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megalony · 8 months

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IV Injuries

This is a new James Wilson (House MD) imagine that I hope you will all like, any feedback would be amazing.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn @noonenuts @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps @justagirlthatlovedtoread

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) helps the team look after a patient who takes a shine to her, but when she gets injured, it's her husband's turn to take care of her.

Enjoy.

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A rush of adrenaline sparked through (Y/n)'s stomach when she walked into the cafeteria and her eyes immediately landed on a familiar face. Coffee in hand, (Y/n) made a beeline towards James and let her fatigued frame flop down in the seat next to him.

She saw the way he tensed for a brief moment before he realised who it was plonking down next to him, and a soft smile pulled at his lips.

He watched her set down her take out cup of coffee before she turned towards him, curling her hands around his upper arm before she let her forehead fall onto his shoulder. He leaned back in his chair and pressed his lips against the top of her head, moving his hand to card his fingers through her hair for a few moments.

He hadn't seen her since they arrived to work this morning and subsequently parted ways to their different departments. James knew (Y/n) was supposed to be working in A&E today, but something told him she hadn't spent her morning there after all.

"Dare I ask how your day's going?" Eventually he turned his head back and took a bite of his sandwich. Lunch breaks weren't very long when they both worked in a hospital and he had skipped breakfast.

"House had a patient in A&E who took a shine to me… to cut it short, I've spent all morning with House."

(Y/n) was no stranger to Gregory House, she knew all his quirks and his strange ways and medical practices. But actually working with him was a lot different to having him come by her and James's house or drag them out for poker night. It didn't help when all his assumptions turned out to be wrong and no one had any clue what was happening to the patient.

When the patient- Adam- let (Y/n) take his blood, run urine samples and give him overall checks, but then wouldn't let House's team do anything, House dragged her from her post and back to his department for the day- or the foreseeable future depending on what was wrong with Adam.

Staying back in A&E would have been a lot more preferable to working under House, but (Y/n)'s dedication was to the patient and she couldn't leave him arguing and fighting with Cameron if he would cooperate just fine with her.

"Hm, if you're working with House you need to eat something." James pushed the other half of his sandwich towards his wife, raising his brows when she tried to shake her head. "Eat, you can't survive on coffee."

The look in his eyes made (Y/n) relent and take the sandwich, a grateful smile on her lips as she mixed some sugar into her coffee. House wasn't easy on breaks, not even lunch breaks or a ten minute breather to get a drink but (Y/n) had scampered off while the patient had visitors so she could refuel on some strong, sugary coffee. And James knew what it was like for those who worked for House, he didn't want (Y/n) becoming like them, tired and strung out and lacking a much needed rest.

"Do you think if I went back to A&E, House would come and drag me back?" It was tempting to just head back to her original post and if anyone asked, she was just needed on a consult or to help calm down a patient. No one asked questions when House walked in demanding. But if she went back and Adam continued to prove difficult, the team would most likely come looking for her and beg her to come back and help.

"Most likely. If he gets too annoying just go hide in my office."

"Thank you,"

(Y/n) kept one arm looped around James's upper arm and leaned her cheek on his shoulder while she took small bites of her sandwich. She would prolong lunch as much as she could and scrape together as much time with her husband as possible before she had to go back to the team.

But it was comforting to think that if House got too demanding or she was fed up being ordered around by him or the team, she could just sneak across to James's office and hide out there. She knew if she only asked, James would take her with him to any consults he had and just say it was for training or to have a calming female presence in the room.

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(Y/n) ran her fingers through her hair while she finished writing up her notes, leaning against the nurse's station. It was almost the end of her shift and she didn't care what House said, she would be leaving on time today. She wasn't technically part of his team so he couldn't force her to extend her shift and help.

She could barely contain her relief and excitement at the thought of leaving and heading home with James. But the satisfaction that was dwelling in her stomach slowly changed into dread when she looked down behind the counter she was leaning on and saw a flashing red light.

There was a code on room 107. Adam's room.

She thought about turning and running, James's office was only round the next corner, she could make a break for it and hide away in there so she didn't have to deal with this code.

(Y/n) had already taken three blood samples, a scratch test to see if he was allergic to anything. Checked his eyesight, set him up on three different antibiotic drips and done a lumbar puncture. And each time she did something new, Adam would grow continuously distressed, even when (Y/n) was the one doing the test. He was paranoid about something and he didn't want any more tests being done on him when he didn't understand what they were for or how they would help.

He had even started to get distressed when (Y/n) left the room, demanding to know where she was going and why she wasn't staying. It made her feel guilty even when she had no reason to, she felt like going to get a drink or going to consult with the team was almost a bad thing.

When the code continued to flash and a distinct crashing sounded, followed by Adam's high pitched shouting, (Y/n) sighed to herself.

She gathered what little strength and willpower she had left and sped down the hall towards Adam's room.

He was no longer sat up in bed, but rather stood near the window with what could only be described as fright written across his face. His pupils were blown wide and his breathing was erratic and he was holding the IV hook in front of him like the tall metal pole would provide some sort of cover or protection. He was glaring at Cameron, but when (Y/n) walked into the room, she swore his lip curled into a snarl in her direction.

"Adam, you okay? What's wrong?" Her eyes darted between him and Cameron, needing to know the situation since it was clearly escalating fast.

"She's trying to poison me."

"He needs an MRI, his liver is failing and he won't let me give him a sedative." Cameron moved her hand near (Y/n) to show the needle she was holding that contained a sedative. She knew Adam wasn't calm during any procedure and thought if he was sedated he would be a lot calmer and would let them do the scan but he wasn't having any of it.

"Adam, will you let me take you for the MRI? If your liver is failing we need to know why so we can help you."

(Y/n) tried to take a few steps closer to him but he only moved the IV line again so it was right in front of him and he was backed up towards the window. This wasn't just panic or paranoia, this was some sort of psychosis for him to believe they were going to hurt him. He had come to A&E willing and ready for help and now he believed they were here to hurt him.

"She wants to kill me, everyone does! I'm not doing anymore stupid tests. You hear me, none."

"Then will you get back into bed so you can rest?" If he wasn't going to cooperate then he may as well sit back down and try to calm down until they could figure out their next steps.

"So you can tie me down? No." He tutted and laughed cynically but the look in his eyes was manic. Despite their yellow undertone and blown pupils, his eyes were jittery and full of panic. Matched with the way he was jumping from foot to foot, ready to charge at any given moment, showed he was very ill.

"Adam, what do you want from us? If you won't let us help you and your liver fails, you could die." Cameron's words were meant to be reassuring but they had no effect on him.

He wasn't leaving them many options if he wouldn't go for the scan and he wouldn't even sit down on the bed and try to talk this through. They needed to sedate him and find out what was wrong before the mysterious illness destroyed his liver and killed him.

"You're just trying to scare me so I'll let you hurt me but I won't do it-"

"Cameron can find someone for you to talk to, you could speak to Doctor House, or the dean of medicine. And while she does that, you can sit in the chair over there and I'll wait with you. There's nothing on that chair that I could tie you down with and I don't want to do that Adam."

Looking to her right, (Y/n) locked eyes with Cameron and nodded at her to get her to agree. It was the only thing they could do that didn't involve pinning Adam down and sedating him so they could run their tests and prevent him from harming either himself or one of them. He hadn't met Cuddy yet, she could talk to him and give him the reassurance he needed whereas House's methods wouldn't be as gentle if Adam wanted to see him again.

When he didn't back away or start to scream, (Y/n) slowly took tenative steps towards him with her palms open at her sides to show him she had nothing to hurt him with. She wasn't trying to trick him or harm him or upset him, she just wanted to help him.

Cameron stepped over the threshold, about to go off and find Cuddy when a tortured sound left Adam's lips and he lunged.

He pushed the IV to one side and latched his fingers around (Y/n)'s throat tight enough to instantly cut off her air supply and send her stumbling backwards in shock.

Her hands came up to latch around his and she dug her nails fiercely into the back of Adam's hands to try and get him to relent but he was shaking with rage, too far gone to care or understand. The veins in his neck were throbbing and she could hear his teeth grinding down together as he forced her backwards until her lower back bashed into the bedframe.

She wanted to scream from the pain in her back and neck but all she could do was open her mouth and gasp while her eyes snapped closed and tears rolled down her cheeks.

He leered over her, snarling and spitting until a look of shock overwhelmed him and he suddenly let her go.

(Y/n) slumped down to her knees, croaking and gasping for air but she managed to look up through her tears. Cameron had given him the sedative while his back was turned towards her.

Grabbing up at the bedframe, (Y/n) used it to hoist herself onto unsteady legs but she wasn't quick enough to stop Adam from lashing out lashing the back of his hand across Cameron's face. The force sent her stumbling back and once she was off him, Adam backed away from both of them, shaking on his feet when his vision started to blurr.

(Y/n) wanted to speak, she wanted to tell him to calm down and sit down before he fell and ended up hurting himself. It was too late for him to panic and rage now because the sedative was going to come into effect within a minute, if not less. He was only going to end up in more distress and pain if he didn't try and listen and stop his tantrum of rage. But she couldn't speak.

Her throat was coarse and dry and her lungs were burning like they were on fire. She needed a drink, she needed to sit down and clear her foggy head.

"Adam!"

(Y/n) was in too much of a daze to realise what Adam was doing and Cameron wasn't quick enough to reach him before he lashed out.

His hands grabbed the IV pole and as quick as anything, despite his blinding rage and foggy mind from the sedation, he swung the pole. The thin metal caught the side of (Y/n)'s head like a beam of lightning striking her down and sent her to the floor in one swoop.

Everything turned to static in her ears and she didn't feel herself collide with the floor, even the pain she expected to feel in her head wasn't there. All she felt was numb as a sheet of blackness dwelled in front of her eyes, despite (Y/n) knowing she was still somewhat conscious.

She wasn't sure how long she laid there before her mind rebooted itself and everything came back to her in a slow, awkward order. The bright lights beaming down on her made her squint and blurred her vision into blobs of grey and yellow. Cameron's panicked voice and the sound of someone else saying her name came flooding through her ears like distant voices carried on the wind from far away. She could barely feel hands rummaging over her skin, trying to check her injuries and move her so she was lying on her back instead of her side.

But when the pain came back, it hit her like a train.

Her head felt like it had swelled ten times its size and the whole left side of her skull was on fire. She could feel each blood vessel throbbing in her head and pounding to the area that hurt the most. She could feel agonising tendrels of pain crawling along her head like snakes tracing all across her head. And thudding along with the blinding, splitting bolts in her head, her neck was aching and pulsing like it was starting to swell, but maybe that was just her imagination.

She didn't realise her hand had moved towards her head until her fingertips ever so gently grazed the sight of the pain and she coiled her hand back with a screech.

"(Y/n), can you hear me?"

"Hm," (Y/n) let Cameron and the other nurse in the room gently sit her up and let the blood drain back down from her head to the rest of her body.

"I should take a look at that for you," Cameron reached over to try and inspect the wound but (Y/n) caught her wrist before she could and threw it back at her. She didn't want Cameron or anyone else trying to patch her up.

With the help of the nurse, (Y/n) grabbed her shoulders and slowly fumbled up onto unsteady legs that were trembling and buckling beneath her but she forced them to stay upright. She needed to get out of here. Adam needed his MRI and (Y/n) wanted to be as far away from him as possible because this wasn't his fault but her anger was already being directed towards him and that wasn't right.

"(Y/n) where are you going, you need to be examined-"

"I- I'll find James."

(Y/n) didn't want anyone else but him. He was more than capable of examining her head and stitching it up, if indeed the wound was bad enough to require stitches. She didn't want anyone else watching over her or touching her. She just wanted her husband.

Besides, the sedative wouldn't last forever and with Chase and another nurse already in the room getting Adam hoisted back onto the bed, they would need to take him quick for his MRI. They had to be fast so they could start treating him before he woke up and started another fight.

Everything inside her told her to cradle her head, touch the wound or apply some sort of pressure in case the bleeding was substancial, but she couldn't. Touching it would cause blinding pain and she didn't need the added pain or stress or the threat of passing out, not until she had located her husband and was safely sat down with him.

(Y/n) didn't know what to do with her hands so she stuck with rubbing at her bruised neck and using her free hand to scale the wall and keep herself upright.

Her feet were bending and scuffing beneath her and her jelly legs were barely moving forward but at least her vision wasn't blurred anymore so she could see where she was going. It also meant that she could see the odd looks she gained from colleagues she passed and she adverted her eyes to the floor while she reached the end of the corridor and turned the corner.

Thank god James's office was close by.

Reaching his office struck a knife into her gut when she realised he could easily be examining, treating or consulting with a patient right now and therefore not be in his office. She would have to find someone to page him if he wasn't in and sit waiting in his office. Hopefully her minor wound wasn't extensive and would be fine if she waited a while for James.

Relief had never felt so good when she weakly tapped her knuckles on the door and heard a polite 'come in' from the other side.

"James, hun, it's me."

"Hi sweetheart. Did House actually let you leave on time?" James glanced at the watch strapped to his wrist before he glanced over at (Y/n) who quietly shut the door behind her before she walked over to him.

The smile on his face slowly started to fade when he took in her state; trembling limbs, unsteady steps, shallow breaths and blown pupils.

"Are you okay?" He turned his chair to the side when (Y/n) advanced towards him behind the desk and his eyes widened when she wasted no time in sitting down on his lap and curling her arms loosely around his neck. But it was the fact that she wasn't looking at him that put him on edge. That was, until his eyes raked over her face and noticed a large gash on the left side of her head that was oozing blood into her hair. "What happened?!"

His hands cupped her face in an instant and carefully turned her head to the side and tilted her chin down so he could get a better inspection of the wound.

"Sweetheart what happened?" His thumb brushed across her cheek but his eyes were focused intently on her head. It didn't look bad enough to require stitches, thankfully, but it still looked bad.

"House's patient had a psychotic episode. He caught me with the IV pole."

(Y/n) could feel the storm raging inside her head but when James went to touch the wound, she cried. Her fingers scratched into the back of his neck and her eyes screwed shut as she tried to compose herself and stay still so he could take a look.

"Christ, he took a good swing to do this… what else did he do?" His eyes scanned down (Y/n)'s face and stopped over her neck that was starting to bruise and turn a nasty shade.

"Nothing,"

"Yeah, that looks like nothing," There was a knowing look in his eyes and the way he pursed his lips told (Y/n) he wasn't going to push the subject but he wasn't happy about any of this either. He could easily see what had happened but if she wasn't talking about it then it wasn't something horrid or as bad as he would first assume. "I'll go grab something to patch you up."

He trailed his hands down her sides until they landed firmly on her hips and he gently manoeuvred her off his lap so he could stand up. There was nothing in his office he could use to clean the wound, he didn't usually have accidents in here and considering he worked in a hospital, there was no need for equipment in his office.

To (Y/n), it felt like James walked out the door and then straight back in again, she barely dropped her head into her hands before he was back in a flash. Maybe she did get a concussion; the whack must have been harder than she thought.

"(Y/n)… (Y/n)." James crouched down beside the desk and rubbed one hand over (Y/n)'s thigh while the other cupped her face and tilted her head to see if she had or was about to pass out. His voice was gentle but firm and (Y/n) managed a small groan as a response but she could feel herself smiling when his fingers moved to her pulse.

Her eyes followed his finger from left to right without him needing to tell her, she watched closely and continuously until he was satisfied she was able to focus and wasn't at risk of passing out.

"Can you stand, I need you on the couch?"

"Yeah," Her hands locked on his outstretched arms and she was grateful when he let her lean her weight onto him while he guided her over towards the couch beneath the window.

The relief washed over (Y/n) instantly when she sat down and let herself slump into the cushions. She wanted to tip her head back and go to sleep but she forced herself to keep her neck straight and her head up so James would be able to see what he was doing to patch her up. He sat on her left side, smiling when she reached across to hold his thigh.

"This will sting,"

(Y/n) tried to brace herself but just the feel of the cotton wool dabbing at her head made her go dizzy and sent her stomach reeling. She resorted to closing her eyes and squeezing James's leg until her nails were almost merged into his skin and her neck started to shake from how tense she held herself.

James was careful dabbing the antiseptic across the wound before he held some gauze gently to her head to stem the last of the blood. When he was certain the bleeding had stopped, he cleaned the rest of the blood from the side of her face and the little bits that had dribbled down into her hair.

"You don't need stitches thank God, give it ten minutes and I'll get you a cold compress. Do you feel sick?" He didn't dare put a compress on her head now in case it gave her shock or made her blackout. When he knew she had calmed down and relaxed, he would find a compress to stop any swelling and relieve a small amount of pain she must be feeling.

"A little,"

James briefly stood up and headed back to his desk to grab the small paper medicine pot and the paper cup of water he brought back with him. He took the liberty of stopping by the chemist on the way back up and grabbed some painkillers and something to reduce any swelling.

"Take these, they'll numb your head for a bit."

"Thank you,"

The cold water felt soothing on her sore throat that no doubt would be tender for the next few days but not as bad as her head was going to feel and she groaned just at the thought.

Once the tablets were washed down, (Y/n) slowly twisted round until she could lay down with the good side of her head resting on James's lap. She coiled her knees up to her stomach and took the liberty of grabbing his hand so she could bind his arm against her chest. It was soothing to feel his fingers raking through her hair and see him smiling gently down at her before she closed her eyes.

"Thanks for taking care of me."

"Always."

#james wilson #james wilson x reader #james wilson imagine #imagine #wilson x reader #gregory house #house md #alison cameron

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doylldonmagar · 5 months

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So I saw @hermesmyplatonicbeloved 's post and had some thoughts. I agree and disagree. I am a percabeth fan but I also know that some of it is screwy, and if you are familiar with my blog, you know this. I think RR screwed up and wrote out a LOT of trauma, I think he really should have dealt with that better. I think it's not good that he wrote trauma and mental issues and abuse into the foundation of many characters and then has ignored it when it became convenient for the plot.

I would love to see specific quotes and books for these because some of them I have no memory of and would like to revisit them.

I'm gonna talk my way through all of this so I'm gonna text break here

The first point is Percy scaring her to tears. I can only imagine in Tartarus? Like when they're both in their worst state? I don't know. I agree they should have talked about it, but I think they should have talked about all of HoH, which brings me back to saying: Rick really failed at dealing with trauma and processing and long term effects. Honestly, being scared *of* him, yeah I agree that's bad, but is that the situation? If she's scared by his power, then I'm not sure of where I stand on this, I don't know anyone with demigod powers, but I don't think I'd be scared simply because I know someone is capable of hurting me. Plenty of people are capable of hurting me. Like I don't know, what situation is this?

"Percy has been suicidal the whole time annabeth has known him, in BoO Percy attempts suicide and annabeth said nothing, noticed nothing" I'd really like a page or quote because i remember him being suicidal but never attempting. (Im rereading what i wrote, is this maybe referring to percy deciding it would be better if he drowned when hes with Jason? If so, I thought the book said annabeth wasn't told that he wanted to give up) But really my bigger issue with this statement is the fact that it's not necessarily a bad relationship just because a person doesn't realize someone is suicidal, or if their suicidal thoughts are fluctuating. If he's been suicidal the entire time she's known him, how should she know? And why is it the girlfriend's job to stop him from suicide? Like yeah she should care, but that's not her responsibility. No one should feel responsible for a significant other's suicide unless they encouraged the SO to do it.

The judo flip, I agree, annabeth should have been more sensitive to Percy's past and again, I blame Rick for conveniently forgetting that an abused kid is not going to laugh or even take well to being thrown on the ground. This also reminds me of a post I made a while back, because I was so frustrated by media portrayals of women getting upset (usually worried) about another character and shaking them or hitting them or using some form of violence, and that's portrayed as acceptable and normal and as a sign of love. I'm not a fan of that.

"Annabeth likes to keep percy on his toes" this point, I want specific quotes, cause I'd like to go over it again. I agree this is funky. Percy says he feels more comfortable with annabeth and feels like he can talk to her blah blah, but yeah, I think I remember him saying she makes him anxious and that's a problem for me. Like genuinely, to anyone who reads this: if your SO makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, nervous, or unsafe, please reevaluate your relationship and be safe. That's not good. And back to percabeth, I'm really not sure why RR would say that.

Bringing up abusive stepfather. If annabeth didn't already know about Gabe...I don't know, that says to me that percy was too traumatized to talk about it, in which case, why can annabeth see it in his actions, his comments, his reactions? I don't know that either. But I do know that having met my fair share of traumatized kids, it's not at all uncommon for them to share trauma as a joke and for multiple kids to laugh it off, not to mention suicidal jokes or jokes about their own abuse. Now I want to be clear, I'm not saying that's healthy, I think that's bad, but I also think it's common. And if annabeth doesn't realize what he's really talking about, or is caught up in her own experience, or is uncomfortable, laughing is not an uncommon response. And I don't think that makes their relationship toxic. (And I'm saying it again: I think Rick wrote that so that people could say oh poor percy and feel strongly about how horrible the situation is, but he didn't want to get into the trauma, so by annabeth laughing it off, he can move on with the scene but include little details that show how bad tartarus is)

I don't remember any comments about poseiden, but I agree her interactions with Tyson are problematic. I have zero explanation or excuse, I really don't know what rick was thinking with that, unless it was maybe a way to signify how all halfbloods feel about monsters? (Now that I've said that, that kinda makes sense, if percy sees a monster who was his human friend, but everyone else just sees a monster who is just like the other monsters who have killed their siblings. But still. Annabeth saying he was gross was uncalled for, Rick could have said she was scared or concerned this was a trick or something, but disgust?)

I agree about Percy's unresolved trauma manifesting as fear of annabeth. I already commented on the judo flip, see comments above.

Percy absolutely has horrible self asteem. I'm not sure that's annabeths problem. Yeah she should support him in every way she can, but it's not her responsibility or anyone else's to make him feel better about himself. She should want to, and she should be positive and encouraging, but I don't think Percy's lack of growth is her problem or necessarily a sign of a toxic relationship. It can be, but I'm not certain it is in this case. I think, as I'm sure you know if you've read this much, Rick doesn't know how to write characters who are further along in their trauma- processing, healing, discussing- rick fails to deal with anything besides a currently traumatized kid and a unresolved but out of the directly abusive situation. (This is where I'd like to note, the whole seaweed brain thing, not funny to me, not cute. I'm not a fan because I do think that encourages negative self image. I am aware that that could be link to annabeths childhood, but again, I would expect her to be hyperaware of this sort of emotional abuse. And I blame Rick. Why does she never have her actual abuse mentioned?)

I don't recall annabeth pushing percy to choose between them. I would have said she had doubts about him still wanting to go to CA and he said that he regretted not being there for Estelle but didn't want to be without annabeth (which is kinda cute, kinda codependent to me, and I agree, codependency is not cute)

I would argue the last point "Percy has no interest in going to New Rome or University" is clearly false. In SoN (2nd book of HOO) Percy discovers there are full families living in New Rome, and how it's safe there, and he says multiple times that he wants that, how he remembers he had a girlfriend named annabeth and he wants her to be there and wants to be able to settle down *there*. And in ChaliceotG he's torn, because he does want to stay in New York for his mom and sister, but he really wants to be with annabeth and he loves new Rome. He says multiple times how he wants to go to New Rome. Its true, if the only reason he wants to go is for annabeth, that's a bit funky. But new Rome is the safest place for demigods, and he's been in wars for years, of course he wants that. And wanting to be out of school- okay? New Rome isn't just about the university, not to mention the New Rome university is focused on kids with dyslexia and adhd, obviously. So it will be tailored to him, his struggles are understood, accepted, and aided. Who wouldn't see the appeal in that?

And finally, I agree, that if a character or couple is going to have broad reach, they should be healthy. That's a problem i have with Colleen hoover and all her toxic relationships that have a large audience and are so loved by that audience. And back to this, I hate that the pjo hoo couples are so focused on in the books because fans always pay attention to the couples, but the focus amplifies them, and I think having a relationship be the main focus of a kids/teen/ya book sets up horrible mindsets, and idolizes relationships and all in all is not good for kids. Percabeth or not, healthy or not, I don't think the emphasis on relationships is good.

I might link some of my other posts that I mentioned or that address similar issues in the reblogs

#percy jackson abuse #pjo thoughts #pjo fandom #pjo series #pjo hoo toa #pjo #percy jackson thoughts #percy jackson #anti percabeth #percy jackon and the olympians

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adventuringblind · 10 months

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Hi I saw your requests are open you don’t have to write anything if you don’t want to but I had this idea and I wanted to share

I was thinking of meting Charles on Monaco maybe during Sumer break or something, and being a little homesick so he decides to take us to a bookstore (sorry I just like to rad a lot you can change the place) and just talking about like a book he likes and just sitting on the floor with him looking for something to read and getting romantic

Idk if it makes sense but thank you and have a nice day/night

Home is Where You Are

Charles leclerc x reader

Genre: fluff

Request: Yes! I hope you enjoy it, I thought the idea was super cute! I'm open for Max, Charles, Lando, Oscar, George, and Daniel. Also, up for poly fics if anyone is interested. (If you have too much love to go around, clap your hands)

Summary: living with Charles is a dream come true. Longing for home, though, can strike anyone. Good thing he's there to help you through it until you can find time to go visit.

Warnings: home sickness, straight fluff

Notes: written in second person. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated!

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feelings hurt if you ignor this, but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

You and Charles had been together for a while now. Managing to do some long distance when you couldn't travel with him.

Now you were engaged, and you said yes. Knowing you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.

You traveled more now. Finding yourself in different countries for the majority of the year. But you always went back home when you could. The family and familiarity bringing you comfort.

When Charles asked you to move in with him, you'd been happy. The two of you now completely together. Ready to share your lives with each other.

You were lucky you could take your job anywhere. The traveling often helping provide inspiration for your novel.

Charles made sure you felt comfortable in his, now yours as well, apartment. Making sure you had your favorite foods. He purchased an entire bookshelf just for you. He even stockpiled the apartment with soft blanket.

It was a dream come true for you.

You loved it. Waking up with Charles. Eating breakfast with him. Not having to FaceTime him to say goodnight for half the year.

When the summer break for formula 1 came around, you found yourself wanting to go back to your home country. You'd been back in Monaco for less than a week, but the days had you missing things you didn't realize you would.

You liked it in Monaco. It's your home now. But it didn't stop your mind from wandering back to the streets you grew up on. To your friends and family. The shops you frequented.

That's how Charles found you. Sitting at the table, staring into your cup of tea. Lost in the world of your subconscious.

"Mon Amour? Are you alright?"

His voice dragged out out of your thoughts. Your eyes dragging themselves to his face as he found a spot next to you.

He knew something was wrong. There was really no point in trying to lie when it was written all over your body.

You run your finger around the rim of your glass. Taking comfort in Charles nimble fingers running up and down your arm.

"Just a bit homesick, I guess." You confessed. Sighing at your relentless thoughts. Pulling your heart deeper into its sad state.

Charles hums in response. Considering what you'd said to him. "I think I know how to cheer you up." He smirks.

Charles couldn't take you back to your home country currently. You'd been working ridiculously hard, and he'd been busy doing sim work. He'd get you there soon, but for now, he'd settle for trying to get your mind off things.

An hour later, you were dressed and walking down the streets of Monaco. Nonclue where Charles was taking you. Just giggling as he held your hand and pulled you along with him. The two of you are making conversation about anything that pops into your heads.

Charles was basking in the warmth of your smile. So much so that he almost missed his intended destination. A little corner store with a vintage looking sign reading 'Nook's Books'.

"Here we are." He smiled and opened the door for you. A little bell rang to alert the owner that someone had entered.

Charles watched as your mouth opened in awe. Taking in the shelves lined top to bottom with books new and old. "I thought you might like it."

"Why did I never know about this?"

"It's hidden away, so those who don't know the city will have a harder time finding it. It's our own little corner of peace." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I was going to surprise you right before the wedding."

It didn't take long for you to grab Charles' hand and lead him down the rows of books.

You'd found many books that you liked and had picked a spot on the floor to look through them.

Charles couldn't help but admire you. On the floor surrounded by books. You looked adorable in his eyes.

He plopped down next to you and spread out his arms and legs. Inviting you without words to come rest your body against his. You happy oblige. Crawling into the safety of his arms.

You spent hours in the small store. Charles listening intently as you either talked about a book or read chapters from one.

The twobof you finally left when the store was about to close. Having spent so much time there that it was now dark outside. The streets illuminated with the orangey hue of lampposts.

Charles spun you around as you walked, Making you giggle. Completely unbothered by the nightlife of Monaco.

When you two made it to the outside of the apartment building, Charles pulled you into him.

"I know I can't get you back to your family right now, but are you feeling a bit better?"

"Yes, thank you, for everything." Your eyes met his soft gaze.

"No thanks needed. I was simply doing my job." He chuckled. Leaning in closer to you.

Finally, his lips landed on yours. A loving kiss shared between you two. But this time, when he kissed you, you knew Charles was your home.

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fairuzfan · 6 months

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im sure you probably get asked this a lot, but i have no idea what the whole deal with israel and palestine is

the only thing ive heard is from someone i overheard next to me in a lecture that palestine terrorists attacked israel or something but im starting to think im missing a lot of important context with that

Hi, thanks for sending this in. I've had this in my inbox for a while now because I feel like I didn't know where to start. There is this new crash course online that educates about history and information regarding Palestine's colonization and the history leading up to October 7th, 2023. I recommend taking a look at this resource first:

Generally, a quick rundown is that on October 7th, a group of resistance fighters launched a coordinates attack on the state of Israel and took some hostages back to Gaza. They had done this specifically because Gaza was experiencing a critical point on the 20 year seige the Israeli state imposed on them — even before this they were struggling to find clean water and their economy was severely damaged since their imports were calculated by the calorie by Israel. So they were starved and malnourished, many people with medical issues were not granted access to seek help outside of Gaza if they needed specialized care.

In 2018, Gazans had launched the "Great March Of Return" where they marched en masse to the militarized fence separating Gaza and "Israel." This was, by all accounts, a peaceful protest, though the Israeli government responded with brutal force, killing children as small as 2 years old and elderly people as old as about 80 years old.

This had gone on for a while in 2018, after every Friday prayer, and hundreds died. Even if they were not killed, a large number of them were critically wounded. There are many Palestinians disabled from bullet wounds, and the Israeli government purposefully does not allow them to seek treatment if they require it.

This, coupled with the estimation that Gaza would be absolutely unlivable in a couple years, caused an armed resistance to break out, which is what you hear with the "terrorists" attacking Israeli settlements. Now the reports of who killed Israeli civilians is widely argued, with many claiming that Hamas (some of the resistance fighters) did not kill the majority of Israeli casualties, like in this account from a survivor in which they described that the majority of deaths from the kibbutz were because of Israeli indiscriminate firing:

I can't say I totally understand what is going on now with the resistance fighters, but I know that Israel has tried, and failed, a number of times to invade gaza, always getting fended off by the resistance.

Now, gazans are suffering collective punishment where they are bombed indiscriminately in residential areas, hospitals, and schools, all under the excuse that there are "Hamas tunnels" they wish to destroy that lie under Gaza. They provide no evidence of this — they just claim it and drop the bombs. About 10,000 Palestinians have died from the bombing, many of them in pieces, about half of them children. They are also suffering an unprecedented siege where absolutely NO water, fuel, or food is allowed in Gaza (except for like 20 trucks one time) since October 7th. Gazans are reported to have completely run out of clean water. A vast majority of them are showing symptoms from drinking dirty water like vomiting and diarrhea. The water in Gaza does not work, so they are suffering from sanitation issues that will no doubt make the spread of disease proliferate.

I can go on about the issues the Gazans face, but you can scroll through my blog to learn more. Right now Gaza is suffering a humanitarian crisis and genocide. Palestinians in the west Bank are getting arrested en masse, tortured and humiliated by Israeli police and settlers. They are also getting shot randomly. Right now is the collective effort to completely erase Palestinians off the face of the earth, led by Israel and the United States, all for their own selfish interests.

Check out some posts here as well:

Please let me know if you have any questions about anything. Feel free to dm.

#palestine #gaza

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crazystargirl · 7 months

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hiiii! i saw you wanted some request so i got you! can i request a jack champion x reader where the two of them are on the avatar set just goofing off and being totally oblivious to their feelings for each other while everyone just ships them so hard thank youuuu i love your blog!!!!!!!

take one !

pairing ! - jack champion x reader

word count ! - 0.6k

a/n ! - BRO ANON ILYSM MY REQUESTS WERE LITERALLY A DRIED UP WELL BEFORE ( except for that rlly good smut request but idk how to write smut 😭 ) i also don't think i did this request justice since ive been writing it this whole week and im sick, stressed, and dealing with a lot of issues about friends and grades [ i'll add photos later ]

you basically grew up on the set of avatar the way of water with all the other younger cast members, who practically were family to you at this point

most people try not to play favorites with their friends but you did and tried your best not to reveal to everyone that your favorite was jack. everyone found out anyway even though you thought you were sneaky

but anyways that's not the point

you and jack were "the duo" on set and loved goofing off with each other even though some scenes took longer to film because of this, no one really minded since they all shipped you two

like c'mon you two were so oblivious to the "flirty" side if your friendship that you guys were basically a lost cause

so one day britain, trinity, and jamie decided something needed to happen like cmon the tension was becoming too unbearable

today you guys needed to film a scene where your character, spider, and the rest of the Sully kids were running around the forest before you guys find the recoms

this scene wouldn't have taken that long if it weren’t for you and Jack

you two were not taking anything seriously, stopping every five seconds because jack would trip you or you would push him into the set structure

and then when james would tell you guys what you needed to improve on the scene, you and jack would be playing roblox or scrolling through memes instead of listening

james had decided you two needed a break because you guys had filmed a lot already and you and jack were not helping get anymore done

so now you and jack were hunched over your phone where you kept making jack try on all these filters and you kept taking pictures for later

jamie came up behind you two and tapped you and jack on the shoulders that were closest to each other and since you guys were hunched over, you ended up kissing while trying to see who tapped you two

you both froze and quickly moved away from each other, embarrassed

you guys heard cheering behind you and looked to see the rest of the cast even the adults, clapping and cheering, while jamie stood laughing his head off

"im going to fucking kill you!" you yelled at jamie, getting up to chase him

"y/n! i need a dollar for the swear jar since you cursed!" trinity yelled, also laughing while you and jack were chasing jamie around

eventually jack tackled him since there was no way you would actually be able to tackle jamie because of the unfair height advantage

after jamie was on the ground, jack kept punching him, enough to slightly hurt but not enough to bruise while you held his legs down so he wouldn't kick jack

then you got the idea to steal jamie's phone and quickly took it from his pocket, tugging on jack's arm to tell him "let's go"

you guys ran into one of the storage closets no one uses and sat down, unlocking jamie's phone easily

"so you wanna talk about what happened there?" jack said, playing with your hair as you leaned your head on his chest, scrolling on jamie's phone

"mmmm no i rather not" you said, looking up and kissing him again

jack pulls you into his arms and you guys end up staying like that for the rest of the day, messing around on yours, jack's, or jamie's phone

and of course everyone knows damn well where yall are put who would want to ruin this sweet moment that they had been working on to push on you two?

taglist ! - @xyzstar, @gwenlore, @dizscreams, @kaesworldxx, @urmomcomsiimiamour, @nonniesworld, @chemtr4ilz, @abodyhasbeenfound, @phsychobanana

lmk if you want to be added/removed !

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x fem!reader #ethan landry x you #ethan landry fluff #ethan landry angst #jack champion #jack champion x reader #jack champion x you #jack champion fluff #jack champion x y/n #jack champion angst

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is-the-owl-video-cute · 3 months

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Hi!! i found your blog via looking through the falconry tag. I see you talk a lot about Ben Woodruff, a falconer from Utah. I want you to know that i’ve apprenticed with Ben Woodruff for years, and have worked extremely close with him for about a decade. Ben is not what he seems in person. Don’t let his charisma fool you, he’s an awful falconer who used to be great 20 years ago but has been black listed by many on the falconry scene in the state. he has killed dozens of birds, has shoddy paperwork, and his ego is what drives him to continually try to be relevant in the falconry community. i’d love to talk more in-depth with you about him if you’ll have me, but he was the worst sponsor i’ve ever had in falconry. he never took me out flying with my birds and encouraged illegal activities constantly. i was his close personal friend for years and defended him for a long time until he killed two eagle owls via neglect at a park i worked at with him and i finally had enough and cut all contact with him. even this past weekend i was at a falconry event that he continually broke the rules on. he makes decent educational content but i only have to speak up about him having “competent care” when i know he has anything but- his neglect has killed dozens of birds and im shocked he hasn’t lost his licensing forever with. he was recently fired from his educational job at Evermore Park because of improper licensing. He talked me into breaking the law so many times with my birds, i’m ashamed to say :/ i don’t practice falconry right now since he ruined it for me, but im hoping to get into it soon with a proper sponsor who actually practices what he preaches. ben is not that person.

my intention is to not put you down personally or make you feel bad, but rather to highlight ben as a charismatic and manipulative person. his educational content may be good but the person he truly is is far from what you see him put out on youtube. i’d love to talk more in depth if you’ll have me but if not, take care, keep chatting about birds and falconry!

Believe it or not, this is not the first message I have gotten about him in the past few weeks. It’s disheartening to hear, I was hoping he would be the one falconer one YouTube to not turn out to be a total bellend. I enjoyed some of his theories and historical anecdotes, and he does post legitimately good informational content on his channel. I had a bit of a funny feeling when his book said something about starling harnesses not being “politically correct” or perhaps it was “this trapping method is not for the easily offended”? Some weird phrasing like that which rubbed me the wrong way. I found myself watching fewer of his videos after I read that because it felt off, but I didn’t have anything else negative to say against him previously as I’ve never met him, so I didn’t really stop recommending his videos, just stopped posting his content unless prompted.

I’m going to say that my most sincere advice for you would be to find a sponsor who is not a white man. I have dealt with many falconers and I say with no exaggeration that every white man I have met in the sport has either been unethical with birds or abusive to people, not uncommonly both. Something about falconry attracts the most obnoxious men on the planet, the Trump variety typically, but the Andrew Tate variety isn’t exactly rare among them either.

Not to say every woman in falconry is a saint, I know more than a few who are just horrendous people all around, but usually you have better odds of a positive experience.

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kenthenugget · 22 days

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Dear Watcher....

This is going to be about the youtube channel Watcher and a recent video that they released earlier today, so if you dont watch the channel, or older content produced by Ryan, Shane and Steven at Buzzfeed, this is not going to make sense to you. This only going to be for those who are a fan of Watcher, or are fans of Buzzfeed Unsolved so if you are, that's great!

Earlier today, I got a video notifcation from the channel titled, "goodbye youtube", and it was definitely not something I wanted to see. There is a recent trend this year of youtubers retiring or taking a break this year and I was scared this was that scenario. And it kind of was but way worse. Basically, the guys over at Watcher are going to be posting on their new streaming service called....Watcher. And, no, it is not a late April Fools joke, that's actually what their doing. Initially, I was in a state of shock after I watched through the entire video. I, no joke, went through the 5 stages of grief upon viewing this announcement and was thrown through a loop to where I struggled to focus on sketching one of my comic pages. So much so that I actually made a deviant blog post about it the moment I finished watching the video (most of the content from this post will be copied and pasted from that blog so declaimer I guess). After having some time to absorb this information, I have to say that Im really disappointed with the guys over at Watcher. Like Im not mad to where Im completely done with their content but.......WHY!?

I think at this point in time that a lot of people, myself included, are burnout with the whole streaming boom we've had for the past 5 years in no part thanks to those greedy bastards at Disney....but thats another story. I miss the days when there were only 2 to 3 main streaming services and not 5 billion other services that you need to buy in order to watch a show you like that was on Netflix but it now locked behind a pay wall. Streaming services used by a novelty concept but are now not looked upon in the best light. So for the them to announce a streaming service now is definitely a bad look, especially because the content before was free to access. I feel like creators will always have an uphill battle when it comes to content that was initially free being locked behind a paywall, because you're potentially isolating your audience and bringing up the question of weather your audience if loyal enough to give you money to enjoy your content. Now, like I said, I love and respect the people at Watcher, but I dont know if I'm willing to take money out of my wallet to watch the next season of Ghost Files. Especially in this economy, where in some parts of the country a big mac now costs 20 fucking dollars, and with inflation going out of control.

Now its not like I don't understand why they're doing this. Ever since its founding in 2019, Watcher has always had troubles with money, with most of their shows not being profitable enough to make ends meet (I know that sounds bs because most of their vidoes get millions of views but this is coming from one of the founders Steven, in an update video from a while ago so idk, views probably mean jack shit in the grand scheme of things). And the fact that they started around the pandemic didn't help things either. Unlike Buzzfeed, Watcher is a much smaller company so any loss that happens is felt much more than if it was a larger one. In the video itself, they mentioned that most of their money came through youtube ads and sponsorships, which, while alright if you're an independent creator, may not be enough for a company. And then there's the fact that YouTube can remove or demonetize videos out of nowhere and for the dumbest reasons so its not a very stable sight to base your income off of. So I can understand why they felt moving on from YouTube was a good idea. But..........I think there were better ways of going about it than creating their own fucking streaming service. Like, in one of their update vidoes, they said most of their shows werent making ends meet so maybe cutting back on the production of said shows to make them not as expensive to produce would be a good solution. In their announcement vid, they talked about wanting to maintain their high production value for their shows without going under but (and I dont mean this to slight them) I dont think they understand why they popped off in the first place. For me, Im not watching Ghost Files or Mystery Files for high production value and fancy graphics, Im there for Ryan and Shane. Same reason I loved Buzzfeed Unsolved, which compared to those shows is much more bare bones. I get wanting to step up your production value from what you had at Buzzfeed but if you have budget out in certain places which would entail having a season that doesnt look as good as the previous season, that's completely fine. Im sure me and the rest of fans wouldn't have minded a downgrade because at the end of the day, the fancy sets and graphics are window dressing to why we're truly watching.

I also thinking letting us know ahead of time would've possibly softened the blow. Watcher is in a very interesting situation because there's a much closer relationship between them and their customer base as opposed to traditional companies. So they really could've been like "hey! We're thinking about having future content be on our own streaming service because doing business through YouTube is fucking us over. What do you guys think?". One explanation as to why they waited until now instead of a few months ago when this idea was sparked could've been because they knew they would get backlash and they were going ahead with the streaming service idea regardless of fan input, which might be the reason. But if that's the case, they probably would've had the comments and likes disabled from the start. Right before I started typing this, I checked the video to see if the comments were disabled and they are thankfully still there. Im someone who always wants to see the good in people (which is definitely a character flaw of mine and while defiently lead to me being at the end of an abusive relationship........another abusive relationship but lets not go there), so I think this might be the case of Ryan, Shane and Steven, thinking the streaming service was a good idea and not reading the room properly.

At this point, Im hoping that they dont do things that could make this situation 10 times worse: a) removing the existing content (Mystery Files, Puppet History, etc) off the youtube channel and having it on their streaming service. If you are going to have new seasons of those shows behind a paywall, at least have that content still up for those who want to support but cant purchase the service......b) respond to the critism in a negative way. I think things would be made worse if they lumped genuine fans who are concerned with the new direction with the trolls and haters, and double down on this new direction. Im hoping this situation ends up being a slip up that they can learn from and not being the beginning of the downfall of the Watcher gang. No joke, I think Ryan and Shane are the only youtubers who have avoided any sort of drama up to now. Youtubers I once respected over the years from Tobuscus to Leafyishere to H3H3 to Idubbz to even fucking Dream have all fell from grace in one way or another, and Im hoping the ghoul boys dont join that list....

#watcher #shane and ryan #ghoul boys #buzzfeed unsolved

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swollenbabyfat · 4 months

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so maybe this is too out there of a question but you seem to draw a lot so i was wondering.... how? asking from a place where I used to draw a ton but had a burnout from it that i don't think i ever really recovered from, now im barely drawing and i feel like my skills are decaying but i just can't get myself to draw, and when i do i can't make anything i like and i just get frustrated ): i want to draw, i still have that urge in me to draw but i just. can't. do you have any advice? if not you can just ignore this ask.

Hmm....I will try my best to give a few ideas to help! But ultimately, I don't have a lot of interest outside of drawing to be honest (to the point I can argue in the past it's been unhealthy), I think a lot of it has to do with being autistic and it being my special interest, and I've always had a pretty high stamina from it, so I'm kind of bad to be compared to in a way I think ^^;

A few things though

-I have projects I work on, even if loosely, basically at all times. I consider my characters stories projects, and do a lot of work surrounding them outside of art that fuels the art - such as making mood boards, writing and talking about them, making playlist, stuff like that.

-If I feel burnt out in one area of art, i.e. character illustrations, I try to do something different, such as background focused work, or doing something outside of what I would normally do, like collage.

-I'm a really big advocate for studies to get out of burn out, and it's most likely what I will do to get out of one myself. Switching mindsets keeps things from getting monotonous, and can put your brain into a different gear which makes it easier to be creative in what you want it to be. Timed figure drawings can also be fun once you break through the "oh god I'm shit at this" feelings when you first start doing them.

-Drawing for others can be really nice sometimes, whether it be through art trades or drawing shit for your loved ones. I tend to do the latter one the most when I feel burnt out from my own work, and like to talk about their oc's a lot anyways, so it's fun to get to know their characters more through art. I use to also do art parties with my friends and do things like switching canvases every ten minutes, all working on one prompt but doing our own thing, stuff like that. In a similar vein, sometimes asking your friends for prompts can be helpful, think of it as an assignment of sorts if that works for you!

-Figure out WHAT you want to draw before you sit down and draw it. There's a lot of different ways to do this, a lot of time if I feel stuck unable to do work I'll look for visual references and make a mood board, or think about themes I've been wanting to explore and ponder on that for some times, a lot of times pieces will sit in my head for a month or so before I actually tackle them. Sometimes I'll go to my inspiration blog and hit the random button a few times and take the images I get from that and try to build something with it. If you feel stuck on a certain part of a piece, break it down further by doing a study of what's getting you stuck (if it has to do with form, I suggest tracing said thing and then practice drawing it yourself afterwards).

Overall, please don't beat yourself up, artist go through cycles of growth and slumber and sometimes you just have to rest, especially if you have outside factors making it hard for you to focus on drawing. It takes a lot for art skills to degrade and even if it were to be the case there's a lot of beauty in picking back up a skill, and sometimes you can even learn it better the second time.

I hope any of this was helpful, I'm rooting for you!

#ask #burn out #art burn out #faq #long post

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megalony · 8 months

Text

Break Ins and Births

This is my first James Wilson imagine from House MD, any other House requests would be amazing. Any feedback would also be lovely.

Masterlist

Summary: (Based on a request) House let's himself into Wilson's home, not knowing his wife is in. The shock sends (Y/n) into early labour.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Something akin to a smile drifted onto House's face when he heard the successful click of the lock and when he jingled the door handle, it opened with ease.

He needed to get a key. Wilson had a key to his apartment for emergencies and mainly since he had stayed over a lot and never handed back the key. But House didn't have one to Wilson's house and that didn't seem fair. He couldn't come and check by on Wilson when he needed something or when he thought something was amiss. Instead, he had to resort to picking the lock when knocking wasn't sufficient enough and House was desperate.

"Wilson?" He shut the door behind him before he hobbled into the living room, looking round for his friend. He said he had this week off work from the hospital and House was getting desperate enough to visit him here at home for help.

His vicodin had run out.

If he didn't get another prescription supply soon, he would start to go into detox and it was not pretty. The amount of times he had detoxed over the years was unbelievable and House wasn't ready to go through that again and feel the imminent pain he would suffer.

He knew Wilson would give him something, he might give him something different than vicodin and a little less strong, but House needed something, anything to get him through the day.

He moved a few of the magazines from the coffee table, scattering them around to see if Wilson's prescription pad was hanging around here somewhere. No such luck, but then again, House wouldn't expect him to just leave it lying around here.

It would be up in his study.

"Wilson…" He called out again whilst peeking into the kitchen before he sighed and moved towards the stairs.

Why did Wilson's study have to be upstairs? Why did he have to have a house and not an apartment like House? Something on the ground floor that was easily accessible would be preferable to this.

It took a while and a lot of pain and effort for House to amble his way up the stairs, despite the searing agony it caused to bolt through his right leg. The pain would be worth it if he could get another dose of vicodin.

Which room was the study? House couldn't recall the last time he'd been upstairs in Wilson's house, it would only have been to use the toilet. Most of their hang outs apart from the hospital and the odd road trip was at House's apartment, not Wilson's house. The last time he was here probably would have been when Wilson invited him round after he and (Y/n) bought the house and newly moved in.

Taking a wild guess, House hobbled over to the second door on the right because he was sure the bathroom was the door on the left next to the stairs.

The door swung open with more force than House could comprehend, so much so that he stumbled forward into the room just as a scream hit his ears and a figure appeared in front of him.

Screaming, (Y/n) stumbled backwards when the door flung open at her just as she went to open it, causing her to fall back into the bedroom.

Oh God, someone was in the house. Someone had broken in, she had woken up at the wrong time. They were going to attack her and raid the house. What was she supposed to do?

Her hand held steadfast onto the door handle and it allowed her to ease herself down to the floor, landing with a thump on her bum. But when her wild eyes darted to look up ahead of her, another scream rattled through her chest and sent her reeling when something waved in front of her face.

He was going to hit her with a bat!

"What are you doing, you should be at work!"

Fire, rage and blind panic mingled together in (Y/n)'s blood as she blinked rapidly, trying to clear the tears away from her eyes and focus on the figure looming over her. It was House, cane in hand and a bewildered look in his deep blue eyes as if he was the one who had just walked in on a burgalry.

"House!" Letting go of the door, (Y/n) slammd her fist into the wood and bashed the door away until it flung back and hit the wall.

With her fingers tangled in her hair, (Y/n) bowed her head down and tried to breathe but each breath was high and shallow.

What the Hell was he doing in her home? How on Earth did he get in? She was sure her husband would have locked the door behind him this morning when he left. And if not, why didn't House have the manners to knock? He couldn't just walk into her home whenever it suited him and expect her to be out or perfectly fine with him wandering in and doing whatever he pleased.

"Why are you in my house? H-how did you get in?" (Y/n) choked through her words, still unable to catch a proper breath.

She dared to let her furious gaze fall upon her husband's friend and she was somewhat relieved to see guilt written across his face.

(Y/n) tilted her head back so she could look up at him properly but she moved her hand to rub across her stomach. The baby was doing summersaults from House's surprise visit. It didn't help that she hadn't felt well this morning, which was the reason why she wasn't at work where House clearly thought she should have been when he popped round.

"Looking for Wilson, where is he? And your front door isn't very secure, should probably get that looked at." House leaned into the wall and slouched a little so he could relax his leg and lean his weight onto his cane. If he even tried to sit down on the floor with (Y/n) he doubted either of them would be able to get back up.

"He's on call this week… you can't j-just wander in whenever you like, you prick."

"I need vicodin, where's his prescription pad? You need to take deep breaths or you'll go into shock."

(Y/n) tried to roll her eyes but it only made her head spin and she was starting to feel sick.

"I don't know, he doesn't bring it home every night. And what I don't need, is being frightened when I'm thirty-three weeks pregnant- oh, fuck." Closing her eyes, (Y/n) let her head flop forward and moved both her hands to cradle her stomach.

She didn't need any kind of shock or jump scares right now, not when she was so close to reaching the end of her term. House knew this, he was a dcotor, he was Wilson's best friend. He knew they'd been trying for months to get pregnant and he was the only one at the hospital who knew (Y/n) had a bad miscarriage last year. She didn't need him coming into her home and scaring her half to death thinking an intruder was going to hurt and rob her.

But she knew she couldn't blame him entirely, he didn't mean to scare her. He didn't think she would be here, he was looking for Wilson who was used to his antics and games and Wilson didn't scare easily. Not anymore.

"What?"

"You gave me a cramp."

With a sigh, House pushed off the wall and reached a hand down towards (Y/n), despite the glare she shot his way. He waited patiently, keeping his hand reached out until (Y/n) relented and took it as she moved onto her knees. they both knew he wouldn't be able to pull her up properly, not with his bad leg and having to lean half of his weight onto his cane.

But he didn't grumble or say a word when she pulled tightly on his hand, holding his arm with her free hand so she could manage to get up without pulling House down to the floor with her.

"Come on… I'll make you a cup of tea." It was the least he could do after unintentionally giving her a fright.

When she was steady on her feet, (Y/n) let go of his arm and adjusted her pyjama top before slowly walking out of the bedroom after him. It was a relief he always had to walk slow because right now, (Y/n) felt like her legs were made of jelly and she had the shakes rattling through her.

They were two steps away from the stairs when a horrid cramp tore through her lower stomach and sent her reeling. She reached out to steady herself on the banister so she didn't go crashing to the floor again and her upper half coiled over like a tightening spring until her chest was merged with her stomach.

"House…" His name tore from (Y/n)'s lips in a quiet, frail whisper followed by a guttural cry when they both looked down and a steady stream of water trickled down her legs.

Oh dear.

She could see the way he visibly paled like a fading image standing in front of her and he sighed as his shoulders slumped down, but it was the worry in his dusty blue eyes and the fear creeping onto his face that showed he cared. He could see what was happening and he already knew the worries that were rattling around in (Y/n)'s head when she started to cry.

"Where are your keys, I'll drive you to the hospital. And I'll page Wilson to meet us at reception."

House didn't have a car and he knew there was no way he could get (Y/n) on his motorbike with him to get her to the hospital. It was a small mercy that the hospital was so close to their home so he could use (Y/n)'s car to get her there. It would be better than calling and waiting for an ambulance. And if he paged Wilson he would be sure to get the message rather than try to ring his personal phone and risk it being locked in his office while he was with a patient.

"By the door… House, t-this is too early, I can't-"

"Hey, come on. You're a nurse, this doesn't mean labour, Wilson will have you on bed rest in the maternity ward for a week or more before you have this kid. Let's worry about getting you down those stairs."

He wrapped an arm around (Y/n)'s waist, letting her grab his shoulder instead of the banister before they shuffled somewhat awkwardly over to the stairs. This didn't mean (Y/n) was definitely in labour, if she was feeling contractions there were medicines that could stop them and prevent them for days or even weeks. She could be put on observation and bed rest and not have this baby today or tomorrow or for a few weeks. they would find out when they got to the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wilson leaned his forearms on the reception desk and arched his back out before he glanced his eyes over at the two files he had brought down with him. He had been on his way to go consult with a patient when he got a strange page from House.

Need you at reception now. Bring a wheelchair.

There was too much room for speculation and no room for understanding. What was he supposed to do with that? With House, it could mean anything, it could just be him wanting a consultation or wanting an excuse to get away from Cuddy and clinic duty. It could be an actual emergency or just a one off or House bringing in a new case.

All Wilson knew for sure was that if he ignored the page and went ahead to his consult, he wouldn't hear the end of it. And God forbid it was some kind of emergency, Wilson didn't want it playing on his conscience.

He had been waiting for nearly twenty minutes, stood like a lost patient at reception with his pager on the desk, his phone in his pocket and a wheelchair at his side.

Every now and then he glanced at the receptionist and tried to smile but he knew his presence was unnerving her. She had given up asking him if he wanted something or what he was waiting for when he just said House or 'I don't know'.

"James!"

His head snapped to the right and as quick as lightning he pushed himself off the desk and straightened up. He knew that voice anywhere; his wife. He didn't like the urgency in her voice or the hoarse catch in her throat. She sounded like she'd been crying, even just from that one word Wilson could detect the panic in her voice and it set him on edge.

The sight of (Y/n) and House hobbling into reception was something Wilson never thought he'd see in his life and it was something he did not like at all.

(Y/n), his girl, almost falling on her knees with one arm around House's shoulders like a viper and her other arm cradling her stomach. She was wearing her pyjamas that were riddled with sweat and slightly skewed and scrunched up. Her hair was falling out of her ponytail and sticking to her sweat-ridden skin. But it was her expression that broke his heart completely.

She had been crying, a lot. In fact, she was still crying now, gasping for breath between sobs and Wilson knew she was having contractions when one rippled through her and jolted her down to her knees with a pained cry.

"James…" (Y/n) loosened her arm from around House who had been rather patient and understanding considering this wasn't his forte. He had calmed her down in the car, let her cry out when the contractions got worse and he timed them and talked her through it. He was practically carrying her into the hospital from the car despite his cane and limp and he didn't moan or squabble or complain once.

When she was kneeling on the floor, (Y/n) tried to take a deep breath but the moment James was crouched down in front of her, the waterworks got worse. Her arms deadlocked around his neck and she croaked and hiccuped into his shoulder, binding herself to him like glue.

It was comforting beyond relief to have his arms tightly wrapped around her and his lips pressed to the side of her head. She could feel the panic radiating through him and his heartbeat that was going wild.

Whatever House had said on his message, (Y/n) could see it hadn't been nearly as close to the truth as it should have been.

"What's happened?" Leaning back a little, Wilson moved to cup the side of (Y/n)'s face, brushing her hair away and swiping a few tears from her cheek and nose. He could deduce that she was going into labour, he noticed the vast amount of fluids on her shorts and between her legs to guess that her waters had broken. But he didn't know why.

This morning he had been called to come on shift since he had the on call phone and he knew (Y/n) wasn't feeling great when he left. She had a headache and felt under the weather, but other than that he knew she had been fine. Nothing had been wrong enough to suggest she would go into labour while he was away.

"House, what happened- did you call House?" Wilson looked back down at (Y/n) in his arms, trying to get her to talk but all she could do was sniff and try to breathe.

"I stopped by your place, she had a shock so I brought her in."

"Why were you at my house? What does a shock mean?"

Wilson darted his eyes to the side when he heard Cuddy's voice as she hurried from her office, diverting to grab the wheelchair when Wilson pointed over at it. In his rush to get to his wife he didn't scoot it over with him.

"H-he let himself in, I thought h-he was a burglar… it hurts." Moving her head, (Y/n) tucked her face back into Wilson's shoulder as much for comfort as to hide away from prying eyes. She could see a crowd starting to form around them as Cuddy pushed through with the wheelchair and House stayed close but not quite touching any of them.

She could feel Wilson tensing against her and his fingers dug into her sides to try and stop himself from going into a rage.

He could handle House at the best of times, especially when everyone else had had enough of him and his antics, Wilson could cope with him and calm him down and reason with him. But he couldn't reason with him over this. He had let himself into Wilson's house and scared his wife so badly she was now in labour. That wasn't fair.

"Alright sweetheart, I'm gonna get you up on three okay? One, two, three."

Shifting around from his knees onto his feet, Wilson then slipped his arms up until they were hooked under (Y/n)'s arms and he carefully and slowly stood up, pulling (Y/n) along with him. He paid no mind to how deeply her nails were digging into his shoulders through his white coat but he couldn't help but focus on her pained cries that were seeping into his neck and making him shiver. She was trembling so badly in his arms that she could barely stand up until he took all of her weight onto his chest.

He carefully turned on his heels and twisted them around until (Y/n) was level with the wheelchair Cuddy was holding and he lowered her down. The relief was instant on (Y/n)'s face but as soon as she was sat down, her legs coiled up and her arms cocooned around her waist like she was trying to curl up into a ball.

The anger boiled up into rage in Wilson's eyes when he glanced over at House who limped over to them.

"I was looking for you, I needed a pill refill but I thought she'd be at work-"

"So you broke into my house and scared my wife into pre-term labour? Thanks."

"Come on, you think I did this on purpose-"

"I think you didn't consider anything but your addiction, House! You break into my house where my wife has every right to be and shock her and now she's in the hospital. Just… go." His hands balled into fists at his sides and his jaw locked so tightly that his teeth felt like they were going to break.

With a wave of his hand, he turned his back and took a step closer to (Y/n) to end the conversation. He could stand around and argue with House for hours over this but he didn't have that much time. He needed to look after (Y/n) rather than waste his time taking his much deserved anger out on House.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Have you been waiting here this whole time?" Wilson closed the door behind him and leaned his weight onto the door frame. He couldn't quite meet House's eyes when he looked over at him. It was Cuddy who had whispered that House was sitting outside and true to her word, here he was, cane discarded on the floor and tennis ball in hand to keep him occupied in the empty hall.

House took a moment to take in Wilson's state. He was usually always prestine and presentable when he was on shift- which he technically wasn't anymore. Now, he had shed his doctor's coat, unbuttoned his striped shirt, rolled the sleeves up well past his elbows and his hair was dishevelled. He looked the complete opposite of himself.

"How is she?"

"Undoubtedly in labour and almost fully dilated," Rubbing at his forehead, Wilson took a few deep breaths before he looked back over at his friend. "If you wanted vicodin why didn't you just call?"

"Tritter can get my phone records, I just needed a few to get me by and I thought you'd be home. I didn't know she wasn't at work, I wouldn't have gone in if I did."

"Normally I'd do something rash like shout at you or even hit you. But you're desperate and (Y/n) said it wasn't all your fault." He ran his fingers through his hair, too tired to let loose the rage he felt earlier that was slowly disappating now. "Just… try and think, House. This is my family, if she wasn't past thirty weeks we could of lost another baby."

He wasn't in the mood to argue, but he needed House to at least try and see things from his perspective.

He and (Y/n) had wanted a baby for months and then they lost one at five months last year. Wilson didn't know how he managed to pull (Y/n) back after that loss, she barely got through it and now they were in early labour. If (Y/n) hadn't been this far along and labour couldn't be prevented, they would have a big risk of losing the baby. At least being at thirty three weeks, they still had a big advantage.

"You don't have to stay, you know. It's still gonna be a while until you meet your godchild."

"I know,"

With a nod of his head, Wilson turned on his heels and headed back inside where Cuddy was sat at (Y/n)'s side. The dean of medicine was close to both Wilson and (Y/n) and she wanted to be some sort of help and be with them during this. Much like House, who had been named Godfather since the moment they found out about the pregnancy, wasn't ready to go yet.

He knew he didn't have to stay, he could head back to his office or go home since it wasn't his shift today. But he stayed seated outside the delivery room. He wasn't going anywhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tipping her head back, (Y/n) closed her eyes and tucked her face into the crook of Wilson's neck. Her hand reached up to cup his face when she felt him kissing the top of her head and his arm that was secured around her waist tightened and pulled her into his side.

She could barely breathe and every inch of her skin was flushed and covered in sweat and everything below her waist felt both torn and numb at the same time. She even felt pins and needles in her feet as if they were on fire despite the tingling numbness travelling down her legs.

"L-Lisa, are they alright?" (Y/n)'s voice was cracked and she could barely speak from how hoarse her throat was from sobbing and screaming. Her eyes followed Lisa as she moved from the end of the bed and walked up to their side.

It didn't take long for the dean of medicine to take over and for the midwife to take a step back. (Y/n) was a lot calmer with Lisa being in charge and delivering their baby than a midwife neither of them knew, considering they worked in the same hospital.

"She's perfect,"

Every part of (Y/n) that could shake started to shake violently when a small newborn was nestled into her chest. She was tiny, still curled up in the fetal position and she wasn't crying, only whimpering so quietly it was barely there, but it was music to their ears.

She placed a shaking hand on the newborn's back and kept her other hand brushing across Wilson's face and she could feel the tears he was shedding. His free hand came up to cradle the back of their daughter's head while Cuddy leaned over to clamp and clip the unbilical cord.

"Would you like to weigh her and get her cleaned up?" Cuddy gently paced a towel around the newborn before she looked over at Wilson to give him the honours. After all, he was a doctor and he knew exactly what he was doing, there was no one better to get her washed, weighed and into something warmer than her dad.

She barely fit in the crook of his elbow, that was how small and fragile she was. When her small hand curled around his index finger, Wilson let the tears cascade down his face.

"House?" Leaning out the door, Cuddy finished wiping her hands with a paper towel, smiling softly when she saw that he was still where they had left him in the afternoon. He hadn't budged an inch other than to sneak to the vending machine and back.

He sat up straighter when he took in her expression, but the warm smile glowing on her lips calmed down one of the raging nerves inside of him. Despite what he liked everyone to think, House did care. Not about many people, but Wilson and (Y/n) were part of his family, and he cared about them very much.

"Would you like to meet your Goddaughter?"

#james wilson #imagine #wilson x reader #james wilson x reader #james wilson imagine #wilson imagine #house md #gregory house #lisa cuddy #pregnant! reader

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jesterwriting · 7 months

Note

heyyy darling! A little birdie told me your requests were open, and I just binge readed all of your magnificent fanfics, could you do a oneshot with crocodile or mihawk (either one is fine, you can choose) with a sweet chubby husband(ftm) that always pamper him a lot? like, always bringing some tea for them, always giving massage after a hard day, and they just want to do the same to the reader, so they overstim them in the most delicious way possible in bed?

Just remember to take breaks and drink some water, writing is fun, but not when you are burned out, ok? xoxo

pairing: crocodile x ftm!reader

contents: reader has a tdick, its like three inches #endowed, oral (reader receiving), fingering, no use of pussy or cunt, sliiiight overstim, maybe a bit of a size kink

!! MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI !!

word count: .9k words

note: hi! okay so i chose crocodile because im more than a little obsessed with him. theres not a lot of overstimulation here, just a little hint of it towards the end, i hope thats alright. thank you so much for ur request i had sm fun writing it <33 you take care of yourself too, ya hear!

You took great pride in pampering your husband. He was a very busy man, always working, though he never neglected you. When he wasn’t showering you with gifts, he had you in his lap while he filled out paperwork, or, on the rare occasion, had you curled against his chest during a lazy morning. Crocodile took you out to fancy dinners, bought you the finest clothes, there was no expense that was too much, no time worth more than yours. It was only natural of you to return the favor.

Crocodile groaned so perfectly when your fingers dug into the knots in his upper back, slowly working through the kinks in his muscles. He hummed, appreciative, as you brought him a cup of his favorite tea between meetings. While most nights, the two of you went out to eat, if only because Crocodile enjoyed having you on his arm for everyone to see, your home cooked meals did not go unappreciated. Each bite was reverent, and you devoured his praise voraciously.

Even in the bedroom, you enjoyed focusing on your husband. You took him so well. Even as his huge cock threatened to nearly split you in two, you let him bottom out entirely inside of you. It took hours of prepping, his fingers scissoring you open, wringing orgasm after orgasm out of you until you were ready. Even when you were nothing but a boneless pile of mush, you insisted on taking all of him for as long as he wanted. There was never a night where the focus was solely on you. You were too good for him, Crocodile was certain of that. Not that he would ever let you go. Instead, he decided that he would pamper you. A night of pleasure, for you and you alone.

That was how you found yourself, naked and spread eagle on the bed. Before you married Crocodile, you always felt a little off about your body. It was too soft, too big, never perfect enough. Under Crocodile’s hungry gaze, you never felt so foolish.

“Tonight’s all about you, doll,” He hummed, running his hook from your chin, down your chest, and along your thigh. The cold metal left goosebumps in its wake. You squirmed slightly, the chill leaving you anticipatory.

He took his time getting ready, leaving you wondering what he had in store for you. As you watched him shrug off his coat and take off his rings one by one, you felt your dick twitch in interest. All it took was imagining his thick fingers filling you to get you hard. Crocodile’s eyes swept over you, amusement glinting in them as he watched you get excited over nothing. It was cute.

Like a predator, he stalked across the room toward you, barely giving you time to register when he grabbed you. You squealed when he hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, ass hanging in the air over the bed as he buried his face in your sex. He paid special attention to your cock, sucking on the engorged organ as you buried your fingers in his hair with a cry. Smirking against you, he slipped a finger between your folds to prod at your entrance.

“Please,” You said, barely able to process his tongue circling your dick, let alone focus on the digit threatening to slip inside you.

Crocodile’s hook was hard against your lower back as it held you aloft. He was always so careful with his prosthetic, having it long enough that it only cut someone if he wanted it to. And Crocodile never wanted to cut you, not unless you begged for it.

“Anything for you, pet.” With that, he slipped his middle finger inside you. Crocodile was a large man, especially in comparison to you, even a single finger felt like it was enough to fill you. Still, you wanted more. You thrust your hips upward, filling your husband's mouth with as much as your cock as you could. You only managed to grow three inches once you started testosterone, but you were prouder of those three inches more than anything in your life.

Crocodile worshiped your dick, pressing a chaste kiss to it before taking you fully in his mouth. You let out a wanton moan as his finger curled against that spot inside of you that made you see stars. A coiled knot grew in your gut, threatening to snap at any moment.

“F-Fuck, just like that.” You ground your sex against Crocodile’s face, the rhythm of your hips erratic as you chased your high. With the suction of his lips around your cock and a curl of his finger, your entire body tensed as you came around him. With your hand tangled in his hair, you jerked your pelvis forward, pushing yourself deeper inside of his mouth.

Crocodile smirked as your eyes fluttered shut and your chest heaved, trying to catch your breath. “I’m not done with you yet, doll.”

You barely had time to react before a second finger dipped inside you, his palm flat against your dick. A shockwave of pleasure coursed through your body as he stimulated the over sensitive bundle of nerves, slowly pistoning his fingers into your core.

“I won’t be done with you for a long time.”

#one piece x reader #sir crocodile x yn #sir crocodile x reader #sir crocodile x you #crocodile x reader #crocodile x yn #crocodile x you #.jesterwrites

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pebblysand · 9 months

Note

Heyyyy im dying for an update on castles!! Any hope of getting one soon?😭💗

hi anon! thanks for your message! the tl;dr answer to this is: no.

or, i don't know. maybe? sigh. it's just been a lot lately.

it's a funny one, you know? most of you will not remember this, but there used to be a time when i would share (maybe overshare - is that a word? i've always wondered why that is a word when it's your platform and your rules and people can just choose to ignore you) on tumblr. not just about fics and writing and peaky blinders, but also about me. the stuff i felt. the stuff that was going on in my life. lots of things.

i grew up in an era of blogging and livejournal (seeing dreamwidth make a comeback lately is oh-so-bizarre, btw) where people opened up online - sometimes too much. this was before doxxing, before cancel culture, before it became dangerous to do so. people would complain about their jobs, their mates - the internet was an outlet. and, i don't know if it was better or worse, i'm not here to make value judgements and i've always thought people who say "things were better in my day" sound like absolute twats, but it was undoubtedly different. i've had this conversation with someone on discord lately, about the dreamwidth comeback actually, when this person said: 'people get real personal on there, though' and i was like: 'yeah, i suppose it's just the culture of the place.' a place where, unlike tumblr and everything that came after it, most of the content produced was through words, rather than images. when the internet was still made for writers and you weren't afraid of "clogging" someone's dash with posts that were too long to be digested in less than ten seconds.

the thing is: i like writing. it makes it easier to organise thoughts. and, up to 2020 (2021, even) i used to post monthly updates on my writing, but also about my life, for you. remember how i told you when i passed my bar exam? how i quit my job, found another job, and then another one. i told you about the boy and hinted at my break-up. i told you about how one of my best friends sank into a very toxic relationship, from which i couldn't save her. i told you when my dad died. it wasn't even that long ago. and, i explained to you that for these reasons, and maybe others, i didn't have a chapter out as early as i would have liked. and, you understood. you were kept up with what was going on. it was the pandemic and a different time.

but then, gradually (oh-so-quickly and oh-so-slowly), "you" became "many." i like that word - "many" - it's what my hairdresser said the first time she cut my hair: "they are very fine, but there are very, very, many of them." i suppose that between the first chapter of castles and the latest, my follower count grew into the hundreds and i got - well, scared. scared to share: what i thought, why i wasn't posting, how much or how little i was writing, how i was feeling. because there were too many of you. because i started to hold myself up to higher standards, too.

the truth is that no one wants to listen to anyone on the internet complain. it's not fun. and, specifically, no one wants to listen to fanfiction writers complain. why would they? why would they moan about how busy they are? about how creatively drained they might be? about how maintaining a healthy balance between real life, a job, and writing, is hard, if you do it seriously. because it's a hobby. because it's not "real" writing. because it doesn't matter.

well, anon, i'll tell you something. the voice in my head, it goes like this: why are you tired? it's just fanfiction. stop taking yourself and your little stupid story so seriously. stop thinking this is Important because you're writing about something you feel is important. no one cares. and: you only wrote 80,000 words last year, people write full-blown nanos in a month, calm down. it's not that bad, you don't have children. it's not that bad, you don't have dying parents. it's not that bad, you have money. you're a white cis privileged girl who can afford to spend her free time on writing because you don't have to work multiple paying jobs to foot the bills. so many people do. people who are much busier than you write a lot more than you do. shut up, what are you crying about? why are you responding to this poor anon with anything other than "soon, i hope." they weren't even mean about it.

and, i like the word "many" because it encompasses the realness of it, the repetition of it. many, many, many. it's less theoretical than "a lot". you can't say: a lot, a lot, a lot. it's morning as i write this, irish drizzle blown in by the wind against my window, thin droplets like static and i wonder: could i isolate thirty thousand? count up to thirty thousand little drops of rain against glass and imagine what that would look like as people. that's a small stadium, isn't it? and, it's also almost how many people have clicked on castles, in the past three years. it's also how many people, in my head, are telling me to just suck it up and write the next chapter. it's been a month already, hasn't it?

to tell you the truth, i still overshare with some people. there's a very small discord i'm on which is more like a group chat with my best internet friends. it's a lot of fun. and, i'm not going to tag them here for fear that you might come at them with pitchforks, but after i was explaining this to them, how exhausted and drained and lost i've been feeling lately, i had some, last week, tell me i should just give up castles. just stop, recharge, take care of myself. it's just a fic, it doesn't matter. let it go, you know?

so, yeah. you read that right, anon dearest. people who i really love, and trust, told me i should put your beloved on an indefinite hiatus and move on with my life. how's that for an update? and, they didn't say it in a "this is a bad fic and it's not worth continuing" kind of way, but in a "it's not worth working yourself into the ground" kind of way. in a "fanfiction is a hobby" kind of way.

i typically count years from september to august (i'm still in school, in my head, sue me) and this past one has been long and hard. for reasons that i won't explain because of the "very many" issue i mentioned above. for reasons that i also won't explain because as i also mentioned above, i can't help but always compare myself to people who have it worse. but, the fact of the matter is that whilst i'm not really asking for sympathy, i do want to say this, as i hope it will help provide a bit of context to how i'm feeling right now, in terms of writing.

anon dearest, i'm exhausted. i'm bored. i'm turning thirty in 24 days. i'm sick and tired of putting everything in my life on hold "until i finish castles". i would estimate that right now (and for the past three years) castles has eaten up about 75% of my free time. i think the first couple years, i didn't really mind. because it was the pandemic. because there wasn't much else i wanted to do. but now, when i see my friends, i try to schedule it on weekday evenings because i want to keep my weekends for writing. when i travel at the weekends, take holidays, do anything that will take me more than a couple hours, it's a compromise made against writing time. a compromise i often feel guilty about because it delays the next update and because ultimately, it delays the moment when i do finish castles. when i am able to move on to something else. move on with my life and also maybe another story of my own.

these past few months, i wrote almost every day from late march until last week because i knew i'd be going home to france in august and wouldn't be able to write there, so i needed to get ahead. everything in my life is planned around writing and updating and i'm a little bit burnt out, anon. it's typical summer me, nothing to really worry about, i felt the same last year (those who were already here will remember) but it doesn't make it suck less. and, that's why people are telling me to give up. because i keep getting stuck in this cycle of overworking myself, getting burnt out, taking a month off and diving back in again. it's fanfiction and it's a hobby and it's meant to be fun and it's just not fun anymore. it feels endless and draining and like a vampire eating my "good" years. time my mates are spending getting married and having children. and, even if i don't think that's what i want for myself, precisely, i still don't feel like the life i'm currently living is one i want to be living in five years' time.

i don't want to be exhausted. i don't want to be working all the time. this groundhog day of getting up, opening up my (work, or personal) laptop, deliveroo-ing my meals, working until 9:30 pm, and repeat. i have seven chapters left to go to the end, which will take 12 to 18 months, and i don't think i can go on like this for another year. i don't want to. something's gotta give: my IRL life, my job, or this "hobby", and it is logical (oh-so-logical) that it should be the latter.

and, yet. when my pocket friends suggested this, i came at them with pitchforks. i said: no. no, no, no, no. i can't give up. i don't want to give up. i love this story. it's unnerving and draining and exhausting, but haven't touched it for a week and i already miss it - it's crazy. and, it's true: it's not fun, but writing, to me, has never been "fun". it's: fulfilling, exhilarating, meaningful, it gives me the chills and a sense of peace but it's not "fun". i don't know who the fuck writes for "fun". you can enjoy things that aren't "fun", you know? i definitely do.

and, if i had to pick one thing to give up on that list, honestly, it would be my job - 100%. i'd finish castles in six months, if i could give that up. but, i can't, lovely anon. because fanfic doesn't pay. because writing doesn't pay. and whilst i do have a savings account that i intend to use someday to take time off to write, i don't think i could justify using it for anything other than original fiction. because at least, there would be a tiny bit of hope that the book might get picked up and i could make my money back. i can't, like, quit my job to write fanfiction, can i? even if i did set up a patreon, i doubt you all would want to fund me, lol.

so, i don't know. i don't know what to do, anon. i don't want to give up castles. realistically, i probably won't. realistically, i'm probably going to keep ploughing through and overworking myself and feeling like i'm throwing my youth and my free time away into this project that everyone will most likely forget the moment it is finished. right now, to answer your question, i have about 6,000 words on the new chapter. right now, i'm also taking august off writing. to recharge, to sleep, and only write if i feel like it. later? i don't know. i think i'm in a place where i've just got 30,000 words out in three months and i'm too brain-dead to think clearly. i am acutely aware that this issue doesn't have a solution (or at least one that i like) but i might be more willing to compromise my life again after a bit of rest and holidays.

anyway, sorry for being a debbie downer, anon. and sorry i don't have an update for you. i'm dying for one, too.

#asked and answered #castles #i might delete this later cause it's so depressing and it's not *me* but it's also how i feel right now #i just don't know what to do lads

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legacyshenanigans · 8 months

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Bare with me... I'm feeling the big sentimental

I can't express to you how much Marvolo means to me, the emotional connection I have to him I've never felt for another fictional character.

No matter what happening in my life I can just look at a photo of Volo and it physically heals me (my favourite ones are those where he is smiling)

Anytime I need to disassociate from my real life I come here, like when I thought that you left for good and won't be posting anything at all I have to literally sit and think what I would do to escape to someplace better. (but also thankfully you didn't delete the blog entirely)

I lost all my photos a while back god knows how... And one of the main reasons I was sobbing my eyes out at midnight was that I had so many photos of Marvolo and Rowan and I lost them all.

There aren't many places in real life where I feel safe... Your blog is one of the few where I do, feel safe to say the first thing that comes to my mind (even if they are mostly horny thoughts heh)

I feel like I have said so much yet I still want to say more...

The main thing is that you've felt safe since day 1 and I can count on my hands how many people in my life have made me feel that way

I can't see through the tears anymore so I'm going to end it here <33

Love you so much

Wolfy 🐺

I cannot fucking express right now how much this ask touched me. I swear to god, im speechless. 🥺

What lovely words to tell me, Wolfy 💕

I was never going to go forever in general, just from HL stuff.

Your support and love has been amazing, and I really appreciate it, like, A LOT 💜

I'm so happy that my little world helped you in some way, hearing that makes me smile. 💚

BIG love to you, Wolf, seriously ❤️🤍

Also,

I do remember at one point that I had said if I left the HL fandom, I'd be taking my blog with me.

I've since realised I don't want to do that because of the bond I have to this blog now and you guy's.

Tbh, the last few days was mainly me saying goodbye to HL side of things. Because I'm not going to be posting HL content anymore (aside from a few audio's that I may make to use up my 11labs letters, then after that, I won't be posting the HL stuff anymore. And at first I thought that was also going to include my OC stuff, i'm still on the fence about what I wanna do regarding content on my OC's, but i'm happy posting murder hubby pics for now, I will make some audio's of him too, I still don't know if its worth me writing anything currently, and I wanted to take a break from doing written posts anyway for the time being, I really don't know what I wanna do.

All I know is that RIGHT now, my heart is still VERY invested in my creation of Marvolo, and tbh, Rominis too (Ominis being the only HL character I still care about because of what i built with him and Rowan) so it's hard to decide what I want to do right now in regards to written posts. I've had so many people reach out and tell me to stay and JUST write Marvolo / OC stuff if that's what makes me happy, and I mean, they're right, I should just do whatever I want, but my brain isn't my friend at the moment.

I've got pictures to post, and those 11labs letters to use, I'm just kinda taking each day as it comes to see what I want to do.

I've also had people tell me my HL love might spark again when HL2 comes out, which let's be real, isn't going to be for a long time I reckon, but yeah, I'm going to keep this blog up definitely, and I'm still going to be around ❤️

Sorry to blabber on 😅

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my-autism-adhd-blog · 10 months

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hey i first and foremost love this blog! no matter who sends what you have information on the topic and i do appreciate that..

i know most people with autism are ok with being antisocial, but sometimes even online. as someone who had adhd and autism on the spectrum. my RSD goes bonkers sometimes and i get the feeling not even fellow autist like me.

i know life is shit. im going through alot myself. but i always chose social media to meet new likeminded people but lately especially where now everything is a popularity contest its hard not to meet someone whos indifferent or antisocial.

and in turn people that seem like they come on too strong for me.

is autism and social media a good match or am i just kidding myself? am i ever going to meet people i enjoy talking to and vise versa? 31 years and have been in and out of friendships online and irl. gained a good sense of self worth and positive outlook on life too. why do i feel singled out?

Hi there,

First and foremost, I do agree that life is shit.

I had to read this a few times to get the gist of all this.

I’m antisocial myself. I just like being alone all the time. I recently lost a friend from my childhood and I’m still struggling with it. We were t hanging out as much anyway.

I’m sure you can find a community out there somewhere. However, maybe taking some breaks from social media for a bit might help? I know I’ve taken some breaks before due to being overwhelmed.

I think the reason you feel isolated is because you’re different and have trouble socializing with others around you (at least I do). This isn’t a bad thing though, a lot of neurodivergent individuals feel the same way. The world just wasn’t built/adjusted for us. And that is upsetting.

I don’t even know what to talk about with anyone, especially strangers. I’m also afraid of bringing up my autism because I’m afraid people will start treating me weird.

I’m sorry for the long reply. It ended up being a ramble instead. I hope I at least said something helpful.

I appreciate the inbox. And I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is open

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sharpiedoodleee · 2 months

Text

hiiii so. i know im an art blog or whatever but this is something i was possessed to write a little bit ago thats been gathering dust in my drafts for a long while now. ive got a lot of half finished art wips that im not entirely sure im going to go back to so i thought youd enjoy Some kind of content

just dont get used to it, im not a writer :)

SSKK: feelings realisation, ffffluff (?)

= S I N N E R =

“you’re a mess”

“i am not a mess-“

“ryuu, i can tell you’ve been crying”

that makes him pause, faltering a step before tutting and looking off to the side. damned jinko and his tiger senses.

“before you ask i wasn't on about your- very obvious, by the way, you should work on that- about your breathing. although, it is really concerning-“

“jinko-“

“what? you wheeze on a good day akutagawa and you and i both know it”

ryuunosuke glares.

atsushu sighs, removing his hands from his hips and letting the reactionary tension bleed from his shoulders. this is getting him nowhere. he twirls his aching wrists, clenching and unclenching his hands in that way he knows akutagawa would normally snap at him for had he not be so busy trying to keep himself upright. he sighs again

“just-“ atsushi softens his tone, careful to keep the concern out of his voice “show me. where you’re injured.” at the scathing look akutagawa diegns him with, it seems he wasn't careful enough. atsushi clenches his jaw and breathes in through his nose. he never thought listening to kunikidas breathing excercises would come in handy for him - he likes to think hes a fairly calm person, but getting akutagawa to take care of himself would break even the most patient man.

he rolls his eyes “seriously, i could smell the blood on you before i could see you ,ryuu. im just really hoping its all yours”

ryuunosuke huffs a quiet “you’re such a bitch” that startles a incredulous laugh from atsushi. the tiger watches as the other man groans in defeat and lets himself sink to the floor; bracing against the brick behind him and clutching at his seemingly still bleeding side. if the weretiger is going to be so needlessly invasive he may as well rest, ryuunosuke muses, its not like the jinko hasnt seen him in worse conditions. he cringes away memories of a fleeting confession at sea, bleeding out infront of the detective again probably isnt the appropriate time to talk about it.

atsushi stops, squints, reassessing the mafioso “unless youve broken our promise-“

“alright- i messed up, jinko. is that what you wanted to hear? who knew you were such a fucking sadist-” he growls, annoyed now that the weretiger is still so untrusting of him “but i am not so imprudent as to keep my mistakes from you- seeing as that detective agency has finally taught you how to use that brain of yours” he doesnt bother to keep the bitterness out of his tone, they have both said and done much worse to each other after all. he leans back, ignoring his aching body’s protests and meets the weretigers now raised brow.

ryuunosuke sighs and goes lax against the wall, closing his eyes. fucking jinko…

“i have done a lot of shit in my life, jinko, but never once have i lied to you. i havent broken our promise and i wont. you should know this by now, you fool.”

the weretiger twitches, the name seemingly triggering something as his gaze slides off of ryuunosukes eyes and down to his neck. as the silence drags on the older opens his eyes, furrowing his brow as he takes in the jinkos frozen frame. His pupils are near pinpricks, jittering in the confides of his iris as his body is wracked with tremors. hes alarmingly silent, even as the tears overflow and begin to stream down his cheeks, even as his face contorts unattractively and his breathing speeds up. he wraps his arms around himself and ryuunosuke begrudgingly drags himself to his feet once again.

“…jinko?”

…

no response.

ryuunosuke blinks, the weretiger better not be fucking with him. he takes a tentative step forward, raising his palms placatingly from around his side and coiling rashomon around himself to hopefully keep his innards in, gods willing.

“atsushi…can you hear me?”

as he approaches he realises that atsushis now vacant gaze is still fixed to the wall ryuunosuke was sat against, seemingly caught on a ghost only he can see. hes yet to react to his aproach. doesnt seem to have noticed him move at all, really. and isnt that unusual? for someone who was just bitching about being able to hear every weary breath ryuunosuke took, the weretiger is alarmingly still. too struck by whatever horror his mind has conjured up this time to be aware of his surroundings, ryuunosuke imagines.

how the detective agency are still so seemingly oblivious to the weretigers plight ryuunosuke doesnt know.

but its not like he cares about the jinko.

…right?

shaking his head, the mafioso pushes that train of thought away and braces himself. if the jinko hadnt literally just been questioning his integrity as a partner he wouldve probably felt more guilty for what hes about to do, hes aware its horribly unorthodox. if his sibling knew of this they would surely have his head but its not like he has many options seeing as atsushi is near narcose. it may be brutish and harsh, even cruel to some,

but it works.

ryuunosuke taps the still quivering shoulder of the tiger and is unsuprised when that impassive gaze snaps to him with a mildly concerning crack of the jinkos neck. when that achingly familiar glow halos the alley in blue ryuunosuke sucks in a breathe and drops himself as low as he can to the sticky concrete below. his vision swims from the sudden movement and he can feel rashomon tighten her grip on his still bleeding wound, unsure if it was him who told her to or simply a byproduct of his coats concern.

he laughs deliriously. his coat is concerned but his supposed partner just tried to gut him? what a world he lives in…

gods, he hopes the tiger doesnt fancy a brawl in this tight, urine soaked alley. ryuunosuke is barely clinging to his conscious as it is.

when no second blow befalls his now prone body though, he chances a look up and immediately regrets it.

atsushi is staring at him now, his eyes glassy and overflowing with tears that smear his flushed face and nearly glitter in the dull light of the alley. hes clearly attempting to reaquaint himself with reality, stanced as he is over ryuunosukes unprotected form. his arm is still half raised from attacking him; cheap, flimsy shirt lifting to reveal smooth, tan skin…the mafioso laments over his own sickly figure as his eyes are glued to the rippling muscle hiding under there. a sheen of sweat is dripping down atsushis prominent hip bone that ryuunosuke wants to follow with his tongue. his eyes dragging down the shimmering silver happy trail he can just about see in the dying light of the alley.

…fuck.

ryuunosuke quickly looks back down at the floor, suddenly intent on examining the splatter of bird shit infront of him, lest his eyes rake any lower then they already have.

see, ryuunosukes not a fool. he knows he has…feelings to the tiger. it took a lot of reluctant, midnight rants with Gin to get there but he knows. the part of this thats blindsiding him is the all consuming, almost animalistic wave of desire this prediciment has sent careening through his bloodstream. its really not the time, but ryuunosukes never cared for things like that - you cant when you live a life like his. but that lack of practice at reeling himself in is really starting to kick him in the ass. the blood loss is not helping. rashomon is tacky from seeping up the evidence of his failure and ryuunosuke is just beginning to realise a lot of that moisture should be inside him. any remaining bloodflow is joyfully re-directing itself in a more unsavoury direction and ryuunosuke is increasingly glad hes laid himself flat on the concrete floor. his head is killing him.

throughout this whole process Atsushi is still just staring down at him, blinking rather aggressively as he processes what the fuck just happened.

…ryuunosukes really not sure how he manages to get himself in these situations.

#shin soukoku #sskk fic #tumblr fic #sskk #bungou stray dogs #bsd #atsushi nakajima #bsd sskk #akutagawa ryuunosuke #god i have to make a new tag dont i #sharpie writes #disgusting #i didnt mean to make ryuu so desperate btw it just happened #my guy does Not have enough blood in his system to deal with this #lmk if like tags or whatever need to be changed btw as i said i dont write so #am just a bab

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