#im always in need of inspiration or prompts

[starry-bi-sky]

i need to get this out of my head before i continue clone^2 but danny being the first batkid. Like, standard procedure stuff: his parents and sister die, danny ends up with Vlad Masters. He drags him along to stereotypical galas and stuff; Danny is not having a good time.

He ends up going to one of the Wayne Galas being hosted ever since elusive Bruce Wayne has returned to Gotham. Vlad is crowing about having this opportunity as he's been wanting to sink his claws into the company for a long while now. Danny is too busy grieving to care what he wants.

And like most Galas, once Vlad is done showing him off to the other socialites and the like, he disappears. Off to a dark corner, or to one of the many balconies; doesn't matter. There he runs into said star of the show, Bruce who is still young, has been Batman for at least a year at this point, but still getting used to all these damn people and socializing. He's stepped off to hide for a few minutes before stepping back into the shark tank.

And he runs into a kid with circles under his eyes and a dull gleam in them. Familiar, like looking into a mirror.

Danny tries to excuse himself, he hasn't stopped crying since his parents died and it's been months. He rubs his eyes and stands up, and stumbles over a half-hearted apology to Mister Wayne. Some of Vlad's etiquette lessons kicking in.

Bruce is awkward, but he softens. "That's alright, lad," he says, pulling up some of that Brucie Wayne confidence, "I was just coming out here to get some fresh air."

There's a little pressing; Bruce asks who he's here with, Danny says, voice quiet and grief-stricken, that he's with his godfather Vlad Masters. Bruce asks him if he knows where he is, and Danny tells him he does. Bruce offers to leave, Danny tells him to do whatever he wants.

It ends with Bruce staying, standing off to the side with Danny in silence. Neither of them say a word, and Danny eventually leaves first in that same silence.

Bruce looks into Vlad Masters after everything is over, his interest piqued. He finds news about him taking in Danny Fenton: he looks into Danny Fenton. He finds news articles about his parents' deaths, their occupations, everything he can get his hands on.

At the next gala, he sees Danny again. And he looks the same as ever: quiet like a ghost, just as pale, and full of grief. Bruce sits in silence with him again for nearly ten minutes before he strikes a conversation.

"Do you like to do anything?"

Nothing. Just silence.

Bruce isn't quite sure what to do: comfort is not his forte, and Danny doesn't know him. He's smart enough to know that. So he starts talking about other things; anything he can think of that Brucie Wayne might say, that also wasn't inappropriate for a kid to hear.

Danny says nothing the entire time, and is again the first to leave.

Bruce watches from a distance as he intercts with Vlad Masters; how Vlad Masters interacts with him. He doesn't like what he sees: Vlad Masters keeps a hand on Danny's shoulder like one would hold onto the collar of a dog. He parades him around like a trophy he won.

And there are moments, when someone gets too close or when someone tries to shake Danny's hand, of deep possessiveness that flints over Vlad Masters' eyes. Like a dragon guarding a horde.

He plays the act of doting godfather well: but Bruce knows a liar when he sees one. Like recognizes like.

Danny is dull-eyed and blank faced the entire time; he looks miserable.

So Bruce tries to host more parties; if only so that he can talk to Danny alone. Vlad seems all too happy to attend, toting Danny along like a ribbon, and on the dot every hour, Danny slips away to somewhere to hide. Bruce appears twenty minutes later.

"I was looking into your godfather's company," he says one night, trying to think of more things to say. Some nights all they do is sit in silence. "Some of my shareholders were thinking of partnering up--"

"Don't."

He stops. Danny hardly says a word to him, he doesn't even look at him -- he's sitting on the ground, his head in his knees. Like he's trying to hide from the world. But he's looking, blue eyes piercing up at Bruce.

Bruce tilts his head, practiced puppy-like. "Pardon?"

"Don't." Danny says, strongly. "Don't make any deals with Vlad."

It's the most words Danny's spoken to him, and there's a look in his eyes like a candle finding its spark. Something hard. Bruce presses further, "And why is that?"

The spark flutters, and flushes out. Danny blinks like he's coming out of a trance, and slumps back into himself. "Just don't."

Bruce stares at him, thoughtful, before looking away. "Alright. I won't."

And they fall back into silence.

Danny, when he leaves, turns to look at Bruce, "I mean it." He says; soft like he's telling a secret, "Don't make any deals with him. Don't be alone with him. Don't work with him."

He's scampered away before Bruce can question him further.

(He never planned on working with Vlad Masters and his company; he's done his research. He's seen the misfortune. But nothing ever leads back to him. There's no evidence of anything. But Danny knows something.)

At their next meeting, Danny starts the conversation. It's new, and it's welcomed. He says, cutting through their five minute quiet, that he likes stars. And he doesn't like that he can't see them in Gotham.

Bruce hums in interest, and Danny continues talking. It's as if floodgates had been opened, and as Bruce takes a sip of his wine, it tastes like victory.

("Tucker told me once--") ("Tucker?") ("Oh-- uh, one of my best friends. He's a tech geek. We haven't talked in a while.")

(Danny shut down in his grief -- his friends are worried, but can't reach him. When he goes back to the manor with Vlad, he fishes out his phone and sends them a message.)

(They are ecstatic to hear from him.)

It all culminates until one day, when Danny is leaving to go back inside, that Bruce speaks up. "You know," He says, leaning against the railing. "The manor has many rooms; plenty of space for a guest."

The implication there, hidden between the lines. And Danny is smart, he looks at Bruce with a sharp glean in his eyes, and he nods. "Good to know."

The next time they see each other, Danny has something in his hands. "Can you hold onto something for me?" He asks.

When Bruce agrees, Danny places a pearl into his palm. or, at least, it's something that looks like a pearl. Because it's cold to the touch; sinking into Bruce's white silk gloves with ease and shimmering like an opal. It moves a little as it settles into his hand, and the moves like its full of liquid.

Bruce has never seen anything like it before, but he does know this; it's not human. "What is it?" He asks, and Danny looks uncomfortable.

"I can't tell you that." He says, shifting on his foot like he's scared of someone seeing it. "But please be careful with it. Treat it like it's extremely fragile."

When Bruce gets home, he puts it in an empty ring box and hides the box in the cave. He tries researching into what it is. he can't find anything concrete.

Everything comes to a head one day when Danny appears at the manor's doorstep one evening, soaking wet in the rain, and bleeding from the side.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc prompt #man i just really need more dpdc stuff where danny and bruce have a good relationship. like man i NEED it. like i need to see these two #bonding together. and not in a cracky 'oh danny is a distant friend/cousin/etc' stuff but like. active participants in each other's lives #or as active as can be in this case. i neeeeed these two getting along and caring about one another #this idea came to me like last night and hasn't left since nd it was driving me up the wall to think about both positively and negatively b #i neeeded someone to hear about this or i was gonna implode #danny is the first son #tried to just get the general gist of the idea down but i definitely thought of the idea that bruce lowkey suspects vlad for having a hand #Vlad allows Danny to sneak off because he thinks Danny is alone. if he knew Bruce was there he'd be piiisssed and would put a stop to it #Sam and Tucker are alive they just got ghosted for a bit by danny bc he was in Major Grief and didn't wanna socialize. He couldn't go to #them because he didn't wanna put them in danger via Vlad. #oh that thing he handed Bruce? Yeah that's his ghost core. I have a headcanon (that isnt always applied) that ghosts can take their cores #out of their bodies at will and painlessly and without issue. and its common practice actually to do so bc they can be a not insignificant #distance away from said core before problems start to act up. and its common for ghosts to leave their physical cores at their lairs for #safekeeping because as long as the physical core is fine: so is the ghost. they can reform if their body gets destroyed. it also acts as a #fast travel sometimes. where they can reform at their core in an instant. its not inspired in the slightest by SU but i do see the overlap #most cores are pretty small for safety sake: its harder to hit if its small. and they're pr resilient too but its better to be safe than #sorry. so yeah. danny essentially gave bruce the physical embodiment of his soul and indirectly said #'if anything happens to me at least i'll be safe with you' #danny doesn't know he's batman btw #starry rambles. #was gonna go into danny becoming a vigilante beside bruce but im sleeeepy so i'll do that in a reblog. he's gonna go by nightingale if #anyone is interested. stereotypical but to be frank it is a *good* name imo. has a good amount of syllables and consonants to it #and the bird theme. and since its part of an ancestral name it has even more backing for it being bird-y without being meta

[awfcspencer]

You Are In Love || leah williamson x reader

leah williamson x reader

prompt: You recall three times when you knew Leah was the one for you

warnings: none, fluff fluff and more fluff honestly

a/n: what are we qualifying as a blurb and an imagine? possibly a blurb? im not sure man, but enjoy!

The time you spent together rambling on about random topics and subjects.

Talking to Leah was easy, she always made you feel completely comfortable. The both of you were able to talk for hours and hours, whether that be on text messages, calls, or even in person, conversations never seemed to stop flowing when you two were together. Leah and you had a lot in common and even shared the same sarcastic humor, so the quick clap backs and small talk came smoothly. You two were frequently caught chatting alone so often that it almost became annoying to your fellow friends, especially when you two would get so lost in your own worlds, together. One of your favorite activities with Leah was going to a local coffee shop and simply just talk. Time seemed to go quickly until when the barista had let you know that the cafe was closing in 15, and that is when you had realized you had been talking for hours, simply just enjoying one another and chatting. It was a pretty simple pleasure to you, but Leah had a way of capturing your attention with every word she spoke. In the middle of a conversation about the possible chance of a zombie apocalypse, you had a surreal moment where you simply just looked into Leah’s eyes as she spoke about how she would survive, and hearing her speak mesmerized you. When the conversations were lighthearted or not, Leah created a small little bubble around the two of you, and in that moment, it was just the two of you, chatting, like always. You knew you were in love with Leah.

The time you saw her with a baby.

Ever since you and Leah had became solid friends, you always tried to support her at her matches, whether it was Arsenal or England. You would be in the stands with your Williamson kit on and cheer extra loud for her. After each match, Leah always made sure to walk around the stadium and say her thanks to the fans and such. You had watched her make the lap maybe 25 times, the routine always the same. After Leah and her team had won the Euro’s, women’s football had been put on a higher profile and it was important for Leah to inspire a new generation of young girls. For this particular lap, a woman had offered Leah to hold her small baby. Watching Leah hold the baby girl and quietly coo at the small child pulled at your heart strings. Leah was soft with the little baby and particularly gentle and careful, a total 360 from her on-pitch characteristics. Leah had a wide grin on her face and loved every second of holding the small child. For you, your mind could only imagine what Leah would one day like with your children. Leah would always vow to be the ‘good cop’ and would absolutely spoil your kids rotten. You also imagine how lovely Leah would be if you were to pregnant, tending to your every need and being there with you ever step of the way. Once your baby had arrived, she would be showing them off like a prized trophy. You knew you were in love with Leah.

The time you spent cuddling in bed.

After long days, your safe haven was in your bed cuddled up with Leah. Leah’s strong muscular arms wrapped around your smaller body brought you comfort like no other. Her body was always warm and warmed you up in an instant. Leah’s scent of vanilla filled your nostrils and you were even able to smell hints of her strawberry shower gel. Her blonde locks sprayed along the pillows was like a picture out of a magazine, even in her pajamas, she was utter beautiful. Leah was always the big spoon and you were the designated little spoon, you two fit perfectly with each other. You could genuinely spend all day cuddling with Leah. There would be days where you would jokingly try to convince her to stay home from training and you stay home from work and spend all day in bed, she almost never took you up on the offer, but always made sure you knew how much she also enjoyed cuddling. On some days, you would wake up roughly five minutes early to longer enjoy some cuddles with Leah, which also meant you would get out of bed later than you wanted by trying to savor each second in bed. At night, Leah would rub small circles on your back and run her fingers through your hair, it felt like what you imagined heaven would be like. On some particular stressful days, she would massage your tense shoulders and back while whispering affirmations into your ear. You knew you were in love with Leah.

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso community #woso one shot #woso soccer #woso blurbs #woso #woso couples #awfc imagine #awfc x reader #awfc #leah williamson x you #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson one shot #arsenal wfc #arsenal women

[angelsheartts]

Hi!! I was wondering if I could request the “hope nobody will catch us!” prompt for Angel dust x gn! reader too? Thank you love!!❤️❤️

✩‧₊˚ I HOPE NOBODY CATCH US !! .

(but i kinda hope they catch us, anyways)

#pairing: angel dust, husk, velvette, lute x gn reader

#cw: suggestive content, +18 mdni, cuss words Imao, getting caught in suggestive situations ig?? adam being adam on lutes part, drunk sex?, kind of only fans on velvettes part ngl.

#notes: just got back from vacation, and i do feel kind of inspirational to write on my blog lmao, so here it is! second part of "i hope nobody catch us". did anyone noticed it’s the lyrics from les - childish gambino?

PART l

˖ ˚ ༘✶ ANGEL DUST .

well, it’s kind of ironic how angel dust would actually care if someone would see you both fucking, but it’s just because he actually wants to have something intimate with you, not just some porn video where you both need to act.

today, valentino had given your partner finally a day off, so you both decided it would be the best to spend it together.

as you both were cuddling in his bed, you somehow started teasing him by confessing how you watched one of his adult videos, and how much it had turned you, so it wasn’t a big surprise how you ended having him on top of you.

"that’s kinky for you to say, but keep going" angel dust said, smirking at you while already having your underwear aside "well, at first i saw how you went down on them, and-" suddenly fat nuggets was on the bed looking at you both.

yeah, so after seeing your kid staring at you both, it really made the atmosphere so not hot.

˖ ˚ ༘✶ HUSK .

i mean, husk, and you do have a pretty regular intimate life cause this man is sooo touch starved, but there’s something different about being drunk and intimate to him.

you knew you both had maybe a few more drinks than usually, but that wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?

wrong, as soon as you started to feel the alcohol doing its thing, you soon started to feel horny too.

but, who could judge you? seeing your bartender boyfriend also with the same flushed face as you was so hot, you somehow ended on top of the counter, while having your boyfriend kiss your neck.

"Oh, for fucks sake, and everyone says im the perverted one?"

yeah, hearing angel dust words made you both stop, but it didn’t make you stopped once you reached your bedroom.

˖ ˚ ༘✶ VELVETTE .

your girlfriend being a famous influencer in hell wasn’t something new to you, but as soon as you both started dating, you didn’t expect her to literally get sent sex toys for you both to try out and recommend or give your review about it.

your girlfriend was doing a live on her sinstagram, when you unexpectedly entered the room in the lingerie she just bought you just a few days ago.

of course, she had to end her livestream by saying a lame excuse to pamper your needs, and what the best way to do that with testing the vibrator who got sent to her for a review.

"velvette, ah- it‘s too much, i‘m going to cum" while sitting on her lap and putting your arms around her neck, you both suddenly heard velvettes phone vibrating like crazy, turns out she never ended her livestream and all hell just saw how needy you were for her.

after really ending the live, let’s just say that the vibrator you used got most-sold-sex-toy of the month.

˖ ˚ ༘✶ LUTE .

your girlfriend is somehow always occupied with something that isn’t you, so you might of have your ways to have her attention.

even though your girlfriend is an exterminator, you both sometimes ended up working together.

so, if dragging her near a closet to have her all for yourself was bad, then what you wanted to do in there with her would be worse.

"(name), it’s not appropriate, and adam is gonna be here anytime soon" lute said, staring at your face with her mask "yeah, yeah you say that every time, but you know how it always ends"

and yes, it was true, your girlfriend knew your true intentions when you dragged her into the closet, but still, she had a kinky side where she liked doing things you weren’t supposed to.

not to mention how hot you looked when you tried to be the dominant one.

"fuck, you're already so wet, huh? is it because you like getting me in trouble or because you want me to punish you?" she said, rubbing her fingers near your clit faster each time, "ah, lute-! keep going" "you’re a fucking mess, answer my questi-"

"DANGERTITS? bullshit, why the fuck didn’t i come sooner? legit thought you didn’t have sex, but you know what? this can get pretty awesome if i joi-“

adam did in fact not join you both, but he did make lute clear that "you both needed the original dick to even come" - adams words.

#hazbin hotel #angel dust x reader #hazbin hotel angel dust #husk x reader #husk hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel velvette #velvette x reader #hazbin hotel lute #lute x reader #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x reader

[strawberries-and-racing]

high for this - mv1 fluff + smut (part two of i wanna be yours)

pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader

a/n: im so proud to finallyyy post this and im so sorry to everyone who had to wait months and months for this but it's finally out and I hope you enjoy it🩷

requests that came together and inspired this series:

• nsfw prompts 9-13 (in pt. 2)

• 'listen up. Obsessive possessive crazy max for sweet innocent reader smut.'

• 'ok so we need dark FICS of any driver of your choice but make him very obsessive and possessive and don't forget the smut. Keep it up girlllll!!!'

taglist<3: @flucffyseven @avg-golden-retriever @pxppeypianotme@annewithaneofthegreengable @herefortheteadandthed @ananyasr1bughead @sp1cycurry @rhey-007 @larastark3107 @sarahedwards16 @bbeeth @lpab @yourneighbourhoodfriendlywitch @alwaysboredsworld @lexiecamposv @vellicora @depressedriches @snugbug@omgsuperstarg

summary: a date with max + smut <3 (part 2)

warnings: fluff, smut, choking, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), penetration, edging, overstimulation, begging, dirty talk, obsessive max, degradation and praise at the same time🤨

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

you and max's steps were perfectly in sync as you made your way down the streetlight lit sidewalk. the rest of the world fell away behind you as he captured all your attention.

you'd managed to let go of some of the nervousness that previously flooded your mind. the quietness of the night and the magnetic aura of the man beside you was calming.

you're holding his hand a little tighter than necessary, but you cant help it. your hand in his just felt so nice, so right.

you'd never felt that anyone had touched you with true passion. no one had touched you in the way that made you feel like your souls were colliding. and the feeling of max's hand left you craving more, made your legs weak.

"max," you look up at him.

"yeah?" he answers, meeting your gaze.

"when you drive—" you pause, wondering how to word the question youd been longing to ask. "—are you ever...scared?"

he raises his eyebrows, smiling a little.

"no, never."

"so, dying, it never crossed your mind while you're in the car?"

he presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek, considering your words.

"no, it doesn't. why?" he looks at you expectantly.

"i just, i dont know. i always think about that. it seems terrifying to me but it just doesn't seem to affect you." you fidget with your necklace.

"i guess... you just get used to it. i know its dangerous but, it doesnt really bother me because i know that im in control."

control was apparently something max liked quite a lot. you were slowly beginning to realize that.

"we're almost there" he says, something in his voice makes you shiver.

he tugs on your hand, leading you around a sharp corner.

you catch your breath, gasping softly. in front of you was a steep drop off that led to the river below. the glimmering lights of downtown stretched out ahead of you.

the sight was so breathtaking beautiful you couldnt tear your eyes away.

max however, wasn't interested in any of it. he had a much more interesting view right in beside of him.

your eyes were big and shining in awe, stray strands of hair littering your face. your mouth slightly open, your breathing deep and slow. the grip you had on maxs loosened slightly. you looked angelic, fragile.

if max could have his way he would have fucked you right there until you screamed so loud the others back at the restaurant would've heard.

but he supposed he could wait alittle longer before he pulled something like that.

"i—" you truly cant find the words. you slowly turn to look at max. you're struck by how handsome he looks in the dim light of the street lamps " thank you for..." your eyes flicker over his features "bringing me here."

you wished he would've kissed you, in fact you were desperate for it. but he didn't.

"anytime," he smiles, looking to at the sky, letting go of your hand and sitting down on the grass.

you sit next to him, leaning into him a little, you realized how tired you were. you rest your head on his shoulder.

the scent of your shampoo, your perfume, messed with his head. 

sitting there, with the moon and city lights brightening the night and stars twinkling over head, you would have fallen asleep. but at some point, max had started absent mindedly tracing patterns on your thigh.

the slow, careful motions of his fingers made you dizzy.

finally, after over an hour of you wrapped in maxs arms, sitting under the night sky, he nudged you softly.

"come on y/n," his voice is gentle as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. you were grateful the dim lighting hid your blush. "i'll take you home."

you nod sleepily. "ok," you sigh as he helps you stand up. he puts his arm around you once again as you make your way to his car, his bodyheat the perfect contrast to the night breeze that swirled around you.

"thanks again max, that was fun". you mumble. hearing you say his name like that, and while you were in such a vulnerable state made him swallow the emotions that simmered within him.

"im happy you liked it y/n,"

  °~•☆•♡•☆•~°

it's just before 9 in the morning as you make your way into hq. he's beside you before you even make it to the building. max seemed to have a knack for finding you.

you two being seen together had become a regular occurence. rumours were beginning to spark in the red bull team.

over the last few days, people had certainly began to notice that max had a special soft spot just for you.

it was impossible not to pick up on the way he looked at you, the way his gaze lingered. the way he found any excuse to talk to you, to touch you, to be around you.

he was constantly distracted by you. his demeanor always changing when you were around. you were the sun and he was captured in your orbit.

"hey mooi (beautiful)"

you recognize his voice immediately.

you laugh a little at the unfamiliar word. "what does that mean?"

max only smiles and shakes his head, chuckling to himself.

"nothing" he says, you brush the comment off.

"i was thinking, tonight i signed us up for a pottery class. i just remembered you saying something about it the other day."

you stop walking, turning to face him. he smiles when he sees the admiration and surprise that's written all over your face.

"it's at seven, if you're not busy."

it was so thoughtful, so sweet, so astonishing. max verstappen wanted to take you on a date. to a pottery class, because he heard you 'saying something about it the other day'. feelings wash over you. you're speechless.

you smile, warmth spreading across your body. "yes of course." you bite your lip. "that's so sweet of you max."

"well, i'll see you tonight then." his voice resonates across your whole body.

  °~•☆•♡•☆•~°

you spent the whole evening getting ready. you were too anxious to do anything else. the idea of going on a date with max verstappen had you jittery.

you wanted everything to be perfect. you relished the time you spent showering, doing your nails and your hair. putting on your makeup and your white dress.

you're ready early and you can't stand having nothing to do other than sit and wait, staring out the window expectantly.

finally, you see him pull up. the car is sexy but you know its not his nicest.

you rush out the door and down the stairs. you leave the building and meet him at the door.

"hey" he says, looking a bit surprised "i thought I had to—" gesturing to the doorbell. you smile looking away.

"i saw your car" you say, casually waving his concerns away.

"oh," the implication that you had been waiting for him fueled his confidence.

you make the short walk to the car together, the sun already low in the sky.

nerves twisted inside of you so tightly that you were surprised you could even walk. despite your nervousness, you could hardly hold back your smile.

you were so excited, there was no other way to put it.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

you didn't know someone could look so good driving until you were in the passenger seat next to max. one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the glove box.

the rev of the engine, his natural tendency to drive aggressively, to drive fast.

something about it. how controlling the car was so effortless for him, had you pressing your knees together.

"what made you want to do pottery?" he asks, bringing you back to the present.

you look at him. "i don't know," you admit "it seems relaxing, and i've been wanting to try something new."

"relaxing? it's always seemed stressful to me, having to shape the clay and everything," he glances at you, "messy too."

you both smile.

"yeah but that's part of it, and you get to wear an apron so it's no big deal."

it's not a long drive, and soon the little pottery place comes into view as he pulls into the mostly empty parking lot. the pottery studio is nestled between a coffee shop and a little book store. it seems like something you'd find in a tv show.

you take a deep breath, letting excitment replace your tense nerves.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

focusing on your own pottery proved to be extremely difficult. your eyes kept wandering over to max's hands.

he worked the clay with such careful precision and looked so goddamn good doing it. the fluid mouvments of his fingers, the concentration in his eyes.

it was sexy, and it was building that familiar tension and heat in your stomach that you always felt when you were around him.

even though it was his first time doing this, he looked confident, sure of himself.

as the class progressed, and handling the clay became more and more delicate, you were able to find some concentration.

your brows furrowing slightly, eyes narrow as you stared down at your pottery. suddenly, you feel max's knee bump against yours, your hand slips, messing up your work.

you turn to stare at him, mouth open and eyes wide in shock. he's staring back, eyes full of mischief and a smile plastered on his face.

"max!" you hiss, bumping his knee back.

"what?" he laughed, it was impossible to stay mad though and you found yourself laughing along with him.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

it was the last class of the day and the parking lot was amlost empty, the sun was barely clinging to the horizon. the two of you left the class together, you walk slowly next to him, talking about the class.

"i didn't expect there to me so many steps. i mean first we got the clay ready then hand to wet our hands and start the spinning thing and the technique i had to use to get it just right..."

you stared at him, smiling a little to yourself as he continued talking.

he was explaining more with his hands than his words. you'd heard jokes about this around the paddock and hq before: he was maxplaining.

but you didn't mind. you liked hearing him talk, the sound of his voice, the many emotions in his eyes.

you get to the car, but max isn't quite done talking. you wait patiently, smiling at him, listening to everything he has to say about the class until, "...so yeah, that's it." he shrugs.

"yeah i agree," you say, looking up at him, you're back towards the car. "it seems like you liked it."

"i loved it."

"then we should go again sometime," you suggest.

he nods, "we should."

his eyes flicker to your lips. it was so brief, so quick, you think that maybe you had imagined it.

"im so lucky i got to take you out," he says. your eyes widen. the sweetness of his words catches you off guard.

your heart beat faster and faster as max began to lean just a little closer to you.

you knew that once he kissed you that would be it, you would be his. that the visions of him wouldn't stop after that. that there would be no room in your emotions for anything but him.

blood rushed to your head, his blue eyes so close to yours.

and then he did it. he kissed you. you felt weak as his lips touched yours, reaching your hand out to touch him. your eyes were already firmly shut and you blossomed beneath his touch like a flower.

the feeling of his mouth against yours, warm and soft, sent once again a rush of helplessness and the familiar surge of heat which left you limp and leaning into his embrace. 

his insistent mouth was parting your hesitant lips, sending shivers through you. 

your only thought was him. max. you were acutely aware of every detail. his hand brushing over your hair, his other lightly cupping your cheek. his body pressing you gently against the car. the taste of his lips.

all of it swirled together in your mind like a dizzying haze.

finally, after what was a lifetime to you, he gently pulled away from you. as soon as he did so you felt something missing. to put it simply, his body against yours felt so right.

"come back with me." he says in a low voice.

you hesitate, carefully choosing what to do, what to say.

"i— yes," you nod. that's all you had to say and he was helping you into the car and pulling out if the parking lot.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

time passed in a strange way as you drove to the hotel. the seconds passed slowly but the minutes flew by.

the anticipation building in your stomach was making it difficult to maintain normal conversation with max. the tension was thick in the air, you tried to concentrate on the city lights whizzing by through the window.

'are you coming to the next race?'

his voice cuts through the silence and eases your nerves somewhat, but there's still a tight knot in your stomach.

'yeah i am, i can't wait.' he glances at you 'i mean i've heard so many good things about silverstone.'

'yeah the crowds are insane, the fans are so passionate you know?' he speaks in that voice he always has when he talks about racing, his words sound smooth and warm. 'even if they aren't too passionate about me.'

you both laugh, smiling at eachother.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

your legs are shaking slightly by the time you get to the hotel, anxious thoughts flooding your mind.

you fumble with your seat belt and the door for a minute before he helps you out, taking your hand and leading you up to his hotel room.

he pushes open the door. your jaw drops.

the hotel room is almost bigger than your apartment. it's so luxurious, you can't imagine max finding a use for all this space.

for a second, as you admire the room around you, you think maybe you could get used to this.

before you can continue the thought, you feel his hands on your hips, turning you around to face him. you reach your arms up, around his shoulders. you relish the butterflies in your stomach.

"that pottery class was perfect max." you say in a hushed voice "i really loved it."

he smiles softly, not breaking eye contact.

"im glad you had a good time."

he slowly brings his mouth to yours once again. he kisses you tenderly. softer then last time, more careful.

gradually, without taking his lips off yours he pushed you backwards, guiding you towards the bed and carefully pressing you into the matress.

his lips brush over your jaw, placing soft pecks along your jawline, teasing you with light touches of his lips to your skin.

the tension grows as he keeps marking g your neck with hickeys that will surely embarrass you tommorrow. but now, all you felt was restlessness. he’s so warm, so close to you.

his lips are hot again your skin. you squirm a little as his lips started to trial down to your exposed collarbone.

when he touched you like this it felt demanding, controlling, like you had no choice but to listen and do what he asked.

you were already becoming such a mess. the way you were so quick to melt in his hands made you feel a little embarrassed.

he continues to place his kisses, listening to your breathing, enjoying the sound of your heartbeat, the soft exhales and hums of satisfaction. he takes his time decorating your neck and chest as his own.

an involuntary gasp escaped you once he found that spot between your collar bone and your throat that had you squirming beneath him.

his mouth worked hickeys across your sensitive skin. he was everywhere and made you feel vulnerable.

he slowly made his way downwards to spread light kisses across your chest, brushing his lips softly over your breasts, making you shiver.

you bite your lip trying to hold back your moans, hands slightly tightening in his hair, barely resisting the immense urge to arch your back off the matress.

"let it out y/n," the sound of his voice clouded your mind. his words were a little deeper than usual, his accent thicker and incredibly hot. "let everyone hear you, let's make sure they know you're mine, yeah?" his words sent a rush of heat through you, all you could to was nod.

he continues working his way down your body, his fingers tracing down your stomach. his touch so feathery, so careful.

his hands fluttered over your stomach, tracing soft patterns across your skin.you shutter, your breathing shaky.

his fingers trailed up your thighs, barely even touching you, making anticipation curl in your stomach. a breathy moan escapes your lips.

his touch came closer and closer to your core, his pupils dilating as he took in the view right in front of him. you were dripping wetness, legs tensing slightly.

his fingers trace ever so lightly around the edges of your pussy. you couldnt take it any longer.

"max—" you moan softly, shutting your eyes momentarily. he smirks, looking up at you from between your legs.

"such pretty sounds, makes me want to wreck you." 

without hesitation he pushes your thighs apart a little further and licked a long stripe over your folds.

the unexpected stimulation makes you squirm, one of his hands finds your wrists and holds them above your head, forcing you to be still.

his tongue swirled over your clit, you had to shut your eyes. your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling his closer to your cunt as your head fell back.

"fuck," you whisper, max hums underneath you; the vibration makes you squirm. he rips another moan from your throat as his tongue rubs tight circles around your clit.

his forced your thighs apart even wider as his mouth continued to work.

max was impatient by this point, he just wanted his fingers inside of you. to feel your hot cunt clenching around him.

while you're writhing in pleasure underneath him all he can think about is taking advantage of your lovely body, taking control of your mind, ruining you for anyone else.

your fingers knot in his hair as his fingers rub over your g-spot, pulling him in and pushing him out at the same time.

every sweet moan from your lips inflating his ego as his fingers dig into you deeply and unforgivingly.

you let your back arch, moving your hips, desperately wanting to grind down onto his fingers as your orgasm built in your stomach. but his hand hands your hip and presses you back into the matress. he feels your pussy shudder around his fingers and he has to use all his strength to not pull his fingers out of you.

he would love nothing more than to see the look of desperation on your face, to hear you beg and plead for him to let you come. but he thought better of it, he decided that tonight was for you.

he shifts so that he's back on top of you, his thumb replacing his tongue on your clit and his mouth back on your neck.

"you wanna come don't you?"

you open your mouth to respond but before you can get the words out he curls his fingers inside of you, making you hiss, your fingers twist and grip the sheets.

"max—" you moan as he curls his fingers and scissors them, stretching you and making your eyes roll back.

"please" you whimpered.

you were so dangerously close to the edge, every thrust of his fingers nudging you closer to the tipping point.

finally, max let you come. one last impossibly deep thrust of his fingers and you were coming. moans falling from your lips, shutting your eyes in ecstasy.

his fingers gradually slowed as bliss rippled over you and your body trembled beneath his.

the sound of your heavy breathing filled the room as he gently pulled his fingers out of you, they're soaked in your cum.

without any thought or hesitation, he licks his fingers clean. the action was so casual, as if he'd done it a hundred times before, but it made your cunt ache for more of him.

you can't help but push your hips forwards a little and grind up and down the length of his cock.

he groans, his head falling and his hands once again coming to your hips to stop your mouvments.

"patience," he breathes, as his mouth once again finds your neck, his hands running across your body.

just as your breathing was beginning to steady, he runs the head of his cock over your folds, your cunt clenched around nothing, a million thoughts flood your mind.

he was so close to you in so many ways, almost inside you. his closeness helped your body relax, the warm tingling of your orgasm still lingering.

but the relaxation was short-lived as you realized: he doesn't know.

"max...?" your voice is bearly audible.

"mm hmm" max murmurs. he feels your body freeze up beneath him. he pulls away from your neck slightly to look at you.

you're blushing immensely and can't even meet his eyes. he's hit with realization before you even say anything.

"i've never—" you can barely get the words out, your voice a shy whisper. "i mean...it's my first time."

those four little words fuzzied his mind with a cloud of lust.

the fact that you were offering him something so precious, the fact that you were so pure, so untouched, that he would be the one to take your virginity affected every inch of him.

he brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes, his hand resting on your cheek. "dont worry, i'll take care of you" he says in a hushed voice.

his soft words were a stark contrast to his thoughts, all he could think about in that moment was fucking you stupid and corrupting your innocence.

but he didn't let it show. instead, he leaned down to kiss you.

“do you trust me?” his voice almost a whisper. his hands hold you by your waist, his eyes staring into yours.

you nod, eyes stinging with tears that threaten to spill over. emotions swirl inside you, you're unsure what you should be feeling. you swallow, trying to compose yourself.

"just... please be gentle" you murmur. max's lips press against your neck, you feel the vibration from a low sound in the back of his throat.

you sounded so painfully innocent, like you didn't really know what was going on.

he doesn't think you even know how your voice sounds. so soft, so sweet like your words are dipped in honey. everything about you was tearing him apart.

"breathe," he says.

you let out the breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. you moan instinctively at the stretch as you feel his cock entered you.

it was undescribable. you shut your eyes, tears running down your cheeks as the two of you slowly became one. it made your heart pound and your stomach twist, knowing that you couldn't be any closer than this, to know that he was inside of you.

max's groans set all of your sense on fire while he continues carefully pushing between your tight walls.

his head falls to your neck. your core is so hot, already pulsing with stimulation.

you shut your eyes, tears running down your cheeks, eyes stinging from the mix of emotions.

your tears only made max thrust into you deeper, struggling to keep his pace slow.

you were aware of every inch of his cock inside you, filling you up perfectly. you dug your nails into his arms as you adjusted to him.

you open your eyes, looking up at him. his usually blue eyes were consumed with darkness.

his slow but deep thrusts envoked sensations you never knew you were capable of feeling, making you moan softly.

he was the ocean, and you were drowning happily in him. you let his waves wash over you.

once he felt like you were ready for more he pulled away from you and without saying a word he guided your legs gently upwards so that you knees were by your head.

you don't protest, only whine at the lack of contact.

he continues to thrust into you, his pace faster than before. it takes everything you have not to scream.

you pushed your legs further apart, spreading yourself for max even more so that he could thrust into you so deeply that the head of his cock hit your cervix.

your nails dug into his back.

the sounds coming from your lips could only be describes as pornographic. skin slapping against skin was all you could hear.

his name was the only word you knew and it tumbled from your lips over and over. your eyes rolling back with each of his ruthless thrusts.

he pounded into you so hard the bed shook. your nails now scraping down his arms as you clung to him.

a new type pleasure bloomed in your stomach, different than anything you'd ever experienced.

"i feel...max...i think i'm gonna—"

as max looked down at your face, all the thoughts that ran through his head were how ruined you looked, corrupted, your innocence gone and all because of him.

how many nights had he lay awake thinking about how you sounded? how you looked when you came? countless.

he thought this must be what heaven was like, his fantasy finally coming true and unfolding before him. as you came, he's taking in your features like it was the first time he'd ever truly seen you.

your walls pulsate and clench around his cock mercilessly, your scream-like moans filling the room.

"fuck y/n" his voice is rough, his breathe heavy.

your body shook beneath him as he kept thrusting into you. the overstimulation was close to becoming painful.

finally, with one last deep thrust, he came inside you. his hands held onto you so tightly there would surely be bruises.

you squirmed as the primal pleasure of him filling you up completely clouded your brain.

after a minute of stillness, of comfortable silence, he pulled out of you. but of course, he wasn't done with you just yet.

you feel him start slowly fucking his cum back into you with him fingers, causing you to writhe in pain from the complete overstimulation.

"max, no no please i cant it's too much," you beg, trying to push his hand away, eyes tearing up.

despite the urges he had to keep fingering you, to hear more of your pretty pleads, he can tell your fucked out. that your body is completely spent. and so, seeing the desperate tears in your eyes, he lets you push him away.

instead, he pulls you to him and kisses you. his lips feel hot, and his mouth tells you everything he's feeling. he holds you, his arms shielding you from the world. there's nothing to say, so you say nothing.

after a minute he sits up, kisses you one last time, and gets dressed.

"i'll be right back," he says before walling into the bathroom.

you sit up, pulling the covers around you, your legs trembling. your body feels exhausted.

you hear the bath begin running. at first, you're confused, shocked even. max didnt strike you as the kind of guy who ran baths for you. but after a moment, contentment settles over you.

you swing your legs over the edge of the bed, and try to stand. but your legs are still shaking, your entire body worn out.

"max!" you call, holding yourself up by the bed, legs already threatening to give out.

"yeah?" he says, walking back into the bedroom.

"i can't walk." you say, looking away, embarrassed by your awkward position.

max smiles, and gently helps you stand up, before scooping you into his arms and taking you to the bathroom.

maybe you could get used to this.

°~•☆•♡•☆•~°

a/n: AHHH i worked on this for so long i hope you enjoyed <33333 do you guys want a part 3? 😏😏

#f1 #f1 imagines #f1 x reader #smut #prompts #smut request #max verstappen #request #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen smut #mv1 #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #formula 1 #max verstappen fluff #fluff #fanfic #verstappen #max #verstappen smut

[byuntrash101]

final lap

reader x dom!sunwoo

smut | nsfw | mdni

racer!sunwoo is kinda mean and big, thigh riding, dry humping, sir kink, orgasm control, orgasm denial, hair pulling, begging, edging, praising, impact play, humiliation, degradation (slut, whore, bitch in heat), a tad of self degradation, multiple orgasm, creampie, cum play,

requested | part of my 2023 prompts event [closed]

after a race there's only one thing that can ease sunwoo's nerves...

[❛ no ones here. we can be as loud as we want. ❜ + ❛ you can be rough. i can take it. ❜]

TUMBLR IS BASED ON REBLOGS. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK 🖤

a/n: this is inspired by this ✨glorious post✨ sunwoo graced us with. when i saw it knew i had to write racer!sunwoo. look at those thighs!! tell me im not the only one losing it for the thighs and veiny forearms!!

There was something about the speed that put Sunwoo in a sort of trance. Ever since he was a boy he aspired to be a racer. It was his calling.

And tonight after winning the race of a lifetime is not different. 

Even now sitting in the changing rooms, after the press conference, after being handed out the platinum cup he was still feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He still felt the strain that was put on his body with every abrupt acceleration. He still felt his body shifting through every single dangerous turn. It was like he was still on the track, swallowing laps after laps, until the last one. 

This was Sunwoo’s experience after every race. And after every race he found that one thing was bringing him back down, pulling his mind out of the haze.

A quick jerk off.

You knew that. You knew that he liked to catch a few minutes of peace after a race to blow off some steam. But now that you’ve been dating for a few months you figured that maybe you could help him out this time. 

When you knock on the door while your heart is hammering against your ribs. You don’t want to come across as annoying but maybe he really does enjoy doing it himself.

“Come in” you hear the voice of your boyfriend from the other side, annoyance tinting his voice.

“Ah it’s you” he says, surprised features relaxing slightly upon seeing you.

You sigh in relief when he seems to not be bothered by your visit. You lightly strut over to where he is sitting, your skirt lightly flowing around you. Somehow he seems embarrassed.

“Hmm…y/n” he starts off hesitantly. “I’m not… done… here” he says carefully.

Instantly your eyes shift down to his crotch. You try your best not to look too avidly at the veiny forearms resting so close to his bulge and failing miserably as your tongue swipes over your lower lip.

“Yes about that…I came to offer my help” you announce wearing a bright smile.

“That’s cute, baby but no, it’s ok you know I…”

You knew Sunwoo was going to need a little convincing so you thought of a plan. Your hands swiftly went under your skirt and without an ounce of hesitation you slid your baby blue panties down your legs, letting them pool at your ankles.

Sunwoo cut himself off as he watched the blue article of clothing fall to the ground and how your skirt scooted up your waist as you lifted your legs to step out of it. You were never this bold with him and he felt himself twitch at the thought of knowing that the only thing that was guarding your precious center from his eager eyes was this skimpy little skirt.

“Please Sunwoo” you pouted as you walked up to him. “Let me help you” you whined as you straddled one of his thighs repressing a moan when you felt the thick leather of his racing gear press against your unclothed folds. 

Sunwoo watched you in awe, completely silenced by this brand new side of you he had never known.

You started to rock your hips on his thigh, hissing at the pleasurable friction. While Sunwoo let his hand slip on your thigh, fingers firmly wrapped around it.

You were not suspecting that if you still had a secret for Sunwoo it was the same for him. The reason why he always isolated himself after a race was because he didn’t have it in him to be the tender and affectionate lover he normally was. The adrenaline changed his brain chemistry and turned him into something a lot more primal. Something you might be scared of.

And right now you were making it very difficult for him to hold it off.

“Fuckkkk” he cursed under his breath when he saw the glistening mess you were making on his leg. And you felt his muscles tighten underneath you, making you whimper. 

Sunwoo sunk his nails in your fleshy thighs as he heard you, only being able to guess how swollen and pretty your pussy was, the skirt still hiding you from him. But somehow that made him even more riled up. He wanted to rip it off you right now. 

“Sunwoo, please” you asked one more time, your hands landing on his bulge, palming it lightly but before you could unzip his pants he catched your wrist in his hand. His grip was strong, a lot stronger than usual. When you raised your eyes to look at him, his chest was rising and falling rapidly and his gaze was dark, raw lust pooling in his orbs, the burning desire contorting his face in an almost painful expression.

“Y/n don’t make this hard for me” he breathed out, deep voice shaking slightly. Trying his best to keep the monster at bay.

“It’s okay” you start, smiling back at him. “You can be rough, I can take it” you assure. Sunwoo’s eyes go round in surprise. Did you pick up on why he was acting the way he was? Did you pick up on the side of himself he was so badly trying to hide from you?

“Y/n… I-” his grip grew even tighter around your wrist.

“Please. Sunwoo. I can handle it”

This is the last straw for the racer. He won one battle today. Maybe he can give this one to you.

As soon as he gives up the atmosphere around him changes, the tension goes up a notch.

Sunwoo let go of your wrist to grab a fistfull of your hair, harshly pulling on it making your head fall back.

“Can you really handle me?” He hissed through gritted teeth while you felt his member twitch under your fingertips. Your breath is short, a hot wave of arousal rushing to your groin as you felt the delectable sting on your scalp.

“Yes sir” you reply in a mere whisper, your hips working themselves back on his thigh. Instinctively yearning for friction as your lust for him grew again.

Sunwoo smirked at the title. It was the first time you called him like that and he could see himself getting used to it very fast.

As you noticed Sunwoo’s change of attitude you started to rock yourself harder on his thighs. Making an even wetter mess.

“Good little whore” Sunwoo praised while his free hand went down to palm over his restricted bulge. Instantly your eyes snapped back down to avidly look at your boyfriend’s busy hand. But he tightens his grip around your hair, yanking it harshly to catch your attention.

“No.” he clicked his tongue. “Look at me. Look me in the eyes” he commanded and you obliged. “Show me how your slutty little cunt pulse on my thigh” he propped his chin to your skirt still resting over you, shielding you from his brown orbs.

Hesitantly you reached for the hem of your skirt and you slowly lift the thin fabric. Sunwoo’s smirk grows wider while his eyes take a darker tone, an evil glint lighting his gaze.

“What a good little slut” he praised in a low rumble, pressing harder on his cock, growling when he felt himself leaking precum for you.

“Come on harder” he ordered as he tensed his thigh again, hand leaving your hair to push on your hips, strong grip conducting each of your movements until your mind was only a hazy mess, mindlessly wrecking yourself on your boyfriend’s thigh.

“You gonna cum?”

“Yesss” you sing in bliss, feeling your lower stomach becoming tighter and tighter with the familiar build up. Sunwoo pressed harder on your hips while you moaned without restrain completely forgetting about the thin walls of the changing room.

“You gonna be a good girl?” he asked again, hands going softer on your side.

“Yessssss” you hissed, your release being within reach, your mind barely able to form the simple word.

“Then you’re not gonna cum” Sunwoo suddenly says and your half lidded eyes snap back to him. Your eyebrows meet on your forehead in need when you notice him being dead serious. “Only whores cum humping their boyfriend’s leg like a bitch in heat” his voice is cold, cutting, ruthless.

“Sunw- Sir… please” you whine, unable to stop the intoxicating back and forth.

“I said” he wraps both his hands around your narrow neck. “No” he firmly states. His hands barely press on your throat but the glacial eyes and the commanding tone is enough to bend your mind. You whine in defeat as your hips slowly come to a stop. Red, swollen and aching cunt visibly pulsating on the leather. 

Before you can even mourn the loss of your climax Sunwoo is back pulling at your hair.

“Up” he says, guiding you by the hair then pulling you down until you are on all fours. “Clean your mess” he shoves your face on the slimy puddle you left behind. You stick your tongue, gliding it over the smooth leather, ready to do anything for him. Completely fucked out your mind, you don’t think anymore only your body reacts.

In a matter of seconds you manage to completely erase any trace of the sinful thing you were doing moments ago, the taste of your own arousal making your head spin and your heart pound. 

“That’s my good girl” Sunwoo praised, drawing soothing circles on your heated cheeks. “Good girls get rewarded” he whispered as his gentle hand guided your face to his groin. You whimpered as you pressed your cheek to the concealed object of your desire. Your arousal dripping down your thighs.

“‘s that what you want baby”? his honey voice made your center quiver.

“Yess” you purred in bliss feeling the heat of his cock through the thick leather.

You heard him chuckle as his hand unzipped the racing pants. He shimmied them on his thigh and you saw the glorious print of his shaft under his gray briefs. You swallowed thickly, eager to finally lay eyes on him. He also pulled his underwear down revealing the thick member clapping against his stomach you lightly gasp in awe.

He lazily strokes it a couple times in his veiny fist while you watch in a trance.

Then he gets up and guides you to bend over the chair, both your knees on the cushion and your elbows resting to the back of it. With a flick of the wrist he flipped your skirt up your back to uncover your ass. He smacked his lips in anticipation while he guided his tip on your drenched folds. The hot tip glided smoothly over your already over sensitive clit. You held your breath while he teased you. Biting your lip to keep yourself from begging. 

“Such patience” he praised before you felt his large palm slap your ass cheek, the unexpected pain pulling a moan from your lips. 

“Want this cock baby?” he asked as he started to push himself in. 

“Yes please Sir” you politely ask, doing your best not to wiggle your hips to get him to fill you up faster. 

“Good girl” he moaned as he bottomed out. His tip perfectly pressing on your sweet spot with this angle. You hissed, your fingers curling around the back chair. “I’m going to fuck your brains out” he growled. And the promise made your stomach knot. 

He didn’t waste time to keep his word. He started to plow into you, pulling all the way out just to smash himself back in.

You started to squeal in pleasure as your cunt desperately held on to Sunwoo’s length rearranging your guts with every thrust.

“Good girl. That's it. Squeal for me” he grunted, strong grip bruising your hips. “No ones here. we can be as loud as we want.”

But everytime you grew closer to your release, every time he heard you go high pitched, every time he felt you pulse around him he would slow down, going down to a painfully slow rhythm. Thrusts merely teasing your eager walls as they pulsed and demanded more. 

It made his cock twitch inside you when he heard your desperate whimpers and your disappointed sighs. He loved to torture you. And he intended to toy with you just like this until you couldn’t take it anymore. Until you broke.

After what felt like hours you finally voiced out your frustration.

“Sir please” you started timidly.

“What baby?” he asked, his honeyed tone letting your ear the smirk that was spreading on his lips from behind you. “What’s wrong?” he fainted worry.

“Please…” you were out of breath, exhausted. “I want to cum” you sighed.

“Awww. Want? what an ugly word” he said as he completely stopped. Dick deep into you but completely still. Somehow this was even worse. You started to whine and wiggle your hips yearning for any kind of friction again, even the slow pace. You needed something, anything. 

“Please let me cum Sir” you pleaded, your voice trembling in need. When Sunwoo started to move slowly again a strangled moan escaped you.

“But baby only whores beg to cum like that” he says rubbing soothing circles over your ass as he picks up the pace ever so slightly, making your center quiver. “is that what you are?” 

You stayed silent, teeth sinking into your bottom lip while you tried to regain a semblance of sanity. But Sunwoo gave you one single violent thrust to keep you in your trance, earning a high pitched moan. 

“Are you a whore baby?” he repeated being as taunting as ever. 

And you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Yess” you shouted in defeat. “I’m a whore Sir. I’m your little dirty whore” you started to push your ass back and forth on his cock, Sunwoo didn’t stop you he enjoyed seeing you break. “Now please fuck me like the fucking slut I am.” you sobbed, completely giving in.

Without another word he went back to the brutal and exhilarating pace. You completely lost it, abandoning your body and mind to his cock. You moaned and screamed without restrain. 

“Cum. Now, slut” he ordered as he landed a couple more spanks on your red ass. 

And the pain rocketed you over the edge. Diving head first in the blissful abyss. Walls quivering on Sunwoo’s thick dick. Climaxing so deliciously as he came inside you, delivering thick ropes of white thick cum inside your needy little hole that was milking him to the last drop. 

As soon as he pulled out your legs gave out and you collapsed on the chair, gooey cum lazily dripping out your worn out and shapeless cunt. 

Sunwoo stroked your hair affectionately.

“You were right baby” he pressed a kiss on your hairline “you handled me perfectly”.

a/n: thank you for reading guys. feedback is soooo greatly appreciated if you enjoyed drop a comment or an ask. i wuv u <3

#sunwoo smut #tbz smut #the boyz smut #sunwoo #the boyz sunwoo #tbz sunwoo #kim sunwoo #sunwoo the boyz #sunwoo fic #sunwoo imagines #sunwoo x reader #the boyz fic #the boyz fanfic #sunwoo fanfic #sunwoo x you #the boyz x you #tbz x reader #tbz x you #sunwoo hard hours #kpop smut #kpop hard thoughts #kpop hard hours #kpop fanfic #kpop boys #kpop ff #kpop x you

[botboots]

Saw that your requests were open so what about TFP cons with an adorkable teen human reader? A really close friend (the emotional support bundle of joy™) that is really artistic, kind, understanding and just a pure cinnamon roll, what would be the bots reaction to the lil' human? Optimus, Ratchet,Bulkhead, Arcee, BB, and if you do the kids then the kids. If not the other bots, stay safe!

im back!! so sorry for the long ass wait, had so much going on in my life recently (graduating, going back home, etc.) but hopefully i'll be back to posting somewhat regularly! tysm for the continuous support :] love seeing the notifs pop up every day this is one of the first asks in my inbox (and i completely forgot that the prompt said reader was part of the cons... whoops) and i've wanted to get it done for a while now! have so many more to get through but will get them done eventually - this isn't the best but its cute <3 and you can 100% tell who my favs are lmao warnings: none word count: 939 (GN reader)

-----------------

Optimus:

he finds your outlook on things is a nice change of pace compared to the more pessimistic views that some members of the team can have at times

values your compassion greatly, often turning to you as a confidant over the time you’ve gotten to know each other. a mission went wrong and he’s putting all the blame on himself? you’re there to reassure him in a heartbeat, reminding him that he did his best and there’s always another chance; you keep him grounded

has an innate interest in art and writing - he used to be an archivist, after all

so he enjoys watching you indulge in your hobby, your excitement about it reminds him of his younger years of being a clerk at iacon when he would become giddy over a newfound archaic text

he’s very fond of you and makes sure you know it, taking note of the small things you like and getting you whatever little gift he can manage to find - genuinely thinks you’re cute and likes seeing you happy :] 

Ratchet:

while it may have taken him a little longer than the others to warm up to you fully, he grew to start looking forward to your company (despite his his best efforts to hide it)

he appreciates your quiet company; you’re much less rambunctious than both the other humans and his own team - you complain a lot less too, probably one of his favorite qualities about you

like optimus, your bubbly attitude gives him a much needed break from the dreary duties that come with being the autobot medic

you often find yourselves working in tandem, with you sitting on the couch working on your newest project while he stands at his terminal typing away. occasionally you’ll walk over with a nervous smile, and with a roll of his optics he’ll lower a servo for you to climb into and lift you up onto the corner of the console, huffing when you chirp a thank you before the both of you quietly return to your tasks (he enjoys it, really)

while he’s not one to vent his frustrations to you, he’ll always be open to listen to you vent about yours. even if he doesn’t respond with much, he’ll offer logical solutions and observations for whatever issue you’re having

Bulkhead:

the big guy loves art, having been exposed to his fair share of it by miko, and is very encouraging when it comes to your projects

he might not get some of the nuances or meanings of the things you make, but he tries - oftentimes making you laugh a bit at the sheer amount he misses. it’s endearing though, and you appreciate the effort

too fidgety to sit and watch you do anything for too long, but he’ll offer to drive you to a vista for some inspiration while he does his usual scouting routes, miko tagging along of course. she’ll probably bring her sketchbook with her and sit next to you and draw, chattering the entire time while blasting some music from her ipod, offering you one of her earbuds

Arcee:

similar to ratchet she takes a while to get used to you, a little cold at first to your attempts at friendliness

she notices how happy you seem to make everyone else and eventually makes a legitimate pass at being friendly despite how awkward it feels

but with how eagerly you accept it she doesn’t feel as bad, sighing in relief as you immediately start filling her in on how much you’ve enjoyed your time with the autobots

she’s not much of a conversationalist (especially when it comes to humans) so your chattiness is almost a relief - not having to keep up fake interest and energy with someone puts her in a more comfortable position; especially since you’re not one to comment on it like others tend to

will sit and watch you work on whatever your newest project is, a comfortable silence shared between the two of you

rambles about random stuff from her past sometimes - you turn out to be one of the few people she trusts enough to mindlessly dump her thoughts to, both good and bad

Bumblebee:

one of the first to get to know you, overly excited about having a fresh face around

super curious when he sees you working on something, a barrage of questions translated from mechanical chirps and whirrs with the help (and annoyance) of ratchet

he’ll actually try and mimic some of your art on the walls of hidden ditches where he and rafael hang out, excitedly bringing you along to show off his latest work and buzzing happily when you praise it

will eventually, with your encouragement, try and make something original - he ends up finding it pretty soothing and an easier way to feel understood; communicating his feelings without words can be unsurprisingly helpful for someone who can’t use any of his own

you’ll spend hours hanging out and working on your stuff - he likes when you help him with his own art, adding your own brushstrokes to the concrete wall

he’ll let you sit up on his shoulder just to watch him make whatever he feels like making, or even just taking you on joyrides in the desert where he doesnt need to worry about anything going wrong

while it’s usually you, him and raf hanging out he does enjoy spending solo time with you - usually in silence or one-sided conversations, but you understand each other well enough without words

will also figure out what your favorite songs are and surprise you with them; he loves when you get all giddy about literally anything

#NO LONGER DEAD!! #transformers #transformers x reader #transformers fanfiction #tf x reader #optimus prime x reader #ratchet x reader #bulkhead x reader #bumblebee x reader #arcee x reader #tfp x reader #transformers x human reader #tfp ratchet x reader #tfp optimus x reader

[atimeofyourlife]

Drenched in my pain again

Written for @steddiemicrofic

prompt: rest | rated:t | wc: 387 | cw: minor emetophobia | tags: Steve has chronic pain

Steve trying to push through an awful chronic pain flare-up, Eddie has to convince him to rest. Title from Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day.

Somehow, the migraines weren't the worst thing to come out of the hell Steve's body had been put through over the years of fighting the Upside Down. No, the worst thing was the pain. In his sides, his back, all of his joints, in the muscles and deep into the bones. Some days, he could ignore the pain, it staying at a low level that almost faded into the background. Most days, it was present, but at a manageable level. Over-the-counter painkillers, gentle stretching, and a swim in the heated pool being enough to ease the pain. And then there were the worst days. Less frequent, but always awful. Unable to move without wanting to scream in pain, any touch sending sharp, stabbing pains through his joints. Crying and throwing up with the pain when he inevitably pushed himself too far, beyond his body's limits.

Which is how he found himself on the floor behind the counter at Family Video, curling around the trash can. He'd felt how bad the pain was that morning, but knew he couldn't call out sick again. He'd taken too many sick days with migraines, and Keith was looking for any excuse to fire him. So he'd pushed through, picking Robin up on his way in. He tried to get on with the job, but everything made the pain worse, standing still, pacing, reshelving tapes, or perching on the stool behind the counter. There was no position that could ease the pain. Then Robin caught his arm as she reached past him, causing the pain to spike even further. Steve let out a strangled cry, dropping to his knees. Tears spilling over as he reached blindly for the trash can as his stomach rebelled.

Sometime later, Steve unable to say how long it had been, he became aware of someone's presence next to him.

"Stevie?" Eddie said softly.

"Eds, why're you here?" Steve mumbled.

"Robin called me, said you needed to go home and she didn't think you could drive. Is it a migraine?"

Steve shook his head.

"What hurts? Is it a bad pain day?"

"Everything hurts." Steve whimpered.

"Let's get you home to rest, okay?"

"But-"

"Baby, it's okay to rest when you're in pain. You don't want to make it worse."

"Okay." Steve agreed, desperate to stop the pain.

honestly, steve is me in this, the inspiration came from me currently being in the worst chronic pain flare up of my entire life. (i would love to say im exaggerating, but i have had broken bones that hurt less than whatever the fuck is going on in my joints right now.)

#steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie #steddie fic #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve harrington whump #steddiemicrofic #steddiemicroficnovember #atimeofyourwrites

[vminity21]

Destined | jjk

Pairing: actor!Jeongguk x female!reader, boyfriend!Taehyung x female!reader, f2l!au, school!au

Word Count: 25,530

Genre: smut, angst, fluff

Warning(s): unrequited love, mega-angst (im sorry), profanity, mention of an accident, dirty talk/jokes, smut, fingering, finger sucking, nipple play, m!dom, slight f!dom, clit play, oral (m + f receive), smutty kissing, probably some nipple play; Rated: 18+

Summary: You have had feelings for Jeon Jeongguk since you laid eyes on him. Through the stages of life he has engulfed your brain in ways you will never understand. His feelings for you bloom but a huge misunderstanding will leave you so broken, you don’t know what else to do other than run. You watch as Jeongguk’s dreams become a reality, and despite your new love interest, you never expected to be reconnected with the man who once captured your heart and is determined to find you again.

{Present Day}

Tears drip in warm trails off your cheeks when the click of the front door signifies the leaving of Taehyung. Admitting you are in love with someone else is already hard enough, but the pain of losing someone whom you thought would understand is more overwhelming than you could have possibly imagined. Conversation involving a famous talk show murmurs in the background, but the volume is not enough to drown out the sniffles now pressing onto the back of your hand while your entire frame shudders. Eventually, you plan to reach out to Tae in hopes of reconciling at least a friendship because it is what he deserves, and his heart is in the right place despite the pain you caused.

It is the face on the television screen that captured your heart for sixteen long years and the roller coaster of emotions encircling your chest tightens, producing a lump at the back of your throat as you swallow roughly. The movie premiere has officially been released, and the world has gone feral for the man seated before the interviewer who has asked questions the entire time as expected. But it was the words that the man said that confirmed what you needed to know, and when you froze with the remote almost slipping from your hand, you knew that you were still in love with him, and your now ex-boyfriend Kim Taehyung could tell in your eyes that there is no turning back.

There was a fight that prompted Taehyung to leave, but he was aware from vague communications that you and the actor in the interview had a history. A long history of almost unrequited love, or so you assumed, to reconnecting in the most unexpected way, but before things could get out of hand this time, you did approach Taehyung in a warning that maybe things weren’t meant to be, but he convinced you to stay because sometimes everybody goes through their spells of doubt. But, when it came to Jeon Jeongguk, there were never any doubts.

It’s him.

It was always him. And, when answering a question involving inspiration as to why Jeongguk chose the career path he is on- the words you had spoken to him back in high school were repeated, and your heart turned with the longing that never dimmed. You love Taehyung, and that was never a lie; he unknowingly helped you through a tremendous heartbreak that ultimately revealed to be a misunderstanding that still leaves you humiliated to reminisce upon. And even now, standing within the living room of your home, you no longer can take it; sauntering to the kitchen table, you scoop up your car keys, slipping on your shoes, there is only one destination in mind. Locking the door behind you, the crisp air of the evening that wafts along your face is a reminder of the tears still wanting to fall, and when your car roars to life, your vision adjusts past the tears, and you turn out of the driveway on a mission.

A mission to find some form of healing.

10 years earlier…

{14}

Sunshine reflects off the bleachers enough to cause your eyes to squint toward your notebook where you sketch enough doodles to realize you have not made a dent in your homework. How can you? The pang of a soccer ball bounces off a shoe into the air- kicked with intense force to cause your wandering eyes to view the anger now contorting the player’s expression. His lips stay in a firm pink line, but the dew from the earlier rain unexpectedly slips him onto his back while cocky laughter reverberates beyond the field. Heart turning with sadness, you remain hidden within your favorite spot, though even from a distance, you can see evidently that his feelings are hurt.

“C’mon, Jeongguk, you can’t make the team!” Kevin, the most raucous bully of the school clutches at his stomach overdramatically while his posse looms behind him. “You can barely make the tennis team! You’re in over your head, man,” and with that, they scurry off, shoving into each other’s shoulders as if they have accomplished the funniest gig when really, the most they have accomplished is the nausea rearing within your stomach. And, as much as you want to take a stand for the boy now swiping at his clothes, you shyly hold back continuing to seem hidden high up on the bleachers where he never seems to notice you exist.

Here is where you wait until your father comes to pick you up; unless it is overwhelmingly crowded, you tend to wander off in the opposite direction. You will hide within the room where the drama club meets to practice their lines. It may be halfway into your first year of high school, but you have successfully memorized every aspect of the school building, and while the memory dissipates, you cuddle your notebook to your chest when you watch the lanky kid spit out sentences of curse words before swinging his arm around in a mimic of punching someone.

Jeongguk is not the only one who has had his fair share of Kevin. It was elementary school when you first became acquainted with the two, and the memory still haunts you at times to this day:

“Piggy! Piggy! You’re a chubby piggy!” Kevin would, for lack of a better term, romantically sing to you, side stepping a full circle around you to where you would feel cornered. At eight years old, you were slightly on the chubby side though by nine years old you slimmed up, but on that particular day at eight years of age, Kevin took his demeaning banter too far pushing you severely to the limit. Jabbing a finger into your face, his snotty nose almost made you hurl on his brand-new sneakers.

“Shut up Kevin!” You warned whilst your stubby digits curled into your palms.

“Make me, four eyes!”

Glaring at him, you wished he would disappear as easily as a magic trick, and your fists remained glued to your sides while you fumed. Your stomach growled above the intense anxiety within your abdomen, and you were livid enough at this kid for interrupting your snack time. Tears gathered when you couldn’t find a swift comeback.

“Hey!” A young voice yelled. “That’s not very nice!”

Turning, you saw a dark-haired boy an inch or two taller than you with puffy, red cheeks and bright, brown eyes whose mouth pulled into a pucker once his eyebrows knitted together. Instinctively your mouth flew open as you gazed at your knight in shining armor.

“I don’t care!” Kevin blasted. “She’s a four-eyed pickle brain!”

That was it.

Slowly, you faced Kevin, the fire burning in your palms had never felt so real and before you could control yourself, you smacked him as hard as you could across his face. Kevin gasped in terror as he tumbled to the ground, crying dramatically once his hand pressed against his reddened cheek. Embarrassment washed over mingled with immense fear when you realized what you had done. Kids had been so busy enjoying their lunches throughout the picnic tables that they hadn’t noticed Kevin’s relentless sobs. Taking a step back, you lifted your hand to your mouth to stifle the triumphant smile wanting to grow at the sudden action. You smacked Kevin! The biggest bully you had ever known. Your palm and fingers were slightly pink from the aftermath and despite your heart ramming along your ribcage, you enjoyed that subtle sense of pride.

“What happened? Kevin, love, what happened?” The teacher ran quickly toward the tear-stained boy, bending down to rub his shoulder in an attempt to comfort. A blush crept its way to your ears as you watched the teacher lift the child to his feet. Already visualizing Kevin pointing an accusing finger toward you, you felt the ground being ripped from beneath your feet.

Kevin stuttered, hardly understanding a word he blubbered, “"She-he sma -ah-acked muh-muh-muh-me.”

“Is this true?” The teacher questioned, quite stunned to think a quiet student as yourself would ever do such a thing, but in the teacher’s defense, she was unaware of the turmoil Kevin continuously put you through. Frozen stiff, your eyes enlarged in evident fear, swallowing the lump in your throat trying to gather words, but had not had the chance to speak when someone unexpectedly spoke up on your behalf.

“I-I did it, Misses Kim.”

Those were not your words.

Those were from the little boy who feigned being ashamed as he locked his hands behind his back, staring at the ground. His bottom lip jutted out to add to the effect and all you could wonder was what this insane boy was doing. His eyes met yours for the first time when he raised his head, let me handle it, he pleaded with you before returning to Miss Kim. “He called me a bad word so I… I hit him.”

“Oh, Jeongguk.” Miss Kim sighed. “I am extremely disappointed in you.”

“Bu-But!” Kevin blurted, but the teacher continued.

“The two of you will have to see the principal. I’ll phone both of your parents as well,” she straightened her frame, leading the two boys toward the school while you remained sticker shocked. Jeongguk, head casted downward, slipped his small hands into his pockets, and to this day, you still could not believe the bravery he had. Jeongguk was your hero in that moment years ago and risked his school record for a girl who was verbally bullied by some petty kid who has nothing better to do than bring others down.

Jeongguk hadn’t known you that well back then and he still took the blame. In fact, that was the day nearly seven years ago when your heart leaped every time you would see him walking the hallways. He and Kevin were let off with a warning by the principal and you hoped that Jeongguk would become your friend after his stunt, but unfortunately, it had never happened and he was switched to a different class, so they could keep him, and Kevin separated to prevent further troubles if any were to happen. And as humiliating as it is to admit it, you remember crying when you discovered he wouldn’t be in your class for the rest of the year which kept you from ever being able to thank him for sticking up for you.

Now at fourteen, you watch him from a distance wishing life would bring him to you as it did when you were eight. Jeongguk, focused, kicks the soccer ball again where it soars into the goal, the net rebounding the ball back onto the ground. He stands in awe, breathing heavily as he bows forward to place his hands on his waist- hair swooping over his eyes, probably annoyed that Kevin isn’t there to witness the success. I believe in you, you want to whisper to the breeze hoping miraculously that your encouragement would reach him, but instead, you bite the corner of your lip nervously. Of course, Kevin is the current star of the soccer and tennis teams, and he is still the jerk you always knew him as. And, since it has been a solid seven years since the incident from elementary school, between the two boys it has been forgotten.

You jump when your phone buzzes harshly against the metal of the bleacher to see it is a text message from your dad of his arrival. From your peripheral vision, Jeongguk’s head shoots up to see you scrambling to compile your books into your backpack, eventually jogging to where your dad typically parks. Praying under your breath, you hope Jeongguk isn’t watching you, or finding you weird for sitting out there alone, or here you go overanalyzing absolutely any situation involving him… Again. Heart thudding in your temples, you hope the lad isn’t embarrassed if he were to think that you happened to witness the situation with Kevin earlier on the field. If only Jeongguk knew how much you want to support him.

Flinging the car door open, you roughly seat yourself inside.

“Whoa there, Kid. Someone’s in a hurry, eh?” Your dad’s deep voice greets you as he chuckles. Exasperation forms into a sigh, so you shut your eyes momentarily.

“Sorry dad, I just want to go home.”

“Alrighty then, but you’re okay though, right?”

“I am.” You promise in a murmur, shifting to face the window where the countryside zips past. Your father always knows when to let you have your time to yourself which is something you have always appreciated. Plus, you haven’t found the courage to talk to him when it comes to the topic involving boys. As protective as your father is, you know better than to bring it up.

Upon the arrival of home, a small house, fit for a family of three is nestled in a quiet suburban area where the neighbors respectfully tend to themselves and there’s hardly any space to run which you happen to not mind. To your pleasant surprise, your mother greets you and your father at the door. The smell of food wafts prompting your mouth to water.

“You’re home early!” You say cheerfully whilst your mom pecks the side of your forehead.

“A lot of staff today, so they sent me home.” She smiles as she turns to finish preparing dinner. Your parents have always been wonderful at conversation which you are highly grateful for, and once dinner is served, you help set the table before taking a seat across from your mother. Your father sits in the chair to your right. Each of you speak on how your days have gone which your parents enjoy hearing things are going well on your end. Though you normally tell your parents everything, especially your whereabouts when you’re hanging out with a friend, one thing they are not aware of is your distant crush on Jeon Jeongguk. At times, you almost confess to your mom, hoping she can give you some advice, but the other factor that comes into play is that you and he aren’t… friends really, just acquaintances which others may find bizarre as to why you are so infatuated with him. But you want nothing more than to be his friend if that’s all it takes.

"So,” your mother’s voice breaks the brief silence, dispersing any thoughts involving Jeongguk. “Now that you are finally in high school, you know, one step closer to being an adult…" She pauses. “Have you been thinking about colleges yet?" Mom stabs at her salad with her fork, the plate clinking beneath each jab. Pausing mid-chew, eyes wide, her question catching you off guard; you can feel your dad's stare as he remains silent.

"Well," you say reaching to take a sip of water. "I mean, it's a little too soon to tell right now… I think. Maybe." Stuttering, you nervously crumple a napkin in your hand.

When an excruciatingly few more minutes, pass with the same awkward silence, your mom chuckles. "I'm just messing with you. I’m not ready for my baby to grow up!"

"Oh, my goodness, mom, you scared me!" You reply in obvious relief noticing your dad's shoulders shake as he tries to contain his laughter. "She had you there for a minute."

When dinner is finished, after some more frilly laughter, you help with the dishes before running to your room. You shut the door behind you in anticipation for the warmth of your bed covers. It doesn’t take long to put on pajamas after brushing your teeth and once your frame tangles into the comforter, you feel better. The memory of the very first day of high school filling your mind until you drift to sleep.

{15}

Summer break always brings a loneliness that you dread especially in sleep when nothing, but the images of Jeongguk’s face haunt you in the sweetest way. How is it that a student, meaning you, counts down the days until they see their crush again? How is it that you actually enjoy being at school because it means Jeon Jeongguk? You get it. It’s not normal. It’s not normal for a teenager to beg for time to pass swiftly just to roam the halls of school again.

When you find yourself entering your first class to begin your second year of high school, your stomach flips immediately which increases your heart rate at the sight of Jeongguk. For the first time since children, you now share a class together which means you will see him up close every day versus a far distance between the bleachers and the field. Refraining from smiling giddily like the maniac you want to say you are, you bow your head as you find a seat to descend into. A seat that rests beside a girl with faded purple strands and kind eyes. She doesn’t seem familiar, so you figure she is new to the school.

Flitting your stare, you see the way a boy with dark hair gazes at the girl before taking his seat. At some point in a span of a few minutes, you learn that his name is Jimin, and her name is Monnie. Something about them makes you smile; it is as if they have a chemistry that is so obvious that even grown adults in established relationships would be envious of the bond they share. If only you could say that about Jeon Jeongguk… But that would require interacting with him. Which then requires bravery. And that is something you do not know how to collect without humiliation following close behind it.

Weeks pass further into the school year. The more you keep your ears alert, you tune into conversation between the new classmates as well as the whispers in the hallways involving them. Park Jimin is not only a fellow classmate of your first subject but started attending the drama club alongside Monnie. It is rumored that Jimin starred in a childhood movie that used to be popular. And if you heard correctly, Monnie was in the movie also which is how the two initially met. Jeongguk, who you have noticed has been adopted into their friend group, smiles widely at the couple and plants himself comfortably into the chair behind Jimin while they giggle about something you didn’t quite catch.

Trying not to gaze too long at the trio, you remember last week Jimin, and Monnie were trying to convince Jeongguk to join the drama club because he always had a passion for acting which is something new that you learned about him. Jeongguk seemed uncomfortable from what you gathered, but your heart bloomed with the hope that he would show up to the scheduled times the club usually meets. Would this be the year that he changes his mind? And why was he so nervous? If acting is his passion, why not give drama club a chance?

It is a typical Monday morning, one you did not anticipate, after organizing your wardrobe in the order of favorite outfits you plan to wear for the week. A strange urge to style your hair and paint on a bit of makeup surprises you, but you woke early enough to make it happen, and you throw on your first favorite outfit of the week. You feel oddly confident in yourself for reasons you haven’t quite figured out. Regardless, you roll with it. Is this a way to see if Jeongguk will notice you for once this morning?

Well, he doesn’t.

Maybe if you busy your mind with something else it will help. So, you do. Doodling along a piece of notebook paper shielded by your binder, you are tempted to write his initials within the hearts you’ve drawn but resist. With your luck, the teacher will catch you and read the drawings in front of the class. Then, your crush will be made known. A crush that he may dismiss or be confused by since neither of you talk. Sometimes, you just wish he simply knew you existed.

Drama Club becomes your primary focus once you near the end of your final class of the day. Mrs. Lee already passed the scripts for Romeo and Juliet last week for everyone to study. Today is the day she will have the students read their parts aloud. When the bell rings, you fumble through your backpack until your fingers grip the side of the play and as the anxiety starts to flutter within your stomach, you gulp.

The walk isn’t far, but your steps halt, tongue mutes, and sweat beads form along the line of your forehead the moment your gaze briefly meets the eyes of Jeon Jeongguk. He’s here!? In drama club? He decided to join after all!? Jimin who happens to be sat beside Jeongguk, nudges his shoulder to show him a funny video on his cellphone which disrupts you from your reverie. Did Jeongguk just catch you looking at him?

Your mouth feels dry at this point, and you hurriedly find a seat four chairs away from him to figure out how to steady your breathing. You thought you were anxious before, but the clammy feel of your palms on top of quivering fingers show that it escalated the moment your eyes met. How can someone have this much of a hold over you unintentionally? None of this makes any sense to you, but there is something about this human being that drives you mad.

Your bag slips to the ground by your side while your eyes glue to the script before you. The words of Mrs. Lee echo in the room once everyone arrives, but you are so muddled you hardly grasp what she is saying. All you know is that you are assigned to be the narrator which is easy for you to find because your part is in italics mostly. And then, you silently breathe a slow sigh of relief when Jeongguk is introduced to everyone by Mrs. Lee, and she assigns him the part of Paris since one of the students originally assigned is out sick.

You feel relief because that means Jeongguk isn’t going to be assigned Romeo. And that is because you aren’t assigned Juliet. The last thing you want is to see him, although acting, face to face with another girl. It would hurt and you don’t have time to be hurt. Even though it is you hurting yourself.

One thing you did happen to observe is how timid Jeongguk became when he was introduced as the new addition to the drama club. Is he really that shy? Or did he seem like he didn’t want anyone to know that he is going to be a part of the club in itself?

Unfortunately, he still gets taunted by Kevin which tears your heart into pieces, but Kevin wouldn’t cause him any hell over this right? Drama club isn’t even embarrassing, so why would Jeongguk be embarrassed? Are his parents against him having a passion to become an actor? Maybe it’s a family thing he is worried about.

You really overthink too much; you scold yourself inwardly.

{16}

College planning becomes the ultimate priority when entering the final year of high school. You even gained a friend in a sweet girl named LenLen whose sleek, black hair is tossed behind her shoulders while she concentrates on the task at hand. Last year happens to be a blur, and you spent the summer hanging out with LenLen, but keeping your secret about Jeongguk buried until you feel it is safe to bring it to life.

Speaking of Jeongguk, he hardly came to drama club all last year until the very end when he became even closer to Jimin and Monnie. They must have done an excellent job encouraging him because he doesn’t want the entire school to know that he loves to act, and it shows, yet he attended much more than you expected the final months of the last semester. What is he so afraid of? You still haven’t figured it out.

Rubbing your fingers along your forehead in exhaustion, jittery nerves bundle at your fingertips as your eyes burn from staring at the computer screen too long. LenLen asked if you would meet her at the library after class to apply for colleges, and she is typing away at the keyboard while you take a mini break.

There is only one college you have your heart set on the second you discovered it over the summer, and the only college you want to attend:

Konkuk University.

It is the top college you can attend to pursue a degree in acting. The constant talk of colleges amongst the teachers have reminded students to start preparing for where they will want to go to begin their dream careers. Your parents have been doing research along with you to colleges you can apply for, but Konkuk seems to be where you want to go. Where you feel, you are destined to go. The excitement of even applying to Konkuk seems to be the only thing on your mind.

Promising LenLen you will save her a seat in the cafeteria, you click off Konkuk’s website, sling your backpack over your shoulder and rush to make it to the lunch line. She arrives around ten minutes later, sitting across from you as your lunch trays almost collide. It’s as if your peripherals pick up her presence, but your pupils do not leave the sight you cannot believe you are seeing.

Jeongguk must have gained a new friend too because there he is entering the cafeteria alongside Kevin and his clique. Whatever Kevin said to impress Jeongguk is beyond you, but who in their right mind would see Kevin as a good guy? He has bullied so many people, yet Jeongguk gave him a chance to redeem himself. Or at least, that is what you are trying to tell yourself. You are stunned by the revelation that you almost miss the statement LenLen makes.

“I see you staring.” She smirks, kicking at your shoe as an equivalent to elbowing you if she wasn’t sitting across from you. You can’t help the way your eyes enlarge in response.

“Wha- what do you mean?”

Winking, “I think you know exactly what I mean.”

Shifting your stare towards Jeongguk, you want to cringe at the thought that somebody has figured out your secret. Or maybe you want to cringe because you have made it way too obvious. You decide to play dumb.

“Wh-who?”

“Kevin, silly! You haven’t stopped staring at him all day!”

Oh, the way your jaw drops so quickly and abruptly. It’s as if you are offended because in all honesty, you are. But LenLen is nowhere near at fault for that. Kevin just has no chance with you even if he is to be the last man on earth.

“Kevin!?” You manage to say with your voice cracking. “You think I’m looking at Kevin!?”

She swiftly examines the group of guys just to shrug. “Well, who are you looking at then?” Looking down at your food, which you have been nibbling on, you quickly start eating it again. LenLen gets the point and doesn't press any further. "Well... Whoever it is, just talk to him!" Though her intentions are genuinely pure, it’s easier said than done. You still haven’t worked up the courage to approach him. It has been years that you have known his existence, yet you haven’t said a word to him to try and introduce him into your world.

Months disappear into time and the one day you miss due to being sick is of course a day where one of your teachers passed out a test. So, guess where you are today? Staying after school to make up a test. Once turned in, Mr. Von leaves in a hurry, but you don’t immediately text your dad to be on his way. Instead, you shuffle through your backpack to find the script for A Midsummer Night's Dream to quickly highlight your lines to give yourself some quiet time.

Hearing footsteps reverberate in the hallway, a chirpy whistle is keeping up with the beat of each step. You keep your focus unbroken and manage tuning out the sounds. You do catch, however, the footsteps passing the open door, halting, to then backpedaling as if the person notices you are in the classroom.

“Hey there!” The deep voice is as happy as the melody he had been whistling, but there is something familiar about the sound of his voice. “Y/N, right?”

“Yes!” You reply faster than you mean to, and once your eyes lift to the figure before you, there is a moment where you want to run, but also a moment that makes the world around you disappear into the depths of your brain cells. Jeon Jeongguk. The person who entered the classroom is Jeon Jeongguk. Holy shit.

What do you say? How do you speak? Where do you begin? How do you begin if there was never a beginning? How do you breathe? How do you blink? How do you stand? How do you walk? How do you act normal? How do you even even?

“I’m Jeongguk,” he offers his hand, and then you must coax yourself to shake it, but even then, you are questioning how you reach your hand forward to slap palms and shake his hand.

“Nice-nice to meet y-you.” You force your biggest smile, but that feels awkward. Amazed, you can’t believe you’re even audible when speaking because your voice is coming out so quiet. You are nervous meaning you’re either going to be too loud or too quiet.

He nods. “You did great today by the way… Playing Titania.” One thing you have gathered about Jeongguk this year so far is that he has become so outgoing compared to previous years of knowing him. He is one of those guys who will talk to just about anybody and knows how to keep a conversation going. If only those were skills, you developed because you just make things plain awkward.

“And you did wonderful playing Oberon.” The blush heats upon your chest and cheeks while you return the compliment. Can your heart pound any harder? Any faster? You figure he is bringing this up in general because Mrs. Lee plans on quizzing everybody on their lines in preparation for the play. Your eyes trail him from the tips of his shoes to the handsome curve of his chin, and you hate the affect he has on you even over a small conversation.

Why is he so attractive?

The silence is smothering, but he holds a soft grin as he turns to lean against a desk behind him. “Thank you.” He murmurs, shoving his slim fingers into his pockets. Why does he seem so distant suddenly? Does this mean you leave? Why leave when you have waited to magically be alone with him for years just to be able to obsessively write in your journal every single detail you remember of sharing your first real conversation with Jeongguk? Goodness, you need help. He’s just a guy. But you know very well that trying to chalk this up as ‘no big deal’ isn’t going to work. Because him standing before you is, indeed, a big ass deal.

Jeongguk clears his throat. “I know this is random, but you seem very passionate about what you do. Have you ever had a dream that you were uncertain about? Like… you knew that it was exactly what you wanted to do, but you were scared maybe… it was too good to be true?”

Looking down for a moment, you know what he is saying. Everyone has experienced this a time or two in their life. Possibly even more. Chasing dreams can be scary, but that’s what makes it rewarding. He's obviously talking about acting. And from the past few months of the drama club, Jeongguk really has it in him. He really can act. Every line he's ever given, he's always shown the right amount of emotion. Each character he's given to portray, he knows exactly what to do and how to depict that character in the most beautiful way. He hardly ever receives criticism from Mrs. Lee, and he receives tons of standing ovations for his outstanding performances from his peers and you know deep down an audience will follow behind in his future.

You can never understand why he's always been so ashamed of his talent. Who cares what anybody thinks? Especially Kevin. Nobody cares about him, nor his thoughts anyway. So, why should Jeongguk? After a second, you realize he's still waiting for you to speak.

Deciding to take this opportunity, you give him some advice. If anything, maybe it will help him. Possibly stick with him for the rest of his life. Now that would be too good to be true. You just need to try. You’re so tired of him being ashamed of the drama club. He should never be ashamed of his talent. Or himself.

"Jeongguk..." Wetting your lips before you continue, you try desperately to gather your words. "Don't ever be afraid of chasing your dreams. You know you can do it, so why are you afraid of what other people think?" He looks at you, lips parted, his brown eyes deeply searching yours. "You know you're good enough to make it. So, go for it. I mean it." You know you’re coming off a little stern, but it's time for him to know the truth about how you feel. Even if it’s only the brim of the whole damn truth. "You are so talented, Jeongguk. I always wish I could perform like you; convey emotion as you do with every character you're given."

He grins shyly, leaning off the desk and reaching over to give you a side hug. "You know, I have never heard you talk this much before!" He pulls away, his eyes never leaving yours. "Thank you. That means so much.”

"Hey.” You murmur softly. Unintentionally yet boldly, you pinch his chin gently between your fingertips to keep his gaze from faltering. “Don't be afraid anymore, Jeongguk. Okay?”

Sincerity fills his eyes as you give him a terse nod. Knowing your dad is probably waiting for you outside at this point since it has been too long for you to not text him, you collect your bag and duck out of the classroom, your heart still pounding as if you just ran a marathon.

Either way, you’re thankful. Giddy, even. That's the first time you and Jeongguk have held a conversation, and that's the very first time you've ever told him what you think of him and his many talents. The only thing you left out was the never-ending crush you've had on him because now is not the time to reveal something that most likely wouldn’t make any sense to him. Sometimes, you don’t fully understand how deep your feelings for him go.

And that is okay with you.

-

The Friendship Phase

{17}

Familiarity in the form of heated bleachers against the skin of the bottoms of your legs bring a subtle comfort while your eyes scan the pages of the book assigned in literature class. With only a few months away from graduation, there is also the spring play to look forward to in a span of a few weeks yet the only thing you can genuinely rejoice about is the newfound friend you have in Jeon Jeongguk.

Yes, you thought that correctly.

You are now friends with Jeon Jeongguk which obviously deepened your feelings stronger than you ever thought possible. Shifting your mind, you scope the endless colorful, sticky notes sticking out of all sides of this book. You have always taken your studies seriously which is something your parents are very proud of, but sometimes you are exhausted.

Sounds of enthusiastic footsteps pounce along the metal bleachers which captures your attention to look up. “Hey, y/n,” your heart melts as Jeongguk’s bunny grin includes a brief wave of his thin hand.

“Hey there.” You coo even though you didn’t mean to coo. Jeongguk plops next to you leaning into you swiftly to then stretching his long legs on the empty bleacher in front of him. “I heard Jimin pranked you earlier.” Jeongguk shudders but in a humorous way at your random statement.

“And they just had the audacity to film the whole thing.”  

“You have the best reactions, and you know it.” You can’t help but chuckle with him as he shakes his head. With one hand, he ruffles his bangs, his smile staying intact.

“I’ll get him back.”

“When-”

“Nobody knows. It could be today, tomorrow or Friday the thirteenth.”

Teasingly, you roll your eyes. “Well, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

He elbows the side of your ribs prompting you to snicker at him. After a moment, the silence only lasts shortly while Jeongguk eyes you curiously. “Have you applied to Konkuk, yet?”

You remember the eagerness you felt last night once it was completed and submitted. “Applied last night, have you?”

His dream has also been Konkuk University which you had no idea until months earlier when the friendship blossomed. Acting comes in handy especially at a time like this because hiding feelings from the one person you’ve been infatuated with since elementary school might burn the chance of him staying in your life. If a friendship is all he wants from you, then a friendship from you he will have no matter the pain.

“Of course!” Jeongguk’s enthusiasm shows in his voice as he stares out onto the soccer field and the bright, blue sky. “We will have to celebrate!”

Smiling, you shake your head at his optimism with the hope for this dream to come true remaining. “Jeongguk, I don’t even know if I’ve been accepted, yet!”

“I have no doubt,” he reaches over and pats your shoulder, inwardly making your heart skip a beat. It’s then the familiar buzz of your phone reminds you of your father’s arrival to pick you up and though you love your father, it takes everything in you not to groan. If you could sit here with Jeongguk forever, you would.

“Thank you, Guk.” You say, nudging his shoulder with your own as you move to stand to your feet. His eyes always show a serenity when you use the nickname you gave him. It happened randomly but also naturally as if he has been your friend longer than he actually has. Jeongguk looks up at you, positioning his head where the sun isn’t shining in his eyes.

“What are you doing later?” You wonder, hugging your binder to your chest after slinging your bookbag over your shoulder.

“I’m practicing dance moves with Jimin and Monnie. There are a few moves they’ve been struggling with, so I offered to help.”

Auditions for the spring musical were a few weeks ago, and already being assigned roles, everyone in the drama club has been practicing nonstop in preparation for the play. Jeongguk stands to his feet leaning backward to stretch. “You can come if you want to,” he insists, standing straighter. “I’d love for you to join.”

Though disappointment fills you (because when do you not want to be with Jeongguk), you remember your mom is planning on cooking dinner tonight, and you need to study not only for a quiz on Friday but study the couple lines you have for the musical as well as the songs of choice. “I can’t tonight, but I’ll catch you tomorrow?”

“I’ll catch you tomorrow.” Guk raises his arms in the air, pulling you into a tight hug. As the both of you sway from side to side, you take in the faint smell of his cologne, his smooth chin resting against your forehead. It takes everything in you not to move to kiss him but then you remember that you’ve never been kissed. Pulling away slightly, you notice the atmosphere change, as if a nervous tension has made its appearance between you two. Slowly lifting your head, you see Jeongguk’s ajar lips first before he swallows. Refraining from scrunching your eyebrows, you have no idea what to make of this moment with his arms still wrapped around you.

Is there more that he wants to say?

Abruptly, as if lightning has struck, Jeongguk presses his lips ever so softly on your reddening cheek. Eyes wide and heart ramming against your sternum, you don’t even have time to react before he sprints off. Your fingertips touch the tingling spot of your cheek and now you will be counting down the minutes until you get to see him again.

-

The practices for the musical are building excitement for everyone in the drama club. The adrenaline rush of performing in front of a live audience along with the impact of the music when everyone’s voices join in loud harmony; the dance moves growing more in sync with every practice, the pure joy of getting to share this dream with people considered your second family; absolutely all of it gives everyone something to look forward to and you wouldn’t change that for the world.

Turning the page to your wrinkled script, you briefly study the highlighted lines. The air outside has warmed, the cloudy day giving off a strange feeling as you try to focus on the words in front of you.

Instead of pouncing feet, this time the footsteps are slower, heavier, dragging even. Curiosity mingled with concern fills you as you turn to see a quiet Jeon Jeongguk who is eyeing the ground, hands in pockets, pink lips in a straight line, walking to take a seat next to you. Furrowing your eyebrows, you’re surprised at his sudden change in demeanor. You haven’t seen him like this in a while.

This morning he was all smiles and dancing his little jigs down the hallway whenever it was time to go to class. At first, you’re at a loss of what to say, and when Jeongguk, finally meets your gaze, he swallows a lump in his throat.

“Something’s going on with Monnie and Jimin.” He murmurs, concern evident in his features. He scratches at his knee then slips his slim fingers into his pocket. Shock fills you.

“What!?” Replaying the day's events, it’s hard to keep up with Jimin and Monnie during the school day versus seeing them at drama club. Observing Guk, worry remains in his expression.

“Jimin won’t tell me what’s going on, but he’s been upset all day.” He chews the side of his cheek, his eyes zoned out in front of him.

“Have you spoken to Monnie?” Now realizing, the two of them haven’t texted in the group chat in a while, and you beat yourself up for being so oblivious.

Jeongguk shakes his head slowly, meeting your eyes. “She dodges me and Jimin every time we try to catch her attention.” Running a hand through his dark hair, he lets out a long sigh through his nose. All you know is whatever is going on is not good. Jimin and Monnie are crazy about each other whether they will admit it or not.

“What about practice? When’s the last time you all got together for that?” Bringing your hand to your mouth, you can’t help gnawing on your nails, anxiety for your friends rising. Also, Jeongguk has been practicing dance moves with them a lot recently; with Jimin, playing the prince, and Monnie, playing the main fairy, which are the lead roles, practice for them is imperative.

“A few days ago.”

“And everything was fine then?”

“Yeah.” Jeongguk is so quiet that you barely hear him. Your heart breaks, not only for the sadness of this situation. Without thinking, you set your stuff to the side, scooting closer to him, leaning your head against his shoulder. Your heart thumps within you at your sudden gesture, and self-consciously wondering what he may have thought of it. To your surprise he leans his head against yours, his warmth bringing peace after hearing the news about his friends.

Selfishly, you’ve daydreamed about his kiss from the other day, but now you can’t even bring yourself to smile about it giddily as you’ve been. Until Jimin, Monnie and Jeongguk are okay, you aren’t going to feel okay.

Inwardly, you hope everything works out for the two of them. They are beautiful souls made just for each other; and whatever is going on, you hope it doesn’t last forever. Staring at the sky, Jeongguk and you don’t speak, just sit comfortably in the silence. You can’t help but shove the fear aside- the fear of losing him. The past few months have been nothing, but you and him: becoming closer, encouraging each other, dreaming of your futures as well as the mutual excitement of hopefully attending the same college, dancing together, singing at the top of your lungs purposely missing notes, meeting at your favorite spot on the bleachers (your everyday routine) until your dad picks you up; it has been the most magical few months you’ll forever be thankful for. You just can’t imagine the two of you ever losing touch, and you don’t want to.

Still cuddled up on his shoulder, you look down to see how near his hand is to yours. The back of his hand is so close that the desire to intertwine your fingers with his is hard to ignore. Swallowing, the nerves build within you, contemplating on if you should just do it and see what happens, or not do it for the fear of rejection. The second you slightly move your hand even closer to his, your phone buzzes.

Jeongguk lifts his head in response, unaware of your almost gesture, and looks toward your phone. “Is that your dad?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, not in frustration, but more of disappointment only because you’re not ready to leave Jeongguk. Meeting his eyes, he gives you a silly grin.

“Well, I will see you tomorrow. I’ll update you if Jimin tells me what’s up.” Jeongguk stands along with you as you turn to stuff your notes in your bag. “In the meantime, I think I’m going to go kick some ball with Kevin and his friend Shownu. Namjoon and Hoseok may be joining, too.” As soon as you zip your bag up and sling it over your shoulder, Jeongguk wraps you in his arms. It is a tradition, you have noticed, that you both do before you leave to meet with your dad.

“I hope you have fun,” your voice is soft, savoring every second of his embrace. You get one more squeeze, nodding once when you both pull away. “Wait!” You spew the moment Jeongguk starts to turn on a heel. If you can’t hold his hand yet, then you will return his gesture from what feels like forever ago. A gesture the pair of you haven’t talked about… yet. On your tiptoes, your palms greet his shoulders, and you plant the sweetest kiss you can on his cheek. He is just as stunned as you are, but you do not give him time to react.

You jog up the bleachers toward the direction of your dad’s parked car. The ride home goes by fast because your mind is on full blast. Dad and you make small talk, but you don’t remember it because all you can think about is how soft Jeongguk’s skin felt against your lips.

As soon as the car parks in the driveway, you immediately run to the mailbox trying to force a distraction. Because did Jeongguk like it? Will he think you’re crazy? He kissed you so why couldn’t you kiss him back? Is he going to act weird about it tomorrow? Will he say anything?

You dissipate the thoughts by roughly shaking your head and return to the squeaky sound of the lid to the mailbox opening. Ever since applying to Konkuk, it’s been your number one priority to check the mail after school each afternoon. With already anxious fingers, you peek inside the dim, small space. A large, white letter outstands the rest of what you assume is junk mail and the panicky jitters swarm in your stomach.

Reaching for the largest letter, you see your name in bold letters, a smile forming on your lips as excitement fills you. Running your eyes to the corner of the letter, there in the most beautifully typed font reads:

Konkuk University.

-

When school starts the following morning, you’re all smiles as you tuck the unopened letter in one of your folders and settle it into your backpack. If there’s anyone in the world you want to open this letter with, it’s Jeon Jeongguk. Sitting in the first few classes nearly drives you mad as the nerves build with every second. Not just nerves involving whether you have been accepted into your dream college or not, but nerves from the kisses. They weren’t on the lips, but kissing someone’s cheek is just as much of a big deal, right?

You carefully scan the crowded hallways between each class period, trying to stay alert for any signs of Jimin or Monnie. You texted Monnie last night to check up on her, but she was very concise with her reply, and you knew it was best to let her be until she feels better. Whatever is going on is her business and you never want to pry.

LenLen was also the next person you texted, letting her know you received your letter from Konkuk. She showed her excitement with all caps and exclamation points leaving you a wide smile before you fell asleep. Despite the college excitement, you also scribbled in your journal about the events with Jeongguk because you wanted to remember that moment for eternity.

Now, nearing the end of the school day, the sun is shining high in the sky as you cling onto the strap of your backpack that seems to live on your shoulder. Heading in the direction of the bleachers to the soccer field, you hear the familiar joyful voice of Jeongguk.

“Y/N! Y/N!” He shouts, and before you can fully turn around, he lifts you in the air and twirls you around in his embrace. You laugh hysterically, watching as he does a little ditty, shuffling his feet in one of his infamous robotic dance moves after setting you down. As soon as he finishes, he rests his hands on your shoulders. “I got accepted! Konkuk accepted me! I am going to Konkuk University!”

“Oh, Guk!” You shout gleefully, crashing into his arms again while he sways you. “I am so proud of you!”

“Did you get your letter?” He gleams, pulling away from the hug, his hands now lingering on your elbows.

Nervously nodding whilst biting your bottom lip, you turn to unzip your bag, pulling out the folder you kept the letter in. “I haven’t opened it, yet.” You admit. A blush creeps on your cheeks. Confusion clouds Jeongguk’s eyes as he looks at you.

“Oh?”

“I wanted you with me.” Holding his eyes, his lips part then relax into a timid grin. With shaky fingers, you thumb at the flap of the envelope, carefully opening it. Your heart pounds loudly as you gulp. Once you free the letter from its thin package, you unfold it slowly, bringing it to your line of vision.

Taking a moment to find the sentence you need to read, your shoulders go rigid, your fingertips are suddenly ice cold as the whole world around you stops. Tears brim in your eyes, as your heart falls to the ground in shattered glass pieces.

To: [Y/L/N] [Y/F/N],

Thank you for your application into our Acting and Arts program as we are very honored for your consideration of us to pursue your educational career path. We are very sorry and regretful to say that we are not able to accept your admission to Konkuk University at this time…

The words blur before you. Your mouth hangs open, but no words are coming out. Every hope and dream you had for attending Konkuk has disappeared along with the excitement you had been feeling since applying. The emptiness in your chest is smothering you, and the worst part is…

“Y/N?” Jeongguk steps forward, worry all over his face as his gentle voice brings you back to the present. Realizing you haven’t said a word, your eyes shoot to meet his.

The even worse of the worst part is, the one person who has finally entered your life; the one person who you dreamed of being by your side through college and hopefully further in life; the one person who you’ve been inseparable with for a short span of time, will be far away. Konkuk is about five hours away from your town, and just the thought of hardly getting to see Jeongguk destroys you.

Tears spill onto your cheeks. You have no words. Bringing a shaky hand to your face, you run. The letter sways in the wind behind you as you choke back a fit of sobs. Guk’s voice calls your name, but it fades in the distance. You run elsewhere. Anywhere that is not you and Jeongguk’s favorite spot; any place where you will not be found.

At least, not until your father picks you up from school.

Devastation overwhelms you as the tears continuously soak your cheeks. All your hopes were set on Konkuk University. And, for the first time in a long time,

you feel stuck.

-

The covers of your bed have never felt so welcoming as you cuddle further under the comforter. The empty feeling in your chest is prominent as you try to shove the earlier humiliation from your mind. Squeezing the bridge of your nose, heavy footsteps catch your attention.

“Hey…” The deep voice of your dad sounds as he cracks the door open. With red, puffy eyes, you look at him, his sad face showing pity. “Mom and I are heading out to visit your grandma.” It looks as if he wants to invite you to come but knowing the information you received today along with your sloppy appearance, he decides against it. “Just wanted you to know that your mom and I are proud of you. Always. Don’t let this end your hope.” Blinking back tears, you force a grin at your dad’s words. “There’s always an answer. Konkuk just happened to not be it.”

Nodding, a tear slides down your cheek while your dad continues. “Don’t give up, y/n. We believe in you.”

Thanking him hoarsely, your dad gives a nod, closing the door behind him. Minutes drag, and you decide to brush your teeth to rid of the sour taste in your mouth and prepare for bed early. Maybe sleeping will help you escape this misery for a while. Once you’re freshened up, you throw on a pair of yoga pants and a loose T-shirt refusing to look in the mirror at your appearance and trying to enjoy the freedom of not wearing a bra. As you make your way to your bed again, you lift the blankets when the sound of the doorbell makes you jump.

Heart thudding lightly, your eyebrows furrow, sniffing back the excess mucus clogging your nose. Your parents haven’t been gone that long and if they had forgotten something, they would have texted you first. Making your way to the door, you open it. Your eyes enlarge in astonishment when you see Jeon Jeongguk, lips parted, staring into your eyes. Embarrassment flushes through you as your cheeks and chest burn. You know you look awful. You also know that you feel awful. Not a good combination, you scold yourself.

“Hello...” He murmurs. His hands bury in the pockets of his blue and yellow jacket. “Can I come in?” He asks after sixty seconds of silence. Speechless, you nod with a forced grin. Jeongguk steps through the front door then you close it behind him. It’s not the first time he has been to your house; he’s been countless times for homework purposes and drama club practices. You just didn’t expect him at your doorstep at this moment right now. You never dreamed he would show up to see you unexpectedly like a movie.

The two of you hold eyes, regret pooling in your heart. Jeongguk’s arms loosen to then step forward, pulling you into a tight hug. Your body trembles against him from the tears brimming in your eyes.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper. You are not only sad about not being accepted by your dream college, but you are in pure devastation at the thought of losing Jeongguk. The man you have been longing for since you were eight years old. Why is it that when he is finally in your life, a part of your world, that life wants to strip him away from you again?

“No, no…” He says tenderly, his chest so warm pressed against your cheek. “Please don’t be sorry.”

“I just… I just didn’t know what to do.” You sob. Once you both pull away after your minutes of crying subsides, Jeongguk follows you into your room. The both of you sit on your bed, and his knee brushes your thigh as you two shift comfortably facing each other. Silence drowns the room, but only for a few minutes before you speak. “I’m so happy for you.”

Jeongguk glimpses at you from his twiddling hands, his pink lips form into a sweet grin. He looks as if there’s something he wants to say, but decides against it, returning his eyes downward, his fingers move to play with a piece of lint he finds on the comforter.

Awkwardly, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and sniff, the emptiness you feel not doing any better. You feel horrible for running off like that; you really are happy for Jeongguk, and you hope he knows that despite your devastation of being rejected by Konkuk. Deep down, you know he’s not angry with you for feeling this way, so why you are overthinking it you don’t know.

“Come here…” He says warmly. Looking up at him in surprise, he moves forward, embracing you once again to you resting into the side of his neck. His warm skin sends those familiar shivers all through your body. How can someone captivate you this much without even knowing it? Without thinking, you whisper.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Your voice breaks as your chin trembles. “So, so much.”

He moves just enough to meet your eyes again, and his face is so close that you can feel his breath against your chin. Your eyes notice when his lips part, both of you staring without making one sound. You have never been kissed on the lips before, and never in your wildest dreams would you have imagined it to be with Jeon Jeongguk. Butterflies grip you internally as the tip of his nose brushes the side of yours, his eyes closing as you hold your breath.

As smooth as the touch of a flower petal, Jeongguk’s lips press to yours ever so warm and ever so soft making your head spin sporadically. The two of you pull away but only for a second to stare into each other’s eyes, as if he’s asking permission to kiss you again. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” He smiles so wide; you can hardly conceal the excitement bursting all over your heart that is mending because of him and those words.

The infamous pound of your heart awakes in your temples the second Jeongguk kisses you again.  His thumbs stroke your cheeks as your hands grasp his forearms following his lead. As your lips move together, you feel yourself laying back onto the numerous pillows against the bed frame. His body aligns with yours, the material of his jeans thick against your yoga pants. There are no words to describe the happiness igniting within you as you get lost in the feel of his kiss, the way his hair feels between your fingers, the tip of his tongue circling yours, and the way your legs tangle together. This day might have started off in the most horrible way, but Jeongguk knew exactly how to mold that misery into a bliss you never thought you would ever experience.

There are just no words.

His eyes meet yours once more as a beautiful smile spreads upon his face. “I’m going to miss you more.” And with that, he kisses you repeatedly, and you never want this night to end.

Never in a million years.

{18}

The clinking sounds of silverware interspersed with the numerous conversations populate the atmosphere as you rush from table to table refilling drinks or taking orders. It’s hard to focus on the task at hand after being here all day, but you manage to give polite smiles despite the stress of the crowd growing. It’s been several months post high school graduation since you started your full-time job here waitressing, saving up money until you find the right college for you.

Swiftly, wiping your sweaty palms along your apron, you take a quick break to check your phone.

When you have yet to receive a message from Jeongguk, you feel your heart drop in disappointment. Jeongguk left for college a month ago at the end of summer, and though you know his schedule is continuously busy, it’s like him and you have barely been able to speak a word since the two of you said goodbye. Fighting the urge to cry, you set your phone back in your locker and sprint to see if any of your customers’ food is ready.

The job continues to keep your mind busy enough to dismiss the sadness from checking your phone a bit ago, but not busy enough from the memories of your friends. You’ve never missed your friends so much; almost seeing them every single day to never seeing them at all took a toll on you, especially when Jeongguk left.

The final days of your senior year were eventful other than the suffocating exams that consumed everyone’s time studying. LenLen and Jeongguk were the only two who kept you sane through the horrendous time; and now, after finishing the final exam, you make your way toward the front doors of the school, stopping dead in your tracks. Jimin and Monnie are standing a good distance apart; Monnie hugging a binder to her chest, her stiff shoulders apparent as her and Jimin never break eye contact.

“Hey, y/n.” Guk’s voice echoes. When you turn to him with nervous eyes, he looks out the glass doors to realize why you’re silent.

“Oh, shit.” He whispers, grabbing your arm and pulling you to a corner to where you both couldn’t be seen easily. Heart-shattering, you watch as Monnie mouths something to Jimin, even from where you’re standing, you can see tears glistening in both of their eyes. Jimin looks down for a moment, returning his eyes to her, mouthing something in her direction as well. As if the moment was lost, Monnie rushes to a car that pulls up, and you assume it’s one of her parents coming to pick her up.

A memory floods your mind from the previous week, when Monnie, with sad eyes, told you the news that nearly broke you.

“I’m moving back home.” She whispered. Shock overwhelmed you at her statement, being her home is basically a plane trip away.

“What?” Stunned, a tear spilled onto your cheek. “Monnie, no-” you remembered the night the spring musical ended, Monnie left immediately afterward without a word to anyone. Jimin, depression evident in his countenance, leaned on Jeongguk for strength as the mystery of Jimin and Monnie remained. They never told anyone what happened, and if they had it was very vague.

“I know.” She said, looking down to avoid you seeing her cry. Enveloping her in a tight hug, you held her close as she broke into silent sobs, and you refused to let her go until she was ready.

A warm hand intertwined with yours, the memory slips away as you watch Jimin disappear around the corner of the school.

“Do you think it’s because she’s moving?” You murmur. Meeting Guk’s eyes, the both of you share a knowing look of worry, wishing there was something you could do to reunite the couple you two weren’t sure you would ever see again.

“I don’t- I don’t know.” He says softly, wrapping his arm around your waist for comfort.

The memory fades into the evening along with your will to smile. Thankfully, the second closing comes around, you quickly help wipe down tables, tidy up the chairs, and wash dishes before you gather your purse and phone. Refusing to look at your phone screen, you wait for the arrival of your mother to pick you up, wishing you were brave enough to get your license. Although, as soon as you settle in the passenger side, your mom and you make small talk until you both make it to the house.

Running to shower, afterwards, you freshen up with a pair of clean pajamas, soon settling into your room for the evening. Your legs are sore from standing all day. As if on an impulse, your fingers tap along the phone screen and before you know it, you’re dialing Jeongguk’s number. After the long day you’ve had, your heart yearns to hear his sweet laugh, hoping maybe it can bring some healing before you fall asleep for the night.

Chewing on your fingernails, the anxiety rising beneath your chest surprises you. Why are you so nervous? It’s not like you and him are strangers. Before you can scold yourself any further, the sound of his voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

“Hey.” Jeongguk’s voice sounds frantic once he answers on the fourth or fifth ring. Taking note of his heavy breathing, you wonder if he just came back from dance practice, or maybe he went for a jog.

“Hey.” A grin fills your face just at the relief of finally hearing him after what felt like so long. It has been a while since you and Jeongguk have spoken over the phone, and it’s hard ignoring how much you have missed him since his leaving for Konkuk.

“Hey, y/n, I’m so sorry but I can’t talk right now.”

A strange feeling overwhelms you as disappointment knocks on your heart. “Guk, is everything okay? I just feel like we haven’t talked in so long and it’s starting to worry me. I just, I-”

“I know, and really I’m so sorry, I promise I will explain everything later but right now, Jin and I are rushing to the hospital-”

“Wha-?” Shock engulfs you, and you can feel your voice thicken with fear.

“One of our friends just got in an accident.”

*

Your heart had stopped at his words and your whole body went numb. It’s been a few days, and still Jeongguk’s words have echoed in your mind continually. Swiftly, you asked Jeongguk to update you on everything before the two of you hung up. Of course, he promised, but even now, still waiting, you have yet to hear from him.

Sighing in utter frustration, mostly to yourself for being so selfish, you collapse onto your parade of pillows, pulling up your Facebook app. Just the thought of someone getting hurt tore you up completely. It’s one of those situations where you wish with all your heart and soul that you could help and save somebody from their storms. Then during the healing process, prove to them that they are not alone, and that you will do everything in your power to help them find an escape from their torments.

Turning on your side, you try to ignore the uneasy feeling at the pit of your stomach. You wish misery wasn’t a thing; especially right now, with worry racking your whole brain with everything being unknown. You have no idea if Jeongguk’s friend is okay, and you also don’t know if Jeongguk and his friend Jin are okay, and overall, you think that’s what’s driving you insane the most. How can you be okay if you have no idea if anyone you know is alright?

Scrolling through your Facebook timeline, you try to distract yourself from the inner turmoil of fear threatening to consume you. As if this week couldn’t get any worse, what catches your eye next causes you to sit up. In the picture sits a group of people, all tagged from what looks to be a middle-aged woman who you assume is somebody’s mother, and as your eyes linger over their faces, you pause at the young girl who is smiling contently with Jeongguk’s arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Jeongguk’s arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Blinking back tears, you take in his dimpled grin expression, the one you had fallen in love with over and over again; realization plagues you and now everything makes sense as to why you haven’t heard from him as much. Clicking off Facebook, you decide to deactivate your account as well as the many other social media accounts you have that Jeongguk follows. You don’t even hesitate to block his number. Jeongguk has moved on, and even though you don’t want to accept it, you must. Slinging your phone toward the end of the bed, you bury your face into the comforter letting the thick material muffle the wails as warm tears stream down your face.

{22}

Do people truly move on from a broken heart? Or do they suppress the situation so far in the back of their mind that they eventually numb themselves from the pain of the devastation? Either one could be you, but you haven’t given it much thought in four long years. More like forced yourself not to think about it.

Twirling the cold beverage in your hand, the evident taste of beer pools on your tongue once you take a slow sip. You do not necessarily care for alcoholic beverages, but this brewery in downtown has been a nice place to frequent on lonely Friday nights. A few stragglers take a seat at the bar while the bar tenders’ breeze back and forth to prepare the orders.

You never went to college. Almost did, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t the right thing to do at the time.  However, you found a job opportunity to become a prop organizer for sets. Did you go for it? You did, training under a family friend, but held the bitterness of not attending your dream college, so you decided to work on multiple television sets for a couple years until you changed career paths. Instead, you applied for a banking job. You have your own desk at least and a set schedule. You also always have weekends off and the pay is somewhat decent.

Are you happy at the job? Not really but are you content with the job? To an extent. LenLen shoots a brief text with a picture of a meme that makes you smirk to yourself. You are grateful that you have maintained a wonderful friendship with this angelic human being. If it wasn’t for her then you would have never gotten over… Him. But as one may question, have you really gotten over him? You have made it clear to your parents, you didn’t move on because you wanted to, it’s because you had to. He found someone else. You finally accepted that you merely weren’t enough for him. LenLen argues that you should have communicated with him to be sure, but you disagree.

Regardless, you refuse to say his name, or create any social media that puts you at risk from seeing something that will rehash the day you discovered he had someone else. The only human being you have kept up with is Monnie from her movie premieres. She has become a highly known actress since you last saw her in high school- a super successful actress in her career. Subconsciously, you wonder if Monnie was ever able to rekindle her relationship with Jimin now that they are adults, but for now, you cheer Monnie on from the sidelines. She deserves her fame, and you will forever be so proud of her.

LenLen still harps about how cool it is that the pair of you attended school with a celebrity. And you definitely agree. You also hope Monnie’s heart has been mended the way you wish yours would. What is it about losing someone special that can take away so much of you? Sometimes you regret letting the initial pain from four years ago haunt you still. Why can’t you just forget about him entirely?

Your stomach gurgles momentarily to remind you that you need to eat something before you get buzzed. Unfortunately, you aren’t a fan of the food at the brewery, so you plan to run by a drive thru when you decide to head home.

The slide of a full glass of beer captures your attention when the lean fit frame of an individual carefully takes a seat beside you. Do you turn to look? Is it appropriate to stare? Your shoulders tense especially when you smell the crisp scent of cologne. You could smack yourself too because it smells delightful.

You’ve dated here and there, but they were never good enough. LenLen blames it on your past heartbreak, but you assure her that is not the case. At least, you wish it wasn’t the case but here you are. Whoever this person is, smoothly leaning on his elbow to face you, is entering dangerous territory if he is going to smell this enticing.  

“Waiting on anyone?” His voice is like velvet when he speaks, and you shift in the stool to eye him curiously. Your heart skips a sudden beat, and you have to fight every fiber of your being to put on your best acting skills.

Black strands are tousled though few are wisping at the corners of his brown irises. An amused gaze stays in his expression and along the smooth, pale skin of his face tilts a gentle smirk with pink lips. He is the most beautiful, exquisite man you have seen in a while. And he chose to plant his rump next to you. Great.

“I’m not.” You timidly bite your bottom lip because what else are you supposed to do? You already want to hide from the heated blush running along your chest, but you remain rooted in your seat.

Relief shows in the form of his dropping shoulders as he breathes a swift sigh. “Good because I’m not as tough as I was trying to look.”

“Nonsense!” You giggle profusely, seeing the way his smile grows into one of comfort.

“No, really. I’m not one to fight, but I was going to throw some hands at any man if it means at least getting your name. Taehyung,” his smile stays intact as he offers his hand. Feeling the warmth of his palm, you are embarrassed when you notice yours is clammy, but Taehyung doesn’t seem to mind.

“Y/N,” you say softly, having a hard time taking your eyes off him.

He seems as though he wants to say something, but he’s so entranced by you that he clears his throat awkwardly instead. “What brings you here alone on a Friday night?” Taehyung takes a sip of his beer.

Shrugging your shoulders, you realize your hand is tightly gripping your glass from the nerves. “Honestly… I don’t know. It’s just a place for me to escape to for a while.”

“Do you… Give me permission to join you? Sometimes escaping is fun if you have a partner in crime.” Hope resonates in his eyes at the question and there’s something about him that you can’t shake. Is this a coincidence? Or is this fate? Will he be the one to mend your heart into what it should be? You aren’t sure, but you will gladly find out.

“Of course,” you smile, and that became the beginning of a new love story. Or so you hope.

{23}

The time we all have been waiting for

One year ago, you met your boyfriend, Taehyung, and one year ago is when you experienced a high you have missed. He was your first everything aside from kissing, and once intimacy became comfortable, it then became addicting. You did learn after a month of courting, that Taehyung had gone through a horrible break up leading to the night you both first met. As much as you would love to admit that you relate to him, you don’t. You want to keep your former love buried deep in the crevices of your mind, so your heart can breathe.

What really piqued your interest in Taehyung was discovering he is a cameraman for movies galore. How crazy is that? You have always wanted a career related to film and acting and here you are dating a cameraman. A successful one at that. His father happens to be a well-known director so part of that has contributed to his career, but you have enjoyed the sets you secretly have gotten to visit whether the movie makes it to the big screen or not.

There’s just… something missing. You cannot seem to pinpoint exactly what it is that’s missing. But something just isn’t there. The guilt eats you alive somedays, but Taehyung has been a dedicated lover and friend, so why ruin what is a decent relationship?

“I’ll be back tomorrow, and by then, I should have more information on where my next job is located.” Taehyung reaches to hold you then plants a soft kiss to your lips. “Behave.”

Snickering, you shove him. “I can’t promise I won’t fuck something up. The cookie jar was just meant to fall off the counter.”

“Pushed.” He corrects.

“Accidentally.”

Taehyung shakes his head teasingly at you while his fingers move to grip your hips. “I want everything intact when I get back, okay?”

“Roger that.” You nod once, letting the next kiss linger. The tip of his tongue greets yours which prompts you to moan.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.

“I’ll miss you, too. Let me know when you land.”

You hate the loneliness you feel when Taehyung leaves to travel to his job locations. But you know he must. The pair of you moved in together four months after dating which you know is a bit fast, but he had been so good to you that you couldn’t help but rush it. It’s as if you were chasing a spark, you hoped would remain, but never truly found it. But nobody has to know that but you. You always liked his company because he always stayed so peaceful. You assume that his presence not being in the house makes you feel you might succumb into the sadness you experienced so long ago.

The second Taehyung calls the next morning, you can’t believe the exhilarating news he shares. “Do you remember the girl you went to school with that became an actress?”

Your breathing hitches. “Monnie?”

“That’s the one!” Taehyung beams to the point that you can tell he’s smiling on the other end of the line. “She’s starring in the movie I was hired to help film!”

“Are you serious!? Goodness, it’s been years since I’ve seen her!”

“Well about that...” Taehyung hints, and you steady your excitement.

“Yes? Come on, spit it out!”

“So, they’re doing a table reading of the script while the rest of us crew prepares the sets. And I may or may not have bought you a plane ticket, so you and her can catch up.”

“No way!” You screech. “You mean it? I’m really going to see her!? Oh God, what if she doesn’t remember me?”

Taehyung’s laugh reverberates through the phone. “Of course, she remembers you, and she’d love to see you again. It was her idea to fly you out here!”

“Oh, you tell her thank you so much! …Am I on speaker?” You lower your voice.

“… No?”

“You’re going to get you some of that goody good the second the plane lands you best believe. I’ll even wear a thong.”

Taehyung’s chuckle darkens with lust. “I’ll be ready. I love you.”

“Love you.” You nearly scream, jumping on your bed in happiness. You get to reconnect with an old friend, and maybe being with Taehyung for a bit will strengthen the hope that there shouldn’t be any doubt about this relationship. Scurrying to your closet, you throw all your clothes down to figure out what you’re going to wear and what you’re going to pack.

If only you knew who else was going to be there the moment you arrive.

-

You’re exhausted by the time the flight ends, but you happily greet your boyfriend who smiles widely at your presence. “There you are.” He coos, pinching your chin before planting a sweet kiss.

“I need some caffeine.” You say, kissing him one more time. “Has the table reading started?”

“It has, but as long as traffic is fine, we may make it on time.”

Throwing your duffel in the back of the rental car, you shuffle to the passenger side letting Taehyung rest his large hand on your thigh. Why aren’t you as excited to see him as you hoped you would be? In all honesty, you’re more excited to see Monnie more than your own boyfriend.

“Hopefully me and Monnie can reschedule if we end up late.” You are disappointed, but it is also not your fault that your flight was delayed by two hours. Taehyung squeezes your thigh while your eyes gaze at the scenery passing by. Taehyung offers to grab you a coffee, but you decline in hopes it will get you to Monnie faster.

Once the car is parked, you, hand in hand with Taehyung, enter the facility and you halt unintentionally when you see a frantic Park Jimin running after who you see to be Monnie who is keeping her gaze downward. Your eyes widen in elation. Have they been in contact this whole time? Then… Why do they look so worried?

You squeeze Taehyung’s hand and whisper, him leaning closer so he can hear you. “I think it’s safe to say that we’re rescheduling.” Taehyung sees the scene as the couple in the distance disappear around a corner and he mouths an ‘Oh.’

“I’ll show you around, then.” He clears his throat, and he unintentionally drops your hand when the pair of you round a corner into where a large table with numerous chairs sits. Few sparse, bundles of people are sharing conversation that echoes throughout the building and when someone starts greeting Taehyung, your eyes scan the room until they stop on an individual whose coffee cup drops right out of his hand in pure, debilitating astonishment.

His shoulders shudder in embarrassment, but your heart is racing so fast, you are not sure if you are breathing. How is this possible? How is this real? Someone with blue hair beside him rushes to clean the mess, but you can’t run because your boyfriend is only a few inches from you, yet you back away slowly to try and calm yourself. You feel lightheaded as if you are in a torturous dream, especially when you catch his eyes again that are equally enlarged with disbelief.

“J- Jeongguk?”

7 years earlier…

Jeongguk smiles triumphantly at the director of the college who unfortunately sent your letter of acceptance to the wrong individual who happened to share the same name as you. Jeongguk couldn’t be more thankful to solve this mistake, and to celebrate, he has been working two part time jobs on top of juggling his college classes to save up money to purchase a necklace he has been dying to get you since he moved to Konkuk University.

He knew something wasn’t right that you didn’t get accepted into Konkuk when your grades should have reflected how hard working of a student you are. Secretly, he made it a pact to get to the bottom of it, and now that he has, he cannot wait to share this news with you. You can either start classes this coming spring or start completely the following year and Jeongguk will remain by you every waking moment. Even if it’s mostly over phone for now.

He misses you more than words can say, and the exhaustion that plagues him continually is no help on the nights he’d rather stay up talking to you. He does feel guilty on the other hand that he hardly has been able to text much due to his doting schedule. Seokjin, a friend he gained, who has been a much better colleague than Kevin, greets him at the library where they plan to study.

Jeongguk has made acquaintances too, one being a guy with blue hair named Yoongi and the other being a girl named Sun Hee who Jeongguk believes is Yoongi’s girlfriend from the way they interact. What Jeongguk didn’t expect after gradually introducing the small group in his life is the accident that ensues that leaves Yoongi injured and in the hospital.

Of course, you had called right when he finds out the terrifying news that leaves him and a frantic Seokjin scurrying to the car to make it to the hospital. He plans to call you to tell you everything at some point but as the days continue, the nerves involving Yoongi get worse and Jeongguk can hardly focus on anything else but his friend. If anything, he wishes he has you to hold, but he knows it would be impossible for you to make it the five hours to him when you don’t have your license yet. Nor does he want to interrupt your job. Or, upset your dad.

Many students who either have classes with Yoongi, family, or friends of Yoongi’s visit him as he recovers which thankfully has been good news. At one point, Jeongguk walks over to comfort Sun Hee who is still trying to get past the emotional distress of it all, so he wraps a friendly arm around her shoulder before Yoongi’s mom proudly asks everyone to take a picture. Yoongi’s mom wants her son to remember the endless support he has no matter what and Jeongguk grins as the camera flashes before him and Seokjin head back to the dorms to rest.

What Jeongguk doesn’t anticipate is the fact none of his messages deliver when he goes to text you. Heart pounding anxiously, he attempts to call but nothing goes through. But… Why? Of course, he goes to check social media to see you are nowhere to be found, and the confusion muddling his mind is no help. Did you block him?

Seokjin consoles Jeongguk while he scrambles around the room wondering what to do in order to think thoroughly about it all. Did you find someone else? Why did you cut him off? How is he going to tell you about the good news with Konkuk? Seokjin offers for Jeongguk to use his phone, but Jeongguk is scared you would mistake Jin’s number for a scam caller since you obviously do not have Seokjin’s phone number. The pain hovers in his chest while he fights the tears. Was it because he didn’t get a chance to talk to you much?

Jeongguk, months later, pays a visit to your home with hope to see you again, feel your embrace one more time, but is greeted by your dad who lets him know that you are working at a different location and isn’t sure when you will be back. Your father never told you because he knew exactly what you would do, so it’s a secret he keeps safe since he is the one who saw your heart shattered over the boy he is staring back at.

Jeongguk apologizes then visits his parents for a few more days before returning to Konkuk. At this point, the necklace dangles before him once he is in the security of his dorm and tears of guilt drip onto the bed covers. If only he knew how to find you again, he would do anything. For now, he will try and accept that maybe he wasn’t enough for you after all.

-

{23}

You kept him for years in your every thought, every word you wrote and every pound of your heart. Dancing eyes that glued to your soul the moment he kissed you, and touches as gentle as flower petals loomed all over your skin. His smile haunted you even in times that you begged for it not to and why you are saying this in all past tense is just you trying to hide the truth. He still does. He still resonates with you even as if he never tore your heart to shreds.

You haven’t seen him in almost seven years, yet his memory burns alive as if you physically relive the memories every day. As if his touch is as fresh as it had been the first time, he ever held you in his arms. Why must life be so cruel? To toy with you as if he is ultimately meant to be your forever just to take him away from you repeatedly.

You didn’t give him a chance the last time. You made the choice for him because he found someone else. Why couldn’t he just be yours? Why was he there when you least expected it? Now, every feeling you’ve tried to hide is igniting into the present.

You stand there frozen for a timeless eternity locking eyes with the one man you never thought you would see again. He is just as stunned. You can see it in his eyes and from the way his Adam’s apple bobs at the gulp he swallows. You can tell by the scripts on the table right in front of Jeongguk that he must be casted in this movie, and all you can think through your catapulting thoughts is that you would have found Jeongguk much earlier if you hadn’t run late to the table reading. After all this time, and from the memories of high school, it is clear Jeongguk has finally chosen to follow his dreams, and that, despite the turmoil hounding your chest, you feel a pang of warmth at the realization.

In your peripherals, you remember a very important detail suddenly. What about Taehyung? Instead of turning, your auditory senses pick up your boyfriend still having a conversation with who you assume is a coworker. He has no idea about the stare down going on behind him.

Now, you know why Monnie ran. She didn’t expect to see Jimin here either. Is this the place where love reconnects? Or was your original thought, correct? Is fate just messing with you? Why now? Why couldn’t you be single right now, so this guilt rising in your chest didn’t exist? Why should you feel guilty though? Nothing has happened other than the immense wave of emotions plaguing your entire system. Would that have something to do with it? Holy fuck.

You do not know how you survive the day avoiding Jeongguk the way you do, and Taehyung is starting to get worried about how frantic you appear as if you want to run. Safely getting to the hotel that evening, you don’t even remember how to do your typical evening routine. With how nauseous you feel, you nibble on your dinner trying to assure Taehyung that you are fine.

The second day at the set, Jeongguk could not take his eyes off you and Taehyung, though you do not know, happens to notice how often you and the red headed actor keep sneaking glimpses at each other. This day confirms your assumption that Jeongguk is indeed a part of this movie. You learn from the second table reading, where you get to briefly wave at Monnie when she arrives, that Jeongguk is casted as one out of the seven guys who are hopelessly in love with Monnie’s character.

At one point, Jimin happens to recognize you and sends you a wave as well. You can tell Monnie is also being observant by the way she scans the noticeably awkward way you refuse to interact with Jeongguk. Monnie is aware how close you and Jeongguk were in high school so how come neither of you are acting as if you once were friends?

“Are you okay?” Taehyung, all in his camera gear, leans in and whispers. You hum a ‘yes’ in response, but you can tell he doesn’t believe you.

The third day, you feel how tired you are from the lack of sleep due to not wanting to dream about Jeongguk while your boyfriend is sleeping right next to you, so you tossed and turned until you couldn’t take it anymore. All the stress of seeing Jeongguk is starting to take a toll and when arriving with Taehyung, at one point, you see Jeongguk standing off to the side while a few of the cast members are preparing to film a scene. You aren’t sure where Taehyung went off to, but you gaze at Jeongguk with the longing you wish would stop burdening you. You also wish you could tell Jeongguk how proud you are that he is finally choosing to follow his dreams because as you watch him observing the scene being played out, he looks so lovely that the sadness washing over you becomes intense.

Tattoos adorn his skin now which you find absolutely ravishing. The way he styles his hair is even different from how you remember, and that itching desire starts to build relentlessly. It is then that Jeongguk sees you. An overwhelming feeling that neither of you can explain becomes existent and he holds your eyes as if that’s the only constant keeping him at bay. You try to read his stare while he looks into your soul, yet your feet remain planted for the moment. There is no way that you are the only one who feels this connection. There is absolutely no way. So, why did he choose someone else all these years ago?

Something breaks the gaze because instead of putting on your best, inner actress, you flee to the nearest restroom. The nausea is intense- much more intense than you realize because you are throwing your hair back immediately in preparation for the retching. Nothing really comes up but some bile since you haven’t eaten yet, and now you are breathing steady to calm your nerves.

Sometimes an overwhelming amount of shock and anxiety can do this to you, so you aren’t surprised. You just are grateful that nobody else is occupying the restroom so that you can think. What in the bloody hell do you do? Do you approach him? Do you continue to ignore him? Do you tell Taehyung? The thoughts turn into pacing while you clench your stomach because what the hell are you supposed to do? Jeon Jeongguk is in the same vicinity as you and there is no one else you’d rather… confront for lack of a better term. But is it worth confronting him for all the pain he caused you what feels at this point like a lifetime ago?

Will he even remember? Will he understand why you blocked him from your life? He will just have to because he chose somebody else over you. Whereas you spent majority of your life putting him first. Is this why you feel betrayed deep down? You know ultimately you should have put yourself first which is what you learned before turning twenty-two and prior to meeting your boyfriend. Otherwise, Jeongguk was all that mattered to you.

And he still fucking does.

Gritting your teeth, you rummage through your purse for a small bottle of mouth wash that you keep for emergencies and swish it around your teeth and tongue. You rid of the foul taste and rinse with some water before taking a few deep breaths. You can do this, y/n. Just fake a smile and act as if you are going to be in this movie yourself.

Placing your hand on the bathroom door, you shove it slowly as if you are hiding from someone. Which technically you are but you get the picture. You investigate the hallways that echo a small number of footsteps, so you, in relief, step out into the unknown thinking all is safe. Standing, you can’t remember which direction you came from, so awkwardly you just continue to… Stand there. You decide to reach into your purse for your phone to text Taehyung, but fast steps dissipate your movement.

“Follow me.” A familiar voice halts your heart. He grasps your wrist before you can scream, but it’s not a firm grip, it’s a gentle hold and you jolt your stare to see a hazy view of red hair who leads you into a storage room set off to the side. You should stop him. You should shout. You should fight to call Taehyung. But you don’t. And repentantly- you don’t want to.  

Jeongguk kicks the door closed behind him until your back shoves against a wall. Red strands hover over his determined eyes as he breathes heavy, now holding both of your wrists that he pins to the wall. You can’t even respond because your words die in your throat. This is the hottest fucking thing you have encountered, and you will keep that with you till the grave.  

There are no words shared, just ajar mouths of panting, but he is so close that you feel his breath brushing your chin. Your body is begging for more of his touch at this point, but you do not move a muscle. It is then that you remember that you are supposed to be mad at him. Yet simultaneously you want to kiss him so bad. He can’t know this though. You have a boyfriend. You must think about Taehyung.

“Let go of me.” You say through gritted teeth even though it destroys your heart piece by piece to even say it. Jeongguk hesitates, but calmly releases his fingers that curled around your wrists and steps back carefully. Your heart is betraying you because you would do anything just to make love with him right here and now, but it isn’t the right thing to do especially with how he broke your heart. And, for the sake of Taehyung’ heart.

Jeongguk turns just to rake thin hands through his hair before he runs a palm along his face. “I don’t know what came over me.”

You do. Because you feel the powerful truth resonating in this very room. You’re hurting over him and he is hurting over you. Neither of you truly know the reasons why.

What is mind blowing to you is how seven years flies by and it is like he was never a stranger. The emotions you’ve suppressed are waiting to burst at the seams as if they would even when he was still in your life. You do not know how this is possible. You know it’s crazy. You know nothing right now makes any sense and you want to scream at the top of your lungs. And, you know even if you were to have gone back to Taehyung, Jeongguk would have done exactly what he is doing now and that is confronting the reality that you both are here. In a place far away from your hometown, you both by some twisted form of fate end up in the same place at the same time. Of course, you are pondering the odds of this, of course you fucking are. All you know is you can’t let Jeongguk hurt you again. Plus, now you have Taehyung.  

“I have to go.” You finally say in the deafening silence prompting Jeongguk to turn swiftly to face you where his widened eyes hold the same desperation that you feel. Yet, he is so beautiful. Fuck. Even to this day. He is exactly how you remember but grown out of the boyish charm from high school and into a man. Your heart is pounding through your temples while you take in his features. He’s just so beautiful.

“Please…” He murmurs, stepping forward as if being even closer to you can make all of this add up. “Before you go, just tell me why.”

His statement catches you off guard. Why? What does he mean why?  He can see the disbelief written all over your expression which causes him to question inwardly. How does he have the nerve to question your reasons for cutting him off? He knows good and damn well why. He has to.

You feel unsteady briefly, but you are thankful to hear your phone buzzing within your purse which you figure must be Taehyung. Jeongguk understandably gives up accepting that you must have moved on just as you assumed he has.

Reaching for the doorknob with horribly shaky fingers, you pause for a moment collecting enough strength to end this strange yet alluring moment on good terms. “I’m proud of you.” You whisper, Jeongguk’s gaze burning innocently at the back of your head while his heart feels as though it is going to explode watching you leave. “You followed your dreams. There was never a reason for you to be ashamed… Goodbye.”

And with that, you exit the storage room, returning Taehyung’s call to ask him if he can take you to the hotel while you muster with all your strength not to erupt in a pool of endless tears.

-

A towel is wrapped around Taehyung’s waist as he ruffles his dampened hair. He has talked endlessly about his day (as he should) and the excitement he holds for the upcoming film. You, hair wrapped in a towel, rub on a face mask to cleanse your skin as you wearily stare at your reflection in the mirror. You try so hard to listen to every word your boyfriend says, but you can’t shake any thought of Jeon Jeongguk from your mind.

Vivid flashes of the way Jeongguk pinned you to that wall stirs an unwanted wave of desire through your frame and a reoccurring pain that seems to never find closure. If only he slid his teeth along your bottom lip while slipping his hands into your pants while you whimper his name… If only the emotions from the years of longing for his return continued in breathless kisses and gasping in response to the way his lips would trail your neck… Maybe you could ignore the myriad of questions that have plagued you profusely for all these damned years of wishing, and pleading, and fighting to understand why you can’t just let. Him. Go. It’s like, in a way, a spell has been cast on you whether it’s Jeongguk himself or something that is preventing, almost trying to keep the two of you from being together in the end. But, why?

Maybe the truth is right in front of you. Maybe you don’t want to let Jeongguk go.

Maybe you really just can’t.

Taehyung eventually moves to wrap his strong arms around you from behind while he places feather-like kisses along your neck. “So, I hope you’re enjoying your time here.”

“I am.” You reply softly. His fingers then slide gently into your sweatpants where he finds your clit, rubbing nice and slow while he continues to place tepid kisses. You wish you were becoming aroused, but you can hardly concentrate on the way his lips press to your skin and his fingers slipping into you pumping gently while you squeeze your eyes shut. There are no goosebumps, no moaning, no excitement- just pure sadness.

Because you know deep down what the truth is, but you do not want to admit it. You know what’s missing in the relationship. Taehyung is not Jeongguk and he never will be. It’s the saddest simplicity of an answer. He is not Jeon Jeongguk.

“Hey…” Taehyung’s voice is soft, cautiously releasing his fingers from inside you, he then spins you around. Despite, the face mask covering your cheeks and forehead, Taehyung looks at you lovingly while he reads your eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Hesitant, you reply anyway. “Nothing.”

Taehyung flashes a pointed look because he does not believe you whatsoever. “Are you jet lagged still? …Did I do something?”

“No! …No, I’m sorry. I promise I’m not trying to be gloomy. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Are you sure? Because you have seemed off since you’ve been here. Is it because you haven’t gotten to see Monnie much?”

“I mean yes, I do wish I could see her more, but we have plenty of time. Work allowed me a week off, so I’m not too worried about that.”

“Then what is it?”

Guilt pools in your eyes as you visibly see his concern, but what are you supposed to tell him? Okay, maybe the question doesn’t involve what, but how? “I… don’t know.”

You let him kiss you then even though the cream of the face mask gets all over his skin, too but it somehow makes you giggle. You wish you knew how to tell him, but it is way too soon. What happened earlier with Jeongguk was probably going to be a onetime thing. You keep replaying the whole scene with Jeongguk wishing there could have been a different outcome, but you can’t change the past. And you don’t want to hurt Taehyung who has been nothing but good to you.

Once you finish freshening up, you try having sex with Taehyung to rid of the pain inside your chest, but the remorse is so smothering you hardly can enjoy it. It’s not his fault at all so you give it what you got. Except this time, when you close your eyes, all you can see is Jeongguk’s face and it takes everything in you not to burst into tears.

-

It's not until the day before your flight that you finally meet with Monnie. Her management rented out a space in one of the fanciest restaurants to ensure privacy from the spotlight so the pair of you could catch up. She embraced you tightly while the scent of peonies greeted your nose. It’s amazing how much the two of you had to catch up on and the endless conversation is exactly what you needed. Sometimes a friendly face helps lighten the load for a little while.

As a surprise, you facetimed LenLen so Monnie could say hello which erupts into bouts of happy squeals from LenLen. Being with Monnie made you forget how famous she actually is, and you are so thankful that she always maintained her humility amongst the fame.

Neither of you mention Jimin or Jeongguk even though you wonder if the question crossed her mind at any point. You also wonder if she kept contact with Jeongguk or if Jimin did since all four of you happened to be in the same place in a different location way far away from the high school all of you attended together. It’s surreal, but maybe not bringing the subject up was a good thing.

Anxiously, you stop by Taehyung’s work to bring him lunch and to go over the time your flight departs tomorrow. Taehyung, who proclaims he has a surprise for you, says he ordered a limousine to pick you up for your ride to the airport. Speechless, you have never ridden in a limo before, and you cannot believe how thoughtful Taehyung has been all week which fuels the devastation when you notice Jeongguk standing adjacent from you. He’s gripping another coffee cup while he speaks with one of the producers.

Did he just hear every word you said? Did he hear that you are leaving to go back home tomorrow?

“I already told Stan where to pick you up.” Taehyung attempts to say but he notices your obvious distraction which has pretty much lasted the entire week you have been here.

“Wh-who? Whose Stan?”

“I just told you, silly, the limo… driver.” Taehyung follows your wavering gaze to see the dark haired actor glimpsing at you for the hundredth time. Is this why you have been acting so strange? Do you know this guy? Taehyung starts to question if you really were with Monnie when you said you were. Or the other times before when you claimed you needed a breather.

An uneasy feeling starts to bud in Taehyung’s chest. “Um…” He leans forward to get close to your ear. “Can we talk?” Taehyung lowkey has noticed the tension ever since the first day he brought you here whenever that actor was around, but thought he was going crazy. Taehyung is typically not the jealous type, but something seems off. Everywhere you were, it seemed this actor followed.

Disrupting your entrancement, you swallow the lump in your throat as your heartbeat spikes. Taehyung just walks swiftly around a corner and unbeknownst to you, Jeongguk has excused himself from the producer to hide away enough to make sure you’re okay. He feels awful to intrude, but he can’t help the strong emotions building within his heart and the indisputable closure he wishes you would give him. Because he never was able to get over you either.

Taehyung is restless as he tries to gather whatever words he can. “Look, if I sound crazy, I don’t care. Something isn’t right. And if I had to guess, it has to do with that actor you keep looking at. So, what is it? Do you know him?”

Your hands glue to your hips while you uneasily try to keep yourself standing from the uncomfortable blow to the chest. Shit. You want to scream. Taehyung caught you and now you don’t even know where to start. “I’m sorry.” You whisper which you are surprised sounds audible, but that’s all you can muster.

“Okay, so something did happen then?”

“No! Taehyung… No, it’s not what you think.” You try to breathe but feel like you can’t from how much your chest tightens.

“Okay well what am I supposed to think? Were you really with Monnie earlier?”

“Yes! Of course, I was!”

“So why are you so distant? If I did something wrong, then I need to know so I can fix it. I also can’t read your mind. Communication is what I need here, y/n.”

“I know this, Tae… I-”

“Okay, then explain. I’m doing all I can to prove to you that I love you. I just need some kind of answer. I’m starting to get really worried, and you know I’m not like this.”

Tears brim because you know deep down, he has done everything for you. You are in the wrong for this and you know it. You do love Taehyung. You really do, but the love for him will never be as strong as the love you had for Jeongguk. The love you know you will always have for Jeongguk. The silence hurts. The emptiness and sorrow you feel for Taehyung… Hurts so deeply.

“Tae…” The tears stream to drip from your cheeks. “I want you to know that I do love you and I am forever grateful for all that you have done for me… I just, um…” You press your lips together to prevent your chin from quivering. You can’t even look your boyfriend in the eyes. You don’t even know how to answer him. How can you? If you were to tell him everything from the beginning to now, not only would it crush him, but would he truly understand where you are coming from?

“You’re not going to tell me are you.” It’s not a question. He says it sternly.

“I… I can’t.” You stifle a sob. “Tae, I’m so sorry. I just can’t right now.”

Angrily, and rightfully so, he glowers at you while his jaw clenches because after a year together, he does not understand how fast everything can change in the span of a week. And after a year, how can you not trust to tell him what is going on? He deserves to know, and you wish you could find the will to just tell him the whole story without holding back.

He is rigidly holding back tears because he is just as hurt, but he can’t bear the thought of you stepping out on him which is what he is starting to believe. Is he wrong to think that? He knows anger causes irrational thinking but right now, he wants space to clear his head. Even if it means being away from you.

“The hotel is yours tonight.”

“Tae-” You rush to step forward, but he holds a palm up to pause everything.

“The hotel is yours tonight. Stan will pick you up for your flight tomorrow… We’re done.” He shoves past you as you spin in panic to watch him leave, but you do not chase him. This is not how you wanted it to go. Not on bad terms, but you feel so devastated yet so relieved that Taehyung made this decision, yet you feel so helpless simultaneously.

The tears continue as you scramble to order someone to pick you up and if you regret one thing, it’s not telling Taehyung about your first love the first day you met him like you should have.

-

The guilt is eating you alive.

Your eyes are dry and puffy from the crying the night before, so to force some way to lift your spirits, you put on a faint amount of makeup and throw on a floral summer dress. What better way to cope with the heart ache by pretending there is no heart ache? You suck at that. It’s visible all over your frame that is weak and exhausted; your mind has done nothing but run vigorously on high speed since landing a week ago and you are not sure how you are functioning properly.

Once you have everything packed and prepared, you triple check the hotel room to ensure you haven’t left anything. The room felt desolate last night without Taehyung being beside you, but in a way, you appreciated being alone. Maybe it’s for the best that you never try to love anybody else because as long as Jung Jeongguk exists in your heart, there is no such thing as anybody else. How can someone have your heart this long and they were never really yours?

Rolling your suitcase behind you, the walk to the outside is brighter than you anticipate. The sun gleams high in the sky while people bustle from left to right to exit or enter the hotel building. It doesn’t take long for you to spot the limo slowly pulling up to the curb. An older man with gentle eyes greets you, introducing himself as Stan.

“Now I finally have a face to a name.” You smile sweetly as he takes your luggage to settle into the trunk. “Thank you.” You murmur. The moment you open the limo door, you duck to begin taking a seat, but something stops you in your tracks.

It’s the scene of glimmering shoes that tilts your head in confusion as you scan from the shoes all the way up the slim legs, to the loose-fitting shirt on a familiar frame to then locking eyes with the one person you never expected to see yet again.

“Jeongguk?” You croak with widened eyes. Did you say his name out loud? You have no idea. All you know is your heart is ear piercingly screaming and your fingertips have gone numb. His red hair is gelled back so you can easily see the enchanting curve of his jawline and the quirk of his lips smirking gently. You are in trouble. And you don’t care anymore. But your conscious tries to tell you the opposite.

“I um… Uh, I have to go-” You panic preparing to back away.

“Absolutely not.” Jeongguk grasps to pull you in, reaching around you to slam the limo door closed once your body plops onto the seat. When Stan hears the signal, he starts to drive away from the curb and your mind is dizzy with anxiety.

“Jeongguk.” You try to say sternly, but his name comes out in a whimper. You are trying with all your strength not to pass out.

“Y/N.” He speaks. His eyebrow cocking. You have remained leaned forward from how he pulled you in and his face is so close, you are doing everything you can to keep your heat from clenching simultaneously with the reaction of your body wanting to tremble.

“What the hell are you doing!? How the hell did you even know I would be here!?”

He shrugs. “A friend.”

“What friend-”

“Monnie. She’s known Stan for a while. So has Jin.”

“Well, Stan is about to be fired!” You try emphasizing the word loudly to kid with Stan even though you are lowkey dead serious. You should be grieving Taehyung, not letting the desire to tangle with Jeongguk be floating subconsciously in the back of a damn limousine. “If Taehyung finds out that you jacked the limo driver, he’ll be pissed. So, again, what the hell are you doing!?”

“I’ll answer your question once you answer mine.”

“Jeongguk, I’m not playing fucking games with you-”

“Neither am I.”

Eyeing him in exasperation, you shake your head to hopefully rid of the evident confusion. “You know what- we can’t do this. We can’t be alone.”

“And why not?”

“Because-” Because you just went through a breakup, damnit! Not that you are aware that he knows. But you are trying so hard not to cave into the longing to be with Jeongguk the way his eyes intensely look into yours.

After all this time, holding it in all these long, long years:

you explode.

“Because you are just so fucking ruthless, you know that!? I have had you in my fucking head since I was a child and there is no escape from you! No escape! Do you know how much it killed me to see you leave seven years ago? Do you know how fucking insane seeing you again is all these stupid ass years later? I have been losing my shit nonstop and for what!? Because you just think it’s so damn cute to occupy every fucking brain cell I have and tear me to shreds! Like, do you even fucking know the hell I’ve been through!? Seeing you with-”

Jeongguk kisses you suddenly stopping your words. This kiss is so desperate and rough yet, it’s so much softer than you would think since you were losing your absolute shit a minute ago, but his lips are as warm as you remember, and your body loosens as his hands cup your cheeks. Gasping into his kiss, the world spins so magically that you forget that you are heading to catch a flight home. You don’t want to stop. The way his mouth moves so good with yours. How are you going to pull away?

So, you don’t.

His fingertips slip to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss while the love you buried revives into the atmosphere.

Because you are so in love with him, and you never once stopped.

Jeongguk’s other hand pats along the door refusing to break the kiss and your ears catch the sound of the partition lifting to separate the pair of you from the driver. Something about that whole gesture sends a gush from your heat, wetting your thong that you inwardly hope Jeongguk will see. It’s like you are in a dream. If ‘high school you’ knew that seven years from then that you would be making out with Jeon Jeongguk in a limousine, you would have never believed it. Instead of bottling everything up anymore, you are just going to let go. In this moment, you are with the one person you have always wanted: Jeon Jeongguk. So why fucking fight it? You are done fighting it.

You have made up your mind. You want to give him your all and you want to give it now. Conversation can be saved for later.

“Guk,” you gasp between his kisses. “Please… whatever you do. Don’t… Stop.”

It doesn’t take much until his hands move to grip your waist, positioning you in a straddle. Immediately, moaning loudly against his lips that have eagerly grown hungrier as you cling to him desperately. Humming into his kiss, the relief flooding your limbs eases the tension you have fought this entire week, and your hands slide to grasp the gelled strands of his hair in deprivation. His tongue dances with yours while he fumbles with where to place his hands next.

You moan when you feel his erection beneath your heat though clothes remain on; with the dress, you're wearing, the fabric is spread enough, you're able to feel the material of his slacks along your inner thighs. You unintentionally grind your hips, him doing the same, lips nearly bruised from sultry kisses he refuses to stop.

His palm slaps your ass to then squeezing so hard, you nearly melt into his frame, your teeth sliding along his bottom lip before sneaking the tip of your tongue along it to then snatching his lips once more.

Your fingers trace his jawline, a part of him that nearly makes you faint. Breaking the kiss, his breathing is heavy while your lips linger to trail his jaw, lightly sucking with each contact until you reach his ear. A soft laugh resonates into his eardrum, him groaning with immense desire in response. You can't help yourself especially with the fire dribbling from your heat. Your inner kinks start to arise.

"I don't know if you've ever been given a blowjob in a limo baby, but I’m not going to let you forget it.” You say it so erotically, Jeongguk is losing his mind. You're wild when it comes to sex, yet you’ve only ever had one sexual partner. With the way Jeongguk’s hazy, brown eyes watch your every move, you don't mind giving him the ride of his life. You are going to show him exactly what he has missed.

Squeezing his shoulders once, you move backward off his lap carefully despite the moving vehicle. You kneel on the floor, your antsy fingers unbuckle his belt, the jingle of the metal sending jolts of excitement throughout his limbs. The anticipation is nearly smothering, especially when you unbutton his pants to show his underwear, spreading the fabric to free his erection. The sight causes you to bite your lower lip instinctively.

"Oh baby." You nearly drool. His hands curl around your wrists before you lean in to cover his area with your mouth encasing every bit of his girth. He leans back in immense pleasure while you perform a long, intense suck before dipping your head up and down seductively. Hearing him moan fuels you to continue. Running your tongue over his tip, you let the taste of his precum lead you to yearn for more, pleasuring him so much he could release right then and there. You unlatch your wrist from one of his tightening hands, bringing it to his scrotum that is peeking through the opening of his underwear, massaging softly whilst sucking, his feet pressing harder at the floorboard from the paradise he's been wanting with you and only you.

When you see how much of an effect it has on Jeongguk, you continue your bliss, sucking and sucking until his hands grasp the sides of your ribcage causing you to gasp in surprise. Without a second to blink, your back is crashed against the seat cushion with Jeongguk hovering above you, strands of his hair glistening over his eyes, his chest heaving as his hands rest on either side of you. Your eyes are wide from the sudden action, but when he lowers to place his lips near your ear, a tingling sensation waves across your figure.

"I don't know if you've ever been fucked in a limo.” He growls. “But I'm gonna make sure you, my dear, will never forget it."

Oh. Fuck. His fingertips feel for your underwear that he slides down to your ankles. He doesn’t even take a second to admire what type of underwear it is before he comes back to kiss you.

You are so aroused that your vaginal walls are sopping wet before Jeongguk slams his erection into you. He drums so hard that you can't help the screams of pleasure that are gratefully unheard from the vibration of the speakers reverberating within the small space. This is when you realize music must have started playing to drown out the sounds Stan most likely does not want to hear.

Your hands clasp roughly to Jeongguk’s sides which regains your focus. He pounds so rhythmically with the bass of whatever song is playing, your g-spot is being stroked with each thrust. The growing climax sends your eyes rolling back. Jeongguk slows for a moment though and aligns his body with yours still keeping himself inside you. You watch him while your chest heaves.

He lifts a finger to trace along your cheek until he caresses your bottom lip with his thumb. You are uncertain why he has stopped, but you are thankful neither of you have cummed too soon because you are not ready for this to end. Even though it has to… Oh, shut the fuck up brain.

“You’re not going to the airport today.” His eyes shift from a lust to a softness that reminds you of when he first became your friend. You want to sit up in surprise, but you don’t because you like Jeongguk’s body being on top of you and his erection keeping its rightful place inside you.

“What do you mean? I’m supposed to leave today.”

“I… Have made other arrangements.”

“Did you cancel the flight!? How!?”

“Well, no… But I can reimburse you for the inconvenience of missing your flight.”

“Are you…” In honesty, you are not upset at all. Your heart is flying so high with relief, you could cry. A smirk graces your tingling lips. “Are you kidnapping me, Jeon Jeongguk?”

“Only if you let me,” he winks, pressing a slow kiss to your bruised lips. “Otherwise, the airport I will take you but only if you say so.”

“What about my job? I have to go back at some point.”

Sadness etches in the corner of his eyes while he exhales slowly. “How about we worry about that tomorrow? … I don’t want to lose you. Not again.”

You don’t either.

Your hand reaches to tangle in his hair while you pull him to kiss you. He starts thrusting again, but this time nice and slow while your tongue swirls with his. The two of you are so lost in intimacy that neither of you notices the pause of the limo and the dimming of the music. It's Jeongguk who jolts away immediately, stuffing his being back into his pants, scrabbling to buckle his belt before it dawns on you that the limo is no longer moving. Swiftly, you fix your dress, running your hands through your hair in panic, also hoping your makeup isn't smeared all over.

Your throbbing heat is relentless, and you squeeze your thighs to try and relieve some of the sensitivity, but it's no use. Once Stan opens the door, you and Jeongguk smile at him trying to hide the fact the two of you were literally having intercourse directly behind his back.

Stan squints his eyes in suspicion when he notices how embarrassed the two of you chuckle when leaving the limo, but he brushes it off, him tipping his hat for a farewell. You grasp Jeongguk’s hand while your other hand clings to your luggage. You do not know where you are, but you are assuming it’s where Jeongguk lives.

“My roomates are still shooting scenes for the movie we’re in, so we have this whole place to ourselves for the time being.” Jeongguk beams. Your feet move faster than they ever have as he follows suit to the front door. He chuckles at how cute your eagerness is because he is just as giddy, too. Being with you just comes so naturally even after all this time. The moment you reach the door, you spin around, dragging his mouth to yours.

Your back hits against the front door nearly bringing you to your knees while he follows your lead. You throw your arms around his neck as his hands press into your waist; the two of you rebuild the itching desire that had been interrupted. The pure addiction of Jeongguk’s lips on yours is everything you could have dreamed of, so you hate that you have to break the kiss just for him to unlock the door. Snatching his hand once more, you kick off your heels, him slipping out of his shoes while your luggage tips over somewhere near the door.

You follow him up the stairs until both of you are safe in his bedroom. He locks the door behind him once he turns on the lights, and that's when he tackles you lovingly once again, kissing your mouth roughly. Your hands pull off his shirt and in return, he unzips the back of your dress.

When your lacy undergarments taunt his enlarging eyes, you step away from your dress, giving him a seductive smile. Now he notices your thong. Sliding your fingers slowly to your entrance, you coat your digits with the wetness he's caused you, stepping forward to carefully smear it on his lips. His eyes close while his staggered breaths relish in your scent, urging to taste you, he clamps his warm mouth around your fingers, his teeth grazing your skin while he sucks.

"I want you, Jeongguk." You whisper. "I want you to never stop wanting me."

That's all it takes before he squats to wrap his arms underneath your ass, lifting you effortlessly in the air prompting a fit of giggles. He sprints to his bed and crashes you onto it. Once the bounce of your bodies settles, his hands desperately tear your thong from your frame as well as your lace bra, his mouth leaving tenderly placed kisses along your ribcage before your trembling hands move to rid of his pants. Unbuckling his belt, Jeongguk helps you free himself from his pants and underwear- every article of clothing between the both of you finally plopped on the ground.

Unexpectantly, he rolls you above him, pressing your bare chest against him, his teeth nipping your ear lobe before his breath haunts your ear in the sexiest, deep voice you've ever heard. "If I'm going to taste you properly, I want it all over my face."

Oh. Shit.

Jeongguk clings onto your hips once you get into position. You move with him until your folds are above his starving mouth. Now with his heated palms smoothed along your ass, you lower yourself just enough until you hear the sudden sound of his lips caressing along your heat bringing a moan to escape your throat. "Ohhh, baby." You breathe. His tongue circles your heat slowly before he roughly flicks it against you, delighting in your taste while your head thrusts back in ecstasy.

You've never had sex so good- especially with the way his tongue licks so effortlessly underneath your clenching vaginal walls. Your thighs quiver from how strong your climax is building. His lips cover your clit, sucking before returning his tongue to lick rapidly among your slit.

"Ohhh, Jeongguuk." You can hardly concentrate, him continuing his mission until you slide back, forcing him to raise, his bangs now clinging to his perspired forehead. His lips part just to land to kiss your chin where the scent from your folds is fresh on his lips.

He’s starving for you, and you learn right then that he wasn’t done. His hand finds your chest where he pushes you down until your back bounces on the mattress. His fingers find your nipples first where the ticklish feel from the rising buds causes the fire below to heighten. Whimpering in response to the pleasure, his mouth latches onto your nipple while his tongue dances along it.

You beg for him as he pleasures you. The intensity of how turned on you are is so heavenly, you could do this forever. He then kisses along your body until he stops at where he originally feasted and you can see the lust in his eyes before he dives in, lapping up every bit of you while he slides gentle fingertips to then vibrate along your clit. “Oh Guk! Oh baby- ah!” You moan feeling how strong your sense pleads to orgasm while your eyes roll back in ecstasy. His tongue is relentless while he licks along your heat.

When you think he’s done, he repositions to where you are sitting on his face again while his large hands cup your ass.

"Now." He says, his lips tickling your skin when you both find yourselves hazy and twisted together. "Where were we before we were interrupted?"

"I think I remember." You whisper musingly, him rolling you to crash under him- his penis finds your entrance before you can catch a breath, and that's when he starts. Pumping into your walls that are warm and drenched, your screams of delight ring throughout his room, letting Jeongguk enthrall every single one of your senses until your legs nearly give out. You moan his name. You moan profanities. You moan it fucking all. "Harder!" Your voice breaks. "Harder! Oh!"

Your climax hits you suddenly and strongly prompting you to squirt slightly which turns Jeongguk on even more than he already is. Your legs jolt beneath him while he spills inside you. You’re still screaming in pleasure from the high when he falls next to you, him leaking down your mid-thighs while you squeeze them for friction. Both of you hyperventilating, the sensitivity still presents between your legs while you two try to recover.

"Holy shit." You breathe. "Where the hell have you been again? Holy fuck."

A deep chuckle sounds from Jeongguk’s pearly smile, his eyes gleaming from the happiness he feels with you finally by his side. When his long fingers intertwine with yours, you furrow your eyebrows, shifting to rest on your side so that way you can see all of him easier.

Preparing to speak, his free hand reaches to tuck a strand of your fallen hair behind your ear rendering you speechless. Though you've kept your feelings private for so long, he's always made your heart palpitate; but, with everything that has happened, where do either of you start?

You lean your cheek into his palm where he rests it, him moving to sit up just enough to brush his lips to yours before pressing kisses on every inch of your face, his sudden passion surprising you, especially when he turns you to lay you back down just so he can lounge in your beauty from above.

“I like you naked.” He teases causing you to playfully scoff when you shove him. His chuckling smile kisses your smile while you enjoy the feel of his warm skin and the high of his presence. “I’ve missed you…” He whispers when the moment becomes serious which hitches your breathing.

Missing Jeongguk is an understatement. You’ve wished to see him again but never thought it would actually happen. You know you shouldn’t ask this, but it has tormented you since he left that you can’t help it. Hearing those words from him should have made your heart swell, but then the picture that changed everything years ago seems to be in the forefront of your mind now. “Then… why did you choose her?”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows scrunch as his lips pucker. The confusion is so apparent that you start to feel the budding sense of humiliation. He met a girl at Konkuk, right? The picture showed it all… Right?

“I mean I dated here and there later on in college, but I had to get over losing you.”

You shift to sit up as Jeongguk’s body rolls off you. What does he mean?

“But you wouldn’t have lost me if you hadn’t chosen to be with her. I mean, c’mon, Guk you hardly talked to me once you left. I spent countless nights wondering what I had done wrong! I knew you’d be busy, but I never thought, nor did I want to believe it’s because you found someone else.”

He tries so hard to understand what you are talking about as he reads your panicked gaze. But… you blocked him? Why would you block him unless you moved on too? He is uncertain of the girl you are talking about, but he listens as best as he can while he racks his brain of what happened seven years ago.

“Y/N…” He says calmly. “Can you please tell me what you are talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Guk! The picture! You had your arm wrapped around another girl! What else was I supposed to think? Do you know how destroyed I was?”

Jeongguk flits his sight to the comforter while the pair of you start to distance from your sweaty frames. The smell of sex is starting to fade, and you bundle the comforter over your chest while Jeongguk’s lower-half slips under the covers. When realization enlarges his eyes, his heart drops to his stomach. Now, he knows what you’re talking about.

“Wait… Yoongi’s girlfriend?”

“Yoongi? I thought-”

Jeongguk’s eyes search yours as if he is trying to get you to telepathically see his memories. “Me and Jin were at the hospital for a few days because Yoongi was in the hospital from- from the accident.” He wets his lips. “Sun Hee was just a friend of mine, and she was stressed from it all, so I was just trying to be there for her. We weren’t dating! I’m pretty sure we’re even related somehow.”

“Wait- wait a minute, what?” The heat hovering over your chest is intensely overwhelming when you realize the huge mistake you have made. “You mean-?”

“When I came home, I tried to get a hold of you so I could tell you everything, but I was blocked! Even years later, I tried checking social media every now and then so I could find you again, but it was like you disappeared!” Jeongguk is pouring his heart out to you meanwhile tears of utter humiliation form and begin to drip in so much regret, you can’t believe the fog in your head is allowing you to compute his every word. “Why didn’t you talk to me first? Why didn’t you let me know you were hurt?” Jeongguk’s voice is pained as he continues. “I could have explained everything! I even showed up at your place a few months after, but you weren’t home.” He doesn’t mention your dad since none of this involves either of your parents especially when he sees your reaction.

“You… came back?”

“Of course, I did! I was in love with you, y/n! I even planned to tell you about Konkuk’s mix up! They sent you the wrong letter. You were accepted. I had it all ready and planned out to surprise you! There was never anybody else, it was always you!”

The world stops. Everything just stops. The words you have longed and hoped and wished and prayed have just been said to you by Jeon Jeongguk. The man you have loved to no end. You can’t move. You don’t budge. This embarrassment is so deep and severe, you just want to run.

That’s why Jeongguk asked you why.

“Y/N? Y/N?” Jeongguk reaches to hold you.

“I was accepted into Konkuk? You- you got it fixed for me? You-”

Your head is spinning, nothing makes sense anymore. All this time, you were robbed of being with Jeongguk because of you. Not him, not fate, not destiny, not your parents, not the girl, not Konkuk University:

you.

Dropping the covers, you race to gather your things. You don’t even know if your flight has left yet. You don’t even know the time, but you must go home before you ruin everything again.

“Y/N? Please. Please hold on-”

You blur out his voice while you fumble to grab your things. Jeongguk tries to stop you, his eyes pleading- begging. You don’t know how you remembered Stan’s phone number that Taehyung happened to text you after the argument, but you manage to shoot Stan a text despite the chaos. All you hope is he is right down the road.

Somehow you find a way down the stairs while tears pour non-stop. How will you ever forgive yourself for the mess you made? Grabbing your suitcase, you struggle to put on your shoes while Jeongguk tries to slip on his. When Stan arrives, you jump into the backseat where you and the man of your dreams made love paining you as you sob. He’s frantically begging you not to leave but you can’t bring yourself to now that you finally know the truth. You don’t even give Stan time to help you. Rather, you fling your suitcase into the back seat and slam the door before Jeongguk reaches you.

“Y/N! Please don’t go! Please! We can figure this out!”

It’s all crashing down so hard as you hear Jeongguk’s voice. You beg Stan to hurry, and as the limo turns to head to the airport, you see the man you love more than anything falling to his knees in mirroring agony.

{24}

It’s him.

It has always been him.

Your hands grip the steering wheel until your knuckles are white as your eyes stay focused on the road ahead. You barely made your flight that day, and with hushed tears, the whole flight was nothing but heavy misery.

When you made it home, you were too tired to pack anything, so you stayed bundled in you and Taehyung’s bed with no will to want to do anything other than cry. It took another week for Taehyung to return home and that’s when he convinced you to give the relationship another try. You thought staying was what you deserved because after what you did to Jeongguk, you don’t deserve him anymore. And you still loved Taehyung even if it wasn’t completely to the fullest as it should have been.

It was when the movie Jeongguk and his friends were in blew up all around the world that you started seeing his face everywhere. Every picture, every magazine, every interview on television. Taehyung, naturally, questioned about everything that happened between you and ‘that actor’ as he refers to Jeongguk, so you summarized as vaguely as you could which still wasn’t enough for Taehyung. Of course, you suppress the guilt as much as you can since that is all you have seemed to feel anymore.

“There is someone from my past that means the absolute world to me and always will.” Jeongguk’s words from the interview that prompted Taehyung to leave echoes silently in the car. “This person encouraged me and believed in me even when I didn’t know it. They said to not be afraid anymore. So, I took that advice and I’m thankful I did. Now, I’ve gained brotherhood and my dreams have come true.” The remote almost slipped from your hand while you stared in shock. You knew Taehyung needed to know the truth because Jeongguk was your truth.

The fight and the breakup are still fresh, but now that it’s dark, you wipe your fingers along your face to rid of the new tears.

Jeongguk is known by the whole world now. Globally. He really did accomplish the dreams that you knew he could and would reach. He is going to make history for the rest of his life, and you will cheer him on no matter what distance. No matter what time. You will always cheer him on. Because he deserves it all.

The bleachers of the soccer field. That is where you wanted to escape to.

Stepping down the metal seats, you find the infamous spot where you would secretly watch Jeongguk all those years ago as well as the times the friendship bloomed, and he would come see you every day before your dad picked you up.

You smile through the tears as you descend into the spot. The tall lights glisten with the stars as you sit back enough to feel the breeze and you can smell the mist of the humidity from the earlier evening rain. You don’t know how much time passes, nor do you care. You just want to be here where Jeongguk used to be so you can relive all the memories and create memories you wish you could have shared with him during the years you took away.

Unexpectedly, you hear the familiar pounce of footsteps making their way down the bleachers perking your ear drums to tune into the sound. You are not sure who it could be at this time of night, and you also aren’t sure if you should be afraid. You stiffen immediately once the steps stop. Silence.

“…Y/N?”

Standing in response ever so excruciatingly slow. You cannot believe the voice you are hearing. No way.

His voice is soft as flower petals when he says your name, and the tears brim as you turn to face him with unshed happiness blossoming along your heart because Jeon Jeongguk in the flesh is standing there with hope mingled with stunned nervousness evident in his expression. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

Swiping a tear, you hardly can believe it yourself, but now you understand why you felt the urge to come here. It’s because you were meant to because the stars were aligning for him to be here too. Where it all started. “I didn’t know you’d be here either.”

“I come here when I-”

“Need an escape.”

“And, to think about you.”

Your chin quivers as you keep his eyes connected with yours. It’s been a year since you have seen him, yet it still seems so fresh as if it all happened just yesterday. “I’m so sorry.” You whisper, trying to stifle a sob. “It was all my fault that we missed out on so many years we could have been together. It’s honestly even been years since I have been here. But something… something fueled me to come here, and here I am.”

“Well…” Jeongguk clears his throat while he slips his cold fingers into his pockets. “I have a new rule for you.”

Looking at him, you wait for his response while you wipe at another tear that escapes.

“Please don’t say you’re sorry anymore. You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“But I do.” You sniff to clear your airways. “I should have spoken to you the second I saw that damned picture, but I… I was so hurt and panicked that I let my selfishness take over when you needed me the most…

If I would have just waited for your call. Things would have been different. I should have asked about your friend, too. He was hurt and even though, I didn’t know him personally, I should have asked about him. Asked about you and how you were doing. If Jin was okay. There- there should have been consideration, but I let me get in the way of… Me. And I’m so sorry… Even for a year ago, the humiliation devastated me that I didn’t know how to face you. I think… I think I needed time to forgive myself for taking away time I could have spent being with you.” You stare down at your hands that are quivering from the anxiety.

“We still have time.” Jeongguk murmurs. After a few seconds of silence, he speaks. “Now, come here.”

Flitting your gaze in surprise, it’s as if the tradition never ended, but this time, there will not be a single goodbye after this embrace. Immediately, you sprint to crash into his arms, bundling into his frame while the sobs are relentless. “It’s you, Guk. It’s always been you. I’m so proud of you and all you have accomplished. I will never stop cheering you on or supporting you. You are everything to me.” He squeezes you so tight and fights to prevent his own tears from spilling onto your hair that tucks beneath his chin. He isn’t going to let you go. He holds you while you let it all out, crying all the guilt and the regret into his clothes while he comforts you the way he always will.

Into the evening, the pair of you find yourselves sitting on the bleachers staring at the stars where fingers are interlaced. This time you found the courage to grab his hand, sitting so close that shoulders are touching while the moon glistens above. Early memories begin to bud.

“Remember in elementary school when you took the blame for me smacking Kevin?”

A sly smile fills Jeongguk’s face. “Do I! That was the best day of my life!”

You look at him incredulously. “You went to the principal’s office!”

“I know, but you smacked Kevin before I could, so I wanted to take some credit.”

“Oh God, then why were you his friend later on?”

Jeongguk’s lips press in a firm line. “He didn’t have the best life growing up… Found him in tears one day so I gave him a chance. Then we lost touch.” He shrugs.

“Well, I hope he’s okay.”

“Me too.”

Silence lingers for a moment before you continue, “I guess my point of bringing up that whole situation is because that was the day, I started having feelings for you.” The serenity that collects in his gaze while he locks eyes with you breathes life into your heart just as strongly as his presence has the entirety of the night. “I don’t want to lose you anymore, Guk.” You whisper. “I’m done losing you.”

Jeongguk’s eyes reflect serene emotion and after a few minutes of him moving forward to press a slow, sweet kiss to your forehead, you then notice his free hand moves to retrieve a square box from his jacket pocket. Pulling away slightly, you stare at the box then to Jeongguk, then the box and then back to Jeongguk. Speechless.

“I bring this with me every single time I visit here, but I didn’t realize the exact moment I needed would present itself.” He shifts to face you more while you stare in stunned silence. “This is a gift I’ve been wanting to give you for years… I got it back when I started college. The second I saw it, I saved up all I could so I could surprise you.” He then hands it to you. “Open it.”

Tears are in your eyes as you bring shaky fingers to your lips. You reach for the gift and lift the lid cautiously to see the most beautiful shimmering necklace you have ever seen. The diamonds smile back at you while the symbol of a page from a script beams in the moonlight. “I know it’s not exactly how we met, but it is definitely what brought us together.”

“Jeongguk!” You cry, as he reaches for the necklace. You move slightly as he helps you put it on. You can’t take your eyes off the symbol. How did he even find something so perfect and so beautiful? “Guk, I- I love it so much! I don’t- I don’t even- I haven’t-”

His hands find your cheeks to force you to look into his eyes which ceases your panic.

“You are enough.” He means every word and you feel his heart connecting with yours beyond what you can fathom. “Also,” he smiles excitingly. “The offer still stands at Konkuk University if you still want to attend. There’s plenty slots open.”

“Oh, Guk!” You burst with elation. Immediately, he leans into you, pressing his lips to yours igniting the magic that comes alive because the pair of you have finally found each other and refuse to let it diminish. Not anymore.

“I love you.” You gasp between kisses. “I never stopped loving you.” You cling to him while he deepens the kisses, pulling you even closer.

“I love you, more...”  He whispers. “And I will never stop.”

#btswritingcafe #jeon jeongguk #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #jeongguk fanfic #jeongguk fic #jeon jungkook #bts angst #bts smut #bts soft #jeongguk smut #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #taehyung #bts taehyung #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #jungkook x reader #jeongguk x reader #jungkook x you #jeongguk x you #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you

[moonshynecybin]

if you wouldn't mind can i have your thoughts on how the first meeting goes between uccio and marc in the same age au?

prompt #1! sorry i didnt actually do their first meeting i just crawled inside of uccio's head and rummaged around in there concerning marc in this scenario... if anyone wants more of this au PLEASEEEE go read this fic an anon wrote in this universe im obsessed with it....

“I don’t like him.”

Vale’s head tries to raise, forever unstill, and Uccio pushes it back into place. “Stay put, you’re going to make me smear it.”

“It’s hair, it’ll grow back. How do I look?”

“Blue.”

He hums, easy, and maybe that’s all Vale will say about it. About Marquez. Because he absolutely knows who Uccio is talking about—He’s been talking about Marquez all fucking week, still heated over a last-lap pass in Barcelona that had smoke coming out of his ears even as he smiled and waved on the podium. Sunflower yellow and nearly as tall as Marquez despite being a step lower. But Vale plays his cards close to his chest, and there’s a good chance he’ll go quiet, change the topic. Do the thing he does when he’s upset, where he just pretends nothing happened.

There’s a silent moment, Vale fiddling with a key ring as Uccio tries not to slop hair dye on his ears. Vale’s foot is bouncing up and down, fast. Music floats in from the speaker in the corner. The CD is scratched— it keeps catching, a fraught line of tension that drags at Uccio, raising his hackles.

Vale speaks.

“Who?” He says, head still bent down. Uccio can’t see his face. It’s a farce, Vale just wants to pretend he hasn’t been thinking about it. About him. Uccio lets him.

“Marquez.” He says. “He’s dirty, always pushing too hard on the inside. Dangerous, I don’t like him.”

It’s true. Marquez is reckless— makes Vale even more so, tearing impulsive streaks through his riding style, pushing him to lean further, brake later. Anything to keep up.

It’s been changing Vale— he’s been changing Vale, merging them together until the lines between them are blurred. Coalescing into something singular as they learn from each other. Vale’s even been hitting the gym lately, no doubt inspired by Marquez. It’s different. Odd. Vale is so himself, it chafes to see him react to others so strongly.

Marquez really is inside his head.

“Hmm.” Is all Vale says, “That’s true.”

Uccio waits. He doesn’t say anything else.

Which is ridiculous. Uccio saw them together, the last time they raced in Italy. Saw the barely restrained tension between them in the pre-race interview. Saw Vale laugh in the way he only does when he’s pissed off.

It should be normal for Vale to jump on the dog pile— easy for him to pick up Uccio’s thread here. To come up with clever insults. To jab at Marquez’s height or his laugh. Find some flaw to pick apart and spin funny stories about. Common practice. They’ve done it before, about Marquez, even.

But Vale’s not doing that. He’s picking at his nails. His foot still jabbering away at the floor.

And Uccio hasn’t just seen the two of them when they're caught in the cruelty of competition. Of comparison. He’s also seen them after the race, on the top step of the podium. Faces split wide in identical smiles. Real ones. Laughing.

He’s seen them duck out of the bathroom together, color high on their cheeks.

And he’s seen Vale looking.

It’s weird, what’s going on with Marquez and Vale. It prickles under Uccio’s skin, unsettles him. It has always been him and Vale. Always. But Marquez is— Marquez is like another Vale. Gets racing in ways Uccio can’t. Spends time with him every weekend, practically, in the paddock. Occupies his space.

And now, this.

He doesn’t need Vale distracted.

He finishes painting the back of Vale’s head, a bright dusky blue, and snaps his gloves into the trash.

It looks like shit.

#motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez #my fic #same age au #prompts

[tunaababee]

Feysand drabbles/fics from the angst/fluff prompt list!

72. “You need sleep.” and/or

94. “I won’t lose you too.”

Please and thank you!💕

72. "You need sleep." thanks for this @asnowfern!! i just hope im doing these babies justice. im hoping i can get around to the second prompt sometime soon if the inspo strikes!!

if anyone wants to send others in, im more than happy to still take requests for it!!

There were always little constants in life that could be relied upon rain, hail or shine. Some a comfort - the way the stars constantly shined with the same fervour above Velaris, the beauty in the changing of seasons, the warmth from those she loved. Then there were the few that were nuisances.

Laundry. Taxes.

Or, in Feyre’s case, the debilitating bout of art block she couldn’t seem to shake.

She dragged her stool back from the canvas, the sound of wood scraping on wood feeling like it was rattling around in the depths of her skull as it echoed through the studio. Classes were on a small break, to give her and Ressina a breather and prepare for a particularly large batch of incoming students. It always warmed her heart with how quickly the people of the Rainbow had embraced their little studio and it brought her such quiet joy.

But right now, Feyre was just about ready to hurl a tube of paint at the canvas in the hopes that it’d shape up a bit better. This wasn’t feeling like the breather she had intended for at all.

She perched herself back onto the stool, arms resting upon her knees as she stared out the window behind her incomplete canvas. No matter how many walks she took or notes of inspiration she stowed away for later, nothing seemed to be sticking. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel like creating - if anything, that was half the problem. All she wanted to do was create but nothing her hands were making was sating the urge she felt in the pit of her stomach, gnawing at the back of her head.

Feyre stared at the canvas with a furrowed brow, deep in contemplation. Originally it had started out as a slightly more abstract portrait of Rhys, but when it wasn’t quite panning out she had started over and tried to angle for something more rooted in realism - a study of the cityscape from the view that the studio afforded her. But she wasn’t quite nailing the details, none of the satisfaction that typically surrounded the process. Back to the drawing board. Now, she didn’t even know what she was looking at. It was definitely abstract. But beyond that, she didn’t know. There was nothing speaking to her, no vision calling to her with even a rough idea of what it could turn out to be.

So she stepped across the room firmly, continuing to play with the colours in her palette and the brushstrokes on the canvas to see if she could salvage anything out of this little experiment.

The determination clouded her other senses, ignoring the waning moonlight and the small prickle on the back of her neck that would have told her that her beloved had quietly slipped into the room. Instead, she let out a small squeak as Rhysand’s arms slid around her waist, gently tugging her closer as he moved to rest his chin on her shoulder.

“Evening, darling.” Rhys quietly purred into her ear, a small smile breaking across Feyre’s face. She turned to press a kiss to his cheek, but he caught her lips with his before she could, gentle and soft.

“Evening to you too. What brings you to my humble little studio?” There was a quiet laugh in her words, her eyes turning back to the canvas even when she could feel his still firmly locked on her.

“Well, I had finally finished up all my dull paperwork for the night only to find our bed empty and my wonderful mate nowhere to be found. Obviously, I’m here to rectify the issue.”

Rhys’ hands moved to Feyre’s hips, his mouth trying to find purchase on her neck when she moved from his grip to put her palette and brush down near the canvas. Maybe if she could work in some of the same shade of purple Feyre could see in his eyes, this piece might start shaping up.

“You’re finished already? I’ve barely even made progress on this... thing. I don’t know what it is yet.” Feyre began to rifle through the paints they had to find the perfect shades to mix as she spoke. Rhysand barked a laugh, that signature smirk spreading across his perfect features. He slipped his hands into his pockets, merely watching his mate for a beat.

“Feyre darling, you’ve been here for quite a few hours now. It’s long past midnight.”

Feyre stopped in her tracks - she knew she had a tendency to get lost in her work, but had she really been stuck on this piece for that long? She immediately stopped what she was doing, hurriedly putting the paints back before crossing the room to the studio window. Leaning out of the window, she could definitely see the moon was past its peak in the sky. Before she could ruminate on it much further, Rhysand turned her around, sitting her on the windowsill before coming to stand between her legs. He rested his brow against hers, eyes boring into her with an intensity that she could never get enough of.

“I’m still stuck though, I need-”

“You need sleep.”

Feyre couldn’t help but huff slightly at him - he was right, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.

“Maybe. But I do need to clean up first, at least.”

With a snap of his fingers, the canvas was leaned against the wall in an out of the way corner, stool tucked under a table, paints put away - everything righted without a second thought.

“And I need to have my mate with me in our bed, lest I go insane without her.” Rhys tugged her closer with a chuckle, chest pressed against hers. Any other day, an inexplicable heat that only he could ever elict would have bloomed in her chest and shot straight to her stomach. But tonight, they were simply exhausted and Feyre couldn’t help but melt into his arms, her own moving up to slide around his neck.

“Then take me home, Rhys.”

“Always my pleasure, darling.”

She kissed him again, firm and passionate, as he winnowed them back into the warmth of their home.

The next day, she had finished her piece - a painting of legs and arms tangled amongst each other, holding one another, tangled in inky black sheets.

#feysand #feyre archeron #rhysand #acotar #fanfiction

[strangelockd]

Hii!! How are u? 🥰

Could you write something with the prompts 7.“how mad would you be if i kissed you?” and 2.“my lipgloss is all over your lips.” from the fluff list with Stephen pls

Fates Embrace

Smut - Explicit content - NSFW - 18+ only!

Pairing: Sinister Strange x FemReader

Summary: Your sick at the Sanctum and Stephen being poor with words tries to comfort you in his own special way leading to a much greater surprise.

•Im slowly chipping away at my requests and this one was so long overdue. I really tried keeping it fluff but i couldn’t help myself. There were many directions that this fic could have taken but I hope you love it. The story was inspired by Harry Styles and you can find the song on my Sinister Playlist•

“Sinister was fully convinced that if you tasted half as divine as the forbidden fruit of Eve, then he absolutely understood her succumb to the surrender of temptation”

You had been nauseous for days, and no amount of rest seemed to make it better. With a shaking hand, you reached for the bed pan, the cool porcelain a welcome contrast to your already warm skin. Setting the bed pan on the floor, you groaned, wiping the leftover vomit from your cheek. Yep you definitely were sick no doubt. Despite having everything you needed from herbal tea to nausea medication, Sinister still paced the room in a worry for your health; you are his world after all.

Leaning against the foot of the bed Sinister pawed the comforter on the four poster bed, “are you sure there's nothing else I can do for you my love,” eyeing you like a hawk he was seeking your gaze making sure you were not just playing the hero. Stephen could always see right through your poker face. Letting out a small hum you smiled reassuring him, “Babe relax, it's just a little bug. You as a doctor even said it's more than likely a common cold, trust me I will be fine in a few days.”

Sinisters chilled hands slowly slithered from the warmth of the blankets, searching for your feet, which were hidden under the many layers of blankets, “Yes yes I know my pet, it's just that I can’t help but worry for you so,” his grip tightened more around your ankles as if you would disappear like smoke. Sinister had always felt alone in the world, and he had never expected to find someone who could make him feel so connected and loved. He had believed that he could never be happy, but you knew deep down that Sinister was willing to do anything to keep you in his life. The thought of losing you was unbearable to him, and it felt like his own personal hell.

Seeing the worry laced in his eyes you shot him a comforting smile,“Stephen, trust me I'm not going anywhere. You know i'm with you forever in this life,” extending your arms outwards beckoning him to join you. Sinister for a second was taken aback; feeling a sudden warmth spread over him he couldn't help but grin, his heart swelled with your irrevocable love so much that he could burst. Letting out a soft contented sigh he couldn't help but feel unbrimmed joy for being so wanted by such a divine woman. For how could he say no to his queen, the very person he would sacrifice his own life for.

Kicking off the heavy boots they made a slight thump against the wooden floorboards as your husband manifested a beautiful purple indigo smoke. The smoke cascading around him as he opted to change into his comfiest pair of dark purple pajamas leaving you in awe. You have been with him for years and even doing basic things, Sinister was the pure definition of elegance and it bever failed to leave you breathless. Feeling the weight of his form shift on the mattress, Sinister slowly made his way across the burgundy comforter. He snuggled close to you, wrapping himself in the warmth of the covers sighing contentedly.

Sinisters scarred hands reached over to gently cup your jaw placing a delicate kiss to your forehead. He nuzzled his nose against yours adding softly, “…In this life. And the next my love. For I have crossed oceans of time to find you and I will never lose you,” his finger traced your cheek softly as his blue eyes searched yours, the sentiment making you blush a deeper red. Placing a hand above his you leaned in to his touch, batting your lashes softly you couldn't help but melt into his eyes that reflected your very own.

“And you'll always have me, Stephen Strange,” breathing in his scent you closed your eyes, “For my heart and soul are yours and yours alone,” breaking the gap Sinister leaned into your lips. The sudden connection made you moan as he traced your lower lip with his tongue tasting your skin. It was so hypnotic, so mesmerizing that you suddenly snapped back to reality pulling away not wanting him to catch your cold. Feeling your resistance his strong hands only pulled you flush to his chest.

“Babe, don’t! You'll catch whatever I got,” you protested. Sinister couldn't help but chuckle at your declaration.

“Darling, I'm a man with the power of gods. It will take more than a cold to stop me from adoring you”, feeling the brush of his goatee against your delicate earlobe. His lips were so close to yours that you could feel his heat radiating from them. His lips ghosted your collarbone, his breath sweet and warm as he continued to ghost across your soft skin, sending a shiver of pleasure through your body and a fire of desire awakening in your core. Cocking his head to the side Sinister gently pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger, eyes laced with mischief he had a better idea in mind.

“How mad would you be if I kissed that beautiful mouth of yours?” He smirked, taking note of your sudden tight grip on the crimson sheets. Hes such a fucking tease…

Pulling away once more in an attempt to resist, you looked into his eyes and you could clearly tell that all your husband wanted to do was to be there to make you feel good no matter what. “I dunno,” biting your lip you smirked, “why not find out.” The familiar feeling of his hands slithered against the back of your neck as he pulled you in slowly, kissing you once more he tasted the sweetness of your lips. The essence of strawberries sticking to his mind imprinted on his eidetic memory forever. He wanted to drown in you for the rest of his days. You both pulled away chuckling like a couple of school kids as his hands sought your face tracing your jawline, his breath welcoming against your soft delicate flesh.

“Delicious,” he cooed, giving your lower lip a gentle nip.

Damn him…

Sinister always brought you great joy even on days you were not at your best, times when you were sure he would leave after seeing your unsavory sides. You knew that deep down he would walk through fire for you, proving all too well his devotion time and time again leaving you with no doubts. Sinisters hands trailed down your curves resting at the slope of your hips guiding you to his lap. You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his once more as his hands traced your thighs gripping them firmly. Pulling away to look into your eyes he smiled brushing your cheek with unbridled admiration.

“I love you y/n,” he proclaimed, palms giving a slight tremble, “you know that right?”

Your heart swelled at the profession of his words only for them to taper, it broke your heart knowing he was alone for so long and yet still felt uncertainty about your devotion. Years if self loathing convinced him that his blackened heart was too difficult to bear, that he was a burden and needed to hide from the light forever. But here you are loving it through all the dirt to bare something of a diamond underneath the crevice of his newly alivened heart.

Heart racing you leaned in kissing him deeper, showing him how much he truly means to you. His moans drowning all thought as you pulled away looking him in the eyes. “And I love you Stephen Strange. I always have,” nibbling his earlobe in return you felt his grip tighten. You were sure there would be mark’s later no doubt, but in the moment you couldn’t care less. He growled pulling you in for another kiss, taking note of your nightgown riding up your thighs he smirked suddenly flipping you to once more your backside.

“Stephen!” You cried feeling him slither down between your thighs taking note of what's below. Or lack thereof.

“Hmm no panties?” His eyes suddenly turning dark and piercing it shot right to your center causing you to involuntarily rock your hips against his goatee.

“Mmm ya,” giving a teasing smile, “Didn't feel like it,” flashing him a cheeky wink it only spurred him on more to dig into your needy heat inhaling your arousal.

“You naughty girl,” his voice laced with a husky desire as you felt the welcoming sensation of his fingers slipping deeper into your thighs. His fingers gliding between the folds of your heat as his thumb traced circles around your clit.

“Always so wet for me my pet,” slipping two fingers inside he watched as your body writhed against his touch, “and my cock isnt even inside you yet,” he teased, pumping his digits at a steady pace. Sinister watched in awe as he felt your pussy clamp down like a vice around his fingers.

“You're such a good girl. Do you know that? Do you know how beautiful you look coming undone by my hands?” His eyes glowed under the light as he watched on, your legs trembling. He felt them spread wider, practically welcoming him to feast upon you. You get off on the praise, and he knows it all too well. Your body arched and pebbled against his touch as if you were fabricated just for him. Your reaction alone was enough to make his stiffened cock ache between his trousers. The only thoughts going through his mind were mine mine mine…like a sacred prayer only for you.

“I adore you. Your absolutely beautiful,” he purred, pressing his face into you deeper he traced his tongue over your wet folds making you moan deeper only urging him to need more. Sinister wanted to drown in your essence for this was his paradise and his alone, you locked around him wanting to be entangled in this state for eternity. Swirling your clit in a figure eight his mouth continued its assault as he felt your climax grip around his digits, you were close and nothing felt more sweeter or divine than this very moment. You moaning for him and only him alone. Your fingers laced through his ravenous strands pushing him deeper as his hands reached up, ripping the straps off your gown to expose your perfect bare breast on display. His hands immediately seeking your exposed nipples, giving them a gentle twist. It was just enough to send you over the edge as his right hand continued pumping in and out of your throbbing cunt claiming him only tighter.

Sinister takinging in the staggered rise and fall of your breath he placed his hand on the flat of your stomach in an attempt to steady yourself. For a moment he felt something…a heartbeat. But it…it can't be? His heart fluttered and flipped all at once with the sudden possible realization but there was something more pressing that demanded his attention and that was you.

“Ste-Stephen I’m gonna!”

The echo of your pleasured moans suddenly snapping him back to reality. This is the only thing he ever wants to do, be lost in you. Devoting every waking moment to your pleasure.

“That's it! That's my girl,” His thumb pressing firm circles on your clit as his lips traced yours, “your so beautiful when you come”

Your mouth shot open in a silent scream as you arched off the mattress, your heat riding his digits as he finger fucked you through your orgasm. The curling of his hand making you see stars, he truly did have magic hands in more ways than one.

Sinisters mind suddenly shot to the thought of what he felt in the base of your tummy. Tracing his palm over his chest he instinctively placed the other over your lower tummy, your elbows propped you up as your heart fluttered when you casted your gaze upon your husband.

“Stephen? What's wrong?” You asked with bated breath.

“Nothing my love,” he spoke with promise, his gaze still fixated on your belly, “hold on and let me see here”

At first the sensation was warm as if being cloaked by a blanket fresh from the dryer. A soft purple glow emitted from your abdomen as you both witnessed what was clearly a little baby in your belly no more than 10 weeks. The motions of its little arms made tears form in your eyes. You couldn't believe it, and neither could Sinister but here you are in fact pregnant.

You traced his features taking note of his reaction, noticing the swell of tears in his eyes he sniffled looking up at you, “And I thought I've seen everything,” you brushed a stray strang away from his forehead; he couldn't help but grin wide.

Come to think of it It's not like safe sex was a part of your repertoire. You both were more shocked it just took this long to finally happen.

“You're not upset, are you Stephen?” Your heart filled with sudden rising dread at the silly question. The seconds felt like minutes as you waited on for your husband's answer.

Eyes widened he practically leapt forward his hands sought yours as he paused just a fraction from your lips. You couldn't help but feel the sudden thrill of it, his unbridled excitement and joy seemed to penetrate every cell of your body. The comfort of his large hands made you lean into his touch, you took a breath as he craned his neck down ensuring you met his gaze. The calm timber of his voice was slow and smooth like the sweetest of chocolate and all you wanted was to melt into him.

“Heavens no my sweet angel. I am beyond thrilled. For you have given me all the more reason for being alive, and I couldn't possibly love you more than in this moment.”

Hearing the soft sniffles he leaned forward nuzzling foreheads peppering you with kisses that spoke of promise, you just couldn't believe that you are with child. Instinctively you couldn't help but draw his palm forward over your bare belly once more, the soft purple glow emitting from his palm glowed once more revealing the miracle underneath leading Sinister to smile.

“So much for you being sick,” he chuckled, kissing you once more. Rubbing your belly softly you placed a hand above his, joining the three of you in unison.

“Seems like the doctor is getting a little rusty with diagnosing,” you teased, feeling him give a playful yet gentle shove so as to not hurt you or the baby.

You smiled leaning in, nestling your face against his. “Oh hush now kiss me once more”

For a moment, all was still and peaceful and you never wanted it to end. Wrapping his arms around your waist you took in the warmth and familiarity of him. With a contented sigh, he whispered, "I love you."

Tears rolled down your cheek as his thumb took the liberty of wiping them away gently. Your lips sought his as you mended once more into each other like the sand meets the sea. You've kissed many times but yet somehow it feels like your millionth and first all wrapped up in one. Sinister was fully convinced that if you tasted half as divine as the forbidden fruit of Eve, then he absolutely understood her succumb to the surrender of temptation. For nothing ever tasted so sweet.

Masterlist

Spotify

@withalittlehoney @deepbatched @bakerstreethound @thealleydog @sassenach-on-the-rocks @blxckdragonfly @asherloki @pinkthick @stewardofningishzida @geeky-politics-46 @lokidokieokie @strangesgirls @silversword7000 @newavenger @icytrickster17 @lucimorningst4r @lady-harvey @evelyn-kingsley @battledress @budugu @kentucky-criedfricken @km-ffluv @datauthorress @azu21 @cemak @sobeautifullyobsessed @aphroditesdilemma @huxs-waifu @strangesslut @butchers-girl @strangesthirdeye @vickiee-mcmuffin @eternal---autumn @jasmarie2600 @kats72 @bobateadaydreams @iobsessoverfictionalmen

#doctor strange #benedict cumberbatch #doctor stephen strange #sinister strange #because benedict cumberbatch #stephen strange #doctor strange in the multiverse of madness #doctor strange 2 #dr stephen strange #dr strange #benedict cumberbatch imagine #benedict cumberbatch smut #benedict cumberbatch fan fic #sinister #sinister strange smut #sinister strange x you #sinister strange x reader #stephen strange x reader #doctor stephen strange x reader #stephen strange x female reader #doctor strange x you #doctor strange x female reader #doctor strange x reader #doctor strange x y/n #harry styles

[addisonstars]

"moonlight on the river"

written for day 7 of october for @jegulus-microfic with the prompt "moonlit"

436 words of fluff <33

The moon was shining, the stars twinkling, the lake glimmering like diamonds. And Regulus and James could have never been more in love. They were on one of their late night walks that they liked to occasionally take on a night like this. This one was different though, it wasn't a normal walk, James had some news that made him more fidgety than normal. 

“Would you cut that out James, it’s driving me insane.” Regulus said, gesturing to his hands moving in his pockets. Little did Regulus know that James could not not be fidgety; he was nervous. 

“I’m sorry, I”m sorry,” he pulled his hands out of his pockets, his hands no longer in contact with the square velvet box. 

Regulus frowned, “there’s no need to be sorry.” 

“I”m so-,” he cuts off, “Reg.” 

“Yeah?” Reg turns around, his face moonlit under the white light, making him look ethereal. 

Taking a deep breath, James starts talking. “I love you. A lot. Like a lot, a lot. I know you know that, and I just,” he stops. This was not at all how he intended this to go, but it’s too late to turn back now. “I, just, really, really, love you, and I was wondering, if you would,” He gets down on one knee, opening the box that he’s kept carefully hidden for the past couple weeks. 

“Yes.” 

James stares dumbfoundedly at Regulus. “I didn't even finish."

“Yes. What you say isn't going to change my answer Jamie, yes.” Regulus states, a small smile on his lips as he crouches down to James’ level on the planks of the little bridge. 

“I,” James breathes out, “ok, Regulus, but let me say it anyway. To make sure you're answering what you think you are, and not like yes, let’s go rob some graves.” Regulus rolls his eyes. James smiles nervously at Regulus, even though he knows he has nothing to be nervous about. “Will you, Regulus Black, marry me?” 

Regulus has tears forming in his eyes at those words, something that he’d always find amusing when people got proposed to. But he understands it now. He understands the fact that being so in love with someone brings up so many emotions that the only way to handle them is to cry. That being so in love with someone makes you want to cry at the pure joy and happiness they bring you. 

He finds his voice and leans forward, lips crashing together, arms wrapping around his Jamie. “Yes, yes, yes, a million times over, yes,” Reggie whispers against his fiancé’s lips. “Forever and always.”

RAHRAHRAH i love them so much i swear im so normal about them.

fic dedicated to caylen, whom i love very dearly

fic/title inspired by the song "moonlight on the river" by Mac DeMarco

-a.s.

#james potter #regulus black #jegulus #sunseeker #starchaser #jeggy #james x regulus #regulus x james #jegulus fluff #married jegulus #or really engaged jegulus #jegulus fic #jegulus microfic #moonlit #moonlight on the river #addisonstars mircofic tag #imagine this being set like in the gilmore girls scene where jesse gets pushed off into the river by luke #but its a night instead #yeah.

[bulletproofscales]

Hey my dude Could you write a lil fic where the maknae line are stressed due to exams or sth and they cope with food so they gradually gain weight but it only gets worse when exams are over bc they get pampered by the hyung line to the point where they break chairs and get stuck in doorways 👉🏻👈🏻 - your Prince Charming 😔🤙🏻

i already wrote something nearly exactly similar with the hyung line! if anyone is interested in reading that click HERE. 

but it was one of my first promtps and i felt like i could do this request more justice by digging into it a little more… it ended up being a 4-month-22k-words fic hope you enjoy!!

also im experimenting with adding my inspiration gifs into the fic, i feel like they add something, to me at least. gif credits will be at the end with links to the ops :) 

(if me answering and writing a prompt from 2019 doesnt give you hope about your request geting eventually finished, idk what will) 

A higher GPA, and a higher BMI

tags: namkook , chubby jungkook , fat jungkook mindless eating , stuck in furniture , oblivious weight gain , taejin , chubby taehyung , fat taehyung , student - TA relationship , public stuffings, stress eating , outgrowing clothes ,  sopemin , established relationship sope , chubby jimin , fat jimin , spoiling , breaking furtniture , confessions , miscommunication 

22k words 

AO3 LINK

Already having graduated college, Namjoon Seokjin Yoongi and Hoseok guarantee to help their younger friends with anything they need to hopefully get through this semester as smoothly as possible. 

Jimin Jungkook and Taehyung didn’t mean to push that guarantee to the extreme. 

Jungkook gravitated to Namjoon for help. STEM majors gotta stick together and all that. They weren’t exactly the same, but a lot of their classes overlapped at least at the early years that Jungkook finds himself in. So it wasn’t uncommon to find the two at the maknae’s shared apartment late at night hunched over a pile of exercise sheets and past exams. 

It wasn’t always like this though, Jungkook started college as valedictorian, top of his class effortlessly getting honors and getting into his dream school for bioengineering. But that confidence would be his downfall because nothing could’ve prepared him for the massive effort that you’re supposed to put into a college major. His first ruthlessly failed exam needing an emergency call to Namjoon from Jungkook’s two roommates for him to come and console the poor boy. Easy enough to do if you’re Jungkook’s personal hero. But a bigger problem was brewing for the younger that Namjoon wouldn’t be entirely sure how to tackle. 

Said problem being: a very suddenly anxious Jungkook, unsure of his own skill and unable to figure out how to properly study in a way that ensures this never ever happens to him. 

“Kook-ah, you know what you need to know for the exam.” Namjoon tries. “You will be okay.” His hand sits on Jungkook’s bouncing knee, settling it. He can at least do that. 

“But what if I forget? What if I get so nervous I can’t recall everything I studied. And all my effort goes to waste-” He is spiraling. Namjoon can see him spiraling, he says the first thing that comes to mind. 

“Get up. We are getting dinner.” He stands up, leaving behind a puzzled Jungkook. Groggy from lack of sleep, puffy from stress, hair a fluffy mess from running his hands through it. He looks adorable, and he is wordlessly looking for an explanation. “You’re not gonna get any sleep locked up in here.” 

“I do need to sleep tonight.” Jungkook mumbles more to himself, and Namjoon is a bit concerned about the way the younger says ‘tonight’ like it’s the exception. But he chooses not to comment on it. 

“Exactly, let’s go. Hyung’s treat.” His smile grows on his face, he’s got him hooked and out of the house; and that’s what matters. Jungkook really does have this class figured out, they’ve been at it for hours and Jungkook has been at it for weeks. Continuous days of sleepless nights, Namjoon is sure if he gets as much as one beer into his system, Jungkook will sleep like a baby. 

The decision is simple, something that’s walking distance because Namjoon can’t drive. The shoebox-sized fried chicken place across the street from Jungkook’s apartment. As soon as they walk in, Jungkook is groaning behind him. “I’m starving!” 

It earns a squinted glare from Namjoon over his shoulder. “When was the last time you ate?” 

“Do fingernails count?” 

“Sit down.” Namjoon is nearly tugging at the younger’s sleeve, guiding him to a booth. Trying to be menacing but Jungkook’s giggles show that he is unsuccessful. Too much endearment in Jungkook’s eyes when he looks at Namjoon for it to work. 

The place is nearly empty except for them both and some of the wandering staff. Namjoon didn’t think to check what time it was, or if their kitchen was even open still. And, call it his papa bear instinct, he is not leaving until he gets some food for Namjoon to eat. Fortunately when he calls the water, it’s all good news, he lets Jungkook take over what he wants. Since Namjoon ate the recommended amount of food today, he already had dinner. 

But he’ll share a beer with Jungkook. You know, in solidarity. 

Once they’re out of that stuffy apartment, it’s easy to fill the conversation with literally anything else that isn’t Jungkook’s exam. Feeling warmth spread along his chest at Jungkook’s whole demeanor lightening up. But he hasn’t seen the best of it yet, bunny grin spreading across his face when the chicken is set in front of them. 

“You sure you don’t want any?” His eyes are already eating the glistening chicken, but Jungkook quickly glances up at Namjoon. 

“No, no. I might steal some but I’m not hungry.” It does look like Jungkook ordered for two. But it’s nothing they can’t take home with them. “All yours, Kook.” He smiles, feeling genuine comfort at the sight of Jungkook pretty much launching onto his meal. 

The conversation does die a little inevitably. Jungkook isn’t giving himself much room to talk. He isn’t giving himself room to breathe. Bringing the plate close to his chest for his chopsticks to shovel the biggest mouthfuls his lips can possibly stretch to accommodate. Namjoon wouldn’t be able to ‘steal some of it’ even if he wanted to. Eyes wide as he takes the next bite, but they always close to enjoy the flavourful bites, signature frown letting Namjoon know that the younger is absolutely loving his food. 

Well, it’s nearly animalistic rather than blissful. Some of the caramelized coating of the chicken already staining Jungkook’s lips orange, and it’s beginning to cling to the corners of his mouth and some of his cheeks too; in the particularly huge bites. Not holding back any of the pleasure noises he lets out, because they all get muffled and swallowed by the food. 

The first few dishes licked clean in a matter of minutes.  A burp coaxing its way out of his mouth before he even sets the last empty plate down. 

“Aish… Manners, Jungkook.”  Namjoon feels a blush make his face all warm, as he chuckles through his scolding. 

“I told you I was starving.” He mumbles already bringing up the beer, the one that he had left abandoned as soon as the food was served. Cutting his own speech short with thick gulps of beer. “Ah-” Jungkook manages to close his lips to swallow the burp that comes immediately after. “Can I get some more?” 

It’s Namjoon’s turn to widen a bit beyond endearment. “Aren’t you full?” There’s a confused smile on his face, met with an uncharacteristic serious expression on Jungkook’s face. 

“I really don’t wanna go home yet. I can make more room.”  He sees it again, that fear and anxiety in Jungkook’s big guilty eyes. Namjoon acts on instinct, raising his arm for the waiter to see. 

“Jeogiyo! Another serving of spicy chicken please!” The waiter nods quickly. He shoots a warm smile to Jungkook who is looking gratefully back at him. “And two more beers.” 

Jungkook is determined in everything he does, Namjoon finds out. Even finishing every last crumb of this second serving.  Even as the frown on his face stops manifesting his appreciation for the flavor, but the effort of trying to fit all this food in. Taking a few more beer breaks to possibly wash down the greasy lump that must be forming in his throat. Though that must only make it worse, if the way his cheeks expand in swallowed burps is anything to go by. 

The same silence from Jungkook’s first devouring fills the table, though this time much painfully longer. And without any of the younger’s delighted enjoyment, instead a demonstration of pure… gluttony? Avoidance? Namjoon doesn’t even know what to call it. 

A struggle, is what it is. And Namjoon can’t seem to look away. Eyes following how Jungkook begins to eat with only one hand, the other one mysteriously disappearing under the table. The older can only guess it’s to ease the tension that must be forming at his stomach. 

Obviously already full, but he doesn’t cease until the last piece of chicken forced its way past his lips, at this point chewing slowly and lethargic. His blinking prolonged and sleepy. But he seals the deal by taking his beer and drinking the last few sips of it. Groaning immediately after he swallowed the last gulp. Noise that’s a little coaxed out by the burp that follows straight after. Leaning back on his seat, only his heavy breathing filling the silence. 

“How are you feeling?” Namjoon asks. 

“Ready to pop.” The younger chuckles sleepy. Namjoon was expecting something more along the lines of his emotional state for the exam. But this works too. 

“Want hyung to walk you home?” He can’t help but smile a bit, that blush from both fullness and alcohol on Jungkook’s cheeks, and his pouty greasy lips, it’s incredibly endearing. 

“Yeah… yeah I’ll fall asleep if we stay here.” Both his hands are on the table now, helping himself stand up. Revealing to Namjoon the sight Jungkook had been hiding under the table all their meal. A round cute, slightly reddened, bloat, that pushes the waistband of his sweatpants down; exposed by the shirt, that Jungkook seems to have folded upwards for a better rub. 

Namjoon can’t help but look at it, it’s right in front of his face! 

Looks tight. Small but packed to the brim. He wonders what it feels like to touch. 

The thing to snap him out of his trance is Jungkook unfolding his shirt right back to cover his ballooned stomach. “Do you want anything else?” The younger askes a bit puzzled. Right, Namjoon is still sitting. Still in perfect line of sight with Jungkook’s cute little bloat. 

“No no, sorry. I’m tired too.” He chuckles a bit through his excuse, standing up quickly and calling the waiter to take their bill. Ended up spending more than he anticipated. Namjoon wasn’t expecting Jungkook to order enough chicken for 3 and drink enough beer for him, Namjoon and the other few people in the restaurant. 

Though it’s worth it for the way Jungkook tiredly leans to him as they walk across the street back to his apartment. Not doubting for a second before wrapping his arm around the younger’s shoulders. Keeping it there all through the elevator ride. Feeling particularly accomplished at the way Jungkook nuzzles his neck, feeling his smile against his warm skin. 

His roommates, Jimin and Taehyung, give them a look from the living room; as Namjoon basically guides a half-asleep Jungkook to his room. A blush creeping on the older’s cheeks at the implications.

“H–he ate a lot of chicken.” Namjoon smiles with a nervous chuckle attached to the end of his sentence. 

“If the police come asking we won’t tell.” Taehyung snickers from the couch. As he continues to help Jungkook to his bed. He plops on it like dead weight but he is sleepily smiling up at Namjoon.

“Thanks, hyung.” His voice is still a little thick with grease. Eyes beaming even with bags under them. Just from the slight shift of movement to nuzzle his bed, Jungkook’s shirt is riding up again. A sliver of skin and the ballooned little tummy that pushes against the fabric. 

Namjoon diverts his eyes back to the younger’s face. “Anytime, Kook. Really.” He lets his hand comb through the fluffed up long hair of the younger. “I like seeing you so relaxed for a change.” Namjoon smiles down at him and is rewarded with melodic, slightly tipsy, giggling. “Rest up, okay?” 

“Yes.” 

“You’ll do great tomorrow.” 

“Yes, hyung.” He is already closing his eyes. And Namjoon has to hold back an endeared chuckle. Not bothering to say another word as he quietly leaves the sleeping Jungkook behind. 

It’s about the early afternoon, after what Namjoon imagines is a harrowing exam experience, that he gets a text from Jungkook. 

kook: that dinner worked like MAGIC hyung 

kook: that might have been the best night sleep i had 

kook: NOT EVEN IN EXAMS EASON JUST IN GENERAL

Namjoon wasn’t trying to give life saving advice. Mostly just panicked in an attempt to get Jungkook out of the house. But the relief he feels is too much for him to even feel like a fraud. 

Though it really must’ve worked like a charm. Because he doesn’t get another text from Jungkook for the entirety of exam season. It’s a change of pace to get a text from the younger that isn’t anxiety-ridden, a change that Namjoon entirely welcomes. 

kook: namjoonie hyung

kook: i miss you

kook: come with me to a cafe to study? 

A smile is already splitting his face. 

you: oh i’d love to! but i actually graduated 2 years ago 😅 thanks tho

kook: -_- 

kook: come work or something 

kook: since when are you turning down opportunities to be at a little nice coffee shop with ambiance and good french toast? 

kook: don’t you have anything to work on? 

He can’t help the smile growing on his face. He gets so defensive, as if Namjoon could ever say no to him. And he has some lyrics he’s been wanting to clean up. Though he won’t tell Jungkook, he doesn’t want to remind the younger of his… artist name. 

No matter how many times Jungkook says that Rap Mon was the sole reason he ever approached the older in college, Namjoon refuses to believe it. 

you: sure i’ll find something~ 

kook: you play so hard to get. 

Namjoon would think he sounded annoyed if he didn’t send the coffee shop place and the time to be there. With his headphones, laptop and little lyric notebook he makes sure to be there. 

As most times, Jungkook epsters him for a reason. The place does have a beautiful ambience, and the smell of coffee and baked goods smells divine and the place is filled with mostly one person tables of people buried in their work. He spots Jungkook pretty easily, in one of the booths with an arrangement of what, from Namjoon’s personal experience, he imagines are exercise guides, the obscenely big calculator, and his glasses on, hair up in a bun. 

Cute. 

He must’ve been here for a while longer than Namjoon, if the few clean plates are anything to go by. Jungkook doesn’t notice the older, like everyone else, completely engulfed in what he is doing. 

“You could’ve told me to come ehre earlier.” He chuckles without malice, making Jungkook perk up. 

“Oh! I just got here like 20 minutes ago. I got off class early.” So he ate all this in 20 minutes? “Hi to you too by the way.” He says through pursed lips. A dimpled grin splits Namjoon’s face. 

“Hi, Jungkook. I missed you.” His words are particularly sweet and genuine, just to get a smile out of him. And it works, it always works. 

“You should order something, I picked a place with good salty options for you.” He says smugly. 

“So thoughtful, Kook.” Namjoon sighs dreamily, picking the abandoned menu from the corner of the table. And he is right, he already sees an avocado toast that catches his eye. But when the waiter comes to them to take Namjoon’s order, Jungkook is talking again. 

“I’ll get another latte and one of the cinnamon rolls.” He smiles politely to the waiter, Namjoon has to get over the fact that he is ordering more at all. 

“And… an avocado toast and an americano.” Namjoon recovers smoothly. The waiter looks a little surprised too. If Jungkoko really got here just 20 minutes ago like he says, then yeah, anyone would be surprised he is getting… (Namjoon counts the plates), fourths already. 

Regardless he nods and walks away. Namjoon starts setting up ready to get to work. Though in the silence it seems like Jungkook feels the need to explain himself. 

“That was my lunch.” 

“Oh?”

“This is… dessert.” A smile grows at the sudden seriousness in Jungkook’s tone. 

“Okay.” He says a bit amused, a small chuckle bubbling at the back of his throat. “You can eat as much as you want.” He offers a gentler look, only because there’s a tint to Jungkook’s cheeks. The younger smiles back before they fall into comfortable silence. Only interrupted by their food, and then, quiet eating noises with the subtle scribbling of their paper. 

Until Jungkook is done with his order, then he calls the waiter again. For more food. And Namjoon is getting a proper view of what happened in those first 20 minutes that Jungkook arrived before him. Practically scarfing down the plates without even glancing at them. The hand that isn’t scribbling obscenely long equations onto the paper, reaches for the food. Clumsily, his lips stretching and trying to catch the food without taking his eyes off the exercise. Only lifting his face when he is done and needs to call the waiter for more. Though, the entire staff seems to be alert of Jungkook. 

Is this not the first time he is doing this? 

Namjoon tries not to think about it, but what were once quiet eating noises turn louder the messier it gets. So he can’t ignore it, and at some point he just starts to wonder how much can Jungkook pack in? The stack of plates next to his pencil case is obscene, like something out of an eating contest. One that only Jungkook knows about, and he’s been practicing months to get a head started on.

Because, Namjoon has hung out a lot with him, and even when he was a freshman in college, Jungkook could never eat this much. Not even when the dreadful freshman 15 are supposed to hit. He is so acutely aware of Jungkook’s eating, Namjoon does not manage to do any work that day; not a single verse. Maybe for the better, since he spares himself from Jungkook’s teasing. 

But it’s a long couple of hours. Namjoon knows he could’ve gotten up at any time, they’re just keeping eachother company. Yet, he finds that he can’t quite bring himself to stop stealing glances at the younger, catching him sometimes halfway through stretching his lips around a bite, or even already licking his fingers clean obscenely before reaching for another handful of food. Namjoon is transfixed in this cycle of looking up just to quickly divert his eyes away, though he doubts Jungkook even notices him there. 

Alas, when he finishes his exercise guide, he proudly punches the table grinning. “Done.” He states a bit breathless, which has probably something to do with the massacre of plates beside him. And it’s not even the whole thing, as the staff took the initiative to start taking away the plates as they piled up besides Jungkook. “I can’t look at another one of these or my brain will pop.”

Namjoon has to hold back from saying he imagines there will be another organ of his popping soon. “Yeah I’m all out of juice too.” He says instead, resigned. He is not getting any progress, not today. After fighting for who covers the check, and Namjoon successfully wins, they’re packing their things. 

Only then, does he get to see the impact of Jungkook’s new coping method for stress. When the younger stands up from his chair, without the table covering him anymore and reveals the rest of his body. Namjoon comes eye to eye with Jungkook’s newfound pudgy middle. A belly that hangs just a bit over the waistband of his pants, with a shirt that clings to the pillowy fat; hem barely brushing his bottom roll. As if a wrong movement would make it ride up the gentle curve of his stomach. Tight enough that the dent of his belly button shows through the stretched fabric, clinging fully to the muffin top on his hips and putting full display of the thickness of his waist. 

Having him stood up while Namjoon still sits makes it even clearer that it’s not just his belly that softened, but all of him. His chest rounded out and pushed slightly forward; perky chest and slightly puffy nipples. Something Namjoon maybe would have noticed if it weren’t for Jungkook’s chronically awful posture. Stretching the shirt at the very top. Along with his arms, clinging to the short sleeves without all the definition that Namjoon had gotten used to, instead softer and thicker. And his double chin, from this angle it was evident. Face looked rounder more than ever with the padding under his jaw clear as day as Jungkook looked down to smile at the older. 

“Not enough juice to even get up?” Jungkook retorts and snaps Namjoon out of his trance. 

“Y-yeah yeah sorry.” He stands up quickly, quickly enough that he nearly knocks into the table a bit. Earning a deserved chuckle from the younger, and a flustered huff from Namjoon. “Shush, or I’m making you drive me.” 

“I was gonna offer to drive you anyway. Come on.” 

He doesn’t miss the slight heavy breathing form Jungkook as they walk to the car, and the quiet sigh when he sits on the driver’s seat; he tries to ignore it at least. But Jungkook makes it extra hard to look away when the hand that isn’t steering the wheel cupped the bottom of his belly. Thumb digging into the layer of pudge to reach the bloat, in slow circular motions. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this relaxed while studying.” He says, and it’s genuine! Jungkook has a satisfied smile on his face, Namjoon remembers when he had to pry the younger away from the exercise guides and coax him to eat a meal.

Definitely doesn’t have any of those problems anymore. 

“You helped for sure.” 

“Please, you were in the zone even before I got there.” 

“No. No I mean like, the tip. The tip you gave me all that time ago?” Namjoon’s puzzled look must speak for itself. “You know, eating before an exam, eating while studying. Like we did last time.” 

He doesn’t distinctly remember giving Jungkook that advice, but it shows all over his body. And his smile is so proud of himself, the one that reminds Namjoon of an underclassmen highschooler telling him he wanted to go to college for biology just like Namjoon. Just to impress him.

Namjoon simply doesn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise. 

In fact, Namjoon doesn’t have the heart to tell him anything else on the matter. Anything that isn’t encouragement. Even when Jungkook isn’t in exam season, he’s become so food motivated; it makes sense to offer him treats during the semester, just to keep him on track…

It makes sense for Namjoon to do that.

Of course. 

Snatching him during the week for study cafes, and bringing beer to all their late night study sessions… They’re all for the sake of Jungkook’s education. 

In the back of his mind, of course, he thinks his genuine encouragement might have gotten out of hand. But it’s worth it for the starch difference in Jungkook’s grades, and overall mood. Going through his classes with ease, as well as going through bags of snacks during said lectures. Through the rest of the year it only got worse, Namjoon knows this, but… Jungkook seems so happy. 

These are some of the thoughts he has to debate with every time he goes to Jungkook’s for another study session. Tonight is no different. Going up the stairs to the younger’s apartment to support Jungkook in the midst of exam season. Though at this point, Namjoon isn’t entirely sure if he is of service anymore. 

But if he isn’t of service, that means he has to face what other reason he could be joining Jungkook so often for. 

And Namjoon simply doesn’t have time for that, he just arrived at Jungkook’s place. Box of brownies in hand. Store bought, Jungkook’s favorite (for some reason). 

“Hyung!” His smile remains just as bright as any other day that Namjoon shows up for support. 

The rest of Jungkook though… It’s unrecognizable. 

In a year, the student’s new “study method” took a toll on Jungkook’s body. The frame that opened the door for Namjoon was close to being as wide as the door frame itself. His waist thickened to the point it buried any trace of Jungkook’s former dainty waist, thick rolls stacking along his sides, staring with jiggly love handles and finishing at the top with, what Namjoon could only describe as, the weight of his moobs beginning to overspill from the sides, beginning to sag to the sides with rounded softened nipples that constantly push against all his shirt. Pushing his arms to the sides, both of them fattened as well, softened without any of its former impressive muscle; they wobbled gently when he scribbled on paper. 

As soon as he opens the door, his belly threatens to push through the threshold on its own, stretching forward in a slope. Slightly firmer at the top and center of it, but surrounded with pillowy and sagging downwards over the waistband of his pants. Overhang girthy and making most of Jungkook’s shirts ride up as he walks. Always shifting in his chairs trying to push his shirt down from behind and then from the front, before he inevitably gives up. It folds into hefty rolls whenever he sits down, taking room on his lap. The fact his legs fattened so much too doesn’t help, pooling out of every chair he sits on, ass wobbling with each step of the stairs that he’s taken Namjoon to their apartment. 

His face… probably the only thing that stayed the same. Cheeks just rounding out cutely, making his face impossibly more of a circle when he grins, bright and heartwarming. With the addition of a bit of padding hanging off his once sharp jawline, into a squishy double chin. 

“Hey Kook.” He says before his staring becomes too obvious. “I bought some motivation.” Namjoon smiles, proudly patting the brownie box. 

“How did you know I was craving these?!” The younger whines thankful, as he steps aside to let Namjoon in. 

“You’re always craving the worst quality brownie in the market.” 

“Hey! There’s definitely ones worse than this! There’s always the cafeteria ones.” Namjoon is already making his way to the dining table. Guided by the scattered papers and books that are already taking over the surface. 

“Second worst, then.” He gives in with a fond smile, like he always does. Taking a seat in front of Jungkook. Who makes the poor IKEA chair creak when he takes a seat on it. “Does that make you feel better about yourself?”

“Immensely.” His shit-eating-grin isn’t any less endearing. 

“What are we studying today?” Namjoon cuts him off instead, only for Jungkook to start showing him the exercises he’s been having trouble with. Wordlessly and poutily. “Oh… oh I remember hating these.” The older’s face scrunches at the memory. 

“I know… It’s gonna take a lot of brownies to get me through this.” Jungkook sulks. And right, because they’ve been implementing a new system. As well as the plethora of “study snacks” that Jungkook mindlessly gorges on while working, there’s the reward snacks. The ones Namjoon keeps out of his reach only to give him when he finishes something. 

It’s been so long, Namjoon doesn’t exactly remember how it started. All he knows is Jungkook is too dependent on it now to go back to not getting snacks as rewards now. 

“Just start with this one.” He points to one of the exercises on his study guide. Before picking up the brownie box and giving it a gentle shake. “There’s enough for the entire syllabus.” That’s the thing that makes Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with newfound motivation. Wordlessly taking the guide and his notebook before starting to quietly scribble down. 

It was about 10 minutes, Namjoon using that time to revise Jungkook’s notes and get accustomed with the subject again. But, fast as ever, Jungkook slides the resolved exercise. “Let’s see.” Namjoon mumbles adjusting his glasses, feeling the younger’s eyes glued to him, switching from Namjoon’s reaction to the unopened brownie box. “This one is good!” He chirps, but it’s nothing compared to the full body beam Jungkook gives him, reaching for the brownie 

The cycle repeats endlessly. Jungkook is a skilled diligent student, Namjoon isn’t entirely sure why the younger keeps inviting him over to study, almost never fully needing to ask questions. If there ever is a mistake, once Namjoon points it out, it is like something clicks in Jungkook’s mind. Entitle up to speed with the older. 

The brownie box is emptying quickly. And Namjoon feels entirely useless, yet he can’t find himself to say it outloud. Not when Jungkook is in front of him with crumbs all over his cheeks and chest, chocolate clinging to the corners of his lips. And the hand that isn’t writing down is under the table mysteriously. Or well… It hasn’t been a mystery since that time at the coffee shop. 

Another exercise done, Namjoon isn’t even done revising it before he catches a hand reach to the brownie box from the corner of his eyes. In a reflex the older reaches for it faster and brings it towards himself. “Ah ah ah, don’t get cocky. You don’t know if it’s correct or not.” He has a teasing smile, and Jungkook looks startled for a second, as if he had done it unconsciously, before smiling back. 

“I’m pretty sure it is, hyung.” As he says it his hand reaches for the box again. And Namjoon has to bring it further back; this time with the glint of competitiveness that the younger always inspires from him. 

“Not until I say so.” He’s finished reading, he knows it’s correct. But still, he holds the box away from Jungkook’s grasp, with a playful smile that the younger mimics. This isn’t about the exercise, not anymore. Jungkook tries to reach further from the table, leaning out of his chair. Just for Namjoon to react quicker than ever leaning back. From Jungkook’s angle, Namjoon can see the way the top of his belly is sinking into the edge of the table. Softer chest sagging barely against his shirt. 

He can see Jungkook beginning to prepare to lean closer. And when Namjoon stands up already grinning from ear to ear, ready to possibly be chased by the younger. 

And when Jungkook launches at him… He can’t. Namjoon’s smile fades a little, as he watches Jungkook try again. His own expression cracking into disbelief as he looks down at himself. Realization dawning on both of them slowly. 

Jungkook is stuck in the chair. 

The room feels death quiet, Jungkook clears his throat looking down at himself, hands gripping the armrests. Now that he is standing, Namjoon can see the way they’re digging into his fatty sides. And tries to push them down. Making his body ripple with each try. 

Namjoon feels a little petrified where he stands. Before pleading doe eyes look his way. “A little help?!” Jungkook whines, snapping the older from the trance he was in. 

“Fuck sorry.” Namjoon chuckles a bit nervously before rushing to him. “Come on, let’s get you out.” He mumbles getting behind Jungkook, fingers gripping into the legs of the chair and begin to tug backwards. 

“Yes!” Jungkook groans. With each tug his apron belly slap against his lap. “I really really want that brownie!” He throws his head back whining pathetically. As if everything in his body didn’t scream that he had one brownie box too many. 

Namjoon is grunting behind him, but it won’t budge. “Has this happened before?!” He can’t help his desperate tone. And Jungkook throws an insulted look over his shoulder. 

“No?! You think I would’ve sat here if I got stuck already!?” 

“I don’t, but it looks like this chair is three sizes small, Kook.” He chuckles a bit, slowly getting the chair off the curve of his plump love handles. Both of the younger’s hands are on the table, pushing his ass to Namjoon in an attempt to collaborate. 

“I’ve been studying in my room a lot!” Jungkook’s voice gets higher pitched as he whines. Making Namjoon more forceful until he stumbles back. Flimsy wooden chair in his hands as he frees Jungkook. 

“Ha!” He is a little breathless but victorious still. “Freedom.” Namjoon punches the air. Before noticing Jungkook’s silence. 

He is eating another brownie. Namjoon guesses, the one Jungkook thought was owed to him for getting that exercise right. But then he is grabbing another one while still munching on the previous brownie. And his other hand is grabbing another one after that. 

“What are those supposed to be for?” Namjoon crosses his arms with a teasing smile. 

“Emotional reparations.” 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Taehyung hates critique day. Which sucks. Because in an art major, every day is critique day. He knew what he was getting into, of course he knew. Taehyung just didn’t expect to feel so personally about his art. 

Though, he knows how to behave. Of course he doesn’t make a scene, and he takes all the critiques. But his frustrations end up manifesting elsewhere. 

It’s not even his turn, there’s another 10 people before him. But Taehyung’s thumb is already against his lips. Teeth anxiously nipping at his cuticles. He doesn’t think his art is beyond critiquing, of course not. That’s the whole reason he is majoring in art. But he pours so much of himself into each piece, vulnerable and grotesquely intimate. It’s so hard to expose in front of everyone, relating the quality of his art directly to his own value as a person. 

What if what he is saying is overdone? A cliche experience that everyone goes through and is not worthy of being represented through art. Or worse, what if it’s too much? Too personal and private to expose in a room full of strangers. What if these types of things should be left for the little epigraph under a painting for only the willing to read? Instead of stating it proudly as a defense for the homework you did in front of a bunch of strangers- 

A hand places gently on his wrists, warm. Cutting the middle of his rampant spiral. Taehyung still has his fingers grazing against his lips when he turns to see the hand owner, his upperclassman and TA, Seokjin. Who has a patient smile on his face that seems like he can read all of Taehyung’s thoughts. 

“If you’re gonna nip on anything, have this.” He whispers as to not call attention to them while the professor gives her critiques to another student. Taehyung’s hand is lowered gently and a candy bar is placed on it. His jaw drops, looking at it before looking up at Seokjin; who looks even smug about it. 

“Thanks.” Even if his response is short, the admiration and gratitude must show on his face, because the older has to stifle a laugh. Taehyung doesn’t waste another second ripping open the package and bringing it to his lips. 

Being able to press these anxieties onto the crunchy bar feels too relieving. The delicious nutty flavor is an amazing bonus. Taehyung can’t hold back from finishing it in only a few hurried bites. Relishing in the way his thoughts are taken over by the small snack, instead of his sprinting anxieties. And then he is pushing the last of it with his fingers, only realizing he hasn’t taken a single moment to enjoy the candy bar once he is gulping the last bite. And he isn’t even close to having to expose his artwork. 

Does he go back to panicking? It feels like he should- Correction, it feels like he is. 

Unconsciously, his hand is already reaching for his lips when Seokjin intercepts it again. Another candy bar in hand. Making Taehyung’s eyebrows fly to the roof. 

“I get cravings during the day, okay? Don’t look so judgy.” Seokjin defends himself whispering, but his smile gives away that he didn’t take it too personally. 

“I don’t wanna waste your stash, don’t you have some gum?” It’s the younger’s turn to hold in his giggles. 

His TA’s face scrunches up. “I don’t like mint.” 

“You are weird.” Taehyung says with a smile, hands already focusing on tearing the wrapper apart. Seokjin is rolling his eyes, while the younger is stifling his giggle with the first bite. He wordlessly passes Taehyung his backpack so lay by the student’s side where he is sat. Opened already and showing the plethora of candy bars and different snacks stashed in there. 

How is this man so fit?! Taehyung rather brings the backpack closer to his side with his leg, as he’s already working through the second candy bar. He really tried to space it out and enjoy it a bit. But he still finished it in the span of only one student getting their critique. Only throwing a pleading glance at Seokjin, whose eyes are already on Taehyung with a patient nod, he is reaching deep in the bag for another one. Without looking into the bag, it really does feel like he has the entire thing full to the brim. 

He pulls another one out, this time not so worried in making sure he makes it last throughout the like, 8 other people who have critiques before Taehyung. And he doesn’t. But his hand is already reaching for the bag without a second thought. He is sure Seokjin will be fine without 3 or 4 of his bars. The supply feels so endless he doesn’t even keep track. 

Letting the candy bar wrappers pile around him, it doesn’t take long before a warm feeling starts to set on the bottom of his stomach. Blood circulation his stomach as it digests all that chocolate, peanut butter, and whatever else they put on them. It’s making him sleepy, but Taehyung welcomes the feeling with open arms, sedating him from all his anxieties. Mind too lethargic to worry, and hands too busy on the slight bloat of his tummy to reach for his teeth to nip at them. Taehyung doesn’t even notice when his time for the critique comes, catching him half way through a snickers bar. That he brushes to his lap, along with all the other wrappers that piled on his desk around his art piece. 

The warmth emanating from his stomach is enough to even make him feel more soothed as he explains his piece. Something Taehyung had been struggling with since he got his first critique, and he realizes he can’t in fact be perfect at something from the get go; like he had unconsciously hoped for. Not this time though, he has a calm tone as he explains the inner workings and reasonings behind his assignment. And he doesn’t know if it’s that, or if this piece is particularly good, or if his lethargic mind is playing tricks on his perception of the world, but the critiques don’t seem as bad as they usually are. 

The rest of the class passes by in a blurr. And he has Seokjin to thank for it. 

And he does! Walking up to the TA once everyone starts walking out. 

“Sorry about almost emptying your bag.” He smiles shyly. “But I really never felt that relaxed during a critique, ever.” 

“Don’t mention it, I know it took me ages to get used to it.” His smile is patient as ever, Taehyung is beginning to wonder if it was this charming from the beginning of the semester. 

“And what did you do then?” If he is tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, it’s nobody’s business. 

“I was bringing entire boxes worth of snacks.” Seokjin giggles. “Really took my freshman 15 to a whole new level.” 

If Taehyung lets his eyes go up and down Seokjin’s body with a smile, then maybe it’s a little bit of his TA’s business. “Doesn’t look like you have them on you right now.” 

Seokjin smiles with a bit more confidence. Taehyung has never prided himself in his subtlety. “I told you I got used to the critiques, didn’t I?” If the older takes a step closer, Taehyung’s heart has no business pitter pattering this way. “Now I just keep a stash in case anyone is getting a little panicky.” Taehyung is about to object, but Seokjin anticipates it. “Happens more often than you think!” 

“Sure it does.” His arms are folding over his chest, but it’s not as defensive as it is flirty. Seokjin seems to notice. 

“You can just say thank you.” The fact his tone gets even cockier should not be as attractive as Taehyung is making it out to be. 

“If it manages to calm my nerves consistently. Then you’ll get your thank you.” It feels like they’re standing much closer than when Taehyung first walked up to him to thank the TA. But he is leaving with a lot more. 

“Keep me updated then.” Seokjin smiles unfaced. 

“I will.” 

And Taehyung leaves that class with an entirely different feeling of nerves than the one he walked in with; much giddier too. Though, airhead at heart, he notices he forgot to ask Seokjin for his number; and Taehyung definitely won’t be flirting through their school emails, and finding his social media and dming him is out of the question. Taeyung has some dignity left, thank you very much. 

Instead, he limits himself to keep Seokjin’s memory alive in his mind every time he has a class where he has to present some of his artwork. Stocking up on a bagful of snacks for him to work his way through until he gets his critique. Mostly figuring out what’s the right amount, since that first time he only ever started snacking about 2/3rds of the the class in, so naturally Taehyung has more time to fill if he is starting to eat from the get go. But also, he can’t get too full too early! Because then the feeling could possibly wash off in the span of his 4 hour courses. 

Though the most exciting part of his week was trying out what he enjoyed snacking on the most. What offered that warm hazy sensation that Taehyung was seeking, what settled best on his tummy, and what was most appropriate for class. He is not making the same mistake of bringing some chips and spicy sauce to class; not only making a lot of noise, but having the spice make his stomach gurgle and churn as he held back from farting in class. 

After extensive research, Taehyung found out that sweets were the best option. Fluffy and noiseless, and perfectly filling. Instead of cramping to fit them into his bag, Taehyung proudly walks into class with a bakery box that sits on his lap. They’re bigger and more filling than candy bars, just (if not more) as delicious. And Taehyung plops it open as soon as the first student begins to expose. He is able to make them last the entire class, chewing unhurried but constantly throughout. Taehyung’s always had an appetite, but he always brings enough to end up with both hands under his desk on his bloated tummy, and a fuzzy feeling of fullness. 

It’s only been two weeks, but Taehyung really does feel like he owes Seokjin a thank you. He thinks to himself as he walks into the classroom where Seokjin assists. The younger considered talking to him after class, but he finds the TA’s eyes on him… Probably due to the bakery box he brings with him into the classroom. Taehyung quite frankly, had already naturalized the snacks he has been bringing with him to most classes. Completely forgetting that Seokjin only comes to help out once every two weeks. 

“I take it you’re trying out my advice?” Seokjin catches him as Taehyung walks to his usual desk. 

“Trying it? I’ve already adopted it.” He sits down and smiles up at Seokjin. “I haven’t been this relaxed ever since I got into art.” Taehyung leans back into his chair, smug, before beaming. “And look at this!” His hand wiggles his fingers daintily in front of Soekjin’s face, his eyes crossing a bit to get a better look at the sight. 

With perfectly healthy cuticles. 

He gently takes Taehyung’s hand into his. Thumb rubbing up and down his middle finger; making the younger’s insides churn. “Wow… Look at you.” His tone is a little teasing, but his smile is endeared. Though, Taehyung can only focus on the world around him again, once the TA has let his hand go. “What’s on today’s menu?” 

“Cinnamon rolls, some red velvet slices…” He purses his lips. And shies a bit when he sees Seokjin’s eyebrows reach his hairline. “And–and just a few more things. Can’t remember.” 

“Certainly a lot more than those 5 snicker bars you ate last time.” This time there isn’t much endearment in Seokjin’s smile. Taehyung widens. 

It was only 5?!  He had felt so overwhelmingly full back then… 

Now it wouldn’t come close to doing the job. 

“I always had an appetite.” He shrugs with pouty lips. “I was just guilty of eating too much of your stash.” Taehyung excuses himself with arms crossed over his chest. 

“I’m glad you’re bringing your own then.” Seokjin chuckles, making Taehyung worry if he even believes the younger’s excuse. “This is definitely more than all of my stash.” He eyes the big bakery box on Taehyung’s desk, and looks up with a smile that doesn’t say the full truth; the younger’s cheeks burn a little warmer. 

But he doesn’t get to say the last word, the professor is calling Seokjin over; who only offers a wide grin before ushering to her desk. 

This interaction definitely echoes in Taehyung’s mind, only silenced with the first few bites of the cinnamon roll. But not entirely, since flashes of Seokjin’s teasing smile as he eyed Taehyung’s portion size creeps on him. Catching him mid-bite, with his lips stretched, buttercream coating his lips and red velvet crumbs already beginning to fall onto his lap. His cheeks blushed everytime. All that nonchalance he had these two weeks, acquiring this habit, unbothered by the weird stares, suddenly shifted into self awareness when Taehyung sensed the TA’s eyes on him. 

Taehyung didn’t dare look to check; he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he actually caught Seokjin staring at him making a pig out of himself in class. Maybe he was just deluding himself and the older was nowhere near paying him attention. Why would he be? They barely know each other. 

All this just represented more thoughts for Taehyung to have to silence with food. Or at least try to. Determined to silence his feelings of sudden awkwardness, like he had managed all those classes before this one; where he ate without a care. And besides, if anyone would be nonjudgmental of this… coping mechanism, it should be Seokjin out of all people, shouldn’t it? He advised Taehyung to do it after all. 

A thought in the back of his mind wonders if maybe it isn’t judgment that Seokjin is showing. But Taehyung decides to bury that thought with another one of the cinnamon rolls, taking an obscene bite of it. Guiding his thoughts to the warmth stretching his stomach, not taut yet but getting there. Pressing against his shirt with a slight curve. Already making him blissed and a little sleepy. 

And he still has so much more food to go. 

Perfect. 

With newfound determination, and a mind determined to not think for the rest of the class, Taehyung loses himself to the food before him. Not only the sound of his professor giving critiques, but the sight from the corner of his eye of Seokjin (possibly) watching him, all fade away. As Taeyung focuses on looking down at his bakery box, focusing on his own hands as they reach more fervently for the food, feeling how the icing and buttercream make his throat feel thick and his entire body tingle as all the blood goes to his distending stomach. One hand goes idly to caress the growing curve, feels like with every heavy gulp, it expands against his fingers. Though it doesn’t feel unbearable like it used to be. 

He brought enough food that when it’s time for his critiques, Taehyung hasn’t even finished. But he still ate enough for that comfortable warmth to ease his nerves. It goes by smoothly, like it has for the past few weeks. And he has left overs! Taehyung could probably take these back to his apartment, he is sure Jungkook will appreciate the extra study snacks. 

Yet as soon as his professor is done talking to him, his hand is reaching for another slice of cake. Even when he has no reason to be nervous anymore, no anxiety rattling his bones; it’s like his hands reach for the food all on their own. He doesn’t even question it, let alone try to stop himself. But in the back of his mind, Taehyung is beginning to realize, he’s trained his body to do this. To eat without conscience, to eat to lose conscience. 

Which isn’t really all that good. But then again… Being this full does feel really nice. Especially when these last baked goods are all he needs to fully push to the edge of comfortably full to stuffed to brim. The thought on the back of his mind isn’t enough to stop the automated path of his hand, as it grips the velvety piece of cake. It doesn’t matter if it’s not as enjoyable as it settles in his rounding stomach. The taste is amazing. 

Fuck Jungkook, he has enough snacks already. That waistline speaks for itself. 

Taehyung has to force that last bite down with his index finger, chewing lethargic and slowly; a little painful. His stomach gurgling under his desk in complaint, as if to convince Taehyung to not swallow. He does, obviously. The only thing more embarrassing than eating like a hog in front of everyone, would be spitting something out. He gulps it down and has a burp stretching his cheeks almost immediately after. Having to cup his swollen stomach when it vibrates and gurgles whining. 

Ow. 

He might have overdone it. His eyelids feel heavy and it feels like all those sweets are taking space his lungs need; making his breathing heavier and his body warm all over. 

As if on cue, the class is dismissed! Perfect timing, Taehyung is ready to get these pants off and take a fat nap. Already tidying up his desk from all the little disposable plates and trays, he has good student etiquette thank you very much. Ignoring the weird stares from fellow students that walk past his desk. If they haven’t gotten used to this in the last two weeks, it’s out of Taehyung’s hands. 

When it’s time to get up. His stomach churns painfully, cramping and complaining to the point Taehyung plops back into his chair. A little ‘ouf’ leaving his lips; as if he hadn’t already been breathless before attempting to stand. It takes a second try, and a second failure for Taehyung to realize… he might need a little help. 

This time around, he does feel like the side-eyes he is getting from his classmates are somewhat deserved. He overdid it. Most definitely. Taehyung has never been this full, belly expanding with each shallow breath; agitated from trying to stand and pinned by his taut belly. Full enough it stretches his poor shirt; he’s always had a bit of padding around his tummy, and it barely shows from how tight his stomach is rounding out. Only able to feel that chub when he massages his gurgling stomach; but it looks hard enough to be a baby bump. 

In a meek, breathless attempt, Taehyung tries again. Only to fall back in his chair. Desperation beginning to tie his overstuffed stomach in a knot, not only are his classmates leaving; but the people from the class after theirs are entering. His head turning for any familiar face he could ask for assistance. 

The only one he finds is the one Taehyung is most embarrassed to call for help. But he doesn’t have much of a choice, does he? 

“Seokjinssi?” The TA was picking up some notes, his back to Taehyung, thankfully. There’s at least some hope that he didn’t see Taehyung’s pathetic attempts to get up. 

“What is it?” He comes closer slinging his backpack on and getting a proper look at Taehyung’s situation. Bloated belly, pushing at the waistband of his pants and shirt, holding onto the desk for momentum. Seokjin’s entertained smile makes him want to shrink away. 

“Could you…” Taehyung is not gonna look at his face when asking, instead looking at the mess he turned himself into. All of that flirty energy he had felt for Seokjin when he first helped the younger out, was gone. Replaced with mortifying embarrassment. “Uh… I kind of overdid it. I need a little help.” He says instead, avoiding Seokjin’s reaction. 

A hand comes into his line of vision.

Phew. 

Taehyung takes it and lets Seokjin tug him up. Amazed by the soft grunt that slips from the back of his throat; feeling his swollen stomach try and pin him in place. But that’s not nearly as embarrassing as the way he accidentally leans closer than he should to Seokjin’s torso. The hand that isn’t holding Taehyung’s holding him by his waist; hand big enough to brush the side of his bloat.

He is mortified, and Seokjin’s little smile does nothing to help the feeling. 

“You okay?” The way even the TA’s charming expression has his eyebrows slightly raised and his eyes a little widened. Even he wasn’t ready for Taehyung’s display of gluttony. 

“Y–yeah… Yeah, thanks.” Taehyung forces himself to smile. But what’s even harder is separating from the firmness of Seokjin’s torso. Brushing the crumbs that collected across his chest. “That’s a first for me.” He feels the need to comment. 

“Eating so much you can’t get up?” Seokjin chuckles. “Yeah, you’re the first time I see it too.” His tone is friendly, but Taehyung can still feel his cheeks burning red. Only worsened by the up and down glance Seokjin gives of his body. 

“You should meet my roommates.” Taehyung tells a joke only for himself to laugh at. Ready to wash off all the embarrassment he accumulated in this class. “See you around, Seokjinssi.” He scrambles to grab his stuff and nod off. Weighting if this much humiliation is worth being able to handle the critiques. 

Taehyung doesn’t really decide. Not really. Because the next day comes, Taehyung doesn’t even have a critiquing that day, but his feet still drag him to the bakery close to campus. Staff already familiar with his face and gave him the freshest donuts of the batch. In the back of his mind, he does question himself again. If it really is the best for him to be eating beyond his capability to stand up. 

But he got the donuts already. And even if he won’t be getting critiques today, it’s still nice to have a snack while he paints. It’s just once more. 

Except it isn’t, Taehyung finds himself facing the fact he underestimated how much of a habit he had made of Seokjin’s little advice. Part of him started feeling guilty to not go to the bakery, feeling like all the staff was expecting him there. And the very few scattered days that Taehyung didn’t go, his worries were confirmed when the caring lovely staff asked about what happened. Besides, whenever he skipped, his stomach would grumble so much he would eventually end up dragging his feet to the college dining hall and buying anything he can get his eyes on. 

Seokjin doesn’t bring it up again, but he does continue walking over to Taehyung’s desk to chat. Never able to be subtle in the way he always glances down at the younger’s desk; as if to check if he had brought any food this time. And Taehyung always had. 

Luckily though, he never has to ask Seokjin for help getting up in what’s left of the semester. The more used he got to eating these huge quantities of sweets, the easier his stomach stretched and adapted to the heft of Taehyung’s snacks. But, simultaneously, made him harder and harder to satisfy. 

It got to the point where there wasn’t enough food he could physically bring to his class for it to be enough to make him feel as full as he used to be at the beginning of the semester. He keeps his portions similar to the ones he had when he first started bringing food to class, only to stuff himself with anything he could; whether it meant another stop to the bakery, a demolition of the lunch menu at the dining hall, or cleaning whatever his roommates had stashed the fridge with. Though that last option got him a scolding most of the time. 

In the back of his mind, he knows. Taehyung is overdoing it. Ending his school day stuffed to the brim and waddling home; even on the days he has sculpting class, and his hands are in no condition to be touching food. Let alone classes where his hands are in full capacity to eat, a professor’s critique not needed for his body to crave that hazy drowsy sensation of being full. 

And it’s beginning to show. He knows it. Taehyung can feel it in the way his clothes begin to fill out. Waistbands sinking into his middle when he sits down, and then even when he is standing up. His inner thighs rubbing together when he walks, covering all of the chair when he sits. The front of his tummy always pressing against his shirts, which have only gotten tighter with the course of the semester. Then, it’s not just his stomach pressing against the fabric, but his chest too. Small but puffy mounds of fat, with softened and overly sensitive nipples. Then his sleeves start feeling a little fuller as well. 

And if Taehyung gets another comment from his roommates about how chubby and round his face has gotten, he will throw another paintbrush at them. 

But it’s fine.

The semester will end, and without the routine of his classes, the routine of his snacking shall also stop. 

Taehyung has it under control. 

Even if he was determined to not need a change of clothes until the end of the semester. Yet here he is, rummaging through Jungkook and Jimin’s laundry for anything oversized. 

Whatever, it’s not a change of clothes. Jimin and Jungkook steal his clothes for fancy events all the time. Or… they used to. Taehyung doubts they fit them now. 

He finds one of Jungkook’s sweatpants and he rather not ponder on how they’re not an oversized fit. He leaves for uni decidedly. Today he has a live painting session, his favorite. He arrives there early even! Ready to pick his favorite spot in the circle of canvases, and display all his paints and–

Seokjin is there. 

“You don’t take this course.” He states a bit bluntly. Excuse him, but Taehyung has to mentally prepare himself to engage with Seokjin, and have him smiling all charming at him. 

“I don’t.” Luckily, the older only seems endeared by Taehyung’s straight forward greeting. “Ms.Lee called in sick, I’m covering for her.”

“Are TAs allowed to do that?” He can’t help scrunching his face. And it downright earns a bit of laughter from Seokjin, smile only growing. 

“It’s just a live painting session, Tae.” Endearment rolls off his tongue. “Take a seat.” Seokjin’s shit eating smile shouldn’t be as endearing as it is. But that’s an existential question Taehyung had to give up ages ago. 

“You’re not the boss of me.” He scoffs, but does in fact walk to his preferred canvas. Just because he wants to. Not because Seokjin instructed him. Setting his bag and walking to the line of aprons hung up at the back of the class. 

He doesn’t think twice before grabbing one, putting his head through it and beginning to tie it as he walks back to his spot. But… as he feels his belly press against the cloth, rolls on his waist shifting with each step, Taehyung feels the straps sink a little into the folds that stack on his sides. A sensation he’s gotten used to.

However, he can’t seem to be making the two ends of the straps meet… 

Not even close. 

Stopping in his tracks, he focuses on sucking in. And feels his stomach retract the slightest bit, he pushes the straps. The two edges barely grazing each other, not nearly enough give for him to tie a knot. And panic starts to set in. 

Yeah, he hasn’t had a live painting session in a while. But it hasn’t been that long, has it? 

And he hasn’t gotten that fat in said short amount of time, has he? 

He turns his back to the rack of aprons, almost resentfully. There has to be a bigger one, isn’t there? No, Taehyung is in Korea. Where he was a size large even before this… gain. 

“What’s the matter?” Seokjin asks, but his voice sounds more knowing than what Taehyung feels comfortable with. And his voice is closer than he was prepared for. 

Almost automatically, he takes the apron off his head, holding it defensively to his chest. Acutely aware of the way his hands sink into the new padding that rounds his pecs. “Nothing.” 

Seokjin’s smile only widens at that. “Nothing.” He repeats, comedically unconvinced. Though he is looking at Taehyung with endearment, helpful almost. 

“Yes.” But Taehyung is too prideful.

“Okay…” The older doesn’t argue. “That’s a really nice shirt, would be a shame to spill oil paint on it.” 

“I won’t.” He purses his lips, shrugging bratty. “I was about to put it on.” Taehyung’s thick-headedness gets the best of him though, and he can feel it bite him in the ass when Seokjin crosses his arms and leans against the wall; expectant. 

“Go on then.” 

“With what?”

“Put it on. I’m gonna start the class on time, so…” Taehyung doesn’t check the clock to know if the clash should actually start soon or not. Not willing to show that he has anything to worry about. At least he knows they’re still the only two here, if the way Soekjin is acting is anything to go by. Taehyung knows by now that as confident as he likes to act, the TA would die of embarrassment to be caught flirting like this. 

Does this count as flirting? It feels like he is just tormenting Taehyung. 

“Whatever…” He mumbles, putting it over his head again. But not bothering to tie it behind him. “There. Happy?”

“You’re so stubborn, did anybody tell you that?” Seokjin’s tone is too soft to be taken seriously. 

“Endlessly.” 

“Do you want some help?” 

“No.” 

“Do you need help?” He rephases much to Taehyung’s dismay. 

“…Maybe.” His surrender is worth it for the cackle Seokjin lets out as he walks behind Taehyung. “B-but I doubt you can do anything.” He grumbles as he feels Seokjin’s knuckles brush against his fatty sides as he takes a hold of the straps. The rolls that won’t leave no matter how much he sucks in. 

“Let me try…” He can practically hear Seokjin’s concentrated frown as he brings the straps behind the younger; Taehyung can feel them sink into his folds once more. There’s a beat of silence, where Seokjin doesn’t move the straps and seems to be calculating his options. Taehyung doesn’t want to wonder what the view must be like for him from behind. Finally, he instructs. “Suck in.” 

“Tsk, you think I didn’t try that already?” He responds a little defensively. 

“Just do it!” Seokjin’s voice is close to a whine. And Taehyung ‘eughs’ but compiles. Taking in a deep breath and forcing his pudgy belly inwards.

There’s another beat of silence, before Seokjin talks again. “That’s it?”

“What do you mean that’s it?” Taehyung can’t help his voice sounds a little breathless, still holding in. The end of his sentence cut short as a tug of the straps coaxes the air out of him. Straps not only sinking further into his rolls, but the front of the apron beginning to fold into itself too, riding up the curve of his belly just a little.

“Suck in more!” 

“I can’t- OUF!” The sudden tug cinches, or at least tries to cinch, at Taehyung’s middle. Fat overspilling from over the straps in a poor attempt to resist the restrictions of the apron. 

“Yeah, we are gonna need some extra fabric for these straps.” 

“You didn’t need to choke me to know that.” Taehyung is still catching his breath. And once he stops sucking in, he can feel all of Seokjin’s efforts come undone as the straps go back to reaching the far back of his side rolls. 

“I wouldn’t need to help you at all if your apron fit.” Seokjin retorts, giving a light squeeze to one of Taehyung’s thick love handles before moving to the front desk in the classroom. Just in time to avoid the indignant turn Taehyugn does to face him. 

“It’s your fault I don’t fit into the apron.” Or any of my clothes, for that matter. He holds back from saying. Seokjin has his back to him as he rummages through the drawers of a desk that most definitely isn’t the TA’s. 

“What did I do?” There’s a chuckle attached at the end of his question. That makes Taehyung believe Seokjin knows exactly what he did. “Aha!” He doesn’t let the younger answer, as he pulls out… A string. 

Walking victorious towards Taehyung, this time with a charming smile, he instructs again. “Turn around.” He complies, too curious to question the older’s strategy. Taehyung turns around and lifts his arms a bit. 

He can feel Seokjin take one of the straps once more. And in the comfortable silence with a very concentrated tone he asks. “Where were we?”

“I was gonna tell you how you are responsible for my apron not fitting.” He deadpans. 

“Ah yes… Blasphemy.” Seokjin giggles behind him. Now he is grabbing the other strap. 

“It’s not! Your trick for critique-anxiety worked too well.” The younger hopes his pout is coming through his voice for Seokjin to hear. “I’m surprised you aren’t struggling to put in your aprons either.” 

“I used that trick maybe one or twice for my final exams. Not… every single critique I was ever given.”

“It’s not my fault I get more anxious than you.”

“Was critique-anxiety the one making you eat during your normal classes too? I’m surprised you didn’t bring any snacks to this one. I feel robbed.” 

“How did you know I was eating in other classes?” 

“You have a bit of a reputation by now, Tae.” The endearment is ever present in Seokjin’s voice. “There!” He stands up straight finally, giving Taehyung’s peaking love handles, exposed by all the cinching and tugging of his shirt, one last celebratory pat. Making them giggle right above the slightly tight waistband of Jungkook’s joggers. “Your apron now fits. You are very very welcome.” 

“Thanks…” Taehyung tries to twist and get a proper look at Seokjin’s contraption, the extra yarn sinking a little into the padding that now covers his back. “And what do you mean I have a reputation?” He snaps up to look Seokjin in the eyes. A little sense of dread coiling at his stomach. 

Or that might just be the apron restricting his belly. 

“Don’t look at me like it’s news to you. Do you think people weren’t gonna notice the guy walking in with a picnic’s worth of food into every class? Even professors know who you are.”  His face is starting to burn and even if he was the one to daringly try and lock eyes with Seokjin to get an answer from him, Taehyung isn’t quite liking what he is hearing. 

So… to make his case even worse, he eyes the clock. Still 15 minutes till class starts, he has time. “I’ll go buy some breakfast.” He states pouty, feeling heat flare at his cheeks. 

“That definitely will help the apron.” Seokjin’s comment is already far behind, because Taehyung is fleeing this humiliating scene with quick steps. He doesn’t turn around to respond, his face burns too much for him to do so. 

He won’t buy much, he tells himself. Just keep himself out of class long enough for other students to arrive. So Seokjin stops making him blush. 

The cafeteria is always a welcoming sight, the staff already knowing his face, much like in that bakery that he still very much goes to on a daily basis. Putting a polite smile for the staff as he begins buying anything he can get his hands on. Once he starts it’s so easy to just keep piling his plate. Getting his money’s worth on that student meal plan. But it’s so hard to stop. 

Only once Taehyung can’t physically fit more into his plate does he realize he overdid it. He glances at the wall clock again. Ten minutes. 

Taehyung can definitely manage to eat all this before class. 

With a decided nod he takes his plate to one of the empty tables, still a bit before most students start to get lunch. And Taehyung will definitely be there with everyone else a second time too, even if his meal plan doesn’t cover it. He knows his hunger won’t let him skip a meal, no matter how much he ate before. 

He feels like such a pig. Out of control and eating to avoid the nerves and the confrontation that Seokjin seems so comfortable bringing to his class. Forcing Taehyung to acknowledge just how fat he got. 

And that maybe it’s not entirely Seokjin’s fault either. 

Taehyung shovels that thought right to the back of his mind where it belongs with a bite of his food. He wasn’t entirely aware of what he had gotten either. It was a nice surprise when sweet cinnamon batter took over his lips. Sweet, of course he got sweet. The taste so addictive and soothing to his body, he can’t help his other hand reach for something else to bring to his lips, a cookie. Taehyung can pretty much feel the clock ticking, interchangeably taking bites of the two baked goods, looking like a ravenous animal in front of the few people scattered across the cafeteria. 

10 minutes, he reminds himself, forcing to stretch his lips with bigger bites, mixing the sweets as he goes. Not caring if the tastes don’t fit or blur together. All Taehyung wants is for the comforting ballooned feeling to take over him.

The one that gets him to forget about critiques.

About Seokjin’s charming smile.

About how he managed to get so fat in the course of the semester. Ironically. 

He is starting to feel it. Bloat beginning to make his shirt ride up a little bit at his side. 

No, not his shirt. 

Jungkook’s oversized shirt. 

The stretch of his stomach making his belly, that now was covered in a thick layer of chub no matter the size of the bloat, press harder against the poor apron. Taehyung can feel the way the extra lace Seokjin used to tie the knot, sinks into the fat padding that covers his lower back. 

5 minutes, he glances at the clock. And he still has nearly half of his serving left. Maybe he underestimated himself. 

Maybe, Taehyung isn’t as much of a pig as Seokjin’s eyes make him out to be. 

He leans closer to the plate in an attempt to make the food pass the stretch of his opened lips faster. But he feels something snap behind him, and a sudden pressure release from his swollen abdomen. 

The straps of his apron broke. 

That gets him to stop eating. Staring at the plate blankly. Refusing to get a proper look at himself. 

Taehyung definitely won’t be attending class. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Jimin can’t see another video of “music majors when they remember they need listen to a song due at midnight”. The ones Jungkook doesn’t get tired of sending him. Excuse you, Jimin spends more time in his home-made studio than Jungkook does in his silly little labs. No, he doesn’t have a song-listening due at midnight. Jimin has to finish the rough demos of a soundtrack by the end of the week. Not quite the same, no. 

These thoughts keep running through his mind as Jimin leans inches away from his monitor, FL Studio open as his own raw creation blasts through his overly expensive (maybe a little pretentious) headphones. He heard Jungkook and Taehyung come in at some point in the night, he is sure they’ve taken care of dinner. Lately this apartment has started to ditch the “skipping meals” plan that most broke students seemed to adopt. But Jimin always has a hard time remembering to take breaks when he has projects like his one plaguing his mind. 

It’s 2 am already. He can wait until he has this one song finished before forcing himself to the kitchen. The weight of this project already lulling his senses and numbing him to such trivial things like eating and “drinking something that doesn’t have caffeine”. Jimin is way beyond the line of feeling uncomfortable, having pulled several late nights of work, letting Taehyung’s snoring guide the beat of his songs. Rolling around to class the next morning looking worse than in his prima-ballerina days. Jimin works nearly in autopilot as he adds layers of texture to the song, he doesn’t care if it’s shit. He just wants it to be finished. 

Done. 

And it’s only… 3:45am.

Fuck. 

He needs to eat something and go to bed. 

Nothing could’ve prepared him for the complete masacre of what used to be “dinner”. Absolutely nothing, the hogs of his roommates left him nothing. 

Jimin thought he had it under control. The stress, his emotions, the hunger. But his eyes begin to water against him. He doesn’t have anything to eat! And he has been looking forward to it for hours! And he is sure his roommates didn’t mean to but his bottom lip is wobbling against his will and he has to cup his lips before he dejectedly walks back to his room. Sniffs heard throughout the room. 

In an attempt to distract himself, he downloads the file and sends it to Yoongi. Rubbing his eyes and leaning on his chair, his entire body catching up with him, pain swelling on his lower back and his knees as he tries to stretch.

And as if to make matters worse, his stomach complains with a roar. 

He can’t help it, his face is scrunching up and sniffles are making his body spasm gently and his shoulders tense with each shaky intake of air. Before he can stop it, his hands are covering his face, where he feels himself begin to cry. 

Ping!

The notification noise anticlimactically cuts him off. Hands leaving his face to peak at his phone. 

yoongi hyung: what are you doing up 

you: what are YOU doing up?!

yoongi hyung: i asked first. 

you: was finishing the thing i sent you

you: and crying

Jimin is one to try and find humor in his everyday misery, but he does feel a little guilt when he sees Yoongi take a bit longer to reply. 

yoongi hyung: why were you crying?

It’s his time to ponder his answer. And, deciding he doesn’t want to get a lecture about his time management skills and Jimin’s incredible ability to neglect his basic needs, he chooses something that’s still very much true. 

you: tae and kook didn’t save me any food (｡•́︿•̀｡)

His response is immediate then. 

yoongi hyung: wanna come over? 

yoongi hyung: I also need your opinion on something. 

Tsk.

yoongi hyung: and i got food

Sold. 

you: be there in a bit!

Jimin tries to be quiet. But also, when he worries about possibly waking up his roommates, he quickly realizes he doesn’t care. 

Serves them right. Hmf. 

He texts Yoongi when he is outside, really not waiting to wake Hoseok up. He doesn’t deserve it. But to his surprise it’s him who opens the door for the younger. 

“Oh. Hobi hyung.” Jimin pouts a little worried. And the older beats him to it. 

“If you’re going to apologize, don’t. I was awake too.” His smile is gentle, but his hair is a little messy and his face is a little puffed up.

Either Hoseok is lying and Yoongi and him totally woke him up. Or the couple was having a fun night and Jimin interrupted. 

He doesn’t know which one makes him feel worse. 

“Still, thanks.” Jimin’s smile is a little guilty but some of his worry smelt away when he hugs Hoseok tight. A little bit of that uncomfortable tension on his body leaving with the lithe (but strong) man squeezes at his sides. 

“Yoongi is in the kitchen. Only you can get him to start cooking at 4am.” 

“He told me he had food already!” Jimin whines as he walks in.

“Well…He lied. I offered to grab something from a convenience store. But you know Yoongi wouldn’t let you have that.” The chuckle attached at the end of his sentence screams endearment. Jimin follows behind him into the couple’s apartment like his second home. Which it practically is. 

Yoongi and Hoseok were both the ones to first introduce him to music in highschool. And Jimin was the witness of the very beginnings of the most obnoxiously romantic couple he knows. A delicious smell already takes over the cozy apartment. “Hyung, you’re cooking for me?” He smiles teasing when they make their way to the kitchen. Loving to tease whenever Yoongi shows his tender side; the one that always comes when Jimin needs it most. 

“And I might throw it all out if you don’t shut it.” He pouts and Jimin only giggles, launching forward for a back hug to the other. His cheek pressing to his shoulder. 

“You wouldn’t.” He says with certainty, and a shit-eating smile. “You love me.” Jimin doesn’t care if Yoongi doesn’t answer, all he needs is a quick peek at what the older is cooking. Kimchi jjigae, Jimin’s personal favorite. 

“Go go to the studio.” He tries to shimmy Jimin off. “Babee.” The youngest feels particularly accomplished when he gets Yoongi to whine for his partner. Hoseok chuckles behind them both, taking Jimin’s hand gently. 

“Come on, we can set up in the office.” Jimin doesn’t need much convincing. Easy to manhandle around as Hoseok drops his arm over the youngest’s shoulders. He can’t help it, being in both of their presence is so soothing. That and the all nighter (or week of consecutive all nighters) is catching up to him.

He comes here so often, the little room turned into a studio not only has two chairs for the producer couple, but a third one for Jimin’s frequent visits. Well… He visited a lot more often before this hellish semester. But it still feels like home when he tiredly plops down smiling at Hoseok. 

“I missed you.” He says simply, getting Hoseok’s expression to soften as he sits beside him. “Sorry for crashing your sex.” And his sleepy state immediately ruins it; judging by the choked sound Hoseok lets out.

“Don’t worry about it.” He says instead of denying it. In his sleepy state, Jimin’s mind unhelpfully provides him with mental images. 

Not that he’s thought about this before. Or anything. 

Yoongi thankfully interrupts his brain, kimchi jjigae bowl in his hand. “You said you sent me something to listen to?” He takes a seat at Jimin’s other side. Who can’t answer because he is already shoveling a mouthful of stew into his cheeks. He only nods. “Let’s give it a listen then.” 

The youngest gulps suddenly then. “R-right now?” He can’t help the nerves. Hoseok is right here, he only shows Hoseok his finished pieces and this was just a rough demo. His eyes darted to both of his sides, suddenly self conscious. Jimin doesn’t know if he can handle the exposure right now. 

But he doesn’t exactly know how to tell that to his two hyungs. Because that would just mean he has something to be self conscious about. And yes, Jimin has endlessly heard both Hoseok and Yoongi tell him that demos don’t have to be perfect. Jimin just chooses to not apply that to himself. 

“S-sure, sure, let’s play it.” Jimin corrects himself. Not very smoothly. But after an exchange of looks between Yoongi and Hoseok, they decide to give into it anyway. 

“Fine. But we aren’t giving feedback until tomorrow.” Hoseok states opening the file on Yoongi’s computer. 

“What? Why?” He pouts.

“Because if you knew you could fix something you wouldn’t sleep at all.” There’s an endeared chuckle attached to the end of his sentence, and a big warm hand massaging the base of Jimin’s neck. But even that is not enough to soothe the sudden knot that tied into his stomach. 

Feeling the dread as the file downloads, and Hoseok starts opening the producing software that’s much better than his; Jimin busies himself with the first thing he finds. And that’s the delicious homemade dinner Yoongi made him. Leaning back on the chair, his knees up to his chest and the bowl close to his face as he begins to scarf down the delicious homemade stew. It takes over his senses, warmth trickling down his throat and setting perfectly on his stomach. 

Jimin would much rather focus on that. Especially motivated as the first chords of his demo start to play in the expensive speaker system. He buries the first beginnings of stomach-twisting cringe with warm spicy goodness. Lulling his senses and soothing his heart rate. Almost warming along the knots of his back and relaxing them at least somewhat. The speakers are too loud though, pulling Jimin back to the stress of this assignment. The endless work, endless stress. The endless idea in the back of his mind that he has his two idols to live up to. 

It only encourages him to tilt the bowl a little upwards and begin to focus into slurping it down. Not caring if all the broth begins to settle a little uncomfortable in his stomach. He welcomes the feeling, it drowns out everything else. The breathing through his nose echoing in the actually quite big ceramic bowl. The warmth of the food making its way down and curling at his belly in a way that makes his head feel fuzzy and nice. The demo becomes background white noise as his thick gulps become louder and rhythmic, easy to get lost in. 

He is gasping for air the moment the song plays its last chords. He completely spared himself from the experience, he realized gleefully. But immediately after, realizes Jimin ate all that food in the 4 minutes the song lasted. Or well… He doesn’t realize, per se, his stomach makes a very painful statement; accompanied with a loud embarrassing rumble. Loud enough that makes both Hoseok and Yoongi turn their heads to him for the first time in the night.

At least Jimin hopes so, he wouldn’t want to seem like a pig in front of them. 

“You finished it?” Hoseok is the one to ask, shock clear in his voice. 

“He hasn’t eaten a thing in who knows how long, leave him alone.” Yoongi hushes him with a pout, before turning to Jimin; who is having to concentrate on his breathing. “Want some dessert with that?” 

Even turning his head to face Yoongi feels like a heavy effort. Lips a little tingly from the spice of the stew. Parted as he breathes heavily, having to collect his hazy thoughts even to realize what he’s being asked. Let alone what he wants. 

“N–no… No, I ate too fast.” He sighs, Hoseok sets his hand on Jimin’s thigh, rubbing endeared. 

“Okay, we heard your thing. So it’s bedtime now.” His chuckle is gentle, and Jimin can feel Hoseok’s knuckles brush against his rounded tummy when his rubbing inches up his thigh, just before rubbing back down. It makes him realize just how big the portion was, looking down at himself as he nods lazily. Jimin sees the curve that pushes against his snug shirt. Little but no less mesmerizing. 

Jimin has never bloated like that. 

He is too entranced to hear the couple get up, only when Jimin’s vision is obscured by a hand that’s a lot less dainty than Hoseok; Yoongi’s. “Come on, up.” He looks up tiredly and dumbly. As if all his blood is leaving his head and traveling down to circle his stomach and help him digest. That mixed with the sleep deprivation making him lethargic, almost drunk-like. 

The grunt Jimin lets out as he stands makes the two older giggle. They each wrap an arm around Jimin’s lower back, letting him melt in their hold as they walk to bed. 

“I can take the futon.” Yoongi mumbles to Hoseok, basically hearing their silent communication as he stares ahead. Jimin’s head snaps back up to obstruct their vision at both his sides. 

“Your bed is big enough.” He states simply. Not asking before he plops in the middle of the bed, not questioning its state of messy. Shifting perfectly in the middle till he looks at them both with a smile. 

They’ve done this so many times already, it only takes the couple a few seconds to recompose themselves as they walk to the bed too, to lay at Jimin’s sides. Making the younger feel properly at peace, the memories of his stress and how awful he had felt about his demo already blurred by the nice rumbling sensation of his stomach digesting. His thoughts silenced, only a faint comment going on in his head as he falls asleep. 

He should definitely try this more often for all his producing sessions.   

They wake up at noon. At least Jimin does, the bed is empty and the sunlight is warming the covers perfectly. The sound of faint talking comes from outside, and it’s not nearly as strong as the smell of food. 

Looks like today he will be putting his theory to the test. 

He has lunch first thing, and then Yoongi and Hoseok make a spot for him in their home studio. That, now that he has the full proper hours of sleep, he finally notices how much better and more professional it is than the one he has at home. He isn’t sure if it’s the most productive Saturday afternoon of his life. But it’s definitely the one he’s enjoyed producing the most in. At least for the last few… semesters. 

When he leaves, the couple makes sure to tell him that “You always have a free spot here if you need some creative break.” And Jimin clings to that. It’s perfect, isn’t it? Jimin gets to see his hyungs more often, rekindle the relationship he had neglected ever since getting overworked in college. But not feel too guilty about hanging out with them since he gets to be productive too!

He doesn’t even have to think it the few days later when he texts them to hang out again. And Jimin welcomes it with open arms, even  when it becomes a couple-of-times-a-week thing. Getting to eat their delicious cooking and work on his projects without the churning of his stomach distracting him, or overworking himself to the point where his lower back stabs for a break. 

Yoongi will always go to the bathroom and come back with snacks for everyone but Jimin mostly works his way through them, Hoseok will stretch and whine a bit and urge Jimin to watch some short episodes of the shitty reality shows (that jimin tried to resist before inevitably getting invested in) as a break. Usually accompanied by some delivery, doesn’t have to be a meal, sometimes it’s ice cream or some baked goods “to boost up energy”. And around lunch and dinner, they all get up to just hang out around the kitchen.

The youngest hasn’t felt this well rested in ages. And… Ironically, workflow hasn’t been this smooth in ages either. Jimin spares himself from saying that out loud and getting a big fat “I told you so.” from both of them. But it’s clear they know, from the way they encourage Jimin and praise their work and praise how much more energetic he sounds and how his work starts feeling a little bit more creative and alive. 

He personally would blame having his two biggest inspirations in the room with him while he produces, but he supposes the sleep and food have something to do with it too. 

Jungkook and Taehyung won’t stop teasing him about it. But they just don’t get the friendship he has with Hoseok and Yoongi. A relationship that feels like he isn’t just regaining the closeness he had with the couple, but Jimin feels impossibly closer than ever before. Maybe the age difference was too apparent in highschool. Now that they’re all adults, Jimn can feel the way Yoongi and Hoseok treat him differently, letting him get closer. 

Babying him still, always. But they trust Jimin more, not trying to guard him as much as they used to in highschool. Guarding that only resulted in forced distance. When Jimin wanted nothing more than to get close… 

Maybe a little too close. 

He’s matured now, and so has their relationship. Jimin is fine with this. His crush in highschool was definitely a little too noticeable, and probably the reason why the couple tried to restrain themselves around the younger. Though now, he gets to see them behave like a couple. And it’s nothing short of endearing. 

The way Yoongi’s hands always find their way to Hoseok’s skin even in subtle ways. When it happens, even if he is deeply concentrated working, or halfway through talking, a small smile brightens Hoseok’s face.They can’t get enough of each other, Jimin would feel bad about third wheeling if it weren’t such a delight to see. 

Or if the food weren’t so delicious. 

And if the couple’s bed weren’t so comfy. 

His semester started like one of the worst in Jimin’s university years, and now he doesn’t remember ever being this easy going with all his assignments. With the olders’ assistance and inspiration, and care. It was like producing had never been easier. But he still can’t help getting nervous whenever it’s time to show his work to either Yoongi or Hoseok. Or worse, both of them. 

Today Jimin should feel relieved, it’s the day he is finally handing in that assignment, the soundtrack he had been working on for most of the second half of the year. But Jimin can’t give himself the pleasure, because he knows Yoongi and Hoseok won’t let him get by this achievement without them listening to it. 

Thankfully, though, the couple prepared a celebration feast. So at least Jimin will have something to keep busy with as the 20 minutes of soundtrack play in the background. The sole trick that has been getting him through every work session with his hyungs. 

Tonight, his distraction is looking like a big big portion of KFC. Because he mumbled craving fried chicken a few days ago, and of course, Yoongi and Hoseok weren’t gonna let that slide. He is eager to silence the jittery feeling down his navel, anxious to know what they will think of all this hard work. 

In the back of his mind, Jimin knows they would never say any critique without the perfect words. And Jimin knows how to take critiques, he doesn’t mind them! Unlike Taehyung. But something about them makes Jimin’s lower back shiver with goosebumps. 

So he doesn’t hold back from picking up the bucket of fried chicken and bringing it to his lap. Beginning to eat even as Yoongi starts to decompress the zip file of Jimin’s album. The crunch perfect to drown out the noise around him, that and the oily delicious flavor giving him something nice to focus on. Already chewing on a drumstick as the first chords start to play on Yoongi’s nice speakers. 

He’s heard these songs so many times, engraved them into his mind through the course of the semester, that they’re surprisingly easy to let fade into the background. That or the chicken is too good. Jimin closes his eyes too, for full immersion. During the last few months, with him inhabiting Yoongi and Hoseok’s apartment more than ever before, he has actually grown somewhat of a resistance. It’s harder to have enough food to distract him for as long as he needs. 

Jimin has gotten faster at eating, is what he wants to say. 

But all this chicken should last him enough. Or at least long enough till he is full and hazy and able to drown out the critical ear that plagues him whenever he is forced to listen to any of his work. His chewing becomes more fervent as he starts to nip the drumstick clean of meat. Letting himself get lost in the hunger he feels. Convincing himself at least. 

It’s been a while since Jimin felt properly hungry. Impossible under his hyungs’ care. But still, he convinces himself to grab another piece of fried chicken even as he is still chewing the first one, barely managing to swallow as he pushes the new one in. Focusing on anything but the music, the crunchiness of the fried batter, resonating between his ears, the oil coating his tongue and the roof of his mouth, the taste that’s so delicious it makes Jimin feel the closest next thing to hunger. 

Gluttony. 

Relishing the sensation of warmth that spreads at the bottom of his stomach. The faster he eats the more time he has before he realizes just how heavily all this food is gonna make him feel later. Though, Jimin has realized, he doesn’t mind that heavy hazy aftermath either. In fact, it motivates him even more, the soundtrack becoming plain background noise. As he fully succumbs to it, each hand with a piece of chicken as Jimin loses his manners in an attempt to fit as much food as he can.  Stretching his lips around him, thankful that he is sitting a little bit behind the two older producers, so they can’t see him like this. Desperate and unmannered. But he bets the animalistic chewing sounds are revealing enough. 

It does the trick though, the music sounding more pleasant the fuller he gets, leaning back in his chair with the bucket still on his lap as he continues to eat at a more heinous and lethargic pace, wanting to keep this sedated high state for the entire duration of the soundtrack. He can feel his bloat begin to brush the bucket of chicken, but he doesn’t feel as full, not yet at least. 

Like he said, he’s built some resistance, even if he feels his stomach press against the fabric of his shirt and the bucket flush against his tummy. Jimin feels like he definitely has more room to finish this serving at least. 

As the soundtrack reaches its climax, so does he, his eating becoming impossibly more ravenous even as he starts feeling a proper tightness down his navel. Even if he has to push the chicken past his lips a little more forcefully, and leaning to eat the drumsticks becomes a little bit harder with the tautness of his bloat. The pile of clean bones collecting at the bottom of the bucket. 

Whipping his oily fingers on his shirt, sensation the curved stiffness of his belly. The pressure of his hands a welcoming feeling, it releases some of the tight stretch that makes his breathing a little heavier. Or that might just be the way he is suffocating himself with pieces of fried chicken, edges of his lips hurting a bit as he stretches over the humongous bites. Probably both. 

He has never timed it more perfectly, one oily hand reaching for the bucket while the other throws another clean bone in, and finds that he had finished it. Just as the last outro song begins to play. Jimin opens his eyes for the first time since he started eating, looking down at the bucket to find that yeah, he finished it. The warmth that spreads across his stomach borders on painful, but he adores it nonetheless, soothing and numbing. He can see his bloat too, stretching the shirt tight and pressing back against the bucket, rounded out cutely. A small plushness rounding the bottom of it. 

Though when Jimin looks up, he sees both Hoseok and Yoongi looking over their shoulders at him. The mess he made. 

The mess he turned himself into. 

“I thought we were eating after… to celebrate.” Hoseok is the first to comment, an endeared smile growing on his face. Oh… They had… mentioned something along those lines. 

“I—” Jimin tries to speak, though his voice sounds thick and greasy with all the oil. And speaking itself feels like an extension on his poor breathless state. Seems like Yoongi takes pity on him. 

“Leave him, he was hungry.” He wasn’t, and by the little smile Yoongi has on, he seems to be thinking the same. “Wanna go to bed, Min?” His tone is so gentle with him, like Yoongi knows just how lethargic and drowsy he feels right now. 

“N-no…” He huffs out a breath after the sentence, like itself is an effort. “What did you think?” 

“I don’t know if you’re awake enough to hear.” Hoseok giggles, getting a light slap to the thigh from his boyfriend. Prompting him to correct himself. “We loved it, Jiminie. Your hard work shows.” 

“Really?” His tone sounds childishly hopeful as it does sleepy. 

“Yes.” Though Hoseok’s tone sounds genuine nonetheless. “Your take on things is so unique, Jimin.” 

That seems to settle him, Yoongi prompts. “You can go to bed, I’ll take this.” He stands up and picks up the empty bucket. Leaving Jimin bare to his impressive bloat. The hem of his shirt even rode up a little at the very bottom, leaving a sliver of skin he hadn’t noticed before. But he is painfully self aware now. Blush creeping up his cheeks as he tries to fold his arms over his torso in a way that’s casual, but also hides the damage. 

Jimin knows he is unsuccessful when Hoseok giggles. “It’s not that bad, Minnie.” 

“I look huge…” The words slip out easier and less filtered when he is this full, all that food lulling him to sleep. 

“Well it suits you a bit.” Hoseok is standing up too, offering a hand. “Come, let’s get you to bed.” That sounds like the best idea anyone has ever had. 

He’s overeaten a lot in this apartment, looking for ways to sedate himself into enjoying his music more. But never was it this hard to stand up, even with Hoseok’s hearty pull upwards Jimin can’t help a grunt slipping from the back of his throat. Feeling all the food in his stomach shift with the movement, he has to cup the (naked) bottom of his bloat for some comfort. It’s not that taut. 

Hoseok is there to help, wrapping a slim arm around Jimin’s waist, letting the dainty palm settle on the side of his tummy as they slowly make their way to the bedroom. The younger feels his breath shallow as if he had come from a marathon. Every step making his bloat bounce against the waistband of his sweatpants and aching a little in the process. He’s never been more thankful for the cozy size of Hoseok and Yoongi’s apartment, because it’s only a few meters before he is plopping heavily onto the center of the bed. The movement caused a burp to push its way out of his lips. Jimin whines and throws his head back, careless enough to let both of his hands settle on the curve of his bloat and massage the tight skin. Coaxing a few more burps to slip out, though he lets them fill out his cheeks instead of ripping them out. 

He can feel Hoseok’s eyes on him, even with Jimin’s own eyes closed in a mixture of bliss and discomfort. Hearing a few footsteps get nearer. When Hoseok mumbles “Look at him.” His smile is audible too. 

“Are you alright, Jimin-ah?” Yoongi’s voice has a chuckle attached to the end of it, and Jimin can feel the bed shift as the older makes his way to sit next to him. He wants to answer, of course, but all that leaves him is a pouty whine. Opening his eyes only to put them in puppy mode for both of his hyungs. 

“Want a heat pad?” Yoongi’s voice offers kindly. 

“We leant it to my sister.” Hoseok comments, though his voice feels closer. And sure enough, there’s another feeling of shift at Jimin’s other side. “But I think we can give him something else.” Trustful, Jimin doesn’t bother to open his eyes to know what that is. But instead he feels the grazing of Hoseok’s soft but cold fingers against the center of his bloat. “Can we?” He doesn’t need to specify, Jimin knows they both saw him massaging his gut after stuffing himself. 

All he does is nod, before Hoseok’s palm is pressing flush to the warm skin, his fingers are squishing at the center of his taut stomach. Jimin’s jaw drops, a soft gasp leaving his lips. “Is this okay?” It prompts the question, that he answers wordlessly again with a quick eager nod. 

The extra reassurance makes another hand graze a bit lower on his stomach, not as soft, calloused, but warmer. So irrevocably Yoongi’s. His massages are slower but firm, some of it pressing against the naked bit of skin. Though only for a few seconds, before he tugs down (or tries to) the hem of Jimin’s shirt. Only for it to ride back up again to sit on the biggest part of his bloat. Yoongi doesn’t bother to pull it down a second time. Instead, the tips of his fingers, roughened up by the guitar, slip under the hem. Making Jimin sigh in relief, the older’s hand like a heat pad on its own, as Yoongi begins to slowly grip and knead the bottom. 

Hoseok takes initiative. Not just letting his hand slip under the snug shirt. But tugging it further up Jimin’s torso. Exposing the rounded out, swollen tummy, his hand setting on the hardest part right at the top. The gentle pressure makes a groan slip from the back of his throat, throwing his head back. 

“You really overdid it, Min-ah…” Hoseok muses, there’s a teasing tone hiding somewhere under his warm voice. But Jimin feels too much bliss to properly acknowledge it, thighs shuddering as his back arches to their touches. 

Yoongi is painfully quiet, but his hand keeps moving slowly along the bottom of his belly. Massaging what feels like a bloat, but is somewhat easy on the hands, easier than the top where Hoseok’s hand is. Pudgy…

A choked sound leaves his lips, it errands a small but no-less teasing chuckle from Hoseok. “That’s it, you worked so hard today.” His voice sounds closer to Jimin’s ear. The warmth coming from his stomach only grew with the presence of the older next to him. 

“Don’t hold back.” Hoseok’s breath brushes against his ear and it’s a sudden contrast with the warmth that’s beginning to emanate from his skin. His heavy breathing hitches, feeling not only the bloat coaxing wheezes of air, but Hoseok’s closeness too. That does nothing to help his breathing either. And he is sure Hoseok knows his impact, his smile pretty much palpable when he hums. “Hm?” 

Jimin doesn’t think he can answer something properly in the stuffed state he is in. Let alone with the way his heart skips a beat. 

“O–Okay.” He manages to whisper, letting his head tilt to the side, meeting Hoseok’s shoulder. 

“That’s it.” The older’s voice is barely above a whisper, the hand on the shelf of Jimin’s rounded bloat pushing him closer to Hoseok’s side, to lean a bit of his weight against his lithe torso. He doesn’t resist the guidance, not caring about the suffocating heat if he is sharing it with Hoseok. But the push against the top of his stomach, it makes him grunt at first, feeling the tight pressure. 

And as he shifts his hips lethargically, though, a deep burp comes out. Right next to Hoseok’s face. 

That makes Jimin’s eyes pop open, feeling pretty much the bucket of ice water that showers him. Meeting Hoseok’s equally widened expression. 

“Pfthahahah!” Bubbly giggles make Hoseok’s body shake. A sense of relief washing over Jimn’s suddenly tense muscles. As Jimin follows along with a shy chuckle. He notices, Hoseok wasn’t watching him. He was watching at Yoongi. 

Jimin had almost forgotten about him. And he is met with a stoic, serious expression; a tint of pink on his face. Was it always that color? 

“I think you should go to sleep, Jiminie.” Hoseok interrupts the younger’s analysis with a smile. His hands guiding Jimin away from his own body to lay fully against the bed. He doesn’t fight back but he probably has a confused pouty expression on his face. Luckily Hoseok seems to notice. “We haven’t had dinner yet.” His tone is so endeared. “We’ll come back to you in a bit, okay?” 

Jimin can only nod, his eyes avoiding Hoseok as he continues to study Yoongi’s expression. But the eldest doesn’t look back. Staring at some spot in the mattress. 

“Night, Min.” Hoseok’s hand combs his fringe out of his forehead as he stands up, Yoongi following suit. But only mumbling a quiet:

“Night.” 

Jimin stays quiet himself, controlling his breathing as he watches the couple walk out of the room. 

He doesn’t know what just happened, but he is pretty certain he ruined it. But, the now soothed, warmness clinging to his belly is pulling also at his eyelids, lulling him to sleep. 

Though he is soothed to find the couple snoring besides him when he wakes up. 

Not all that ruined, then. 

It would make sense… Now that Jimin’s semester project is finished, and his vacations are starting, Jimin doesn’t have a need to be hanging out at their apartment to stress-manage once every two days. 

But they keep inviting him. And…. Jimin really likes their company. And their apartment is much nicer than the shoebox he is sharing with Jungkook and Taehyung. And now he can just hang out with them without the stress of his assignments. 

It’s a no-brainer. 

And, if he felt the couple slowly open up to him more during these months, putting down the walls they had with Jimin in highschool.Now it’s like Jimin can free himself too. Letting himself hang out in their apartment and not just their secluded studio. Hanging out happily on the couch, Hoseok by his side, feeling comfortable enough to cuddle close. Until Yoongi got back from his music teacher gig and then they started working on dinner. 

Or even going out vinyl shopping with Yoongi, since Hoseok thinks he has an obsession. And getting to hear the older talk for hours, even asking for Jimin’s opinion on which he prefers. They stop to get take out and bring it back home, to eat dinner while they listen to the entire thing. With Hoseok’s too-warm-to-be-disapproving expression on his face. 

And Jimin still sleeps in their bed, with them. For tradition’s sake, of course. 

He could also argue it’s for the sake of tradition the way his eating hasn’t diminished in the slightest. Even if a situation like that hasn’t repeated again, and Jimin truly doesn’t have an excuse to stuff himself at that anxious desperate pace anymore, he’s now switched to a constant state of snacking. 

Now that he doesn’t have assignments to keep him concentrated, or to have prize-meals, once he finishes said assignments; and that he is all around just hanging out more at their house. Jimin began to make himself comfortable in the couple’s kitchen. Feeling free to rummage through cabinets; during the course of the summer finding more and more of his favorites. Which might have something to do with the one time (in their moment of peak domesticity) Jimin went with the couple to buy groceries and they let him pick out a few things since “you’re there often enough.” 

A joke when he heard it, but those things have become now regular stock in the Min-Jung household. Much to Jimin’s detriment. When he once felt embarrassed to only be at the couple’s house to work on his assignments. Now he feels guilty of emptying their kitchen.

But they’re so encouraging. If not to say, they’re the ones filling Jimin’s plate. Whether it’s giving him second or sometimes third servings of their dinner. Or taking the empty bowl of snacks Jimin has by his side on the couch, only to come back with it filled again. And all this on top of Jimin’s slow wanderings into the kitchen, standing on his toes as he reaches for the couple’s cabinets. Already accustomed with where to find his stuff, and stray away from Hoseok’s granola (He’s invited Jimin to try it… but he’s grown a taste for… yummier things). 

Jimin notices a shift, Hoseok cuddles him closer, even if the situation like the one of his last assignment didn’t repeat. Hoseok’s hands still wander and pat and praise where they can get away with. Which is way more than whatever Hoseok is doing. But he likes this. The push and pull, the giddy smiles and playful glances. It feels like something that would’ve made highschool Jimin swoon, but now not only is he different and (in his personal opinion) much better and matured, but Hoseok is too. These past months it’s felt like all he has been doing is rediscovering his old crushes and falling for their new selves all over again. 

He hasn’t been noticing that shift… with Yoongi. Always friendly, always warm. Always indulging to Jimin. But at arms length. Still some of that hesitance from highschool clinging to him. The younger can’t say he blames him. But instead he is getting mixed feelings about all the attention Hoseok has been giving him.

Is this okay?

Nothing ever actually happened, Jimin could really just be making all this up, his highschool hopes and dreams coming back to haunt him; due to all the Hoseok-Yoongi exposure. He can imagine it. Yoongi and Hoseok looking at him with a fond warm smile, the one they’ve given Jimin all of his youth. Seeing the two of them fall in love while they were probably aware of the younger’s feelings. Kind but so impossibly condescending. The idea of possibly putting himself in that position is enough of a motivation to push these thoughts to the back of his mind; and rather enjoy this while he can. 

Living almost exclusively in his gym shorts, the waistband of which feels tighter as the summer goes on. The hems at his legs digging into his thighs when they’ve never done that before. Sinking into his ass as he walks. All his shirts are constantly stretched over… his belly. 

This lethargic lifestyle… It made Jimin gain a few. Maybe more. He’d worry about it if Hoseok and Yoongi weren’t treating him all the same, encouraging and doting him with anything he wants. And, Hoseok in particular, Jimin is sure he is touchier. Patting him all over, maybe that’s when Jimin should have noticed the fact he was getting softer all around, before properly plumping up. But… Hoseok’s praise and hands feel too good to focus on anything else. 

It was definitely there, though. Comments like “Your appetite nowadays is something else.” When Jimin is reaching for thirds, stomach is already heavy with a meal but still roomy for more. Still not stuffed over the edge, where he gets breathless, red, and a little sweaty. 

“Got you a refill. Since I know you can work your way through a whole bag of these.” He chuckles while setting another bowl of cookies next to Jimin on the couch. His usual spot in the house nowadays. Even when he is producing he hasn’t been in the studio much at all. He likes to joke that it gives him war flashbacks. 

He feels a bit like an idiot for not noticing. Only really realizing he’s fattened up when he needs to pull his gym shorts under his belly. That hangs comfortably over the waistband and pushes forward, squishy muffin top clinging to his shirt too. Probably the only thing keeping it from riding up the curve of his gut. Though he can feel the sliver of skin up his chubby back when he sinks into his comfortable side of the couch. 

The tightness follows up his thickened waist, where rolls were stacking up comfortably. There’s a logo on the front of his shirt, that’s stretched white from the expanse of his chest. Rounded, pudgy and emasculated. He gives a tentative squeeze. No sight of muscle, thumb and index sinking right in. 

Even the sleeves feel tight sinking into the new chub that hangs from his arms. And the collar of the shirt seems nearly suffocating. Not to mention, this has been the hardest summer has ever been for him. Needing the constant company of the AC. He turns it off out of pity for Hoseok and Yoongi’s electricity bill. But it’s only a few minutes until he starts getting sticky with sweat. 

Jimin hasn’t just gained a few, he’s fat. And he let himself be blissfully ignorant for most of the summer. 

But, then again, Hoseok doesn’t seem to be against it. 

And Yoongi… Well he hasn’t even acknowledged it even happened. 

Hoseok must be the only one who has a thing for it. Just like he seems to be the one who has a thing for Jimin anyway….

If he sounds a bit sulky. He is. 

Though, his conflicted feelings about his weight gain, liking it, liking Hoseok like it, and feeling frustrated at Yoongi’s lack of response, aren’t enough to keep him from showing up. Lately he doesn’t even have to warn the couple, Jimin knows their schedules already. 

Yoongi opens the door for him. “Hey.” Even if he wanted to, Jimin can’t read into Yoongi’s actions. Always so genuine and so particularly warm towards the younger. 

“Hi hyung.” He really tries not to let his own intentions with them ruin the amazing relationship he already has, especially with Yoongi. Who’s only ever given support and love in Jimin’s life. They reach for a hug, the few instances in which Yoongi ever so much as touches him. But they’re always the same, perfectly respectable. His broad hands spread in the upper part of Jimin’s back. Even as the younger’s belly is big enough to overspill from the sides of Yoongi’s torso. Not too long. Perfectly standard. Almost calculated when he separates.

Okay, maybe Jimin is reading too deep into Yoongi.

“Smells delicious.” He puts a giddy smile on his face, and Yoongi rolls his eyes. As if pretending the only reason he didn’t go above and beyond in his cooking is Jimin’s almost daily appearances. 

“Got some Ssambap ready.” That answer alone makes Jimin groan in delight as he walks further into the apartment. 

“Hiii!” He exclaims, waiting for an eager Hoseok to rush to greet him. Give him a proper hug. Hmf. “Is he in the studio?” It wouldn’t be the first time he had to pretty much keep his hand pressed on the doorbell to get the producer couple to take off their headphones and notice he was outside. 

“No, no, Miss Jung had some problems with her car. Hoseok just went to help out.” That makes Jimin’s head turn over his shoulder. Shit-eating smile already on his face. 

“Miss Jung?” 

“Hoseok’s mom.” Yoongi states simply.

“You call your boyfriend’s mom ‘Miss’?” He can’t help the giggle that slips out as he says it. Getting the respected reaction when Yoongi scoffs jokingly offended. “You’ve been together for like 9 years!” 

“I’m a respectful son in law!” He whines. Before his face morphs into a pout. “And she is a very scary woman.” 

That makes Jimin burst into a fit of giggles. Folding over himself, feeling the overhang of his belly fully press against his lap. Shirt riding up his back for him to quickly adjust it down when he stands back up right. 

“You are adorable.” “I don’t know why I keep letting you come here.”  Yoongi deadpans, eyes looking particularly anywhere that isn’t Jimin and his hands adjusting this shirt to fit over his love handles. Ouch.

“Because Hoseok likes me.” If Jimin were bolder he wouldn’t have said it in such a joking tone. But for the sake of keeping the peace. He’s now becoming acutely aware of how long it’s been since he and Yoongi hung out alone. “And because you’ve become incapable of cooking for two anymore.” That gets a smile out of him. 

“I did enough for us to eat ssambap for breakfast and lunch tomorrow…” He confesses. “Are you hungry?” 

“Always.” Jimin grins and follows the older to the kitchen, the smell is downright mouth-watering. But he is stopped as he tries to set the table. 

“No no, I’ll take stuff to the studio. I wanna show you what I’m working on.” The small smile on Yoongi’s face is enough to make Jimin’s stomach twist in excitement. No matter the inner conundrum Jimin has, he will always be excited for either of his hyungs’ music. Especially when he has that confident smile on his face. Yoongi looks amazing when he is confident. 

Is it excitement he feels? Or are those just the butterflies? 

“Got it.” He interrupts himself to nod and turn on his heel. It’s been at least a few months since he’s nestled into the studio. But it feels just as familiar as it did that last time when he handed in his final work… And also all that stuff happened during his final hand in. 

It does feel more cozy than he remembers, feeling himself get hot in the smaller room as he walks to his designated chair. What must’ve been an old one that either Hoseok or Yoongi used. At least judging by the screech it lets out as Jimin settles his weight into it. 

Jimin looks down at himself, it’s a tight fit. His sides nearing the edge of the chair, nearly grazing the armrests. Though he can feel his thighs sink a little into them, as well as overspill from the edge of the chair. Jimin says feel, because he can’t get a proper look at it. His belly, only cramped forward by the armrests, takes a comfortable seat on half of his lap. 

With pursed lips, Jimin makes himself bounce gently onto the chair. His belly slaps against his lap, and the rest of him jiggles in unison. But the chair only gives a few creaks in complaint. 

Okay, he’s good-

Yoongi clears his throat; the younger snaps his face in his direction to find him standing by the door. Did he just see Jimin testing if the chair could hold his weight? 

“I’ll–I’ll go get the uh… the food.” Jimin’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach with the awkward look on the older’s face. Nearly fleeing the scene before he could catch Jimin behaving like the hog he turned himself into. 

Or well… The one they encouraged him into becoming.

A bitter taste takes over his tongue, if he finds it so uncomfortable, then maybe he shouldn’t have been so doting towards Jimin. Let him go completely crazy these past three months, just to show him rejection once he’s gone too far. Once Jimin started realizing he actually still cares what his hyungs think about him. A little bit more than he’s proud to admit; a lot more than he has any right to. 

The sweet smell of ssambap, the pork belly caramelized by its own fat, fills the room as Yoongi walks in with a tray with the big serving, some lettuce, rice, kimchi and two little bowls for them. That little smile is back on his face, like he is trying to brush off the awkwardness of barley a few minutes ago. The taste on Jimin’s mouth becomes unbearingly bitter. Maybe that’s why he is so eager to reach for the assortment of little dishes beginning to assemble his ssambap; while Yoongi begins to open the file he wanted to show him. 

His mind feels far away, deep into himself. It feels unfair that Jimin is being rejected like this when Yoongi and Hoseok were the ones to instigate it. But then again, part of him wonders if the oldest took notice of how Jimin and Hoseok’s relationship became more playful; flirtier. That would be a pretty justified anger. 

“Okay, this is for the opening of a short film they hired me to do.” Yoongi eyes briefly at Jimin with a smile; the younger already with the perfect, maybe a bit overstuffed, piece of lettuce in his hand. “Tell me what you think.” 

Even before he is turning to play the song, Jimin is pushing the ssambap into his mouth, brushing the hem of his stretched lips. Okay, really, overstuffed that one. But he can’t help but feel a little bit seductive as he is wrapping his plump lips around his chubby index finger that pushed the bite in and slipped it out. Already making a second one as he chews. The sucky thing about this dish is, there’s really no way for Jimin to eat ravenously as he has gotten used to. But Jimin can at least let himself relax; feel a bit more confident as the delicious crunchy and perfectly oily pork belly reaches his tongue. 

He has to hold back the moan that threatens to resonate in the back of his throat; it would definitely be disrespectful to interrupt the song with his gorging. Song that by the way, has this ethereal feel to it, gently creating the dreamy setting. It only feels fair that Jimin quickly scrambles to prepare a second bite, only to slowly lean back in the poor office chair. And not even the loud creak can ruin the religious experience that takes over his senses as he closes his eyes, letting himself get lost in the music, followed by the orgasmic balance of flavors that take over his mouth as he drops his jaw and manages to fit the humongous bite in. 

But… The sudden snap of the lumbar support of the chair, with the loud thud of Jimin falling to the ground. That’s enough to snap both of them out of the listening experience. Hitting the carpet floor with a thud and a loud. Not giving Jimin time to react before he is “oufing” against the floor staring at the ceiling. Taking the entire seat of the chair with him and leaving behind the headless wheeled legs. 

Yoongi comes into view from above, looking as stunned as Jimin feels. Maybe a little less out of breath. 

“A-are you okay?” The younger only now has time to feel the mortifying embarrassment, as Yoongi kneels at his side offering his hand. Eyebrows raised almost comically with worry. 

“Y…yeah-” He can only breathe out a reply, following the way Yoongi’s widened eyes graze along his fatteened body. The shock threw away any attempt at subtlety, letting Jimin see… the mortified expression.

Jimin’s heart tightens. Its disgust Yoongi is pathetically trying to mask. 

“I’m–I’m fine, I’m fine.” His chubby hand shoos Yoongi as he slowly starts sitting up. “Ow…” He pouts his lips. Yoongi’s hands rub down his own thighs nervously, not knowing what to do with himself. 

That’s okay, Jimin doesn’t know what to do with himself either. Though, as if to make matters worse, the front door opens. 

Obviously too flabbergasted to act on his own, still looking at Jimin’s body with panicked eyes, Yoongi screams “Office!” Not giving the youngest time to react before hurried steps are thumping quickly through the apartment. Hoseok probably noticed the slight panic in Yoongi’s tone. Both his and Jimin’s head snapping towards the door frame when Hoseok’s slim silhouette appears; in complete quiet as if they were getting caught in the middle of something they shouldn’t have. At least Jimin felt that way. 

“What’s wrong??” Hoseok speaks before he gets there. Both Yoongi and Jimin’s head snapping towards the door frame when Hoseok’s slim silhouette appears; in complete quiet as if they were getting caught in the middle of something they shouldn’t have. At least Jimin felt that way. Hoseok’s eyes bulged out at the crime scene before him, switching between Yoongi, dejectedly kneeling on the floor and, and Jimin laying with the armrests of the chair still squeezing into his sides. 

“Sorry about the chair.” He blurts, unmoving from his spot on the carpet. 

There’s a brief moment of quiet. Before Hoseok, folds over, bursting out laughing. High pitched and cutting through the uncomfortable silence Yoongi and Jimin were drowning in. Hand having to hold onto the door frame to hold himself from falling. 

“Oh Yoonie…” His voice is 3 octaves higher and breathier, through barely contained laughter. “I leave for an hour… And this is what you get into-!” He can’t finish his point, interrupted by another fit of laughter. 

“Shut up!” Yoongi’s voice also sounds higher pitched, for all the opposite reasons. Outraged, whiny and embarrassed. 

“Enjoying yourself?” A teasing tone clings to his voice, and Hoseok has that distinctive shit-eating grin. The mocking in his words does nothing to soothe Jimin’s self consciousness about the older. 

“The opposite" Jimin snorts humorlessly. “You should see how he is looking at me, hyung.” He doesn’t mean for it to come out that bitter, and the eyeing he gives Yoongi doesn’t help. But it’s something that has been eating him up, and Yoongi should seriously be more subtle about his distaste for Jimin’s weight gain. 

“What do you mean?” The oldest’s eyes are suddenly fully on him. Making Jimin feel extremely exposed. The idea of backing down and brushing it on flashing through his mind. 

“You’ve been weird for weeks now!” The whine slips out of his mouth before he can even consider that alternative. “Ever since I got fat!” His chubby pointy finger points at Yoongi’s gobsmacked expression. 

“W-what?” Even Hoseok looks stunned. 

“I’m sorry if my weight gain, that you two encouraged, is ruining the mood for you! And whatever’s happening between us!” Jimin can’t help but snort, he is tired of the confusion. “But you could try and be, I don’t know, nicer about it!” Jimin is suddenly very aware of the fact that he is screaming. Suddenly shrinking a bit into himself and looking anywhere else; he finds a nice spot on the floor. “A-and help me up.” 

The silence is palpable, at least for the two seconds before a hollering laughter makes the walls shake. Hoseok nearly folding over himself and having to grip the door frame to avoid falling down. It’s shocking enough that even Yoongi and JImin share a puzzled look before looking at Hoseok.

“You told me– You told me you were going to tell him! Yah!” He manages to finish a sentence but it’s attached to a string of giggles. Jimin was startled enough to ponder if Hoseok was talking to him, but Yoongi beats him to it. 

“I–I was going to!” His eyes darted between the youngest and his boyfriend. “The time just wasn’t right.” Jimin’s own eyes are bulging outwards between the couple, huffing as he sits up from where he was laying on the floor. 

“Tell me what?!” 

There’s another beat of silence. 

“Yoongichi here, has a weight gain kink.” The mocking smile doesn’t leave his face. Jimin feels his heart stammer erratically. “And I was dumb enough to think he would’ve told you by now… With how much weight you put on and all.” 

He is at a loss of words, though Yoongi speaks before he can even begin to formulate words. “You’re making me sound like a creep! It’s not like that!” He speaks through a pout, looking at Jimin with desperation. Who can’t offer any comforting words back, jaw hanging limp in complete shock. 

“We— I didn’t plan on making you gain any weight.” He explains exasperated, suddenly not looking at anyone’s eyes. “You were just so spent with work and–and it just was my way of looking after you!” 

Jimin never would’ve considered… 

“I obviously uhm… noticed the gain. But I didn’t want to freak you out.” Yoongi does dare to look at Jimin in the eyes then, genuine and a little scared. “I may have taken it too far with my acting. And caused the opposite effect I wanted. I’m sorry.” His face scrunches up into a flinch the more he goes on, as if preparing for another one of Jimin’s explosive reactions. 

“I…” The youngest starts to speak, mainly because he can feel it’s his que to respond. But without the slightest clue what he should say. Seeing from the corner of his eye Hoseok stepped closer to where the pair was sitting on the floor. “You like it?” His eyes darted between the two of them, not able to help the hopeful tone of his voice; impossible to hide it after these old feelings resurfaced with full force. 

“I don’t have a kink for it, personally.” Hoseok’s hand finds Yoongi’s shoulder. “But I think you look beautiful, Jiminie.” The oldest is nodding eagerly. 

“I don’t like you just because of the weight either.” His face is serious but his nodding is desperate, as if still scared of giving the Jimin the wrong idea, whose heart is stammering out of his ribs. 

“I like the weight.” He sounds more sure than he has all night. Nodding softly as his eyes dart between the two. “I like getting to hang out with you again, and getting taken care of by you.” Once he starts he doesn’t think he can stop. “And I like that you two don’t look at me like I’m a kid anymore, and finally feeling like I have a chance.” He smiles a bit, Jimin knows he is risking it all, but he can’t bring himself to care when it feels so good to let go of all these emotions.

Hoseok kneels behind his boyfriend, at eye level with Yoongi. He is biting his lip with an endeared smile on his face. “Well… we have all changed since then.” 

“You’re not a tween anymore.” Yoongi jokes with a shit-eating smile that shows at least some ease on his part. 

“You are 2 years older than me.” The look on the oldest face eases him enough to retort back. “Only one year younger than Hobi hyung. You two just behave like senior citizens.” Hoseok breaks into giggles and Jimin feels quite accomplished about that. 

“It feels more drastic in highschool! You know that!” His melodic laughter fills the room. Jimin feels his own shoulders slump in proper relief. And he catches the older looking at Hoseok with lovesick eyes as his laughter calms down. “Babe… offer him dessert.” He whispers to Yoongi with an amused smile. 

“Oh!” He smiles a little embarrassed before turning his face back to Jimin. “Min-ah, do you think you have any more roo-” 

“Yes.” Jimin answers without giving Yoongi time to finish. “Help me up.”

 gif credits!1st gif : gainerbf on tumblr, October 3rd 2023

2nd-4th gif : overfedbutterball on tumblr, September 11th 2023

5th photo: fatbellygirl-piggy on tumblr, November 16th 2023

#BTS #bts feederism #namkook #taejin #sopemin #chubby jugnkook #fat jungkook #chubby taehyung #fat taehyung #chubby seven #fat jimin #stress eating #stuffing

[babymockers]

I was going through my drafts the other day when I found this, written in the peak of my Graham Coxon obsession, a couple of years ago. Since it's so long, I had to cut this story into two parts (I was very creative 🙄).

I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but enjoy!

"I can’t see what you see in me"

Graham Coxon x female reader.

Prompt: Graham was having a really hard time with himself during a photoshoot and you had a great idea to cheer him up. Heavily inspired by Blair and Serena stealing Eleanor Waldorf's clothing line clothes on Gossip Girl (s1, e4).

Place/time: during the late 90's.

Reader description: reader is a French model trying to make herself a name in the industry, while being reduced to be in her boyfriend's shadow.

Fluff.

Part 1.

Graham was alone.

He was sitting on his stupid chair, drinking tea from his stupid cup, feeling even more stupid than he did before.

Now, for the amateur eye, he didn't seem that much alone. He was surrounded by people: make up artists, stylists, cameras, all that stuff. But he was, in fact, alone. Alone and bored.

Also, it was a terribly cold winter and a storm was probably coming at any time while they were stuck there working outdoors in a park.

So he was falling asleep on his stupid chair. Again.

Suddenly, he heard an excited voice calling his name, a voice that he knew a little too well from the person that he loved the most.

"Graham!" you shouted and he quicky turned his body towards the direction of the sound, standing up. You ran onto his arms and hugged him tightly making him almost lost balance. Even though he was surprised, his arms reached out for your body instinctively.

Still in his arms, you took his face with your soft hands and placed a sweet kiss onto his lips, him melting at the touch.

Alex, sitting next to that romantic scene, looked at you with genuine curiosity, trying to make something of your face. Wondering if you two have met before.

The truth was: you haven't. It may have sounded strange considering that in the past couple of months, you had been omnipresent-like to the Blur guys. Your name was always there, filling not only the empty spaces of the rehearsals but filling Graham's mind completely. You were present whole-heartedly in Graham's dreamy smiles and little giggles that came out of nowhere and in every new song that came with a dumb look of im-so-in-love. Present in the purple-ish marks on Graham's neck or like a stolen kiss from his plumped lips. Present in Damon's laugh every time he made fun of his best friend's infatuation but secretely holding an enormous respect for you that made him feel almost rotten to jealousy. "He doesn't need me anymore. He's got Y/N now. She'll take care of him" Damon used to say. But he didn't meant it. Not really.

You were great, the best one Graham ever had. The other ones were either boring or pretentious cunts, in the singer's own words. But he couldn't help to feel overprotective towards his best friend and he would be lying if he said he didn't feel a bit jealous of the fact that Graham was so in love with you.

Damon loved attention. And Graham's attention was like crack because it was hard to make him interested in someone for real.

And the other times, you were there in body and soul, sitting in a corner taking pictures of whatever you founded interesting enough or simply hanging out.

So it was really weird for Alex to not have met you yet. Sure he heard the name, but Graham had been smart enough to make Alex and you not cross any paths. He knew Alex too well to trust him.

Dave chuckled and wolf-whistled, making Graham's cheeks turn red and he separated his lips from yours, unable to hide the big smile plastered on his face.

He never had anyone loving him like you do. So intense and passionate, so caring and gentle like a little child, rushing into his arms and calling his name for the whole town to hear it. Making him feel special, wanted. You could have anyone but, and here's the big but, you wanted him. And proudly so, as you always said.

"W-what are you doing here? I thought you weren't in England" He asked in confusion.

Your smile turned into a frown "And I thought you'd be happy to see me...”

"No, no. Please don't get me wrong. I'm just confused. I mean..." He started to panic.

You cut him off with a big smile "I'm joking, Gra. Turns out i don't have to work this couple of days because the collection got ruined by the rain and the photoshoot had to be rescheduled. The CEO was so angry, you should've seen him. He treated us very badly and that left me feeling sick to my stomach. So I remembered you were having a photoshoot here and I took the plane and well... I got an impulse. It's okay, right? I won't bother you. Just here for moral support" You said in a rush. "Oh, hi Dave". Dave waved his hand. Then you turned to Alex "I believe we haven't met yet. I'm Y/ N". You offered him your hand. "Alex, right? Heard lots of things about you".

He took your hand and gently placed a kiss on it "Good things I hope. So you're the famous Y/N". He turned to Dave but shot a quick look towards Graham, who was eyeing carefully at the exchange that was occurring in front of him, looking quite uneasy. "I must say I never expected that our little Graham was shagging such a pretty bird. Where are you from, Love? You've got a lovely accent". Graham tensed.

The awkwardness of the situation was only intensified by him pointing out your accent. You knew Alex didn't mean any harm, but that didn't sooth the rage in Graham's throat.

You've been officially named "Graham Coxon's New French Girlfriend" by the media and while you've told Graham so many times that it was a honor to be his girlfriend, he knew you were more than that stupid title. After all, you had a career of your own. You coincidentally met him at an event and now you've been living together in England for almost a year. But it just sort of happened. It wasn't your problem the media became obsessed with you.

And also you really wanted to get rid of the accent.

You opened your mouth to say something but before anything came out, Graham spoke in a condescending tone:

"She's french, Alex. You should know since you seem to get along so well with the french gals".

"Well... Alex begun.

"Where's Damon? I thought this was a group photoshoot" you interrumpted him trying to distract the tension away.

As if summoned, Damon appeared with a lopsided grin, always in his very own world. He kissed your cheek in a scandalous way and put his arm around Graham, although his best triend didn't even look at him. He was too busy shooting Alex with his gaze.

"Graham, it's fucking cold out here, put something on, mate. Jesus, you look like you're going to kill someone and I'm not in the "hiding a corpse" mood" Damon said completely oblivious to the fact that he was the one wearing only a suit and Graham was wearing a big jacket. Classic Damon. Then, he continued: "Well, the photographer, that bastard, just said he needed both of us, Alex, in front of the camera 'cause, I quote him: "Alex could make the suit work 'cause he's a good looking fella". I told him he could kiss my ass or my face, whatever. I quite fancy him. But not like I fancy you, Graham" He said battling his lashes, kissing Graham's temple. "You look sexy when you're angry. Love it".

Alex rolled his eyes, tired, and grinned at Graham

"Don't be mad at me, you twat. I was joking". Then he said to you: "Nice meeting ya, doll".

"Careful there, Alex. He's not playing around when Y/N is involved. Quite jealous he is" Damon laughed before the two of them started walking towards the photographer, who was already waiting for them. Damon rushed onto him, giving him a kiss on the cheeks.

You laughed at his childish behavior.

Dave patted Graham's shoulders and excused himself before making his way towards the improvised trailer the team managed to put together.

Graham lit up another cigarette letting the nicotine calm his burning insides and peered over the working crew to see Damon and Alex both wearing 1930's suits and posing as camera flashes exploded in their faces. He sat in a little bench, you by his side: "They look great. I didn't look as great as them".

You took his hand in yours. "You okay?"

"What is it like?" He said after a moment of silence, not looking at you but somehow giving you all his attention. "To be a model, you know. To have all of those people looking at you and telling you to make faces or something".

"Well, it's definitely not as fun as it may look. I used to think that it would be easy, that you only needed to be pretty and you'd be fine. But it's exhausting, actually". You smiled sadly "I often think l'd be better behind the cameras, being the one taking pictures”.

"You took some lovely pictures the other day..."

You smiled. "And how's it like being a rockstar?".

"Don't let Damon hear you say that. He says Blur's not a rock band. I say Blur's whatever the fuck Blur wants to be". He laughed humorless.

"And what does Blur want to be?" You asked.

"I'm not quite sure. Probably not a rock band".

You both laughed.

You moved your body closer to him. "And what does Graham wants to be?"

"I don't know. He certainly would prefer staying in bed cuddled up with you. Take me away from this big bad world and agree to marry me". He said while he leaned back on the bench, resting his head on your lap and putting your hand on his head, practically forcing you to stroke his hair.

You giggled "Mmm... You just made that up?" He nodded. “It sounded like a song". You said while he looked up at you with a sly smile. You leaned in and kissed his forehead as you started: "Alex..."

He interrupted you: "Alex is a bastard, you should know that. He's far up his arse and thinks he's got the right to do anything 'cause he's sexy or whatever. It doesn't sit right with me sometimes. Let's forget about him". You nodded.

A couple of minutes went by with none of you talking and you thought he was falling asleep. You loved watching him sleep. It was like all the darkness there inside of him left his body and he was finally at peace with himself. Then he broke the silence: "Do you find him a handsome bloke?"

You struggled, trying to find the right words "He's alright. Big egos aren't really my thing, though. I think you're way more handsome than him".

He frowned "You can't possibly think that. It doesn't take too much to see that Alex and Damon are more attractive than me. I'm awkward and too self conscious. They're the handsome ones. They could "sell the product". And I-I-I'm not, you see? I don't sell the product. I’d probably won't look half as great as them in those ridiculous 1930's suits. I don't sell what Blur wants to be. Fuck, I don't even sell myself. I'm just here...”

You took his hand in yours, leaving a kiss in it "I think you're all those things you said about them. You're there being yourself with all your flaws and strenghts. And I think that's beautiful about you. You don't need to sell the product because there's no product at all. You're Graham Coxon, not the guitarist or the guy from Blur. You're the person and you're the most attractive to me because you feel and you love in a way that none of them do". You looked at his eyes intensely. "And you also look quite sexy when you're jealous, Damon's right, I must say”. You added, trying to relieve the tension on his shoulders.

He gasped, pretending to be offended "I wasn't jealous".

"Sure you weren't" You said mockingly causing him to laugh.

Then he went silent again.

He sighed "I just can't see what you see in me".

You looked at him. The tenderness in his factions. His big brown eyes full of the melancholic feeling that consumed him daily.

You just knew he was more than enough. You knew since the first time you met him. He was incapable of holding your gaze yet somehow he managed to got you blushing all night. He didn't knew a single word of French yet you understood him so well. You communicated through your souls. Words were unnecessary.

Graham, so fragile and so broken. Yet, he put together the broken pieces of yourself, the ones left bruised. Now you were glowing, sparkling.

You wanted to do the same for him.

.

Part 2 here

#graham coxon #graham coxon x reader #blur band #damon albarn #alex james #dave rowntree #Graham Coxon au #Graham coxon x female reader #blur au #graham coxon fanfic