#i wish she was like august and just straight-up broke off the marriage on the spot

[bluberimufim]

Happy STS! 💜💌 What role does symbolism play in your WIPs, if any? What symbols relate to certain characters, events, or emotions? How do you decide what symbols to use, or what these symbols mean? Are they intentional, or do you notice them after they've appeared in the story? :) - @liv-is

Happy STS!!

Sorry to have procrastinated this ask but I wanted the answer to be good because of all the different parts the ask has. I'll split it into parts. The answers are about "Black and White", my beloved main WIP.

This is gonna be Lengthy.

What role does symbolism play in your WIPs, if any? What symbols relate to certain characters, events, or emotions?

Colours are very important in B&W. The whole circus is like a colour wheel with a big black and white tent in the center (each colour zone has a distinct Vibe but that's a post for another day). This mirrors how the story has a lot of pieces, with each side character being represented by a different colour, but they all ultimately revolve around Darius and Diedrich, the two protagonists, represented by black and white respectively.

In truth, Diedrich (white) is the original here, and Darius wants to define himself by contrast, while also being a foil to Diedrich, his kinda-mentor. Diedrich carefully guarded the secret of having sold his soul for his magic, while Darius tells everyone he did the same, despite no one believing him. Diedrich took Darius as an assistant and, in turn, Darius says he'll never take on an assistant in his life. He wears black suits and Diedrich wears white suits. But there's still many similarities between the two: their names start with the same letter, they use similar-sounding intros for their shows, and, when Markov joins Darius later on, he can't help but think of him as "his" Johann (who is Diedrich's best friend and travelled everywhere with him).

The Thing I wanted to get to is that both of their love interests are associatedwith the colour red. August (Darius's (ex)boyfriend), wears red almost every day as part his costume, and Lucille (Diedrich's wife), says her favourite colour is red. Hugo, who is Darius's other ex-boyfriend, also has slight associations with red. This is because all these lovers have one thing in common: they are tossed aside by their significant others in exchange for success. Although it's much more prevalent in Diedrich, on account of him being in the story for 38 years, Darius also does this. Diedrich has abandoned his wife three separate times because he just can't quit being a magician. (One of these times was when their son had just died, something indirectly but kinda directly caused by Diedrich, and he just didn't want to be with his wife bc it was depressing.) In the very first chapter, Darius leaves Hugo to go work under Diedrich, knowing full well this will probably land him in poverty. Then later, he basically says to August "come with me or we're done" (slightly better than straight-up abandoning, I guess, but still messed up), and August says "let's break up then".

How do you decide what symbols to use, or what these symbols mean?

The use of colour came to me very easily. I'm an artist, so I give it a lot of importance. For me, it's always one of the things that better defines a character's design in my mind. I'm a very visual person, so it ends up being the most obvious symbol for me, more than actual images.

I also have a Thing with Veera and Alexis's colours in the dystopia WIP, but I feel like I need to develop that more, but also because this post is already enormous. The dystopia WIP has a lot of colours.

Are they intentional, or do you notice them after they've appeared in the story?

Mostly they're accidents. Like the tent thing? I just realized that while writing this. The red thing has been around for a biiiit longer but it was also accidental.

But when I do notice a nice parallel or symbolism, I double down on it.

There's this parallel I completely accidentaly established between Anna (Diedrich's sister) and Johann's romance and Alphonse (Diedrich's son) and August, and I only noticed because I repeated a sentence in two dialogues (it was along the lines of "I want to love you in the sunlight"). Johann and Anna are obviously straight but their romance is taboo just as much as Alphonse and August's (which is gay) because Johann is married, but the marriage was forced upon him by his parents - kinda like, for queer people, society decides what your love should look like with no regard for what you truly want. Johann and Alphonse have just as much fear of disappointing their families, despite their difference in sexuality, because they've been told their love is unacceptable.

Aaaaaaanyway this was a very fun ask! I love rambling!!

It was also huge tho. I went off the rails.

#listen i love diedrich #he's one of my favourite ocs ever #but lucille needs to divorce him asap #great character. ok father. absolutely shit husband. #i wish she was like august and just straight-up broke off the marriage on the spot #fun fact if you line up all the side characters in a particular order #you get the original pride flag #bc i'm queer and i do what i want #writing #my wips #writeblr #sts asks #asks #sts #black & wip

[speechlessxx]

I Can Keep A Secret. - 4 (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Chapter Summary: In a jealous rage, Steve accidentally says something he doesn’t mean as he discovers something personal about the reader. 

Warnings: no Clark in this chapter, slight fingering (18+ Minors DNI), nudity but not really, lots of cussing, angsty, make-out scene, shitty writing (it’s been a while i’m sorry!), AGE GAP (reader is stated to be 21 but age is just a number. call her wtv age you want). 

Word Count: ~2.7k 

again... i apologize this sucks. i haven’t written anything since like august. 

Buy me a Ko-Fi (not necessary but i’m broke, yo) 

<- Last Part -=+=- Next Part ->

Steve never considered himself a jealous man. When he was involved with Sharon Carter, he never paid any mind to the revolving door of “friends” she entertained. Truthfully, throughout the numerous relationships he’s had in his life, Steve Rogers had never been the one to be jealous.

How could he?

Steve didn’t think he was an egomaniac nor narcissistic – not in the way that Tony Stark was, at least. But he knew he was charming. He knew he was wealthy – the black cards in his Burberry wallet reminded him of that. He knew he was handsome. He knew his worth – hell, even Forbes did.

His thoughts had never been infiltrated by the ugly, green rage monster that filled his head with insecurities. That is… Until the headlines and photographs of (Y/N) Barnes’s dinner date with “America’s richest and handsomest” bachelor, Clark Kent, had made its rounds.

It was a form of self-torture as he scrolled furiously through the many posts about the two.

Dynasties Colliding!

Clark Kent off the Market?

Everything you need to know about (Y/N) Barnes, Clark Kent’s new girlfriend.

He clicked his tongue in disgust at that last article as he skimmed through it. It was obvious that the writer had a biased opinion – one so clearly against (Y/N) – as it pointed out her “college dropout” status and her “naivete” to be involved with a man ten years her senior.

He scoffed… If only they knew.

Though, Steve couldn’t help but compare himself to the younger man. Sure, Clark was richer than he was with a booming business and a company created generations before Steve was even born. His net worth pushed him much higher than Steve and Bucky on the Forbes’s listings. But surely, he didn’t have the same chemistry as he and (Y/N) did… Surely.

As if to mock him, a photo of Clark kissing her knuckles appeared on his monitor. He glared at it, fuming with hot jealousy. He hated that feeling bubbling inside as he stared at her flustered face digitally immortalized by paparazzi and fan photos.

His phone buzzed to life as the screen displayed her name… And he did what he had been doing for the past few days following the polo match, he sent it straight to voicemail, spiteful that she even entertained Clark’s request to go on a date.

Had he misread the signs? Had there been any signs to begin with? Had she played him? Was he just her happy distraction until she could find her bearings in New York?

A sharp knock interrupted him from his thoughts as Bucky’s broad shoulders filled his open office door. He had a wide smile on his face as he entered the room, closing the door.

“You read the gossip?” Bucky chuckled. A sly smirk on his face as he sat himself in the seat across Steve’s desk. Steve quickly clicked out of his tabs and raised his brows at Bucky. “With (Y/N) getting Clark interested, other investors are looking at us, too. It’s great.”

“So, you’re really using your daughter to lure business opportunities?” Steve snorted. Considering how enchanting she was, it wasn’t a terrible strategy. If Steve hadn’t gotten so attached so quickly, he’d even advise Bucky to have her stalk the airport terminals, too.

“It’s working, man. He’s interested in the company. He wants a tour. He’s talking big money. We can scrap any deals with Stark. He’s our top priority now.”

“Buck,” Steve laughed so dryly it became a scoff. “He’s not interested in the company. He’s clearly interested in her – and only her. As soon as you give the green light and she rips the cord with him, he’s gonna back out. He’s got the lawyers to make sure that any contract he signs will get voided, too.”

His tone had been hopeful although Bucky didn’t pick up on it. Bucky had just waved it off as Steve being cautious – not Steve hoping that his daughter would dump Clark and focus all her attention back on him.

“No, no.” Bucky shook his head, waving his hand, too. “She’s equally into him. Piqued her interest more than Peter did, for sure.” Steve stopped himself from rolling his eyes, knowing damn well that she was never interested in the Stark boy. “He dropped her off and she was blushing like crazy. Ran to her room and practically screamed her head off with that Wanda girl on the phone.”

Steve pressed his lips into a straight line. He didn’t trust himself enough to respond, knowing any sarcastic remark would land him in the hot seat, with Bucky asking questions he wasn’t ready to answer… or rather, didn’t have the answers to.

“Besides… y’know one contract that’s incredibly difficult to get out of?” Steve hummed. “A marriage.”

Steve choked. “Marriage? Buck, c’mon, she’s twenty-one.” Bucky nodded, taking his daughter’s age into consideration. “Marriages are definitely the easiest to get out of. Must I remind you the reason why you haven’t seen her since she was a baby?”

“Hey!”

“Besides, isn’t he too old for her?” Steve internally cringed. Suddenly, wishing he could take it back, afraid of what Bucky would say. Like you aren’t thirty-nine, dumbass?

“He’s thirty-three. She’s twenty-one. She can date whoever she wants. She’s an adult.”

“That’s dangerously permissive.” Stop talking.

“Why’re you acting like her father, Steve?” Bucky asked, raising his brows inquisitively.

“I’m just saying, Clark’s closer in age with us than with (Y/N).” Steve shrugged. “I’m just looking out for her.”

I just want her to myself.

“Well, since you’re oh-so invested in looking out for her, I’m gonna need a favor.”

»————-　♡　————-««

Out of the many things to do on a Friday night in the big city, Steve found himself walking through the threshold of the Barnes’s penthouse. He silent cursed at Bucky, who asked him to look after his daughter for the weekend. The same daughter he had been avoiding for the past week, blowing off her calls and leaving her texts unread.

Steve found Bucky’s favor to be a direct contradiction to the statement he made prior. She’s twenty-one. She’s an adult. An adult who needed another adult’s supervision as it seemed.

However, Steve understood. She was relatively new to the city, only being here for a little over a month and a half, and known for her reckless behavior back in Los Angeles – the reason why she was in New York to begin with. Although Bucky didn’t quite keep her on a tight leash, he kept on a leash, nevertheless.

Bucky had already left that afternoon, leaving the penthouse somewhat quiet save for the music coming from the hallway that led into (Y/N)’s bedroom. He cracked a smile as he approached the hall. He could hear her obnoxiously singing along to the provocative lyrics of that one song – WAP, was it?

His hand absentmindedly found its way to her doorknob, twisting the metal and pushing the door open. She shrieked as her phone fell from her hands with a thud against the floor. She scrambled for her towel that lay haphazardly on her bed, messily wrapping it around her naked body.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” She screamed over the music. 

Steve stared at her with wide eyes like a deer in headlights. Her hair was still damp, knotting and begging to be combed out. Her chest heaved as she breathed heavily. The towel did little to hide her from his hungry eyes as he fought to keep his stare at her face and only her face. She called for the Alexa to stop playing the music before running a hand through her knotted hair. 

“Steve, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Your – your dad asked me to – uh – “he was losing the battle as his eyes gave her a look over, feeling the heat rise to his face. It was not the only thing that has risen. He tore his stare away from her, scanning the room instead. “He asked me to watch over you.” Steve explained, finally finding the words.

“Like a babysitter?” She scoffed. She had been itching to see Steve, hating him just a bit for ghosting her, but looking like that? She was willing to forgive.

“Yeah…” Steve nodded.

“Well,” she smirked playfully, “since you’re baby-sitting… Why don’t you let your baby sit on your lap, huh, daddy?” She batted her lashes at him, and he instantly melted, forgetting his jealousy and spite for just a second. She reached out for him and had him sit at the edge of her bed, straddling his thick thighs. “Excited to see me?”

His resolve and pent-up angst disappeared. “You’re damn right.” Steve muttered, hand fisting her knotted hair and smashing his lips onto hers. The kiss was every bit hungry and desperate as it was passionate – like two star crossed lovers finally catching a moment alone.

She moaned into his mouth as his free hand slipped beneath her towel, which was loosening as she grinded against his strained pants. His fingers explored her slit, fumbling as he tried to find her bundle of nerves.

“I missed you,” she gasped as he found it within seconds, rubbing tight circles around her clit.

His lips left a trail of kisses along her jaw and sucked the sensitive skin under her ear, eliciting long moan from her as he played with her, relishing in her responsiveness. He felt her juices coat his fingers as he teased her hole, but the moment suddenly cut short when her phone dinged.

Once. And then a second, then a third.

She looked over her shoulder and glanced down at the screen. Steve pinched her, causing her to gasp again. “Don’t.” He warned her, his voice a deep growl.

It dinged again. “I’m gonna silent it,” she promised, pecking his lips as she hopped off his lap. “Oh,” she frowned. She ran a hand through her knotted hair before glancing at him, then typing.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked her as he stood from her bed and walked over to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her into him.

“I… Uh… Clark wants to hang out again.” She told him.

Steve rolled his eyes though she didn’t see. “Blow him off.” He told her, leaving a trail of kisses on her shoulders, leading back up to that sweet spot beneath her ear. Her eyes rolled back before she pushed away from him. “We haven’t seen each other in days – “

“Because someone kept sending me to voicemail,” she rebutted. “I-I have to go see him, Steve. If my dad found out – “

“Then tell him you’re not into him.” Steve insisted. She remained silent as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. Steve frowned. “Wait, are you – are you into him?”

“I dunno…”

“You don’t know?” He asked her. “If you’re into him, the hell are you sitting on top of me naked for?”

“Steve – “

“God, it’s like you like making yourself easy to guys.” The envy – the green, little monster that tore at his ego and his heart – suddenly rose. No thoughts were running through his head – just angry words from his mouth.

“Excuse me?” An enraged look splayed across her face. Brows furrowed and arms crossed defensively.

“Well, considering you sold pictures of yourself to total strangers – “he stopped himself before the rest of the sentence. The self-control had finally resurfaced, but the damage had been done as fury in her features mellowed and turned into hurt.

“Is that… Is that what you think of me?” She asked him, willing her voice not to crack but the tears had already begun to form. She furiously blinked them away before huffing. “Well, it doesn’t matter what you think anyway ‘cause I’m not with you.”

“And what you’re with Clark Kent?” He seethed his name.

“At least he doesn’t call me easy.”

Steve chuckled, dryly. “Bar’s set low then, huh? Says the girl who sucked me off on the airplane when we knew each other less than two hours. Wonder the things you’d do for him.” It was spite. His words were pure spite and jealousy. They held no meaning but they sure had weight. 

“What’s your problem?” She snapped. “Damn it, Steve! I like you. I really do, genuinely, but y’know it fucking sucks when the guy you like suddenly ghosts you.”

“And it fucking sucks when the girl you’re actually interested in goes on a date with some hot shot, pretty, rich boy. Probably fucks him in the back of his limo, too.”

She stomped over to Steve, shoving him with one hand while the other kept her towel from slipping off. “Get. Out!”

“No, no,” Steve argued, grabbing her arm easily overpowering her to stop pushing him. “You’re gonna answer.” She raised her brows at him. “Are you fucking him in the back of his limo? Are you that easy?”

Her jaw dropped as she stared at him in disbelief. “You’re not my dad, so that’s none of your concern.” She began to push him towards her door, and he let her this time. “And…” Her fingers tapped against the wooden door as she stared back at him. 

“It’s none of your business, but for your information, I’m a virgin.” She clicked her tongue as a smirk splayed across her face. “Won’t be for long, though. ‘Cause Mr. Kent is inviting back to one of his many lavish, expensive homes in New York.”

And with that she slammed the door shut, locking it with the new lock her father had installed.

»————-　♡　————-««

“(Y/N)…” He called out to her, knocking on her door. “C’mon, sweetheart.” It had been half an hour since their fight, and she had yet to come out of her room.

“Go away!” She called out from the other side of the wooden pane as if she were a child.

“I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean it. I was just jealous – “

“I don’t care, Steve!”

He sighed. “C’mon, sweetheart. Let’s go out for dinner, yeah? Just me and you. Whatever you want. You wanna embarrass me by making me use chopsticks? Let’s go. You wanna hit me with a bottle of champagne? Take your pick. I’m down.”

“Fuck off, asshole!”

You deserve that. He agreed.

Steve suddenly heard a click of the lock before she pulled the door open, pushing past him and he let her. She had a duffle in one hand and her phone in the other, typing away. “Where are you going?”

“Away from you,” she spat. She didn’t even spare him a second look.

“You going with Clark?”

“None of your business, dick.”

He called her full name and she stopped in her tracks, spinning on her heel to look at him with her brows raised. Steve had his hands on his hips as he stared at the floor before looking down at her. “You are not leaving and that’s final.”

“Oh, yeah?” She challenged, taking a step towards him. Her heel clicking against the ground. She crossed her arms across her chest as she tilted her head. “And what? You’re gonna stop me?”

“Don’t make me, sweetheart.”

“Well,” she smirked. “Take it up with my dad… because unlike you, he actually approves of my blossoming relationship with Clark Kent. I swear he’s already planning the wedding … while I, on the other hand, all I care about is the honeymoon… And I think we’re gonna get a head start to it, actually.”

Steve took a step towards her as she took a step back. “Stop being a little brat and just – “

“No, Steve,” she corrected. “I’m being easy. And you’re completely right… Sometimes being easy is just fun.”

He grabbed her arm before she could turn around and pulled her towards him. She bit her lip as she stared up at him with faux innocence. Her lips glistened with whatever gloss it was she used to make her lips plump as she challenged every bit of authority Steve had.

He wanted nothing more than to kiss that bratty attitude right out of her. He leaned in as her eyes fluttered close and he knew he had her. Then, suddenly, the elevator doors dinged and opened, ruining the moment. Both their heads snapped towards the guest.

“What the hell?” 

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #I Can Keep A Secret #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans #chris evans smut #steve rogers smut #captain america x reader #captain america #captain america imagine

[baby-hyena]

You’re Beautiful | a KHSxJJH Fanfiction

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JU JI HOON!!! 🥳 

Note: Here's the 2nd part of JJH's point of view. If you haven't read the 1st part, here's the link 😊 https://baby-hyena.tumblr.com/post/616744455208353792/tenerife-sea-khsxjjh-fanfic

 Song used: You're Beautiful cover by Ju Ji Hoon

 ~

My life is brilliant

Ji Hoon couldn't sleep that night. He's been rolling over his bed to find a comfy position but he still couldn't sleep. The filming finished late. He decided to workout a bit. He thought that maybe exhausting himself will put him to sleep. But he's still wide awake. When he lay down on his bed to try to sleep again, a small voice speaks at the back of his mind. Go to her, he blinks at that thought. He reaches for his phone to check the time and it's midnight. He sends her a text asking if she's still awake. But 10 minutes later, he got no response. He gets up and decided to go to her house.

My life is brilliant

When he arrived at her house, the lights were off. She's asleep, he thought. He was hesitant to go inside. It's not the first time though, it's just that he still fears that she might not want him to be there. He shook his head and exhaled, then he went inside. Good thing he knows her passcode. When she gave him that, he was over the moon. He knows it's such a small thing but it made him so happy. It made him so happy because that means she trusts him and it was enough to make all of his hesitations disappeared.

My love is pure

He took off his shoes and went straight to the couch. Strangely, he suddenly felt exhausted. But before he lies down, her book shelf caught his eyes. He went near it and there he saw her pictures. She has kept her favorite photos from her different photoshoots. He smiled when he saw the different sides of her. He saw her versatility in acting, but he was amazed that she can do the same in her photoshoots. She's truly an icon, he thought. One photo caught his attention. He didn't recognize her because she's wearing sunglasses and has really long hair. But he recognized the place. It was that place.

I saw an angel

It was August 2013 when he went to Segovia, Spain. He wanted to see the world, to wander, to explore. He wanted to experience different cultures. Besides, he's been working for his two upcoming movies that year. So he took a break for a month to travel. He was enjoying the view and taking pictures when he heard something familiar, "Okay, that's a good pose. Keep it up." It was spoken in Hangul. He looked around to find the voice. There he saw a photographer, taking pictures of a beautiful woman. He was stunned.

Of that I'm sure

She has long hair, a body to die for, long legs and everything that made Ji Hoon swallowed. The way she poses makes him hold his breath. He's been modelling for a long time but he's never seen a model as beautiful as her. He couldn't help but to steal a picture of her using his camera. He went near the site, enough to see her face but also enough to hide if ever he gets caught. When the photographer shouts, "Cut! Let's have a break." Ji Hoon got the chance to see her face when she took off her sunglasses. His heart skipped a beat when their eyes met.

She smiled at me on the subway

The woman smiled at Ji Hoon and his world stopped. He smiled back at her, shyly and awkwardly as he turns his back to leave. That day and that trip became memorable to him. And when he came back to Seoul, he gets to know who the woman was when the news article came out. It was the actress Kim Hye Soo. She was on a photoshoot that day in Spain for Cosmopolitan. Knowing this, he bought the magazine and watched her drama Queen of the Office. This was when he started admiring her because he noticed how good she is as an actress. He watched every movie and drama she's in and he became her fanboy.

She was with another man

Ji Hoon worked hard on his career. He wanted to start again after being in a controversy. But more than this, at the back of his head, he wanted to be that good of an actor so when he'll be given the opportunity to act with Kim Hyesoo, he'd never fail. And he never did. He was always jealous of the actors that gets to act with her. He'd always wish that one project with her would land onto his hands and he'll never waste that chance. That's why when he got Hyena; he didn't decline, even when he also had events for Kingdom 2, even when he didn't get any rest. It's because he didn't want to miss this chance. With her.

But I won't lose no sleep on that

Whenever Hyesoo compliments him for his acting, it feels like an achievement. It's not the awards and nominations that made him feel successful, it was her. He feels like his years of acting finally pays off just because he was finally recognized by his idol. He was inspired by her, in every set, in every scene, he gave his all. And now he's finally here, this close to her. Who would've thought that he'll ever get this lucky? He yawned then smiled. He'll finally get some sleep that night.

'Cause I've got a plan

Ji Hoon is having a bad dream. He's dreaming of Hyesoo pushing him away, cutting him off from her life. When he wakes up, he found her beside him looking for something under the couch. His heart was relieved when he saw her. "What are you doing?" He asks her. She looks at him while showing him what she's holding, "Oh, I dropped my airpods." Ji Hoon stares at her and thinks; I'd like to wake up to this face for the rest of my life. He'd notice her feeling conscious because of his stare. He'd smile. "Why are you staring?" She'd ask him. He'll smile at her with his dreamy eyes. I don't mind staring at you all my life, a voice in his mind speaks but he utters, "Nothing."

You're beautiful, you're beautiful

They say, the right one will not make you nervous or shake you on your knees. When you found the right one, you'll feel calm and comfortable. That's what Ji Hoon feels as they eat breakfast together. He's calm and comfortable. Yes, he can feel his heart pounding because of happiness; because he's with her. But he's never felt this calm before, as if he has everything he needs; as if everything in his life was already fulfilled. And in that moment he knew, the feeling of being home; of being with the love of his life. I hope this lasts, his heart whispers.

You're beautiful, it's true

Ji Hoon knows how much Hyesoo loves taking pictures. It's one of the things he learned about her. He saw her gigantic lenses in her house. And because he also loves being in front of cameras, he'd always pose for her. Or perhaps, he just loves catching her attention. "Let me see." He says to her after she took a photo of him. "Here." She shows him a picture she already edited with her mischievous smile. He'd frown then pout, "I wanna see my face." Then they'll run and play around the set like two little kids teasing each other. Ji Hoon has never been so happy.

I saw your face in a crowded place and I don't know what to do

Days passed and Ji Hoon slowly notices her cold feet. She won't let him drive her home anymore. He noticed how she makes up excuses so he won't be able to drive her home. Whenever he texts her to bring her food, she'll always say she's not in her house or that she already ate and stops him from coming. He'd let her, thinking he should give her time. But he's starting to be afraid. Did I make a mistake? Did I make her feel uncomfortable? Am I annoying her too much?, all of these thoughts are keeping him awake in that 2 days of not being with Hyesoo. But this question almost broke his heart; What if she doesn't feel the same way?

'Cause I'll never be with you

After that 2 days, another day came and they finished filming early. Ji Hoon sensed that Hyesoo's going home already so he went to her. Please, let me drive you home today, please let me be with you today, his heart has been wishing that all throughout their filming. He's crossing his fingers behind his back as he asks her to let him drive her home. When he knew he's about to get rejected again, he cuts her off, "Please, pleaase? I won't talk, I promise. Just let me be with you today. Please." He's that desperate, thinking that she probably don't want a talkative person. Maybe she's fed up with me, he thought. That thought hurts, but when he heard Hyesoo says, "Okay, just for today." his heart jumped and he couldn't hide his smile.

Yes, she caught my eye, as we walked on by

Ji Hoon would steal glances over Hyesoo all throughout the drive. He's not talking, just like he promised. He'd sigh, he didn't know he'd miss her in those 2 days. When they arrived at her house, he wanted to ask her if he can stay, but he stopped himself. Instead he just smiled at her and said, "Nothing, go inside. It's cold." He doesn't know if his desperation to be with her shows but that's what he feels. Hell, he's willing to risk everything. Just to be with you, his heart speaks. He watched her go inside her house as he feels his heart breaks little by little.

She could see from my face that I was flying high

Ji Hoon leans on his car and crosses his arms to keep his hands warm. He just stood there outside her house. He's thinking of how to tell her how he feels. He plans to tell her after Hyena ends. He knows if he tells her now, it could affect their work. He smiles at his thoughts. He recalled his first confession, he was in middle school. He was so nervous but his friends were supportive and they helped him. Too bad he got rejected. After that, he focused in his studies then his modelling career. And when he started acting, that's when he became famous among women. He didn't have problems confessing then since it’s the other way around.

And I don’t think that I’ll see her again

Ji Hoon never thought he had to confess again after a very long time. He never thought he'd meet someone who'd make him fall head over heels. He smiles at that thought. He once said he's scared of marriage because it never turns out well. So he promised himself, he'll never get married for convenience, unless it's true love. Unless it's true love, he whispers as he looks at Hye Soo's house. He shivers when the wind blows.

But we shared a moment that will last ‘til the end

He knew he found the one. He knows his heart so well; he's never felt this way. His train of thoughts stopped when he couldn't take the cold any longer. So he opens his car's compartment for some hot packs. He gets three packs, but he thought he'll stay there for a while so he gets it all. He inserted it in his coat, and he closes the buttons so it won't fall out. Then he puts his hands in his pockets. He leans on his car again to stare at Hye Soo's house. Just for today, he thought and smiled.

You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful

Ji Hoon never thought he’d get this close to Hye Soo. He never thought he’d see her as a woman; more than just his sunbae or co-worker. Everyday he’s with her, every moment they shared, even the littlest moment, he will never forget. It’s like his life has been dull and bland, until he met Hye Soo, then he began seeing things differently. He’s known for being quirky and goofy in his interviews and filming set, but it’s all because he wanted to diminish the awkwardness between him and his co-workers. But with Hye Soo, he’s quirky and goofy, but mature and serious at the same time. He wanted her to feel comfortable around him, but more than that, he wanted to make her happy.

You’re beautiful, it’s true

He doesn’t plan on leaving anytime soon. He plans to stay, to be with her for a very long time. He plans to choose her over everything else; even his career. He lets out a deep breath as he shivers. He gets cold easily, it’s his weakness. But for some reason today, he feels stronger. He has never stood outside in the cold before. But standing there, in front of Hye Soo’s house, made him feel like he can stand there forever.

Yeah, I saw your face in a crowded place and I don’t know what to do

He was looking down at his shoes because he feels something tingly somewhere in his ankle. Then he heard Hye Soo’s gate opens. He lifts his head and there she is, in front of him. “Hey! What are you doing out here?” He’s startled a little, but he smiled sweetly at her. “Nothing, I just wanted to be here.” He answers her but his heart speaks otherwise, I just wanted to be with you. She asks him how long he has been there; he opens his coat to show her the hot patches. Suddenly, he felt the cold all over his body. “I never left since I drove you home.” He smiled faintly.

‘Cause I’ll never be with you

Worry is written all over Hye Soo’s face and Ji Hoon can see it. He knew he’s crazy when that made him a bit happy. She’s worried about me, he smiled at that thought. And when she pulls him inside, he feels like he could die of happiness any moment. Before, he’ll feel guilty for worrying his mom whenever he gets sick because of the cold. But now, it’s different, of course he still feels guilty for worrying Hye Soo and bothering her. But thinking that she’ll take care of him and he’ll get to be with her, makes him like the cold a little more than before.

You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful

When they’re finally inside her house, his guilt started eating him up. He looks at Hye Soo and he realized she’s going somewhere because of her outfit. I’m such a bother to her, he thought. So he draws back and pulls his hand from her, “I’m sorry, I’m such a bother. I’m okay now, I’ll go home.” He said to her while smiling. He tried to hide his faintness from her; he doesn’t want to think that he’s forcing her to take care of him. So he’ll just leave. I’m okay, now that I saw you, he thought.

You’re beautiful, it’s true

Hye Soo blinks when he pulls back his hand, but she grabs it again. “Stay. I’ll make some soup.” She said to him while pulling him. She made him sit on the couch and he lets out a deep sigh. Hye soo went to her kitchen. Ji Hoon lies down; he never thought he could miss a couch like this. This is crazy. Crazy but comfy, he chuckles at that thought. He stares at the ceiling then he crosses his hands on his chest. He’s still freezing.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face

He feels dizzy so he closed his eyes. His mind and his heart are all over the place. He can’t help but to be happy at the moment. He’s cold but he feels warm. If it takes him to stand in the cold that long just to be with Hye Soo, he’ll gladly do so. If it takes him to give up his career and live his life with Hye Soo, he’ll drop everything for her. Even if he’s so afraid of commitment, responsibility and marriage life, he’s more than willing to face his fears head on. Hell, he will gladly risk everything just to be with Hye Soo; even if it’s his health or his career. A lifetime with her doesn’t compare to everything he has now.

When she thought up that I should be with you

He’ll plan his confession after the filming ends. He knows they can’t have a normal date outside so he’ll just show up in her house and just like the usual; they’ll eat together and drink their coffee. They’ll watch her favourite indie movies and listen to David Bowie’s songs. Imagining these things feels therapeutic for him. He smiles at his thoughts. He’s excited to tell her how he feels; to tell her how much he loves her.

But it’s time to face the truth

Of course, Ji Hoon would naturally feel afraid of the consequences. He’ll think how hurt he’ll be when Hye Soo doesn’t feel the same way as him. He has to be ready in case Hye Soo rejects him. It’ll be hell for him, but he won’t force her into something she doesn’t really want. If ever Hye Soo rejects him, he’s willing to let her go. He’ll still love her though, in a distance. He probably won’t be able to get over her forever. Ji Hoon will always be her fanboy. And he’ll remember every memory he had with her. He’s about to tear up when he heard Hye Soo’s steps coming over. He kept his eyes closed.

I will never be with you

“Ji Hoon-ssi, here’s—“ he heard her say. Ji Hoon doesn’t know why he kept his eyes closed when his mind is wide awake. He felt her presence, beside him. Ji Hoon’s heart is pounding hard, as if he’s having palpitations. But he’s not; it’s because of his excitement and anticipation. What is she doing? he asks in his mind. She puts a blanket on him and he felt her hand gently massaging and running her fingers through his head. It’s relaxing so Ji Hoon felt his heart calm a bit, but the next thing he knew, his world stops because he’d hear Hye Soo whispers, “I love you.”

~

[queen-rogah]

Take it easy (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Summary: You have been having a huge crush on your friend Roger back when you’re still in college. Now he’s a rising rockstar and selling out universities in UK. You’re still finding the time to tell your feelings to him because that silence inside your heart kills you slowly. But he suddenly put up an argument with you that pretty sure broke the friendship a little bit. How will you both recover from that?…

Warnings: so so much angst agaaaain and fluffy goodies, also adding a lil bit of steamy scene and sexual tension whoops

Word Count: 6.6k+ words

Note: I’ll just drop this little idea I have in mind after finishing the Trapped in Montreux fic aaaaand I really want you guys to imagine that “Andante, Andante” by Abba was released in the 70s in this fic (since it’s originally in the 80s) but yeah, I’ll be using the song here :) enjoy reading!

MASTERLIST

AUGUST 1971

The university was jam packed tonight. Seeing and feeling the vibe of the people grooving along and banging their heads to with the catchy beat. People and students are also trying to catch up with the lyrics, even though they don’t know it, and every stomp that the lead singer makes literally made the whole room shook. Their eyes are all around them, watching the frontman gracefully strut onstage, watching the guitarist and the bassist strum their instruments with their skillful fingers and the drummer–oh the drummer–was the ladies’ center of attraction–I mean attention–because of those luscious waves of blond hair, the doe eyes that are blue in color and the way he dress and always looks good in every clothing he has. He’s wearing that leather vest without any shirt underneath that’s why you can see his naked chest as he bang on those drums. Almost every night, every uni and every pub, you always hear some random ladies saying, “I want to show myself to the drummer.” “The drummer is mine, I hope he gets me tonight.” “Ladies, I may be a goddamn virgin but I’m pretty sure I’ll be grateful if he will pop my cherry.” Those comments could literally put bile resting on your tongue. Now you’re hearing new ones saying those words again as they prey on the members.

And you want to scream that you’re uncomfortable hearing those since you’re the drummer’s friend since college. You’re Roger Taylor’s friend, the eye candy of the band.

But you’re not the friend who is standing in front while dancing and enjoying the music they’ve made and also the girl you will shout in excitement the most. Instead, you’re the friend who is just standing by the corner or at the back, watching them with awe or with a smile on your face. Seeing what they would soon achieve with a very appealing aura and popular songs. They would soon break the charts, go straight to number one and beat all of the artists that are in line with them. You’re wishing they would go further.

“For the last time, good evening beautiful people! Thank you for coming along! This is now our final song!…” Freddie said through his microphone, with that half-stand thing. His signature microphone, how powerful he is.

That is your cue to leave the place as you finish the beer you’ve been holding through the whole set. You have made your way back in the parking lot, where the band’s van is. You lean back on it, pulling out a cigarette as you light it, to fight the cold breeze of the evening. You’re pleased that you’re going along the whole tour in every uni and pubs in the city, through Roger’s invite. The boys have known you since he introduced you from their previous gigs, that’s why you’re already close to them. You witnessed every venue be sold out and also helping them out in making posters for their gigs.

“Hey, is this the band’s van?.”

You turn your head towards your right to see a girl, maybe a college student since she looked younger than you. You cocked your head slightly to one side, looking from her head to toe.

“Yeah. What brings you here?.” You asked, keeping your chin up, feeling dominant to her.

“Roger said to me that I’ll wait for him here, turns out he already have someone waiting on him…” Her voice cracked a bit when she said and you widened your eyes, chin lowering down.

“Oh no no, I’m not…I’m not waiting on him. I’m actually his friend…” You reassured her as you shake your head to what she’s been thinking of you.

“Oh damn I’m sorry,” She chuckles, brushing the stray hair from her face. “I didn’t mean to–”

“No, it’s fine. This happens to me everytime. I’m just the band’s friend slash assistant in organizing their gig schedules.” You shrug, finishing off your cigarette, letting it fall on the ground from your fingers as you step on it with your boots.

Then the girl stays with you here, also leaning back on the vehicle. “I’m jealous of you, always being with the band. Being with Roger…” The way she said your friend’s name is kind of different, like the lovey dovey type of thing.

Well I’m jealous of you that Roger called you up, since he found you attractive. While I’m just here, just his friend. You rolled your eyes in the sudden thought and keeps on listening to her blabbers about Roger and the rest of the band.

You sighed in belief to hear the boy’s voices coming towards the van. They are now in their comfortable clothes, seeing them happy about the successful gig.

“Katie, looks like you’ve finally met Y/N here.” Roger said as he wrap his arms around her frame. Your eyes never looking away at the two, never realizing you’ve been shooting daggers on them already.

“Oh right, bloody hell I didn’t told my name, so you heard Roger, I’m Katie.” She smiles at you, reaching out for a handshake.

You put the fakest smile you’ve got and shake her hands, “Y/N, nice to finally know your name.” You said and quickly pull back your hand, putting it inside the pockets of your jacket. The coldness of the weather tonight is actually getting worse.

“It’s getting cold right now, we must go.” Brian says while rubbing his hands to create heat in that friction.

“I saw a pub down the street, maybe we should go check it out.” Freddie replied. All of you agreed, but Katie felt out of place, making you smirk a little bit on her facial expression. Roger, of course, is the one who will drive the van, and you took your place just on the passenger seat beside him.

But, “Uh, I think I should sit there to be closer to Rog.” Katie interjects and you furrow your brows at her.

“Uh–Rog?.” You turn back to the drummer who’s biting down his lip, probably thinking.

“Just this time Y/N..” Roger replied and you knew he won’t let you sit beside him. So you let out a quiet huff, stepping out of the passenger seat to let her sit there and would watch them flirt while you’re sitting at the backseat with the others.

The van started to move and the conversations starts. Freddie was having a deep conversation with Brian and Deaky, talking about how he beat them two in scrabble yesterday and would certainly beat them again. You just sat there looking through the window and enjoying the view of the city while the van is moving.

The van stopped in front of the pub that Freddie was talking about and parked the vehicle. You all hopped out and quickly got inside, escaping the cold. When you got inside, you’re thankful that this pub has a warm ambiance and welcoming faces of the people inside. Freddie found a booth but it’s too small to fit all the six people of your group.

But Roger had a great idea and that is to let Katie sit on his lap. That idea of his did made you roll your eyes, him and the others never catching you did it. You sat between Brian and Deaky as you ordered your drinks. You can’t tear your eyes away everytime Katie would giggle on something Roger would say in her ear and how he shifts his hips while she’s on his fucking lap. Your look was so bitter that it would apparently poison them to death.

But of course you’re still hiding the fact that you’re deeply attracted to the man who’s been your friend for years and just watching him be with other women. You won’t do anything because you’re not his goddamn type. Katie is the perfect definition of Roger Taylor’s type. A fit girl, blonde just like him and has the beautiful face ever.

So you won’t literally do anything because you’re not her.

“Y/N? Hey Y/N…”

Freddie’s finger snaps brought you back to earth as you finished zoning out and overthinking anything else. You didn’t realized you’re still holding on their menu as they wait for you to reply but you’re out of your mind.

“Earth to Y/N!?.” Freddie raises his voice that made you startle. You let out an awkward chuckle as you told him you’re getting just a regular whisky in a bottle. “What in the bloody hell you’ve been thinking? Did you just zoned out darling? I’m worried about you…”

“Uh, y-yeah I did zoned out and out of my mind a bit but it’s no biggie. Don’t think about me.” You shrug it off, waving your hands off.

“You don’t look fine to me Y/N.” Deaky added as you sighed.

Then Roger came in the scene after he’s just being so close–or too close–to the girl he just called up after a single gig. You know Roger doesn’t like the type of going-steady for a girl or settling down with the person he loves. He even says to you that he doesn’t believe in marriage and that marriage will always bring the two people together even though they fight. All of those to Roger are just pure utter bullshit. So you tried to fall out of love to him, but damn it won’t work because every year and every thing he does will always be interesting and attractive to you. He’s irresistible.

“Are you okay Y/N? Did you eat your lunch earlier?.” Brian asked before Roger would say anything, completely beating him to it.

“Y/N, I know we’re all tired and–” Roger started but you shrugged him off.

“Seriously guys, I’m okay. I just thought of something.” You smiled at him then your eyes dropped on Katie, who have an astonished look at you, feeling that jealous look again since all of the boys are actually worried of you.

“Okay, Y/N fine, everything’s fine. Shall we order the drinks already?.” Brian announces. All of your heads nods to his words, calling up the waitress as you all told your drinks for tonight. You felt Brian’s arm rested on the booth behind you, feeling the warmth of his arms, surprisingly comfortable.

You knew Brian had a crush on you ever since Roger introduced you to them, but this guitarist is still denying those feelings to you, even though his greatest friend Roger finally leaked to you how he adores you and how he is completely attracted to you. You are flattered, very flattered, because Brian is cute himself too but you just think he’s not the right one for you. He deserve someone out there who will accept him and love him dearly.

And you’re still hopelessly in love with your best friend.

“So Bri,” Roger interrupts him, causing him to remove his arms from behind you. The warmth from him faded. “How’s your thesis going?.”

Brian chuckles and plays on his fingers, “Still working on it, having pressures in between performances though. It’s very tough…”

“Well, you’re studying PhD today and working on your own thesis makes you the smartest being in UK.” You joined and Brian laughs, returning his hand behind you again.

“God you make me blush Y/N, I’m literally not the smartest being in UK but I take that compliment thank you.” Brian smirks at you, bumping fists with him. Your eyes trained over to Roger who’s eyeing you two, but when he notice you looking, he turn his head to Katie as they continue on what they are talking about.

You’re still taking this easy, just nice and slow. And the path to your ultimate goal is definitely happening right now.

…

Freddie took a lot of rounds in the pub, Brian did too as he is now drunkenly talking about space dust in his thesis and the time travel thingy, butterfly-effect thingy and all that shit. Wasted Freddie was so interested in listening to him, while having Deaky resting in his arms. Roger and Katie was playing the pinball by the corner, just beside the jukebox while Love Me or Let Me Be Lonely by The Friends of Distinction. The groovy tune of the song made you thump your feet on the ground and lipsync the lyrics. Roger hated the type of dance music and he’s the complete opposite to you. So, everytime you’re with him, you’re always will going to blast some songs that weren’t his type, soon seeing him so pissed off on you. And would actually change the radio to find some Hendrix.

You didn’t drink that much, even to Roger since he’s driving, but Katie was wasted as well. Her toned legs are slightly looking wobbly as Roger supports her, holding her body as they play the pinball, probably winning. You stole Freddie’s box of cigarette on the table as you left the pub, putting on your thick fur coat that Roger wanted to stole from you before. You light up your cigarette, taking a huge drag while looking at the empty streets in this late hour.

“When will I ever say my feelings to him? If I would say it, would he happily accept it? Would he like me back? Would he stop finding different women and just only look for me after each shows? Would he change himself for me?…” You said to yourself. Chest tightening for a second and then felt that pang inside, knowing that none of those would ever happen because you know it. You definitely know it.

“Who’s he?.”

You jumped in shock when you suddenly see Brian making his way to you, hands inside his jacket too. His curly hair we’re all over his face as you laugh at his drunk appearance. You stood on your tiptoes, brushing away the hair covering his face as you’re now looking at his hazel colored eyes that are tired. You didn’t realize you’ve been standing so dangerously close to him as you create the space between you and him again.

“I–uh, how are you now? Are you feeling fine?.” You awkwardly asked, scratching at the back of your neck. Boots clicking as you’re tapping your feet on the ground, showing that you’re nervous.

“Best drink, grateful to be drunk in those magnificent drinks. Hope this hungover won’t be a dickhead in the morning.” Brian says while massaging his temples, “And actually, who’s the guy you’ve been talking about earlier while you’re alone here? I swear I hear you saying, Would he…would he…in a couple times that I can’t count.”

You gulped, “No that’s nothing. It’s just a past of mine, a jerkass boy I liked before.” You lied.

You hated lying.

“Oh,” Brian’s expression changes. “So where’s that guy right now?.” He asks again.

He’s inside the pub, in the arms of somebody else’s. He’s actually your friend ever since in college too.

“Gone. Way gone.” You replied, still going on in lying. You totally forgot about your cigarette between your fingers as you throw the half cigarette on the ground, stepping on it with force.

“Lucky bloke, why did he leave if he’s having the most beautiful girl liking on him?.” Brian responses and that made you stop in your tracks, looking up at him. Your heart’s been racing again.

“God, stop Bri…” You chuckle as you start blushing and he lets out a sigh, lips agape as he tried to find the words inside his head. Like he have prepared a speech inside his mind.

“I’m such a weakling in hiding my feelings to you Y/N and I really wanted this to be out of in denial already and–”

“Bri, you’ve been so good to me but–”

And there Brian’s face fell, also feeling his heart sinking. “But, that’s the word that I’m afraid to hear from you. And now I’m hearing it from you, right here right now, I guess I’m rejected.” His voice cracks.

Oh no, no…

“No, Brian no it’s not like that but, I like you. I like you and I love you as my friend. The person who’s been there for me when I need some help. You really would find a way to keep my happiness be stored in me and I thank you for that and I–”

“But you’re the one that I want Y/N. You’re still the one that I want.” He steps closer, his lanky arms holding both your arms. Now this is making your heart break in pieces.

“Brian, I can’t…I really can’t. I’m so sorry. You will soon find that someone who will love you the way your parents did to you. The love that is unconditional and eternal. I’m not deserving for your love because I’m in love with someone else.”

And there you said it.

“In love…with someone else? Who?.” Brian backs away from you. Your mouth opens but no words came out, like you’re mute for a second and your brain soon clicks.

“With guy I’ve been talking about earlier. But I really want to let it stay anonymous but yes, I am really in love with someone…” You bite down your lip. And then you’ve felt Brian’s distance to you as you sighed in belief.

“For how long?.”

“Gosh, I can’t remember how long it is. I’m clueless.” You slightly chuckled. Lying because you probably knew that on September 1968. Both of you we’re 19 year olds and halfway finishing college. Probably the memorable date of your life.

“Why would you have to keep him anonymous?.” Brian asks and you smiled.

“You’ll know if you’re ready.” You pat his chest as you turn around, hearing the door from the pub opened to see Roger with Katie clinging around his body while Freddie and Deaky are now walking a bit straight, but still losing their balance.

“The pub’s already closing so we have to leave now. Come on, get in the van.” Roger said as you and Brian obliged. Sitting in the backseat together, while Freddie tripped his way inside the van. Deaky just gracefully hop inside and closed it.

Roger guided Katie on the passenger seat as she is now passed out. He drive away from the place and now he’s on your way to Freddie’s place. The drive towards there was silent, almost everyone of you didn’t said a single word. Only to hear the faint sound of music coming from the radio. Roger dropped Freddie off as he said his goodbyes to you, then Deaky went next until you, Brian, Katie and Roger are alone together. Roger was looking through the rear view mirror if something is happening between you and Brian as he feels suspicious. When the van dropped by Brian’s place, he turn to you as he gave you that surprise kiss on your cheek–maybe you’ve felt it too on the side of your lips, which made you froze in your spot. You watch Brian left the van and bid his goodbyes.

While Roger was now driving to your place, then he changed the radio station to hear the intro of Andante, Andante playing. One of the songs you adored but Roger again loathes. When he tried to change the station again, you tried stopped him.

“Hey, that’s my song. Stay in that station.” You said but he ignores you, flipping off to another station again. “Roger…”

“It’s my van and I control the radio.” He stated. You’re shocked on his grumpy remark that made you cross your arms together.

“Killjoy.” You muttered and rolled your eyes. He’s been cold towards you tonight, but you can play this game too as you sent him an icy glare by the time his ocean eyes look over to the rear view mirror.

His van came to a halt to see he’s now in front of your apartment as you hopped out the van, “Hey.” He calls.

You turn back to him again, “What?.” You coldly replied.

“Can I ask you something?.”

Your raise your right brow, “What’s that?.”

He bites down his lip, “Is there something you’re not telling me about your relationship to Brian?.”

Then your brows furrowed, “What? No, I’m not–”

“Don’t lie to me Y/N. I saw what I saw. Him being so flirty with you in the pub, your small talk with him outside and…and the kiss earlier–”

“Roger Meddows Taylor,” You slightly smirk, “Are you jealous?.”

He lets out a mocking laugh and that made you regret on what you’ve said, wanting to take it back, “Me? Jealous of you? Look, I’m just your friend ever since college but I’m not romantically inclined to you. Not ever.”

Your heart sank, “Well then why the fuck are you asking me about Brian? It’s none of your business anyway!.” You argued.

This is getting messy now.

“I’m just asking! And why are you raising your voice at me now?!.” He asks, also raising his voice. Not caring that your next door neighbors are actually sleeping right now. And Katie is still passed out. Thank God.

“And why are you doing the same too?!.” You shouted and he shrugs. Completely giving up on this rubbish fight.

“Oh fuck off now Y/N!, you’re acting like a child and I can’t believe Brian have an interest with a bloody child!.” He backfires and that made your mouth hang open.

You’re hurt, you’re in pain. You hated that phrase, you hated it. “Well then, I guess I’m gonna take my childish ass away from you. Probably won’t see you again, never helping you and the boys. Tell them I fucking quit, maybe you don’t want a child in the group anymore.” You stated. Those words absolutely shooting daggers to Roger.

He knows he crossed the line and now, he made a huge mistake.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I didn’t…fuck–” Roger trailed off as he watch you turn your back to him, ignoring his apology. You stepped inside your apartment, slamming the door close behind you.

You broke down in tears, leaning back on the door as you covered your face. Feeling the rage mixed with shame in your head. Maybe he’s right, you’re just nothing but acting like a goddamn child as you work with them. They’re better off without you and you know your feelings to Roger will be buried deep again, always kept unsaid since nothing in your life is the right time to say it.

…

TWO WEEKS AFTER

Roger was struggling a bit in making the flyers since it’s still being handwritten. Freddie is now helping him while Brian and Deaky are having a jamming session by the corner of the room. Two people won’t do much work, since they lost you in the group. Everything isn’t going normal right now.

“This what happens when Y/N is not around. Our gigs schedule are all over the bloody place! And Y/N is out there holding the planner with all the gigs we have.” Brian complains while tuning his usual red handmade guitar, been calling it the red special now.

Roger kept quiet as he writes on the paper for the flyers again, until Brian cleared his throat. The blond drummer turn his look at the guitarist as they exchange looks at each other. Freddie feels something is uptight and the fact that Roger still didn’t said anything about the fight that why aren’t you showing up with the band discussions.

“What actually happened with Y/N Rog? Huh? Because I don’t believe in you saying that she’s out of town because I just saw her yesterday in Kensington Market as she tries to avoid me.” Brian said and that made Roger sigh deeply.

But he kept his mouth shut again. Feeling the urge to say what he said to you that night, but shame is stopping him.

“Answer my bloody question Roger–”

“She quit! She quit because of me.” Roger raised his voice. Deaky stopped playing his bass and Freddie was shocked on Roger’s remark.

“Because of you? Why?.” Freddie asks.

“I said to her that she’s being childish herself and she’s better off without us, but…I take that back. I crossed her line, I know I hurt her, I made her feel the pain and I know…she’s deeply brokenhearted and I don’t know how to fix this. I did the shameful thing that a fucking friend has ever did.” Roger said. Brian was only staring at him as he listens to his explanation.

“God Roger what did you do.” Freddie gasps, his hands clutching over his chest.

“I immediately regret what I said before but it’s just too late. I broke her…so much.” Roger sadly said, his eyes glued down on the ground.

“You must talk to her again.” Deaky comments but Roger shakes his head.

“She won’t talk to me. Like ever.” Roger deadpans, crossing his arms together.

“Then think of an activity where you can have the way to talk to her.” Deaky again suggested, but Roger is still hopeless to you.

“That’s impossible.” Roger sarcastically chuckles and felt the weight in his chest again.

Freddie was looking at Brian as they discuss about something then Roger saw Brian nod his heads and then faced the blond drummer again. “Fred thought of something and I hope it will be possible to get Y/N back.”

“I’m in with Fred’s idea!.” Deaky exclaims and took steps closer with the others. Freddie planned everything out that made Roger stopped overthinking that much and feels like that would be successful.

“We’re getting our Y/N back darlings, we will never gonna lose her again.” Freddie said and put on a reassuring smile that would try to lift up Roger’s mood.

…

The phone started ringing from inside your living room. You lazily stood up from the couch as you answered the call, only to hear Brian’s voice in the other line.

“Hey, Y/N.” He greets and your heart raced. You feel bad in avoiding him when you’ll see him everywhere. It’s been two weeks since you said a word to the boys.

“Brian, why did you call?.” You replied and you hear him sigh in belief, feeling glad that you’re now speaking to him.

“Can we meet right now?.” He suddenly asks you and that made you wonder what would he do if you and him will meet. In the back of your head, you thought that he’s just going to ask you in joining with them again, probably will ask you a thousand times until you’ll say yes. Or, he will set you up in meeting the other boys to talk to you, including Roger that would add an apology to you.

But those are just options. Maybe he’s up to something more important.

“Right now?.” You made sure.

“Yeah, right now. I’ll meet you at Hyde Park, we’re having a picnic.” He excitedly said. You’re surprised that this is the first time that you’ll go on a picnic and it’s weird since the sun is already setting.

“A picnic? The sun is setting Bri I–”

The line went dead, saying that he just hang up on you, that’s why you’re just standing there in surprise, staring blankly at the phone. You are going on a picnic with Brian right now, like some couples do around this town and you thought about Roger again to what he will think of you and Brian.

You didn’t waste your time to change your clothes and left the apartment. You walked to Hyde Park since its just minutes away from your place, so when you finally saw children, families and couples spending their times here looking so happy and bright, you have arrived.

You’re finding those curls looking like a poodle around the park and eventually saw him by the distance, sitting alone in that mat with a picnic basket. He’s playing his guitar, waiting on you.

“Hey space boy.” You called him as you see his head turn to you, showing you a toothy grin. He stood up on his feet, motioning you to come close as you did, only to feel his warm embrace again.

“I’m glad you’re here. I have missed you…” He says, his arms still around you. His hands are now holding the back of your head, softly caressing your hair with his fingers.

“It was only for two weeks–”

“–why did you do that? Why did you quit?.” He asks. A sigh escaped from your lips, remembering Roger’s words from that particular night again.

You didn’t know Brian already why you had quit your job to them.

“I guess I wasn’t good enough, someone told me that.” You replied to him, that familiar break in your heart is there again.

“You’re always good enough Y/N, what an asshole to say you’re not.” He said and that made you chuckle a bit.

“Thank you Bri, for still being an awesome friend. And thank you for this picnic though, even it’s already sunset.” You slightly laugh as you both sat down on the mat he prepared. “Why couldn’t Roger be like you? He’s always acting cold to me whenever I’m with you and the others…”

Brian gulps when you brought Roger up, “There’s room for improvement yeah? Maybe…Roger is jealous that you’re close to us–”

“Bullshit. Roger never get jealous. He’s a damn cold-hearted person I’ve ever met.” You sarcastically snicker.

Brian fell into silence as he looks away from you, his eyes looking at the children buying ice cream nearby. So he stood up again, your eyes following his movements.

“Where are you going?.” You asked. “Is it what I said about Roger? Did I hurt your feelings because he’s your friend too?.”

“No, I have nothing against what you’ve said about him,” He replies, looking back to you. “Do you like some ice cream?.”

A small smile came onto your lips as you nod your head, saying yes to his treat. He returned that smile too as he walks away, going towards the ice cream truck. You turn back in watching the children flying their kites and couples lip locking while laying on the thin grass of the park. The sun sets, the orange color appeared beautifully on the sky, blending in the blue color.

You heard Brian’s steps getting back again, “Hey Brian, can you tell me about–”

You stopped in your tracks to suddenly see the blond drummer now standing before you. Hands in his pockets as he gives you a smile. You look around for Brian but he’s nowhere to be seen, it’s only you and him staring at each other now.

“Where’s Brian? Did you let him leave?.” You coldly asked him, brows creased together. Arms crossed in front of your chest.

“He showed himself out,” Roger says, taking Brian’s place beside you in this mat. You can’t believe you’re now speaking to the person you despise two weeks earlier because of those forbidden words come out of his mouth.

“What do you mean showed himself out? He just left? He left me here?–”

“It’s not his idea in leaving you here. We…actually set you up for you to talk to us.” He said and you blink your eyes, looking at him if he’s saying the truth.

“What? Set me up? This…this is bullshit Roger! I meant what I said before that I don’t want to see you again! And you set me up?!–”

“–it’s actually Freddie who thought of this plan. It’s not on me.” Roger stated, making you shut your mouth.

“But still I meant it. I quit, I’m never going back again.” You said, not looking at him.

“Y/N please, the band needs you so much. You’re like the most needed person to all of us.” Roger pleads. Body scooting close to you and felt his hand slipped into yours that is laying down on this mat. You pulled your hand away from his touch as your breath hitches. You still remember that you have feelings for him and now he’s sitting here beside you, hands wanting to interlock with you but you’re denying everything again.

You thought of the other boys and how they needed you too, not just Roger. This drummer is the only grudge to you, but bringing the boys in this mess too is just a cruel move. Your train of thoughts were interrupted to hear a thunder. The orange sky from earlier is now covered with dark clouds, wanting to drop a downpour.

“Fuck, it’s gonna rain.” Roger said and quickly stood up, also helping you up. You folded back the mat as he held the picnic basket too.

“Where are we going now?.” You asked him. Lightnings soon appearing in a far distance.

“Let’s go inside the van.” He says, holding out his hand for you to hold. You hesitate a bit before cursing to yourself, holding his hand again. He led you to where the van is parked and quickly got inside, just in time the rain started to pour.

You lean back on the passenger seat as you look over to Roger who’s still isn’t starting up the van, “What are you doing Rog? Let’s go.” You said.

“The downpour is getting worse. It’s safe for us to stay here until the rain slow down. You know I can’t drive with a bloody foggy road.” He retorted and put the picnic basket in the backseat. You also put the mat there and stayed silent for a second.

“I thought Freddie and the others are here with you.”

“Well, I said to Freddie that it’s my fault that you left the group, that’s why he sent me here in his plan to ask you for an apology. I was being a total wanker to you, a cruel person, a bad friend. So please hear me out, I’ve been wanting to say this to you ever since that fight.” He started and now you’re looking in his eyes.

“Alright, go on.”

“Y/N, I didn’t mean those words…I’m just having a bad day at that time. It’s ironic really, because I already have Katie with me before and just performed in one of the prestigious colleges here. But when, I just saw you being so close to Brian is something to me, it’s–”

He stopped talking when you suddenly lean in, reaching out to switch the radio on. Surprisingly the same song on the same night came on, the soft melody of the music engulfs the small room in this van.

“Take it easy with me, please. Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze…” You sang, tapping your fingers on the damp window that is now filled with raindrops. You want to ignore that you’re here with him right now. Just sing the song he despised and maybe he’ll be back to normal again, because through the words he’s been saying, it feels like he’s not himself.

“Take your time, make it slow. Andante, Andante. Just let the feeling grow…” You continued.

There was a silence between the both of you. Until, “Y/N, look at me.” He rasps.

Your turn your head to him, facing that face that was too beautiful for a man, “Roger, I–”

“I like you Y/N, so much…”

And there it feels like your whole world turned around. It feels like you entered an another reality, where everything is happening backwards. You were the first one that planned out everything in saying your feelings to him, since 1968, but right now, you’re hearing the words you wanted to tell him from his own lips. His words dropped like a bomb, exploding your deepest thoughts of him. You feel like you’ve gone through an amnesia, forgetting almost every scene of your life with him and only remembering this scene, right now.

“I…I like you too Roger, but you shouldn’t have to know it.” Your voice cracked.

“Why is that?.” His hand soon cupped your face. The music still playing in the vehicle, the sound of rain is still loud.

“Maybe soon you’ll broke my heart Roger because I know you. You’re not the guy who likes to settle down with somebody and not the one who falls in love easily.” You said, trying not to broke down in tears.

“Y/N–”

“No, maybe I’ll break my own heart because I always fall in love easily and I don’t take things easy. I’m always the girl who likes to make things perplexed. That’s why I’m here in front of you, already being a fucking coward in hearing your confession. I’m a dumb bitch, I’m–”

“No! Fuck, don’t say that to yourself. You’re not dumb.” Roger cuts in, thumb grazing over the skin of your cheek. “And the way you talked about making things complicated for you, maybe it’s because you wanted to see things happen the way you wanted to but not how fate destines to. But taking a little risk would do no harm. You’re not doing any harm Y/N…”

Those words from this clever blond drummer struck your heart that really made your mood lighten up. He’s right that maybe risks can be good sometimes, but still take it easy. And when you look over to the window, the downpour starts to slow down, then your head turn to look at Roger, but you’re surprised in his sudden move.

He kisses you, softly at first. You were startled in his movements, of how his fingers hooks your chin while kissing your mouth. You soon knotted your fingers in his hair, pulling him close as you gracefully kissed him back. Roger made room is his seat, pulling you in to straddle his lap. You did, legs now on either side of his lap as his hands found the back pockets of your jeans, slipping his hands inside.

Roger groaned softly, under his throat as he pull away. Those swollen lips is the perfect view for you since you made that. His lips curled up in a flirty smirk as he pecks your lips again, making you giggle a bit.

“What? Do you want me to stop Ms. Y/L/N?.” He whispered on your mouth. His warm breath engulfing your lips.

“Never stop Mr. Taylor.”

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x you #roger taylor x reader #queen imagines #queen fic #queenrogah's fic #roger taylor angst

[savedpage15745]

Where: Mary’s flat, Central London When: August 7th, 1993, 10:14 am. With: Andromeda Tonks & Mary Black

It had been thirteen years.

Thirteen years since she’d seen them both. One haunted her like the ghost of her nightmares, and the other a beacon of hope. One jarred her to her core—the other saved her. Those could assume what they wanted about Sirius Black—to Andromeda, his cousin—one who bore the name right up until the day she shed it like a snake would their skin—was just the same. Some people didn’t escape the woes of who they were. They simply got to live under the radar. In thirteen years, Andromeda managed to have a child, a successful marriage. Happiness. Something that had filled her with fear as a child, eluded and out of reach until she ran. Ran from the constraints of a caged life, ran from their bigotry, from the hatred, from his possessive grip around her throat, trying to claim her to be something she was not. Andromeda was brave. Ever since the moment she rang free—she made that clear. She was not to be pushed around, tossed aside. She would stop feeling terrible for keeping a part of herself hidden.

She was Bellatrix Black’s sister. The thought made her grin. Well… Lestrange. That made her snort under her breath. She almost felt bad for her sister, having to marry Rodolphus at the end of it all. But thoughts that lingered in the bad part of her memories were exuded by one shrill shriek—

‘I don’t want to put my hair back! I like pink!’ Andromeda realized where she was—sitting at the kitchen table as her Husband and daughter argued over which colour she would wear that day to visit Ted’s family.  ‘Dromeda—‘ Ted’s voice broke, as she turned, slight grin to her husband. ‘Would you please tell her yellow is better? C’mon… You’re a Hufflepuff, where’s your house pride?’ Andromeda shook her head. “I’d prefer the hair colour Nymphadora was born with…” The same darkened strands as Ted. “Even if it did last about two weeks before it changed.” Her child. The metamorphmagus. Rare as they came, just another indication to how lucky Andromeda was to have her child. Have this life. ‘I don’t like being called Nymphadora.’ But Andromeda could only roll her eyes. Stubbornness was inherited from her mother, clearly. “But that’s your name.” ‘Yes, but I like Dora. Daddy calls me Dora. Aunt Mary calls me Dora. Gran calls me Dora.’ “They’re not your mother.” ‘Yes, well with a name like Andromeda…’

Cheekiness came from her father, even if Ted blamed Andromeda for it. But that wasn’t the point. Today she had a mission, a one-off, and no more excuses kind of settlement. In the time since the war had ended, Andromeda had grown close to Mary Macdonald. Even before, the moments she’d shown up on Sirius’s steps—she’d run away and ran straight to the only other boy who’d made it out alive. Mary was a Healer, just like her, she was the Godmother of her only child. She had been her closest friend—and when the war was done, a crutch. Everyone lost something on October 31st. Mary—more than anyone Andromeda knew. The war had destroyed them all. But what worried her was the current climate. They painted him as a mass murderer when Andromeda venomously stood her ground against it, against everyone who agreed, but Mary had been… quiet. Silent. She hadn’t seen her in nearly two weeks. So now, even when her oldest friend didn’t want it—she would bluntly place herself in the middle. When breakfast was done, she’d waved her wand—the dishes scattering and piled neatly in the sink. She’d been ignoring the prophet—but there it was, clear as day. “Ted…” She murmured. “Put that away.”

His screaming face. Her cousin. She’d sat and stared at the photograph for hours before he’d nearly ripped the papers from her hands. She didn’t believe it. But she certainly didn’t want to see that face again. The paper disappeared from sight, almost like relief fell over her. With a quick kiss atop her daughter’s head, the same more romantic gesture to her husband, Andromeda pulled on her coat, pocketing her wand. The flat was familiar—she’d been there so often, as she disappeared with a pop from her front foyer—and right into Mary’s. But the look of it—her shoulders fell. Bottles lined the floor, mess surrounding the once neat and tidied area. Her lips pursed, as she shrugged off her shoulders. Some childlike wish to say this wasn’t Mary drinking. She’d seen this mess before. This heartache, desperate to fill a void that simply could not. Andromeda couldn’t let Mary live like this. She had been the sole reason her own home didn’t fall into the gutters—Ted was a mess, and Nymphadora was just like her father.

Waving her wand, bottles slowly glided towards the counter. Papers strewn neatly piled one on top of the other, folding as though invisible hands placed them there. And under one—she found the now slumbering brunette. She was used to carrying a torch. Wanted to be a symbol of hope. The girl needed it them. She needed her now. Crouching down near the couch where Mary laid face down, she gently brushed back some of the dark strands, making herself visible. “Hi.” She murmured, before moving to lift the girl from the position she laid in, trying to get her up into a seated position. “C’mon love, work with me,” She didn’t raise her voice when she spoke. She’d always been motherly—only when Mary needed it. Just like back then. Just as she would be now. She pushed the rest of her messy hair back, sitting beside her. “Talk to me.” There wasn’t much to say though, was there? He’d been out for nearly three weeks now. Andromeda should’ve been here sooner. “Why did you start drinking again?” She asked, like she didn’t already know the answer.

@lionessmary​

#( future verse ) #( c: mary macdonald ) #//icb ur letting me do this

[hollowgroverp]

    LACHLAN EMERSON

(age.) one hundred fourteen (species.) vampire (occupation.) editor at blackwell media (residency.) arrived august 2019 (mirror.) michiel huisman

❝  a pavement of the past

Lachlan Emerson was born to a wealthy family with a father he wished he never had.  Sure he was the reason Lachlan had a comfortable upbringing in Boston and why he was gifted with the education he was, but sometimes when his father was so drunk he had to carry him up the stairs he wished he was born into another family.  From the outside the Emerson’s were perfect; a husband, wife and three sons of a prominent standing within the city, after all every man got drunk at a social event. On a day to day basis Mr Emerson maintained a functional level of drunk - if you hadn’t seen him sober then you wouldn’t know he was under the influence.  But Lachlan had seen him sober and that was almost worse than when he wasn’t quite drunk enough and screamed at his wife for hours.  

If Lachlan really thought about it, he probably would have realised his interest in astronomy was an escape from his less than stellar home life.  After all, what could be further away than the stars? Either way, he first got a taste of it at thirteen when a science lesson had him look through a telescope and find the top five constellations.  For his birthday that year his family bought him his very own telescope and he used to stay up half the night gazing through it. His father had told him it was a phase that he would soon grow out of and it would have been a pleasure years later when Lachlan stood holding his degree in astronomy to say to him ‘I told you so’ - if the man wasn’t too busy calling for this third bottle of wine.

By all means his father should have turned him off alcohol, but instead as Lachlan started a career for an astronomy journal he found himself enjoy a whiskey as he peered down the lense of his telescope or jotted down the latest findings.  As the years went by one turned into two or three. By the mid 1930s his brothers had started their own families, leaving him in the estate with his mother and now ailing father. They had started incessantly asking him when he was going to find a wife and settle down but the very thought of it panicked him.  So he decided to escape. He packed his bags and moved to a small town in the north of Maine; he was done with big city life.

Lachlan fell in love with the town, mostly because he had never seen the stars so brightly with his naked eye before and found that the best place to admire them was on the beach.  It was there in his first month that he met Harlow Harding. Lachlan hadn’t been planning more than a simple discussion between two strangers - that was of course until she confessed her love for astronomy.  That was all it took for him to continue conversation and to agree to meet her again the next day. Her conversations about the stars were riveting and Lachlan thoroughly enjoyed them. He also learnt very quickly how naive and sheltered Harlow had been.  In no time at all she was confiding everything about her life in him while he sat back and listened. The more they talked the closer they grew, from friends to lovers. Harlow was pretty and the ideas she had about the galaxy were ahead of their time. He had never meant to lead her on and he liked her a lot, but did he love her?  No.

He had never intended for things to go as far as they did; sure he had told her that they could publish her findings together - both their names on the articles, but then he had received the letter.  Reading that Harlow was with child sent him into a panic, so much so that he had immediately ripped up the paper and thrown it out before polishing off a whole bottle of whiskey. More came, from Harlow’s mother begging him to marry the girl to avoid scandal.  But he wasn’t ready for marriage and certainly not for a helpless being who relied upon his care. He knew deep down that he would only be another copy of his father. He ignored all the letters, surmising that the Harding estate was far enough out of town that he could avoid her.  When the next deadline for the astronomy journal approached he toyed over whether to publish Harlow’s findings under his name. There was a part of him that would always feel guilty for that, but they were too important for the world not to know and no accredited paper would take the work of a woman alone.

Over the next two years life wasn’t entirely smooth.  While he never saw Harlow there had been words spoken about him by her and when confronted he felt the need to defend himself.  He never saw them as direct lies - she had thrown herself at him, perhaps she was a little desperate? A little crazy from all that time spent at the estate alone?  There were the good bits though, at least they were at the time. He hadn’t meant to fall in love with Harlow’s older sister Pearl but it had happened and as he helped her through her grief for her dying husband he decided that it was time he grew up.  When she became a widow he offered her his hand and she accepted. The dinner they hosted to announce the news was the most fearful he had been since he was a small child at the end of one of his father’s verbal outbursts, but it had been two years and Harlow had never seemed that into them anyway.  It was the mother he was more worried about.

It quickly became clear at the dinner though that Harlow was, in fact, not over it.  At least he presumed so from the plate she threw at him. Both he and Pearl tried to reason but it was impossible and Lachlan definitely grew to regret it all.  As the dinner ended and they parted ways though Lachlan thought it would just make the wedding and family life more difficult, he had no idea the lengths that Harlow would go to or how bent on destroying him she was.  When she was stood in front of him in a wedding dress covered in blood only hours later he realised how very wrong he had been about everything. He tried desperately to calm her and find out whose blood it was that coated her, but she merely tossed him about with a strength she shouldn’t have possessed.  Even as she took him to the estate and changed him he didn’t understand what was going on, the only thing he understood that night was the remains of his fiance that had been left in a pile in front of him when he woke. It drove him into a rage and that along with the burning thirst made it too easy to escape his bonds and bounce on the two maids that had been left with him, draining them dry before he even realised what he had done.

Lachlan ran, as far away from Maine as he could get that night and left a trail of blood behind him.  Any being he fell upon he drained, unable to understand or control the sudden lust for blood he had been given.  During the day he slept in an abandoned shack, huddling away from the beams of sunlight that broke through. Becoming a vampire turned Lachlan mad and for a long time he failed to control his blood lust, barely scraping by as a semblance of a human in the darkness of the alleys he haunted.  No one had taught him how to be a vampire and no one had ever explained it either.

It was another twenty-five years before he met another vampire who did more than stop and sneer at him.  It took a while for her to earn Lachlan’s trust but eventually she took him under her wing and taught him how to control himself.  Years later she often described it as walking into a hurricane and throwing down an anchor. Lachlan absolutely believed her words.  Somehow she managed to find what little remnants of a human being still resided within him and brought him back. He remembered what it was like to actually live, to have passions and to have thoughts other than blood and death, even if they were still skewed sometimes.

When World War III broke out Lachlan and his mentor decided to fight, it was another of the many regrets in Lachlan’s life and he wished sometimes he could go back to those days and convince her not to do so.  It was the early hours of the morning in the dead of winter when they were ambushed by a group too large and with so many weapons that even they couldn’t best them. She went down first and the rage that exploded from within Lachlan made the others flee, leaving him cradling her body.  It would have been all too easy for him to sink back down into permanent madness after that, but the vampire had given him more love and guidance than anyone so far in his life and after some wise words from a stranger in a bar he decided to keep going. To keep living, to try and stay in control and become a proper member of society.  To do her proud. It partially worked, he had been alone and crazy for too long to be completely assimilated, but most people could overlook his moments. For several years after the war he etched out a living in Michigan, before heading north and settling in the safe haven of Haven, Ontario.

Eventually he fell back into his previous employment as an editor, working at one of Blackwell Media’s outposts up in Canada.  Recently though he was offered a job at their home base of Hollow Grove and decided to take up the offer.

❝  the nature of the beast

Although his companion did wonders in making Lachlan act like a human again, he still has a lot of faults.  Due to being utterly alone after he was turned and having spent over two decades this way Lachlan is somewhat mentally unstable.  Most of the time he is lucid and in control, though has a tendency to become caught up in conspiracy theories. When under significant mental or emotional stress however Lachlan can lose touch with reality and become confused and agitated.  In these periods he can’t tell what is real and what isn’t and will lash out at anyone and anything in his radius. To try and maintain control he meditates daily, finding the most solace in the night sky as he used to. While he obeys the rules of safe havens and uses blood bags, he prefers drinking straight from the source and has always found the illegal goings on of his residence.

He is scholarly, intelligent and well spoken and no matter where he moves in the world he requires a library within his house, no matter how small or large.  His sense of humour is something that never came back quite right despite his companion trying; often he doesn’t understand other’s jokes and a lot of people don’t understand his.  It’s a sense of humour that is warped and tends towards the dark side.

#all #vampire #Michiel Huisman

[mill3nniumforc3]

200: My crush’s name is: Russell :) 199: I was born in: April 1994 198: I am really: energetic 197: My cellphone company is: Verizon 196: My eye color is: hazel 195: My shoe size is: 7.5-8.5, depending on the shoe 194: My ring size is: 7.5 193: My height is: 5′5″ 192: I am allergic to: penicillin, cats, pollen, and strong scents 191: My 1st car was: I’ve never owned my own car. 190: My 1st job was: babysitting. First real job was a desk job at my university 189: Last book you read: I don’t remember. I don’t have time to read for leisure. 188: My bed is: comfy 187: My pet: Seamus the miniature schnauzer and Sugar the Aussie-mo 186: My best friend: Ashlyn 185: My favorite shampoo is: Dove 184: Xbox or ps3: neither 183: Piggy banks are: for kids and rainy days 182: In my pockets: nothing 181: On my calendar: going river tubing on Saturday, party next Saturday, trip for T’s birthday weekend, and possibly going to Kennywood and Kings Island sometime in August. 180: Marriage is: something for my future self 179: Spongebob can: do anything 178: My mom: is the bestest 177: The last three songs I bought were?: who buys music anymore? 176: Last YouTube video watched: probably an ASMR video 175: How many cousins do you have?: too many to count 174: Do you have any siblings?: three sisters 173: Are your parents divorced?: no 172: Are you taller than your mom?: yep 171: Do you play an instrument?: piano, drums, bells, and I know three chords of the guitar 170: What did you do yesterday?: sleep [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: sure 168: Luck: yes 167: Fate: maybe? 166: Yourself: depends on the day 165: Aliens: not really... 164: Heaven: yes 163: Hell: Do I believe in it? Yes, because God is just. Do I believe people are damned there? No, because God is loving. 162: God: yes 161: Horoscopes: no. It’s funny to see “horoscope” posts and see if they apply to me, but it’s a bunch of b.s. A bunch of Aries aren’t going to have the same day/month/year. That’s ridiculous. 160: Soul mates: I’m not sure if I do or don’t, but I do believe in love. 159: Ghosts: no 158: Gay Marriage: of course! 157: War: it’s an unfortunate and unnecessary part of life 156: Orbs: no 155: Magic: yes [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: both 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: no comment 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: hot 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: spring 146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: straight 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s (though I’m probably biased because I work there) 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: both 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: neither 136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 135: Burried or cremated: I want to be cremated and have my ashes buried with a seed and grow into a tree 134: Singing or Dancing: dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: neither 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Kat 131: Small town or Big city: small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben 128: Manicure or Pedicure: mani 127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas. My birthday stopped being special after I turned 19. I get good food every year on Christmas. 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: Six Flags 123: Yankees or Red Sox: Indians [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. 121: George Bush: he had some good policies. Better than Trump, that’s for damn sure. 120: Gay Marriage: should never be illegal again. 119: The presidential election: #FuckTrump #VoteBlueNoMatterWho #ImpeachTheMF 118: Abortion: all my life, I was told to be pro-life. These days, I don’t know anymore, but I think my beliefs are closer to pro-choice than pro-life. 117: MySpace: it’s not 2008 anymore. 116: Reality TV: glad it’s not my life 115: Parents: they’re doing their best. I’m not looking to be one anytime soon though. 114: Back stabbers: bye! 113: Ebay: Amazon is better. 112: Facebook: these days, I use it to get laughs and memes. I don’t interact with people I know IRL much. 111: Work: good for the money. Not good for my mental health. 110: My Neighbors: they’re ok. 109: Gas Prices: #ThanksTrump 108: Designer Clothes: I can get good clothes at Target. The only “splurge” I do for clothes is at Spencer’s or Kohl’s. 107: College: I plan to go back soon. 106: Sports: entertaining. 105: My family: family is life. 104: The future: anything can happen [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: Tuesday. 102: Last time you ate: a couple hours ago (chik’n patties and cheese) 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: last week. I saw a manager I hadn’t worked with in like a month. 100: Cried in front of someone: Monday 99: Went to a movie theater: July 2nd 98: Took a vacation: June 97: Swam in a pool: back in February 96: Changed a diaper: I don’t remember 95: Got my nails done: way too long ago 94: Went to a wedding: in April 93: Broke a bone: 2017 (broke my toe) 92: Got a piercing: 2006 91: Broke the law: never. I’m a good person. 90: Texted: three hours ago [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: Russell 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog 87: The last movie I saw: in theatres, Toy Story 4. At home, Adventures in Babysitting. 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: being off on Saturday 85: The thing im not looking forward to: working tomorrow 84: People call me: Vonnie, Vonn, Bonbon, Sophia, and “the girl” 83: The most difficult thing to do is: not cry while watching Grey’s Anatomy 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: Aries 80: The first person i talked to today was: my sister 79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten. His name was Wally, and we were “boyfriend and girlfriend” til about third grade, and we remained friends til we graduated 8th grade. Haven’t talked to him much since. 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Russell 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Sunday 76: Right now I am talking to: nobody because it’s 3:30am 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I hope to be teaching English education 74: I have/will get a job: I currently work at McDonald’s, but within the next 6-12 months, I’ll be moving out of state, so who knows where I’ll work.  73: Tomorrow: work 72: Today: work 71: Next Summer: I’ll be in a whole new state, so that means new amusement parks to visit and rollies to ride. 70: Next Weekend: party. Oh, and next Saturday makes officially 18 months with me and Russell, so go us! 69: I have these pets: two dogs 68: The worst sound in the world: the beeping in the headset when I work back cash. It haunts my nightmares 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Heather because she sends me to back cash all the time 66: People that make you happy: Russell, my mom, my dogs, Ashlyn, and Aunt Dolly because she sends me lives on Candy Crush 65: Last time I cried: Monday 64: My friends are: Ashlyn, Mikayla, Jon, Rilee, Lamar, Tae, Alexus, Clare, Katie, Mario, and Kel 63: My computer is: all mine because I bought it with my own money 62: My School: not in school  61: My Car: don’t have one 60: I lose all respect for people who: lie 59: The movie I cried at was: Avengers: Endgame 58: Your hair color is: natural 57: TV shows you watch: Grey’s Anatomy, Once Upon a Time, House, The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, and... I don’t really watch TV because I don’t have cable. 56: Favorite web site: YouTube 55: Your dream vacation: Just a big coaster trip 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: my period this month. I had cramps for days leading up to my period that were so bad that, the day my period actually came, I couldn’t stand straight. 53: How do you like your steak cooked: I don’t eat steak 52: My room is: a mess, like my life 51: My favorite celebrity is: NPH 50: Where would you like to be: with my boyfriend 49: Do you want children: someday, but not today 48: Ever been in love: ohhh yes. 47: Who’s your best friend: not answering again 46: More guy friends or girl friends: i think i have a fair amount of both 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: this is tmi, but sex with my bf. 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Russell 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: yes 41: Have you pre-named your children: I don’t have any definitive names, but I’m thinking MaryGrace Linda for a girl, and James Sebastian for a boy 40: Last person I got mad at: Anna because she put me on back cash 39: I would like to move to: someplace south 38: I wish I was a professional: dancer.... no, writer.... no, why not both? [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: peanut butter cups 36: Vehicle: Jeep 35: President: FDR 34: State visited: North Carolina (not just saying that because I lived there for two months) 33: Cellphone provider: Verizon 32: Athlete: Trevor Bauer 31: Actor: Justin Chambers 30: Actress: Amy Poehler 29: Singer: Chester Bennington 28: Band: Linkin Park 27: Clothing store: Kohl’s 26: Grocery store: Marc’s 25: TV show: Grey’s Anatomy 24: Movie: 13 Going on 30 23: Website: Pogo 22: Animal: seal 21: Theme park: Cedar Point 20: Holiday: Christmas 19: Sport to watch: baseball 18: Sport to play: softball 17: Magazine: I only read magazines at the dentist office, and I’ll read whichever has an interesting cover story 16: Book: A Series of Unfortunate Events 15: Day of the week: Saturday, as long as I’m not at work. If I’m working, then Mondays, I guess... 14: Beach: Huntington 13: Concert attended: Winter Jam, because I got to see Skillet play, and I met Matthew West. 12: Thing to cook: desserts 11: Food: eggplant parm 10: Restaurant: Olive Garden 9: Radio station: Star 102 8: Yankee candle scent: vanilla 7: Perfume: I don’t wear perfume 6: Flower: Daisies 5: Color: pink 4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres 3: Comedian: Steve Rannazzisi 2: Dog breed: I really like terriers lol 1: did you answer all these truthfully ?: For me to know and you to find out :)

#about me #bored #lol

[that-buckley-gal]

Powerless - (Final) Chapter Eighteen

December 14, 1945

It’s now been seven months since Bucky died and five since Steve disappeared and believed to be dead. After leaving Italy, I didn’t know where I could go, if I could go anywhere.

When I finally arrived in the states, I was directed to and eventually locked up on Ellis Island for about two days trying to prove I was a natural-born American who’s been on vacation in Europe for the past two years. I had American citizenship. The only way I got through was by quietly telling the person who was handling my case was by showing her my marriage license, my birth certificate, and confirming the truth that my brother was Captain America, rest his soul. Only then was I allowed to place a call to the number Howard gave me along with the address. Slightly concerned about the time, 5:43 AM, I thought I should try again later in order to not disturb whoever it was I calling. “Hello, this is Jarvis,” a smooth voice rang out from the other end just before I was going to hang up the phone. “Oh, um. Hello,” I said nervously. “I hope I’m not bothering you, sir. But Howard, uh, Stark gave me this number – ” “Madison Barnes, I assume?” Jarvis asked, more alert this time. “Um, yes,” I weakly confirm. “Are you in danger or in need of any assistance?” He asked, and I knew the poor man was fully awake now. “Um, I just need some help getting out of this place, I guess. I had to go through immigration,” I say. “Give me forty minutes, and I’ll be there.” “Thank you, sir.” I waited forty minutes, and then a man in a suit came and got me out of there. Only once we were safely strapped in in a car and driving away did he properly introduce himself as Edwin Jarvis, Howard’s household butler who was, up until now, on indefinite vacation from his post. He expressed gratitude for calling him right away instead of letting him sit around a while longer. We drove around the city for a while, and got breakfast at an automat where a spunky girl served us; she was slightly proud in admitting she’d just started working there and was aspiring to be on Broadway. She was adamant that we leave with the belief that we would see Angie Martinelli on Broadway in the near future. Shortly after that, Jarvis drove me to Howard’s mansion where I would be staying until he returned, and said I could call him any time if I needed anything else. Later, in the beginning of May, World War II officially came to an end with the Nazis surrendering to the Allied Forces. It didn’t bring me any consolation other than slight relief that my baby wouldn’t have to grow up in a world at war. Shortly after that, Howard came back to New York as well and said that, if I wanted to, I could continue to live at the mansion while he went looking for Steve. I accepted the offer and he took his leave again. He would pop back in every now and again with news of his findings – apparently he came across the Tesseract in his search for Steve, and he brought it to his own lab for further research. His sporadic visits, and my rarely leaving the house, lead the press into printing news that I was his wife and that he was the father of my child. Speaking of the baby, Stefan James Barnes was born on June 20, 1945 at 7:43 in the morning. Labor was a pain, and my only support was Jarvis, not that I minded so much; apparently Howard was on his way home to come see that everything was okay, even though it was. Stefan was 6 pounds, 8 ounces and measured in at 20 inches. He didn’t cry too much after he was out, and despite my deep desire to hold him, I didn’t. He was my baby, yes, but he was out. Seeing him there, knowing he would never be cared for or taught right from wrong by Bucky or Steve, or even fully understand who they were as people depressed me and I couldn’t bring myself to hold him. A few hours passed before I managed to convince myself that it would be all right to hold him. I picked him up and held him for hours until he finally woke up from his nap. When I saw the color of his eyes, I knew I would never let him go and would sooner die rather than let anyone try to hurt him. Stefan had Bucky’s eyes. So, my life moved along as my baby grew everyday. Occasionally the thought to try to call Peggy or let her know I was at least okay and alive crossed my mind, but something told me she already knew. On the first day of August, I received an envelope that confirmed it. There was no return address. When I did open it hours later, I found it was nothing but a congratulatory note from Peggy on my birth. I figured she must’ve talked to Howard because she wouldn’t know Stefan’s name otherwise. I also recovered the vial of the super-soldier serum from my old apartment back. My old acquaintance, Dottie, was now living in my and Steve’s old apartment. I met her husband, Jack Thompson, who was also her first boyfriend who she met up with when Steve left her at the World Expo. He was a little weary of my being Captain America’s sister, but otherwise welcomed me into my former home. Since Dottie was so empathetic, I decided to express a desire to say goodbye to my home. She convinced Jack to take a quick walk with her to give me time to be alone. As soon as they were gone I went to my old room and pried up the floorboards that hid the serum, grabbed the bottle and returned to the living room just as the couple returned. I wished them a happy life together, and Dottie and I parted ways on a happy note. When I got back home, I sent Jarvis off to his own home for the rest of the day. Partly because he needed a break every once in a while, and partly because I wanted to break into Howard’s lab to grab something smaller than what I had now to present the serum to Howard.

Howard returned, leaving his team to continue his search for Steve. He and I spent the day, as usual, in the lab. Me doing paperwork, and him doing what it was he did. I’d just returned from feeding Stefan when I decide now was a good time as any to give Howard the serum. Taking a deep breath, I stop writing down information and look up at Howard. He was observing the Tesseract again. I call his attention to me and grab the vial from my desk drawer and hold it up. “I have this vial of Erskine’s serum,” I stated. Howard’s eyes popped open and his jaw slacked. He barely managed to stammer out, “How did you get it?” “Uh… Don’t be too mad, but he gave it to me just before Steve’s transformation. He, uh, he trusted me to keep it a secret ‘until the time was right’ and it just feels like now is the right time.” Howard gently swipes the serum from me and eyes the vial hungrily before looking at me. “Do you have any more?” He asked hopefully. I bite my lip and shake my head. “No. This is all that Erskine trusted me with. Nobody besides him knew I had it.” “Oh, wow. This is really amazing,” Howard gushed. “Thank you for trusting me with it.” “Well, it’s not going to do any good just sitting there,” I say with a shrug. “I’ll have to use this sparingly if I’m ever going to figure it out. And also find a way to get my hands on Erskine’s original research.” I could hear Stefan beginning to cry, and left Howard to his own devices as he continued to mutter things about what he needed and plans on how he could possibly get what he needed. Stefan was such a good baby. He’d usually stop crying as soon as I entered the room. The almost-six-month-old gurgled and reached out his hands. Knowing he wanted to be held, I just smiled at him and picked him up. He was my little boy and I was going to spoil him, especially since the only other two people in my life currently weren’t going to try to stop me as they spoiled him too. “HEY – MADI? Can you come here for a sec?” Howard called. “Ooh, what’s uncle Howie gonna need now?” I ask Stefan, who only giggles. “Can you said ‘Howie’?” “Ooh,” the baby cooed. “Oww-ee.” “What’s up?” I ask once we enter the room. Howard had set the serum on his table, and appeared to be moving papers while trying to clean up a spilled cup of coffee. Concerned for my scatter-brained boss, I step further into the lab. “If you could just move your shield to your workstation and out of my way, it’d be appreciated,” Howard said. Looking by his feet, I could see my shield was on the ground, feet away from Howard. Shaking my head at him, I walk over and grab it. “What are you even doing?” I ask once I step towards my station, still having Stefan secured in one arm, and the shield in the other as I look for a place to set it that wasn’t ‘in the way’. “Trying to figure out how I can balance the serum and the Tesseract,” Howard said nonchalantly. “And I’ve come to a decision that I need to pick one.” “All by your self?” I ask. “Ha, ha,” Howard said drily. I snigger to myself before kicking a box away, not knowing where it would go. Only when I heard a crash did I look up to see that the box had crashed into a shelf, which was already on the verge of collapsing, and made the whole thing fall apart. Everything that was strategically stacked on it went crashing to the floor. One of the larger, more pointless, things (a large ball of some sort that I still didn’t know what Howard used it for) went rolling in the direction of the triangular table that stood behind Howard, and took out one of its legs. The table now balanced on two legs, and cringing, I watch as it fell, dropping more papers and the case the Tesseract was in. The glass case broke, letting the Tesseract free bounce away. When everything finally stilled, I looked at Howard apologetically while Stefan started giggling at the mess. “I am so sorry.” Instead of being angry, like I would understand him to be, he just gave a weak shrug and a tight chuckle. “Don’t worry about it, kid. I probably needed new furniture in here anyway.” “But still. I should’ve just – ” The Tesseract, that was seemingly unaffected, suddenly let off a large emission of power that was headed straight for me. Instead of jumping out of the way, I curl up around Sebastian who started to cry, and cover us with the shield. “MADI!” The shield turned blue, and I could feel the Tesseract’s power engulf Stefan and myself. I couldn’t stop it, but whatever happened, if we survived this, I knew I would do whatever it took to keep Stefan safe. A loud ‘CRACK’ sounded and I heard myself screaming, from both fear and frustration because, for the first time in my life, I felt completely powerless.

#powerless #bucky barnes #captain america #the first avenger #steve rogers

[dave-meowstaine]

All of them!!!! Muahahaha

Oh god hahahaha

200: My crush’s name is - Elizabeth Nicole Nieves

199: I was born in - London 1998

198: I am really - Happy! :D

197: My cellphone company is - Vodaphone

196: My eye color is - Blue (interchangeable) 

195: My shoe size is - 6

194: My ring size is - No idea

193: My height is - 6ft exactly!

192: I am allergic to - Nothing that I know of

191: My 1st car was - Never had a car

190: My 1st job was - Working at my local food store 

189: Last book you read - Genuinely can’t remember. I really need to read more

188: My bed is - Too small :(

187: My pet - 2 cats and a doggy

186: My best friend(s) - Are amazing! 

185: My favorite shampoo is - Don’t have one

184: Xbox or ps3 - Definitely PS3

183: Piggy banks are - Cute but I never have spare change on me and if I do it just goes in my wallet

182: In my pockets - Nothing

181: On my calendar - Induction day on the 17th of August

180: Marriage is - Amaziiiing if it’s the right person

179: Spongebob can - make me laugh a lot I fucking love spongebob

178: My mom - Is an amazing, strong woman

177: The last three songs I bought were - Green Day’s American Idiot album because it wouldn’t important onto my iTunes from the CD I had so I just rebought the album on iTunes

176: Last YouTube video watched - A stupid Twitch highlights compilation 

175: How many cousins do you have? - None. I have 2 step cousins but my uncle isn’t married to there mum, they’re just in a long term relationship so…

174: Do you have any siblings? - I have a sister who is 23

173: Are your parents divorced? - Nope

172: Are you taller than your mom? - Yeah by nearly a foot haha

171: Do you play an instrument? - I play guitar and bass, a little bit on the drums, and I used to play the trumpet

170: What did you do yesterday? - Talked to Lizzie all day (as usual)

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight - Kindaaa? I mean, I think you have to get to know someone properly in order to love them, but I think you can have a pretty good idea when you first meet

168: Luck - Not really. 

167: Fate - To an extent. I think somethings are just meant to be, but we make a lot of our own decisions

166: Yourself - Yes, definitely

165: Aliens - Yes. Our universe is waaaaay too big for us to be the only ones in it

164: Heaven - Nope

163: Hell - Nope

162: God - Nope

161: Horoscopes - Yep!

160: Soul mates - Already found mine

159: Ghosts - I’m not really sure. I would like to

158: Gay Marriage - Of course. Love is love, no matter what the gender

157: War - I believe that conflict is a natural part of the human race no matter how much we wished it wasn’t

156: Orbs - Just light exposure 

155: Magic - Would be cool but no

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses - Depends on the person. Definitely kisses with my baby girl, though

153: Drunk or High - Probably high because I throw up when I get drunk (I mean properly drunk)

152: Phone or Online - Online definitely

151: Red heads or Black haired - Black haired

150: Blondes or Brunettes - Brunettes 

149: Hot or cold - Cold because you can snuggle up and get all cozy

148: Summer or winter - Winter

147: Autumn or Spring - Autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla - Chocolate

145: Night or Day - Night

144: Oranges or Apples - Apples

143: Curly or Straight hair - Wavey 

142: McDonalds or Burger King - McDonalds but I haven’t been since I became a vegetarian 

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate - Milk chocolate

140: Mac or PC - PC obviously

139: Flip flops or high heels - High heels

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor - Sweet and poor obviously

137: Coke or Pepsi - Pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama - Obama

135: Burried or cremated - Cremated

134: Singing or Dancing - Both

133: Coach or Chanel - No idea

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks - Who?

131: Small town or Big city - Small town

130: Wal-Mart or Target - British

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler - Ben Stiller

128: Manicure or Pedicure - No idea

127: East Coast or West Coast - No idea

126: Your Birthday or Christmas - I don’t like either…

125: Chocolate or Flowers - Chocolate but flowers are adorable af

124: Disney or Six Flags - Haven’t been to either so idk

123: Yankees or Red Sox - idk[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War - Didn’t I answer this earlier?

121: George Bush - Better to not get into politics

120: Gay Marriage - Love is love

119: The presidential election - No thank you

118: Abortion - I feel that if it is safe and appropriate that the father of the child should be involved, but at the end of the day it’s the woman’s body and therefore her choice.

117: MySpace - That was my shit back in the day

116: Reality TV - Don’t care

115: Parents - I love my parents. My parents have always been there for me and supported me and I am very grateful for that. I know how lucky I am in that regards

114: Back stabbers - Fuck off

113: Ebay - Good shit, cheap prices, probably get ripped off

112: Facebook - I mean, I use it to communicate with friends but that’s it

111: Work - I would rather not, but wouldn’t we all?

110: My Neighbors - The house is rented out but at the moment it’s a single mum and her two kids and she seems nices

109: Gas Prices - Too damn high

108: Designer Clothes - Ehhh

107: College - I’m currently in college 

106: Sports - Effort

105: My family - I love my family

104: The future - EXCITING

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone - I hugged my mum earlier today

102: Last time you ate - 4 hours ago

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile - I’m seeing my friends tomorrow

100: Cried in front of someone - Last night in front of Lizzie

99: Went to a movie theater - Over a year ago with my best friend, Ed

98: Took a vacation - Last month we went to the Isle of Wight

97: Swam in a pool - School Swimming, like, 4 years ago. I threw up everywhere lol

96: Changed a diaper - Never

95: Got my nails done - Years ago

94: Went to a wedding - Never been to one

93: Broke a bone - Never broken a bone

92: Got a piercing - 2 years ago

91: Broke the law - Don’t know

90: Texted - 12:15am

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most - Definitely Lizzie

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is - My PC ngl

87: The last movie I saw - Inglorious Basterds

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most - Being with Lizzie

85: The thing im not looking forward to - No idea

84: People call me - Tyler

83: The most difficult thing to do is - Be so far away from my baby girl

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket - Nope

81: My zodiac sign is - Libra

80: The first person i talked to today was - Lizzie. We always fall asleep on the phone together so we wake up on the phone too

79: First time you had a crush - When I was, like, 8?

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from - Lizzie

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking - Lizzie and I always say things at exactly the same time soooo

76: Right now I am talking to - Lizzie

75: What are you going to do when you grow up - I wanna be an IT technician 

74: I have/will get a job - I will get a job after I graduate college

73: Tomorrow - I’m gonna go meet up with friends

72: Today - I answered so many asks I have hand cramp :)

71: Next Summer - Don’t know yet

70: Next Weekend - Probably nothing

69: I have these pets - 2 cats and a dog

68: The worst sound in the world - My baby girl crying or the sound of her voice when I know something is wrong

67: The person that makes me cry the most is - Lizzie because of how fucking perfect she is

66: People that make you happy - Lizzie and my friends

65: Last time I cried - Last night

64: My friends are - There’s a lot of them haha

63: My computer is:

Operating System: Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bitProcessor: Intel® Core™ i5-4670K CPU @ 3.40GHzMotherboard: Gigabyte GA-Z87-HD3Sound: NVIDIA High Definition AudioGraphics Card: msi GeForce GTX 970 GAMING 4GBPSU: Cooler Master 600WCooling System: Cooler Master HYPER 212XMain Storage: 1TB HDDAdditional Storage: 500GB Samsung 850 EVO SSDRAM: 8GB Mouse: UtechSmart Venus 50Keyboard: Gigabyte Force K3Headset: Beexcellent Gaming Headset with MicMousepad: Diablo III Reaper of Souls Collector’s Edition Mousepad

62: My School - Is a college in Cirencester. It’s pretty chill, don’t have to be there a lot

61: My Car - Don’t have one

60: I lose all respect for people who - Are assholes or fuckboys (but I respect people who are assholes to fuckboys lol)

59: The movie I cried at was - No idea

58: Your hair color is - Dirty blonde

57: TV shows you watch - Just The Walking Dead

56: Favorite web site - Youtube

55: Your dream vacation - I don’t know. I want to travel the world with my baby girl

54: The worst pain I was ever in was - No idea

53: How do you like your steak cooked - Vegetarian 

52: My room is - Messy as shit

51: My favorite celebrity is - Don’t have one

50: Where would you like to be - With Lizzie :((((((((((((

49: Do you want children - I do

48: Ever been in love - I am right now

47: Who’s your best friend - Lizzie and Ed

46: More guy friends or girl friends - Guy friends

45: One thing that makes you feel great is - Lizzie

44: One person that you wish you could see right now - Lizzie

43: Do you have a 5 year plan - No, but I have general ideas about what I want to happen

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die - Nope

41: Have you pre-named your children - Kinda

40: Last person I got mad at - My mum

39: I would like to move to - Nowhere, to be honest

38: I wish I was a professional - Skateboarder would be awesome

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy - I used to love Wine Gums and Haribo but I’m a vegetarian now so…

36: Vehicle - Don’t have one

35: President - Don’t have one

34: State visited - Never been to America :(

33: Cellphone provider - Don’t have one

32: Athlete - Don’t have one

31: Actor - Don’t have one

30: Actress - Don’t have one

29: Singer - Don’t have one

28: Band - Slipknot

27: Clothing store - Don’t have one

26: Grocery store - Don’t have one

25: TV show - Breaking Bad

24: Movie - John Carpenter’s The Thing

23: Website - Youtube

22: Animal - Chimps

21: Theme park - Don’t have one

20: Holiday - Scotland

19: Sport to watch - Don’t have one

18: Sport to play - I like Basketball

17: Magazine - I love tattoo mags

16: Book - I Am Legend by Richard Matheson

15: Day of the week - Saturday

14: Beach - St Helens on the Isle of Wight

13: Concert attended - Slayer with Anthrax supporting

12: Thing to cook - Don’t know

11: Food - PIZZA

10: Restaurant - Don’t have one

9: Radio station - Don’t have one

8: Yankee candle scent - Don’t have one

7: Perfume - Don’t have one

6: Flower - Don’t have one

5: Color - Red

4: Talk show host - Don’t have one

3: Comedian - Don’t have one

2: Dog breed - Don’t have one

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? - Of course. What’s the point of answering them if I wasn’t honest?

Sorry I answered so many of these with I don’t know, but I really don’t know haha. Thank you! :)

#asks #anon

[sdmn-edits]

1-200

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t actually have a crush anymore😂😂199: I was born in: June198: I am really: weird197: My cellphone company is: Vodafone - it works where i go on holiday so it does me just fine 😂196: My eye color is: it changes - like sometimes its blue, green, grey and a mixture of blue and green - it’s weird .195: My shoe size is: 3 or 4 (5 at a push)194: My ring size is: I’ve never actually had it measured so idk 😂😂193: My height is: 5ft 5 - I’m growing lads!!!192: I am allergic to: waterproof plasters, bee/wasp stings (only mildly though - like i won’t die but just turn into a massive red ball), some soaps, most makeups, chalk and face paint.191: My 1st car was: I can’t even drive yet 😂😂190: My 1st job was: I don’t know if you would class this as a job but for my work experience, I worked at a cafe for two weeks. 189: Last book you read: Jane Eyre (one of my faves)188: My bed is: single - like me😉😂187: My pet: (s) two cats, (which my mum named) one called Mike and the other called Matt. I also have a pony called William (Billy for short)186: My best friend: @paigexxixo @sdmn-md @minibaeminter @wroetoredman @line-sidemen @mintersmini @wroetojill and a girl from irl called Catherine - i couldn’t choose one so have a few of my faves185: My favorite shampoo is: John Frieda Frizz Ease184: Xbox or ps3: PS3 cos I haven’t played XBox183: Piggy banks are: expensive bacon182: In my pockets: by Morrie (who kinda sounds like Marzia which is kinda scary?)181: On my calendar: is my exams😂180: Marriage is: okay? I haven’t had my wedding yet so I don’t know?179: Spongebob can: dance the best.178: My mom: likes to name animals weird names. 😂177: The last three songs I bought were? A candle, some chocolates and a shock absorber.176: Last YouTube video watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSAeOhCrv_s175: How many cousins do you have? About 14 give or take 😂 174: Do you have any siblings? One - my sister (she’s 17 - 2 years older than me)173: Are your parents divorced? Nope.172: Are you taller than your mom? I’m the same height maybe a lil smaller 😂 171: Do you play an instrument? Not currently, no. But I can play the drums, recorder and piano/keyboard (not perfectly but alright)170: What did you do yesterday? I played in two tournaments and had a back massage.[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: Idk 😂😂 168: Luck: Yeah I guess.167: Fate: Yeah. 166: Yourself: Mm not all the time 😂😂 165: Aliens: Yeah.164: Heaven: Yeah.163: Hell: Yeah.162: God: Yeah definitely.161: Horoscopes: Some.160: Soul mates: I guess? 😂 159: Ghosts: Yeah.158: Gay Marriage: YES! UNFOLLOW ME AS I DO NOT CARE, I BELIEVE IN EVERYONE HAS RIGHTS TO MARRY WHO THEY WANT, WHEN THEY WANT FIGHT ME IF YOU WANT!!157: War: Definitely not! 156: Orbs: Yeah I guess?155: Magic: Some 😂 [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Neither - I don’t do either of them.152: Phone or Online: Depends.151: Red heads or Black haired: Both are equally as cute150: Blondes or Brunettes: Both are equally as cute149: Hot or cold: Warm.148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: AUTUMN! IT’S THE BEST SEASON EVER!!!!!!!146: Chocolate or vanilla: Both together cos I’m a weirdo like that 😂😂 145: Night or Day: Night - I love looking at the stars tho I do like to cloud watch from time to time144: Oranges or Apples: Apples.143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight142: McDonalds or Burger King: Maccy D’s all the way😂😂 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Not really a fan of chocolate if I’m honest 😂😂 140: Mac or PC: PC for generic stuff, Mac for editing139: Flip flops or high heals: Neither.138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Ugly and rich so I can give money to charity etc137: Coke or Pepsi: Neither136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Burried or cremated: Either, I don’t care I’ll be dead 😂134: Singing or Dancing: Neither 😂😂133: Coach or Chanel: ??132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: ??131: Small town or Big city: Both130: Wal-Mart or Target: Neither 😂😂129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Both are hilarious 😂128: Manicure or Pedicure: Neither 😂127: East Coast or West Coast: ??126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Both?125: Chocolate or Flowers: FLOWERS!!124: Disney or Six Flags: DISNEY!!123: Yankees or Red Sox: ??[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: shouldn’t be a thing.121: George Bush: needs to grow up.120: Gay Marriage: I FULLY SUPPORT IT - UNFOLLOW ME IF YOU WANT!119: The presidential election: irdk? I don’t watch it.118: Abortion: it’s people’s choice117: MySpace: ??116: Reality TV: don’t watch it115: Parents: some do a lot more than others to provide for the kiddas114: Back stabbers: fuck you, ain’t nobody stabbing me in the back113: Ebay: it’s cool, you literally can get anything and everything off of it112: Facebook: it’s okay?111: Work: as in job? do what you wanna do, not what your mum or dad says.110: My Neighbors: very funny. 109: Gas Prices: you make my grades jealous - going up.108: Designer Clothes: i don’t really where designer 😂😂107: College: i like the look of the one I’m intending to go106: Sports: I LOVE THEM (except netball, benchball and basketball - please don’t hate me, i’m just short and i struggle 😂😂)105: My family: they are okay, just fam really.104: The future:i don’t tend to think much of it, i just let it happen 😂😂[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: like 10 mins ago102: Last time you ate: like an hour ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: A guy called Daniel (I didn’t see him until last week but I didn’t see him since November)100: Cried in front of someone: Idk 😂 99: Went to a movie theater: Last year - to watch Finding Dory98: Took a vacation: idk 😂 97: Swam in a pool: last year 😂 96: Changed a diaper: never 😂 95: Got my nails done: last august for a wedding - never again94: Went to a wedding: the same wedding 93: Broke a bone: two years ago 92: Got a peircing: two years ago91: Broke the law: never 😂 90: Texted: half an hour ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: lots of people 😂😂 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my bed 😂 87: The last movie I saw: Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 - Ik i’m a kid at heart, don’t judge 😂 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: leaving school85: The thing im not looking forward to: my exams and tomorrow84: People call me: lodes of shit, I ain’t gonna name ‘em all but some people know what they say.83: The most difficult thing to do is: waking up in a morning82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope81: My zodiac sign is: Cancer80: The first person i talked to today was: Mike - the cat but if we talking about people - my dad 😂😂 79: First time you had a crush: 3 years ago78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: nobody, i’m very open 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk 😂😂 76: Right now I am talking to: @paigexxixo  about bridge to terabithia 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully a graphics designer74: I have/will get a job: hopefully soon73: Tomorrow: school72: Today: sleep71: Next Summer: be fit70: Next Weekend: hopefully ask one of my friends from tennis their details69: I have these pets: cats and pony68: The worst sound in the world: nails dragging on chalk board, people smacking lips, people clicking pens, people shouting, people crying, people laughing, gun shots, explosions etc67: The person that makes me cry the most is: nobody 😂😂 66: People that make you happy: I could list forever65: Last time I cried: earlier - i was watching a vid of these boys crying and it just gets to me64: My friends are: lodes of people - most i have listed before63: My computer is: an acer62: My School: ??61: My Car: Audi A3 2010 model 1.6l?60: I lose all respect for people who: are homophobic, transphobic etc, people who hurt animals and people etc59: The movie I cried at was: ?? 58: Your hair color is: blonde57: TV shows you watch: that 70′s show, merlin, sherlock, heartland, doctor who, phineas and ferb, spongebob, tom and jerry, loony tunes56: Favorite web site: idk 😂😂 55: Your dream vacation: Guernsey, Jersey, Rome or Geneva54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i either broke my arm,  or when i fell off a horse and dislocated my knee and cracked two of my ribs or when i fell off a different horse and almost broke my back53: How do you like your steak cooked: i don’t eat meat or fish 😂😂 52: My room is: 8 year old me’s bad desicion51: My favorite celebrity is: Johnny Depp50: Where would you like to be: some place else49: Do you want children: not particularly48: Ever been in love: nope47: Who’s your best friend: lodes of people46: More guy friends or girl friends: guy friends45: One thing that makes you feel great is: people44: One person that you wish you could see right now: @paigexxixo or @sdmn-md43: Do you have a 5 year plan: nope 😂 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: nope 😂 41: Have you pre-named your children: nope😂 40: Last person I got mad at: *people: Looserpool 39: I would like to move to: either Guernsey, Jersey or Geneva38: I wish I was a professional: tennis player or sleeper 😂 [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Caramac36: Vehicle: Car (Tesla Model S P100D)35: President: Obama34: State visited: none - I’ve never left England33: Cellphone provider: Vodafone32: Athlete: Jessica Ennis-Hill31: Actor: Johnny Depp/Leo DiCaprio/Patrick Stewart30: Actress: Emma Stone29: Singer: ??28: Band: ??27: Clothing store: ??26: Grocery store: ??25: TV show: I have lodes24: Movie: I have lodes23: Website: I have lodes22: Animal: I love them all21: Theme park: I’ve only ever been to Flamingo Land20: Holiday: Yorkshire Dales or Whitby19: Sport to watch: Football (Soccer)18: Sport to play: Tennis17: Magazine: ??16: Book: Either Jane Eyre or I Capture The Castle15: Day of the week: Saturday14: Beach: idk 😂😂 13: Concert attended: I’ve never been to one 😂 12: Thing to cook: I like to cook all sorts 😂 11: Food: I like all sorts 😂 10: Restaurant: ??9: Radio station: ??8: Yankee candle scent: idk 😂 7: Perfume: idk 😂 6: Flower: Rose, Lily or blossom5: Color: Red or black4: Talk show host: ??3: Comedian: Michael McIntyre, Jack Whitehall, Peter Kay or Russell Howard2: Dog breed: Border Collie1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes!!!!

[jenniferfaye34]

#Giveaway + Excerpt ~ The Elusive Earl by Maddison Michaels... #HistoricalRomance #books

Brianna Penderley has a knack for getting into precarious situations, especially when it comes to her love for archaeology. In the heart of Naples, her terrible Italian has her accidentally becoming engaged to two men at the same time. Of course, Daniel Wolcott—the Earl of Thornton and the only man ever able to vex her—shows up to rescue her.

Daniel has spent the majority of his life exercising rigid control over his emotions, determined never to become the rake his father was. But when he goes to aid his mentor’s danger-prone niece once again, he finds himself struggling to control his attraction to a woman who is his complete opposite.

When their situation goes from bad to worse, Daniel and Brianna find themselves swept up into a perilous adventure, and they must work together to set things right. Now, if they can just avoid killing each other in the process.

  About the Book

The Elusive Earl by Maddison Michaels

Series Saints & Sinners Series

Genre Adult Historical Romance

Publisher Entangled Amara

Publication Date August 27, 2018

Purchase Your Copy Today! Amazon  |  Entangled Publishing  |  Barnes & Noble  |  Kobo  |  iBooks

  EXCERPT: Prologue Mendicino, Calabria, Italy—1833 “It was the most glorious treasure the world had ever seen. Gold, silver, rubies, diamonds bigger than a man’s fist, priceless statues and urns, all carried on the backs of the loyal army of the great Visigoth king: plunders and spoils from King Aleric’s successful sacking of Rome.” Isabella Maria Penderley stopped short with a start, hovering just outside the slightly ajar door of her baby daughter’s bedroom. A calm and melodic voice was recounting the tale of the fabled lost treasure. It was the voice of a man she had dreaded ever hearing again. Slowly, she pushed open the door until the entirety of the room came into view. She exhaled a sharp breath and her chest constricted at the sight that greeted her. Her husband Edward was lying deathly still in a pool of blood in the middle of the floor, the crimson of it trickling from a jagged gash across his throat. A broken sob wrenched from her lips, but she couldn’t move; all she could do was drag her gaze up from his still form to the man sitting beside her daughter’s cot. “Principessa Isabella, it is good to see you again, my dear.” His words were at odds with the steel in his eyes. “I am just regaling your daughter with the ancient tale of King Aleric and the great treasure he was buried with. The treasure you and your husband tried to cheat me of.” “Calogero, please, I beg you,” Isabella said. “We did no—” “Enough.” His voice was calm and even, though there was no mistaking the authority in his tone. “I believe I warned you what would happen if you and your husband double-crossed me, did I not?” “Please, you must not do this,” she implored, stepping into the room. “You’ve given me no choice.” He lifted his right hand. Clenched in his grip was a dagger, its blade dripping with blood. “Stay there, my dear. I don’t wish to use this on you, but I shall if I must.” Isabella felt her heart lurch, but she kept her attention steadily fixed on Calogero. She could not let herself look back down again at Edward, or she would be lost. Calogero glanced at the toddler, who, sitting in her cot, regarded him with innocent eyes. He turned back to Isabella and smiled, the smile that had always repulsed her with its merciless intent. “Clearly, she was destined to be a beauty like her mamma. A shame she will not grow old enough to do so. But do not fret. You shall have even more beautiful children with me.” “No, please, Calogero. I beg you, leave her alone. She has nothing to do with this.” “She has everything to do with this, Isabella.” His sharp gaze pierced into her own. “What is the little bastarda’s name?” Isabella squared her shoulders and raised her chin. “She is no bastarda. She is Brianna Elizabeta Maria Penderley, born within the sanctity of marriage. And though her surname may be Penderley, she is still my daughter and therefore of the house of Bartelli, heir to the kingdom of Cosenza.” The man gently laughed and casually stood. “Your father all but disowned you when you broke off your betrothal and ran off with this Englishman.” He took a step toward Edward’s still form and then kicked him in the ribs. Edward did not move. Isabella’s body clenched, but she had to block out the pain. Her daughter’s life depended on it. “My father is quick to anger but will recognize his grand-daughter.” The man shrugged. “I doubt it. But it won’t matter after you tell me the location of the final resting place of King Aleric and his riches. Then I will have no need of your father and his wealth.” “I do not know,” she implored. “You must believe me. Edward and I were close to finding the location, but we were not successful.” The man sighed and walked over to the crib. “It pains me to hear you lie straight to my face. I know you found the chamber, my dear. One of my spies heard you and that English husband of yours talking about it.” Isabella slowly began moving toward them, but he held up his knife in warning. “I will not warn you again, Principessa.”

Tour Wide Giveaway

To celebrate the release of THE ELUSIVE EARL by Maddison Michaels, we’re giving away for a $25 Amazon gift card!

GIVEAWAY TERMS & CONDITIONS:  Open internationally. One winner will be chosen to receive a $25 Amazon gift card. This giveaway is administered by Pure Textuality PR on behalf of Entangled Publishing.  Giveaway ends 9/9/2018 @ 11:59pm EST. Entangled Publishing will send one winning prize, Pure Textuality PR will deliver the other. Limit one entry per reader and mailing address. Duplicates will be deleted.  CLICK HERE TO ENTER!

    About Maddison Michaels

Indoctrinated into a world of dashing rogues and feisty heroines when she was 14 years old, MADDISON MICHAELS is a prolific reader and writer of romantic suspense and historical fiction. She gets her daily dose of suspense from prosecuting real life villains in the Courts.

A member of the RWA and RWA Australia, Maddison is as passionate about her writing as she is about her other two loves; her family and her cups of tea. Luckily she gets a healthy dash of romance married to her wonderful husband and her exercise regime is kept on track by her six-year-old daughter, who ensures Maddison is kept very busy chasing her around.

Maddison’s historical novels are her way of time traveling back to Victorian London to experience a cornucopia of intrigue, romance and debauchery all from the comfort of her living room! Her next novel ‘The Elusive Earl’ is the second book in her ‘Saints and Scoundrels’ series, and is set in the same world as her first book ‘The Devilish Duke’.

Website  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Goodreads  |  Amazon

    This promotion is brought to you by Pure Textuality PR.

#The Elusive Earl #Maddison Michaels #Historical Romance #Pure Textuality PR #Hearts & Scribbles

[irant-rpc]

Para samples from a character I played in August Burns Red a year ago:

Para Sample 1:

Dante verses Violet. That’s how it had always been. The others had no interest in running the empire; her naïve younger brothers and sisters had other priorities. Normal ones…as if being normal was a good thing. Other sixteen-year-old girls were worried about boys and getting asked to the prom. Violet was different, her mother had primed her for the day that she would run their kingdom. Dante was so sure of himself. He had been tormenting her all week saying that mother had practically assured him as the heir. They were almost the same age, Dante only being a few months older; which he thought gave him an advantage. Violet smoothed her black dress in the mirror in front of her and took a deep breath. Mother would make the right choice.

           Dante was immature in her mind and she hoped her mother would see the same. He may have been adopted first but she was smarter and had always managed to find a way to overshadow him. He was a rule follower but she was a rule maker. Sure, Dante always followed mother’s every order but Violet would find ways to improve upon them or get the job done more efficiently. It wasn’t his fault that he simply could not beat her. She thought his expectations were a bit unrealistic but she would be lying if she said his confidence wasn’t a bit unnerving.

           Violet turned away from the mirror. She had been nervously waiting all day for her mother to call her and Dante into her office. Dante’s room was just across the hall. She wanted to say something; he was her brother despite the rivalry. Quietly stepping outside of her room she knocked on Dante’s door, “Brother?”

She heard one of his distinctive groans, “What do you want Violet?”

Ignoring his obvious tone of annoyance she opened the door and peeked her head in. “I just wanted to say good luck and that despite what happens you’ll still be my brother.” She offered a slight smile, twisting a piece of her dark hair between her perfectly manicured fingers.

“Yeah right…” he scoffed, mouthing the words ‘good luck’ to mock her. “If you were really my sister you’d know that I am the true heir. I deserve this Violet, not you.”

She opened her mouth to retaliate but her mother’s voice cut her off as it came through the intercom. “Come downstairs darlings, it’s time.”

Violet glared at Dante before turning on her heel and storming towards their mother’s office. She heard him scramble clumsily to his feet and follow right behind her. It was the moment that she had waited her entire life for. The two walked through the large wooden doors that led into their mother’s office and found her sitting patiently behind her desk. She could tell that Dante had attempted to make himself look older and it was almost believable. It was strange to think that at sixteen they would learn their futures. One of them would go on to run the entire mob and the other would simply follow orders for the rest of their life. It was terrifying to think that she may have to answer to Dante if this decision did not go in her favor. She did not let her mother see her fear or nervousness. Violet prided herself on her poker face and it was most certainly coming in handy.

Daniella took a deep breath and stared into the eyes of her children. “You know that I love you both dearly but you also know that I can only choose one of you. This job requires strength and patience, wisdom and endurance, and most importantly someone who can lead this family and our followers to greatness and prosperity.” She paused, standing so that she could walk over to her children. Placing a hand on each child, she continued, “I believe that both of you have the skills needed to take my place but I must choose the child that I believe will thrive. Dante, you were my first child and you have brought much joy to my life. You are a skilled fighter and have never once let me down” Daniella looked to Violet, “Violet, my first daughter. You have accomplished so much in your young life and I am very proud to be your mother and my decisions stands that you would be suited to take the keys to this empire. I’m sorry Dante, my love.”

When her mother said the words, her world went into slow motion. Dante began to yell with anguish and hatred but Violet wasn’t paying attention. Her mother had chosen her to be the heir to their empire. It was surreal and she hardly noticed Dante storm out of the room, his boy-like face stained with tears. A smirk formed on her lips but it quickly disappeared as her mother’s hand came in contact with her face. She cried out and grabbed her cheek, “What was that for mother?”

Daniella took her daughter’s hand in hers, “You should not take pleasure in your brother’s pain. Family is everything in this world and that is a lesson that you need to learn before you take over.” She said leading her daughter over to the window. New York’s skyline was laid out in front of them. “It’s not going to be easy Violet, being a woman in a man’s world is a tricky balance. You are turning into such a strong and independent young woman and I don’t believe I will regret this decision.” Daniella smiled down at Violet, “Look out at your kingdom darling and never forget that you are as great and strong as any man.”

Para Sample 2: 

“Give it up champ” Violet leaned over the cold, metal table and twisted the knife under the man’s chin. “You’re either going to tell me what I want or this is going to get much, much worse for you.” She said putting just enough pressure on the blade to break the skin. “And much more fun for me” She smirked and watched as a drop of blood slid down the tip of her knife and settled on the handle. Torturing the scum of Wonderland had become a nice little hobby of hers. The stress of being an underboss needed some sort of outlet and making people scream happened to be rather satisfying. She removed the knife from his chin and walked around the table, dragging the blade along the metal surface. The man fought against his cuffs as she moved closer. The fear in his eyes was invigorating. “Are you ready to talk yet?” She pressed her knife to his face as he pulled away. Violet’s favorite form of torture was making small, deep cuts all over her prisoner’s bodies until they finally broke or bled out on scene. She made a small slice over his cheek and watched as his face contorted in pain. Violet leaned down to his ear, “I can do this all day.” She grinned and made another cut along his jaw.

The door opened and Violet’s head whipped around to see who would dare come in, “You know I don’t like to be interrupted.” She said glaring at the person in the doorway.

“Apologies Miss Romono but your mother would like to have a word.”

She groaned in frustration, standing to an upright position. “Fine.” she muttered, turning back to the man she had chained to the chair. Violet stabbed the knife through his hand before walking out of the room, “Get someone in there now.”

Her mother was waiting for her down the hall and unfortunately she was not in the position to be angry with her mother for interrupting. She recomposed herself and forced a smile. “Hey, what brings you here mother?” She said stopping in front of Daniella and clasping her hands in front of her.

“We have some things to discuss Violet but I don’t have much time at the moment I only wished to give you some time to think things over.”

“Think what over?” She furrowed her brows. She couldn’t help but dread whatever was about to come out of her mother’s mouth next. Usually she was rather upfront about what she wanted but when it came to her own personal life Daniella tip toed around it.

“I’ve heard recently that Nick asked about an open marriage. Violet, darling you have to understand why this concerns me. If he is to be the father of your child and the heir to this family I have to know that he is serious about your marriage.”

Violet, ignoring the fact of how her mother somehow found out about Nick’s proposal just kept a straight face. “I really don’t want to talk about this right now. It’s my marriage mother and I can handle it.” She smiled half heartedly, hearing the word child made her stomach drop.

Her mother just nodded like she understood, “Like I said, just think about how this is going to look. We can talk about it later. I really must get going, goodbye Violet.”

She offered her mother a wave goodbye and wandered down the hall a bit more until she was sure she was alone. With her back to the wall she slid down to the floor and rested her chin on her knees. She had worked so hard to get to where she was and now her marriage and a baby stood in her way. The thought of having a child was terrifying. How was she, of all people, supposed to be a loving and nurturing mother? She’d corrupt the poor thing before it could even walk. She didn’t know how her mother had managed to raise her, not to mention her other siblings. Violet wasn’t even sure how to connect with something so innocent and pure. Nor did she believe that Nick would make a very good father. It would be simply disastrous but what choice did she have? Her mother expected a child and soon. Sooner or later she’d have to make the decision but the conversation with Nick was one that she’d be avoiding for as long as possible. The thought of having to tell him that she wanted a baby scared her. For all she knew, he would divorce her then and there and go on fucking whatever bimbo he opened their marriage for. She wanted to scream and then go and make someone bleed. That was easy. Why couldn’t life be as easy as torture? Some persuading, some violence, maybe a little blood shed, and then it was over and she got what she wanted. Her mind wasn’t suited for thinking about babies and marriages. It was too normal and she had never in her life enjoyed being normal.

#ignore #writing #needed a link

[evasjournal]

THAT’S A WRAP

Well, it’s definitely been a few weeks and quite a lot has happened.

First of all, Christmas came early for me this year by way of what is definitely the most awesome Christmas gift I’ve ever received. A gift from Zack and myself to me – we got the Lexus. Yes, it’s true, I now drive a 2017 Lexus RX 350. That’s my car. It’s amazing! I’ve had her two weeks and a day. Already she has a few miles on her. She had 11 when I took her home, but I traveled to Ames for an ISU basketball game last week and then also back to Storm Lake for Christmas. Goodness, she is lovely though – that’s for sure. Black on black and smells of fiiiiine leather. I hope that scent never fades! Or at least I hope it sticks around long enough for Zack to appreciate it.

Getting a new car in winter though … not the greatest. It was rainy then snowy, so she’s all dirty and not shiny whatsoever. I already took her through the car wash once, but the cleanliness didn’t last. Now, among many other reasons, I’m ready for Spring so I can spend hours cleaning and waxing this baby!

I did travel back to good ol’ Storm Lake for Christmas and, yes, I did feel like a badass rolling up on my block in my brand new fucking Lexus. My dad is so proud of me for it too – he wanted to show it off on my behalf! My family was impressed with it, people made comments to my parents about it too. Needless to say, my ego was stroked. And yeah, I fucking liked that feeling.

It was nice being on  a high especially given how low the low has been recently. The last couple of weeks have been so rough, emotionally. I went through a lot of fear and uncertainty as it pertains to our marriage. I kept having this bad feeling in my core that things were changing, that we were growing distant, and that they wouldn’t be the same when he got back. That somehow, this would lead us to getting divorced! That already there were signs that were pointing in that direction. It was bad. I spent a lot of nights crying myself to sleep, crying while I journaled, and sometimes even just crying in my office whenever I would think about it. I wanted so desperately to talk about my fears and what I was feeling, but I couldn’t talk to my friends about it. But I avoided it; I just didn’t feel they could relate or understand. Jennie, bless her heart, would only give me the “feel good” advice that I want to hear instead of being as honest as she needs to be. Amy, would tell me what I need to hear – which is that I need to talk to Zack about it and I already knew that. But I was so scared to bring it up with him. Scared that it would confirm my fears, that things have changed, that we’re struggling. Scared that it just made me seem insensitive and like whiney baby to add “my feelings” on to his plate when he’s half a world away, in a damn sandbox, and in combat zone. I was just too afraid to mention it – until last week. I cracked.

It was Thursday night and I was planning on traveling back to Storm Lake Friday morning. I stayed up lter than I should have catching up on my devotional readings and journaling – and then the darkness swarmed over me and I broke down. I don’t know how long I cried for – but it was the draining, gut wrenching, really emotional sobbing that just leaves you feeling empty and defeated. I had to talk to Zack about it and since I was going to be spending a few hours the following morning driving, I figured it would be a good time for us to talk.

I messaged him and told him we needed to talk, asked him to call me if he could the following day during my drive. But I realized I’d never be able to get out what I needed to say during a phone conversation though. Mostly because I could barely think about it without crying, let alone speak about it. So I decided to start jotting down my thoughts and the notes eventually turned into full blown paragraphs. There it was all out on paper – or rather, the screen I guess since I typed it on my phone. I sent it to him. Figured it was a good start.

He called me the next morning. He said he felt caught off guard because he wasn’t expecting that. He hadn’t had those thoughts or feelings that things had changed, but he was glad I brought it up so we could work on it. He said he could and would try harder. Our talk has helped, it really has. I feel so much more at ease and at peace.

On Christmas we talked twice, for a total of almost two hours. It was wonderful. I miss him like crazy. But with the start of the new year, it’s FOUR months until he’s home. Four months! That time will fly, hopefully. He’s leaving for another base soon and will be there 3 months – 90 days! Doesn’t sound as long when you phrase it that way. Then he’ll head back to Kuwait for a month and start his journey home on or about April 20th. He’ll have to return to Belvoir for some time and then he’ll be home, home.  

I wish I could say that it’s for good, but unfortunately it isn’t. Sometime in May he’ll be back in our home, but then he leaves in June for a six week training somewhere in Missouri. Insert big disappointing sigh here. I guess I’m not even all that upset about it. I mean after spending this many months apart, what’s another six weeks? Especially when we’ll be in the same time zone! I’ll even be able to visit him while he’s there. So, overall not a big deal I guess. Plus this is so important to him; I know how badly he wants to do this so he can be promoted. If it’s important to him, it’s important to me. I’ll support him, even if it means him leaving again for some time.

As I think ahead to what will be in store for us over the next couple of months and in the new year, I have to reflect on what this year has brought. And – oh my goodness – was it a wild fucking year. A rollercoaster, really. Awesome and pretty incredible – but I don’t mean awesome and incredible in the traditional, positive sense like, “It was amazing!” I mean it in a more literal way that I am actually in awe by it and it is hard to believe all that happened over the past 12 months. Shall we recap?

To start, I went on my first trip abroad all thanks to the love of my life and it was the most amazing and memorable trip a girl could hope for. Not only did I get to travel through Italy with Zachary, but he proposed! He asked me to spend the rest of our lives together in the most beautiful and romantic place and in a city that I have been captivated by since the seventh grade – Venice ... on a gondola ride, at sunset in fucking Venice. I had a proposal straight out of a movie. If that’s not something for the books, I don’t know what is.

Fast forward to just a few weeks after our trip and come to find out that my fiancé is being deployed in a few short months. My world was turned upside down. What would this mean for us? Was our life going to be put on pause for a year while he’s away? Do we get married now before he leaves? Do we wait? Do we do just a courthouse wedding now and a ceremony later? Do I have to plan a wedding on my own? What if worst case scenario happens? What if he doesn’t come home? Why is this happening?

A few weeks after that, we make the official decision to get married before he leaves. And we also decide that will be it. We will have a tiny ceremony and a party at our house and that’s it. No fancy re-do wedding when he gets back.

On June 10th I said “I do” to the love of my life. We had the most intimate ceremony with just our immediate family and closest friends followed by a little party in our backyard. No, it wasn’t the wedding that I dreamed of, but in the end it was our story and it was absolutely perfect. I wouldn’t do it over for the world.

We spent less than a month living together as husband and wife before he left home on July 5th.

In August, I was fortunate enough to travel abroad for the second time and took a girls trip to Ireland and Scotland. It was a wonderful trip and something I will never, ever forget.

The week after I got back from Ireland, I traveled to D.C. for the first time ever to visit Zack where he was stationed. I saw the monuments and all the sights. Definitely a memorable trip as well.

In the days that followed my world got turned upside down for a second time when a routine trip to the doctor’s office turned into much more. I went through weeks of medical testing and a lot of uncertainty. I was referred to an oncologist where more testing was done. It was a cancer scare and again my whole future was called into question. Thankfully, the tests came back clean. I’m still due to follow up with the oncologist in early January for more blood work but given the results of the tests, the threat is very minimal.

I visited D.C. a second time. Zack left the country. I got a new kitten. I got a new car.

I think rollercoaster is a good word for it.

Needless to say, I’m ready for more steadiness in 2018. I welcome many more positive and up things, but the lows have been pretty shitty in 2017 so I could use a more smooth and steady year. I think it will be a big one too though, for other reasons. I have big plans and goals and things to accomplish. Yeah, the resolutions are starting again. Although I’m kind of over using that word – it just seems to have negative connotations associated with it. Is goals better?

Anyway, I’m making a list. There are a few things that I want to get done or get into the habit of doing better this year. Things I want to improve on. In addition to that, there are things that aren’t necessarily goals for me, but that I think will happen … like, say, getting pregnant? Definitely not a goal, but I think it’s in the stars for 2018.

We will see. Bring it, 2018 – I’m coming for you!

[datingadviceonreddit]

I've found myself almost fully engaged in a “friends with benefits” type deal, but heartache and confusion are changing the way it’s heading. I’m really in need of some serious advice. Little bit of backstory, I'm 19, 5'4" and before I met this person I never had a girlfriend, never had any sort of physical romantic/sexual experience with anyone, never even had my first kiss (and never came even close.) I treaded my whole life thinking there was something wrong with me, and since rejection always burned me harder than anything else. The smallest advances I made toward girls I found attractive and so on always ended with me getting my heart broken. Loneliness is something all too familiar and painful to me, I was raised by a single mother and I'm an only child. My childhood wasn't really that great. I spent a lot of time alone, I witnessed huge family fights and I used to get bullied when I was much younger (problems I’m sure everyone to some degree has endured). I feel like a generally very broken and unloved person, and I understand that love for yourself should come before loving someone else, but I've been trying for so long and sometimes I just wish I had someone to spend time with. I have lots of friends, all generally close to me but not enough for me to trust them with some of my deepest sorrows. Day after day went by where I felt lonely, yet surrounded by people I do care about. It was too much for me to live with forever. Eventually I started using apps like Tinder, Hot or Not and Skout to just look through and see if I could find anyone I could have been compatible with, but for the most part never had any hope. I tried looking for a FWB type deal, I tried to find someone who wanted to date but every single time I got very bored with the other person and stopped talking to them very quickly. I just can't approach people in person either, I'm horrible at it. I feel like I’m very awkward and I have no chance with every person I see out in public.After all that time spent alone just searching, I met this girl August of last year. She's 24, 5'7" had three sexual partners and among those three, two were her boyfriends. (Which she met through Skout) She recently (at the time) re-opened her Skout account when we first started talking because her boyfriend of nearly three years cheated on her for a very long time with her only having suspicions about it until it came true. She was seriously in love with this guy, and he contemplated marriage with her because they just clicked so well. They had a future, and a plan but he messed it all up by sleeping and ultimately dating a girl he constantly told her not to be concerned about. (And now, these two are ENGAGED.) The point of her getting Skout was to find at the very least a friend to talk to and hopefully find a friends with benefits because she felt like relationships were now pointless. I understood it completely, and started talking to her and helping her out with getting over him whenever we spoke. We added each other on Snapchat and started to talk every day (and it’s been that way since). She eventually broke the news to me that she really thought I was cute, to the point where she thought I was fake on the app. I couldn't believe it, because in my opinion she was just way out of my league and so much more attractive to even glance at someone like me. I agreed, because at the time it seemed like a fun idea. We talked on the phone for hours and hours. We built a lot of trust over time. She knows more about me than all of my friends and I know more about her than all of her friends. She even went as far as telling me her ex didn't even know as much as I do. The sexual things we have been doing have been nothing but fun, and I’ve enjoyed all of it and she has too. Even went as far as making me comparable to her previous boyfriends in a good way. Now, on some level I began to feel like this was becoming more of some kind of a relationship in my head. We’ve kissed and held hands privately and a few times in public. She even introduced me to her sisters and her parents. Her parents really like me, and I’ve spent the night at her house numerous times already and I’ve become somewhat close to her parents. We don't get bored of talking, not even close. We share absolutely everything with each other, and she's cried on the phone with me about her problems, and I've cried about mine with her too. She was even there for me when my friend's dad died. So, after all this I started to get a bit confused. At the very beginning when we were just friends, she was a little sad because she said I was "friend-zoning" her, and in a sense I knew I was subconsciously. When I initially found out she was recovering from a big breakup, I knew I had to back off. I told her I just didn't want to scare her off if I said I liked her because she was still recovering from her boyfriend. She eventually said it was okay, and from then we started talking about more sexual things leading to how we became FWB. Afterward, in December she dropped the L word. She said she loved me numerous times in snapchat, on the phone, with her friends and so on. It scared me a little, because I just didn't know what she meant by that. I said it back of course, because that's honestly how I felt at that moment.So as time went on she said that I have become her best friend, and I went on to say the same about her. She said I'm not un-dateable, and really cute and if her situation was different she wouldn't consider something else. Even in the FWB situation, she says she's not the type to "sleep around" and doesn't plan on having sex or even really talking with anyone else while doing the FWB thing. She said I do have to tell her if I choose to sleep with someone else during that situation. Now, I'm just not sure if things are the same. During the 7 months I’ve been talking to her, I’ve done many things with her outside of what I believe “friends with benefits” really do. I single handedly helped her sign up for college all the way. She was there for me every time something shitty happened at school or with my mom and was there for me every step of the way during school and learning to drive. This was starting to feel like more than a “just friends” situation. I eventually spoke up about how I felt I said that ultimately, I wanted her to know that me catching feelings is something I felt like would be inevitable. She literally said in response: "I think we're meant to be really good friends, like not to date. I think the friends thing is good enough for me. Besides we're both picking up the pieces, except I feel more shattered." She said that this was her turn to be selfish, she was too attached to her phone for three years (with her ex) and that this time she wanted to just stay out of a relationship because she thinks relationships are pointless now. She said she doesn't know when she'll feel better and she'll feel pressure knowing someone is "waiting" for her. Before me, she was talking to another guy who came off “too strong” and after a couple months talking to him she completely cut him off because of that. I know she’s still upset about her ex too. The level of damage he did to her is still there. This was the first time I brought up the idea of dating.The other day, she messaged me on Snapchat saying "I'm feeling nervous. I think I'm starting to get too attached." I told her it was okay, and if she needed me to back off, I would. She said that I shouldn't. She said that she felt like she was leading me on and felt like a “jackass.” This only messed with my emotions even more if anything. Things are changing now, and we are hanging out a lot more than before. Recently, (since I am still young) my mom actually grounded me over a small fight we had over one of our cars. She took my phone and all my other technology. That day, my friend got really worried had an anxiety attack and struggled looking for me. Eventually when I got my stuff back I called her up and she let me know she didn’t want me to ever leave. She later, said this to me: “The only reason why I don’t do anything in public like you’re your hand or kiss or whatever is because I don’t want to—because it becomes real. Like you’re not my friend anymore, you’re like a thing thing and that scares me. ‘Cause I’m not even close to being there. And I wanna be your friend…like forever. You can’t ever leave me.” I’m becoming attached to her, I just know it. I would even go as far as saying that at this point I do in fact have strong feelings for her. She has all the features and personality that I would really like to see in a girlfriend. Recently, a couple of her friends asked about how she and I were doing. She stated that both of us were not looking to date and that she just planned on being FWB and that's all. One of her friends suggested that she should date me because I am going to be crushed if she goes on to find another guy, and the other said basically that it was unrealistic to expect me to be a good friend of hers when she dates another guy and because she was my first "everything." This bothered her a lot and so she told me about it. I acted like it didn't bother me and just said that I was okay. Most recently, I hung out with her family and her for three days straight and even went on a small road trip with her and her parents. We still did sexual things during my time over there but also did family oriented things as well like watching movies and eating together. Something seemed off on the last day. After the two of us got done watching a movie, she said she was still being bugged by what her friends said and started crying. She said she was freaking out because I'm super affectionate (which I really didn't realize until she said it) with the way I rub her and touch her, and she said it sucks because she's gone cold to all of that. She said she just can't trust anyone, and it’s not just a "me thing" but that she is still not ready to even think about dating someone. I already knew this. She still cries and deeply misses her ex, even after he did her wrong. She did however, state clearly that she would never take him back. I knew she wasn't ready, and I knew that I was starting to get major feelings for her. I finally let her know, and I couldn't help myself but cry with her when we talked about the whole thing. I just wanted to know for sure I was never the reason she didn't want to date. She said all this time, hanging out with me she never once looked at me like a boyfriend, and I'll admit it hurt to know that. I told her that all this time I've been secretly wondering and hurting myself trying to avoid telling her how much I liked her because I didn't want to ruin anything. She told me once again that she didn't want to ever lose me as a friend and she doesn't know when she'll be ready to date again or if it will ever happen. She said that everyone waiting on her will be waiting a very long time. She decided we should take a break from talking for a day for me to figure out things. This didn’t last long and she ended up messaging me shortly after, the next day asking if I was okay. At this point I was feeling like I needed answers. She said that she never should have kissed me, or held hands because she had no idea how I was interpreting it. She said straight up to me “I love you as a friend (blank), but that’s all you’ll ever be.” I was a little upset by this, and so I asked her more that if that’s the truth then it must not JUST be the fact that she claims she’s “not ready for a relationship.” I told her to stop sugar coating it and to tell me what else was bothering her about me. She got a little mad, and asked me to stop getting her to unintentionally hurting me. I said I needed to know the truth. She said back “The age difference, the fact that you don’t present yourself in an assertive manner and your level of confidence you have for yourself…I just don’t see it. I really just wanted a friend. I basically dealt with a death and I’m not over him. He still has my heart. You helped me through so much, but it’s like for you to sit there and secretly wonder and hoping I was going to date you eventually is not okay. As for the benefits part of our friendship, we can’t do that anymore. I still want you around me and my family, but this image you have of us needs to die or it will drive you crazy because WE will never be.” This killed me, and I acted like it didn’t. I realize now that my confidence is an issue, but I only told her about it because I deeply trusted her. I didn’t mind feeling self-conscious in front of her because I thought she was accepting of that. I said I was happy to have my answer (which was partially true). We hung out again the next day, and even though she said we’d stop doing the “benefits” I continued with her, and she has as well completely. I talked to her about it and said that I was glad to know the truth, and that she was rejecting me and she went on to say “But, I never rejected you!” I asked how that could be and she said “Because a rejection is a flat-out no.” What the hell does she mean? It sounds like a rejection to me. I began to open my old dating apps again and she re-opened her Skout and says she’s just looking for “friends” again because her boyfriend made her cut off all her old guy friends that she used to have. She said she’s still not looking to date anyone, and yet she’s on the app again. She said she’s not looking for a “new FWB” either. This is all just very confusing. I’ve continued so far to stay by her side, but I need advice. I still have feelings, but I’m controlling them for now. I want to at least have more of the “benefits” part before I call a quits on this whole thing. I’m thinking in June, when she goes off to school and has a job to balance as well for 5 out of 7 days of the week, I’ll go no-contact with her. She claims she wants me to be here forever and that I’m her best friend, but can’t date me and then says she’s not rejecting me either. If I go no contact, I’m going to calmly let her know that this is to give her space and let her plan before I get hurt again. I’m hoping deep down that it’s not going to be goodbye forever, but if she can’t see me as anything more I cannot do any of this forever. I won’t. I seriously need advice, if I’m making a bad decision I need to know. I just can’t hurt myself forever. I wouldn’t mind waiting for her on some level, but in the meantime I will be looking around for other girls now at the same time. tl;dr A girl who I was originally planning to be friends with benefits is clearly becoming more than that, and I'm the only one who is getting hurt by it. We've been "talking" for about 7 months. I really like her, and I finally told her but she kept saying she just can't date right now. When I finally asked her to stop sugar coating her answer, she basically rejected me but claims she didn’t. She says she's not ready over and over and then tells me she never wants me to leave her side as a "best friend." I need help, desperately. via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit