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tlouadditc · 9 months

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hate to hate you.

enemies to lovers abby x reader.

a/n: this was an ask but i forgot to put this under it 😭 anyway thank u anon for asking!! this was so fun to write tbh and also i am not a nursing student so idk how any of this works .... hope you enjoy anyway :,) also might write a pt. 2 depending on how this one does!

warnings: 18+/MDNI, men dni either, mean!abby [kinda], super fem!reader, abby's a bully :,((, switch!abby, switch!reader, clothed grinding [?], oral [a!receiving], dirty talk ;), pussy slaps [?], rushed ending because im crocheting, probably more. NOT PROOFREAD AGAIN.

abby has been your rival since middle school. she was always making fun of you- could be how you had lower grades [by a couple points, to be specific], how you always dressed in pink and in skirts and were a "tryhard", literally anything. hell, when she found out you were interested in nursing, she made it a competition to see who could be the better doctor. eventually, the amount of taunting had gotten to you and you started dressing like everyone else and becoming a quieter person.

ever since then, there's been some silent tension between you two. it was stupid, of course, but neither of you made an effort to end the rivalry. every class you had together in high school was a competition to see who could participate the most, get the most praise from the teacher, highest grades- everything. but no matter what you did, you'd always be second to her. once senior year was over, you were free from this hell and decided to finally be your true self in college.

or so you thought.

it was your first day of freshman year. you were doing your makeup in your bathroom, trying to calm your nerves. you've done this multiple times before, you thought to yourself. why am i still nervous??

you were adding little finishes- a bit more blush, curling your lashes one more time, adding a bit of glitter to your inner corner, etc. you check the time: 8:03am. class starts in 20 minutes, and you have to walk! you quickly check your outfit, straightening out your pink skirt and grabbing your bag before leaving out.

the walk to class isn't bad; a little confusing, but there's staff around to help direct new students, so you easily find your class. you walk in as soon as the class starts. to your horror, all the seats in the front are taken. the professor stops her introduction and walks over to you to speak. "hi, you must be y/n? you're a tad late, but it is your first time here, so i'll let you have a pass. your seat is in the back corner next to ms. anderson."

anderson...? your smile fades as you look towards the seat the teacher is pointing at. there she is- sitting there with her smug smirk and her always-braided hair. fuck my life actually. you turn back to the teacher, crack a small smile, and nervously walk over to your seat.

"didn't think you'd see me, huh?" is the first thing that comes out of abby's mouth, her big smile growing wider after seeing the dread on your face. all you can do is glare at her and get your things out. as you rummage through your bag, you hear the professor say:

"the person you are currently sitting with will be your partner for the semester."

you've LITERALLY have to be joking. the girl who's been borderline bullying you for years is your partner for the rest of the semester?? you debate asking the teacher to change seats, but decide against it.

"can't believe im stuck with you," she mutters, mocking the disbelief on your face. "shut up, abby," you hiss, trying to keep your voice down.

this was gonna be quite a year, huh?

abby was unbearable the entire class. always asking useless fucking questions, moving her braid from one side to another- it all annoyed the fuck out of you. however, to pass this class, you had to work with her and put your feelings aside.

the first assignment was to study and review the human anatomy with your partner. the test on the subject was in a couple of days, making it the first grade of the semester. everyone else in the class was easily discussing plans for studying while you and abby made a horrible attempt for friendly small talk.

"so.. we have a test-"

"i heard."

"goddamnit, abby, i'm trying to pass this class. can you be nice for once?"

"stop staring at me like that and maybe i will."

"i wasn't even- [sigh] just give me your number so we can figure out a time and place. please."

and with that, you two later that night made the plan to meet up at your apartment and study there the next day.

the next day

you spent most of your morning doing your usual routine; cleaning, listening to your podcast, organizing your things- basically a mini-spa day. since abby was coming over, you didn't want to give her any reason to ridicule your space. you also debated on wearing some bland outfit to avoid the bicker, but ultimately decided you shouldn't care anymore. you settled on something casual; a floral tube top, a pink cardigan, and some comfy shorts to match the top. you also threw on some pink bunny slippers to match the ribbons in your hair.

as you finished the kitchen, the doorbell rang. must be abby. you walk to the door, slowly losing your happiness as you turned the doornob. upon opening the door, you see abby, leaning against your doorframe. she's dressed in a black wifebeater and gray sweats. she has a small tote bag and headphones around her neck.

as you study her look, she does the same to you. you suddenly feel small in comparison to her; almost feeling weak in her presence. if you were honest with yourself, in all the annoyance that you felt toward her, you could admit she was hot. she was your lesbian awakening, if you were 100% honest. but since she didn't like you, you suppressed all feelings.

"someone got dressed up," she teases, looking you up and down. "this is just how i dress," you say, rolling your eyes. "come in."

an hour later, you and abby are sitting on your couch, going over flashcards for the test. abby has her information down, of course- you keep missing the same two vocab words.

"you dumbass," she laughs, watching you pout over missing the same word for the 4th time in a row.

"this is so annoying," you say, burying your head in your hands. the frustration you feel is so intense, you feel tears well up in your eyes. you attempt to hide it as abby continues to laugh, but a sniffle gives you away.

"are you- there's no way you're crying right now," abby says, genuine disbelief in her voice. "don't be a crybaby, bun. you can get it."

bun.. ?? what the hell? she's being... nice? no fucking way.

you lift your head, tears running down your face, messing up your makeup as you wipe your face with your hands. abby analyzes your face before sitting back on the couch. she pats her thigh, "c'mere, let me help."

okay, this has to be a dream.

you hesitantly get off your side of the couch and sit on her lap. almost immediately, you feel the warmth radiating off her body, making you shiver a bit. she chuckles lightly, "what, are you scared or somethin'? just trying to help you since you clearly need it." you're still wiping your face, too busy to rebuttal.

she begins to explain. "so, these two are similar, but they aren't the same thing. y'know why? because this one.."

all you can focus on is the amount of contact you two have right now: her right hand slightly touching your inner thigh. her abs resting against your back. her voice, soothing and calming, in your ears. the scent of pine and clean laundry filling your nose. you knew it was wrong, but fuck, you were wet. there was probably a puddle under you by now.

"uh, y/n? you there?"

you snap out of your slutty daze, realizing you're supposed to be listening. "mm, what? can you explain that, uh, again, please?"

she laughs, putting the cards on the coffee table in front of you two. "i'm sitting right here, trying to teach you and you still can't focus that pretty little head on this? god, what am i gonna do with you?"

you turn slightly, face to face with abby. her piercing blue eyes study yours, searching for something. you don't know what comes over you, but you completely turn to face her, move your hands to the sides of her face, and kiss her.

she immediately kisses back, hands finding comfort on the top of your hips. she falls back on the couch, lips still connected as you straddle her lap. you can feel the passion, intent with every kiss you give her. her strong hands push your hips onto hers, grinding through her sweats. a soft moan leaves your lips, giving her the opportunity to insert her tongue into your mouth and deepen the kiss.

you pull back, catching your breath as abby continues to make your hips roll onto hers. "you know how long- hah- i've wanted to do this to you?" she breathes, eyes moving from where you two meet to your flustered face.

you look at her, eyes wide. ".. what?"

"i've wanted to kiss you for forever. wanted to have you close like this. wanted to fuck you. everything." shes now completely focused of your face, trying to read your expression.

"i thought you hated me." you're so confused, you don't know whether to cry, smile, get angry, or whatever.

"fuck- i didn't mean to, i'm sorry," she's desperate, her hands moving to your cheeks to bring you back to her face. "let me make it up to you, yeah?"

after a while, she moves her hand to cup your throbbing cunt, earning a whimper from you. "you're so fucking wet, shit," she hisses, feeling the wet spot on your cotton pink shorts. "who's this for? hm?"

the embarrassment takes over you, making you pitifully whimper as you cover your face. she's quick to swat your hand away and ask in a more demanding voice, "who made you this wet, baby?"

"y-you," you manage to choke out, subconsciously grinding into her hand. she smirks, "good girl."

the praise catches you by surprise, not to mention the way her palm accidentally catches your clothed clit. a soft moan leaves your mouth, feeding into the power dynamic between you two. "oh, you like that name, huh?" she whispers, keeping eye contact with you as she rubs your clothed cunt. "you wanna be my good girl?"

"yes, oh my god-" you're chasing your high, overwhelmed by all the feelings you feel. she hums in response, clearly satisfied by your state. she moves a hand to your face, inserting a thumb into your mouth. you suck on her thumb, moaning around it as your hips stutter against her palm. "you gonna cum f'me, bun?" she coos, not slowing down at all. all you can do is nod, too caught up in the knots forming in your abdomen. "go ahead, pretty girl. cum for mommy."

the name pushes you over the edge, making you clench around nothing in your shorts. abby still has her hand over your cunt, feeling the wet spot grow as you pitifully moan. she talks you through your orgasm, mostly praising you for how good you are to her.

as you catch your breath, she removes her thumb from your mouth and peppers small kisses across your cheeks, releasing small praise in between. once you come to your senses, she's still under you, chuckling at your fucked out state. she mutters something along the lines of 'you're so cute' before you start to giggle with her.

you accidentally grind against her while laughing, making abby whine. you immediately realize you haven't helped her at all, making you guilty. you reach a hand down to her heat, feeling her warm cunt under her sweats. she hisses, hips bucking up onto your fingers. you get up and stand in front of her.

"sit up," you say, catching abby by surprise. she hesitantly sits up, looking suspiciously at you. "what for?" she questions, side eyeing you. you chuckle as you kneel in front of her, placing hands on her strong thighs. you reach a hand up to the band of her bottoms, signaling for them to come off. "m' gonna help you."

if her boxers weren't already soaked, they definitely were now. her face heats up as she shyly takes off her sweats, leaving her in just her wifebeater and undergarments. she puts her knees up to her chest, looking away as you assess the wet patch on her boxers.

"i make you this wet, abs?" you say quietly, pointer finger tracing her slit. she slightly gasps at the contact, slightly nodding to answer your question. "use your words. i know you can do it."

"you do, clearly. you've made me this horny for you for years, so yeah." she's being a brat, acting like she's in charge! you give her cunt a small slap, a small surprised moan leaving her lips.

"act like a brat, get treated like one." she stares at you, surprised that you went from such a submissive state to a dominant persona. you tease her, feeling her sensitive bud through her boxers. she whimpers, gripping onto the couch for any stability. "i think it's about time we get these off," you pull at the top of her boxers, "don't you think?"

she immediately gets up and takes them off, sitting back on the couch. she sits and moves her hips to the edge of the couch to reveal her cunt, glistening with slick. you study her sopping cunt, making her nervous under your gaze. "not so cocky now, hm?" you tease, making her face heat up as she huffs and puffs.

"please t-touch me," she almost whispers, barely able to be heard. you could've let up from here, but you don't.

"what was that? i'm gonna need you to be a bit louder, babe."

she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, swallowing her pride. "please touch me," she musters out.

she was such a pretty site to see, how could you possibly deny her? "okay, baby."

you spread her lips apart, revealing her swollen, sensitive clit. she shudders, cold air meeting her core. she's not sure what to expect until you dip your head down and place a flat tongue on her heat, making her gasp.

her reaction makes you smile; you quickly latch onto her clit and suck, still watching her reaction. she throws her head back, moaning loudly.

"oh, you like that," you say, quickly going back to placing kitten licks onto her cunt. she's overwhelmed with pleasure, loud moans and groans leaving her mouth. when you decide to insert your middle finger into her heat, she's going over the edge, babbling your name and please's. her hand comes down and grips the back of your head, pushing your face deeper into her pussy.

her sounds get you wet all over again, making you moan into her pussy. "s-shit, m' cumming- oh, fuck," she cries, gripping your hair and pulling you closer than ever to her as her heat clenches around your finger. tears are streaming down her face as you continue to lap up her juices. after she catches her breath, you pull her into a sloppy kiss, sharing her fluids in between you two.

"shit," she breathes, pulling away from the kiss, "i'm gonna have to fuck you harder next time."

"next time? oh, we're already making dates?"

"yeah, we're gonna have multiple assignments like this later."

you both laugh and get cleaned up before cuddling on your couch and sleeping in each others arms. :,)

taglist [if you're striked out, i can't tag you!!]: @ellabsweet @digit4lslut @macaroni676 @mostlyhornyandsad @yorlenybaires @Pigwideon

#tlouadditc #abby anderson smut #the last of us smut #abby anderson #abby fluff #abby x fem!reader #abby x reader #tlou smut #brook speaks.. i think #this was so fun to write

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cowboystudies · 2 years

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i chose (highkey unwisely) leave all my school stuff until today while promising C i would clean. i’ve already done laundry (one load in progress), vacuumed the cat room, relocated the litterbox, and took out a little trash.

for the rest of the day i want to:

fix C’s pants

update 2022 book post

put away dishes

M A Y B E do a tiktok clean of my desk

change position of cat tier

organize boxes in bedroom

i think that’s a reasonable amount to push myself. i think im gonna do 15 minute intervals because that’s the lowest on my timecube

done things:

finally cancelled appletv+ subscription

did old navy order

did amazon order

finish/turn in essay

email shauna

quiz ch. 4

when laundry done, hang up

buy leggings + maybe dress? old navy

finish minutes?

video review dropbox

europe map db

fix quilt corner

clean up bedroom

quiz ch. 5

russia map assignment

photo assignment

take out more trash

get to 50% of orc book. i’m still ahead on storygraph but i wanna get to 50% done with my goal before i start work in june

do 2 writing sprints (2/2)

outfit for tomorrow + backpack prep

#to do /

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saturnsummer · 3 years

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the fairytale she never had (will you believe again?)

when sol is invited to a wedding, sol doesn’t think her best friend would follow her.

aka: solhwi attending a wedding

notes: it just struck me one day, and i really wanted them to see each other outside of the law school moments! while law school defines them, they are certainly people with social activities.

i adapted this from a similar prompt i saw from a fic many years ago for a separate fandom, and i always wanted to write something similar. this was honestly not met to be multi-part, but i write too much anyways. so multi-part it will be.

also, it might sound depressing in the initial part where sol is talking about the wedding invitation, but it gets explained later on.

as always, enjoy! any grammar mistakes and all will be taken fully responsible by me!

ao3 link

words: 4135 words

I: 我愿变成童话里, 你爱的那个天使 (i am willing to be the angel of that fairytale you love)

--title inspired by fairytale (童话) by Michael Wong!--

Sol absolutely hates weddings.

She hated the big social crowds, the way drunk men in tuxedos staggered around with women in one arm and a drink in another. She found no purpose in dressing in lavish gowns, then eating dinner for the next two hours without even feeling full.

Sol couldn’t blame anyone but herself for this. She can’t help but remember her mother’s failed marriages. The way her biological father left them in the middle of the night, with all their hard earned savings. The way her stepfather, Byeol’s father, would come home drunk and violent towards her mother. It was a memory she couldn’t erase. More than a decade later, she still wakes up in a cold sweat, worrying for her mother and small Byeol’s life.

She long ago gave up on the concept of love back then. She wasn’t opposed to anyone dating or talking about it, and she certainly didn’t mind short flings. But marriage? Eternal love? The fairytale that everyone hopes to achieve? Sol threw those ideas out of the window.

So when Sol received a thick, cream-coloured card and envelope, embossed with rose gold foil and flowers, a pretty silver wax seal and her name written in careful strokes of a calligraphy brush, she was stumped.

Her friend, Im Jiyoon, was getting married. Jiyoon was a good friend of Sol’s, and they occasionally met up for quick meals. Jiyoon was an accountant and climbing the ranks in her company. They lost contact for a period when Sol was in juvie, but they reconnected when Sol was just starting law school. It was only polite that Jiyoon extended invitations to her high school classmate.

Sol had mixed feelings. The wedding was on a Friday night, which made things good since she didn’t have to wake up early, fitting her schedule properly. But she had nothing to wear. She could borrow a dress and shoes from Yeseul, but the last time she borrowed a shoe from Yeseul, she almost broke her ankle. And she had so much work to catch up on. Yet, not showing up felt rude of her.

Jiyoon was nice, don’t get her wrong. She was smart, resourceful and lovely to be with in high school. Sol wanted nothing more than for her high school friend to marry the love of her life. But she hasn't been to such social events in years, and being so focussed on school, the legal clinic and contributing to her family, she found it difficult to understand why she needed to go, besides doing it out of courtesy.

“What’s that?” A familiar voice pipes from behind, drawing her out of her thoughts. There’s the familiar shuffling of several pairs of feet as Sol turns her attention to the one who spoke. Behind her, was Han Joon Hwi with his bag just being set on the table. The rest of the group was just settling in for another study session.

“Ah, nothing important.” She monotonously says before sliding the card in her files. Joon Hwi’s hands catch the card before she can slide it fully and stop her from hiding it from him, or the rest of the group. The rest draw their attention to the expensive card and Sol only stays silent.

“A wedding? Your friend’s?” Yeseul asks as she picks the card up with perfectly manicured fingers. Turning and feeling the thick paper between her fingers, Yeseul knew it was no cheap manufactured paper. This was expensive, premium, and each card looked handmade from the brush calligraphy.

“Yeah. But I don’t think I’m going.” Sol says as Yeseul returns her the card and successfully stores it away in her bag.

“Why not? Don’t you want to be there?” Joon Hwi asks, cocking his head to the side in utter confusion.

“There isn’t much point, is there? I have school and the legal clinic and things to revise for. And besides, I don't have anything to attend in. I just rather send her a gift and treat her a meal.” Sol simply explains. Everyone bombards her with more questions, but she diverts their attention to her paper and the cases they are reviewing today.

Joon Hwi, however, couldn’t get Sol’s reasoning out of his head. He knew Sol well enough to know how much she values her friends, and that she would be willing to drop everything for a friend. Her loyalty was unmatched. It didn’t make sense that she would be held back by her vanity or school work that caused her to not attend such a joyous occasion.

When everyone is done reviewing the cases and the session ends, Sol is the only one who has her books and papers still scattered all over the table. She still has to review her notes and catch up on a few lectures before she can officially end her day. Joon Hwi was long done, but he stayed put, bringing out a past report he’s done and glancing through it, hopeful to catch any mistakes. The others have headed back or gone to the cafeteria for a meal.

“Han Joon Hwi, you don’t have to stay for me, you know?” Sol says, her eyes not once looking up as she stays concentrated highlighting her book with a fluorescent orange highlight. She sticks it in her hair when she’s done, raising her head to meet Joon Hwi’s eyes. Joon Hwi only smiles, letting his eyes crinkle.

“Why don’t you want to attend the wedding?” Joon Hwi asks, still smiling. Sol scoffs.

“I already said. I’m too busy-” Sol is cut off by Joon Hwi with his teasing.

“You sure? I think it’s about the groom, though.” Joon Hwi smiles brightly, earning an irritated series of clicks of her tongue from Sol, clearly successful in being teased.

“None of that sort! Who do you think I am, Han Joon Hwi?” Sol rebuts back, throwing her eraser across to him in annoyance.

Joon Hwi catches it with a laugh, but doesn’t lose eye contact with Sol. A few moments of silence follow, as she looks at the file with the card. Slowly, she draws the card from her file, holding it carefully between her fingers.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be there. I… it’s my first time going to such a social event in such a long time. And the last time I met Jiyoon was a year ago, back in our 1L.” She says softly, letting her fingers brush her calligraphed name.

“I just… rather not go, you know? Treat her to a nice meal somewhere, maybe a couple drinks. Besides, I’m sure she’s just doing it out of courtesy.” She lets out a light laugh.

Joon Hwi’s heart softens. He’s witnessed Sol in her different elements. The courtroom, where she’s a powerful woman in command, dressed professionally in a suit and hair in a perfect ponytail. The day-to-day her, where she’s comfortably dressed in jeans and her tanned coat, hair in a bun and post it notes on her jacket. She was always so bold, so confident and so full of fire. It never occurred to him that she would be uncomfortable in social events. She was always the life during dinners, with Bokgi. She laughed loudly, engaged in conversations and seemed so comfortable. He remembers how she would help out the old halmeonis with her neighbourhood on some days when he sent her home, or the times she bought ice creams for Byeol’s classmates. She seemed so extroverted, yet so closed off. Eying her, Joon Hwi reaches out and clasps his hand over hers in an attempt to comfort.

“I never went to school events, you know? Especially since juvie made me miss it. When I redid my high school year, I didn’t go too. There wasn’t much of a point, since I didn’t have a date or many friends to begin with. If it was Dan, she would have gone, being the popular girl she was back then.” Sol softly says, a small smile ghosting her face.

She remembers the day prom arrived for her school. She was expectant, hoping that the boy she liked would invite her. Or maybe the girls that she occasionally had lunch with will invite her to hang out. But all she got was a stone cold silence the weeks leading up to prom. When everyone buzzed on what they were wearing to prom night, she silently put on her headphones, drilling herself into her science assignments. Of course, she wouldn’t be invited.

She knew the rumours floating in school. How Dan was the perfect one, how she was the failed one. She knew everyone knew she went to juvie. She knows how the boys snicker at her when she walks past them, or how the girls gossip and whisper when she’s eating her lunch. Besides, it didn't help that she was poor. She can’t even afford a dress of her own, let alone go to the event.

Realising what she’s said, Sol quickly draws her hand away along with the card and slots it away in her file.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to blabber on. You must think it’s stupid, I think so too. Anyways, do you have the notes Professor Kim...” Sol quickly apologises and diverts her attention to her notes. But Joon Hwi was no longer listening. He was shattered by how the woman sitting in front of him has never been treated like how she should be treated. It was no secret to Joon Hwi that he cared for his friends, but cared a little more for Sol. He was the one that left post-it notes on her table and pretended he didn't. She was the only one that he would let steal a mouth or two from his ramyeon. He could read her moods just from her eyes. He wonders sometimes, if he sees her more than a friend.

He won’t hide that she’s beautiful. The way her eyes slant in an elegant fashion, her smooth, slightly tanned skin, and her winning smile that he always found his heart beating faster for. He loves the way she smiles at her extra pickles, the way her eyes light up when she sees Byeol, or the way she argues and practices. The tenacity and desire she has to improve inspires him to work as hard as her.

This is why when Sol spilled the beans, he couldn't help but feel all sorts of emotions. Anger, towards the people in her school, for not realising such a wonderful student. Anger towards her for degrading herself. Sadness, for her not being able to experience such events.

As Joon Hwi ended the session with her and returned to his room, he made a promise to Sol. He’s convinced it will work, and he begins planning in his head.

He will show her the fairytale.

-----

A week passed.

Sol had to give a reply in a few days and she has not figured out what to say. The wedding was in a month. She knew Jiyoon would be busy... Sol figures that she should just treat Jiyoon after her honeymoon, knowing how she would be away with her husband as newlyweds later on.

“Still thinking about the wedding?” Joon Hwi nods at her, her head in her hands. Sol, looking defeated, nods. So much for trying to hide. They were at their pantry area of their dorms, Sol stirring her ramyeon, as Joon Hwi slurps his. It was 3am, and they just finished studying. The next day was a weekend, so it didn’t really matter if they slept late, since they got the privilege of sleeping in.

“What do I tell Jiyoon? I don’t want to sound rude.” Sol mumbles, lazily stirring her soggy noodles.

“Go to the wedding.” Joon Hwi says suddenly, continuously slurping.

“What?!”

“Sol, how many weddings can you even go to in your life? Are you sure you want to miss this one? Besides, you said you haven’t been to social events. Don’t you want to experience it?” Joon Hwi says, adrenaline building in his voice.

Sol falls silent. She can’t deny that she wants to experience the feeling of being dolled up, the fun that everyone talks about, and the enjoyment that everyone goes through. And Joon Hwi is right; she wants to celebrate with Jiyoon. But her fear of social events and the past was holding her back.

Joon Hwi could tell the change in her eyes. He gives a sweet smile, knowing that he said enough to change her mind.

“Joon Hwi, but what if she doesn’t even-” Sol begins doubting herself as she shoots off her doubts and worries. Joon Hwi calms her down with logical reasons, calming her nerves in between his mouths of ramyeon.

“But... I’ll be alone there, right?” Sol asks, her voice so soft, Joon Hwi barely picks it up. Her ramyeon is still untouched, and the noodles have gotten soggy and cold. Sol is silent for a moment, as she realises how right she is, for once. It wasn’t like she could ask a date, she doesn’t even have one. And her friends from the study group were out of the question. They don’t even know Jiyoon. Joon Hwi quickly brings up his bowl to his face, hopefully covering it as he feels the heat rising to his face.

“I’ll be your plus-one.”

Sol’s eyes light up and her head rises. Did she hear that right? Han Joon Hwi, her plus-one?

“Oh, no! No, I didn’t mean it like that! Joon Hwi, no, I can’t-” Sol can’t find the right words to say. He can't? He shouldn’t? He doesn't need to? Sol can’t deduce her own reasonings for this argument. She knows her roommate likes him, and she definitely doesn’t want to be the target of her roommate’s stares if she catches wind of this. Besides, Joon Hwi doesn’t like her. She knows, and she doesn’t want him to get any wrong ideas. He’s her best friend, and confidante. She knows, deep down, his heart is someone else's.

“I want to.”

Sol freezes as Joon Hwi finishes drinking his soup. Placing the bowl down, he does as best as he can to lock eyes with Sol seriously, showing her he wasn’t teasing. No, this was out of his sincere heart. He knows how nervous she gets in a new environment, and him being next to her was bound to calm her nerves just a little more.

Sol could see the genuine care and want in his eyes. She knows this isn’t one of his jokes or teases. For a split second, she catches herself thinking if he meant something more. That going as a date, was more than just keeping her company, but for something to develop…

Her face is flushed red as she looks at her puffed noodles and lukewarm soup. She picks her chopsticks up but is stopped by Joon Hwi’s hand as he shifts the bowl toward him, away from her.

“Get yourself a fresh one. This is the first meal all day, isn’t it?” Joon Hwi calls her out, covering her noodles. Sol wants to argue for her soggy noodles, but she falls silent knowing how he revealed her secret. She hasn’t eaten all day after running reports and studying. Grumbling, she does as instructed and boils another bowl of ramyeon. When she’s back at the table with a fresh, hot, spicy and red bowl, she dives into it, wondering how she managed to survive the whole day.

Joon Hwi only gives a small smile looking at the girl slurping her noodles with delight and looking at her. Joon Hwi wasn’t lying. He did want to be her plus-one for the wedding. He knew that more than just being a comfort for Sol, he wanted to make this one day a day she could look back and smile at. That she could be pretty, relaxed and happy instead of stressing over her grades, exams and family.

“Fine.” Sol says as she continues slurping the spicy noodles. She blesses the spiciness of the noodles, such that she could blame her pink blush on it. Joon Hwi, clearing the cold noodles and getting water for both of them tilts his head in confusion.

“Come with me to the wedding, if you want to.” She mutters softly, almost shy to let him know. To hide her blush and hide her confusion, she lifts the still hot bowl to her face. She drinks the soup, but chokes on the spiciness. Joon Hwi lets out a light chuckle before passing her a bottle of cold water. Sol looks at him with narrowed eyes of annoyance, but graciously takes the water.

As he watches Sol eat her first bowl, then a second, as Joon Hwi munches on some crackers, he only smiles and laughs at whatever Sol was complaining about her reports and her frustrations at her cases that she picked. He lets out comforting words, but is rebutted back with Sol saying he will never get it because he’s smart unlike her.

As he went to bed that night, he only gave a giddy smile, burying his face in his sheets. He scored his point of taking Sol out on a date, and was already counting down. He officially succeeded in the first step of his plan.

The rest of it required a little bit of help. But he knew who to ask.

-----

“Yeseul! What is it that you need to wake me up on a weekend? I was up until 4am last night!” Sol grumbles as she places her phone on speaker, rubbing her eyes. It was 8am, way too early for Sol to process any emergencies. Well, if it was Yeseul, she would do it any time.

“Sorry, unnie. But it’s urgent. Could you meet me in 10 minutes at the lobby?” Yeseul’s bright voice echos. Sol notices her roomie’s bed made, pillows nicely fluffed and sheets tucked in neatly in pure perfection. She isn’t surprised, considering how she gets up early anyways.

“Fine.” Sol says and hangs up, getting a fresh change of clothes and heading to the bathroom to wash up. She throws on a hoodie, grabbing her only tanned ochre coat and grabs her bag, before jogging downstairs to the lobby. There, Yeseul is standing there, with a sling black bag and with one of the many nude heels she has, hair styled to perfection.

“Unnie!” Yeseul waves her hand over. Walking closer, Sol notices two other familiar friends behind as she scoffs.

“Joonhwi? Bokgi? What are you doing here?” She asks, her hand playing with the strap of her bag unconsciously. She was surprised to see Joonhwi, but even more Bokgi, who usually spends mornings sleeping in. Joonhwi only gives his usual cheeky smile and drags a drowsy Bokgi with him out towards to the main entrance of the school. Dumbfounded, Yeseul takes this moment to link her arm with Sol’s as she leads her out and catch Sol up to their agenda today.

“What?! You’re bringing me where?” Sol exclaims, her voice echoing throughout the lobby. Yeseul shushes her as she drags a shocked Sol out of school. Yeseul didn't need the whole school to know where Sol was going.

“Unnie, please? You need a dress for the wedding, and don’t think you are going to go in one of mine or your old ones! Besides, you promised to go shopping with me one day, right?” Yeseul defends herself as Sol sighs.

Yeseul wasn’t wrong. The wedding was just a week away and she had absolutely nothing to wear. She owned a couple pairs of flats, but they were so old, it would be embarrassing to attend with those. And her dresses were either too big or too small. She was so caught up with school after submitting her reply to Jiyoon, that she would have forgotten about the wedding if it wasn’t for the post-it on her bedside wall.

“But...but...” Sol couldn’t find any reasons to counter. She knew Yeseul was right. Besides, it’s a weekend. And they had no upcoming tests or projects, so there was no harm in doing something besides studying in the copy room. She nods, defeated, earning a smile from Yeseul.

“Wait, then why is Joonhwi and- Who’s car is that?!” Sol’s thoughts are cut off when she sees a familiar black sedan waiting by the entrance as Sol and Yeseul just exit. In the car, she manages to see a Joonhwi in the driver’s seat and Bokgi riding shotgun.

“Yah! Han Joon Hwi! Isn’t this my roomie’s car?” She shouts as she strides a couple of steps when Joonhwi rolls the window down.

“She loaned me the car for today. Don’t want you carrying so many things back from shopping today.” He replies curtly. Bokgi opens his passenger side door on the right.

“Bokgi-”

“Noona, sit in front. I’m too tired to watch Joonhwi-hyung drive.” Bokgi mutters before he climbs into the backseat with Yeseul. Sol wordlessly settles into the seat next to Joonhwi, who only looks at her with a smile. Sol catches his odd looks and pauses.

“What?”

“Ready for shopping?” He has his cheeky smile on again. Sol glares in annoyance before turning behind to Yeseul.

“Did you make him drive?” Yeseul shakes her head and spills out her defensive explanation.

“Oppa called me up yesterday! He just said he needed my help to accompany you shopping for a dress!”

“Then, why is Bokgi here? Trying on dresses too?”

“Noona! I’m listening!” Joonhwi only laughs and shakes his head.

“He’s just accompanying me.” Joonhwi says as he begins to drive off.

Well, Joonhwi wasn't lying. He waited till their quizzes and projects were over before executing this. He knew Sol was busy, and had waited for the busy season to pass before calling Yeseul. He explained that he knew Sol would not go shop for a dress, and he needs her help to accompany him and her. She willingly, too willingly, agreed.

Next, he asked Sol B if he could borrow her car, knowing how Sol was not going to go home with just one dress and one pair of shoes when Yeseul was involved. Sol B was skeptical, but just passed the keys over to him. Besides, she was going to be in school studying all day; she didn’t need the car. Bokgi joined in, as Joonhwi couldn’t spend hours on end waiting for the ladies to shop. On further thought, Bokgi just might help him out with something.

“I could go myself with Yeseul. You didn’t have to wake up for this.” Sol mutters just loud enough for him to hear, fiddling with her fingers. Joonhwi returns with a light scoff.

“As if you’ll do it.” Sol glares at him from the side and is ready to punch him, but retracts her hand, knowing she might literally kill everyone in the car. The ride from the school to the bustling heart of Seoul is a rough twenty minute ride. Bokgi takes this time to catch a wink and Sol does the same, but she can't seem to do it.

Something about Joonhwi bringing her out to buy a dress specially made her heart flutter a bit more than usual. She knew that Joonhwi cared for her. The ways that he left rolls of gimbaps and energy drinks as opposed to coffee on her table during her tough days. The moments when he would offer his jacket as a pillow wordlessly when she wanted to rest her head after hours of studying. The unspoken synchronisation between them was just a showing of how they understood each other inside and out.

Sol thought nothing of it. She knew him as long as she stepped into school when he saved her from Professor Yang. They spent almost everyday studying, having classes and eating together. After all, they are best friends, and don’t best friends do this? They look out for each other, right?

He is going to be my plus-one at Jiyoon’s wedding. He’s taking me to shop for a dress.

Sol wonders, truly for the car ride as she stares outside at the blue skies and empty streets of Seoul, if Han Joonhwi meant more than friends to her. If… she wanted more.

Deep down, she couldn’t deny hoping for more. She liked the way he looked at her, eyes crinkled and smiling in half moons, the sweet smile that she couldn’t help but return. She has never had many relationships, considering her experience in school and afterwards. She was just too busy; too focussed. Seeing how this man cared for her just made her feel so… special.

She has never felt that way.

#original by akinosakiya #jtbc law school #law school #jtbc drama #jtbc #joonsola #kang sol a #kang sol a x han joon hwi #solhwi #han joon hwi #netflix #kdrama #wedding #ryu hye young #kim beom #kim bum

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tokyoghoose · 4 years

Text

am i more than you bargained for?

pairing: tetsuro kuroo x reader

playlist: heather - conan gray*, 4ever - clairo, line without a hook - ricky montgomery, melting - kali uchis, slow dancing in the dark - joji, using you - mars argo, she - ed sheeran, make you feel my love - adele, letter home - childish gambino, she's casual - the hunna, i love you so - the walters, notice me (acoustic) - role model, red dress - postcard boy

warnings: angst and lots of it, mentions of sex, mentions self-shaming of image, very breif mention of anxiety attacks

summary: a romantic comedy without the comedy between friends with benefits

announcements!

kuroo is definitely a little ooc in this lmao buuuut this is my first like fic fic in like two years. Im still trying to get back in the groove of things and finding how to write personality again and not be repetitive with my wording. Feedback is welcome!

requests are open! feel free to send them in! i will write for pretty much any anime ive seen and if i haven't seen it, ill watch it! the only reasons i wouldn't is if im uncomfortable or can't write the character. :)

——————

When did relationships become so difficult? The days of making friends on the playground were over and it seemed to hit everyone at the same age. Life was getting harder and people were getting older, and suddenly everything was difficult. Nothing came easy anymore and everyone had to adjust to that.

But now you were just confused.

Tetsuro kuroo stuck to you like glue since middle school. Where one of you went the other was likely to follow. The righthand man, the double trouble duo, and the bane of kenma's existence. And then things got complicated. Strangers to friends to best friends to lovers— friends with benefits. Who would've thought the boy that you played volleyball with on a whim would've become the man who you grew fond of. Sixth grade you would've kicked yourself for the feelings you're experiencing. Oh how you wished you were back in the park that started it all. You wished you could warn your youngerself what's to come.

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks and it made you want to throw up at the thought.

It started in the first year of highschool when you suddenly noticed the shine in his eyes when he talked passionately about something like volleyball or the way he would furrow his brows when concentrated on his assignments. At first it was endearing, really. But the more you hung around him, the stronger the butterflies felt. It was obvious that he had grown into his lanky body. His legs were proportionate to his torso now and his once scrawny arms didn't hang limply at his sides anymore. He had muscle and height now. Gradually you started to notice little things about him that you would never have seen in other people. Like his lopsidded smile that crinkled the corner of his eyes and brought heat to your cheeks, your stomach launching into your chest when he'd bump shoulders and laugh.

You should've just smacked yourself silly then and there when you started to wonder if he noticed little things about you. Does he think of me like i think of him?

Who knew feelings could be so...perplexing. You moved on, shrugging off the crush in your second year to catch bigger and better fish in the sea. Life moved on and you dated other people, simply remaining friends with kuroo. Little did you know one heartbreak would lead you into his bed, playing in the sheets by the end of the year.

He was just so damn compelling. His laughter and his jokes. You fell for it all over again. Deja vu. Stupid kuroo.

———

The third of highschool had been the breaking point. It was a constant cycle of feeling, fucking, and falling in and out of love with the raven haired boy. It was frustrating, especially when he was so damn oblivious. The only person that seemed to catch on was kenma, but he was very little help when it came to pushing away the domestic thoughts. It would never just work out because you wanted it to because tetsuro was dumb.

It's a chilly day out, the sun nice against your skin but the wind was drastic in comparison. Shivers are sent up and down your spine, you wrap your arms around yourself in a hug. Could this boy take any longer? Foot tapping against the pavement, you heave a sigh, nostils flaring impatiently before you spot the tall athlete. With a girl. A girl?

You'd seen her around before and you vaguely remember thinking she resembled the main love interest in a 90s movie or a bratz doll. She's pretty and has a light, airy laugh. Kuroo must've told her a joke of some kind, but he definitely wasn't funny enough for her to have her hands all over his chest. He's giving her a toothy grin and soft eyes. It makes you want to gag.

Who was she anyway?

Not that it mattered because in that moment the fit of rage your body suddenly flug itself into prevented you from hearing anything. Kuroo's pulling off his pullover and drapping it over the pretty girl's shoulders. You can feel your eye twitch and fibgers tingle. He looks bashful as he waves her goodbye and tragically, you don't feel nearly as pretty as you had been feeling. Now all you wanted to do was sink into the ground below you and possibly into another dimension—or at least the other side of the world.

"She's pretty," is the first thing that comes out of your mouth when he comes over, slouching with his hands in the pockets of his shorts. He had practice this afternoon, you remember. He looks over at you with raised brows, almost like he's surprised yoy said anything or even noticed he was talking to another girl before walking towards the gym with you trailing close behind.

"Yeah she is, I guess."

She's prettier than me.

"You guess? Kuroo, you gave her your sweater."

He shrugs sheepishly, a light pink dusting his cheeks and it makes you mad of uncharacteristic the act is. You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"It's just polyester. It's not a big deal."

The conversation suddenly drops as you pause, apparently very hurt that he didn't remember it was you who gave him the sweater in the first place. He turns around, a questioning look on his face.

"What? Are you jealous?" He teases.

You're fuming at his attempt to be playful. Maybe you were overreacting, but it pangs your chest to know he can brush it off so easily.

" Kuroo, that was my sweater. "

It's gritted through your teeth, eyes slotted into a glare and his face drops. Oh is all he can think as he stares at you and the hurt expression that quickly turns into that of annoyance and anger. You push past him, ultimately deciding not to walk him to the gym. His arm reaches out to catch you, but it falls short as he calls out in a whine, "I'll get it back for you, okay? Come on, y/n!"

———

You can't focus on the assignments in front of you no matter how hard you try. You are exsausted. Just wanting to crawl under the covers and sleep for maybe a thousand years, you stop tapping your oen against the paper to hyperfocus on the black dots that now littered the page. The music in the background pauses before coming back to life with the hum of a new song shuffling in. It's quiet and yet, it's overwhelming. You wish you weren't home alone now.

Hanging your head low on your desk, the carpet becoming of interest, you groan. The image of kuroo and that girl replaying in your head over and over like an endless movie. You'd have to give it a bad review if it ever ended.

You're focus is mainly on her though. Kuroo could get any girl he wants with his witt and charm. Not to mention he wasn't jusf handsome, but he's beautiful. Model material—movie character love interest type beat. He has the ability to make any heart swoon if he tries hadd enough, and that girl was no exception. She was more than pretty. She was stunning, even. It was like watching human barbie and ken flirt with one another. She seems so nice too and you can vaguely remember her helping you wish a couple answers on homework one morning. She's better than you and better for him. Is he sleeping with her too? Before you can answer your own question the doorbell rings, quickly followed by a knock at your door.

You look down at your pajamas, debating if you should pull on your robe or not, but ultimately deciding against it when the knocks come again.

"Im coming, I'm coming. What do you wan- kuroo?"

When you open the door, you immediately get the urge to shut it right in his perfect little face, and you begin to before his hand slams against it in protest to push it open wider. He juts out his lip into a pout and his eyes soften into ones pleading like a puppy dog. You huff and avoid eye contact, instead taking intrest in the bad he was carrying.

"What's that?"

"Stuff. I'd be happy to show you if you let me in."

"Sorry, tetsuro, no can do. You haven't returned my sweater. "

He scoffs and rolls his eyes before shoving something bulky into your arms. You're not sure if you should be happy he actually got it back or upset that he had to see her again to get it. Finally looking up at him, you move to the side so he can step in.

"You know, you don't have to be jealous that i gave another girl a sweater. You're my number one, y/n." He's teasing, but his words still send the butterflies in your stomach crazy. You can only hope he means it, even if just a little.

"I'm not jealous. You can sleep with whoever you want, kuroo. We're just best friends—if anything im your wingman. "

You want to hit yourself on the head. Why would you say that?

He snickers at the rebuttle, coming to loom over you. Apparently the only thing that can get you out of your head is his cologne because it somehow invaded your senses. He smells expensive, like nice leather and fire wood during the winter. It's very manly, you note. His shadow hovers over yours as he traps you between him and the counter with a playful smirk on his face. How smug could he get. He leans down, bringing your chin up between his thumb and finger. You hadn't realized how close he was until now. Since when did you get so nervous around him? Why did it make you nervous when he kissed you all of a sudden? It's unfair that he holds the advantage. Heat rises to your cheeks and the tips of your ears and you're positive he can hear the beating of your heart, which was currently trying to break out of your chest.

His lips take you to paradise, as always. Their soft against your own, yet firm. They're slightly chapped and they taste like spearmint. It makes your head fuzzy because they feel so right, even when you wish they felt wrong. You want to pull away and kick him out, and end thjs whole arrangement, but you're already very familiar with the fact it's just beginning.

———

The bed is warm. So warm, in fact, it feels like your suffocating. The sheets tangle around your limbs, strangling you as you tangle your limbs around kuroos. You almost want to cry, and if you were anywhere else— with anyone else —you probably would have. The heat is unbearable and the one sided tension makes your stomach churn and your throat tighten up. You were almost positve an anxiety attack was coming on.

Taking a deep breath through your nose, you close your eyes as kuroo's nimble fingers soothe circles into your shoulder blade idly and yet somehow he manages to dodge the purple and red splotches blooming on the flesh. Suddenly you wish you didn't feel so safe and protected in his embrace. The moment almost tempts you to whisper sweet nothings into his ear, but you don't deserve to be the person who does that because you aren't his person. Best friend, maybe (next to Kenma, if anything) but, you aren't his person no matter how you long to be. You're just a friend in his bed having a good time. It isn't as fun anymore.

You swallow a lump in your throat, flattening your hand against his broad chest and willing yourself to lift up out of his grasp, his fingers falling smoothly to stop between your shoulder blades. Looking down at him, he presents you with the soft, goofy look on his face that he always adorns. God, there's nothing you wouldn't give to wake up beside him every morning and kiss that lopsided grin off his face. It hurts to think about, and another wave of tears try to force their way past your lash line. You blink them away and put on a soft, one-sided smile for the man below you, giving him a quick peck where his jaw and neck meet before shrugging his hands off and climbing out of bed.

His eyes track you, lazily hooded and watching, as you take the sheet with you to cover yourself, grabbing your shorts and whatever top you were wearing but a few hours ago before everything was strewn about. You shy away from his gaze, but it's nothing he hasn't seen before. He shifts in the bed to face your back, elbow propped up to lay his head in his hand. With an uncharacteristically soft tone, you almosf don't head him when he speaks. The words that come from him are like honey, yet raw. It's enough to make anyones knees buckle and crawl back into bed.

"Are you okay?"

There's a slight hint of concern there, just hardlg scrapping the surface of the question. You nod with a hum, throwing on the loose shirt before facing him. Kuroo's brow raises like he doesn't quite believe you, but he doesn't take the question further and instead turns to get out of bed. You gnaw at your lip, taking your turn to watch him stretch out. His back has red streaks messily placed down it from his shoulders to the base, his biceps matching. His hair is messy and not like the normal bed head he sports, parts of it are spiked up from fingers constantly pushing through it, while other parts are laid flat from sweat. You can't help the thought that he's sculpted by the gods. They definitely took their time on him. Scoffing at yourself and shaking the thoughts free from your head, you head to the bathroom. As if the bed wasn't suffocating enough, just being the same room was found to be worse when he looks like that. At this point, it was preferred he stayed under the covers.

You feel stupid while looking in the mirror. Your mascara from earlier had smudged beneath your waterline, clumping together in the corner. Your nose curls at the sight, hands splashing cool water at your face, rubbing at your eyes. With a sigh you lean your elbows on the sink, pushing back hair and looking down at the water going into the drain.

This is ridiculous.

How on earth could you do this to yourself and to kuroo?

There's a knock on the bathroom door, it's light and gentle in the typical kuroo fashion because he doesn't want to spook you. You purse your lips, digging the palms of your hands into your eyes and heaving a sigh. As soon as you open the door and switch places, you're up and out of his apartment without saying goodbye.

The cool air of outside hits your face and you hadn't noticed the tears until the damp chill shook you. Brushing them away, you head home. You didn't want to be around him and you certainly didn't want to think about him. On the way back, you finally decided you weren't going to tell him anything. What would dumb tetsuro know about it anyway.

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lveclouds · 4 years

Text

a/n: yet another got7 drabble!! this is going to be a bit angsty, so i apologize in advance and honestly this banner is probably one of my favorites hehe and also this drabble took me a while to type up but it was worth it! and this is very much unedited so if you see any grammatical errors then that’s on me lmao

genre: fluff, angst, college/university au, friends to lovers

rating: pg (for mild swearing)

warnings: light swearing, mild angst,a bit cheesy/cliche (jinyoung’s a huge dork in this hehe think wmylb jinyoung, but like a much tamer and softer version. wmylb jinyoung is uh, very passionate in voicing his opinions, and we love that, its just not fitting for the image that i have for him in this drabble)

pairing: literature major jinyoung x arts major reader

word count: 2.3k

you stared at the glowing laptop screen in front of you, eyes struggling to stay open, lashes fluttering, sleep threatening to take over. you couldn’t help but let out a small yawn, forcing yourself to keep your eyes open. the hardest exam of your life, and one that would have a major effect on your grade, was less than a week away, and you had barely looked at any of the review material. you had been so caught up in finishing your arts project and focusing on raising your grade that the anatomy exam had slipped your mind. and now, here you were, at three o clock in the morning, fighting sleep, trying to cram in information. you couldn’t believe you had been so foolish and careless. anatomy had always been a subject that you struggled in, and because you were stubborn and didn’t want people to think you were pathetic or lazy, you refused your professor’s suggestion to enlist the help of a tutor. you were so confident and sure that you could improve on your own, and well, you had never felt so idiotic in your life.

despite looking over the review material and pouring over pages of the dictionary sized textbook you had to lug around nearly every day, not a single ounce of information seemed to be sticking. the last few days had been spent relentlessly studying countless websites, books, review material, and just about anything that could potentially help you. you were beginning to get a bit stressed out, but you supposed that all of this was because of you. after all, you were the one who had decided to neglect studying for an exam all to work on some stupid art project instead. “just a day in the life.” you mumbled, eyes focusing on the laptop screen in front of you, the blue light illuminating the darkness of your dorm, casting dark shadows onto the white carpeted floor.

sighing, you shut your laptop closed and flopped back onto your bed in defeat, head softly hitting your pillow. there was no use in fighting sleep, after all, you could barely focus and dawn was drawing near, and soon you would have to trek across campus at exactly six a.m. for your early morning history lecture. sleep soon took over and all thoughts of studying and the exam faded away as you drifted off into dreamland.

the next morning, you awoke to a soft knock on your door. groaning, you reluctantly got out of bed and went to answer it. to your surprise, it was jinyoung, dressed in an oversized white turtleneck, dark jeans, and loafers, holding two cups of warm coffee and a light blue paper bag. his soft black hair was adorably rumpled, and despite it being five a.m., jinyoung still looked as gorgeous as ever, which you envied. “oh, hi jinyoung. what are you doing here?” you asked, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. “well, i figured you were up late last night again and i dropped by the cafe down the street, and i thought i’d just come by and give you some coffee. hopefully it’ll give you some energy. oh, and i brought some sandwiches that my roommate made last night. trust me, it’s not poisonous. jaebeom hyung’s a lot of things, and one of them is the ability to make a great sandwich.” you chuckled as he handed over your cup of coffee and the paper bag. “thanks for the coffee and the food. i’ll see you later?” “i-i was wondering if you wanted to walk to class together? “i’d love to. oh, please come inside. it’s a bit messy, so don’t mind all the clutter. i haven’t had time to clean lately.” jinyoung shook his head. “it’s fine. jaebeom hyung’s the same. he doesn’t have time to clean because he’s always so busy with writing music and classes, so i do all the cleaning in the dorm.” you gestured for jinyoung to sit on the couch, to make himself feel comfortable, and then disappeared into your room to take a quick shower and put on a decent outfit.

as you and jinyoung walked across campus, he told you all about the song that jaebeom was working on for the upcoming showcase that your university put on every month. “wait, so he composes his own songs?” jinyoung nodded. “he does, its pretty impressive, if i’m being honest. he’s been writing songs ever since he could walk. jaebeom hyung wants to become a singer one day.” “ i wouldn’t be surprised if he does, he’s really talented.” you had seen jaebeom peforrm a few times, and his voice was smooth and angelic and unique, and you had no doubt that he would get recognized for his singing one day. “so, what’s been going on with you? haven’t seen you in a while.” “ah, well, my professors are bombarding me with assignments and i have an essay due next week, but it’s tolerable, i guess. been trying to take a breather every now and then, get my shit together, the usual. anwyays, enough about me, how have you been doing?”

you grimaced. “well, i haven’t been getting much sleep lately. i kinda got too preoccupied in finishing an art project that i forgot all the about the anatomy exam i’m supposed to take, and it may or may not be less than a week away. so, i’ve been cramming.” jinyoung sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “are you kdiding me, y/n?” you laughed nervously. “uh, oops?” jinyoung shook his head, letting out a defeated sigh. “how long has this been going on for?” “u-uh a f-few days?” you looked away, not wanting to see the frustrated and worried expression on jinyoung’s face, fighting back tears. ever since you had met jinyoung on a particular sunny day last summer, the two of you had gone through a lot together, from comforting each other after breakups to taking care of each other when one of you was drunk. you hated making jinyoung worry, as he had enough to deal with, and you didn’t want to burden him. “why didn’t you tell me you were having a hard time?” he asked, and you forced yourself to look at him, instantly regretting it. his gorgeous brown eyes were filled with concern and a worried frown was set upon his perfect lips, and you immediately felt as if you had been stabbed in the gut. “i-im sorry,i just didn’t want to be a burden.” you mumbled, trying to hold back tears. before you knew it, you were engulfed in a hug, strong arms wrapping around you, holding you tight. you felt jinyoung rub comforting circles on your back, and that alone was enough for you to break down, crying into the soft fabric of his sweater. all the pent up stress you had been holding in was finally let out, and jinyoung just held you, not uttering a single word, listening to your soft sobs. after your tears had subsided, you pulled away, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand, sniffling. “s-sorry about your sweater.” jinyoung waved away your apology. “don’t worry about it, i’m not gonna freeze to death just because you got tears on it.”

“anyways, i’m sorry for not telling you.” “it’s ok, but y/n, please know that i’m always here for you and that you’re never a burden.” you felt your heart ache at how sincere he sounded, and despite his reassurances, you still felt extremely guilty for keeping your feelings locked away.

“i’m a phonecall or a text away, remember that. i’m always here for you, you know that, right?” you nodded. “thank you, jinyoung.” “no need to thank me, y/n.”

after class, you were feeling a bit better, as you had finally sought help from your classmates on the upcoming exam, and they had given you an overwhelming amount of notes, all of which were extremely detailed and well-written. and, as you were walking towards your dorm, you heard a familiar voice call out to you. turning, you saw im jaebeom, music major and jinyoung’s roommate, running towards you, a white envelope in his hand. “hey, you’re y/n, right?” he asked once he caught up to you, a bit breathless. “yeah, why?” jaebeom seemed to brighten at this, eyes turning into crescents as he smiled, gently placing the envelope in your hand. “jinyoung wanted me to give this to you. he’s in the library, working on an essay if you want to see him.” before you could say anything, jaebeom gave you a small wave before walking off to the other side of campus, leaving you speechless. what just happened? you thought as you opened the envelope, careful not to rip it. inside was a delicate piece of paper, with jinyoung’s familiar looping script written all over it.

“dear y/n, ever since we met, i’ve always thought you were bright. for example, your smile. your smile practically lights up your face and makes my heartbeat a little faster. i’m aware this is quite cheesy, but its true. ever since we met, you have been the brightest person in my world, and the one girl who has managed to break down these walls i’ve kept around me for so long. before i met you, i didn’t know what love was, or rather, why people bothered with it. but, that all changed when i laid eyes on you. you were the most stunning girl i had ever seen, let alone meet, and when you said”hi, my name’s y/n”, i felt my world turn upside down, but, in a good way. you were the person who showed me that it’s ok to love. you also showed me how beautiful love can be. it doesn’t have to be destructive or painful or terrifying. love can be exciting and thrilling and life-changing. even though i’m a literature major and have written more essays than i can count, i seem to struggle with words whenever i’m around you, thus why i’m putting my feelings on paper. i like you, a lot. i’ve liked you ever since you bumped into me on that fateful day, you were the one who has managed to sweep me off my feet, quite literally, i might add, and though i am awkward and clumsy and not as mysterious and alluring as jaebeom hyung, i do have some worth. anyways, please meet me in the library after you read this, and if you don’t, then i know that you don’t feel the same. it’s ok if you don’t, but i just wanted to get this off my chest.

sincerely,

park jinyoung

you felt tears prick the back of your eyes as you practically ran to the library, your heart aching. you didn’t know jinyoung felt that way about you, and you were so happy that he felt the same. you had liked him since the beginning, and you had fallen in love with his smile and all of his quirks. jinyoung was easily one of the most attractive guys on campus, with perfect eyebrows, a cute nose, perfectly sculpted cheekbones, gorgeous brown eyes, and one ot the prettiest smiles you had ever seen. his smile was stunning and never failed to take your breath away, eyes crinkling at the corners,perfect white teeth on display. his laugh was endearing and a sound that you would never get tired of hearing. on top of all that, he had a heart of gold, and was unfailingly kind and polite towards anyone, and also very selfless and humble.

as soon as you arrived in the library, you looked around for jinyoung, and immediately spotted him at a table near the back, typing on his laptop, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. you rushed over to him, heart beating wildly in your chest, and cleared your throat, causing him to look up from his laptop in surprise. “y/n?” he asked, practically scrambling off the chair he’d been sitting on, gently grabbing ahold of your wrist. “what’s wrong? did something happen?” you took a deep breath and grabbed ahold of his sweater, the fabric bunching up in your hands, pulling him towards you and kissing him. you felt him jump a bit in surprise, but he quickly reciprocated the kiss, wrapping his arms around you. the kiss was short and sweet, but you enjoyed every minute of it. when you pulled away, a faint shade of pink had settled across jinyoung’s face. “i-i never knew you were so bold, y/n.” he teased, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “i didn’t either, but i had to do it before i chickened out.” “so, does that mean you like me?” you fought the urge to roll your eyes. “yes, of course, jinyoung. i don’t just go up to random guys on campus and kiss them you know.” “i-i just wanted to make sure.” “ah, you’re so cute, jinyoung.” “s-shut up. i’m not cute.” “hmm, yes you are.” “anyways, will you be my girlfriend, then?” “well, considering that i just kissed the hell out of you in the middle of a library, i think it’d be foolish if we weren’t dating after that, so yes, yes i will.”

a/n: hehe jinyoung drabble done!! i hope you all enjoyed this lengthy drabble!! i have two more got7 drabbles to write/post and then i will go back to my planned bts ones :) again, this drabble is dedicated to cara, aka @yongcherie one of my favorite humans ever (sends kisses and hugs) ily angel 💞💞and this is also dedicated to my sister issy aka @taeramisu bc i love her and she’s the one of the loveliest angels ever💖

#mine #not bts #got7

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inkskinned · 6 years

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literally just a dumb unorganized list of school tips

source: im a grad student. i’ve had a lot of school. also i’m adhd & mentally ill and require +8 organization. this is mostly directed @ college students, but maybe high school students can use it too, fuck, idk, it’s been forever since i was stuck in that hell hole

just say “professor” either ur using the correct title for a person (will make them feel good) or you’re giving them a bigger title on the assumption they deserve it (which will make them feel good) and also prevents having to ever i mean ever use their names

talk at least 1 time a week in each class, aim for 1 time a day. even lecture classes. i fucking hate talking in front of more than 5 people, so what i would do is prepare a question about the hw/etc (even if i didn’t need it answered) to ask the professor after class so they saw me and got used to me and saw i was invested in their class. about 89% of teachers - if they see you try, they will pass you. i mean it’s literally that easy. i know people who went from like a c- but because they legit tried, their grade got bumped up to a b-.

if u have to bring a laptop, pre-download the required material/screenshot it, and then turn off your wifi. it’s too easy to not listen.

physical writing will always give you more information recall over typing.

nobody cares about stupid shit anymore trust me they don’t remember that you were accidentally locked in a towel out of your room bc they have their own dumb shit that happened.... in college all the “cringe culture” turns into “god i wish that were me” culture ... wear ur onesie to a party trust me you make +800 friends and 799 of them will be girls telling you you’re adorable and they’d die for you

about locking urself out.... if ur like me and can breeze past post-it notes placed in obvious areas, don’t be a dumb bitch and rely on post-it-notes. while most schools offer 1 free lockout, dont rely on it - it once took 2 hours before someone could get to me. i was in a towel, which meant no phone. so like. anyway, what i do now is i put something on the handle of the door i have to open/unlock. i can’t just open the door w/out the thing falling down and making a loud “you dumb bitch unlock the door before u shower” sound.

this works for all important don’t-forget it things. other obstacles i’ve used to remind myself to do something include: putting a chair with my wholeass posterboard in front of the door, an entire printer with a single piece of paper that just read “for the love of god check to be sure you have that essay”, and a recycling bin i kept forgetting to empty. guess what bitch finally emptied the bin once it was between me and a swift exit!

no offense and like the whole “it’s the best years of your life!” thing is great but in reality everything goes better scholastically when you treat it as “i came here to win, not to make friends.” i still did make friends, went to parties every weekend, was popular enough i’d be invited to several on one night - but i came there to win. when i put my scholastic life and my mental health first, i went from a 2.0 to a 3.98. yes you can, bitch.

you’re spending the money. don’t squander it. trust me when i say i know plenty of people who breeze through, bc you often can. but like. don’t. challenge yourself bc like. talk about an investment.

if you hate your major, change it. don’t make your life something you can’t stand. on that note, do NOT agree 100% to a track until you have at least some experience in the field. i cannot tell u how many ppl i know who got their whole masters/phd program done, walked into their new profession, and were like, Oh Fuck, I Can’t Live Like This.

college literally offers so many free things and if you’re not taking advantage of them whenever possible i get it but like. try to take advantage of them. this is everything from your gym (which probably has free classes dude) to clubs to like. sober events. these sober events are so ... fuckin good dude i’ve made mason jars with little plants in em... bee aviaries... candles.... go to the free stuff

oh ps on free stuff i wanna say about 4 of 5 days there’s free food on campus just look for things like job fairs, presentations, or discussion groups. also while you’re there at the job fair like. u know, go to the job fair in earnest

i took off 2 years to work and also to just. recover from my bullshit. and it took me 6 years and 3 schools to get my bachelor’s. it wasn’t easy but bitch i lived. there’s no such thing as “too long” to graduate if that’s truly what you want to do.

if on the meal plan, eat as clean as you can the first week. then introduce each part of the cafeteria’s possibly-food-poisoning-creating foods one at a time. give @ least 2 days between each experiment so you know for sure if you get sick what caused it. i literally never eat meat at school but you can still get sick off of unwashed lettuce/salad dressing that hasn’t been refrigerated properly/weirdass things you won’t even think of. this prevents like. dying in a public bathroom.

white loaf bread can be gross & boring. discount bakery section for your slightly chewy artisianal bread needs. if overstale, either toast it or dunk it into water and microwave it (unless u got an oven. use the oven if u can)

steal as many apples from the dining hall/events/etc as physically possible just do it they keep FOREVER and @ some point you’ll be like. fUCK i need a nutrition. ps if you’re keeping them in ur backpack (i wouldn’t keep more than 2) make sure to wrap w/a few paper towels so if you drop your bag you don’t get apple mush

write it all down bitch. “i’ll remember it” no you won’t. unless you are capable of remembering every idea on this list and in order, you won’t remember it. in general, if you write something 3 times, you will recall it correctly at least 80% of the time. i also read it out loud to myself, bc, you know, auditory recall

DO NOT just put your assignment at the top of your notes, unless you’re 100% sure that will work for you. in most cases, it’s much better to have a planner/agenda/place you expect to look for assignments. +7 points if you lie to yourself about deadlines and move them all up.

like not to sound too much like a DARE ad but like. if you don’t like it/don’t want it, don’t fuckin do it. the idea that “there’s nothing to do if you don’t party” is such bullshit. like i promise if you’re like “i am a grouch and want to stay in and binge netflix” about 45 ppl will show up in pjs like “bitch fullscreen it, im a grouch too.” there’s also like. the chance to just.... not overindulge. on wednesdays i have “wine wednesdays” where we sit around and drink a glass of wine while we do our hw. it’s chill and friendly instead of like. drink until u vomit. don’t feel like you either gotta slam the breaks or the gas pedal, is what i mean.

PLEASE know the signs of alcohol poisoning/overdose. most schools have a “Safety Always Matters Most” policy, which means that you can call for help w/out getting into trouble. if you think someone is in danger, act. this also goes for making sure ppl get home safe even if they’re just incapacitated, not poisoned. step in, dudes.

also just. notice when ur starting to rely on stuff too much. i’m super easily addicted to things, so i keep a healthy distance from liquor. i don’t let myself “drink to feel better” bc that’s a scary, scary thing to link to feeling better. if you or somebody u know starts drinking all the time/gets anxious if they don’t drink/drinks in the daytime .... get help. schools have counselling services for a reason.

you’re gonna get a cold/flu of some sort in the first 2 months just brace for it. in the meantime, drink vitamin c, try not to touch too many handles, and when people say “there’s something going around” believe them.

watch kaplan nike just do it

if you can teach it, you know the material. a super good way of knowing if you studied the right way is to try and teach the material to a stuffed animal/imaginary class.

“i don’t know how to study” bitch me too the fuck. this is usually bc we’ve been taught that studying is just sitting down and staring @ ur notes. it’s not. it’s different for everyone, and you need to understand it’s 99% preventative care. if you don’t go to the class or do the homework, studying is going to fucking suck, bc you’re learning the material all at once for the first time. the place you should consider “studying” is “i’m confident in 70-90% of the material, but need to review.” do not let yourself fall behind .... just go to office hours and ask questions if ur not getting something. studying should feel like you’re remembering what you already knew but kinda forgot, not like you’ve been blindsided.

the whole “writing it down in ur own words” while u have been told this 700 times it really helps bc it means u gotta translate it through your own understanding. if you can’t, and it’s not bc the material seems too obvious to you to state in another way - ask yourself if you don’t understand the material. chances are u are missing a bit of info.

i know it’s like A Thing that Some People do but i never had the mental health points for it but i know some people just take 15 minutes after every class to review their notes. since i’m 100% early to every class ever, obnoxiously so, i try to do it before class. having the last class’s notes up in my head super helps. like. put down the phone i know you’re socially anxious me too but review those notes. chances are if u start flipping through pages other ppl will too. this is also fun bc as soon as you start this whole thing, at least one person will be like “is there a test?” no bitch there’s no test but im gonna be ready when there is!

literally so much of success is fucking posturing i could link about 800 peer-edited studies that show that when a student is expected to do well (and knows they are), they do well. like i literally didn’t change my appearance at all, never bothered to look nice (once winter hits i wear 67 layers all the time), but when i showed up after my 2 years off from school, i presented myself with the whole “i came here to win” vibe and people... really respected me? i mean in hs i remember ppl saying shit like “yeah, well, you aren’t gonna have the homework”. by the time i was in college i had an honest-to-god conversation which included someone being like “so tell me what you’re overachieving at right now” like they just expected it from me. wild.

i live by “bite off more than you can chew, and then CHEW IT” but it’s probably unhealthy. the truth is that i have a lot of energy all the time (lmao adhd!!!) and i used to get told i was “trying too hard” and for a long time (still???) i didn’t (i don’t?) know what that was, you know, bc i had a D average, clearly i wasn’t trying. it turns out i was just. putting all my energy into stuff that wasn’t making me happy like toxic friendships etc. when i decided “nope, all this energy is for me and my schoolwork”..... uhhhhh suddenly i was a golden child and everyone praised my try-hardness ... it’s a fuckt up system tbh

take at least 1 class just for fun. i try to do that every semester. it helps break up all the requirements. if you’re like an engineer and got no time or credits left to spend, try to audit your fun course.

make ur advisor love you i don’t care what it takes make them cupcakes show up to thank them i dONT CARE just do it

the library isn’t always the best place. if i start getting anxious bc i pavlovian train myself that library=work, i find a new place to go to do hw. try to go outside if you can!!! not like where i live bc like it’s snow all the time but try. a little green really really really helps depression.

if you’ve been in the same “Studying” place for 1 hour and haven’t done anything the chances are Something Isn’t Right. first, look @ ur body. are you not focusing bc of some pressing physical need? sometimes just taking a shower and coming back helps. are you uncomfy? are you too comfy and going to sleep? if body okay, look @ the material. do you not understand it? do you just need to switch to a new topic for a little bit? can you find a youtube video that will help you better understand it? make notes on what you don’t get so you can ask in the next class. if it’s not the material, it’s not ur bod, check the Actual Space. sometimes just getting up, going for a short walk to a new place, and trying it there actually? really works? if none of this is working.... try ur brain next. hardest to reset bc like, what, turn it on and off again? i use things like caffeine, a short workout, a nap, or a podcast all to just... give me a little boost.

don’t be afraid to leave. i mean this about class, friend groups, and the college ur at. just get up on outta there if ur not feelin it. i cannot recommend “drop the class” enough. even if it’s a required course see if u can switch the times if u hate the professor day 3 it’s not gonna get better just get the fuCK out

don’t nap in the same position u go to sleep in, nap upside down w/ur head away from ur pillow. don’t ask me why but it works to 1. fall asleep faster 2. make sure u sleep okay at night and 3. wake up less annoyed

on that note don’t ever do anything in ur bed in a sleeping position unless it’s genuinely sleeping in it. body will get confused. just sit up, lazybones.

when/if the library has those therapy dogs during finals week.... just go pet them make the time for it

ask before hugging people, but don’t expect a “yes”

get a backpack that fits and doesn’t hurt ur back u fuckin hippie idc how cool it is to wear ur backpack super low just don’t do it it’s not worth it

the tutoring center is a fucking goldmine.... free essay edits my dudes

bring a fan dorms are always hotter than u expect

switch dorms if u can if u realize ur in the wrong room/wrong roomate like just don’t bother with nonsense

when in doubt, follow preschool rules. tell ppl when they did something cool, just ask when u need help, and be confident even in your mistakes, because at least u tried

#anyway

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arkus-rhapsode · 5 years

Text

Fairy Tail 100 Years Quest Chapter 12 Review

Oh my god... What the heck is even going on?

So our cover page is Natsu and Lucy, and Natsu I hope you enjoy that brain freeze.

So we open on Jellal confronting Touka. We learn like how Avatar was devoted to black magic there was a group devoted to white magic. Now this is cool, but literally if you watch the anime recently, that arc was done in 5 episodes. So this feels really odd on how much effort is being put into it.

Like if there was like something tying into Tenrou or hell edolas, that make more sense, given all thee time on it.

So Jellal describes White magic as a philosophy of nothingness, which that doesn’t make sense. Fans of yugioh gx might compare this the darkness and light in that series and how darkness led to creation while light was subjugation. But Black magic is clearly about ending life or manipulating life. I guess you could dumb it down to all life, but literal Ankherseram black magic is portrayed as nothing but death. So wouldn’t white be about life? I guess nothingness as life without personality isn’t wrong, but this feels like a stretch.

Also, Mashima said anyone could learn any type of magic. So why is that an abnormality? Like if this was Black Clover where you are assigned a single affinity that be one thing.

Suddenly Laxus steps in, and want to make this clear. I don’t exactly hate the idea behind this. That Laxus wants to defend someonew ho is a part of his family, given his new found view on FT, and its using the family aspect of FT on its head. Someone bad could be using FT’s family mentality for personal benefit. Which is interesting.

Okay, well Jellal has a reason, she is suspect and as a guild master he has authority to take her in. However, Laxus you of all people know that people in your guild will still harm it.

On the one hand im torn, the shounen loving half of my brain wants to see this fight. But the logical half says that these two are mature adults with enough common sense to take this to the run knights. And confrontation is over after this page.

Yeah for a chapter named after the two, its got very little to do with theem. Instead.... The worst thing in the chapter happens. We cut to Diablos’ ship and we see this.

Yes you are seeing this right. For people who were saying I was to harsh, calling this a submissive Erza fetish that Mashima is putting out, I ask you read this chapter.

You know I can’t tell if Skullion means this is temporary as in terms of magic, or temporary as Kyria will grow bored, but I do know that this is nothing but sick and tastess. Also props to Madmorel for having some class to be disgusted by the perv in the group. Like that is becoming a rarity these days.

We are guided down to the lower deck where natsu and wendy are being held, the motion sickness keeping them in check.

I’ve been putting this off long enough, its time to rant. This is bull shit. People told me, i was too harsh on mashima, but at the least I thought this was some sort of temporary thing that was meant so Kyria could get a win in a fight, but this might be some permanent magic effect feels disgusting.

Now, people say that this happened cause people would rag on Erza, called Erza fights awful, and that now Mashima is going in the complete opposite dirction. You didn’t like strong erza, fine! Here’s weak Erza, you happy cynics?

But that’s not the case. People didn’t like Erza because she was “too strong” she was someoone who went from this amazing badass female character, to this static friendship speech spewing tool that never truly got any development. Its painful for people to see a character like Erza not grow after she had developed so much in ToH, but it just was never followed through. All the times she won just felt like a poor spectacle without any character behind it.

Now you could say an erza who needs to get her strength back could be character development. No. Cutting away a person’s strength with “magic” is not character development, its forced regression. Its the author literally creating an unrealistic situation bcause he has no idea what to do with her after ToH, hell he can’t even fully commit to a love story between her and jellal.

When Erza came onto the scene, she was cool, in control, yet could over react at times. To see her be pushed to her lowest by ToH and then recover and face midnight in OS, is peak Erza character shining through. That this is how erza’s development deserved to be treated. But Watching Erza crawl on the ground, be spanked, and cry for mercy like a hentai doll, all because of plot convince magic is so gross to me. Its ejecting the Erza that we all love and stripping her of all that personality just for this.

So if you blame this development on people who were too hard on Mashima about how he was writing Erza, I, a critic and very judgemental person, find this worse than any of the nakama power or skimpy armors.

Erza being trapped in Kyoka’s sex dungeon was bad, but you know what, EErza actievly resisted it. She didn’t want to be there aand tried to fight back. It wasn’t handled well, but that t least felt like whatt her character would do in this situation. But this was forced upon her and this is nothing more than an Erza made for this arc.

Also, lets step out of this and look at this from the meta perspective that this is also extremely lazy. In Eden’s zero there’s a villain who is all about subjugating women right now, and Mashima couldn’t be bothered to not let that bleeed into his other work. If that doesn’t scream creately lazy, than I don’t know what will. Also that frog thing in Eden’s zero is actuaally better giveen the fact he’s not mind bending away personality, he’s forcibly turning them in statues to do with what he pleases against their will.

Im not saying this cause im anti ecchi or that im anti mashima, im anti such a hack story writting device that weather you stuck it out as a fan of erza’s till the end of FT or liked her at first but than soured on her, I ask, would you tolerate this? I’m not claiming ownership of the character of Erza, but I am asking do you think that this is worth a character arc because our author couldn’t think of anything better to do with her. You know if you knew Erza was so strong,Ad that in actuality she would sweep away most threats, why did you bring her? I honestly would’ve preferred Jellal and Erza being out of the action cause they had a kid or something. Erza having to pick between biological family and her guild family seems like a better direction to take her character in than this.

To see Erza cry because someone’s magic made her into a slave is so lacking in power than say the sheer emotional weight of watching simon die. Like this is shit is just awful.

We cut to Luccy and here is where I get to credit thee art. Sure Lucy is in a bikini, but what matters in frame is the wounds on her legs. Which is a nice us of having aa skimpy dress and not sexualizing it.

We get a flashback of Lucy realizing Kyriaa took her friends and this is where I give Caramille a big fuck you. Oh sure, this did happen after they showed up, but Diabolos clearly was going to find the place eventually and more importantly, you did fuck all. Like, go screw cause you have contributed literally nothing.

We find out that there is another ship in the area and that Gray is okay because he was saved by you can guess who...

Okay on the one hand, this definitely seems like Brandish’s kind of entrance, but on the other. Fuck you, Hiro. Like she just passed by and saved Gray? Hw? The entire ocean was either freezing or evaporating, what is your range? Also, who is in charge of Alverez? Yajeel? Oi...

Post Chapter Follow up: Its easy to say why I don’t like this chapter. I feel so sick by the sheer amount of laziness and disgust in the slave Erza plot. Like, my god this is so wrong. Not because of the subject, human slavery makes sense in a series aimed at teenagers, but the sheer disrespect that Hiro treated this character, made my blood boil. At the very least in Alvarez, Erza still seemed like she was the same character from beginning of the series.

People who follow me weekly on this review series are probably going to ask when I will stop harping on this Erza thing. Well each week, it somehow get worse and more gross. First time it felt like a cheap win, second it was bad use of domination, now this is full blown fetish material.

As for the brandish thing, I know why she is here, Lucy is literally not strong enough to handle 3 DE’s by herself with a few exceeds, and I’d accept that Brandish reentering the series. But maybe leave out Gray? I guess you could say that this is a subversion of the Musica captured by Doryu, but this feels lazier. You could’ve just made this a big “step up Lucy plot,” but no, had to save Gray, even though Skullion should’ve notice when his magic didn’t actually ash up Gray. Plus think about, if they save save Natsu and Wendy this arc and beat these three dragon eaters, wouldn’t some added bit of tension to the quest be finding diablos’s hideout and saving Gray from the “dinner table?”And I was cool with the kidnapped gray thing, but no, we had to have kidnapped everyone else.Also if he was made small how did he survive the water? Like he’s the size of a pin, he’d drown.

Now the stuff with Laxus and Jellal is actually fairly good Its an interesting take on FTs standards vs the consequences of their past when we are suppose to be rooting for Touka to be extracted. And involving two characters that really have been in the moral gray spectrum make them the most qualified for this subject matter. While i definitely didn’t like the Touka plot at first from how disconnected it was from everything (and it really is kinda shoed in on this point) it still is the more interesting plot. It has more intresting ideas than, “more dragons” and is involving the characters that come off as the most interesting.

Final Verdict: 3/10

There is clearly some interesting idea at work here

However, the way the plotline for the dragon portion of this arc has become a mess

I don’t use this phrase lightly, “Erza literally deserves better than this”

Plot convince playhouse at its finest

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momo-de-avis · 5 years

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tell me more about millais and the whole "steal ur wife and have a happy marriage with her lmaoo" and the whole pedo thing??? im intrigued

At the top of my head and very quickly without bothering myself with checking things online cause I’m a bit lazy sorry (though I’ve been over this story for quite a while, I trust my instinct)

When the Pre-Raphaelites appeared, they were the bad boys of London. Reasons:

1) Fucked around, mostly Rossetti

2) Broke academic rules by painting in excruciating and vivid details that weren’t possible with the naked eye (like Holman Hunt painted every single blade of the grass—your eye can’t see it unless you stare closely at it, so academically, that was ugly)

3) Used redheaded women as models. Now, Victorians were absolute fucking lunatics, but the ideal beauty to them was some corpse-looking Morticia Adams. Black hair and pale skin, was top notch. Blonde, blue-eyed beauty came second, probably. What mattered was the pale skin. It was a trend among Victorian women to paint purple and blue veins to look as dead as possible because the frailty of women in a society that told they literally were good for nothing except breeding was the Latest Trend. Redheads, however, were considered cursed. Case in point: the greatest pre-raphaelite muse, Lizzie Siddal: she was not only a red-head, but her skin was also darker than most prefered. Not that she was anything but a white woman, just not white enough to look like you were already flirting with tuberculosis and ready to die fashionably at 40 (though Lizzie was famous for being constantly sick and bedridden. And addicted to Laudanum, like a good Victorian).

4) Basically what gave them the name: PRE-raphaelite. To explain quickly: academic painting privileged the art that resembled Raphael's paintings: harmonious, made of volumes through precise shadowing, mannerist in its style. Line and drawing prevailed above colour. This is linked to formalism so I’m just gonna wrap it up quickly: drawing was considered the intellectual form of art (because in the 16th century people were like ‘oh, astronomy is a science!’ and 'oh, mathematics is a science!’ and people were like, 'well shit, we gotta find a reason to call arts a science too’ and the Renaissance worked that out by explaining that drawing was basically a form of science. Take Da Vinci). The Pre-raphaelites said: fuck that noise, and privileged colour. They used techniques to brighten their paintings (like a layer of white paint applied to the canvas before they applied the preliminary drawing, which made the colours stand out, and then finished it off with wax varnish, which makes it glow. If you ever see a PR painting live, note just how vivid it is. It looks like it’s never gonna wear off, it’s incredible). So with this, they basically said the Royal Academy was a bunch of piss babies who knew jack shit about painting (the accusation of being dumbasses included).

5) …but to be that guy, you had to LIVE the life. So, if you privilege medieval thinking, lifestyle and theology, what you gotta do? BE that medieval knight Victorians thought were oh so Chivalric. Again, famously, Lizzie Siddal is known to be the bad girl of this revival: she refused to wear crinoline and whatever shit the Victorian ladies wore. She wore loose dresses, no corsets and overall dressed like the engravings on Tennyson’s Idylls of the King. She was actually lauded for her commitment like, even Ruskin at one point saw Rossetti as a piss baby rock star wannabe who never finished his shit, but this girl? She committed.

So you see, when these guys popped up, Victorians scowled. BADLY.

But they knew that, to conquer the hearts of promiscuous dandies and hypocritical high-society, laudanum-ridden, arsenic-eating uptight douches and douchesses, they had to get to the loins of one man: most important art critic of his time, single-handedly responsible for elevating William Turner to the True Genius of English Painting: John Ruskin.

Now, just WHO was John Ruskin?

First of all, this little shit was overtly religious. Protestant kind, so you know what you’re in for. This guy studied Turner back and forth, knew everything about him, wrote extensively of his genius and was responsible, as I said, to consecrate him to the memory of British sea painting. Except he purposefully left a bit out, one particular episode of Turner’s life that, to Ruskin’s mind, would ruin his reputation.

Turner was a freak. My man has ENDLESS erotic drawings that go from curious artist look into the Vagina from full-blown pre-victorian porn. And Ruskin kept it all locked away inside his drawer.

The thing was, Ruskin was brought up surrounded by art. This guy looked at Roman statues of women, with their perfectly waxed peepees and toned arms supporting perky breasts and DEAD ASS though this was what women looked like.

So he married Effie Gray, a woman in everything respectable, a prosperous marriage for the good ol’ Victorian lady and dude.

And for the next five years of their marriage proceeded to REFUSE to even touch her.

When the pre-raphaelites pop up, Ruskin attends their very first exhibition and writes them a glowing review. Immediately they go from nut-heads to pop stars. But among them all, it was clear that it was John Everett Millais who was the most talented. So Ruskin took him under his wing.

His first assignment was: paint my portrait. But the pre-raphaelites did something the British academics didn’t: to paint nature, they went outside and painting the motif by looking directly at it. And Ruskin, who praised this mode of making art, had in mind the precise spot he wanted to be painted on: a waterfal or some shit in Scotland, where he owned a cottage.

This cottage was not big. It was actually rather small—you know, in pretending-to-be-a-peasant-is-so-much-fun! victorian fashion. And what does this absolute buffoon does? He invites Millais and his wife Effie in to paint his portrait.

Now I want you to imagine this woman, who has been pushing down 5 years of Horny, putting up with this dude’s shit, enclosed in a tight space with this man—who was older than herself—and incidentally, a handsome looking young fella who paints nicely.

I insist on this thing that Ruskin didn’t touch his wife because he thought women looked like statues because he actually told her. He told her he found her repulsive because—what do you know!!! The peepee’s got some pubic hair! And women menstruate! And like, we’re real fucking things, not Pygmalion's wet dream forged over and over again! She actually wrote a letter to her father detailing this (if you watch the show Desperate Romantics, the scene were Effie confesses this to Millais, the actress is actually reciting this letter word for word).

So when they return to London after the painting is done, they just… Fall in love. I mean, shit, what was she supposed to do?

The face of a man who doesn’t know he’s about to be shit-whipped by his pupil, painted by none other than his protegée, this same pupil.

But remember: no matter what Victorian fangirls say, and whatever that Victorian TV show tries to show you, this society was absolute utter shit for women. Effie Grey presented an annulment proposal to her marriage, and society collapsed on her. She was actually blamed for the fact that Ruskin wouldn’t consummate the marriage. And because she had grown quite close to Millais, she had to prove before the entirety of Victorian society that she was a virgin. Oh, yes. It’s what you’re thinking.

Those open-your-legs-wide-and-let-me-insert-this-not-at-all-friendly-looking-metal-utensil-up--your-private-canal-to-prove-you-are-a-virgin. This, mind you, was back then as utterly humiliating as it sounds now, and to make matters worse, Mr. I-only-fuck-clean-shaven-pussy claimed she was mentally unstable.

Either way: annulment conceded, and she married John Everett Millais. The two went on to a lifelong of fucking and 8 children. Check Millais’ painting Peace Concluded and tell me those two idiots did not die happy together.

I kid you not: until Millais’ death, Effie was socially ostracized. She was even barred from being present in social events where Queen Victoria was, proclaimed by the Queen herself (because remember kids! Victorian society absolutely sucked because it was none other than our favourite imperialist who made it so!) even after she ordered Millais the first Laureate painter. It was only when Millais was dying that in his death bed he BEGGED to lift that stupid shit and she conceded. I just honestly believe Effie didn’t give a shit at this point, because my girl was happy.

So, you ask, what happened to Ruskin?

Don’t think he got off easy lmao. He had his own demise. He wasn’t seen with good eyes after the whole annulment debacle. But of course, being the pissy adult he was, he had to make things worse.

Enter Rose de La Touche.

You see, Rose de la Touche was Ruskin’s pupil. She is, as far as we can tell from his writings, the only woman he ever called attractive and revealed to be attracted to her. When, you ask?

When she was fucking 9 years old, the first time he met her.

He became tutoring her when she was 14. At this point, this ugly ass vulture was way past his 40s. Rose’s parents actually made it worse if my mind doesn’t fail me, but I’m not certain so I won’t address them. Either way, he pretty much groomed her and she grew infatuated with him. He actually made plans to marry her once she turned like, 18 or something, like a good pedo.

The only reason Rose didn’t marry Ruskin? Effie Gray stepped in. Not that she was that interested in what was to happen. The thing was, the reason for the annulment was that Ruskin was impotent, and if he fucked a healthy girl and she got pregnant, she’d be in the shits. But either way, I think it was easy given that he was like 40 years older or some shit. Rose actually declined to marry because she wanted the marriage to be unconsummated, but this time around, ya big Pedo declined! I wonder why was it so easy the first time, and so hard now that he found himself a neat little child to corrupt, right?

At some point, even fucking Rossetti intervened. Now, Rossetti was the rock star of his time: he fucked everything that moved, he got into affairs with the wives of his pupils while Lizzie lingered between life and death at his home, and it took him some 9 years to finally keep his promise to Lizzie and marry her ass. He was the last person you’d expect to say a thing. But you know you’ve fucked up and that you’re a perverted piece of shit when THIS IS THE GUY who steps in to say 'hey, Ruskin, big fan, but you really gotta tone it down cause even I’m not a pedo, pal’.

Now listen: yeah, there’s a lot of speculation about Ruskin’s 'love affair’ with Rose de La Touche. Did he really fall in love with her when she was 9? We don’t know. We don’t care either, because it doesn’t make him any less a fucking pedo. Like, yeah, good art critic, nice theory on the whole Modern Painting book, but this dude had some serious issues.

And there you go

#breakerofvows

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occupationalhazards-series · 5 years

Text

Zero Hour: Track One (A Side)

[image- a drawing of a vinyl record with “Zero Hour A Side” and “Ciela, The Heir Not Quite Apparent” as the text in the center.]

Content Warnings: blood, self injury (in a non self-harm context), referenced child abuse and kidnapping, referenced abusive food restriction

In a stone lined room, a small girl lies in a bed. Her slick navy horns turn indigo in the first hints of sunlight, and the light casts a similar bright violet hue to her aubergine hair. Even the small disturbance of natural sunlight is enough to wake her, eerie mercury eyes snapping open even as her body stays stone still. Her breath pattern changes, but only barely.

She tenses minutely, and waits.

One breath, two, each nearly as silent as the last. Even with her vigilance, she hears no approaching guards and fails to sense the approaching magic of her attendant.

This small assurance is all it takes for her to spring into action, shoving a light blanket and sheet to the foot of the bed. The plain night clothes she wears don’t change at all in the light of the rising sun, their muted cream color remaining dull and boring. Her skin, however, does, the soft bronze shining a bright, magical copper in these few minutes she has to herself.

She drops to her hands and knees just as quietly as she had woken up, and reaches out under the bed. In one smooth motion, she slices her left ring finger on the prepared razor blade and smears the bloody digit on the hidden compartment under the bed. She catches the journal when it falls from the compartment, and shimmies back onto the bed, crossing her legs and settling herself into her morning routine.

First she closes her eyes, recalling and reviewing. Judging by the angle of the sunshine coming through the window, her attendant shouldn’t arrive for at least an hour. It is day four of the week so far, which means... breakfast, then free archive time. After that comes etiquette review, and that precedes sword training.

Joy.

She lets out a sigh and resigns herself. This is the day’s routine, and knowing is far better than not.

Especially on weeks when Lord Prince is around. Her huff isn't even forceful enough to move the longest part of her bangs, but her eyes flash a bright platinum.

Onwards, then. She opens the precious journal far more delicately than necessary, unable to stop herself from feeling the all too important inscription on the inside cover as she reads it aloud.

"To Our Beloved And Adored Hatchling-

May your scales grow strong,

may your magic grow true,

may your stories be told.

We love you."

Her voice is airy, but not light. It has the soft tone of someone who has had cautiousness beaten into them, and the surety of one reading an absolute truth. At this moment, the very edge of night conceding to day, only the latter sentiment matters.

Her steady breath wavers, shaking as she remembers. She wishes she was older when she left (when she was taken)- there simply aren't enough days to recall no matter how far she reaches back into her memory.

Nine years just isn’t enough, especially for her kind. (Yet four years is far too many. Funny how that works.)

She has to steel herself- mentally, of course. The strict dietary regimen Lord Prince makes her keep leaves her far too underweight to brace herself with a full body of scales like her mother.

Every day is too much, and every memory is not enough. It's not a surprise- nothing that happens near daily can truly be labelled a surprise- but it cuts jut the same.

One breath, then another. Moving on, she flips to the back of the book, and then carefully flips forward by several pages. There isn't a single word on any of these pages- just hundreds of tallies, carefully, furiously scratched in. They total in the thousands, and each one represents one day away from home.

Ciela leans over the bed and nearly falls off in her rush to grab the last hidden item from underneath it- a slick and elegant metal dip pen.

She settles back into position, noting the time as she carefully presses one preternaturally sharp fang into her left palm, slowly pulling her palm away and letting the blood well in her hand.

There is no way in all the Courts she'd use something as easily manipulated and identifiable as ink.

The blood of any and every Drake is a powerful magical artifact in and of itself, but the actual substance of an individual Drake's blood is even more useful than that- any Drake could and frequently did hide their secrets with it. (Blood is home. family. secrets. love. self. ancestry. futurepastnow.)

Blood casting is an instinctual, near primitive form of magic, taught to the youngest of hatchlings. But it WORKS.

The simplicity rebounds into strength- there must be a Drake, of sound enough mind to channel magic, and something important enough to spill blood over. Will and blood.

They are all that saves her.

One breath, then another. Focus. She writes in her journal while she can.

Dearest Elders-

I have no good news. I’m not sure I have any news at all. My attendant continues to give me leniences and graces that are sure to get them in trouble. I don’t know why. They gave me a whole bunch of ambrosia berries yesterday. My magic feels bouncy and airy and like I could fly.

I want to unbind my win

Why can’t my magic feel like this all the ti

IM SORR

I am growing, but not enough. My wings are so small I’m worr

I am small even for a human my age. I know I won’t be as big as you, Mother, but you and Father are not small people. My fourteenth winter approaches, and yet the ten-summer children of the archivist are taller. As Dauphin never ceases to mention.

The ambrosia berries were good. I’ve never had something so sweet. They taste like ceremonial wine and frost lightning and honey (It’s no wonder Dauphin pays so much for their wine.)

I want to taste some properly grown by sky fae one day. I’ll share some with you too, I promise. I haven’t grown into a selfish person without you. Not yet

I’m trying so hard , please believe me

I suppose I did have something to tell you today. I’m sorry it wasn’t important. I have to have faith that you still care about unimportant things

me my day.

I love you

-Ciela

She doesn’t cry. There is no one to trust with her tears.

Nothing to do but hide her secrets once more. She cleans her dip pen with the pitiful flames she can muster from her lungs she slips it back in its makeshift hiding place along with the journal. One more drop of blood and a burst of wild magic makes the whole thing disappear to the senses. Her hand twitches, spasming into a fist.

She can’t get rid of her rabbit pulse heartbeat.

So she takes a deep breath, and as she slowly releases it her eyes widen. Her primary, secondary, and tertiary eyelids open, and her irises glow a brilliant platinum.

The world comes into preternaturally sharp focus. Every color, every detail, stands out in sharp relief. It’s not just enhanced vision- truesight reveals magic, hidden or unhidden, wild or controlled.

Ciela takes four careful turns. Nothing can be suspect. Nothing is.

She had to be sure. She nods, satisfied, and changes the flow of excess magic to heal the small abrasions on her hand. It only takes a few seconds- they were no more severe than a papercut.

Pacing and preparations done, she heads over to the window. A hop and a scrunch and she’s settled into the rim of the bay window. She tries to look at the sky, tries to feel the clouds and calls of her own from within her cage. They don’t come to her, and it’s no surprise. She has been looking and reaching for one thousand four hundred and thirty eight days, and the closest she’s come is feeling the faint echoes of a Wyvern Call.

Either the wards are that strong, or the closest of her kin was over a hundred clicks away.

Whatever. At least she can see the sky in this room placement.

She’s too tired to glare, but the look on her face as she stares at the sky she hasn’t felt in years is withering none the less. Ciela sits near perfectly still in the closest thing she gets to tranquility for twenty eight minutes before she heads back to her bed. The stone floor is cold, and she pretends not to feel it.

A soft “pat pat pat” marks her elegant trudge back to bed. Her attendant will be in soon.

She doesn’t sigh as she pulls up the covers. Tears don’t escape without permission. Her mattress isn’t stiff, her blankets aren’t too thin, her skin doesn’t feel frail.

She thinks she’s pretty good at lying these days.

She nods off before long.

When its time for the attendant to come by, Ciela is still dozing. She wakes up just as the attendant reaches out to touch her shoulder. This is no surprise to the attendant- they have been stationed over Ciela for nearly two years, and are well aware she is a light sleeper. “Your schedule has likely been moved around, but your meal is still first on the agenda.”

Ciela nods and walks over to the closet to grab her formal day attire, assigned by the Dauphin’s attellier. She grabs an undershirt and bloomers first, one each out of the twelve identical garments in the wardrobe. Next comes the loose floor length trousers. A dull navy, they match the dark grey hip length wrap blouse’s accent and ties.

“Why? My schedule was just revised.” They turn towards the opposite wall while the young girl dresses. Their voice is low and smoky and androgynous . It seems to echo and gain volume and clarity the closer they get to the shadowy corners of the room.

"Why else? Prince is in a mood today”, they murmur. “He’s always in a mood. My lessons don’t usually get changed because of it.” They sigh, and the shadows around their cloak seem to ruffle. "Mmmm. True. It will hit the public announcements later today-the Crafter's Guild has decreed that all Ranked Crafters are prohibited from engaging in business with the Prince family. Apparently, they’re concerned about the implications of Lord Prince’s recent land acquisitions."

This warrants a pause from the younger of the two- “Really?”

“Mmm. Well, nearly every consultant Lord Prince has warned him against it.”

“ I remember overhearing something about it. Didn’t Lord Prince bid rather aggressively for an old manor that was seceded to the Fair Folk territory nearly three centuries ago?”

“Yes, and he won, too. All of his other bids have been close to Ley Lines, or near enough to another Court’s sacred territory to be just this side of politically... impolite. No one knows what he’s up to, but it doesn’t matter in the short term. This embargo will be a major blow to the business deals his family and the Court of Graves have that are in negotiations.”

Ciela makes an intrigued noise as she pulls on the blouse to tie it. "Wait. I thought that guilds couldn’t declare grievance against specific families without violating Court Law?"

The attendant hums and counters "Service embargoes technically aren't, but they tend to be risky enough anyway. I'd be surprised they had the temerity, but this isn’t a standard case. Can you tell me why?"

Ciela opened her mouth to respond, but remembered to stop and think it out first. Her brow furrowed as she carefully detangled her hair from her horns. Tight, unrelaxed curls at the scalp of her horns always tangled with the wayward stretched waves. "Because... they didn't declare a formal grievance? No, as a guild they couldn't anyway. Not against a whole family... although some might argue that the rule doesn’t apply if there’s only one person left in the family line."

"True, although any of the leading members of the guild could, and that would have it’s own implications." They said this mildly, patient enough to let the kid reach her own conclusions.

She sits down to tie the blouse and mull over her answer.

“Oh! I got it I got it! Because the Crafter’s Guild only forbid their ranking members from collaborating with the Prince family directly, and not every guild member or a specific person.”

She’s finished getting ready, but flexes her hands so she can focus to get a more complete answer. “Prince has been very aggressive in his politics lately. Is it possible the Crafter’s Guild was looking for any way they could find to keep their most skilled members from a contract with Lord Prince? Formal service contracts are supposed to be voluntary; each individual trades-person could choose to interpret such an embargo as ‘the head of the Prince line and all of his close associates.’ That leave most of the Society of Magisters leaders and management without access to some of the most reputable trades-people around.”

The shadows deepen with her attendant’s pleasure at her analysis. Encouraged, she goes on. “ I’m not sure why ethical disputes over land purchases was the thing that made them take such drastic action? If they really wanted to avoid dealing with our guild couldn’t they have publicly taken issue with... most anything Prince has done in our name for the last few years?” Her consternation isn’t all over her face, but is in the increased speed of her hand flexing, her lightly furrowed brow, and the rigidity of her shoulders.

Her attendant sits down with her, warning that they have to leave soon before explaining. “The Crafter’s Guild is one of few guilds that is politically friendly with, but not a subset of, any particular court. They are also one of the most diverse guilds, with members of many Courts, backgrounds, and specialties. The land disputes were probably picked because they would be the most plausible reason on paper. It is well known in certain circles that the heads of the Crafter’s Guild have a grudge against key Grave Court leaders-any other stunt they pull with less legal merit could be construed as as a personal vendetta using a community platform.” Ciela nods, her twitching hands slowing down. “Since they have so many specialists, they can easily claim that associating with the our leader could threaten the livelihoods of the crafters within their own guild by consequence or association.”

Ciela gets up to prepare her school supplies for the day. Some in her bag, for using in the classroom after first meal, the rest laid out on the pitiful desk adjacent to the window. “That sounds like a lot of ‘maybe’. Is there another reason this happened?”

The shadows fluttering around the attendant’s floor length coat seem to languish with their amusement as they too head towards the door. “One of the leaders of the guild flat out hates Lord Dauphin, and the other is loyal enough to her and dislikes our Lord enough to back her up.”

Ciela almost smiles before she steps out the door. Lord Prince hates that nickname. She never has the courage to say it out loud.

It doesn’t last for even a second after she crosses the doorway’s cold vacuous energy. The child’s head dips, her back straightens. They both quiet, and prepare to play their roles.

Both of them know that this fleeting moment of peace is the closest she’ll get to happy for the day.

Both of them will take it. For now.

Thank you for reading this debut! Zero Hour is brought to you by:

Ash Pana (Writing, Design, Pencils)

Jessica Song (Design, Inks, Tones)

Sasha Reneau (Zine/Print Formatting)

#zero hour #light novel #occupational hazards #fantasy #original series #black main character

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pinksausageduo · 7 years

Text

an assignment & an outfit

member: park jihoon genre: fluffy summary: college au! fashionista au! you and jihoon end up getting paired up for an assignment and you end up getting super close, how will he react when you ask him to choose and outfit for a blind date? requested: yes, i’ve combined two requests together!

you were a fashion major at a college, it was your dream to be able to design your own clothing line

it was your final assignment of the semester and you were supposed to run your own pop up shop for two days

it took a lot of preparation to get to that stage but unfortunately for you in the few days before the opening of the pop up shop

the location which the teacher booked for you ended up damaged because of a small fire

and you weren’t able to get another location for your pop up store in such short notice

but your teacher told you to not to worry and that you wouldn’t fail the assignment but you needed to join with another classmate at their pop up store and work together

she said the only person with the similar style of clothes as yours was park jihoon

so she put you two together

you couldn’t help but feel a bit pressured to be paired up with park jihoon

he was the star pupil of the class, he never really talked to anyone, nobody knew whether it was because he was shy or standoffish

but he had a few friends outside of the course

he was also known for his incredible good looks all around campus

anytime he walked into a room girls would start whispering and giving him love struck eyes

you couldn’t blame them he really was handsome

she said she’ll inform him and you can make arrangements about it in tomorrow’s class

you walk into class slightly bummed out as your friend kept talking about how excited she was for her pop up store, you gave her half hearted smiles and short responses

you remember you need to talk to jihoon-ssi so you head your way to his table you progressively got more and more nervous as you approach him

you say shyly with a small smile “hi, i’m y/n, i’m really sorry for the inconvenience of this whole situation, i hope we can work well together though!”

he gives you a small polite smile in return and says “it’s no problem, our location is a really nice boutique which is similar to the type of clothing we designed”

you sigh in relief, happy that jihoon doesn’t hate you for having to share a location and that he’s actually very polite, a bit cold though

you ask him “would you like to meet at the campus cafe later at around 8? to review our designs, the layout of the boutique, the presentation of the clothes and all the minor details?”

you blushed slightly asking him to get coffee with you even if it was only for the course

he replied smiling “yes of course, oh and here’s my phone number so if anything pops up i’ll text you”

you exchange phone numbers and bid each other goodbye

you go back to your dorm and look over all your designs which are all formal attire, most of them being extremely detailed and expensive looking dresses

before you know it, you were at the coffee shop and you hate to admit it but you made sure to put a little more effort into looking good but you couldn’t explain why

you see jihoon already waiting at a table for you

he gives you a warm smile and a wave, you exchange quick greetings

you ask what he wants and he says a cappuccino

you were about to go to the counter but grabs your hand and gently sits you back down

you blush at the sudden skin contact, he says to you with a sweet smile

“no, y/n, I should pay, what would you like?”

“oh no! i should pay, you’ve been so kind about the whole pop up situation” you reply a bit frantically

he smiles at you once more and asks you what you want, you huff and you realise he won’t let you pay and you say a vanilla latte

he comes back with your drinks, you take a sip and you can't help but give a relaxed smile, jihoon couldn’t help but admire how pretty you looked when you smiled

anyways surprisingly to both of you spent hours talking at the coffee shop not just about the assignment but also about all your personal lives

you couldn’t help but feel all warm and fuzzy whenever jihoon smiled at you or you accidentally made skin contact

and jihoon couldn’t stop helping himself wanting to make you smile or laugh no matter how corny his jokes were

he admired your sweetness and enthusiasm for clothes

you both dismissed these thoughts as just initial friendship idiots

anyways both of you decided to meet up the next few days at the pop up store location to organise all the different clothes and make sure everything was in place

jihoon already did heaps of advertising for the pop up store and already had a quite a big following on instagram

you both realised it was closing time

“thank you so much again, jihoon for doing all of this” you say gratefully

“of course it’s no problem, oh wow it’s already 12, let me walk you to your dorm since it’s so late” he says sweetly

“no it’s okay i can walk to my dorm myself” you protest

he just raises his eyebrow and you give in and allow him to walk you home

he beams at you as you agree and you smile back

you talk as you walk and whenever you accidentally brush hands you couldn’t help but blush

jihoon on the other hand, a part of him was screaming to hold your hand he dismissed the thought even though he has a really strong urge to do it

you ended up being super cold and shivering and like the gentleman he is jihoon gave you his hoodie

you accept it gratefully as you put it on you can’t help but feel so nice and comfy in his hoodie

you end up at your dorm quicker than both of you wanted

“goodnight, y/n, sleep well” he says softly looking at you straight in the eyes

“goodnight, jihoon, sweet dreams” you reply back

that night you ended up sleeping in jihoon’s hoodie feeling warm and loved

and he ended up of thinking about you, the girl who saved herself in his heart BAHAHA I HATE MYSELF BUT I HAD DO THAT FORGIVE ME

the next few days you and jihoon had a blast

setting up the store was so much fun with him

you’d always joke around and both of you became super close

“YAH! JIHOON STOP HIDING MY DRESSES!!!”

“I DID NO SUCH THING, STOP ACCUSING ME OF LIESSSS”

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU PARK JIHOON”

“YOU WOULDN’T DARE IM TOO CUTE”

you’d scream at each other and it’d end up you chasing jihoon around the store then he would end up chasing you and it’d just be a huge mess

which ended in both of you just laughing on the floor clutching your stomachs

jinyoung, daehwi, woojin and guanlin would always visit the pop up store

Daehwi and Jinyoung because of free clothes and woojin and guanlin to tease the both of you

guanlin would always say to you “y/n! look at jihoon hyung isn’t he handsome?” while smirking like the little sneaky brat he is

you couldn’t help but blush but you just told him to fuck off

he’d then do aegyo being like “you loveeee mee”

woojin would always be like “you and jihoon look so cute together” but you couldn’t get mad at him because he actually meant it and like not really teasing

daehwi and jinyoung always just complimented on your clothes and how you were so much better than jihoon

you’d always smile at them sweetly while smirking at jihoon who just pouted and muttered little shits under his breath

anyways pop up weekend

the store was a huge success

you and jihoon selling every single item of clothing by the middle of the second day

which means you were basically guaranteed to get an A+

you even got a few offers to work at some fashion brands

when the both of you got them

jihoon didn’t even process what he was doing but before he knew it

he whisked you up and spun you around happily I'm sorry for always adding this into my writing it’s just rly cute

but he set you right back down and blushed so red like a tomato

you were also blushing profusely and you couldn’t deny you heart was beating 10x faster than it usually did

anyways your friend texted you saying that she’s making you go on a blind date with this super cute guy so you could get over jihoon

since you basically complained all last night how much you liked jihoon and he could never like you back

you agreed since you really did want to get over jihoon

also a part of you wanted to see his reaction and if he’d be jealous if you told him you were going on a date

as you two were packing the store up you told him

“jihoon-ah, i’m going on a blind date tonight, could you choose me an outfit?” you say as casually as possible

you see jihoon frowning slightly, and a small bit of you feels like there might be a bit of hope

then he grins back at you brightly and that hope instantly dies as he says

“yes of course i’d love to!”

your heart sinks as he says that but you give him a weak smile

unbeknownst to you jihoon is trying to hide his anger, disappointment, and sadness

he finally realised he liked you when anything good happens he wants to tell you first and when anything bad happens he also wants to tell you first

in a matter of days you stole his heart and now it feels like you’re breaking it since you don’t like him back

he’s gonna try and be a supportive friend for you and wait for the feelings to go away

but he completely fails

since he got super jelly

he chooses the most hideous outfit for you and puts it in a bag and tells you it’ll great on you and not to open it until like 30 minutes before the date

you agree and thank him sweetly

even though you’re super bitter and pissed off that he’s completely chill and even supportive on going on a date

anyways 30 minutes before the date you open the bag

and you basically lose your shit

“I’M GONNA WRESTLE THE LITTLE PUNK NEXT TIME I SEE HIM”

your roommate chungha comes sailing into your room

being like tf why you so mad

and then she sees the outfit and she bursts out laughing

“y/n, either he likes you alot and just can’t tell you or he’s being a prick, it’s up to you decide which one.” she says still giggling leaving you in a conflicted state of mind

you look at the hideous outfit

the top was a maroon blouse with about 15 ruffles on each sleeve and a huge bow on the neck

and then the skirt to accompany it was deep purple skirt and platform bright shiny silver wedges to match

you replay chungha’s words in your head and your curiosity can’t help but get the best of you, wanting to truly know if he likes you or not

you cancel the date, basically sprint to jihoon’s huge dorm where he shares it with 10 other guys who you’re all pretty close with

spending hours and hours on your designs and on the pop up store with jihoon you end up being close with them

you bang furiously on the door

and seongwoo opens it

you ask him in a low but threatening voice “where the hell is jihoon?”

he looks at you super confused but also amused since he’s never seen you angry but also can’t wait to witness what jihoon did wrong

and he says that jihoon is in his room

you storm into their dorm and everyone says hi and you just wave back and sungwoon comes into the living room shirtless just as you enter

“SUNGWOON OPPA WEAR A BLOODY SHIRT!” you shout teasingly

“WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE AND DON’T STARE AT MY TORSO, YOU PERV!!!” he screams back at you and lightly whacks you on the shoulder

you just giggle and head towards jihoon’s room glad that sungwoon made you less angry

you open the jihoon’s room door and slam the door shut while throwing the bag which had the outfit on the floor

you uttered one single word “explain”

he looked shocked you were here especially since he thought you’d just think the outfit was a joke and would wear something pretty to go on the date

but seeing your dead serious expression he couldn’t help but help getting super nervous and really didn’t want to lie to you

he was fiddling with his fingers nervously avoiding to look at you completely and stammered

“uh-uh-uh ummmmmm well i-i like you y/n”

your heart was doing backflips but you were so in shock you couldn’t say anything not thinking it was possible he actually liked you back

this completely gorgeous, sweet and amazing guy could possibly like you

then he started rambling his confession

“you’re so sweet and you always make sure to take care of me, you’re also so passionate about fashion and you’re so pretty when you smile. you always make me laugh and smile and i’m always so comfortable around you. i-”

he stops in mid sentence because after hearing all that you couldn’t help but kiss him straight on the lips

it was first rough and passionate but it became much more sweet and gentler, it was a super long kiss and his hands were on your waist, and you arms snaked around his neck

because all the guys were listening into your conversation when they heard a silence they opened the door to find you too kissing and then they started whooping and cheering loudly

you just flip them off while still kissing jihoon damn this is a long kiss

you break apart and all the guys boo

both of you ignore them

and you look at him straight in the eye, noses still touching with his hands on your hips and your arms around his neck

“i like you too, park jihoon”

GIVING A MASSIVE THANKS TO @wannabl because she helped me combine these two requests together (lol sorry for tweaking it a bit) EVERYONE GO FOLLOW HER cause she's a sweetheart and an absolute hoe anyways sorry for doing another jihoon scenario i’m just doing requests in time order so forgive me! plus who doesn’t love jihoon anyways. the next three fics i’m working on is a baejin school fic (which i’ve mentioned in my best friend to boyfriend guanlin fic), coffee shop pt3, and a donghyun fic. I’m so excited to write all three and after i do, requests will be open again!

#wanna one #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #produce 101 #produce 101 season 2 #produce 101 scenarios #produce 101 imagines #park jihoon #jihoon #park jihoon scenarios #park jihoon imagines #lai guanlin #park woojin #bae jinyoung #lee daehwi #ha sungwoon #ong seongwoo

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currentlylurking · 6 years

Text

yknow i like being right about things normally, bc who doesn’t, but not when the thing I’m right about is my regular intrusive thoughts about how people don’t actually like what I do and any positive feedback I get is some sort of Elaborate Conspiracy

idk, i was already stressed about normal shit but now im just like. upset? and even more upset about the fact that I’m so mad about something like this? bc it’s dumb. it’s absolute bullshit. I hate these feelings and want them gone bc being upset about something like this is stupid but it’s also the exact thing I was afraid of happening and it’s just!! no!! don’t prove me right about this bullshit!!

anyway the thing that im so annoying upset about bc it’s just. unbelievably stupid. is the fact that the last sos text chapter I posted hasn’t gotten any reviews when anxiety refused to let me post it for a few months bc I was afraid people wouldn’t tell me what they thought and like. fuckin. I was right. you did it anxiety you fuckin called it.

ao3 gave me one comment and a few kudos, but we went down from 6 reviews per chapter to 0 and this is so genuinely distressing to me?? like it’s not like with connections where i’ve resigned myself to the fact that the people reading it consist of 2 friends and a slightly used napkin. sos text was like. my most popular thing for a while there and I do genuinely love the plot. I love the way the characters are portrayed, I love the conflict, I love the methods everyone tries to use to figure out what’s going on and just. everything about it is so good. I thought people liked it too

weeks my birthday is on have developed a tendency to be shitty and stressfilled so I’m hoping this’ll wear off. and until then I’m just like. focusing on the good things I guess. I’ll be getting a bearded dragon in late june probably. an assignment that was supposed to be due today got pushed back a week. I looked good enough in a dress that i gave one of my friends a gay panic. i think i did decently at the school job fair, and handed out a couple resumes. I’m playing dnd tomorrow.

but just. i don’t know how to stop being upset about this. I write for myself, but I post for the reactions. I don’t like abandoning stuff, and I really don’t want to do that to sos text. I did the trial run on ao3 bc I wanted to be sure that people really were interested, and I thought they were. I really thought they were. but then, where are they?

I mentioned it was my birthday in the notes. if I’d seen someone do that, i would’ve at least left a review wishing them a happy birthday.

#Currently talking #lurking rants

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tanginae · 7 years

Text

Modern!Tropang Nerds Headcannons, Part I

this ended up longer than it should be... also, yes i know it’s weird ‘cuz it’s in English but trust me, i realized that mistake too late and i apologize

anyway, it’s under the cut because i got little carried away

BASILIO:

His eyes are black, but theyre anything but boring: his gaze can pull even the toughest of people in, either fascinating them or scaring them; and Isagani's probably written a verse or two about them after he sees how gorgeous they are (Basilio probs thought it was weird, but he still found it flattering nonetheless). Actually very expressive, you just have to know how to look. Has permanent eyebags (from late-night study sessions) and long eyelashes framing them (he gets it from his momma). They may be deep, dark, and mysterious, but the way his eyes light up when he laughs, getting all crinkly and stuff is just… beautiful.

HE WEARS GLASSES. FIGHT ME ON THIS.

His nose isn't too flat, just enough to hold up his glasses so it doesn't slide

His bottom lip and top lip share the same thickness, and are plump enough to make one wonder how kissing them would feel like. Also, he'd probably have the habit of biting off the skin when it gets chapped (dammit basilio get some lip balm)

His usual, stoic face looks otherwise to other people; he gets really surprised when they tell him he scares them. He often gets told he looks like he's going to slice open the next person who bumps into him. He's confused, most of the time, because "im literally not mad, guys?? What??" He also gets told he looks hot. He doesn't know how to react to that

If he looked hot wearing his normal face, he's pretty fucking cute when he's joking around, smiling and laughing. He looks all boyish, easygoing, and mischievous, a far cry from what people see when they first meet him

He's never going to admit this, but he doesn't have to because it shows: he loves dressing up real good. He won't spend too much on clothes, but it's just enough so that he looks like he stepped out of a magazine or something

He looks especially good in hoodies, probably because he rarely ever wears them

His blood is 75% coffee

Loves horror and gore movies only because he gets to point out its scientific flaws, they're practically a weird mix of reviewing and comedy to him

He probably keeps an old picture of him, Crispin, & Sisa for motivation, he looks at it whenever he feels taxed by the shit he's going through

He isn't religious or superstitious, though being raised in the province means he knows a considerable amount of folk tales and urban legends

Science Nerd

He's actually lowkey talkative and loves scientific discourse, get him started on it and he won't be able to stop. Probably loves biology and chemistry

Surprises people by his encyclopedic knowledge of obscure and morbid topics such as the best weapons to kill someone quickly, the most venomous substances know to man, etc. Isagani digs this. He's like a fountain of knowledge for when he needs something scientifically accurate for his writings

Has the patience of a saint

Hates fights and arguments; only a handful of things ever piss him off and it's when a) people use his past against him (the only people who can do this are Simoun and Isagani, and there is no way in hell Isagani's going to do that to him) and b) when people hurt/talk shit about the people he loves and cares for

Has ridiculous big brother instincts; which means he's very protective over his friends and close peers (even more so when they're younger than him)

Probably good at reading people; can detect whether they like him or not

He's that one student who starts assignments and projects weeks early

Never procrastinates

The type to obsess over something (a particularly difficult concept, a lengthy and complicated lesson, etc) until he knows it like the back of his hand

Nervous ticks: it's hard to tell when he's nervous since he's cool as a cucumber, but you'll know it when he fusses over stuff and people a lot more than he usually does

Has ridiculously steady hands that probably never tremble

Probably plays Amateur Surgeon for shits and giggles. He probably also gets four stars on every level, too

Great at handling money; really thrifty and frugal

Lowkey makabayan

Tends to show his affection through the little things; like getting them the food they like, sticky notes with sweet nothings on them, Jollibee burgers with the said sticky notes, stuff like that

He would make sure anyone he genuinely cares about never feels alone or lonely

He takes a little while to get past the initial awkwardness at the beginning of a relationship (any type of relationship, tbh), but when he does he's lowkey clingy as shit. He's going to fuss over them to no end until the other reminds him he has to take care of himself too

Probably gets detached as a defense mechanism when he feels as if people are about to walk out of his life

Highkey independent

He deserves all that is good and pure in this world

ISAGANI

Tall as fuck and bulky as shit, just enough muscle to make my panties drop

Probably has no abs. he's pretty soft and hard at the same time

And because he's bigger than most people, his hugs are The Best™

His eyes are probably a dark brown, framed by perpetual eyebags and rich lashes. Highly expressive, you can always tell what he's feeling just by looking at his eyes. It practically lights up whenever he laughs, smiles, talks about something he loves, that kinda stuff

HE WEARS GLASSES because of all the reading and writing he's doing

His lower lip is thicker than his upper lip, making him look like he's perpetually pouting. He always, always smiles with his teeth showing, and it's pretty much enough to charm the shit out of anyone

HALA TANGINa ANG POGI NIYA

He has chubby cheeks (because I'm assuming he DOES have a little chub), but that only softens his otherwise harsh features

Really nice and likable to everyone he meets, but will literally verbally whoop people's asses when the need arises

Has a low tolerance for bullshit, you know he's pissed when he's dead set on roasting the other person until they're nothing but a pile of ash

He's pretty impulsive, sometimes acting without thinking of the bigger picture (or thinking, in general)

His hands almost always have pencil lead and/or ink stains

Probably owns a fountain pen. That dweeb

Owns a journal where he writes down his writings, but the said writings still end up on loose pieces of paper, café tissues, hell, even his own hand

He keeps his school notes poem-free, but they're anything but immaculate--his handwriting is probably messy and scrawl-y, especially when he's writing down things in a rush

He's only sociable when he needs to be. Otherwise, he's really quiet, preferring to observe people rather than talk to them

He indulges himself in coffee shops (he hates Starbucks, though); he's that one person you see actually reading and writing and/or studying there for hours and hours on end

He can and he will lose days of sleep over his assigned readings

He won't stop until he's finished everything and/or until someone tells him to stop and take a nap or something

He would most likely be a debate team member

He recognizes the oppression of minorities and will actively fight the said oppression; dreams of equality for everyone

Nothing annoys him more than people who claim to be against oppression but end up creating some form of oppression themselves (kinda like those feminists who are, in reality, just misandrists; those kinda things)

Legitimately wants to make his country a better place, and every time he feels exhausted in all aspects he just thinks of the future of his country, the one he's actively working for, and he finds the will to fight and continue

He will literally die for this country when he needs to

Highkey loves the sea and always, always feels at home there

He's a huge beach person

He is definitely the jealous type. However, he never manifests his jealousy in the form of violence, he just cries and/or sulks somewhere

Will willingly lower his pride and apologize even if it's the other person's fault; he almost always wins his arguments but when it comes to his special someone, he would gladly lose bless his soul

Definitely a blusher and would get nervous as fuck over meeting/talking to the person that he liked

He's the type to stumble over his words and sentences whenever he talks about something that he likes; it's a joy to talk to him about the things he enjoys because he's practically vibrating with happiness. It's adorable and contagious

He would be the type to take his bf/gf out on a beach date. If it were in the day he'd organize a little picnic, if it were during the night he'd probably just show them the stars and hold their hand and tell them random little stories he's never told anyone before. He'd make them laugh and it'd be the most disgustingly sweet thing ever

(help I just died writing that)

He's also the type to just… stare at his special someone when they're sleeping, reading, or doing something mundane because he thinks they’re just so damn beautiful and he's lucky to have them

He's also the type to tell them they're beautiful when they least expect it

He can be blinded by his own optimism, and when he's disappointed, it just crushes him

When he stands for or against something, there's no shaking it. His principles are as tough as stone

He's brave, never failing to do what he thinks is right. He's pretty reckless, though

part ii

#el nolibusterismo #basilio #isagani #yes holy shit i just about keeled over when i was writing Isagani's #i love that bitch so much it hurts #also basilio strikes me as someone who looks outwardly serious but it's really the exact opposite #and yeah it's open for discourse i need fic material #this was for a fic im planning to write so that's definitely something to wait for #mongol no. 2 #slightly serious #slightly not

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sweetcron · 4 years

Note

11-97

hhelllll yEAHHHHH HERE WE GO BABIE!!!!!!! THANKS FOR THE ASK!!!

i probably went too hard on all these but....one of my summer classes just finished and i was like yeahahhHhhahah

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

totally depends where i am and how much time i have, but typically ill have yogurt & something small but sweet so i dont go insane

12. name of your favorite playlist?

god right now my favorite is handle without care, which is just stupid songs im into right now

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard, except i always get it caught on shit so typically i just throw my keys in my bag anyway

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

oooo hard one, my initial thought was sour gummy worms, but probably... either that or sour skittles. oh but fuck lemon & black licorice jelly beans together......im excited to have 0 followers & 0 friends tomorrow

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

percy jackson was dope. im trying to come up with another that i even read and frankly cannot

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

honestly i just sit like a fool all the time, but i like to be very reclined and almost horizontal, if im forced to sit more upright i like crosslegged or with my leg(s) pulled up to my chest

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

depends on the season or length of time, recently it’s been my black high top vans, usually it’s my docs. for a long time it was black converse.

18. ideal weather?

i like when it’s a little sunny, kind of overcast, but a little cold, like enough to wear layers but not suffer

19. sleeping position?

on my side, curled up, ideally holding pam(ela indestructable underworld), my adorable stuffed sloth

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

depends on what it is, but I have a planner sort of thing i really like for planning, a sketchbook/painting sort of notebook for more emotional shit and then my twitter that nobody follows and is private for really emotional shit

21. obsession from childhood?

i loved making like..dirt, water, and grass mixtures in an empty gatorade bottle. apparently this is not a common experience.

22. role model?

everyone to an extent, but also nobody. but to pin down a specific person, probably my therapist lol

23. strange habits?

i keep listening to shiny from moana? also i keep wanting to change my hair.

24. favorite crystal?

oh god, i love opal, but i dont know. most are pretty but some are awful. it depends, and id have to look at a million pictures for any resemblance of a legitimate answer

25. first song you remember hearing?

that’s so hard um. i dont remember very early but i do remember hearing crush, crush, crush by paramore and thinking ew crushes are gross even though i had a crush on a dumbass at the time, and welcome to the black parade and crying

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

warm, probably a concert but past that, walking around, going to thrift stores or record shops.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

a concert, again but past that going home, or getting a warm drink

28. five songs to describe you?

oh LORD!!!!! this is hard, but i did my best

1. caught in the middle - paramore

2. grow - muna

3. cool for cats - squeeze

4. cut my lip - twenty one pilots

5. tubthumping - chumbawumba

29. best way to bond with you?

share music with me, be vulnerable and share what is going on with you

30. places that you find sacred?

being in trees and being alone listening to music that means a lot to me loudly

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

i have a mustardy yellow shirt that’s got vertical lines that are raised from the shirt, and then a flared leg jumpsuit sort of thing that’s like plaid, with black and white and grey. then docs, and yeah i love that outfit. adore it. even better with a jean jacket with fleece lining.

32. top five favorite vines?

also so hard but after doing this i think im gonna throw up from laughing so hard

1. dancing puppet

2. get outta your mind

3. cat

4. WAY TO GO PAUL

5. krispy kreme

33. most used phrase in your phone?

that’s a great question, probably me asking people what to do with my hair

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none currently, but always “meat, it’s what’s for dinner”

35. average time you fall asleep?

depends, but usually 10ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

probably some rage meme like brian or whatever

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

depends on what im doing, but usually duffel.

38. lemonade or tea?

arnold palmer babie!! but it depends, usually i’d say tea, i really like lemon ginger (especially pukka but its expensive)

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

i dont know if i’ve had lemon meringue pie, but lemon cake sounds better i think

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i remembered this and it is entertaining, in middle school (i was...prolly 14? 13?) someone said “someone likes uuuu” to me and i was like. “......k” and they were like..... “it’s a giiiiiiirl” and i again, was like “.......k” and so literally, i fucking spent the rest of the class being like, hm! apparently i dont care. and thats how i realized that idc about gender when it comes to liking someone lol

41. last person you texted?

max, @laetan. follow him if u dont i love him

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

women’s pant pockets are cursed. jacket pockets enlighten me, especially when there’s one normal and then one like, on top of that pocket but the entrance is horizontal. that’s my favorite.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all? but let’s rank them

1. jean jacket, my absolute fav, i have like 5 jean jackets and it’s bad. i always want more

2. hoodie, with a jean jacket is even better, but COMFY!!!!

3. leather jacket, look like a badass with one piece of clothing!!

4. bomber jacket, dont have a lot but always make me feel cool

5. cardigan, makes me feel like an old lady, but also really comfy idk. even the worst is amazing

44. favorite scent for soap?

i love lemon, but any fruit is good. or like, vanilla

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi usually....fantasy is usually too much and superhero is usually annoying. unless it’s spiderman. i adore spiderman

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

oversized soft t shirt and like, soft shorts/boxer things

47. favorite type of cheese?

GOAT CHEESE!!! also sharp cheddar and pepperjack

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

pear. i feel like i’m not talked about a lot but people like me and nobody despises me??

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

i really like “you can start over each day” and “only skeleton bones remain” (FUCKING CLIKKIE)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i feel like ive cried laughing so hard, or almost thrown up, but i dont know why, and that’s almost better

51. current stresses?

just general body things, appointments, school in the fall, graduating, etc

52. favorite font?

it depends on what im doing, but i love my own handwriting, i like times new roman, hate arial with a PASSION!!!!! brawler is nice but doesn’t bold well. handwriting fonts are cool too

53. what is the current state of your hands?

left hand’s nails is in silver glitter and right hand’s nails are blue/purple glitter. perpetual hangnails. still a hint of a scar from cutting my hand on a razor, and remnants of blisters from rowing

54. what did you learn from your first job?

that you can be kind and see change without changing the entire world, and that men are creepy as shit

55. favorite fairy tale?

i dont think i have one? max probably has a good one that i’d love. new ask game send me ur favorite fairy tales and ill read them and review them

56. favorite tradition?

my mom makes me a half birthday cake every year, it’s really cute and idk why it warms my heart

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

fuck dude, umm this is hard and also a lot

1. my extreme self hatred!!

2. my extreme concern for other people’s thoughts, just honestly like dressing and listening to whatever and not really caring, ill always care, just not as bad as i did

3. letting go of things and trying to grow because of pain rather than viewing it as a waste of time

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

uhhhhhghaghhaghdshaghdhsaghadshg i dont know this is hard

1. finding dope ass socks at thrift stores

2. thinking creatively and trying to make something stranger than others like it

3. i can draw p well???? i guess? i designed my tattoo does that count

4. winning contests. i won like, 10 last year? like wtf

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

recently it would be life’s a sham and then ur wow, in reference to life’s a bitch and then you die and also shamwow. so that. or just constantly referring to things as bad boys, like. dishes.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

there’s different kinds? but ummmm i dont know, i dont want to google anime types. can i say like a miyazaki movie and be done with it

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

i dont know, can i do a song? bc i really like I’m alive in spite of me recently, also like this graffiti that i say that said 33 might mason men couldn’t put me back together again

62. seven characters you relate to?

oh boy, i asked my gf for help on some

1. nick miller from new girl

2. peter b. parker from into the spiderverse

3. dean mccoppin from iron giant for some reason

4. emile from ratatouille

5. a mix of ben and leslie from parks and rec

6. a weird mix of chris and ron from parks and rec

7. rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid

63. five songs that would play in your club?

1. come down by anderson paak

2. send me on my way by rusted root

3. doses and mimosas by cherub

4. replay by iyaz

5. rap snitch knishes by mf doom

64. favorite website from your childhood?

WEBKINZ!!!!!

65. any permanent scars?

yeaaa got a lot, most prominent are on my legs, partially just stretch marks, and then the one on my forehead from when i got stitches

66. favorite flower(s)?

i love carnations, marigolds, roses, but really anything, fuck

67. good luck charms?

i don’t have any, i used to wear a bracelet my gf gave me but it broke. *insert gif of me trying to remember when it broke and if that’s when everything went to shit*

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

centipede jelly bean. worst thing ive ever had. it wouldn’t go away for a day even with eating other things and drinking water and chewing strong gum. horrible

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i have no idea. truly

70. left or right handed?

i am right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

houndstooth, i really don’t like it for some reason

72. worst subject?

i am oh so bad at writing, it’s really hard for me. but honestly recently every subject is horrible.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

this was mentioned before, but black licorice and lemon. i’ve only had it with jelly beans, so maybe it’s not as good in other formats

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

depends on what it is, if i think a migraine is coming then i take it pretty low, maybe a 4, otherwise i can deal with it up to like a 6 or 7, unless i’m needing to focus

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i dont know when, but i do remember where. i was at a drive through bank in a rental car with my parents and brother in oregon, and i put the tooth in the lid of a plastic water bottle.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

jalepeno potato chips are soooo good but, honestly, tots are the best. mashed potatoes are good too

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

depends on the direction it’s facing and climate, but i’m growing some ivy right now and it’s so pretty and cool. also a christmas cactus that my great great great grandma or something like that started and has been passed down!!!! and a ..... leafy boy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

absolutely coffee from a gas station, i dont trust sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

my school id because i’m smiling. i look stoned or dead in my id.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

i didn’t entirely know what this meant, so i googled both and went oooooooo to jewel tones so. jewel tones.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

i say both, i don’t know which i say more frequently because i live where there aren’t ....... lightning bugs. ore fireflies. whichever. lol

82. pc or console?

i dont game much, but i like my psp a lot, or like a joystick sort of sitchhhh

83. writing or drawing?

dRAWING FOR SURE!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts, i don’t listen to much of either

84. barbie or polly pocket?

can i throw in a third variable of bratz?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

either, but probably mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?

depends on the kind, but i love frosting and cupcakes are fun, so cupcakes.

87. your greatest fear?

that i will lose everyone i love or push them away? eeeee

88. your greatest wish?

to be content and hopefully other people are content alongside me

89. who would you put before everyone else?

honestly my gf, max, and steph. and my mom. yeyeeeee

90. luckiest mistake?

oh god we could go deep or not. probably not. so like, buying pamela, my stuffed sloth

91. boxes or bags?

depends on the situation, but bags are fun, can put patches on them, plastic bags are boring and boxes are useful, help organize or carry lots of things

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

sunlight absolutely, i love it. i then would say lamps are better than fairy lights which are better than overhead lights. fuck overhead lights

93. nicknames?

for me? okay lets GO. delly, delly boi, dell, d, glen, glenjamin, glenny, yenaled. there’s a lot of weird/gross ones that i dont want to share.

94. favorite season?

fall in theory, summer in stability.

95. favorite app on your phone?

wasn’t this already asked? CAUGHTCHA

96. desktop background?

switches between 3 pictures around colorado that my gf took

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

five

98. favorite historical era?

good question, i honestly don’t know. can i say the 80s or 90s? if not like, before racism existed. yeah

#about me #ask #long post #THANK YOU #ask game #anon #was this too long #sorry #also i spent so long on this wtf?!?!?!?!???!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! who am i #anonymous

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letsimpossibletravelerstudentblr · 5 years

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sharionpage · 6 years

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Book Review: “The Christ Who Heals” by Terryl and Fiona Givens

At a recent Sacrament Meeting I heard the following message: “The world tells women to be independent, confident, and educated, but we know women are instead supposed to be chaste, virtuous, and modest.” Sunday School then featured these highlights: “We are constantly under attack from temptation. If we deviate even an inch we can fall! We have to be constantly on guard against Satan.” and “Wearing revealing clothing is breaking the law of chastity. Imagine the shame you would feel if the Second Coming happened and the Savior saw you wearing a sleeveless shirt!” The previous week’s Sacrament Meeting featured an overview of appropriate dress standards for an upcoming EFY activity, an admonition from the Bishop to be more faithful in church cleaning assignments, and a reminder that when people become inactive or leave the Church it’s ultimately because they were offended and are too prideful to repent.

A short time earlier I attended a stake conference in a different part of the world where the topics were (in this order): appropriate Sabbath Day observance standards, tithing, Book of Mormon, missionary work, the importance of “doing” and “obedience,” tithing (again), missionary work (again), and another on missionary work (a third time). At one point a counselor in the Stake Presidency directed a quick comment to visitors: “I know we have many visitors here and we welcome you! We want you to know that of course we’re Christians and we believe in Jesus.” (One wonders why he felt the need to clarify, given the topics that were emphasized in the meeting.)

The visiting member of the Seventy then finished the meeting with an exhortation to be faithful and obedient to home teaching, tithing, and temple attendance because, as he explained, there is no progression from Kingdom to Kingdom in the afterlife. If you are not faithful and obedient to the gospel now, he warned, your path will be forever sealed against eternal life and exaltation.

………………..

Terryl and Fiona’s latest book The Christ Who Heals makes a bold claim: Mormon theological culture has inherited a religious “style” from its Western Christian (Catholicism and Protestantism) antecedents that often serves to obscure its empowering, uplifting, and ennobling truths. In other words, Mormons hear the phrase “philosophies of men mingled with scripture” in their temple liturgical rites and assume that it must be referring to liberal Christians who use the Bible to defend same-sex marriage or political philosophers who argue that the Bible makes a strong case for socialism. Based on my reading, Terryl and Fiona might argue that it also refers to the integration of traditional Catholic and Protestant perspectives of sin, guilt, and depravity into our conceptualizations of Mormon belief and praxis.

One of the book’s key methodologies is the “Hugh Nibley approach”: Terryl and Fiona constantly draw parallels between Josephine Mormonism[1] and early Christian desert fathers, monks, and mystics, especially in the Eastern Christian tradition. These parallels serve to anchor their argument that the Eastern Church’s theological development was much closer to what Joseph Smith taught many centuries later, while the Western Church moved continually toward more cynical and pessimistic view of human nature, sin, death, and repentance. They argue that Eastern Orthodox Christianity represents a path that Western Christianity might have taken, and if it had, would have resembled Josephine Mormonism to a much stronger degree than it currently does.

How, then, did Mormonism shift toward Western Christianity’s notions of depravity, guilt, and sin? Through our language, they argue. Not “language” in the strict sense of speaking the English language (or others), but rather the cultural environment in which we are raised.[2] They argue that since Mormonism emerged in the fertile landscape of early America where Protestantism was on fire (literally in the “burned-over district” during the Second Great Awakening) Joseph had a difficult time breaking his followers out of their strong Protestant conditioning. To this day, they argue, Mormon theology, culture, and practice have a strong bias toward Western Christianity’s orientations toward sin, guilt, and judgment instead of its “true” focus on human potential, advancement and eternal progression.

Why is it this important? Among other things, it matters how we understand the nature of God. Our understanding of God shapes everything else in our religious lives, including our values, choices, and priorities, as well as the way we interact with one another. As Joseph Smith said: “If men do not comprehend the character of God, they do not comprehend themselves.”[3]

Psychological research has also shown that it matters whether one believes in a more “Authoritative” God [judgmental, punitive, strict, etc.] or a more “Gracious” God [friendly, loving, intimate] (see here and here). Those who have a more “gracious” conceptualization of God tend to have better health outcomes, report higher levels of well-being, spiritual health, self-esteem, happiness, etc., to volunteer and engage in their communities, and have lower levels of anxiety, depression, and paranoia.[4] It could be argued, then, that to the extent that Mormon clergy and laity alike embrace a Western Christian view of sin, judgment, and depravity, they are risking the emotional, physical, and spiritual health of those in their communities.

It is in this context that Terryl and Fiona try their best to “move the needle” of the Mormon theological conversation back toward a “gracious” conceptualization of God. As is common in their writing, they draw on scripture, science, literature, and art, as well as theologians from Irenaeus to Origen to Tertullian to Julian of Norwich[5] to bolster their arguments. A sampling includes:

“Salvation is the culmination of our richer incorporation into the heavenly family of celestial beings.” (50)

“Christ … volunteers himself an offering to assume the painful consequences of our injurious choices. Appeasing some abstract justice, or propitiating a sovereign God, is not the point.” (55)

“Atonement is primarily about healing the pains and strains of injured relationships.” (74)

“Zion-building is not preparation for heaven. It is heaven, in embryo. The process of sanctifying disciples of Christ, constituting them into a community of love and harmony, does not qualify individuals for heaven; sanctification and celestial relationality are the essence of heaven.” (78)

“We do not earn heaven; we co-create heaven, and we do so by participating in the celestial relationships that are its essence.” (93)

“We cannot overstate the significance of this shift from accusatory judgment and evaluation to judgment as an awakening of self.” (98)

“Sin is whatever is crippling, destructive of human relations, whatever distorts or hedges up the way of flourishing. Virtue, on the other hand, is wholeness, the measure of our creation.” (102)

I will admit that I struggled with the understanding of the concept of atonement that is presented in The Christ Who Heals. The authors firmly reject the Cleon Skousen view that Christ’s atonement was necessary to satisfy the demands of justice on the part of “intelligences” upon which God’s support depends to maintain his position as God (a view that was popular in late-20th century Mormonism). Instead, as I understood from my reading of the book, they argue that Christ’s atonement was primarily about sharing in our pain so that he could serve as a perfect Healer and to generate the infinite grace necessary to draw and persuade all of God’s children unto him. This is a compelling and exciting view, but to me it begs the question: was an atonement necessary, then? Did our Heavenly Parents already not have the ability to share in and heal our pains? Did they not already have the ability to draw and persuade us back to Them, absent of someone else needing to perform that task or generate that ability? The Skousen view, while in my view wrong, as least has a clear and consistent logic. I finished The Christ Who Heals without a clear understanding of how the authors’ view of atonement ultimately requires a Christ to perform that atonement. (All the more reason, in my view, to move away from a literalistic understanding of Christianity and the atonement and toward a more metaphorical, mystical understanding.)

Perhaps their most important and exciting theological argument is made in the final chapter, where they argue that an overly-judgmental conceptualization of God risks obscuring the bold and radical doctrine of eternal progression. They outline in Chapter 12 that Mormon authorities such as Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Lorenzo Snow, B.H. Roberts, James Talmage, Joseph F. Smith, J. Reuben Clark taught clearly that even though Mormon doctrine believes in an initial assignment to a degree of glory in the afterlife, there exists the potential for eternal advancement, even from kingdom to kingdom. (They further argue that this perspective can be reasonably inferred from early desert fathers such as Origen and Gregory of Nyssa.) It is only more recent Mormon authorities such as Bruce R. McConkie and Joseph Fielding Smith who taught that this is not true, based on an erroneous understanding of the phrase “words without end” in D&C 76:112.[6]

If there truly is the potential of advancement from kingdom to kingdom in the afterlife, it is a radical and ennobling principle: it is never too late. Terryl and Fiona argue that our Heavenly Parents are rooting and cheering for us throughout the eternities, and that the Savior will never give up on inviting, loving, and helping us all on our way toward eternal life and exaltation as we climb the long ladder of eternal progression and improvement. No one who desires will be left behind, even if it takes eternities for them to come around.

The implications of this possibility cannot be understated. This means that everyone who wants to can and will “make it” in the end. While some will take a little longer than others, everyone is on the same journey with the same destination. Vicarious temple work ensures that everyone will receive all the saving ordinances in the end, and so long as a person’s orientation is pointed toward God (or even Goodness), they will for eternity have a standing invitation to progress and learn and come ever-closer to “eternal life and exaltation.”[7] We will all have the “eternal family” that is promised to us, sooner or later, regardless of how far down the road we make it in this life.[8]

………………..

For many people, the day-to-day lived experience of contemporary Mormonism, with its frequent focus on behavioral checklists, institutional maintenance, dress standards, guilt-based persuasions, and obedience over grace, is an environment that they find effective and helpful to them as they seek to draw closer to God and become more like Them, participating in the “co-creation” that Terryl and Fiona describe. For some, however, the contemporary LDS environment has become stifling, discouraging, uninspiring, uninteresting,[9] or in some rare cases, even unsafe.[10]

Terryl and Fiona present what is, in my view, a desperately needed “course corrective” to predominant framings and emphases in contemporary Mormon theological discourse. The Mormon tradition is by leaps and bounds richer for the perspectives they are contributing to the theological conversations and narratives. To be sure, there are local leaders and General Authorities who strive to bring these more expansive and ennobling perspectives to the fore. These framings are, however, usually a strong minority in most corners of Mormondom. The Mormonism that Terryl and Fiona present is, very regrettably, simply not the Mormonism that most members encounter these days in their day-in-day-out, on-the-ground experience with the Church.[11] I therefore fear that their effort to influence the dominant narratives in Mormonism is an increasingly quixotic one as American Mormonism and Evangelical Protestantism become increasingly interchangeable in their outlooks, perspectives, and religious styles. But as a Christian, of course, I value hope, and I hold out hope that, in the end, the Mormonism of The Christ Who Heals will prevail.

………………..

FN1: I use the term “Josephine Mormonism” in reference to Joseph Smith’s version of Mormon theology.

FN2: I whole-heartedly agree with this, by the way. And I might venture to take it one step further. What other understandings or assumptions about God and religion are influenced by our cultural conditioning, either as individuals, communities, or institutions? How much has our understandings of concepts like “church,” “priesthood,” “authority,” “exaltation,” “scripture,” or even “Jesus” or “God” been shaped by the cultural environments in which we were raised and by the languages and assumptions and worldviews that we swim in? (2 Nephi 31:3) How much might our views of gender or sexuality be influenced in the same way? And to take it another step further: Terryl and Fiona argue that Joseph’s ability to bring the early Saints to new truths was constrained by their cultural conditioning, but how much of Joseph’s own theology, revelations, and behavior was also constricted and bounded by his cultural conditioning? If Joseph Smith had been born in India, for example, how might he have understood and conveyed his First Vision experience to his followers? What would the “Book of Mormon” looked like?

FN3: History of the Church, 6:303

FN4: See here, here, here, here, e.g.

FN5: I particularly appreciate that Terryl and Fiona gave Julian such a strong platform in this book. Her Revelations of Divine Love should be required reading for all Christians. That said, I may be biased, as my wife and I named one of our daughters in her honor: “Hazel Julian.”

FN6: The point about “worlds without end” comes from an interview with Fiona on the LDS Perspectives Podcast. She argues that “worlds without end” in the 19th century was used as a title for God, and thus Joseph likely understood this mean: “but where God and Christ dwell they cannot come, where We are [yet!]” I might venture to add that this was a missed opportunity that the book could have taken. What is a faithful Mormon to do when there is very clear evidence that Mormon authorities taught mutually exclusive perspectives on a topic? Or that an authoritative doctrinal teaching is based on an erroneous interpretation of a scriptural phrase?

FN7: A similar argument was featured on this blog in 2015: http://ift.tt/2ASBOtT

FN8: Of course, this presents an awkward paradox. If salvation is truly an eternal opportunity and the door never closes, what is the urgency to faithfully follow the LDS program in this life, especially if someone finds more light, knowledge, hope, and/or faith in other faith traditions (or none at all)? The answer, for Terryl and Fiona, is that they personally find the LDS context most compelling and conducive to learning the lessons of eternity and creating a Zion community. I never found in the book a compelling argument, though, for why everyone necessarily best thrives and flourishes in an LDS context, or what to do if someone finds that active LDS participation is more of a hindrance than a help toward a more abundant spiritual life, especially given that the ennobling and empowering narrative of Mormonism they present is not frequently encountered in most Mormon contexts these days. This seems to be the unanswerable question for Mormon apologists such as Terryl and Fiona and Patrick Mason. It is difficult to simultaneously hold to a near-universal view of salvation while simultaneously arguing for the necessity of a near-universal LDS experience.

FN9: Indeed, the 2016 Next Mormons Survey found that 20% of self-identified Mormons in the United States say that at the end of church they feel “tired or burned out” instead of “spiritually fed and inspired.” This includes 13% of those who attend church regularly.

FN10: See, for example, “The LGBTQ Mormon Crisis: Responding to the Empirical Research on Suicide by Michael Barker, Daniel Parkinson, and Benjamin Knoll”, Dialogue 49(2) as well as my research on Mormon context and youth suicide rates: http://ift.tt/2ASa5cO

FN11: In contrast, I tend to find many of the general positive, ennobling, and universalistic aspects of Josephine Mormonism more often these days taught and celebrated in Mainline Protestant communities.

Book Review: “The Christ Who Heals” by Terryl and Fiona Givens published first on http://ift.tt/2wQcX5G

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