#im so scared what if i dont get in im gonna have to be a dropout forever and like i know theres nothing wrong with that but its just the

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi! im 15 with awfully heavy periods and my parents + doctors (gyno, therapist, etc) think its necessary for me to get a marina (hormone implants in your vagina i think, im too scared to look it up if im being honest.) the problem is that im really opposed to it because i dont want anyone touching me downstairs, and my auntie said it would really hurt.

do you think i should get it, probably be really distressed for a few weeks but be fine with my period for the next handful of years, or keep looking for less invasive options that might be more expensive and less effective?

thanks!

hello there! thank you for your question!

so, first off, I'm just going to say that your body is yours and you get to make the decisions about what happens with it. if you don't want a Mirena implant, that's your decision and you have every right to make that choice, end of.

I do think it's valuable to have a full sense of what exactly you're saying no to, so if it's okay I would like to do a little walkthrough of the information about the IUD that you've been avoiding looking into. I'm gonna do my best to make it unscary, I promise.

Mirena IUDs are placed in the uterus, hence the name; "IUD" stands for intrauterine device.

there it will decrease chances of pregnancy by releasing small amounts of levonorgestrel. this will cause thickening of the mucus in your cervix (the space between your vagina and uterus) to make it harder for sperm to ever reach and egg and thinning of the lining of your uterus to make it harder for any fertilized eggs to attach there and grow into a pregnancy.

menstruation happens when your body rids itself of unused uterine lining, which is why many people find their periods are lighter when they have an IUD - less lining ideally equals less blood, less cramping, and less pain overall.

usually, this decrease in period intensity happens after 3 months of having an IUD in place. some people with IUDs - about 20%, certainly not a majority but not an insignificant number - stop having a period entirely after a year or more.

once an IUD is put in place, it's good for up to eight years, although it can be taken out any time earlier than that if you want it removed sooner.

common side effects experienced by people with IUDs are similar to what many people experience on their periods: headaches, acne, sore breasts, cramping, and emotional irregularities. bleeding for the first few months is also common; many find that their bleeding will be worse before it gets better.

it's also uncommon, but not impossible, for your IUD to slip out of place. there are several risk factors that make this more likely, including youth (under the age of 20), having long and difficult periods, and if you've been pregnant.

in regards to your worry about pain during implantation, it's not unreasonable. very few people that I know of would describe the process as particularly comfortable, and it's very painful for some. while the trade off of brief discomfort for 8 years of instant birth control can certainly be worth it for some, it's ultimately a personal decision and up to you to weigh the pros and cons to decide what's best for you.

if you're interested in seeking out other forms of medical intervention for your periods, there are plenty of other forms of hormonal birth control to look at. a similar method worth comparing would be the hormonal implant that goes in your arm and lasts for three years; it's obviously not as long-lasting but can provide similar benefits without requiring anyone to touch your genitalia.

I hope this helps.

#sex edventures 2024

[izaytiji]

ROBLOX N CHILL?! 🎮 ; BAKUGOU KATSUKI

bakugou katsuki x reader

summary: you’ve convinced bakugou to play roblox with you during your sleep over.

authors note: i haven’t proofread it and it’s more of a blurb than a fic (i wrote this when i was obsessed with roblox) also my auto caps are off and im too lazy to turn them on

“what the fuck! i lost!?” katsuki screamed at his phone seeing that he only got voted 7 stars for that round while you got first place. “kats’ try to be on theme next time.” he side eyed you before huffing as the next round was about to start. yes you somehow convinced the katsuki bakugou to play dress to impress with you, although it only took a couple of huffing and puffing from him until he agreed. the next theme was “coquette” which katsuki had no idea what it meant.

“the hell is coquette? like a chef?” you giggled and explained to him before the time ran out and he had no outfit on.

“no kats’, that’s a cook. coquette is cute pink stuff with like bows.” he thought for a moment before grunting and roaming around the game to make an outfit. you and bakugou split ways that round to make your outfits which meant you had no idea how his outfit turned out until it was time to present them. you forced bakugou to give you 5 stars when it was your turn up. at first he kept yelling “HELL NO!” or “AS IF, YOU DONT DESERVE IT.” but eventually your puppy dog eyes worked on him and he gave in. finally it was his turn up and you had to force yourself not to laugh at his totally off theme outfit. he was a flamingo with a tie on.

“kats’s this is not what i meant by pink and bow.” bakugou side eyed you with the most offended look ever. “whatever fucking ever you said pink and a flamingo is pink, bows are the same thing as ties.” he tried justifying his outfit which caused you to crack and let out a laugh.

“I DON’T WANNA PLAY ‘TIS STUPID GAME ANYMORE.” he left the game and huffed with an agitated look on his face as you kept on laughing straight at his face. “shut the hell up roblox nerd.”

you gasped offended and clutched your shirt jokingly. “well excuse me, i am not a roblox nerd”

bakugou rolled his eyes and grunted. “as if, you have matching avatars and these shirts are stupid.” you pinched his bicep and furrowed your eyebrows. “they’re not! i think it’s funny and cute” all you got as a response is his mean side eye.

“whatever, pick a different game already.” you thought for a moment as you readjusted your position on the bed to get more comfortable. “how about the mimic?” you swore you saw sweat form on bakugou’s forehead but ignored it as it was fairly hot in your dorm room so it could just be because of that.

“fine, hurry up and join it.” he grumbled before clicking ‘join game’

you two played together which of course you mad bakugou always go first. your screams would scare him and he’d end up also slightly screaming out of shock.

“it’s just a roblox game, big baby, gonna blow my ears up.” he said while fully focused on the game, trying to figure out the puzzle.

“boy please, your quirk is louder than my screams you’ll be fine.” you rolled your eyes and ended up leaving the game due to the fact that the puzzle was causing a headache for both you and bakugou.

“tch. whatever, hate this stupid game.” he threw his phone on the pillow before crashing down on his back. you looked down at him as you were perched up on your elbow.

“you say that everytime you get defeated.” you pinch his nose and laughed. bakugou raised his eyebrows and scrunched his face.

“whatever, big baby.” he pulled you in, making you lay right ontop of him. “i’m tired, goodnight. don’t move too much or else i’ll wake up.”

just like that he was out like a light. you groaned seeing the clock’s reflection on your bedside table.

“but it’s only 8 pm…”

#bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou fluff #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x y/n #mha #mha x reader #my hero academia

[kavehayi]

kisses on space street • NEBULAE

aventurine x gn!reader • fluff (ongoing series)

chapter summary: pretty boy aventurine has completely taken over your college campus and everyone is warning you to stay away! however, (un)lucky for you, he's got his eyes on you.

author's note: finally doing this series😭 ive been meaning to and nothing ever came to mind to get rid of my writer's block but now im delivering the first chapter☝️

August 23rd, 20XX.

first day of college. you had to try and find your way around the huge campus from the library to the food hall to the area where your actual major resided. the place was a little overwhelming and you had a bit of trouble making your way around.

however, someone came up to help you find your way around.

aventurine. the man with beautiful eyes, is talking to you, an average person. "heya, pretty, you look lost, where do ya need to go?" he cooed in that sweet, honey-like voice. you looked a little shocked he was actually talking to you of all people. guess he sensed that since he let out a lighter chuckle, "ya look shocked, you good?" he asked, now you just have to snap out of it.

you spoke up, "yeah yeah, im...uh, fine, just looking for where my professor's classroom is at" you spoke politely. you didn't wanna waste his time, especially because he definitely has better people to talk to. you showed him the classroom number and his face lit up, "hey i have to go there too! i found it earlier, follow me" he stated pretty enthusiastically. you followed him to the classroom and he opened his mouth again.

he does not know how to shut up, huh?

he spoke up, "so, pretty, you livin' on campus?" he asked. you didn't really wanna tell him this but you went ahead and did it anyways. "uhm, yeah, im living in a dorm with a roommate, don't know his name though, didn't bother looking at the sheet." you cant believe you said that. now hes gonna bother you about looking at the sheet. "oo! let me see for you, i know everyone here" he didnt even really ask to see it, he kinda just stole your papers and looked through. judging by how his face lit up.

he was your roommate.

great.

he left you alone after he lead you to class and when lunchtime came, you went to the nearby cafe to speak to your friends. seems they had some warnings for you. "hey loser! over here!" they called you over and you sat down.

"yknow guys, i met the most obnoxious guy ever today" you started off, catching your friends' attention. your friends' names are robin, a music major. brother is sort of all over the place but he's nice. robin is also a travelling musician so there's some weeks where you never see her but she keeps contact. veritas ratio, prefers being called ratio. older than you and robin and is a junior in college. you guys only met because he accidentally threw chalk at your head when you were a junior in high school minding your business in math class.

"cant be as obnoxious as aventurine, i mean, he's literally loud and pretty so he gets away with it" robin stated and you went really quiet.

"so what if i said it was aventurine?" you questioned and robin dropped her sandwich on the table and ratio, sorta didn't show a reaction. kinda just glared. "stay away from him! he locks his eyes on someone and then ruins their life from what i heard!" robin stated with a scared expression and ratio just scoffed. "all you hear is rumors, miss robin. why dont you just get to know the guy for once, hm?" he asked her with a glare her way, robin just picked up her sandwich and ate it with a pout.

"always have a way of bullying the poor girl, huh, ratio?" you asked him, in which he just grunted and sipped his tea. "anyways, aventurine, i seriously cannot escape him, he's my roommate and in my class" you stated, robin just about imploded.

"no way! good luck dealing with him, dont be too interesting around him or else he'll target you" she said with a nervous sounding voice. you guys ended up finishing our lunch and parting ways, you and ratio going back to the campus while robin had some things to do back at her studio.

the entire day passed you by and it'd already been nine at night. you started heading back to your dorm, hoping that aventurine wasnt there. yet of course, nothing you wish for, actually happens.

"pretty! you're back, how was your first day?" he cooed, he had friends over and he didnt even bother considering how you'd feel about that. "it was fine, im going to my room, dont make too much noise" you stated before walking away. aventurine didnt think you'd be this prickly.

whatever, not like it mattered.

why should you care how he feels.

too bad for you though, he's interested in you now.

#aventurine fluff #aventurine angst #honkai star rail #hsr fics #hsr fluff #fluff #angst #angst with a happy ending #hsr angst #made by 💐 #🍰 fics #🍰 ongoing

[miwtual]

im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website

#kai.txt #negativity tw #(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them) #we make gifs and nobody reblogs them #when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds #'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op' #reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something #that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place #we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does #to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting #and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces #go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets #that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases #or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place #but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces #they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either #they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters #im just so fucking tired of the disrespect #and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site #we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob: #BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY. #THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM.. #grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM. #I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much... #GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE.. #i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

[sapphicsnzs]

sometimes this kink makes me feel so guilty and i wish i didn’t have it

#snz blog #snz kink #snzblr #like i dont wanna talk about myself being sick cause im scared im gonna get judged #i try to be so careful about getting other people sick and i test every time i get sick but i just feel guilty #i don’t even know the point of this i just feel guilty and bad that i have this kink sometimes #i don’t know what this post even is probsvh my sleep deprived brain being dumb #i’m just worried people are judging me and coming to conclusions that i’m careless with other peoples health snd i swear im not #that’s it lol my brain is working overtime

[carpisuns]

ladynoir............[starts violently sobbing and melts into a pile of goo like the wicked witch of the whichever direction it was. west probably]

#honestly theyre the side i can only think about for short periods at a time #bc i get incredibly emotional and my heart is so frail and weak #the inherent TRAGEDY of it #!!!! #of WANTING to be so close to them but even the wanting is fraught with danger!!!!!! #of PINING for someone whose name you dont know!!!!! #and the world you have sworn to protect together is the world that indefinitely keeps you apart!!!!!! #the fear of loss!!!!!!! #of facing your own death every day but the one you're scared of is theirs!!!! #the 'no one understands but you' of it all!!!! the 'you're the only one iin the world who could possibly get what it's like to feel this'!! #im. i gotta go im gonna start molting or something idk #thanks abby #mine #ladynoir

[whiskingskin]

Dudes will have millions of dollars and all the free time in the world and a cool car and their own company and endless free time and with all that power they will sit at their computer and bash 1/3rd of the very website they own

#predestrogen #hammercar #like how stupid do you have to be... #“Im gonna buy the transgender website. sure hope theres no transgenders 🫶” #how long until there is no more safe space online for trans women??? #and from then? then what? there will be no space for them at all #fuck u matty-poo i hope you have a very inconvenient day and step in a puddle and your socks get wet #*gets banned for having an opinion the cishets dont agree with* #i also hope that a car covered in hammers that sometimes explodes and throws the hammers everywhere #is somewhat near you <3 #babes ur not winning this.... the silenced do not try to be heard with whispers. prepare for the screams lol #ik hes a wimp when one person writes out a vague threat n he gets so scared he nukes a third of the website #like #girl

[seariii]

hmm...

#vent post #seari talks #i feel a little scared... just thinking about the stuff i need to do... and i got a message that i cant answer on my own and the person who #i need the answer from wasnt... helpful... i dont know what to say now... i should say i'll look into it or something... but... #sigh... the whole situation is difficult since i have to... *big sigh* fuck... #if this goes wrong... will they blame me? what will happen to me?... i did ask back in the day... i have the messages... so technically im #safe but... sigh... how stressful... #and i have to check all of this other stuff too... #... i dont like this... i so dont like this... but its okay its gonna be okay... its just the beginning that its scary but once we actually #start running everything will get easier and easier and more comfortable and.... sigh... #for now... lets do what we- fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck who sent me a message fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck #i dont wanna open the message #*checks* okay everything will be okay... everything will be okay.... yes... *sigh* #IM OKAY EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY!!!! #i just have to focus on the matters at hand. i reported this so its gonna get reviewed now. and what i need to do is this other thing... #and study i have to do that too... and read that too... okay thats not difficult ive got this

[xiewho]

starting acoc today i hope nothing bad happens to them !!!

#im gonna be SO annoying #u guys dont get it #also i finished aso #but i have unfinished fanart so i. have to finish it first. #but im so busy omg research is beating my ass #anyways i hope nothing bad happens to my silly little candy people #whats the worst that could happen truly #(im so scared)

[ominouspositivity-or-else]

i think one of my professors has realized that many of the students he teaches think he's a bit of a hardass. i feel so bad. he's genuinely such a sweetheart. he's spent the last two classes dropping comments like "please don't think i'm a sadist. if you're doing this project and thinking 'this is inhumane, but you know Dr. M', please, just come talk to me." like wtf i need to give a speech about how great a guy he is???? i genuinely need to give a persuasive speech about how fun his classes are??? like he's a pain at times and a tough grader but look at me. look at me. he's so reasonable. he has high expectations for everybody evenly. I got a 78 on a final that i thought i absolutely flunked okay? he's reasonable and he's funny in the driest way! it's not nice for people to think he's MEAN. he's not!!! he's just an awkward english professor!!!! be NICE to him FROM NOW ON!!!!

#psychoanalyzing my professor #i think it's getting to him #and i feel horrible #because the first semester i had him i literally thought he was so evil #he's NOT #in fact he's way less evil than a professor everybody likes because he's way more comfy talking to a class #dr m is NOT comfy with public speaking but genuinely he's so nice #he's a tough grader but do you know what he doesn't do???? #expect more than you can give!!! #he wants everything from you but when you give everything its gonna be FINE!!! #and yeah on the tests and stuff he wants what he says repeated back to him but if you pay attention and think clearly about it its going to #dont give him more than exactly what he asks for #only bs if you have no clue whatsoever #you'll do FINE #lowest grade i've gotten on a test from him was a B- #and like. im proud of that!!! #Also when he wants things he's really good at explaining what it is he wants to see #also he's so insanely smart it scares me #anyways #there are many benefits to attending a catholic college

[cyronite]

im so used to how finely curated my fandom experience is with star wars that im actually suffering trying to navigate the fallout fandom rn.

#cy speaks #i am having a bad time #think im just gonna do what i did with my sw blog and like just bulid my own little sandbox and ignore people for the most part lol #write my fic and ignore the majority of the fandom #also im begging people to tag shit properly #tired of being jumped scared by untagged vaultgh*ul in the main tag #i have avoided so many tags for it already #i dont care if you ship it but i cannot get behind it #lowkey gives me the ick bc i only got platonic found family vibes with cooper and lucy #also some of the fans of that ship are very weird and rude about maximus #for reasons we all know (racism) but so many deny #and the way so many are treating lucy like just some insert and disregard her character doesnt sit right with me #but now im just rambling in the tags so im gonna stop <3 #gonna build my little sandbox

[moonlit-orchid]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[tamagotchikgs]

just got the news that since my brother is moving away we’ll have to move back home & get a trailer to live in and i cant handle that dude i cant move back there with everything all the memories and all the bad stuff everything tthat is that place i cant do it i cant even breathe thinking about it ive never knwon fear like this and i am in a constant state of varying terror

#having to live in a trailer would suck enough on its own. i have to get rid of all my furniture #i just got a bed #i had been having to sleep on the floor since i was 16 #i just got a room of my own for the first time in my entire life #i got a desk #also my anxiety is so bad in close quarters #but mostly im worried about my cats #how are they gonna live in a tiny little trailer with my mom #she hates them #i dont want them to know what it’s like to be hated #im just. so scared #im going to cry #no actually i am crying #i just don’t want to go back there

[dandyshucks]

blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl

#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭 #and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads #which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those #so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time #i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos #ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl #the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl #every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!! #''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/ #''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍 #I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ???? #what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly. #vent // #SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community #i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos #it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl #i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl #(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it) #(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl) #delete later #dandyshucks

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one? #the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone