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#i'm such an asshole but i don't give a shit tbh
trashycosmos · 8 months
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can we talk about the funniest thing of the whole experience was someome who sb me for almost 10 months straight saying they were upset i wasn't nice/distant/cold and didn't apologize for it and when i called out their behavior there was no apology from them they just didn't want to talk anymore lol
#literally laughed out loud reading the message#like one of us wanted was trying to be a murderer without getting blood on their hands (literally) and i'm the asshole bc i had the normal#HUMAN response to their bullshit#honestly they ought to consider themselves lucky i'm much more stable than they are or will ever be#the hilarious cherry on top of the whole fuck sundae is i wasn't even in therapy for at least the last 3 months of it all and they were#which is incredible#also a stark reminder that if (some) people can't be honest with their therapist then why are even you going roflmao#granted ig if you tell them you were actively trying to harm or threaten someone i think they're legally obligated to hold you in a ward#the level of narcissism was u n r e a l#it's not like i pretended to have been a perfect example of how to handle things but! there's! no! rulebook! on handling a sb piece of shit!#the truth shut them down & up so quick it was almost cathartic#kudos to them ig for cutting back on it after but goddess help the next person they try it on and give them the same patience/fortitude#moral of the story (for me) don't lie to your therapist (or another person's) or hide things from them#1) you aren't going to get any better 2) they have spent years learning to read people and they can see you for who you are and 3) you won't#even get the proper medication(s) (if you need it which goddess they need a significant number) for your illness(es)#honestly might explain quite of a bit of their spiral tbh and listen to your therapist when they tell you smoking weed exacerbates paranoia#i'm not saying don't smoke i'm saying smoke intelligently and safely. there's no shame in taking a break to better your mental health first#i've certainly done it#they could always start with why they were yelling about someone oddly specific on different occasions bc you know#it didn't present as suspicious in the least or why they couldn't pay others certain compliments like you're not subtle and again#not to be a broken record but that's what your therapist should be there for!#Falling Apart And Coming Together#i should come up with a label for it for me and when they potentially wanna snoop on my blog again rofl#but to anyone who('s) goes/going through similar i'm so sorry and i hope you refuse to give them the power to influence or control you#it usually comes from a place of them feeling like they have no control over themselves and it shows#i will say the closest i ever got to snapping (meaning yelling) was when they whispered to Nettle they hoped she'd die and manhandled her#several times#accidentally killing a stranger's cat might have awakened something in them but i sure as fuck wouldn't them try intentionally harming mine#or the one's they own#i think they even collected payment still after the incident which is actually sickening
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rubys-domain · 1 year
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i'm gonna make a list of all the characters i want because i can:
5-stars:
pyro - yoimiya
geo - zhongli, albedo
anemo - venti, kazuha
cryo - ayaka, shenhe
hydro - kokomi
4-stars:
pyro - yanfei
geo - yun jin, ningguang
I also wouldn't mind getting these characters:
diluc, tighnari, heizou, qiqi (yeah i know i know lol but i honestly wouldn't mind using her), ganyu, nilou, childe, mona, fischl, beidou
I honestly don't like and/or care about these characters, but begrudgingly admit that they would be a benefit to my account:
nahida, scaramouche, raiden shogun
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo,ide yo !!#this is sorted purely by personal preference btw#also for context#I haven't finished the inazuma archon quest yet#maybe my opinion on nahida will change#I don't not like her or anything. I just don't care either#I definitely don't like raiden. and at the point where I am in the story#it feels like I'm not gonna like her even after whatever they're gonna do to make her previous actions okay#also scaramouche#I don't like asshole characters. no matter how tragic their backstory is#and that scene in the delusion factory just made me dislike him even more#I'm also the type of player who couldn't give two shits about the meta#case in point: I main chongyun#but if I just so happen to get either of the three#at least I might have a chance at clearing spiral abyss for the primos#and get more funds for characters I actually like#honestly though#even though nahida is objectively better at applying dendro#even if I had her,I'd still use collei everywhere besides the abyss#I'm glad the game gave me cyno at the last minute tbh#now that I'm more familiar with the other characters#he's the electro character I like the most#also rip to me who wants both ayaka and shenhe#now that i have sucrose idek if i should continue pulling on the banner#i'm gonna try for shenhe to buff my chongyun (and to reunite the family too ig lol)#even though i like ayaka more and she's a carry,i feel like she's way more likely to get a rerun than shenhe#i also have no intention of ever benching chongyun so yeah lmao#chongyun and me? we ride or die#i think i'm gonna stop pulling after this banner ends either way though#if i don't get venti in his next rerun i'm gonna scream
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a-hazbin-reader · 3 months
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I hope this is an okay thing to ask for but could you do headcanons of Alastor with female reader on her- time of the month?? (Kinda wondering what to be like for him with all the blood ya know???) 🙇🏻‍♀️ please, thank you!
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Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: Alastor being nasty, canon cannibalism mentioned, menstruation(wish I got a TW for that in real life fr)
Description: ☝️⬆️
Can literally smell it coming before you even have a chance to check your calendar
Creep
He's like a fucking shark, smelling you from miles away
Maybe it's his affection for you but you're the one person he reacts this way to, he's fine around anyone else on their period
If you forget then he's not going to remind you because he likes waking up to the smell of your blood
Don't worry though he'll take care of the sheets and your clothes, he's got you bby girl
Tbh Alastor is practically starving whenever your period starts, the coppery smell making his mouth water constantly
He's sipping tea and you walk by?? Oops, the cup is crushed in his hands and he's sitting there with tea and broken glass all over him
He wants to devour you all the time
Definitely just finds opportunities to bite you and draw blood so he can stave off his desires
Don't worry it feels good
Eats at Cannibal Town more often
Other than that, he tends to pamper you when you're on your period
You're craving something??? Don't worry, Husk or Niffty will go get it for you! He'll snuggle you while you wait
Wait actually that looks kinda good give him a bite
Fuck off
He steals a bite anyways, forcing you to feed him a little nibble
Thank you love
You're experiencing cramps?? Do you want him to massage the area for you? You want a hot water bottle? He's got you
You just want to cuddle and be held? He can spare some time for that, just let him close the door first
No
Bby please he has a reputation to uphold
Loves when you have mood swings and snap at the others, encourages your anger
He's a shit stirrer
He literally just likes poking the bear and pointing you in his current victim's direction
"My dear, I thought you knew that Angel ate your sweets..."
As long as it's not directed at him
If you turn your anger on him then his ears fold back and he finds an excuse to run off
"I'm sorry my dear but Charlie is calling for me! We'll have to continue this conversation for another time!"
Coward
"Alastor, Y/N is looking for you-"
"I'M NOT HERE"
If your mood changes to sadness and you start crying then he panics and freezes up
"I-uh-I'm...sorry..?"
Makes awkward grabby motions at you then stops
He hates seeing you upset but he's an asshole and doesn't know what to do, doesn't want to make it worse
Idk if he's ever made a genuine attempt to make someone he cares about feel better
Alastor doesn't want to be the reason you're crying
Will just ask you what he can do to make it better, gripping your chin so that you have to look at him
He's serious
Whatever you ask of him he'll do it and he'll do it himself, no sending someone in his place and no fuss
Is visibly relieved once you're calm again, rubbing your back and letting out a sigh
Alastor is as attentive as he can bring himself to be when you're on your period, but you still have to put up with a lot of his shit
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I hope this is what you were asking for 🥺
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springseasonie · 1 year
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Hate me more | LMH (M)
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Enemies to lovers, Camp counselors Mark x Fem reader
Summary: You really dislike Mark and you're pretty sure he dislikes you too. Ever since he came to the camp last year, he's been nothing short of a headache to you. And now you're forced to work with him this summer, and his mission is clearly to piss you off.
Warnings: sexual content, heavy dubcon/cnc themes, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), kissing (shocker), Mark is annoying, so is the reader tbh, may be errors even though proof read
Word count: 7,7k
Song recs: kiss by NCT dojaejung (this is my way of promoting the unit go stream)
A/N: I was gonna write something for the release of golden hour but this took a bit longer than expected 😭 10 days later an I finally finished it lmao please give feedback if you want it's always appreciated
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"Okay kiddos make sure you have all your things before we go back to the cabins okay?"
"Yes Ms. Y/N!"
You gave them a thumbs up as you leaned on a tree, waiting for all the kids to pack up. This was your life every summer for the past 4 years. Being a camp counselor was a lot of work the first time, but by the end of the summer, you had to come back. You loved your kids and they loved you. The staff was always so welcoming and nice. That was true until Mark started the third summer.
He was such an asshole. All the other female counselors gushed over him and his looks. He was constantly flirting with everyone, using his looks and charisma to get himself out of shit. It annoyed you, and Mark instantly took notice. He would side eye you all the time and talk about you as if you weren't friends with everyone else. He didn't really care though, he enjoyed being confronted by you every time he got "caught." Mark found your anger funny, never really taking you seriously.
And now you're paired to work with him this summer.
"Ms. Y/N, where is Mr. Mark? I need help getting something out a tree," one of the kids asked.
"That's a good question honey." You glanced around the area, looking over both shoulders to try and get a sign of him. And of course, he's nowhere to be found. "I don't see him around. We're just gonna have to wait for him okay?"
The little girl nods and runs back to her friends. Ten minutes go by and you start to get annoyed. This happened way more often than you would like to think. Mark disappears to do something or someone for way too long and you're left to take care of the kids by yourself. Sometimes, you almost think it's unbelievable how unreliable he is, sneaking away leaving you alone with 20 children in a forest. But then again, it's on brand for him.
5 more minutes went by and you start to get frustrated. You have no idea what he could be doing that's going to cause all of you to be late for dinner time. "Okay everyone please listen to me okay?" All the kids stop talking and turn to you. "I'm gonna go look for Mr. Mark, but I need all of you to sit in 5 rows of 4. Now." All the kids practically run to sit next to their friends and plop down on the floor.
"Good. None of you move or get up. If anything happens, scream at the top of your lungs okay? I'll be right back." All of the kids agreed as you turned to walk into the forest, going the way you last saw him.
"So fucking irresponsible," you muttered to yourself. "How the hell am I supposed to watch 20 kids by myself?"
You could still hear the kids, so you know you weren't too far away from the area or the trail. This wasn't new for you, always looking for him. It's only been a month since the both of you had to start working together, and he was already making shit hard for you. Mark liked to go hide somewhere. it was either to get away from you, the kids, or to get blown off by some staff member. You couldn't stand it.
"I mean seriously, can't he control himself for one fucking summer," you grumble. "Fucks everything that walks. What an ass."
"Well I wouldn't say that."
Your body jumped violently suddenly hearing his voice next to you. You whipped your head in his direction seeing him sitting, leaning in a tree. Mark had his ear buds in and from where you were standing, you could still hear the music playing.
"Where the hell were you," you asked angrily.
Mark stood up and dusted his pants off as he walked to you. You crossed your eyes, eyeing him up and down. He was so smug about everything. He always looked like something was amusing to him, like there was always a joke to tell.
"Here," he said.
"Clearly. And how the hell do you even have a working phone out here. There is literally no service."
Mark shrugged, wrapping the ear buds around his phone and putting it in his back pocket. "I downloaded stuff before I came."
"Whatever, let's go," you said, rolling your eyes.
"Where are the kids," he asked you, placing his hands in his pockets as he walked.
"In the same place I left them. I had to come get you like you were a lost child. Stop leaving me with all these kids."
Mark smiled in amusement as he walked behind you. You didn't really notice, but you tend to stomp when you are angry. And fortunately for Mark, it wasn't annoying. He actually found it cute, but he wouldn't tell you that.
"Can we take a break? My legs hurt," he whined teasingly.
"Mark, stop playing games. We have 20 kids in the forest waiting for us to come back and the sun will start setting soon," you replied, sighing heavily.
"Oh please we'll be okay."
And at this moment, you've just about had it with him. You turned around, lips pursed at his nonchalant response. Mark stopped in his tracks, looking up at you as you stood on the top of the small hill. "You have one more time to piss me off or I will report you. I'm not joking."
Mark's amused expression washed away as you turned around and kept walking. For the rest of the walk back, he said nothing. Soon enough, the both of you got back to the kids who were still sitting and chatting.
You sighed, groaning quietly. "I'm gonna do another headcount. You get that thing out of the tree."
"Why couldn't you just do it," he complained.
"Because- you know what, just get it out the tree."
You counted all of the kids, double and triple checking everyone and the area around you. Soon enough, Mark got the toy that was stuck in the tree out, and everyone was ready to leave. "Okay everyone you know the drill. Get your buddy and get in line. Mark, you'll watch the back."
"Didn't sound like a question," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"I wasn't asking."
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"I swear to you I will kill him if I'm ever alone with him again."
"He's really not that bad," Somi said, taking another bite of her pancake.
"Please, bad is an understatement," you say as you sit down. "He fucking left me with 20 kids, and then when we got back and I told him how dangerous that was, he says 'but you handled it, right?'"
Somi laughs, clearly amused at your story. You give her a confused look, not understanding why she wasn't siding with you. "Y/N, anything he says makes you angry."
"That's not the point!" Somi stops laughing when she sees how upset you are. "He left me and 20 kids in the forest near sunset to sit on his ass and listen to music. Then got an attitude with me because I was telling him what do when he wanted to act like a fucking child. I'm tired of it, Somi. I've been dealing with this for a month."
"Shit, I didn't think it was that serious," she said, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.
"We literally could've had a bear encounter or something. I don't want to keep taking responsibility for his shit," you say, sighing heavily. "Anyways, I'm done complaining. Let's just eat."
You went to bed last night still completely angry at what happened in the forest. Mark didn't say anything to you walking back, but your conversation once you got back to the main camp was nothing short of unpleasant. It consisted of all your usual unpleasantries with him. Mark didn't really seem to care much though. You hated that you always let him get a rise out of you once you said you weren't going to do it anymore. And at this point, you had to get to the bottom of it.
You looked around the dining hall trying to find Mark. You knew he was there, he always came late after roughhousing with the kids in his cabin. Searching around some more, you spot him in line getting food. "I see him."
"Please don't harass the man," Somi begged you.
"Too late." You got up and walked to him. You really needed all this bad energy between the both of you to disappear. You weren't too sure about him, but it made every day difficult and you couldn't deal with it all summer. "Hey buddy," you said, tapping his shoulder.
"Didn't know we were friends."
The fake smile immediately turned into a frown. "Our conversation from last night isn't finished."
Mark groaned quietly as you followed his pace in the line. "Why do you keep bothering me if you don't like me?"
"I'm not bothering you, I'm trying to figure out what your deal is," you whisper yell. You followed Mark to his usual seat with the other male counselors, taking a seat right next to him. You were too focused on him to notice the confused stares you got from everyone else.
"Um, hey Y/N," Haechan greeted you awkwardly. "Is this…your new spot?"
"I came to talk to your friend if you don't mind."
"She's crazy," Mark blurted out, making the table laugh.
You smacked him on the arm, making him turn to you with the brightest smile you've seen all summer. And for some reason this was the first time you looked at him without feeling pure irritation. He was actually pretty…cute?
You couldn't look directly in the eyes, fearing that the anger you felt all morning would go away. Instead of speaking, you got up and went back to the table with Somi.
"So..what happened," she questioned.
"Nothing."
"You don't seem too upset by it," Somi observed.
"What..what are you talking about," you said, trying to deflect.
"You can't fool me, you're terrible at lying," she laughed. Somi took another bit of her pancake, but stopped laughing, giving you a look as if she found out something. "Do you like him?"
"Keep your voice down! And don't eat with your mouth full, you look like a damn kid."
"Y/N, do you like him?"
"Of course not! I can't stand the man," you deny.
Somi squints her eyes and side eyes you, but says nothing. You know she doesn't believe you, but it doesn't really matter because either way, you don't like him. "Okay..just know that today is your day to clean the kitchen."
"I know," you said with a sigh.
"And his also," she reminded you.
"Goodness kill me now."
-
You and Mark cleaned the dishes in the kitchen silently, not daring to say a word. There was an unspoken rule between the 2 of you at the moment, first person to speak surrenders to the other for the entire summer. You'll never surrender to him, no matter what it takes (that's what you want to believe anyway.) Mark had been stealing glances for about 30 minutes now, watching you clean meticulously and quietly. He always thought you were pretty, except for when you were being annoying that is. He always thought of himself as the bigger person, despite his childish nature, so he thought he should end this silent game sooner than expected.
"Did you get sleep," he asked.
"Why do you care?"
"I can't be concerned about my friend," he said. Mark chuckled softly when you sucked your teeth.
"Why do you insist on pissing me off," you say, turning to him. "Like I really don't understand why you don't like me. Since you came here last year, I've been nothing short of annoyed with you."
"It's never been my intention, but I just happen to strike those emotions in some women."
"What the fuck does that mean?" You put down the dirty dishes, crossing your arms as you looked at him with a brow raised.
"It means," he replied, turning to you, "that the more women are attracted to me, the less they like me."
You scoffed, getting back to cleaning the dishes. "You wish. You're out of your fucking mind."
"If I'm crazy, then what exactly was that earlier," he asked. You didn't know, but Mark definitely noticed how you backed off of him during breakfast. The way your expression changed, how quick you got up. It almost seemed like you were running from something, and he knew exactly what it was. "I know you like me."
"I don't like you. I just didn't want to talk to you in front of all your friends. They were laughing at me, so I left," you explained. Mark took two steps to you, his body ending up close to yours. You backed up a bit, not understanding why he was close to you, but he followed you again. "What are you doing?"
"Testing something out," he said simply.
"Look I don't know what you're testing but I'm busy. " Just as you moved away from him, he placed his arms beside you, trapping you under him. The both of you have never been this close before. Sure there were times where he had to catch you or hold you for activities in the forest, but there was nothing like this. This was close. This was personal.
"What are you doing," you asked, shock written all over your face.
"Standing here." Mark's lips curled into a smirk as his eyelids dropped once glancing at your lips. "You're pretty."
"Thank you but I really need to-"
"You know," he started,"you never told me what you wanted to talk about before you left the table."
You sighed, making a dramatic pained expression. "Mark, please. Can you back up?"
"No."
You looked up at him, surprised that his face was closer than before. One more move and your lips would've probably touched his. 'Why am I even thinking about that right now,' you thought to yourself.
"I know you wanna kiss me," he said almost in a whisper. Mark chuckled softly seeing the frazzled look on your face. You were so easy to read, always saying you didn't like him knowing damn well you wanted him. He just wanted to make you say it. He wanted to break your prideful attitude down and make you beg for him.
"You are saying insane things right now." You couldn't even look him in the eye, too afraid you would melt under his body. He was too close. You couldn't control your heart beat or your whirling mind. 'Maybe kissing him wouldn't be so bad,' you thought to yourself, but pushed the thought to the back of your head.
"But you didn't say I was wrong," he said, leaning into your neck.
"Mark, seriously." The slight whine in your voice made you want to run and hide from everyone. You felt like you were going to collapse into his hands the closer he got. His voice was so soft, but his presence was still so dominating. It was almost too much for you to bear.
"What would you do if I kissed you right now," he whispered in your ear, a smile on his face. "Would you push me away, take it and get mad, or maybe give me another one?"
You could barely look at him, let alone speak. You had no idea how to respond to him. You didn't even know if you were supposed to. But what you did know is that if he made one more move or said anything else, you would most likely lose your mind. "Mark, it's too early in the morning for this," you said practically begging him to stop.
Mark released his hand from the counter, placing it on your waist. His grip was firm as he pressed you against the counter more, body so close his leg was between yours. "You're not even trying to run at this point. You little liar."
"Mark..what if someone comes in here?"
"Let them. Why do you care? Are you scared," he teased. Mark kissed the spot behind your ear softly, making you gasp. Your body tensed up in his hand, causing him to rub small circles in your waist in an attempt to comfort you. He kept missing down your neck, moving back up to kiss your jawline.
You stood there, still as a tree. Your eyes fluttered shut, taking in the feeling of his lips on your skin. At this rate there was no point in fighting it. He had already won like he did with everyone else. You felt Mark's hand leave your waist, grabbing your chin as he ran his finger down your bottom lip.
"If you want me to stop I will."
You shook your head unconsciously, brows slightly frowning at his words. You were desperate and he definitely knew from the way you were frozen and speechless.
"Good girl." Mark kissed you softly, but deeply. His hand slowly made its way to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You dare to touch him, feeling like it was way too intimate. But before you could even pull away, he kissed you again, this time with even more sincerity. You didn't know why you had such a heavy feeling in your chest, but it did scare you a little bit.
"We have to finish all of this stuff in 15 minutes. You think we can make it," he asked on your lips.
"If you stop fast enough, maybe.."
Mark chuckled softly at your response, pulling away from you. He was clearly extremely turned on, but you were not the kind to help him with his problem, and he knew that. But that didn't stop his mind from drifting, thinking about how hot it would be if you dropped to your knees at this very moment.
"Wasn't that fun Y/N?"
"What are you talking about," you said, covering your face in embarrassment.
"Unwinding instead of having a stick up your ass," he jabbed.
You dropped your hands, scoffing at him. You shoved your way out of his arms, walking to the sink he was at previously. "Gosh, you're so annoying," you mumbled as you scrubbed the dirty plates.
"Yeah but you like it though."
"You wish."
"Proved my point."
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You and Mark haven't spoken since the kitchen fiasco. You said a couple of words to each other when it came to the kids, but nothing more than that. You couldn't even look at him, the shame filling your body once he came into your vision. But one thing was for sure- you definitely didn't hate him as much. You were still very confused. You didn't understand where all those feelings came from for Mark in the kitchen. Maybe your subconscious? It didn't really matter, you just wanted to make sense of everything.
"Okay everyone, tonight is movie night so we need to leave a little early okay," you announced.
Mark leaned on a tree silently watching you as you interacted with the kids. You didn't know that he had conflicting feelings as well. All the teasing and messing around turning into sexual tension was not what he hoped for. He just wanted to mess with you. He wasn't actually going to kiss you for real, but when he saw the desperate scrunch of your eyebrows, how could he resist himself? If it weren't for the kids, he would definitely have his way with you right on the ground, but nothing in his life ever works right.
Mark admired the way you were with them, always so nice and careful. You were careful with anything really, never wanting to come off as irresponsible or rude. But he never cared about any of that. He didn't care if people thought he was a prick or an ass, which is why you were so intriguing to him. He never got a chance to actually introduce himself to you before you can dislike him as easily as you did.
After 20 minutes of walking back to the main site, the sun had finally set and all the kids and counselors went back to their respective cabins before going to the lake for movie night.
"So you're telling me," Somi started,"after all these months of not liking him, he came onto you in the kitchen and you didn't refuse?"
"I know, I know it's humiliating," you grumbled putting on your shirt.
"Enemies to lovers. My favorite trope."
You let out a loud embarrassed groan listen to her words. "We only kissed twice. We didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the day," you added.
"Not even for your group," she questioned.
"Well of course we did, but very little. He was..so distant," you said. You slipped into your jean shorts and put your shoes back on quickly. "I'm gonna go make sure all the girls are ready." You got up and walked outside to see everyone playing around. Just as you were about to round up your cabin, you see Mark who's talking to some of his kids. You wanted to stop staring at him, but you couldn't. You gulped as he glanced at you, giving you a small wave. "I hate him," you muttered to yourself almost as if you were trying to convince yourself it was true.
You shake your head, attempting to push what happened out of the forefront of your mind, but it's hard to do that when he's walking up to you. You turn away from his direction, hastily gathering the girls from your cabin. Just as you were about to make your way to the lake, you were tapped on the shoulder. Turning around agonizingly slowly, you face him with a fake smile.
"Hi," you said awkwardly.
"Hey, so listen-"
"I can't talk right now, we're about to head to the lake," you interrupted.
"I know but-"
"Can't talk."
Mark sighed, looking down at his shoes. He knew you were difficult, but not like this. "Can we talk after the movie?"
"Talk..about what? There's nothing to talk about," you say dismissively.
Mark rolled his eyes, walking away from you. You looked behind yourself, watching him walk back with his hands in his pockets. All that you could hope for was him forgetting whatever conversation he wanted to have with you.
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Your cabin was the first to get to the lake while Mark's was the last like always. The movie started at 7, so thankfully for you, you could be left alone for 2 hours. You leaned against a tree as you watched the movie projected on the sheet quietly.
Unlike you, Mark was watching you silently, eyes never leaving your body as you stared at the screen. He knew you wanted nothing to do with him even after he kissed you, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He's never been in a situation like this before. Having to chase after you was starting to dampen his pride, but he liked it.
He watched as you whispered to Somi about something, not able to read your lips. Maybe he shouldn't have thought to follow you as you walked away from everyone, but getting to be alone with you came rare, so he had to take his chances.
"Hey, I'm gonna go back to the cabin. I forgot something," he whispered to Haechan.
"Okay, be quick though. I don't wanna be responsible for you," he replied.
Mark gave him a dry laugh and walked away, following you from behind. Mark picked up that you were going to your cabin after a few turns on the trail. The sun was starting to set, so he began to rationalize he weird actions to himself. "It's not weird that I'm following her," he muttered to himself quietly. "I'm just keeping her safe." It was surprising how you didn't notice anyone was following you. You were usually always attentive, but it seems that you were only that way with other people.
Soon enough, the both of you made it to your cabin. You went inside with a big sigh, letting the door slam behind you. Mark would be a kind person and knock on the doors but he wasn't all that kind, so scaring you is the option he went with. Mark quickly went up to the door, opening it quietly. Your back was turned as you rummaged through a bag for something, causing you to not hear his footsteps or the door creaking open.
"Boo!"
"Fuck," yelled, body jumping violently as you turned around. "Mark?"
"Surprise."
You scoffed rolling your eyes at his jazz hands motion. "You're not funny. Now get out, this is a girls cabin."
"I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to talk." He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as you went back to looking for whatever you were looking for.
"I really don't care, just leave," you said sternly.
Mark had enough of beating around the bush with you, the constant teasing, and asking dumb questions. He had to know why there was bad blood between you, especially after you let him kiss you that morning. "Why don't you like me?"
"You're kidding." You let out a dry laugh as you turned to face him. "I don't like you? I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."
"I'm just curious because since last year, you never gave me a chance, so I really want to know," he said, lifting his brows with a small smile.
"I want you to tell me why you don't like me first, then maybe I'll consider explaining myself to you."
Mark took small steps towards you, not being able to control the smirk on his face when you furrow your brows in confusion. "You're uptight and rude to me. And you never give me your attention unless it's to be rude with me, and I hate that that's the only way I get to talk to you. You only want to speak to me if it's to tell me how bad of a job I'm doing or how frustrating it is to be around me or work with me."
"That's not true, I-"
"I'm not done." You closed your mouth, intimidated by how commanding his voice was. "Then you go around and say to everyone how much you hate me. I know you complain to Somi and all the other counselors, and that's fine. But next time I would like to hear it from you directly."
"That I hate you?" You gave him a weird look, making him chuckle softly.
"Yes. Tell me that you hate me." He was walking closer to you slowly, arms now at his sides as he looked down at you with hungry eyes. Your arms were still crossed as you stood there, not allowing yourself to show how intimidating he was to you. Your face was calm, but your heart was beating faster with every step he took.
"I'm not telling you I hate you. Can I talk now," you asked.
"Go for it."
"You're fucking annoying and not helpful. You came into this camp last year and made all these friends and everyone liked you instantly. Everyone says you're funny and such a great guy but I have yet to see it. All you've done since you've been here was piss me off."
"You wanna know why," he said. He leaned down to your ear, a smile tugging at his lips. "Because you're pretty when you're angry."
"That's not funny," you said, looking away from him.
"I wasn't joking." Mark moved away from you, eyes going straight to your lips.
"Seriously mark, I don't care that you like to get me riled up, but yesterday was uncalled for. Do you have any idea…will you stop staring at me like that?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Mark could barely concentrate on what you were saying. Your expression, the way you spoke, how close the 2 of you were. All he wanted was to just kiss you and shut you up for the night. Mark could barely keep his hands off you, every bit of self restraint coursing through his veins.
You sighed trying to back up from him, but all you did was bump the edge of your bed making you fall back. You plopped on the thin mattress placing your hand behind you to stay balanced on the bed. Mark's gaze turned dangerous, staring at you as if you were prey.
"God you're so hot," he mumbled.
"Mark," you said, his name coming out a bit breathlessly.
Before you could finish your sentence, he pinned your body to the bed. You were dead silent as you watched his eyes move rapidly along your face and body. "Mark..we can't. We have to be back soon."
"Stop fighting it. Just say you want me," he mumbled quietly. He leaned into your neck, breath tickling your skin as you closed your eyes.
You shook your head, brows furrowing as you tried to push the feeling to the back of your head. But the only thing you can think about is how his hands are leaving your wrists as he moves them down your body. Your breath hitched when his fingertips brushed against the slightly exposed skin of your stomach. You didn't stop him as he lifted your shirt, hands attaching to waist firmly.
The both of you stayed silent, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of breathing and your old bed creaking at every movement he made. You watched him as he moved his hands lower, fingers resting on the button of your jean shorts. Mark looked at you for any signs of you wanting to stop, but all he saw was the desperation on your face.
You gulped watching him unbutton and unzip your shorts, lifting your hips as he tugged them off you. Mark took his shirt off, laying it next to your shorts. He hooked his fingers on your underwear, pulling them off you quickly. You let out a small yelp when he tugs you towards him, throwing your leg over his shoulder as he moves between your legs.
'Just get on with it,' was all you could think. You were way too eager to get him between your legs, and at this point, nothing was going to stop it. "Hurry up," you said, breaking the long silence.
Mark didn't say anything or look at you, all he did was smile as his face disappeared between your legs. A small gasp of please leaves your lips as he kitten licks your core. You close your eyes, letting your head fall back onto the mattress taking in every movement. He ran his hand up and down your leg, nails lightly scratching your skin making you shiver. Needing more friction, you begin to grind yourself on his tongue slowly, but he stops you with a hold on your hips.
"We're gonna do this nice and slow okay," he said.
"We can't, we have to get back soon."
"They'll be okay. There's more than enough people out there." Before you could say anything his mouth was back on your core, tongue pressing against your sensitive bud hard. Without thinking your hands made their way to his hair, fingers running through the blonde locks. Mark kept licking at you agonizingly slow, chuckling when you whined for more. He would speed up at moments, flicking his tongue against your clit faster just to tease you, then stop.
"Please," you begged breathlessly, "it feels like I'm being punished."
"I know," he mumbled.
You smacked him on the side of his head softly, making the male look up at you with a brow raised. "I fucking hate you."
Mark chuckled, removing one of his hands from your hip. He didn't take his eyes off of you as he slid two fingers into you, pumping them slowly. Mark watched as you basically fell apart in his hands, moans never stopped spilling from your lips. He began licking your clit, but faster, almost sending you over the edge.
"Shit, don't stop," you whined softly. You couldn't control your hips as you grinded against his fingers and tongue. Your jaw dropped when he fingered you faster. Gripping his hair, your hips moved on their own as you grinded faster. You were so close, your core pulsing on his fingers. "Fuck I'm gonna cum," you whined.
Your whines became louder, the pornographic sounds of your moaning, bed creaking, and sounds coming from Mark filling the empty cabin. This is one the many times you thanked God no one was around. Your eyes rolled back and body shuddered as your orgasm hit you like a truck making you mumble curses that not even Mark could make out. You let go of his hair, plopping back down on your mattress breathing heavily.
"I'm assuming that was the first time you came in a month?" Mark slid his fingers out of you slowly, wiping the digits on your sheets. He moved your leg off his shoulder, lifting himself from between your legs.
"Do you think I'm getting myself off after hiking and being around kids in this damn camp everyday," you asked, rolling your eyes at his statement.
"No. I think you're too uptight to do that," he said with a soft chuckle.
"It's crazy that you're still calling me uptight like I won't get up and leave."
Mark didn't respond to you, laughing softly to himself knowing you wouldn't move either way. He moved off the bed untying his sweats. You watched him as he let his clothes fall to the ground, eyeing his body. Not that you couldn't get it before, but now you see why he was a big deal to the other female counselors.
"Aren't we gonna use protection," you asked, gulping when he was back in front of you.
"I don't have any," he mumbled.
"You're so fucking ridiculous," you grumbled. "You're lucky I'm on birth control."
Mark could barely hear you with how eager he was to see you lose yourself for him. No amount of mean words or insults could turn him off in the moment, every word you spoke sounded like exactly what he needed to hear. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad." His lids dropped as he grabbed your ankles, pulling you closer to him.
"Don't tease, we don't have all night," you whined.
Mark couldn't take his eyes off you as he lined himself with you, slowly entering you with ease. You looked pretty under the light of the setting sun peering through the window. The light hit your eyes perfectly as they rolled back, soft moans leaving your lips at the same time. Mark thrusted into you slowly holding your waist firmly. He wanted to savor the moment, finally able to get you under him, because even though he had you now, he might not ever get you again. It was taking everything in him to not ram into you after every move not wanting it to end too quickly.
With the way he was looking at you you thought he was gonna eat you alive. And in all honesty you would let him. It was conflicting to you that all this pent up aggression towards him exploded into sex, but you were clearly not that conflicted. You would never tell him, but you had always been attracted to him and the kiss was just the tip of the iceberg.
He slid his hands up the back of your legs, pinning them to your chest as he thrusted into you faster. Your moans echoed in the empty cabin, not even thinking about if anyone could be near. "Feels so good," you moaned.
"Who's making you feel good?"
"Fuck..you are," you whined, eyes fluttering shut as you take in pleasure.
"Good girl," he cooed. Mark watched as you slipped your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit at the same place as his thrust. His fingers were constantly kneading your legs, leaving prints in your skin. "You're close aren't you baby?"
You nodded fast, looking at him with desperate eyes. "Kiss me.. please."
Mark didn't have to think twice. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss quite literally sticking his tongue down your throat. You sucked on the wet muscle, moaning loudly on his tongue every time he thrusted into you.
"Mark..fuck," you moaned softly. Mark took a hand off your leg, wrapping an arm on the small of your back pulling you closer to him. You kissed him again, moans and whimpers poured into his mouth.
Mark moaned softly against your lips as you squeezed around him, cumming on his length. You pulled away, your lewd sounds becoming louder as he didn't stop fucking you. Mark leaned down, kissing your neck messily as you clung onto his shoulder. Mark has never had this kind of passionate feeling with a person before. It was starting to feel like more than just a sexual attraction to him, maybe he did actually have feelings for you.
"Cum in me," you said cupping his face.
Mark looked at you, brows furrowing in uncertainty. "A-are you sure? I-"
"Please baby just cum for me," you mumbled, completely taken over by the pleasure spreading in your body. "Can you do that for me?"
"Anything for you," Mark breathed out. Your words went straight to his length, his pace speeding up as he felt himself closer to cumming.
Your jaw went slack, eyes rolling back as you felt another orgasm creeping up on you. "Y-you're gonna make me cum," you whimpered.
With just a few more thrust, both you and Mark came at the same time, loud moans and groans filling the space. Mark's body went limp, laying on top of you with his face buried on the side of your neck. No one said anything for a minute, just laid there in each other's embrace trying to catch your breaths.
"I guess you don't hate me after all," Mark joked, breaking the silence.
"Only a little less."
Mark snickered as pulled himself out of you slowly. "Let's get you something to clean up with." He got up and pulled his boxers and pants on. You were sure it was because you just had sex with him, but the way you looked at him was different now. Before you were completely annoyed by his presence, but now even the little faces he made were endearing. Of course, Mark would never stop being an infuriating person to talk to but maybe you like talking to him. Maybe you liked being around him this whole time.
"If you want to go for round 2 just say it." Mark walked back to you with tissues, handing them to you with a smile. He chuckled softly when you gave him a frown for his comment. "Back to hating me I guess."
"I don't hate you Mark," you admit. The words felt unnatural to you, but they were the truth. You don't hate him, and you don't think you ever did.
"I'd like it if you did though," he said, sitting on the edge of your bed. "If what we just did considered hate fucking, please hate me more."
You rolled your eyes, tossing the dirty tissues in the trash bin across the room. "Who said it was gonna happen again?" Mark watched you closely as you shimmied back into your underwear and shorts. "What? Is there something on my face?"
"Yeah." He stood up, pulling you to him, making you gasp softly. Mark kissed you deeply, smiling against your lips when you kissed him back. "We should get back. I think we've been gone too long," he mumbled.
You nodded, kissing him one more time before he pulled away from you agonizingly slow. "Please don't be weird when we get back. I don't want to have to hate you again," you joked.
"Didn't I just tell you I want you to hate me more?"
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"What do you mean you fucked him last night," Somi whisper yelled.
"Yeah..I did..right on the bed you're sitting on."
"Ew ew ew." She shot up from your bed with a frown on her face, making you laugh loudly. "Seriously what is wrong with you, why didn't you say that before I sat down?"
"Thought your reaction would be funny, and it was," you'd aid giggling.
Somi looked at you with disgust on her face, dusting off her body. "Anyways…are you guys like..a thing now?"
"I don't know. I don't think so," you answered.
"Well do you wanna be a thing?"
"Well..I think I do," you admitted. "But I don't know him that well, you know. All I did was have sex with him. What if he doesn't want anything," you said.
"You want me to be honest?"
"Please do."
"I think you should go talk to him. Like right now," she suggested.
"Now? I don't even know if he's in his cabin," you stated.
"Just go. If he's not there, go back another time. You should talk to him while your feelings are still fresh," she suggested.
Somi was right. Even though you thought it was still a bit early to talk to him, you couldn't stop thinking about him all day and all night. Throughout the day, the both of you kept stealing glances, staring at each other but not saying a word. It's been hard trying to keep your bubbling feelings for him at bay, especially when you're working so close for the summer. But Somi was right, it wouldn't hurt to try.
You nodded, sighing softly. "You're right. I should go." You turned walking to the door, but when you opened it, Mark was standing there, hand up like he was about to knock.
"Oh," you said, surprised. "Hi."
"Hey," he said, looking everywhere but at you. "Can I, um, talk to you?"
"Uh, yeah. You wanna talk here or.."
"Just walk with me. Please?" You've never seen him so nervous or unsure before. It was kind of cute. You agreed, leaving the cabin and walking along the trail with Mark.
The first couple of minutes were silent. Neither one of you said anything. The only thing that could be heard were the sounds of your feet on the dirt trial and the laughter of children from afar. But it wasn't an awkward kind of silence. It felt comfortable, he felt comfortable and warm.
"I really like you Y/N," he started. "And I know it might be weird for you, but I just felt like you had to hear it."
His words went straight to your heart, making it beat faster with every syllable. You blinked fast, not really knowing how to respond. You were afraid of coming into him too strongly, saying something that would scare him away, but you had to say something.
"I..like you too," you confessed. Your face was beginning to heat up, palms becoming clammy from the nervousness. You haven't been like this since middle school, all shy and nervous.
"So..where should we go from here?" Mark raised a brow and looked at you. You glanced at him quick enough to not want to run away from the situation all together. He grabbed your hand, making you pause mid step. Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it at this point, and you were sure he could too.
"I, uh, I don't know," you stuttered.
Mark chuckled, clasping his fingers with yours. "I've never seen you so nervous."
"I'm not nervous." You don't know who exactly you were trying to prove that too, but it definitely wasn't him because as soon as you spoke he laughed.
"I think we should start over this summer," he said. "I think we should meet each other for the first time again."
You looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," he started, turning to you. He stopped walking and tugged your hand to look at him. "I mean we should start again from a clean slate. I want to get to know you better on a good note, but only if you're willing."
You gulped looking down at your feet. You must've looked like a kid with the way mark was smiling down at you. "I..I would like that. I'd like that a lot actually." You looked at him, expression going from shy to worriedm. "I'm sorry for y'know being rude and everything."
Mark didn't say anything, allowing your words to linger for a moment before he leaned down and kissed you. The kiss was softer this time, more innocent. Mark pulled away with a small smile on his face. "You don't have to apologize to me for anything. I know I've been an ass, and I'm willing to make up for it."
It was hard to keep a smile off your face and stop yourself from blushing like a kid. "If we do this, will you stop talking to me once we're out of here," you asked.
"Y/N when I said I liked you I was serious. I don't want this to be a summer fling. I actually want to get to know you before I date you," he explained.
Your eyes went wide, completely flustered from his statement. "You want to date me?" Your heart fluttered repeating his words almost immediately, getting butterflies in your stomach. "But I've been so terrible to you and-"
"So? We like each other and we should explore that this summer."
You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. You let go of his hand and placed it on the back of his neck, kissing him. This was the first time you kissed him. And it felt good. It felt good knowing that you didn't have to keep trying to convince yourself you didn't like him, or that you were never attracted to him. You pulled away, eyes never leaving the man in front of you. You didn't know if this conversation would make a difference for the rest of the day or the rest of the summers, but if Mark was true to a hate he said, you could wait.
But if not, then maybe you just might hate him for real.
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callmegaith · 9 months
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The only thing ineffable bureaucracy showed me is how hyper focused this fanbase is at seeing one thing and one thing only and everything else is a result of that one thing
1) no, Beelzebub and Gabriel are not a straight couple. Nor is Crowley and Aziraphale a gay couple. Stop the non-binary erasure or go outside and talk to an actual non-binary person cuz clearly you have no clue what non-binary is "they're straight presenting" wtf? If you think that please give me your name so I can block you. Cis people, I fucking swear.
Reminder that Beelz used they/them pronouns btw. Sorry that Beelzebub doesn't "pass" for you, it doesn't make them any less non-binary. Not to mention it was stated and already IS CANON that none of them have genders. They're god damn demons and angels, bruh.
2) "it's Gabriel's and Beelz's fault that ineffable husbands didn't get their happy ending": no. It's their own damn fault for not communicating and Aziraphale's inability to accept Crowley as he is. Gabriel and Beelzebub put each other first. Y'all sound salty as hell cuz two people managed to work their relationship out and yours didn't work out. "But if they didn't get together---" y'all really saying shit like this??? Do you hear yourself? That's so sad. Wishing for the doom of one LGBTQ+ ship cuz the other fucked themselves over. THEY CAN BOTH CO-EXIST. And you know what? They will. Cuz Ineffable husbands is clearly canon, the story just wants time with them cuz they're the main characters, not like Beelz and Gabriel who were side characters so had their story summarized.
3) "that should have been ineffable husbands" no, cuz Crowley and Aziraphale aren't Gabriel and Beelzebub. They're different characters with different backgrounds, personalities, relationship structure, and different relationship dynamic in general. They'll get together in a way that fits THEM. And that way requires ups and downs that makes them finally understand that they're perfect for each other without the need for either of them to change.
4) Gabriel was such an asshole wish Crowley got his revenge and--- bla bla BLA : Crowley was happy for them. You hold a grudge over Gabriel that Crowley himself doesn't. Y'all worse than a literal demon. Smh.
Be happy for what we got and look forward to the future where ineffable husbands will certainly become canon and it'll be worth the wait. Don't tear down the LGBTQ+ presentation we got just cuz the main ship didn't get the limelight THIS TIME.
Let things cook, that's how writing WORKS.
But I'm just an Agender demi person and tbh? I would prefer if things took their time.
I love both ships a lot but I'm not gonna hold pitchforks over one ship getting a happy end and one still developing. Come next season, that happy end for Gaberiel and Beelzebub might not last. We DONT KNOW. Do we really need to sacrifice one for the other? Why can't we be happy to have both?
Just really think the vibe of the fanbase rn fuckin SUCKS and I'm not enjoying trying to go through the ineffable bureaucracy tag and seeing people complaining about how it should have been ineffable husbands or how it's their fault.
Okay? Alright.
After this imma start blocking ppl I swear. Just had to throw in my two cents.
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fandomxpreferences · 11 months
Text
I Hate You. Now Shut Up and Kiss Me.
Masterlist
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x BarrysSister!Reader
TW:frenemies to lovers, angst, fluff, I don't think there's really any warnings tbh
Summary: You and Rafe have been frenemies for years. Until something changes.
Word Count:3.9k
A/N: I feel like this sucks ass but its written so its getting posted
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"What's good, Country Club?"
Rafe smirks down at you, excitement coursing through him as the two of you play your little game. 
"It's Mr. Country Club to you."
You snort and roll your eyes, your sneakers squeaking on the hardwood as you turn your attention to Topper. Your eyebrow quirks and satisfaction blooms in your chest when he squirms under your gaze.
"Knock off Country Club." You tilt your head in acknowledgment and suppress a laugh bubbling up your throat when he scrunches up his nose.
"God, you really are Barry's sister."
You ignore him and turn back to Rafe, ready to get down to business. 
"What are your vineyard vines looking asses doing here? You're stinking up the joint with your rank cologne. What'd you do? Dump the entire bottle on your shirt?"
His cerulean irises twinkle as he takes a step forward, close enough now that you can feel the heat radiating off of his toned body. Your stomach flips when his minty breath fans over your face, and you struggle to keep your composure.
"Stop being mean to me or I'm gonna fall in love with you."
Your lip curls up and you trace your finger from his collarbone to the waistband of his shorts. 
"We both know you've been in love with me for years, baby boy."
Rafe's face drops for a split second, but his boyish grin returns as quickly as it left. The way his Adam's apple bobs is tantalizing, and your tongue darts out to wet your lips. 
"In your dreams."
Your bottom lip juts out and you tilt your head to the side, a snarky retort on the tip of your tongue. 
"Are you sure those aren't your dreams, J.Crew?"
Rafe does his best to hide the effect you have on him as your sinful gaze meets his through your lashes, but the blush staining his cheeks gives him away.
"Wha- No. Of course not."
Your face splits into a shit-eating grin as realization dawns on you, a mischievous sparkle in your eye that Rafe would recognize from a mile away. You remind him of a kid on Christmas morning and he knows he just buried himself in a hole he can't climb out of. 
"You dream about me huh, golden boy?"
Butterflies erupt in his stomach; whether it's from hate or the little crush he swears he doesn't have, he isn't sure. 
"Whatever. I'm looking for your brother."
Your eyebrows shoot up at his sharp tone, and your arms cross over your chest as you stick a hip out. 
"Barrys…busy. So whatever it is you need, you're gonna have to deal with me."
His hand rubs against the back of his neck absentmindedly as he looks around. 
"Yeah, I don't want to get you involved. Just tell him I need to see him."
This grabs your attention and you move to block his path when he tries to leave. 
"Not so fast money bags. What have you gotten yourself into? Don't go dragging my brother into more of your bullshit."
He stares down at you for a second, smirking at your defiant nature. As much as he hates it, he can't deny the way it makes his spine tingle. 
Truthfully, he's a little scared of you and it turns him on. You couldn't waterboard that information out of him with gasoline though, and he bends down so his lips are millimeters from the shell of your ear. 
"Don't worry about me, pretty girl. I'll be safe, I promise."
Your nose scrunches up at the pet name and you take a step back 
"I'm not worried about you, asshole. I'm worried about my brother."
His lips form a mocking pout as he nods, and your eyes narrow. 
"Sure, sweetheart. Tell your brother to call me."
He picks you up and moves you to the side before leaving, grinning when he feels you staring daggers into the back of his head. 
The next morning you're awoken by knuckles rapping on the screen door and toss the blanket off with a huff before stomping to see who it is. You rip the door open, ready to cuss out whoever is on your doorstep when you stop. 
None other than Rafe Cameron is looking back at you, fresh-faced with bright eyes. His gaze rakes over your form, taking in your tangled hair and smudged mascara. 
He stops for a moment when he sees your pajama shorts that leave little to the imagination before returning his eyes to yours. 
"Morning sunshine."
You scowl, hand rubbing at your eye aggressively as you try to wake up, and his lip quirks. It's still early enough for the grass to be covered in dew as the birds chirp; the type of serene that makes you want to curl up with a book in a hammock.
"I swear you get uglier every time I see you."
His hand comes to rest over his heart, eyes gleaming as he revels in the banter. 
"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
You roll your eyes, decidedly too tired to deal with this and yawn. 
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
His hands shove into his pockets, a nonchalant pose that makes your blood boil; it pisses you off that he looks so good without even trying.
"Told you I need to see Barry."
You stare back at him with a blank face, far from pleased with his answer. 
"You need to see him at.." You lean back to look at the clock on the stove and frown. "7:30 in the morning? Who the fuck is even up and ready to do anything except shotgun an energy drink this early?"
He chuckles at your grumpiness and shrugs. 
"Me, obviously. I know it's early but try and use your big girl brain. Is he here?"
Your eyes narrow at his dig, and you almost slam the door in his face before deciding against it. Rafe is a pest you can't get rid of, and you know he'll just keep knocking until he gets what he wants. 
"Barry! Get the fuck up!" 
Rafe winces at your volume and you raise your eyebrows. 
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did my loudness disturb you?"
You hear your brother's muffled voice asking you what you want and close your eyes in annoyance. 
"Country Club is here to see you. Apparently, it's important enough to be here before God is awake."
There's swearing from your brother's room as he gets up, and you take a step back to let him in the door frame when he finally rises from the dead. 
"You can't just show up whenever you want, bruh. You're getting way too comfortable. Why do you need me anyway? She can more than handle your ass."
Your brother's voice is still thick with sleep, and you lean back on the arm of the couch as you listen to the interaction. 
"I'm not so sure she could. Anyway, I have a problem and I need your help."
Barry sucks his teeth and scoffs, seconds away from crawling back into bed. 
"Man, I don't give a fuck about your little figure eight problems. Do I like a god damn therapist? Figure it out, bruh."
The door is half shut when Rafe's voice rings out again, and Barry stops. 
"I'll pay you."
You heave a sigh as your brother takes a step outside. One thing about Barry, if there's money involved he'll listen. He'll do anything for a price. 
Their voices are faint as they talk, and you strain trying to eavesdrop. You're not able to make out any real words and decide to just crawl back into bed. You prop up on one elbow when you hear him come back inside, curiosity getting the best of you. 
"What the fuck was that about?"
Barry casts you a sideways glance as he passes, tossing a wad of cash on the table in the process. 
"Nah, you're sitting this one out, sis. I don't want you caught up in this."
You jump up and follow him, hot on his heels as he makes his way back to his bedroom. 
"Rafe said the same thing. I expect it from him, but you? Barry, we're always partners. If you're caught up, then so am I."
He chuckles lowly with his back still turned, and shakes his head. 
"Not this time."
As if he can tell you're about to argue, he speaks again. 
"Just fucking drop it, Y/N. Aight? Trust me."
You tap your foot a couple of times before resigning to the fact he's not going to tell you and turn on your heel. 
"Yeah, whatever."
Later that day, you spot Rafe and storm up to him. His eyebrows shoot up when your finger jabs into his chest and he stops, his drink almost sloshing out of the cup at the sudden force. 
"Listen, Cameron. I'm not some weak girl that can't handle whatever the fuck you have going on. I don't need you to protect me. So what the hell are you getting my brother into?"
You can see the gears turning in his head and scoff. 
"Don't even think about lying to me right now, Rafe."
He pinches the bridge of his nose with his head tilted back, and you try your best not to linger on the way his jawline is sharp enough to cut steel. 
"Look, it's not that I think you're fragile or that you can't be trusted. It's just better if there are less people involved."
You falter for a moment, taken aback by his honesty and the genuine distress in his voice. 
"What the hell is going on, Rafe? I've never seen you like this."
For a moment, the ruse falls and you're filled with concern. Rafe doesn't get shaken up, so whatever has him this worked up must be really bad. 
"Listen, I know we're not friends. Hell, we're practically enemies. But whatever you hear on the news, just know what they're saying about me isn't true."
He leaves it at that, and you watch as he walks away. What the hell does that mean?
Two days later, your question is answered. You stare at the TV slack-jawed with wide eyes as Shoupe gives a statement about Rafe's arrest. Something about him killing someone; you aren't sure of the exact details. Your brain is too busy putting the pieces together to really pay attention. 
Barry walks out and stops when he sees what you're watching, his head dropping. 
"Is this what Rafe was here about the other morning?"
His words ring in your ears as you try to make sense of the new information. 'Whatever they're saying about me isn't true.'
You can tell by the way your brother shifts that you're right, and you release a shaky breath. 
"Barry, what was the money for?"
He knows you're more so demanding rather than asking, and plops down in the armchair. 
"A fall guy."
The revelation nearly sucks the wind out of your lungs, and your hand runs through your hair. 
"So he did it?"
Barry shakes his head, his hand coming up to rub over his face. 
"I don't know, man. He says he didn't, but who knows with that crazy motherfucker."
You ponder his words for a moment, genuinely at a loss. Rafe is a lot of things, but a murderer? You just can't bring yourself to believe it.
"Someone innocent wouldn't need a fall guy."
Your own statement hits you like a train, and your eyes flutter closed. You suppose it doesn't matter either way. Someone like Rafe won't go down for something like this, even without a fall guy. People with money are always above the law. 
Rafe is a particular brand of danger; he has wealth and power. The two combined make him practically untouchable.
"How did they catch him, anyway? He could've been out of the country before they even realized."
Your brother sucks in a sharp breath, and your eyes narrow.
"Someone must have turned him in. There was a hefty reward."
You stay silent for a moment, your eyes darting back and forth as you put two and two together. 
"Barry, tell me it wasn't you."
The air is thick as he averts his gaze, and you launch up from your seat. 
"You can't be that stupid, bro! You double-crossed a Cameron? As soon as he gets out, we're gonna be the first people he comes after!"
Barry stands, his face mere inches from yours as he glowers down at you. 
"He was gonna get out anyway, and we need the money!"
You shake your head in disbelief at your brother's idiocy. 
"Barry, it doesn't matter! You broke the trust and he's not gonna let that slide. Even if he does, he'll sure as shit never work with you again, which means no more big payouts. You think the reward was more than what we would have made from all of Rafe's side deals?"
You see the moment he realizes you're right and scoff, aware he's too stubborn to admit it. 
"You're unbelievable."
A week later, Rafe is a free man exonerated from all wrongdoing. Turns out he didn't even need the fall guy because he was truly innocent. Apparently, he just likes to have all his bases covered. Against your better judgment you seek him out, and much to your surprise his gaze is soft when it meets yours. 
"Hey, country club."
His face breaks out in a roguish grin as he nods in greeting, and you wring your hands together. 
"Hey, trouble."
You gulp, nerves eating at you as you run through all the different ways this could go. 
"Listen, I need you to know that the shit my brother pulled? I had nothing to do with that. I'm not that dumb. I would have stopped him if I knew about it. We may not be friends, but I would have never betrayed you for money. Whatever you're planning, that shit is between you and him."
His intense gaze is locked on yours, and you silently pray that he believes you. You release a breath you didn't know you were holding when he nods, and nearly cry from relief. 
"I know."
You tsk and force a small smile, trying to conceal your anxiety. 
"So we're good?"
His finger traces along your jaw at a languid pace before stopping at your chin, and your breath hitches.
"Yeah, sweetheart. We're good. Tell your brother he's lucky you're his sister. It's the only reason he's still breathing." 
He doesn't give you a chance to respond and you're left wondering what the hell he means for the second time.
It's two weeks of radio silence after your little run-in. You haven't seen Rafe and as you predicted, he's stopped showing up with random jobs. It's not until your phone rings for the third time at nearly 2 am that you hear from him. 
Your hand reaches out and blindly flops around trying to find the device, ready to chuck it at the wall. You lazily open one eye to peek at the caller ID and sit up fast enough to see stars when you read 'Country Club'. 
Your finger swipes to answer and you press the speaker to your ear, waiting for him to start speaking. Rafe is always going a hundred miles an hour right off the bat, rarely giving you a chance to greet him before he launches into his latest opportunity he just has to tell you about. 
When he doesn't talk, you frown and break the silence.
"I was wondering when you were gonna call. There's been a distinct lack of daggers to my throat lately."
If it wasn't for the labored breathing on the other end, you would think he hung up, and it's another thirty seconds before you speak again. 
"Rafe? Is everything okay?"
He sounds like he's struggling, and you don't quite understand the feeling that bubbles up inside you. Sure, you give Rafe a hard time and the two of you have your bickering. However, if anyone else were to hurt him in any capacity you're fairly certain you would kill them with your bare hands. 
It's quiet for another beat and once he finally replies, your heart stutters. 
"I didn't have anyone else to call."
You scowl at this; surely the kook king has someone in his circle other than a low-level drug dealer he can rely on. He's always surrounded by people, and it's just now occurring to you that maybe none of them are true friends. How lonely it must be to only have superficial relationships based on status and how they can further your reputation. 
"For what? What happened?"
You're fully awake now, your chest tight as you think about all the possibilities. 
"It's nothing, actually. I'll let you get back to sleep, I'm sure you're tired."
Panic surges through you when you realize he's about to hang up and your voice rings out more frantic than you were expecting. 
"I'm fine, don't worry about me. Where are you?"
You hear him sigh and can almost picture the frown lines on his pensive face. 
"The docks. I just needed some air. Listen, I'm really sorry for bothering you. This crosses so many lines and you already hate me."
There's an underlying sadness as he finishes his sentence that makes your stomach turn, and you shake your head despite the fact he can't see you. 
"I don't hate you, Rafe."
You're about to elaborate when he sniffles, and something in you shatters at the realization that he's crying alone in the dark. 
"Thanks for picking up. I'll see you around."
He ends the call before you can say anything else, and without thinking you're on your feet and grabbing your keys. 
The docks are dimly lit as you walk around, trying to figure out where the hell he is. Your eyes land on the Druthers with a single light on and you make your way towards it. 
Rafe is laying on his back when you finally see him, a half-empty bottle of scotch next to his torso. He lifts his head when he hears your footsteps, shock painted on his features. 
"You came?"
The notion is almost ridiculous to you. You've been playing this cat-and-mouse game for years; you thought that he'd surely figured out you truly care for him by now, even if you try to act like you don't. 
"You called. Of course, I came. What's going on?"
A cool breeze whips around you as you loom over him, hands in your back pockets as you wait for him to open up. You can smell the faint aroma of whiskey mixed with salt water, and you can't help but think it's distinctly Rafe. 
You heave a sigh, legs coming in contact with the cold deck of the yacht as you sit cross-legged by his side. 
Out of pure instinct, your soft hand thumbs away a tear that's streaking down Rafe's face toward his hairline, and If you didn't know any better you'd think he leaned into your touch.
"Come on, trust fund. Spill."
His lip quirks a bit at the nickname, grateful that you're not treating him like glass. There's a comforting air around you, yet it still feels normal as you tease him. It's disarming, and he finds the barbed wire embedded in his heart starting to loosen. 
"Just another fight with my dad. Nothing I ever do is good enough."
You hum in understanding, the hand still resting on his face now smoothing over his buzzcut.
"I'm not going anywhere. Tell me about it."
You mean it; Jesus Christ himself could tell you to walk away and you'd stay planted firmly in place. The tides have shifted, and the last place you want to be is anywhere the Rafe isn't. 
"He just puts so much pressure on me. Bullshit about how I'm going to the man in charge when he's retired. One day I'm his pride and joy, the next I'm a disgrace. I'm tired of trying."
You gnaw on the inside of your cheek, unsure which direction to take this. Is he wanting you to give him advice and tell him Ward is a piece of shit? 
Or is he wanting you to tell him everything is going to be okay and to take it with a grain of salt? You're not sure you can bring yourself to say the latter. 
"Listen, Ward is a greedy self-serving asshole who doesn't think about anyone other than himself. You're his only son, which means he's harder on you and that isn't fair. Truthfully, he's probably projecting because he sees that you're capable of being everything he isn't. He's intimidated because you can take his spot."
The look in Rafe's eyes as he peers up at you is intense, a new emotion you haven't seen before swirling in his ocean irises. He seems to be coming to a realization, most likely the same one as you as the words roll off your tongue. 
You move to lay beside him, your arm propped under your head as you rest on your side. He can't help but notice how your hair is spread out like a halo, the intoxicating scent of lavender and tanning oil seeping into his bones. 
"Do you really believe that?"
You stare directly into his soul, trying to make him feel that yes, you really do. 
"I believe that you just want his approval. I also believe that you have to stop needing it in order to be happy. Fuck what your dad thinks. He's not the one that has to look back on your life at the end and make peace with the life you chose. Live for yourself; no one else matters."
Your voice is soft and whispy, dripping over him like a melting ice cream cone on a hot summer day. He frowns, and you resist the urge to smooth out the lines it causes between his brows.
"You matter."
Your eyes dart down to his lips for a moment, a light sheen on the plump flesh from where he's been licking them. You see him gulp, his mouth parting at the sudden lust in your eyes. 
"You seem nervous, Country Club. Do I make you nervous?"
Your voice is barely above a whisper, scared to break the trance you're both in. 
"A good nervous."
His tone is equally soft, your bodies now nearly touching as you subconsciously shift toward each other. You don't bother responding; no more words are needed. 
Time stands still as you both lean in and your brain short circuits when his lips touch yours for the first time. Years of pining and faux hatred are spilled into the kiss, your emotions running rampant as everything finally comes to a head. 
His tongue runs across your bottom lip, and you grant him access, nearly moaning at the taste. It's expensive scotch mixed with spearmint, a heavenly combination that you would never expect to love.
His hand tangles in the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling you impossibly closer as you move to straddle his waist. You stay there for several minutes, just soaking each other in as the world melts away. 
He finally pulls away breathless, lips bruised in the most beautiful way, and blinks up at you. 
"Still think I'm ugly?"
You nod your head, trying to catch your breath as you stare at his mouth. 
"The ugliest."
@veescorneroftheworld. @genius2050
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AITA for pretending to be sick in order to skip school even though I'm making my parents worried?
(I'm submitting this on a Monday. fuck Mondays btw.)
I (15M) am the only child of both of my parents (42F, 44M) and even though I love them and they love me, I feel like they don't really get me. since I was like 12 or so I started getting bullied by my classmates bc, essentially, I have "childish" interests (I like Adventure Time and video-games. my classmates need to realize we're technically still kids, but nooo they're not teenagers they're "Young Adults" and "Too Cool" to like anything remotely childish) and whenever I've tried to tell my parents that I'm experiencing bullying, they somehow end up thinking that I just don't want to go to school bc I'm lazy. I know being a parent is probably not easy but. what the fuck.
from my own experience I've noticed male and female bullies use different methods - guys hit me and use brute force against me while girls say hurtful things to me. one of the guys who bullies me, let's call him DH which stands for Dickhead (15M), is also extremely popular for some reason. he's very tall, very strong and he always uses that against me (I'm almost as tall as DH but I'm just lanky). he bullies anyone who is "beneath him" lol everybody bow down to the king of the fucking world.
today DH was making a scene at recess bc his girlfriend (15F) was wearing a skirt that was too short according to him. he was so mad at her that people were starting to form a circle around them. since DH is so popular people really respect his gf but they clearly respect him more bc today no one tried to help her. I don't respect DH, because he's a dickhead, so I stepped in and said something like "c'mon man what the hell, there's no need to humiliate your girlfriend like this, leave her alone". DH was pissed. he heatedly said that just because no girl will ever want to date me, that doesn't give me the right to tell other guys how to handle their relationships and their girlfriends. he got rlly mad and clearly he wanted to hit me so I ran like hell and proceeded to hide from him for the rest of recess. I felt like a little bitch tbh. DH always makes me feel like a little bitch.
before classes started again his gf found me and talked to me for like 5 minutes. she said I don't know DH like she does and that he's actually a really good boyfriend (HA, sure) and that I would be more liked and popular if I wanted to be, but it's "not normal" that I watch Adventure Time at 15. she also told me that DH intends to beat the shit out of me tomorrow. he said he'll "kill me" and ngl he has the physical strength to do so. this made me shit my fucking pants so today as soon as I got home I decided to pretend I was sick since I can be pretty good at acting. I told my parents I had a headache, I started fake-coughing, I said I felt really tired. I even managed to look pale on purpose by thinking of how fucking scared I was of DH and what he might do to me, and I raised the temperature of the thermometer by rubbing it against the fabric of my sweatshirt.
apparently I was so convincing that my parents agreed to let me skip class tomorrow and they even said I can skip it for the rest of the week if I don't improve (tbh I think I won't "improve" if you know what I mean) and I could see they were worried. this is the reason why I feel like an asshole. at the end of the day I'm making my parents worried, I'm lying about my health and I feel kinda guilty. but I'm too scared, and if I tell them the truth they'll just tell me to "man up" or they'll think once again that I'm just too lazy to want to attend school.
anyway. Adventure Time rocks 🤘🏻
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A more detailed response is under the cut if you're interested/want to know what prompted this random ass post:
Just wanted to make a few things clear after I received this anon:
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And that anon won't see this post unless they access my page from a different account because - you guessed it! - I blocked them. I have zero issues blocking people, but I don't do it without reason. (This is also assuming your blog doesn't look like a straight up bot, which I automatically block.) If you don't want to run the risk of being blocked by me, it's actually pretty simple:
Don't have shitty takes - like equating kinks to p3d0philia. If I had to guess, I'd say about 90% of my block list is people who have supported or run rampant with some bullshit kink=pedo narrative. This in particular is something I take issue with on a very deep level and will almost always block people over.
Don't steal people's work and/or pass it off as your own (this also includes "transforming" someone's original work without their express permission).
Don't engage with AI chatbots; I think they're weird, inherently devalue the work of human creators, and create a "content farm" mentality to fandom that fucking blows chunks. There have also been SO MANY instances of some asshole feeding a fic into a chatbot without permission that I don't think anyone can really engage with them without the probability that it involves to some degree a stolen work. If using chatbots is more important than avoiding something that has many times over negatively impacted a fic writer, then I don't think you deserve to read fic tbh.
Don't go around being a disingenuous, opportunistic asshole aka I have seen your username pop up several times piling onto whatever the drama of the week is. It's giving parasite. It's giving acting in bad faith. It's giving I need attention on the internet. It's giving clout chaser and trying to gain followers by riding the coattails of drama.
If any of those reasons/explanations seem extreme or over the top to you, you might want to reevaluate how you interact with creators on here. There's a reason why so many have been leaving the space entirely. Some have taken their works to AO3 because of the plagiarism issues or morality police brigading their page and asks (almost always on anon ofc). Some have decided to take down their blogs altogether because it's not worth it anymore.
There's a give and a take with fandom, and so many have lost the fucking plot. I'm not going to spend time, energy, and thought towards my fics just so some random asshole on the internet can try to dictate how and when my work should be used/enjoyed. I'm also not going to let someone who either is a bad person or acts like a bad person would have access to my shit. If you want to be a shitty person, you don't get the luxury of engaging with my blog or my works. Plain and simple. Tbh more people need to call out the bullshit or actively block accounts that do these things because it has created a really tiresome, hostile space.
I owe you nothing, anon, and I make zero apologies for curating my space and experience on this site. If I blocked you, it was for a reason.
catch ya later, ♥Puddles♥
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doraambrose · 2 months
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Hey! What do you think about friendship between Roy Harper and Jason Todd? I'm not a big comics nerd, but recently started diving deeper into the dc fandom and reading more comics, I really enjoyed their friendship, but I read a post somewhere another day saying that their friendship doesn't really make sense because they didn't really interact before rhato and have a significant age gap... and even had a fight or something? Just was wondering if you could recommend comics that give more info on their relationship? And what's you personal opinion?
Hello friend! Thanks for the ask.
I have to warn that I have some pretty strong but kind of ignorant feelings about this (I don't know much about Roy harper pre n52)
So comic wise- yes, they're friendship was very random. Pre n52, my very limited knowledge of Roy is that he was a justice league member, did drugs, had a baby with Cheshire named Lian, and was a member of the og teen titans with Dick as Speedy. Jason was robin and then redhood, but the redhood who was definitely more antihero and not basically a batfam member like he is now. Then out of nowhere in RHATO, jason is talking about how Roy is the best friend he could ask for with absolutely no context whatsoever. The Outsiders #46 is the only pre-n52 panel with the two of them together:
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In terms of age gap, I'm pretty sure jason and Roy have about the same age gap as jason and dick. But the age gap is something that should bother anyone. I am 20, but most of my friends from work and school are in their mid 20s and even 30s. We get along great and age hasn't been something that has ever impacted our friendship. In terms of a fight, I don't know much about that. They had a falling out at the end of redhood/arsenal, but they seemed fine in RHATO rebirth.
For recommendations, all their comics together are pretty shit tbh. But All RHATO new 52 has them together, but it sucks ass. Redhood/arsenal should be skipped. RHATO rebirth annual 2 is probably the best you're gonna get next to the webtoon.
Okay, my personal opinion, I HATE Roy and jason. I can't stand Roy Harper from what I've seen. And even what I've seen pre-n52, he's kind of a dick.
In New 52, I know his character was stripped from him to make jason look good and that's a whole other discussion, but, he's a fucking idiot. He's selfish, impulsive, and he started listening to Jason's phone. And he was even worse in redhood/arsenal, SO SELFISH and so controlling and he would make decisions, including pimping jason out as a rent-a-hero and spending all their money, without any discussion but couldn't understand why he would be upset about that. He's just an asshole. I have no idea why he and jason would be friends at all. I despise JayRoy. Its so toxic.
Anyway, thanks for the ask!
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restinslices · 3 months
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We going fluffy for a lil? YAY! Can I request EarthRealm guys being dads for the first time?
This is longer than what the Earthrealm guys typically get. Usually they all get around 200 words because writing for them takes longer because it’s 5, but this was so cute I got carried away and they all got around 400-500 words😀
Johnny Cage
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A mini Cage? Are you serious? 
Can I be honest with y'all? I think this kid would be an accident 
Because of that he'd be nervous. Johnny has a huge ego but he also has huge debt and a dwindling career so he'd be worried about how he'd even take care of this child 
He'd work extremely hard to get more money. He'd even sell his house to get a smaller one that's more affordable (that's how you know he's serious)
He covers his nervousness with humor. This is a whole human he's gonna be raising now
The closer the delivery date gets, the more nervous he gets. His partner moves a little weird and he's “IT'S COMING!”
Calm down Johnny. Damn. 
The entire delivery he's jumpy as fuck. He didn't realize how long it'd take and his nerves are through the roof 
Does Johnny have a huge ego? Yes. Is he an asshole? Yes. Does he make everything a joke? Yes. But this is different. There's a human that's relying on him to survive 
Everytime he looks at the baby he's like “oh shit, I got a baby”
Baby accidents actually make him cringe. His baby vomits on him and he has to physically stop himself from throwing it 
Johnny as a girl dad? Omg. 
That's his little princess. Any money he makes goes to her. She has so many unnecessary toys and he dresses her like an actual princess 
The baby got its own room from jump 
He'll never be against a tea party or a makeover 
During those makeovers he's giving pointers. “Don't use that color, it'll clash with my hair” type of shit 
Be prepared. No matter how hard you try, this kid is becoming a mini Johnny 
He tries to be really active in her life when he's not acting 
Has debated on retiring but you need money so that's not happening 
You'd think he'd want his kid to become an actor but he knows that shit is not safe so absolutely not 
He makes little films with her though. Really cute shit he'll rewatch when she's older 
Time to him goes by so fast. He feels like he blinked and suddenly she was 18 
He's the dad that gets emotional at her graduation. Straight sobbing as she walks the stage
“I'm a cool dad” *puts on shades*
Ok Johnny 
His ability to not take shit serious doesn’t entirely disappear. He’s the parent the child wants the principal to call when in trouble
Little fashion shows? Absolutely
His kid is so spoiled, it's ridiculous. Even if he didn't want a child, he loves them with every part of him 
Kenshi Takahashi 
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Another accident baby-
He's trying to fix this whole clan situation so a baby is not something he was thinking of
So when he's told he's gonna have a baby his heart stops for a quick second 
Being terrified is a normal reaction and trust me, he's terrified 
He doesn't know how to be a dad at all and videos aren't helping 
I know I mention this whole on the run from the Yakuza thing a lot but that's a big ass problem. How do you have a baby when mfs are gunning for you?
Why does he agree to keep it? I ain't think that far but anywho, it's too late now. Too far along-
He tries to prepare himself by looking up videos and reading books. He wants to be an amazing dad for his baby 
We don't know how his parents were but I'm assuming his childhood wasn't the best
He promised himself that he's gonna care for this baby and give it a fantastic childhood 
Idk how his vision works now tbh. I'm assuming he can always see so I'm guessing that's not a problem 
Once the baby is here he's all over it. You'd think he gave birth with how much he's playing with it 
I wanna make all of them girl dads tbh and I'm the one writing this soooooo that's what imma do-
Kenshi is making sure everyone is comfortable. His partner and the baby. He's gonna help anyway he can
Having a tiny human depend on him is definitely a wild concept to him
He wants to teach his daughter how to fight but he doesn't want to make her a monster if that makes sense 
He wants to make sure she never uses her skills to harm others for no reason and because of that, any school reports about violence is taken seriously 
Let that school call him and he's asking 20 questions tryna see who the aggressor was. If his daughter was being harassed and she defended herself  then as long as someone wasn't seriously hurt then it's ok. If his daughter was the aggressor? Oh nah
Kenshi is not afraid to lecture and discipline (I don't mean whooping. Whether or not you think any of them would is up to you. I'm not getting into that. Be free) his daughter 
His kid is never walking all over him. He don't let them slide with shit 
He's harsh but it's in a loving way. He's not on her ass for no reason. He wants her to conduct herself well and to be a good person and better than the people he's been surrounded by. He carries this out by being a bit more harsh and strict than he needs to be
That teenage rebellion phase is gonna kick his ass. Omg
He's strict but I don't think he'd be unsafe for his daughter to go to, yk? His daughter knows she can go to him if she needs anything 
If she felt like she couldn't tell him something, his poor little heart would break
I don't think he'd ever take his bandana off around them. Idk how the healing would work but I could imagine it'd still look brutal 
So protective of her. Let someone move towards her a little quick, he's on his feet before he even realizes it 
He doubts his parenting at time and how safe he can keep her but he's doing a really solid job 
Kung Lao
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Idk whether or not his baby would be an accident or not 
Either way, Kung Lao has a huge ego and he'd assume it can't be that bad 
He definitely can figure all this out as he goes along. It'll be easy. Nothing to worry about 
He wishes he could go back in time and smack himself for being so stupid 
At first it's fine, then he remembers he has to consistently deal with a baby and he's like “I may have miscalculated”
Why do babies shit so much? They're so small. 
Terrible Twos have him stressed 
When the baby's teething he slowly starts to lose his grasp on reality. All the yelling drives him nuts but he's locked in now 
He tries to use his baby as a challenge to keep him motivated but honestly babe, you're never winning that challenge. Babies are unpredictable 
He has to learn that. Babies are a learning experience and you can't try to use them as some great challenge. Just relax and take things one at a time 
He also teaches his baby how to fight 
Makes them a mini hat but puts something non sharp on the edges, like crayons or something 
Some may think “oh a daughter! She has to be feminine and sweet and blahblahblah!”
Nah, that's now how it works with him
His daughter is learning some Leon Kennedy moves 
After what he's been through he's definitely teaching them how to fight because conflict will always happen. You're never catching his daughter slipping 
The dad that asks “did you win?” if his child gets in trouble for fighting at school 
Let's his child watch scary movies 
He's never doing that bullshit again. She was up all night and he's never regretted anything more 
The type to “randomly” decide to sharpen his hat when his daughter brings a boy over 
“What are you doing dad?” “I'm sharpening my sharp hat that's sharp enough to cut through humans… because it's so sharp”
Puts “The Great” in front of her name whenever describing her 
His daughter probably has a huge ego also. This dude does not teach her to be humble and compliments her when she does anything 
You think a mini Johnny is bad? Mini Kung Lao gives them a run for their money. 
Raiden
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I feel like Raiden would have kids when he's older. Idk why but I think he'd be way more careful than everyone else 
So when he hears he's having a baby, he's both nervous and excited 
He's on it. Decorating the nursery, reading books, looking at websites, he's on it all. 
He wants to be prepared so he doesn't mess up 
Messing up is inevitable but don't tell him that 
Once the baby is here, he's super happy. The room is already decorated and he's so glad they can lay in there 
Super affectionate towards his baby. Constantly kissing her head and playing with her 
If any of the other Earthrealm men have a baby, he insists on playdates 
Even if they don't, he plays with his daughter enough 
The type to actually make his voice higher when playing with dolls
Gives his kid cute nicknames that they'll undoubtedly get embarrassed by when they're older 
Are we surprised he also teaches his daughter to fight? No. 
He was minding his business and was told he had to help protect Earthrealm. His kid gotta know how to scrap 
He keeps a good balance of combat and normal childhood so it's fine 
He does little lightning shows for his kid. Is it irresponsible? A little. Is Liu Kang gonna take it back though? No. 
Raises a daughter similar to him; soft spoken and sweet but is willing to throw down when necessary 
He's the parent that genuinely hears his kid out when they get in trouble 
Since this is his first kid he's new to all of this so making mistakes is something that'll happen. Good thing about Raiden tho is that he's willing to apologize when family conflict happens 
He takes so many pictures, it's ridiculous 
Takes pictures the entire first week of school and is spamming Kung Lao with them
He's really invested in child drama ngl. A kid threw a book at another kid? Tell him more so he can gossip with Kung Lao
Discipline is difficult for him because he honestly doesn't know what to do. He's worried he's being too harsh and doesn't wanna push his kid away. It's common knowledge that they'll grow up, move away and he won't see her as much so he doesn't want to push them away and lose them earlier than necessary 
Kids need some sort of discipline though so he gotta figure it out 
When his daughter no longer needs him to check the closet for monsters, his heart might shatter a little bit ngl 
He's taking it one step at a time and honestly? He's doing really good 
Liu Kang
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Probably didn't even know he could have kids
He just assumed a keeper of time was outta the game so wdym a baby is on the way?
Liu Kang has watched humans evolve so he's watched plenty of parents raise their babies so he has a lot of references 
He's not as nervous as everyone else. Like I said before, he has plenty of references of what to and what not to do so he's pretty confident in his abilities 
He's only nervous about the threats they'll face once they're alive. Man is used to fighting for his life 
Decorates the nursery and child proofs the entire house 
Makes sure his partner is incredibly comfortable. He wants them completely relaxed 
He packs the bag for when the delivery happens, he doesn't leave the room unless necessary, he's really supportive. 
Once the baby is here he's lowkey hogging the baby 
Thinks his partner should be relaxing after so the baby is always in his arms 
This baby to him is the most precious thing he's ever seen. Having a family is something he really wants so he's on cloud 9
Watching over his kid to see if they get any powers like him, which is likely 
Liu Kang has a good balance between discipline and softness. He's not super strict but he doesn't just let them get away with anything 
Imma sound like a broken record but his daughter is scraping. This is Liu Kang we're talking about 
His daughter is gonna become Gamora-
Fighting skills will be impeccable. Say excuse me if you bump into her or she's going 2 back flips, lighting her body on fire and blowing the area up 
He wants to spend so much time with his daughter. He knows how fast time flies. He's seen humans not appreciate each other and that's not happening with him. His daughter will know she's loved 
He has references like I said earlier but that doesn't mean it's the easiest to do. He tries his hardest though and is probably the most patient
He's more excited for the firsts than they are. This is not your first day of school Liu Kang, why are you so geeked?
Tons of photos of his baby 
Other dads can be really stressed when it comes to their kid growing up but I think he's more accepting of it. Is it sad seeing his baby grow up? Yes. He's used to the idea of aging though. Also his kid is immortal like him so he's comforted by the idea of them never growing older than him 
Liu Kang is a parent that is 100% ok with admitting when he's wrong. There's no toxic shit with him. If he fucked up, he fucked up. 
Probably has the most or one of the most humble kids 
Very affectionate 
Probably wants more kids 
10/10 dad and imma stand on it
“Forgive me Kenshi. I misspoke.” Liar.
I always ramble at the end of these so here I go: y’all I am out of dry dog food and I’m broke so I can’t pay my sister to get food from her job so I’ve been feeding my dog wet food, right. It is 3am, so naturally we’re not on a walk rn. Why did she drop the most devastating shit? I actually wanna walk into traffic. I did not know it could be audible. She didn’t even eat anything before she did it. Donate to $JMentallyUnstable for my cause😔 (I’m joking but not about my suffering. She’s small. HOW is a felony coming outta you bro?) (If I find a tall building-)
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bookofmirth · 3 months
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On every character sarah writes having the same personality: why does every main girl have to be this big planner who has multiple plans on backup and never tells people, only to surprise everyone when everything goes right at the end with no prior explanation... idk if I'm putting this right, but it just made me very... annoyed
Like yeah, that worked great with Aelin, sure, but for me it just doesn't fit with Bryce? Especially on how she was just thrown at this and suddenly figured out she was The Chosen One(tm). It really bugged me, idk
Fair warning, this post rips Bryce a new asshole - not as a person, but as a character that sjm created. So I'm putting it under the cut.
Just to start, in context I said that all the hofas characters ended up having the same personality - though you can make a case for her reusing a lot of the same descriptions and such for all of them. ANYWAY...
To me, the issue is not just that Bryce keeps doing things behind the scenes that we never get any hint of, it's a bigger issue that we never get a hint that she even gives a shit.
With Aelin, at least we already knew what she was working towards and why. We already knew what she cared about and how far she was willing to go to get it. Aelin caring about Terrasen and her court and saving the people she loved was never in question. Her trauma from finding her parents dead, her fear at losing the rest of the people she loved, the weight of responsibility that she felt, we knew all of those things pretty much from the get-go. Her tendency to shut people out could be considered a flaw because she didn't trust other people to help her. We don't know about Terrasen right away, and tbh I don't remember what history we get instead and so I need to reread, but I can point to very specific values, goals, and motivations that make Aelin act the way that she does.
But Bryce - the central problem with her as a character is that Bryce doesn't care about anything, and sjm never figured out what she cares about, either.
Characters need to have central things that they care about, that drive them, motivations, things that they fear and things they would go to great lengths to protect. They need flaws, and clear relationships to the world around them. I could make a list of those things for a lot of her characters. Not all, but most.
With Bryce, I have NO IDEA what those things are. That makes it so that when she randomly find Emile, it just seems like she did it to come across like a nice person. She doesn't care about what humans are experiencing, she shits on Vanir/fae all the time, she treats Hunt pretty poorly, she isn't close to Juniper or Fury (see: their near disappearance from hofas), Danika kept so many secrets from her that I seriously doubt the depth of their relationship. Bryce was working in that library museum thing for Jesiba (I'm already erasing the series from my memory oh my god) and going out and partying and that was all well and good, but... was she going to do those things when she's 200, too? I'm not even saying that she needs to like, go get married or whatever, but she literally has no goals in life!
SJM saying that Bryce is the fun, cute party girl who also has a deep, intellectual side, a pretty woman who can also kick ass, okay, but she needs a reason to kick ass. SJM completely forgot to include the second half of that equation, which is ironic since that was a big point of her character - to prove that women can be feminine and strong, wear high heels and be smart. She failed miserably in my opinion, if that really was the goal of Bryce's character.
When Aelin is snarky to people, I know why. When Bryce is a bitch, it comes out of nowhere and is often turned on people who actually deserve her time and attention and empathy (e.g. Sathia). Aelin is an asshole to that one dude whose name starts with a D because he's a man who is underestimating her and wants to refuse to let her lead because he assumes she will be bad at it. When Bryce is an asshole to Sathia, WHY. I mean really, I wanted to throw my book across the fucking page!!!! Because that's a perfect example of how, if Bryce was guided by a set of values (feminism, I guess?) then she would have responded very differently to Sathia, who has experienced literally the exact same thing Bryce has (being betrothed to someone against her will). Instead, Bryce throws that line back in her face about "well I never let that stop me" as if what Sathia has experienced is her own fault for... not trying enough??? PLEASE. ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.
The whole "girlboss" thing needs.... something driving it. You can't just bulldoze people and call it being empowered. And I think that sjm has really, really simplified gender and sexuality in CC to the point that that's really the only distinction that matters. That's maybe another issue. I just have a lot of thoughts about these things lol.
Anyway. This is what happens when you write a character built on aesthetic and #girlpower, rather than making them a complete person with fears and values and joys and goals and motivations and flaws.
Okay one more point, this is NOT beyond sjm's capabilities. She obviously is much better at writing characters than this. I just think that sometimes, something suffers when you try new things. In CC, sjm was giving actual world building and magic systems a go. And the characters, really, REALLY fucking suffered for it.
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hood-ex · 3 months
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Your post about that dialogue from Gotham Knights (the game) made me think back on how much I miss Bruce and Dick's relationship tbh. Like obv it was never the healthiest thing ever, and Bruce was always emotionally constipated, but it always felt a little more... equal? Recently it's just felt so toxic, like Bruce will be an asshole, and Dick will be hurt by it but will still come back to him and will remove the burden of Bruce apologizing for anything from him. Like the scene between them in Nightwing 100, where Bruce is rightfully apologizing for his crap and Dick says he doesn't have to. I do like that scene (even if it was over the top), but that's not right. Like, no sir, he has a lot to apologize for lmao. But that's literally been their dynamic for so long. Whenever Bruce should be called out, Dick just forgives him and Bruce goes back to doing the same old shit again, and Dick forgives him again, and rinse and repeat.
Honestly, it feels like whoever wrote those scenes took a look at that one meme of Batman slapping Robin and said "hey, they like that, let's do that!" Like, you can't go a long time without Bruce hitting Dick. Because they think fans eat that shit up ig. They are so attached to their shock value Bruce and Dick fights and their image of brooding Bruce that they won't address their fucked-up relationship and won't change the status quo. We have gotten many scenes of them being great together and having sweet moments, but those all feel tainted by the rest of it. It's as recent as the amnesia arc where Bruce re-traumatized Dick and then didn't help him when he was living in his car and then pretty much emotionally manipulated him to become Nightwing again. Recent comics really have forgotten what Batman is about.
And it sucks, because Dick is my fave of all faves, but I also love the hell out of Bruce Wayne, and it's so sad to see him be reduced to this... only brooding, borderline abusive asshole. They won't let him grow or develop. I don't mind conflict, and I like that they have a complicated relationship. I didn't even mind Bruce punching Dick, because it's interesting. Once was fine, twice was fine, the same thing happening all the time without addressing it and with no change across years is kind of a problem. I'm only keeping up with the Nightwing run out of loyalty to my boy, but from what I've heard of the events that are happening outside of that, it seems that they are having issues again, and I'm waiting for the next Batman issue that features Nightwing to also feature another punch or something. It's always Bruce being coddled by the story and never being asked to make the step forward, it's always Dick that has to give in and make Bruce feels better about his flaws and free him of any responsibility for his actions even when it's time for Bruce to step up and grow up.
It's why I prefer the animated adaptations or the retellings. I think world's finest did a good job with their relationship, I feel like Robin: Year 1 from back in the day did too, and Young Justice animated for its many flaws has a solid dynamic between them. They still have a complicated relationship, but it isn't so dramatically awful. It allows for a more balanced and well-rounded portrayal of the character when you aren't pandering to some people by flanderizing the character ig. Anyway, sorry for ranting, you're like my fave Dick Grayson blog so I just wanted to share. Hope this wasn't a bother.
No yeah I hated that aspect of Nightwing #100. If TT wanted to do a scene like that, he should’ve built up a conflict between Dick and Bruce to give us some context as to some type of thing Bruce actually needed to apologize for. Then he could’ve had Bruce apologize, Dick accept the apology, and end it with that reconciliation.
Instead, he just had Bruce apologize like, “I’m sorry I failed you, I’m sorry I pushed you away, I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I wasn’t proud of you,” which would’ve hit much harder if, again, they had shown some kind of recent conflict between Bruce and Dick to warrant that sudden apology. And for Dick to then express his own hurt and such over said conflict. And then for them to come to some reconciliation. But yeah it’s very unsatisfying for Bruce to just list things he’s sorry for, and for Dick to hug him and just reassure Bruce. Like nooo let Bruce feel bad. Let Dick feel bad because of what Bruce did to him. Let Dick be angry. Let them both hurt. Then let them heal.
As for the amnesia arc, I feel like they really did a disservice to Bruce by not focusing enough on his trauma from the sniper incident. If they really stressed how much it traumatized him and then showed how his actions were effected by that (like giving him a dire need to have Dick return to normal bc otherwise it’s like Dick just died in his arms on that rooftop) then that is much more sad and compelling, and we can at least kind of see where Bruce is coming from by showing Dick the sniper video (though it would’ve been better if they just… hadn’t done that all).
If I had been writing that issue, I would’ve had it from Bruce’s POV where he would’ve constantly been in a state of flashbacks. Like seeing his parents getting killed and then comparing it to Dick getting shot. And then having flashbacks of Dick when he was younger but then Bruce imagining that Dick keeps getting shot in the head in each of those memories. And all of that literally just like… pushing Bruce over the edge. And then of course when Dick wakes up and asks Bruce “Who are you?” Bruce spirals even further. And we see his descent to this very isolated and dark place where he just wants his son back at all costs. That would’ve been waaaaay more interesting. Extremely dark ofc. But interesting.
Yeah the comic Dick and Bruce relationship can definitely be toxic (and I’m not totally opposed to that bc I think it makes things interesting between them), and there are animated shows that show them in a more balanced light. The Batman (2004) is one of those shows as well. Dick was Robin then ofc, and Bruce wasn’t so dark at that point in life. But when you watch shows like that, it reminds you of the character Bruce is supposed to be, and it reminds you of what you like the most about him. So definitely nice to watch shows like that sometimes to remind yourself of the Bruce Wayne that exists outside of modern comics.
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spiteless-xo · 9 months
Note
Okay this thoughts been plaguing my head. Imagine fuck boy college Eren suddenly becoming a dad
🥺 omg this is so.....
i don't have a ton of knowledge about pregnancies so sorry in advance if i say something wrong
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╰┈➤ suddenly becoming a dad.
ft. eren, fem!reader. cw. preganacy.
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the two of you have been hooking up for a while so he doesn't use condoms anymore, but sometimes shit happens. so you text him to tell him to come over, and he's excited, thinking it's a booty call, but then you show him the positive test.
he thinks you're joking at first. like this is some weird new covid test or something -- but after assuring him that it's legit he gets terrified. the thought of becoming a dad has crossed his mind in the past, sure -- but not now.
i feel like he'll ghost you for a few days -- depending on how long it takes for jean/armin/whoever to convince him he's being an asshole
but then he's at your doorstep, almost in tears, telling you that he's sorry and that he's here for you no matter what. he's willing to step up and take care of the kid -- his kid.
he just treats you like a normal girlfriend for the first while, so nothing is noticeably different at first, except he stays over more than usual and he holds your hand in public
but the first time you go for an ultrasound and you hear the baby's heartbeat.................. this man is in tears.
from then on, he treats you like a queen. he doesn't let you lift a finger because he wants you to focus all your energy on "making our baby big and strong" 🥺
he stops going out to parties every weekend and spends more time chilling at home with you. even starts taking school a little bit more seriously now that he's got a family he has to take care of
(and the first time he catches himself thinking of you and the baby as his family..... he has to pause for a second and just sit with his thoughts -- that's the second time it really hits him that he's about to be a dad after hearing the heartbeat)
he even starts looking up different foods that you should eat to help your baby be healthy, things to avoid, etc. etc. he gets kinda crazy about it, tbh and practically forces you to stay in bed all day and it's not until the doctor says that he's overreacting that he stops
the first time he feels the baby kick, he's full on crying. he's got his hand on your stomach, palms pressed softly against you until he feels the little kick! and then he's looking at you with wide eyes, mouth agape like "babe, i felt it! i felt him kick!" (because he's convinced it's gonna be a boy)
he helps decorate the baby's room with you, and despite his insistence that it should be blue and boy-ish, you convince him to make it gender-neutral just in case. so he paints it a soft green and he builds the crib and the two of you start to get really excited about welcoming a new baby into the world
when you go into labour, he's already ready. he's had a go-bag for you in his trunk for the past few weeks. maybe he's in class when it happens, but the second he sees your text he's rushing to meet you at the hospital -- sprinting out of class yelling "i'm gonna be a dad!"
he gets dressed up in scrubs and ties back his hair so he can sit with you in the delivery room, holding your hand tight and breathing with you as you give birth
his eyes light up when he hears the baby crying for the first time and the doctor announces, "she's a girl!"
his heart feels tight when he sees you holding her for the first time and you point out that she has his eyes. he just can't help but look at the two of you, smiling so hard that his face hurts.
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benrybenrybenry-chr · 8 months
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Could you explain how bbc ruined john? I grew up with that sherlock
yeah sure!
basically, to put it simplest, BBC's John Watson is not anything like John Watson as a character. As a standalone character I think I wouldn't have cared nearly as much? I mean I still personally wouldn't like him cuz he was kind of a piece of shit at times but I can still find the appeal in that. no the main issue I face is that he just acts nothing like Watson and tbh like- a lot of his actions even go against Watson's ideals??
first of all his relationship with Holmes (im gonna be using their last names here because calling them by their first names feels wrong to me) is just- weirdly negative? I don't know, him constantly making Holmes out to be a total asshole and a villain in his life is SO out of character. (though to be honest it's warranted given how out of character Holmes is in that show too, he's a total asshole for no good reason)
I think honestly the best example of this change with Watson's personality and how drastic it is, is The Empty Hearse/The Empty House
in The Empty Hearse, John's immediate reaction is to PHYSICALLY HARM Sherlock
in The Empty House, Watson's immediate reaction is (and I'm not even kidding) to faint, be woken up, and be incredibly starstruck and just happy that his best friend is alive
(I don't have a clip of BBC Sherlock but I do have one of Granada Holmes, which is the most accurate to ACD/book canon)
this also very much highlights the difference between BBC Sherlock and ACD Holmes, but that's besides the point
I'd also like to mention something that really especially annoyed me and that's that he?? is literally useless in that show???? Watson in the books is really intelligent and helps Holmes in numerous cases as well as gives his input (WHICH HOLMES TAKES TO HEART AND DOESNT JUST COMPLETELY IGNORE, BTW 🙄🙄 that always ticked me off with BBC) and does more than just get kidnapped a couple times and take notes.
ALSO ACD WATSON WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON HIS WIFE!!! OR BLAME HOLMES FOR MARY'S DEATH!!! NEVER!! would absolutely never happen. (though to be fair, ACD's equivalent of Mary's death happened in the 3 year gap between The Final Problem and The Empty House, so, yk)
if they met BBC Watson would not leave that room without broken bones lmao
idunnoidunno its a lot of "WATSON WOULD NEVER DO THAT" moments and gut feelings, it's difficult to describe properly, I found it very difficult to root for him when I felt like he was an un-likeable protagonist idkidk
(additionally they removed his fucking mustache and that is their worst offense /hj)
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gay-otlc · 1 year
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Tbh there is no way to shit on straight transmascs without parroting transphobia, lesbophobia, or both.
People who say or imply they wish I was mlm rather than mlw don't realize they are giving me the exact same message I received while growing up as a lesbian; I would be more valuable if I liked men. They don't realize I tried so fucking hard to like men. Or maybe they do realize, and they don't care.
And people who are completely supportive of me liking women, they just wish I liked women as a woman instead of a gross straight man- that's transphobia. It is transphobic to treat me like they would like me better if I was cisgender. And even if they're okay with me being trans, they would rather I be a nonbinary lesbian than a straight trans man. Which is transandrophobia.
If you're giving me shit for being a trans man who likes women, you're either giving me shit for being attracted to women (which isn't progressive now that I'm trans, it was shitty when I was a lesbian girl and it's shitty now), or you're giving me shit for being a trans man (which is blatant transphobia).
Also it's just an asshole thing to do. If we could, like, stop making fun of people for their genders and sexualities? That would be great. Thanks.
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myg-butterfly · 1 year
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Goodnight (Love)
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Jimin x Reader – Spy!Au
Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Fluff, Enemies(?)/Lovers(?), Non-Idol Au, One-Shot
Part 2
Summary: You and Jimin hold an unwavering grudge against each other, but for what reason? Or, when you and Jimin get partnered for a case together, emotions arise, and so do the stakes. Pride and vulnerability are an explosive pair; will you both set each other off into flames?
Warnings (Buckle up folks because there's a lot): THIS STORY CONTAINS THEMES OF HARASSMENT AND IMPLICATIONS OF S/A!!! DO NOT READ IF THOSE TOPICS ARE TOO HARSH FOR YOU!!! Angst, panic attacks, anxiety, descriptions of violence (like a single fight), sexual assault (no non-con sex happens i swear), misogyny if you squint, Jimin is an asshole at times, trauma, trauma flashbacks, horrible communication tbh, implied abuse, implied s/a
Disclaimers: I am in no way, shape, or form trying to romanticize these sensitive topics, I simply want to show that comfort can be found after said situations. Please do not leave any comments about glamorizing any of the topic.
A/N: Hello hi author here! I haven't thoroughly proof read this oopsies but we'll get there when we get there. There's a lot of time-skips in this btw, and I also just made shit up because I don't really have any clue as to what spies or agents do or whatever (lol)
Taglist: @screamertannie
main masterlist
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
"This mission is risky, as it's heavily reliant on precision and strategy, so we'll have to be very careful with who we send."
"I have the perfect pair in mind."
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
"You're fucking kidding me."
Jimin stares in disbelief at his bosses, Seokjin and Namjoon, not knowing why they thought it would be a good idea to partner you together.
"I don't care whatever personal vendetta y'all have against each other, you both are the most reliable option we have. So put your willy-nillies aside and get your head in the game."
Namjoon shoots Jin a disapproving glare at his choice of words.
"Please never say willy-nilly again."
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
You never thought it was possible for so much tension to fit inside a singular car, yet you and Jimin seemed to be breaking that record currently:
"Listen, I want to get this done as soon as possible, so please just listen to me and do what I tell you and I can finally stay away from your annoying ass."
"As long as you listen to me as well, it'll be a smooth sail."
"And why do I have to listen to you?"
"We listen to each other, it's called teamwork; hence the fact that we're a team, and we work tog-"
"I know what teamwork is – I'm not stupid. But I specialize in retrieving information, so I think we both know who has sufficient knowledge to lead this case."
"One of the requirements to be recruited is being able to safely retrieve information, so technically even though I'm not centered in the encryption department, we still have the same level of expertise in the field of-"
"Do you ever shut the fuck up?"
"I do."
"Great well do that now."
"If it means you stop running your mouth as well then I will."
It isn't that Jimin hates you specifically, he just hates how stoic you are all of the time. No matter what case you had to take on, what was going on around you, your cold demeanor never faltered — and that pissed Jimin off.
I mean, who were you to be so stand-offish to all of your colleagues? Did you think you were better than everyone else? Is that why you never spoke up unless you were giving your 2 cents on the approach the organization should take on the case given. And it pissed him off even more how you were always right, how Namjoon and Jin always agreed with whatever you had to say.
Jimin didn't hate you specifically, but he hated your face and how nice it was to look at and your annoyingly smart brain and your voice that was so soothing to listen to.
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
"Jimin, I'm telling you, having me go undercover isn't safe or efficient. The man who has the information we need is kno-"
"Are you admitting that you don't have the guts to complete this mission? What happened to commitment?"
Strategizing with Jimin felt like being a court trial where anything and everything you said would be used against you.
"I am committed. That's why I'm telling you that this isn't a good strategy."
"And why not? We've used it countless times before and it's worked, what's different now? All those men are the same, just play them to your will. Is that really so hard for you to do?"
"It's not good because it's not safe. Chances are that not only will I walk out of there severely injured, but you will too. And what happens then?"
"All I'm hearing is that you're too scared to do it. If that's the case, then why don't you just go home? I can even go ahead and call Jin hyung and tell him that you chickened out-"
"I am not chickening out."
"Then just trust my plan, princess. It's never failed me, and it's not going to start now."
"....... Fine. But don't call me that."
"No can do, princess."
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
As you walk into the large fancy venue where the event was being held, the urge to run and hide became much more prominent.
You doubt that he remembers you, you were small when it happened, and now you'd grown.
That should bring some form of comfort, but it doesn't.
Because even if he doesn't recognize you, you would never be able to forget those months.
What he did changed you as a person forever, and for the worse as well.
You walk tentatively, saying hello to people you come across, until you find who you're looking for.
Upon seeing his face, it felt like a kick had just impacted your gut, like if you were dumped into a freezing lake with nothing on. Your mouth dried and the room began to spin, and you almost ran away, almost cowered back to safety, but you were stopped by-
"Dumbass, he's right there all by himself. Approach him, quick."
Hesitantly you started your way towards him.
"Jimin, turn my earpiece's mic sensitivity up."
"Why?"
"Please, I need you to be able to catch anything."
"Fine."
Seeing he was grabbing a glass of wine by himself, you took the opportunity to slide in next to him.
"Excuse me, sir? Do you happen to know what kind of wine this might be?"
"Cherry wine, madam. Would you like to try one?"
"Yes, please. Thank you."
"It's no problem. If you don't mind me asking, is someone accompanying you tonight?"
"Oh, no. I'm here by myself. I got invited by mutual friends."
"Ah, I see. So then, you wouldn't mind joining me tonight? I have a table right over there if you'd like to sit."
"I'd love to join you. Please, lead the way."
After some brief moments of small talk, Jimin gives you the okay to start trying to pull information out of him.
"This venue is so lovely, I wish I could see all of it in full." You started prying. "Well, actually, one of my closest partners runs the venue, if you'd like I could ask him if it's okay for me to give you a tour?"
"Would you really?"
"Of course, anything for such a delightful woman as yourself."
"Oh, you're too kind."
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
The tour was going well as good as your given position allowed. You managed to ask about almost each room, giving Jimin any helpful information through your earpiece.
That was until you got to the third floor.
You were trying as hard as you could to push through being in his presence, when you'd been going up the stairs you stumbled for a second, and his hand reached out to "stabilize" you. You managed to regain your balance, still his wrinkled hand remained on the small of your back, a little lower than appropriate, and that was all it took to push you to the edge.
"Um, excuse me, do you mind if we pause for a short while so I can use the restroom?"
"That's totally okay. Do you want me to lead you to the one on this floor?"
"Oh, no. Thank you, I'll use the one from the previous floor. You can wait for me here. I won't be long."
Running down the stairs quickly, your head began to spin with fear.
All of the haunting memories you'd managed to drown out in the deepest parts of your brain resurfaced within a flash, and suddenly its like if you were back where you were less than two years ago.
Rough hands around your waist, liquor scented breath hitting your face, the cold air biting your exposed skin – you remembered it so vividly that you could almost feel it happening to you.
You could feel the harsh tone of voice, taunting you, painting you with shame.
'You should be thankful for all that I do for you. I'm the only person that can stand you after all.'
"Why the hell are you going to the bathroom? Don't stall, you idiot. We need to get this done."
"Right. Yeah. Right."
You stood up and walked towards the door, but you couldn't bring yourself to twist the doorknob. The thought of having to continue with him had your breathing quickening, and your vision shaking, it was all too much at once.
All Jimin could hear was your shallow breathing, and strangely, he found himself growing worried.
"Y/N? What's going on?"
"I can't- I can't do it-"
"What do you mean?"
"I- I need to get out of here."
"Y/N, what's wrong?"
"I can't be here, please Jimin."
Jimin burrowed his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding what caused you to get so worked up. He was even more confused when he felt himself progressively getting more concerned for your well-being.
"Where are you right now?"
“Um, a bathroom in floor 2."
"And you told the guy to stay in the third floor, right?"
"Yeah." You hear Jimin sigh, and you know he's upset with you, but your brain can't fully process that right now.
"I can't believe you're actually pussying out of this right now."
"Jimin, please."
The crack in your voice left an uncomfortable buzz in his chest, and Jimin found himself caving in.
"Okay, fine. I'll find a distraction for him so you can leave while he's busy. Only because we stil have tomorrow to do this and we've made progress."
"Thank you-"
"Don't, we still have to get this shit done tomorrow."
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
You thought you'd be relieved as you finally got the chance to run out of the building, but guilt was heavy on your chest. The sound of Jimin's frustrated voice made you uneasy; you've never really been on his good side, but hearing him sound so disappointed in you drilled a hole into your pride.
He watches you as you open the car door and clumsily jump in, and Jimin can't stop his frown from deepening further when he sees your usually sparkly eyes tainted a light color of red, one that matches your nose and cheeks. You take his expression as one of disapproval, and you shrink in your seat, hoping that it'll swallow you whole. You were triggered as it is, an angry Jimin would not help you whatsoever.
Obviously, the only thing he could come up with was to scold you, because what else was he supposed to do? Wipe away your tears gently and destroy anything that would cause those tears to resurface? Yeah, of course not. Not that he wouldn't be willing to if you asked him, but he'll try to convince himself it's only because he's a good person. No ulterior motive.
"This better be a one time thing, eh? No one wants to work with someone unreliable, and leaving was one hell of a liability."
"I know."
"Then why did you do it?"
The words got stuck in your throat; you couldn't tell him that this guy had abused you for years on end of your adolesence. You refused to let anyone see that side of you.
"It wasn't safe, and it wasn't worth risking it."
"I didn't see any threats in the security cameras, and everything in your earpiece sounded fine. What was unsafe?"A tentative moment of silence passes before:
"Him."
You spoke so softly that you thought Jimin hadn't heard you, until you heard a sigh from him.
"We work with dangerous people all the time, there's no difference here, princess."
The name had clear condecendicy laced within it, and it made the sting in your eyes return quickly; it reminded you of him, and now the memories were fresh. You turned your face out the window, hoping that Jimin didn't catch sight of them.
But he did, and great. What else is he supposed do? to destroy himself then? Being harsh is supposed to be what keeps you from getting hurt by him, so why is that no matter what he does, the outcome is always rough?
The rest of the car ride was silent, the emptyness of nightfall very clear amongst the dark.
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
"Will you stop moving so goddamn much? Some of us are trying to sleep here."
"Why are you referring to yourself with plurality? The only ones here are you and I, and your comment is directed at me so-"
"It's too late for your smartass."
"Well, it's currently 1 in the morning, so technically-"
"Less talking more sleeping."
"Okay."
You'd stopped moving, and Jimin was about to completely pass out, when the shuffling started again.
"Y/N I swear to god-" he groaned, annoyed that you interrupted his sleep again.
But when he looked over, you were sitting up on your bed, a pained expression covering your face.
Jimin sighed and sat up as well, mumbling under his breath about how 'it's always something with you'. Still he asked:
"What happened now?"
You hesitated to answer before responding.
"Did you do it on purpose?"
"Do what?"
"Send me in there, knowing who he is?”
"I genuinely don't have a clue of what you're talking about."
"I knew you hated me but I really didn't think you would go to such lengths."
"Stop speaking in riddles and just say whatever it is you want to say."
"Do you really not know about him?"
"Stop acting like you know better than I do just because you know about some rando that I've never heard of."
"I'm not trying to act like I know better, because I do know better. I know who we're up against, and I know that Seokjin and Namjoon would agree that sending me in there by myself is a shit decision."
"Why would they give us the case then if it's so dangerous, huh? Maybe you're just too much of a scaredy-cat to handle this case. Why don't you go and whine to our bosses that the task is 'too hard' if you're so set on them agreeing with you?"
Jimin's words felt like a stab straight through your heart, and all you could do was bleed out in silence.
"If I were them, I'd be real disappointed if someone I handpicked for a job as prestigious as this one called me and told me they didn't wanna do it because it's too hard."
The mention of disappointing your bosses made your stomach twist with anxiety. Just when you'd begun to learn to protect yourself, you're suddenly getting berated for it?
"Do you want me to complete this task or not?"
"Of course I fucking do. That's why I'm telling you that you need to suck it up."
"Degradation isn't going to motivate me, so you can stop trying to make me feel like shit. Are you happy? Because it sure is working."
"See? This is what I mean. For someone who acts so stoic all the time you sure are goddamn sensitive."
"Jimin, please. Drop it. I get it. You win."
"Stop whin- wait, what?"
You blinked at Jimin, before sighing and laying back down, shuffling around and throwing a blanket over your head.
For some reason, this made his heart twist in an uncomfortable way.
Jimin took a deep breath and told himself that it definitely wasn't because he felt like crying at seeing your defeated expression, he was just shocked that you didn't continue arguing with him.
Yeah. That's what it is. Totally what it is.
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
Day 2 of the event begins, and your fear is drowned out enough to tolerate it by your desperation to get this over with.
"Okay, he's in there. Go. No chickening out this time, okay?"
"Yes. Whatever."
"Good."
You find him standing by the small bar they have across the venue, and you muster up any remaining strength inside yourself as you begin to approach the man who haunts your every move.
"What kind of wine are you honoring tonight?" You use the same conversation starter as last time, and the guy jumps; you caught him off-guard.
"Oh, my dear, it's you. I am so glad we meet again." His smirk grew, and if you didn't know any better, you would think that it's one of excitement rather than perversion.
"So am I."
"I was afraid you'd pulled a classic Cinderella on me after that first night, I thought I wouldn't see you again."
"Oh, I apologize for leaving so abruptly. Something I ate gave me a stomach bug, and I decided it'd be best to go rest before it could get worse. I'm just thankful it cleared up before the event ended."
"I am deeply grateful as well, I don't think I could've bared to not see you again. Say, why don't we actually complete our tour around the venue tonight."
"That would be lovely."
You had always hated how snobby rich people spoke, as if everything was fancy and business. The formalities and outdated vocabulary made you irrationally angry, and you weren't sure how much longer you were going to withstand this entire thing.
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
Thankfully, you lasted a pretty good while. Everything seemed to be going as planned; you asked questions, he blabbered on and on about whatever you asked, he got more comfortable and started spilling more and more, and Jimin got more information.
“This floor is my favorite.” He says once you finish taking the flight of stairs you were just on.
“Oh, really? May I ask why?”
“My personal room is up here, it's supposed to be a guest room but since I spend my days here frequently, it's practically become my bedroom.”
“That sounds very comfortable. The people who own this place seem to show genuine hospitality.”
“They indeed do. And I was thinking, maybe I could follow in their steps, and extend that hospitality to you?”
“What does this said hospitality consist of?” You were skeptical, the glint in his eyes was evidently one that was ready to strike knives into your chest.
“Reconnection. Mending broken bonds. Making up for all our time lost.”
Your heart began beating rapid and panicked, afraid of what implications come with his statement. He seems to notice your expression fall, as he starts to laugh and even doubles over. Once he composes himself, he immediately makes his way towards you, the change in demeanor too quick to even respond.
"You really thought I wouldn't recognize you doll? Hmm?" He circles around you slowly.
It feels like you've fallen through a sink hole into the midst of hell hearing his words, it's suffocating, so much so that you're sure you won't make it out in one piece this time around.
"To be fair, you have changed a lot. You look much more mature, womanhood has treated you well." It takes everything in you to not break as he grabs your chin between his fingers, Jimin's voice playing on repeat in your head - 'no chickening out this time'.
You swallow and take a second to compose yourself, before speaking again.
"May we please continue our tour?"
"No need to hide from me, little one. I'd always told you, you'd come running back to me one day; and here you are. No need to be embarrassed about it, I'm more than happy to have you again."
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
Jimin's blood runs cold when he hears what the man is saying; did you know him before? What history could you possibly have with this man?
"I'm n- not hiding. I just simply wish to continue looking around."
"Oh, trust me, dear. We'll have plenty of time to look around. But first, don't you wanna go somewhere private? So we can, reconnect?"
A shiver runs down your spine out of pure fear, and you're not sure if you can back down this time.
"Um, I don't know. I don't want to be gone for too long."
"No one will notice dear." He leans in closer to your face. "I know you want this just as much as I do."
His suggestive tone has you feeling sick to your stomach, and you pray to whoever sits above that Jimin realizes what's happening and comes to help you. You aren't sure what you had ever done to turn the universe against you, but you knew your prayers weren't heard when Jimin responds through your earpiece.
"Go. If you're worried about anything getting out of hand, I have this planned out. Just go."
You didn't know what plan Jimin had up his sleeve, but his annoyed expression on your face were imprinted in your mind, his words from the previous night still heavy: ‘If I were them, I'd be real disappointed if someone I handpicked for a job as prestigious as this one called me and told me they didn't wanna do it because it's too hard.’
"Okay, take me with you."
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
He leads you to up another set of stairs, and into different hallways, before stopping in front of two big doors. You watch as he takes a key out of the inside pocket in his coat, and he opens the door, letting you step inside first and following after you. The room was spacious and slightly dark, the only light entering through the window from the lights outside.
"Ask him what part of the building you guys are in."
"This room is beautiful, what part of the building are we in?"
“It is quite luxurious, huh? This is the fifth floor. Main hallway, 3rd door. If you ever want to pay a visit, you're more than welcome to stop by.”
Jimin quickly jots down the room, and you hope he's satisfied, because you're shaken with fear at this man’s words. He locks the door from the inside, and proceeds to move toward you.
"He has a key, right?"
"Ah, yes." Pause. "I'll keep that in mind."
He smiles at you and grabs your wrist, walking towards the large bed in the middle of the room.
"Okay, get his key. Do whatever it takes, just get your hands on it."
He sits on the bed and grabs you by the hips, pulling you down with him.
"I can't believe I have you all for myself again. Even if its just tonight." You feel his fingers in your hair; the thought of shaving your head crosses your mind. If it means getting rid of any trace of him, you'd do it.
"Your features may be a little more grown, but you're still that innocent little sweetheart that I've always known."
His face seems so close; your body falls cold with fear.
"Tell me, how much have you missed me, sweetheart?"
He gets scoots even closer and cups your cheeks, running a thumb over your lips. He gets even closer, and all you can do is swallow and curse Jimin, because why isn't he doing anything to help you?
"I thought you would've learned to use your words by now." He chuckles, you wait for a hand across your cheek.
"Stupid little girl. Aren't you glad I'm so forgiving?"
He leans closer again, your foreheads touching at this point.
"I'll let you show me with your actions. Come on, show me."
Your breath hitches in dread, but he takes this a good sign. He kisses you and you do your best to "kiss" him back without actually doing any kissing. You tug on his coat, hoping he gets the message to take it off, and thankfully – you're not sure this is the right word – he does. As he shrugs it off, he keeps kissing you, and you take the chance to grab it from the inside, and flip it around so the key falls into your lap. You quickly put the key in your dress pockets and you toss the coat across the room in attempt to mask it as a move of interest.
He notices that his coat is gone, and it prompts him to begin trying to remove your corset. You realize that this is your chance to communicate with Jimin, though you're not sure if he can hear you if the silence from his side is anything to go by, while also prompting the man to get off of you.
"I've got it."
"You got the key?" So Jimin can hear you. You don't know if what fills your gut is relief or anger.
"Let me do it." He grips your hands and puts them aside, continuing to undo it himself.
"Yeah." You respond to Jimin. Pause. "I've got it, its fine. It'll be faster this way."
"Okay, we'll get him distracted now." Once again, you're torn between relief and anger.
"Don't you wanna take it slow? Enjoy our sweet time together?" His lips on your neck, and his hands getting lower and lower. You start to cry. Thankfully, he doesn't notice, because the intercom system im the building blares: "The auction is about to begin, 5 to auction." Hearing this, you take your chance to push him away, trying to get yourself back together.
"We should go, we wouldn't want to miss this." You move to get up, but he locks you within his arms.
"It's okay, you're the one thing I want."
"People will notice that we're missing."
"They won't. And if they do, let them. I'm more than glad to show you off."
He keeps on untying your corset, and panic starts to flow more prominently through your body as you realize that he isn't going to let this go easily.
"I really think we should go back. What if we miss something important?"
"Shhhh. Let this happen."
Another announcement blares through the intercom, but he doesn't even flinch this time.
"Auction is now beginning."
"Let's stop. I don't want to miss it."
He doesn't stop.
Doesn't even do a double take.
"If you want something from the auction, I'll get it for you. I'll even pay double the price. But I'm not letting anything take this away from me. I've been waiting to feel you for years. I'm not letting you go now."
You're on the border of cracking as he gets lower on the strings of your corset, not sure if you're gonna be able to get out of this unharmed. He moves to suck on your neck, and that's when you break.
"I don't, I don't want to."
"You're just nervous. I know you want this."
You shake your head, your whole body is visibly trembling now.
"I don't want to."
"Be good and stop talking."
He finally gets to the last string when his phone rings behind him.
He ignores it.
You pry him on.
"Are you not gonna take that?"
"Nothing is going to interrupt this."
"What if it's important?"
"What did I say? Be quiet. Why is it that now you're all chatter, but when I asked you earlier, not even a peep? It's like you want me to punish you."
A sob escapes you; where the fuck is Jimin?
He takes your corset off, leaving you almost bare.
"Such a pretty little thing."
All you can think is that 'This is it. This is it. What did I do to have to go through this again? Why is it tha-"
"I'm on my way up. I'll be there in a moment. I'm sorry I didn't come earlier. I'm coming."
You let out another sob at this.
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
Jimin feels like his heart flew out from his chest because of how hard it was pounding.
He's desperate to get you out of there, and Jimin didn't know what to do.
His original plan to get the man distracted by random interruptions wasn't working, and he knew going up there on his own was risky, but listening to your situation made him sick.
He knew one of the guys on his usual team, Yeonjun, was monitoring the assignment, as they always have someone on standby in chances of emergency.
With his mind made up, he lets him know that he's gonna go in, but he isn't too fond of the idea.
"No, Yeonjun. You don't get it. I have to go up. He's- he's hurting her."
"You'll get caught. Especially if you and Y/N leave together."
"I have to go."
"Jimin-"
"Sorry, I have to get to her."
The line disconnects.
He was coming now.
Getting to you was the only thing that mattered in that moment.
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
You can't bare to watch as the man takes his own shirt off, and you feel like you could throw up at any moment.
"I'm on the fifth floor. Toss the key under the door if you can."
At this, your only string of thought consisted of 'Jimin's here' 'Toss the key' 'Jimin's here' 'Toss the key'
You quickly reach into your pockets and let the key drop by your feet, and you kick it so it's by the door. An eternity of seconds pass by, your brain simply chanting 'Jimin, Jimin, Jimin'
Everything happens so quickly that you don't even have time to process what's happening before Jimin tackles the old man. He punches and pounds, and all you can do is watch in horror as both men begin to swing at each other. You have no clue what to do, but thankfully, Jimin manages to catch him off-guard and injects him with a tranquilizer.
It's strong enough to paralyze him on the ground, but simultaneously doesn't knock him unconscious.
You run to put your shirt on and rush to look for the flash drive that's meant to have all the information you're looking for. Despite your frantic state, you miraculously find it in a drawer, relieved and ready to show Jimin.
But when you turn around, he's still on top of the man, beating him like a crazed man.
"You. Fucking. Bastard. How. Dare. You. Touch. Her. I will fucking kill you." He says in between punches.
He kicks, stomps, punches, even pulls out his blade, and he doesn't stop until he feels you tug from behind him, hearing your attempts to hold back sobs from escaping you.
Even as you're trembling, you hold up the small flash drive in your hand.
Jimin stares in shock for a few seconds, confused as to how you still went to look for the files even with the state you're in.
He looks back at the man on the floor, bloodied and now unconscious.
You wouldn't be surprised if Jimin beat him to death.
A pause of silence engulfs both of you, before he interrupts it.
"Let's go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Let's go. We'll talk later. Come on."
You moved to step towards the door, but you were filled with such panic that your legs were giving out on you.
He stepped towards you, but you recoiled.
He knew that this reaction was to be expected, but it still felt like a flame was burning his chest seeing you jump away from him, looking absolutely terrified.
You stumbled and wobbled, but you were insistent on walking on your own.
Jimin respected your boundaries, but when you almost tumbled down the stairs, he couldn't take it anymore.
“Do you want me to carry you back to the car? It'll get us out of here quicker, you're gonna hurt yourself .”
He saw your facial expressions change multiple times in that short moment before you stepped toward him and let him lift you off the ground. You were tense, any touch making your head spin but feeling how securely Jimin is holding you, you can't help but loosen up a tiny bit.
Feeling you shake in his grasp, it hit Jimin like a bag of bricks; you had been one of his victims. That's why you told him that it wasn't safe for you.
How could he have missed this?
You'd been brought back to hell after finally escaping it, and it was Jimin himself that dropped you right back into the gates of it. Maybe if he had listened to you when you said it wasn't a good idea, maybe you wouldn't be shutting down right in front of his own eyes, wouldn't be shaking uncontrollably, wouldn't be face to face with a monster you were to never see again.
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
In the car, you can't stop clawing at yourself in the passenger seat, unsure of how to get rid of all the anger and anxiety in you.
Jimin kept peeking from your eyes and back to the road, and for some reason, this made you angry; not in a scream and throw things way, but in a sob angry tears with harsh breaths until you pass out way.
“What did it cost you to listen to me? Your pride? Is your pride worth the touch of that monstrosity?"
"I'm sorry."
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
You get to the hotel and rip the dress off of you, wiping your lips and scrubbing your hands furiously, you pull your hair in desperation.
Everything feels so wrong and overbearing, it feels like its the end of the world.
Jimin feels like his world is crumbling at the same time that you are.
He goes to make you some tea, anything that will make you feel even the tiniest bit better. Seeing you in so much distress left only 2 things swirling around his head.
The first one being: He would, in fact, do anything to take back everything he's said, and to protect you from any harm that may come your way.
The second: He is so emotionally constipated.
Instead of letting himself understand and acknowledge what he feels for you, he put up a big fucking barrier, and now he’s responsible for your breaking point. Maybe if he could've been honest with himself, maybe if he had been gentler with you–
Well, there's no point in dwelling over it now, so instead he approaches you and removes your hands from your head to stop you from pulling your hair.
"Y/N? You're gonna hurt yourself."
"I don't care." You try to pull your hands away, but Jimin clasps them against his own.
"I made you some tea, it's in the nightstand by your bed. Go drink it while I put on a bath for you. And grab clothes once you're done."
You weren't sure what it was, anger? Gratefulness? Appreciation? Resentment? But something was coursing through your veins, and it all was clearly directed at Jimin. Feeling frustrated and confused, you broke down into sobs once more.
"We don't have to do anything, but I think getting washed up will help you feel better. Whatever you wanna do. Just, please don't cry, I don't like it when you cry.”
You look up and find Jimin crouching in front of you; his stare so soft that you think he might actually care. You can't help it – you launch yourself towards Jimin, neither of you are sure if it's an attempt at a hug or at knocking him down.
He wraps his arms around you and you begin to hit at his chest, your frustration and hurt showing themselves.
"Why didn't you listen to me?! I didn't want to tell you! You should've just listened to me! Then I wouldn't be hurt! It hurts, Jimin. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts."
You repeat that phrase over and over again until your breakdown begins to falter into hiccups, energy gone, and you melt into Jimin's embrace. The room is suddenly still, the only existing thing being you and Jimin on the floor, crying out hurt and apologies.
When he clutches so hard onto your shirt that his knuckles turn white, you know that he didn't mean to do it on purpose, that he's genuinely sorry for how things went down. And when you hug him back and shuffle closer to him, he knows you're willing to forgive him, you don't blame him for the decisions he made.
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
Things feel fuzzy after that. Not necessarily in a bad way, there's just too much delicacy in the air for you to process things properly.
The cup of tea is warm in your hands as you wait for Jimin to finish filling up the bathtub.
After some quiet moments, he walks out of the bathroom and throws an apologetic smile your way.
"You're all set. I'll be out here, shout if you need anything."
"Okay."
You do think initially that a bath will help you relax, maybe get rid of some of the squeezing tension in your muscles, but it becomes clear that your mind won't be able to handle something as simple as undressing and getting into the tub.
Marks brokenly painted across your skin catching your stare, you needed to be forced out of it.
Even as you slowly climbed into the tub and sat down, the only thing running through your head was the image of your scarred form.
You cry out Jimin's name.
"Is everything okay?"
You beg the words to leave your tongue.
"Stay. Please."
Your voice is small and tired, and his heart jumps in a mix of adoration and pain, because you are ever so lovely, but you're hurt, and you're hurt because of him and his pride.
"Okay. I'll stay."
He takes a seat on the closed toilet, and you stare at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out how to ask for the support you need.
"I- can y- my hair."
Finally, it comes out strangled, but it comes.
"What about your hair?"
Jimin moves closer when you fuss a little at his question, splashing the water while doing so.
You rake your hands through your hair aggressively, and he thinks he understands what you're trying to say.
"Do you want me to help you wash it?"
Your face visibly softens – similarly to Jimin's heart – and you let out a little sound of confirmation.
"Okay, are you sure you're comfortable with that?"
"Mhm."
"Okay, pass me the bottle."
The warm water is soothing on your scalp and you feel yourself relaxing as soon as the shampoo touches your head.
“Sorry if I pull your hair.”
When you feel Jimin’s fingers raking across your hair, you start to cry again.
The way he gently rubs your hair makes you overwhelmed with a warm feeling that fills your chest at being handled so tenderly for the first time in so long.
"Love, why are you crying?"
If Jimin was already panicked at your tears, he’s utterly mortified now that the term of affection slipped out accidentally.
Thankfully, it seems like you're too caught up in enjoying the feeling to notice what he just called you.
“Thank you.”
His hand movements stopped for a second to think about his next words before resuming with a sigh.
"Don't thank me. I fucked up so bad. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I should've just listened to you. I'm so sorry."
Jimin's voice cracked, and it looked like he was going to start crying too.
Once he was done, he went to grab a towel, and you stopped him by putting a hand on top of his.
"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it."
"I'm still really sorry. You shouldn't have gone through any of that."
You simply hummed as a response, and you both knew that it meant forgiveness.
The moment felt so soft, soft in the way you were looking at each other, soft like the butterflies in your stomach, it was all just really, really soft.
∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱
That didn't last too long though, because sleep has never come easy to you, and the events of this day only worsened it.
Every time you closed your eyes, his sickening face would appear in front of you. You could almost feel the way he gripped onto your skin, bruising it.
You could feel yourself falling into a panic spiral again, and your brain's first instinct for whatever reason was 'where's Jimin?’
You sat up and saw him fast asleep on his bed, and you grew hesitant.
What if he gets mad that you woke him up? What if he laughs at you? He's gonna tell you to toughen up.
But then you think back to how he's acted ever since he went to get you.
That wasn't just temporary, right? Was it just pity? Was he only nice to relieve himself of any guilt?
Your overthinking mixed with your already panicked state, and you once again felt like things were crumbling all around you.
You showed Jimin your weakest parts, he can surely use that against you. He probably thinks you're even more pathetic now. He's gonna tell everyon-
"Y/N? What's going on?"
You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't realize how loud your sobs had gotten, nor that they'd woken Jimin up.
You looked up in horror as you realized that he was sitting on your bed, watching you cry.
The concerned look in his eyes only made you cry harder. You wanted to fall into his comfort, wanted to believe that he genuinely cared about you, but at the same time you were convinced that he was just pretending.
"Don't act like you care."
“Huh?”
"I know you're only being nice to me out of pity, you can drop the act now."
Your words came out broken and between sobs. After you finished your sentence your breathing quickened again.
Jimin felt his heart being shredded into pieces as he saw your state. Did you really think that he hated you?
He could deal with that later, right now his main priority was getting your breathing regulated.
"Come here, we're gonna breathe together, okay? Can you do that for me?"
You were hesitant to approach him, but the offer of closeness was too inviting for you to turn down.
Jimin waited until you were seated directly in front of him before continuing.
"Hands on your belly. Now breathe in, and out."
It took a while before you were breathing again, but now Jimin could tackle the second issue at hand.
“What can I do to help you?”
Jimin sees the distrust on your face at his words and his chest squeezes sadly.
"I'm not doing this to get rid of guilt or anything like that, if that's what's running through your head."
“How do I- know that you're not just saying that to say it?"
Oh what Jimin wouldn't do to hand you the world.
"If I genuinely didn't care I wouldn't be here right now. You'd know if I was lying."
You think to yourself before giving into his offer with a small nod. Jimin smiles at your response.
“Do you need a distraction? Comfort? Water?”
“I think– I think comfort.”
"Okay. Do you want cuddles?"
Your brain short circuited, and Jimin took your silence as discomfort, so he rambled on.
"When I was younger, if I was ever scared of something, my mom would cuddle me and it always made me feel better. If you're not comfortable that's fine, I just think it would help."
You took a second to digest what Jimin had just asked you, never in a million years imagining you'd hear him asking you that, before nodding your head.
"Okay then, come here." Jimin laid down facing you and opened his arms expectantly, so you scooted closer to him and let him embrace you.
There's an inexplicable safety you felt surrounding him that had you melting into his hold. For the second time that day, his fingers gently played with your hair and you felt your walls come down a little further, warmth encasing both of you.
"You're so warm."
"Fuck do you think I am, a reptile? Of course l'm warm."
You scoffed at Jimin’s words, but stayed snuggled into him nonetheless.
"Are you uncomfortable?" You asked him.
"No. I'll let you in on a little secret of mine. I love cuddles. But only from specific people. But don't tell anyone.”
A soft giggle leaves your lips at his words, and Jimin decides that it's now his new favorite sound.
You pull back so you and Jimin are eye to eye; you want to speak but words are hard to convey.
“What's on your mind?” He's attentive, eyes searching yours for any hurt or worry.
“Do you cuddle with all your mission partners?” You try to lighten the mood and he laughs, so you assume it worked.
“No, only with the ones I like.”
His voice is soft when he says this, and it makes you melt a bit more.
“I really did think you hated me at one point.”
“I never did, I'm just very emotionally constipated. In all honesty I really do admire you, but I forced myself to see you as competition to avoid any of the weird emotional shit. Looks like it didn't work.” He finishes his sentence with a bitter chuckle; shame evident in his voice.
“I mean, I wasn't really all that nice to you either.” You try to easy his guilt.
“I wish we would've gotten off on the right foot.”
“Me too. But what's done is done.”
“I'm really sorry for not listening to you. I thought you were saying all of those things just to mess with me, but now I realize how stupid my logic sounds. Hearing what was happening over your microphone had me sick to my stomach. I can't even imagine how it must've felt for you.”
“It felt like my world was ending, honestly.” Your voice is quiet, but not enough to conceal how it cracks while tears pool in your eyes again.
“I never thought I would see him again. I'm still so scared, Jimin.” You begin to hiccup sobs, and he wastes no time in pulling you closer.
“It's okay. He's never coming near you again. I promise. You're safe, okay?” Jimin's voice was soft, feeling the way his chest vibrates against your head that's now tucked under it only helped calm you further.
You both remain like this until you've completely stopped crying and relaxed in his arms. Everything around you felt warm and tender, lulling you into deep sleep.
The last thing your brain manages to process is a soft kiss on your forehead, and words that sound a lot like:
“Goodnight, love.”
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