parked outside the warehouse, debating on going in. You saw Frankie’s truck parked a few spots away from where you parked, and the others near there as well but they were all inside. You could leave, pretend that you just never came at all and they would be none the wiser, but before you knew it you were getting out of the car and locking your door to make your way to the warehouse. Up at the door was a burly man and he eyed you.

“You have a pass?”

“Benny is my friend,” It felt weird to say it, knowing that you’ve gone so long without seeing them. “He told me that it’s okay to be back here. My name should be on the list.”

“Name?” He pulled out the notepad of names, pen in hand.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” He flipped through the pages, and when he found yours, he crossed it out.

“You’re all set.” He opened the door for you, and you thanked him with the door closing on you right away. You saw many fighters already bloodied, making you wonder if you came too late even though Frankie’s reminder text said that he would start at 9, another reason to chicken out if it was too late. But you remembered that he said the locker room was down the hall, so you brushed passed the other men and ignored the whistles they gave you until you reached the double doors.

You walked in, hearing and seeing that all the boys were cheering Benny on as he was wrapping his hands. You contemplated on walking in more, knowing that they would see you. You could run out, pretend you never came, and continue not talking to them. But at the very least, you had to see if they did care at all, if they wanted to make things right. So your feet moved faster than you could process, and Frankie was the first to see you.

“You made it.” The other boys faced you, and you felt that the spotlight was on you even with this being Benny’s night.

“Yeah, but I won’t stay for long. I just wanted to wish you well, Benny.” You half smiled at him, and he returned the favor.

“Thank you, but we want you to stay. Well, we hoped you would.” He gestured between himself and the guys.

“This is the first time we’ve seen you in months, Y/N. You have to stay for at least a beer.” Iron was holding up his drink.

“We even have a seat reserved for you.” Pope mentioned.

“Really? That’s very kind of you guys to do.” You were grateful, and a part of you was beginning to believe that this would go a lot better than expected.

“When Frankie told us that he mentioned the fight to you, we wanted to save it just in case.” Tom spoke, and his tone was much softer than what you were accustomed to hearing.

“You planned this, Frankie? I thought they knew ahead of time when you told me.”

“Nope. This was all my doing.” He chuckled, and the hearty sound made your heart flutter a little.

“We thought he was crazy for doing that, knowing how stubborn you are.” Santi joked, and for the first time, you all laughed together.

“He was, but at least I came so it wasn’t a completely dumb idea.” They hummed in agreement, but then a silence fell between you all. It wasn’t until Santi nudged Benny in the shoulder that he coughed and spoke up.

“And I wanted to be the first to apologize for everything. We should’ve tried more to include you in things. You’re not just with us because you’re good at what you do. You’re with us because you’re family. Family sticks together.” The others nodded their head in agreement, and it seemed genuine.

“I need to apologize to you, Y/n. I should’ve trusted your judgment back there. That was not my place to force you to do something you didn’t feel was right. I know you were just looking out for us, and even though we all know that we might not make it back here alive in one piece, we should try to keep that as a top priority.” You were relieved that you were reaching an understanding, that there could be a future with all of them.

“I forgive you, Tom. I can understand where you were coming from, wanting to get the mission done without it being further compromised. And I forgive the rest of you. It’s not like this group started with me in it, but every time we finished one mission I wouldn’t hear from you guys unless I called or you called me if you needed me to come along. I felt so slighted but I didn’t know how to bring it up without sounding crazy. I appreciate all of this though.” You were speaking from the heart, and you would be lying if tears weren’t welling up in your eyes.

“So you’ll stay?” Santi asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

“I’ll stay.” They all cheered, and you walked over to hug them all, feeling that a piece of you that was lost was found again.

“Thank you,” Frankie whispered in your ear. You smiled even wider, knowing that this would be the perfect night before you went on your mission.

-

You were all walking out of the warehouse a little after 11, Benny coming out mostly unscathed and the belt he always wanted. Everyone went to their cars to start them up but you went to hug Will and Benny.

“Make sure Benny takes an ice bath.” You finished hugging Will and Benny.

“I will. You get home safe as well. Can’t have you destroying the road with your driving skills.” Iron joked, making you punch him in the arm.

“Yeah what he said.” Benny slurred a little. You knew that he had one too many celebratory drinks, so you let it slide.

“You wish you could drive like me. But get home safe.” You called out as Will was hauling Benny to the car. They both said bye just as Tom and Santi walked up to you.

“Be safe out there, okay? If you need help, we’ll be there.” Santi put a hand on your shoulder.

“I’ll be fine. You guys drive home safe. Promise?”

“Always.” You all hugged, and they walked off to their cars, leaving you to walk to yours as you thought Cat had left already.

“Can’t have you getting to the car by yourself now.” Frankie popped out from the right side of your car, scaring you a little.

“You scared me Cat! Don’t do that.” You were annoyed with him, but he just laughed.

“You know I’ll protect you,” His hand brushed against yours, and you were fighting against yourself to not have it intertwine with yours.

“What are you, my knight in shining armor?”

“Nope. Just a friend that wants to help out another friend.” You cut him a look as he gave his answer, neither of you really buying it.

“You gonna follow me home?” You asked, opening up your car door.

“Yeah, but I won’t be on your ass like the others do to me.”

“Okay, but you better not race me.” You winked at him, earning a scoff from him.

“I can beat you any day, cielo.” The little name widened your eyes, but you tried to keep your cool.

“Then you name the time and I’ll meet you.” You challenged him, and the way he walked up to you made you think he would try something. He brushed the hair behind your ear, staring at you with low eyes and you were fighting the urge to bite your lip as a nervous tendency.

“Just get in the car. It’s getting late.” You deflated as he said that, but you reluctantly moved away and got in the car. You pulled out first and he followed, the drive home seemingly shorter than how long it was for you to get to the warehouse. You didn’t want the night to end, but could you push the limits with this? You had only just let them all into your life but were you ready to test the waters with Frankie? It all took up your thoughts as you pulled into your driveway and Frankie parked on the side of your street. You got out of your car and locked it before waiting for Frankie to walk you to your door. Just looking at him in his infamous hat that was torn and tattered from your missions together, the mustard yellow jacket you thrifted for him, grey shirt, jeans, the same boots that he wore everywhere, you knew you were in dumbstruck awe over him. You walked to the door together, and you unlocked your door, turning on the light and walking inside.

“Are you sure you’re able to drive tonight? You’re an hour away from your home.” You were more so looking for an excuse to spend time with him, but at this point it was midnight and you knew that he had a long day.

“I can sleep in the car for a little before I drive home. It’s not a problem.” You shook your head.

“I’m not gonna let you sleep in the car when I have a couch. Just stay for the night and you cand rive back to your place in the morning.” He didn’t protest, just walking in after you and closing the door, ensuring it was locked. You both took off your shoes and jackets before pulling out a blanket and spare pillow from your linen closet. You saw that he already made himself at home, taking off his hat and putting it on your coffee table. Somehow, your house seemed more like a home with him in it.

“Do you want another pillow?”

“Querida, it’s fine. I’ve slept in worse places,” He took the pillow and blanket and put it on the couch's armrest before patting the open seat next to him. “You gonna sleep right now?”

“No, I can stay up to talk to you.” You sat down next to him, and you both just looked at each other, trying to find the words to keep the small talk going before sleep took you both away. Finally, you spoke and put your hand on his.

“I never got the chance to thank you, but really, I appreciate you putting that together. You know I’m too stubborn to talk so that means a lot to me.” You gave him a sweet smile, and he returned it and intertwined your hand with his.

“We all missed you. Nothing was the same without you and we didn’t realize how much you made the group better until we lost you. I didn’t want that to continue and then something happens to one of us.” You nodded your head.

“I can say the same. Other missions by myself didn’t feel right. It’s better to have a team, to have a family.” You squeezed his hand.

“But I really missed you, Y/n. I felt terrible when I couldn’t talk to you as much as I wanted to. I gave you space but it hurt not talking to you.” He was pulling at your heartstrings little by little, and you didn’t know how long it would take before you broke.

“You were always my favorite, Cat.” The nickname was enough to keep you from breaking, but you didn’t think you would last much longer.

“I always thought you preferred Santi over me.” Your eyes widened at that statement.

“Santi is a close favorite, but I would’ve never gone to the fight because you’re the only person that can get through to me.” You reassured him, and the way his cedar eyes were emitting from the lamp that was near him was making you fight harder to not shut him up with a kiss.

“You got a soft spot for me?” He was bold, a side of him you didn’t get to see yet.

“Maybe, maybe not,” You felt the heat rush to your face, making you want to avert your eyes to avoid confirmation that he was right.

“You sure about that?” He moved closer to you, and you did the same.

“I won’t tell you yes or no.” You were smiling like an idiot, and so was he.

“I don’t need the answer, since I can see it in your eyes.” You felt impossibly closer to him than before, letting go of his hand and placing it on his leg.

“Well what do you think the answer is?” Your eyes were flickering down to his lips, and you thought about all those times you spent getting sneaky glances at him, the way he would calm you when everything seemed to be going wrong since he was level-headed. But now, all he was doing was making the flame that wouldn’t die out for him ignite into a full-fledged fire that had to be quelled with something you held back from.

“That I’m not the only one that didn’t miss you as a friend, but as something else.” After that, it didn’t seem that speaking with words was the right answer. All it took was for you to move to him, closing the gap and feeling those soft lips against yours for the first time to be the perfect response. And clearly, he liked it too, with how you two moved together without much thought. It was instantaneous, figuring out what would be an awkward moment turning into something so blissful and sweet as you were smiling in between kisses.

“How did I go this long without kissing you?” He was feverish, and you were grinning.

“I could ask myself the same question,” You responded, but it was cut short with him kissing you again, this time with you moving to lie down on the couch and him getting on top of you. And you two were content with just that, making out like schoolkids on a late night because there was nothing better than that. Threading your fingers through his hair, his hands playing with your shirt and going underneath it, sometimes moving to more heady kisses and slowing down as needed. You were in ecstasy over it all, over six months of being alone changing over the course of one night.

-

After you finally caught your breaths, it ended up with him laying down and you laying on top of him, him rubbing circles on your back. You knew that the mission was just a few days away, and you didn’t want to leave him so soon.

“I have a question.” You mumbled, sleep suddenly calling your name.

“Que paso?”

“About the mission, did you want to go with me? You don’t have to since I know it’s so soon-“

“I was planning on going anyways. No reason to go by yourself when I’m here.” He answered without a second thought, and you began to smile once more.

“Thank you.”

“Siempre. Now sleep, little one.” He kissed your forehead, and you felt safe with him. You had your heart put back together by his antics, and you got something more out of it that you weren’t expecting.

#triple frontier fic #pedro pascal #lana things #pedropascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #triple frontier #frankie morales fanfiction #frankiemorales #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales x reader #francisco morales #frankie morales #frankie morales x you #santiago pope garcia #william ironhead miller #benny miller #lana writes

[gatsby-system-folks]

if you live in Tennessee, here's some people you can call 🍉

I'm by no means an expert, and am always open to constructive criticism, especially at times like this, but this is who I'm calling to ask for support of Palestine. These are a list of representatives and senators from TN, and you can find which one specifically represents you here (also if you're not in TN you can find your rep on this website)

U. S. senate:

Marsha Blackburn- [phone]

Bill Hagerty- [phone]

representatives:

Diana Harshbarger- [phone]

Tim Burchett- [phone]

Charles Fleischmann- [phone]

Scott DesJarlais- [phone]

Andrew Ogles- [phone]

John W. Rose- (202)255- 4231

Mark E. Green- [phone]

David Kustoff- [phone]

Steve Cohen- [phone]

short v Hello, I'm calling to ask you to support the palestinian people, and condem Israel's atrocious actions against them on the gaza strip, which by providing weapons to israel, the U.S. is complicit in. if you don't support the palestinian people, i cannot support you in the next election. Thank you

long v Hello. I'm calling to ask you to support Palestinians, and stop the Israeli genocide of the Palestinian people, which the U.S. is complicit in. Israel is committing genocide according to the Merriam-Webster definition of the word. from CNN and Vox, the U.S. provides most of Israel's weapons, making the U.S. complicit to this horrific act. Israel has claimed that they are trying to eliminate Hamas, however according to imeu.org, Israel is breaking the Geneva convention with its actions in Gaza, and is holding the Gaza strip in Apartheid. Reporters such as Bisan Owda describe the horrific bombings happening all over the strip, killing thousands, including thousands of children. from NPR and the Washington post, Rafah was considered the last safe place for over a million Palestinian refugees, and now Israel is bombing it. At least 67 people are now dead in Rafah because of this bombing. I once again ask you to support the Palestinian people and condemn the horrific actions of Israel, I cannot support you in the next election if you don't. Thank you.

I included two incase somebody asks for elaboration, but as somebody else on here said, when calling a rep quantity over quality (when it's reasonable, still be polite and give accurate info etc). Also somebody else else on here said that calling is more effective than emails because emails are easier to ignore and a ringtone is audible, meaning anyone in the office can hear them not answering their phone.

Blackburn I know supports Israel. Cohen is the only Democrat among all of them afaik. Wish I had more insight to give here, I need to do more research.

Anyway free Palestine 🍉

#ill say it again please criticize me if ive got any info wrong or anything but please know i have good intentions and am not trying #to spread misinformation. i humbly request that you're gentle with me lol #also yes a lot of the letter is oversimplified because its meant to be read outloud in summary over the phone #listen to palestinian voices. journalists and others. the palestine tag on here has a lot of good information. #palestine #free palestine #gaza #tennessee #palestine tag #rafah #call your reps #call your senators

[softblesses]

Winter is Here.

Please don’t reblog to non-kink blogs. It hasn’t been fully beta read or edited yet, but I’m impatient.

Part 2!

~Continue reading under the line~

When Neal wakes the next morning, he has no idea how he teleported from the couch downstairs, to the bed upstairs. . The last thing he vaguely remembers is Peter and El giving him water? And. . . Satchmo being upset. It’s mostly a blur, really. His head still feels like somebody stuffed cotton inside it, and he can’t breathe through his nose no matter how hard he tries. He doesn’t feel so dazed though, and he’s no longer chilled to the bone either. That’s a start.

It takes some time, but he manages to shuffle himself to the bathroom. Elizabeth has left him a towel and some toiletries, and he spends way longer in the shower than he should; the steam is calming for his sinuses, and he can finally breathe a little. Eventually, he emerges in the pair of clean pyjamas El had left out for him — the others were. . Very damp with sweat — and face to face with Peter.

“Save any hot water for me?” He jests, looking Neal over. “You look a little less deathly.”

“Thank you?” Neal sniffles, still very clearly under the weather. No, more than that. He’s completely beneath the weather, if you ask Peter.

“El’s made breakfast — she’s taken Satch out for a walk. I’m workin’ from home, just to keep an eye on you. Feel special?” Peter chuckles, leading the way to the staircase.

Neal’s slow to make his way down, still staying quiet, and taking a seat at the breakfast table. In all honesty, he doesn’t want to eat anything, but he knows he should at least try. Whilst Peter fixes him a plate of fruits and pancakes, he glances over the paperwork on the table.

“You brought the paperwork home?” Neal questions, picking up the Tylenol Peter also sets down, with another glass of water.

“Yeah, for me — not for you. You need to rest. But, I took it just incase you made a miraculous recovery.”

A long pause.

“Were you gonna do my paperwork for me?” Neal asks, a grin starting to form.

“Maybe. . . Some of it. I can’t do it all, or that wouldn’t be truthful to events.” His handler mutters, sitting on the chair to his right and reaching for his coffee.

Neal stays quiet, the smile never leaving his face. Usually, Peter would tell him to keep quiet and stop smiling. But, well, he’s already doing one of the two and it’s nice to finally see him look a little like the usual Neal Caffrey again. He picks at his fruits, and takes a small bite of pancake, before leaning back in his chair. A slight shiver shakes his body, and it’s barely ten seconds before Peter is standing and bringing back a blanket.

“You know, I could get used to this.” The CI murmurs, holding onto the blanket and tucking his knees up to his chest.

“Yeah? Well, don’t. You better not be getting sick on me again anytime soon. . .” Peter trails off, glancing at the files, before looking back up at him again. “How did you hide it all day, anyway? I was still around you for practically most of it. I didn’t see you cough, or even hear a sneeze.”

Neal chuckles softly, tilting his head slightly to glance up at the light above them, before sneezing almost silently into cupped hands.

“That a skill you’ve perfected over the years, huh? And what’s — what’s with the light thing?” Peter points his pen upwards, giving Neal a look. “Also, wash your hands. I don’t want whatever it is that’s befallen the great Neal Caffrey.”

“‘S one of by mamny talembts.” Neal confirms, voice carrying more congestion now. “You thimk I’mb great? I want that in writing.” He taps the table with his index finger, before turning away to sneeze again; audibly into his elbow this time.

“Right, now definitely go wash your hands!” Peter exclaims, just as the back door opens and El wanders in with a slightly muddy Satchmo.

“It was into my elbow!” Neal protests, glancing at the door and blinking away the tears in his eyes, sniffling loudly.

“Neal!” Elizabeth beams. “You’re looking a little better, how do you feel?”

“Like Peter’s gonna put me on the naughty step.” He grumbles, still sniffling.

“Neal, for the love of God, would you blow your nose?”

“It’s alright, his cofffee hasn’t settled into his bones yet.” Elizabeth chuckles, patting Neal on the shoulder. “Come lie down, I’ll get you some tissues and more tea.”

Casting a smug smile Peter’s way, Neal makes his way to the couch again, quite thankful to lie down now that he’s doing so. It still hurts to swallow, but maybe the tea will help. Although, his head is slowly beginning to feel worse, and so he does proceed to take himself to the bathroom and take Peter’s advice (demand) on blowing his nose. And, washing his hands, of course.

On his way back down the stairs, he has to pause for another incoming sneeze, stifling two into his elbow; which unfortunately triggers a cough, and it doesn’t sound good.

“That sounds painful,” El’s voice sounds from the living room, and he finishes his descent to find her looking concerned, holding the tea she had promised him.

“It’s just a cough,” Neal shrugs, voice quiet. He sits back down upon the cough, thanking her for the tea and closing his eyes.

She frowns, sitting beside him and gently touching his forehead. He’s too tired to lean away, and it’s not like he can fake being well anymore anyway. “Neal, it sounds like a barking cough. That’s not just a cold, in my opinion.” El sighs, catching Peter’s just as concerned gaze.

“You know, we might have to visit the Doctor.” Peter adds, setting his papers down to join them.

Neal shakes his head, sinking down further into his little blanket pile. “I don’t want to go to the Doctor. They aren’t as nice as El.” He grumbles, resting his head against his pillows.

“Well, let’s wait and see how you are within the next hour or two. You can have Tylenol again in five hours, so we’ll keep an eye on you.” Elizabeth reassures, standing up and taking a seat next to her husband.

. . . The waiting game begins.

And, not even an hour later, Peter has a well bundled up Neal in the passenger seat of his car. “Better to go now, than to wait and have to take you to the ER.” He tells him, glancing at his pouty face.

“Yeah, yeah.” Neal mutters, taking a breath inward, and it sounds a little too wheezy for Peter’s liking.

With the traffic and bad weather, it takes them close to an hour to get there. Peter’s just thankful they left when they did, because rain has begun pouring even harder from the sky as they park up, and that wouldn’t have done them any favours to drive in. “C’mon, Buddy.” He gently nudges Neal, waking him up.

Helping him into the urgent care clinic, and settling him into a nearby chair. The place is almost full, which isn’t surprising. Winter is a harsh time for many people, and Neal certainly hasn’t managed to avoid becoming one of that crowd. Peter’s close to flashing his badge and making something up about why Neal should be seen first. . . But, he knows he can’t do that.

Sighing, slumping into the seat beside his CI. “Might be a long wait,” he tells him. “You need anything?”

“A gun.” Neal grumbles, leaning against Peter’s shoulder with no hesitation this time.

“Thought you weren’t a gun guy?” Peter chuckles in response, wrapping a careful arm around him.

#snz #snzblr #snz scenario #sickfic #n/eal ca/ffrey sickfic #w/hite co/llar #w/hite co/llar sickfic #he deserves so many hugs pls

[bluepinstripes]

2022 Year in Review

tagged by @seek--rest and @abc2411

1. number of stories posted to ao3:

5

2. word count this year:

30,191

3. fandoms i wrote for:

spider-man

4. pairings:

petermj

5. stories with the most:

kudos, bookmarks - just like a movie

comments, word count - when peter met mj (kind of cheating because its multichapter but whatever)

6. work i’m most proud of (and why):

to need somebody

i wrote this for spideychelle week in maybe 40 minutes, and I really like how it turned out. i’ve noticed that when i write petermj, a lot of it (most of it) is about how their relationship is Hard but they continue to choose each other, because that’s one of my favorite things about their relationship in the comics that i’ve read so far. i felt like this fic encapsulates that. this isn’t my favorite fic i wrote in 2022, but it is the first one where i started to get into that part of their relationship, so that’s why i’m proud of it. 

7. work i’m least proud of (and why):

i like and am happy with all the fic i’ve published! i wouldn’t publish it if Eye didn’t want to read it---hence why there’s a lot of half finished shit in my drafts. there’s some stuff on my ao3 that i don’t like that much anymore, but it’s from 2020 and i’d like to think it’s because i’ve grown as a writer since then. 

8. share or describe a favorite review you received:

This is one of my top 3 spideychelle comfort stories. I keep it pulled up incase I need a smile. I love this so much!!! It never fails to make me smile the entire time. Mj calling just to scold him while at the awards is great!

this was on my fic just like a movie, and it came like six months after i published it. it’s pretty much my favorite review i’ve ever gotten! i love that something i wrote became a comfort fic for someone. it meant the world to me fr.

9. a time when writing was really, really hard:

from basically january to june 2022 i did not write a single word because i was submitting grad school applications and then waiting to hear back, and it burned me out so horrifically i could barely answer texts and emails.

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

i did not expect to write “just like a movie” because while i love coming up with fun aus like that i struggle to translate it from my head to a word doc. like i usually stick with messaging a pal “okay but imagine if mj was at the oscars...” followed by a massive paragraph, and then i’m over it. so no one was more surprised than me that this one actually got published lol.

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:

But that was then, and this is now, and she’s tired.

“I need time,” she tells him, finally managing to look at his torso. The spider emblem on his chest stares back, mocking her.

MJ can feel his eyes on her, searching her. She wonders what he’ll find. “I can—I can give you time.”

She feels like she owes him an explanation, or at least a semblance of one. He doesn’t have to say anything for her to know that his mind is running at a million miles a minute right now, trying to pinpoint when he messed up, when it all changed. She doesn’t know how to tell him that he won’t find one, and that she doesn’t know either.

She loves him. She loves him just as much as she did when they were seventeen, loves him more, even, now that she knows him as an adult. She loves his smile and the way he smells and his overwhelming sense of responsibility, even when it drives her crazy. She loves the way he looks at her and the sound of his laugh when she tries to cook for them, and she loves the way he thinks.

She doesn’t know when it stopped being enough, or if it actually has. She doesn’t know if this is a passing feeling, if the noose that’s been slowly tightening around her lungs for weeks now will loosen when she doesn’t have to sit up at night waiting for him anymore, or if this is just what it means to have Peter Parker in her life. She doesn’t know if she’ll regret this as soon as he leaves, if she’ll call him back and tell him she didn’t mean it, that she loves him too. x

12. how did you grow as a writer this year:

not many people on here know this about me but i actually am in grad school for creative writing now! i absolutely love it and i feel like my teachers have helped with my writing a ton. a big thing i’ve changed in the last six months is i try not to use as many adjectives, and i use shorter sentences. it’s something i’m still working on. maybe you can’t see it in fic but it’s been more clear to me in original work i’ve written for school lol.

13. how do you hope to grow this year:

this has nothing to do with fic i am trying to get published this year, whether that’s a book deal or in a magazine. i’ve been submitting my work places so i guess we’ll see.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer:

in terms of fic tbh i feel like i wouldn’t have written hardly anything if seek didn’t hype me up about it. she’s always so excited about people’s ideas, and has always been super supportive :)

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

lmaooooo “just before you go” has a lot of personal stuff 

16. any wisdom you can share with other writers:

idk tbh i would say just write what you would want to read, and it’s a lot easier to write when you put yourself out there and talk to other writers in the fandom. i wouldn’t have published any spidey stuff (or know nearly as much---2022 was the year i started reading the comics and it was like all the stars aligned and the skies opened up)

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i am SO looking forward to finishing when peter met mj. would also love to finish and post the MITrio fic i’ve been working on since i saw bp2. also i have been Considering a petermj how to lose a guy in 10 days au

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

@watsonmj | @ogiroud and whoever else would like to participate i love to read these types of things.

#tagged in #my writing

[batmanrogues-scenarios]

Hello lovely!

I'm super excited to include you in my support rampage ❤

I've followed you for so long and now it's time for me to give back to you in the form of support. So grab some tissues just incase you get the feels and I hope this helps you out in some way ❤

It was either 2020 or 2021 I believe when I stumbled upon your tumblr and followed you. My internal calendar is all screwed up and so is my memory but I'm fairly certain I followed you before 2022... Infact maybe it was before 2020 but again I have no clue 😅

I'm always excited when you post a new fic and I've enjoyed watching you grow as a writer along the way through the years you've been doing fanfics.

I can't exactly remember if you've posted your own artwork before or if I'm thinking of somebody else (again I have a horrible memory 😅🥲) but if your banner is your artwork you're a really good artist too. Sure it isn't as "advanced" as some digital artists are these days but that doesn't effect the real quality of your artwork as they probably use different tools and programs to make theirs. Either way your artwork is unique to you and way better than what I can do with drawing people and even professional artists can always learn and grow more. And if anyone hates on your art I highly doubt they can do better than you as it's normally non-artists that hate on actual artists like you because they're jealous you can do better than them. Of course that doesn't mean people HAVE to like your art as everyone has different tastes but normally those people don't slam artists like haters do.

The same goes for your fics. Fic writers are usually supportive of eachother and usually little kids that have nothing better to do are the ones sending hate or it's just people who want to make people miserable.

So don't listen to the haters luv cause you're amazing as you are and even then everyone can learn and grow as both artists and writers.

Everyone can improve but that doesn't mean they aren't good at what they do. Never forget that.

It's been an honor watching you grow and gain a larger following, just remember to stay true to yourself, your morals, and your beliefs. Don't forget to take breaks when you don't feel very inspired and even if you feel inspired still take some breaks so you don't overwork yourself and burn out.

Here's to 2023 friend. And have a crown, you deserve it.

Thank you, you're very positive person and I can tell having you as a follower makes people happier.

I needed to hear that about my art, while thanks to the rest followers my confidence about it grew much more, I have a problem with art because I'm going to college with that and seeing other people's work can bring me down.

I will wear the crown with honor.

Although I'm interested where did you follow me because I created this blog in May 2022 so this part got me confused.

#anserw #stressyanddepressyfoodservice

[theseaumie]

Out of the Blue-

Hello again! I'm finally done with chapter five T.T Anyways Zeirra’s regretting all the choices she’s ever made that lead her up to this point lmao. I'm also re-editing older chapters to fix any spelling and grammar mistakes I find (Doing my best, I'm dyslexic LOL). Also, I guess warning for mentions of blood? Not a lot of blood, but just incase someone is sensitive to that. 

xoxox

----------------------------------

(Chapter 5- Discovered)

----------------------------------

As Zeirra heard the footsteps move further away, she popped the lid of the box open just enough for her to peak. She surveyed the room, seeing that it was empty except for what looked like food and supplied. There was an area that appeared to be a pantry, as well as a space to store booze. She looked up, desperately trying to find a better place to hide before spotting a rickety ladder that led up to what she assumed was a small loft.

Perfect.

she popped the rest of the lid off before slipping out of the box, careful to replace the lid. She tiptoed her way over to the ladder, attempting to climb as quickly and quietly as possible. Once she heard more footsteps heading in her direction, she panicked, dragging her injured wing with her as she raced to the top of the loft. She barely made it, rolling just out of sight as the pirates made their way back into the room.

"Sounds like the storms starting to get worse. We'd better hurry up in case they need us. " Killer carried in another load of large boxes, dropping his small tower on the floor before standing back up and stretching his muscular arms. He was now followed by Heat who grunted, placing his own load of boxes next to killers. "Yeah, sure. Let's get the food put up, and we can worry about the bottles later. Somebody's gotta write down all the new supplies, though. Who did we put in charge of that again? ". Heat looked over to Killer, who crossed his arms. "I think it was Wire, but I can do it for now." Heat Killer pulled out a small note pad as the two began opening boxes, pulling out the pen as he too account of how many different items the different box contained. He had a much bugger ledger he would write everything down in later, but for now, this would do. The two continued to sift through boxes, prying open new ones before Killer got to the box Zeirra had hidden in. He couldn't help but feel like something was slightly off, noticing how easily the lid came off. What was most interesting however, was that a single feather lay at the bottom of the box. Killer paused momentarily before crouching down and picking the box up. It now seemed to be significantly lighter than it was before.

Something was very off.

Heat seemed to notice Killers behavior, stopping what he was doing before turning to face his direction. "What's up? You act like you're looking for something?". Killer snapped back to reality, setting the box down as he shook his head.

"...it's nothing Heat". Heat raised an eyebrow before nodding and turning his attention back to the task at hand. Something was definitely up, but he wouldn't force Killer to talk if he didn't want to. If it were important, he would tell him.

Zeirra watched from her position on the loft, her anxiety consuming her as she saw Killer pick up the box.

He knows.

Her face was white as she tried to observe the two as quietly as possible. She watched as Heat finished his boxes, heading for the exit of the room, while Killer stayed behind. He told Heat he would follow in just a moment, after he finish up one last task, sending his fellow crew mate off towards the deck. As Killer stood alone in the room, he looked around, feeling as if something had been off.

"Strange...".

He looked around, seeing the latter, and follow it up to the small loft. Zeirra hid her face before he saw her, praying that he wouldn't try to climb up and confirm his suspicions. Killers footsteps did get closer, and she could hear the sound of his breathing before a large wave hit the side of the ship. Killer was nearly knocked over, leaning against the wall, as many of the boxes and barrels tumbled across the floor. Loud thunderous footsteps could be heard coming down the hall, as Killer turned around, finding heat nearly out of breathe.

"Killer we need you on deck now! Some men went overboard after the wave hit, and Kids at the helm again!". Killer nodded, quickly running out of the room and up the stairs to the deck. The sea was terrifying as huge waves continued to crash into the Hull making it difficult to even stand. Kid manned the helm, Laughing manically as he struggled to hold it in place. Even in the face of a raging storm, he would never back down. Killer watched, shaking his head as he ran over, grabbing one of the ropes to help pull his crewmates out of the sea. Once all of the men where safely back on the boat, he turned in Kids direction running over quickly.

Meanwhile, Zeirra was struggling to keep herself from getting sick as the boat swayed violently. She felt herself go airborne, being thrown against the wall of the small loft. Initially, she thought the wave had been the universe finally giving her one for the bullshit it had already put her through.

Oh how wrong she had been.

She grunted in pain, laying on the dirty wood as her wing stretched out. There was no doubt in her mind now that it was broken, or at least torn considering she could no longer move it. She was in so much pain she couldn't even comprehend how screwed this situation had made her. At this point, she contemplated whether or not to just accept her fate, or just jump in the ocean at the next available opportunity. "Please, just let this storm end already..." she whimper, holding onto whatever she could as the boat continued to move. Just as she finished her silent prayer, another large wave rocked the ship, throwing her from her hiding spot and onto the floorboard bellow. Her head hit first, causing her vision to go blurry. She could feel a warm liquid drip down her face, attempting to wipe it off her before looking down at her hand. Once she could make out what she was looking at her breath caught in her throat, and her face went white. Her hand was covered in blood. Zeirra panicked shakily running her hand up her head before she felt the sting from a large cut. She attempted to get up, but the blood loss, and the injury seemed to strip her of her strength. All she could hear was the ringing in her ears as her head throbbed. She gave up her struggle, her shaking arms crumbling under her weight as she collapsed back onto the dusty floorboards. The last thing she saw before her vision went black, was a blurry figure of a large man standing in the entry way of the supplies room.

The large figure made its way to her, looming over her helpless form with a terrifying smirk on his face. She could hear a familiar laugh, the smirk only growing larger as the looming figure got closer.

"Well, well, well....Looks like we've got a little stowaway. I was wondering were the fuck you went".

#one piece #one piece x oc #one piece fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #eustass kid #slightly cursed

[aliyahaldaus]

Work Smart, Not Hard - The Sweet Spot

3 Top Tips To Enhance Work Ethic & Genuine Fulfilment

Sound daunting doesn’t it? ‘Work smart not hard’ 

Well, not for us; probably for the people you’re working for. 

To my clients...welcome to my not-so-secret, secret.

To my readers, prepare to be shown a way of working that will not only enhance your results, but will help you actually enjoy what you’re doing. 

That’s the goal right? To wake up excited for your day.

Anyways, you’re welcome in advance.

Disclaimer: I’m well aware that not everyone has the luxury to up and leave their jobs to live their dreams. But, that is not to say that you should disregard your goals, boundaries and beliefs. Because if you do, you’ll never leave the rat race. 

The First Tip

I mean, not to state the obvious, but you should probably do something you enjoy...

“I don’t know what I enjoy!”

You naturally enjoy what you’re good at.

I like maths. Not because the square root of 81 is the most exciting thing in the world. But because it makes sense to me, and getting the answer right gives me fulfilment that I don’t feel elsewhere. 

The answer is 9 incase you’re trying to figure it out, focus.

So, you find out what you’re at. 

“I’m not good at anything” 

Experiment. You will never know if you don’t try. 

That project you’ve been putting off for God knows how long? Start it. 

That hobby that’s been on your to do list for a gazillion years. Try it out. 

In the words of Drake, you only live once (YOLO). 

Somebody definitely said it before him but I mean...why would I turn down the opportunity to quote Drake? 

Adopt the YOLO lifestyle and try anything and everything.

Oh and, it’s never too late to start. Morgan Freeman starred in his first movie at 43. Yep, Mr Morgan Freeman.

Tip Number Two

Assuming you’ve conquered numero uno, we now come to a mindset change.

Whatever you’ve been taught about work, school, forget it.

How does that saying go? All work, no play. Yeah, f*** that noise. 

Despite what we’ve been taught, work can actually be fun? I know right, who knew!

You have to understand some things about yourself. Your boundaries, your goals and your beliefs.

Your boundaries: “I am not willing to work a 9-5 because I work better from 4-12.”

So what positions can you now put yourself in to work those hours?

People are working from 12am-3am and getting the same amount of work done as the 9-5ivers because that is their personal optimal. If the business you’re working for doesn’t support that boundary, find one that does. Or better yet, create one!

Your goals: “I want location freedom and an extra £1000 a month by the end of 2023″

I know location freedom sounds like a mystery. But after COVID-19, if you haven’t started your own business, then the freedom of working remotely has never been easier. Thus, location freedom has become a very realistic option. 

(I hate that word by the way, you won’t hear it much in this blog)

Despite popular belief, you can make more than an extra £1000 a month. Like way more.

I think everyones aim, if you’re not already doing what you’re destined to do, should be to get out of what you’re doing by exploring your side hustles and learning new skills. An extra £1000 is extremely easy to make, that could be an extra 2 hours work a week after signing a client. That could be profit from selling a high ticket product or service. Or even social media, if that’s your thing.

Your Beliefs: “I believe that my skill set is worth more than what it’s being valued at in my current role”

The longer you fight your beliefs, the easier it will be for other people to infiltrate them. 

I’m going to need you all to remember that you are replaceable in any role at a company. There are probably 100′s of people with your degree, with your experience, with your skills lining up for your job. 

My advice? Let them have it.

Wherever you are replaceable, you aren’t going to be valued the way you should be. Not to mention companies nowadays would rather rehire than retrain. 

Very weird, not my cup of tea.

Moral of the story, go where you’re loved and valued.

That’s general life advice too.

Tip Number Three

OK. So you like what you do, and you’re respecting all of your boundaries, goals and beliefs.

Now? Have fun with it!

As humans, we are prone to believing that the grass is greener on the other side. 

But you’re here to learn that It’s actually greener where you water it. AKA, right here.

Picture this: now you’re working smart, your work has become easy, almost natural and you put your all into it. 

The quality of your work has improved immensely as a result. It’s no longer a chore, you wake up happy, fresh. 

What people fail to mention is, It’s not always going to feel perfect. But we need to appreciate how far we’ve come and learn how to enjoy where we are right now. You’ll never value the sunshine without a little rain.

Now, go kick some can. I’ll see you when I see you.

[rileychaser]

Sorry to hear you got sick! Glad you're back on the mend. I can't wait till we get to the juicy parts in part 2. I noticed the couples tag of Tobin/Sofia... I thought for a second it would have been with Kelley, but it looks like she's gonna be more of a wingman of sorts? I can't wait to see how this develops. I'm kinda torn about Chris being with somebody else when they're end game, but I guess it's important for them to have other relationships first before they get together. Anyways, I can't wait to see what happens at the bar!

You know, at first I thought about it being Kelley, but as I outlined (talking to my wife nonstop about what I think should happen) I realized that Tobin needed a buddy. Besides, I think they give off buddy-vibes with each other. I debated on the separate relationships for Chris and Tobin, but in the end they needed to grow separately for them to come together in a way that made sense. Chris didn't need to "heal" Tobin, Tobin needed to heal herself. Chris needed an opportunity to see someone else, incase this whole Tobin thing was only a fluke, which, with how Tobin left, was safe to assume they wouldn't get together. It all gets explained, I promise!

[fezcosbluntroller]

Go to - Platonic ash x reader

Major Season 2 Episode 8 spoilers!! Please do not read if you haven't watched it

Summary: The night of Lexi's play, After a fight between you and Fezco you hadn't seen or spoke to him in almost two months, unknown to you (because you attended the play) during the raid instead of Ash not doing what Fez says he runs to your place, what can he say you're both of their go to

warnings: Mentions of murder, fluff, you taking care of ashtray

"You sat in the theater, watching in awe as you watched your best friend finally accomplish she's always wanted, unknown that you wouldn't be able to apologize to your ex boyfriend and try to fix things for another five years.

Faye could hear the drill whirring on the outside of the door, Fez glanced at the door before kissing Ashtray's head "Just go! Go Ash go and I'll fuckin call you when I got shit figured out" Fez mumbled to him wiping his face clean of tears, Custard's dead body sitting on the couch, Ash knew he fucked up this time, it wasn't like mouse, this wasn'y a simple hide the body and forget about it, somebody was going down, and Ash knew he had to be the one who took the fall.

"Ash! Go! We both can't fuckin go down for this! Fuckin go! f-..find Y/n! She'll make sure you're fuckin good!" He whisper yelled so the swat wouldn't hear where one of their suspects were going. Ash stared at his brother, glaring before running out through the back door dodging the police, his lungs burnt with how fast he was running, tears streamed down his face as he heard swat screaming along with his brother. He held back a sob bursting through your basement door, the door you left unlocked incase Fez or Ash needed a place to go while you were gone.

When you arrived home it was late, Rue saying her goodbyes from the sidewalk, Ashtray was hiding, incase swat just tried to come by and search, Your footsteps echoed through the dark empty house, but you could feel it, somebody was here, watching you. "Hello?.." You called before smacking your forehead "This is how basic bitches die in movies, alright who the fuck is in my damn house?!" You yelled hearing your basement door open, turning around quickly you aimmed your knife at the door seeing Ashtray, bloody nose, and dried tears, something happened. You rushed over dropping the knife to the ground, cupping Ashtray's cheek looking over him for any other injuries. "Ash, what happened are you okay?..Where's fez?..Ash fucking talk to me" You snapped, you didn't mean to get rude, but his silence and blank stares scared you. "Custard.." Ash mumbled "Fuckin rat...I..I killed him?...a-and we got raided.." After those words you tuned out Ash, piecing together what was happening, if Ash was at your house it only meant one thing, Fez was gone.

Once Ashtray noticed your glossy eyes he stopped talking and hugged you "Tell me he's gonna be okay, Ash....please?.." You whispered trying to keep your voice strong, you needed to be the one reassuring Ash, not the other way around "He'll be okay...He's a fuckin g, y/n/n..Ain't nothing gonna take him down..he said he'd call you once he got settled wherever he was going." Ash said loud enough for you to hear. It felt like you stood there hugging ash for hours, in reality it was only about 45 minutes, but you both needed it, Fez was a huge person in both of your lives.

Whenever you two finally did leave the hug Ash went to the kitchen with you, watching you start to cook dinner for him "So...You're not mad..? i-it was my fault Fez went down" He said, his voice barely above a whisper but you could still hear the shakiness of it "No..I don't think it's your fault...You did what you thought was right, Ash...You were protecting your brother..and he was protecting you" You said sternly starting to make pasta for him, he stayed quiet playing with the placemats that were on your kitchen island. You finished the pasta rather quickly, faster than normal, but it still tasted amazing, you and Ash sat in your living room watching old movies that you had. You didn't realize how late you had stayed up until Ash's alarm startled you and made you take in that the sun was rising.

"Ash...You've got school bubs.." You whispered rubbing his back, him using your side and arm as a pillow "Fuck school" You heard him mumble into the throw blanket you had thrown over him earlier. "Nah uh, At least go half day?" You whispered to him watching him sit up "Then I will pick you up and...buy you more smoke if you want?" You bribed raising your eyebrows at him "Fine...be there at 12.." He grumbled standing up to stretch "You have extra clothes upstairs" You smiled at him, there was both fez's clothes and Ash's clothes upstairs, you all three agreed if there was an emergency they'd come over to your house, even after you and Fez split he still knew your house was welcome to him and his younger brother. You got up making Ash breakfast in the mean time while he got ready for school.

Setting the cereal and toast down at the table you grabbed your phone glancing at it, still no call from Fez.

"Shit you didn't have to make me food, y/n" Ash's voice broke you out of your trance, how long were you staring at your phone? "Of course I did, Ash...Just cause...your brother and I aren't on good terms doesn't mean I love you any different, you're like my little baby" You smiled as Ash grimaced, he ate while you were quick to get ready, planning on going up to the police station to see if Fez made bond and how much it'd even be. "You ready ash!?" You yelled from your front door, hearing soft footsteps coming closer to you, Ashtray walking past and out to your car.

The drive was quiet, a comfortable quiet, until you pulled up to the school "You gonna come get me if Fez calls right?..Or fuckin...add me to the call or some shit" Ash asked looking at you, if it wasn't so obvious you wouldn't be able to see the scared little boy Ash truly was, just wanting his big brother back. "of course ash..Same goes for you..we're in this together" You said raising your fist letting his fist bump you before he opened the door "Hey. I love you Ash, call me if you need or want anything" You said giving him a soft smile, you had to remind yourself constantly, despite how he acted Ash was just a kid, not even old enough to legally work or drive yet. "I will." He said shutting the door looking at you for a moment before walking away, giving you a soft wave goodbye "Ash! I said i loved you!" You whined looking at him, there was no way in hell you were gonna let him think he can act like a tough guy with no feelings. "I love you too mom!" He yelled sarcastically, but the smile on his face when he turned around and flipped you off showed he meant it, you weren't gonna lie though, being called mom made your heart flip. Now that you were done taking care of Ash for a moment it was now time to take care of Fez and bring him home.

-

soooo? Part two of when you reconnect with Fez or leave this here?

#fezco euphoria #fezco x reader #fez x reader #ashtray euphoria #euphoria #euphoria fez #platonic ashtray x reader

[goldenempyrean]

Burning Up - Woah, that's one high fever. Please with sick Lizzie or Scarlett

Ooh! I haven't written a sick Lizzie fic yet, hopefully, this lives up! Tysm Anon for the request! Also please send in some more requests, I have so much fun doing them. Please also let me know what you think of this fic too! :)

Summary: Being both girlfriends and colleagues had its advantages, but when Lizzie starts lying about her health something was bound to go wrong...

Note! Excuse any spelling/grammar errors as usual ;)

Warnings: Fainting, (Idk if this needs a warning but just incase!)

Wordcount:1,136

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"Hey Y/N." Your director spoke happily "Ready for another productive day?"

"Yep!" You answered cheerily, as you pulled out your script to re-familiarise yourself with the lines. You knew them off by heart already but it wouldn't hurt just to remind yourself. "Have you seen Lizzie anywhere? She left early this morning." You asked as you skimmed over your next scene.  

Your director thought for a moment before replying, "I haven't unfortunately, she can't be far though." He punctuated his sentence with a slight shrug as you hopped from your seat, stating you were going to find her.

As you wandered around the set, your thoughts felt like they were racing around your mind at 90m/ph. It wasn't often Lizzie woke up before you, never mind went to set by herself. Yet somehow, she had managed to do both before sneaking out of your shared trailer without waking you. It didn't take you long to check around the rest of the set, you even checked the room where the extras usually sat in. How strange. By pure chance, your eyes glanced at the small room marked 'Female Actor Bathroom'. Huh. Well, it wouldn't hurt to check right?  

Pushing open the door you were shocked to see Lizzie stood over the sink, her hands on the counter and her head looking down towards the basin. "Lizzie?" She jumped a little at the sudden sound of your voice and she instantly changed her slouched appearance to one of alertness, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"Woah Y/N. You scared me for a moment there." There was something off about her voice. It lacked her usual energetic attitude; she had the type of voice which could instantly motivate somebody and brighten their day. However today was different, she sounded tired, even somewhat annoyed.

You weren't sure whether to verbally question her unusual behaviour, usually, whenever Lizzie was having a bad day, she would tell you. Ultimately you decided not to say anything as you held out your hand to her, "Sorry about that. I've been looking for you all day, you all ready to shoot?"

She seemed to almost hesitate for a moment before accepting your outstretched hand. You did note the strange clamminess of her hand however. But it was a hot day, people are bound to sweat, right? On your journey to the main set, you noticed the slight sniffling coming from the woman on your left.  

"You, okay?" You queried her, stopping in your tracks and pulling your hand away from hers.  

She stopped beside you, reaching back out for your hand before responding, "I'm fine. What scene are we shooting next by the way?" She responded, hastily changing the subject.

“I'm serious-” You began but stopped as you observed your girlfriend, who had begun swaying slightly.

“S-Spinning.” She had managed to splutter out before falling numbly against you. You almost went into shock as she fell against you, supporting her weight in your arms, you yelled out in a fury for somebody to help.

Hearing your cries, one of your managers came running over before calling for a medic on her radio. Being a high-budget production, it didn’t take long for two medics to come rushing over to where you held her upper body in your arms. You had started to recite what had happened in the last few minutes when a slurred murmur came from the woman in your arms.

“W-woah.” Her eyes fluttered open slowly as Lizzie came round.

“Jesus Christ.” You sighed in relief. “You scared the shit out of me Liz.”

Both yourself and Lizzie spoke to the medics for the next 10 minutes, Lizzie was forced to open up about how she felt and you listened intently as she listed the symptoms she was experiencing. Why hadn't she told you. Both medics spoke for a moment before stating that Lizzie probably just had a bad cold and she had fainted from exhaustion and dehydration. She had been ordered to take a week from work and drink plenty of fluids.  

By this point your executive producer had given you the greenlight to also take this time off. You were given the role of nursing your girlfriend back to full health. After a further 15 minutes you were both given the all-clear to make your way back to your shared trailer. You briefly thanked the medics and other staff before carefully helping Lizzie off the floor and the pair of you made your way out the building.

You held tightly onto Lizzie as you both walked slowly back to your trailer, slightly out of fear she would stumble and hurt herself. Once out of earshot of your crew, you questioned her.

“Why didn’t you tell me darling? You can tell me anything, I promise.” Your words were soaked with concern for her well-being.

Lizzie leant her head against your shoulder, “I didn’t want to worry you sweetie. I didn’t think it would get this bad.” She spoke honestly as you helped her up the steps to your trailer.  

You assisted her to the bed before rushing off to grab a cool bottle of water from the small fridge at the opposite side of your accommodation. When you returned you saw Lizzie curled atop of the duvet. You suddenly felt sorry for her as you observed her exhausted body led limply on the bed. 

  Sitting down next to her you offered out the water, “You should try to drink this.”   A small mumble came in reply, prompting you to gently lay your hand across her forehead... Fuck.

“Jeez Elizabeth.”

The mention of her full name caused Lizzies head to look up at you through her feverish eyes.  

“You're really burning up.” You continued, almost talking to yourself in some futile attempt to ward off the growing worry forming inside your chest. Thinking quickly, you swiftly swiped a towel from under the sink in your bathroom, running it under the tap. You wringed it out carefully, making sure to keep some of the cold water inside. Sitting back down aside your girlfriend you gently rested the towel across her head, a small sigh of relief leaving her body. You saw her once-tense shoulders begin to relax as she finally closed her eyes.

  “Y/N?”

“Get some sleep honey.” You shushed her quietly, pulling a small blanket over her, not wanting to risk overheating her by using the thick duvet.

“Y/N?” Lizzie repeated again, reopening her hazy eyes to stare up at you.

“Yes?”

“Thanks for taking care of me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I didn’t feel good.”

You kissed her head softly and whispered, “Its ok, I'm not mad. I just want to look after you. Now seriously, get some sleep sweetheart. I’ll be here for you when you wake up.”

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#marvel sickfic #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen sickfic #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen whump #lizzie olsen sickfic #lizzie olsen whump #lizzie olsen x reader #marvel whump #femreader #ok im done tagging :p #sickfic #goldenempyrean

[fics-n-stuff]

Deep Breaths

For @inquistitorebony, see request here

Pairing: Kaz Brekker × Reader

Summary: Y/N's anxiety gets the best of them on a job, but thankfully Kaz knows how to handle it.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Panic attacks, brief violence, fake blood, explosions

A/N: Ahh I'm so sorry this took me so long to write!! I had writer's block and I thought I was getting out of my slump but then it just got so much worse again. I had to try so hard to get this finished and I genuinely can't tell if it's good or not, so I really hope you enjoy it 🤞🏽❤

You knew the plan. At least, you thought you knew the plan. You could never be sure with Kaz. Regardless, you were in place where he’d told you to be, weapons concealed in your outfit and Jesper at your side.

“This is crazy. You realise this is crazy, right?” You said, peering around the corner of the alley to get a view of the bridge and the crowds of locals and tourists alike.

“Everything we do is crazy.” Jesper replied with a smirk. “That’s what makes it fun.”

Sometimes you had to wonder how you ended up here, working for Kaz Brekker of all people. The answer to that question was that Jesper had dragged you into it, but then came the question of how the hell you and Jesper had become friends in the first place. That answer was more complicated.

The university of Ketterdam was where your parents had sent you to keep you out of trouble, to get an education so that you could do something useful and conventional with your life. Unfortunately for them, you only succeeded in getting yourself into trouble. Jesper had been the root of that. He was the one who had encouraged you to join him and a group of students on that first night out in East Stave.

You’d managed to stay in university longer than him, but the pull of adventure that the Barrel offered eventually got the better of you. When Jesper fell in deep with the gambling halls and turned to Kaz and the Dregs, you had followed after him for no reason other than the thrill. Which was strange, considering the immense anxiety that you carried through life.

Jesper had questioned it at the time, and sometimes continued to question you on it, but you couldn’t explain it to him. The type of thrill that your exploits with the Dregs provided wasn’t the type that triggered your anxiety, generally speaking. Talking to people was your weak point, fighting or stealing from them was usually fine.

Kaz had been skeptical about you at first, but Jesper was adamant that he should bring you onboard. It wasn’t long before he came to see that you certainly had your uses and you worked in a team, especially with Jesper at your side. He never mentioned your anxiety, but nothing slipped past Kaz. He definitely knew even before he had witnessed the full effect of it, and you had noticed long ago how he tended to keep you off of jobs that might cause you to panic.

“I see the signal from Nina.” Jesper said, eyes on a flash of light coming from a window up the street. “Get ready.”

“Born ready.” You smirked.

“I’ve been rubbing off on you. I’m not sure I like what I’ve created.” He commented, and you rolled your eyes.

“Distraction time, Jes.” You said, bursting a capsule of fake blood between your teeth and slamming another one against you chest before stumbling out of the alleyway. Your nice, white shirt now had a fresh red stain, blood running down you chin, and you looked just like a well-to-do tourist who had run into the wrong crowd.

“Help!” You heard Jesper shout in Zemini right behind you, and eyes began to turn in your direction. “We’ve been attacked!”

“Somebody get help!” You followed up in a fake Zemini accent, which Jesper had earlier remarked upon as being scarily accurate. It was right then that the stadwatch patrol that you had been sent out to distract in the first place rounded the corner. “Guards! Help!”

The stadwatch turned to the source of the commotion, and rushed immediately over to you. That was something that they wouldn’t do if you were dressed in your regular Barrel attire.

“In Ghezen's name, what happened?” One of them exclaimed. Jesper began rambling in Zemini, doing a very good job of acting frantic with his hand on the tailored bruises around his eye and over his cheek. You caught a glimpse of Kaz emerging out of the next street down, completely unnoticed thanks to your distraction.

“Do you speak Kerch?” A guard asked you after being unable to get anything helpful out of Jesper.

“Yes, yes I speak Kerch.” You answered, straining your voice as if you were in pain. “They came out of nowhere, attacked us and stole our things.”

The guard reached out to move your shirt, and you let out a scream of pain to deter him. It worked and he jumped back, eyes wide and afraid.

“We need to get you to a medik.” He said quickly, and you nodded. You turned to Jesper and recited the Zemini sentence that you had practiced all morning, just incase an onlooker happened to actually be Zemini.

“Give me some help, I can't walk like this.” You said. He nodded, shaking his arm out of the grip of the other stadwatch guard and reaching out to pick you up. Practically effortless with all that farmer’s strength.

“Alright, follow us.” The guard said, but as he took the first step there was a deafening bang and a huge plume of smoke from the street around the corner.

Perfect timing, Wylan.

Panic overtook the street, the stadwatch guards turning their attention from you to the smoke rising over the buildings. They started shouting to the people around, trying to keep them calm.

Another blast sounded, and now people were running. Jesper set you down, and you patted over the pistol concealed in your jacket just in case.

“Let’s get moving.” Jesper said, as quietly as he could for you to still hear him over the commotion. You nodded, your heart beating fast as people stormed past you. You didn’t like big crowds, and there were more people here than it had initially appeared. There was a handkerchief in your pocket, and you took it out and wiped the fake blood off of your face.

The two of you began following the flow of the crowd, when suddenly there was a flash of light and a cloud of dust flew towards you as another blast went off up ahead.

That wasn’t part of the plan.

Your heart jumped and your breathing immediately quickened as the people who had been running that way now pressed back towards you. Jesper grabbed your arm, seeing the panic that was beginning to fill your eyes. The explosions weren’t creating any damage, just a loud bang and a lot of smoke, but these people didn’t know that and they wanted to get as far from them as possible as fast as possible.

“We’ll go around.” Jesper said, tugging on your arm to pull you after him as he made a beeline for the nearest alleyway.

Your heart was pounding in your ears as you let Jesper drag you through the alley onto the next street across, which was just as crowded with panicked people. He pulled you along behind him as he wove through the crowd towards the rendezvous point, your mind spinning and your chest tight. You didn’t even realise that you were there until he pushed you back against a wall and moved you to sit down on the ground.

“Hey, Y/N, look at me.” He said, a firm hand on your shoulder. “Deep breaths, okay?” He turned to look over his shoulder at Kaz and Wylan. “What happened? Why was there a third explosion?”

“Things didn’t go exactly according to plan.” Kaz replied. “We had to prolong the distraction to get away.”

“I always keep extra equipment on me; I gave it to Inej and told her to set it off further up from the bridge if we ran into trouble. It was the best option we had.” Wylan added.

“Right, well, tell that to Y/N's anxiety.” Jesper huffed.

“Jesper, you and Wylan have to keep going.” Kaz said.

“What? Look at Y/N, I’m not leaving-"

“Now, Jesper, or all of this has been for nothing.”

“But Y/N was supposed to come with us.” Wylan fretted.

“You’ll make it work. Now go, I’ll deal with Y/N.”

“This is my best friend, Kaz.” Jesper said, leaving your side to approach Kaz, practically squaring up to him. “This isn’t a problem you can solve with planning and scheming, this is a serious human issue and you don’t have a great record with those.”

“I have it handled, Jesper.” Kaz responded firmly.

“Go, Jesper.” You spoke up, elbows rested on drawn up knees, your chest rising and falling heavily. You nodded. “I’ll be fine.” He looked at you, concern on his face, but eventually sighed and nodded back.

“Alright.” He said, stepping back over and lightly patting your head comfortingly. “Come on, merchling.”

Jesper and Wylan moved on to the next step of the plan, leaving you and Kaz alone. He took a seat on the floor against the wall opposite you in the small space, his bad leg outstretched in front of him and his cane resting across his lap. You looked at him, the edges of your vision still blurry.

“I apologise for not warning you ahead of time.” He said after a moment. “I should have accounted for the fact that such a surprise would have a negative impact on you.”

Kaz was generally cold – unaffectionate and pragmatic – but you had a suspicion that he’d always secretly had a soft spot for you. He was considerate of your feelings; he was even almost nice to you when nobody else was around. You quite liked the Kaz that you got to see. It was different to the Kaz that Jesper always complained about.

“What could have possibly given the impression that I was impacted negatively?” You managed to joke, but you choked on your laugh as your body desperately tried to fill your lungs.

“Hey, look at me.” Kaz said before you could start hyperventilating again. “Put your knees down, open up your chest.” You complied, and your body thanked you for the action as some of the strain in your chest alleviated.

“Sometimes I wonder why the hell I put myself in these situations.” You panted.

“I did warn you against it, but you seemed determined to follow in Jesper's footsteps.” He replied. “You’ve made a pretty good go of it regardless. Hold your breath for a second, you’re still breathing too fast.”

You followed the instruction, drawing a deep breath and holding it in your chest for a few seconds, and when you let it out your breathing was slower.

“This is stupid.” You muttered. “I should be over this by now, it’s pathetic.”

“No it’s not.” Kaz said plainly. “It’s something you’ve experienced for a long time, it’s not just going to go away.”

“No one else let’s their problems get in the way on a job.”

“That’s not true, it just happens differently. You still have some fake blood on your face by the way.” It would be dry by now, no point trying to wipe it off with a handkerchief, so you simply shrugged.

“What does that mean, ‘it happens differently’?”

“If you pay close attention you’ll notice.” He answered vaguely. “Though, I know you’re very aware of the hurdle that the gambling halls pose to Jesper. That’s caused some trouble on jobs in the past.” You chuckled lightly, nodding in agreement.

You sat in silence for a while, focused on evening out your breathing. Kaz wasn’t good at dealing with emotions so you would expect that he wouldn’t be very good at dealing with your panic attacks, but actually his straightforward approach was pretty effective. Maybe his voice was just so commanding that even your anxiety couldn’t help but do what he said.

Generally, Kaz acted like the panic attack wasn’t happening. Just like today, other than to give you an instruction to calm you down he would just talk to you like he normally would. It was usually helpful, a good distraction or something like that.

There was one time, however, that Kaz had been more worried about you than you had thought was possible. It hadn’t been on a job, just a normal night at the Crow Club. You had been trying to drag Jesper away from the cards table when a fight had broken out. Being a member of the Dregs, and so technically a sort-of employee of the gambling hall, you had stepped in to try and break it up.

You weren’t intimidated by the fact that one of the men was at least twice your size, you had held your own against that before, and knowing that there was security that would step in soon had you assured that all would be fine. But when you placed a hand on one of the men’s shoulder – not the big guy, one of the other men in the fight – to try and stop him from going towards the man he had decided was his enemy, he had turned on you with such speed that you had no chance to defend yourself before his hand closed around your neck.

Your memory was a little spotty from that point on. You remembered being slammed against a wall, maybe even lifted off the ground. Jesper drew his gun, and you’re sure that if shooting customers wasn’t so frowned upon that he wouldn’t have hesitated to fire.

It didn’t last long. His outburst had effectively ended the fight that had been taking place and turned the attention of every assisting party to you. The man holding you had been taken down by a few swift hits from the hulking Dregs member that Kaz liked to have as security, and by that point Dirtyhands himself had been drawn out of his little office in the back by the commotion.

To hear Jesper tell it, it was like your body hadn’t realised that your airway was no longer being compressed and you just weren’t really breathing. Kaz had instructed Jesper and the security guard to get you up and into the back office before demanding an explanation from the person closest to him.

You didn’t see Kaz break the man’s hand with his cane, but you remember hearing the scream.

Once it was just you, Kaz and Jesper in the office, Kaz’s demeanor changed instantly. Not that you were really cognizant enough to notice right away, but Jesper wouldn’t shut up about it for a little while. What had seemed, while out on the floor of the gambling hall, just to be a Barrel boss squashing a disruption to his business and doling out payback on behalf of a friend turned into seething rage, which in turn became a constant look of concern as he intently watched Jesper coax you to start breathing properly.

Jesper had business to attend to later that night, so after a while it was just you and Kaz sat in the office. He fetched you a glass of water and sat with you until you were feeling better, never taking his eyes off of you. You had told him about your anxiety, but until then he had never seen it in full effect.

Since that day he had been more in tune with that part of you, learning how to tell when you were having a bad day and remembering what kinds if things made you panic. If he caught you when your anxiety was spiking he would stay and just talk to you. It was nice of him.

“Sit up straight.” Kaz said, and you were snapped out of your thoughts when you felt the tip of his cane pressing gently against your shoulder. You realised how far you had curled in on yourself and leaned back against the wall. Kaz had drilled it into your head that opening up your posture would help you breathe better, but sometimes you needed reminding anyway. “How are feeling?”

“Better.” You mumbled with a slight nod.

“How are the edges of your vision? Still fuzzy?”

“A tiny bit.” You answered, trying not to smile at the fact that he remembered how your vision went fuzzy when you had a panic attack. “If I ask you a question, will you answer me honestly?”

“Sure.”

“Why do you bother with me?” The question had been weighing on your mind for a long time, but in the past few weeks it had felt like it had been pressing for you to actually ask. You thought that Kaz liked you, but at the same you couldn’t think of a reason for that to be true.

“What do you mean by that?” Kaz asked, his head tilting a minuscule amount and his brow furrowing ever so slightly in curiosity.

“I mean, why do you keep me around? Why do you bring me on jobs? Why do you bother learning how to take care of me? Maybe at first it was for Jesper's sake but surely that can’t be the case now, so why?”

Kaz watched you for a moment, folded his hands in his lap and cleared his throat.

“You’re a valuable member of the team.” He answered matter-of-factly. “You work well with others, you’re a fast learner, you seem to genuinely enjoy being a member of the Dregs most of the time. As for why I’ve learned to take care of you, well, what kind of a leader would I be if I didn’t? You know me, I like to know everything that there possibly is to know when it comes to my business and my team.”

“Right.” You nodded. “That makes sense.”

“You don’t like that answer.”

“What?”

“I know you well enough to know what your face does when you’re unhappy.”

“I’m not unhappy.”

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N. What is it that you wanted me to say?” His question made you feel suddenly quite embarrassed, and you averted you eyes with a shrug.

“I don’t know, I guess I just thought that maybe you actually liked me. You know, as a friend.” You mumbled. You glanced back at Kaz long enough to see the corner of his mouth twitch upwards.

“If I told you that I liked you, would it make you feel better?” He asked. He wasn’t being sarcastic or mocking you, but you still became even more embarrassed.

“Forget about it, it doesn’t matter. I’m feeling much better now so we should probably start moving-"

“Y/N.” Kaz interrupted, and you froze mid-motion of standing up. “I do like you, but I don’t have friends.”

He moved to stand up, and you finished getting to your feet. You watched him use his cane as leverage to get up off the floor, and if it had been anyone else but Kaz you would have offered a hand to help him up.

“You do too have friends.” You replied with a tiny smile. “You, Jesper and Inej are a trio of best friends if I’ve ever seen one.”

“I thought Jesper was your best friend.”

“People can have more than one best friend, Kaz.”

“The more friends you have, the more leverage your enemies have against you. That’s why I don’t have any.” He stated, taking the first step. You assumed that you would be heading to where he was supposed to meet Nina and Matthias. He was late – just how late you weren’t sure, the passage of time alluded you during panic attacks – but they probably weren’t all too worried.

“I think you just tell yourself that we’re not your friends so that you feel better about having a weak spot.” You said, teasing slightly. “Do you like me as much as you like Jesper?”

“I like you more than Jesper. You’re less of a thorn in my side.”

“Aw, Kaz! That’s so sweet.” You smiled. He scoffed.

“I take it you’re feeling better?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good.”

“Can I ask you one more question?” You inquired, and Kaz sighed before humming an agreement. “Do you maybe like me for a different reason than that I’m less annoying than Jesper?”

There was a beat of silence, and Kaz inhaled.

“I enjoy having you around.” He answered vaguely, but you could see in his eyes in the sidelong look that he gave you that it was deeper than that. You smiled, satisfied and not needing to push.

“Good. Me too.” You muttered, and the two of you continued walking, side by side.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker oneshot #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #six of crows fanfic #jesper fahey #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz x y/n #dirtyhands #bastard of the barrel #grishaverse #leigh bardugo

[teacupcollector]

The Undead Kind of Love: Part 1

Main Masterlist Series Masterlist

Pairing: Vampire Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: When Y/N’s art project lands her in Romania she is met with very peculiar circumstances. Such as a weird old man speaking mythical nonsense, murders of both people and animals, an oncoming threat to her life, as well as her mysterious yet very hot next door neighbor with a weird obsession with beetroot juice.

You came to the Romanian capital for your college class. Your major was in Art History and you found that throughout your class you enjoyed different types of Folk Art and you enjoyed Romanian Folk Art the most. So you decided to sign a slip to study abroad to a country of your choosing and so you chose Romania. You were tasked to study the art and make your own as well as write an essay on the culture you encountered on your trip. So here you are, in Bucharest sitting at a small park bench, food in hand which had a beautiful view of ‘The Arch of Triumph’ You had your small notepad that you use to take notes on what you see for your essay but as of right now you are doodling with the infamous arch way as the sole subject. As you finished your food you begin to pack up and put your pencil and notebook away then stand up. Your next stop was the “Dimitrie Gusti National Village Museum” It is about a seven minute walk from where you are now so you begin your journey.

With your backpack over your shoulder you begin your seven minute trek when something caught your ear. It was coming from ahead of you as you make your way to the entrance of the museum. “Pleacă de aici (Go away!)” A man cried. He seemed out of his mind! He was yelling and touching patrons in an effort to diverge them away from somewhere. “trebuie să pleci acum (You must leave now!)” You weren’t sure of what to do so you just stood there staring. That was your first mistake. He immediately made eye contact with you and charged in your direction. He was spitting nonsense and you couldn’t understand what he was saying. “Părăsi! Părăsi! (Leave! Leave!)” You understand that word so as you go through your imaginary index cards you have for the Romanian language you ask “De ce? (Why?)” The man seemed confused at what you were asking. “Mort! (Dead!)” You look at him even more confused and he sighs angrily “Vampire! Here Vampire!” You look shocked. You knew this man was crazy but not this crazy! He begins to grab on to your arm in a firm grip when he is suddenly ripped off of you. “Destul! (Enough!)” You see a pair of what looked like officers pulling the man away from you. “Atenție! ( Be careful!)” The man cries. “nu ieși noaptea! (Don’t go out at night!)” The police officers are taking him away in the direction of the main road. “Morții merg pe timp de noapte (The dead walk at night!) That was the last words you heard until he was out of ear shot. A wave of strangeness incased your entire body. You felt uncomfortable so you decided to leave. ‘I’ll come here some other time...’ You think to yourself as you find yourself walking back toward the main road and away from the museum and the woods that surrounded it.

Your walk home was unnerving. You wouldn’t say you were a paranoid person or even a believer in the paranormal but the man did strike a fear in you. You use to love vampires when you were a kid. You dressed up as one for three years straight for Halloween. You went through that weird Twilight phase of putting dots of sharpie on your neck and drinking red Kool-Aid in middle school. To say you weren’t a vampire fan would be a lie but that man seemed to know more. I mean you are in Romania so it is to be expected? You sigh as you get closer and closer to your apartment complex. Your backpack seems to be getting heavier with each step you took up the stairs. You enter an outdoor hallway that is connected to the stairs you just went up and look back to the world behind you. As the chill of the Autumn air sets in and you shiver. You turn to your door and take out your keys that were provided for you by the school. 

As you jiggle the lock you hear a door open next to you. You look to your left and see a man step out. He is wearing a brownish leather jacket and a red shirt underneath. He has a cap on top of his head as his umber brown hair surrounds his face. His side profile was a chefs kiss. He had a well defined jawline accompanied with just the right amount of facial hair from what you could see his face stood stern and unmoving until they landed on you. He had equally stern baby blue eyes as he stared into you (E/C) ones. His eyes seem to have a storm behind them. He had an intimidating look to him and the air around him was intense. You felt like you couldn’t breath. His eyes were like a black hole and they were sucking you in but you weren’t sure if you wanted to escape. That brief moment felt like a life time as you are swallowed by those broken eyes. He just looks at you and walks away.

When you got inside you decided to do a little research. Your roommate has yet to return so you decided to use their computer. You go to the local online news paper and begin to look at some articles. You go to the settings in the corner of the screen and hit the translate button. As the site reloads you begin to read. Multiple headlines flash across the screen as you scroll until a specific one catches your eye. “Local Farmer Finds Cattle Slaughtered” You scroll down to see pictures of said cattle. They are strangely skinny and their eyes are sunken in, there is a chunk of meat missing on a few parts of its body -mainly around the neck area- Scrolling down more you see the museum you were suppose to go to. There was a picture of the man you encountered holding onto somebody. Looking closely you can see that it is you! You didn’t realize that you were being photographed. Luckily it was of the back of your head so no one saw your face, but it would be a cool story to tell to your friend later. As you continue to stare at the man you decide to do even more digging. You decide to look up vampires and the influence they have in this culture. What you found was interesting but you weren’t sure if it was accurate. Then again how can something mythical be accurate? You decided to write down the name of a library that is close to your apartment complex and head there tomorrow. You decide to exit and shut off the computer putting it back on the coffee table where it belongs. You get up and decide to see what you have in the fridge. Turns out there was a whole lot of nothing. ‘I really need to go to the market tomorrow...’ You think to yourself as you reach for your phone looking at different take out places. You choose the type of food you wish to eat and made sure to write down the pronunciation of each items on the menu so you can be sure to say it correctly to the best of your abilities. By the time you are done ordering your roommate walks in and gives you a small wave. You wave back to them before continuing to wait for your food. You look out the sliding door of your balcony to see the sky is pitch black. You feel a shiver go up your spine and make your way to the sliding door and shutting the blinds. You take a few steps back and calm your breathing. You don’t know why you feel so worked up over nothing but you guess that your paranoia is getting the best of you. You walk to your roommates room and knock on the door. You hear a quiet ‘come in’ so you open the door. “Hey I just wanted to let you know that I got us some food and it will be here soon.” They smile and nod and you exit the room shutting it behind you. You don’t know how long it has been but you started dozing off on the couch when you heard a knock on the door. You quickly get your wallet and approach the door opening it. You expected your food to be here. What you didn’t expect is the person holding your food in their hands. “Oh it’s you!” You exclaim making the man you saw earlier today flinch. You blush red in embarrassment. “Sorry Uh-” You begin to try and speak some Romanian but the man cuts you off. “Your food got delivered to my place...” You look even more shocked. “Oh right. I’m so sorry!” You pop your head around the corner of the door way looking for the delivery person. “Where did they go?” You ask looking up at him. “They left...” He murmurs. “They wouldn’t have left without payment... Did you pay for my food?” You ask suddenly feeling guilty. He nods. “Why don’t you come i-” “No it’s fine.” He says holding out the bag of food to you. You look between him and the food. As you look closely you can see his hand. His hands look tough, fingernails are well kept with veins protruding and leading up his arm, but the thing that caught your eye the most was how his fingertips and some of his hand was stained red. “Is that your blood!? Are you okay? Did you hurt you hand?” You ask taking the food in which he takes his hand and wipes it on his jeans even though there is no liquid on it. What ever it was you hoped it wasn’t blood because it must have been there for a while to have stained it. “No I didn’t hurt my hand. I spilled some beet root juice.” He says quietly. “Oh... Okay...” You say slightly weirded out. “Well good night.” He says before walking away. You are stood there for a moment before you call out “Good night! How do I-” You hear the sound of his apartment door slamming shut. You were debating on going over there to say something but your thoughts were interrupted by your roommate calling out to you. “Hey what are you doing with the door wide open? Is the food here?” She asks and you sigh “Yeah I’m coming in.” You say as you step back into the apartment and shut the door. A/N: I used Google Translate for the Romanian So I’m sorry if it is off. A/N: This story is for a writing challenge hosted by @lokithealligator A/N: The bolded words is number 46 in a prompt list made by @pitaparka​         -Please check both of them out they are amazing!

#eventual fluff #eventual angst #eventual bucky x reader #vampire bucky barnes #vampire bucky x reader #college reader #strange bucky #strangers to lovers #slow burn #writing challenge #halloween #halloween writing challenge