#im SO excited over this little thing. it shouldnt be a big deal. but my heart is so happy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beetljugo · 4 months

Note

Hello! I know it’s been a while but you are literally the only person I talk to about this character and I have another Keegan x my OC Isaac idea.

Idk if you remember but I sent a snippet a while ago talking about how Isaac and Hesh bonded over being big brothers who lost their younger brothers, and then afterwards Keegan and Isaac kinda make up and admit that they care about each other. Keegan tells Isaac that he sees him as a member of their little ragtag family and Isaac comes clean about his past

So after the events of the Ghosts campaign and my little snippet, everyone goes into “Find Logan Mode”. Isaac being a data analyst/encryption whatever the heck guy spend a lot of time doing digital work to find Logan. He hacks into Fed data systems, tracks suspicious finances and shipping routes that could have ANY possible connection to Logan or Rourke. But he also accompanied the team on missions still too, especially if it’s to facilities that he thinks have valuable intel.

However he starts to spiral and take on too much of a work load. Isaac always starts his day early at the gym they have on base, so it’s no surprise for the Ghosts to see him there in the morning and then at his computer for the rest of the day if there are no missions. The others start to wonder though when he starts skipping meal times of something is up with him. Keegan visits Isaac at his desk sometimes to check on him and always see wrappers for protein bars and empty water bottles and such.

It gets bad enough that Merrick AND Hesh both ask Keegan if he knows what is wrong with Isaac two separate times. Isaac keeps brushing everyone off saying he is fine, even when Keegan asks.

Keegan decides one evening to confront Isaac about it, waiting up until he hears Isaac come back from his desk to the barracks for the night. He waits one hour, then two, then three, next thing Keegan knows is he’s jolting awake only too lol at the clock that reads 5 am and Isaac still hadn’t returned, but suspiciously, his gym bag is gone.

Keegan goes to check the offices to find Isaacs desk empty. With a sour twist of his gut, Keegan goes to to check the gym.

Once he enters, Keegan can hear the sound of sneakers hitting rubber amd the whirring him of a treadmill. What concerns him though is the labored breathing that doesn’t come from a warm up run, but from utter exhaustion. Keegan zeroes in on Isaac just as the other man looses balance and falls forward, launching backwards as the treadmill sends him tumbling off.

Keegan rushes over and starts fussing over Isaac. He tries to help him up but Isaac is disoriented and can’t seem to stand up, barely registering that Keegan is there. Keegan worries that Isaac has a concussion but he didn’t see him hit his head on the fall. He tries to get Isaac to tell him what’s wrong but all that comes out are mumbled words that Keegan can’t make out.

Keegan decided he’s done waiting around and watching as Isaac deteriorates. He scoops Isaac up bridal style, concerningly without any protest or snide remarks from the other, and carries him down to medical.

Keegan WILL get answers from Isaac eventually, but right now he just wants him to be okay

(Kinda losing steam but let me know your thoughts if you have any lol)

OMG hey!! its good to hear from you again :) maybe i shouldnt be answering this when the ashwagandha i took is kickin me into sleepy time mode but i got excited after reading this LMAO

anyways, i love a good "please, just let me take care of you" scenario but like im so concerned for isaac becoming all consumed into his work :(

KEEGAN GET THAT BOY PATCHED UP AND INTO A BED HE NEEDS MIMIS AND A HOT MEAL

i just know when he gets that rest he needs theres gonna be a long conversation

"i know youre frustrated, we all are. but we need you alive. i-" hard emphasis on i "need you alive". typa deal

also that part when keegs jolts awake, i just imagine like the old man ass wake up. mid snore, and jolts like the world is ending for a split second LMAOOO

sorry i have like no actual thoughts to contribute but thanks for sharing your thoughts with me again! this is so fun :)

#oc talk w/ skidspace #cod fanfic #cod keegan #skidspace oc #cod x oc #mars's askbox! ☆彡

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oh-for-fic-sake · 3 years

Text

The Deal Part Three

Summary: august doesn't know how to lose.

Warnings: Adult Situations +18, Slight Smut, Mentioned Threesomes, M/M, M/F/M, poly relationship, Toys, Seduction, Dom Sub, BDSM, Praise Kink, Swearing.

August hummed running a finger back and forth on the rim of his glass as he watched the screen,you were on the bed rocking onto your new toy like crazy.

"She really does this everyday?" Clark asked from beside him with a frown, but august could see the kid was turned on, licking and biting his lip as you fucked yourself desperately with your new vibrator.

"Everyday, for a week now..." august hummed twisting his chair to and fro flicking his gaze from the subby on screen to the soon to be sub sat beside him.

"... am i? Am i not enough?" Clark asked tentatively blinking at agaust in a way that made the agent smile smugly.

"Its not that kid, shes gone without playing our game for soo long she forgot how addictive it is, how much she needs it" he explained.

"Needs? Have... i mean shes missed it?" Clark uttered feeling less confident in his ability to satisfy you by the second.

"Probably not, well not untill our little experiment"

"Why?" Clark asked still not understanding

"Being a sub is... more then just sex, subs need to submit its therapeutic for them... when in a scene they just let themselves go, all worry and stress disappear. All they need to do is live in the moment and obey" august began slowly as he stopped swaying his chair and faced clark head on pinning him with a look.

It was there, the curiosity. Good. Its what he hoped for, it was why he'd called clark there to 'catch up'

It was time to make his move, top the man of steel whilst having you making your own little porno in the background to help things along.

"So she cant truly relax without it?" Clark muttered still unaware of the agents motives.

"In a sense yes. She craves being dominated, its as natural to her as being a goody two shoes is for you" august purred placing his drink on the glass computer table fendingnoff a smirk as clark took the bait.

"Hey! Im not a goody two shoes-" the kryptonian grunted offended.

But august was prepared, he'd planned this meeting meticulously and his anwser rolled off his tongue with a laugh.

"Your thirty five years old and have absolutly no run ins with the law, no parking fines no speeding tickets hell you never even had a single detention in your entire shcool life! Or have you handed in an assignment or book report in late"

"But i killed a man- i took a life" clark tried to argue but was waed off with another laugh.

"Zod was no man, he was a fucking alien... no offence, you took a life to save billions... so its not really making you a badass"

"Lazer vision is pretty badass..." clark huffed slumping back in his seat now looking like a classic putig brat.

"Oh? Is my litttle clark sulking?" August cooed gravely voice making clark pause at the sultry tone... he must be hearing things.

"Im not sulking! And im not your anything!" Clark growled snapping at the agent.

"Behave yourself!" August growled leveling him with a look, and couldnt help smirk again as clark shut himself up and flushed.

Your desperate cries called out over the moniter as you rutting onto the toy the wet sounds adding to the scene.

Clark flushed finalky turning away from august making the agent preen. Oh he had him in the palm of his hand already~

"Good boy. You are arent you? A very good boy clark- the best" august purred leaning forward gazing at the younger man with a cheshire grin, that only grew wider as clark flushed brighter and shuddered.

"I.. err well yes" clark panted shiftingnin his seat tryingmto keep his eyes on the screen as you wailed and yelped trying to draw out a climax.

"Oh whats this? Your going all shy on me? Tell me is it because i called you a good boy~ do you like praise clark?" Augusut grinned leaning closer still to the now frozen younger male

"N-no its err... i should go-" clark started shuffljng backwards needing to get out of here, because it was true. He loved praise especially in the bedroom, he loved being told how good he was.

August purringnat him whilst he eyes were fixed on you rollingnaroundnin bed toying yourslef into a sexual frenzie was... making him think of thingsnhe probably shouldnt.

"No. Sit, stay... thats it, theres nothing to be embarrassed about, many powerful men enjoy being praised" August growled latching onto clarks arms holding them to the arms of the seat.

"Being taken care of, told what to do~" august purred standing befor the mighty man of steel leaning close to his face.

Clark gulped but didnt move back, he didnt pull away like he should have.

Instead he eyed augusts lips, clark had the overwhelming urge to.aste them.

It confused him, he'd never ever dabbled in same sex relationships, never experimented. Never shared a woman with another before that fatefull night.

But for some reason august was apealing, drawing clark in. August was apble to overpower him, not physically but he commanded obedience.

August held a dangerous cocksure demeanor that clark rarely saw.

"Is that what you want? Clark~ do you want to be controlled and praised just once? More then once?" August hummed dippjng closer and closer, clark couldnt help tipp his head up.

"Y/n is always such a brat. Just look at her, desperately trying to fuck herself into a coma, despite knowing we hadnt allowed her to touch her pussy" august pulled the pffice chair clark was sat in to closer to him, making the kryptonian drown in his scent, the cologne and sweet arousal that was alreading sworling arohnd him.

Clark swallowed dryly, unsure what was happeningnto him, the sounds of yu moaning a crying ot so sweetly, the praise and authority radiating off august in waves.

It was the same dominant aura and comanding deep voice that had made crks cock twitch in both threesomes they had indulged.

Clark had tried denying it at the time, convincing himslef he was cuaght up in the erotic forbidden act. It was just a thrill of the moment thing. It didnt bmean he wanted the older dominating alpha male and all his bravado.

August grinned shifting forward again filling clarks vision, for a human auguast was large, almost as large as he was.

"Sure she'll listen when she feels like it but... I can't help thinking she needs a role model..." clark hummed absentmidely nodding agreeing falling further into his own haze.

"Someone else to show her how she should behave... someone who will get rewarded for being soo good... maybe a good boy?" August purred finally taking the plunge and weaving jis way around the man. His words coiling around the younger male ensnareing him in his carefully constructed web of teasing words.

Clakr gasped as his chin was captured by the agent forcing him to look him in the eye.

"Would you like that clark? Do you want to be not just a good boy, but my good boy-our good boy?" The words hung in the air, winding the man of steel.

"W-what?" He stuttered tryingnto fathom what the older man meant. But couldnt deny the excitment in his gut.

Did he mean it? Would he really include clark in this kink? Make it official and let these forbidden threesomes continue?

"Oh dont play coy, i know what your thinking~ its natural to be curious, just think we could all be one~" august whispered movjng his thumb over clarks bottom lip.

"We could all play together and all get what we need." He purred smirking as clark gave all the right signs, eyes wide, pupils blown wide shifting in his seat as he cock rose, curtesy of both his praise and the loud wanton moans from you bringing yourslef to the edge of rapture yet again.

"You get the praise and love of a little brat, and a strict dom, y/n gets a role model, a dom and keeps her life partner" august listed shifting on his feet again reeling clark in with low coos full of promise.

The agent curled his hand, cupping clarks cheek coaxing him closer luring his face closer.

"A-And you?" Clark dared to utter, feeling both excited, anxious and overwhelmed, he wanted nothing but to jump at the chance, but was frightened at the same time.

He would admit he'd been a little jealous of all the praise you'd got from august in both encounters.

Closingnhis eyes imagining it was him! That the older influential man had been calljng him a good boy, had been teling him how impressed he was, how proud he was!

Clark was embarrassed and had quickly shook away the desperate thoughts. He wasnt gay, why would he have such thoughts?

He summarised he was just too needy and had gone without. You told him how brilliant and big he was, how sexy and strong and fantastic he is in the bedroom but... with august it was different.

The older male praised down at him! Cooing and fussing at him in a different way. Treated him like a sub and clark liked it. Probably too mucn.

"I get the little brat i've been missing and a very very good boy"

"So what do you say, do you want to let go? Be free and experience things you'd only dreamt of?" August preened keeping clarks attention fixed on him asmhe manipulated him, august had noticed clark had a praise kink.

A weakness. A need who was august to pass up useing the little kink to get the subby he wanted~

"I...I'm..." clark hesitated looking passed august to you on the screen who was digging around beside your bed looking for something.

"All you have to do is say the words clark, just say yes sir and you can have all the pleasure and praise you could ever hope for~ both you and y/n we could make this permanent"

"See look? Just watch, y/n needs her dom, needs to be tamed again we could do it clark... you can show her how to be good again~" august breathed over clarks cheek side steppjng him to reveal the screen.

And clark did look, groaning as he saw that you had rolled over and was straddling a different suction cup dildo stuck to a little hand mirror face up on the bed slapping your own ass as you bounced frantically.

"Just say those words and we can help her together" august hummed into his ear like the devil on his shoulder, tempting him

Clark gasped feeling augusts breath on his neck, his wisters ghosting the delicat skin.

Then in a bold move the older man pressed a soft feather light kiss to the kryptonian's neck.

And it worked

"I... y-yes, can we? Please sir" clark breathed out stuttering and jumbling his words unable to hold back his pleading.

"Good boy clark~ such a good seet boy you are~ i knew it, knew youd be brave enough, you've made me soo proud" august showered him with praise biting off a victorious grin.

Clark mewled closingnhis eyes for a second beaming a smile feeling this strange relaxation take over, suddenly he felt free, and small.

It was a feeling he craved, being the strongest all the time was a heavy burden to bare, now he could feel powerless for once.

August chuckled and pressed another kiss to clark this time on his cheek making the younger male's cheeks glow.

August couldnt get enough, the power trip of having the man of steel under his command was far to intoxicating.

"Now why dont you go get our little brat and we can tie her up and show her that good subby's get rewards" august prompted him stepping around clark completely letti g himstand up.

Clark nodded and shot off out onto the balcony and leapt into the sky eagwr to please his new dom and do as he was told.

August took his seat agin wrappjng his fingers around his glass of scotch and raised the glass to the screen that now had both his subs onscreen, as clark wrangled you into his arms wrapping the bedsheet arohnd you.

"Mission accomplished" he hummed smirking as clark wrapped you in your soiled bedsheet before you both disappeared off screen.

He stood and knocked back the last of his drink and padded across the pent house heading to the play room just as he heard both of hos little subs land and enter his home.

#henry cavill #clark kent x you #clark kent x August Walker #august walker #clark kent #august walker x you #august walker x y/n #clark kent x y/n #august walker x clark kent x y/n #oh for fic sake headcannon

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kaz11283 · 3 years

Note

I really like the prompt list you reblogged it’s got some good stuff. What about 37. “Because I love you god damn it!” with Loki if you are still needing inspiration.

37) Because I Love You God Damn It!

~~~~

The Secret Is Out

Characters: the Avengers Bunch, Loki, Thor, Clint

Warnings: Dirty words, slight angst

Summary: after putting your life in the line for a teammate you accidentally let a big secret slip.

Announcements: I will always need insperation and requests! They feed my soul! Haha. I'm not gonna lie. Im skipping back and forth on my requests though. I have a really good story line for one but its just so emotional(thats were Im hoping it goes at least) that I didnt want to write it tonight and put my self in a mood. So instead I guess im goimg with a form of anger? Meh. Anyways... I absolutly love love love everything from you guys! The reblogs, likes, and comments are amazing and I am very greatful for all the love I am getting!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~

The fight had been rough but not as rough as you were feeling in the moment. You had gotten serverly hurt and had been in the medbay for about a week now and you had a longer road ahead. There had been an explosion and instead of turning to run away you had ran toward one of your team members that had been to distracted to realize what was going on, you had successfully gotten him shoved out of the way but you had taken the brunt of the blast.

Now you were laying here staring at the celing trying to stay distracted as Bruce and Tony looked at your completely shaddered knee and the burns up your leg. Fingers crossed that they would have good news soon.

"Well as of right now kid your out of commission." Tony said helping you sit back up.

"Meaning?" You pulled one of the pillows down so that you could sit up without being uncomfortable.

"Meaning right now, the way it all looks, your gonna be stuck in the bed until it fully heals and after wards theres really no way to tell if your going to be able to work in the field again." Burce said looking at the xrays again. "And your gonna have to have surgery in order to put all the right pieces back in the right places, but we cant really do that until some of the burns heal or at least start to heal. Its gonna be a long drawn out process unfortunately." He sighed setting the charts back down and walking over to you.

"Fucking hell! You mean I'm gonna be pushing paper work? I might as well go work in a damn office with four white walls and a poster that says 'hang in there, its almost Friday'." You placed your head in your hands.

"Hey! At least our paper work is more exciting than just running numbers." Tony said placing a hand on your back. He had been like a fsther to you, taking you in when you didnt have anywhere else to turn except the streets. Your own family had abandoned you at a young age and you had been leaning toward a dark path until Tony. "Besides with your expertise you dont have to sit behind a desk, your fingers arent blown off, you can still hack into stuff I'm sure."

"Tony we had a deal when I moved in. No hacking but you would train me and I could actually do good. Now look at me."

"I said no hacking the good guys, and if I remember correctly you were the one jumping close to the bomb not away from. I hate to be this way y/n but the only one to blame is yourself on this one."

"He would have been worst off than I am if not killed. I think I did the right thing. Besides you would have done the same thing if you had been closer." You sighed.

"Honey the diffrence with that is I have a supersuit, you wear a skin tight, spandex one peice, that I'm not a fan of." He laughted. Bruce had went to go get you some more pain killers to shoot into your IV.

"Tony if I were you I would shut up. Your starting to sound like you might actually love me, might even say your starting to act like a dad." You laughed pulling him into a hug.

"Shut it kid, cant let the others know I have a soft spot for the hacker orphan kid i took in all those years ago now can I." He said kissing the top of your head. "Do you need anything else before the drugs kick in and you pass out again?"

"Yes, can you please bring me my phone charger, laptop, and that really fluffy blanket that you and Pep got for me for Christmas."

"Dont ask to much of me now."

"I wouldnt be asking if you would just let me stay in my room. I hate it down here. I wanna be were the people are." You were starting to get loopy from whatever Bruce had given you.

"Ok little mermaid, get some rest I'll get your stuff." He laughed walking out the door letting you fall into a restless sleep.

You didnt know how long you hade been asleep but you woke up with a groan trying to sit up so you could atleast stretch your back from laying in one spot for to long. You flopped back down dramatically with a sigh. You could sense someine else in the room with you, you always knew when he was around.

"You dont have to hide in the shadows Loki. Your more than welcome to keep me company, you should know that by now." You smiled as the prince walked over and sat in the chair beside you. You could tell he hadnt been sleeping, his hair was fixed as always but his clothes looked worst for wear. He had on a plain black shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants, both of with had wrinkles in them either from tossing and turning or from not being changed in a few days.

"Whats wrong? And dont pull that 'nothing is wrong dear. I'm absolutly fine.' Bullshit. You look horrible." You reatched out to grab his hand. What you and Loki had was diffrent. You didnt just see his as a friend, he didnt just see you as that either though. You had spent many nights sitting up with the silver tounge man many nights laying on the couch watching movies, reading, talking about each of your pasts. He knew more about you than even Tony did.

"I'm still currently trying to wrap my head around why you pushed me out of the way and took the blow when you had a chance of dying from it. You shouldnt have been so thick headed my dear." He took your hand and raised it to his lips kissing the top of your hand.

"Loki." You sighed rolling your head to look back up at the celing. "You would have been hurt alot wordt than I am now, that blast could have killed you."

"I am a god y/n, that blast wouldnt have caused me nearly as much damage as it did you." His voice raised slightly.

"Thats what you think. You think that because you are "immortal" that you can take anything thats thrown at you. That no one really cares about you, that you wouldnt be missed? So why not try to take a blow from a bomb? My god your so stupid sometimes."

"I know I can. Norns y/n I've jumped into space, been brain washed, tried to take over New York, gotten smashed around by the Hulk. I was raised with Thor, he doesnt really go easy on a person. What I'm saying is I dont understand why you, a mear midguardian, would sacrifice themselves for me. If anything would have happened-"

"Nothing did happen though. I'm fine-"

"You have steel sticking from your leg, theres no telling when or even if you'll be able to walk again, and there are highly server burns that will leave scares. You cannot sit there and tell me that you are fine."

"Your right it does suck that I'm jot gonna be able to pull off shorts or a bikini anymore."

"This isnt a joke y/n. You almost died!" He finally yelled.

"And i would do it a thousand times over if that ment saving your damn ass again!" You shouted back.

"Why though?! Why me y/n? I've done horrible things, killed people! My life is meaningless." Tears had sprang to his eyes as he looked away.

"Because I love you God damn it!" You stopped suddenly your jaw dropping at the admission that you hadnt ment for him to hear. His head jerked back to you.

"What?" Shock was all over his face as he stood to walk closer to you. "What did you just say?"

"Because I love you Loki Odinson. Because if you were to die I dont think I would be able to go on living. Because even if you see all the bad things that you've done I can look pass that amd see all the good that you are doing." You reached up placing a hand on his cheek and wiping away a tear.

"I love you too y/n. I have since the day I met you. The girl that didnt care what anyone said when she spent time with me. The girl that can see through every face i put on. I love you so much darling." He placed his hand on your face and leaning down gently kissing your lips.

It felt like you thought it always should you felt electricity run through your body and the two of you connected. It was like getting a breath after not being able to for so long. He pulled away smiling at you.

"What do we tell the others?" He asked laying on with bed with you being easy with your leg. He placed his arm around your middle and pulled you as close as he could.

"I honestly dont care what we tell them. They can figure it out themseves for all I care." You smiled lacing your fingers with his, you yawned placing your head on his shoulder closing your eyes.

"Sleep now my Dove, I will be here when you wake." He felt your gentle breath slow as you fell asleep, the rhythm you of your breath lulling him into his own sleep.

Tony and Bruce walked in the next morning stopping dead at the sight in front of them. You and Loki were still cuddled on the small bed sleeping peacefully.

"Should we wake them up?" Bruce asked looking at Tony.

"Na, let them sleep. Dont want to let them know that we know." Tony saod grabbing Bruce's arm and turning to walk back out of the door.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #loki avengers #loki daily #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki x reader #loki fluff #loki request #loki masterlist #loki x you #lokilaufeyson #loki one shot #loki x y/n #loki friggason

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officalaizawa003 · 2 years

Text

How philza found technoblade (dsmp au) Part 2

Phil was sewing Techno new cloths. They were the same style as his old ones but with better material. As he was sewing he saw Techno slowly walk up to him. Techno tapped him softly and Phil sat up and stopped what he was doing. Without only a few hours of being here, he was already getting used to phil.

Techno: U-uh...Mister? I-im very hungry...

Phil: Whens the last time you ate, m8?

Techno: 2 weeks, sir..

Phil: 2 weeks?!

Phil stood up very quickly and headed into his kitchen. He started getting out eggs, milk and other things. Techno watched from a far as Phil scrambled and rushed around the kitchen. In less then an hour, Phil had finished.

Phil: Technoblade can you go sit at the table? Dont worry about my sewing stuff, I'll move it.

Techno nodded and walked to the table. Phil moved his sewing gear then sat down the food. He had made a fresh, warm loaf of bread, a flavorful and healthy pot of chicken soup, and a vanilla, frosted cake. He set the food down around the table and smiled as he watched Techno's eyes light up. Techno sniffed the air, It all smells so good! He just wanted to dig into everything but he still didnt trust phil all the way. He looked at phil, who placed a clean plate and bowl down in front of him.

Phil: What are you waiting for mate?

Techno: H-how do I know you didnt do anything to the food?

Phil: Well you watched me make it! Come on, try some! I wouldnt bring you into my home, make and wash your clothes, and make you all this food just to posion you!

Techno thought. He was right. This guy was a pretty big guy. He could have killed him the moment he found him. Phil poured some soup into techno's bowl and set it down in front of him again. Phil did the same for himself then started praying. Techno copied him, mumbling nonsense since he couldnt hear what or who he was praying to. Phil lifted his head and laughed at how adorable Techno was.

Phil: Awh mate! Were you copying me?

Techno: Haha..y-yeah.

Phil: Thats adorable! Anyways, go ahead and try some!

Phil used his spoon and took a sip of his soup.

Techno lifted his spoon and dipped it into the soup. He only got a little bit on his spoon. He brought it to his lips, closed his eyes, and shoved the spoon into his mouth. Techno's eyes widened and lit up again as he sighed with delight. Techno abandoned the spoon and started drinking from the bowl. He was done within seconds but he wanted more. Phil chuckled at his excitement and poured him some more soup along with a slice of bread and cake. Techno drank the soup quickly and slowly took a bite of the bread. Repeating this with the cake, all his food was gone in only a few minutes.

Phil: Dont drink too quick! Haha! You enjoying yourself over there, Technoblade?

Technoblade: Yes sir! This is the best meal I ever had! Thank you, Mister!

Phil: Your welcome-

Just then Phil and Techno heard a door open. Wilbur came through the door and ran to Phil. Mumza walked through with a smile. Techno sat quietly, scared of the new faces.

Phil: There's my boy! Haha! Did you have fun with Mumza?

Wilbur: Yeah! Mumza took me flying! But then it got cold. So we came back!

Phil stood up and gave Mumza a kiss on the check.

Techno stared at the woman. She was taller then the man who took him in. Her hat and veil was blocking her face from his view.

Wilbur: And who are you?

Technoblade: AHH!

Techno fell off of his chair after being scared by wilbur, who appeared out of no where. When he fell, he scooted backwards, now in view of Phil and the woman.

Phil: Oh geez! Wilbur what did we say about personal space.

Wilbur: Oh sorry!

Phil: Uh, well this is awkard! I found him hiding by some bushes while collecting some fire wood for the winter. He was bloody and had some wounds so I cleaned him up. *Turns to mumza* Its only for the winter. I promise if he causes any trouble, I'll deal with it, okay?

Techno's heart sank. Only for the winter? So they were gonna toss him out like a piece of trash after winter ended? He sighed, He shouldnt have gotten too comfortable.

???: Hold on, Phil. Let me look at him.

The tall woman walked were Techno was cowaring. She held out her hand. Techno whimpered. So many new faces...Techno grabbed her hand and she picked him up. As techno stood he could sorta see her face better. The veil was still covering it. She moved her veil and looked him in the eye with the warmest smile he had ever seen.

Mumza: Hello, Techno. I know you must be very afraid right now but I promise no one here will hurt you.

Techno nodded, sorta like in a trance, " H-how did you know my name..?"

"I know everyone's name. I am the goddess of death. But you can call me Kristen"

"...your really pretty..."

Kristen laughed, " Thank you. Now why dont you go finish up your dinner so we can show you your room.

Techno nodded and once she let go of his hand he felt like his soul had been taken out of his body and placed back in. Techno sat back down and Phil, Kristen, and Wilbur sat at the table. Wilbur looked at Techno and stuck out his hand.

Wilbur: Hi my name is Wilbur Soot Minecraft or Wilbur Minecraft Soot. I keep forgetting! Whats your name!

Techno shook his hand and said, "My name is Technoblade.."

Wilbur: Thats so cool! Your new nickname could be, 'The Blade'! Do you know how to sword fight?

Techno: Yeah a little.

Wilbur: See? Your name matches you!

Phil: Wilbur, let him eat. He hasnt eaten anything in 2 weeks.

Wilbur: Sorry dad!

The family and techno ate peacefully and when Techno was finally full he got up. Phil lead him to his room and gave him Wilbur's old pj's. Techno's room for the time being was in the Attic but it felt cozy. Techno changed and laied down. He felt like this would be the start of something wonderful.

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mousehole5000 · 3 years

Text

tgcf chapters 107 - 120 this is one where i give some Opinions. i do overall like hualian a lot but i have some quibbles

wait why am i still taking screenshots? i can copy/paste again afskldfjasad

It really was hard to tell whether people would feel happy after watching such performances. However, in truth, slaughter and the sight of blood did create excitement in people. Whether or not there was fear, after the initial shock was over, a rush of adrenaline would be produced in the heart- me watching horror movies

“Shi Qingxuan said. “Then, Your Highness, Crimson Rain Sought Flower! I order you to—to immediately strip each other’s clothing!” - djslkadjlsd WHY DID HE SPECIFICALLY SAY THEY HAD TO STRIP EACH OTHER THISALSKDJ is this a normal thing is it a wingman attempt what is happening

“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything. That’s the worst suffering in the world.” ... “Ming Yi asked, “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”- when truth or dare gets a bit too real

On the side, Hua Cheng was still only observing, and was already bored to the point where he’d changed back into his red robes. Then he changed to black robes again. Then to white robes. Almost every time Xie Lian looked back, he would be donning a different appearance, and with every new look there were different hairstyles, and different accessories, and different boots, and so on; sometimes playful, sometimes elegant, sometimes deadly, sometimes glamourous. Xie Lian was growing dizzy from all the colours and kept looking back, unable to look away. - THIS ISNT THE TIME HUA CHENG. YOURE PRIMPING. THE WINDMASTER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND YOURE PRIMPING

obsessed with xie lian not being able to figure out to use the windmaster’s fan and just. using it to SMACK

also windmaster??? whats going on??? :( i know some things from spoilers like who is not to be trusted but i really have no clue whats happening rn

anyways back to puqi shrine lets check on those kids also can we PLEASE get some funds for this restoration smh. hua cheng and xie lian doing mundane hard labor together to fulfill prayers.... :pleading:

jailbreak in the heavens 2: dig a tunnel

Sure enough, the moment Ming Yi put pressure on his shovel, a hole opened up before them. With the shovel raised, he burrowed crazily ahead while Shi Qingxuan, in the middle, cheered him on crazily. As the only non-crazy person, Xie Lian brought up the rear. That treasured shovel of the Earth Master was indeed magical, and with only a few strokes, a new tunnel of over ten meters was dug. - anybody remember mulch diggums from the artemis fowl series? this is much more dignified than that but i think this is only the second time ive read a character just starting digging a tunnel as a plot point

okay so much is going on i wish i hadnt spoiled who certain characters actually are for myself but i have no one to blame but me for a) not blacklisting spoilers at all and b) just having a little freefall through the tags. oh well. anyway heavenly college admissions scandal except way worse. the corruption extends to the heavens and the windmaster is having a very bad day

i guess we’re having a high seas adventure now?

im gonna keep it real im getting tired of how often we get told how handsome hua cheng is. i know its all xie lian’s pov and while im not terribly familiar with it i know what genre we’re working with and im assuming thats pretty typical. its something i dont much care for in general and idk maybe it sounds better in the original but ngl its starting to make me roll my eyes. love you goth king but god okay we get it.

i guess what i will say about hualian so far is that overall i like them and i like how they interact in general they have a lot of nice moments and they just genuinely seem to like each other which is really nice to see EXCEPT for when it actually comes to things that could be romantic or sexual which is a shame bc i dont think it has to be like this. again disclaimer that im only reading a translation and dont know everything might not have all the knowledge necessary to accurately criticize etc etc and im assuming a lot of this is expected from the genre (disclaimer to this disclaimer that i cant say that for sure its just based on things ive picked up about the bl genre over the years) but idk like xie lian was so distressed after their underwater kiss scene. it was kind of uncomfortable to read and maybe im being unfair i know his cultivation is based around abstinence or whatever but idk i dont care for it. and that scene alone doesnt have to be a bad thing like idk i guess its his first kiss ever (?) and it would make sense if he feels weird about it but i just have my doubts thats going to be addressed or resolved in a satisfying way. also im like. dude everyone is like centuries old. xie lian’s been on earth for 800 years. has he really never met or heard of a gay person during all this time? maybe he hasnt idk what he got up to yet maybe that’s actually a thing. also same thing with the reactions from the immortals to xie lian in a dress and characters like the windmaster like again you’re all centuries old and its not uncommon to be able to just completely change gender presentation. why are you all weird about a man wearing a woman’s dress? i just feel like that shouldnt be a big deal to these characters idk

also again not going to lie part of this that im not really a big fan of reading romance in general. yes i am reading this book. yes i do read and write a lot of fanfic that includes or centers romance. im multifaceted. but really what im talking about is the like physical side of it and descriptions im extremely picky about it. ill give an example. early on in the torture pit (or whatever it was called i cant remember lol) when xie lian kind of accidentally felt up hua cheng in the dark when he was being carried. i dont think thats a bad thing to have happen between the two romantic leads i think thats fine and good to include that early but i just did not enjoy reading it when it happened idk maybe it was the wording and i do think that moments like these work better in a visual medium. ive definitely read het romance that reads like this and i wasnt a fan of that either lol same with fanfic i get tired when writers go on and on about how hot one characters finds another character. this isnt a huge criticism of it like i said im picky but again like with the way that hua cheng is described it just makes me roll my eyes sorry kings

okay back to the reading. this whole saving the fishermen thing feels like a big set up for something narrative-wise. hua cheng specifically insisted on coming and i know one of the characters involved ends up dying im wondering if thats now it would be a good time tbh if things get just a bit too unfortunate during this heavenly calamity... and the brothers are notably not having a harmonious time... also tho it feels very likely we’ll just have another Hualian Moment (tm)

In such a situation, Pei Ming still acted the same. In the evening, when they rescued a few fishermen girls, so scared their eyes were blurry from tears, he held them in his embrace and soothed them with a gentle voice; a true show of honeyed romance, affectionate and charming. - pei ming please get pickled again.

also its funny that hua cheng is just kinda hanging out and everyone else just has to deal with it

Looking down from above, the entire area was painted in a terrifying black. It was easy to see the collision between the two different-coloured currents. Their fierce battle was what formed this enormous whirlpool. As the eye swallowed the ship whole, the two currents of water separated. However, the battle was far from over. Like two venomous vipers, they continued to snap at each other. Each collision was followed by a mountain of angry waves. - this pretty dope ngl. also love our wind and earth masters just chilling on a shovel i dig it. hehe

Yet, other than discovering Hua Cheng had a fine body, there were no other finds. Xie Lian was at his wit’s end and started to worry. - okay see this one’s funny im just also irritated bc im like WE KNOW!!! WE GET IT HE’S HOT AND XIE LIAN THINKS HE’S HOT OKAY GOT IT

okay kiss #2 again its not the kisses themselves its xie lian’s reaction it just bothers me idk im not saying i need him to be super into it and completely unconflicted about it rn but he’s just so freaked out about it and idk i just dont really like it just feels weird i dont care for that aspect of it. also dude hua cheng is a ghost and he did this exact same thing for you before just chill. i wish instead of xie lian literally running away while screaming that hes sorry he was just like “oh haha youre fine thats cool im gonna go look around the woods i dont feel weird about this at all haha” like idk its kind of funny but when its literally our two romantic leads i just feel like its confusing like it kind of makes me feel like they shouldnt be together if one of them freaks out this much again considering the fact that they are both CENTURIES old. i know i know xie lian is an 800 year old virgin but. he hasn’t been like this about anything else so yeah idk like it still could have been awkward and funny i just dont think it needed to be so :/ that being said it was funny that xie lian was then internally like “oh i did it wrong? perhaps i should ask him for more.. instructions....” if that actually happens i might like it bc it would complete this little watery theme

Before he finished, he immediately remembered. Coffin wood. There were trees here everywhere; and a deceased? There was one right before his eyes. Sure enough, Hua Cheng smiled. “Won’t it be fine once I lie inside? - love that hua cheng just sat on the fact that he can turn anything into a coffin. that would have been really useful information earlier but no he just waited until everyone but xie lian was gone afjaklsdjf

also i do think that oblivious xie lian thinking “wow whoever it is that hua cheng fancies is an idiot for not liking him back theyre totally taking him for granted :/” is kind of funny and sweet. actually the whole conversation they have at the campfire is good and im bookmarking it to think about later

“...You on top and me on the bottom,” Xie Lian replied. “Isn’t top and bottom the same?” Hua Cheng asked. - okay im sorry but. mood whenever theres discourse about top/bottom dynamics for a ship im just like jesus christ i dont care. tbh i rarely read fanfiction if its just sexual and ngl if i see a fic specifically tag characters as top or bottom i wont read it lmfao. especially when people have really strong opinions about this stuff when theres nothing canonical to back it up like headcanon all you want but whenever i see people argue about it im just like no offense but go work out your own sexual issues and dynamics instead of arguing with strangers on the internet about who’s a top and who’s a bottom. sorry to be mean but just thats how i feel lol

this was mostly a ramble with a few excerpts but im getting sleepy im going to TRY to take a break from this for like a day but we’ll see how that goes i do very much want to know what happens. anyway if you read this whole thing hiiiiii sorry for subjecting you to my opinions on top/bottom discourse

#minors dni #reading this is weird its like wow this is pretty great actually im having a blast #and then there's these moments that are like...... hmmmm.#idk they havent been awful i just think theyre :/#still funny tho ill give it that #tgcf liveblog

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wongiemei · 5 years

Text

iKON Relationship with New Girl Member

Jinhwan:

Basically, her dad

Takes care of her the most dealing with her problems

He’s the oldest and he is used to dealing with the boys’ shit so he can handle hers too

But sometimes, it can be overwhelming

The girl member would listen to him like he would for her

Whenever she gets in trouble, he would always defend her (which annoys Bin a lot)

When she’s in that *cough* time *cough*, she would be the most comfortable with him

Jinhwan wouldn’t hesitate but go to the store 2 streets down and buy her chocolate, medicine, heating packs, chips, and tampons/pads

out of all the boys, she would trust him the most

if she needs something, she would go to him first

jinhwan loves to brag about that to the boys

he also loves the fact that someone is finally shorter than him

the boys still call him short but the girl defends him saying he’s taller than her

if anything, they should call her short

the first time it happened, jinhwan almost cried bc finally someone stood up for him

whenever he’s upset or hurt by what the others said, he hides it but she can usually tell

the only one he speaks his problems to

she experiments with makeup on him since he’s the only one who lets her

ngl, she’s actually pretty good

‘i didn’t spend 2 all-nighters watching jeffree star and james charles for nothing’

but as long as he sees that bright smile, he’s happy

i think he would be the im-never-letting-you-go type with her because he sees her as the girl he saw for the very first time

shy and innocent

and he will be damned if someone corrupts her

Yunhyeong:

if Jinhwan is her dad, he’s her mom

makes sure she does laundry, gets up early, goes to bed on time, showers before the boys

will feed and cook for the girl even when he’s tired

thinks shes the cutest little thing

but he knows that if he finds chanwoo and her are talking amongst themselves, shes gone

gets pranked on the most

the boys would use the girl to take advantage of his kindness to her for a prank

then the girl would be guilty later on and secretly tell song what theyre planning

believe it or not, yunghyeong is pretty scary when he’s mad

so she rats the others out bc she knows he wont punish her and she could watch the boys suffer

its like killing 2 birds with one stone

but really, she appreciates him

without him, she would be stuck eating delivery and ramen every night

since she rooms with him, chanwoo, and hanbin, hes always cooking something

ikonics see her a lot in his vlives and YT channel

when he went to the jungle, she was very worried

‘hyung, you’re going to get sick there! who’s going to feed me when you’re gone? you know Bin can’t cook for shit!’

‘yah! do you only see me as your chef?!’

‘what do you mean i can’t cook?!’

he looks out for her a lot

during ikontv, she was the only one excited for the mungap trip

out of all the boys, she appreciates him the most

okay, maybe she appreciates him and jinhwan the most

but, he was the one who made her feel welcome and tried the most to help her fit in and make sure she was comfortable

will never forget when he left her a tray of food at her door when she refused to leave her new room

there was a post-it note with encouraging words and she still has it to this day

just a wholesome mother-daughter relationship that will never be broken

Bobby:

oh, my baby

as i mentioned in the earlier post, he wasn’t very upset but he wasnt happy

but he wasnt upset enough to make her feel uncomfortable

bc jiwon is such a baby and so nice that he subtly helps her

over time, they build a cute relationship where he is like her older brother

steals her food all the time

‘no! song-hyung cooked that for me! Only for me!’

‘yah! it’s rude not to share with your elders!’

‘*mumbling* wdym elder. you’re practically a 5 year old’

jiwon has no mean bone in his body and you were practically an angel to him

well, when you’re not fooling around or goofing off

although he thought you wouldnt survive in iKON, he tries to help you as much as he can

even though bin is literally a big butt and gives you a hard time, jiwon helps you

like the time bin screamed at you because you couldnt get the dance right and you, being a strong woman who wouldnt let people push you around, screamed at him too

it resulted to you having a screaming match and the elders having to push you back because you were so close to punching him in the face and the youngers holding bin because he wouldnt hesitate to come at you

more on that in a sec

Donghyuck:

oof my baby sunshine

previously stated, he was the only one excited for your arrival

so obvs, yall are very tight

you, bob, and dong do vlives together a lot and ikonics look forward to it all the time

always cheers you up

remember that prank for ikon tv where dong literally started comforting the girl?

well, he does that to you

he knows when you start to get upset and he rubs your back

sometimes, just a hug from him makes it all better

did i mention that he gives out the warmest hugs?

ace dancers

both of you love to do covers as bonding time

whenever you can’t sleep, you just go to the other dorm and go under the covers while he sings to you

he sees you as his little sister and reminds him of his own little sister back home

btw, he loves to give you gifts

but so do you

when yall were filming ikon tv, he always picked up something that reminded him of you

like when he went shopping with bobby for their studio, he got you a little cute figurine that you still have to this day

or when you went to lotte mall for your day off and bought him a little necklace

fans get excited bc they always see matching yall have

the two of you wear the most fan gifts

like when someone gave hanbin a shirt, you snatch it and wear it

like how dong takes bobby’s clothing

yall are so cute together and fans wish they had a brother or a sister like yall

Junhoe:

this hoe

jk, but he really looks hot in this one

yes, he hated you in the beginning but once he found out similarities between you, he started tolerating you

also to him, i think he oesnt like the fact that him and the others worked so hard to get where they are and he doesnt really know what you went through to get there

junhoe has the personality that may seem very cold at first but he easily opens up to others and that causes them to open up to him

he knows the struggles you went through to be in ikon

you’re older than him by a few months and you treat him like your child

‘junhoe-ah! dont forget to take your makeup off!’

‘yah! clean your room! its like a pigsty!’

he gets annoyed with it but he knows you just look out for him

he calls you ‘noona’ with that cute ass smile if he wants something

how can you say no to that

yalls laughs are so loud and yall are just loud in general

one time, yall had a competition on who could sing louder and the guys almost banned you from the apartment complex

the neighbors weren’t happy

he always asks you for fashion advice even though you don’t have a good fashion taste

you have the habit of spoiling him of clothes and shoes

‘noona, you don’t need to do this. take them back’

‘wtf they’re from busan. i’m not about to take a train ride there to return those. keep them.’

his mom absolutely adores you

always tells you to look after him and junhoe blushing like a maniac

‘mom, i’m bigger than her. i think she’d need more protecting than me’

he turns red whenever you pinch his cheeks together

ngl, he had a crush on you but it faded away when he saw another member having a crush on you too

hes scared of him so hed rather back off

but you love him a lot and comfort him bc hes a little baby that really needs to be looked after

Chanwoo:

fuck, so cute

at first, chanwoo ignored you and made sure you were uncomfortable

even going as far as to disrespecting you

like being rude and being un-chanwoo

lets just say yunhyeong beat it out of him

as the youngest member, you baby him the most

‘oh, my little baby!’

initially, he was uncomfortable with it

but now, he lives for it

pouts when you give another member too much attention

teases you about your short height all the time

helps you grocery shop mainly for him to carry the bags

‘dont worry, noona. im strong’

you find out that chanwoo actually joined the group last and had a hard time fitting in

you used this to your advantage to get closer to him with your similar situations

‘you know, being in an unfamiliar environment is hard. but having someone who understands your feelings makes it easier’

and he just looks up to you with those big brown eyes and you just melt

gamer buddies

love to go to pc cafes even though yall have your own respective computers at home

only goes for the food

always calls him when you’re stuck in one level

*cute Hanbin’s voice*

‘CHANWOO-YAH!!!! JUNG CHANWOO!!!’

even though he might act like a bitch sometimes, hes actually so soft and cute

hes your little baby and will always be your little baby even though yall are like 80

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moondustis · 5 years

Text

swang my way (m)

pairing: wong yukhei+ reader genre: smut word count: 2k summary: yukhei held his phone with one hand and a dumb look on his face. he had been looking at that picture since the moment you sent it, only stopping to reply to it. of all the things he was expecting you to reply to the vine compilation he had sent you with, a nude was the last one in the list

one of the certainty you have in your life is that if you asked someone to describe your personality in a few words, spontaneous would not be one of them. every action you made always involved a lot of thought and previous considerations. you hate changes and doing things out of nowhere, maybe because you are afraid of dealing with unknown situations or because you are just a creature of habit.

that’s why you think you are absolutely going crazy when you stand in front of a mirror, with nothing but the cutest pair of lingerie you own, ready to take a picture for you boyfriend.

it’s maybe not that big of a deal to some people, sure. but you, the virgin that sometimes blushed when her boyfriend touched her ass, had never done anything like this before. and yukhei hadn’t even ask sfor a sexy picture or anything, the last thing he texted you five minutes ago was about how good vine compilations were.

a wave of both excitement and anxiety hits your body when you kneel on the floor in front on the mirror, doing your best to mimic the pose from the pinterest picture you found. it’s not a bad view, you think to yourself, with the way your baby pink bralete makes your boobs look and how they match the soft red lipstick you applied.

you take a lot of pics with all the poses you could think of and, after laughing at how weird some of them look, you decide that looks good and natural enough.

your heart feels like it will jump out of your chest when you lay in bed and open your chat with yukhei. your minds goes through all the reasons you shouldn’t do this while you type and delete ten different texts.

after half an hour you decide on sending something that resembles a meme, because yukhei would like that.

you:

open for a surprise

you:

*attached picture*

you feel your heartbeat get faster and you have to put your phone away to try and make the dreading feeling in your stomach go away. you weren’t worried that yukhei would react badly, he was always sweet and made you feel special. no, you were more worried you were making a fool of yourself, that your attempts of looking sexy were a complete fail.

your thoughts are interrupted by the notification sound of your phone and if your heart wasn’t this fast already you are it would burst out of your chest. the sound doesn’t stop until you pick up your phone to see the notifications from your boyfriend.

yukhei:

assdffjsjjahdoaksskk

yukhei:

oooooooooh mY GOD

yukhei:

holy umfuckkkkkkk

yukhei:

damn baby u are so hot what did i do to deserve thisss

yukhei:

i feel like im about to die fuckk

knowing yukhei you fully expected him to overreact, so the blush that takes over your face is not that extreme. you still giggle at your phone, excited over how excited he seemed about the picture.

you:

stop

you:

im ao embarrassed

so*

yukhei:

noo u shouldnt be

yukhei:

i liked it a lot

you:

im glad u did

❤️

yukhei:

😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍

yukhei held his phone with one hand and a dumb look on his face. he had been looking at that picture since the moment you sent it, only stopping to reply to it. of all the things he was expecting you to reply to the vine compilation he had sent you with, a nude was the last one in the list. it wasn’t even a nude, just a picture of you looking cute in matching underwear but that was enough to get him in his feelings.

did he overreact? yes, maybe. but it was a surprise, he never thought you would ever send him something like that. you were usually shy and every time kisses between the two of you would get a little more heated, you would back off leaving him most of the time with a fully hard on and only his imagination.

it didn’t upset him, of course. he understood and respected that you weren’t ready for it. but sometimes his mind would be too much and he would wish so desperately for you to finally let, and want, him to do all the things his imagination came up with.

maybe, just maybe, this was a small step for you that was meant to show him you were ready for things to move a little forward. his heart raced at the thought of that.

yukhei:

so was this like an invitation to sext?

you:

no omg

i never even did that

yukhei:

oh lmao

okay

i mean i would be down to that if u wanted

like super down

😉

you:

lmao of course u would

but really i have no idea how to even do that

yukhei:

it’s pretty simple

what r u doing rn?

you:

glad u didnt ask what i would be doing if u were here rn

yukhei:

lmao

cmon im not that cliche

you:

so, right now im just laying in bed and texting u

wbu?

yukhei:

same... and thinking about what i would be doing if i was there with u

🤪🤪

you:

jfjffndvkkgdjj stfuuuuu

yukhei:

but fr

tell me

are u still wearing that lingerie or did u just put it on for the picture

you:

i am

*image attached*

his heart is not beating as much anymore but he can still hear it in the silence of the room. the other photo you sent was raunchier than the other, more spontaneous, it shows only your torso and it’s sinful how the baby pink lingerie makes you look almost angelic. like you came down to this earth to ruin him.

he doesn’t know if it’s just the picture or the whole thing of you doing this for him, but he can feel himself getting hard. still, he doesn’t touch himself just yet, hand wandering and stopping just above his waistband.

yukhei:

oooooooh god

u look so hot baby

u drive me crazy

im not even kidding i really wish i was there with u right now

you:

what would you want to do if u were?

yukhei:

fuck so many things

u have no idea how many fantasies i have with u

you:

tell me

ur favorite

it’s hard to pick a favorite. even more so now that he’s got something to upgrade his visual material. he likes imagining you riding him on the small he and mark got for their dorm when they moved in, a hand on your neck because ever since you told him it was sensitive, he couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to choke you. sometimes he imagines fucking you in a bathroom at a party because you just couldn’t wait until you got home, and everyone knows how well he’s doing it because you can’t keep quiet.

but the best one will always be the one you are on your knees, eyes staring up at him like you’re begging for him to fuck your mouth. it’s not the most scandalous thing but it gets him going like nothing else. just thinking about it has his dick twitching in his pants.

yukhei:

i like imagining u on ur knees

looking all obedient and pretty for me

you:

oh my god

yukhei:

and u let me fuck ur pretty mouth

like the good girl u are

you:

i would like to do that

“fuck” yukhei mutters and his hand automatically slides inside the pants and just a touch on his dick has him shivering. you said you wanted it, you wanted to make one of his fantasies come true.

slowly sliding his fist up and down his dick a couple time he decides it’s too much and not enough at the same time so he makes a bold move. clicking on his phone with one hand he goes to his contact list and clicks on your phone number.

the continuous wait sound makes him slightly nervous. the anticipation of hearing your voice right now, like this, making his insides warm.

“h-hi” is what you say after picking up and maybe it’s his mind playing tricks on him but your voice sounds a little breathless.

“hey, baby.” he says “i’m sorry i called i just really wanted to hear your voice.”

lame, that’s what he is.

“it’s okay, i’m glad you did.” he can’t help but giggle at your words.

“you’re perfect.” his hand is still moving lazily and he feels a bit ashamed for doing this when you sound so innocent. “and you drive me crazy, you have no idea.”

he wants to ask you for another picture, a video even, anything that shows him exactly what you are doing right now, but he assumes that would be too much. so he contents with the way your sounds are making him feel, the little moans that you let out are still shy even though you’re alone in your dorm room.

“tell me what u are doing, angel.” he almost begs and it takes a few heartbeats for you to finally reply.

“i’m... i’m touching myself.” is your reply and even if he suspected it, hearing it from you has him tightening h

is fist just a bit.

“how do you like to do it, huh? do you do it slow?”

“uhmm, i like to start slow and pick up the pace when it gets too much.” your voice is shy and it definitely sounds breathless right now. he moves his hand and up down, biting his lips with so much force that he’s sure it’ll be bruised tomorrow.

“do you like fingering yourself?” he asks and imagines what you would like with your legs spread open and two of your fingers inside of your tight cunt. he lets out a breathy moan.

“yeah, i do.” a moan just as loud as his leaves your mouth. “but i can barely fit two fingers inside, it’s to much.”

“fuck, fuck.” the speed of his hand just goes faster and faster, his whole body feeling electric. “i bet you are going to feel so tight around me, and so fucking good.”

the words just start coming out of his mouth and he can’t control it. doesn’t want to with the way you’re moaning for him, begging for something you can get just now. pleads of his name that make him feel on cloud nine.

he spreads the pre-cum that gathered around the tip of his cock and starts pumping faster, imaging he’s fucking your pussy instead. “i can’t to finally fuck you, babe. i wanna feel you around me so fucking bad, make you come all over my dick.”

“oh my god, holy shit i’m about to-“ and then you are coming with a long whine that sounds a lot like his name. he imagines what your face would look like right now, all blissed out and your body shaking from your orgasm.

he comes a heartbeat later, hand speeding up only to slow down again. he comes so hard that not only does he see stars, but he also feels them sparkling all over his body. “fuck” is all he manages to say.

you’re both trying to catch your breath and for a while it’s quiet besides that. he feels content and assumes you do too if the giggle you let out is any indication.

“i can’t believe we did this.”

“me neither.” he replies “i’m so glad you sent that photo.”

“me too” you say, your voice sounding like it does when you’re smiling. he desperately wishes he could kiss you right now.

“feel free to like send more anytime you want.”

you hum, like the idea pleases you. “we’ll see about that.” and then you’re hanging up.

yukhei:

not even a sleep well my baby thank u for the mind blowing orgasm?

im offended

you:

lmao u are so lame

goodnight my baby thank u for the average orgasm 😘

yukhei:

AVERAGE???

didnt sound like that to meee

...

baby

BABY

was it really not mind blowing

you:

go to sleep yukhei

yukhei:

ugh ok

goodnight sleep well my angel from above

😘😍❤️😍😘

#yukhei smut #lucas smut #yukhei scenarios #lucas scenarios #nct smut #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #nctwriters

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mirror-hero-mira-blog · 5 years

Text

My Story

This will be mildly depressing but its my story and why i am how i am and all ive gone through it twenty short years

So I will be twenty soon and people keep wondering and asking or praising me for surviving trauma. I’ve decided to explain in full and un censored detail my process, what i went through, my thoughts during it, the effects and how it left me. There are mentions of abuse, sexual assault, depression, domestic violence, suicide, and very dark thoughts so be warned. My memory is also unreliable as i am never sure what is real and what is not before the age of thirteen so im doing my best to recall everything in order, ages wont be exact as i try to repress and just out right can recall them.

My trauma started roughly when i was 7-9. I recall laying in bed and hearing my parents violently shout at one another, about what i cant recall, and crying because i was afraid of an unknown danger. I remember a rift being made in my house, me being lashed out at, and my mother rarely being around the house. Now before i go further i was a shy child who had little friends, i have one younger brother who is two years younger than I, most of my days, or what i can recall, was in my room reading and later playing on my ds once i got one while rarely going outside to play aka catching frogs and bugs. i dont recall much from when it started, i was a smart kid so i think i knew something was wrong but wasnt emotionally or mentally ready to deal with it.

Now, i was a big daddys girl but i also loved my mom dearly because well shes my mom. One of my clearest memories from this when i realized it wasnt right was my mom showing up to the house and me being so excited since i hadnt seen her in so long i let her in, she hugged me and my father instantly yelled at me and scolded me. i think the next thing was me being sent to my room but thats where it ends. i remember feeling so confused because shes my mom why cant she be home? why shouldnt she be allowed inside? why cant i be happy to see her? thats the last clear memory besides us getting kicked out of that house due to rent not getting paid.

I remember my mom trying to keep calm and smile and she told me “we have to keep stuff packed because we will be moving soon and need to be organized”. Looking back im really happy she tried to keep little me happy and from knowing.She may not have been the best mom but she certainly loved me then as well as my brother. When we were kicked out i recall my dad not being as in a rush as my mom, he seemed tired and to say flat out like he couldnt care less. I was packed up with a few of my things, the rest in a storage unit including my entire child hood, and moved to a different state.

Me, my family and our dog were moved in with my mothers mom who was by far not the best but i couldnt do much as i was maybe 11-13? I remember her blaming my father for things he didnt do, i remember yelling and violent arguing between my father and my moms boyfriend (my mother and father had separated if you couldnt guess), my mom in the middle yelling at them to not do it infront of the kids. Eventually we moved from there after my grandmother had called the police on them for some reason (i recall it just being a warning or something nothing serious). My mom had broken up with her boyfriend and moved with us, i shared a room with her and my brother shared a room with my father, at this point we had our original dog and 3 dog sisters who we loved dearly (we being me, my mom, and brother). i remember starting to feel what i would come to realize was the beginning of my depression as well as my anxiety, that i had since i was little, beginning to get much worse. I was bullied harshly during this time and barely got by in most of my glasses because of what happened in that house.

i dont know how long i lived in that house but it wasnt incredibly long, 2 years maybe? i know it was half of middle school there with a year or so at my grandmothers. The first little while was calm, i hardly remember much from when we moved in so im assuming it was. I recall playing wii with my mom and watching tv siting of the floor eating pizza, followed by me and my brother playing the wii version of sims ( i recall him learning how to beat the rng and us never playing again). My next clearest memory is more yelling and banging. Violence. Now i wasnt a stupid kid and was much more brazen than i am now, i was a child genius who could quickly deduce what was wrong. I would get into the arguments, stand between my mom and dad to keep him from hitting her, yell that i wouldnt move or let him touch her. yell at him so much my throat hurt. One of my most clear memories is my mom yelling at me to call the police and as i dialed she came in and locked the door telling me to just not. i checked if she was okay and recall hugging her and just siting there afraid not fully being able to understand.

At some point my dad had enough of me and my mom and threw us out of the house, throwing our things as we sat on the bed of her truck, even throwing our two of the 3 dog sisters at us while we waited for the police, now what happened after this makes me realize just how manipulated and emotionally abused i was. My dad convinced me to come home, leaving my mom at my grandmothers. he convinced me my mom was evil and manipulated me using the state i was in to take me from my mom. he talked badly about my mom constantly and eventually his girlfriend moved in. his girlfriend was as bad as him and i recall feeling unwanted. i have a scar on my arm that makes me recall how brazen and unafraid i was at times. The scar was breaking up a fight her dog had started, it attacked my dog sister and she told me to stay out of it as my dog probably started it, i got in the middle picked up her dog, it scratching me deeply across my upper arm and shoved it into her chest. i picked up my dog and took her to my room. i was still bullied during this time, faced the manipulation at home, and started becoming suicidal.

Now this next part is something im not proud of but shows just how far i was into this manipulation and how far i came. My father kid napped me. Him and his girlfriend decided they wanted to move back to her two daughters and away from my mom. my brother was apprehensive but i was a mindless puppet so i did as told as thats what i was raised to do. we packed up in a 48 hour period, me not sleeping for that entire period and were getting ready to leave. i had this large white monkey i had since i was little, it towered over me and i loved it, his name was marvin. i mentioned why we werent bringing him and that we had to because he was our family and even got a bit teary eyed over it my dad said “if you want it that bad we can leave you and dakota (my dog sister) and you can sit on your ass until your mom swings her ass around to get you”, that terrified me so i reluctantly agreed and was taken to a completely different state yet again with the question of “why would he leave me”. i recall not enjoying my time there and my father limiting my mom talking to me so much i dont really recall much more that a phone call, i was kept out of school for a while until one day police came and told them my mom was taking us back. i left with barely any of my childhood possessions yet again with my dad treating it as her taking us by force, i said goodbye to my dogs and promised i would see them again, i never did and never will.

the trip back i screamed, argued and fought my mom and not yet step father. my dad manipulated me well i guess. i calmed down when we got back to my now home state and got the last dog sister ginny, my mom asked my grandmother to watch her, and headed to my moms home. i had trouble suddenly adapting to a some what better environment where i wasnt treated like a mindless child. i was so damaged and i dont think they knew to the extent.

In these years i was verbally abused by my mom, step father, and brother but they were so much better than my dad despite it. i was reaching my peak depression and had attempted to commit suicide by this point but had failed. at some point i recall them “cleaning” my room, as due to losing nearly everything i owned i clung to things, and burning what they deemed trash it made me have a break down because well just look at what had happened previously to things i owned. in that period i was locked out in the cold, verbally and emotionally abused, treated like i was a piece of shit and that i was worthless and i believed that for so long. my brother had hit me a few times and even started encouraging my suicidal mind set, my parents (which will not be my mother and step father) said it was just him being my brother. Due to my previous trauma i was desperate for friends and to be liked and it have social interactions it led me into some very very toxic friendships and relationships. i had someone who stole my phone and said she just wanted to see what my number was, but had texted my mother iw as stay for a study session when i wasnt. i got home and was brutally yelled at for lying and they yelled the entire time while forcing me to give them all my passwords then calling me out for lying when i gave them the wrong email password by mistake. in the following time period they would check everything i owned, i had to privacy or sense of self. even to this day i hate people touching and looking at my stuff, im still so paranoid ill get in trouble for something. during this time is also when i was first sexually assaulted.

Yes that said first as it happened twice. they both abused my prior trauma that made me a selective mute that disassociates when in stressful situations. i wont go in depth but even years later i couldnt be in the same room with the first without being sick to my stomach. the second was into my junior year of highschool. between that time and the first i was emotionally manipulated, attempted suicide again and failed, became even more depressed and suicidal, and developed more toxic friendships that i now realize only hurt me as they playfully bullied me and only one of that group, who never did, remains my friend or well my best friend as she stayed by me despite not knowing any of my past. i was manipulated into entering a long distance fwb relationship that ruined a good friendship but also helped make me more stubborn towards people who tried to do that. the verbal abuse still happened during this time and my brother got to the point of doing it the worse. my junior sexual assault ended with us breaking up mutually but him getting such a hate towards me that he tried to ruin my life by turning any “friend” against me and brutally harassing me until a girl i respect so much stood up for me, shes getting married and im excited for her and happy i met her despite us not talking. half way through my junior year i began to realize how bad the people i was around most of the time were for me, so i stopped hangin out with them and started selectively being around people who engaged me in conversation and who actually included me. i was still struggling through the tail end of my suicidal spell and my awful depression as well as ptsd, having nightly flashbacks that often left my crying and having break downs where i just hated myself so much and hated that i couldnt be normal and happy and not annoy my friends with this shit, it caused me to never talk about it and it made it so worse going through it all alone with only my fucked mental state.

my senior year i gained some self confidence and started accepting myself. midway through i had a bad relapse and nearly succeed in killing myself but managed to yell at myself to not as i was holding a handful of pills to my mouth, not even an inch from it. that was my last attempt.

i struggled still, had relapses, fought with my own head without anyone knowing as it told me they didnt care and i was a burden so i should deal with it by myself as no one deserved that. i hated when who i told felt so bad for me and wished it hadnt happened because it happened and i cant change that no one can and i dont like being seen as sorry and weak.

over the years until now i tried endlessly and hard to build my self back up and gain some sense of self and try to begin my recovery.

i still relapse, i still think about killing myself, i still have massive anxiety and panic attacks. but im alive and i survived.

I count the days between relapses, it happens left often. Im covered in scars but no one can see the ones i purposefully caused anymore. I hurt and ach and want to be cared for and want to be loved and have people around me who care for me and who value me. Im working on building myself a supportive circle of friends and trying to become as stable as i can be with what i have.

My family says i dont need therapy and refuse to try to help me get it so when i move out its my first priority, i have ever lasting mental scars from my trauma that wont ever go away but im slowly learning to live with it and becoming proud of who i am.

something i forgot to mention is yes i was hit as a child. to this day i freak out and panic and will throw myself to the ground if it appears someone is about to hit me. i cant hand yelling or loud noises, im afraid of people and crowds, i have trust issues, i speech impediment, things i cant do because of the scars of my trauma.

now you may be asking how im alive? why i still keep living? how i got through this alone? honestly i cant answer the last one because i dont even know, but the first two i can roughly explain.

i didnt ever kill my self because right before i would i developed a concept of proving people wrong, that i belonged in this world as i had already survived nearly dying at 5 due to an allergic reaction. then as i got older i made the deal that if i made it to 18 that would be enough, im turning 20 soon. Now a days i have people and things to live for. When i think of killing my self i think of my friends L and M (not real names of course), i think of my dogs, my guinea pigs, my dreams, my goals, all the things i want to do. Ive become a role model to others now so i cant just die on them and give up on them. I cant help people and help others going through what i did, i cant be there for the people i care about to ensure they live and make it too, i cant be there to give them what i didnt have; someone who cared and loves them.

ive felt unloved my entire life and it hurts knowing the people who are supposed to love you apparently dont if they do what they do. it hurts seeing people going through what i went through because i know how much that hurts and how over bearing it can be. My trauma made me not want to make the same choices and hurt others in the way they ones who hurt me did. It made me not want to bring life into this world unless i was sure i wouldnt make the same mistakes. It made me crave to be loved and have people by my side and it gave me a weird but reasonable goal: Live a life i can be truly happy and safe in, a life without fear.

i still struggle daily but im getting by and im getting there, im trying to become someone who i can be proud of, someone who can and will make a difference even if its saving one person.

i fight every day to live and have been for a while, hell i cried on my 18th birthday because well i didnt think i would last that long or be alive to see it.

Im alive, and i will continue to be to show others facing and feeling what i have felt that you can do it. you can live and thrive and fight for your life and end up better than you are or were and better than those who hurt you. Ill stay alive to act as a pair of open arms to those who are in my place, to give them someone who cares, to teach them they dont have to do it alone or hate themselves for wanting to depend on others.

Im here because i feel i need to be to break the cycle and prove i deserve to live as do they and as do you.

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tumblunni · 5 years

Text

Hhhhh if i can raise $500 in a month i could design the new gym teacher character for a sequel to a nostalgic fave game of mine

Aaaaaaaaa

And i'm a little dissappointed that even though the first game literally awakened me to the whole concept of being genderqueer they still arent gonna have any actual genderqueer characters. That kinda sucks cos seriously that goddamn two sentence mention of different pronouns existing fuckin EXPLODED MY MIND and led me down a whole road of self discovery. A bit sad to know it was a big deal for me but maybe not for the writers. Oh well!

...so man i kinda wanna throw $500 bucks at them and be like PERHAPS..CONSIDER...A NONBINARY ANYONE. Like i dont even have an idea for a character yet lol! Only being able to pick the gym teacher is a bit specific so none of my past oc ideas would work. But can i just throw money at people to let them know that nonbinary people play their games and we're enough of a market to maybe add like one npc somewhere or something? Seriously just those two sentences were worth so much to someone struggling as a teen, can you imagine how many more young queer kids could feel that "oh god im not broken" moment if there were more characters like them? And i mean things have actually progressed a lot since the first game came out. We now have a lot more commonly accepted genderqueer pronouns! The first game was pretty ahead of its time for raising the subject but it talked about old 1970s scienceman pronouns and stuff. (Tho lol a part of me wishes the spivak set would become more popular just cos it was my first introduction to the topic)

I dunno man am i asking too much? Am i just projecting onto this game cos i played the first game during a dark time in my life? Ehh..

Anyway if i can't do HERE 500 DOLLA PLZ PUT ONE ENBY STUDENT IN THE BACKGROUND then i'd maybe do this gym teacher thing? I was thinking just.. A nice person. Some big bubbly happy teacher who doesnt have any form of grumpiness or avtually-kinda-manipulative-behind-a-false-facade. Just cos these poor kids deserve at least one teacher they can trust, lol! Also cos gym teachers are often the most stereotyped as grumpy bastards out of all teachers forever. Itd be nice to imagine an ideal world where gym lessons arent the worst part of every week and like.. Actually goddamn help kids stay healthy or enjoy sports, instead of being just a boiling pot of abusive army seargeant teacher and every bully getting free reign to smack you about. Just gimme a nice buff teacher whose muscles are strong for hugging and supporting everyone! Oh and maybe their character flaw could even be that they're too nice? Like sort of an ironic thing of the gym teacher being strong physically but emotionally a "wimp". They're sort of seen as dumb muscle and not taken seriously by the kids, but half of the time their funny "naive" moments are just them being too trusting of everybody. Its easy to spin some sob story and ditch class! I think that'd line up well with how gym class goes in the first game, wher eyou never see the teacher and it seems that the bully kids are making all the decisions about the lessons. Like i could see the gym teacher caving in to stuff like "we dont wanna excercise at all we're just gonna use magic to move the ball" if they were kind of a doormat. And maybe could even have a plotline where its like.. Dark consequences from this? Like you're getting bullied and the gym teacher basically becomes your enemy despite being good natured, cos they keep falling for the bully's side of things and not believing you. Or tehy try and be all "lets look at both sides of this" when there really isnt a second side, or their way of dealing with conflict in general is to completely ignore it with some overly optimistic and utterly flawed sort of "just talk about your feeeelings" hippy crap. And in the end you could call them out on how their attempts to "be nice" are shortsighted and hurting people worse than intentional cruelty ever could. And really they're not even a "nice person" but just someone terrified of conflict, who's willing to sacrifice their morals whenever anything gets too difficult. It could potentially be a really good plotline cos the player might get to trust this teacher and like their goofy comic relief personality and then they betray you when you need it the most. And its even more crushing because its not them being an intentional fucko like the other jerk characters, its just them deciding you arent important enough to take the risk of standing up for you. And maybe it could indeed have a good ending of this teacher atoning for their shittiness, but that'd also mean they decide they really arent prepared for being a teacher and shouldnt be in this position of authority over children. So they resign and that leads to the situation in the first game where gym class is just the kids being left alone to fuck around with a bag of basketballs for two hours. Alas! (But yknow if the writers liked the character and wanted to bring them back in later games i wouldbt exactly object to that, lol!)

Tho probably i wouldnt make this character nonbinary cos honestly people get Really Weird about gender when it involves sports and bodybuilding and stuff. Its already hard enough to get people to accept a buff or tomboyish female character so i bet no matter how androgynous i draw a gym teacher everyone's still gonna assume male. I mean i still get fuckin bummed out whenever i watch lets plays of Undertale and see people calling Undyne male for houuuurs after the game constantly and repeatedly tells you she's a woman. >_> So yeh if i wanted to make a genderqueer oc it would probably be in less of a loaded plot role, yknow? But gym teacher is the only option currently available on kickstarter. Someone else nabbed Librarian in under an hour after it started! No fair! XD (im excited to see that libarian if the backer was THAT DEDICATED to getting the character, i bet theyre gonna be awesome!)

#magical diary oc stuff #aaaa i feel 15 again

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shruggingcutely · 5 years

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Random thoughts on 7th Dragon - the economy sucks

I assume nobody follows me for my video game opinions, but hey, I recently found out all the 7th Dragon games that weren’t released in the West (i.e. three out of four) had complete English fan translations, so I decided to go on a journey through the series. I’m about a third into the original 7th Dragon right now.

7th Dragon, if you don’t know, which isn’t too unlikely, is a series of RPGs that started on the NDS when the creator of Etrian Odyssey set out to take his modern take on Wizardry and apply it to the formula of Dragon Quest (which, incidentally, was also inspired by Wizardry – it was, as they say, big in Japan). The dragon apocalypse hits your fantasy world with adorable character designs by Mota, followed by two sequels on the PSP where you fight contemporary/sci-fi dragons not by Mota, and finally the last part of the series, on 3DS, gives you both settings and wraps up the whole thing and somehow was the only part that made it to the West.

The parallels to EO are immediately obvious, as you create a guild and a party of four, complete with front and back row, out of classes that seem a little familiar. The fighter has similar moves as EO’s landsknecht, same for the knight and EO’s protector, etc. Ailments are similar, but binds didn’t make it here. You quickly feel at home, even as it changes up the structure of the game and adds some new combat mechanics.

Fighting dragons is about as fun as you’d expect coming from EO… which is to say a lot, if you enjoyed EO at all. The game gives you so many tools to reduce incoming damage, heal damage, dish out damage, and one I find particularly interesting is the reactive skills. First off, there’s simple parry-style attacks. If your samurai uses the skill corresponding to the right kind of attack the enemy does, they will avoid all damage and retaliate. Then there are skills that trigger counter attacks for several rounds: let your mage put a shock veil on your knight and the enemy will eat lighting every time they dare attack them. Finally, the game’s React skills give you an additional turn when certain requirements are met in the next five rounds. Your healer gets a free turn when a party member dies? Yup. Your rogue gets one on successful counters? Yes. Your princess gets one if a party member gets a turn from their own React skill? Heck yeah. You can do some stuff that is both very gimmicky and very powerful with this, and supposedly the sequels explore these kinds of skills more, so I’m excited.

The game’s structure, however, introduces some problems, some of which are… odd. To accept a quest you have to find an NPC who has one, then accept it at the guild house’s quest board, talk to the NPC again to find out what they want, do the quest, talk to them again, and finally collect your reward at the quest board. These unnecessary steps seem just a little tedious at first, until you get to parts of the game where an NPC in a village without guild house requires your services and you get to go on a long trek to the next big city. And talking to the NPC is the only way to find out what they want, so you better not forget.

One of the game’s big conceits is its dragon counter. There are 666 dragons for you to kill, who, like EO’s infamous FOEs, are powerful enemies that walk around dungeons and join nearby battles, and they are bullies who spread deadly flowers all over the world. These flowers hurt your party as you walk over them and, to make matters worse, increase prices in stores significantly as they presumably cut off trade routes and endanger foragers. Add to this the high random encounter rate that interrupts you every couple of steps and slaying dragons to save humanity feels less like an adventure and more like a job. You do have to pitch your services to several governments. Even in your fantasy RPG, the gig economy.

As Aevee Bee says in her piece on pacing and level design in Bravely Default and Etrian Odyssey about the latter, “And you’re not bored yet, because you run out of resources before you can be, so you really, really want to take that step, explore more, see how much you can push yourself, even though maybe you shouldn’t…see how powerful it is to tempt players into making the wrong choice?” 7th Dragon likes you running out of resources very much. Every map of a dungeon contains 5+ dragons, who, unlike FOEs, aren’t always avoidable and often come in groups that will gang up on you. This means even if you immediately and successfully escape every single one of the numerous random encounters, you can’t take much more than a handful of dragons before you need to heal. Where do you heal? Towns, usually. And thus you make five trips in a row from the city to the dungeon to get rid of as many dragons as you can while getting interrupted by random encounters constantly. This is the first time in an RPG like this where I fled all the time and only fought the dragons I absolutely had to so I could progress. When your level is high enough they barely give any XP, either, which turns it into a high risk, low reward situation, so I kept them around for leveling weaker characters. It’s not like they’re bothering anyone like this anyway.

My starting party didn’t exactly help matters, though. I quickly decided to go with the princess and knight combo, because I love the princess’ role as a buffer with ailments and heals. This is the class I take in every EO game. The knight not only reduces damage to the party a lot, they also deal good damage and have a hard synergy combo with the princess: the skill that declares an enemy wanted does nothing at all, unless you have a knight with the skill that attacks wanted enemies for high damage. The princess’ downside as main healer is twofold: she has no skills to remove ailments from the party and as every EO player knows ailments are very deadly, and she has no revive. Both of these can be compensated for with items, but because these aren’t available early on, I decided to pick a healer as well, which let me focus less on making either of them a pure healer. Result: ehhh, they often end up with turns where they can do nothing of consequence, so I decided to train up either a samurai or a fighter to switch in. With my fourth party member being a mage with three elements, this party suddenly has very good damage. I still haven’t found revive items in shops, though, so my… fighter, most likely, still has some dragons to eat before that. We’ll see how that goes.

By the way, changing your party? Only possible in a single one of the towns. Hope you enjoy traveling.

#rant #7th dragon #rpg

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toddykun · 6 years

Note

toddy, what do you think of donald and scrooge relationship in this episode???

oh anon, you just asked THAT question to my overanalyzing ass lmao thank u so much, i will indulge in this without restrictions ggg

little summary of donald and scrooge’s relationship in the episode: #TeamUncleForTheWin2k18 in a—more literal sense than expected. this gonna be a looooooooooooooooooooong post anon, so hold yourself. and take into account that this is my opinion and my interpretation so i could be right or wrong, we just dont know, so that :D

all those scrooge and donald’s bonding moments were wholesome and funny (i loved them with all my freaking heart is2g they having a better relationship is my fuel to keep living lmao) but there is still some things that are hanging on even after scrooge definition of family that is obviously about them so lets start

1. scrooge choosing donald immediately and ‘i was in the will?’ moment

after going awwww when scrooge excitedly goes around screaming game night and he immediately chooses donald and laughing my ass off because donald’s ‘i was in the will?’ line, all that got me thinking because i cant stop my overanalyzing ass lmao. why did scrooge choose donald and why was donald surprised to be in the will? the overcompetitive nature of scrooge answered the first one really fast, scrooge chose him, as always, because it benefits him for reasons, reinforced by the threat of them losing and removing him of the will, more than because he wanted them to bond over board games. this is actually not that weird for scrooge, he usually does this a lot, especially to donald. i actually have problems with this more because of the actual status of their relationship more than because scrooge did this, this will be explained with the next point so i will go with my second question.

why was donald surprised? there are two possible answers for this: 1. donald didnt ever really thought about the will matter, the theme is new to him so hes surprised 2. donald didn’t think scrooge cared enough for him to be in the will so hes surprised when he actually is. i will be expanding in the second one because donald could have thought various things from this:

1. he could have thought that because of scrooge’s greedy nature, the possibility of him having a will was nonexisting, he wouldn’t want his fortune to be someone else’s even after death, even when real scrooge would consider that a waste, the possibility of anyone being in scrooge’s will is a big ‘wait what’ to him 2. his board is the one getting everything lmao theyre the ones handling all those business stuff and that whats matter to scrooge, so why would anyone else be in the will? 3. if someone from the family was meant to be scrooge’s heir, it wouldnt be him, it would be only della, the twin that scrooge favored the most. definitely not him, the twin that scrooge reprimanded and dismissed the most. him? in the will? wtf? scrooge couldn’t care enough about him to put him in the will. but he does and whoa, wait what i am???? donald didn’t think scrooge would care, and that makes sense, this scrooge is terrible at really showing donald he cares about him outside from fighting and using him as bait. so, donald is surprised.

the good thing is, i actually see this version of scrooge having everyone in his will: the twins, the triplets (especially louie, hes probably his principal heir at this point lmao), webby, mrs beakley, launchpad, matilda (if shes alive), his parents (who are kind of immortal now?) even gladstone, fethry or grandma duck (if shes alive). leaving them all a special thing that would help them in some way, something with meaning for every person. especially to the twins, who are like his children. another good thing, scrooge is starting to show donald that he cares, enough to put him in the will and i hope this progress in scrooge showing him that he cares about him more than he actually shows him.

bonus: scrooge running stairs down with donald was precious and funny. 10/10. not bad, scrooge was just so excited. so cute.

2. ‘that’s why he chose him’, charades and non-verbal communication, understanding donald, and acting nonsensical moment.

‘ooooh, thats why he picked donald’, dewey just confirmed my suspicions about scrooge’s motivation for choosing donald, it saddens me but i expected it. again, not because scrooge did this because of his competitive strike but because he hasnt show donald that he would choose him even if he couldnt get something out of it. i want more scrooge respecting donald for who he is more than for what he can get out of him. i need scrooge choosing donald because he is family too cuz almost all the time he only chooses him for benefits. like overall, scrooge probably plays favoritism with the twins over anyone else in the family, but with the twins themselves? he favors della over donald, in an over ridiculous open way, he is really not trying to hide it. like, he recriminates donald for not being like della in the ‘17 comics? how fucked up is that? i try not to use the comics’ standpoint of their relationship because it upsets me honestly, they glorified della too much and abused donald too much. maybe because theyre from scrooge’s view of point? hes always going around talking about how great della was but donald? the series at least says that donald is actually freaking good, strong, smart and sharp and deserves the fandom getting over the top for him. the comics well….u know. but the thing is, the comics actually explain why donald is so surprised every time scrooge shows him affection or why donald looks not surprised when scrooge just uses him as a decoy, like bruh :/

‘you spent thirty years guessing what donald was saying, you must get good enough at non-verbal communication’ donald and scrooge are, not-so-surprisingly, good at charades (della must be too, now that i think about it, if scrooge and donald are almost unstoppable then the twins are really hardcore about it), this comes from donald having a speech impediment, something that probably led him to use a lot of non-verbal communication in the past. kids with especially difficult speech impediments to deal with rely heavily on non-verbal communication, usually because they develop social anxiety, insecurities and are overall scared of not being understood and being punished for it, especially outside of their safe circle (bullying, indifference, little to none social circle). baby donald probably suffered from this (who am i kidding, he definitely suffered from it, hell, donald is the most suffering classical disney character honestly the old comics are not even subtle about him being mentally ill and disabled), these kids can even stop altogether talking even to the ppl they know can understand them. all this comes into play if we assume that scrooge hanged with the twins since they were kids. hortense or not, grandma duck or not, scrooge spent time with the twins like he spends it now with the triplets. donald is not the most confident person, since he was a kid, for a good reason, he probably didn’t talk a lot as a kid with ppl outside his safe circle, scrooge comes to play later into his life so hes probably an outsider at the start of their relationship. but adventure needs communication for teamwork and to keep kids safe out there you need to be able to understand them and they need to understand you. this left scrooge with only an option: learn to understand donald, no matter what method he uses. charades? scrooge understands. ASL? scrooge understands. unintelligible gibberish? SCROOGE UNDERSTANDS! wow, hello, lost confidence.

that probably boosted donald’s confidence quite greatly. an outsider, uncle scrooge that is grumpy and kind of asocial, gave the effort to understand little scared and unintelligible donald that probably only his twin and parents until now could understand perfectly. if that didnt bust his confidence idk what could. points for scrooge for being a great uncle!

for all this, he hasn’t told donald he doesn’t understand him because he does understand him, almost perfectly (like the triplets should do, just saying), he isnt going to have an ‘i dont understad you’ moment…..yet i expect it doesn’t happen or else, im gonna cry, first the triplets who had lived with him all their life? and now scrooge who webby said has spent at least thirty years with him? fucking come on. if della comes back and she doesn’t understand his twin brother perfectly im gonna cry, fucking honestly. donald needs to confidently talk with his speech impediment, excitedly, happy, almost unintelligible but with the confidence that there are ppl out there that do understand him and love him. i expect scrooge and della to be those ppl (not counting the caballeros, uno, storkules, and other family members, who can maybe understand him but arent with him constantly to remind him to not let down his confidence in that matter).

also they fighting nonsensically is the best thing, because they do that a lot, they fight over the most ridiculous things and they act like that sometimes, just pure idiocy over the most unimportant matters is like their default mode is the best. they’re can be so ridiculously petty, i love them.

3. ‘team uncle for the win!’, hug and retreat and lets just shook hands moment

THEY HUGGED!!!!SO!!!GOOD!!!!! wait no keep hugging what are you doing? show each other how much you care, you need it, you dummies, goddamit and now you’re shaking hands ok why not fucking god

well besides that, ‘team uncle for the win!’ was a beautiful, spontaneous and wholesome moment that i shouldnt overanalyze but i will anyways lmao i have the opinion that scrooge said that spontaneously but can be interpreted in a more literal sense to understand scrooge and donald’s actual status of their relationship. team uncle is literally for the win, it wouldnt exist if it didn’t fulfill that specific function, donald probably knows this team up is more a way for them to win, for scrooge to win. but when against all odds they are successful in jenga (lol) this triggers something in scrooge that genuinely burst him into an affection spring and makes him shout that, it was just a piece, they both know it but its almost the first time they have bonded in years and donald, who is particularly sensitive and reacts a lot to emotions, reacts as well with affection and excitement, and what happens when ppl sync up their emotions spontaneously like that? they are overflowed with it, they need to act on it, emotions are almost impossible to control, they’re unpredictable, quick and extremely powerful driving forces so what obviously happens? THEY HUG!!!! emotions made these two idiots hug, they havent hug in years!!! YEARS!!! and they hug again in years because they were overflowed with genuine affection!!! but like i say, emotions are quick and when they end, its like a slap of realization in the face, they go ‘omg i did that!’ and separate immediately, just to go and cordially shake hands? when emotions are involved, context usually flies out the window, they probably forgot ten years of separation in that instant, but when it ended all those years came back and made it kind of uncomfortable. so their ‘we’re doing this just to win’ attitude comes back.

but it was good! its a good start! i dont know if they showed each other this kind of spontaneous affection but without embarrassment, pre-della disappearing but it. is. GOOD. these two need as much fluff as the triplets and webby get. uncle-nephew/niece relationship is a big thing in the DuckTales universe, and for scrooge and donald to not have as much as the triplets get kills me inside. they need this the most, so i hope this season provides because it started well in that matter, i hope it progresses into unapologetic and genuine affection without embarrassing departings and weird shake hands.

4. helping him get up moment

completely underrated and wholesome moment, like there are no downs at this moment, its too good, they helping him up? nice. scrooge looking at them mad while protectively holding onto his boy who i remind you is in the will and for consideration, he’s one of his heirs (the other one being definitely della and very probably the triplets)? so nice. beautiful, i love it. mindless fluff this was. 10/10.

5. using donald as a weapon and scrooge’s definition of family.

like theres a difference between fighting alongside scrooge and being used to fight by scrooge. and here we see it, that even when scrooge is technically using donald, they are actually fighting together, its different from when scrooge just forces donald to danger and fights and you know why? because donald is doing it willingly. he is enjoying himself fighting, donald has shown from time to time that he likes to fight. so when he fights willingly and scrooge joins him, he enjoys himself, he is happy. like, look at his face, donald is into it, this is a duck that likes adventure and fighting, this is different from the gladstone’s episode and the ‘17 comics, where scrooge just pushes donald into things without his consent or knowledge because what? he thinks donald wouldnt understand? that donald is going to say no to protect his family if necessary? goddamit scrooge, if you took the time to let donald trust you and explain things to him, he would do the things you ask him, he is smart and u know it. this is one of the things where i hc the twins to differ, adult della followed scrooge almost blindly into danger, pushed by her own ambition and thirst for adventure, while adult donald, careful donald who was probably in the navy and has seen things and adventure spirit has matured, did not. i dont think scrooge took that as good as he should. scrooge favored della for throwing herself at danger just like that, confidently and recklessly, but would frown at donald, who turned around and asked why, who said no, who said but, who said this doesnt worth losing ourselves, who was again, too careful. so, scrooge decides to push him around, to see if this could trigger something, instead of talking him into it, and we know how hard it can be for scrooge to talk things trough. i dont think scrooge had any malicious intent but he didnt choose the best way into that and well, when you force someone into something they dont want, it doesnt end well. scrooge needs to learn to talk things through. also, scrooge needs to apologize, donald already forgave him but just that its not going to fix ten years of separation and past issues. scrooge needs to put his weight into this relationship too. and this probably starts with scrooge’s definition of family:

“You drive each other crazier than anyone could and still care about each other more than anyone!”

we have seen this particular definition of their relationship play into the old comics a lot, and in some low level in the series. but the thing is and i have pointed it out several times for the whole post, scrooge is not exactly good at showing donald how much he cares about him in the series to the point that it surprises donald when scrooge does show that he cares about him, and it makes sense that donald is surprised by it, scrooge had openly displayed favoritism for della saying how incredible she was but for donald the only thing he has really openly displayed is dismissal, comparisons to his sister and that scrooge usually just uses him to his beneficial. scrooge needs to learn how to show his affection to the twin he has left effectively, we know he cares, but donald doesn’t and for good reason! scrooge, show him your love for real!

in conclusion, their relationship is improving! it still needs time and adjustment and for scrooge to meet donald halfway into the whole forgiving the past stuff. however, they love each other despite everything and i think thats what matters the most :D they can do it! these ducks dont back down! AND…

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sorrelstream · 6 years

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Cinderheart, Icecloud, Runningwind and Silverstream?

a read more bc i wamble

CinderheartDo I like them?: oushdfyo as a kid i was the Biggest cinderpelt stan so when i saw cinderheart was cinderpelt 2.0 i lost my marbles i was so excited and i love her sm ,,

How I picture them: shes stocky and a tabby like her dad brackenfur !!! i also imagine shes got tufted ears (kinda like whitestorms!) and shes got some white markings too (a little white heart on her cheek and a white muzzle) .. her tail? literal cloud

How I would write them: i wouldnt have made her the reincarnation of cinderpelt?/ like that whole plot was just. weird and awk in my personal onion. if anything i wouldve had it like uhh sorrel named cinderheart in honor of cinderpelt for dying for these kits so cinderpelt in starclan was like “hee hee mini me :)” and just kinda visited/floated around cinderheart a lot to make sure she was doing ok ?? kinda like a guardian angel type of deal…so not reincarnated just cinderpelt likes floating down and pointing out cinderheart 2 yellowfang like “SEE they named her after ME and shes my baby now :)”((side note….in my wc rewrite au thing hollyleaf becomes leader and cinderpelt gives her a life and thats the life of friendship/companionship bc cinderpelt always admired the friendship between holly and cinder))

Unpopular Opinion: her relationship with lionblaze is really forced and bad and just. fucking boring + out of nowhere hsdfshdbhf . she shouldve dated heathertail instead :pensive:

IcecloudDo I like them?: yeah!!! its been a while since i read the books but i remember she was rlly cute and i rlly liked her when i read the books ;; im love her and fox they shouldnt have died so soon for no reason other than to thin the crowd ://

How I picture them: in my hc fernclouds trans so all over her kittens are adopted (except for..maybe birch who she found a surrogate for..) which explains why like None of her babies look like her anyways HUOY i picture icecloud as a near-solid white gal with a little red tail tip/markings on her tail and ears that are the same shade of red as her brothers!

How I would write them: i wouldnt……kill her off??? like that was a rlly dumb decision imo to kill off so many of the younger warriors bc now thunderclans all..oldies..anyways…. she was rlly cute and id love to see more interactions between her and her siblings or her ma ferncloud!!

Unpopular Opinion: i rlly dont like the ships that are like her and any of the three (like with lionblaze or hollyleaf or jayfeather or anything dhsfbsdhff) mainly bc….theyre closely related? theyre like 2nd cousins(? idk if thats the word? shes sandstorms niece so squirrel/leafs cousin and idk what that makes her and the three) and its just,. H. anyways uh

RunningwindDo I like them?: hes ok! i dont really have an opinion on him? he was just kind of there so i never really hated him or liked him a whole deal! i was upset that tiger killed him tho :^(

How I picture them: a LONG man like hes the literal exact opposite bodywise of his sister mousefur (shes like. round and stocky w round ol ears and a broad face) and then runnings just lanky weasel rat man with a snout and legs for days. hes just too damn long

How I would write them: hmmm im not sure! idk if i would change anything :”O maybe i wouldve given him more interactions with his family!!

Unpopular Opinion: not. really an unpopular opinion but uh as cute as i think runningred is for sands parents i personally prefer the hc that sandstorms half clan (for my wc au/rewrite shes half windclan!) but runningred is still cute!!

SilverstreamDo I like them?: absolutely the Fuck i Do she was one of my big time faves as a kid i wept when she died and i watched. so many silverstream amvs

How I picture them: ooo sleek and has oriental longhair features (she gets that from the windclan blood in her genes HFBHDFSD) but shes got a sturdy build and a soft belly like her dad. shes a black silver classic tabby and i honestly picture her eyes green like her pops HFDBfh

How I would write them: I WOULDNT KILL HER OFF THATS FOR SURE H!!!!!! id keep her alive and honestly i wouldve introduced her earlier on like as an apprentice when graypaw firepaw and ravenpaw r apprentices and they have this like friendly interaction going on at gatherings and stuff !!! like i wouldve integrated her into the WHOLE friend group sooner

Unpopular Opinion: uhhh i cant? rlly think of any hm… the headcanon that shes the same age as leopardstar/mistystar is fucking weird bc then shed be old enough to be graystripes mom but ive only seen that like once…

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despite-everything · 3 years

Text

i feel really weird rn

like okay so ive had mental health issues since is was 8, but it feels like things have been so different since the pandemic started, and not just in the growing-touch-aversion and absolute-fear-of-seeing-people-or-being-in-public ways (thought those are happening too) but i feel like i’m just getting... weirder? like thats not a good way to put it at all but i really dont know what other word to use. i used to have certain physical stims, and i still do, but ive developed this verbal tic/stim i cant control when im happy/excited, which isnt too big of a deal, but whenever i get upset with myself for literally whatever reason, ive started flinching like... really hard. like my head sharping snaps down/to the right and i squeeze my eyes shut. and its even for little things, but its only whenever im upset with myself for something i said/did/didn’t do. im worried im like copying behaviors of people ive seen online or something, and i really dont want to be like accidentally mocking someone, but its involuntary and i hate it so much.

since ive been living entirely alone since the end of may, ive gotten more comfortable letting myself move and live the way i want, even if that means that i wave my hands when i get excited or doing the dishes in a particular way, and those things dont bother me too much. i feel that im overall more comfortable when i dont have to be hiding parts of myself from people - be that family or roommates - but theres some stuff i jsut hate and it sucks. ive always had problems with meltdowns over certain things like people touching my laundry, but im worried im getting more sensitive to things. like i had to get a different piece of jewelry for one of my piercings, and it is ever so slightly different from the one before (like to the point that literally no one can tell. i could only tell because i looked at a picture with the old piece and then was like. thats Different. then i dug up the old (broken) piece and compared it to what i have now and saw the minuscule differences) and it made me cry for about 2 hours and i had to call a friend and i refreshed my hair dye/hair cut in order to calm myself down. like.... i dont think i used to be like that???? and also weird stuff doesnt bother me. i have this huge blowout on one of my tattoos - i didnt think about the fact that i shouldnt get ink while on accutane, so it was entirely my fault - and it literally doesnt bother me at all. it looks like i have a bruise about the size of a nickel on my arm, but i dont even care at all. i feel like that should bother me more than a piece of jewelry.

anyway im just working on some schoolwork and remembered something i forgot to do and it made me do that flinch/wince thing and i just wanted to vent about it a bit

#mine

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disappolntment · 4 years

Text

undeveloped thoughts until a new psych don’t crucify me

actually don’t even read this I’m venting and it’s probably victim playing because I don’t think I’m going through a hard time ever apparently

gd my mum bitches about my little sister like she isn’t in the room with us

I want to be supportive and validating to them both because I see both sides

It’s just a bad position to be in. I love them both a lot but it happens every day and instead of her dealing with it she just yells at me about it and then acts like it doesn’t exist and my little sister doesn’t have any consequences but honestly the only person my sister treats like this is my mum?

Regardless a kid doesn’t understand?? They’re just getting yelled at

but I’m trying to get into a new psych, deal with my eczema and get back into uni/life and friendship circles

I can’t fix ur parenting for you

or mediate for you anymore and I’m asking you to stop but you’re still taking and I’m still giving but I’m a fucking pushover for people I love

I’ve been doing it my whole life. I didn’t know I had emotions until the age of fucking 21 because the only time you’d give me any form of attention was when you were crying about my dad (fuck yeah toxic behaviour I probably mimicked but my dad was also a narcissist so :) :) :) I have self professed daddy issues don’t I just have a fucking target on my head)

(raised to think now feel later tbh which is why I was so fucking dumb when trusting the first boy I slipped into bed with YIKES IM A DUMBASS LMAO he was a complete stranger in hindsight but I trusted brea’s input and honestly I think I was just connected to her? Not her fault lovely human who went through a lot also even if she hates me lmao)

Find your own fucking voice of reason REGARDLESS MUM

She doesn’t even listen to advice and just talks over me all of the time? infuriating. I asked her yesterday if she was going through a difficult time lately and she told me no? She is having the best time everything is going really well for her etc she is really excited about life and the business

She genuinely is on top of the moon every single day. But the only things she speaks to me about: her emotional baggage. stress. this needs to be a double ended stick. to get support you need to give it. because The way Annabelle talks to you is the least of my issues when I have split personalities induced by psychosis. (My own fault. I’m an adult. I’m not blaming her).

When I black out for 3 days straight and don’t remember the last 3 years of my life...

I need a hospital.

I need a good psychiatrist and I’m in a position where I am PHYSICALLY unable to get it.

I don’t need to hear your emotional baggage.

I’m going through a hard time right now and I can’t give mundane support to people.

I’m so selfish though?

deal with your own shit IM BEING AN ACTIVE LISTENER and giving you decent support and you aren’t even asking me how my day is in return.

I do it because I love you but I fucking can’t even love myself right now please stop doing this if you don’t 100% need it? I’m only one person. This is just stupid.

everything is genuinely my fault coming down from losing reeya (especially because she heavily sided with my ex after validating the abuse but tbh I think I treated her like trash so I kinda understand and that genuinely is her decision I hope she is doing well now and we have both grown idk it was probably for the best I’m so self destructive all of the time which isn’t tight in friendships but ya girls first relationship her fucking dad died in it I’m not a miracle working despite putting on a brave face. Again not her fault she had no responsibility by me at all this is a general observation

I’m not a psychologist so I don’t know who did who wrong especially after reading the messages she and joe exchanged?? But I was always acting how I felt and being honest and he was just guilt tripping me and making me feel bad about my concerns and lack of support idk how fucked up are large groups of people heavily addicted to weed and in denial about it)

(Actually in hindsight she did side with him and: It’s just so unsettling that my ex never spoke to me about the way he was feeling only to my support networks lol? Narcissist. He would always SHIT talk everybody he had ever encountered he hates everybody except the friends sexually assaulting me on a regular basis and thinks everybody is doing him wrong and I was the only reason he probably still has friends or a brother and am currently in a position where he can make his own life. bet they all fucking dropped off the face of the earth when you stopped having a hot girlfriend they could actively fondle and you to deny it. But then again prolly not y’all all into younger girls anyway??? Actively pursuing 17 yos is still a fucking crime :) :) sex fuelled perverts )

And having to admit to myself my ex actually is trash and all of these people I was convinced were lovely and good for me weren’t actually. All of these little things are coming back and genuinely no friends should be hearing them when they do? Because it did happen two months ago and I should be over it.

fuck yeah the incredible anxiety in public (only around men) I physically can’t control HAS BEEN REAL AND SOMETHING I haven’t had to deal with in so long

I literally

Just

Shut down

I can’t breathe

But I’m fucking dealing with it in a healthy manner I don’t need anybody to act sorry for me I need long term support and I don’t get that from my family SO IM FUCKING DEALING WITH IT. IT ISNT MY FRIENDS ISSUE.

but here I am playing victim because my issues aren’t even that bad 👈👈😎 and I’m okay being alive when I’m tending to my plants dog and video games

this past year has been hell on earth (I didn’t even know I was going through a hard time honestly #gaslighting) and I have a hard time creating new support networks which is fine because we are also working on thaaaaat I’m just venting Rn. I’m pleased to report I have a lovely group of friends that took me out and dropped me off at a party during PEAK SOCIAL ANXIETY I COULDNT GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT HOLDING EITHER SAMS OR JAYDES HAND they’re fucking lovely and I forget I have mental issues around them they’re actually fucking phenomenal

REGARDLESS I needed to vent a little so that continues:

yes, I can help you

but no, you aren’t getting help

********* I shouldnt need to be having emotional outbursts 24/7 for people to acknowledge they’re effecting me or I’m going through a hard time. I’m not like that!!!! I should just be able to tell them my boundaries and conveye WHATS going on and them recognise and respect me *********

If I’m being a little bitch isn’t that the point of talking about it? fucking hurt my feelings I don’t care it’s PRODUCTIVE even if you fucking need time to like sit on them I’m so understanding WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU NEED I KNOW IT CAN BE ROUGH

“Sorry” just fucking guiltrips people without change

But it also prevents you from making meaningful connections with people if you refuse to change.

(Have fun being your dad dumbass xx)

DO WRONG? ITS GOING TO BE CONFRONTED IF I LOVE YOU BECAUSE I WANT THE BEST FOR YOU AND in turn us. Stop being a bitch about it.

But I can’t even say that with complete conviction nowadays especially in the company of people after my last relationship and my ex best friend because my reactions were mine in all of it and I did lose reeya. Objectively speaking I must have been shit because reeya isn’t a dumb person?

still haven’t told my shit psych about any of this because he is cracking onto my mum and me

And actively telling me I can’t pursue uni or any goals I bring to the table. Always cuts me off when I wish to vent.

Stress

all because I saw his face today and he acted happy to see me which is a fucking lie because that man does not have a single ounce of empathy and that’s still so apparent because all he does is fuck freshly 18-19 yo’s and bitch to my loved ones how much he misses me like lmao you never even established a bond with me I was just a trophy. but anyway he has never actually apologised or attempted to rectify any of his mistakes the only thing he has ever said to me was shit like “*fake tear* you hate me” “you just want to fuck him” (I HAVE SUCH A LOW SEX DRIVE IM ALMOST POSITIVE IM ASEXUAL I DONT WANT TO FUCK ANYBODY UNLESS IM OBSESSED WITH THEM AND I WOULD TELL HIM THIS AND HE WOULD ALWAYS TELL ME IM LYING OR IMPLY IT IM JUST TRYING TO FUCKING ACCURATELY EXPRESS MYSELF AND YOURE GUILT TRIPPING ME) “I look shit (my dad literally just died and the entire Italian family is downstairs arguing about the funeral and shit talking me to my face and I’m crying about it and the only things he says is that. I yelled at him constructive things like: it probably wasn’t the time for that I just needed support for a little while?? I felt bad and started comforting him because I loved him and him being happy made me feel better.)”

Occasionally when he was drunk “I’m the best” NARCISSISTS

Such a fucking victim playing narcissist (and his brother does it too to this poor girl named Phoenix??? But she is leaving soon if Mitch doesn’t decide following in his big brothers footsteps, fucking people younger than his little brother, is detrimental. I hope they get off drugs and spend time away from mitchs family. I’m always torn between sending her a message to establish an “sos” contact in the area but Sam still lives there so that’s comforting? But also not really because that environment is not good for Sam to be in. Torn.)

You weren’t the one cheated on buddy. You weren’t the one gaslit. You weren’t the one who lost their dad and family and had no support other than “I hate myself”.

You got an angry reaction. You did something shit.

Also;

Yes, that man in public is interesting.

Yes, I am having human conversation with him and am learning things.

Yes, I am denying his advances.

No, I clearly don’t want to fuck him. He knows I have a boyfriend. You are POSSESSIVE AND TOXIC AND IN COMPLETE DENIAL ABOUT IT. I DONT CHEAT ON PEOPLE AND IVE NEVER CHEATED ON ANYBODY. I GREW UP WITNESSING THE EFFECTS IT HAD ON MY FUCKING MUM. STOP TAKING A MALE HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR HOT GIRLFRIEND AS AN EGO JAB. FUCKWIT.

YOURE EXACTLY LIKE YOUR FUCKING DAD THAT EVEN TRIED THE EMOTIONAL ABUSE ON ME IN HINDSIGHT

You. Are. Definition of shit buddy.

I told you everything and was made to feel emotionless? I literally gave you all of my emotions. Im so dumbbbb.

You had them.

Fuck you.

My emotional responses were so skewed because you GASLIT ME.

Trash is the human that gaslights a girl losing; her dad to cancer and entire family to the ordeal.

Trash is the human that says he wants to love and support a girl going through shit like that, and believes his victim playing/self deprecating ‘issues’ are bigger than hers.

You aren’t caring because you financially supported bringing me along for your life style so you can show me off?

Closure is just something I have to live without in both regards though. Which is shit because I genuinely want to grow from fucking up that friendship with reeya?? But also I’m so mad she took my ex’s side. Like... take no side at all if you can’t make a decision.

Both people could be equal parts the problem. It’s a fucking breakup.

I think I’m mad and guilty because I let joe use all of my support networks to validate himself.... but only after they validated me.

“Do better than your parents”

But I don’t understand if I should be angry or guilty over that entire ordeal?? Because I understand clouded judgement during that time and going through your own shit and hating me during that time I was a fucking DUMBASS and a sympathiser to somebody negatively effecting me “because he has done so much for me” (it should be a thankless fucking task I gave him the opportunity to leave before this entire thing I sat him down in his dorm room and said stuff in my home life is about to get rough I don’t know how I’m going to react. I’m prepared to break things off for the time being are you positive you’re prepared to do this with me it’s genuinely okay if you aren’t.)

(All in all: acknowledging so many mistakes I made like not reacting to a lot of things and giving people the benefit of the doubt; anyway I’m actively trying to correct them and it’s difficult in this environment because my families issues are mineeeeeeee B) B) B) BUT ALSO GIVING MYSELF TO PEOPLE STRAIGHT AWAY and now I have to relearn boundaries which is fucking TIGHT)

I wish them both the best regardless.

I probably did fuck it all up.

But like they’d ever tell me? Like I’ll ever get their side.

I genuinely didn’t mean to hurt anybody and was only trying to keep the peace in every regard because that’s genuinely how I was raised

But I just didn’t know that’s actually detrimental? Like people pleasing and shit (I’m growing all over again and realigning my moral compass)

So confusing because I never used to be a people pleaser with my friendship groups or anything like that.

I feel like I just unlearnt all of the information and dialogue I worked really hard trying to secure in a relationship :) I can’t even cope with my mum bitching about my little sister without having a mental breakdown now.

it’s all coming up milhouse-

my dog is fat (he got into the giant food bag like twice and almost flipped his stomach but instead put on about 50kgs so now I’m the owner of a fat Labrador) and dog aggressive now when other dogs try and hump him (it’s very weird for renny he is usually very patient but there’s a new puppy in the family so he is kinda over being the rest dummy I think)

I’m just going to invest my time into fatass and see what happens

I don’t know what I need or who to get advice from but I’m sick of joe always being in my environment nd if people don’t let me run anyway soon prolly gna neck because everybody I love sympathises with him so much which is so confusing for me it’s like people are going to fucking validate my emotions (which means fuck all now???) and also sympathise with my fucking abuser (which also needs to be validated by a psych because this is just beyond my support networks and me anyway)

👈👈😎

but alas here covid is so I can’t run away which isn’t an answer anyway but at least then maybe I can focus on myself for a day without everybody I love abandoning me

I’m a massive victim have pitty on me I hope things look up with this new psych and they don’t just convince me I’m playing victim too but invalidating everything I say. but it’s for the best because I think I get greedy when people give me a platform when I need intense emotional support (sorry you had to deal with any of this reeya)

fuck yeah

cant even blame my mum for guilt tripping me into accepting help from my ex while on holidays it’s my fault I was in that position!!!! because I’m a shit person who genuinely deserves to be alone for the shit she has done!!!! and her mother’s issues have always been hers!!!! But I just wanted to make everybody happy and you kept reassuring me it was okay!!!!!

so fuck everybody that thinks I’m a horrible person right off the bat when men are capable of making their own decisions especially when I’m giving them all of the facts???? Fuck victim players!!!!

AGAIN DONT CRUCIFY ME THESE ARE ALL UNDERDEVELOPED BECAUSE IVE HAD NO GUIDANCE AND STRUGGLE WITH INTENSE MEMORY LOSS THE PAST 3 YEARS ALL I CAN DOCUMENT IS THE WAY I FEEL AND IM SEEing A PSYCH SOON ALL I Can do in the meantime is treat the people in my current circle with respect but I’m struggling and need my family to support me emotionally a little without invalidating me? But I can’t dump all of my shit on them consistently because fuck this level of emotional baggage on anybody other than a psych or myself lmao

But that’s okay because people will never understand how the individual feels and it genuinely is up to me to deal with my own shit.

#mine

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kilnkin · 6 years

Text

@pear-otter proposing an Experiment

pear-otter Hello Aud. I know we aren’t on the best of terms, but I want to propose an experiment. I don’t remember if I told you this when you were in my body, but I can possess people. I want to see if I can do it with more ease now that I’ve actually already been you. Obviously it would be a quick in and out, no tomfoolery whatsoever. We can even ask someone to oversee, like Damian. Anyway, let me know. I’m just curious so feel free to say no, haha

kilnkin you didnt tell me but ive heard it around aka that time you told everyone lol why exactly should i agree to this

pear-otter Scientific curiosity?

kilnkin weak have you pulled it off before or is it all theoretical

pear-otter I’ve possessed a bunch of humans before, but trying it on other non-humans is kind of risky. I feel like it should be easy because I’ve been in your body before and I want to confirm my theory.

pear-otter Plus you could see what it’s like to be possessed without anything bad happening or having to do stuff you don’t want to.

pear-otter I might not even be able to do it.

kilnkin you probably will

pear-otter Probably.

kilnkin idk why do you even wanna know if you can if its just in and out that doesnt sound fun

pear-otter I don’t want to make you uncomfortable Aud. I’m just curious if the body swap had that effect. Since now I can pull off a pretty convincing Aud, I was wondering if there were other ways the body swap affected things.

kilnkin lmao it did plenty. im like scarred for life over here youve earned a recurring role in my nightmares im not uncomfortable though >:(

pear-otter Oh, same.

kilnkin same what. i didnt think you were uncomfortable

pear-otter No, the dreams

kilnkin LOL thats so sweet that youre thinking of me (:

pear-otter You literally just admitted the same thing.

kilnkin no i said nightmares and maybe i was joking

pear-otter Maybe I was joking too Stop changing the subject.

kilnkin were you joking?

pear-otter No. You’re always...there, in the background. My dreams are never about You, but you’re always sort of a background character.

pear-otter It’s weird because I always remember that you were there, even though I don’t remember my dreams very well usually. And it certainly wasn’t happening before!!

kilnkin ooh maybe a little part of me got stuck in your psyche after grand theft audo wont blame you! im very easy to get attached to (:

pear-otter Oh that doesn’t sound good Sometimes I don’t understand the dreams I’m in either, they’re not things I’m familiar with. Anyway. About my proposal.

kilnkin well thats just a dream thing. the nothuman mind is a kooky place you know oh! do you want to get in my head as like a revenge thing for me getting in yours? :p

pear-otter My dreams were fairly straightforward before.

kilnkin eye for an eye blah blah. how archaic

pear-otter No! I won’t be able to see your thoughts or anything Aud. Is that what you’re worried about?

kilnkin no maybe are you sure

pear-otter Yes. Trust me, I don’t want to see your thoughts. Nothing personal, that goes for pretty much everyone. Invading someone’s privacy to that degree is something you can’t take back.

kilnkin yeah so. just in and out right

pear-otter Yes. If you like, we can have a third party there to witness.

pear-otter I suggested Damian because I feel like most people would be weirded out. But as long as you’re okay with it.

kilnkin no reason i shouldnt be right

pear-otter Aud, you can say no. I don’t want to do this if you’re just trying to prove a point and are actually not okay with this.

kilnkin should i say no? is it a big deal or not make up your mind lol

pear-otter Look. I’m just curious. There should be no down side for you, but people here seem to think possession is a Big Deal. I can understand if you don’t trust me enough to give up bodily autonomy, even for a half minute. I promise nothing bad will happen to you. But it’s a big enough thing that I don’t want to force this one you.

kilnkin ugh

kilnkin yeah ok

pear-otter I won’t think you’re scared if you say no, just that you don’t trust me, which is reasonable given our past.

kilnkin i wanna know if it works

pear-otter Okay.

kilnkin i wouldnt be scared. and i dont especially trust you. but i also doubt your ability to actually pull off anything nasty havent proven yourself that creative lol when do you wanna go

pear-otter I also won’t take this permission as permission to ever do it again, just so you know. The thing is, possessing you isn’t super exciting for me because I can already become you now, through shifting. Whenever.

kilnkin have you? been me again much?

kilnkin you seemed pretty happy to not lol have you asked damian or should i

pear-otter No I haven’t asked Damian. He’ll probably want to check if you’re okay with it anyway, so you should message him.

pear-otter I was stuck in the library, so I haven’t had many Aud Opportunities. It is cool to have a form so perfected. I could probably fool anyone you know.

kilnkin unlikely again. you lack the creativity

pear-otter I mean acting wise, probably not. But just standing there? Absolutely.

kilnkin no way i have a very specific way of just standing there

kilnkin not just anyone can pull it off

pear-otter Fine then, a photograph.

kilnkin bzz

pear-otter I’ll just have to pay more attention to the way you convey yourself, since I haven’t had reason to look before.

kilnkin dont let anyone get a photo

pear-otter I could totally pull off a picture Aud

kilnkin consumed with thoughts of me in your waking hours too! m flattered nuh uh

pear-otter Your reading comprehension skills are terrible.

kilnkin soon to be, then

pear-otter Aud if you’re trying to goad me into taking pictures of myself as you, you’ll just have to wait, I’m in bed

kilnkin not really but yeah thanks for the info we done?

pear-otter Let me know what Damian says.

kilnkin sure anything at all for scientific curiosity!

pear-otter Okay! If you still want to back out, you can always blame Damian. Anyway, good night.

kilnkin good tip. night.

#ooc #im #pear-otter #posting cause look at them!! only kind of being brats!!

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