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golden1u5t · 22 days

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spencer reid m.list

❣︎- fluff ఌ- smut/suggestive ♡︎- angst

ఌ meeting the old friend | spencer brought you out to meet his old friend, ethan, but he deeply regrets it when ethan starts to flirt with you right in front of him.

❣︎ is it that obvious? | you and spencer were closer than normal when showing up at rossi’s dinner party which causes for teasing from derek and a kiss at the end of the night.

ఌ working all day | spencer’s being a brat because you’ve been working all day, leaving you no choice but to fix his attitude for him.

❣︎ periods and colds | being sick and on your period is never a easy thing. the symptoms that come with it are even worse but you're still determined to go to work and it's up to spencer to make sure you stay home and get taken care of.

♡︎ jj’s confession | the aftermath of jj’s fuck up.

ఌ sober enough | while out at a bar with the team the tension between you and spencer grew to be thicker until it was too much to stand.

ఌ mean but he likes it | spencer finds that he likes it when your upset.

ఌ right here, right now | “you know, i could always get you off right here, right now”

ఌ untitled blurb | making spencer suck your strap before you fuck him.

ఌ worship you | spencer takes notice of how you react to being praised so he takes that information and runs with it.

ఌ home remedy | spencer's a genius, he knows everything and one thing he's learned is that orgasms help with cramps.

ఌ early in the morning | spencer always wakes up before you and he usually takes time to himself to admire you. this morning is different though, he wakes up with the sudden need to bury his head between your thighs.

ఌ discovery | while being pinned down underneath you, spencer really can't think of anything other than filling you up with his cum.

ఌ one more | spencer's a munch. that's it. that's the summary.

ఌ change of plans | the arrangement you had with spencer, friends with benefits, quickly changes to more than that when he sees a cop flirting with you on the job.

ఌ book club | you can’t stop finding yourself in spencer’s bed, even after you’ve broken up.

❣︎ ఌ backwards | you and spencer never got along, with him just getting back from prison and you being the newbie, until you do and things start moving faster than expected.

ఌ ruining him | basically just ruining spencer…

♡︎ ❣︎ ఌ addiction | spencer's working through his addiction and you hate to see him in pain. you was to try and take his mind off of things, even if it'll only last a little while.

❣︎ share the attention | having a new baby around means that majority of the attention goes to it. your daughter thinks that with all the attention your giving the baby you've forgotten about her, luckily spencer is there to explain to her that you both will never forget her.

ఌ substitution | after running out of candies to suck on, you and spencer find a different way to keep your mouth occupied.

ఌ gold chain | post-prison!spencer + gold chain + talking you through it. dangerous combination.

ఌ sativa | having sex with spencer but your both high

ఌ date night | it’s supposed to be date night with just you and spencer but that quickly ended when a guy started to flirt with you. (including aaron hotchner)

ఌ hot tub | after a long case you and spencer find yourselves wanting the same thing, to relax in the hotels hot tub, but the tension between you was so thick it led to doing more things than relaxing.

ఌ I'm onto you | based on "haunted" by beyoncé

ఌ professor | you've always had eyes for your professor, always doing or wearing something that'll provoke him. one day you wear a particularly short skirt and spencer decides he can't take it anymore…

ఌ teacher of all things | spencer may be your professor but how to catch a serial killer isn't the only thing hes teaching you.

❣︎ incoming baby | you and spencer get into an argument over something as silly. while he's too busy being stubborn, you're busy going into labor.

ఌ nyquil | you fuck him so good he falls asleep immediately after you finish.

ఌ mile high | you're bored and teasing spencer seemed to be harmless and entertaining until he pops a boner, you take your chances with inviting him into the small bathroom to have a quickie.

ఌ touch starved | spencer was alone for so long before you got together and he's just so touch starved he gets hard just from looking at you, even if you had just got done having sex.

ఌ talk to me | making spencer talk to you while you jerk him off.

♡︎ mess it up | spencer hadn't been answering any of your phone calls and every time you showed up at his apartment he pretended he wasn't home. so, you go to his job, hoping to get a second chance with him. based on “mess it up” by gracie abrams

ఌ that boy’s a munch | spencer’s a munch. that’s it.

♡ ❣︎ ︎ ఌ honeymoon | sex has always been a bad subject growing up, it was shunned upon to give into your bodies desires without being married or wanting kids. the abuse that came with this topic has caused you to hide away from it, you've never told spencer but when you do, he makes sure to make you as comfortable as he can.

❣︎ mirrorball | spencer notices how you put other people before you all the time so he decides to do something special for just you.

ఌ distract him | spencer looks amazing reading his book, his lip tucked between his teeth and his hands trailing across the page. you can't help but pull him onto your lap and distract him.

ఌ much better | pegging spencer when he gets home after a long case

ఌ a challenge | making spencer cum by just playing with his nipples

ఌ playboy bunny | while being questioned in regards to a murder investigation, your only way of proving your innocence is the tattoo you have on your underboob.

ఌ shade of purple | spencer’s watching you paint your nails his favorite shade of purple and can’t help but let his mind wander.

ఌ hidden freak | spencer's not very used to having to hide hickeys on his body and you had to leave before he had the chance to ask you how to hide it. doing the best he could, he threw on a shirt with a collar and hoped for the best.

♡︎ you're too sweet for me | spencer is your dad's best friend and you're fresh out of college. what happens when he's innocently picking you up from a night out with your friends turns into a heartbreak?

ఌ birthday boy | it’s spencer’s birthday and derek’s birthday gift to him is a trip to the strip club and private dance.

ఌ next time just ask | you’ve had an attitude with spencer all day long, he finds the one thing that’ll make it go away

ఌ intelligence is attractive | spencers always had a crush on you but the way you show your intelligence does him in like nothing else.

❣︎ hollywood star | you and spencer had been in the early stages of your relationship when lila archer came along(or her stalker to put it better). you already weren’t fond of her when she’d been giving spencer heart eyes the entire time but when gideon sent him to watch over her for the night, that really set you off.

ఌ first timer | you’re taking spencer’s virginity and everything is just so much for him that he starts to cry.

ఌ lingerie | you're showing spencer all the lingerie sets you got while out shopping with the girls and you knew he'd like them but you underestimated just how much he'd like them.

ఌ wait your turn | having two partners is great and very fun until you're stuck on the sidelines while they have all the fun. (including aaron hotchner)

ఌ he’s clueless | your boy is a genius but when it comes to sex, he's absolutely clueless.

ఌ patched up | spencer had gotten hurt while on a case and it was up to you to patch him back up, which wouldn’t have been an issue if the tension between you wasn’t so thick.

#golden1u5t #myrarants #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid masterlist

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roxineedstosleep · 4 months

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Could you do a snippet for yandere platonic Batfam where reader accidentally gets hurt and is able to hide it for a few days until someone (May be Dick?) finds it and asks / gets upset about it? Love your writing!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Hi there!!!

First of all: Thank you sweetie!

It's been a while since I've written, mostly because of the university, I'm about to graduate and I'm crazy because I'm approaching my final exams (I even have to defend my research work to be able to get my bachelor's degree)!

But, I got to thinking a bit about what you have written above… and even more so because I myself am a little bit crashed after my last film shoot for my final year of my degree. And can I just say that being in a bad way and having to hide it is terrible.

So… here goes!

(I'm sorry if I sound a bit comical in this writing, but I think the best way to get over something is to laugh at yourself a bit so you don't think about the pain too much; I hope you enjoy it anyway.)

Disclaimer: I don't know if you've noticed, but English is not my native/mother tongue. Occasionally, when I think too much, I write them in my language and then translate it in a trusted translator. So, if there's a grammatical problem or a strange term, it's the translator's fault.

Let's face it… having a large family is terribly exhausting.

It's never quiet enough, everyone is in everyone else's business, you can't leave your favorite mermelade in the fridge for less than a day. Someone is always occupying the bathroom or using your favorite shampoo or watching something on TV at too much volume and someone is probably occupying your bed at nap time.

Did I mention about meddling too much in other people's business? Yes? Well… triple it.

Having multiple siblings was new.

Having multiple siblings, a father and a butler/grandfather isn't exactly bread and butter either.

It wouldn't be so bad to belong to a large and numerous one if it was your blood family and you had lived with them all your life. I mean, sometimes blood is too thick and you have no choice but to learn to love them or just be nice to each other.

Like I said, it wouldn't be so bad if they were really your family.

But the Waynes were not your family. Not distant relatives or anything like that.

You were just living your life, as quietly as possible… and poof!

New room, new butler/grandfather, pets beyond belief, 4 new male siblings and a father with serious emotional constipation issues. And, to add more salt to your wound…. all have serious abandonment issues and death-related trauma.

After several escape attempts, sleep strikes, hunger strikes and any other kind of protest that an anarchist could be proud of… you realized that it was simply impossible to get out of this without risking the path of death.

Which, to top it all off, was also unreliable because apparently your older brother Jason had revived as well as another of your siblings. So no, dying was also not a viable option to which one could resort in the worst case scenario.

What to do?

Well, not much. Trying not to die of suffocation of affection or finding a way to have privacy while going to the bathroom just seemed to be the best survival tools you could resort to.

What does that entail?

It implies that Tim was going to give you hours and hours of lectures on his latest discovery of a case, even if you don't understand half the things he's told you or mentioned at all.

Richard and Damian trying to teach you new tricks almost every second, taking you to the Zoo or not leaving you alone to go to the bathroom.

That Jason, oh holy cow he is the only one more relaxed, takes you with him on his motorcycle to eat ice cream and to the public library. Without being able to scape, because it seems that you have a kind of GPS inserted in the bone marrow.

(Sometimes you don't know if it's true or not, but sometimes you also felt pain between your bones, almost during the cold seasons, and you didn't want to burst your poor little head thinking of different viable possibilities knowing them. No scars, no remembering anythins about any surgery).

Have a grandfather who will not hesitate to make you cookies, your favorite foods whenever you want … without leaving you aside at any time.

Plus a terribly quiet father, who if he can will carry you for as long as you spend time together, won't let you near the secret basement and enjoys being in the same room with you.

Do you see any privacy in this?

No, because even at the bathroom door would be the pets trying to get in and see you for themselves while you want to do your business.

The worst of that? Titus always judge you when you close the curtains.

As I mentioned and it was clear: Having a large family implies little privacy… Having a large, obsessive family means NO privacy.

So, knowing that you have over 50 nanochips tracking in all your clothes, two security monitors embedded - God knows how - in your body (monitors that only tell you if you are in designated safe place), 20 high definition surveillance cameras in every room and a Great Dane chasing you like a chick …. How the heck do you fall down the stairs and hit your pelvic bone without anyone noticing?

No kidding, how?

And if you had to blame someone for your fall… you'd totally blame Damian for it.

It's not that the kid pushed you down the stairs, but over time he had tamed himself into various things and relaxed into looking his age. You know!!! He started acting like a normal teenager!

What do Damian's kids do at his age? Well, they leave things lying around and have messing around them when they can, of course they do!

You just wanted some yogurt with orange marmalade. Maybe some oatmeal cookies. Alfred had left it for you in the fridge when he noticed you'd been watching video tutorials on homemade marmalade for hours. Who were you to deny such a gesture of generosity?

I mean, Alfred was the one who allowed you to hide in the attic for hours on end so you could have some time to yourself.

And how did it end? You, slipping down the main stairs of the old Wayne mansion, down a nicely polished wooden staircase, rolling all the way down (which is no small flight of stairs, it should be noted) to the bottom of the first floor.

Now, lying on the ground is not so bad in itself. What is bad is not being able to feel your legs and still not being able to understand how you manage to tidy up your neural wiring so that your legs can still move on their own and go to the kitchen to rescue all the delicacies Alfred left you in time.

And it's a good thing you managed to do it… because within seconds Bart had rushed in to ransack the fridge and the fruit basket.

But that's not the point.

The important thing is that this time you managed, I insist a little on the feat of action, to climb up to your room and not notice how you couldn't really feel your legs.

You ate, you lay down… and to your bad or good luck, you couldn't get up …. and without anyone noticing there was an emergency and everyone went out to sort it out.

Weak limbs, limited movement and you don't want to mention the embarrassing actions you did in order to go to the toilet.

It's not like you hid it either, I mean, there was no one who could even notice because they weren't entirely available to watch you. Nor is it that you would have run away, otherwise they would have been at your side in less than a second.

The detail, as they insist, is that you had probably bruised your back badly and your body was now taxing you extra for your food craving.

I insist, you did not hide anything.

But still, when you're found completely itchy on the floor, ridiculously trying to run away in the direction of the bathroom… that's when everyone really goes crazy.

First, having to carry you and not dying of embarrassment when you notice that Bruce definitely doesn't give a damn about having to carry you to the bathroom and do almost everything for you.

Or having Dick and Jason carry you and fit you into some kind of weird medical scanner they have in the cave.

Or that Tim keeps track of your periods, types of meds you take and, for fuck's sake, knows how the fuck to inject something into your spine.

Or that Damian had the gall to look a little embarrassed when he heard that a pair of boxers lying outside the laundry basket was to blame for all this.

NO matter.

At the end of the day they heal you, pamper you, leave you alone when you need to take a nap and figure out a way to fix it without looking like complete maniacs who built some kind of internal plumbing that sucks up the dirty laundry and throws it straight into the washing machine.

Like the time they didn't look like maniacs by sanding all the edges of the tables and nightstands.

Or the time they bought a whole brand of sanitary towels when they realised that not all women use tampons.

Don't worry, they're looking out for you… even if they look like deranged Arkhan freaks in the process.

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holybibly · 2 months

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Yesterday I was talking to one of my bunnies and we had a very interesting discussion. Remembering San's life with the famous search for "fan fiction", I thought: what if someone from Ateez could be one of my anonymous bunnies?

So here we are. Which member do you most resemble, bunny? Tell me in the comments. I'm interested.

Ateez as bannies in Holy Bibly blog

Seonghwa - Mommy's most obedient bunny ♥ First one to find the blog ♥ Totally under the spell of atmosphere ♥ Wants to call me Mommy ♥ Totally shameless but extremely obedient ♥ Wants to be called only "Good Boy/Sugar Bunny" ♥ Always asks permission before touching himself: "I've been a good mommy, can I play with myself?" ♥ Gets bored and needy if there are no answers from me ♥ Favourite AU! - Submissive idol, Mommy Hwa, bunny/kitten hybrid, househusband ♥ If he doesn't get attention, he goes a little crazy ♥ Every day he asks me how I'm doing and shows a lot of concern for me. ♥ Biting his lips and whimpering when he sees my answers ♥ Favourite ff - ℌ𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔦𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔤𝔦𝔯𝔩 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔩𝔡 ♥ A passionate desire to be the most loved bunny in the world ♥ A slut for compliments ♥ Uses his cute little bunny toy to rub his pretty cock all over it ♥ Silk pajamas and sweets ♥ A blushing, aching mess ♥ Soft NSFW Links ♥ "I'll be always belong to you, Mommy" ♥ He prides himself on being the most beloved bunny. ♥ He's jealous but doesn't show it because he doesn't want to upset me. ♥ When he touches himself, he moans and whimpers. ♥ Absolutely precious boy ♥ Writes tender vulgar messages in DMs ♥ He puts his fingers in his mouth, drools on them and rolls his eyes. ♥ Always asks for permission before he cum: "Please, Mommy, can I cum now? I've been such a good little bunny for you." ♥ Checking my blog is the first thing he does when he wakes up. ♥ In general, he really wants to be pampered and to be adored.

San - Shy and gentle / toxic bunny ♥ He found out about the blog by chance. He saw a message about the new post on Hwa's phone. ♥ At first he was terribly embarrassed by all the things. But then he became too addicted. ♥ He calls me My Lady, but secretly he yearns to call me Mommy. ♥ The only time he checks the blog is at night, when he is alone. ♥ He is too quick to be turned on by even the most innocent of messages. It just does things for him. ♥ Too shy to send a request, but would really like to do so. ♥ Wants to be called "Kitten/Handsome Boy", but secretly goes by "Sir". ♥ He is jealous and wants to have my full attention. ♥ Favourite AU! - Kitten Hybrid, Royal, Striptease/Sex Work, Professor Choi ♥ Licks his lips all the time during reading ♥ Bites his shirt so Mingi and Seonghwa can't hear how loud he moans when he jerks off. ♥ The kind of guy who likes to rub his dick all over the sheets ♥ He has a penchant for nipple stimulation. ♥ Favourite ff - ℑ𝔱'𝔰 𝔜𝔬𝔲 ♥ Discovery of new kinks in himself after reading my work ♥ After several months of keeping quiet, he plucks up the courage to ask request. ♥ Overly excited about Sugar Weekend, but actually his favourite part is Unholy Hours ♥ Generally torn between wanting to be the best kitty and wanting to control me. ♥ One of the most possessive bunnies here. ♥ A bit of a toxic bunny, but very sweet.

Yeosang - lost/curious bunny

♥ Found the blog because Woo couldn't shut up about it. ♥ Confused by all the requests and the frankness of the bunnies ♥ The first few weeks he didn't understand what was going on. ♥ Literally 🧍🏻He even had to ask Hwa about it. He got a detailed lecture with a demonstration of the materials. ♥ The more he reads, the more addicted he is to it. ♥ He've set up notifications to alert him to new posts so he doesn't miss anything. ♥ He giggles and kicks his legs like a schoolgirl when he reads my replies to the other bunnies. ♥ Gentle baby. ♥ Favourite AU! - Heavy Dom Yeosang, Toxic Boyfriend, Sugar Baby. ♥ Calls me "Miss" or "My Queen". ♥ A very polite bunny who keeps asking me how I'm doing: "My Queen, are you looking after yourself well? You need to drink a lot of water and take vitamins". ♥ Really excited about Yeosang Unni - this is his Roman Empire. ♥ He masturbates in the shower and thinks about all my works. ♥ Each time he remembers the request for a bunny and a shower head. ♥ Moaning in a low and deep voice - "velvet moaning", his favourite phrase. ♥ Wants to be brave and send a request for the Unholy Hour. But doesn't know how to do it properly. ♥ An exquisite bunny with an elegant taste. ♥ He is a little puffy due to the amount of work about him, but he is waiting for Pastor Yeosang and is literally counting the hours until the publication. ♥ Because he wants to have an intimate relationship with me, he doesn't want to discuss it with others. ♥ He loves to be called "My love"

Hongjoong - cheeky/slutty bunny ♥ Finds out about the blog through Hwa. He talks about it all the time, bragging left and right about all the attention he gets from me. Also because of Wooyoung and Mingi's fight over the position of my favorite bunny. ♥ He immediately jumps on the topic. ♥ He has no shame "I'm good in all position" ♥ He boldly communicates with other bunnies, replies to comments and starts whole threads. ♥ No requests, he will write to me in DM right away. ♥ Favourite FF - 𝔓𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔶 𝔉𝔩𝔲𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔡 ♥ Sneaks around on web sites looking for new fur coats ♥ Wants me to call him "Daddy" when he calls me "Mommy". ♥ Attention eater ♥ Maddening jealous: "I just want you to think about me all the time. I'm your favourite bunny." ♥ When tired or upset, comes to talk about his day. ♥ Won't shut up about the results of the voting for a "gift" fic: "You know I'm better than Mingi, right?" ♥ Creates his own sex playlist. ♥ Fan of NSFW Links ♥ Jerks off late at night in his studio. Also likes to touch himself in the shower. ♥ Saves his favourite parts of ff in a separate file. ♥ A moaning mess. ♥ Sometimes forgets his cocky behaviour and asks me to look after him. ♥ All in all very gentle and needy. ♥ Loves to be intimate. ♥ Reading works about Hwa on the sly: "That's my boy" - heartly. ♥ Likes to have conversations with me about kinks. ♥ Favourite AU! - Sugar Daddy, Wolf/Leopard Hybrids, Dilf, Pirate King, CEO

Wooyoung - needy/brat bunny ♥ Found out about the blog by stealing Yeosang's phone. Poor guy choked on his protein shake when he saw Woo looking at the blog. ♥ Totally in love with everything that happens. ♥ Lives and breathes thanks to my work. ♥ Priest Wooyoung is his Roman Empire, rubbing it in everyone's face how fucking hot it was. ♥ He is shameless and open to the point of being impossible. ♥ DM messages 24/7 a day. ♥ He likes to flirt with the other bunnies. ♥ Likes to be called "Good boy / Sweetheart / Foxy". ♥ Will talk about anything and everything in the world. ♥ He deliberately upsets me so that he gets punished: "I've been such a bad bunny, is Mommy going to punish me?" ♥ Loves humiliation. ♥ Calls me "Mommy" in a very horny way. ♥ Spams me with the most depraved requests on a non-stop basis. ♥ Favourite AU! - Fox/Kitten hybrid, sugar baby, toxic boyfriend, religion, sugar daddy (he believes in his potential). ♥ Possesses jealousy: "I can be the only one, can't I?" ♥ Likes to deny himself an orgasm while reading - wants to cum with the characters. ♥ Always horny, so our correspondence tends to be more like a dirty-talking manual. ♥ Comfortably oversized clothes and bulging veins in his forearms. ♥ Favorite FF - 𝔇𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔲𝔰 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔢𝔳𝔦𝔩 ♥ He is incredibly affectionate: "Mommy, do you want me to take care of you? I'm going to behave, I promise". ♥ He will have the audacity to tell me that he masturbates and will ask me to help him with it. ♥ Incredibly loud when he's jerking off. Doesn't care who hears him. Has an amazing time and can't think of anything else. ♥ After a hard day, he loves jerking off in his bed. He takes his time and spreads the pleasure all over the place. Of course, he cum without permission. ♥ "I want to be punished, Mommy".♥ All in all, a soft loverboy.

Yunho - shy/slutty bunny

♥ Finds out about the blog from Hwa. Follows him like a lost puppy until Seonghwa shares the link. ♥ He is a bit shy at first, but he quickly gets involved. ♥ He leaves comments and sends sweet messages to the inbox like an energetic and inspired bunny. ♥ Shy to DM me, but really wants to. ♥ Unholy hours are his thing. ♥ Has a tendency towards corruption kink, size kink, size training. ♥ Yungi is his favourite pairing. ♥ Obediently waits for the second part of BOTH. ♥ Prefers to be called "Pretty boy/Puppy/Sugar bunny". ♥ Calls me "My Lady", but wants to be strong enough to call me "Mistress".♥ Shyly asks for permission to touch himself "May I? Please" ♥ He had no idea how crazy everyone was about his hands until he'd read my work. ♥ Will definitely try putting them in his mouth before mirror to see how that works. ♥ Waiting for new posts like an impatient puppy. ♥ Very excited about the upcoming Priest Yunho fic. Secretly angry about the fact that Wooyoung is the only one who has had his own fic in this series so far. ♥ Favourite AU! - Sugar Daddy, Sub Idol, Yandere, Office, Wolf/Golden Retriever Hybrid ♥ Checks the blog a couple of times a day. ♥ Usually jerks off in the late hours of the night after everyone else has gone to bed. ♥ Cries and pants when he starts playing with himself. ♥ He likes to be overstimulated. He cums at least 3-4 times and brings himself to tears. ♥ He has a fake pussy that he can play with. ♥ "It's so fucking tight, fuck" ♥ He will definitely tell me what he did yesterday evening. ♥ Other than that, he is just a sweet, golden boy.

Mingi - shameless/horny bunny ♥ He found out about the blog when Yunho accidentally spilled the beans about it. ♥ He fell in love immediately and forever. ♥ I'm definitely his favourite. ♥ Loves to read comments, has a big grin on his face all the time. ♥ Very full of himself. ♥ He gets horny too fast and is able to jerk off several times a day. ♥ Calls me "Mistress" in the most perverse manner. ♥ Sends me requests, writes in DMs, and wants my complete and all-consuming attention. ♥ Competing for be favourite bunny on the blog with Seonghwa. ♥ Prefers to be called "Dirty Boy/Fox". ♥ He will definitely write to me in DM to tell me how much he gets turned on by what I write. ♥ Receives a notification every time a new post is made. ♥ "You can put a collar around my neck and strangle me to death, mistress." ♥ He's waiting for a fic about himself as a fox hybrid, he thinks he'd look great with a bushy tail. ♥ DIRTY TALK ♥ He is very possessive: "I would hate to share you with anyone else". ♥ He tests my patience ♥ ℭ𝔯𝔞𝔷𝔶 𝔉𝔬𝔯𝔪 is his religion. ♥ Favourite AU! - Pervert Idol, Sugar Daddy, Striptease/Sex Work, Professor Mingi, Vampire. ♥ He likes to stroke his dick while reading, he is in no hurry with the pleasure. ♥ "Are you going to punish me, Mistress? I've been such a naughty boy." ♥ To punish him, I decided to write down the most detailed dirt on him and send it to him at a totally unexpected time. ♥ He bites his lips and moans softly, swearing terribly. ♥ However, he adores me and will never stop complimenting me.

Jongho - innocent/not innocent bunny

♥ He has no idea why his Hyungs are so obsessed with my blog. Figures it all out for himself through the search for my nickname on Tumblr. ♥ Thinks the whole dynamic between me and the bunnies is funny and he smiling all the time. ♥ Slowly becoming addicted. ♥ He is very interested in the Omegaverse and how it all works. ♥ The bunny that asks questions in the inbox. ♥ "What do I have to call you?" "Are there any rules to follow?" "How open can I be with you?" ♥ Sneaky sends requests about himself to the Unholy Hours ♥ 100% enabled new posts notifications ♥ Pisses off all the Hyungs by being friends with me. ♥ He and Yunho are the main gossips in the dorm and have discussions about everything and anything. ♥ A diligent and obedient bunny with a few hidden kinks. ♥ Loves hip riding, choking and spanking, these things makes him horny. ♥ He is having the time of his life. ♥ Favourite AU! - Sugar Daddy, Hard dom, Omegaverse, Idol x Idol ♥ Reads my blog all over the place, as if it were just a news portal. ♥ He is one of the most sociable bunnies, but he is still anonymous. ♥ My stories make him horny and he doesn't like to lose control of himself. ♥ He ends up masturbating in the bathroom, breathing heavily and biting the palm of his hand to stop himself from moaning out loud. ♥ Loves the idea of NSFW links. He secretly saves all the videos on his phone. ♥ Wants to be called "Darling/Sweet". ♥ He is very caring, so he is always on the lookout for my well-being. ♥ He feels very comfortable and has a lot of fun with me. ♥ He blushes like a school girl when I call him "Sugar Bunny"

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nc-vb · 9 months

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𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐬, 𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐞 & 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐞

sfw, the boy's definitely an over-thinker. not beta-ed oops.

Dan Heng's starting to think you have a staring problem.

This is... a new discovery of his, or, at the very least, a new habit of yours. Who knows how long it's been going on? Certainly, not him. But now that he just so happened to catch you looking his way, a little more focused, a little more intensely, he's... a little self-conscious.

For one, why him? Surely, there isn't anything on his face, not for any of the time he'd caught you. You or one of the others would have mentioned it, anyhow, especially March 7th.

Is it because... he looks different now? Is it because he dons the appearance of another? Is it unsightly to you? Are you upset that he didn't tell any of you, but especially you?

At least you aren't glaring at him, or even completely looking in the other direction away from him whenever your eyes met (unlike a certain grey-haired someone). At this point in your acquaintanceship with each other, he's not sure he can handle the anxiety that would come out of both of you ignoring him.

It unnerves him, and whether it's a good or a bad type of unnerving, he's not quite sure yet. It makes him sweat a little beneath his already-lightened clothing, though, and on his neck behind his long hair; makes his heart race a little faster.

Why? He wishes you'd tell him first, so he wouldn't have to approach you for an answer. Why? He wishes you weren't looking for an excuse to walk away from him when you see him approaching, like you aren't internally panicking (and quite too obviously, externally) when he stops before you. Why?

"So?" he says. You barely flinch, but your expression twists into a bit of a grimace, and he frowns.

Please.

"So... what?" you mumble, gaze firmly averted toward your own feet.

Please. Be on my side.

"The... looks... you've been giving me this whole time," he starts. "It's just... I'd like to know why."

Don't you avoid me, too.

"O-Oh." You clear your throat and press your shoulders back to raise your head, but you still don't meet his eye. "I... well... I-It's nothing bad, if that's what you're worried about."

"Then, can you tell me what it is?" he asks, barely a second away from pleading with you if you decline.

You huff, not irritably, but as if nervous, or inconvenienced, and it makes Dan Heng's heart palpitate.

"It's... it's difficult to look at you and speak to you at the same time," you lowly admit. His eyes widen in surprise, and almost immediately, his thoughts begin to race again.

"I-I'm sorry," he tells you. Now, you somehow have no problem looking at him, lips parted in shock.

"What? Why are you apologizing?" you say with a disbelieving shake of your head. But then it clicks, and you realize your mistake. "Dan Heng, it's not because of that, I-I promise."

Now, he's confused. It's not? Then, what else?

"I-It's..." Why are you stammering? Is it so hard to just... tell me? "Y-You're just--"

"Just what?" Dan Heng begs.

You swallow harshly, and under his intense and saddened gaze, you feel yourself growing warmer and warmer, almost boiling like a kettle atop a fire until you could hold yourself back no longer.

"I just didn't think it was possible for you to look even prettier than you already are, okay?!" you hiss at him. "I-I was embarrassed! Don't ask me about it anymore, alright?!" And you stalk off towards March 7th and Welt Yang, hands covering your face and stuttering out a loud, "S-So, we're leaving now, right?!"

Dan Heng can barely bring himself to react. Standing there amidst the rubble of the Scalegorge Waterscape, his eyebrows have shot so high up toward his forehead that he manages to jokingly wonder if they've flown away.

His skin flushes, his cheeks rosy and lips parted in shock.

"... p-prettier?" He blinks. Several times. The shock doesn't dissipate. "You... You think I'm pretty?"

What floods his veins is a confusing, concentrated mixture of relief and, surprisingly, adoration. For your lack of frustration for him, for the fact that you weren't ignoring him for omitting such a huge fact about himself, for so many silly thoughts and concerns that you managed to invalidate by shouting a simple compliment at him. You weren't ignoring him, after all.

That's all it took to shake him from his funk. That's all it takes for him to step forward, his toes barely touching the floor when he floats across the floor of the Dragonvista Rain Hall after you.

#sorry-- i was just thinking about him again ;-;#thoughts spilling out in non chronological order whoooops #I'D TELL HIM HE'S PRETTY ALL DAY LONG IF HE LETS MEEEEEE HNNNGGGGG #is this coherent? it's 3am. i'm eepy and my eyes are blurry.#dan heng #dan heng x reader #dan heng x yn #dan heng x y/n #hsr x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #imbibitor lunae #✦ nc vb.#dan heng fluff

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redeyerhaenyra · 9 months

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Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Summary: It's been a month since you've broken up with the moon knight system, and you start to notice someone.. watching you

Warnings: Stalking, breaking and entering, kidnapping, yandere themes, angst, no beta we die like harrow

Notes: So after all the positive responses on this post I just had to create in headcanon form- for those who want to listen to the song that inspired this fic, here :)

Breaking up with the moon boys was the hardest thing you'd ever had to do, but it did need to be done.

With the near constant dissappearing to do Khonshu's bidding, sometimes for weeks on end, with only a note or a text to tell you where they were and then radio silence, it was just too much for you. Your heart couldn't take waiting for them, worrying that they would never return, even if Khonshu was protecting them.

And so, you had begun the process of moving out during the time they were away on a mission.

Marc had come home to find your clothes, trinkets, anything that would indicate your presence gone.

You were there though.

Normally you'd be so happy to see him again, running up to him and kissing him with all your might.

Today, instead, you sadly smiled at him.

"Baby, what's up?" Marc had asked, gently holding your forearms after you had rejected his hug. He could tell you were upset.

"Baby?" "I'm leaving, Marc. I'm sorry."

He had stared at you, dumbfounded. You swallowed down your tears- "I can't do this anymore." You didn't have to explain, you knew what he meant.

You waited anxiously for his response, instead spying his eyes roll back into his head, and now you were faced with Steven and oh god, his eyes, they were already tearing up.

Coward, you thought of Marc, which was admittedly a little harsh but breaking up with them would be so much harder facing Steven's sorrowful gaze.

Steven looked terrified, moving to cup your face in his hands and you had to physically move back to stop him.

"D-darlin', please, what'cha talkin' about?" "I'm sorry steven-" "Please don't leave us love, please, 'can't do it without you please-"

"Stop it." You'd said firmly, Steven sobbed. You couldn't help but take his hands in yours, ever wanting to comfort him.

"Steven.. I will always love you," "Then why'd you have to leave!?" "Because I can't do this anymore!!"

You were both crying now. "I-i can't take waiting for you to never come home to me anymore, Steven, I can't do it."

Steven's gazed was fixed on the ground, his tears dripping onto the floorboards. You gave his hands one final squeeze, before pulling away.

"I will always love you, all of you, but my heart cannot take it anymore.. goodbye."

The strength with which it took to pull yourself away from Steven should have won you a medal, and you couldn't stop yourself from crying even more as you left him.

That was a month ago- with the help of a few friends you'd found yourself a decently priced flat for rent on the other side of London. Far enough away, you hoped.

It wasn't far enough. Jake had found out where you lived within days of you leaving. He knew it was wrong, but the part of him that didn't care grew and grew into something monstrous. At this stage the other boys weren't saying anything to disapprove of his actions, and so he continued to watch you.

He'd drive circles around your block to relearn your new routine, and you hadn't yet realised it was his cab you kept seeing.

The one person you actually hadn't said goodbye to was Jake- he hadn't fronted when you'd left, and you would always wonder if he was there, just choosing not to show himself. But if he wasn't? He'd have woken up to the discovery that you weren't together anymore and you'd always feel guilty for that.

But... you tried to move on with your life, as best you could.

It felt wrong to start dating again, but your friends had urged you to, even if it was a one night thing.

The guy you'd matched with on bumble was nice enough, smart, good looking- he wasn't them though. While he was polite and friendly during your dinner date, he wasn't your boys.

He'd walked you home, and you'd set up a second date. All things considered it was successful- but you just felt.. wrong about the whole thing. Like you were cheating, even though you weren't.

You'd guessed it wasn't all that successful, as he'd ghosted you a day or so after your date.

It was a week or so later that you'd seen the news report of his body having turned up in the Thames. God how awful! He hadn't ghosted you- the poor guy had been murdered.

Jake had really earned a bollocking off of Steven and Marc for that one, but he knew they were relieved you wouldn't be seeing that man again.

You'd decided to halt the dating game after that, for a while at least.

You were lonely though, there was no denying. Having no one to cuddle up to in bed sucked.

And so.. the logical conclusion was a pet, no?

Eventually, you found a young, ginger tomcat named "Franklin" in a nearby animal shelter and you just fell in love, you brought him home the same day.

He was great, not exactly filling the whole in your heart left by three men but you certainly adored him, and who wouldn't say no to curling up in bed with a cat every evening? Certainly not you.

One day, you'd left work for your lunch break only for the horrifying realisation to hit you: You'd forgot to feed Franklin that morning! You rushed home as fast you could- only to discover that, you had fed him, even when you were sure you hadn't.

And yet there he was, munching on his bowl of kibble.

Something squeaked under your foot- you looked down- oh, it was one of Franklin's toys. You threw it across the room for him to play with but- hang on... you didn't remember buying him that toy.

You shook your head free of thoughts that you were going mad- everyone forgets things, even buying specific cat toys. Or maybe one of your friends had left it when they'd been over- it didn't matter.

You moved to leave your flat and return to work- only to find your door lock jammed.

The locksmith you'd hurriedly called in was able to fix it in a jiffy, though advised that the jam was probably due to a break in, and that you should change your locks.

A chill ran down your spine- you checked and double checked, nothing of value had been stolen, but someone had been in your home! Is that who had fed Franklin? Who'd left him the toy?

You changed the locks, and threw out the strange toy.

Jake couldn't stop watching you. It was becoming more and more of a problem.

He was ignoring Khonshu and actively pushing Marc and Steven out when they tried to front, knowing they'd put and end to his antics.

But none of them could deny that they wanted, needed you back. Jake just considered himself the only one with the balls to get you back.

There was no warmth in his life now that you weren't there. Steven's flat no longer felt like home without your t-shirts in the laundry, or the brand of coffee you love but Marc hates in the cupboards.

He knew he ought to leave his little girl alone, but the fact remained you were his little girl. Jake would stop at nothing to have his bebita back.

Now it was two months since you'd broken up with the system. Life wasn't perfect, but you were chugging along.

You turned the lights on in your flat, yawning. Work was tough today, but it was Friday, and you had some left over popcorn in the cupboard. Film night~!

"Franklin? Baby? Mummy's home~!" You cooed, knowing that he always came bounding up and purring whenever you came home.

But.. he didn't. Your flat was silent. No distant meowing or the jingle of the bell on his collar. Nothing.

"Franklin?" You stepped further into your flat, worry seeping through you.

"Franklin..?!" Your tone became more and more erratic with the realisation that Franklin wasn't home- and then someone had covered your eyes with their hand, and pressed a strange scented cloth to your mouth. You kicked and screamed and struggled but it was no use- the chloroform had knocked you out in seconds.

Jake held you tenderly to his chest as you faded into unconsciousness. Steven had earlier expressed his distaste at this plan, but neither him or Marc said anything now, so close to having you again.

You woke the next day, nauseous and tired. The distant meowing you heard gave you comfort- it had all been a bad dream.

But when you opened your eyes, you were met with the horrifying scene of Steven's flat, not your own. So familiar, in any other situation you would have been glad to be here.

You shifted to sit up, eyes working their way down to notice your ankle tied to the bed with the restraint normally reserved for Steven.

You choked back a sob- a hum ripping your gaze to the other end of the room.

There lay Franklin, enjoying some pets from the man who's lap he laid on.

Jake Lockley stared back at you, you could tell it was him, you could always tell between them.

"Buenos dias, hermosa." His voice was rich like coffee, normally so comforting but now? It sent a shudder down your spine.

"You and I have some things to discuss, sí?"

#jake lockley moonknight #jake lockely x reader #jake lockley #jake lockely x you #jake lockely imagine #jake lockley angst #jake lockley headcanon #moon knight x reader #moon knight #moon knight angst

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jq37 · 24 days

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So, that lady FH episode was amazing and all, but...

Hoo boy, I already see the discourse around the Ratgrinders' fates forming and it is going to be painful. Be careful around the fandom space.

(I mean, resurrection is still on the table for them, but that's based on if the players feel like it and right now, we're looking at 50/50 odds at bests)

Yeah, don't worry about me. This isn't my first rodeo and also I post a lot about D20 and respond to asks I get but I don't actually personally engage with any of The Discourse (tm).

And I'm not really surprised at the reaction. I know people have been opinionated all season in two main camps (that have a lot of overlap): people dissatisfied with the narrative direction and people deeply sympathetic to the Rat Grinders to the point of being mad at the Bad Kids.

The first camp I mostly understand. I get wishing the cast would explore a certain storyline more. For example, I've been on the Aelwyn redemption arc train since literally the first episode of Fantasy High so I was a little disappointed that when that finally came to a head in Freshman Year, it was a big fight and then very little aftermath/unpacking because Aelwyn was sent to jail right after. And Sophomore Year hadn't been announced so I had no idea that she was gonna get another shot. But I wasn't upset or anything. Adaine at that point still hated her sister. She had no reason to want to reach out. And at the end of the day this is other people playing a game. Brennan presented them all the possible plot threads and they were most interested in self discovery, hanging out with each other, doing Shenanigans, and playing Tomb Raider re: Ankarna. Those are all options they were presented and it's not like they were doing crazy off-roading. It's well within the parameters of what D&D is. If you're gonna watch a show like this (or honestly any show), you have to accept that what's most interesting to you isn't always going to be the most interesting thing to the people in the driver's seat.

So yeah, I feel like this side of things I get (even though I'm fine with how things turned out).

The other camp--people being legit mad at the Bad Kids (and in some cases the actual cast) for treating the Rat Grinders like antagonists instead of victims that they were responsible for empathizing with and redeeming--I find kind of wild.

Like…you're mad at the kids who go to Child Murder School for killing kids who want to end the world and kill them specifically? Literally the first day of school the principal of the school says that adventurers are violent wanderers who engage in shenanigans and enact violence. This is the exact assignment they were given and that's what they're doing.

I think it's wild to at the same time believe that the Rat Grinders (who have killed people) are not responsible for their actions and deserve to be talked down while in the process of causing an apocalypse because they're just kids who were manipulated while at the same time calling the Bad Kids evil lunatics for trying to stop them by killing them (in a world where Revivify and Resurrection exist) even though they are ALSO kids who are doing what they've learned at Child Murder School. The Bad Kids have to be mature enough to thoroughly investigate the situation and have nuance about it but the Rat Grinders don't have any responsibility to not join a shady evil murder plan*? And do the Bad Kids really hate the Rat Grinders to the point where they're doing some overkill in this fight? Absolutely. But it's not like they're killing them because they hate them. They're killing them because they're trying to end the world--and they also happen to hate them. Are we forgetting that Kipperlilly killed Buddy--her own teammate--with a gleeful smile on her face? That was so out of pocket.

They're adventurers! Not guidance counselors! If Jawbone was like, "We need to kill these kids," yeah that would be weird but why would the Bad Kids extend an olive branch to the kids who (1) famously hate them, (2) killed at least one maybe 2 of their own party members, (3) endangered the entire student body population an hour ago, (4) are currently trying to end the world. Hell, Adaine was ready to be mean to her own sister in elf jail literally up until the point Brennan described how rough she looked from the torture and that's when she changed her mind. The Power of Love and Empathy is on the menu but it's a special item you only can get if you know the chef. Everyone else is getting a serving of These Hands. Just because you can find a vegan solution to a problem it doesn't mean you're obligated to.

This all comes down to, "Maybe teenagers shouldn't have godlike powers and the ability to play judge, jury, and executioner" but that's literally the premise of the entire show so you can't get around it without rejecting the show's entire premise. If they were like, "Hmm the systems that underpin our world are questionable and we should change the power structures" instead of, "Let's kill some bad guys!" then that's a totally different thing we're doing here!

And, idk man, this show has always had a Who Framed Roger Rabbit style morality where the normal rules of ethics stop applying when it's funny. They beat the crud out of Ragh and then lied to him that he shit his pants just for the bit. A pirate was rude/kinda racist to Riz so they scared him into killing himself. Riz ate the remains of the sentient (albiet evil) dragon he killed. That's all unhinged behavior but none of that is meant to be serious. Getting upset about Fig sending Ruben to hell to me feels like getting mad that Jerry hit Tom with a cartoonishly large mallet.

None of this is new so I have to assume that people are having a big reaction because they relate to the Rat Grinders or just really like them so it feels bad that the Bad Kids are treating them like fodder rather than beloved NPCs.

But again, this is a world where you can bring people back from the dead and the Rat Grinders have showed intent that is grievously neglectful at best and insanely murderous at worst so I can't muster a lot of sympathy for the fact that the Bad Kids are just taking them down without remorse. I don't think you have to try to empathize with the people who are trying to harm you if you don't want to especially while they are in the process of harming you.

(*And we still don't know how voluntarily they joined this plan. We don't know if they were killed and basically forced into resurrecting with rage or if they just leapt at the chance to join a plan that would let them get one over on their rivals. It literally could be either. We've had kid villains on this show strong armed into being party to evil plans by threat of harm (Aelwyn) as well was kid villains who just had their own selfish motivations and weren't tricked at all (Penelope and Biz). We actually don't have any clear answer on how culpable they are. We don't know if they all have rage crystals (except for Buddy). And we don't know how much having a Rage Crystal effects your actions. The best indicator we got is in this latest ep when Brennan said that there was a mechanic where Porter was going to call anyone with a rage crystal to fight for him but that says to me that he's only directly puppeting them when he uses that action and otherwise they have free will and are just angrier. The Bad Kids don't have a reason to believe definitively that the Rat Grinders are just unwilling puppets even if that is the case so of course they're treating them like enemies. Anyway, this is a whole lot of "I don't knows" but that's only because I've seen a lot of people talking like the Rat Grinders literally aren't in control of their actions but that's not info that we have. It could be true but we don't actually know that so it's not a good argument.)

#asks #dimension 20 #fantasy high #spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #brwolf1995 #i've seen ppl say that the bad kids were mean the the RG's for no reason and it's like.#...the reason is that this is a show based on high school pop culture tropes #and they immediately and correctly clocked that KP is tracy flick #like come on man #and there's no reason to believe they can't be rezzed once this is taken care of #idk why ppl are acting like they're dead-dead #ankarna could just raise them like cass raised K at the end of SY if brennan wants #also lmao emily was brutal to ruben but I think that was mostly just irl person emily being like I put all this effort into you #and I never learned anything useful???? then perish #it's not that deep #one of my friends was like 'babe this isn't steven universe'#and I think about that a lot

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grandlinedreams · 8 months

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absolutely love your writing 😭 you write law so in character its so good. i want to see laws reaction to reader accidentally (or not) discovering his nerdy sora comics collection. ty 💛

Hi!! Thank-you so much, that's an honor 🥺 I'm a lil obsessed w him istg (more than a little but anyways) here you go, I hope you enjoy it!!

You're acting weird. To be fair though, in a crew as diverse as the Heart Pirates, "weird" is a subjective thing and depends on who Law is meaning.

You're acting weird for you. There's an odd jumpiness to you now, specifically whenever Law is involved ㅡ and he wonders if he's done something wrong.

Your relationship is still fairly new to you both, still trying to find the perfect balance between professionalism and something softer and more intimate.

Law mentally filters through your interactions (both as crewmates and not) and when he comes up with nothing, he decides to ask you.

"Have I done something to upset you? I'd like to know so I can fix it." He watches confusion flicker across your face, then guilt.

"No, you didn't do anything." You bite your lip, a habit he's been trying to break you of. Instinctively, he reaches to press his thumb against your bottom lip, tugging it free of the worried knead of your teeth. "Promise you won't be mad?"

Now it's Law's turn to be confused. "It depends on what you did," he answers honestly and immediately kicks himself for the way you shrink back. "As long as it has nothing to do with the integrity the Polar Tang and you haven't sold us out to the Marines, it can't be that bad."

That at least gets a ghost of a smile from you. "As if I'd ever do either of those," you tell him, a hint of pride in your voice. The Polar Tang is your home, and the Heart Pirates are your family.

"Continue," he prods gently, and the nervousness returns to your expression. He gives you a moment, watches as you steel yourself before you blurt in a tumbled rush of words,

"I maybe sort of accidentally found your Sora Warrior of the Sea comics."

It takes him a long moment to parse out what you've said, and you watch as his expression shifts to an unreadable one, brim of his hat shadowing his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," you say, feeling even worse than you have the last couple of days. "I didn't mean to, honest. Bepo needed a copy of a report from a few days ago and I thought I'd seen you put it in one of the drawers andㅡ" You halt, voice wavering. "I'm really sorry."

You mean it. He knows you do, knows you'd never breach his privacy without good reason ㅡ even as close as you are now, there are things he's not ready to talk about, or show.

In the grand scheme of things, the discovery of his carefully curated collection of beloved comics is not the end of the world. Hardly a punishable offense, even though you're clearly expecting him to be pissed.

"It's okay, [Name]." He watches as you visibly relax, though there's still a nervous edge to you. "I'm not upset, just...surprised."

"Understandable," you mumble. "For what it's worth, it's a nice collection. I wanted to get into it when I was younger, but I never got a chance to."

He perks up a little at that, latches onto the opportunity you've given him. "If you'd like," he says, "we can read them together. If you want, I mean."

Another little flake off that careful barrier he's built around himself, another soft spot exposed ㅡ trusting you not to abuse it. As if you ever would ㅡ his trust in you is one of your most teasured things.

"Law?" He looks at you, taking in that wonderful smile he'd do unspeakable things to protect. "I'd love that."

#ㅡmine.#one piece x reader #one piece scenario #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #ㅡanswered.#anonymous #–ml: law.#last post for tonight so i don't spam the tag wkdkdjd goodnight!

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silverwhittlingknife · 1 month

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OKAY SO i have been rereading dustorange's wonderful post here about Dick in an UtRH-esque scenario where he dies & then comes back to life

AND I HAVE INCOHERENT BRAINSTORMING THOUGHTS:

so first, i think Robin!Dick would be just as hurt by the discovery that Bruce has a new Robin, and brood about it - but i think the shame of having died would stop him from confronting Bruce about it the way Nightwing!Dick does in canon.

and I do NOT think that he would expect Bruce to kill anyone for him (or even be upset that he doesn't? I just don't think this would be a consideration for Dick. he's gonna be fixated on "I failed." so he'll be upset about being replaced but not about the lack of revenge. and if Bruce did take revenge, i think he'd actually feel angry and betrayed about that because it'd feel like the choice was taken away from him, a la how upset he gets when he thinks Bruce has arranged to have Zucco killed - even if he intellectually knows that Bruce wasn't deliberately undermining himbecause he didn't know Dick was gonna come back to life.)

anyway so what WOULD he do??

what comes to mind is something along the lines of "Dick obsessively keeps an eye on Batman & Robin even while telling himself that he's not"

and then - say - if it's Robin!Tim (i feel like this has to be Tim because in the world where Dick dies there is no way that Bruce is voluntarily picking a new Robin), then maybe the moment when Dick steps in is when Bruce is in danger & he's furious / critical of Tim for not protecting Bruce well enough

and i feel like that's how he'd channel the hurt feelings - it'd all be deflected under shame and obligation, and then translated into the anger of "you replaced me & yet you're failing to do the job that you're supposed to do" (which is actually about projection/self-hatred because Dick would actually be mad at himself for having died & not doing that job anymore)

and Dick wouldn't want to see Bruce at all because of the shame over dying & subconscious fear that Bruce doesn't want him back, plus every little thing that Tim does differently would drive him NUTS because it implies that maybe the way Dick did things wasn't good enough for Bruce

i'm actually kind of fascinated by this now. because i am me and i have (1) obsession i am mostly invested in the dick & tim side of it sdfsdfds

so i'm picturing Tim very stung by whatever critical things Dick said to him & tracking this mysterious vigilante down, and then Dick doesn't want to spend ANY time with him BUT he's also subconsciously desperate for news of Bruce!!! so then something something Dick starts sorta training him a la Tim's various contacts with edgy non-batman-aligned vigilantes, and Tim's very defensive about how he IS a good robin so THERE but of course he's also defensive because he's secretly worried he's not good enough.

normally i would have tim Recognize dick since recognizing dick is tim's most basic skill HOWEVER i think it would be much more fun if tim doesn't recognize him so he can give dick a speech about legacy & the first robin: "i do x and such because that's how the first robin did it so it is Objectively Correct." which Dick will find incredibly infuriating but will be unable to counter since he cannot counter with 'the 1st robin was ME'

…hmmm i do think Dick ought to be angry about SOMETHING about batman's methods/attitude just because that's more dynamic? I feel like in order to make the adaptation work, there ought to be SOME kind of argument with Bruce right before he dies that he can still be mad about, a la the garzonas fight for Jason and Bruce. unsure what though?

okay let's see: I feel like Dick's main arguments with Bruce aren't about vigilante issues per se so much as they're about working in a team - so e.g.

1) Bruce being controlling/demanding, and 2) Bruce being secretive and doing stuff behind Dick's back, and 3) Bruce not allowing Dick enough autonomy, 4) just generally a perceived lack of trust.

SO maybe whatever The Frustrating Thing that bruce was doing when dick died is a thing he's STILL doing with this new robin, and dick is getting frustrated all over again sorta on tim's behalf but mostly on his own behalf because he never got to resolve this with bruce

but anyway that way when Bruce finally spots disguised!Dick, then they can have the fight again before Bruce realizes who he is <3

#extremely good ideas / extremely bad ideas #there should be utrh!dick + robin!tim fics. i've decided now #sorry jason fans i love you i don't know where he is in this scenario #maybe uhhh he moved to metropolis. i don't know #anyway i do NOT believe dick would ever ever ever take on the Red Hood identity in a million years though #jason's got a whole 'i confront my worst fear via becoming it' thing going on #but i feel like dick's angst would be more about Me & Bruce rather than directed at the joker or any particular enemy #so no Red Hood #he does need a new costume though so i'm picturing him in the Renegade costume from the mob arc

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g1rlr0b1n · 1 month

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Look guys!!! It's G1rlR0b1n 💖💖💖 (bet you didn't know this is what my handle meant lol)

Yet another commission by the super talented @tamdrry!!! (this was done a while ago I just hadn't gotten around to posting it)

So, there was actually a fic that was supposed to go along with this but... I never got around to finishing it 😭

If you want to see what I had planned to write you can check it out under the cut. 👇

One of my personal headcanons is that Damian is nonbinary (or trans but for this particular story, just nonbinary for now)

Anyway, he starts to discover this after spending a lazy afternoon with Cass and Steph in Cass's room.

They're cleaning out her closet and think it'd be fun to play dress up with her little brother. He relents because he likes feeling included and he enjoys their company and doesn't 'want to mess this up'. They're several piece swaps and a whole makeover in when the girls finally settle on what they have decide is the perfect 'fit. Damian turns to see himself in the mirror, mini skirt, crop top, fish nets, combat boots, smoky cat-eye, glossy lips, and he just…freezes… doesn't react… until he does. He starts to cry and flees from the room. The girls don't know what to do but they run after him. He nearly knocks Bruce over in the hallway, then the girls come storming after and he stops them.

Bruce: what's going on?

Steph (she looks worried): we were just messing around, we didn't mean to make him cry!

Cass (also upset and crying herself): we didn't mean to hurt him.

Bruce: ok, let me talk to him. Go back to your room, we'll chat in a bit. Try to calm down, ok?

The girls nod reluctantly but turn and go back to Cass's room. Bruce had long suspected that Damian may be having a difficult time with self-discovery from little things he's picked up on and from when he was at that age himself. he had a feeling something like this would be coming sooner than later, after all, emotions and individuality were not traits looked highly upon by the League of Assassins… or (he admits) with the Batman. he knocks on his door and when there is no answer he peeks in. Damian is sitting on the carpet in front of his floor length mirror.

Bruce: hey chum

Damian:

Bruce: can I sit down?

He says nothing again but scootches over slightly

Bruce: you wanna talk about it?

Damian:

Bruce: Cass and Steph think they've upset you.

Damian shakes his head: I'm not mad at them. (He emphasizes the word 'them')

Bruce: are you mad at yourself?

Damian nods but says nothing else. Bruce pulls him into a hug and he allows it, buries his face into him, cries, and Bruce just holds him there. They say nothing else until Damian finally let's go an eternity later. Bruce tells him he won't make him talk about it and he won't make him explain himself to the girls but he is going to tell Cass and Steph that he isn't upset with them unless he would like to do it himself (he'll tell them nothing more than that, he emphasizes). Damian's not ready to face them, he tells his father he can relay the message, and he does, later once Damian has asked to be left alone. The girls are relieved, they don't ask questions, they respect Damian's privacy. It's one of the reasons why Damian loves them.

A week later Bruce takes Damian to go to a fashion show with him, he goes because his father has been nagging him to put more effort into him public persona long before this anyway. There he sees androgynous models wearing mashups of typically male and female clothing and something starts to click. He feels seen for the first time but the feeling is uncomfortable and he begins to sink into himself, Bruce pulls him into his side, and he doesn't pull away.

Another week goes by and Damian comes home to find a large box on his bed, tied up with a large red ribbon. There is a tag that just reads, "fighting evil by moonlight". He opens the box and there is a new Robin uniform inside reminiscent of one of his favorite characters, Sailor Moon. The tears he cries are from happiness this time.

#damian wayne #bruce wayne #dc comics #sorry if it's choppy. it's just a concept 😅 (the fic)#also I kept going back and forth with the adult in this story #at first it was Selina in the cool step-mom role but I decided that wasn't intimate enough #then it was Dick as the caring older brother but I dumped that because he sounded too fatherly #sooo...I changed it to an actual father lol #enter good dad Bruce lol #Anyway this is one of my favorite comms because Sailor Robin is actually dedicated to my wife who is transfem 💖

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merbear25 · 5 months

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Experimental w/ Law (NSFW)

MDNI!!! +18

CW: smut, although based on a yandere quiz I took, it isn't yandere themed, bondage, vaginal penetration, creampie, afab!reader, light choking and slapping, slight female degration, rough sex, takes place in an abandoned asylum so there's mention of some equipment being used on reader.

A/n: I was inspired by my results from this quiz on Quotev. Wanted to make something that was more NSFW (of course changing other parts a little bit, too) Idc if the quiz is centered around Halloween and I'm writing this in January! It's always Halloween in my heart <3

Inspo: Your One Piece Yandere Horror Story

Despite having been on your fair share of adventures with the Heart Pirates, you still had yet to be paired up with Law. It was purely by chance that this was your first time one-on-one with him on a mission. You'd already shared pleasant conversations and been able to get to know each other on board the ship. You both seemed to like the other's company.

Having spotted the somewhat small egnimatic island in the distance, Law's curiosity was peaked and interested to thoroughly explore it. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but nonetheless, you'd been slipt up into groups to cover more ground.

Setting his sights on a white building peeking over the treetops, Law suggested the two of you search around its grounds. You saw no reason to protest, so you gladly journeyed along by his side.

When you both reached the building, its decrepit state was more than apparent. You hesitated to follow Law up the short flight of stairs to the main entrance. Looking back at you, he uttered, "Come on." Briefly maintaining eye contact, he broke it and continued through the rickety doors.

A sudden chill krept up your spine and made you hurry towards him.

"Didn't take you for such a scaredy cat," Law smirked over his shoulder.

Your cheeks grew rosey from slight embarrasement. Puffing out your chest a little, you strutted next to his side, "Being cautious is not the same as being scared."

His huff was the closest thing to a laugh you were going to get out of him.

Even though you were both checking the downstairs thoroughly, there didn't seem to be anything worth taking. You came across a few empty rooms with suspicious scratches on the walls that peaked your interest, though. Then, you both stumbled into what appeared to be an office. Thumbing through the files, you turned to Law and informed him of your suspicions, "These files are all of patients." He merely raised an eyebrow at your discovery. "They state each one's reason for being admitted." Looking down at the files you'd grabbed, you felt a twinge of sorrow.

"There's no use getting upset over what happened here," he went back towards the door, "It's all in the past and can't cause anyone any more harm."

"Somehow the room feels colder with you in it," You meekly responded.

Shrugging your comment off, he continued upstairs.

Not far from the railing a rusted sign down the hall caught both of your attention. Without having to bring it up, you simultaneously walked in its direction to check it out.

Forcing the door open, firstly your gaze settled on a dusty metal restraint table, then darted to the needles, pliers, and scalpels surrounding it, having once taunted those who were unfortunate enough to be made a spectacle of.

"This is more like it," he nonchalantly threw out and strolled past the equipment.

Slightly taken aback by that, you tried to regain your composure to avoid any more accusations of being a 'scardey cat'.

He touched the leather cuffs at the sides and your eyes met for a moment before averting his eyes back down to the cuffs. "Get on," coolly instructing you.

Leaving any fear you may have had at the door, you stepped forward trying to redeem yourself and reclaim your bravery. Gingerly easing yourself onto the contraption, your nerves started getting the better of you, shown by the tremors in your limbs.

The sight of your brave face being accompanied by shaking arms and legs was hard for him not to faintly chuckle at - he saw the glare you shot at him as a small price to pay. "It's not going to break," he reassured you while grabbing the side of the table and rocking it back and forth, "See? It's good quality. Not even that rusty."

Internally screaming and cursing this man to high heavens, you were far too stubborn to back out of this now. You laid down and before you could even finish asking 'now what?' he'd strapped your left arm down. "Don't move," he ordered. You watched him intently as he secured the rest of you and promptly locked the wheels in place. When he came up to the right side of you, he told you, "And don't worry. This'll be fun." Without any warning, he fastened your neck to the table.

Goose bumps were appearing from the cool metal prickling your skin and the rising and falling of your chest accompanied them. You barely had time to comprehend what'd just happened before he grabbed a scalpel and was admiring it. While he was tenderly pressing the blade against the tip of his index finger, you taunted him, "If you plan on using that on me, then I'd hope you have a tetanus shot to follow up with." A smirk reappeared on his stoic face and he bluntly asked, "Would you ever have sex in a place like this?"

Trying to convice yourself more than him at this point that you're brave, you huffed, "Sure. Why the hell not?" Your shrug went unnoticed. You decided to ask him the same.

Looking down at your form, a 'Might be fun' traveled past his lips. He hummed softly while tracing the curve of your hip and waist. You couldn't tell if your heart excelerated from the metallic touch or his. Which ever it was, his fingers found their way to your inner thigh. Gently squeezing the flesh that was so carelessly left exposed to the elements, his stare kept fixated on your expression. Trailing further up your leg, Law's fingers followed the lining of your panties. Your lovely cheeks were becoming more flushed and your delicate lips were quivering. With a bit more pressure, he ran his middle finger up and down your folds, which were still being concealed behind thin fabric. Finding your already swollen clit with ease, he ruthlessly toyed with it.

When the longing in your eyes became unmistakable, he eagerly yanked your panties down, swiftly pulling them down to your ankles. Wasting no time, he shoved his middle and ring fingers into you and after a couple of rough, fast paced pumps, his thumb persisted in tormenting your most sensitive spot.

Unable to freely squirm from the rush coarsing through you, you were reduced to whimpers and jerky thrusts in a desperate attempt at meeting his pace. You whined when you felt his hand pulling away from your needy pussy. A swift slap colided with your sweet spot and you drew in a sharp breath.

"Don't get ahead of yourself now." His other hand caressed your face. "I need you to understand who's in control here." Inching his face closer to yours, his focus shifted from your eyes to your lips. "Got it?" You nodded in agreement, but that wasn't enough for him. Your cheek received a firm slap and was hastily grabbed again, forcing your eyes to meet his. "Say 'Yes, sir.'"

You choked out his demand and were rewarded with Law's lips harshly meeting yours. His hand now gripped at your silky locks on the back of your head. As the kiss deepened, the other regained control over the lower half of your body.

Breaking away from your liplock, your breaths were harmonizing in desperate low moans. Your body still squirmed as if it was begging to be pounded mercilessly. Tightening his grip, his hand was now trapped between your clenched thighs, and he sighed in contempt, "Your cunt is throbbing." He tugged his belt loose but his hand hovered around his zipper. "Tell me how much you want it."

Lust overcame you, your chest felt hot, you couldn't deny him even if you tried, "Fuck," your hips bucked upwards, "I want you to fuck my cunt so badly. I need you to punish my throbbing pussy now," a sly smile appeared across your lips, "Please, sir?" You batted your doe eyes at him.

It seemed he couldn't get his pants off fast enough. Practically shredding the top half of his wardrobe off, he then swiftly climbed on top of you. Ripping your top and bra low enough, exposing your perky breasts and erect nipples, he just took a moment to admire their beauty before shoving his face in between their valley and softly twisting their peaks. Licking his way to the top of one, he sucked on it, fully allowing himself to bask in your beauty. He did so all while jostling your skirt up to your waist, leaving your most private areas completely bare.

You were just getting accostomed to his mouth when a sudden pain made you yelp. Law was holding your dainty nipple between his teeth and flicking the top bit with his tongue. Smirking up at you, he lunged himself forward, now towering over you. The tip of his cock twitched as it patiently waited to enter.

He leaned into a kiss and you hungrily plunged your tongue into his mouth, not even noticing a hand reaching over and behind your head. Your neck was forced back down, causing your breaths to be uneven. "This seems to have been loosened." Nipping at your nose he pulled away again, "That's better."

As he was repositioning his hips, you anxiously awaited the sensation you'd been chasing all this time. However, you couldn't have anticipated the sheer shock of him penetrating so agressively. Swirls of pleasure were muddled with pain, leaving only the restraints for you to brace yourself. Inspite of the twinges of pain being plundered into you, your wetness was fully coating Law's thighs.

The grip of the leather around your soft throat was harshly rubbing it. However, the uncomfortable pressure left your mouth parted and your eyes fluttered. Your body was tensing up, preparing you for climax. Your moans were growing louder and your hands struggled to find the much needed support from their leather confinements.

He was gracious enough to fuck you through your first orgasm of the day. It would've been far too cruel to pull out right as you were crossing that finish line. Though, as soon as you finished, he pulled out, leaving your body feeling like a hollow mess - aching to be filled once more. You whined in confusion, since you couldn't really see what he was planning for you.

You then felt the straps around your ankles fall off completely and his strong hands placed them on his shoulders. Before you had a chance to call out to him, he muzzled you with your own panties. Repositioning himself, you ended up being bent in half with his hands on either side of your head, gripping the top corners of the table.

No warning was given. He forcefully pushed past your swollen folds, granting him more dominance over your spasming slit. Your cries were still audible, but he loved hearing them being stifled by your dirtied lingerie. "You're such a slut, huh?" Although he was barely able to hold back his own moans, he couldn't help taunting you when you were in such a tempting state of vulnerability. "Gonna make you cum till you can't fucking see straight." With each seductive word, he showed no signs of letting up.

Tears were streaming down your temples, your hands still failing to firmly clutch to anything, your moans progressing into provacative screams, all of which were leaving Law in a state of pure ecstasy.

"Gonna stuff you full of cum, 'kay?" He'd been pumping so furiously, he could hardly speak, instead tiredly panting out to you. Nodding earnestly, you tightened around his length, encouraging him to drain his balls into you. With just a few more passionate plunges kissing your whomb, he offered every last bit of himself to you.

Catching your breaths was going to take a while. Gathering your barings was going to take even longer. The smell of sweat, bodily fluids, and musk surrounded the two of you and was far from dissipating, since the aroma of lust still had yet to be lifted.

Looking at your tear stained face, Law swept aside the dampened hair on your temple and kissed you with the first gentle one all day.

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haven-of-dusk · 1 month

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An interesting result of the...Buck/Tommy situation? Tevan situation? I personally don't love that ship name because it makes Tommy sound like a cute add on to Evan as a full name (which feels indicative of how their relationship has been written so far as well, but I digress). Back to the point, the Tevan discussion has revealed who is a Buddie fan/stan, and who is a Buck fan/stan who shipped Buddie.

And this isn't solely talking about the weird twitter people saying Eddie should die or be written out somehow so Buck and Tommy can adopt Christopher as their own, because that's a whole different level of wtf.

What I'm also referring to is a subset who say they only want Buck to be happy, essentially trying to say Tevan is fine if Buck is happy, but then when asked don't have an answer as to what Eddie's happy ending would be in that timeline. The utterance that maybe he could just settle down with Marisol, which I have seen, made me physically cringe at how little understanding it displays of Eddie's arc, the important parts of his character, and how fundamentally wrong it would feel to give Buck a whole self-discovery and self-actualization arc and then turn around to make Eddie's "happy ending" a random girl with which he has no chemistry, and his relationship with her actively undermines his arc up till now.

Like I get wanting Buck to be happy, that's valid, but it demonstrates how much of a Buddie vs just Buck stan one is if they're willing to disregard Eddie's ending entirely just because Buck would get a happy one. Eddie is not Buck's love interest, and part of what makes Buddie so meaningful to so many is that it's two well-developed characters whose arcs intertwine in an engaging way. If you truly love and ship Buddie, I'd be very surprised if you didn't love both of them as individuals. That's not to say you can't have one you prefer (mine is Eddie, if I haven't made that obvious before), but a casual disregard for the other makes proported love for the ship feel disingenuous.

And don't misunderstand, if the shoe was on the other foot and we were witnessing the Eddie/Tommy story right now, I'm sure there's be some alleged Buddie fans ready to toss Buck aside in favor of Eddie's happy ending. I would speculate it wouldn't be as numerous, because Buck is generally the more popular character, but I'm sure it would still happen.

I hope some part of that made sense. I just really do love both Eddie and Buck, and seeing people claim to love their ship and subsequently toss Eddie aside and disregard him deserving a happy ending as much as Buck does makes me...upset.

And to you magical people who are mutli-shipping Tevan and Buddie at the same time and coming up with alternative timeline happy endings for everyone regardless of how the triangle of sorts plays out, I salute you. I don't think my brain could handle that, but I respect that you can.

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 abc #buddie #tevan #tommy kinard #Eddie and Buck BOTH deserve love and happiness

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halsteadlover · 10 months

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Shadows From The Past

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by anon: I don’t really know if this is how you make a request if it’s not correct me but would you possibly be able to write one where Jay has an episode because of a criminal that took tours in Afghanistan as well, like an episode in the show in season 5 I think. Where the criminal gets shot and dies and J is the only one there and you go to check up on him and he points gun at you because he’s having an episode idk I really don’t know, but could it end in him apologizing a lot and feeling really bad then just cuddles?? Thank u and uh if you see this could you pls just remind me when it’s done possibly. Thank you so much!!!❤️

• Warnings: mention of blood, gun, PTSD.

• Word count: 5825.

• A/N: hi everyone! Long time no see. I know this is ugly af but I tried my best. I hope you’ll like this piece anyway, please let me know what you think. Comment, like, reblog if you want this would be amazing! Thank you so much for your support, and for everyone who stayed even if I upload once every 100 years 😭 I love you all so much ❤️

Jay had always tried to do his job the best he could, giving everything in his power to every case he worked on, always trying to focus on nothing but bringing justice to the poor victims. He had always tried to be as objective as possible, leaving emotions out and thinking and planning every move to make lucidly. Some cases were easier, others a little less.

There were moments of his life, some shadows of his past, that still echoed in his present. They sometimes came back so strong and overbearing, they made him risk his present, all his progress and happiness, even his future.

And the case he was working on was one of those moments.

Following the discovery of a man's body, Intelligence was assigned to investigate this case. After questioning witnesses, analyzing the victim's life, talking to family and friends, suspicion fell on a person Jay met while serving overseas in Afghanistan. In fact, Don Stanton had served in the 3rd Battalion of the 75th Ranger Regiment at the same time as Jay, but he had never had the opportunity to speak in depth with him.

In fact, after returning home, Don didn't do too well, soon spiraling into drug, alcohol and illegal dealings.

From the moment they found out about this suspect, Jay felt something stir inside him, though he didn't know exactly what. He tried to disguise it or he would’ve estranged from the case but he couldn't hide his feelings from you, who knew him like the back of your hand and had learned to know every single nuance of him and recognize when something bothered him.

To try to get Don to confess, Jay offered to go undercover, build a relationship with him in a way that would make him trust him, and no one could be perfect for this role except someone who had gone through the exact same shit during the war as Jay.

It goes without saying that you didn’t agree with this decision at all and Voight would’ve even agreed with you if this wasn’t the only lead you got to catch the killer.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked Jay as you adjusted his hidden microphone in his shirt. “You can always back out, someone else will go or we will find other leads to catch him.”

Jay sighed. “It's an undercover operation like any other Y/N, if anyone can do it it's me.”

You looked up at him, your hands still on his chest as you tried to analyze his expression on his face. “No baby, it's not an operation like any other. The suspect served in your own battalion, you met him and you can tell from a mile away you're upset about…-”

“Goddamn Y/N stop it! You've been asking me if I'm okay since this morning! I'm fine, I don't need a babysitter!” he snapped raising his voice and this sudden outburst made you withdraw your hands in shock.

Jay immediately regretted those words the instant he said them. He noticed the sad expression that appeared on your features and felt guilty like few other times in his life. “Baby… Shit…” he sighed again, running his hands over his face in frustration. He cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I don't know what has gotten into me. I’m sorry baby.”

You remained silent for a few seconds, looking at him for a moment before speaking. “Jay I'm just worried about you, I know it's hard for you but I want to help you… It breaks my heart seeing you like this,” you mumbled softly, your throat tight in a knot, your heart heavy.

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry love. Come here,” he whispered, pulling you into a hug and holding you with all the love he could. “It'll be okay. I can do it. You don't know what people like him are like, like me, he won't trust anyone and if there's someone who can make him confess it’s me. We served together, we saw the same crap, I can understand him,” he continued, pulling away from the hug and looking into your eyes.

You looked at him intensely, as if you wanted to read inside him, trying to discover a shred of hesitation or uncertainty.

“Jay, you are not like him, he is an alleged murderer, drug addict and alcoholic, you are a decorated detective. Don't even think for a second you're like him, okay?”.

He caressed your hair, and then nodded, smiling slightly. “I know, I know.”

“If something, anything, goes wrong you're out, you understand me?” you threatened him, pointing a finger at his chest.

He chuckled, caressing your cheeks. “Yes ma'am. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

If only he believed it too.

The truth was, Jay's mind was racing and image after image, memory after memory, everything seemed to be resurfacing, moments of the past he wanted to forget at all costs but which was about to overwhelm him like a river in flood.

He didn't want to talk to you about it, he knew he'd get over it – just like he had all time – he didn't want to worry you any more than you already were.

While he was in the car waiting for Don Stanton to show up, he read the message you sent and a small smile crept onto his lips.

From Baby D💕, 3.13pm

Be careful love. I'm here for whatever you need. I love you.

That message made the abyss in his heart grow and a feeling of guilt took over him. But the way he loved you, God, he didn’t know what he would’ve done without you.

From Jay, 3:16pm

I love you too babe, more than anything and everyone. Everything will be okay.

He put the cell phone back in his trouser pocket, trying to concentrate exclusively on the case. He sat in the car for about ten minutes before seeing Don in the distance. He looked around suspiciously before approaching Jay's car and quickly getting in.

“Drive,” Don ordered, and Jay gave him a confused look.

“Where? What is going on?”.

Don snapped his eyes at Jay. “Didn't you say you wanted a job? Drive then. Go straight, at the first crossroads turn left, I'll tell you from there where to go next.”

Jay understood there was no way to get an explanation and after letting out a sigh, he started driving, aware that you and the rest of the team would’ve followed him from afar.

After driving for about twenty minutes, he and Don arrived at an abandoned building. It looked shabby and it must’ve been unused for at least twenty years.

“What the hell is going on Stanton?” Jay asked, for the umpteenth time. Don stopped in his footsteps, turning to him, looking annoyed and angry.

“What part of ‘I'll explain in a moment’ you don’t understand?”.

“I won’t do anything until you explain to me what hell is going on. This place is clearly a mile away from legality and I'm not risking my ass for whatever bullshit is going on here. So either tell me what's going on or I'm out.”

Don sighed, glancing between Jay and the building, looking uncertain, even almost frightened. Jay noticed this and realized whatever was going on, they weren't alone and that there was nothing good about that abandoned building.

He approached Jay, walking fast and hands in his trouser pockets. “Then leave.”

“C'mon man talk to me...”.

“Damn it! I'm in deep shit man, I can't back out!” he exclaimed in despair.

“Why? What did you do?”.

They were all at the edge of their chairs as they listened through Jay's microphone conversation, knowing that a little nudge was enough to get Don Stanton to confess.

“Don, talk to me. I can help you, I know you're not doing well, I totally understand. You don't have to do anything, whatever it is...”

“You can't help me… I… I fucking killed a man!” Stanton exclaimed loudly, running his hands through his hair “But it wasn't my fault! They forced me! I… I really needed the money…”

There were some moments of silence in which you and Voight exchanged a look. He confessed, but why didn't Jay arrest him?

“What are we going to do here Don?” Jay asked, trying to stay calm as his heart was pounding.

“They gave me another job. A gang member… They want me to kill him and they’ll pay me almost ten thousand dollars.”

“Don, for fucks sale! No life is worth this money! How can you do this? You were a fucking soldier, you risked your life to protect others, to protect this country and now you're the one hurting people!” Jay exclaimed, more angrily than he would’ve liked.

“I know! I know! They've foreclosed on my house… I'm out of money… I need it man…” Don muttered.

“Halstead what are you waiting for? Handcuff him,” Voight ordered over his mic but Jay didn't seem to listen, in fact, he didn't even seem to be on this planet anymore.

You were worried sick, your stomach was in a vice. You knew Jay couldn't do this, he was too involved to be able to deal with all of this, to deal with his past.

“Voight we have to do something,” you said, turning to your now impatient boss.

“Let's just wait few seconds.”

But when you saw Jay enter the building your heart stopped for an instant and fear took over. Before Voight could say anything, you leapt out of the car at lightning speed, waiting for no one, thinking of no one but Jay.

You pulled out your gun from your holster before entering the abandoned building. It was larger than it appeared externally and at first sight there was no sign of Jay.

Your heart was beating so hard you could hear it pounding in your ears and with every step you took, fear ate you more and more. What the hell was he thinking? Why did he come in here alone with a criminal?

As you climbed the creaking stairs to the first floor, a shot rang out from the walls and you jumped. “Oh my god,” you murmured in a trembling voice before starting to run as fast as possible towards the place where the shot came from. Your mind began to project images of Jay lying in a pool of his own blood, dying, and the very thought made you die inside.

God let him be okay, please.

Once you climbed to the third floor, however, you saw him in the distance but before you could take a step towards him or even take a sigh of relief, a bullet was fired in your direction, forcing you to take cover behind a pillar.

A gun fight with some men ensued, and though you knew you had to focus on saving your own life, you couldn't help but glance at Jay from time to time, noticing him hunched over Don Stanton, trying to revive him.

The rest of the squad arrived at that moment and you managed to take down three men who were shooting at you. You approached Jay while the others explored the rest of the building for anything suspect.

“Jay,” you called but he didn't seem to hear you as he tried to stop Stanton's bleeding, “Jay,” you called him out again but still nothing, no answer. So you placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to make him aware of your presence but that touch made him stiffen and you almost had a heart attack when he pulled out his gun and turned, pointing it at you.

“Woah!” you exclaimed loudly, spontaneously raising your hands to let him know you were unarmed, “Jay, what the hell are you doing?!”.

His gaze was fixed on you but he wasn't really looking at you, his eyes were empty, without the light that characterizes them, his forehead was wet with sweat as his chest rose and fell quickly as if he had run a marathon.

“Jay put that gun down. It's just me. Can you hear me? Everything is fine.”

You continued to speak but your voice reached far into his ears which continued to ring incessantly. You didn't dare take a wrong step, or try to get him to put down his gun because you knew Jay wasn't there right now, that his mind was unconscious and his body uncontrollable. He was still in war and he saw you like an enemy and not his girlfriend.

But that didn't make the moment any less scary.

Jay, the person you most trusted in the world, with whom you felt safest, was pointing a gun at you and anything could trigger him to shoot you. You've never felt so small and helpless, even after facing the most dangerous and depraved criminals, you felt so scared and intimidated.

He'd had similar episodes, where the PTSD made him lose touch with reality, but he'd never come to that, never pointing a gun at you and threatening to hurt you.

“Jay!” you almost screamed and only then did Jay seem to come to his senses.

When he realized he was pointing his gun at you a wave of guilt fully overwhelmed him and he dropped the gun from his hands in disbelief at what he had just done.

What the hell had he been up to? Was he really point a gun at you? The love of his life?

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe he was capable of doing such a thing and as he watched your face contorted in an expression of pure fear and terror, as he watched you back away until you ran away, he realized he seriously needed help.

The case was finally closed but never like then it left you an unbridgeable abyss inside you.

Since you'd left that building you'd been trying to avoid Jay even though he'd been trying hard to talk to you. You knew it wasn't his fault, that what happened was just a consequence of everything he'd been through, that knowingly he wouldn't do anything that could hurt you.

But that episode had shocked you more than you could ever admit and the image of that gun pointed at you continued to haunt your mind.

You were at your house, sitting on the couch staring at nothing in particular, contemplating whether to respond to Jay's many texts and calls. You knew you had to talk to him, you couldn't avoid him forever, but you needed some alone time first, to digest everything that had happened.

But when the bell rang you understood this was not going to happen.

You stood up and your heart skipped a beat when you saw through the peephole it was Jay. You took a deep breath and opened the door, realizing you couldn't avoid him forever and sooner or later you had to deal with the confrontation.

Jay was a walking disaster.

He didn't know what to say, what to do, how to act and especially when he noticed the way you kept avoiding his gaze, he panicked even more. You made room for him to enter and he felt his heart break when, in an attempt to say hi, you pulled back slightly.

“Uhm… Hi… Come in,” you murmured nervously before going to sit back on the sofa.

Jay closed the door behind him, walking over and sitting next to you. You brought your knees to your chest and he didn’t miss this gesture, he didn't miss the way you tried to distance yourself from him, how you tried to protect yourself by moving away from him.

“How are you feeling?” you asked feebly, finally looking up at him and a chasm opened inside you as you saw his tired, destroyed eyes, the melancholy expression on his face.

“I'm fine but...”

“No Jay,” you interrupted him “Don't start with these lies, you know I can't stand them. You pointed a damn gun at me, you are definitely not fine.”

You knew it was tough, but it was time for him to face the shadows of his past that kept haunting him, it was time for him to face reality and realize he wasn't good at all, that he kept lying to himself and pretending to be in a state of well-being which, unfortunately, wasn’t true at all.

He sighed and it was him who lowered his gaze that time, unable to look in your eyes anymore. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans before resting his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. He was silent for a moment before returning to his previous position.

“You're right…” he murmured, almost afraid to admit it aloud, “I… I'm not okay I know, I’ve realized it… But Y/N, darling, I just want you to know I would’ve never done that… I would never hurt you…”

“Jay…” you sighed “I know that, but… But what if you won't regain control of yourself next time? What if you won’t come to your senses and shoot me?”

“No! No! Fuck… This will never happen again, I swear…”

“And how do you know this, Jay?” you asked, a lump in your throat, eyes brimming with tears as you tried to hold them back. “How do you know you’ll be able to stop the next time that in the grip of a similar episode you’ll point a gun at me again?”.

Jay had never experienced a worse feeling in his life. He always promised himself he would given his life to protect you, that he’d do everything in his power to keep you safe, that he’d rather die than know you were suffering.

He loved you more than anyone else in the world, more than he ever thought he’d love someone and knowing he was the one who tried to hurt you, destroyed him. He’d never forget the expression of fear, terror and pure shock with which you looked at him in that damned building, it would’ve haunted him forever.

“I would never hurt you Y/N, you… You are the most precious thing in my life. God, I'd die to protect you…” he babbled in desperation.

“I know, Jay. I consciously know this,” you answered, putting your feet on the ground and approaching him without touching him. “I want to help you, but...”

“But what?” he whispered, his green eyes bright with tears as he looked at you. A tear slid from your eyes onto your cheek but you immediately wiped it away before you spoke again. “You want to leave me right? You are afraid of me?”.

You remained silent for a moment.

“Y/N I… You can't leave me please, I can't do this without you, I need you. You're the only person I'm still here for, helping me through this shit… Please…”

You cried. “I have to protect myself Jay,” you wiped away another tear “I don't want to leave you, God. I love you so much…”

“But you're afraid of me,” he stated, swallowing the lump in his throat. He looked down at the floor and his shoes to try and mask the tears he couldn't control anymore and streamed down his cheeks. He stood up, suddenly feeling suffocated, and ran his hands over his face as he began pacing around the living room.

“Hey…” you said, standing up and approaching him. You placed your hands on his arms to make him stop and he directed his eyes at you. They were red and shiny from tears and God only knew how much it hurt you to see him like this, how much he didn't deserve all that suffering.

You placed your hands on his face, wiping away his tears with your thumbs. “God baby,” you whispered “I hate seeing you like this…”. He hugged you, squeezing you so tight it made you gasp for breath.

You hugged him back, putting your arms around his neck and letting yourself be cradled by that embrace. You stroked his hair while he hid his face in the hollow of your neck, letting go in a desperate and liberating cry.

“It's okay love, it's okay,” you whispered, as you too were crying, “Let's sit down.”

You sat back on the sofa and you hugged him, letting him rest his head on your chest as he let out all the anger – mostly towards himself – and sadness he felt.

“Cry all you want, I'm here. I don't want to leave, I'll always be here with you Jay,” you mumbled, caressing his hair. He wrapped his arms around your chest tighter, as if he was afraid to let you go.

“I'm so sorry my love. I didn't mean to scare you… When…” he sighed “When I realized what I was doing, the way you were looking at me…” he couldn't finish the sentence, because just remembering the expression you had in that moment pushed him over the edge again “God Y/N I will never forgive myself for what I did...” he got up, sitting on the sofa and running a hand through his hair “When I saw your face… That moment I understood I seriously need some help, I don't… I can't risk hurting you, losing you, I don't want you to be afraid of me. I want to be your safe haven, I don’t want you to doubt for even a second I can intentionally hurt you… I… I don't want you to look me with that terrified and fearful look again... I can't...”

“But I'm not afraid of you Jay, I know you were going through a lot , the case was heavy to deal with…” you tried to comfort him.

“Yes you do,” he smiled at you bitterly, eyes and nose still red from crying “No lies remember? You told me before and even now…” he tried to stop crying but failing “You hugged me and you were tense and the thing is, I can't even blame you… It's only my fault for believing all the shit the war brought me could just go away on its own and I will never be able to forgive myself for how I reacted, in that building, when you were putting my mic...”

“You weren't yourself,” you whispered.

“I know… But I won’t let you to suffer the consequences of what happens to me… But on the other hand I'm too selfish to let you go, I love you too much Y/N and I know if you're not here I… I'll never be able to face this alone.”

“But I don't want you to go through this alone,” you retorted, grabbing his hand with yours and intertwining your fingers as your eyes were on his. “Jay I will never leave you… You’re my whole life and I want to be with you at every step you take, I know it will be hard, I know it isn't easy, I know there is a long way ahead but we’ll do it together. I won't leave you alone… I was just scared in that moment, let's be honest, who wouldn't, but I don't want to abandon you, okay? I just need to know you’ll really, really, try to face these ghosts.”

“Absolutely, I don't want to hurt you anymore…”

“No baby, you don't have to do it for me but for yourself,” you didn't let him finish the sentence “Because you went though what no other human being can go through and you deserve to be happy, to fully live your life, to do your job serenely, you don't deserve to wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares. You are strong, one of the strongest people I know and if there is anyone who can do it, it’s you, love, okay?” you stroked his cheek and he nodded faintly.

“Promise me you'll really try? Not for me though,” you continued as he looked at you with all the love he felt for you. “I can take it, past the fear I know it's not your fault baby, you don't control it. I can't even imagine what you're going through, what you saw over there, anyone who didn’t experience it will never be able to, but I swear Jay I… I would die to give you all the happiness you deserve.”

“You are my happiness,” he retorted and you smiled feebly when you saw him calm down a bit “Tomorrow I’ll look for someone and start doing therapy, I promise I'll do it, for you, for me, for us.”

Your smile grew on your lips. “I know you will. I'm so proud of you.”

“So you won't leave me?” he whispered so softly he almost sounded like a child intimidated by the response he’d receive.

“No baby, never, I swear. I'd take a bullet for you if it means to make you happy.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” he mumbled. He placed his hand on yours which was still on his cheek, then bringing it to his lips and leaving a kiss on the back without his eyes ever leaving yours. “I love you so much Y/N, so fucking much I can't even breathe right now. I don't know what I did to deserve you,” you smiled again “I always want to see you smile like that, God… I can't even explain what you do to me. I… I want to make you happy as much as you make me happy. I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry for everything...”

“Shh, it's okay, it's not your fault I want you to put it in this cute little head. I love you too Jay so much, more than you can ever imagine.”

You stayed on that sofa embraced for and indefinite amount of time, cradled in each other's arms. After some time you managed to get Jay to eat something before letting him take a shower, needless to say he was going to sleep over at your place.

You both got into bed and, due to the exhaustion, the intense emotions experienced that day, it didn't take long for Jay to fall asleep, his head resting on your chest as you held him and hugged him. But you couldn't sleep a wink, the events of that day still clear in your mind.

When Jay woke up in the middle of the night, it didn't take him long to realize you weren't there anymore. He sat up in bed and looked at the time on his cell phone, which read 1:32 in the morning, before getting up and walking towards the living room.

For a fraction of a second he thought he heard a sob but he thought he just imagined it. But when this sobbing sound was accompanied by a sniffling, he knew he didn’t imagine them at all.

He walked quickly to the living room and his heart skipped a beat when, in the dim light, he saw you sitting on the sofa, your knees drawn up to your chest as you cried. He turned on the lights and didn't miss the way you tried - in vain – to quickly dry your tears.

“Y/N… Baby… God, what happened? Are you hurt?” Jay asked after rushing over to you, kneeling right in front of you.

You mentally let out a curse, aware that you wouldn't be able to escape this. “I'm fine,” you replied though, hoping for a nano second he’d buy it.

“Oh baby don't lie to me, you don't cry if you're fine. Please talk to me, are you okay? What happened?” he continued to ask worried. He grabbed a handkerchief from the top of the coffee table and handed it to you, watching you intently as you blew your nose. He sat down next to you and started stroking your hair in an attempt to comfort you.

“Don't worry babe, it's okay. Nothing happened, go back to sleep you're tired.”

“How can you even think I'll leave you here alone?” he said “Wait, I'll go get you a glass of water.”

Before you could object, he was up and in less than no time he returned with a glass of cold water which you drank with pleasure. “You want another one?” he asked and after you mumbled a ‘no’ he took the empty glass from your hands and placed it on the coffee table. “Are you feeling better?”.

You nodded. “Seriously baby, I'm fine, go back to bed.”

“How about you stop lying to me and start telling me the truth? You're making me worry to death love.”

You sighed deeply, feeling the urge to cry coming back. “It's just… It's been a busy day and I needed to vent.”

Jay was silent for a moment, wiping away a single tear that slid down your cheek. “Talk to me baby, I'm here for you.”

You shook your head and then stood up. “No, there is nothing to say. Let's go to sleep, I'm getting tired too.”

“No, we're not going to sleep until you tell me what's going on,” he stood up too, looking at you with such intensity it almost took your breath away. God why did he insist so much, why didn't he just let you cry and forget everything?

“I told you Jay, I was just venting after today.”

“Yes, but it's not only that, I'm sure,” he retorted, taking a step towards you. “Baby don't you trust me? You know you can talk to me about anything, I just want to help you.”

“I-it's not that, of course I trust you.”

“Then talk to me,” he pressed, now on the verge of losing his mind “What...”.

“I don't want to bother you, you already have so much to think about.”

“Y/N I want you to listen to me very carefully now because I won't say it again,” he spoke, placing his hands on your face to force you to look at him. “There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you, and nothing, I say nothing, is more important than you. You never bother me and never will. You want me to be honest with you, to ask for help, but you have to do it too, you don't have to be afraid to tell me about something it’s bothering you.”

You started crying again and he hugged you, holding you close as he stroked your hair. “It's alright baby, I'm here. Cry all you want, let it go. I won't leave you.”

“It’s just…” you sobbed at a loss for words, letting go as a wave of guilt washed over you. You placed your hands on his bare chest as he continued to hold you.

“Y/N, please, I hate seeing you like this. What are you afraid of? Why don’t you talk to me?” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Because I feel guilty,” you answered so feebly you feared he didn’t hear you.

Jay placed two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him. “And why’s that?”.

Another sob escaped your lips and at that point you slightly moved away from him, no longer able to hold his gaze, his closeness. You ran your hands over your face and then through your hair, not quite knowing what to say.

“Because I was fucking terrified! And… And I feel guilty because I know what happened wasn't your fault, you weren’t yourself…” you sniffed as the tears continued to flow in rivers, leaving you not even a chance to talk “I know you’d never consciously do anything to hurt me but seeing you point that gun at me… Jay, I…” you sighed “I've faced criminals, murderers, but I've never been so afraid and terrified as today and for a moment I really thought you’d shoot me. The way you looked at me… God I can't get it out of my mind and I'm hating myself because it wasn't your fault…”

Jay stood there attentively listening to every single word you said as every second that passed he felt a part of himself die.

“That's why I didn't want to tell you about this, because I know you’re blaming yourself for everything and you're already going through so much Jay and I don't want to add this other burden on you...” you continued and at that point he approached you again, putting his hands on your cheeks and wiping away the tears with his thumbs as you did with him.

“Y/N…” he said your name as a little prayer “You really think I don’t know that? I know you, I know when something is bugging you, I know when something makes you feel sad. I saw the way you looked at me this whole evening, the way you were tense and I'm so sorry for putting you in this situation my baby. I hate myself so much for this, you didn’t deserve any of that,” he left a soft kiss on your forehead.

“And I love you so fucking much,” he continued “You're willing to suffer alone just to not make me worry but you don't have to. Your feelings are as valid as mine, you have to tell me when you're hurt, when you feel like crying, when you're scared even if I'm the cause. I want to listen to you and do everything in my power to fix what’s hurting you and I promise I will. We have a long way to go, you said it too, but we can't do it unless we're both honest with each other, if we don't express our fears, our apprehensions,” he said wiping away your tears as you did nothing but keep crying “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Y/N, you saved me from a chasm that I am trying hard to climb over, you are my lifeline and I want to be the same for you. I can never apologize enough for what I did today, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to put all that shit behind me. But you need to talk to me, okay? You are so fucking important to me and I'm okay if you're okay. I can't focus on anything else if I don't know you’re happy and to know that I need you to tell me everything that goes through your mind, and I will do the same… Okay baby?”.

You nodded and in response you pressed your lips onto his in a sweet, long-awaited kiss before hugging and squeezing him as if your life depended on it. He was right, God was he right about everything.

He was your everything.

Your sun, the love of your life, the reason for everything.

You were his salvation.

You were the light at the end of a dark tunnel, the first breath of fresh air after being underwater too long. You both knew that even in the most difficult moments you’ll be able to overcome everything and that you could always count on each other in joy, fear and pain.

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