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goldsbitch · 17 days

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BEEP

First night in a shared apartment with Lando. All is idyllic - until there is an unidentifiable alarm sound, which brings out insecurities buried safely inside under normal circumstances.

fluff, anxiety vibes, one shot

Y/N was a baths type of person. In fact, Lando suspected her being a part-time mermaid. Always in a body of water, if possible. For hours and hours. Many times he had come to her home only to find her sitting in a bathtub of then already cold water on her "home office" hours, with a laptop on her precisely curated set up. He would come to her, chat a little and playfully splash some water into her face, before having her drain the tub and joining her after another set of hot water was in it. Even after that, he could only last about 20 minutes before getting uncomfortable.

He was glad water bills were not life or death for him when they moved together to their first official shared apartment in Monaco. Making it their own was her priority, so a bathtub was an absolute must. Pool nearby as well.

As far as moving houses goes, this was a hectic one. Lando's schedule making it hard for him to participate, so she had to organize it all with the help of movers. Cleaning out two apartments into one. She was few years younger than him and this was the first time she had actually moved on her own, making it a classic test of adulthood. There were few pseudo panic attacks involved during the process. However, the feeling of accomplishment? Being able to prove to herself that she can do it alone was something nobody could ever take from her. Another level of adulthood conquered. But she didn't want Lando to know about this little insecurity of hers - with him having to grow up faster than most of his peers, she sometimes felt like she was lacking behind. Though Lando never made any comment about that, in fact this did not cross his mind at all, until their first proper evening together in their new apartment.

Lando was excited for that evening, but he was proper tired. Physically and mentally drained. Few weeks of constant travel and racing drama had him totally off.

She managed to get most of things ready for his arrival. They hit the bubbly bathtub immediately upon him coming home. Lando was smitten. Coming home, it felt really refreshing after months of "your place or mine?".

It was raw, both of them naked facing each other in the tub, legs entangled, their bodies touching at multiple places. Hot steam coming out of the water filled the room, curling Lando's hair more that usually and the scent of her latest favorite vanilla bath salt gave into the relaxing atmosphere. They casually caressed each other, engaging in a light simple conversation, carefree and intimate.

All of that went out of the window when there was an excruciatingly loud and sharp beep alarm noise suddenly out nowhere.

BEEP

Y/N eyes went wide. Lando knew that look all too well by then. Pure panic. He knew there were few moments he had to stop her spiraling.

"What was that? Did you hear it?" she asked, boring her eyes in his for answers he did not have.

He smiled and tried to pass on some relaxing energy onto her. "Yes, I did...Calm down, it's probably nothing."

"Probably?! How can you be sure?"

Lando reached for her hand. "I'm sure. All is good and fine, let's not get bothered by anything. I missed you so much," he said truthfully. She was what he wanted to focus on. Not some nonsense sounds.

She eased a bit, her fingers still feeling tense in his hands. "I miss you everytime."

"Oh, so it's a competition now?" he smirked, happy he got her distracted.

BEEP

The two stared at each other in silence for few moments.

"Honey, ignore it," he said trying to sound more demanding than a plea.

Y/N took a deep breath in. "I am ignoring it."

"I can see that, clearly," he said sarcastically. "Tell me about your week instead. Were the movers ok? Did they do a good job?"

"Well, we're sitting here and we have a bed to sleep in, so I'd say it was a success," he replied dryly.

"You're my little nervous peach, aren't you?" he said, leaning closer to her so that he could caress her face. Oh boy, was he drowning in love with this strange human sitting across him.

She let go of her pout. "Yes...But, you're the one to talk! You always get nervous before a car upgrade."

He was truly fascinated how she was unapologetically able to compare new McLaren upgrades with a random beep sound. He'd already made a mental check of the things that could have been making that sound and figured all the important alarms made a completely different sound. For a moment, he imagined his girlfriend sitting in a formula 1 car going over 200 km/h, freaking out in the style only she knew how. He'd never admit this to her, but he found her "freaking out" face irresistible.

He calculated his response. "It's perfectly fine to get nervous. But trust me, this in nothing."

BEEP

Her question was almost immediate. "What if it's the gas. What if we have a gas leak. A guy came here to do an inspection yesterday, what if he didn't close the vent or whatever?"

"Honey, the gas is not even on now..." he looked at her perplexed.

She was unstoppable at this point. "I don't know that! I don't understand these things! It's all gas heater there, air conditioning here, water boiler this and insurance that. Did you know we need to have a property insurance for the lease?"

"Yes, I knew that." He was not sure how to keep responding at that point. The last thing he wanted was to make her spiral more.

"Well, I didn't! Felt like an absolute idiot talking to the guy, I thought these things were part of leases."

Lando squeezed her hand. "It's fine. Once we get out of the tub, we'll go and search for the sound. Hey, maybe it has already stopped."

She was staring at him, waiting for her cue, expecting a beep sound any moment now. He returned her look, challenging her, making a battle of who was right. And the sound? Suddenly, not even a little ding.

"See?" he said, really hoping it was not going to come as he finished.

Tension was high in the bathroom, making it the opposite of relaxing. Yet still, there was no place other than these two would rather be. Well, Y/N would rather be at the source of the forsaken beeping, but, that was not happening now.

"Ok. Maybe you're right," she said, visibly tired as well.

"We'll get out of this bath in few mins, have dinner in the bed, watch some nonsense and go to sleep, ok? I need your cuddles, desperately," he said softly and leaned to kiss her.

BEEP

"Oh my god, what is that???" she screamed in utmost annoyance.

"Honestly, it sounds like it's coming from outside the house," he observed - and she was not having it anymore.

She gave him a sassy smile. "So, what. Is it the apocalypse now?"

"It's not the apocalypse."

Flustered wave hit her face, having her melt down completely. "Why would someone install an alarm somewhere and have it beeping for no apparent reason? People don't do that."

"I don't know, my love..."

"That's ok, but I should know! I took over the apartment from the realtor - I should have asked!"

"And what would the question be? What are the things that could beep?"

She threw her arms out, splashing water everywhere and not even noticing it. "I don't know! That's the thing! I just don't know. And I don't have a single idea where people find these out. How come everyone around always seems to know and I'm here just sitting, vibing and hoping we're not going to burn the house down."

"Y/N? What's this about?" he asked, concerned. Was she ok? Was there something he'd missed?

She was on a roll, words just flowing out of her mouth, the way only speaking to Lando made her do. "I just feel so out of place some times. I'm doing all these adult things, far away from family and from you as well. And I want to be able to do it, I want to be a good adult. But I just don't know."

He tried to hold her hand once again, but she was busy having her arms crossed around her chest. "You're still young, this is growing up. I also don't know yet, many times..."

"I don't want to be your burden, I want to be your support."

"You are my support, what are you on about?"

"I was suppose to be in charge of the whole moving thing. And here we are and I can't even tell you what's beeping."

BEEP

"My god! Can it just stop! Please!"

Lando was still thinking about what she said previously. The familiar feeling she described.

"You did a great job with the move, by the way. Honestly. It would not happen without you. I wish I could be here more," he spoke slowly, hoping she would subconsciously join in his tune.

She sighed. Might as well get everything out now. "I love you, you know that. But it gets lonely sometimes. And there is no end of your nomadic lifestyle in sight. And what if you get bored of me once you stop traveling? We've never spent a month without a break together. What if when you're older, you decide I'm actually pretty boring and you leave me for someone younger. And I'll be old, pass my best years and alone once again."

She stopped, surprised a little bit by the words that came out of her. Now that it was out, it was impossible to ignore.

Lando was hyper focused now. Every word a calculated decision. This was no longer a chill chat.

BEEP

"Y/N. I love you too. And I love you the way you are and I can't imagine loving anyone else. I'm also excited for the older version of you to come one day, to accompany my older self that I have yet to meet. I want to be with you. My job is making this harder, but I hope this will not be an obstacle for you."

The last thing she wanted was to make him feel guilty. She got mad at herself for tangling things up together so much that it stopped making sense to her. "Of course not. I love your passion and the fact you dream big. Sorry, this got a little out of hand."

"No, I'm glad you're finally phrasing your worries. Is there anything more?" Lando was keen on continuing this impromptu chat.

"What if we grow apart? People change all the time. What if we stop wanting each other? How long can love last?"

He smiled. "For me it's impossible to imagine it now. I can only speak for my present self. But what you described it the last thing I'd ever want to happen."

Y/N took a deep breath once again. "Do you want children? Because I don't know yet. Yet, unlike you, I don't have the luxury of decades to decide. My time is slowly running up. And here I am, not even sure if want them?"

"Honey, plenty if time for that. I'm sure I do not want children in the next two years anyway. It must be real fun in your head sometimes - in one sentence you're too young to know adult stuff and in other you're too old for having children?"

She finally laughed. "Yeah. It is confusing sometimes."

"I hope you don't get offended, but you look absolutely gorgeous when you're flustered. Don't be too hard on yourself, please."

"I'll remind you of that when you're on your typical self-hate trip after a bad race."

"Touché." Got him there.

"Shall we get out of the bath? Would you mind searching with me for the alarm?"

"With you I'll be happy to do absolutely anything."

He got out and reached a hand for her when she was getting up, almost as a metaphor for her current state. They helped each other dry out, put on new matching bathrobes that Lando brought as a gift and searched the whole apartment for anything that could or would beep. There were few more beeps coming their way before they suddenly stopped. The two figured it really was coming somewhere from outside. Once Y/N was finally convinced they checked everything, she agreed on getting to bed and cuddle. Lando offered going out to get her ear buds for sleeping, but by that time it had already stopped.

They never found the source of the beeping. But, that's ok. Sometimes things just make unexpected noise and it's fine.

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #ln4 imagine #formula 1 #formula one x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #fluff #lando norris fluff #formula 1 fluff #formula 1 fanfic #ln4 x reader #ln4 x y/n #lando norris x y/n #formula 1 one shot #f1 one shot

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666soulz · 5 months

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rapper!connie first run in with fashionvlogger!reader was…interesting. you answered a question from a fan on twitter who asked if you could style one rapper who would it be? you replied saying, ‘connie springer, his music don’t match his style. he dressing like a regular hood nigga when he should be dressing like a bad bitch with a dark lair. pisses me off.’

eren snorted when he seen the tweet and sent it to connie. at first he was a little offended and was about to clean you right on up, but when he saw the comments agreeing??? he had to find out why your opinion mattered so much. so the the first thing he did was tap that instagram link. 550k followers. hmm. he seen that plenty of his celebrity mutuals followed you.

hollowsoul

followed by thegirljt, gunna, liluzivert and others.

when he tapped on your pinned photo he almost drooled at your beauty, your body, and the outfit you were wearing. you indeed had that shit on to the T. connie caught himself scrolling through your feed as his anemic ass shook ice into his mouth. you sure did have a love for all black outfits.

he taps on that message button and types in two words. ‘style me’

your phone lights up as you stir around the meat in the pan. you put your glass of wine down to pick up your phone.

instagram

new message

you tap on the notification and it takes you to the dm. you didn’t really have a shocked reaction, but you were surprised that he even bothered to to dm you. connie was semi private. he has moments where he’s very active on social media then he becomes a ghost.

‘sure long as your okay with me vlogging’

connie puts his cup of ice down beside his feet warning his dog, Choppo, to not touch before replying to you.

‘i don’t mind. you free on friday?’

‘i am’

ight let’s meet at the outlet mall on Lafayette @ 1 then. you mind if me, my friends, and security come?

okay sounds good and i don’t mind at all. see you on friday x

trust me you were less boring in person. connie was lacking in first impression as he was late to you guys shopping date.

you didn’t mind though, you were right in dior trying on sunglasses. “how these look y’all?” you ask your camera. “i don’t know they’re kinda cunt..” you say looking in the small mirror. you didn’t even notice connie and his crew walking in and walking towards you.

“i like them.”

you look behind you, seeing connie and his friends. connie took you in while you were distracted and you were better in person. you were in an all black outfit, of course, and you looked fucking beautiful.

“they’re cute right?” you smile looking up at the 6’1 FINE ass dominican man. one thing that also irritated you about connie’s style is that it doesn’t emphasize his face. connie face card was something different. He had beautiful features, hazel eyes, low lids, some pretty plump lips, and he was pulling off a buzz cut like david beckham in the 2000’s. not many people can do that.

“yeah, sorry I was late. had to drop my sister off to her dance practice.” connie says you wave him off, “oh I'm not worried about it. it gave me time to think of what stores i want to go to.” you say taking your glasses off. “hey it’s nice to meet y’all,” you said looking at the two men behind connie. eren and ony. they weren’t a group but they put out some collab albums. those albums were heat, and was always playing when you were working out or cleaning.

“we’re starting here by the way. can’t go wrong with dior. do you have a favorite fashion brand or designer?” you ask connie as you walked over to the men’s section.

“uhm nike?”

“nike..? you know what i’m just..i’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that.“ you say shaking your head in disappointment. ony was laughing to himself in the background cause he could hear it in your voice.

“what’s wrong with nike?” connie smiles as you picked up a dior sweater. “well first off all nike is a sports brand i’m talking about a fashion brand like rick owens, true religion, moschino.

“what’s a moschino?” connie scrunches his face and he was dead serious.

“do you know who jeremy scott is? law roach?”

“are these random white people?”

you looked at connie like he was a little lost baby, pouting your glossy lips. “aw you are so cute.” you pinch his cheek. “this is my favorite part. teaching you the ins and out of fashion.” you smile pushing an outfit into his chest. “go try this on.”

connie found out that you were a bossy little thing. if he didn’t like something, “oh well too bad you’re getting it anyways.” ony and eren enjoyed seeing him get bossed around as he was usually the demanding one in the studio. you had fun telling connie stuff about fashion and how to put together a good outfit.

connie left that outlet with a new wardrobe, friend, and crush. a very big crush that his friends noticed. the way connie blushed like some nerdy school boy every time you’d hype him up. you noticed as well and found it absolutely adorable.

“do that lil pose that you do. period!”

you enjoyed Connie's presence. He was a mix between laidback and hyper. like when he got comfortable around you, he got to cracking jokes. even joking you. picking up some ugly ass cowgirl boots and saying, “this looks like something you’d like.” and you’d just give him a little playful glare telling him to not play with you.

you left Connie with a homework assignment. learn how to use pinterest and make a pinterest board.

#just making up scenarios #whatever flows ig #aot x black reader #connie springer #aot smut #connie x black!reader #connie springer x black!reader #connie springer x y/n #black reader #connie x black reader #aot x reader #connie springer x black reader

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imagines-books · 1 month

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Hugs - Luke Hughes

Luke Hughes x fem!Reader

Summary: When the reader is embarrassed to tell Luke how she really feels about his lack of showing affection in public.

I am the type of person that my love language is touch, any kind of touch at that. Whether it was hand holding or even just holding my partners finger. Many of my past boyfriends had broken up with me because of it, and that's why I was scared to bring out that side of me around Luke.

Luke and I have only been dating for three months now and we met five months ago. Our relationship was new but it was going great. The only problem was he was not one to show to much PDA, we never really touched each other in any way in public.

Luke liked to keep our relationship out of the media, and I did not blame him. He had two brothers in the NHL and was one of the star players on the University of Michigan hockey team. So of course people followed him around with cameras and always wanted to know anything they could about his personal life. That's why he did not like to show any sort of affection in public. I didn't blame him for wanting to keep his personal life private but of course my stupid anxiety always made me second guess his reasons for keeping us out of the press.

I was just sitting in my dorm room thinking about how no one besides our friends knew we were dating, and how everyone in the world thought Luke was single because we did not show our relationship to the media. I started to spiral in my head thinking the worst. "Did he want to be with me?" "Was he embarrassed of me?" "Am I not pretty enough for him to show off?" And the list continued.

I just sat there in my thoughts for a good thirty minutes, until I had enough and decided to try to go and distract myself by watching TikTok. I opened my phone and as I was scrolling through my FYP I was seeing so many edit of Luke and how people were so happy he was still single. I started looking though some of the comments and they said things like "I could so pull him" "I'm so glad he's single" "I can't wait to try to get with him". And many more comments like that.

Again this caused me to spiral and I started crying this time thinking the same thoughts I was before. "Did he want to be with me?" "Was he embarrassed of me?" "Am I not pretty enough for him to show off?". After my break down I checked my phone to see a text from Luke that read "I can't believe you didn't show up. I hope whatever your doing right now is more important than your boyfriend. I did not even realize how much time had passed and had totally forgotten that Luke had a game tonight that I promised him I would go to. When I finally looked at the time I saw that his game would be over in ten minutes and it was not even worth it. I would just try to explain to him why I did not go without crying.

Luke's POV

I had been texting Olivia before our game and she was not answering so I just assumed she was sitting with her friends in the stands and her phone was off. But when I skated out for warmups looking for her in the stands I did not see her anywhere. Her friends were here to support there boyfriends that were on the team but there was no Liv. Of course I was upset this was our opening home game and my girlfriend was not here to see it.

I tried my best to get my mind off of her but I just couldn't help but feel disappointed that she was not here. She said she could not wait to come see me play and that she would not miss it for the world. When warmups were over I decided to text her out of sadness and rage for her not being here. After I sent what I wrote I immediately regretted it, but there was nothing that could be done as we were going out onto the ice. I felt like a jerk.

Your POV/Olivia POV:

His game was over now and I tried to call him but it just rang and then went to voicemail. So I decided to text him. "I'm sorry I missed your game you have no idea how bad I feel, and there no excuse for why I was not there but can you just come over so I can tell you face to face". I never got a response back but I saw that he had read it.

About twenty minutes after I sent the text there was a knock on my door and I was only hoping it was Luke. "Come in" I said in a quiet voice. The door opened and there was Luke standing there with a look that I could not read on his face. It looked to be mad, sad, but also disappointed; which I did not blame him for I would be too if I were him.

He looked up at me and saw my puffy eyes and the dried tear stains on my cheeks, and his look immediately changed from disappointment and anger to one that looked like he was worried. He came over to me fast and cupped my face in his hands looking me over trying to decipher what was wrong and why I had been crying.

Luke's POV:

After I got that text from Olivia asking for me to come to her dorm so she could tell me whey she missed my game I did not know what to feel. I was still upset with her, but something in me told me to go see her so I did.

Twenty minutes after I got the text I was standing at her dorm room knocking on the door. I heard a quiet "come in" from the other side of the door. When I walked in I saw she had puffy eyes and dried tear stains on her cheeks. I immediately forgot about why I was mad at her and rushed to her side, grabbing her face in my hand to determine what was wrong.

Luke's POV:

I just kept looking at her his my hands on her face and my thumbs stroking her cheeks. "Sweetheart what wrong, why were you crying" just that sentence that came from my mouth sent her into tears again. She started crying and I just got even more worried having no idea what was wrong. So I did the only thing I could think of and that was to pull her into my arms and try to comfort her the best I could.

I pulled her into my arms and climbed on to her bed still holding her close to me, and trying to soothe her cry's. "Shhh it's ok, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere" is what I kept repeating as I rubbed her back and stroked her hair.

When that was not working I decided to lay down and pull her on top of me putting her head right where my heart was. "I need you to take deep breaths Liv, breathe with me and listen to my heart". When she started to do as I said and her breathing was not as rapid as it was before I sat up with her still in my arms so I could see her face.

When she looked up at me it made my heart break, I had no idea what was wrong with her and why she was hurting. That hurt me, that I did not know how to help her. I cupped her face again and wiped off all of the tears that were on her face and said "can you tell me what's got my girl so upset, I want to fix it, I want to see that smile I love so much".

Your POV/Olivia POV:

After Luke had calmed me down he cupped my face and said "can you tell me what's got my girl so upset, I want to fix it, I want to see that smile I love so much". I just looked at him not wanting to tell him the reason I was crying because it was embarrassing. I also did not want to tell him that my love language was touch and that I had been feeling this way our whole relationship.

So I did the only thing I could think of and that was to open the edits of him I saw on my TikTok to show him the comments. After I showed him many comments he just looked confused wondering why I had showed him those. So I spoke up.

"Everyone thinks that you're single, and I get that you don't want our relationship all over the media but holding hands in public is not a crime. I just want people to know that you're not single and that you are in a happy relationship with someone. I don't know why you don't want to even just kiss my cheek in public but it makes me think that your embarrassed of me, or that I'm not pretty enough for you to show off in public. I'm upset because I just want people to know that you're taken, but you won't show me any affection in public, and it makes me want to cry every time that happens".

Luke just looked at me like someone had shot his favorite puppy. He looked so unbelievably sad. He finally spoke up and said "Liv I had no idea you felt like that. I course I'm not embarrassed of you, and don't even think for a second that you are anything less the so beautiful that I can't even put it into words to describe. If you had just told me how you had been feeling I would have fixed it in an instant".

"Really" I mumbled. He looked at me and let out a small smile and said "really. I never want you feeling like this again. From now on every time we go out in public I will be holding your hand and showing you as much affection as I can". I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around him hugging him tight.

After we hugged for a good ten minutes I pulled away and said "I should also tell you something else". He smiled at me and put his hands on my waist his thumbs going under my shirt and rubbing my sides. "You can tell me anything, no more hiding our thoughts and feelings" he said. I took and deep breath and spit out what I had always wanted to say

"mylovelanguageisphyscialtouchandidnotwantottellyouthatincaseyouweregoingtobreakuowithmylikemyladtboyfriends" he just looked at me like i came from another planet and said "I did not hear a word you just said you are going to need to say that a lot slower". I took another see breath and tried again "my love language is physical touch and I did not want to tell you that in cause you were going to break up with my like my last boyfriend's".

"I would never break up with you because of that, from now on whenever I am with you I will be holding you or touching you in some way. You don't need to feel unwanted anymore, because I want you and your suck with me" is what he said. I smiled at him and wrapped him in another big hug holding him as tight as I could without hurting him, and him doing the same to me.

He moved us so that we were lying down on my bed under my blankets with me on top of him and his arms wrapped around my waist. He moved one arm to stroke my hair and that started to put me to sleep. Before I fell fully asleep I heard him whisper "I'm so sorry I made you feel like that, never again will that happen, your stuck with me forever I'm never letting you go. I know it might be a bit early to say this but I love you Olivia". I felt him kiss my head and then hug me even tighter if that was possible and we both fell asleep.

Let's just say the next day he posted me on his social media and I posted him on mine, and whenever we were out in public he was always holding my hand where ever we went. He always made sure that I was ok from then on and always helped me with the media and the hate comments they sent my way.

#nhl imagine #nhl players #hughes brothers #luke hughes #hockey #imagine #romance #luke hughes x reader

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thefuseoftemptation · 5 days

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wrong number

'you get a phone call and find out it's a wrong number but realize that you don't want to stop talking to the person at the other end. come to find out, he's from another decade.’

eddie munson x reader/ eddie munson x gn!reader

warning(s): cursing, au (not sure if it would be considered an au but imma put it), mention of modern time. I'm just putting tags I'm not even sure what to tag this under. lmk if there are more.

a/n: prompt # 4 from the strangerprompts by @allthingsjoeq @somnambulic-thing and @bettyfrommars. mkay, I've never done these types of things or participated before, but yknow, I took a shot and I liked it lol so thank you guys!

—

"What?"

Your voice was nothing short of clipped. The results of hearing your phone vibrate too many times for you to tolerate another call going unanswered.

It was abnormal in your opinion. To receive this many calls from the same number within a short time.

While sure, you occasionally complained about the lack of service that came through the device due to your inability to actually hold a relationship with anybody, much less a conversation, this isn't what you were looking for.

And if your shortness wasn't clear enough before, your annoyance must've been by the way you questioned a 'hello,' with a lifted brow. Not really saying it as one should when normally speaking to someone. That was, if anyone was even on the other side.

"Uh, hello." The voice imitated your previous tone, pulling out the last vowel as he sung it.

He.

If you had to guess, probably no more than your age.

"Huh, so you can speak? You know you could've begun with that? When someone picks up the phone after being called, who knows how many times," you state through your teeth, "the least you could do is have the decency to actually say something when they answer."

"Y’know I don’t like your tone, we’re going to try this again.” He mouthed.

“Wait, what? No-”

He hung up before you could refuse. Your phone pulled away from your ear as your mind tried to catch up with what just happened. And in the midst of that, your phone vibrated, again.

Your finger hovered over the button as you eyed the device, sliding it over when you’d been staring long enough.

“Hello?” You questioned, unsure. The shift in your tone is clearly obvious.

“You learn quickly.”

The same voice replied back, and his response had you narrowing your eyes.

Asshole.

“I had said it before. You were the one who needed the lesson in how to answer back.” You reiterate.

“Well, m’not about to respond to somebody who starts a conversation with 'what.' I mean, have you no manners?" The guy said. You could hear the lilt in his voice and how he seemed to be grinning on the other side, but you had to shake your head from thinking any further on it because there was still a question that you'd been meaning to ask.

"Who are you?"

"It's your conscience, clearly I haven't been able to get through to you which is why you're probably lacking, well, manners, but- worry not, for I am here."

You weren't sure if it was you still trying to comprehend everything that's happened in the last few minutes, or that this guy knew how to pull conversation so easily that you went along with it- but you hadn't even realized he never properly answered or that he just lowkey called you out on something you knew was evident to a blind person.

And you didn't even correct him, and rather than just hang up on someone you didn't know, you stayed on the phone and chose to enlighten him.

"Hm, so that's what that was? Who would've thought I'd have one of those," you sighed and shrugged, leaning back against the bed frame. You could hear him snort at the small insult you'd given yourself, hearing the feign in your voice was enough to let him know your humor was in tack.

It made you grin. The first of many, and the first in a while to tell the truth. You also couldn't stop yourself from thinking about how this was probably the longest conversation you've ever held with someone.

"I'm Eddie." His voice pulled you from your thoughts, trying to catch up in the moments you'd been away.

"Huh?"

You could hear chuckling before it was repeated. "My name. You asked me who I was."

Eddie.

It didn't sound familiar. You didn't know anyone named Eddie, but then again, you didn't really know anyone and you had questioned it when you guy's began talking. It was a number you'd never seen before either so there was that.

You hadn't realized you'd been quiet until Eddie spoke.

"Y'know, this is where you tell me your name." He remarked. "We really gotta work on your communication skills and social cues." Unbeknownst to you though, since you only just met the guy, he shouldn't be one to talk.

You let out something between a scoff and a breathy chuckle before telling him yours. And Eddie repeated what you did moments ago- saying your name under his breath, to himself- as if he was worried he'd forget it in those few seconds.

It was easy to get into conversation with him, primarily because he kept pulling you into things he’d knew would get a response out of you. Like saying shit that you’d end up reprimanding him for because it annoyed you.

He knew that, and you weren’t so sure you liked how transparent you seemed to be. You’d known him for only a short time and he already knew how to push your buttons. Which you told him but his response was anything but what you expected it to be. He simply shrugged it off, telling you that ‘you let it get to you.’

To which you rebutted fully knowing he was right, which annoyed you more. Though other than that, the conversation between you two had been decent.

There were a few times when you had been confused by what he’d been speaking about, but you just assumed it was the way he was. I mean, the guy spent- you’re guessing- most of his time today calling the wrong number, only to hang up on you just to call you again because he didn’t like your tone. And then went on to call you out on your shit, which by the way, you still haven’t let go of. Either way, you just thought that what he was talking about, was how he spoke. A sort of slang, you know? I mean, now, that’s all people use these days.

Who were you to question it? It’s not like you could ask anybody what it meant. You weren’t even sure what the words were yourself. I mean you did but nobody said that sort of thing anymore.

There were a few moments of silence that occurred, mainly between your guys' turns in speaking. It wasn’t until you heard him on his end that you asked what he’d been up to. He kept muttering something under breath.

Well, it was more him humming, every other minute or so though you’d hear a word, and the more he hummed- the more familiar it sounded.

“Is that…..Metallica?” You peeked, unsure if you were right. His side went quiet the second you said it, and you could assume it was because you were likely wrong in your guess.

“Y-You know Metallica?” Eddie enounced. He was standing upright, his previous stance of leaning on the frame gone, as he stood there with wide eyes and mouth agape at your sudden query.

So you were right.

“Uh, yes.” It came out sounding like a question rather than you stating the obvious. “My Uncle used to listen to them. Whenever he came over when I was younger, that was all I’d ever hear. He’d tell us he grew up on them, so it was only right that we did too.” You explained. Eddie’s mouth stretched up at hearing your words, too caught up in the story to comprehend what you just said.

“I’ve never-” and then it hit him. His brows pinched together as he pulled the phone away from his ear. Did he hear you right? “Wait…grew up on them?” If it hadn’t been for the way you told the story, as if it actually happened, he would’ve thought you were pulling his leg. And you probably were so he just reacted logically. He chuckled. “Mkay, right right.”

It was your turn to pinch your face together, not understanding his sudden shift or why he was chuckling to begin with. “What? It’s true. The man grew up on them.” You raised, still clearly confused by his response.

“Mhm, sure.” You could hear the way he pulled the word, like he wasn’t convinced at all. Why was it so hard for him to get that what you were saying was true? “He’d have to be my age, kid.” He voiced.

W-What?

“Excuse me?” You uttered, sitting up from your bed frame. Not only were you confused but you were getting a little freaked out. He sounded young, your age, give or take. There was no way you had been conversing with a guy in his 50’s.

“You heard me, he’d have to be my age. There’s no way this guy grew up on them. The band isn’t even that old, it hasn’t been that long. I mean, I get we were joking before but man, you really got me there. I almost fell for it!” Eddie said. “How old are you?” He managed through his breathy laughs.

You could feel your heart pick up, the genuineness clear in his voice. He really thought you were joking, that everything you just said in the last few minutes was made up. But it hadn’t been and that’s what had you getting up from your bed. This was beginning to be too much for you.

“E-Eddie, what are you talking about? You’re freaking me out.”

And suddenly it wasn’t so amusing anymore. His face fell upon hearing your tone. The humor he once found in the situation, now gone, as he stared ahead. You sounded worried, alarmed even. It was quiet for a few seconds until he spoke, his tongue swiped his bottom lip before he did so.

“Uhm, look t-this isn’t-” his hand wiped down his face. “W-What are you talking about, man? One minute we're laughing and joking around and the next you’re telling me about your Uncle growing up on Metallica. There’s no way! Mkay?” He was getting agitated, visibly shaken up as he thought about you on the other side in the same state. “Like I said, the band isn’t even that old. It's only been a couple of years, it’s 1986 for christ sake!” And though he had been saying it all so fast, you still understood them. It’s why you felt yourself unable to move upon hearing his last few words.

1986.

The numbers repeated over and over in your head as you stood there.

“W-What?” You stuttered, voice shaky as you asked. It wasn’t possible. “It’s not!” You raise, your hands moving with a mind of their own as you swiped out of where you were and looked at the screen. In the corner of your phone, the current date stared back. The time you were currently in. As in, right now. You could hear Eddie speaking but because you didn’t have it against your ear, you couldn’t tell what exactly he’d been saying.

It’s not possible, it's not possible, it’s not.

He said it like it was true. He didn't just think it was 86', he was saying it like he knew it was. It was just impossible, the year he said, wasn’t the year you were in.

You lifted the phone back up to your ear, hands unable to keep still as you look ahead. Your eyes glassy as you spoke.

“Who are you?”

Eddie’s breath picked up at the way you questioned it, your voice at a whisper. He ran his hand through his hair again, already disheveled from how many times he’d done it prior to when you went quiet.

“I told you. My name is Eddie....and it's 1986."

Your eyes shut as he uttered his name, the lack of deceit evident.

—

a/n: I wasn't sure how to end it.

feedback and reblogs are appreciated.

#strangerprompts #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson hcs #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson one shot

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blacknedsoul-blog · 2 months

Text

A detailed explanation from my headcanon that Annabel has ADHD

So I had this six fucking hour trip. On a bus. Alone. And I was bored out of my mind, because sitting around being bored is as close to mental torture as it gets for me.

Fortunately, the light at the end of the tunnel: I was inspired. Away from the burnout I have with fanfics, I remembered that I've mentioned this headcanon several times on Nevermore's Discord and just thought, what better time to talk about ADHD than when I'm having a pretty ADHD moment?

But before I start, there are a few little things that need to be pretty clear on the table:

I'm being a bit hypocritical here: in general, I'm deeply against diagnosing fictional characters for two reasons: first, it's an impossible task to distinguish between character traits and symptoms to such an extent that you can go around forever without coming to a real conclusion unless the author of the work confirms it, and second, even if you have the disorder you're talking about, you can fall into the trap of perpetuating stereotypes or generalizing, thereby invalidating other experiences. So even if the tone of this review sounds very assertive, it is because of my writing style. I am in no way diagnosing Annabel; this is an analysis of her character through the lens of a possible disorder.

In relation to the above, where I point out an event in the comic that can be read as a symptom, I am not reducing it to "this only happens because she has ADHD". You CAN'T reduce a person's personality to "they has a disorder," and when I point out these examples, I'm not doing so with the intention of denying the background behind it, but rather pointing out how, under the magnifying glass of having it, it might exacerbate that behavior.

I am NOT a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a neurologist: I am a woman with ADHD. One who has done a lot of research on the subject, been in therapy with a psychologist who specializes in the disorder, and talked extensively about it both with friends who also have it and with professionals. But I don't have a career in mental health, I don't pretend to, and everything you'll read below is a mixture of research and personal experience.

You're going to see a lot of "we" or "those of us with ADHD" because, as I said, I have it too, but this is all a generalization made for the sake of flow. The symptoms of this disorder can be expressed in many different ways, and not everyone has all of them (for example, there are some that I don't have, but it would be strange to change the voice of the text just because of that, it makes it harder to read). If you have ADHD and read a symptom and think "hey, I don't get that", that's perfectly normal. Your experience is valid and I don't want to pass it on. But it would be exhausting for me and for the reader to use tentative phrases all the time.

If this text resonates too much with you, I strongly recommend that you see a professional, if you're able, and not self-diagnose: ADHD has many symptoms in common with autism and other neuro divergences, don't risk misdiagnosis.

If you have a different opinion than mine on this subject and want to share it with me, I'll be happy to read it, if I don't answer it's because I forgot (forgive me?). But you can be sure that I will read it.

Anyway, let's get started.

What is ADHD?

According to the NIH (National Institute of Mental Health) website, this is the definition of ADHD:

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. People with ADHD experience an ongoing pattern of the following types of symptoms:

Inattention means a person may have difficulty staying on task, sustaining focus, and staying organized, and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.

Hyperactivity means a person may seem to move about constantly, including in situations when it is not appropriate, or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, hyperactivity may mean extreme restlessness or talking too much.

Impulsivity means a person may act without thinking or have difficulty with self-control. Impulsivity could also include a desire for immediate rewards or the inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may interrupt others or make important decisions without considering long-term consequences.

Here is an impression that needs to be clarified: ADHD is more about an inability to regulate attention than a lack of it. A neurotypical person may choose to focus on a task to get it done, we may procrastinate to death because even if we want to, we can't focus on it, or stand there absorbed in it ad infinitum until the house falls down around us (and we may still have trouble noticing). This is understood, Understanding all this, here is the list of Annabel's behaviors that could be interpreted as symptoms.

Hyperactivity

One thing that not everyone knows is that hyperactivity is not about running around like an uncontrolled animal. It can manifest itself in many ways, and there are many types: physical, mental, and even emotional.

In Annabel's case, she seems to be the first two types.

Perhaps due to her difficulty in expressing emotions, it is quite obvious at this point in the comic that her moods are made explicit through gestures: playing with her rings when she is happy or nervous, touching the ribbon around her neck in moments of anxiety, or playing with her hair almost as a default state.

Annabel.

Doesn't.

Sit.

Still.

Never.

It is also clear that Annabel is always planning something. Always.

This can be read into the logic of mental hyperactivity: when you have it, your brain just doesn't stop. Ever. And that's something that resonates with this lady.

Emotional Dysregulation

The part of the brain that regulates our moods works…erratically. Not to say it doesn't work at all.

This leads to a painfully common problem in women with ADHD: lack of emotional regulation is seen as drama, and instead of being taught tools to deal with it, we are taught to repress and bottle up emotions.

Annabel has highly internalized this as a defense mechanism. But here's the thing: if repressing emotions instead of learning how to deal with them in a healthy way is harmful, being biologically unable to regulate them can be even worse.

It touches the right nerves, and if you catch us flying low, it can cause explosive outbursts.

Possibly violent reactions to feeling offended or uncomfortable.

Or completely over-the-top reactions that we can't control.

And it's not just anger that's affected, it's the whole emotional spectrum. Another emotion that is very noticeable is fear. If we don't develop tools to help us calm down, we don't get scared, we panic.

If this happens too often, we can become prone to developing severe anxiety or frequent attacks.

We may also have great difficulty dealing with frustration. Our brains love rewards, and feeling that we're not getting them because of our own inability to do something can be downright annoying. And if we don't have the tools to express our frustration appropriately, we can have quite childish reactions, ranging from temper tantrums to…pouting.

I find it funny how several of these pouts are caused by Lenore, a bit like "Oh, come on, honey, what are we talking about?"

Another important thing to note here is that one of the most fucked up and notorious symptoms of this lack of emotional regulation is RSD, short for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, defined as "a problem that interferes with your ability to regulate your emotional responses to feelings of failure and rejection. While rejection is almost always unpleasant, people with RSD experience overwhelming levels of emotional pain. This can lead to long-term mental health problems, fear of failure, and behavioral changes that negatively affect them throughout their lives."

Rejection and fear of failure are a problem for us. So much so that we may seek strategies to avoid it as much as possible, even when it causes us problems (such as not completing a task for fear of doing it wrong). This is an issue that can tear us apart emotionally.

Annabel is terrified of being rejected or despised. Her whole life has been built around appearances and getting the right people interested in her. If she can't do that, what good is she?

And that's something that comes up a lot in her relationship with Lenore. Repeatedly, in fact, but my favorite has to be this one:

Annabel thought it would be the smart thing to do to break that bond because she knows they're never going to see each other again. But the look on her face when Lenore calls her a "damn liar" is just painful to watch. I think ripping her heart out with a rusty spoon would have hurt less.

Finally, on the subject of things that aren't so funny: that thing Annabel does about biting her fingers when she's in a critical situation is something I used to do, too (only I'd bite my knuckles or palms).

My psychologist explained to me that when you feel like you're losing control, you immediately look for something to ground you, and unfortunately, physical pain is often a quick (if damaging) way to do that.

Codependency

Okay, here's a thing: it's not that we have a tendency as such to codependency, but this is a situation that can occur due to bad practices within a relationship. Especially a couple one.

As it stands out, people with ADHD can have a lot of problems with micromanaging ourselves, remembering things, dealing with our emotions, etc, etc, etc. And it is natural for close friends, family or our partner to help in those processes.

The problem arises when that help starts to become a parentification process where the partner who is providing support starts to do this on behalf of the other person, infantilizing them in the process.

This is a cocktail for resentment on both sides: the party calling the shots can easily feel that the other is putting a huge burden on their shoulders and not trying hard enough, while, on the other side, no one likes to feel like they are being treated like a child. Let alone that the person doing it is your partner.

But at the other end of resentment, there's codependency.

The constant feeling that you are a burden, insufficient or even disposable.

And that means you have a lot to make up for. On a regular basis. So much that you put yourself in a situation where you have to make horrible decisions so that someone else doesn't have to because somehow you owe it to them, who hasn't had that happen?

What I mean is that yes, Annabel feels like she owes this to Lenore because she only remembers the part where Lenore came kicking in doors to save her from a marriage she didn't want. And if she can't do this for her, she doesn't deserve a relationship.

Feeling inadequate, that your partner is doing you some kind of favor by tolerating you and ending up idealizing their in the process is obviously not unique to the neurodivergent experience.

But we try, we try really hard and, like anyone else, we like to feel that the effort we put in is seen and valued.

If we are not careful about that, we do indeed fall into the risk of becoming codependent. The desire to feel loved or valued becomes a constant hunger for validation from which it is difficult to escape because we are aware that our brain will never function in a different way. And if that is mixed with RSD, it can become an even bigger problem.

Novelty, games, challenges, and rewards

Producing dopamine on a normal basis is one thing our brains aren't very good at (one of the reasons we can be prone to depression, for example), but you know what they love? Challenges and rewards.

New things feed our endless curiosity, but for some reason unknown to me, our brains really love challenges and dares. They give us dopamine like we're on a high.

So much so that some people use it as a tactic to perform tasks they don't like: "How many dishes can I wash before my dinner is ready?", "If I can finish this in less than 30 minutes, I can go get chocolate."

One medium we may like very much for this reason is games. Board games, card games, or virtual games. It doesn't matter. Games provide a very good balance of challenge and reward.

If you see that Annabel seems overly interested in how this works, it's because there may be a part of her that thinks "aside from the deadly situation we're in…this is like the most hardcore escape room ever" and inevitably there's something here that stirs her bug.

It may be something she loves about Lenore. As a good hypocrite, Annabel despises the rules she knows so well, so when Lenore comes along with this gimmick and completely changes the paradigm of what she knows, there is inevitably something that appeals to her. Others who are good at the game look down on Lenore's disdain for the rules, to Annabel it is fucking appealing because it offers a range of unexplored possibilities that she fucking loves.

Erratic Communication

When our brains are running at full speed, communication can become a challenge, and we tend to exhibit erratic patterns.

One of these is info-dumping. Touch a topic we know about or are interested in and it's like stepping on a landmine: we explode talking about it. Non-stop. You'll have to hit us to shut us up.

Another thing is that we can have a bad habit of interrupting. A lot. It's not malicious, it's just that we're really into the conversation and want to participate as much as possible.

That said, even if we're extroverts, it can be a nightmare to withhold information or participate in a conversation if it doesn't grab our attention. It's not that we want to be disrespectful or anything, it's just that, again, we have no control over our ability to pay attention and we're swimming against the tide to hold on to whatever it is you're telling us.

This scene is something I've seen in friends with ADHD and have been told I do: stare at people while doing your best to do the hamster run to remember what they're telling you because you know it's important, even though your brain is putting it together with junk information because it's not engaging your attention in the right way.

Ignore the murderous stare part, it's not that common - at least I hope not.

Drinks that are like a pill

Our brains are not designed to produce certain hormones naturally or, in some cases, they produce them under other circumstances. For things like that, we can take pills, develop strategies to help our brains produce hormones.

And drink coffee. Lots of coffee.

Caffeine can be extremely relaxing for us because it can actually help our brains keep functioning, you know that stereotype of the highly coded ADHD character who drinks coffee like it's his life? Well, that's because.

You know what other beverage has a similar effect? Tea. Theine is also a natural activator, perhaps less aggressive than coffee, but it can have a similar effect.

If you're interested in describing this topic in fanfic or touching on it in fanart, tea should have a relaxing effect on Annabel and even help her concentrate.

Boredom

We get bored. A lot. And we get painfully bored. Here's what happens: boredom is caused by a lack of stimulation, and our brains aren't stimulated just because we can't regulate our attention to seek out that stimulation.

Add to that the fact that when we are bored, without dopamine hitting our receptors, our executive functions diminish and we function like shit.

Boredom

Fucking

Murder

Because our brain starts desperately asking for dopamine and we can fall into really unhealthy behaviors like fighting, being chronically online, or eating because we can't find anything better to do. This also contributes -again- to our depression or anxiety.

Conclusions (and if I don't make the joke, I'll die)

In the book ADHD After Dark (a study of ADHD, relationships, and physical intimacy), Ari Tuckman draws some interesting conclusions, one of which is that on a statistical level, people with ADHD seem to be more likely to have what he calls "sexual eagerness": kinks, fetishes, a tendency to be adventurous in bed, and the like. Again, our brains love play, and both intimacy and flirtation can involve a lot of it.

So…

Um…

…well, I think Lenore will be happy. Good for her.

Anyway, this has been a seriously long explanation. Thanks for reading this far.

#nevermore webtoon #annabel lee nevermore #lenore nevermore #white raven #annabel lee whitlock #lenore vandernacht #annabel lee x lenore #lennabel #nevermore webcomic

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znitsamluv · 7 months

Note

Hiii if ur not busy can you do this?

Soulmate AU Chifuyu x fem reader (who is a valhalla captain). Its the one where if your soulmate gets injured you get the same injuries too. So during the time when chifuyu got hit by the first punch by baji in the valhalla arcade, reader quickly realizes and basically runs out bc obviously she can't risk seeing being soulmates with a rivalling gang member.

The rest is up to you on how it goes. But if you don't want to do this its fine!

Fate !

Note: had some much writing this and I hope you liked it too anon since I am not really good with writing oneshots , anyway have fun.

Chifuyu x FEM!reader

Warnings: Kisaki, mentions of Bruises and fighting but not overly detailed just mentioned a few times.

" you are late ... Again "

I glanced at kisaki for a second and shrugged my shoulders not really feeling intimated

" My bad "

I walked away but didn't fail to hear kisaki scoffing, even though he is younger and weaker than most of us he wasn't a person to be taken lightly which makes me patient around his bratty attitude and lack of respect to those around him.

I walked further in the hideout and saw hanma grinning widely as two blonde boys wearing the toman uniform stood in the hideout, my eyes widened for a second they are really asking for death !

It all happened so quickly, I made eye contact with one of them and I felt an electric shock that lasted for a second leaving me with goosebumps.

'Huh?!' I couldn't even have time to process as Baji started beating up the blonde one which I heard his name was chifuyu, every blow and punch I felt it deep in my guts , I can feel my lungs struggle to breathe just like chifuyu must be feeling , I could feel my head spinning, he is going to pass out if I didn't do something.

I quickly pushed Baji away and looked at Hanma and kisaki.

" that's is enough we don't want to kill someone and cause problems"

My breath was shaky but I managed to hide it well , I was a higher rank member in Valhalla and my orders were as important as kisaki and hanma so other members started clearing the way.

" I will take care of that boy before toman realize he is missing "

I didn't wait to hear an answer as I bent down taking a hold of chifuyu's arm and pushing him to stand then making him lean on me as I dragged his half conscious body outside the hideout.

His pain was mine , I could feel how his jaw aches from Baji's earlier punches and how his left eye kept twitching in pain and I could only imagine the ugly bruise that will form later.

I couldn't walk really far with how heavy he was but I know that we were far enough to be out of sight , I gently placed him on a public bench in the park , looking at him from a closer angle made me realize he was quite handsome despite his visibly swollen face .

I continued to stare at him for a minute, a part of me telling me I should leave already as I saved him enough, and the other begging me to stay to make sure he was ok .

I sighed and messed with my hair in frustration seeing how no matter I tried to leave him like this it felt like a force was holding me back, if I can't leave then I should at least treat his face wounds since I could feel them as well .

I opened my backpack and took out my first aid kit , I took a deep breath as I held his chin softly wiping the dried blood before I use any treatment, my eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

'i'm doing this for me'

Even though my mind thought like this my soul knew otherwise, if it was another person I could have let Baji killed him and I wouldn't care , I wouldn't be standing here cleaning his wounds like I have known him for years .

I could feel Chifuyu stir awake and once he opened his eyes fully I was met with a push making me stumble back a little.

" What the hell?"

I looked at him with confused and irritated expression not really expecting this type of reaction, I saw how his eyes scanned me until it Landed on my Valhalla uniform and how visibly tensed he was.

" Where is Baji ?!"

" huh ?!"

I looked at him in disbelief, he must have hit his head hard to be thinking of someone else let alone the one who beat him like this when he was in this condition.

" I said where is Baji ?"

I can see how he tried to be intimidating but I couldn't help but let out a chuckle in amusement.

Chifuyu didn't know what was wrong but just hearing her chuckle made butterflies swim in his stomach.

" I think you should be caring about something else"

I touched the bruise on his cheek making him hiss in pain .

" look , I am not here to hurt you, just let me finish helping you and I will leave"

I looked at his eyes as I talked trying not to lose focus, Chifuyu knew he couldn't move after what happened not long ago and he wouldn't mind staying here .... You felt oddly comfortable to be around , his heart beating faster once he noticed the string tattoo on your arm which just looks like his , he always heard how soulmates have matching indicators and for him it was the tattoo.

" You- "

The words got stuck in his throat, seeing how close you were to his face , feeling your breathe fan at his face , the string tattoo starting to get tighter making him hiss slightly.

" just stay still, I will be quick"

The ability to talk was taken out of chifuyu, he just nodded in a dazed state , maybe because he was tired and couldn't think straight but he felt like he could stay here all day, under your gaze seeing how much you tried to look like you don't care and you hate him , but your expressions betrayed you as your eyes softened everytime chifuyu would groan in pain or jump slightly from the stinging feeling of the cotton pad brushing softly against the ugly bruise on his cheek .

Seeing how you stood just close enough to see the details of your face , the way your eyes sparkled in concentration, the way the orange sky of the sunset kissed your skin as you looked at him. He could look at you forever if he could.

And of course I didn't miss the way chifuyu looked at me , the way he blushed at the slightest touch on his skin , the way he avoided eye contact, i couldn't help but feel warm inside. It felt peaceful for once .

Once I finished treating his wounds I moved a few steps back, seeing his pretty face all covered in plasters and patches made me feel some kind of rage inside of me , not knowing exactly who I was mad at but it felt right to feel like that when you see the one the universe chose for you in this state .

I sighed and sat beside him on the bench massaging my temples as I felt a headache coming.

" If I knew I was going to meet my soulmate today I would have at least tried to look cooler and fight back "

Chifuyu mumbled loud enough making me giggle slightly as I looked at him noticing his embarrassed red cheeks.

We stayed in silence watching the last stream of light go down before exchanging places with the moon , neither of us wanted to move nor talk , just stay close like this in silence.

" i think I will be taking my leave"

I stood up only to halt when chifuyu's hand wrapped around my wrist gently making me stay still in my place , his eyes saying million words a second and yet nothing seemed to get out .

" you don't have to"

We both stared at each other , the universe made us for each other but the pathes and choices we took in life making a repulsive reaction whenever we thought of staying . It feels ridiculous to be in a situation I always laughed about, to be torn between two choices you want to chose both of them .

" we can work this together slowly... Just the two of us "

It felt like a magic spell putting me in haze , I think I know which choice I am going with this time .

I took out a small piece of paper writing something on it and placing it in chifuyu's hand , before starting to walk away.

" wait ! "

Chifuyu sighed in defeat seeing you walk away , noticing the paper in his hand he unfolded it and couldn't help but smile widely and feel his ears getting warmer reading your note .

' Here is my number.... Call me when you need to get your wounds cleaned '

Chifuyu chuckled and shook his head in amusement thinking to himself.

' I think I will need my wounds cleaned up every hour '

#tr🎴#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo manji gang #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #chifuyu imagines #chifuyu headcanons #chifuyu fluff #chifuyu #chifuyu x reader #tokyo revengers chifuyu #matsuno chifuyu #tokyo revengers oneshot #tokyo rev x reader

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fatphobiabusters · 1 month

Note

Kind of nervous to ask this but I'm curious. What would you consider to be fat? I have always had body issues around my stomach and weight generally, I am about 80kg and 5'8. People often treat me as "larger" but I wouldn't say I've been called fat to my face many times. I generally wear clothes that hide my body /are oversized because I'm transmasc and I don't want to accentuate my chest anyway. I fit into UK size 14-16 which is about a US 10-12. I usually wear mens clothes though so about a 36 x 32 in trousers. Plus size generally starts at 16 so by that metric I would be plus sized in the UK but not in the US. Its confusing, man, I'm confused.

I'm obviously anti-fatphobia either way, I just don't want to say that I'm fat if that takes away from people who are larger than me or is dishonest to the consensus view of what is considered fat. Sorry if this is a weird question, I've just seen people talking about smaller people calling themselves fat as a bad thing so I don't want to be that person.

Hi!

This isn't a weird question, don't worry. A lot of people have your exact question. Honestly, fatness is slightly subjective. So there's not exactly a definitive "You must be this tall to ride" situation. Some people go strictly by clothing size, but that isn't always a reliable answer because there are definitely short fat people who don't wear plus sizes, and there are thin people who do (which is why so many "plus size models" don't look fat. They just happen to fit the clothing despite not having a fat body type).

There's also different categories of fatness, so it's possible you're fat but considered small fat. Another factor is how there are some people who are neither thin nor fat, which is called mid-size. You sound like you may possibly be mid-sized from how you described yourself. Mid-sized people do not endure the same degree or types of discrimination necessarily as fat people, but mid-size people do still endure discrimination and some lack of thin privilege.

In high school, I was mid-size myself, and it was definitely a situation of "I'm not as hated as fat people, but I'm also clearly separate from actual thin people." And if my metric conversion is correct, I think I was about your weight and height after I had extremely starved myself to get to that point of definitely mid-sized. One factor though is that, even at my thinnest points in life, I have always had a fat face and fat limbs, so I generally looked bigger regardless of my exact weight due to the fat distribution of my body. So that being said, I can't tell you whether or not you're fat, and honestly no one on the internet really can.

I also personally believe that if you're calling yourself fat because your body is at that subjective range and you identify as fat, then that's okay. Someone who's on the edge of mid-size and fat calling themself fat in a genuine, self-identification way is way different than a thin person calling themself fat as an insult because they believe fat people are bad. And no matter what, I'm glad to have you as part of this activism movement!

-Mod Worthy

#hotcryptidsummer #ask #fat liberation #Mod Worthy

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vorpalfae · 1 month

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Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

#kh

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lostcauses-noregrets · 13 days

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Why is the answer always "Levi said this Levi did this" whenever one asks about the signs of Eruri in canon? Levi's side is pretty clear, but every time I talk to an Eruri and I ask "but why do you think Erwin loved Levi" the answer is very long but it's mostly empty and just "I am sure he did" or "but Levi loved him so Eruri is canon". Sorry this isn't a "hehehe your ship is one sided it's not canon" type of question. It's more of a writing-wise question, since you are a writer yourself I thought you'd give the best answer to this.

I am wondering, is this because of lack of Erwin's pov in aot manga or anime? I know Erwin is important and plays an important role and story revolves around him in s3 p2 and all that but when you look at the bigger picture he's mostly just there. He's in the story but you don't see his pov. We don't get to see the inside of his head until the end. Is this why "does Erwin love Levi" question is a hot topic in aot fandom always? Or are there any side stories like smartpass aus that suggest Erwin had feelings for Levi? I'm sorry I don't know those very well I only know the manga and the anime.

Lastly, I am sure you answered this before but my question is very specific, do you actually believe it was mutual? After all it's fiction and you don't need their love to be mutual to ship them. People ship characters who barely interact. It's what fandom is and that's totally normal and valid. I guess I am wondering if you ever doubted, th ship or even yourself which I do a lot (in a "oh I love this so much and I read so much fics I made myself believe" way) Thanks I hope this doesn't sound rude or offensive, my English isn't very good so if I sound rude that must be it it's not my intention :)

Ooof there’s a lot of different questions here but I think they boil down to the following:

Are Erwin and Levi’s feelings for each other mutual? / Does Erwin reciprocate Levi’s feelings?

Why do people question Erwin’s relationship to Levi?

Do I personally believe their relationship was mutual, and have ever “doubted the ship”?

I’ve answered the first question many, many times over the years. You can read all my various answers here. In short I do think that Erwin reciprocated Levi’s feelings and I think the evidence is there in the manga, the official guidebooks, the Smartpass stories, and the side content for anyone who cares to see it. I’m not going to list all the side content here, but there’s a very old post by @erbeansandravioli that links to a lot of it: Eruri receipts.

As to why people question Erwin’s relationship to Levi, well that’s an interesting one. Some people clearly just don’t get Erwin’s character (see the previous ask I just answered), they don’t understand his role in the plot or the significance of his relationship to Levi. For example I’ve seen people arguing passionately that Levi’s vow had nothing to do with Erwin, which is just mind boggling to me. It’s certainly true that Erwin is a much harder character to read than Levi who very much wears his heart on his sleeve. Erwin is more reserved, and holds his cards closer to his chest. However the fact that Levi is the only one who he reveals his true self to is significant. Daisuke Ono put it beautifully when he said in an interview that the amplitude of Erwin’s feelings is so great that it can be hard to see.

It could also be that some, perhaps younger, readers just don’t recognise their relationship for what it is. It’s certainly not a typical shounen romance, but it is a deeply believable adult relationship; one that is based on mutual trust, respect and understanding. This is from a previous ask I answered on the subject:

It frustrates me enormously when people deny their canon relationship, despite Yams being at paints to explain it repeatedly in the guidebooks. I want to shake them and ask what the hell they think a relationship looks like when you’re an exhausted 30 + year old war veteran who has spent their entire life fighting for survival. It looks like this; finding someone who you can trust with your life. If you were to ask me what characterizes a successful adult relationship I would say it’s exactly this; mutual trust, respect and understanding, and when push comes to shove, the willingness to do everything in your power to help the person you hold most dear, even if that means letting them go.

And as to whether I’ve ever doubted the ship, the answer to that would be no, never. Sure we’ve never seen them swear undying love in canon (though some would argue with that and point to Erwin’s "Arigatō Levi".) I wrote this in response to an ask about Eruri canonicity:

Do you mean that you don’t believe they’re canon because we never see them kiss? Because they never marry? Because the main focus of the story isn’t romance? All those things are true, but in my opinion, they’re also not the only things that make a relationship canon. Particularly when that relationship is between two war-weary 30 year old men who have been fighting for survival almost their entire lives. The irony is that, in some ways, Erwin and Levi’s relationship is actually quite conventional. They really do behave a bit like an old married couple. They have a long standing relationship that has matured over many years, they have their own weird sense of humour, they’re not afraid to challenge each other, but they care about one another deeply, and they also trust each other unconditionally. That’s all the canon evidence I need tbh.

Having said that, you are absolutely right that you don’t need any canon evidence to ship a couple. Hell, I’ve had great fun written Hanji and Petra as a side ship and I don’t think they ever even interacted in canon. In Erwin and Levi’s case though there is more than enough evidence in canon to attest to the significance of their relationship.

Hope this answers your questions.

#asks #eruri #eruri relationship #erwin smith #erwin meta #snk

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morganalatina21 · 1 year

Text

Teach Me

Summary: Y/n Potter is known for getting any person she ever wants, but what happens when she has to comfort the one she loves?

Hermione Granger x fem! Potter! Sly!reader

Warnings: y/n has loveable bastard energy, James and Lily alive, angsty to fluff, slightly suggestive towards the end, can lead to a part 2

Word Count: 3.1k

*****************************************

"Dad! Y/n is hitting on Ginny again!" Harry shouted, stomping into his father's office, his sister right beside him with a small smile on her face.

James sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"How am I supposed to ask her out like that?"

The man turned around to meet his kids, seeing Harry with red cheeks and teeth clenched and Y/n looking... well, looking like him.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Tell her to stop hitting on every possible girlfriend I have!" He said like it was obvious. "It's the third time already!"

It was true, last year every time Harry would even think about inviting a girl to some sort of date, she'd step in and kiss her first.

And now that Harry, with the help of his mother, realized how he actually wanted Ginny instead of Cho, there she was talking to her all flirty.

"Sounds like I'm doing something really good that you aren't." She waved, standing smug right beside him. "Step up your game, idiot."

"Dad!"

God, sometimes Y/n sounded awfully like James, that's something he probably would've said.

"Well, Harry, she isn't completely wrong." He started, seeing the shock look in his son's eyes and a victory smile on his daughter's face. "You have such a lack of confidence I don't know where you got from. Maybe fight for her a little more?"

The boy scoffed, leaving his father's office and slamming the door on his way out.

"Y/n we've been here before..." James said, making her roll her eyes. "Your brother really likes Ginny, can you make things a little easier for him?"

"I'm just giving him a little nudge." She shrugged. "They were under a tree outside and she was practically begging him to kiss her, seriously, how is he that dumb?"

"Don't talk like that about your brother." He asked.

"Oh come on! Neville was thinking about asking her to the ball." Y/n told. "He'll lose her, I'm just trying to help. Besides, Ginny knows what I'm doing. And Harry should know by now redheads aren't exactly my type.'

James rolled his eyes at that, she was the first born-Potter who didn't feel attracted to a ginger.

His father, Fleamont, was. He was, and Harry was following the same path when fell in love with the youngest Weasley.

"Fine, just... tone it down a little."

Yeah right.

"Get your own girlfriend!" Harry shouted to his sister, two days later.

"Why do that when I can wait for you to pick one and just show her I'm so much better." She answered, not bothering to look back to see the boy rushing down the stairs to reach her.

"You're already going to the Ball with George!" He argued. "Why would you suggest to take her?"

The girl only laughed.

Both Weasleys knew what she was up to, in fact her and Fred thought about it together.

"I'm gonna tell mom!"

"You should. Cause if you keep up like that, she'll be the only woman in your life." Y/n mocked, turning the corner to go to Transfiguration class, not caring about her brother shouting behind her.

When the Yule Ball finally came, a week later, he finally had managed the courage to ask the Weasley girl to be his date.

Harry had his sister to thank, but he would never admit it.

Ron, however, didn't seemed happy in the least. He haven't managed any date and had to invite the Patil, Hermione being taken already. But to see his younger sister in the arms of his best friend, and his older brother holding his girl best friend, it was bloody torture.

Y/n and George were stealing some treats from the table when the girl saw Hermione leaving the hall with her head low after discussing with the ginger boy.

"Go for her." The Weasley said.

"What do you mean?" She asked, turning to the table again, avoiding to look at the door.

"Oh come on, Y/n. We all know you have a crush on her since day one. Ginny accepted you flirting with her because she knew you wanted to get under Hermione's skin. Just go get your girl and stop hitting on your brother's girlfriends."

Y/n hesitated.

George was right, unfortunately. Since the start of first year, on Hogwarts Express, she'd been head over heels for that little know-it-all Gryffindor.

But even though she wanted to try something, her feelings for the idiotic Weasley boy were way too clear.

And worse, Y/n was a Slytherin, and her house didn't exactly gave her the best reputation.

Leaving the hall, she tried to be as nonchalant as possible, holding her dress a little, but her entire act fell upon seeing Hermione crying in the stairs, untying the small heels and throwing them to the side.

"Hey." She called, approaching the girl. She immediately started cleaning her tears, forcing a smile. "Don't worry, he's a jerk."

"What do you mean?" Hermione pretended to not know, watching her sitting right in front of her. "I don't care about what Ron says, I just wanted- nevermind, you wouldn't understand."

"Wanted to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?" She completed, making the gryffindor lift her eyes. "I understand more than you think I do."

Hermione frowned her eyebrows, not getting what she meant. She was known in all Hogwarts to always get who she wanted.

"Whatever, I'm just going to my room and try to forget all of this happened."

"Hey, no! Don't be like that." She shoved her knee lightly. "Come on, don't let a stupid boy ruin your night. I know one thing that would cheer you up, let's go!"

"But-"

"Don't think too much, come!"

She pulled Hermione with her through the hallways, the girl murmuring they'd probably be expelled.

The Potter led the well known path to the statue of the witch her father taught her it was a secret passage.

"What's that?"

"Firewhiskey!" She smiled, shaking the bottle, seeing the reprehensible look in Hermione's face. "Please, one night won't hurt, and it will take your mind off that damn redhead."

Y/n didn't meant to hate on Ron Weasley, she never did. But he had a literal goddess all over him and he'd be dumb enough to not want her.

Even with that offer, the girl shake her head no, making the Potter scoff.

"Thought you weren't a coward, Granger."

"Coward?!" She took the bottle from her hands with heat, opening it and turning swallowing three big sips.

It burned her throat, making her cough and almost throw up, wiping off the excess of her lips.

"Hey, you good?"

She lifted her head, looking at her with challenging eyes. "Who's not drinking now, Potter?"

Merlin, that was hot! They both thought, Y/n's mind focusing on Hermione and her's thinking about the beverage.

"Easy, Mione." She asked, trying to get the bottle. “Don’t wanna send you to the Hospital Wing on your first time drinking.”

The girl laughed, adrenaline started to run in her veins and she was feeling bold tonight. If bold and brave girls, such as Y/n always got what they wanted, it was her time to try, no?

But her conception of bold was a tiny bit different from the Potter’s.

“We should be doing this in a dorm, someone might catch us.”

“Not you trying to put limits even when you’re being rad.” Y/n mocked, taking a shot of the whiskey. “And I think it’s the perfect time to show you this.” She said, hearing fast footsteps coming in.

Closing the passage, she hid the bottle behind the statue, not invisible enough not to get caught if someone took even one step forward and positioned her hand on her forearm.

Professor Minerva turned the corner, looking at them intrigued.

“What are you two doing here? The Ball is taking place somewhere else.”

“Yeah but it was kinda boring, Minnie.” She answered, feeling Hermione freeze by her side. “I wanted to do something else but this killjoy right here caught me.”

The girl looked at her, eyes wide in shock, she knew it would cost her house some points, but the Potter didn’t seemed to care.

“She was taking me to the dorms anyway.”

Minerva was far from dumb, she knew the Potter reputation with girls, the same as her father's, but it seemed like her and the one she loved could finally have some time together.

“That’s truthful of you to admit your mistakes, miss Potter. Fifty points from Slytherin, and I hope you know your father will hear about this. And to you, miss Granger, fifteen points for Gryffindor for acting right. Now please, get this over with, I don’t want another scandal.” And turning around, she made her way back to the Great Hall.

“See?” The Potter asked, pulling away when Minerva was far enough and grabbing the bottle. “Don’t worry, your goody-goody reputation won’t go to hell.”

Hermione felt weird, heat from the drink and the adrenaline washing over her. Was this how power was? Feeling like you could do anything?

“Teach me.”

“Teach you... what? How to lie?”

“How to be like you.” She asked. “You’re not scared of anything, and it’s like you don’t have a care in the world. I wanna do that.”

“Well, Ms Bold For The Night, what is something you always wanted to do, but never tried for being too afraid of getting caught?”

There was so many things she could make an entire list and it would be miles long.

A couple of things fired up inside her mind, and she found herself smiling dumbly, cheeks feeling numb and face blushing.

“Oh god, this is so scary.” She mumbled, face buried on Y/n’s back as they raised from the ground on a broom.

“Don’t chicken out now!” The girl warned, getting them higher and higher.

Hermione was already regretting her decision, her stomach twirling on itself as they flew up to the Astronomy tower, where she always wanted to be by midnight, to watch the starts and the moon.

Her hands were around Y/n’s waist, one holding the bottle of whiskey so strongly her knuckles became white.

The wind brushed against her skin and she got goosebumps, the heat of her body colliding with the cold air. The Potter was clearly laughing at how frightened Hermione looked, as if she could ever let her fall off.

“We’re almost there!” She announced, loud enough for the girl to hear, but not to someone inside the castle notice the voice. Instead of landing on the inside of the tower, she decided to stand on the roof of it, even further from the grass.

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“They always check the Astronomy Tower, everyone comes here after curfew sooner or later.” She shrugged, sitting down. “Besides, it’s even better to look at the stars from here.”

The Granger looked up, seeing how close the waning moon looked, how bright it was. Before she even noticed, she also sat down really close to the girl, still looking at that big black sky.

Never, on the muggle world, could she get a sight like that.

That’s why she was so grateful for being a wizard, and she thanked the universe by learning everything there was to learn about that world.

“It’s so beautiful.”

“Yes, it is.” Y/n answered, but when Hermione turned to look at her, she quickly blinked stared at the moon. “Want some? It’s better not to get cold.”

The gryffindor felt her cheeks burning even before drinking, but she gulped down two more shots to have the courage to finally voice a question in the back of her mind.

“Why you never flirted with me?”

The Potter froze upon those words, holding the bottle tight against her palm.

“I- uh-” She gagged, blinking so many times and avoiding eye contact by closing her eyes. Fuck it, she thought. “I only flirt for fun, like they’re attractive or kinda cool or something. I won’t flirt with someone I have feelings for.”

“That doesn’t add up, you flirt with George a lot.” Hermione snapped back, taking off some pins on her hair.

“I don’t have feelings for George.” Y/n answered immediately. “He’s only my date to the Yule Ball because... well, everyone who’s interesting were taken and we didn’t wanted to spend an entire night with some fans we can’t escape or some shit.”

She turned the bottle upside down inside her mouth, swallowing so many times she lost count, her throat burning and eyes watering.

“Wait, so, who is it you have feelings for but won’t flirt with?”

“Are you kidding me? It’s you, Granger.”

Hermione blinked, feeling a little tipsy already.

“I never did because I knew from day one you liked that motherfucker Weasley, so, what’s the point?” She shrugged, facing the moon and drinking one more time, putting on her best show of not caring.

Under the moonlight, Hermione looked at her, eyes shining more than usual, her body framed perfectly by the black dress with a slit on the left side where she could peek to see a little of her thigh.

That didn’t made sense inside her mind, a girl as pretty as her? Having feelings for a know-it-all everyone made fun of?

“It doesn’t matter.” Y/n sighed, interpreting her silence as a bad signal. “Let’s just go back and-”

“You said you’d help me.” She interrupted, slurring her words. “There’s also one thing I always wanted to do, but have always been too scared of.”

“What is it? Take a swim at the Black Lake?”

“No, we can do that later.” She answered, with a smile. “I always wanted to kiss you.”

“Really?”

As soon as she nodded, Y/n’s heart race increased so fast she thought it would come out of her chest. Hermione’s face was red and with a large smile on her face as she leaned in.

There, with only the stars and the moon as witnesses, they finally kissed.

After four years of misinterpreted feelings and suppressing emotions and trying to be interested in literally anyone else, they finally came together.

Tongues burning with the drink and dresses mendling on each other, bodies close together for the warmth they gave out.

Pulling apart after a while, Y/n dropped her head in the girl’s neck, wanting to make sure she was actually there, that she wasn’t dreaming once again. The smell of her perfume made her head spin and she nuzzled closer, feeling her chuckle.

“What ya laughing at?”

“I’m just so happy.” Hermione answered, lifting her hand to caress the girl’s hair. “But we have to get back soon, it’s really cold out here.”

Y/n smiled wickedly at that, pulling her head up, and it gave Granger the chills. Not only because she looked pretty, but she also looked like she just got an idea, and it was terrifying.

And she was right.

Their ride on the broom was so much faster this time, because they just got down from the roof to the inside of the tower, leaving the object on the side and taking her hand.

They’d have to go all the way to the Gryffindor’s tower by walking, risking getting caught while at it and the only thing she said when Hermione tried to argue was “live a little.”

“Come on, where’s Ms. Bold For The Night?” She asked out loud when the girl took of her shoes and was walking in the tip of her toes, getting a “shhh” as an answer.

They started walking and it was like every corner she’d hide behind Y/n, waiting for a monster to show up, or worse, a teacher.

When they heard the loud steps from Filch, Hermione’s breath hitched on her throat, but the Potter was quick to open up a door to a random closet and pull her inside.

It was the same size as a broom closet, however mostly cleaning objects, and they could only see each other by the pale moonlight entering through the window.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” Granger whispered, trying to disappear by shrinking. When Y/n told her to focus on literally anything else, her eyes darted to her again, and what she was wearing. “That really is an awesome dress.”

“You can try it on.” She suggested, a smug smile appearing on her lips. “But only if I can try yours on and you help me take it off.”

“There’s a spell for that! Let me see...” She started, pulling her wand and Y/n had to bite her lip to not laugh out loud.

“Hermione.”

“Yes?” Only then she noticed her smile and her tongue licking her lips lightly, eyebrows arched.

The girl thanked they couldn’t see each other well, because she was blushing like hell, but she had a feeling Y/n could guess what was happening, because her flirty smile turned into a genuine chuckle.

Hermione cleared her throat as low as possible. “Oh, would you teach me that too?”

“I’ll teach you anything you want, princess.”

“Then yes, I’d like to try on your dress.” She dared, gulping down her fear and shyness.

Y/n pulled her even closer, one hand in her waist and the other on her cheek.

“I know Minnie said she couldn’t handle another scandalous news on Hogwarts, but I think she’ll have to get used to the fact a Slytherin and a Gryffindor are sleeping together.” Y/n told, tracing kisses down Hermione’s neck.

The girl felt like melted butter on her hands, knees shaking and ready to give up and just ler herself be mold by the Potter.

She forced her body between the slytherin’s legs, feeling her smile mid-kiss by her sudden audacity.

“I know we can’t sleep in each other’s dorms but I wish we could.”

“Well, technically...”

A few moments later, Hermione rushed into the Gryffindor’s common room, finding Harry, Fred, George and Simas sitting there.

“Harry, I need the cloak!” She asked, looking flustered and out of breath, the boy just indicated the stairs to the dorm with a confused look and she ran past him. “Thank you!”

“Wait, why are you wearing my sister’s dress?” He asked when she came downstairs, fabric in her hands and a small smile on her face.

“It’s the end of a Ball, you stupid thing.” Y/n answered, coming through the passage and looking at him, Hermione's dress framing her body. “The real question is, why isn’t your date wearing your clothes? Now, thank you for the cloak but I feel like we still might have to stop by some broom closets on the way to, you know, hide.”

Hermione passed the boys, her mouth hung open in a smile, she knew what that actually meant, as excited as ever, and vanished through the passage with the Potter girl right by her.

“Harry, piece of advice.” George called, standing up. “Don’t look at the map tonight.”

“Unless you wanna know how fast your sister can make Hermione cum.” Fred finished, making Harry’s chin fall.

Well, at least, now she wouldn’t be going after his girlfriend.

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Part Two

#hermione granger x reader #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #hermione fic #hermione granger #hermione x you #hogwarts

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drdemonprince · 5 months

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if you ever have the time and space to answer this i'd be very thankful

how can i take any let downs by friends less personal and continue giving people chances/inviting them in and being vulnerable without hurting myself/gettung hurt in the process? i'm guessing the answer is to find a balance, but are there ways to go about it easier? no matter how much i try to communicate and and manage expectations... i appreciate my friends greatly, but still i often feel let down when they cant come to things that are important to me though i understand that things can happen and theres usually reasons for not being able to make something and i am not their priority number one in a system that exhausts all of us- it just keeps happening and i don't want to grow bitter and alone but cherish the people in my life and trust they are trying their best

I think you can start by practicing being more flaky and unreliable and more reliant up on your friends' grace as well! When we feel resentful, it is often a sign that we are doing far too much, and not having our needs cared for. I used to be one of the most reliable mother fuckers around -- it was my senior superlative, actually, Most Reliable! ha! -- and I resented just about everyone for being less put together, less likely to follow through, less prone to doing what they said and saying what they'd do than me. I was a bitter little Type A overachieving cunt who considered myself superior to everyone (in part because my hyper literal Autistic ass believed that if you said you were going to do something, that meant you absolutely Had to Do It and Why Would Anybody Lie about a thing like that?)

Today I am a fuckin MESS and I am a much better person for it. I amble up just barely on time, I cancel plans, I forget things, I tell someone I can't make it even if in the most literal sense I could but I don't feel like it -- and many of my friends are tired, spent, fuzzy brained exhausted messes too! And it's fine! I have some friends that I regularly rely upon to cancel our plans because it frees up a little extra room in my schedule that I always wind up needing. I'm not mad or disappointed in them for bailing, my ass is relieved because I definitely have some shit to get to myself and probably four other people that I'm kinda letting down at the moment. It's not that any of us lack concern for one another, that's just what being a busy adult is in this day and age. We have work and creative pursuits and lots of friends and fucking and exercise and tile to regrout. Shit happens. It's not a big deal if I end up needing to see the movie solo or if we need to reschedule our breakfast date. Shit happens. I have too many actual problems to make a problem out of someone having a hangover and not being able to show up to my birthday or whatever. I missed their birthday last year, but I'll make it there this year, and maybe next time they'll make mine, too. The grace of accepting chaos washes it all away. My friends are my fellow comrades in the fuckin trenches and we each get to make one another's tours a little less miserable by understanding shit's crazy and fucked and that none of it is personal and that at the end, we still love eachother and are doing our best.

With time, may you find that kind of serenity and that ability to just keep on moving in life rather than fixating on the little slights and unpredictable things that will happen whether we fight them or not. Don't read too much into anyone's cancellation of plans or lateness or flakiness. Put your mind toward more interesting problems in your life, ones that some thinking can help solve. Easier said than done, but you'll get there. If my bitter anal retentive ass could become so sloppy and lovingly blase so can you!

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eulchu · 1 year

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ok guys. let's have a real talk. let's ALL have a real talk and i don't mean just me and my anons . i hope this reaches all of our community even if you think i fucking suck.

fucking october didn't ruin us but i am so worried that this dumb tension just might. this is getting so ridiculous and out of hand -i barely understand what's going on myself. so im gonna need everyone to work together and do a collective reflection exercise.

i am gonna write out a series of points that i need u guys to think about before proceeding in this community:

- active blogs. you're burnt out. you're burnt out and you're so tired of trying to keep this community running that you're denying yourself a moment to feel your own frustrations as your own individual person. i get that . i get being under so much pressure that you can't catch yourself some slack, least you spiral out of control <- this is, however, really damn unhealthy 😭 it's ok to let yourself feel some disappointment!! some anger!! that's fine. it's up to you, however, what you do with it. this brings us to our next point.

- we NEED to acknowledge this if we wanna get better. ifl it's taboo and we're pushing the narrative so hard we're not giving ourselves enough space to breathe. it. is. okay. to. feel. disappointed. over. the. lack. of. dteam. content. i am the first person to shut down any self entilted prick who thinks they can expect something out of them. because they DON'T owe us anything. but truth is we are humans and, accordingly so, feel in consequence of our own expectations. i wanna break this part down in a few points:

it is OKAY to acknowledge that we are disappointed. denying one self's feelings never ended up ok for anyone. it is okay to acknowledge that we are not getting the content we were hoping for.

it is NOT okay to blame the dteam for it. this is where it gets tricky. the dteam are in charge of what type of content they put out. it will never be in our hands. at that point, if you don't like what they're doing. leave. i'm sorry. it's harsh. i'm not trying to be mean about it. i'd understand if you left! it's ok!

- before you leave, though, i want to ask you a question. why do dislike what they're doing so much? seriously, ask yourself that question. is the content that bad, in your eyes? if the answer is yes, i can't help you there. you've grown out of their content. there's no way around it.

- but is it actually bad, or is it just Not What You Expected? In which case, let's talk. Let's put things bluntly:

the dteam have waited years to be together. correct

upon living together, we have discovered that they are not very good at providing content because they put their friendship above content. i'm not sure if anyone had that in their bingo cards - but it's what happened. autumn was really rough on them & they've learnt to exist together off camera. me personally, i think it's sweet.

dteam and traveling: a fall out? :o . no. jesus christ 😭 the fact that this is the new narrative nauseates me. i don't think anyone in their right mind thinks that dteam are less close than they were when they were living apart.

Bringing back our initial point, the failure to meet our expectations can be mentally challenging. it will inevitably make us second guess a lot of associated ideas that we thought were true . if one of our expectations fails to be met, that's a fail in our mental plan. if we were wrong about this, who's to say we are right about anything else?

i'm not sure if there's some sort of denial of feelings here or if people are trying really hard not to think about this possibility because it makes them scared. i am inviting you to take a moment to really think about it and feel the initial dread of the question. it will pass fairly quickly.

the truth is that the dteam is FINE. they're fine, they share a house, they film videos together, and they go on these long ass hiatus when they're together because they would much rather spend uncesored time off-line.

my favorite point: for how parasocial we are, we don't give them nearly enough credit. the dteam are adult men. we have to put faith in their decisions. only they know what they're doing. they know what's best for them. we certainly don't.

- i wanna rescue this last point. their decisions are THEIRS. if we don't put trust in what they're doing, we're already failing the game. that means who they hang out with too. i get not liking someone ok? i get it. i don't like a lot of people either. no one is pointing a gun to any of their heads. if you think that any of them is doing something that you don't see fit you have problems and you need to grow up. it is not our place to dictate their lives and it will never be. that goes for the white-knighting too.

⚠️(this is a completely hypothetical scenario)⚠️

the truth is if tomorrow george decides to go back to the uk, for whatever reason. we would all have to fucking shut it. fan disappointment? yes. acting like george is an awful person for betraying his best friends? you're out of your fucking mind.

dream george and sapnap are grown up people with a strong friendship and communication skills. if you think that george would take the unilateral decision and not tell anyone until the day before you need to seek help. whatever decision the dteam take about their lives it's THEIRS and you need to put some fawking faith in what they're doing. they know what's up.

that goes for the fucking karl problem too okay? i don't like it either. whatever. it's not my place though?? dream isn't a baby who's been abandoned he's a grown ass man who knows what he's doing and if he still considers (if they ALL do) karl his friend that's his decision. if he thinks that karl's friendship management is fine that's his decision. we are not dream's friends nor his fucking therapist.

- the thing about dooming and content. the multishippers: is the dteam all there really is? i firmly believe that we all kove the dteam outside of each other. (mostly tackled in this post)

- dnf and the fandom. jesus christ i can't believe i have to make a point about this. i think it's important to remember that at the end of the day. it's just Not That Serious. it was never meant to be that serious. bringing back the "they're their own people" point, what the Fuck do some people think they're doing 🧍‍♂️

dnf know what they're doing they know the nature of their relationship better than we ever will. if they're just friends it's because they chose to if they . in the biggest plot of the century . come out of this with a s/o it doesn't mean they're cheating on each other, that dream/george was leading anyone on or that they're hurting each other???? are you CRAZY 😭 if they're dating they're dating if they're not they're fucking not but they're. not gonna be sad about it??? they're adult people in an adult relationship they know what tf they're doing. they hold each other's hearts impossibility close to themselves. there's nothing they would ever do that could hurt each other.

to wrap things up: after this reddit worthy post (congrats if you've made it to the end) i have something very important to ask of you guys.

i know it might be unfair but can we all compromise on detoxxing. completely. for like, a week. not posting neg at ALL. we can't enable doomers we can't enable bait anons. neg is only good for one thing: make anxious people paranoid as fuck.

so can we. for like a week. just not post anything /neg at all. can we block the worst of it. the unnecessary dooming. and not acknowledge at ALL. i get it's a huge mental toll on the active blogs - reading so much negativity SUCKS but i do believe that it's a better option than responding and enabling more people to send similar asks.

me personally, i am already saying it here: any dooming will get blocked in my askbox. i won't hate you for it. but this IS a warning that you need to get your shit together if you ever wanna have a chance at speaking in my askbox ever again.

um congrats if you read everything?😭 PLEAAAASE let's all make this place a better place again i know we can do it

U CAN ADD TO THIS POST IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BTW !!!

#long post #rbs are appreciated 😭🫶

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megistusdiary · 2 years

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I’m not sure if you’ve written for Xiao yet… but I’m always curious of how people interpret his.. libido to say the least, considering he’s an adeptus and doesn’t feel emotion the same way humans do.

Maybe a shy Xiao were he’s not really sure HOW to ask reader to sleep with him so he tries to give “subtle” hint but they really aren’t as subtle as he thinks.

BTW I love your writing ahhhh

(Can I claim an emoji.. idk how that works tbh I never leave asks so if I can… could I be like, 🥀 anon?? Thanks!!! 💜)

hi there! of course you can be 🥀 anon, welcome to my page :D i'm also very happy you like my writing ♡♡♡ tysm for reading

also i have actually only written two pieces for xiao which are as follows:

1) jealous dom xiao

2) consensual somno with dom xiao

i like to think that xiao doesn't know much about sex except that when done between a male and female, you can create another human sometimes

he doesn't really understand the love-making part of intercourse, so i have an idea of who he would try to ask lol

honestly this has a lot of plot. i have been writing so much these past few days, phew! when i have the time, i am a writing machine haha

warnings: switch!xiao and switch!fem anatomy/pronouns reader

nervous xiao, handjob (xiao receiving), lots of touching/making out lol, first-time sex for both of you :) , lube, fingering/penetration (reader receiving), soft ♡, kissing, baizhu is here but just as a side character because i ♡ him

the leather-bound book sat heavy on your desk in xiao's memory, unable to remove itself from his thoughts.

slightly worn around the edges and held closely to your face while you read it, lips thoroughly bitten. you seemed to think you were so sly when you hid that book behind you whenever he mentioned it.

so it was unusual that he had found it on your desk, for once unguarded by your form. xiao innocently opened the unlabeled cover to see what you had been reading so intently this week.

barely a few sentences in to the page, he immediately realized this was some type of erotic book. he was unfamiliar with some of these terms, purely from a lack of knowledge of human intimacies.

when he finally reached the end of the page, he snapped out of his trance, slamming the book shut with so much force it scattered the pages of your report to the floor.

never had the yaksha been more thoroughly embarrassed, cheeks stained red as he clutched his head.

he knew humans were odd, but he had never seen such a crude book. he never pegged you for the type to be interested in such things. how could one want to read about the act of producing a child?

odd.

perhaps that's how xiao ended up seeking out a personal consultation with the popular pharmacist from bubu pharmacy.

as uncomfortable as it was, the doctor was happy to make his acquaintance, keeping an even-toned expression when he welcomed the yaksha in after hours.

"i understand these concepts might be unfamiliar to you, though i mean no disrespect. these types of things are different from public displays of affection, and they aren't so easily written in literature."

xiao begged to differ based upon that book you left out so haphazardly on your desk for anyone to see.

he allowed the doctor to explain things in the most scientific way possible, trying to remain calm and collected until the yaksha suddenly held up a hand to stop him.

"i...appreciate your effort, but i already understand the act of procreation. i just don't..comprehend why humans seem to enjoy it so much."

baizhu paused, determining the best way to answer the question before he finally understood why xiao really wanted to see him. "i see. you're asking about why lovers like it so much." baizhu barely stifled a chuckle. "to be honest, it's been a while since i have done that myself, but it isn't so much about the act itself."

"how so?"

"it's about being vulnerable with someone. allowing them to see all of you while you see all of them. it's hard to let ourselves be open with everyone, especially if we have a particularly traumatic past. it can lead to becoming guarded." xiao frowned at this. "but, when you're with someone special, a normally uncomfortable situation becomes tender. intercourse becomes love-making." baizhu scratched the back of his neck, wondering if any of this was even sticking. "ah, i'm sorry if-"

xiao abruptly stood, silencing the doctor. "no need to apologize. i understand now. thank you for your time, doctor."

"oh, before you go-" baizhu stood up slower than xiao, reaching behind the counter to collect a small brown bag. "it might not be my place, but i always see mr. zhongli from the wangsheng funeral parlor here collecting peculiarly strong medicine for someone in liyue. it might be presumptuous of me, but, here." he held the bag out towards xiao. "it'll save mr. zhongli a trip here."

xiao gingerly took the bag, holding it in one palm before practically vanishing before baizhu's eyes. the pharmacist smiled to himself, shaking his head before locking up the pharmacy doors and heading home.

it had been a few days since then, and after continuous thinking, he finally decided it was the right time to ask you to do this with him.

you seemed to thoroughly enjoy that book, so surely, it would be even better to experience the real thing, no?

although, xiao had no idea how to bring this to your attention without sounding crude. why was he so nervous about something so simple? he was a yaksha. why were trivial human matters frightening to him?

when you finally came home that evening, you were surprised to see xiao waiting for you, standing in the doorway at attention, watching you almost drop your bag.

"oh, xiao-" you held a hand over your heart, laughing to yourself. "you scared me a little there."

you walked past him, opting to unpack your bag as xiao focused his steel gaze upon your form. "i don't know if you're hungry or not, but i brought your favorite." you turned, holding the container of almond tofu with a big grin.

you expected to see the usual hint of a smile on his own lips, though he seemed to remain neutral as you frowned slightly. "hey, is something wrong?" you started to feel concerned, worried you had upset the yaksha.

xiao clenched his fists as he huffed. "it's nothing. i appreciate the gesture."

you deflated a bit, causing xiao to feel that slight burn in his chest. guilt, he assumed. "alright, sure. i'll leave it here for you." you set the container back on the counter, rubbing your eyes as you put the rest of your things away.

xiao could take it no longer, wishing desperately to get this idea out of his head. "i read your book." he softly blurted out as you slowly turned towards him on your heels.

"what book-"

"the book."

"oh..." you fell silent, face feeling hot as you coughed. "well, i am, uh, sorry for traumatizing you with that, so...yeah." you averted your eyes, screaming at yourself inside your head. how could you forget to put that book back under your pillow? xiao was definitely going to disappear forever now. well done.

"do you want to try...that."

your eyes practically popped out from your skull, covering your mouth. "try what now?"

"intercourse. with- me."

xiao's face was as red as a tomato as you stared at him shocked. "i knew this was a foolish idea, i apologize for offending you. this is an insult to-"

"no!" you yelled out, moving your hands to his shoulders. "no, no, no you're misunderstanding!" you shook your head. "xiao, do you really mean it? you'd try it? with me?"

xiao nodded once, surprised by your overdramatic reaction. was it really as good as baizhu explained it to be?

he also wondered if his karmic debt would weigh too heavily on you for a moment before you gasped, shaking his shoulders with your excited gestures.

"oh, xiao, i...i wanted to ask you for a really long time. i just- i thought you'd never want to. and i never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable." you explained as xiao finally understood.

so you did want to create a child with him? to be honest, he wasn't quite sure if it was even possible, though he had heard stories of half adeptus children in liyue, namely that very popular lawyer woman.

"i'm willing to try." xiao nodded. he allowed you to excitedly lead him to the bedroom, stumbling over your own feet as you pulled him to the bed.

"there's really no need to be nervous." you told him sweetly, cradling his face between your palms as he willed himself to relax.

you were correct, and he hated to admit that a human was more wise than him.

you slowly leaned forward. "is this okay?" you questioned, noses nearly touching as he nodded, staying still and allowing you to approach him. you carefully pressed your lips to his, rubbing your thumbs across his cheekbones as you smiled into his mouth.

xiao's eyes fluttered shut as he allowed you to guide him, keeping his hands at his sides, awkwardly clutching at the blankets. you gently pulled away, feeling him lean forward to chase your lips before catching himself and opening his eyes.

you reached towards his hands now, holding them gently and placing them on your waist as you climbed into his lap. "there, that's better." you commented, kissing him deeper, swiping your tongue across the seam of his lips.

shockingly, xiao seemed to understand this gesture, parting his lips and allowing you to slide your tongue into his mouth. he seemed to find this sensation odd, gripping your hips a little tighter when you shifted against him.

he felt warm when you moved over his hips, pressing your weight down onto him as he groaned, feeling the strange sensations.

you smirked, grinding down against him as he leaned away, panting with spit-slicked lips as you held onto his shoulders tighter. "does that feel good?" you asked as his eyes closed once more, eyebrows furrowing. you giggled a little before stopping, hips growing tired before you suddenly let out a soft moan when xiao started moving your hips for you.

it was easy to forget his inhuman strength when he looked so soft. his grip was tight as he moved you at his leisure, inexperienced yet curious.

"have you- done this before?" you asked him, feeling warmth building in your core as xiao shook his head.

"never." he answered before pulling you against him once more, trembling a bit. "have you?" from the way you spoke and read it so freely, he was shocked to see you shyly shake your head.

"no...i was waiting for the right person." you admitted sheepishly. "i wanted it to be special." you smiled up at him, kissing his cheek.

xiao realized you were talking about him, making it feel like he had crystalflies in his stomach.

"here, i want to try something." you moved off his lap, opting to tug at the waistband of his pants. "we both take off some clothes so it isn't as awkward, okay?"

xiao was perplexed when he watched you shyly pull of your jacket. "i assumed it was normal to strip during this act. is it not natural?"

"huh?"

"being nude. why would you be uncomfortable with the idea?"

you paused, mouth opening and closing as you tried to think of an excuse. in that time, xiao took it upon himself to fully strip. "i have no shame in this form. i took it many years ago in honor of my savior. it is something of pride and loyalty. your form is to be respected." xiao reminded you as your eyes widened.

"well...okay." you took a deep breath, removing the rest of your clothing to match xiao as he carefully folded the fabric, placing it on the chair near the bed. "come here." you gestured as he moved towards you. "lean against the headboard."

xiao did as you commanded, feeling your gaze burn against his skin when you trailed your eyes down his body. you stopped just above his groin, feeling embarrassed as you leaned forward.

"oh! i almost forgot, i actually had something, well uh...just in case." you laughed nervously, reaching over to your nightstand, pulling out a small bottle of liquid.

"what is that?"

"it's supposed to make it easier by making your skin more slippery." you explained, uncapping the bottle to pour some on your fingers. "it'll feel much better with this. or so i've heard."

"from who?"

"...sources."

you ignored xiao's huff, carefully tracing a finger along his shaft as his hips jumped. "sensitive." you smiled, feeling his thighs go tense as you swirled your finger around the tip, playing with the slit as his cock slowly grew harder, leaning up against his stomach.

you moved your hand around him, carefully stroking in a gentle motion as he let out a groan from the slick sounds of your hand on his skin. "it...feels good, but strange-" xiao's hands clenched on the sheets as you moved your hand up and down, using the other hand to play with his heavy balls as he gasped.

as expected, he didn't last long, reaching his first orgasm quickly, coming all over your hand and his stomach, feeling sticky on your fingers as you gently eased him through his orgasm. he relaxed against the headboard, watching as you smiled to yourself.

the expression slowly faded when you realized he was still hard...?

"what- xiao, that's...weird? that's not supposed to happen."

xiao looked perplexed. "i thought humans are capable of enduring multiple orgasms."

"i mean, yeah, with breaks- they don't just keep going-" xiao cut you off by pulling you towards him, pressing your body to his.

"what do i do to return this favor?"

"well, i guess the equivalent would be fingering me? i'm not really sure about that though because-!" xiao reached his hand down to press against your wet cunt, feeling your hips jump against his touch. "xiao, hold on, i'm sensitive-"

he pressed his free hand against your fingers, collecting the leftover lube to press against your cunt, rolling his fingers over the skin messily. "xiao, there's a specific way to do it." your cheeks burned. "i'll show you." with one hand, you gripped his shoulder, the other reaching down to wrap around his wrist, feeling around for your clit until you positioned his finger pads just right.

"oh- there." you sighed, moving his fingers in circles as you moved your hips to match the motion.

"is this...adequate?"

"very," you laughed breathlessly. "but, i need you to do something else for me too."

"anything."

"before we try to put your...you know in me, i need to be, how should i say this, stretched out? they say it really hurts the first time...and i guess i'm just a little nervous because-"

"i promise i won't let anything hurt you." you were taken aback by xiao's sudden oath, looking deep into your eyes as your lips parted. "tell me what i need to do."

you carefully moved his hand down towards your hole, allowing him to feel for himself. "here?" he asked.

"yeah, just press in but be gentle, please." you whimpered as he dipped the tip of his index finger in, gently pushing as you shifted uncomfortably. "feels weird."

xiao stayed silent, eyebrows furrowed by the strange texture around his finger. it was tight, yet soft, wet, and warm as you sucked the digit in. he stuck another next to it, feeling you grip his shoulder tightly, hand falling from his wrist as you dug your nails into his bicep. "archons-"

he continued to push the digits in and out, sometimes moving his fingers a bit. he recalled baizhu explaining some of this. he called it 'fingering' or something along the lines. a fitting name indeed.

eventually you stopped him, gesturing for him to remove his fingers as he frowned. "is something wrong?"

"no, no, i just- i think i'm ready." you took a deep breath as he nodded.

he positioned his tip at your entrance, watching you worry your lip between your teeth as you felt it slowly enter you, tensing your body as he hissed.

"don't do that-" he groaned, grabbing your hips. "relax your muscles, it's too...tight."

you tried to relax, eyes tearing up slightly. it was not as excruciating as you expected, though the stretch did burn, and once you finally got through the hard part, xiao paused.

he allowed you to lean on him, taking shallow breaths as he smoothed a hand down your back. baizhu told him to be patient. he explained you would need time to adjust, that it could be painful taking something in your body this way.

xiao was glad he listened, finally feeling your heartbeat slow as he gently soothed you, albeit stiffly.

"are you okay?" he asked, feeling you nod against his shoulder. he carefully moved his hips experimentally, feeling you clutch your arms around his neck for stability, still pressed to his chest as he hummed, picking up the pace gradually.

you allowed him to buck into you at different angles, feeling him shiver as you kissed at his neck, humming into his skin.

"ah-" you suddenly arched when he hit your g-spot unexpectedly, eyes closing as xiao looked concerned. "that was- good, that was a good spot and-"

he pressed into it again, maintaining the angle of his hips as you trembled. "no, no, i'm gonna come if you keep doing that, xiao." you panicked, though he paid no mind, hearing going static as he continued to fuck up into you. "xiao-" you whined as he held you close to him.

he felt your soft breaths on his skin, hair tickling his neck as you suddenly jolted. "oh- i'm close, i'm really close, xiao, xiao-" you moaned lowly, desperately holding back.

"why are you afraid to experience orgasm?" xiao asked, breaking you from your stupor.

"huh?"

"why?"

"you...i need to keep up with you, xiao. if i- fuck, if i come now...you won't get to and i-"

"i don't mind." xiao admitted, focusing on the feeling of you squeezing around him. "i wanted to know what this was like. i didn't understand why humans were so fond of such things."

he reached down with a hand, sliding it down your stomach to press into your clit as you gasped. how did he remember where-

right. yaksha.

he had you trembling against him, orgasm washing over you as you went slack, leaning onto him and crying out his name as he shuddered, leaning back as you continued to squeeze him oh so tightly.

you felt blissed out as you slowly regained your senses, vision coming back to you as you smiled up at him.

your body still felt tingly, limbs numb as he slowly slid out of you. xiao could tell you were out of it, eyes hazy as he leaned down to kiss your head tenderly.

perhaps human intimacies weren't all completely useless.

#🥀─ 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯 ˚ૢ⋆˚#genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #xiao smut #xiao #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #switch xiao #💌─𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭! ༊*·˚#✎─𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 ❛ ༉‧₊˚

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disturbedbeautywrites · 1 year

Text

Second Time is Not the Charm - Bradley Rooster Bradshaw

"I think we should see other people." You could still perfectly remember the night that Bradley said those words to you, your heart absolutely shattering. You were too stunned to speak, not knowing where the last perfect year had gone.

You were almost sure the two of you would get married and have kids one day. Both of you were in the Navy and were stationed at the same naval base; which had to count for something, right? Or so you thought. But, as you stood in front of Bradley in his living room, you realized that didn't mean anything at all.

You felt your heart completely shatter and hit the floor as you prayed and prayed he would take it back. But, he kept his composure and just shot a look of pity at you. How could he be so okay with all of this? How could he not be hurting at all?

After standing there for what felt like an eternity, silence engulfing the two of you, you decided to leave his apartment. You picked up your broken heart and left, walking out to your car. The ride back to where you lived was dead silent as you let your thoughts fill the space the lack of music left. How could he do this?

The next few months were absolutely hell. Having to work with your ex boyfriend was definitely not something you would recommend to anyone, especially if you were still in love with them. Each and every day you got to see his stupid head in front of you and you got to hear his stupid comments to things that Hangman said. It was torture. It was absolutely torture.

"Come on, you just gotta get out there again." You sat next to Phoenix at the hard deck, two shots of tequila lined up in front of you as you quickly downed them. You heard her words and just shook your head, laying your forehead in your hands. "He was it, Phe. I saw my entire future with him down to the dog that we would own. Now I'll never get to meet Apache." Your voice was a small whimper as she put a hand on your back, rubbing it soothingly.

She looked at you for a second before she reached down and took your phone, downloading tinder and setting your profile up. She was playing on your phone for a few minutes before she handed it back to you. "There, now you're back out in the dating pool."

You had vowed to kill Phoenix then and there, and now as you sat on a date, the urge was even bigger. You were a navy pilot and you were used to action and adrenaline, so when you were listening to a guy talk about the excitement of accounting, you almost wanted to fake food poisoning to get out of it. Or, maybe you could convince Phoenix to pretend to have a family emergency to get you away.

But, as you typed SOS messages to several people in your phone, not a single person answered. You let out a frustrated sigh before finally having enough. "I'm sorry, I really am. But, this isn't going well." You laid down money for your part of the bill before you excused yourself outside, a small sigh leaving your lips. You felt awful, but you could not put up with that anymore.

As you sat on the sidewalk, you realized you had no way home. You had sent out text messages wanting someone to call and had recieved no answer from your usual friends; which left one person, Bradley. Your thumb hovered over his name as you swallowed thickly, your head hitting the brick wall behind you. This could not be happening. You pressed the dial button before you could change your mind, the tone playing as it went through.

"Hello?" You heard Bradley's gruff voice come through your phone, sleep lacing his words as you heard him shuffling around in bed. You squeaked out a greeting as you played with the strings on your dress, wishing you could disappear in this moment. "I need to ask a major favor." Your voice felt small and mouselike as you felt the anxiety building and building in your stomach.

You heard him hum and then there was silence on the other end of the line, his way of urging you to continue. It had been months since you had talked to him for this long, your conversations were few and far between. You tried to only talk to him if it was completely necessary when you were in the air. Otherwise, it was radio silence between the two of you. “I know we’re not together anymore but I’m on a date that went really wrong. Can you come get me?” Your words were rushed and shaky as you finally got them out, a shiver running up your spine.

You heard him take in a sharp breath before he finally agreed to come get you, the two of you hanging up. You sank down against the wall and pulled your knees up under you to keep you warm, your hands rubbing up and down your shins. You stayed in that position until the bronco pulled up, a very disheveled Bradley sitting in the front seat. You got inside, closing the door behind you as you buckled yourself in.

The two of you drove in silence before Bradley spoke up, his voice deep and curious as his brown eyes landed on you. "So, you're dating again?" You groaned at his question, leaning your head against the window. "Can we please skip this awkward bs? We both know you don't care." Your words came out more as a snap then you intended, your eyes narrowing at him as he held his hands up in surrender before he put them back on the wheel. "Just trying to make conversation, sorry."

He turned the radio on for a few brief seconds before he turned it off again, his gaze falling on you once more. "I actually miss you, you know." His words caused your mouth to go dry as you looked back at him, wanting to see if he actually meant it. He didn't show any sign of not meaning it as you searched his face desperately. "I miss you too, roo." Your voice was soft as you watched your house come into view, deciding to throw one last hail mary out into the universe to see if he regretted what he said.

"If you want us to try again, I need to hear you say it." You looked at Bradley, his eyes clearly showing the gears turning in his head. He thought about speaking up, but ultimately he kept silent. Regret was evident in his features and you couldn't help the silent laugh that left your lips. He was absolutely unbelievable. You just nodded your head at him once, getting out of the bronco. "Guess not. See you around, Bradley." With that you walked back into your apartment, making a mental note to talk to cyclone about a relocation.

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aspd-culture · 6 months

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Hi I'm new here so sorry if this has already been answered, people with aspd are often referred to as callous and cold but the rate of anxiety and depression with them is quite high thanks to it being a trauma disorder, so how do the two things coexist? Shouldn't they be mutually exclusive?

Firstly welcome!/pos

So unfortunately, the public's perception of ASPD has gotten very mixed with the understanding of the actual symptoms of ASPD. Callous and cold are certainly personality traits that are more likely to appear in pwASPD, but that is not all of us. In personality disorders, due to the nature of them being baked into our personality, which is part biological and part environmental, you will see heavy variations in symptoms.

Additionally, a part of the actual evaluations for ASPD (at least both of the ones I took to get diagnosed - I am from the US for reference) is questions relating to being charismatic/charming and "masters of manipulation". Even the public perception hits on this - saying we are "always playing a social chess game". Those things aren't really compatible with being callous and cold all the time.

To get more into this in the context of your question, though, as you mentioned, ASPD is almost always caused by some amount of trauma. To my understanding as someone with a background in child development, especially in early childhood, our brains basically got here one of two ways if it's trauma based.

The first is our brains developing under the belief that the symptoms of ASPD are just how everyone is, due to being exposed to poor examples or a lack of exmaples of things like remorse, empathy, warmth, etc. This generally comes from abusive/neglectful/emotionally unavailable adults in the child's life and a lack of presence of adults that would guide the child's brain into the natural development of these things because children are literally always learning in the first few years of life especially, and the brain is forming itself around the understanding that the adults give the child of how a human being thinks/acts/behaves/responds.

The other is having specific trauma break down the prior, proper development under the belief that it was either entirely mistaken and people are supposed to behave another way, or as a protective reaction when the brain believes it cannot survive any other way. Research has pointed to trauma directly impacting the neurology of people with PTSD at any age, and that is especially prominent in the ages that ASPD first starts showing up at (15 and younger).

Regardless of which it is, there is more than *just* ASPD being made most of the time in either of these circumstances. When things are unstable in a child's life, they become very likely to develop any number of anxiety disorders. When led to the belief that nothing will ever be good, anyone of any age tends to end up depressed, and pwASPD generally have experiences that have made us see things that way for a *very* long time.

Depression especially is very compatible with ASPD even in public perception - lack of motivation, disinterest in socializing, maladaptive understanding of the world (believing nothing will get better), etc. are symptoms of both ASPD and Major Depressive Disorder.

As for anxiety, it isn't incompatible, but it is probably fairly far removed from the anxiety that prosocials have, specifically in what the anxiety centers on. It is less likely (but definitely not impossible) that a pwASPD would have anxiety about wanting others to like them or worrying about social interactions, but it is very likely to see pwASPD having anxiety about the risk of harm coming to them, people being "out to get us", or that anything good in our life may be unstable and can be lost or taken from us. Insecurity in relationships is common in ASPD because of that type of anxiety - we tend to struggle with the belief that the other shoe will drop, so to speak, any time things seem good or calm in our life. That alone causes a serious amount of anxiety.

These kinds of misconceptions generally come from a specific misrepresentation of ASPD - the idea that we have no emotions or cannot feel certain particular emotions. While sometimes our emotions can be blunted, and some pwASPD are incapable of feeling particular emotions, which ones in particular vary greatly. Boredom and anger/irritation are pretty much always able to be felt by pwASPD to some degree, but outside of that there's a lot of different presentations of the muted emotions trait (not a diagnostic criteria required for diagnosis btw, it's just a common trait seen in many pwASPD). Some people find themselves incapable of feeling things like fear/anxiety and/or depression, sure, but others like me actually feel those at full force but experience heavily mutes positive emotions like happiness. And again, not all of us even have blunted emotions at all, removing any reason we wouldn't be able to have depression or anxiety.

By the way, nothing bad against you for this question!! It absolutely makes sense that this would be confusing to understand what with the common ways that ASPD is talked about and shown in pop culture, documentaries, and often even academic materials. I hold no ill will towards anyone with any genuine misunderstanding of ASPD. It is extremely difficult to grasp the truth of life with this disorder because even the sources that should be reliable often aren't - with small sample sizes, poor sample randomness (so many studies about ASPD are taken exclusively on prisoners), self-reporting (why the hell would we trust a random researcher), and even people who were diagnosed on the stand without advisement from any mental health professional (so people who may not even *have* ASPD, but they have what someone in the legal system *thought* was ASPD). It is so heavily stigmatized and misrepresented that I also had many of these perceptions well into my teen years, even as I recognized symptoms of ASPD in myself. This whole post is /info, I just have terrible issues with tone due to my autism.

Plain text below the cut:

Firstly welcome!/pos

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