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#in a fanfiction sense
faeriescorpio · 1 year
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It Wouldn’t Make A Difference
ao3:https://archiveofourown.org/works/45856459
tw: character talks a lot about suicide and kinda does it at the end in an implied sense but its In Space With markiplier so dying doesnt mean dying
Summary: The Captain gets a little too cavalier with killing themselves to move on to new universes. Mack gets a bit of a scare.
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It's a quiet night. Well, all nights are quiet in space.
You sway to music that even you can't hear, arms out and dancing to an invisible partner.
You're getting kind of tired of this loop. Mark's not here this time, it's Mack. You've had him as your Head Engineer before. This time, you were a on top of it, activating protocols to help the ship instead of opening his pod so that by the time he stepped out of the pod, you had done everything but wake the crew leads. Mack rushed to take action, to take control, of course, but by then you had already placed yourself in a position where you had proven your worth. He couldn't take over so easily, and it left him visibly fuming.
He was likely to find some way to take control by the time you were up tomorrow. You spun your nonexistent partner, catching a blurred glimpse of the glass of the control room that led out to the beautiful stars.
You think that maybe tomorrow morning when you step out of your cryo pod, instead of listening to Mack, you'll just throw the fire hydrant into the window. A quick death that will let you move on in the right direction toward your real head engineer.
"Captain?" You turn to find your head engineer watching you from the hallway, confused.
You thought he was in his cryo pod. Oh well. You suppose it makes sense that he'd be awake. He needs time to start scheming how to take control, doesn't he?
You keep dancing to your nonexistent song. You sway to no tune. There is nothing in your head. It's more like practicing dancing steps than any real moves.
"Captain," Mack says, strangled. "What are you doing?" There's no such thing as embarrassment when no one remembers your actions but you. Still, something drives you to at least acknowledge him.
"Dancing." Impulsively, you turn and reach out a hand. "Care to join? It's not like you'll remember."
"What?" He steps closer despite himself. "What are you talking about?"
"It's okay to dance with me," You repeat. "No one will see. It wouldn't interfere with your plans to take over." Mack makes a startled noise, no doubt surprised that you know about his plans. "Oh shush. As I said. it doesn't matter. You won't remember any of this."
"Why wouldn't I remember this tomorrow morning?"
"Because I'll kill myself," You explain, and the blood drains from his face, and he stares at you. "Then I'll go off to another universe, no doubt one where Mark is head engineer."
"Mark?" Mack looks pale. "Who- who is-"
"None of that." You grab his hand and pull him closer to you.
"Captain!" Mack yanks himself out of your grasp. "Explain yourself!"
Fine. So you tell him some of it. You don't make the mistake of mentioning Mark again, though. You're not quite ready for this universe to break and send you away yet. "The warp core is malfunctioning, and it's going to destroy every universe if I don't stop it. This-" You gesture to the warp crystal in the palm of your hand, and Mack leans forward to see it- "allows me to travel across the universes to try and find the warp core. Sometimes I switch universes randomly, but if I die it always takes me to a new universe."
Mack looks at you, a glimmer of fear in his eyes. "So you've just been killing yourself? Over and over?"
You shrug. "Sometimes it's faster than waiting for the portals to appear."
He grabs you. "Captain," He says, voice low and desperate. "I know that cryo sleep can cause strange dreams, but you can't kill yourself."
You ignore the first part of the statement. It's not the first time someone hasn't believed you, and it won't be the last.
"You need a scapegoat that badly? No thank you." You pull out a small knife you obtained from the murderer version of Mark you met. "It's quite easy. Injuries don't follow me into the next universe. Blood doesn't stay on my clothes. I just-" You raise the knife and Mack smacks it out of your hand.
"No!" He shouts. The knife clatters across the control room floor noisily. It's the loudest thing around.
You follow it with your eyes, and Mack steps in front of your gaze, staring at you intently.
"Captain, please," He says, voice rough, and you look at him. He's sweating, and scared. You don't understand.
"What?" You demand, and he grabs both your hands.
"Please don't kill yourself," he begs. "You- I-" He swallows. "You mean a lot. To- uh. To the crew!"
"To the crew." You say flatly. Sometimes it's true, you suppose. Sometimes the crew remembers what you've done, and they eye you with respect and awe. You're saving the universe. The last time Mack was head engineer, they watched you with hatred. They remembered all the wrong things. You have a certain confidence to you that when you fix everything, they won't remember it at all. Which is good, you suppose. You've been acting a bit like a fool lately.
"To me," Mack amends, and you turn your attention to him, surprised that he would admit it.
"You care about me?" You ask, disbelieving, and he steps closer and instead of saying anything else, he begins to dance with you, following the steps you had been taking with your imaginary partner. How long had he been watching?
It doesn't matter. He won't remember. You dance with him until your feet hurt, and then you keep dancing. Pain isn't real to you anymore. But Mack looks more and more discomforted as you continue, and you think of the fairy tale where people danced until they died. You slow to a stop, then put your hands around his waist.
"What are you doing?!" He yelps as you lift him up and set him down on the main monitor.
"Rest your feet," You reply, and Mack stares at you for a long moment.
"You... you don't feel a thing, do you." His voice sounds miserable.
"No," You confirm. He looks more upset.
"Please don't kill yourself, Captain. You mean a lot to me." Some part of him sounds resigned.
"I can't stay in this universe." Mack hangs his head down, and you almost feel bad. In the dim lighting, with the sweaty shine in his hair, he doesn't look too bad. He looks rather handsome, you admit to yourself.
Eventually, he slides off of the monitor.
"I won't remember any of this?" He asks quietly, and you nod. You're not sure if he actually believes you.
He steps forward anyway. "So I won't remember this." He brings his face closer to yours, hands moving up to cradle your face. His lips meet yours.
He's surprisingly gentle for someone who's going to become a dictator in the near future.
Your eyes flutter shut as the kiss deepens. Eventually, you pull away. Some part of you is disappointed. It might be the most amount of emotion you've felt in quite a while that wasn't a tired determination.
Mack stares at you some more, as if he's trying to commit you to memory. It won't work but you let him try.
"I better see you in the morning, Captain. That's an order," He says, and he steps into his cryo pod. You nod your head and turn to your pod. You don't hear him close his door until you've started to step inside your cryo pod. He must've been waiting. It doesn't matter. The moment you hear his pod close, you step back out of yours and pick up your knife.
You raise your knife.
You were originally going to end this loop early to avoid Mack hurting your feelings.
You're doing it now to spare his.
You've never given thought as to whether you leave some sort of body behind when you switch universes. You're pretty sure you don't.
You pray you don't.
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inkskinned · 6 days
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
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wishingformoredogs · 23 days
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Tired of “oh Percy would be a marine biologist” “oh Percy would be a teacher” that man is a stay at home dad. And I mean that.
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kazswift · 10 months
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just a reminder that people who create fanwork do not owe you anything. writing fanfiction, drawing fanart etc is entirely voluntary and something that should be done for fun!! putting pressure on someone to put out the next chapter of their fic isn't helping anyone, especially since most fandom creators are students and/or have a job, and also just. have a life. they have friends and family and things to do. and to people who create content, thank you!! you're appreciated!!
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gutsby · 4 months
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Trigger Tease(r)
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Pairing: Mob!Bucky x Reader
Summary: Before his morning briefing, your mob boss husband decides to take a pit stop in the sauna with you.
Warnings: 18+. Oral (f!receiving). Gentle fingerfucking. Praise and degradation. Daddy kink. Dirty talk. Bucky talking you through it. Bimbofication if you squint.
Notes: @sluttylittlewaistenthusiast - you inspired me 🪽 I just had to crank out a little teaser for the third installment of Wedded Bliss. I hope y’all like it 💓
Full version here
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In between breakfast and the start of your husband’s early briefing, you found yourself situated in much the same way you’d been spending a lot of time these days: pinned up against the wall of a wood-paneled sauna, Bucky’s broad shoulders supporting both of your legs as he buried his face deep between your thighs. You sighed.
“Hold still,” Bucky grunted, voice muffled as he tried to keep your slick, squirming body in place above him.
You yelped and seized a fistful of his hair when he wedged his tongue even further inside you, nudging your clit with his nose almost too teasingly and deliberate.
“I can’t…help it,” you bit back, ignoring the brief glare you earned from your husband as soon as you said it, “Your tongue’s just so— s— James!”
This time, Bucky let out a full-throated groan when you yanked on those poor wet locks of his—‘Gonna make me bald by next Christmas if you keep doin’ that, honey’—and he pried his head from your legs just long enough to knock you flat on the sauna bench close by.
The western red cedar seared hot on your skin, already flushed from the exhaustion wrought by Bucky’s tongue; you hardly had the strength to hold yourself up when he pushed you onto your back and crawled over your body.
“How ‘bout my fingers, doll? Can you take a couple’a those for me?” Bucky crooned above you as he stroked your hair, bathed in pure sunlight pouring in from the windows. His voice was a touch more sympathetic now.
After all, this was your third orgasm of the morning. It really wasn’t fair for him to use that biological weapon of mass destruction he liked to call his tongue when he knew how sensitive your clit would get from just one ‘O’. Even his hands might be too much in your current state.
Bucky was busy peppering your skin with kisses, working his way from the base of your neck to the crown of your head, when you whimpered and tried to fight a smile.
“Finger,” you corrected him, “Just one finger, Barnes.”
You would’ve thought you’d just thrown your wedding ring in his face and told him to eat shit. Just one?
“How’s one finger s’posed to stretch you out for my cock, huh? Practically had you screamin’ when I stuck it in last night,” Bucky wasn’t one to hide his amusement, grinning even bigger when you swatted him on the arm.
“Who said anything about your cock?” You tried to keep cool as Bucky’s fingers trailed right back down to the place you felt yourself throbbing, aching for his touch, “You have a meeting in ten minutes.”
“Meeting doesn’t start until I say so, my love,” Bucky reminded you just as his index ghosted over your folds.
In truth, he was willing to play this game any way, and for however long, you wanted it done, so long as he was the one bringing you pleasure. Be that his cock, his finger, or all fucking five on one hand, Bucky just wanted to get you off. It was better sustenance to him than the whole damn meal the two of you had eaten that morning.
Bucky kept it down to one digit and lightly circled your bundle of nerves when he sensed you were ready.
You gripped his forearm and shot a quick look between your legs, still in disbelief as to how he could make you feel this good so soon after you’d cum twice before. You felt his lips drift over to yours and steal a few kisses.
“Always doin’ so good for me,” Bucky praised, moving his finger in circles. When you whined against his mouth, he pressed it even harder, “Such a good girl for daddy.”
“James,” you breathed, clenching your legs together.
“Everything OK?”
“Uh-huh.”
More than OK, in fact. That delectable coil of sweet, euphoric release was already swelling gently in your tummy. Bucky moved his finger even faster.
“Tell me how it feels,” he murmured low in your ear.
Bucky loved seeing you try to articulate your feelings—relatively fresh and new to your world, still—while he was giving you pleasure. Adored the way you winced and whined and arched your back into his touch as a whole blustering hailstorm of sensations crashed over you.
He sank his tongue in your mouth as he kissed you, as if trying to extract the words from between your lips. Your response, in consequence, came somewhat stifled.
“Mm— feels so, oh—” Your voice broke off in a moan when Bucky tightened his circles, “—so good, daddy.”
“Wanna show daddy how good and cum for me?”
Bucky knew by the way you were whimpering under his hand that the tendril in your stomach had almost tripled in size. It wouldn’t take much to tip you over the edge.
“My sweet girl,” he said, rubbing your cunt at the same time he was stroking the back of your head, gently, “Feels so nice down there, doesn’t it?”
You rolled your hips against the bench and nodded. Your breaths were short and ragged, panting helplessly into Bucky’s mouth when he adjusted his hand just a little: pressing the pad of his thumb to your clit, with his index moving down to your entrance. Pushing inside you.
“Another,” you choked, not thinking.
Bucky met your desperate gaze and nodded, knowing this was exactly what you needed to make it over the precipice.
Still, he wouldn’t be Bucky if he didn’t tease just a bit.
“I thought my wife wanted one finger,” he hummed, brow pinching inward.
“No, no.” You could’ve shrieked when he curled the digit, “Want more— Bucky, please, please, I need more.”
Again, your husband appeared to nod in understanding, but his fingers didn’t budge. He worked his thumb a little faster and watched you writhe on the seat beneath him.
“How many, honey? Don’t wanna hurt my baby.” His words were all kindness, it seemed, but his tone laced with shameless condescension—the kind that said, yes, I know you need this, and no, I won’t indulge you just yet. Bucky was the worst when he wanted to prove a point. You could’ve ripped at his clothes and torn them in two if you weren’t both stark naked and shrouded in steam.
You opted to pull at his hair instead.
Bucky winced, but the smirk never left.
“I said how many?” he pressed again.
“Three. Four.” Fuck if you knew.
Your husband raised both eyebrows and hummed, a single finger still plunging in and out of your cunt in quick succession. He teased the tip of another at your entrance and smiled even more when you whined.
“Needy little thing, isn’t she?”
“Bucky—”
“Just wants to fuck daddy’s hand to get herself off, hm?”
Bucky didn’t bother to mask his sweet, degrading tone any longer as he talked down and teased you to no end. It drove him half-insane to see you squirm around, rut your hips, let him say the filthiest fucking words he could conjure up, and just bob your head to whatever he said. His impeccant wife and her insatiable needs—Bucky couldn’t even begin to express how turned on the sheer dichotomy got him. He stared in your eyes, all glossy and soft, and felt his cock stand even more rigid on his belly.
He didn’t give a shit if he’d taunted you enough or not; he just shoved his middle and ring fingers alongside the first and clenched his jaw to start fucking you hard with all three.
Your whole face contorted with pleasure, tinged with the faintest shade of discomfort at the tail end of it. You’d forgotten how big his fingers felt all together.
“Bucky,” you whined, mindlessly clawing at the wrist that was moving back and forth, fast, between your legs, “B-Baby, slow— slow down a little.”
But Bucky was deep in the zone. He knew you wanted it too—sensed that you liked to play it safe when it came to your pleasure and grew a little timid at times it got to feel too much—and he needed to talk you through it.
Rather than turn his head and keep to himself as he got you up to your peak, Bucky pressed his face down to yours and nodded again—this time with a tender sincerity.
“Feel a little stretch down there, huh?”
You didn’t have to say anything, just whimpering in time. Bucky kissed your forehead and let you fold into him as his fingers wreaked havoc down below. He kissed you again, and again, and in between kisses, mumbled,
“That’s daddy’s sweet, needy little slut.”
“My perfect fucking wife, so good at taking my fingers.”
“Gonna be nice and stretched out for my cock, hm?”
Every syllable spoken aloud was like a brand new catalyst for your impending release. You barely nodded your head, opened your mouth and whined pathetically, but that’s exactly how Bucky wanted you. Exactly how you needed to be, bucking your hips in time with the cadence of his fingers fucking inside you, and soon, those whimpers were turning to moans as that soft little helix inside you reached its breaking point.
Bucky brushed once or twice more against your sensitive spot, and suddenly you were coming undone all over him—crying his name, clawing his skin, squeezing your legs so tight around his wrist you feared you might snap it in two, and then getting kissed again, over and over while Bucky drank in your every sound, and the few tears that sprung to your eyes as they always did, like sweet nectar.
You were still moaning, curling your tongue feebly against his own and leaning into him as far as you could, when your husband slipped three fingers up between your mouths and pushed them past your parted lips.
“Suck,” Bucky said, gritting his teeth as he watched you, “C’mere, honey, taste your cunt on my fingers.”
You took him in and sucked your arousal off his fingers just like he asked. Took him by surprise and dragged a mindless, lazy, half-crazed and careless tongue all over his hand, where your juices had no doubt collected too.
That slutty, fucked-out look you gave him—like your brain had all but fallen out of your head with the orgasm he’d given you—was everything Bucky could’ve wanted.
He climbed on top of you and took the base of his cock, rock-hard and weeping tears of precum from the tip, almost drunk from the feeling himself. His mouth hung open as he dragged himself over the seam of your cunt.
“I need to fuck you.”
Taglist (STILL HAVE TO UPDATE THIS I'M DUMB AS SHIT): @vicmc624, @she-could-never, @mcira, @kentokaze, @identity2212, @unaxv, @buchi91, @ordelixx, @stinkerbelle007, @opibarnes, @wilsons-striped-ties, @desigirlxx, @pono-pura-vida, @geminiflanagansblog, @fandomsfeminismandme, @buggy14, @sky-full-0f-fl0wers, @buckysdoll1520, @armystay89, @minimarvelingmarvel, @kunakizen, @ghostiebby06, @blackhawkfanatic, @dameron-grant-spector, @sushiseoks, @deansapplepie, @mrsjoequinn, @lunaroserites, @first-edition, @kaybaby2494, @jaggedsi, @excusememrbarnes, @daisychainsoflove, @mostlymarvelgirl, @diannana, @shawnberry, @yujyujj, @urmomsalex, @mrs-bucky-barnes-73, @athenabarnes, @christinabae, @wintrsoldrluvr, @bethbunnyy, @i-heart-smut @dixsond
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imsilay · 9 months
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Dozakh
i’m back? :>
word count: 1k
not smut just obsessed, manipulative König. also not very proofread cus im lazy and have no time T-T
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cr: @gruhhhuu
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His heart skipped a beat when you pushed him away. He just wanted to kiss you like he always did, but you didn't seem to be in a mood for it. Because you were determined to talk about what had been bothering you. "We need to talk, König." His eyebrows frowned with confusion and hunger. He needed your taste, and he wanted it now.
“Nein. Come here.” he growled, pulling you back into his arms and wrapping them tightly around your body, trapping your arms and leaving you no room to move. You struggled and squirmed to break free, only making him angrier. "Scheiße." He lifted you up, sitting with you on the couch. "Fine. Talk." he said, breathing impatiently, still holding you down in his arms.
His big, calloused hand ran through your hair as he tilted your chin up to meet his eyes. "I need some space." you murmured, trying to push him away once again to put some distance between your bodies. He sucked a sharp breath, squeezing your body to stop your movements. The moment you told him that you wanted to be at your apartment for a week to think about your relationship, his brain stopped working completely. How would he continue living without you? How would he eat, sleep and breathe? It was already difficult for him to be away when he was deployed, but how could you expect him to survive without you? "Ja? Why?" his voice sounded calm yet cold. You sighed and attempted to explain: "It's overwhelming, I know you love me, and you want me close, but this," gesturing to your place on his lap and his arms holding you firmly when his voice was cold like ice. "This doesn't feel like love. I love you. I really do, but I don't know if I like being so... clingy." you watched his jaw clench as you spoke. He was always like this, getting angry whenever you mentioned leaving. His arms tightened around your midsection, as if he feared you would slip away. You could hear his breathing, feel his searching eyes scan your face and body. He wanted to be brutal, but couldn't quite lose himself yet. Not yet, at least.
"You think I'm clingy, meine kleine?" he trailed off as his hand wrapped around your throat, not in a menacing manner, but enough to make your breath hitch. "I just wanted to show you how much I love you..." His thumb caressed your pulse, feeling it increase with every passing second. "You can't leave me... You couldn't live without me. That feeling will fade. You'll get used to it." he mumbled and pulled you under his mask, kissing you breathless until you forgot why you were pushing him. His lips devoured yours with such hunger it made your head spin. He pulled back for air and saw that you had a blank look on your face. “See? You didn’t actually want to leave.” he said, his voice slightly hoarse from lust. You panted and tried to catch your breath as he kept you just inches away. It was hot under his mask and his cologne was intoxicating. The arms around your waist slid into your shirt, and his fingers caressed your soft skin. You shivered and softly sighed at the feeling of his big palm covering your body. "König, not again." you sighed, as you tried to resist the temptation he was casting. "I'm not doing anything." he pouted playfully, and kissed you again. The kiss was soft, but you felt the hunger. You felt as if you saw a spark of possession in his eyes. "I know what you're trying to do." you said as he broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against yours. "What do you mean?" he mumbled, but you could still feel his hand squeeze your waist and his fingers dig into your skin. He moved closer and said, "I'm just showing you my love, meine kleine. Your lips are so addicting." As you tried to turn away, he growled and kissed your lips again, this time, forcefully. He then started moving downward to your neck, cheeks, and even your ears, without hesitation. You were his, and it didn't seem that you had a choice. He was marking you with red hickeys on your neck and jaw. When you tried to push him away, he caught your hands and pinned them between your bodies, holding your wrists with one hand. He used his other hand to grip your neck and hold you in place, stealing your breath away. "König, please stop!" you yelled. He finally stopped with your yelling. His eyes wide, and his pupils dilated, making him look like a starving predator, and you his sole prey. "Don't leave," he breathed, leaning in to kiss you again. You pulled your head out of his mask for some much-needed oxygen. You hoped he'd calm down even a little, but he didn't. Instead, he nearly ripped his mask off and glared at you, his jaw tightly clenched and his eyes filled with determination. "Can't you see how desperate I am? How could you abandon me?" he pulled your head closer using his grip on your throat and growled into your ear. Then a moment later, he began trembling, and tears filled his eyes. You felt his desperation and started to feel guilty. He let go of your wrists and moved both of his hands to hold your waist. "I'm sorry, darling. I'm not going to leave you. Don’t cry." you mumbled. You wiped away the tears. Your heart ached as you saw his tear-filled eyes, and you felt an urge to pull him closer. The sound of your voice, that sweet murmur of surrender, was the sweetest music to him. All he had wanted this whole time was you. And you were here. In his arms. He leaned forward and captured your lips. A hot, hungry, desperate kiss.
After the kiss he hugged you and buried his head into your neck as if inhaling your smell directly into his soul. “You’re so easy, but you’re mine.” he mumbled against your skin and kissed your neck softly. He smirked when you worriedly apologized and tried to soothe him. It always worked. If his words didn’t, his tears would definitely…
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a/n: please support me by reblogging, if you liked the content ofc <3 your comments also makes my day :* and i love to reply all of them :>
hii ~(T-T)/~ i have a really busy studying schedule that’s why im not online like before :’) but writing is my therapy AND my acc isn’t abandoned (i’m barely looking at my phone screen)
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dindjarindiaries · 1 month
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character: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)
prompts: “You could have died, you know.” “I’m fine. There’s nothing for you to worry about.” and “I’m afraid of losing you, okay?”
main masterlist • prompt masterlist
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"Hey! Hey. Stay with me." There was a gentle tap on your cheek that smelled of leather and blaster fire. You groaned and blinked your eyes open, wincing as light caught the silver helmet that leaned over you. "Hey." The modulated voice was even softer that time. "You with me?"
You nodded, grunting as you sat up on your elbows. Din's hands continued to hold the sides of your face, his thumbs stroking your cheeks as his visor gave you a once-over.
"Easy." His command was gentle, rooted in nothing more than concern as his hands eased their way down to your shoulders. "That was a hell of a blow you took there."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just got the wind knocked out of me." You exhaled and began to stand. "We need to get back to the ship."
Din stood with you, one hand on your back and the other holding tight to your hand. If you weren't still somewhat disoriented, your heart would've been pounding at his touch and his proximity. "Only if you're able."
You huffed and raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm fine." You gestured with your head in the direction of the ship. "Let's get going."
Din nodded, drawing his blaster as the two of you began to run to back to the ship. There was no doubt the two of you had already taken care of your attackers, but it never hurt to be cautious. Din, however, was even more on edge than usual, his free hand staying close to you as his visor checked on you more than it did on the way ahead.
It was perhaps the most nervous you had ever seen him.
Once you were on the ship, Din secured the hatch closed behind you, and he wasted no time heading to the cockpit to get you off the planet. You collapsed into the nearest chair and took a few breaths, running your hand over your forehead as a slight ache began to arise. You had known you wouldn't be able to walk away from a detonator blast without at least a little pain.
You were so distracted by these thoughts that you didn't even hear Din return until he was kneeling in front of you with the medpac. You lifted your head at the sight of it and clicked your tongue as you shook your head. "Din, that's really not necessary."
He didn't stop shuffling through the medpac as he answered. "I'd like to make sure." Din paused and glanced up at you. "Please."
You couldn't help giving in to the pure worry in his tone. Your lips stretched in a small smile as you nodded. He returned the gesture and lifted a handheld scanner, using it on various parts of your head, arms, and more to make sure you were free of any critical injures. It time and time again chimed in the negative.
You watched him as he worked, taking note of the way his gloved hand shook as he held the scanner. His free hand was on your knee, and his touch pulsated every once in a while as if he was grounding himself to you over and over again. You furrowed your brow, and once he had completed his scans, you couldn't help speaking on it.
"Din." You reached out for the sides of his helmet, encouraging him to look at you. You searched his visor before nodding firmly. "It's all right."
Din held a breath in his armored chest, his shoulders tensing as his hand on your knee tightened again. His visor fell to study his grasp on you, as if you would fall away if he let go or looked away. After a long pause, he spoke in a voice so strained that it pulled on each of your heartstrings. "You could have died, you know."
You softened even more at that, your thumbs running over his beskar cheeks as you tried to soothe him. "I’m fine. There’s nothing for you to worry about."
Din shook his helmet, lowering it until it was resting against the knee he wasn't still holding. His shoulders rose and fell with each unsteady breath he took. Your softness was exchanged for fierce worry of your own as you ran a hand over his helmet.
"Din." You utterance of his name was just above a whisper. He still remained where he was, practically curled up into you as he clung to you the best he could. "What is it?"
He didn't move even as he answered your question. "I'm afraid."
Your eyes widened at that. You had been convinced that there wasn't a single thing in the galaxy Din Djarin was actually afraid of. He had sure as hell proven that over your time together. "What are you so afraid of?"
Din sighed, lifting his helmet once again so that his visor could face you. His hand ran from your knee to your thigh as if the motion helped him to gain the strength to say the words he was holding so close to his chest. "I’m afraid of losing you, okay?"
You instantly fell apart at his vulnerability. Your brow relaxed as you held his helmet between your hands again and urged him to get closer. The way you moved to the end of the chair helped to close the distance, and soon, you were able to rest your forehead against his helmet. "You won't lose me, Din." You shook your head to emphasize your point. "Not now, not ever."
Din exhaled a troubled breath. "We don't know that." His gloved fingers drummed against your thigh as he fought for strength to go on. "I... have lost so much. It almost feels inevitable. I've put my head down and kept going, but..."
His breath caught in his throat. Your sympathy for him nearly made your eyes well with tears as you waited patiently for him to finish.
"If it were you..." One of Din's hands rose to hold your wrist in place. "I couldn't bear it. Not even the thought of it."
You tried your best to put on a genuine smile for him as you began to reassure him. "I'll be more careful, Din. Okay?" You kissed the center of his visor. "Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it's not easy."
Din huffed, and a wave of relief flowed through you at the evidence of the darkness starting to leave him. "Neither is jumping near a detonator to protect me."
You chuckled, shrugging as your face began to warm. "Well, you would've done the same for me."
Din tilted his helmet at that. "Yeah. In protective armor."
You closed your eyes and savored your closeness. "I guess you'll have to find me my own suit of armor, then."
Din's hand gave your thigh a gentle squeeze. "I'll be your armor."
You reopened your eyes, smiling at him before you wrapped your arms around his neck to embrace him. Your cheek rested upon the cloth around his neck and shoulders as you nodded to yourself. "Perfect."
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din djarin tag list: @yorksgirl @zenrobbins0021 @cyaredindjarin @cw80831 @maddiedrmr
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after the events of season 4, steve just wanting SO BADLY to be friends with eddie. just LOVING the idea of them getting closer and having eddie as a friend because hell yeah! a close male friendship with someone that is actually my age, and who i don’t have a weird history with involving bruised eyes and love triangles? count me IN! and eddie is FUN, he is actually hilarious! the way they share the same glances of understanding when dustin is being an absolute shit head, rambling on and on about some obscure topic, expecting everyone to always be on the exact same page as him. of course. and, although steve suspects that eddie actually probably is keeping up with everything dustin says, much better than he ever could, he knows that above it all eddie can appreciate the antics for what they are, and roll his eyes with steve at dustin, i concur, you dustin henderson, are a total butthead.
steve just about junps RIGHT IN to being friends with eddie. hey man, what’cha up to tonight? wanna watch a movie? get drunk, smoke a bit? hey eddie, how have you been, man? he starts calling eddie up on the phone regularly just to check in, shoot the shit, he loves it! he loves having this new friendship with eddie munson and he loves how much the other boy has surprised him with how much he actually enjoys being around him. he’s not a freak, really, well ok maybe he is a little bit, but only in the best ways. he’s kind, thoughtful, and is always looking out for the people he cares about, which is something steve can really respect in a dude. but he’s also so funny? steve never could’ve anticipated just how much eddie has managed to make him genuinely LAUGH over their short amount of time spent together. and he’s really, out there? with the way he presents himself, the way he takes up space with these big THEATRICAL movements, leaving no room for regret or shame or god forbid embarrassment. steve isn’t even sure munson is capable of feeling it at all.
eddie munson is a good dude, and steve could use a bit more of that kind of person around him. he loves all of his friends, the weird little bonded family he’s found himself apart of, and they are all good people, but it never hurts to have afew more added in here and there. it never hurts to know there are more good people out there to find.
so steve is all over eddie, it seems.
at least, from where eddie is standing. nobody else seems as phased as eddie does at this sudden change in steve’s demeanour, in his interest in what eddie munson spends his time doing these days. it seems like, to everyone else, to steve, it’s just a natural progression in their relationship, after being sort of role model figures to the same group of kids, both being the two single dudes, who fought the same monsters together last spring, it seems nobody questions too much that they’d start casually hanging around eachother more. especially since eddie has found himself to fit into his own special spot as one of the group now after it all, after he unwillingly became tangled in this whole upsidedown-superpowers-supernatural-monsters and demons debacle, and tangled quite dramatically at that, the rest of the group that’s been with this since the beginning seemed to find no trouble in taking him in and seeing him as “one of them” now.
so, steve asking eddie to smoke, to watch movies, to go for a drive with no real end destination, it’s not really something that earns them too many double takes. dustin makes a comment or two in the beginning, because steve since when did you like hanging out with eddie? you guys are like so opposite, you don’t like any of the same stuff he does? and steve barely gives a shrug and a dismissive yeah yeah whatever man in response, with a signature eye roll, and dustin had said it seemingly also not too seriously, poking fun at steve wherever he can, not really meaning anything by it, as he fidgets around and rambles in the backseat of steve’s car, eddie riding up front. after that, though, he’s dropped it. it’s never brought up again. part of eddie thinks, too, that dustin would actually be enjoying that his two older friends are becoming friends themselves.
robin seems to be the only other person to look a bit harder at their situation, lingering stares at their interactions, all squinted eyes and eyebrows raised, though from her all this seems to be almost always and only ever directed at steve. eddie’s not sure what to make of that. isn’t he the weird one? i mean, he’s the one that stands out, right? he’s the odd denominator that makes their friendship strange. why would steve harrington want to hang out with Him? HIM? but robin doesn’t spend her time studying eddie to try and search for what about him could possibly have piqued the interest of cherished steven harrington, no, shes always looking at steve. like she’s seeing him differently, almost. eddie doesn’t even think that steve notices it, either, because he doesn’t seem to be questioning or doubting anything odd or strange or out of the ordinary with their newfound time spent together. and maybe, maybe robin is seeing him differently. eddie knows he definitely has been. seeing him more, intensely. deeply. human. seeing the person that steve is, as just steve, not this idealised version of a boy that eddies starting to question ever really even existed at all, or if everyone around him just needed to believe that he did, and who was steve if not happy to comply to the wants of the people around him for who he should be?
eddie likes having steve as his friend, too. don’t get it twisted. he loves how unexpectedly expressive steve is about everything, even really small things. steve LOVES to raise his voice, rest a hand on his popped hip, scolding the kids for something stupid with no real heat or malice behind it. and steve is, like, kinda bitchy too. eddie knew he had the capacity to be a real asshole when he wanted to be, that’s all he knew steve for back in the day, when he was back in high school, hanging around tommy h and the basketball boys, the jocks. eddie would spend his days hearing only whispers and gossip in the hallways of the parties at king steve’s house and the fights king steve had started and won on the court or out in the fields, only ever getting as close as a shove into a locker with the guy at the time, but eddie knew how it could go. he knew all about what steve had done to jonathan, what he’d said to him, the words he’d used. eddie knew it all. he’d seen enough, and been through enough himself, to know how these guys acted in response to guys like him, like jonathan, people who were lower on the social food chain. so, eddie knew about steve’s “mean streak”, if you will, but this kind of snarky bitchiness was something new to him. harrington was almost, sassy, when he wanted to be. it was less so cruel and more just, just sass. if he’s being completely honest it kind of blew eddie away, at first. he thought steve was one of those dull headed jocks who thought with their fists more than their actual brains, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. steve’s insults were well thought out, they were FUNNY, he was smart with his words. and silly. oh my god steve harrington could be so fucking silly, real honest to god goofball when the moment called for it, when he felt comfortable enough. eddie had caught on multiple occasions steve mimicking lightsabers to play fight with dustin, or the stupid fucking shit he would do or say just to make robin laugh, singing along to a song playing on the radio with a funny voice.
it was all a little, intoxicating, to watch. eddie didn’t know what gave him the right to be in on this now, to get to see this side of steve and better yet to be at the other end of some of his best qualities. it was fun, all the time they spent together, but there was always something else tugging inside eddie everytime they spent close time together, too. something, he knew steve wasn’t aware of. something he knew steve wasn’t equipped to deal with. something he knew, was him. was him, making things something more than they should be, because, nobody seemed to be questioning that they could become friends, so why ruin that? why disrupt it?
- robin and steve
“Steve.”
“-but then like, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to watch it I just thought, hey, y’know, let’s try something different for a change, but then he- oh my god he honest to god TACKLED ME Robin — I mean, it was so fucking funny and it happened so quick — and all over a fucking Tom Cruise movie-“
“STEVE.” Robin lightly slammed a hand onto the counter. She had been standing behind it for no short of 20 minutes, watching Steve as he paced around, supposed to be stacking tapes onto shelves, but ended up spending the whole time going on and on, and ON, about how movie night went with Eddie last night. She thought she was bad…
Steve jumped, almost running into a shelf and knocking down his hard work, and seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had found himself in after starting to tell Robin a story about something funny Eddie had done last night.
“Shit, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying? Were you- were you saying something?”
To this, Robin just rolls her eyes and let’s out a laugh, “You, sir, are goddamn hopeless.”
“Sorry. How long was I talking for?” Steve wandered his way over to lean his arms onto the counter from the opposite side.
“Oh, I dunno Steve, just about half an HOUR?”
“That is an over exaggeration Robin, it’s only been like-“
“Honestly, man, i’m concerned for you. You are like next level OBSESSED with Eddie. Eddie Munson. You do realise this right??? You are obsessed with him, Steve.”
To this Steve sputters, lazily waving his hands back and forth.
“No, Robin, what the hell are you talking about? I am not OBSESSED. No need to be jealous, alright, Stevie-Boy here can have more than one friend. Your spot in my heart isn’t any less special now that it’s beginning to be shared by another.” He bats his eyelashes up at her, holding both hands over his chest as if to cradle his heart.
“Oh my GOD! You even SOUND LIKE HIM!”, she playfully slaps his shoulder. “Steve. You are obsessed.”
“I am not obsessed! He’s just a really great guy, alright-“
“Blah blah, yep whatever you say, lover boy.” Robin quips, plopping down onto the chair chair infront of their staff computer, turning herself to face it.
“Wha- what? Lover boy? What the hell Robin, that is not- that doesn’t even make any sense!”
She is just smiling at him now, enjoying seeing him spiral like this. Steve let’s out a sigh as he puts his hands on his hips, and shakes his head, looking at her right back.
He opens and closes his mouth afew times, like he’s really thinking about what he wants to say next. Or like he has no idea what to say next, and his brain is not moving fast enough to formulate the next sentence his mouth knows he wants to say. He wasn’t obsessed. That’s not- that’s like- no. No he was not, Robin was just playing around with him, she knew how to get on his nerves. Get him all wound up over little things just to see him react like this.
After a minute or two, Robin realises Steve was not going to reply anytime soon, so she turns fully back toward him. Saving him from his spiral.
“So, what are you’re plans for tonight Steve-O?”
He lets out a chuckle and walks around the counter till he’s behind it with Robin, leaning his back against it so he can stand across from her and face her.
“Well, not really sure. Parents aren’t home, no early shift tomorrow, might drink afew beers, listen to some music, —“
“See what Eddie’s doin?” Robin finishes for him, quirking her eyebrows up and down as she does it.
“Oh shut up!” Steve just laughs and softly throws a tape from the counter at her chest. “As a matter of fact, yeah I will see what he’s up to. Because we are friends now, Robin. Is that a problem? Actually I was also gonna ask you what you were up to after work, too, but you know what after this I’m having second thoughts, I mean, the way you’ve been treating me lately-“
“Oh my god, you are the worst. Yes, I’m free, of course I’ll hang out with you dingus. You and your tweedle dee.”
Steve laughs at this, then tilts his head.
“Wait, does that make me dumb? Tweedle dumb?! That’s how you see me?”
“Yeah it is actually, got a problem?”
“Oh wow, she’s feisty today. Can’t believe you think I’m dumb, Rob’s. When you come knockin’ tonight, do not expect a warm greeting at my front door.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take my chances.”
- later. steve’s house. to be continued?
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69slaysoulsister69 · 4 months
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Reading a marauders fic for the first time in awhile and James and reg just had their first kiss and I was surprised at how fast they got together but then I checked my progress and realized I was 100k words in already… apparently I forgot how marauders fics altar my perception of time
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justaz · 5 days
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battle of camlann but merlin wasn’t ancient as shit. he blasts the warriors around arthur away and arthur turns to see a glowering, golden-eyed merlin. he tightens his grip on his sword but isn’t able to raise it. the inconceivable notion that merlin has betrayed him runs through his mind but he cant quite grasp it. his father is screaming in his head to kill the wretched sorcerer but all arthur can see is his friend wearing a face that looks too much like morgana’s. merlin glances up at arthur and the expression of rage fizzles into one tinged with fear and concern - all too confusing for him to unpack in the midst of battle. merlin is slow to approach his side and even then he keeps his distance. before either of them can say anything, mordred appears, sword in hand, glaring at arthur.
merlin tries to draw the former knights attention away from arthur, tries to goad him into fighting merlin instead, but mordred is deadset on fighting arthur. he calls morgana over instead and says emrys’s fight is with her while his is with arthur. with the extra seconds of back and forth, arthur isn’t as shocked when he raises his sword against mordred’s. morgana and merlin blast each other great distances until they’re far away from modred vs arthur and land on the front line between the two armies. both armies back off and watch the light show as morgana and emrys battle until morgana’s army uses the distraction to close in on camelot’s army.
three battles occurring at once until morgana gets a lucky hit in and merlin goes flying. he lands next to a gwaine who is currently bleeding out. he smiles when he sees who’s next to him “merlin!” which sounds so much like his greeting every time they ran into each other before gwaine became a knight. he reaches out and heals gwaine’s wound and leon just looks up at him for a moment before going “you’re always full of surprises, aren’t you merlin?” merlin grins and goes “i got one more” he stands up on surprisingly steady legs and calls on kilgharrah. in for a penny, out for a pound. arthur is already fuming at him, might as well rip the bandaid off right?
kilgharrah attacks morgana’s army while merlin orders aithusa to stand down. camelot’s army is able to march through the charred army and bring down those who remain, mordred is loosing but persevering through rage and spite alone, morgana is screaming (like she always is nowadays). merlin and morgana battle once more until mordred and morgana’s armies have fallen. merlin makes a tactical retreat to arthur who is still staring at him wearily (and definitely irate). he requests permission to kill morgana which is baffling but she is his sister and he’s always cared for her even after her betrayal so he supposes it makes sense. once he gives it, their fight doesn’t last longer than a minute. emrys was always stronger than her, he was just buying time.
camelot emerges victorious though they don’t seem all that excited about it. the other warriors cheer and clap each other on the back, but arthur is just watching merlin. the knights watch them uneasily. merlin returns arthur’s gaze. “is that the fucking dragon i killed?” merlin looks up at kilgharrah who is needlessly burning the remains of morgana’s army. merlin turns back to him “yes.”
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steddiehyperfixation · 4 months
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so you don't get lost (steddie ficlet)
written for @steddielovemonth day 17 rating: T cw: alcohol tags: first kiss, clubbing, college au, platonic stobin prompt: Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost
“She’s totally into me, right?” Robin asks as they wait for their drinks at the bar, her smile a mile wide, and it’s been a minute since Steve’s seen her smile like that. 
“Yeah, totally,” Steve agrees. The girl Robin’s been talking to all night is drifting back over to them even as they speak, the two of them like magnets since they first traded smiles on the dance floor earlier that night. 
Robin glances back at her and bites back a wider grin. She bounces on her tippy toes and whispers to Steve, “If I make out with her it’s not gonna make you feel awkward, is it?” 
Steve shakes his head. “Go ahead,” he encourages. 
It had been a group effort to get Robin out tonight. Her university friends had enlisted Steve to help drag her out of the mopey funk she’d been in since getting broken up with two weeks ago, and it had taken an hour of Steve hyping her up while she kept crying off her attempts to do her makeup before she finally managed to make it to the club. He’s just glad it had been worth it. 
“I don’t even know if I remember how to do this,” Robin mutters, a little nervously, as she and Steve grab their drinks and rejoin her friends on the dance floor. But it turns out, she has nothing to worry about. The two girls resume their orbit around each other, and the second the next beat drops and the lights strobe, the other girl finally pulls Robin into a heated kiss. Steve watches this, and he smiles fondly. She deserves it. He’s happy for her. 
And he’s totally not jealous. Not necessarily of Robin, obviously, or the girl she’s kissing, but simply of the fact that they’ve so easily found a hot drunk stranger to make out with at the club and he…hasn’t. He can’t even remember the last time he’s had a decent kiss, much less scored at a club, though not for not wanting to. 
Steve finds himself glancing at Robin’s friend Eddie, the tatted-up metalhead Steve’s felt a pull towards since the first time they’d met. He thinks about kissing him every time they’re out together, and maybe there was a time when Steve would’ve just gone for it, a time before he’d taken a few too many hits to the ego and developed doubts and insecurities, but now the thought just makes him nervous. Eddie makes him nervous. 
He feels that nervousness now as Eddie catches him staring and he shakes those lovely dark curls out of his face and smiles at him. It bubbles in his stomach, flutters in his chest. Steve downs the rest of his drink and looks away. The alcohol floods heat through his veins and blurs his vision, but the ever-present thrum of anxiety just from being in Eddie’s proximity still isn’t dulled. He bobs numbly to the music, avoiding looking at anybody at all now, only staring at the floor or the wall or some super fascinating point just above everyone’s heads, sure he looks like an absolute freak. 
It goes beyond just wanting to kiss Eddie; Steve’s not stupid, he knows the only explanation for this sheer amount of nervousness he feels around him is that he’s got an actual, proper crush. Because not only is Eddie super fucking hot, he’s also sweet. Steve is an outsider in this group and he knows it, the college dropout who only tags along because Robin insists on it, but Eddie never makes him feel like that. It’s always Eddie who makes sure he’s included in conversations, always Eddie who makes a point to loop Steve into the context of inside jokes and stories whenever Robin is too distracted to. Steve craves those interactions, gets a thrill every time Eddie so much as speaks to him. So he doesn’t only want to kiss him, he also just wants Eddie to like him, wants him to see him as a friend at the very least. But it’s not like they’ve ever even hung out outside of a group setting, and sometimes Steve fears Eddie’s just being nice and he doesn’t actually see him as anything at all. 
Steve’s drifted so far into his own head he doesn’t realize his group is on the move, pushing deeper into the dance floor and leaving him behind. 
“Steve!” Eddie’s voice calls out to him and snaps him out of it. Everyone else has been taken by the crowd, but Eddie hangs back, reaching his hand out to Steve. 
Steve takes it, swallowing down the way his heart pounds as Eddie’s fingers curl around his hand. Eddie pulls him through the throng of jostling, sweaty bodies, and even though he maintains a tight grip on Steve’s hand, he still keeps looking back at him like he’s making extra sure Steve doesn’t get lost. Warmth blooms in Steve’s chest. Maybe he’s just drunk, maybe he’s just delusional, but all of the sudden he feels so very very cared for. 
“Thanks,” Steve says, nearly shouting to be heard over the music. 
“‘Course.” Eddie smiles as he turns around to face him. They’ve caught up to their friends now, but he’s still holding Steve’s hand. “I’d never just leave you stranded.” 
Of course he wouldn’t. He never has before. Steve just smiles back and squeezes Eddie’s hand. 
They’ve only just let go of each other when Robin and her girl, still kissing clumsily and staggering about the dance floor, stumble straight into Steve and knock him off balance. “Woah!” Eddie reaches for him again instantly, looping an arm around Steve’s waist to keep him from toppling over or careening into the crowd. 
“Ah! Sorry!” Robin giggles before she’s whisked away again. 
Eddie laughs. “Good for her, right?” 
“Yeah, good for her,” Steve says, watching his best friend spin out of sight, and when he looks back he startles at how close he and Eddie are, suddenly very aware of Eddie’s arm around his waist and his hands on Eddie’s chest. 
“You okay?” Eddie asks, his grip on Steve tightening like he means to steady him. 
“Yeah, thanks again.” Steve regains his footing, but he doesn’t pull away. There’s something there, he thinks, in the way Eddie’s always reaching out to him so he doesn’t get lost, literally and figuratively, in crowds and conversations. It could just be friendly, it could just be nothing, but for the first time, Steve lets himself hope. He even thinks about leaning in right now, but then he thinks about it too much, and he doesn’t. 
Instead, there’s a weird moment where they’re both just staring at each other. Eddie’s got this confused little smile on his face like he’s waiting to see what Steve will do, and when Steve doesn’t do anything, Eddie’s smile abruptly becomes more playful as if he’s trying to break the tension, and he starts theatrically swaying them to the music, even though it is most definitely not the swaying sort of beat. Steve laughs, his racing heart making it come out giddy and giggly, especially when Eddie drops his waist to grab his hand and twirl him around. 
Eddie pulls him in close again then, and this time Steve doesn’t think at all. In fact, it’s unclear which one of them leans in first; all Steve knows is that their lips finally, finally meet in the middle and he finally, finally gets to tangle his hands in Eddie’s hair, and it’s sweet and it’s hungry and it’s absolutely perfect. Steve holds onto Eddie and he gets lost in him. 
When Steve meets back up with Robin outside after the club closes, they exchange a celebratory, congratulatory high five, the both of them with matching kiss-swollen lips and dates set for next week. 
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inkskinned · 11 months
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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ghostedghouls · 11 months
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caught
✢ you get lost in the woods. A certain ghoul finds you and takes what he craves.
✢ pairing: Swiss x reader (f)
✢ genre: smut
✢ warnings: CNC, breeding kink, primal play, creampie, knotting, rough, biting, blood, hunting, dirty talk, dry humping, almost no foreplay, 1 spank, aftercare
✢ a/n: cnc is consensual non-con. A roleplay. Both Swiss and reader have given consent beforehand in this, even though I’m not going to write it out. Read this at your own risk, know your limits! <3
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You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you rushed through the overgrown forest. Thorns and leaves whipping your legs until they were scratched up and bloody. Your clothes had been torn at the back from the first time the ghoul had almost caught you.
It all had started this morning when you were tasked by Copia to forage for some herbs Mountain had requested. He wanted to go collect them himself, like he normally would, but the ghouls’ heats were approaching and Copia didn’t want to risk the possiblity of it hitting right as Mountain was away from the abbey. For the sake of their safety (and the safety of the siblings) the ghouls were normally locked into their den for the duration of their heats. It worked best for everyone involved and the ghouls didn’t mind, as long as they got to work everything out of their system. It also helped calm them, knowing that noone would enter their territory and destroy their nests.
You had collected two baskets full of yarrow by the time the sun had begun to set. Mountain had told you about them being useful against fevers, something that the ghouls sometimes had to deal with during their heats. So you had carefully plucked as many of them as you could, placing them into the woven baskets neatly.
Satisfied with your work you decided that it was time to return to the abbey to deliver the herbs. You knew they needed to be prepared right away or they would spoil, so you tried to be quick. Stumbling through the thick overgrowth, following the slim path you thought you recognized, you realized that you didn’t seem to get any closer to the abbey. You hadn’t walked that far into the forest, had you? You should have been able to see the buildings by now. You stopped walking for a second, turning around to watch where you had come from. Should you turn back? You shook your head as you decided against it. Surely you would reach the edge of the forest soon, you just had to keep walking. So you continued following the tiny path, not noticing how it grew slimmer and slimmer until it wasn’t a path at all; only grass and bushes. 
It had gotten significantly darker now, crickets were starting to fill the silence as the last sun rays snuck their way through the trees. You felt yourself slow down, not sure what you were supposed to do now. No matter which way you’d go, you wouldn’t reach the abbey before it was completely dark outside, that was for sure.
You stopped walking again, listening to the birds sing their final songs of the day in the distance. A loud snap made you whirl around quickly, the fragile plants almost falling out of the baskets. But as you tried to see what had caused the sound, your eyes struggled. It was too dark already, not even squinting worked. You held your breath waiting for another sound. Another snap - this time closer - made you back up a little. 
“Hello?”, you called out into the night. 
Suddenly a silver glimmer caught your eye and you watched as the dark figure of a ghoul stalked towards you. Its eyes were locked on you. Didn’t it see that you had noticed it? You were staring directly at it. With its superior vision, it should have been able to see that. But it kept approaching, slowly and predatory.
You wanted to feel relieved that one of the ghouls had found you, be relieved that it would lead you back to the abbey. But the way the creature was stalking you, like it would stalk its prey, sent shivers down your spine. The ghouls weren’t supposed to be out here anymore. They all were supposed to be at the abbey, preparing for their heats. A ghoul being out here could only mean trouble.
You started backing up slowly, setting one foot behind the other, never removing your gaze from the still approaching creature. 
You must have stepped on a twig, because something snapped under your foot and created a loud sound that echoed through the forest. The sudden sound triggered the ghoul to pounce, sprinting towards you. You dropped the baskets immediately, herbs falling to the ground gracelessly. 
And then you started running as well.
If this was a ghoul in heat it would mean one thing and one thing only; you had to get away from it at all costs.
You ran as fast as you possibly could, but the footsteps behind you grew closer with each stride. There was no use in trying to out-run a ghoul. They would always catch up to you eventually. This was most likely a game to it, its hunting instinct triggered now that you had started running away from it. It didn’t take long before you could feel claws graze your back with a swift swipe. The sharp claws dug into the fabric of your clothes, ripping the back of them open. You stumbled slightly as you were pulled backwards by the force of it. With all the strength you had, you pushed yourself forwards again, tearing yourself free from the grip the demon had on the fabric. It glowled low in its throat as you managed to free yourself.
Adrenaline rushed through you again, the waves of it hot under your skin. Your legs were screaming at you to stop but you kept on pushing forwards, increasing the distance between you and the demon.
And that’s where you were now; stumbling through the thick vegetation, legs cut open and bleeding.
You didn’t hear the ghoul’s footsteps anymore, and for a moment you felt safe. You slowed down slightly, not quite daring to stop completely, though. Maybe the ghoul had lost your trace? It was unlikely but as you looked behind yourself, there was no sight of it.
Your steps slowed down further until you were walking. Maybe it had given up after chasing you around the woods for so long. Perhaps it deemed you to be too much of a pain in the ass to persue any further, and decided to find an easier target. Or maybe-
A yelp was ripped from your throat as your front hit the mossy ground. You landed softly but the fall still managed to knock the wind out of you, especially because something - or someone - had collapsed on top of you. 
You felt yourself being pushed into the ground forcefully and your adrenaline spiked again. But this time you couldn’t run.
You couldn’t see exactly what had knocked you down but you didn’t need to look to know that it was the ghoul. It snarled and panted above you, one clawed hand had grabbed the back of your throat, pushing your face down. You tried to struggle out of its grasp but it was too strong.
“Thought you could get away this easily? Pathetic.”
Swiss.
You froze as you heard his voice, so close to your ear it sent a shiver down your spine. His full weight was on top of you, pinning you down, and as he shifted to get an even better grip, you felt something.
You nearly choked as you felt his erection press against your ass. With renewed vigor you tried to push him off of you, get away from him, but your struggling only seemed to excite him even more. His hips pressed into your behind harder, making you feel the outline of him. With a whimper you collapsed onto the ground again, boneless. The multi ghoul let out a breathy “fuck” as he ground his hips into you.
“I followed you through the entire forest. Fuck-... followed your scent and knew I had to have you. Had to breed that little cunt of yours. And look at you now; all ready for me to have.”, he panted into your ear, his hot breath fanning across the side of your face. You felt your stomach drop at his words, fear replacing the adrenaline in your veins.
“And you’re going to be a good little bitch and take it. Take everything I give you.”
A loud rip echoed through the otherwise quiet forest as one clawed finger tore through the fabric of your clothes. He didn’t take his time, removing the scraps unceremoniously - rushed. The forest air felt cold on your skin and you errupted in goosebumps. The ghoul seemed to like that, a smirk on his lips as he dipped down to lick up your spine from the base to your neck, where he was still holding you down firmly like a misbehaving dog. You took a chance and pushed yourself up again, catching the ghoul off guard. He scrambled after you with a low growl, one of his big hands catching one of your ankles and dragging you backwards towards him. You kicked your other leg in his direction but he easily caught it as well.
With both ankles in his claws, he turned you around forcefully, your front now exposed to his piercing gaze. His eyes seemed crazed as they scanned your face, then your chest, and finally your exposed crotch. You wanted to close your legs, to hide your naked form from him, but he forced your ankles apart further, squeezing his narrow hips between your thighs. His chest was heaving as he panted. You could feel the heat from his body through his clothes.
You had seen the ghouls in heat before, and this was exactly like it. The heightened body temperature, the piercing gaze, the overtaking of instincts. Swiss was not thinking clearly. He was truly and utterly ghoul in this moment.
As if on cue, the multi ghoul ground his hips into your core, making you gasp. You could see his hard cock strain against the front of his pants and you swallowed thickly. He let go of your ankles in favor of one of his hands supporting his weight next to your head while the other hand trailed down your body to your core. You writhed under him, trying to move away from his touch, but there was nowhere for you to go with the ghoul surrounding you completely.
He leaned down further, his fangs ghosting over the skin of your throat. And suddenly he bit down, his thumb finding your clit at the same time. You cried out at the sensation. His bite felt like a shard of ice, the pain gradually dulling down until it was only a light throbbing. He released the tender skin, licking it with a forked tongue. You didn’t know if he had drawn blood or not, but he let out a satisfied grunt as he looked at the bruise.
His thumb was still teasing your clit, pushing down harder before barely making contact. Your hands tried to grab at his arms, push him away but he wouldn’t budge. As he pressed down harder a breath escaped you, your hips bucking upwards slightly. The multi ghoul almost came in his pants right then and there.
“Shit, I’m gonna fuck you so good.”, he very near whined as his hands started working on the front of his pants. His hard cock sprang out immediately as he pushed his pants down just enough for him to be able to grab himself fully. You watched with wide eyes as Swiss fucked into his fist a few times. His head thrown back in pleasure.
After a few more thrusts he grabbed himself tightly, placing the head of his dick against your entrance and pushing in. You yelped as you felt yourself being stretched open by him, but it was slow. Swiss growled with impatience, pulling out roughly before letting a trail of spit fall from his lips onto your core. He spread the wetness with his tip, gliding from your entrance to your clit and back down. He positioned himself again and pushed his hips fowards roughly, earning himself another yelp from you. He started off with an unforgiving pace right away, his hips slamming into yours with such a force it rocked you upwards slightly. Your head was spinning and you couldn’t help yourself as you grabbed Swiss’ back to steady yourself somewhat.
The multi ghoul let out lewd groans and curses as he kept fucking into you as if his life depended on it. His hands grabbed your hips, pulling them towards himself every time his hips pushed forwards.
He began panting again, his eyes sharp as he watched his dick disappear into your body over and over again.
“Knew this pussy would take my cock so well. Mmh fuck-”
He grabbed you harder before shoving you off his dick, turning you around again so that you were on your hands and knees before him. With a strong hand he pushed your head down, your neck straining uncomfortably with the new position. With the new position your ass was exposed to him like you were a bitch in heat and you could feel your face heat up at the thought.
Without a warning his palm came down hard on your ass cheek. Tears stung in your eyes as he entered you again, his claws grabbing your hips with such a force you knew they would leave bruises. He picked up the pace again, his thrusts hard and fast as he used your body for his pleasure. Your face was rocked into the ground with each thrust, the smell of wet moss filling your nose.
“Shit, sweetheart. I’m going to breed you, fill you up with my cum and leave you dripping for days.”
You clenched around him involuntarily, a high pitched whine leaving your lips. “You like that? Hm? Like the idea of me filling you to the brim and then leaving you to drip my good stuff all over the forest as you make your way back to the abbey?”
One of his hands let go of your hip and trailed around to your front to find your clitoris again. As his skilled fingers started stroking the sensetive bundle of nerves, you felt your mind go blank for a second.
Swiss grunted as you clenched down on him again, lost in the pleasure.
“Fuck- but before that, I’m going to stuff you with my knot. Make you come around it.”
Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt the pleasure building in your lower stomach. His fingers were working your clit in fast circles and his thick cock hit all the right places inside of you. You were so fucking close to cumming all over him.
Swiss was close too. You could tell by the way he muttered out dirty words that were too unintelligible for you to understand, his hips snapping wildly into you.
“Cum on my dick. Be a good little breeding bitch and come on my cock.”
You cried out as your orgasm washed over you, your walls clenching down tightly on the multi ghoul’s cock. He groaned and moaned as you shook from the pleasure. And with a few more thrusts he pushed into you fully, his knot stretching you even further until it popped in, securing Swiss to your backside. You could feel his cock twitching inside of you, filling you with his hot cum, spurt after spurt. He shivered as his front collapsed onto your back. His lips pressed tiny kisses between your shoulder blades, his fangs nipping gently along the way. 
It took some time for the multi ghoul to catch himself. Once he had given you every last drop of his cum, he slumped back slightly, making you wince as his still swollen knot caught on your entrance. Swiss was quick to correct his posture as not to cause you any more discomfort.
“Are you alright?”, he asked as he moved to lay the two of you down on your sides so you were spooning, careful to not move his hips too much.
“Yeah, just a bit tired from all the running.”
“If it was the running that made you tired, I didn’t do a good enough job just now.”, the tall ghoul joked as he nuzzled his face into your neck, licking the purple bruise there.
“Are you sure you’re not hurt? Did you enjoy yourself?”, Swiss asked with a whisper, his hands caressing your side tenderly.
“I’m sure. Don’t worry, love. And yes, of course I enjoyed myself. I always do.”, you answered, your hand grabbing his at your side and moving it to your lips so you could kiss it. Swiss melted behind you, snuggling himself closer to your body.
“But I just have to ask”, you began, playing with his fingers gently, “What were you doing out here? I thought you were going to start your heat?”
Swiss shook his head, giving you a toothy grin, “No, not yet. We were worried about you being gone for so long, so they sent me to find you. I still have a few more days before my heat starts. Mountain is already going through it though, so I guess it was a good idea to send you foraging.” He leaned in closer, kissing your shoulder. “It also gave me the opportunity for our little romp just now.”. You laughed as you hit his leg playfully.
“We should probably get back soon though, before they start sending out other ghouls to look for us.”, he huffed out, moving his hips to pull out of you. His knot still caught at your entrance but with a bit of manuvering he managed to pull out completely without hurting you. His cum immediately started dripping out of you and he watched with half lidded eyes as the sticky white substance trailed down your leg. 
“I would love to get you cleaned up, darlin’, but I think I like this sight way too much.”
You huffed out a weak laugh as you got up, searching for your clothes, or what was left of them anyway. You held up your ruined clothes and Swiss ducked away. “Sorry. I might have gotten a bit carried away. But the chase really riled me up, you know?.”, he explained sheepishly and you chuckled. Swiss removed his jacket for you to wear. Thankfully it was quite large on you, so it covered your butt well enough.
He grabbed your waist tenderly, pulling you close to his body so he could place a kiss on your lips. You melted against him as he held you for a moment. After a minute or two you two seperated and a toothy grin spread across Swiss’ masked face.
“I can’t believe you got lost.”, he teased you. Your face felt hot suddenly.
“Well, you try to navigate through the forest with shitty human senses! Also, you made me spill all of the herbs. We will have to go find them now.”
“You didn’t have to drop them you know. Could have put them aside gently.”
“Shut up, Swiss.”
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bby-deerling · 6 months
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breathe (zoro x reader)
a bit of a heavy drabble i've been going through it lately, please heed the content warnings <3
cw: established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, reader has ptsd, implied history of past sexual trauma (reader), night terrors, dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, zoro is doing his best (it's more than enough <3)
sfw but with some difficult/triggering topics, wc: 652 masterlist
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It’s difficult for Zoro to see you like this.
Tense, disoriented, and pulling away from his touch, his heart twists as you begin to emerge from a murky, hazy dream; less of a nightmare and more of a reliving of the horrors you’ve endured, the too familiar sensations of fear and panic embed their tendrils into your veins.  When the enemy is physical—able to be cut and able to bleed out—it’s much simpler for him to deal with; assessing the unseen threat, he cautiously remains still and observes.  He watches you carefully as something between a cry and a shout escapes your lips, and you violently jerk away from him, still dazed, half-asleep, and unable to differentiate him from the monster from so long ago lurking in the foreground of your mind.
“’S just me—it‘s me, Zoro.” he mumbles softly, running his thumb across your shoulder, grip around your waist loosened.  Breathing shaky and shallow, he gently turns you around to face him, allowing you to take the space you need from him, fighting his urge to smother you in his arms and protect you from your own mind.  Noticing your gaze is unfocused and staring off into nowhere in particular, he gently cups your cheeks and tilts your face upward towards his in an attempt to re-center you in reality.
“Zoro… just Zoro.” you mumble repeatedly under your breath like a mantra, trying to convince yourself it was true.  Eyes glazed over, lost in a limbo between the past and present, you were halfway in, halfway out, and unable to shake the feeling of the violation from your nightmare away—not when it felt like it was happening all over again.
He sighs in concern and threads his fingers through your hair as you suddenly bury your face into his chest, aching and shuddering sobs burrowing into his skin.  A familiar cycle begins; melting into his arms, you become nearly comfortable, limp, and relaxed enough to return to your slumber, until you suddenly shoot your head up to look for his face, desperately searching for confirmation that it was still him holding you—his heart nearly breaks at the dull emptiness in your eyes, the light behind your stare lost, confused and broken.
Laying down on his side, he gently nudges you to encourage you to do the same and face him.  Calloused fingers stroke your cheek, and a wide, rough hand runs in a slow, soothing path up and down your arm, providing you the comfort and contact you craved while still being able to see his face.  “’S alright, you’re safe.  You’re with me.” he murmurs, pressing soft kisses to your forehead, slowly turning your weak and hollow sighs into hums of contentment, and your sounds eventually ebb entirely into deep breaths as sleep finds you once more.
There is no string of magic, comforting phrases or platitudes he can stumble across and repeat to take your pain away—if there was, he knew he was wholly unequipped to recite them, and that you would be too stubborn and resistant to believe them.  Attempts to soothe you verbally fade into nearly meaningless words, especially in a state like this, when your ability to comprehend is clouded by a dense, dark fog smothering your senses.  Soft, non-constricting touches, as gentle as he’s capable of giving, and simple reassurances are what you need—he's what you need in these moments of weakness.
Zoro presses one last kiss to your forehead and releases the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding as he watches your sleeping form, tension and agony removed from your countenance. 
Peaceful—your face now radiates with serenity and sweetness, a far cry from the twisted, uncomfortable expression plaguing your features while writhing in panic during your nightmare.
Relieved at the sight, he hopes your dreams are now as saccharine as the look on your face.
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gingerale13 · 13 days
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Some proper fanart for a very cool fic..
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This is one of my favorite scenes from Going Through The Motions, a really cool (speeding bullet!) fic by @aussie-bookworm on Ao3
Scout gets stuck in a time loop, it's hilarious
Go give it a read!! Click on the title!!^^
(More doodles + plain vers under cut)
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ecstarry · 4 days
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A series of notes passed around between Regulus' and James' dorm. From when Regulus is not okay, until he is.
I’m here
- James
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I know, I’m sorry
- RAB
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I’m here
- James
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i want to see you
i want to see you soon reg
let me see you please
- James
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was that supposed to be a haiku?
- RAB
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let me in and you can correct it
- James
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okay
- RAB
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thank you, Jamie
- Regulus
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i brought more of my bad poetry for you to correct
- James
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roses are red
violets are blue
you're so dumb
but very sweet too
- Reg
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have dinner with me?
- James
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tonight was nice
- kisses, Reg
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let me in, i need to kiss you again
- your James
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