#i love mack (proceeds to never write nor draw him) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

faeriescorpio · 1 year

Text

It Wouldn’t Make A Difference

ao3:https://archiveofourown.org/works/45856459

tw: character talks a lot about suicide and kinda does it at the end in an implied sense but its In Space With markiplier so dying doesnt mean dying

Summary: The Captain gets a little too cavalier with killing themselves to move on to new universes. Mack gets a bit of a scare.

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It's a quiet night. Well, all nights are quiet in space.

You sway to music that even you can't hear, arms out and dancing to an invisible partner.

You're getting kind of tired of this loop. Mark's not here this time, it's Mack. You've had him as your Head Engineer before. This time, you were a on top of it, activating protocols to help the ship instead of opening his pod so that by the time he stepped out of the pod, you had done everything but wake the crew leads. Mack rushed to take action, to take control, of course, but by then you had already placed yourself in a position where you had proven your worth. He couldn't take over so easily, and it left him visibly fuming.

He was likely to find some way to take control by the time you were up tomorrow. You spun your nonexistent partner, catching a blurred glimpse of the glass of the control room that led out to the beautiful stars.

You think that maybe tomorrow morning when you step out of your cryo pod, instead of listening to Mack, you'll just throw the fire hydrant into the window. A quick death that will let you move on in the right direction toward your real head engineer.

"Captain?" You turn to find your head engineer watching you from the hallway, confused.

You thought he was in his cryo pod. Oh well. You suppose it makes sense that he'd be awake. He needs time to start scheming how to take control, doesn't he?

You keep dancing to your nonexistent song. You sway to no tune. There is nothing in your head. It's more like practicing dancing steps than any real moves.

"Captain," Mack says, strangled. "What are you doing?" There's no such thing as embarrassment when no one remembers your actions but you. Still, something drives you to at least acknowledge him.

"Dancing." Impulsively, you turn and reach out a hand. "Care to join? It's not like you'll remember."

"What?" He steps closer despite himself. "What are you talking about?"

"It's okay to dance with me," You repeat. "No one will see. It wouldn't interfere with your plans to take over." Mack makes a startled noise, no doubt surprised that you know about his plans. "Oh shush. As I said. it doesn't matter. You won't remember any of this."

"Why wouldn't I remember this tomorrow morning?"

"Because I'll kill myself," You explain, and the blood drains from his face, and he stares at you. "Then I'll go off to another universe, no doubt one where Mark is head engineer."

"Mark?" Mack looks pale. "Who- who is-"

"None of that." You grab his hand and pull him closer to you.

"Captain!" Mack yanks himself out of your grasp. "Explain yourself!"

Fine. So you tell him some of it. You don't make the mistake of mentioning Mark again, though. You're not quite ready for this universe to break and send you away yet. "The warp core is malfunctioning, and it's going to destroy every universe if I don't stop it. This-" You gesture to the warp crystal in the palm of your hand, and Mack leans forward to see it- "allows me to travel across the universes to try and find the warp core. Sometimes I switch universes randomly, but if I die it always takes me to a new universe."

Mack looks at you, a glimmer of fear in his eyes. "So you've just been killing yourself? Over and over?"

You shrug. "Sometimes it's faster than waiting for the portals to appear."

He grabs you. "Captain," He says, voice low and desperate. "I know that cryo sleep can cause strange dreams, but you can't kill yourself."

You ignore the first part of the statement. It's not the first time someone hasn't believed you, and it won't be the last.

"You need a scapegoat that badly? No thank you." You pull out a small knife you obtained from the murderer version of Mark you met. "It's quite easy. Injuries don't follow me into the next universe. Blood doesn't stay on my clothes. I just-" You raise the knife and Mack smacks it out of your hand.

"No!" He shouts. The knife clatters across the control room floor noisily. It's the loudest thing around.

You follow it with your eyes, and Mack steps in front of your gaze, staring at you intently.

"Captain, please," He says, voice rough, and you look at him. He's sweating, and scared. You don't understand.

"What?" You demand, and he grabs both your hands.

"Please don't kill yourself," he begs. "You- I-" He swallows. "You mean a lot. To- uh. To the crew!"

"To the crew." You say flatly. Sometimes it's true, you suppose. Sometimes the crew remembers what you've done, and they eye you with respect and awe. You're saving the universe. The last time Mack was head engineer, they watched you with hatred. They remembered all the wrong things. You have a certain confidence to you that when you fix everything, they won't remember it at all. Which is good, you suppose. You've been acting a bit like a fool lately.

"To me," Mack amends, and you turn your attention to him, surprised that he would admit it.

"You care about me?" You ask, disbelieving, and he steps closer and instead of saying anything else, he begins to dance with you, following the steps you had been taking with your imaginary partner. How long had he been watching?

It doesn't matter. He won't remember. You dance with him until your feet hurt, and then you keep dancing. Pain isn't real to you anymore. But Mack looks more and more discomforted as you continue, and you think of the fairy tale where people danced until they died. You slow to a stop, then put your hands around his waist.

"What are you doing?!" He yelps as you lift him up and set him down on the main monitor.

"Rest your feet," You reply, and Mack stares at you for a long moment.

"You... you don't feel a thing, do you." His voice sounds miserable.

"No," You confirm. He looks more upset.

"Please don't kill yourself, Captain. You mean a lot to me." Some part of him sounds resigned.

"I can't stay in this universe." Mack hangs his head down, and you almost feel bad. In the dim lighting, with the sweaty shine in his hair, he doesn't look too bad. He looks rather handsome, you admit to yourself.

Eventually, he slides off of the monitor.

"I won't remember any of this?" He asks quietly, and you nod. You're not sure if he actually believes you.

He steps forward anyway. "So I won't remember this." He brings his face closer to yours, hands moving up to cradle your face. His lips meet yours.

He's surprisingly gentle for someone who's going to become a dictator in the near future.

Your eyes flutter shut as the kiss deepens. Eventually, you pull away. Some part of you is disappointed. It might be the most amount of emotion you've felt in quite a while that wasn't a tired determination.

Mack stares at you some more, as if he's trying to commit you to memory. It won't work but you let him try.

"I better see you in the morning, Captain. That's an order," He says, and he steps into his cryo pod. You nod your head and turn to your pod. You don't hear him close his door until you've started to step inside your cryo pod. He must've been waiting. It doesn't matter. The moment you hear his pod close, you step back out of yours and pick up your knife.

You raise your knife.

You were originally going to end this loop early to avoid Mack hurting your feelings.

You're doing it now to spare his.

You've never given thought as to whether you leave some sort of body behind when you switch universes. You're pretty sure you don't.

You pray you don't.

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