#i think this is a classic case of 'i've seen you stressed i've seen you emotional but i did not give a fuck until i saw you enjoying your ho

[gayofthefae]

Natalia Buddie callout this Marisol Buddie callout that yada yada yada we have been THROUGH this booooring but you know what we haven’t been over?

KAMERON CALLOUT. Give me a hormonal pregnant lady done with their bullshit not even lifting her head from her place in bed as she lazily shouts after Eddie leaves “so is that your boyfriend?”

Same vibes as the pasta. She’s just bored and tired and curious. She has no stake in it whatsoever she just also has no filter. Like if he says no she will move tf on but Buck will be thinking about it constantly and bring it back up with her like he did the couch with Bobby and she’ll have like forgotten she even said anything.

I highkey love my girl Kameron. And I want her and her husband to like be on good terms but also her being still staying with Buck in 7x01 and therefore a larger character is something I would LOVE.

#911fox #911 kameron #has my whole heart and literally all it took was that pasta scene #i think this is a classic case of 'i've seen you stressed i've seen you emotional but i did not give a fuck until i saw you enjoying your ho #bbies or your idiosyncrocies' #poor kameron and her husband hope that gets better yeah yeah stealing his spaghetti as his new girlfriend LEAVES HIM???? Iconic hilarious if #your husband and you are on the rocks i'll take you #911 speculations #buddie speculations

[latenightreadingpdf]

Comfort in the Silence - Spencer Reid

Summary: Spencer Reid returns from a case with a headache. During their movie night, his friend discovers his worsening condition and offers comfort, deepening their bond.

The soft click of the door echoed in the quiet hallway as Spencer Reid stepped out of his apartment, the weight of the recent case evident in his weary posture. His eyes were rimmed with fatigue, and the familiar ache of a headache throbbed at his temples.

Across the hall, you heard the soft sound of Spencer's door closing and quickly made your way to your own door, peering through the peephole. Seeing him, you unlocked and opened your door, greeting him with a soft smile.

"Rough case?" you asked, concern evident in your voice as he made his way into your apartment.

Spencer nodded, rubbing his temples. "Yeah, it was… it was tough."

You gently closed the door behind him, leading him to the familiar comfort of your living room. The two of you had lived in the same apartment building for years and had become close friends. Over time, movie nights had become a cherished tradition, a way to unwind and forget about the stresses of work.

"You look like you could use a distraction," you suggested, heading to your collection of movies.

Spencer managed a weak smile. "That sounds nice."

The two of you settled on the couch, a classic movie playing on the screen. But as the movie progressed, you noticed something was off. Spencer, known for his rapid-fire ramblings about movie trivia and facts, was unusually quiet.

"Hey, you okay?" you asked, glancing over at him.

He hesitated, forcing a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."

But you knew better. You'd seen Spencer tired before, but this was different. There was a tension in his eyes, a slight grimace every time his hand went to his temple.

"Spence," you began gently, "you're not your usual chatty self tonight. What's going on?"

He sighed, looking away. "Just a headache, it's nothing."

You weren't convinced. "You don't usually hide it when you're not feeling well. You know you can talk to me about anything."

Spencer hesitated, the weight of the secret pressing down on him. Finally, he spoke, "They've been getting worse lately. The headaches."

Your concern deepened. "Have you seen a doctor about it?"

He shook his head. "No, I've been… I've been trying to ignore it, hoping it would just go away."

You reached out, placing a comforting hand on his arm. "Spencer, you need to take care of yourself. You can't keep ignoring this."

He nodded, the vulnerability in his eyes clear. "I know."

You guided him to lie down on the couch, fetching a cold cloth from the kitchen to place on his forehead. As he lay there, you sat beside him, gently stroking his hair in a soothing gesture.

"Try to relax," you whispered. "I'll take care of you."

Spencer closed his eyes, the pain in his head gradually subsiding under your gentle care. He felt a warmth spread through him, not just from the cold cloth on his forehead but from the comforting presence beside him.

As the movie ended, you noticed that Spencer had drifted off to sleep, his breathing even and peaceful. Gently, you shifted, allowing him to lay his head in your lap, providing him with a more comfortable place to rest.

You continued to stroke his hair, the worry for your friend mixing with a newfound realization of just how much he meant to you. The silence of the room was comforting, the only sound being the soft hum of the movie credits playing in the background.

Spencer's trust in you, allowing himself to be vulnerable and cared for, deepened the bond between you. You couldn't help but think of all the times you'd spent together, the laughter, the debates, and the quiet moments like this one.

You leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, a silent promise to always be there for him. In that moment, the line between friendship and something more blurred, the depth of your feelings for Spencer becoming undeniable.

As the night wore on, you eventually drifted off to sleep, Spencer's steady breathing and the warmth of his presence lulling you into a peaceful slumber.

In the quiet of the early morning, Spencer awoke, his headache gone and feeling more refreshed than he had in days. He looked up to find you still asleep beside him, a soft smile on your face.

Carefully, he shifted, not wanting to disturb your peaceful rest. As he did, your eyes fluttered open, meeting his with a warmth and understanding that made his heart skip a beat.

"Feeling better?" you asked softly, your voice filled with genuine concern.

He nodded, a grateful smile on his lips. "Much better, thank you."

You smiled back, the connection between you stronger than ever. "Anytime, Spencer."

As the morning light streamed through the windows, casting a golden glow over the room, you both knew that this was just the beginning. A new chapter in your relationship was unfolding, one filled with trust, care, and the realization of deeper feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long.

The bond between you had always been strong, but now it was evolving, growing into something beautiful and profound. And as you both settled back into the comfortable silence, content in each other's presence, you knew that whatever the future held, you would face it together, supporting and caring for one another every step of the way.

#criminal minds #fanfic #spencer reid #spencer #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #season6!spencer reid #headache!spencer reid #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds imagine #spencer x reader #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #fluff #comfort #spencer reid oneshot #criminal minds oneshot

[its-dean]

I’ve been posting on other online platforms about Fossil Fighters for a long time now, and most who are familiar with what I share know that a lot of my content has a heavy focus on original vivosaur ideas. With these vivosaurs I come up with, as well as the stats I create to go with them, I notice that there are often people questioning whether what I come up with would be balanced or not from a gameplay standpoint.

As I’ve gone on with developing this unique vision for my vivosaurs, I’ve also slowly refined my idea of Fossil Battles entirely. All of us are aware that both the original Fossil Fighters and Fossil Fighters Champions don’t have the best balancing in the world. There are certain cast members and even a few core game mechanics that allow so many otherwise memorable characters to fall to the wayside, and with the stats I was coming up with I was only further encouraging that type of hostile environment. The more I worried about whether something I was coming up with would feel realistic or balanced the more I considered the fact that the formula itself may have been broken in the first place.

There have been others in the community that have projected their own ideas of how to change things up regarding gameplay, things like adding new elements or even having customizable skills. Because the series felt like it had ended so suddenly there's become so much to dream for in a potential sequel. These are the people that inspired me to attempt something similar myself back when I was making my vivosaur last year. It inspired me to take a step back with my thinking and ultimately led to me creating a total re-imagining of the classic battle system we all know and love. 

That's the thing, the games may not be perfectly balanced, but I always find how these games work to be something that's just inherently fun in a very unique way. Above everything else, with this project I wanted the new system I was creating to still have the "feel" of having a good old-fashioned Fossil Battle. These games have incredible potential for an interesting competitive landscape, just if only some of those unbalanced mechanics were to be adjusted. This is what I strive to achieve the most with my ideas: an environment where every vivosaur has something practical to them, a format where you CAN win using your favorite vivosaurs. The only thing that should stop you is how well thought-out and unique of a strategy you can come up with.

Fossil Fighters Odyssey is a personal project of mine that I've technically been working on for over half a decade now. Still, I think it's most important to stress the fact that everything I come up with and will be talking about in this post is for fun. This shouldn't explicitly be seen as a vehicle for a potential fan game, I make these things for my own enjoyment and have no plans or obligations to turn any of these ideas into tangible content in the future. We all can pretty unanimously agree that it’s fun to dream about a theoretical continuation of this franchise, especially because of how it felt like it came to such an abrupt halt in a way none of us were really ready for. This project is simply meant to represent the changes I'd most want to see if that were to ever somehow happen, and that vision of mine simply might not appeal to your individual preferences.

But now moving to the fun stuff itself. I strive to be as in-depth as possible when taking into account how I would rework the gameplay, taking a comprehensive look at the entire series. To keep things feeling familiar while also feeling like an "evolution" of sorts, I found it most compelling to try and utilize standout mechanics from all three of the previous games. Yes, that includes Frontier because, while I can't defend its battle system as a whole, I do think there are some features it introduced that can really enhance potential team building and strategy (mainly referring to the boost system it uses).

Since there are far too many changes to cover in a text post, I created a PowerPoint to explain everything in a more presentable and organized way. The link to it can be found directly below this paragraph, with the presentation being separated in order of different areas of discussion, from how vivosaurs have changed to the differences in the battle system to new and altered abilities and so much more! Plus, attached to this post are the stat sheets for every single vivosaur, #1-300. My own vivosaurs as well as the 10 unique vivosaurs from Frontier are included in the lineup, and all the vivosaurs you're already familiar with have received numerous changes and enhancements to their skill sets so that they can thrive in this new Fossil Battling format.

Link to the PowerPoint (in case the picture quality is too poor to be able to read on this website)

FFO Mechanics.pptx

Link to all 300 vivosaurs and their stat sheets:

FFO All Vivosaurs.pptx

(Disclaimer: not all of the vivosaurs have artwork to correspond with their dino medals, but those will be hopefully trickling out down the line in the future.)

To round things out, I definitely want to thank the people that have already been supporting me and the things I create these past few years elsewhere. Without the level of the recognition and approval I see from the people who always respond to what I make, I definitely never would've come this far with developing my ideas. You guys are the ones who've been enjoying these things, from vivosaurs to characters to the overarching story I hope to one day be able to share with you all. I owe it to you for allowing myself to become as invested in my favorite series as I now am. And hey, depending on how people react to what I have here I may make another post outlining the more creative story and character elements I have in mind… 

Thank you to everyone who's been there for all this time, as well as anyone willing to read through everything I've been able to put together here, this project never could've been completed without you all for me to share it with.

#fossil fighters #game design #mine

[jester-jpeg]

Cg!reid and little!derek. I dont think i've seen that yet

: !cg reid & !little derek moodboard .ᐟ ✦

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thank you so much for the request!! this is a really unique idea i’ve never heard of but i took a swing at it :)

i’m going to put some headcanons and basically an explanation of this under the cut <333 REQUESTS OPEN

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!cg spencer reid and !agere derek morgan headcanons by yours truly:

- derek regresses to anywhere from 5-11, it entirely depends on the mindset he’s in and amount of stress he’s dealing with (more stress = older cuz he’s less comfortable letting go all the way if he has a lot on his plate)

- he tends to regress to 7-10 age range more often because he’s not entirely comfortable letting himself regress entirely

- spencer tries to teach derek chess whenever he’s regressed, but derek usually rolls his eyes after half an hour and wants to go outside

- derek is a tween regressor/trauma regressor (he regresses to the ages where his dad was still alive and tends to seek out reid cuz even though he can take care of himself, he wants a father figure to occupy him)

- derek is a very outdoorsy little who loves playing football with reid in the backyard (he kicks and throws the ball, spencer just tries to throw it back to him)

- spencer reads classic fairy tales and stories to derek when it’s time to put him to bed, derek puts up a fight cuz “he doesn’t need a bedtime story” but he actually loves and appreciates it <33

- derek is really into winnie the pooh. he still tries to hide it cuz he thinks it’s immature. reid regularly reassures him that winnie the pooh is for any age

- spencer keeps at least one winnie the pooh book and the chapter book they’re reading together in his bag, just in case derek regresses suddenly

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#sfw agere #age regressor #agere community #age regression #safe agere #agere little #agere blog #agere #moodboard #agere moodboard #criminal minds moodboard #criminal minds #criminal minds caregiver #criminal minds spencer reid #criminal minds derek morgan #derek morgan #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #jester-board

[fabuloustrash05]

Alright for the TMNT ask:

24, 7, 8 and I guess 9

Turtle Asks!

7) Favorite really obscure character?

I guess those girl scouts that work for Cassandra. They are a menaces to society and I wanna know their stories.

8) Favorite villain/antagonist?

I just think he's neat.

9) If you could change one thing about TMNT, what would it be?

I'm gonna do one for each show I've seen so far:

TMNT 2012 - Remove the entire Leo x Karai romance subplot. I'd change it that there's no romantic connection between them and instead when he first meets her, Leo only wants to hang out with Karai not because he likes her but because she gives him a sense of freedom and rebellion after being stress from being leader. Evenually Leo starts feeling like he knows Karai from somewhere, but everyone assumes he's just developing feelings for her, which is he insist that isn't the case. Once all the Turtles meet Karai they all start getting that same feeling as Leo when around Karai, as if they've known her their entire lives. This "feeling" is their familiar/sibling bond and the reason they "know her" is because they always heard stories from Splinter about Miwa, unknowingly to them, they are with Miwa!

ROTTMNT - I'd add in more classic TMNT characters to the show, specifically I'd bring in Mona Lisa (her and Raph would have a little slow burn side plot with her being in love with him but he's oblivious), Venus de Milo (who is Big Mama's assistant and the Turtles long lost sister, since the writer's confirmed there were more Turtles who were left behind), Renet (who'd be a time wizard in the under ground city), Mondo Gecko (a wanna be pro skater who gets mutated, it just be nice to give the Turtles more guy friends), and maybe Slash (who could be another long lost sibling).

TMNT 1987 - I'd just give Mona Lisa another episode. That's all I wanted in 87! Was that too much to ask?!

24) Roast your favorite character (affectionate)

*long regrettable sigh...*

Girl could do so much better than Raph but she settled for that Earth mutant trash! If she was smart she'd leave her dumbass bf! Also she looks like a rejected Pokémon design!

#I'm so sorry Mona baby I love you <3 #my-name-is-bunnyfoxy #asks #answered #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #tmnt 1987 #tmnt mona lisa #lord dregg #cassandra jones

[imsobadatnicknames2]

What are your favourite ttrpg mechanics that you’d like to see adopted by more systems?

Sorry for taking so long to answer!

Anyway, my answer is probably gonna be kinda boring because I very rarely play those artsy, high-concept rpgs with really out-there experimental mechanics.

I think some of my favorite mechanics are those that take elements of classic old-school roleplaying games but streamline and abstract them to juuust the right amount of crunch. For example, I've mentioned this before: I ADORE the initiative mechanic from games like Mausritter, Into the Odd, or The Black Hack: At the start of combat, every player makes a Dexterity check. Players that pass get to act before the group of enemies, while players that fail have to act after the group of enemies.

Similarly, I REALLY like the way The Black Hack handes inventory management through its usage dice system (which has inspired similar systems in later games): for stackable, consumable items such a arrows, rations, lantern oil, etc, instead of keeping count of the exact number, your represent the quantity of items with a die. Each time you spend the item, you roll the corresponding die, and if the result is 1-2, you downgrade the size of the die by one step (e.g. a d12 becomes a d10). When the usage die is 1d4 and you roll a 1-2, you run out of whatever item it was.

Both of these mechanics massively streamline initiative and inventory management and vastly reduce the bookkeeping involvd in those systems, but still keep the idea behind them crunchy enough that they still preserve an element of tactics. I tend to hack these mechanics into pretty much any old-school game that features initiative or inventory management, and I've yet to find a case where it wasn't a huge improvement.

Another mechanics that I love that I' think we don't see enough in games is 'd love to see used more often in games is risk-reward choices. One of my favorite examples is a magic weapon which I think appears in the second Mörk Borg Cult zine (Mörk Borg Cult: Heretic). When attacking with it, you can choose any number and apply it as a penalty to your attack roll, in exchange for getting to apply the same number as a bonus to your damage roll if you succeed. So the harder you choose to impair yourself with the attack roll, the bigger the potential damage you'll do if you manage to succeed. I think that's one of the best-designed magic items I've ever seen in a ttrpg and I wish more things in TTRPGs incorporated that kind of decision.

Lastly, another one that I love but I don't think it fulfills the "you’d like to see adopted by more systems" part of your ask: I absolutely ADORE the flashback mechanic from Blades in the Dark. Basically: at any point during a heist, you can spend stress to invoke a flashback to roleplay an action your character did in the past to prepare for the situation they're facing in the present (as long as it doesn't contradict or "undo" any of the things that have been established in the fiction so far). E.g. as you enter a party you get patted down and deprived of your weapons, you might choose to trigger a flashback to roleplay how earlier that afternoon you came by, gave one of your guns to one of the valets and, bribed him to hide it for you in one of the potted plants inside the ballroom. Just like any other action, depending on how hard or risky it is, it might automatically succeed, or it might require one or multiple rolls.

The reason I'm hesitant to say I'd like to see it adopted by more systems is because, as much as I consider it one of the most brilliant ttrpg mechanics of all time, it's also a mechanic firmly rooted in BitD's criminal theme and heist structure, and to me i'd feel pretty out of place incorporated into any system that doesn't mainly revolve around executing heists.

#ttrpg

[sun-undone]

OBX details that make me feral (13/?)

The hot tub scene because as a JJ stan I am legally required to make a post about it

So many amazing things have been written and created about this scene, but I wanted to just add whatever I could to the discussion! (only 2 years late to the party i know i know)

Why does JJ spend the money in the first place?

Since I've been on a spree of looking at JJ's behaviors through a psychological lens, I feel like this scene is definitely one of the most interesting to analyze from that perspective.

I talked a lot about defense mechanisms in my previous post about 1x07, and pretty much all of those concepts are important to keep in mind when thinking about this scene. When trying to understand JJ's mindset and motivations, it's absolutely necessary to look back at the day as a whole and remember the emotional turmoil that he's experienced just in this one day alone (this whole show takes place over the course of like a month so even more reason to get all these kids into therapy STAT). Because of all the emotional baggage that has built up throughout the day, JJ is in desperate need of some relief. But since he's not exactly the best at relieving his distress in a healthy way, his "relief" comes in the form of defense mechanisms, which really just shield him from properly feeling the force of the emotions that are weighing on him.

Acting out

I talked about acting out before, and I feel like the overall definition of this one is the most self-explanatory. This defense is one of the most immature and least adaptive because it is often self-destructive; it causes even more problems.

We know that JJ generally has a pretty jaded, negative view of himself and his future, and the events of the day have probably brought all of those feelings right up to the surface. After having the argument with the Pogues, he undoubtedly feels like a fuck-up for disappointing his friends, and I would imagine that the fight with Luke only makes him feel even lower. Each of those blows to his self-image, one right after the other, definitely makes him think, "well who cares if I blow all the money?? I'm gonna end up alone and in jail anyway".

Another interesting aspect of his acting out is how exactly he decides to do it: he impulsively wastes all of the money and gets smashed. Which is pretty much what Luke wanted to do with the money (technically, he said he was gonna gamble it, but i'll argue that that's functionally the same thing as wasting it).

I just think it's so telling that JJ decides to self-destruct in a way that aligns himself with his father's own self-destructive tendencies. We've seen JJ get high a bunch already in this season, especially during/right after stressful situations (vaping after the first square groupers encounter in 1x02, smoking to "relax and lay low" when they go to the graveyard in 1x02/1x03, etc.) so he could've easily gotten high instead of drunk in this scene too, but nope. He specifically gets drunk, just like we saw Luke do in 1x05 after bailing JJ out of jail. Which brings me to the self-fulfilling prophecy part of all this.

Self-fulfilling prophecy

Pretty sure this one isn't considered a defense or a coping mechanism, but it's more of just a general concept that I definitely think is influencing the specific way in which JJ acts out in this scene. It's more like the lens through with the defenses are filtered.

In case anyone doesn't know, a self-fulfilling prophecy is basically when you have a certain belief, so you subconsciously act in a way that makes the people around you respond in a way that confirms that original belief. A classic example is a teacher labeling a student as an underachiever early on in the semester. Without realizing that they're doing it, that teacher might not call on the student as often or give them the attention that they'd give to other students. And because of that treatment, the student will likely stop trying to achieve in the class, which confirms the teacher's original belief that the student was an underachiever all along.

In JJ's case, he absolutely holds the beliefs (courtesy of Luke) that he will never amount to anything, that he's worthless, and that he's just a bad kid in general. And these ideas have been brought up throughout the day via John B saying "If you keep going down this road, you're gonna end up just like your dad", the Pogues saying that they're "sick of [his] shit", and of course Luke physically and emotionally beating him down afterwards.

(gif from @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo)

So with all of these moments fresh in his mind at the end of a very emotionally taxing day, he embodies the exact version of himself that he does not want to be.

JJ wants to be better than his father, so he copes just like how Luke would, by blowing a bunch of money and getting drunk. He desperately wants to do the right thing and to be loved by the Pogues, so he does the exact wrong thing that he knows will make them disappointed in him.

The fact that he reacts in a way that facilitates confirmation of his worst qualities by the people he loves most just makes the scene that much more heartbreaking. And it also makes me think that maybe a part of him, deep down and far away from conscious awareness, wants to let himself hit his lowest point so he can break down and finally allow himself to be comforted. He can’t directly open up to the Pogues because he’s emotionally closed off (in general, but even more so in this moment because of all the compiled stress of the day). But he can open up in a much more indirect (and not super healthy) way by going off the rails and being the worst version of himself that he can be, hoping that maybe they’ll realize themselves that something is seriously wrong, which is basically what happens.

Reaction formation and denial

I talked about this neurotic defense a bit in a previous post about jiara, and I think it's potentially back to haunt us (me) here. The short version of the concept is that sometimes, when people are hurting emotionally and feel like they have to hide their true feelings, they'll act in the complete opposite way of their impulse.

This one might be a stretch and more a consequence of him being smashed than anything else, but the way that JJ acts so excited and carefree at the beginning of this scene just screams reaction formation to me. He should be acting super dejected because that's the behavior that would match the internal emotion, but nope. He's making jokes and brushing off Kie and Pope's frustrations like they're nothing (at least to a certain point). Maybe this is just me, but even when I imagine him buying all the shit and stringing up the lights, I imagine that he's doing it "happily" as a way to convince himself that everything's fine and that he's living the life.

It's also likely that there's just some plain old denial going on here as well, which contributes to the whole "push every emotion down and everything will be fine" mentality that he definitely seems to portray as the scene progresses.

Either way, I feel like the irony in the way that JJ is acting makes the scene so chilling and unsettling, because we know that he is hurting so badly right now, but he's all smiles. And once again, this could be the alcohol making him act like this, rather than a defense mechanism, but why not a combination of the two?

He's literally just so tired/the hot tub is a metaphor dude

Every single explanation really just makes this scene even more depressing jesus christ

But yeah this last one isn't a defense (but it could potentially be considered a coping mechanism?? i really don't know), it's just the fact that in this moment, on top of all these other reasons for why he does what he does, I think he's also just fucking tired of being poor. And even more tired of being a Maybank.

This is a frustration of JJ's that we do see crop up consistently throughout the season, as he's usually the first one to bring up any wealth discrepancies and seems to be hyperaware of his incredibly low status on the island, even more so than the other low income Pogues. And more specifically in the context of 1x07, this idea is definitely salient in light of all the shit they've gone through to try to get the gold pawned off, and then later when JJ screams at Luke for giving him "nothing but a shitty life".

Along with his more personal insecurities weighing down on him throughout the day, he also has to grapple with the fact that the reason why he and the rest of the Pogues have already had to deal with so much shit is because of money. They've never experienced the ease that money can provide, and right about now, that ease sounds really nice to JJ.

I mean, it's a goddamn hot tub, the pinnacle of relaxation and luxurious ease. What a perfectly symbolic thing for JJ to gift to himself and his friends (family) in light of such a shitty, harrowing day.

One more thing about him just wanting to experience some luxury for once in his life: I adore how this is the only scene (i think in the entire series?) where he's not wearing his signature shark tooth necklace. And he's swapped it out for a fancy gold necklace instead, which is even further evidence for him trying to “try on” a different lifestyle and at least momentarily detach from the tribulations of his own life as a Pogue and as a Maybank.

Some quick color theory analysis that might be complete bullshit

This is just something that I noticed once, and ever since that rewatch (idek what number it was) I haven't been able to unsee it, so I just have to mention it even if some of it is a tad bit contrived.

So the lights in and around the hot tub are constantly shifting through blue, green, and red in this scene, and since obx actually despises continuity, it's hard to say that there's distinct color theory going on throughout the entire scene. BUT in one particular segment, I'd argue that either by coincidence or by some lighting person making a good call, the colors actually do line up pretty well with the emotions that JJ is expressing.

Broad strokes: I think blue symbolizes sad vulnerability, red symbolizes angry vulnerability, and green is just more of a transitional color between the two. (all of these gifs are from @aceofwhump btw!!)

So here you can see the lights fading from green to blue as JJ's walls come down. He seems unable to deflect away from his sadness anymore, and as soon as Kie offers him comfort, he just lets himself completely fall into it. Yes, the light fades again into red once Kie embraces him but uhhhhh can we just ignore that please it doesn't fit into my agenda and it also switches pretty quickly (jarringly) once they cut to the next angle

And then here, on this longer shot of JJ just crying and holding onto Kie, the lights are mostly blue, which reflects his most vulnerable, dejected emotions pouring through.

But when he shifts from pure sadness to express more of his anger and frustration with Luke, the lights have very obviously shifted to a pretty stark red.

And then the lights shift one more time from red to blue as JJ returns to a less angry, more sad kind of vulnerability, this time being comforted by both Kie and Pope.

Does all of it fit? No. Do I care that much? Obviously not. The main part that I thought was cool and potentially intentional is the red lighting in the third gif, and then I just based everything else around that particular moment.

(once again, i know so many people have said so many amazing things about this scene, so i hope that even just one part of this was original!!)

((if you read all of this you're the best 🥰 i think we're finally done with 1x07 oh my god i never thought i'd say it but i am sick of that episode and i will not be watching it again for at least.....a couple of weeks))

previous post // next post

#sof thinks too much about obx #jj maybank #obx s1 #obx season 1 #outer banks #rudy pankow #kiara carrera #john b routledge #the pogues #pope heyward

[asahicore]

haha, I'm sorry for stressing you out.

I love extraordinary you too. I ended up still having some unanswered questions, but overall I enjoyed it so much. especially because haru is such a pretty boy. 🤧

omg, that is so exciting!! actually doom at your service is in my top 5, with strong woman do bong soon, melting me softly, descendants of the sun and maybe vagabond. some honorable mentions are hometown cha-cha-cha, may I help you, love in the moonlight and crash course in romance. now I see what I put you through, I'm so sorry.

then, what are some kdramas that you disliked. I've noticed a pattern in mine: those before 2010. I mean, I don't dislike them all (coffee prince is one that I enjoyed a lot), but for example full house or secret garden had me wanting to punch a wall most of the time.

— ☕️!

srsly why is it so stressful to choose fav dramas 😭 its like with movies or songs, theres too many to choose from!!

putting a read more bc i talked so much bahahha

and right omg i watched extraordinary you at the beginning of lockdown and i fell in love with haru/rowoon so bad that i started stanning sf9 after that, i was such a big fan of them that whole year hahahaha, and yeah it does have some plot holes but honestly the romance was so cute i didnt even mind

gosh we've seen such different dramas hahaha i havent seen any in your top 5! ofc ive heard about strong woman though, and thats also on my list. crash course in romance was so fun i rmb watching it as it came out and i really loved their romance but god the murder mystery side plot is not for me 😭 i dont usually mind a mix of genres but romance with thriller isnt my thing i guess, i like it better when they're seperate. and love in the moonlight omg i watched it ages ago, and actually i dont rmb anything about it so ig that tells you its def not one of my favs 😭 i usually love historical dramas but i think the female lead disguised as eunuch trope is not for me either !

and omg, i havent ever watched a drama from before 2010 actually, bc ive heard that theyre such a product of their time and have like really sexist/fatphobic etc undertones with like toxic male leads and plot lines that just drag on and on bahaha, coffee prince is such a classic though i should watch it!!

for me its pretty rare that i dont like a kdrama cause if im not into it then i'll just drop it and forget about it, but one that i did watch and hated til the end was cheese in the trap because the male lead in insaaaaaane literally a psychopath and the female lead (park goeun bless her heart) is so wishy-washy, worst case of second lead syndrome i ever got in my life!! im going through my watched kdramas, and a lot that ive seen i remember enjoying as i watched but they just didnt stick with me afterwards. i rmb being super frustrated with love alarm, nevertheless (but that one wins back points for incredible casting/side stories/overall vibes lol, im actually considering rewatching...) and itaewon class! then some that i fully stopped watching are love in contract, she would never know, arthdal chronicles, detectives of seonam girls' high school and hotel del luna. i also stopped watching goblin and tale of the nine-tailed around ep 10 but i do plan on picking them back up at some point lol

#literally ive watched so many dramas where i had high expectations cause i heard sm about it #and while yes they were good they never became my absolute faves #like youth of may fight for my way or weightlifting fairy #but thats okay too ! #answered #☕️! anon #now i need to catch up on yesterdays new eps hahah

[cmterygrl]

ghost nsfw hcs

a/n: rqed by anon <3 srry it took actual months to answer who knows if u will even see this now 😭

general thoughts:

- loves lightly pressing down on your lower stomach to feel how deep he is. he'll make some comment about how well you take him – whether he says this as praise or degradation.. who knows.

- eye contact is Huge with him – in and outside the bedroom. likes it even more if it makes you flustered, and will use it against you. doesnt like it when you turn away from him, will hold your face and make you look at him when you cum. if hes in a really dominant mood, he Will punish you for breaking eye contact.

- i feel like he likes to use sex as a stress reliever But that doesnt mean he cant be passionate !! theres times where all he wants is to be close to you and please you, in which case he'll be trailing gentle kisses down your body and his hands will gently hold you, movements nice and slow and loving - he'll mumble soft praises and likes to kiss you deeply while you come.

- also really into dirty talk. of course if it's all okay with you, which he will make sure of first, his mouth is filthy. he'll mix in some praise but in such a condescending voice it's basically degrading. dirty talk and some low grunts and breaths is basically all the noise he makes in bed, he's definitely not dead silent but isn't very vocal otherwise.

kinks + positions:

- i've seen a lot of hcs for ghost where hes like super kinky and into hardcore shit but honestly … i feel like hes rather vanilla 🥸 . like the kinks that he does have aren't super intense and he isn't super into bdsm, not on him at least.

- i don't think he'll mind physically restricting his partner but because of his trauma and everything i dont think he'll like it being done on himself. at most he'll hold ur wrists above ur head with one of his hands or maybe use his belt or something. he just doesn't like it being too restrictive and wants to let you go as fast as possible if/when you say the safe word.

- any position where he can make eye contact with you and see ur pretty face is his favorite tbh. i would say he's into classic missionary and likes to have ur leg thrown over his shoulder so he can reach a little deeper. (also mating press is a close second in his top favorites)

- cowgirl is usually reserved for when he's tired and just wants to admire you on top of him. he loves the sight and its one of the few times he would 'give up' control. his hands would still be on your hips, guiding your movements while praise spills from his lips, encouraging you to keep going even when your thighs start to burn and is quick to say how proud of you he is when you ultimately tap out and get too tired.

xtra:

- ik i've said everyone was big for my past two nsfw hcs but … ghost has bde idk what u want me to do abt it 🤷‍♂️ i'd say a little over 6in and definitely thick, some prominent veins and a flushed tip 🫢.

- happy trail !! i feel like unless u mention it, he doesn't trim his hair that often. he doesn't have much to begin with but for the most part just lets it do its thing as usually he doesnt have time or just forgets to shave. not that he doesn't trim at all but it takes a while to grow back so he doesn't worry about it until he notices.

#call of duty #cod mw2 #cod smut #cod x reader #ghost smut #simon ghost riley #simon riley smut #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost ─ ✮ #rqs ─ ♱

[mapof-mysoul]

K-POP ?

It's been a while, but here I am. I was under a lot of stress as I was getting a new job. I started this week and though i haven't done much besides training. I'm excited about the possibility. I have been writing and reading and existing. My mind seems clearer not without its usual hurricane  of thoughts but just enough for me to see out from where I stand in its eye. 

Enough for the constant ache to be dulled. Kinda like what KPOP does to me. 

Weird transition but okay. I'll talk about KPOP.

As I write this I'm listening to BTS and Lee Know from StrayKids is commenting on bubble. So my reason for getting into KPOP BTS and my reason for spiraling down its rabbit hole SKZ. I thought it was a small hyper fixation as most things are for me. But a year and a half later here we are multi stan and all.

I joined this world just as BTS was announcing its group hiatus. Which sucked but I think I was lucky also. I get to experience them all for the grammys together and I get to learn them though their own individual music and schedules. I get to see them each for who they are as artists outside of BTS global phenomenon. I get to go back and see their struggles and growth knowing how it will all turn out.

I do however miss those who have enlisted and i'll miss those who still have to enlist. But thanks to BTS I have 5 individual artists I love and soon that will be 7 once JK and V  release their solos.

Thanks to them opening the door I found SKZ, which includes 8 chaotic guys whose music, energy and personalities also make me feel. 

When your mind is a mess to be pulled out of that is as close to euphoric as it gets. 

Yes there are other groups I enjoy. But these particular two make me feel seen, heard and understood. Yes they speak a language I'm struggling to learn but that's the thing they have opened me up to a culture and side of the world i never would have otherwise thought of learning about. Food, culture, language, customs and history are only a few of the things I've allowed myself to start learning. I want to understand them fully. 

The effort it takes is worth it. When you learn the meaning behind lyrics or remarks they make. Whether it's Love Yourself or Youtiful, I am grateful for the feelings behind these songs. I am grateful that I can know this world of BTS and SKZ and get immersed in so much more than their beauty. I mean yeah it's great to look at them, collect photo cards, albums or place posters on my wall. But when I look at those things I remember their words of kindness. 

I remember JK talking about how he missed us. Or Bang Chan seeing us weekly for Channies room. Things they don't have to do. Eat Jin or Asmr with Felix. Jimin and his little building lives or I.N drinking way too many energy drinks. They chose us as much as we chose them. Taehyung and Lee Know taking time to answer comments on their respective platforms. Namjoon's song recommendations on IG or Yoongi telling us the meanings of his songs regardless of how painful it must be for him to relive it. Hyunjin and Jhope dancing across my screen. Or Changbins laughter. Seungmins sacrasm and jokes and Hans' vulnerability.

These mens gentle masculinity is what has led most of us to feel closer to them then other western artists.

I love western music, from pop to rock, classic, jazz and indie but there is also rap and hip hop R & B on my playlist. As a latina i listen to bachata and ballads, reggaeton or merengue and salsa. My playlist has at least 11 languages on it. 

Can you tell I love music?

As a writer, feeling and hearing an emotion can fill me with it. I dont have to know the language, take one of my favorite songs by BTS' Min Yoongi or in this case his alias Agust D, The Last. 

The first time i heard it i cried, no lyrical reference not in either language i know. Just me feeling exhausted from the pain inside myself. Unable to cry at that point. Maybe it was the angsty pain in his voice but I knew I felt it too. I cried. Silent tears covering my cheeks. I was not alone. When I looked up the lyrics I sobbed again, because my soul understood before my mind could. He himself says music doesn't have a language. 

When I had the opportunity to see him in concert I jumped. Because he is my bias after all. I cried twice, once during Amygdala, because I knew exactly what he meant. Our traumas looked different but their effects were the same. I cried again during Snooze as he repeated over and over and over how "everything was going to be okay". As he reminded me to lean on him to take a break, and then when i'm ready pursue my dream once again. It felt good to hear it in person. But I didn't cry during The Last like I thought I would. Instead I smiled because that was a song that connected him and I and millions of people around the world. 

I wasn't an emotional mess the entire time. Instead I screamed in anger during Burn It, a song that gave way to that kind of behavior as well as a lot of his others. But hearing him pause to say hey “from now on i'll write with less anger”. Reminded me of my own writing journey. Of how I too have written angry and dark and pained. But like him I too have begun to step out of that. When im asked why Min Yoongi, its because he spoke to a part of me i thought would never heal and he was there when when it started to. Im not saying he saved me but it really fucking helped to hear someone, like him say "yeah same".

It wasn't just him, my SKZ bias Bang Chan. Might not have done one of his weekly check in in a while but he is also much like me. He fights for those he loves endlessly, forgetting himself in the process. Working until he pushes too far. Wanting to be better, do better, be the best and continually climb that perfectionist ladder.

I've heard him give advice about living and taking care of yourself. I've also heard him say he values respect amongst all things. He has many times spoken to his Stays about leaving the haters alone. He almost said he liked people who didnt give a fuck. But stopped himself saying people who don't care instead. He has talked about periods and sex education calling it explicit education. A Stay asked “what will i do without you?” his response they should live, “live life to the fullest.” He even says that no matter who you are, what you want to be, he will be there for you. As a leader he is both beyond honest and careful, also hopeful that  overly enthusiastic Stays don't take things out of context or too far. He trusts his fandom. 

So when i say i listen to kpop. This is it. I watch endless content from many groups that catch my attention. Often I laugh until my stomach hurts and oftentimes I cry. I Read books they recommend, learn a language and culture and customs and history. So yes kpop sounds toxic or intense but to me it's safe in a world that often does not provide that. 

A world where my own mind is my biggest enemy. This is where I can both find myself while I lose myself. Disconnect from my own life and become immersed in another one. So ill keep reading subtitles and translations while i learn korean. But i'll also learn about their history and customs. 

Bowing, instead of the western greeting of hugs or Spanish cheek kisses I grew up with, is probably my favorite. I've never been a touching random strangers person. But in Dominican Republic that's what you do. I also love art now too. That's thanks to RM, the leader of BTS, who is an art collector and Hyunjin of SKZ who paints masterpieces to destress. I eat plenty of Korean food and visit HMart too much. But i've never been a picky eater. I'll try anything twice. 

So yeah this was all because of K-POP but I'm lucky I found them when I did because things have only gotten better since.

#mapofmysoul #me #mental health #rant #truth #jungkook #suga #stray kids #bts #kpop #bang chan #skz #bangtan #stay #army #I.N #Jin #rm #namjoon #jhope #jimin #taehyung #v #Lee know #changbin #jeongin #han #felix #seungmin #svt

[falsebooles123]

Diary of a Horror Buff 8.29.22

Ugh bitches I just got a new car. well new to me. I am filled with an absense of emotion. Do you ever look at your life and you don't really feel excited for anything just anxious about the new stress that it will introduce to yourself???? maybe theres something wrong with me?

well fuck that heres some gifs of music cars.

it turns out that I can't think off of a lot of pop songs about driving cars that are also a metaphor for fucking.

anyway fuck this lets talk about what I watched last night.

Dressed to Kill (1980) dir. Brian de Palma

OK so I didn't HATE this.

but lets be honest it is problamatic.

so dressed to kill is one of those thrillers that came out were woopsie doodle the serial killer just so happens to be trans, (and/or suffering form DoD, they get conflated, (and patholigized), a lot).

So unlike say Silence of the Lambs this one focuses a lot less on the whole tranvestite serial killer bit and is just more about following around a hooker who witnessed the first murder.

also this movie is super fucking horny. It literally starts with a woman fingering herself in a shower, For me it says hey titties in case anyone forgot what they look like. To be honest there is a very deliberate conflation between sexuality and violence in this film thats not subtle. Also a lot of repressed women sexuality but luckily that one chick gets DICKED DOWN before she gets brutally murdered.

This is a giallo-lite thriller with lots of titties, violence, and honestly a lot of stuff that did not age well. So now you know.

Midnight Snack (2014) dir. David Romero

ok so apparently David Romero is on Tumblr. Badass.

So first can I just say that I love everything about this. The protaganist, the classic style ghost story, his animation style. Like he did a 3d modeled set that he hand animated over I mean who doesn't fucking love that. Mother fucking icon.

The Clockwork Elves (2020) dir. Nick Cross

"[[Content warning:: Contains flashing imagery, cartoon violence & sexuality]]

The Clockwork Elves could be a pyschotropic exploration of spirituality and death - or it could be a tale of a little goofball hopped up on goofballs. Either way - it's a cartoon."

Ok this was an absolute fucking bop, imagine over the garden wall, ( I've never actually seen OTGW, my ex boyfriend and my desire to do mouth stuff was greater then watching quality television). but set to an acid trap song and trippy visuals.

congradulations this is like a beginners friendly episode of Midnight Gospel.

ok did anyone ever finish that show, I tried watching it but my brain literally melted.

ok I still feel bad for not watching it but in my defense my ex boyfriend was really hot.

LÍNEA 17 (2021) dir. Diego García Figueroa

oh I love a good subway horror. I mean one of these days I'll watch midnight meat train.

So this is a short film anout a young woman in latin america who is riding the subway when the lights flicker and some creepy monster starts stalking her.

this was definetly a great little short film and I had a lovely time watching it.

Undress Me ALTER (2017) dir. Amelia Moses

Content Warning: Gore, Blood, Self-Harm, Akward Virgin Sex.

We stan an akward queen.

Homegirl is just throwing herself at that dick but like at the same time like relatable like it totally reminds me of the first couple times I've fucked and like its awkward. You either come off to strong, (or like the first time), it takes us watching the entirity of Always Be My Maybe before they kiss me.

I'm just saying if you don't grab my ass by the 34 minute mark I'm doing something wrong.

this was the only relevent thing that came up when I typed in "Netflix and Chill" which accurate but still.

Ok but actually plot time chick gets that dick and goes and then proceeds to get that pryon disease from Cabin Fever so theres a lot of body horror and gore.

ok there are not a lot of good clips from that movie on here apparently.

Limp CRYPT TV (2019) dir. Benjamin Baraad

Honestly fuck the demons thats just how people treat people that have non visuable disabilities.

also I love how this girl is literally dealing with suddenly becoming disabled and her mom is like OMG how did you get a D In math. like fuck your disablities and the things that make you happy.

omfg

"you lied to me alyssa IM JUST HAPPY YOUR FATHER ISN'T ALIVE TO SEE WHAT YOUR'VE BECOME".

WHAT DID SHE BECOME BITCH, SOMEBODY WHOS OVERCOMING STRUGGLES AND UNFAIRNESS IN LIFE. EAT A COOKIE AND CHOKE ON IT.

but also that demon is also kinda a bitch just saying.

Sinner Circus (2013) dir. Jon Kondelik, James Kondelik

one of my favorite crypt tv shorts.

I will never apoligize for enjoying media in which people get revenge on there abusers.

Also we stan a carnie that speaks entirely in rhymes.

Occupied CRYPT TV (2015) dir. Mitchell Kerby, Taylor Kerby

"I've been alive 20 years and I still don't know what to do when someone knocks on the door when I'm using it" - that one tweet.

so yeah this is the sotry of a hot guy having to use the bathroom and this rude ghost keeps banging on the stall. Like ghost bruh if you he wanted to cruise he would have sucked your dick by now.

My House ALTER (2020) dir. Alexander Edep

ok so we love the vibes. surburbia horror vibes and fucked up board game mechanics, whats not to love.

what a lovelingly fucked up movie we stan.

Carol Anne is Dead (2009) dir. Michael Robinson

ok this is basically a family home movie recreation of Poltergeist, everyones favorite blockbuster horror.

supposedly Michael Robinson "rid[es] the fine lines between humor and terror, nostalgia and contempt, ecstasy and hysteria."

so I assume that this type of strange home video is an intentional post modern interpretation of nostaglia and childhood.

either that or somenbodies random ass home movie just reached cinema status.

Rapunzel (2018) dir. Hans Stjernswärd

Ok home girl was like sorry I'm just trying to get dicked down and her home girls are OMG but why can't you party with us.

I'm just saying homegirl had perfectly fine prioties.

so as far as I can gather this is a series of films that were meant to be modern horror adaptations of Fairy Tales, with the Little Mermaid being another one of these.

Honestly I'm rooting for these two and will won't to see a feature length movie of this at my next earliest convience.

anyway whores thats all the movies for today. We have two more days of this before the challenge is over.

#david romero #diary #horror #horrormovies #horror shorts #Youtube

[phantomnostalgist]

An Interview with Terry Pratchett, 1996

Spoiler-free review of Terry Pratchett's Phantom-inspired Discworld novel "Maskerade" from BTM #11, and interview with him from BTM #12 (conducted by Sarah Hopkins).

What inspired you to use the Phantom's story as part of the basis for "Maskerade"?

I don't know! I've been aware of the story ever since I was a teenager because when you start to read fantasy you can't help but run across it. I've read the book, seen the musical and several film versions (including the ones "derived" from the original story) but none of this was as a result of deliberate policy - it was just general cultural grazing. I was very impressed by Lloyd Webber's Phantom, as much because of the stagecraft as anything else. And the music of course.

But Maskerade is at least equally about the sheer frantic, claustrophobic, self-obsessed madness which drives opera. Almost all the action takes place at Ankh-Morpok's opera house at night or in shadows, in a world where it's very hard to know what's real at the best of times. As is often the case when Granny Weatherwax becomes involved, a sub-text is about the distinctions between reality and fantasy and the dangers of confusing the two (both are fine - it's allowing one to completely dominate the other that is the evil).

I suppose I should stress this: the "Phantom" plot (which isn't a re-run of the classic plot but maybe shadows it in a way that "Wyrd Sisters" shadows Macbeth) is only a thread behind and around which the other threads unwind. For example, because she's afraid of voices which appear to come from her mirror, Christine (who is beautiful but has a voice like a whistle) changes rooms with Agnes, a girl from Granny Weatherwax's home country of Lancre, who is fat and plain but has a phenomenal singing voice - so there's room for the traditional comedy of the right thing happening to the wrong people, for starters...

How will your interpretation differ from Erik's previous incarnations?

In a way Granny Weatherwax (assisted by Nanny Ogg) has to become a detective, but because she's a witch she's dealing with things at a deeper and darker level than the mere fingerprints and indeed she's as much interested in whydunnit as whodunniet. She's the first to spot the obvious read for the Opera Ghost's schizophrenia, simply by thinking clearly. The opera folk are so used to tortured plots, romance and people in masks that they don't see the blindingly obvious precisely because it's obvious. I can't go on without revealing crucial details!

What do you feel is the appeal of the character that is has been returned to so many times by so many different people?

The character of the Phantom fascinates but does not necessarily appeal (this is Granny Weatherwax thinking). In the musical he kills two quite blameless people, besides blackmailing the Opera and the inference is that this is somehow okay if you are a romantically tortured soul who looks dashing in a mask. I was initially affronted by this. Do you not grieve for the innocent dead? In much the same vein Thomas Harris, in the Silence of the Lambs, succeeds in presenting Hannibal Lecter as a hero despite the fact that he's just killed two policemen whose only fault was to be nicer to him than he deserved. The suggestion in the musical is that style has its own morality. This drives Granny Weatherwax wild and doesn't appeal to me much, either.

I preferred the character of Erik in the book. He seemed to me much more to be pitied, far more a monster created by the Frankenstein of society in general. The morality of the book works in a way that the slicker musical does not.

What areas of the Phantom's legend are explored in Maskerade?

I look at the fairly obvious things: why he's there, how he moves invisibly, how he can get around the theatre so quickly...

Many of your most successful characters are in some way outside the so-called real world and so have a certain amount of trouble dealing with it. Do you find this type of character more fun to write and does Erik fit into this category?

Really? Most of us are outside the real world in some way. There's not much narrative mileage in a perfectly balanced character.

Do you believe the Phantom really existed?

In the most basic real sense? I know of no evidence that he did; I've always assumed that Gaston's comments about the skeleton were part of the set-up. But he's as real as Sherlock Holmes.

- Beneath the Mask #12, Spring 1996

(Plz ignore Pterry's incorrect use of "schizophrenia"!)

#terry pratchett #sir terry pratchett #discworld #maskerade #phantom of the opera #the phantom of the opera #pterry #granny weatherwax #beneath the mask

[novantinuum]

The whole "Steven turning into a monster is a way to call people with mental illnesses monsters, and he got cured by a hug" take is one of the worst ones I've seen. Like, if someone thinks this, were you paying attention? At all? Steven felt upset and monstrous for all the stuff that happened in Future (people leaving him, shattering Jasper, Diamond projection, etc) and that made him feel disgusted with himself. He transformed into a monster because he /felt/ like one, not because the mentally ill are monsters. And the whole "cured with a hug thing" was his family showing that they accepted him. Even if he isn't the "lovable classic Steven" he once was. It was a step in the right direction, Steven knowing that his family still loves and supports him through everything. And because he felt safe enough to, he cried.

(Sorry for going off in your inbox like that, I was just thinking of this today though, and seeing you post about the same thing just inspired me to go off a little.)

No need for apologies, ahah! I’ve been there XD

Also, I 100% agree with this! I see Steven turning into a monster as representative of the self-loathing and distorted view of reality that often assails individuals who are dealing with mental illness. At that moment in time, all of the mistakes Steven had made (which, some of them ARE genuinely mistakes that he’ll have to eventually own up to- see: Jasper) had convinced him that he wasn’t worthy of change or atonement, wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love or worry, because he’s just a shattering monster and that’s all he’ll be forever. Not to mention, the whole visit with White Diamond had convinced him that he truly has DESIRE to shatter, when in actuality, no- he never made a move in reality to shatter White Diamond, it was all hallucinations, and one’s intrusive thoughts are not in fact an accurate representation of what a person truly believes or wants. In many cases, they’re actually what a person fears or hates the most. Which is why they’re intrusive.

In SUF, Steven is going through that oh-so-relatable mental illness experience of “everyone else deserves love and support and isn’t forever chained to their past mistakes and can grow and change, but of course I am the one exception to this rule.” The more we the audience think about that sentiment it doesn’t make sense! It’s hypocritical in a really sad way. And that’s exactly the point. When you’re in a spot like this, dealing with trauma, dealing with all the mental baggage that comes as a result, you are not able to see the reality around you clearly. You are often not able to understand the pathways of your own mental processes clearly. 

What the Crystal Gems and Greg and Connie and the Diamonds did in episode 19 did nothing to immediately improve Steven’s ability to better understand the leaps and backflips his mind takes amidst his trauma to convince himself that he’s worthless and unworthy of love. All they did was affirm that- even if he can’t understand why at this moment- they DO love him, and they will always love him. And I honestly can’t express just how important this type of affirmation is amidst early recovery.

The hug was not a cure. The hug was just a baby step. The hug was just their attempt to carry him down from what essentially reads as a souped-up diamond version of a panic attack.

True, holistic healing did not happen in just a few minutes, nor did true, holistic healing happen by the end of episode 20.

Healing and recovery is something that takes TIME and work. It’s something that may involve one or even a combination of various tactics... support groups, talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, medication, non-pharmacologic remedies like massage therapy or sun lamps or acupuncture, etc. etc. etc. There’s tons of things people turn towards to relieve stress and begin to understand the workings of their own mind, and how to better cope, and I could never hope to name them all.

We actually see some of these tactics in episode 20. For instance, Steven has an exercise routine now. (Keeping active can do wonders to relieve stress and encourage release of endorphins!) He’s been visiting his friends instead of secluding himself away like in earlier episodes. He mentions that he’s been seeing a therapist, and plans on continuing this over his trip. He is expressing healthier tendencies when it comes to sharing his non-happy emotions instead of bottling them up. He’s not perfect at this yet. No one’s recovery is going to be perfect, nor will it be a continuous upward journey. There will be good days, and there will be bad days. That’s natural. But he is clearly trying, and that’s worthwhile.

IMO, I can understand the sentiment of “I wish SUF explored Steven’s mental health recovery in more depth,” because part of me also wishes that. But in the end, I believe the fandom needs to come to accept that there are certain dimensions of that recovery process that are just too raw and personal for a show on a kid’s cartoon channel to realistically tackle in a satisfying way. So to compensate for that, Crewniverse gave us a broad framework. They fed us details that showed he is on that path of recovery now.

They are encouraging us to fill in the blanks.

Which is absolutely why much of my post-SUF fanfiction has been seeking to do exactly that.

But quite honestly, I’m really tired of the whole idea that “Crewniverse wants us to believe Steven is 100% ‘cured’ of mental illness by episode 20,” because that’s simply not true.

#jen rambles #su #su future #steven universe #su meta #Anonymous

[shamelessllamapeanutthing]

My LoveBlossom playlist

(It is angsty as hell, for obvious reasons, focussing more on their relationship as teenagers. Song meanings and POVs elaborated on down under but in case you want the direct Spotify link and don't wanna read through the crap, here you go-

Blame game- mxmtoon

So I actually think this song works very well in both Cherry's and Adam's POVs.

Adam- because let's be real for a second here, he doesn't think what he is doing is in any way wrong or harmful. Adam is a character in need of help, and twisted as his idea of love is of course he'd take Cherry's unwillingness to put up with his abuse as betrayal, and that Cherry doesn't love him etc etc. I do imagine he, himself was pretty heartbroken when his and Cherry's relationship fell through. Here's a quote from the song-

'And I know,

That it's not the first time,

That I've given so much away to be left with,

Someone who just won't stay.'

Cherry- He is very righteously upset about who Adam is becoming and how he treats people. These lyrics from the song come to mind-

'And I heard,

You say your goodbye

But denial is my greatest skill,

Bending the truth to feed wishes of will.'

These differing narratives and blaming the other person on both of their parts, just makes the title hit harder.

Cherry- Lana Del Rey

(and no I didn't add it because it has Cherry's name in it XD)

The intensity of emotion and the darker thrills of being in love that Lana sings about in this song are how I see younger Cherry viewing their relationship in the very beginning.

'A touch

From your real love

Is like heaven taking the place of something evil

And letting it burn off from the rush.'

Dangerous- Big Data ft. Joywave

This song has Adam written all over it. It deals with how intensely he feels emotions and how he thinks his love, despite the inherent dangers that come with him as a person, is worth everything. It also talks about a need to get away and disappear and just- it is Shindo Ainosuke's theme song in my head.

'You understand, I got a plan for us,

I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous,

It must be fate, I found a place for us,

I bet you didn't know someone could love you this much.'

Devil Side- Foxes

Cherry struggles to find and hold on to the Adam he fell in love with.

'I want you

Not for your devil side,

Not for your dangerous mind,

Just for you.

So tell me why,

It's always your devil side

It's always your dangerous mind

And never you.

So who's gonna save you now, who's gonna save you?'

Hurt People- Jack & Jack

A nice pop hit about the cycle of hurt and pain that never truly seems to end. Here are some verses-

'Thought we had a chance, that's true,

But you have weapons,

Didn't know you have weapons.

Now I am insecure and stressed out,

When someone gets close, I shut down.'

...

'Hurt people, hurt people,

Hurt people, so lethal,

'round and 'round we go,

Guess we're used to the pain.'

Icarus- Bastille

I feel like this song works from three different POVs for two different instances.

First, it depicts Adam's descent into insanity. He flew too close to the sun, yes and yet the song goes on to say-

'Icarus is flying too close to the sun,

Icarus' life has only just begun.'

Which I feel is a good parallel for the freedom Adam thinks he has achieved in this spell of hatred and loneliness that he has cast around himself.

Further, the song has another verse-

'You put up your defences when you left,

You left because you're certain,

Of who you want to be.'

Secondly, the song can also be a metaphor for Cherry and Joe's ditch efforts at trying to protect and save Adam, which ultimately result in grievous hurt to Cherry.

'Your hands protect the flames,

From the wild winds around you.'

...

'This is how it feels to take a fall,

Icarus is flying towards an early grave.'

I come with knives- IAMX

ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM ADAM

'I never promised you an open heart or charity,

I never wanted to abuse your imagination.

I come with knives, I come with knives,

To love you.'

It's all in vain- Wet

The first time I heard this song it gave me big Cherry vibes, but the more time I spend with it, the more I see Adam in it.

I see an Adam who's losing his faith in his relationship with Cherry because he walked in to that relationship with messed up standards for love, anyways. He doesn't believe Cherry loves him, even though he desperately wants to be loved. He doesn't feel seen or understood, and he knows it's driving their relationship towards its end.

'Tell me baby, tell me slowly,

All the things you couldn't show me,

Tell me one more time before I leave,

Now I see you hardly know me,

Look at you, you look right through me,

Tell me one more time before I go.'

Just give me a reason- P!nk ft. Nate Ruess

Hear this song as a conversation between an Adam who's beginning to lose himself and his love and a Cherry desperately trying to hold on to him and assure him they're all right. Read this verse as bold for Adam and Italics for Cherry. (The song is sung by two people so you'll clearly be able to see the distinction.)

'Oh, tears ducts and rust.'

'I'll fix it for us.'

'We're collecting dust.'

'But our love is enough.'

'You're holding it in.'

'You're pouring a drink.'

'No, nothing is as bad as it seems.'

'We'll come clean.'

Love Runs Out- OneRepublic

Adam giving himself over to the thrill of the kill, so to speak.

'I'll be your light, your match, your burning sun,

I'll be the bright in black, that's making you run,

And I feel alright, yeah I feel alright,

Cause I worked it out, yeah I worked it out,

I'll be doing this, if you have a doubt,

Till the love runs out, till the love runs out.'

Pretty when you cry- Lana Del Rey

Broken-hearted Cherry vibes.

'I'll wait for you babe,

It's all I do, babe,

Don't come through babe,

You never do,

Because I am pretty when I cry.'

Reckless Love- BLEACHERS

Cherry trying to come to terms with how unhealthy and toxic his relationship is, and how he still finds himself unable to distance himself from Adam.

'I could use a bad disguise,

To guard me on the darkest nights,

I keep finding my way to the harshest words,

I got a strange, strange vision of a reckless love.'

Take What You Want- ONE OK ROCK, ft. 5SOS

The aftermath of their dramatic ass breakup. Cherry's POV.

'I don't want anything in our broken home,

Not the memories or the things we own,

Not the picture of us on the wall,

So take what you want.'

...

'Can you hear me?

I am trying to hear you.

Silence strikes like a hurricane.

I am singing for you.

You're screaming at me.

It's hard to see your tears in the pouring rain.'

You Give Love a Bad Name- Bon Jovi

(come on guys this is me there was bound to be at least one classic rock song somewhere in there.)

(also, also, shouldn't this be like our fandom-wide Adam anthem?)

'Shot through the heart, and you're to blame,

Darlin' you give love a bad name.'

#sk8 infinity #playlist #loveblossom #past loveblossom #adam x cherry #kaoru sakurayashiki #ainosuke shindo #Spotify

[romaniandollar]

K-dramas I watched this year:

1. Goblin (2016)

The adventures of an immortal goblin, an equally immortal grim reaper and a young girl with a special gift as they work together to break the curse of immortality and figure out their connection that spans across centuries.

When you want a beautiful romance with just a touch of the supernatural, this drama is perfect. It made me feel a lot of things and each of the characters was well-developed and had ample time to shine, making you root for all of them. One of the best dramas I've seen. 10/10.

2. You're All Surrounded (2014)

An action cop flick that follows the growth of four young cops into detectives as together they uncover an unsolved case that may expose the top brass of their area. A fun watch with a good storyline and lovable characters. 8/10.

3. My Love From Another Star (2014)

An alien who got stranded on earth during the Jooseon era has been waiting for centuries to return to his home planet. When he finally gets his chance and begins wrapping up his ties on earth to head home, a top actress living next door makes things much more complicated.

The classic romance of 2014 that every k-drama lover should see at least once, whether you love it or hate it. The characters are very well fleshed out and developed over the course of the series and the two leads have excellent chemistry. Where (in my personal opinion) the story drags a bit too much, it's the characters that carry it and keep your interest to the end. The end will still call for tissues though. 8/10.

4. Meow ~ The Secret Boy (2020)

The tale of a young artist as she finds her place in life, makes new friends and gains closure with old ones.

If you're a cat lover like me, you'll enjoy this one. Of course, our own furry friends may not have the ability to transform into a handsome boy, but I'm sure we all treasure them just as much. A cute story that's simple to follow, though slightly predictable. 7/10.

5: Touch Your Heart (2019)

After a bad scandal, the country's top actress is desperate for a job. When she manages to score a lead role, she needs to prepare by getting some work experience in a small but successful law firm, under their best lawyer. But will they manage to work together, or will sparks fly?

The plot may be slightly cliche, but this is the cutest drama I've ever seen. The leads have incredible chemistry, and fans of the Grim Reaper/Sunny duo in Goblin? You'll definitely want to see this pair back in a setting that's far kinder to them than Goblin. If you love a cute couple that makes you squee this is the one to watch. I binged this series faster than anything else. 9/10.

6. Because This Is My First Life (2017)

A story that delves into the age old question: what is marriage, really? This follows a struggling writer who needs a place to live and a cat-loving programmer who needs someone to split the rent with. When his parents won't leave him be when it comes to marriage, the two sign a contract and go for the most logical option that suits both their needs. But does love ever find its way into their lives? Do they need each other more than they think?

A thoughtful drama that delves into social issues. 8/10.

7: I-LAND (2020)

I'm not one for survival shows usually, and this showed me why - it's too damn stressful! When I saw I-LAND beginning to air, I jumped the bandwagon and followed it to the end. But when all the boys are loveable and talented and deserve to debut, you end up rooting for all of them and it becomes especially difficult to see them sent home one by one. I'm still not entirely satisfied with the final group which has since successfully debuted (ENHYPEN), but it was a wild ride from start to finish. 8/10.

8: It's Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

The one the internet's been buzzing about. A children's author with anti-social personality disorder, a troubled orderly and his autistic brother are brought together and find that while they all have issues that need unpacking, it's okay, and together they can help not only each other but others to heal with time.

With Kim Soo-Hyun's return to the silver screen, it was promising from the start. And boy was it a ride to remember. The chemistry between the two leads is incredible, the story keeps your attention from start to finish, and the rest of the characters are all strongly developed and hold their own. Definitely worth watching even if you're not a drama fan. One of the best dramas I've seen. 10/10.

9. Flower of Evil (2020)

Finally, a thriller! This story follows a cop who's passionate about her work , and her husband, who seems to be the perfect partner for their perfect family. But when cases start pointing to her husband as the culprit, and an old, unsolved case uncovers his dark past, what will become of their relationship? When her husband springs into action, is it to cover his tracks or to protect his family from an even greater danger?

A gripping drama that holds your attention until the end and gives us that friendly reminder that we may not really know those close to us until we see them at their most desperate. 9/10.

I love good dramas, and I look forward to seeing more next year as well!

#kdrama #goblin the lonely and great god #you're all surrounded #my love from another star #meow the secret boy #i-land #touch your heart #because this is my first life #it's okay to not be okay #flower of evil

[sunagitsunee]

Hey! I really like reading your thoughts. Do you think Levi seems totally unphased in the paths dimension and doesn't really care what the kids are doing? Of course he's tired and depressed but I was just wondering since I've seen a lot of people saying this.

Omg you're so kind to me when all I do is rant lmaooo.

I thought people were saying it as a joke? Are there people really saying he isn't interested???

In case they are--I actually think it's the opposite. What I saw in that chapter was Levi slowly regaining his soldier demeanor despite obviously still in mourning. His pattern had always been like that every major setback. His way of honoring the person he had just lost is actually getting back to his headspace to make sure whatever was entrusted upon him last is still happening, if that makes sense.

For example, his eyes still look empty as hell, soulless for the entitety of 133. HOWEVER he does care about his colleagues because instead of wallowing, he immediately consulted with Armin to draw up a plan with Hange's suspicion (and Erwin's last wager) in mind.

In Paths, he doesn't look surprised outwardly, and of course being tired and sad is a part of it, but also my best guess is that Hange had probably left him with more info off-panel so he has an idea of it. Remember, he was also the first one to point out that Eren might have been listening. (Take note of the stress-lines under his eye and the brow, this is classic Levi.)

When they were trying to make Eren talk by making individual statements, in fact, Eren only reacted some moments after he said this (again, take note of the eye and the brow):

He was also the first to notice Eren (still standing):

And then on the subsequent panels he was shown to be sitting. Not because he doesn't care about what's happening. That's what he does when he's trying to absorb everything that's going on (like how he always sits in far corners of the room whenever there's a meeting). Also this is the moment he realized that all their plans aren't going to work, including facing Zeke head-on.

Lastly, he was also the first one to address Armin after Paths to shake him out of stupor:

So I don't get it that there'd be people saying he doesn't care anymore (probably the same set of people who's saying he is blinded with his obsession with Zeke). By now we all should know that Levi's love language is of service and trust. So everything he does in 133 is actually of concern despite looking physically distant. He was trying his best to be the good old Levi-heichou for them.

#sorry it got long #snk 133 #aot 133 spoilers #levi ackerman #i know yams kinda didnt do well in pacing the past few chapters but if there's one character i always check for consistency it's levi #long post #mundane