#im like the only thing im on is my iud.... so if you think its hormonal then its FROM THE BC LIKE I JUST SAID

[69shrimp]

birth control is so funny bc youll be like hey i get this unbearable side effect daily and the doctor is like "thats not happening. not from birth control!" because they dont want you to go off it

#i had a doctor see it said trans on my medical record and try and tell me #it qas the testosterone that made me suddenly gain weight.... beforee i even started taking t #im like the only thing im on is my iud.... so if you think its hormonal then its FROM THE BC LIKE I JUST SAID #i never even needed birth control bc im a top so thank god i could just stop it #but do you know how fucking hard it is to stop getting prescribed birth control. #sometimes i will see a random dr and leave with a birth control perscription bc they force it on me despite me literally being like #i fuck dudes in the ass with a plastic dick please tell be how its biologiclly possible for me to get pregnant from that #i dont say that i just say i havw never had sex in a way that could result in pregnancy #but it still kind of humiliating to have to go into detail about my sex life with some ranndom old person #and then still have them be like ok.... i dont understand what any of that meant but CLEARLY you are getting cummed in! take these pills #🤼 #drs not blaming every negative side effect on their trans patients hrt challenge (IMPOSSIBLE!?!)

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ it's so easy to love you, flaws and all (chapter 10)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

wc- 5k

chapter warnings- swearing, anxiety mentions, possible pregnancy mentions, minor angst, theres no smut but references to it (flashbacks), drinking,

a/n- Hi guys! im back early with another chapter to make up for skipping a few weeks! i wanted to let you guys know that any time there is a long dialogue written in italic- it is a flashback !!

Enjoy guys, Love ya!!

-nini

-

You woke up at 8am to the sound of pans banging in the kitchen, immediately you smiled, knowing your mom had gotten up early to start baking.

A look over to your left would remind you taehyung fell asleep in your bedroom last night....you couldn't help but feel bad, he was so crammed up against the wall, and he definitely would be complaining of back pain later on.

You shifted slightly, allowing room to pull the covers back and plant your feet on the ground. You slept, but not for long.

You were still feeling a bit off after having an episode last night, but the startling realization that came soon after only further prevented you from getting the 8 hours of sleep you so desperately needed.

Your feet clashed against the cold tiles of your bathroom as you slowly shut the door and turned the light on. Your phone was still sitting on the counter near the sink, exactly where Taehyung had left in last night.

You brushed your teeth and contemplated whether you should quickly text them back to clear things up. You promised Taehyung no phone, but this situation was becoming much more serious.

Your eyes gazed to your reflection, sighing.

theres no way....right?

you've been late before, it wasn't some odd occurrence to your body. you grew up playing soccer, dancing and doing track, your teenage athletic self always had weird period dates

But then again, that was a while ago.

You felt guilty for many reasons, 1 being the fact that if you are what you think you are, how could you have been so careless with what you did?

You always used some form of contraception, you even planned to get an IUD implanted when you see your doctor in a few weeks, just so you didn't have any scares.

you also felt guilty for if you were pregnant...

You knew you couldn't be a mom, hell, you could barley take care of Yeontan or yourself.

You also knew Taehyung on the other hand, would absolutely love this, which breaks your heart.

"I don't know, I think it would be fun" taehyung said, reaching into the bowl to grab more popcorn

"It doesn't sound or look fun, taehyung, babies are menaces" You scoffed, looking at him

"oh well I dont think so....I know when I get older someday I think I'll have some...only one or two, depends on what my future spouse wants" he shrugged

"you do realize babies need attention and care, its not like a dog where you put the food in a bowl and leave it to fend for themselves..?" you joked, watching your friend contemplate parenthood at the ripe age of 20.

"Its fun to think about" he smiled softly, looking over at tannie who sat with his tail wagging. He sure was easy to care for, what more work is a human baby?

oh was he naive.

You washed your face and brushed your hair, trying to get out a knot from sleeping with a ponytail in, when taehyung awoke and began to knock on the door.

"baby..." he whispered, seeing the light on, "you in there?"

You smiled and walked over, unlocking the door and pulling him in happily.

"happy birthday!" he whisper yelled, immediately attacking you with kisses and pulling your smaller frame into a hug, "I love you!"

You giggled and kissed him back, hands wrapping over his shoulders, "thank you....I love you too, even if you slept in my bed last night" you smirked

"hey, you told me to!" he added, pulling away

"shh!" you put a hand over his mouth, his deep voice echoing through the room, "I was in a state of weakness, and I really hope my mom didn't see you in here"

He shrugged and moved to hug your from behind, both of you facing the mirror and looking at your reflection, it was sweet.

"so was I the first person to say it?"

you raised an eyebrow and and tilted your head as you applied moisturizer

"happy birthday, did I beat your mom to it?" he giggled, making you smile and nod, "yes, tae you did, you won"

"oh really? what do i win" he smirked and pushed you against him, his face finding the crook of your neck too easily.

"ah-" you tensed and pulled back, knowing if he continued you would have gave in right then in there. "nothing until we get back to Busan"

He frowned, trying to get you to change your mind, "baby."

"taehyung! we are not fucking in my mothers house, let alone my childhood bedroom!" you whispered loudly, making him explode in laughter.

"hey, I was just gonna ask for a massage, I didnt say anything about sex, but now that you mention-"

"no"

"damnit"

You smiled at his antics as he returned his head to your shoulder, humming softly, "you look better, you feeling good, too?"

You nodded, "yeah, I guess...still a bit iffy but mentally im better"

"good" he kissed your cheek and looked at your phone, taking it silently and sliding it into his pocket, making you frown.

-

As afraid to admit as you were, things were slightly coming together now....in a light you wish was dimmed.

When you came downstairs your mother surprised you with a huge birthday breakfast, something you expected hence the fact she does it every year- but what you had not expected was you trying to fight the urge to vomit all over the plate at the scent of the scrambled eggs.

You swore up and down to both your mother and tae that you were okay, just still feeling the effects from last nights situation, but the moment you were alone in your room for the first time since youve been here, you began to break.

"What if's" filling your head as you cried silently against the shut door, deep deep down you believed you would possibly laugh about this later on, like "oh remember how I was so dramatic and thought I was pregnant? what a funny time!"

"Y/N?" your mother called, knocking on the door, "we are leaving for lunch in 15, almost ready?"

you sighed, feeling bad for your bad mood against your mom who was just happy to have you in her presence. "yes, almost..."

She had thrown together a small reservation for the 3 of you at a local wine and dine restaurant, you were feeling a bit more hungry now and were grateful for that.

Putting on a black tank top and jeans, you curled your hair and put some makeup on, all while that silly little voice in your head kept nagging at you that something bad was happening.

You tried to calm yourself, even going as far as saying that even if you had gotten pregnant, you would figure out a way to deal when you got back to Busan...you just wanted to enjoy your vacation.

All of you had made it out the house on time, taehyung offering to drive to the place while you and your mother sat in the back seat. You gazed at every passing store, seeking out any type of pharmacy available. You wished you could use your phone map, but you know....

"you will love this place, My friend took me here after one of my doctor appointments last week, the food is to die for!" your mother patted your back on the way into the small yet lavish building, the spring flowers making your nose itch.

"oh thats nice, was it stacey who took you? or Linna?" you responded

She giggled softly as you waited in line to check in for your reservation, "no, actually he is a new worker, his name is Ji-Tae"

Your eyes widened, turning to taehyung behind you, who was making a smug face, mouthing the word "he?"

You pouted, "I see..."

you were skeptical. You always want your mom to be happy, and for sure you understand how lonely she is living alone with such a big house filled with things your dad had built for her before fleeing your family to be in a different one.

-

The food was good, and you ate a lot of it.

Your mother insisted to buy you a drink to go with your pasta, making you hesitant, so the glass sat full in front of you.

"is it not good?" she would ask, making you race to come up with some excuse that wasnt related to the possible fact you could be pregnant.

"Oh I took a sip" you lied, "its good but I dont think I should be drinking right now"

She beamed up, seeming happy "oh? how come?" she smiled knowingly

Taehyung took a sip of his wine and raised his eyebrows, confused.

You panicked quickly, "because I am still not one hundred precent, health wise, so you know-"

"I'll drink it!" he smiled and took a sip, face scrunching at the mixture of his alcohol.

"dont mix, its not good to-" your mom began

"and we dont want you to get drunk" you gently rubbed his back, giving him a knowing glare, he nodded.

You nervously continued to pick at your lunch scraps

"hey we should get coffee or something after this, theres a store plaza down the street" your mom insisted, offering to drive you both

"that sounds fun" he looked at you, smiling

"yes, im down"

It fell silent, not in a weird way, it was peaceful...the wind coming in from the window near you had your hair flowing like you were in a covergirl commercial, and the sun only made your skin look shiny and tan.

Taehyung couldn't keep his eyes off you

Even sitting here eating, doing nothing particularly interesting, you were the only thing that had his attention, you've always been so effortlessly beautiful in his eyes.

"you are glowing, y/n" your mom smiled, taking her eyes off her phone to look at you, "dont you think, taehyung?"

"I agree" he hummed, making you blush.

Your mother began to ramble about something to do with her job while he got lost in thought, something hes done a lot the past 24 hours.

He couldn't help his mind racing back to the first time he felt this feeling, this feeling of admiration and love when he realized he saw you differently...

"You cant, your- you aree a cheater!!" you slurred, tripping over yourself as you walked to the living room again

He giggled, putting his wine down and pulling you to sit next to him, "just because I know how to play the game, doesnt mean I cheated"

It was almost 3am, he had finished working in his office around 11pm and promised to spend time with you as you both had fallen into a habit doing.

you would cook, prepare wine and entertainment, and he would get to destress and spend time away from his laptop.

Obviously, one look at the both of you right now, you can tell who handles their alcohol better...

"Fool" you scoffed and sat down with a thump, leaning against him in the dark room.

"be nice" he teased, his hand poking into your side.

He had to admit, spending so much time with you was nice, he realized you had matured a lot emotionally since hes met you, and you both had grown into semi-adults with real lives and things to talk about, it was an odd but fascinating thing for him.

He also had to admit, that for the first time in his life, seeing you against him with your hair sprawled out and your shirt scrunched up, revealing a bit of your soft stomach, made his heart somersault.

You also had grown into him in a way you never saw coming, he was so easy to just be next to, so easy to talk to, so easy to know and love, and that is why it led to what it did....

He gently cupped your face, titling you up so your eyes met his

"so pretty" he blushed and whispered, making you giggle in even your drunk state

"I know you are but what am I?" you raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh as he pushed your hair back, brushing it with his long fingers softly.

"Y/n.....?" he spoke after a moment, the room filled with tension- and no longer from the card game you had just fought over.

"yeah?" your face froze, eyes scanning over him,

he gently took your hand and placed it onto his chest

"your heart is beating reallyyy fast" you smiled

"yea, i know"

You watched his eyes draw to your lips before going back up, making you smirk.

"you wanna kiss me?" you teased, watching him blush even more, he was practically a tomato right now.

"I- uh,"

"you can if you want" your hand slid up over his shoulder, relaxing at his nape as you sat closer, nudging his nose with yours.

He swallowed harshly, feeling sick a bit, and was unable to identify if it was the rush of emotions or the drinks.

"dont overthink...its just a kiss" you whispered

and with that he pressed his lips to yours, softly swiping his tongue into your mouth.

It was just a kiss.

yeah, it was a kiss the next day too, after he finished work, you sat waiting for him, sober this time.

You ate then made out for a few hours before falling asleep- he was content, knowing you not only liked it too, but continued to want him.

thats how it was for a few days, things were normal until 11pm, then anyone onlooking would consider you both in love...and he loved that

He was a sensitive person, still is, when he feels something he feels it deeply and quick, He was only growing more in love with you by the day, and was convinced you felt the same.

that was, until it was about a week and a half into this escapade

"I want you" you panted, his lips sucking just under your clavicle as your hands gripped his hair.

You both were sprawled out on the couch, completely sober as you passionately made out, the puzzle that had been started was no longer interesting to either of you.

He sat back a bit, looking at you, "what?"

suddenly you felt embarrassed, "we dont have to do anything" you covered

He sat looking at you, it only made you feel self conscious, so you sat up and wrapped your arms over your bra, hiding your chest.

He wasnt mad, or shocked, he just couldnt believe you were asking to...to take things to this level, to be intimate with him.

You both have only been doing this for a little while, but he felt like its been forever-perhaps its due to the fact you both grew up together, he knows you, you know him, it felt safe...and right.

He didnt want to rush anything, but his heart was beating so damn hard right now, "y-yeah? you want to?"

You blushed, "yeah..." you watched his face light up, a small shy smile on his lips "its just sex..ya know? it doesn't hurt anyone"

He nodded, trying to figure out what to say or do now

"so is it okay?"

"of course, y/n, yeah..." he smiled again, feeling so glad in knowing you trusted him.

You laid back again, pulling him down and kissing him, "no strings?" you asked

oh.

Of course you dont want this to be a serious thing, it wasnt who you were, he should have known that....but yet he was still hurt.

"yeah....n-no strings"

and thats how that came to be.

He snapped out of his head and took a sip of his drink, smiling at you, your eyes met his and you blushed a bit, mouthing "what?"

He shook his head, "nothing"

Things might be different now between you both, but one thing that hasnt left or changed is the admiration he saves for just you.

-

"this is so cute, huh?" your mom turns to you, showing a mannequin with a summer dress on it

"aww it is" you walked over and felt it

"i'll buy it" she smiles, "birthday gift"

"ah! you dont have to eomma-"

"i want to, shush" she giggled and grabbed a medium off the rack, putting it into her shopping basket, you kissed her cheek, thanking her and linking arms while you walked.

"wheres taehyung?" she asked

just as she finished speaking:

"guys look" he ran up to both of you, he had disappeared about 14 minuets ago to go explore the market.

"what is that?" you smiled, looking at the container in his hand.

"there is a little store across the way, there was pets and stuff.....I bought a fishy" he grinned like a child, presenting the item in front of him.

"Taehyung how are we gonna bring a fish home?" you laughed at his cuteness, looking into the small water container to see a tiny fish swimming around happily.

"oh...I didnt think of that" he frowns, looking down, "I also bought a tank for him too"

"that you did" You nodded, looking at all of his bags.

"you guys are fish parents now" your mom laughed and patted his shoulder

You swallowed and nodded, yeahh fish parents

"we can discuss names at a later time, lets go show the lil dude the market" he spoke proudly, holding it up and talking to it as he passed cool stores, as if it could understand. It was kind of adorable.

You smiled happily as you all walked around a bit more, stopping at a cafe to get coffee and tea.

"iced with oatmilk please" you call out to your mom as she nods, getting into line while you and taehyung sit at a table outside.

"hes so cute" he laid his head in his palm, admiring the fish.

"we should name him spongebob"

Taehyung laughed, "but spongebob isnt a fish..."

"but hes yellow!"

"hmm...how about 해 (hae- sun in korean)

You smile and nod..."thats cute, actually"

"Then Hae it is"

You giggled and looked around, your eyes fell on a store a few blocks from where you were sitting- a pharmacy.

It was like a reminder of the possible issue at hand, everywhere you turned, the universe wouldnt let you rest.

The fish baby, the pharmacy, the pregnant woman who complimented you in the restaurant, It was haunting.

"hey, uhm, im gonna go run down the street really quick, i should be back before my mom comes, line is long"

He looked up at you "where you going?"

"just the pharmacy"

"can I come?"

You widened your eyes "no!...uhm i need....tampons." you nodded

"alright, do you have cash?"

You looked in your bag and had about $11

How much was a pregnancy test?

"here, just in case.." he smiled and gave you $10

"thank you honey" you kiss his head and take the money, assuring you will return asap.

You felt bad lying and taking his cash, but you needed to find out what was going on already, and so when you walked into the store with your head down, you made a straight line right to the feminine care isle.

You decided on buying tampons anyway, just so he wouldnt be suspicious.

"okay ...okay" you took a breath and walked over to the pregnancy area, which was beyond weird. You had passed by similar isles at other stores, looking out of pure curiosity, never believing you would be in this position of the buyer.

You scoffed to yourself, looking at all the tests, "which one do I buy? whats the difference?" you whispered to yourself, looking over each box, remembering you had to be quick. You decided to go with HCG test strips since they were the cheapest, you put them in your basket and ran to go pay before tae or your mom decided to come check on you.

The lady checking out gave you a knowing look, "how old are you?" she asked, eyeing the tampons and pregnancy tests.

You felt insulted, not because she assumed you were young-which you were- but because she was just asking and felt it was okay to do so.

"old enough, lets hurry this up"

You paid and grabbed the bag, making a sprint back to the coffee shop where your mom was just sitting down with taehyung- you made it.

"heres your drink" she smiled, "thanks mom"

you sat down next to taehyung, your heart was in your throat.

"I told her you ran to get concealer" he whispered in your ear, an attempt to save you some embarrassment

"oh, thanks" you grinned, brushing your foot against his.

-

A few hours later, the sun had started to set as you all returned home- your mother went to her home office to finish a quick work call as you and taehyung hung in the kitchen.

"im glad you can enjoy it now" he smiled, scooping another bite last nights cake onto a fork and feeding it to you

"yeah me too" you hummed, eating it before he kissed you quickly

"my moms in the other room" You scolded playfully, licking the frosting off the fork.

"so? we arent doing anything" he frowned, hugging you, "we cant do anything anyways-you got your period" he giggled

Oh yeah

"oh right" you laughed, taking another bite

His hands rested on your lower stomach, massaging gently. It was an act of cuteness but when you knew more than he did, it made you nervous.

"are you hurting?" he asked, kissing your shoulder

"no..." you blushed

maybe.....it wouldnt be the worst thing to parent with taehyung. He is so affectionate and caring, you know he would be the best partner and dad.....

You shook your head, trying to get rid of your current thoughts as you put the fork down.

You needed to end this now

"im...gonna shower ok?" you whispered, kissing his jaw

"want me to come?" he asked genuinely

"no no its okay, im gonna use my apple soap that you says burns your nose anyways" you giggle, walking away

"it does!!"

"mmhm"

-

You locked the bathroom door, placing the bag on the sink as you rummaged through.

"how the fuck does this work?" you whisper, looking over the box of the tests, "hm" you frowned and pulled one out, unwrapping it discreetly and going to use the toilet.

After you peed on the stick, your hand grew sweaty- it was becoming more real as the minuets when on.

While you waited, you took an actual shower to pass the time, fighting the urge to cry based on whatever result was on the stick just outside the shower.

You washed your hair and took your time before you wrapped up in a towel, shutting the water off.

it would be negative, right? you couldnt be pregnant, these types of things dont happen to you, these things happen to other but not you, you are probably worried about nothing...right?

Your mind raced as you sat near the sink, water still dripping from the towel.

"lets go y/n, whatever it is.....we are ok" you consoled yourself, rubbing your arm before moving to grab the test, your hands shaking furiously.

Suddenly everything youve ever done was questioned.

every choice youve ever made was doubted

Your confidence fell down the drain, and perhaps the years spent working and educating yourself are pointless.....maybe it wont matter after all....because theres two lines on the test.

You are pregnant.

You broke down sobbing, leaning against the wall as you slid to your knees, there wasnt anything to say, there wasnt anything to do. You were gonna have a baby and there was nothing you could do about it, nothing you say would erase the problem.

Your mother and taehyung sat downstairs, completely unaware of the anxiety attack you were dealing with just one floor above them.

"no no...no..." your hand fell to your stomach, gently caressing it.

You werent mad at the baby, you were mad at yourself. You suddenly felt responsible for the life growing inside you, but felt guilty over knowing you would never succeed at being a mom.

"im sorry.....im sorry im so sorry" you rubbed your stomach once more, whispering and apologizing in advance for the failure you would bring to this childs life. you havent even finished school, you graduate next year and now you are gonna have to drop out because paying for a newborn and tuition wont work, you will have to sell your car and old clothes

you will have to move somewhere cheaper, or grow small and confess to your mother that you cant get your shit together, and need to have a baby in her house for a few years until you are financially stable.

In your own mind, you were still a kid. You were a baby in the eyes of the world, and now everyone will shame you for what youve done, knowing you arent ready, but still expect you to carry on and raise another human being.

and taehyung.....hes gonna be happy....hes gonna love this, and you cant deal with it.

-

About an hour later, you had forced yourself to calm down as you made your way to his room, opening the door to see him laying on his bed.

"hi angel" he smiled, urging you to come over to him.

"hi" you spoke quietly, walking over to the bed and climbing in, hiding your face into his neck as you laid on him.

"everything alright?" he asked, rubbing your back.

tell him, tell him now before you back out, you wont ever do it if you dont tell him.

"we have to talk later" was all you mumbled, falling asleep next to him.

It blew your mind in a way, he had no clue about the fact he was a dad right now, yet here you were, falling apart by the seams. You wish you didnt know. You wish you were him, you wish this never happened in the first place.

Happy birthday to you, huh?

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee @bokieya

#kim taehyung #taehyung #kim taehyung fanfic #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #bts fanfic #bts #bts fluff #taehyung fanfic #bts smut #bts taehyung #tae fluff #tae smut #bts x reader #tae drabble #tae fic #taehyung angst #taehyung imagine #taehyung series #Kim taehyung series

[non-plutonian-druid]

Sex repulsed asexual AFABs, birth control, and "what the fuck am i supposed to do about that anyway?"

This isnt going to be answering that question. because i dont have one, and also im not even a little qualified to answer it. I'm just going to be talking about a gaping hole in every single resource I've ever seen about reproductive health, and why it bothers me that the hole is there.

(I dont talk on my blog much, and when I do its not usually serious or TMI, but hi there! this is serious. and maybe TMI.)

So first of all, for those of you in the audience who are not sex repulsed asexual AFABs, I'm going to walk you through the experience of reading resources on birth control when you are one.

You read a pamphlet or an article or a blog post about the options that exist for birth control. This is already a privilege, because many AFAB people have little or no access to any information about their own reproductive health. The pamphlet or article or blog post talks about birth control pills, or getting an IUD, the arm implant, patches, and so on. You say, "Cool. Is this something I need to worry about at all?" The pamphlet or article or blog post does not answer because the pamphlet or article or blog post is written with the assumption that all of the people reading it will ever be in a situation where they would have sex willingly. Possibly in situations where they would have sex willingly, lots of times. And you never, ever will.

So you're kinda left to just.... guess?

Should you do some kind of birth control even though it costs money, and hormonal birth control changes your hormones (a minor change to your body, but still a change to your body), and might even involve surgery, when you're not even going to want to have sex, just because it's physically possible to get pregnant? That's probably safest, but it feels like a waste. Should you ignore it entirely because it's not going to apply to you of your own free will? Seems a little risky but why would you live your life wearing a bicycle helmet in case someone forces you to ride a bicycle? Is there some kind of in between?

I dunno. I don't have an answer. I don't think the medical community has one, because I don't think the medical community, as a force, realizes that there are people that exist who will never ever want to have sex. And thats like... a problem?

It's not even only sex repulsed asexual AFABs who this applies to. That's just the Most Emblematic demographic that I picked out, mostly because I am one. There are asexuals who aren't sex repulsed who would still never have sex, and there are people who aren't asexual who are still sex repulsed, or who for one reason or another don't ever want to have sex.

Individual medical practitioners would probably answer this question if you asked them, but WHAT would they answer, and would their answers really be based on what is best for people who are never going to have sex, or just what everyone else should do because "yeah they might change their mind", or whatever their own personal best judgement is?

Let me give you a hint: i am pretty sure that zero research has been done on the best way for sex repulsed asexual AFABs to engage with birth control that balances both practicality and risk of pregnancy, so it CANNOT be the first one. Research about what the first one even is doesn't exist.

So like what do we do!! There might be a very simple answer. But we don't know what it is!! Even over the course of writing this, I've swung wildly between "it's smartest to just bite the bullet" and "no why would you when sex isn't even something you do ever?"And the places I'm supposed to go to get reliable information can't help me because they don't know I exist.

And this brings me to the more emotional, less practical section of my essay-rant, because the thing that I've been dancing around this whole time, which you might have picked up on, is the fact that the only time birth control for us would ever be useful is in case of rape.

Any birth control that you give to someone who can get pregnant but would never ever have sex willingly is in case of rape. If its a pill, they're taking the pill every day and every day it's because someone might rape them. If they're getting something surgically implanted, they're having that surgery to prevent pregnancy if someone rapes them. And for no other reason.

Hey, making decisions about the internal pieces of your body literally only because someone might rape you... sucks! it sucks to be thinking about and it is the ONLY thing for us to be thinking about. Other people who take birth control... it would protect them in case of rape but at least usually for them its intended purpose is for sex they want.

Thinking about birth control when all you would use it for is rape blows lol

#asexual #ace #reproductive health #birth control #rape mention #sex repulsed #yeah i know there are other reasons to use hormonal birth control but thats not what this is about #the sequel to this is 'i want to get surgically sterilized bc the thought of getting pregnant is viscerally upsetting' #'except im sex repulsed and asexual so this is an expensive surgery that is for in case of rape and for no other reason which SUCKS' #but thats a personal thing and not a 'where is the education' thing which is why the essay is about this and not that #im rocketing wildly between 'this is a dumb non issue' and 'this is a huge gap in education and resources' #so hopefully my fellow sex repulsed aces have got me even if no one else does lol

[virginiaisforhaters]

in light of EvErYtHiNg happening at the moment it feels like a good time to mention that there is a non-iud birth control implant. it only lasts three years (at least the one i have) but if you for some reason cannot get an IUD you have other long term non-daily options. i previously had an IUD, it was not compatible with my body, and tbh i would have chosen the implant over an IUD if i knew they existed (but this is not to say either is the superior form of birth control, just that different things work for different people and you should know you have options- my doctor certainly fucking didnt tell me i had to find out on my own). ive had a nexplanon implant for almost six years now, so two implants so far. it is easy, and not very painful (i am a person for which iud insertion was the most intense pain i have ever experienced and would not be able to endure again, it made me scream- the side effects of insertion also caused me to spend the night in a tiny ancient bathroom throwing up in a ballgown at a black tie event at the corcoran for a sculpture i helped create and install, still mad about that, in the interest of full transparency). in the current climate it would be ideal to get the longest lasting form of birth control, but just know if you cant get an IUD there are other options. 

and whats an arm implant like? honestly, like my tattoos, 99% of the time i forget its there. they shoot it into your arm with like, the medical equivalent of a claires ear piercing gun, which is really cool and not very painful. i make a lot of jokes about being a cyborg. you get a large, weird ass bruise, mine went away after 1-2 weeks and was shaped like a dick and balls which was super funny. when the time comes to replace it you go to the doctor and they numb your arm, make a tiny cut to get the old implant out, and pop a new one in. takes five minutes tops, and the bruising is less bad the second time around because theyre using the same hole. is it weird having a piece of plastic in your arm? i guess? no weirder than having a piece of plastic or copper in your uterus, or taking a pill at the same time every day. i worked extensively in physical jobs after getting my implant (ropes course facilitator/climbing instructor and hardware store) and pretty much always worried about it snapping, because i was working jobs that heavily relied on using my arm muscles, but it did not break despite all that, which was pretty impressive. i will say i have heard stories from people whose implants snapped, and it was not pleasant. im not here to sugar coat it we have to be realistic in this new hellscape. if you hit your implant its not gonna feel good. i have a high pain tolerance, so insertion might have been less painful for me than for others. you will have a tiny scar on your arm, its barely noticeable. 

i have periods... sometimes. more often i just get weird random spotting, maybe a few times a year i’ll get an actual period, but nothing like the two week hellfest i used to, which is a bonus jonas if you have Gender Stuff. it did take some time for my period to stop happening at first, a few months maybe before it just went away. i like my implant a lot but people always think its super weird because theyve never heard of them, so here we are. implants exist. if you like to mess with people you can poke it around under your skin and people freak out. its really funny. would rate them 9/10 with the caveat that three years isnt a full presidential administration and it may become impossible to replace. you can also tell people you were abducted by aliens and they left a weird rod in your arm. honestly the opportunities for fucking with people are endless. 

#current events #birth control #long post

[intersex-support]

i always assumed i had hyperandrogenism (not confirmed but several of my doctors suspected it and my mom is diagnosed with it) but some of the things my body does on testosterone are weird. like im on 70mg a week subq and my last blood levels were 218 (it should be at least 400) but my body responds to testosterone extremely well. i got every change very early, my doctor who manages my transition was really surprised by it. if it makes a difference i know i have a uterus and ovaries (confirmed via ultrasound and mri and i used to have an iud). i also had precocious puberty. ive only had one confirmed ovarian cyst so i dont necessarily think i have pcos, until recently i was assuming ncah but didnt pursue a diagnosis because of medical trauma and it not really causing me any problems now that im on t, its mostly just weird. i havent had my chromosomes tested or anything. does this sound like anything? thank you!!

Hey anon, this definitely sounds like it could be hyper-androgenism! We can't tell you for sure but it looks like you've done a lot of research and our blog has a couple things on our research page where you can look into the different variations that might fit.

I have met a lot of people also diagnosed with CAH who say they have had cystic ovaries, so if you are leaning towards PCOS because of the cyst then I wouldn't rule out (N)CAH. Similarly, I have hyper-androgenism and had a precocious puberty which is/can be a part of being intersex depending on variation.

Sorry for getting back to you a little late! This is about as much advice that I can give you right now but I do think you have a lot of good evidence to at least question things a little bit more.

#mod stev #hyperandrogenism #asks #answered

[certainduckanchor]

BABY FEVER part 1

pairings : gojo x reader

genre: semi angst to fluff

Being married to Satoru for five years is wonderful. Though sometimes you wonder what's it's like to have a baby? A baby who looks exactly like Satoru and you.

Satoru never talked about having a baby during your marriage maybe because he's busy being a clan leader and a sorcerer so he doesn't have time to take care of another being. And you understand him, sometimes being a sorcerer takes a lot of your time.

But you can't helped thinking yourself being a mother. Whenever you see a couple together with their baby, you can't helped but to feel jealous. Will you be a good parents?

" hon, are you okay? " gojo caught your attention. you were dozing off thinking about a baby. Almost forgot that you're watching a movie together.

" I'm fine, Toru. " you smiled at him. He stared at you as if he's reading your mind.

" you don't look okay, you seem quite these past few weeks. can u tell me what's going on?" worry is all over his face.

You wanted to tell him so bad that you're having a baby fever.

" I'm fine, really. Just tired from work. "

Guess, you don't have the courage to open up with him since he never talked about having a baby with you. So maybe, he's okay being a teacher to his students.

You wanted to cry, it seems emotional to you. You really don't get it why its emotional. It's just a phase you will forget it you thought to yourself. You took a deep breath, calming yourself, you don't want to be emotional infront of your husband.

" are you sure? you can talk to me anytime. " he hugged you. you just nod yourself.

--

The next day, you went to Jujutsu High hoping you'll find Shoko. And there you see her in her office reading some reports.

" did you tell Gojo, already? " the first thing she asked when you enter the room.

Shoko knows what's going on with you that you're having a baby fever.

" i don't have a the courage to tell him Shoko. im having seconds thoughts because we never talked about having baby. M-my mind is telling me that Satoru doesn't want to be dad." you bite your lower lip. it hurts you. You don't know why it stress you so much.

Shoko took a deep breathe.

" come here. let me check on you. " shoko grab your hands.

" w-why? what's going on? " you're confuse, the way she acted. She's holding a syringe.

" i need to examine you. my instinct is telling me something. " she whispered. You winced in pain when she withdraw a blood in you.

" tell me what's going on, shoko. " you feel like you'll pass out. it made you nervous.

" i think you're pregnant."

Your world stop as you hear those words. You don't know how to respond, you're nervous.

" I-i can't be pregnant Shoko. We're using protection or i had my IUD. " you're nervous, you feel you'll collapse in no time. Is this why your so emotional? Is this why you're having a baby fever? But you don't have any symptoms of being pregnant.

You think of Satoru, will he be happy or mad at you?

" it's not always effective y/n. and besides let's wait for the result if you're really pregnant."

" shoko I'm scared." you whispered.

" whatever the results will be. I'm here for you, okay? " she comforted you. You've been sitting in her office for 20 mins. waiting for the results.

You took a deep breath. What if the results turns out to be positive?

Shoko comes back to you holding a paper. Her face looks so serious.

" y/n it's......"

" w-what is it?" you nervously asked. You gulped.

" positive, you're really pregnant. 3 weeks pregnant. "

You cried, you're happy at the same time it scares you.

" congrats y/n!" Shoko hugged you. You don't know how to respond, should you be happy?

What if you're just the only one who wanted a baby? maybe that's the reason why Satoru never discussed having a baby with you is because he really don't like one.

" S-shoko. I'm so happy at the same time scared of Satoru. What should i do? "

You looked the test results. You're indeed 3 weeks pregnant, tears streaming down on your face.

" well you should tell him y/n. tell him the truth and he will understand you."

You didn't answer her. You'll just find a perfect moment or maybe wait for another months until Gojo notice you tummy.

" I'll give you medicine okay? You have to be careful now, y/n. Eat healthy foods. And avoid stress. Whatever is in your mind right now you have to tell Gojo, he can help you with that." you nod.

" thanks shoko. don't tell anyone okay? " you hugged her.

--

At home, you cooked his favorite foods. Hoping tonight you can finally say it to him.

" Satoru, welcome home!" you kissed him in the cheeks. He looks tired as he takes off his shoes and hug you.

" i miss you baby." he whispered hugging you so tight.

" we just see each other this morning " you laugh. "Anyway i cooked your favorite, come on let's eat." you guide him to the kitchen.

Do you really have the courage to tell him?

You sat together, this is it. I'm telling him now but.... I'm scared.... im scared... what if he won't like it? Will he leave me?

I'm scared....

" hey you look a little bit pale. are you okay?" gojo touch your hands. You nervously smiled.

I'm scared...

" satoru c-can i ask you something?"

" hmmm. what is it? " not bothering to look at you as he continued to eat. You took a deep breathe.

" w-we never d-discussed this before. d-do you ever think of having a b-baby?" you bite your lip. your heart is beating so loud.

He stopped eating. He looked at you confuse.

" a baby?" he frowned. you nervously nod at him. " not really, i mean we're busy as a sorcerer so i never really think of that. why? " he asked you.

" n-nothing. i was just asking you." you half heartedly smile.

Guess you're right. Satoru never wanted to have a child. You wanted to cry in front of him. You want to tell him that you're pregnant but the way he answered maybe it's not really worth it.

--

1 month later.....

After that conversation you never tell Satoru about your condition. You never also open up to him. And it seems, he's not interested. You're both busy so you just indulge yourself in work.

Shoko keeps telling you that you have to tell him but you can't, not after he answered you.

" so when will you tell him? Gosh. you're 1 month and 3 weeks pregnant y/n."

This situation put so much stress. Shoko was right you really have to tell him now or it will affects in your pregnancy.

" i know you're scared y/n. But being scared rather than telling him the truth won't change anything. He's your husband I'm sure he'll be happy."

" i promise I'll tell him. I just have to find a perfect moment. " you lied. You don't know how long until you can keep this up.

" stop overthinking and stress yourself. You know it's not good to the baby." shoko reminded you.

--

Today marks your 2nd month . You still never told Gojo and it's stressing you out.

Shoko told you also not to overwork, but no matter how much you do you just can't leave your work even in your house you're still making reports.

You touched your head, you feel dizzy and nauseous. You've been experiencing this 2 days ago.

" S-satoru......" you called him. You're holding your head and belly at the same time, you feel unwell. It's like you'll pass out in no time.

You keep holding on your belly as you slowly walk heading towards the living room, suddenly you felt something weird in you feet. It's wet. Why is it wet?

You looked down, and your eyes widened, there's a blood in your legs, you panicked. Noooo.

" S-satoru! Satoru!" you shout. you're panicking. No it can't be.... my baby.

" what's wrong? Why are you---- " satoru eyes widened as he saw your state. Your crying and panicking. And there's blood in your legs. Are you preg-?

He hurriedly caress you as you lose your balance.

"Look at me." he tried to calm you down. Worry and panicked is also all over his face.

" the b-baby satoru.. i cant... the b-baby, please. Save my baby." is the last thing you said as you lose your consciousness.

Please understand that english is not my first language. I'm trying my best to write this. If you want to correct me just comment or message me. I'll be happy to respond you.

P.S. i don't have any idea what title should i put

No proofreading.

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #anime and manga #gojo x wife #gojo x y/n #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen #gojo angst #manga and anime #jjk fluff #jjk angst

[janeblr]

ranting about my post-covid issues under the cut.

my difficulty breathing, frequent infections, exhaustion, etc. after i had covid were all explained by physical damage to the alveolar epithelium. i just had to wait for my lungs to regenerate while i got respiratory infection after respiratory infection and got winded walking around the grocery store. but trying to propose that theory to ANY healthcare professional just made them roll their eyes like "oh another nursing student who thinks she's a genius" like NO it's a very simple and logical explanation and research into lung damage following COVID infection supports my theory!!! but when i say things like "i didn't get winded because being sick for a few weeks deconditioned me, but because my lungs can't oxygenate my blood as effectively" they thought i was being dramatic and gave me albuterol inhalers even though i HAVE asthma and i KNOW what asthma feels like and that was not it. an albuterol inhaler did not help my lungs work better. and i got frequent infections because covid knocked out all the little macrophages in my alveoli so bacteria and viruses could easily penetrate the already weakened alveolar tissue.

and i know damn well that if they had bothered to labs besides a cbc and cmp, i would have had an elevated crp and esr but nooooo i was just being dramatic!!! it was just cold season :))) like im sorry i didn't know cold season meant you get seriously sick for two weeks at a time every month. and also i wish that bitch allergist/immunologist i was referred to a very Die because she wanted to do skin prick testing for allergies and i refused because "i'm telling you right now. this isn't allergies or asthma" she said "oh you'd be surprised! sometimes allergies can even present as heartburn haha!" like don't fucking condescend me. i know what eosinophilic esophagitis is i'm not stupid.

and like. my alveoli healed! i can breathe again! i hadn't gotten on my bike in almost a YEAR the other day but i was able to do ten miles without dying whereas i was gasping for breath after one mile when i got on my bike three months after having covid. i feel vindicated.

URHGHHH looking back im just so MAD that nobody listened to me!!! literally the only doctors who have ever listened to me are my gyno that agreed to an exploratory laparoscopy because i made my case against birth control or gnrh antagonists to treat severe period pain consistent with endometriosis, and my ortho that BELIEVED ME and didn't stop at x-rays to see why i was in pain and did MRIs and found yep! multiple bulging or herniated discs, uneven hips, diffuse inflammation around my lower spine/sacrum. instead of being like "oh you're in your twenties you're just drug seeking/being dramatic"

the birth control thing literally made me so mad because i understand it's the most common treatment for endo, but i said at the beginning that oral contraceptives are a bad mix with Crazy because they cancel out my antidepressants. lo and fucking behold i'm in the ER with a guard and my arm hacked open after five days on lo loestrin fe. but i was like look. all oral contraceptives are going to do the same thing, gnrh antagonists are metabolized by the liver in the same pathways as my mood stabilizers, and the only guaranteed to diagnose and treat endo is laparoscopy and ablation/excision. so she did it and stuck an IUD in me while i was put under because i can't do a pelvic exam without literally kicking her in the face. #justcsathings lol. luckily i DONT have endo(period pain was psychogenic, #justcsathings lol) and the hormones of the IUD are locally acting and don't affect my mental health.

grrrr being a woman in healthcare is a nightmare. btw i don't have a UTI its an external yeast infection, which i was surprised by because i don't have any of the classic yeast infection symptoms besides hellfire when i pee. i have to pick up my diflucan from walgreens tomorrow morning.

#mypost

[maknaesdancersrappers]

wait so was jaehyun attracted not only because of her looks but because his friends werent attracted to her? what would have happened if his friends werent silent but also made comments about her? would things have been different? would he have looked for a diff girl that his friends didnt like or were his friends just scared of him thats why they were silent? idk if i should ask this to you (rj) or as an open forum ask to devoted jae

im just gonna be team doyoung to be safe 😌 KIDDING HAHAHAHA

as usual you delivered rj! the new chapter hurts </3 sad to see that the two of them have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT versions of how they fell inlove :( i hope jaehyun just fainted i mean he deserves this because he had it coming but it hurts 😭 glad that yn walked away this time you can reallly feel the emotions from the writing and all thats why it HURTS!!! she left her phone so i just hope theyre gonna meet again soon 🤭

i have so much questions rn add to that is this team kun’s revival? how jaehyun will be acting after that like will he still have her monitored? what if yn is pregnant after that iud issue thing 😭

BYE RJ IM GONNA HAVE THESE STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR A WEEK AGAIN OR LIKE UNTIL THE NEXT UPDATE ITS BEEN SOOOO LONG SINCE I WAS SO INTO A STORY YOURE SO GOOD AT THIS

ok i dont know how to insert into the fic anymore but lets just say that jaehyun's high school circle was bad -- i think i mentioned that other than drugs, they had a sex ring. jaehyun never joined in on that but he knows that they basically "share" girls SO when he realized that they didn't pay attention to [Y/N], he didnt have to worry about "sharing" her.

UGH I HAD TO PUT MYSELF IN EITHER OF THEIR SHOES AT THE SAME TIME because on one side, he had her investigated and orchestrated an entire plan for them to meet while on the other, she just thought it was purely a coincidence 😩😩

yes, she left her phone it would be really bad if somethingpotentiallymaybeperhapshappentoherasshewalksintothenight

After every chapter, I take a good 2-3 days of break from writing and based off the outline i have and the masterlist, it's the last part for this... section??? idk what to call it but ye

#replies #anon

[hrina]

idk if this helps but i think for me it helped to realize that "virginity" isnt this massive thing--its a big deal to do anything for the first time, but putting a lot of weight on it only makes it harder! i had a very traumatic first time when i was way too young (we're talking like wayyyy too young not like 16) and i was fucked up over it for a long time but ultimately if i got over the "but my first was supposed to be magical&special" ideology it improved my life dramatically, and i just put the mental weight on the first time i did it and had a good time, instead. but also, if youre doin other sexy stuff with this guy and he makes you feel good and safe, theres no reason why he'd act different with another slightly more intimate act. and honestly its maybe better to do it with someone you're not 100% on? imagine you get in a relationship and put all this value on it and then the guys bones and leaves, that will really fuck you up! whereas this guy you know you have a good time with but its not like its love rn, so the worst case scenario is it goes shitty and you figure out its def not meant to be. but it seems like he cares about your pleasure and likes you, and those are the two things that are gonna make it a really good time, more than anything else. most likely it will be fun (not amazing bc it IS the first) and then you can do it lots more and have a great time! but also if youre really not comfy with it, dont do it. theres no reason to make yourself uncomfortable for a guy you're not even sure u really have feelings for. but if its gonna be a good time and he's not making you feel weird and you feel good about it but just stressed bc its your first? let that go and bone down is my advice! and its nice to be on the pill or an iud after a certain point anyway cuz you just always know you'll be ready when the situation presents itself. idk if any of that is helpful at all lol but its just my thoughts!

no this is definitely helpful and i rly appreciate u putting in ur two cents. i 100% agree that there's this big deal surrounding the concept of virginity, i think for me it's not necessarily the actual sex part but rather knowing that if im in a relationship w this person i can trust them + be comfortable around them because they've stuck around for this long (hopefully that makes sense skdskjd i feel like im just vomiting up words atp). but the thing is he definitely makes me feel comfortable which is why i'm even toying w the idea of sleeping w him in the first place. but idk my anxiety is just nagging at me unfortunately bc what if i sleep w him then things go south and then i just feel schtewpid and embarrassed </3

but anyway! thank u for this 💖

#anon

[shhh-no-ones-home]

heavy cross to bear* matt Murdock x reader

+++++++++ Request @juniebugg: reader and Matt are in a very serious relationship (could be married) but then when reader actually sees Elektra, whom she already knew about but has never seen because she was "dead," she gets really insecure and tells matt that he deserves better or something and he reassures her. Angst and smut"

hopefully its not too ooc this is my first MM smut so i hope you like! and thanks again for the request!!

* - you asked for smut and that really is all this is lol, little bit of story. 

Song: wasted time by skid row

tag list: @cynic-spirit @juniebugg

+++++++++

i sat at the table sipping coffee and thinking. it was almost nine at night and i knew i should be getting ready for bed but my body wasn't quite ready to move yet. when matt disappeared into our bedroom i figured he'd be changing into daredevil for the millionth time but when he emerged in his pajamas i was a little surprised. and then it hit me. maybe he knew. hell, he always knew.

but maybe it was just that something was off, that i needed him to say it again, to stay with me and make sure i knew. but then there was her. she had showed up out of nowhere and took me off guard more than anything else up until now. one more doubt at the forefront of my mind. that i didnt believe him when he said he loved me despite being married for a year, despite having dated for three before hand, and despite everything he has done to keep me safe. because he loved her first and it felt like the biggest lie ive ever been told. even after a couple days of sitting on it and hoping it would go away. still it was there. in the back of my mind:

"matt i dont know if i can do this anymore."

his head tilted to the side and he looked confused.

"do what?"

he asked almost worried, moving slowly to the table and sitting.

"this, us. i just- you deserve so much more, so much better than- well, than me."

he was quick to scoot his chair closer to my own, his hand coming to rest on mine.

"hey, dont even say that. what would make you think i would want anyone but you?"

now he absolutely sounded worried.

"i saw her matt."

"saw who?"

i shook my head.

"that woman, your ex. you said she was gone."

"elektra?"

he sounded a little broken.

"shes something else ill give her that much. i see why you like her."

he swallowed hard.

"elektra is dead."

i shook my head.

"then why was she here? looking for you. saying your name with such... god i dont even know how to explain it. matthew."

i repeated it exactly as she had said it and it felt wrong. like i was acting. saying someone elses emotions and intentions. they were no longer mine. or at least it seemed like it. There was a long silence and I just stared at him.

"She was here?"

There was hope in his voice and I figured that was it. It made me angrier than it probably should've and my only response was to stand and walk away. I got half way across the living room before he caught my arm.

"Y/n, that doesn't matter. I-"

He swallowed hard and I tried to study his face.

"You mean more to me than anything. Yes I love, loved, her but I married you. I chose you. I want nothing more than to be with you. For better or for worse remember?"

He bargained and I sighed heavily.

"How can I be sure you mean that? What if she comes back? again."

He shook his head, taking both my hands in his and stepping closer to me.

"Let me prove it to you. If she really is back then it doesn't matter. I'm with you, I love you, and I'll always chose you."

I closed my eyes, feeling him get closer and closer until his forehead was against my own.

"We belong together."

He whispered before kissing me gently.

"I only want you."

He kept just as quiet, kissing next to my mouth once, then twice, making his way across my cheek and to my jaw.

"Matt."

I breathed out and he paused. I licked my lips lightly before opening my eyes and looking at him. He really did seem like he meant it. He was trying so hard to keep it together.

"I can't lose you."

He sounded so broken.

"Do it."

He drew his brows and I brought my hand up to touch his face gently. We were still so close I could feel his breath fanning my neck.

"Show me you mean it."

I said softly and his Expression changed.

"I love you so much."

He said before kissing me harshly, releasing my hands and pressing his fingertips into my hips. I hummed against him as he walked us backwards. We stumbled along as he pulled my shirt up, tossing it to the floor.

"Matt."

I moaned, pulling his shirt up next. It was gone in a second and he was back, kissing me and moving quickly to get my pants down. His hands roamed my body just as much as mine roamed his. I traced my fingers slowly up his torso, grazing over his scars before wrapping my arms around his neck. I gasped when he picked me up. There was a soft laugh that escaped him and I was relieved to see him smile even if it was just a second. He knew it would take some convincing and he was right. I needed to know he meant it. That Elektra wasn't gonna be a problem.

"I need you."

He whispered again, laying me gently on the bed and situating himself between my legs.

"I need you to know how much I mean it."

He kissed my jaw slowly, then down my neck and across my collar bone.

"Prove it."

I challenged, my breath hitching in my throat as he ripped my bra open from the front, his lips grazing my nipple before taking it into his mouth. He hummed against me, his finger tips down my torso and into my panties.

"Matt."

I moaned, dropping my head back as he ran his finger up me and against my clit. i closed my eyes, pushing my head back into the bed as he stroked me, kissing his way back up to my exposed neck.

"i love you."

he repeated against the heat of my skin. when he resituated i could feel how hard he was already.

"i need you."

i breathed out, pressing my hips up into him as he continued to finger me.

"matt."

i whined, him removing his hand long enough to pull my panties down. i looked up to him with lust blown eyes, watching him intently as he got rid of his boxers.

"youre still okay with this?"

he asked and i nodded quickly, pulling his face to mine and kissing him deeply.

"please."

i moaned, inhaling deeply before he kissed me again, pushing his hips into mine. my breath caught in my throat as he pushed all the way into me, catching my bottom lip between his teeth as my mouth hung open.

"i wanna hear you."

he said softly.

"feel you."

he moaned against my shoulder, dropping his head to the crook of my neck as he placed his large palm over my heart. it was already banging at my rib cage begging to be let out but i could have swore it did when he started moving. he pulled out of me slowly before slamming back into me and i moaned so loudly i was surprised at myself. and then he did it again and again, getting a good rhythm. it was long, and hard. nothing like our nights prior, even on his worst of days when he's frustrated and in need of release. no this was different. purposeful.

"matt."

i held onto him for dear life, pressing my fingertips into his shoulder blades as he continued to pound into me in long drawn out strokes.

"tell me. tell me what you want."

he grunted out, trying to sound as steady as possible.

"i want you. god i only want you!"

i cried out as he thrusted upward harshly. then he did it again and i saw stars, my mouth falling open as i moaned.

"thats my girl."

he praised, trailing his hand down my torso and pressing his finger in circles against my clit.

"youre almost there."

he coaxed, building me up. i could feel the tightness building, pressing my hips up to meet him as he kept his pace.

"im so close."

i panted, pressing my finger tips harder into his bicep as i gripped onto him.

"do it, do it for me, let go."

he said softly and i snapped. my orgasm racked through my body and my vision went blurry. i was breathing hard as he rode out my high, still chasing his own.

"im almost there."

he said, squeezing his eyes shut. he moved to pull out but i wrapped my legs tightly around his waist.

"y/n?"

he asked surprised and i leaned up to kiss him.

"just do it."

i said, pressing a hard kiss to his neck. he kept going, knuckles going white against the bedsheets as he came in me with a loud groan.

"oh my god."

he panted, slowing his thrusts.

"i love you oh my god."

he said, dropping to his forearms, trying not to put his full weight on top of me. my legs were still wrapped tightly around his torso as we both calmed down.

"i love you too matty."

i said softly, feeling him nuzzle his nose against my neck. it made me giggle a little bit and i could feel him smiling against my skin before kissing it gently.

"you have no idea how relieved i am to hear that. youre the only one for me. always will be."

i sighed softly in content, kissing his forehead and dropping my legs.

"im sorry i doubted you. i just. i need a reminder every once in a while i guess."

he kissed my chest before pulling out of me and dropping to the bed beside me.

"i will give you as many reminders as you need, as long as we both shall live."

he said, taking my hand in his and kissing the back of it.

"thank you matt. thank you for everything. especially knocking some sense into me."

he raised a brow, a half smirk on his face and i immediately wondered what was going through that mind of his.

"after tonight sense might not be the only thing i knocked into you."

i couldnt help but laugh, him matching it as i rolled onto his chest.

"i know you want nothing more than to tell the father we're finally starting that catholic family with lots and lots of beautiful babies but i still have my iud."

he let out a short laugh sigh before i kissed him quickly.

"but that doesnt mean i couldnt be persuaded into getting it taken out."

he raised an intrigued brow.

"oh?"

i laughed lightly.

"ill think about it. right now i just wanna live in this moment with you."

i said the last bit through a yawn, resting my head against his chest and hearing his heartbeat.

"i love you."

he whispered, earning a hum from me as i dozed off.

#wattpad #x reader #337 #matt murdock #smut #daredevil #marvel #imagines #one shots #requests

[niuniente]

I really hope the pain from your IUD eases and disappears for you. Im currently on a wait list or an IUD myself ( haven't received it yet due to covid and being celibate). I remember you writing something about not wanting to take hormonel birth control so I apologize if this is annoying or unhelpful; my doctors prescribed me my iud as a result of irregular period pain but while Im waiting I've been placed on the Patch. My pain disappeared immediately when I started and apparently its often prescribes alongside iuds for pain treatment ( which is what my doctor will due) is it perhaps possible for you to do speak to your doctor about something similar I will say though a major difference is that im on the patch 100% of the time to STOP periods so the affects may be different. also when I started BC was the most stressful point of my life so far and my anxiety was terrible for about 2 months afterwards. however on the flip side even tho the stress continued after that period my anxiety was better then since before puberty and my suicidal thoughts nearly full stop ( I think I went a month an half without, had them for a week, and then 5 months without. it also went from mtuples times every hour to maybe a handful of times for an hour when I rarely had them)

regardless I wish you nothing my improvment of you pain whether its throug medical help or simply waiting for the year and a half to past. you seem like a geunily good person who deserves amazing things <3

Thank you! This is the first time I hear about the patch being used along the IUD. I have an appointment on May where I can complain about the IUD pains/cramps. Otherwise, I love this thing and it has worked like a miracle.

I wouldn't want to have hormonal medication because of the risk factors for stroke and cancer being high in my case. I took IUD only because my cards kept insisting that it's the right choice and my doctor also supported it. It has been a right choice, I absolutely love it! I just wish the pain wasn't this bad...

I used to have a medication that stops cramping but I can't use it. I'm going to ask a doctor if there's other brand for such a medication as it would be really, really good option.

I don't need IUD or hormones for anything else but the severe anemia treatment. So far periods have not stopped but I hope they eventually do :3 I mean, they HAVE TO. Otherwise I'm never healed until menopause but keep living a life that's severely chronically handicapping.

#ask niu #TMI

[pbandjesse]

I fet a lot better today but my lip looked horrible and so I only felt okay when I had my mask on. I did not want to be perceived. It looks a lot better now but for the whole morning it hurt a lot and needed a lot of tending too. This is why I shouldn't pick my chapped lips. 

I slept pretty good though. I was very anxious this morning about the doctor. I stood in the bathroom and wondered if I could still cancel. But I didn't. 

James drove me. They made pancakes first but I couldn't stomach any food. They promised me starbucks after. 

I got very nervous in the car. James had to circle the block and there was some police activity a few blocks away so they went out of the way and I was convinced we were going to be late. But they dropped me off and it was fine. 

I felt sick to my stomach. I was sure I was in the wrong place even though the kiosk where I checked in said to sick to the left. I was super nauseous with nerves. I had ripped my bandaid off and stored my skin around my wound. Because I have amazing luck. I texted James my worries and they were like everything okay! But then the nurse had to come find me because I was in the wrong place!! The kiosk lied to me!!

But the nurse was very nice. I was having a little bit of trouble hearing her. But she was a sweetheart. I have lost 10lbs from the last time I was there. And my blood pressure was great. 

And then I was in the room. I was shocked that the paper gown was just a vest?? They gave me a paper vest and a paper sheet!! I was very exposed. But I didn't have to wait long. 

I was nervous about the doctor, I didn't have great feelings last time but maybe she was just having an off day because this time she made me feel super safe. 

We talked about everything and the plan with my IUD is to replace it in febuary. I am not positive though. Maybe Ill switch to the shot? Regardless it is scary to get it out. I thought I had another year but that's alright. 

The exam was fine. I got a cramp in my leg. I tried to laugh a lot and not focus on the whole thing. They did a pap and that was very uncomfy! But didn't hurt as much as I anticipated. 

They did have me fill out a depression screening and as we were saying goodbyes and stuff the nurse picked it up and got big eyes and then the doctor got all serious. She gave me numbers to talk to someone to get medication. That she is very worried about me being depressed. And like. Yes. I will call the number, but its so frustrating. I tried last year and when I told her that that doctor could only see me once every 3 or 4 months she was like. What?? So at least I wasn't crazy that that was weird. 

I was glad to be done though. I called James and they soon came an got me and took me to starbucks. 

I got a very large drink so I could have it throughout the day. James got a crossant. We were standing and waiting when one of the baristas waved me over and told me that they were all talking about how cute we were and that we were the cutest couple. And it really just made my whole day. Huge confidence boost. 

We headed out and had lots of laughs about the compliments. James took my picture. And then we headed home. 

It was almost time for James to work. And I would work on styling. I did a little cleaning. And then made rice for lunch. 

I put red peppers and hot honey in it. And once I was done eating and done styling I decided I needed to lay down. 

Im glad I did. I slept for an hour and felt better when I got up. I cleaned up my face and went to get the mail. I was excited that my photos I had printed came and most of them look awesome. I want to get an album tomorrow I think. 

The camp chair we ordered also came! Its a two seater. We used the gift card that Ryan gave us and it was the perfect thing honestly. It is lower to the ground and is very comfortable. I am very very excited about it. 

I would work on my new print. I worked for a while but those eggs are tough! I am going to do those specifically tomorrow. But so far I think it is coming along great. I will hopefully finish that tomorrow pretty fast and then I can do a test print so it will be ready for the market on Saturday. 

I worked on making hardboiled eggs. Which I am never good at. I thought they were done and they weren't so I had to put them back in the machine. They would eventually be done and I had a very good egg salad sandwich. And when James was done work we laid on the couch and talked about the wedding. 

We sent an email to a place I think would be really great. I hope they get back to us soon so we can go check it out. Cause I think it will make me happy, make James happy, and compromise with what our families want. Cause I have been stressed about it since we had the conversations on Friday. It will be okay but I like when things are set in stone. 

I took a shower and now I am laying in bed with sweetP. It is lovely and breezy tonight. I am wearing a sweater. This is a really nice night. I hope you are having a nice night too. I am working on the museum tomorrow night. I hope it is fun. 

Goodnight everyone! 

[sofyasemyonovna]

ngl i wish i knew more about IUDs before i got one, it was being praised as this device that gets rid of periods and also you dont even have to remember that its there and only remove it every five years . so my bad that i didnt research more and now im TERRIFIED of removing it because of the shape and how much it hurt when it got inserted

:( i’m so sorry that’s truly awful. women’s reproductive health is still really not talked about enough. i feel like we’ve fought so hard in the past decades for the right to have birth control and things like that that we only talk about the positives and no one tells us the bad things.

ik it’s scary and painful but i really think the best thing would be to get it out to get it over with and so it doesn’t cause any further damage. rly wishing you the best of luck and i’m sorry again :(

[souryogurt64]

Not to scare anyone but I HATE exams and Pap smears. The device they use is cold and they open you up and it hurts and then for the Pap smear when they do the swab or small cut or whatever one time I bled after and I was so scared and I called the nurse and she’s like “yeah that’s normal” like WHAT

yeah i identify very very strongly with feminism and believe in science but vag healthcare is like. so bad. im not like a jade egg person or anything either but its very clearly abysmal and virtually nothing is known about conditions like PCOS and endometriosis and vaginismus and even normal stuff like squirting. the medical community wouldnt even acknowledge the female orgasm existed until the 60s. and its widely known that giving birth on your back makes it harder yet doctors continue to do that. this was stuff that was considered common sense in the fucking DARK AGES!!!!

what we think of as like, western “gynecology” only really started getting studied 170 years ago by a guy that sexually mutilated and tortured black women so uh yeah not surprising

i feel like things like planned parenthood and birth control are constantly in jeopardy and at risk of being taken away so everyone feels the need to go extremely hard for them. but like there is a ton of pressure to go on birth control if you dont want to, which i didnt expect, and oftentimes you will not get proper healthcare without it unless you lie and say you arent sexually active because they prioritize the potential health of a hypothetical baby over the well being and happiness of someone with a uterus. obviously if youre actively trying for a baby its different but its like we cant be trusted not to get knocked up and then carrying a healthy baby to term becomes the most important thing in the world

i had such a horrible experience with birth control im never going on it again. all of my friends have different stuff (pill, bar, IUD, etc) and almost all of them have bad side effects and i dont know anyone whos life wasnt made worse by BC. i think access to BC and agency over your body is very important but this just rubs me wrong lol , especially since BC was pushed through unethical trials that, again, exploited the lives and bodies of black women. and “male” birth control is not allowed because the exact same side effects found in (mostly) women are considered “too dangerous.”

again access to birth control is CRITICALLY important but the fact that this stuff only started getting studied recently due to misogyny and the short history is so deeply racist and eugenicist means that the drugs we have do have drawbacks. like the stuff with essure recently

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent / personal / tmi / menstruation / endometriosis / long post ... Im so fucking sick of healthcare professionals telling me to just wait it out and pushing my problems onto other doctors I just got my 5th shot of lupron and have 1 more next month. On my appointment last week i told the gyn how ive been having much more cramping and tissue but not blood coming out regularly and he said its possible the combined lupron and norethindrone are making my uterine lining too thin, and to stop the norethindrone (it was being prescribed to help any menopause-like side effects the lupron can have) And less than 24 hours after my first missed dose i get a full blown period complete with extreme mood swings and depression Im not bleeding this week but im still cramping and the mood swings are so fucking bad, being chronically ill and not getting enough relief from any of my medications is making all of this worse but im literally breaking down over any little thing The lupron and norethindrone combined i guess have been suppressing all my emotions bc this is what it was like on the daily before i started it (just not as bad) which is telling me that none of my psych meds are working but whatever I just now got off the phone with my psych and he said he doesnt want to do anything with my meds or dosing bc he says its related to hormones and thats what my gyn needs to address and i Need To Wait im fucking sick of waiting i cant do this ive been waiting since last august!!!!!!! I now have to wait 2 more whole months of mood swings until i can have another appointment with him hes refused to actually screen me for adhd too and says its bc im An Artist type that im not able to sit down and draw anything since last fall like i fucking hate him and he never gets my name or pronouns right and i cant go see a new psych bc of all the closures and i dont wanna call my gyn bc he said if things get worse i need to have a pelvic ultrasound done again and i cant do it!!! I fucking cant do it it hurts too much im too traumatized from depoprovera and mirena that i cant even touch myself without extreme dysphoria and fear that im going to cramp Its killing me that as someone who was so personally sexual to completely be traumatized from the road to an endometriosis diagnosis that i can no longer masturbate or even talk about sex without anxiety and being trans on top of it hurts even more Next gyn appt is my last injection of lupron and im really gonna push to plan for a partial hysterectomy (i only had endo cysts on the back of my uterus but it was 100% confirmed with surgery and biopsy) so i hope it will help so i can stop taking all these fucking hormonal medications like Before being diagnosed i was really planning on going on testosterone but now im too scared because i feel like it would really fuck up my health problems more - mentally and physically Ive given up on passing and am trying to focus on body acceptance especially now that ove had rapid weight gain that isnt being addressed by any of ky doctors i bring it up to God im just trying to vent here but seriously Do not take the diagnosis of endometriosis lightly its super serious to go forth with any treatments and you really have to commit to long term treatments and its a gamble either way For me not starting any treatments was unacceptable i needed help with extreme monthly periods and all forms of birth control ive tried exacerbated symptoms and never stopped bleeding - i literally cannot personally recommend any form of medical birth control bc every one has fucked me over, many different pills at different points in my life, shot (depoprovera gave me debilitating cramps and i bled non stop all 3 months which started this whole journey to diagnosis), iud (iud was the worst i had to go to the er bc the gyn refused to give me pain meds and i was screaming in pain a few hours later unBle to move or think - i really cannot stress enough how painful and long insertion is like it was the longest 5-10 minutes of my life crying while it felt like a knife going through me) I really dont want that ultrasound tho ffs i had to get the first one done while i was in full force cramps during my depoprovera shot and the pelvic ultrasound rod is humongous and they dig it around inside you (i already had a painful and hard time trying to have pleasurable penetration even by myself or with partners) and it takes like 40 minutes of jumbling around your insides for them to document every thing like at least at that time i was only like 2 months from my last time jerking off but now its been almost 6 months of me not even thinking about putting more than one finger in to clean myself in the shower like to go right into an huge ultrasound is going to be so painful and anxiety inducing and i cant do it id rather go straight into surgery My biggest phobias have to do with pain around this part of my anatomy i cannot stress enough how long ive wanted a hysterectomy just so i dont have to fear accidentally getting p r e g... like i would literally kms... i would probably be able to handle the pain of cutting off my arm with a rusty knife better than extreme cramping pain like i had with the iud or ultrasound its such a phobia and now its source of trauma for me from everything ive gone through the last 6 months Having to readjust my life goals from doing p o r n as a hobby and wanting to transition and be who i am, to becoming a vegetable and trying to cope with the fact that i cant ever transition how i hoped Everything just really sucks for me right now and i have literally no social life any more, not even online bc im so stressed about my health and my attention is so bad i cant focus on a convo online, my laptop is about at its grave so all i have is a phone and xbox with bare minimum internet speed.. i live in the middle of nowhere and cant get my license bc the person who was guiding me to drive is an essential worker in a hospital so i cant go in their car any more... im just so fucking alone i cant do anything except break my back gardening and then cry about it later bc my fucking meds dont fucking work!!!!!!!!! Oh thats another thing im also dealing with fucking gerd on top of all this and i cant get the proceedure i need done to confirm if i need surgery or not bc the fucking lockdown!!!! So im stuck taking pantoprazole (been trying similar meds since march 2019 and its currently june 2020!!!!!!) I just want to eat tomatoes and chocolate again it fucking kills me if i dont take pantoprazole i will lose my voice and have such a sore throat and ears from the stomach acid and i know im gonna have to stop it for 2 weeks for one of the tests i need done and its going to be literal hell like it feels worse than strep throat ill probably do the thing where i start choking and coughing at night bc it gets so bad Im a fucking mess like why couldnt all of this happen one at a time I really want to get my belly pierced again bc i feel so naked without it but i cant bc i probably will be having 2 surgeries once covid blows over (if it ever does) Sorry for taking up so much dash space im just really hurting and need some outlet bc therapy isnt helping rn

#personal / #vent #long post #endometriosis #mental illness #menstruation #tmi #i need to stop crying but i cant lmaO #fuck endometriosis #literally a life ruiner #like i was already having a hard time before it but now i have zero hope for the future

[70slesbian]

omg did the iud hurt getting put in? i’ve heard some people say it was super painful so i was like okay 😬 maybe i won’t get one

sorry anon this turned into a reaaaaally long answer but !!

i actually didnt think it was too bad!!! but i got a stronger painkiller to take like an hour before and a heating pad to keep on my stomach which was really nice!! and it honestly hurt my vagina a little when the midwife was feeling around for my uterus and then they put in this thing that idk what it does it like makes it more open so they can reach i think?? and i had a hard time relaxing but then he had this ?? stick thing which was for measuring the uterus which is when it started feeling weird? like i could feel that he was scratching inside me?? like really deep and it started like a period cramp feel and then he put the iud in which was suuuper quick and for like a minute or two i had intense period cramps that make your whole body heavy if u know what i mean?? but like it was just a quick peak and after that ive only been getting like small flare ups of tiny cramp feelings but nothing more pain wise, ive been like lightheaded and a little dizzy all day though which ive heard is usually but i really didnt think it was bad at all!!!! the midwife i talked to said that most people that get extreme pain are people with endometriosis and that its worth it in the end anyways !! when i discussed the iud with my midwife we also picked one that was most likely to stop menstraution bc there are many different kinds!!! i had a pretty good experience with it so far so im hoping it help my cramps and stuff like that!! 

but if you feel like an iud might be scary you could probably discuss other alternatives depending on what its for!! my doctor said they wouldnt recommend i go on birth control pills bc im fat and i have illness in my family that put me in the risk zone for blod clots from the hormones, so she suggested like either an iud or the implant that goes in your arm but i picked the iud because it felt better to have the hormones in my body closed off to the uterus rather in my entire body ? but there are options!!

#ask #should i trigger warn any of this #... #.... #..... #.. #iud #menstruation #just incase #Anonymous