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makeste · 6 months

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do you perhap have bakugou whump fic recs?

I have many such recs! not all of them are "whump" in the purest sense of the word, but they've got angst and hurt/comfort in abundance, so yeah.

I also have an older rec post from like five years ago which has quite a few Bakugou whump fics as well, so I'll link that here.

and here are like 16 new ones lol.

some quick notes:

I'm just including links and summaries here, so please make sure to check the tags for each fic if you have certain squicks or triggers you're trying to avoid!

please be aware that I am not very nitpicky about grammar and style and spelling and the like, so long as I'm feeling the characterization and general vibes. so while I can't promise that all of these fics will read like Nobel Prize-winning lit, I can say that I personally enjoyed each one enough to go back and reread more than once.

although it tends to be one of the most common tropes in Bakugou angst fics, I do not vibe with the "abusive Mitsuki" angle, so you won't find any of that in the works below. same goes for Midnight-bashing (which is also surprisingly common).

I also did not include any fics with sad endings just because I didn't feel like depressing myself today lol.

I don't think there are manga spoilers in any of these fics except one (which I noted and marked with an asterisk), but definitely check the tags just to be safe.

lastly, though I'm by no means a prude when it comes to fanfic, all of these particular fics are SFW, just FYI.

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gen Bakuwhump:

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It's Already Tomorrow on the Other Side of the World by Nicole_Silverwolf

In the absolute immediate aftermath of his rescue at Kamino, Bakugou just wants to sleep. If he sleeps then this nightmare will be over. Except he's freezing in the mid August heat. And he can't stop shaking. A glimpse of two imperfect humans trying their best told in 3.5 parts.

post-Kamino Dadzawa and Katsuki. easily one of my all-time favorite BnHA fics. it's so sad and cozy.

Coming Up for Air by achievingelysium

Katsuki has nightmares. He doesn't think he deserves the comfort, but Aizawa-sensei sits with him anyway.

more Dadzawa dealing with nighttime Kacchan angst, since that's like my #1 BnHA fic aesthetic. this is so well-written. like, there are a couple of lines in here that just... guh. just hit right to the core of me.

Bakugou's "Super Fun" Three Day Vacation by Marvelless

Bakugou and his parents arrive home after the Kamino Ward incident for some much-needed recovery time.

post-Kamino Bakufam angst. lots of paranoia and dissociation. this is one of those fics that's sort of a guilty pleasure for me, because Katsuki definitely feels a lot more... fragile?... in this than I think he would have been in canon. but he's still enough of a grump during all of his spiralling that it still feels like him. and I do love me some Bakufam wholesomeness, and this fic has got that in spades.

the art of poor judgement by emelinelou

It's a Tuesday when Bakugou admits to himself that maybe, maybe he is sorta, kinda under the weather. Things go quickly downhill from there. . Alternatively: Bakugou's too stubborn to be "sick," Midoriya and Kirishima are in over their heads, Todoroki is the Most Useful in a pinch, and Aizawa is not paid nearly enough for this.

probably my favorite sickfic. chapter two especially. Bakugou's narration in this is fucking fantastic. he's so fucking done with life. meanwhile everyone around him is freaking out, and he himself is a complete mess even though he won't acknowledge it, and it's just great. it's equal parts funny, sad, and absolutely adorable.

(incidentally, even though this fic is marked as incomplete, it really doesn't feel that way and ends at a perfectly reasonable stopping point, so don't let that put you off.)

Solar Flare by TheQueen

Three weeks after Katsuki Bakugou receives his quirk, he takes a short tumble off a bridge and watches, dumbfounded, as stupid Deku extend a hand. Don’t take it, the universe commands. Don’t tell me what to do! Katsuki snaps.

this is a really cool AU in which Baby Katsuki accidentally starts defying the universe and ignoring his predestined path, which has a profound ripple effect on his life. sort of like a time-travel fix-it, minus the time travel. also just a heads up that Bakugou is like five years old in this so I guess it's technically a kidfic. and there is plenty of angst, a little bit of whump, more Bakufam, and plenty of baby Kacchan and Deku being cute like it's their job.

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BKDK/DKBK whump:

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lose it all (with eyes wide open) by ghostwriterofthemachine

Katsuki is blinded. Izuku is muted. Both of them are kidnapped. Things get worse.

this is one of those fics that just kind of leaves you stunned at how freaking good it is. featuring: psychological mindgames, hopelessly bleak situations, and codependency so utterly raw and desperate that it broke my heart roughly 17 times.

When Ice Doesn't Float by Ma_skee

A simple rescue exercise goes south when Izuku falls through the ice and it goes from a class assinment to an actual rescue and a race against time to keep him from freezing to death.

technically this is more Dekuwhump than Kacchanwhump (though we do get a bit of the latter toward the end), but I'd argue that few things could possibly stress Katsuki out more than being in a tense survival situation in which Deku is hurt and needs help. anyway so yeah. this is classic hurt/comfort and very good.

spinning out of control by mollE

Katsuki joins the 'I've Been Mind Controlled' Club. He wishes he hadn't.

please see above re: how all Dekuwhump scenarios are secretly Kacchanwhump scenarios in disguise. anyway so basically a mind-controlled Bakugou beats the shit out of Deku while being fully aware of it the entire time, and has a complete (and understandable) emotional breakdown afterwards.

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing by maxisnotokay

Izuku has had this thing about him that Katsuki has never been able to name, but he's been chasing it since he learned how to run. It takes a catastrophic building collapse during their third year and a severe concussion for him to realize what it is. Aizawa loses ten years off his life. When does he not.

gotta love a good building collapse fic. this one has a concussed Katsuki, a very worried Izuku, and the usual "thanks to this intimate life-or-death situation, I have belatedly realized some fundamental truths about the nature of our relationship" tropes. but it's good. a lot of really good banter and back-and-forth dialogue in this one too.

takes one to know one by Sour_Idealist

Deku has left UA. Ochako still looks for him in unguarded moments. Bakugo is, unsurprisingly, being a jerk.

some good emotional hurt/comfort post-Jakku. Ochako has a chat with Bakugou about Deku. specifically, Bakugou's feelings toward Deku. it's good shit.

*fear is the heart of love by nikkiRA

*please be advised this fic contains major manga spoilers!!

Bakugou gets hit by a quirk that amplifies his greatest fear for 24 hours.

losing Deku. the thing that scares him the most is losing Deku. this is a good fic. emotional hurt/comfort for days. though once again do keep in mind that there are a couple of major spoilers in this.

silence is what i do best by notreally

the one where both Izuku and Katsuki were hit with a truth serum sort of quirk, and things aren't going all too well.

not just a truth-telling quirk, but a truth-compulsion quirk, to the extent that (spoiler alert) the quirk causes them physical pain and distress if they don't speak the truth. which, as you can imagine, leads to all sorts of extremely vulnerable conversations and a lot of good h/c.

close by not quite by blossomshed

When Bakugou goes after a beacon during a class-wide rescue op, he doesn't expect to find Deku - or to find himself dealing with the fallout of a gift he doesn't want, and a side of himself he'd never bothered to examine. He deals with it nonetheless.

this fic is so dear to me. it's yet another "Deku transfers OFA to Bakugou fic", but it's just so fucking good. and it also features a (very much confused) ace Bakugou, which is such a rare find. there are lines from this fic which I still think about constantly. it's funny and profound and adorable and so wonderfully IC, please go read it.

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BONUS NON-ANGSTY FICS because I just felt like ending this list with some happy stories where Kacchan gets a lot of love:

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give me compliments (i said give me compliments) by wonhaebunny

“It’s just cute,” Ashido is telling them as she walks into the classroom. “Like, when you compliment someone and they get flustered so easily, don’t you think it’s endearing?” Kaminari blinks. “Like Bakugou?” he asks slowly. - 1-a realises that katsuki is really, really bad at receiving compliments. exposure therapy ensues.

he is bad at accepting compliments. this is a very, very cute fic.

The Friendship Ladder by nikkiRA

Bakugou and Kirishima tell their classmates they're dating, but everyone seems more interested in who gets to claim the newly vacated spot of Bakugou’s best friend.

as the summary implies this is technically KRBK, but the focus here is very much class 1-A as a whole. there's just something about seeing the entirety of the class squabbling over their Kacchan love that tickles me to no end. Deku is also fantastic in this lmao.

The Yoshida Trail by WinterSwallow

Mitsuki Bakugo returns with her gift to the mountain.

last but not least we have this gorgeous character study with a criminally low view count. Mitsuki climbs Mt. Fuji with an eight-year-old Katsuki in tow, as the fic explores his childhood and young adulthood through a series of vignettes. the insights in this really have no business being as profound as they are, given that they're voiced from the perspective of one of the most graceless characters in the series as she observes her equally graceless son through all the ups and downs and tumbles of his life. but somehow that just makes the whole thing even better. idk I just really love this a lot.

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anyway that's it for now. hope at least a few of these are enjoyable. thanks for the ask!

#bakugou katsuki #bakudeku #bkdk #fic recs #bnha fic recs #bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha

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doyouknowthischaracter · 4 months

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RANDOM ASKS GRAB BAG

Putting a bunch of answered asks in one post so I don't spam your dashes too much. Under the cut because it's a very long post. If your ask isn't here, don't worry! The ask box is far from empty, and I'm sorta trying to group them by topic. Enjoy?

Anonymous asked: you mentioned in another ask that there were a few things you were probably going to check out from doing these polls and I was just curious which ones those are, if you don't mind sharing fjdjsj

I don't mind sharing! I had to go through the archive to remember which ones I wanted to check out, but a few of them would be The Walten Files, Red vs. Blue, The Murderbot Diaries, I Am In Eskew, and The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity, and Mortality. Many of the characters posted here look interesting, but I'm such a slow watcher/player/reader/etc. that it'd take me decades to go through everything lol

Anonymous asked: Have you considered doing like uhhh idk how to explain properly, but statistics/data from loads of polls in a summary every so often? I've seen some poll blogs do a most known/least known type bar graph every so often. And I would be super interested in seeing this sort of thing for this blog!! It's fair enough if not though, obviously this would create a lot of extra work for you. Anyway, thanks for running this blog :-) Anonymous asked: I just asked a question about seeing the data statistics/ bar graphs - please ignore it! Just reread your pinned and realised I'd missed that bit :'). BUT, last point remains, thank you for running this blog and putting up with repetitive anons I bet aksjskdjsk

I haven't put the data in a graph yet, but if I figure out how to organize that in a way that's both comprehensible and actually tells us something new, I'll give it a try for sure. Until then, we do have the spreadsheet. And no worries, I'm glad you're enjoying the blog! :)

Anonymous asked: *sees a poll blog* "I must answer each and every poll I can"

Godspeed on your journey and remember to stay hydrated! 🫡

Anonymous asked: this is my favorite blog! Every morning I wake up and check the polls like they're the paper, just to say "I don't know them" Truely a humbling experience!

Happy to be your neighborhood paperboy!

@iceice-baeby asked: Are olyou fearing the day someone submits Solid Snake from MGS and you will choose the wrong picture Because everyone always seems to choose the wrong picture

The only difficulty will be in not using this one:

Anonymous asked: Just scrolled back through your blog up to posts from Dec 3rd and I know why those polls are closed now but I cannot describe the genuine anguish I felt seeing Mr Orange and going NO I KNOW HIM - I KNOW HIM!!!! Anyway I found this blog like ten minutes ago and I love it

Don't worry, he's A-OK! 👍

(Also, thanks! I appreciate your dedication.)

Anonymous asked: scrolling through to catch up on the characters and knowing a whole three of them was so bizarre. im not supposed to press the yes i know them button, im supposed to do my sworn duty and vote no with unending confusion. the world has been flipped on its head 😵‍💫

I bet the next 30 were characters you've never heard of, just for balance to be restored.

Anonymous asked: Whenever i misclick I feel sooooo bad like im sorry my dear friend for not recognizing you I apologize for my rudeness

No polls so far ended with only one vote difference between answers, so you don't have to feel too bad. For now. 👀

Anonymous asked: this is fun cause i’ve definitely submitted some characters but i’ve immediately forgotten who. so i’ll also be pleasantly surprised to see my beloveds on the blog.

A gift from you to you, courtesy of unreliable memory! Sweet!

Anonymous asked: Devastating. I keep missing the voting for the only characters I know.

You'll do it one day, I believe in you!!

@iceice-baeby asked: Would you consider writing in the tags if YOU know a character or not You have done it sometimes before, but I'd be curious if you do recognise some of those random niche as all hell blorbos Also I can't wait for my Blorbos turn. Because either He-and-she is gonna take most obscure place, OR I will actually find maybe more than two people, myself included, who know him-and-her and who I can ramble at for hours until they block me

Oh yeah, for sure. I didn't think anyone would be interested to know, but I can do that when I remember to!

Did your blorbo show up already?

Anonymous asked: I have been having the opposite problem of everyone else, apparently. I'll see a name and be like, "I don't know who that is". But then I see the picture and realize… Yes I do!

That's why I take the time to include fitting pictures, helps jog the memory!

Anonymous asked: I feel very superior every time I know a character most people don't

Hey, nobody likes a show-off. (<- Joking)

Anonymous asked: Wait, has Beetlejuice not been submitted?? I could've sworn I submitted the musical version! Anonymous asked: Oh wait no I didn't submit musical Beetlejuice to you, got you mixed up with @/every-character-ever-poll lol my bad

Indeed he hasn't been submitted yet, maybe next time!

@thetisming asked: sorry for saying something negative in the replies to a post someone was being a dick about jukebox musicals

No worries, but don't let it get to you. People are allowed to dislike your favorite things even without any good reason. It's a matter of taste, which is highly subjective. It's more constructive to focus your attention on people who do enjoy the same things as you!

@autism-criminal asked: What is your favorite color of the rainbow (red orange yellow green blue indigo purple) ?

Orange! 🍊 What's yours? :)

Anonymous asked: "data is not accurate" bro if ur going to a tumblr poll blog for accurate data you NEED to reassess some things asdfghjkl; anyway this blog is great thank you for running it it's a lot of fun and has resulted in some very funny interactions between me and my fiance. notably "what the fuck do you MEAN 6% of the sans undertale website doesn't know who sans undertale is" and "i'm sorry i simply don't believe that ANYONE doesn't know who DRACULA is"

Different people come here with different expectations, I suppose. Which is fine, I don't mind, but they're bound to be disappointed if they expect 100% accuracy all the time. But anyway! I'm happy to hear I can provide a new form of enrichment for you and your fiancé!

@sweetpollyolliver asked: So many manga and anime characters and I know like 1% of them 😭

I'm ngl, I'm not a big manga/anime connoisseur either, so I'm just as lost as you most of the time lol 🤝 (<- shaking hands in solidarity)

@cringelordofchaos asked: If I go insane one day I am going to try to make an English translation for Mesec Boje Purpura so everyone can know who veštica Noks is

I'm fully behind you! Keep us updated if you do.

Anonymous asked: I scroll through your blog. I don’t recognise any of these characters. ‘No,’ I click, ‘no,’ ‘no,’ ‘no.’ I am content in the darkness of the rock I live under. But, alas, all things must end. I continue my scroll, the glee of the irrelevant rampant in my veins. But what’s this? It can’t be… My shelter is cruelly ripped away and the brutal light of knowledge seeks me out like a bloodhound, it gives me no place to hide. ‘Yes,’ I sob, defeated, ‘Yes, I do know the jjba character.’

A modern-day Greek tragedy, truly 💔

Anonymous asked: was really surprised to vote and see that a character was 100% know them. then I noticed I got there early enough to be the only vote

For one shining, brilliant moment they were 100% known and surely that counts for something.

Anonymous asked: You should make up a character and make a poll for them and see how many people lie or misclick

Well....... I'm not going to comment on that. 🐰

Anonymous asked: I follow this blog and another blog that does smash or pass and occassionally I will come to one of your posts and examine the images to decide and then remember this blog's gimmick before trying to hit smash

Imagine voting smash there and then coming here to vote "I don't know them at all" on the same character. Brutal.

@ink7blot asked: *sees big naturals* I hate that. *reblogs*

A job well done, then 😌

#dyktc chatter #asks #not a poll #anonymous #iceice-baeby #thetisming #autism-criminal #sweetpollyolliver #cringelordofchaos #ink7blot #phew that was a lot

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lgbtlunaverse · 9 months

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I think i need to explain why this line makes me go so feral

I think the "fine! I'll kill myself after I kill you" line from nie mingjue in chapter 49 permanently altered my brain chemistry and it has something to do with precisely how i got into the mdzs fandom space in the first place.

I've mentioned it a few times but i started watching the untamed in late 2019 right as it was blowing up everywhere and, likely due to a combination of undiagnosed adhd wrecking my ability to be interested in anything for longer than 4 seconds and me very much not being used to the specific style of acting, especially during fightscenes, i never finished it. The only concrete memory i have of it is seeing wen qing's face and meng ziyi completely short circuiting my little gay brain. I remember more of staring endlessly at pictures of her than I remember of the plot. Press F to pay respects.

Flash forward a few years and a friend recommends me a fic writer for an fma fic (the fic riter in question is metisket) and i like their stlye so much i decide to read other stuf they've written. Here we get to our prime suspect: "the one body problem" a genuinely hilarious fic where jingyi gets posessed by wei wuxian like a year before the plot happens and they become awkward brain buddies. 10/10 i loved it (and still do) even though i remember huasiang showing up in my first reading and I, having fully forgotten his name, had no fucking clue what was going on. (Little did i know...)

Anyway flash forward ANOTHER year and I decide to reread that fic, and then the other untamed fic metisket wrote, a wen qing time travel fix it that's also real fun. And then i'm like. huh. that's fun. wonder if there's anything in their bookmarks.

And then, within 20 days, I had read approximately 350 fics. Many of them 100k+ words. I cannot stress enough how much this CONSUMED my brain's ability to do or think about anything else. I now think back to the early days of getting my adhd diagnosis and insisted that while i had pretty much all other symptoms, I did not get hyperfixations. Lol. Lmao, even.

I am mainly focused on wangxian and the junior quartet becuase they are my baby ducklings and i love them. I do come across some 3zun fics and I think huh... this is interesting. But the 3zun brainrot is LIGHT at this point.

The thing about reading more than 350 fanfics is that at some point you kind of piece the plot of the source material back together backwards. Especially because my favorite genre was time travel fix its, where characters relive the whole plot and like to make allusions to all the ways everything went wrong last time.

Because I'm still squarely in my wangxian + juniors (plus a heavy dosis of yunmeng sibling reconciliation) corner here... the feelings on jin guangyao in my fandom corner are. different from where I'd end up soon after. He is my special little guy though, so I do kind of immediatley develop a fondness for him, and I approach my 3zun and early nieyao thoughts specifcially from the assumption that the widespread opinion is that nie mingjue is a fine good guy and jgy is the evil one (I have not seen the bad nmj takes yet. well... I am seeing DIFFERENT bad nmj takes but they're nice to him. In, like, the wrong way. With no solid undertanding of the inherent tragedy at the heart of him that makes him so blorbo to me. But still.) major reactions to the stairs scene as I see them on twitter are "girlboss! He should've kicked him harder 💅"

And the baby jgy apologist in me goes :/ me no likey. And at this point I am also actively seeking out metas and analysis posts so i'm seeing some better opinions than that and getting a halfway solid graps on the themes. wwx and jgy being foils becomes very obvious to me very quickly. So, with my curent understanding of the plot, I go... you know all you people who are like "god i wish nmj would have killed jgy sooner" it uhh... kinda sounds like he'd have died if he did that. If he'd killed him before meng yao had gone off to spy there is a very big chance they'd have lost the sunshot campaign and most of the main cast would be dead. If he'd killed him at the stairs that's... well that's killing your sworn brother, which by the canon's own admission is a universally reviled crime, and jin guangshan could easily take advantage of this by demanding nmj's head in retribution, since he already wanted to get rid of him anyway. He doesn't give a fuck about a-yao of course but he could pretend well enough that he does. And what leg would nmj have to stand on? The jin clan is canonically both willing and able to slaughter entire clans for the murder or attempted murder of the leader or his family, and nie mingjue is the kinda guy who'd immediately offer himself up if it meant the rest of his clan would be spared.

This combined with jin guangyao specifcally dying for his murder of nie mingjue, with huaisang basically not caring much about everything else he does and wanting to get revenge only for his brother, it gives nieyao a sort of mutual doomed soulmates feel. For either of them, killing the other would spell death for themselves. They either both die or they both live, one cannot live on without the order. That's crunchy. I like it.

The fire palace though? well, on meng yao's part there is a real argument that if he'd let nmj get killed immediatly instead of dragging it out he wouldn't have been able to get wrh alone and distracted enough to assasinate him, so that's one half of the mutual doom coin, and if nmj had killed him during their fight there he's also done for. But after? Right before Xichen intervenes? I had no answer for that yet.

(You know what's coming. I did not)

It is at this point that i realize that if this is gonna keep being A Thing then i need to read the source material before I catch fatal fanon poisoning. Yes, I can piece together the plot and themes from seeing what stays consistent across fics and what are the author's own opinons. But I know just as well that sometimes fanon just agrees on shit that didn't happen and treats it like canon, and I have no way of knowing which is which. So I start reading the novel.

And of course, eventually I get to the empathy sequence. And remember, my "nieyao both live or both die" theory is heavy on my mind at this point, and the only stickler is that nmj could sort of have killed meng yao after the confrontation with wrh, still believing meng yao was actually working for him, and not a spy, and get off... not scott-free, Xichen won't be happy, but it's not gonna cost him his life.

And then I read THIS.

Please Imagine dropping a whole block of pure elemental sodium into water. Except the sodium is this quote and the water is my poor little delicate brain. Not only is my theory right, it is ten times more unhinged than i thought it was.

And considering that Nie Mingjue does not seem like the kind of guy who'd consider something like a life debt to have an expiration date, and because after this he will link himself legally and socially to jin guangyao as family and declare that one among their brotherhood turning against the others is to be met with a painful death, I can no longer read the scene at the stairscase in jinlintai without the impression that he is still planning to die afterwards. Which, if you wanted to make that scene even more painful, this is a very efficient way of losing all your remaining hinges.

I think I'd have gone crazy about this line no matter what context I heard it in, but this one specifically? where I'm already obsessed with idea of nieyao's deaths being connected by the narrative and missing just this one piece and having it confirmed? out loud? from one of the characters himself? It's like giving cocaine to a baby.

#mdzs #fandom #jin guangyao #meng yao #nie mingjue #nieyao #? sorta #this was months ago and i have long since worked my way through the whole novel #plus rereading empathy approximately 14 more times #funnily enough the fics that initially got me interested in 3zun don't gell so well with my reading of them anymore #still very well written and i can reread them happily but it's still kind of ironic #it is what i wanted i suppose. Making sure you don't fall for fanon means fanon sometimes becomes less enjoyable #also @helesia if you're reading this yes YOU are the friend and yes that means this is YOUR fault #i'm billing you for my next therapy appointment #not meta not a headcanon but a secret 3rd thing (unorganized rambling)

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kimbap-r0ll · 11 months

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Could I possibly request scenarios where the dorm leaders (separately)are in love with reader but unfortunately she’s already dating someone. The twist being that the person reader’s dating is like Heimdall from God of War Ragnarok. If you’ve never seen it before, basically Heimdall is the god of foresight and he can see the future and read minds. He’s also rude, arrogant, cruel to others, especially outsiders. But despite this, he’s extremely loyal and respectful to those he genuinely cares about. (In this case the person he cares about is reader-)

I imagine maybe they overhear Grim asking reader what she sees in such a jerk but she just smiles and responds by telling Grim that her partner has a hard time making friends since to he is only able to see the worst on people due to his mind-reading abilities. And that reader was the first person that genuinely cared about his well being. And that’s why he fell in love with reader. (Yeah it’s a female reader with a male lover-)

As I’m rereading this I’m realizing how demanding and weird this is- Sorry😞

Hi, thank you for the ask! It's alright, honestly the more creative the asks are the more I have fun writing for them so no worries. Sadly I haven't seen God of War Ragnarok so I'll try my best with the prompt.

Dorm leaders with a reader who is already in an unexpected relationship (Heimdall from God of War Ragnarok)

Riddle

He's similar to Grim, thinking that someone as sweet as you doesn't seem right to be next to someone like, well, so arrogant. Sure opposites can attract but it's so unexpected

He won't really stop you from dating him, it's not his business anyways. However, he may tell you that if you ever need help he's still there to help

Honestly he's really chill with the whole thing, he might curse himself a bit for falling for someone so easily without realizing they were already in a relationship, but he won't show it to you

Leona

Similar to Riddle except he's a bit more direct about his suspicions around your bf (who could be toxic???)

Leona might approach you and Grim when he overhears, though he won't say he was eavesdropping. He might just say "hey, what are you two up to?" and then ask if you have been feeling alright. If he senses that you don't seem to be hiding anything from him, he won't say anything

There may be some light teasing from Ruggie to Leona because the hyena probably knew about Leona's crush on you. However Leona makes sure you never know about his small crush on you

Azul

He's a bit more heartbroken than the others. Of course, you already have someone who is most likely stronger than he is. He might be a bit toxic and try to woo you nonetheless haha

When he overhears your conversation with Grim, he won't talk to you directly, though he mutters to himself that you might be too naive. Azul's just stubborn

He won't let you know about his crush, though you may hear some jests from Jade and Floyd about Azul's feelings for you. But the dorm leader will stay silent, teling the tweels to stop spewing nonsense, when in reality Azul was a bit upset about the news

Kalim

He might be surprised, but that doesn't mean he doesn't approve of your relationship. He might be the best at handling the situation since he would fully support your decision, no matter how heartbroken he may be that his crush didn't really go anywhere

Overhearing Grim and your conversation, he nods and just tries to mind his business. However, if it seems like Grim is arguing, Kalim might approach you two and tell Grim "no it's y/n's decision don't worry about it"

You won't suspect a thing about his feelings for you. He's so good at hiding it, however you might still catch him staring at you in class

Vil

He's more upset with you than himself. He's a bit on the vain side, thinking he can't do much wrong. However, for you, he thinks that you might be too naive and not know the potential harm in dating someone like your Heimdall-esque bf

He won't tell you how he feels, but expect to get some cold stares every now and then either to your bf or you.

Grim's conversation doesn't get interrupted either, mainly because Vil doesn't see the point in arguing. However, he's a bit relieved that at least you seem to be happy

Idia

His self-esteem lowkey plummets for a few days. He had a crush on you, and that felt like a silly dream. So, to calm down he might just lock himself in his room and watch som romcom animes for a few days :/

He won't argue with Grim or you, he'll try his best to support you if you need anything. In fact, Idia's still happy that you are happy, to him seeing you smile from a distance is enough

Ortho might have asked you about your relationship once, but you won't know it's because of Idia's crush on you haha

Malleus

Goes over it quickly. He's been alive for a long time, and relationships or people go by quickly, he's not new to this concept.

However, he might be a little worried that you might be getting yourself in a toxic relationship. When he hears you and Grim talking, he listens in to make sure you're okay, but hearing how happy you are at the moment makes him relieved

He will still visit every now and then to Ramshackle, mainly to say hello and still see you smiling.

#twst #twisted wonderland #anon ask #twst imagines #twst scenarios #a bit specific on this one #twst x reader #twst headcanons #twst dorm leaders #twst riddle x reader #twst leona x reader #twst azul x reader #twst kalim x reader #twst vil x reader #twst idia x reader #twst malleus x reader

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kithj · 11 months

Text

i thought it would be fun to share what i’m reading for pride :-)

pageboy by elliot page

i have been a lifelong fan of elliot page, one of my first celebrity crushes (alongside anna paquin in xmen) & if you’ve ever watched any of his other work like gaycation or there’s something in the water, you know he is very articulate & deliberate with his words & that definitely translates into his writing as well. i’m about halfway through and really enjoying it, his writing is again very deliberate and snappy, and i like how he reflects on the history of where he grew up and interweaves it with his childhood & present day. one of my favorite passages so far is when he's reminiscing about playing pretend as a boy:

"Those were some of the best times of my life, traveling to another dimension where I was... me. And not just a boy but a man, a man who could fall in love and be loved back. Why do we lose that ability? To create a whole world? A bunk bed was a kingdom, I was a boy."

stone butch blues by leslie feinberg

i’ve read this collection many years ago as a teen/early 20s and it’s actually been really hard for me to reread. i got through the first 3 chapters and had to set it aside because it was really affecting me. maybe because i’m older… anyways, not sure if i’m going to finish this reread since i don’t really think i’m in the right headspace to handle it. however there’s a lot of Leslie Feinberg’s writing available online, i’ve shared some previously and you can find them here :-) sbb is also available for free on hir website, and i do still recommend it, just be aware of the content before you start reading.

honorable mentions follow because i haven't gotten the books in the mail yet 😭

miss major speaks by miss major griffin-gracy

this book just came out this past month, and i'm waiting for my copy to arrive. i'll just share the description here:

Miss Major Griffin-Gracy is a veteran of the infamous Stonewall Riots, a former sex worker, and a transgender elder and activist who has survived Bellevue psychiatric hospital, Attica Prison, the HIV/AIDS crisis and a world that white supremacy has built. She has shared tips with other sex workers in the nascent drag ball scene of the late 1960s, and helped found one of America’s first needle exchange clinics from the back of her van. Miss Major Speaks is both document of her brilliant life–told with intimacy, warmth and an undeniable levity-and a roadmap for the challenges black, brown, queer and trans youth will face on the path to liberation today.

you can donate to miss major's fundly here

the persistent desire: a femme-butch reader edited by joan nestle

i've read some of the essays in this anthology previously, but i have a really hard time reading the scanned pages on my laptop (hurts my head) so i bit the bullet and ordered my own copy from a used bookstore. it was suspiciously cheap compared to where i've seen it elsewhere, so fingers crossed it's the real deal. i'm excited because the shop noted that it had previous wear & potential writing in the margins from the previous owner and i look forward to seeing the thoughts of the person before me :-)

i really like reading older lesbian literature, though it makes me sad sometimes that a lot of the lesbian bar culture no longer exists. i wish i could go back and talk to some of the women and butches that lived through it.

hijab butch blues by lamya h

this is next on my to-read list, i think i might jump over to this one since i've set sbb aside for now. i'll just paste the description again:

When fourteen-year-old Lamya H realizes she has a crush on her teacher—her female teacher—she covers up her attraction, an attraction she can’t yet name, by playing up her roles as overachiever and class clown. Born in South Asia, she moved to the Middle East at a young age and has spent years feeling out of place, like her own desires and dreams don’t matter, and it’s easier to hide in plain sight.

To disappear. But one day in Quran class, she reads a passage about Maryam that changes everything: when Maryam learned that she was pregnant, she insisted no man had touched her. Could Maryam, uninterested in men, be . . . like Lamya?

i'm excited to read this one and get my own copy eventually. a lot of the butch literature i've read has been from white butches (primarily leslie feinberg & ivan coyote) & i look forward to reading a new perspective. kitty tsui is also another butch whose work i really like, she has an essay in the persistent desire and i know that one has made the rounds on tumblr before.

anyways just felt like sharing ! i haven't been able to do anything for pride this year so i'm trying to fill the void a bit with reading a lot of gay/lesbian literature. hope you all are having a safe and happy pride :-)

#personal

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ceilidho · 3 months

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I absolutely adore all of your works, I have read every single one of them because the way you write is just so out of this world, i go back and i just reread them all of them time and I honestly, from the bottom of my heart, hope that one day you really do go pro and get published because I know that you would absolutely EAT dude.

The way I found you was through your Ghost house cleaner to live in girlfriend au (this was right before you were getting into your Desire Paths, at least I think it was a around then, sometimes my memory is fuzzy so i can’t always trust it, it might have been before that but watching you develop your stories before and since then has always been so fun and interesting) and I went to reread it because today had just sucked and all i want to do is live in a cabin in the woods but by the water (that was so specific and unrelated, sorry)

ANYWAYS i went back to read it again since it had been a long while and yeah man!! Service industry sucks, i would quit in a heartbeat to clean if the pay was good and the guy was barely there! And ghost is just so…well, ghost so it’s funny and a lil anxiety inducing too see cracks of him just be like ‘‘ah. You. alright. Stay.” because the way you’ve written him has always given the vibe of ‘if you go, i will follow’

I don’t know. I just really love your work and this little throwback fic made me happy after a shit day and I just wanted to share, and also this is NOT trying to push you to write for more of it, I just really wanted to tell you.

And if I’m wrong about the vibe of Ghost, i’m sorry, sometimes I can’t explain what I mean very well and it comes out strange lol

Hope you’re having a good day!

😭😭 this was so nice to read, thank you so much!!!! i promise if i ever write something that isn't fanfiction, you'll be the first to know lmao i absolutely won't be able to shut up about it, i promise. i'm soooo bad at keeping my mouth shut.

ahhhh my live in house cleaner au is still one of my faves and i will return to it one day when i can think of a fun plot for it. in the meantime, i promise i'll keep feeding you with other Ghost aus because the list on my phone is endless and i'll never truly be able to hit the bottom.

you have my personal interpretation of Ghost down pat though.

thank you so much again, this was so sweet :)) i did have a nice day!! just came back from a movie with friends and excited to go to sleep so i can wake up tomorrow for my spin class !!!

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femmefighter · 19 days

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I'll be greedy and ask 2, 6, 17 and 18 for the Fic Writer Asks 😘

Alright, I'm loving @btwxsixesandsevens 's idea of using these as a 'writing warm-up', so let's see how this goes!

2. Do you read/reread your own fics? Yes, very much so. It sounds conceited perhaps, but when I started my WIP, there was next to no Sokabine content whatsoever. So I literally went, "stuff it, I'll do it myself". I'm writing the story/stories I want to read, so yes I reread my own work. It's also great to come across horrible spelling or grammar mistakes and be like, "SHIIIIIIIIT" *RACES FOR EDIT BUTTON*. 🤣

6. Are there many fics you reread all the time? You bet there are! I especially read WIPs over and over, either when a new chapter is up to double-check what was going before moving on with the story, or just because I'm loving where the author is going with the piece; I love cheering them on with comments and I want to keep reliving it and wonder where the adventure's going next. I don't reread the completed multi-fics so much (but I do sometimes!), but I do love rereading some one shots! (I feel less guilty doing so coz they're shorter!)

And since we're here, might as well do some special shout outs: WIPs: Heart of a leader, soul of a rebel by @halepo ; Crimson Dusk, Cerulean Dawn by @loevawrites ; Splintered Realities by @calyxborealis and Dreams and Madness by CarboniteCass Multi-chaptered fics: chaos, yet harmony by rain_sleet_snow ; Rid'alor by albedobrave

One-shots: what strange dreams have we shared by October_sky ; In Her Mouth an Amethyst by @ambiguityisnoonesfriend ; Love So Alike by @tatooinesun2121 ; Ka'rta Ve'vut by @kanskje-kaffe and never know what to say (but you get it anyway) by lostresidentevilpotter

Decadent smut fics for dessert: Mesh'la by @machinerismsx ; ni kar'tayli gar darasuum (i will know you forever) by @augustfiction and pretty much anything written by @armoralor but especially Homecoming, Built to Wreck and Here & Now

17. What's something you learned about while doing research for a fic? Well, my favourite concept (from Legends) was about Togruta blushing through the darkening of the stripes on their montrals and lekku! So the fact that Ahsoka blushes blue just makes me 😍 But I think the most interesting thing I've discovered is Operation Cinder, the world-killing revenge mission for Imperial remnants after the Emperor dies - and even though I haven't found anything to confirm it yet, I reckon Mandalore was victim to this operation. 18. What's one of your favourite lines you've written in a fic? Ugh, that's a hard one. The title of my WIP, Reach Out and Feel Me, is probably my favourite line to slip in. Maybe that's a cop-out. Fine, lemme think... Alright. A paragraph from Ch 18 of RO&FM, Sabine talking to Ahsoka: "The person I wanted to learn how to wield a lightsaber from I thought was dead. I resented Kanan because he wasn’t you, and I was horrible because of it.” ~~~ I dunno, I love that whole chapter of the first time Sabine has a lesson with Ahsoka in lightsaber sparring.

Well that was fun! Sorry for the avalanche. Guess I'm well warmed up now! Thanks for the ask 😘

#ao3 author #ao3 writer #ask game #ask me anything #ask away #answered #reach out universe

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littlefoxwithadagger · 4 months

Text

Zee's 2023 Reads

Stats:

Books read ˋ°•*⁀➷ 62

Books DNFed ˋ°•*⁀➷ 9

Five-star reads ˋ°•*⁀➷ 23

Note: ☆ counts as a half star, since there isn’t a half star emoji

I tried not to tag any books I didn’t like because I don’t like to hate on books in their fandom tags, so if I accidentally tagged something I have a bad review, please tell me 😭

This list is chaos and I defintely ripped into some of these books because I hated them. Be warned. (I’m sorry ACOTAR fans. Maybe don’t read this if that’s your favorite book series. I didn’t hate them, but I certainly had quite a few criticisms.)

Also, if you see the reviews start to get way longer in October, that’s because I started this post in October, so everything I read after that was reviewed immediately after reading.

↳ March (2)

Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard

March 3rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I read this by request of my aunt (it's her favorite book series) and honestly it was just kinda boring and not my taste...not to mention the ending REALLY pissed me off. The whole powers thing was kinda cool, but the dystopian main plot was kind of generic? Which is fine, but this was kind of bland for a first book. Will not be finishing the series.

Glass Sword - Victoria Aveyard

March 10th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

This is the sequel to Red Queen, and frankly I think I read about three chapters of it before I DNFed. The main reason I DNFed this was because of the ending of the first book. I won’t go into detail about it because it spoils the end of the first book, but after my favorite character was taken away from me, I couldn’t finish this series.

Overall, I think this series had great potential but bad execution. I may try to read it again in the new year just to give the entire series a proper, full review, but at the time that I read this, I wasn’t into reading much at all and therefore couldn’t read a book just to say I’d read it.

↳ May (7)

Les Misérables - Victor Hugo

May 5th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

By far my favorite classic thanks to my mom encouraging me to read it. Loads of beautiful prose and a compelling plot line. I especially liked how he wove a bunch of stories that seemed not at all connected into one. Jean Valjean was a very complicated character, and I enjoyed following his story as it progressed. It felt very full-circle, even if the ending was a bit sad. The author took us all over France, and I felt very immersed in the world even though there was no visual for it. I also appreciated seeing the side characters grow over the length of the story. There were quite a few side characters who got a full arc despite not needing it. I'll probably reread this someday, just not now.

Flip the Script - Lyla Lee

May 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is a cute sapphic love story between two teenage actresses starring together in a Korean drama. Fun fact - I didn't realize it was sapphic for a good while and was confused why sexuality was a hot topic in the book. Whoops! Cute anyways, and the plotline kept me interested.

The Selection - Kiera Cass

May 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This was my first reread of the year! I read this book back in 2021 originally by request of a friend. Rereading it was a bit of a let-down. I found the main girl annoying at times and overall the plot just kinda felt...meh. I will say that I was a bit disappointed that Maxon was the main guy at first because I really loved Aspen, but I think Maxon grew on me quite a bit more towards the end of this book. It was also easier for me to love him on the reread because I’d followed the full story already, so I think I appreciated his character more on this read than I did on the first read. I'm also not huge into dystopian, so that did kill my enjoyment of this a bit.

The Elite - Kiera Cass

May 27th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To continue my Selection reread, I read this. This book was better than the first one, though some of it was just very boring if I'm remembering correctly. It was nice to have a smaller group of girls and get to see them getting to know each other better, and this alone made the book more enjoyable than the last. I think the political tension upped a bit in this book, which I didn’t really like, but it did lead to quite a few great scenes between America and Maxon.

The One - Kiera Cass

May 28th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To complete the Selection reread, I read this. This was by far the best book in the trilogy. It was fun and full of action, and Maxon and America finally got themselves together. There was a great love confession from Maxon at the very end which will forever have my heart. Five stars just for making me swoon honestly. There were a few things that frustrated me in this book, such as the fact that America and Maxon still didn’t seem to trust each other for a lot of this book, but that’s their problem, not mine. I definitely enjoyed the scene where America saw Maxon’s scars for the first time. It was a very sweet scene, and I love emotional vulnerability between characters. 💔

Honorable mention - The Heir - Kiera Cass

May 29th, ⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book sucked to put it frankly. I recall enjoying it the first time I read it, but upon reread I found the main character entirely unbearable (making America look like a saint) and I think I made it about ten pages before deciding it wasn't worth the reread. I wish I didn't own this book.

The Love Hypothesis - Ali Hazelwood

May 29th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was what really got me back into reading, and I'd been wanting to read it for months after hearing about it all over the internet. I gave it four stars at the time because I cringed a bit at the number of times the main girl referred to the main guy as "big" or something of the sort but overall found it enjoyable. Honestly, I'd probably rate this lower if I re-read it, but I'm not going to bother testing that theory. It got me back into picking up books, and that's what matters.

↳ June (9)

A Court of Thorns and Roses - Sarah J. Maas

June 10th, ⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book...was disappointing. This was the first book I bought from the store without reading it first because the internet had me so convinced I'd enjoy it. I didn't. I found myself so bored I didn't bother reading past page 100 before I returned the book to the store. I don't really have much to say about it other than it was boring, honestly. Feyre also annoyed me a decent bit.

The Romantics - Leah Konen

June 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book had the same problem as ACOTAR, only far worse. This book felt like it had absolutely no substance, and I read at least half of it. The entire book was narrated by the entity of Love, and all of the characters we got introduced to were only ever surface-level. I felt like I was watching a bunch of strangers interact with each other. Perhaps it was just that young teenage romance isn’t really my cup of tea, but I found the plot entirely uninteresting.

Once Upon a Broken Heart - Stephanie Garber

June 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My babyyyyyyyyyy <3 My bread and butter, the reason I got into fantasy books. Definitely not as compelling as the second book, but compelling nonetheless. Jacks and Evangeline have insane tension and it was overall just great. I absolutely loved the whole kisses deal, though I’ll admit this book was NOT what I thought it was. When I picked it up, I was expecting Jacks to be an actual prince, and I was quite surprised to find that he was more of a demigod. Either way, it was a great book, and if you love romantacy, I’d recommend this for SURELY. (I’m biased, can’t you tell? This is a OUBAH blog, after all.)

The Ballad of Never After - Stephanie Garber

June 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'd give this book six stars if I could. This entire book was just pining and drama, and I live for it. Not to mention...the Hollow? Yes. Yes, yes yes. Everything about this book, yes. The curses in this book were completely crazy, and I felt like we got a lot more world building in this book. The entire world felt a lot more complete in this book, and we really got to start to piece together Jacks’s backstory. Lovely.

One True Loves - Elise Bryant

June 21st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm pretty sure I actually read this book last year, but it got put into my book tracker in July so I'm leaving it here. This was a cutsey little romance about a girl who goes on a cruise in Europe. I don't remember much about it, but I remember loving the two main characters and the realtionship they had with each other.

Happily Ever Afters - Elise Bryant

June 21st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Pretty sure this is the book before One True Loves? They're in the same series, I know that. This was a cutsey little book about a baker guy and a writer girl who ended up at the same high school. Absolutely loved the character growth the main character had over the course of the book.

In Order to Live - Yeonmi Park

June 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a biography written by a woman who escaped North Korea. It was truly an amazing read, and this is the one book I cried while reading this year! I would definitely recommend this to anyone because it is extremely informative while also being very immersive.

Caraval - Stephanie Garber

June 27th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Back to Stephaine Garber! Honestly, I started reading this series for Jacks, but the first book is something entirely on its own. I absolutely loved Julian and Scarlett, and I'll be rereading this again soon. The book very much immersed the reader, and I felt like I was a player in Caraval myself. There was so much fun to be had in this book, and honestly it could just be read as a stand-alone.

Legendary - Stephanie Garber

June 31st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I drove all the way to the other side of town to get this book, that's how good the first one was. This book was less enjoyable than the first, but the plot was extremely compelling. Sadly, I’m not a huge fan of Tella, so I struggled to immerse myself in this book the way I got immersed in Caraval.

↳ July (11)

(Was I ok in July? How many books is this, Zee?)

Finale - Stephanie Garber

July 1st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Jacks. That's about all I have to say about this book.

Sugar, Spice, and Can’t Play Nice - Annika Sharma

July 2nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Not sure why, but I decided to dump $16? $17? on this when I went to Barnes and Noble with a friend, so I had to finish it. There was a tad too much sexual tension and not enough romance between the main characters for my taste, but it was a good book. I especially enjoyed that the author did so much with her own culture in the book. Both of the characters learned the importance of truly connecting with someone over the course of the book, and I thought it was lovely.

The Spanish Love Deception - Elena Armas

July 2nd, ⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book was...something. I - yet again - purchased a book without reading it first. Learned my lesson this time. I have honestly no idea what this book is about because I read only fifty pages of it and there was...too much of her referring to him as "big" and "tall". I get it. He's tall and wide. Can we please discuss why you hate him? I'd love to know, really. Perhaps this book is for you if you like extreme sexualization of tall, buff men, but it’s not for me.

The Inheritance Games - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

July 6th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Queen. Puzzles and drama galore, and I love the boys. That's really all I have to say about this. I LOVE puzzles so this book was a big hit with me. Avery is a little genius and I appreciate it, and I also loved getting to see her adapt to her new life.

The Cruel Prince - Holly Black

July 9th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This read is courtesy of my bestie. She had not finished the series when she recommended it. Still hasn't. (Nani, this is a plea for you to finish it.) I don't recall much of the book, honestly, but the plot was good enough for me to rate it four and a half stars, so...?

The Wicked King - Holly Black

July 11th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

Cardan and Jude...on the couch...with- ahem. I mean what. What was this book about? Also I love the way Cardan speaks. He’s very formally-spoken and I love that for him.

The Queen of Nothing - Holly Black

July 11th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

yESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. This entire book. The ENDING??? Insane. How do I not remember any of the plot of these books besides the end of this one? We'll never know.

Skin of the Sea - Natasha Bowen

July 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book was probably pretty great. I personally found the introduction to the plot a bit dragging and it lost my interest because of this, but it sounded like it would eventually be a good and intriguing plot. I may eventually pick this back up, but currently there are other books I am actually excited to read, so for now this will be only a DNF.

These Violent Delights - Chloe Gong

July 17th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

Ahem...this was actually a great book, despite the DNF and star rating. I DNFed this book because it was too gorey, but I'm currently attempting to finish it. The writing is beautiful and the characters are very compelling. The tension between the main characters is lovely. I'm hoping to give this five stars when I finally finish it.

Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

July 18th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Delicious. A heist, six morally grey characters, lots of fighting and tension - both romantic and plot-wise. Absolutely ate up the characters' backstories. I love a good trauamtic backstory. I was reading fanfics about this book before I even finished reading it, that's how good the character building was. (Sadly I got a ton of the plot spoiled for me between this book and the next because I decided to join the online fandom before finishing the books. I will NOT make that mistake again.)

How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories - Holly Black

July 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A goofy short read about Cardan. I love him. That's it.

(Zee said no reading during birthday month apparently? Was I spending too much time being lovesick over my coworker? We'll never know.)

↳ September (6)

The Forgetting - Sharon Cameron

September 1st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book surprised me. I had no idea what it was about going into it, and I was entirely surprised. Apparently it's dystopian? Sci-fi? Who knew? (not me) Anyways, I loved the two main characters, and the plot was extremely creative. This is definitely going to be a re-read next year. Sadly, the sequel was not about this pair of characters, so I didn’t end up reading it.

Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros

September 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Well, this is a funny story. I put in a request at the library for this book in July, having about zero clue what it was about beyond dragons. I was intrigued, of course, because I LOVE dragons. By the time I got my hands on the book, I'd heard many reviews about how awful the book was. I was convinced I'd hate it, but of course, I had to read it because I waited TWO MONTHS for it. It took a few pages for me to be interested, but it was a VERY good book. I love Xaden. I will kiss him on the head. This got four stars because those smut scenes GAGGED me (and not in a good way), but I have since read worse smut, so perhaps this will be a five-star someday. The smut was truly something, though. I sat on the couch and sobbed from laughter while reading them.

The Stolen Heir - Holly Black

September 16th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was...gorey, honestly. But other than that, a great read. Both main characters are very compelling, and I adore Oak. Sweetest boy. I can't wait to read the second book. It really took us a lot farther into the world of Elfhame, and I appreciated the book for that.

Lightlark - Alex Aster

September 16th, ☆, DNF

I truly wish I could just say "No." and move on with this list, but this book was probably the worst book I've ever read. I read three pages and was so extremely confused that I couldn't continue. To confuse me that awfully in the first three pages of a book is a feat, I'll give her that. I would not recommend this book to anyone, and generally I believe that everything has an audience. I'm sorry if you're a fan of this book, but I just...can't.

Fireworks - Alice Lin

September 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cute book about a girl and her childhood best friend turned Kpop star when they finally reunite at age 18. Soooo much romantic tension, and I loved how the book dealt with mental health. I hope these two live happily ever after.

Reread - Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros

September 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Yes, I reread it a week after I read it. Sue me. It was a good book. I’ll be rereading it again when my holiday edition shows up.

↳ October (8)

Imogen, Obviously - Becky Albertalli

October 5th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is going on the list of cutesy sapphic books that make me cry. Absolutely loved the way the realtionship between the two main characters developed, and I thought it did a good job about commenting on what it means to be queer. Also, arguably the best college friend group ever in this book. I'm jealous.

When You Wish Upon a Lantern - Gloria Chao

October 6th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book was ok. It was cute, but I found it slightly boring. I will say it was very good for a first-person dual POV book, which I usually hate and refuse to read.

Assistant to the Villain - Hannah Nicole Maehrer

October 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a funny read, because I expected to hate read it, but it had me kicking and screaming, especially the ending. I was so insanely upset when I realized it was a trilogy (mostly because the ending was absolutely jarring and I didn’t expect it to end on a cliffhanger), but at the same time I'm glad this isn't the last we'll see of these characters. I love books where the villains are villains because they felt like that was all they could be. I love. Beyond all of this, I simply enjoyed to see all the characters interact with each other, and I felt like the author did a good job of humanizing all the characters. Not to mention Kingsley. He’s arguably my favorite character despite having no real lines in the book.

The Hawthorne Legacy - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

October 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Puzzles, Hawthorne boys, and...strip bowling (I forgot about this scene until a coworker told me she didn't read the book because there was stripping in it. I laughed.) Anyways I loved Jameson and Avery in this book and that's about all I have to say.

The Final Gambit - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

October 18th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ok I’m going to be completely honest this book was one huge blur and it almost felt disconnected from the rest of the series. Don’t get me wrong, it was GREAT, but it was like complete whiplash while simultaneously tying up all the loose ends we had in the last two books. Also *spoilers* but JamesonAvery endgame YAYYYYYY.

Reread - Once Upon a Broken Heart - Stephanie Garber

October 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I reread this in preparation for the third book and it took me a month to read. Idk man.

Reread - The Ballad of Never After - Stephanie Garber

October 23rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good soup. Send me to the Hollow, please.

A Curse for True Love - Stephanie Garber

October 24th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*ahem* drum roll please… 🥁🥁🥁 …LOVELY!! Evajacks kiss. This is all I wanted. Also his dimples. And Archer. And- Ok enough about that. To actually review this book, I think it was a great wrap-up of the series. The book had an amazing vibe, and I loved how the first half of the book felt shrouded in mystery since we spent the majority of the time in Evangeline’s head. I read this entire book in one five-hour sitting, completely skipping all the homework I had to do that night just so I could read this IMMEDIATELY. It was totally worth it. I also just loved seeing Jacks as the tortured man I always knew he was. Yes bby be so tortured. Now kiss.

↳ November (8)

A Court of Mist and Fury - Sarah J. Maas

November 3rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was...a book. It had potential to be a great book in the first 100 pages, but somewhere along the way it got kind of insane. Honestly, I feel like it should've been two books. It was over 600 pages and yet I found most of the scenes were a bit too short. Also, there were too many location changes, and this book is where the bad smut truly is. I couldn't even read the smut scenes...I can usually tolerate them. (Is it clear I don't like smut?). The first half of the book set up this lovely dynamic between Rhys and Feyre that I loved and showed me this new, fun world of the Night Court. I only wish that I’d enjoyed the second half of the book as much as I did the first. The second half didn’t get enough development and kind of just all ran together, which sucked. I would’ve given this four stars if the second half had had better pacing.

Honorable mention - The Queen of Nothing - Holly Black

November 8th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*cough* *cough* ahem. I reread like half this book for the scenes between Cardan and Jude…especially a specific scene in chapter 21 (if you know you know) and also the ending <3 yes queen get your ma-

Iron Flame - Rebecca Yarros

November 12th , ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(I just finished this book right before I started typing this so excuse my screaming) BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR. HANDS DOWN. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ENDING AND I LOVE YOU REBECCA YARROS. If you like fantasy, I’d recommend this book. (Also rep for the messed up joints girlies 🙏🏼) I love Xaden and Violet sm.

These Violent Delights - Chloe Gong

November 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was very good. Great prose, amazing characters, original plot. I only didn’t give it five stars because I personally felt just a bit disconnected from the story. I didn’t really feel all that stressed by the plot, though this may have been because I only had four hours to read the book. Overall, it was a great book and I’ll be reading the sequel when I have time. (Also, coming off the Iron Flame high does make this book a bit less fascinating.)

Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

November 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

After four months, I finally bring myself to finish this. A masterpiece. I didn’t want to leave this world, and yet I finally had to. The entire crew has my heart, and that ending broke me. I wanted so badly to simply not read it and make sure it didn’t happen, but here we are. Our gang all got their not-quite-happily-ever-after, and this may or may not have been the only book to make me cry ever. (That’s not true, but I can’t remember which other book I cried at. Perhaps it was my own.) Five stars. I will be returning to this duology someday to reabsorb the masterpiece that it is.

Drizzle, Dreams, and Lovestruck Things - Maya Prasad

November 22nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was pretty good. The sisters had a cute relationship and the inn was fun. The book was split into four parts - one for each sister - and personally I enjoyed the first two the best. The third one was also pretty cute, but the last one…I didn’t connect with the character as well, and her plot seemed to drag. I actually stopped reading like 3 pages before the end because the plot was basically over like 20 pages before and it was just focusing on side characters. I think I’m just not a huge fan of slice of life in book form, so if you like that, then this book is for you. I have the sequel sitting on my shelf, but I might just take it back to the library at this point.

A Court of Wings and Ruin - Sarah J. Maas

November 23rd, ⭐️⭐️

This book was way too long, to put it bluntly. I considered DNFing it a number of times, and the plot just seemed to drag on. I don’t understand what Maas has against question marks, either. I can’t tell you how many times I read a question in here that ended with a period. I’m not sure whether it was supposed to emphasize tone or what she was trying to do, but it was extremely irritating and distracting. I didn’t notice this happening in the other two books, but maybe I just missed it. The only reason I finished this book was so that I could read ACOSF with full context because I do love Cassian and Nesta, but otherwise I probably would’ve DNFed about 2/3 of the way in. The fandom wasn’t kidding when they said ACOMAF was the best book in the series. I’m only glad I finished this because of the Nessian scene we got at the end 💔 my heart cried.

A Court of Silver Flames - Sarah J. Maas

November 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

To my surprise and delight, this book has question marks!!! Yayyy!!! To start this review off, I’ll begin by saying - Sarah finally got a decent review out of me. I really enjoyed this book except for a few small details. Now, that may just be because I love Cassian and Nesta, but I consider it a win that she wrote two characters that I LOVE.

That being said, this book made me dislike Rhysand even more than I already did. I’m not sure what it is about him, but I find him a bit intolerable. I won’t dwell on this point, but I found him especially irritating in relation to the Feyre B-plot. Oof. That in combination with the ridiculous number of smut scenes made me knock this down a star. I was fine with them at first, but then it just became too much. Google says there were only 7 smut scenes in the book, but I swear there were more. This is just a personal gripe and nothing against the book or its readers, but it certainly downgraded my enjoyment of it.

Beyond that, I really loved the tension between Cassian and Nesta, and I also enjoyed seeing the two of them work through their issues. They’re extremely sweet and I love them. One thing though - Sarah, why did you tease a mating ceremony for like three pages and then we don’t even get to see it??? Miss ma’am at the very least I wanted to see Cassian being all sweet as they consummated the mating or whatever. But instead we get another scene of someone crying over Feyre’s painting??? COME ON!!! This will probably be the only time I’ll rate an SJM book over 3 stars.

↳ December (11)

The Brothers Hawthorne - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

December 2nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To start this off, I was completely thrilled to read a book about the boys. Don’t get me wrong, I love Avery, but the three youngest Hawthorne brothers have always piqued my interest more. I honestly didn’t think a book in this series could be better than the others, but there was something about this book that was even more incredible than the trilogy. This book was even better than I thought it would be. I expected to enjoy Jameson’s part of the story even more than Grayson’s part, but I actually found myself enjoying getting to know Grayson quite a bit more. (Don’t get me wrong, I loved Jameson’s part of the story, but this book made me love Gray a lot more.). I’d give this book six stars if I could. Absolutely lovely and completely compelling read, and I love all the new characters we’re introduced to. I do hope that someday we get a book about Xander and Nash, but for now, this will quench my Hawthorne thirst. I definitely have a new favorite Hawthorne though (sorry Jameson). I will kiss Gray-

The Half-Life of Love - Brianna Bourne

December 9th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Uh so to put it simply. I hated this book (in the best way possible). I don’t know why I read this. I knew how it would end from the start, but it intrigued me enough that I read it anyways!!?? Haha. I sobbed at the ending. I never want to think about this book again. I loved the characters but I hated the plot. That’s it. (I will also say this book dealt HEAVILY with death and was very heavy so. Yeah. Be warned.) Update after a week of processing: I actually loved this book a lot, but it broke my heart. I loved the character development that Flint went through over the course of the book, and it absolutely broke me that that was the end. I may change my star rating for this before I officially post this, but for now it stays at 3 for hurting me.

Fireborne - Rosaria Munda

December 16th, ⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book was…odd, to say the least. It had potential, but something about the world building felt off to me. Perhaps it’s just not my vibe. My main gripe with it has to be the characters’ names. Some of them had very modern names, some of them had very old names, and some of them only went by extremely weird nicknames. The names alone took me out of the immersion of the world, because every time I’d finally get into it, I’d read a name and go oh, yeah, this is a book. It took me about a week to decide to DNF this, but after reading so many books I genuinely enjoyed, I just couldn’t force myself to finish it.

Greymist Fair - Francesca Zappia

December 16th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This was one of my most anticipated reads of the season. I saw the cover at the library and was like oh, yeah, that’ll be a good read. I didn’t even read the summary. Turns out, I was so right. The book kind of has similar vibes to the tales of The Brothers Grimm, but oddly I didn’t find any of this story very creepy. It was dark and a bit gory, but I thoroughly enjoyed the progression of the story. I wouldn’t say this was a five-star read, but I really enjoyed this book. It’s a collection of stories about Greymist Fair that weave together very beautifully, and I absolutely love the atmosphere this book created. Come to find out after I read it, it’s classified as a horror book? I would’ve probably said it was more paranormal fiction, but alas. This was not a horror book to me. I should know, I hate horror. Would definitely recommend this book to anyone who likes morally twisted fantasy books - especially classic fae stories. This book gave me similar vibes to those.

The Matzah Ball - Jean Meltzer

December 22nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was so much fun. I think I read it in 3.5 hours. I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this, because honestly it’s one of the four Christmas (this book wasn’t technically Christmas but based on certain themes I think you could categorize it that way) books I impulsively rented from the library, but I loved it. The main girl had a chronic illness, and as someone who struggles physically myself, I really enjoyed reading about a main character going through the mental struggles of such a thing. This book gave silly Hallmark movie vibes, but it was completely enjoyable. The main guy was extremely sweet albeit a bumbling idiot, and I actually didn’t mind the major misunderstanding trope that carried this plot. I also really enjoyed reading a book that included lots of Jewish culture. It felt like home. There were a few aspects of this book I found a bit childish for a book about two people who were nearly thirty, but I guess different people enjoy different things. It was a fun, quick read if you’re looking for something with a holiday theme.

These Hollow Vows - Lexi Ryan

December 23rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

I’m not really sure why, but I started reading this in October and couldn’t get into it. A couple pages in and I was HOOKED. I love me a book about Fae realms. (At least, the original Fae. ACOTAR was too far from the source material for me to enjoy it, sadly.) This book has all the mystery and wonder of the Fae lands while being extremely simple to read and understand. I LOVED the plot progression, and the plot twists were predictable in a roundabout way where you could sort of guess them, but they still surprised you. The ending made me scream in both an angry and excited way. I totally saw the ending coming, but it still pissed me off!

I can’t wait to read the next book, but sadly I must wait until I return from vacation. I would DEFINITELY recommend this if you like fae books, especially if you enjoyed The Cruel Prince. The only reason I didn’t give this book five stars is that I felt the side characters were all a bit underdeveloped. I’m not sure if this was on purpose since the book is from the main character’s point of view, but I felt like I didn’t even know the love interests well enough to actually make a good judgement of either of them. I did, according to the ending, end up pegging both of their true characters correctly, but I still felt they were underdeveloped for how much time they spent in the book.

Honorable mention - The Queen of the Tearling - Erika Johansen

December 24rd, unrated, DNF

I tried to read this book about ten different times before I had to return it to the library, but it just isn’t my cup of tea. It didn’t capture my attention in the twenty pages I read, and I don’t think I can follow the character on her journey. It’s very sad, because I truly love a learned royalty plot, but I couldn’t do it. Perhaps I will pick it up again someday, but I don’t plan on it being anytime in the near future.

Defy the Night - Brigid Kemmerer

December 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ok, this one surprised me. I picked this book up at the library back in the summer, but I realized it was dual POV, and at that point I just couldn’t handle reading that, so I returned the book. I picked it up again on Christmas because my grandma bought me a kindle and I really wanted to try it, but the options at my library that were immediately available were limited. I’m so glad I gave it a second chance, because I loved it. This book had everything I love in a fantasy novel. There were so many twists I didn’t see coming, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. This book made me enjoy a wholly political plot, and I love that for it. Usually, I’m not a huge fan of political plots, but I loved the way this one developed. The romance was absolutely adorable as well, and it made me so happy I decided to give this book a second chance. As it stands, I will probably be reading the sequel tomorrow, and I am very excited, although I’m a bit upset the third book isn’t out until January! I was so happy to give another book five stars this month, because with how it was going, I didn’t think I would be.

Defend the Dawn - Brigid Kemmerer

December 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

Hah. This book. True to my word, I finished it the day after Defy the Night. I’ll be honest, this book was slightly disappointing after how amazing the first book was, but I’ll let it slide solely because we got to know a new and amazing character. Besides that, this book did BOUNDS of character work. We got to know more and more about our main characters, and they all learned to overcome their stubbornness in this book. One thing I really loved about this book is that we got to see more about how close the brothers are. I feel like I don’t read many books where boys are very close to each other, especially not in a royalty setting, so it was refreshing to read a book where two brothers rule the throne united instead of going to war over it.

I was a bit disappointed that they spent the majority of the book on a ship, but because of the development that happened in the ship both character-wise and plot-wise, I can’t necessarily complain. For one, we got away from Allisander in this book, and I really had no character in this book more than him (yet). I’m very excited to read the last book when it comes out, though I wish I could read it right now. This series is truly worth the hype it had when I first discovered it, and I can’t wait to see where the relationships go in the next book.

The Lost Sisters - Holly Black

December 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Truth be told, this was a whole lot shorter than I thought it would be. It was essentially a letter from Taryn to Jude about the events of the first book. I found it to be a very interesting character study, honestly, and it showed us a bit more about Cardan too. I would recommend reading this if you’ve read The Cruel Prince series.

These Twisted Bonds - Lexi Ryan

December 29th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Oh my gosh this book did more than I could’ve ever imagined it would. This book gave me all the character development the first book was lacking, and the way the plot developed was insanely amazing. I absolutely love Finn, and the way he calls Abriella Princess just absolutely melts me. The world got extremely fleshed out in this book, and I really enjoyed seeing how this author put her own twist on the world of the Fae. I also, oddly, really liked how the spice was done in this book. It was there but it mostly lacked detail and description, which is how I like my spice. I want a vague idea and nothing more! 😆 Overall, I really enjoyed this book, and it will probably be my last book of the year. I think it was a great conclusion to this year’s reading, and I’m glad I ended the year on a high note.

If you read this far, thanks for sticking around! For 2024, I will be doing monthly wrap-ups, so don’t expect another post like this…unless I decide to do a yearly wrap-up after my monthly ones are done…

If you have any recommendations to start my year off, tell me! I currently am planning on reading the Percy Jackson series, but that’s the only thing I’m really looking forward to reading

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trickstarbrave · 6 months

Text

the rough draft is finished. and it is. over 8500 words in length. jesus christ.

anyways i'll give tumblr a preview. i have to reread it a dozen times to proof read it before it goes to ao3 but

this is nerevar/voryn/almalexia. almalexia sees these two idiots pining and decides enough is enough, time to get them fucking. mostly nerevoryn for this reason; almalexia and nerevar are married and have sex but they arent really in love with each other. they do, however, have each other's backs and best interests at heart. oh and a side order of almalexia/vivec

also voryn is trans in this. because i can. i think its fun.

not really much of a plot. just pining and sex.

All things considered, Nerevar was quite happy with his marriage.

Almalexia Indoril was quite a catch, he wouldn’t deny it. Not only was she incredible in battle and a delight to spar with, she was also funny, kind, and a great person to drink with. Not to mention well…

Nerevar didn’t know if he loved her romantically. He had quite a bit of respect for her and never said no to a fun romp in the bedroom, but his heart never fluttered and raced around her. All the same, Ayem was in the exact same boat, making it clear before anything else they were political allies for life and that she didn’t care if he slept with other people or gave them his heart. And she meant it too, considering she had a whole harem to otherwise tend to her needs and had Vivec as a lover who wrote poetry about her beauty and charms and all that.

So when Almalexia asked if she could bring a third into the bedroom, Nerevar had agreed without question. It had not been the first time she’d asked, and it wouldn’t be the last. Usually it was Vivec, or someone in her harem. And, for the most part, it was usually a fun night. Ayem said it was one of her many casual flings who had agreed, but Nerevar didn’t give it much thought.

So imagine his surprise when in walked Voryn, cheeks and ears dusted red, in loose fitting robes that showed off his chest. Nerevar’s jaw was entirely slack, staring confused and equally flustered, as he quickly tried to compose himself.

While Nerevar never got the heart racing, blood pounding, butterflies in the stomach feeling of love from Ayem, he did receive it often from Voryn. If there was one person Nerevar knew he was in love with, it was the tall, handsome lord of House Dagoth. In fact, he’d been smitten long before he was king, trying unsuccessfully to flirt with subtle hints back when he was the other’s canvasari. Of course, all of his little hints had been quickly and swiftly sidestepped, Voryn not even batting an eye. Then began the phase of his crush where he wasn’t sure if Voryn was gently rejecting him, or if he simply didn’t know. Did Voryn not want to because of the power imbalance? It was possible; they were close friends who treated each other casually rather than as a lord and guard, but Voryn might be intimately aware of the power he held over Nerevar as Nerevar’s lord and didn’t want to accidentally take advantage of him or have a conflict of interest.

Then, when he was hortator, he tried again. Subtle hints, a light joke here and there, letting his hands linger on Voryn… Usually he could use these things to get someone into his bed with ease, but Voryn was the same as ever. He remained an impenetrable wall, either not noticing or caring, even as Nerevar admired his hands and played with his rings. Was that also a rejection? There was no power imbalance anymore but… Well, Voryn was very focused on the war, and maybe Nerevar should be as well. So he tabled his affections once again, unsure if he had been rejected or not.

Then, Nerevar was king. Married, though the marriage was open, a fact Voryn knew. Nerevar often recounted how many Ayem took to bed, as well as a few trysts he had as well. He’d even complain about how obnoxious Vivec and Almalexia were once they entered a proper relationship, shamelessly flirting at the dinner table, and often with poetry written by Vivec so complicated Nerevar couldn’t make any sense of it but it made Ayem swoon or laugh without fail.

And Nerevar had once again been in Kogoruhn, drinking casually with Voryn like so many times before this. Only this time he was drinking as Voryn’s equal and Resdayn was now at peace. Nerevar debated flirting once more, trying for a final time to shoot his shot. Would he be doing too much? Had Voryn in fact been trying to politely turn him down this whole time? Had he simply not noticed? Voryn didn’t strike Nerevar as the romantic type, nor had Nerevar ever seen him with any lovers. It was possible he didn’t really know how flirting usually looked…

“It’s frigid at night this time of year.” Voryn remarked, sipping his drink. “Actually, even more than previous years. The servants can’t even keep the fires stoked enough. I keep waking in the night freezing.”

Nerevar, buzzed, decided to tease. “Y’know… It’s rarely cold when you have someone to warm your bed~”

Voryn snorted at that. “And who, Moon and Star, would I take as a lover to warm my bed?” Voryn asked, making Nerevar nearly scream.

“You’re the lord of House Dagoth.” Nerevar instead replied, forcing down his screams of frustration and the urge to take Voryn by those handsome, sculpted cheeks and kiss him for all he was worth. “I’m certain plenty of people would want to. For fucks sake, plenty would kill for the chance.” Nerevar knew for certain he would after all.

“It’s easy to assume I have lovers falling into my lap due to my status,” Voryn eyed him dismissively, “And maybe that is the case for you,” Nerevar’s eyebrow twitched, as he tried very hard to keep the grip on his glass measured so he didn’t shattered it in frustration with his strength. “But you’d be mistaken.”

“I don’t just mean your status--” Nerevar corrected, his tongue loose from the alcohol. “You’re gorgeous! You’re tall, handsome—a bit terrifying, yes--but honestly that just adds to your charms.”

Voryn rolled his eyes, now leaning his cheek on his hand, swirling the alcohol in his glass. “No need to exaggerate, Neht.” Nerevar briefly wondered if Voryn didn’t own a mirror or something. How could he not see how attractive he was?! Sinfully painted red lips, long legs, a tall and imposing figure, ebony hair that fell in an elegant waterfall, a face sculpted by the gods… Nerevar could hardly control himself around the other chimer, yet here Voryn was saying he was exaggerating! Nerevar could have balked at the idea--he wished for a moment he was a poet like Vivec just so he could accurately describe what a gorgeous mer Voryn was.

“I’m not exaggerating!” Nerevar insisted, one hand banging on the table between them just enough for it to be loud. “For fucks sake, even I’d be willing to climb into your bed!”

Silence then followed, Voryn staring at him bewildered and shocked. It took a few seconds for what exactly Nerevar said to sink in, and his mouth went dry. He had no intention of going so far as to just lay his feelings out on the table so boldly, and now he was sweating anxiously. Damn alcohol made him spill more than he intended once again. But--what the hell, why not? Nerevar had already tried and failed with less direct flirting. Why not just have it all out in the open? Voryn could reject him properly then; at the very least Nerevar wouldn’t be wondering for even more years if Voryn truly knew the extent of Nerevar’s feelings or not.

So he kept his expression level, his gaze meeting Voryn’s, refusing to back down. All that was left was Voryn’s answer.

Then, Voryn’s shocked expression cracked, the corner’s of his mouth turning up, before he quickly put his head in his hands and laughed. Hysterically, at that, nearly falling over from the sheer force of laughter.

Ah, what else did Nerevar expect? His shoulders slumped at the rejection, before he forced a few chuckles out to save from the atmosphere getting awkward.

“Oh Neht,” Voryn actually wiped a tear from his eye from laughing so hard, “You are too funny.”

“Heh… Glad you think so.” Nerevar glanced away, sipping his drink. It stung like a mother fucker, of course, but it wasn’t necessarily Voryn’s fault. Voryn just found Nerevar so unattractive the idea of sleeping with him was hysterical. Okay, that made it sound worse than it actually was; likely he just thought their relationship was strictly platonic--brotherly to the point that having sex with Nerevar was just plain absurd. It wasn’t like Nerevar could demand he change his feelings and find him attractive, throw off his clothes and drag Nerevar to his bed. Maybe Voryn only liked women. Maybe he just knew Nerevar so long that the idea of romance or sex with him was awkward.

Regardless, since then Nerevar hadn’t even bothered to flirt or inquire about Voryn’s sex life. The rejection was quick and firm--Nerevar thankful when he was sober that Voryn had only laughed rather than gotten furious with him and his drunken blunder had instead ended a lifelong friendship rather than simply embarrassed him. A bruised ego was better than losing a friendship, that was certain. If Voryn found someone that made him happy then Nerevar would give them his blessing.

Nerevar just hadn’t been expecting that the person who would eventually warm Voryn’s bed years later would be his own wife.

But what was he going to do? Sure, he could kick up a fuss and say Voryn was off the table to bring into the bedroom, but, well… Voryn had gone along with it, hadn’t he? Ayem had invited Voryn, and Voryn--knowing full well Nerevar would be there--had agreed. Wouldn’t it just be awkward if he got upset and left right now? Voryn might think Nerevar had lingering feelings, or he’d be so insulted it would put a damper on their relationship. If Voryn was unbothered, shouldn’t Nerevar play along?

Nerevar gave a quick glance at Ayem who flashed him a beaming smile as though nothing was the matter. He swallowed roughly, forcing himself to put on a more casual smile.

Ayem knew she was playing with fire here, and Nerevar knew she did. She wasn’t ignorant to his feelings for the other chimer. She had made a comment that Voryn seemed to be making eyes at him while he was sparring with Vivec earlier one day, which made Nerevar now burst into laughter. He recounted exactly how he had been the one flirting with Voryn and how Voryn either ignored his passes or outright laughed him out of the room when he was more direct, so that was impossible. Maybe Voryn was just making eyes at Vivec, or a servant across the courtyard. But Voryn was not pining longingly for Nerevar, staring at him with heavy desire; if he had, that night he drunkenly confessed that he wanted to sleep with him Voryn would have taken him up on the offer.

Nerevar did mental calculations, running through every perceived slight he might have made at Ayem to make her angry enough to do this to him. Was it because he said the last poem Vivec wrote her was nonsense? Was it because he set off one of Seht’s inventions and nearly destroyed a wall in the palace? Or was it because he ripped her favorite (and very expensive dress) a few months ago?

It was cruel, he’d give her that. Honestly, he’d prefer she just poison him or make him sleep outside in the guar pen. Or both, honestly. Whatever he had done didn’t seem worth the torture of rubbing it in his face that she was fucking Voryn and he had to keep his hands to himself.

“Well,” Nerevar began, acting unphased to the best of his ability. If there was one thing he knew how to do, it was lie and play things off. “When Ayem said she wanted to bring someone in the bedroom, I hadn’t been expecting you, Voryn.” He was trying to act casual and relaxed, despite every nerve in his body being on fire and every muscle in his body tense. He was trying very hard to keep his eyes on Voryn’s face, rather than having his gaze drift down to Voryn’s exposed chest. Already he could feel a stirring in his trousers from such a tantalizing sight; normally Voryn’s body was covered in layers of heavy fabric…

Voryn looked even more flustered at that, his ears growing more red and his brows furrowed as he glanced away. “Almalexia and I have a more… Casual relationship.” Voryn admitted. “I-it’s complicated.

Fuck Voryn was cute like that, too flustered to even look at him, the flush spreading down even to his chest… Far cuter and more attractive than he had any right looking.

“He’s a bit of a shy lover.” Almalexia explained, her carefully manicured hand rubbing up and down his arm soothingly. “But he can be quite passionate when he really gets going.” The pointed look Almalexia gave him was just rubbing salt in the wound, and earned a twitch of Nerevar’s eyebrow that Voryn luckily missed. Nerevar was going to get his revenge for this stunt, mark his fucking words. The second this was over, he was going to think of ways to get back at her, so long as he could survive this experience without having a pining induced aneurysm. Why had Voryn even agreed to this? Ayem pressured him into it maybe? No, Voryn was usually too stubborn for that sort of thing. Gods, Nerevar hoped the two of them didn’t have a cuckolding fetish; Azura knew he wouldn’t be jealous Voryn was fucking Ayem but the other way around.

Regardless, he knew he was going to be losing a hell of a lot of his sanity tonight. Almalexia was doing Sheogorath’s work driving him fucking mad.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Nerevar asked, trying to be innocent. “If you’re too flustered you don’t have to go through with this.” Whatever game Almalexia was playing, he was hoping he could talk his way out of it. Voryn could confess to the fact she was blackmailing him or something and he could shoo Voryn off to his room to sex with Almalexia without Nerevar having to suffer through it the whole damn while.

“I’m fine.” Voryn quickly snapped, brows furrowed more. Ah, looks like he hit a nerve then; if Voryn was very determined, trying to talk him out of it would make him enraged.

In response, Nerevar held his hands up, laughing playfully. “Alright, alright.” Mentally though, Nerevar was swearing up a storm. He couldn’t think of any excuse to get out of this situation that wouldn’t piss both Voryn and Almalexia off, or come off like he wasn’t insulting Voryn. Instead he braced himself, mentally preparing to try and focus on his cruel, cruel wife rather than the man he was madly in love with.

“Why don’t you make yourself comfortable, Voryn?” Almalexia offered, gesturing to the bed. His movements were stiff, but he eventually moved to sit on the plush mattress, making such a sour face you would think it were a bed of nails. Off to the side Almalexia was busy undressing and getting ready, humming softly.

Normally, this was the part where Nerevar made small talk and warmed the third party (or well, multiple parties) up. He wasn’t typically shy, ready to jump in and stroke up arms, press soft kisses, whisper dirty little things in their ears. With Voryn though he had already been rejected and was terrified of crossing that boundary again. The last time Voryn had only laughed him out of the room. This time he might not be so lucky. So instead he leaned back against the pillows, equally as awkwardly, waiting for Ayem to hurry up and tell him what to do or get this started herself.

Finally bare and with a strap and harness in hand, she made her way to the bed.

“My,” She commented to Voryn, tossing the leader harness and toy onto the bed. “You don’t look very comfortable at all.” An astute observation, one Nerevar would have snorted under normal circumstances. “Here,” Ayem put one knee on the bed, almost straddling Voryn now as one of her hands went to the tie of his robes, the other slowly trailing down his chest. “Let me help you get comfortable then…”

When their lips connected, Nerevar felt sparks shoot up his spine, despite not being either person actually being kissed. There was just something about the way Voryn’s eyes fluttered shut, dark lashes against his cheeks, the soft and delighted groan muffled by Ayem’s lips… Voryn even arched up into her touch, letting her slip the robe off one shoulder, before his tongue came out to tangle with hers. Almalexia’s other hand pulled on the tie slowly, almost teasingly, until the knot came undone, before she pushed Voryn onto his back and began undressing him in full.

Azura’s fucking mercy. Nerevar felt like he could barely breathe, instead only able to give out quick pants as he watched, almost mesmerized. Ayem’s hands roamed up and down his torso, across the black hair on his chest and the trail that ran down his belly to between his legs, or occasionally letting her nails graze a nipple earning a low, delighted moan that had Nerevar’s cock twitching in delight.

It was becoming increasingly hard to pull his attention away from Voryn the more moments that passed. All the blood was flowing from his head straight to his dick, as his earlier resolve to only focus on Almalexia crumbled. She was probably doing it on purpose too--come sunrise Nerevar was going to find an excuse to go on a pilgrimage to Azura for a few weeks or months, just as a reason to get out of the palace before he did something anger he would regret.

“Oh~” Voryn gave a breathy, desperate moan as one of Almalexia’s hands slid between his legs, just out of sight of Nerevar, but he could tell from the sounds Ayem was fingering him nice and hard, the slick sound forcing Nerevar to bite his lip. He needed to do something, he resolved quickly. He needed to do something that didn’t involve staring at the sinfully gorgeous sight of Voryn laid out bare on the bed, moaning and panting because of someone else. So he quickly got up, removing his pants and underwear to finish undressing--his shirt having been discarded long before they started--and moved behind Almalexia to run a hand through her hair. She purred appreciatively, and Nerevar resisted the urge to look over her shoulder at the tantalizing elf writhing around beneath her. Instead, he closed his eyes, pressing a few kisses on her shoulder, his erection occasionally brushing against her thigh.

“What should I do?” He asked her, reminding himself to breathe.

“Lay back down on the bed, for starters.” Almalexia replied playfully.

“Mm, and let you neglect me again?” Nerevar tried to reply back equally as playfully, but it didn’t quite make the mark. He absolutely did not want to return to laying on the bed, resorted to stroking himself off while she fucked Voryn senseless. Would it be a sight sure to get him off? Absolutely. Would it make him miserable afterwards? With certainty.

Almalexia laughed at that, before reaching one hand around to swat at him. “I won’t neglect you, I promise.” She assured him. “I am just getting Voryn warmed up. I have a position in mind just for tonight, and it involves you.” Nerevar swallowed roughly at that, but reluctantly he let go and returned to the bed. If it involved him, he assumed Voryn gave the go ahead. Was she going to be nice tonight actually? Had she persuaded Voryn enough that Voryn was actually willing to have sex with Nerevar willingly? Fuck--if so he hoped he didn’t climax the second he got inside, that would ruin the whole night and embarrass him further.

After a bit of gentle prodding, Voryn moved off his back, and instead climbed on top of Nerevar, hovering over him on his hands and knees. Nerevar swallowed roughly, gripping the sheets under him for dear life. Voryn’s silky black hair was brushing against him, and his gorgeous lips were so close and yet so far away. If he didn’t hold onto the fabric under him he was certain to do something stupid, like grab Voryn and kiss him for all he was worth.

Then, with the harness on properly, Almalexia came up behind Voryn and slid inside him, Nerevar watching with eyes wide as Voryn’s face twisted in pleasure as a moan escaped his throat, rumbling in his chest and his arms trembling. Nerevar then glanced down, seeing Ayem was, in fact, fucking Voryn’s cunt. Meaning Nerevar was not going to get to fuck him like this. What was the point then of Almalexia doing it from behind on top of Nerevar then?

Nerevar grit his teeth, hissing softly as his eyes went back up to Voryn’s pleasured face. His eyes were glazed over, lips wet as moan after moan spilled from his lips, every sound reminding Nerevar just how wet Voryn was on top of him. He could practically imagine that tight, wet heat wrapped around his cock, Voryn moaning Nerevar’s name obscenely as he pounded into him for all he was worth…

Yeah, Nerevar was definitely going to need to take a pilgrimage or he was going to destroy half the palace in a fury when this was over. What horrible sin he had committed against his darling wife was currently unknown, but it certainly wasn’t fitting of the punishment. This was cruel and unusual, even for his lovely lady of mercy.

Voryn’s hands slipped and he instead balanced himself on his elbows, his face even closer to Nerevar’s. Nerevar gasped, before he bit his lip, closing his eyes. Not that it helped much, even the air tasted like Voryn, teasing him with the knowledge he couldn’t kiss him. Couldn’t touch him, not in the way he wanted to.

But wasn’t that awkward for him? Fuck, it’s not like he didn’t know Nerevar wasn’t into him after that slip of the tongue so many years ago. If Nerevar just laid there rock hard and eyes screwed shut that would make this even weirder somehow, wouldn’t it? He didn’t have to touch Voryn sexually, he assured himself. But ignoring him and acting like he wished he was anywhere but here (as much as it was true in the moment) might only offend Voryn.

Nerevar took a breath, before cracking his eyes open and reached up to brush some hair out of Voryn’s face that was sticking to his mouth. In turn, Voryn nuzzled against his hand appreciatively, his eyes shutting once more as he moaned louder.

“Mmm, harder~” Voryn’s voice was gorgeous like this, so deep and erotic Nerevar could climax just listening to him, he was certain of it.

“You’re taking it so well, Voryn.” Nerevar praised him, his voice almost breathless. Shit, was that a weird thing to say? Nerevar’s eyes darted to the dip in the middle of Voryn’s lower lip that only made it look all the more plush.

“Keep talking to me,” Voryn panted, his eyebrows drawn up. “Please…”

Nerevar was trembling hearing that, his body aching with desire. Voryn was getting off to the sound of Nerevar’s voice, that much was clear. He was getting off to Nerevar, moaning and panting at least partially from him. And with how desperate he was, that was enough to make him burn.

“You’re being so good, aren’t you?” Nerevar defaulted to what he usually said to Almalexia’s lovers in bed, still stroking his thumb against Voryn’s cheek. His other hand let go of the sheets, sliding down to instead take his own cock in hand, stroking. “I bet it feels so good too, doesn’t it?” Nerevar sure knew it did, albeit he had different anatomy. But Ayem was pretty skilled with the strap, able to move her hips perfectly to hit all the right spots, like she was no doubt doing to Voryn right now.

“Yes,” Voryn hissed, before arching his back, his chest pressed against Nerevar’s. Nerevar swore he could feel Voryn’s racing heart against his chest, but in all likelihood that was just his own heart running wild. “Oh gods, Nerevar~”

His cock twitched in delight, his head going back as he gave a long, low moan himself. He could die happily now that he heard Voryn moan his name like that, he was sure of it.

“Why don’t you tell him just how good it feels, Voryn~?” Ayem teased behind him, before grinding her hips forward. Voryn’s eyes rolled back in delight, mouth open in a sinful moan.

“It’s--it’s too good~” Voryn moaned, his head now falling forward to rest on the nook between Nerevar’s shoulder and neck. The hot breath against his sensitive skin had him hissing and groaning, stroking himself off faster. “I--I’m so full, so full, it’s so--”

“Fuck,” Nerevar moaned breathlessly, eyes screwed shut. His neck was too sensitive for this--Voryn’s lips were right there, every puff of hot air making him nearly shiver and keen with delight. This was worse than the time Ayem was edging him--a hundred times worse.

“Don’t just lay there, Neht.” Nerevar could see Almalexia smirking over Voryn’s shoulder. “Touch him.” She goaded him on, making Nerevar tense up. “I’ve got my hands full holding his hips up, but his cock is nice and hard, begging for some attention.”

Nerevar’s hand was moving on its own, as though possessed. The second she offered and Voryn didn’t correct her, his body was moving of its own accord now, leaving his cock to instead slip between Voryn’s thighs.

He was wet. By the three, he was soaked, dripping on Nerevar’s fingers as his hips rocked from the power of Almalexia’s thrusting. After being briefly stunned with the desire to throw Almalexia off Voryn and fuck him for all he was worth, his fingers slid down to rub back and forth firmly across his dick, making Voryn moan louder, rocking his hips against his hand.

“Nerevar~!” He was moaning so loudly into Nerevar’s neck, his own cock twitching with every cry of his name. “Nerevar--Neht--I need--Oh gods~!!”

“That’s it,” Nerevar praised him. “Good boy, Voryn~” Nerevar was panting himself, praying to every god he didn’t come untouched. “Fuck, you’re so hard for me, nice and hard for me, so fucking wet too~” Nerevar was just babbling now, unable to think before speaking anymore. “Azura’s mercy, I want to suck your cock so badly,” Voryn moaned louder at that, “Eat you out properly, before fucking you nice and hard until you’re screaming my name~”

Maybe, the second the passion died out and they were left awkwardly laying on the bed awkwards, he would regret saying all this. But at the moment he didn’t one bit. He couldn’t hold back in the slightest, praises and desires spilling from his mouth like a fountain.

Luckily, it seemed all his clumsy dirty talk and touching had actually made Voryn climax. Maybe it was actually Ayem doing it, but Nerevar was more than happy to imagine it was all because of him. Voryn moaned and shuddered and even teared up a little, before he slumped onto Nerevar completely.

Fuck, he wanted to be inside Voryn still. Should he wait until Voryn caught his breath to ask? Nerevar was content to wait at least a few moments, holding Voryn close, savoring the skin on skin contact as Voryn panted breathlessly, completely dazed from pleasure.

And then unluckily for Nerevar, Ayem gingerly rolled Voryn over onto his back, off of Nerevar who was enjoying their little almost-embrace. Nerevar bared his teeth, snarling in a rage at such an offense, before Almalexia straddled his chest, tugging on his hair with the strap in his face.

“Don’t growl at me you mangy little hound, or I’ll put a muzzle on you.” Normally Nerevar found such banter funny, charming, and a little bit sexy, but right now he had half a mind to throw her off him to fuck Voryn senseless. “Clean this up for me, won’t you? Then I’ll tend to your cock, Hortator.”

He eyed the toy carefully, his mouth watering slightly. It was dwarven crafted and made from ebony, specially commissioned by Almalexia--part of a larger collection she had custom made, in fact. Honestly, Nerevar thought their underground cousins would be prudes given how dry their humor and conversation was at times, but they sure surprised him when he saw how many tools of pleasure they had personally invented. Things that vibrated, constructions that could fuck you themselves, along with so much more--some of which that scared him, honestly.

But right now it was still wet from having just been inside Voryn--wet, warm, a complete mess… Now that Voryn wasn’t currently on top of him moaning, he realized he might not actually get the chance to go down on him like he wanted to. This was Almalexia’s consolation prize, he supposed.

Whatever then. Nerevar reached around, grabbing her by the ass to tug her a bit closer, listening to the high pitched sound that followed. He licked at the tip first like he was blowing someone, knowing she enjoyed the show, before sliding his tongue down the side, down to the base where it was the messiest. Gods dammit, tasting Voryn’s cunt on a piece of coated ebony should not be turning him on as much as it was. Yet, he couldn’t seem to help himself, moaning softly as he made sure to clean the toy thoroughly, savoring the taste. He was going to try his damnest to commit it to memory, knowing full well he might never get a chance for this again. And he was going to use that memory many, many times. It wouldn’t be enough to make it all up to Nerevar, but it was a start.

After it was mostly clean, just to be a showboat, he moved back up to the tip, sliding his lips down to suck. Honestly, he did like using his mouth. As Almalexia (and several others) put it, his tongue was even better in the bedroom than it was in the council chambers. Not to mention he enjoyed the weight on his tongue, bobbing his head up and down, sucking messily and obscenely just because he could.

“Good boy.” Almalexia praised him, now gripping his hair to guide his mouth off it. “I suppose I won’t have to put a muzzle on you after all~” Nerevar licked his lips, looking up at her while his cock continued to throb. Normally this was the part where Almalexia took the strap off and started riding him to make it all worthwhile now that she had her fun. And that’s what he thought was going to happen as she climbed off him, undoing the leather and tossing the harness to the side. However she then laid down beside Voryn, pulling one of Voryn’s legs up and to the side, and Nerevar felt like all the wind had been knocked out of him.

“Clean Voryn up next?” Almalexia offered, sliding another hand down to spread him open. Voryn was still slightly breathless, looking at Nerevar wantonly.

Nerevar didn’t need to be asked twice. He was quickly moving, sitting up to move Voryn’s legs up and open, tossing one over his shoulder, before diving in.

Gods dammit all, tasting Voryn directly was even better. He loved every moan and whimper and cry of his name that fell out of Voryn’s mouth as he feasted like a man starved. He lapped at his lips first, moaning, before flicking his tongue back and forth across his dick. Voryn couldn’t even squirm his hips as Nerevar held him firmly, but he did grab Nerevar by the hair, trying to pull him ever closer.

“Neht~!!” Voryn was all but screaming now as he sucked around his swollen cock, flicking his tongue against the bud. His own eyes had rolled back slightly as he let Voryn grind against his face, using Nerevar’s mouth for his own pleasure. By Mephala, the fact Voryn was doing that had his own cock twitching again, dripping precum. He wanted to be inside Voryn so fucking badly he was going insane, but he needed to make Voryn climax first. He had to, not for any logical reason, just out of pure ego. He needed to make sure Voryn was cumming at least once only because of Nerevar—and while Ayem was nice enough to have him eat Voryn out, he didn’t trust that she’d actually let him fuck Voryn with how cruel she was earlier.

He slid down slightly from Voryn’s dick until he could flick his tongue inside Voryn, groaning softly the whole while as he made sure to clean him up—or tried to, anyway. Voryn was so wet Nerevar felt like he was hardly doing anything other than getting his own face dirty. He felt like he was eating an overripe persimmon; licking and sucking, sweet nectar running down his chin as he devoured it greedily, ignoring the mess it made all over his face and hands.

Back up at his cock, Nerevar teased around it now, swirling around it with just a light enough pressure it left him begging and pleading for more. If he wasn’t so busy with his mouth he would have gloated at that, honestly. That, or dirty talked Voryn to an orgasm again--made him whimper and moan at how good Nerevar felt, made him beg Nerevar to let him cum.

Nerevar could feel every tremble with every touch, the way Voryn’s thighs quivered in pleasure as he flicked his tongue against his dick, finding a rhythm Voryn liked. The heat pressed to his lips and the smell of his arousal was intoxicating, making him lose track of all other thoughts. He forgot entirely about Almalexia in this situation, about his throne, about all the times Voryn rejected him--including the one where Voryn laughed until he cried at Nerevar’s insistence that he wanted to bed the lord of House Dagoth. Instead, it felt like all he’s ever wanted in life was to be right here, between Voryn’s legs. Right here, listening to him moan and cry and sing Nerevar’s name with that gorgeous, deep and gravelly voice of his.

“Oh gods~!” Voryn moaned, his nails digging into Nerevar’s scalp, “Neht--” He gasped, desperately trying to breathe, and Nerevar could swear Voryn was sobbing in pleasure. “I’m cumming, I’m cumming, Neht--Nerevar ple--Ah~!!” Voryn was hissing and trembling more as Nerevar focused in, purposefully trying to drive him over the edge now. He didn’t bother switching things up like he did when he was trying to let it build; he kept the pace steady, not moving any slower or faster, keeping it just right until Voryn gripped him tighter and tighter, thighs pressed to Nerevar’s ears until all he could hear was muffled moaning and his own blood pumping through his ears and--

It was a loud, drawn out scream as Voryn came, the ending being choked out with sobs. After Voryn’s orgasm washed over him, Nerevar made sure he helped him ride it out with softer, gentler movements, winding him down from the peak. Voryn’s grip on his hair went slack as he laid there, boneless and panting. Nerevar finally pulled away, a bit reluctantly, wiping his face and licking his lips as he did so to take in the most sinfully gorgeous sight he has ever seen:

Voryn was splayed out on the bed, long hair fanned out around him and no doubt starting to tangle from all the thrashing. Tears had escaped his eyes, leaving a few trails down his cheeks. His lips were wet and swollen from all the biting and moaning he had been doing, only adding to his allure further. By the three, Nerevar was surprised he didn’t come untouched just from the sight.

“Go on,” Almalexia touched his shoulder, making him jump slightly, “Touch him.” She encouraged. He was hesitant at first still, overwhelmed by the tantalizing sight, but slowly his hands moved out to touch. He was light at first, slowly trailing one hand up his thigh, the other moving up Voryn’s stomach to his chest.

“Azura’s mercy…” Nerevar breathed, his mouth feeling dry. Once again, Nerevar wishes he was a poet like Vivec; he lacked the words to describe how… Perfect Voryn looked, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes, humming softly and arching up into his touch. He wanted to memorize every inch of his skin: the dip below his ribs as his back arched, the occasional freckle or mole he found on his golden skin, the slight angular curve of his hips, the scars under his pectorals…

He didn’t want to just touch, he wanted to kiss him, trail his lips across his body, taste the salt on his skin and leave him covered in marks. He moved down slowly, still ready to be refused and told off, to place a few soft kisses on his collarbone.

“Gorgeous…” Nerevar breathed against his skin. “Fucking gorgeous…” He was Azura’s champion, but despite how sacreligious it was, right in this moment Voryn was far more beautiful than his Lady of Twilight. He was as glorious as the sun, to the point Nerevar was shocked he wasn’t blinded just by looking at him. He was dazzling, leaving Nerevar fucking awe-struck as he trailed kisses and love bites across that golden flesh, all but worshipping the perfect elf under him.

Then, Voryn wrapped a leg around Nerevar’s hips, pulling him in closer, his cock pressed against Voryn’s thigh. It twitched at the contact, dribbling more precum across his skin as Nerevar moaned low and deep in the back of his throat.

“Make love to me, Neht…” Voryn breathed against him as he wrapped his arms around Nerevar’s shoulders, and Nerevar felt his whole world spin briefly, before every logical thought entirely left his head.

He pressed a messy, desperate kiss to Voryn’s lips as he moved Voryn’s legs with haste, careful not to hurt him in the process as he maneuvered them into a proper position. Gods, how had he not kissed Voryn before now? He should have been when Voryn was on top of him, twinging their tongues together just like this, exploring Voryn’s mouth in full while he moaned and begged. He should have kissed him even before this night; he should have kissed him in the firelight on that trip back from Tear in the south, with all the stars lit up in the night sky, the moons measly slivers like a cat with it’s eyes barely cracked open. The night he realized he loved Voryn, he wanted so badly to kiss him just like this, to lay the young lord out on his bedroll and make sweet, sweet love to him under the moons and stars, whispering about how much he loved him.

“Voryn,” He whispered against the other’s lips like a prayer as he positioned himself, the wet heat kissing the head of his cock.

“Neht,” Voryn whispered back, the sweetest sound to Nerevar’s ears, as he finally slid inside.

The feeling was incomparable. His body felt like static in the best possible way, warm and fuzzy, buzzing with excitement. As cliche as it was, it felt like everything in the world fell into place the moment he slid inside Voryn, like this was where he belonged. Every moment of longing for the other chimer, every heart racing fight to the death he made it out of, every battle won and the war ended, all of it felt like it was just leading him to this; this moment where he got to have the love of his life, the man he needed more than anything. The moment he got to make love to Voryn, sweet, perfect, terrifying Voryn who held Nerevar’s heart in his hands for so many gods damn years.

“I love you,” He mumbled, clumsily. To oblivion with logical thought, let this ruin their friendship. Let this ruin his whole damn life as a matter of fact; the common folk could come marching to demand his head on a pike, his advisors could stage a coup and murder him on his throne, the troubles rain hellfire down on all of Resdayn--anything. He would suffer any punishment just for this moment, to look into Voryn’s eyes and tell him just how much he loved him while taking his body. In a way, Voryn had a right to know; it was wrong for Nerevar not to confess at this moment, not when it felt like every little thread of fate Mephala ever wove was leading him right to this moment. “I love you, Voryn~”

Voryn’s grip on him was tighter, a few tears spilling from his eyes, before he took him by the cheeks and kissed him over and over with a fervent desperation.

“I love you, Neht,” Voryn whispered back, just as Nerevar began thrusting. Oh gods, Voryn felt better than he ever imagined, and he had imagined it so many times before. So many nights as a guard he would be up pleasuring himself, then as a soldier fantasizing about the young lord’s body, and even as king. Many times he would have to sleep with someone on his quest to become hortator--for, well, political reasons--he would be imagining it was Voryn under him, taking him just like this. Yet never, in all of his sweetest fantasies, did he ever imagine it this sublime. Voryn was so wet he took every inch with ease, Nerevar’s hips unable to hold still as he marveled at the slick, wet heat enveloping him.

And Voryn loved him back. Voryn, at least at this moment, loved him. Loved Nerevar. Nerevar didn’t even care if it was a lie spilling from his lips, it was more than enough. If it was a lie, it was the most beautiful lie he ever heard, one he desperately needed to believe.

“There it is.” Almalexia laughed to the side, laying out on the bed, watching the two chimer make love with the kind of raw intensity she scarcely saw.

In all honesty, this had been her plan from the beginning. At first she thought Nerevar was the one who didn’t want a relationship; he never inquired about Voryn’s love life and acted stiff and awkward at the prospect of him ever taking a lover, side-stepping the question entirely. Meanwhile, Voryn had ended up in her bed after a night of drinking, desperate and jealous, begging to taste Nerevar on her lips and breathe in his scent on her sheets. The hate-sex had been enjoyable, at least for a time, regardless of how wrong it probably was to be fanning the flames of his desires and only making his one sided pining worse.

But then she teased Nerevar at the pointed looks Voryn had giving him, longing stares of pure, unbridled desire as Nerevar and Vivec exchanged spears shirtless and sweating in the courtyard, the unrelenting heat of the sun during the height of summer in Mournhold making the two pour sweat. She could practically hear Voryn’s thoughts, how he would kill just to swipe his tongue across her husband’s flesh, how he would destroy the entire kingdom just to pin him to the ground and ride his cock until the time itself ceased to be. It was humorous to think her darling husband was so clueless to his closest friend’s desires. And he laughed, shooting her down, but there was something broken in his laugh instead of the usual mirth. That same, agonizing longing flashed in his eyes as he dismissed her claims, saying he was surely ogling Vivec, or maybe even a servant across the courtyard. Almalexia, faithful and kind as she ever was, prodded him more, and Nerevar confessed that he was the one who was pining.

“I’ve given up though. He turned me down enough times that I’d be horrible to try again.” He admitted, drinking his sujamma a little too quickly now like he was trying to drown out his sorrows. Almalexia’s jaw went slack as she heard that; she knew for a fact Voryn would never turn down Nerevar’s advances. He was so desperate for Nerevar he was content with sloppy seconds in the thought that was the closest he would ever get to fucking Nerevar. “Whoever he takes as a lover or spouse will be one lucky bastard though, that’s all I can say.”

“When exactly did you come onto him?” She asked, confused. Nerevar glanced away, ashamed.

“I’ve been flirting with him since I was his canvasari.” He admitted, unable to meet her eyes. “Even as a soldier and hortator, I was trying. Laying on the compliments, playing with his hands, asking to see him undressed…” Another long swig followed, it clear to her now he was trying to drown his sorrows in alcohol now rather than think of how much it was killing him. “Then shortly after I took the throne. He knew our marriage was open, and I teased him about how he should find a lover to keep his bed warm if nights in Kogoruhn are too cold…” He looked far off into the distance, out the window to the stars. “And, drunken idiot I was, I told him even I would warm his bed for him if he asked.”

“And he rejected you?”

“He laughed at me.” Nerevar’s face was red hot in embarrassment. “Hysterically, in fact. Right in my face.” Almalexia winced audibly. She couldn’t imagine what a blow to Nerevar’s pride it was, to drunkenly confess after decades of pining, only to be laughed at by the man you loved. If it had been Ayem, she would have had the mer hung for such an offense. “It’s… Fine though.” Nerevar shrugged. “It’s been years. He probably just sees me as another brother of his. I’m lucky all I got was laughed at instead of something worse.”

It was clear though, something had to be done. Voryn had made a critical mistake not immediately taking him seriously and throwing Nerevar to his bed that winter night, but what was she going to do? Let the two of them pine for each other, too scared to confess? Voryn thought Nerevar would never love him so there was no point in a confession, and Nerevar had been laughed out of the room when he tried to by his idiotic advisor. It was going to take a third party to let them throw off their insecurities and realize the other wanted them just as badly.

She didn’t know how to. But Vivec, her clever lover, did.

“Have them fuck it out.” Vivec suggested, snacking on saltrice crackers while writing another poem.

“What?” She stared at him like he grew two heads. “That will never work.” How was she even going to get them in bed together? Lock them in a room naked? They’d just sit there stiff and uncomfortable, refusing for days on end lest they offend the other party. This was a serious problem, after all, not some new crush, but a lifetime of repressed feelings on both their parts.

“Yes it will.” Vivec insisted. “Find a reason to get them started, and they will be drawn to one another.” Another crunch followed as he devoured another cracker. “I’ve seen the looks they give each other when no one else is looking. Once the walls they’ve built start crumbling down, they won’t be able to control themselves.”

She didn’t think it would work, in all honesty. Even as she was arranging the little ménage à trois, she was certain she was going to be the one doing all the hard work while the two of them laid there stiff and awkwardly. By the three, even as they started she was certain that was going to be how it went, as she prodded Nerevar to actually touch the chimer writhing on top of him rather than lay there like he was going to be butchered alive.

But, like her warrior-poet said, once the walls started coming down the two couldn’t seem to help themselves. Voryn fell first, moaning and begging and pleading, though he was nervous to cross an invisible line with Nerevar he couldn’t perceive. Nerevar, meanwhile, took a lot longer to finally come around but once he did he was as ravenous as a starved nix-hound. Growling, snarling, fury in his eyes when she took Voryn from him like he could have ripped out her heart and eaten it. Honestly, she thought he might start actually fighting her, wrestling her off him just so he could fuck Voryn like an animal.

And now the two were making hot, passionate love like they were the only two people in the world, moaning and kissing, whispering confessions of love and how much they needed the other to the point it was almost dizzying. She couldn’t believe that just a few months ago the two could scarcely meet each other's eyes at a party. Now she’d be lucky if she could get Nerevar in her bed at all after this, she imagined.

With a chuckle, she left the two lovers to enjoy themselves, putting on a robe before she retreated to Vivec’s room for the evening.

When morning came, after a lengthy cuddle session with her warrior-poet curled up on her bosom, she returned to the pleasure room. Before Almalexia had even knocked she heard the sounds of moans and pleas escaping, as well as the bed creaking.

She opened the door, taking in the sight with an amused grin. Voryn was wearing one of her harnesses, pounding into Nerevar for all he was worth. And there, sprawled out under the lord of House Dagoth, was the king of Resdaynia gripping the sheets and moaning like a whore.

“Have the two of you been going at it all night?” She asked, one brow raised. Voryn glanced up at her briefly, his thrusting slowing, but all that earned him was a needy moan from the hortator who shifted his hips, trying to grind down on the strap.

“Oh--Ayem,” Voryn took one of Nerevar’s muscular thighs and pushed it up higher to get deeper inside him, resuming his thrusting as Nerevar’s voice got louder, his eyes rolling back. Voryn’s other hand was stroking the king’s cock, precum dribbling out onto his belly and smearing across Voryn’s hand. “No we--we slept,” Voryn admitted, before grinding his hips forward--and the toy directly into Nerevar’s prostate if his moans and cries were anything to go off of. “Neht just wanted me to take him this morning,” Voryn leaned down at that, closer to him to speak to him directly. “Fuck you nice and hard, right Moon and Star?”

“Yes~!!” Nerevar cried, clawing at the sheets, “Voryn!”

“Be careful, he’s as wild as an animal when he’s turned on.” Almalexia warned him with another laugh, though she was happy to see Nerevar enjoying himself so much.

“I’m aware.” Voryn huffed, breathless from how fast his hips were moving. “Wild like a bitch in heat, aren’t you Nerevar?” Almalexia whistled slightly at that; it didn’t take long at all for Voryn to learn Nerevar was into being degraded, now did it? How on Nirn they went this long without fucking was beyond her at this point.

“Yes yes yes!” Nerevar cried out enthusiastically. “Oh gods, fuck fuck fuck~! Voryn~!!”

With one last laugh, she went to shut the door. “Get cleaned up in time for lunch, you two.” They’d all missed breakfast already, and she knew how fussy Nerevar got when he was hungry. Not to mention the mess of the kitchens he’d make when he inevitably got hungry. Besides, she imagined they would need the energy for the rest of Voryn’s stay in Mournhold.

#nerevoryn #mostly them anyways #indoril nerevar #voryn dagoth #almalexia #a side order of almalexia/vivec #vivec #my writing #nerevar does not in fact destroy the palace

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