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vocaloid-song-showdown · 1 year

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the poll for how to arrange the brackets just finished with proceeding as originally planned winning!

so, without further ado, here are the lineups ^^

note :: songs with a * next to them may require a content warning. i'll provide specific warnings as soon as i have the time, but as of now please proceed with caution

main matchup bracket ::

alice of human sacrifice* by yugami p / fear garden* by chaa

magnet by minato p / romeo and cinderella by doriko

world is mine by ryo / world's end dancehall by wowaka

triple baka by lamaze p / the disappearance of hatsune miku by cosmo p

meltdown by iroha(sasaki) / luka luka★night fever by samfree

fire◎flower by halyosy / trick and treat by oster project

daughter of evil by mothy / dancing★samurai by kanimiso p

rolling girl by wowaka / matryoshka by hachi

madness of duke venomania* by mothy / alluring secret ~black vow~ by hitoshizuku x yama

senbonzakura by kurousa / outer science by jin

doubleganger by kulfiq / mikusabbath by utsu p

jinsei reset button by kemu / common world domination by pinnochio p

the fox's wedding* by masa works design / tokio funka by takamatt

heat haze days by jin / patchwork staccato by toa

six trillion years and an overnight story by kemu / lost one's weeping by neru

aishite aishite aishite by kikuo / echo by crusher p

setsuna drive by taki yoshimitsu / yoake to hotatu by n buna

a fake fake psychotropic by kairiki bear / therefore you and me by tadanoco

my r* by kurage p / i'm glad youre evil too by pinnochio p

chururira chururira dadada by kurage p / mkdr by deco*27

blessed messiah and the tower of ai by hitoshizuku x yama / 86 by dasu

law evading rock by neru / nakakapagpabagabag by dasu

sand planet by hachi / ghost rule by deco*27

monster by kira / hated by life itself by iori kanzaki

cause i'm a liar by mcki robyns p / honey i'm home by ghost

hole dwelling by kikuo / bring it on by giga

meteor by divela / seraphim on the ring by mitchie m

the court jester by thquib / casino by azari

king by kanaria / villain by teniwoha

lower by lanndo / phony by tsumiki

higanbana milk tea by vane / scapegoat by ghost

queen by kanaria / bug by kairiki bear

honorable mention bracket ::

electric angel by yasuo p (original), giga (giga arrange) / freely tomorrow by mitchie m

po pi po by lamaze p / go google it by wintermint p

black★rock shooter by ryo / bacterial contamination by kanimiso p

i like you, i love you by gevanni p / first love academy • school of true love by nem

(also a quick general note ! i don't have everything ready for a formal polished reveal at the time of posting this. i plan on updating this post with links to the songs and also a visual bracket when i have the time. they'll definitely be up soon, so make sure to check back in a bit for them ^^

i'll also make sure that reblogs are turned on for the final version!)

#vocaloid song showdown #sorry it's just a list for now i promise i'll update it and make it look nicer as soon as i get the chance :'D #i'll also add the playlists to the final post so those will finally be out soon too !#but for now it's just a quick little post to get the matchups out sooner rather than later since this is already kinda behind schedule :')#anyway it's still kinda bonkers to me that only one person nominated po pi po and electric angel #those songs used to be Everywhere it felt like #and unless i continually missed it no one sent in llevan polka :(#(to be fair itnisn't originally a vocaloid song. idk if i could fully qualify it bc of that but still shocked that it got no nominations)#oh also ! until i have the image finalized if anyone thinks any matchups should be tweaked at all feel free to lmk !#i was mostly judging popularity based on nominations and view count (reprints included) but it was hard to tell for some ???#like i remember a whole bunch of reprint channels getting deleted or privating all their videos and i'm sure that impacted some view counts #and rolling girl in particular has a lot less views than i thought it would ???#it's not a small amount by any means but it also seems to be on the higher side of the average for the final bracket songs #it was also unsurprisingly the most nominated song #so some of the matchups were a bit weird and wonky to put together fhdkfh #(especially echo actually too ? it got 2 nominations and barely made it but has the highest view count out of all the songs last i checked)#anyway all that to say if anyone wants to give feedback on the bracket pairings i'm open to it until i get the formal version up ( ^^)b #additionally if i missed any songs that should have some sort of warning please let me know fhdkdh #i added them only off the top of my head so i might've missed one #(the final version of this will have more specific warnings too. potential flash warnings as well)#EDIT :: changed up within 24 hours to up soon #i wish i could've had everything together within 24 hours but things came up and i need just a little more time :(#but i wanna get started on voting monday (february 27) for real this time ! no more putting it off :'D

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fandom-oatmeal · 2 years

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I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by shipping goggles.

#has this been done?#it must have been done #if it has lmk and i'll delete it #anyway #aromantic #asexual #amatonormativity #mine #am i feeling brave enough to tag some fandoms?#yes i'm feeling reckless #atla #honestly that's the main one #uhhhh #pick a fandom any fandom #it'll work for any of them #feel free to tag a fandom. i'm too scared #the recklessness has passed 😞#this feels like an old format. oh well.

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ikeuverse · 1 month

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SLOW DOWN — s.jaeyun

CHAPTERS: prologue | chapter one | chapter two [...]

PAIRING: illegal!jake x fem!reader GENRES: angst, smut, fluff WC: 2.8k+

WARNINGS: swearing, weapons, knives, blood, illegal things in general (drugs, racing, alcohol). smut will be added in the next chapters, physical and verbal fights.

NOTES: i was listening to the song by chase atlantic, which is the title of this fic, and this scenario with jake just popped into my head. i wrote this part as a taste of what's probably to come. i hope to continue writing it, but first, i want to know what you, my readers, think of it since it's something i like to write about (mafia and all) and with jake being my utt i honestly felt my mind expand. tell me if i should continue or just delete it, please. i hope you like it!

TAGLIST: i've never done this, but lmk if you want to be tagged — mentions in the first chapter (already in the link above)

masterlist

a synopsis (too long to be a synopsis) below the cut. read it and tell me what you think, please. or just an idea, idk if i'll go through with it

The smooth taste of the cherry liqueur you were drinking was enough to relax your whole body. Smiling slightly at your best friend Chloe, chatting about trivial things in life. She was the one person in your cycle who made everything seem a little more normal.

Chloe was responsible for making you forget that you were part of a mafia family and that everything around you was linked to guns, blood, illegal things, and dirty money. She disconnected you from that world where you were there out of obligation.

"We need to go out sometime" Chloe finished off the liquor in her glass, lifting her body to pick up the bottle and refill it "How about the new nightclub that opened in the next town?"

You thanked your friend when she also wanted to refill her glass, letting the liquor run halfway down and then drinking a little more.

"I guess we could do that" you replied, thinking of ways to try to convince your father not to send a bouncer for you and her. It was unnecessary, but it was also a wasted conversation knowing that he would only let the two of you go out on that condition.

Luckily, your best friend had already gotten used to it, not least because living with you since elementary school had brought her all this knowledge little by little. You were immensely grateful that she didn't abandon you once she knew the whole truth, which is why Chloe has remained your best friend to this day.

"Then we can go to a convenience store and get some ice cream to try while we're still drunk."

The genuine laughter you two shared was the fuel you needed whenever something was heavy in the house. You had to call Chloe if only to stay in your room, in the office assigned to you, or anywhere in the house after hearing men walking around, your father fighting with someone or running around which – unfortunately – you witnessed every time.

It was exhausting. You also knew that there was no point in trying to run away or asking your father to disown you. He wouldn't be able to do you any harm, but he would probably keep you isolated, trapped in some lake house he had as a hiding place, and get you out when you thought better of it. If you could think about living a normal life or continuing your family's mafia.

"Knock, knock" the sound of the door knocking combined with the voice that imitated it brought you out of your thoughts and straight to where you needed to be.

Heeseung's smile was infectious, you always smiled when you saw your best friend. But not when he walked in with his head down wherever you were, his clothes covered in blood and his hands behind his back.

"What the fuck happened now?" you sighed loudly enough, dropping your glass of liquor on the coffee table between you and Chloe.

"Hi to you too, y/n" he finally raised his head, smiling at you again after looking away to his best friend "Hi, babe."

"Heeseung" Chloe raised her glass as a silent toast, ignoring the fact that the nickname she knew was only meant to annoy her. You'd make fun of the two of them if it weren't for your best friend's current situation.

"Where does all this blood come from?" you stood up from your chair "What the fuck have you all done now?"

Hesseung wiped the remnants of blood from his hands on his T-shirt, sighing in the process as he thought about what to say to you.

He was nervous. Lee Heeseung was visibly nervous and you knew that was almost impossible to happen. Come on, the guy in front of you who you called your best friend was one of your father's best illegal racing drivers, he'd been through so much shit on the track, how could talking to you be so bad? That only happened when...

"We need your help" he said at last, biting his lower lip to stop himself from shaking in the process. The boy's eyes searched for yours and, as soon as they were found, he let out "Jake's hurt..."

You froze at that moment, completely shutting out Heeseung's voice as he passed on the information. Chloe noticed, so she listened carefully in case you asked her later what had happened.

Jake's name together with the hurt, adding the blood that was on Heeseung... It all came together in one way and made you follow him wherever your best friend was going.

It was these moments that pulled you back into the life you had, reminding you that your family was part of the mafia and that you, consequently, were part of it too. The most obvious condition your father found to keep you in the business was that you did something that could link you to the surname for the rest of your life. Not as a bastard, because he wouldn't let you walk away easily.

So the only way was to get a degree in nursing, study medicine, and anything else that involved taking care of the wounds of the men who worked for your father. If you were constantly injured, shot, stabbed, or anything too suspicious, the hospital would surely call the police, and a big interrogation would begin. Your father wanted to avoid all this, so getting you involved at least on the good side made you feel less bad about it.

"Finally" Sunoo almost shouted with happiness as you turned the corner of the corridor behind Heeseung, along with Chloe by your side who kept an eye out in case you fainted from being so nervous.

They all looked the same as Heeseung, which made you wonder if Jake had lost a lot of blood or if it had gotten really bad.

"What happened?" you asked again.

"We went to accompany some of your father's men" Jay was the only one sitting down, his elbows resting on his knees. Taking his head between his hands, which were the same as Heeseung's, he looked at you "They set up an ambush, we had to defend ourselves."

You hung up again while Jay continued talking, relaying events to Chloe, who seemed almost like your private secretary.

Your eyes searched for Heeseung and he just nodded at you, then nodded towards the door opposite where Jay was sitting. That's where Jake was. And that's where your father kept a private infirmary, which you affectionately called his workroom.

Opening the door, two of your father's men were standing next to the gurney where Jake's body lay. You didn't look too far in his direction and just approached the sink to tie up your hair and sanitize your hands. Without realizing how much you were shaking at the thought of the worst, especially with Jake.

Why did you feel that way just hearing his name?

Get over it. Forget it.

The voice screamed in your mind as you turned to walk to the stretcher and join the men.

"Jake, dude" Heeseung called "She's here."

A brief moment of silence before Jake's eyes opened, looking at each of the men until they stopped on you. A faint smile on his dry, opaque lips, his eyes squinted.

"My private doctor" he forced a laugh, groaning in pain and placing his hand on his abdomen.

That's when you realized, the blood was coming from there. A cut that tore through Jake's T-shirt, piercing the skin. You couldn't tell how serious the problem was because it all looked like a big mess.

"Let's leave you two alone" Heeseung rested one hand on the side of Jake's head "Don't scare us anymore, your motherfucker" he slapped his friend on the back, turning to you "We'll be at the end of the corridor if you need anything."

You couldn't answer, only nod as Heeseung took the other two with him, leaving you and Jake alone in your room.

"I..." you sighed, closing your eyes and pushing away any thoughts as you went back to looking at the wound in front of you "I need you to take off your shirt, I have to clean it."

Without looking Jake in the eye, you grabbed his hands to help him sit up enough to take off his shirt. Turning to get the products you needed to use and clean it, would give Jake time to remove the shirt that was getting in the way of the whole process.

He, for his part, felt every discomfort and pain coursing through his body as he moved his arm to take off the shirt that had already been lost the moment they tore the material with that knife. That damn knife that had left him like that.

Throwing the shirt anywhere on the floor, Jake sat waiting for you to turn towards him and, as soon as you did, he could see your shocked expression.

"What?" he looked at his own body, then looked in your direction "It's nothing you haven't already seen, touched, kissed..."

"Shut up, Jaeyun!" you wanted to convince yourself that all the burning in your face was from anger at the words you were hearing, and not because you felt embarrassed about it. Why did he have to talk such nonsense?

You didn't have to ask him to lie down, Jake got the message as soon as you got near the stretcher with the absorbent cotton and saline solution. He inhaled a good amount of air and held his breath while you cleaned his wound. It didn't sting like the other times, but he could feel his skin burning with the touch of your fingers on it.

Jake could have sworn he'd burn up if you continued with all that delicacy on him.

"It wasn't deep" your voice caused him to let out a breath, groaning in pain as a little pressure was applied to a spot on the wound "I'd venture to say you moved away quickly enough before plunged the knife into your abdomen."

"You know I'm fast, don't you?" Jake was a fucking idiot with his double entendres, you knew it was pure provocation "Why did I bleed so much?"

Thank God he changed the subject, or you'd have opened that cut yourself.

"Because it cut through the epidermis, it just missed the dermis. That would have been a bit worse and I don't think I'd have brought you here."

"I'm glad they did" for the first time since Jake and you were alone in that room, you could hear the sincerity in his voice. Something that rarely happened.

Your eyes went up from the cut to Jake's face, seeing that he was already staring at you. Without saying much, you concentrated on making the dressing as comfortable as possible so that he could feel more comfortable as he left the room.

As you wrapped the bandages around his torso, his voice echoed in your mind like a relentless demon. It wasn't anything you hadn't seen, touched, kissed... Enjoyed every time he found himself in your room. In your bed.

The thought of a time when you and Jake were together was the last thing you wanted to think about. It had been a long time and that couldn't be part of your thoughts, even if it was sabotage because every day, all the time you looked at him, your mind wandered to the exact moment you two kissed for the first time.

Or how he held you for the first time and every touch on your skin made you boil.

"Thinking of me?" his voice was so vivid that you had forgotten you were still in his presence, with your hands resting on Jake's chest and the bandage already finished.

Sniffling, you straightened up and turned away from him, gathering up the remnants of the things you'd used so you could throw them in the garbage can.

He said nothing, getting up from the stretcher with some difficulty while still looking at you.

It was a lose-lose situation to do that, but Jake simply couldn't let the opportunity he was having slip away. So he walked towards you slowly, as best he could because he could still feel the wound pulling at his abdomen. He got close enough as soon as you turned to face him, a thin scream bursting from your lips from the fright, but soon calming down when you found his eyes resting fixedly on yours.

"Y/n" he whispered.

"Jaeyun, don't..."

"Listen to me, please" the request sounded more like a plea, and you lost count of how many times Jake did it, but he could never finish because you always ran away.

And you wanted to run away again.

"What do you want?" you asked, almost regretting it when he answered, unashamedly.

"You back to me."

He had to be a talker. Jake needed to have that idiotic power over you with anything he said. It was extremely unfair that someone had been born and put into your life just to leave you speechless and steal your heart.

Your sigh was a silent answer that he could come a little closer, and with slow steps, Jake did. Just enough so that he could lean his body against yours only as far as his bruise didn't make contact.

Jake's hand quickly reached for your cheek, forming a shell between it and your face to hold close enough to his.

"Please, I need you back" Jake leaned his forehead against yours, his warm breath beating against your cheek.

Your hands were trembling as one of them touched his arm, while the other went carefully to the opposite side where Jake was hurt. The touches kept his balance and kept him close too.

"Then answer me" your voice was at the same pitch as his, avoiding any louder sounds that might scatter the two of you.

Jake knew what you meant, he was fully aware of it. He'd been asked that question so many times, that's why he knew he wasn't in your life as your boyfriend.

"Y/n, you know I can't..." he began.

"Me or these dangerously idiotic missions of my father's?"

Jake closed his eyes, pressing his forehead a little closer to yours.

"Y/n..."

"You can choose to race with Heeseung, stay in tech with Niki" your voice began to choke and Jake felt that it was hurting more than the cut on his abdomen. He knew it was all his fault.

"But it gives me a lot more money, and..." he sighed, looking straight into your eyes "You know what I'm putting any money towards. Please..."

"Is it money? For God's sake, Jaeyun, I can help you..."

"No!" Jake said sternly, but not rude enough to scare you. He'd never managed to be rude to you since he first met you "I can't accept it. That's my problem and—"

"I thought your problems were mine too."

That phrase was strangely familiar. Jake knew he'd heard it somewhere before, he just couldn't think where when you turned away from him at the same second as the knocks on the living room door were heard. Making you both step back.

"Mr. Jaeyun? Miss y/n?" one of your father's security guards had his head between the doors, looking in your direction. You waved so that he could enter "The rest of the guys are waiting for news, if you could…"

"Of course" you smiled at him, thanking him not only for the information but for the interruption because you knew that another argument was probably on the way "Come on, we need to go."

"Y/n, I—"

"The guys need an update from you" without going any further, you turned away from Jake and waited for him to get ready to leave the room.

You knew it was bad to do this anyway, but there was no escaping it. Being tied up with your family's affairs meant moments like this, but they weren't all bad. Taking care of the people who worked for your family was just a way of saying thank you for them – unfortunately – risking their lives.

But when it came to Sim Jaeyun, you knew that everything was intense. Even more so as the whole story of the two of you played through your mind like a movie on repeat.

All the times you and he had been together, all the moments the two of you had shared until the final fight.

Which Jake was trying, at all costs, to reverse. Because it was as he had told you a few minutes ago, he wanted you back. You just didn't know what Jake was capable of.

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vanaglori-ah · 5 months

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ao3 is run by zionists.

if you haven't heard, best check out this thread (the user also has a tumblr explaining everything too). it also went under my radar that apparently, the people at ao3 are sinophobic. so fuck them, honestly.

i've never donated to ao3. don't donate to ao3, one.

two, i will no longer be adding any fics on ao3. all of the ones up will stay (unless i should delete them. lmk asap). this also means i'll probably discontinue whatever series i was working on in them. it's honestly about time i abandon those projects because life has gotten a lot more serious.

three, i may move my fics to somewhere else. i will update to let you guys know.

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

#free palestine #decolonization #fanfiction #ao3 #x reader #male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader

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scarvain · 2 months

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✶ STARGIRL — hamzahthefantastic x reader

003 ✶ In Too Deep

stargirl masterfile – next – previous

SUMMARY: hamzah has a crush on a youtuber who's always out and about and slushies see their relationship progress on social media! (smau)

DISCLAIMER: reader is a brown haired girl and for some pics that aren't faceless, i'll be using olivia rodrigo cause i love her and she’s filipino like me hehehe

A/N: i added twitter in this au and if u guys have app recommendations for the fake texting stuff pls let me know!!

liked by slushyfan, aisharae, and others

ynln late night froyo (ps get urself a guy who would download ur fav album for u and put it in a cd)

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user627 i thought of the sinjin song HELP

user109 is that hamzah...

user234 THE SOFT LAUNCH?!!?!

wes10 steven colbert

↳ ynln late night frozen yogurt

user935 that is literally hamzah omfg 😭😭😭

hamzahthefantastic Re eh eh ed

liked by scarvain, iloveyn, and others

ynlnupdates Y/N with Hamzah and Fans today!!! ❤️

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user378 HOLY SHITTTT

user102 MY PEOPLE WTF

user446 does this make it official

user529 they look so gooddd

user817 OH MY GOD THATS ME!!!!

↳ user623 HOW WERE THEY

↳ user817 SOOOO NICE!!! and hamzah had his arm around her shoulders after we left 🥹

ynln posted on their story !

INSTAGRAM STORY WAS DELETED.

scarlet @iloveyn

DID U GUYS SEE YN'S STORY OH NY GOOODDDD

50 replies 35 retweets 103 likes

user555 I DID WHAT THE HELL

user018 she has to be talking about hamzah right

↳ user126 what did she post i didnt see :((

↳ iloveyn HERE she deleted this 3 minutes after thank god i had notifs on

↳ user126 OH MY GOD...

user927 did she think she was posting it on her burner LMAOOOOO

✶ taglist — @cdbabymp3 @noturbabe22 @dabuggh3 @kingvioleta @tumb1rgir1z LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD!!!

#hamzahthefantastic #hamzahthefantastic x reader #hamzah x reader #hamzah fanfic #savi's works ✶#savi’s stargirl ✶

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wangxianficfinder · 7 months

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Fic Finder

~*~

1. 1. Hii, if it isn't too much hassle and if you're still taking asks, i have a question about a fic i think has been deleted? I'm not sure.

A) It goes like this : Nie Huisang goes back in time, and he gets his brother to bring a young, severely malnourished Wei Ying and is trying to keep him from being sent to Yunmeng ( he kept intercepting his brother's letters to Yunmeng to let them know about Wei Ying). And he has this idea that if he gets Wei ying to believe he is an ugly child (malnourished ++) and that everybody will love him for him and not his skills.

I had it in my bookmarks but i think it was recently deleted? If you have any idea please lmk 🙏 i've lost too many fics this way.

B) There is another fic that's been deleted? a while ago. Wei ying had to wear a mask and was told to never reveal his face. He was married to Lan zhan in an arranged marriage but then Lan Zhan was supposedly forced to marry Wen Qing? Wei ying ended up adopting A-yuan and his twin brother.

Idk if i remember correctly (if it's the same fic) but the last chapter i read Wei Ying had to be forced through a sort of cleansing from demonic cultivation and he basically almost died bleeding ( he told lan zhan he was the one he trusted to do it). I think in the chapter count only one or two chapters were left till the end of the fic.

Pheeew that was A. LOT. I am soooo sorry for the bother, but if you could give me a clue however small i'll finally stop thinking about them. THANK YOUUUUUU 🙏 @yeesh97

1A)

FOUND?! You'll See Me Again by Anonymous (M, 12k, WIP, WangXian, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, Adopted WWX, WWX is a Niè, Protective NHS, NHS time travels, NHS Is A Little Shit, NMJ Lives, Protective NMJ, Time Travel Fix-It, WWX is a Little Shit, Oblivious WWX)

NOT FOUND! Mulberry seeds by OurLadyoftheRain (G, wangxian, NHS & WWX, NMJ & WWX, Canon Divergence, nie WWX, WWX grows up in the nie sect, POV NMJ, Narration Heavy, Time Travel, from an outsider pov, Time Skips, every day all day is 'love wwx time', WWX & LWJ become friends early, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, POV WWX, POV Alternating)

1B)

FOUND! I think 1B is “A Price To Pay” by wangxianist. It had been at chapter 11/14 last time I checked in. The link was https://archiveofourown.org/works/34649677 and should be available on the Wayback Machine.

NOT FOUND! 🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort) I think 1b might be describing 2 fics and the second part might be

~*~

2. Hi! I have been searching for a fic I read a while ago, but I only remember small details about it. Wondering if this sounds familiar to anyone: its wangxian time travel fic, Madam Yu is heavily implied to have had a past romantic relationship (or unrequited crush) on CSSR and JFM is implied to have been in a past relationship with WCZ. At one point, WWX & LWJ make a trip to Meishan Yu to meet an elder that helps forge a new spiritual weapon for WWX that will listen only to WWX & LWJ (during this process I think LWJ has to give up/break part of his guqin for some reason?) They fight the war, and then have to deal with WWX's reputation tanking post-war again - which is solved by a suggestion from JGY (something along the lines of "let the public see you as a dad (of a-yuan) and a husband instead of a demonic cultivating war hero"). @kilegriel

FOUND? And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together)

~*~

3. Firstly I have to say that I love this blog! It's keeping my To Be Read pile very well stocked! 😁

Secondly, there is a fic I found on AO3 around a year ago and no matter what tags I try I just can't find it!

What I remember is that it is modern with cultivation, married WangXian, and that it's the beginning of an apocalypse where loads of people have been turned into puppets. It was supposed to be blamed on WWX but, coincidentally, he falls ill just before the start and couldn't possibly have done it.

Iirc the apocalypse lasts for about a week and turns out to have been caused by something contaminating the water supply with JGS and/or JGY behind it.

It might start with something like "On the first day of the end of the world…"

Does this ring any bells? Thank you in advance! @greywake

NOT FOUND! when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern AU, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations)

FOUND! When the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation takes a week off by galaxy_in_your_eyes (T, 20k, WangXian, Modern With Cultivation, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, only those that deserve it, kind of fix-it, Zombie Apocalypse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, POV Alternating, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Brief Mentions of Cannibalism, I mean, Zombies, spoiler, We don't see the Zombie Apocalypse, It happens behind closed doors, WWX in quarantine, Wangxian being Wangxian, Mentions of Smut, Established Relationship)

~*~

4. hi! do you guys know the fic where cultivators can exchange hearts? iirc lwj had taken out his heart after the events at nightless city and switched it with wwx's without wwx's knowledge @betafibiiiiiivviiixiiixxixxxiv

~*~

5. Hi, could you guys help me find a fic :)? If I remember correctly, there was one part where Lwj gave a part of his golden core to Wwx and as a result there was a limit to how far they could be separated from one another.

FOUND? when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool (T, 26k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Sharing a Bed, Sharing Clothes, Fix-It, the inherent eroticism of under robes, Golden Core Transfer )

FOUND? Of all the hands by typefortydeductions (E, 51k, Wangxian, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Emperor Lan Xichen, PTSD, Nightmares, Dual Cultivation, Mental Health Issues, Fluff and Angst, Dom/sub Undertones, Consensual Non-Con, Bonding, Mutual Pining, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Politics, Improper Use of the Lan Forehead Ribbon, the get wei ying some sleep agenda, yunmeng trio reconciliation) Has wangxian golden core sharing and the line "there is no separating their deaths now"

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6. Hello! As always, thank y’all so much for everything you do. I was hoping for some help finding a fic. It was a modern AU and Wei Wuxian was having some Gender Feelings, I think is the best way to describe them, and was sort of…jealous? of their very nice cishet neighbor. I think they live in a suburb and WWX gets kind of restless when he notices their neighbor is pregnant and he kinda maybe wants to play around with something like that, and anyway he tells LWJ this and they end up acting out a scene by having ‘normie straight people’ sex (i.e. LWJ basically does what he wants without worrying what WWX might want). There’s also a sex scene in the kitchen involving an apron against the counter by the sink, I believe, but that’s pretty much everything I can remember. Does it sound familiar to anyone? Thanks again!

FOUND! in picture frames; in dirty dreams by el_em_en_oh_pee (E, 17k, WangXian, Semi-Public Sex, Light BDSM, Vanilla Kink, Domestic Kink, Curtain Fic, Kink Negotiation, intersects SLIGHTLY with pregnancy kink and (consensual) feminization, Kitchen Sex, Missionary Position, Slice of Life, Fluff and Smut, a soupçon of gender, Aprons)

~*~

7. Hye there i was wondering if you could help me find a fic where wei ying and the juniors were out on a night hunt and they stayed at an inn. Jin ling said something that hurt wei ying’s feelings, so he went to his room first. When he left, sizhui trapped him against the wall and revealed that the reason they have all the thousands of rules was because it was to make sure that their true strength wouldn’t be seen? He said something about how their eyes turn golden if they use their strength or power? And thats why lan zhans eyes are golden. thanks so much @nanasoo

FOUND! A Righteous Facade by RenaFair (T, 4k, WangXian, JL learns a lesson, protective Lans, mildly dark)

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8. Hi😊. Please I'm looking for a Wangxian fanfic where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are in an arranged marriage and WY was being maltreated in the CR. LXC was the only one who was nice to him at first and LZ insinuated WY was cheating on him with LXC. I remember WY telling him he'll never let LZ touch him or something. I think it was ABO settings

FOUND? To Bring You Back Within My Reach by ablaiseofglory (M, 20k, WIP, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, No dubious consent, Adopted Children, Kid Fic, A/B/O Dynamics, omega wwx, Alpha LWJ, Misunderstandings)

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9. hello! i am looking for fics and i am hoping that you or your followers have idea on what their titles are

A) fic where WWX got into an accident and it was really bad there was a scene where LWJ is talking about learning to love WWX and he doesn't want to unlearn

B) fic where WWX continued to be MXY and he became a disciple at the lan sect

thank you! ☺️

9A)

re:9a, can the requestor say if it's a modern au, secret relationship? I'll look for what I think it is in the meantime

FOUND? Almost Lover by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 37k, WangXian, Angst, But with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, a bad thing happens to wwx, lwj gets very sad, Hospital Scenes, Dubious Medical Science, please look away if that's important, pining for the person you're fucking, Friends With Benefits, Traumatic Injury, Modern AU, mention of past WWX/WQ)

9B)

FOUND? Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX)

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10. Hi there! I’ve got this fic in my head that I can’t seem to find. I think it was part of a series where Wei Ying is adopted by different clans. One of them was a fic where an eccentric cousin of the Lan qiren had been friends with cangse sanren and ‘won her first born in a bet’ and when she died he went out and found him using a compass? I think it had stuff about Wei Ying growing up loving inventing and explosions happening a lot @preciouscommoditybears

FOUND? A Quiet Life of Leisure by nirejseki (G, 7k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WWX raised in another sect, WWX among the Lan, Alchemy, Explosions, this feels extremely self-indulgent since it's mostly about an OC, but it was what someone asked for, different Jiang sect dynamics)

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11. Can someone help me find these wangxian fics ?

A) Wei ying and the juniors were out on a night hunt and they stayed at an inn. Jin ling said something that hurt wei ying’s feelings, so he went to his room first. When he left, sizhui trapped him against the wall and revealed that the reason they have all the thousands of rules was because it was to make sure that their true strength wouldn’t be seen? He said something about how their eyes turn golden if they use their strength or power? And thats why lan zhans eyes are golden.

B) Its omegaverse and sizhui is jealous when wangxian have their biological baby bc they dont have time for him. He feeds his baby sister and makes her a meal but suddenly she dies. It turns out he replaced the berries with poisonous ones bc he wanted wangxian’s attention for himself as their only child.

C) Wei ying is trapped in CR, specifically in the jingshi. He and sizhui manage to escape from lan zhan, but it turns out sizhui told lan zhan before hand and he drugged him. Lan zhan had been drugging wei ying to make sure that he remains in the jingshi with him and sizhui wanted their family together forever.

D) Jiang cheng, huasang and wuxian go kn a camping/hiking trip? Anyways they take turns driving and the whole time jiang cheng is judging everyones ability to drive, including his. Huasang ran away from dage bc he didnt want to work out or something and jiang cheng has a crush on him (can’t remember) @minivminie

11A)

FOUND? A Righteous Facade by RenaFair (T, 4k, WangXian, JL learns a lesson, protective Lans, mildly dark)

11B)

FOUND? Sizhui's Smiles by RenaFair (T, 11k, WangXian, Possessive Behavior, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Alpha LSZ, Mpreg, Minor Child Character Death, Read the summary between the lines)

11C)

FOUND? Good Days by darkbrokenreaper (T, 9k, WangXian, Domestic Fluff, dark!LWJ, Manipulative Relationship, Dubious Consent, Drug Use)

11D)

riding shotgun by beesinspades (T, 6k, NHS/JC, wangxian, modern, Road Trip, Comedy, Fluff and Humor, First Kiss, Swearing, one braincell trio chaos, LWJ is there because isn't he wherever the chaos is?, JC is #tired, Asexual Character, this is a collab so: with links to art!, Russian Translation Available)

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12. hi!! i’m looking for a fic where wwx has to marry a dead lwj. set in the victorian period (i think) the jiang family lost all of their money and the only way for them to survive was for him to marry lwj’s ghost. soon after he starts investigating lwj’s supposed death and tries to find his ( and lan qiren’s) killer. lwj’s ghost comes to talk to wwx and protects him! i can give more details if necessary i just really want to read it again and can’t find it !! <3 thank you!!

FOUND? lovers be lost (but love shall not) by la_muerta (T, 13k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, 1910s, Case Fic, Ghosts, Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Ghost Marriage)

FOUND? 囍 | a ghost wedding by sweetlolixo (E, 11k, Wangxian, Arranged Marriage, Ghost wedding, Pining LWJ, Ghost Groom LWJ, Corpsefucking in the most romantic way possible, Angst with a Happy Ending, Non-Explicit Sex, Love at First Sight)

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13. Hey! I have been looking for a fanfic, but after almost three hours of looking through ao3, I thought I might have better luck here.

It was about wwx going through increasingly bad bdsm encounters and not receiving the proper aftercare, so he just started acting more withdrawn. lwj notices and offers to care for wwx.

I don't remember if it was complete, but to the point I read, it was just lwj taking care of wwx. Sorry if it is not much to go off 😅 anyways, thanks in advance!

FOUND? like it's the only thing i'll ever do by quothhh (M, 5k, WangXian, WWX/Other (offscreen), Modern AU, Pre-Relationship, Aftercare, Sub Drop, Pining)

FOUND? try a little tenderness by ilip13 (E, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, BDSM, Dom/sub, Aftercare, Subdrop, Reference to bad BDSM etiquette in wwx's past, Reference to wwx's self-worth issues, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, Little bit of miscommunication in the beginning but they get better at it, Blow Jobs, Masturbation, Reference to BDSM scenes)

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14. Hello! Looking for a fic that I think was some sort of sunshot fix it. The scene I recall the most is that wangxian were together and found a-yuan on the warfront and decided to take him in. They were totally going to tote him around with them while fighting in the war, but were more sensibly told to bring a-yuan back to lotus pier. I think yzy or cssr or lwj's mother may have been alive and at lotus pier, so they dropped a-yuan off to be with his grandmother and then went back to fight in the war. Thanks everyone!

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15. Hey, just wanted to ask about a specific fic that I remember, but for the life of me, I can't find at all. It is basically an arranger marriage au of Wangxian, but here Lan Wangji is an immortal who had travelled worlds looking for Wei Ying's soul after his death. There are some shenanigans and canon Wangxian shameless flirting in the mix. At one point Wei Wuxian ends up dressing as a woman when he is first going to meet Lan Wangji to get out of the marriage, but Lan Zhan finds it cute

FOUND? 4018 by sweetlolixo (E, 28k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, ABO, Older LWJ, Immortal LWJ, Pregnant WWX, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Age Difference, Boypussy, Vaginal Fingering, Dry Humping, Knotting, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talking LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Size Difference, Feminization)

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16. I'm looking for a fic that about time travelling. It's were JC wished that WWX did not exist, thinking that it would solve all the issues but in the end everything went to hell. The Wen won the war and JC still lost his core and all cultivators are in hiding or prisoner. Thank you in advanced!🙏

FOUND? The Way It Wasn’t by KouriArashi (T, 72k, WangXian, XiYao, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, (eventually haha), Slow Build, Family Feels, Moral Ambiguity, Eventual Happy Ending)

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17. For the next fic finder, there was one where in the backstory, WWX once called JYL to come pick him up, but she got into a car accident on the way. I can't remember if she survived or was killed, but it led to WWX splitting with the Jiangs. The actual plot is equally as fuzzy I'm afraid, so I don't have a clue what to filter for.

FOUND? Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise (E, 71k, WangXian, Time Travel, kind of, it’s more reality travel but there’s modern wwx and cultivator lwj, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings, Cultural Differences)

FOUND? Against Entropy by Duochanfan (M, 40k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, of an underaged character, Amnesia, Drama, Romance, Family Feels, Hurt WWX, Older JC, Homelessness, Angst with a Happy Ending, Protective LWJ, Protective LXC, Supportive LXC, Protective NMJ, Supportive LQR)

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18. Hi I'm looking for a fan fiction where near the end while at Cloud Recess Jiang Cheng is hostile to Weiying and lan shizhui / lan yuan also suddenly remembers Jiang cheng being at burial mound during the 1st seige, he is kicked out but comes across jingshe & seeslan zahn and weiying having sex, possessive lan zahn sees him and looks directly at him almost to show weiying is his and will never be Jiang chengs. @amj33

FOUND? «The Fault In Jiāng Chéng» by Anonymous (M, 3k, wangxian, JC & WWX, not JC friendly, Zǐdiàn Spiritual Tool, Blood and Injury, Sick WWX, Dark LWJ, Dark LXC, Smut, Stabbing)

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19. hello thank all the mods you for your hard work, you’re all amazing and i am so so grateful this blog exists!!

i’m looking for a fic where married wangxian somehow time travel and meet their past selves, who are both shocked that they end up getting married. i remember older wwx being annoyed at his younger self because he can see how he’s hurting younger lwj and older lwj mostly sitting in companionable silence with his younger self, because they mutually understand their love for wwx.

much appreciated 🫶

NOT FOUND! The Young, the Horny, the Jaded and the Jade: Partners in Time by Admiranda (T, 55k, wangxian, established couple, Crossover, road trip with your older selves, teasing your younger selves about their obvious crushes, yin iron does yin iron things, mdzs/cql crossover, adult wangxian, Teenage Wangxian, genius WWX, LWJ adores his husband, we're all in this disaster together, xue yang causes problems, WIP)

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20. Hello again! I've been trying to find two fics for weeks and just can't seem to find them. A) One was an arranged marriage between lan zhan and wei ying that was set up by the jins; wei ying was never part of the jiang and he had some funky death stuff going on in the burial mounds, and took in the wens. The jin made both the wens and the Lans think the other was going to attack and that's why they did the marriage. B) The other fic has wei ying and lan zhan getting together but keeping it secret; I don't remember much, just that in trying to save the wens, jiang change tries to marry wen Qing and madam yu gets pissed off and says that since it was wei yings idea, he should marry her. Wei ying is later crying to lan zhan because both of them know it's the only option they have to save them, so he'll do it. Lan xichen comes across them and realizes they're in a relationship, and decides to marry wen qing himself to fix it - later lan zhan and wei ying reveal their relationship. Thank you so much! @forgottenwhispersinthedark

20A)

FOUND! Fated series by LtLJ (G, 31k, wangxian, canon divergence, arranged marriage, post-apocalypse, magical apocalypse, hurt/comfort, YLLZ WWX, badass LWJ, canon-typical violence, angst w happy ending, case fic)

20B)

FOUND! ❤️ Gentians in bloom by teawater (M, 251k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, AU after cold spring, Political Marriage, Dysfunctional Family, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, LQR bashing (not really), POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Eventual Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, JC is actually a lot better than canon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, YZY bashing (again not completely))

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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romanarose · 3 months

Text

Tommy Time Fics!

I've been told by multiple people I'm the reason they thirst for Tommy Miller so I figured I'd compile a list!

A place for all Tommy Miller related fics that'll I'll keep in my TLOU master list so everyone can see. I'll keep mine way at the end.

THIS IS AN ONGOING LIST! If you got recs, let me know and I'll add them!!!

These fics may contain varying degree's of dark, all the way to non-con. Media consumption is your responsibility and all fics are labeled properly.

It's pretty hard to find fics with JUST Tommy so a lot of these are Tommy/Joel

By @toxicanonymity

Toxi has helpfully made a whole list of all her Joel x reader x Tommy fics!!! some are stand alone, some are part of a series, all are fantastic. I don't think there's one I haven't read

See also: Bird of Prey: Tommy x reader. Raider Tommy, I need him so badly you don't get it.

By @aurorawritestoescape Bad Blood Series: Tommy Miller x reader x Joel. A rare fit where Tommy is the focus! darkish reader wants to fuck her step dad Tommy, and step-uncle Joel is along for the ride.

By @katiexpunk

Run the Table: Joel x reader x Tommy. Pool table sex <3 that's all you need to know

By @koshkamartell

Training Day: Joel x reader x Tommy: DDDNE. Joel doesn't like your attitude, Tommy helps keep you in check.

By @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin 3 amazing pieces!!!

Stay With Me- Tommy Miller (fluff)

Snowed In- Joel Miller, Tommy Miller (dark) DDDNE TW: NONCON

Blackout- Tommy Miller (dark) DDDNE TW: DUBCON

by @thetriumphantpanda

Two for the Price of One: Joel x reader x Tommy. BREEDING BREEDING BREEDING!!!

By @noxturnalpascal Plenty of Time: Tommy Miller x m!OC. Based on a now deleted series, but if you liked Maintenance Man Joel, you'll enjoy this!

By @justagalwhowrites Run Rabbit: Joel x reader Tommy. Our fav trope, RAIDERS!!!!! The sexual tension hnnnngggg

By @romana-after-dark / @romanarose The Wrong Way series: Joel x reader, Tommy x reader DDDNE. Tommy and Joel are raiders and you're sold to Joel, but Tommy takes a liking

Blessed be the Fruit Series: Joel x reader ft. Tommy. Handmaid's Tale AU. You're Joel's handmaid, but lucky for Tommy, Joel likes to watch. (Tommy chapters later)

Yes, Uncle Tommy?: Tommy x reader ft. Joel

PLEASE KNOW I DIDN'T INTENTIONALLY LEAVE ANYONE OUT, I JUST HAVE A VERY POOR MEMORY WITH WHO WROTE WHAT!

Please lmk if you have Tommy fics!!!

thank you all so much!! I'll be adding as time goes!

(also if you only write on ao3, that's cool too! send me the link and ill put it on!)

If you'd like to be removed for any reason, let me know!

#Tommy miller #Tommy miller x reader #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #thou hbo #Gabriel luna #hbo the last of us #hbo tlou #tommy miller fanfiction #Tommy miller smut

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diaryujin · 7 months

Text

𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, 𝐀 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃

summary: being part of a gang that murders isn't as badass and cool as those silly romance novels make it out to be. it involves questions, regrets and tough decisions, including ones related to your ex, jay.

genre: angst

includes: exes to (not so) lovers, inaccurate gang life pls bear with me i don't do illegal shit *sob*, murder, death, blood, curse words, guns, jay is mentioned as a nepo baby, mentions of (g)i-dle minnie and soyeon and le sserafim chaewon, quite some flashbacks, not that good ngl, not proofread, lmk if i missed anything

pairing: ex! gang member! jay x ex! gang member! fem! reader

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i apologize for 1. not updating 'diary entries filled with her' i've been busy writing this and i've been too drained to upload those :( i'll start with them again tomorrow and 2. if this isn't all that good idk why i wasted time writing this but oh well

“Y/N, your target is agent JJXNG. He’s an assassin like you who’s part of the team trying to track us down.” You focused on Minnie in front of you, the leader of the gang you were a part of. You were her most trusted assassin and the one she assigned the most difficult targets to. Sometimes, you didn’t understand what kept you in this job, but all your doubts would clear whenever you saw the stacks of cash as your monthly salary.

“JJXNG. How long has he been with the squad?”

“Two years. He’s a formidable force though — sneaky rat. He slips out from right under our noses.” “I see. Any specific date I should get him dead by?” “As soon as possible, honestly. I’ll tell Chaewon to set up a lead in one of our usual alleys.”

“What about alley 96?”

“Perfect. See, this is why I love you so much.”

She patted your shoulder, grinning a little. You chuckled, but it was weak. Seeing that, her face wore a look of concern.

“Are you okay with doing this though? I know you’re going through that break up…”

You shook your head.

“I’ll be fine. Can’t let emotions get in the way, right? Anyway, it’s not like this involves him.”

“I understand if not though. I’ll just ask Soyeon.”

“Seriously, I’ll do it.”

She tilted her head questioningly, and you nodded. She sighed before letting go of your shoulder.

“Alright then, I’ll call you once Chae is done. Take care of yourself until then, hm?”

“I will. Take care, Minnie.”

She smiled, and you reciprocated the gesture.

Upon reaching your apartment, you went into your room, looking for a change of clothes. Hands moving through your wardrobe, you froze as they landed on a certain hoodie.

Jay’s.

You must’ve mistaken it as one of your own when you were returning all his stuff. You ran your hands slowly over the fabric which was surprisingly still somewhat warm. He bought it in the USA, and it was rather expensive. You often stole it from him to the point where he just gave up and gifted it to you.

Unfolding it, you had an internal debate over whether you should wear it. In the end, you took off the clothes you were wearing and wore the hoodie and a pair of comfortable leggings. Why leave it to collect dust?

Soon, you were on your bed, lazing around as you scrolled on your Instagram feed. Your eyes were looking at posts, stories, and reels, but your brain processed nothing.

Jay.

Homemade cooking.

As if on cue, your stomach grumbled.

You buried your face in your mattress, groaning. Hell, you missed the taste of his food, but worse — you missed him.

You were yet to reach the acceptance bit of the five stages of grief, and it was hindering all your thoughts. Looking back at your phone, you closed Instagram and opened your gallery.

A major part of getting over someone was deleting the more intimate pictures with and of them.

Fuck it, you didn’t.

How could you, when the man was way too fine to be real?

You were holding on to slivers of what you used to have, and you knew it was unhealthy, but who were you to care?

Scrolling through all the pictures, different memories played in your mind by a broken record. Smiley, hot, cute, straight from hell, meme-worthy, sculpted by Michelangelo, jawline sharp enough to cut through a watermelon, goofy, with a guitar — your photo album of him had all genres of Park Jongseong, even his darkest and deepest ones.

If everything was so perfect, what went wrong?

You reflected on your three-year relationship with him. Arguments were few and far between the two of you. You spent a lot of time with him, he spoiled you a lot (even though you told him not to), he treated you like a princess, and you reciprocated it as much as you could. Even with all your missions with the gang, everyone would call you both the perfect couple.

Your parents adored him — he was their ideal son-in-law — and you couldn’t help but smile as you remembered the shy look on his face as they explicitly told him that. His parents were friendly with you. Sure, they were a bit awkward and haughty, but you had seen worse.

All this got you wondering…

Where in the middle of this dreamy paradise did the devil find his home?

He wouldn’t have cheated. He was too good-hearted for that…or at least you hoped.

You did a little digging after you both ended things, but (un)fortunately you had no evidence to support your claim, and couldn’t have any justified hard feelings towards him.

You had the events of that day burned in your memory — the day when the safe little bubble you lived in burst.

He was at your place, and you both were watching a movie together. Usually, you’d be cuddling with him, but that day, it was like he was doing his best not to let even an inch of his skin come in contact with yours. It hurt your feelings, sure, but you just brushed it off as him being on his man period.

A scene appeared on the screen where the main character and her love interest were having a cheesy date, and you turned to look at Jay, expecting a comment about how your relationship with him was better or a lovesick smile, or his lips puckering out in an awkwardly endearing manner, or- or- anything other than a blank stare and a frown. He noticed your gaze and his jaw tensed.

“Y/N…this-this- you and I…”

He took a deep breath.

“I can’t do us anymore.”

Your eyes widened, and your mouth opened and closed like a fish. Your hand reached for his instinctively, but he drew it back, showing that he wasn’t joking.

“But- why? What’s-What’s going wrong? It’s nothing we…we can’t fix, you know- I’m sorry if I did anything, I’ll-I’ll change my ways, just please don’t-”

“It’s not your fault, okay? I just- my work is getting more time-consuming nowadays, and I don’t want to end up neglecting you in the process, Y/N. You deserve someone better.”

“I don’t need anyone else, Jay! You’re more than enough, you’re my everything! I don’t care if you have to spend less time with me, I understand and I’ll manage-”

“No Y/N, trust me. Plus…”

He looked away nervously, eyes staring at the paused screen as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“Plus…?” “My parents disapprove.”

Silence.

“Oh.”

You couldn’t say anything against that. You knew how much Jay loved his parents, and you would never want to come between them.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wish it wasn’t like this.”

“That’s okay. I know- how they mean the world to you.”

“I’m not saying you don’t, but-”

“It’s fine, really.”

He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “I wish you all the best in your future endeavors, Y/N. I’ll never forget you. I just can’t.”

“You too, Jay. Good luck with your work.”

And just like that, he left.

A month ago.

You wanted to scream. This was like the millionth time that you thought about that day.

You seriously had to get something better to do in your life.

Suddenly, a call came on your phone. You looked at the ID, and as you expected, it was Minnie.

“Y/N? Hello.”

“Hey, Minnie. Something up?”

“They took the bait literally an hour after Chaewon set it up.”

There was a snicker of amusement from her end, and you grinned a little to yourself as well over how stupid the squad was.

“Damn, they’re confident.”

“I know! They didn’t even wait!”

“It’s dumb.”

“Mhm. Anyway, those bitches set up the meeting date as fuckin’ tomorrow. Wild, no?”

“Seriously? So soon? Kinda feeling bad for JJXNG, the poor guy most likely isn’t even prepared.”

“Fools, really. Deserved. You’re up for it, right?”

“Of course. Time?”

“11 p.m.”

“Alright, I’ll see you at the base at 10:30 p.m. tomorrow. That good?”

“That’s perfect. Alley 20, by the way.”

The alley was quiet, the streetlights providing just enough luminescence for you to notice the outline of a man slowly approaching you. You gripped the pistol in your hand tighter, setting your arm to the side so that the guy wouldn’t notice.

The soft but heavy sound of his footsteps was slightly muffled by the drizzle that left you a bit soaked. Drops of water trailed from your hair to your face, and you wiped them off with your free hand.

The man was now close enough to you. He wore a mask just like you did, but his was black with ‘JJXNG’ written on it in bold, red letters.

This guy was bloody stupid.

There was something familiar in his gaze, but you brushed it off as deja vu. He seemed to be sizing you up, so you did the same. You noticed that he had a gun too, so you moved yours further behind your back. Looking into his eyes, you saw that there was a bit of confusion swirling in them.

“Agent JJXNG? Hard to pronounce.”

You chuckled dryly, but his eyes widened.

“You’re…ENZ? Wait, but-”

Why…why was his voice so familiar? The guy had the same tone as…as someone who had been a vital part of your life until a month ago, and then became a permanent resident in your head.

“Y/N?”

You froze.

“How- How the fuck do you-”

The same surprise. The same shock. The same concern.

“Jongseong…?”

He lowered his mask at you saying his name, and you could see how his mouth was agape with shock. You did the same, although your lips were pursed together in a thin line.

“I didn’t expect to be seeing you so soon.”

His hands fidgeted with his pistol, and you realized.

You were tasked to kill him.

He stood still for a moment, seemingly going through the same dilemma.

“So, Jongseong, this is the work that’s been so time-consuming, hm? Did your parents approve of this?”

He gritted his teeth, remembering how he said those things as a reason for breaking up with you.

“Look, Y/N-”

“I’m not about to get together with you right now.”

“I’m not that desperate.”

That hurt, and you had no idea why.

“Do you promise to never keep secrets from me, Jay?”

You held out your pinkie suddenly, catching him off guard. The poor boy was just trying to cook.

“All of a sudden?”

He chuckled, before instantly locking pinkies with you.

“I promise, only if you do the same, love.”

You smiled at him, before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek.

You shook your head, not wanting to remember unfulfilled promises right now. Suddenly, your eyes focused on the gun pointed directly at your forehead and you winced, mentally slapping yourself for losing focus.

“Didn’t think I’d be doing this ever in my life, but here we are.”

His tone was cold yet cocky, which was annoying as hell. You reciprocated the gesture calmly, and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Fuck. Should’ve seen that coming.”

He was in a pissy mood. You were in a pissy mood.

An irritated Jay plus an irritated you equaled disaster, which was why you usually avoided each other when both of you were emotionally heightened.

Unfortunately, circumstances didn’t allow that. You were at his house already mad, and you wanted to be with him to blow some steam off. He got some news from work that seriously angered him by the time you were there.

It started with you forgetting to wash the dishes once and ended up with the both of you having a screaming match in the living room. He complained that ‘you never cared about his feelings’ and you retorted by saying ‘he had extremely high standards’.

That was your first major argument, and it ended so badly that you didn’t contact each other for a week.

Why were you having all these flashbacks? You weren’t some anime protagonist.

“Is this a race of who kills who first?”

“It’s always like that. I thought you had two years of experience under your Prada belt? Or are your targets handed to you on a silver platter as well?”

He scoffed at your remark. He never liked to be reminded that he was a nepo baby. He was always extremely humble and sweet, even if he occasionally didn’t understand seemingly normal things due to his upbringing.

But fuck it, to hell with him and his kindness.

“It just feels weird, since I’m killing you.”

Your grip on your pistol loosened.

“...yeah.”

His eyes were now filled with remorse as they softened.

“Frankly speaking, I don’t-don’t really know how I’ll go on- move on from this.”

He cared.

He still cared.

A week after that big fight, you had someone at your door — Jay.

When you saw him at your doorstep, all of your favorite snacks cooked by him in one hand and a necklace box in another, you didn’t know how to react.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that.”

He genuinely looked like he was going to burst into tears. You hugged him tight, and he buried his head in your shoulder, sniffling a little.

“I forgive you. I’m sorry too.”

“I thought I lost you, love. Please- don’t leave me.”

“I won’t, Jay. I never will.”

The rest of the day was spent with you both cuddling, eating, and (re)watching your favorite movies amongst many kisses.

And that’s how you both made up after every fight.

You struggled to come to terms with the fact that the same guy you used to watch Lady and the Tramp with was now pointing a gun at your forehead.

In his defense, you were doing the same thing.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“I’ll count to three, and we pull the trigger at the same time when I reach 0.”

You didn’t know how to feel about that suggestion — it made too many things real.

You were going to die.

He was going to die.

You’d be the reason he died.

He’d be the reason you died.

You didn’t want to continue living after this. You didn't want to live holding the huge guilt of having murdered the sweetest guy on the planet. At this point, you were struggling to hold back tears.

“Sure.”

You steadied your arm, and he copied your action.

“3…”

The first day you both met.

“2…”

The day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

“1…”

Life while dating him.

“0.”

The day you both broke up.

The loud bang of your gunshot echoed throughout the alley, the rain accentuating it. The sound overpowered the clang of his gun falling to the ground, and his soft words.

“Y/N…I can’t. I can’t kill you. I still love yo-”

You opened your eyes and froze.

How did you just do that?

He should’ve killed you, you were dea-

Your eyes fell upon Jay’s body in front of you.

There was a hole in his forehead, and blood was trickling out of it. His eyes were rolled to the back of his head, and you could only see the whites. There he lay, limp and lifeless.

And it was all your fault.

Then it hit you.

He didn’t shoot.

He broke yet another promise.

You kneeled in front of him, letting yourself cry. You cradled him close just like how you used to whenever he had a bad day and you would comfort him.

“Jay…Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Why-Why didn’t you shoot?! Bastard, how do you want me to live now that you’re gone! You piece of- of absolute shit! I loved you, I love you and I will- simply continue to love you, and-and it’s going to hurt ‘cause you’re not here, damn it!”

You held him close, your salty tears mixing with his blood.

You couldn’t do it.

You couldn’t continue life knowing you were the reason he died.

You remained in that position, Jay’s body in your arms. Your warm hand gripped his cold one. It was weird how it still gave you comfort.

Your eyes darted around, before focusing on his gun in the pool of blood. You took it, deciding to finish his mission for him, not minding the red liquid staining your hand.

His gun was now on the side of your head.

“I love you, Park Jongseong.”

Another loud bang echoed in the alleyway.

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toxicanonymity · 1 year

Text

BLOG FAQs

WELCOME ABOARD! This blog has amazing readers which makes it a lot of fun. Check your content settings to make sure you can see everything. Heed warnings on fics. UPDATED 4/30/24.

Basics

Tox/Toxy, she/her. millennial. Blog is 18+.

As of 4/30/24, I'm still on hiatus, but my WIPs are not abandoned.

Do not copy, translate, or repost* my work. Do not put it into AI or make bots of it. Ty for understanding.

*reblogging ( 🔁 button) is encouraged.

Q: Are Requests open?

A: no, not for new fics. but feel free to send thots, particularly on my stories. if I use it I'll tag you. you can also ask Qs about lore, etc.

Q: Will you write more every inch/left in Lincoln?

A: I plan to. More here. For Every Inch, there are three more parts planned.

Q: When is [fic] coming back? How many chapters?

A: IDK, sorry. If I knew I'd tell you. I have to delete asks like this for my sanity. I get overwhelmed. In the future, I'm not planning to release things as I write, I'm gonna try to finish everything before posting. Problem is I have a lot of one shot fails / play as I go AUs. We'll see. I can tell you Every Inch has 6 total parts.

Q: Did you read my fic?

A: I'm sure it's good but I'm a slow/bad reader. I'm also overdosed on pedro rn. More here.

Q: AO3

A: Here, not everything is on there but lmk if there's something you'd like me to prioritize as I work on bringing everything over.

Q: Tag list?

A: Please follow @toxicfics, use the person icon to turn on notifications, and use this trick for getting a tab on your dashboard just for your blog subscriptions so you can see what you missed.

Q: Are the fics always dark on this blog?

A: No.

Q: What is the brothel?

A: I HC my characters as living in my brothel which has its own crack sideblog @toxicbrothel and tv show.

Q: What are Joelkémons?

A: Reader-coined term for the Joel variants on this blog. Some listed here: Joelkémon cards.

Q: Can we make your characters into bots?

A: No, please don't do this. It makes me feel bad and they don't even work. Every time it puts me farther away from updating the fic. Please. o not copy, repost, translate, put in IA, or make bots of my work. Please lmk if you ever see my work made into a bot, copied, etc.

Q: Who's night walks!Joel? Who's thighs out?

A: Night Walks is an AU where Joel is your hot, older, creepy pothead neighbor. Night walks masterlist. Thighs out (another AU) is your boyfriend's hot slutty dad.

Q: What's a HOG? Who/what is GILF?

A: Hot Old Guy, from Silence can never be bought pt. 2 and 5. GILF is grandpa I'd Like to Fuck and may refer to the one from Pawn Shop (Joel in his 60s) @gilfjoel.

Q: Who is Dr. Rock?

A: Hot sex therapist who roleplays my characters. Dr. Rock is also the poster boy for avoiding discourse.

Q: Do you still write slashers?

A: Yes. I just wrote my first Thomas Hewitt in March 2024. Main/slashers masterlist.

Q: What other fics & blogs do you rec?

A: Please check out @toxicrecs

Q: How can I stay motivated to write without getting a lot of notes?

A: Please see these posts: here and here.

Q: Why did you unfollow me?

A: As a Tumblr noob, I followed accts all willy nilly--i was impatient to diversify my dash by account. But now I want it more diverse by fandom too. I recently put my dash in chronological mode and began seeing a lot more of some people. If we've never interacted, I don't want to feel like a lurker. Or I could've lost (some or all) interest in your fandom. Or I may have forgotten why I followed you, especially if what you're posting has changed. Or I might be wanting to reduce the discourse I see. Or it could be be something like what's described below that I don't want to see.

✨Q: Am I blocked? Why can't I see your main blog from my account? / Did you soft block me? What is going on?

⚠️ A: The most common reasons I block are for policing or judging what others write or post, kink shaming, or spreading harmful rumors. ⚠️

When it comes to rumors and shaming, silence is not a sign of guilt or agreement. It's confidence in the truth and desire to keep harmful takes off the dash. As a rule, I would ignore and block false accusations, rumors, or kink shamers instead of giving them a huge audience by responding or addressing it.

Harmful takes in the wild / targeted harassment: blocked. And if a post is bad enough--such as calling for targeted harassment of writers or trivializing a serious crime by casually accusing writers of it, I may block people for positively interacting with it. I don't want to be on your dash if you share those views, even if it's about som thing I don't write. On my blog, it's important for readers to understand fiction can't be equated with real life. And who's to say I won't offend or traumatize you on a different topic one day? It's for your own good.

You can get blocked on anon too.

#FAQ

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