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barnesandrogersfanfics · 4 years

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Home - Part 21

A/N- Thank you to everyone who’s still reading! I think there’s gonna be one more part and an epilogue then this will be done :) 💕

32 weeks Pregnant

"Im so over being pregnant now Wanda you have no idea!" I moaned as we sat in the newly decorated nursery folding the baby clothes id washed through. The extension was finished and Bucky, Steve and Sam had done a great job of doing the twins nursery.

Wanda had been amazing helping me with the girls, i was always so tired nowadays.

"I bet, it looks uncomfortable now. Im glad I'm only having the one!" She laughed holding a hand against her own tiny bump, she and Sam had found out she was pregnant 4 months ago.

"I told Bucky id be the size of a house with these boys! You've seen the size of him so its no surprise is it!" I laughed shaking my head as i rubbed the side of my stomach.

"You okay?" Wanda asked looking concerned.

"Yeah think I've got a foot digging in somewhere.... their running out of room in here now"

"Not long now hun"

"Im counting down the weeks, this whole pregnancy has flown by up until now! Now its taking forever"

"You getting nervous?"

"A little bit, but mostly i just want them here already"

"When is Bucky due back from his trip?"

"Later tonight, it was meant to be tomorrow but he won the case, it all got settled a lot earlier than he thought it would, his driving back tonight"

"Do you want me stay over until he gets home?"

"Its fine Wand his already arranged for Steve to stay when he gets back with the girls and stay until his home"

"Thats okay then, i just didn't want you being on your own"

"Im never on my own lately" i shook my head and laughed.

"Their very protective" she agreed, they had been terrible lately! One of them was always with me incase anything happened. The only reason they weren't here now was because Wanda was here!

"I know they mean well but they are driving me crazy! Every time i go to get up their there! I cant even go to the bathroom without questions"

"That would drive me crazy too! I'll kick Sam's ass if he does that!".

We spent another 30 minutes or so sorting the clothes and other bits before heading downstairs for some tea. Not long after that Steve got back with the girls, he had taken them to the zoo for the day and they all looked exhausted... Steve included!

"Hey you guys, have you had a nice day?" I asked as Allie and Brooke came straight over and cuddled up to me.

"Yeah it was soooo good" Allie smiled up at me before stroking my huge bump.

"Hi baby brothers! I missed you"

"I just felt a kick" Brooke laughed holding a hand to the side of my tummy where i had been feeling it before.

"Looks like they missed their big sisters huh?" I smiled at them both.

"Im gonna head home now Steve's back to keep you company. Call me if you need anything" Wanda said hugging me goodbye before saying goodbye to Steve and the girls and heading off.

It didn't take long for me to fall asleep once Wanda had left. Steve ordered some pizza's for the girls dinner because he didn't want to wake me up, when i finally did wake up the pains in my side were back with a vengeance!

"You okay sweetheart?" Steve asked looking worried.

"Yeah just getting uncomfortable.... would you be okay keeping an eye on the girls while i go take a bath, see if it eases off a bit. They might move a bit so its not so bad"

"Yeah sure"

"thanks Steve" i gave him a smile and went up to the bathroom.

STEVE'S POV

I was sitting in the living room watching The Lion King with the girls when i heard Y/N calling for me.

"Steve...?....STEVE!!"

"What??" I called back rushing upstairs to the bathroom "What is it??!" I asked from the other side of the door.

"Erm...I think the babies are coming!" She called back sounding like she was freaking out.

"Oh shit..... have your waters broke?!"

"How do i know im in the tub!! All i know is it hurts like a bitch!"

"Okay. Okay.... let me call Sam and Wanda to come look after the girls and i'll take you to the hospital"

"Call Bucky!! If this is it i want him there!"

"Okay im calling him now" i told her pulling out my cell and dialling Bucky.

"Steve...." she said quietly from inside the bathroom.

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"Im gonna need you to help me out of the tub..... i can't do it on my own"

Oh shit!

"Hey Steve, everything okay?" Bucky answered after the second ring.

"No Buck! No! Everything is not okay! I think Y/N's having the babies and now i have to go help her out of the tub!"

"What?? But its too early! This isn't supposed to be happening yet!!" Bucky said loudly "I'm still a couple hours out.... erm can you get her to the hospital and i'll meet you there?.... call Becca to come watch the kids...."

"Im gonna call Sam and Wanda their closer, Wanda said to call if we needed anything"

"Okay that works"

"Buck, what about the fact i gotta get your girl outta the tub??"

"Steve!! Will you hurry up for fuck sake!" Y/N yelled through the door.

"Just do it pal, you gotta help her for me"

"Okay, I'm gonna put you on speaker...."

As i opened the bathroom door i stuck my head in slowly and let out a sigh of relief when i saw she had pulled her towel over her to hide her nakedness.

"Did you reach Buck?"

"Im here baby" Bucky said as i put the phone down on the counter and went to help her up from the tub.

"Bucky..... how long are you gonna be?"

"Couple hours tops....i'll be there i promise! But i need you to go with Steve. His gonna stay with you until i get there"

"Okay".

Once i helped Y/N out of the tub i wrapped a dry towel around her and helped her into the bedroom so she could get dressed.

"Im gonna call Sam while you get dressed, i'll be just outside if you need me" i told her with a reassuring smile.

Reader POV

I was still getting dressed when i heard the knocking at the front door.

"Uncle Steve, Uncle Sam and Auntie Wanda are at the door!" Brooke called up the stairs.

"Okay sweetheart, can you let them in please?"

"Okay"

"Steve, you can come in I'm dressed" i called to him, he came in and grabbed my bag i had packed for the hospital and then wrapped an arm around me to help me downstairs.

"You okay?" Wanda asked as soon as she saw me.

"Honestly i have no idea" i shook my head and laughed nervously "thanks for coming"

"No worries darlin'.... i blue lighted it here!" Sam laughed, that would explain how they got here so quick.

"Okay lets get you to the hospital.... i dont want to have to deliver these babies" Steve joked before leading me out to the car.

When we arrived at the hospital they took us straight through to a delivery room and made me change into a hospital gown (which Steve had to help with!) And then hooked me up to various machines to monitor mine and the babies heart beats. Id been here for over an hour now and the contractions were getting so much worse, i was already tired and i hadn't even gotten to the bad bit yet.... I'm pretty sure Steve hates me for squeezing his hand so tight every time a contraction hits, but he smiles through gritted teeth and tries to keep me calm.

"I want Bucky.... why is it taking so long?" I moaned after getting through a rather bad contraction.

"He'll be here soon sweetheart" Steve smiled brushing my sweaty hair back from my face.

"Thank you for staying with me Steve, I'm not sure how id be coping on my own" i told him truthfully "owww! Shit my back is cramping...."

"You can turn her onto her side and rub her back dad" a nurse that i hadn’t even noticed til now said to Steve as she checked the monitors.

"Oh... oh I'm not dad, I'm dad's best friend. His on his way"

"Oh sorry i just assumed. You can still help her out though" she shrugged.

"Sure, i can do that"

"Its fine you don't have to....." i started to say not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

"I got you, come on lets get you on your side" he smiled helping me roll onto my side so he could massage the cramp from my back.

"Oh my god Steve! You've got magic hands i swear!" I moaned as the pressure started to ease.

"Don't let Buck hear you moaning my name like that sweetheart he might kick my ass" he chuckled trying to make me laugh.

"Too late punk" came the voice of the man i was waiting for.

"Bucky! Your here!" I cried as he walked over and kissed me.

"I told you i would be didn't i?"

"I was just trying to help" Steve said quickly holding his hands up.

"I know, thanks Steve. Thanks for looking out for my girl" they exchanged a manly hug before Bucky took his place rubbing my back.

"Anytime, girls got a grip on her just a heads up. I think she broke my hand" we all started laughing at that but the room fell silent when the alarm on one of the monitors started going off.

"What is that.....whats going on?!" I said panicking as the nurse came back in followed closely by the Doctor. The Doctor stood at the machine looking at a print out before turning to face us.

"Lay her on her back please.... at last one of the babies is in distress" the doctor said. Bucky helped me turn onto my back again and the Doctor started pushing around at my stomach.

"Ow!!!" I cried out in discomfort squeezing Bucky's hand.

"What are you doing!?" Bucky snapped at him looking like he was ready to murder the doctor.

"Im trying to turn the babies a bit, i think one of them may have the cord trapped...." he said as he continued trying to manipulate the babies positioning. Suddenly the alarm stopped beeping and he stepped back to the machine.

"Y/N, i think we're going to have to perform a c-section. The babies are in distress and your not dilated enough yet to do this naturally. Usually we'd give you some medication to help you along but i really don't want to leave them much longer. The quicker we can get them out the better"

"Okay.... whatever you think is best Doc. I just want my babies to be safe"

"Nurse go tell them to prep the OR"

"Yes Doctor" she said quickly before rushing out.

"Lets go have these babies shall we?"

I nodded at the Doctor and turned to look at Bucky "Buck im scared"

"You'll be fine baby, i'll be right there. You've got this" he smiled kissing me quickly.

"I'll wait in the waiting room, good luck sweetheart" Steve beamed down at me pressing a kiss to my head before hugging Bucky. The nurse came back with a porter who pulled my bed out and started wheeling me down towards the OR, Bucky walking along side me holding my hand as we got ready to meet our newest additions.

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anythingandeverything1d · 4 years

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I Won’t Give Up

*Second part to Thank You, Next*

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“I love you too.”

Waiting for Harry to respond felt like an eternity, but was probably more like 30 seconds. His lips pressed to yours, sending shivers down your spine. Oh how I’ve missed this...What started out as a gentle kiss quickly turned to one of possession. Harry kissed you like he was making a point, the kind of kiss that leaves you breathless and wanting more. His lips moved from your lips to your neck and down to your shoulder and then back up to your ear. God help me you thought as you let out a soft groan. He gently bit down on the soft skin before moving his way back to your lips with a wicked smile. He went to pull your shirt up when Clifford started barking at the door. He looked up slightly alarmed. You whined in response, “Har-” but he set you down gently on your feet, lightly touching and smirking at the dark red spot in the upper corner of your neck and walking to the door. You groaned in response, crossing your arms and sitting back on the couch waiting for his return. “Fine I’ll just be here waiting...” you mumbled picking up your phone and texting Lexi that you were indeed alive and breathing. Harry was taking forever so you wandered over to the door where you found Harry in a deep conversation with Louis. “Lou!” He turned with a smirk looking at you.

“Ah finally manned up did ya now Harry.” He opened his arms and you wandered into his hug. “Ive missed you love. Are you sure you want to be stuck with this one here.”

You laughed and lightly punched his arm. “I think I’m sure.”

“You think?” Harry mocked. “I think your lips were pretty confident.”

“Harry!” you groaned, your cheeks turning a bright pink color as Louis clapped Harry on the back. Changing the subject you looked at Louis. “What are you doing here?”

“Just picking up Clifford before heading back to El’s and talking about how Harry should help me egg Liam’s place for opening his fucking mouth about us working on an anniversary project. I mean don't get me wrong the response was great but we want it to be a surprise, ya know? And if things don't happen the way we want I don't want people getting their hopes up. I would've bet Harry was the one to spill the news but it seems he's been a little preoccupied thanks to you.” You smiled and shook your head at Louis.

“Alright well thanks for stopping by Louis but we have to get back to our very important conversation.” Harry who had been starring at you the whole time answered.

“Conversation..right. Do all your conversations leave love marks Harry?” Your face flushed red again and Harry laughed his face turning red while he opened the front door.

“It was great seeing you Louis.”

“You too love. Keep our boy in check will ya?” Louis called out walking through the door to where Clifford was waiting. You nodded laughing.

“I’ll do my best.” Harry closed the door and pushed you lightly against it. “Oh so now you want to continue huh.” you lightly teased, tracing his jaw with your fingers.

“I never wanted to stop but I forgot he was coming..can’t blame me though I mean I was very distracted.” He kissed you, his hands against the door and at the sides of your head. You kissed him back softly, tugging on his bottom lip. You loved the effect you had on Harry. His weight was shifting from one foot to the other and the bulge in his pants was growing, he groaned into the kiss and smiled taking a step back for a minute. “You’re a dangerous one.” he laughed while catching his breath. You smiled and hugged him tightly, grateful to have your curly haired angel back. Your phone started ringing and Harry rolled his eyes, causing you to gently smack his arm and go answer it.

“Hey Lex, what’s up? Oh hey Ash...yeah I’m still with Harry, no I’m okay..” Harry came over with an annoyed look on his face. “Uhh I guess you can come get me. Yeah I’m at his house right now. Okay see you soon.” Harry’s eyes had clouded with anger and his mouth was dropped open.

“You’re leaving?”

“Well yeah I need to go home tonight, l...” “Seriously? After everything you're just going to leave.” You sighed and walked over to him, pulling him into your arms and hugging him tightly.

“Harry. Nothing about me leaving changes what I said...I do love you. I just think that maybe we should, I don’t know...slow down a little. I don’t think I can just jump back to where we were a few months ago..”

Harry didn’t say anything he just sighed and put his head on yours. “You don’t trust me.” Here we go...

“No-no Harry its not that...it’s just that I want to be sure I’m fully ready for all of this again. I want us to work back up to where we were...”

“Whatever..” he said stepping out of the hug and walking to the couch, where he sat sulking. “Just go with that asshole. I don't even care.”

You were getting annoyed now. He was acting like a child and he wasn’t even trying to understand.. “Ashton is not an asshole Harry.”

“I could’ve driven you home. You could've spent the night. You-”

You stopped him there. “He was already driving past here Harry. If I thought it would be that big of a deal I would’ve asked you.” You crossed your arms and looked at him as Ash honked from the driveway. Harry was looking at the tv, pointedly ignoring you. “So this is it? No goodbye?” He didn’t even look up. You rolled your eyes and walked to the door. “Bye Harry.”

You made it to the door where Ash was waiting holding open the door. “How ya holding up cutie?”

You rolled your eyes and mumbled fine about to get in when Harry yelled your name from the porch. He sprinted over, grabbed your waist and kissed you hard on the lips making your knees go weak. He ended it with a slow soft kiss on your forehead and a pointed glare at Ash. “Make sure my girl gets home safe.” You rolled your eyes again. Why do men have to be so aggressive. Harry caught your eye roll and sighed whispering in your ear, “We can take things slow. I love you and will talk to you in the morning.” Thats better, you smiled and kissed his cheek before climbing in the back seat. Ash and Lexi looked concerned and irritated but you didn’t care. They didn’t understand...

A few minutes into the drive, Lexi turned around and grabbed your phone from your hands. “Are you going to clue us in or?” You lifted your shoulders. She continued on, “(y/n)...you can’t possibly let him back into your life. I mean he- he’s an absolute ass.” You just stared at her.

“You don't understand-”

“No I don’t. I don't understand why anyone would go back to someone who nearly destroyed them. I mean you were a mess. You barely made it back to functioning like a normal human. He’s nothing special either. He flaunted women around. He’s borderline abusive-”

“Stop. Seriously Lexi, that's enough. I think I can make my own decisions. I don't need anyone else’s opinion either.” Luckily they had pulled into your driveway so you hopped out, not saying goodbye and ran into the house, tears running down your cheek.

You and Lexi rarely got into fights so when you did, it hurt. You threw your phone on the couch and jumped in the shower, hoping to calm down and think about everything. Of course it didn’t work that well. You fell into bed mentally exhausted from the whole evening and decided you just wanted to go to sleep and forget about it. You tossed and turned trying to drift off but nothing was working. You were frustrated at your argument with Lexi and confused by Harry’s reactions to everything. You didn’t know who to trust or listen too. Your heart wanted Harry but your brain wanted to listen to Lexi. “Ughhhh” you groaned pulling a pillow over your face and screaming. Eventually you drifted off into a restless sleep, rolling around and fighting off dreams.

“Harry!” you screamed following him through the door. “You can’t just do that- you can’t just leave things this way.” Harry turned and stopped you.

“I hate you. Can’t you see that...I don't want you. I never did. You were just a, a game. Now the game is over and its time for you to move on.” You were sobbing trying to grab a hold of him, trying to make sure he wouldn’t let you go. “I don’t love you (y/n)..I never will.” Your heart stops and you drop to the floor but when you look up Harry has been replaced by Lexi. “You’re a fucking idiot (y/n) and you-”

Your eyes open and you sit up catching your breath between the sobs. You instantly reach over, grab your phone and pull up your contacts. The last few months you dialed Lexi’s number when the dreams happened. She would come over and rock you back to sleep, comforting you that Harry was just an asshole. But now...the two of you were fighting so you picked the other number on speed dial. Please answer...please answer....

“(y/n)?” his tired voice deeply whispered.

“Harry...” you cried into the phone hiccuping between words. “I-I”

“Shh its okay...youre okay...” he calmed, clearing more awake than before. “Im coming over just hang in there okay?” he hung up and you held onto the pillow trying to calm yourself. It seemed like hours before Harry reached you. You had run downstairs, opened the door and flung yourself into his arms. He carefully picked you up, carried you back to bed and snuggled under the covers. You rested your head on his chest as he softly hummed a song and rubbed his hand firmly across your back. After a few minutes of listening to him humming you calmed down and took in the scene you failed to appreciate in the beginning. Your head was laying against Harry’s shirtless torso. You trailed your fingers along his butterfly tattoo, listened to his heartbeat, and breathed in his smell, which by the way was the most amazing smell you could possibly think of smelling. Harry noticed you had calmed down so he shifted so that he could look you in the eye. “Wanna talk about it babe?”

You sniffed and turned so you were laying on him, your arms around his neck and fingers playing with his hair. “I-I had a dream that you said you hated me and didn’t want me and-and”

“Shhh...(y/n)...I love you. I want you more than I can breathe. I’m sorry for hurting you in the past but it won’t happen again..I’m not letting go of you ever again babe. I swear.”

“And-and Lexi. She hated me too. She-she”

“Babe. Lexi loves you too. You guys could never hate each other.”

“We were fighting though-” “She will get over it...I promise.” You nodded and held on tighter to him.

“Please don't go...”

“Im not going anywhere...but you need sleep okay?” He burrowed down under the comforter more and pulled you with him, he ran his fingers through your hair until you fell into one of the deepest sleeps you had in months.

You woke up with Harry’s weight half on you and the sun streaming in from the curtains. You observed him carefully. His hair had fallen into his eyes and his mouth was slightly open. He looked like a literal angel. An angel who was crushing you... You tried moving out from under him but he grabbed you and pulled you closer, your face pressed into his chest. You sighed and ran your fingers along his arms. “Harry....” you whispered. “Harry you're squishing me and I need to pee....”

“Shhh” he mumbled with a smile. “I’m sleeping.”

You laughed and sat up. “You dork.” His eyes slowly opened and starred at you.

“What are you going to do about it?” he mumbled, slowly taunting you, his dimples showing and voice deep.

You grinned and pressed a gentle kiss against his lips before crawling out of bed and heading into the bathroom. “(y/n) I’m so sorry!” Lexi’s voice yelled from the stairs. “I-” Her voice cut off as she stared at Harry in your bed and you in nothing but a t-shirt by the bathroom.

“Morning Lexi” Harry mumbled getting out of bed. “I’ll give you two a minute...” he said walking over and kissing your forehead before heading downstairs.

“You’re not leaving are you?” you asked concerned. “No of course not. I’m not going anywhere. Well I’ll be downstairs making breakfast but that it.” you nodded at him with a smile and he left, leaving you and Lexi alone.

You ran over to her and hugged her tightly. “Im so sorry Lex. I never meant to snap at you....I was just confused and tired and not in the mood to deal with it all. I can't loose you....youre my best friend. I love you so much.”

“I love you too. And I’m the sorry one...I never meant to judge you and Harry’s relationship. And I never let you explain what happened. I just didn’t want you to get hurt. I overreacted. I just wanted you to be happy and if that idiot boy makes you happy then I will learn to accept that.” You held tightly onto her and nodded. “He makes me so happy. And I know you don't trust him...but I do. I don't know how I know but I do. Im in love with him Lexi and I don't think that will ever change.”

“I know.” She let go and smiled. “Can we never fight again? I hated it..” “Never again.” You agreed, pinky promising her as you always have. You both ran downstairs to the smell of food and found Harry with an apron tied around his waist and pancakes on the stove. You ran over and kissed his cheek while holding onto his waist. “Wow Haz, that apron has never looked better,” you giggled.

He stepped back and posed. “I know. I look fabulous.” He laughed. “I assume you two worked it out?”

“Yep, just like you said.” You kissed him quickly on the lips and turned around to Lexi smiling.

“I may not like you Styles. But you make (y/n) happy so I guess I can try to like you a little more.”

Harry smiled and nodded, “I promise I won't hurt her again, and if I do...you can personally come after me.”

“Trust me. I will kill you and cut off your dick if you break her heart again.” Harry’s mouth dropped and you laughed. At that moment Ashton walked in with a big smile.

“Did I hear we are cutting off Harry’s dick?”

“Only if he hurts (y/n) again.” Ashton laughed and put an arm around Lexi.

“So I assume all is normal in the world again. We are all friends?”

Harry walked forward with his hand out. “Im sorry for reacting the way I did last night Ashton. It won't happen again.”

“I don't blame you Harry. I respect you going all out for the girl you love. Just don’t let it happen again.” You hugged Ash in response with a smile. Everything had worked out. “You know what this means though?”

“What?” you asked looking unsure.

“Gotta make the official back together post.”

“Ugh do I though...” “Oh yeah. And I have to be in it this time babe.” Harry said walking over, his arms around your shoulder.

“But what will it say this time? We already quoted a song.”

“Give me the phone cutie” Ash said mischievously taking the phone from your hand and typing up the caption. Lexi nodded in approval and smiled.

You looked and smiled too, showing Harry who nodded in approval and kissed your cheek with a smile. “I won't give up on us, even when the skies get rough.”

You breathed out. “Now just to recreate the photo.” Ash, Lexi, you and Harry all cuddled in your bed for the first picture. Your head on Harry’s chest, Ash and Lexi cuddled close and all of you laughing at each other. It was perfect. Lexi also took one of you and Harry kissing with the blankets falling around your shoulders. You hit send with the caption and tossed the phone to the side jumping onto Harry’s back and looking at Lexi and Ashton with a grin. How much better could life get?

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Hope you all enjoy Part 2! Let me know if you have imagine requests and thanks for all the love on part 1! xoxo

#one direction #one direction fanfiction #one direction imagines #directioners #Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #thank you next #i won't give up #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin

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tk-productions · 3 years

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Mystic Sisters- Ch.1 Who’s watching us?

Yua’s POV

“Yua mom said breakfast is ready. Hurry up!” My younger sister yelled from the other side of my bedroom door. I groaned sitting up and sliding on my slippers. I rubbed my eyes trying to wake myself up. Why was that dream so weird? I thought to myself. The only thing I could remember was running away and a voice telling me to keep running. “Why do I feel like I know that voice?”

“ I'm tired, go away” I said to my sister as I finally opened the door. “ Can’t I sleep in peace?”

“Mom called you 30 minutes ago and you never came down. We're gonna be late……. again because of you.” I rolled my eyes at her. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

“I see you finally joined us.” Dad laughed while eating his breakfast.”Well yeah thanks to Hikari.” I replied, taking my seat at the table.

“Have a good day. I’ll be back late so your dad is making dinner tonight.” Mom explained putting our bento boxes in our backpacks. Hikari looked at me with a disgusted look. “Do you think he’s gonna try to make us eat miso soup again? And the rice balls?” she whispered horrified.

“Um we’ll cook tonight instead.” I chimed in thinking about the last time dad tried to cook for us. He somehow left the soup and rice on too long and it got stuck to the bottom of the pot. We had to get a new rice cooker because he burnt the rice. We ended up with take-out that night.

I had that dream replaying in my head over and over. I know it probably didn't mean anything but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“Oneesan, are you okay? You were quiet the whole way here. I asked you what we were making for dinner but you didn't say anything.” Hikari asked worriedly when we arrived at our school Meguro Academy. I looked at her smiling. “No, I'm fine. I’ll see you after class.” I hugged her and quickly walked to class. I know she didn’t buy it. For some reason we’ve always been able to feel each other's emotions. Any time either of us were upset the other one knew.

I walked into class 4-a and sat at my desk pulling out my homework from last night. It was just a dream. I told myself again. There’s no need for me to get worked up over nothing. I sat in class lost in my thoughts when I felt my phone buzz in my uniform pocket.

HIKARI❤️🌺😜: let’s eat lunch together

YUA🥀: 👍🏾

HIKARI❤️🌺😜: Where are we eating?

YUA🥀: Meet me at the water fountain.

I tried to get through my next classes without falling asleep. I sighed in relief as the bell for lunch finally rang. I ran my hands through my red hair. Mid- terms were coming up so we’ve been doing more work than normal.

When I get to the fountain Hikari is already there.

“I told you I was fine.” I reassured her by noticing the expression on her face. Hikari and I weren’t much different looks wise. People always confused us for the other one. Hikari was a year younger than me and had a more playful look. While I had a more serious “mature” look as our mom would say. The main difference in our looks were our eyes and beauty marks. I had green eyes while my sister had grey eyes. I had a mole on my lip on the left and Hikari had a dimple on her right cheek. I listened to my sister ramble about her math test she just took. I laughed watching her complain about how much she hates the subject until I felt eyes on me. It felt familiar. I looked up and locked eyes with the eyes that I once loved but now hated. In front of me was the person I fell in love with. The reason I can’t fall in love again. Haru. The memories of him came rushing back.

Everything was going fine that day until he left me. Haru had been distant so we agreed to go on a date. We started the day at Mystic cafe and ended the night at the local festival. The whole day Haru looked sad. He reassured me that he was okay but I knew something was up. We dated for two and a half years and I knew when it was lying. That night was the first time he told me he loved me. When he dropped me off at the front door he told me he didn’t want to be with me. “Haru what do you mean? You just told me you loved me.”

“Im sorry Yua. I can’t be with you anymore.”

“I love you Haru. Whatever it is we can fix it.” I cried.

“I'm sorry.” He said once again before walking away leaving me there to cry on my front porch confused and upset. I could see his dimly lit figure fade away into the darkness.

That was 7 months ago. After that night he stopped showing up to school. Haru stopped answering my calls and texts messages. When I went to his house to see him no one would be home.

“Haru..” I whispered not loud enough for him to hear me. He smiled before walking away.

“Did you see that? The nerve of him to smile at me after he hurt me the way he did.” I rant to Hikari.

“Don’t be so hot-headed.” Hikari mumbled, stuffing her face with her rice balls making a mess as per usual.

“Well he shouldn't be so shameless you know. And stop stuffing your face.”I said huffing and wiping her face with my sleeve. Every time I saw him all the memories we shared the good and the bad come rushing back. Then the pain follows. The pain of him breaking my heart. He’s the reason why I can’t ever fall in love again.

“Yua-chan we still need tofu and daikon for the kimchi jjigae.” Hikari chirped in front of me grabbing a few boxes of almond flavored Pocky off the shelf and tossing them into the basket. She cheerfully walked down the aisle adding stuff in the basket that we didn’t need. “ I hope you have money for that.” I warned as Hikari added ramen into the basket.

“I don’t because you're paying.” she smiled before turning down the next aisle. I rolled my eyes , pushing the basket following behind her.

“I can’t believe you made me spend $20 on Pocky and ramen.” I muttered looking down at the receipt.

“You love me though.” Hikari cheered, opening the Pocky offering me one. I shook my head no and Hikari shrugged while reaching for the bags.

“I do, so you're lucky.” I laugh out.

I had forgotten about the dream while being with Hikari. Things were always easier when we were together. Mom always said that we’ve been joint at the hip. I was listening to my sister ramble on about the manga she was reading while we walked to the train to go home. Something didn't feel right.

“And the next book comes out friday. I already pre-ordered it.” Hikari rambled on. I stopped in my tracks glancing at my sister. She stopped walking and looked back at me with the same concerned look she had been wearing all day. “Why’d you stop?”

“I feel like we're being watched.”

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ajoy3fanfics · 5 years

Text

The Apartment

A/N: Sorry this is late! This is for InuKag week, March 30th

Prompt: AU

He hadn’t planned to come here, not again. He knew it was a bad idea, knew that it would upset the balance of things. Worst of all, he knew she didn’t want to see him. He was no longer welcome.

None of that was news; it has been this way for months. And honestly, he couldn’t blame her.

But he was drunk, and he was sad, and none of that seemed to matter.

Once again, her feelings didn’t seem to take priority. He knew he was a selfish bastard. If he really gave a damn about her, he would turn around and leave her alone.

But selfish assholes don’t operate like that, do they?

Despite knowing better, it didn’t stop him from coming; didn’t stop him from putting one foot in front of the other, going down the street to the house, his old house. It was once so familiar, the surroundings of the run-down neighborhood blurred when he would pass by on his way to their apartment; now he soaked in the sights, relishing each footstep that brought him closer. Even in his drunk state, he wouldn’t take the feeling of going home for granted.

It was comical to think that he was happy to be back here. From the moment they had signed the lease, he had promised her it was only temporary, that he would take her someplace better, someplace with a garden out front, a place that she could grow.

But this is what they could afford, and she was happy.

Happy to be with him, even if they needed to double bolt their doors.

When he had asked her to move in together, it had been spur of the moment. He had blurted it out while they were in bed together, her small body wrapped in his arms. It was getting late, and she was getting tired. She had work the next day and she had to head back to her place. She yawned, stretching as she sat up.

He didn’t want her to go.

It felt painful, to have her leave.

He reached out his hand, clutching her arm. He brought her in closer, giving her a deep kiss.

And she smiled.

And he lost. He knew right then and there, that she was the one. That every night he wasn’t with her was a mistake. He wanted to come home to her, wanted to build a life with her. It was like the flood gates had opened, and he was unable to pace himself or stop the words from blurting out.

“Let's move in together.”

It seemed like that was a lifetime ago. That those happy memories belonged to someone else.

Just like it felt like someone else had their hand on the door handle; He found himself turning the knob, walking through the threshold. He tried to tell himself to stop. He knew that this was only going to bring trouble. But still, he climbed the 42 stairs to her door.

The one that he had called home.

The one that he had once had the right to go to.

412.

The gold numbers looked nice against the red door. She had liked it immediately; she said the colors reminded her of him. She had joked then that it was a sign. He breathed in, trying to catch her scent. It was light.

It had been so long, so long since he had buried his nose into the crown of her hair, so long since he let himself be comforted by it. The faint fragrance called to him and it wasn’t enough. Not even close.

He knocked.

He waited.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

She wasn’t home.

She wasn’t here.

This was a sign, right? Surely this was a higher power telling him to turn around and go the fuck home.

‘But this used to be my home.’ His inebriated mind argued. He can’t leave yet. He breathed in again, leaning his head against the door.

He needed her scent to fill his lungs again like it used to. He would leave her alone, if he could just get his fix of her, and then he would go.

He jiggled the handle, using his claws to pick the lock. He had done this once or twice when he had forgotten his keys, but that had been when he had lived here, when he had a right to. But this time he was breaking and entering. Even as he turned the doorknob his brain was screaming to stop. Turn around. It still wasn’t too late.

Crappy apartment. Crappy landlord replacing the locks with this cheap shit. It took no more than a minute for the lock to pop.

He was in.

It was overwhelming, being wrapped back in her. Vanilla and cherry blossoms and some sort of spice. Pure Kagome.

Once, it had been a mix of them. Their home had smelled sweet and earthy and it was heaven.

It hurt to think; It hurt to think of her.His head was spinning from her scent, from the alcohol, from his anxiety and the need to see her. He had told himself coming would be enough, and then being able to smell her would sate him.

He was always greedy, had always been a greedy bastard. Especially when it came to her.

Closing the door behind him, Inuyasha surveyed the room, but the darkness was not giving him the details he needed. Without looking back, he blindly tapped at the wall behind him looking for the light switch. His fingers went over the grooves from where he had plastered the wall. He had been so angry then. Frustrated and jealous, in the heat of a fight that spanned from the car to the apartment, he had gone to turn on the light, but instead he had smashed his hand through the wall. Gods, she was angry. Even in her fury, she bandaged him, an angry scowl on her face. She had fixed him up just as he fixed the wall.

She had changed it; painted the walls a new color, a green, making it more Earthy than it had been before. She added new pictures to the living room. She had always loved photos, fuck, she downright annoyed him with all the pictures she took. She displayed their memories proudly then. Images of them, displaying their love seemed to dominate their home. Was he in any of them now, or did she remove any trace of him? Had someone taken his place beside her?

His eyes roamed over her image, laughing in one picture, being silly with Sango in another. Her arms wrapped around…

His ears twitched and swiveled as he heard her open the door; he turned on his heels, the movement making the room spin.

“Inuyasha?!” She shrieked.

He could hear her heart beating rapidly, could hear her trying to catch her breath.

“K’gome…” He blinked lazily, drinking in the sight of her.

“Wh-What are you doing here?! Did you break in?!”

She seemed frantic and upset. Why? Because he was here? Was that really so-

She was suddenly in front of his face, and her presence was making him dazed. Inuyasha closed his eyes to try and get a hold of his senses.

“I wanna- Wanna talk. To you.” He was stumbling on his words.

“Are- Are you drunk?” She asked, the pitch of her voice making him wince.

“Think so.” He responded, holding his head. It was suddenly throbbing.

All of the energy seemed to leave Kagomes body. How long had it been since she had last seen him? It had been a day from Hell, and the entire way home, all she could think of was curling up in bed and falling asleep.

But she came home to find her door unlocked and an intoxicated hanyou in her living room, closely inspecting the corner of her wall.

It had taken her so off guard to see him standing there. For a brief moment, her heart skipped a beat.

It was like she had stepped back into the past.

Kagome took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as she considered her options.

“K’gom-“ He wanted to reach out and grab her; hold her body close to his and make her listen to what he had to say. He tried to move towards her but fumbled, tripping over his own feet. Kagome rushed to catch him as he fell forward, then pushed him down to the sofa. Inuyasha leaned his head back as the room started to spin. He heard Kagome let out a deep sigh of frustration.

That too, was familiar.

“I’m going to call Miroku to come and get you.” He heard the foggy voice say. Immediately he shot up.

“N-No!” He cried. “I-Im- No-Not leaving yet.” He stuttered. “I have ‘portant things to tell you.”

“You’re drunk, Inuyasha. And you need to go home.” Her voice sounded final, but he wasn’t having any of it. His ears twitched as the sound of ringing stopped and Mirokus voice mail message started.

“This used to be my home.” He argued as if it made a bit of difference.

“I’m too tired to deal with this.” She said, rubbing her temples. “And you’re too drunk to be kicked out.” She paused before she continued, unsure even as she spoke if it was a good idea. “I’m going to take a shower. You can sleep on the couch for tonight.”

“B-But I got-!” He began to stand, but a firm hand on his chest pushed him back down.

“No, Inuyasha. I’m tired, and I’ve had a really long day.”

“Tomorrow?” He asked. “We can talk tomorrow.” He’d cringe at how desperate his voice sounded if he was sober.

“Sure.” She said in a defeated voice.

“Promise?” He questioned, needing to hear it. Kagome nodded in agreement.

“Tomorrow. Now go to sleep.”

~.~

The first thing Inuyasha thought when he woke up was how fucking uncomfortable he was. The couch had always been shit to sleep on. Every single time he slept on it, he paid for it the next morning. The morning coffee was perking and he could hear the shower running in the bathroom. Lazily, he wondered why he wasn’t in bed, and what the hell he had done to land him in the dog house this time.

His amber eyes flew open as it dawned on him suddenly.

The uncomfortable couch. This… this was… theirs…

He breathed in, her wonderful scent filling him.

He was home.

His mind began to race. Had be imagined it all? Was he really home? Had he ever even left?

Was it all just a nightmare that they had broken up? That he-

Inuyasha was terrified to confirm his theories, terrified to move a muscle. What if it was all true? What if being home with her was just a repeat of his many dreams?

He sat upright and the room became unbalanced. He was still slightly hung over but it was bearable. The door to the bathroom unlocked, the doorknob turned and Inuyasha’s mouth went dry.

“Kagome.” It came out like a reflex, heavy. She looked at him and gave an awkward half smile before she turned to get a cup of coffee. He watched her work, pouring the coffee into the cups, stirring in the sugar and cream. She walked over to him and he found himself mesmerized; her black shorts, showcasing her creamy legs, her feet wrapped in white thigh high socks. Kagome placed the coffee cups down on the coffee table before taking a seat on the other end of the couch, drawing her legs into her chest. Her long black hair spilled over her shoulders, a sharp contrast to her loose plain white tee. It was like he never left, like he had preserved her somehow. She looked comfortable and stunningly beautiful.

“Here, drink this.” She motioned towards the cup. “It will help.”

He reached over, grasping the hot beverage. Taking a sip, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Keh, you still remember how I like it.”

Kagome returned the slight smile. “Well, its not every grown man who takes his coffee more sugar than coffee.” The sunlight was streaming in the windows, making her look even more angelic than normal. It was quiet after that, an awkward tense, silence that made the hanyou shift in his seat. Kagome chewed on her bottom lip before she spoke. “How have you been?”

The question seemed to take him off guard. “I-I’m okay.” He shrugged off the lie. He was far from alright. Inuyasha cleared his throat. “How- How are you?”

She gave him a small smile as she averted her eyes, her apartment suddenly very interesting. “I’m alright.”

The conversation was strained, when it ha been so easy before. Talking with Kagome used to be the most natural thing in the world; she was the only person he could open up to, the only one he felt at ease with. He nodded, as if her simple sentence was something to mull over. “Hows Sota? Your mom?” He said something, anything to keep the conversation going.

“Sota just got accepted into C high school. Full scholarship and everything.” She smiled, the first true smile he had seen from her, full of pride in her little brother. It was blinding.

“That’s freakin’ amazing!” He said with enthusiasm. “I remember how much he wanted to go there. Is he gonna try out for the basketball team?”

“Mmm, he’s still not sure. He’s thinking about trying out for the soccer team, but the basketball team is already trying to recruit him.”

He couldn’t help but smile at that. He had known Sota before he even entered middle school, and the kid always had a basketball in his hand. He would practice with him late into the night, amazed at the kids stamina. “Feh, that’d be such a waste. He’s a natural.”

Kagome eagerly nodded in agreement. “Right? But he says he wants to branch out and try something new. And mama is really into the idea of being an actual soccer mom.” She said with a laugh.

It felt easy. It felt natural, like old times. “Keh, I can totally see that.” He found himself smiling. Gods, how long had it been since he smiled like this?

“I- I’m glad you came Inuyasha.” Kagome said. “I’ve been meaning to call you, but I never found the right time. Or maybe I couldn’t bring myself too.” She bit her bottom lip again, and Inuyasha found himself holding his breath. “Oh?” was all he could manage out.

“Hang on a sec.” She stood up and retreated into her bedroom, only to emerge a moment later with a small black box. She held it out to him. “Here.”

“What’s this?” he asked.

Kagome swallowed hard still holding the box out to him. “It’s your moms ring. I- I was going to ask Miroku to give it to you, but it didn’t feel right to pass off something so precious. I thought I needed to give it to you personally.”

Amber eyes bore into the little black box. “But I gave that to you.” He managed out.

She sat down on the couch once more, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “That was different. You gave it to me… you gave it to me when you proposed. It was okay for me to wear it because I was going to be your wife. But now… I can’t keep this now.” She reached over and placed it into his hand. “You should save it… for the person you’ll marry someday.” It was hard to say it out loud, but it was a sentence that needed to be said.

“But I gave it to you.” He repeated, his black brows furrowed.

“And like I said, I cant keep it. It’s not meant for me.”

Inuyasha couldn’t keep the scowl off his face. “Of course it’s meant for you. I carried that ring around in my pocket for three weeks before I found the perfect time to propose to you. I got so fucking anxious to give it to you I proposed to you in fucking bed. I put that ring on your ringer and you cried. Don’t fucking tell me you can’t keep that ring.” He hadn’t meant for it to sound angry, but he never was one to mind his temper.

“You don’t need to remind me of that, Inuyasha. I’m very aware of what it was like when you proposed to me.” She returned his angry tone. “But it’s different now. This is your mothers ring. Its not right for me to keep it!”

“Yes it is!” He argued, pushing the box back towards her.

“Give it to your girlfriend, or save it for your daughter, or someone you love but I. CANT. KEEP. IT.”

Glaring at her, he matched her word for word. “Well I. AINT. TAKIN. IT.”

Kagome let out a frustrated sigh. “So, why are you here, Inuyasha? To argue with me?” She brought her hands up to her chest. “I don’t get what you’re doing.”

He swallowed hard, the words he was so eager to speak last night suddenly sticking in his throat. “I, I miss you, Kagome.”

Her gray eyes grew wide at his admission, as if she was shocked to hear that he would have any lingering feelings towards her. She gave a slow, sad nod, the fire suddenly out. “Yeah, I miss you too. But that’s what happens when you break up.”

She said it so easily, so suddenly it pierced his heart. It was true, fuck he didn’t want it to be, but it was.

It was true, and it was all his fucking fault.

“We’re not breaking up.” He said finally, his tone leaving no room for argument.

She clicked her tongue. “Too little, too late for that, buddy.”

“We’re not over.” He repeated. “I gave you 3 months of space, but that’s over.” He looked her fiercely in the eyes. “I wont let you go, Kagome.”

~.~

Kagome shut the red door behind her, double checking to make sure it was locked. She didn’t want to chance a drunk Hanyou making his way into her living room again.

It had been two days since he promised to see her, two days since he came back into her life, a drunk mess, promising to make her forgive him. Apparently he gave up quicker than she anticipated.

She walked down the steps, stopping at the stoop to stretch overhead. She put in her earbuds and began with a light jog. Running always put her in a good mood, somehow cleared her mind, and right now, she definitely needed an escape from silver haired ex boyfriends.

As she turned the corner to the park, another jogger sped up, then matched her pace. Kagome looked over, slightly freaked out, only to discover Inuyasha was shoulder to shoulder with her.

“Oh my god!” She cried out, coming to a hault. She placed her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. “What are you doing here, Inuyasha?!”

He shrugged his right shoulder. “What’s it look like? Joggin’.”

Kagome narrowed her eyes as she stood up straight, her heart rate at a more acceptable speed. “But why here? Why with me?”

“Feh.” He waved her off. “Don’t be so conceited. Who says I’m joggin’ with you?”

Kagome groaned as she put her hands on her hips, cocking her head to the side. “Just leave me alone, Inuyasha.”

“Like I said,” He began to jog ahead of her. “I just came here for a run. Can you stop distracting me now?” He asked.

Inuyasha laughed to himself as she heard her grumble under her breath.

~.~

He seemed to be everywhere she went. She went to the grocery store to buy food for the week, and there he was, waiting outside, ready to carry the bags. She went for her evening run, he was there, in his running shoes, ready to keep her company. In the mornings, he left her favorite coffee on her car. When she came out of work she would sometimes find a flower, sometimes a note.

It was confusing and painful and annoying and endearing all at the same time. As much as she hated him, she loved him. As much as she wanted to forgive him, to have him come back into her life, into their home, into her bed, it was like their was a rock in her gut preventing her from moving forward. She wanted him, and wanted to push him away, all at once. The past three months he had been away, given her plenty of space, and it wasn’t exactly easy, but anything was easier than this. Than him following her around, being kind and funny, making it all too easy to fall into a routine with him once again.

Today he was sitting in her hallway, their old hallway, his back against her red door. He had a brown bag by his side. Kagomes mouth watered- she could practically taste the udon he had brought.

“Why are you here?” She asked defeated.

A crooked smile broke across his face. “Why do ya think? I brought dinner.”

~.~

“Why are you doing this?” She tried not to say the words angrily, but they still came out harsh. Kagome set the take out containers on the table as Inuyasha opened the cabinets to get the plates. Just like before. Just like normal. “This has to stop Inuyasha. You cant keep showing up where ever I am, waiting for me outside of my house.” The hanyou took a seat closest to her, but she continued to stand.

“Our house.” He corrected. “And I need to. You wouldn’t answer my calls, wouldn’t talk to me!”

“That’s because I didn’t want to. Besides, you’re going to make Kikyo upset if you continue on like this.”

“I keep telling- We’re not together.” He tried, the words spilling out of his mouth. “Nothing is going on between us.”

“Not anymore, you mean?” She pressed her lips together.

Inuyasha shook his head, his short silver locks swaying. “Not anymore and not ever! I haven’t spoken a word to her since that night. It was a misunderstanding. I keep trying to tell you-“

“I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m not interested in going through this another time, Inuyasha. I know what I saw. And even-“ She looked up towards the ceiling, avoiding his gaze or trying to stop tears, he wasn’t sure. “Even if I didn’t see you kissing her, how you acted was way over the line.”

“I know.” He leaned in closer. “I fucked up and I’m so, so sorry Kagome.” She shook her head, leaning away from him.

“Is this what you came here for? To bring up the past? To make yourself feel better?”

“I came here to be with you.” He admitted. “I cant stop because as soon as I think of you, I think of how much I love you. And I cant keep myself away. Somehow, I just wind up here.” Kagome winced at his words, at his admission of love.

“I don’t know what you expect me to say to that.” She admitted. “You love me? If you loved me so much, why did you get close to Kikyo? Why did you leave our bed to go to her in the middle of the night?”

Kikyo was an old friend, an old ex. Not someone he had thought of in years, not until she ran into him at the park. Not until she wanted to catch up. Not until she poured out her soul to him, told him about all of the hardships she had going on.

Kikyo had been a pillar of support for him in high school. She had helped him through the death of his mother. He felt compelled, obligated to hear her out, see how he could help.

And it took a toll on his relationship.

At first, Kagome seemed skeptic, but understanding. But as Kikyos demands became more frequent, his fiancé made her suspicions clearly known.

But he assured her that nothing was wrong, nothing was happening. Even when she called in the middle of the night, saying she was outside and desperately needed to talk to him, he went to her. Like a fucking fool.

Kagome had followed them out, watched from the shadows as Kikyo clung to him in the dark. It was over the line. He would’ve ripped the man to shreds that dared to touch his fiancé like that. Yet for some reason, he expected her to be okay with it.

“If you loved me so much why did you do that to me? I loved you, so much Inuyasha. So much that the thought of being with anyone else never even entered my mind.”

“But nothing happened.” He restated. She was starting to cry and fuck, it killed him. Turning away from him, she made a move to get up. Bitterly, she spit out the words that cut him deep.

“What does it matter? Its over with. Were over with.”

It was as if his last will of restraint was cut; He grabbed hold of her, pinning her slim body against his. She sat snug in his lap, muscular arms wrapped across her chest. She struggled against him, but his pure strength kept her firmly in place. “Let me go, Inuyasha!” She shouted.

It had been so long since he felt her, so long since she was in his arms. “Its not over with.” He said, his face against hers. “I love you, Kagome. And I know you still love me.”

She tried to wiggle free. “I don’t. I hate you!” She screamed. “Let me go!” Kagome wasn’t afraid, she knew that Inuyasha wouldn’t hurt her. But she didn’t want to be restrained by him either.

“Nothing happened between me and Kikyo.” She turned her head to shoot him an angry look, before abruptly jerking her head away. “It was wrong of me to get so involved. Even though you warned me that she was into me… I should’ve fucking listened. I fucked up Kagome. Im sorry.”

“Doesn’t matter.” She said as she struggled. “I don’t love you anymore. In fact, I’m dating someone, and he wouldn’t appreciate this.”

A sharp growl came from deep in Inuyashas chest. “That’s a lie. I can smell it in your scent. You don’t hate me, and you aint with anyone. I’ll fucking kill any guy that gets near you.”

“Let me go.” She said again, her voice firm. “I don’t love you. Let me go and leave.”

Inuyasha shook his head. “You still love me. I know you do. I gave you your space, but I aint about to let you go. I want to come home. I know you still love me, and I know you still want me. Let me come home.” He moved his hand towards her chin, capturing her mouth in a fierce kiss. She bit down on his bottom lip, drawing deep red blood. The taste mingled, making the angry encounter taste bitter. But even still, she kissed him back. Kagome twisted in Inuyasha’s lap until she was straddling him. She broke the kiss, leaving him panting, wanting, only to slap him hard across his right cheek.

“I’m so mad at you!” She panted. “I hate you.” She ground her teeth.

Inuyasha shook his head. “You love me. Just like I love you.”

Another slap. Another denial. He growled and she sank into him. Hot and fiery, her kiss sending pleasure straight to his core. She fingernails dug into his shoulders, urging him on, showing her rage. Inuyasha let his hands roam down her back, delighting in the feel of her, until they came to the round curves of her ass. He gripped it with both hands, squeezing and giving her right cheek a slap. She cried out and ground her hips against him. It was all he could take; after months of her absence the slightest touch from her was driving him wild. He held her tight, finally able to look her fully in her eyes.

She was angry, furious, but there was still love in her eyes. It was buried deep, behind the passion and resentment and betrayal. Underneath that all was love. He’d let her hit him until she was sated. He’d somehow temper that rage until she could be calm. But he knew if he left, it might really be over.

Inuyasha ran his tongue down her neck, nipping at the soft flesh. “I love you, I love you, Kagome.” He repeated over and over like a mantra. She moaned, a sound he had only heard in his dreams these last 3 months. “Inuyasha…” She said, her voice breathy, needy, before she pulled him in closer for a kiss.

Finally, he was home.

#inukag week #inukag-week #inuyasha #au

88 notes · View notes

sunriseskog · 6 years

Text

Steel- Auston Matthews

Request: this wasn’t requested I’m just sad lol

Warnings: ANGST, cussing, cheating, dangerous behavior ?

Word Count: 1680

Notes: all i have to say is im sorry and that this is bad lmao// REQUESTS ARE OPEN

It had been a rough day. It had been a rough day and a rough week and rough month and a rough season and the last fucking thing you needed right now was to have to drive 30 fucking minutes to pick up your fucking boyfriend from whatever fucking club he was at getting drunk off his ass with his fucking teammates. You had nothing against his teammates at all, honestly, they were probably one of the best things to happen to you the past few months. You did, however, have something against them interrupting the bubble bath, Netflix, and white wine filled night that you had planned for yourself because they wanted to get wasted.

After searching for a parking spot for nearly 10 minutes, you ended up giving in and parking in the overpriced lot 3 blocks down from the location William had shared with you 45 minutes prior. After just barely convincing the bouncer to let you in, with the promise of being out in under 5 minutes and the tactical unbuttoning of a couple extra buttons on your blouse, you walked through the door and were immediately bombarded by an overwhelming inner dialogue of ‘fuck this.’ The smell of sweaty bodies and overpowering drinks and suffocating smoke machines made your eyes water and your throat close up. Getting jostled by overzealous college douches and even rowdier businessmen, you finally made your way towards the VIP booths you knew the team had claimed by now. “Steph!” You called out, finally spotting a familiar face.

“Hey babes,” she laughed. “Aus said you weren’t gonna make it tonight. Everything okay?” She questioned, noticing the tired look on your face and the bags under your eyes.

“Ya hon, I’ve just been having the week from hell,” you sighed. “Where is Aus?” You questioned, noticing the distinct lack of the hard-to-miss love of your life as you glanced around the booth.

“I saw him head to the bathroom a couple minutes ago, want me to go grab him?” Mitch questioned, jumping into the conversation.

“Nah, I’ve got it. Thanks guys.” You left with a small wave and an appreciative smile, making sure to grab his jacket off the back of the chair.

You were starting to get overwhelmed again. The music was still too loud and the air was still too thick and the closer you got to the restrooms the more it began to smell like piss. You knew if you didn’t get out of here within the next couple minutes you were going to have an anxiety attack in the middle of the goddamn dance floor, so you moved quickly to push open the door to the only functional bathroom in the club. Upon opening the door you stopped being able to hear the music or taste the air or smell the stench— because that was your boyfriend. And that was your best friend. On her knees with his fucking cock in her mouth.

It had been a rough day. Most people in your situation most likely would have resorted to yelling or screaming or crying but at this point you were just…done. You backed out of the door, rolled your shoulders back, took a deep breath and walked back to the booths. The crowd parted much more easily this time around, in all honesty, it probably had something to do with the glare you felt overtaking your features. As you approached the table, you could feel Steph giving you a questioning look.

“You’re taking Auston for the night,” you stated, shoving the jacket into Mitch’s chest. “I don’t care what he does OR who he does for that matter— but I don’t want him anywhere near me. Tell him he can go back home in the morning. I’ll be out by then.” You could feel them both about to interrupt you, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on, but you just shrugged off Steph’s hand and stormed out of the club.

“That was 7 minutes, bitch.” The bouncer called after you after you had thrown open the door. You threw both of your middle fingers up behind you as you made your way back to the parking lot. It may have only been 7 minutes, but it felt like a fucking lifetime. And in a way, it kind of was. Because there goes your fucking life. Upon reaching your car you felt yourself hiccup and just barely managed to grab onto the door handle before a sob wracked your body and you felt your legs wobble. After fumbling for your keys through your blurring vision, you climbed into the car and made sure to lock the door before letting your head fall to the steering wheel as you struggled to breathe through the tears running down your face. “Fuck. FUCK! FUCKFUCKFUCK!” You screamed through the mess of snot and tears running into your mouth, slamming your fists against the wheel, barely even flinching at the sound of the horn ringing out through the garage. “…fuck.” Your voice cracked as the weight of what you had just witnessed hit you. You didn’t… you didn’t know what you were feeling. It was like, you had so much to feel and so much to process that it just… wouldn’t.

You slowly gained your breath back, feeling your shoulders drop. A few moments ago it had felt like your heart was going to explode out of your chest, it was so heavy and so full of emotion and so so unbelievably hurt and now you just felt… nothing. It was like whatever connections your heart had had, whatever connections you had had to Auston were just…snapped. You had been heartbroken before, at least you thought, you had gone through the crying and the screaming and the weeks full of sweatpants and ice cream and intentionally sad movies so that you could say that you cried about something other than yourself, but this was new. You had grown here in Toronto with him, and all the growth that you had made was because of him. You had grown while in love with him, you had grown to be someone he could love. You had moved here for him and gotten this fucking job for him, the same one that had been ruining your life for months, you had left your friends for him, you had left your family for him, you had left everything. For him. And now all of it had gone completely and totally down the drain. ‘more like down a throat.’ You thought to yourself bitterly.

“Alright, (Y/N), get your shit together. You felt things before Auston and you’ll feel things after him but right now you’re not gonna feel fucking anything. You have shit to do. Fuck him.” You lectured yourself in the rearview mirror, swiping quickly under your eye to get rid of any evidence of the fact that you had been crying. You maintained eye contact with yourself as you took a breath, cracked your neck, and steeled yourself. It was a routine you had mastered long before you had met Auston. It had come in handy a multitude of times. Dad packs up and leaves on Christmas Eve? Steel yourself. Mom forgets your 12th birthday? Steel yourself. Prom date stands you up for the first, second, and third time? Steel yourself. The first man you had ever fully trusted takes the heart you gave him and ejaculates it down the back of the throat of a friend you had spent 6 years prioritizing over yourself? Steel yourself. It was the only thing you could do.

And it worked. You put your “Fuck you” playlist on shuffle and began the drive back to the house you and Auston had moved into together 9 months ago. You were taking the corners just a little too fast, and entering the intersection just a little too late, but it wasn’t exactly like it mattered. Everything was fucked anyways. After making it back to the house in one piece— miraculously— you stood in the middle of the living room and took a deep breath. Steel yourself.

Packing up wasn’t hard, Auston was the one who had lived nearby, and you had only brought half a cars worth of stuff to Toronto. A majority of it had long since been given away or moved into storage to accommodate Auston’s preferences and you hadn’t really noticed, or minded, until this moment. Grabbing one of the huge suitcases he normally reserved for long stretches on the road, it barely took half an hour to pack up all of the clothes you deemed worth taking. You cleared the bathroom of all your toiletries, placed the little jewelry he hadn’t gotten you in your purse, and grabbed the emergency cash you both had agreed to stash in the bedside table, just in case. The cash was primarily out of spite, you had plenty of money saved up, especially after Auston had refused to put your name on the mortgage, eager to spend the majority of his annual salary to finally own his own house. After placing your suitcase and duffel bag next to the front door, you removed the house key from your key ring and placed it on the kitchen counter next to the locket he had gifted you 2 Christmases ago.

Calling your brother to inform him that you’d be arriving in Pittsburg early the next morning had taken 10 minutes, and calling your boss to let him know that you were quitting had taken half that, especially given the fact that you had hung up immediately after breaking the news, it wasn’t like you were getting paid to hear him yell at you anymore. Dragging your shit to your car and keying in the directions had taken 10 more minutes. Pulling out of the driveway and coming to terms with the fact that your entire life was in the backseat of your car and you were about to drive away from everything you had come to know and love over the past 7 years had taken longest of all.

#auston matthews #toronto maple leafs #auston matthews imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #angst #mitch marner #tml #leaf nation #william nylander #nhl playoffs #breakup imagine

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partlycharlie-archive · 6 years

Text

ep: things leo does; by jason grace

chapter 2. aftermath link to chapter 1

summary: 2. hey, mom? okay, there's this guy named leo, and i'm in love with him. wait - wait, you knew that already? well. fuck. wait! aha - i bet anything you didn't know he was in love with me, now did you? yeah, i thought - fuck. word count: 2,051 warnings: mention of cannibalism (not serious), mention of DDLB/NSAP, morse code a/n: valentines chapter because i’m a sucker for the babe :/ read on ao3

5. taps out messages in morse code when he thinks no one is paying attention

Two short taps. One short, one long, two short. One long, one short, two long. Rinse and repeat.

Three letters.

Jason’s sure nobody else has noticed - Leo tapping his fingers in what seems to be a random pattern is nothing new, and his eyes track Chiron’s movements with what seems to be laser focus.

He likes to think he knows Leo better, by now.

Jason thinks back on his old Morse training (“Why do I have to know this?” “Just in case.” “What the hell kind of situation requires us to tap Morse code to each other when we have fucking mouths?”) - laborious months of bullshit memorizing that he never used on quests, but damn if it isn’t coming in handy now.

Two short taps. I

One short, one long, two short. L

One long, one short, two long. Y

ILY.

Jason jerks up in his seat, avoiding Leo’s eyes when his fingers stop tapping and he glances over, obviously concerned.

Leo’s mouth quirks up into a tiny smirk - how the fuck does he manage to lift only a corner of his mouth, and still convey so much? It’s fucking adorable, and Jason hates it - and he focuses back onto Chiron, who is trotting across the front of the room with a vaguely frustrated expression on his face.

Leo’s fingers continue their tapping, slim fingers pressing coded messages into the tabletop.

Two short taps. I

One short, one long, two short. L

One long, one short, two long. Y

One short, three long. J

One short, one long. A

Three short. S

Three long. O

One long, one short -

“Alright, any questions?” Chiron asks suddenly, raising his voice to attract the attention of any heads whose heads are drooping (Jason tries not to feel guilty - fails - whatever.). “No? Alright, dismissed.”

Jason glances at Leo, who is standing up like nothing’s changed, slapping his hands on the table like nothing’s changed, brushing a hand down his jeans like nothing’s changed, turning to leave like nothing’s -

You get the point.

Okay, so Leo had spelled out ILY JASO- something. That something was either a K, a D, a Y, a C, an X, a B, or…

An N.

Was it too much of a stretch to think he might have been spelling out JASON? Zeus knows it wasn’t JASOD, anyway.

Fuck.

6. acts like a child when he gets tired*

* leo doesn’t get tired.

“… so the chip attaches to this port -” Leo yawns, and then shakes his head to clear it up, “ - and so it becomes able to track -” another yawn, “ - the movements -”

“Leo?” Jason asks, tilting his head slowly. Leo glances up, blinking blearily (ha, alliteration) up at him.

“Yeah?”

Jason smiles fondly, unable to hold back his reaction to an evidently tired Leo.

“You look tired. Ready for bed?”

Leo shakes his head again, more rapidly this time, and his curly hair flops around with his movements. He blinks a few more times, then opens his eyes as far as he can. “Nuh-uh,” he says, with an expression like a guilty child.

Yeah, right. Even Jason’s tired, and Leo likes to call him Superman - mostly because he looks like a blond version of him, but also because he’s basically superhuman. Jason doesn’t really get tired.

“Yuh-huh. C’mon, let’s head to my cabin. It’s too late, I don’t want to wake the Hephy kids up.”

Leo shakes his head with a petulant expression, narrowing his eyes and leaning back in his chair. With arms crossed, he mutters, “Nuh. Uh.”

Jason raises an eyebrow and nods to himself for a second, fighting back an amused smile at Leo’s behavior. “Alright, you’ve got a couple of options,” he relents, watching with the fond grin that he hadn’t been able to restrain as Leo slowly relaxes, nodding with lingering suspicion still present on his face. “You can either get up and walk with me, or I pick you up. Your choice.”

Leo sighs heavily, tipping his head back and huffing out another breath through his nose. “Fine.”

Jason stands, hovering for a few seconds. He frowns as suspiciously as he can manage when Leo doesn’t stand up like Jason thought he would, instead slouching further into his seat with hands outstretched, as if…

… he wants Jason to pick him up. Of course he does.

“You’re a fucking baby, y’know that?”

Leo shrugs, a carefree smile on his face. “Yup.”

Jason sighs indulgently. “Yeah, of course you do. Alright, we’re doing piggyback, because we both know - despite how incredibly underweight you are - there’s no way I’ll be able to hold you on my damn hip or whatever for the amount of time it’ll take us to get back to the cabin.”

Leo nods and Jason turns his back to the shorter teenager, crouching on the balls of his feet with his hands outstretched behind him. As carefully as he can manage (which isn’t saying a lot, considering how fucking delirious he seems to be), Leo tucks his legs into the slots of Jason’s hips and he stands up, chuckling softly when Leo yelps behind him.

He regains his balance, though, and wraps lanky arms around Jason to rest in the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

“Good to go?”

Leo says nothing, merely nods against the shoulder he’s already starting to fall asleep on - not that Jason expected anything less.

“¡Dios mio, las luces!” he cries almost immediately, shoving his face into the back of Jason’s shirt. [t - Oh my god, the lights!]

Jason can’t stifle the chuckle that escapes him - okay, so maybe he forgot to tell Leo it was basically morning, but. Who could blame him? He’d been… distracted. By Leo. And his hands. And his hair. And his smile. And his laugh. And his -

You see? It just happened again. Totally not his fault.

Definitely.

"Sorry, love," he says, trying and failing to sound truly apologetic. (Did he just say love in reference to Leo? He’s not going to think about that.) "Afraid I can't turn these lights off."

A groan spills its way out of Leo's mouth, sounding suspiciously like a "Why not?" but with a lot more vowels, probably.

"Well," he starts, the fond amusement (he’s fond way too often when it comes to Leo, damn it) probably ridiculously evident in his voice, "there's this thing in the sky - now, don't get too excited - called the sun. Totally crazy, right? It -"

Leo's left hand knocks harshly against his temple. "Asshole."

"- even makes this wild thing called - wait for it - light! It's pretty fuckin' awesome, if I may say so myself."

Leo sighs. "You may not," he grumbles, and Jason can feel the fluttering of the other boy's eyelashes against his neck. He fights back a shiver at the surprisingly intimate feeling and tries to concentrate on getting them to his cabin.

"Hey, dad?" he murmurs, words slurred through a heavy tongue. Jason opens his mouth to answer, but -

Wait.

What?

He freezes.

Mentally, of course, because otherwise Leo would know something was up, and he was so close to falling asleep, and Jason really didn't want him realizing what he said, because it'd turn into a whole production, and Leo would never get to sleep, and then... you get the idea.

But - anyway. Back to the matter at hand:

Dad?

Is that, like, a kink thing?

Jason remembers reading up on kinks (it was a late night and too many Wikipedia articles, sue him), and he's pretty sure daddy kinks are a thing.

(Eugh. He shudders at the thought. Yikes.)

But - that didn't sound like a sexy Dad word. What would a sexy Dad word sound like? It'd probably be Daddy and not Dad, for one.

Oh, gods.

He's getting off track.

Jason decides, as any sane (teenager) semi-mortal would do, to completely ignore the last word of Leo's sentence. "What's up, squirt?"

Okay, what the fuck?

He definitely meant to say Leo, or maybe bro, as regular teenage boys do, but squirt? Gods, Jason's out of his mind.

Maybe it's because Leo's way heavier than he looks. Who knows.

"'m tired."

Jason resists the urge to fist pump the air, instead pulling Leo onto his hip for ease of motion.

"Yeah, yeah, me too. Don't worry, we're almost there."

7. has horrible grammar when he texts (no, it doesn’t annoy jason)

[17:49] leo_valdez: wht do u want 2 do 4 dins 2nite

[17:55] jason_grace: Salmon with asparagus and rice?

[17:58] leo_valdez: damn chef grace out here [17:58] leo_valdez: yeah boi

[17:59] jason_grace: Okay, cool.

[18:38] jason_grace: Hey, Percy said he’d cook. Cool with you?

[18:43] leo_valdez: yeah np

[18:45] jason_grace: He might take a while, though, so I think we’ll be eating late tonight :/

[18:45] leo_valdez: ye its fine i ate late 2day

[22:24] jason_grace: How’s it smelling over there? I’m hungryy

[22:30] leo_valdez: lol i cant smell anything

[22:31] jason_grace: Omg lol. Do you think it’s your poor sense of smell smell or that nothing is cooking??? Haha

[22:31] leo_valdez: both lmfaooo

[22:32] jason_grace: Lol, okay.

[23:11] jason_grace: 11:11!

[23:14] leo_valdez: my wish is 2 eat

[23:15] jason_grace: Mood [23:19] jason_grace: I’ve died a million hungry deaths already. I may start to eat paper any minute. [23:19] jason_grace: It’s organic, right???

[23:20] leo_valdez: yeah totes gotta get on that #vegan #organic #freerange #localwoodonly trend [23:20] leo_valdez: ykno this shirt is made out f cotton????? thts a crop i cld totally eat this

[23:22] jason_grace: As long as you take tiny bites like a rabbit.

[23:22] leo_valdez: yeahhhhhhh [23:23] leo_valdez: i s2g im gonna eat percy if he doesnt tell me its fuckin ready soon

[23:23] jason_grace: Wait what’s s2g again? [23:23] jason_grace: Oh, nom.

[23:23] leo_valdez: swear to god

[23:23] jason_grace: Nvm*

[23:23] leo_valdez: NOM NOM I HUNGRY

[23:24] jason_grace: Lolzzzz.

[23:24] leo_valdez: thnks jace u rly gotta remind me ://////

[23:24] jason_grace: He’d probably be pretty tasty. [23:24] jason_grace: Remind you of what?

[23:24] leo_valdez: how hUNGRY I AM

[23:25] jason_grace: Nom nom nom I have no other words.

[23:25] leo_valdez: nom [mood in hungryspeak]

[23:26] jason_grace: Me nom.

[23:26] leo_valdez: i just saw th word omw and rly tht it said nom im losing my mind over here

[23:27] jason_grace: Our bellies could have been full hours ago. Savage.

[23:27] leo_valdez: ikr [23:27] leo_valdez: horrible

[23:29] jason_grace: Are tears edible???

[23:29] leo_valdez: hopefully im producing way 2 many of thm

[23:30] jason_grace: Sip slowly, I don’t want you getting full before we eat.

[23:30] leo_valdez: i gotchu [23:31] leo_valdez: trying 2 remind myself tht festus 2.0 is a living being and im not ready 2 b a murderer

[23:34] jason_grace: Oh honey. He wouldn’t be tasty. Too much fur.

[23:34] leo_valdez: u rite u rigt

[23:34] jason_grace: What were we thinking??? We know Percy well enough by now lmao. Sigh. Burp. Ugh.

[23:36] leo_valdez: im crying salmon

[23:37] jason_grace: Oh noooo why’d you have to say salmon?????

[23:38] leo_valdez: LMAOOOO

8. loves jason grace

Okay, okay.

You gotta keep this one a secret until Jason finds his journal again, okay? He doesn’t know I took it.

I’ve read through it a couple of times, and - damn is Jace a fucking sap. It’s a pity I love him.

No it’s not, who am I kidding.

Aha! That’s the first time I’ve written it down since I realized (which was… too long ago for me to feel comfortable admitting to).

If you didn’t get that, Jason: I love you, you piece of shit.

Ugh.

Fuck, whatever, maybe this thing is a prank and he doesn’t actually love me. Maybe this is a hallucination? Dad knows I’ve been spending way too much time in the Bunker, anyways. Maybe… who knows, honestly.

God, I’m tired.

Whatever. I hope he finds this soon, I’m tired of waiting, for Christ's sake.

See you soon, hopefully.

- leo valdez, the one & only

I love you too, Leo.

#partlycharlie #my fic #percy jackson #valgrace #@caitlyn #fun times #yeet

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weeb-overlord · 7 years

Text

Poly is hard.

Speaking as someone who hated and was scared of polyamory my entire life until almost 7 months ago, it is hard. i’m sure it’s hard for everyone.

Poly means that there is no One True love like we were all raised to believe. it is a belief that multiple people can love the many facets of us and therefore we are loved entirely. while someone could love the way i can go off and talk about something for two hours straight, someone else could dislike it but love how i cry at absolutely everything and find it beautiful. and i can have both. but it is still hard.

it’s amazing waking up to an entire phone full of texts from my chosen family, and it is amazing not having enough time to reply to them all before another pops up. I love that. but it is hard waking up and the first thought is that “i will never be someone’s only, someone will never be my everything.” i think the hardest part about poly is accepting that you might not need that as much as you thought you did afterall.

it is difficult being with a man who has two other partners as well. It’s difficult spending a weekend with them and being the one who actually is not bothered when the other two get attention, but they are bothered when i do get attention. it’s like they have this calculator in their head that adds up who gets the most time with him and “Is It Fair?” but i cant imagine thinking that way. if she needs him more than i do right then I refuse to take what she needs away. and i refuse to be upset after. but, just like I am adjusting in my own way, so are they.

this weekend was very enjoyable but very difficult. the more time you spend with someone the more shit comes with it. on Saturday night I was able to have a nice time with him for a little, but one of his other partners felt “left out” and she complained about sitting there all by herself while I got time with him. she always does this, whether it’s me or his wife, she always complains about not having enough time with him.

i was in a slightly altered state of mind when she said this and i was extremely emotional and then she commented on the lack of connection between me and him during our impact scene and i got mad. really really mad. and i had already been crying because thats what i do. but i just asked for the key to the room but he wouldnt let me have it and said he was going with me.

i was livid the entire way up to the room. he had me hold his drink because it was cold and i needed to feel it. i was talking all about it in the halls and in the elevator, i didnt fucking care.

I cant even spend an hour with you without someone freaking out and being upset. Just because she doesn’t see a connection between us doesn’t mean there isnt one. Everyone reacts differently in their scene, everyone needs different things. How dare she accuse you of just beating me when that is what I need most and how I connect to you best. “She feels left out.” he said. I laughed in the elevator. I can’t imagine what that feels like, to feel left out. I only live 4 hours away from you and never get to hear your voice or feel your touch. She lives in the same town as you, she sees you every other night. I see you once a month, and this next time I’ll be going six weeks without you. She gets to spend nights with you, whole nights. I would kill for just one with you. I want my time with you and then she can have you back.

He did not say anything back, he doesn’t do that. he listens.

I was saying all of this while ripping my shoes off my feet and tearing the clothes off my body (per his request) and sobbing in the room, and i was still in sub space. i laid everything in my head out for him for the first time ever, and he was not mad. I apologized for being angry, for ugly crying, for throwing a fit over and over again. he said that it wasn’t even a fit and he was not angry in the slightest. he wanted me to speak my mind, and he didn’t shy away from me like most people do when i get passionate. he kissed me until I stopped crying, because sometimes thats what you need. like i said, poly is hard. but it is irreplacable too.

She got four times the amount of time with him that I did after that. and I wasn’t mad. i am always grateful of the time i get with him and then i am grateful of the time I spend away from him meeting new people, experiencing new things, talking about the way we work and how we live. I am grateful that he is mentally strong enough and capable of having all three of us, although i’m sure it would be different if we were in the same city. I think if we all spend a little too much time together things can get fucked, which brings me to the next day.

my Sunday mornings with them are always fun. we had a good weekend, we got to see our friends, we got to spend time with one another. I always am up before them on sunday’s ready to help with whatever they need, because i enjoy serving. This sunday started off good. I ate breakfast with the clan we were visiting, got to say hello to everyone before heading back up to the room. it was wonderful. he was in a bed with his wife, and i cuddled back up next to his other partner in the other bed and i wasn’t mad at her at all anymore. When we woke up i helped pack up everything and i took a load down to the car with him, and he had a hand in my hair as we waited patiently for a man in the elevator to leave just so we could get our hands on each other for one more floor. it was that kind of morning. a good one.

However.

things happen and it changes shit dramatically.

Im never going to be a parent but I do know a parent code. Never judge another mom and never critique another mom. im sure when we returned to the hotel room both his other girls were annoyed that i got time with him, even if it was 5 minutes. it sucks. but i wouldnt let it bother me.

His partner makes a comment about his wife’s parenting and what she feeds her children or something she really didn’t have to comment on and then day turns into Jerry Springer.

It seems that the theme for this weekend, her theme was “saying whatever I want to people and expecting no consequences” which is what caused all of the drama. I rode down the elevator with his wife. “I know she wasn’t supposed to say that. mom’s arent supposed to judge other moms.” she was glad I understood. she was trying her best, we all try our best. She was still mad though. I actually got to see him and his wife argue, something I’ve never seen before. but again, he doesn’t argue. he deescalates. and it was out in the god damn parking lot too. she left to go get her stuff and it was just me and him. and he hugged me for a very long time and when I asked him what he needed he said love, and i hugged him tighter. The top of my head doesn’t even reach his chin. but I hugged him tighter. i made him laugh when i said I looked forward to not being a mom.

poly is hard, but it is immensely rewarding.

I left early to grab us a table at IHop. They needed to talk. When they arrived I could tell they DEFINITELY talked. He needed time alone, which I am not surprised considering he was with three girls, two of which are trying to make this life an episode of desperate housewives. i ate with the two woman i consider my sisters, discussing the difference between margerine and butter, talking about my upcoming semester. They were pretending to get along because of me. Poly is sacrifice but it is also gain.

He was tired when he showed up. he looked upset. I have never ate at a more silent table. I invited them to my recital, i told them about someone else I’m talking to and her man that also is interested in me. I tried everything to make him perk up but nothing worked. and I lost my appetite. When we left I went to the bathroom with his girl while his wife went to the car. “In order for him to be happy, I have to be miserable.” She said to me on the way out of ihop. I was astounded. I told her that you can accept it or you can change it and she knew I was right. I don’t believe it to be fair that she thinks that way, that she puts that much pressure on him. i don’t understand how someone could feel that way. again, poly and just relationships in general are hard. I said goodbye to him and I said that I was sorry he didn’t feel good. I feel fine, just perplexed, is what he said. He didn’t feel good and he was dropping, it was obvious. But I stay out of shit and don’t go too deep with them, it’s not my place. I loved on both of my sisters and I saw him and his unmarried partner walking away to go talk. and I cried 30 minutes out of the city and texted him saying I made it worse.

I did not make it worse is what he said. I’ve been checking in with them constantly ever since. If something falls apart I need to know. but he is over at her house tonight, so I’m assuming they are working it out.

Poly is hard. It is hard not being someone’s center of attention at all times, but you grow to love your time with them even more because of it. It’s hard watching your chosen family fight, which is strange for me because I’m the one that eats a snack and watches the drama between my friends. but if my family is upset then so am I, because I’m an extension of them.

It’s hard. But I refuse to give it up. ever.

#me

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maybe-gaybean · 7 years

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don't have me, but answer 1-200 :]

Oh boy here goes nothing!

All my answers are beneath the cut bc I’m sure y’all don’t wanna see all of that :P

200: My crush’s name is: My poly heart is so stressed by this question. Kalvin and Kat199: I was born in: 1998198: I am really: tired lol197: My cellphone company is: AT&T196: My eye color is: Blue195: My shoe size is: 9 1/2194: My ring size is: somewhere between a 7 and 8? 193: My height is: 5′7192: I am allergic to: just a couple of medicines 191: My 1st car was: A 2010 Nissan Altima that I bought from my mum 190: My 1st job was: I’ve been a soccer referee since I was 12, if that counts189: Last book you read: Ahhhh um I read most of Landry Park the other day188: My bed is: my favorite 187: My pet: My lovely cat 186: My best friend: @ebsharon185: My favorite shampoo is: I don’t care. Something that will protect my hair dye I guess 184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox183: Piggy banks are: Good for saving 182: In my pockets: Nothing currently 181: On my calendar: I’m leaving campus on Thursday at noon180: Marriage is: goals179: Spongebob can: fuck off 178: My mom: is stressful177: The last three songs I bought were? I bought two albums last. Both were Tonight Alive 176: Last YouTube video watched: I was watching jacksepticeye play Outlast175: How many cousins do you have? 5174: Do you have any siblings? One and I love her more than anything 173: Are your parents divorced? Nah172: Are you taller than your mom? Nope171: Do you play an instrument? Nah170: What did you do yesterday? Ummm I shopped for a while with my friends @ifyouonlyknewthehalfofit and @marcy665 and we ordered pizza and just chilled.[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: To a degree 168: Luck: Sure167: Fate: Yes166: Yourself: No.165: Aliens: Yes164: Heaven: No163: Hell: No 162: God: Yes, actually 161: Horoscopes: To a degree 160: Soul mates: In a way 159: Ghosts: YES 158: Gay Marriage: Of course!157: War: In a way156: Orbs: Sure155: Magic: Sure [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs!153: Drunk or High: Drunk, I guess 152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Black haired150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes 149: Hot or cold: Hot 148: Summer or winter: Summer!147: Autumn or Spring: Either, they’re both amazing. I guess tho autumn bc the colors are nice. @justkeepdancingonmyown -- You asked this too!

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla145: Night or Day: Night!144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges 143: Curly or Straight hair: On me? Straight. Others? I don’t care142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Neither 140: Mac or PC: depends on what I’m using it for 139: Flip flops or high heals: I hate them both138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor, I guess? 137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Buried or cremated: Cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: Singing 133: Coach or Chanel: I don’t care at all

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: I don’t know D:131: Small town or Big city: Big City130: Wal-Mart or Target:Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam I guess 128: Manicure or Pedicure: Neither. Not about that life 127: East Coast or West Coast: East Coast (Florida, specifically)126: Your Birthday or Christmas: They’re like a week apart so I generally celebrate them both at the same time, tbh125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: DISNEY123: Yankees or Red Sox: Don’t care[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: I wish there was some way that it could be avoided, but the way that history has shaped us, it is inevitable 121: George Bush: Fuck you. 120: Gay Marriage: Thank god it’s legal now jesus christ 119: The presidential election: What kind of bullshit was that? Why is America like this? Electoral college? irrelevant 118: Abortion: Your body is your body and you have my unconditional support in whatever is best for you117: MySpace: I actually never used MySpace (1000% honesty)116: Reality TV: I like paranormal TV shows like Ghost Adventures and Ghost Hunters and all that. Anything else is okay, but I get annoyed with it quickly 115: Parents: We have a very very complex relationship. They don’t respect my gender and have a horrible habit of snooping through my things, both like things and my online life (lit). and they can be controlling and all that. But I really want to believe all of the things they’re doing is done with my best interest at heart. They could be so much worse, I suppose. Plus they gave me my sister so that’s great 114: Back stabbers: Why. Please don’t. 113: Ebay: My dude, if I’m desperate enough, I’ll go anywhere for a good price. Or if I need quick money for obscure items 112: Facebook: Annoying as fuck omg111: Work: I hate sonic!!!110: My Neighbors: I have never met them before in my life. If they were standing near me in a crowd, I’d never know109: Gas Prices: They’re very high, but honestly, I get gas as little as possible, so I save enough to make sure that I can get a full tank every time 108: Designer Clothes: If you got the money, go for it 107: College: Why did I do this to myself :/106: Sports: I love sports!!!!!105: My family: My sister is my everything. I love her more than life itself. Everyone else can fuck off tbh.104: The future: Everytime I think about the future I kinda want to die [ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Like an hour ago I hugged my friend Olive when I gave her a present 102: Last time you ate: I’m eating a brownie as I type this 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Ummmm I met an old friend for Mexican a few months ago. I hadn’t seen her in years 100: Cried in front of someone: I cried watching a phan video with Ash and Sarah the other day. A real cry? I have no idea 99: Went to a movie theater: I visited Sharon at work a couple weeks ago.98: Took a vacation: Ahhhh last summer 97: Swam in a pool: Last summer 96: Changed a diaper: Never 95: Got my nails done: Years ago. I have no concept of time94: Went to a wedding: When I was extremely young93: Broke a bone: A couple years ago92: Got a peircing: Ummm I only have my ears pierced but I started gauging my ears a few weeks ago!91: Broke the law: I got really fucking high Friday night 90: Texted: like 2 minutes ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Either Sharon or Sarah 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: @ebsharon @littlest-hellspawn ,my sister & my cat87: The last movie I saw: I saw Perks of Being a Wallflower a few days ago kinda 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: I want to start T soon85: The thing im not looking forward to: Telling my parents that I’m going to start T and that they will either respect that or leave 84: People call me: Like nicknames? Trash, Meme Lord, Sammy83: The most difficult thing to do is: Exist82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: once 81: My zodiac sign is: Capricorn80: The first person i talked to today was: @littlest-hellspawn79: First time you had a crush: I have no idea at all. Elementary school I guess?78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Mmmm I think I can fool anyone if I wanted to 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: @ifyouonlyknewthehalfofit and I say the same joke at the same time constantly it’s horrifiying 76: Right now I am talking to: Sarah and Ash75: What are you going to do when you grow up: AHHHHHHHHHHHH I want to be a novelist!74: I have/will get a job: at sonic73: Tomorrow: So much shit to do!!!!72: Today: Sleep71: Next Summer: Definitely moving out 70: Next Weekend: Work69: I have these pets: I have a cat, my sister has a cat, and my parents have 2 dogs68: The worst sound in the world: Anything that’s loud and unexpected 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Oh god. I’m don’t cry alot, so no one I guess? 66: People that make you happy: @ebsharon @eldershadow13 @littlest-hellspawn @ifyouonlyknewthehalfofit @marcy665 @prince-of-wind @buckeyewarr1or2 @serenitymasogni @insert-my-clever-url-here and so many other people :)65: Last time I cried: Oh god. Like a real cry? I don’t remember to be honest. Within the last few weeks 64: My friends are: wonderful63: My computer is: slow62: My School: is stressful61: My Car: is doing her best60: I lose all respect for people who: won’t own up to their mistakes. Try to ruin relationships. Use their mental illness to justify abuse or manipulation.59: The movie I cried at was: I cried like a child the first time I watched Big Hero Six 58: Your hair color is: black57: TV shows you watch: Gravity Falls, Hannibal, Dexter, Criminal Minds, SVU, Soul Eater, Inuyasha, Ghost Adventures, and so many more ahhhhhhh56: Favorite web site: probably ao355: Your dream vacation:Disney World, or the beach 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: When I was a sophomore I tore a muscle in my back. That was lit 53: How do you like your steak cooked: I’m a vegetarian :)52: My room is: depends on my state of mind tbh51: My favorite celebrity is: Dan and Phil currently 50: Where would you like to be: Disney World 49: Do you want children: Maybe idk48: Ever been in love: Yes47: Who’s your best friend: @ebsharon obviously46: More guy friends or girl friends: Girls I guess. 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: praise for my writing 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: @ebsharon43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I have vague goals. Nothing specific 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Kinda of. Not officially41: Have you pre-named your children: Yes 40: Last person I got mad at: Probably an ex of mine 39: I would like to move to: Florida 38: I wish I was a professional: writer [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Dark chocolate36: Vehicle: Don’t have one35: President: Obama 34: State visited: Florida 33: Cellphone provider: AT&T32: Athlete: Abby Womback31: Actor: I dunno maybe Mads Mikkelson?30: Actress: Jeez ummmm no answer 29: Singer: Brendan Urie28: Band: Twenty One Pilots27: Clothing store: Hot Topic or Forever 21 26: Grocery store: Target25: TV show: Gravity Falls!24: Movie: Lilo & Stitch23: Website: not tumblr 22: Animal: I love all animals 21: Theme park: Disney World lmao20: Holiday: New Years 19: Sport to watch: Football or Soccer 18: Sport to play: SOCCER 17: Magazine: None 16: Book: SO MANY WHY 15: Day of the week: Friday14: Beach: Tybee Island!13: Concert attended: Hannah Montana but I was extremely young and haven’t been to a concert in many years 12: Thing to cook: COOKIES FUCK YOU SARAH 11: Food: French fries 10: Restaurant: Olive Garden or Panera Bread 9: Radio station: None 8: Yankee candle scent: I have no idea at all7: Perfume: I use Old Spice Fiji cologne6: Flower: Dogwood flowers (I have a dogwood flower tattoo!)5: Color: PURPLE4: Talk show host: ????No clue????3: Comedian: Brandon Calvillo (does that count?)2: Dog breed: Pit Bull1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yep

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