#i've had like. mini fixations where i think about it for a week or two. doodle a couple characters here and there

[theteapotofdoom]

If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Oh, anon you have NO IDEA how happy this ask makes me, because there's probably nothing I love more on this earth than talking about the things I like!!! Nothing brings me more serotonin than sharing my favourite stories with other people!!! Let's go!!!

It's also a hard question because I just ... like things very easily. I have my favourites for sure, but there are A LOT of stories that I love and that made me who I am today. I also tend to hyper-fixate a lot so I will be completely obsessed with a piece of media for a few months and then it will go dormant for a year and then it comes back and so on ...

So with this list, I'm trying to narrow it down to the big ones, the stories that I return to the most and that had a real impact on me. It's also very hard for me to mix all the media together because I don't necessarily expect the same thing from an anime as from a movie so it's hard for me to compare them. But I'll do my best!

The list is under the cut because I'm gonna ramble a lot about all things and it's gonna be a really long post.

EDIT: Okay so I've been struggling with this list for weeks now because every few days I think of new things that I like and that I want to add to this list ... so to keep it as a top 10 and not a top 100, I've decided to not include any movie in this list, except for franchises (when the story is a continuation told through at least two or three movies). Basically, with this ranking, I focused on long-form stories.

My reasoning is that since I already have a really hard time ranking my favourite movies without including other types of media, it's easier to separate them and make another top ten of my favourite movies later down the line if anyone is interested. (Also not to sound like an insane person, but I feel like I have a completely different set of criteria for liking a stand-alone movie than for liking any other type of media so it's better this way)

1 - The Lord Of The Rings (movie trilogy) - Yes, I said no movies, but this trilogy is a mini-series to me. This one is just so deeply personal to me. I first watched the trilogy on DVD (extended edition) when I was 9 and it just blew my tiny mind and shaped my creativity for so many years. I read the books when I was a little older and I cherish them dearly, but the movies are so much more personal to me. I mean, what can I say that hasn't been said already? Everyone adores this trilogy. Just like many people all over the world, I consider these three movies comfort movies. I've watched them a thousand times and I will watch them I thousand more. No matter where I'm at in my life, I can just put on The Fellowship Of The Rings, The Two Towers or The Return Of The King and I will cry and laugh as if I'm watching them for the first time. Like ... my best friend and I were so obsessed with these movies as kids that we started calling each other Merry and Pippin and we still use the nicknames TO THIS DAY as adults. She is still saved on my phone as Merry and I'm still saved on her phone as Pippin. And it's not just the movies, it's the making of, the behind-the-scenes, the cast, just ... the pure love and optimism and dedication that went into this project ... the sheer honesty of the story ... no dark subversion, no sarcastic wink at the camera ... just love. If you haven't watched these movies yet, treat yourself! Get your hands on the extended edition, and watch it as mini mini-series rather than a proper trilogy of movies. You'll love it!

2 - Fullmetal Alchemist (manga)/Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood (anime) - I'm kind of cheating here by lumping the manga and the anime together but this is a short list so I'm doing the best I can! Again, what can I say that hasn't already been said about FMA? Everyone knows it's great, everyone knows it's the best anime of all time, everyone says it ... AND YET I still feel like it's super underrated. It's not, but I can't help but feel like it is. In my humble opinion, Fullmetal Alchemist is not just the best manga/anime of all time, it's simply the best story of all time. I'm still more emotionally attached to the LOTR trilogy, but FMA is just perfect in my eyes. The themes, the characters, the story ... I had never been so satisfied by a story before and I haven't been since. Every character arc is masterfully handled, and the story doesn't shy away from insanely dark and realistic topics while still maintaining a sense of hope and optimism. The magic system is one of the best I've ever seen. The story is so layered that every time I rewatch it (which is a lot) I notice new details. The world is incredibly rich but the plot always knows how to stay focused on the things that matter and we are never lost. Every single day I'm closer and closer to starting a YouTube channel just to talk about FMA nonstop. Long live Arakawa our queen!

3 - Les Misérables (book and musical) - Okay we're getting a little more specific here. I don't know if this one is surprising or not because if you've been following me for a really long time (like ... six or seven years) then you MUST remember when I was a Les Mis blog. I wasn't creating content or anything, but I was so deeply obsessed with Les Misérabled back then, it was the only thing blogged about for two or three years I'd say. Although I don't talk about it as much these days I still love this story so deeply. I will still cry if I think about Jean Valjean for a little too long, I will go feral if I see Enjoltaire art on my dash, and I will still re-read part of the book and listen to the songs. Basically what happened is: for my 18th birthday, my parents took me to London to see the show on West End, and much like the LOTR trilogy ten years before that, it ROCKED MY WORLD AND BLEW MY MIND! I bought the live recording of the show, did a deep dive into the fandom on Tumblr and I was hooked. I even watched the 2012 movie but we don't talk about it because it wasn't great (except for George Blagden doing THE MOST of all times with the little screen time he was given and carrying the Enjoltaire ship on his back like a king). After that, I read the book and it made me love the story even more. The novel is so rich and deep and such a delight at every turn, I adore it as much as the musical. It probably sounds obvious to a lot of people since Victor Hugo is literally one of the most famous writers in the whole world but like ... the character writing in Les Misérables is beyond anything I've ever seen. I can only ever dream of writing characters as good as these.

4 - My Hero Academia (manga) - Here were are ladies and gentlemen ... the one that everyone was waiting for! I think it's fair to say that MHA is the story that most people associate this blog with. I'm specifically talking about the manga here because although I still have a lot of fondness and affection for the anime (especially the early seasons) I can't help but feel like Studio Bones dropped the ball a few times these past few years (with the way they rearranged the MVA arc, the censorship of some of the most impactful scenes, and the whole Blue Sky debacle). Besides, I wholeheartedly believe that Horikoshi is currently the most talented manga artist in the industry and his illustrations always have ten times more impact than what we get in the anime. Once again, what can I say about MHA that I haven't said already? This blog is just one big essay about MHA and Shigaraki at this point. And yet, my relationship with MHA is a lot more complicated than with the other entries on this list. I don't think that MHA is a perfect story, FAR from it. I think that there are a lot of missed opportunities and wasted developments, and it also suffers from a lot of classic shonen tropes when it comes to some of its female characters. But when it hits? It really really REALLY fucking hits. When MHA is at its worst it's just kind of mid, but when it's at its best, it's just transcendant! The MVA arc, the AFO/All Might fight, the Deku retrieval arc ... it has so many iconic moments that I will think about for years. And of course, the man, the myth, the legend: Shigaraki Motherfucking Tomura. Best fucking character of all time, a success in every single way, a tragic figure, a threatening villain, a likeable antihero to root for, a chaotic gremlin and a sexy babygirl ... the man can do it all. No matter how MHA ends, I will always be grateful for Shigaraki (and for many other great characters like Deku, All Might, Iida, Toga, Ochako and so on). MHA was also the first fandom I ever created content for and it deadass changed the trajectory of my life. So yeah :)

5 - LOST (tv show) - I feel like almost everyone on Tumblr has a special attachment to an early 2000's live-action TV show with hundreds of episodes ... LOST is mine! As I'm writing this list, I'm realising that I have a similar relationship with LOST than with MHA: I don't think that LOST is a perfect show, it dropped the ball a few times and I understand a lot of the criticism against it ... but when LOST hits IT REALLY FUCKING HITS so I will always defend it. And just like MHA, LOST has a lot of detractors who never properly watched the show and throw a lot of bad-faith criticisms at it. Like I said, I fully admit that the show has problems, but some of the complaints I hear sometimes are just ... straight up not true and very easy to debunk. This show can be messy at times, but if you get into it, it will literally stay with you forever. The plot has issues but the character writing is pretty fucking stellar 99% of the time, I can definitely nitpick about some things, but it's honestly absurd how compelling everyone in the cast is. Pretty much everyone in the main cast (of like ... 15 people!) can be your favourite character and I wouldn't be surprised. At its core, LOST is just a very human show. The story of a group of strangers forced to live together on an island after a plane crash, forming relationships, overcoming their past traumas, and slowly being wrapped in a plot that's bigger than all of them. I go crazy if I think about it for too long. One day I will make a video essay about LOST and you will all see.

6 - Les Légendaires (comics) - Are you all ready for some niche content??? Honestly, I don't even know how to properly get into this one because I highly doubt that anyone reading this even knows what Les Légendaires is (except if you're French). Les Légendaires is kind of a funny story because pretty much unknown all around the world, but it is absolutely HUGE in France, probably one of the popular young adult comic series of all time. The series has been ongoing for 20 years and has sold millions of copies. Like, I cannot stress it enough, it's an absolute juggernaut with many spin-offs and sequels and a large fanbase. From age 11 to 16 I was OBSESSED with it. It's your classical fantasy story with a group of adventurers going on many different quests and forming bonds and relationships and fighting evil, but it's so perfectly executed, that it's kind of insane. The author is very open about taking inspiration from many stories (mostly mangas and animes) that he grew up with, so it's a wonderful mix of many different styles and genres of fantasy. The five main characters all start as classical fantasy tropes, but every single one of them is developed and challenged throughout the story. Everyone gets just enough focus and attention to be a main character in its own right. Just like with LOST, every single one could be your favourite character and I wouldn't be surprised! The series also did a wonderful job growing up with its audience, the first four volumes are more whimsical and child-friendly, but the series gets darker and more mature through the years (all the way up to the "Cycle d'Anathos" arc which is SO BRUTAL but also one of favourite story arc in a comics/manga ever, it's a masterclass). I kind of grew out of it now (mostly because the main story is over and we are now in spin-offs and sequels territory) but I still casually keep up with the evolution of the story from afar. Looking back on it, it definitely has a lot of flaws that I ignored when I was a teen, but I cannot understate the impact that it had on me growing up. I'm still very fond of it!

7 - Critical Role Campaign 2 (D&D podcast) - Honestly, I didn't think I would bring up CR in this list, but as kept thinking about the stories that had a real lasting impact on me ... The Mighty Nein saga just kept popping up in my head again and again. So here they are :) Critical Role was such a surprise for me, something that I never expected to impact me the way it did. I had heard of it, I knew what it was and that it was popular ... but when I watched the first episode of campaign 2 on a whim one afternoon (mistaking it for the first episode of campaign one, but the best mistake of my life honestly) I was just IMMEDIATELY sold and into it. I fell hard and fast for this group of chaotic friends. It's hard to compare CR2 to the other entries on this list because it's a story but also it's a D&D game with a lot of improv and impulsive player decisions, so it feels weird to compare it with like ... a fully produced anime or TV show. It's hours and hours of content, and I don't adore all of it, to be honest. But the characters? GOD the characters!!! The dynamics!!! The relationships! The developments!!! The appeal of this very very very long format is that you truly get to see the main characters evolving in a way that feels more organic than anything I've ever seen. I will think about the relationship between Caleb and Beau FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE and it's only one facet of everything that this campaign has in store. I've tried getting into Campaign 1 but it just doesn't hit the same for me (although I do love the animated series!!). Campaign 3 is also great, probably my second favourite so far, but the characters of campaign 2 all hit perfectly for me. CR2 had a HUGE impact on the way I think about characters whenever I'm writing these days and I will always be grateful for that.

8 - A Series Of Unfortunate Events (book series) - This book series will always have a special place in my heart, even if I don't talk about it as much these days. When I was a child, A Bad Begining was the first novel that I read on my own from beginning to end. No one else in my family was reading it, it was something that was my own special interest. To this day I still remember how engrossed I was in the mystery behind these books, with the secrets behind Lemony Snicket, Beatrice, VFD, The Great Unknown, and the Bombinating Beast ... it was just so thrilling to follow the Baudelaires in each new adventure while slowing realising that there was an even bigger mystery behind everything happening to them. I honestly believe that these books don't get enough credit as mystery novels for kids, each volume is its own stand-alone story with its own setting and colourful characters, while also giving the reader a new piece of the bigger puzzle. The tone was also so unique, it was funny and thrilling, but also creepy, unsettling and profoundly sad most of the time. Even beyond the terrible things that happened to the Baudelaires, there was also a deep feeling of nostalgia and melancholy in the narration and it made the reading experience unique. And of course, the playful writing style is so memorable! A full page with just the word "never", the deep black pages when it's dark all around, and sentences written twice when we're told that Klaus is so tired that he just read the same sentence twice. I loved these books as a kid and I still love them as an adult, their creativity of style and unique world-building inspire me to this day.

9 - Undertale (video game) - You know, even with all the crazy memes and fandom drama and AUs that came with it ... Undertale is such a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful story. I vividly remember every single thing I felt when I experienced it for the first time (I'm kind of cheating here because I didn't play the game first, I watched the Jacksepticeye let's play in almost one sitting, cried my eyes out, and went to buy the game and play it after that). It's such a unique yet universal story, so charming, so clever and so moving. The way it uses the most basic game mechanics as a narrative tool is honestly inspiring. It's the story that confirmed to me that, narratively, choosing kindness and compassion over violence will (almost) always be much more satisfying and compelling to me as a resolution. Like ... that scene at the end of the neutral ending when you defeat Flowey and you're given the choice to kill him or spare him? When Flowey practically begs you to kill him because he simply doesn't understand how you could possibly not do it? When you are given this choice at least five times in a row because Flowey DESPERATELY needs you to confirm his idea that in this world it's "kill or be killed"? When he just says "I don't understand" again and again when you keep sparing him? That shit is engraved in me forever. This is part of my identity. And I'm not even gonna get into the absolute masterclass that is the final fight of the Good Ending when you get to save Asriel and your friends because I will cry. Love that funky little game. Love my best boy Papyrus.

10 - Night In The Woods (video game) / Bojack Horseman (TV show) - YES I KNOW I'M CHEATING! But listen, I told myself that I would only do a top-ten and I deadass could not choose between the two, so here we are. I also figured that it would be a good duo to end on because NITW and BH actually have a lot of similarities. Depressed cartoon animals desperately trying to become better people while also hurting all their close friends ... yeah. Beyond that, NITW and BH are also very different stories with different tones, different mediums and different themes of course. NITW is a 9 hours indie game and BH is a six-season Netflix show (with therefore a lot more time to explore the issues it chooses to deal with). But both of these stories have had an incredible impact on me. And another thing that they have in common is that ... well, it's still hard for me to properly explain why they mean so much to me. I mean, it's kind of obvious in a way! These are stories about trauma, grief, depression, addiction, loneliness, growing up, moving on ... things everyone deals with at some point in their life. These two stories are acclaimed and beloved by a lot of people and I'm just one of them. As I said, I can't properly explain in what way I relate to these stories, but it's here and it's with me forever.

HERE WE ARE WE DID IT! God, there were so many other things I wanted to talk about ... Shinsekai Yori, Watchmen, Mystic River, Sherlock Holmes (the novels thank you very much), all of the Hercule Poirot stories ... and of course all the many movies that I wanted to talk about.

If you read this post all the way through, you are braver than the Marines, but also: what are your favorite stories? Feel free to share your preferences as well! :D

#time to tag all these fandoms!!!! #the lord of the rings #fullmetal alchemist #les misérables #my hero academia #lost #les légendaires #critical role #a series of unfortunate events #undertale #night in the woods #bojack horseman #i'm only doing one tag per fandom or i will go crazy

[aromanticbuck]

I always want to hear what you have to say! Please tell me more-after your coffee, as I know life without coffee is an arduous thing, lol

The only part of this that is a genuine prediction is that we're getting Sergeant Jay in season 10. I'm calling it right now. I feel like that's what they set up for him in the finale last night, and I'm fully on board with it I've been wanting this since season 6 (which, for me, was admittedly like... September, but my point still stands).

Everything below the cut is how I want them to get him to that point, split into two mini-arcs to mark a split in the front and back half formula that they did with season 9 I'm sure they've done it before, but I binged 6 seasons in two weeks so it's all very blurry

I'm sorry, it's long, and discusses some of the themes of the last couple episodes of season 9 + the finale last night, so proceed with caution if you're avoiding spoilers 💜

disclaimer: below includes my desires for the futures of Jay and Voight only because that is the thing that my brain decided to fixate on this morning. I don't have any elaborate thoughts about anyone else's potential storylines yet, and they are mentioned very sparingly in this essay babble

FOR THE FIRST MINI-ARC:

Where we're at with Jay and Voight's relationship right now, after that finale, it's this very clear dynamic of Jay trying to save Voight from himself and constantly being held at arm's length and having some of those efforts completely shot down. Hailey even called him out on it. And I think there's an obvious next phase to this.

Someone on my dash this morning (it was ~5 hours ago now and I don't remember who it was, I'm sorry) commented that there is this cycle - Jay is trying to save Voight from himself, and sometimes it works and sometimes he doesn't. And every single time, Voight turns around and does something self destructive again anyway. And it's not fair to Jay. He's putting in all this effort and giving all this support and help to someone who isn't going to change. It's this cycle that's not going to stop just because he keeps putting his own career and relationships on the line for Voight.

And I think Jay needs to realize that.

The first half of my dream storyline for this dynamic is for Jay to keep trying, to keep saving Voight, too keep watching his ass because he's Jay. He'll be loyal until it kills him. He believes, with very few exceptions, that anyone can be saved. And I want, so badly, for that to be tested. I want Jay to reach his limit. I want him to keep giving so much only for there to be no marked improvement and to finally hit this wall of "fuck it, I'm done."

I think, in order to be a good leader and eventually go on to lead Intelligence the way it deserves to be led, his view of Voight, the image of a leader he's had in his head for a decade now, has to be completely turned upside down. He needs to reach his breaking point with Voight. He's given so much leeway, watched the one thing he asked for (being included and pulled in when it comes to these things so that he can help) be ignored as soon as that kind of situation actually came up again. And Jay needs to take a step back from idolizing Voight and looking up to him and realize that if that's how he's treating Jay and Hailey, people who know the whole story and Jay especially, who is specifically offering help through this entire felony mess, then he's treating the rest of the team even worse, and that needs to be fixed.

(as an aside, Jay's speech to Voight about how he's offering help but he needs to know everything in order to give it had huge "tell me the truth so I can lie for you" energy, and I think that says a lot about how he's grown even just this season. he's so close to being ready to step up and lead, he just has that last little bit of progress and growth to get there)

anyway, my ideal mid-season 10 finale would involve that kind of coming to a head. Jay giving his all to keep pulling Voight back from the edge, and kind of... burning out? His mid-season cliffhanger, for me, would be this moment of realizing he can't change someone who doesn't want to change, and he can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, no matter how hard he tries. So he makes this decision to step back and save himself instead.

FOR THE SECOND MINI-ARC:

The first half of this storyline is very Jay-centric, because I feel like it would need to be. Voight is still very heavily involved in everything above, because it is also, in essence, about him. He's that catalyst for Jay realizing some inherent truths of the universe, and the first half would be kind of Jay's development, whereas the second half would be more Voight's development, or lack thereof (with more background Jay happenings, even if he's not front and center for this part of it).

Because we've seen, since season 1, how much people within the CPD want Voight out. Internal affairs has been trying for a decade to get him out of his position of power by going to anyone and everyone within the unit, at some point in time, and trying to get them to snitch on some of the things that Voight does, if not do surveillance to catch him in the act. We saw it with Antonio in season 1, and then the FBI even tried it with Hailey this season. But he has always had someone watching his back, or they changed their mind at the last minute because they respect and trust him and know he has (mostly) good intentions for the city.

Having the entire team behind him through all of that, again, for a decade, covering up less than above board kills, sneaky shit, threatening suspects, all of these things that he absolutely should not be allowed to do, has saved Voight more times than he or I can count. Olinsky died to cover up his actions instead of letting Voight himself face the consequences. And we saw in the finale last night that Jay would probably do the same thing. Jay is still right there, ready to do whatever it takes to help, even to the detriment of his own self.

But if that arc above happens? If Jay realizes that no one is actually gaining anything by him exhausting himself over and over again to cover Voight's ass? Then his biggest supporter he had is no longer in his corner. Hailey's already prepared to step back and let Voight face some consequences, and she would absolutely double down on that opinion if Jay recognized what he was putting himself through and just stopped trying. And the poetry of it is that it would be Voight's own fault.

Voight loses that support and help and loyalty that Jay's been offering him for years, and then he has almost no one on his side. Everyone will know well ahead of this point that he was going to cover for Anna killing Escano (my opinion on that is "good for her" and I don't have further thoughts), and that split between Voight and the entire team would be his downfall.

By holding Jay at arm's length and rejecting that help to the point that Jay Halstead of all people gives up on him, he loses all of the support that's kept him alive and employed for the last nine years. And of course he still hasn't changed, because Jay was never going to be able to save him, and eventually all of those reckless decisions are going to catch up with him. That is the consequence of his actions. He loses his entire team. He loses everything he refuses to admit that he needs.

And then it's not internal affairs or the FBI or anyone else investigating and getting information from the team. They wouldn't need to. The thing that would remove Voight from his position of power within Intelligence would be his own mistakes. He made his bed by pushing everyone away until every single one of them gave up, and now he has to deal with that.

And Jay? Well, he saw it coming. The second he gave up, he knew it was coming. He knew that Hank Voight would be his own demise. So he took the Sergeant's exam before things even got that bad.

#answered #shae tag #lovelymysticmoon #anon #alex says things #jay halstead #hank voight #cpd #chicago pd #one chicago #cpd spoilers #do i think this is exactly how it's gonna happen? no #but do i want it so badly? yes please #s10 wishlist*

[kiyoominous]

starburst matchup 

exchange with @haikyuu-matches​

hello! thanks for doing this with me, i think it's such a cute idea! i hope you don't mind that i've went with a more narrative approach with this matchup, i have never done one in my life D: 

you have been matched with komori motoya! 

falling for you!

komori met you at a community volleyball club. he doesn't visit too often, with the responsibilities of his own high school club, but he likes to play when he can. one particular day, he entered the community centre and saw you in all your 5'6 glory. the last time he came, he didn't see you in the crowd of familiar neighbourhood faces. you stood further towards the back of the hall, fidgeting with your fingers. this image looked all too familiar to komori, the cousin of a particularly standoffish ace. a sympathetic pang in his chest and he walked over to you, smiling as your eyes met his. 

you both traded names and he noticed that you were a little quiet. that was okay, he could talk around that. and he did, asking you questions and trying his hardest to make you feel comfortable. taking glances at your face, he saw the corners of your mouth turn upwards and noted that it was working. 

was it weird that he was enjoying it? 

komori doesn't remember too many things about that day. the volleyball match was fun and he remembered doing a really good receive. the rest of his memories from that day were filled with you. you and your shy smile, you and your dark chocolate eyes, you and your cute jokes. sure, you could've been the same as every other girl he's met in his life but there was something so discernibly about you. something so outstanding that he felt couldn't be matched. he couldn't put his finger on it so he made it his mission to finally put a name to this feeling. 

he found that the second he mentally declared his manhunt to define his thoughts on you, he was seeing you everywhere. he spotted you at the convenience store, he bumped into you at the dog park and he saw you at school. he saw you at school? komori was mildly surprised to see you in the cafeteria of his school, which was your's too. you weren't all too shocked, you knew about him through volleyball monthly but you didn't want to tell him that you did. 

five minutes of conversation and he discovered that you were both in different classes. no wonder why he never saw you around. or perhaps he did but he never took notice of your sleek black hair. he was always accompanying sakusa anyway so he didn't really notice anyone outside of his club or his class. 

somehow, someone mentioned the upcoming exam season. you declared your conflict with standardised testing, he proclaimed his struggle with revising content in return. it became very obvious to komori that his chance to understand you more intently was here; he could ask you to study with him! talk about killing two birds with one stone. you agreed to his plan with a gentle smile and he felt his heart flutter. was it the satisfaction of your agreement or was it something deeper? 

he decided that the answer would come to him later, not now. 

after the much anticipated study session came another one, and another one, and then studying morphed into free time. and then free time morphed into a weekly friday night hangout. unbeknownst to him, one of the beloved friday nights would become a vehicle for his romantic epiphany.  

komori enjoyed this turn of events. as much as he wouldn't admit it out loud, komori realised that he enjoyed your presence too. maybe a little too much. every second he spent with you, he felt his heart racing faster than it ever did after a volleyball match. it didn't help that your accidental touches made it accelerate even more. he didn't think that was even possible. it was impossible to not drink in the sight of you. the glow of your face, your silky dark hair, your gleaming brown eyes. perhaps you might’ve found them boring and painfully average but he thought you were the prettiest person he’d ever had the pleasure of perceiving. 

his fixation on you extended past your outward appearance and dove right within your mind, your heart, your very soul. he loved the sound of your laugh, the noise was melodious to him. he loved your sense of humour, all of those puns and dad jokes were right up his alley. hearing them made his heart flutter even more. he loved your hardworking nature, your love for the rain, the passion you put into everything you adored. 

he loved you. 

komori saw your widening eyes in his vision and suddenly he was brought back to the cold of your living room, back to the dark of the midnight sky, back to where he was sitting right now; next to you on the timber floorboards. the neon light of the television reflected on your pretty face, the movie playing on the screen long forgotten in favour of you. 

the realisation that he said that out loud hit him right in the chest and he felt like he was going to pass out. komori felt the air enter his lungs again when he heard you reciprocate loud and clear. 

you loved him too. 

the relationship dynamic!

you're both the most entertaining pair to be around, the gemini/leo combo makes for a fun relationship. 

the two of you are one of those couples that people want to be around, wishing to stick around to laugh with you and just see you so in love. 

with your mom friend energy and his dad friend energy (which i know he just has), you both become the designated parents amongst your friends. whether its a blessing or a curse, that's up to them to decide. 

the two of you are constantly on the same wavelength. 

it’s never too loud or too quiet with komori, just the right balance of both. 

he loves your sense of humour and thinks you’re one of the funniest people on the planet. it helps that he’s absolutely enamoured by your puns and dad jokes. sometimes he’ll shoot one right back at you just to hear you laugh. 

you both like poking a little fun at each other, giving teasing remarks or sarcastic quips. 

komori cares so much about you. 

he understands your need to recover in social situations and gives you the time that you need. he’s willing to be the pillar you run to whenever your social battery’s running low. 

though he admires your hardworking nature, he won’t hesitate to stop you if you overwork yourself. he always encourages breaks and offers to do your work for you if that’s what you need. not necessarily a nagging type of person but if he needs to take physical action, he’ll do it. it’s mostly just him stealing your laptop and pulling you into his lap for a cuddle. 

he doesn’t hesitate to remind you that you don’t have to be a people pleaser. an understanding man, he knows that it’s hard to just get over it so he tells you that he’ll be with you every step of the way, always giving you a gentle reminder of how cool you are to him and that you can say no. 

komori wants to be the shoulder you lean on whenever you’re facing something you don’t like. loud noises? he’ll hold you close and rub your back, telling you that it’ll all be okay. confrontation? he’ll confront them for you. injuries? he’ll keep an eye on you to make sure that you’re never going to be hurt. on the off chance that you do earn a wound, komori will ensure that you’re fixed up as soon as possible. he has a whole mini first aid kit on him specifically for this reason. fear of losing? he’ll always remind you that your efforts mattered more than the results and give you a kiss on the top of your head. the unknown? he’ll waddle through the unknown with you. he’s scared of it too but he won’t tell you that. violence? he’ll cover your eyes and guide you away with strong, gentle arms. 

he loves indulging himself in all of your interests.  

on lazy days, he’ll sit with you and take turns reading a book to each other out loud. sometimes it’s a whole novel, sometimes it’s a manga you’ve picked up from the library. he thinks it’s cute seeing your eyebrows furrow while you concentrate on the words in front of you. 

the study dates don’t end. whenever one of you is struggling with a subject, the other visits to be their personal tutor. it ends up being you a lot of the time, since komori loves your studying method. 

komori loves to read your writing. there are days where you go over to his to hangout and sit in silence. he adores that he can be that relaxed around you and lounge around on his phone while you sit up with your laptop propped on your lap. you’re always writing up a draft of a new creative piece whenever he glances at your laptop. he graciously offers to be your beta reader and indulges in every word you’ve typed. komori thinks that your writing style is so beautiful. 

one day, you told him that you like the french language and he spent a week trying to learn how to say ‘i love you’ and maybe a couple of other phrases to surprise you out of nowhere. when he saw your shock, he giggled and wrapped his arms around you. from that moment on, he would occasionally whisper je t'aime into your ear. he loves you so much omg. 

you play sports together. it doesn’t matter what it is; be it volleyball, tennis or soccer. you’re both a power duo in every game you play and everyone’s scared to play again the two of you. it helps that your boyfriend is one of the most notable liberos in japan. 

komori likes watching anything with you. sometimes when you’re both too tired to go out, he’ll set up his tv to watch whatever you’re in the mood for. one day you might catch up on my hero academia. another day you might be sniffling at a romcom. he likes romcoms more than he’d like to admit but he tells you about this guilty pleasure to appease your love for the genre. 

you mentioned to him once that you liked handwritten letters and komori made it his personal mission to write one for you personally once a month. they’re always so heartfelt, a clear reflection of him and his emotions towards you. he enjoys writing them as much as he enjoys the expression on your face when you read them. 

he seems to be the greek mythology enthusiast himself so he loves talking to you about it. and by enthusiast, i mean that komori was one of those kids who owned the whole entire percy jackson series. since the most that he knows about greek mythology is whatever is written in the percy jackson books, he lets you sit with him and educate him on the extensive lore of the gmcu (greek mythology cinematic universe). 

he loves hearing you talk about astrology and gets into it himself. he can’t help it, especially with the bright smile you hold on your face whenever you talk about it. when he first found out about your astrological compatibility, he was over the moon. the grin that he had on his face was so big that you thought that it looked like the moon itself. he’s downloaded co-star and reads his and your horoscope sometimes. 

date idea! 

komori decided to take you to a cat cafe after you mentioned the idea of it to him once. it’s a very him thing to do, to remember something you’ve told him offhandedly once and immediately make something big out of it. 

the second you step in, your eyes glimmer with delight as they land on the multitude of cats in the vicinity. you don’t even look back to him at once, swerving your attention to the cafe’s residents. at least you’re holding his hand still, he thinks. maybe he’s a little jealous but hey, the visible joy on your face beats his concern over being prioritised after felines living in a cafe. 

after what seemed like hours of cat-petting, you both sat to order, the food arriving in a pleasingly timely fashion. the lunch items were delicious, the desserts were divine but komori was even more drawn to the soft look of adoration on your face as you stared at a calico cat that frequently passed by the two of you. 

this might’ve been his best date idea yet, he thought. 

#starburst matchup #haikyuu-matches #hikari's writing!!

[rahabs]

How are you staying active during quarantine? I just tipped into 180lbs, highest I've ever been, and I'm getting really depressed about it 😔 I've only gained about 7-8 pounds due to the quarantine, but back in January I was at 163, and I'm really struggling with the fact that I'm back up again after how hard I've been working. It feel like I can't get the weight to stay off, now esp. (Sorry for the mini rant, but I actually followed you Bc of your fitness posts, I appreciate them a lot

Many hugs to you, Anon, and there is no need to apologise 🖤  You are definitely not alone.  I have also been struggling a lot with my weight recently (I have deliberately been putting on muscle, about 25lbs of it, but it is still a struggle to do so and to feel sometimes like my work getting down from 210lbs is being reversed--I am up to 145-150lbs myself, even though I still fit most all of my clothes from when I was 122lbs), but please do not be too hard on yourself!  Some of that weight gain might be muscle, but I understand how frustrating and demoralising it can be nonetheless, I really do.  Like... I really, really cannot emphasise enough how much I understand and how much I get what you’re going through right now, and I wish with all my heart that you weren’t going through it, because it hurts and it makes you just feel awful and so I am really and truly wishing you all the best right now, but also I have the utmost faith in you and despite the setback it is nothing that you cannot fix going forward 🖤

To answer your question, I’ve been doing a mix of things, but the two biggest things for me are that I built myself a routine, and I try to just walk everywhere that I can.  Also, I track in an app called MyFitnessPal, because I need to hold myself accountable.  The gyms in my city have recently opened back up and I have usually been going five times a week (reduced capacity and you can only go for an hour, but I use every second of that hour because cardio is how I best manage OCD/PTSD/anxiety, and I love love love seeing some beloved familiar strangers at the gym--we all wave happily to each other, since we tend to book the same time slots 🖤), but before they opened up my biggest friend was just walking.  I have a lot of joint issues due to my improperly healed torn hip flexor and my former obesity, so I can’t run, but you don’t need to run.  Walking is your best friend.  Or even household chores.  I used to work for a landscaping company, so when I can I will help with the yardwork (even though I dislike it--I try to find ways to make it more fun, and I genuinely enjoy being out in the sun, so there’s that at least).  I make sure things stay tidy, I’ve been writing a lot and trying to see friends when I can, or get out to hike in the mountains.  If I go grocery shopping and I’m waiting in a line, sometimes I’ll lazily bicep-curl my grocery bags.  I’ll walk to the mailbox, I’ll walk through the neighbourhood, I’ll walk to the grocery store or to the nearest gas station.  My dogs are old so I cannot walk them anymore, especially since we are under a heat wave, but I’ll get up and play with them.  Bottom line: if I could find somewhere to walk and an excuse to walk there, I would.  When I couldn’t, I would sit down and exercise by following my favourite home workout YouTube channel.  (Seriously, she is amazing; I’ve followed her for years, since her channel was just starting out.  I just got a half-sleeve tattoo and cannot use a lot of gym equipment at the moment so I have gone back to her videos, as she provides a lot of modifications and alternatives and just so many good at-home exercises that you don’t need any fancy equipment for.)

The routine is the most important part, though.  I need structure, and if I have structure I find that I am less likely to binge, because my brain won’t freak out as much (whether out of boredom or something else).

You might know this already but I’m a (recovering) binge-eater and I also eat when bored or stressed, so I’ve just been trying to occupy myself with things other than food.  I had a really bad spot for awhile where I was doing really, really poorly in that department an binged every day, but I finally put my foot down last week and this is the longest that I’ve been binge-free in months.  I also have BDD, which I am working on (hard going when my attempts to ask the people around me for help often fall on deaf ears).

I think it’s important to realise that fitness and weight loss isn’t always linear.  There will be times where you falter and stumble and when that happens it’s important not to punish yourself--instead just accept and acknowledge that it’s happened and adapt for the future.  Like a little AAA battery!  Bodies are also weird, and sometimes they react to things strangely.  I’m not a professional in any way, but since working to put on some muscle I have noticed that women’s bodies at least like... they are strange things sometimes.   And I know it sounds weird, but try not to put too much emphasis on a number on the scale.  I’m not saying “get rid of the scale!” or “smash the scale!” or anything silly like that because I think to some people having the scale is really important, so long as it doesn’t become something obsessive you fixate on (I have severe OCD, professionally diagnosed, so easier said than done, but it’s doable by adding it to the routine and picking one day a week where I check in), but make sure it doesn’t become a focal point of your weight loss.

Instead, just notice how your clothes are fitting.  If you have body tape, you can use that too.  Pick a favourite pair of jeans and just see how they fit over time, or a favourite bra, or something that doesn’t stretch as easily as yoga pants.  Again, some of your recent weight gain might actually be muscle mass, especially if you aren’t noticing a lot of change in how your clothes from January fit.  When I first hit 145lbs when I was first losing the weight, I didn’t look like I do at my current 145-150lbs, after having got down to 120 and then making the decision to put some muscle back on.  Save for some jean shorts that I bought at my lowest weight, because I build thick muscles in my thighs, I still fit all the clothes I bought and wore at 120lbs--including my fitted dresses, my Stampede jeans, most of my bras, and the pair of “check Lulus” I bought because those things are without mercy.  I also have a couple really good friends I check in with who know me and who I can trust to tell me the truth when I cannot perceive it myself.  And, when I’m being honest with it (which I am trying really hard to be again), I have MyFitnessPal, which has been with me through thick and thin.

If you can, I would recommend a good fitness tracker, too.  Fitbit is really good and user-friendly.  I have a Garmin now, because Fitbit doesn’t make adult watches or watch bands small enough for my ridiculous baby bird wrists, but I had my Fitbit for years before that and it saw me through the vast majority of my weight loss/fitness quest.  It can be very helpful to just help you gauge where you are; most people grossly overestimate how active they actually are, and if you’re up for it, a tracker can be helpful in giving you empirical data from which you can base some better decisions around.

And just do you best to stay active.   I do not know if you have any gyms where you live or if they’re open, but I would really recommend getting a membership, though I totally understand that gyms are not for everyone.  If not, I really do recommend checking out that youtube channel I linked (Koboko Fitness), and just doing your best to walk wherever there’s the option to walk (and it won’t cause undue hardship/pain/etc).  Lift some boxes around the house.  Turn doing the dishes into a stretching exercise.  If you’re familiar with yoga, do yoga (I do not because I am not familiar with it and it can be dangerous to people like me with joint issues to start if you don’t have anyone around who can tell you if you’re doing it right, but my younger sister is working on a cert and she does yoga daily, even with the baby bump).  Many gyms are offering online classes right now too, including the gyms I go to (GoodLife Fitness in Canada), so they can be worth checking out too!

But also just know you’re not in that boat alone.  Many people are struggling right now, including myself, so if you ever need to chat my inbox and my DMs are always open (and I can toss my Discord handle out too if that helps), because a support system can really make all the difference.  I never had one for the longest time, and so when I fell back on old, bad habits it took me awhile to pull myself out of it (again).  I really can talk about this forever but I will stop myself now because I am a chatty cathy but!  Please feel free to send messages whenever you want, Anon, and please be kind to yourself!  I know it’s scary and I know it’s disappointing because I have been there many a time but you can do this, I believe in you!  You’ve had a setback but it isn’t anything that can’t be fixed/corrected and I have faith that you will be able to get back on the proverbial horse and mow down Alexander’s armies in a way that would make the Achaemenids proud 🖤 I hope this helped in some way and that I was able to answer your question!

#weight loss #fitness #long post #text #mens sana in corpore sano #ed mention #ed for cw #anonym #ask #reply

[petersmparker]

Clutch pt 7 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: This is the first time Peter has spoken to you since he’d kissed you in the alley, and he can’t help but be surprised.

Word Count: 1868

A/N: woo! long time coming, huh? thanks to everyone following this series for their patience! we’re one week into the semester and college is already beating me into submission. did someone say “five classes that assign almost 50 pages of reading due for every class”?? Love you all for sticking w me!!! I’ll promise the next one will be out faster- it’s already written for editing!! ps, tumblr literally won’t allow a cut, so I’m sorry to anyone who has to scroll past this

INTRO PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8

It's nearly a week until Peter sees you again due to careful avoidance in the halls and an unfortunate streak of petty crime a distance from your usual routes. Even despite the heated kiss that had been exchanged and his decision to share with you the name behind Spider-Man, he worries that it would be unwise to approach you outside of the suit, and the sight of you in school makes his heart do flips that leave him flustered and distracted for an admittedly embarrassing amount of time.

Because of this, the week passes with some anxiety and nerves. Peter isn't exactly sure how to make odds or ends of what had occurred between you. The kiss had been wonderful- something he had dreamed of without the nerve to actually hope for it. Moreover, it was his first. He wondered if it was yours too, or if you minded that it was him.

Well. Not him, he supposed. Spider-Man. He knew that you felt nothing for him personally, but rather his superhero alter ego. You knew very little about him, after all, besides his name. There wasn’t much he’s been able to share. But if you did, Peter wondered, would you see something in him worth caring about?

Five days in, as Peter goes through the motions of dinner, he fights the urge to admit to May what had occurred. To just talk about it, maybe get some advice. The thoughts rattle in his brain nonstop, keeping him in a near-constant state of “What now?”. But he meets her eye over her container of takeout as she digs a piece of broccoli out from under her rice, and can’t seem to do it. Not yet. Not until things are clearer.

As he climbs into bed, he once again replays the kiss in his mind for the millionth time, hoping to hell that his fixation isn’t breeding false hope.

The next day, Peter decides to swing through the street where his fight had occurred to survey the damage repair. It was something he, unfortunately, was becoming accustomed to doing after putting himself on the radar of higher level criminals the year before. The guilt always struck him when he viewed a shattered glass storefront or a torn apart corner of a building. No matter how hard he tried, sometimes the damage control got away from him.

Seeing the closed-up mini mart is just like every other time, and it feels terrible.

Despite that, the guilty thoughts circling Peter's brain come to a dead stop the moment he lays eyes on you again. Overcoming them was nervousness. Embarrassment, even, as he recalled just how much you'd been at the center of his mind for the past week.

You’re walking along the far side of the street, gazing up at what is left of the shop. The busted-out window is covered in several layers of plastic, wood planks, and cardboard. While the police tape is long gone, the word CLOSED is clearly displayed on the front door- as if the mess of a window isn’t enough of a clue.

As Peter watches, you move on toward a telephone pole to read a sheet of paper that had been stapled to it. After a few moments, you tear it off and stride, agitatedly, in the direction of an alley that he knows all too well. For a brief second Peter wants to assume that you’ll just walk past it. Surely you aren't going to return to The Place It Happened and cause the impending conversation to be even more awkward than it was already going to be.

You turned into the alley, and with a sigh, Peter jumps from the roof he had been perched upon to meet you there. He touches down next to you, startling you only slightly when he attempts to casually say hello and reach for the flyer in your hand.

"Jesus," you gasp, yanking the paper away from him in your exasperated surprise, "Part of me had a feeling you'd show up, but I still wasn't prepared. Maybe you need a bell around your neck."

Peter accepts the now-offered flyer and tries not to shiver when you gently brush a finger against his throat for emphasis. "Ah, well," he starts, somewhat awkwardly, "That might ruin the element of surprise a bit, you know? The bad guys would hear me. Mr. Stark might have to fire me. And in this economy?"

"Spider-Man gets paid?" You ask, bewildered.

"God, no," he says quickly, "This suit is payment enough. And he gave me all this nice stuff I couldn't afford, I- I'd never ask for more."

With a gentle laugh, you place a hand on his arm. "You're a good guy. Really. It makes the shit this reporter is spreading all the more ridiculous," you say with finality, gesturing toward the flyer he still hadn't read.

Pictured was Spider-Man in the midst of his criminal sendoff. Shards of glass are flying across the whole photograph, and the look on the man’s face is one of complete terror. The caption reads, SPIDERMAN: HERO? OR PUBLIC MENACE?

"Oh," Peter says, dejectedly, "I can't really argue that, can I?"

In a quick movement, you rip the flyer out of his hands, crumple it, and toss it toward the open lid of the nearest dumpster.

"Spider-Man," you say firmly, commanding him to hear you, to listen, and Peter’s surprised by the seriousness of your tone.

Your voice lowers in volume when you say, "Peter," and take his hands in your own, and he nearly melts.

"Everything you do is for the good of others. You've saved people's lives before. Put your own in danger to do it. That flyer is slander. Nothing more. No one in their right mind will believe this, and you, you damn intelligent boy, you should know better than to buy into it, either."

"The damage-" Peter starts, before you raise a hand over the mouth area of his mask.

"Nothing was destroyed, Peter. The infrastructure is sound. It was a single window. It can be replaced. Lives can't be replaced,” you assert, squeezing your  eyes shut tight when you continue to say, “With the way I was reacting, I- I probably would have been shot. You stopped that from happening.”

"But. . ." he starts, muffled against your hand, before he realizes that he doesn’t know what to say.

Your other hand comes up so that you can gently hold the sides of his face. The touch sends shivers up Peter’s spine. He’s sure you can feel it when it shakes him, and he’d be embarrassed if he weren’t so entranced by your eyes now that they’ve reopened. You stare into the eyes of his mask, almost as if you can actually see his face.

Your voice fills with what Peter thinks is gratitude when you say, "I would be dead if it weren't for you."

A tension-filled moment passes in which he reels, mind flitting to a hundred different places, before it lands on a terrible thought.

"Is that why you were willing to kiss me?" Peter asks, tentatively.

Surprised, your hands fall away for a brief second, before coming back, holding him tighter than before. "No," you say, definitively, "I would have kissed back no matter what you had done. I'm glad you gave me the opportunity."

With your words, the anxiety slips away from Peter all at once. The fear of rejection is sapped out of him, the concern that he had overstepped his boundaries, the sinking feeling he got every time he thought about how he left afterward. He is left with a balloon in his chest inflating too quickly. It fills with happiness, relief, and affection. It takes his breath away.

In his joy, Peter forgets who he is. Not unlike the first time, he surges forward, arms wrapping around your lower back to pull you forward. He leans in to kiss you, and realizes once he meets your mouth with his own that he's Spider-Man. Not Peter. The mask is still on. His embarrassment is horrific, and had you not burst into delighted laughter Peter may have left the country then and there.

"That- that was so dumb," he says, awkwardly, reaching up to hide his face as if the mask didn't always hide his blush, "I'm sorry. That was- oh man."

You pull him down to plant a kiss on his cheek, paying no mind to the mask that has thwarted his attempt at affection. "This is why," you explain, stopping to press a second quick kiss to the mouth of his mask, "You ask if I kissed back because you saved me? I kissed back because in the little time I've known you, you've been funny. And you've been kind, and brave. What more could I have done, besides feel something for you?"

Peter calms slowly, the heat of embarrassment being replaced by a different kind of warmth. A lovely, comfortable one. The urge to tell you who he really is- more than just his name- bowls him over like a tidal wave, potential ramifications be damned. He opens his mouth to do so when a voice at the entrance of the alley says, "Hey, it's Spider-Man!"

Peter turns to see someone who appears to have stumbled upon the alley at the worst possible time. While you hadn't heard them speak, his hearing is far better. You don’t turn until after he’s faced the unwelcome arrival.

Luckily, thinks Peter as he attempts to emote as much disdain as possible without moving, it's just you. Ned waves at the scene you’ve made in the alleyway, unaware of the context of your meeting or the true presence of you in his life.

"Hello there," he adds, when neither of you respond. His tone implies that he's picked up on something, but Peter isn't sure what that is.

"Uh, hello," Peter answers, unsure of what to say.

Ned looks between the two of you slowly. "Is... everything okay?" He asks, seemingly unaware of how odd it is for a civilian to ask if Spider-Man is alright, whether or not he secretly knows him personally.

His eyes flick downward to your hands, still cupping Peter’s jaw.

"Yes!" Peter exclaims, backing away from you, "Everything is fine! In fact, I should probably be going, now that everything is fine."

"Oh?" His best friend questions in response.

"Absolutely," you say slowly, picking up on Peter’s tone.

Ned nods, but his expression clearly states that he is both skeptical and confused. In a moment of eye contact, Peter realizes that you know there's something going on, too. Maybe even that the person who has stumbled upon you and him knows something. The prospect of it is vaguely terrifying. He can feel you continue to stare at him long after he’s turned back to Ned, searching for the words to say, and is sure that you’re searching his body language and the squint of his eyepieces for answers. His posture falls from rigid to defeated.

Peter turns to look back at you, reaching toward you to grab your hand. He stops halfway, thinking better of the action before he’s spoken to Ned. You almost reach out to meet it, but you stop too, centimeters away.

"I have to go," he says, voice laced with apologies and explanations he can’t fully give to you right now, "I'll... I'll see you. I'm sorry."

You smile reassuringly. "See you, Spider-Man."

After a long moment, he turns away. After nodding toward Ned, still watching from the end of the alleyway, he takes a huge leap into the air and swings away. Maybe he’s mistaken, but he’s sure that he can hear Ned offer a quick, I guess I’ll see you later? to you before he runs off.  

Tag list:

@undiadeestos @moonstruckholland @deathofthethrones @souvenirsvisuels

@nedthegay @legendarydazekitten @secretlittlewonders @jackiehollanderr @disgustangg 

#peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fluff #peter parker series #peter parker x reader #peter parkerxreader #peter parker reader insert #peter parker self insert

[elzariel]

Karma Fairy

This will be a LONG one, like, short novel long, but its been a long gig and I need to tell the world of this mess, hoping this'll pay my debt back to the karma fairy for letting justice rain on this.

The cast: Me MOS (manager on site) CB (cheeky bugger) HAH (horny asshole)

TLDR; HAH acts like he's the pro and brags to everyone, before talking shit about coworkers behind their back to other coworkers and boss, then doesn't do his job, expects boss not to find out he's skipping work, doesn't turn to work and when boss wants to ask him what the fuck, doesn't even answer his phone. HAH is in for a surprise when MOS will never hire him again and probably will cut ties with him all together, as he now knows what a shit person HAH is.   

Background info: I'v been with this company for half a year now, but have recently moved from another town. My old boss offered to introduce me to the manager at the new town and said they could easily get me more work there. I agree that I'd love to keep working for them, as I'v been cleaning for years on several smaller companies, but its never ended happily. Turns out cleaning as a profession is a swamp of bad customers and crap employers. Who knew. All in all, this company has been nothing but nice and I love working for them. The two managers I'v worked for were stellar gents, I trust them and will bend backwards to keep the customer happy for these people. My current boss at the company, is a friendly, no nonsense guy. I'v met him like, twice before I got to the worksite, but he seemed to get along well with my old boss, so I trust this guy. A little scatterbrained and bad at choosing workers, but we all make mistakes. Also kinda crap at making inventory on what needs to be done when etc. but its okay, he has a whole town's cleaning jobs to run for a fairly big company.

My new manager, MOS, asks if I want to do a short gig, since they don't have anything stable to give me yet. I agree, as I want work asap. This would also raise my experience and give me kudos in the company for accepting short notice work, since MOS called me a day before the gig starts. (turns out nobody else wanted to do it except me and CB) Gig is at an office type building, to clean before the new tenants move in. Space has been cleaned after the last tenant left, but they want us to deep clean the space, since new tenant has had problems with in-door air quality at their last place, meaning they're gonna be absolutely anal about new place being clean. MOS makes it clear to all three of us working there, me, CB and HAH that this is IMPORTANT. The dust HAS to be gone. From EVERYWHERE. There is no slacking at this job. This is one of those gigs where it has to be spotless or we'll have to just re-do it until it is.

On day one, I meet my work buddies for this gig. CB, darker skinned immigrant worker, speaks fairly ok english and a understandable version of the language of the land. Does the jobs given to him, or so we thought. Not a bad dude, just has a shit ton of work on his plate, including another cleaning company next to ours, this raises tension with him and MOS. HAH, dude says he's a veteran of the field. Has been cleaning "forever". Keeps mentioning how he's a pro at window washing and seems oddly fixated on windows, as if he thinks this is his only job here. MOS said he hired this guy because HAH didn't have work atm. Never said that HAH would only be doing windows. From that day on, HAH would constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY, keep talking how the windows will only take him a day to do, including the outside. How this job, that has been scheduled for 70 hours or in other words 5 days, will only take us like two, so we can take it slow and laze around. (Of course not when MOS is around, but he openly talks about going slow with me and CB. Even bitches at me for doing the bathrooms "too fast" as we'll "run out of work" if I don't slow down.) When HAH wasn't boasting about how fast this'll be, he is talking about sex. Not kidding. This man spent 80% of the time his mouth was moving talking about fucking, dicks, vags, railing women and the sort. Now I ain't a prude, but damn son, reel it in a little. He's 49, going through a divorce, with kids my age (29) and it seems like he has no other topics besides being a fast worker and how many women he's banged. CB humors him, but I only answer with curt, short comments. I'm not interested. I'm here to work, not boost someone's ego. We get trouble almost immediately. HAH starts on indoors glass surfaces, while me and CB start trying to figure out how the heck we're supposed to clean the windows that are second story high, we have our own saga with fighting a scaffolding set that's not only badly installed, but at the wrong spot, trying to get it moved, trying to have CB not die falling from cleaning on this thing, etc. It is not fun, its driving MOS insane trying to get the guys responsible for the scaffolding to help us. It goes on for most of the time we're there. In the end, all higher windows have to be cleaned with a seriously dodgy ladder.

Trouble starts on the third last day. Its monday. I come in to find nobody there. Okay, I assume CB has been working too much again and can't come in today, or will be late. Its a trend, but I'm like, its okay. We're almost done anyways. On Friday, HAH left super SUPER early, saying he's done all he needs and we'll do the windows outside on monday when it gets warmer. I shrug, almost tell him to fuck off since he's done jack shit all week, even though he was supposed to help us with EVERYTHING, not just windows, but let him leave because its his fault when MOS comes by later that day and he gets in trouble. MOS got annoyed as fuck when he did come by, but said I could leave early too since we're almost done. (or were we, dun dun duu)

At around lunch on monday, I call MOS to ask about the bathrooms in the foyer, if they belong to the office space and if I should clean them too. Here's the convo: "Yeah those are part of the office too." "Hey I wanted to ask, where is everybody? I'm alone here and we aren't nearly done." "Oh uhh.. Yeah HAH was there this morning, but since the usual electricians didn't show up before 9am, he waited outside the door for an hour and left, without calling me to get someone to open the door." "What?! He left???" "Yeah I don't think I'm hiring this guy again after this. Old friend or not. He's getting all kinds of cocky.." "Well, yeah, he left super early on friday too, saying how he'd finish the outside windows on monday but I guess thats tomorrow then?" MOS apologizes and tells me he's gonna come by in a few to do inventory on what needs to be done and check up a bit on what has been done. We're going to have a check-up with the customer on tuesday around noon, so we'll know what the customer wants re-done by wednesday. MOS shows up in about half an hour, I tell him the list of stuff that needs doing, at this point its mostly the floors, one bathroom needs a quick dust-up since its been in use. We walk around and spot some dusty window frames. MOS looks suspicious af and starts touching ALL the window frames indoors. There's dust everywhere. HAH was supposed to wipe these as he cleaned them, turns out he didn't. While we're doing that, we spot a few ventilation vents that need to be vacuumed, nothing major. Some walls are scuffed and we comment on how that could use a touch up. All in all it looks ok. Rest of monday is spent with CB, who shows up late, getting upper surface dusting done and me finishing small stuff like the bathrooms and some of the walls. By the end of day, I'v seen MOS outside with window cleaning stuff finishing the outside windows. I'm starting to suspect he is so done with HAH at this point. This is tuesday. I come in fairly early, as I can only work for 3 hours that day. In between that tuesday and the first day there, I'v gotten a small bank job from CB to do three times a week + I'm doing holiday leave for a bigger job in town, cutting my available hours to 3 at the office space. This means I'm there for 3 hours, finishing up dusting high up surfaces, when I walk past where MOS and HAH are talking in a room. HAH is making snide comments on how he's surprised (me) can use the floor cleaning equipment. I listen in, take a deep breath, and walk away. Not worth it. I don't have the energy to explain to this jackass I have a damn degree, that has 40% of it concentrated on machine usage and maintenance. I can use any and all equipment a cleaning job needs, be it floor cleaners, polishers, watervacuums or those mini-zambonis. Client shows up around noon. MOS is busy walking the premises with them and I immediately realize there's trouble. The client(s) turn out to be a group of people, with various faces and job titles. MOS looks horrified about 5 minutes in and it just gets worse from there. HAH has done a shit job. Like, major shit job. CB did some of the windows high up, but since he's clearly never been actually taught how to do it, he did it in whatever way that felt logical to him. HAH was supposed to spot clean after CB, but this combo just turned into a mess where ALL indoors window frames had to now be re-dusted with a wet cloth. Yes. All of them. 1000m2 of space, re-dusted. That's 10 763,9 sq ft for americans. HAH had the balls to walk past me re-dusting with "I did that when I cleaned the windows you don't have to do that" which I curtly responded to with "No, the customer literally just said everything has to be re-done." This caused HAH to start doing the SAME THING I WAS DOING. We now had TWO people dusting these window frames, like idiots, while the customer is there. I was so very VERY close to throwing my rag at this guy, telling him to fucking find something useful to do, instead of passive-aggressively following me. I was already doing the job, what on earth! On top of this, the customer found dust. But refused to tell us where he found the dust from. MOS is flabbergasted. How does hiding where it is help us clean? We have no idea, we went through the whole location trying to find this mystery dust treasure trove. Got some hits, cleaned those. MOS is defeated and deflated, he is tired and done after the customer(s) leave. Turns out we have to re-do most light-fixtures, some windows needed a re-wipe, the floors are still not done. I leave on tuesday early, with HAH still shit talking to MOS, now insulting CB's work ethic and results openly, getting more and more racist by the minute. I exit before I have to hear what he has to say about my cleaning. So its wednesday now. Its technically our last day there and everything has to be perfect, finished and spotless before anyone can go home. What does HAH do? Leave early. I come in around 9:30, by 10:00 HAH is gathering his gear talking about how there's only the floor to clean and we should be done. CB is coming later to help right, you'll be fine on your own with 1000m2 flooring to clean! (again, 10 763,9 sq ft) Apparently only some of the offices floors need cleaning, mostly what is needed is two front offices, the big entrance room, a hallway and the foyer. All this time HAH is talking, he is clearly talking about using the small floor cleaning machine we have there. He even points at it, making sure I know how to use it etc. Before he leaves, I ask him to help me move all our equipment, scattered around the office, to the main lobby room and clean up a little. I'm thinking, he can at least do THAT, right?? No. No he cannot. He brings maybe third of the equipment to the lobby, helps with none of the trash, and just poofs into thin air. I'm like, ok, I'm fine with this. I start by checking that everything is ok, spot clean some walls, then start on the floor. I use the little machine we have. At the lesser used end of the hallway it works fine. It looks clean etc. But by the time I'm at the lobby end of the hallway, I'm seeing streaks on the floor. This is a trend that continues through the two offices and the foyer. After I'm done with the lobby/main entrance room, I realize this isn't gonna fly. The floor is super streaky and I can't figure out what is going on. I'm technically done now, all the floors are ran through once with the cleaning machine, but I just don't feel right leaving without asking MOS about the floor, if there's something to do, if I can leave etc. I text MOS if I can leave, I'm done with everything, I think, etc. Ask about the streaking. Then I start my lunch. I know he's at a meeting so getting an answer might take time and I'm in no hurry, as I have no other work on wednesdays, I can stay here however long that is needed. I don't hear anything in 45 minutes and decide fuck it, I'll call him. MOS answers instantly, laughing how he was just about to call. We laugh about telepathy and here's the convo: "So are the electricians gone? They were supposed to finish today right? Are you guys alone?" "What? No, I'm alone. There's two electricians here with me, they seem pissed too, I guess nobody is in time here." "Wait what? You're alone? Where's HAH??? Didn't CB show up??" "Uhh no?" "What in the actual fuck!? What happened???" "HAH was here until about 10am but he left, said everything was done, he had nothing to do so he'd be off" "What the fuck does he mean Nothing to do?? The floors are- are the floors done?" "Well see, there's this weird streaking problem.. I don't want to leave before you ok me to leave, since this doesn't look clean to me, tbh" "Give me 20 minutes. I'll be there. I'll give you a ride home later." "I'm in no hurry, I have no other work for today" MOS shows up in exactly 20 minutes. "The polishing machine hasn't done a very good job has it.." "What polishing machine?" "Huh? You haven't used the polishing machine on the lobby yet?" "No??? I wasn't told that was to be done. All HAH told me was to use the small machine and we'd be done?" "No, we need to use the polishin machine on the lobby, foyer and probably the hallway too, looking at the streaking, the shit's stained too deep for the small machine to penetrate it. Fucking HAH! What the hell does he think he's doing!? Why the hell did we bring the polishing machine and watervacuum here if its not used! Idiots!" At this point MOS starts cursing and I realize its finally dawned on him how much work there still is to do, and its just me and him now. MOS calls around trying to reach anyone to help, CB can't come he's already used his hours today, again. (Turns out he isn't even doing his jobs at the other places he cleans well, he has been lazying around wasting time and not following customer wishes/demands for a while, MOS tells me I might be getting stable work sooner than later, as it seems CB is gonna get booted too if his shitty work quality continues) Its now about 1pm and MOS asks me, looking desperate, if I'm okay helping him for the afternoon and for the next day as well. I agree, saying I'd gladly take the cash and how this vexes me too. The floor looks terrible + I want to look as good as possible to MOS now that I know both CB and HAH have screwed over their graces royally. We take a couple hours to use the smaller machine again the offices, but with the Good Stuff used with the polishing machine, resulting in clean floors. While I'm doing the offices, MOS starts on the lobby, with the Good Stuff + the polisher. GS is a very smelly, acidic chemical meant to strip wax off flooring, so its serious stuff, but also proceeds to get this grimy, black substance to come out the plastic flooring, making us realize some poor fucker waxed this floor, thinking it'd help (spoiler it didn't, don't wax plastic flooring) and that was causing the streaking, as the smaller machine can't strip wax but it can streak it. Thing is, when you use the polishing machine, you literally throw water and cleaning agent on the floor, run it over with the polisher then use the watervacuum to remove the dirty water. Its a two person job or it takes forever, since you cannot let the detergent and water dry, or you have to re-do everything. There was NO way I could have done this alone in a sensible time! HAH either knew this and was a cruel shit head or didn't know and wasn't the pro he said he was. By the time its 3pm, we have the lobby half done and the offices finished. The next day would be the hallway and the rest of the lobby. Before we leave, MOS tries to call HAH to ask him what the fuck is up, but doesn't get an answer. I tell MOS not to bother, HAH knows he's in shit so won't answer. MOS drives me home and on the way he expresses his regret in letting HAH in on the job, saying how if he knew what a bastard HAH'd be, MOS would never have hired HAH. MOS also tells me how HAH spent the whole tuesday shit talking CB and my work, how if HAH was alone he'd finished in 2 days. TWO DAYS. MOS says that was the point where he stopped listening and decided this man was beyond help. This is also when I heard MOS talk about how CB's other locations have been complaining a lot, saying how CB would leave equipment everywhere, would not clean the whole time he was supposed to be cleaning, would not show up at work etc. Got pretty much told I could have free pick when CB was fired later this year on his locations. MOS also mentioned how he was going to find out if there was anything he could do about HAH's pay, since he hadn't been at work or if he had been at work hadn't actually worked. I told MOS some pretty exact times when I knew HAH was working, meaning HAH couldn't bullshit his hours to MOS saying he'd worked when he hadn't.

Sadly, I didn’t go on thursday after all, as I realized I had a medical appointment I thought was on friday but was on thursday instead, so I have no other ending to this, except the knowledge that HAH will never work for MOS again.

I apologize for the HUGE wall of text, but it was a wild week and by the end of it, I could literally see karma fairy when I closed my eyes. I just wish I could be a fly on the wall when HAH realizes what a shit show this gig was and how its gonna affect his work prospects with this company.

Epilogue: Also, as a sidenote, yeah, this whole thing was a mess from the customer perspective too. By the time we got to wednesday, the electricians weren't done, they were supposed to have been done DAYS before we were to be done. There was new renovations that needed to be done showing up constantly. Several smaller jobs hadn't been done etc. I feel bad for the new tenants, who were supposed to move in on FRIDAY, with walls to be painted and crap still MIA. So its almost as if the picky customer got karma'd too. They were so hellbent on having the cleaning done perfectly, that the renovations weren't done anywhere near in time, meaning the nice clean floors and bathrooms? Now dirty again from reno guys using them for a good two days after we finished. And as we have picture evidence of our work, they can't come back saying we didn't clean. We did our job and their reno guys fucked our work up, not our problem.

TLDR; HAH acts like he's the pro and brags to everyone, before talking shit about coworkers behind their back to other coworkers and boss, then doesn't do his job, expects boss not to find out he's skipping work, doesn't turn to work and when boss wants to ask him what the fuck, doesn't even answer his phone. HAH is in for a surprise when MOS will never hire him again and probably will cut ties with him all together, as he now knows what a shit person HAH is.

#long-post #karma is a bitch #worktrouble #customer service woes

[thatmediocrestreamer]

Another year almost gone, let's look back!

Welp, another year has gone by in this mortal coil, and I feel as though I've come a long way forward and gone a long way back in the process this year. There are many things I COULD write about on this blog, but for want of not rambling like a loon, I'll attempt this brief sentences thing like on twatter.

Part 1:New year. New girlfriend. New job. New hope? No hope.

Well, first things first, as I rang in 2018, I was seeing a girl who lived a hundred and odd miles up north, in a little town called Blackpool, a seaside town that up to then, I'd loved visiting.

Isn't it sad when people show true colours?

I learned very quickly at the start of 2018 that it only takes a short time for someone to demonstrate what they can truly be like, and the moment I did, boy did things take a sudden nose-dive from there.

The great Christmas bitch-fest of 2017

I'd agreed to spend Christmas of 2017 in Blackpool with the ex and her daughter. That was mistake number one. I'll never abandon family again, especially not when this year, my mum sadly suffered a stroke while I was in Blackpool, leading me to basically feel as though I didn't want to be there at all. The ex actually helped me feel at ease about it all, and comforted me in my time of need, ostensibly reassuring me it'd all be okay, and to her credit, it mostly was.

The wicked psycho witch of the North West.

The now-ex girlfriend from Blackpool was absolutely lovely as a person, right up until her mother came on to the scene.

Now, this was one hella poisonous witch of a woman. One who basically told me that because MY OWN DAUGHTER lives with my ex, her birth mother (a normal thing, no?) that I was not allowed to send her birthday and Christmas money, despite the two falling in a week of one another, purely on the grounds of dating someone else. I’m selfish and unfair for doing that, apparently. This coming from a psychopathic apparent psychologist who’s only marketable skill is causing total ructions with anyone she meets. So that, right there, landed strike one for Team Blackpool.

Apparently, I'm controlling, abusive and manipulative, don't you know?

The next mental alarm bell was set off in the form of me being branded controlling, just for helping said ex, who is rather short in stature, to rearrange her kitchen cupboards so things she needed most frequently were more easily accessible. Again, a perfectly reasonable thing to do, help out someone you care for, you'd think? BUT NO! I got branded as a control freak for this simple gesture of kindness.

So, we're two months in, and it's already two strikes for Team Blackpool, But the best is saved for last.

Christmas at Ground Zero.

The final malaise is more a three-part saga than a termination of ways. So, best to Buckle up.

The Google Home Sex- shopping list Saga

First in the trio of amusing things that led to the breakdown of me and the ex, was her receipt of a Google Home Mini for Christmas. (I'm gonna assume that, because you're on a Tumblr blog, you know what a Google Home is.) So anyway, it's Christmas day, her mum had come round to deliver some of the presents before going home and returning later to do dinner (the one nice thing she actually did the whole time I was there.) The ex had become fixated by the fact she'd received this Google Home Mini, and so we tested it's capabilities to the absolute max, even Going as far as to add sex- toys to a shopping list, along with concrete shoes and other amusing items, just because we both had a sick sense of humour.

Her mum came back and she was literally having not a single bit of it. This resulted in ANOTHER argument over the Christmas dinner table, again instigated by her mum, and again, totally uncalled for. So I proceed to lock myself in the ex's room, playing GTA the rest of Xmas day, to make sure I didn't have to deal with any more of it.

The intervention I neither needed, wanted or asked for.

So, it's Boxing day, a time for happiness, being thankful and general good cheer, but not in that household. So, because I'd decided that the best option to alleviate issues and discourse was to stay in the ex's bedroom on the PlayStation, a strategy that had mostly worked until that point. But not that evening. Her mum decided that the best way to make things better was by inviting her friends round and literally picking me apart downstairs while I listened. She made a passing comment about "he needs to get off his fucking arse and stop playing the computer games and get a job if he wants to support my daughter and my granddaughter." Of course I had none of that, and proceeded to sit at the top of the stairs listening, not appreciating being critiqued by someone who literally knew nothing about me. Then a full blown ruckus ensued downstairs where they demanded I come down before I got dragged down, and had police and my ex's dad threatened on me if I didnt. But what use was it? She wouldn't listen to a single word I said, and even went as far as saying that I ruined HER Christmas! Bitch please, what about mine huh?

The secret friend turned best mate, and the parting of ways.

Before the Christmas period, I had become friendly with a girl called Jen, who, to her credit has now become one of my best friends, and one of my other best friends lives with her as a partner (GG ReaverAF.) All too often though, people have mistaken my kindness for me being flirtatious. To that end, I can sort of see what the ex's point was, as I had asked Jen a few questions about if someone were to take her on a date, what would it be and why? Yeah that could be misconstrued as flirting to the wrong eyes, but nonetheless, that's irrelevant in a way to whats to come.

Things were at this point, not good with me and the ex, with her mum's attitude towards me, and the ex herself being in possession of a selfishness so strong it puts most self-absorbed narcissists to shame (not going into the whys though.) The final nail in Blackpool's coffin came in the form of the ex's overwhelming paranoia about what me and Jen had been discussing, so she waited until I was asleep and physically went through my phone to see it for herself. She found almost nothing of an overly incriminating nature, however still used this as fuel for blabbing to a lot of people, and alongside this, proceeding to wake me up from my reverie the morning I was due to return home to Nottingham, to have a FULL BLOWN argument about it all in front of a TWO YEAR OLD CHILD. As someone with children of my own, however, I was having literally not a peep of it, and so proceeded to pack my belongings, book a taxi and get out of there, not ever looking back on Blackpool again.

Two good things came out of Blackpool though, I gained two friends for life In John and Jen, and I also came away from there having been given a job by John!

Part 2 next week. :)

#anxiety #anxietyanddepressionawareness #abusive ex #controlling #invisibledisabilities #survivor #warrior #gamerswithadhd #livingmydream

[tacuaches]

Nostalgia

what i’m listening to: Remind Me by Röyksopp

i am well aware that i say this a lot, but in all honesty the passage of time has me fucked up. lately, i've become aware of how my taste in music is what kids would now call dad rock as millennials are now in their late 20s to early 40s and are starting families of their own.

maybe it is because i was raised by millennials to where i grew up like a mini version of one as i, for the most part, listen to a majority of the music my parents do and enjoy. hell, from an early age my mother instilled a love for my chemical romance in me because she used the welcome to the black parade album to cope with the loss of her father. and it wouldn't be until middle school to where i would begin to transition into my 2010s emo/scene kid revival phase when it would hit me.

i actually remember it quite distinctly as a friend and i had been in my apartment going through my mother's ipad to find music to listen to when she excitedly found out we had mcr on there (i had said in the moment that it was my mom's.) my friend had thought it was so cool that we listened to mcr and that they were such a good band and thus began my descent into the alt culture.

i shouldn't shouldn't be surprised by it, really, at the age of 7 i would sing lithium by nirvana during karaoke along with zombie by the cranberries. but as i cling onto these bands that i grew up with (and really what my parents grew up with) it haunts me to think that it's now on the classic rock station. to me still it feels like 1991 was 10 years ago, but in reality it was 30 years ago which feels so wrong in a way? i mean it takes me out to realise 2011 was 10 years ago despite my brother being 11, but even then i have the hardest grasp on the fact that he's that old as it feels like just last week he was the annoying little toddler dressed up as muno from yo gabba gabba.

maybe this is a side effect of growing older - your concept of time becomes skewed as the days blend together before soon becoming months and eventually years. maybe this is how my father feels when he looks at me and tells me he remembers when i was a chubby child and sporting what he calls duck lips before eventually shaking his head as if dispelling the memory away from where it came.

he often apologises me for missing out on my life as my parents divorced when i was 8 and my mother got me while he had me weekends. i tell him he really shouldn't worry about it as i don't remember most of my childhood anyways, maybe from the years long resentment i held for my mother or from some trauma i've repressed. possibly it is a combination of the two, i'm not too sure.

there's this weird duality to it, really, i've repressed so much and yet i still wish to go back in time for somethings as i miss the feelings that they've brought me. in particular i miss people and animals that are no longer in my life usually it is the dead, but i also miss the ones that i have parted ways with whether it be on bad terms or good ones. maybe it's the cancerian in me and how i miss family - found or blood.

i think that's what it is and why i have such a complex relationship with yearning for the past and being unable to let things go. why i cant unfollow friends i share with my ex even though i never want to see her again, but they are still my friends (or at least i hope they are, even though a majority of them decided to stay friends with her while i went off into isolation to cope with the fact she left me for my cousin's friend.)

whatever it is, i think i shouldn't ruminate on it much longer as the past is still the past and it won't do much good fixating on it because it won't change and i can only become better from here on out.

with that i wish you a very nice rest of your day and want you to know that i love you and hope you stay hydrated.

what i’m doing: watching You're Next on Hulu

what i’m drinking: heb brand coca-cola

what i’m eating: chips and salsa

where i’m at: sitting at the kitchen table in my house

what i’m wearing: a Ghost t-shirt and shorts

date and time: 13 November 2021 - 01:41