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andvys · 23 days

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Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.

Chapter eleven ⭐︎ Yeah, I know it seems surprising when there’s lipstick still on the glass

Warnings: 18+ minors don't interact! smut, oral (male receiving), mentions of the upside down, jealousy, mentions of unrequited feelings

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Your jealousy gets the best of you, and you show Steve a side he hasn't seen before.

Word count: 9.2k

Author's note: I know you're sick of me tagging you but shoutout to you for always helping ♡ @hellfire--cult

Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter ⭐︎ Next Chapter

♡

“It has to be perfect!” Lucas says from the passenger seat of your car, clapping his hands together as he glances at you with an excited smile on his face.

“It will be, you got all her favorite snacks, that alone will make her happy,” you chuckle as you keep your eyes on the road.

“You think?” Lucas asks, sounding nervous.

“I know it,” you assure him, nodding at him, “besides, why are you so nervous? You’ve been together for how long? Over a year?”

“Well, she broke up with me for a while, remember?” He mumbles, scratching the back of his neck.

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t count in my opinion, she went through a rough patch and you were always there for her, you were still… kind of together… in your hearts. She was just… hiding her true feelings and needed to be alone, she still loved you, it was a different kind of break up.”

He nods at your words, smiling to himself as he looks down, “yeah,” he whispers before he turns back to you, curiosity flashing in his eyes.

“Have you ever loved someone? I-I mean like, like I love Max?”

Your eyes soften behind your sunglasses.

The love between them is so pure, so young, yet so very real.

You get lost in your thoughts for a moment, his question repeating itself in your mind. You think about yourself at fifteen, at sixteen, at seventeen and eighteen. You are nineteen now, and the answer to his question is still the same, it will always be the same.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” He asks but not with judgment in his voice, only with pure curiosity.

You shake your head, glancing at him before you pull up into the parking lot at Family Video, next to Steve’s BMW.

Your chest flutters at the sight of his car – the car that was in your driveway all night.

The thing between you and Steve is still new, still fragile but… constant.

After you gave in and stopped the radio silence that was driving you crazy, you started seeing each other frequently – five days out of the week. You were going behind everyone’s backs, sneaking around while you kept pretending to not like each other in front of your friends. You were still Blondie and Lego Head in front of them, but behind closed doors you were both someone else.

You are not what you wish you could be, but that doesn’t matter when Steve is inches deep inside of you and you feel his lips on your skin and his hands on your body, you get to pretend while you’re in moments of bliss. And when it’s over, you get to pretend that the marks on your skin are there because he wishes you were his, even when it’s nothing but a lie.

Steve can’t keep his hands off you, he can’t stop touching you, he can’t stop kissing you, he can’t stop fucking you – something keeps pulling him back to you, something makes you irresistible to him. You know it’s only that, the sex, the lust, the secrets, nothing more. He doesn’t feel the way you do, not in the slightest, but in some way, he feels something, and that gives you peace… for now.

You keep pushing your feelings aside, not wanting to give in, not wanting them to get in the way.

“Yeah,” you mumble, leaning back in your seat after parking your car, “I’m not good with feelings.”

“Huh,” he nods, furrowing his eyebrows, “that’s funny, reminds me of a certain someone.”

You tilt your head at him as you take your sunglasses off and put them in your cup holder.

“Yeah? Who’s that?”

“Well, she’s got red hair, wears pigtails a lot and can be super mean.”

A chuckle falls from your lips.

“You’re basically the older version of Max,” he grins, “you’re both stubborn and act all cold even though you’re the biggest softies at heart.”

You roll your eyes playfully, shaking your head at him.

“All you need is your basketball star boyfriend,” he smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at you as his eyes flicker back and forth between you and Family Video.

You scoff at him, waving him off as you hide your flustered face by turning away from him and getting out of the car.

“Steve is single, you know?” He says as he gets out of the car, shutting the door and walking around it to get to you.

“Mhmm.”

And you’re glad that he is.

You place your hand on his shoulder, giving him a pointed look, “why don’t we focus on your date night with Max, King Lucas?” You ask as you start walking towards Family Video, “and we focus less on mine or Lego Head’s dating life.”

He chuckles at both nicknames, he follows you to the store, rushing towards the door, he grabs the handle and opens it before you can, bowing his head with a playful smile on his face as he gestures to you to walk in first.

“Dork,” you chuckle.

You step into the store with a smile on your face and excitement rising up in you, knowing that he is here. Your eyes instantly catch him standing behind the counter with his arms crossed, biceps on full display as he wears a black shirt beneath the green vest, his hair slicked back a little, probably from running his fingers through it all morning. A smirk tugs at his lips, and normally, it would drive you crazy and make your skin prickle, but not now.

Definitely not now.

Because the smirk, the look in his eyes that he always looks at you with, isn’t directed at you, no, it’s directed at her.

The girl you only recently found out about, the girl you hoped was long gone and away from Hawkins.

Jennifer Mitchell stands in front of Steve in all her glory, clad in a short sundress, her boobs are nearly on full display, her dark waves falling down her tanned back as she twirls the front strand around her finger, she glances back at you when the bell above the door goes off, her plump lips are the first thing you look at – god, you can’t even lie to yourself and think that she isn't gorgeous, because she is, you’re not blind.

She’s got a pretty face, curves that make her look like a goddess. She’s perfect.

A few months back, you would have swallowed down the jealousy inside of you, and you’d walk away, because there would be no point in dwelling on those thoughts in your head.

But now you have him.

And so far, you haven’t seen him flirting with other girls in front of you, you haven’t felt the need to worry about him hooking up with anyone else, even when it was there in the back of your mind, you ignored it and pretended that you were the only one.

But you aren’t, you aren’t the only one, you aren’t the special one, you aren’t enough for him.

The bitterness on your tongue is strong, just like the burning in your chest, the red and ugly flames that become brighter and brighter the longer you look between them.

The way he stands before her, so confident and cocky, the way he talks to her, the way he is so close, the way his lips are curled into a smirk.

You could throw up.

His eyes meet yours, and you instantly look away with an eye roll and a sigh, making your way into the horror movie section without bothering to greet him.

What you failed to notice was how bored he looked until he saw you, and how his eyes lit up when he took in the sight of you, the way his plastered smirk turned into a soft smile.

“Hey Steve,” Lucas greets him, waving his hand at him as he follows you.

“Hey guys,” Steve greets you both, even though you have already walked past him and turned your back to him. His shoulders slump a little, but you’re long gone to see.

Robin is stacking up tapes, humming along to the song that plays on the radio, standing with her back turned to you, she doesn’t notice you or Lucas, until the latter taps her on the shoulder, startling her a bit.

She turns around, some horror movie tape in her hand, her features relax when she sees the two of you.

“Oh, hey guys! What’s up?” She grins.

“Lucas is looking for a movie, for his date night with Max,” you say, smiling at the boy beside you.

“Aw!” Robin pouts, tilting her head as she looks at him with an adoring smile on her lips, “you two are just the cutest.”

Lucas rolls his eyes, but he can’t hide the smile that appears on his face.

“Yeah, yeah,” he waves you both off, taking a step back, “I will just… look around for the perfect movie or go bother Steve while you girls chit chat,” he mumbles before he leaves the aisle again.

Robin frowns at him, “why don’t you chit chat with us? We wanna know more about your date!”

“She can tell you all about it!” Lucas points at you, blushing already.

She chuckles at the flustered look on his face, watching as he inches away from the two of you, her eyes fall on Steve, who is still talking to Jennifer, who is now leaning over the counter, a pen in her hand and a note in front of her, she’s writing down her number, no doubt. She straightens back up, giving Steve a flirty smile – yeah, she definitely wrote down her number. She hands him the note before she turns around and makes her way out, looking over her shoulder one more time to wave at him.

You clear your throat, looking around at the tapes in front of you, “so… they’re having a movie night. We went to Big Buy’s first, he got a bunch of her favorite snacks, and then we stopped at the record store, he bought her a new album – oh, but he’s also been talking about making her a mixtape, which I think is super cute!” You ramble, not noticing that Robin’s eyes are elsewhere.

She raises her eyebrows, craning her neck a little.

Steve turns around with the note in his hand, he doesn’t even open it, he doesn’t even look twice at it, he just throws it in the trash and turns back around, running his fingers through his hair, for the millionth time today. He reaches for his magazine and continues flipping through it like nothing happened.

Robin’s jaw nearly drops at his action.

When has he ever done anything like this?

“And I thought maybe she will like a horror movie, so that Lucas can wrap his arm around her…” Your voice falters a little when you notice that she isn’t even listening. “Robs?” You mumble, waving your hand in front of her hypnotized face. You turn around and follow her gaze. Your eyes land on Steve, who is now alone again – a sight that fills you with… relief.

You turn back around, raising your eyebrows at her.

Robin seems to snap out of her stupor, shaking her head a little before her blue eyes meet yours again.

“Sorry, spaced out.”

“Because of Dingus?” You chuckle, tilting your head, “you’re not turning straight are you?” You joke, earning a slap to your shoulder from the blonde.

She gags at your words, before she starts laughing.

“Okay! So… we are looking for a horror movie for the love birds?” She asks.

You nod.

“Alright,” she smiles, nodding her head as she turns towards the tapes, looking through them with squinted eyes.

And while she is distracted, you can’t help but turn back to Steve to look at him properly, even when you can only see his back, your eyes are filled with longing, and still with jealousy.

Did she leave her number before she left?

Is he gonna take her out on a date now?

Is he gonna see her instead of you now?

Is he gonna replace you with her? – That thought leaves you with nothing but sadness, not the burning red anger that you feel when you think about him hooking up with her. As long as he comes back to you, everything will be okay, you will be okay. But, if he leaves for good, and he replaces you with someone else, the anger won’t be the feeling in control.

With a sigh, you turn away from him and look back at Robin, who reaches for some Zombie apocalypse movie that you have never even heard of before.

Lucas doesn’t seem to mind that she’s the one picking the movies out for him, once he’s got everything he needs, you both make your way over the counter, and you once again have to hide your feelings behind a confident smile as you’re forced to face him again.

“Having a movie night?” Steve asks as he grabs the tapes, taking a look at them.

His voice alone makes your stomach flutter.

“Yeah, my parents are having a date night, they won’t be home until past midnight, so… I’m having a date night with Max,” Lucas grins and places his hands on the counter.

“So you purposely picked the horror movies so you can wrap your arm around her, huh?” Steve smirks at him, before his eyes move to yours and he winks at you when Lucas looks down.

One look from him, one smile, one tiny little action and all your worries are out the window for a second. All you see is him, all you feel in your chest is the pounding of your heart that he causes every single time, he leaves goosebumps on your skin, he leaves you aching and wanting for more.

Every time you’re with him, every time he smiles at you, nothing around you no longer exists, none of your bad thoughts, none of the girls he had been with, not even the one that just stood here in your place, the one that caused you a sliver of panic.

You’re truly and utterly ruined.

Steve turns you into a lovesick puppy, you wear the pink sunglasses when you’re with him, no longer able to think straight – you are blind and unaware of absolutely everything. And it should scare you, it really should, but you don’t care, not right now, you might not ever.

Steve could do anything to you, and you’d still look at him the same.

“That was her and Robin’s idea,” Lucas murmurs, nudging your shoulder.

“Oh?” Steve raises his eyebrows, smirking at you, “well, Robin must be the expert.”

“Not me?” You ask, tilting your head at him.

“Nah,” he shakes his head as he looks down, ringing up the tapes, “you’re the type of girl that wants to be protected during horror movies.”

A laugh falls from your lips, “right.”

Lucas looks between the two of you, eyes flashing with mischief, “well, Steve, you seem like the guy to protect the girl during horror movies,” he wiggles his brows, “so, I’d say you’re the perfect match for each other.”

You expect Steve to say something slightly mean, to keep the cover up, but instead, he looks back at Lucas before his hazel eyes lock with you, and an even bigger smirk tugs at his lips, as his eyes move up and down your body teasingly.

“Yeah? I guess Blondie and I should have a little movie night then huh?”

Lucas snorts, not taking Steve’s words seriously, knowing that this would be way too easy.

But you know what Steve means by that.

“Mhmm, sure,” you nod, tilting your head at the handsome brunette.

Lucas looks between the two of you, rolling his eyes, “you guys can stop playing, I know you won’t actually do that,” he mumbles, taking your words as a joke.

He pulls out his wallet, and pays for the movies, taking the receipt as well after Steve places it on the counter.

“Maybe I’ll convince you two to spend some time alone someday though,” he grins at the both of you, not noticing the way Steve looks at you.

“Yeah, yeah,” you mumble, stepping away from the counter, “come on, buddy.”

You raise your eyebrows at Steve as you bring your hand up to your neck, where he had left a new hickey.

His eyes flash with lust and he bites his lip as he nods at you.

Excitement rushes through your body, despite what you had walked into just minutes ago, you can’t wait to see him tonight.

You flash him a smile before you leave.

Completely unaware of the storm it causes inside of him.

His eyes stay on you, even when you’re out of the store and inching closer and closer to your car. He tilts his head a little, so he can see more of you through the glass door, he watches the way your skirt bounces a little, he feels like a perv when he wonders about your panties, what color they are, if they’re lacy or not, but he can’t help it, especially when he thinks about your previous night together – how you looked beneath him, how pretty your face looked when it contorted into pleasure, how his name fell from your lips so beautifully, how your hands felt on his skin, how you clung to him as he thrusted in and out of your tight pussy.

Steve licks his lips, gripping the edges of the counter, watching as you get into your car.

His mouth waters as he thinks about devouring you, tasting you on his tongue and making you scream out in pleasure, again and again, until you’re nothing but a whimpering, shaking mess beneath his hands.

He looks at the watch around his wrist, nearly groaning in annoyance, three more hours to go.

“Hey,” Robin walks up to him, “what are you doing tonight?” She asks as she leans against the counter next to him.

He takes a look at her, finding her staring at him in pure curiosity, eyebrows pulled together as her eyes stare at him expectedly.

Fuck.

“Uh…” He murmurs, scratching the back of his neck, he tilts his head down, eyes falling on the trash can and the note he threw away. “I’m meeting… Jennifer.” He smiles, hoping that she will believe him, hoping that she will remember the time he talked about the girl a few months back.

“Oh?” Robin nudges her chin up a little, crossing her arms over her chest.

Steve nods, smiling as heat rushes up to his cheeks.

“A-And you?” He asks, hoping that she won’t ask any questions.

“Oh, nothing, maybe I’m just gonna go bother Eddie,” she shrugs, still staring at him and at the way his cheeks burn red.

Steve avoids her eyes, and that is something he only does when he is hiding something – usually it’s nothing serious, nothing big. But this is different.

He is hiding something else from her.

She knows it, she is sure of it.

He stopped looking at Nancy, he stopped talking about Heidi and Linda, he threw away a note of one of the hottest girls of Hawkins.

“Sounds great,” he mumbles, bringing his hand up to her hair, he ruffles it, chuckling at the annoyed groan that falls from her lips.

“I’ll be right back, Robs.”

He walks away from her and disappears into the hallway.

And she waits, she waits until she hears the door to the break room closing. She listens closely, biting her lip as she already looks down into the trash can, eying the note as her fingers itch for it.

The moment the door shuts, she quickly bends down, digging her hand into the trash that is luckily only filled with papers and wrappers, she reaches for the folded note and straightens back up, turning around after taking another look into the hallway, she leans her elbows on the counter, and unfolds the note.

Sure enough, Jennifer’s number is written on the white paper, under her name that is decorated with a heart on the side.

She raises her eyebrows, her lips part in surprise as she stares at it for a long time, unable to make sense of why he would do this.

Not only was she surprised to see him rejecting a girl a few days back, now he has also done… this.

Maybe… just maybe, he is sick of dates that lead to nothing and sex that has no meaning. After all, he did complain about his dislike of meaningless relationships that only consist of sex. It was fun for a while, but he got sick of it, he wanted something different, something real.

So maybe, that is why he keeps rejecting those girls and throwing away notes.

When he comes back a few minutes later, Robin acts innocent but she keeps a close eye on him, taking in the sight of his glowing eyes, the smile that keeps appearing on his lips whenever he gets lost in his thoughts, the blush that sometimes rises to his cheeks – If only she knew the reason behind it.

If only she knew that Steve wasn’t thinking about his upcoming ‘date’ with Jennifer.

If only she knew that he wasn’t rushing home after his shift because of her.

If only she knew what he was really going to be doing tonight.

If only she knew that it would be your door he would knock at.

“Missed me?” You smirk at him after you open the door, leaning against it, you don’t let him in just yet, turning your head to look at the clock in your hallway, “you’re here earlier than usual, someone’s eager to get his dick wet, huh?”

Steve huffs, lips tugging into a smile as he looks away for a moment.

“Don’t act like you haven’t been waiting for me,” he murmurs, taking a step closer to you, he puts his hand on your waist and pushes you to step back so he can walk into your house, he closes the door behind him, ready to grab your face and pull you into a deep kiss, but you seem to be having different ideas, you take another step back, letting his hand fall to his side as you turn around and make your way down the hallway instead of upstairs into your bedroom.

He furrows his eyebrows as he watches you disappear into the kitchen.

“Do you want a drink?” You call out to him.

“Uh… yeah, sure.”

Usually, you save that for later, but not today.

Steve scratches the back of his neck, looking around the empty hallway, he throws his keys on the counter and makes his way into the kitchen, almost startled by the way you push the cold beer in his hand, your fingers grazing his for a split second before you pull your hand away again, and grab another beer for yourself.

You pop the can and take a sip, eyes staring into his now.

A smirk tugs at his lips as he takes in the look of your darkened eyes, the lust that is clearly there, but there is something else tonight as well, he can’t pinpoint what it is, maybe because it’s a look he had never seen in your eyes until now.

He licks his lips as he eyes the top you’re wearing, low cut and stopping just below your belly button, showing off your cleavage and your soft skin. You replaced your skirt with shorts that are even shorter than what you wore before, but they look much more comfortable, soft and perfect to… sleep in. He can’t wait to rip them off of you and dive his face into your pussy.

He mimics your action, popping open his own can.

“So…” You start, piquing his interest.

He knew there was something, a reason as to why you didn’t pounce on him the way you usually do, the moment you open the door for him.

You start walking into the living room, and he follows.

“You talked to Jennifer today. Having a date, Stevie?” You ask, taking a look over your shoulder.

Something you’ve always been good at, was hiding your true feelings, your jealousy that you have dealt with over the years… but, hiding your jealousy is much more challenging now that you have him in some way. You try your best, you put on a brave, smug face and look at him with a smirk on your lips.

You take a seat on the couch, and he doesn’t hesitate to sit down beside you, eyes glinting with curiosity.

He doesn’t have a date, he doesn’t have one planned, and he’s not looking for one with her either. But you don’t know that, and you don’t have to know that.

There is a sliver of hope in him, that you might ask this question out of jealousy, despite the teasing tone behind your voice, he hopes that it’s that.

“Uh… I don’t know,” he mumbles as he looks down at his beer, he takes a sip, unaware of the glare that is directed at him.

“Aw, why?” You ask, tilting your head at him, “didn’t she fuck like a… goddess?”

When he looks back at you, he finds you staring intensely, the smirk still playing on your lips, though with a hint of tension, your eyes are a little squinted, if he didn’t look so closely, he would’ve missed the fire behind your eyes.

He doesn’t care about how great of a fuck she was, no one is better than you, no one appeals to him the way you do, right now, not that he would ever admit it to your face.

He wants to keep you, he wants you to keep him, he wants you to feel jealous.

“Mmm, can’t remember it that well,” he shrugs, sipping his beer, “so maybe I should refresh my memory a bit.”

You are driven by anger, by jealousy, his words make you see red, it feels as though you are in a haze, you can’t see clearly, you can’t see the look in his eyes, the teasing smirk on his lips, the smugness in his features after saying that to you.

You know he isn’t yours, you know that you’re exclusive, that he can go on dates and fuck as many other girls as he pleases, but you don’t want that.

You want to be the only one.

You want to be his only one.

The fire burns beneath your skin, the gnawing feeling in your chest wanting you to move, to do something, to prove to him that you are the only one that he needs.

You slam your beer on the coffee table, and then you reach for his, quickly placing it next to yours before you turn back to him, scooting closer to him on your knees, you grab onto his shoulders as you straddle him.

His large hands instantly reach for your hips, eyes blazing with lust as his smirk transforms into a lust filled one.

You cup his cheeks and without hesitating to, you smash your lips against his, dragging him into a rough kiss that he reciprocates right away, moaning approvingly as he finally gets what he had been craving all day long.

His fingers dig into your sides as he pulls you closer and closer, until you are flush against him and you are sitting on his dick, the only thing now separating you both are the clothes on your bodies.

You can feel him growing hard beneath you, his dick straining against his jeans and into your center, begging for attention. You slip your tongue into his mouth, and deepen the kiss with a whimper that vibrates against his lips, you taste the beer, the mint gum that he must’ve spit out before he came here. You pick up the pace, kissing him faster, rougher, more desperately.

Your hands leave his face, reaching into his hair instead.

A deep groan leaves his lips at the feeling of your fingers pulling his hair.

You start moving your hips, grinding against him as you keep moving your lips against his, still keeping control – the way you plan to keep all night.

His hands start roaming your body, getting lost beneath your top, he moans when he finds no bra to unclasp. His fingertips graze your smooth skin, moving to your front, he squeezes your waist with both hands, as he tries to buck his hips up to throw you under him, but you don’t budge, not today. You tug at his hair roughly, groaning into the kiss as you grind down harder against him, keeping him in place.

A whimper falls from his lips and he knits his eyebrows together, something deep within him stirs at your action, making him weak beneath you, making him putty in your hands.

You kiss him as though it’s the last thing you will ever do, taking his breath and making it your own as you swallow all his moans, you only pull away when the lack of oxygen gets to you, but you don’t hesitate to tilt his head to the side, and latching your lips onto his neck, sucking and biting his skin the way he usually does to you.

“F-Fuck,” he whimpers, eyes fluttering shut as he grabs your waist even tighter than before, “Blondie.”

His jeans have never felt more uncomfortable than they do right now, dick aching and throbbing as you keep grinding your pussy against it.

He tilts his head further to the side, allowing you more access to his neck, you instantly start peppering kisses along his side and his jaw, switching between sucking and kissing roughly, and Steve basks in the feeling, closing his eyes as he gets lost in the pleasure of your lips blessing him with such intensity.

His heart is pounding in his chest, his stomach swirling with lust as he holds you tightly, wanting to feel you close and closer.

Your hands slip down his stomach, fingers grabbing at his shirt, you pull it over his head swiftly, not wasting more time, you throw it behind you somewhere.

His eyes shoot open, and he looks at you in surprise when you start kissing down his chest instead, nails grazing his shoulder, his collarbones and the hair on his chest before your hands fall lower and lower, skimming his stomach, making him shudder at the feeling. His hands fall to his sides as he stares at you in awe, watching the way your lips trail kisses down his stomach. And then, you fall to your knees in front of him, hands reaching for his belt.

“O-Oh shit,” he blurts out, eyes growing wide, “y-you don’t have to,” he rushes, despite feeling the need to see your pretty lips wrapped around his cock.

“Shut up,” you nearly growl, “you’re gonna sit there and look pretty for me while I suck your dick.”

“O-Okay,” he whimpers, eyes turning black as he watches you.

Who is he to say no to this, to you anyways?

He had been dreaming of this moment.

You unbuckle his belt hastily, popping open the button on his jeans as you start tugging his pants and boxers down. He lifts himself up a little, helping you. His dick springs free, slapping against his stomach, his tip an angry red as pre cum leaks out and rolls down his length already.

You will never not be amazed by how big he is, no matter the times you have seen him or felt him inside of you.

You lick your lips, placing your hands on his thighs as you move closer to him, you look up into his eyes, the shock, the lust and the desperation in them making you feel satisfied. Because this, all of his feelings, the look in his eyes is only reserved for you, right now. No one else. Just you.

You keep eye contact as you spit into your palm before you wrap your hand around his aching cock.

He furrows his eyebrows, biting his lip as he looks at your much smaller hand, and the way you start jerking him off slowly, teasing him.

“Don’t tease me like that,” he growls.

A huff falls from your lips, the fire inside of you, growing bigger, “don’t tell me what to do.”

Steve had never seen this side of you.

You are bratty sometimes, even mean, but you are never like this, you never order him around or tell him what to do – but this only gives him the confirmation that he needs, you are jealous.

And that fuels his own fire.

“Stop teasing and suck my cock, Blondie.”

You glare at him, clenching your jaw and unclenching it a second later when you move closer and closer until your lips are only inches away from him.

“When’s the last time you got your dick sucked, Stevie?” You ask before you stick your tongue out, pressing the tip to the underside of his cock and licking up to his tip.

A needy moan falls from his lips, and he has to restrain himself from throwing his head back.

“Answer the question,” you murmur as you swirl your tongue around his tip, welcoming the salty taste of his pre cum on your tongue.

You want to know if he has been with anyone else since you, you need to know.

He curses under his breath, curling his fists as he moans again when you keep teasing him with your tongue.

“I-I don’t know! I don’t remember!” He nearly whines in desperation, cheeks growing red under the dim lights in your living room.

He truly doesn’t, it’s been long before you, and it wasn’t very memorable either.

He never let you suck his dick, you don’t know why, but every time you tried to kiss down his body, he pulled you back up and threw you under him instead, using his tongue to pleasure you instead of letting you do the same to him – no guy has ever denied head, no one but Steve and it confused you, but you always guessed that he finds more enjoyment in giving, than receiving.

“Hmm, before me?”

“Yeah, fuck… Yeah, before you!”

Good.

You spit down on his dick, letting it roll down his length before you wrap your lips around him and envelop him with wet warmth as you take him down your throat, tearing a gasp out of him.

He almost jumps up, eyes growing wide as you nearly take his full length. No one has ever been able to take all of him. He is aware of his size, of his length, one girl nearly threw up all over him when his tip hit the back of her throat, but you, you are special.

“Mmm,” you moan around him, closing your eyes as you start sucking him off, like you’re doing it for your own pleasure.

His lips part, jaw dropping as he stares down at you.

You start bobbing your head, slowly at first, moans vibrating against him as you get lost in it.

Steve can’t hold back any longer, he brings his hand down to your head, grabbing your hair as he whimpers your name loudly and it only prompts you to move faster.

You hollow your cheeks around him and take him deeper and deeper, until he hits the back of your throat, and you keep sucking him off with no struggle, you breathe through your nose calmly, moans still falling as you pleasure him in ways no one ever has before.

He nearly wants to curse and pull at your hair when he thinks about how many men had the pleasure of feeling this before him. An ugly feeling bubbling in his chest at the thought of it, he had been so good at pushing those thoughts aside ever since he learned more about your past, ever since you revealed more of your secrets to him. He wasn’t very pleased to find out details about your sex life, a weird feeling cursed through his veins every time he found out something new, but he couldn’t hide his curiosity either, wanting to know things himself… so he can make you feel better than they ever could.

But now is not the time to think of such things, he pushes everything aside, every worry, every weird feeling in his chest, and he focuses on you, just you.

“Y-You’re doing so good, B-Blondie…” He gasps, pulling at your hair a little, he watches you, he watches the way tears start to roll down your cheeks as you suck him off eagerly, desperately, and in such a dirty way.

Saliva rolls down your chin, your moans falling and vibrating against his throbbing cock, glassy eyes now looking up into his as you bring one hand up to his length, using your hand where your mouth can’t reach, while you use your other hand to play with his balls gently.

Steve is speechless, he can’t come up with the right words, he is in awe, in absolute bliss as he gets lost in the pleasure that you bless him with.

You both should’ve done this earlier, much much earlier.

His eyes nearly fall shut, but he doesn’t, he can’t look away from you, not even when his own eyes fill with tears from pleasure, turning the vision in front of him blurry.

He adores your big eyes and your swollen lips as he watches how they move back and forth on his aching dick.

He feels the heat in his stomach spreading, moving down to his pelvis, to his thighs. His breathing gets heavier, the more seconds pass, his moans get louder and needier, his heart starts racing. He is so close, so very close, and it feels so good. Not as good as it feels to be inside of you, to feel you around him, to feel you clinging to his body, to feel how tight you get around him, but this is definitely the second best thing he has ever come to feel.

He nearly starts drooling, unable to close his mouth.

His stomach contracts and he digs his fingers further into your hair, he keeps his hips still, not wanting to gag you.

You remove one hand from him, and move it down your own body, slipping it past your shorts and your panties. You moan around him as you push your fingers through your slick folds, teasing your clit before you slip two fingers inside of you, stretching yourself open for his cock.

“Fuck!” He gasps, watching you wide eyed as your moans get louder, “are you touching yourself?”

Another moan from you is the only confirmation he needs, and that, only brings him closer to his high.

You feel him twitching in your mouth, and you would love nothing more than to keep doing this until he cums down your throat, but you pull away from him, almost smirking at the loud whine that leaves his lips when you release him with a pop!

You’re surprised to see tears in his eyes, desperation lingering in them as he stares at you, waiting for more. He is breathing heavily, his lips parted and cheeks glowing. He looks so good like this, so sexy. It takes everything in you not to sink back to your knees and finish what you started.

You rise to your feet, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach at the sight of his disheveled looks.

You quickly take your shorts and your panties off, letting them pool at your feet.

Steve swallows, cursing under his breath as he leans forward to retrieve the condom he stuck in his back pocket earlier. Before he can even rip the foil apart, you snatch it from his hand and straddle him just the way you did before, you bite your lip as you open the foil and pick out the condom.

Steve doesn’t realize just how fast he is breathing, how needy he seems as he grabs your bare hips with his hands, urging you to put the goddamn condom on his throbbing dick.

You scoot closer, licking your lips as you roll the condom over his length, eyes flickering back and forth between his eyes and his lips, a smirk tugging on yours.

Steve can’t help but admire you, staring at your slick and swollen lips, at the tears that pool on your lower lash line, your nipples that poke through your thin top. You’re hot, you’re so fucking hot, he can barely contain himself.

You grab his left shoulder as you use your free hand to tease his cock by slipping it through your folds, making you both moan in pleasure.

“I-I’m gonna… fuck… Blondie!” He warns, glaring into your eyes.

You can’t even help but chuckle, taunting him with a smug smirk on your lips.

He holds your hips tighter, face growing redder, he is ready to flip you over and fuck the brat out of you. He is so close, so goddamn close already, it won’t take much for him to shoot his load into the stupid condom.

You look into his eyes, as you finally give into both yours and his needs, you sink down on his cock, scrunching up your face in pleasure as he splits you open.

“O-Oh,” he groans, gripping your hips so tightly that it’ll definitely bruise your delicate skin, “just like that, ba– good girl.”

You bite your lip so harshly that moments later, you can taste blood, but you don’t care, you don’t care about anything when he is inside of you and his hands hold you so needily.

You take him inch by inch, until his cock is buried deep inside of you and you’re fully seated on top of him.

He is moaning, whimpering beneath you, and you didn’t even get started yet.

You take a moment, a few seconds, to adjust to his size, blinking away the tears that keep building up in your eyes, your mouth waters as the mix of pain and pleasure takes over, you shut your eyes, not seeing him any longer, not seeing the way he’s looking at you, like he is in awe, in utter bliss, like you’re the only thing that matters in this godforsaken world.

His eyes take in the way you throw your head back, the way your lips part in pleasure, the way the strap of your top falls down your arm, exposing more of your chest to him. He licks his lips as he moves closer, kissing your shoulder and up to your neck, trying to distract himself from how good it feels to be balls deep in your pussy that he wishes he could feel around him without the rubber that separates him from feeling you the way he only did once before.

You wrap your arms around him, cupping the back of his neck lightly, as you roll your hips, earning a moan from him.

He instantly pulls away from your neck, stopping the kisses, he needs to see you again, to watch your face contorted in pleasure.

He leans back against the pillows behind him, still holding your hips tightly as he takes a look at you.

Your eyes fall to his neck, you would choke him, that was something you were into before. Before the whole upside down thing happened, before the Demobats choked him, before Jason choked you.

So instead, you grab his hair tightly, knowing that it’ll make him whimper, you pull his neck back, and lean in, licking his skin teasingly before you start kissing him there again and giving the scar around his neck the soft attention it deserves as you roll your hips again, and clench around him.

“Did Jennifer do this to you, Steve?” You murmur against his skin as you press another soft kiss to his scar, “or did she just lay there, making you do all the work?”

He doesn’t know what drives him more crazy, the fact that you’re jealous, the fact that you’re sitting on his cock or the raspiness of your voice as you kiss him like he means something to you.

You roll your hips again and again, making him whine and groan in pleasure, but then, you still on top of him, making him wince as you suck on the side of his neck.

“She totally let you do all the work while she screamed your name to fill your ego, didn’t she?”

He clenches his jaw, growling at you, “Blondie… if you don’t move…”

“If I don’t move, what?” You ask as you pull back to look at him, lips curling into a smirk as you look into his angry eyes, “I can just say no and you wouldn’t be able to do anything.”

He gulps at your words, but he nods, hazel eyes taking on the desperation again.

“S-She didn’t ride me,” he admits.

“I know she doesn’t… Billy told me she sucked at it,” you smirk, not giving him the time to react before you finally start moving. Slamming yourself down on his cock.

“Oh fuck, just like that!” He moans, wrapping his arms around you fully as he pulls you flush against him, “don’t stop!”

Your own moans start falling from your lips, hands clinging to his hair now as you ride him.

His hand gripping your sides and tugging at your top, silently begging for you to take it off – and you grant him his wish, pulling back just enough to rid yourself off the skimpy material, you throw it on the couch, gasping in surprise when he buries his face in your chest.

“S-Steve,” you moan as you start bouncing on his cock.

He massages your boobs, moaning against you as he wraps his lips around your nipple, sucking it.

You let yourself get lost in the pleasure, shutting your eyes.

“Y-You feel so good,” he stutters against you, “you’re driving me fucking crazy.”

“Yeah?” You whimper, grabbing his hair even rougher than before, pulling him back so you can see his face again, his lust filled eyes, his swollen lips, “you drive me crazy too,” you whisper before you slam your lips against his, nudging your nose against his as the kiss starts off roughly. He meant those words physically, while you mean it in a whole other way. More ways than only one.

“Mmm.” He whines as he twitches inside of you.

You know he won’t last much longer, he was ready to bust in your mouth just minutes ago, you’re impressed by the way he is able to hold back for so long.

His hands touch you everywhere, your back, your ass – groping it for a second before he brings it up to your front, tilting his head down, he watches the way you ride him, the way his cock disappears inside of you, a sight that only brings him closer and closer to his orgasm.

The room is filled with moans and whimpers, along with the squelching noises of your pussy, it’s what nears him to the edge he’s been dangerously close to since you wrapped your lips him.

Nothing could be better than this.

Nothing.

Your walls clench around him, and your moans get high pitched now, your lips move lazily against his.

He presses his fingertips against your clit, rubbing circles on your nub.

You respond by grabbing his shoulders tightly and picking up the pace, catching him off guard when you start bouncing harder and faster.

“Holy fuck!” He whimpers as you both break the kiss to look at one another, “I-I’m gonna cum!” He warns, moving his fingers faster on your clit.

You drag your nails down his chest, pressing your palms against his hairy chest as you lean your forehead against his, blinking away the tears of pleasure.

Your breaths mingle together as your noses bump into each other.

“Cum for me, Steve.”

“Cum with me, Blondie,” he demands as he keeps on pleasuring your clit with his calloused fingers.

You press your lips back against his, moaning into the kiss when you let go, and cum around him, as he spills into the condom, groaning loudly as he pulls you close, breathing heavily and whimpering at the feeling of your walls pulsating around him.

You stop moving after a moment, falling against his chest, you break the kiss, sighing in contentment.

Steve is too speechless to speak, still coming down from his high, he breathes heavily as he runs his finger up and down your spine, not knowing that a small action like that, is able to set your heart on fire, making it flutter and race at the same time.

You place your head on his chest, closing your eyes for a moment, and you let yourself get lost in the feeling of him, of the way it feels to be in his arms while he touches you gently, softly, his lips on your shoulders as he kisses you as though you are his, like you are the only one that matters, like you are the only one for him.

When in reality, you’re not.

You’re only this to him, something, someone who keeps him warm.

While he is your everything.

You aren’t the only one, you will never be, and yet, you will always take him back whenever he feels like having your body beneath him, instead of someone else’s, and even though it crushes your heart a little, you will always run into his open arms whenever he wants you.

You open your eyes again, staring into nothing. You only pull away when he stops with the kisses and squeezes your waist, tucking your hair behind your ear as he cups your cheek, pulling you back so he can see your face.

Heat rushes to your cheeks when your eyes meet his again, his dimples show when he smiles at you.

“Well… I discovered something I didn’t know I was into, just now.”

You can’t even help but giggle, pride swelling in your chest.

His eyes light up, he lets his hand move down your side again.

“Ah,” you nod as a smirk reappears on your lips, “that confirms that no one ever rode you before.”

He rolls his eyes at you, shaking his head with a chuckle.

“Don’t get fucking cocky now,” he murmurs as he pinches your ass, making you yelp a little.

“Let’s take this upstairs,” he smirks, “I wanna return the favor.”

And just like that, all your worries are out the window for now, because tonight, you are the only one on his mind, tonight he belongs to you.

Eddie is sitting out on the porch, smoking a cigarette as he looks up at the starry sky.

Wayne has a couple of friends over – Hopper included. He hears their laughter echoing in the backyard, the smell of burning wood lingering in the air from the little bonfire.

Eddie blows out the smoke of his cigarette, returning his attention to the notebook on his lap, he skims over the words he wrote before. He is working on a new song, one that he will hopefully play at The Hideout someday, soon.

The sound of footsteps pull his attention away from his notebook again. He furrows his eyebrows as he looks into his darkened driveway, craning his neck to see better.

For a moment, he thinks it’s you, until he sees the bike next to the lone figure that inches closer and closer and he recognizes the short hair and the red converse.

“Buckley,” Eddie says loudly, a grin pulling at his lips, “to what do I owe you the pleasure?”

“Hey,” she mumbles, a serious look in her features – a rare sight to see.

She drops her bike on the grass before she makes her way up on his porch, plopping down beside him. A loud sigh falls from her lips.

Eddie raises his eyebrows at her, grin slowly falling when he realizes that she’s in a bad mood.

He stubs out his cigarette, knowing that she hates the smell of it.

“Are you okay?” He asks. “Did something happen?”

She shakes her head and turns her body towards him, looking into his eyes.

“Steve is lying to me about something.”

“Oh?”

She nods, eying his face, trying to figure him out, if he knows something.

“Yeah,” she mumbles, “I-I don’t know what it is, but… we usually tell each other everything, so either, it’s something super embarrassing or… something he doesn’t feel ready to talk about.”

Eddie nods.

“He’s been acting weird for a few weeks now, but it’s not just that.”

Her eyes are troubled as she waves her hands around. “Today, Jennifer Mitchell walked into Family Video.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows again, curiosity sparking inside of him at the mention of that name. He remembers the conversation at the bonfire, how he gloated about that girl.

“She flirted with him and left him a note with her number written on it!”

Eddie chuckles, scratching the back of his neck, “okay…?”

“Guess what he did!”

He shrugs, shaking his head, “I dunno, he called her?”

“No!” She throws her hands up, “that’s the thing! He didn’t call her! He threw the note away, but he told me that he’s going on a date with her tonight, when clearly, he isn’t!”

“Oh…Oh!”

“Yeah, oh!” Robin nods, her blue eyes shining with confusion. “But it’s not even the first time that he’s done something like this! Five girls left him their numbers on notes, he threw them all away, every single one of them!”

Eddie crosses his arms over his chest, pressing his lips together.

“You know, normally I’d think that maybe… maybe he’s sick of all the dates and the sex but I swear to god, he has new hickeys every few days or so… so he’s definitely being sexually active!”

“Huh,” Eddie nods as something sparks in his mind, “that’s uh… interesting.”

“Yeah, so I was thinking!” She raises her hands up, tugging at her hair for a moment as her eyes widen, “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the only explanation that I have!”

Eddie tilts his head to the side, squinting his eyes, he can see where this is going, what is about to leave her lips.

“And that is?”

She takes a deep breath, blue eyes staring into brown ones as she presses her palms together.

“Steve is gay.”

And Eddie blinks once, twice, three times…maybe sixty times.

“What did you just say…?”

“Think about it!” She nearly yells, “not going out with girls anymore, throwing their phone numbers away, Heidi suddenly being good at sex!?” She scoffs, shaking her head a few times. “Nuh uh. I’m– rejecting girls? Steve!?”

Eddie sits back, and stares into nothing.

“Holy shit,” he laughs, “you think he’s into dick?”

“I’m telling you… I am 90% sure.”

Eddie squints his eyes a little bit.

“What’s the other 10%?”

Amusement flashes in Robin’s eyes as she shrugs, “he’s a stripper in Indianapolis at night.”

Eddie snorts, chuckling as he pinches the bridge of his nose, looking back at the starry sky, he stared at before.

Robin’s explanation makes sense, but he knows what he saw. Steve’s eyes that day in the pool didn’t follow a man’s figure.

They were following his best friend.

♡

A/N: Stripper Steve was Roe's idea, if you're an Eddie girl and you wanna see more of Stripper Steve (and Eddie duh) and you haven't read Do I wanna know go and read it right nowwwww, it's literally one of my fave fics ever

tagging friends and mutuals

@prettyboyeddiemunson @mysticmunson @corrodedcorpses @taintedcigs @wroteclassicaly @maroon-cardigan @munsonlore @joekeerysmoles @munson-mjstan @sherrylyn628 @ibellcipem @agirlwholovesrockstars

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington series #stranger things angst

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taeyongdoyoung · 15 days

Text

strawberries & sunshine

summary: your adorable best friend takes you to a picnic in a secluded spot but his intentions may be far from innocent... pairing: haechan x reader genre: smut, established relationship warnings: cnc/dubcon, corruption kink, innocence kink, pet names (angel, sweetie, my flower, etc.), mention of doctors/made-up sickness, manipulation, bf2l roleplay, inappropriate touching, rubbing, fingering, unprotected sex (pls dont), public sex (there is no one around but still), creampie, safeword is referenced but not used, swearing, degradation (reader is called slut), aftercare author's note: this concept has been haunting me for a while now and i finally gathered enough courage to put it into words 🥴 word count: 1.7k

Your best friend is the sweetest guy in the universe. Haechan is thoughtful, funny and always does kind gestures like bringing you flowers or your favourite chocolates without asking for anything in return. Despite being talkative himself, he always listens to you rant about what’s bothering you, checking to see if you want advice or simply emotional support.

Haechan is also very cute and pretty. Spending time with him truly energizes you and you trust him to have your best interests at heart 100%. Which is why you don’t think twice when he asks you to go on a picnic with him. You love eating and nature, but more importantly, you love being around Haechan, so you find no reason to worry.

When he first mentioned this idea, you assumed you two would go to a park inside the city. But now that the sunny day you chose for your picnic finally arrives, you are stunned that Haechan is driving you two out of the city, entering the mountain nearby.

“Woah, isn’t that a little far away?” you ask in amazement.

“Relax, angel, I’ll take you to the prettiest place,” Haechan responds.

You nod absentmindedly, not even a little bit concerned.

After what seems like forever, Haechan stops the car. He insists on carrying the picnic basket, as well as the blanket, and leads the way into the woods. You walk for around 15 minutes when you are eventually greeted by gorgeous green grass, surrounded by tall trees and birds chirping.

“It’s so lovely, Haechan! How did you find this?”

“I like exploring every once in a while,” he shrugs humbly.

You lay down the blanket, spread out the insides of the picnic basket and sit down, satisfied with the results. There are strawberries, little croissants, ham and cheese sandwiches, French macarons, some homemade kimbap and lemonade. It is so peaceful and quiet here, you really needed an escape from the big city.

You don’t talk much, too busy eating, enjoying the sweet strawberries, the bright sunshine and the lovely atmosphere.

“Oof, I’m so full,” you groan at some point.

“That’s the whole point of picnics, isn’t it?” Haechan chuckles.

“So true!” you laugh.

You two put the remaining food back into the basket and place it on the grass, making space for you to lie down on the blanket.

“To be honest, I’m still kinda hungry,” Haechan murmurs bashfully.

“What? Why didn’t you say so before we put the food away?” you exclaim in surprise.

“Not hungry for anything inside the basket.”

“What do you mean?” you ask innocently.

“I’m not just hungry, I’m also in a lot of pain.”

“Huh? Should we go back to the city for you to see a doctor?” you are instantly concerned for your friend’s well-being.

“Oh, I’ve talked to many doctors already and they all said the same thing. There is only one cure possible for my sickness,” Haechan explains patiently.

“Well, what is it? If there’s anything I can do to help you…” you offer without thinking.

“There is, actually. But do you promise to do anything for me? You’re my best friend, right? You wouldn’t want me to be in pain?”

“Of course not, Haechan! I promise I’ll try to help you but you gotta tell me what kind of pain are you talking about?”

“How about I show you instead?” Haechan’s lips tilt in the slightest of smirk. You are confused by the change of his expression, when he grabs your hand and puts it on his heart. “First, it hurts here.” Then, he moves it so that your hand is now placed on top of his cock. “But it also hurts here.”

“Oh, Haechan,” you sympathize with him. Truly. “This is so strange but I think I might have the same sickness?”

You take hold of his hand and place it on your breasts.

“It hurts me here, as well,” you blink at him softly, then move his hand to your clothed pussy so he touches it through your floral dress. “And here.”

“My angel, I had no idea you were also suffering from this cruel sickness. Do you think maybe…we could be each other’s cure?”

“I don’t know, Haechan…Isn’t it wrong to feel this way?” you express your doubts.

“Oh no, sweetie, it’s completely normal, at least that’s what the doctors said. If we help each other, the pain will disappear.”

“Well, then I guess it’s for the best,” you concede. “The hurt is becoming quite uncomfortable.”

“Same here, my flower. I think we should hurry if we want to cure ourselves of this terrible illness.”

Haechan wastes no more time trying to convince you and climbs on top of you, pressing you down. He spreads your legs apart with one hand, touching and brutally rubbing you through your panties.

“Hyuck, n-no, this isn’t right,” you cry out and try to push him away.

“Shh, my sweet, I’m just trying to cure you first. Don’t you want it?”

“N-no, I’m not sure anymore, please stop,” you whine helplessly but he is too strong to fight off.

“It’ll be over before you know it, just stop struggling, my dear,” Haechan assures you and continues to attack your pussy with his hand. Eventually, he tears your panties apart, sticking his long fingers inside of you.

“P-please, you don’t ha-have to do this,” you try your best to resist but your damn pussy betrays you, squelching noises revealing your juices all for your best friend to see and hear. You would be embarrassed if you aren’t so turned on right now. You come around his fingers so quickly and powerfully that you are unable to think clearly any longer.

“You can help me now, no? I healed you, so now it’s your turn to give me the cure,” Haechan tries to talk you into this.

“I don’t know…” you shake your head. “Maybe there’s another way.”

“There isn’t. Trust me, okay?” Haechan insists. “You promised…”

His reminder, paired with his soft yet cruel smile is more than enough to convince you. But you say nothing as he unbuckles his belt, lowers his boxers and enters you in one swift movement.

“N-no, it h-hurts, Hyuck, p-please,” you whimper around him, as he goes deeper than you could ever imagine, stretching you out to your absolute limits.

“Take it, you slut, going alone into the woods with a guy, acting as if you had no idea what’s gonna happen to you,” Haechan’s words are so unkind, so unlike the sweet guy you’re used to seeing.

“I didn’t know, I swear,” you insist, pushing against his chest with your tiny hands.

“Shut the fuck up,” he laughs meanly, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head.

“N-no, this is wrong, H-hyuck,” you sniffle pitifully. “We’re best friends, we shouldn’t do things like that.”

“Well, best friends ought to help each other no matter what. So, take it like the good little slut you are and cure me of this sickness you caused,” Haechan keeps fucking into you, making you feel so full and satiated.

“Am not a slut,” you argue.

“Oh yeah? Then, why didn’t you wear a fucking bra, huh?” Haechan asks, letting go of your wrists and sliding his hand under your dress, grabbing your tits roughly.

“F-for you,” you admit shamelessly. “Wanna be your good girl, Hyuck.”

“Too bad, because I wanna turn my good girl into a slut,” he snickers at you, spilling his seed inside of your pussy. You come around him without thinking and are foolish enough to think he’s done with you. Taking his cock out and using his fingers to fuck the cum threatening to spill out back into your pussy. You are too exhausted to fight back but you do your best anyway.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Making sure the cure is permanent,” Haechan explains calmly as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

Then, without bothering to ask, he flips you around so that you are on your knees, face down, and slips back inside of you smoothly.

“N-no, that’s enough!” you scream in frustration.

“It’s enough when I say it’s enough,” Haechan grunts loudly.

“Nngh, aren’t we cured already?”

“What are you talking about? The disease is only spreading further,” Haechan laughs maniacally at this point.

“Haechan, please, stop, I can’t…” you cry and plead and whimper, again and again.

“You know what to say if you really want me to stop,” Haechan reminds you. But when you say nothing, he continues using your body, right there in the middle of the woods, too far away from society, where no one could possibly hear you asking for help, where you are left entirely at your best friend’s mercy.

Eventually, he exhausts himself after cumming too many times, inside of you, on your back, on your belly, and all over the poor blanket. Haechan reaches his hand out to get water from the picnic basket, thoughtfully giving it to you. After you are both done drinking, he does his best to clean you up and make sure you are...well, alive. Taking a deep breath, he lies down next to you, enveloping you in a warm and soft hug.

“Was that too much?” he wants to know and brushes a piece of hair behind your ear gently. You melt under his touch, just like always.

There he is. Your sunshine boyfriend is back.

“No, it was perfect. So much better than what we talked about previously,” you reply honestly.

“I wasn’t too mean to my baby, was I?” Haechan needs to make sure.

“Just the right amount of mean,” you laugh. “Did I play the innocent angel part well enough?”

“Too well,” Haechan praises your acting skills. “Maybe because you were my innocent best friend back when we first met.”

“And look where that got me,” you sigh. “Miles away from home, overflowing with cum, no one to save me. Such a tragic fate.”

“Oh, come on, don’t pretend you don’t like it,” Haechan rolls his eyes.

You lean in to kiss him softly.

“Loved every minute,” you admit. Then, you grab his chin firmly. “But next time, I’ll be the one corrupting you.”

The End

#nct #haechan #nct smut #haechan smut #nct dream smut #lee donghyuck smut #nct 127 smut #haechan x reader #nct hard thoughts #nct hard hours #haechan hard thoughts #haechan hard hours #nct imagines #haechan imagines #writing

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delugguk · 10 months

Text

4:17am || jungkook

genre: drabble.

word count: 700 (lmao 7)

author note: this is not edited.

he deep breathes. “I like your waist a lot.” as you’re hugging on top of him while he traces his fingers onto your lines.

jungkook is the type to kiss your waist whenever he got the time to. there’s nothing he loved more than to kiss all over your entire body. it was like a monument for him. his favorite place to stay, his favorite piece of art. like he always says.

“‘want to eat you whole. you have no idea.” he snorts to himself with a little cheeky but shy smile. you wondered how he managed to look so cute but hot at the same time every time he did that.

he liked sex with you so much.

hard.

hard and wild sex.

messy sex in specific.

even though his angelic but sinful (at times) face doesn’t really show that.. jungkook’s very crazy and passionate about sex. but don’t get this wrong.. he it isn’t to the point of him being obsessive. — he says that not just anybody can make him be this turned on. said he has only felt this horny for you.

you believed him.

not because he had those pretty doe eyes once he told you but because ever since you started dating jungkook, he has always showed you how sincere he was with whatever he did or even said. telling you about how much he doesn’t get why people have the necessity to lie when it comes to relationships or anything else, really. - that actually was a very nice conversation you both had that you’re surely telling whoever is reading this letter, later.

he enjoyed eating you out and god damnit how much you loved that too.

he lays your body down while his kissing your tummy and waist. every time he did that you already knew what was coming next. — his piercing.. his new one in specific, you could feel it hit your clit whenever he kissed you there each. time.

smirking about it, he always did that whenever your legs glitched.. god. he even spits on it, you adored how much he wasn’t afraid of getting so messy even his chin shined of how wet you are.

not feeling even embarrassed, you could never feel that way with him. feeling him as your own cozy home, he truly is your safe place. could never get embarrassed in front of him with these type of things.. but you do are whenever he randomly compliments you..

“turn around and close your legs. want to see your ass while I fuck you like this.”

his dirty mouth.. he should shut up, but not actually.

you do as he says.

“mmh this is what I wanted.” he hisses once he opens your pussy with both fingers. very slightly. your arousal sticking to your walls just like glue is what turns him on the most. “I’m the only one who gets you like this, huh?”

he slap-grabs your ass. only making you arch your ass a little.

“fuck” he whispers more to himself.

when his dick is full out and angry slightly red, he can’t help but stroke it with your arousal before entering you. he’s playful, you hated-loved that.

pushing your ass so he can finally enter, he smirks getting the memo. a soft moan falling down his lips when he does.

he goes deep and slow. just how you like it. he preferred going a little hard but strangely enough, whenever it came to this particularly position, he always liked going so deep and slow. said you wrapped around him even better.

you could feel him full. pussy lips wrapping around him just the way he loved it. you cummed and he continued to fuck you. he cummed and still continued to fuck you. the creampie just going crazy for him, it turns him on so badly and you know that when jungkook gets like that it’s dangerous.

dangerous because of his energy and stamina. a horny jungkook is very.. dangerous.

—————————————————————————-

okay I’m ending it here lmaosososksk

I guess part two will start with “a horny jungkook is very.. dangerous.”

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jade-jini · 6 months

Note

imagine dom nerd won x popular sub reader 😩

(I love my wony baby so much Ahhh also I’m sorry I took forever 😞) Smut!

Nerdy wony who might not be that talkative but is not exactly shy you know what I mean? Everybody would believe she’s a sub because look at her she’s so cute and polite but when you guys are in bed?? She shows you who’s in control and who owns you.

(And when I say dom nerd wony is cute but at the same time has a resting bitch face then what? It makes sense.)

To me wonyoung knows how to make you shy, it’s just she decides not to do it aaall the time. But when she does she has your face red and the words caught in your throat it’s so funny. Whenever people see you interacting and see how the popular y/n gets easily flustered by this nerd’s flirting and teasing they’re like??? Stick to your role ??

Wony who loves both rewarding you:

“Cmon baby, if you make me come with just your pretty mouth I’ll make sure you have a good grade in the next test” she said while passing her fingers through your hair, but let’s be honest, her pussy in your mouth was enough reward. Knowing that she meant what she said tho, that was just extra motivation.

And also punishing you:

“We studied so hard and for what, y/n?” She said while she has you bent on her lap, hand print already on your ass.

“I’m sorry mommy…”

Wonyoung spanked you a few more times, each one leaving a painfully delicious sensation. She didn’t stop until your moans became sobs, and she would’ve felt bad (not really) if it wasn’t ‘cause of how your pussy was basically dripping. Your slick making it look so shiny, the taller girl almost drooling at the view. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? I’m gonna have to find a different punishment for you, I think I already turned you into a cute little pain slut.”

So a little throwback; the classic popular kid needed tutoring and the nerd who gets assigned to help you by the teacher. Wonyoung is not really fond of popular kids so she wasn’t excited about the idea, specially since she knew you and your friends could be idiots sometimes. However, she could see in your eyes that you really needed help when she looked over the professor’s shoulder, and he didn’t give her a lot of options anyway when talking about it. So she simply accepted. You two quickly agreed on going to your place after class, and you left right away to meet with your friends, leaving her confused ‘cause why at your place though? When the library was a more than good space to study but whatever, she got sht to do so she didn’t think much about it for the rest of the day.

The thing is before the whole conversation, you and your friends already thought it would be fun to tease her once she’s at your place for the “private lessons”. The plan was to see how flustered you could make her, what was her limit. She’s kinda quiet so you thought she was shy. But oh you were so wrong my bro. Wony’s quiet and serious but shy and submissive? Nu-uh. And you were gonna learn it soon since your dumb ass was also planning that, if she didn’t back off on it, you could also end up having a lot of fun with the cute nerd in your own bed. You kept that to yourself tho, daydreaming about it for the rest of the day.

And as expected by me ‘cause I’m the author but not by y/n, everytime you tried to flirt with her, she’d answer so nonchalantly. Like you were starting to wonder if you simply sucked at flirting ‘cause why couldn’t you make her blush or stutter just once??

On the other hand tho, it seemed so easy for wony to cause this reaction on you lmao

“I just think it’s weird that a pretty girl like you is single ‘cause If I was your partner I’d be jealous knowing you’re going to another g—”

“Aww you think I’m pretty huh?” She teased with that little smirk she had that she didn’t allow to reach her eyes just to seem like she couldn’t care less about it.

“I-I mean…” ugh! Wtf? You were nervous? Since when YOU get nervous? Who did she think she was to make THE y/l y/n stutter? It should be you making HER nervous! You were tired of this game already. “What I meant is that—”

“Eyes on your book, y/n.”

“But I’m—”

“Quiet, y/n.” She basically ordered in such an authoritarian tone.

“Yes ma’am.” You answered, unable to disobey her.

What you didn’t know is that through the whole day Wonyoung has been studying your behavior, from the way you’d get nervous easily to the way you’d obey her every word. She’d merely hint she was thirsty and you were already bringing her water or juice or anything you could find. She said she was cold and you gave her your jacket (which did make her heart flutter but she kept it cool). It was a nice change from the way you and your friends (mostly your friends tho you weren’t that bad:c ) would normally treat other smart, shy kids around school. Now it was her who wanted to see what were your limits. Plus, you were having a little bit of an attitude whenever you got frustrated with a question. And she doesn’t know who told you you could act like that, just because she’s technically your teacher right now and has to have patience doesn’t mean she’s gonna be no punching bag.

“Jang.” You call her, clearing your throat and doing your best to sound confident and firm “Jang I’m talking to you, I don’t understand this question.”

“On your knees.” Wonyoung said, in that nonchalant tone that turned you on you hated.

“What?” You asked, completely confused.

“On. Your. Knees.”

“How is that gonna help me with the que—” bro you stupid fr.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” Wonyoung did NOT like having to repeat herself at all, and it was obvious in her eyes even when she had that mean smile in her face. So your body didn’t listen to anything but her order, like her voice was a switch that activates something in you. How could you not listen to her when it felt like that was the only reason you were brought to this earth?

“Good girl. You look so pretty down there.” She praised and you can’t remember the last time you felt this eager for more praising. And you definitely can’t recall wanting it in this position, on your knees in front of her chair. “You’d look even better if that mouth of yours that you can’t seem to keep quiet was busy in something more important than complaining.”

“Hey! I don’t talk that m- Hmm!” And without any warning she just grabbed your hair and pushed your face against her bare cunt. When did she even take her panties off?! Or did she go to school without them at all under her skirt? Jeez.

“There there, hmmm~” she quietly moaned while slowly moving your head to pleasure herself. You were not gonna lie, it was so hot how she was basically using you like that.

“You go to class with no panties? That’s such a slutty behavior you k—” you wanted to tease but she was gonna have none of it, and there she had you shutting you up with her pussy once again.

“Shut the fuck up and put that mouth to a good use. Be good and I’ll make sure you can’t walk tomorrow.” She threatened, but it sounded so good so was it really a threat?

“Just like that, baby. Keep that pretty mouth right there ‘till I come in it...Hmm fuck y/n~” you heard her from the position you were in, and the beautiful sounds she was making just motivated you to keep going and to do as good as it was humanly possible. You tried grabbing her thighs to have her more steady but she slapped your hands away.

“Ah Ah! Hands behind your back. You wanna touch? You ask first.” She ordered while grabbing your neck and making you look up. Gosh being ordered like this turned you on so much, you obeyed immediately.

“Can I please touch you, mommy?” You asked in such a sweet tone but Wait. What did you just call her?

Fuck… Wonyoung thought, she wanted to hear you calling her that again and again. “Yes, yes you can baby. And you better call me that again when you’re coming for me do you hear me?” She said with the grip on your neck feeling slightly tighter, letting you know you had only one choice. You nodded eagerly, which made her giggle ‘cause you looked cute fr.

With ease, she stood you up and guided you to your couch, pushing you so you’d lie on your stomach. Wasting no time, wony undressed you entirely, the moment your ass was exposed she left a few spanks on it, making you squeak in surprise. This girl got you so wet so fast, your body has never reacted this way with any of your previous sexual partners. But Wonyoung just knows how to touch you. The way her hands travel over your skin. The way her mouth tastes you, making you moan her name and the title that escaped your lips earlier, asking her for more. Asking her to ruin you.

“You’re so needy. One would assume such a popular pretty girl gets fucked everyday if she wants to huh?” You heard, followed by a spank that got a loud high pitch noise from the back of your throat, making her laugh at your reaction and giving you another one “your pussy looks so pretty, exposed like this for me.” She said before bringing two fingers inside it, while her mouth was busy torturing your clit. You were a whining mess, it felt so good and god you were feeling it everywhere. The pleasure taking over you. Wony’s fingers reaching as deep as she could, and so fast turning your brain into nothing. She got you drooling over your own shirt that was resting under your head “m-mommy…Hmm gonna come… p-please~” you left in a moan, barely understandable.

“Ask properly, and I’ll let you. You sound like an idiot right now. Speak properly, baby.” The taller girl said, and it took a lot from you to able to recollect your thoughts, ‘cause they were all just so full of her.

“Please.. please mommy- fuck ~ please let me come..” you begged while sobbing, it all felt too good, and you were so close that the mere idea of not being allowed to come had you tearing up a little bit. But Wony wasn’t gonna be that cruel.

“Good girl.” She whispered right next to your ear and you had to bite your lip to contain a cry from escaping you. She started fucking you faster, focusing more on stimulating your clit. Her other hand kneading and caressing your ass. You let yourself go and came in her mouth, moaning so loud and sobbing, not being able to say any word, just pure sounds of pleasure. The same ones she did (tho hers were lower) as she tasted your orgasm in her tongue and felt you tighten around her fingers.

“That was.. so good wony..” you said out of breath, trying to look back to her, but she made you lie down again, surprising you.

“Was? What do you mean ‘was’?” You heard before feeling her teasing your cunt with her fingers again. Oh.

———

The next morning on your way to class, your legs were still feeling sore so when your friends saw you they clearly noticed the way you were complaining while walking, as if you spent the night working out.

“Jeez y/n, what happened to you?” One of your friends asked. Before you could answer, Wonyoung who was going down the stairs next to you stopped right next to you and gave you a warning with her eyes that made you feel a shiver going down your spine. You gulped and could only answer your friends with “I.. fell?” To which she gave you a little smirk.

“See you after class for our second lesson?” She said, not asking but just letting you know she already decided your plans and gosh she’s so hot dhhdkdfj- sorry. You could just nod before seeing her walking away to her advanced class. Your friends looked at you with shocked faces ‘cause Wtf was all that? But you ignore them and go to your class as well.

Eventually your grades did get better tho, the perks of giving a dom nerd good pussy.

Conclusion: it’s always the quiet nerds lol.

(Also if you like nerd wony go read this one that @pupyuj wrote ‘cause I love it <3)

#ive x reader #ive scenarios #ive imagines #ive smut #ive wonyoung #Ive Wonyoung x reader #Dom Wonyoung #Nerd Wonyoung #dom Wonyoung x reader #kpop gg #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #ive x y/n #jang wonyoung #jang wonyoung x reader #wonyoung smut

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thetriumphantpanda · 3 months

Text

Take My Breath Away | Joel Miller

The Checklist - Breath Play

Chapter Summary | It's the overthinking that makes it hard to ask for what you want sometimes, so you ask for the thing you want most in the only way you know how - in the heat of the moment.

Chapter Warnings | Again, and as always, porn without plot. Dirty talk, fingering, unprotected PiV sex, creampie, breath play (sexual choking), peeing after sex (pls do this), softness and lots of love. No outbreak AU. No use of y/n.

Word Count | 2k

Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader

Authors Note | Oh my god what is this? Charlie finishing another series? I cannot tell you how sad I am to be saying goodbye to these two - they have turned into the two greatest loves of my life. Thanks are due to @vickywallace for sending this idea into my inbox in the first place - thank you for such a wonderful idea and for supporting this series! If you like this then please considering reblogging or commenting, it makes my life worth living! And if you'd like to support me further you can donate to my Ko-Fi.

A reminder that whilst this is part of a wider series, this can be read as a standalone if you wish.

Beautiful divider by @saradika

I no longer have a taglist, to keep up to date with my work, please follow @thetriumphantpandanotifs and turn on notifications.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi.

It started innocently enough. Joel’s big palm resting at your collarbone when he was inside you, his teeth nipping at your earlobe. It was a fleeting moment, no added pressure, but there was still a shot of thrill that settled across you, one that made you think of that little list and the thought in the back of your mind that you wanted him to push his hand a little higher and press.

How to ask for it properly had been playing on your mind for a little while. It’s not like the two of you weren’t open with each other, you’d proved that already. And you trusted Joel with your life, you know he wouldn’t hurt you. But each night, when you sit together on the couch and go to open your mouth to talk about it, nothing happens. Mainly because it feels inconsequential to you, does it need a big conversation like some of the other things? You don’t think so.

It happens about a week later. Friday night, dinner eaten, glass of whisky drunk in front of the TV. Joel is settled on his back, glasses perched on the end of his nose as he reads a book, you’re similar, but you’re restless. You’re reading some romance novel, and like clockwork, the two love interests have just turned up to the hotel to find there’s only one bed. They don’t really hate each other anymore, and in his sleep, he’s rolled over and draped an arm over her waist, chest to her back, and she can feel how much he wants her.

You scoff a little, which pulls Joel’s attention from his own reading, to you, “That bad huh?” He asks, innocently enough.

“Just predictable.” You shrug, trying to hide the way your thighs are unconsciously rubbing together under the sheets.

“Lemme guess,” He says, setting down his own book, along with his glasses, “They hate each other, but also secretly they don’t, and they’ve just turned up to the hotel and they have to share a bed?”

You turn to him, chuckling as you look at the front and back cover, “Have you read this before?”

“No baby,” He chuckles, “It’s just they’re all the same, if it ain’t that then it’s somethin’ forbidden or she’s too happy and he’s too grumpy, just a lucky first guess.”

There’s a little more talking, and then the lights turn off, Joel turning on his side to fall asleep, but there’s that deep throb between your thighs that no matter what you do, won’t go away.

“Joel?” You whisper, poking at his arm, listen to him grumble but ultimately not reply, “Joel?” You whisper again, a little louder.

“Yes, baby?” It’s soft when he talks, not annoyed at you for keeping him awake.

“Joel, I need you.” You whisper once more.

You can hear the rustle of the sheets as he turns, then his arm wrapping around your waist, tugging you into his chest, that hand of his wandering down to cup your ass, “You feelin’ needy, baby?” He asks lowly, pressing kisses to your forehead and then your cheek until he’s kissing your mouth.

You roll onto your back, gripping onto his naked shoulders so he follows, the entire weight of his body on yours until he rests his upper body on his elbows, hands pushing your hair back from your face as he settles himself between your thighs. You can feel him, pressing against that part of you, already semi-hard and wanting, like he was struggling just as much as you to go to bed without touching you.

“You needy for me too?” You ask innocently as his lips press to your neck, he doesn’t answer, just slowly rolls his hips into yours.

There’s a moment where he reaches down between the two of you, lets his fingers brush over your folds, dipping down slightly to find you already wet. It’s not a surprise for either of you anymore, you think that there’s always some level of slickness settling between your legs whenever you see him - still not quite believing you get him all to yourself.

Joel drags his fingers up to your clit, slick dragging across your bud of nerves, a soft whimper leaving your mouth as he gently circles it. He’s taking his time, working you up slowly because he knows you don’t have anywhere to be in the morning. In a few minutes, you’re already moving your hips in time with his fingers, his mouth kissing your neck, his teeth nipping at your skin too. You’re clutching at his shoulders, nails digging half-moon shapes into his skin, when he pulls his hand away.

You’d complain until you can feel what he’s doing - his fist tight around his cock, moving up and down as he positions himself at the entrance of your cunt, tip nudging there as his mouth comes to cover your own. You’re just opening your mouth to him when he slips himself inside, slowly edging further and further inside you until he’s sheathed in your tight heat and you’re moaning into his open mouth.

He’s slow with it at first, a gentle drag of his cock in and out of you, like he’s got all the time in the world. Every time he presses into you, he moans into your mouth a little, sighs when he drags back out and it’s perfect, but you know you need more. You reach out, circle his big wrist with your hand.

“Will you…” You trail off a little, “Will you do something for me?”

He stills inside you, tip of his cock pressed so deep you could cry, “Anything for you, honey.”

“Will you put your hand on my neck?” Your voice is timid, and you’re glad you’ve kept the lights off.

There’s enough moonlight drifting in through the blinds that don’t close properly that you can still see him, but he’s shrouded in shadows too. He’s careful when he moves, pushing himself up to rest on one palm that’s pressed net to your head, the other hand being dragged exactly where you want it. He lets you rest it where you’re comfortable, just at the base, right above your collarbone.

“You tap my arm three times if you want me to stop, okay?” He asks, finally dragging his cock back out of you.

He puts a little pressure on with his hand when he thrusts back into you. The pressure is nice, but there’s something about it that doesn’t feel right, so you do exactly as he says, tap his arm three times. Joel is quick to take his hand off you, but you grab it quickly enough that he doesn’t have chance to rest it back on the bed.

“Try it a little higher.” You suggest, pulling it back so that the pad of his thumb and middle finger are pressed into the skin just under your ear.

“Like this?” He asks quietly as he repeats his movements from before, adding a tiny bit of pressure to your neck as he pushes back into your slick cunt, and yes, you think, exactly like that.

Joel keeps his hand pressed there for a few of his movements before he lightens the pressure on your throat, letting you catch your breath but keeping that wide palm resting right where you asked for it to be.

It’s a sensation you never thought you’d enjoy so much, but every time Joel’s palm tightens around your throat, there’s a rush to your brain and a throb between your legs. It’s exhilarating and there’s something about the way you trust him, literally with your life right now, to know exactly what you want and how to give it to you.

“You like that, don’t ya?” Joel rasps out above you, hips snapping into yours.

He releases the pressure from your neck again, just enough for you to be able to nod your head and bite at your lip to try and stop yourself from grinning. Joel brings the hand from your neck up to your mouth, uses the pad of his thumb to drop your lip from your mouth.

“I wanna see that smile baby.”

So you do as he says - caught in the dance of his palm pressing against your throat, your mouth falling into a grin each time, sometimes a small giggle leaving your mouth as you do, and then the release of the pressure, back and forth like that until you can feel that coil tightening low in your belly, your own hips bucking to meet his own, desperate to come apart beneath him.

“You gonna come, baby?” He asks, palm tightening once more, you can feel your walls fluttering around him, the coil pulled tight, you’re not going to last much longer, “That’s okay, I got you baby, just let go for me.”

It’s always been his voice that does it for you - the gentle lilt of that southern drawl, the way he’s always taking care of you. The coil snaps, his hand tightening just a little further as you arch up into him, much dropping open in a silent scream as pleasure floods every nerve ending in your body. You’re mildly aware of him talking you through it, showering praise over you as his own hips start to falter, hand finally torn from your neck, both of his palms settled on the mattress beside your head as he fucks you for real now.

The sound of skin slapping on skin fills the room, Joel’s ragged groans mixed with your own squeals, not quite recovered from your orgasm. You reach your hands up, settle them on his sides and look up at him.

“Want you…” You choke out, “Come inside me, Joel.”

He groans, low in his chest, body shaking as his hips stop. He lets out a moan of your name as you feel his cock throb inside you, the familiar warmth of his cum spilling inside you. Joel’s body falls forward, crowding yours as he buries his head into the crook of your neck, mouth warm as he kisses you.

You both stay like that for a while, breathing heavy until you feel his softening cock slip from you. He rolls onto his back, dragging you with him so you’re leaning against his sweat-slicked chest, fingers drawing patterns through the hair there.

Eyes filled with love, you look at him, give him a small smile as he brings a hand to your neck, tracing where his fingers had been pressing, “Looks red, baby,” His voice is gravelly, thick with sleep, “Was it okay?”

Taking hold of his wrist, you drag his hand up to your mouth and press kisses to his palm. The hand he has around your back drags you up a little and then he’s manoeuvring himself so his mouth can press kisses on the two finger marks he’s left on your skin. You think this might be the way you love him most, soft and sated, gentle and loving.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” You whisper at him, “Stay right here okay?”

Joel reluctantly lets you go. You curse him every time you have to walk down the hall to the bathroom for not buying a home all those years ago with an en-suite, especially when, by the time you come back, he’s flat out on his back, lightly snoring.

You take a moment to stand in the doorway, look at him painted in moonlight. He’s beautiful like this, none of those worries he has etched on his face. You love him, more than you’ve ever loved anyone before.

Padding quietly over to the bed, you settle under the sheets, draping an arm over his middle, your head pillowed on his shoulder. In his sleep, he pulls you further into his body, arm over your shoulder, other hand resting on the arm you have draped across his tummy. If this is what peace feels like, then long let it last.

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pupcuck · 4 months

Text

JINGLE BELL COCK !

ft. leon s. kennedy x fem!reader

tags. p in v, uncle/niece incest, somno

notes. MERRY CHRISTMAS!! this is very messy and rushed i haven’t been able to write properly lately so forgive me for the repetitiveness and clunkiness!! ignore typos as always :3 feedback n rbs always appreciated !!! this is reallyyy sloppy and I’m embarrassed so I may go back and delete and rewrite in a few days time 😭

tumblr has started to remove fics that use tw non-con, tw incest and any nsfw tags in general. for this reason, as i’d like my fic to appear in the tags so i can have the same reach as other authors, please understand that this fic contains dark content under the cut. reading this comes at your own risk.

“Woah,” Leon's knees almost buckle when you barrel into him, “Pumpkin, wow,” He takes you in, settles his hands on your hips, and it might be inappropriate ‘cause your mother glares at him over your shoulder. What did she want him to do? Grab your ass? Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve. Just doesn’t wanna get put on a list of some kind. “You’re so big now.”

“Yeah?” Your cheeks split with a sweet smile, “I missed you, uncle.”

“God, you’re so big I can’t believe it,” He gives you a once over, he’d like to catcall you to show you how he feels, Leon refrains from doing so. “I remember when you were a kid, always sat in my lap ‘n said you wanted to marry me.”

“Awww,” A gloved hand comes to pat his cheek, you take the tip of the fabric between your teeth, taking it off finger by finger, “I can do that again if you’d really like, uncle.” Your nails scratch his scruffy chin, press your finger into the divot he hates so much, then you stare right at it. Don’t look at that, god. Totally messed him over. Shit fucked up his golden ratio.

“What're you lookin’ at, pumpkin?” He shifts from foot to foot, moves his flight bag from one shoulder to the other.

“Just never seen you with a beard,” You shrug, beaming at him once more. Okay, not the chin then, thank fuck. “It’s cute, uncle, makes you look older.” Leon doesn’t know if that’s good or bad, though he feels his spinal disk shrink with each passing second.

You turn on your heels when his sister-in-law, fine as ever, says your name, “We should go before she gets pissy.” You tell him cheekily, taking his hand in yours, and you’re so big now he can’t believe it. A whole lot of tit, hip, and your ass ain’t too shabby either. Leon’s justification is that he’s only a man, can't help himself when he sees a pretty girl, even if said girl is his niece. He’s an honest guy, gotta give his brother props for marrying such a smokeshow, even more credit for knocking her up. ‘Cause she popped out an even hotter girl, younger, brighter, and your tits sit prettier.

Their family stands on crumbling foundations, when he’s around his brother, Leon’s five seconds away from blowing his brains out at any given moment. He doesn’t know why people question his suicidal tendencies, he’s more than willing to show them. Snow crunches under his boots as he navigates the path leading up to the front door. The layer of glossy red paint has chipped away to reveal the mahogany beneath. It’s been that long, huh?

“I’m in college now, I have my licence and everything, uncle, I wanted to visit you in D.C. but I couldn’t get ahold of you,” You chatter to him, tugging at your laces and propping your shoes up on the shelf near the door, make the move to grab his suitcase, but Leon swiftly moves it aside. “I can carry it, I’m a big girl now.”

“No, you’re not,” Leon frowns, to him you’re a baby. An undeveloped prefrontal cortex and a soft spot on the top of your head. Yeah, you got a rack now, sure, he wants to fuck you now - doesn’t change a thing.

“Okay, well did you bring me a present?” You trail after him, and you really are still a baby.

“Yeah, you’re my favourite girl, I bought you lots.” He’s not sure if you’ll like it. Colouring books, dolls, plastic jewellery. He’s a bit of an idiot. Didn’t think about how long it’s been.

“Can I open them now?” You seat yourself next to him on the couch, knee bumping his.

“Later, pumpkin, I promise.”

“I want to transfer to Washington.” Wine trickles over the edge of your cup, Leon soaks it up with a napkin, dabs at your face when a rivulet dribbles down your chin.

His brother’s knocked out in their dad’s old armchair, it’s beyond saving, but he’s cheap. Your mom retired to bed a while back, they argued over something trivial, a cheeseboard or some shit, and with that it leaves the two of you.

“Yeah? You got friends out there or what?”

“No, but you’re there, uncle.” You grin, batting your lashes so pretty he gets without popping a viagra or two. Three. He needs three minimum. “I could come stay with you, right?”

Fuck no, under no circumstance should he be allowed within fifty feet of you. And here Leon is, bumping knees, brushing fingers like you’re lovesick teens on a first date. That’s just not right, is it? He’s a decrepit old man on his way to getting a senior bus pass, and he’s your uncle and all. Can’t really go around popping boners over family members.

“I work too much.” Leon says coolly, sweat dripping from his temple, drumming his fingers against the table. “Hey, you wanna open your presents?”

“Yes!” You nod with wild enthusiasm, like a bobblehead, cute ones you keep on the dashboard. Leon would love to take you home with him, display you on the mantle like a China doll, show you off like some rare artefact. Just can’t, he’d end up doing something awful, peeking in on you showering— or worse he’d start sleepwalking, get into your room- “Go get them then, uncle.”

The paper is pink, the shade you used to adore as a young girl, the colour you’ve since painted over in your room. He got that professionally wrapped, big bow on it and all. Leon’s not good at making things look pretty. It’s easier to assemble a gun than it is to wrap presents. Your name is scrawled on the tag in cursive writing that belongs to none other than Claire, she insisted on doing so, felt inclined after seeing his chicken-scratch.

“It’s for me, you shouldn’t have, uncle!” You snatch it out of his hands, Jesus, had more manners when you were a kid. Once you tear through the paper, you blink down at the plastic princess costume jewellery. Clip-on earrings, fluffy mules that are much too tiny, the whole lot. “Oh, wow, well, it sure is nice.”

“Pumpkin,” Leon starts, “It slipped my mind that you’re a big girl now, I wasn’t thinkin’ and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” You placate him with your smile, “I’m just glad you’re here.” Cheesy, still makes him swoon.

“We can go shopping ‘fore I go back, I’ll buy you whatever, yeah?”

“I don’t need that,” You shake your head, eyes flitting from his lower half then to his lips. He’s making shit up in his head now. It’s late, Leon should go to sleep, doesn’t wanna start kissing on you and end up in court. “Oh, you’re going already?”

“I’m tired, pumpkin.” My dick is so hard it’s cutting off all blood flow to my brain, my pants are squeezing it so tight I’m gonna contract sepsis and that shit will fall straight off, I don’t want my dick to fall off, pumpkin, hope you can understand my reasoning. Leon hopes you can see the desperation in his eyes, that you can see the sentiment he’s trying to get across.

The bed creaks with his weight, and it’s the same dusty, bed-bug ridden shit his brother’s had for years. He jerks off, blows his load on his stomach, too worn out to clean it up. Falls asleep with his hand down his pants. Then Leon starts having wet dreams like he’s twenty-one again, of your petal lips, of your hands on his dick, your tits, how your thighs look when you sit. Warmth engulfs his cock, and it’s so real, he’s so sure you’re right there, sucking him off like a good girl. You’re cute like a sex doll, and it’s unfair that he has to put on this uncle act. Used to come natural to him when you were a kid, but it’s just different.

Only when Leon lifts his hand does he come into contact with skin, with hair, and a human. At first, he thinks it’s the dog, one of the three. Then he feels small hands parting his thighs further, the familiarity of your smile warming his skin.

“Pumpkin.” Leon rasps, and it’s not quite warning, just a tone that says keep going, but this is fucked up, doesn’t mean I don’t want it though. He thanks you for making the first move.

You pull off with a wet pop, kissing along his Apollo’s belt. “I want to come to D.C. and stay with you,” You say between fervid kisses, “I want to be with you, uncle, you’re handsome and I like you.” Your confession is feverish, he wonders if you realise the weight of your words. Can’t go around telling lonely old men that you like ‘em.

“I’m your uncle, pumpkin.” Leon states simply, ‘cause he’s an adult and he’s collected, but you can keep pumping his dick like that, he really don’t mind.

“No one would know,” You kiss the sticky tip, pre smeared over your lips like lip gloss, tongue poking out to taste him, dipping into his leaky slit. “I could be your girlfriend.” Leon doesn’t even know you, he knows the little girl you once were.

Leon’s too old for that shit. Girlfriend boyfriend talk. “I’m too old to be dating, pumpkin.” He cradles the back of your head with his calloused hand, guides you to base of his shaft, your tongue tracing the vein that runs along the underside of his cock.

“Yeah, but you’re not too old to marry me, are you?” You’re a clever girl, giving him a cheeky smile as you sit up and clamber into his lap.

“What’s gotten into you, pumpkin?” Don’t stop, pumpkin. Same thing. He hopes his dick says enough, standing proud as you lift your hips, wet hole stretching to accommodate his fat tip. Leon can’t see your face, but he shuts his eyes and thinks about it, how your lips would part so pretty, and you’d toss your head back, sweat making your skin all shiny.

“I just really like you, uncle.” One way ticket out of this shitty town, away from his shitry brother, away from your narc bitch of a mom, free food, free housing - Leon understands your motive. Truly, he does, and he can’t find it in himself to give a damn. If you pretend to love then it matters all the same.

“Okay, then sit on it, pumpkin.” Leon urges, firm hands finding purchase on your hips, forcing you down on his cock till you take all of him to the hilt. The head bumps your cervix, and Leon is in love with you. Thank fuck he came back home, thank god, thank Claire for pushing him to the point of booking a flight. “You wanna marry me?”

“I told you, didn’t I? Promised I was gonna marry you when I was a kid.” You press your tits flush to his chest, lips ghosting Leon’s. “I wanna marry you so bad, uncle, you’re all I want.” And Leon can’t help himself, doesn’t mean to let go so early, the coils of heat in his belly turn searing, and he empties himself into you with a groan. The quiet noise of disappointing you let out as his cock softens inside of you is adorable.

“You gotta get used to that if you marry me, I’m old now.” He strokes your head, holds you tight, refuses to let go now that he’s got you.

“I can deal with it, uncle, as long as I get to be your wife.”

#leon s kennedy x you #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy smut #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut

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bangtanficsforyou · 5 months

Text

They Reject You (maknae line)-03

Pairing: maknae line x reader (fuckboi! Jimin x Reader, Co-worker Taehyung x Reader, Idol Jungkook x Reader)

Warnings: swear words here and there.

Word count: 20K (approx)

A/N: long long long asf! (There's author's note at the bottom too).

Park Jimin

Jimin may have been very determined while pledging that he will make things right but right now, he's utterly confused and clueless.

How exactly does he make things right?

If he were to go by the way movies suggest, he should be sending you chocolates and bouquets of flowers. But the question is, will that do? Will that be enough? Can hurting someone emotionally be fixed by something material?

He doesn't know.

Oh, that's another thing. In recent days, Jimin's mind has been throwing questions at him which he has no answers to. Which, needless to mention, has been frustrating him to no end.

He feels like there's a lot he needs to figure out before taking any action. Because lord knows he doesn't want to mess up again and given his history he has a habit of doing exactly that over and over again.

The question that has been bugging him the most is; why does he even want to fix things with you?

It's a question Jimin wholeheartedly avoids thinking about. Because he doesn't have an answer and thinking about this particular question makes him feel a little too uncomfortable.

However, to him, the question also feels like a big empty blank that he needs to fill in order to make sense of what he should do next. Almost as if, if he figures out this one thing, he will have all his answers.

Which again, doesn't make sense to him. How can figuring out one thing give answers to the rest? But again, he should begin somewhere. Which obviously isn't going to be answering the big question.

Hence he does what he has been doing for the past few days; searching for ways to apologise on YouTube.

It's quite obvious that his YouTube searches haven't been very successful. But in his defence, it isn't Jimin's fault. It's YouTube's.

Almost every video that YouTube suggests as a response to his search, has this implication that the girl being apologised to, is the lover of the person seeking forgiveness.

Huh?

But that's so not the case. You're not his lover.

At some point, Jimin got so frustrated that he went on a mini rant to Taehyung, about how this is the 21st century and how a boy and girl need not always have a romantic relationship. And it's while he's ranting via text that he is hit by the brilliant idea of inviting Taehyung over. After all, if there's someone who's better than Jimin when it comes to the ladies, it's Taehyung.

Half an hour later, Jimin couldn't rush to the door any faster when the bell rang.

Taehyung greets the troubled boy with a scoff of disbelief. "Never seen you this excited over my arrival, ever."

Jimin is the least bit interested in paying attention to his best friend's teasing. "You gotta help me. It's already been three days and I haven't been able to figure anything out."

"It's about making up to that girl, right?" On receiving a nod from Jimin, Taehyung continues, "What was her name again?"

"Y/N."

"Right, Y/N," Taehyung makes a note to himself, having a hunch it's a name he will hear quite often. "So where exactly are you stuck?"

Jimin leads his friend to the couch so that Taehyung can have a look at the screen. "Just look at the results. There are literally thousands of responses but not one that's of use. What's the point of having internet if it can't help you when you need?!"

Taehyung snickers. "Yeah, you did go on a half an hour rant about it via text."

Jimin huffs at the way Taehyung seems to not share the same level of frustration as him. But alas, maybe him being in a light mood is a good thing after all. That way Taehyung can think optimally and come up with a solution and then Jimin can finally have a good night's sleep.

Gosh when Jimin thinks about it, it sends shivers down his spine. He really needs to sleep.

"Great! You know all about it, so now get on with it," Jimin speaks with a firm nod of determination and turns his body ninety degrees so that he is entirely facing Taehyung.

And then just keeps staring.

Taehyung stares back for a second or two and then bursts out laughing. He laughs so hard, that his ears miss the questions Jimin throws his way, querying about the cause of his laughter. He laughs so hard, that he has to place a pillow against his stomach because it has started hurting. He laughs so hard that it takes him a total of five minutes to stop.

When he does stop laughing, he utters a sentence that sends Jimin into a similar laughter fit.

"You're so in love."

Or maybe wait.

Jimin doesn't laugh.

Jimin blinks at Taehyung blankly and then scoffs in annoyance. Taehyung can't be serious. "I can't believe you're in the mood of making jokes when I'm so stressed."

"Oh, I can assure you, I'm not joking," Taehyung shakes his head with a chuckle, denying Jimin's words. "You're definitely in love."

Jimin pauses. He doesn't like how sure Taehyung seems to be of his words. It makes Jimin realise that Taehyung isn't joking. Taehyung really thinks Jimin is in love.

Huh.

"Don't you think I'd know if I was in love?"

Taehyung snorts. "Clearly not."

Now Jimin's curious. "What makes you so sure of your words?"

"Hmm, let's think for a moment," Taehyung responds, pretending to think deeply for a moment. "You have been worried sick, haven't been behaving like yourself and are throwing tantrums like a five-year-old kid. All because a girl hasn't been talking to you–"

"That could simply mean she's a very good friend to me," Jimin counters even before Taehyung can finish his sentence.

"Well, you don't kiss your friends while drunk."

Jimin shuts up at that, not because he agrees with Taehyung's statement but because he needs a moment to figure out what to reply to that. He needs to think of something that is a justifiable reason for why he had kissed you in his drunken state of mind.

Unfortunately, the best he comes up with is; "I didn't know what I was doing. I was drunk. Plus, me kissing someone shouldn't be news, drunk or not."

Taehyung nods. "Right, that's your thing. Kissing and sleeping around."

For the first time in his life, Jimin feels an odd sensation in his chest at the mention of his player lifestyle. He can't place why (another thing he can't figure out, yes) but for the first time he wishes these words were not used to describe him. But admittedly, that's who he is. It's only normal to describe him by who he is.

Jimin keeps quiet as a sign of letting Taehyung know that he can go on.

"But surprisingly enough, since Y/N has stopped talking to you, you haven't fooled around with anyone," Taehyung squints his eyes, looking like a detective who's trying to solve a complicated riddle. "Wonder why that might be."

Jimin misses the sarcastic tone completely because he's taken aback by his friend's words. It's only now that he realises that he indeed, has not fooled around with anyone in the last week or so.

It's true that he has been going to parties and have been getting drunk and have been doing what he usually does. Except for one thing, it seems. Hooking up.

Oddly enough, the thought of hooking up with someone didn't even occur to him. It's not like he restrained himself or something. It's like he forgot that aspect of his life, entirely.

What the fuck.

Taehyung silently watches the realisation play out on Jimin's face. It's entertaining, to say the least. His sweet fuckboy of a friend is in love and has zero clue about it. How sweet.

He only hopes Jimin comes to his senses while this denial is still sweet and not when it's all bitter and sour. But looking at the way Jimin is struggling, one thing is for sure and that is, he isn't going to get his 'happy realisation' just yet.

"Your bulb will take time to light up," Taehyung interrupts Jimin's thoughts, "Let me just help you with the apologising thing."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has been standing in front of your door for five minutes now. With a huge flower bouquet at that. Because according to Taehyung:

"It's not what you give that matters, it's the thought you put into it. It could be flowers, it could be chocolates–yes I know, at the end of the day they are mere materials. But what's wrong with that?

You've gotta start somewhere. What's important is that you show her that you have realised your mistake, you're sorry and that you'd never do something like that ever again. Sending gifts is not all. It might not earn you her forgiveness but it shows that you're trying and that's something."

Hence, despite not considering sending gifts as an option at first, here Jimin is, doing exactly that. But then it's not like he could come up with a better idea himself and he thinks Taehyung is right, he should at least start somewhere.

But he wanted to make it as meaningful as he could. Which is why he did a little research and showed up here himself. He needs to do just one last thing, press the calling bell.

He sighs and tells himself that there's no point in delaying it, the sooner he does it, the better. Plus, it only means that he will be able to see you after another three-day stretch.

The thought of seeing you again, does it for him. He presses the bell and with a bated breath, waits for you to open the door.

Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long. You swing the door open and Jimin is relieved that your reaction on seeing him is that of surprise and not that of disdain. He would have run in the opposite direction and would have been too ashamed to face you had that been the case.

Despite not running away, Jimin seems to have lost his capability to talk, for all he does is stare at your face. It gets to the point where you have to be the one to ask him what he's doing at your doorstep.

Jimin looks away as soon as he snaps out of it and remembers what he's here for. He still doesn't speak and just pushes the bouquet in his hands towards you and urges you to take it.

It's not like you hadn't noticed the bouquet, it's unmissable really. It's this big, gorgeous arrangement of pink roses and the lighting of the hallway falls on the flowers in a way that makes it look like a portrait. When Jimin tries handing over the bouquet to you, you're once again taken by surprise and out of instinct you take hold of the bouquet without a second thought.

The moment Jimin knows that you have the bouquet, he takes a few steps back, bows to you and takes off.

Well, guess he did run away, after all.

You don't even get the time to question him as to why the sudden flowers as you stand there for a moment until you're sure that Jimin isn't coming back. With a confused sigh, you head back into your apartment.

"I should put them in water," you mumble to yourself and rest the bouquet on your centre table.

However, it's at this very moment that your eyes land on a piece of paper that seems to have been folded with great care and has been kept in such a way that it isn't visible from the front but only from the top.

With a small frown of curiosity, you take the paper out with your fingers. On unfolding, you find a small printed note on the left side and a handwritten note on the right.

The left side of the note read: "Pink roses signify gratitude, admiration and appreciation."

The right side of the note read: "You're not the stupid one, I am."

There's a brief moment where you are clueless and you have to think as to what Jimin could possibly mean. However, it doesn't take long for you to figure it out as you're hit with the memory of letting Jimin know how he has made you feel for a very, very long time.

One particular line sticks out and you have a hunch that his note refers to that.

"I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn’t even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve.”

Huh.

Is...Is Jimin apologising?

No way.

After that day you had thought Jimin would either just stop talking to you or would just show up a few days later as if nothing ever happened. Never had you considered that he would choose to apologise. But apparently, that's exactly what he has decided on.

Wow. This is way more surprising than the sun rising in the west.

You do not doubt that he must have taken the help of some of his friends but that's only fair. You can imagine how hard it must be for someone like Jimin to apologise to someone.

You shake your head in amusement and bring a vase filled with water to place the flowers in.

Honestly, you hadn't thought much about Jimin since that day. The way you felt lighter after saying what you had wanted to for a long time, was incredibly freeing. You were also proud of yourself for finally standing up and for sticking to your decision to cut him off. It made you wish you had done it sooner.

But now that Jimin is apologising, in his own way, you are a tad bit surprised that it doesn't throw you into a mental debate. That you don't have to battle yourself on what to do.

Things are pretty clear in your head.

You forgive Jimin.

You had forgiven him long before he even sent you the flowers. With your bottled-up emotions out of the way, it gave you the clarity you needed to see things for how they were.

You had always had a weak spot for Jimin. Jimin, not so much. You were just another girl to him. But the thing with having weak spots is that they make you vulnerable.

But Jimin is Jimin. He has no clue about these kind of things. Does he? For you, to expect Jimin to understand the sensitivity of the matter, was basically setting yourself up for disappointment from the get-go.

It's the same as looking for a mango in a banyan tree. It's fruitless.

That does not mean, that you blame yourself. When emotions that are beyond your control, get involved, the practical mind is forced to take a back seat. Romantic affection is for sure one such feeling where one tends to lose their thinking and decision-making capabilities.

You forgive Jimin. You also forgive yourself.

Does that mean you'd be okay with being friends with Jimin, again? No, you cannot bring yourself to do that.

The trust and faith you had put in him has been broken and that's enough of a reason for you to move on.

So what is Jimin to you, now?

Someone you still have a weak spot for because it's not like you wake up one day and suddenly all your feelings you harboured for a person disappears. But you know you want to move on. You know you do not wish to go back to sharing the same dynamic with Jimin ever again.

And this time your decision does not come from a place of hurt, anger or frustration. This time it comes from a place of clarity and acceptance, which is also why it doesn't seem difficult to follow through with your choice.

Nevertheless, you do appreciate Jimin giving you flowers. Although, you think there was no need for it.

For a brief moment, you contemplate if you should be texting a thank you to him but then decide otherwise when you remember that you have blocked him. Even if it's for the short span of two minutes to send a text, you don't think you're ready to unblock him just yet.

For the time being you simply settle for putting the vase at the top of one of your drawers and taking good care of them.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The next day it was a bouquet of white flowers with a note that read:

I'm sorry; on the left and I know flowers won't earn me your forgiveness but I'm trying; on the right.

It once again was Jimin at your doorstep and once again, before you could say anything, he had decided his job was done as soon as the flowers were in your hands.

You were too flabbergasted as you had thought that the whole giving you flowers thing was only a one-time thing. You didn't think Jimin would show up for a second time, just the day after, to give you another massive bouquet.

Maybe you should have seen the same thing happening on the third day but somehow you didn't and were just as surprised, if not more, when Jimin showed up with another bouquet on the third day.

Before you could say anything, Jimin was gone.

Which is exactly why you now find yourself unblocking his contact.

You: hey

You: just letting you know I appreciate the flowers but you do not need to send them anymore

You: I forgive you

Jimin is on the phone with Taehyung getting an earful about his cowardness and running, when he receives your text.

"I'm telling you, this flower thing is not going to work. She hasn't even tried to talk to me"

"From what I have heard you are the one who has never allowed her to even open her mouth and–"

"Hold on, someone texted me," Jimin interrupts Taehyung solely to avoid getting called out for the umpteenth time. However, his eyes almost fall out of his sockets when he sees that it's you. "Tae, Y/N texted me!"

Taehyung, too, is surprised to hear this. "What did she say?"

Jimin takes a deep breath, his nostrils flaring as he fills his lungs up with as much air as possible. "Right, I will open her messages."

When he does read the words you have sent him, he is even more surprised. But even more so, he is relieved. Gosh, he feels like he could cry tears of joy.

"She forgave me," Jimin speaks in a tone that is a little too loud for Taehyung's ears.

However, Taehyung doesn't protest as his friend's words seem more important at the moment. "Are you serious? She did? What did she say?"

"She said that she appreciates the flowers and that I need not send them to her anymore and that she forgives me."

Taehyung pauses for a moment and then grins brightly, the relieved and excited tone of his friend making him feel happy. "Then what are you doing fucker? Text her back, you idiot."

Jimin nods but then responds verbally when he remembers that Taehyung is over the phone and not with him in his room. "I'll text her back."

Saying so, he ends the call with Taehyung and starts typing.

Jimin: Thank you

Wait.

Thank you?

Should he say thank you? Is that the right response? But is sending a simple thank you good enough?

He doesn't think so.

Quickly deleting the typed words, he begins to think of a better response.

If not thank you, then what? How about 'How have you been?' No, no, no. That sounds way too casual.

He should send something that appears to be cool and that doesn't make things awkward. At the same time, he should text something that leaves room for a conversation. A proper one.

Geez, texting is difficult.

What if he tries teasing you like he did before everything happened? No, that would make it look like he never took the matter seriously.

Should he...should he just be uncool and be honest for once?

Should he just let you know that he feels like a bag of stones has been lifted off his chest and that he can breathe again? That he feels like he can think properly, again?

That might be too much.

But maybe he can just try letting you know that he's incredibly grateful for your forgiveness without sounding cheesy? Yeah, he can definitely do that.

Jimin: Thank you.

Jimin: that word isn't enough but that's the best I have got

Jimin: I am incredibly grateful and I promise I won't make you regret your choice.

When you read his texts a few minutes later, you're rather surprised. Is Jimin saying these things? There's no way.

But then you come to a conclusion that, there indeed is no way. Jimin must have made a friend of his type out these words. Now, that makes a whole lot of sense.

You chuckle at the thought and react to his messages with a thumbs up and leave it at that.

The moment Jimin sees you reacting to his messages, he types out another message, one that he has delicately crafted in his mind. Something light that hopefully will lead to a proper conversation.

Jimin: How have you been?

Your phone pings and you notice Jimin's text. Something uncomfortable churns in your stomach at his words. Jimin most likely thinks things are back to normal and that you two will once again bicker and joke around in no time.

Guess, you need to break it to him.

You: I've been fine

You: but I would rather have us not go back to the way we were

Jimin is already in the middle of forming another text that conveys that things won't be the same and that he'd do better but his heart literally breaks into pieces when he reads the next text.

You: I don't think we should be in contact anymore

You: it's a proven fact it doesn't do either of us any good 😂

You: especially me.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has decided to watch a movie. Not just any movie, the fault in our stars. Because he needs something to make him feel sad. Correction; he needs something that he is consciously aware of, to make him feel sad.

It's much much more annoying when you get sad and heartbroken over something and yet you cannot explain why you feel that way. Imagine suddenly getting stabbed by invisible knives that you can't see but can only feel. Yeah, it feels the same.

But who cares anyway? Jimin is watching a movie that will make him plenty sad and unlike you, it won't have him feeling like someone who hasn't been in touch with his emotions for ages.

Taehyung munches on his popcorn slowly, his focus periodically shifting between Jimin and the TV screen.

Taehyung knew something was up the moment Jimin texted him asking if he would like to watch The Fault in Our Stars. For the people who don't know, Jimin does not watch sad movies, like ever. Because irrespective of how much of a fuckboy he is, he is a huge softie on the inside (which is actually very cliche of him). But as his fuckboy-ness would have it, he absolutely hates crying.

Taehyung does not believe that Jimin does not cry or that he tries to keep his tears at bay. Because from the few times that he has seen his friend crying, he knows that he isn't someone who's good at holding his tears back. So no, Jimin does cry and when he does, he cries like a baby. However, what Jimin ensures is that he does not cry in front of anyone.

But here's Jimin, crying in front of Taehyung.

This boy is going to give me a headache, Taehyung thinks with a deep inhale as he once again shifts his focus from Jimin to the screen.

It must have been another fifteen minutes or so when he hears a small sniffle coming from his left. Huh, things haven't even turned that sad in the movie yet.

Taehyung looks at his friend only to realise his suspicions are right when he notices his friend subtly wiping under his eyes.

Taehyung takes hold of the remote and switches the TV off.

He has had enough.

Jimin looks at Taehyung with perplexed features but before he can ask a question, Taehyung is getting up from his seat to turn the lights on.

This makes Jimin quickly grab a few tissues and wipe at the corner of his eyes.

Taehyung rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Sometimes I can't tell if you're a drama queen or a little kid."

Jimin looks at Taehyung with a clueless expression. As long as he pretends he has no clue what Taehyung is talking about, it should be good.

Taehyung simply scoffs and shakes his head in defeat. "Do you want to talk about it or should I just leave?"

This has Jimin facing away from Taehyung and he scowls at the centre table. "I have nothing to talk about."

"Cool then, I have some important work to do, I'll get going."

"Sure do that. Leave me. Everyone does, why shouldn't you?"

Ah. Drama queen, it is.

"So what Y/N left? Like did she leave you on seen or something? Is that why you're so sad and upset?" Taehyung guesses the possible cause of Jimin's state from his words.

Jimin wishes it was that simple. He honestly would give anything for Taehyung's words to be right, for that being the cause of his sadness. But if only.

Taehyung deduces that things might not be that simple when Jimin does not give a verbal answer and appears to become more sulky.

Taehyung makes his way to the couch and claims his previous seat next to Jimin. "What will you take to just tell me what went wrong? I know you're dying to let it out."

Jimin looks at his friend for a moment then suddenly reaches out to grab his phone from the table. He opens your texts and just places his phone in Taehyung's hands.

With a small concentrated frown, he takes a look at the screen and goes through the chats.

"So this is what has gotten you like this," he mumbles to himself. "Have you tried talking to her and telling her that you won't be repeating the same things again?"

Jimin shakes his head. "She never gave me the chance to do so."

Taehyung hums, deep in thought. "What do you want to do now?"

"I don't think it matters."

"It does. Now tell me what do you want?"

Jimin looks up at the ceiling with blurry eyes. "I think I want us to go back to the way we were."

Taehyung, although wanting to, does not show the disbelief he feels at Jimin's words. He keeps his composure calm so that Jimin does not feel uncomfortable. "What you're saying is you want to go back to the way you would annoy her and she would put up with it?"

Jimin's spirit lifts just a little bit when he remembers how things were before and he finds himself absentmindedly nodding.

"Which would also mean going back to the way you would keep sleeping around with people and then at the same time would make flirty comments towards Y/N?"

The tiny little corner of his mouth that had lifted, once again turns into a scowl as Taehyung's words register in his brain. It's as if he's knocked into his senses.

Noticing that Taehyung has successfully managed to grab Jimin's attention, he hopes he can only make Jimin see his point. "Honestly, Jimin have you ever realised where you went wrong? Or did you apologise to her solely because you thought that was what she wanted and that would have her back in your life?"

Questions. Another set of questions. Jimin could honestly scream. But something about Taehyung's gaze makes him unable to run away from the queries like he has been doing all this time.

He considers Taehyung's words for a moment and then mumbles in a small voice, "I don't know."

Taehyung hums, having guessed that answer.

"I just wanted to apologise to her because I know I have hurt her," Jimin keeps his tone soft and vulnerable. "I may not know all the ways in which I have hurt her but I know I should have respected her wishes and should have stopped flirting with her when she had asked."

"I may not know exactly how or why it affected her but I know it led her to be angry–" Jimin breaks off suddenly when a thought occurs to him and soon he looks even more ashamed, "–and they say all anger stems from hidden pain. If that's true then I must have caused her pain."

Taehyung releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. He wonders how his friend can be both stupid and smart at the same time and why exactly does his brain start working when the damage has already been done.

"So you realise that you have caused her some sort of pain?"

"I must have," Jimin agrees.

"Have you then tried figuring out what exactly she means to you?"

Jimin's tears have dried, thanks to the ongoing conversation that has distracted him enough to have the wheels of his brain running again.

"She's someone I care about a lot and someone I want in my life."

"As a friend?" Taehyung pushes.

Jimin nods.

Taehyung hums, "I think you really need to sit with yourself and think things through."

—-------------------------------------------------------

Jimin is dumb and Taehyung is loyal.

Which is why the latter finds himself in the middle of a party, waiting for you to arrive.

A week of Jimin moping and being a sullen child, had Taehyung take matters into his own hands. Jimin could not possibly figure things out by himself even if everyone around him could. Taehyung only hopes he will admit what has been brewing for a long time, when his feelings smack him right across the face.

Taehyung leans against the bar counter, his eyes hardly moving from the entrance as he waits for you to walk through the door.

It takes about another fifteen minutes of his eyes locked on the door, for you to finally emerge.

Taehyung relaxes a breath. He had to do a lot of digging to find a common friend and for him to convince that common friend to somehow convince you to come to the party. He wasn't sure if all of this would work, but now that you're here, success is a step closer.

He gives you five minutes to say your hi's and hello's and then, he's making his way to you.

"And you must be Y/N?"

You look at the guy who seems to know you by your name and frown when you don't recall ever having interacted with him. "And you must be?"

"Taehyung. Kim Taehyung."

Your brain clicks in realisation. Taehyung, a name you have heard Jimin mention many times. However, this is the first time that you get to put a face to the said name.

"I have heard of you," you nod as a feeling of reluctance takes over you. Why is Taehyung approaching you?

He smiles. "I'm not surprised by that."

You return his smile awkwardly and wonder what you should be saying next. "How do you know me?"

"Let's just say I have heard of you as well," his smile turns into a full-blown grin as if he's enjoying this.

"From Jimin?"

"Ah yes. We both have an idiot named Jimin in our lives."

You feel your traitor heart get curious at the confirmation. Taehyung knows of you from Jimin? Jimin talked about you to his friends? The thought of that catches you with surprise as you never thought you were ever important enough to him, for him to do that. You thought you were just another girl who fell for him. However, your curiosity is soon overtaken by the thought of him making light and fun of your feelings.

"That idiot, however, speaks highly of you, which is why I just could not miss the opportunity to speak to you," Taehyung quips, sensing the thoughts inside your head.

You look at Taehyung, wondering what to make of his words. You just find it difficult to believe that Jimin speaks highly of you. One speaks highly of the people they respect and well—no, you don't want your mind to wander there.

"So you're here speaking to me, to verify the things Jimin has said about me?" You keep your tone light, playful and teasing, so as to not come off as rude. While, on the inside, you're really confused as fuck as to what to make out of this. Does Taehyung not know of the recent changes in the dynamics between you and Jimin?

"Oh no, absolutely not," he shakes his head. "I do not doubt a thing Jimin has said about you. I'm only here out of sheer curiosity and with the intent to get to know you better."

And some ulterior purposes. That part he leaves unspoken.

You observe him for a moment and relax a little when you realise that he seems genuine. You don't know, why he's here and what he wants from you, but you decide talking to him won't be of any harm.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Jimin is grumpy as fuck when he walks in and is greeted by the loud music that blasts through the speakers. Goodness, why did he enjoy partying, again?

He really wouldn't be here had it not been for Taehyung's constant nagging that he had something important to say, and that couldn't be done unless he attended the party.

Technically, his words made zero sense. Taehyung couldn't just say whatever important thing he had to say, over the phone? Apparently, according to him, he couldn't.

He prays to whatever god is out there, for the sake of Taehyung that he finds him soon.

The universe, however, has other plans.

Jimjn spots you before he spots Taehyung. He sees you smiling wide and even in the dimmed lights, he can see the way your eyes shine with amusement and joy. As selfish as it is, Jimin feels any amount of hope he might have had, leave at the sight. You're clearly doing fine without him. A part of him wishes you weren't.

It feels eerily similar to the time when he had spotted you on his way to class.

But then he realises you are with a guy. A strange emotion fills him, one that he believes he hasn't felt before, ever. He realises he's jealous. He's so jealous of the lucky bastard who's getting to make you laugh and with whom you seem so comfortable with. With that jealousy, comes a huge wave of insecurity. The guy doesn't seem to have messed up like Jimin did. He doesn't seem to be someone you feel the need to cut off your life. All of which Jimin has done and is.

However, when the light falls on the face of the said guy, Jimin is hit with a sense of anger and confirmation that the said guy is much, much better than Jimin is.

Taehyung is smart, has a good sense of humour and surely knows more when it comes to matters of the heart. Whereas, Jimin has only been confused and no matter how hard he has tried, he has been unsuccessful in clearing up the cloud of confusion.

For a brief moment, he is taken back to the words Taehyung had said to him–you're so in love–which Jimin had found utterly ridiculous at the time. However, now that he finds himself in the hold of jealousy and a brewing insecurity that only you hold the power to put a stop to, he doesn't find the idea as absurd.

He's never been in love before. But somehow he is still hit with the realisation that all his desperation, anger, jealousy and insecurities stem from one thing and one thing only. His love for you.

He is hit with more and more clarity with each passing moment as he stares at you. An overwhelming urge to make you his, washes over him and with strong, determined steps, he walks in the direction where you chat with Taehyung.

The moment the two of you realise Jimin's presence, your smile falters whereas Taehyung's widens.

"Jimin," you whisper, caught completely off guard.

"Y/N," he greets you back. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Me neither," you mumble in a small voice.

"How have you been?"

Neither of you miss the fact that this was the very same question he had asked via text, to which you had made it clear that things would never be the same, instead of actually answering him.

However, now that you both stand in front of each other, you think it would be incredibly rude to not answer him. "I'm fine."

Your short answer leaves no further room for conversation and it's only when you realise that Jimin refuses to avert his eyes from you, that you ask him back the same question.

"I've been anything but fine," Jimin answers, without missing a beat.

His answer is similar to yours in terms of being short and vague. However, his response means exactly the opposite of yours.

You stifle the question that's on the tip of your tongue and push away the overgrowing concern at his answer. This is exactly why you had chosen to end whatever friendship you two had over text. You were unsure of the feelings Jimin would stir within you. Sure, you have made the choice of moving on from him but there was no denying that you haven't moved on yet.

You nod and think it would be best to include Taehyung in the conversation. He would surely know how to break the tension. However, you realise at the same time as Jimin does that Taehyung has disappeared into thin air.

Taehyung's gone, you think with surprise and disbelief, having no clue when he left.

Taehyung's gone, Jimin thinks, beaming with glee and satisfaction.

"Do you want a drink?" Jimin asks, having no intention of leaving.

"I could actually do with some alcohol," you mumble mainly to yourself, but somehow despite the loud music, Jimin manages to hear you. The very next moment he has two drinks in his hands and gracefully offers you one.

"I have a few things to say," he says after a few sips.

Oh god. Please be kind to my heart. You stay quiet. You were not prepared to face Jimin. After texting him that day, you had honestly thought that was it. It was hard for you to send him those words. So incredibly hard. But you knew it was for the best.

A part of you had wished for Jimin to regret losing you. But you knew that thought to be impractical. You knew in reality, Jimin must have slipped into someone's bed instead of giving you a second thought. You had honestly thought Jimin's attempt at apologising with flowers was merely a result of his hurt to the ego. Nevertheless, you appreciate his effort and know better than to have any further expectations from the man.

However, this is incredibly confusing. More so, because the Jimin who was sending you those flowers would run away right after he knew that the flowers had reached their destination. However, this Jimin, stands in front of you with eyes locked with yours, refusing to back down.

"I had sent those flowers to you, because I knew I had to apologise. I knew I messed up. I knew I hurt you. Don't get me wrong, the knowledge that I had hurt you was enough of a slap on my face, but I didn't know what it felt like for you," he takes a pause, "but now I do."

Jimin is aware that comparing what he has put you through with what he felt for merely a few minutes after seeing you with Taehyung, is completely unfair. However, it'd be fair to say he has got a taste of his own medicine and he fucking hates himself to have you put through that, over and over again.

"I know now, because–," he takes a deep breath, afraid you won't believe him, "–I have come to the realisation that I'm in love with you."

Your pupils dilate in shock and after a brief moment, your expressions morph into that of disbelief, much like Jimin had expected.

"I don't expect you to believe it. I know I haven't done much to earn your trust. All I ask is for you to give me a chance to prove myself."

You're too shocked to make coherent thoughts. As a matter of fact, the severity of Jimin's words doesn't click in your brain. How can it, when you have seen it for yourself how appalled Jimin feels at the thought of commitment? How can you digest the thought of Jimin saying these words, that too, to you?

"What do you want, Jimin?" You ask wanting the interaction to be cut short, afraid that the longer you stay in his presence the more you will find yourself inclined to believe his words.

"Let me take you out on a date."

Kim Taehyung

I'm in a relationship.

You absent-mindedly stare at the words on your screen as you feel the mix of emotions resurface yet again.

Taehyung is in a relationship. The Taehyung you love so dearly, is in a relationship. And if you are to go with his status updates, he's quite happy about it as well.

How do you feel about it, exactly?

You feel betrayed, hurt, confused, angry, perplexed, sad, annoyed, embarrassed, lonely, frustrated, upset. These emotions are only a few to name. There's so much you think and believe, you still haven't figured out yet. Anytime, you try to focus on your emotions in hopes that you will be able to let it all out, all you come up with is an empty feeling.

That's another thing. You haven't cried at all. But you want to. You want to just let all of it hit you at once and get it off your chest. Because the heavy uncomfortable feeling that often stirs your heart is not something you wish to deal with for long.

Sometimes your mind comes up with all the little things and moments that had made Taehyung so special to you and you find yourself this close to breaking into uncontrollable sobs. But then it just never happens. It's like someone is pressing the accelerator and the brake at the same time and you're just there, frozen in time, not knowing what to do.

You doubt if you have even fully grasped the concept of Taehyung being in a relationship. The thought that he's in one and you got to learn about it only after he committed, that too through a WhatsApp status, is completely unbelievable to you for some reason. No matter how much you try, a part of you doesn't want to believe it.

It's a whole set of emotions you never thought Taehyung would make you feel. He was your feel-good person, one of your best friends and someone you trusted with your entire heart. It's something you don't even know as to how to react to.

"Y/N!"

You blink back to reality when someone shakes you by your shoulders. "Huh?"

"You zoned out again."

"Oh," you speak in a tone of realisation, "I'm sorry–"

"Nothing to apologise for. Just forget whoever that guy is. He's surely not treating you right if you have this conflicted look on your face all the time."

If only it were that easy. You wish it was that easy.

You chuckle at your next desk co-worker, Shanaya's, words. "I will surely contemplate on your words."

"Men don't deserve shit from us if they treat us like shit," she nods seriously. "And with the way, you have had this sad-confused look in your eyes for a whole week now, I strongly doubt that man is any good for you."

Oh yeah, it's been a week.

Although, you could have been fooled by how the admittance of his relationship remains the last text exchanged between the two of you. You just didn't know how to respond to him at that time. You were too busy absorbing the shock to think of a proper response.

You had just shut your net off and tried your hardest to fall asleep. But you just couldn't get a blink of sleep and since then you also couldn't bring yourself to pretend to be fine with him, when you were far from it.

Maybe you had posted your status a little too frequently to subtly let him know that you're online and well-active on your socials but are simply choosing to not talk to him. On the other side of the coin, is the fact that you feel disheartened that he hasn't made any effort to talk to you. It's the longest the both of you have gone without talking to each other.

A hand waves in front of your face gaining your attention as your co-worker looks at you knowingly.

"See! Not good for you."

You smile at her words and shake your head softly, amused by her straightforward and direct nature.

—-----------

"How are you?"

You roll your eyes before replying. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Hmm," your best friend hums. "On a scale of 1 to 10?"

"Idk man, 7?"

"That's an improvement," she speaks to herself. "Now tell me, have you blocked Taehyung, yet?"

"I won't do that," you reply softly with a tone of surety.

She sighs over the phone. "Babe, he's a dick. Why haven't you cut him off yet, is beyond me."

Your best friend is of the kind whom if you call crying, she'd ask you to first get rid of the person who's responsible for your tears and then she will allow you to tell her what went down for you to cry. If only she were in the same city as you, she'd have committed the crimes herself instead of having to beg you to do them.

She's protective of you, incredibly so.

When you had told her everything about Taehyung, she had muttered to herself something along the lines of how she knew he was gonna turn out to be a dickhead. You never queried her on that because in a way you knew what she meant.

On learning about the situation you and Taehyung were in and about his unwillingness to be in a relationship, she was very firm about making her point that Taehyung was only making excuses. She was adamant that a person who really loves you wouldn't come up with reasons as to why they shouldn't be together. At the time, you had acknowledged what she was trying to say but you added that sometimes people get scared and fear often turns out to be an emotion that is rather difficult to overcome.

With much reassurance from your side that Taehyung was a great guy, she had let go of the topic. However, to say that Taehyung has now earned the entirety of your best friend's hatred, would be an understatement. You'd have been really concerned about his safety had she been in the city.

"He–", you pause briefly, "–isn't a bad guy."

Your friend scoffs. "Right. He's the worst."

"He is nice," you say a little more firmly.

"Oh! Yes please, someone please give him a Nobel prize for his niceness!"

To your surprise the tone in which she speaks, makes you burst out laughing. "You really hate him, don't you?"

"Has he ever given me a reason to NOT despise him?"

You chuckle as your laughter dies off. "Well, I don't blame you. I'd hate the guy as well if I was in your place."

"Hah! So you agree on something with me."

"But," you emphasise on the word, "he's not a bad guy. I don't know how everything turned out to be this way but trust me he has a very tender heart."

"I cannot believe you're making excuses for him, Y/N."

Her surprisingly soft tone serves as a reminder that your best friend is probably one of the most compassionate and understanding people you've ever met. The only time you've seen her behave like an angry child who's ready to throw some punches, is when you get hurt.

And admittedly, you're the same way when it comes to her.

"I'm not making excuses for him, I know him. He'd never intentionally hurt someone."

"But he did hurt you!!!"

"I know and I doubt he realises it," you sigh. "But I need to know his side of things."

"I'm sure he will run if you try to confront him," she grumbles. "He'll probably not even reply if you tell him how much of a dick he's been."

"Heyyy," a childish whine escapes your lips. "I have more faith in him than that. He respects me enough to talk things out."

She makes a sound of complete disbelief, "You bet my ass he would just pull stuff out of his ass."

"We will see," you chuckle.

You had to make up your mind sooner or later and somehow the conversation with your best friend has reminded you of the faith you have in Taehyung. If you need answers, you're sure he'd give them. Most importantly, you don't plan on losing the friendship you have with him this easily. But you don't think you'd be able to just push everything aside and pretend that things are fine. You need to clear it out. You need for him to realise that he has hurt you and you need to know how things changed so quickly.

—————————————————————

You: hey

It took you another day to get the simple three-letter word out of your system. But you do it the very first thing in the morning after waking up. Whatever roller coaster ride of emotion it is going to take you on, you want it over by today.

Thankfully, it takes only ten minutes for your phone to ping to notify you of a message from Taehyung.

Tae 🐻: hello, birdie 👋

A snort escapes you when you imagine all the lovely cuss words that would leave your best friend's mouth if she were to learn of his response to your 'hey'.

You, too, find yourself being amused yet disappointed at how oblivious he seems to be.

You: I'm sorry for not responding to your texts any sooner

Chewing on your lower lip, you click on the send button. While this text is meant to serve as an apology, it also serves as a means for you to know whether he really is as clueless as he seems. You're curious if he's at least aware that something must have been wrong for you to not text for this long.

Tae 🐻: It's okay, don't worry. I understand!

Tae 🐻: work can get busy

Tae 🐻: it's fine!

Sighing, you realise it's fruitless. You need to be upfront as there's no other way for you to go about it.

You: uhmm thanks

You: but before we catch up and all that, can I just get a few things off my chest?

Tae 🐻: sure! Go ahead.

Suddenly you find yourself feeling anxious. You are not quite sure how this is going to turn out and how you're going to put your emotions into words. It sure appears to be a difficult job considering how muddled your brain feels every time you think about the events that have led to this.

You: i don't really know how to say what i want to say lol

You: this is so awkward

Tae 🐻: just say it

Tae 🐻: it's the same ol' me after all

Some of your anxiety softens at his words.

You: i know but i just dk how to say it 😂

Tae 🐻: that's okay

Tae 🐻: would it be more comfortable for you if I were to go offline? and I can check your messages when you give me the green signal to open your texts?

Now that he mentions it, you think that would be lovely. That way you could take your time figuring out how to word your sentences without having the rush of typing things out fast over the worry of him coming to assumptions before you say the full thing.

You: that'd be great!

You: thank you!

Tae 🐻: well then, I'll go offline. You speak your heart out 😌

You: open my texts only when you see a thumbs up or a message that directly asks you to open it. Okay?

Tae 🐻: done 👍

Sighing, you relax on your sofa and think. Now that he's offline, you need to figure out what to say. Rather, where to start because you just have so much to say.

It takes you another two or three minutes before you start typing.

You: so idk how this is gonna sound or how it's gonna get interpreted but I really need this out of my chest for it's been bothering me the last few days.

You: so ummm, you know we both had openly admitted to having feelings for each other and then you told me you weren't really ready for a relationship? And I agreed to things being the way they were because I never wanted to pressurise you. I always wanted to be a friend first, whom you can trust and feel safe with, more than anything else.

You: it's true that we never had a name for what we were. But it's because of that very reason that it always remained very confusing to me as to where we stood. Especially where you stood.

You: i always could have asked in the course of the year as to where we stood but i always let you be because i was cautious that asking you, would in a way, pressurise you.

You: however, that is not to say that i wasn't put in a dilemma when i would get propositions for going out on dates or when someone would ask me out.

You: i didn't know where your feelings for me lied. While I avoided any assumptions, i also didn't act as if you did not have feelings for me. Because what if you did and then my actions hurt you? I knew how much you have been hurt in the past and i just didn't want to add to that.

Your fingers pause as you take a look at what you have covered so far. When you go through your last two texts, you go awry at the thought of sounding like someone who's claiming to have done him some huge favour.

You: I'm not saying all this to say that i have done you a huge favour or something by the way. Or that you owe me something in return.

You: I'm just saying this because when you're so cautious and thoughtful over someone, it hurts to be on the receiving end of actions that make you feel incredibly stupid.

You: it would have been better if you had told me, you know? That "hey, there's this girl i like," and I'm not saying in a way that you had to take my permission or something but just that it would have been nice to know that you thought of me and of what kind of an effect it would have on me.

You: I just wish I didn't have to learn from a WhatsApp status

You pause before thinking if you have missed anything. When you go through your words, you realise that you indeed have missed something important.

You see, in the mix of all the heavy emotions, you also are happy. You're happy for him. That's something you realised the very day you learned about his relationship. It's odd but even in the midst of all the confusion you were feeling, a part of you felt glad.

You were glad that he found someone he loves and someone who makes him happy. You also found yourself excited on his behalf.

You won't lie, you were surprised that you weren't jealous. Before Taehyung, for a long time, you had hardly had any guy in your life except for fleeting crushes. Even then, you can acknowledge the fact that jealousy is a very natural emotion to feel in this scenario. However, when you realised that you were happy for him and that happiness did not originate from a place where you had to force it, you were also proud.

To you, there's no greater testimony of your love than that.

You: i don't think i have mentioned this before but I'm really happy and excited for you.

You: go ahead and open your texts ig 😂

There are questions in your mind that you think would have been better had you asked them. Questions as to how he was unwilling to be in a relationship when it came to you but suddenly found himself being in a relationship a year later?

However, you decide that's something you'd rather not ask.

When you think of it, you indeed find it unfair and there's perhaps that hint of anger that bubbles in your stomach. But you recognise that there's no purpose in asking that question.

It's possible that his feelings for her run deeper than they ever did for you. Or it could be the fact that they work together and it's human that you'd grow close to someone who's there with you physically rather than someone whom you only talk to over the phone or via texts.

But figuring out the why is none of your business. Neither is it something you're concerned with. Whatever the reason might be, he's in a relationship and he has already made a choice. The why is irrelevant now.

Another reason, the why is irrelevant to you is because, you have never found yourself thinking along the lines of what you could have done differently for him to stay and choose you. You have never wondered if it was something you lacked. You'd never let yourself think that way for anyone. Once upon a time, you did. You were filled with insecurities and would question yourself anytime someone would hurt you or leave you. But you have overcome that and have learnt to love yourself. You'd never undo all that progress by entertaining those thoughts ever again. Even if it's Taehyung.

Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen letting you know Taehyung is typing. His text soon arrives making your breath hitch.

Tae 🐻: I have read your texts. Give me some time, and I'll reply to them.

So you'll have to wait.

It's fair you think, he can take the time he needs, to figure out what he has to say.

You only hope you can get over this soon.

—--------------------------------------------------------

It's been an entire day since Taehyung said he'd reply to your texts but unfortunately, he hasn't yet.

You know he will reply, you have that faith in him but you only wish he'd do it sooner. There's that lingering anxiety that comes with being unable to predict what he's going to say.

You have also been wondering if you have worded your words correctly. You found yourself worrying what if you came across as jealous and as someone who's unhappy for him? You really hope you didn't sound bitter because you aren't.

Yes, there's a part of you that is sad because the moments that you thought were special for the both of you, were all in your head. Because you loved him.

There's also this feeling that now you have been replaced. That now, things won't ever be the same. Perhaps, a part of you wishes you could stay in your head a little longer and pretend.

But all of that aside, you also have immense amounts of trust in the friendship you both share. Taehyung is someone who is incredibly kind and loving, and he's a great friend in general and you're sure that both of you would somehow manage to keep your friendship intact.

Penny: Has he replied yet?

You look down at the screen to find a text from your best friend.

You: no

You: not yet

Penny: huh told you

Penny: he's a dick

You smile and shake your head.

Knowing you have a long day ahead, you cook yourself a plate full of breakfast and get ready for work. In a way, you're glad that there's work to keep you busy. You do not know what you'd have done had it been a Sunday. You'd probably have been restless as fuck and would have been checking your phone every five minutes.

Thanks to your workload, you only get time to check your phone during lunch. However, the workload doesn't help with the disappointment you feel, when each time that you do check your phone and find that there's no new message from Taehyung. The disappointment only increases when you realise he has put a status about some funny fact regarding hyenas.

Whatever he sends you as a response to your texts, it better be good to have you kept waiting this long.

—--------------------------------------------------------

It's nine in the evening and you're at home when you finally receive Taehyung's text. Your anxiousness is overpowered by curiosity and impatience as you click on his message. It's a wordy and lengthy one.

Tae 🐻: I was confused, Y/N. Very confused. Although I had confessed my feelings to you, I was extremely confused and scared to take a step forward. When things with Kira ended, I was lonely and sad and my thoughts were very self-destructive. I had zero self-confidence. Talking to you, spending time with you, and texting you gave me the greatest joy and it acted as an escape from those thoughts, feelings and difficulties I was facing at the time. However, if you ask me now, where my feelings originated from, I wouldn't be able to tell. Were they genuine or a result of my love-starved state, I wouldn't be able to tell. But I'm glad it did as it helped me move on from the grief that accompanied my breakup. You have no idea how much you helped me at the time and I was selfish enough to take all of it, without thinking of the consequences, one of which was falling for you. This conversation we are having now is one which we should have had long ago. But I was scared that me not taking the step forward and telling you all this, would make you lose interest in me. Instead, I kept you hanging. I thank you for always being such an amazing friend. I have always loved you but I was too scared to put the tag of a relationship. I mistook my infatuation as readiness for being in a relationship. I'm guilty of all the things you mentioned but I don't know what to do to make things right, as I really don't want to lose the friendship we have. With all that I have done, you'd obviously think that I don't care about you, or at least not as much as you do, but trust me, I do. I have just been shit at expressing my gratitude and telling you how much you mean to me. I'll do better. I just hope you have it in your heart to forgive me for my mistakes. Thank you.

Something that you have been really hoping for, finally happens. You cry.

Fat, angry droplets of tears roll down your face and you close your eyes shut as the searing pain spreads in your chest.

Everything just feels so final and also so fruitless.

Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen and you realise that Taehyjng must have noticed that you have read his message.

Tae 🐻: say something

Tae 🐻: this is making me anxious 😅

Despite your blurry vision and him being the cause of your pain, you feel the need to put him at ease.

You: i appreciate you being honest with me

You: I'll reply properly in a while

You: just let me have a good cry first

The petty part of you wants him to know that you're crying, you want him to know how hurt you are.

Tae 🐻: Y/N?

Tae 🐻: are you okay?

You don't reply, not having it in yourself to lie.

You let your tears flow as you cry silently.

It's too much for you. You feel used. You feel like a rebound. You feel like a bridge he walked on to reach his destination and to move on from his past. Your heart feels walked all over. Your love feels irrelevant.

It's true that you wanted to make him feel good. You wanted him to move on from the hurt caused by Kira. You wanted him to feel good about himself. All because you loved him. But you never thought your love was so disposable to him. That it would only be the means for him to move on to someone else.

What's worse is, despite all of that you understand. You understand that it wasn't a conscious choice of his to hurt you. He, himself, wasn't aware that he was using your love to heal himself.

It's worse because a part of you feels bitter and angry. If you were the one who helped him get over his hurt, shouldn't he show at least a bit of loyalty to you? You feel angry because he didn't communicate, he left you in the dark and just assumed that you must have been detached enough from your feelings for you to not be bothered by his new relationship. But then a part of you understands that as well.

With Taehyung, it's a tug of war where you want to be mad at him and feel betrayed by him but no matter what, your love for him makes you see things from his point of view.

In a way, you find it surprising as well because you never realised just how deep your love runs. Seeing their side of things despite the hurt they have caused? Isn't that love at its purest? However, that makes you ache in pain as well. You loved him as your own. Only to realise that his love for you was merely an infatuation.

His love for you was shallow.

You think it would have been better if he were an asshole whom you could just hate. It would have been easier for you because you'd know he wasn't worth your time. But how do you handle all of this when he's one of your closest friends?

That's a question you'd probably need time to answer. You need time to let the stinging pain in your chest subside. You need time to let yourself process the silent heartbreak you're going through.

With shaky hands and blurry vision, you block Taehyung.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Last Friday of every month, all your colleagues go out to have dinner and drinks together. You enjoy accompanying them because honestly, it is nice and fun, almost like a little treat to yourself. However, this week, you're not really sure you'd like that. You don't have the energy to socialise.

One might argue that with recent events in mind, the best thing to do would probably be just that, to socialise, as it would take your mind off things that have been bugging you. But then you have always been the type who needs energy to socialise rather than the kind who energises themselves from socialising.

You have almost completed packing your bag when someone taps on your shoulders.

"You're coming with us today, right?" Shanaya queries, having a suspicious glint in her eyes as if she's already aware of your plans of not joining.

Shaking your head softly, you confirm her suspicions. However, Shanaya is having none of that.

"You have to come," she insists, sounding determined. "It's my birthday treat."

You're thoroughly surprised at the information. "It's your birthday today? Oh my god, I'm so sorry–"

"It's not today, it's tomorrow," she cuts you off. "But tomorrow is off so it's an early birthday treat."

She looks at you with such pleading eyes that you cannot bring yourself to say no to her. Reluctantly you smile and the next thing you know, you're being wrapped in a warm hug.

"Yay, thank you," she squeals, excited. "Now common, let's go."

As it turns out, today's destination is one stop away. Usually, you all go to someplace that's near and doesn't require transportation. However, Shanaya wanted to take all of you to a particular place that, according to her, serves the best dumplings and noodles. Who can say no to Shanaya, anyway?

As you sit there and wait with the others for the bus to arrive, you look at the screen with Taehyung's conversation open.

It's only yesterday that you unblocked him. You were well aware that you'd be unblocking him and talking to him again at some point. The friendship was too precious for you to let go. And it's not something you're saying simply because you love him. If you were to look back, Taehyung has never been a bad friend to you. He's been there for you whenever you needed. He has never let you down when it comes to friendship.

However, you doubt you're ready to talk to him just yet. That doesn't mean you don't want to.

There's just so much that you have to tell him. The little things that have occurred over the course of the two weeks that you had him blocked. Everything feels a little incomplete unless shared with him.

Your fingers hover over his profile picture and you hesitate to click on it. He has uploaded a new profile picture and you wonder if it is too weird to just stare at it.

"Y/N?"

The sound of your name startles you and while trying to hide your phone screen, you accidentally end up clicking on the small call button right next to the profile picture.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You cut the call immediately and stare at the screen which now shows his name at the top of your call logs. He's gonna see a missed call from you, shit.

"The bus is here, Y/N."

Oh right, that must be why Mike had called for you. You quickly gather your thoughts and get on the bus, shying away from the worried look Shanaya throws your way.

When you get a seat on the bus, the first thing you do is shoot him a text. You indeed are not ready to talk to him but your accidental call has ruined your plans.

You: I'm so sorry

You: i called you by mistake

You know it will probably be a while until he sees your call and your text and it's a good thing that you have your co-workers to accompany you. That way you'd be distracted enough to not fret about it unnecessarily.

All of you get down when your stop arrives and make your way inside the small restaurant.

The chatter and the giggles and the latest gossip about your boss is enough for you to temporarily ignore the sinking sadness that sits at the pit of your stomach.

"Y/N, drinks?"

Your colleagues are well familiar with the answer to this question. You don't prefer drinking. The reason behind that, however, is not known to them.

Like the majority of people, you enjoy getting drunk and letting it loose. However, you're the kind of drunk who gets giggly and finds every little thing amusing. And for some reason, you feel comfortable to let that part of you out, only in the presence of a few people. Four, to be exact.

One, your best friend. Two, Min Yoongi. Three, Lee Sana. And four, Kim Taehyung.

Needless to say, you hardly ever get the chance to get drunk.

The usual answer rests on the tip of your tongue, but there's also this desperation for you to let go of the heaviness. You really could do with some giggles and amusement.

"I'd probably have some whiskey," you reply with a shy unsure smile as your colleagues cheer.

The night somehow refuses to come to an end as you all soon find yourselves seated on the floor of Kate's apartment, in a circle. It starts off with some dancing and then Nitesh takes up the guitar and starts singing. He's a good singer, you can appreciate that and everyone's having fun with big smiles on their faces as they clap along with the beats.

You have had three shots so far and for the love of god, you still feel that melancholy. It heightens when you realise you're sad in such a fun environment. Despite wanting to join them in their fun, your mind keeps wondering what it would be like if Taehyung were here. Gosh, it's been so long since the both of you have hung out and truthfully, it has never bothered you before. Whatever communication you two had was more than enough for you. Sharing the little details about your day, sending him silly stickers, all that held more meaning to you than he probably ever realised. That was much more intimate to you than anything physical.

You shake your head to yourself when you realise you're here being sad over a guy who wasn't even your boyfriend. It's so ridiculous.

But then again, despite the lack of a label, you were loyal to him with your entirety.

Geez, the alcohol seemingly has made you more sensitive.

"You sure are having fun," Shanaya comments. "I'm assuming the alcohol didn't help much?"

It doesn't take rocket science for someone to figure out that if a person who's never said yes to drinks before suddenly willingly says yes to them, there must be some pain they are trying to numb.

"Surprisingly, no."

She hums. "Wanna talk about it?"

Shanaya has asked this question to you multiple times over the span of the last few days. Never has it made you feel as if it's coming from a place where she is prying for details. It has only made you feel as if she's letting you know she's all ears, whenever you need her. Each time, you have shrugged as if it's not a big deal, as if it's not important enough for you to talk about. However, now, you really could do with a shoulder to cry on.

Hence, you vent and even amid all the noise and music, she intently listens to your words without interrupting even once.

When you finish, she releases a heavy sigh. "That's what you meant when you said it was complicated."

You chuckle at the reminder of the response you had given to your then-new co-workers, to being asked about your love life. You were so cautious of hurting Taehyung, having no idea that it was going to be him, hurting you.

"Do you plan on being friends with him?"

You don't miss the edge her tone has, as if she believes it's not worth it. Either that, or she thinks it's not possible to be friends with someone who's hurt you like that.

"I do," your reply is instantaneous.

"Don't you feel angry?"

"I do," of course you are angry. It would be absurd if you were not.

"Are you sure that is a good idea?"

You're not. You know the dynamic between you and Taehyung would never be the same again. Things would be different. You have now realised that things which meant a lot to you, perhaps never held the same meaning to him. The dynamic is bound to change. But is that good enough of a reason to cut your friendship off?

"He's only a human. People fall in love and sometimes, they fall out of love. I do not control the way he feels and when it comes to love, I don't think any of us have a control over who we fall for or when we fall," you release a sigh. Maybe it's all the more difficult for you because you still love him despite everything. "He's not in the wrong for falling for someone just because it's not me. I wish he would have not kept me in the dark but we all make mistakes, we all mess up."

"But more importantly, he's a friend first and he's always been an incredible friend to me. Now, I wouldn't be a good friend if I were to ever entertain the idea of making him choose between me and his happiness, would I?"

She remains quiet for a moment, observing you closely. "Do you mean all that you said?"

You nod.

She chuckles. "Well then, you have one of the purest hearts I have ever come across."

—--------------------------------------------------------

You were aware that there were unread texts from Taehyung but had refused to open them until morning. The night was exhausting and more than anything, you wanted to sleep. However, when morning came rolling, there was no avoiding opening his messages.

Tae 🐻: why are you suddenly being so formal? 😂

Tae 🐻: it's completely fine.

Relief courses through your veins at his casual tone. You don't know how you'd have responded had he mentioned you blocking him seemingly out of nowhere. However, there's a small part of you that remains curious if he had even realised you blocked him. Nevertheless, you'd much rather put all of that behind you and move forward.

You: i was randomly scrolling through my phone and the next thing i knew, my phone was calling you

Tae 🐻: lmao

Tae 🐻: blame it on the phone, yes

You smile. Going back to being friends might not be that difficult.

You two chat a bit and catch up with each other about things the both of you have been up to recently. You lose track of time as you make yourself a cup of tea, refusing to let your phone down, feeling excited at the thought of telling him about the things you have been up to.

Tae 🐻: well i have something to tell you

You: uh oh

You: go on

Tae 🐻: so last day me and Bridget went on a date

Tae 🐻: and things got steamy 👉👈

Tae 🐻: if you know what i mean

You very well know what he means.

Your stomach sinks in disappointment.

It's not because you're jealous or that the thought of Taehyung with someone else makes you feel disheartened, you have moved past that. Rather, you feel disappointed that he thought it was something appropriate to mention to you.

Had it been anyone else in some other scenario, you'd have had no issue. Friends, close ones especially, tend to discuss these sorts of things, don't they? However, this is Taehyung and keeping the recent events in mind, he should not have mentioned it to you at all. Especially not when, his new relationship had made you feel as if he didn't bother to think of you, once.

He keeps on going about how it was one of the best nights of his life but you don't find it in yourself to play pretend and entertain him. Although you don't directly ask him to stop, you don't reply to his texts either.

Tae 🐻: Y/N?

The screen reads when he's done and probably upon the realisation that you haven't said anything for a long time.

You: nice

Oh, how you wish technology was advanced enough for the text to be read aloud on his phone in a sarcastic tone.

You: let me tell you about yesterday

You: we went back to Kate's place

You: and i got drunk simply because i was feeling low and sad and depressed and was looking for an escape

You: but that didn't help, only enhanced what i was already feeling

You could have probably avoided saying this but then you wanted to say it. You don't know if he'll put two and two together but it's your own way of telling him that things are still sensitive.

Tae 🐻: you sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken 😂

A loud laugh escapes your lips. Gosh, is this the guy you have been crying over for weeks?

Wow.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Taehyung has let you down, as a friend. More than once.

A few days back, he'd asked if he could send you a poem that he'd written. You had always known he liked writing stuff and hadn't thought much of it. However, upon asking what it was about, he had replied 'newfound love'. Your reply to which had been, 'In that case, I'm not interested'.

You didn't care how that sounded, you were not gonna put up with this bullshit just because it would be impolite.

With each passing day and with each small incident where you feel as if your feelings are totally disregarded, your disappointment keeps growing. You really had not expected this kind of behaviour from Taehyung.

One of the main reasons you had fallen for him was the way he seemed so emotionally wise. He was aware and attentive towards the people around him and was always kind. His recent attitude contradicts all of that.

There is a part of you that also recognises how his recent behaviour has made you detached. You could not say that the Taehyung you fell in love with and the Taehyung now, are the same. In a very twisted way, it made accepting the fact that there's nothing between the two of you, except friendship much easier.

Tae 🐻: Y/N

Tae 🐻: I messed up.

The text comes at around one in the morning. The only reason you're awake is the report that's due in two days. But the incoming text puts your fingers to a pause as worry clouds your senses.

Is he okay?

You: what happened?

Tae 🐻: i messed up

Tae 🐻: i feel so embarrassed

You: can you stop being vague?

Tae 🐻: i sent a vm to Bridget of me singing TS

You couldn't help rolling your eyes when you read the words. Huh, you should have seen it coming.

Unlike other times, for some odd reason, you find yourself leaning towards the idea of entertaining him. Perhaps it's because you haven't had a proper conversation with him for a long time. And also perhaps, because you know this won't go on for long.

You: so?

Tae 🐻: she is a huge TS fan

Tae 🐻: she asked me to sing one of her favourite songs

Tae 🐻: and i cannot ever bring myself to say no to her

Tae 🐻: but like now that i listen back to the audio i sound terrible and i maybe did a British accent while singing

Understandably, you can see where he's coming from. The nervousness that comes with making a gesture for someone you adore and then feeling embarrassed about it, worrying whether they found it romantic or did you make a fool of yourself. And less than one month of being in a relationship is not enough to quieten the nervous jitters.

So, you tell him what you would have, had it been any other friend. Upon further chatting you realise he genuinely feels like crawling inside a hole and never coming out. It doesn't surprise you, Taehyung has always been like that, going for the big gestures and self-doubt creeping in later.

You let yourself enjoy the normalcy and pretend that Taehyung is just another friend of yours and that he isn't someone who broke your heart.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Your phone has been buzzing and pinging since morning. Midnight to be specific. Birthday wishes have been flowing in with notes and gifs and with each message you feel more appreciated than you feel the rest three sixty-four days of the year.

However, with each notification sound, there has also been that hope and expectation that maybe this one would be from Taehyung.

He had texted you a few days back reminding you of your upcoming birthday and although it's afternoon already, you don't really believe that he has forgotten the day altogether.

When evening rolls around, you start growing sceptic. You squirm in your sofa, finally acknowledging that it's very well a possibility that your birthday might have slipped his mind. It makes you go back to the long, seven-hundred-word, letter he had written for your birthday, last year.

The words make you smile.

Do you know how amazing you are? I don't think you do and it will be my job to make you see that.

Sometimes, I think I don't deserve you with how kind and loving you are but I'm so incredibly grateful for you that no amount of words would ever be enough.

I have never met someone like you, ever.

Only a few lines from the massive paragraph that his greeting text was and the corner of your lips lift up. However, the moment is broken when you realise you're smiling.

You shake your head as sadness fills you. You cannot let yourself recall old memories and feel the way they used to make you. It's not an option anymore.

Locking your screen, you sigh. You won't lie, you had really wanted a text from him. Anything that would show you that he still cares for you and the friendship between the both of you still held a chance. It's no wonder that you have been seeking some sort of reassurance after everything that he has done.

It's around eleven at night that Taehyung's name first appears on your notification bar. You grin wide and open your text, glad to have been proven wrong and feeling stupid to have considered the idea of him forgetting your birthday.

A link to a YouTube video.

Your grin disappears just as quickly and disappointment like nothing you have ever felt before, makes its way to your heart.

You leave him on seen.

A day passes and you wonder if he will send at least a belated wish, apologising for not wishing you any sooner. But nope

It's the day after that, the second day past your birthday when you check for any messages from him and you are led to his stories. It's slides of pictures of him and Bridget and the caption is him singing praises of her and telling the world how much in love he is because it's her birthday.

That's your last straw.

It's probably a very small issue, forgetting birthdays and all. But to you, it's not. It just adds up to the pile of things that have made you feel like you were the only one who was taking into consideration the friendship that was at stake.

Plus, it cannot be that difficult to remember your birthday when his girlfriend's birthday is literally two days after yours.

You have had enough. You need to walk out of Taehyung's life.

Considering all that had made you fall for Taehyung, it's incredibly hard for you to believe that he doesn't know what he is doing and that he has forgotten basic decency. The option that was left with you, didn't make sense to you either because it implied he let you down intentionally. But the Taehyung you knew would never hurt a fly.

It made you wonder if it was simply a result of his honeymoon phase that he had forgotten to consider how his actions could hurt people. Maybe he was too elated to think things through. The empathetic part of you understood. But then you shook that away, knowing very well that if you were in his position, irrespective of how happy and high you were, you would never do that.

Maybe you had realised that this was coming from the very day, he hadn't thought twice before mentioning his intimate moments with Bridget. But, boy oh boy, had you hoped to be wrong.

You had given him opportunities to prove you wrong, to give you a reason to stay but he only kept giving you reasons as to why you should leave.

It's an odd sensation that washes over you when you come to the conclusion that this isn't worth it anymore.

You feel sad that the friendship is coming to an end. You're sure you'd miss his company and that there would be days when you mourn the friendship that once used to be. You know there would be times when you'd resent him and there would also be times when you'd feel angry at yourself for giving so much of you to him.

But you won't ever regret your choice of leaving him.

One thing this whole ordeal with Taehyung has made you realise is how deeply you love. How even in the midst of hurt, you were happy for him and how you saw and loved him for what he was and not for what he could be or for what he offered you. It made you take pride in the way you love. You gave him the purest form of love.

A life where you and Taehyung are not friends, won't be your loss. It would be his. Irrespective of whether he realises that or not.

You feel oddly poweful with the knowledge that there was nothing lacking in your love and you'd never dishonour your love by staying where it isn't valued, appreciated and seen.

But you also have a lot to say to him. You are not going to just block him and let him wonder why you did that. No, you'd tell him exactly why you left.

—--------------------------------------------------------

It took you a couple of days to get down everything you wanted to say. There were times when you felt conscious of the ever-growing length of your letter and you had to shake off that feeling because this was going to be the last interaction between the both of you. Why stop yourself from saying everything you want to just because you're worried it'll be lengthy?

You read the words one last time, wanting to make sure that you feel satisfied.

Hello Taehyung,

I hope you're doing fine. I wouldn't know how you're doing because we haven't had a proper conversation in quite some time. Or at least that is how it has felt to me. Nevertheless, I'm writing this because there's loads that I need to get off my chest. So, here we go.

When I saw you for the first time and we talked, I could feel you carried a lot of pressure on your shoulders. Almost like, you had something to prove, like you wanted to show that you weren't what you were perceived to be. Or maybe you wanted to prove that you were more than just what meets the eye. I didn't know what in particular. It felt like you wanted to be seen.

And would you believe, I grew a soft spot for you? Do you know why? Because somewhere, I felt the same way too.

I also knew we would be great friends, lol. You know how? Because I knew you had a heart of gold. You cared for others, you were thoughtful and kind. However, I could feel that you have a habit of being harsh on yourself and it didn't sit well with me. From the very first time we talked, I wanted to be a good friend to you, someone you could rely on, someone you could trust and someone who could possibly make you be a little less harsh on yourself.

Perhaps with the weak spot, I also grew protective of you.

You were desperate for love and at the same time felt unworthy of it. I didn't know why though. I didn't know what had you believing so lowly about yourself. But then you told me about Kira, and it all made sense.

It made sense why you felt unworthy and why you felt the need to prove that you were more than what others saw. Because, you believed Kira's words. You really thought you were unlovable.

Instead of feeling the satisfaction of being proved right, I felt so angry at Kira. I may have clawed her eyes out in my mind more than once.

After learning the scars that she left on you, it only made me wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wished you could see that there was nothing you had to do to be loved except for just being you.

You may wonder why I'm suddenly saying all this. Well, let's just say it's necessary.

When you told me you were falling for me, I was surprised but then I felt myself feeling so warm at the thought of you liking me. It took me a few minutes to realise that I was falling for you too.

But that was it.

We never put a label on what we were and I was okay with it. Because I was okay with what we had, I never asked for anything because you were happy. You were also such a great friend, someone who I could talk to anything and everything about. What more could I ask for?

What's more? I could tell you were slowly coming out of whatever shell you were put in by Kira. I can't quite explain how it made me feel to see you smile more freely, to see you be more confident and be sure of yourself. But to put it lightly, it made me feel damn good lol.

I knew I had some part to play in it. I just didn't know that was the only part you wanted me to play.

I moved past all that, trust me. You using my love as a rebound, making a girlfriend without even letting me know once, I moved past all that. Because, I trusted you when you told me you were confused and confusion is never intentional, is it?

It hurt like a bitch to think that was all my love meant to you. But it was okay, you didn't mean to hurt me. You cared about me. You cared about our friendship. You valued it.

Or so you said.

I don't know if you meant it when you said it. But in case you did mean it, here are a few things not to do to the girl you used as a rebound and intend to keep the friendship with.

First, do not mention that you had sex with your new girlfriend.

Second, do not be dumb enough to say "You sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken" when you are the guy who's caused the damage.

Third, do not send her the song you sang for your girlfriend and seek comfort to soothe the embarrassment you feel.

Fourth, do not ask her to read the poems you wrote for your girlfriend.

Fifth, do not forget her birthday when your girlfriend's is just two days later.

These things didn't hurt me as much as it disappointed me. Would you believe, I laughed when you called me a typical heartbroken guy? When I got drunk the day before, my head was filled with thoughts of you and my heart was heavy with the knowledge that I was only a rebound. That day, even in the midst of alcohol, I chose our friendship over everything. I chose to forgive you. I chose to love you, still. But when you mentioned what you did, I just found it so funny to think that this was the guy I was thinking so much about and was so sad about.

As it turns out, I'm not much fond of thoughtless people.

But still, I hoped that somehow you'd give me a reason to stay. All you did, however, was turn a blind eye to my feelings and disrespected me.

If you were to ask me, whether my love for you is romantic or platonic, I wouldn't be able to tell. I have never sat and thought about it. All I know is I loved you, in one of the most unselfish ways possible.

But that's not to say I don't realise how I deserve to be treated. And that's not to say that I'd stay somewhere where I'm an afterthought.

When I said, I was happy for you and Bridget I really meant it and I hope you don't think that your relationship ever had a role to play in this decision of mine. It didn't, it was solely you that made me choose this option.

But this friendship of ours has run its course.

I would never disrespect myself by putting up with your disrespect. I loved you as long as you were worth it. But the moment you took my love for granted was the very moment you lost my respect and love, both.

If you have made it to the end, then congrats! I didn't know if you'd read the whole thing but truth be told I don't particularly care about you reading it either. I wrote this for myself, not for you.

Before I finish this long-ass letter, let me tell you something; you have lost one of the best people you'd ever meet in this lifetime.

Thank you,

With Love,

The purest form.

Jeon Jungkook

His words echo in your mind and after an elongated pause, you find it in yourself to respond. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook gulps, hating how controlled your facial expressions are. In the months of knowing you, he has never seen you try this hard to hide your emotions. “Me and Niki are not actually a couple.”

“Thank you for rephrasing the sentence but I am afraid that it does not make things any clearer for me.”

Jungkook takes a sharp inhale and meets your eyes with uncertainty. “It’s just a PR stunt.”

It takes a few moments for the words to register but when they do, things start making sense, almost like puzzle pieces falling in place.

Namjoon’s hesitance in answering your question about the truth of their relationship. His lack of shock to the words you had heard Niki speak and most importantly, why Niki might have said those words. The whole relationship is not real to begin with.

“But, why?” The words leave your lips without your permission, before you’re able to catch them.

For a moment, he hesitates, wondering if it’s his place to say a few of the things he will have to, to make things clear. But then he shakes off the worry, knowing Niki won’t mind.

“Both of our fandom, for some reason, ship us together. You know the whole ‘both are maknaes’ thing. Nevertheless, both of our companies thought it would be mutually beneficial for the two of us to put up this false act that we are dating.”

“How is it supposed to be mutually beneficial?” It doesn’t make sense to you. One of the oddest and most toxic traits of the kpop industry is how idols are expected to be loyal to their fans by remaining single. How then, a public relationship is supposed to garner anything except for unnecessary attention and hate?

“Niki is well, dating a youtuber. A female youtuber and pictures of them hanging out together didn’t take long to make it to the internet. Although at the beginning, everyone thought they were just good friends, soon there were questions as to whether it was just a simple friendship and well, people were not really happy with that idea,” he sighs, feeling tired just from thinking about everything that had led to this whole ordeal. “It wasn’t only about Niki dating a girl, it was also about her dating someone that wasn’t me. And of course, it was her girlfriend’s fault for coming between two people who are 'meant to be'. All of which ultimately made it incredibly difficult for the two of them to be at peace.”

You can imagine. The thought makes you sympathise with both of them. From Jungkook's words, it's clear the target was Niki’s girlfriend but you are sure it couldn’t have been easy for Niki to watch someone she loves hurt like that.

You understand Niki’s part of the deal. Putting up this font, would stop the threats and hate aimed at them but what was Jungkook supposed to get from this?

Jungkook looks at you and nods, acknowledging the unasked question. "When the offer first came, our company had turned it down, not seeing how it could benefit me. But I was the one who insisted and agreed."

"Why?"

His discomfort grows and he swallows nervously, trying to gather his thoughts. "People are obsessed with me and Niki to the point where it's very predictable that they would hate it if someday I were to date someone who isn't her. I thought it would be good if we did this thing and people believed that we gave it a shot but it didn't work out. That way it would be one less thing I'd have to worry about while dating someone."

You put the thought behind of how it seems incredibly far-fetched and nod. He has answered your question about the nature of their relationship and why it was necessary. However, you still have a bunch of questions about a lot of things–starting with how crushed you felt when he moved you as Namjoon's make-up artist out of nowhere–but you do not wish to let them see the light of the day.

Turning away, you start shuffling with some of the make-up products, indicating that the conversation is done.

"Please say something," Jungkook pleads, tormented by your silence.

"There's nothing more to say," you mutter, keeping away any emotion from being shown.

"That can't be true."

You hate how sure he sounds. As if he is aware of every thought that's running in your head. As if he knows you a little too well. You absolutely despise how you might have believed the notion, once. Now, however, you do not want to. Because that'd mean he knew exactly how much hurt, his ignorance and pretence as if you don't even exist, caused you.

"Y/N, please. We haven't talked for a long time. Please don't shut me out."

Technically, you have two options. One, to keep ignoring him. Two, to snap at him and let every bit of your anger out. You had initially planned on sticking to option number one as it would make you look just as indifferent as Jungkook. However, now you find the option of letting words out without a filter, very appealing.

"I know, I messed up but just talk to me–" the sound of a shaky exhale meets your ears, "–I miss spending time with you."

Well, that's some audacity.

In the blink of an eye, you're facing Jungkook and taking several steps in his direction. You stop only a few steps away from him but you're close enough for him to notice the agony and pure rage storming through your eyes.

"You better shut your mouth, Jeon."

Jungkook flinches at your warning tone. However, he refuses to take the hint. "Y/N, ignoring me isn't going to solve–"

"Trust me, I'm not trying to solve anything," you speak through gritted teeth. "I'm just doing what I think is the right thing to do after someone disrespects you immensely."

"I wasn't trying to disrespect you," he claims, desperately trying to make you believe in something you don't buy for even a second.

"Yeah, ghosting me out of nowhere is not disrespecting me at all," your voice drops with sarcasm

He feels his heart drop when you use the word 'ghosting'. Did you think that's what he did? Is that what it looked like? Gosh, this has all gotten messed up and he's the one to be blamed.

"I didn't ghost you," he mumbles, unable to look into your eyes and the sight of it causes all the pain that you had buried, to come to the surface.

"Then please explain what it was," you voice waivers and you immediately hate yourself for showing weakness. "Please tell me what you thought you were doing by replacing me without even showing the basic decency to inform me that, yourself?"

He gulps, wondering if you'd even believe what he has to say. Even if you do, would you be willing to look past his stupidity?

"I found your note in my bag", you visibly flinch at the mention of the note. You had intentionally kept from mentioning your little confession, praying to whatever god is out there that somehow the note had been damaged before it reached the hands of the person they were meant to find.

Jungkook notices your change of expression as it turns from hurt to embarrassed to anger and he despises himself for making you feel like that. "I had to make a quick decision and I didn't think you'd like to be my make up artist while I was fake dating Niki, especially without you having any knowledge about the fake part."

You stare at him blankly and try to process what he was saying. Did he–did he think he was doing you a favour by cutting you off?

You scoff, turn around and start packing your things with the intention of leaving the room. You're so done with this conversation.

When Jungkook understands your intention, he's quick on his feet and rushes to be right next to you. "Just give me the chance to explain myself fully."

You don't reply, your insides fuming.

"Y/N please," he begs. "Just hear me out once. Then I'll accept whatever it is that you decide for the both of us."

"I'm not gonna stand here and hear you speak utter bullshit that does nothing but let me down further."

Your voice comes with such a sense of finality that Jungkook knows, no matter how much he begs and pleads, you won't be giving him the opportunity to speak his side of things.

Hence, he doesn't stop you when you walk past him and leave the room. But it only makes him more desperate for the day when you finally find it in your heart to give him a chance. Just one.

—-----------------------------------------------------

Jungkook has been persistent. Perhaps a little too persistent with his attempts to earn your forgiveness. Or at least that's what you assume the bouquets of flowers and little notes you find everyday at work are for.

It's not only the flowers, it's also his constant texting and voicemails. His texts vary from a simple 'hi, what are you doing' to 'please, i miss you' and his voicemails have been a mix of him telling you about his day (something he used to do regularly when you were his makeup artist) to a more emotional version of his texts begging you to talk to him.

You won't lie, his incessant pleadings have made you curious what more could he possibly have to say. What could be so different from what he has already said that he is so desperate?

On one hand, you find an odd sense of satisfaction from not responding to Jungkook despite all his efforts. You don't know what that makes you but after the hurt and embarrassment you felt to the point where you had to numb yourself to block those emotions out, his tries and attempts feel like an ointment to your wounds. On the other hand, however, is a voice nagging you as to how, this cannot go on for long. The huge bouquets that wait for you everyday are soon going to catch attention and if anyone were to catch a hint of who it is from…gosh, you don't want to imagine that.

But when you will find it in yourself to have a conversation with him, still remains unknown. All you know is whenever that will be, it will be solely because you don't want word to go out. Yes, that's all it will be.

Today when you walk into Namjoon's dressing room, there's another bouquet waiting for you. The sight of it causes you to sigh. You don't know what Namjoon thinks of this but you're thankful that he hasn't mentioned it yet. That however, made it quite clear that he has some idea as to who they are from.

You let the flowers be where they are. You have never really taken them home or put them in water, afraid that it would be interpreted as you being accepting of his efforts, when you're far from it. You're still hurt and angry.

If anything, sometimes you despise walking into a room full of flowers as they serve as a reminder of the thoughts you had before confessing to him. You remember thinking how confessing felt like putting a delicate unbloomed flower in someone's hand and whether the bud gets to bloom or not, depends on the person you're confessing to.

If only you had known of the thorns you would be exposed to, back then, you'd never have confessed.

The door swings open softly and Namjoon walks in. "Good morning, Y/N."

"Good morning," you greet him back with a smile.

"So what's on card for today?" He asks before taking his usual seat.

"There's nothing much for today, just rehearsals and then you have a v-live," you mumble. "But firstly I need to do your weekly facial."

He huffs. "Is it the one that requires you putting a lot of slimy stuff on my face and it stays on for like thirty minutes?"

"Yep," you reply with a light laugh. Despite what he says, you have learnt that Namjoon quite enjoys his facial sessions. Unlike a certain someone.

Your smile falters and your sudden change of mood doesn't go unnoticed by Namjoon.

"Have you considered speaking to Jungkook?" He asks after a brief moment of silence.

You're taken aback by his words. Namjoon has always avoided speaking on the matter. He has never even queried as to what you do with the flowers. Hence, his direct way of questioning has you fumbling with words.

"I d–haven't," you change your wording, fearing 'I don't want to', might just be a little too rude.

However, your choice of answer is put to vain with the very next question he asks. "Do you want to?"

"I don't want to," you softly shake your head, mildly afraid how Namjoon will interpret it.

He simply nods, without any trace of judgement. "I'm not saying this because I'm picking sides, but I have known Jungkook since he was a kid and I can tell that he really is sorry.

"Whether to forgive him or not, is completely on you. But put a little trust on him that he must have some reason behind doing what he did. Just hear him out once."

You keep quiet, unsure what to say. Thankfully, Namjoon understands that and soon changes the topic of conversation to something more light-hearted.

Hours later, when everything comes to a close and it's time for you to leave, you find yourself hesitating. Namjoon's words simply refuse to leave your mind. Put a little trust in him. How can you, when he's let you down in every way possible? When he has betrayed your trust in ways that still keep hurting you?

You gulp when you realise there's probably no end to the hurting until you have a chat with Jungkook and hear his side. At least, that way you will know his reasoning behind everything and it will hopefully stop your self loathing for putting the note in his bag. Even if all he gives is excuses, you'd at least have the satisfaction of having heard him out. Later maybe a week, or a month from now, when your emotions subside, you wouldn't have this unscratched itch of not knowing what he had to say.

Maybe, maybe it's for the best that you talk to him.

—-----------------------------------------------------

"Come in," Jungkook calls out in response to the knock at his door and is visibly surprised when you walk in. He quickly gets up from his seat, stuffs his phone in his pocket and with a nervous voice asks, "would you like some coffee?"

You shake your head. You're not here for coffee. "No, thank you. I'm here to talk to you."

He nods as his nervousness spikes. This is what he has wanted and hoped for so long, but now that you're here, he doubts you will believe him. What if you don't? Even worse, what if you do and still don't forgive him?

The both of you get seated and your fingers anxiously play with the strap of your handbag. "What is it that you have been wanting to tell me?"

Jungkook sighs. Pushing the nervousness away, he knows that the only thing in his power is to tell you his side of things. Otherwise, he's powerless.

"For the things I said last day, to make sense, I would have to mention that I like you," he cannot find it in himself to look at you as he says that. "I've liked you for a long time."

The words take you by surprise, and your mouth parts in shock. The shock then morphs into disbelief and denial. He did not just confess to liking you.

"But it's never that simple when you're a famous K-pop idol," something bitter coats his words and he looks defeated. "The consequences of dating me, is something that one doesn't realise until they face it for themselves."

Jungkook has grown a thick skin. But you? He doesn't want you to be someone who ever has to go through things that require you to build a thick skin. He doubts he will ever forgive himself if he were to see you beaten up by harsh words and constant criticism, all because of your association to him.

"I wanted to tell you how I felt but just the sheer terror of what you may have to go through, kept me from doing so," an unwanted shiver runs through his body when he recalls the moments where the fluttering in his chest would always be accompanied by a heavy sinking in his stomach. "It wasn't my choice to stress about these things but I couldn't help myself considering that associating with me had consequences."

Your face falls with each word that leaves his lips.

"It was choosing between giving into my feelings and listening to logic. I tried to be logical and practical for as long as I could. Until, I just couldn't," a humourless chuckle escapes his lips. "I remember thinking that I just need to tell you how you make me feel."

He doesn't voice how there was a part of him that had wished you'd not reciprocate his feelings. That way, even after his sheer selfishness, things would be fine.

"It was around the time I decided on confessing to you, that I learnt about the proposition from Niki's agency. Call me incredibly stupid but I thought if I did this, I'd at least do something instead of sitting and dreading with my hands tied." Jungkook shakes his head, finding it cruel that even after all this, he somehow managed to mess everything up.

Your mouth parts unknowingly when the pieces click. Jungkook's decision to date Niki for the cameras, didn't come out of nowhere and it wasn't as far-fetched as you thought. His decision had come from a place of anxiety where he felt powerless.

"But then I found that note," he cannot help but recall that day fondly. He felt like a kid and often found himself smiling, looking into the mirror. However, that joy was soon wiped off when the situation sank in. "I was so excited and happy, but then I realised that I had already agreed to date Niki."

You hardly blink as Jungkook speaks and due to that, you don't miss the way a smile appears on his lips. But it's gone as soon as it appears, as if he catches himself slipping and reprimands himself for it. It makes you consider the possibility if he was receptive to your confession in a positive way.

"I didn't know what to do, I couldn't imagine letting you know that I felt the same but then going out and holding another woman's hand. Even if it's for the cameras, it's–," he closes his eyes shut as if pained, "–it's horrible."

"I couldn't do that but I also needed to make a quick decision. I thought the only way to go about things was to postpone answering your confession. After the announcement of the breakup with Niki, I thought I could talk to you then and clear things out. At that moment, that was the only option that made sense to me."

His words take you back to the day when you were filled with nervous excitement only for it to be replaced with dread and heartbreak when you learnt that Jungkook had replaced you as his makeup artist, just like that.

"It was stupid, I know," he mutters in a small voice. "I don't have anything to say in my defence except for admitting that I messed things up and I didn't realise what it must have looked like to you, until it was too late."

He paused for a few moments, looking exhausted. "I-I am sorry for everything. I know it's hard to believe but hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. I really just wanted to make things right. If you can, please, forgive me."

You sense that to be the end of everything Jungkook had to say. The way he looks at the floor and refuses to look at you, makes you want to comfort him. But your feelings are too muddled, you're too confused and there's a lot that you have learnt that has left you surprised. You don't think you're in the state of mind to make decisions now.

"Thank you for telling me everything," you keep your voice soft. It gives Jungkook the courage to finally look up at you and his breath hitches when he realises you aren't looking at him with your gaze filled with hate and pain. It gives him hope. "But I need some time to process everything."

Jungkook nods, knowing that's the best he can ask for at the moment. He's relieved that you aren't dismissing his words and feels incredibly grateful that you are taking time to think things through. He knows that you taking time is more for yourself than for him, but there's a hint of a promise that this is not the end of the conversation, that you'll talk to him again. And that's more than anything Jungkook can ever ask for.

—-----------------------------------------------------

The last few days, your mind has been completely occupied with Jungkook's words. Not only his words but also the way he looked refuses to leave your mind. You couldn't find it in yourself to doubt his genuineness and the fact that he was feeling terrible, was displayed in green neon lights.

You had to remind yourself repeatedly that it isn't only about how he feels. You should cater to your feelings and figure out what to do next.

There was also the new revelation that Jungkook liked you. Quite honestly, you didn't know what to do with that information. The whole conversation was melancholic and it must have rubbed off on you for you didn't feel the joy one usually does on learning that their crush likes them back.

Everything was quite confusing. So much so, that it had taken an entirety of five days for you to sort out your thoughts and approach Jungkook.

He sits across from you in a pale blue shirt and black trousers, his body language screams that he's nervous and oddly enough it comforts you to know that you aren't the only one feeling that way.

"After learning everything, I couldn't help but wish you had communicated before. It would have saved the both of us a lot of hurt," you begin with a sombre tone, feeling your heart hurt at the constant overthinking you have had to go through. "Things might have been simpler that way."

"I know," Jungkook nods, not having a single word to defend himself with.

You look at him a moment longer wondering if he would try providing you with a reason for his lack of communication. When he doesn't, you're confused how you're supposed to perceive it.

On one hand, you'd have liked for him to actually have a proper reason. On the other, you're sure Jungkook is aware of his mistakes and his lack of response somehow gives the impression that he's owning up to everything without making excuses.

"But what's done is done and there's no changing it," you continue after a small sigh. "It's for the best that we move on from it."

Jungkook's heart shrinks. By moving on do you mean just never acknowledging the feelings you both share for each other? That's exactly what comes to his mind because you feeling the same way you did, despite the hurt he has caused you, sounds too good to be true. He cannot be shameless either to ask you about it directly. He will take whatever you will give him.

Instead, he asks a question which he knows would eat him alive if he doesn't voice it. "Can you forgive me?"

"I wouldn't have asked for the both of us to move on, if I hadn't already," and then you do something that makes Jungkook feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off from his chest. You smile at him.

Forgiving Jungkook wasn't easy. You wanted to hold on to the anger because your pride was hurt and most importantly, you were scared of getting hurt again. But then you also had to think through things logically.

Jungkook has never had it easy with fame. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the way he has always been under scrutiny and his sudden loss of control over his own life. With time, he learnt that it was for the best to not pay attention to the people who weren't even familiar with him.

He could overlook and turn deaf to the hate that's thrown his way. However, his loved ones being targeted is something that fills him with guilt to an inexplicable amount. You have seen it yourself.

The incident isn't that old. A year back, Jungkook had gone out with a bunch of his childhood friends. He was pictured closing the car door for one of them, who so happened to be a girl. That one single shot was enough for the media and internet to decide there must be something more than platonic going between the two.

You remember the way Jungkook was so troubled and absolutely heartbroken with the hate and threats that were aimed at his friend, for something so simple and it was visible to everyone that he blamed himself for it.

You cannot imagine what kind of stones would be thrown at you if word got out. The information that you're his makeup artist would be a cherry on top. Gold digger, witch, slut, whore; some of the less colourful terms.

Seeing the way Jungkook suffered, it made sense why he would be so scared to be open about his feelings. You could imagine yourself feeling the same way had it been you being in his place. Seeing someone you care for, getting hate that they absolutely don't deserve, is painful enough for one to believe that it's for the best to keep distance.

You also imagined what you would have felt had Jungkook admitted his feelings and had told you about the fake dating. Yes, you'd have the knowledge that there was nothing real between him and Niki. However, you'd also have to see them all over the internet and watch people go on and on about how perfect they are. You'd be aware that Jungkook likes you, but you'd also be bitter about how the beginning of your relationship is marked with him publicly dating someone else. It's not exactly a nice feeling.

One could argue that the way events have turned out, they aren't perfect either. But there's nothing going on between Jungkook and you. At least, not yet.

That's one thing that you both need to talk about and you really want to clear out everything, at once. Who knows what miscommunication would occur if things were left unsaid, again?

"I would never intentionally hurt you, Y/N,"Jungkook squirms a little in his seat, ignoring the absence of the weight that has been eating him alive for days. He thinks you're going easy on him and he thinks he doesn't deserve it.

"I am choosing to trust your words," you reply, having a sense of the turmoil Jungkook seems to be going through. The fact that he is always hard on himself is not unknown to you. "All I ask from you is to not break my trust. And for you to accept that you do not have to burden yourself with responsibilities."

Jungkook knows it's hard for him to not feel like there's always a bunch of responsibilities on his shoulder. Especially when one moment of misjudgement can cause irreversible damage. Despite that, he feels a sense of warmth spread throughout his body at your words.

"I'll try."

You shoot Jungkook another smile; the second one this evening and he can't help but think that you should really stop giving him hope.

"There's one more thing that we need to talk about," your cheeks turn red and much like Jungkook earlier, it's your turn to squirm in your seat. "You said something about liking me."

You feel awkward at the choice of your words but then you aren't brave enough to start by mentioning your note of confession.

Jungkook's eyes turn as wide as saucers and his whole face flushes to match the shade of your cheeks. He really wasn't expecting for you to bring it up. "Umm yeah," he nods.

You feel a spark of impatience and annoyance at his short response. You took it upon yourself to bring the topic to the table and he cannot just spill everything, already? Why make it more difficult for you?

"Yeah…..so?" You look at him with your brows raised, trying your best to ignore the way you feel like a three year old shy girl, on the inside.

"I–I do like you," he stutters and looks away, for the umpteenth time, unable to meet your eyes.

Your heart takes a fucking long jump. Who would have thought Jeon Jungkook would be so shy about admitting his feelings?

"What should we do about it?" You intentionally use the 'we' for Jungkook to catch the hint that you want to do something about it.

But of course, he doesn't.

He speaks sullenly, "I have lost the right to have a say in the matter."

"I want you to have a say in the matter. Tell me, Jungkook, what do you want?" You refuse to let go of the conversation and for Jungkook to let his guilt swallow him. He messed up, there's no denying that. But you could always acknowledge the fact that his heart was in the right place.

Feelings of frustration makes his throat clogged up . "I just want to go back and redo things in a different way."

"That's not possible. What do you want to do now?"

He knows what he wants but voicing it, feels being ungrateful towards your forgiveness. It feels like he's being greedy. "What I do want, feels like too much to ask for."

"You'll never know until you ask for it."

He sighs and reminds himself that you're asking him about the romantic feelings he has admitted to harbouring towards you. He reminds himself to not be selfish and make it about his guilt. If you want to know, he will tell you and he will be honest about it.

"I want to be with you," his admission is made in a small voice but it doesn't hide the clarity his words have.

Your breath hitches and you feel the soft pitter patter of your heart that you had missed when he admitted his feelings for you the first time around.

"When does this fake relationship of yours end?"

"A month from now."

You nod. "A month from now, take me out on a date and we will see."

Jungkook's eyes snap to yours, not having expected you to speak those words. You shoot him a small smile before getting up and leaving the room.

—-----------------------------------------------------

SIX MONTHS LATER

"I swear to god, if you don't stay still, I'll intentionally ruin your makeup."

Your threatening low tone goes in through one ear and comes out of the other. "You could never do that."

"Don't test my limits."

A pout makes its appearance. "But that's my favourite thing to do."

You sigh in both astonishment and in love.

How do you manage to repeat the same routine with the same man everyday and never get tired of it? Maybe it has everything to do with the way your heart keeps stuttering around this man.

No, the man sitting in front of you, is not the global superstar Jeon Jungkook.

The man sitting in front of you is your boyfriend, Jungkook.

The official tag on your relationship was put four months ago, after a month of going out on dates. When you say going out, you mean staying in the hybe building and arranging dates in as innovative a way as one can.

The month in which Jungkook had to pretend to be Nikki's boyfriend only proved to you why it would have been difficult for you had you and Jungkook actually been a thing at the time. It was already painful and as petty and irrational as it may sound, it also made you jealous when you would see articles of the two of them. You're not quite sure how humilated you would have felt if you two were to be dating at the time and to see people comment on how they are a match made in heaven.

That one month, for Jungkook, was a mix of everything. The beginning of the month came with constant doubts and shame where he wondered what he should do when the month is up. He wanted you but he didn't really think he deserved you. But then he had to make up his mind; he made a mistake and he always acknowledged that but it would be so incredibly foolish if he were to let that stop him from being with you. After a week or so, he had made up his mind. He messed up, but boy if he wasn't going to make up for it.

That whole month was spent with him brainstorming ideas on how he can show his sincerity and be a better man. Somewhere along the line, he had opened up to Niki about it and there's just a hundred percent chance that if he's smiling wide in one of those paparazzi pictures, he's talking about you.

Jungkook has been nothing but the best boyfriend you could have ever asked for. Any hurt or doubt was washed away soon after the both of you started going out. Being with Jungkook was so much more than you could have ever imagined.

A month after being together, you were back as Jungkook's make-up artist. It was the best way to go about it as it would keep the both of you away from suspicious eyes and give the both of you ample amount of time to spend with each other.

You both are aware that at some point, you'd have to inform the agency of the nature of your relationship as that'd be better than them finding it out from other sources. You're not quite sure what would be left of your job, but Jungkook seems quite sure that you won't be fired and that the members together, would somehow manage the higher authorities to make their rules more flexible.

Jungkook isn't worried about the consequences with hybe, but he still finds himself stressing about the day the news becomes public. That is where you reassure him, that whatever happens, you both will get through it, together. You also remind him to not fret about it too much, because there's a long way to go before things are made public. For the time being, it's just the two of you.

"No wait, that's actually my second favourite thing," Jungkook corrects himself. "My top favourite might just be kissing you."

You fight the blush trying to make an appearance and ask, "might?"

"The last time you kissed me was ten minutes ago. Forgive me for forgetting what it was like to be kissed by you."

As cute and adorable as Jeon Jungkook might be in front of the cameras, you have recently learned that he's just as sly and playful when he wants to be.

"Will you stay still if I kiss you?"

"Kiss me first and then you shall have your answer."

So you do.

Your soft lips are welcomed eagerly by his and they move against each other, tenderly without a hint of rush. Your breaths mingle and soft sighs escape as your hands get tangled in his hair.

When you part, there's only a hair's gap between the two of you, "So what's the verdict?"

Jungkook's doe eyes appear dazed as he looks at you. "Well my brain has turned into a mush, so you can totally expect me to stay still."

You giggle and the sound of it warms Jungkook's heart like nothing ever has.

------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: i was so anxious about making this so long especially the Taehyung part but then the Taehyung part is something that happened to me irl, so i also just wanted it to be as real as possible. For Jimin, it just didn't feel right for the reader to agree to go out or be with Jimin without him earning it. But then, it also didn't quite fit in this reaction thing, if that makes sense? If y'all want some good ol' grovelling from this Jimin in a one-shot i will see what I can come up with 😉.

That being said, let me know what you thought of this! (This really was a lot of work, so your words would be greatest source of encouragement and achievement for me). Also, if you like my work and wish to have access to all my works before anyone else, here's my patreon!

Hope you enjoyed reading this!

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bimbobaggins69 · 7 months

Text

our lust increased, feeds desire.

modern steddie x only fans reader

summary: after getting a sponsorship from a very well known lingerie brand, you put on a little fashion show for the boys and things get spicy.

warnings: smut ahead, 18+ mdni, fem reader, no use of y/n, use of pet names, lingerie, overuse of the words hole and cock, food play, anal (m receiving), lots of butt stuff, steddie smut, voyeurism, female masturbation, oral sex (m receiving), daddy kink, cum play, this is so filthy sorry not sorry.

authors note: (a welcome to the dungeon blurb) the pieces I describe in this fic are from moeflavor.com thank you to my love @xxhellfiregirlxx for the lingerie plug and being my lovely beta, along with @screammunson <3

wc: 3.7k (def not a blurb *eyeroll*)

You step out the shower, hand idly reaching for your black silk robe as a notification on your phone captures your attention.

“Yes, yes, yes!” You excitedly celebrate in the quiet, steamy bathroom.

You throw on your robe in an exhilarated rush, before slipping on your platform ugg slippers. You hear Eddie and Steve in the kitchen making breakfast, their sweet laughter puts an even bigger smile on your face as you quickly pad down the stairs and out the front door.

“Baby?” You hear Eddie call as you walk halfway down the driveway, to the mailbox.

You take the big bag of goodies into your arms before hastily slamming the aluminum door, and making your way back into the warmth of your house.

“Babe? What are you doing? We were gonna surprise you with breakfast in bed.” Steve beams as he walks closer to you in nothing but little black gym shorts, he examines the big white package you’re now holding like a baby in your arms.

Eddie walks in a second later, sweatpants sitting low on his hips as he pops a strawberry into his mouth before he too begins to examine the bag you're holding.

“Whatcha got there, angel?” The metalhead questions as he continues to chew on his fruit. Plump, swollen lips tinged with red that probably have more to do with the kisses he and Steve shared as they prepared a special breakfast for you.

“Well, about two weeks ago I was dm’d by this really well known lingerie brand and they wanted to do a sponsorship collaboration, so they sent me a bunch of free stuff and all I have to do is take pictures and post them on instagram or tik tok.” You excitedly ramble before walking into the kitchen to grab a knife, not wanting to mess up your recently manicured nails.

“What? So they just sent you a bunch of free shit for some pictures?” Eddie asks in bewilderment.

“Yeah, it’s called a sponsorship, and it's my first one!” You cheered as you slid the knife along the dingy white plastic.

“That's amazing, baby! We’re so proud of you.” Steve praised before planting a sloppy kiss to your now exposed collarbone, causing you to gasp in surprise.

“How bout you put a little show on for your boyfriends, huh? Try all that cute shit on and maybe we’ll help take it off.” Eddie purrs, before he dips another strawberry into the whipped cream that he’d sprayed over his pancakes. He takes an erotic bite of the berry, groaning at the taste as the juices trail down his chin, begging to be licked up.

You set the pieces that were sent to you on the leather chair that sat in the corner of your room as you, Steve and Eddie ate the breakfast they so kindly made for you. You all watched a movie in bed as the boys took turns feeding you and each other. Getting lost in your time spent sharing kisses, cuddles and stupid jokes.

You take a glance at the lingerie, quickly being reminded of the suggestion from your metalhead boyfriend. You eagerly slip out of bed as Eddie and Steve are in deep conversation about their holiday plans and how it goes every year but share the same sentiment that they’re grateful you’re now a part of it, you acknowledge them before the conversation moves to something about their jeep and how the oil needs a change before you all drive to hawkins for Thanksgiving dinner with Eddie and Steve’s families, the jitters of meeting their loved ones comes over you momentarily before you shut the door and begin removing your robe.

You slip on the first piece called ‘cyber succubus’; it’s a black latex looking set, the bra cups are triangular hardly covering much and the strap that connects the two is adorned with a buckle, the panties are tiny with a v shape in front showing off a sliver of your mound, the straps that hug your hips have the same tiny buckles on both sides and there's a chain tail connected to the back of the thong, a matching waist piece with more buckles sit on your mid section as the straps attached hang over your hips, you finish the look off with the matching horns and some black thigh highs.

You slowly open the bathroom door, the boys still chatting away as you lean up against the wooden frame before clearing your throat to capture their attention.

“Ho-ly fuck!” Eddie growls as his mouth falls open, making Steve’s head whip around in curiosity.

“Whoa.” Is all the pretty boy can mutter, you saunter into the bedroom giving your boyfriend’s a spin and a good view of your perfectly round ass.

“Whaddya think?” You ask them with a knowing smirk.

“Baby, fuck. You look- fuck.” Eddie stammers, as his eyes continue to roam over every detail of your body in the little piece of fabric.

“You look fucking insane, baby. Jesus.” Steve professes as his hand slides down to the growing bulge in his slutty little black shorts.

“C’mere sexy girl.” Eddie says, timidly waving you over as both boys keep their ogling eyes on you.

“Uh, uh. No touching until the end of the show…” You say, turning around and making your way to the bathroom with a devilish smile, you look back at both boys whose faces are filled with equal amounts of disappointment and lust before you divulge “I didn’t say you couldn’t touch each other.” You sing-song before giggling and slipping behind the door, quickly removing all of the straps from your body and letting the fabric hit the floor before you’re eagerly picking out the next piece to try on.

This one’s called ‘latex succubus nurse’ and it might actually make the boys keel over and die. Death by boner. You slip the top on, it’s black with red accents around the collar, your cleavage practically spills over as a buckle in the middle keeps them in place, a fake nurses badge is attached to the cup of your right tit. You yank on your black g-string that has two “o” rings on the back of each string a long with a bat wing; you pull the thong straps high over your hips before you slide on the tiny skirt, all black pleated latex with two red horizontal lines towards the bottom, two red hearts on each hip with a silver chain that dangles above the crotch, you roll the fishnet knee highs on before snapping on the black collar and black nurses hat. This one is so sexy on, the back covers absolutely nothing as the front exposes a good amount of your cunt in the black g string.

You take one last once over before you slowly pull the door open. You’re quickly met with low moans as you realize both boys have their bottoms off and thrown haphazardly on the floor, Eddie is stroking Steve’s hard cock while Steve is stroking Eddie’s, the boys rub each others tips in unison, smearing their precum over the shaft for better friction, as if they needed it with that big bottle of lube that sat open on the bedside table.

It took a second for them to notice you as they sat there lost in the pleasure of each other, before Steve saw you in his peripheral vision. His head quickly turned, chestnut hair flowing so beautifully with his movement, as his eyes widened and his moans grew louder, thus causing Eddie to look over too.

“Fuck baby.” Eddie groans as him and Steve pick up their pace at the sight of you.

“Naughty boys.” You purr as you crawl across the bed on all fours, moving closer to where they’re working each other's throbbing cocks. You lick and bite at your glossed lips before a moan slips from between them. “God, that’s so hot.” You pant as if you’re almost out of breath, seeing the boys being intimate with each other as you looked on was something you’d never get used to, it will always be your biggest weakness.

Your little idea of making the boys wait until after you finish trying on all the pieces, quickly becomes a thing of the past as your hand trails down between your thick, warm, plush thighs. They tighten around your forearm as your fingers harshly rub over the small fabric.

“C-can I please touch you now, baby?” Steve mewls. Such an obedient little boy when he wants to be.

“Yes, please.” You plead in desperation as you open your legs wider, the dark wet patch in the middle of your center now on full display.

Steve swiftly pulls your panties to the side as he runs his fingers through your folds, wetting the tips with your slick before he’s bringing them up to your clit and softly circling as he continues to twist his other hand on your shared boyfriend's cock.

“Oh, Jesus this is mm, so hot.” Eddie whimpers as his eyes are now trained on your dripping heat, where Steve’s fingers continue to orbit.

“You two keep playing together, I’ll be right back.” Eddie announces as he slips out of Steve’s grasp, leaving you two alone and way too horny to think straight.

You replace Eddie’s hand with yours, giving Steve’s rock hard shaft a few tugs before you reach for the lube, squirting a dollop on your palm before bringing it to his bright pink tip. Steve whines as his fingers slip inside of your entrance with ease.

“Is my baby a needy boy today? Hmm?” You pout as your grip gets tighter on him, causing him to hiss and his eyes to snap shut in pleasure.

“Mmhm. God, you look so fucking sexy.” He whimpers into your mouth before smashing his lips to yours in a greedy, spit filled kiss.

“You know what I want, baby boy?” You whisper into his mouth.

“What’s that, honey?” Steve whispers back

“I really wanna watch daddy fuck you.” You reveal, making him groan into the kisses he’s now placing on your cleavage.

“Is that really what you want, baby?” The pretty boy asks as his fingers continue to curl deep inside you, hitting your sweet spot and making your juices drool out and down his hand.

“Yes, fuck, I want to watch you two play.” You huff as Steve slips another finger into your drenched hole. “Can I work you open for daddy?” You ask sweetly, as your hand continues to twist on his smooth yet hard appendage.

“Shit, you’re such a filthy girl.” Steve says before he’s pushing you onto your back, your hand falls from his cock as he reaches for your throat, squeezing hard enough to cut off your air flow while his fingers start moving in and out of your pussy with purpose, hard and deep as the squelches ring out in your shared room.

“Ooh!” Is all you can say before you’re cumming and squirting all over Steve’s hand and forearm, as he kneels over you with a crazed yet undeniably lust filled gaze.

“That’s it, my dirty fucking girl! Always making a mess on me, huh?” Steve spits through clenched teeth.

“Whoa, what’d I miss?” The metalhead questions, his eyebrows raised high on his hidden forehead in curiosity as he holds a bottle of whipped cream and a bowl of fruit with the stems chopped off.

“Made our little slut squirt all over me.” Steve beams with a cocky smirk before slowly removing his fingers from your used and sopping cunt.

“Well damn.” Eddie scoffs as he places the fruit on the side table and tosses the whipped cream bottle on the bed.

“Go ahead and tell Eddie here what you told me, angel.” The honey eyed boy softly demands.

Eddie’s eyes are on you in an instant as he sits down at the foot of the bed, hand playing with your hair as you’re still sprawled out in the position Steve manhandled you in.

“Go ahead baby, tell me. Anything.” Eddie sweetly encourages.

“I wanna watch you fuck Steve.”

Eddie’s eyes widen, all the sex you had had together in the past few months and never have you been the one to sit back and watch. Not that you didn't want to, but your boyfriends did everything in their power to make you feel like you were now a part of their relationship, the last thing they’d ever want is for you to feel left out or pushed aside, so instead they opted for worshiping you together.

“You sure, sweetheart? We don’t want you to feel left out or anything.” The metalhead pointed out with a hesitant look while sweetly brushing your hair out of your face.

“Mhm, wanna stretch Stevie out for you first though.” You state with a devilish glint, before quickly sitting up and swinging your legs behind you, as you excitedly bounce your knees on the mattress.

“Fuck, you really were made for us, ya’ know that?” Eddie simpered, grabbing the nape of your neck and pulling you into an adoring kiss. His hands roam your body over your little nurses outfit before he was clawing at the fabric to get to what he really wanted, you completely naked and exposed for them.

After Eddie and Steve had removed your clothes and had you fully bare aside from the fishnet thigh highs Eddie protested against Steve touching, the metalhead manhandled your shared boyfriend into position; on all fours as his ass stuck up in the air, back arched as his left cheek laid flat against the mattress. Perfect plump bum and his pretty pink puckered hole just waiting to be devoured.

“Go ahead angel, take what you want.” Eddie chuckles as he lays a harsh slap to Steve's squirming ass.

You crawl on your knees, lining up behind him, your left hand fists the bed as your right comes up to rub at his bubbly cheeks, before you dip a finger between them making the pretty boy gasp and moan. Your ass was up in the air now too, giving Eddie the perfect view of your pretty little asshole as you brought your tongue to the writhing boys in front of you.

You lap at him with enthusiasm, so turned on from the prospect that you were getting his hole ready to be stretched and fucked by your other boyfriend.

“Fuck, I wish I had two cocks so I could fuck both of your pretty holes at the same time.” Eddie snorts at the image that crosses his mind at his words, as he strokes at his already hard and dripping cock.

You and Steve giggle at the metalhead before you plunge your tongue past Steve’s tight muscle, both of you groaning in unison. Steve’s purely out of pleasure and yours from the clean yet heady taste of him. The boy was always clean and ready for a good ass eating.

You continue to fuck the pretty boy with your tongue before dropping a glob of spit right into the little ‘o’ that had been worked open by your pink muscle. You rub it in with your thumb, spitting again before you're working your thumb into his ass slowly, his warm hole sucking you right in, to the second knuckle.

“Mmm.” You hear him moan into the sheets at the feeling of you moving your thumb in and out.

Finally, you slip it back out. Eyes memorized by the little gape you were able to achieve from just your small thumb. You get an idea and reach behind you for the whipped cream bottle Eddie so kindly brought up.

You shake it before removing the top. You can feel Eddie's eyes on you in interest as he slowly creeps up the side of the bed to get a better look at what you're about to do. His questions are answered when you spray the whipped cream right on Steve's yummy open hole, giggling when he jumps and gasps from the cold temperature.

“Oh fuck!” Eddie groans as he watches you bring your tongue to lap up the sweet cream.

You spray more before looking up at Eddie, puppy dog eyes on full display as you ask him if he wants a taste.

“Yes, please.” He groans again, his eyes rolling back before he’s leaning right beside you, licking up the whipped sweetness. “Yum.” The older boy hums with a proud smile on his face. You spray some more before Eddie stands up, grabbing a strawberry from the bowl that’s still sitting on the side table and dipping it into Steve's hole, pushing it in with his finger before Steve is pushing it back out. Eddie smiles, bringing the fruit up to your mouth; you open up and stick your tongue out, awaiting his offering as the juice that had been squeezed out by your younger boyfriend's tight hole drips down your chin, this time Eddie eagerly licks it up.

Once you've finally worked Steve open with a whole lot of lube and six fingers; three on each hand, scissoring and pulling him open little by little, he was finally ready to take Eddie’s rather thick length.

They had asked you what position you’d wanted to see them in, and of course you requested one of the first positions they’d fucked you in when you filmed your first only fans video together. Full nelson, minus the holding of Steve’s neck. You just wanted to see both boys facing you as Steve bounced on Eddie's cock all while the pretty boy’s hard throbbing cock flopped around freely. Fuck, it made you drenched just thinking about it.

Eddie made quick work laying out on the bed before Steve maneuvered himself on top of him, chest to back as the metalhead scooched up to land his tattooed body against the headboard. Steve’s feet planted on the bed as his ass hovered over Eddie’s awaiting cock.

The older boy's tip ever so lightly presses against Steve’s stretched hole before he slowly sinks down on him, making the metalhead groan in delight.

“Ah!” Steve moans out as he throws his head back in sweet bliss, god how he’s missed being fucked by his daddy. His head quickly snaps to where you’re seated on the leather chair as you watch with intent, fingers swirling over your little sensitive bud. Steve groans at the sight of you getting off to him being fucked, it’s almost too much when Eddie starts thrusting his hips up, instantly hitting his prostate making his eyes roll back in complete contentment.

“Fuck!” He mewls, as he starts matching Eddie’s thrusts, lifting himself up with his planted feet and sinking back down, his boyfriend continuously bullying his g spot while his cock flaps back and forth, hitting his stomach then lightly tapping against Eddie’s balls, his head is oozing with precum as it drips down his bright pink head and trickles down his veiny shaft.

You lick your lips at the thought of tasting him. Your fingers speed up as you begin to lose yourself to the bright white flash of pleasure, you throw your head back biting at your bottom lip in order to stay quiet so as to not interrupt them. Your orgasm seers through you like a volt of electricity. When you come to, you realize both boys have their eyes on you already fully aware that you’ve made yourself cum to their sweaty masculine bodies bumping together in pleasure.

“Good girl, mmm did daddy fucking our Stevie’s sweet hole do it for you? Hm?” Eddie growled as his hips sped up before he’s bringing a heavily ringed and tattooed hand to your shared boyfriend's leaking cock and giving him two good pumps.

Eddie maneuvers Steve’s body so his right arm is thrown over the long haired boy's shoulders with Steve’s shoulder blade pressed up against the metalhead's left pec, giving him the perfect view of the pretty boy's dick flopping about.

“Aw, look at our poor baby boy's needy cock just dripping, he needs you princess. Come make our boy feel even better.” Eddie beckons you over as he continues to thrust while simultaneously playing with Steve’s very hard appendage.

You crawl in between both boys’ spread legs before you’re taking Steve’s cock into your hand, Eddie quickly drops his before going back to Steve’s hip where he helps him bounce better on his cock, that’s so fucking close to exploding.

You take Steve into your mouth, slurping up all of his precum and groaning madly at the taste. You release him from your mouth with a loud pop.

“Mm, fuck his cock into my throat daddy.” You say sweetly before you take him back into your mouth and allow Eddie’s hips to snap, bringing Steve’s cock so much deeper down your throat.

“Oh, fuck!” Steve whimpers, bringing his hand that was used for leverage on the mattress, to your hair grabbing a handful before he’s pushing your head down even deeper, spit falls from the sides of your mouth and tears drip down your face as your throat gets railed, the whole thing makes you feel like you can cum completely untouched.

“I’m- fu- I-” Steve stammers as his seed shoots down your throat, you instantly swallow, milking him of every last drop before he’s gently pulling you off and bringing your lips to his in a filthy kiss as the remainder of cum left in your mouth gets swapped back and forth.

“Uh, I’m gonna fucking bust!” Eddie shouts as he watches you both share Steve’s seed. The display causes Eddie to grab tighter onto the pretty boys hips, bringing him down even harder, fucking himself with his boyfriends tight clenching hole.

Steve’s spent cock twitches as Eddie continues to overstimulate the younger boy's prostate, making Steve shake with moans that could rival yours any day.

“Fuck…” Eddie draws out before he’s cumming deep inside his boyfriend, filling him up to the brim as you watch the cum drip out and down the metalhead's red abused sack.

“Mmm, look at that.” You moan before dipping your finger into the mess and bringing it into your mouth.

The cum slut in you has yet to be satisfied as you now have a craving for the seed that continues to drip out of Steve, even more so now that he’s removed himself from Eddie’s lap, laying in exhaustion on the side of him.

“Need more.” You pout your lips towards them.

“Come on then dirty girl. Come get a taste.”

taglist

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peterman-spideyparker · 6 months

Text

Two Round Apples (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! This is a very horny fic. Not much thought or plot, but a lot of steamy thots. Enjoy :)

Summary: You try to do a good deed for your closest friend, but it backfires . . . and you accidentally see Matt naked. And his butt. It's awkward, but the thing about the both of you is that you both value fairness.

Warnings: Fluff, friendship, regular Nelson and Murdock shenaniganery, swearing, smut (oral - m! and f! receiving, fingering, p in v protected sex, dirty talk, Matt being a little cocky in bed)

Other Characters: Foggy Nelson and Karen Page

Word Count: 4,053

“And Matt’s at that client meeting, so he’s gonna swing back by his place before he comes in to grab some files he was working on last night,” Foggy says over the phone as you cross the street.

“Which files did he take to work on last night?” you ask, looking down at your watch.

“The Kenadie case, the Wayne file, and I think the Slavo, Riley, and Samuels case, too.”

“Wow, no rest for the wicked, huh?”

“You know our Matty Boy—he never takes a break. Ever.”

“Well, I should be in shortly,” you say, taking a left toward Matt’s building instead of a right toward the office. “A lot of foot traffic.”

“No taxi for you?”

“Gotta get my steps in, Fog. Besides, it’s a really nice day out. I’ll see you soon.”

“See ya.”

Hanging up, you slide your phone in your pocket and open the door to the lobby of Matt’s apartment, moving up the stairs before you reach the top floor, sorting through your keys before you find your spare for his door. It’ll be a nice surprise that he doesn’t have to go back and get them. You mean, you were literally right here anyways—sure, it’d be an unnecessary extra mile for an employee, but not for his friend he’s known since undergrad that just so happens to work at his law firm. At this point, it’s just something you’d do for him.

“Let’s see,” you hum as you close the door, looking at the table in the small entryway to see if they’re there before you move into his living room to search the coffee table. As you look and straighten things out, you hear a rustling from his bedroom, your head snapping in the direction of the sound. To your surprise, you watch Matt shuffle out of his room, naked as the day he was born, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with the heel of his hand. You yelp in shock and surprise, dropping the files and turning around as you cover your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—I didn’t know you—!” you start, desperately trying to backpedal and lessen the embarrassment you're feeling.

“You’re okay, really, I—,” he starts, sounding just as frazzled as you are.

“Foggy mentioned you had a meeting and left some files—!”

“Oh, that’s nice of you, but—.”

“I-I’m gonna go,” you say, covering your eyes as you turn back around to try and find your keys you dropped on the ground. As you search around for the keys, you catch a glance of Matt’s ass as he’s turned around, his hands reached around to his front to cover himself. You stop in your tracks, letting your eyes linger on his strong muscular thighs and his perfectly round asscheeks. The perfectly round asscheeks that you could bounce a quarter off of.

The perfectly round asscheeks of one of your best friends.

Swallowing hard, you regain your focus and pick up your keys, standing straight and scurrying out of the living room and rushing out of his building. You navigate the sidewalks as fast as lightning and get to the office in record time, immediately sitting down at your desk and throwing yourself into the work at hand.

“I don’t understand how it’s possible, but you look white as a ghost and totally flushed at the same time,” Karen says after about fifteen minutes.

“Hm? I’m okay,” you lie, as you type at your computer.

“Do you need coffee or something? You just don’t seem like yourself.”

“Slept funny—bad.”

“I’ll get a fresh pot of coffee brewing.”

As Karen gets up, the door to the office swings open and Matt enters, his cheeks bright red as he avoids turning in your direction. Foggy starts to head out of his office to ask Matt a question, his mouth opening but quickly closing it when he catches Matt’s demeanor.

“What’s up with him?” he asks, turning toward Karen with furrowed brows.

“Maybe the client meeting didn’t go as planned?” she suggests.

“Maybe,” he sighs. “Nothing coffee can’t fix. Karen, sit down. It’s my turn to be brewmaster.”

“I’ll go get some coffee,” Matt says, all too eagerly leaving his office. “We should all caffeinate, and I mean, we have all day to drink coffee brewed here. My treat.”

“I’ll come with,” Foggy says, falling in step with his partner. “We’ll grab some bagels, too. Maybe they’ll even have muffins.”

Your eyes follow them as they slip outside of the main lobby, and as soon as the door clicks shut, Karen turns around to you.

“Okay, what’s going on?” she breathes.

“Kare—,” you start.

“Don’t even try to lie to me. What happened?”

“I saw Matt naked.”

“What?”

“This morning on my way back from taking care of those filings, I went to Matt’s place to pick up some files Foggy said he had left, and I used my spare key because Matt was at a client meeting, but he apparently wasn’t, and he walked out of his bedroom buck-ass naked, and I saw him.”

“Oh my God. Front or back?”

“Both.”

“Oh my God.”

“I mean, the front was brief, but I still saw things, but he turned around and I saw a lot of back.”

“Oh my God,” she repeats.

“And I stared. A lot.”

“Oh my God.”

“I know! I didn’t mean to stare, but, I mean . . . Kare, you’ve seen his ass in slacks. In jeans. Sweats. You know what it’s like to see it bare? It’s even better. Like, so so much better. It’s so firm and round and . . . I broke our friendship.”

“What, no!”

“Kare, I saw him naked. All I’ve been able to think about since is how I saw him naked, and how good he looks naked. You saw how he scurried in this morning and how he quickly he left to go on a coffee run! He wasn’t even in the same space for me for a full minute before he found an excuse to bolt! I ruined things!”

“It’s just awkward. I can guarantee, at some point, all super close friends see one another naked for some reason or another.”

“You think Matt has seen Foggy naked?”

“(Y/N), listen! You’re overthinking this!” She places her hands on your shoulders. “This is just a weird hump that you both have to push through. Sooner or later, you’re both gonna move past it and it’ll be fine.”

“You better be right, Kare. You better be right.”

“Staying late?” Foggy sighs, slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder.

“Mm,” you confirm. “I was telling Karen when I got back from filing those papers at the courthouse that I didn’t sleep great, and unfortunately the coffee you and Matt so kindly got didn’t give me the boost I hoped for. And I’ve been plugging along all day with my work because I haven’t been able to focus. I just want to get a little more done.”

“Well, don’t over do it—you’re the glue that holds this place together.”

“And you’re the wind beneath my wings, Nelson,” you tease.

“See ya, (Y/N). Have a good night.”

“You, too, Fog.”

“Hey—sweet dreams!”

You give him one final wave as he leaves the office. When the door clicks shut, you turn your head to look at Matt’s office door. You shouldn’t just leave the events of this morning hanging in the air. It was awkward all day, and if you can nip this in the bud, it’ll be better for the office and your friendship as a whole. You get up, wiping your sweaty palms on your pants before you walk over to Matt’s office. As you raise your hand to knock on the door, it swings open on the hinges and Matt starts to walk out, basically knocking you over.

“I’m so sorry,” you both start to say, his hands resting on the small of your back to keep you upright.

“Matt, listen,” you start. “About this morning—.”

“Please, let me go first,” he breathes.

“No, please,” you counter. “Please let me go first.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to interrupt you like that—.”

“You didn’t interrupt anything, I promise.” Matt dips his head slightly and flashes you a small smile to apologize for interrupting. “Foggy was covering for me—I haven’t been sleeping well the last few nights.” He sucks in a little breath, making his chest stick out a bit and decreasing the space between your bodies. “I also don’t usually sleep naked.”

Your cheeks burn hot as your mind trails back to seeing him bare this morning, imagining how glorious he must look in his bed, the sheets crinkled and pushed so far down on his hips that just his privates are covered, how beautiful his exposed, muscular thigh must look as he lounges on the mattress. “I was just too tired for pajamas last night.”

“Do you also sleep fight? You looked like you had bruises and scars all over you. Not that I was looking.

“Restless sleeper,” he smirks. You swear the space between your bodies disappears even more as his voice drops an octave lower; there’s no need for him to do that with you being the only two in the office, barely any space between the two of you, but it does so many things just right. “And you don’t need to be bashful that you looked. I didn’t mind at all.”

Is this man trying to give you a heart attack?

“I was thinking . . .” you start, your heart pounding out of your chest. “It’s only fair that you see mine since I saw yours.”

Matt’s tongue pokes out to wet hips perfectly pouty lips. “I’d have to touch you to see it, sweetheart.”

“I know.”

You both swallow heard, and as he starts to move in for a kiss, you dip your head and pull back slightly.

“Not here,” you breathe. “Let’s go back to your place.”

Matt gently closes the door to his apartment behind him as you gently walk through the space, bringing yourself to the same spot where you stood this morning. He folds up his cane and puts it with his glasses by the door before walking toward you slowly—not terribly slow, but not as his normal pace, either.

“You don’t need to,” he breathes in the little space between you two, his nose practically touching yours as his unfocused eyes move all over your face.

“I know,” you breathe. “But I meant what I said in the office. It’s only fair.”

Grabbing hold of his tie, you gently tug on it to pull him in closer to you, closing the space between your bodies and feeling is soft, pouty lips again yours. If air in your lungs was scarce before, it’s completely gone when your lips connect. His body melts into yours, one hand resting on your hip and the other resting on your ribcage. Matt is the first to pull back, only pulling his lips away enough to officially break the kiss as he rests his forehead on yours.

“Ah ah ah,” you tut as you feel his fingers start to pull at the hem of your shirt. “You were already naked when I got here this morning. Give me a little room.”

Matt’s face looks completely blown with lust, but he slowly nods, moving his hands from your body. With a shaky breath, you pull off your shirt and drop it to your right before you undo the clasp and zipper on your pants, looping your fingers in the elastic of your underwear to get them both down in one fell swoop, fabric pooling at your ankles. Matt’s face flushes, and his tongue slips out between his lips as he gently flexes and wiggles his fingers as he keeps himself from touching your body for the time being. Your eyes start to look up and down the length of his body before you reach around your back and unclasp your bra, feeling it go limp before you push the straps down your arms and let it fall. As it falls down, you notice it hit against a growing erection in his pants that looks increasingly uncomfortable.

“You can touch me whenever and wherever you want,” you breathe.

“Mmm,” he hums, his lids hooded with desire. His fingers start to graze over the back of your hands before gently tracing up your arms, making goosebumps dance all over your skin. Once his fingertips hit your elbow, he tilts his wrists so his hands start to glide up and over your skin. As they reach your shoulders, Matt gently glides them up, his hand cradling your neck while his other hand tucks hair behind your ear. “Is this okay?”

“Y-Yes,” you stutter, your heart racing a million miles an hour.

His eyebrows gently lift up in delight and care as if he’s listening to your body tick and purr as he nods softly. “If you want me to stop, say the word.”

“Okay,” you breathe before adding with a little smirk, “You can keep going.”

He smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling with delight as he smiles. His hands gently glide down from your face and neck, over your collarbone, and down over your breasts, his thumbs grazing over your nipples, causing them to peak.

“I might get a better image if I feel you some more,” he says, his voice low and gravely with what you can only describe as desire as his hands gently drag along your ribcage and around to your back.

You half-register the “yes” that tumbles from your lips, and you gasp in delight when you feel his lips on your neck, softly pressing kisses down the column of skin, over your breasts, above your pounding heart, and eventually around one of your pert nipples. He gently sucks at it with each kiss before moving to the other one and doing the same exact thing again.

“Matt,” you breathe, your hands slipping into his soft hair, your fingernails scratching at his scalp. He hums into your skin, moving off of your breast and spreading kisses all over your stomach before he is on his knees in front of you. As his embraces spread across your pelvic bone and grow closer to the dripping heat between your legs. Matt’s hands slide down your back further before they’re gently resting over the curve of your ass. You gasp, a small moan falling from your throat as you tilt your head back in delight as he starts to kiss and lick at your dripping pussy. “Oh m—. . . fuck, Matt.”

He just hums, continuing his work diligently and deliberately as you get pulled closer to the edge, teetering on the brink of your pleasure. As you approach, Matt pulls his lips from the apex between your legs, kissing down your thighs and legs before moving back up, carefully moving his kisses around to your back and kissing the skin he neglected. Matt kisses up your spine as he straightens his legs to stand, one of his hands staying at your hips and between your legs, carefully playing with you as his lips and other hand continue to explore your body. A tingle shoots down your spine as his lips press kisses into your shoulder, his fingers brushing your hair aside so he can kiss up your neck and behind your ear.

“How good of a look did you really get this morning?” he asks quietly, his voice dropping to an octave that goes right between your legs and would make you do absolutely anything he told you to do.

“I-I tried not to look,” you stutter.

“But you stared at my ass, though.”

“Yes,” you grin.

“Sounds like you could use a better look at the front. You know, all things being fair in this.”

“I’d hate to be unfair.” He chuckles deeply, kissing at the sweet spot behind your ear before moving around to your front. “I think your bedroom as better lighting, though. It’d mimic this morning. Again, all things being equal.”

“Like you said, sweetheart. I’d hate to be unfair.”

You turn into his touch, bringing your lips to his and kissing him deeply as his hands hold you flush against him. Your lips move back and forth, the desire and delight growing more and more that you almost forget your plan to move to his room. He sweeps you up, his strong hands wrapping your legs around his waist and holding you up before he begins to move across his apartment, his lips never leaving your skin. You moan into his mouth when you feel the cool, soft, silky-smoothness of his sheets on your back.

“You want to undress me, or should I do it?” he smirks.

“I’m happy to assist,” you grin, matching his expression.

He laughs and nods, his fingers working to unbutton his shirt while you make quick work with his belt and pants, wrapping your hand around his sizable erection and pumping, making Matt groan at your touch.

“Lay back, angel,” he husks, pulling his shirt off. “Lay back and take it all in.” You let go and do as he asks, watching him as he steps out of his pants and boxers, pumping himself as he kneels on the bed. “Tell me what you want.”

“You. I want you.”

Matt leans down, supporting himself on one hand while he keeps pumping himself, his lips crashing into yours. You cup his face in your hand, doing what you can to intensify the kiss. Your other hand slips into the sweet spot of his back, right above the curve of his ass, his erection gliding right against the slick between your legs. You groan into the embrace as your privates touch in the most delicious of ways, the hand you have on his cheek sliding up to tug on his hair. Matt pulls his lips from yours and kisses your neck and clavicle, marking you up before moving back up to kiss you deeply and repeatedly before pulling back to reach over in his nightstand to grab a condom. Tearing open the foil package, you watch him roll it on his length, making sure the tip has room and it’s secure.

“You ready, sweetheart?” he breathes, one hand cradling the side of your face as he kisses your cheek and neck, the other sliding down your side.

“Yeah,” you breathe.

“Hang on, angel.” With another kiss, he reaches over and pulls down one of his extra pillows at the head of his bed. “Lift your hips for me.” You do as he asks, and he wiggles the pillow under your hips, kissing all the way up your stomach, between your breasts, and back on your lips. “Spread your legs, please.”

Tilting your knees to the side, you expose everything to him, gasping and leaning back into the pillow under your head while he strokes his cock up and down your slit.

“Matt,” you breathe, digging your nails into the soft flesh of his shoulders. “Matty, please.”

He kisses you again, saying so much with the embrace without saying a single word. He nose brushes against yours tenderly before rolling his hips forward and slowly pushing in. You cry out, nuzzling into him as he sinks in inch by inch, stretching you wide and filling you gloriously until he can’t push in any further.

“Tell me when I can move,” Matt kisses into your chest.

“Move,” you beg almost immediately. “Matt, please, move.”

He chuckles softly and smiles, nodding and giving you a kiss as he starts to drag his hips back before starting to push back in. The pace is steady and comfortable, but with each push and pull, you just about lose your mind at the sensation thanks to the pillow under your hips, unable to prevent the moans and whimpers that fall from your mouth. Matt grabs one of your legs and lifts it higher, helping him hit deeper and making you cry out louder.

“Just like that, angel,” he grunts. “Fuck, (Y/N), you feel so good.”

“Matt!” you swallow. “Matt, harder!”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck, just like that, please!”

His hips pick up the pace, making the bed squeak and filling his bedroom with the sounds of your slapping skin. Your head lolls back in pure bliss as your chest heaves as you pant in pleasure, blindly grabbing at Matt’s arms for a sense of stability. The moans that he pulls from your throat sound absolutely animalistic and feral as he repeatedly thrusts into you.

“Deeper, please!” you beg. “Matt, please!”

“I know, angel girl,” he grunts. “You feel so fucking nice, I want to make you feel all kinds of good, sweetheart.”

“Kiss me,” you swallow, finally managing to get a good grip on him to pull him down, his lips crashing into yours, his hips only faltering slightly. He moans into your mouth as he resumes his thrusts, his hands gripping your hips tightly in an effort to help in hit deeper. Pulling his lips from yours, he attaches them to your neck, right on your sensitive spot as he nips and sucks to mark you up as his. “Matty, I’m gonna cum.”

“Yeah?” he taunts. “This dick just too good for you? Can’t hold out for more?”

“Matt!”

“Tell me how good this dick is, angel.”

“Fuck, Matt! Your dick is so good! Best dick I’ve ever had!”

“Shit, (Y/N), you’re so good for me—your pussy is so tight, sweetheart. And it’s all for me.” He trusts deeply. “All.” Thrust. “For.” Thrust. “Me.” Thrust.

His pelvis rubs against you just right with a deep thrust, and you cum around his dick with a body-trembling force, your voice reaching a pitch you didn’t know was possible. Matt’s mouth slots over yours, capturing your cries of pleasure in his mouth, using it as fuel for his own passion.

“Matt,” you whisper in his ear. “Pull out.”

“What?” he huffs in confusion as his hips slow. You muster enough energy to roll your bodies over so he’s flat on his back and you slide off of him. You whine at the emptiness, but you eagerly move over him and pull off his condom, replacing the latex with your mouth and hand. Matt moans out in pure ecstasy, the muscles in his strong thighs clenching in surprise as you play with him and eagerly bob your head.

“Angel, I’m gonna cum,” he breathes. “I’m gonna cum.”

You hum in delight at the thought of your mouth being the thing that pushes him over the edge, the thought of just how big his load is shooting right between your legs and making you want him even more. With a careful squeeze of your hand at his base with his balls, he bucks his hips up, shoving his cock all the way down your throat as he cums. You move your hands and spread them across his hips, working to keep all of Matt down your throat as you swallow his cum, one of his hands cradling the side of your face. When he’s finally done, you slowly slide off of him, gasping for breath when your lips finally release his cock with a soft popping noise. You go back down, wrapping your lips around his head to suck him dry and clean him off before you move your kisses up his body, up along his bellybutton and abs, his chest and clavicle, neck, and finally his lips.

“Mm,” you hum into the embrace, nuzzling your nose against his after you break the kiss.

“I wasn’t too rough, was I?” he murmurs. “I didn’t hurt you?”

“No. Everything was great.”

Matt smiles like an idiot, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you again before rolling the two of you onto your sides, your legs tangling together.

“I like that you value fairness so highly,” he chuckles softly, his pouty lips kissing under your jaw.

“I like that you were too tired for pajamas last night.”

This time you both laugh before your lips connect again.

“Maybe I’ll make it a habit when you’re around.”

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Matt Murdock Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock smut #matt murdock x reader smut #matt murdock x fem!reader smut #daredevil #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil fanfic #daredevil x fem!reader fanfic #daredevil x fem!reader #daredevil x fem!reader smut #daredevil smut #daredevil dixney+#daredevil netflix #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction

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sports-on-sundays · 6 months

Note

Hello! Can you maybe write a clumsy reader x Lando Norris or Charles Leclerc??

Like how he gets worried about how she always gets injured such as accidentally burning herself or accidentally dropping a glass.

accident prone / CL16

Summary: Charles x clumsy!girlfriend!reader - Charles is usually pretty cool, but when it comes to you, he can be just a bit of a fussbudget. Who can blame him, though? You yourself have kind of got your head in the clouds most of the time.

Warnings: wrote this one in past tense because I felt like it, censored swearing, this one is honestly just really silly, blood, Charles being very protective

Requested?: Uh huh!

Author's Note: Thanks for another request. :)

Really, you were the paddock's big joke. And you didn't mind at all. Being Charles Leclerc's girlfriend, you hung around a lot. Especially since your boyfriend practically begged you to come to nearly every single Grand Prix. So, yeah. You were around a lot.

Which was why you were kind of the paddock's big joke. It wasn't like you were trying to be. It was like the way you were. Carlos told you that you were bringing it upon yourself. Maybe so, but you weren't trying to. It was just one too many clips of you tripping on air, walking into walls, dropping important things you were holding for someone, and the like. One time you were having a conversation with a few of the guys (because although obviously Charles was your man, you got along well with the other drivers) and when Max happened to say something particularly humorous, you sprayed the coffee you had been drinking out of your nose at the same time as dropping it. It splashed onto Lando's shoe. He, who was pretty annoyed (understandably so) had said something like, in a rather teasing, lighthearted tone, regardless, "My God, f*ck you, Y/n! My shoe! You're such a klutz!"

To that, you had stuck your tongue out at him and countered, "You're being over dramatic, rich boy! It's not like you can't easily buy yourself a new pair!"

While you admittedly were certainly pretty clumsy, you had a sharp mind. Still, you were humble enough to not mind being the grid's laughingstock. Everyone understood it was lighthearted.

Well, not everyone. There was one person who seemed to have issues with the whole thing. And it was your own boyfriend. Charles.

Referring to the story of spilling coffee on Lando's shoe again- as soon as you had finished with your comeback, suddenly Charles was next to you with his arm around your shoulder. He had been- well, not around. But somehow he must have heard and rushed to your side, because the look he had given Lando was honestly priceless as he asked the younger man, concerned, "What the hell did she do to make you say that to her?" He sounded so offended- more offended than you were yourself.

Lando had looked honestly nervous. "Max made her laugh so she spilled coffee on my shoe!"

"Mate, you're blaming it on me?" was Max's reaction, before looking at the imaginary watch on his wrist and saying, "Look at the time! Got to go."

"You know, just so happens, me too!" was what Lando said with a giggle, and the two had gone off. You were sure that as the two walked away together, they made fun of Charles and his little ways. But Charles wouldn't have minded. Because the only time Charles got defensive was when someone was bothering you.

Now, though, you were away from the paddock and racing. Now you were at home, thinking about all this as you smiled to yourself, standing next to the stove, waiting for the water for tea to boil. Charles was still in bed and had had an exhausting last weeks, so you thought he might like a little breakfast when he finally stirred.

Suddenly the tea kettle started squealing, and you quickly grabbed the it, hoping not to wake up your boyfriend in the other room. You started pouring the water in Charles' mug, and swore loudly when your hand bumped the kettle. You groaned. That's gonna leave a burn. You finished pouring the boiling water and ran your hand under lukewarm water as it steeped. You sighed, shaking your head, and very carefully, with shaky hands, put two pieces of bread in the toaster. Then you grabbed a glass and the orange juice from the fridge, but just as you were about to pour it, your hip bumped the counter and the glass slipped right out of your hand, shattering on the floor with a loud crash that made you flinch and grit your teeth. "For f*ck's sake!" you snapped, unable to hold it back. You sighed, reaching for the broom, but just then, a sleepy, disoriented Charles entered the room, with furrowed eyebrows and squinted eyes, still shirtless and wearing pajama pants. "Careful, love," you murmured. "Broken glass."

"Hmmm," he yawned, rubbing his eye. "What's going on? You okay, baby?"

"Yeah, I am," you started, starting to step around the glass pile to Charles, but wobbled and lost your balance, about to fall but- Charles, even having just woken up, caught you with a little chuckle. He helped you steady yourself and you sighed, shaking your head as you met him. "Anyway, yeah. I'm fine. I was... I feel bad. I was trying to make you some surprise breakfast, but... Clearly, I woke you up."

"Oh..." he smiled, naturally pulling you to him. "That's sweet..." Suddenly though, he saw your hand, and his brow grew concerned. He took your burnt hand, holding it up. "What's this?"

"Oh, uh," you giggled, glancing away. "Tea kettle."

"Hm. Looks like you had quite the-"

Suddenly you squeaked and flinched as the toaster popped behind you. You then broke out into laughing at yourself at being so frightened, and Charles teased, grabbing the broom, "Good thing you weren't holding a glass this time, huh? Babe, I really appreciate all this, really. But I'll clean up the glass and everything, and then I'll take my breakfast. Thanks, love."

You nodded, slowly leaving the kitchen, honestly feeling kind of bad. Really bad. You were trying to do something nice, and now he was in there, cleaning up your mess. No matter how many times he always told you it was okay, you were never fully convinced. Doesn't he get tired of me and my stupid little mistakes? Doesn't he get tired of always walking behind me and picking up the mess I leave?

When he came into the dining room with his breakfast, he thanked you wholeheartedly, gave you a damp cool rag for your burn, and got eating.

"Whoa, lovely, watch out," Charles said, suddenly grabbing your arm and pulling you closer to him, making you stumble a bit.

"What was that for, hm?" you frowned.

He smiled and somehow managed to say in the kindest way possible, "You were so busy looking up at the beautiful blue sky, you almost ran straight into that wall. What'cha daydreaming about?"

"Hmmm..." you glanced to his eyes, which in the bright lighting reflected just a slightly more grey version of the sky above. "You." You winked.

"How sweet," he smiled, gesturing to the Ferrari garage. Yes, you really were about to just walk right past it. Neither of you mentioned it, of course. As he left for his duties, though, he gave you a little wink and said, "Those high-heels are lovely, by the way. Just be careful." You clicked your tongue, but you knew he was right. Last time you wore heels at a Grand Prix, you ended up tripping over them and scraping both your knees. Charles had worriedly asked 'Are you alright?' so many times someone could have assumed you had just had a seizure or something instead of just tripping and falling. You had reassured him, as blood dripped down your legs, that you were just fine. He had rushed you back inside and made sure your legs got fixed up. For the rest of the weekend, you had hobbled around in sneakers and barely bent your legs because it hurt to bend the skin on your knees. It pretty much sucked, and fans on social media made fun of you almost as much as the other drivers on the grid, but you hadn't minded. The worst part was the pain- being made fun of was just fine. But of course it didn't go on for long, because Charles took whatever avenues that were necessary to put an end to people making fun of his girlfriend like that.

Charles had said after that whole thing something like, 'Y/n, you need to be more careful! You can't worry me like that, love!' which you found humorous, considering that over twenty weekends a year he went into basically a rocket ship and raced a bunch of other guys in other rocket ships, and made you worry sick. Either way, that was really the weekend when Charles' whole anxiety over your little accidents really started.

Before qualifying today, though, you made sure to catch Charles and give him a kiss, saying, "Don't crash."

He smiled gracefully and said back, "I won't. You don't crash, either, though."

You rolled your eyes with a little smile, gave him another kiss on the cheek, and he was off.

"Charlie! Nice job, dude!" you congratulated your boyfriend. You gave him a high five, and he gave you a hug. "Starting in a great position for tomorrow, love. Congrats!"

He chuckled. "Thanks, Y/n. I'm gonna go change. Be right back."

You nodded, and Charles walked off, but got caught in a conversation. When Carlos strolled in, you went to congratulate him as well, but of course.

You could feel it in slow motion. You foot getting caught, your other foot stepping forward, the force of gravity pulling you down, down-

You suddenly squealed though when unfamiliar arms caught you. After a second of disorientation, you realized it had been Carlos, who was now saying, "Holy sh*t, Y/n. You could've cracked your skull. Every day life with you is more dangerous than the life of being a Formula One driv-"

Suddenly, though, Mr. Protect Y/n At All Costs (Charles Leclerc), grabbed your hand, pulling you to him, away from Carlos, and said, "What the hell, you okay?"

"Uh, yeah," you said, honestly just embarrassed, glancing to Carlos.

"Sorry, Charles, I didn't want her to crack her skull," Carlos said after Charles sent him a nasty look. "You should be thanking me." Carlos gave his teammate a playful shove on the shoulder and walked away.

"Why don't you sit down and wait for me?" was Charles' suggestion.

"Right."

That night as you drove to the hotel, went inside, got ready for bed, and had a little snack, you didn't speak a word to Charles, and anytime he tried to talk, you didn't have much to say back to him.

Finally, as you finished your little snack, Charles sat down next to you, taking both your hands in his, saying gently and completely seriously, "Y/n, clearly something is wrong. Please know that you can tell me. Was it something that happened today? Did someone bother you? Was it what happened with Carlos?"

"No, no, Charles, they're fine," you murmured, sipping your water. "What Carlos did is fine, too. Good." You tried to show a little lighthearted smile, but maybe it just came off as seeming sarcastic as you said, "I mean, thank God for Carlos. Otherwise I might be in the hospital with a cracked open head, right?"

Charles, as expected, didn't buy it, and took your hands in both of his, saying earnestly with big, worried eyes, "You can tell me what's bothering you, Y/n. I want to help you."

Your jaw clenched as you murmured, "That's just it, Charles. That's the problem."

"What is?" he asked, looking so seriously and utterly confused, it might have been funny if it had been in another situation. "That I want to help you?!"

"No," you shook your head, looking down. "That I need your help. I feel so bad. I'm always messing things up- breaking stuff, hurting myself, being all jumpy. And along with everything else you have to worry about, you feel like you need to worry about me, too. You're just always there, looking out for me and fixing all my dumb mistakes. It's so stupid- but my clumsiness is actually becoming a problem. I don't even care if drivers or the internet make fun of me. It's just, like... you're so protective of me and it's because I can't stay on my two own f*cking feet. I mean, that must be so hard for you- don't you get exasperated with me? I mean I'm fine on my own. But oh my God, I feel like a little kid! You had to tell me not to run into a f*cking wall! A wall! I don't know, Charles... Aren't you sick of me? Aren't I a burden to you?"

The look Charles gave you was probably a mixture of confusion, sympathy, love, and exasperation. Which was a very strange mix, for a very strange expression, before he said, "You aren't a burden to me at all, Y/n... Babe, I love helping you. And, okay, we all have those days when there's a lot on our minds and we do stupid things. You make it seem like everyday there's another thing. There's not. Maybe three times a week you do something a little silly. But I know you. When you're nervous, your head is kind of in the clouds, and you trip up. Literally. On race weekends, you do. And the other thing you always do..." He hesitated, before getting more serious, saying quieter, "Sometimes I think you try so hard to please me, and you get nervous."

You stare, eyes wide. Because you hadn't even realized it, but he was right.

"You don't have to worry about that," he continued gently. "You already please me, without trying. Because I love you and you're gorgeous. You're right that you can take care of yourself, but I like being there for you. I like helping you out, okay?" He leaned in and gently planted a kiss on your cheek. "Besides, I think you being a little accident prone is cute."

"Accident prone and cute, huh?" You looked up, a soft smile appearing on your face and a little giggle in your voice as you leaned closer to him, relief rushing though you, and giving him a cheek kiss back. "I like that."

606 notes · View notes

httpsuniverse · 11 months

Text

LIPS OF AN ANGEL | MM19

↳ TYPE: ig au (written scenario will follow!)

↳ PAIRING: mason mount x fem! wolff! reader

↳ DETAILS AND WARNINGS: angst (more to be added on the main fic!)

↳ AUTHOR’S NOTE: here you go! 😵‍💫 after months omg, i’ve finally had the energy to do this after several revisions n all hahahaha pls wait for the main fic as i’m still writing it, but here’s a lil preview! enjoy <3

↳ TAGGED: @i83andrew @pleasantducktimetravel

—.

fcgossips

liked by user1, user2, user3 and others

fcgossips [sent anonymously]

mason mount spotted with model lia mendes last night in london!

it seems as though mason mount has found himself back to the dating game amidst the breakup rumors with toto wolff’s daughter, y/n wolff. it was reported that the pair has separated ways 4 months ago after y/n deleted all posts and unfollowed the football star; although there was no confirmation happened between the two parties.

we wish mason and his current partner the best 💗

view all 492 comments

user4 that looks so much like y/n lol

user5 i went y/n DOOP as soon as i saw her lmao

user6 *she cuz she’s a freaking PERSON and no she doesn’t look anything like y/n!

user7 seems like mason has a type 🤭

user8 convincing myself that l*a is his getaway car

user9 leave them alone, pretty sure mason wouldn’t appreciate the things yall call her gf

user10 lmao i was thinking the same thing!

—

masonmount

liked by cmpulisic, declanrice, liamendes and others

masonmount recents.

view all 2,829 comments

liamendes meu amor 💗

— ❤️ by masonmount

masonmount 💗

user11 omg no way (i mean this in a very nice and genuine way)

user12 ... so it’s really over with y/n huh?

user13 y/n dupe

—

ynwolff

liked by yourbffsig, susie_wolff, yourmomsig and others

ynwolff life lately

view all 2,793 comments

yourbffsig girl i miss u get tf up 😮‍💨

ynwolff lmao visit me at my new place <3

yourbffsig omw 🏃🏻‍♀️

ynwolff come fast before i go back to work this week !?

yourmomsig my beautiful daughter ❤️ all you do is sleep, sweetie 😂

ynwolff been sleeping a lot lately to avoid reality and recent news, ma 🤭 miss you <3

susie_wolff glad you’ve adjusted to the new place, that bed looks comfortable! enjoy 😍

ynwolff thank you for helping me move in, susie 😙 (and jackie too, pls tell him to sleepover sometimes!)

user14 not y/n posting minutes after mason confirmed his relationship 😭

user15 she’s unbothered lmao

user16 stop associating him with her, they’re over ffs

user17 user16 no, yall should stop associating him with her <3

user18 some girls are mourning over y/n and mason’s breakup and here she is sleeping most of the time 😂 welcome back to ig luv 💞

user19 ofc u announce ur return to ig by posting pics of u sleeping 😭 missed u here queen :)

ynwolff it’s all i’ve been doing the past few months <3 jk hahaha

user20 will we be seeing you back in the paddock? 😭

ynwolff hmm maybe 😉

#mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #football instagram au #football x reader #football imagine #mason mount angst #football angst

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marvellous1917 · 22 days

Text

Icarus Falling Far From.

(Part 4)

Pairing: mob!bucky x tattoo artist!female!reader

Summary: Bucky comes face to face with the ones fucking his shit up, he’s all stressed and the reader just wants to make out.

Warnings: mentions of crime (guns,drugs,murder [he’s a monster babes]), swearing, guns, reader being threatened with a gun (oops), threat of violence, talking about feelings (ew), think that’s it-if I’m missing any let me know.

Word count: 3.9k ish

A/n: hey guys, hope you enjoy this shit lmao, I truly have absolutely no idea where I’m going with this.

(This is not beta’d we die like men.)

Part 3 : Icarus Falling Far

Masterlist

————

Bucky’s thoughts in italics

Readers thoughts in bold

————

Fuck.

Fuucckk.

“It’s you.” Bucky states, his voice steady, hiding the confusion running through his head.

“It’s us,” Frank responds, “gotta be honest, we’ve had a lot of fun fucking up your shit.”

Frank stood with a smug smirk on his face, while the man with the buzz cut, and with scars covering his face, the light outside casting a grim portrait, stands with a big grin - both completely unaffected by the gun being pointed at them.

“Does she know?” Bucky asks, years of being screwed by people he trusted rearing back and kicking his trust issues into his gear.

Please say no, please tell me she’s not a part of this.

No. Not her.

“Y/n? Bet it break your cold heart if we said yes, huh?” Billy quips, with that stupid grin now a permanent fixture on his face. “That sweet pretty girl you though actually liked you, was actually just getting us this in, see we have proposition for- ”

“DOES SHE KNOW?” Bucky lets his voice rise, tired of the games the other men were playing.

“No, and we are gonna keep it that way you hear me, don’t drag that kind girl into this cruel world.” Curtis states, stepping forward as if to cut Billy off from responding.

Shit, I can’t let you look down and see me waving a gun in your friends faces.

“She doesn’t need to know. She’s not made for this world, not like us. So how about you put the gun away before she starts looking out that window.” Frank says, eyes flicking to your window to make sure you’re not witnessing this tense conversation.

Bucky slowly lowers the gun into his pocket, but keeps his hand tight on the weapon, just as a precaution.

Please be true, to whatever bastard higher power up there, please be true.

“Not like us?” Bucky says, parroting the other man’s words, “in what world are we the same?”

“Well I mean you and Curtis probably share the most similar physicality,” Billy states, chuckling a little at his own joke.

Bucky’s eyes flit to the quiet man on the left, recalling his earlier thoughts.

“What Bill means to say is that I know what’s it’s like to loose a limb in combat-”

“I didn’t loose my arm in combat.” His voice was deep and unwavering, even while the horrid memories came to the front of his mind, “you have no idea what I went through.”

“We know some. Rumors fly in the military.” Franks states, “we were all Marines together, and after Curtis lost his leg, I became a Navy Seal and Bill here became a Scout Sniper for the Marine Corps Reconnaissance. We’ve had our fair share of being screwed over by those in authority.”

“Am I supposed to give a shit? All that crap is behind me, what I care about is my business now, the same business that you three have been fucking up for the past week. So what the fuck do you want and what the fuck does Y/n have to do with it?” Bucky growls out, his patience slipping.

“We mean no harm, not to you, and especially not to Y/n-”

“I’m supposed to believe that, you used her to get to me right? If you cared about her you wouldn’t have done that-” Bucky begins before he gets cut off.

“Don’t you dare say that we don’t care about her!” Billy almost shouts stepping forward before stopping when Bucky brings the gun out of his pocket and lets it rest by his side.

“Y/n is one of the few things in this world we care about, she’s family okay, and we would never hurt her-” Curtis says

“Really, then how would you say she’s gonna feel if I go back to her apartment and tell her all about this, huh?” Bucky calls back

“You’re not gonna do that though, are ya? Because you know if you did, it’d break her heart, and you don’t wanna do that do ya Buck? Not when ya like her so much?” The words come from Billy, the annoying grin back in his face.

“What make you think I care that much?” Bucky says, even though his thoughts state the opposite.

I do. I do care.

“If you didn’t you would have shot us already.” Frank responds with a very valid point.

That makes Bucky clench his jaw and tense his gun wielding hand.

“All we want is a business meeting okay, talk about a potential partnership.” Frank stars crossing his arms, staring unklinking at Bucky.

“A partnership? It’s gonna take more than you fucking up a few things for me to even think about considering that. And what the hell would I get out of a partnership with you three?” Brucky responds, seriously considering just shooting the three men dead on the street.

“Well that’s something we can talk about later, but just so you know we have our hands in some business ourselves and more than enough bodies to keep our shit going, but we’d all be a hell of a lot richer if we worked together” Curtis states, shifting his weight onto his good leg.

“Plus just think about how happy our girl will be if we all got on.” Billy chimes in with a quick wink.

Our girl. OUR girl? God I wanna shoot these assholes.

Bucky keeps his calm facade up, unwilling to show the man that his words affected him.

“Fine. Be at the Comandos bar at 8 pm tomorrow, just you three, no weapons.” Bucky responds, wanting this conversation to be over.

The three men share quick look’s between themselves, and then Frank steps forward with his hand out towards Bucky and says “We’ll be there.”

Bucky doesn’t even look at them before turning quickly and walking back into the building, pulling out his phone to call Steve.

Frank chuckles, puts his hand down and turns to get in the car.

“Think he’ll tell her?” Curtis asks.

“Nah. He likes her too much.” Billy replies, while opening the door and getting in.

—————

What the hell is taking him so long? God I hope the boys didn’t catch him and give the whole ‘if you hurt her we’ll kill you’ talk. The boys are scary but Bucky’s a damn mobster.

The heavy knock on the door stops your pacing, and cause you to run to the door and pull it open to see the aforementioned mobster.

He doesn’t even say anything before barging in, kicking the door closed behind him while his hands go straight to the sides of your face, pulling your lips to his. His grip is gentle, but his mouth is bruising, his teeth nipping your bottom lip.

You pull back to catch your breath, leaning your forehead on his and catching your breath.

“Not even a hello? You missed me that much?” You flirt quietly, whispering into his mouth, hand clutching his waist through his coat.

“More than you know darlin’ I needed to see you…and touch you,” Bucky responds, silently thinking I needed to make sure you were okay.

Oh please do.

“All I’m hearing is the big bad mobster saying he needs me” you tease, praying he didn’t take offence, yeah he’s sweet and lovely but I’ve only gotten a tiny glimpse at the other side of him.

“Is that how you see me?” He leans back to his full height, staring down into your eyes, dropping his hands to his sides.

Shit.

Bucky grips your wrists and takes your hands off his body, moving them into his metal hand, the surface cold on your skin. You scramble to respond, wanting to tell him you thought the opposite, but his flesh hand moves to his pocket before you can talk.

“Big bad mobster huh? Oh doll you have no idea,” he says with an indiscernible look on his face, pulling out his glock.

Oh fuck, I was only teasing.

“Wait Buck-“ you start before he cuts you off.

“Y/n…Are you scared of me?” He asks, his grip on your wrists loose enough that you could get out of his grip if you wanted to.

You didn’t move. Looking into his eyes, an overwhelming feeling of calm takes over, the blue of his eyes the same as the sky after a storm.

“…no. I’m not.” I probably should be but apparently I’m crazy.

“Do you think I’m bad?” He asks.

All the stories, all the rumours, the memory of your first meeting, and the call he took in the shop come flooding to the forefront of your mind. That he’s a man with no mercy, cares for nothing and no one - except money, sex, and violence.

“…not to me.” You answer.

He pulls his arm up, holding the glock in between your faces, showing it to you. The bottom of his tattoo- your tattoo- sticks out from under his sleeve.

A normal person without a broken brain would take this as a threat. Why am I attracted to this?

He makes eye contact with you over the barrel, turning his hand and resting the muzzle on your cheek, but there is no fear in you, you can see his trigger finger resting on the side of the barrel.

“Do you trust me Y/N?” Bucky asks, his eyes not moving from yours.

You take a second to think about it.

The man is a fucking mobster for Christs’ sake. He’s a criminal, a gun runner, a drug trafficker, and not to mention a killer. His kills have hit the news before, no evidence proving it was his organisation, but everyone knows. It doesn’t matter if it was Bucky that pulled the trigger, held the knife, planted the bomb, nothing happened that wasn’t on his order. Can I really trust a man like that?

Your hesitation to answer has an effect on Bucky. He moves the gun, dragging it down your neck and resting the muzzle in the dip of your collar bone. You look down at his hand, finger still nowhere near he trigger.

“Y/n.” He calls quietly. Your eyes jump back to his and he speaks again, “do you think I would ever hurt you?”

That question has an answer you don’t have to think about.

“Not unless I did something to deserve it.” Your attempt at humour was immediately seen to be the wrong answer.

He sticks the gun back in your face, muzzle pushing between you lips, scratching your teeth. The movement causes your eyes to go wide, fear slipping onto your face.

“Did you do something to deserve it? Have you fucked me over Y/n?” His voice is tense, deadly serious, an unstable look in his eyes, his metal hand tightening on your wrists.

You lean back a little to answer, “…no, no of course not Buck. What’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”

He stares at you for what feels like hours, his face perfectly still, not giving anything away.

She doesn’t know. She truly has no idea. Thank fuck.

He drops the gun and lets go of your wrists, taking a few steps back, giving you space.

“I’m sorry doll, I’ve just had very hard day, some new information was given to me and it’s fucked me up a bit. I’m sorry Y/n, truly I am, I didn’t mean to freak you out.” His hands run through his hair, pulling at it harshly. “Shit darlin’, what the hell was I doing?” He mumbles the last bit to himself.

“Buck..Bucky, hey calm down, it’s okay-” you start before he talks again.

“It’s not okay! I just put a fucking gun in your face.” He keeps rambling, seeming like a whole other person than he was a minute ago.

“Buck! Stop, stop jabbering,” you grab his wrists, taking his hands from his hair and pulling him towards you.

He stops talking, and stares at your hands in his, the metal of his prosthetic shining a stark contrast against your skin.

You take a second to look at him, eyes studying his face. He looks worried, and a little scared.

Huh, didn’t know a mobster could get scared. Is he’s scared of me and what I’m gonna say… or is he scared of himself?

“You don’t scare me Buck…you probably should, but you don’t. ‘Cos you’ve been nothing but good to me, even a minute ago when you were acting weird, I knew you weren’t gonna do anything-”

“How? How did you trust me to not hurt you, when I was waving my glock in your face?”

“You had your finger on the barrel”

He’s silent for a few seconds, thinking over what you said. He takes a deep breath, meeting your eyes.

“I don’t know what to say,” Bucky responds.

“Then don’t say anything.” You say, the imagine of him with a gun in his hand fresh in your mind.

That whole episode should not have been as hot as it was. Shit I’m fucked up.

Bucky stares at you (he does that a-lot), unsure of his next move.

“Kiss me, dumbass.”

He moves before you can blink, his hands gently grabbing your face and pulling you to him. His kiss takes your breath away, gentle but firm. Your hands grip his elbows, encouraging him to keep going.

He takes the hint (thank fuck) and splits your lips with his tongue, his nose pressed hard against your cheek. He moves his hands down to your hips, gripping hard. Your hands grip the back of his head, fingers playing with his hair, tugging at it slightly when he completely deepens the kiss, your tongues tangling together. He lets out a quiet groan at the feeling, taking his left hand off your hip and tensing it by his side. You break the kiss when you feel the loss of his touch.

You take a second to catch your breath, Bucky leaning his head against yours.

“Why did you take your hand off me?” You ask.

“What?” He responds, the small dazed look on his face making you chuckle a little.

“Your hand, I liked it where it was.”

“Oh..that. It’s uh..it’s pretty strong, I can’t tell how hard I’m holding something, I can’t feel it so I tend to hold things a bit too hard… I broke like 5 cups in the past week-” he answers, stuttering his way through the sentence.

“Stop talking Buck, and you say I ramble,” You say, putting your finger to his lips. He stops talking, and you continue, “I trust you Buck, I’ll tell you if you’re holding me too hard. Plus I like it a little rough.” You finish with a wink at him, pulling his hand back to your waist.

He drops his head back, eyes closed and takes a deep breath in. He mumbles under his breath something that sounds like ‘god you’re perfect’, then he crashes his lips back into yours, both hands tightening on your hips.

He moves faster now, more intense with his kiss, his teeth scraping yours slightly and he presses you backwards, walking with you until you bump into the wall, his flesh hand stopping your head from hitting it.

Aww how sweet. The thought is thrown from your head when Bucky drops his head and presses kisses to your jaw, his hand curling in your hair to pull your head back, exposing your neck to him.

“Oh shit,” you whisper, as he licks a long stripe up your neck, nipping at the pulse points he finds. Your hands drop to his hips and pull him flush to you, groaning when you feel how much you’ve affected him. He kisses his way back to your lips, his metal hand moving to rest on the side of your neck, thumb resting in the front of your neck. Bucky gives you a long hard kiss then pulls back breathing hard.

“God girl, you are gonna be the death of me,” he whispers, lips brushing against yours as he talks.

“Fuck I hope not,” you respond, pulling his hips tighter against yours making him choke back a groan at the feeling.

His phone starts to ring.

Fuck off.

You pull him to you again, lips trailing across his jaw.

“Shit doll, wait a second baby-” he starts before you cut him off.

“Wait? Wait for what Buck, you don’t want me?” You tease, brushing your nose along his.

He crashes his lips against yours, his ringtone fading as his kiss overtakes your mind. Bucky pulls back after a few seconds, growling softly before stepping back to pull his phone out of his pocket.

“Are you seriously gonna answer that?” You ask, incredulous to his action.

“I have to darlin, could be an emergency,” he answers, taping the screen to answer. He puts the phone to his ear and says, “talk to me.”

You ignore his conversation, grabbing his metal hand to inspect it. The plates shift as you turn it over to look at the palm.

What an incredible feat of engineering, I wonder how it works. And how it feels-

Your dirty thoughts are cut short as he pulls his hand out of your grip, turning and taking a few steps away from you. His voice is quiet, probably to keep you from hearing whatever illegal shit they were discussing.

You jump when he shouts.

“THE FUCK? Rogers you get them to find more information on those shitheads, or I swear to fuck I will rip their fucking hearts out. I don’t care anymore, this shit needs to stop right the fuck now!” He stops his tirade and listens to ‘Rogers’ on the other side for a few second before he starts up again, “I know that asshole…one of the fuckers is married, find the wife… I have no idea if she’s involved man, I doubt it but she’d be good leverage… and get me some more information on their business so I’m not going into this shit show unprepared.”

That gets your full attention. Find the wife? Leverage? And do what? Threaten her? Hurt her? …kill her?

A shiver rips its way down your spine at that thought.

Would he do that? If she’s not a part of the issue, would he still hurt her? He already proved he’d hurt anyone that fucked him over, proved that when he stuck his gun in my mouth.

“Yeah…I know, get Stark on it, send Talia and Barton out too, see if they can get any news on the street… tell Barton to keep his cool, I don’t need anymore shit right now” Bucky says, switching the phone to his metal hand, using his flesh one to pull at his hair again.

His back is still turned to you, his coat stretches over his shoulder, the back rising with his hand in his hair.

He has a gun in his waistband.

Your eyes flit to the glock he drop on the floor earlier, and back to the one tucked in his waistband.

Is two guns really necessary?

Your answer comes with his next sentence.

“Fuck Steve I know that…you think I got this far without any personal protection? I’m good if anything happens man but I don’t think it will, they seemed pretty insistent on the fact they meant no harm..”

He continues to talk for a minute until he ends the call with a quick “get it done Steve, or we’re all fucked.” He places the phone back in his pocket, takes a few deep breaths and turns back to you with a tense look on his face. He takes another deep breath and steps towards you. Without meaning to you take a step back, hitting the wall behind you. Bucky stops as soon as he sees your movement.

“Sorry about that sweetheart, didn’t mean to upset ya.” He says, his voice quiet and calm, as if he was talking to a injured dog.

You let the silence linger for a second, deciding whether or not to ask the question that was begging to be said.

Fuck it.

“What are you going to do to her?”

He tilts his head at the question, unsure of what you’re talking about.

You take pity on his confusion.

“The wife? What are you going to do when you find her?”

Something settles in his eyes, his mouth twisting into a grim line.

“Nothing…unless I have to.” Bucky responds.

His answer does nothing to calm your pounding heart.

“You mean you won’t do anything unless you find out she’s involved?”

“Yes.”

“So you won’t do anything if she’s not a part of …whatever it is?” You ask.

“That’s right.” He nods with his answer.

“Except use her as leverage?”

He’s silent for a moment, and sighs as he rolls his left shoulder. He doesn’t break eye contact, and he’s completely resigned to whatever his answer is about to be.

“If I have to.” There is no lie in his voice, no guilt or remorse in his eyes.

Holy fuck. There’s the soldier again, the man with no mercy, does whatever he needs to come out on top.

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.

He wouldn’t hurt me. Would he?

He answers like he heard your thought.

“It’s business doll, we do what we have to do. Sometimes it’s rough and bad and awful and yes, people get hurt. Sometimes even innocent people get hurt. But I will never apologise for being the one that does the hurting, me and mine have had our fair share of getting hurt, and I’d rather hurt and use some people I don’t care about, than watch my people, my family, get hurt. I will not allow that to happen, not when I can to something about it.” He stands straight, like a soldier. The conviction in his voice actually makes you feel calmer.

Assuming I’m someone he cares about, I should be fine, right?

It slips off your tongue before you can catch it.

“Do you care about me?” You shift your weight as you talk, unsure if you actually want to hear the answer.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” He states, his tone steady.

“Say it properly,” you demand, crossing your arms over your chest, a subconscious way of protecting yourself, “I need you to say it properly Bucky.”

He shifts his weight now, seemingly uncomfortable.

“Yes�� I do care about you,” he answers, clearing his throat in the middle of his statement, “do you care about me?”

You were unprepared for him to flip it back on you.

“I need you to answer truthfully Y/n. Do you care about me, as I am? The ‘big bad mobster’” he says, taking a step closer to you, and taking another when you don’t move away from him.

“The man who broke into your flat to threaten your roommate who owes me? The one who was going to shoot your friends dead on the street? The one who stuck a gun in your face? I’m a killer Y/n, a fucking mobster, and I’m not changing any time soon. Do you care about me as I am?” He asks, reminding you of the shit he’s done since you met him, not even counting the things you haven’t heard about.

You take a second to consider his questions.

I think I do, how fucked am I that I do?

You finally clock what he said.

“You were going to shoot who dead on the street?!”

————

hehehehe I feel like an evil mastermind.

If you are not tagged here- I either will tag you in a separate post- or I cannot tag you for some reason.

Tags:

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#mob!bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky fic #mob!bucky x tattoo artist!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky x reader #mob!bucky #mob!bucky x female!reader

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thefallennightmare · 7 months

Text

One Night-two

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings: lots of smut(mask play, spit play, bondage, anal, fingering, oral(m/f receiving), chocking, unprotected sex), swearing, angst, fluff.

Summary: One night. That's what Noah and Reader agreed to. No questions, no second thoughts, and no regrets. But will one night be enough to fill the hunger they both craved?

Authors Note: This took me three days to write(busy life) so I apologize if some things are repetitive. This is almost 10,000 words so buckle up. Maybe there will be a part three if a lot of people want it.

Tags: @pluviophillics @catj422 @iknownothingpeople @yumikitten @circle-with-me @dsireland86 @a1ex-ba1ex @blackveilomens @iamdesolate @shaydayhere @tearfallpixie @nerdraging4point0 @laris-angels

The door opened and in walked, Jolly, Nick, Folio, then followed by Britt whose hand intertwined with Folio’s. She had a smile on her face until her eyes fell on my flushed face. I did my best to smooth down my shirt and hair, not wanting any of them to realize what they nearly walked in on. Britt, however, with the way her brow raised and the corner of her mouth curled, I knew she had an inkling of an idea.

“What have the two of you been up to?” Britt asked.

Her and Folio sat on the couch opposite of us with Jolly and Nick sat next to me, who was sitting a few inches from Noah.

“Nothing, just talking,” I said.

“Right,” she nodded with the same smile on her lips.

Noah leaned back into the couch with his arm across the back, his fingers so close to my shoulder. I could feel the heat radiating off of him and I could almost smell my arousal on his fingers still. I ran my hands over my thighs with nerves until I hear Noah sigh beside me.

“What?” I asked, my eyes landing on his face.

A face that gave away nothing of what we did. Or what we talked about seconds before everyone walked in.

“Why are you nervous?” He asked.

“I wonder why,” I muttered before turning my attention back towards Britt.

She was watching Noah and I intently however before she could question what we were doing again, Jolly looked at his phone before motioning to the guys.

“We should get ready. It’s almost time for us to go on.”

They all stood, Noah’s fingers grazing over the back of my neck, and as they all moved about the room getting ready, Britt was fast at my side. Her eyes dragged over every inch of my face then crossed her arms over her chest.

“What did he do?” She asked.

“Huh?”

I did my best to play dumb.

“When we came in, you were jumping onto the couch while trying to fix your hair and your cheeks are still red,” she said.

My hands went to my cheeks, and I cursed when I felt how warm they were.

“Plus,” she said again. “Your zipper is down.”

“Shit,” I pulled up my zipper and leaned back onto the couch with a groan.

Britt leaned in closer so no one else could hear. “Did you two hook up?”

“No,” I shook my head. “Well, not exactly.”

“Not exactly?” Britt wondered.

I let out a deep breath. “Jacob called me from someone else’s phone and I said some things in front of Noah that made him-.”

My voice trailed off, suddenly embarrassed to say what happened. Britt urged me on with a shake of her hand. I looked to my left, noticing the guys being preoccupied with getting ready for their set, and turned back to her.

“It was brought up that Jacob never made me orgasm so Noah wanted to make me while on the phone with Jacob,” I admitted, playing with a loose strand from the ripped hole of my jeans.

She gasped. “Shut up!”

Her voice rang throughout the room, and I quickly hushed her while looking back to the guys. Noah gave me a look, and my heart flipped at the sight of him in a black cargo pants, black jacket, with his blank tank top underneath. He looked so fucking good and I wanted nothing more than to walk into his arms accepting his offer.

“I can’t believe you and Noah,” Britt said with a small chuckle.

“If I’m being honest, I can’t believe it either. There was something about him from the second I walked in here. I wanted to forget everything for a few minutes,” I admitted.

She patted my knee. “Noah is a great guy, Y/N. And from the way he keeps stealing glances at you, I’d say he’s interested as much as you are.”

As much as I wanted too, I didn’t peak over my shoulder. Besides, I could feel Noah’s eyes burning into my back. It was setting my skin ablaze remembering his fingers inside of me and his lips on my skin.

“Really?” I asked with a small smile playing at my lips.

Britt nodded.

I thought about telling her about the proposition Noah offered but decided against it, only because I wasn’t sure on what I was going to do.

“You guys ready?” Nick asked.

Britt and I both nodded.

“You two can hang out on the side of the stage to watch.”

While Folio and Britt chatted, I stood from the couch to give them some privacy. There was a warm presence behind me and as I turned on my feet, my breath hitched at the sight of Noah. He had pulled a black ski mask over his face and core warmed with desire. I didn’t doubt that my panties were wet because of this.

There was a list of kinks I was in to but this, a man wearing a mask, was a new one.

“So, did you think more of my idea?” Noah asked.

“Um, kind of. I still have a few questions.”

Even underneath the mask, I knew he raised a brow. “Which are?”

I licked my lips. “Where would we do this? Just because I’m considering spending the night with you, doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with you in my apartment.”

He let out a low laugh. “We’re staying in a hotel tonight. We can spend it in my room.

I nodded, the answer to my first question settling my nerves a tad. As I tried to ask my next one, I found myself distracted by the vision in front of me that was Noah. He was dressed in his full concert gear and I thought of him naked only wearing the mask tonight.

“Do you like the mask, Y/N?”

His voice was low and husky, filled with his own desire, and I clenched my thighs together hoping it would scratch the itch in my core momentarily. Before I could stop myself, I was nodding with my bottom lip caught between my teeth.

Noah leaned forward, his warm breath cascading over my ear.

“I could wear it tonight, if you’re a good girl.”

A soft moan fell from my lips which made his eyes darken. Our gazes locked and the longer we watched on another, the thicker the sexual tension built between us.

“What’s your next question?” He asked.

I blinked, remembering what we were talking about.

“Uh-,” I stuttered. “Is there anything off limits tonight?”

Even though I loved the way he looked underneath the mask, I wished he would take it off for these next few questions. I needed to see his face when he reacted to them.

“You’ll have to be more specific, angel.” His finger hooked into the black chocker around my neck.

Fuck.

I don’t think I’ll ever respond like a normal girl whenever he would call me that.

There was no one else around us but I still kept my voice quiet.

“I’m into some things that others might think is weird. With sex.”

Noah hummed. “You’re not the only one.”

A blush crept over my cheeks as excitement filled me.

There was only two more questions I had left to ask, both of which were extremely important. His answers would be the deciding factor if I agreed to this or not.

“If I feel uncomfortable or want to stop, would you?” I asked.

“The second you ask me to, I will,” Noah answered without missing a beat. “Would it make you feel better if we had a safe word?”

My brows raised. “How far are we going to go that we need a safe word?”

Noah sighed while wrapping his arms around my back, pulling me into his embrace. My breath quickened as I looked at the others. Except, we were the only ones in the room again. We were so engrossed in each other that neither of us noticed everyone had left.

“Angel,” Noah gripped my chin, forcing me to look into his brown eyes underneath the mask. “I keep thinking about all the things I get to do to you tonight if you say yes.”

I whimpered, actually fucking whimpered. The only thing Noah has done to me tonight, besides making my heart skip a beat every time he’s near or talking to me, he made me fall apart on his fingers. And that orgasm was mind-blowing, the best I had. Granted ninety-eight percent of orgasms I had were self brought. What else did he have in store for me?

It scared me but turned me on just as much.

“What would the safe word be?”

Noah thought about it for a few seconds before giving my hips a light squeeze. “Mercy.”

“Okay,” I agreed with a nod.

The nerves about tonight were slowly fading, excitement being all I felt.

“One last question. Well, more of an agreement.”

When Noah urged me on with a nod, I took a deep breath.

“Can we agree no feelings are to come out of this tonight? I just got out of a long relationship, the last thing I need is another one, especially with someone who is on the road a lot.”

It was true. The last thing I needed was another relationship after the disaster of one that ended a few days ago. Even if Noah looked like an alternative Greek god covered in tattoos with such a filthy mouth.

“I’m not going to force you into anything, Y/N,” he reassured me.

Alright, that was pretty easy.

“Okay,” I said after a few beats of silence.

I was still in his embrace and sprawled my hands over his chest. His heart beat rapidly underneath my touch.

“Is that a yes?” Noah wondered.

My lips parted to give my answer but rapid knocking on the doorframe caused us to break apart, Jolly staring between us for a few moments.

“You ready?” He asked Noah.

Noah’s eyes darted from me to Jolly while nodding. “Yeah, sorry. I’m coming.”

Jolly turned his attention towards me. “Britt is already waiting on side stage.”

“Side stage? We’re not watching in the crowd?” I asked.

“The crowd can get kind of crazy. Plus, you’ll be able to watch better from side stage,” he said.

Noah’s hand slipped into mine giving it a squeeze then let my hand drop to the side, something I returned without a second thought. A silent answer to his question.

He pulled the hood over his eyes, not before giving me a quick wink, and all I saw peaking out from underneath it was his pink, full lips that I so desperately wanted to taste.

I was wrong.

So fucking wrong.

I thought hearing Noah talk was heaven but hearing him sing then scream his lyrics sounded like heaven.

All four of them had an amazing stage presence that made you dang on your feet and headband along with them. I watched mesmerized not only at Noah but all four of them. I did not expect that voice and those screams to come out of Noah. He continued surprise me and Britt noticed because she kept elbowing my side every time he would look over to side stage, making sure I was still there.

I never gave him a physical answer, so he probably thought I would leave.

That was the plan once morning came. I would leave him, most likely never seeing him again. But after watching him perform in front of a sold-out crowd, I knew it would be painful to do so.

Their fourth song just finished and Noah had lost the ski mask and jacket, leaving him in his blank tank and cargo pants. The way he danced along the stage brought a small smile to my lips. Now an instrumental tune of their next song played while all four of them made their way over towards us for a quick break. I had an unopened bottle of water in my hand and I extended it towards Noah when he stopped in front of me. He took it with a smile of thanks and took two very large gulps.

“Having fun?” Noah asked

I nodded with a huge smile. “I’m glad I stayed.

“So am I.” His eyes twinkled under the stage lights before he leaned in closer to my ear, warm breath on the side of my face. “I can still taste your cum on my lips.”

Noah was gone, back on stage performing, before I could react. My panties were soaked and desire burned hot in my belly. All night, Noah kept me turned on even giving me one orgasm, but I needed more. I needed Noah so damn bad.

I was so fucked.

“Are you sure you don’t need a ride back home? I have no problem dropping you off,” Britt crossed her arms over her chest to keep some warmth.

We were standing outside the back of the venue, waiting for the guys to exit. The show ended a bit ago and we let the guys pack up their things and talk just the two of us outside. The rest of the show was amazing, the way all four of them came alive on stage was almost envious. I was an author, writing my first novel, and while I absolutely loved being able to stay home and do that, something about the artist life made my entire body giddy with excitement.

Britt was going back to her place with Folio and kept reassuring me she could drop me off home beforehand. I kept declining, saying that I can call an Uber. To be honest, I didn’t want to tell her about my decision to spend the night with Noah. I knew she wouldn’t judge me but I wanted the night to happen before I told her about it.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. Enjoy the time you have with Folio,” I waggled my eyebrows at her.

Her cheeks flushed with heat as she looked down at her feet for a few beats before she gave me a slight shove.

“I could say the same thing about you and Noah. Don’t act like I didn’t notice the looks you two were giving each other tonight. He looked directly at you when he sang the way you fuck, the way you taste.”

Now my cheeks flushed as I remembered it. Thank god Britt was the only one that noticed it. Noah had a lot of fans and if any of them noticed him singing those lyrics to me, some wouldn’t be too happy.

“It’s nothing,” I said with a wave of my hand.

Britt scoffed. “Right. Well whatever happens tonight, be protected.”

Now I scoffed. “You too.”

We talked for a few more minutes until Folio and Noah walked over towards us, dressed into different clothes. My heart flipped when I saw Noah wearing a pair of sweat shorts and a black hoodie, the tattoo’s on his thighs on full display.

Was he covered in them?

I couldn’t wait to find out.

“Ready?” Folio asked Britt.

She nodded while lacing fingers with him then looked back to me. “Are you sure you don’t need a ride?”

Noah wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest, which surprised me.

“I’ll make sure she gets home safe.”

Britt winked. “I’m sure you will, Noah.”

“What time does the bus leave tomorrow?” Folio asked Noah.

“Eight.”

As they did the typical man hug handshake, Britt gave me a quick hug.

“Bye-.”

“Nope!” I held up a hand. “You know I fucking hate that word.”

The guys looked at me with confused eyes.

“Anytime someone leaves that I plan on seeing again, I refuse to say goodbye. To me, it’s always see you later,” I explained.

Some thought of my reasoning as stupid but I had good reason to think like that. The last time I said goodbye to someone, they were ripped away from me in a car accident.

“I’ll call you tomorrow?” Britt asked.

I nodded and gave her and Folio a wave, Noah’s arm back around my shoulders now. It was a chilly night but the warmth that emanated from him kept me just as warm as a jacket would.

“You never gave me an answer,” he said while pulling me into his chest.

I looked up at him under my lashes. “I think me staying here waiting for you was answer enough.”

A mischievous smile spread across his face before he began leading me away from the bus and venue. He must have seen the confused look on my face because he nodded in front of us.

“The hotel is right around the block. I figured we could walk there.”

“Aren’t you worried about fans following you?” I asked.

He shrugged with his shoulder that I wasn’t tucked underneath.

“Most of them have left. The ones that are waiting around are hanging out on the other end of the parking lot. They won’t see us,” he reassured me.

After I nodded, silence fell around us but I didn’t mind. Something about Noah brought a sense of calm that I didn’t find with anyone else. It should scare me that I only knew this man for a few hours but I would still let him to anything to my body tonight.

We turned a corner, and the hotel came into view. It was late, nearly midnight, so there weren’t many people in the lobby as we entered.

Seven hours.

That’s all we had left together, and I wondered if it would be too much time.

“Are you hungry?” Noah asked as we stopped in front of the elevator.

I tried not to frown when his arm fell from my shoulder.

“I’m okay.” I said.

Quickly the doors opened and Noah let me step inside the elevator first with him following close behind. We stood so close, Noah behind me, that I’m sure he could hear how fast and shallow my breathing had become. Now that we were heading to his hotel room, it was suddenly set in what was going to happen tonight.

His large, tattooed arms wrapped around me from behind as Noah buried his face into my neck, breathing me in. I rested my head against his shoulder and let my eyes fluttered shut. It was incredible how his touch had calmed my nerves.

“Last chance to say no,” he said.

I shook my head. “I need this.”

Noah hummed into my skin, his lips pressing soft kisses up behind my ear and I shuddered in delight in his embrace.

“Promise me something?”

“Depends on what it is,” I semi joked.

There was no way I would promise something important like my life or soul to him.

“Promise after tonight you won’t go back to that asshole,” Noah breathed.

In the way his words sounded, I knew that if that happened, it would bother him. Maybe even hurt him.

“As long as you don’t go back to whoever cheated on you,” I shot back quietly.

Jolly mentioned it earlier in the night but Noah never spoke of what happened.

“Trust me, that won’t happen.”

I turned in his embrace and wrapped my hands around his neck, my fingers running through the ends of his hair.

“I have one rule for tonight,” I started.

“Besides not catching feelings?” Noah said with a slightly crooked smile.

“Fine,” I sighed defeated. “I have two rules. No feelings and I think in order to help that rule, we shouldn’t kiss tonight.”

Noah’s face fell only for a second before a neutral expression plastered over his face yet again.

“Alright. No feelings and no kissing. But remember what I said, no second thoughts and no regrets.”

The doors opened behind us and without turning me around, Noah walked us towards his room which seemed to be only a few doors down from the elevator. I heard the click of the door behind me and soon; we stood in the darkness of his hotel room. The silence that enveloped us was deafening. There was a golden glow brushing across Noah’s face from the streetlamp outside and my breath hitched at how beautiful he was.

“Nervous?” His voice was quiet.

“No,” I hoped my voice didn’t waver.

“Then why are you rubbing your hands on your thighs?” He dipped his gaze to my hands.

Fuck, he was perceptive.

I quickly clasped my hands together and began bouncing on the soles of my feet.

“You need to relax, Y/N. I’m not going to hurt you,” Noah muttered while closing me in against the wall next to the door. “Unless, you want me too.”

Oh shit.

I swallowed before the words stuttered from my lips. “Ye-yes.”

Noah cocked his head to the side, something glinting in his eyes. “Do you remember the safe word?”

I nodded, voice quiet.

“Good,” his traced a finger down my neck and over my collarbone.

His touch set my skin ablaze and my eyes fluttered shut enjoying the way his strong hands gently wrapped around my throat. The pad of his thumb pressed against my pulse point and the new sensation made my heart race.

My sex life with Jacob was as mediocre as you would think. Missionary majority of the time with the occasional fuck from behind. Nothing different and we never explored our kinks. However, with the way Noah’s hand was around my throat I knew that tonight would be nothing like I’d experience before.

“Lay on the coffee table,” he ordered, voice turning dark.

I blinked rapidly, mouth suddenly dry. “What?”

“Strip out of your shit and jeans then lay on the coffee table,” Noah repeated.

My fingers shook as I pulled my shirt up and over, letting it fall to the floor. My bra wasn’t anything special, a simply black cotton one, but that didn’t stop Noah’s eyes from drinking in the sight. When I slowly stepped out of my jeans, those falling on top of my shirt, in the darkness I could see his pupils dilate, the whites almost not noticeable.

“Fuck, angel,” he licked his lips while hooking a finger into the strap of my red lace panties. “You look delicious in red and I can’t wait to taste you.”

My pussy clenched at his words and I swore he could smell my arousal when I saw his nostrils flare slightly.

“Lay on the coffee table,” he ordered again.

I shuffled my feet over towards the small living area of his hotel room and realizing there was nothing on there; I sat on the edge. It was a sturdy table, so I felt somewhat safe that it wouldn’t collapse on me with whatever Noah had planned.

He stood in front of me, and I looked up at him through my thick lashes. His hips were meters from my face and through the fabric of his shorts, I could make out the hardness of his cock. My mouth watered at the sight. I was only in my bra and panties but that sight was enough to make him hard.

“Lay back, angel.”

Noah gently laid me back onto the table so my upper body was sprawled against it while my hips hung off the edge and feet planted on the ground. He sat on the floor with his back against the couch so his face was in front of my clenched knees. With soft hands, Noah spread my legs wide, hunger clouding his eyes and slid my panties down my legs. I half expected him to toss them over towards my other clothes but he set them down next to him.

“Keep them spread,” he tapped the inside of my knee.

I spread my legs once again and this time, Noah groaned at the sight.

“Beautiful.”

I whimpered, not wanting to wait any longer. I could feel my arousal drip down my legs and we haven’t started yet; well besides what we did in the green room of the venue.

My hips jerked when I felt a warm wet tongue glide over my folds.

“Shit,” I moaned.

This experience was new for me so I feared I would be a bit more jumpy than normal. Hopefully Noah wouldn’t notice.

With his hands gripping my thighs apart, Noah’s tongue flicked over my clit before forcing it between my folds now and we both groaned my back arching off the table as I subconsciously jumped away from him.

“Someone’s jumpy,” he breathed against my core.

I chewed on my bottom lip while staring up at the white ceiling. “I, uh. This is a first for me.”

Noah’s head snapped up from between my legs, a look of shock on his face. “You’re lying.”

Now I was looking at him with a sheepish expression. “No. Jacob never liked the idea of going down on me.”

“Let me guess, he had no problem with you going down on him thought?” He scoffed after his question.

My silence was answer enough.

Now that I was actually talking out loud about things from my relationship with Jacob, I realized how disgusting of a man he was and I deserved so much better.

“I’ll take care of you, angel. After tonight, no one will compete.”

I did not doubt that.

Noah’s tongue was back between my folds, lapping up before circling my clit. He repeated the motion a few times and my breath was coming out short and fast.

Fuck, it felt so good. There was no way it could get better than this.

My hand itched with the need to run through Noah’s hair and it was as if he read my mind because he guided my hand into his hair.

“Pull as hard as you want. I can take it,” he mumbled before going back to fucking my pussy with his tongue.

I was wrong; it could get better.

My hips began to grind against his face, the coil in my stomach heating the growing orgasm. Every muscle in my body tensed as warmth spread at the base of my spine. His name was on the tip of my tongue as his finished faking me then slide up my entire center. When I felt his teeth graze my clit, I let out a guttural groan while yanking on his hair.

Noah’s licks turned into small bites then he was sucking on my clit as he slid one finger into me, slowly pumping it in and out.

“Oh, fuck Noah. Just like that. Don’t stop,” I panted.

One hand was in his dark locks while the other was grasping the edge of the table to keep me grounded.

A white haze danced at the edge of my vision and now the heat spread underneath my skin as it prickled with electricity. My orgasm was so close and Noah could tell because he went back to licking my now swollen clit while his fingers continued to fuck me.

His name fell from my lips like a chant as I finally came, a scream echoing in the room, and Noah licked me through every aftershock until I was a writhing mess on the table.

“Shit,” I breathed.

Noah finally pulled away then got up onto his knees while leaning over the table. He was taller than me so even on his knee’s and me on the table; he loomed over me.

“Open,” his lips barley parted as he gripped my chin.

I obeyed and nearly crumbled in another orgasm when he spit my arousal in my mouth; it had a tangy sweetness to it. The whole action was downright disgusting, and I fucking loved it.

“You taste so good, angel. I could eat you for the rest of my life,” Noah mused.

My chest rose and fell with every deep breath as I finally came down and he helped me to my feet.

“Good?”

I nodded with a dazed smile. “So good.”

Noah brushed some hair out of my face, serious eyes locking with mine. “Am I going to be giving you a lot of firsts tonight?”

“I’m not a virgin so don’t worry about that.”

My voice had a slight edge to it and didn’t know why. He was only wondering there was no need to snap at him. But that didn’t stop me from walking past him, well trying to anyway.

Noah gently grasped my elbow. “I don’t care if I am going to be giving you a lot of firsts tonight, Y/N. I only want to make sure you’re okay with it. I don’t do gentle sex.”

My pussy clenched as it remembered how hard he had bit and sucked just moments ago.

I let out a long breath and nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” he nodded towards the bed. “Take off your bra and lay on the bed.”

“I don’t see how it’s fair that I’m about to be naked while you’re still wearing your clothes,” I jeered at him while pulling at the end of his hoodie.

Noah chuckled, and my heart fluttered at the sound.

“Patience, angel. I have six hours and thirty-four minutes with you. I’m going to take advantage of that.”

The room filled with my squeal of laughter as Noah gently tossed me onto the bed, my body bouncing slightly.

“Give me five minutes. When I come out of the bathroom, I want you naked and sprawled out for me, understand?” Noah spoke from the foot of the bed. “Keep this on.”

He pointed to the choker on my neck.

Eagerly, I nodded then watched as he rummaged around his suitcase for something before slipping to the bathroom. Not wanting to waste anymore time, I threw my bra across the room and did my best to get comfortable on the bed despite my nerves. I changed my position on the bed a few times, each time shaking my head at how stupid I must have looked. There was no need to look sexy for Noah. If he wasn’t even a bit attracted to me, we wouldn’t be here.

Eventually I decided on simply laying on the bed while being propped up on my elbows. I let my hair fall across my shoulders and the cool air of the room caused my nipples to perk into hard buds. I also turned on the lamp on the end table, that way we could see each other better.

Not even five minutes later, Noah stepped out of the bathroom and I squeaked out a moan at the sight. He wore a pair of black briefs that were tight, thanks to the hard cock that was pressing against the fabric for release and in one of his hands he was holding onto a black belt.

But that didn’t have my attention. Neither did the many of the tattoos that colored almost every inch of his skin. It was the black sky mask he wore, his dark eyes pinning me into place on the bed. Noah began slowly stalking towards the bed the exact moment I sat up straighter, my senses on high alert. When he reached the edge of the bed, his hands circled around my ankle before dragging me over to him.

My flight or fight kicked in and I writhed against his hold which made him grab my wrists with his free hand and pin them above my head as he leaned over me.

“Remember the safe word?” Noah questioned.

All I could do was nod. Even though my heart was hammering against my chest, I was excited to find out what he had planned. There was no way I would utter our safe word.

“Good girl,” he mused. “Now, on your knees.”

I didn’t even have a second to react to the praise before Noah pulled me off the bed and down onto my knees. He wasn’t in front of me for long because he walked behind me and yanked my hands to my back. I hissed out in slight pain when the leather of the belt dug into my skin as Noah tied my wrists together. Once satisfied with the tightness of them and wasn’t worried I could slip out, he was back in front of me and yanked my head up to look at him. The pain that burned at the base of my skull felt so good.

“You look so fucking perfect on your knees for me,” Noah breathed from underneath his mask.

I licked my lips as his grip left my hair to pull down his briefs, too slow in my opinion. I almost whined in protest.

Noah clicked his tongue on his teeth. “Someone is impatient.”

“Please,” I begged.

He cocked his head to the side and the sight of him like this made my mouth run dry; mask covering his face, tattoo’s glistening in the moonlight that broke through into the room, and briefs halfway down his hips. The base of his cock was the only part visible and from what I saw, the thickness of it, told me I was not ready.

“What do you want, angel?” Noah asked while cupping my cheek.

I kept my gaze on his half shown cock, hoping that would give him an answer.

“Eyes on me!”

They snapped up at him with his demands and I clenched my legs together hoping it would ease the need I felt between my legs.

“Use your words, Y/N. What. Do. You. Want?” Noah slapped my cheek with each word, not too hard but firm enough to leave a bit of a sting behind each slap.

How was it that this man who barley knew me somehow knew some kinks I was into?

“I want your cock,” I whispered.

Noah hummed in approval, and soon I was rewarded with the full sight of his thick cock. The beads of pre-cum dripped out of the slit on the head of his cock and I licked my lips before I realize what I was doing.

“You want a taste?” He wondered.

I nodded, pleading with a small moan.

Noah sat on the edge of the bed then positioned me in between his legs. His large tattooed hand wrapped around his cock and slowly stroked it, his thumb teasing the head and smeared the pre-cum all over it. He groaned while his hips bucked into his hand.

“Open.”

His thumb brushed over my lips and I tasted the sweetness of his pre-cum as I wrapped my mouth around him. I sucked his thumb like it was my last meal, savoring the way he lingered on my tongue. Noah gritted his teeth as he groaned and hastily removed his thumb. His cock was thick and angry, begging to be sucked like I just had done to his thumb.

“Ready?” His voice and eyes were blown with lust and my stomach felt fuzzy inside.

“Fuck yes,” I breathed and opened my mouth wide.

While Jacob was the only man I had sex with, I had given head a once or twice before him so atleast with this; I had some experience. And Noah, by far, had the prettiest cock I’d ever seen.

My tongue glided over the bottom of his shaft as he slipped past my lips and when his head hit the back of my throat, I gagged only a little. His length wasn't something I wasn’t used too, but it didn’t deter me from swallowing every inch of him. I wanted to grab what I couldn’t in my hand but they were still tied behind my back so I bobbed my head up and down while swirling my tongue around the head.

“Fuck, angel. So good.” Noah croaked, his hands pulling at my hair.

He was guiding my head up and down before holding my head down when I took him in deep into my throat and gagging a bit on the thickness.

“Yes, take the whole fucking thing. Gag on it.”

I was slick in between my legs, my arousal coating me as my pussy begged to be touched, so all I could do was squeeze my legs together. I dared a glance up at Noah between my lashes and nearly came at the sight. Noah’s head fell back, lips parted underneath the black ski mask and the muscles in his tattooed stomach clenched as he his orgasm built. I could tell in the way his cock twitched in my mouth.

He looked so fucking breathtaking and moan vibrated against him from my throat which made Noah shiver underneath me, his grip on my hair tightened. Tears brimmed at the corners of my eyes but they were good tears and drool dribbled down my chin, jaw aching, but I refused to stop and complain. I wanted Noah to come apart from my mouth and tongue.

“You’re going to be a good girl and swallow all of it.”

I nodded, mouth full of his cock, and felt it pulse inside before a guttural groan erupted from Noah. His warm cum filled my mouth, and I eagerly swallowed every drop. It tasted so fucking good.

Noah, who had taken off of the mask, lifted me off of him with a pop then began massaging my jaw. “You did good, angel.”

I mewled at the praise and leaned into his touch until he gently lifted me onto the bed. I was on my knees while he sat behind me to undo the binds around my wrists. I rubbed at the red marks. They didn’t hurt but were a little sore. Noah left a small kiss to the back of my shoulder while his hands ran up and down my hips and I reveled in his touch.

His dick twitched against my back, and I smirked.

“Ready for some more?” I teased.

Noah agreed with a hum and one of his hands slide up my stomach towards my breast to palm at the left one. I leaned my head against his shoulder letting out a long breath as his fingers pinched and pulled at my nipple.

“So perfect,” he mused.

With one hand on my breast, his other found my aching clit and began rubbing it in small circles. I jerked with his touch and rubbed my ass against him. His cock slid against my slick folds and I gasped when the head nearly slipped inside.

Then I realized, we hadn’t talked about something kind of important.

“I thought it would be good to know that I have an implant. You know in case you were worried. I mean, we could still use a condom.”

The corner of Noah’s lips curled up in a smile at how fast the words spilled from my mouth and halted his movements on my clit for a few seconds. He buried his face into the crook of my neck.

“I’m clean.” He assured me with a soft kiss to the back of my neck.

I nodded. “So am I.”

“Good, because I want to feel everything.”

Noah bit the skin behind my ear, and I hissed out in pleasure. His hands gripped my hips to lift me up a few inches, the head of his cock pressing against my entrance. It amazed me he was hard again after orgasming a few minutes ago.

As he pressed inside, I sucked in a breath at the sudden stretch. Even with how wet I was, it still took some coaxing to push in every inch and when he was finally was, I let out an embarrassing moan of satisfaction. We kneeled there on the bed, Noah behind me as I sat on his lap with his cock buried deep, and I knew after tonight, no one would ever compare to him. He didn’t even start moving yet, just enjoying the way my pussy clamped around him.

“Angel,” Noah strangled, trying to keep himself together.

“Please,” I begged while I began moving my hips against him. I needed some kind of friction, the anticipation was killing me. “I need you to move, please. Don’t worry about hurting me. I need it.”

Those words were what Noah needed because soon, his hips began snapping up into me with no falter. My head fell back onto his shoulder while my hand snaked up into his hair. He pulled out his cock, leaving only the head inside before burying himself deep inside of me. He did this a few times over and my body fell over slightly. Noah’s tattooed arm wrapped around my stomach to keep me pressed hard against him and our breathing synced together, short and shallow.

“Oh yes,” I moaned when he hit that spot, stars dancing across my vision.

His finger pressed against my swollen nub and rubbed up and down then side to side.

“This pussy is mine tonight,” Noah grunted, enunciating each word with a thrust. “Say it.”

I pulled his hair. “Yes, Noah. Yours, it’s yours.”

He stilled his thrusts for a moment, teeth dragging across the skin of my back. “Fuck, I love the way you say my name. Say it again.”

I did, over, and over like a prayer as my orgasm crested.

Suddenly, Noah had switched our position, and I was on my back while he leaned over me, my legs up over his shoulders. The emptiness in my pussy made me almost cry in disappointment and he gave me a sly smirk.

“Don’t worry angel. I just want to see your face when you fall apart on my cock.”

Yes, please.

With one fast snap of his hips, his cock spread me open again, and I screamed out in pleasure. This new angle being exactly what I needed to have my orgasm wrap around me once again. It was so close, I could taste it on my lips.

“Your pussy is clenching around my cock, fuck angel. You’re going to cum,” Noah’s hand smacked against the swell of my ass.

The sudden sharp pain made me yelp, so he did it again, this time harder. And on the fourth slap, it was my undoing as I came with a shout. My body convulsed with the aftershocks and through the haze in my vision, I noticed Noah’s eyes shut when his hips stilled.

I cupped his face and brushed my thumb over his bottom lip, wanting so bad to taste them. It was my rule, no kissing, and at the moment I was regretting it.

“Cum for me, Noah.”

Our eyes locked before he tipped his head foreward to lick and bite at my nipple. With one final, hard thrust, he spilled himself inside of me as the final clenching of my orgasm milked him.

“Y/N,” he breathed against my breasts before gently collapsing on top of me.

I was spent, and exhausted, and as we lay there in each other's embrace, I wanted sleep to take me for a few moments. My head was off to the side where I read the clock. It was just after two a.m.

Five hours left.

My fingers brushed the hair from his face and Noah hummed in delight but didn’t open his eyes. He was also exhausted and despite only having a few hours left together; I let the both of us rest our eyes for a while.

I awoke sometime later with a tongue flicking at my clit while two fingers pressed into me. My head snapped up from the bed and saw Noah buried between them, his hair disheveled.

“Hm, this is a great wake up call,” I moaned arching my back off of the bed.

He pulled away from my core to lean up over me, his fingers still working in an out of me.

“I couldn’t stop myself. You looked so fucking beautiful laying there.”

Every inch of my skin heated in a blush with his compliment and tried to bury my face into the pillow but with a harsh grip to my chin, Noah forced me to look into his eyes.

“Don’t hide from me, angel,” he said.

I didn’t.

We both held each other's gazes as his fingers brought on my fourth orgasm of the night, this one not as loud as the others. My throat was raw, but it still ruined me, my body collapsing onto the bed. Noah pulled his fingers out of me and I bit my lip when I saw them glisten with my wetness as he brought them to his mouth, licking them clean.

“I think you’ve wrecked me.”

I sighed when he pulled me into his chest, and I wrapped my leg around his waist.

Noah chuckled. “We slept for an hour.”

I frowned when I saw it was now 3:15 in the morning. The moonlight brushed across our bare skin from the large window in the room and for the first time since we started this, I actually took in all the tattoos that covered Noah. My fingers traced the floral design on his chest then skidded over the female and male skeleton and traced up to the design on his neck. It was a hand with a snake intertwine around it and an apple with green leaves.

“Did this hurt?” I asked.

His own fingers were tracing over the small design of my back shoulder tattoo. It wasn’t anything like his designs, a simple collection of flowers that wrapped around to my arm.

“Like a bitch,” he admitted.

I looked up at him after tracing over the one on his stomach; it was a reaper that had a sithe and a lantern.

“Which one is your favorite?”

He propped up his leg and pointed to his thigh. It looked like some kind of anime character.

“Which is your biggest?” I asked.

Noah waggled his eyebrows at the innuendo and I playfully smacked his chest. “I mean tattoo, you perv.”

He sat us both up before showing me his back and I sucked in a small breath. It was large, almost taking up his entire back. It was a picture of what I assumed was Jesus with the crown of thorns. I wasn’t a religious person, but I’d admit, it was beautiful.

Noah turned over and crawled over me, his dark eyes staring at me from above. My hand ran up his chest before locking behind his neck and I almost titled my lips up to kiss him.

“Do you want to be a good girl for me?” He asked with a low voice.

I clenched my thighs while nodding.

Noah to the doors that led to the balcony. “Go outside and wait for me.”

“What?” My brows furrowed, not understanding why he wanted that. “It’s the middle of the night. What if someone see’s us?”

“You said it yourself. It’s the middle of the night, no one will be out there. Now, get your perfect ass outside and wait for me.”

Noah crawled off of me and dismissed me with a swift pat on my ass. When I stepped outside, the cool air brushed against my heated skin and my nipples instantly hardened. The street was quiet below and thankfully, no one else were outside on their balconies. Whatever Noah had planned, no one would see.

My hands grasped the railing on the balcony when the door opened behind me, Noah pressing me into his chest.

“Keep your legs straight but bend over the railing,” Noah rasped into my ear.

The pounding of my heart thundered in my ears as I obeyed him, ass pressing into his semi hard cock. His feet kicked mine farther apart while his hand dragged down my spine and stopped at the tight hole between my cheeks and I froze with hesitation.

This was something I never done. It was forbidden, even with fingers or toys.

“Has anyone ever taken you here?” Noah breathed against my neck as he leaned over me.

I shook my head.

His large hands palmed my ass, spreading my cheeks farther apart. “Will you let me?”

My body squirmed in his touch. “Won’t it hurt?”

A soft kiss to my cheek. “I’ll go real slow, angel. And I have lube.”

I turned my head farther to the side and noticed the small clear bottle in his hand. The mere thought of having his cock in that hole made my body shiver with not only fear but desire.

“Okay,” I breathed after a few beats of silence.

Noah’s cock twitched then I heard the pop of the bottle cap opening and a cold liquid coating between my ass.

“You’ll have to relax. I’ll be able to slide in easier if you’re not tensing, okay?” He said.

I nodded.

Noah worked my tight hole with one finger, going about knuckle deep before a hiss fell from my lips. But after a few seconds, the pain subsided to pleasure and as the hiss of pains turned to moans of pleasure, Noah worked in another finger. He fucked my ass with the two fingers until he thought I was stretched far enough open for him. I had my head to the side so I could watch him and once he pulled his fingers out, he spit on his hand then wrapped it around his cock.

Some of my arousal dripped down my leg at the sight of him spitting and I secretly wished he would spit on me.

“Safe word?”

A warm smile pulled at my lips because Noah continued to make sure I was alright with what he was doing to me tonight.

I pushed my ass farther into his hips. “Fuck my ass, Noah.”

“Anything for you, angel.”

His cock slowly pressed into my ass and I did my best not to tense up but the pain ached, causing some resistance. The sound of Noah spitting echoed in my ears as I felt the cold saliva dribble down the crack of my ass and I moaned loudly. So loud I was sure whoever was in the room next to us would have heard.

“You like it when I spit on you?” Noah asked while pressing a little deeper into me.

“Yes,” I hummed when the pain was gone, sheer ecstasy filling my veins.

He rutted against my ass as his strokes were long and deep. I rested my forehead against the cool metal of the railing and my pussy clenched around air, wanting something to fill it.

“Touch yourself,” Noah rasped, gone in his own ecstasy.

My fingers worked against my bud, sparks shooting through me. With one of his hands digging nails into my hip, his other wrapped around my throat pulling me up into his chest. This new angel caused him to go even deeper and my eyes exploded with a white haze.

“Such a whore for my cock.”

The grip on my throat was tight, cutting off my oxygen, but not enough where I would pass out.

“Yes, Noah.” I agreed.

His teeth dug deep into my neck, leaving I didn’t doubt another dark mark. I hadn’t checked in a mirror but from the faint pain I felt after he bit me every time tonight, there had to have been marks left behind.

“My whore. My angel,” He grunted as his hips stilled, cum shooting into my ass.

“Yours,” I called out as my orgasm followed him, body falling slack into his embrace.

The warm water brought a large smile to my face as Noah sat behind me in the large bathtub, rubbing the body wash deep into the sore muscles of my back. After our time on the balcony. Noah dragged me back into the room to fuck me on the couch then ate me out on the bathroom counter before I sucked his cock while he sat and filled up the tub for our bath.

It was now 6 in the morning, the sunrise breaking through the clouds, and we had one hour left together. I did my best to hide my disappointment because while my heart was breaking for leaving him, Noah didn’t seem bothered by it. I mean, this is what we agreed on. We would part ways when the time came, both doing our best to forget each other.

Bullshit.

From the first second Noah’s fingers touched me back in the green room, I knew I was fucked. He ruined me tonight, in the best possible way. No other man could ever compare to him in how sweet he spoke to me outside of sex or the filthy dirty things he called me while having me bent over, moaning.

I could try to have relationships after this but what was the point when all I would do was think of Noah. Everytime I looked at him or traced his tattoos or ran my hand through his hairs so I could get a better look into his dark eyes, my heart would skip a beat while my stomach flipped, butterflies fluttering to life.

Noah made me a promise that I wouldn’t like of Jacob at all tonight and he made very well on that promise.

I cursed when I realized Britt’s advice from earlier had in fact worked.

“They best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

A soft tune hummed deep from Noah’s throat and I leaned closer into him, loving the way it sounded. It almost lulled me to sleep, but I forced my eyes to stay open.

“That sounds beautiful,” I murmured.

Noah wrapped his arm around my stomach underneath the water. “It’s from our second album. It’s called If I’m There. One of the few slower, softer songs we have.”

“I can’t believe I’ve never heard of you guys. It seems like you guys are pretty popular,” I said.

“We really blew up this last year. It’s been a crazy change but neither of us are complaining. This is something we wanted since we formed the band.”

I turned my head up towards him so I could look into his eyes. “Where are you guys headed to next?"

"Portland then our final show is in Los Angeles. Then were home for 5 months before we head overseas for a few weeks." Noah answered while moving the wet strands of hair from face.

"Do you ever get to rest?" My eyes held a hint of sadness.

That life sounded exhausting and couldn't imagine being away from home for that long.

Noah shrugged while placing a chaste kiss on my damp shoulder. "When we get back from Europe, I'll have about three months before another tour starts."

Silence fell between us and as the warm water turned cold and minutes dwindled down to only twenty left between us, Noah lifted me from the tub and carried my back into the room, water dripping from our bodies.

“What are you doing?” I giggled when he tossed me onto the bed.

He spread my legs apart with his knee. “I want one last orgasm from you, angel. Think you can do that for me?”

I was exhausted, bones and pussy aching, but he asked so nicely. How could I deny him?

Noah wrapped my leg around his back while he lined his hard cock against my entrance, brown eyes locked with mine as he filled me to the brim. I arched my chest into his as my hips raised, giving him a deeper angle. This time, his strokes were slow and soft, taking his time with me. His tongue flicked over my nipple, teasing at pulling before he shifted over to the other one, mimicking his actions. The pad of his thumb teased at my clit while his cock pulled most of the way out, my arousal glistening on him.

“Noah, I’m going to-.”

My words fell, my orgasm building and cresting into a crescendo. Bright stars etched in the edge of my vision as my breath became shallow.

“Look at me, angel,” Noah grunted. “Open your eyes and look at me.”

I did, my breath catching in my throat when I saw the look of adoration shinning in his brown iris’. His lips were meters from mine, I could feel his warm breath fanning over them. One rule I set suddenly didn’t matter anymore since this was ending in five minutes so I told myself fuck it.

I crashed my lips to his, finally being able to taste him. Noah didn’t miss a beat, his tongue dancing with my own. His lips molded perfectly with mine, almost as if we were meant to be. Cliche, yes, but that was the only way I could describe it. It was a desperate kiss, teeth smacking against each other, and he bit down on my bottom lip while his thrusts became erratic then with a shuddering scream, we both fell apart together.

We lay there in our post daze of bliss for a long moment of silence until his phone rang loudly, the alarm he had set for seven breaking the glass of the glass house we created to protect us from reality.

Noah pulled out of me and rolled over to silence his phone while I stood from the bed to find my discarded clothes. Tears burned at the brim of my eyes but I quickly blinked them away as I cursed to myself. I didn’t think I would get so attached to Noah but here I was, not ready to leave him yet even though I had too.

Once dressed, I turned on my heels and saw Noah was standing a few feet in front of me, still shirtless, but had his hands buried deep into the pockets of a pair of sweatpants.

“Seven a.m.” He said with a nod.

I bounced on the soles of my feet. “Yep. I don’t know if I should say thank you or something.”

Noah laughed. “Trust me, angel. You helped me just as much I did you so there’s no need to thank me.”

I nodded, not sure what else to say.

“Did you need me to call you an Uber or something?”

“Already taken care of,” I held up my phone.

I had ordered one before I dressed, must to the dismay of my aching heart.

Noah nodded now. “So then, I guess I’ll see you around?”

Letting out a shaky breath, I held my head high while squaring my shoulders. In order to help curb the pain that was stabbing my heart, I knew what I had to do; something I hated and always refused to do. This would never work between us, Noah said it himself he barley had time for himself when he was home, how could we balance a relationship? Plus, this was only a onetime thing; something we both agreed on.

Swallowing thickly, I opened the door and looked back over my shoulder. His bright eyes dulled, probably from the exhaustion from our night and barley any sleep. I stood for a few seconds, waiting to see if he would make any kind of move but he continued to stand on the other side of the room with hands deep in his pockets.

I shook my head with another shaky breath, one lone tear slipping down my cheek and the strongest smile I could muster.

“Goodbye, Noah.”

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