#if tumblr breaks and posts this too early i will cry

[thecatspasta]

Secret santa gift for @qc-wiggles. Monster Jons <3

#this is a scheduled post because im away right now #i just wanted to get this art on my tumblr because im proud of it #as of writing this its january 6th #if tumblr breaks and posts this too early i will cry #tma #the magnus archives #art #my art #jon sims #jonathan sims #jon tma #pasta scribbles #the magnus archives fanart #jarchivist #tma au #pastaway art

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Clownfall: Endgame

I am calling it that in the full knowledge that batshit things may yet happen, but listen. Listen. We have a year left before the general election. I am hedging my bets and assuming all that comes in that year will be Tory manoeuvring ahead of that. Let's all hope for a nice quiet year in which everything can fall neatly under that banner, that won't ruin this naming convention.

Previous Reading

Important Terminology - Required Reading

What is a Whip?

How do Whips work?

Shadow Cabinet

Front Benchers, Back Benchers and the Cabinet

What do we need to call an early General Election?

The Adventures of Big Dog the Clown - Suggested Reading

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Elanor’s Guide to Liz Truss - Suggested Reading

Character-based prequel

The Premiership of Liz Truss

The Next Steps - Suggested Reading

The post-Truss contenders

Bye Matt

BoJo Resigns as MP

Alright, that's probably everything. Just nice to have it all in one place, innit? If you would like a nice soothing soundtrack to your reading, here's my recommendation. On with the show!

Clownfall: Endgame

Wednesday

So, let's start with charismatic and charming Home Secretary Suella Braverman! You may remember her from such hits as "Quitting before she could be fired after breaking the law only to be rehired by Sunak almost immediately and without consequence to appease the right wing nutjobs in the party", and "Claiming Pakistani men have a culture that makes them work in abuse rings to target vulnerable white English girls" (I should add that, if you are unfamiliar with Suella Braverman, regardless of what that quote implies, she is not, in fact, white); recently she made the news because she announced that being homeless is a "lifestyle choice". So true, Suella! They could give it up any time they wanted. They could, for example, get together and break in and steal your fucking house.

But in particular, here we're focussing on her recent stance towards the multiple huge pro-Palestine marches that have been taking place in London. So far she has indicated that she wants people who wave Palestinian flags to be arrested, so that's very measured and rational of her; but, last Wednesday (Nov 8th), she decided to write a lil opinion piece in the Times all about how mean and biased and liberal the police are. This is an absolutely fascinating assertion to I suspect literally anyone who has ever been involved with the police. But no! Quoth Suella, aggressive right-wing protesters are "rightly met with a stern response", while "pro-Palestinian mobs" are "largely ignored".

And, she claims, the march on Saturday isn’t simply a cry for help for Gaza, but an "assertion of primacy by certain groups - particularly Islamists - of the kind we are more used to seeing in Northern Ireland".

Imagine how well all that went down.

Thursday

You are underestimating how that went down, because it emerges that Suella deVille did not, in fact, get any form of validated sign-off or permission from Number 10 before squirting her ill-informed liquid horseshit all over the front desk of the Times news room, and that, Tumblrs, you'll be surprised to learn, is actually quite an important and compulsory part of criticising the police when you are the Home Secretary. Like, there is a Ministerial Code about this. It is very clear. It is in Article 8.2, Tumblrs. Thou Shalt Have Permission From Number 10 Before Making Media Interventions.

“The content was not agreed with Number 10,” a spokesperson for Prime Minister Rishi Sunak told reporters, referring to the prime minister’s Downing Street office. The ministerial code is clear that any ministerial media interventions need approval from No 10.

-AlJazeera

And the Tories are furious! The bloodbath forms quickly and loudly and the hounds start baying! Clown noses are flying everywhere! The factions are drawn! Because even now, there are Tories too stupid to understand that whether you agree with someone or not they still have to follow the rules! Also the other parties realise they can offer some actual opposition here, given that Suella has essentially dragged a barrel into the middle of the House of Commons dressed in a fish costume, handed around a set of loaded rifles, and then crawled inside to wait. The result is that the calls for her resignation are both deafening and pleasingly cross-party.

"(This is a) dangerous attempt to undermine respect for police", says Labour's shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper. "(It's) irresponsible," says London mayor Sadiq Khan. "The PM's weakness when it comes to standing up to Suella is the most shocking thing in all this," claims a senior Labour source.

They're wrong, of course. The most shocking thing is Liberal Democrat leader Sir Ed Davey realising he can actually appear in the paper if he plays this right and so surfaces to attempt some politics. "(Sunak) must finally act with integrity by sacking his out-of-control home secretary!" he declares, frightening many MPs who had forgotten he was even in the room with them.

Meanwhile, several Tories approach the BBC anonymously.

"The home secretary's awfulness is now a reflection on the prime minister. Keeping her in post is damaging him," says one. Another straight-up describes her as "unhinged". Another claims the comparison with Northern Ireland is "wholly offensive and ignorant", and really, all of this is permanently triggering that "Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point" reaction image.

Saturday

Hey, speaking of reaction images, look, Labour has a go:

Well. They tried.

BUT! Do you want to know the INTERESTING bit??!

Enter: Nadine Dorries! Mad shrieking pink harpy who spends her days maintaining a BoJo shrine in her bedroom! Always the most hinged of politicians, let's see what she has to say.

Former cabinet minister Nadine Dorries claimed Ms Braverman was trying to get sacked to give her a platform of martyrdom in service of the right-wing. "The competition is on now for who is going to be the leader of the opposition," Ms Dorries told the BBC.

???!??!?

PERTINENT POLITICAL OBSERVATION FROM DORRIES?!?!?? The most shocking part of this whole affair. Remember that time she yelled at a journalist during an interview about Boris Johnson's latest scandal when he asked her how Johnson was feeling about the whole thing and inadvertently implied they were having an affair when No One Asked? God, wonders never cease. She's even acknowledging the Tories can't win the next GE, look. I'd say this is growth, except I am 100% positive she's just being catty about BlowJo being fired again.

Anyway, the real Saturday issue: it's Armistice Day, and there's a pro-Palestine march planned.

Now, to give context, Armistice Day has a creepy level of patriotic state-worship attached to it in the UK. Some time in October everyone on telly suddenly starts wearing a poppy, and if you don't you get hanged, drawn and quartered by (a) the British press, and then (b) a baying mob outside your living room. You most be performatively sad. You must perform reverence and hero worship and say things like "Never again" all while whole-heartedly supporting current wars. You must talk about "our brave boys", and share the works of dead poets from the trenches, and then completely fail to absorb any of their lessons. If anyone tries to wear the white poppy to distance themselves from the current political appropriation while still commemorating the millions of conscripted casualties, you accuse them of being "woke" and pissing on the worthy dead of WW1. It's a whole thing, and politicians love using it as an excuse to point fingers and mock each other for being insufficiently patriotic if they wear the wrong tie to the ceremonies, or choose to walk with actual veterans rather than a head of the current army, or any number of other things. And then on November the 12th they'll order a drone strike or something.

So, off the bat, you can see how a pro-Palestine rally on the same day was likely to be seen as provocative to some.

"Some" included Sunak! He didn’t (publicly at least) ask the police to ban the protest, but did call on organisers to call it off, claiming the choice of date was “provocative and disrespectful”, because as I say, a march calling for the ceasefire of a genocide is super disrespectful to every sad dead poet in a trench who dreamed of a ceasefire so they could live, or something.

But the inevitable therefore happens, which is that far-right activists agree that it's disrespectful, and so decide to violently target the march to show their respect for the idea of peace on Armistice Day, or something.

Here's the planned route by the organisers:

Note, though, that the Armistice ceremony happens at the Cenotaph - visibly nowhere near the march. These two events actually wouldn't have overlapped, if it weren't for far-right protestors deliberately linking them to stop them being disrespectfully linked, or something.

And that's exactly what happened. From the Guardian:

Perhaps the most striking incident, though, was when far-right protesters charged past police who sought to hold them back from the Cenotaph. In this video, a man shouts “this is fucking our country” in celebration. Whereas the pro-Palestine march had been excluded from the area as a precaution, the far right was not; by overwhelming the police, they supposedly sought to defend the site from an enemy that simply wasn’t there.

(that's quite a good article of the whole thing, actually, I recommend giving it a read.)

Crucially to the clown show, though, several politicians and others accused Suella deVille of emboldening the far-right, which... well, several of the far-right protestors straight up said was the case on the day, so hard to disagree, really.

Rumours of a reshuffle in Whitehall circumnavigate the land so fast the truth gets sucked into a tornado and is declared MIA.  Here's the thing! I've covered a few Cabinet reshuffles by now, Tumblrs, you know the drill. Reshuffles are always deniable until they actually happen – so if, say, a reshuffle was going to happen on Monday 13 November 2023, there’d be no need to publicise it in advance. That way, if things change and politics happen, you don't need to retract anything :)

Because, remember: reshuffles are always controversial.  Yes, some people get demoted, and those people will often kick off, and some people who don't deserve it get promoted, and lots of people kick off.  But the big thing is that a lot more people get overlooked for promotion.

His most ardent supporters would say that Rishi Sunak is a cautious man (if you'll allow me a moment to express my own view on the matter, Tumblrs, if you'll forgive this crumb of personal opinion amongst my otherwise impeccable journalling of greatest integrity, I once did a teambuilding task with my students where they had to build the best possible bridge out of uncooked spaghetti and pieces of marshmallow, and I personally would liken the structural integrity of his spine to the losing team's entry), and reshuffles will spread a lot of disappointment to Tory MPs who lose – or fail to gain – a cabinet position.

So, all in all... regardless of Suella's idiocy...

There's no guarantee of a reshuffle. Rumours are just that - whether they prove to be true or not remains to be seen.

Week Commencing Monday 13th November, 2023

New week, new challenges! And it's going to be a big week this week. On Wednesday (tomorrow, at time of writing), three big things are going to be announced, and these announcements will colour everything else this week:

One.  The Supreme Court decide whether the government will be allowed to enact their plan to send some migrants claiming asylum in the UK to Rwanda, a signature Braverman plan that human rights campaigners (including many in Rwanda) have been trying to block for ages.

It’s a massive deal anyway – a flagship government idea that’s been bogged down in the court, and we’ll finally have an answer one way or another.  For what it’s worth, the Tories aren’t confident about winning it, either.  The optimists among them reckon it’s a 50/50 chance, the pessimists reckon it’s 70/30 against, so it's iffy at best.

But here's the thing!

Plenty of Tories have always disliked Suella.  Others could handle the odd outburst she has, but can’t stomach the sheer number of them lately - the Lib Dem non-entity man was absolutely right that she is rapidly growing out of control and just does not know when to shut the entire fuck up.

Which means! If the Supreme Court allows the Rwanda plan, Braverman could become emboldened, like a far-right protest injuring police officers to defend the cenotaph from people who are nowhere near it and have no interest in it.  Do we want an emboldened Braverman?? Well; no, obviously. I also don't want dysentery, or rotten meat, or a serial killer in my neighbourhood. But it's a question even Tories are asking themselves, which is notable.

Plus, even if the court allows it, there will still be months of planning, and lawyers might still prevent the plans in the long run...  But psychologically, the issue is this: the government wants this win, but probably doesn’t benefit from Braverman feeling victorious.

Two.  We’ll get inflation figures.  The government promised to halve inflation, and it seems likely they’ve managed this.  Expect them to massively celebrate this, to distract from the promises they haven’t kept e.g. waiting lists in England, competent governance, etc.

Three.  Voting on a ceasefire in Israel seems likely for Wednesday.  It’s the SNP’s idea, and it won’t affect government policy (they won’t support a ceasefire – they claim it’ll empower Hamas).

But it’s a big deal for Labour, even more so than the Tories.  A Shadow minister has already resigned over the war.  A bunch of frontbenchers want a ceasefire, but that isn’t Keir Starmer’s policy, a man who is calling for the colours of the Israel flag to be shown at sports matches to show that "we stand in solidarity with Israel", because you can really count on Starmer to fuck up everything he touches.  So what do they do?  Abstain?  Claim they had a prior commitment??  We might see more resignations, basically.  Big day for Starmer.

So! With all that in mind...

Monday

8.43am

Oh look. Timestamps are back. I wonder if that suggests anything?

Suella Braverman is sacked as Home Secretary.

But! Sunak is accused of waiting too long! Which he demonstrably did!

He should have made the decision after the illegal article that she shouldn't have written and triggered a far-right rally on fucking Armistice Day.  Instead, remember that 'cautious' descriptor I talked about?? He waited until the tide had turned against her completely, and now looks like he (a) was too much of a useless wimp to fire her until he was sure people would still like him and pat his dick and tell him he's a Good PM, and (b) only fired her because he caved in to that appalling lefty liberal cabal that somehow these days includes the Metropolitan Police of all fucking people, and she'd have been able to stay otherwise.

Shout out to the best comment from Reddit:

u/nowonmai666: Doesn't she normally get sacked on a Friday so she can have the weekend off before being reappointed?

Anyway, that's the big risk now: Braverman’s supporters can claim she was only fired because Sunak caved in to the left.

8.56am

Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns claims Sunak only sacked Braverman because he caved in to the left.

9.00am

Neil O'Brian, Pharmacy Minister, quits to live out his stated dream of being a back-bencher with less power.

*sus*

9.09am

Nick Gibb, Schools Minister, quits to live out his stated dream of being more diplomatic, or something.

*sus*

9.42am

The Lib Dems decide to build on the success of their leader getting to be on telly for his one comment on Thursday and call for a general election.  Says Ed Davey: “It was the Prime Minister’s sheer cowardice that kept her in the job even for this long. We are witnessing a broken party and a broken government, both of which are breaking this country.”

Good job! They're having such a good few days.

Anyway remember the Tories don’t have to have a general election until December 2024, though, thanks to the Fixed-term Parliaments Act (2011), which was passed by the coalition government of Tories and, um, Lib Dems.  In which Ed Davey served for three years.

Hmm.

9.43am 

James Cleverly (remember him?) returns to the Cabinet and is appointed Home Secretary. The party attempts to appear trendy by experimenting with emojis:

This appointment is probably because Tory strategists wanted him in a domestic role to help the party’s chances in the next election; as Surprising Political Pundit Nadine Dorries told us, of all fucking people, the race is now on to lead the opposition.

But hey, this is not likely to lead to any more changes -

10.03am

FORMER PRIME MINISTER, BREXIT-TRIGGERER AND PIG-FUCKER DAVID CAMERON BECOMES FOREIGN SECRETARY

!!!!!!!!!!!!

And look! Another emoji! They're so hip!

(Side note... the balls on this one are astounding, actually. The UK political system has been in chaos ever since Cameron, and he was the first domino. This is not a well-loved former hero that will be greeted warmly by the unwashed masses.)

Awkward though, since just last month Sunak claimed that we’d lived through “30 years of a political system that incentivizes the easy decision, not the right one.”  It would be a terrible shame if a journalist was to ask David Cameron whether he agreed with the Prime Minister on that, given that Cameron’s job is to support the Prime Minister now.

Especially since Cameron took to Twitter last month to explicitly criticise Sunak for breaking the Tory promise to deliver High Speed 2.

(Cameron tweeted this criticism last month.  Labour MP Angela Rayner however promptly retweets it now lol suck a dick Dave, but try a human one this time)

Also, fun fact, Cameron has just come out of a large-scale lobbying and corruption scandal. Given the state of Sunak, though, that's actually probably what got him the job.

BUT!!! Here's an even funner fact: the man is not an MP. He left politics after he accidentally triggered Brexit and then it came out he'd once face fucked a dead pig's head while it was held on the lap of another Tory; he's been living it up in the lucrative world of after-dinner speaking, as these people do.

So can you do that?? Can you hold a Cabinet position if no one at all has voted for you??

Yes, turns out.

Don't be alarmed by that, though:

But, convention holds that anyone who becomes a Cabinet member while not being an MP needs to be a Peer - that way, if they do bad and naughty things, they can't be held accountable by the House of Commons but they can be held accountable by the House of Lords. Only problem is, Hameron is not a lord...

10.13am

The reshuffle, bafflingly, continues. Jeremy Hunt will remain as chancellor.

For the first time since 2010, the top four positions in government – Prime Minister (Sunak), Chancellor of the Exchequer (Hunt), Home Secretary (Cleverly) and Foreign Secretary (Cameron) – are all held by men.

10.18am

Lots of people tweeting about the historic context of Cameron’s appointment.  Here’s my favourite:

10.48am

David Cameron is given a life peerage, so his proper name now is Lord Piggledick.

10.52am

Health secretary Will Quince quits.  He wasn’t planning to stand for re-election anyway though, so this one is probably not a shock. But it's important that no one else resi-

11.04am

Decarbonisation minister Jesse Norman resigns.

...

...

...

Time for a

✨Conspiracy Theory✨

Between Quince and Norman – as well as Neil O’Brien and Nick Gibb – we’re seeing several mid-ranking ministers resign, despite being generally regarded as fairly competent.

It’s possible they were fired in private, and they’re publicly resigning to save face.  But here’s another theory.

MPs aren’t allowed to seek commercial employment for six months after resigning from the government.

So hypothetically, if you were going to lose your seat in a general election, you’d want to have resigned six months earlier so you can still get a job.

If that’s what these guys are doing, it suggests we’re on track for a May 2024 election...?

11.05am

11.12am

Remember Cameron's financial scandal? Quick background here: David Cameron was specifically vice-chair of a £1bn China-UK investment fund.

So let’s see what throwback former leader Iain Duncan Smith thinks of Cameron’s return:

“I am astonished at this appointment. It seems to send a signal to China that we are pursuing business with them at all costs and any costs. Those who have been sanctioned now feel more abandoned than at any time. Those facing genocide and persecution will feel more abandoned than at any time.”

I cannot believe I am about to say this.

But.

I agree with Iain Duncan Smith *spits on floor*

11.50am

Former Tory deputy prime minister Lord Heseltine is asked to sum up the return of Cameron, and says it’s the “clearest signal that the sort of right wing lurch that we’ve seen and the anti-European movement that we’ve seen has been put to bed, and that will get a message across to people”.

12.13pm

A Tory MP is worried that Cameron’s return will turn back the clock on Brexit and Johnson’s election.

“It is very alarming. I am predicting a softening on small boats, a softening on legal migration. I would not be surprised if the ban on conversion therapy returns.”

... Don’t threaten me with a good time.

Anyway, let’s see how the public actually sees Cameron compared with other PMs!

Yeah, not sure people will mind if Cameron’s not Boris Johnson.

12.43pm

ITV political editor Robert Peston walks past a minister of state.  The minister’s on the phone, but takes a moment to heatedly shout at Peston, “The PM just sacked me!”

I guess some days are easier than others as a journalist

12.47pm

Therese Coffey resigns as environment secretary!!!!

*choirs of heavenly angels sing*

You'll remember her of course, Tumblrs - she was one of the thugs manhandling people into the 'right' voting lobbies to force their vote on the day of Liz Truss' fracking law. Rumour has it she still has the Whip handle in her ass.

A lot of people seem to be resigning today! But don't be fooled. In almost every case, it’ll be because they were told to resign.  They’ve been sacked, but they resign to save face. A last mercy from their benevolent leader.

My guess: Tessie here is terrible at media skills, so – get rid of her before she hurts general election chances. This, too, is a pattern.

12.52pm

Rachel Maclean sacked as Housing Minister! Fun fact, numbers fans: it took Doctor Who 33 years to make it to eight Doctors, but since the 2019 election, the Tories managed eight Housing Ministers in just under 4 years

trololol

1.15pm

Jeremy Quin quits as Minister for the Cabinet Office.

1.37pm

Times Political Editor Steven Swinford reports that No 10 is struggling to find a new housing minister (owing to rumours the job is cursed). Several people have turned it down, including Jeremy Quin. It is incredible to me that they didn't line someone up before sacking the last guy.

Kemi Badenoch and Michael Gove are apparently unhappy that Rachel Maclean was removed from the role. I for one do not care about the opinions of Kemi Badenoch or Michael Gove.

2.04pm

Health Secretary Steve Barclay becomes Environment Secretary.  This is effectively a demotion for him. It is our 5th Environment Secretary in four years. Chasing that Housing Minister record! It took 19 years for Doctor Who to have five Doctors

2.15pm

Richard Holden appointed new Conservative Party chairman.

A 2019-intake Tory MP, he led the charge against Sir Keir Starmer over Beergate, which did damage Starmer a bit (albeit not much, given that it turned out Starmer had complied with lockdown regs, and the accusation was nakedly to try and distract from Partygate).  So this appointment looks like more strategy to win the next election - someone not known enough to be hated, with what passes in the modern Tory party for a proven track record.

This could be a sign that the Tories intend to at least try to shore up the Red Wall votes? As unlikely as the Tories are to keep those seats.

That said, Holden’s seat disappears in a boundary change next election, sooooo … we'll see what they do there.

2.24pm

Victoria Atkins appointed Health Secretary, replacing Steve Barclay who’s moved to Environment Secretary. She's a relative unknown but also considered actually competent. Massive middle finger to Steve Barclay

2.37pm

Laura Trott (formerly in pensions) promoted to Chief Secretary to the Treasury.

2.42pm

Science minister George Freeman resigns.

3.18pm

YouGov conducts a snap poll: is the appointment of David Cameron as Foreign Secretary a good decision or a bad decision?

Good decision: 24%

Bad decision: 38%

Don't know: 38%

So that's going well

3.24pm

Greg Hands is made a business minister after losing the Tory chairman role.

John Glen moves from chief secretary to the Treasury to become the Minister for the Cabinet Office and Paymaster General.

3.39pm

With Cameron being a Lord now, he’ll be based in the House of Lords rather than the Commons.  The most recent Cabinet Minister to be based in the Lords was former Brexit minister Lord Frost, who did weigh in on the matter:

“[T]hough I was not running a whole Department too. I don’t think it works well to have a lead Cabinet Minister answering questions and defending their Department solely in the Lords. The Lords is not a fully party political environment - nor should it be - and voters are owed proper political scrutiny. In our system, that can only happen in the Commons.”

I cannot believe I am about to say this.

But.

I agree with Lord Frost *spits on floor*

The SNP had already called this out, with MP Stephen Flynn claiming, “The UK is not a serious country.”

4.21pm

Conservative MP Lee Rowley appointed the 16th housing minister in the past 13 years. Even counting David Tennant twice, that's more than all the Doctors Who we've ever had, and that took almost 60 years.

5.16pm

Sky News’s Tamara Cohen reports that Sunak sacked Braverman by phone this morning!  Downing Street says there won’t be any exchange of letters between them - this is almost unheard of. Politics runs on paper trails! Everything happens through formal letters! By phone!

It means we’re denied insight into their differences.  But Cohen reckons we’re likely to hear from Braverman on Wednesday, as the Supreme Court rules on the Rwanda scheme.

6.03pm

Tory MP Andrea Jenkyns, former Education Minister, submits no-confidence letter in Rishi Sunak.

It's almost like, in the absence of Dorries, she's decided that someone needs to step up and have a tantrum and that someone might as well be her. It is, actually, an extremely funny letter, as these letters go. Normally they're written with a sort of furious earnestness wrapped in formal language. I presume that Andrea Jenkyns MP, former Education Minister, was aiming for something similar, and the first paragraph manages it. But by the end you sort of start to wonder if this was supposed to be a letter she wrote with her therapist to get her feelings out:

My favourite line, when pulled in isolation, is "Yes Boris Johnson, the man who won the Conservative Party a massive majority, was unforgivable enough."

Yeah, Andrea babes. You're bang on there.

6.05pm

Esther McVey is appointed as Cabinet Office minister.  Not a full cabinet member, but she will attend cabinet meetings.

This is notable: unlike a lot of today’s appointments, she’s on the right of the party.  Her role will be to represent the government on TV and radio as much as possible, talking about gender/culture/British colonial history issues (i.e. she’s anti-woke and a screaming bigot).

In other words, with Braverman gone, McVey is an offering for the populist right of the party to try to appease them.

6.15pm

Sunak tweets about the new cabinet, claiming they’ll make “the right decisions for our great country, not the easy ones.”  So it looks like that’s the new slogan, and we're pressing on with austerity

6.27pm

Tim Loughton, a Tory MP on the “One Nation” wing (i.e the David Cameron side) responds to Andrea Jenkyns’s letter of no-confidence by tweeting:

“Where can we submit a letter of no confidence in the Pantomime Dame?”

(It’s Andrea he’s publicly referring to as a pantomime dame there. A lil joke from the Tories for you)

6.31pm

Paul Scully sacked as minister for London. Didn't know that one was a position.

9.43pm

Sunak says that only a two-state solution will allow a new future for Israel/Palestine.  This is, um, not what the Prime Minister of Israel wants.  Who knows whether the Prime Minister of Israel will survive this crisis anyway – but these are big words from Sunak.  Cameron’s influence? Maybe? Interesting either way

10.03pm

And then - PLOT TWIST!!!

According to ITV political editor Robert Peston, a senior government source reveals that Cameron was approached on TUESDAY. 

Which means plans were underway to get rid of Braverman not only before the far-right violence on Saturday, but before her anti-police article on Wednesday.  It seems she lost her job not because of what she said about police after all; but because she claimed homelessness was a lifestyle choice.

Well well.

11.05pm

And the day finishes with Andrea Leadsom back in government (as Under Secretary of State for Health and Social Care) which nobody saw coming!  Pretty demeaning to the other 300 Tory MPs who could have been given this.

The final response from numerous Tories: they are feeling jilted and insulted because David Cameron being brought back when he's NOT EVEN AN MP, RISHI suggests that they themselves are not good enough to be in government.

No one tell them

#politik #clownfall: endgame

[gentaro-kinniecom]

༻Zipping up a dress/shirt trope (unit leaders + Wataru)༺

Characters: Madara Mikejima, Rei Sakuma, Wataru Hibiki, Keito Hasumi, Rinne Amagi, Shu Itsuki, Chiaki Morisawa, Nagisa Ran, Natsume Sakasaki and Eichi Tenshouin

Cw: suggestive, tbh just detailed backstories (in some cases) before the actual trope of the characters helping reader with their zipper, maybe ooc characters(?), wataru and rinne doing the opposite of this post, (long post 😭) Malice Mizer reference goes hard in Shu’s part 🤭, almost forgot to tag Natsume’s pet name for the reader (kitten) as a warning help-

A/n: hi guys! Sorry for the long break i had on tumblr 😭 kinda lost motivation to post but i’ll try to keep doing this throughout summer vacations now that i have time for it so..yeah! The making out + hcs posts will continue and there’s about 4 left ;i have also received some requests so stay tuned!! (Edit) I FORGOT WATARU ISNT A UNIT LEADER HELP MEEE i mean theres the Träumerei temporary unit in which he was the leader of but still 😭

"Hey babe, can you help me out with this zipper? I can't seem to reach it"

Madara Mikejima

One to always refuse taking you to his ‘missions’. Obviously, he knows some of these missions could cost his life, and taking you to one and for something to possibly happen to you, makes his heart shatter. But, tonight was his lucky day, your 2nd aniversary. Madara had booked a reservation in one of your favorite places. He entered the room with his usual smile, holding your waist before zipping your outfit, kissing your neck

“It looks good, though I think it’d look better on my floor”

Rei Sakuma

You were both running a tad early to one of his concerts in the city, but of course, getting there is all it matters. As soon as he heard you, he went to the other room of his dressing room, lets say a complementary room for it, but anyways; his smile was the highlight of your day, he didn’t mind helping you out, after all, Rei loved it when you trust him in simple things like this. When he finished, he quickly gave you a kiss before speaking

“I’ll always be here whenever you need me to”

Wataru Hibiki

He’s very helpful, well, at most times. He likes to be playful mostly when you need help, in cases were it wasn’t serious, but in this one, he simply smiled as he went towards you and started unzipping the dress

“Uh Wataru? I said i needed help with zipping it..not..the opposite..”

Wataru simply laughed and zipped it, letting you admire yourself for a bit as he wrapped his arms around you

“I couldn’t resist~! You’re just so perfect, I prefer seeing you without it. Your body is a masterpiece, I can’t help but admire it”

Keito Hasumi

He simply goes towards you and helps you out. He’s really not interested in anything else so your attempts to “seduce” him are not going to work so easily. Keito is a very reserved man and doesn’t get bothered at ‘insignificant things’, or does he? This time however, as he made his way towards you, your outfit caught him off guard, it was the one you had worn during your first date after being together for 3 years, he felt himself tear up as he looked at you

“You always look so beautiful in whatever you choose, even without it, your beauty never ceases to amaze me”

Rinne Amagi

Somewhat similar to Wataru’s except…well he’s Rinne, what do you expect? He had suggested a date for all his hard work with Crazy B and the tough week they’ve had, of course, he reserved a decent restaurant down the street, nothing too formal, but still enough to impress. While you were having trouble with the zipper of your clothes, he decided to approach you after your “cry for help” which was just a simple statement for assistance, as Rinne entered the room, he whistled, checking you out and hastily unzipping your outfit

“Rinne..! I said i needed help zipping it, not unzipping and taking it off my body..”

He all but chuckled as he turned you around

“Who said anything about going out? Actually, i might cancel or we do have a bit of time before it, no? I seriously cannot resist you a minute longer, c’mon~! Let’s have some fun, okay?”

Shu Itsuki

He’s used to helping you get into anything he crafts, whether its a dress or a shirt he made thinking about you, he’s used to helping you put your outfits on if they require assistance. This was one of those days where Shu had finished another beautiful creation of his and decided to lend you a hand, zipping it carefully and taking one look in the mirror as he saw you admire yourself once more

“It’s absolutely perfect, you’re perfect. I feel honored having you wear the artworks I’ve created for you..ma chérie”

Chiaki Morisawa

He’s so sweet and helps you even when you don’t require any assistance, he’s just like that. A charming and caring boyfriend like Chiaki always makes sure you’re well, in every aspect. So it’s not rare for him to help you always, this time, when he heard you, he was just around the corner, rushing softly to your shared room and smiling as he saw the outfit, it was one of his favorites. Chiaki placed his hands on your shoulders after helping you out and spoke

“Look! We match! Isn’t that cute? We should get going for our date before it gets late!”

Nagisa Ran

Used to formal attire that requires assistance, especially from their loving partner who Nagisa loves seeing them in such outfits; like today. Nagisa had a rather important event with Eden, and he was allowed to bring a plus one, like usual, and of course he always brings his partner to these. After hearing your call for assistance, Ran didn’t hesitate to go to your shared room, taking in the beautiful outfit you wore as he smiled brightly

“Of course my dear, anything you need me to do..I’ll help you. How about we go for dinner after the event? I’ll make sure to reserve us a nice table ahead”

Natsume Sakasaki

Even though he’s somewhat always focused on his potions and magic stuff, and his unit, Switch on top of that, Natsume cherishes every moment of your relationship to the max, although he would never admit that out loud that is. You’re his comfort zone, his one person to go to whenever he’s feeling down, happy, or anything out of the ordinary. However, it’s not usual for you to request his help, when he entered your room, his flirtatious persona became into a nervous one, the outfit you wore was absolutely stunning, accentuating your features and leaving him breathless. He tried keeping his calm and helped you, thats what he came for after all right?

“Natsume are you alright? You look a bit red..”

He smiled, nodding as he rested a hand on your waist, sighing happily before speaking

“Of course kitten, why wouldn’t I be? It’s nice to see you getting arranged for our date today”

Eichi Tenshouin

Being heir to a very prosperous family and head of the student council had its moments where Eichi was overloaded with tons of responsibility and work. Sometimes getting very sick due to his condition, and he’s glad to have met someone like you to complement his life so positivity. Events like family dinners or special events in general are usual to him, especially with helping you put on one of the many outfits he had bought you for dates or anniversary gifts, even birthday ones. Today was like those other days where you would have romantic dinners or went to an important event. Eichi smiled as he entered his room, watching you struggle a bit with the outfit he had bought you, without thinking twice, he approached you softly, his hands on your back, zipping the outfit slowly. After he was done, Eichi smiled, a genuine one for the first time in a while, as he spoke

“I’m glad to see you ready, shall we get going?”

#ensemble stars x reader #ensemble stars #madara mikejima #madara mikejima x reader #rei sakuma #rei sakuma x reader #wataru hibiki #wataru hibiki x reader #keito hasumi #keito hasumi x reader #rinne amagi #rinne amagi x reader #shu itsuki #shu itsuki x reader #chiaki morisawa #chiaki morisawa x reader #nagisa ran #nagisa ran x reader #natsume sakasaki #natsume sakasaki x reader #eichi tenshouin #eichi tenshouin x reader #MA CHÉRIE ARE YOU MISSING ME???

[son-of-a-ghost]

Care (Jeff the Killer x reader smut)

A/N Yeah, I haven’t written shit to post since early high school and I just graduated college.  This doesn’t make sense, but I had a good time writing it, so I’m sharing it with the void that is Tumblr.  Maybe someone will like it, idk.  

I am also aware that this is bad.  Shush.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Jeff, please!”

You called out, begging for him to slow down, but the killer didn’t slow down.  He kept up his brutal pace, pounding into your pussy with a vigor he usually reserved for murder.  Groans and growls escaped his lips, emanating from his chest.  

“Huh-huh too much!” you whined out again, and this time he snapped up his head to look into your eyes.  Piercing blue eyes clouded with lust stared deep into your soul, wild and out-of-touch with reality.  

Suddenly, it was like a switch flipped and he remembered where he was and who he was with.  He slowed his pace.

“Sorry, love, you just feel so good.  Do you need a break?”  He questioned, panting to regain his breath and composure.

You nodded a response, taking a deep breath of relief when he pulled out of you.  Every muscle ached and you had no idea how long you and him had been at it, you just know that it was becoming too overstimulating.  Jeff straddled your thighs, leaning down to kiss your lips, hands running through your hair to comb out any knots.  

Exhausted, you kiss him back, relaxing into his kisses and touch.  Despite how rough he can be during sex, these moments of kindness and compassion when he realizes he took it too far are part of what keeps bringing you back to his room night after night, begging for him to ravage you.  

Soon, your exhaustion took over your body and you fell asleep, Jeff still kissing your lips until he realized you were asleep.  He moved off your body to hold you while you slept, pulling a blanket up over both of you.  Subconsciously, you snuggled closer to him and he smiled; a real smile.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next night, Jeff wasn’t surprised to once again hear a quiet tapping at his door.  He already knew you were behind it, but what he wasn’t ready to see was instead of you being extremely turned on and needing him, your face was instead streaked with tears and you sniffled.

“What’s up?” he tried to casually say, but the concern colored his voice more than he would have liked to let on as he opened the door further to let you in.  

“LJ is a goddamn jerk, that’s what’s up,” you sniffled again.  

“He fucking stole my rabbit stuffed animal, and yeah, I know it’s so stupid to have it but forgive me that I have something from my childhood before this fucking place.  And he won’t give it back!”  Anger filled your voice as you relayed this short story to Jeff, plopping yourself onto his bed.  

He was a little stunned.  You had never come to him with a problem before.  Usually he saw you as a confident person who wasn’t afraid of any of the weirdos and demons that called the forest home.  Yet, here you sat in his bedroom, crying over a stuffed animal.  He was unsure of what to do, but what he did know was that this was something serious.  And he wasn't very good with seriousness.  

“Uh… uhm, do you want me to get you a new one?”  Jeff offered awkwardly.  In response, you wrapped your arms around yourself and hugged yourself.  A sniffle escaped your nose, followed by a quiet, “No.”  

Jeff walked to his bed and cautiously sat down next to you.  “Why can’t you get it back?  You’ve never been afraid of any of us before.”  

“I’m not fucking scared, I just can’t find it in LJ’s stupid carnival.  It could be anywhere.”  

Jeff felt the anger building in his chest that LJ had done something that had upset y/n so much.  He stood wordlessly and began walking towards the door.  “Wait, where are you going?” you called after him.  “Out,” was his one word response.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat in your room alone, watching the tree line outside the house for any animals.  You couldn’t sleep, you were still riled up from the events of the day and couldn’t stand the thought of trying to sleep without your stuffed rabbit.  Another sniffle held back another round of tears.  

Tap, tap, tap…

A light knocking sounded from your door.  You debated not answering it; you didn’t really want to see anyone right now.  But when the knocking came again, a little louder, you moved to open the door.  

Standing outside was Jeff, a little bloody, but gently carrying something behind his back.  Wordlessly, he revealed what he had been hiding.  

Your rabbit!

A huge smile overtook your face as you grabbed it and held it to your face.  It didn’t smell quite right anymore, but it was definitely your stuffed rabbit.  After hugging the rabbit, you hugged Jeff with an intensity he had never experienced from you.  

“Thank you,” you whispered into his ear.  

“No problem,” was his muffled response as he buried his face into your neck.  

This hug didn’t end quickly, and soon Jeff began kissing your throat, leaving nips where he knew your sensitive spots were.  You whined softly each time.  

Releasing him, you made eye contact with him and dragged him backwards into your room.  He shut the door behind him, especially as his dick started to swell and he could feel your heart rate pick up.  

Inside your room, you paused his advances to put your stuffed rabbit on a chair, off the bed.  You didn’t want your precious stuffed animal to be anywhere near the two of you while you were being ~intimate.~

Jeff grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him when you turned around, kissing you roughly.  You giggled.

“You didn’t rescue my rabbit to get in my pants, did you?”  You questioned him.  

“Of course not,” Jeff laughed back.  “I did it because I care for you and this is something you were upset about.  I knew it meant a lot to you.”  

“...you care for me?”  You repeated.  “You’ve never said that before.”  

“Oh.  You think I let you into my room every night and let you sleep in my bed with my blankets and I don’t care about you?”  He questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

“I guess… yeah, that is what I kind of thought.”  

He shook his head.  “If I didn’t care about you, I would at the least kick you out of my room after I was done fucking your brains out.  Or leave you high and dry.”  

You whined, pouting.  “Ah, shush, I wouldn’t do that to you,” he responded to your pouting.  “Now, lay down.  I need you,” he commanded, pushing you towards the bed.  You laid down, giggling the whole time.  

#smut #Jeff the killer #jtk #reader smut #x reader smut #Jeff the killer x reader smut #Jeff the killer x reader #creepypasta #creepy pasta smut #creepypasta smut

[lynaferns]

BIOMáquina: Sense of Living

Chapter 1: Stranger danger.

Ver. [ENGLISH / ESPAÑOL]

The first meeting! In a world where humanity has confined themselves in encapsulated cities to let the outside world heal, our protagonist, Fern, breaks into the forgotten abandoment facility of Fazbear CO. in search for old materials and scrap to sell. But something's very off with this place, like the constant rotting smell that's in the air... (No, it's not Afton, there's no Afton in this AU, this is very DCA centered).

I have to mention, I never had the intention of writing this. But after I finished reading I see you, Sundrop! by @shirajellyfish (Thank you again @/cipher-the-sidhe for recommending it to me! I'm too shy to tag I want to cry EDIT: it's tagged now) I got motivated to write the first chapter of my AU and doing it my way. The early version of my BIOMáquina Sun may have some inspirations from ISYS's Sundrop, but I plan for him to develop by the end of the story into something more close to canon. Sassy, not the mean sassy tho.

I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. I think I did fine but still, I'm not a native speaker, some parts may be weirdly worded. I'll be posting the Spanish version too, so you can judge my writing in two lenguages.

AU, DCA centered (but Moon doesn't get mentioned in this chapter) ...and mostly Sun centered too, Sun fnaf, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (probably), OC is a potty mouth, Sun has amnesia, nonbinary/pangender Main Character, labs and abandonment facility, retrofuturistic world, steam/dieselpunk themed.

The first post where I showed this AU and Sun and Moon's designs. There's info about the world and characters, not necessary to enjoy the story but maybe you want an idea about this AU.

BIOMáquina AU Tumblr archive, with all the posts and asks.

Youtube Playlist wich has like half of Portal's ost. I have a especific order for the songs but you can put it on mix if you want.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers so I'm putting here the warnings just in case. Please tell me if it needs any additional tag.

TW: implied death, near death experiences, implied abuse (non sexual), panic/anxiety, paranoia, robot gore, violence.

Wordcount: 12,874

06:23 Thursday, Weather: clear.

It's been a long time since anyone has been here. The place has been reclaimed by nature over time, not completely consumed but enough to assume that it has been around a decade without any humans moving around.

Until today.

A small hovercraft vehicle is approaching in the distance. Today, instead of their usual destination, Fern decided to take another route and explore a little. She heads to the building she has seen in the distance. The abandoned facilities of Fazbear CO. She shouldn't be snooping around an abandoned building, much less one that seems to have been totally forgotten by the world, but Fern already had experience in breaking into dangerous and abandoned places, so it was okay (no, it was not).

She looks at the place for a while before parking their vehicle. A thought of 'Why not?' incites them to enter, and that's what she does. After struggling with the entrance locks she manages to open the doors. It looks like an automatic door but with a manual system for when the power is out, it's a pretty old design. The door stays open.

06:39

Fern enters inside, it's all dark, the only light being the one that comes through the door. She always carries their backpack loaded with all the basics she needs for when he goes out for materials (trash) or exploration (for more trash). She takes out a flashlight and inspects the place. She notices that next to them is an old robot disconnected and degraded by the passage of time, possibly unable to turn back on. It seems that this bot was in charge of guarding the entrance.

Advancing through the abandoned facility, Fern finds more disconnected bots. She's not with the right equipment to dismantle them and take their valuable parts, if there is anything salvageable from these robots. She makes mental notes and keeps going. The place is worse on the inside than the outside, somehow the dirt and weeds have managed to get in and grow in the most random places.

She finds a guide map of the place, it appears to be larger on the inside than it looks from the outside, much larger than one would expect. There are four upper floors and six lower ones, the upper floors makes a circumference leaving an empty space in the center, they are factory and assembly areas for bots/animatronics, tools, electronic devices... all equipment from the Fazbear brand, they have always made their own material. On the ground floor (L0) where Fern is, it seems to be the unloading area, cargo transport vehicles, offices and power generator on the upper floors. The first two lower floors appear to be more offices, boiler room, power generator room for the lower floors, laboratories, and... another animatronic assembly area.

...The last four floors are blurred out but you can read the words 'AI testing'. Did the test rooms have to be that far down? And why 4 entire floors of the building?

There is an annotation:

Authorized personnel only. Any unauthorized personnel who passes from the restricted area will be subject to a dismissal sanction.

Oho... now Fern wanted to go in there. Why would they hide that part? What do they have to hide? Knowing the company Fazbear Entertainment, a lot. It would be cool to be one of the few people to know what's down there, even if it remains as secret as before because Fern doesn't want to be reported or arrested, leaving the city without permission is already a reason for that. But before going to the deeper floors, better take a quick look at the upper ones first, their nature makes them want to keep an order to explore the place in the most efficient way (that she can think of).

As the map said, everything up there is material and assembly, some rooms even have narrow windows that let in some light through their gaps at the top of the wall... where you can't look outside, but at least they had some natural light in their work areas, those who worked up here at least... Fern looks around, it's a mess, there are papers and metals scattered on the floor... It seems that some of them left in a hurry, due to the misplaced chairs and tables... Fern makes a mental note to stop by again and take a better look at the old tools before heading home.

Hm? The central area hasn't been seen. Fern assumed that the part surrounded by the building would be visible from a window or that there would be an entrance to a flat area, but there appears to be none. Why would they waste so much space? Or maybe they weren't wasting it. Maybe there was something else there but it was inaccessible from the surface floors.

Fern didn't waste another moment to get down to the lower levels. The power generators seemed out of order, she wasn't going to be able to use the elevators. She wasn't planning on it either, They may possibly collapse over the time they have been sitting there without maintenance. What she planned was to save flashlight power if the generator could light the way. Oh well. Maybe the other generator on the lower floors is still functional.

...

It's not. Well, she had to try it. Fern would have felt stupid if the generator would had worked and by simply not checking she would have wasted the flashlight battery foolishly. Exploring the floor a bit more before continuing down she finds a small kitchen room. Oh? Was there a kitchen on the map? Fern doesn't remember, she should have taken a photo of the map now that she stops to think about it. There should be at least one map on each floor, she'll take a photo of the next one she sees.

Going down the stairs she finds the assembly rooms and laboratory that seems more advanced than the upper levels. These looks a little less messy than the previous floors. It's still noticeable that people left in a hurry, leaving the chairs and tables in any position and dropping objects along the way, but it seems that at least they cared about storing hazardous materials in the closets, all messy but at least not exposed... some doors aren't even closed properly- look, I'd better shut up and continue.

07:12

She finally reaches the end of the floor. There are no more stairs, just an elevator that takes to the restricted area (floors: L3, L4, L5 and L6), which means she needs the generator running... or... she can force their way through the elevator doors with a crowbar... opening the emergency hatch... and slipping through the gap between the elevator and the wall, which is conveniently one of those old-fashioned designs with bar steps on the wall (Nowadays these spaces are not left unless the elevator is very large and/or has been built with plenty of space). She goes down the wall stairs to the next floor which is also closed, so she has to force the elevator's security doors again. This time it's more complicated, she has to force the door without having a supporting floor since all there is is the circular wall, the beams that support the elevator structure and the void of the pit. Fern hangs from a beam near the door, digs the crowbar between the two doors with their feet, presses against the crowbar using their legs, and pushes their way through. After opening the doors enough, the crowbar slips from between their feet and falls into the pit. Fern watches as it falls, pressing their lips, and waits for the *clinggg* sound it makes when it reaches the bottom, '...hhhhhah, I'll have to go down for it later' she thinks.

After forcing the door a little more with their hands, just enough to pass through, she is finally inside, on level L3. Oh! And the first thing she sees is a complete map, good! She can take a photo with their phone so she won't get lost. From what it seems, this map reveals that there is indeed a central area of the facilities in use. For some reason to access the center of the building you have to go down to the deepest floors and from another elevator go up to the central area... weird. The design of the facility seems made to keep something as far away from the outside as possible, with all these turns and different elevators that they make you take to get to a place that would be so easy to access if only they had put one or two doors in the ground floor or upper. There was definitely something there, Fern had no doubt, maybe she was theorizing too much and it was just a strange design choice, but what a strange design choice, there is something there for sure and Fern was going there.

According to the map, the four lowest floors contain... a good bunch of animatronic storage cells, wow. Wait, now that she stops to take a closer look, that's a lot of cells. There are three or four larger rooms compared to the rest, 'daycare', it says. ...Fern didn't like the implications of that, she didn't like seeing the cells, daycares and laboratories so close to each other. If this is what's in the first restricted floors to the unauthorized, what could be deeper? For God's sake, what did they do with the children?

Fazbear Entertainment's animatronics were made specifically to deal with children despite their questionable AI performance. The daycares could have been to test how the animatronics behave with real children, okay, but why three entire daycares on the same floor? And there are at least two more on the floor above. It would be better understood if there were only assembly and repair rooms next to the cells, but laboratories... right in front of the daycares? Shady, very shady. Don't like it, don't like it a bit.

The lower floors are more littered with broken robots than the ones above. Somehow the place is more in ruins than the surface floors, which are more exposed to the outside. But the doors seem to have higher security with card readers, some broken, not all but they seem to be able to open. Going down the stairs to the L4th floor she began to see a different bot design half-assembled, this could be an animatronic design they were working on. On this floor she only sees half-assembled endoskeleton pieces and blueprints for said robot along with promotional posters of a daycare mascot... with a... Sun...? theme. Orange, yellow and red shades.

Fern approaches one of the blueprints, 'DaCaAtt/ProtoType_Model_N15', the N15 has been underlined several times in red and there are notes all over the blueprints. It's... a clown animatronic- rather a jester, with an astral theme? The head seems to represent a sun with the right half of its face being a crescent moon, as in those representations of the sun and the moon together, the moon looking sideways and the sun facing the front... only that, here it's like they have merged two faces into one, leaving the nose crooked to the side. All the unfinished endoskeletons seem to belong to this model. It is a somewhat extra complicated design, it has a lot of joints, especially in the face, seems like they wanted to go further with this design.

It seemed a little much to Fern for a children's animatronic daycare attendant. She understood that they were trying to make him look like the friendly mascot on the poster, but Fern could come up with a couple of ideas to simplify the design of the face: a screen with facial animations, for example. And why so much complexity in the robots interior? The more she looked at the blueprints, the more it seemed to them that she was looking at a disproportionate recreation of the human skeleton in metal. She continued advancing through the facilities until she found the next stairs to floor L5.

...At the bottom of the flight of stairs is a disconnected animatronic- rather broken, it's the sun. It seemed to be crawling up the stairs... its legs and the back of its head were busted, as if they had tried to stop it from going any further by hitting it with something. Peeking through the hallways, Fern finds more sun animatronics lying on the way or against the wall, damaged, some are whole, others missing chunks or entire limbs. She touches one of the robot bodies with their foot, it doesn't move, as expected. There is a gray cord and a piece of plastic sticking out from under the animatronic's hand, Fern uses their foot again to pull the cord out from under the hand. It's a torn, stained and mauled ID card, the string is broken as if it had been torn from something, neither the photo nor the name of the former owner can be identified. It's Fern's now. She should keep their eyes open in case of seeing more cards in better condition, if she can get the generators working she could open their way to more places. If they were to be useful.

Moving down the hallway she stops to look at the poses in which the animatronics were turned off; some of them have their faces intact enough to see an expression of terror them. None of them seemed to be going in a specific direction, just... running away. They were afraid. How advanced was their AI to simulate fear? Weren't they prototypes? No developed AI is put into robot prototypes, although well, that is a recent norm in robotics, who knows how old this place is.

Now that she realizes, there is a fairly dominant smell in the air since she came down the elevator. Fern thought it came from the labs and assembly rooms, because of the old metals and chemicals, but it has gotten stronger as she goes. Like something rotten mixed with rust and motor oil.

Fern is starting to think that she would like a friend to explore this place with. The deeper she goes, the more uneasy the place gets, and the more noticeable is the lack of fresh air.

She checks out the map, from the path she has taken it seems that she is approaching one of the daycares. Where the entrance should be there is a handful of sun animatronics in a pile blocking the door that's full of scratches and bumps. It seems that they tried to force it open, you can see the desperation in the wear and tear on their hands.

Hopelessness.

It's the word that best fits seeing this situation.

Fern feels a chill run down their spine and their stomach turns. She continues forward. More animatronic bodies disconnected or destroyed, there were almost no animatronics in the storage cells, they had all tried to escape. Upon reaching the floor L6, the number of robot bodies lying around seems to decrease. It seems that they were all already stored in their chambers, or they managed to get them in and disconect them before panic set in... or revealed themselves. No, this didn't look like robot rebellion. Maybe they found out something, a rumor that got out of hand? Maybe they found out that they were going to disconnect them forever and they panicked... Fern wouldn't blame them.

Peeking through the glass of one of the cells she could see a group of sun animatronics, all in their respective cabins on the wall, connected by a head cable. Some are standing leaning against one of the walls of their cabin, have a safety belt holding them in place, others are sitting on a seat in the cabin, and others are directly sitting on the floor. They are disconnected, turned off, obviously. The floor is padded with colorful sections and there are old pillows and stuffed animals on the floor. The rest of the chambers are the same, some with empty spaces. The number of animatronics lying on the floor in panic positions is less, rather they are sitting against the wall or simply lying on the floor in a more peaceful way. They either gave up or were somehow convinced to shut down.

07:38

Finally Fern reaches the elevator that takes you to the center of the facility. This elevator is more hidden than the rest and appears to be more advanced, Fern didn't seem to know if it was going to be as easy to open as the rest... ah- wait- their crowbar. She has forgotten to go look for their crowbar, which is at the bottom of the second elevator's pit... and to go look for it she would have to go back upstairs and down the stairs of the pit because she can't open the doors from the lowest floor as she had planned because she doesn't have their crowbar.

Fern.

You're stupid, man.

“Aaaaaggh...” she groans, looking up to the ceiling. She sighs. Before leaving the room she looks around to see if there is anything that could be used to force the doors and their eyes fall on the elevator again, it has a light. Wait, it has light? It can't be, the generators don't work. Unless there is a third generator for this elevator... She approaches the button panel, indeed, the lights above glow slightly, but how is it functioning? The entire place should be shut down. She decides to press the button just to try it out and a few seconds later the doors open, the light from inside illuminating the room along with Fern's flashlight.

Even though it seems to work, Fern didn't like the idea of using it. The elevator that took her to the lower floors was as dangerous as the others but at least she didn't had to use it to get down (Although it could have perfectly fallen as soon as you stepped foot inside, you idiot), but this one she was going to have to use it to open the doors to the next floor unless she finds something to use as a crowbar. However, this elevator did seem to be in better condition than the other. Maybe if she only made it go up one floor she could access the rest of the place from there.

Fern walks into the elevator. The floors available from bottom to top are: L6, LC2, LC1, C0, C1, C2, C3 and C4, there are no Lows 5, 4 and 3, C it'll be for “Center” just as L is for “Low”. She hesitates before pressing the button for LC2, a few seconds and the doors close, the elevator makes some screeching noises as machinery that hasn't moved for a long time starts working again until it suddenly begins to ascend. It moves non-stop, the noise it makes is worrying but it doesn't stop. As fast as the doors open, Fern crosses them and turns to the elevator, waiting for it to collapse and fall back to the bottom. It doesn't, the doors just close after a few seconds. If while she's at another part of the building she hears a crash noise in the distance, Fern will assume that the elevator has fallen and therefore will have to look for something that can be used as a crowbar.

For some reason there's no map of this part of the facility. There has always been one right out of the elevator or down the stairs, but this place doesn't have one. Weird, maybe all the employees in this area had their own? Or they knew it by heart. No, the first thing makes more sense.

Moving through the hallways, laboratory rooms, assembly rooms, etc, the floors seem to be the same as those already visited, but more advanced? The walls and doors are of higher quality and security, and the laboratory equipment, tools and others seem to be of the good-good ones... and expensive, but good, and quality. The central floors seem to be the only ones with electricity, partially, not all the lights are on and some of the ones that are are blinking. 'I hope none explode-' she thought to themselves. Immediately afterwards, a security door begins to open and close uncontrollably, giving Fern a start “AH-!” After the scare she takes a breath while the door begins to move slower and finally stops halfway open. The doors here must have a sensor or something, it must have been activated by proximity, is the card still functional? She takes it out of their pocket and passes it near the door trying to find the sensor. The door reacts but doesn't close or open completely.

Fern grabs one of the disconnected 'Staff' bots down the hallway and drags it to the door, blocking it in case it moves again and gets locked inside. It's an archive office, there are papers and file cabinets scattered on the floor. A ceiling panel fell on some filing cabinets and knocked everything to the floor. Fern glances vaguely over them, some papers seem to be records of laboratory materials and ingredients. Emphasizes, seems, because Fern doesn't understand the technical and convoluted language in which they are written, whoever worked here the guy's writing was embarrassing, they keep repeating the same elements all over the page in horrible handwriting. She doesn't see anything of value in the office so she leaves to continue moving through the maze of poorly iluminated hallways and malfunctioning doors.

08:10

Fern has been wandering around the facilities for quite a while now. Most of the doors are bolted shut and can't be opened (if a certain someone had gone back a few floors to get their crowbar...), next time Fern comes she'll bring suitable spare tools to open them. Although, is it worth going that far to get some pieces of metal? With what's on the first floors should be enough to renew tools and equipment, and make a good profit in the market. She wasn't into science so she didn't know what valuable objects she could take from the labs. She could look into it later, when she's done looking into what's here first.

The closer she gets to the center, the more the hallways light up, to the point that Fern no longer needs her flashlight and turns it off, for now. There are liquids running down the walls and dripping from cracks in the ceiling. Curiously, there are fewer marks of humidity than one would imagine; the leaks did not form long ago. The doors here seem to be in better condition than the ones before, possibly they are more complicated to open if this area has electricity and they are working better than the one before. She might have to see if she finds any more abandoned cards lying around.

This area is more open... and the wall appears to curve. There is a... castle door?? Like the ones you would see in cartoons or children's tales, with a crown of sunrays as the door frame. It's not made of wood, but it is some kind of hard material that Fern can't identify. There is a card reader panel next to the frame. A light comes out from between the doors crack.

...

Is this the center?

Fern grabs one of the door handles and pulls it. She hears a sound like rails moving inside as she opens the doors. What's on the other side has to be the strangest, largest room she's seen since she entered the building. Most of the floor is padded and colorful except for the entrance and a few more square meters of flooring which is tiled in a checkerboard pattern. Where there floor is tiled, there are security tables with computers, machines of some kind and office supplies. Where the floor is padded there are children's playground structures, jungle gyms, with tubes, slides, ball pits... Above the ball pit there's a fairy-tale like tower on the wall with a balcony, red curtains cover the entrance. No idea how to get there, there must be access from somewhere else. On the floor there're boxes of toys and stuffed animals... broken, but organized by size and color, it seems, some colorful cylindrical boxes are placed in a tower. Only what's on the play area seems tidy, everything beyond the padded floor is noticeably dirty, messy, basically a mess. The ceiling lights seem to come out of beams and are shaped like clouds, not all of them are on, some flicker. At the center of it all is a tower of cables that rises until it's lost above the lights in the darkness of the ceiling.

Fern enters the room, still observing the place. Although the gigantic column of cables and tubes in the center catches their attention, their interest falls on the computers next to them. The screens are on but they don't show anything, just a solid cyan blue color and some horizontal lines crossing the screen every now and then. The computers may be broken but there could be a possibility to repair them or take out the parts and put them to use... or even sell them as antiques.

...

Fern feels watched. She looks up from the machines to the play structures. A screech of moving rails. She sees nothing. She leaves the computers aside and approaches the play area. Another rail sound. Fern turns to look at where the sound came from. Behind the cable tower. Fern takes out a jackknife from their pocket and proceeds to circle the tower. Another screech. Accompanied by another noise coming from the ball pit. Fern approaches. There is a row of cables coming out of the tower and entering the pit. Uuuum, ok...?? weird... She steps on the bridge that comes out of the pit, without entering she leans to looks over it.

It could have just been a rat but Fern tried calling “Is anyone there?” knife in hand “Hello-?”

“HeEEEL-” A tall, disproportionate, slim figure suddenly emerges from the ball pit accompanied by the tinkling of bells, sending several balls flying, creating a rain around it, some balls falling out of the pit. It's arms extended in the air in salutation and a huge smile on it's face with crooked teeth. Some 'sunrays' in the shape of elongated orange triangles stuck out around it's head. “-LO!” A sun animatronic.

“AAAH-!” Fern screamed, backing up. The robot froze in the pose and the noises of a processor running could be heard, smile not leaving it's face, white eyes fixed on Fern, it only made a couple of movements that stopped abruptly halfway through as if it had paused and resumed its animation. It must not have registered their reaction, because it continued talking as if Fern hadn't screamed in shock.

“-N-new friend-? Oh-o-OH- Are you new-?! FRIE-NEW FRI-” *SCRRRR SCRRA SCRRRGGGH KKKKRRR* It froze again while something in his internal system made a noise that sounded like 'something's wrong' and it continued again as if nothing had happened “Who are you-?! I can't find your profile-! -Do you have a profile??? Have you come to play!? Have you come for the manteinence routin-? Are you a new technic-!? Can we play NOW!? We can-! You're not on the employee register-! You need a register-!”

Its arms were stretching out towards Fern trying to reach her. Fern backed away, trying to keep as much space as possible between them and the robot. It kept getting closer, without stopping smiling, without stopping penetrating them with its gaze, without blinking.

“-profile- you need a-! You cannot perform any procedures- or manipulate- any- *srsrsrrsrsrsrsrsrrckrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrk* fromtheFAzbear'sbrand- *krkrkrkrkrkrnnnnnnnnnnrr* Do I make you a profile!? You need a-” Its fan started to sound very loudly “How were you able to enter- without a profile-!??? Do you work here? How did you get in-!? What are you doing here-!?” Fern hit her back against the cable tower and raised their knife to put distance between the damaged robot and them “DETECTED: DANGEROUS OBJECT, IS THAT A WEAPON!? *VRRRRRRRRR*” A panicked expression replaced its smile, its fan getting louder and louder “YOU CAN'T BRING THAT HERE! YOU CA- YOU CAN'T- YOU- *krkrkrkrkrkr* THE RUL- *krkrkrNNNNNNNNNGGGH* AG-AGAINST TH- *NNNNNNNNNGNNGNGGNGN-* DAN-GRROS-” It stopped forming coherent sentences and began to blurt out half-cut words amid the noise of the processor overheating.

Despite the clear problems it was experiencing, its movements didn't stop, getting closer and closer. A robotic hand reached out to grab Fern's arm, planning to take the weapon from her. Fern waved their knife away from its hand and finally broke into a run.

“AH-! eeeh-eh-e...! WAIT” The sun shouted as Fern fled towards the doors “Why are you running!? Where are you going-!? NO- WAIT- waitwaitwaitwait!” It ran after them. Fern left the play area and rushed through the doors. “WAIT-come back- I'm so...” She crossed the hallways like a bullet, ignoring the screams that became progressively quieter. She didn't realize she had left it behind until she could no longer hear it and the hallways were dark again.

Fern finally stopped to catch their breath, looking back to make sure she had left it behind. Vocalizing between pants “What... th...e fuck...? ...what...the fuck? God... what the... shit was... that...?” She sat down against a wall to rest. She hadn't realized that she had been gripping the knife tightly in their hand and now it was a little sore, if it weren't for the gloves she would have seen their knuckles white.

08:48

It's been a while. After calming down and drinking some water, Fern decides to go back to see what is happening with the sun and why it's the only active animatronic (seen so far) in the whole place. Thinking about it, it surely didn't want to scare them, possibly. It has been abandoned here for a long time, it's normal for it to be damaged. If its processor is salvageable and its AI gets a fix or two she could use it for help. But if that were the case, what should she do? She can't leave a robot with autonomy abandoned, much less in these ruins, part of Fern would feel bad but she can't take it with them. Where would she put it? Where would she take it?

That seems like a problem for future Fern.

It will be best to keep the knife, and possibly any type of weapon away. There was a lot of movement and noise at that moment but Fern believes she remembers a slight change in the robot's behavior when it discovered the knife. More erratic, more anxious, it couldn't even formulate complete words. Maybe if she went calmly and manages to calm the robot down, she could talk to it and find out what happened here. And why it is active.

She's arriving at the castle-like doors again. They're open, just like Fern left them. The robot could have gotten out and be hanging around the building, but something was telling Fern that wasn't the case. Slowly, without making a sound, she approaches the doors and peeps from the entrance, their eyes scan the room but don'tt find the sun. Fern decides to go in, thinks about calling it but backs away when she hears the screak and the rails again. If that sound came from it then it was still here.

...

Fern decides to go into the room. She wanted to prove a theory and for that she needed it to appear, and something was telling them that if she stayed at the door it wasn't going to appear. She puts one foot on the padded floor. Nothing's heard. She goes further into the playing area, the loose cables that entered the ball pit are no longer there, possibly they are connected to the robot so the logical thing would be to look for where they've gone. Starting from the central tower, the cables seem to go behind the play structure, Fern approaches to follow the line of cables.

*creeek*

A squeak. Fern turns around. Another screech. It came from the tower. Looking around she notices that the cables comes out of the play structure and disappear behind the tower. Fern approaches, circling the tower slowly, cautiously, following the cables. A metallic hand grabs their shoulder. “You are... here...”

“AACK-!” Fern screamed as she jerked the hand off their shoulder and ran towards the doors.

“No, wait, not again!” Fern leaves the room and turns to look inside holding the doors, ready to close them. But it seems it won't be necessary.

The robot has not moved past the padded floor. It looks at the tiled floor in front of them with concern, its posture is hunched as if it doesn't know what to do from that point or something bad will happen if it steps on a tile. Its arms curled against its chest, it clutches the red ribbons hanging from its wrists. Its eyes alternating between looking at Fern and the ground until it finally decides to speak.

“a...a-...y- You are here!” It says with joy, extending its arms and putting on a smile again, forced... no, genuine? “You are here again! ...a- I-I- was- you- *skrrrrrrrrr kr kr kr* You're back! And you are here and you are back and I thought you wouldn't come back and-!” it gesticulates very widely “-and-and- I'm sorry- sorry I scared you- TWICE!” emphasizes by pulling out two fingers of its hand “I'm sorry... it's just that- I haven't seen anyone in a long time! Or talked to someone! Or touched! And I was SO EXCITED! B-because you were there! And I touched you! And you were there! And I-! *skr...skr...skr...skr...* And I thought you weren't coming back! ...I thought you weren't going to come back.” Its shoulders droop and its body loses all movement, it stares at the ground, muttering. “And then I thought I scared away my new friend and they weren't coming back. But then I heard footsteps! And I felt something! And it was you! And I'm so happy! *sKNNNGNGnnn...*” It stands still again, with a somewhat creepy smile and its gaze fixed on Fern.

Fern remained silent. She doesn't really know how to react after having heard all that. The only thing that was going through their mind was that this robot showed autonomy and clear signs of stress, anxiety and loneliness. She can't leave it here but she also doesn't know if they could be dangerous or if it's just very hyperactive. They are clearly disturbed. Now that Fern noticed, one hand was more skeletal than the other, the entire casing of its left arm was missing and the ribbon was tied poorly with its bell. Parts of its endoskeleton were exposed, their casing was damaged in many places, and their jester's clothes were not much better either. The red and yellow striped pants were torn, the left leg open by a gap that ran from the bottom to top, an adhesive tape near the groin prevented the gap from spreading further, it appeared that the pants were held in place by a belt that didn't belong to the costume. The cables coming from the central tower and scattered across the floor seemed to end at the back of his head.

The sun began to look nervously between Fern and the floor again “H-ey- a- cou... c-could you come closer?” Its posture shrinks again, hands against its chest.

“...What?”

“Could you come closer? P-p-please?”

“...” Fern glances at the floor, at the robot's feet, and then at them “...You can't step on the tiled floor, can you?” The sun lost its smile and looked down at the ground, after a few seconds they nodded its head.

It looked back at Fern “I...can't. I-it's off limits. I can't." The forced smile returned “B-but you can come closer, could you come closer? Please…?”

“No.” Fern truly wasn't planning on doing so.

“Ack-! *knnnnnnnnn skrskrskrskr* W-w-w-why?!?”

“I'm just fine here, I think I'm going to stay at the door.” She said as she let go of the handles and sat on the floor crossing their legs “Besides, I don't want you grabbing me again.”

“I didn't grab you! I didn't!” They made a gesture with its hand, replicating the motion they made when they touched Fern earlier “I only touched your shoulder! I placed my hand on your shoulder!” Did it really only placed its hand on their shoulder? It happened not long ago, Fern remembers feeling more pressure than necessary. She could still feel the metal fingers digging into their right shoulder.

“Yeah... I don't remember it that way.” Fern put their hand on their shoulder “You've been trying to get your hands on me ever since you saw me.” The sun was about to open its mouth to say something but they backed out *kknnnnnnnnnnn* it seemed to be thinking in what to respond, it looked tense. Fern was also thinking about what she could do to calm them down so she could get closer, but it seemed that at the slightest chance she'll have it near it was going to pounce on them (And for your information, Fern, your attitude isn't helping either).

“You shouldn't sit on the floor.” the sun said.

“Eh?”

“*skr skr* I-it's not good *skrrr* that you're sitting on the floor. You're go-o-oing to hurt yourself, why don't you *skrrrrrrrr* sit here in the play area? The floor is softer, that would be better...” Fern frowned at them “O-o-or-” The sun looked around, pointed to the desks where Fern was looking at the computers earlier “-you could use one of the office chairs, where the security desks!” It smiled, its smile seemed more sincere this time “You don't have authorization to be there! But...” It glanced nervously at the chairs, then at Fern “It won't hurt to use it for a bit! Until the security guards come... But I won't tell anyone! Word!” It held up its hand as a promise gesture “Just, don't touch anything... they get really angry when people touch something, and then they yell at me...”

“No, I'm fine, thank you.” That chair was worse than the floor, and Fern didn't want to move away from the door. A *skrrrrrrrrrnnnnnn knnn knnn krkrkrkr* was heard from the robot, she didn't like that. The sun started looking between Fern and the chair again, finally ended up staring at the floor. The way it let its 'rays' fall was reminiscent of the ears of a saddened animal “...” “Hey.”

“Huh?” It raised its 'rays' again expectantly.

“Why don't you sit down? ...so we are both sitting.” Fern said trying to make the situation less awkward. It occurred to them that if they were both at the same height it would ease the atmosphere a little.

“...I don't need to- *Knnnnnnn skrskr* ...-Okay! Yeah, yes, okay...” It slowly knelt on the floor. It looked at Fern and then returned its gaze to the floor. “...” “I'm sorry...” It apologized again “I'm sorry, I know I scared you and that you don't trust me and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry.” It clenched the fabric of the pants where the scuff marks met with its fingers, its shoulders shrinked “...Please don't go.”

“Nah, I'm too lazy to get up now.” She said in another attempt to convince him she was staying to reassure him.

“Please don't go…” It repeated. They sounded like they were about to cry.

“... I'm not going anywhere.” She tried again, leaning back and supporting their weight on their hands. “...Word.” Fern imitated the hand gesture the robot made earlier, as a promise.

*Knnnnnnnnnnn* The sun stared at Fern's hand, then at them. “Are... you're staying?”

“Yes, I'm staying.” Fern looked to the side, thinking. She looked back at the robot “...For a while. Until I have to leave.”

“*knnnnnnn* When will you leave?”

“Eh... possibly within a few hours. So... yeah, we can talk.” (For my mother's love Fern, my child, you sweet summer child, more cheer.)

*skr- skr- skr- knnnnnnn* The sun seemed to be processing the information. Fern looked at them expecting them to start talking at any moment.

...There was silence for a minute. Fern decided to speak.

“So what's your name?”

“What's your name?” They said practically at the same time.

“Ah-”

“Oh- *skr skr skr*.”

Fern gestured for them to start first.

“I- a- *knnnnnn knnnnn knnnnn knnnnn* n-no, you can go first!” The robot said, with a constant *knnnnn* sound.

“Um, okay. My name's Fern, you?”

A *kr kr* interrupted the previous sound and only *knnnnnnn* could be heard again. It was silent for a bit. Then it decided to speak “Fern! Oh, that's a very nice name! It fits you, yes... *sk sk knnnnnn* Hey, hey, Fern...! What do you like to do-? What do you like to play? Your favorite color-?!”

“Hold on, hold on! Are you going to tell me your name or am I going to be left without knowing?”

“Um... *skr skr skr* one... *knnnnnnnn* one moment-” Again that *knnnnn*, another minute in silence “...” “Oh! Hey, hey! Do you like puppet shows? I'm very good at making them! Or I can teach you how to make puppets if you want-!”

“What I would like is knowing what to call you. Don't... you know it's rude to ask someone's name and then not introduce yourself?” She said trying to pressure them into saying its name.

“Oh! *skr skr* My name! *skr* Yes, my name!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“*skr... skr... skr... skr... skr...*”

“E-”

“Do you like painting?! I can get some paints and papers and we can paint together-!

“Your name! How can I call you?”

“Oh-! ah... You can call me whatever you want!” They said as it adjusted its posture, sitting crossing its legs like Fern “You can use a nickname, or nicknames! If you like, I love nicknames! Do you like nicknames? Do you want a nickname? Do I give you a nickname-?! Okay!” They put its hand on its chin, thinking “Let's see...”

“You don't know your name, do you?”

“ng... *sknnnnnnnnnn*” Its head twitched and it froze in the posture looking to the side. Some fans began to make sound “nn... i...k...kno...i... I-I-I- I know! It's- It's here! Here! In my sys-! *skgghghrghrghrrrr* -TEeem... eh... ah...” It looked confused, its eyes move as if it was reading something in the air “I...” Its shoulders slump in disappointment, whatever it was searching for in its system they couldn't seem to find it “I can't...” murmurs.

“...Can you tell me your code? The name of your model I mean.”

*skgkg-* “...” “I cannot give that type of information to unauthorized personnel or not employed by Fazbear Entertainent.” It said in a monotone voice. “...” “It makes no sense as a name anyways,” it laughed “it's boring and hard to pronounce.”

“Don't you have a name they used to call you by here?”

“Um...” It's fans started up again.

“...” Fern remembers seeing something written on the posters she saw earlier, something about sun...drop? She looked around. Those same posters were here too, on the walls and desks along with others that seemed more outdated. 'Sunnydrop', said the posters, although it seems more like the name of the candy they promote. “Eh.”

“Hm?”

“What if I called you 'Sun'? For short, for the moment. Like a short version of the poster over there.” Fern said, pointing with their head and thumb. “And 'cause, well... it's literally the shape of your head... it's not very original but...” (I'm not pronouncing that whole name every time I want to refer to you.) “I don't know, how about it?”

It looks between Fern and the poster until it smiles and nods its head vividly “Okay, yeah! Call me Sun!” It looks happy with the idea. The fans and noise of its processor have reduced. Fern already has a name for the sun animatronic, Sun, ironically. “I like it! Oh, I like the nickname you gave me!” Its 'rays' make a spin around its head followed by some *clicks* and *tics*, was that to express happiness?

“Hey.”

“Yes, friend!? Uh-Oh! Is it okay if I call you friend?” It seemed nervous again. Fern was going to have to be extremely careful talking to Sun if at the slightest it'll get upset over something like calling them 'friend' instead of using their name.

“Yeah, sure, call me whatever you want. Hey, how long have you been here?” Possibly not the best question to start with but Fern had many questions about this place and especially about Sun.

“For-! Uh... *knnnnnnnn skr skr skr skr* since... *kr kr kr kr kr kr kr kr kr* uhhh...*skr skr skr srk*”

“Okay, stop stop.” After a few moments Sun stopped as instructed, along with the processor's noise, and looked at Fern with curiosity and a feeling of having done something wrong. “Let's see. How long... have you been On? Since the last time you started up again.”

“Oh! I can anwser that! *knnn krkr kr skr...* Four...thousand *skr skr kr-* two...hun...dred ninety...-EIGHT! Days. Since my last reboot... Ah- no- well... since my last hard reboot. I don't really need to shutdown but sometimes I need restarts... Be a few minutes (or hours) 'off '. Oh, but since then I've been fine! Working perf-*skgrah*-ectly! *skr*.” It swung its fist to the side with energy and a smile, ignoring the distress call from its system.

“...Yeah. And those noises that are constantly coming out of you? They don't sound very good, to say the least.” She's right.

“I've already fix-! *skgrr-* I've already fixed it! S-sometimes it happens and I don't realize it, but I always fix it!” “...” “I-I know you were a little scared before! And-and that- And that I acted weird! I...I know! I'm sorry... But that's it! I'm functioning perfectly!” It swung its fist again, this time with less enthusiasm “...Seriously...”

Fern looked at Sun thoughtfully “Back... in the ball pit. The noises were much worse and constant, and you froze with every movement or at mid-word. Does it happen to you often? I am no expert!” Fern held up their hands in excuse “But I wouldn't call that 'functioning perfectly'.”

“I-I- said I already fixed it! *skrgggrggrgr- kr kr*” There it was again.

“It's getting worrying, you know?” If it wasn't already before.

Sun waved its hand in denial “Nothin'nothin'nothin'-! *skrrr* It's nothing, it's nothing! *kr kr*” It repeated over and over between loud processor noises, the more it panicked, the longer the noises became “that that that! Dasit-! That's it! *skr krr-* There! *skrrrrr- kr- kr- kr-* Now, it's-! *sknnnnnnnnn skrGRRRrrAH* IT'S ENOUGH!” Its fans were starting up again along with the noise at an alarming rate. Sun started to make a sound that resembled hyperventilating. By panicking, it was asking too much of the internal system and it became destabilized (Hey Fern, the part about being careful with what you say, no, huh?).

“Okay! Okay, calm down. It's okay.” Fern sat forward raising their hands, still kneeling on the floor. Sun looked at them as it tangled its hands together. “It's okay...” She tried to think quickly what to say “You said that you had been... like four thousand or so days On.”

“*Skr skr* ...Four thousand two hundred and ninety-eight...*skgr*” It frowned at that last noise.

“Four thousand two hundred and ninety-eight days, okay. And in all that time, have you seen anyone else besides me? Have you received maintenance or any messages from them?”

Its expression shifted to a bewildered look at Fern. It started playing with the ribbons on its wrists “No... No, but-” It tried to show a smile again “-but it's okay, I've been taking care of myself a lot-lot-lot-! And I have been very careful! And I've paid attention to the alerts! And then they won't have much work ahead of them...! For... when they come back...” “...” “They're taking their time. They're...-they're taking a long time to come back.” It started rocking on the spot, back and forth “But it's fine! Because when they come back-*skrgrgrhs* when they come back- I'll-! *skrgr* I've been behaving well! I've been behaving very well.” It suddenly lowered its tone of voice. It looked at the floor while its hands still played with the ribbons, tangling them between its fingers. “I have been good. They won't have to worry and will be able to return to their work. I have been very good. I am functioning perfectly. There is no problem. I'm fine. I already fixed it *skrnnnnnnnnn*” Again the noise “I've fixed it, I've fixed it, I've fixed it!”

“Okay! Okay. Alright, I believe you.”

Sun looked up and tensed its shoulders... and its 'rays'. It looked surprised, like it had forgotten Fern was there. “*Skr skr skr skr skr skr skr skr* Oh-! Oh.” It looked at the ribbon tangled between its fingers for a moment, untangled it, and looked back at Fern as its hands continued to play “I- didn- ...I'm sorry.”

“I was- I was just wondering, how... come that-” 'How are you still functioning after all this time?' was what Fern wanted to ask among a thousand things. But seeing Sun's expression, that mix between stress, fear and somehow enthusiasm, just to be there, with someone. Fern decided to put their questions aside “You know what? Why don't you ask me something?”

“*skr skr* Oh! I've already asked you a lot of things earlier! You still haven't answered those~!” It said with a more cheerful tone.

“Sorry, I don't remember them, can you repeat them for me?” Better to start gaining its trust.

Sun's posture tensed as it leaned forward, it clenched its fists with enthusiasm and its 'rays' shrank and extended, making a wave effect around its head, it made an inspiration sound “*GAAAASP* What is your favorite thing to do-?!What do you like to play-? What places do you like going to-?What's your favorite color-?!Your favorite song-?Your favorite food-?Do you like puppet shows-?Would you like me to teach you how to make puppets-?!Do you like nicknames?Would you like me to give you one-?Do you like painting-?Can we do make-?”

“One at a time! I can't keep up with everything.” Fern cut them off before it continued its endless list of questions. Sun had that guilty look again with its 'rays' drooping. Before it could began to apologize Fern continued “What's the first thing you want to ask me?”

“Um- eh-ah- *knnnnnn* What's your favorite thing to do in the world?!”

“Humm...” Fern took a moment to think. She could give a random answer to move forward the conversation faster but she wanted to be honest. And she was having a hard time because she couldn't remember what she liked to do most. “I guess... uuuuuhh... drawing? Although- well I don't really draw much.”

“*kr kr* I like to draw too! And painting! And crafts! What's your favorite game?!” Sun jumped to the next question.

“Uf, uh...” Fern wasn't great at remembering their own interests. It's hard when you don't think about it often, or ever “I don't think I have a favorite game... Mmmm-I like it when the game uses cards... but I don't know.”

“*skr kr kr* Oh! I also like card games. What's your favorite color?!”

“Oran...ge...? No... Well, yes, but maybe pastel yellow... although I also like some shades of green and purples.”

“*skr skr kr*” Sun seemed to be taking note of everything Fern was saying before asking the next question. “You can choose more than one! I like sky blue!” How ironic “What's your favorite food?” If it wasn't for the enthusiasm it gave off when asking and waiting for the answer, Fern would have thought Sun was getting back at them for asking it difficult questions earlier. It could be, but hard to believe with the little bounces it gave in place while smiling with excitement.

“I mean... I don't know- I like salty foods, and some acid ones but... I wouldn't know what to tell you my favourite food is.”

“*skr* Oh, well... I like cupcakes!”

“...How can you have a favorite food?”

“Why wouldn't I have???”

“Can you eat? Are you made with the capacity for it?”

“*kr knn* Ohoho! No, I can't eat them, but I like how they look! I think they are pretty! There are many ways to decorate them...! *skr kr kr* Oh! I also like homemade cookies! You can give them any shape you want and decorate them and you can also make them colorful!” What Sun seemed to like was the process of making them, makes sense.

“Ha.” Fern showed a smile of understanding.

“... *skr krkrkr skr kr*” It took a moment to ask the next question. “Do you like music? Do you have a favorite song?” It seemed more relaxed talking.

“I like it but um... I couldn't tell you... I've never chosen one as 'the favorite' ...you know?”

“*SKRRR* Y-you don't have to choose! Y-you are not obliged *skr kr*” Sun must have noticed Fern upset, but it wasn't because of them. What bothered Fern was not being able to give a confident answer. “Everyone has a hard time choosing sometimes-! *kr* There are a lot- lot of songs and music! How to choose just one... ahaha...” It laughed.

It continued the relentless bombardment of questions. Sun asked the typical basic children's questions when they have just learned how to make friends and chatted about various game topics. Fern tried to slip some 'discreet' question about the Fazbear company and Sun, but it would get nervous when it was unable to respond and would hung up, so they would change the topic again and talk about personal interests.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

It's been a long bit.

“*knnnnnnnnn*... Do you… do you have a favorite place?” Sun asked, showing a bit of shyness.

“...” It took Fern a while to answer “I- guess... My house? I don't know..."

“... D-don't you have... a comfy place? A place where you feel more comfortable than others?”

“Heh, yeah, my bed…” Their answers became more and more vague.

“Oh-! *skr* hehe... Does that mean you're not an early riser?”

“Actually, I usually get up early, but who isn't comfortable in their bed, you know? Besides, I get up early out of obligation. It's not that I can just stay in bed and do nothing.”

“*krkr* Oh...haha, of course...” There were a few seconds of awkward silence until it asked “Uh... a-a-are you bored? A-a-are -y-y-ou getting bored?” Its fans began to be heard.

Fern cut them off before it could start rambling in panic again. “No no! It's not that... it's just that-” She wanted to explain themselves but couldn't find the words. “I don't know. I guess- I'm a little tired, and lost in thoughts. I wasn't expecting...this” She pointed their hand in Sun's general direction.

“...Ah?” Sun tilted its head to the side in confusion.

“I mean... it's just...” I came to steal old material and scraps “I came in here expecting to explore a little and leave and now I'm... sitting here. I didn't expect to be answering questions about me or my personal tastes in craft materials.” She looked at Sun “...Or to have a conversation with a robot” Sun frowned a little at that last bit. “Not to belittle! I didn't expect to find anyone when I came here.”

“No no-! It's not that- ah- Why weren't you expecting anyone??” Sun asked with genuine confusion “There are always a lot of people working here, especially during the day!”

“...” Oh, boy. That “uh... Sun” It's better for them to know it now as soon as possible ...right? “I think... no one comes here anymore.”

“...?” Sun looked at Fern with bewilderment but maintained a light smile.

“...”

“...”

“...a-”

“AHAHA-” Sun suddenly laughed. Its posture and smile had frozen, its gaze fixed somewhere behind Fern.

She knew it wasn't looking at them, she swayed sideways and made various arm gestures and poses to check it. The *knnnnnnnn* that began to sound confirmed to Fern that it was still working and had not suddenly broken, maybe it just gave an error and was processing a response. “...Sun?”

“HA-” *SKRGKRrrgkk...* It looked like it had a spasm for a moment. Its head tilted and a mechanical *click* was heard, shortly after its face made a full rotation followed by more *clicks*. Its smile widened again, maintaining its worried expression, it put its hands on its ankles and began to sway back and forth rhythmically. “Silly-silly-silly-silly-silly-! *sKRKRrrg* OOOOH so silly-! That's so silly-! AHA-ahA ha-! Don't say nonsense!” It said smilingly.

Fern could only look at Sun in bewilderment and pity.

*skr* It stopped its swaying and relaxed its tone “Don't be silly, friend. Of course people still come! They have to come and do their job! Their work is very important! They wouldn't all quit so suddenly!”

“...Has anyone been here in the last years?” Fern asked, worried for the answer.

*skrKR* “You have come!” It responded instantly happily “You are here! -Right now!"

“...Sun,” uff “Have more people come here besides me in the last years?”

“...” *skrkr skr kr kr kr...* Its smile was falling but it didn't disappear completely. “Surely.... they are working in another part of the building. -Y-yes *kr*, they must be very busy! Working! Elsewhere...!” A low *kr kr kr kr* began to be heard “That's why... it must be that... You aren't a new technician! Right!?”

“¿¡!?” That took Fern by surprise. “Um- nope.”

“A-a-a-and- you haven't seen anyone since you came in here! Right!?” *skrskrskr*

“...No-?”

“Of course!” *SKR* The half-joyful-half-nervous tone returned “-Of course you couldn't have seen anyone! You don't work here! You can't have the work schedule or know where they might be-! You can't know- aHAha-!” If Sun noticed the worried looks Fern was sending him, it must have ignored it.

“Y-yeah okay, but- alright... and... haven't you thought... that they haven't stopped by to visit you in a long time?” Fern gave a small worried smile. “-Haven't you seen them in a while time?”

“LIIIke I said before- they're busy- they don't need to come see me now! *krkrkr* It must be that I don't need to be examined at the moment! That must be it haha! You're not from here so naturally you don't know! You don't know what they're working on! Don't worry- don't worry-!”

Fern could only think that this was going to be more complicated than it already seemed at first. The robot continued with its paranoia that this place was still running. Something light up on its face, as if it had remembered something.

“B-besides- they said they would come back tomorrow! So it's fine! They'll be back!”

That got all of Fern's attention. “Wait- holditholditholditholdit-! They told you they would be back, tomorrow???”

Sun nodded its head vividly “Mhm! That's what they said!” It looked more cheerful.

“But- like, tomorrow-tomorrow?”

*Sknnnnnnnnnnnn* Ah, one of the various sounds of thinking “They said they would be back tomorrow!” It drops that and stays chill, with a smile on its face.

“So you're telling me... they talked to you today?”

“Oh, no! I haven't seen them today...”

“They sent you a message then.”

“No no, I haven't received any messages in a while.” *skr*

“...” For the love of my life “They... told you the date they would return, and that date is tomorrow?”

"No, silly!" it said with laughter “I'm telling you, they told me they would be back tomorrow!”

Fern was perplexed. She was finally managing to get even a sliver of information out and she had gotten themselves into a loop with the robot. But wait- “Sun, how long ago did they tell you they would be back tomorrow?”

Sun stayed silent, the only audible sound the long, drawn-out *knnnnnnnnnn* it seemed to do when it thought. It dug its fingers into the fabric of its pants near its ankles and didn't move again. A while passed and it was still motionless, thinking. It began to repeat a sequence of noises as if it had gotten stuck in its thoughts and suddenly the sound stopped. Its smile fell, its body lost all the tension that kept them upright, and it slumped to the side.

Fern startled. “¿Sun?” Didn't seem to respond “Oh, God...” Just as she thought of getting closer to check if it was okay, Sun sat up, making a lot of mechanical *clicks* and *tics* as its limbs settled back into their natural positions. It could be hear the fan running and soon the *skr skr* it had been doing the whole time they were talking.

It finally looked up at Fern. It seemed to function normally again, “...” “...” “...HEEEEL-” or almost “-LOOO... *SKGrkrgr* N-new friend-? Oh-o-OH- Are you new-?! ARE YOU FRIEND!? *kgr*” This sounds familiar... Sun got up from excitement, it couldn't stop bouncing on the spot. “Who are you-?! What's your name!? *skgr* I can't find your profile-! -Do you have a profile??? OH! Are you the new playmate!? Wait, are you here for the routine maintenance? *kr- kr-* Are you a new technician-!?” And we start again “Can we play? Can we play NOW!? Can we-! You're not on the employee registry-! You need a registry to-! *skgrkrkrkr* How could you get in without a profile!??? Do you work here-?” It stopped dead and stared at Fern. Its white pupils scanned them from top to bottom. “*skrgrkrg* *GASP* You don't work here! How did you get in-!? What are you doing here-!? INTRUDER! STRANGER! ¡AAA-!” His rays tensed, Sun began to run in circles screaming “SECURITY ALERT! SECURITY ALERT! WOO WOO WOO WOO!” And imitating alarm sounds. Its screams mixed with the noises of its processor and fans. Fern could only look in amazement and disconsolation at the panorama.

“Sun.” She tried calling them but it kept going 'woo woo' while running and doing pirouettes across the floor. “Sun! Hey!” No case. Eventually it went back to just spinning around in circles while shouting 'DANGER DANGER' over and over again. “Sun! Listen! SUN!” It stopped but not because of Fern. It had frozen in its animation again, its head and hands rotating in place, sparking from the friction. Now it was just repeating 'ERROR ERROR' non-stop with a monotone voice.

Fern panicked, she spun around on themselves looking around, searching for something. She located an old, dusty ball behind a chair and threw it hard at Sun, hitting them in the face. Somehow this made it stop completely. Fern watched silently waiting for something to happen but Sun remained motionless without making a sound. A few seconds later the fan sounded again along with the rest of the usual noises, it took them a while to start up. When it finally did, it returned its gaze to Fern, scanning them up and down.

“...” “*GASP* New frie-!”

“AH- NAH-no-no-no-no-nah-! We are not going through this again!” Fern cut them off before it could start with everything all over again.

“...f-...frie-nd-...” That left them in shock. It lowered its rays and its posture shrank. The *vrrrrrr* of the fans could be hear.

“Y-Yes- yes... friends! We're friends” Saying that seemed to help improve its mood. Sun went to open its mouth to speak but Fern was the one who did it first. “Before you say anything-! Um... No, I don't work here and I don't have a profile. Yes, I've snuck in, uh- don't activate the alarms yet, I don't have any bad intentions...” That last one was partially a lie. Don't get upset, okay? ...We don't want you to suddenly shut down and collapse again.” Sun tensed up upon hearing that but did as instructed and remained calm for the moment. “We've been talking for the last- THREE HOURS.” Fern looked at their watch, it had been over three hours and she was having a hard time assimilating it but she looked back at Sun who was expectant of Fern's words. She took a breath and continued. “Okay, look, we've been talking for a long time and you've already asked me everything about me. Y-you should have that information recorded somewhere in your memory! It happened just now.” She paused to see if Sun had caught everything she said and gave it a moment to search for said information. It could be hear the *skr skr* of thinking and the fans. After a while it stopped making noise, but the nervous fidgeting of its hands let Fern know it hadn't collapsed again. “Do you remember anything of what happened in the last few hours?” She asked.

Sun seemed to have come out of the trance it was in and started looking between its hands, the computer desks, and Fern. “*skr- skr-*...uuh...uh...” The fidgeting passed from its hands to the ribbons “...yyyyyess?? uh- *SKRG* I- *kr* I shouldn't give- *sKRGRRGKRgrrss*” Oh no... It froze again- “Yes! Yes, of course! Ha- How would I forget-?” It had that expression again between happy and on the verge of an attack “I haven't forget anything! I haven't forget anything-! Don't worry! It's all here-!” It raised its arm doing a swing with one finger pointing at its head. “It's here! I forgot nothing- nothing! It only took a lil' bit to load- haha...” Sun smiled awkwardly while Fern looked at them with concern and seriousness. “Yup, a-aALLLl in order! *-skrgr*” It confirmed one last time.

Fern let out a tired sigh. She looked worriedly at the watch on their wrist. 12:11 “Okay... okay look, I- have been here for a long time now, I should go-”

“What-!? No no! *-kgrkgrgr* Please no!” Aaaand Sun panicked again. “Don't go! HahA-! I- Um- Can-! *SKGR* I-I-can-can-can- a-any- thing! I can do anything-! Whatever you want-!” Its voice was cutting off with static and it let out gasps between pleas, its rays were trembling. Fern tried to say something but it was only a murmur between Sun's desperate screams. “Don't leave yet, please! It's still too soon! Don't leave me alone! I don't want to be alone-!”

“I'LL COME BACK!” Fern finally raised their voice.

“...eh?”

"Listen." Fern made sure she had Sun's attention “I cannot stay any longer, I just can't! I've already spent longer than I intended here and I have a lot to do. So...” She sighed and looked at Sun, they maintained eye contact. “...I'm leaving for today, and I'll be back tomorrow, okay?” She saw confusion on Sun's face, from the sound of *Knng* and the way it tilted its head it didn't seem to have understood. She repeated again gesturing with their hands as she spoke making their points clear. “Today: I'm leaving. Tomorrow: I'll be back... Understand?” She let a few seconds pass to see how it'll responded.

It had its hands together, one finger scratching the joint of a knuckle on its exposed hand. Its noises could be heard at a lower volume and the rays from its head shrank and extended in a wave movement. It finally reacted “ah...uh-... o-okay... okay... *skgr* a- Yes! Alright... okay...” It nodded with a shy smile. “*skr... skr...* um- I-... if- If my friend says- *kr* says they're coming back, then they're coming back! Ahaha...” It tried to return to a more cheerful voice. It sounded like it said it more to themselves than to anyone else. “Ri...ght... friend?”

"Sure." Fern nodded, tilting their head to the side.

“...” “...Do you promise...?”

“Yes.”

“...You promise you'll be back here tomorrow?”

“Yes, I'll be back here tomorrow.”

“R-really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Do you really promis-?”

"Yes!" Sun jumped back, its eyes and shoulders hunched and it looked in fear at Fern. “Sorry...” She sighed “I promise. I really, truly, really, truthfully promise that I will be back. Tomorrow morning I promise you I'll be right here.” Sun looked at Fern expectantly. “...” “Word.” Fern held up their hand in promise. Sun imitated the gesture “Okay?”

Its expression brightened, the rays came out again and its posture relaxed. “Okay, y-yeah, okay! W-we'll see each other tomorrow!” It confirmed.

Fern was relieved to hear Sun finally understand and breathed out a sigh of relief. “Okay, then... I'll get going, alright? Bye.” She waved goodbye as she headed towards the doors.

“¡Ah! Uh... Can you close the doors on your way out? The doors have to be closed if no one's here...”

“Yeah.” She grabbed the door handles and pushed them.

“U-um- S-see ya!” It said waving its hand in the air.

"See you tomorrow." Fern confirmed one last time, “Bye, Sun.”

Sun stood there, waving timidly into the air, watching as its new (apparently) friend disappeared after closing the fake castle doors. It stopped waving “...” “Who's Sun?”

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Fern was back on the first elevator, the one that wasn't working and, naturally, she hadn't forgotten their beloved and much missed crowbar. She made a long descent to the bottom of the pit using the stairs on the wall to get it back and climb back up. She sighed, “Next time, I'm bringing two crowbars.” She climbed back up to the roof of the elevator and entered through the emergency hatch to reach floor L2. After coming out of it, she stopped in front of the doors to look at the state of the crowbar more calmly 'Wow, it's pretty good for having fallen from 30 me-' *SKREEEEEENNNNNNGG* Fern flinched at the sound and turned to look at the elevator.

*SKREEENNNGG NNNGG NNNGGGGGGGgggggggggg.......*

*...*

*...*

*...*

*BOOMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............*

“...”

Fern stared with their eyes wide open at the now empty elevator shaft. She looked at the crowbar in their hand. She decides to put it away and return home. We aren't going to think about how she narrowly escaped that, no. If she had taken few more seconds to come out and turns into mush, in an elevator pit, in an abandoned facility, in a building not even its mother knows, in the middle of nowhere. Nope! We aren't going to think about that, better to get out. Down the stairs, straight ahead to the right. Fresh air here she goes.

As soon as she left, Fern felt a pressure release from their head. Just a few meters away from the entrance she felt like she had to sit down and take off their backpack before getting where she had parked their hovercraft, she needed clean air. The fresh air helped them clear their head and thoughts. She hadn't realized until now how overwhelmed she was feeling being in there, apart from the recent scare with the elevator, which has also made them feel anguish.

She looks at the clock, it's past one o'clock in the afternoon. She should eat something if she's driving home after all that walking, climbing, and running. She gets up from the ground and drags the backpack along with their body to collapse in the car so she can eat there. It's a little harder to carry the backpack with the extra weight of the tools she has been collecting on the way back (hey, they were free). She takes off their gloves and digs through their backpack to take out the multipurpose knife, the lunch box containing the chicken with rice she had prepared in the early morning and an apple, some of the rice has stuck to the lid of the lunchbox and she scratches it off with the fork. She spends a few minutes digging into the food until she finally decides to bring a portion to their mouth.

Although she decided not to worry for the moment, Fern can't help but think of the robot trapped and abandoned at the bottom of the building... who's alone again. Should she really come back tomorrow? Yes, she promised, but, what difference would it make if she just pretended nothing happened? What consequences could there be-? In fact- Fern would be suffering consequences for taking responsibility for a defective and damaged robot. Bots themselves are already a pain in the ass to maintain and the lack of bot rights management doesn't help, there is nothing that protects them; there's no way to get good insurance for them, especially for models from 5 years ago. If your bot is older than that you better have a complete manual stuck in your head on how to solve any absolute damage or problem it may suffer, because if not, you're both very screwed.

Speaking of which, how is Fern supposed to repair a robot as broken as Sun is? Especially one made by Fazbear Entertainment, the bastards make their own unique tools and parts of exclusive use for their company. You can't find them anywhere. It would be impossible to repair one of their animatronics unless she made each piece by hand and- um- no. Thank you. Is Sun even in saveable condition? Would it even be worth it? Even in the hypothetical case that she managed to save it, what would she do next? She doesn't have space at home for a robot that's taller than 2 meters. There is the machine refuge, yes, but...

...

Could she even help them? Without compatible or interchangeable parts I highly doubt it. It would end up turning into useless scrap metal. Not much differece from what awaits for it inside. There really wouldn't be any difference between leaving it here or taking it to the city.

Nobody knows it's there.

...

Fern knows.

...

But no one else knows of its existence. Who would care?

...

It's down there suffering and nobody knows.

...

Fern knows.

...

Without realizing it she had stopped eating and was just playing with the fork. Let's see, on one hand we have: a damaged, defective and hyperactive robot in an abandoned facility in very poor condition an... give it an hour and a half by hovercraft away from the city, without much chance of repair or survival in or out of this place, not to mention the lack of knowledge about its model. On the other hand we have: guilt.

On the one hand: Fern wouldn't feel right just leaving it here, Sun has autonomy and in the time they have known each other it has demonstrated enough intelligence to have its own opinions and make decisions for itself, it clearly has a developed AI so it is capable of feeling emotions; in other words, its suffering is real and it is morally wrong to leave it like this. On the other hand: she wouldn't know where to put it, as said before, there is no space at home and Fern has neither the resources nor the time to take care of it, they wouldn't accept it in a job or company because it already belongs to one, on top of it with a bad reputation. The refuge is an option but it wouldn't help much, it could end up becoming a burden and may not end up getting along with the other bots that are already there.

What will win in the end? Rationality or morality? The crushing and tormenting feeling of guilt! Of course! That's why Fern is sitting curled up in a ball, perforating with their gaze at the half-eaten rice and chicken, unable to make up their mind. She could at least try. Try... something. Even if it's just, paying them a visit? She already promised them that she would come back tomorrow. At the very least she should go see them tomorrow, she doesn't have to go every time, she doesn't have to repair it either. Maybe keeping company is enough? From the looks of it, it doesn't seem like it has much of its lifespan left... Oh God, she's really considering doing this.

For now, Fern will worry about finishing their meal and driving back to the town. She'll think better about it when she gets home.

#Edit: fixed a word count mistake #again. I'd really appreciate the feedback please #I'd like to get better at translating and adaptation. this was rough #my writing #biomáquina au #fnaf daycare attendant #dca au #fnaf sun #fnaf dca #selfinsert #character & selfinsert #character & oc #platonic #no ships #fanfic #long post

[lovelyhan]

what are your svt fic recs??? like your holy grail??

took me a while to put this together BUT here it is!

disclaimer that i've been a carat for like . a month so it's a stretch to say i've read a lot of svt content. tho from what i've consumed so far, my favorites are listed under the cut :>

i'll start with the ones i found on ao3 first hehe

push it down (sooner or later it all comes out) by dontflailmenow × tags: s.coups x reader; camboy!cheol, enemies to lovers

the first EVER svt fic i've read, and it was just so WOW!!!! basically, reader recently broke up w her ex, which is seungcheol's best friend. cheol and mc aren't on the best of terms (always arguing etc.) so when she realizes that the camboy she's been lusting over to get over her ex turns out to be cheol, some...problems start to arise i'm pretty sure i saw this one around tumblr but i'm too lazy to find the op's blog i'm so sorry HEUUUHEU but i really loved it to pieces, and it ultimately flung me into svt fanfic tumblr altogether :D

The bore next door by HoneyAteez × tags: wonwoo x reader; blind dates, suffocation via cock LOL

another fic that i am fairly sure is cross-posted on tumblr too, but can't be assed to find -- your mother sets you up with good neighbor jeon wonwoo, and he turns out to be the worst sexual deviant on the face of the earth, fucking the soul out of your body right after the first date.

Walking in Traffic by versigny × tags: mingyu x reader; soulmate au, teens being teens

literally crying as i type this because it's one of the most beautiful coming of age stories i've ever read, and it was written back when i was still in mf HIGH SCHOOL 😭 reader and gyu find out they're soulmates way too early, and pretty much despise each other growing up, but they eventually come to terms with their soul bond along the line.

close proximity by chilligyu × tags: mingyu x reader; roommates, LOTS OF ANGST

there's no explicit smut in this one, but the plot twists and the narration itself threw me in for SUCH a goddamn loop that it would be a hate crime not to include this here. mingyu becomes reader's roommate upon bff!wonwoo's recommendation, and they and up falling for each other, and [gets dragged off stage because spoilers]

now for the tumblr recs!

sapiosexual by @smileysuh × tags: s.coups x reader; sugar daddy au, psych daddy!cheol,,,,

it's a pretty straightforward sugar daddy au, but what makes it different is how it's written, y'know? cheol clearly lays all of the details for he and reader to agree on, making sure all the boundaries are clear and there aren't any blurred lines. seungkwan as your best friend is also a really enjoyable addition (he's the one who coined the term psych daddy LOL), AND i just love the author's humor in general.... quirofilia [bursts out laughing]

A Break by @smileysuh (again bc i'm obsessed w their work) × tags: mingyu x reader x wonwoo; svt as babysitters, budding poly

so op has an entire assortment of meanie poly fics, but this one is probably my most favorite bc it touches on a more endearing and responsible side to mingyu :') he and reader just can't sit down and fuck because he's busy worrying about their child every ten minutes LOL. enter jeon wonwoo, who is not only baby saebyeok's favorite uncle, but has been pining for the reader since time immemorial. of course, gyu has known all along, and asks them if they're both down to have a threesome (this is literally a terrible way to summarize the story, but i suggest you just read it &lt;3) OH OH bonus: hoshi tries to sacrifice the baby to the tiger gods in a summoning circle made of tiger plushies. if that doesn't sell this fic for you, i don't know WHAT will

Love, Actually by @haet-sal × tags: jun x reader; cheating but not really? whipped single dad!jun

aka the fic that catalyzed my jun brain damage. reader works as jun's secretary but she isn't very...good at her job, but he keeps her around anyway bc 1.) his kid likes her, and 2.) HE likes her. problem is: she has a boyfriend-not-boyfriend, but Because that boyfriend-not-boyfriend is an asshole, she kind of uses jun as a constant rebound, poor guy (it has a happy ending tho i promise!!)

an untitled dk friends 2 lovers by @husbandhoshi × tags: dk x reader; idiots in love

this is actually preceded by 2 more drabbles from the op, but i'm linking this one specifically bc it made me physically long for big dick boyfriend lee seokmin. the thing i like most about smut written for dk is that he's ALWAYS so fun and endearing and lovable in bed, and what's more is that this one's a friend to lovers fic, so there's YEARS worth of pining and puppy love to spice up the sex hehehehehehe it really really deserves more recognition !!

right where you left me by @tonicandjins × tags: wonwoo x reader; exes getting back together, ANGST

i have a shitty memory so i can't go into the specifics on what this fic is about. it's one of the first ones i read on tumblr, but it's been a hot minute but i DO remember writhing in bed right after reading it, so it definitely earns a spot on the rec list! reader and wonwoo lived together in their hometown, but had to break up when wonwoo moves to seoul and he just couldn't make any compromises. bonus points for best friend hoshi on this one &lt;;3

that's pretty much it for now! i'm so sorry if any of the authors mentioned didn't want to be tagged 🤒🤒 i just thought i'd share my thoughts abt ur work while sharing them w the rest of my followers UEUEUEUE

#🍵 tea time #anon #📁 kai's fic recs #if you have any recs 4 me just leave an ask HEHE #always down to gobble up gewd content #recs: seventeen 💎

[from-izzy]

you: my favourite scene | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x fem reader/original female character​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers! non-idol au! (high) school au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, bit (?) of angst, ​sunwoo is super loving, understanding and patient, hurt and comfort » WORD COUNT: ​5562 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~20 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): heavy mentions of food, disordered eating, brief mentions of abandonment, topics on mental illness (implied depression and anxiety)

this was my first story i ever uploaded on tumblr! this gained 88 notes (8 rbs, 80 likes) and that number is still so massive to me. i remember seeing my very first like notification and i was so surprised that it happened within around 12 hours of when i first uploaded it (pretty sure it was midnight tho so i couldn't be as chaotic as i would have really been)

but here it is again!

def better grammar and punctuation (i seriously dk how i let those mistakes passed when i first uploaded it). i did do some editing, replacing dialogue/thoughts to narrative sentences because i didn't want to necessarily post a story that i wasn't proud of (and also because i wanted to keep my stories similar to the original ones before so...yeah).

please remember that all your struggles are valid and i sincerely hope that the world around you is a place full of love, hope and kindness. never feel inferior with asking for help. i believe that asking for help is one of the bravest things ever.

When your roommate texted Sunwoo as a final choice, the boy didn’t hesitate to rush over despite it being extremely early in the morning. He didn’t spare his friends a response when he logged out of the game and ended the call, sprinting over in his pyjamas and a random jacket from his hanger. He probably woke his sister up but he didn't care about the consequences at the moment.

About a year ago at the classroom, Sunwoo walked back to get his wallet, cursing to himself as he had to line up once more at the back of the line and his stomach was not having it after skipping dinner the night before. He caught your friends sighing and was incredibly frustrated at you for not taking care of your health. Sunwoo knew the situation was serious and was about to leave, holding in his anger until after school, not wanting to disturb Choi Jiyeon, his seatmate and new friend. His worries took over when her cries were louder and he approached the scene.

They were pretty much strangers at this point. School had only started for a month and they only got to know each other then. Sunwoo didn't know what took over him to approach the same group back then.

Jiyeon didn’t expect the sudden appearance of the boy, her eyes crying as she kept on denying her friend’s request to go eat something. Jiyeon loves her friends but unfortunately, they are not too understanding of her situation. So when she craned her head up to silently plead at Sunwoo through her tearful eyes, he made up an excuse as they both left the classroom. That day Jiyeon told him about her struggles and Sunwoo remembered promising to himself that he would research and stay by her side; as a seatmate.

But now the following year, Jiyeon's roommate opened the door for Sunwoo, smiling weakly as she gave an acknowledgment nod to the guest. He knocks on the familiar bedroom door before introducing himself and entering the room.

"Heard from a little birdie that you haven't eaten in a while." This situation isn't new for either of them; heck Sunwoo has seen her tearful eyes, full of tears so many times, yet it still breaks his heart to pieces whenever he gets the news from her close friends or roommates that she hasn't been eating for the past couple of days.

The first time it happened again after the day in the classroom, Sunwoo panicked and had a tunnel view to just get food in her stomach, believing that was the most important thing. He didn’t expect the next episode to occur so early and he has not researched the topic very well at that point. But as time went on, Sunwoo learnt certain signals from her, what she's comfortable with as well as to just provide her comfort in the hard time. 

When Sunwoo opens the door to the bedroom, he sees the fully covered figure under the blanket, gulping his sadness down. It’s the scene that he hates the most: You just lying down, lifelessly in bed, crying and fighting alone. You would never call him no matter how much he’s offered and it made him worry more as time passed. "Jiyeon…it's Sunwoo."

Sunwoo could see that she heard him, shuffling slightly as a reaction, "Sunwoo?" she whispered too gently for him to hear. Unlike his previous visits where she would make the effort to make eye contact with him, Jiyeon kept herself hidden as the past month, she has established her own feelings towards her friend.

Sunwoo nods even though Jiyeon can't see it. The bed sank a bit as he sat on its edge, "Is there anything that you were maybe wanting for the past few days?"

"I don't know…"

Sunwoo's heart clenches at how dry and lifeless her voice is. Before he knew it himself, Sunwoo slowly pulled down the blanket much to Jiyeon's surprise and she sat up to try and get the big fabric over again when Sunwoo pulled her weak body into a hug instead.

"You're so cold…" Sunwoo held onto Jiyeon tighter than ever, arms around her shoulders, resting his face on the crook of her neck.

Jiyeon's breath hitches at his warm breath against such an intimate place, "S-Sunwoo…" that only led him to tighten his grip on her upper body even more.

"Please let me get something for you…" He couldn’t bear seeing her suffering alone like this.

Jiyeon thought long and hard about something that she is able to put into her mouth easily, also thinking about her ability to swallow the food without feeling guilt, "I…guess I want some meat mixed with vegetables…like the ones inside of dumplings…but I don't want the dumpling skins…"

Sunwoo's face visibly lit up at the mention of the food she wanted, nodding excitedly at the request. He pulls away, smiling at Jiyeon and repeats her order once again, "Ok! I'll be back! Just stay here and I'll be rig---"

"No wait, don't go!" Before Sunwoo could fully let go of her hand that he had excitedly shaken earlier on, Jiyeon clasps her tiny hands on one of his hands, pulling him back down to the bed, "I don't want to be alone…"

"Hey, you're going to be fine." Sunwoo's expression softens again when Jiyeon looks up at him desperately and fearfully. With a soft act of comfort, he uses his other free warm hand to caress her cold cheek, "If you want me to stay, I can order delivery. Is that a better plan?"

Jiyeon nods, tears flooding her eyes at the way Sunwoo was so delicate about the whole situation. She slowly crawls over to the edge of the bed with the blanket rolled up on her hands, going closer next to Sunwoo.

The boy just observes her movements until she sits next to him, taking note of her shivering figure and pale face. Carefully taking the material from her hands, Sunwoo stands up and wraps the fabric around her shoulders, tucking the edges in to stop warmth from escaping.

To Sunwoo, Jiyeon looked like an extra adorable burrito and he couldn't help but blush profusely at the endearing sight. He bends down from his standing position, tucking stray hairs behind her ears, "Do you want me to make the call here or outside?"

"Here…" one of her hands escaped from the warm environment, "could you…hold my hand?"

"Of course, I will."

Sunwoo kept his word, giving reassuring squeezes and thumb brushes on her hand during the whole call. He tried his best to keep the food names short and concise, not wanting Jiyeon to be stressed by the whole situation. When the phone hung up, Sunwoo sat down comfortably on the floor in front of her, still holding her hand, "It'll be here soon."

A comfortable silence envelops them both as they stare into each other's eyes attentively. If she didn't read him wrong, Jiyeon could see sparks of life and happiness in him, as well as comfort and warmth in his eyes. The sight made her heart beat faster though she also worried that her crush on Sunwoo made her delusional about something that wasn't there in the first place.

When Jiyeon downcasted her gaze, she missed the way Sunwoo slightly frowned as he pouted a little, "I'm sorry…" She couldn’t finish her sentence verbally but what she wanted to really say was: sorry for wasting your time and money on me when you could be using it for other things. Why couldn’t she say it? It’s not as if Sunwoo would look down on her in any way. He would’ve done so ages ago if that was the case.

But no.

Sunwoo stayed by her with those gorgeous, patient gaze and that smooth, comforting voice. That did scare her because she fell in love with Sunwoo even more and giving her heart to someone else, is a big gamble. With that, she stayed quiet because she had a feeling that if she ever said anything, he would smile awkwardly, tap her shoulder timidly and walk away without another doubt.

"For what?" Sunwoo didn't get an answer when he realised that Jiyeon started crying, her mind filling up with horrible thoughts and ideas, "Jiyeon." He jumps up from his cross-legged position, crashing his body to hers once again, "I have no idea what you're apologising for but you haven't done anything wrong, so don't apologise."

"Sunwoo…I--" She struggled heavily to form any sentence in her head, let alone in real life. Sunwoo hushed her, cradling her face between his palms, "I just can't…"

"Can't what?" Sunwoo whispers back. Even if his tone was stable, his heart started beating fast at the possibilities behind her words. The words would have ranged from the smallest to the biggest of things and Sunwoo didn’t even want to begin to think of the possibilities. While Jiyeon only shakes her head, not answering his question explicitly, he just nods, opting to give her physical comfort like before, "I'm just going to get the food alright? It should be outside the door."

Jiyeon couldn't answer, feeling numb and tired as the tears just kept flowing down. Sunwoo himself was on the verge of tears. He recalls the day when he was late to the first day of last year when the new student became his seatmate for the school year. Sunwoo knew the moment she flashed her smile that his heart would be in deep trouble yet, he still introduced himself with an entrancing smile anyway.

"I'm not going to leave you alone." The said girl widened her eyes when she heard the slight voice crack in his sentence, seeing how tears pooled in his eyes, "I promise you that I won't. I'll be right back."

"Please come back soon." With shaky hands, Jiyeon couldn't help but cradle Sunwoo's cheek, brushing his skin with her thumb delicately.

"Close your eyes and count to forty-five. I'll be back in front of you when you open your eyes." With a nod and her voice starting, Sunwoo dashes for the door before relocating to the kitchen, washing his hands and peeling off the dumpling skins, putting them aside for him to eat later on. Putting the filling back into the container, he sits down on the floor again whilst catching his breath and when Jiyeon opens her eyes, he's surely there with a comforting smile.

Jiyeon wrapped her arms around her body tighter when Sunwoo smiled warmly at her, "You're actually back…" A lone tear fell off as she worried herself over and over again, "You came back…" 

But the thing is, Sunwoo has always come back over and over and over again.

Sunwoo frowns at the comment, feeling his heart clench at the way you were most definitely worn out from your fight. Unlike previous days when she would smile back and thank him, it seemed like there was something definitely on her mind today, "You know I'll always come back for you right?"

"Yeah…" though it felt unsure. Sunwoo wasn't sure what made her so hesitant but he couldn't help the hurt to flash against his eyes as he nodded at her words dejectedly, "I'm going to give the container to you, alright? As always, I'll sit behind you, back to back and just wait for you, okay?"

Her gut swirls with anxiety and suddenly the white, somewhat translucent takeaway container didn’t seem scary to her anymore. But the boy that held onto it while thoughtfully reciting the plan that they have always adhered to? That made her look away.

"Sunwoo, I think you should go this time…" The fear took over her and she blurted the sentence before she even knew it. All the thoughts that freely swarmed in her head suddenly collided against each other and Jiyeon bought her blanket to cover the lower part of her face.

"W-What?" With no clear answer from the girl, Sunwoo's frown deepens and he gulps in nervousness at her words, "How about if I wait outside? Hm? Is that a better plan?"

"O-Outside…?" She recalls a random day after school when they were both playing basketball together.

"Yah Kim Sunwoo!" Jiyeon fell into a fit of giggles when Sunwoo engulfed her back to his chest with his arms around her waist tight, swaying her around to keep her away from the ball, "This is foul play!"

"Whatever you say!" Sunwoo kept her in his hands for a little more, smiling brightly as the basketball bounced further away from them. When their laughs die down (though their smiles haven't), he turns Jiyeon around to face him. He grins, the corner of his lips stretching widely to the sides.

Jiyeon couldn't do the same however, the comments from her friends that she's falling in love with Sunwoo filled her head. She didn’t really know why she kept on brushing it off. Jiyeon always believed that love would come and she would always tell herself to accept the feeling. But when reality strikes, it feels like all the pep talks and preparation vanished without a trace. Nervously with wide eyes, she looked up at the mischievous boy who only looked at her with a fond smile, "Sunwoo." she whispered to him.

"Hm?" For the first time in a while, he lets one of his arms around your waist go, only for it to fix your hair up a little bit, waiting for your response. Sunwoo lets himself bask in the feeling of being close to Jiyeon, loving how physically close they could be without feeling awkward; or at least that’s how it felt to him. Undeniably, Sunwoo knows he has fallen in love with the teenage girl and though the feeling scared him, he allows himself to let go of his fears at least just this once.

"If, just if, one day I told you that I can't hang around you anymore,” Jiyeon finally looks up at his slowly concerned gaze, “what would you do?"

"What would I do?" Sunwoo crashes his eyebrows together in confusion, "Well, I mean I don't need to think about this because it'll never happen though! I'm too awesome for that!" He finishes with his widest, signature grin. 

Jiyeon laughs at the very Sunwoo-like response before continuing, "Just an ‘if’…you never know what could happen in the future."

"Well," Sunwoo didn't even want to think about it; a day where you would push him away indefinitely. He’s definitely thought about it, no doubt. Most of the situation was about how he would confess and it would ruin this friendship that he could never dream of letting go, "it'll depend on the situation but I would wait for you. If it's just during that certain time when you need immediate space, then I would wait outside for you or something. But if it's long term," His hand that was playing with your hair stops, cupping your cheek gently as he looks longingly into your eyes. 

Sunwoo knew at that point that he was indeed very much in love with Choi Jiyeon. Days of questioning have finally brought him this realisation and he smiled radiantly with the thought in his head. Jiyeon gives a confused frown but slowly starts to relax it to a smile when Sunwoo’s thumb caresses your blushed cheek softly. 

Sunwoo enjoyed this moment where it felt like you were the only ones in the world, all the surrounding noises blurred out from your attention. His thumb that rested on your cheek unknowingly moved back and forth as you enjoyed the soothing act.

Sunwoo's action made the world around Jiyeon stop momentarily. With that beautiful, deep, loving gaze, she waited, "If it's long term?"

He sighs out, "Look, I don't even want to think about the long term. But I know, and I know for sure, that I'll wait for you."

"You…will?" Jiyeon breathlessly confirms as Sunwoo nods with a small tiny smile and half-lidded eyes.

"I will. I’ll always wait for you. So don’t worry yourself over such a thought."

"Promise?" Just like little children, Jiyeon holds up her pinky between their faces, waiting for Sunwoo to link them together. 

He chuckles before sealing his words with the old ritual, "Promise."

Jiyeon squirmed at the promise that she practically forced him to make. Yet Sunwoo still kneeled before her with his hands under her smaller fingers and hands. His hands became colder by the second as his grip became just a tiny bit tighter, hopeful for a positive response.

Your response, however, cut his heart like a knife, "I think…you should just go home, Sunwoo…" 

The last class before lunchtime commences with the students waiting and hustling about the room, waiting for the teacher. Jiyeon’s seatmate talked to her friends from the row in front, telling her the menu her mother packed for lunch, and her friend responded with something similar. 

The discomfort grew too familiar for her and Jiyeon wanted nothing but for the seat to swallow her, hoping that something would protect her from hearing such words about the one thing she couldn’t stand the most at the moment. Or she wished that she could run away like she did instantly when morning break started. When the strict teacher finally came, she couldn’t be any happier at how his booming voice made the whole class quiet instantly and Jiyeon gulped down harshly as a thankful tear came out from her.

In the opposite classroom, Sunwoo clenches his phone underneath his table as his bank account balance is shown once more. He stares at the higher number, furrowing his eyebrows at the transaction made into his account. Further information shows that Jiyeon was the one who did the act and he scoffs in confusion and dumbfoundedness, “What the hell is she doing?” 

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: where she would go when she was happy, when she was sad or when she was struggling. But the earlier morning break proved him otherwise as he ran practically through the whole school to find you, both for the relief of seeing you as well as to ask what was in your mind the other night when you said those hurtful words to him. 

Looking to his left, where he could see the girl on the other side through the classroom windows, he sees the tired look on her face and that signature lip bite that she always does when she's in a hard time. The class was about to end in three minutes and Sunwoo was going crazy about how impatient he was to run into the other room. He made sure his headphones were connected to his phone, turning up the volume a little bit to hear that it was connected properly without being caught by the teacher in the act.

When class is dismissed, he bumps and squishes through people from both classes to a desk in the middle of the class. Girls were entranced with his presence and the boys were greeting the social boy. However, Sunwoo had a really small tunnel vision, only running to a downcasted figure that when approached closer, was just her trying to hold in the cries with her hands on her ears to block out the noises.

Sunwoo comes around to the side of the desk, his phone and the neck of his headphones in one hand. Amongst the still bustling area, he’s surprised at how much he can hear Jiyeon's shaking even though it actually was really quiet. That made him realise how tense and angry his facial expression would’ve been, his heart softening when he heard her struggles.

Carefully, Sunwoo stood behind Jiyeon, picked a random song and tucked it away in his pocket. His left-hand wraps around her tense wrist softly, lowering it down to her lap, whispering words of comfort before engulfing her left ear with his headphones. He did the same with the right ear afterwards, carefully observing how her body slowly relaxes at the tune.

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: in this situation, he could relax that he actually did. 

He waits patiently for her to come back to the present, sitting down on the table directly behind hers as he watches the song change from his phone screen for the next fifteen minutes. Sunwoo feels the pain once again: the pain that he couldn’t take away as he could do nothing but wait for her to acknowledge his presence. Upon last night’s events, Sunwoo was contemplating just leaving his phone on her desk and walking away as he didn’t know how glad she would be with him near her. The thought doubled the pain in Sunwoo’s heart and he decided to click the phone to sleep. Before he could put it on Jiyeon’s desk, however, her body visibly relaxed and Sunwoo widened his eyes and froze, knowing that she’s fully calmed down now. 

Jiyeon’s crying eventually ceases, opening her eyes with a final sniff. Usually, when she did let the light back into her eyes, Sunwoo would be in front of her, flashing that beautiful smile of his that she had come to fall in love with. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she didn’t see the usual scene. Her hands come up to both sides of the headphones, pulling them down to rest the headband on her neck shakily. She knew all too well that even when she was crying with her eyes tightly shut, it was Kim Sunwoo. 

It was Kim Sunwoo that came to her rescue and made her feel safe once again.

It was Kim Sunwoo who waited for her to calm down when everyone knew how much he cherished his break time and food.

It was Kim Sunwoo who made her fall in love all over with him once again. 

Jiyeon just stared down at her undecorated nails, pretending to find something interesting about it. In reality, she was just biting her lips, shutting her eyes back and forth in an internal battle to look back at the figure behind her. Her shoulders slumped unconsciously as she recalled her passive actions to Sunwoo the day before, basically kicking him out of her apartment. Jiyeon mulled over her actions the whole night, knowing well that it was so unfair that she pushed Sunwoo out when he most probably rushed over to help.

“Thank you.” Jiyeon says clearly to the person behind her. Sunwoo heard her gratitude clearly, nodding softly still with an incomprehensible face as he just looked at his shoes below him. Noting no response from him, Jiyeon twists her upper body back to see the dejected Sunwoo. Her heart clenches at how he didn’t make the effort to even look up, wishing even more now that he would at least flash her a smile. But that is too much to ask after what happened and Jiyeon knew that, “Sunwoo, I---”

“Why did you send me money?” His tone wasn’t welcoming at all, icy and cold as if he hated the girl. The students that were in the classroom were no more when they heard his tone, quietly packing up and walking away, not wanting to get involved in the drama; though of course, they’ll talk about it outside the classroom.

“I-I just…” Jiyeon stammers, gulping her nerves down. She notices how Sunwoo clenched his fists. The one that held his hand was clenching so hard that his phone was waiting for him to confirm if he wanted to shut the device down, “For delivery last night…”

“You’ve never paid me back. Why now?”

“O-Oh..I can transfer more. I’m sorr---”

Sunwoo scoffs, his whole face grimacing in anger, “That’s not what I meant.” His fiery orbs finally met down with Jiyeon’s red ones, her tears still escaping here and there. All Sunwoo wanted to do at the moment was wipe Jiyeon’s remaining tears, cupping her cheek and pulling her warmth to him. But not now. It’s not the right time, “Jiyeon, I don’t understand why you pushed me away. Of course, if you need space that’s fine. I would always give it to you if you need it, without a doubt or question. In fact, if you need it right now then I’ll leave. But that’s not the only thing you did. You transferred me money and you think that I’m asking for you to pay after all those times?” He stopped for a second, a million sentences running in his head that he rehearsed last night alone in the confused darkness.

“I just…haven’t been able to pay it back.” Jiyeon didn’t know what else to say. She adjusted her position, turning her body so that the left side of her body was facing him, her foot hitting the rear chair leg. Sunwoo didn’t miss how her small fists were now side by side together on her thighs as she stuttered to find some words, “S-So…yeah.”

“Yeah?” After a short time to finally breathe after his long rant, Sunwoo managed to ground himself back, his emotions no longer heated. But now, his heart weighed heavily at everything between him and Jiyeon, “Don’t pay me back.” Sunwoo’s voice wavered, turning his head to the side, trying to control his emotional state, “I did all those things because I care for you, Jiyeon. I care about you so much that it physically hurts me when you’re crying alone, fighting alone like that. You never let anyone in and although I want to say that ‘it’s alright’, I also want to say that it’s not. You have me. Jiyeon, you have me. But you just pushed me away.” 

But it’s hard, isn’t it? To show the side of yourself to someone that you desperately try to hide. It becomes even harder when you try to hide it from someone you like, “I think…” Jiyeon whimpers at the words she’s about to say, contemplating to say it. Is she really going to push him away like this? Will she ever be able to let go of the fact that Sunwoo won’t be her friend anymore? Will she be able to let go of Kim Sunwoo in general? Her heart beats for Sunwoo but her mind is telling her that with all the love Sunwoo receives, why would he ever pick her?

Sunwoo raises himself off the table with the intention of walking away and giving Jiyeon some space. Looking down at the top of Jiyeon’s head, he couldn’t help but blurt out a bit of his feelings, “You don’t know this but I’ve never had a crush on someone before.”

The sudden new topic made Jiyeon lift her head up to face Sunwoo. Unexpectedly to her, Sunwoo was already looking down at her with absolute adoration when he said his words. Jiyeon gasps lightly when Sunwoo starts to lightly tear up, “S-Sunwoo.” Forgetting her earlier thoughts, her body reacted first, standing up to be in front of him, “Hey…why are you crying?” Testing the waters very carefully, Jiyeon slowly raises the back of one of her hands to wipe his cheek.

Sunwoo, of course, lets her do so. He takes notice of her warm hands that completely contrasted yesterday, feeling comforted as he lets out a relieving breath and a small chuckle. Both of her hands were resting on Sunwoo’s cheek so gently, with her thumb wiping motion on his cheek, that he felt like his whole body was being wrapped comfortably by her. He just kept on staring at Jiyeon’s worried expression and the way her lips were throwing out words of comfort, “How am I supposed to ever walk away from you when I’m so in love with you?”

Jiyeon flinches at the sudden confession and before she could back away, Sunwoo quickly places his palms over hers back to his cheeks firmly. His eyes look weak due to his own tiredness from not being able to sleep soundly yet full of strong love for the woman in front of him, “W-What did you just say?”

Exhaling softly at the way Jiyeon looks so unsure, Sunwoo repeats his main point differently, “I’m confessing my feelings for you.” Her once confused parted lips, found each other once again as she searched Sunwoo’s eyes and all over his face for any lies, “I’m not playing with you, Choi Jiyeon. I can see the reluctance in your face.”

“Sunwoo, you have girls lining up for you,” Jiyeon whispers to him, her tone convincing him that something is wrong. “Waiting for you. Girls who are so much easier to be with. Girls that won’t push you away. Girls that won’t make you run out of the house at midnight. Girls that are…not a burden.” In denial, Jiyeon shakes her head, “You don’t lik---”

“Is that what you think you are to me?” Sunwoo counters her calmly, “A burden?”

“I’ve always been a burden all my life. Why do you think my parents left me?” Jiyeon lost all the strength in her arms, and the only thing holding her hands on Sunwoo’s cheek was all his effort, “My grandparents are loving but their lives would’ve been so much easier if I was nev---”

“Mine wouldn’t,” Sunwoo interjected. Whatever it was that she was about to say, it was something to put down her self-worth and he couldn’t handle such things coming out of her. Lowering both of their linked hands, Sunwoo intertwines Jiyeon’s hands with his, “You don’t know how much energy you give me every day. How much motivation you give me throughout the day. How loved and cared for you make me feel.” He shrugs, ignoring the loud beating of his heart, “But now I guess I’m finally telling you.”

The apprehension in Jiyeon’s eyes made Sunwoo comfortingly smile, hoping to ease some of her anxiety. Just like what Jiyeon did towards him earlier, he lets go of one of her hands to rub his thumb on her cheek. It was silent as they were comforting and seemingly communicating with each other through their loving gaze at each other. And so when Jiyeon lets out a small smile, Sunwoo beams brighter than ever, “I like you, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Then date me. Date me and let me love you back.”

Jiyeon blushes at the straightforward statement. Sunwoo flutters his eyes shut as she brushes the hair away from his face, “You won’t regret this?” she breathes the question softly.

Sunwoo shook his head, gently placing his forehead on Jiyeon’s, “Not if you won’t.” He responded in a similar manner. 

“Sunwoo.” Jiyeon turns to her side and glares at her boyfriend who has been staring at her for the last three minutes. Not only did it distract her studies but the way that he looked at her so mesmerisingly made it hard for her to even breathe at this rate, “Stop looking at me.”

Sunwoo kept an innocent smile, pushing his face further forward, pressing a quick peck on her lips, “Why?” He playfully asks.

“You said you were hungry! Go get some food!” Jiyeon pushes Sunwoo away by the shoulder, the male dramatically pushing himself back, “Don’t be dramatic!”

“Fine fine, I’ll go.” Sunwoo drags out the last syllable in the sentence, frowning and slumping on his chair a little bit before standing up with his phone, “Do you…want anything?” Jiyeon could only smile softly as usual, stopping her vigorous typing on her computer at his question.

It’s been more than three years since their relationship started and Sunwoo has been so patient in her journey that every single time he carefully asks the question, Jiyeon could feel her heart melt and fall in love with the boy more and more each time, “Give me a kiss before you go.” She puckered her lips to him, tilting her head up.

Blushing furiously at the unexpected request, Sunwoo buffered before leaning down to hug his lips with her familiar ones. His hand was on Jiyeon’s nape, softly holding her head in this intimate moment. Jiyeon melts even further with his attentive actions, smiling widely in the kiss. Before completely pulling his hand away, Sunwoo brushes her hair out from her forehead to press another kiss. Leaning away to face each other with rosy-tinted cheeks, he asks once again, “Anything else?”

“Make sure you have a safe trip there and back.” Jiyeon presses a kiss on Sunwoo’s cheek before ushering him to go. But he didn’t do anything as he just kept on staring at his girlfriend who reflected the same glimmering look of love in her eyes towards him. Sunwoo’s hand, which still didn’t leave her nape, prevented her from turning away, “ Kim Sunwoo, stop looking at me! I'm not that nice to look at…"

It wasn’t Sunwoo’s plan to stare at Jiyeon for that long. He’s just naturally attracted and so in love with her that he didn’t realise that she was the only thing that he would search for in a whole hall of people, with different colours and different noises. Choi Jiyeon finally let her walls down as they overcame life’s challenges together hand in hand. Kim Sunwoo couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her. "You will always be my favourite scene to look at."

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

#deoboyznet #k-labels #k-films #the boyz #tbz #sunwoo imagines #sunwoo x reader #sunwoo the boyz #sunwoo fluff #sunwoo angst #sunwoo timestamps #kim sunwoo x reader #the boyz x reader #the boyz x you #the boyz fanfic #the boyz imagines #the boyz fluff #sunwoo fanfic #kim sunwoo #the boyz kim sunwoo #tbz sunwoo #the boyz sunwoo #sangyeon #lee sangyeon #jacob bae #younghoon #kim younghoon #hyunjae #lee jaehyun #tbz x reader

[bellaxgiornata]

Falling For the Devil [Part thirty-seven: "The Bad Dream"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Matt has a bad dream and you’re woken by the sounds of his distress.

Or

You and Matt once again disagree on a topic that has been causing tension between you two over the past week.

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 2.4k

a/n: This one is a little bit of angst that is foreshadowing the Big Angst arc that begins in part 50 and lasts for quite a few installments. Just a head's up since I don't leave as remotely as detailed of notes on these tumblr posts as I do on the AO3 ones. You can find the entire list of installments for this series on tumblr here.

Shifting along the mattress, you burrowed your face further into the silk pillow, the sheets incredibly soft against your cheek. You sighed, feeling your body sink back into the bed as you relaxed, unsure of what had woken you in the first place from your dreamless sleep. 

But as you were falling back asleep, a soft noise caught your ear, the sound immediately drawing you back to yourself. Eyes still closed, your eyebrows drew together as you focused a bit closer for the noise. A moment later you heard it again–a faint cry, almost like a whimper. You frowned, realizing in that moment Matt was no longer tucked against your back like he often was when you both slept together. 

Eyes opening, you noticed it was still dark in Matt's room. That meant it was most likely still very early in the morning. As you heard the quiet noise again, you rolled onto your back, head rolling on the pillow towards Matt. You couldn't make out too much in the dark of his bedroom, the blackout curtains he had recently gotten for your benefit blocked most of the billboard light outside–more than the previous curtains even had. What you could see was his back towards you, his shoulders hunched together and it looked like his legs were drawn up to his chest under the sheets. Another little noise sounded through the dark and you realized he was crying in his sleep.

"Matt?" you called softly. 

He didn't respond. Carefully you sat upright, rubbing a hand at your eyes as you did. You heard him whisper a soft, terrified 'no' next and your heart broke at the sound. Hesitantly you reached a hand out, very lightly placing it on his bare shoulder. 

"Matty, baby, it's me," you whispered, leaning towards him, your hand still on his shoulder. "You're having a bad dream. That's all."

His crying grew a bit more panicked, your heart clenching at the sound. You gently tried to shake his shoulder, hoping not to wake him too abruptly. 

"Matt, hey–"

His entire body startled awake, the movement catching you off guard as he quickly sat upright. His head frantically darted around like he was trying to figure out what was going on. You could see faint tear tracks staining his cheeks in the tiny bit of light as he moved his head. His shoulders were heaving visibly as he breathed hard, clearly startled and worked up.

"Matty, relax, it's just me," you said in a rush, trying to calm him. "You had a bad dream. We're in your bed. It's okay. You're okay."

His face turned towards you instantly and he whispered your name like a question, his voice breaking on the word. You nodded firmly in response, tears stinging at your own eyes at the way he'd spoken your name. What the hell had he been dreaming about?

"Yes, baby, it's me," you assured him, "I'm right–" he flung himself at you, taking you off guard once again, "–here," you finished, your back falling against the wall behind you under his weight. Your arms encircled him in return as he buried his face into your neck. You could feel the dampness of his tears along your skin. "Are you alright?" you asked carefully.

“I can’t lose you,” he croaked out, your arms tightening more firmly around him at the sound. “I can’t lose you, too.”

“Shh, Matt,” you soothed him, resting your forehead against the top of his head. A few of your own tears were leaking down your cheeks at how scared and upset he was. You’d never seen him like this before. “I’m not going anywhere,” you assured him. “I’m right here.”

He was quickly shaking his head along your neck. “No,” he whispered. “No, sweetheart, I can’t lose you.”

Shoulders sagging under the weight of his implication, your hands began gently rubbing his back. “Matt, nothing is going to happen to me," you gently reassured him "I’m not the one running around at night chasing criminals,” you joked, hoping it might help lighten the mood.

Except there was a long pause where he didn’t respond to what you'd said, only stiffened in your arms. His face was still buried in your neck and you could feel a wet spot forming on the collar of your shirt from his tears.

“Yes you are,” he breathed out.

And that certainly hit you like a punch to the gut.

In that moment you knew exactly what this was about. You could certainly guess at what he'd been dreaming about–the same thing that had been upsetting him off and on for the past week. 

“Matt,” you began slowly, carefully, “you just had a bad dream. That's all. Unless you can predict the future now, too, what you dreamed about was just that–a dream." Your head turned, resting your cheek along the top of his head as you continued. "You’re upset about me still chasing after the whole Wayland thing, trying to find out who’s hiding above Backman. I understand that, I do, but I’m being careful, Matty. You know that.”

“You shouldn’t be looking into it,” he replied, voice muffled against you. “It’s not safe, not with what you’ve been telling me.”

“I can’t just–just run from stories, Matt,” you stated. “Asking me to do that would be like me telling you to stop being Daredevil. And I have never done that.”

“Yes, but there's a difference," he countered.

Your brows furrowed, hands still soothingly rubbing along his back as you held him. "Yeah, the difference is I'm not trying to physically fight these guys," you answered. 

"No,” he said firmly, an edge to his tone as he pulled away from you, your own arms dropping to your sides. “The difference is that I can take care of myself. When men with guns come after me, I can fight back. You can’t.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair in frustration. You’d had this same discussion, bordering on argument, earlier this week already. Apparently it was still very much on his mind.

“No one’s coming after me with guns, Matt. I’m fine. And it’s not like I don’t have Daredevil looking out for me,” you said, feeling like you were once again repeating yourself. “Look, I’m sorry you had a bad dream. I’m sorry that I’m the cause of that, of upsetting you and making you worry. But I’m fine, Matt. I’m right here. And I’m not going to just give up my career. So please don’t ask that of me,” you begged him, your hand tentatively reaching out towards his jaw. You noticed how he didn’t lean into your touch this time, though, and something twisted briefly in your chest. “Matt?” you whispered nervously.

“I can’t lose you,” he repeated, tone firmer than before. “I won’t.”

Swallowing hard, you gently stroked your fingers along the stubbled skin. You could feel the muscles jumping in his jaw. “Baby,” you said slowly, nerves beginning to knot in your stomach, “I spend most nights here with you lately. Where you can keep me safe. Right?”

The muscles in his jaw continued to move and twitch beneath your fingers, your heart rate steadily and anxiously increasing in his silence. Matt had never given you a reason to be nervous before, afraid of losing him. But you were terrified right now and his silence was killing you.

He felt so distant in this moment, not at all like the Matt you'd always known. He wasn't even responding to your touch, somehow feeling cold and disconnected despite him sitting right beside you. You bit your lip, trying to fight back the growing tremble in it. Was he going to break up with you? Was that what this was? The thought alone felt like someone was crushing your heart, a sharp pain hitting you in the chest.

Slowly your hand fell from his jaw, landing back in your lap. You could feel a fresh sting of tears in your eyes. “Are you–” you began, a lump forming in your throat as you struggled to say the words out loud, “–not wanting to do this anymore?”

Matt visibly jolted on the bed in front of you at your words, his head canting downwards towards your chest. “What? No, sweetheart, no,” he quickly reassured you, but the tears had already begun to fall from your eyes. “Fuck, no, I’m sorry,” he said, his strong arms swiftly drawing you into his bare chest. “No, no, not at all,” he repeated into your hair.

You clung to him, sniffling quietly against his chest as tears still continued to fall. Picturing your life without Matt in it was something you didn’t think you could even do at this point. You couldn’t lose him either, in any sense of the word. Matt was…your other half now. You needed him.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think that,” he apologized, planting a kiss to the top of your head. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, sweetheart. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he repeated. "I just worry about you. I worry about what you’re doing. It’s–it’s not safe, even if you are trying to be.”

“This is what I do, Matt,” you whispered into his skin. “Just like what you do. You’ve known it since you met me.”

“I know,” he agreed, smoothing a hand down your hair. “I know, you’re right. I just–just please tell me what’s going on with this? Let me help you.”

You nodded slowly along his chest. “I will,” you whispered.

But the tears still continued to fall down your cheeks. That twisting, sick feeling in your stomach at how he’d so abruptly closed himself off on you was still roiling inside of you. That was a side of Matt you’d never seen before. One you never wanted to see again. One that absolutely scared you.

“Sweetie, are you okay?” he asked gently. “Your body is doing something strange right now.”

Your head turned, your face burrowing further into his chest as much as you possibly could manage it, right along his sternum. You could smell that scent of something like leather mixed with sweat on him–the smell of the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. One of your favorite scents. Your fingers dug into the skin of Matt’s back roughly, trying to force yourself somehow closer to him. You felt like you just needed him, somehow, in some way. 

“Sweetheart?” he asked curiously.

“I can’t lose you, either, Matt,” you confessed quietly, your voice breaking. 

"You're not going to lose me," he answered firmly. "I'm going to be here to keep you safe. I'll always do what I need to to make sure you're safe, sweetheart."

“Promise?” you asked, voice coming out small and weak.

His arms held you tighter. “I promise you that, sweetheart. Keeping you safe is always my main priority. That’s why I worry about you so much. Because I love you.”

“I love you, too, Matthew,” you whispered.

Matt carefully began to lower the pair of you to the bed, only releasing one of his arms around you to help guide the both of you down. Once you were laying down, his arm instantly came back to wrap around you, drawing you tight to his chest. His lips were on your forehead, placing warm, lingering kisses along your skin a handful of times.

“I’m sorry I make you worry about me,” you murmured, your head now resting against his chest from where he’d pulled you almost halfway on top of him. “I don’t mean to.”

He sighed heavily above you, his hands comfortingly rubbing along your back now. “I’m sorry I make you worry about me ,” he responded. “With what I do. Because I don’t mean to, either.”

“I know,” you told him.

The pair of you laid there for a few minutes in silence. You’d have thought Matt had finally fallen back asleep if it wasn’t for the relaxing way his hands were moving over your shirt. You were still a bit worked up from whatever that side of Matt you’d just seen had been, though. Sleep wasn’t exactly on your mind at the moment. 

“Matt?” you asked timidly through the dark.

“Yes, sweetheart?” he answered immediately.

“We’re–we’re good, right?” you hesitantly asked him.

One of his hands removed itself from your back, instead coming to grip your chin between a few of his fingers. He tilted your head along his chest up towards his where you could just make out him looking down at you. 

“Of course,” he said firmly. “I’m still looking forward to that road trip for Christmas coming up with you. Seeing your family again. Meeting more of your family.” You could just make out the smile on his lips in the dark. “And I still want you to move in with me. I gave you that key for a reason, sweetie.”

Tentatively you reached a hand up, cautiously just brushing your fingers against the line of his jaw. He immediately turned into the touch, tilting his face to nuzzle his cheek into the palm of your hand. You felt a weight slowly fall from your shoulders, as if things were really alright and whatever that was had been like its own version of a bad dream to you.

Matt partially rose from the pillow, craning down towards you. You quickly raised your head from his chest, meeting him halfway as his fingers drew you to him by your chin. He kissed you with so much emotion that you felt a pleasant, comforting warmth shoot through your body in response to his mouth. Your lips in return slowly kissed him back with less timid hesitance, gaining your usual confidence back. He pulled back only to seconds later lean in to plant one more little peck onto your lips before he laid back on the pillow. Your own head landed back on his chest.

“Is it okay if I stay like this?” you asked him, not wanting to untangle yourself from his half naked body after all of that.

“Sweetheart,” Matt answered, a smile apparent in his teasing tone, “I’d be more upset if you didn’t stay like that.”

A smile spread across your own mouth, your mind feeling finally eased from whatever had happened in the early morning hours. You settled back into Matt’s chest, eyelids dropping, and fell back asleep with his hands still comfortingly holding you to him.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x fem reader #matt murdock series #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil x female reader #matt murdock angst #fftd

[siffrin-enthusiast]

angry system and radqueer/“transdisabled” vent here, interactions okay except for radqueers. make your own post and keep it far away from real disabled people. tws for mentions of death, trauma, and hospitals.

this is not syscourse. this is my experience as a traumagenic system. this is not a commentary on anyone else except for radqueers.

i truly despise how sometimes DID is seen as a “quirky” or “fun” disorder where you get your favorite characters as imaginary friends. do you know why i split one of my silly fictional characters? for reasons i won’t disclose because i know basic internet safety, i almost died as a child. i came very, very close to dying. i was in the hospital for months and all i had to keep me from thinking that god, i nearly died was a fictional character. as much as i post about loving my system (which i really do! they saved me!) it is undoubtedly the worst thing that has ever happened to us. i would never wish this upon anyone. if i could be a singlet, if i could be whole, i would. everyone in this brain would make the same decision.

i make light of it because for the i’m going to be stuck here with living, breathing reminders of my worst traumas and if i don’t joke about it, i’m going to lose it. i only remember my early life through flashbacks. most days are a blur, weeks and months slipping by in a few blinks. i’m barely remembering to go to my college classes, and when i manage to get there (on time, too!), i don’t remember the lectures anyway. i might have to drop out until my therapist and i can figure out something to stop my body from thinking i’m going to be hurt again every time i walk into a classroom. i’m about to lose it.

i’m too tired for “syscourse”. i really am. but while we’re here, radqueer “build a headmate!!” things? you’re fucking sick. do you know that? you’re sick in the head. log off and go to a real mental health professional. “transDID” is sick. it wasn’t enough to fake it? you had to make a mockery of us, too? are you happy, loudly proclaiming that you’re roleplaying having a horrible mental illness? aren’t you ashamed? (i know they’re not. that would require them to care about anyone besides themselves.) there’s a reason none of the “transdisabled” people go to therapy, and it’s because they know they’d be rightfully diagnosed with factitious disorder. i sincerely hope you all find therapists who can provide you with what you actually need, because i promise it’s not roleplaying mental disorders on tumblr. in the meantime, i’m blocking and moving on. i’ve cried enough tears over my disorder and i know i’ll cry more of them. i’m not letting you add to my suffering.

DID/OSDD isn’t a joke or a game. it’s the result of repeated, continuous childhood trauma that the brain has no choice but to break itself in pieces to hide the trauma from itself. it ruined my life. it still ruins my life. it’s taken years in therapy to get to the point of knowing why i’m so dysfunctional, and it’ll take many years more to start becoming more functional. i make light of it here because this is my escape, for a moment, where i can be a normal, happy person instead of a traumatized shell of an adult who is really still the scared kid that wasn’t supposed to make it this long. i don’t have “friends” in my head. i have fragments of my psyche clinging to whatever takes me away from the flashbacks. do you understand?

#radqueers dni #i will not respond. i will just block and move on #not syscourse #sharing MY experience as a system this isn’t about anyone else #actually plural #actually did #tw vent #vent post #kuiper system posting

[madstronaut]

it is currently madstro'clock and it is FaFiCoWriYear in this house

the original FaFiCoWriMo post feels too long to keep reblogging but I'm choking laughing right now because I decided to link it and this image above is what I see - FUCK IT WE BALL 😂😂😂😂😂😂 (truly my whole tumblr vibe)

me: gonna plug away at commenting on all the fics I’ve read lately that I love hmm should take a break 

also me: *takes break by looking for other fics to read*

I was completely taken off-guard by stumbling on this fic while mindlessly scrolling on tumblr and having it show up in my recs, so yes i live-blogged by reading even though I HAVE SO MANY OTHER DRAFTS OPEN BUT IT'S COS I END UP RE-READING CERTAIN FICS OVER AND OVER AND I KEEP FINDING NEW COMMENTS TO WRITE IM STILL THINKNIG OF COMMENTS I MISSED ON FICS I ALREADY COMMENTED ON BUT ANYWAY AHEM- 

without further ado, pls stay for the rambly thoughts, then flee in fright because of the increasing levels of unhinged commentar-

Reading: Touch-starved Nikto fic series by @keysorsomething

- "his current running theory was that you must have some form of brain damage. Perhaps you were dropped as a baby."

hehehehehehehe i swear nikto writers capture what i think would be his sense of humor with bullseye accuracy imho

- “His bright blue eyes broke through the dim lighting as if they were backlit by two LED bulbs in his skull.”

“You crack your eye open, meeting his piercing blue stare, like hot water down the back of your shirt.”

OMG TRULY THIS ENCAPSULATES THE EXPERIENCES OF BEHOLDING HIS EYES/WHAT I IMAGINE EYE CONTACT WITH NIKTO IS LIKE???

- “Maybe you could weird him out enough for him to leave you be..?”

literally held my breath reading the next few paragraphs til I read “He’s very gentle”

I don’t know what exactly it is about gentle touch but it can cut through people’s armor & walls like butter IRL and in fic and I JUST *am exploding, cannot type further*

- “His eyes looked like he was blinking on occasion, which was actually mildly upsetting because there goes your Christmas present for him.”

honestly what a thoughtful gift for the reader to get him eyedrops lmao *tell me u have a crush without telling me u have a crush, oh nothing just got you an extremely specific gift cos I noticed small details about you*

- “Did this count at fraternization?”

LMAO READER THIS MADE ME CRY LAUGHING “Im SORRy i woNT TOUCH HIM WITH TWO FINGERS AGAIN, IM SORRY I MISSED IT IN MY CONTRACT COS I WAS TOO BUSY STARING AT ALL THE $$$$-

- “I wanna know what’s up-” you pause “-man,” you tack it on, but quickly feel like you shouldn’t have. Who the fuck calls a guy like this man?

omg I am alr in love i fucking looooove awkward!readers

- trope alert trope alert trope alert STORAGE CLOSET READER? REALLY? (yes please god yes im so happy rn)

i would like to kneel before this all-powerful goofy ass awkward adorable reader who has nikto scared in a closet looking for ways out 

- “Not like that,” You correct, and he just eyes you more confusedly. “I mean, not yet..? Look,” You sigh,”

the “i mean, not yet” - like omg nikto if i was in ur shoes hearing this i would have to suppress the strong urge to immediately make out and probably fail to stopper the hearts exploding from my body (and ofc hide the involuntary boner popping maybe hello?)

- ““See you tonight,” Klaus mocks.”

i pity these fools, reader has just tamed nikto, i would beat all their asses immediately singlehandedly from the sheer high and power trip i would be on

- if someone referred to me as ‘one of the three snoopiest bitches on base’ i would get it tattooed on my collarbones probably

- ‘being called into König’s office and being scolded about fraternizing’ - thisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonigthisisaniktoficstopthirstingforkonig

- ‘His guns are neatly lined up against the wall, biggest to smallest.’

CUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTE omg i just know he prob has nicknames for them too

- ““Нет,” He replies firmly. He’s in more comfortable clothes, something you’ve never seen before.”

i am probably dating myself here but at the tight t-shirt and sweats description all i hear is BOWCHICKAWOWOWOWWWWW

- “Your eyes stay on him intensely as he lays down in the bed, sliding under the covers. “You are here to help us sleep,”

ok all my horniness left me (ok almost all not all of it of course not i would die) and i just felt so tender and awwwwwwww of it all, esp. the reader comparing his grip to a child with their lovie :( 

- “You see the faint, deep-brown shaping of his brows, his long eyelashes, the scar that covers the right side, but most importantly, the pale gleam of his skin in the little light.

He had washed the eyeblack off. And he had done it just for you.”

I am left speechless here; the buildup to this scene is storytelling and climactic perfection in my opinion

then i clicked on next part and it is titled “caught” and i screamed out loud lol

- “You dare to even think you want the world to melt away, for time to be this moment and this moment alone, always and forever, but should you really let him boss you around like that?”

looooooooove, totally captures that feeling when u have one of those 'time stands still/you wished time stood still' moments IRL

also YES READER WITH A SPINE/BRAIN IS ALSO MY OTHER KINK

- also as much as ive somehow developed a bizarrely unquenchable thirst for graves (do not @ me, i know, i have problems and I love it) canon graves is exactly how id imagine he’d be like in this fic esp with the constant mansplaining

- "How do you deny a masked man who’s speaking in his mother tongue?"

YOU CANT. YOU JUST CAN’T! IT’S A LAW OF NATURE. IT IS SCIENTIFIC FACT. IT IS IRREFUTABLE. IT IS ABSOLUTE TRUTH. IT IS DIVINE DOGMA. IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

- “When you look into his eyes, you feel like he wants nothing more than to touch you, and you feel he agrees that this moment is ever so precious. But he doesn’t want to touch you. Perhaps he’s afraid, or perhaps he doesn’t like his face being touched, so he won’t touch yours. The Golden Rule and all that.”

“It’s all the best thing to ever happen in this place, and you have a feeling it’s the best thing to have ever happened to him.”

““Nikto?” You ask, voice soft and wavering, like if you speak too loud you’ll create a rip in space-time and it will have never happened.”

again i feel like someone has snipershot me to the heart with tenderness, everything about this fic and the premise just speaks to a core desire i have to create moments like this, to bypass someone’s armor and touch their heart, and be a source of healing for hurt just by the gift of our mere presence and vice versa - and have this moment and memory become an indescribable source of light and strength in dark and dreary times to be taken out and relived over and over again as needed (or is it just me that does this lol idk)  

fanfic writers never change and keep creating pls <3 ur words create worlds that inspire and brighten our IRL world <3

- i am deeply moved by the indescribable tenderness of nikto waking reader up by softly patting their cheek - this man known and infamous for his harshness and aggression - UNF

-  “As always, they are an icy blue that doesn’t match the feeling of having them on you at all. But by now they feel so much cooler than before, like a warm hug or a heated blanket instead of a hot iron.”

if you’ve known any blue-eyed folx up close i have most def seen their eye color change with emotions, sooo fascinating and hot

- ummmmm my jaw fucking dropped when i realized he leaned in…TO KISS HER? I THOUGHT HE WAS ALSO GONNA REST HIS EYES AND JUST SLEEP FOR A BIT NEXT TO HER? OMG the emotional rOLLERCOASTER THIS STORY HAS TAKEN ME ON *running to download it as we speak*

- BUT aHHHH HTHE ACTUAL SCREAM WHEN READER RUNS INTO KONIG

- omg when reader starting sniffling i just want to hug her and also go back in the room and yell at konig OMG YOU MADE OUR HIGHLY TRAINED PMC-LEVEL KILLER READER CINNAMON ROLL CRY I WILL HURT YOU SIR IDK HOW COS IM LIKE 5’2 BUT IF I HAVE TO CLIMB U LIKE A TREE TO DO SO I WILL TO GET IN YOUR FACE-

- “Who the hell can you trust? Both not to talk, but also with Nikto.” - ends up being Velikan meanwhile me busy shredding the post-it behind my back hoping/suggesting it’s dmitry bale and trying not to cry- (ignore me dmitry is my current hyper fixation)

- i wont lie i am both so heart warmed by how tender and sweet reader is for being so good at reading body language and also laughing my ass off at her having this kinda complicated conversation with velikan who does not talk, mostly growls also while typing this his name autocorrected to pelican and i cannot stop fucking laughing

- omg DMITRY REFERENCE I SCREAMED OUT LOUD (it’s like 1130pm where i am, sorry to my apt neighbors)

- also omg i am crying at this allegiance letter with sputnik, i love both how thoughtful and it is and how it highlights each member and their personality - and that the return of sputnik returned some good memories back to nikto <3, shoutout to any PTSD folx who also deal with blankouts, flashbacks, and having good memory recall be a total struggle street - i think i would openly sob if someone did for me the emotional equivalent of what velikan (and allegiance and by extension reader) did for nikto here with sputnik <3 (and now im remembering IRL times people have done this for me and now im crying omg THE POWER OF FANFIC Y’ALL)

-AH YEGOR CAMEO? MY FAVORITE UKRAINIAN OPERATOR IN ALL OF COD? (madstro, there’s only one ukrainian operat-SHUT UP I SAID MY FAVORITE UKRAINIAN OPERATOR SHOWED UP)

- also i love how Velikan is written here - “This motherfucker was going to get him put on Fatal Attractions.” i would chill and fuck with him and also probably kill for him hahaha jk or am i-

- very into this irresponsible driver yet simultaneously responsible dog dad rodion rn

- also love the small touch of velikan removing his mask to look yegor in the eye asking if krueger is dead or not

the absolute ride this fic took me on???? incredible incredible incredible this is going in my list of top favorite COD fics @keysorsomething and if i could boost this in the nikto fics tag i would but i'll mostly just be salivating here in the corner over this fic in the meantime, tyvm <3

#madstrothought #FaFiCoWriMo #call of duty #nikto #Keysorsomething #touch-starved nikto fics #The Shape #Easing Into It #Into The Hyena's Den #SPUTNIK the hyena #Bright & Early #Unprofessional #Everyone has a Reason to Stay (Primireniye) #nikto x reader

[its-koili]

hey guys. sorry for being gone for so long. heres an update

(tw for: mention of violence / gore, general distress, mental health issues)

(tw below)

.

basically i had a huge mental health crisis. i was having 24/7 constant rolling panic attacks from may of 2023 to january of this year. my last big meltdown was in early february. been processing a lot of CSA trauma and some recent trauma that ive gone through. i think i talked about my panic attacks before leaving social media but idk i dont remember. isolated myself from absolutely everybody.

the main thing that made me leave was that while i was keeping up to date on the g3n0c1d3 (censoring bc idk how tumblr is about it), and when i was looking in the replies / related of the awareness videos, i came across 4 accounts dedicated to using gore for clicks / shock. not videos of the g3n0c1d3 (thank god bc of how they were using the vids) but of unfortunate every day situations and cam footage. like, the kind of stuff you could see on liveleak back in 2010. just out in the open on twitter. they all had usernames like "(insert number here) ways to die)". they were all content farms for click/ad revenue. it was too much it was a huge trigger and i had a full on meltdown. the bluecheck ppl on twitter were using the replies of the videos people uploaded for raising awareness to upload mindless g0re for money. the fact that peoople have 0 compassion for human life sent me into a spiral that i couldnt get out of. (i reported 3 out of the 4 accounts i was able to and 3 got taken down but 1 is still up and it odesnt seem to be uploading the hardcore g0r3 anymore. so thats good. but that was one of the reasons i left social media. ive been keeping up to date w the news but thats it. i left my socials entirely and ive only been on my phone to look up recipes or to use my computer for media research groceries and gaming and shows

that was the main thing that pushed me to leave. i just couldnt take it anymore. during the start of my crisis last year, i was planning on taking a small break, but all of that pushed me over the edge and i dropped everything. after that, my issues got worse and i dont remember most of it. thankfully. but i couldnt bring myself to talk to anybody. i isolated myself and just. laid in bed. but im doing better so i guess thats good

on another topic ive beeen nervous to post this on main but during all of this (ive talked abt tihs a little bit on my priv before i left) i found out that im a system a long while back. my dad (one of my abusers) had/has DID and it terrified me to think that i could be anything like him. i also knew cereal abuser who pretended to be a system to get away with stuff/abusing their friends (and then years later admitted that they werent a system and siad that systems are fake.) LOTS of tears. lots of crying over this. was in denial for a few weeks. cried some more. then eventually came to terms with it.

i dont want to post abt my system online too much bc i dont want to act like this is some fun trendy thing bc its not. it makes day to day living very hard (some lighter/funnier issues that make it hard are: arguing with an alter bc YOU dont know where THEY put YOUR MEDS, not being able to cook because one alter can and the other cant, your art style not being consistent because their styles are different). i dont want to really make it a massive part of my identity online bc its not a big deal! theres just Multiple Little Guys in my brain. so. im a system! im the same but....this explains why i dont remember talking to certain people SUIDHUFHX. i always felt bad. makes conversing with online friends hard especially if icons/usernames are changed. ill make a separate post about this someday thatll go into detail a bit more.

i went years thinking it was just "kinning" but it wasnt lol. it turns out that your personality completely shifting, tastes in food / music / art / media changing, the way you walk / talk dress changing, and having complete memory blackouts when you """"kin shift"""" isn't normal. /lh (dw ive had a lot of time to come to terms with this)

but basically right now ive been spending time getting to,,know myself?? iive been using simplyplural for myself for several months and im uncovering a lot of my memories / trauma ect bc alters can write down what they need to in the chat. so i can go back later and read it. its been v helpful!

i will not be coming back just yet. i have no interest in using social media rn or drawing or writing unfortunately. ive been working on my original stuff here and there but i havent been drawaing fandom stuff bc im not hyperfixating on a fandom.

also. some things have come up. im not going to say anything until the party in question is stable/safe/comfortable before i even suggest anything for context (i dont plan on talking abt anything at all unless they start talking publicly). right now i am helping someone through abuse. their wellbeing is my #1 concern. i'll think about other things after im sure theyre okay.

i dont really have any resolutions as to how things are going but i do feel better and im not having as many panic attacks. i dont really know where im going with this now sorry. just trying to brush over the basic topics before i go. idk if anybody remembers me bc ive been gone for so long so idk if im just talking into the wind but if i am thats fine honestly this is helping me reorganize my thoughts (i type these vents out a lot on docs so i probably wont remember posting this hiudhvu)

other than that. i dont draw or write anymore. i think in the past 6 months ive drawn like....5 things. its. weird. im completely disconnected from fandoms now. coming up to a full year of not having a hyperfixation at all.

my bday was on the 6th. im 27 now im very old (everybody forgot it asides from my husband (and the people he reminded) n my abuser). ive been trying to cook and bake more and ive been playing video games again. planning on getting back into drawing soon and working on my original stuff. when i come back im planning on redesigning my profiles and updating my social media bios and stuff bc theyre so old. also ill make a section on my carrd for my system. there you go theres some positivity to the update nxfjdfjh. sorry if i dont seem very enthused im very tired so typing has been a chore hfuidshuifv.

sorry that this was a lot or if it seems disjointed i was trying to put down as much into this as possible without making it too long

bye!!! see u all soon!

#vent

[kavaeroexe]

care to drop some hcs (or a drabble) for mei fu hua and kiana all turning into children bc of some lab accident and the reader is basically just this tired classmate that has to take care of all of them until they turn back to normal?

Sorry if this req seems too long and specific :,)

alright, sorry if i’m late since i need to take some break from tumblr but now i’m back! and no need to say sorry about it since i absolutely loves your idea!!

warning : typos, bad grammar

attention! please do not try to repost my works, i only post my works on tumblr, if anyone see someone stole my works please inform me through the comments, tag me in the works, or message me!    

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oh. My. God.

now look at you, holding your first cup of coffee in the morning just to see Himeko struggling with Mei, Kiana and Hua become as a kid, alright as a Valkyrie you take it easy if something weird happened, someone’s got a stand like from JOJO anime, or people got a mechanic hands, or people that could only cook bitter melon, but Kiana the bratty become a kids? ok actually its not that bad if its just- Kiana.. but how you supposed to take care of kids if Mei dan Hua that is the responsible and skillful one, become a child too!?

So you and Himeko sat on the sofa, looking at the little one’s so pure and playful, Kiana getting tamed with fried chicken, Mei who’s eat together with Kiana and Hua.. who’s clapping the mosquito around Kiana and Mei. “you know, i think its not as a bad as we think right?” 

You sighed, and continuously sipping your coffee, and then sighing again for the second time, looking at Himeko, who’s taking her can of beer in the early morning, but that is her habits, you ignore it. “When will they back to normal?” you asked, eating one of the fried chicken as well to calm your mind that already filled with imaginary stressed for the rest of your life. Himeko looking at her phones and then replying “Principal Theresa says that it could take one day or... a week.. and the worst case, it could be longer than that”

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.

so you and Himeko take turns, you took care of the kids at the day and Himeko during the night, since Himeko need her daytime to teach and you need your nighttime to sleep and rest, so deal besides Himeko loves to stay up all night, and Principal Theresa will be working on how to make Kiana, Mei, and Hua back to normal as soon as possible

.

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.

“Sorry to make you include to this horrible things..” Theresa talks to you while you holding Hua and feeding her with matcha macaroon, you nodded your head “Indeed miss Theresa, i’m super tired and i don’t like kids, so respectfully please be a little quick to find the cure about this disaster..” you state yourself, with your eyes tired and your hand shaking since you took bunch of coffee since Himeko seems doesn’t do her work well at the night time, maybe because she’s drinking so the kids cry and she doesn’t know how to calm them down, so it grows to be your job, haha...

“are you that tired, (Y/N)? i apologize for Kiana and Mei...”, “You’re suprisingly polite in your young age Fu Hua”, “Its basic manners, (Y/N)”

“(Y/N)! look what i found! Adult’s drink!!”

“KIANA DON’T DRINK IT-”

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“Mei, Hua, can you please watch Kiana? i want to take a bath now, and don’t touch anything dirty, and don’t go outside until i’m done taking a bath, get it?”

You hold Mei and Hua’s shoulder with you hands, and then leave the three of them when Mei and Hua nodded as a form of understand upon the task you gave to them, you finally walk to the bathroom, and get some quiet and peace me time, in the bathroom, but who cares, at least in the bathroom, they woud not make a proble--

“KYAA KIANA YOU BURN (Y/N)’S BOOK- (Y/N) HELPPPP”

“ITS OKAY MEI SENPAI, I JUST LIGHT THE CANDLE, JUST THAT”

Hua knocking the bathroom door so many times so that you would get out from the bathroom

“oh god....”

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nighttime, yes, that doesn’t mean you can sleep in peace, so you decide to sat on the couch, watching tv, hoping every second that nobody of them crying and wake the other

tug tug

you crossed your eyes, to see Fu Hua tugging the edge of your clothes, and then you could see her eyes, almost crying, then you make her sit beside you, offering you a hot chocolate that actually yours, but you haven’t drink it.

“Something wrong? want me to put you back to sleep?”

she shakes her head, and then sipping the hot chocolate you gave her. “I don’t want to sleep, so i can help you guarding Kiana and Mei incase they can’t sleep or having a nightmare..”

you look at her, she is kind, polite, but yet maybe because she is in a child mindset, her decision is still childish and still act like a normal small child would act as one, you know Fu Hua just being kind and polite from the start, maybe she’s grow like that from the start.

 you the ruffled her head and nodding, you don’t want to argue on what she want to do, you never like a child, so you never treat them like a child, you treat most of children as an adult which what they want to be, you don’t want to make a fuss about it, they like the way you treat them as adult, so nobody’s feelings got hurt. “alright, im happy to see you want to help me this night, remember, don’t fall asleep”

that sounds like a challenge to little Fu Hua, but pfft, you sure that she’ll be back asleep in..

.

.

1 minutes passed..

of course she haven’t show any signs of sleepy

2 minutes..

you asked her “you okay? need another hot chocolate?” “No..” “alright how about a tea? i want to make one” “alright!”

5 minutes passed..

“Fu Hua, i brought the tea- Hua? are you asleep?” “no-no!!”

6 minutes passed..

“do you like the tea?” “yes i like it, thankyou so much (Y/N).”

8 minutes passed..

“Fu Hua?” “...! yes-?” “fufu, nothing..”

10 minutes...

“Fu Hua??” “......” “Huaaa?” “....”

there you go, she’s asleep, nice

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.

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“SO THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!?”

“its so... embarassing...”

“i must...agree with you.. class president.”

in conclusion, nobody will ever turn into a child, ever again. nope that’s the last.

#honkai x reader #honkai impact #honkai 3rd #hi3rd #kiana honkai impact #raiden mei #mei honkai #honkai fuhua #fu hua honkai #fu hua x reader #mei x reader #kiana x reader

[whentherewerebicycles]

morning with the pups. I have a headache from crying but I bought myself a small treat (orange scone from panera) and managed to get some good work done this morning. I will be honest I feel Bad still but am trying to ground myself so I don’t spiral off into the deep despair again.

here are five small positive things:

I am being actively befriended by this very gruff middle-aged women’s studies faculty member who was on my search committee. I thought she hated me for the entire Zoom interview and the first seven hours of the campus visit but then in the last hour of the visit it suddenly became apparent that she liked me a great deal and just has a very brusque no-nonsense demeanor. we have been emailing back and forth all morning about this faculty pedagogy fellowship she’s leading and I think we are going to co-teach a couple workshops together. also we’re going to start going on walks together because we live so close. it’s nice to be befriended! and it’s nice to think about work as a place where I could build more friendships, especially with people who are there for the long haul.

my best friend lives so close to me now 😭 it was nice to break up the crying jags last night by going over to see her.

I’m genuinely excited to be an aunt. there is a lot of pain around it too and it is going to take some time to work through that but it will be so nice to have a baby in the family. also I am requesting nicely of the universe that if my brother & sister-in-law MUST have a baby before I do, please let the baby to be born on my birthday so we will have a special aunt/niece or nephew bond forever. I do not think this is too much to ask. ugh my heart hurts a lot but I am being brave about it.

last year I wrote a long letter of rec for my old boss/beloved grad advisor for this major mentoring and leadership award she was up for. she won the award and I guess they sent her the file with the letters attached. anyway she sent me a box of woolf & vita sackville-west books, a beautiful handmade glass vase, and a long letter where she said my rec letter made her cry and cry. it was really nice to hear from her—she’s been dealing with really scary long covid health issues since early 2020 and there was a period of time where she was in and out of the hospital so often with such serious issues I thought she might die. she is doing better now though and she says she’s retiring this year, which will be a huge loss to the university but I hope good for her. idk I was happy to hear from her and it was nice to get a surprise package of books (with more on the way, apparently).

oh friends. to quote that tumblr meme from the other day, they should invent a way out that isn’t through. I just don’t want to do the soul-work of trying to break down this grief and metabolize it and integrate it into my sense of self all over again. I’m just sad, you know? I’m sad and I’m tired of feeling sad, I want to feel otherwise, but it’s exhausting to think about clawing my way through these feelings again. I want to be on the other side of this experience and I thought I was there but I see now that I’m not, or maybe that the grief and painful agonizing uncertainty about future losses is going to keep surging back every time something reopens the wound. I feel like I’ve spent the past seven weeks swimming so hard for shore, and I’d finally managed to haul my exhausted self up onto the beach only for a massive tidal wave to crash down over me and pull me back out to sea. and I know it is just the start. liz will be pregnant soon and my SIL will have the baby and people in my social circles will continue to post their pregnancy announcements online and ugh. ugh. I just have this hugely selfish wish that everyone would hold off for like six more months so I could crawl a little further inland before the next wave hits. this is not a positive thing from the day but I can’t quite wrangle myself into feeling gratitude for all the good things in my life today. I think I’m just going to be treading water for a while.

#IUI tag

[prettybillycore]

Emergency request. Hi, I’m not sure if you do emergency requests but I hope you do. Could you make a fic where the reader has a binge eating disorder and is comforted by Asahi, Noya, and Tsukki sorry if that’s too many. Feel free to deny this request. If this topic makes you uncomfortable once more feel free to deny this request. I hope your doing well.

TW: post contains discussions of EDs. Please do not read if this is a topic that upsets you. The fic itself is hurt/comfort, but please don’t push yourself to read if you are not in the right headspace. 

Dear Anon- I have never received an emergency request, I’m so sorry that you have been struggling. I’m not sure how long this has been in my requests because I have been absent from Tumblr for some time (I only really made a return last week). Just know, I struggle with binge eating disorder as well and I feel your pain. I hope this helps you <3

Cas

CW: negative self-image, binge eating disorder, mention of a doctor's office, minor bullying, weight gain/body changes

You wanted to stop your binging episodes, but you just didn’t know how to. Which, in turn, only made you more anxious and caused you to binge more often. The people around you wanted to help, but they didn’t always know how to. However, eventually, it gets to a point where they can tell that you really need a comforting hand.

Asahi

You were always shorter than Asahi, but his towering size didn’t make you feel better about yourself. You still felt big. 

As your disorder’s symptoms worsened, you stopped coming to his practices. You were one of the managers and the younger sister of Sugawara, so this was very out of character for you.

You two had been close ever since you started high school, you were in Nishinoya’s class and it just felt natural for the three of you to hang out all the time.

You fell in love with him quickly, but it took a while for you to admit it to him. You were afraid that he might reject you, even though the rest of his team assured you that he was in love with you.

Once you told him about your crush, he fell even more in love. He thought you were the best person he had ever met. Whenever you would talk about flaws or insecurities, he would do his best to make you feel better about them, even if he didn’t know what would make you feel better about them. 

He’s already awkward about everyday stuff so he really didn’t know how to approach you about something so serious. He didn’t know what exactly was wrong, but by the looks that Suga gave him when he asked about you, he knew that it wasn’t good.

You two were both shy and quiet types anyway, so it wasn’t weird for you to take social breaks. However, this felt like it had gone past a social break and he was starting to feel incredibly worried.

It got to the point where Nishinoya said you had begun to miss all of your classes and he hadn’t seen you in a few days for more than a minute at a time. 

That was the point where he felt like he needed to intervene. He knew Suga was trying his best to help you with whatever was going on, but he thought maybe talking to him might help. Everyone needs their boyfriend in dark times.

He asked Suga where you were. Your brother said that you had decided to stay home again and you were struggling with your health. Daichi overheard part of the conversation, and he knew that Asahi would not be able to focus on practice at all if he stayed, so he let him leave early.

He got over to your house as soon as he could and knocked on the door. He was surprised when you answered it, but he was glad to see you. He took you into his arms without saying a word and you started crying.

When you told him what had been going on, you were sitting on your bed. He had his hand gently resting on yours. He listened intently to every word. He knew that there was nothing specific he could say to help the situation, but he wanted to do everything he could to make you feel better.

If you got more emotional, he squeezed your hand and when you were finished he took you into his arms again. “I don’t know what to say, Y/n, but I will always be here to listen. You, me, and Suga will figure this out together okay?”

Nishinoya

You had grown up with Nishinoya around, you were Asahi’s younger sister.

You began struggling with your disorder in middle school and as you started your first year of high school, your insecurities only grew. You just felt like the other girls had better bodies than you did. You felt like you couldn’t appreciate the good things your body was doing because the bad just felt so heavy.

Your crush, Nishinoya, was not shy about his crush on the other manager. You understood why he liked her, but you also ended up putting yourself down about it. You felt like you couldn’t ever measure up to her.

Nishinoya noticed that even though you had signed up to be a new manager, as the year went on, you hung around at practice less and less.

He knew something was wrong when you stopped sitting with the boys at lunch and you started walking away from him when he would approach you. He was loud, there was no way you didn’t hear him.

He tried to ask Asahi what was going on, but your older brother didn’t seem to know much. He knew something was off, but he didn’t know what either.

One day, Noya couldn’t take it anymore. When you tried to get away from him in the halls after school, he lunged and grabbed onto the strap of your backpack. 

“Cut the crap already, Y/n! What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting really weird!”

Leave it to Noya to cause a scene. The longer you stood there without an answer, the more people stopped and looked at your odd encounter.

“Nishi… Can we talk about this later? People are staring…”

He quirked his eyebrow and then looked around. “Huh? Oh…” 

He glared, “What are you all looking at? Go home!” 

People scrambled out of the hallway. No one wanted to deal with Nishinoya’s angry tone. You could tell that he wasn’t going to let you get away from him, so you started to explain why you had been distant. You went through everything; your crush on him, your disorder, and how you were scared to talk to someone about your problems. You didn’t want to bother him or Asahi with anything while they were in season.

You were both sitting on the floor in the hall when you finished explaining. He had been listening intensely, leaning forward and nodding along to your words. When you stopped talking, he leaned back and sighed. “Y/n… You’ll never be a bother to me. I really like you, like you like you and I want you to feel like you can come to me whenever. Asahi and I would never talk down to you about your problems. This eating thing is serious and I want to help you, I’m sure he will too. We can talk about our feelings later, let’s call your doctor, yeah?” 

You reached over and squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Noya.”

“Always, Y/n.”

Tsukishima

Tsukishima, Tadashi, and you had been friends since middle school. They were your whole world, so you followed them to Karasuno. You couldn’t imagine doing this whole high school thing without them.

There was something that started driving a wedge between you during your first year though; Tsuki’s teasing.

It was nothing new, but as your symptoms from your disorder worsened and your body changed, Tsuki took notice. Every so often, he would pick at your choice of food or the fact that your shirt didn’t fit quite right.

When you were in middle school, he picked on your height and you’d pick on him for his right back. You had thick skin and you enjoyed poking fun at your friends. Though with your disorder, Tsuki had gone too far and you didn’t know how to tell him that.

You started hanging around the boys less. Even the other kids in the volleyball club started to notice that you weren’t around. Tadashi tried to talk to you to find out what was wrong, but you wouldn’t tell him anything more than you were mad Tsuki.

When Tsuki heard this, he was confused. It didn’t take him long to find you in the library during your lunch hour. You were slumped over a table, reading a book he didn’t recognize. Some girls were sitting at a table across from you, and he could hear them making fun of your appearance. He shot them a glare and they fell quiet. 

“Tadashi told me you’re angry. What for?”

You didn’t look up from your book. “Why do you care?”

He pulled out a chair and sat down next to you. You could feel him looking at you. “Because I want to fix it.”

You put down your book at that notion. “The infamous Kei wants to apologize? Shocking.” 

He rolled his eyes. “What did I do?”

“I don’t want to talk about weight or food anymore. No more jokes about that.”

He sat back for a moment and thought about what he had said to you. He could feel the guilt washing over him as you began to explain your eating disorder. He was honestly mad at himself for not noticing sooner. You were his crush after all, why didn’t he notice your change in demeanor?

He could see tears welling up in your eyes as you finished talking. You let out a big sigh and your shoulders slumped back over as they had been when he first entered the library. “I should have noticed, I should have never joked about any of that stuff. Picking on you is no fun if you’re taking it to heart. Let’s go back to picking on each other’s heights? I’m sorry, Y/n, really.”

“I forgive you, Kei.”

“I’m glad. I’ll learn more about your condition and if anyone else says anything to you, I’ll tell them off, deal?”

You smiled. “Deal.”

#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyu #karasuno volleyball club #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima angst #yuu nishinoya #haikyuu nishinoya #nishinoya x reader #noya x reader #noya fluff #noya yuu #asahi #suga #haikyuu sugawara #sugawara kōshi #sugawara angst #anime #anime fanfic #send me asks #opening requests #requests are open #please request #bing3 eating #tw eating issues #eating problems #hurt/comfort #comfort #comforting

[fabrowrites]

20 questions for fic writers

ty @that-was-anticlimactic for the tag!!!!

tagging @rosiehunterwolf @only-lonely-stars @cboffshore @knowledgequeenabc

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

I've got 63 officially! One of those is a one-shot collection though so it's secretly like 85 :D

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

518,844 - let's see if I can break 600K this year!

3. what fandoms do you write for?

the ninjago brainrot is still going strong after 10 years!! I've also dabbled in Monkie Kid, SLA, and MP100

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

The Sun Rises Every Single Night

Oh, haven't you heard? 

Reference Letters

Oh, can I be your Bibilly Hills? 

White

Sun Rises doesn't surprise me at all, but I'm eternally shocked that "haven't you heard" is so popular. I wrote it in like a day for funsies and stuck it on tumblr, not even planning to post it to ao3, but then it blew up. it is a buzzfeed unsolved fic tho, so that might be why XD

5. do you respond to comments

what a great question :DDD I do, but not for like months afterwards 😭

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

so I think let the wild rumpus start takes the cake with this one, but it's also the first in a series so like it's gonna get better, yk? For standalone fics, my ritsu fic brother let's cry (and get it over with) is def up there, along with Dosimetry :D

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sun Rises's ending still makes me smile when I reread it!! too fast / too slow also has a happy ending planned

8. do you get hate on fics?

not quite hate, but I'll get comments in the "it's been forever since this updated" style lol. I get it i haven't updated in forever

also i've gotten comments that my nya is annoying and like. that's not hate either im just salty

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i do not!

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

not really? I've done things where characters from one fandom are put in a different fandom's world, but that's not really a crossover as much as it is an au. oh and i put ryan and shane in TLNM universe so ig that counts.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of!

12. what's the longest you've spent working on a fic? and the shortest?

*cries in Skyward* um? I didn't start you in 2014 you're still young queen

the shortest was probably Perfect World! I wrote that one in an afternoon :D ignore that it's 332 words.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yep!! I wrote fics for a telephone event early 2023, including Fang-llo, Everything for Them, and Shattered :D

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? from all fandoms?

shadolin!!!! shadolin my beloved!!! he's a horse girl and she's a system and no one is doing it like them <3

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my morro is adopted by the Smiths fic,,,,, also this one collab that never finished either augh

16. what are your writing strengths?

I feel like I'm really good at writing action scenes! I also really like figuring out pacing and how sentences flow.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

details. wym these characters have to exist in a setting??? is it not enough they are talking in the void???

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i don't think I've done it but I don't have a problem with it personally. ao3 has a skin where you can hover over words for translations too so that's kinda cool

19. first fandom you wrote for?

corey said rainbow fairies and YEAH SAME ACTUALLY. i also tried rewriting LotR as a 12 year old? fun times.

20. favorite fic you've written?

my current favorite is ceiling hung with vines hands down!! it's in the same series as Rumpus from earlier :D i also am really happy with A Heist with the Ninjagos, a CYOA fic

#fic asks #fabro cessat #fic questions

[ninjigma]

I think I am hilarious

See more of my work and exclusive content on my Patreon! Commission Status: Open! Price Sheet

Welcome! I go by Ninj and this is my main blog (find my Obi-Wan centered arts @obiscribbles and feel free to scream with me @ninjthescreamingfrog). And however you found me I am happy you are here! Below is a list of tags and links to help you navigate this blog. It will be updated regularly and have important notes on past and current/updating projects. There is also information on commissions, so please read this before contacting me.

PLEASE NOTE, before going any further, this blog may contain 18+ content occasionally (within Tumblr's guidelines anyhow), and there will be links to my 18+ content that is hosted on other sites. Please DNI if you are a minor. There is other content for you, there are ways for you to block tags, etc. If I find you interacting with such content while knowing you are underage, I will have to block you. Thank you for understanding.

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The social media I am most active on currently is Tumblr. Also, be prepared and aware I do create for other fandoms as the mood strikes. Instagram is the best example of this.

Tags + Current Projects

#Setting Suns AU is a current project tag; currently in progress and in planning as @bucketking and I yell about different things. A RexObi story, involving Obi-Wan falling to the dark side and Rex helping to found a clone faction of the rebellion with Ahsoka. Will be mostly images/inspired artwork and little ficlet things for now.

#Riduurok Comic is a current project tag; a CodyWan fan comic taking place on a planet of high seas and general pirate banthashit that usually accompanies Hondo Ohnaka. It will be released two pages each Saturday, and has no warnings besides Star Wars esq swearing and minor cuts/bruises.

#give clones lightsabers is a project tag; a ficlet series based on bookmark illustrations I have created. There are 7 Parts, each focused on a different clone as they take up their general's lightsabers to confront Palpatine. To read them in order start here and click the links at the top; and please note that the writings continue past the break in all of them, the posts were just too long not to do this.

#apples vs oranges - practice sketches based on when I show up in someone's ask box and ask them apples or oranges. If they respond to my ask, their OC is no longer safe from me.

#my ocs - for any info or references to my OCs. If you have questions about them feel free to ask, and if you made art or content containing him PLEASE credit/tag me so I can cry while reblogging it.

#promise squad - specifically my six young clone ocs who I love very dearly. I smuggle them in everywhere and I am not ashamed for it. They are my squishies 🤍

#my art - if it isn't tagged with this, I did not make it.

#my writing - this is mostly for posting links to AO3; but will also be on my ficlet writings and exclusive Tumblr ramblings.

#my comic - any single post comics will be tagged like this. Multi-part comics will be tagged specifically with a project tag to keep parts organized.

#ask questions - any questions I have had before, like a FAQ section.

#chibi - this one is just cute and I think you should check them out :)

#screaming frog - my ramblings or off topics. Generally if it's me chatting up a storm, I have become a screaming frog and will tag as such.

#commission artwork - will often be a doubled-up tag, but to filter work and see what types of commissions I have specifically done then use this tag. Everything posted is with the client's permission.

Commissions

When contacting about commissions please note that I have only just started doing them digitally, and I ask for your patience as I navigate it. Some notes/rules:

I reserve the right to deny commissions, even for something as little as it making me uncomfortable. I will draw a lot of whacky things, but are lines I don't cross (master/padawan is one of these, just as a personal thing). I will also be doing my best to draw clones reflective of Temuera Morrison, even when stylized. Call me out if you catch me missing the mark.

I can only currently take PayPal.

If your piece is anything more intensive than a chibi, I may request we stay in contact through discord (or email if you do not have discord). This ensures I do not lose the messages anywhere.

I will require payment up front. This will be discussed extensively and be based on what you want plus the initial sketch we agree on. I have had people ghost me even irl, so the online factor only makes this worse, and I will not be wasting my time nor yours.

I will more then happily draw OC content, but be prepared for a lot of questions and requests for rec sheets/descriptions, and other references I can use.

Similar to that, I will gladly do illustrations for stories, but will require more info then just the story itself. And unless it is some sort of cover art, please be specific in the scene/moment. This is an illustration, not a transcription into a comic format.

If you have any questions my ask box is always open. Or even if you just want to scream about clones or Star Wars in general, because it is always more fun to scream at the void together rather than alone.

I hope you enjoy your time here!

And if you have read this entire thing, then here is a little treat. Send me an ask with a white heart emoji, then include a prompt (ie. beach day, scary movie, cupcakes, etc.) and a clone character (such as Commander Fox or Fives), and I will create a doodle based on it. Have fun :)

#start here #master post #master list #commision info #my art