#im so glad i went back to look for this poem though

[sfsolstice]

exurb1a, from "Inventory" in Poems for the Lost Because I'm Lost Too

#lit #literature #typo #typography #fragments #light academia #dark academia #oops typo! #exurb1a #love #poetry #poem #quotes #aesthetic #i didn't have this one dog-eared for some reason but i still had these two lines underlined #something was pulling on me to look for this poem (bc truthfully i forgot that i even underlined this part lol) #im so glad i went back to look for this poem though #bc now i'm crying at 10:30 am :') #maybe we'll meet again under better circumstances #that's what i hope at least if you're reading this #240304

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

First off, love your writing, IT MAKES ME FEEL THINGS😭😭 but…

Can we please get more of yandre emo boy Ashton I JUST READ IT AND IM DROOLING SCREAMING CRYING GIGGLING AMD KICKING MY FEET😭🧎‍♀️🤪🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

THANK YOU❤️❤️🤭🤭🤭

(If not that’s okay, ignore this bae🫶)

Yandere! Stereotypical! Emo and his beloved popular bitch

Ayo, thank you for the compliment! I'm glad my writings made you feel things (I don't know what though LMAO)

Actually, I'm not planning to follow up Ashton, but hey, at least it would break my writer's block (lol it's just laziness) so here ya go!

Sorry that it took days though 😔

FOR THIS ONE, I RECOMMEND READING THE FIC FIRST BEFORE THE DRABBLE (this one).

Read the yandere emo fic here!

💌Little Ashton was misunderstood a lot as a child. He never really liked the same things the other children liked, and he had this morbid curiosity with death and occult.

💌Of course, this undoubtedly scared his family, making him out to be some sort of psychopath.

💌This irked Ashton of course. He's just... That. He still loves his parents, and nothing would change that.

💌But the fact that they're so conservative that it's actually bringing Ashton down is what drove him over the edge to find a school far, far away from his family.

💌A small, quaint town, yet filled with teenagers. It was kind of a nightmare when Ashton found out, but he gritted his teeth and thought that maybe, with the current years, maybe they won't judge him. Maybe.

💌So, he indulged more in his Emo lifestyle. He religiously listened to green day, Panic! At the Disco, My Chemical Romance...

💌He even got into writing poems as a way to put out his feelings that he never got to tell other people.

💌 He's actually very sensitive with emotions and feelings. So technically, he should be a great friend candidate, right?

💌But once he got into the school year, that's when he knew, that his life would be living hell. Stereotypes left and right. Mean cheerleaders and jocks that ostracized his choice of clothing, snobby rich students that turn their noses on him just because he's not that rich, geeks and nerds that keeps getting in his way, thinking he's one of them.

💌"Fuck. Get me out of here. Nobody understands me."

💌He didn't realize himself, but he's also slowly being a stereotype. Always alone, writing poems, and being unnecessarily nihilistic.

💌Until of course, one day, you transfered. You, your pink rover, and your slutty little outfit.

💌God, just looking at you and your charming personality made Ashton hard fall for you.

💌He wants you. So bad.

💌So he dabbled back into the occults. He found an old book in an abandoned "witch's hut" that he went on a mad hunt for weeks. Apparently, the witch that lived there was a matchmaker witch, who gave love potions to those really desperate.

💌At first, Ashton didn't believe it. Especially that it involves sampaguita, a flower not native to his town. How did the witch even get the flowers?

💌But there he was, mixing and creating the potion under the moonlight and putting your hair and his in the pot. Creating a love potion that smelled like the sampaguitas he had to smuggle in.

💌He wrote you letters everyday, obsessing and hyper fixating on your allure and beauty. Confessing over and over again on paper that looks old and aged with writing that looks like it came from a fountain pen. With a spritz of the love potion, he would put it in your locker.

💌God, who knew that it would work?

💌Day by day, he watched you read the letters. At first, you were disgusted (much to his dismay) but slowly, you started to read the letters with a neutral face, then a smile, then with a squeal and then a desperate plea for him to come and fuck you already.

💌Maybe putting his... Semen on your love potion got you desperate for him carnally, rather than romantically.

💌But no fretting, he would just make you fall for him.

💌And as you moan and scream out his name as he pounds into your tight hole like the feral, fuck machine he is,

💌He was pleading to the moon to see his bleeding heart and bare soul to make you his.

💌And if the moon won't allow it,

💌Well, it's nothing more love potions won't do.

💌"my beloved, why don't you drink this sweet tea I made? Why is it pink and smells floral? It's a new tea from Japan. Sakura, from what I know. It's glowing? Nonsense, love. It's probably just the lighting."

💌"Now drink up, don't let a drop go to waste."

#yandere boyfriend #yandere imagines #yandere male #yandere writing #male yandere x reader #tw yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere fic #yandere drabbles #lizzaneiaelizalde

[water-mellie-seeds]

Lake I’ve become so rejection sensitive dysphoria-ly upset by something so trivial tell me about your fos

I TRULY understand this one RSD is a cruel mistress for Real

OH BOY at risk of talking about serizawa AGAIN and at risk of talking about upwards of 50 f/os lets talk about our f/o fight finalists!

Approaching this as if the people reading Do Not Know all of these characters,just in case some people in fact do not know anything about them

Luigi! He's definitely the f/o I've known and loved the longest! The year of luigi was catered to me specifically/j I just think his evolution as a character is SO interesting,especially in the M&L series. He is just such a genuinely good guy,he's sweet and even competitive (moreso in the party/kart/sports games) and I would legitimately do anything for him. I feel this way about a lot of my f/os but i genuinely wish i could just tell him how important he is BECAUSE EVERYONE IS SO MEAN TO HIM SO MUCH(i know its for the bit but cmon!) oh yeah mario and that other guy type thing YOU LNOW HIS NAME >:(

Kumatora. I could literally talk at length about her but ultimately id just go in circles. Her recklessness when she was younger reminds me of mine. She's a badass,and she's sassy and headstrong and super powerful and yet so chill. She's also just. A good person. I know that if shit got real she would protect me,and even though i am absolutely all talk when it comes to my ability to kick ass,id do my best to protect her too. Also she has PSI so i mean. Kind of a pattern with me,huh?

Dr. Jan. I've always loved people who work in museums or amusement parks and the like. I love to see people who actually...like their jobs. Who make it their own and have fun with it! So..it's only natural id end up liking her. She's an enthusiast of all things ancient and an avid cryptid nerd. I LOVE her enthusiasm. I LOVE her vibe she is also very pretty.

Shuichi. I'm gonna be so honest i do not much like Danganronpa V3 as a game. I love the characters in it,though. but he's a really good protagonist and he just feels...very organic. His struggles with self worth and confidence really resonate with me and i love how he slowly starts to open up and really get into it during cases/trials! I'm also a voice guy and. I really like his voice very much i sometimes listen to like. Shuichi saihara voice files compilations on YouTube it scratches my brain.

Monika. Look. Again I'm a voice guy. Also,i stayed with her for every. Single. Topic she could bring up. Multiple times over. I am down fucking bad. I tried to start a literature club because of her in my own school. I started writing poems again because of her. She told me to put her file on a usb and carry it with me always and i did. I bought a lil white ribbon and tied it on there and then i put the usb on a neckace made of frayed computer wire and i BROUGHT HER EVERYWHERE I WENT. I am in love with her. She is. The true concept of an f/o. And she loves us back,that's the part that gets me.

Queen. Yeah i like silly women i like robots. No one is surprised. She is so cool i want to drink battery acid with her. Ill become a peon i dont even carw

CAPT. SPACEBOY. I haven't ever really been able to pinpoint why EXACTLY im so into him,but i am. I could treat him so so well. I couldn't fit him absolutely not but we could be worse together <3 he sings,he travels through space he's a pirate and also super nice and hospitable. We both got funky mental illnesses going on also hes just hot. Like objectively.

Jessie and James. Package deal. Im glad tumblr seems to appreciate them as much as i do. Theyre both SUCH well written characters. I have known them forever. When i saw them crossdressing as a kid it blew my mind. PEOPLE CAN DO THAT???? Indigo league in general is so so good,but jessie and james really steal the show. They have such interesting and compelling backstories and they are poor just like me fr.(well ok team rocket is. James' family doesnt count i would have also left) we could go on a date to the clearance section in the supermarket./hj i just love them very much ALSO THEY SHOULDNT HAVE TAKEN AWAY JAMES' FAKE BOOBIES! NOT FAIR! I would never do that to him.

Thank you for listening if you guys ever wanna pick an f/o on the list for me to go off about i will do it. For you all

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Hi!!! I just saw your matchup event and i couldn’t resist the urge to participate >-<. I’m glad that I saw it, because I just scrolled past your masterlist and I saw some juicy content which i’m DEFINITELY gonna read later!!!

I wanna congratulate you for your 300 followers, i’m sure you really deserve them!! <33

Of course ignore this if it’s uncomfortable for you, no pressure!!

Okay so the fandom i’m gonna request from is Haikyuu!

I’m a scorpio, ISFP, 7w6, I really like photography and i’m studying cinema atm. My hobby is writing poems since i consider it the only way I can properly express my emotions; I also like to read, especially manga, and listen to music. I love to experiment hair colours hehe

I’m a stubborn person, with precise goals in life. I love creating new relationships but, the moment the other person shows me that they don’t really care about me, I’m gonna leave without looking back.

Im very loyal in friendships or relationships, and I love to listen to people. I’m very independent and I prefer to stay alone most of the times

I hope I described myself enough because I don’t really know what to say 🫠

Thank you in advance for your time and take care 🥺🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻

Fandom: Haikyuu

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: Spoiler from the manga (Akaashi's job)

Word Count: 0.6K

A/n: This one was tough lmao. Thank you so much honey! I'm glad that you enjoyed my work! feel free to send requests if you have anything on your mind :>💕

I match you with...

Keiji Akaashi!

I was actually doubtful about Choosing between Oikawa and Akaashi, but in the end I went with Akaashi cause you know... He's Akaashi :>

Akaashi is a super thoughtful and understanding person. He's kind, also indepentednt and charming as hell. He will never cross your boundaries and always gives you the space and time you need to yourself; though he will not hesitate to interfere when you have a serious problem and will do his best to make you feel better.

You do not have to worry about his feeling toward you. As I said before, he is a thoughtful guy, and he will definitely think it through before stepping in a relationship. If he's in a relationship with you, you have to know that he definitely loves you; or else he wouldn't be here.

He listens to other people (Bokuto) just like you and will do his best to make them feel better (we've witnessed that in the anime) so you have something to talk about when you open up to each other lol; because sometimes listening to people just takes so much energy, you know?...

Akaashi is also a supportive boyfriend. He shows interest in the major your studying (no matter what it is) and will gather information about it so he can have a better understanding of what you're interested into. He will be your model if you ask him to (ask him, this hot guy is definitely a good catch), I'm not sure if he will be willing to let you color his hair, but I'm sure you can both compromise on it or maybe even make a bargain...? <3

You like reading manga? Well lucky for you, your s/o is a manga editor! You can read all the manga's he edits before gettng published officially, so that's definitely a benefit to you🚶🏻‍♀️

Akaashi loves to be in a relationship with an independent person. He admires your independence. He's been taking care of people for quite a while, and he prefers to be with someone who's mature and is able to take care of himself.

He is a pro at reading your mood, and as the thoughtful boyfriend he is, he will give you the space you need. He might not even ask you about your problem directly, but he will ask you how you're feeling and if you need help with anything. So don't think that he doesn't care about you; he just doesn't want to bother you and trusts you because he knows you're able to do thing on your own.

This guy might look cold, but he has a big golden heart, and you don't have to look closely to notice it :)

In a relationship, he's actually warm caring person. Not the energetic type of boyfriend, but the smooth type of guy. He makes you feel relaxed and comfortable, you feel like you can open up to him about anything since he's not judgmental and Honestly it's hard not to fall in love with a guy who's always sweet and polite :>. So if you're looking for something comfy, peaceful and calm, he's definitely the guy for you.

Tries his best to keep a balance between his work and you. Even when he's been working for 5 hours, he will still take you to the restaurant he promised you only to see your beautiful smile.

Please don't let him overwork himself tho ಥ_ಥ

I think I should have matched you with Kuroo, but I don't know... 🚶🏻‍♀️

Thanks for participating in my event! :)

#Akaashi x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #Keiji akaashi x reader #akaashi fluff #akaashi headcanons #hq headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #Akaashi hcs #Akaashi x you #Akaashi x y/n #AshTheMadWriter's 300 follower event #AshTheMadWriter

[tsukasageorge]

you want me, i want you, but love will devour us all too quickly

WARNING: these poems discuss dark topics such as death and suicide. if you're not in the mood for something sad (or long) please take care of yourself and don't read this.

you

you are calm bordering on indifferent bordering on apathetic

which you're glad to be

but when you do get mad you throw darts at the board

and you are too upset to aim, so you miss

and you miss

and you miss

and every hole in the wall is another hole in your heart

until you collapse to the floor, bleeding.

want

you want to be an actor or an artist or an animator but you still remember when you didn't want to be anything but gone.

you want to be loved by all, but you told me all those years ago that love and hate aren't so different.

you want to be pretty, skinny, funny, smart, strong, fast, talented. back then you wanted to be kind too, didn't you? oh, how time flies.

you want to be more than you are, and that's okay, but it doesn't mean

that you will ever

be more

than nothing.

me

you always did tell me you loved me.

not to my face

but to my hair when you braided it before we went to bed

to my hands when you squeezed them and promised me it'd be alright

to my shoulders when you happily wrapped your arms around them

and to my eyes

my eyes that refuse to leave you

even after the black body bag is wheeled out of sight.

I

I lay in the barkchips on warm summer evenings to watch the stars and see if they've changed

slowly but surely they move across the sky like snails

and i think about how even though they're already dead

they're still on a journey

their light touching planets an unfathomable distance away

i think about how those stars went up in flames and brought their whole solar system down with them

and I think about how we look at those stars and see them as beautiful, not as things that raised billions of organisms just to kill them one day.

im sure that there is just as much blood on my hands as there is on those stars

and i can only hope that some way, some how, i can make up for all the people who's lives i stole

by ending my own.

want

perhaps the want is where it all started.

a tiger hunts its prey not because it wants to, but because it needs to.

a rabbit runs from a wolf not because it wants to, but because it needs to.

life is pushed by need

and only when you no longer need

can you begin to want

humans survived the need

but be careful, the rabbit warns

want will swallow you whole.

you

you don't remember all the times that you ran ahead of me when we were little

never asking me where we should go next

only leaving me to clean up after you

but i do

and you don't remember the time you had a panic attack and ran through the forest and got lost, but you do remember me hugging you after we finally found each other and really, that's all that's worth remembering.

you pretend you don't remember the time i showed up at your house mid-mental breakdown and begged you to tell me why she did that to me. why she said that when i was just a little kid, when i loved her more than myself.

and i pretend i don't remember you making me packet hot cocoa and calming me down and binge watching game shows together until we fell asleep on your bed

i guess we thought ignoring it would be best

but id give away my heart, my body, and my soul to have one more night like that with you

even knowing what I'd wake up to the next day

because I never wanted to let you die

somewhere that wasn't in my arms.

but

all the other towns have found their river

all the other cities have built their dams

i sit by a muddy puddle

watching the frog that sits in it

hoping that one day it'll leap away and show me the way

but it's dead

and i'm dead

and you're dead

i may not be able to feel love

but i think i can understand

the fear of losing it.

love

you are nothing without love.

you can have your fancy car

and your pathetic little family

you can work as hard as you want

for as long as you want

until your flesh tears from bone, for all I care

but nothing you do will ever matter

because you can't feel it.

love is the only light in this world.

love is the only joy in this world.

without it you are useless.

so, so useless.

will

a want is where it started and a will is where it ended.

you wanted to love me

i wanted to love you

and so we did.

we loved.

i said i wanted to spend my whole life with you

but life can only get you so far,

so let's give death a try, huh?

as it turns out, a will to live and a will to lie

are not so different after all.

devour

you're never really satisfied, you know.

you're like a black hole

breathing in galaxies but never breathing out

I hope one day you learn that

you can devour as many planets as you want

but that will never fill the void inside of you.

us

we're like a firework in a pond

a wheel that bounces instead of turns

lily pads scattering the halls

a sky on fire, we watch the clouds burn.

we're like a long car ride at midnight

a painting of pinocchio 

the three blue eyes on the wall

a tiger chasing a doe

and we set the sky on fire

we watch the world burn

but none of it matters

we'll all be devoured soon anyways.

all

on a warm summer night, as we were lying in the bark chips you told me

about life. about death. about flaws.

and you told me people are all the same

spending their time trying to honor the dead

rather than celebrate the living

but you suppose you don't mind

recieving flowers for your suffering

(that's why i always bought bouquets for the table.)

you always said that one life is insignificant compared to the planet, the universe.

my question is,

are the fractions worth the same as the whole?

are the many really more valuable than the few?

do we all add up to anything

but tragedy?

you had no answer,

but i asked anyway.

too

we're driving fast through the night

as the shadows chase our car

like monsters drilling minutes into the clock that winds

and winds until it explodes. 

we're going too far too fast and there's sirens begging us to stop but we can't stop. not yet.

i clutch my phone to my chest

still set to the message your mother sent me

and i hope that you can hear me

because we always did have a funny way of reading each other's thoughts.

right now my thoughts are full of

I should have noticed

I should have seen the voices screaming valor winding and winding

and now you've exploded

and what am I left to do but follow in your footsteps yet again?

and i know that you can hear me

because you always did have a funny way of reading my thoughts

but it seems like 

too fast for us

was too little, too late. 

quickly

i never did like time.

the thought of death didn't bother me

hell, heaven, or nothing,

it didn't matter because i wouldn't be alone.

but the way the little red hand ran in circles

feeling the life i had left slip through  my fingers like sand

never knowing how much there was

or how it would run out

felt much worse

than love ever could.

did you find it annoying,

me trailing behind you

talking about how time was too slow and too quick at the same time

never shutting up

or leaving you alone?

probably.

you thought you could get rid of me, didn't you?

well, too bad

im not letting you go just yet.

there's a long road to tomorrow

but it'll be yesterday before we know it.

thank you for reading!

#death tw #poetry #suicide tw #poem #suicide mention #writing #long post

[hotchley]

🐨 Yay, I’m glad it’s going well for you! Don’t be afraid to speak up; you’re so freaking smart and everyone should hear what you have to say. I’ve been accepted to one college, applied to two more that I’ll hear back from in December, and then I’m waiting on one more letter of recommendation before I can submit the last few.

The college I got accepted to is an all-girls school that’s right by where my brother goes to college. It’s where his girlfriend goes. She works for the admissions office, too, so that’s kind of funny. There’s an event for accepted seniors in high school where we get to tour some of the dorms and go to an activities fair and stuff, so she and her roommate invited me to stay the night at their apartment that day too, which will be super fun!

The poetry contest I’m in the finals for is called The Who Freaking Care Writing Contest For Poetic Rejects, which is the best name ever. It cracks me up. I submitted my poem solely because the idea of an ostrich picture as a rejection letter was amazing to me. I didn’t get an ostrich but that’s okay! If you want to look it up, my poem is called Black Holes :)

I have a good deal of school work to do today but I may end up pushing it off to tomorrow. I work best right at the deadline. My mom and I got coffee this morning though so I might just try to power through a bunch of it while Im caffeinated.

I have a few songs I want to work on with my guitar, and then some stuff I have to learn for church. I’m on the worship team for our Thanksgiving service, which should be fun! There’s a pie potluck for the worship team. I sang at the Christmas service last year and it was a great time.

Oh, and have you listened to Midnights?? I listened right at midnight when they came out and it was great. I really like Anti-Hero right now, but my favorites switch around every time I listen. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

I was absolutely convinced I had answered this. Clearly I had not but anyways I'm answering it now, hi.

That's very kind of you.

Also super cool! You absolutely deserve to get in. And can I just say, I went to an all girls school for seven years. Whilst it has absolutely destroyed any ability to interact with people normally (see: the Canadian guy who potentially despises me but was also a walking red flag that I ignored for reasons I will not disclose) it is also one of the most unifying things ever.

Ahhh that sounds like so much fun!!

I did in fact read your poem. Several times. And I voted for it because it was my favourite and I was obsessed with it. I love the ostrich picture, my rejection messages have just been: unfortunately your application was unsuccessful and we cannot provide feedback </3

Whatever works for you! I absolutely cannot work close to the deadline, I'm awful and I shut down completely and I cannot read anything properly. My essays are due on the 11th and 13th and they're done. Everything else is not but it's absolutely fine. Coffee sounds great though. I should make some...

Ooooh that does sound like a lot of fun! Do potlucks really work? We sometimes get told by an aunt that she's bringing things for us, but I wouldn't trust some of the people in my family to do their part haha.

I have in fact listened to Midnights. Several times now. It came out at 5am in the UK, but I had to walk to the coach station to get home and it takes 40 minutes so I listened at like 3pm and then on the journey home. I think, after several months, my favourites cannot be narrowed down apart from them not being Lavender Haze or Snow on the Beach. I do however think Anti Hero, Would've, Could've, Should've and You're On Your Own, Kid are very much Tristan songs so I have a soft spot for them :)

#people talk to me #koala kate <3 #🐨anon

[aphrorite]

-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #9 !! 💗💐🎀

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘

⋆ ✧₊ a summary of july 2022! moving into august ☀️✨🌷 ⊹ɞ

hellwo diary ( ^ω^ ) !!! is been 🐝 such a long time since im write… 📝 but a lot hav happen, good n bad ): is figure i should tell u dwiary, cos i wanna tell u all my progress despite high n low. so here i go, diary! ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ ) 💕

tw vent // vent regression // sorta big talk abt relationships + tw trauma

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

so diary, how u doin love? 💗 is been long time since im wrote but im figure that im want to tackle my ocd n get back into writing diary log again. becos my ocd make me feel like doing this is a chore, even though i do really really like writing da logs (is just getting started and having da motivates dats difficult )): ) /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ

im havent wrote a diary logs sinc june, so m should talks about my summer vacation 🏖 n how is been so far, yes?! :3 yes.

right now im listening to dance of the moonlight jellies from stardew valley cos dat soundtrack reallllyyy help w sleepins. :D it makin me all smol n sleepy jus by listening to it hehe >_< my eyes half shut while writing this eeek

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

so les go back in time. da last time dat i wrote a diary log was june 14th, n m finish school'd at june 26th! i tink. only ting is, im had a few extra days becos >_< im really struggle 2 finish my art projects 🎨 . in dat time, i half-way finished painting my clay sculpture and finished my ferris wheel glass mosaic. the art projeckt im da proud of da most however, is my assemblage that i finished back in april or may ish. 🖌

---- the talk of my assemblage sculpture involves tw: toxicity, abuse, punching bag/blame-shift, break ups ----

my idea for my assemblage was that id make it out of book pages, tissue paper, newspaper, ribbons, and construction paper, along with my poems.

the assemblage is in the shape of a bouquet, and i made paper roses with the book pages from thrifted hardcover books. (tw: trauma) the two hardcover books i picked were second life by s.j watson, and the tale of the body thief by anne rice. the reason why i chose both of those books was I. because of the cool covers! and II. because of the titles. second life made sense to me when i thought more and more about who the bouquet was dedicated to, and the tale of the body thief has a more metaphorical sense of how i felt.

when talking with him, it was a long distance relationship. offline, id have a different, reserved life, a quiet individual, shy; but filled with knowledge. online, when i talked to him, id become bubbly, feisty, expressive, i wasnt shy. and in another sense, a second life; is a beginning, a new, and rebirth. have you ever wanted to restart your life and perhaps be a different person? i planned to move to where he lived and start a new there. to have a chance to re-meet myself.

the title 'the tale of the body thief' is how i sort of felt, in that relationship. eye-candy. a pretty figure. when i left, it was like a part of me left with him; one that i'd never redeem or get back, and partly, what i'm still trying to find. when people tear you down so much, its hard to look at certain parts of your body, appearance of personality and not have their perspective stained on it.

i was beautiful but i was tainted. and he in my eyes, would always stay as beautiful as possible. nothing could ever rupture his beauty or change how id think, because in my eyes, he was mine and he was the one for me. despite all the compromising i had to do, the pain i went through and the tears i shed, back then, i whole-heartedly believed that he would be my end game.

nevertheless, i was glad that my mind was changed from his actions. when he took out his anger on me for something that wasn't my fault, (such as him using a slur he couldn't reclaim and then, saying that the joke was that people take things 'out of context' ; as in me, taking what he said and 'switching it up',) and blamed it on me, and said that i was being overly-sensitive, i knew it was time to go. it's like when you use to love someone for their sensitivity, but then that same vulnerability and emotional-touch becomes something you fall out of love with, and thats what i figured with him. his rash and passive-aggressive reactions to me showed that he wasn't good intentioned, or at least, as much as he appeared to be, and i hated being a punching bag. i always spoke that being a punching bag was the one thing i hated the most, and he just took out his pain on me. would you take out pain on someone you loved? no, you wouldn't. why would you ever want to do that?

i was glad that i stood up for myself and tried to shed some light on his pain while still keeping my ground, to drop him and leave him in the dust. however, throughout july, i definitely talked to him a few times because i thought that he would be the only one comfortable about my age-regression. this definitely wasn't a good mix because i got ticked by 7 things he did and somethings he said about my stuffie (how frickin' dare u.), and it was a impulsive decision to try and stop talking to him once i realized that these 'amends' that he spoke of weren't in my favour. they weren't catered to me as i wished. so he's out of my life completely now, and definitely for the better.

quite simply, it wasn't as picture perfect in my mind as i wanted it to be. there were times in july where big me would walk outside late at night on the road, recklessly, and in the brink of tears, trying to call somebody --- him --- in hopes that he'd answer and listen to me vent. that ended quite quickly, but ill never forget screaming, laying down at the park's field, staring at the sky, looking at all of the pretty, twinkling stars and and crying, revealing to him traumas that i now, deeply regret telling, as i dont think he should've known those things. i think that someone else who's much more emotionally mature and supportive, would be someone to turn to. someone i trusted.

i named the assemblage 'everything i didn't say', because the poems revealed my perspective. how it felt in my eyes to be mistreated. when he was apologising profusely to me, we talked about his perspective a lot, and he revealed his one conflict ; which was him being jealous of me. this was.. absolutely crazy to me. though i understood it. he however, didn't understand my side. didn't see what it felt, really, in my words, to be at the wraith of his venom.

the assemblage is a bouquet because bouquets can be given for - almost any occasion. a sympathy gift, a romantic gesture, a platonic bit of sweetness, something you give to your mother or father or anyone, bouquets are the way to go. mine is a departure gift. my last wits and fights.

its a refreshing start to have him completely out of my life. <3

--------------------------------------------------------------------

here are some notable things that happened during + after june 14th! ✨

june 14th: i found a hello kitty greeting card at the bwookstore and bought m'self a custom starbucks drink !!

june 16th: i wore one of my faveeee outfits, my white corsety top n my black aerie leggings, and a funny ting happen in art class. basickly, da ceiling cavin' in cos of a plumbing leak but is was super funny n gross at da same time cos ewwieeee plumbing but funni have put down garbage bin on the tables n stuff. m also had a not so good lunch dat day but i gots photo of it n it look sorta funny. 3 granola bar, a fibre one and oreos cos i forgo pack.

june 18th: m got reeces pieces blizzard from dq!! omnumnum :3, i made a pancake moodboooarrd 2!

june 19th: i made maself pancake at 10pm n it was supa dupa delicious, m did my makeup for eyes n really felt suppa pwretty !

june 20th: m had yummy dinner of chickin nugget w mayo (m fave kind of sauce) n a big ol salad dat was deliciousss. m also made letters to all of my internship employees becos im was departing.

june 21st: last day o' school. m wore my black aerie legging, black crop tee n brough a lil baggie w da letters in dem. on june 21st m also bought maself this beauuutwiful pink dress dat made me feel soooo confident n prwetty in.

june 23rd: instructional support day for ma school, did schoolworks of m art stuff. talked to a classmate who im din think would talk 2 me >_< june 23rd m also went to supermarket n bought a bunnnch of pink stuff!! :D n yum yum yummy swiss roll mmm.

june 24th: m last day of doing instructionals!!! school o' out!!!

june 26th: wasnt feelin so good m went on walk )): saw pretty neighbourhood doe!!! ((:

june 29th: went to da mall allllll by meself n felt so pretty n so confident n so happy on my own. <3 m got compliment crazy by strangers but felt so in my own skin ^-^. m went on bus home 2!!!

july 2nd: m had yummy chicken nugget n a big mac for dinner whic is kindaaa rare so i was really happi :D m also fall alseepi on couch w my cat roscoe <3

july 8th: went to oceans grocery store! got lots o delicious snackies <3 like these fish chocolate wafer thingys mmm, basically a wafer in da shape of a fish w like aero ish chocolate inside, n it was only $1.5 ish!!

july 11th ?: talked to one friend briefly cos i had an all-nighter n they did too hehe

july 12th: completely glowed up, did leg workout, went for a morning walk, yoga, n then later in the day m took a lottta photos of m w my bear blacky :D lov him.

july 17th: went to east side marios w my sister n mom for my sisters grad!

july 19th: my online package came in!!! for all my pink stuff :O m got a pink themeed lanyard w a cute gold heart metal keychain thingy, a turtleneck white ruched hello kitty dress, press on nails, a white lace tank top, two new phone cases, some stuffs for my makeup, 2 makeup bags (one clear w gold zipper n the other pink!!!) a pink scrunchie n pink socks, necklaces n rings, and a pink cosmetic mirror to attach to my lanyard! i tink around dis time m' also met a new friend (Y) n he was really nice n comforting n he made me feel cared for! from july 19 ish to now, m had hungout w him a lil bit <3 but day later felt anxious on whether first new friend (Y) hated me T_T due to m social anxiety

july 22: went to chatime for some ywummy boba twee! m got my faveee drink. dis my go-to, is the matcha strawberry latte with grass jelly, 100% sugar, normal ice n a size regular <3 yum yum yum! wuv it. m also watched light year w ma one friend (Y) n he din mind dat i had blankie or dat i thought light year was originally lightning mcqueen hehe, he comfort me when i started crying cos stuff in the movie, n he headpat m' n we took da ''to infinity beyond'' tingy n do it now wheneve we say bye bye to each-other! <3

july 25th: went 2 grocery storeee for m smol snackrun for chippies n popcorn cos popcorn m' faveeee n saw my middle school teacher <_&lt; ahhhhhh eek

july 27th: felt really unappreciated in my home ))): was a really sad day w anxiety.

july 29th: got shawarma take out n it was wooohh DELICIOUS!!! om nom nom! but very same night m felt very sad ))):

july 30th - 31st: felt really sad again ): so went to childhood playground 4 primary school n sat on benches n sang for a lil bit

from august 1st to august 8th? 'm had my moon n it was very stressful and anxiety inducing ):

august 5th: m went to hangout w my friend, went kinda weird becos one friend wasnt 'really' dere, but da other friend was so indulged in conversation w/ me and it made me feel so included and happy! we went to this pho place, chatime (i din get boba dis time doe), value village and this antique place w/ a bunch of cool stuffs. m got this pink y2k heart baby tee from the kid section and it felt amazing to buy it! i also felt like a barbie wearing my whole pink outfit n i got a bunch of compliments!

august 6th: had a super pretty outfit 4 the symnpthony thing i going to, m was wearing this really pretty white corset-y top, black slack/trousers (like aritiza agency pant), my nude heels, n a black blazer!!! m loved the symphony n got tons of nightlife skyscraper/building photos on the way home n was really happy n had lots of fun, and also had maccas! 'm had junior chicken ^_^

august 7th: went on a snack run w my sister n bought sum bananas

'm tink that this diary log is getting reallllyy long omg, but 'm gonna write my aug 10, 11, and 12th log! my summer has been.. w a lot of up and down tbh S: n quite lonely, but now dat im got new friends, m began to talk n open up to old friends again in hopes to try and conquer my ocd (cos it makes it extra difficult w friendships )): rocd wise) if u spent ur time rweading all of dis, thank u so muchh. <3 please hav good rest of ur day or night or aftanoon! :D

╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈➤ sweetheart xx

#aphrorite.diary #sfw agere #sfw agere blog #agere #tw vent #🌸

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

a poem for small things

by Admin 1 & 2

The time has come, the first proper post for this segment we’ve settled on calling a poem for small things, a nod toward BWL and its Korean title. Like we said in our call for submission post, this is supposed to be something like a place full of positivity for vminnies (and perhaps the occasional namjinist) where you (and us) can share whatever we’d like in connection to vmin, both as vmin and as Jimin and Tae the individuals, and have something to raise our mood and also strengthen our vminnie confidence. We’ve gotten several wonderful submissions and quickly realized that for this first post the theme is mostly how I became a vminnie, even if three submissions talk more about vmin moments they enjoy instead.

I think it’s a really interesting theme, especially since everyone’s story is different, and everyone seems to find something else about vmin that captured their attention and hearts so sharing these memories and experiences is a great way to start off this segment. We’ve said it many times before, though I don’t think you can say it enough times, but this bond that Jimin and Tae share is truly special and so one of a kind, it’s wonderful to see how we all relate to and resonate with it in our own way and find something in it that makes us fall in love with their loves, regardless if we see it as platonic or romantic love. Love is love after all. 95z is love.

For the order of these submissions, we’ll simply go in the order in which we’ve received them. Most of them came from anons, which is more than okay. We’ve also opened the possibility of submitting posts for those who would like to submit wordier posts/asks, should we do another edition of this. It all depends on how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll come through with more submissions that could be gathered for future posts.

Anyway, enough talking from our side, let’s dive into these submissions below the cut, shall we? Like we said in the original post (and demonstrated in the preview post), we’ll add some of our commentary and observations along the way, too.

From anon: This is going to be long winded story but Vmin is like a Serendipity to me. I've heard of BTS mainly from my hubby when he complains that times sq is packed because of BTS (when they’re in town and doing their rounds of morning shows). I knew they were very popular but it was a great surprise that i discovered them after watching ILand during lockdown. Their songs were great and i started playing their classics like Fire, DNA Fake Love etc. Then they did an appearance in the show...

I love how you heard about BTS because of your husband and Time Square being packed, this is honestly the most original and unique version of how I’ve come across BTS I’ve read over the years. Amazing!

I was drawn to Taehyung's beauty during their appearance in Iland. And my first Vmin ? moment was when Tae commented about being handsome and attractive are 2 things and being attractive weighs more - along those lines... then JM made a comment that its unfair that he's both and Tae was like Im talking about you... I went like ok he thinks JM is attractive- theyre good friends.... then Jimin did the FakeLove choreo and the camera focused on Tae and he had this wide smile...The Iland Tae/Jimin clips made me do a double take but I dismissed it since it was just only a few seconds worth of screen time but still...

I-Land vmin was really something else in both episodes. 

Fun fact: I-Land was the first Korean survival show I’ve ever watched, mostly because it had something to do with BH and since it was streamed online with subs in real time. Unfortunately, my faves—Daniel and Taki—didn’t make it into ENHYPEN, though I’m happy that Taki will be in a future Japanese BH group.

But, going back to vmin, that moment with Jimin dancing FAKE LOVE and Tae looking at him with that boxy smile as though Jimin hung the stars in the sky? I melted, even if it was just one of those brief moments, yet still it’s so cute! And it was all over sns being shared by vminnies and non-vminnies alike. What a great time that was.

Then VMAs Dynamite perf happened- both Vmin looking good. I saw a lot of their promos especially the Jimmy Fallon interviews... and I noticed in hindsight how JF was so careful when referring to Jimin ... Since Tae was my first bias, I searched YT for Tae related content eventually saw in my YT feed Vmin moments. Theres a lot of Vmin content in YT or maybe the T*ek*ok ones didnt really register as extraordinary to me. But defo the Vmin moments were extraordinary to me,,,the BV4 sleeping together, kitchen role play & BV3 JM excited to see Tae and them holding hands and then Tae crying and then Tae's busking with Jimin cheering him on were all amazing to see. Up to this day this specific YT vid stood out to me first 

I actually went to check what video this is, and also looked at the comments where my favorite was this one: The staff member went straight to Jimin to tell him V was crying. That's all you need to know. They’re not wrong with that one, are they? That is pretty telling. BV3 vmin were a work of wonder, truly. Jimin watching Tae sing that Sam Smith song during the dinner in the sky looking all soft and endlessly fond?

Jimin encouraging Tae to busk and gently petting his hair was just such a pure moment and showed how much Jimin appreciates Tae and the talent he has, how in moments when Tae might brush aside wanting to do something, is a little hesitant and unsure, Jimin will stand up for him and give him strength/encouragement, which reminds me of Tae’s vlive in April 2020 and the fact that Jimin had told him that he wants to be his source of strength. Beautiful. And it shows that it wasn’t just pretty yet empty words, but something he truly meant. They both do.

Then i came across vid trans of Friends & cried first time hearing it especially when it got to the part "One day when the cheer dies down, stay hey.." It felt raw and honest to me. Then there's MOT:E concert and that part in Dynamite where they bumped their heads seemed bizaare to me - i was like were they fighting? because JM looked really fierce(or maybe emotional) then i saw the close up. i couldnt remember the exact moment I became a Vminie but it made quarantine easier...

This, I’ve noticed, seems to be a recurring theme among quarantine ARMY and vminnies, the fact that becoming ARMY and vminnies made it easier, and it fits with what we’ve been saying about BTS for years: they will find you when you’ll need them most. And in these trying and uncertain times, it’s certainly proven true once again.

Thank you of much for your submission and sharing your story with us, and I’m glad they could make quarantine a little easier for you.

From anon: I've been following BTS on and off since BST, but only really consider myself a true fan late 2019. I can't recall having a bias at first, but I was captivated by Jimin's everything when I binge-watched all their content. I must admit, my first OTP is T*e/k*ok, where I fell down the route of considering Jimin 'an interfering 3rd party' in their relationship, and it shamed me. Since then I've been cycling through Jimin ships, namely yo*n/m*n, j*n/m*n, m*ni/m*ni, and I even thought that j*/k*ok was real at some point. Strangely, Vmin never struck me as something extraordinary. I don't want to blame anyone, but Vmin caught my eye after I watched official BTS content without filter (presumed bias/judgement) all in their glory. I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant. That's what makes me love Vmin, and for the first time in my fandom life, I have no qualms about whether they are real or not. Their bond, whatever it is, is already precious and something to be cherished forever. Thank you for providing us vminies a special corner to speak up about our experience 💜

You’re very welcome! I hope you’ll like how this turned out as well. Thank you for sharing your story with us and personally I find it fascinating how, despite Jimin being the one who captivated you most at first, you still fell into the “he’s an interference for my ship” trap that’s quite popular with that particular ship. I’m glad though that that never ruined your love for Jimin. It’s also really interesting for me how you went through different Jimin ships yet it took you the longest time to notice vmin. I feel like, because vmin and vminnies are more “low key” than the other bigger and louder ships, as well as Tae and Jimin simply being quieter in their interactions (not always but you get the point) as compared to, for example, Jimin’s interactions with Hobi, Jungkook, or even Namjoon, it takes people a while to really notice them.

This is my favorite part of what you wrote, and I think it’s a great way to describe vmin in general and what makes them different from other ships in the grand scheme of things: I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant.

From vminot7: So i fell into BTS hole after watching blood sweat and tears mv casually on youtube. Jimin immediately stole my attention with his unique voice, graceful moves and handsome features even though i didn’t know their names at that time. I watched more MVs and jimin continued to hold my attention but i was also extremely drawn to taehyung's voice and facial expressions. So i started looking for more content such as RUN BTS and other compilations and realized my love for all 7 of them. I also noticed how jimin always had a soft spot for taehyung and was curious about their dynamics. I started looking at more of vmin content and i was really surprised to see how in the early days they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now. I think they have a unique bond and i have never come across anything quite similar. Now vmin are both my biases and my bias wrecker is hoseok.

I admire jimin for being a hardworking, passionate perfectionist but also a caring soul who is always ready to offer love and comfort to people in need. I love taehyung for how he looks at the world in his unique ways and how he has a childlike awe for things and how he is so passionate over the things he loves. The thing i love about vmin together is how they are so different yet work so hard on their relationship when it would be easier to just not try that hard.

Ah, another mention of the queen that is Blood, Sweat and Tears. The MV truly is such a masterpiece so I’m not surprised that it caught your attention, and especially Jimin since he was…something else in that MV, or like Tae said, his eyes were temptation (this boy, I swear). Since you mentioned how in the first years they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now, I think watching their dynamic and relationship change and evolve over time showcases the one thing I think a lot of people (as well as movies and TV shows) forget or gloss over, despite it being so incredibly important: in order to make a relationship of any kind work, especially in order for it to grow as deep and strong as the one between all members and especially vmin, you need to put in the emotional work to make that happen. You have to make an effort, have to learn to understand the other person and teach them to understand you as well, learn to appreciate and love their little quirks and how to accept others. And it’s so clear that that’s what vmin did, continue to do, and it more than paid off in the long run. I’m glad you highlighted that in general but also as something you love about them.

While the overall bond between the members is a class of its own, I think especially what vmin have achieved is a whole masterclass in relationships and fostering strong ones, in and of itself. There is a lot I think we can learn from them and I’m so happy that people recognize how special they are.

Thank you so much for your submission!

From anon: There’s this small moments in Dear Class of 2020 that i just adore! I’ve watched it at least 20 times this past month

It starts with “Spring Day”- tae and jimin laugh and look at each other and it’s just so sweet!

Also, maybe it’s my delusional mind but after tae’s and jin’s small and adorable moment- it seemed that jimin did the same with junkook right after maybe out of i duuno if jealousy but like “pay attention to me too” kinda way- dont know really and maybe it’s me being extra🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree partially, in that Jimin watched Tae’s and Seokjin’s adorable moment, obviously must’ve thought of it as cute just like we did, and thought he could do the same with JK. I don’t think it had anything to do with jealousy, especially if we work off of the idea that vmin are a thing, but also because it’s a performance and these things primarily serve the purpose of being cute and entertaining use, in other words, it’s fanservice (which isn’t the evil word some portray it as). Also, within that same performance, Tae and Jimin actually sang some of the lyrics toward each other, therefore they, too, had a cute moment they shared with big smiles and everything, just like you mentioned.

But we’ve gotten to see much more of Tae’s friendship with Seokjin in 2020, and especially the second half, so it was really sweet to see them interact during that song. Their friendship and dynamic is really a beautiful one, just like JKs bond with Seokjin, which I feel we’ve also gotten to see more of in recent months. Part of me (and that part can very well be wrong) feels that perhaps once the members caught on to Seokjin feeling the way he said he did/does, they decided to give him an extra dose of love and affection, off camera but also on where we can see it. That isn’t to say that they didn’t show him any of that before, but maybe they increased the intensity a little, a reminder that Seokjin truly is loved, that he deserves all of this, that it’s just his imposter syndrome (or at least what sounds like it) lying to him.

I’m still so touched and moved by the fact that he trusted us enough to share his feelings with us, to gift us Abyss and how it came to be, and that Bang PD was on his side and coaxed him into pouring his feelings into music, even if it would be “bad”, that the fear of it potentially being “bad” shouldn’t hold him back (and Namjoon helping in even if just a tiny bit with the lyrics). It was one of those times where I feel like we were all reminded that regardless of our opinions of BH and their doings, the members are surrounded by kind people who have their best interest in mind. After all what’s good for Bangtan is also good for the company, a win-win for everyone.

…wow, okay, I kind of went off on a tangent, I’m sorry…

Either way , then we have “Mikrokosmos” where we have a sweet moment at their part and towards the end where they switch mic and hear each other

I love this performance overall and especially “spring day”- jin’s and j-hope’s lovely voices and of course tae’s!! This song fits them so well and all the members of course

Well this is my rent , i love your blog and always wait for another post! Also i love the new idea and look forward to it!

Thank you so much for your submission and for bringing up their Dear Class 2020 performance. It was a truly magical one, and after reading this the first time, I did go and watch it again. To this day I’d still very much like to know how and when and why the mic switch between vmin happened, and I kind of hope that we might get a Bangtan B*mb or EPISODE about this eventually and it might shine some light on that question. Overall it was one of my favorite performances on 2020.

From Sky: While I enjoy cute, physical moments with VMIN, I really do value how emotionally attached they are to each other. For example (I don’t know if it fits as vmin moment but), I love how Jimin asked V to take the Promise cover photo, and how he ended up putting V’s name for credits on the cover. (Special Thanks to V, Best Photographer) This really shows a lot. Coz he can easily choose any Bighit photographer to take it. He could have chosen JK because we know how he takes good pics and vids too (and also apparently alot of people say that vmin had a falling out and that Jimin and JK were much more closer, lol). Or he could’ve asked Suga too bec he’s into cameras too. But he didn’t. He chose V, and chose to shout it out to the world how thankful he is for V’s help. RM co-wrote Promise, and maybe had offered more help in this project, but he didn’t put it in the cover. I’m not saying Jimin is ungrateful for not crediting RM in the cover. The difference is that he and RM had a vlive regarding the making of this song, a lot of people already know RM’s participation, he was officially credited as co-writer and Jimin really showed how thankful he is to RM. But no one knows of V’s participation (except for a snippet in that Run ep), so Jimin felt the need to tell it to everyone. I’m sure it’s not only the photos, I think he wanted to acknowledge how V helped him through the process, whether directly or indirectly. Also, remember this is Jimin’s first non-album solo single. By putting V’s name in it, he is sharing this very special song with his soulmate. How endearing it is! V also included Jimin in his first full English song. He used the two bears given by Jimin as Winter Bear’s cover photo and he included the photo Jimin took (sleeping V in the plane) in the MV. Like, seriously, they are trying to consciously imprint each other in their life’s milestones, openly or subtly. I’m crying. 😭

This was lovely, and yes, Jimin could’ve asked whoever to take those pictures, could’ve chosen any other ones, and yet he wanted Tae to be the one to take them, wanted those specific ones as covers. It’s very sweet and creates this subtle connection between Jimin, the song, and Tae. Sure, it isn’t the first time a picture Tae took is the cover for a SoundCloud song (the picture of JK on the 2U cover was also taken by Tae if I remember correctly), but it’s the fact that Promise is Jimin’s first non-BTS song, his first solo release, that makes it that much more special. Even more so when you think about how meaningful that song is to Jimin, and by having Tae as cover picture photographer, he’s in a way forever attached memory wise to that song as well, right?

The same also goes with Winter Bear and the two ceramic bears. Remember how excited Tae looked when I kinda spoiled that gift being a thing happening in an upcoming RUN episode during Jimin’s vlive during the summer 2019? Adorable. It’s also curious how though the title is singular—winter bear not winter bears—there’s two ceramic bears. One for Tae, one for Jimin? Maybe, or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Either way, it’s really cute, and it was a very thoughtful gift, even more when we think about just how much Jimin loves that song.

From anon: Love this idea it's super cute!! 1st thing that came to my mind is a rather simple moment, jimin bopping taehyung's nose and making a lil game out of it

Taehyung asking for more and that dazed smile 🥺 he had the same expression in that concert when jimin placed his face just above him, tae's smile afterward... it was so pure u could almost read "love" in his eyes lol

What a lovely note to end this post at, thank you for that. I don’t know what got into them during that photoshoot for Season’s Greetings 2020 but this was so disarmingly adorable. I remember when that moment appeared all over every sns and everyone just melted, myself included. Their smiles, the cute clothes, Tae’s head on Jimin’s chest, the softness and innocence of it, just all of it. It truly was so pure and like this sweet visualization of ‘love’.

And with that, we’ve reached the end. Did you like this? I had a great time reading your submissions and adding my little comments to them. If you’d like for us to continue this, same rules as last time, send in a submission marked with “VMC” and once we’ll have enough of them gathered, we’ll do this again, if you’re interested in more, that is. Send in whatever positive vmin you have, a thought, a moment, a memory, whatever you’d like.

Thank you once again to everyone who participated! :)

#vmin #jimin #taehyung #a poem for small things post series #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #so many sweet vmin things #you really came through with the cute submissions #dear class of 2020 #bts seasons greetings #BTS bon voyage 3

[petewentzisblack1312]

no see i wanted you to keep going its great!!!! haha. and yeah same about being on here w her and leaving then coming back lol. what was your old url i may have followed you??? and i feel like i know the poetry you mean and while i am white that is absolutely insane to hear because i also read it as being about his blackness????? did white bandom really manage to whitewash that??? like maybe its because (unlike a lot of ppl on here it seems like) i have real life black friends around me all the time and grew up with black folks but i find it strange even still if just from a critical thinking perspective djdjsjxjsj. like i am pea brain but STILL wtf lol. anyway... re: the photoshopping.... what is his actual skintone? im kind of confused by the photos you posted in regards to the editing bc i just really don’t understand saturation etc rip. ANYWAY feel free to ramble more i literally adore learning about it. like i dont need more whitewashed pete content i want who he really is. it makes my heart so full i love him so much 😢

im glad you enjoy hearing me ramble about this haha!!! i had a couple urls that i was known by. i was deadnarrival, soulpunkboxes and diykordie at various points in time, although the last one was the one i deactivated under. i went by just mellie at the time, although now i go by dils more often (though mellie is still my name and is short for my full first name, amelia)

wrt the poetry, its possible that people didnt so much as miss the blackness as much as they didnt feel qualified to bring it up at all?? and while its fair to not discuss it, it was really alienating for no one to even mention race at all. i wasnt friends with any black fob fans at the time, the ones i knew of had moved on bc they felt kind of unwelcome, which is pretty common in all subcultures, so i was just like reading people talk about how sad and emotional it was like he was some kicked puppy and then reading this poem full of tangible anger and resentment and frustration and a desire to fix the world and a desire to not be part of whats broken and it was like. damn. yall just see sadboi shit?? wild.

ANYWAY to address your questoon about skin tone, to tldr, saturation is how bright a colour is. 100% saturation is pure colour, while 0% saturation is pure grey, so lowering the saturation makes colours duller. exposure is the amount of light a photo, so low exposure makes a picture look too dark, and high exposure makes it look too bright, and can make everything look white, or at least much lighter. so lowering the saturation makes colours duller, raising the exposure makes the image paler, doing both... ya.

but here are some pics where petes not edited or isnt super pale!!! as a rule of thumb on the red carpet or next to people who are darker than him pete will probably look darker. black fob fans pass these around like currency lmao. these are mostly early pics bc theres definitely more later ones but these are what i have saved.

that last one is a super special rare pic of pete when he was in arma playing cards outside of a convenience store. his melanin is POPPIN.

something that compounds this is that a lot of filters on social media like insta and snapchat are live action whitewashing. like itll be like "beautify✨" and then you r 5 shades lighter and your nose is slimmed down.

#dils declares #anyway heres som Stuff

[hematomes]

morning ced!

I'll have washing machine heart stuck in my head now for the rest of the day</3 mitski's one of my top favs so picking a song is hard,,, probably first love/late spring (also hits too close to home, and was The song that really got me hooked)

im sorry about your uncle:( im glad you have moved past the grief though and can reminisce with peace in your heart. tbh i never know what to say in these cases. can i just give you a hug?🥺

my morning is not going too well, see i suspect that something happened in my stepmom's family (her father is really old and had to get hospitalized a couple months ago, he's back home now but...). usually when shit happens they, you know, tell me. instead now the past couple of days both her and my father have been irritable, and my stepmom has snapped at me both times we've interacted in the meantime (once yesterday and once this morning), for like super trivial reasons (like not saying goodmorning before asking her to put extra water in the kettle she was about to plug in). sigh anyways, sorry for ranting. it's just so frustrating bc i don't know what's going on, and my father knows im prone to overthinking and he's doing nothing to help (in fact he's making it worse).

in other news, i got my hair dyed by a friend the day before yesterday. bleach kinda went wrong but end result could've been worse. the process was fucking wild. let's just say we needed more time than we calculated, and i had to walk home with my other 2 friends with my head wrapped in plastic wrap and covered by a plastic bag. as my outfit was black pants, black big ass coat (with my blue Hair Dye Tshirt underneath), and a bucket hat to hide my head, i can only be grateful it was raining (and 12:30am) and no one was around.

ill be sending the poem in a bit<3 im excited to hear your thoughts hehe

~soup

zjdkz sorry about that, love <3 i listened to it and,,, woo mitski really has some amazing songs

AAH NO SORRY it wasn't meant to be like awkward/sad i really love april even more actually, it might sound weird but it makes me think of him? so yeah idk, i don't see that as something sad anymore. it's been almost ten years, so <333

erf yeah i see, it does seem stiff. have you tried bringing it up? it can be hard but usually it's rewarding, unless they really want to hide it and just dismiss it.... which i hope they don't do

oooh what color? 👁️ i always admire ppl who dye their hair at home (but if im not mistaken it's super expensive in a hair salon so, understandable actually), it seems so frightening. i have the perfect excuse not to dye mine lol, 4A coily hair are not to be messed with

zjdkzks i can almost picture it, y'all must have looked amazing 😭

also!!! i read the poem and damn,,, im not exactly sure how to give like constructive feedback because im mostly just a bit stricken? like. i don't even know how to put words on what it made me feel. it was cozy, yet a bit somber? and vague (/pos), open to interpretation - and im not used to this kind of freedom, so i don't know what to make of it. truly an experience!

#[☂️] soup anon / 💜

[pbandjesse]

Today was a good day. I have a heating pad on my feet which is helping my toes which have been so cold. I am in a good mood, but man I am tired.

I did enjoy my own company a lot last night. I would stay up until around 130 and fell asleep soon after that. But I woke up at 3 to a freshly showered James getting into bed. I gave them a big hug and fell right back to sleep.

I am very glad they made it home safely. They had shared their location with my phone so I would know they were okay on their late night drive home. They had a great time at the show though and that was great. Made me feel good to know they were having fun.

Both of us were very tired this morning. So we didn't get up until 8. I know, so late. But we had the market to go to! We got up, James got dressed quick and started taking things to the car. I took a little longer. I had to change twice because I was a little more cold then I expected. And then the layering shirt I chose was wrong and I had to change again. But it was fine. We had time.

I quickly printed off the poem for the print I made last week. And we were off. I was glad I got all of our stuff ready earlier this week because the only thing we ended up forgetting was our chair. But because I left the wagon in the car we were able to just use that. And honestly, was pretty comfortable and was a little easier to get out of when you needed to stand up.

We had to fuss with our set up of the table because we didn't do a dry run. But the 35 bears all looked great and I was very glad I brought some prestuffed ones.

The nice man who makes the birdhouse's lent me his markers so I could make a sign. It for real helped make people understand what we were doing. And we did sell some!!

It was honestly a great day. It was cold but that was fine. James went to get us breakfast. And I would run the supplies from my program yesterday into the museum. And I had some many nice interactions today. With the tables around us. And with customers.

We made a good amount of sales. There was a lot of foot traffic surprisingly. People really got a kick out of the making aspect of the build a bear style. Some little kids would help me stuff them, while the adults would just have me do it. I would tell them they have to make a wish before they put the heart in. And then I would sew them up. I had predone a few with a ladder stitch and while it made it a little harder to stuff, it did make sewing go so much faster. Thats such a good stitch to learn. Feels like magic when you pull that thread.

I also sold some prints and a pair of bear earrings. I think something I am going to try to do is actually make the tiny bears for the earrings. Maybe out of felt? We will see. But that will be my next project, along with my prints Im going to keep carving. I just have to keep the momentum going.

We finished up, made a few more sales. We packed up and said goodbye, until next time, to the other vendors. And we were off.

I was really glad James had gotten me a donut earlier that I hadn't eaten. We drove to the other side of the harbor to go to Micheals for more velum and envelopes. We would also go grab a snack at the herris teeter. And then home.

We were both really exhausted honestly. James had some lunch. I would poke around on the internet for a bit before I would make something.

James went for a bike ride. I was surprised, because they were so sore from their concert, but they love being out on their bike so I understand that. Chasing that joy.

I made frozen spring rolls. And played animal crossing. And once James was home I showed them some stuff I made and got off the game for the day.

I laid on the couch while James worked on their podcast. And I just scrolled on my phone until 6. When it was time for us to work on putting up some Christmas decorations.

I want to get some more tinsel or garlins. But I was happy to see the holiday furbies. Me and James both have silly holiday hats now. And Belk is off of house arrest. This is the one time a year when James "lets" Belk out of their house to be used as decor. So we (me and Belk) were pretty excited.

My head started to hrt though. Not even a regular headache. My teeth were just aching. My appointment is on Wednesday. I am not looking forward to it. But I hope they can help with the pain.

I took an asprin and we worked on legos for a little bit. But I wasn't having a great time because I was hurting. So we just did a part of it before I laid on the couch.

Tina got us another space heater. Its like our radiator one so it is slient. So much nicer. So the living room is not as frigid. Not ideal still, but its something.

James showered. Then I did. James put my heating pad int he bed for me so I can have warm toes. And now we are getting ready to go to sleep.

I hope you all have a great night tonight. Tomorrow should be a fairly calm day. We are going to get breakfast and work on our save the dates. I hope you all have a good day tomorrow. Take care of each other.

[icharchivist]

hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

#ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty #ichareply

[drangues]

I’ll try and deal as much as I’m able but I’m like a wrinkly dollar bill in front of a vending machine: Nigh-useless in the face of the current situation. And!!! Dazai is absolutely Whipped for Atsushi, it’s great. Atsushi has no idea the power he holds in his hands, but at least Dazai isn’t falling sideways out of trees, now??? Everyone else is just happy that the Maniac is distracted with something that isn’t Quite As Destructive as Actual Death. (Nyanon, 1/5)

Akutagawa, meanwhile, will forever deny crying when he hit his second day in a row of not dragging Dazai away from Danger, it’s a stressful job though so it’s Understandable. Chuuya is just glad that he can FINALLY flirt with Dazai’s underclassman without having to fist fight Dazai for the offense of Being There (yes he has to fight him Atsushi, no it isn’t because Dazai teases him for fumbling with his flirting. Absolutely not). (Nyanon, 2/5)

And I bet their hang outs where they nerd out about their favorite stories and poems are filled with,, A Lot of food, and also throwing halfhearted paper balls at each other’s heads for teasing about the other’s crush. They probably flip coins to decide where to go to eat- Chuuya likes Super Expensive Places, but Atsushi just wants his damn ochazuke. As for Dazai,, Dazai always has been and always will be a Hot Mess with stuff like this. (Nyanon, 3/5)

He’s perfectly fine with asking for non-serious dates, or to just hang out with friends- But of course, he backs out of asking the person that he maybe-sorta has a crush on out, and instead asks him for... A nude photography session. He probably goes home and screams into a pillow once the misunderstanding is cleared up (while Akutagawa goes home and cackles because FINALLY DAZAI KNOWS HIS PAIN (Chuuya doesn’t even go home, he just mocks Dazai for his fuck up ceaselessly)). (Nyanon, 4/5)

Anyways, our tiger kitty has super healing- It only makes sense for him to not be affected by paper cuts!!! Kunikida definitely be jealous, though. Everyone is jealous, really. Moving onto an AU Concept- Which was inspired by your art: So, Dazai and Atsushi as the joint white rabbit, and Kyouka is their adoptive sister-Alice figure upon arrival. I don’t have much for it yet but it’s fluffy, mainly because I just Really want fluff right now, you know? (Nyanon, 5/5)

well good for you cus i dont use vending machines nor been near one my entire life ! ! and it is definitely good that dazai doesnt climb up trees anymore, especially when he takes along atsushi to snap photos of him (thats where he Cant do dangerous stunts cus atsushi looks worried and sad and he does Not want that) plus chuuya would keep on screaming and crying in laughter @ dazai and dazai is That close to exposing chuuya of his crush towards akutagawa (tho he doesnt, he might “hate” chuuya but he would never stoop TH A T low)

chuuya and atsushi flipping a coin to where to eat is so funny to me, they would be talking and shoving each other even while waitng in line for food and chuuya would be the one treating atsushi like, all the time (”im rich atsushi let me help your poor ass out” “b-but chuuya-” “you can barely pay for ochazuke pls u cant treat me to anything”) he loves spoiling his cute underclassmen (OOOOOO WHAT IF CHUUYA AND DAZAI ARE BOTH SONS OF CEOS WHO ARE #GOODFRIENDS AND THEREFORE THEYRE ALSO CHILDHOOD FRIENDS?? HMMM???? THATS HOW THEY KNOW EACH OTHER+??? THEYVE BEEN FORCED TO PLAY AND GET ALONG EVEN THO IT NEVER WORKED)

AAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU CAME UP WITH AN AU INSPIRED BY MY ART U W UUWUWUUWU GOD I LOVE YOU WO W and yeS i defINITELY imagined kyouka as alice here, maybe the ones who fall to wonderland are called “alice” and are said to be sent to the queen immediately when found which is why dazai suggested selling her to the queen in which atsushi immediately went “dazai nO look at the alice shes so cute how can you ever think that??” but anyways, kyouka tagging along with dazatsu as they try to find a way for her to go back to the human world 

(wouldnt it be funny if kyouka IS captured and shes like. Super Afraid of whats gonna happen but instead of like. getting Executed or something she just suddenly finds herself having tea with the “queen” whos actually akutagawa and chatting with each other because akutagawa is a nerd about the human world and wants to know more and “alice”’s are humans with the rare gift to be able to travel between the worlds?? man im going on a spiral here)

#anon #ask #ask anon #anon ask #bsd #queue #nyanon #nyatsushi anon

[darktypeimagines]

hi there! im a bit new here but i really love your writing a whole lot!! could you maybe possibly do a drabble for piers who has a crush on a fellow musician who makes indie music and also really likes him back and they keep writing songs about eachother until one of them is finally like "oh thats about me" ?

So… uh, I wanted to write actual song verses… but I’m terrible at it, so I spared you the pain of that.  I hope you like it, though. 😊  This ended up being slow-burn-y, so sorry if that’s not what you meant.

Definition of a drabble (according to google): “Traditionally, a drabble is a piece of fiction that is exactly 100 words long.”  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! nope.  Put it under a read more because it’s much, much longer than my usual posts.

 ———————————————————————————

It wasn’t often Piers completely and totally fell for someone.

But there was just something captivating about you; the way you carried yourself, the type of music you crafted.   The verses clung to him and he caught himself humming the melodies as he went about his day.

He knew he had a problem when he checked his playlist and found he’s listened to one of your songs 50 times in one week.  And it was proven when, after catching a glimpse of you at an indie music festival, he felt that familiar electricity overcome him.  Head to toe, in his gut, stopping his breath short. But before he could react, you disappeared behind the crowd once more.

He had a problem.  He had fallen for someone he had never met.  Someone he knew only from sight and song.

Piers ignored the feelings. It was just a crush.  It would fade in time.

It did not.

And, what was worse was, without even realizing it, he wrote you into a few poems he jotted down.  It was a nighttime habit he had, all the way back from his teenage years.  When he was trying to figure out a song, he’d write a poem first, then adapt it.  

So, as he laid curled up in bed, Obstagoon cuddled up next to him, he scribbled out his thoughts.  The light was dim, as always; he’d put on a lamp, but that’d require waking up his Pokemon. Plus, there was just something about the soft flicker of a half-broken neon sign that felt… right?  Probably just nostalgia, growing up in Spikemuth, where everything seemed to be just barely holding on.

As he struggled to read his own scratchings in the unstable light, the realization overcame him.  When he started, he wrote vaguely.  The poem-turned-song wasn’t supposed to be about anyone specific.  But, somehow, someway, his stifled thoughts ended up on paper.  And in reading it over, it wasn’t just about you; it was about his feelings for you.

It made him extremely uncomfortable and he didn’t know what to do.

For now, he tucked the notebook away, and finally turned on the light.

Months went by.  The two of you kept passing each other by, but never exchanged a single word.  While Piers still had feelings for you, they weren’t as suffocating as before.  Fortunately for him.

But as he walked through Spikemuth on a chilly autumn day, he heard a familiar voice echo through the metal and concrete alleyways.  He could tell he was coming from a radio, probably from inside someone’s house, at full blast.  Piers stuck around to listen to the rest of the song in full, feeling increasingly drawn to it as he made out the words.  He already missed half of it, but got the gist of the theme: a missed connection, regret for what could have been.

For some reason… He couldn’t shake the feeling it was almost as though the song was describing… him?  Was he just imagining it?  But then, the music cut to reveal the ending sung as acapella.

And it was you.  Your voice. Between feeling that the song was about him, and then suddenly realizing it was your song, he suddenly felt unsteady on his feet.  He had the distinct feeling of wanting to run away and run toward the problem at the same time.

He went straight home, and after restlessly trying to figure out what to do, he turned to what he did best: writing music.  After several long nights, many hours of lovesick doubt, and one instance of nearly scrapping everything, he finally had something he felt he could release, loosely based on the poem from months before.  Normally, it would take far too long for him to work through the all the hoops in order to get it officially released.  But, luckily, there was a small concert planned in Spikemuth; he wasn’t originally going to perform, but he could easily change that… Plus, he knew you were already scheduled to perform there.

The night of the concert came.  It was rainy, but one of the few benefits of living in Spikemuth was protection from the elements.  The rain pattering on the metal above was a familiar sound, but it would soon be drowned out by music.

Despite it being a smaller concert, a few vendors and a food truck showed up.  The stalls held both official and unofficial merch, but no one really minded in this city. This wasn’t Wyndon, after all.  As the first fan trickled in, picking spots and browsing the pop-up shops, Piers scanned around for you. It seemed like you hadn’t shown up yet.

And, he soon got distracted by his own fans, and wasn’t able to look for you.  Before he knew it, the concert was about to begin.  He looked up to the stage and his breath hitched as he saw it was you.  All he could focus on was you, the spell only tightening its grip as your song began.  It was the same one he heard on the radio, but seeing a performance in person is always a different experience.

Time seemed to slow and it was though no one else was around.  While he felt the song was about him before, that feeling was magnified now.  And finally, at the last line, you made eye contact with him and smiled.  With a fluttering heart, he managed to return the smile.  That moment, which was likely just that, stretched on longer in his mind.  Time snapped back in place, and you exited the stage, where Piers lost sight of you.

His thoughts were cluttered for the rest of the concert. So, when he bought his mic up to the stage and prepared himself, he felt something he hadn’t felt since the very beginning of his music career; nerves.  They never really went away, of course, but this was the first time in a long time that he could remember feeling nervous about how people would react. How you would react.

It was a rocky start.  He started on the first verses and was a little out of tune.  But then he caught a glimpse of you again, all the way in the back, and the words came easily.  

He hadn’t meant to stare at you the entire time, but he just couldn’t help it.  The song was meant for you, after all.

Overall, the song was an obvious response to yours.  Anyone who was paying attention could tell.  Similar theming; a lost chance at love.  There were even lines that were basically spin offs of yours.  But there was one main difference.  His song ended on a line that expressed he still had hope they would meet someday. Another chance.

Either it was one of his best songs, or the crowd was super hyped. The cheering continued far after he exited the stage.  They were so excited, Piers decided to wait in the musicians’ lobby in an adjacent building rather than rejoining the crowd.  It was already an emotional day and he just needed a break.  He scrolled through his phone mindlessly, trying to get his mind off of things, but it didn’t help much.

The music quieted, as did the crowd.  The last act had finished and it seemed people were heading out.  Piers thought about heading home himself, but figured he’d wait just a bit longer.  After hearing the door creak, he looked up and stiffened.  As what was becoming the usual, your sudden appearance surprised him again.

The two of you stared at each other for a few moments, only the pinging of rain on metal between you.

“Hey… What’re you still here for?” He asked tentatively.

You sat down on the couch beside him.  He seemed to tense up.  He sat hunched over a bit, fiddling with a black ring on his index finger.  He would occasionally glance at you, but not for long.

“You like the concert?  I know it wasn’t much, but I hope you liked it.” He paused.  “I’m glad you were able to come.  Made my day.”

You told him the same, and began gushing about his song.  He smiled, holding eye contact with you.

“Yeah, I heard your song on the radio.  Took a bit of inspiration an’ made something of my own. Couldn’t help it.  What you wrote was just one of those songs that gets you in the heart, you know?”

You knew.

“So…” He sighs, “I s'ppose I may as well ask.  Maybe I’m just imagining things, but- you wanna get together?  Or at least get to know each other? Dunno if you realized it, but that new song was meant to be about you.”

You had an inkling.  But it overjoyed you to hear him say it.  He seemed to notice your reaction and grinned.  And then, you told him the truth; that YOUR song was also about him!

Piers sat straight up for a moment, then relaxed, still smiling.

“That settles that, then.  Guess I was right all along.” He fidgeted a bit with his choker. “So… was that a yes, right?”

Of course it was.

#piers #piers x reader #pokemon #pokemon swsh #pokemon imagines #pokemon sword and shield #x reader #ask #scenario #darktypeimagines

[shiro-0197]

God no I'm sorry 😭😭😭 the way Tumblr eats all my drafts, and now your replies. (Someday I'm gonna eat Tumblr grrrr) that must've been so frustrating tho, I'm sorry love.

someday we could go to a country with Highlands together. It'll be super cold and nice. And the views would be really really pretty too!! WE COULD EVEN BE AMONGST THE CLOUDS >//< aww yes I hope you'll be able to try them soon in the future!! I died and had to stay in bed for an hour, (because my spice tolerance is nonexistent <3) but yeah I'm better now! Name is: "대박 ghost pepper noodles" the Korean word 대박 literally translates to "awesome" but— 😭😭

oh I see!! I hope school goes well, it's good that you're excused for a part of the day :D and aww I understand. Replying can be lengthy sometimes, so please please only do it when you're free and comfortable >:(( we're in no rush, after all :D

I was studying earlier too. and I texted my principal about the exams ( because apparently none of my teachers know anything about it, and I was so frustrated with everyone being so clueless ) she just replied with a : "hi Ariana, will let you know on Friday" like excuse me, ma'am. GRRRRR >:( STOP BEING CLUELESS.

awww that's okay!! I'm sure those prep slides were really pretty too :D aww that's sweet of you. some of my online friends sometimes sit in on my Leo events (if it's open to everyone) and it's pretty fun when they do (once, one of them had to talk for like, an activity and my club mates were like "SHE HAS AN ACCENT??". It was hilarious hehe) zoom is great for that reason, and only that. they're just ready-made slides tbh, I use canva :D

Shiro, love, you won't disappoint anyone, I promise you that. I'm sure your mom is more proud than you know, and from the way you talk about her, I can tell that she truly adores you. tho I also understand your worries. If you want to rant or anything, you know I'm here. And I'll just continuously reassure you of how amazing you are :)

that's my boy 🥺🥺 grr, you're so feisty, please imagine me holding a "you go, Shiro" sign everytime you tell someone to fuck themselves :D Laurent is indeed amazing. He's my favourite character for that exact reason >//< there's another character, from a book I read, just like that. His name was uhh, Kieran. And he knew so many different languages, and was just in general; super smart. I remember being so in love with him when I first read it (The title of the book is "genius")

HAHA. ikr. They're all hot, and most importantly; smart. nevermind, when I meet you someday we can cry over them together 😭🤚 pffft no offense, but being evil is hot sometimes 😾 (I mean, Kieran was evil. So's Moriarty :] and I am: a simp for them all)

aww bae that's okay 🥺🥺 your feelings are valid, and it's not wrong to express them whenever you feel like it. Grrr if I ever see your dad, he might be missing a limb >:( sorry, that was violent, but I get especially mad if anyone upsets someone i love )

exactly?? It's been a year?? Where's that blink meme where someone blinks and it's suddenly 2021. Oooh that sounds really nice!! Adding it on my list of things to try in March >.< Honey is really delicious. especially all those desserts which have a lot of them.

glad I made you laugh >////< grr my sense of humour is just so weird tho, so I'm glad you aren't freaked out by it.

KAJDKSJSKS SIR WAIT. There was an explanation for that u but I guess it got cut off in my notes 😾😾 IT WAS MEANT TO BE A Ü (smiley) but I was using my computer and I couldn't add the two dots above, so I typed "imagine the eyes" (but apparently that part got cut off and now it just looks like a random alphabet SKJSKSK IM SORRY 😭😭😭

I understand, the lack of opportunities can really get on one's nerves. But oh yes, Japan and Norway are beautiful countries. Apart from Japan, I've been really into Korea and Switzerland. The Alps 😻

grrr y'all have tough exteriors. But it's so rewarding when you finally get them down, tho I think, you guys have tons of other layers to yourselves. I guess that's just the charm, I find it endearing, because it just means there's a lot more than meets the eye :)

MY FRIEND MAKES FUN OF ME FOR LIKING PINK. HE TEASES ME MERCILESSLY SKSJSKSK (so I published a poem line in the school magazine to get back at him for it, because I'm petty like that)

that's so funny >.< There are two girls, and a girl and a guy, who share the exact same names in my class, and it's so funny because they're opposites of each other xD

he really is precious. The best leader, I would literally die for him, he's wonderful. yeah the book actually started out different, with them just being best friends. Best plot twist 😭😭 AWW

NOOO I'm sure it's cute, in it own way? :P tho that meme tho. LDJCJSBSKS. Don't worry, hehe, the character may be .... Unpleasant to look at?? , but you're not the least bit at all :)

how was your day btw? My day sucked ass and was literally the worst day in the history of uh, days. Yeah. sad. tomorrow will be better.

God, you're so adorable wtf. Marry me rn. AKDJSKSJS I didn't find it lame at all, (tho were you flustered? Because that was cute as hell xD) I love you too 🥺🥺

—☃️

It's okay, it's not your fault. We could storm the Tumblr building together or something..:3

Oh I really hope we can!!! I love cold weather. You can wear sweaters and hoodies and all that💞 and you have an excuse to cancel everything and cuddle up with a blanket or someone else😝

Im so glad you're better now!! Spice sickness or whatever is the worst😔 WBHDJWKX that's hilarious I hope I come across those soon! Let's see who wins😼

Yeah, about that, they started making us do after-class activities, which now leaves less time for the stuff I have to do .... which sucks . But I'm managing, I think, so it's cool xD yeah, I've always been kind of cautious about the timing, it's nice to have a little freedom now, thank you so much <3

Wow😭😭 our teachers usually have the dates set two weeks before the exams, we always recieve a message. Though I've been there, where the teacher have no clue, it's so annoying😭😭

Ohh, that's so cool! I hope I will be able to visit one someday. Though I dont think itll be too soon, but I'm looking forward to when I can😝 also that's funny, whenever I speak people go "he doesnt have an accent???" Even though I so obviously do. They just have no idea 😭

Okay..... that's the best words of encouragement I've ever received, I'm so touched- thank you🥺💘

Bwahah, that's gonna make my day every time 😭 Yeah, hes my favorite too!! He seems like a simple himbo at first, but the more we see of him the better he gets. (That sounds cool!!! I'm gonna check it out when I can!)

Thank you🥺 also, dont worry, I wouldn't mind that. I'd love that, actually, wanna go rip off guys arms together?

MZJXKGJJAKXKAKX IT'S ALRIGHT HAHAH, ITS REALLY FUNNY SO DONT WORRY😭😭

JSNFNMWMDMS IM GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR MAKING FUN OF YOU how could he . I will eat his eyeballs. Also I 100% agree with the poem and I'm glad you posted it. I hope some people thought about it.

Wow😭😭 its honestly so funny, because they're all so different and yet their names fit them so well either way.

Also, wow I feel so bad it's been almost a week since I responded😐 I'm really sorry. I've been writing snips of this message any time I could and yet it still took me days xD I'm getting free, though, so I'll try to respond faster now. I missed talking to you so much😭 thank you for your patience🤍🤍🤍

How've you been? I'm pretty good, tired but feeling good because I can finally respond😩 I hope your day went well. Love you!♡

#Ari💕 #ive been meaning to send you short messages but the internet said no💔😐

[femme-is-my-gender]

Lesbian ask game 5, with a twist 1-50 👀

OK BABE YOU CAN'T FOOL ME but you're cute and ily so

(I know you sent this like 5 days ago but this was a lot to answer and I wanted to get them all right because HAPPY 6 MONTHS BABE IF WE CANT GO ON A TRIP THEN THIS WHOLE DAMN MONTH IS OUR 6MO CELEBRATION 💕)

1. Their hair is fucking gorgeous I love the texture and its teal (I did the dye and cut!!!)

2. Their eyes are beautiful mid tone brown i love seeing the way the sun reflects off them 💕

3. Their age? Either a wise elder stuck in a teenagers mind stuck in an adults body or did you mean like in dog years?

4. We met on an app 🤷‍♀️ love finds you when you're not looking

5. S is very ticklish I don't even have to touch just wiggle my fingers in their direction and they fall over giggling

6. Their favorite song??? Idk if they have a #1 fave but their fav band is Mickey Darling

7. Their fave movie is avengers we watched it the other night at a drive in:)

8. Their fave book... idk babes a dork Harry Potter probably :P

9. Their fave TV show is She-ra honorable mentions for Avatar and My Hero

10. Their celebrity crush is........... me 😎

11. Babe wants a cat but allergies make that a uh problem (still trying to convince s to get a naked cat we will see how successful I am!!!)

12. There are SO MANY songs that make me think of them heres a whole Playlist but #1 is smother me and I'll follow you into the dark

13. Does s play sports.. well. Do you count the bedroom?

14. My favorite things about their body.. their dimples! Their hands! Their smile and the way their eyes crinkle when they do, the sound of a big belly laugh, their soft tummy and thighs to lay on, their butt is pretty cute too idk

15. My favorite personality traits! Don't get me started! The way they can uphold their boundaries firmly but not unkindly. The way they will get rude if needed to get someone to listen, the way they listen so intently when I talk about the Deep Stuff and the way they listen to my suggestions on the bad days even when they don't want to do what I suggest. The way they look at a new leaf unfurling on one of our house plants and the way they will talk and sing to my bird, the way they care so deeply for their loved ones and would do anything for them, the way they hold me almost every night bc its easier for me to fall asleep since I work early even though their work day ends right before I have to sleep. The way they rub my head and my back when I can't sleep and the way they absent mindedly rub their thumb on my hand or say I love you for the millionth time or do the arm jerk robot arm dance when they're excited or nervous and so many more i gotta go lay down....

16. Their style is emo boy/tacky 80s dad and I love it!

17. Our first date we went to a little vegan restaurant/bar then to an emo night at a bar! The bar double booked though so we didn't get the emo night we anticipated but thats okay!

18. A tiny detail they don't know I notice... idk I say most things I'm thinking outloud so if I notice something i say it lol no secrets here

19. Their talents! They are good at viddy James and they are good at cooking especially seasoning and just throwing random things into a meal, they are good at planning down to details, also the talents don't stop in the bedroom I'm just sayin

20. A tiny poem about S

Ways I say I love you that aren't outloud

Making sure you drink water

Scooting closer

Making you laugh

Asking how's your day been

Tracing my fingers on your skin

Giving us a clean place to spend our time

Encouraging you to try something new

Opening the blinds

Being your cheerleader

Baby you're my sunshine

You shine so bright and even on the cloudy days you're what warms my soul.

I love you.

Have you had any water today?

21. Do they have a tumblr? Yeah! Baby come off anon lol

22. What makes them laugh? Well any goofy noise or silly song i make up usually will get them, they're pretty ticklish so that works too also memes and cat videos

23. S is a Taurus sun with dominant Aries chart and im a sag sun with dominant Capricorn chart depends which app you ask but I say we are pretty damn compatible

24. Babe has always wanted to travel in general. I know Colorado was a plan for a while, Germany has come up before. I think as long as we are together and near a beach we both would be happy to go anywhere

25. Things that are interesting to baby are heros/magic people, babies, animals, romcoms and anything to do with live music

26. I realized I loved them like on our 2nd date! I was so stressed bc I had just gotten out of a toxic relationship and while I was totally over the romantic connection to that person I was still feeling alot of hurt and trying to recover and I met S while I was slutting it up on tinder and I was Not Ready to be in love again like I WAS but I was so scared of fucking things up between us by committing "too soon" but S was so patient and never pressured me but I could tell they had feelings and so did I but like I was better at hiding them. I love them so much I'm so glad we met.

27. Their favorite food group is comfort food/toddler menu: grilled cheese, nuggs, pizza, also their top fave is fideo

28. Babe hates alot of foods I don't know them all yet but bell peppers, onions, also new foods are scary but they will try something if I make it/want to eat somewhere they've never been which just makes me 🥰

29. Hogwarts house is slytherin!

30. Babes element? Well their chart is fire/earth heavy. I say earth is their element!

31. Something that makes baby angry is people being rude for seemingly no reason also people who don't respect boundaries

32. S is taller than me by like 5 inches i think

34. Idk if they want their name on here so

35. Their aesthetic is like kitchy/goth/boho vibes. Dark vibrant colors, lots of plants, lots of art, skulls, comfortable space with blankets and pillows that's pretty and interesting to look at

36. Well the first thing I bought them was a drink lol but the first proper gift was a stuffed sloth they had wanted for a long time bonus facts I had to snoop on their insta to find a picture of the sloth and zoom in/brighten the picture to read the tag and did some sleuthing online but I found it! His name is theo

37. Baby is def a night owl

38. I brag the most about babe's just general goodness. I tell anyone who will listen how good they make me feel and how they listen and give good advice even when I don't want to follow it, and their top priority is keeping me safe and secure and also they're really fucking hot but I can't say that normally.

39. S has some rings and a necklace they like to wear if they're looking Certified Fresh

40. I'm a vegetarian, babes not

41. Oh fuck idk what their fave school subject is I would have to guess lit/reading??

42. Their clique is skaters/emo/scene lol

43. We have been together 6 months almost exactly!! 😍

44. Describe their laugh. Oh my God, well there's the cute nervous/goofy laugh they do most the time, there's this snort/chortle they do when I'm being extra goofy that I love, and sometimes I get them to do the whole throw head back full belly deep laugh and my heart goes 🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!!!!!!!!

45. Nah they don't wear makeup

46. Favorite art medium? Like to do? Painting I think.

47. Babe plucks around on bass and ukulele sometimes and they're a PRO at belly bongos

48. S identifies with cats the most

49. Babe likes the outdoors but it's not their comfort zone so there's resistance when I suggest it but if I insist they end up having a good time. Idk if s would like camping though.

50. This picture is my wallpaper I love them so much and bought this shirt for them!!! (Fun fact I left the store and went home and later decided to go back and get the shirt bc I LOVE them and their tacky 80s dad vibes)

#you think youre slick! #well jokes on you!!! compliment shower!!!!! #i fucking love you so damn much #asks #rb bait #ask games #wlw #personal #donut rebagle