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himimosa · 8 months

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when they are sick

taking care of bsd men when they are sick...

fyodor, kunikida, dazai

Fyodor Dostoevsky

He is the person who walks around sick for almost half of a year, with a lot of sniffs and sneezes. Somehow he can manage to catch a cold even in summer. You say it is because he has an awful immune system

He already has anemia that makes his body weak. And if a bad cold is added too, he becomes almost pathetic...

If you ask him, he says he is used to being sick most of the time, but that is not true. He tried to take pills a few times for his anemia but they were useless (no, i am not self-projecting here, nope)

Most of the time, he can pull to do his work even if that means carrying tissues with him everywhere.

He hates the times when he got extra bad cold, it causes delays in his work. He is not someone who will accept to see a doctor even though his fever runs high. So if you're going to accompany him, you have to use more conventional ways...

You know hot soup, warm shower, herbal teas... He will act like you are being too "histrionic" and he is doing fine, but he will appreciate it secretly...

You put a mix of mint and linden leaves into the french press, added a tiny piece of ginger, and then poured hot water. After you waited for a while you poured out the liquid through a strainer. You had chosen your fav “I like mugs because they’re very comfortable in your hand” mug for it.

You entered the room where Fyodor was laying, he was trying to read a book but he was coughing constantly. You pulled the book from his hands: "Please drink this and rest a little. I am sure your book can wait for you." you scolded him lightly. He didn't argue with you, which was a sign that he was really feeling bad.

He took the mug, and looked at the writing on it "I don't understand why this is written on a mug" You chuckled "Because either you don't have a sense of humor or you have never heard Demi Lovato before dear.."

"Is it really an inadequacy of me that I don't get the references from the pop culture that was brought to people by no one but-"

"Darling darling..." you interrupted him "You can talk for hours about fatuity of popularism later, but I am begging you, drink this tea. now..."

He was annoyed by your interruption but he complied with your request. He sniffed before taking a sip. Then his face turned into a disgusted expression.

"Did you put ginger in this tea?.."

Kunikida Doppo

This poor man will go through the 5 stages of grief in order...

Denial: "I am not sick, I just got shivers for a second! This doesn't mean anything!" "No, I don't look awful or tired, I am fine!"

Anger: "This is because of that Dazai asshole! That nasty bastard sneezed right into my face and contaminated me with his viruses!"

Bargaining: "...Okay some inconveniences might happen but it's not that bad", "I will drink this tea and get better in an instant. No, I don't need a break, I will be fine"

Depression: "... What will happen to the agency if I use two days off?" "...my program... I will be left behind on it.."

Acceptance: "..President, may I use two days off to recover?"

He knew it is natural to get sick for people... But it wasn't written in his ideals book... He must add some notes about this too...

All he wants is quickly recover and get back to his responsibilities. So he will see a doctor, he will take his medicines, will drink all the herbal tea he needs to drink...You don't have to do much indeed, he is someone who takes care of himself well. But this doesn't mean he won't appreciate it if you do some thoughtful things for him...

"I'm home" you called to him when you entered the house with your keys. You dropped the bags that you got from the grocery store to the kitchen. You could organize them later, you went right ahead to the room where Kunikida was resting. He tried to get up to greet you but you acted quicker and hugged him while he was still sitting. He froze for only one second, then slowly wrapped his arms around you

"Y/N... You shouldn't be this close to me, you will get sick too..." He murmured but didn't push you away too. You shrugged your shoulders while still hugging him "Then I will use a day off with my sick boyfriend, that doesn't seem so bad to me" Kunikida chuckled lightly "If we both use a day off at the same time, I can't imagine what sort of chaos would the agency have..." Then he slowly pulled himself back to see you eye-to-eye and started to ask you questions... How is the agency going? Were budget calculations accurate? Have you taken new cases? What kind of ruckus did Dazai cause when he wasn't around to lecture him? How many calls did you get for his suicide attempts this time?

You told him about how you took care of everything on his behalf with everyone's help (well mostly with the help of Atsushi, Kyoka, Kenji, and Tanizaki siblings... basically with minors of Ada...) But even Dazai wasn't acting so "wild". He was whining about how the agency became too quiet and no-fun without Kunikida and all the joy he got from work vanished without Kunikida...

"Everyone can't wait to get you better love they are planning to visit you tomorrow night," you told with a smile. Kunikida coughed and covered his mouth, then mumbled: "I see..." You knew he did it to hide the light blush and embarrassed smile on his face, but you didn't tease him for it. After all, he was deserving it all...

Dazai Osamu

Here comes the drama king...

First, let's be honest here... He is treating his own body like shit... We saw him in his flat, this man doesn't even cook for himself. He literally feeds with sake and canned crabs only... Despite that, he doesn't get sick easily. He has the durability of a cockroach (i swear i love him, these insults are with affection)

He is the kind of person who doesn't get sick even there is a cold season and everyone around him got ill. He catches the sickness not more once than a year, but when he gets ill, it is always the most unexpected time.

Once, while he was still in the port mafia he got a very bad cold right before an important mission. When Mori saw his situation, he had to cancel the mission.

Because this man acts like he is on the deathbed when he is sick...

"So I made some research on the internet... With all these symptoms on me; either I have some kind of chronic illness, or brain tumor.. which leads us to the conclusion that I have only 2 weeks to live..." "Or, you have a cold, you shithead.." "Do not act like you are a doctor now Chuuya, or I will throw up to your precious hat..."

He didn't change much... The only difference is now he is being your boyfriend, you have to take care of this man like you are taking care of a child. He will act like he is much worse than he is to get all your affection and care... You will need a lot of patience, to be honest...

"Ew, there is no way I would drink that crap!" You thought for a millisecond to throw the bowl of soup to his face but you didn't have the heart for it. Even though he was acting like a spoiled brat, he was miserable right now. You knew he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday morning, you had to convince him to put something in his stomach no matter what...

"Why don't you want to drink this babe?" you asked with your sweetest tone. Dazai shrugged his shoulders "It smells bad, makes me want to puke..." You tried again "What if you push yourself? Just a little? I know it doesn't look appetizing but this soup is too good for cold, you will feel better after your drink I promise..."

Dazai looked at you with defeated eyes, he couldn't resist any longer "..fine then"

With excitement, you took one spoon from the bowl and carefully held it towards his mouth, you were cupping the other hand under the spoon to keep it from spilling. Dazai slowly opened his mouth, only to make a sour face "It is too hot!"

"Sorry baby, my bad" you apologized and started to cool it down by stirring it with the spoon. You took another spoon from the bowl, this time you blew a little air before giving it to Dazai. When he started to make some teasing comments on you would be a great nanny, you decided he was already getting better. You tried to get up after he finished his soup, but Dazai held you weakly by his wrist. "You won't leave me alone on my deathbed, right?" You rolled your eyes: "You're an idiot, you know that right?" He smirked lightly "But I am your idiot, and you still love me..." You couldn't control your smile this time. You gently removed the hair on his forehead and gave him a little peck "Yeap... Only mine to love..."

well, i couldn't still get over from this week's episode and couldnt't write anything new. this was on the drafts and not proof readed, but i will still share it. fyodor stans can use it as a denial of ep 11 :')

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jq37 · 1 month

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I think the wildest part about the Porter isn't that he's evil. As you've said, Brennan's been hinting at Porter being evil this season for a while now, so while it's still shocking, it's not surprising, if you get what I'm saying.

No, it's the fact that this has always been the plan and not something that was reconned in this season. Like, we all thought this was just Brennan taking the bit to its logical conclusion, but no, this has been a reveal five years in the making...

And Emily figured it out Day fucking One by sheer accident!

Yeah for me the thing that floored me wasn't the reveal because that's been on the table for a while now. It was when Brennan said he'd been holding on to it for five years.

Because I even an amazing DM like Brennan can't plan EVERYTHING in advance. Like, the Night Yorb was obviously an addition purely based on the fact that Murph anagrammed Garthy of Brian looking for clues. And I can't imagine Gilear was ever meant to be anything other than a 4 HP divorcee. The Night Yorb fight and Gilear's curse are both pretty clear instances of Brennan running with a bit and working it into the story. But he said he's been sitting on this for FIVE YEARS. Since Freshman year!

I would even be less shocked if he said since Sophmore Year because there is that weird conversation with him, Jace, and Arianwen that finally came up this ep that was never resolved. But since Freshman year? That's nuts!

Second Edit: I am untethered to the passage of time and did my math to figure out when 5 years ago was incorrectly lol. Still impressed Brennan sat on this for so long but 5 years means since Soph Year not Freshman Year. See the replies for me realizing I did my math wrong last night.

If he's not exaggerating then, imo, it's pretty incredible to have this much lore in the back pocket with regard to NPCs that aren't even necessarily factoring into your main story that much. I wonder if this is akin to Mr. Gibbons (dude Aguefort killed to rez Gorgug in ep 2) just being evil and it never being explored but Brennan having had it in his notes. Does he just have a list of 3-5 other evil plots simultaneously happening in the background ready to be stumbled onto or just the general vibes of which teachers are shady?

And, as a sometimes DM, the last time I ran a full length campaign, literally before the game even started--like during Session Zero--I had my BBEG guessed offhandedly by a player just based on her name which wasn't any different from the other names I listed as part of background info and I just went through all the stages of grief internally and then pressed on without changing anything because of Story Integrity. Anyway my point is that it happens and as a DM it is WILD when it does.

Anyway, I am SO excited for the AP tomorrow. Brennan, you better not hold anything back I am SO curious about your DM machinations!

(Edit: Equally excited for Emily's reaction. Adaine is the diviner of the party and, evidently, Emily is the diviner of the table. WILD.)

(Second Edit:

#brwolf1995 #asks #fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 #spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 spoilers

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slvt4em1lyprenti2s · 11 months

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Nurses United Against Mark Sloan

Originally posted on my Wattpad @MayaBishop_is_myWife

Warning: Implied NSFW, nothing more Word count: 725 (including A/N)

Marks POV: Oh wow. They really do hate me. I've just been introduced to a club called 'Nurses United Against Mark Sloan' I thought they liked the sex? Oh well, I have my eyes on one nurse and one nurse only. Y/n y/l/n. She's beautiful and amazing with patients, double whammy. Rumour had it she's single as well so, I'm gunna try get her to fall for me. Notice how I said fall for me and not get in bed with me? See, I'm a changed man.

As I'm walking to my surgery I see my favourite nurse, y/l/n. Mark - "Hey y/n, quick question your not a part of that club are you? The uhm Nurses Hate Mark Sloan or something?" Y/N - "First of all, it's Nurses United Against Mark Sloan and no, I am not. How could I hate you, come on?" Mark - "See, and that's why your my favourite." Y/N - "Aww, I'm your favourite nurse? How cute." Mark - "Don't be a tease, anyway I've got a surgery to get to but I expect to see you at rounds." Y/N - "Yes Doctor." Mark - "I like it when you call me Doctor." Y/N - "Oh do you?" Mark - "Yeah I do, I really do but, I've got a surgery to get to so, I'll see you at rounds." I flash her a smile before I leave. God, I'm practically in love with a woman i've barley shared 4 full conversations with. This could go wrong.

Y/N POV: I've been feeling a pair of eyes on me all day but I keep brushing it off because I think I know exactly who it is. We've been on and off flirting and stealing glances and touches for weeks now but he never makes a move. In a way i'm glad because hopefully that means he want me, like actually wants me, not just the sex. So, I'm planning on asking him out after rounds and hopefully get a date.

Time skip

I've just finished rounding with Dr. Sloan and now I'm filling out charts trying to get a word in when he's rambling about the surgery he just did. If I'm completely honest, it's adorable. I love seeing him get excited about his job, it shows he cares. Once he realises I'm not really listening he speaks up. Mark - "Okay, I know, not that interesting to you I'll stop talking now." Y/N - "No! Please keep going I just need to ask you something once your finished." Mark - "Is it something about post-op treatment?" Y/N - "No more of a personal question." Mark - "Shoot." Y/N - "Wanna grab a drink at Joe's after your shift?" His face went through the five stages of grief in 5 seconds I swear. He looked shocked at first but then more confused and then just really happy. Like smiling ear to ear happy. Now he's just got a smug smirk plastered across his face. Mark - "You want to go out with me? Like get in my pants?" Y/N "No, like an actual date. If you want to of course just because we've been kinda close these past couple weeks and you know I just thought maybe you might wanna go." As I was rambling and trying to explain myself he put his hand on my arm to calm me down. Mark - "Hey, hey, hey slow down. I didn't say no did I?" At this point I was the one grinning like an idiot. I looked deep into his eyes looking for any signs that he was lying but I found none. He pulled me into his warm embrace and I just stood there for a bit with his arms wrapped around my torso and my head in his chest. He pulled away slightly so he could see my face. Mark - "You're cute when you're nervous. My shift finishes in 10, I'll meet you in the lobby?" Y/N - "Of course."

I walked to the locker room beaming. I really just got a date with McSteamy. At that point I didn't realise this but, that man was a smitten kitten and would ask me to marry him one day. I love Mark, my Mark.

#mark sloan #mark sloan x reader #greys anatomy #greys anatomy fanfiction

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toomanyfandoms11 · 29 days

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Background on the Tim hiring Deathstroke thing in this https://www.tumblr.com/toomanyfandoms11/749474013724721152/toomanyfandoms

In my little universe that I like to maladaptive daydream in basically, Janet Drake, Slade Wilson, and Wade Wilson are all siblings.

Janet is the oldest child, and thefore according to family tradition the only child that cannot legally be linked to any crime (plz ask me about the Drake family lore. Also, Jack was the one killed by Captain Boomerang ), Slade and Wade are twins, (their father had a sense of humor and their mother was too out of it to complain.)

, and bear the title of murder uncles. Getting to the Joker bit: when Jason was being killed by the Joker, Tim was on a “family holiday”(training trip) to upstate New York (X-Mansion, most of the X-Men were too afraid to ask about the 10 year old that followed Deadpool around except for Wolverine, who taught him how to skin a moose, and Madelyne Pryor for some reason) and as a result did not learn about his death until about a month or so after it happened. When Tim learned about his death he decided to wait a bit for Batman to settle down, thinking that he just needed to get the anger stage of grief out of the way and then he would go to therapy like a normal person. Tim was the sort of kid that would read the picture books about getting over grief when he was waiting in the doctors office. Unfortunately, there were no picture books about superhero phycology. After about few months, Batman showing no signs of stopping and expressing his grief like a normal person, Nightwing finding out about Jason’s death through a newspaper tabloid and the two of them having an argument on top of the Gcpd station that was live-streamed by anyone with a phone and became headline news for a week, Tim decided to take matters into his own hands and hire his current favorite uncle (Wade had recently given him a pair of socks as a gift instead of the forensics book he wanted) and ask him politely (blackmail him with the time Slade had given him coffee while babysitting) to kill the Joker, “Pretty please Uncle Slade? I’ll make you cookies!” Slade accepted this offer and went (with no small amount of glee/relief) to finally put a bullet through that waste of carbon’s skull. But, alas, Paul Verlaine (King of Assassins, Executive in the Port Mafia, Ex-Titans member and former boyfriend of Nightwing) got there first. After this, Tim’s story goes the route you would expect (with a twist~). After one too many times of Batman putting criminals in the ICU instead of talking to a therapist, Tim decides enough is enough and goes to Nightwings apartment in Bludhaven to ask him to arrange an intervention for Batman with the Justice League, or he will release Batman and Nightwings identity’s to the public. Dick Grayson, after hearing this, dose not go “This seems like Bruce’s problem” and drop him off at the Batcave. He instead goes “who’s sassy lost child is this”, has the Bat-adoption gene arise for the first time, and decides that he will adopt this child who ran around Gotham alone stalking Batman and Robin, or die trying. Janet, after talking with the man who drove her child back from Bludhaven at 4:30 am, is slightly leaning towards the second option, but she knows that A. Jack is a terrible father, and while she tries her best, she is also not winning mom of the year anytime soon and B. Shared custody is a thing. And so, after 3 sword fights (one for each Drake-Wilson sibling), 5 panicked calls to Alfred about “Holy frick I’m turning into Bruce”, many late nights studying “how do I parent a 10 year old”, 1 realization of “holy **** I really do want to be a parent”, and a very well paid lawyer ( Matt Murdock), Dick Grayson becomes the legal parent of a one Timothy Drake, with the media explanation (that is true, but deleteing the superhero parts) being that Janet and Jack realized that they could not be the parents the Tim deserved to have, and that Dick Grayson could. (They got alternating weekends and cultural holidays (Jack is Chinese). After a month or so, Dick takes Tim to meet Bruce (Dick did the intervention thing, it took the combined forces of Superman, Wonder Woman, Black Canary, Alfred, and Catwoman to get him to go to therapy.) and in the meeting Tim cheerfully reveals that A. He had figured out Batman and Robins secret identities when he was 9 (He went to a gala that the Wayne’s were at, and Dick did a quadruple somersault off of a chandelier that Tim remembered Nightwing doing) and B. He once hacked into Shield on accident when he was looking for a website that had a show he liked on it

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point-8 · 1 year

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SAY IT! FEAT:diluc, kaeya and zhongli

DILUC

okay...he doesn't get it

he goes through all 5 stages of grief before you tell him that it was just a prank

he thinks pranks are pointless

didn't find it funny 🥲 "are you working in the tavern tonight luc'?" you were both getting ready, it was your day off so you were still in bed, having plans on returning to sleep once he left. diluc was in his base layer of clothing, a simple white collared shirt, and some black pants. "i should be...so ill be home late. don't stay up" diluc was now moving onto the second layer of his work attire, a dark vest with gold-color buttons. "wasn't planning on it, plus i might go have dinner with a friend tonight, so ill be in town if you need me tonight." he looked so handsome in the full-size mirror buttoning up the vest as he stole glances back at you. and soon enough you crashed back into the soft duvet and tried to get back to sleep "darling ill be off, i love you." he walked over to the bed, expecting a groggy 'i love you too' , but he heard nothing. diluc knew you were awake, nobody could fall asleep that fast. seeing your slight smile, he knew you were up to something. "i love you?" he tried to lightly shake you, seeing if you were just half-asleep and couldn't respond. but instead of an 'i love you too' he just got a little laughter "what's so funny? do you not return my feelings anymore?" "you really can't take a prank luc'?!" you sat up from bed, wrapping your arms around him "of course i love you too, how could i not?" you just heard him huff which, in turn, made you smile a bit "you're getting too much like kaeya" you heard him quietly grumble, but you knew he couldn't stay mad at you for long.

KAEYA

he'll just do it back to you

he knows it's a prank, you're a little to obvious

kaeya always knows ways for him to get back at you, if thats making you pay or just doing the same thing to you, he will always get you back "tonight was really fun kaeya, thank you!" you two were walking hand-in-hand back to the shared house. it was overall a great night, kaeya took you to dinner and then walked you around mondstat, showing you secret places only knights knew about. "of course it was, you spent it with me." with a slight chuckle, he grabbed you closer as you walked up the steps and unlocked the door "god..im so tired" kaeya groaned and whined as he crashed on the couch to catch his breath and rest his eyes. "im gonna get changed ok?" you went down and kissed his forehead as the bluenette hummed in agreement. and five minutes later, you hear footsteps making their way up the stairs. not even caring to shower. he just stripped down to his boxers and jumped into bed with you. "you're disgusting." you slightly pushed his head away "but you still love me, don't you?" he managed to get closer to your face and pulled your cheeks, cooing at you "kaeya im not a baby, stop" you swat his hands away and got back into your former position to fall asleep. "well in that case, i love you darling see you in the morning." he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, resting his head in the corner of your neck. "i said i love you." he grumbled, you could tell he was tired too "i don't love people who smell" "fine then, i don't love bitches." you let out a gasp as he took his hands off you and rolled to the other side of the bed, leaving you slightly cold. "god.. fine kaeya i love you too." now it was your turn to deal with his bullshit, and he wasn't going to give up anytime soon.

ZHONGLI

someone please help him

you have to walk him through every single joke you make

this man has some accent ass humor tf

he would take it to heart if you don't say you love him (please make him feel better rn) stirring from your sleep, you heard footsteps, doors opening and closing, and running water. you never knew why zhongli got up so early, it was just a habit. it's not like you minded, at this hour anyone could fall asleep so easily. checking the clock above the dresser. the hands pointed to 4 and 9...it was 4:45 you groaned and tucked your head back under the blankets as you heard the water turn off and zongli enter the room again. "did i wake you?" "no no" you answered from under the blankets, voice groggy since it hadn't been used in a few hours "just woke up on accident, you keep doing what you were doing." "well, in that case, would you like to go on a walk with me this morning? it's lovely outside. all the flowers are blooming" the thought of even moving seemed miserable "it's good for health, it gets blood moving-" "maybe later?" you were already getting ready to head back to sleep. and going on a walk with him was a death trap, all he would do is take loops around and tell you every memory that happened. "well then. ill be on my way darling, i love you" he walked over and pushed your hair back to give you a kiss. then just waited above you. "what?" you said, opening your eyes to look at him, stifling a burst of laughter "have your feelings gone away for me y.n? you usually say i love you back. have i done something to upse-" "zhongli...it was a prank" "how is that a prank? you just sounded like i've made you upset." "it's funny though." "no it's not" "ok dear, i love you too" you took him into a big hug to wish him off, also as an apology. but once that door was closed, you busted out laughing. zhongli might've been one of the densest men you've ever met in your whole life. but it was also cute.

HELP BRO I HAVENT POSTED IN LIKE A MONTH PLEASE FORGIVE ME anws school is almost out (kms) if anyone has any requests pleaasssseee send them in im running out of ideas😭

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cureobsession · 2 years

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𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 ?

summary: your best friend finds the scars. how they feelin?

cw: various stages of cleanliness, self harm, modest levels of angst, toxic relationships, modern au.

note: self harm comfort fanfic is a shriveled and dying medium. i will do my best to revive it. also platonic comfort hell yeah.

wc: 1.8k

includes: Childe, Lisa, Kazuha

Childe

mother fucker. the warning signs had been there as long as he could remember. you, his good friend (understatement, best friend in the entire world), had been struggling with the forbidden jutsu: self harm.

what was he to do in this situation really? how could he approach you about the issue when his method of finding out was so unethical. all he had wanted was to do some snooping. figure out what silly crushes you were having on classmates that he'd never consider good enough and tease the absolute fuck out of you over it.

instead? childe felt nothing but pain. he went through the three stages of grief (laughing, crying, AND throwing up) in a matter of 5 seconds.

he had seen your diary tucked away with the rest of your notebooks a while ago, and when you invited him over to hang out, well you can guess what happened.

or rather you didnt HAVE to guess anything. Coming back from the kitchen with snacks in hand, you almost couldn't believe the sight before you.

a bundle of ruffled orange hair leaning in to a scribbler so deeply it would surprise you if the words were even legible. problem being, it was your personal scribbler. you know, the one that contained ALL of your screwed up secrets and detailed many relapses you didn't even want to think about.

"you can not be fucking SERIOUS right now. invasion of privacy!" you screeched, running over to him and snatching it right out of his hands. well he was serious. absolutely, 100%, without a doubt serious.

the man wasn't even phased by your panic. he just looked at you in complete shock and asked whether or not you were doing all right.

with the face he was making, all you could do was grumble out something along the line of "yeah you dumb idiot if you had just checked the god damn dates-" but your complaints were quickly muffled when the red head tackled you in a hug.

well shit, there go the chips and popcorn you'd been holding during this small ordeal. still, his arms were warm, so you decided to ignore the mess at your feet and enjoy his tight embrace.

"im sorry" childe said after pulling away, internally cursing himself for going overboard. he cleaned the floor, payed you back the approximate 4$ of food he had ruined (though you had insisted to him it was alright), then he scooped you up and carried you down to the kitchen. it was time for fine dining.

the planned movie night had devolved into childe going ham in the kitchen and you sitting on the counter controlling the music.

he had said a few things about being there for you whenever you needed, that he was worried, that he cared about you, all the usual shit you'd heard a million times from movies, ted talks, fanfiction, and even google when you searched something a bit too concerning for them to let you see the results.

as much as you had trouble expressing it, you appreciated childes actions, speeches on your importance and other random shit he did in attempts to cheer you up.

after the meal, the two of you headed up stairs. you taking the bed for yourself while childe slept on a sleeping bag on the floor. he was weirdly insistent about you being comfortable, hell you even slept on the bed at his house. seriously, it wouldn't be a hassle for you to brave the floor for a night, but whatever. he cares about you too damn much.

just when two were finally calming down, he rolled over towards you with a knowing smirk and whispered "really though? scaramouche? that guy is such a tool."

all you could do was sputter. he was on thin ice right now. thin fucking ice.

Lisa:

people overlooked lisa for the sole reason that she was a librarian. they thought she was a boring lady obsessed with books and nothing more, spending all her time getting pissed at people who never returned their things on time.

in reality, only one of those statements were true, and lisa was so much more than you could ever describe. it all started one night when you were studying for your exams.

you and lisa had been the only ones at the library at such an hour, thus leading to an unforgettable meeting. you because you never lived down the embarrassment, and her because you were such an incredible friend and she was happy to have you in her life she loved to joke about it.

studying mental break downs, hot coffee spills and utter idiocy aside, the two of you had become inseperable ever since. lisa would tell you every individual detail about the jean girl she was pining over and eventually you started doing the same. you would experience every movie, concert or documentary with her, even if she never stopped talking during them.

things were going incredible. until a man came into your life and fucked everything up. you thought he would be good for you, god knows your self confidence was lower than a giant isopod in the sea, so the idea of anybody showing interest in you was, in your mind, unheard of.

the relationship was short, but call this fucker a dps because he ruined everything as quickly as he could. he was never polite on your dates, routinely showing up late, eyeing other people and never once offering to pay the bill. it was when he tried to have sex with you though, that things really fell apart.

sure people had seen your scars before, but no one had ever reacted like him. he stared at your naked body in absolute disgust, told you to get dressed, and kicked you out of his apartment.

that's how you ended up on lisa's sofa, a warm fire dancing in the fireplace, a blanket tucking you in, and a hot chocolate she had forced you to drink instead of the copious amounts of alcohol you had planned.

when you finally managed to tell her what happened, lisa was straight up furious. you could SEE her face getting redder and redder, smoke coming out of her ears like an actual cartoon character.

taking a deep breath, she focused on what was more important here: you

"babe" she said quietly. "can i see them". this was your chance at finally being able to wear shorts and t shirts around her. ever the opportunist, you agreed.

pulling back the cloth that hid them, lisa couldn't help but wince at the scars decorating your skin, most white and pink, but some red, brown or purple.

"all colors shapes and sizes" you joked weakly. an A for effort i suppose.

all the girl could do was pull you into a hug, tearing up for a few minutes and whispering how much you meant to her directly into your ear.

WILL read you a bed time story and WILL smooth her hand over your healed scars comfortingly.

believe me when i say she dialed the human scumbag, asked him out on a date the next day, and beat the fuck out of him in the back alley of whatever cafe they were meant to be eating at. lisa takes no shit, she knows your worth and so should you.

Kazuha:

you came to know him from kindergarten, and like children do, fought a lot. good thing is, it only brought the two of you closer. you knew each other like the back of your own hands. thing was, kazuha lost sight of parts of you during highschool.

you, in all your infinite wisdom, were experiencing severe mental pain, and took it out on your body whenever things got out of control.

your family forced you into therapy, and for much of the summer, you attended diligently. it was unfortunate, but you never saw him once.

then university happened. a time of great stress and upheaval. after a bit too much time online, you had developed a sense of humor about your mental issues, even if your "I can be trusted with sharp objects shit" got you weird looks at time.

it was just another day in the life of someone with self harm scars. with it being summer, you wore shorts, t shirts, and whatever else it took to keep you from burning to death. people stared at you as you walked down the halls. you genuinely could not care less. what were they going to do? heal them? reverse your years of teenage suffering? find the cure to depression? i think not.

yeah you were still miserable at times. you felt like you were going to relapse when things got tough, but you were better now. you could handle it.

you saw kazuha again, both of you enrolled in similar medical classes. even after months apart, you two clicked back together right away. it was kind of awkward though with the amount of uh. texture on your legs and arms. it was obvious he wanted to talk about it but wasn't quite sure how to do so.

people you didn't know seeing your scars was no big deal. you didn't care what they thought, for all you could tell, they were NPCs, but kazuha? this was a whole separate issue.

he had been close with you for so long and had done so much for you. you felt like your scars were telling him he wasn't enough. time to lighten the mood a bit. no use in such a depressing conversation on the first day of school.

"i was practing last year" you explain the next time you catch your platinum blonde (how he got it that color was a mystery to you) friend glancing at your forearms. "always wanted to be a surgeon" he looks stunned for a second before laughing lightly and responding "you are ridiculous" with a shake of his head.

good enough. it was almost a relief kazuha didn't make a big deal out of things. the rest of the day continued as usual, walk to class, take notes, read etc. all that boring school stuff, until finally it was time to go back to your dorm.

little did you know, your fellow med school attendee had an evil suprise for you. don't doubt the fact that he would write some "your skin isn't paper, so don't cut it" type poem and slide it under your door.

lucky for you, one of his dude bros told him that, according to his intuition, the note was not the move.

instead he showed up to your dorm around supper time with a basket full of baked goods, tea, flowers and a cute stuffed animal. "damn you went all out. the fuck is the occasion?" you laughed when he entered the room. who kazuha was trying to woo this time was unknown to you, but his over the top gestures never failed to make you giggle.

he shook his head with a smile and shoved the basket into your arms. "look i know you're strong enough to take care of yourself but its hard sometimes. this university shit isn't going to be easy." he pauses to swing a few punches at an invisible target, and hop from foot to foot quickly. "so you better talk to me the second you start feeling sad. I'll get rid of those emotions as soon as they appear".

you almost started sobbing at the doorway. get you a man like kazuha. I know he'd treat you right.

still, you hoped he hadn't spent time watching boxing matches for this breif charade. his impressions were a bit too realistic for comfort.

#genshin fanfic #genshin headcanons #genshin impact #lisa minci #kazuha #childe #childe x reader #kazuha x reader #lisa x reader #genshin fluff #genshin comfort #genshin hcs #tartaglia #genshin x you #platonic #platonic genshin x reader

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apotelesmaa · 5 months

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I lovvvve thinking about dtk and black star like way past the manga (assuming black star is immortal here via him becoming a god out of sheer force of will) dealing with immortality and losing their friends it’s so fascinating to me (statements said by the truly deranged)…. Rotating it in my mind… Incomprehensible rambling under the read more

I think that like objectively kid would probably be the most prepared for it given he’s a literal death god but it would still be painful. He’s not really human but he had the very human experience of growing up with a tight group of friends and now has to deal with the very human emotion of grief and figure out how to navigate that. I feel like he would (shockingly) have a pretty healthy response after a few years of grieving because unlike with his dad he would actually get closure here. Idk if he would ever get another weapon partner again though like he would probably at least use whatever high ranking weapon at dwma was closest on the very rare chance he needed one but nobody could ever replace the thompsons. I feel like he would also just have little reminders of his friends everywhere just to keep them in his memory.

I see a lot of people saying he would withdraw completely and distance himself from humanity but like… I don’t think he would ever do that the thing about kid that really differentiated him from his dad was he was raised with humans and interacted with them frequently which fostered a connection that lord death didn’t really have. He in general has such a love for humanity and people I feel like he would be very involved at the dwma with the students and faculty. Lord death was kinda like… he Liked humans but he still viewed himself as something else first and foremost. Kicking the can of worms that was asura down the road for later never telling anyone anything because it’s a god problem not a problem for humans. He made zero effort to talk to the witches as well because he kinda just went “well they’re all evil and that’ll never change” & never confronted that belief. As opposed to dtk who went to the witches to help and put all his faith in his friends and relied on them heavily. He Likes People… He still would want to talk to the humans around him and help them. I cannot see him doing what his dad did and just locking himself in the death room forever and ever. Nothing will replace his friends but that doesn’t mean he can’t make new friends.

Black star however I think would handle it poorly for a long time I don’t think he knows what healthy coping mechanisms are. He’s very all or nothing. Only deals in extremes. Stuck in the anger stage of grief for a long time. I think he would fuck off into the wilderness for like 5 years and stew into his depression before eventually coming back to dwma like a sad wet cat. Kid knew where he was the entire time but knew he needed space so he just let him be. (Dtk voice) oh good you’re back (genuine) you are going to therapy if even if I have to drag you there myself & if you ever disappear like that again I will make you do paperwork for years (threatening). I think he would to some extent become as distanced as lord death was just because he doesn’t want to go through that again. Friendly with all the people around him but never really going past a surface level of knowing them. Also he would absolutely never get another weapon partner he would just pull a mifune and use a real non magic boring sword. Eventually gets better about the distance thing because kid mandated therapy if he wanted to keep doing missions. He kinda becomes the go to guy at dwma for dangerous missions because he thinks they’re fun and he enjoys bragging about it. Maybe trains some students on the side and makes suggestions about the curriculum. He gets absolutely no say in the day to day operations of the dwma though he would burn it to the ground. Black star lies and tells students he’s the second cooler death god. (BS voice) who cares about that stuffy guy who does boring paperwork all day you guys should be worshipping ME (dtk voice) that is because he does not know how to do paperwork. he just submits his autograph.

I ultimately think they would support each other and rely on each other because they’re friends first and foremost but also because they’re kinda the only ones who get what it’s like. They both keep the memory of their friends alive and it’s nice to have someone else who remembers them. Insert the panels of black star saying he wants to bring about a balanced world with kid or whatever he said during their rematch. Sharing the burden of both grief and also keeping the world’s balance in check. Excalibur also gets it but he and black star cannot be in the same room for more then 10 minutes before black star starts trying (and failing) to violently murder him.

As a side note I think dtk and Excalibur would become… not friends. But Excalibur was close to his dad and seems to feel some degree of responsibility over kid because of it. Functions as the annoying pop up window that tells kid to take a break and occasionally gives good advice when he isn’t acting Like That. Dtk forgives black star for ghosting him for 5 years but will never forgive being forced to spend 5 years with Excalibur by himself & so every time Excalibur comes by kid redirects him to black star like “black star was just telling me the other day he couldn’t remember your legend you should go remind him :)”

#soul eater #not very well articulated because I’m tired but I wanted it out of my head #u can interpret this as romantic or platonic I really don’t care I just like their dynamic #i have thoughts on kidstar in the romantic sense that I can share if asked but I think solely looking at a dynamic thru that lens makes you #miss things. I just like looking at canon and playing with it like it’s a sand box.#also skirting around the details of actual character death because thinking about it makes me too sad.

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arkhamsrevenge · 2 years

Note

I saw you wanted some requests and I've been thinking about this one for awhile. Imagine Dick Greyson discovering you smoking again, after being a few years sober, due to a mission going wrong

I got a little carried away. I hope you enjoy!

Worried Sober

You dragged the cancer stick from your mouth and blow out smoke. It's been 10 years since you've been sober, hell 10 years since you wanted a cigarette. It's cold tonight, actually it seemed a lot colder tonight than usual.

"Thought you didn't smoke anymore." You didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"I don't. One time thing." You replied. Soon arms came into view. Dick Grayson, the first Robin, your first teammate and your first friend stood beside you. His face stayed blank but his eyes told another story. He was concerned, you didn't know if it was for you or Jason. "It's just to keep my mind off things for a second." You croaked and took another drag.

"He's fine." You're eyes flickered to Dick who was doing his best to try and convince you of that. For the past 2 hours that's all everyone's been saying and it's driving you crazy. They're acting so optimistic it's sickening. You grit you're teeth trying to stop yourself from snapping back. "Here, give me the-" Dick started to reach for your cigarette only to have you pull farther away from him. His face softened. "He's fine. I pr-"

"You can't promise me that. Don't promise me that." You growled, you're voice cracking slightly. You felt tears starting to form. "You promised me he'd be fine 15 years ago." Dick let his arm fall to his side. "You lied to me for 5 of those years. Telling me he was off somewhere in another country focusing on his education. That Bruce sent him to a very prestigious school you can't pronounce and Bruce has been giving you weekly updates that Jason's ok. When the whole fucking time he was DEAD! DEAD DICK! GONE. Why the fuck did you keep me hoping he'd come back?" The tears were falling free now. You're voice had gone completely horse. Dick's eyes lowered.

"I didn't know how to tell you he was gone." The first Robin whispered. "I didn't tell you he was dead to protect you. How do I tell someone who I see everyday that her best friend is dead?" You paused, tears still running down your face.

"Y/N, Jason's dead. He died in an explosion that the Joker rigged. That's how Dick." You could see the cogs turning in his head; trying to think what to say next.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you, but Jason wouldnt want you coping by falling back into old bad habits." You scoffed.

"I don't need your apology. I needed you to tell me the truth. You all got to mourn, I didn't. You all went through the 5 stages of grief, I never did. When Jason came back I acted mad at him because I thought he left for 5 years! And then, then, everyone was upset with me when I didn't want anything to do with you because you lied. Oh forgive Dick, he was mourning the loss of this brother. He did what he thought was best for you. All he wanted to do was protect you. I don't need anyone protecting me. I can't handle myself. That being said, dont you dare try to guilt trip me by using Jason. I dont give a fuck what anyone wants, it my fucking body. If I want to have a cigarette then fuck off and let me." You were breathing heavy by the time you finished your rant. Dick just stared at you.

"Feel better?" He asked. You're temper was beyond seething. Flicking the cigarette over the balcony, he pushed past him and walked back into the manner. You heard Dick running after you. "I'm sorry, ok? I just wanted to cut the tension. I'm not good in tense situations you know that." You continued to ignore him as you made your way to your room Alfred insited you stay in. You sat on your bed and dug through your bag looking for you pack of cigarettes.

"I took them." You're breath caught in your throat. You knew that voice, that deep gruff voice that haunted you for years. You felt frozen but somehow managed to turn around to face the man holding your cigarettes hostage. There in the doorway was Jason Todd, holding your pack if cigarettes in his scared up hands. Dick Grayson, the man you just screamed at for twenty minutes was leaning on Jason's shoulder with his elbow. You bit your cheek and slowly stood up making your way over to the mountain of a man. You had to crane you're neck to see him once you were close enough. You hadn't been this close to him in a month at least. Your heart was pulsing in your ears. Jason's brow furrowed with worry for a second making you think he can hear how fast your hearts racing. You look him over for a second, seeing if there are any visible injuries. He had a few scratches definitely some brusies and he's standing so he couldn't be in that much pain. Looking back into his once blue now green eyes, you reached for the pack of cigarettes only to have Jason pull them away. You reached again and he pulled away. Jason did this to you about three more times, a smirk forming on his face. "I thought you were asthmatic." Jason's deep voice rumbled in his chest. You grit your teeth.

"I am. Now give." You say trying to get your cigarette box, your were angry before and now your annoyed. You should be happy to see Jason alive and healthy. For fuck sake, you're the one who saved him from another deadly encounter. Jason was staking out one of Crane's warehouses and went in guns a blazing. If you hadn't been there with a mash carrying the antidote needed to reverse the affects, Jason would have gotten beat to death again the way Crane's goons were hitting him. But right in this moment you're so mad and upset with Dick for lying to you that all you wanted to do was smoke. You weren't hurting anyone else, just yourself.

"Your lungs already have a hard time working, giving them smoke is only gonna make it worse." Jason said still keeping the box out of reach from you, who has resorted to jumping up to try and get the box. You swear he's just trying to embarrass or make you very aware of you size compared to him.

"Just. Give. Me. Them." You say jumping with each word. Suddenly, your chest tightened. You stopped jumping to try and catch your breath. You know this feeling, it's all to familiar for you. You were having an asthma attack. You needed to take your inhaler but your pride was refusing you to do so. "Fine. Take them." You try to hide that your out of breathe. "Leave." You knew they both weren't stupid, they were raised by the world's greatest detective. You wouldn't just conside like that without a reason. You try to take a deep breath but failed. You felt like you were breathing through a straw. Still you waited for Jason and Dick to leave, your vision was starting to go, the lack of oxygen was getting to you, making you head go fuzzy. The former Robins started you down as if waiting for you to break. "Leave." You repeated softly. Both men's eyes widened. Shit they knew. Your strained voice gave you away as did your knees when they buckled. Jason caught you fast and guided you to the ground while Dick pulled out your inhaler from his pocket. He held it up to your lips but still you kept them shut.

"Take the fucking inhaler!" Dick shouted panicked. Both men cursed themselves for not catching on sooner. Reluctantly, you opened you mouth and breathed in twice. Soon your chest unwound and you were breathing normally. All you energy had depleted. You had forgotten how shitty your asthma attacks made you feel. All three of you sat in silence for a bit. You became hyper aware that were basically laying on Jason. You felt yourself start to blush and started to pull yourself to you feet. Jason still guiding you until you were fully standing. Both men loomed at you as if they were waiting for you to break down or collapse again. Without a word you repacked your bag and zipped it up. You took a deep breath finally feeling it fully and started to head for the door. You slunk past Jason and Dick, making you way down the manner staircase wanting to leave.

"Where are you going?" Dick asked.

"Back to my apartment. Jason's back safe, I saw him, he looks fine, I'm going." You say not bothering to look back. You didn't want to look at their faces. Knowing Dick had your inhaler ready just incase confirmed he still cares. You were embarrassed by your put burst because of you worry for Jason and the fact that you had an asthma attack after the out burst try to get you cigarettes back after being 10 yeats sober was also making you embarrassed.

"Ms. L/N perhaps you can wait till tomorrow. I made turkey with mashed sweet potatoes and mixed vegetables." Your hand stays on the door handle, Alfred always makes you hesitant. "Mashed sweet potatoes with toasted marshmallows on top." You still stayed still. "And lemon cakes for dessert." Slowly you removed your hand from the door handle and turned back to Alfred who offered you a hand. "Just leave your bag by the door for now Ms. come have some dinner with everyone." You let the stap of your bag slide off your shoulder, you then placed it on the floor and took Alfred's hand. He beckond Dick and Jason who had remained on the stairwell trying to think of ways to keep you from leaving. Both men shared a glance and met you eyes again back cautiously making their way down the stairs. Alfred then lead everyone to the kitchen to enjoy an nice meal after quit a night. You sat down at the grand table, Jason and Dick took either side of you. Tim, Babs, Damien and Bruce had already beat you, Jason and Dick there. Everyone ate in a calming silence for a few minutes. You kept your eyes down but saw Jason and Dick sharing glances out of you peripheral vision. Finally you spoke.

"Throw them out for me, would ya?" You turned to Jason who nodded.

"What is Todd throwing out?" Damien asked.

"Just something rotten." Dick answered. You nodded in agreement and continued to eat. With the tension gone, everyone enjoyed their meal a little more relaxed.

#dick grayson imagine #jason todd x you #jason todd #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson

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to-the-stars8 · 2 years

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Love and Neighbors

Pairings; Clark Kent x Reader 1-Small Talk In Elevators 2-Thin Walls 3-Humming In Elevators 4-Coffee Breaks 5- Cherry Pies 6-Dead Vibrators 7-Entitled Old Ladies 8-Friendly Neighborhood Reporter

9-Five Stages of Grief

You sat on the lawn chair atop of your apartment building, a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of pop in the other. There hadn’t been a single puff taken from it as you let it burn out as you waited. For the past two days, you hadn’t seen Clark, which wasn’t unusual, but it let you simmer on the thought of him being the man of steel. Between the hours you went through the five stages of grief.

Denial. You were absolutely sure that he couldn’t be Superman. It made no sense. He tripped over his words and his feet--Not like the grace you had seen the other day. Clark was just too normal to be anything but. Then again, there had been some suspicious things he had done.

Anger. If--very heavy hard if-- he was Superman, why hadn’t you noticed it before? Frustration bubbled in your chest. Not at him, but at yourself. Clark could tell you whenever he was ready or wanted to, that choice to reveal who was up to him. But, all the things he had done that were so obvious, like suddenly changing his furniture within minutes, is what made you feel incredibly fucking stupid.

Bargaining. Should you tell him about your knowledge of his secret identity? You would rather go on for the rest of your life pretending not to know than risk your friendship. Where would that leave you, though? You felt stuck on the idea. The last thing you wanted to do was spend your days saying something like if I had never told him maybe he would still be around.

Depression. You spiraled downward trying to reason with your feelings. Nothing could keep your attention for too long as the thought of how you were going to tell him consumed you. You laid in bed for hours after work, even ignoring the knock on the door from Clark as you were too exhausted and emotional to look at him. Damn, him being Superman was really fucking with you.

Acceptance. After watching Clark walk to work that morning, you realized that he had been for your friend for what felt like forever, and wasn’t the type to get too upset about things. You two could talk it out, just like all the other little quarrels before. He was Superman, a fact that you didn’t really care too much about because he was still your neighbor Clark.

He was still Clark, you reminded yourself when you looked up and saw him floating a few feet in front of you. Superman sat there with a smile on his face, nodding down to the cigarette he saw in your hand.

“Stressful day?” He asked as he landed on the rooftop.

You flicked away the bud, shaking your hand to get the stray ashes off. “You could say that.”

“You seem tense, wanna talk about it?” Now that, that was definitely a Clark question you realized.

You didn’t answer him, only sighing as you tried to think of what to say. Staring at Superman, who now was only a few feet in front of you, you noticed exactly how little effort it would have taken to notice it was your neighbor that you had been living next to you for God knows how long.

Standing up, you crossed your arms, looking into his eyes so you could see exactly what he was feeling. “You forgot your jacket at my place.”

There was a moment of surprise before immediate panic. “What?”

“Your jacket, Clark. I have your jacket.”

“How?”

You rolled your eyes, trying to come off nonchalant despite your heart beating wildly in your chest. Luckily, for you, you didn’t know Clark could hear how fast it was beating. He was just glad you couldn’t hear his.

A small, cautious smile slowly made its way across your face for a second. “No one’s got pretty blue eyes like yours, my lovely.”

Clark chuckled, putting his hands on his hips as he looked at the ground, thinking about how fucking stupid he was. You saw him nearly every day, were close to him on several occasions, heard his voice--Everything Lois had done, but you had figured it out way sooner.

“You’re not mad?” He asked.

You shook your head. “You got a reason for me to be?”

“Nope,” Clark said as fast as his mouth would let him so you wouldn’t change your mind.

“Clark, are we still friends?”

Now that confused him. “Of course. Why wouldn’t we be? Didn’t sell me out just yet, did you?”

“No, never,” You said quietly. “I…We’re still the same as before? This doesn’t change anything, right?”

“Well,” He scratched his chin before breaking out into a bashful smile. “Can’t make anymore balls of steel jokes.”

Your face felt hot, but you managed a small laugh despite the utter horror. Clark couldn’t help himself, he walked over to you and picked you up in a huge hug. The biggest weight in the world had just been lifted off his chest. Giggles spilled from you as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His hugs were still like Clark Kent, even in the suit.

“Quick question,” You said, pulling back to look at him. “You’ve never peeked on me through the wall, right?”

Clark flushed but shook his head. It was a bit of a fib. He had once and that was because he thought someone was hurting you. Turns out, you were by yourself having fun. He could still feel the guilt eating at his heart.

“One more thing,” You said. “Can you fly me around the city?”

“Last time I flew with you, you yelled in my ear.”

“I won’t! I promise, please,” You pleaded.

Not able to say no because Clark knew it would be a hell of a lot of fun to fly with you, he lifted you up. You laughed wildly this time, pulling yourself closer to him to look over his shoulder down at the city.

“You never get used to it,” Clark said into your ear. “It’s always beautiful.”

You leaned your head against his. “I’m a bit mad now. You kept this away from me.”

“Not anymore,” Clark mumbled.

“Yeah,” You said. There was a brief pause. “Can we go through a McDonald’s like this?”

“I regret saying yes to this now.”

#clark kent fluff #romance #clark kent fanfiction #clark kent x you #clark kent x reader #clark kent #superman #superman x reader #superman x you #lex luthor

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theweirdwideweb · 2 years

Text

I got angry in a meeting yesterday because someone was monopolizing all the time and I made an angry face. Then I was so triggered by the angry face I made (as an abused child I was never allowed to express anger) SO TRIGGERED that I spiraled about it for eight fucking hours. I went through all the stages of grief. I thought about relapsing and other bad things ;) and was paralyzed with angst until like a half hour before bed. This is all despite taking two xanax after realizing I'd been triggered. Anyway PTSD is a real bitch! Today I was fine! A passing facial expression that lasted less than 5 seconds did not in fact end my life and career. Not everyone in this world is your abusive parents who hold the power of life and death over you. Not everyone is a fascist dictator with whom no dissent is allowed. Good people get angry sometimes. Friendly reminder. Jesus.

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harudnae · 4 months

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Draft purge will resume soon. For now: angsty fic written between a fever and disappointing news on a very meh day 🤷

Basically: Rayleigh's internal monologue after the war in Marineford, with spoilers up to Wano, heavy feels included, hurt no comfort.

(I post this immediately after writing it because it hurt me enough that I don't want to read it again. We're all different, but a warning can't hurt. Ha. Hurt. I'm going to nest under a blanket once I'm done.)

Also posted on AO3 on 2024.01.31

Rating: General

Summary: Rayleigh, after the war.

Content warnings : angst, hurt no comfort, 3 out of 5 stages of grief (anger + bargaining + depression), Roger x Rayleigh if you squint (platonic works too, either way it's not the main focus), sad ending, I repeat: it starts bad and it ends worse

Word count: ~700

☠️ Gloom and doom

Rayleigh will never forgive Sakazuki, and vows to kill the man on the spot if he ever gets the chance. If he can't he'll die trying, and he'll make sure the bastard is permanently incapacitated.

Rayleigh will never forgive Teach, more so since he was a Whitebeard Pirate for decades. Rayleigh always had a bad feeling about him, even back when he was a rookie, but he went far beyond unforgivably despicable and dragged too many people down for him to rise with his dark schemes.

Rayleigh will never forgive Sengoku, even though he knows that the Fleet Admiral had his hands tied and the Five Elders have been ordering him around for a long time.

Rayleigh will never forgive Garp, even though he knows that he did whatever he could considering his rank and fame in the Marine.

Rayleigh will never forgive Whitebeard, to think that after all this time, the friendly rivalry, their epic battles, the feasts and drinks shared... He never told Rayleigh, or anyone else for that matter, never mentioned who he chose to replace Oden as Second Division Commander.

(Newgate entrusted Roger with his brother and took in his son in turn, he traded a brother for a son and they were family, but Roger's family was still there too–)

What was Roger thinking? He trusted Garp to a fair extent, but Rayleigh is the one with whom he raised two sons, and he could have raised another one, had Roger given him the chance.

And Rayleigh knows, has known for so long, that Roger didn't really think everything through, but this is just fucked up. Leave it to Roger to take the absolute worst decision of his life when Rayleigh isn't there to do anything about it.

Rayleigh will try, but he doesn't know if he can forgive Roger, either.

But above anyone else, Rayleigh will never forgive himself for not recognizing the rising pirate he met in Sabaody a few years ago.

His damn freckles were enough to distract him from the same eyes, same smile, same threatening Haki, even the fact that he had the same name as Roger's goddamn sword.

Ace. And his first mate, Deuce.

How could Rayleigh be so blind and absolutely out of his mind not to see how similar they were?

Ace died smiling.

So amazingly alike, until the very end...

Rayleigh buries his head between his hands and closes his eyes, heart heavy with the growing void inside it.

"The One Piece, huh... I wonder who will find it."

"My son, obviously!"

"You don't even have one!"

"I'll have one! Just you wait!"

Tears spill from Rayleigh's eyes, and heavy sobs shake his shoulders.

He was so focused on meeting the boy that Shanks entrusted the straw hat to, that he never even considered that Roger's biological son could be somewhere out there.

How stupid was he not to recognize the fire in the teenager's eyes? Devil Fruit aside, Rayleigh should have known. Should have, could have– and now it's too late.

How cursed is the Gol D. bloodline that Ace met Roger's nakama but none of them could do a thing to prevent either deaths?

How ironic that Rayleigh kept tabs on Shanks and Buggy as if they were Roger's only sons, but he never knew who Ace truly was...

How unfair is it that Ace grew up with Luffy – Garp's own grandson, of all absurd coincidences – who inherited Roger's dream and his straw hat, while Ace only had profound resentment towards the infamous reputation tainting his birth name?

How unforgiving is fate that Luffy is now the one going after the One Piece, while his sworn brother never even dreamed of going to Laugh Tale? His sworn brother, the son of the King of the Pirates, heir to the one that sent all these sailors on the Grand Line and without whom the title Luffy wants to claim wouldn't even exist!

How painful to lose a part of himself that Rayleigh didn't know existed until now...

Nothing makes any sense and everything's bitter.

Rayleigh doesn't even know what to believe in anymore.

Let's hope Shakky will let him drink her bar dry this time, too.

#i needed to evacuate some of the feels from today and it turned into this 💔#forgive me while i roll under the covers and disappear for a while #one piece #op fic #rayleigh #marineford #wano spoilers #angst #nae's writing

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littlerosetrove · 1 year

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Buck’s Coma Dream in Retrospect

It fell flat and it had conflicting messages.

I think the two big takeaways we were supposed to get and see were 1) Buck realizing that he’s enough just as he is. 2) Buck understanding/realizing that in the real world he has a family that loves him and accepts him as is, that’s real and not a fantasy (ie his parents loving him anyways and Daniel being alive), and that’s the 118.

Okay, let’s focus first on Buck realizing he’s enough. Well, he may have understood this message in his dream, but did we see this in any capacity in the real world? I’d have to say no, not really. For a few episodes Buck was struggling with the fact that he died, he was unsure how to feel about dying but still being alive, he didn’t know how to feel or act, etc. And then this very important story was effectively dropped, especially once the romance with Natalia was brought in (to only be a love interest, lbr).

Where, after the coma dream in episode 6x11, did we see Buck truly feel like he was enough? At most we have some “well I guess he felt confident in ____” moments. I’d say those are: - Buck going through the five stages of grief in 3 seconds before handing over the baby he helped create. - Buck taking on “leadership” in the finale. I mean yeah, but he was mostly on his own to do that. He kinda had to lead Ravi, but that was it. I’m stating this with a bit of an unsatisfied air because we really hadn't seen the proper build up this season to Buck even taking on a leadership position. So.

Beyond those two pieces, where exactly have we been shown that Buck has learned and felt that he’s enough? I’m really struggling here. (too bad his story about learning to be at ease with himself was forgotten). What also doesn’t help, and this happened in season 5, is we get so little insight into Buck’s mind and how he’s really feeling. Buck in season 4 admitted to hiding his true feelings, but... it still feels like this is the case even now. As if both Buck and the show are often hiding how he really feels about things. So we have to guess a lot.

This is also where dream!Bobby saying “if you only care how people see you, you haven’t learned a damn thing” comes into play in this. You know where this is going. The only thing we got was Buck saying to Eddie in 6x15 or 6x16 that Natalia, after one conversation that predominantly took place off screen, that “she sees him.” Ah. So Buck has learned nothing, got it. In particular, Buck has learned nothing when it comes to his romantic life. After six seasons. My good dudes (gn).....

(we honestly got Natalia not seeing Buck even before Kameron randomly showed up at Buck’s place; we were shown Natalia being overwhelmed and low-key judgmental of Buck’s full life before and after Kameron came in. and she ran away from it all. sound familiar? y’all also please note she came back after Buck was in danger. for all we know, she saw what went down on the news and decided to come back. sound familiar??? we saw Natalia not understanding why Buck helped Kameron and Connor, she had to be told the answer. the only thing we’ve concretely been shown is Natalia finding Buck’s death, a piece of him, “so cool.”)

*deep sigh* Okay, now for point two.

There’s two aspects to how the fantasy vs reality of it all was clumsily handled. (this was inspired from a chat I had with @lovecolibri )

In the coma world, Buck’s parents genuinely seemed to be loving and supportive towards Buck, something Buck never got in the real world. In the scenes of the real world, we were shown the 118 family and Maddie being that: a family that loves Buck and are hella concerned about him. Of course they are, because we’ve spent several seasons making this a fact, a fact that they all love Buck and they love him as he is, unconditionally.

A big HOWEVER. However, also in the real world, we had the Buckley parents present and seemingly concerned about Buck. Sure, this is in part nothing new about them; the Buckley parents only showing concern when Buck is physically hurt. BUT we also have to factor in that in episode 6x10 we were shown the Buckley parents “trying” to, at the very least, be civil with their kids, honestly, and this is my interpretation here, in great part only so they could have a relationship with Jee-Yun (despite them… I don’t think showing that much interest in Jee-Yun beforehand. not that I remember atm).

The conflicting message here is that in the coma world Buck has parents that love him unconditionally, but he knows this isn’t true in the real world. We saw him, as I interpreted it, Buck giving one last hug to coma!Buckley parents in a sort of goodbye to this fantasy, because again Buck knew that he’d never have the relationship he wants or truly deserves in the real world. But Then, when Buck wakes up he has his parents there and “trying”….. But. But Buck had also had the understanding in his dream that the 118 are his family and he wants to return to them, for himself.

I hope y’all are following because this is a bit confusing isn’t it; my explanation and what the show was even trying to say. What we got was coma!Buck understanding that his parents have never and will never “love him anyway.” He has the 118 that do. But then in the real world we have the 118 there for Buck, but ALSO the Buckley parents who still don’t love him anyway, but are “trying,” so… Good enough?

Idk idk, what would have been more impactful was to have Buck return to a reality where he has his 118 found family who can be contrasted, clearly, to his parents that both a) still don’t love him unconditionally (which is true in any case, but...), and 2) not have the Buckley parents there for reconciliation purposes. The timing of the reconciliation really muddles the messaging, if you follow me.

I’ve seen a lot of people view the show as redeeming the Buckley parents (and Mr. Han), when the show was going for reconciliation.

The only parents that have actually gotten redemption stories are Ramon Diaz and Toni Wilson. Those stories worked because both parents acknowledged their wrong doings, and said and showed that they are willing to try to mend things with their kids. Which both have been actively doing.

Neither the Buckley parents nor Mr. Han has been shown to acknowledge their wrong doings to their kids. Instead we were given a silent message of “let’s start from scratch and… just try to get along.” This is why their stories are meant to be reconciliation and not redemption, but they were clearly poorly executed.

For Buck in the real world we just… saw him going with the flow of his parents being there. Oh his mom wants to buy Buck a couch? Buck: “...Sure, I guess. Go ahead.”

Circling back to the 118 family. While we did get some moments and scenes in 6x11 and 6x12 of the 118 being there for Buck… idk, that was kind of it. The rest of the season after that was kinda scattered on - really showing the bond amongst the 118. At least to me. Like, why weren’t there more scenes of Buck and Bobby, especially after May said out loud that Bobby is Buck’s dad? I’m blanking, but did Buck ever say “congratulations on the engagement” to Chimney or Maddie, his sister? We didn’t get any further discussions amongst the 118 of Buck’s death, not really, beyond 6x12 having some check in with Buck, and 6x13 having everyone joke about Buck’s math skills. (i do love the Buck/Eddie of it all, don’t get me wrong. but in hindsight it’s hilariously bizarre that in retrospect we and Buck are being told that Eddie seemingly regularly plays poker with other firefighters. haha ok.)

Hell, why was there never a conversation between Buck and Chimney? Chimney died twice in season 5 (but that was quickly forgotten), and almost died in both seasons 1 and 2. Chimney would absolutely be a perfect person for Buck to talk to about death.

I’m sure I could give more examples, but overall I felt season 6 was weird in how they handled the dynamics on the 118 as a whole. To me, a little too often they were just kept apart because for a show that is supposedly big on found family, it wasn’t that consistent or as present as it should be in season 6. (yes there were definitely good and great 118 moments in season 6, but there could have and i think should have been more for this found family.)

Like holy shit, the finale? We got a baffling time jump from the rescue, so we didn’t get anything like Buck checking in on Bobby, his dad. We didn’t get Buck checking in on Eddie, his best friend and partner. We didn’t get anyone checking in on Chimney, etc etc etc. Everyone was off in their little pairings, and two of the pairings of course were Buck and Eddie with their female love interests. I phrase it like that because that’s exactly what the writers, at present, have given us and nothing more; female love interests. So satisfying.

...

TL;DR If Buck learned and understood that he’s enough in the real world and not just in his coma dream, call me dumb but it wasn’t clear at all. Season 6 overall, while having some good moments with the 118, was honestly lacking in the found family aspect that used to be so important and central to this show.

#911 discourse #911 critical #9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #just trying to get out all of my criticism and frustrations #with s6 out of my system #but this is why I tag stuff accordingly so if it's not your jam #people can just block this stuff #my thoughts #long post

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