#idk im just feeling a bit disheartened... i guess. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prestonmonterey · 4 months

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hey so im v curious about like reality shifting and stuff but idk much about it and i have some questions

hii ok

im like

a bit eepy

but ill try to make my thoughts make sense

(forgive me, i wanna learn more about shifting and the community, but all of my knowledge comes from inherently critical sources, so im sorry if i come off as rude or anything, im not trying to be i genuinely want to learn more about this)

reality shifting

to my understanding

is like...kinda a combination of fiction/fanfic and dreaming.

and it stems from the idea of the multiverse?

and the idea. that you can exchange your consciousness with someones from another timeline/parallel universe

and usually this happens when youre dreaming or begins when you sleep

(also plz correct me if im wrong on any of the stuff above)

now onto question stuff

i think its pretty important, that like. a lot of the stuff ive seen around shifting and like, response to any criticism is basically like 'youre the only person holding yourself back" like, anyone can shift, so if you cant its your fault

and on one hand i guess this could be motivational? like as long as you try hard enough its possible?

basically i want to make sure it isnt hurting peoples self esteem or mental health

but also. i. had a similar experience with lucid dreaming when i was a kid. my mom had a phase about lucid dreaming and was telling me all about it and was like 'you should try it' so i did. i tried. over and over. to somehow just 'realize' i was dreaming and take control. it never worked for me. and my mom was like 'well i guess youre just not trying hard enough'

and it was really disheartening bc ive always had trouble with sleep (might have like. insomnia or something. ive never been able to sleep well through a full night even before my life was consumed by screens.) and ive always had extremely strange dreams. and in my waking mind of course i know that if my teacher turned into an octopus with an apple for a head (yes this did happen in a dream) i would definitely notice and be like 'hey, thats not right' but it doesnt work like that in dreams. in my dreams it kinda feels like my impulses control me and i dont have any sense of self or logic.

and it felt awful to be told that it was my fault that i couldnt do it.

i also know that lucid dreaming somewhat ties into shifting so thats one of my other concerns, bc ive never been able to lucid dream and i dont know if i ever will

also idk where to put this but like. safety is important to me. i have friends who shift and i want to make sure they arent like, actually at risk of dying? and even seperate from that im wondering if people use this as a form of escapism too often that it becomes unhealthy and like negatively affects other aspects of their life

next question: is there proof

of course theres going to be anecdotal evidence from individuals in the community, and thats super alright. but sometimes people make things up. and sometimes people tell made up things to young, impressionable children who carry those falsehoods into life. and im worried about that

ok so ive read like 1 artice about this all. but immediately it brought up a major red flag for me. it gave an example of a study on shifting. but. it didnt cite its sources

and if anyones wondering that is a huge no-no. anyone can make up conclusions from made up studies. the point of studies is to show that people who are properly educated and know what theyre doing support these claims.

now im not saying shifting is made up in any way. it just seems sketchy to me that seemingly widespread sources talk about studies but theres no links or anything. theyre basically saying 'i saw a thing about it. just trust me.'

also uhh...idk much about the multiverse. but from what i understand. it comes from the idea of free will. and that every time anyone makes a descision, a parallel universe is created where they made a different descision. so i get that that could change a lot of things about the world like the rate of inventions and industrialization and wars and stuff. but really the shifting that ive seen most is into more fantasy leaning worlds. and im kinda wondering how thats possible in the multiverse? like sure theres infinite timelines...but most of those timelines will just be like. the same as this one but samantha chose to put on her right sock first instead of her left sock or something. and physics still applies, right? so how does hogwarts exist? does hogwarts exist? if magic is real in a parallel universe, is it real here?

so basically to sum it up my main questions are:

how do we know shifting is possible for everyone?

is it safe? (mentally, physically etc)

is lucid dreaming necessary?

is there any proof or credible source that i can look to for more info?

and how does this tie into the multiverse theory

also if anyone has any information about scripting and like evrything about reality shifting that would be great

i wanna learn more but im afraid of finding misinformation

ty :3

#marble musings #reality shifting #shifting #shifting questions

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mariahcarreyyy · 4 months

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Story snippet: This one is still a WIP but would love your feedback 🫶🏼 *warning cussing did not include smut in the snippet but might send that next if it's okay, cause I feel like I definitely need feedback on that lol*

My heart seemed to stop as I saw who walked through the door. Those golden flecs in his deep green eyes, the way his brown curls look perfectly tosseled, his incredibly sculpted body. God he is gorgeous he had always been gorgeous but seeing him again, he looks so mature, so manly. "Holy fuck" I whisper to myself, trying to shake the inappropriate thoughts flooding my brain. I slowly slip out of the room trying not to draw attention to myself, and gain some sense of composure. As I step out onto the patio the warm, thick, Monoco air blows gently over my skin, I lean my head back, close my eyes, and take a deep breath, a deep breath that was immediately halted when I take in an all too familiar scent.

- thanks love xx 🪼

HI ELLY!!!! So so sorry for the late response im a bit sick right now, i hope this feedback is still beneficial for u🫶🫶 they'll be extremely specific and take em with a grain of salt bcs 1. im a picky reader and 2. im definitely not even certified to be giving out writing advice lol

Okay so i just wanna start off by saying the potential i see with u and writing is insane. Heres some feedback to improve it:

don't compliment the driver too much -> obviously theyre gorgeous but from a reader viewpoint, it could come across as a bit too much. you have to mention the attraction the reader has to the driver, ofcourse, but maybe try and make it a bit subtle.

show, don't tell -> i honestly think you shouldn't live by this phrase because sometimes telling is necessary but in this snippet i think showing would be more beneficial. (e.g. instead of describing the drivers features in the beggining and then saying that he looks much more attractive now that hes grown up, you can describe it from the very start. So, it would go something like, "Familiar golden flecs in his emerald eyes, slightly longer curls cascading perfectly down to his ears, and stubborn baby/teenager fat no longer hiding his lean, sculpted body.") ***btw im guessing that the driver is lando bcs of the green eyes + curls but i may be completely wrong & also is this a childhood friends to lovers type situation or??? just curious💙

sentence structure variations -> honestly i should take my own advice because i struggle so so much with this. basically what this means is that when ur writing, every sentence shouldn't be short and at the same time, every sentence shouldn't be long. There has to be a balance. A short sentence here and there. Maybe a slightly longer one to get the read more invested in your writing. And, then, once the reader i fully engaged and hooked onto your words, you can transition into longer sentences. Ha, see what i did there. I played with sentence variations!!! (E.g. you could rewrite, "As I step out onto the patio the warm, thick, Monoco breeze blows gently over my skin, I lean my head back, close my eyes, and take a deep breath, a deep breath that was immediately halted when I take in an all too familiar scent." into, "When I step out onto the patio, the warm, thick Monaco air blows gently over my skin. Relieved, I lean back. My eyes close and I breathe in the refreshing air; a breath almost immedietly halted when the all too familiar scent fills my lungs.") ***thats not the best example of sentence structure variation, i'll admit, but again, im so shit at it.

Anddddddd thats it!!! Well, make sure to pop it into grammarly b4 u post it but im not gonna focus on that bcs u should SEE my shit grammar and spelling in my WIP's 🙈🙈 also, i know this seems long so please dont be disheartened. its literally only three points im just a natural yapper LMFAO. and if u want to send me the smut, feel free, but i'm even worse at writing that so idk if i'll be of much help💙💙

#mariahcarreyyy . . . 🪼 anon

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fand0m-idi0t · 1 year

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Y’know it’s really disheartening that even asking where the strainer is/what there is to eat gets met with being called childish. Like, ma’am I am trying to learn the whereabouts of the strainer I didn’t need to be fucking attacked for never being taught life skills and getting a job by myself! I am only 19 and I was offered the job! Sure bio mom may be general manager so nepotism was a bit at play, but you make it sound like I could never get a job without that! I’m sure despite being autistic I could still get a job somewhere! It wouldn’t be easy that’s for sure, not in this economy, but I’d fucking do it.

Like fuck, guess it’s my fault that the time I was supposed to be learning those skills I was actively being neglected, recovering from that neglect, and trying to identify my traumas. My eating habits still aren’t stable. Better than before sure, but my weight still fluctuates a lot and never goes above 115lbs. Not even mentioning that I can’t eat anything before having a cosmic brownie bc my brain will not let me think of it as food since it wasn’t available to me back then but brownies were.

I know I’m not the smartest or the fastest learner but I know the basics of cooking, cleaning, and using the washing machine now. Do I remember to clean my room often? No. Do I remember to shower or brush my teeth often? No. Am I trying to do better/be better? Hell yes! I know when my parents die I’ll have to fend for myself. Sure maybe I’m not actively seeking to learn the skills I need, but it’s easy to slip into complacency if there’s nothing to motivate you. I’m not saying I’m perfect, I know I’m not, but my efforts being acknowledged would be nice.

Honestly nowadays it feels like asking questions and having to be reminded of things is a fucking crime.

Not to mention being told that asking where something is should only be done at a someone else’s house? Like what?? If your married and you don’t know where something is and your partner is home do you just not ask them?

Im not certain but I’m also pretty sure other people struggle with learning this towards the end of their highschool career/early adulthood without even being autistic.

Idk, I feel like I shouldn’t even be upset about this.

#sorry for the rant #venting #autism #living with adhd #living with autism #life skills #trauma #parental neglect #stepmom

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mediawhorefics · 2 years

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I must admit I feel a bit weird after reading your tags. I’ve send anons, I’ve commented on ao3 on various occasions about many fics, TBOW included. I’ve never gotten any replies or acknowledgements from you about TBOW so I assumed those interactions are unwanted or uncomfortable for you since the fics is so personal. so I stopped sending them. And now I’m totally lost 😅 I don’t know how I can interact with your works. And I’d really like to because they are really good.

oh, im so sorry, i didn't mean to make you feel that way. there's a point i stopped responding to comments about tbow because even though they're all INCREDIBLY meaningful to me, i always felt really really guilty about not updating. so i always felt that all i did was apologise when i replied and it was really awkward for me. on top of making me feel kind of shit and like a disappointment to everyone :/ but every personal tbow comment has a very special place in my heart and i've really treasured all of them.

my tags were more about wips in general anyways and my feelings about them. i think i've made it very clear over the years that i regret posting tbow as a wip and i really don't work well under that kind of pressure (often put there only by myself lbr). but yeah working hard on a wip after years of silence and being met with just 'more pls' or 'pls continue' is ... idk. a bit disheartening? i wasn't talking about people who comment in general and who tell me how much the story (or louis' character) means to them/how excited they are to read more/etc. i just meant the comments where it's just 'pls dont stop' or 'can't wait for more'. i know those comments are all super well-intentioned as well (hence why i said i didn't want to sound like a brat, though maybe it was a dick move to complain idk) but when you've JUST posted 10k its like.... can we acknowledge the work i JUST did before asking for more lmao.

anyways, im gonna delete that post idk why i posted it anyway. i was just feeling down, i guess. it was stupid, i'm sorry if it made you feel bad about the way you interact with my stuff, i really didn't mean it to come across that way at all :(

#about me #tbow

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funshinebf · 5 months

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gender moment venting below idk its kind of long and messy but i was just stream of thoughting about this shit

ive been wondering a bit lately about if i would want to go back on T again in the future. im trying not to worry about crossing that bridge til i get to it, but its just. idk. i sort of feel like if i decide that going back on it isnt right for me, that ive somehow... failed? like. i do not regret going on it! im very happy with my voice deepening, as well as my body hair growth. but i also really struggled with keeping up on my shots, the appointments and bloodwork, as well as the acne and patchy facial hair and how they affected my body image and self esteem. while on one hand, i would Love to have facial hair, i had a really hard time with the awkward phase of it growing in, and i just felt... really, really shitty about my appearence while i was dealing with it. if i could go back on it and instantly have fully formed facial hair and clear skin, i might consider it, but... since thats not possible, i think i'd rather just keep the changes i already got and continue to be off of it.

and like, i know that every trans persons needs and wants in their transition are different, and its okay to not want certain changes, it doesnt make someone less trans. but it just feels like, with how long i was fighting for it, and how desperately i assured everyone around me that it would be good for me... it feels like by stopping it ive just proven them all right. and thats really frustrating for me! because like i said, i dont REGRET doing it, i dont want to get rid of what i did get from it! i just. couldnt handle some of the other effects.

i also feel almost like. it isnt fair to other trans people i know who arent able to start hormones? like, oh, i got on them super easily and now i dont even want them, when other people are still struggling so much and would love to be in my shoes. its so disheartening.

and idk. i know that my reservations about this are most likely just internalized transphobia, but its still.. very upsetting. i dont want anyone to think of me as less of a man, or less valid because of my hesitance to go back on T. and like, i still very much want top surgery, and i have no doubts about my pronouns and expression of my identity. i know who i am, i know what makes me happy, and i know what makes me unhappy! i just wish i didnt have to deal with any of this, pressure i guess? to conform to something that lines up more with a cis persons view of how trans people should be. i dont want to pass as a cis man. i dont think i ever will. i wish how i look didnt affect how people saw my gender, i want to be called 'sir' or 'young man' even when im wearing a full face of makeup and a dress. even when i have long hair and painted nails, even when i walk a certain way or have certain mannerisms or talk a certain way. i dont want any of that to automatically make people assume im a woman, or even use neutral pronouns for me. i just hate having to explain over and over again, that yes i ONLY use he/him, even when i look super feminine or use feminine terms for myself. if i ask someone else not to use feminine terms for me, why is that so hard for some people to understand? it isnt the same as me using it for myself. when i use it for myself its because i know exactly how i mean it and how i view myself when using it. i dont know those things when other people use it. only a select few people that i know for sure view me the way i am are allowed to refer to me that way. this shouldnt be so difficuly to wrap your head around. i know my own intent. i dont know yours. its that fucking simple!

urghhhh, this got a little more ramble-y than i meant it to. whatever. gender beam

#my post #vent

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spectrearia-archive · 4 years

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tbh you ever wish you could enjoy stuff without someone out there reminding you of how evil some producer was on the project, or how terrible the corporation is, etc etc. like, all this negativity surrounding whatever thing it is?

because honestly? sometimes i just wanna enjoy something that another human being has created for the sheer sake of appreciating Art. nothing more, nothing less. i get that a lot of people are scummy and evil and that seeps into literally every facet of life (including media - especially media), but man. how nice would it be to just simply say “i enjoy this thing” and no one harps on you for it? that’d be nice.

same goes for the reverse tho. i wish it was acceptable and normal to say you DONT like something without ppl making a big deal about it or forcing you to feel obligated to explain (in detail) your reasons WHY you don’t like a thing. sometimes like? u just dont vibe with something, and that’s ok too.

idk I guess my point is if just the act of liking/disliking something isn’t hurting anyone else, why police what people should or shouldn’t enjoy? it’s dumb.

#this isn't about anything in particular #i just see this online a lot #and its so disheartening #like gosh let ppl enjoy stuff #just for the sake of enjoying it #especially when it comes to media #which is . in its very nature. supposed to entertain #also sorry a lot of my posts probably have come across as negative lately #been kinda in a weird mental space #where im not quite upset #but also not totally feeling Fine either?#so i guess that might seep through a bit #idk #spectre says

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farlooms · 3 years

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any other nd ppl go thru that thing where they say smth or talk abt smth and ppl laugh at it even though you were being genuine and u dont really get why its funny. bc

#might delete later idk #or smth (like a song) will have a title and it makes people laugh even tho u dont really like. get it.#i dunno #it feels alienating i guess #and a bit like...disheartening #nothing happened im fine im just. thinking. i guess.#kage rattles

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shotorozu · 3 years

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hello!! i hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself ❤️ please remember to take breaks and drink some water !!!!

i was wondering if i could request headcanons for izuku, denki, and kirishima comforting a reader (gender neutral if you don’t mind) after their birthday absolutely sucked? it’s my birthday and my mom went out of her way to ruin it, my best friend is barely talking to me which idk why, i got my period which makes me sick, and it’s finals so i’ve spent the day crying, sleeping, and studying. if not i completely get it!!!! don’t feel pressured ❤️

s/o’s ruined birthday

character(s) : midoriya izuku, kaminari denki, kirishima eijirou (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used; gender neutral, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : comfort, (angst if you squint) fluff (x reader)

warning(s) : reader’s mom being mean, and waking up to cause unnecessary chaos just because she felt like it :( period mention in izuku’s but it’s not,, even descriptive. and it’s i one bullet don’t worry :))

note(s) : omg i relate to you so much anon, my past birthdays got ruined by mom just because she woke up on the wrong side of the bed 💀 and this year i got my period the day before my birthday— so i was cramping the entire time 😐 in short, i relate to you ‼️and i’m sorry your birthday got ruined :( i hope this helps

im also sorry for the delay :,) also no proofread 🧍‍♀️

➽───────────────❥

midoriya izuku

help omg he’s in a state of panic

HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED— like,, the person that cares about your birthday the most (besides you) is him‼️

izuku must’ve planned things out precisely, even going to the point that he’d buy your birthday present 2 months ahead

because he’s just so worried about messing things up. he’d never live it down if he failed this one day

he walks excitingly to your room, ready to pick you up for the day— since he wanted to take you out on a birthday lunch, to celebrate the day

well, it was mostly for a birthday lunch, but also because he wanted you to feel better

you’ve told him that the day had started out on a wrong foot— since you woke up to your best friend ignoring you for a reason you couldn’t figure out.

you reassured him that you’d find out later, but regardless, you wanted to cheer up— and not waste this day on sadness, and have a nice lunch with izuku.

“today is going to be wonderful, i claim it!” izuku exclaims excitingly, gently squeezing your hand— and you can’t help but be uplifted by his words

temporarily

you felt a weird feeling in your stomach, and it was all familiar too, the cramping in your abdomen—

oh, it was that. and izuku was able to recognize what it was. way to start of this birthday experience, right?

the both of you guys end up dashing to the nearest washroom, taking care of it immediately— there’s a concerned look on his face

“are you okay? are you in any pain?” he’d ask, running the back of his hand along your cheek in an attempt to comfort you

“i’m fine, izuku, it’s all good. now, let’s go!” you’d beam in excitement, which started a chain reaction— and lightened up izuku’s mood.

the discussion was put to rest on that, and the two of you went on like normal— as the both of you headed to the designated restaurant

there would only be more misfortunate events to happen, as it appeared to be that the moment you and izuku stepped in the restaurant

the waitress that was serving you both had an interest in your boyfriend, even though you were RIGHT there to see all of it

and oh wow, it was so subtle— you wouldn’t have guessed from the airy laughs, her lingering gazes, and the way her hand would touch his shoulder

and also the way she’d get your order wrong, or she’d spill your drink on you as an ‘accident’

oh and your boyfriend definitely knew about what she felt, and he was not pleased

she even went as far as to ask him if the date was boring, and if the complementary cake would make up for it— her efforts on being subtle making quite the jump.

which made you super frustrated and just overall,, not good, on your own birthday— and even izuku could see that, despite you not saying a word

so, izuku quickly paid for the food, and the both of you guys bailed the restaurant swiftly

it was still pretty early in the day, but all you wanted to do was sleep, and forget that today was even supposed to be a special day.

he left you alone in your room for you to change into comfier clothes— to your requests, and when he came back, you were in a state of distraught

and he’s super bothered, brows furrowed and everything. why must you be sad on your own birthday? how did this all go wrong? and how can he fix this?

“please don’t cry, Y/N, i’m so, so sorry.” he apologizes, his hands rubbing your back as tears dripped into your pillow

“i don’t,, know how this happened! if i knew the staff there were like,, that, i would’ve not picked that place. today was supposed to be an amazing day for you but..”

“don’t apologize izuku,” you reassured, rubbing the incoming tears away, “none of this was your fault, i love your efforts! this,, just sucks.”

“i know sweetie, i’m sorry for that,” he rubs your stomach when your face scrunches up in pain, “you know what? i’ll be right back!”

he quickly leaves for a bit, only to come back with a selection of desserts, your gift and his laptop “we can watch disney movies! or well,, anything you want. i know that disney movies make you feel better!”

you stare at the selection of desserts, and you finally smile, “yeah, yeah. that doesn’t sound bad.”

he sighs in relief, and presents you your birthday gift “open this while i set things up!”

you stare eyes wide at the bundle of desserts, “thank you, izuku!”

“anything for you, lovely.” he presses his lips onto the temples of your cheeks— happy to see you smiling

oh and he definitely filed a complaint to that restaurant when you weren’t looking, the girl got fired :))

kaminari denki

also in a state of panic

his plan for the day wasn’t very descriptive, and he decided that he was just going to go off what he wanted to do

rather than what izuku did— which was planning in advance.

‘i’m just gonna go off what i want, no plans made!’ is what he told himself in his head, as he went straight for your room

he’s puzzled when he enters your room, and sees a not-so-happy Y/N, face contorted in dismay

“is,, something on your mind? it’s Y/N day! why do you look so,,”

“sad?” you finish his sentence, “ah, no!” you shake your head— dismissing your expression just now “it’s just that,, my best friend is ignoring me. i don’t know why though, and she won’t tell me.”

and he’s like 😃❓what kind of friend ignores someone on their birthday? he’s gonna find out later, for sure!

“don’t worry, babe! we can always find out later, right? today should be filled with happiness, right?” he jabs your abdomen, tickling you— effectively earning a giggle

“right,” you smile, because denki always knows how to make you feel better. “let’s go!” you exclaim, holding his hand as you leave your room.

yes i’m reusing the best friend ignoring you think im sorry i can’t think

so kaminari’s walking you to the place he figured would be a great place to celebrate your birthday at— for once, he doesn’t look that lost

“are you sure you know where you’re going?” you’d tease, which would cause him to intensively reassure you that he does

“of course i do!” he says proudly, “i’m just gonna do my thing, y’know? i’m in charge of the destinations”

and before you know it, the both of you guys run into someone you weren’t expecting.

your bestie 🤩 oh the luck you genuinely have.

they scowl just looking at you, and denki didn’t like it— like,, the nerve? ignoring you and then giving you the skank eye?

but still, denki tried to keep a conversation, “didn’t expect to see you here! how are you?” he stammers, trying his best to make the tense atmosphere disappate

“i’m doing good, denki!” they exclaim excitingly, almost as if you weren’t there “where’re you heading off to?”

denki tilts his head in surprise, “y’know,, just heading off to celebrate lovely Y/N’s birthday, of course!” you give denki a small, tight lipped smile

but your best friend doesn’t seem to budge, “who?” they reply, as if they don’t see you

it’s disheartening, honestly. disagreement are inevitable but,, you didn’t understand nor did he

denki’s even more confused, but decides to cut the conversation of it’s length, thinking that the misfortunes could just end at that

they didn’t stop there

you’ve also managed to run into your mother outside of the restaurant, when you were taking a quick phone call

she, normally— would’ve been very pleased to see you, let alone on this special day

but it appeared to be that she wasn’t happy at all, and in fact— showed that very well when she saw who you were with

her eyes narrowing, “this is who you decided to spend your birthday with?” she asks, a smile is plastered on her lips, but it lacks authenticity when she glances back into the restaurant

you nod, feeling a little too intimidated to even speak with the mood she’s in— she glances at your boyfriend, who’s oblivious to your encounter with your mother

“keep your mouth in check, child. make sure you don’t do anything to embarrass yourself even more.” and with that, she leaves— her words lingering in your mind

you enter the restaurant again, feeling 10x shittier than you were when you left to take that quick phone call

you’re aware that your mother would support any relationship you were in, but you could tell that she didn’t like denki— but accepted him because ‘whatever makes you happy’

it was a downer, you didn’t need this today— and your sudden mood change was bound to get noticed by your boyfriend

“what happened?” he asks with concern, “did bakugou rain on your parade?” he asks, and you would’ve laughed but,, you honestly couldn’t find yourself to

“oh, it’s just..” you struggle to find yourself finishing your sentence, when the employees of the restaurant start singing you a happy birthday

you’d hate to say it but,, your mood was like that for the entire date, even when you brushed it off like nothing— and acted as if nothing went wrong

and when you flop onto your bed, eyes welling up in tears— he panics

“oh no, no, no!” he panics, dropping down to comfort you “baby what’s wrong? did you not enjoy today?”

“denki, i enjoyed today, of course.” you state, hands wandering up to pet his blond hair

“but then, why,, are you crying right now? i don’t want you to feel sad today! i know i’m not someone that looks serious, but i’ll definitely make things work!” he states with determination, and denki finds relief when he hears you laugh

“i saw my mom today”

“oh,” his brows furrowed, “i’m sorry, sweets. did she say anything rude?”

“oh uhm, im not sure if she meant it but it did hurt my feelings,” you simply state, not wanting to give the specifics, “plus with the best friend thing,,”

he’s silent for a bit, before he speaks “you know what? it’s okay. it’ll be okay. your best friend- not sure why she’s like that, but she’ll come around. and with your mom? don’t worry, and don’t let it worry you! it’s your special day, and you will feel special.”

denki backs away, and before you knew it, sparks radiate from all around his body— making sure he doesn’t touch you at all

“yaaaay!” he’s drowsy, and he dumbly raises his thumb high— which makes you burst out into giggles and pure laughter

“denkii, you cannot keep doing this!” you exclaim, but you still laugh when he replies with the same comedic ‘yaaay!’

you finally calm down, and you lean to press a kiss onto his lips, “thank you, denki. i,, really appreciate your efforts.”

he might feel stupid at the moment, but he’s glad that you’re happy again.

kirishima eijirou

looks like his usual self, but he’s internally panicking— he just figured that he needed to get himself together, for you

he had an idea on what he was going to do for you on your birthday, he even prepared a gift for you— 3 weeks in advanced (with the help of bakugou, his secret wingman)

it wasn’t an impromptu celebration like kaminari, but it also wasn’t super planned out like midoriya

eager, he approaches your room to give you a simple happy birthday— followed by a small shower of kisses

there was only one class for that day, so the rest of the day would’ve been lenient, right? wrong

on the contrary, his plans are disrupted when he sees you scrambled on the floor, notebooks splayed across you, as you memorized various things all at once

“h-hey, happy birthday!” he greets with his usual smile, and it falters slightly when you don’t showcase that delightful smile

“hey eijirou,” you say, eyes glued onto a section of your notebook “apparently, two extra topics were added into the math and physics finals test! and i had no clue!”

eijirou probably should be worried like you, since the written finals exams does somewhat impact his grade— and on top of that, the finals are in 3 days

and he knows that he should let you prepare BUT! it is your birthday,, why should he not celebrate your birthday?

“i feel like you shouldn’t be too worried about it babe, it’s your birthday after all!” he reassures, but he continues before you get to question him “you’re a hard working person, and even if you don’t absorb those extra topics— you could always run to bakugou, or yaoyorozu for a quick run down!”

he’s not wrong

you give a tired smile, a genuine one— which makes him silently cheer out of success “thank you, eijirou. i guess you’re right. it is my birthday, and i should be celebrating.”

and with that, eijirou takes you out for a simple celebration! he’d take you out for some food at a good restaurant, and then he’d take you out on a nice walk— as the both of you ate your dessert

he thinks that the celebration is going smoothly, despite the fact that you seemed fatigued, restless even— just from studying four extra topics back and fourth

otherwise— you seemed happy, eagerly blowing out the candles on the birthday cake the restaurant presented to you, and even grasping his arm closer as you ate your dessert

but it all crumbled down when you got one simple call that afternoon

looking at the caller’s id, it was your mother— who, otherwise would’ve been happy or at least calm on the other side of that phone, but you were greeted with hostility

“what are you doing?” she chides with a brash tone, and you try not to shiver, and when you answered that you were out celebrating with eijirou, she wasn’t pleased

“what?! just because it’s your damn birthday, doesn’t mean you get to relax around, kay? exams are this week! and you’re aware of what’s going to happen if you don’t pass, right?” though she’s not physically there, you can feel her sudden criticism

“..yes, mom.” you decide to take it all in, not wanting to anger her

“good.” and with that, she hangs up without a proper goodbye, the only time she acknowledged the current date was when she was scolding you

you brush it off, when you’re asked if you’re okay— the blatant yelling from your phone being difficult to ignore.

while the two of you start heading back to the dorms, you’re informed of quite the terrible news

“class 1-a, i must apologize since this is abrupt, but your math and physics finals are set to a day in advance, due to an urgent faculty meeting. but we can all assume that all of you have studied the material, right? take care, and don’t be out past curfew.”

this pushes your stress levels over the roof, and you ended up running back to the dorms— just to study the unfamiliar material

being your concerned boyfriend, the red head goes to check on you— only to be saddened to see you in such a distraught state on your bed, tears running down your face as you examined the material through watery eyes

“hey, sweetheart, it’s okay.. it’ll be okay,, i’m sorry that you feel this way, especially since i promised you a good day today!” despite displaying a gentle smile, you could sense that he was feeling terrible too

“don’t apologize,” you wipe your eyes, which only continue to generate more tears “i know you’ve tried, really! and i’m sorry that i had to bring you along. you definitely didn’t need to see all of that.”

he sits next to you on your bed, pulling the covers over your legs “i know it’s just,, i wish i could’ve done something more, y’know? i would’ve helped you study but you know that i’m well,, me!”

you giggle at his insinuation, and he moves closer to you, head leaning on your shoulder “man, i wish i knew what was going through the teachers’ heads. i could’ve— oh wait!”

he springs up, as if he suddenly remembered something important, and he sprints to his room

when eijirou comes back, he’s holding a tiny box, that has a bow— placed neatly on the center of the lid

“open it, babe!” he smiles, “i can’t believe i almost forgot! oh— just open your present!”

and when you open it, you’re ecstatic— unsure how to describe the sudden surge of happiness. “eijirou, you bought me a,, promise ring?”

he kisses your cheek briefly, unable to hide the blush adorning his cheeks “yeah,, you don’t have to accept if you’re not into jewelry! i could just switch it out for something—”

“no no, stop kiri!” you stop him in his tracks “i love it, so much. thank you for everything. especially for cheering the stressed and gloomy person i was today.”

he smiles, “it’s no issue, really. if my Y/N’s happy then i’ll be just as happy.”

and with that, you spent the rest of the day in eijirou’s affectionate arms— and you passed the exams with flying colors because kiri managed to get bakugou to give you a quick run through the day before

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

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bookofmirth · 3 years

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i adored this book - i devoured it in one sitting and then began again, however there are so many people on here critising it and straight up hating nesta and her story... and now im starting to think I missed something. can you write about some of the things you loved ? i feel like tumblr can be toxic at times and it’s so frustrating to see people focus on the bad and get angry because nestas story isn’t perhaps what they envisioned, idk it’s just really disheartening and it’s making me second guess myself and see the book in a different light. I don’t know tumblr has always been like this or wether it’s just this series but people are so negative. I remember first creating my account in 2014 and being apart of the Harry Potter and Percy Jackson fandom and it was just brilliant !! It was such a joy to be apart of and create content for. You can critique without bashing completely on the story.

Okay here are some things I loved! I have a lot more I’m sure, but I have 163 highlights in this book and I am merely one fan.

PS I’m pretty sure people are just always like this, but we can try to change the conversation if we want. I’m just glad I’m not in the Star Wars fandom 😅

Obviously, Gwyn. Gwyn and Nesta and Emerie. MAGIC FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS. For me, it wasn’t just the fact that Nesta finally has real friends and we got some cute girl time, it’s that she finally has people she can go to and be herself with. Her family has so much emotional baggage; she will always love her sisters, but they may never be friends like she is with Gwyn and Emerie.

Getting insight into Nesta’s thought process. I don’t know if we’ve gotten into the head of another sjm character quite like this. I think it was absolutely necessary.

That was some hot sex.

We finally didn’t have to see High Lord Rhys being perfect all the time. For me, that was a plus.

Nesta’s journey down the staircase. I 1000% knew that at some point she would make it down those 10k stairs, and that when she did she would want to go right back up. It was such a freeing moment of knowing exactly where she belonged.

Nesta realizes that she can, and likely will, find herself at the bottom of depression and anxiety again. But now, she knows that she will be able to find her way out.

Memerie (Mor/Emerie)

Freaking Gwyn as a character, I want to be her friend!

Nesta making those weapons and then being like *shrug hands them back to Rhys* like WHAT, she has no desire to even pretend she wants to be like a preening high lord. The ultimate fucking power move.

Valkyries! I love that Nesta & Co. carved their own power out of their situation. I think that was really important and nicely done because being kickass is great and all, but if it’s based on someone else’s rules or someone else’s concept of what’s good? No thanks, don’t need it.

Keep reaching out your hand.... okay this is so, so important. This phrase or a variation thereof was repeated several times throughout the book, and it was used really well. It’s what Feyre tried to do for Nesta, what Cassian tried to do, and Amren. And just about everyone around her. And Nesta kept slapping their hands away. Then Nesta had to experience that for herself - extending her hand to the priestesses and dealing with the disappointment that the people she wanted to extend a hand to, didn’t want to take it. She was able to understand what her family and friends had gone through by proxy, and to understand how important, how valuable, it is when someone keeps their hand outstretched anyway.

There were some scenes in there that were devastating in the best way. Every time Nesta heard her father’s last words. What we learned about her mother. The moment she realized that her mother had never loved her the way Feyre loves Nyx. Absolutely gutted me.

Nesta realizing that she is loved.

Nesta’s snark sometimes, “I don’t want to hear about Feyre and her special journey” lmao.

Oh wait EDIT! I forgot to mention that there are really positive parts of this fandom. I promise. I am trying really really hard to promote those bits, because yeah, we can enjoy something while seeing its flaws. I was thinking earlier today, in between classes, about sjm as a cheeto - I can eat the cheeto and know that it's not good for me, but it tastes good and I will eat the whole bag. And I will not feel bad about that.

#acosf #acosf spoilers #spoilers #a court of silver flames #a court of silver flames spoilers #nesta #did I even mention nessian #whoops no #guess that's for another post #acotar #ask #anon

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carpathxanridge · 2 years

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Hallo. This is kinda weird, I suppose. I'm a gnc lesbiam (bio female) but I tend to lean more conservative or at least traditionally liberal. I feel a bit lost in all this. In my head, gender isn't a real thing. It's just a concept to keep women and guys subdued. Simultaneously, I do have certain ideas about government and personal independence. What's difficult is at at the end of the day, idk where I fit. I don't fit with the conservative crowd and I don't fit with radfems. (1/2)

…I want to fit, you understand. I have tried to ignore my beliefs to fit into this libfem ideology, and then I try to fit into this radfem ideology, but I just don't fit anywhere. I don't know how to find a place to belong without sacrificing a piece of myself. Occasionally, I'll connect with conservative LGBs, but they still hold tight to their ideas of "gender." Its just so...disheartening for me. Im.just a bit tired of feeling alone (2/2) Im so sorry to be a whiny little child about this but I've just come off a hunting trip and all the participants were male and they said things like, "I wish me wife were like you." And after a week of this I snapped and said, "That's bullshit, mate. You want your girl bare foot and pregnant like every other arsehole on this trip." I hate these fucking men. Sorry. I'm just drunk and struggling today. I fucking hate men. I guess...I just feel like there's this idea that conservative gender crits aren't "valid." But regardless of our emotions and our political leanings, we should be able to look at "gender" and say, "This is obviously a tool of oppression."

hey! i don’t know if i can give very good advice, but im glad you sent me this. sorry to hear about the hunting trip, i think id die being around those men. i do wonder what you mean when you say you’re conservative leaning, especially when you mentioned “personal independence.” if you mean that you lean libertarian, then i’ll say i know a few other radfems who are libertarian-leaning, to varying degrees of left or center-leaning when it comes to economic beliefs. (i myself skew very leftist but find myself valuing self-sufficiency and the protection of civil liberties more and more recently.) it does seem to me that you’re truly gender critical and not just transgender critical as a lot of conservatives are, in which case i think you can find community among rad-leaning women if you want to. even if you cant find perfectly likeminded women to you, what you need are just good, decent people who approach disagreement with the desire to understand each other. (not often found online)

so it’s fine if you’re not a radfem, although i will say radical feminism is more a lens of analysis (that guides liberatory action) than it is a rigid belief system. it is a leftist ideology, yes, but i think it’s possible to draw and learn from it while analyzing or disagreeing with other aspects, if you want to clarify your beliefs. but if what you really want is to just find other gay people and other women who understand you, you don’t have to fit any group if you’re willing to be challenged sometimes. i might focus on just befriending more gnc lesbians. although i cant give much advice at making those connections since im so bad at it myself. feel free to message me if you want to talk

#response

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sajdd · 2 years

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Oomph yeah :/ I used to draw almost constantly, and then I got access to the internet and wanted to draw more complex stuff, but it never came out quite right and left me quite disheartened. (That and I have the fuckn shakiest hands when I do digital stuff, what the Fuck)

I don't know what you've tried, but in case you haven't already you could try having a look at some reference poses or tutorials on yt in a style you like, and give them a bit of a practice - perspective, hands and proper shading especially, as they're a huge sticking point for artists and getting them right can make things look miles better. (Main thing here is very few artists are islands - most people practice and use other refs until they've got a form they're happy with. I say this as sometimes people feel like they aren't good enough if they aren't working things out by themselves as they go, which isn't true at all and it's important to know that.)

If you've tried refs yourself and they aren't working, then honestly it's good to ask for help from friends as well. As said before, very few artists are islands - you're like most of us lol

i mean yeah,,, i do use a lot of references most of the time but there usually arent references for the Actual thign i want to do so i alwya shave to do smth different,,,, and even then i sometime sstruggle and just,,,,,,,,, its like no matter how well i know what i want to do, my hand cant do it, an dim just like mmmm

i mean ive tried looking at artists and stuff but idk it doesnt rlly help that much,,,,,, i mean i guess i need to spend more time on it

my biggest issue really is the lack of motivation to do anythign.. or rather executive dysfunction lol

bc,,,,, usually when i finally get round to drawing its been a while and so im out of practice and just bleughugf i dont know

i was also just having a Breakdown Moment im feeling a bit better now,,,, i guess ill just try to stick through it and maybe try to form an actual plan for what to do,,,, idk im just so mad ive wasted so much tiem and everytime i try to draw smth it just makes me feel bad and just,,,,,,,, yeah,, but thanks,,

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apocalypticgargoyle · 3 years

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Hello everyone! (This is kind of long and Im so sorry for that. It's also super late for me too so I apologize if there are a bunch of errors.)

I've come back to numerous asks ranging from intense messages to helpful content.

Instead of posting all 46, I figured I would sum up the majority for all of you with my reactions:

- many of you have been rather uplifting and I appreciate your support, that being said I do not view anything that has been said as hate. everything that has been brought up I am using as insight, advice, and genuine reactions, but thank you to everyone for defending me

- some of you have discussed how I have never answered you, something which I am deeply sorry for and I promise you was not intentional. that being said, if your anon requests were attached to a fic request, more than likely I still have your ask but haven't answered because I plan on fulfilling the request. your anon should still be listed in the anon list (you can find the link on my masterlist and if you still don't see it, PLEASE let me know)

- a lot of you have expressed discomfort with some of my content. im very sorry for this, and (respectfully) I would like to remind everyone that I intentionally tag all of my content in such a way that those tags can be blogged. im very very sorry if you are still seeing things you don't want to see, please let me know if I need to incorporate another tag for other content

- some of you have called me a hypocrite and a gaslighter. im not sure how to respond to this because I guess I can't wrap my brain completely around this and that's my problem that I need to work on. im so sorry if I've been gatekeeping content or if I have been blocking some anons from each other. im sorry if I have been inserting myself into other people's problems. im so sorry if I have made anyone feel invaluable or underappreciated

Moving forward I would like to say that I'm so sorry about all of this. I had a lot of time to think on my shift and part of me wanted to tell everyone that I have a life too and I'm only human. But the rest of me realized that I am your admin and I need to work harder and do better for all of you. I set out to create this blog as a type of haven for everyone, somewhere where people could share their thoughts, ideas, personalities, etc and in the process I've only become another one of those blogs and I am so very sorry.

I really appreciate all of you who came forward to tell me how you were feeling. It takes a lot of courage to do that and if I were in your shoes, I don't think I could. So I commend you and I appreciate everything you all have said. I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't.

This is the first time I've ever had a blog this big and with so many amazing people. I've never had this kind of feedback and this kind of attention from anyone and I really appreciate all of you and everything you guys have done for this blog.

If I'm being honest, it's kind of disheartening to hear that so many of you have felt left out. It's also kind of disheartening because a lot of you don't even want me to interact anymore so I don't know where that leaves this blog.

Moving forward, I'm going to do what I can to be more inclusive and allow more interactions between anons. Please don't feel the need to include me anymore if you are just here for a certain anon it etc /gen. I-- at the risk of sound like a narcissist, I will still interact when content is directed to me, only because I think I deserve that? At the end of the day, I did make this for my friend and through that process I've made more friends so... If it's okay I would still like to participate sometimes... /lh

Please continue to tell me how you feel and how I can do better. Please tell me about yourself and about what you're into. Tell me anything at all. I will listen to you.

Today has kind of been overwhelming with all of this, and I'm sorry if I'm making this all about me but I feel... kind of gross and I think I need to step back for a bit. This is not because of the anons telling me how they are feeling, this is mainly about those targeting my appearance and my personality and told me that I can't use my blog the way I wanted. I just have a lot to think about and idk. I'm really sorry.

But thank you to the people who have supported me and those who have spoken up. I appreciate all of you and all of you are valid.

Please take care of yourselves everyone, I love you all and I wish you a good night's rest/a great day.

xx Grayce/Gene

#sorry this is a lot to read and is kind of annoying

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vanillatalc · 3 years

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this week -

1. ive been doing a LOT better - that’s one of the good things about my madness - i go down very quickly but also rebound pretty fast. i think the one thing that bothers me is the memory of when things were bad for like a good year, and there was no rebounding, just a slow crawl out of the worst of it. HOWEVER - I haven’t been like long-term non-functional in literally like 10y and i think it’s probably a mistake to worry so much about the possibility of the next breadown being The Next Big One bc i think my life is so different now to when it was back then that it’s unlikely to become quite so bad anyway

2. not having a wall is really bothering me tho. one of my long-term obsessive thoughts is about the cat’s safety - i get very obsessive about the idea that she might somehow get trapped outside, which even when we had a garden wall to separate her from the road was a problem, so now w/o the wall it’s 10x worse lol. no idea when it’ll be fixed and she’ll be able to go outside again - the builder has to do another project first so we’re in limbo until then. i get very fixated on the idea that ben or ana will accidentally let her out and not notice and she’ll be cold / attacked by another cat / attacked by a fox :((( which is another facet of my obsessions tbh like this lack of ability to trust anyone apart from myself, like i have this really overinflated idea of my own responsibility / ability to keep the house safe (hence going around at night and unplugging everything, checking the front door, staring at my hair straighteners for about 10m, the usual) and like i wish i could just fucking stop bc i know ana and ben also love the cat and also like have brains?? and like keeping a cat inside is not rocket science! (+ hopefully even if she did get outside it would not end up in her death lol)

3. ben (kindly) told me that he finds it disheartening that it becomes an Issue every time we have to go and see his family, and that whilst he understands it’s not personal, it still feels bad. which is fair... i apologised about it bc i mean he is right + also he comes and sees my family w/ literally no complaint at all so yeah :/ having said this im a bit fuckin nervous about it now for imo legitimate reasons (i have accepted we’re going + that my problems dont constitute a reason to complain about seeing his family and am planning on being much less whiny about this in future) about this new fucking variant and like 10 mask-free people in one room hanging out, at least half of whom are in public-facing jobs. this is the first time since-covid so many of us would have been in a room - we’ve seen barely anyone since it all kicked off. the timing is bad. i know ben agrees w/ me about the concern bc he’s not an idiot, and he asked them on the GC last night if they can all test beforehand, but only one person responded so far and im a bit like :/ i feel uncomfortable about it bc i feel that after my complaints it definitely seems as tho im just trying to find reasons to not go. if they all test up beforehand im happy to go, but im a bit worried that a lot of them have not confirmed that they will, and idk, ill ask him what he thinks about that. bc his brother works in a shop, his mum works as a teacher, this new variant is supposed to be better at getting past vaccines? so im a bit like oooof this ... not great ... i feel like it’s reasonable to only go to a medium scale get-together if everyone tests neg beforehand? what do you guys think? but i dunno i guess at some point you also have to just do stuff... like you can’t entirely live under the shadow of stuff that might happen, including covid, and this is coming from someone who’s been INCREDIBLY careful the entire time

4. i have struggled w/ getting back to my wig work - im gonna start working properly again today bc im actually so behind. my site job also MAY be coming to an end in april - we will all have to reapply for the payment, and i don’t know, they may well feel it’s fairer to give someone a shot who hasn’t been paid for an entire year by that point. which i DO think is fair, and i would understand it, but i would have to take a MASSIVE step back from the site, and it feels kinda grim if they essentially fire their One Woman, given that ive done everything asked of me and am always well-ranked in the monthly numbers. i will probably make this clear in the reapplication - that i will not be around if there is no money. not bc i don’t care but bc i do not have the time. couple of things are working in my favour tho in that ive already proven myself to be a good member of the team + also that im one of the most highly-ranked people there in terms of permissions, so i can do everything rather than some more lowly-ranked people who can only do a few things. also you know. i feel like they would be aware of how bad it would look to let their one woman go honestly? bc they handwring a lot about the woman situation, so im curious how this will play out, bc to me it seems blindingly obvious that a lack of access to resources is one of the main reasons why more women dont hang out there. so im curious if they are gonna actually apply that logic and keep paying me.

#btw since that dude got fired ive been feeling more able to work there again #it's amazing how one guy's presence/absence can be so powerful

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