#if the holidays were not happy then i hope they were gentle | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

idyllic-ghost · 3 months

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title: Forever Yours, Faithfully pairing: lee jihoon x fem!reader genre: romance, fluff, slight angst, smut warnings: mentions of food (sushi) and alcohol, mentions of clothes not fitting (jihoon buys reader something new, but one of the items are uncomfy bc women's sizes are weird), nsfw content (make-out in hot tub, fluffy smut, unprotected sex (don't do this, wrap it up pls), oral (f receiving), slight overstimulation) synopsis: Ever since you had Valentine's day ruined for you by an ex, you decided to never pay the holiday any attention ever again. However, when your new boyfriend finds out about this, he just has to do something for you and change the connotation you have with the fourteenth. wordcount: 9.7k taglist: @enhacolor, @shuabby1994, @junhui-recs, @dkakapizzaboy, @just-here-to-read-01, @loviehan, @userjunhuii, @novalpha, @bubblymoon, @aaniag

a/n: breaking my hiatus for a moment to post this valentine's fic! this is a @svthub fic swap for @wooahaeproductions! happy valentine's day, i hope you enjoy!🩷 and a special thank you to @wongyuseokie and @strawberryya for proofing this!

see the rest of the posts for the collab here

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“... I hate it. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh. Even worse when you make me cry…”

A knock at your door interrupted Kat Stratford’s monologue on your TV screen, forcing you to look away from the movie and put down your bowl of ice cream. Pausing the romantic comedy, you listened to see if you were just hearing things - secretly hoping that was the case. However, there was another knock. It sounded cautious rather than angry, so you had no real reason to worry about who was on the other side of your door. You reached for the tissue box to dry your tear-stained cheeks and adjusted your clothes to make you look at least halfway decent. Before you had even stood up from the couch, there was yet another knock at the door.

“I’m coming!” you shouted and stood up.

You weren’t expecting anyone and silently hoped it was just your neighbor needing something and not one of your friends trying to take you out for drinks. Valentine’s Day was tough for you, it had been for a couple of years now, and you knew that your friends were only trying to cheer you up. However, when you opened the door, you were met with someone that you hadn’t anticipated.

“Hi.” Jihoon stood in front of you, fidgeting with the strap of a bag.

“Hi,” you said, trying to hide your disheveled self behind the door.

“Have you been crying?” He asked with furrowed brows.

“Oh, uh… I was just watching a movie.” You wiped your face with your sleeve. “10 Things I Hate About You… the ending always gets me.”

“Right, I’m sorry I interrupted… I know you said that you didn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, but…” He sighed and looked down at his feet. “I talked to Soonyoung, and he…”

At the mention of your mutual friend’s name, everything fell into place. He wasn’t a bad friend, not at all, but sometimes he found the most particular ways to get in your business. You knew it came from a good place. However, a warning would be nice.

“He blabbed, didn’t he?”

“Yeah…” He looked back at you. “I know it’s only been a couple of months or so, but I don’t want our first Valentine’s to be… well, this…”

“You’ve got something planned?” You couldn’t hide that you were pleasantly surprised, your joyful tone giving you away.

“It’s a bit last minute, but yes.”

You look into your messy apartment, internally fighting with yourself over whether or not letting him in was worth the embarrassment. When you look back at him, he seems patient - Jihoon always had a way of communicating without having to say a single word, his feelings coming through his expressive eyes or his gentle smile. You didn’t need to worry about making him agitated. He was always patient with you. Moving to the side and opening the door ever so slightly more, you silently invite him in.

You met Jihoon a few years ago, when you were still with your ex. The two of you never talked much, as a result of Jihoon being so introverted and your ex being a possessive jerk. The time spent with your ex wasn’t all bad, but the good times were drowned out by the bad times - such as your last Valentine’s together. Neither of you planned anything for the day, but you decided to do something last minute: dinner and a movie. When you told him of your plan, he exploded at you.

“I hate Valentine’s, okay!? It’s not my fault you think one day of pampering will fix our problems! Just go out with one of the other guys you’ve been texting- I’ve seen your messages!”

The words rang in your ears every time the holiday came, creeping back each year. Throughout the relationship with your ex, your needs were never met when you were with him. Things were different with Jihoon. Once you had broken up with your ex and a few months had passed for you to heal, Soonyoung introduced you to Jihoon again. It started slow, the two of you stayed friends for a little over a year before even considering dating. Mostly because you were still hurt but also because neither of you seemed to figure out what you both felt for each other. You remember your mutual friends’ reaction when you told them you had started dating; “Finally… we can stop pretending that you don’t make googly eyes at each other whenever you’re in the same room”, or something along those lines.

Now that you had been together for a couple of months, you didn’t understand what took you so long. Even though he was busy most of the time, he always put all of his attention on you whenever the two of you were together. However, when Valentine’s Day rolled around yet again, you didn’t plan anything. You didn’t ask or hint at anything that you wanted to do. You just let it be. That way, your heart stayed safe. Valentine’s wasn’t meant for you, or so you thought. Soonyoung had been with you through it and had been a shoulder for you to cry on from time to time. You swearing him to secrecy about the meaning of the day didn’t work when it came to Jihoon.

“What’s in the bag?” You asked and tried to take a peek.

“You’ll see.” Jihoon smiled proudly and pulled the bag behind his back, away from you. “Go get some things packed - just enough for one night. I’ll wait here for you.”

“Do I need to get dressed?”

“Whatever makes you comfortable.”

You looked at Jihoon in his usual attire - an oversized t-shirt, big pants, and slippers - and decided you could leave as you were. While throwing a few necessities in a bag, Jihoon stayed in the hallway and watched you. His proud smile never left him, and it made you all the more excited. Just the fact that he wanted to do something with you at all, and pulled himself out of work on his own accord, made you happier than you had ever been on any other Valentine’s.

Your happy jitters turned into nerves when you saw where Jihoon was driving you. A five-star hotel. Suddenly, the idea of staying comfortable over being dressed up didn’t feel very smart. It was an expensive part of town; people dressed to the nines walked up and down the streets, and you slowly sank further into your seat. As if he could sense your anxiety, Jihoon put a comforting hand on your thigh.

“We’re going in through a back door. Is that okay with you?” It was his way of reassuring you without pointing out your insecurities. “I want it to stay private. Going in through the main entrance could cause a scene.”

You nodded, although you were mostly happy to hear that you didn’t have to walk around in your sweats amongst people with thousand-dollar suits. Usually, you would’ve considered this a negative side effect of dating someone famous - but this time, it was welcomed.

“... why don’t you take a look in the bag now?” he suggested.

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to.”

“Just take a look,” he said, “I think it’ll calm your nerves.”

The bag sat between your legs, so you pulled it up to sit in your lap. Inside the bag was a beautiful green fabric. It felt expensive to the touch. When you pulled it up, you saw that it was a dress - a gorgeous, designer dress. Looking at the bag again, you finally recognize the high fashion brand.

“Jihoon…” You were at a loss for words.

“You’ll have time to freshen up inside, then you can put it on for me.” His eyes stayed on the road, but his ears turned red. “And there’s something else in there too… but you probably don’t want to pull it up in front of the window.”

You rummaged through the bag, seeing something lacy at the bottom of it. Turning to Jihoon with wide eyes, he still didn’t meet your gaze but was smiling. The two of you weren’t necessarily an innocent couple, you were not abstinent, but this was something that he hadn’t done for you before. Any nerves that you had felt before were now replaced with pure excitement. If this was just the beginning, then what else did he have planned?

The two of you made your way up to your suite rather easily. Jihoon got the keycard from the reception and helped carry your bags to the elevator. There weren’t many people around, seeing as you had just missed rush hour, and you ended up getting the elevator all to yourselves. The eleventh button was glowing. You couldn’t remember if you had ever been in a hotel room so high up. While you were lost in your thoughts, Jihoon snuck up right next to you and wrapped his arm around your waist. The bags were on the floor right by your feet, right next to the bag with your dress. The memory of the silky fabric made you smile. He had found something to your taste just for this occasion.

“I’m going to order some food when we get up,” Jihoon said. “But there’s a very nice bathroom with a waterfall shower so, if you want to freshen up before we go out later, I can postpone dinner.”

“We’re eating dinner in the hotel room, but still going out after?” You turned to him with an intrigued look. “What do you have planned?”

“It’s a secret.”

The suite was huge - which, to be fair, is what you should expect from a suite. When you walked in, you were met with the king-sized bed, its headboard against the wall. To the left of it were the windows and balcony, and if it hadn’t been for the cold, you would’ve stepped out on it immediately. To the right of the bed, the floor dipped down one step. There stood what seemed to be a jacuzzi. It was covered with a gray sheet, but the nozzle was still visible. On the other side of the jacuzzi was another small step up and a door - which you assumed was the bathroom.

“Where do you want your things?” Jihoon asked after putting his bag next to the bed.

“I’ll take it to the bathroom,” you hummed.

Jihoon gave you a small nod and a smile before handing you your bag. You carried your bag across the room to the bathroom. Once the door closed, Jihoon’s smile faded. He hated that he had to figure all of this out through Soonyoung. The history between you and your ex, the meaning of Valentine’s Day for you, and even what you wanted. It felt like he didn’t know you at all, even if you had been friends before you started seeing each other romantically. A big clump of sorrow had grown in his throat ever since he talked to Soonyoung about you earlier that day.

He was in his studio, working like any other day of the week. You had told him that you’d rather not do Valentine’s Day. That it wasn’t your thing, and Jihoon had taken that at face value and respected it. He thought it was what he was supposed to do as your boyfriend. If it weren’t for the city's decorations, he would have completely forgotten the holiday. In fact, he had forgotten that it was the fourteenth already. It was only when Soonyoung burst in with a cute bouquet that he remembered what day it was.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Soonyoung had shouted jokingly as he handed him the bouquet.

There was a small pink note attached to it. It said “Be Mine?” in curvy red letters. Jihoon scoffed at the gifts but still put them somewhere he wouldn’t forget them. The flowers had a small plastic bag with a wet paper towel wrapped around their ends, so they could make it another few hours before he put them in a vase.

“Where did you even find a floral shop right now? It’s only eight in the morning.”

“I have my ways.” Soonyoung shrugged. “What do you have planned for tonight?”

“Nothing,” Jihoon said nonchalantly.

The sudden silence from his usually loud friend made Jihoon push off one of the ear cushions of his headphones and turn to him.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re not doing anything for Valentine’s Day?” Soonyoung was unusually serious.

“Y/N said that she’d rather not do anything,” he answered. “Am I not supposed to respect that?”

“Did you ask her why?”

“I just assumed she didn’t like this kind of stuff. She doesn’t like those cheesy things.” Jihoon tried to brush off the sudden feeling of stress that he had done something wrong, but Soonyoung’s sad face only made him worry more.

“Maybe not, but you didn’t plan anything at all?”

“What?”

Soonyoung sighed, before going to make himself comfortable on Jihoon’s couch. Jihoon followed his friend’s every movement, suddenly feeling like it was hard to breathe. Had he really done something wrong by just respecting your wishes?

“I’m going to assume you don’t know anything,” he said.

“Know what?” Jihoon started getting frustrated.

“Okay, well… do you remember that guy Y/N was with a few years back?”

“You don’t have to remind me…” Jihoon sighed and leaned his head back. “Yes. I know what happened between them and that she hasn’t seen him since.”

“Yeah, but you don’t know about Valentine’s,” Soonyoung explained, “She broke up with him the day after- I don’t know all the details, but they fought about what to do on Valentine’s. She was trying to keep the relationship together, and he just snapped - said he didn’t like the fourteenth and basically made her feel like a burden for trying to patch things together.”

Jihoon put his face in his hands, trying to navigate how to handle this new information. How could he have known? Maybe he should have asked, but he didn’t want to intrude on her privacy… Everybody told him that communication is key, but nobody warned him that it would be this difficult.

“Y/N loves Valentine’s Day, as long as it’s not some cheesy thing- she didn’t lie to you about that,” Soonyoung said, “She’s just scared that if she put pressure on you about it, you’d blow up on her.”

“Why would she think that?”

“Because everyone’s not always rational.” Soonyoung stood back up and walked over to him. “Like you right now, you’re probably worrying about her not feeling safe around you. She does. She just has her problems to deal with. Instead of worrying, you should do something.”

“What? Like dinner and a movie?”

“No-” Soonyoung cleared his throat. “No. That’s what she wanted to do with her ex. Find something else.”

“What do people do on Valentine’s?” Jihoon’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to find the answer to his question in some corner of his mind.

“Wine tasting.”

“Wine tasting?”

“She’s always wanted to go, and I know a place- and the owner…” He paused and quickly added, “Well… Mingyu knows the owner, but you get my point.”

“And you think Y/N wants that?”

“Definitely. Go find Mingyu and ask him to help you out.”

“I will, thank you.” Jihoon stood up and walked over to the door but turned to face his friend again. “When did you start acting wise?”

“I’m a man of many mysteries.” Soonyoung joked. “You can thank me by letting me borrow your studio.”

“... fine.”

“Yes!” He quickly got up his phone and started tapping. “If you see me go live, no, you don’t.”

Not even wanting to think about what that meant, Jihoon left the studio with a huff.

The sound of the water turning on in the shower brought Jihoon out of his thoughts. You seemed happy, albeit nervous, so he shouldn’t have anything to worry about… but he couldn’t help worrying about you and your feelings. He would do anything to make you forget about your past connotations with today. Jihoon got out his phone and looked at his messages. “Do you know that Soonyoung’s in your studio right now?” sent in different variations from many different people… he would have to worry about this later. Tonight was supposed to be all about you, so he turned off his phone and put it back in his pocket.

You were blissfully unaware of Jihoon’s troubles as you stood in the stream of the waterfall shower. The warm water created a comforting barrier around your body. The steam from it created a mist that seemed to silence all sounds except the water hitting the floor. You could close your eyes and forget everything around you for a moment. Letting the water run over your head yet another time before turning the nozzle off, you let yourself have a moment of pure silence. Without the water running down your body, the cold air started tickling your skin. You reached outside the shower and grabbed your towel, drying yourself off before wrapping it around you.

The bathroom of the suite was as luxurious as the rest of it. There was a window, currently fogged up from the steam, facing another part of the city than the windows in the bedroom. The toilet seemed to have different settings, given the many buttons you didn’t dare touch, and the sink had a wide marble top. In a box on the sink, there were a plethora of travel-sized sample products - and you looked through their assortment before doing your skincare. You could hear Jihoon talking on the other side of the door, probably ordering the two of you room service, but his voice was too muffled for you to hear what he was saying. You wondered just how much Soonyoung had told Jihoon for him to act this way. Jihoon wasn’t neglectful. However, he didn’t always know how to express how he felt through acts of service or coming up with cute dates. The two of you spent most of your time together the way you had when you were just friends, with some changes of course. Your most precious memories with Jihoon were from the simple times; watching movies together, going out to get coffee, or laying in bed together during the morning when neither of you could get up. He knew he didn’t have to do something like this, you had told him yourself, but he decided to do it anyway. You smiled to yourself as you put on the fluffy hotel bathrobe.

When you got out of the bathroom, you looked to your left to see an entire area of the room that you seemed to have missed. Your want for a luxurious shower was bigger than your want to explore the room, it seemed. The unknown area of the hotel room had a couch with a TV in front of it and a lonely armchair standing in the corner. There was a small bar with a minifridge, and on the coffee table stood a pink, heart-shaped box and a bouquet of red roses in a vase. Beside the coffee table stood a very flustered Jihoon, looking puzzled at the sight of the box and flowers.

“Are those for us?” You asked, making Jihoon look at you.

He paused for a moment at the sight, forgetting the box of chocolates on the table, his jaw first going slack before he started smiling. Clearing his throat, he looked back at the coffee table and picked up a note to show you.

“It looks that way,” he said.

You took the note from him; “Enjoy the evening! Happy Valentine’s Day, from the staff of Prestige View,” it said in bold golden letters. You turned it around in your hand, but there was nothing else on the back.

“I told them it was a Valentine’s getaway. I didn’t think they’d do something like this so last minute,” Jihoon said and took another look at you. “Did you enjoy the shower?”

“It was the most wonderful shower I’ve had in a while.” You put down the card and approached him with your arms open. “Thank you for doing this. It’s very sweet.”

“You don’t have to thank me… I wanted to do this,” he assured you as he wrapped his arms around you.

Jihoon nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, and you could feel his cool breaths against your warm skin. You squeezed him tighter as he whispered how beautiful you looked. It was barely audible, and you silently acknowledged it by pressing a kiss to the side of his head. He pulled away from you with a small smile, his eyes sparkling with adoration. Your moment was ruined by a knock at your door and a voice shouting, “Room service!”.

“I’ll get that; make yourself comfortable.” Jihoon left your side.

You sat down on the plush cushions of the couch, practically sinking into the fabric - almost like floating on a cloud. Just as you put a blanket over your legs, Jihoon comes back with a big tray. You let out a delighted gasp as he put it down on the coffee table.

“You still like sushi, right?” Jihoon joked as he went to grab two bottles of water from the mini-fridge.

“Yes.” You looked over the large tray and the many different kinds of sushi bites.

Quickly, you patted the space beside you for him to sit down. Jihoon put the bottles on the table and sat down. You captured his face with your hands and brought your lips to his cheek for a thank-you kiss. The sudden act of affection had the man beside you stumped - barely moving while you reached for the tray with your chopsticks.

“You’re being ridiculous,” he chortled with a reddened face.

“No, am not- dish ish amashing,” you said with your hand over your mouth to hide the piece of sushi you were still chewing.

You looked over at Jihoon, who had still not touched the food. He was still stuck looking at you as if he was trying to memorize every detail of how you looked at this moment. With one hand, he reached over to your head and ruffled your hair despite your grunts of protest coming from you.

“Eat well,” he said and started eating himself.

Once the food was finished, at least as much as you could muster, and after a food coma nap on the couch, the two of you started getting ready for the mysterious evening. Whatever he had planned, Jihoon wasn’t telling you. All you knew was that he wanted you to wear the dress he had gotten you, so while Jihoon was in the shower, you picked up the bag and looked at the garments inside. It was a silky dress and lingerie with a matching color. The thought of your boyfriend knowing exactly what you were wearing under your dress throughout the rest of the evening felt exciting in some strange way.

Your fingers grazed the green fabric of the dress - you were almost too afraid to put it on. It looked expensive. A part of you wondered how he had gotten it so fast. Had he gotten someone else to get it for him? Had he gone into stores himself? Picturing it in your head almost made you start laughing. You could see him furrowing his brows at the sizes and different shapes. Mustering up the courage to put it on, you sadly find out that the underwear doesn’t fit very comfortably. And although you want to wear it for him, it would just not work. So you put on the undergarments that you had brought with you - which were not as luxurious as the ones he had bought, but they were still pretty. You had packed it at the last minute, just in case you needed it. More importantly, the dress fit you perfectly to the point that you questioned how he could pick it out.

When Jihoon got out of the bathroom, he was already dressed. His hair was still slightly damp, it was slicked back to the best of his abilities, but a few strands of hair still fell over his face. His all-black suit made you think of one of those dramas where the main female character gets together with a demon.

“You look beautiful,” he said, but his eyes drifted over to the bed where the lingerie he bought was still lying. “Are you…”

“It didn’t fit,” you answered quickly. “I put on something that I brought. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course, it’s okay.” He walked over to the bed to return the garments in their bag. “I’ll just get you a better size next time.”

“Next time?” You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

“Sure, why not?” He put the bag down on the floor and turned back to you. “I liked getting you these…”

“Well, I won’t stop you.” You walked up next to him and held onto his arm. “You look very handsome, by the way.”

Jihoon put his hand on top of yours, still holding onto his forearm, and gently squeezed it as a silent thank you. A soft squeeze of your hand was his usual way of communicating things to you that he didn’t know how to express verbally. The casual compliment proved too much for him; he avoided eye contact, and you could see his ears turning red. You would never think that this man could get so flustered the first time you talked to him. He was quiet then too, but he was calm and collected. Maybe it was a front, and maybe he was good at hiding these things from strangers - either way, you were happy that he felt a little more comfortable now.

The two of you made your way to the hotel restaurant, and you were looking for something that could tell you what you were in for. Dark hallways and furniture, lit up by elegant chandeliers in the ceiling and sleek lights on the walls, made the hotel seem endless. You and Jihoon walked in comfortable silence, mostly because you were trying to focus on finding signs. There were other people around you dressed in visibly expensive clothes, so you knew that it wasn’t a private event. However, you had no idea what kind of thing Jihoon could come up with.

At the entrance to the restaurant, you were greeted by a tall man with a slim mustache. He was dressed in the colors of the hotel and had a small name tag. You neither had the time nor energy to read what it said, as it was written in complicated cursive, and the man quickly opened the door for you after Jihoon said his name. In the restaurant, there were round tables placed in a half-circle. By each table stood two chairs, and the man by the door brought you to one by a large floor-to-ceiling window. Out the window, you could see the entire city. It wasn’t very late, so most of the windows in the buildings surrounding you were lit. The man pulled the chair out for you, and you sat down.

“Thank you,” you said, and the man walked away.

A tall candle, a small plate and knife, and a myriad of wine glasses were on the table. In front of you was a small card, and on the front of it said “Menu” in the same kind of cursive as on the man’s ineffective name tag.

“Are we eating more?” you asked with a worried glance at Jihoon.

“Open it,” he answered simply.

You opened the card and read a list of French and Italian names, most of which you couldn’t pronounce.

“Wine?” You looked back up at Jihoon with big eyes. “Is this a wine-tasting event?”

“Do you like it?”

“Are you kidding? I love it,” you said with a big smile. “Thank you, honey.”

Jihoon didn’t have time to respond as another man, dressed similarly to the man by the door, stood in the middle of the half-circle and began speaking. The murmur of the people in the room died down as everyone turned their attention to the man.

“Welcome to our Valentine’s wine-tasting event,” he said with a clear and loud voice, “I will be presenting the wines for you all tonight, along with the assortment of refreshments that go along with them. To start the night, our servers are currently providing you with an extra dry Prosecco.”

A server approached your table and poured the sparkling wine into your glasses as if on cue. The murmur started up again as everyone began talking about the wine. You thanked the waiter, and he walked away.

“This 2022 sparkling wine, made of the Glera grape, has hints of apple and honey,” the wine presenter said. “This is produced in the province of Trieste, Italy…”

The man kept talking, but you started to tune him out when he started saying words you didn’t recognize. You carefully sniffed the wine before taking a sip of it.

“Good?” Jihoon asked.

“Very good.” You put your glass down and opened the booklet of wines. “I don’t know how much I should drink of it… how many glasses are on the menu?”

“Six,” he answered. “Including the Prosecco.”

You looked at the list; Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, Merlot, Nebbiolo, and Vin Santo… yeah, you’d be drunk by the end. The glasses weren’t extremely big, and they certainly didn’t fill the glass all the way, but there was no way you’d walk out of here just barely tipsy if you drank everything.

“Drink as much as you want, okay?” Jihoon brought you out of your spiraling thoughts. “I’ll take care of you- even if I have to carry you out of here.”

You chuckled at his joke and comfortably brought the glass of Prosecco to your lips again. Jihoon was still looking at you when you put your glass down. He had a certain look in his eye that you had only really seen a couple of times before. Mischief mixed with something sentimental - playful and romantic.

“What?” You asked.

“All of this…” He motioned to your surroundings. “It suits you… it’s sexy.”

“Sexy?” You raised your brows as you raised your glass to your lips again. “Good to know.”

Jihoon looked away from you, one of his hands coming up to hide his reddened face. He let out a huff and straightened his back.

“I just mean that-”

“No, I heard you,” you teased.

Before Jihoon could get another word in, the servers came out with the next wine; Pinot Grigio, paired with small crackers with goat cheese and apricot jam. The presenter began speaking about the wine again, but your head was already buzzing, and you were far too distracted to listen to him. One of your feet was running up the inside of Jihoon’s calf. Your hand was resting on the table between you, and Jihoon quickly put his hand on top of yours.

“What are you up to?” He asked with a strained smile.

“Hm?”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” You picked up the second glass of wine as you brought your foot up higher.

You brought the wine to your lips, letting out a delighted hum before putting the glass down again. Jihoon squeezed your hand as your foot was now brushing against the inside of his thigh. Instead of backing down, you let go of Jihoon’s hand and picked up one of the crackers. A little bit of jam got on your finger as you put the appetizer in your mouth. You locked eyes with him as you put the tip of your finger in your mouth.

“You’re insatiable,” he said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shrugged and grabbed your drink again.

Jihoon shook his head slowly, picking up his glass. However, just as he started to enjoy teasing, you brought your foot back down. He gave you a confused look, trying to figure out your motive.

“Did you like the wine?” You asked, ignoring the tension growing between you.

After each glass, the soft buzzing feeling in your head grew more prominent. You got giggly and touchy - you couldn’t seem to let go of Jihoon’s hand across the table. The restaurant offered you bread and other refreshments along with your drinks and played romantic ballads over the speakers. It wasn’t like anything you had done with Jihoon before, but it was just perfect for tonight. Your teasing under the table had stopped, although you sometimes nudged your foot next to his, but the tension it had left between you didn’t break. At this point, you weren’t listening to the wine presenter nor taking his advice on how you should drink the wine. Maybe some of the wine-tasting experience was gone because of it, but you were more than content with the night still. When they brought out the Vin Santo, they also came out with a dessert; a tiramisu shaped into a heart and two spoons. Jihoon quickly picked up one of the spoons and let it sink into the dessert. The spoon dipped into the creamy dessert, ruining the layer of cacao powder laying on top. Picking the spoon back up with a perfectly bite-sized piece on it, he held it up to your mouth.

“Are you feeding me?” You asked with a giggle.

“I want you to have the first bite.” He smiled and urged the spoon toward you again.

You opened your mouth and as you closed it around the spoon, you were hit with an explosion of flavor - the strong espresso, the bitter cacao, and the sweet lady-fingers and cream. The two of you laughed, for no real reason, as Jihoon pulled back the spoon.

“This has been so nice,” you said and motioned to the last glass on the table. “But I won’t be able to finish this drink…”

“That’s alright,” he hummed. “Do you want to… go back to our room?”

“Yes, please.”

After, not so carefully, sneaking out of the restaurant while the wine presenter was talking, you walked through the long hallways towards your room. Jihoon's hand was at first only placed on your lower back, but eventually snuck around your waist to keep the both of you upright. The two of you had been drinking a lot, but the long walk helped sober you up just a little. You'd definitely get a headache in the morning, but it wasn't something you couldn't handle. As the two of you finally got to your hallway, you were ready to throw yourself in bed - but Jihoon apparently had other plans.

“I still have another surprise for you, you know.” He held your waist firmer, keeping you close to his side. “They should’ve set it up for us in the room by now.”

You excitedly giggled as you watched Jihoon fumble with the keycard before unlocking the door. As soon as he opened it, the smell of roses hit your nose. By your feet laid a trail of red rose petals, which was leading you into the room. You followed the trail with careful steps and looked up as they came to a stop. The jacuzzi was now turned on and bubbling. In the water, even more rose petals were floating. Jihoon came up behind you and wrapped his strong arms around your waist.

“Is it okay?” He whispered next to your ear.

“It’s perfect,” you answered softly and with a warm smile. “If this is last minute, I can’t even imagine what you could do with time on your hands.”

“You could find out,” he suggested and pressed a kiss to the area where your neck meets your shoulder.

Jihoon’s words, although softly spoken and barely over a whisper, sent a shiver down your spine. His hands played with the fabric of your dress, and you leaned back against his chest to fully welcome his embrace. The soft kisses he was placing on your shoulder and neck didn’t stop, and you leaned your head to the side to allow him more access.

“I’d love to keep this going,” you whispered. “But I don’t want to waste all this.”

Your boyfriend sighed and let you go, the absence of his arms leaving a chilly imprint around your waist. You went to take off your shoes. After putting your feet on the floor, you looked up to see Jihoon taking out his button-up from his pants to unbutton it. You watched in anticipation as he shrugged off the shirt, watching the muscles in his back move as he did. He threw his shirt on a chair before unbuckling his belt, all while being unaware of you ogling at him. When his pants had been unbuttoned, he finally looked back at you - at your fully dressed form.

“Are you going to make me get in alone?” He asked.

“I…” You paused to find an excuse. “Well, since I didn't have time to get you a Valentine's Day present, I thought you could unwrap me instead.”

"Ah, so that's the only reason you were just standing there looking at me?" Jihoon teased.

"Definitely." You nodded, content with your answer.

Jihoon motioned for you to come over to him, which you quickly did. You had no trouble unzipping yourself from this dress but getting a little help never hurt. His hands made work of your zipper, slowly dragging it down your back. The soft touch of his fingers tracing the edges of your lingerie had your head buzzing more than the amount of wine you had been drinking.

“Thank you,” you murmured and let the straps slide off your shoulders.

It always felt a little nerve-wracking to get undressed in front of him - being vulnerable with him like this was still somewhat new to you. Nevertheless, the feeling of him embracing you again comforted you.

“You look beautiful,” he said. "I thought it'd be fun to buy lingerie for you, but letting it be a surprise might be better..."

You got out of his grip and turned to him, putting a hand on his chest to prevent him from wrapping his arms around you again. Jihoon was grinning like a love-sick fool - an expression that you hadn’t seen much of before, but that you could definitely get used to.

“Stop fooling around,” you said. “We haven’t even gotten in the hot tub yet…”

"Then let me finish unwrapping my present," he argued with a flirtatious tone.

You let your hand fall to your side, allowing Jihoon to approach you again. His hands went behind your back, playing with the edge of your lingerie again before unhooking the bra. He took his hands back from behind you and gently, almost innocently, pulled the straps of your bra down. The garment fell to the floor with a soft thud. Jihoon brushed your hair to the side, pressing a few kisses on your neck before trailing them down your clavicle; down between the valley of your breast, over your stomach. When he was down on his knees, he looked back up you - silently asking for permission as he played with the hem of your panties. You nodded, and Jihoon pressed a kiss to your hipbone before pulling them down.

After getting fully undressed, and after Jihoon grabbed the box of chocolates and two bottles of water, you sat down in the jacuzzi. With one hand, he opened up the box and put the lid on the floor. He picked up a random piece and put it in his mouth, making a weird grimace.

“Not good?” You asked.

“No.” He shook his head. “Could you hand me the water?”

You picked up one of the bottles for him, unscrewing the top and handing it to him before you grabbed the second bottle for yourself. Drinking the cold water contrasted nicely with the hot bath. While it didn’t help you to sober up completely, it helped you clear your head a little.

“Sad to let them go to waste…” you said as you put the cap back on your bottle, and he hummed in agreement.

“I’ll take them with me, maybe someone else likes them.” He put down the water bottle and offered to put yours down as well, which you gladly accepted.

Jihoon let out a sigh and leaned his head back, while you moved over to sit beside him. One of your hands caressed his chest and landed on his shoulder, while your head rested on his other shoulder. Jihoon wrapped one of his arms around your frame, trying to pull you impossibly close.

“Tonight was perfect,” you confessed.

“You’re talking like the night’s over.” He turned his head to look at you.

“It’s not over?”

“It doesn’t have to be.” Jihoon cupped your face in his palm, bringing your face closer to his.

The two of you looked into each others’ eyes before he suddenly broke out into an embarrassed fit of giggles. His forehead leaned against yours.

“Sorry… that was cheesy, wasn’t it?” His thumb was caressing your cheekbone, slowly going back and forth over the soft skin.

“It was sweet,” you assured him. “But a little bit cheesy, yes.”

He let out another short laugh and turned away from you, suddenly very shy. Your hand left his shoulder to turn his face back to you. The way that he looked at you drowned out all sound, even the sound of the hot tub jets, and for a moment you let yourself be engulfed by bliss. It wasn’t how you had imagined spending Valentine’s Day - it was better than you could have imagined. You wrapped your arms around Jihoon’s neck and brought him closer for a kiss. At first, it was gentle, practically just a peck, but then you grew hungry. In a sudden need for more, you pressed your lips against his again. Your lips danced for dominance, all the while Jihoon gripped your hips to maneuver you to straddle his lap. Everything was spinning, you found yourself completely lost in his kiss - only for Jihoon to break it, the feeling of him smiling against your lips making you smile as well.

“What?” you asked, out of breath.

“Nothing,” he said. “Just you.”

You rolled your eyes at his comment, but couldn’t help your smile growing wider. Jihoon pressed another kiss to the corner of your lips, then on your jaw, down your neck, and on your clavicle. Exploring every inch of you that he could reach, Jihoon pulled you in closer. The action made you come closer to his already hardened cock. Testing out the waters, you started slowly grinding against him. Between lingering kisses against your skin, Jihoon let out soft groans and whimpers - it wasn’t even in his head to tell you to stop. Your fingers raked through his hair, silently urging him to keep going.

“Jihoon.” You let out a shaky breath. “Baby…”

“What?” He pulled away and looked up at you, pupils blown out to double their normal size and hair messy by your doing. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes,” you whimpered. “I need you.”

“In here?” He looked amused at your sudden desire. “Right now?”

“I don’t care-”

In a split second, Jihoon manhandled you to sit with your back against his chest. Water splashed around the tub, possibly spilling off the edge as laughter spilled from your lips. One of Jihoon’s arms was wrapped around your waist, while his other hand was spreading your thighs apart. His lips were back on your neck again - his kisses and his fingers drawing patterns on the inside of your thigh were making you dizzy.

“Is this okay?” He asked.

“Yes.”

At this point, you were aching - the simple touch of his hand where you needed him most had you falling apart. While his middle- and ring finger circled your clit, his other hand ran across your body. Jihoon was everywhere, there was no way you could escape him - so you let yourself be engulfed by all of him, slowly sinking into your body. Your mouth hung open, and your moans and whines were impossible to hide. His hot breath fanned against your neck, teeth grazing against the delicate skin before his soothing tongue made contact with it. His other hand reached your chest, fingers circling your nipple. Suddenly, in desperate need to ground yourself, you grabbed his hand. Your breath hitched in your throat as his fingers plunged inside you, his palm still grazing against your clit. The grip you had on his hand tightened, and you could feel him smiling against your neck. Jihoon’s hand moved expertly as if he already knew every crevice of your body - and where his touch would drive you mad. Your hips stuttered against his hand.

“There you go,” he murmured in your ear. “Fall apart on my fingers, baby, you can let go.”

The feeling of him lightly biting down on your earlobe, and the persistent thrusting of his fingers, made something snap in your lower stomach. A wave of pleasure washed over you, your body moving on its own against his hand. You could hear water splashing on the floor, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care about it at that moment. Jihoon left his hand in between your legs, letting you ride out your high against it. His other hand lovingly held onto yours still, not even planning on letting go unless you did so first.

“Are you alright, darling?” His velvety voice brought you back to the real world.

As soon as you tried to move, Jihoon helped you to move your legs to sit across his lap. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you finally found your voice.

“I’m more than alright,” you answered.

One of Jihoon’s hands rested on your back, while the other held your legs. In his arms, you were safe - you had a feeling you always would be. You snuggled your face into the crook of his neck and closed your eyes. However, the feeling of something hard pressing against your thigh had your mind drift off to other things.

“Jihoon?”

He hummed in response.

“Could you help me get to bed?”

“Tired already?”

“Not a chance.”

The two of you managed to get out of the hot tub and dry off quickly - not caring about being completely dry before moving over to the bed. Plush pillows and covers welcomed you as you practically jump into them. You held out your arms to Jihoon, and he quickly came to your embrace. Leaning over you, his hair fell in front of his face - but he didn’t seem to mind. Instead of brushing it to the side, he leaned down and placed a kiss on your lips. Clearly, he had a more important objective, and so it was up to you to brush his hair away from his face. You held it back, intertwining your fingers in his locks, and he let out a delighted sigh as your nails gently scratched against his scalp.

“Let me take care of you too,” you suggested as you broke the kiss.

For a moment, Jihoon considered it. He couldn’t deny that he loved having your lips wrapped around his cock, or even just your hand, but he couldn’t forget why he was here in the first place.

“Tonight’s about you,” he reminded you. “Just relax and let me take care of the rest.”

You couldn’t exactly say no to that kind of proposition. One of Jihoon’s hands traveled down your body again, separating your legs for a second time tonight. You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him closer. The soft and slow was nice, but now you were getting antsy. A smile flashed across Jihoon’s face, which he tried to hide by biting down on his bottom lip. Showing him your unabashed want for him was something he’d never get used to. As he lined himself up with your core, you moved your hands to grip onto his shoulders. The stretch of him entering still managed to feel like the first time you had been with him like this. As he bottomed out, you let out a guttural moan - still sensitive from your earlier orgasm.

“Fuck, you feel amazing…” Jihoon rested his head in the crook of your neck.

Having struggled through the entire night, trying not to take you on the couch earlier or even on top of the restaurant table, this alone was almost too much. The sting from your nails digging into his back cleared up his fogged-up head slightly, and he started moving. Jihoon’s movements were slow, agonizingly so, but if he moved any faster he was afraid he might cum on the spot. This entire night had been a tease for him, and now that he finally got what he wanted he didn’t know how to act. Jihoon lifted his head and looked at your face. Your eyebrows were furrowed, your eyes shut tight, and your bottom lip slipped between your teeth. Brushing his thumb against your cheek, and cupping your face in his palm, your eyes fluttered open to look at him.

“Please, Jihoon,” you whimpered. “Just a little faster?”

How could he say no to you? His hips picked up their pace, while his head was back in the crook of your neck. You let out a surprised moan as his teeth dug into your skin, as he tried to contain himself. How could you look more beautiful every time he laid his eyes upon you? Jihoon swore that you’d kill him someday if it continued like this. He leaned back up on his arm. The hand that wasn’t holding him up went to grab your thigh, pulling one of your legs up to rest on his shoulder. A string of swears flooded out of his mouth, and he switched positions so that he was sitting up. Your hips were pulled up on his thighs, your back arched up from the bed, and your jaw went slack as Jihoon’s hips pistoned into you - hitting a spot inside you each time that made you see stars. Your hands went to grab something, anything and landed on the sheets. The white fluffy sheets creased under the pressure of your grip. You couldn’t hold it in anymore - between managing to hit your g-spot with each thrust and your previous orgasm, you were getting all too close to the edge.

“Oh- shit,” you moaned. “I’m gonna cum-”

“Cum for me, baby,” he groaned in response.

Your body twitched as you let go, cumming a second time this night. Jihoon, filled with a sudden determination, didn’t stop. He switched positions to lean over you again. The more intimate position allowed you to grab onto him again. Even when you had come down from your orgasm, he didn’t stop - and you weren’t about to tell him to to do so.

“Give me another one,” he practically begged.

“I can’t-”

“Yes you can, darling,” he growled. “Just let go of everything, just focus on me.”

Your legs were around his hips again, and your arms wrapped around his neck. Jihoon leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes staring into your soul. One of his hands slipped between your bodies, messily rubbing your swollen clit. You felt like you were about to explode, spasming at his movements.

“Fuck- I love you,” he groaned, “Cum for me again, darling- cum with me…”

At his command, your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you came for a third time. Jihoon followed shortly after, pulling out to cum on your stomach. He threw his head back as he pumped his cock with his fist. Your limbs were unmovable, falling to the bed with a thump. His words rang in your ears. “I love you”. Was it a slip-up? Something that just happened in the heat of the moment? Or did he mean it? You didn’t have much time to think about it. Jihoon placed a kiss on your forehead, mumbling something about getting you cleaned up, before he got off the bed and went over to the bathroom.

Jihoon came back with the forgotten water bottles from before and a warm, wet towel - cleaning you up with a gentle touch, making sure that he wasn’t too rough with your aching body. When he was done, helped you under the covers before he got in himself. The water bottles were standing on the bedside table, waiting for you tomorrow morning when you’d need them most. You lay on your side, and Jihoon curled up next to you - his arms wrapped around your frame. The words he had spoken never left your thoughts. Jihoon, unaware of your spiraling thoughts, cuddled closer to you, but your stiff body caught him off guard.

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” He asked quickly.

“No- no… I’m fine,” you said. “It’s just… did you mean that?”

“What did I say?” Jihoon’s eyes widened.

“When you-… before-… you said ‘I love you’,” you mumbled.

With his body lying so close to you, you could hear his breath hitch. A moment of silence passed between the two of you. Jihoon’s fingers were nervously drumming against your back, you could almost hear the gears in his brain turning to think of something to say. He stirred around the bed, moving to look at you. There was no regret in his eyes, only worry.

“I’m sorry-”

“I love you too.”

Jihoon let out a short breath, which turned into a relieved laugh. The sound of his laugh made you relax, melting into his embrace again. You were struck with a sudden wave of embarrassment, hiding your face in his chest. He put his chin on the top of your head, wrapping his arms tighter around you.

“I didn’t mean to let it slip out like that,” he murmured. “I mean- I was planning on telling you, just not… like that.”

“I know,” you said and adjusted yourself to look back at him again.

Jihoon’s body relaxed under your hands, his muscles releasing any sign of tension. There was a little voice in your head, anxiously asking “What now?”, but you decided to ignore it for now. At this point, you had no reason to worry. You had an entire future ahead of you, and you got to spend it with the man lying next to you. It was more than you could ask for. Suddenly, Jihoon got a weird look on his face - as if he had just remembered something important that he had forgotten to do.

“Shit… did I forget to ask you to be my Valentine?” he asked.

You thought back to the day, trying to remember if he had ever carried out the silly tradition, and couldn’t recall that he had asked you.

“I think so,” you hummed. “You have to hurry, the day’s almost over.”

There wasn’t a clock nearby that you could check, it might have already been the fifteenth, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. Jihoon cleared his throat ceremoniously and tried his best not to burst out laughing again.

“Will you be my Valentine, Y/N?”

“I’ll always be your Valentine, Jihoon,” you answered.

Quiet laughs echoed through the big room, as the two of you lay in bed talking until you fell asleep.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . ⁺ 　 ✦ B O N U S ✦ ⁺ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . ⁺ 　

"Sooo?"

Jihoon hadn't even noticed that Soonyoung had approached him, or that he was even in the building, and jumped a little as the man came up beside him.

"So what?" Jihoon kept walking towards the elevator.

"How was the date?"

"Good."

"Just good?"

"Yeah."

The two of them stood in silence, both of them waiting for the elevator to reach their floor. Jihoon adjusted his sunglasses and hoodie, trying to not avoid the bright lights as much as possible. He had wanted to stay at the hotel with you, to spend a quiet morning in bed together was all he wanted. However, when he's suddenly called into an important meeting he can't just ignore it - no matter how much he wanted to. Jihoon let out a quiet sigh. You were probably still in bed right now. He had paid the hotel to make sure you could take as long as you wanted to get up, all you had to do was leave the keycard in the reception before you left. As Soonyoung started whistling, Jihoon seriously started to regret not giving into your pleading to stay in bed with you. He'd kill to get to still be under those covers - he'd even let you press your cold feet against his warm body if it meant that Soonyoung would just stop whistling.

"Would you stop that?" He hissed.

"Damn... you woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Soonyoung huffed. "Poor Y/N... she probably can't even walk, right?"

"What?"

"Because of the hangover," he explained. "If you're like this, I can only imagine what it's like for her. How much did you drink last night?"

Jihoon stayed quiet.

"Wait, what did you think I meant?" Soonyoung asked with a knowing smile.

"Shut up," Jihoon groaned.

"I'm just joking, come on!" He poked Jihoon's arm. "Did you bring me back a souvenir?"

Jihoon, struck with a sudden wave of evil genius, reached into his bag and took out the weird-tasting chocolates. He handed them to Soonyoung, who giddily accepted them.

"Chocolates? For me? Gosh, you're such a romantic!"

Finally, the doors to the elevator opened with a pleasant ding. The two idols walked in, still completely silent. Seokmin came running down the hall, holding his hand out and shouting at them to hold the elevator. Jihoon held his hand out before the doors could close, and the younger man managed to get in just in time.

"Thank you," he said breathlessly.

The elevator started going up, while the three of them stood in silence. However, Seokmin quickly took note of the big pink box Soonyoung was holding.

"Who gave you chocolates? Isn't it a little late."

"Jihoon got them for me," Soonyoung bragged.

"Is that true?" Seokmin looked over at Jihoon who nodded. "Wow, I almost thought you'd bite his head off after Soonyoung's live yesterday... I mean I know it was Carat Day, but I didn't expect you to do that in..."

Soonyoung tried to shush the younger man, but it was already too late. Jihoon sighed, and turned his head to the elevator doors again. Maybe turning off his phone for the night wasn't the best idea, even if it was worth it to spend a quiet evening with you.

"Soonyoung," Jihoon said with a stern voice. "What did you do in my studio?"

650 notes · View notes

celesterayel · 4 months

Text

goodbyes & waiting | luke castellan

pairing : luke castellan x aphrodite!reader

request: happy holidays! could you write a luke x aphrodite reader? (maybe with angst?) <3

IN WHICH — there are the moments you shared and the sadness that came after.

"trust that you betrayed, confusing that still lingers. you took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers" - o.r.

w.c. 1k

warning(s) : lots and lots of angst ゜✭・.

✩ ‧₊˚ author's note this act hurt me so much in the feelings. I've never written something so angst, hope you enjoy it tho, love :)

your heart didn’t hurt, it burned.

you wished you could tear the wretched thing out and never feel anything again but it remained there, silently killing you from the inside out. in your palm lay a small pendant, not the prettiest thing by any means and resembling more like something you’d find at a second-hand store. the chain was thin and dull but at the center lay a small heart of twine and charms. your finger brushed over it, as if attempting to soothe your own heart, a manifestation of your pain literally.

god, you wanted to burn it to the ground. you wanted to scream so loudly and raw that you’d scream your vocal cords out of your throat. you wanted to scream at the gods–fuck them and fuck the fates–and most of all, at him.

had it meant nothing to him? this…whatever it was between you two? how could he have left you so brutally? without a second thought.

the pendant burned in your hand but you’d sooner kill yourself than part with it. it was the last thing you had of luke castellan. the boy who had loved you at your lowest, who once would have rather burned the world than let it hurt you. but he had hurt you and with the blow of godliness that ran in his blood.

you never did see it coming.

✩ ‧₊˚

you had first arrived at camp a year before percy jackson appeared. no sooner than you did, were you claimed by your mother, the goddess aphrodite. and unlike how the poets and half bloods describe it, children of aphrodite were not all inherently blessed with grand beauty. rather you were made to be beautiful in the way extraordinary things are: ingrained into the brain like a itch in a way so profound.

something about you entranced others, maybe the way you spoke or how you approached everyone like they were someone you had known since forever, you were just always a shining light for others to flock too. something so incredibly enchanting, gentle like the breeze of the camp waters.

luke was the first person to approach you after being claimed, the same boyish smile you’d later fall in love with on his face.

“the names luke castellan. yours?” he breathed out, something about the way he looked at you like you were every enchanting thing in the form of a person made your heart sing.

you knew that your heart would belong to him every moment after.

something in the way he looked at you like you were his forever after made you feel complete. like you weren’t so alone in this world made of monsters and man, godless beings of hunger and pain. and it seemed like he knew it too because there was a knowing in his eyes, a connection between you too that would hurt for every lifetime and the next.

you and luke only grew closer after and where you went he followed. where he strayed, you wandered. secrets moments shared beneath candlelights with his hands on your waist and yours bunched in his hair.

“your my forever, you know that right?” he’d whisper against your lips, trying to breathe you in like you’d disappear from his arms.

you’d just kiss him harder like his words could burn themselves to your lips. like he could burn himself into your very being and never leave you. one day you’d tell him he’d already had.

moments by the lakes where he’d hold you against him and you’d rest on his shoulder like it was the only place you’d ever need. trinkets you’d find when you’d go exploring with the littlest campers that you gifted to him and he kept like they were the grandest of treasures. times when he’d cry into your shoulder and you’d just hold him all the more closer like you could take the pain. the pendant he had spent months and late nights learning to craft from hand to give you. you planned out your future together late, late into the night when you couldn’t sleep: maybe someday he’d whisk you away to visit paris or to see the great big apple–only later you’d go without him.

holding you so tightly, he’d ask, “where would you want to go if we ever leave here?”

“anywhere you go.” the late nights near the lakes always made it seem like your cocoon, a safe haven from everything else. nights like these only made you fall in love with him more.

“yes, but if you could pick anywhere, where would you want me to take you, “ he huffed out, chuckling.

you grab his hands and press a kiss to his lips, tasting freedom and fire all in one breath. kissing luke was always electric, every want and lightning burn in one breath, one touch.

you leaned back, before contemplatingly saying, “i’ve always wanted to go to see the city lights in the big apple.”

“i’ll take you one day.” it was a promise. a future for you both.

“i’ll hold you to that.”

✩ ‧₊˚

but it never did happen.

✩ ‧₊˚

you remember the scream you felt bottled in your throat when you found out what had happened. the looks the others had given you when percy told you what luke had done. why he wasn't here with you guys. why he wasn’t here with you.

the betrayal hurt more than anything you had ever felt. parts of the pieces of the future you had made crumbling as quickly as you both had made it. the trinkets you had given him were gone just as he was.

as the months passed, here you stayed as the others left. hoping that by some miracle, your golden boy would return to you. that'd he'd come back ready to make good on his promise. he’d return to the lake where you had once built your future but he never did and the scream in your throat never left.

you promised me, luke.

footsteps approached you and there at the bottom of the hermes cabin stood percy jackson, “y/n, it’s time to go.”

he looked at the pendant in your hands before giving you a sad smile. he knew your history and your pain–once upon a time, luke had been his first real friend.

you wiped the tears that had fallen down your cheeks and slipped the necklace back onto your neck. you couldn’t bear to part with it, not even after all this time, after all these moments.

you looked behind you to the cabin one last time—breathing in the old memories and letting them go one last time—before you turned back around.

“let’s go.”

in the end, your golden boy had been far too much like his father and you were the one to be left waiting.

#luke x reader #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan #luke pjo #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan x you #charlie bushnell #pjo series #pjo fandom #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson show #pjo x you #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo #angst #too much angst #god damn #this act hurt me so bad

855 notes · View notes

starvity · 4 months

Text

— ☆ zb1 reacting to being pushed with their (crush) best friend under the mistletoe

gn!reader x zb1 (ot9)

genre: fluff, drabble // warnings: kissing and flirting ofc, mention of food in yujin's (ps: his is not as romantic because i just thought it was more appropriate that way!!)

author’s note: happy holidays and merry christmas to those who celebrate!! here is my little gift for you <3 (★ω★)/

ੈ✩‧₊˚ jiwoong

probably stares into your soul like sooo when are we kissing… he’s pretty casual about it, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and smiling softly, waiting for you to give him the green light. when you do kiss though he’s super giggly and he will be clingy for the rest of the evening.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ zhang hao

he is so nonchalant about it. will tease you about how you planned all this just because you were dying to kiss him so bad (he is just trying to take your attention away from his red ears). when your hands cup his face he immediately freezes though, his eyes not being able to leave your lips as you lean in.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ hanbin

hanbin just naturally smiles a lot but after he gets pushed under the mistletoe with you he would just be giggling uncontrollably. he reassures you that you don’t have to do anything if it makes you uncomfortable but he’s still holding onto your hand, hoping that you would close the gap between you and him.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ matthew

matthew will panic so much, immediately tackling his friends who pushed him towards you. the embodiment of ahah i won't kiss my best friend, are you crazy!!!!! unless.... *curious gaze*. will try to brush it off if you seem too nervous or uncomfortable but if you definitely show him that you want him, he will not hesitate to cup your cheeks and pull you closer.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ taerae

he is so serious about it, immediately puckering his lips and leaning in (cue that bbangiz live). taerae looks so invested and expressionless that you think it's a joke so when you start laughing he's like okay lol but when are we kissing? if you want to make him blush, play the same game as him. if you flirt back he will immediately panic and run away hehe

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ricky

rizzy will flirt back OF COURSE (i am not calling him that ever again). he's so gentle though, one hand in yours and the other on your waist, slowly pulling you closer while analysing if he sees any sign of discomfort from your side. after your lips touch though, he goes full on lovelicky mode; blushing cheeks, giggles and reddish lips.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ gyuvin

gyuvin is literally the O_O emoji. his big round eyes telling you everything about the chaos that is going on in his mind at that moment. oh if you want to make him melt, grab him by the collar of his shirt to make him duck down to your height and kiss his nose. there you have him wrapped around your finger and 3 seconds won't even pass before he picks you up to kiss you properly.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ gunwook

gunwook is ready to risk it all to be honest. probably chuckles a little, dropping a flirty comment or two to test the mood before he casually pecks the top of your head. you wrap your arms around his neck and he thinks that you are just going in for a hug so when you softly peck his mouth, his cheeks turn a bright shade of red.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ yujin

glares at whoever pushed him towards you, hands reaching for a chip in the bag he was eating, followed by a deep sigh. you immediately take the opportunity to tease yujin, poking his rosy cheeks with your finger before you get cut off by him shoving a chip into your mouth. you two will end up making fun of each other during the entire party, while fully aware that your friendship took quite a different turn that night.

#starvity.text #zerobaseone #zb1 #zerobaseone imagines #zerobaseone drabbles #zerobaseone reactions #zerobaseone fluff #zb1 x reader #zb1 imagines #zb1 reactions #zb1 drabbles #zb1 scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #kpop drabble #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff

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fayes-fics · 5 months

Text

It's That Time Of Year

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: It's that time of year... when you could use a fake boyfriend.

Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, oral sex (m to f), vaginal sex, dirty talk, hand as gag, quiet sex, sex in childhood bedroom. Fake dating, family dynamics, lots of feelings, friends to lovers.

Word Count: 11.3 k (eek Im sorry)

Authors Note: Here's my tropetacular winter 2023 Benepic! Request fill for @broooookiecrisp (HERE), who wanted fake boyfriend trope with Benedict accompanying the reader to the USA to spend Christmas with her family. I hope you like it, my dear. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy and happy holidays! 🎄

December 20th

“Thank you,” Benedict clinks his champagne glass against yours, “for everything.”

You blush and look down from his intense blue-eyed gaze, staring instead at the untied bowtie around his collar that seems almost more attractive than when fastened.

“It was nothing,” you demure.

“It was not nothing!” he scoffs, giving you a gentle shoulder bump as you both lean on the high-top table.

“Alright, it was my job then,” you modify, giving him a modest smile as you hotch slightly - beautiful though they are, you cannot wait to take off these high-heels.

“And you are excellent at your job,” he asserts before downing the rest of his champagne and refilling both glasses from the bottle before you.

He is lingering much longer than you thought he might, long after all his family and all the guests have left. The event was over a while ago, and all around you, the venue staff are clearing tables and stacking chairs.

Tonight was indeed a rousing success. Your first-time event managing the end-of-year fundraising gala for the Bridgerton Family Foundation, they hit a new record amount raised. Standing next to you is the newly minted CEO of that organisation, Benedict Bridgerton, looking far too dashing in his custom-fitted tuxedo. Empathetic and naturally in tune with the needs of others, he is indeed the perfect replacement to run the charitable arm of the family business now that his mother has decided to retire. In previous years, you both took deputy roles - him to his mother, you to your old boss - this was the first year you both stepped up to the plate to run things, and if you do say so yourself, you have both done an excellent job of it. A delightful working partnership built on years of friendship since meeting at university as an exchange student.

“You deserve a long Christmas break after this,” he breezes.

“Going home to the States in a couple of days,” you nod. “I’m both looking forward to it and dreading it in equal measure, to be honest,” you confess, this second glass of champagne acting like a truth serum. You didn't want to or even get the chance to drink earlier, but a little tipple to round off the rewarding night is lovely, especially in present company.

“How come?” he seems genuinely curious, his forehead knitting adorably. Of course, he wouldn't understand; he comes from an idyllic family.

“I am very much the black sheep,” you shrug, twirling a finger absent-mindedly around the rim of your glass. “Being childless, unmarried and single at thirty-three in a midwestern family is unheard of and thus the subject of much ridicule.”

“Wow,” his eyebrows shoot up, “that's…,” he hesitates.

“Judgemental? Parochial? Small-minded?” you supply dryly on his behalf.

“I was going to say traditional… but sure, those work too,” he chuckles.

You giggle a little, then sigh. “So a mixed blessing, really. It's nice to see them all; I just wish they were a bit less them, you know?” you gesture vaguely into the air.

“A boyfriend would really take the heat off?” he queries.

“Hah!” you can’t contain the bubble of amusement at the mere thought. “Chance would be a fine thing. But, yes, that likely would take the edge off the worst of their barbs.”

“Well, I’m at a loose end,” he comments, seemingly changing the subject. “The family is spread to the four corners of the globe this Christmas. Mum is going to Costa Rica for a retired ladies' trip with Lady D. Don't ask,” he adds amusingly, holding up his hands. “Kate and Ant are taking their kids to Lapland, and my various siblings are travelling or staying with partners. Weirdly, it’ll be our first Christmas apart. At least we will all reunite for New Year's at Aubrey Hall.”

“Aww, that sounds nice,” you offer neutrally.

“What I'm saying, y/n, is…,” he continues slowly as if waiting for the penny to drop, “if you need a fake boyfriend, I am available. It’s the very least I can do after all of this,” he explains, gesturing around the room. “Plus, it might be novel to experience a typical American Christmas,” he shrugs casually.

You can’t help it; you gape at him. Completely floored. The idea is utterly left-of-field and yet so exciting your heart pounds. If there is one downside to working so closely with Benedict these last few months, it has been the exponential growth of your inappropriate feelings for him. He is so sweet and handsome; no one would be immune, frankly. It was bad enough when you were at university together; now, well, it’s slightly lethal. Your mind boggles at him playing the role of a doting boyfriend; your body, however, seems very enthused, a warm flush creeping over your skin at the mere thought.

He chuckles nervously, a likely reaction to your stunned silence. “Listen, it was just a silly suggestion; you don’t have t-”

“Yes!” you squeak, interrupting and grabbing his jacket cuff boldly when he seems to be withdrawing. “Please,” you add almost as an afterthought, unsure how to thank someone for such a generous offer.

His face breaks out into the most handsome grin.

“Excellent! Then, it's a date!” he exclaims, tilting his glass towards yours again. “Well, a fake date,” he amends with a lopsided grin that makes your stomach flip.

Oh god. What am I letting myself in for?!

___

December 23rd

“Are you sure about this? You can still back out...” you offer, fidgeting in the bag-drop queue at Heathrow three days later.

“Please. What else am I going to do? Sit around my flat, billy-no-mates, and eat a sad M&S ready meal?! You are literally rescuing me,” he counters, probably exaggerating for your amusement.

Very much following the motto of not looking a gift horse in the mouth, you had texted Benedict your flight details that same night, and he has made it all happen in the hours since. Somehow, he managed to wave the Brigerton magic wand and secure what was probably the last seat on your direct flight two days before Christmas. Unluckily for him, he has to slum it in economy with the rest of the plebs like yourself. He couldn't even get a seat near you; he's stuck down the back, in the middle, near the galley.

“How about we swap seats at least?” you offer, guilt creeping in, looking at your printed boarding pass. Not only is Benedict doing you a favour, but he’s also pretzelling his tall self into an uncomfortable seat. The least you can do is offer him your aisle seat.

“I’ll be fine,” he dismisses, waving a hand and fishing out his passport as you are called to the desk.

“Travelling together?” the pretty, painted lady breezes at you, holding out a perfectly manicured hand to take your passport and ticket. Then you watch her practically melt as she claps eyes on Benedict.

Tsk. Typical.

“Not exactl…” you begin.

“Yes,” he cuts in with a winning smile. “Sadly, we couldn't get seats together, though,” he pouts a touch theatrically.

“Oh! Well, let me see what I can do about that… It is Christmas, after all,” she winks at him conspiratorially, then taps on her keyboard.

A few minutes later, your bags are checked in, and you are upgraded to Premium Economy. The lady was apologetic that you still couldn't get seats together but a row apart instead. You are pretty sure if there was space, the handsome bastard would have gotten you upgraded to business without even trying.

Oh, to be a pretty Bridgerton.

___

Twelve hours later, you are in a taxi, tired but grateful for the additional legroom on the flight, even managing a few hours of light napping. Benedict is similarly sleepy, both of your heads lolling around as the car zips down the road. By the time you reach your family home, it’s evening, but to your body clocks, it's the middle of the night.

As you slide out of the taxi, a long arm wraps around your shoulders, and you startle.

“Best to look convincing from the off,” Benedict mutters as he throws his duffle bag on top of your suitcase and trundles them up the path with his other hand.

You nod and dutifully wrap your arm around his waist over his puffer coat, slightly annoyed at how good it feels, as if your arm belongs there.

“This is so American it's almost a cliche,” he jests, looking up at your parents' house, holiday string lights twinkling in the dusk.

You giggle at his remark and bump him with your hip, quickly escalating into a friendly tussle. He hauls you into his arms and swings you in front of him.

“What are you doing?” you whisper, your limbic system alive at the feel of him pressed into you even behind heavy coats.

“Just go with it,” he responds with an easy confidence and that dazzling smile. As if in slow motion, his lips descend, and you reel as they lightly brush yours, an explosion behind your ribs at this passing touch.

Over your shoulder, you hear the front door opening and realise it’s for show, for a particular audience. You are grateful for the forethought but completely discombobulated from this partial kiss.

How am I going to survive a week of this?

“Mrs y/l/n, Mr y/l/n,” he calls as you linger in his arms, not wanting to turn around just yet.

“Well, hello there. This must be the famous Mr Bridgerton,” your dad's opening line. “We have heard so very little about you. Before yesterday anyway,” he adds, already twisting the knife in early as you pull up to the porch.

“That may well be because I asked her not to,” Benedict rebuts smoothly, releasing you to give a firm handshake. “I love the element of surprise,” he adds with a smile you have seen him deploy before, a weapon’s grade charm offensive.

Your mother’s face is a picture. “Well, well, we certainly didn't expect someone quite so handsome to accompany our daughter,” she drawls, verging on flirtatious.

Benedict drapes his arm around your shoulders and nuzzles your hair. “Whyever not? She is simply wonderful,” he sighs, his hot breath tickling your scalp before letting you go again.

Damn, he is good at this.

“Hello, mom, dad…” you greet politely before moving in for a short hug from both.

“Happy holidays, darling. Let's get inside,” your mother fusses.

Within a few minutes, after some casual pleasantries are exchanged as you remove coats, you watch your mother give Benedict a tour of their home, including, to your chagrin, your childhood bedroom, which is a time capsule from your teen years. At least the dog-eared band posters have been taken down. As you drift back to the living room, Christmas music plays from a speaker behind the tree. Your family loves to go all out on the holiday decorating. It does feel festive and cosy, though.

“It will be a full house with all of our kids and their spouses staying tonight. So there are no spare rooms. You are on the sofabed in the den, Mr Bridgerton,” your dad comments, gesturing to the room next door; the message very clear.

“That's fine,” Benedict huffs genially, “and please, call me Ben.”

“I might actually head to bed now,” you admit over a stifled yawn. “My body thinks it's 2am.”

“Same,” Benedict chimes.

“Oh, you should stay up, try to get into the timezone,” your mother clucks, always with an opinion about how you are not doing things how she would. “Ben has not yet been introduced to Tucker, Travis, Tegan and their spouses. They are all still out at dinner…” she indicates, listing your siblings and looking most perturbed at your decision.

“Tomorrow, Mom,” you assure.

“Alright,” she capitulates with a sigh, mostly when she sees Benedict yawn behind his hand.

“Goodnight…” you offer to all and go to leave the room, but as you get to the door, Benedict stops you with an arm shooting out.

“Don't I get a goodnight kiss, my love?” he pouts.

At first, you look up at him shocked, then a flick of his eyes over your shoulder makes you realise he is continuing the ruse.

“Maybe,” you flirt back, jetlag somehow making you daring. An ideal excuse to be coquettish, even though your parents likely can't hear your exchange above the music playing. They can certainly see your body language, though.

“Oh, I see. What do I have to do to earn it?” Benedict plays along, a dangerous smile and a large hand low on your lumbar spine, pulling you into him.

“Tell me you will miss not sleeping next to me,” you boldly request, a little cheeky smile tugging at your lips to see how far he will let you push this.

A long finger swipes a tendril of hair out of your face and behind your ear, a thumb curling under your chin.

“Every night I'm not sleeping next to you is my misfortune,” he replies, sounding wistful, his eyes seeming to burn with something approaching sincerity. It makes your stomach swoop like you are standing on a cliff edge on a windy day.

“Good answer,” you stumble in acknowledgement, pushing up onto your tip toes, heart in your mouth.

“I do what I can,” he answers against your lips and then draws you into a slow, plush kiss.

His mouth doesn't open, but it doesn't matter; the hint of wetness on his pursed lips has your body reacting, a charge ripping through your being. A sudden yearning for him to push you against the wall and plunder your mouth with his tongue. When he withdraws, you know your pupils are blown wide, but you are taken aback that his are, too; the dampness on his lip shines in the glow of the Christmas tree.

Your father pointedly clearing his throat breaks the spell, and you jump apart as if burned.

“Sorry,” you both mumble and Benedict pulls the most adorable ‘oopsie, my bad’ face.

“Goodnight, y/n,” he says tacitly.

“Goodnight, Ben.”

As you climb the stairs slowly, exhaling the breath it feels like you have been holding since he grabbed your arm, you know that kiss will be replaying in your head for weeks. If he keeps this up, you may well combust.

This was a fantastically bad idea.

___

December 24th

You awaken on Christmas Eve when it’s still dark outside. A glance at your phone says it’s right after 4:30am. Already knowing you won’t get any more sleep, you throw open your case and grab slippers and a hoodie, deciding to head down to make a coffee.

You almost jump out of your skin when you see a silhouette sitting at the kitchen table.

“Sorry,” Benedict atones as he sees you clutching your chest, “time zones.”

“Same… coffee?”

“Please…”

As you potter around, making a pot as quiet as possible, he scrolls on his phone. You join him once it’s brewing.

“How is the sofa bed?” you ask, wincing guiltily.

“I've slept on worse,” he obfuscates jovially.

“Sorry, if I’d known there wouldn't be a spare bed, I would have booked a hotel,” you apologise, rubbing your temples.

“No, it’s tradition to stay with family at Christmas,” he rebukes with a smile.

“Thank you again for all this,” you mutter, shoving your hands into your hoodie pockets. “Have you done this fake boyfriend thing before?” your question is only partially in jest.

“No, what makes you say that?” he huffs bemused.

“You, uhh, have been doing an excellent acting job,” you shrug. “Thank you, by the way. I don’t think they quite believe I could land you, but I’d argue you have been very convincing regardless….”

“Don't say that,” he frowns, cutting in.

“You don’t think they buy it?” concerned things may not be working as well as you believed.

“Not that,” he waves a dismissive hand, “the other thing. Why wouldn’t they believe you could ‘land me’?” he rounds off with a quotation gesture.

You bark a laugh. “Have you seen you?

“Stop,” he seems genuinely ticked. “That is all shit. I would be lucky to have you,” he mumbles, not meeting your eye, staring out of the French doors into the inky blackness. It won’t be sunrise for another three hours this time of year. “I am lucky, in fact, to have you as a friend,” he adds, his thoughts sounding far away.

“Well, same. I still have no idea how to repay you for all of this…” you admit.

“I already said, none needed. Why would I not choose a little foreign adventure with a good friend when the alternative is Christmas alone?!” he scoffs as the coffee machine beeps.

Unsure quite what to say, you get up to make a cup, knowing without asking how he takes his. Retaking your seat, you pick at the idea again.

“I think we should strategise…” you mutter into your mug.

“About what?”

“The plan. Now you have some inkling of what they are like, maybe we should talk tactics…?” you trail off, not sure even yourself where you are going with this.

“It's simple, isn't it?” he counters, taking a gulp of coffee. “We hold hands, hug and kiss occasionally, you know, act like a couple….” he shrugs as if it's the simplest thing in the world. Maybe it is to him; his heart probably doesn't pound when you so much as touch.

“Okay, well, I guess we can improvise. But let me know if it all gets too much. Send me a secret code or something,” you offer.

“Like a safe word?” he chuckles.

“Something like that,” you allow, trying to mask the heat you feel creeping up your sternum at the very thought.

Just then, his phone vibrates on the table.

“Sorry, it's Ant. I should probably take this,” he apologises, standing up.

You swallow a sip of your coffee, trying not to think too hard about anything, when suddenly he leans over your shoulder from behind, the phone still buzzing in his hand.

“By the way, my safeword is Byron,” he rumbles silkily into your ear. “Not that I’ll ever need it,” he adds, walking away casually while you try to bring your heart rate back to normal.

Dear God, this man is going to kill me.

___

You take your coffee back to bed when Benedict doesn't reappear after a few minutes and end up passing out again for a couple of hours. By the time you are awake again, the house is a hive of noise and activity. You pass Kallie, your oldest brother's wife, in the hallway, and she punches your arm lightly.

“Welcome home, and well fucking done!” she winks, and you frown, confused what she’s talking about. She jerks a thumb over her shoulder. “That delicious slice of Britishness in there,” she elucidates.

Shit! It just occurs to you that by falling back asleep, you left Benedict alone to fend for himself in the melee of your family. The poor man must be mauled alive by now.

So when you enter the kitchen, the last thing you expect to see is the sight before you. Benedict, with an apron on, tossing American-style pancakes like a pro on the hotplate while your family chatters around him, applauding as he serves up another perfect-looking batch.

“Darling!” he calls when he sees you. “Come here!” he exclaims warmly, holding out his arms.

Unsure what else to do and powerless to resist the opportunity, you walk over and allow yourself to be swept into his arms. He presses a kiss onto your cheek. He smells like butter and syrup, and you want to burrow into him.

“Sorry I left you alone in the lion's den,” you say close to his ear so only he can hear.

He smiles into your hair. “They are fine, honestly; I can handle it,” he assures mutely.

You pull back and swipe a tiny fleck of batter from his face, enjoying the round of his cheekbone as you do. What makes an odd weight land on your ribs is how his pupils dilate fractionally as you lick the dot off your thumb.

“Delicious, Mr Bridgerton,” again, unable to stop yourself from flirting with him now you have the excuse.

Something in him looks almost wild as your gaze locks.

“Get a room!” your brother, Tucker, jeers from the table.

Part of you wants to sass back some version of ‘apparently we’re not allowed’ and ‘I wish’, but all you can do is smile at Benedict as he mirrors your expression.

“More, please, Mr Brid-un,” your youngest nephew toddles over, holding up his plate expectantly.

Benedict finally looks away and ruffles the little kid’s hair. “Certainly, Brandon,” he offers warmly.

“What I find fascinating is how a proper British gentleman knows how to make good old-fashioned American pancakes,” your mother pipes up from her seat at the kitchen island.

“Oh, my nanny was an American,” Benedict waves the spatula as he pours more batter onto the hotplate and begins a new batch.

“Your grandmother was from the colonies?” Travis mocks, feigning outrage.

“Oh no… not that sort. My umm nanny nanny, as in the lady who looked after us as kids,” he explains, looking somewhat sheepish.

“Shhiittttt,” your sister Teegan drawls, looking up from her phone for the first time. “You’re like actual rich, huh?”

“Language Tee!” your mother warns from across the room.

Teegan pulls a face and then turns her attention back to Benedict, awaiting his response.

“Please, can you all not be so… y/l/n,” you cut in, holding up your hands to the gathered family. “For once, can you all just…?” you taper off, hoping they will read between the lines.

“How’d you two meet?” Dean, Teegan’s husband, calls out, ignoring your plea completely.

“We actually met at university many years ago,” Benedict explains, flipping the pancakes as they bubble. “But we started working together last year on various projects, and well, we grew much closer.”

So far, so truthful.

“Then, well, one memorable day, when we successfully wrapped up a project we had worked on so hard together, I realised she meant so much more to me than a friend,” Benedict continues, sounding so sincere you almost believe it yourself. A tiny flutter in your chest that the project he refers to could be the Gala. “I kept it to myself for a while, but late one night, I couldn't resist, and I confessed my feelings. I am the luckiest man alive because it turns out she felt the same. And, well… here we are,” he concludes, shooting you a look so loaded you forget it's a yarn for a few seconds.

“Friends-to-lovers, I stan,” Claire, your other sister-in-law, comments. She always has her head stuck in some romance book.

As Benedict serves the next batch, the focus of the room is pulled to your nieces and nephews as they overload their pancakes with toppings, and you are grateful to be out of the glare of the family spotlight temporarily.

“How did I do?” Benedict murmurs into your ear as he sidles up next to you, wrapping an arm around your back. There's a tinge of pride in his voice. He knows he has them eating out the palm of his hand, and fuck if it isn't so attractive.

“I should tip you…” you joke, not wanting to give away quite how flustered you are.

“I accept payment in kisses,” he breathes, his smouldering stare sliding down to your lips as you crane your head to look up at him.

It's only a few minutes later, as you grab a pancake from the stack that you realise he didn't say that at volume anyone else could hear… it was purely for you. And you have no earthly idea what to do with that thought.

___

The rest of Christmas Eve passes with your family’s usual rituals, with Benedict beside you, playing the doting boyfriend to perfection. Each brush of his makes your adrenaline spike—a divine torture.

While dinner is cooking in the afternoon, your parents usher most of you out of the house for a walk in the bracing cold to build up an appetite. And so you stroll, Benedict’s gloved hand in yours.

“So Ben, is everyone in London not married with kids, or is it only my sister who can't seem to figure it out despite her old age?” your sister Teegan digs as she pushes the buggy next to you.

“Well, we are a similar age, and I'm not married with kids either,” he points out breezily.

“Yeah, but…” she halts, realising there is no response she can think of. “Wait, why don't you have kids yet? Don’t you want a family? I thought you said you had lots of brothers and sisters?”

“I do come from a big family, yes. And I suppose one day, yes, I do want kids of my own,” he adds, seemingly honest as you listen intently, your heartbeat in your ears, “but I feel no rush yet.”

“So you’re not knocking this one up anytime soon then?” your brother Tucker stirs, checking your shoulder roughly from the other side.

You can't help but feel a blush darken your cheeks at that and refuse to look up at Benedict. You open your mouth to tell Tucker to shut up, but Benedict cuts across you.

“If anyone has come close to being someone I would consider having kids with, it's your sister,” he admits casually, as if talking about the weather. But for you, it feels like you are back on that proverbial cliff edge about to dive over, heart racing. It takes every fibre of your being to keep walking and acting naturally, grateful for the gloves between your joined hands; not sure you could handle his skin touching yours as he says such things.

“Ooooooo,” Tucker singsongs, “going to the chapel, and they’re gonna get mar...”

“Cut it out!” you grouse.

He peels a laugh, then jogs on ahead to catch up with Dean.

“I’m sorry about that,” your apology hushed as you keep walking, Teegan falling behind you to deal with one of her kids' tantrums.

“Why? It's an inevitable question when you meet your other half’s family,” he points out, squeezing your hand reassuringly as you wander as a pair.

“Yes, but… it's a bit much, considering they just met you hours ago. They are intentionally stirring the pot. Trying to scare you off,” you frown, realising what they are doing as you say it aloud.

Benedict stops walking, and it makes you halt, too. “Nothing could scare me off,” he assures, his face soft with understanding as he cups your jaw. His cold, damp glove is a balm to your flushed, embarrassed face.

“Right,” you nod, “cos this is all fake…” you add quietly, trying to hide the defeated tone.

“Anyone who knows how great you are would not be scared off by the idea of a future with you,” Benedict says soothingly, a thumb stroking your cheekbone.

“Well, when you meet a candidate who fits that bill, send them over to me, yeah?” you quip brittly as you look off into the distance, unable to meet his hazy, sincere eyes.

His response is interrupted by your niece tugging on his coat.

“Uncle Ben, can I sit on your shoulders? Please? Daddy already has Brandon, and my feet are so tired,” she whines in that dramatic way only little ones do.

Benedict laughs and releases you. “Certainly, Sofia,” he smiles as he hauls her onto his shoulders, uncaring of the mess her little boots smear onto his coat as he does so.

“Faster! Go faster!” she orders, and genially, Benedict obeys, moving ahead and breaking into a light jog as she giggles loudly and holds onto his chin.

You try to ignore the flutter in your chest at the sight of him with a kid on his shoulders, as if he were born to do so.

This was such a mistake…

___

“When are you moving home, y/n?”

You knew this was likely coming. The question your mum has to ask every time you visit. And every year, your answer is the same.

“I don't think I will be, Mom,” you explain calmly as you pass the plate of peas to your sister, not wanting to look at Benedict, who sits opposite you at the long table. “I love London. It feels like home,” you add with a shrug.

“Yes, but this living abroad thing is supposed to be a phase—a young person thing. You are mid-thirties now. It's time you settled down,” she frowns.

“I am settled,” you reply neutrally, “I have a place of my own that I love.”

“Yes, but an apartment, sorry ‘flat’,” she self-corrects sarcastically, “that’s not a real home. A home is a house with a garden in a safe town with good schools for your children,” she lectures.

This line of discussion used to annoy and rile you up, but you have become weary of it over the years. The rest of your family is tucking into their food but listening smugly, having towed the traditional family line.

“I think home can be many things,” Benedict pipes up from across the table. “A home is about where you feel safe and secure, surely Mrs y/l/n?”

“Well, yes…” your mother falters, slightly taken aback by his interruption but still charmed by his effortless congeniality.

“Then I would say your daughter’s home is London,” he smiles disarmingly. “You should see her there; I encourage you to visit sometime. She has a home she has made beautiful. She has many friends, and she is amazing at her job. She is happy. I, for one, cannot imagine her anywhere else.”

Again, you can feel your heart beating at his sweet words, even knowing they are all for show; it's lovely that someone has your back for once, defending your choices.

“But what of the schools, Mr Bridgerton?” your dad piles in, “I have heard nightmares of the school system in the inner cities, in this country and yours,” he shudders.

“My family has always gone to a superb prep school in Chelsea. I see no reason why our children could not do the same when the time comes,” Benedict responds with a winning smile.

You almost drop the corn casserole at that line.

Plonking it heavily on the table and taking a deep breath, you finally pluck the courage to look over at him. Looking back at you is a playful smile and a wink. And suddenly, you know what he is doing. It likely appears genuine to others, but you know him too well; you know all his facial tells. He is doing this for sport. To entertain you. The kaleidoscope of emotions you feel is near exhausting, relief mixed with a tang of disappointment that it's all for show.

“Well, that's wonderful news, Benedict,” your mother squeaks. “I cannot wait to hear more once you are engaged,” never failing to find an opportunity to take a dig.

“You will be the first to hear, I promise,” he smiles winningly and takes a bite of food. “This is delicious, by the way,” he adds, “I hope you will share the recipe with me, seeing as we will likely be family one day...”

And just like that, he expertly manoeuvres your mother onto the only topic she loves more than marriage - cooking. As if he could intuit how to steer the conversation. Relieved, you sit back and finally take a deep breath, then a bite of your admittedly delicious plate. You are even grateful he manages to distract them long enough that there are no jibes about your weight.

Maybe this wasn't such a mistake…

___

A few hours later, with the little ones tucked up in bed, the adults gather around the tree with the fireplace roaring and the festive music softly playing. It's time for gift exchange, a family tradition away from the hubbub of Christmas morning with the focus on the children ripping through all the gifts Santa left for them.

You are enjoying the buzz a second large glass of wine provides when the focus turns to you. Benedict sits beside you and slides a hand onto your knee. Still, your body reacts, but you attempt to act as if it doesn't make your blood pump hard in your head.

“Benedict, we didn't know you were coming, so I'm sorry we have no gift for you to open,” your mother says sheepishly, “and y/n, we have done as you always ask; we have sent you a gift card over email,” she explains, “which makes me sad as you have no gift to unwrap….”

“That's fine, Mom, thank you. And don't worry, I don't need a gift,” you assure, taking another swig.

“Actually….” Benedict clears his throat, “I have a gift for my girlfriend if that is okay?”

You look agog at him.

“But… I didn't get you anything,” you splutter, even as he moves his hand from you and reaches behind his back, revealing a small navy velvet box.

“Don't worry. It's nothing really, just something small,” Benedict assures, even as you can feel everyone’s eyes on you as you reluctantly let him place it in your hands.

Slowly, you pull at the tail of the lovely soft gold ribbon until it relents. With your heart in your mouth, you snap open the box. Nestled in more navy velvet is a tiny, beautiful crystal penguin, your favourite animal.

“Ben…” you are lost for all other words, tears prickling the corners of your eyes.

“I remember you loved the larger one my mum had on her desk,” he explains lowly as you stare transfixed by all the facets catching the twinkling light. “Every time we had a meeting, you would stare at it or play with it. So I knew I had to get you one too, for your desk… or wherever you want to put it,” he modifies sweetly.

You can't help it - the swell of emotions makes you throw your arms around him as you clutch the precious item. It's like he has managed to distil everything you could want from a Christmas gift - something personal, tailored to you, nothing too extravagant but small, elegant and beautiful. And that he had the forethought to bring it across the Atlantic with him makes your heart burst even more. He is possibly the best friend you could ever have. You fervently wish he was so much more.

“I can't believe you remember that,” you mumble. “This is perfect and beautiful. Thank you, Ben, thank you so much.”

“Merry Christmas, my love,” he says into your hair at a volume you know is designed to be heard by the room.

“Merry Christmas,” you return quieter, only for him.

Vaguely, you hear your mother moving on to hand a gift to another, perhaps embarrassed by the display of affection between you. Grateful that the family focus seems to have shifted to someone else, you go to pull away from the embrace, but Benedict draws you tighter into him.

“Lovers don't let go so quickly,” he whispers. “Now I'm going to kiss you again if that is okay…”

Your tummy flips. “Okay…” you barely struggle out the word.

Then his hand is on your cheek, and time seems to slow like treacle; his eyes burn into yours as he moves in, then flutter closed as his lips meet yours. Again, it is like a rollercoaster, a thrilling plunge as his lips move over yours. It's like the previous night, respectful with a closed mouth but so sweet and promising, so much more a whole ripple runs through your body. You need more, so much more, desperate to climb into his lap and demand a real kiss, audience be damned. When you part, he tilts his forehead against yours and smiles gently, licking his lip as if savouring the taste.

“I'm glad you like it. The gift that is,” he clarifies, a sweet mumble.

You giggle. “I love it, Ben, thank you. I'm sorry I didn't get you anything; I feel terrible.”

“Being here with you is gift enough,” he assures in a voice that melts your insides, which you assume is for the audience.

My god, this man will be the death of me.

The rest of the evening passes in a pleasant fog of wine, your siblings holding court and telling stories as you listen, feeling the weight of Benedict’s hand again on your leg as he sips on a whiskey. Once again, you feel the creeping of jetlag and decide to turn in around 10pm. You give Benedict a peck on the cheek before he can draw you into another confounding kiss and make your escape upstairs with a glass of eggnog and your book.

As you settle into bed, you try not to let your thoughts spiral as you catch sight of the crystal penguin in its box. Instead, you tell yourself he is a good friend and rich; it's likely nothing to him, and not to read too much into it.

___

December 25th

At some point, you drift off to sleep, book in hand, the timezone still catching you out. You only realise it when you are awoken suddenly around 2am by a knock on your door.

“Come in,” you croak, sitting up and rubbing your eyes to adjust to the light; you had fallen asleep with the bedside lamp on low while reading.

The door opens ajar, and Benedict’s handsome face pops in. “I saw your light on…” he says softly, “just wanted to check on you.”

You put your book aside, pull the covers around your neck and feel an odd flutter as he closes the door behind him. He looks cosy in long tartan pyjama bottoms and a soft dark t-shirt.

“I'm sure your dad would kill me if he knew I were here,” he jests as he hovers a few feet away.

“Come sit,” you pat the bed next to you, even as you feel strange about him being here, dead of night on Christmas Day.

He nods gratefully and perches on the edge of your bed. It's a full-size mattress, bigger than a twin, but not a double bed. You can feel his weight tugging the bedding tight over your thighs.

“Thank you again for my gift, truly,” you gesture to the box on your bedside table.

“I had to. I couldn't think of anything more… you...” Benedict smiles that demure smile with downcast eyes that always makes you want to shake him and tell him to stop looking so fucking adorable. Or mount him. Or both. You have to bite your lip to stop blurting out your errant thoughts.

“But still to buy me such a wonderful gift and put up with my family… I mean… you deserve a medal,” you shrug.

A hand clamps onto your knee through the bedding, but it still surprises you.

“Stop it,” he gruffs. “I'm going to need you to stop. Seriously. I chose to come here. It's been fun. Something different. Yes, your family is a bit… intense, but everyone’s is. Each has its own special blend of crazy. You’ve seen the Bridgerton brand of dysfunctional up close,” he points out, knowing without saying more how much you have watched them bicker over the years.

“But you’ve said all those lovely things, made up all these amazing believable stories…” you argue back weakly.

“Every single thing I have said to your family has been the truth,” he responds solemnly.

You replay a few choice record-scratch moments in your head. “But what about the stuff about me being the person you could see yourself having kids with and where these imaginary kids would go to school…” you point out, wincing as you do.

“I told no lies,” he answers each syllable enunciated slowly, staring you down.

It feels like your whole world tilts when he utters those words.

“What are you saying?” you query, breathier than you mean to sound but needing him to spell it out.

He sighs, but a mischievous grin twitches the corner of his mouth. “You are much smarter than this; don't be obtuse now, y/n,” he rumbles, something in the challenging way he says it catches a fire behind your ribs.

“Ben…” you warn, so many contradictory feelings at once.

“You are all the things I said and more, and you must know how amazing you are,” he offers softly as you feel your eyes misting.

“Please don't,” your last vestige of resistance, still not believing what he says can possibly be true, too close to a festive miracle. Part of you thinks that at any moment, you will wake up alone and bereft.

His fingertips brush your cheek, and you inhale sharply and look up to see him inches from your face.

“Fine, if you don't somehow believe my words, maybe you’ll believe my deeds…”

It's the last few words out of his mouth before his lips meet yours.

This time, it's not for an audience; it's just for the two of you, and it almost stops your heart. A hesitant, soft, sweet brush that becomes more as he leans in and deepens the kiss. His lips part yours as your mind grinds to a halt, tentatively following his lead, kissing him back… the catalyst, the permission he needs. A large hand rounds behind your head and pulls you forward. Suddenly, it's a tidal wave, his tongue rolling greedily over yours, becoming hungry, urgent, desperate, your body awash with chemicals, scarcely able to believe Benedict, the star of every one of your spicy dreams, is here in your childhood bedroom, kissing the very life out of you in the early hours of Christmas Day.

“Lay down,” he murmurs into your skin as his lips glide over your cheek, and you follow his order without thought, shuffling down obediently until you lie flat and stare up at him transfixed.

It’s as if he’s taken your disbelief as a challenge to prove how very real this is. With one hand, he tosses aside the covers and crawls over you until he is engulfing you, surrounding you with his scent that makes your mouth water. His lips are hot on your neck as his hands map your body, lingering in places you are self-conscious about.

“Do you have any idea how sexy you are?” he sighs as if disputing your internal monologue, his breath ghosting warm over your collarbone.

“Stop…” you demure, wriggling under him, feeling bashful.

“No..” his crooked smile is lethal as his head pops up from worrying your throat with a little edge of his teeth. His hand skates your clothed breast, and on instinct, you push up into it, your nipple hardening as the heat of his palm seeps through your nightshirt. “Please take off your top,” he implores, his mouth finding your lips again. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamt of touching your naked body.”

“I can’t believe this…” you mutter, shaky, confounded that it could be true—the man you desire desiring you back just as wantonly. He lowers his body between your legs, surging his hips so you feel something insistent inside his pyjamas.

“Now, do you believe me?” he dusks into your ear.

“Benedict…” falls from your lips as an excited shudder.

“Say my name again, please,” he huffs right against your cheekbone, pinning you under him with his pelvis.

“Benedict,” you repeat, revelling in the effect it seems to have on him.

It gives you the courage to whip off your top. The noise he makes as he realises you are naked underneath it is a beeline right between your legs.

“Shh,” you hush, giggling, a rush through your veins, not wanting anyone to disturb this, as he slides his lips down over your skin towards your breasts.

“I cannot,” he remarks gleefully, “not with such a bounty beneath me.”

His lips clamp onto your left nipple, sucking and swirling his tongue with an intensity that steals the breath from your lungs.

“Might wake fam…” you stumble out, impressed you can even do that.

He pulls up, his biceps in tense relief as he balances on his fists curled on either side of your waist. “Then lock your damn door,” he growls in a way that has you clenching.

“No lock…” you squeak, wishing beyond belief you had one.

“Shit, really?” he sighs, leaning back down to kiss over your sternum. “I’m not sure I can be quiet; I’ve wanted this for too long…”

You go to query that statement, but he moves to your other breast and does the same, so the only sound you are capable of is a guttural moan.

“Shh,” he hushes you back cheekily, tilting his head up from your chest, eyes sparkling and face so achingly handsome you still can barely believe this is happening,

“We really do have to be quiet…” you point out reluctantly.

“I know,” he sighs into your breastbone, dropping a soft kiss there. “I want to tell you so many things….”

“Whisper them to me…” you beseech, running your fingers through his lush, thick head of hair, tilting your breast back up to his mouth.

He smirks and catches your unsubtle hint, once again using his talented mouth to make you shudder under him. He runs a finger down your centre line to your belly.

“Your body is perfect,” he sighs. You go to protest, but he shoots you a disapproving look, so you bite back your words. “I could get lost for hours tracing your lines,” he hums, his featherlight touch tickling as it crosses under your belly button, making you giggle. “Hmm, a little ticklish too,” he sounds utterly captivated by that discovery, throwing you a very troublesome expression.

“Don't use it against me…” you warn, knowing he will ignore you, a fizzy feeling at this playfulness.

“Oh, I just might…” he chuckles as he runs his tongue lower over your torso, a hot, damp line that leaves fluttering in his wake. “I could do this all night…your skin is so soft,” he purrs, inhaling deeply, nuzzling his nose above the line of your pyjama bottoms. “You always smell so fantastic,” he sighs, using his teeth to tug on the ribbon.

You’ve never had someone be this vocal during intimacy. It makes you feel reassured but also slightly bewildered by just how aroused you are getting, Benedict’s resonant voice skittering compliments over your skin, making you embarrassingly wet. Your hands greedily pull at his t-shirt, hoping he will get the hint.

“If you want something from me, you have to say it,” he teases as he switches to using his fingers to undo the bow on your pyjamas.

“Please take off your top, Ben,” you mewl, even as your heart pounds at the idea you will soon be naked under him.

“I will,” he promises, “in a minute…”

As if sensing your apprehension about removing your last item of clothing, he leaves it in place, shuffling lower and stretching your legs wide with his shoulders. You gasp loudly as his mouth, hot through the thin cotton protecting your modesty, sucks insistently over your slit. A large hand curling around your hip to stop you canting off the bed. Your clit throbs, and your pussy leaks copiously down your bottom.

“Fuck I can tell how wet you are even through this fabric,” he stutters.

“I'm sorry...” you squirm, embarrassed.

He surges upright, grabs your hands from around his head and cages them on the mattress beside your hips.

“Let's get two things very clear,” his voice stern but achingly seductive. “One, your body is incredible, and you should know by now how much I desire you. Two, if you ever apologise again for being turned on, I will be annoyed. Do you know how proud I am? That I can do this to you? How absolutely rigid this makes me?” rutting his hard cock against your left calf to prove his point. “I want your desire running down to your knees. I want you mindless and trembling with need for me.”

“O-okay,” you stumble out, entranced. This filthy poetry and feralness is beyond anything you could imagine him capable of. You have seen hints of his menacing potential, but full force, it’s breathtaking.

“Good,” he smiles crookedly, releasing your hands. “Now lift your hips so I can get you properly naked,” the slightly bossy rejoinder really working for you.

Mutely, you do as bidden, his fingertips trailing fire down your hips as he tugs the material over your thighs, impatiently pulling them from around your ankles and tossing them over his shoulder, his gaze locked onto your body. He groans a curse, and you again find yourself clenching around nothing at his untamed response.

Whispering his name is a reflex, your fingers carding again into his hair as he lowers his mouth and suckles the skin of your hip before slowly, almost torturously, winding his way lower towards your centre. Every place he touches feels alive and fluttering, him whispering reassurance and praise into your flesh, like a sensual requiem that catches your breath. By the time he trails his nose down the crease where your thigh meets your body, you are panting, eyes screwed shut, head tilted back, anticipation knotting your guts.

“Look at me,” he orders softly, his face framed by your thighs as you gulp and look down the plane of your body to him. “Don’t look away; I want to see your eyes when I do this,” his breath hot on your slit.

He unfurls his tongue and ploughs through your wet flesh, making your toes and fingers curl. You have to bite your lip and curse behind your teeth, the sensation overwhelming, his eye flashing fire in his blown pupils at your bodily reaction. You hiss loudly, needing to call out so bad your lungs ache. You twist your pillow to bite down on a corner but keep your eyes on him as told. He chuckles pridefully, the sensation shooting up your pelvis, then keeps going. Teasing around your clit with a lathing action that is nothing like you've had before, devouring, using his whole face, strong arms wrapping your thighs in a vice-like grip, held lewdly open It feels so good that within moments you are panting. Still, part of you is tense, scared about your ability to be silent.

“Relax,” he breathes, shaking your hip gently in his grip, sensing the tension in your being.

“I'm worried I won't be able to stay quiet enough,” you admit, muffled around the pillowcase, looking away to stare at the ceiling as he busses a soft kiss onto your inner thigh.

“One moment…” he withdraws and hops off the bed. You watch, vaguely dazed, as he drags a heavy chair against the door and wedges it under the handle so it can’t be opened. “There, now we should get some warning.”.

When he turns back around, you instinctively pull the cover over yourself to hide your naked body, even as you can’t help but stare at the tent in his pyjama bottoms, mouth watering at visions of what lies beneath.

“Don’t do that,” he reproaches softly, “show yourself to me.”

Reluctantly, you push the sheet away again, squirming slightly as his eyes roam your body lasciviously as he prowls over to you, stripping off his t-shirt as he does. His naked torso is perfect, toned and honed, and as he crawls over you, you are hypnotised by the view.

“You are so beautiful,” he sighs, dropping a kiss on the tip of your nose, the scent of your arousal on his face. “Never cover yourself in front of me; you should be proud of your body.”

You’ve never had someone say that before, and your insides are molten, a need for him that burns so bright, an inferno purely of his making.

“Tell me what you want,” he proposes, lacing your fingers with his, kissing your fingertips, then sucking them into his mouth, looking at you expectantly as you stutter at his warm, wet, talented tongue lathing over your fingertips.

“Everything…” you blurt out honestly. “Anything. This is all wonderful… Can I return the favour for you?” you deflect, brushing your other hand tentatively over his bulge as he hovers over you.

“Yes, you bloody can,” he growls, releasing your fingers from his lips as his eyes flash dark. But he grabs your hand away from his cock, calming his tone. “But not tonight. Another time…”

“Another time?” you echo, temporarily stunned by the idea this isn't a never-to-be-repeated Christmas miracle.

“Yes. Why would you think this a one-time thing?” his brow knits as he drops a kiss on your cheek. “What about my actions and words tonight suggest that?”

“Nothing, I suppose,” you concede, “just history…”

He cups your jaw. “The past is the past. This is now and me,” he states clearly, running a thumb tenderly over your lip. “I will do whatever you want. If you tell me to leave this room right now, I will, and I won't think any less of you…”

“Don't you dare,” it's a snarl from some dark recess deep inside you, your legs twining around his to lock him in place.

“There she is…” he chuckles, that lopsided grin taking over his face before kissing a line down your throat. “Now tell me what you want, y/n.”

“I want you inside me,” you confess, running your hands over his naked back, loving the play of muscles under warm skin.

He groans at your words, an edge of teeth on your jugular, making you ripen, feel daring. If he wants to know just how wild he makes you, you are going to show it. You grab his face and drag it up until he is over you again, his pupils blown and his hair a mess from your tugging.

“Fuck me, right now, Ben,” you demand hotly, pushing your body up into his and delving a hand inside the back of his pyjamas to grab his shapely rear, keen for him to be as naked as you.

He snarls and pins your arms beside your head on the pillow.

“Do you have any condoms?” he breathes hot in your ear.

“Ah shit,” your head thumps back, chastising yourself for not planning better. But then this seemed like such an unlikely outcome, frankly miraculous; why on earth would you have?

“Good thing I came prepared then,” he teases, releasing his grip to produce a small packet from the pocket of his pyjamas.

“You….” you scold, equal parts impressed and irked, running your fingers around his waistband.

“It was a sincere wish, not an expected conclusion,” he smiles bashfully, his lips meeting yours for a searing kiss as he slips off the last of his clothing.

A shiver runs down your spine as he bears you into the mattress, naked, his rigid cock brandishing the inside of your thigh. He keeps kissing you over and over until your lips feel tingly from the slight hint of stubble around his. You wrap all of your limbs around him, craving for your bodies to be melded.

When he pushes up slightly to rip open the packet, you glance down and see, nestled in a patch of trimmed hair, a sizeable but very pretty cock. You can’t resist reaching out and touching it, loving the feel of steely strength under the silky texture; his soft groan is like music to your ears. Sighing his name, you are impatient for him to be inside you, already knowing it will feel wonderful, part of you craving skin on skin.

Again he wears that demure smile, looking up at you through his lashes, so you take over, eagerly rolling the condom onto that pretty cock and then pulling him down on top of you forcefully.

“I like it when you are just a little bossy,” he confesses into your mouth, one hand pulling the cover over you both, then sliding between your bodies to guide himself towards you.

“I like it when you are a little bossy,” you counter, but then all your words die out as his cock slides insistently into you.

Your eyes roll back as he inches inside, so much heat and girth, your body stretching to accommodate his invasion. You both seem to utter a curse, and your hands grasp each other tight.

“You feel amazing…” he murmurs as he bottoms out, the feeling of fullness so perfect.

You whisper your agreement as he withdraws and surges back in, your feet curling around his legs, toes sliding into the light fuzz on the back of his calves. There are soft sighs, both of you trying to muffle your sounds as he sets a languid pace, your body rolling with his; each push has your walls clinging to him, your breasts squashing against his broad chest. What strikes you most as you move together is that nothing is awkward; it all feels natural, predestined, an easy intimacy that suggests months or even years together rather than a first time.

He feels so good moving inside you, so perfect; all you can do is cling to him, trying to convey with your eyes what you dare not voice. Afraid that if you open your mouth, you will release the noises you are fighting to hold in, blazing in your lungs. His stare is blistering, too, a blush across his face that speaks of desire and denied words, his neck corded, a pulse beating wildly in his prominent vein, a sheen gathering on his forehead as he pushes into you over and over.

His breath is hot on your temple as he shifts, dropping a shoulder and reaching down, looping your leg into the crook of his arm, the sheet pulling taut around your knee as he does. He hits a new spot deep inside with his next thrust, which has you digging your nails into his back and whimpering behind your sealed lips. It's as if he is doing his damnedest to break you, make you cry out, and it's the best torture you have ever known.

You huff out of your nose as he does the same, both sounding winded, as he picks up the pace, your teenage bed starting to squeak in protest.

“Shhh,” you plead with the furniture as much as him.

He stops moving, buried in you, and reaches above, stuffing a throw pillow between the bedframe and the wall, his arms flexing deliciously right over your face, the scent of his body spiking your need. It makes you grasp your thighs around his hips and flip him over, landing with a bounce, him still inside as you are on top of him now.

“Wow, that was…” he looks both astounded and exhilarated.

“Surprising?” you supply with a triumphant crooked smile of your own, your hands tracing the lines of his pectorals.

“Wonderful,” he clarifies, his hands grasping your hips as you start to ride him. The way he looks up at you, with dark pupils and a bitten lip, makes you fearless. Starting a leisurely pace, you place your hands over his on your hips, fingers lacing as his eyes slip from yours briefly, transfixed by his cock disappearing into you.

He groans low, undulating beneath you, pushing up as you sink down, his eyes back to your face, a prideful expression as your mouth drops open, his cock nudging deeper than ever before, almost a dull ache that you need, moving faster now, chasing that hit with every downstroke. You can feel your body flushing hot from the exertion, your thigh muscles burning slightly. Still, you don't waver, too addicted to that feeling of being so utterly filled, his cock dragging all the right places inside that switch off your brain and forget everything, every doubt, every uncertainty about yourself and your body, and just chase pleasure.

“My god, you are beautiful,” he gasps, “I love to see you like this, so untamed, so free…”

The compliments just drip like whispered jewels from his tongue as he guides your joined hands up to your breasts and grabs them with a force that fans the heavy, hot feeling in your pelvis, his knuckles snagging your sensitive buds. It makes you want to ride him forever, your clit throbbing each time you sink down, tugging temptingly but not enough to quite tip you over. The clawing sensation of being so close makes you drag your fingernails down his torso and clench around his cock. He stutters and looks at you hungrily, possessed, and then, before you know it, the room tilts as he rolls you back under him, again never leaving your body.

He withdraws and thrusts back into you with such force the wind is knocked out of your lungs, the pillow muffling the thud against the wall. Something in the atmosphere shifts; an urgency, like the heat that has been simmering, is now boiling over for both of you. He grabs your knees and encourages you to wrap your legs high around his torso, tilting your pelvis to a new angle, and when he moves, you cry loudly behind your lips, his body glancing at your clit.

He hushes you with a prideful chuckle. So you grab one of his hands and place it over your mouth, knowing you cannot trust yourself to stay quiet now. The hitch in his breath as you gag yourself with his palm is like poetry.

Oh, Ben, you have no idea what I may want from you one day…

Your errant thoughts run to your darker fantasies, things you’ve never done before but are intrigued by, and in every one of them, it's him. Treating you just a little rough while you beg for more.

“Whatever you are thinking,” he gusts into your ear, moving faster now, “I hope it involves me.”

You nod, feeling his fingers flex across your face.

“Good, I can't wait for you to tell me,” he rasps lowly.

A bead of sweat forms along his hairline as the whole bed rocks now, the trapped pillow muffling the sound, his punishing pace pushing you ever closer to orgasm, pleasure spiking with each thrust. His hand grips your jaw; something about that pressure and the sweet words he murmurs is a contradiction of primal and tender. Sex before has always been one or the other for you; blended together, it's a potent elixir.

He takes you hard, without mercy, and you silently beg him with your eyes for just that; his cock feels so hot and rigid, pounding into you as your cries are muffled by his tangy palm. The onslaught is perfect, and you are teetering on the edge just as he pleads roughly with you to come with him. So you let yourself go, your mind blanks out, your body bucking under his violently. Shuddering convulsions fanning out from your pussy, gripping tight around him and racing through every ounce of your being, muscles taut, eyes screwed shut, a scream trapped in your lungs. He stills above you, his hand releasing your mouth as that bead of sweat splashes down onto your nose. He curls around you, coming hard, huffing gulps of air and twitching almost violently with tiny aftershocks.

After a pause filled with panted breaths and strokes on overheated skin, he carefully withdraws and discards the condom.

“Merry Christmas,” you giggle into his neck as you collapse together.

He hauls you into his embrace, tucking you under his arm and kissing your dewy forehead.

“Merry Christmas indeed,” his answer ragged, wrapped in a warm laugh.

And that is how you both drift off - exhausted, sated bodies entwined, damp skin pressed together.

___

A few hours later, you are awakened by overexcited nieces and nephews thundering down the stairs, eager to see what Santa has brought them. It takes a moment to recall what transpired overnight, a telltale delicious residual pang between your legs, followed by the realisation you are alone. Part of you relieved Benedict has snuck back to the safety of the den, but a larger part sad not to be waking up in his arms. Sighing, you roll over and spy a jaunty cartoon penguin Christmas card propped up on your bedside table. Upon opening, you beam, immediately recognising the beautiful, looped handwriting.

Y/n

Thank you for the most magical night. Leaving this bed might be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I can’t think of anywhere else I would rather be on Christmas Day or, indeed, any other day of the year. But I don't want your father to be angry with me. I have a lifetime to disappoint him… if you will let me.

I can't wait to see you downstairs.

Merry Christmas,

B xx

P.S. I may have just booked a hotel for the rest of our stay. I think we deserve some privacy ;)

You giggle, elated; the exciting prospect of nights in a hotel and the pledge of a lifetime ahead makes your stomach leap—this could be the start of something. You momentarily clutch the card to your chest, revelling in your joy, before burying it into your book for safekeeping and going to take a shower.

When you descend the stairs, out of the picture window, you see most of the family gathered on the street with the kids circling on their new bikes. But as you round into the living room, a sight melts your heart. Benedict sitting cross-legged on the floor with Sofia, a novelty Santa hat perched on his head, surrounded by shreds of wrapping paper, festive music playing in the background as he puts batteries in some loud plastic toy that will no doubt drive everyone up the wall for the rest of the day.

She whoops with delight as the toy noisily springs to life and runs away to play with it. That's when he looks up and sees you watching from the doorway, his face lighting up. Slowly, he gets to his feet, and then you gasp as he wordlessly pulls you into his arms, brings your hand to his face and kisses your knuckles before starting to waltz.

“I didn't know you could dance like this, Mr Bridgerton,” you tease, impressed, allowing him to lead you around, dodging haphazard toys and boxes.

“Oh, there are so many, many things you have yet to learn about me, Ms y/l/n,” he proclaims alluringly as Frank Sinatra croons from the speaker.

♫ It's that time of year When the world falls in love Every song you hear seems to say Merry Christmas May your New Year's dreams come true. ♫

“I hope you don't have plans for New Year's,” he whispers into your hair as he brings you to a halt. “I would very much like you to accompany me to Aubrey Hall. As my girlfriend,” he explains, grinning. “Not fake,” he adds drolly after a pause.

You laugh, feeling lightheaded and giddy, but just as you go to answer, you are both interrupted by a little hand tugging on his jeans.

“Uncle Ben, you are my favouritist,” Sofia declares solemnly. “Will you visit every Christmas?”

Meeting your gaze, his expression contains multitudes.

“It would be my greatest honour, Sofia,” he replies to her, even though his eyes never stray from yours.

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @desert-fern @starkeylover @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @amygdtjhddzvb @sya-skies

Lights divider by @/saradika [x]

#benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton smut #benedict bridgerton fluff #benedict bridgerton imagine #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton #bridgerton smut #bridgerton fluff #bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x female reader #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton x y/n #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x female reader #bridgerton x you #bridgerton x y/n

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sunboki · 4 months

Text

⎯ CHRISTMAS BLUES a Hwang Hyunjin fiction

🎄 : Hwang Hyunjin x implied! fem. reader

TROPE. enemies to lovers, exes to lovers, reader is a writer, one bed au, forced proximity au, hyunjin is an artist(not mentioned a ton), coincidences

WORD COUNT. 7.3k words ☆ 40 minute read

WARNINGS. cursing, angst galore, mention of sex (non desc.), breakup, hurt feelings, making up, mentions of getting drunk

AUG'S NOTES. this is a stupidly lovestruck hallmark christmas mindset talking, whatever you read below is definitely not me… definitely. anyway, happy holidays to everyone that celebrates! this has been sitting in my drafts for months now, initially planned to be a smau, then a fic!! hope this fic exceeds your expectations, feel free to leave a reblog or comment of your thoughts!

PLAYLIST.

SYNOPSIS. You thought getting a call from Hyunjin was the last thing you needed during the holidays, but when he reminds you of your non-refundable tickets to Paris you had booked seven months prior to your earth-shattering breakup, you realize that his call was the least of your problems.

or alternatively :

Just a week over Christmas with your ex in Paris, what could go wrong?

Every circumstance has a question that goes along with it.

How did I get so lucky? Why did you leave?

As for yours, it’s fairly simple.

Where did we go wrong?

December 18th – Seoul, South Korea.

Holding onto what could’ve been is stupid, you agreed upon that mindset a long time ago. However, the past, Him being the past, lingered around you like the scent of citrus still clinging beneath your fingernails even after washing your hands. Everywhere. He was everywhere. And no matter how hard you tried to erase the memories of what was, they served their memory purpose and disfigured your mind all the same.

And so, you replaced it.

Replaced the hurt, the searing burn, with someone else. Who turned into someone else, and someone else after that till the only thing sufficing any weekly relationship was a no-strings attached notion.

Until you met Seungmin.

He was your vice, the person dragging you out of your self-made hole of false sanctuary and safety. He laid all his flaws on the table, showed himself to you. Seungmin was gentle and kind, he was patient— more patient than anyone else in this world— and loving. Oh so loving.

But behind your undying affection for your boyfriend, he saw something you didn’t. Perhaps in your eyes, perhaps in your soul, bared to him on an onslaught of occasions.

Longing.

He saw longing in your treasured hues, longing for someone that wasn’t him.

Because some scars take longer to fade away, but yours hadn’t even begun to heal. Masked with his many layers of band-aids only to never staunch the cut, the one Hwang Hyunjin left on you.

“Seungmin I’m so sorry—“

“You love him, I know,” He nods his head, a sad, soft smile holding place on his lips.

Tonight was the night he officially talked about it. The unforgivable thought continuing to incessantly plague his mind.

Although, he didn’t regard you sourly for it. That connection you had with Hyunjin was something no other person could return nor deliver, and he had to accept that if he really loved you.

If Seungmin really loved you, he wanted the best for you, even if that meant the best were when you weren’t with him.

You were shocked when he brought up the matter, asked if you really missed him, asked if you still loved him. Yes, you had of course discussed your previous relationship, but never to this extent, never so blatantly.

Though the absolute kindness in both his tone and the way he looked at you, seated at the dinner table, kept you from lying.

It’s not fair. Not fair for Seungmin, your boyfriend, to have to take responsibility for your tormented feelings. But here he is, assuring you nevertheless.

Because he’s known. He knew from the start you weren’t over Hyunjin. Knew that, despite so much ache and anguish he caused, your heart can’t help but beat at his pace, fruitlessly connected.

And he knew in the end things would fall apart just like this, and his spot as a placeholder would fall apart along with it.

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt though.

“He hurt you, but you love Hwang Hyunjin, I know.” He whispers, fingers tightly twined beneath the table. There’s a sort of hiccuping sound bubbling up from your throat. You stave it down.

“I’m sorry.”

He smiles, smiles when you don’t deny it, reaching forward for your trembling hands to take in his own.

“I want you to be happy, Y/N. I’m not the one you’ll be happy with though.”

A soft squeeze before he rises and curves to where you sit, free-flowing tears threatening to cascade past glossy eyes.

Without hesitation you wrap your arms around him in a hug, chest wracking with unfiltered sobs. Guilty. Guilt is devouring your soul. You don’t deserve Seungmin, nor does he deserve to be hurt so cruelly by someone he loves. But here you are, ruining him.

He’d never admit it, but the pain in his eyes—the ones you’ve stared at countless times—will always remain evident. No amount of smiling or laughing can hide that.

Pulling back while your arms stayed hooked upon his shoulders, you savor the kiss he places on your lips, the ones he delicately pressed to each of your wrists.

Sad. It’s a sad kiss. A kiss that causes your entire body to wilt against him, crashing deeper and deeper into his warmth, his comfort. He’s not false, he’s real. A real, unadulterated love you’re undeserving of.

Guilty.

“If you’re happy,” He breathes, leaning in to land gentle pecks all over your face, forehead connecting with your own. “I’ll be okay.”

December 20th – Seoul, South Korea.

Your room is still exactly as it has been. Pillows faced the same way, sheets still tousled and hanging halfway off the bed. Hell, he hasn’t even touched the blinds — staying open throughout countless nights, your perfume lingering.

Like he was afraid his touch would break apart what he had left of you.

He hopes, swallowing down the remainder of wine in his glass, you’ll be able to look back and laugh at what used to be, find the matter childish and ridiculous.

What you used to be.

Lovers.

Not kids anymore, you taught him once before. You also taught him how deep a love could be. There’d always be a space for you here, just as you left it. Although, he doubts you’d come back. In fact, you’ve probably moved on with your life. Found someone else to fill the space he did.

But maybe, if he keeps the room as it was for long enough, your room; if Hyunjin keeps those tiny paper notes you wrote for him long enough, you would come back.

What a lie.

Wishful thinking takes you far then drops you into festering despair over and over, he’s learned this the hard way.

Starting with a text.

He blinked once, then twice, then three times—picking apart his brain in order to recollect anything, any details whatsoever that could decipher this random message on a Monday morning.

Paris.

Paris?

Paris.

It hits him, evidently.

Immediately clutching his head and simultaneously slapping an aghast hand over his mouth, a sensation recognizable as utmost horror obliterates his soul into pieces, quite literally rocking his world.

Months ago, he remembered.

You’d been stupid, you’d been drunk, and impulsively booked the tickets, laughing off the “no refunds” reminder as if nothing would’ve ever happened.

It did though. And now he’s dealing with the karma in return for that idiotic decision. Soon enough you both will.

Non refundable tickets to Paris, two days from now, together.

What were the chances?

Blindly tapping his password into his phone, he (just as blindly) jams his finger to the first caller he sees, who turns out to be Minho, seeming like both a blessing and a curse in unison.

Never before had Hyunjin so clearly lost his mind and control of his words, but there’s always a first time for everything, right?

“Minho, what the hell am I supposed to do? She hates me and the flight is booked two days from now. This is just.. Fuck!” Hyunjin pours, slamming his hands against the steering wheel, burying his head into the leather as if that would magically make his endless desperation disappear.

He didn’t usually curse, so when he did, whatever had happened was serious. He carried his words elegantly, proficiently.

He'd be the last picked candidate for elegance right about now.

“If I were Chan I would’ve said you should still try talking to her about it, but in my opinion that wouldn’t change a thing. So suck it up Hwang, it can’t be that bad.”

Ah. Remind me why I ever decided to call you hoping for advice.

‘Hwang’ was the name his friend had reserved for him, coming from a long line of tissues in the mouth and other ways Minho would pick fun at the blonde. But he was at least trying to help, somewhat.

How he got himself into this situation is honestly laughable, situation being your nasty breakup and a plane to Paris.

Great. Paris is great, right? Wrong.

Because this stupid, stupid trip to Paris isn’t one he’s going on alone to enjoy the sights and delicacies there, it’s one with you, the girl who ripped his heart in half two months ago. The trip you’d planned while you were still head-over-heels, not hating his guts.

Oh, and your tickets were nonrefundable. Couldn’t forget about that part.

“.. What am I gonna do?”

“Suck it up, duh.”

“And please enlighten me on how the hell I'm supposed to ‘suck it up’ in a plane seat right next to her for thirteen hours and spend every day glued to the hip, your honor.”

The mental picture of Minho’s fraud-innocent face through the line grated his nerves like nothing else. Brows lifted, mouth slightly open. He wanted to punch that imaginary face so badly right now.

"Then follow Chan’s tutorial on making it up to your now-ex. You asked me for my opinion, and you got it. Look, all I’m saying is this is a good chance to get some level ground between you two, even if you still fly back hating each other—"

“I don’t hate her,” Hyunjin quickly quips.

Honestly, truthfully, he doesn’t hate you, he can’t hate you and he doubts he ever will. You were the one responsible for years upon years of the best moments of his life, how could he hate you for that?

Although, by the way you looked at him that night, he doubts your response would be the same.

Minho sighs.

"Even better, you could fly back with her hating you slightly less."

For once the snarky man he was spilling his problems to had provided decent reason, it was terrifying.

From a spectators point of view, his utter fit had to be quite a sight. For the record, witnessing thee calm and collected Hwang Hyunjin go insane in his car wasn’t a sight you’d see on a regular day.

But today wasn’t a regular day. Instead, it was the day he found himself trapped in a loophole of love and war with his ex.

What were the chances?

There’s no book that could wholly describe Hyunjin.

Even as a writer yourself, not even Shakespeare could depict him to the full extent. He’s flawless but so flawed, kind and yet malicious in terms of his brilliantly unfair beauty.

Every day you run into Hwang Hyunjin. The first few times, you called it coincidence, told yourself his meeting happened to be at the same time, maybe he was headed to a neighboring coffee shop.

Well, before those few days turned into every day on your commute.

And when a breakup is as nasty as yours was, it’s not too refreshing constantly seeing your ex on the daily afterward.

Today, Hwang Hyunjin is wearing a tan trench coat that reaches down to his knees. He’s wearing the same tennis shoes as always (except his usual camera is absent from the picture), and his hair is pulled up, soft, sandy strands framing either side of his face. He stands on the other side of the crosswalk, occupied with his phone while you internally ridicule him.

Staring daggers into his frame, the frigidly cold beverage in hand doesn’t aid in warming up chilling temperatures burning your fingertips, signs of winter’s impending approach.

He looks up.

You avert your gaze to your shoes. You can feel his eyes on you; feel them traveling over your body, then to your face, boring into your skull. He’s waiting, watching.

And somehow, you know you’ll eventually have to make eye contact. Because on your normal route, your turn left on Harrison street, then right on Fords. He’s there. Unbelievably, wildly, he’s there.

It’s the one factor in your (almost) perfect life without him that makes things hell.

Back then, you were like clockwork. Not a minute going by without someone being awake. You taking a nap after spending two hours searching synonyms on Thesaurus, Hyunjin just waking up, heading out with his signature Canon camera loosely hung around his neck.

Two perfect oppositions leaving their cluttered love scattered all over a cheap apartment.

For Hyunjin, it was the mug you’d gotten him last christmas labeled in bold font: “ART WHORE”, while yours was an equally degrading “SHE WOULD RATHER FUCK THE MEN IN HER BOOKS” sticker print slapped on the back of your laptop.

Little did you know you’d be desperately scraping the sticker off seven months later, that you’d leave your chapter unfinished since breaking up and that he had likely thrown away that mug.

Or maybe not. Maybe he painted over it, scribbled it out and somehow made it look good. Hyunjin has a way of making anything catastrophic look pretty.

You, on the other hand, are an erupting volcano. One that cries its lava onto the earth and doesn’t leave a pretty photograph. One that froths and rumbles, and destroys things as it goes.

Perfect opposites, exactly.

Now for the real question, the monumental “where did we go wrong” part that served as an explanation.

Three little words.

I love you.

You lied.

Those are big words, big words for somebody. Big words for yourself, words you spoke to Hwang Hyunjin, looped in his apartment, making love on the couch.

Big words he didn’t return.

Big words that kept your heart stilled in your chest, left your lips blue, drowned as you collected your discarded clothes off the floor.

And you left.

You didn’t need the awkward silence, the “let me think about it”, the bullshit they spouted Kissing-Booth-style. You needed him, his reassurance when you were your most vulnerable. His three words that told you your three years together weren’t one sided, not wordlessly confessed through actions though too scared to say aloud – a feared incantation.

Words he never said. Because you did love Hwang Hyunjin, so much it consumed you into his favorite muse, him your inspiration. Then came the doubt. The recollection of your favorite, dearest moments. Was it all a lie?

Those hour-long seconds, tangled on his sofa, kept that incessant anxiety alive.

You thought you found the one when your drunk night didn’t turn into an orgasm you can’t remember, but rather being coaxed into a warm shower despite your complaining about your pants being too tight.

Somehow, you can still feel his tender kisses like a ghost of a presence, littering the skin of your shoulder instead of the sloppy alcohol ridden ones you’d known before, and for once you had woken up beside the person responsible — not to a note saying they had to leave early.

He was the one responsible for teaching you how to paint, propping you in his lap, hand guiding your own while tracing careful strokes on the canvas. It was hardly possible sitting on his stool together, though neither of you noticed (nor cared), too busy savoring the intimacy of the moment.

That was Hyunjin. He was the glass of water placed in front of you after one too many at happy hour. He was the relaxing bath when everything hurt, the shoulder to cry on.

But you were mistaken. He wasn’t the one. Seungmin was the one, the one you had left behind only to chase after a toxic remedy.

In fact, Hyunjin never was the one.

And it fucking hurt remembering that.

December 21st - 22nd – Seoul, South Korea.

The last news you’d anticipated slammed into you like a bus.

Cozied up at your desk, a number pops up on your screen, interrupting the one moment of silence you managed to enjoy. Most people didn’t call during your work hours, except Seungmin, who, for the record, called before work.

The number you’d memorized by heart was not normal either.

Him.

“Before you curse at me,” He begins, and your hand hesitantly hovers over the call button, jaw clenched beyond reason, silence shouting loud. No strength in your bones allowed you to reply. Was it fear, hatred? Both most likely.

Taking the time to continue, his silky tone lulls along the line.

“Do you remember the tickets?”

Hatred seemed the dominant factor.

“What are you talking about?” You rhetorically snap, obviously annoyed albeit confused.

Tickets? It’s been three months, why the hell are tickets the first thing he’s mentioning?

He sighs. “The tickets to Paris. You remember, don't you?”

It takes you a moment, then, aha.

How could you forget? The tip of the iceberg of what two naive, lovestruck idiots thought would be forever. Little did they know everything would slip past their fingertips.

”Well um, did you know they’re non-refundable?”

Huh.

“WHAT?!”

You’d just managed to convince yourself free of Hyunjin, but he simply dragged you further into his labyrinth.

Or so you thought.

You had grown since he broke you (with the help of your better-ex, Seungmin). You evolved better (or so you told yourself). So out of the plentiful lessons you’d learned during your reflection, the factor that stuck with you most was that nobody is there to pick up for you. No matter how much you think they will.

You swore yourself into the belief Hyunjin would mend you, but you lived blind to the truth that he was just as broken as you were, a dog chasing its tail.

And so, you dealt with it.

In ways.

Whether that was incessantly talking to yourself, fanatically checking the date, contacting Felix on the verge of tears for him to laugh and then attempt at consoling your doom, or googling the best ways to run away from your predicament, fate had it out for you.

A disgustingly impertinent, unfairly fair fate.

Packing wasn’t all too stressful, unless you count trying on an entire entourage of outfits descending from dinner to snow-attire, then focusing on simple.

And it really shouldn’t have been so awful getting into your car, nonetheless waking up to realize today was the dreaded day, but it was, and you seriously deserved an award for the amount of times you checked your clock.

Although, you at least expected to have a little bit of time before having to face him again. Talking and interacting, not just drilling holes into his head. Little bit of time as in, a few years at least.

You were wrong.

Not the first time that’s happened.

“Hi Hyunjin.”

Answering his awaiting call with unsteady pitch, your eyes immediately gravitate to the blond-haired man. Taller in stature, leaning against a nearby pillar by your gate, staring directly at you.

Never had it felt so terrifying.

“Hey.”

You hesitate, never breaking eye contact with the man you’re speaking to a few meters away.

“Are we…Are we doing this again?”

He’s solemn. He’s not the same. Different.

“I don’t know. You decide for me.”

Never for a second does your gaze stray to his lips that barely move as he utters the line. Not the same either.

Before, you’d always been mesmerized by his lips. Then he’d notice and tease you prior to delivering the long-awaited kiss, again and again till you were breathless and your head became dizzy.

But this wasn't before; this is now, filled with grudges and sourness.

“You know I can’t make big decisions.”

That isn’t him. Isn’t the Hyunjin who would always provide endless tips and support, opinions unable to be held back without duct tape.

“Because you don’t want to get hurt knowing we chose this?” He whispers, and you tug your bottom lip between your teeth hard enough to bleed.

“Because I want better for us.”

“Y/n,” He sadly laughs, and your name rolling off his tongue sends an ache clawing your chest. It’s humorless, bitter in his throat.

“There is no us, only you and me, remember? So who do you want better for?”

There’s no twinkle in his eyes or his charming smile, it’s dry and painful, like he’d been crying.

You don’t want to think about that.

“Tell me something, okay?” Holding your phone to your ear with an iron grip, you slowly inhale through your nose, sparing a fleeting glance to the floor.

“Anything.”

“If I cry, will you hug me?”

“Do you want that?”

Question after question. He reaches in further, ripping out pieces of your soul with each inquiry. Stupid, sure. But genuine, all the way from the shrouded depths of your mind did you ask.

Of course you want that, want what’s so bad for you. No strength can make you admit it.

He knows the answer.

You hang up the call, fiddling around with your suitcase prior to wheeling the blundering thing over and ensuring you find a comfy spot out of Hyunjin’s sight.

Only five minutes of talking and you already feel as if your body is splintering into little pieces he’ll arrange into the perfect puzzle, ideal and pleasing.

He won’t. Not anymore he won’t.

And in that stead you’ll remain shattered.

What a shame.

Now boarding Group Five. All passengers in Group Five are welcome to board.

The hailing announcement earns a muffled groan through your mask, begrudgingly rising to your feet while directing your attention solely upon the bridge and your tightly held boarding pass. Luckily, Incheon International Airport isn’t half as hectic as you anticipated, but you have a gnawing feeling Paris will have a lot more to say.

Truth be told, you thank every lesson on task focus you once deemed useless as you shuffle among Paris-goers to find your seat.

One that obviously had to be right by Hwang Hyunjin.

“How’s you and Seungmin?” He fixes the length of his headphones, sparing a quick look at you while speaking. You despise how easy he treats this, how easy he’s treating everything at the moment.

Unfortunately, booking this hell-on-earth back when either of you were in your demented fantasy-land meant sitting beside each other also, in assigned seats.

Cupid really needs to give up by now.

You grunt beside him, uttering a hushed, “We broke up.”

Tilting his head, Hyunjin presses his face closer, craning. Close enough that you hold your phone up as a barrier, shrinking away nearer to the window.

“…Who broke up with who?”

Asshole.

Sighing boisterously, you shove in your own earbuds, rolling your eyes. Hyunjin, cocking a brow, dejectedly slouched back. Although he doesn’t ask any more questions, and you successfully get through your first three hours in silence.

Well, prior to the flight attendant strolling by with her cart, mandatorily beckoning orders from each row.

Wheeling her cart over where your seats are, Hyunjin takes a ginger ale and the customary pretzels they hand out. So when she gets to you and you order a Sprite, the man to your right’s head snaps to you, giving you quite an incredulous cock of his brow.

“No ginger ale?”

You wrinkle your nose.

“I don’t like it,” Biting back, you interrupt him upon accepting the canned soft drink, expression bitter and unwavering.

“You always got it when you were with me” or “Wasn’t it your favorite” was what you expected to come out of his mouth, positively obliterating any ounce of peace of mind remaining inside your rattling skull. You weren’t about to sit another seven hours sulking about something your ex said.

The ex you were very much over.

Right.

Your new goal? Avoid genuine conversation for as long as possible, at least on this flight.

So, given the chance to be deep in thought, you came to a conclusion.

You were clockwork, just like before. Except now instead of just equaling the time of day, he was the hour hand and you were the minute hand, always chasing after one another only to briefly touch and start all over again in an endless cycle of time.

Although the rockier the air gets and the more your grip squeezes the armrest does your initial goal falter, finding his considerate gesture asking if you were alright practically impossible to keep from responding to.

Especially when a huge drop has his hand racing atop yours, both too nervous to truly let go.

Just the circumstances, you blame, as if this plane was the sole cause of your slamming heartbeat.

Bullshit.

Four days and this trip was going to be one for the books for a multitude of reasons, that’s for sure.

Let’s just hope you can land first.

December 23nd – Paris, France.

His assuring hold on your hand guiding you through the bustling crowds of visitors and locals storming Charles de Gaulle Airport gives you this disgusting nostalgia, festering in your gut the longer you focus on his dark head of hair in front of you, kind, magnificent almond eyes flickering back to catch sight of you time and time again — like you’d magically sift from his grasp.

It’s a miracle you managed to hit ground in one piece, nevertheless end up with the notorious artist-jerkface named Hyunjin navigating you through an supremely overpopulated airport.

Perhaps it’s the scent of wispy pine or faint cigarette smoke that tinges the atmosphere such a rosy hue, perhaps everyone’s anticipation for the holiday’s. Either way, it certainly doesn’t help fuel your “absolutely NO touchy-feely-ness Hyunjin agenda”.

Well, you had no doubt you’d have to stick to your morals on this trip in the first place, and it’s not like the odds were supposed to work in your favor. Although, a little assistance would‘ve been nice.

Guess you’ll just have to make due.

Lovely.

“Thank you!” You shout, forcing your voice to sound chipper speaking to the Cab Driver (opposing the twenty-two hours of traveling you managed to survive through). Except now, you didn’t know what to do nor what to say standing outside the hotel entrance, especially not when Hwang Hyunjin was going to be biting your ass for the next few days.

Much to your luck though, it seemed he was just as clueless as you, both prioritizing just checking into your room first and foremost.

Thankfully, the sights are a wondrous source of distraction, and you devise a plan to go walking more often than not (and not just to avoid Hyunjin). Each building appears as if it’d been expertly carved from stone, historically aged beige, awnings titled a bottomless array of Grand Seiko and Jaeger-LeCoultre.

To add, huge paneled windows are placed in each room, allowing a breathtaking view of the city as evening dawns. Whether it’s a quaint bakery hitched right below a bookstore or the bell tower seated comfortably in the middle of a square—you could never get bored.

Seems your interest tore you away from an unwelcomed reality until Hyunjin cleared his throat, thick eyebrows raised questionably.

“..We could go ice-skating?” He offers, index pointing to the huge rink a few blocks to the left.

You don’t have to speak for him to know your response, unzipping your suitcase to gather a new change of clothes without a word.

“Look, I know you want nothing to do with me, but I doubt either of us will ever have enough money to come to Paris again, so just, do it for the experience, not for me.”

That’s it.

“For you? You think I’m doing this for you? Are you really that conceited to think I’m still catering to you, Hyunjin? I’ve changed whether you like it or not, and I’m not the girl that’s willing anymore,” You toss your clothing to the side, giving him a downright venomous stare. Loathing. “I’m not yours anymore.”

“In fact,” Spitting poison, you stab your index to his chest, causing him to back up the more you advance forward. “You don’t know shit about me.”

He appears torn. His nose scrunches, and his lips form a squabbled line upon his face, evidently troubled.

Somehow, those actions that normally earned your sympathy only reared your deftly oiled gears more, angrily roaring without fail.

“Because if you did, we wouldn’t be like this.”

Gesturing around, you retreat back a few steps, arms slapping your sides irritably. Meanwhile, the tall man remains silent, attention magnetically directed down at his shoes. And for a swift moment, mere seconds, you feel sorry — apologetic even.

It makes you sick to your stomach.

You exhale. “I’ll go, and not for you. Understood?”

Hyunjin doesn’t reply, biting his cheek as he watches you disappear into another room.

You thank the refreshing scent of peppermint for its momentary relief upon entering the bathroom, practically drenching your face in ice cold water over and over as if it’d clear your head.

For you; you’re doing this for you, nobody else, you remind yourself, prepping a washcloth and your toiletries whilst praying the warm shower water eases your blaring jet-lag.

Yet, you didn’t expect a visitor to suddenly pop in while you were mid-shampoo, and it seemed he didn’t expect it either.

You swore the prolonged eye-contact went on for centuries, absolute terror embracing every aspect of your face through the clear shower door.

“Fuck! Get out!”

Scurrying like a character off a cartoon, Hyunjin manages – through spilling apologies – to blindly ram himself into the door, hands gripping his skull.

Suddenly, he pauses, hesitating.

“Wait but I’ve seen you naked befo–”

“GET OUT!” You scream.

“Okay! Okay.” He hurriedly slips out, leaving you to rethink every decision made with his name involved. A recurring thought at this point.

And with that, you quickly accept that your jet lag isn’t even close to gone and likely won’t be as long as the artist sharing your hotel room is within a six-foot radius.

Oh, and you don’t know shit about ice-skating.

Of course, Hyunjin is a natural on ice. He glides like a snow spirit, freer than ever. Meanwhile, your nails are embedded into your vice of a railing, knees shakily attempting at balancing with little success.

He’s the princess, and you’re the frog. It’s decided. Walking while you crawled, running while you walked. A step ahead that was at some point motivating, now plain humiliating.

The ice rink is jam-packed, citizens and tourists alike savoring the crisp winter, the faded twinkling of lights glittering in the distance.

“C’mon, just one?”

You, clawing the icy edge, confusedly avert your focus to where the voice came from.

It’s Hyunjin, gesturing to his camera while you piece together his request before childishly whining your despair. He lifts his toboggan upward, a few endearing tufts of golden peering out to hang over crescent moon eyes, evidently smiling.

Leave it to this man to test your sanity. How could anybody say no when he looked that cute.

“Fine, one.”

Not like I could run off anyway, you mentally consider, finding the fact your legs are quite literally flailing as a good enough sign to give in.

“Yes!” He chirped happily, hurriedly fiddling with his camera.

Watching him with that kind of expression, you witness your Hyunjin again, fumbling around, so excited about the smallest of things.

It hurts.

“I..” He trails off, voice barely audible whilst winking to see through the lense. “Don’t want to miss a moment of you.”

“What was that?”

The camera flashes, and you wonder if you heard him correctly.

“Oh nothing.” His lips curl into a sheepish grin, easing toward you and unexpectedly prying your hand into his own, involuntarily pulling you along.

Panickedly, you clutch onto any article of clothing available (another goodbye to your no-touchy-feely-ness Hyunjin agenda) similar to the handrails, squeezing your eyes shut while painfully awaiting a harsh slam against rock-hard ice.

A harsh slam that never happens.

You cautiously open an eye.

“One, two, one, two.” He counts steadily, soaring across the ice, unable to contain the huge beam the longer he watches you. Captivating.

You fight the urge to smile, the sensation of wind whipping your hair and his warm, reminiscent touch setting your nerves into a dopamine frenzy, making the routinely frown much harder than need be.

Nevertheless, perhaps staying in Hyunjin’s grasp would’ve been the safer option. Because with confidence comes failure (at least in your book of life), and your knees would’ve definitely appreciated not getting ruined.

“Are you alright?” Hyunjin murmurs, sympathetically regarding your black and blue frame, looking worse for wear, skates in hand.

“Amputation has never sounded more tempting,” Grumbling, you hobble to return your skates, the man tailing behind you choking back his giggle, kindly waiting in case you stumble.

From the way things are going, the probability is high. Except, Hyunjin walks on eggshells, worried you might rip his head off in the case he asked the question sitting tentatively on the tip of his tongue.

Keeping himself contained had never been as unbearable as when with you, constantly having to refrain from wrapping your precious self into his arms, witness those warm, beautiful hues blinking at him like globes.

Five minutes into the walk back and your near-face-plant-turned-catastrophe was his last straw.

“Can I at least carry you?”

Your head snapping back was almost comical, ogling at Hyunjin as if he told you he’d been neutered or something.

Insane. He’s officially gone insane.

So have you, apparently. Because after getting all too familiar with the icy side walk for a fifth time, you give in, stifling your thoughts from erupting out of your skull—feeling like your entire earth was slowing down on its axis when he easily swept you off your feet.

Cute, hell, romantic too, until you arrive back at the hotel and the curious looks sent your way have your cheeks burning.

“This is so embarrassing.” You whine, burying your face in your hands. Of course, Hyunjin just laughs.

You missed his laugh.

And he cares for you that night, transporting you from room to room in his arms despite your complaints you could do so yourself (although you secretly preferred it, and no, not because it was Hyunjin, only because of how bruised your legs were).

Plus, the mental exhaustion was practically debilitating, sleep beckoning you into its cozy embrace as the clock ticked on the wall. The man before you knelt in front of where you sat on the side of the bed, gently applying antiseptic to your cuts while you blanked in and out of consciousness.

Any common sense had completely abandoned you. Certainly, since you hadn’t noticed only one bed sat dead center in the room. Nor had you noticed through your half-asleep eyes how sweetly he maneuvered you around, pulling the comforter snug over your body.

His hand strays, wistfully smoothing some hair from off your eyebrow.

“I’m sorry,” He whispers, gathering spare pillows and blankets.

He’ll sleep on the floor.

December 24th – Paris, France.

Apparently, there was much more to this Paris dilemma than just the “going to Paris” part (excluding, y’know, the havoc that’s occurred over the past three days).

This fantastic surprise came in the form of a booked Louvre Museum date, now a bit more like a punishment with your current state of soreness merely rising up from bed. And, in turn, seeing Hyunjin sawing logs on the floor below, an action you were inaudibly grateful for.

You two are a different kind of romantic if that’s what you want to call it, especially when Hyunjin practically barricades the bathroom door, nonsensically shouting that he won’t make the same mistake of walking in ever again.

Sweet gesture, but it gets a tad bit irritating when you have to basically charge the door in order to move the chair situated behind it, making you doubt if it was to keep Hyunjin himself out or keeping you in instead.

Yeah. Different kind of romantic. Exes kind of romantic.

Once 5pm rolls around, you’re already dressed and ready to leave, trying your darndest to pretend you’re doing something on your phone to evade conversation. A middle school move, though your ego is on the brink of becoming extinct anyway.

Seems the final act is when Hyunjin steps out of the bathroom, wearing that tan trench coat he always did.

He notices you analyzing, stifling a very tempting smirk.

“I thought you’d like this jacket. Y’know, since you stared at it all the time.”

With a sentence you watched your endangered ego obliterate in real time, embarrassment swallowing you whole. The cycle is neverending.

Thankfully, at least one factor in your unsolvable equation proves itself useful, the factor being your already purchased tickets, granting an earlier entrance into what felt to be a new world.

A new world you recognized as Hyunjin’s world. Vast, expansive. A place you can get lost in and be okay with. Stories hidden behind gold-rimmed frames, so much to tell if only you’d listen.

He lingers by the Psyche and Cupid sculpture longer than usual. Briefly, he told you about them many moons ago. Their love awakening from something much more tragic, apocalyptical.

What a coincidence.

You spend what feels to be days in there, daylight from the lengthy windows overhead falling dark by the time you’re finished. The temperature dropped exponentially while you explored, ignorant to the frigid conditions till realizing you still had your trek back.

Curse the taxi service for not running twenty-four hours.

“You grew your hair out.” You comment, but it’s not really a comment, more like an observation you already knew and felt the need to point out for some odd reason. The awkward silence is suffocating enough.

Granted, you’d known his hair had grown. You saw him every day coming to and fro from work, so any adjustments he made you saw, some of which you remember loving oh so much.

This adjustment was his hair.

Hyunjin’s lips quirk ever so slightly, fingers straying up to tousle a strand.

“You used to love it when I grew it out.”

He continues to walk ahead, ignoring how you had stalled behind, numb grip desperately clutching your puffer jacket as if it’d magically allow you inhalations.

“You would tie it up for me, and stick my paintbrushes in the bun.”

This time, he spins around, seemingly unaffected by your (both literally and figuratively) frozen finger that simply blinks at him — robotic-like.

Like Hyunjin is a stranger. Like your Hyunjin, the old one you were mad for, is now a stranger.

“And I,” He sniffs in, his exhale causing a cloud of air to comprise in its stead. “Really wanted to marry you.”

There’s your breaking point.

He’s pulled you thread by thread closer to an unthinkable free fall, a freezing free fall. Unfurling your strings of yarn to no point of repair. So as you teeter on the edge, your defense mechanisms kick in. And before you can logically consider your options, you smack him.

Right. Across. The face.

He’s stunned, you don’t blame him for that, but there’s also a crinkle in his brows, a look of utmost hurt beginning to stain any somber expression left.

“You have no right to say that when you’re the one that caused all of this.” Your volume increases, unaffected by the glances from passerby.

You have no doubt the two of you are quite a scene, though common sense had long abandoned you, and no thought but fiery rage curls around you, tendrils alight.

“Why the hell did you want to marry me if you can’t even love me? Quit hurting and confusing me Hyunjin, I can’t keep doing this.” Practically pleading, he pulls his palm from where it babied his cheek, instead retreating to your wrists, keeping you in front of him.

“Listen.”

“No!” You screech, trying your hardest to escape.

“Listen.”

You pause, gingerly allowing him to adjust the scarf over your pink nose and ensure your gloves trap warmth for your fingers.

He bites his lip, gaze dancing across your features.

“I love you.”

You shakily exhale, wishing everything would just stop. Time would simply diminish into nothing but stillness, easiness.

Your anguish and anger was easy, and staying mad was a whole lot easier than this—confronting the pains of meeting him again, nonetheless this trip.

He’s finding the pieces to your puzzle.

You want to hide.

Worst of all? Especially hearing him say the words that ended you two months prior.

Cruel.

“I loved you,” His voice wavers. “More than anything, Y/n. And I still do. But when you said that, I got scared.”

He shakily inhales, the grip on you lessening a bit.

“Because when I say I love you back, that means I have someone to lose.”

It’s hypocritical, you know.

Hell, you know what it’s like to be a hypocrite more than anything right now. From hearing the godforsaken news to sitting in an airplane together after wholeheartedly promising yourself you’d never let him have you once more.

Yet here you were, dragging him by his collar into a kiss.

He kisses you back, like an idiot, childishly grasping his clothing-cladden frame against your face and savoring the small bit of heat huddled between where your lips meet.

His trench-coat, you remember, despite so many adjustments, is the same as usual, and it’s almost comforting to find he smells the same as well—floral, with hints of jasmine (mainly thanks to his favorite perfume). You remember that too.

Guess some things never change.

Perhaps he kept that mug after all, drank from it every day like he used to.

And perhaps, right now, he’s wishing back all the time you’ve spent apart, just like you are. Wishing you would’ve just talked like mature, capable adults. Figured things out.

Newsflash, you’re not mature adults. You’re two broken lovebirds fighting to find their song after being caged together, searching high and low for the perfect pitch when all you needed was a single note, a single start.

Positioning you where an arm wraps around your back, the other holding your cheek, he dips you as if in a ballroom dance, not kissing beneath a street light.

Everything is pretty in Hyunjin’s presence.

“Hwang Hyunjin,” You whisper, nostrils burning the longer you’re surrounded by snow, falling in hefty sheets at this rate.

He hums into your lips, maneuvering his head to kiss away the chilled tears beginning to froth upon your waterline. And in those moments, you feel so fragile, so weak in his touch.

Almost instinctively, his grip tightens oh so slightly.

“I really don’t want to lose you.”

And he laughs, a muffled laugh that nonetheless causes his shoulders to shake before delving further into your kiss, melting away every bit of anguish you felt, all the hurt and ache. Dissolved into nothingness by his lips.

Figures briefly illuminated by the light of the street lamp, you remain ignorant to the encroaching nightfall, the way the stars seamlessly blend with white snowflakes. Something out of a fairytale.

You’re certain you could’ve stood there forever, all numb and freezing cold.

But in love. So very in love.

For him you would’ve stood there. And the you still in denial without understanding this entire story would’ve died before admitting that.

This time, you’re okay with letting him finish the puzzle, create a song as lovebirds.

“You won’t, I promise,” He traces your cheek with his thumb. “Now let’s get someplace warm, shall we?”

Landing an affectionate peck to your burning red nose, he takes your hand, guiding you through climbing snow toward your hotel, sign reading “Hôtel de Vendôme” glittering in the distance.

In your opinion, however, it was too fleeting. A kiss you hadn’t realized you’d been waiting for until it actually happened, till you pathetically craved it again and again.

Although, that didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy gaining feeling back in your fingers and toes, treasuring the flicker of the fire crackling beneath a brick mantel. A few guests litter the lobby, dishing paper cups of hot chocolate left and right, taking the opportunity the mistletoe hanging above a long forgotten stairwell provides.

Christmas Eve and you’re beside the ex you swore you’d never spend it with, spend any time with generally. So surreal you simply cannot stop thinking about it, enough that you become too distracted to notice the mischievous glint in Hyunjin’s vision.

Well, before he points upward and you notice the dangling mistletoe.

And he kisses you again just like you wanted. Deeper, slower, like separating would cause you to break apart, carving your kiss into his memory for a second time.

Standing there, too lost in him to ever consider anything better than this, you begin to think maybe you’ll be able to finish that stagnant book of yours. Maybe it’ll be about two lovers turned two exes, whose trip to Paris might just have been the cherry on top to hurt feelings and broken love. Because, at the end of their tribulations, Cupid falls in love with Psyche.

And you begin to think—as the clock’s ringing announces midnight has arrived—maybe this Christmas will pass by on a good note.

No, you’re certain of it.

sunboki, may 2022 ©

FIC TAGLIST. @slut4colinbridgerton @armystay89 @shujohajohaminnie @minhosbitterriver @callmedarlingsstuff

582 notes · View notes

babyjakes · 5 months

Text

a diamond's gotta shine.

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | toys

pairing | soft!daddy!lloyd hansen x little!reader

warnings | ddlg (daddy!lloyd, little!reader.) super soft!daddy!lloyd, just how we like him! butt plug (and me not knowing shit about luxury brands lol.) reader has an oral fixation; sucking and licking. anal prep/fingering/stretching. clit rubbing <3. mostly praise and encouragement. an orgasm as reward, yay!! implied aftercare. err hints at exhibitionism later? idk just to be safe.

word count | 1,425

an | this wasn't really the plan for this prompt originally, but i woke up today and decided i wanted a fic of lloyd gifting reader a luxury butt plug so we're just rolling with it lol. this one's dedicated to my sweet sweet angel sabby @hansensgirl hope you're well bby, and happy holidays to you!! <33

"C'mon, princess. Up on my desk."

Lloyd was gently nudging you toward the large surface, which he had suspiciously cleared off from its usual state of mild disarray. You lifted a curious brow at the broad man, earning a pearly grin as he gently stepped in to sweep you up in his arms. Lifting you effortlessly onto the desktop, he set you down with care, as if you were the most delicate and precious thing in the world. He trailed a playful hand up your thigh, fingertips teasing at your skin through the silky fabric of your nylons. "Daddy," you hummed eagerly, letting out a soft squeak as he gently pinched at your tender flesh.

"Panties off, baby. Lay back for me," Lloyd instructed steadily. And he sure as hell didn't have to ask twice.

As you moved quickly to remove and discard your hose and panties, you couldn't help but try to sneak a peek at what your daddy was up to as he made his way to the other side of the desk, opening up a drawer and pulling something out discreetly. He then strode over to one of the couches in the middle of his office, grabbing a few throw pillows before returning to you. "Here you go, angel. Let's get you nice and comfy," he murmured, propping you up with the pillows supporting your back.

"Daddy," you whined again, a hint of neediness now present in your voice. Lloyd smiled as he brought up the gift to finally show you; the contents of his hands made you gasp. A beautiful plug, shiny gold, with a stunning ring of crystals embedded along the base. "Oh Daddy," you breathed, unable to take your eyes off the glittering piece.

"Genuine Winstons," Lloyd told you proudly, taking a small bottle of lube from his pocket and placing it on the desk beside you. "Only the best for my princess, of course."

"So pretty, Daddy," you remained in awe, earning a loving chuckle from the man as he watched you be entranced by the gift.

"I'm glad you think so, sweetheart. Now be a good girl and open up for Daddy, need you to get this nice and wet for me while I'm prepping you." He teased the tip of the plug against your glossy lips, guiding one of your hands up to hold the base. You sucked and licked happily at the metal's impressive curve as Lloyd got to work between your legs.

He parted your feet, bending your knees up to lie at either side of you as your dress slipped up easily in cooperation with his efforts. Pausing, he took a moment to revel in the sight of you. His gaze fell to your perfect folds as they sat before him on display. With a low hum of approval, he brought a gentle hand up to smear your wetness around teasingly. "Look at you, already getting wet for Daddy. That's my good girl," he smiled as he brought a finger down to begin gently prodding at your tighter little hole.

Still working the toy you'd been given between your pouty lips, you let out a whimper at your daddy's tentative nudges. You gasped softly at the feeling of a cold glob of lube being dripped onto you. Heat rose up through your cheeks in slight humiliation as the slippery mess was worked thoroughly over your puckered rosebud. "Okay baby," Lloyd hummed encouragingly, "time to open up this pretty little hole. Are you gonna be good for Daddy and take it?" You offered the sweetest nod you could manage, earning a beaming grin from the mustached man. "Of course you are. My sweet little girl," he crooned lovingly, giving no further warning before starting to push his first digit past your difficult outer ring.

You squirmed gently, big pleading eyes looking up at Lloyd as you let out a weak whine. "Hmmph... Daddy..." your voice wobbled.

The tall man brought his unused arm up to stroke back your hair in a calming manner. Furrowing his brow in gentle concern, he did his best to soothe you. "Shhh, my love," he cooed as his large finger worked up to the first knuckle, then the second, gradually stretching out your sensitive walls. "That's it, see? Nice and gentle. Look so pretty like this, taking Daddy's fingers up your sweet little bottom. My pretty girl," he kissed your forehead, holding you steady as he began introducing a second finger.

It was a slow, steady process; Lloyd knew that it had to be. He rarely played with you like this, mostly due to how much you struggled to take anything up your poor little ass. But he hoped that getting you a toy like this might help you adjust to the unfamiliar sensations; you had discussed prior that you'd like to do some proper anal training and play. Needless to say, you both felt this was the perfect first step in that endeavor.

Once you were comfortably and confidently taking two fingers, Lloyd finally felt ready to transition you over to your shiny new toy. "That's it, sweetheart. Fuck, so perfect for me," he was chuckling as your hips bucked up to meet his hand, his digits driving steadily into you. Much of the initial discomfort was gone, replaced with the most deliciously sinful burn blooming in the base of your tummy. Your eyes were shining with pride as you looked up hopefully at your daddy. Kissing your forehead again, Lloyd nodded as he slowed his fingers to a stop, retrieving the now-soaking plug from your drooling lips.

"Okay princess. Here we go-" You hummed eagerly as the tip of the gold bulb was rubbed up against your slippery opening. Lloyd surprised you a bit by bringing his free hand up to gently dip into your leaking pussy; much to your daddy's delight, you had made quite the mess during his generous preparation period. He dragged his fingertips up further, liberally smearing your glistening arousal over your clit to coax the tiny pearl out from under its protective hood with his expert touch. Your knees were trembling as he began working the nub in steady circles, while finally beginning to ease the large plug up into your awaiting walls.

"O-oh my- Daddy," you mewled as the warm, slick piece of metal stretched you out across its broad curvature. At its widest circumference, the object's insertion was bordering on painful. Lloyd's eyes never left you as he did his best to rub your clit faster, hoping the added stimulation would help ease the burn.

"Almost there baby, almost there," he promised, letting out a breath of relief in tandem with your own as you finally made it past the peak, the rest of the toy slipping perfectly into its place with little effort. As the glittering base nestled itself between your smooth cheeks, Lloyd looked on in pleasure and pride. "There," he hummed lowly, gently giving the center a few taps, earning the sweetest little whimpers from you. "What do you think, angel? Has someone earned an orgasm?"

His pace was quickening over your clit before you could even process his words. Hands flying down to grip the edges of the desk below you, you nodded desperately. "Y-yes Daddy, please Daddy!"

Your daddy smiled as he continued his steady rubbing, finding your sweet spot with ease. It wasn't long before you were reaching up to cling to his sturdy arm, your breaths stuttering as you chased your release. "That's it, baby. Go ahead and come for me. Been such a brave girl for Daddy," the man allowed, nodding as your high ripped through you.

"Daddy, o-oh Daddy! Aahhh-" you cried, the plug lurching within you as your poor little cunt clenched down on nothing. You were carried lovingly through your high, Lloyd's fingers only slowing as your spasms and contractions finally began to cease.

"That's my girl," he murmured gently, reaching up to brush your hair back out of your face as he gave your pussy and puffy button a few playful pats. "Now what d'you say we get you cleaned up, huh princess?" You were too weak to respond, only managing a lazy nod as you slumped against the pillows behind you, struggling to catch your breath.

He moved from your side momentarily to grab a cloth from one of the desk drawers. "Oh, but sweetheart- the toy stays in," he informed you with a wink. "We're having guests over later; Daddy wants his pretty girl to shine."

552 notes · View notes

throneofsapphics · 3 months

Note

More nyx x sunshine readerrrr

Maybe she gets attacked or something

I need drama

misplaced chivalry

Nyx x f!Reader

Summary: visiting with your family goes horribly wrong

Warnings: death, graphic depictions of violence, blood, minor injury, references to torture, a hint of angst & fluff, not proofread well

A/N: I did see your other ask, thank you for your request! I hope this hits the drama mark. same reader as ambushes and invitations, but they can be read separately !

Solstice with Nyx and his family was more than you could’ve imagined. Garlands, decorations, wine, food, music, and great company.

Unfortunately, with the holiday over it meant it was time to do your annual obligatory trek back home. You managed to delay yourself two days before the guilt started creeping in. Estranged would be the best way to describe your relationship with your parents. They didn’t approve of your move to Velaris, or of your chosen profession.

Trying to imagine the negativity flowing from your body, you took a few deep breaths before approaching the house. Outwardly, it was pleasant - normal. Red brick, a neat garden, a path leading right to the front door, a few chickens could be heard clucking from the coop behind the house. Absentmindedly, you wondered if your father ever got around to expanding that.

Inside the house, it always felt strained - even before your relationship with them began to fall apart. There was still love, still good memories, and you put most of your conscious effort into focusing on that. It would be a good visit, and maybe things would begin to mend. Worst case you wouldn’t see them again. Your throat caught, despite the tension that’s the last thing you want.

Three knocks on the wooden door, shaking out your knuckles, and you took a step back, rolling your shoulders and planting your feet like you were headed right into a conflict.

Your mother answered the door, a worryingly pleasant smile on her face as she tugged you into her arms, squeezing tight. “You’ve grown so much,” she commented.

Fighting back a wince or sharp retort, you beamed at her. “It’s good to see you.”

She hummed, grabbing the crook of your elbow to lead you further inside. The scents of your childhood hit you at once, the vague smell of apple pie, old leather furniture, and something else you couldn’t quite place.

“... made your favorite,” you hadn’t realized she was speaking and quickly added your thanks. Your father came in, shooting you a smile as well, and that was basically a warming welcome from him.

Later, you realized just why they were being so pleasant.

“Ella’s daughter completely cut them off,” your mother commented, shooting a nervous look your way. Right - they were scared you’d do the same.

“That’s a shame,” you moved some food around on your plate. Not really, you figured she wouldn’t do it without a good reason. The night was pleasant - no judgemental comments about your profession or choice on where to live, no prying questions about your personal life or if you’d get married soon. When your mother nearly begged for you to spend the night, you decided it couldn’t hurt.

Nyx knew you didn’t have the best relationship with your parents, and you’d declined his offer to come with you - outright - but he wanted to be there for you in some capacity.

Your home village wasn’t terribly far from Velaris, and still in easy Daemati range, so he cast his mind out, searching and focusing on you, like his father taught him.

“How’s it going?”

Around a minute later, “Surprisingly good, I’m going to spend the night.”

He fought the disappointment that he wouldn’t see you later, and reminded himself to be happy for you.

“Should I say good luck?”

He could’ve sworn a soft laugh came through. “Maybe.”

You filled him in on a few more details, and eventually he promised to check in the next morning, ignoring your gentle teasing, calling him a mother hen.

It happened at breakfast before breakfast. The faint tang of copper filled your senses and you launched out of bed, reaching blindly for the knife Nyx had given you, well aware your knowledge extended to sticking the pointy end at them.

First, your mothers body laid by the door, limbs sprawled at awkward angles, chest unmoving. The door was still open, the remains of a greeting still on her lips, the knife lodged in her throat. Scanning the room, it felt like time stopped, your entire world screeching to a halt. Three bodies laid on the floor, all dead. You heard one faint familiar heartbeat and scrambled down the stairs, feet sliding in the pools of blood.

Wood splintered into your knees as you slid the last few feet to your father, the knife lodged in his chest.

His eyes were half-glassed, knife lodged in his chest. You knew he’d killed the other three men. How had you not woken? Had he cast some kind of shield, now faded as life left him?

You gripped his hand tight, squeezing as his eyes focused.

“Run,” his voice was hoarse, filled with pain.

“I’ll get a healer,” the words were just above a whisper, told in vain - you both knew it was too late.

“I’m proud to be your father,” one tear dripped down his cheek. The first tear you’d seen from him.

“Stop,” you choked.

“We both loved you very much,” the faintest squeeze, maybe just a twitch of his fingers. “Run.”

“I’m not leaving you,” you snarled. Your magic had already cast a basic shield around the room. It wouldn’t hold under heavy assault, but you’d be damned if you let him … die alone.

Maybe it was part of your nature, to accept the inevitable, to try and bring joy where you could, but you focused on him - repeating the happiest memories of your childhood until his chest stopped moving. Just then did you sob, as you closed his eyes.

It was stupid to stay here, but you were in shock - you couldn’t leave.

It was normal for a short delay between responses, and he waited. A chime of the clock - five whole minutes, and nothing. It shouldn’t have taken this long, and he knew you wouldn’t ignore him.

“Are you alright?” He tried.

“Help,” the word was so bleak, your voice desolate and burdened in a way he’d never heard from you, your mind completely open. Fear struck him as he saw through your eyes, fear that could either freeze him in place or bring enough anger to topple mountains. Blood - everywhere, five bodies - two that looked like your parents, three others - and your hands. You were knelt on the floor, one hand still in the pool of blood, the other holding your fathers hand. He could imagine your wide eyes, stuck open in horror.

One of the bodies was still moving - chest still breathing, rising to his feet, the knife lodged in his thigh, pulled out and already healing - and you didn’t know.

“Run, y/n, run.” Nothing. He needed to get you out of there. Panic he hadn’t felt before hit him. “I’m coming, love.”

In that second, as he was still watching through your eyes, there was just enough time for the man to slice at your back, movements uncoordinated, a strike designed to incapacitate - not kill. You dodged in time for the blade to slice across your shoulder.

The next second, a wave of dark, pure night slammed him against the opposite wall with a loud crack. Bound in ropes of magic, he left him alive for now. For answers, later. He slid his arms under your shoulder, and he winnowed directly to the river house - right outside his father’s study, where he knew at least a few of his inner circle were gathered. You were limp in his arms, chest heaving with silent sobs, hands clenching at him like a lifeline.

“I’m here,” he murmured, one hand running over your hair. There was no indication you heard his words.

One arm held you close to him as the other banged on the door, his mind showing a sequence of the last few minutes to everyone inside. He was beyond words, too fucking angry to try and explain.

The door flew open. His father, eyes a dark stormy night, anger rolling from him in waves, his mother’s anger matching, but switching to worry as she spotted you. Azriel and Mor were there as well, and Nyx vaguely registered his father grabbing them and disappearing.

His mother gently ushered them inside, Nyx lifting you into his arms - your body nearly frozen. As magic healed the small gash on your shoulder, as it made the blood disappear, he still held you close, still ran his fingers through your hair and said over and over again, “i’m here, i’m with you, you’re safe,” even as his mind wandered towards how soon he’d be able to get revenge on your behalf - revenge he knew you’d never seek out. Gods, you were more likely to try and show them mercy. Like hell that would happen on his watch.

“He said he was proud of me. He said he loved me. He cried.” Nyx jolted as you whispered, the first words in the last two hours. You’d fallen asleep on him - but he hadn’t moved an inch, not as people came and went out of the office. Nobody suggested he try and move you, nobody dared to get too close to you, not with his temper and protective instincts barely under wraps. As far as he knew, your father had never said those words to you. Nyx didn’t know how to reply, so he placed a kiss on your forehead. It was stupid to be mad at a dead male, but he wished the male would’ve told you as often as you deserved.

Nyx only left you alone after you were secured in a room warded as heavily as possible, impenetrable except by him or his family.

“We’ll need to talk to her, eventually,” his mother said carefully. His fists clenched at his sides, but he nodded.

“Did you get anything from the male?”

“Azriel’s working,” his father replied, eyes searching his face.

“I want to see,” Nyx insisted.

“You don’t need to see that,” his mother argued, but his father held his hand out, understanding flashing in his eyes. Nothing he hadn’t seen before, but she was still protective.

Apparently, his mother knew when she was fighting a losing battle. “I’ll keep an eye on her,” she promised. Nyx sent a grateful nod her way, and took his fathers hand.

By the looks of it, Nyx knew Azriel was conducting a special symphony of pain - one reserved for those who’d hurt people close to him. He watched, leaned back against the stone wall - arms crossed, as each word was pulled out of the male, resisting the urge to filter through his mind.

He waited to comment until Azriel packed up for the night, until the cell door had closed, a barrier in place - one the male wouldn’t hear beyond.

“What are you thinking?” the shadowsinger offered - not a demand or command, but letting him know he’d listen.

“They weren’t trying to kill her,” he tucked his hands into his pockets, hiding anger-induced shakes. “They wanted to get to me.”

“Yes,” Azriel confirmed. Hearing it from another was worse than his own mind. Would you hate him now, resent him? Being with him put you in danger, and he couldn’t live with himself if something happened to you.

Azriel read his expression easily enough - he was the only one who could. “Pulling away from her won’t keep her safe, not that they already know.”

Nyx exhaled slowly, “it’s my fault.”

“No,” the other male said sharply, insistently. “You’re not to blame.”

The words were futile, he’d keep blaming himself.

“I’m so sorry,” Nyx’s hand ran over your hair, your eyes blinking to adjust to the sun streaming through the windows. Why was he sorry? He was sitting next to you, you were laid in an unfamiliar bed, but you knew the hunch in his shoulders, the worry in his eyes.

The events of the previous day hit you, slamming into your mind, filling you with an unfathomable grief.

“There’s no reason to be,” your voice was hoarse and rough. “You saved my life.” An uncomfortable silence filled the room for a few minutes, and for once you didn’t have the energy to break it.

“It’s my fault they came for you,” you could feel the guilt in the statement, and knew exactly what was coming next. He’d try to leave - to ‘keep you safe.’ Nyx was stubborn as a mule, but this was something you wouldn’t budge on. Sure enough, he said, “you’re safer without me.”

Planting your palms on the mattress, you pushed yourself up to sit - the remnants of the sleeping tonic making the movements slower than usual. It was misplaced chivalry, some kind of attempt for him to be noble and assuage unnecessary guilt. Usually you were slow to anger, but this was enough to piss you off.

“Do you not like me anymore?” You asked. He blinked, surprised. “Are you not attracted to me?”

“Of course I am,” he stumbled over the words.

“Is there a valid reason you don’t want to be with me?”

“It’s not safe-”

“I don’t care,” you insisted.

“I can’t put you in danger,” he insisted.

You weighed the next words carefully, deciding what would get the best reaction. “Are you scared, Nyx?” A muscle in his jaw flexed. “If that’s the only reason you want to leave me, I won’t accept it.”The steadfast look in his eyes wavered, and you knew you had your in. “Tell me you don’t want me anymore.”

He shook his head.

“Say it,” you insisted.

“Of course I still want you,” he muttered. Evidently, he’d realized he wouldn’t get his way. Good.

Your body swayed as you reached for him, and he grasped both of your shoulders to steady you. There was the slightest twinge in your shoulder, thanks to the wound from yesterday, but besides that you were in good shape.

He noticed your small wince, and tried to move away, but you reached for him, cupping both of his cheeks, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. Eyes fluttering shut, he let out a slow, slow breath.

“Until you have a good reason, you’re stuck with me,” you murmured.

“It’s not stuck,” Nyx groused, and rearranged the two of you, laying you down, head resting on his chest.

You hummed in content. The grief would come later, but for now you could lean into this moment, lean into his quiet strength.

#acotar next gen #next gen acotar #nyx archeron x reader #nyx x reader #nyx archeron x y/n #nyx x y/n #acotar drabble

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 6 months

Text

With Discretion - Part 3 ^**

Sorry for the delay friends! I had a night lol But here is part 3! I'm panning on doing a little holiday check-in for this pair so it's supposed to end a little abruptly. More to come over the christmas/ny season!

Read the other parts here

Warnings: infidelity, mentions of insecurities, sexism, divorce. Oral (m receiving), face fuck, sex (unprotected p in v)

WC: 17.5K

It was nearly 6:30am when you were awakened by some knocks on the door. You groaned and yawned before trudging out of the comfort of the large king bed that you had melted into for the night. When you opened it up, eyes slightly squinting a bit through the blurriness of your vision you saw Harry holding two large mugs and wearing an amused smile on his face.

“God, I knew you woke up pretty.” He said softly and you sniggered as you opened the door to let him in.

“Oh, sure thing.” you replied groggily with a giggle as he stepped inside.

“Good morning, by the way. I ummm, just wanted to come by and see the sunrise with you. I can leave if you’re still in need of some more sleep, but I was trying to hint at it yesterday when I mentioned it and-”

“I did get the hint. You beat my alarm by 3 minutes actually!” You smiled, “I just wasn’t sure if ummm…you’d be joining me or not, but I’m glad you’re here.” You assured him. “M’just gonna brush my teeth and ummm, grab a sweater or something.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit cold out.” He said and then just made his way outside to the balcony and while you went into the bathroom to freshen up a bit. As soon as you were more awake and cozy you headed out to join him on the balcony. “I tried the new milk steamer they have in the kitchen and made cappuccinos, I think.” He said as he handed you one of the mugs and you smiled, “Didn’t sweeten it or anything though.” He warned as you looked down into it.

“S’alright. Good coffee doesn’t need sweeteners.” You said with a smile.

“Well I hope it’s good then.” He joked and you both laughed softly before turning to the horizon that was turning a lighter shade of blue now, a very light hint of orange starting to emerge from the darkness. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you. I need that bed though, it’s phenomenal.” You hummed and he smiled.

“It really is. I’m glad you were comfortable.”

“And what about you?” You asked him.

“Good too. Had a dream…a nightmare actually about some thief breaking into my home and stealing all my tiramisu!” You immediately burst into laughter, “Don’t know what could’ve brought that on but… that’s what I dreamt of.” he said with a grin.

“Yeah, I wonder…” you joked with a playful roll of your eyes and a gentle nudge of your elbow into his side. You let your laughter subside and the sound of the waves on the shore took over, bringing a peaceful silence over you for a few minutes. The sky was clearing up more and more by the minute, showing off its splendor without any hesitation.

“Are you nervous about going home?” Harry asked you and you set your cappuccino down on the thick rail of the balcony.

“A little bit.” You admitted, “Wish I could just fast forward to the end of it all.” You sighed and he extended his left arm over your shoulders and pulled you into his side.

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.” You sighed and looked at the sun starting to peek up over the horizon, “You were right, this is gorgeous.” You hummed.

“Yeah, it’s really something.” He smiled as he leaned his head against yours. “You know, I could give Cal a raise so he has to pay you more in alimony.” He mused and your body started shaking with laughter before it inevitably squawked out of you. Your head was thrown back as he laughed along with you, really happy that this is how you reacted to his little joke.

“Ah, that’s funny…” you hummed when your laughter died down.

“I’m like 25% serious.” He added and you shook your head.

“You’re silly.” You smiled before sipping at your cappuccino.

“Just a little bit.” He grinned. “What’s the first thing you’re gonna do after you settle the divorce?” He asked and you hummed pensively.

“Take my Italian vacation…” you hummed, “I’ve been begging Cal to take me on a romantic getaway to Italy for years! Like a month-long thing though. I want to get to know the entire country.” You smiled. “But I think I can take myself on a romantic getaway.” You said and he hummed.

“That sounds like a wonderful time. Italy is probably my favorite country.” He hummed. “Does your entire trip have to be…by yourself? Or can you afford a little extra baggage for a few days?” He asked and you twirled around and smiled up at him.

“A few days, huh?” You asked and he nodded with a coy smile, “Mmm…perhaps that’s arlright.” You smiled.

“Ok… and well for the rest of your trip, I know a lot of really excellent spots, have a lot of friends in Italy. Chefs, architects, artists…could fix you up with them when you’re in their region? See the best parts of each place.” He offered.

“Ummm, yeah! That sounds phenomenal. It’ll take me a bit to plan, but I’m definitely interested in that.” You assured him.

“Alright. When you have a date let me know.” He said and you nodded. You just stayed looking at each other and your heart fluttered when his dimple started carving deeper into his cheek.

“What?” You asked and he shrugged.

“Just…excited for you, I guess. Like, you’re going to be just fine. I really love that for you.” He said and you felt your cheeks warming with a blush.

“Thank you, I think I will be fine too.” You agreed.

“OK, the good part is starting!” He said and twirled you back around and you both set down your mugs. You smiled at the now purple and orange ranges of colors that were painted across the sky as the blazing sun started showing more of its brilliant face. Your smile widened with each passing second as more of it started to emerge seemingly from nowhere at all. It was breathtaking to say the least.

You couldn’t help but feel that this was the perfect thing to witness as the sun rose on a new journey in your own life. It was kind of poetic. It made you smile as you leaned a bit more weight back on Harry and he held you a bit closer. The moment was solemn as you both kept the quiet between you and just let yourselves feel the awe of the moment.

Harry was in his head as much as you were though. He was thinking about where things would go with you from here. He supposed you’d want some time to just reacquaint yourself with yourself. He figured that you would probably move out, but would you stay in New York or head off somewhere else? Would you go back to work and give up your business? Would you even be interested in a romantic anything with anyone for a while? Because he wanted that with you…or to at least try. He had huge crush on you and the more time he spent with you the bigger it got. Obviously, he didn’t know nearly enough about you, but he was interested in getting to know you deeply. He was quite enamored with you just from what he’d already seen and experienced for himself.

“What’s your favorite color?” You suddenly asked and he smiled.

“Green.”

“Like your eyes?” You asked and he chuckled.

“No. Like…a jade color.”

“So basically your eye color.” You sniggered, teasing him.

“Yeah, I guess so then.” He sighed in defeat, “Just makes me feel calm. And you?”

“Right now…mmm, like an orange color. Like…oh, well just like that I guess.” You said as you pointed to the little sliver of sky right above the rising sun. “It just makes me feel warm and fuzzy…I don’t know.” You said.

“Yeah, I can see why.”

“It just looks so…happy.” You shrugged with a smile, “I can’t wait to just…feel it for myself again, you know? Like from the inside.”

“You will.” He assured, “I promise you will.” He said with certainty and you turned around, your eyes met his. You reached for his face and he wrapped his arms around your waist and you kissed him deeply. You melted against his warmth, loving the feeling of your lips meeting together passionately. You hadn’t felt this riled up in years. You could jump out of a plane with how invincible you currently felt. As you pulled apart and your eyes blinked open they met with his. Harry’s lips twitched up in a grin and you just nuzzled down into his neck timidly.

“I really like you.” You confessed and he just squeezed you a bit tighter.

“I really like you too.” He hummed with a smile as he stared at the sunrise.

After that lovely moment between the two of you, you went your separate ways and it was back down to reality. You had just been watching TV, waiting for Caleb to wake up when your phone rang and you saw it was a call from him.

“Hello?”

“Did you leave?” He asked tiredly.

“No. M’upstairs, had Gerard give me another room.” You explained.

“Alright. Well ummm, I’m just gonna have a shower real quick and we can stop somewhere for breakfast, yeah?”

“I’d rather not. Just want to get home and have that talk.” You said to him.

“Sweetheart, I’m so fucking hungover.”

“Cal, you need to stop stalling.” You sighed.

“We can even start the conversation in the car! I just feel horrible right now and need to get something in my system.” He groaned.

Not even twenty minutes later you were sitting across from each other in the booth of a little diner off the first exit of the highway. You had already had your coffee, so you were just getting through some French toast while Cal nursed his second cup of coffee while he forcibly nibbled on some toast and bacon. You were looking at him expectantly and it appeared like he wanted to speak but the words were stuck somehow. You sighed in disappointment and surrendered, just glancing down to your food instead of him. You had just finished cutting off another piece of your French toast, just about ready to guide it into your mouth when he spoke up.

“I want a divorce.” Caleb’s words were low, but clear. Coward. He couldn’t do it while you were looking at him.

“Good. I do too.” You said cooly and he let out a quick, dry laugh. His response made you look up at him. “What?” You asked.

“That there is one of the things I…hate about you.” He said with a smile. His eyes weren’t full of contempt or spite, they were more amused than anything, it confused you for a second, “I used to love it though. S’one of the things I loved the most about you.” He said with a smile, “The way you’re so collected…so unaffected by everything.” He said and when you realized he wasn’t being a dick you smiled. “You’ve always been too good for me. I knew that.” He said with a hint of defeat in his voice.

“I met Dani. She threw up.” You said and he frowned upon hearing this.

“What’d you say to her to make her react that badly?” He questioned as he glanced down into his mug.

“Nothing. She just…felt so guilty I think? I actually pulled her to a trashcan before she puked all over herself.” You informed and he hummed.

“Well, it’s big of you to be nice to her.”

“Why? She didn’t do anything to me?” You pointed out and he smiled and nodded.

“Right.” He sighed before licking over his lips nervously. “It’s different with her.” He said and you now glanced down at your food again. “She’s just as brilliant, but in a more…reserved way.” He said and you chuckled.

“In a way that’s less intimidating, you mean?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” He said.

“Since when have I felt that way to you?” You questioned.

“I don’t know…I suppose I’ve always felt that way to some extent but over the last couple years it’s been…too much.” He explained.

“Is it something I’ve done?” You asked. Wanting to know if there were things that you did to make him feel less than. Because if there were, you definitely wanted to clear the air with him about those things.

“No. No. You’ve always been lovely.” He assured you. “It is an issue with me, 100%.”

“OK.” You said quietly.

You still had so many questions for him, but were soon back on the road and you’d occasionally type them into your notes app as the questions arose. When you got home the tensions seemed to rise between you two. It was a nervous type of tension versus one of anger. You were very past the point of being angry at Cal for his cheating. You were still a bit irritated for the whole dinner thing, if you gave it some thought but your time with Harry had made the shit show worth it, so you were no longer dwelling on it.

“Should we get a couple drinks?” He asked you nodded and followed him to the bar area in your home. You hoisted yourself up onto one of the stools as he headed behind the bar. He just served you both a scotch on the rocks despite it only being about 11am. “Well, it’s five o’clock somewhere.” He said as he handed over your drink and you just knocked it back quickly while he savored his.

“So Dani…how did that happen?” You asked him as he set his tumbler down.

“Just working together. She’s really good at stats, so I would always check my work with her. I felt like maybe I bugged her a lot, so I just started being a bit more friendly to not…annoy her as much, but I soon realized that I liked her vibe. It started out really platonic, like just work stuff, then we started getting lunch together every now and then, then afternoon coffees and ummm….yeah. It just happened over time.” He explained.

“How long?”

“We were together for a year.” He explained and you nodded.

“And before then? Have you…been with other people?” You asked and he sighed.

“Yes.” He confirmed and you swallowed thickly.

“The whole time?” You asked, not being able to look at him.

“Yes.” He confirmed shamefully and that’s when the tears started to form.

“Jesus…” you whispered.

“I just don’t think I was ready to get married when we did.” He said and you took a deep breath before scoffing.

“It was your idea to get married, Cal!” You said with frustration and he sighed.

“I know…I just…thought that that’s what you wanted. Like when we talked about it, it just seemed like you were excited for it and I just thought that…if I didn’t show you that I was serious about you that you’d…leave me. That’s why I proposed to you.”

“I mean who isn’t excited at the prospect of getting married but…did you want to marry me?” You asked him.

“I was sure I would want to down the line…like I didn’t do it just like that. I mean, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think I would get there. I mean…I’ve always had a wandering eye…I just thought it would…change.”

“Well if you’ve never tried to work on that before it just wouldn’t suddenly go away, you know?” You said and he shrugged.

“Well, s’too late for that now.” He said.

“Yeah…” you whispered as you wiped a stray tear from under your eye, “So now you’re in love with Dani?”

“Yeah and she wants absolutely nothing to do with me so…” he said with disappointment.

“How did she find out?” You asked.

“I have a note on my phone about how to bring this up to you and she saw it. I had to explain it to her and she just blew up on me.” You looked at him like he was an idiot.

“I think anything less than that would’ve been a bad reaction, Cal. If she loves you too and just discovered that your whole relationship is actually an affair of course she lost her mind! She probably feels awful!” You scoffed.

“Well, I told her that I’m in love with her and that I wanted to be with her though. Like, I wanted to end things with you for her and like…I guess I hoped she’d come around with that information, but it’s been months and she will barely even look at me. ”

“Can you blame her?” You questioned and he sighed.

“Guess not. I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me but…either way, I think that our marriage has run its course.”

“I think so too.” You agreed and he sighed. “I ummm…knew you were cheating since the beginning of the year.” You confessed and his eyes met yours. “You accidentally made a reservation from our shared account while I was on there looking at a reimbursement from a client. I showed up to your office before the time of the reservation, thinking it was like a work thing, best case scenario.” You explained, “Obviously, you weren’t there… but then I started noticing other things and inconsistencies when you’d talk to me about supposed work trips…and I just…didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“It wasn’t your responsibility to.” He said and well, that much was true, “Honestly, I haven’t been happy with you for a long time, Y/N. I should’ve said something about it when my feeling started to change. I’m really sorry, you didn’t deserve this.” He apologized sincerely.

“Thank you.” You said and he nodded.

“So ummm, I think we need to meet with Shawn to draw up some divorce papers.”

“Yeah…I’ll call him tomorrow morning, see if he has some time this week.”

“Perfect. Ummm, I think I should probably go stay somewhere else.”

“Yeah, if you want to.” You said to him and he nodded.

“I actually ummm, already have another place in the city. It’ll be easier with work and all.”

“Oh! Ummm, yeah that’s alright then.”

“It’s with my money by the way. I haven’t used anything we’ve put together for that. Or for Dani. Or any woman for that matter.” He said, as if that would somehow make all of it better.

“Alright, well thanks.” You chuckled and he shook his head.

“Again, I’m really sorry for all of this, Y/N.” Cal said and you smiled sadly.

“Yeah, me too.” You whispered.

“OK, I’m going to pack a bag. Just let me know what Shawn says.”

“Will do.” You said before he chugged down the rest of his drink and then left quietly.

You still had so many questions, but you didn’t know that they were even worth asking anymore. The more Caleb had spoken the worse things had gotten for you. You sniffled a bit, but just held in all of your tears because he really wasn’t worth it. You slid off of the counter and washed the tumblers before setting them on the rack beside the small sink to drip dry. You then reached for your phone and texted Cecilia to see if she was available for dinner. Thankfully she was and you just avoided Caleb by doing miscellaneous tasks around the house until he was gone with a large suitcase and duffle bag.

You got showered and then ordered in a fat pizza so that you and Cecilia could binge out a bit while you shared what had happened. She knew that you suspected Cal of cheating and that there was plenty of evidence against him, but wait until she heard all of this…and well, Cece’s responses never disappointed.

“That dog!” She gasped when you finished telling her about how he said he’d always been sleeping with other people. Now you were in tears because you were grieving your life…your time…your youth! You were so young when you got married to Caleb but you were in love with him then, so you thought it wasn’t a bad idea. But you wish you’d been less naive, you wished you’d listened to your family and your friends who were concerned about this decision. For the first time in your life you felt like you were stupid…over a man’s mistakes! It infuriated you that you felt like that. Why should you feel bad or regretful over things you’d done out of love? It made no sense, but here you were, actually feeling regret for marrying Caleb.

“Do not bring sweet, innocent dogs into this.” You hiccuped before setting your wine glass down. God, you’d be in the shit tomorrow with the hangover you knew you’d have. You had a bunch of meetings with some potential vendors the next day since the lady you used for all your tents and table rentals was moving out of state and taking her business with her. Plus you now had to contact your lawyer to tell him about the divorce. It was just going to be a bad day tomorrow.

“You’re right.” Cece said with a pout, just as drunk as you were, “What a scum bag.” She finished and you sighed.

“Do you remember Harry?” You asked randomly and she turned to you with a furrow in her brow.

“Harry from the club?” She asked and you nodded as you sniffled.

“That’s his boss.” You said and then bit your lip, “We…fucked…well he did all of the fucking…” you confessed and she turned to you, jaw on the ground.

“You did not!”

“I did.”

“That night?”

“Yeah.” You confessed. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him this entire time. Like he was so fucking wonderful! And ummm, last night too while Cal was off somewhere, drunk off his ass. Harry railed me in the kitchen until my legs were as weak as overcooked noodles and then he licked tiramisu off my tits and I have a huge crush on him!” You blurted out and Cece started screaming and laughing. You both looked insane, all snotty with swollen eyes from crying together and now screaming and giggling like school girls over the most fantastic lay of your life.

“Oh my god! He’s so hot…even licked tiramisu off your tits…that sounds like a dream…” she hummed in approval.

“It really is.” You said quietly. “I mean, he’s always so nice to me. That first time, at the hotel, he told me if I was his he’d never take me for granted like Cal does.” You said more solemnly.

“Sounds like he likes you too.”

“Oh, he does…Even suggested that we just be friends til everything gets sorted out with Cal, which is so sweet of him.”

“He sounds fake.”

“Right!?” You exclaimed, “Like way too good to be true.”

“If he’s so perfect why isn’t he with someone?”

“He did mention before that he hadn’t met someone who he really wanted to settle down with, so he’d just been seeing people very casually.”

“Awww…what if you’re the one he wants that with?” She cooed in her drunkenness and despite the butterflies in your tummy at the mere idea of getting to date Harry, you tutted.

“I don’t think we know each other that well.” You reasoned, “As long as he’s not all fragile like Cal I think there’s a chance. I mean, I toughened up because Cal said I was too soft to be an entrepreneur! I honed in on those traits and skills. I stepped into my power, not just as a business owner, but as a woman! And now he tells me I’m too abrasive and intimidating? Like…what if Harry likes those qualities in me now, but like Cal, he’ll soon discover that he wants someone who’s of an easier disposition as a partner?”

“You mean a pushover?”

“I don’t think women who aren’t outspoken are pushovers…” you clarified, “But like, some of us are just a bit more outspoken, you know? I don’t think I’m tactless or rude about it, and certainly not emasculating-”

“Men emasculate themselves. If Caleb has never felt that he’s been good enough for you then at one point or another all of this would’ve ended anyway. The problem in this marriage was him, babe. Get it through your head! Don’t let him make you feel like being who you are and stepping into your power were the problems. Like you said, he wanted that for you and now that he feels less than he thinks it’s bad? Sexist. Sexist. Sexist!” Cece said with harsh claps for added emphasis and you smiled.

“You’re right.” You ceded.

“Of course I am!” Cece guffawed and you sighed. “Do you think Harry will fire him?” She asked.

“Harry’s not petty like that, I don’t see why he would. I mean, Cal’s good at his job and like, as much as Harry and I are friendly, my personal problems with Caleb have nothing to do with their work, you know?”

“I guess you’re right. Though, I do think it’d be more satisfying for everyone involved if Cal stays working there and has to see you with his boss.” Cece said and you laughed.

“I wouldn’t want to rub his face in it…”

“Oh please, what do you think he did to you last night at that dinner, babe? Intentional or not, he set you up! Genuinely, how did he think people would react to the news of him being married out of nowhere?” She questioned, “You need to stop taking the high road and just hit below the belt, just once! It feels so good, I swear it does!” Cece pleaded with you.

“Yeah, we’ll see…” you hummed with a smile. “Like I don’t want to make him feel bad on purpose, you know?”

“Fuck that! He deserves it and you deserve to see Karma doing her best work to restore balance to the universe.” She said simply and you giggled. Count on Cece to always want to see justice served, it’s not that you didn’t, but you just didn’t like forcing Karma’s hand. You knew it would all happen in it’s due time and you could wait.

… ONE MONTH LATER …

You were doing really well on your own. You’d started putting more effort into your business, which saw it growing. You’d started taking better care of yourself, and much to Cece’s dismay, channeled your rage into a new hobby - gardening. Which as peaceful as it was meant to be, was actually full of rage because you absolutely hated it. You hated dirt, you hated how needy plants were…but were trying to learn to love it. She’d scolded you many times over the fact that you weren’t just plowing Harry every chance you got. But like you had explained to her and him before, you just needed to figure things out for yourself before you involved anyone new in your new life. You had spoken to him on the phone a few weeks back for an hour, just catching up and checking in on each other, but apart from that he was giving you space which you desperately needed.

Maybe you didn’t love Caleb anymore, but you were still grieving everything that could’ve been. No one who gets married out of love goes in thinking that it’s going to end in divorce. Sure, it’s always a possibility, but every person went into it hoping that they would beat the odds, not become a statistic, yet here you were. Thankfully though, the divorce proceedings were going swimmingly thanks to the prenup, which you had insisted on if only to prove to Caleb all those years ago that you were in it for love and not his money. Cal had always been very generous though and helped with a lot of your debts from school and other big expenses from when you were younger and struggling. But thanks to that, you were both leaving the marriage without many losses. Though Cal’s generosity was once again proven when he assured you that he’d take care of the legal fees since he’d been the one who’d ended the marriage long before you guys took a step towards divorce.

You were still trying to find a place of your own to live. Cal had charged you with overseeing any renovations on the house that would make it more marketable so at least for the time being you weren’t being rushed out of the house. But you were debating on whether you should stay in the suburbs or head into the city. However, the more you looked into it the more you were convinced that New York City was not a place you wanted to live. Sure, it was gorgeous, but it was a bit gross, prone to flooding, infested with tons of critters, and those were just a few deal breakers among other inconveniences. And finding a place that had minimal exposure to all of these things would cost you an arm and a leg. Also, your clientele was largely in the suburb areas, so you were staying put for now until you found something else.

You’d already done a lot of renovating to the home when you purchased it, so there wasn’t too much apart from some flooring changes to the staircase and renovating the half bath and it’s connected outdoor shower that was used for your luxurious saltwater pool. You had just shown out the flooring guy when your work phone started ringing and you glanced down to see a number you didn’t recognize and let it go to voicemail as you weren’t really able to take any new clients right now. It was a bit later in the day when you realized that this caller had left a voicemail. So you put it on speaker as you opened up your fridge to grab a snack when you heard a shaky exhale through the speaker.

“Ummm, hi Y/N. This Is Daniela, I got your number from Tamika. I hope you don’t mind.” She spoke nervously, “Uh, I was wondering if you were available for a talk over lunch, o-or dinner or just some drinks sometime this week? I just wanted to talk about ummm…Caleb.” She said, “This is my cell, so feel free to call me or text me. Ummm, yeah, bye.”

You bit your lip as you thought about it for a moment. As much as you didn’t want to get involved in the throws of their affair, you at least wanted to clear the air with her and assure her that you didn’t blame her for the demise of your marriage. You had your divorce hearing in a month and you didn’t want to start making Cal think you were ganging up on him with his mistress, so you wanted to tread lightly. You decided to consult with your trusty best friend before calling Dani back.

“Hey girl!” Cece greeted cheerfully and you instantly smiled.

“Hey! How’s your day?” You asked and she hummed.

“It’s been…interesting.” She said, “But I have a feeling it’s about to get better.” She sang and you chuckled.

“I’m just calling for your input, nothing to do with Harry-”

“A damn shame.” She interjected and you sniggered.

“Dani called me. She wants to meet up with me.” You said and Cece perked up.

“Ooh…”

“I don’t know if I should go though.”

“OK, why not?” She asked.

“I just don’t want Caleb to think I’m plotting against him. Like, we’re just so close to finalizing the divorce and going our own ways. I don’t want to stir up any trouble.” You explained.

“Then just tell him you’re gonna talk to her. You don’t have to keep it a secret.” Cece said and you groaned.

“I know! But I know he’s going to say no and give me shit about it-”

“Well too fucking bad! At least you’re giving him a warning!” She said and you giggled.

“Right…I might also be nervous because…I’m thinking of perhaps asking to see Harry after.” You confessed and Cece’s excited shriek made you giggle, “Not for sex.” You said.

“Boo…” she grumbled and you rolled your eyes.

“I just…miss him a bit. He’s been so understanding, but like…I forget about the stress when he’s around. He makes me feel…really good.” You said and Cece cooed.

“Awww babe, I really think you should talk to Dani and then get any sympathy you have for Cal fucked out of you so good you don’t have problems for the next few years.” She said and you laughed loudly.

“God, Cecelia…” you scoffed.

“It’s what you deserve.” She said simply and you smiled.

“You know, I should just call you when I need to hear what I want to hear.” You mused and she cackled.

“What’re best friends for?” She asked and you smiled. After agreeing to meet up over the weekend for brunch at yours, you decided to call Dani back. You agreed to meet for lunch on Friday, which was good, hopefully you could arrive a bit early and surprise Harry. Your eyebrows furrowed when you heard the front door open and walked over to the entrance of the home to see Caleb walking through the door.

“Hey!” You greeted him with a smile as you approached him and he smiled as well as he swung the door shut and walked up to you and quickly kissed your cheek.

“Hey, you look great!” He complimented you, “How’s it been?” he asked as he pulled back.

“Good. The flooring guy just left a bit ago, he’s gonna remove the carpet from the stairs. And then the contractor is coming tomorrow to see about the pool shower/bathroom.”

“Perfect.” He smiled.

“Yeah. And what brings you here?” You asked.

“I have a business trip to San Diego.” He said as he made his way up the stairs, “It’s legit.” He added as he glanced back at you, wearing a smirk and you rolled your eyes.

“And you had to come here for?” You questioned, as you made your way into your previously shared bedroom that was now just yours.

“I need t’pack my lighter clothes. S’still summertime in California! Or have you been gone so long you already forgot?” He asked as he walked into your closet and you plopped down onto the bed. “Can you grab my suitcase from the trunk of the car? I forgot it!”

“Yeah!” You called out and headed downstairs and grabbed his empty luggage from the car. Soon you were placing it on the bed and he was coming out with a few shirts. He seemed in a chipper mood, so you were going to bring up the Dani thing while he was.

“Should I take the yellow one?” He asked of the light yellow shirt he brought out.

“No, it kinda washes you out. Also you’ll look like Dwight Schrute.” You said and he chuckled.

“You’re right.” He said and set it aside and grabbed another instead.

“It’s good you’re here though, I was actually going to call you about something later.”

“What was it?” He asked as he inspected another shirt.

“Ummm…Dani called me.” You said and he glanced up at you. You saw the glint of hope in his eyes.

“What did she want?”

“Just to talk. We’re gonna have lunch on Friday.” You said and he sighed, “And I don’t intend to…shit talk you to her or anything. I think she’s just…feeling a bit lonely. Probably wants to make sure I don’t hate her or something.” You said and he nodded.

“Yeah, I think she needs that.” He said and you hummed.

“How’ve you been doing?”

“I mean, way better at work now that I have nothing else to do.” He said with a small smile, “Just getting by, I guess… waiting every day hoping that she’ll talk to me…let me explain…anything really.” He said a bit sadly as he proceeded to fold up some trousers, “I didn’t know I could feel so strongly about a person. I mean, I thought that with you that was as much love as I could feel. We just connected so well you know?”

“Oh I was there…” you recalled with a smile and he did as well.

“I felt challenged. Like that sounds…bad, but you were something to work towards, you know? You kept me on the edge of my seat. So good that you made me want to be better. To be more…hence the whole CFO thing. I felt like I needed to aim higher.” He explained.

“But with her?”

“With her I felt like…enough for the first time in a really long time. And I can’t discredit any of our marriage, because you’ve pushed me to achieve a lot of the things I wanted to achieve. But I don’t know, it just kind of felt like…”

“Like we never quite found the sweet spot?” You asked and he nodded.

“Yeah. It’s like happiness was always just out of reach. Like I could see it, but I couldn’t get there.” He explained, “Was it like that for you?” He asked and you shrugged.

“I guess so, but I didn’t know it until you said it just now.” You explained as you extended your hand asking him to hand you some of his undershirts to fold and pack up. He did so easily, “I mean, as you know, my parents are still married. But they’ve never been all that affectionate with each other so I didn’t think there was anything wrong with how we were you know? Like that was the picture I had growing up, always striving for more, and well, they’ve made it this far.” You said and he hummed.

“Right… my parents are like that too. Do you think they settled?”

“Well historically, men settle for partners more than women.” You explained and his eyebrows arched upon hearing that, “It’s called settling for Ms. Good-Enough. So men are more likely to settle for a partner who meets most of their expectations rather than the person they really want out of fear of missing the train, or whatever people call it.” You said, “At the end of the day I guess we’re all scared of being alone.” You said as you dropped a neat stack of his undershirts in his luggage.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He hummed, “Do you think Dani will ever forgive me?”

“Yeah, I’m sure she will but I don’t think that necessarily means she’ll give you another chance.” You said to him and he frowned, “I mean, you have to understand just how humiliating this is for her. You let her fall in love with you and made her think that she was your one and only, only for her to discover that she was actually your side chick! I mean, that doesn’t mean your feelings weren’t real, but it’s…shitty to find out you’re the other woman. It’s happened to me before in college and it sucks. Moreso when I got bitch slapped for “seducing a taken man” when I had no idea he was taken! I think that’s why I’m nice to her because it’s not her fault and I shouldn’t take out my frustration on her. Like it sucks to be in that position. You wonder if there’s any world in which you would’ve been the first choice. Or if you were the first choice, would that person still go off and find someone else? And it feels like…you just can’t win. Either way you feel horrible about yourself and it doesn’t matter how much love exists, you still feel stupid and foolish for falling for something like that. I know that you love her, Cal, but you really hurt her and you need to respect how she navigates this.”

“Can you at least tell her to talk to me? I just want to properly apologize to her. Not some rushed interaction like we’ve had. I won’t try and change her mind I just need her to know that she…means everything to me and that I fucked up. I need her to know that.”

“Cal, I don’t want to mettle. I don’t want to be her friend, I just need her to know that I don’t blame her.” You said and he nodded in understanding.

“Do you hate me?” He asked after a beat of silence.

“No, Cal. I just wish…I knew about all of this early on so that we could try to…not make such a big mess.” You said and he smiled.

“Yeah. Next time.” He said and you smiled. “What about you? Anyone new on your radar?” He asked and you considered talking to him about Harry for a moment, but quickly decided against it, you could keep this to yourself until you actually figured it out.

“No, just been focusing on me and the business. Hanging out with Cece a bit much…been drinking way too much on the weekends.” You said and he chuckled.

“Cece is fun.” He said and you nodded, “I’m surprised she hasn’t hooked you up with the eligible bachelors of New York.” He chuckled.

“Oh believe me, she has tried!” You laughed as you reached over and grabbed another pair of slacks he had brought out.

“Of course. She acts fast.” He said and you nodded. “Well I am always rooting for you. I hope you know that.”

“I am rooting for you too.” You assured him, “So long as you’re being good.” You said and he grinned.

“Yeah, lesson learned.” He stated with a smile, “My flight doesn’t leave until 9:30pm. Want to have some dinner and drop me off?” He asked and you side eyed him.

“Only if I can drive the Quattroporte.” You said and he grinned.

“Fine.” He agreed, much to your surprise. But he was lonely and just needed to be around someone. You felt bad for him, but there really wasn’t much you could do about that.

Cal’s flight was leaving from JFK so you drove a bit closer to get some dinner in that area. It was nice just chatting, talking about your plans after everything was finalized with your divorce. You took your time and were really enjoying how amicable things were between you two, and finally the time came to drop him off at the terminal.

“Thank you for being so gracious about everything, Y/N. I don’t deserve it after everything I’ve put you through. You’re…remarkable and I was right.” He said and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

“About?”

“You being too good for me.” He said and you smiled at him and shook your head.

“Have a good flight.”

“Thanks.” He said before getting out of the car. He grabbed his luggage and with one final wave he was heading inside and you were heading back home.

The next two days went by rather quickly and you were now nervously trying to pick something out to wear to lunch with Dani that would probably also make Harry swoon just a bit. You were planning on getting there a bit early to see if Harry had a few minutes and were manifesting that he was available. You ended up choosing to wear a nice fall outfit with some flared, tan corduroy pants, a thin black turtleneck long sleeve, and some pointed black, heeled boots. You grabbed your purse and hurried out and took off for the city. You had no idea why you felt nervous, but your stomach was in complete knots the entire drive.

Finally, you were inside and riding up the elevator to the administrative floor, fidgeting with the rings on your fingers. It was nearing lunch time so there were people hurrying about as you calmly made your way past reception, the other offices, and back to where his office was, according to the map you scanned when you walked off of the elevator. You saw Tamika straightening out a few things at a desk near Harry’s office and approached her.

“Hey Tamika!” You smiled at her and she glanced up at you.

“Hey Y/N! What a nice surprise to see you up here.” And then her smile faltered a bit, “Oh ummm, Dani told me she was meeting with you. I’m sorry about everything with Cal.” She said and you shook your head.

“It’s alright. I knew about it a while ago. At least we can end it amicably.” You said and she nodded.

“Yeah, as long as he’s not an asshole about it.” She said with you sniggered and nodded.

“No, he’s been very good about it.” You assured him, “Are you heading to lunch?”

“I’m actually, leaving for the day. I only have afternoon classes today.” She explained.

“Oh OK.” You said and she smiled.

“Cal’s away on business in San Diego but-”

“I actually wanted to talk to Mr. Styles-er Harry for minute. Is he in by any chance?”

“Yeah, he’s in there.” She smiled, “You can just go on in.” She assured you with a smile and you nodded.

“Thank you! I hope class goes well.”

“Thanks! Have a good weekend.” She said before grabbing her bag and waving as she headed off. You waved back before turning around and walking the few steps over to Harry’s office. You gave a few knocks before pushing open the heavy, partially frosted glass door and peeking in.

As soon as Harry detected some movement he glanced up from the documents in his hands and you saw his face light up at the sight of you.

“Oh my god, hi! What’re you doing here?” He questioned as he immediately pushed himself up from his seat as you headed towards him. You hummed happily as he hugged you and you hugged him back, letting your body fit against his so perfectly.

“Dani asked to meet me to talk over lunch.” You informed as you started to pull back, “Thought I’d drop in and see if I could stick around in the city afterwards. Maybe we can go to dinner?” You suggested and he sighed as his hands found yours and glanced down.

“Sorry, tonight’s no good. I have plans.” He said with a small pout.

“That’s alright, kinda dropped in unannounced didn’t I?” You shrugged.

“Just for transparency’s sake, it’s a date.” He shared, “It was a set up.” He sighed, “I don’t know why my friends meddle-”

“Because they care about you.” You said and he chuckled.

“They’re really bad match makers though.” He chuckled and you giggled.

“Well good thing it’s just a set up then.” You said and he grinned.

“Still get nervous though. Kinda seems unfair to agree to date people when you’re not interested in them.”

“Very true, but hey at least you’ll be nice about it.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, always.” He assured as his thumb ran over your knuckles gently. “What about tomorrow? Do you have plans?” He asked.

“Just brunch with Cece. Gonna get day drunk and lounge around in the pool.” You said with a grin and he smiled.

“That sounds great. Can I crash it? I hear you have a really nice pool.” He hummed and your smile widened.

“Yeah! I think Cece would love that more than I would.” you giggled and he chuckled.

“She was cool.” He hummed and you smiled.

“I’ll let her know you said that.” You said and he nodded.

“Yeah, please do. So ummm, should I bring something?”

“Ummm, we’re doing more breakfast-y food, so I think it’ll be best to make that at mine.”

“Settled. I’ll bring the champagne then.” He concluded with a smirk and you laughed happily and hugged him again. He seemed surprised, but was quick to hug you back.

“Oh, I’ve missed you.” You hummed without really thinking too much about it and he chuckled.

“I’ve missed you as well.” He said quietly, his large hands slid down to your waist and you pulled back. Your eyes met his and then fluttered down to his lips.

“I know we said just friends but-”

“That’s alright, I can make an exception.” He whispered as he leaned down and attached his lips to yours. You hummed happily and let your hands glide up his brawny chest before draping them over his shoulders, your bodies moved closer together, allowing your kiss to deepen. He gently nipped at your bottom lip which made you smile, “What?” He breathed out, his smile matching yours now.

“I just really like how you kiss.” You whispered and he smiled before leaning back in and you teased at his bottom lip with your tongue. He opened his mouth a bit more to let you in. You moaned against him when you finally got to taste his tongue. He sighed as his hands slid down to your bottom before squeezing and then giving a very quick little spank which made you gasp and pull back from the sloppy kiss you were sharing. “Mr. Styles!” You exclaimed with a shocked expression.

“Sorry, these pants are very nice.” He mumbled and you smirked.

“These I did wear for you.” You admitted.

“Well thank you, I love ‘em.”

“You’re welcome.” You giggled.

“Maybe I can get in them sometime.” He hummed with a smug look, “Like just to try ‘em on, they’re nice.” He clarified, but the mischievous glint in his eyes confirmed his double entendre and you chuckled. “So what time tomorrow?”

“Noon-ish? I’ll text you my address.” You said.

“Perfect. Can’t wait.” He hummed before dipping down again and kissing you once more. Just as things were getting steamy your cellphone started ringing. You two broke away from the kiss with a wet sound and you sighed as you pulled your purse between the two of you. You saw it was Dani calling and you answered. You glanced up at Harry as you brought the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi Y/N, I’m just wrapping up. Should I meet you in the lobby?”

“Yeah, that’s good. See you there.” You said and then hung up.

“Time to go?”

“Yeah.”

“You nervous?” He asked, hands sliding into your back pockets and you giggled as he did this. He then started pushing you closer to him again.

“A little bit. Obviously she wants to talk about Caleb, but I just don’t know what about. M’not at all gossipy, so I hope it’s not just to talk shit.” You chuckled.

“A little shit talking might take place.”

“Well, yeah she can vent if she needs to. But Cal and I have been able to be very amicable and I don’t want to do anything that ruins that vibe. I did tell him I was meeting her and he said it was fine.” You share.

“Well I don’t know Dani all that well but from what Tamika tells me she’s really sweet. And so are you, so I’m sure it’ll be fine.” He assured you.

“Right.” You exhaled and he chuckled.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. And do me a favor, bomb the date, yeah?” You joked and he knocked his head back in laughter.

“I promise you I’ll do my very worst.” He assured you and you chuckled before tiptoeing and kissing his cheek before he slipped his hands out of your back pockets and let you go. “See you tomorrow.”

“See ya’!” You sang before hurrying out of his office and back to the elevator.

Once in the lobby you quickly found Dani and shook her hand as she officially introduced herself. The place she had in mind for lunch was a little cafe around the corner. So as you walked over you made some small talk. Soon enough you were seated and reading over the menus provided. You were a bit anxious to know what it was that she wanted to talk to you about and as she kept hopping from topic to topic about food and drinks and dessert you started to get a bit impatient.

“Good afternoon, what can I get you guys?” The waiter suddenly came up and you glanced up at him and ordered your food and drink first and then Dani went ahead and ordered. After he left, assuring you the food would be out soon you glanced up at her and she smiled a bit nervously.

“So what did you want to talk about?” You asked her and she sighed.

“I just wanted to clarify that I didn’t know about you at all when I agreed to be with Caleb. I feel really guilty about it though and I don’t know how to make it stop.” She confessed.

“Well I can assure you, I have no beef with you. I don’t blame you at all for his behavior or for his choices.”

“So you’re not getting divorced because of me?” She asked and you shook your head.

“Not you personally. I mean, Cal is in love with you and that made him realize that we needed to divorce. And for me learning about his relationship with you definitely was a factor in why I wanted. divorce, but there are other factors to it as well. I mean, why wouldn't I divorce someone who doesn't love me?” you explained and she bit her lip.

“Has he cheated on you before?” She asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, for years apparently.” You sighed.

“Oh…” she said with a small frown.

“I only found out about his cheating at the start of the year. So when he was with you already. He hasn’t been with anyone else other than you lately though, if that’s of any consolation.”

“To some extent it is…I mean, he keeps trying to talk to me and apologize and explain himself, but I don’t think there’s a justifiable explanation for any of this.” Dani said and you nodded.

“Yeah, I agree.”

“I love him. I love him so much, the last few months have been torture, but I’d be a fool to trust him after what he did to me. And now hearing about how this is just something he does…like it doesn’t just stop because you love someone, you know?”

“That’s precisely what I told him the other day. He’s made a habit of his infidelity and there’s no way that’s going to change unless he really works hard at breaking that habit.”

“Right…and I mean, I’d have to be an idiot to forgive him and get back with him.” She sighed.

“Not necessarily. I mean, if you trust him and you work together to make sure you’re on the same page and that you expect the same things out of the relationship it could work. I mean, it’s all based on trust and if you trust that he won’t screw up again, then great! But if you don’t trust him there’s no sense in putting yourself through something like that. You’ll just be full of doubt and miserable and no one deserves to constantly be living on edge like that, you know?”

“Yeah…you’re right.” Dani exhaled in surrender and you frowned a bit.

“Dani, Caleb does love you though. And he is sorry for lying like this. He asked me to tell you that.” You explained.

“I know. But I mean this was maybe my first real adult relationship and like…to discover that I was just the side chick!?” She exclaimed and your frown deepened.

“I’m really sorry, Dani. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I know! It’s why I can’t…I can’t trust him or give him another chance without feeling like a fool for it.”

“Well, seems to me you know which direction you’re leaning towards.”

“I do. It’s just…kind of hard to hold my ground on it.” She explained.

“I mean, you can always change your mind down the line. And well, something tells me Cal will be waiting as long as you need even if it is just to tell him that it’s done for good.” You said to her.

“I just don’t want to waste his time-”

“Girl, he’s wasted both of our times! He’ll be fine.” You emphasized and she chuckled.

“Very true.” She shrugged.

“And look, the last thing you want to do is waste your own valuable time! I’ve been with Cal since I was 23. We got married when I was only 24 and he just told me that he got married to me because he was scared I would leave him if he didn’t commit big right away. All those years are time neither of us will get back and we weren’t even with the right person!” You said and she sighed and shook her head sadly, “I know you’re not asking for my opinion, but if I can just impose it for a second I’d say to just choose you. Heal from the heartbreak and when you’re feeling more level headed about it all revisit it. See if you still love him or if everything has worn off. But make sure that whatever step you take next is for your benefit alone.” You advised and she nodded.

After that part of the conversation you two just ate and talked a bit more about your next steps. She wanted to know how you were moving on from this as well, which in reality was just a taking it day by day approach. Just from your time with her, you gathered that Dani was smart and very sweet and you could see the similarities between your way of being and hers. She was still learning how to assert herself though. For lack of a better term, she was still a bit of a pushover and maybe Cal liked that. It helped him keep her by his side. Thankfully, you had learned better in grad school. You’d learned the hard way not to bend over backwards for everyone and you could still be kind and helpful, just not at your own expense. When Cal told you that you were just harder to deal with than Dani you thought maybe it was an issue with you, but it was all with him. Dani was easier to manipulate because she still considered Cal’s feelings even when it was tearing her apart. You hoped that something you said to her resonated and made her think twice about her choices with Cal in the future. He seemed to be intimidated by women who had owned their power and well, you just couldn’t see yourself being with anyone like that ever.

All along you thought that he was the one encouraging you and empowering you to do more out of love. Empowering you to tag on a second masters. Empowering you to go for jobs you qualified for. Empowering you to pursue your passion and start your own business. And you let him because you thought the he was just being supportive and wanting to see you grow and excel. But now that you looked at your life and your accomplishments, you saw how he felt that he had given all of that to you. But after you were done with school and found your confidence and worth you didn’t need his help as much. You were more than capable on your own and that made him feel less than. Like he wasn’t good enough for you because you didn’t need his help to succeed. Suddenly everything just felt so transactional between the two of you and that just put a bad taste in your mouth. But at least you were going to be free of it very soon.

**********

Thankfully you beat the rush hour traffic out of the city and were able to stop off at the grocery store to pick up the food you’d be having for brunch the following day along with something to make for dinner. You also got yourself a nice bottle of wine and decided that homemade pizza was the way to go for dinner. Your mood improved when you remembered that Harry would be joining you tomorrow as well and you tidied up around the house with a little more pep in your step. After the cleaning bits you were in for a well deserved shower, so you washed up, exfoliated and shaved, and were soon rushing down the stairs in a big t-shirt and some tiny shorts to make your pizza. Your stomach was growling intensely, begging you to eat as soon as possible.

You were playing some of your happy music, singing and dancing around as you prepped your pizza while the oven pre-heated. Everything was going according to plan until your doorbell rang and you pulled up your phone to check the camera to see who could be out there at nearly 8 at night.

“Oh my god…” you whispered to yourself in shock as you saw none other than Harry, standing at the door with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a tote bag over his shoulder. Your heart just about melted at the sight of him nervously biting his lip as he waited for an answer. What was he doing here? You took some calming breaths as you set your phone down and scurried out to the front door to let him in. You unlocked it and opened it up with an inevitably large smile that he was already mirroring upon seeing you on the other side of the door.

“Hi.” He greeted you with a slightly bashful grin.

“Hi! What’re you doing here?” You asked him through a nervous chuckle.

“I know it’s a bit late now, but I-uh was wondering if you still wanted to do dinner? With me?” He asked hopefully and you bit your lip to suppress your smile for a moment.

“Your timing couldn’t be more impeccable. I was actually just about to throw a pizza in the oven.” You said, pointing behind you with your thumb.

��Really?” He grinned and you nodded.

“Really, ummm come on in!” You chuckled and opened the door wider and he stepped forward. He immediately looked around the foyer before his eyes settled on you as you locked up. When you turned and saw him taking you in, you glanced down at your choice of pajamas bashfully. “Sorry, I’m a bit slob-by right now.” You explained.

“You’re not slob-by.” He assured with a small smile, “You look cute.” He shrugged and you laughed a bit, “M’serious. Like, yeah you usually look so put together, but this is nice too. You look cozy.” He assured and you chuckled.

“Thank you.” You accepted his compliment as he chuckled as well.

“Oh, got these for you.” He said as he extended the arrangement of flowers towards you and you took them.

“Thank you, they’re lovely.” You thanked him, “They’re not re-gifted are they?” You teased with a smirk and he chuckled.

“No, I swear they’re not!” He assured you, “I ummmm, didn’t end up going to the set up thing. I may have…sent her a $200 DoorDash gift card…” he said and you burst into laughter.

“No!” You gasped.

“You said, verbatim, do my worst!” He defended through a chuckle.

“I actually never said that. You said it yourself! I only told you to bomb it, but obviously, I was kidding.” You laughed as you shook your head, your eyes meeting his.

“No you weren’t.” He hummed knowingly as you bit your lip and shrugged.

“OK, I wasn’t…but that’s…I can’t believe you did that.” You chuckled as you shook your head again, “And here I was thinking you were incapable of being an asshole.” You teased.

“I also brought you some tiramisu.” He said as he raised the shoulder that had the tote bag hanging on it. “For like… old time’s sake.” He said.

“And I was right! So completely incapable of being an asshole.” You said and he chuckled, “Come on back to the kitchen.” You said and he followed you trough the house. “Can I get you anything to drink?” You asked as you set down the flowers and opened up the fridge, “I have…a very lovely red blend chilling in the fridge, I have…Coke Zero, water, or if you want a cocktail you can look through the bar.” You said as you turned around.

“Water is good for now.”

“Cold?”

“Please.” He said and you reached in for the pitcher of water and set it on the counter.

“Can I hand you this cake?”

“Yeah, of course!” You said as he pulled out the individual serving of it and you set it on a shelf in there.

“Can I help you with anything?” He asked you.

“Ummm, let me hand you a vase for the flowers.” You said as you scurried around to get one out. And soon you were handing it over as he got some water in it, while you served him a glass from the pitcher.

“Here’s your water.” You said setting it down beside him.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, of course!” You smiled, “Ummm, I only bought pineapple for my pizza.” You said.

“Oh! I mean, I already knew you had good taste, but that’s just perfect.” He hummed with a grin and you rolled your eyes playfully at just how over the top he was.

“Glad you like it, if you didn’t I would’ve had to ask you to leave.” You joked as you headed back over to where you had left you little can of drained pineapples unattended upon his arrival.

“That serious is it?”

“Oh yeah! Huge dealbreaker.” You responded smugly as he came up beside you.

“You know what my dealbreaker is?” He asked as he looked down at the pizza.

“What?” You questioned.

“When people are light-handed with the cheese.” He said to you, “Look at this!” He reprimanded playfully and you giggled.

“It’s not that I want to be stingy, I just have to be mindful of my tummy.” You defended. “Specially now that I have an unexpected guest!” Harry laughed at your excuse.

“Fine. But next time I’m gonna bring you those Lactaid pills so you can eat all the cheese you want.” He said and you smiled up at him.

“Wow, my hero. That’s so romantic of you.” You responded and he hummed.

“I know right.” He hummed smugly as you scattered the pineapple all over the pizza’s surface. “So how was lunch with Daniela?” He asked.

“Good. I think she just needed to talk about her plans. Cal had mentioned to me that I was abrasive, but I think he just likes that Dani is still quite…easy to talk into things. I mean, I was that way when we were first together because he’s older. I assumed he was wiser, knew better, knew more than I did, you know? So she still gives a lot of weight to how her calls will impact him and his feelings.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, so I just reminded her to ensure that whatever she does next, that she’s doing what’s best for herself. Like, I know Cal hopes she’ll take him back and maybe she wants to, but she’s doubtful, you know?”

“Yeah, understandably so.”

“Right. And I mean, I also explained to her that living like that, with doubt in your partner is just awful and draining. So to only get back with him if she knew for a fact that everything was different this time.”

“Do you think it would be different?” Harry asked.

“I think so…Cal is so in love with her and I’m sure he would put in far more effort than he ever did with me. But at the end of the day he still broke her trust and that’s always going to be hard to recover, you know?”

“Yeah. Well, I think it’s good you were able to hear her out, give her a bit of advice.” He hummed and moved out of your way and hurried to open the door of the oven so that you could slide the tray in.

“Alright we have about 20 minutes.” You said as you closed up the door and then reached for your phone to set a timer.

“Cool. I’ll help you clean up a bit.”

“Oh, thank you.” You smiled and then just asked him to wash the things you had used to spread the sauce and the few dishes in the sink while you packed up the things you had used for the pizza. “So are you driving back home tonight and then coming back in the morning?”

“No, I was gonna get a room somewhere close by.” He said and you hummed.

“Well you can stay here if you want?” You offered, “We have guest rooms and that way you won’t need to have another expense.”

“Only if you’re OK with it, Y/N.”

“Of course! I’ve stayed at your holiday home free of charge, let me at least do the same for you.” You smiled and he nodded.

“OK, thank you. I’ll go get my overnight bag from the car and ummm, possibly change into something more comfortable.”

“Yeah, sure!” You said and he hurried out to his car.

You text Cece quickly to let her know that Harry had come by tonight and she responded so fast you swear she broke a record. She asked you to be extra nice to him, which you knew what she meant by that, but to please let her know if she needed to just find an excuse to cancel on you for brunch. You rolled your eyes upon reading that, but soon Harry was coming back into the kitchen.

“Let me give you the room upstairs.” You said before guiding him up the steps. “Sorry, we’re renovating the bathroom in the room downstairs. It has a door to the backyard as well, so we use it for the pool.” You shared as you reached the top of the stairs and flicked on the lights before you continued guiding him down the hallway.

“That’s alright. I’ll be closer if you need me. Or if I need you! You know, for safety reasons.” He tagged on and you sniggered as you stopped before the closed door. “Don’t laugh at me. You make me nervous.” He confessed lowly when you opened up the door to the room. You turned to him with some confusion as you moved aside to let him in.

“Do I really?” You asked him and he nodded as he stepped in further, “Why?” You questioned through a small laugh as you flicked on the lights. You were now a bit concerned with what he would say next. Would he be just like Caleb? Intimidated by a fully realized woman? Afraid that your power meant less power for him?

“I just…don’t feel in control.” He explained with a slight furrow in his eyebrows as he set his bag down at the foot of the bed. “It’s not something that happens to me often so I don’t…know how to act sometimes.” He admitted with a nervous smile, “Like I just…word vomit or my thoughts get jumbled up, like they did just now, and it’s weird for me to feel this way.” He explained.

“Oh…” you said back quietly and then smiled. “Well, I must admit you make me nervous too.” You confessed as you stepped further into the room.

“See, I’d never know that.” He said with a small smile as you sat at the end of the bed as he proceeded to unzip his bag. “You always appear so poised and just collected.” He said as he removed his toiletries bag to get to his sleeping clothes.

“I assure you I am not.” You smiled nervously and then your smile faltered a bit. “That’s actually something that ummm…Caleb mentioned when he told me he wanted to get divorced. He said he used to love it and it’s one of the things he hates most about me now. I mean, he wasn't actually like, being a dick about it when he explained.” You said softly and Harry frowned as he looked up at you. “I guess he meant to say that he felt that I was emotionally impenetrable to some extent. Like I’m hiding behind the nonchalance?” You explained.

“Hey, look at me.” He said and you glanced up to him, “I don’t think you’re hiding. I think you’re just…maybe a little bit guarded.” He explained and you nodded, “And not in a way to elicit interest or speculation from others. S’just to ensure that you’re showing your vulnerability to the right people, to the people who you can trust. I don’t think I could ever hate that about you when it’s the thing that just…keeps me on my toes.” He smiled and you did as well, “I like it when you let me in and show me what exactly it is you’re thinking and feeling.” He explained.

“You’re right about it all. I mean, I used to be the biggest pushover, so now I just…ensure to be a bit more reserved to gauge who deserves more of me and who doesn’t. I don’t know, maybe to him it was some game, like I was playing hard to get or something? But it’s just that after being treated like a door mat for so long you start to toughen up, you know?”

“Yeah.” He hummed. “I don’t like that he gets to you like this.”

“Me either…I mean, usually he wouldn’t but like a part of me wants to feel some sense of responsibility for what happened so that there could be a logical explanation as to why he betrayed me this way. Like if there’s something, anything, I could fix or do better next time to prevent getting cheated on then I’ll be safe, you know? Then I could for certain say I did everything I could and the issue is with the other person. But when he says it’s just because he has a wandering eye then…I feel like an idiot because I basically walked into this situation, you know?” You explained to him.

“If he has a wandering eye he would’ve found any number of reasons to cheat, love. People like that always have an excuse and always find a way to shift blame. There is nothing you can or could’ve done better because it’s all in Cal’s hands. It always has been. His inability to have some respect for his wife and marriage and his lack of some basic self-control are his issues alone. S’got absolutely nothing to do with you, so get that out of your head. It’s absolute garbage.” He said with conviction and you bit your lip and nodded. Harry was right, these things were Cal’s issues alone and you were not interested in continuing to take any fault for him.

“You’re right. So right…” you hummed, “Well, I’ll leave you to get changed.” You said and he nodded as you closed the door behind yourself and headed back down stairs.

**********

The night had been fun so far. Your pizza was good and you both had a couple of cocktails as you watched bake off, shouting at the TV screen as if you were watching the Super Bowl.

“If Janusz get’s kicked off I will throw a fit.” Harry mumbled, before letting out a shaky breath.

“His ice cream is not going to set in time…” you said with fear and just moments later you were both groaning as he served up his technical dessert. It was a completely melted mess.

“Alright, he’s still got the show stopper to get back on his game.” Harry said and you hummed in agreement. Completely entranced as you watched the show stoppers until they were presenting it to the judges.

“Sandro’s got to take star baker.” You hummed.

“Yeah, he was basically smashing it the whole time.” He hummed in agreement. Moments later they announced Syabira as star baker. “What?! No!”

“No! Boo!” You both griped, “Her first custard was completely liquid!”

“And she failed the technical! It was absolute shit!” He added with gustó and you giggled a bit. “Sandro was robbed…” Harry shook his head. And then you watched as they let Kevin go with small frowns.

“I’m about to cry…God.” You muttered and he chuckled and pulled you into his side. You smiled as you rested your head against his shoulder and then you cuddled a bit closer.

“Go on and get comfy then.” Harry said softly and you smiled as you just had him lay down so that you could lay over his chest. The next episode came on and you both watched it quietly like this for a bit.

“Harry?” You spoke tentatively.

“Hmmm?”

“I really like you.” You said softly. His heart started pounding hard at your confession.

“I really like you too.” He said as his hand ran up and down your back soothingly. “Literally think about you every day.” He confessed. You pressed yourself up a bit and smiled at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!” He chuckled through his confirmation, “Wanted to talk to you a bit more but I figured you just needed some space to get everything sorted out.”

“Well thank you for considering that but ummm…you can talk to me whenever you want. Just throwing that out there.” You said with a grin and he chuckled.

“Noted.”

“Can I kiss you?” You asked and he smiled.

“Yes. Please.” He barely got the words out before you were connecting your lips to his.

You had no idea how, but just being around him made you feel like you were on fire. Your lips moved eagerly with his and you melted against him at the feeling of his big, warm hands siding down to your waist and pressing your body even closer against his. Your neck was growing a bit sore from your position so you decided to straddle his lap before connecting your lips to his again. The soft, wet smacks of your kisses made your tummy tingle. You reached one of your hands to his, guiding it down your backside. Harry was quick to take the hint and grabbed handfuls of your bottom before guiding you to rut against his lap. You could feel the bulge of his cock growing through the sweatpants he had on and you shifted on his lap, feeling his fingers dig into your bottom. It made you grin into the kiss and your eyes flickered open as you slightly pulled back. Harry opened his eyes and looked at you before glancing down to your lips, he started reaching to kiss you again, but you slightly pulled back with a teasing smirk and he smiled.

“Please.” He whispered.

“Please what?” You questioned innocently.

“Please kiss me.” He clarified and you lowered yourself back down only to skim your nose along his before kissing the corner of his mouth and he chuckled as he dug his fingers further into your bottom, “Please.” He requested again. It was making you excited, hearing him beg for you, “Please, baby.” He whispered.

The impatience in his eyes was feeding a part of you that had been starved for so long. Your eyes were swimming with a dark need and every part of you just wanted to blow his mind and have him so horny and needy for you that he kept begging and begging for more of you. You wanted him to keep thinking about you nonstop, you wanted to make him feel so fucking good. Take such good care of him like he always did to you. You grabbed the side of his face gently with your right hand and he leaned into your touch as his eyes fluttered closed.

“Look at me.” You whispered and his eyes slowly blinked open to meet yours. They were also dark with lust and glanced down to your mouth again. You ground yourself against his clothed erection and you smirked as his eyes fluttered closed as a deep groan rumbled through him. “Gonna take such good care of you, Harry. I’m gonna make you feel so good, just how you make me feel good.” You whispered. “Want you t’do whatever you want to me when you feel it, OK?” You requested softly and he nodded.

“Yeah, baby.” He assured, “We’ll feel it out together, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You smiled before kissing him again. You suddenly sucked on his bottom lip before sinking your teeth into it and tugging it back. Your eyes met his and they followed yours until you were kissing his chin and then up his jaw. Harry extended his neck and you smiled before kissing right under his jaw, gently sucking, latching your lips to his skin.

“Harder.” He muttered and you sighed and sucked harder. His hands squeezed your butt until you let go. You kissed the bruised little patch and then sunk lower. You kissed over his bobbing Adam’s apple and then the base of his throat.

“Take off your shirt.” You hummed seductively and then pulled back. He sat up quickly and haphazardly tore off his shirt before dropping it on the ground. Upon seeing his exposed body again you lunged at him. He sniggered softly as you immediately felt up his abs. He may or may not have flexed a bit harder so that your fingers could really feel the dips of his well defined, washboard abs. Then your hands roamed up his chest. So broad and firm, you could practically grab a handful of him. You sunk lower yet again to kiss over his pecs. You scratched down his left pec as your tongue swirled over his right nipple. You felt him twitch beneath you as you nipped at it gently before you sunk even lower. You kissed each one of his abs and around his belly button before kissing down the trail of hair leading to his cock. You stopped at the elastic of his sweatpants.

“Let’s get these off.” you said and he helped you tug them down along with his briefs. His thick, heavy cock sprung up quickly as soon as his briefs were down his thighs. You quickly got them down to his ankles and he sat up and kissed you as he toed them off. His hands held your face securely as he licked into your mouth. You moaned into his messy kiss and reached for his cock. He sighed in relief as you squeezed your palm around his tip. You felt his precum smearing against your skin and you rubbed it over him before making a fist around the head and stroking up and down slowly. “You’re so fucking big.” You mumbled into his mouth.

“I know, but you still take it all the way don’t you?” He responded and you nodded.

“Yeah. Love how you feel inside.” You panted.

“Mmm…suck my cock.” He ordered and you pecked his lips before sinking again and not wasting any time to get him into your mouth. He moaned the second your were sucking on his tip. You were messy with it, letting yourself salivate at the taste of his skin on your tongue. You got a little bit greedy and sunk down halfway. After a few seconds there you sunk down all the way and he groaned and dug his fingers into your hair as his tip met with the back of your mouth.

“Fuck…oh fuck…” he exhaled with eyes squeezed shut. You breathed through your nose as you tried to get him down your throat and gagged and he pulled you up quickly. “Breathe, baby. Breathe and try again.” He hummed, “Fuck, please try again. Need to get down your little throat.”

You swallowed thickly before sinking back down, taking your time to get him in deeper. Then you felt him start thrusting up slowly while his hands guided your head over him. He was locked on his pace, which helped you know when to expect the nudge of his tip to the entrance of your throat.

“Doing so well for me. Gonna go a bit deeper now. Breathe f’me. Then let it out nice and slow.” He said and you did so and when you started to exhale he started pushing your head down even lower. You hummed around him and he moaned at the vibrations around his cock. You were dripping saliva but neither of you seemed to care. He starting thrusting up a bit faster, just nudging down your throat, “Fuck, that’s a good girl…” He groaned deeply, “Take my fucking cock. Take my cock down your throat.” He grunted as he fucked your mouth until you just couldn’t hold off anymore and choked around his cock. He pulled you up and panted hard as he gripped your hair hard in his fist. You swallowed hard and caught your breath before resting your head on his thigh and smiling up at him. He smiled down at you too and then bit his lip as he watched you sink down and lave at his balls. You were gentle as you sucked one in between your lips. “Shit…fuck th-that’s fucking good.” He moaned, pushing your face closer to his groin. You moaned before popping off and sucking the other one just the same until his legs were wriggling beneath you. “Fuck you’re gonna make me come…” he moaned and you quickly popped off and he was panting. “Shit.” He chuckled breathily and you hummed and kissed his thigh.

“Can I ride your cock?” You asked and he nodded.

“Yes. Please baby, ride my cock.” He begged. You knelt up and slid your shirt off before standing from the couch to get your shorts off. Harry sat upright but slouched against the couch. He wrapped a fist around his cock as he watched you undressing. “So fucking pretty.” He hummed and you smiled as you approached him and then knelt over his lap.

“Ready?” You whispered and he nodded. He glanced down, holding his cock up at your entrance to let you lower yourself. You started to drop your hips, obsessing over the feeling of his cock sinking into your sopping pussy. You felt the pressure increasing against your entrance until it finally gave and he plunged deep into you. You both moaned in satisfaction as you relished in the feeling of his cock finally being inside of you. “Fuck you’re so deep.” You smiled against his lips and he hugged tight around your waist and pulled you down as he thrust up hard. You gasped as he reached new depths that made your thighs tremble because his tip was rubbing right into your spot. You were covered in goosebumps in seconds before an involuntary moan spilled out of your throat.

“Fuck…that’s it isn’t it, baby?” He hummed haughtily as he thrust up into it again.

“Yeah.” You whimpered, “Right there…please don’t stop!” You keened as your toes curled. You started to grind down against him going faster and faster until your were gasping and choking on a cry as your orgasm rolled through your body like a giant wave. You tingled and shivered and seemingly vibrated in ecstasy. You felt so secure as Harry hugged around you tight, continuing to move you over his cock, helping you ride out your orgasm. You started to ride him again, adding a little more bounce to your movement and he groaned and surged forward to latch his lips to your nipple. He sucked hard as you ground down against him.

“You’re so good.” He hummed before sucking it back in again. Your hands raked into his hair and he groaned as you tugged a bit roughly at the roots. “Fuck, you feel so good, baby.” He praised, “Can I take you to the bedroom?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, let’s get up there.” You grinned and without regard for your clothes rushed from the TV room to the bedroom he'd be in.

He followed you in, not really minding the door as he trailed behind you, hands on your hips. He turned you around when you got to the foot of the bed and he picked you up and tossed you up further onto the bed. You laughed as he clambered over you, kissing you as he parted your legs to fit himself between them. You bit your lip as he lined up to your entrance again and started to push inside. Your jaw dropped as you exhaled in relief at his girth stretching you and filling you up. Harry’s eyebrows were creased as he tried to keep it together and just held himself deep inside before drawing himself out. You whined at the lack of his intrusion and he grinned.

“Please, Harry. Please.” You whispered.

“Yeah, baby? Want my cock?” He teased and you nodded.

“Yeah, please. Need you back inside.” You keened and he prodded at your entrance, teasing you by just letting his tip push into you before he’d draw his hips back. You lifted yours up trying to chase after his cock, desperate to feel him back inside of your tight, hot walls. “Harry…” you whined, eyes locking on his and he chuckled at your desperation before just dipped back inside to the hilt. He rolled his hips into you and made your eyes roll back in pleasure. He immediately started to pick up his pace, the thwacking sound of his balls against your ass was making you feral. You were cursing and whimpering as his cock hit all of the right spots. You fit a hand between your bodies and rubbed at your clit in quick circles until your were struggling to breathe, body tensing up as your pleasure started to reach it’s peak.

“Fuck, you’re so close. I can feel it, you’re so fucking wet for me and squeezing so hard, baby.” Harry hummed with hunger as he maintained his thrusting pattern consistent. It was building you up, pushing you towards the edge with each one until you were trembling.

“Oh! I’m coming!” You cried out loudly as you rubbed your clit faster until you were withering around Harry’s cock. He moaned as he started thrusting harder and deeper into you. You winced with each merciless thrust to your poor, sensitive, dripping pussy.

“You OK? Want me to stop?” He asked and you quickly shook your head.

“Please no.” you whimpered and he chuckled lowly.

Should I keep going and flood your little pussy with my come?“ He panted.

“Yes please, I want it so bad.” You mewled and he groaned.

“Fuck…fuck, I’m right there…” he moaned before he choked out a groan and dropped his weight over you and he sunk as deep as possible, releasing his load deep inside of you. He was panting but found your mouth with his. Kissing you sloppily as he hummed in pleasure. He was tingling and you were loving the warmth and weight of his body over yours. “Fuck, I missed you.” He sighed in satisfaction and you smiled as you hugged around his back.

“I missed you too.” You hummed happily.

After lazing around for a bit Harry headed off to have a shower and you ended up telling Cece that you guys could just meet up for dinner and she was very supportive of that decision. You joined Harry in the shower and had another go in there before he ended up dragging you out and eating you out on the bed until you were seeing stars. Your chest even burned a bit from how shallow your breathing was.

“Fuck…oh my god…” you panted as Harry kissed his way up your body before reaching your lips and kissing you quickly, “Think we’ll need to sleep in my room, the bed’s all damp now.” You huffed.

“Do you mind?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Not at all.” You assured him.

After he got dressed you were both settling into your bed. He pulled you closer into his body, spooning you so that you were nice and snug against him.

“Thank you for coming over.” You hummed quietly and Harry smiled and hugged you just a bit tighter.

“There’s no where I’d rather be, baby.” He assured you. “The divorce is final in a few weeks right?”

“Mhmmm.” You confirmed.

“Can I take you out or is it too soon?” He asked quietly and you turned around.

“I’d love to go out with you.” You said, practically beaming from ear to ear.

“Oh great, I’ll plan something special for us soon. I’d say tomorrow, but tomorrow, we’re spending it in bed. Have to make up for lost time, so rest up.” He hummed before kissing you and you easily fell into it until he turned around and asked you to scratch his back and you talked quietly until you both dosed off.

The next few days were absolute bliss with Harry. You got a peek of his domestic side and were absolutely obsessed with how sweet and thoughtful he was. Of course the reunion with Cece was as exciting as you’d imagined. There were tons of laughs and inside jokes now and of course, the promise that Harry would be around a lot more. He had made breakfast for you Sunday morning and then drove you around to do your errands for some events you had coming up in the next few weeks. You spent some time in the hot tub, mostly making out until you just needed to have a shower and have another good shag before bed. Your body was sore and tired, but you hadn’t felt so good in so long. Good in every sense of the word. You felt at ease around him and the evidence was in how you passed out on his chest as he played with your hair tenderly.

“Hey, baby.” Harry mumbled against your temple as you stirred a bit.

“Hmm?” You groaned groggily.

“Sorry it’s so early, but I’ve gotta go to work.” He said and you frowned, your weekend together had flown by.

“Right…Monday.” You huffed with dread and he chuckled.

“Yeah, love.” He said before kissing your forehead, your cheeks, and then you puckered your lips against his softly. “I have a dinner meeting tonight, but I can come again on Tuesday? Can even get off early, help you set up for that event for your client?” He offered and you nodded immediately and he chuckled. “Alright, baby.”

“Drive safe.”

“I will. I’ll text you when I get to the office, OK?”

“OK.” You hummed, “I’ll walk you out?”

“S’alright.” He assured and you shook your head and sat up.

“I insist, baby.” You said and he smiled and gave you a second to stretch before you hurried down the stairs with him and out to the door.

“Miss you already!” He called out the window and you grinned and blew him a kiss before he drove off.

… SIX MONTHS LATER …

You and Harry had been seeing each other on the DL for four months now. He had asked you to be his girlfriend on new year’s eve and you’d been spending all of your free time together. Shortly after the divorce with Cal was finalized you guys were able to sell the house and you’d found somewhere else to live by then which was actually a bit close to Harry’s own place which was rather convenient as your relationship grew more and more serious. Personally, you were thriving and you were looking after yourself so much more than before. Harry was an incredible partner and you swore that everything you felt for him couldn’t fit inside of you in any way, it seemed to be overflowing and you were seriously considering telling him you loved him over your holiday in Italy.

Cal had been doing a bit better than before. Dani ended up asking to be transferred to the London branch of the company and had been there since January. Obviously, this completely devastated Caleb, but he seemed to also just focus on bettering himself. You didn’t really talk often after he told you Dani left, he wasn’t sure who to talk to it about, but you encouraged him to find a therapist to work on himself and he assured you he would try his best. He would reach out every now and again though, he was still feeling a bit lonely and you were itching to tell him that you and Harry were together. You hated feeling like you had to hide your happiness, but Harry had insisted on telling Cal himself before you went on your vacation. He said that at least this way you’d be gone long enough to give him time to get used to the idea without feeling like you guys were shoving your relationship in his face. You agree to let him do it in his own time, but also it would save you the difficult task of having to tell your ex-husband that you were in a relationship with his boss; you couldn’t see that conversation going well in any capacity.

Harry was also very happy with you. He loved to see you thriving and he was more than thrilled that he was playing such a pivotal role in your happiness. He feels that he had always been a pretty good partner, but with you it was just different. He lived for the times he made you smile. He was also very excited for your romantic Italian holiday, it was just three weeks away now. He had planned to stop in England for a few days on the way back so that you could meet his family, he just felt like he needed to make all of the right moves with you because he wanted you in his life forever if possible.

He was currently typing away at his computer furiously, just trying to get everything settled before he left. Just then a few knocks on his door sounded.

“Hey Harry, you wanted to talk to me?” Caleb asked as he came into his office and Harry glanced up at Cal.

“Hey mate, yeah. Have a seat.” Harry instructed and soon Cal was settling into one of the seats in front of Harry’s desk.

“What can I do for you?” Caleb asked cheerfully.

“I’m going to be out of the country on holiday for a month in a few short weeks and I just wanted to touch base with you about some of the things I’d like you to be in charge of while I’m gone.”

“Yeah sure.”

“So I’d like you to head all of the client meetings for that time period. You’ve been doing so well with that, I trust you the most to make things work and to cut the best deals. There’s a particular client that I really want to land, I’ll email you all that information and my personal files on the client. Please look over it when you get a minute today and we can discuss some strategy tomorrow.”

“Perfect.”

“Additionally, you and Daria will be overseeing all operations in my absence. That being said, you’ll receive a bonus for all the extra work you put in for that month. I know it might make you have to shift your schedule somewhat so please just take note of any extra hours and I’ll will ensure you get some OT for those hours as well.”

“Not necessary, Harry but thank you.” Caleb nodded in agreement, “So where are you heading off to?” Cal asked and Harry bit his lip for a second. He knew you didn’t mind him telling Cal about your relationship, in fact he had been the one to ask if he could break it to Cal because of their overlapping professional relationship and well, now was the moment to do it. He had even tried to do it a bit sooner but when he’d seen it was a rough day for Caleb he’d put it off. But this needed to happen now.

“Italy.” He shared and Cal’s eyebrows arched up in surprise.

“Oh, nice! Y/N is going to Italy soon too. Not too sure of the dates but-”

“That’s actually another reason for why I wanted to talk to you.” He said and Cal looked at him expectantly, “I’m…with her. Y/N, she’s my girlfriend and we’re going on holiday together.” He said, just getting it out there and Cal’s eyebrows arched up even further.

“Oh…” was all he said and Harry nodded, waiting for his next response expectantly but he didn’t say much, just kind of looked at his desk.

“I wanted to tell you because well, we still work together. I know that your marriage ended not too long ago, but I just want you to know that whatever has gone on outside of work is not any of my business so long as you keep doing excellent work here. And I have certainly treated you as a great employee and friend to some extent and ummm, I hope that you will do the same for me now that I’m with Y/N. I guess, I'm just saying I hope this doesn’t impact our professional relationship.” Harry explained.

“When did this happen?” Cal asked, seemingly ignoring what Harry had just said.

“Officially, I asked her to be my girlfriend on new year’s. I think we’re getting serious now though.” Harry said.

“Already, huh?” He asked with a sad smile and Harry nodded.

“Yeah, I’m ummm…in love with her and I want to see this through.” Harry admitted to him and Caleb cleared his throat and nodded.

“Right. Well, thanks for telling me. I don’t love her anymore, but it’s just…a weird situation, you know? It’s fine though, I’m glad you’re happy with her.”

“Of course. And well, Y/N wanted to tell you a bit sooner but I insisted I break the news to you since…we’re the ones who will continue to see each other day to day.”

“No, I get it. She’s…great and I mean, you’re lucky to have her in your life.” He said and Harry nodded.

“Thank you, I know.”

“What ummm…what brought you guys together?” He asked.

“I think the dinner at my place in September really sealed the deal. I mean, I thought she was beautiful and smart and just the way she helped Tamika and well, Dani…I just thought she was really great. Then ummm I went to check on her since I could tell she was…a bit sad about the way the night had gone for her and ummm…one thing led to another and…well…” he sighed and Cal looked surprised.

“Oh…”

“I’m really sorry.” Harry apologized because he had never meant to get in between you two. And though he had omitted your previous interactions, he felt that having sex with you while you were upset with Cal could make him think that Harry had something to do with you also being eager to get a divorce from him.

“Well, it’s not like I didn’t deserve it.” He said and Harry frowned a bit, “Just…treat her right, yeah?”

“I will.” Harry smiled and Cal returned the gesture.

“And she’s happy?” He asked Harry who nodded.

“Yeah, very happy. She’s doing great.” Harry confirmed.

“Good.” He hummed.

Obviously, things were just a bit weird for the rest of the day but Harry felt nothing but relief knowing that he’d been able to finally tell Caleb about his relationship with you. He loved you, it had happened so quickly for him, but just getting to say that to someone had made it all the more real. For the rest of the day he felt this pressure over his chest, an anxious need to tell you exactly how he felt for you. He didn’t want it to go unsaid for a minute more.

And when he got to your apartment that night and heard some Frank Sinatra playing through the door he immediately smiled. He loved that he could see you whenever he wanted now, though that did nothing to get him to stop thinking about you all day every day.

“Baby, is that you?” You called out as soon as you heard the front door close with a heavy thud.

“Yeah!” He called back as he set his things down and slipped out of his shoes, “It smells amazing!”

“It’s a chickpea masala soup!” You announced and soon you felt Harry wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Hi, baby.” He greeted as he kissed the side of your head.

“Hi!” You greeted him happily and then spun around to grab his face, “A kiss please.”

“Another?” He grinned and you nodded, “Of course. Anything for m’girl.” He hummed happily and pressed his lips to yours. After a few distracting and wonderful moments of your lips together you parted and you reared back to look in his eyes, “Told Cal about us today.” He shared.

“Oh? How’d he take it?” You asked right away.

“Fine. He was just surprised.” Harry explained and you nodded.

“Good. So I can come visit you at work now.” You grinned.

“Course. I’ll always make time for you.” He hummed happily and you kissed him again, “Ummm, as I was talking to him I ummm realized something. Well not realized, because I’ve known but realized that I needed to do something about it. And I just really need to tell you that I…that I love you.” He said and your eyes softened as they met his.

“Do you really?” You asked with a little smile.

“Yeah, baby. You’re everything I didn’t know I was missing. The moment you came into my life it was changed, for the better, of course. And I don’t want to let another minute pass me by without telling you that despite all the time and hurt that we’ve endured, we met when we were supposed to and I can’t imagine my life without you in it. My whole heart is all yours, always.” He said sweetly and you pouted in endearment with a thumping heart at his confession.

“I love you too. With every piece of my heart and I don’t even want to think about life without you, H. Thank you for loving me.” You said and he chuckled as he kissed your forehead.

“No, thank you for making me feel whole. I’m so lucky to have met you, I’ll never ever get tired of showing you what you mean to me, baby.” He assured with a happy smile as your eyes teared up.

“Oh, I love you so much.” You sighed as you hugged him tight and he hummed happily.

“I love you.” He whispered happily.

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