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writing-whump · 5 months

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i need to catch up still on the new stories, but i also need to send this before i fall asleep 🗣️🗣️ for your consideration: one of the trouple already having an uneasy stomach due to sickness/nerves/bad food, but then during movie night they put on a gory movie and they loose their weak hold 🙈

(I'm thinking Zaya, bc he's soooo put together, but I dont think gore affects that man at all. Although it would be funny if fictional gore got to him and real one not at all??)

anyway, off to bed now 💕

Gory movie

Deals with the fallout of the heart episode, so add some angst and confrontations before the movie starts :D. Great idea, though, thank you!

When Isaiah woke up the next morning, huddled under Matthew's arm, the first thing he registered was the lack of pain. His chest didn't feel like he was getting stabbed with a screwdriver with every heartbeat. He held his eyes closed as he breathed, enjoying the most pleasurable sensation in the world - just existing without pain.

Then the memories of the night came rushing in. The tiredness and nausea, the lost balance, the feeling like he was weighing down a ton and couldn't move, the panic, the vomiting, the tears...oh dear god, did he truly cry in front of Matthew like that? Complaining about the pain, whining like a little kid?

Isaiah felt absolutely mortified. He freed himself from the tangle of blankets, letting Matthew slide down on his pillow, sleeping deeply. The redhead had dark circles under his eyes and Isaiah remembered his warmth, like a hold the whole night to keep him up in a vertical position.

This was horrible.

Isaiah tiptoed around the room, feeling slightly dazed, his chest stiff and sensitive to the touch, but it was nothing against the night horror.

The first thing he got taken care of was the dry vomit next to the bed. Then he got the windows covered and closed the room, letting Matthew hopefully sleep some more while he took a long cold shower to wake himself up, getting rid of the offending sweaty smell.

He got himself a fresh set of clothes and a bathrobe on top, got a mint tea and huddled in blankets at the balcony. How was he supposed to look at Matthew again after this? After letting him see him in such a horrible state?

Isaiah was used to the episodes. They got bad sometimes, but he never had anyone witness them aside from the occasional insight or suspicion Sonny got. He went to a shadow check-up to a private clinic with a wolf leading the research being Sonny's close friend. A reliable wolf to keep it secret.

There they told him his shadow had stress damage serious enough that it rebounded and hurt his physical body as well.

Emotions were hard for shadow wolves. They either got out through the shadow or through human means, but since Isaiah allowed neither of these during his years working for his father, his shadow literally scared over. It had damage on it when he pushed it flat to the floor and that damage went back to his physical body. He could see it himself when he looked at the deepest layer.

The researcher told him to get checked at a human clinic, that they would know better how to diagnose damage outside the shadow, but Isaiah refused. He couldn't stand to go there, ask them to examine him like he was a normal human, for damage he was not supposed to have as a wolf. He couldn't stand getting results that would confirm he had serious issues with his heart now, something visible, tangible and real that could impair his life. Damage that could not be undone, would drag itself over with him for years to come.

He couldn't stand even the thought of getting something like that confirmed. It wasn't worth the pain medication or the help or any other thing they could give him.

He couldn't stand to hear he would be a burden to his pack, that they would have to deal with this lasting weakness. He just couldn't.

Yeah, the episodes happened from time to time, sometimes due to stress or bad food or overwork or bad weather...but they got a lot of better since he moved in with Seline and Matt - he didn't have a serious episode in three months - and only minor pain from changing weather or a cold here and there. Something he could ignore or pretend away well enough.

Until now.

He buried his face in his hands, elbows braced on his knees as he tried to think what to do next.

***

When Matthew finally woke up, it was almost lunchtime. Which was fine by Isaiah, since it gave him time to cook a proper meal, roasted beef and rice.

"'orning," Matthew said as he walked in, rubbing at his eyes. He still looked sleepy, but he sat down at the table.

Isaiah wasted no time putting the plate with the meal in front of him, steaming and fresh. "Here you go."

"Hmmm. What's this?" Matthew eyed him with scrunched eyes. "Is this your way of saying thanks? Cause I didn't help you out to get a lunch out of it. Though I won't complain."

Isaiah rolled his eyes. "That's an apology for yesterday."

Matthew dug into the food with excitement, munching on the meat. "You don't have to apologize. But I would like to know the plan. When are you getting that checked out?"

Isaiah frowned and turned away to put the dishes out of the dishwasher. "There is nothing to 'check out'. I'm fine. You just caught me at a bad moment. Nothing happened."

"Aha. Good try. You definitely need to schedule a checkup at the hospital or something. That wasn't normal. You said it yourself."

"I'm alright. There is nothing for anyone to find out."

"Uhm. You said it happens often. And you act like it's been going on for a while. Months? Years? How often did it happen since we moved in together?" When he saw Isaiah taking a breath, he continued. "How many times did you hide it until it became unbearable like yesterday?"

Isaiah turned to him abruptly, anger flashing in his eyes. "I said I was fine. It was just a rare episode. I'm sorry you had to see that, I truly am, but let's not make a big deal out of it."

Matthew stood up, the whole table shaking as he braced his hands on it. "Don't give me that crap. I don't want your apologies, I want you to get fucking better!"

Isaiah winced. There was no way this was ever getting better. He knew of his shadow, the scars printed deeply into it. He was not getting rid of that and he was not getting rid of the heart pain. The shadow was the wolf's soul. And his was crippled, he knew that. But that his body reflected those scars was his damage, his problem, his shame. Not something he wanted Matthew to dig into.

"Isaiah," Matthew said, struggling to control his voice instead of shouting. "you don't have to suffer through it. What if they can help you? What if there are ways to cure-"

Isaiah smiled bitterly. "Who would help? What hospital exactly would be equipped to deal with a sick wolf? How would they prevent this from getting out to other packs? Do you know how many enemies we have? Me, specifically? Besides, there is no cure." Not for shadow damage. Isaiah gulped down heavily. The whole conversation was making his chest tight, his stomach flipping inside him angrily. It was too soon after the episode, he was still too sensitive and out of it.

"What if there is? Why can't you just-"

"Stop that. This debate is pointless, anyway. I'm perfectly capable of defending myself and you and Seline. If no packs sniff this out, it would be better, but I could still take them. We can fight here and now and I could still take you."

Matthew's eyes narrowed, dark brown and serious, almost red in the sunlight streaming through the kitchen. "That is not the issue here. I don't care about how strong you are, I'm freaking worried about you!"

"Well, I'm too strong for you to worry about me, I assure you," Isaiah said coldly.

Matthew balled his hands into fists at his sides helplessly. "That's not what I-...damn it all. I don't know how to say what you need to hear, but Zaya, this can't go on like this. I'm sure Seline will be able to explain-"

"Don't you dare," Isaiah hissed through his teeth, "to mention this to Seline. I will never forgive you if you do. And I'll deny it."

It was Matthew's turn to wince, eyes widening. "She should know. Don't you trust her enough for this?"

Seline should know? For what, so she could leave him? What witch would want a damaged wolf with heart issues? He would not want himself if he knew.

Was it fair he was deceiving her about that? Then again, he was strong. He could power through the pain and never let it be seen, never let it prevent him from being powerful, when she needed him. He could do as much.

Matthew watched him with that intense glare. "Wait. No. It's not about trust. You are ember-"

"This conversation is over. And we are not talking about it again," Isaiah cut him off, turning away to continue with the dishes like nothing had happened, tensing his hands to stop them from shaking.

He could feel Matthew standing, glaring and fuming behind him for a while before he stormed off out of the apartment. Probably for a run. That was a good coping mechanism.

***

"This is ridiculous. What happened between you two?" Seline asked for the umpteenth time that evening.

Isaiah thought he handled the conversation well. Cut Matthew off at the right time. It was not his business, getting mixed up in his pain, his shadow, issues he had no place knowing about or suffering through. They were Isaiah's past life, past sins, suffering he deserved for abandoning his brothers, for not questioning orders, for not finding out sooner what he did. And he was not about to burden his closest people with it.

He had no expected for the atmosphere to be so tense though. Matthew respected his wish not to talk about it or tell Seline, but he was pissed and grumpy day. When he wasn't snapping at Seline or giving Isaiah death glares, he was finding the furthest corner of the room from him.

It was surprisingly hard to tolerate.

Seline for her part, didn't notice for the better part of the day. She came down talking about the essay she was preparing about apocalyptic movies, told him about the series of poems she wrote yesterday night, the story she wrote for a magazine and the new book she found...it amazed him how many thoughts could be in one person, how many worlds and realities Seline had in her head. It relaxed him to listen, to get lost so deep in something else.

Seline flowed through the day as if nothing happened and it was easier to pretend nothing was wrong. Gave a great opportunity to forget about it in fact, a move he would recommend to Matthew as well.

"Nothing happened. We just had a little squabble in the morning and Matthew is still hung upon it," Isaiah explained with an eye roll, throwing his arm around Seline on the couch. He needed her presence, her warmth against his side. His insides melted and relaxed at the touch and breathing in her scent was downright healing.

Seline gave him a skeptical look but leaned into him happily. "I don't know...it's so rare for you guys to argue..."

"Had to happen sometime." Isaiah shrugged. He was also very unused to it, especially with how physically comfortable they have become with each other. He missed Matthew's presence at his other side like they always sat during a movie night. It left him feeling cold.

Not to mention he was still shaky and weak from last night and the stress from the argument had his stomach tied up in knots. He drank nothing but mint tea to take it easy on his abused belly, but he still felt vaguely nauseous. His middle was all sloshy from the amounts of liquid he packed into it, slightly bulging under his loose cardigan.

"Matt, come on. We can put on something yours today," Seline called after Matthew, who stood undecidedly leaning against the wall in the hallway. They stopped him on the way to his room, but he couldn't seem to make himself join them on the couch.

"Even a horror movie is fine," Seline said with a light grimace.

Matthew perked up at that, finally crossing the distance. He sat down on the other end of the couch though, not looking at Isaiah once. "Then I got just the thing for you."

"No animals getting hurt though," Seline added quickly, snuggling closer into Isaiah's side.

If Seline held on to him like that the whole movie, Isaiah wouldn't complain, though he had no particular taste for horror or goriness. He had seen his fair share of real-life blood, so he doubted anything could surprise him.

Matthew put the movie on, stretching out on his stomach, head to the TV, legs to them, which Isaiah guessed was another way to show his disapproval of him. Oh well.

They watched in silence for a bit, interrupted only by Matthew’s sadistic laughs and Seline’s little squeals. Isaiah suspected a bit she was overreacting for his sake, pressing her face against his chest or wrapping her hands around his arm or neck, tagging at him. It was the sweetest thing.

He was too distracted to really watch the movie, occasionally taking a look, but the plot was leaving things to be desired…and then the truly brutal scenes started. So much blood wouldn’t fit a person and the spraying of guts everywhere could rival the effects in Tarantino movies.

Isaiah found himself wincing at some of the shots, his stomach churning and flipping unhappily. It seemed the filmmakers were set on making it as repulsive and disgusting as possible. Especially the scenes with popping eyes had him flinching, fingers curling into his pants.

The lights and the sound effects were too much. His head was pounding, but even looking away didn’t help, the quickly changing light accompanied by the screams and scary moans reflected around the whole room. He leaned more over Seline, who was curled up in his lap, with eyes glued to the TV.

Isaiah’s stomach twisted inside him and he felt the nausea rising steadily but quickly like high tide. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to tone out the lights, but the sounds were still there, and his stomach clenched again.

Saliva flooded his mouth and a dangerous burp worked its way up his throat. This couldn’t be happening. He wouldn’t get sick from a movie, dear god.

His stomach roiled, giving a loud growl, pins and needles in his arms and ankles. Oh god, he needed out of here and fast.

Untangling himself from Seline took a bit, he was clumsy from the nausea and his own horror at needing to leave at all.

Swallowing compulsively, he hurried to the kitchen. His stomach was cramping hard at this point and he needed out of that dark loud room…

He managed to get inside the bathroom, flipping the light on and closing the doors. It muffled the sounds and the ordinary normal kind of light made the scenes seem more like distant illusions. Which they were. This was stupid, he had seen and inflicted injuries, he had been hurt and bleeding, why the hell would he react to that overdone, overstrung, way too bloody-

The reminder had him heaving over the toilet before he even knelt down, green liquid rushing out. He drank nothing but the tea all day, which gave his belly perfect ammunition.

Isaiah could not remember when was the last time he felt so nauseous. Yesterday it was the pain, bone-deep and electrifying, that took all his attention. This was just nausea, but so overwhelming it had his overly sloshy stomach purging itself violently. He braced against the toilet rim, wrapping his fingers around the cold porcelain as his stomach twisted painfully, more of the tea shooting up.

After a series of heaves that left him light-headed, he was left bracing against the toilet, head so heavy it could fall off his neck any moment. He was shaking, taking quick shuddering breaths.

His mouth tasted like rotten leaves. When the thought formulated, it had him gagging over the toilet again, but he felt so damn tired, he didn’t feel like he could lift himself up anymore.

It was the first time Isaiah felt like something was missing, when he was sick. He had gotten used to someone being present, although he used to resent the attention before. It was always Seline with her gentle concern and shy offers of belly rubs or Matthew’s callous hands and rough genuine worry…how pathetic and soft did he get, wishing any or both of them were here right now?

He burped emptily, dragging himself over to lean against the bathtub, hugging his knees to his chest loosely, to not jostle his churning belly. It was still growling and bubbling angrily, as if not all the tea got out, even after that many rounds. He felt utterly pitiful to himself, weirdly lonely and out of it.

Leaning his forehead against the top of his knees, he took deep measured breaths, hoping the churning and his speeding heartbeat wouldn’t trigger another episode, trying to ignore the muffled sounds from the living room.

He must have spaced out, because he startled when the door opened. The relief he felt at Seline’s surprised and concerned expression, her blond eyebrows meeting together as she hurried to his side to kneel beside him was indescribable. Like an icy brick melting inside his chest.

“Sweetie, what happened? Did you get sick? Was the movie too much? You should have said something, I thought you just went to the bathroom!” Seline slid down to sit beside him, one arm going around his shoulders, the other stroking his back.

Matthew appeared in the doorway as well, deep frown on his face, jaw pressed closed so tight a muscle in his cheek twitched.

Isaiah didn’t know how he must have looked, pale, sweaty and emotional form a damn movie and the hard day of having his best friend angry at him. He really messed things up today, didn’t he? He was so used to being alone, when he was in pain, but now he realized he didn’t want to anymore. Not when he didn’t have to, not when they were both here, angry when they couldn’t be.

“Sorry, I didn’t expect it to…didn’t want to ruin it for you,” he mumbled as Seline run her hand up his back and neck. He locked his gaze with Matthew’s. “I’m sorry.” He really hoped Matthew wouldn’t mention the fact it could be related to last night or that he didn’t realize his stomach was upset all day because of their morning fight.

Matthew scoffed, rolling his eyes, but there was a slight lift to the corner of his lips. “Didn’t think you of all people would have such a weak stomach. You wanna sit there all night, or do you want some help?” He stepped closer, offering his hand.

Isaiah accepted, clasping it tightly.

#emeto #vomiting #sickfic #emeto writing #whump #hurt/comfort #my writing #werewolf wip #Isaiah

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plaidbooks · 2 years

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Homegrown chapter 5

A/N: Another snapshot of these two, and it covers Stargazing in @adarafaelbarba trick or treat bingo!

Tags: none

Words: 1028

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @adowbaldwin

Lyra stretched her arms above her head as she rolled out of bed. She then went to the bathroom, starting her morning routine. Glancing in the mirror, she smiled affectionately at her mess of hair. The red strands dangling down her back in a thick tangle was impossible to brush…for a human.

Muttering a soft spell, Lyra focused her magic on her unruly locks. She felt her hair untangle, slithering like snakes until it hung limp. With practiced hands, she took the soft hair and braided it before wrapping it up into a bun and fastening it there. Lyra adored her hair, but it often got in the way, so she normally wore it up in the day, only taking it down to wash and sleep.

Her plan for the day was harvesting and watering in the garden—no need to wear her overalls. Instead, she pulled on a sunflower-yellow sundress. She smiled in the mirror as she twisted this way and that, letting the fabric swing around her hips. Giggling softly to herself, Lyra plucked her (Marthe’s) basket off the floor by her door, then headed down to the kitchen.

Unsurprisingly, Marthe was up and moving, even early in the morning. She must have heard Lyra get up, because the tea Marthe made for her daily was on the table, still steaming.

“Thank you, Marthe!” she called out, happily taking a sip. It didn’t matter where she was; Lyra knew she heard her.

“Yer up early,” a voice said from the doorway to the garden, and Lyra grinned.

“Morning, Eric,” she replied with a smile. She was a little shocked that someone like him was up this early; he seemed like a heavy sleeper. “Did you sleep well?”

He raised an eyebrow as he came fully into the kitchen, dwarfing her easily. “Did ya forget I’m a vampire, sweetheart?”

When she only gave him a confused look, he huffed out a chuckle; he was getting used to explaining things to her. “Vampires don’t sleep as often as warmbloods do.”

“Oh…how often do you sleep, then?” Lyra asked, curious—she always was, especially with him.

He took a moment to think, adding it up. “Once every other week? Maybe less if I’m busy.”

“Woooow,” she said in awe, entranced by this man and his life. “What do you do all night, then?” In a small voice, she added, almost to herself, “I could get so much gardening done.”

Gallowglass chuckled, shaking his head in the way Lyra adored, his shaggy hair bouncing. “Family business mostly. But sometimes, I read, or plot the next sailing trip I wanna take. Sometimes, I even just go somewhere quiet, watch the stars appear, then disappear in the morning.”

He was so soft when he said that last part, and she was struck with a yearning to see him like that, just soft and vulnerable—something that seemed rare with him.

“That sounds…magical,” Lyra muttered, eyes sparkling.

He smiled down at her. “Stay up with me tonight, and I’ll show ya the stars.”

************

Lyra spent her day in the garden, Gallowglass by her side, just chatting. And, as promised, he took her to the tallest tower in Sept Tours that evening. He explained that it was Matthew’s room, but since he was gone, they could be there.

He laid a blanket on the ground—normally, Gallowglass didn’t mind the cold, but he didn’t want Lyra to freeze in her summer dress, sitting on cold stone—then helped her sit. He sat next to her, head craned back to look at the sky. It was autumn, so the evening was still comfortable, but the cold winter breezes were starting to creep in.

Only the first stars were starting to appear in the darkening sky, and they both told stories from their cultures. As more and more stars appeared—and constellations were visible—they took turns pointing them out. Neither of them noticed how close they were cuddling together, both lost in the stories and each other.

“That group there is Noctua, the Owl. She grants us wisdom resourcefulness. It’s common during Mabon to burn a rat tail and bones in a tribute to her,” Lyra explained.

“Those two stars there?”

“No, just below those—see those three together, then the fourth a short way away? That’s her talons.”

Gallowglass pointed, “oh, those ones?”

“Yes, that’s her.”

After a moment, Gallowglass pointed up to another group of stars. “That there is Malus—the mast of the ship Argo Navis. Ya can see Carina, the keel, Puppis, the deck, and Vela, the sail—” he pointed to each part in the list— “she was a mighty ship, one that sailed over the edge of the world and into the stars.”

“Oh wow,” Lyra whispered, following his finger, “that group there?”

“That’d be her…. I wish I had a chance ta sail her….”

She let the silence hold for a moment before she asked, “you really love sailing, don’t you?”

“I do—if there’s anything that’s touched my heart in my long, long life, it’s sailin’.”

Lyra shifted to look up at him, but his eyes were still on the stars. The sight of the little pinpricks of light reflecting on his face made her smile for reasons she did not know. Resettling next to him, she stifled a yawn, not wanting this night to ever end.

“Tell me about your last sailing trip,” she muttered, leaning against his chest.

Gallowglass smiled before starting his tale. He talked passionately for hours, only stopping when he glanced down and found Lyra out cold, curled against his side, head on his chest. His eyes flicked over her sleeping face, unconsciously memorizing every detail he could.

Lyra awoke in the morning, tucked carefully into her bed. A smell of sea salt and mint graced her nose, and she opened her eyes to find Gallowglass’s leather jacket laying across her torso. On the bedside table was a note, and the scratchy writing said:

Sorry about the jacket, but your body was cold from the night air. Hope you slept well, and I’d love to take you sailing one day

~Eric

#gallowglass x oc #gallowglass de clermont x oc #adow #adow fanfic #fanfic #a discovery of witches fanfic #a discovery of witches #my writing #homegrown #adarafaelbarbatrickortreatbingo

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tojisbbg · 2 years

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✧ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ✧

❝i don’t know what i’m supposed to do haunted by the ghost of you, oh take me back to the night we met.❞

♡ manjiro sano ♡

chapt. 2

description: a short story in which a young girl who's having a hard time coping with the death of her family stumbles upon the presence of a young restless spirit one night.

content warnings: mikey x oc, very heavy angst, comfort (?), soft mikey, heavy fluffy romance, suicide, mentions of suicidal thoughts, swearing, death, not checked for grammatical errors.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

and just like that, two strangers who came from such different backgrounds and has such different stories with many of their own reasons, would become each other's safe space.

reasons that would one day be openly revealed, a vulnerable moment for the both of them.

it was once again three in the morning as the clock struck the hour minutes ago. nori found herself making her way back to the same park she visited yesterday, the same park where she encountered the annoying yet weirdly pleasant presence of manjiro sano.

she didn't know why she decided to come back, not even sure if he would be here tonight. and even if he was, why did she care? regardless, she was already there, walking inside the park as she made her way to the swings.

nori noticed one of the swings moving and there she saw the familiar shadow that she saw yesterday. for some odd reason, her throat went dry. her mind going blank as she almost forgot every single thing on her mind at that very moment.

"you're back!" manjiro happily exclaimed, jumping off of the swing while at an extreme height, making the girl gasp.

"what the fuck is wrong with you?! that's so dangerous, you dumbass!" nori scolded him, making him give her a cheeky smile.

"oOoOo~ are you worried about me? just say that you're in love with me." he teased, making her choke on air from how absurd his thoughts sounded.

"what? do you think that i want to be responsible when you fall and crack your shitty head open? absolutely not." she defended.

"mhm, whatever you say. you didn't deny my second statement though." manjiro half-heartedly said, fueling annoyance into her.

"we literally met yesterday and i'd rather fall in love with a tree than you." nori argued, babbling all kinds of things to make sure that she clearly drills into his head that she meant no funny business when it came to him.

"you know what, i don't even know why i'm doing all of this. whatever, why are you here again?" she decided to intrude to another topic to change the subject and thank god that he didn't decide to pry further into the quite embarrassing previous conversation.

"to pass time. i can't really sleep that well during the night." he shrugged before sitting on the ground, just like how nori was last night.

"huh, guess we're in the same boat. even the silence at night can be the loudest time of the day." she commented, taking a seat on the swing that was previously used by him.

"you got that right. it's relaxing to get out sometimes, you know?" manjiro looked at her, making her nod her head in agreement before accidentally locking eyes with him.

and they both didn't look away.

manjiro took time to notice her features that came into his view due to the beautiful lighting that was surrounding them, thanks to the moon. how her bangs would move to her forehead, thick long lashes blanketing over her cheeks, a cute red nose which was probably tinted due to the cold weather and her eyes.

beautifully dull eyes that contained no sparkle at all, just like his. a feature that both nori and manjiro was able to notice in each other. it was like a forceful pull of attraction, as if they both were two magnets that couldn't stop coming for each other.

nori was confused, lost on why a stranger that she met last night could have such an impact on her.

why him?

"i like taiyaki." he broke the silence, making her blink at him a couple of times from how weird he could get at times.

"what?" nori looked at him completely bewildered.

"it has to be taiyaki or else i won't eat it. it's because i like to sit by the river and pretend that it's swimming. oh! and it has to be warm as well, like steaming hot." he seriously spoke.

"you're so random." nori muttered under her breath.

"you said something?" manjiro asked for clarification and the girl just shook her head, denying his words.

"if you say so. what's your favorite sweet?" he asked, curious on what she might like.

"i don't have a sweet tooth." she answered, playing with the hem of her hoodie as a couple of loose threads were sticking out.

"really? you prefer like spicy and savory foods?" manjiro waited for her response.

"yeah, i really like fried chicken. it's pretty basic." she rubbed the back of her nape.

"please, i still order from the kids menu." he proudly stated, making the girl erupt into laughter.

"what?! are you being for real?" nori asked in between her laughs, finding it hard to piece her words together properly.

"of course i am. in the end, it's still food and i don't care what anyone else says, but kids meals over anything. with a flag on it, of course." manjiro made sure to mention, his smile slowly fading from the words in his last sentences that unknowingly slipped out.

"huh? i thought they stopped giving out the flags?" nori questioned, making him lean back with a small smile.

"oh, they did. ken-chin would always carry around one for me. he knew that i wouldn't eat it without the flag." manjiro chuckled while he reminisced the memories of him and an old friend.

"you made the poor guy carry a plastic shit for your own picky enjoyment? how childish." she sneered.

"it was a childhood habit that never left and he never once complained. ken-chin, that bastard really was the best." nori noticed how his eyes became glossy and momentarily, manjiro turned his head to the side for a couple of minutes before looking back at her with his usual smile.

"what about you? got any friends?" he pried into her.

"no, i'm not very social. but, there's a girl named hina in my school and i like talking to her. she's very sweet and seeing her interact with her boyfriend is like the highlight of my day. they're both so cute." she exaggerated her sentences, her eyes becoming dreamy as she thought about the couple.

they're still together? takemichi, my man, you're one of a kind.

"then we both should date so that they could goggle about us instead." manjiro suggested, and his tone was just like his usual, making it hard for nori to differentiate whether his words were satire or for real.

"oh shut up." she chuckled, making him giggle as well.

and just like that, the hour began to pass by within no time, making nori wish that somehow time could've gone a bit slower. nights like this seemed long before, excruciatingly long as the pit of loneliness continue to grow by each second.

but she could feel that pit slowly being filled by the light presence of manjiro. and him on the other hand, wished that he could've had more time but the clock was slowly ticking.

time never stopped for anyone and once the fourth hour point struck, it was time for them both to part ways.

and although nori had multiple questions lingering and flooding her head, just waiting on having the perfect moment to bombard the boy with them, she kept quiet.

...

"what?! that's insane!" roaring laughter could be heard escaping from two very loud mouths. the night was still young, well, for at least those two.

"yeah! and while me and ken-chin were literally in the middle of fighting, now i'm talking about throwing bikes and shit at each other, this fool had a huge piece of actual dog shit in his hair!" manjiro could barely breathe, somehow trying to get his words out to tell the story of an old friend from the past that he had.

nori was on the brink of tears, not remembering how long it has been since she's laughed this hard from something this stupid. but that's manjiro for you, there's always something stupid and random that exits his mouth and it'll always be the most entertaining thing the girl has ever heard.

"god, my stomach hurts." she complained, a few giggles being choked out while she was trying to calm down from that laughing high that she just went through. the boy on the other hand let out a heavy sigh, a contented smile plastered on his lips while he stared into the distance.

"i'd do anything in the world to relive those days." manjiro commented, his gaze still not on her as it seemed like he zoned out, unaware of his surroundings.

now, nori wasn't the one to pry into other people's business or personal matters, but she couldn't help but be curious.

no sane person comes out to this sketchy looking park at ungodly hours like this unless they clearly have a death wish, right? and manjiro in general seems a bit off.

his sentences, no, the wording he uses when speaking seems weird but nori just couldn't put her finger on it.

"hey, when's your birthday?" it was the first time that nori has asked him something, a genuine question or rather sentence of words that didn't imply any kind of snarky tone.

this by far caught manjiro off guard, as usually he's the one who starts off all their conversations.

"august twenty. what about you?" he directed the same question towards her.

"aww, it passed then. mine in in about three months, january fifteen." she beamed, making the male gasp.

"do you have any plans? we have to do something then!" manjiro cheered, ready to plan out a whole day's worth of events and activities that he'd like to do with her.

"uh, i haven't really celebrated my birthday like that for the past six years, hehe." nori nervously laughed, unaware of how to contribute to his thoughts.

"no worries, that's why you have me right? we'll plan it right now so that you could have the best birthday ever." he promised solemnly, giving her a toothy grin as he sat down more comfortably on the ground, the both of them now face to face with each other.

"alright, let's get to it then, mr. planner." she said with an amusing tone, waiting for him to dump his thoughts and ideas on her.

"ever went ice skating before?" he started off with a simple question, making the girl ponder as she tried to recall any memory of her doing the activity.

nori's childhood did consist of her doing many family activities with her parents and siblings, such as going to fairs and participating in contests. she still remembers how her dad entered this udon eating contest where he finished twenty bowls of the starchy delight in twenty minutes while her mother joined this baking contest.

her infamous strawberry shortcake winning the popularity votes.

her lips tugged into a small smile as she was reminded of those memories, days that she wished every night that she could get back just to savor them for longer.

"seems like whatever you're thinking about must be good." manjiro's voice broke her trance, making her glance at him.

"huh? oh, sorry, i was just reminded of something. anyways, i haven't done ice skating from what i can recall." she stammered a bit as the sudden intrusion of his words threw her off a bit.

"seriously? you're missing out! i always have the time of my life whenever i go on the rink near the stadium in shibuya." he glimmered, making nori shrug.

"i don't know, it seems too painful. what if i fall and break my back? it's like an open invitation to get scoliosis for the rest of your life." nori retorted as she contradicted his statement.

"well, if you're gonna have that mindset, then you'll keep falling. how do you think i'm able to skate so perfectly? think a bit more outside the box." manjiro advised, his tone being laced with a bit of a boastful one, making nori's eyes twitch from how his words rubbed her the wrong way.

"huh? the hell's that supposed to mean?" she snapped, but he just simply gave her a shit eating grin.

"exactly what you're thinking. if you just give up from the thought of it or by just doing it once, then even the thought of wanting to participate in the activity is useless. everything has a level of difficulty and if you give up before even exerting your full effort, then what's the point?" he explained more in depth, making her scoff.

"damn, no need to get so philosophical over skating. i guess it doesn't seem like a bad idea, but if i end up breaking my back, i'll kill you." nori threatened, making a light-hearted laugh exit manjiro's throat.

"don't worry, i'll be right behind you to catch you. but i will be breaking your back in another way though." he smirked at her, making nori confused until his words began to sink and process in her brain.

a red hot tint immediately flushed the cold mounds of flesh on her face, becoming flustered over the dirty innuendo.

"the hell was that?! you're gross!" she blabbered, embarrassment bubbling inside her as she began to land a couple of slaps on his biceps while the boy erupted into a fit of laughter.

"i'm kidding! ouch! damn, women, just how strong are you?!" manjiro groaned, rubbing the sides of his arms as he winced from the harsh assault.

"whatever, what's next then?" nori continued, waiting for manjiro to come up with the next thing he had in mind for the agenda.

"well, it wouldn't be a proper birthday without a cake right? i remember going to a fair a couple of years ago and this lady participated in this baking contest. i was lucky enough to try a piece of her strawberry shortcake and even after so many years, i can't forget the taste. i need to find her again so that we could have that cake for your birthday." he suggested, eyes painted with confidence that he could make this come true for her.

nori's eyes widened, realizing who he was speaking about. and just like that, she could feel herself becoming overwhelmed with the familiar feeling of sadness that hasn't washed upon her for the past couple of days.

he was talking about her mother, the strawberry shortcake being her most favorite dessert ever. manjiro noticed how quiet nori went as he grew a little worried.

"do you not like the idea? we could always eat another flavor if you don't like strawberry shortcake. wait, did i say something wrong?" manjiro began to accuse himself, not knowing what he said to make her suddenly go silent.

"you didn't say anything wrong, don't worry. but yeah, strawberry shortcake sounds nice. i hope we can find her in time." nori played along, a sad smile being curled on her lips as she tried so hard to suck back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"yay! we're gonna have so much fun and i'll make sure to make up those six years of birthdays that you missed." he confidently remarked, crossing his arms of his chest as he sat up straight, making nori chuckle at his stupidity.

"i'm looking forward to it. we should eat at that restaurant you told me about the other day. i'll make sure to make you a flag to go with your meal since your ken-chin buddy isn't here." nori smiled, watching his eyes light up from her words.

"you will? it sounds great." manjiro returned the warm smile, a little flustered from her words as she told him that she would make the small flag herself. he grabbed her hands, making nori freeze as she looked at him with a shocked stare.

his hands were cold, as if she was touching literal blocks of ice, yet his skin felt so soft. while in contrast, manjiro could feel the coldness of his flesh melt away with her warmth. her touch felt so tender, so soft and so warm.

he wished that he could hold her hands forever.

"i can't wait, you know? i hope those days come fast and never end." manjiro gave her bright smile, his eyes disappearing which made nori's heart skip a couple of beats.

"yeah, me too." she replied, her tone a bit softer as she gave him a shy smile.

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peterpanfromlemonland · 1 year

Text

The Night I Heard You Cry (pt. 8 Catch Ya Later)

youtube

TW/CW: Soft Simon, mentions of implied violence, make out session, Johnny realizing he has feelings for Simon

Johnny and Mai sat in her room, Mai rummaging through the things in her bag; trying to find the collection of CDs that had all of her favorite songs on it- Johnny couldn’t help but grin, she was finally comfortable- she pulled out a busted old iPod, a faded leather back journal, and then finally her CD collection. “While they were holding me in the sanctuary,” she started as she was searching for a certain CD, “I would sneak out sometimes to get help.”

“That didn’t work, did it?” Johnny questioned, of course it didn’t work, “What happened when you were caught?” Mai sighed and rolled up her sleeve, revealing all of the dark scars. She had more from her ‘attempted escapes’ but she didn’t feel ready to show anyone else yet. After she would get caught time and time again she gave up on help but relied on scavenging her old home to keep her sane by snatching any of her personal belongings she could hide in her bag. Anything from her CDs, small stuffies, sketchbooks, to her shambling corpse of an iPod.

“They caught me trying to sneak out one night,” she stared down at a CD in her hands, it had ‘Heaviest of Metal’ written on the case in bold sharpie, “they didn’t like that, I was chained up for a month.” She was silent for a while, reaching for her notepad to write what she wanted to say. Johnny watched as she scribbled her words down quickly.

You know, I was born in Anaheim, moved to Chicago when I was 4. The house in Cali was just sort of a ‘vacation home’ or whatever you’d like to call it.

“Chicago?” Johnny tilted his head, he wanted to know more, “What was it like there?”

Cold. During the winter there was tons of snow! A smile came to her face as she handed him the notepad. Johnny made a promise in his head that one of these days he would take her to Chicago when it snowed there, he wanted to make her happy, and Chicago was probably one of the ways to do that. Mai smiled at him before putting her notepad down and picking up her stuffed bunny and looking for something else in her bag. Johnny couldn’t help but stare at her, taking in every detail; from the gentle curves of her body to her breasts- he wanted to squeeze them and hear her whimper and watch her squirm beneath him, he wanted to make her scream his name all night until the whole base knew who he was. He felt his jeans grow tighter, not now, he tried to hide the growing boner in his pants as his thoughts raced; he wondered what she would sound like sitting on his cock while he thrusted up into her. Now wasn’t the time for those thoughts, it was too soon to be thinking like that.

“Ghost isn’t as mean as he acts you know.” Johnny started, “He just wants you to be smart.”

Doesn’t seem like it. Mai wrote in response. From the way he acts, it seems he hates me.

“If he hates you,” Johnny gazed into her eyes, “Then why would he keep you around?”

I don’t know? Mai got lost in his ocean blue eyes. You’ve known him longer than I have, wouldn’t you know? She was right, Johnny had known the taller man longer yet it felt like he didn’t really know him at all. The man didn’t quite know how to respond to the question, instead he just stared blankly into her obsidian black eyes. Mai thought he was still pondering on the question and thinking of an answer, the girl stared back into his eyes; they were calm and crystal clear, something about them felt warm, felt like home. She felt as if she was back on the shores of Crystal Cove Beach, her first year of college had just ended and she decided to celebrate it on the beach; sketchbook in hand, she traced her pencil across the blank page with precision. She wanted to capture every miniscule detail of the ocean and its waves, the boats and ships that littered the big blanket of blue before her curious eyes.

The two of them got lost in each other’s eyes, waiting on the other to say something- to do something. Mai took in the features of Johnny’s face; from his rough and messy stubble, sun kissed skin, to his messy mohawk. She liked looking at him, he was nice to look at for hours and she could never get tired of staring, it was when her gaze fell to his lips she then realized how handsome this man was. Her thoughts ran rampant with dreams of snuggling him, she was thinking about what he smelled like.

Cinnamon? No, he’s too much of a rough and jagged man to smell like cinnamon. Maybe sage? Perhaps. Cloves? Nutmeg? A mixture of all of them? Mai felt her body slowly gravitate towards his, did he notice? His body doing the same, the two figures slowly feeling something pull them closer to each other, the two of them falling into the other’s orbit and unaware of the evident collision between their lips. Soft. It hasn’t even been a week before they met and here they are, lips entangled in one another, Johnny’s all self control had been thrown out the window. The man was greedy and wanted more, leaning in to the kiss and leaving her no room to retreat or breathe.

Sandalwood, sage, cinnamon. Mai’s head swam as his scent engulfed her senses, earthy and mellow. Her heart and brain were telling her to run but she wanted this no matter how scared she was. Her hand wandered to find something to cling onto, something to ground her while her heart tried to beat out of her chest; from his peripheral vision Johnny noticed her movements, he placed a hand in hers before breaking contact between their lips. Both parties breathless and wanting, expecting, more. Mai’s face was a bright shade of red, similar to the shade of an almost ripe strawberry, Johnny couldn’t help but crack a smile as wide as the Cheshire cat’s.

“Y’alright there, hen?” He cooed, his accent coming from his lips thicker than honey, “You’re a lil red there.” The man chuckled as the girl covered her reddening face with a pillow, oh how he wanted to just pin her then and there. Soon. He thought to himself. Soon. He gently moved the pillow out of his way before crashing his lips down to hers again, this time softer as to not spook her, searching for any signs indicating that she wanted ‘out’.

There were none. The man took this as his cue to keep going, her grip on his hand tightening worried that she might be swept away too far from the shore. Johnny’s mind wandered to thoughts of what things could be, of what he wanted things could be. Her, Simon, and him. The three of them, together, happy. He moaned into the kiss at the thought of this future, of them. He knew it was wrong to think of his superior in that way, to want a future with him in it. Soon his bliss turned to greed, to want. He forced his tongue past the threshold of her lips, she squeaked in surprise- unprepared for such force, she tried to fight for the upper hand.

Mai whined into the kiss, her other hand reaching for his shoulder to steady herself as the kiss hit her with the force of a hurricane. Trying to push his tongue out of her mouth and cause him to pull away first, to make him forfeit first. She was so close when there was a sudden knock at the door causing both of them to jump away from each other. “Hide.” Was all Mai could utter before running to the door and opening it just a crack. Simon stood on the other side, his forest brown eyes peering down at her.

“Hey there sweetheart.” The giant spoke, a hint of remorse and pain in his tone, “Seen Soap around?”

She shook her head in response, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Ah, well,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “Well if you see him, tell him to meet me in my office. Will you do that for me, love?”

She nodded softly, a smile creeping across her face.

“Oh yeah.” Simon reached into his pocket and pulled out a slick black switchblade, “Got this for you. Seeing as you aren’t completely comfortable with firearms yet, I thought this would be the best starter weapon for you.” He handed the knife to her through the thin opening in the door. The girl stared at it with wonder and fascination in her eyes, Simon couldn’t help but smile behind his mask as she mumbled a quick ‘thank you’. She was about to shut the door on Ghost but he grabbed the barrier dividing the two of them before she could.

“Mai, wait.” His gaze softened, “I’m… sorry for being so harsh on you.” He went on about how he was proud of her for actually shooting the damn pistol and that he would be more than elated if, when, she finally joined Ghost Team. He finally got it off his chest, he finally told her. Albeit, it wasn’t the full truth but it was something. He waited, he watched, for her response while his nerves were dancing around the flames of his heart. He was on edge, it honestly scared him and he wanted more. Mai smiled softly before tilting her head up to meet his gaze, that smile was to die for, Simon felt his heart jump over hurdles as he felt himself being buffeted by the ebb and flow of her ebony eyes. He wanted to drown in her, wanted to get lost in her but he caught himself daydreaming and snapped out of it.

“Anywho,” he straightened his posture, “I better get going. What do you Americans say? Catch ya later, yeah?” Ghost patted her head before turning on his heel and making a bee line to his office. Mai looked down at the knife and then back up to the retreating LT, her heart felt warm and fuzzy, maybe this Ghost wasn’t so bad.

#johnny soap mactavish #soap x oc x ghost #ghost mw2 #Youtube

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sukirichi · 3 years

Note

Breakfast for Choso with ingredients #17 and 34 with #2 sugar? Wine is optional.

EASY

— Nothing is ever easy with Choso, but for him, you’d push through hell and back.

meal order: breakfast + 17, 34 (fake dating, rentboy au) + 2 (enemies to lovers) + biting, scratching, choso eating reader out, sex on the beach

warnings: mature content, unedited fic, choso is mean and harsh when he’s angry

notes: thank you so much for this anon! I really enjoyed writing this and this totally made my day. I hope you like it!

word count: 10k+ LOL CHOSO BRAIN ROT

check out the fanart @tigressnej-chan made, it s so beautiful HURRR

Your day was absolutely ruined. Dark, deep bags covered your under eyes as you stormed through the convenience store downstairs your apartment, body clad in an oversized hoodie and socks visible through slippers, hair greasy and lips chapped. You’re aware you look like a mess, but did you care?

Absolutely not, especially when you haven’t been sleeping well the moment you moved into this cursed apartment because of a certain fucker.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. That specific fucker – the cause of your ruin and the devil who prevented you from living a good life – waltzed inside the store, the small bell chiming to signal his presence. You scoffed at his confident, suave walk, further irritated because he just had to be insanely attractive – in an alternative, laid-back kind of way.

He wasn’t even your type; you preferred more refined men who wore pressed suits and leather shoes, but you had to admit this man was insanely attractive.

With deep, sunken eyes, a dark tattoo across the bridge of his nose and dark hair twisted into twin ponytails, large, muscular body covered in a black sweatshirt and a red scarf – he looked very much like a former member of a gang who retired because their barbaric ways wasn’t his thing. It was an odd theory, and you sat there at the corner of the store, glaring at the man who tiredly pressed the coffee maker machine for a dark roast.

As if feeling eyes on him, his lazy eyes slid over to yours, and almost automatically, one corner of his lips tilted up in humor. This fucker knew how much he annoyed you, and he only further pushed your buttons by walking over to you, the steam of his coffee nearly blocking your gaze.

“Good morning,” he greeted sarcastically, well aware that it definitely not a good morning for you.

“Have fun last night, neighbor?”

“Yes.”

“Jeez, you won’t even bother denying it?”

“I see no point in it,” he invited himself by sitting next to you, long legs crossed over his muscular thigh. You found yourself staring at how he seemed so firm even in loose sweatpants, averting your gaze and staring at your soggy ramen noodle cup instead. “And you’re not trying to hide the fact you’re listening, either.”

“I wasn’t listening!” you slammed your fist down the table – he didn’t even flinch, only continuing to sip his coffee as if you weren’t burning in anger beside him – as you hissed, “The walls are too damn thin and you’re so fucking loud.”

“No, I wasn’t. She was loud, though.”

Scoffing, you crossed your arms against your chest. He really was shameless. You already knew this man didn’t have enough shame in his body, but you didn’t think he’d have absolutely nothing.

Upon witnessing your stupefied state, he reached over to knock at your skull. “Still there, princess?” you cringed at his nickname for you; you didn’t even know this guy’s name, for pete’s sake! “Or are you still too bothered by the fact I got some good fucking last night?”

You flicked his arm away from you, nearly seething in your seat. “God, you’re insufferable. I should move out.”

“Yes, I think that would be for the best too,” he nodded to himself as he stared at his now empty coffee cup. Had it been that long already? Apparently, it was, because your noodles turned cold and your neighbor was already leaving your seat, dipping for a mocking bow. “Have a nice day, neighbor. Don’t think of my cock too much,” he teased, even going as far as winking until your jaw dropped.

You watched as he threw the paper cup in the proper bin, a little surprised he was decent enough to do mundane tasks like that. Sometimes, it was so easy to forget your neighbor was also a decent human being, but whatever.

You absolutely, utterly hated him, and you kept mumbling to yourself of the different ways you’d get your revenge on him as he walked out the door, his annoyingly gorgeous ass in view. “Yeah, right,” you scowled to yourself, “As if I can get that image out my mind now.”

He would not be an easy feat.

Despite your constant pleas for him to at least be silent during the weekdays to give you enough peace of mind to study for the finals, he didn’t stop. Hours just after the sun sets, you’d hear giggles and sloppy kisses on the hallway.

No matter how much you pressed your hands into your ears and set your music on full volume to block out the noise, you could always hear them.

Your neighbor was undeniably a fuckboy.

Every night, he’d have a different girl dangling in his arms. You knew, because the voices squealing his name while he fucked them right next door were always different. Some days, it was deep and throaty, and on other days it’d be high-pitched and nearly scraping at your ears. They all said the same thing though, such as fuck, right there, you feel so good or harder, harder, please, I’m so close!

To say you were traumatized was an understatement. You never wanted to hear such things again, but alas, your neighbor apparently couldn’t give a single shit because he was fucking someone again.

As if things couldn’t get worse, the person he brought home this time around just had to have the most fucking annoying voice ever. Or maybe it sounded like the others, but you were in the middle of memorizing veins and brain chemicals in alphabetical harder when you heard the headboard of his bed slam against your wall, the sound hard and loud enough you dropped your book in surprise.

They didn’t stop. If anything, he kept going harder until nothing but his low sexy groans and his partner’s screaming – that was right, she was fucking screaming – like she was having her insides rearranged.

You didn’t doubt the possibility that maybe she really was. Your neighbor was such a huge, attractive guy, after all, it would make sense he was capable of such. Before you knew it, you could no longer understand the words in your textbook. You kept rereading the same line over and over again, but nothing registered into your mind. You were so close to screaming at them to stop and shut the fuck up because it was three in the morning and they were still going at it, but you weren’t that mean.

Yes, you hated him, but you weren’t going to blue ball someone or make sex awkward. Sex with your ex was always awkward, so you knew how painful it was to live with that memory. No matter how much you hated your neighbor, you wouldn’t go that far.

So you trudged all the way up to the building’s public balcony, bringing a blanket with you to survive the chilly bite of the night.

You used your phone’s flashlight to read all over the textbooks, keeping your little note cards organized and color coded beside you. Finally, you could make sense of things a little bit more, and you chugged at your Red Bull to keep you awake. Time passed by so fast whenever you were lost with your nose stuck in a book, and your attention was only ripped away when the balcony door swung open, revealing your neighbor with messed up hair and bruised lips.

He looked totally fucked out.

“Oh, fuck, no – what are you doing here?”

“This balcony is for all tenants,” your neighbor barely blinked as he walked closer to you, but instead of joining you on the table, he leaned against the railings and stared into the night sky. He seemed so placid, a little approachable despite his intimidating face even, and for a moment, you were studying his sharp, masculine features before he turned your way with a passive face. “Last time I checked, I’m a tenant, therefore I have the rights to be here.”

“I don’t care,” you retorted childishly, pulling your books closer to you as if he wanted to steal it. He only raised a brow at your actions, the large muscles of his arms bulging up from where he stood.

It felt so hard to not salivate at the sight, but for the sake of your pride, you had to push those thoughts down and remind yourself why you hated him so much. “I evoke your rights. You’re not welcome here.”

“You’re awfully harsh to a stranger.”

“You’re not a stranger, you’re my neighbor who brings girls in his home every night and I can never get a wink of sleep because all I can hear is them moaning and the sound of balls slapping!”

“Vulgar,” he smirked, and he had no business looking so attractive with that arrogant smirk on his face that it took all energy you had in you to not whack him with your book.

“I think I deserve an apology.”

“I think you should mind your business.”

You stood up with a scowl, nearly shoving the book right in his chest. “Bro, I’m this close to slapping this book right in your pretty face. You see how thick this is? I’m not kidding, this will hurt. Listen, I’ve got a final exam and a suture practice this weekend. All I’m asking for is just a few hours of sleep – that’s all. I just don’t get why you always seem to be balls deep in someone at every god forsaken hour; I can’t focus on my work when the noises are so distracting. At this point, I remember their begging more than I’m familiar with nerves. I need to study, okay? I really want to graduate.”

He fell silent at your sudden rant, then, he tilted his head to the side, a small smile on his lips. “You think I have a pretty face?”

“After everything I said, that’s all you remember?”

“It’s kind of hard to listen to every word when I’m distracted by your eyes.”

His comment caught you off-guard, and your eyes widened, arm coming up to hide your face that soon began to felt warm. He only chuckled at your reaction, the sound deep and throaty that it went right straight into the pools of your belly. “My eyes – what are you talking about? Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You’re so creepy!”

“Hmm,” he snickered, “That’s the first time I’ve heard that.”

“What, no one tells you you’re creepy?”

“No, people always say I’m handsome,” he said it with such a straight face that you gave him an are you serious look, and he raised one shoulder to shrug. “I’m surprised you’re not attracted to me, to be honest.”

“Wow,” you drawled out, shaking your head with a laugh as you plopped down back to your seat in defeat. “Aren’t you full of surprises? First, I get a really horny man as my next door neighbor who keeps me up at night with his shenanigans, and now he’s got the audacity to ask me why I’m not attracted to him?”

“I mean,” he scrunched his nose cutely, a huge contrast to his domineering stature. “Why aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I give up. I’m just gonna crash at my friends tonight,” you mumbled to yourself while gathering your things, leaving your neighbor all by himself. As you reached the door, you called out to him one more time, “Oh, and by the way, you reek of pussy. Go shower or something.”

“So how’s your exams going?”

“They’re fine,” you lied through gritted teeth, slicing through the fish a lot harsher than you intended. The knife scraped against the plate and you winced at the sound, ignoring your father’s loud munching. “Not too much of a big deal. My professors are nice and my classmates are nice too. I’m fitting in really well and I think I’ll even come out on top of my class this time if it weren’t for that stupid little bastard…” your last words ended up as a whisper, eyes glazing to the side as you glared at nothing in particular.

“Stupid little what?”

“Nothing, nothing,” you waved your hand in the air, “Someone’s just distracting me from my studies, is all.”

At the mention of someone distracting your usually composed and unbothered self, your father straightened up in his seat, a large smile on his face that made him look younger than he really was. “Is it a guy? Do you finally have a boyfriend?”

“Ugh, dad, really, you’re the only father who’s so eager for his daughter to have a boyfriend. Shouldn’t you be more proud that, I don’t know, I’m pretty and smart? I don’t need a boyfriend or anything.”

Your father nodded, “True, you don’t need them, but trust me when I say life is going to get pretty lonely when you grow old and you’re all by yourself. It’s still better – and life is a lot happier – when you’ve got a stable supporting and loving figure in your life.”

“I have you for that.”

“And you always will,” he patted your hand gently across the table, “But a parent won’t always be there for their child, and if you’re still not prepared for the future or ready to stand on your own two feet, then that means I didn’t do a great job at raising you; that means I’ve failed as a parent. Tell me, have I failed? Have I raised my wonderful daughter to be so repulsed by the idea of love that she’s willingly closing her doors and locking herself away in isolation?”

“No…”

“I didn’t think so,” he grinned to himself, and you watched with a frown as his eyes crinkled in happiness. Your father was such the complete opposite of you; he was always so loving and open to everyone, while you were mopey and afraid of attachment.

“Don’t be too afraid to love, child. It’s one of the most wonderful things in this world – it’s a blessing – the absolute core of our being. Why do we exist if not to love?”

“Not everyone is a romantic like you, dad,” you sighed, “Plus…how is it so easy for you to finally find someone after Mom died? Isn’t she your soul mate?” you questioned, putting your fork and knife down as you looked your father in the eye. “I just can’t believe you’re getting married again.”

“It’s already been years since she passed away, Y/N. And yes, she is my soul mate, but that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of loving someone again. Our hearts aren’t limited like that, and your mother wouldn’t want me to keep mourning her when she’s resting in peace,” he gestured to the both of you after swallowing his food, “She would’ve wanted the both of us to be happy.”

At the mention of your passed mother, your shoulders deflated, and your eyes watered at the thought of her kind smile. You wished you could see that again.

“I miss her…”

“I know, child, I know,” your father smiled encouragingly, “I also know the reason you’re so afraid to love is because you’re scared they’ll end up leaving you too, like how your mom just slipped past our fingers like that, but it’s only her body that withered. She’s still with us, right in our hearts and in our memories.”

“You really do sound like a lovesick fool.”

“That’s because I am,” your father laughed with a slap to his knees. When his phone buzzed for his alarm, he quickly dabbed a towel on his lips, standing up to excuse himself. “Now, this lunch was lovely and I dearly missed you, but I need to go back to work. We doctors just never get a break. This is a life you have to prepare for if you want to follow my footsteps.”

“I won’t follow your footsteps – I’ll surpass you.”

“I’ll be waiting for that to happen then,” he announced proudly; pride bursting in his chest at how determined his daughter was. “Oh, and Y/N?”

“Yes?” You squinted at the mischievous look in his eyes, wary of what your cunning father had in mind this time.

“You won’t outsmart me. You better bring a boyfriend or at least introduce someone to me on the wedding – or else I’m pulling you out of the university hospital.”

“Wha – Dad, that’s not fair!”

“All is fair in love and war, child, you’ll learn soon.”

“Oh, I just hate men!”

You really did hate men.

Your final exam was tomorrow already and you’d lost count of the coffee and Red Bull you’ve inhaled today, all so you could study one last time for the test, but no, something – or rather someone – just had to get in your way.

“I’ve had enough,” you announced before slamming your door open; not hesitating as your fists came banging down on your neighbor’s door. “Hey! Keep it the fuck down – someone’s trying to study here! Seriously, man, is it really that hard for you to keep it in your pants for one night? This is what, the sixth woman you’ve had around the past four days? Don’t you get tired? Because I sure as hell am very tired of you!”

The moans and the sounds of bed creaking stopped. For a moment, you almost smirked to yourself when they fell silent.

If only you knew it would be that easy to shut them up, you would’ve done so long ago. You were about to turn back into your room when his door swung open, and you were met by his sweaty and muscular chest heaving up and down – either in anger or from his previous activities – you couldn’t tell.

Your throat felt dry as you peered at him under your lashes, almost afraid of the way he loomed over you. Thank goodness he found the time to wear pants, though, because had he been baby naked, you would’ve run for the hills already.

His dark eyes cut through yours as he seethed, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m the one who wants to ask you that,” you were surprised to find your voice despite the way your pussy actually ached just by the sight of his chiseled body, but when you did, you forced yourself to stand up taller, refusing to back down from his gaze. “It’s literally three in the morning and you’re about to fuck a hole through my wall!”

“I thought you said you’d be crashing at your friends. What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I had to have your permission to come back home. Next time, I’ll give you a heads-up, good sir. And for your information, unlike you, I actually don’t like bothering the people around me so I came home. Now would you please kick her out and shut the fuck up for once?”

“Babe, are you coming back here or what?”

Red acrylic nails wound from his body out of nowhere, and your mouth fell open as you watched the naked woman press kisses on the blades of his shoulder. You were conflicted, torn between feeling jealous that she got to touch him like that because damn was he fine, but you also felt appalled your neighbor would be this type of person.

“Babe?” you repeated with a sarcastic laugh.

Stepping away from your neighbor’s tempting pecs, you waved to the stunning woman behind him. “Hi, I’m his neighbor, I don’t mean to be a cock block or anything but I’ve been a witness to his fuckboy ways for months now. If you think you’re special to him, I assure you, you’re not. Yesterday he was just banging two girls until the sunrise. If you’re really as sane as I hope you are, I suggest you skedaddle before this man feeds you with more lies. You’re not special, hun, he’s just going to fuck everything that walks on two legs.”

“Is that true?”

“Nadia, you know how this works—”

“I was literally just on the phone with you last night!” the woman named Nadia pushed him away, but because he was bigger, he didn’t budge. Nadia turned to you, her lipstick smudged and a suspicious white stain on the edge of her lips. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look down her head, and you and your neighbor both watched as she got dressed and left, hands up in the air. “Thank you for this. I should’ve known better than to waste time and money on him.”

You snickered as Nadia pressed on the elevator buttons, a scowl sent his way. Turning to him with pride swelling up in your chest, you smirked, “How does it feel—”

“Happy now?” he growled, his eyes so dark and slit into tiny cuts you took a step back, your heart pumping frantically for different reasons. You never thought he’d be this bothered for not being able to bust a nut. “Satisfied now, Y/N? Do you even realize what you’ve just done?”

“Uhm, yes,” you scoffed, matching his tone. “I just saved that poor girl’s life. Who else knows what you would’ve done and said to her. We don’t deserve to be looked down on and treated like this, you know.”

“Neither did I. I’m just doing my job.”

“Job? You don’t even have a job! You don’t even go to university for fuck’s sake – your apartment is rundown and smells like sour cunt and feet! Maybe you should even thank me because I’m trying to give you ideas on better things to do!”

“Yeah, and be like you?” he snapped, tugging at the strings of your hoodie until you fell a step forward. “Dressed in loose shirts to hide the fact you’ve got no tits and your ass is flatter than your back? Lying to her neighbor that she’ll crash somewhere but ends up waddling back home anyway because she’s always cooped up in her apartment studying to prove that she’s not as worthless as she is and that she doesn’t have a life or friends to begin with?” tears pooled at your eyes at his words, and you knew it hurt because it was true, but did he really have to say it that way?

However, his anger got the best of him, and he didn’t stop there. “I don’t want to be like you. I don’t want to skip meals and lose sleep studying for something I don’t care about because I don’t know anything else other than following daddy’s footsteps so he’d notice me more than his new bride. I’m happy with my life.”

“How did—”

“Like you said, the walls are thin. You’re not exactly so quiet to yourself, neighbor. It’s kind of pathetic you talk to the walls when you think I’m asleep because you’ve got no one else to talk to.”

Hands balled into fists at your side, you stood on your tiptoes to spit the words out. “You’re a terrible human being,” no matter how much you tried to exert dominance over him, your lips still quivered as you fought back the urge to cry. “Go fuck yourself.”

“You’re the one who needs to go fuck yourself and get laid,” he didn’t let you have another word as he slammed the door in your face, but you still heard him through the door anyway. “Uptight bitch.”

You were wrong.

Your neighbor wasn’t just difficult – he was completely impossible.

[Dad:] Don’t forget your date!

[You:] Dad…don’t push it.

[Dad:] I find it hard to believe my beautiful daughter can’t have one. Go out there and make some friends, Y/N, I know you isolate yourself too much. It doesn’t even have to be a boyfriend. You could date a girl for all I care. I just don’t want you to be too bored at the wedding. Bring a friend.

[You:] Fine, fine, okay.

[Dad:] But a boyfriend would still be better. Your old man isn’t getting any younger and I want grandkids in the future.

[You:] Dad!

[Dad:] love ya kid !

And so it was the turn of your events that had you groaning in your swiveling chair, the grip on your phone so tight you wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up breaking it. As if your week couldn’t get any more horrible with your neighbor’s hurtful words still living at the back of your mind, your father hadn’t stopped talking about you to his co-workers and his equally crazy mother that your grandmother didn’t waste time in calling you.

You loved your nan, you really did, but more often than not, she was much more of a pain in the ass than your father was. The old woman was ruthless, shooting you question by question on why her pretty granddaughter was still single, then came the demeaning comments of how you “weren’t living life to the fullest.”

Frustration eating away at you, you let out a silent scream.

The escort site blinked back at you mockingly, temptingly, as if to remind you that your problems could easily be solved with just a click. You chastised yourself for always having the need to solve problems fast and as easily as you could, because before you even realized what you were doing, your heart started beating a mile a minute as the other line kept ringing.

You ended up lying to your grandmother that yes, nan, I have a boyfriend, can I study for my exams now please, to which the pressing woman responded with, oh, finally! well, I won’t bother you anymore. study well, my dear, I can’t wait to see him!

Just thinking about how she would react if you came alone at your father’s wedding had you breaking out in a sweat, and you chewed at your nails while waiting for the site to pick up.

You were truly desperate now, so much so that you were actually calling a rental boy site.

“Good afternoon, thank you for calling Kamo Escorts! I’m Ijichi, here to assist you. What can I help you with?”

You held back a really painful cringe, biting the insides of your cheek as you got your heart to calm down. “Uhm, yeah…so this is like my first time c-calling a site like this and I don’t know what to do but…yeah.”

“I see, we get new callers too. Would you like a guide?”

“Yes, please, that’d be great thank you.”

“Kamo Escorts is all about, well, as you can see on our webpage – we have men and even women you can hire to escort you on special events. We mostly cater to clients who only need a pretty face to dangle off their arm for social company or even care, or whatever reasons the client may have and the relationship is purely business and professional, but in some cases, the escorts may have sex with the client too under the condition they are paid more.”

The gasp that left your lips was barely stifled, and you furrowed your brows at the implication. “Wh-what, so that’s like a real thing? Isn’t this…?”

Ijichi chuckled from the other line, almost as if he’d been asked this question many times before. “In a way, it is, which is why Kamo Escorts is commercially advertised for purely social company only. You may, however, negotiate with your escort if you would like more services, but we do require that you keep our escorts’ dignity and not look down on them. The service we provide may not be your typical honorable one, but we are dedicated and equally eager to be of service to this society. Should we find that you’re dehumanizing or harassing our escort, we won’t hesitate to…take some action,” the light warning of his tone didn’t go unnoticed by you, and Ijichi took note of your hesitant silence. “Would you still like to proceed?”

“Ye-yeah, I didn’t want the sex anyway.”

“Very well, then. What event are we looking for?”

“It’s for a relative’s wedding,” you supplied, “I need a date.”

“Any preference in escorts? Male, female, tall, short, sociable or introverted?”

Your eyes widened, your back flattening against your chair. “Oh, wow, so this is like a Build-A-Bear, okay, wait,” you chewed your nails again, racking up on your mind on who or what exactly you liked. “My ideal guy is…someone tall, and has pretty broad shoulders…I think I prefer a more introverted one too because people with too much energy sort of drains me…and someone caring and attentive, yes. Handsome too – but if that’s too much to ask for then—”

“It’s okay, Miss. I assure you all our escorts are definitely blessed in the gene department.”

At his confidence, you scrunched your nose and made yourself small on your chair. “Okay, but now that you say it, if he’s too handsome then I’m going to look like a potato next to him.”

“We’ll find someone compatible for you; we always never fail to please our clients. We’ll be able to match you with a more suitable escort if you’re more descriptive with what you want.”

“Okay, okay,” you continued, “Oh, and I like guys with long hair too, but really, anything is fine. I just want someone to effortlessly pretend they’re enamored after just one date and that they’re very glad to be there with me on the wedding. It’s even better if they’re introverted but can communicate well and isn’t shy at all. My relatives are kind of…freaky.”

Freaky couldn’t even begin to describe the chaos of your relatives.

In fact, had you not been paying for this service, you would’ve almost felt bad for the guy. He had no idea what he had coming for him – but then again, neither did you.

“I think we’ve got just the perfect guy for you,” Ijichi answered after a beat, “May I ask when is this event and how long you’d like to book the escort service for?”

“The event is in two weeks. I don’t need to meet him before the wedding because I’m very busy with exams, so I hope this guy can just act really well. As for the duration…I think just one day is enough. After the wedding, I’m coming right back home.”

“Convenient then,” he mused to himself, and you heard slight clicking from his side. “Let’s see…someone introverted and able to communicate well…definitely not Satoru, and his entirely booked by sugar mommies too…” Ijichi whispered to himself, followed by a slight humorous snort. “One last question: would you like someone older, younger, or the same age as you?”

“I’m in uni – I’d be more comfortable if they were closer to my age.”

“Oh, perfect, his schedule is oddly open for the whole month. Wonder what happened, he’s barely had free slots before…” the man was speaking to himself again, and you sat there pouting, even more dumbfounded at how this whole process worked.

Ijichi talked about this escort service and guided you so easily you almost couldn’t believe that it was as…simple as that. You didn’t know what you were expecting, but deep down in your mind, you were waiting for something fishy or weird to happen.

“I found someone for you. He’s one of our best escorts and I believe he’ll be great for this event. However, due to privacy issues, the disclosure of contacts and personal information can only happen once the escort agrees to this service. We’ll shortly get back to you if he’s up for the job. If not, I’ll find you another one quickly; you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Okay, thank you so much!”

“It’s our pleasure. Thank you for contacting Kamo Escorts – we hope to see you again!”

Once the call ended, you fell back on your bed with a sigh. Your neighbor wasn’t around the whole day, leaving you in peace and silence, and you took advantage of the rare quietness by pulling out a book. Hours passed, and you were nearly finished with half the textbook, fingers slightly numb from practicing sutures over and over again when your phone lit up with a text.

It came from an unknown number, but the words were loud and clear. Hey, this is Choso, I’ll be your escort for the wedding. Please text me here for the details and what else you expect from my service. I’m only a text and call away, please don’t hesitate to ask me for anything else.

You blinked at your phone, unsure of how to process the whole thing.

So it was official now – you rented an escort and you had a date for the event. Quite frankly, you were kind of expecting that escorts would be a lot more…flirtatious or even eager to please, but this Choso guy sounded too formal for you to picture yourself having this stranger be a good company for your event. Ijichi sounded so sure though that you no longer questioned it; smiling instead now that you’ve finally solved one of your problems.

Life felt a lot easier.

At around four in the morning, you were too worn out to keep going. Your exam was in the afternoon so you still had plenty of time to sleep, your stomach grumbled, prompting you to leave your unit to get some snacks.

Keys in hand and feet cold in your socks, you locked your door, halting in your steps when you saw your neighbor. Different from his usual comfortable clothing, he was dressed in a formal white shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his large, masculine hands coming up to loosen his tie. He wasn’t aware of your presence, almost blindly walking to his door and sighing. You didn’t miss the fact his shoulders were slumped, and he looked absolutely worn out.

For a moment, you actually felt worried, until you remembered what he said to you.

“What, no pussy to fuck tonight?”

He froze in front of his door for a moment, slightly tilting back to see your aggravated stance. Upon seeing it was just you, he shook his head and turned back to unlock his door. “No thanks to you.”

“Aw, did I ruin your reputation?” you mocked sarcastically, “I’m surprised people aren’t smart enough to pick up the smell of women’s perfume on you already. Seriously, are people that desperate for touch?” It was ironic; you’d never admit it, but you weren’t any better than them. You were equally desperate to be touched despite your aversion to romantic relationships, but he didn’t need to know that.

“It’s normal when you’re someone people are naturally attracted to. Not that you’d get it, of course, because it’s clear you don’t get some.”

“At least my apartment doesn’t smell like pussy.”

“At least I don’t masturbate every night then pass out after one weak orgasm.”

Your cheeks burned at his offhanded comment, and even with his back turned to you, you could see the slight smile tugging at his cheeks. He must’ve felt so cocky, thinking that he’d defeated you, so you blurted out the most intelligent thing possible: “How dare you!” while grabbing onto his shoulders to make him face you. “Look me in the eye and take that back!”

“Whatever you’re planning,” he crooned, head tilted to the side and making strands of his bangs fall over his eyes. He looked absolutely handsome under the flickering lights of the hallway in that moment, and you hated how you weren’t able to take your hands off of his strong shoulders, his masculine and spicy perfume clouding your mind. “It’s not going to work. Surprise surprise, but you’re not as cute as you think you are.”

Your eyes burned with fire, the nerves in your body so closing to popping. He infuriated you so much. “And you’re not as sexy as you believe you are!”

“Oh, yeah?” The positions are suddenly switched as he cornered you beside his doorframe, both of his arms planted beside your head. Because he was taller, he had to lean down to look you in the eye, his warm, minty breath brushing over your lips. You stared at him with wide eyes, fingers raking over the wall in a silent attempt to flee. Upon seeing your pursed lips, he laughed.

“Then why are you so shaky? Do I make you nervous?” his head dipped down, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. “Say…you only pretend to hate me, but you actually wish it was you I’m fucking every night, don’t you? Tell me…do you touch yourself when you hear me eating someone out?”

“I-I’m not—”

Before you could combust under his gaze, he pulled himself away from you, a satisfied smirk on his face at your flustered state. He chuckled lowly, keys spinning on his thick finger. “I was just teasing you, princess. No need to get so worked up.”

“I never want you near me again!”

He raised both brows as if to challenge you, and you knew from the glint in his eyes he was up to no good. “Princess, you jumped on me first.”

“I didn’t!” You shouted, immediately slapping your palm over your lips after realizing people were sleeping. He snickered at your reactions, and you pushed past him back to your unit, suddenly losing the appetite to get your precious snacks. “God, I hate you so much.”

“Believe me, the feeling is mutual.”

Difficult. Unbelievable. Complicated. Idiotic. Nothing was ever easy with him.

“Would you stop fidgeting?” your father scolded from his chair, his body barely moving as the stylists fixed his hair and makeup, but his eyes glared at you from the mirror. “You’re a lot more nervous than I am, and it’s my wedding.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it.”

Your father sighed to himself, standing up after they were done with him. He checked his appearance in the mirror for a while, nodding to himself in satisfaction. It was still a little surreal that he was going to get married again, to a woman half his age of all people, but he was happy, and his bride seemed to really love him too, so you no longer questioned your father’s decisions. He was an adult, anyway, he could make his own decisions.

“You’re waiting for your boyfriend, you say?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s he like?”

You stiffened at the question. Not wanting your sharp-eyed father to pick up on the smallest cues, you lied through your teeth despite not having any idea on who or what kind of person the escort was.

Other than discussing details of how you two supposedly met, conversations had been crisp and short. You were lucky that the escort seemed to be nice and smart enough to not always ask you to explain everything, and he was crisp and curt in his texts too. No flirty or suggestive messages, not even a single emoji. He seemed a little stiff, and while you worried if you could fake chemistry with someone who seemed like a wall, you were also assured by the fact he wasn’t some creep.

“Nice. He’s sweet. You’ll like him.”

“And when did you meet him?”

“Dad, do I have to tell this story all over again?” you groaned, “We met after exams, he goes to a different uni and he studies law—”

“Law. Impressive.”

“Of course you’re impressed,” you rolled your eyes. Coming from a family of doctors and engineers, your father, and pretty much everyone else in the family, also expected that you’d date someone who was equally intelligent and had enough connections in different industries at least. It just so happened you were really lucky your escort also really did study law for a bit before he became an escort; a detail you never got enough explanation for. “He’ll be here anytime soon. Just you wait.”

In reality, you were the one who couldn’t wait.

You were excited and nervous at the same time to see this mysterious escort, and you were in the middle of talking to your father and his bride when someone called you.

“Y/N?”

You turned around with a bright grin. That must be him! You clasped at the hems of your dress so you could meet this mysterious, rigid man properly, but the moment your eyes met his equally startled gaze, you choked on your own breath. “Y-you—”

Choso stood before you; handsome as ever in his suit and tie, his iconic twin tails still there. How ever would your father believe you now that he was a lawyer, especially with his messy hair and face tattoo? You loved it and found it sexy on him, no denying that, but your father was a little bit more traditional. But that aside, it was Choso?!

His professionalism arose and he regained his composure quicker than you did, the smile on his face so natural and alluring even you almost fell for it.

Choso wrapped an arm around your waist before kissing you on the cheek, and the skin felt extremely hot under his lips. You couldn’t move, couldn’t even speak, because Choso was pressed flush against you, and he looked at you with stars shining in his eyes you didn’t know whether to be flattered or afraid.

Maybe a fucked up mix of both.

“I’m sorry I’m late. Traffic was bad,” he explained with a small smile on his lips, and he looked so handsome and smelled so good in that moment you were left gaping at him as he bowed to your father, arm politely extended. “You must be Y/N’s father. It’s very nice to meet you sir. I’m her boyfriend, Choso.”

To your surprise, your father eagerly shook his hand with the brightest grin he’d worn the whole night before he faced you with a laugh. “No way,” he beamed, gesturing to Choso. “He’s your boyfriend? You managed to snag this fine man?”

“Dad!” your ears burned with embarrassment. Choso only laughed; making you painfully aware of his large, warm hand resting at the small of your back.

“I heard you’re a lawyer, son?”

“Yes, sir.”

Your father nodded in approval, the two exchanging over words about what his plans were for the future and how his studies were going. You stood there with a pounding heart, fearful that Choso could fuck up any moment, but he was so effortless and easy going. Had you not been the one paying him, you would’ve been fooled too.

So this was the life of an escort.

“So how much did my daughter pay you?”

“Dad, I didn’t—”

“I mean, there’s no way she actually charmed you with her non-existent social skills. My daughter here can’t even talk to someone and look them in the eye, much less ask someone out, so how did this happen?”

Choso laughed at your father’s lighthearted comment, saving the day for what seemed like the hundredth time already. “I approached her first, sir. We were both eating in this small diner and it was cramped, so we shared tables and started conversation,” Suddenly, his grip tightened on you as he pulled you closer, your ear now resting above the lulling and steady beating of his heart. How was he so calm?

He lightly squeezed your hip and it had you freezing under his touch, stiffening even more when he looked down at you so adoringly. “Guess it went downhill from there.” God, you had no idea who this man was.

“Really? What did you guys talk about?”

Choso opened his mouth to speak, but it was there, that damned glint on those dark eyes again that you clutched at his bicep. He may be damn good at this job, but knowing Choso, he was enjoying this way too much.

Anything you couldn’t predict or control properly was a huge no in your game, and you pulled Choso away before he could say something downright humiliating.

“Dad, just go focus on your wedding. I want to spend time with my boyfriend, okay?” You couldn’t even begin to fathom the inward cringe upon your words, the feeling only worsening when Choso fought back a laugh masked with a cough. Before your father could say anything else, you dragged Choso rather harshly, but he didn’t mind; he followed you obediently. “Come with me. I need to talk to you,” You didn’t stop until you were both alone in a desolated corner, and finally, you hissed at him. “What are you doing here?!”

“I should be asking you the same thing – but it turns out you’re my client.”

“Client? So you really are my escort?”

“Yes, I am.”

“So those women…”

“All my clients,” he confirmed your thoughts. “I assure you they knew what they were getting into. In fact, they were the ones who asked for that special service that caused you to lose your sleep every night. That woman the other day was just pissed because she booked me for three days, but I lied that I was available until the duration she wanted when I wasn’t.”

“You mean you were still working an escort for somebody else?”

He shrugged. “Pretty much.”

“Why did you lie then?”

“It’s more money,” Choso stared down at his hands before his eyes flitted back up to yours, his face unreadable. “I’m saving up so I can move somewhere else. Our apartment isn’t exactly the most ideal considering my profession. I need to find someplace quieter with thicker walls this time,” he smiled, “That way, I’ll no longer bother my sweet neighbor,” your lips felt dry at his words, your tongue darting out to lick at them while Choso scrutinized you under his gaze.

“I have to admit though – you asking for escort service is the last thing I’d ever imagine you doing. Not that I’m complaining since it’s still money in my pocket, but you’re not the most pleasing company to be with.”

“Oh, you bet, Choso. Had I known you were going to be my escort, I would’ve declined long ago,” you groaned, your head dropping in your hands. “What was Ijichi thinking when he said I would be compatible with you?”

“You’re not,” he stated, “But I am compatible with you – as I am with pretty much everyone else. I’m one of the best escorts, and soon you’ll see why.”

You didn’t understand what he meant by then, but it seemed Choso was quite eager to show his skills off when he dragged you back inside the reception event. The whole time, you couldn’t pay attention to anything or anyone else other than Choso. It still felt hard to believe that the whole time, he really was doing his job, and upon seeing how easily he had people believing you two were an item despite you just standing silently beside him, you felt guilty that you disrupted his “work” like that.

Guilt gnawed at you as Choso made everyone laugh, and soon your relatives were cooing, praising you and congratulating you that you were “happy” now.

Back then, you always looked down on him and even called him a mere fuckboy, but Choso was so much more than that. He was intelligent; his past as a lawyer proved that, and whatever happened that caused him to work in this industry kept lingering in your mind.

There was no denying it now.

You respected this man – admired him even.

“And now it’s time to join the newly married couple on the dance floor! Come on, people, bring your dates up here for a twirl!”

You remained planted in your seat, too comfortable with Choso’s jacket draped around your bare shoulders. You’d lost count of how many times your head ducked down for the lack of sleep, and as much as you loved your dad, you wanted nothing more than to go home and rest.

Choso offered his hand to yours, a teasing smile on his face. He wriggled his eyebrows up and down, and he looked so utterly ridiculous that you couldn’t believe the boring man you were texting was the same infuriating yet undeniably attractive bastard who was your neighbor was the same fun. The world is very small, it seemed, and you weren’t sure whether you were brave enough to venture these strange places and feelings.

“Uh-uh. No. I’m not dancing.”

“Two left feet?”

“No, I’m wearing heels. My feet hurts.”

“Then take it off.”

“And get my feet dirty?” you scoffed. As if to prove your point, you snuggled deeper into his jacket that smelled heavenly like him, closing your eyes as you pretended to sleep. “Sitting here isn’t so bad. Plus, look at them, all staring at each other with goo-goo eyes. It’s revolting,” you shuddered.

Through the sickeningly romantic music playing in the background, Choso fell silent. You cracked an eye open, frowning when Choso studied each of your features carefully. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You seem to hate the idea of love.”

“Because it’s pointless.”

Choso narrowed his eyes at your answer, brows bunching up at the way your shoulders squared to keep yourself away. Then, he stood up and sighed, offering his hand to you once more.

“I won’t really ask you to explain why, because frankly, I don’t care,” you stared at his large palms for a few seconds. There must be a ghost possessing your body because you looped your fingers through his and allowed him to guide you on the dance floor despite your mind’s protests, and soon, Choso’s eyes were all over you. “But if you don’t want your money to go down the drain and you really want to convince everyone, I suggest you forget about that mindset for just a few more hours,” his voice dropped down to a low whisper, his forehead pressed to yours. His eyes turned solemn, his hand on your waist gentle. “Dance with me. Let’s show them how madly in love we are with each other.”

“We met just last week, remember?”

“Love at first sight, princess,” Choso kissed your forehead, sending your heart thumping and running to another dimension. Oddly enough, you didn’t mind, and your hands travelled from his strong arms to his broad shoulders instinctively. “Take your heels off. You can step on my feet and I’ll dance for us both. Just put your arms around my neck – yes just like that,” he nodded with a smile when your fingertips nervously played with his hair, and Choso began to dance you both in time with the music. “Are you good?”

“I don’t like this lack of space between us.”

Choso smirked, “Why, do I get you all hot and bothered?”

“Jesus, Choso, you can’t be serious for a minute, huh?”

“It’s kind of hard to be serious when you’re so flustered and adorable right now,” you pulled at his hair in response, but of course, he wasn’t really hurt.

“Look at me,” he demanded, but you refused, keeping your gaze planted on your bare feet on top of his again. “Hey. I said look at me,” he tilted your chin up until you’re forced to be like prey under his gaze, his breath tickling the bow of your lips. “I am your escort for tonight – and I humbly ask that you do your part as my client so I can perform my job well. I need you to look into my eyes and pretend you’re in love with me.”

“I don’t want to fall in love with anyone,” you suddenly admitted, “I’m scared.”

“You don’t have to be,” he replied, softly this time, and his hands ran down tenderly to your hips to pull you closer to him. “I’ll be there to catch you.”

You couldn’t remember who leaned in first. The only thing you remembered was that the music faded in the background when you kissed him – or maybe he kissed you – fuck, you didn’t really remember. Eventually, the kiss grew too heated, his hands squeezing your waist while you moan at the taste of chocolate and wine on his expert tongue.

Choso easily read your mind and swooped you away from the crowd, the both of you stumbling until you made it out to the venue and onto the beach.

The salty air kissed your skin while Choso carried you bridal style, arms looped around his neck while he kept moving his lips above yours. He was laughing through the kiss with how messy and eager you were, tugging at his shirt to encourage him to unbutton it. Choso set you both down on the darker, isolated part of the beach where nothing but the sound of waves lapping against one another could be heard with your breathless pants and his chuckles.

You were lying on his jacket, dress bunched up to your chest while your legs were spread wide open for him. “Ch-Choso,” you choked out when his tongue ran flat across your slick folds, his hands keeping your hips pinned down to the sand. “I-I, please.”

“I got you, princess,” was all he said before he completely dived into your heat, his sharp nose brushing into your cunt.

It didn’t take long until you were spasming in his hold, legs closing around his head. Choso groaned into your pussy, a finger working its way inside your sopping cunt while he licks and slurps your arousal like it was fucking water. Now you understood why those girls always lost their mind – Choso was a fucking expert when it came to worshipping pussy.

Choso pulled his fingers out of you, making you whine at the sudden emptiness, but he was kind, eager to please you that he immediately replaced it with his tongue.

You cried out when you felt his tongue entering your hole, one thumb pulling the hood of your lips up to reveal your sensitive pearl. Choso rubbed your clit fervently, his other hand reaching up to squeeze and tug at your breasts while he drank your juices dripping down his tongue as if you would be his last meal – and he honestly wished you were, because you tasted like heaven on him and he wanted more.

Once he felt you clamping down on his tongue so tightly he struggled to retrieve his warm muscle back, he helped you reach your high by pinching your clit. You moaned out his name, the sound sending blood straight down his cock, and he groaned into your pussy the moment you grinded on his face as you relaxed from your orgasm.

Choso didn’t give you the chance to recover from your orgasm, pulling you up to his lap before he’s kissing you again. You moaned when you tasted yourself on his tongue, his face and cheeks sweet from your arousal and cum.

You should be ashamed, but you couldn’t find a single bone in your body that felt shy right now. Choso was right – there was no point in being shameful when it came to your pleasure.

The kiss was sloppy, more tongue than lips and teeth clashing onto another. Choso grinded you on his hardened erection in search of your heat that would bring him relief, but he slowed down and pulled away from you, a string of saliva connected from your lips. He wanted you – wanted to fuck you so badly – so he searched your eyes for the answer when you aligned the tip of his cock to your entrance. “Is this okay? Are you sure with this?”

“Yeah,” you gritted your teeth when his tip entered your tight cunt, your walls sucking him in greedily already. Choso’s head dropped down to your shoulder, his teeth sinking down to your shoulder. You slowly sat down on his thick length, but then froze before he could bottom out. “Wait, no, I’m broke! I can’t pay for your extra services!”

“It’s free for you, princess,” he rasped out, “Now sit on my lap so I can feel you around me already.”

“Do you always have to be so vulgar?”

Through the pleasure that had his abs rippling, Choso managed a laugh. “You might want to get used to it.”

“Why would I?” you breathed out, eyes shutting tight once he fully slid into you. He allowed you to get used to the sudden stretch; it had been too long since you’ve been touched this way that you were impossibly tight around him right now. Your chest rose and fall with each faltering breath, your nails running down his back when Choso gave a deep, experimental thrust that immediately hits your sweet spot.

You moaned, cheek resting on his shoulder as Choso set the pace, squeezing your ass as he bounced you up and down his cock. “You’re gone after this. Once this contract is over, you’re moving away and I won’t get to see you anymore. I-I won’t lose sleep anymore after hearing you fuck all those women and gosh, I hate you so much, you know that?”

“I hated you too,” he groaned through your skin, “Or at least, that’s what I told myself so I wouldn’t get hurt.”

“Hurt? I would never hurt you,” Really, you praised yourself for still being able to form coherent sentences even after Choso kept fucking into you.

“I’m an escort, princess, I’m everybody’s and nobody’s at the same time,” he explained almost angrily, and his lips zealously sucked love bites to the sensitive flesh of your neck, “Even if you won’t hurt me, we’re bound to crash and burn at some point. This is why we’re not allowed to get attached to anyone,” his lips brushed over her collarbone, his canines dragging along to make red marks. “Why we’re not allowed to fall,” he squeezed her breast in the palm of his hand, twisting the peaked nipple until you whined, hips bucking deeper into his cock. “Why we’re not allowed to love.”

“I-I don’t understand.”

“I’ve always liked you,” he laughed through the pleasure, holding your hips down so he could drive his cock deeper into you. Yes, he was selfish, yes, he was frustrated – and his feelings burst through the way Choso powered into you. You fell limp in his arms and he easily caught you like he always did, his eyes blown wide as he stared right into your eyes, his dick still pummeling through your gummy walls.

Choso inhaled sharply when you clenched down on him, an elongated moan spilling past your lips. “I liked you the moment you moved in and you fell flat on your face before you could greet me.”

“Shut up, don’t remind me of that!” you raked your nails down his back hard enough to draw blood, and Choso concealed the pain with light chuckle, the pain only prompting him to absolutely use you. “You’re seriously bringing it up now when you’re – ah, fuck – b-buried in me?”

Choso tugged at one of your legs and wrapped it around his waist, the sudden change of angle had you pressing down deeper into him. It felt like you were sinking closer and closer to his cock, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix until you’re crying out in his arms, scratches evident on his back.

“For now,” he breathed out, “I want to at least be selfish enough to want you now, just for now if fate won’t still allow it.”

“W-we can try,” you said in your lust-filled gaze, lips crashing down messily to his while you bounced on him, your hips slamming down at the same to meet his thrusts. “It’s not going to be easy, but we can try, right?” You cupped his face, surprised with the sudden vulnerability from his hooded eyes, looking so innocent and beautiful as if he wasn’t painting your insides white.

“Okay,” he nodded, brows pinching together. And that was all the both of you needed before Choso sank his fangs down the column of your neck to hold on his low groans; your head thrown back as you both drown in the pleasure of being with one another.

In the blink of an eye, all tenderness is Choso’s touches replaced by the hunger in his eyes and the power of his lust-filled thrusts. You were a moaning mess by the time your hips sit flat on his pelvic bone and his balls brush on your ass from how deep he was hitting you, and you felt his teeth nibble at the side of your breasts again as he warned, “But for now, I’m not going to go easy on you – not when I’ve wanted you for so long and I’ve been so hard for you these all time.”

And you allowed him. Because nothing was ever easy with Choso, but for him, you’d try pushing through hell and back.

4K notes · View notes

spice-chan · 3 years

Text

Legally Incapsulated

yandere!Bakugou Katsuki x darling!reader

In a different, dystopian world, yanderes are allowed to run rampant and they make up 15 percent of the population. It gets a little interesting when Bakugou, a protective yandere falls for you, a taken darling.

warnings: dystopian society (ig?), yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, reader has a bit of an early stockholm syndrome kinda thing, blood and near death, captivity.

also hi, i came back from the undead with an update.

.........

Bakugou laid on the ground, bleeding profusely, cold and alone. The red liquid soaked through his clothes, painting him as an ugly manifestation of destruction and death. However, he did not welcome the latter yet, clinging to-hanging tooth and nail to the threads of life.

What cruel irony. To be dumped somewhere so public, yet at a time when no one would bother to come. To have the Hero hanging onto the hope that someone would visit the park at three in the fucking morning.

A brutal fight between him and a particularly vicious villain ended in Katsuki suffering not only the humiliation of defeat but injuries that will do him in soon enough from blood loss. All alone, with no back-up, Katsuki suffered possibly the worst defeat of his life, for it might cost him that very same thing. Fucker attacked him after he finished his night shift too when no reporters or anyone would be around, knocking Katsuki out and dumping him in a public park just for the mockery of it.

His head felt light and doozy, and he was starting to succumb to the feeling sucking him in when he heard a gasp amidst the fog.

With what little stamina he has left, he turned around, sharp red eyes spotting a petite woman heading towards him.

You quickly got to his spot beneath a tree, crouching down and inspecting him, your warm eyes becoming horrified at the blood pool.

“Oh no, what happened here?! No matter. I’m going to call an ambulance. You’re going to be ok.” You reassured, or tried to, for the words coming out of your mouth could only be taken as self-assurance when one notices the dampness of your eyes. He tried to concentrate on what you were doing, but the next time he was aware of what was happening around him was when you clutched his hand tight with tears streaming down your cheeks.

“You’re gonna be ok.”

He sure hopes he will be now.

“What’s your name?”

Despite the haze covering, his red eyes zeroed on you, calmly taking you in despite the battered state he was in. You froze.

You stammered, heart hammering as you finally had another person's attention for once. It should’ve made you really ecstatic, but it just made you feel like you were naked on live TV.

“It’s um-“ you nibbled on your lip as if unused to your name, Katsuki just got lost in the dainty, delicate sound of your voice.

And when you said your name, as if testing foreign words on your tongue for the first time, he couldn’t help but think it suited you.

So pretty.

Honestly, if the sight of you is the only thing he’ll see before dying, he’ll be content. Your hand remained in hold his, your warmth travelling to his frigid hand and warming his very soul.

But the sound of ambulance sirens broke him out of his trance, and you too, it seems. For you broke away from him in fright, he had to hold back from grabbing you and keeping you close. He would, had he not been injured.

“Whe-where are you going?” He asked brokenly, desperate to keep the angel that saved him close. You shook your head, frightened and frantic. Looking at the time, and seemingly getting further and further.

“I’m sorry-I—I’ve got to go. I’m gonna late, I’ll get punished if I’m late.”

His heart sunk with every syllable you uttered, feeling a pain he had never felt before, something not tangible enough to be compared to injuries and not comprehensible enough for a man like Katsuki to express.

You’re a darling.

You’re someone’s darling.

By the time the ambulance rolled in and took him, you were long gone…

But not for long.

……………...

Katsuki Bakugo: Yandere.

Classification: Protective

Darling: Unregistered

In a world where yanderes are allowed to go rampant with their love, an ordinary citizen doesn’t know when they’ll become trapped by a person who claims to ‘love them unconditionally’. Thus making them a darling. And from the moment that label is put on them, the law ceases to help them and they become entirely at their yandere's mercy.

Yanderes are often separated into their schools and housed in their specified yandere classification ranging from obsessive, possessive and protective, and if a person overlaps two during their classification test they get reign into which house to go to. At UA, the houses are split between those three types and are equally split.

Katsuki, who scored rather high in both protective and obsessive traits, chose to go with the protective unit where he met Kirishima, who’s currently blabbering on about nothing in Katsuki’s hospital room.

“You barely made it man, I still can’t believe it. One can never be too careful these days.” He said, for the hundredth time. Katsuki was topless, the nurse having just finished bandaging his wounds. The stark white stood out against his chiseled, muscular front, it had every nurse swooning but he only had one thing on his mind.

You.

Where were you? Who were you? Did you really have a yandere? How can he take you away now?

No, he doesn’t like you. He’s just curious.

He’s survived this long without a darling. He doesn’t need one, contrary to popular societal belief.

When babies are three, they undergo tests and scans to see whether they have OLD, obsessive love disorder, which is something about 15 percent of the population suffers from.

They go to their own schools and such, but their identity as yanderes won’t be revealed to the general public, making it easy for yanderes to take their darlings by surprise when the grand reveal comes.

Katsuki himself attended a yandere oriented hero school, but what the public doesn’t know is that the acceptance rate is so low because only yanderes are accepted. Yanderes rarely, but not never, go for other yanderes so it poses as less of a distraction.

And so, the talented in the 15 percent of Japanese yandere are carefully picked and honed.

And the separation only proves something. That darlings are a distraction. He won’t be like other wanderers, he’ll get a hold of himself.

…………..

Y/N L/N: Darling

Under yandere of classification: Obsessive

Yandere name: Nagisa Mura

Katsuki ground his teeth, red orbs staring viciously at his computer screen. Hypothesizing and being faced with the fact that you do belong to someone else. The distraction, unneeded angel who fell from heaven just to save him.

Poor you, he bets that piece of shit doesn’t treat you as good as he could.

After looking further into you, he found several allegations of sexual assault made towards Mura that got completely dropped after he captured you.

A flash of searing pain made Katsuki jerk back, narrowly missing scorching his screen to smithereens.

He...he hurt you. The fucker hurt his angel, his princess...he hurt you, he hurt you, he hurt you.

He thought of your pretty, kissable lips, making unsure, clumsy movements as you tried to vocalise your name.

No, Katsuki has to have you. He needs to save you. It’s the only way for both of you to be happy at this point.

And this, spurred on a thorough check at your yandere, and Katsuki delved so deep that when he found what he wanted, he couldn’t help but break out into a lopsided, sinister grin.

………………

Nagisa burrowed his face in your neck, breathing in your scent while you sat still and rigid, not wanting to move away and risk his sanity flying away.

“Did you enjoy it?” He asked softly, suddenly attentively look at you with his cat-like, loving, sick eyes. Your heart palpitated in fear for a second before you nodded.

“Oh, where did you go? You...didn’t talk to anyone right?” Your heart erratically hammered, thinking that he might’ve somehow found out you did, and even told him your name. You shook your head at the speed of a sewing machine, then thought that might’ve perhaps been too aggressive to be convincing.

“I didn’t. I walked to the park and came back home.”

He sighed in satisfaction at that, moving his dark bangs back to stare at you with his green hues.

“I knew night time was a better idea. There would be no one around at this time that you can’t deal with with pepper spray. Fewer people to talk to, fewer people who see you” he was smiling, not breaking eye contact once, and with each syllable, his soft voice seemed to get more sinister and sinister.

You only nodded, pliant as a lamb in his grip as he twisted you however he wished. He buried his nose in your hair, inhaling the scent of you as if smelling a rare fragrant flower.

“We’ve gotten so far since the days in the orphanage when you refused to share your dolls with me when we were five.”

Memories. Something that should fill one with nostalgia, only filled you with an unbearable sense longing to a freer, more easy time. When you only had to worry about Nagisa bothering you during breakfast, lunchtime, movie time, sometimes worship time and wash time.

Desperate for a sense of normalcy, you hugged him back, feeling icy cold in his embrace.

“Nagi, what are we having for dinner?” A twinge of regret pierced you as you lowered your guard for a second. His hold became stiff, and he didn’t bother to swipe back his bangs as he flashed you a blank face.

“You’re thinking about dinner while we hug?”

But you knew how to deal with him better by now, deflecting his anger and turning it into something more malleable.

“Oh no, it’s just that I feel a little dizzy. I don’t think I ate or drank well those past few days.” You paired the lie with a yawn for extra measure, and the ice of his face melted to reveal a familiar worried expression pouted lips and widened greeny eyes.

He carefully put you down, bundling you in a blanket before he rushed to the kitchen to prepare you some food.

The worry he harboured for your well being should’ve filled you with warmth, but instead, you were left twiddling your thumbs and rocking yourself back and forth, an unexplainable feeling of doom filled you.

The feeling of a hand touching you caused you to spring out of your reverie in fright, but the sight of the green hues staring back at you only calmed you a fraction. He put the food in front of you, which he brought back with some vitamins because he can’t have you getting sick.

“Thank you…” you murmured, feeling incredibly stupid and useless.

He insisted he feed you and that you go to bed early.

But as you laid in bed, thoughts of strange red irises and their bewitching beholder swarmed your thoughts along with the fatigue. You hope he’s alright…

You wanted to check on him, but if you asked or even implied to Nagisa that you met someone, let alone a man albeit injured or not, that he will opt to not let you out for a year again, or possibly longer this time.

Even in his injured form, there was something undeniably feral about him, as if ready to pounce any second and gamble his chances at life if the situation called for it. It frightened you.

You shook your head, willing comfort to return to you through the soft duvet and sheets enveloping your body. You better sleep before Nagisa comes to bed and finds you awake…

…….

Finally, Bakugou has the best reason to get that fuck arrested. And you? Poor you, you’re going to have your yandere taken away, and you can’t *just* be let free. You didn’t earn it after all. Well, you would have, had there not being a perfectly suitable yandere for you to be rehomed with.

Heh, to think of it, you might hate him a little for this...but he’ll show you that he can treat you better, in no time, you’ll be wrapped around his finger like he’s shamefully wrapped around yours.

Bakugou’s thoughts come to an abrupt halt when the L-word is mentioned, not noticing when his thoughts spiralled to that degree. His deranged obsession with you had been planted the moment you saved him, but Katsuki didn’t notice when he lost the wheel of his rationality to his heart.

Yeah, sure, he did background checks on you, felt a twinge of pain when he realised you grew up in an orphanage, felt a tornado of anger when he saw the assault charges that went nowhere after that obsessive fuck captured you. Yeah, ok, he felt proud when he saw that you were the valedictorian. But… where did the stone hearted Katsuki go? Where did the one who was afraid of getting close to anyone in case his true nature shows and distracts him from his dream go?

But then, he remembered your glassy eyes, staring at him in worry that no one ever showed towards him before, fumbling with his phone to dial the ambulance while holding his hand. Telling him he’ll be ok.

The moment Bakugo looked in the mirror, he knew he lost.

His cheeks were flaming hot.

Whatever, he better start preparing your room.

…….

It felt like preparing the room of a newborn baby, Katsuki bought enough stuffed animals and plushies to make it resemble a fluffy asylum, along with pastel pink sheets. Your name was also put on the wall, with cursive pink letters that had butterflies surrounding them.

Not to forget a dresser filled with all kinds of things you could ever desire. But his favourite was filling the closet.

Besides adding some of his own shirts, he stuffed it with all kinds of pretty dresser and cute clothes that he can’t wait to see you wear.

Bakugo dusted his hands, taking a sigh and looking at the finished guestroom, previously a spare but now your own room, it looked as if a sparkly fairy vomited all over it. Hopefully you’ll like it…

He wishes you were here to see it…

An unfamiliar sense of isolation invaded his heart, perhaps it was the realisation that he just finished a room to a person who doesn’t even live with him *yet*, or knowing what he’s missing out on with you, but he knew he desperately wanted you here.

He wanted to protect you from the bastard who has you in his clutches

……..

A day later

You sat on the sofa, munching on some popcorn while you sat on Nagisa’s lap, watching anime.

A rough knock sounded out, the sound so aggressive is sounded as if the wood itself was gonna break under the aggressive force. Nagisa tensed up, he wasn’t expecting any guests, in fact, he rarely invites anyone over. He disassociated the both of you from any acquaintances from the orphanage, and you weren’t allowed to mingle with anyone.

He saw your curious look, even without any verbal question, but he opted to simply kiss your forehead and put you on the sofa.

He quickly went to answer the door, but not without grabbing a dagger and hiding it somewhere discreet.

He turned the knob, feeling his chest tighten painfully, as if sensing a near, imminent loss.

Three aggressive, toned cops welcomed his sight as soon as the door was open. They forced their way inside, cuffing him and telling him things, words that were spoken too fast and went over his head as the only thought that went through his head aas you.

He turned around to where he left you, but you were suddenly standing besides one of the officers, not allowed near him. No…

“According to our database, you are a yandere who has a darling. This means that she will be permanently taken away from you and handed to an eligible yandere as part of your punishment.”

He swallowed, his gaze, which always seemed morbid to you, now looked panicked and morose, gaze moving like a boomerang between you and the officers, as if not processing what’s happening.

“Nagisa, what have you done?” He couldn’t answer you, he couldn’t speak a word. You were leaving him, and there’s nothing that he can do.

“Eligible yandere? But as far as I know, there’s no one after her besides me.” The thought comforted him. Maybe he’ll recapture you after he serves whatever sentence he has, even though he’ll have to do it on the down low now. It’s illegal for a yandere who had their darling taken away to go after them again.

“Well you thought wrong. Scum”

Bakugou felt like the star of the show, coming in to rescue his damsel and finish his quest, with you as the prize.

Your mouth was agape, the little hope that simmered in you that you might possibly be free is now crushed, confusion coming full force in place of it. His face was all too familiar, it was the face of the man you found on death's door only a few days ago.

Nagisa’s face blanked, turning to you with bloody accusations in his eyes, which made your vision narrow to only focus on him, afraid to make eye contact yet afraid not to. You almost felt the bile rise up your stomach as goosebumps covered your entire body at his familiar, haunting stare.

“(Y/n)...how does he know you?”

“I-“ you swallowed, unable to answer. Who is he?

The dots were starting to connect in Nagisa’s head, however, instead of his chilling rage, all you got was a sad, nostalgic smile.

“Very well (y/n), it’s ok.” You couldn’t feel relieved from his ambiguous tone. Your very gut screaming at you that something was wrong.

And your gut was right.

“It’s ok, I know you didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I’m sure of it but I’m sorry because if I can’t have you then nobody can.” In the blink of an eye, Nagisa charged at you with a dagger, with speed you didn’t know he possessed, while you were frozen in place in fear.

However, before he could reach you, the blond, brawny man moved like the wind, catching the hand that threatened you, firing an explosion at the wrist in a show of wrath, probably giving Nagisa third degree burns, then twisting his arms behind his back and pushing him harshly into the floor. The level of strength between them was visibly imbalanced to the blondes' favour, Nagisa was by no means fit or sturdy, not at all when compared to the wall of strength in front of you.

The officers, novices who should have expected this turn of events by all means, have proven to be useless until the very end of this spectacle, thanking the blond the blond profusely while handcuffing the hysterical Nagisa, who was taken kicking and screaming by one of the officers while one stayed behind.

“Miss (y/n), I believe? Sorry we couldn’t prevent this unsavoury turn of events, that criminal will be locked for good, you don’t have to worry about him.” The officer tried to reassure the frightened lady in front of him, disappointed that a yandere would try to kill the person he loves. That was one of the most prohibited laws, though what can he expect from a criminal?

“You don’t have to worry about your safety though, as it turns out, you will be rehomed with Mr Dynamight. This will serve as both a punishment for the offending yandere and a way for darlings who haven’t earned their freedom to stay with their next eligible caretaker.”

You nodded shily, overwhelmed by the influx of information directed at you. It didn’t help that you barely spoke to anyone besides Nagisa in years.

The officer took your agreeableness in stride, scramming quickly as he physically felt the burn of Bakugou’s stare.

Now it was just him and you.

“You ok?” He managed to mutter, not sure how to start a conversation with you now that he had you.

You nodded, not facing him. Are you ok?

You felt the moisture gathering in your eyes, making your eyes seem like gleaming crystals.

Of course you weren’t ok.

You just had the person who, for years, claimed they loved you, stole you against your will and forced you to adapt to a lifestyle that suited them try to kill you. You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry but apparently your body did as it broke into a sob.

Your shoulders shook in failing effort to try to hide yourself from him-Mr Dynamight or something, but he felt his heart clench when he heard you sniffle.

You heard him kiss his teeth, and you had a half mind to apologise, having unfond memories of the sound, but he instead, to your surprise, brought his beefy arms around you and embraced you warmly.

Your crying halted, head turning up to fave him with a ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look in your eyes, making him blush and turn away from you with another kiss of his teeth.

“Stop crying.”

Why did his simple gesture stop your tears? Why are you not trying to make a run for it?

Most importantly, why do you feel something warm blooming in your chest instead of hate?

You looked at him, trying to channel all the hate you harbored for Nagisa for this newfound captor of yours, but all you could think about is when he saved you from Nagisa’s sharp blade— how strong and capable he was, really, shouldn’t you be thankful?

At that moment, you experienced something that never happened to you in your years of being with Nagisa.

You blushed.

……

You stepped through Bakugou’s house, already having an idea of what kind of lavish place it is from the exterior, but you were nevertheless impressed.

The place is something out of a movie, extremely different to the small and cozy apartment you lived in. Everything seemed up to date and costly.

You didn’t notice Bakugou preening in pride at the impressed look on your face. He tried to appear nonchalant, but he was seconds away from grabbing your hand in excitement as he tours you around the place.

Still, he wanted some form of contact with you, so he opted to put a hand behind your back, excusing it as you being too slow when you turned to him with a quizzical look.

His hand felt warm on your back.

“This is the bathroom nearest to your room, but there’s one in your room as well.”

Your room. It felt strangely delighting to have something be your own, when previously everything was ours with Nagisa. Everything was happening so quickly, you didn’t know whether you should try to pause to catch your breath or pick up your pace.

“And uh, this is your room.” This time you did notice Bakugou’s redness, it was quite hard not to when his entire face was red. Of course it would be.

The room looked like it was something out of a barbie house. Soft, pastel rugs paired with baby pink curtains. Plush, stuffed dolls littered the place, some small and some big enough to engulf you. You slowly stepped inside, unsure how to feel about this interior, until you felt your bed. It was also a gentle pink, but the catch was how featherlight soft it was, it felt silky, and the mattress reminded you of when you’d dream of sleeping on a cloud.

“Like it?” He asked, not taking his eyes off your blessed face. That’s the first he’s seen this expression on you. He feels almost cheated, like he would have seen way more of you and learnt way more than he already knows if that piece of shit let you out.

You hummed to him in response.

“Good, ‘cuz it’s your nap time now.”

“Huh?” You straightened your back, looking at him in protest.

“But, I still have things to ask you! Plus, I don’t need a freaking nap-“

“Sleep now, questions later.”

The sun was starting to dip, giving the room a warm, orange glow which did make you feel somewhat lethargic. Bakugou closed the curtains, and shut the door, but surprisingly didn’t leave your room. He pulled the covers back, gesturing for you to slip under. You were afraid for a moment that he was gonna slither his way inside as well, uninvited. But he merely sat besides your supine form.

“Um-?”

“I’m gonna stay here ‘till you fall asleep.” You nodded mutely, not finding a point to objecting anymore. You never have a say anyways. But, this wasn’t so bad. He put his large hand on your head, caressing it and admiring its texture, and how amazing it feels beneath his fingers. You felt his touch to be invasive at first. Who does he think he is, touching you when you don’t even know him?

But you don’t speak. You instead relax and let the stress you built up melt away, and you welcome sleep.

…..

Your eyes slowly fluttered open to the feeling of someone lately shaking you. You were disoriented, glancing around the fluffy place in confusion, your eyes looking adorably lost and confused.

“C’mon dumbass. It’s time for dinner.”

Oh, right, you were living with him now.

“I put the clothes you’re gonna wear on your bed, and here are your slippers.” You glanced on the bed, seeing a comfy looking white, silky pyjama dress slippers at the foot of your bed.

“Ok.” You nodded, “I got it.”

He gave you one final final intense look leaving your bedroom.

…….

In the dining room, Bakugou had already set everything up. He made your favourite food, lit up some candles and sat down, anxious glancing at the door and waiting for you to appear. Will you like it? Will you ask him questions? Do you enjoy living with him so far?

If the answer to some of those questions is no, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. He does know that you aren’t going anywhere though.

You quietly walked in, feeling the tension increase with each step you took.

You spied the contents on the table, salivating at the smell of your favourite food like a starved ogre, not even bothering to grimace at the memory of Nagisa’s poor attempt at making it.

Bakugou was salivating as well, but for different reasons. He couldn’t look away from your exposed skin, staring creepily as if he’s never seen a leg before.

The meal was consumed with awkwardness, neither party breaking the ice. You were afraid of confrontation, of asking too many questions and receiving nothing but anger and resentment in return. He seems so much nicer than Nagisa, you didn’t want him to hate you.

The silence reigned, and the dishes were cleared away and being washed by Bakugou, who insisted you stay near him but also insisted you stay unoccupied.

Every moment that passed felt like a moment lost, and you kept summoning your courage, but the words just wouldn’t leave your mouth. Maybe you should build up to what you really wanted to ask instead of jumping straight to it.

You saw his red eyes sneakily glancing at you, rapidly leaving your form when you noticed him, causing his ears and face to flush.

“So um, what do you do?” he quirked an eyebrow, looking at you strangely while his movements didn’t pause.

“You-you don’t know?!” he exploded, looking at you in disbelief. You just shook your head like a deer caught in headlights.

Oh, that shit must’ve not let you watch TV much.

“I’m a pro hero.”

Your eyes widened in wonder, the decadence of the place suddenly making sense.

“Cool! What’s your quirk?” he ditched the dishes, excitedly showing you his quirk and explaining how it works, delighted at your cute smile and interest in him. The air felt charged and lively, and maybe that’s what led you to ask the questions that have being nagging at you.

“So um, how did you-uh, how did you even find out anything about me?”

Your heart dropped when you saw the excitement on his face disappear, his usual scowl in place of it.

“You told me your name, that’s all I needed to know. I never stopped thinking about you ever since I saw you, I tried but I couldn’t. If even someone as strong as me can end up on death's door, then what would happen to you? I couldn’t just leave you.” At this point, he was caressing your face, looking at you with love stricken eyes. You were reminded of who you were talking to, you were talking to a Protective yandere, who took you.

You didn’t have to ask anything else really, pandora’s box opened, and everything you weren’t previously privy to is now made obvious to you.

“It sickened me though, knowing you actually fucking belonged to someone else. So how could I leave you? I had to save you like you saved me.” he had both of his huge hands on your face, looking at you with pure insanity, love, adoration and bloodthirst swirling and mixing in his irises. He was a yandere, he was the person every ordinary person should fear, he has you in his clutches, you should be trying to escape and regain your freedom, you saw first hand how easily capable of hurting you he could be if he wanted… So why weren’t you scared?

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dabiboy · 3 years

Text

Dad AU time! Is not angsty, pure fluff so enjoy! By the way, Kaji is more mommy's boy while Haru is more daddy's boy, yes. Get your tissues ready cause this is so soft you'll cry

Comforting their son after a nightmare

Dabi

His torso was pressed comfortably against your back, soft snores coming from his parted lips as you kept holding his hand against you. But all of that peace vanished around three am, when a terrfiying scream woke the of you.

You let go Dabi's grip and he sat on the bed, trying to connect the dots and see what the hell was happening. It came from Kaji's room, and it was in fact, him. When you came to the realization of what was happening, you got up and ran towards his room, and at identifying the scream Dabi followed you. He took a quick look inside the room to make sure there was no one there, and he moved to the living room just in case. But it was all clear.

Kaji desperate crying kept echoing in his ears, so he followed his steps back to the room. A little bit ashamed, though. He was only wearing a tank top and some shorts, what would the kid think at seeing his scarred body? He stood outside the room for a while, getting lost in his own thoughts when he heard it.

"Is daddy alwight?" Kaji asked between sobs, you were about answering when he cut you off.

"I am, clearly you're not" Dabi said walking in, and the kid, who was in your arms, lifted his blue eyes.

"There, hold him while I get him something warm"

Dabi didn't even have the time to think when the kid was already clinging to him with his life, drowned sobs were still leaving his lips.

"Hey, it's fine now. Was it a nightmare or some shit?" Dabi asked, pampering his back in weird movements, how the fuck was he supposed to calm him down? Kaji nodded "Wanna talk about it?" And then he denied with his head "It's fine if you don't wanna talk 'bout it, but Imma need you to calm the fuck down, k'? Come on, take a deep breath"

Kaji's breath was erratic, as if he was still having that nightmare. Dabi walked out the room, and the living room was only lighted up by the light coming from the kitchen. He open the window that leaded to the balcony, cold winter window hitting both boys. Dabi hissed when Kaji digged his nails in the scarred skin of his shoulders, so carefully he grabbed his hand in order to avoid the pain, but instead, and by instinc he held it. Tight.

"Take it easy, the nightmare is over already. You home, see?" Dabi said again, sitting on the couch. He put Kaji on his thigh, using his quirk to warm up his body so the kid didn't get cold.

"They were huwting mommy, and you too. And a monster was chasing me" Kaji finally said.

"Well, that's pretty fucked up" Dabi said "But look around ya', none of that is going on"

Kaji did as said, there was only his home, some toys left on the balcony, a starry night, he was sitting on his father's lap, and his mom was getting there with a glass of warm milk. After drinking it, Kaji had asked

"Can I sleep with you?" And nor you nor Dabi had the guts to say no. So there you were, Kaji was tucked under your chin, and Dabi rested a hand on the side of Kaji's body. Shy, afraid, nervous, those were words that could describe Dabi's feelings at that point. Was that ok? Was that a way of comforting his child? Kaji's slow breathing told him so.

"Dad? What if I dream the same again?"

"I'll be here if it happens, you can count on it"

Resting his head on his hand, Dabi ruffled the little's boy head, so he could put his hand back were it was, this time on Kaji's shoulder, watching his sleep during the rest of night. Fuck, that human had got to his heart deeper than he thought.

Hawks

That bed was more like a nest than a bed. Messy sheets and blankets were all over the bed, Keigo was sleeping on his stomach with his wings spread all over the bed, just one leg up and his arm was above your stomach. It didn't matter how, he needed to touch you during the night, at least your pinkies intertwined, it made him feel home, safe, and calm. However, there was someone who was feeling all the opposite. A loud scream woke the of you, and you as you sat on the bed, some feathers opened the door and moved as fast as possible to all the windows, balcony, living room, everywhere. Just to see if there was an intruder, or something similar. Those were Hawks basic instincts, because he was standing up when the feathers finished their job. The two of you rushed to Haru's room, where the cry had came from. And there he was, sitting on the bed while wild tears were escaping his eyes.

"Chicken wing? Hey, it's alright, it's alright" Hawks said, picking him up immediatly, and of course the kid clinged to him tightly as ever. "Daddy's got you, k'?" He said in a soft voice.

"I had an ugly dream" Haru said, sniffing on Keigo's neck.

You turned on the lamp on the nightstand, and there were feathers spread all over, some of them even on the curtains. You walked towards the two boys and kissed Haru's scalpe as he was still on Keigo's arm.

"We're here, baby" you said too, wanting to making him feel safe.

Hawks sat on Haru's bed while you went to grabbed some clean pj's since the one that he was wearing was all sweaty. It must have been a terrible nightmare, you thought.

"Someone was twaking my feathers" He sobbed "and you were hurt, and mommy was being hurt too"

Hawks heart clenched. He had had that same dream over and over again, losing his wings, losing you, losing him, damn. If it was painful for him, he didn't even want to think in Haru's fear.

"But hey, we're good, we're all good, right angel?" He asked you, and you sat next to them so you could change Haru's clothes while Keigo was still comforting him "and your wings are all right, you lost some feathers because they fell sometimes, there are days in which my bed is full of them" Keigo laughed and kissed his temple. "Arms up" he said so you could change the shirt this time. "See? There's nothing to be afraid now, lil man. Even cucumber's here" he grabbed the plushie and handed it to him.

"Wanna try and sleep again?" You asked, rubbing his back.

"Can I sleep with you" Haru looked at both, first at Keigo and then at you. How the hell could you say no?

Once back in your bed, Haru clinged to Hawks again, and the bigger bird didn't seem to be bothered, on the contrary. He was rubbing Haru's back tenderly. And then you remembered when you first told him you were pregnant "I don't know if... Shit, I need to take some air" he had said. Unsure, scared, confused. But now? There he was, humming a random song while scratching his son's head.

"Dad?" Hawks hummed in answer "what if the monsters come back? I don't... I don't wanna be afwaid, cause you're never afwaid"

"I'll fight with them with my own hands, promise" a kiss on his forehead "and I get scared lots of times too, chicken wing. But guess what, you can only be brave if you're a little scared"

Haru's breathing became more and more relaxed, his father's word were always like home to him. Minutes moved slow, and you were starting to fall asleep when something pulled you closer to Haru, making you jump in surprise.

"You were too far" Hawks said with his eyes closed. He had used one of his wings to pull you closer.

"G'night mommy, g'night daddy"

"Night, swertheart" you kissed the back of his head.

"G'night my chicken wing" Hawks replied. It was going to be a cuddly night for the three of you. And that? That was perfect.

#dabi #bnha dabi #mha dabi #bnha+dabi #boku no hero academia #dabi x reader #dabi headcanons #dabi imagine #hawks #mha hawks #my hero academia hawks #hawks headcanons #hawks x reader #bnha hawks #hawks x y/n #keigo takami mha #keigo takami imagine #keigo takami #keigo takami x reader

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binxyu · 3 years

Text

Being the main writer for the college paper made it particularly hard for people not to be in your business because, well, you were in their’s. Thus, everyone in the school was aware of your relationship with Juyeon and Hyunjae. But, that doesn’t stop a flirty athlete from hitting on you.

>>Pairing: Lee Jaehyun x Lee Juyeon (doms) x fem!reader (sub) | athletes!jaehyun and juyeon x writer!reader

>>Word Count: 4.3k

>>Genre: Oneshot / Requested / Smut

>>Warnings/Kinks: Choking, creampie, cum eating, cum play, double penetration, exhibitionism/public sex, harassment (not from the boys), marking, oral (giving + receiving), possessiveness, praise, saliva, and unprotected sex

The reminder you had set on your phone was not enough to take your focus off the man in front of you.

Truth be told, you were quite forgetful for a person with such a tight schedule.

Writing on your hand was tried. It didn’t really work considering you washed your hands consistently throughout the day (damn the germs in colleges), smudging the ink to an unreadable blur on your hand.

Thankfully, that’s how you had met your boyfriends. Yeah, plural. There’s an s there.

You had been rushing towards an assignment you had been given for the paper. It was a request to interview some of the top students in the music department and damn late wasn’t even enough of a word to describe how long ago you were supposed to be there.

Showing up a couple hours late resulted in most of the students already gone, hiding away in their dorms for the afternoon.

But, there were two students still waiting for you. Lee Jaehyun (although he likes people to call him Hyunjae) and Lee Juyeon.

They were your saving grace for your paper and, in return, you let them take you out on a date.

Now, months later, your relationship with them still ran strong.

But, apparently your hearing didn’t because the reminder sound on your phone didn’t even register as you write down practically everything the athlete was telling you.

He actually was a classmate of your’s and a pretty popular one at that. The whole school practically knew about him.

“And that’s how I beat the record”, you nodded sweetly, keeping that signature interviewer smile on your face. It did a fantastic job of getting people to open up and this guy was no exception.

“So, one last question, are you dating anyone?”, you weren’t asking for yourself. Especially not when you were already quite... busy... with the two men you were already dating. It was more for the majority of the female population in the school who did like him.

Besides, everyone in the school knew about you and, more specifically, your polyamorous relationship. It wasn’t seen everyday to be fair. You three stuck out like a sore thumb.

“No, I haven’t really been looking”, bullshit. You had been to the football games, the man loved to rile up the crowd. He practically chucked his shirt into a girl’s face the other night when it was “too hot”.

It was just above 50 degrees that night.

“I see. Thank you for the interview”, you smiled and he nodded, smiling back at you before a lightbulb seemed to go off in his mind.

“Are you looking?”, he must have noticed the shocked expression you had because his hand encased your’s, seemingly trying to soothe you as his thumb traced the back of your hand.

All it did was make you more anxious.

“No, sorry, I’m not. I’m actually taken”, there goes that reminder again but you ignored it. It was probably just your reminder to take your gummy vitamins or something stupid the boys put in there because they cared. Maybe a little too much sometimes.

“Oh, by who?”, it wasn’t a curious question. He didn’t believe you. His tone said it.

“By us”, uh oh.

Turning around, you were met with your two lovers. They hovered over you like angry wolves and you could only feel like a little lamb underneath them.

The athlete had flirted with you before and that only made the situation more intense. Of course the football player knew about your relationship. It just didn’t seem to matter to him.

Until, well, now you guess.

“You didn’t come”, shit. So, that was the reminder?

You had a date with them after this interview and it completely flew out of your mind like a paper lost in the wind.

“Sorry, I lost track of time”, they nodded and, for a moment, you thought you saw their eyes soften as they look at you but they just returned back to those icy cold stares.

Even the muscular athlete was scared. Everyone knew how possessive your boyfriends were.

It was pretty obvious after a particularly ignorant party animal laid his drunk hands on you. Before he could do anything else, he was already thrown on the floor with Juyeon’s fist landing on his cheek while Hyunjae pulled you back into his chest like he was some kind of shield.

It was hot, you weren’t going to lie, but it did make you a little worried for people you truly did just want to be friends with.

“Hey, babies, let’s go. Let’s go have our date now”, you placed each of your hands on their chests. It was a gentle move that always seemed to calm them and you smiled as you felt their heartbeats slow down, your own starting to match theirs as you felt it through your hands.

“Fine but you”, Hyunjae pointed with precision at the man, “stay away from her. She doesn’t like you and she’s said no multiple times. She’s ours” the man finally nodded and ran off while you were stuck standing there with a wave of arousal shooting to your core.

Ignore it. You can’t be walking around with marks again-

The internal scold fell short as the boys wrapped you up in a hug. You could practically feel the warmth from their anger coming off of them in waves.

“Next time listen to your reminders. We set them for you for a reason”, Hyunjae scolded you, grabbing your phone to turn off the pesky sound. You really didn’t hear it. Maybe your hearing does need to be checked.

“I know I know. I’m forgetful”, you pout and the boys looked at it, wanting nothing more than to kiss your pouty lips until they’re swollen. Juyeon just chuckles instead and ruffles your hair sweetly.

It was such a sharp contrast to how cold he looked a minute ago but you were used to it. They were usually cold to others but were exceptionally sweet to you.

Well, most of the time.

“Come on, dory. We’ve got to get outside”, that’s always been Hyunjae’s favorite nickname for you. Sadly, you couldn’t argue that it didn’t suit you.

Sometimes you even forget what your name is.

“Okay”, you nodded and held their hands, walking securely in between them. You always did feel safe with your boyfriends and being without them was honestly terrifying. They were like your bodyguards.

Out in the beautiful field of the campus was a little picnic blanket, laid out with plenty of your favorite foods.

They always loved to spoil you and, while the sight in front of you wasn’t much of a surprise considering it was their favorite form of dates, it made you happy nonetheless.

“Aw, thank you boys”, you gave them both a peck on the cheek and sat down. You weren’t much for public displays of affection.

Hand holding? That was fine. It was their way of saying that you were their’s. But, the bigger things like kissing or hugging? That was more of a private thing for you.

Those were actions you did when the three of you could safely display your love for one another without being judged because, let’s be honest, you’re not much of the outgoing type.

Sure, you have to talk to lots of people for your writing, but that didn’t mean you liked to. You actually liked to keep to yourself.

It was odd considering Hyunjae and Juyeon were quite popular due to their singing skills. Everyone wanted them but they only had their eyes set on you.

They helped you sit down, filling up your plate with delicious treats that almost had you drooling. You just realized how hungry you were when your stomach let out the most obnoxious growl you had ever heard.

Okay- maybe you also forget to take care of yourself. When you’re busy the last thing on your mind is what your body wants. Just the task at hand is important.

“Dory, do we need to start setting reminders for food and stuff too?”, Hyunjae shook his head as Juyeon handed you the plate of food. You quickly shook your head back, taking a bite of the fruit sitting on the plate in your lap.

“No, I just got busy. I’m not too hungry”, Hyunjae looked at you with the most untrusting look. He knew you and he knew that you frequently “got busy” and that meant you frequently forgot to take those vitamins or to at least drink water.

As you ate, you started to circle the important details you had written down during the interview, making a clear note in your head to add those facts into the paper.

Sad thing was: the athlete barely gave you anything to work with. Most of it was just bragging or hitting on you.

“What an asshole”, you sighed and rested your forehead on Juyeon’s shoulder. He simply chuckled and started to run his fingers through your hair. You weren’t a saint by any means but cussing was rare. You found it to be a bad habit in public while you swore like a sailor in the safety of your bedroom.

“Frustrated?”, Hyunjae asked, rubbing your back with his large palm, working the knot he knew you had. They really did know your body so well.

“Yeah, he didn’t really give me anything to work with. Just flirting”, you didn’t mean to let the last part slip out. It was just what you thinking about and sometimes that filter in your brain was clogged with all the useless information you kept there.

“Maybe you could do your report on someone else?”, surprisingly, the response was calm and you had to let out a sigh of relief.

“Maybe. I’d have to ask”, you were the writer for the school but it didn’t mean you had free will. Everything had to be ran by someone else. Every decision.

“Alright, I’d feel much more comfortable if you didn’t have to talk to that guy again”, you nodded in agreement.

God forbid something go right because weeks later, after one failed attempt at switching stories, you were put on the athlete’s case once again. This time it was because he was the reason the school won against their rivals.

So, there you sat on the desk chair. You had just finished your journalism class and, ironically, the jerk was in the class with you. You both just agreed to do the interview in the classroom.

You had already told the boys about it and they promised to check in soon. You were worried but also thankful. Your gut had an awful feeling about this guy.

As you were reaching for your notepad and pen, a hand stopped you. It was wrapped around your wrist and you looked up in surprise to see the athlete’s eyes sparkling with mischief.

That can’t be good.

“Come on, no one has denied me before. Why won’t you go out with me?”, it made you scoff and you yanked your wrist from his cold, rubbing the red flesh with your other hand.

“Because I’m taken. So, drop it”, that seemed to strike a nerve. He looked furious and fear flowed through your body when he got up.

Before he could reach you, a hand gripped the collar of his shirt, lifting him up and throwing him out of the room. Juyeon rushed to you, gently wiping away tears with his thumbs.

Wait- you were crying? You hadn’t even noticed.

Hyunjae seemed to take the high road and just simply shut the door in the student’s face, locking him out.

They honestly rarely fought but when they did it was brutal. That’s why they tried to never do it in front of you.

“Are you okay? He didn’t touch you?”, you reassured him you were fine by letting him look you over, his eyes quickly looking over you as if you had some hidden life threatening injury.

After some time, you were already feeling better. The boys had made it their mission to make you laugh as much as possible in the classroom, doing silly dances and even tickling you. They just loved your laugh too much.

“Baby, I have an idea for your newspaper”, Hyunjae looked a little dazed. Well, more than dazed. You couldn’t blame him considering you had all been playing a game of cards and you sucked so fucking bad at it. Therefore, your little game of stripping if you lost resulting in the boys completely clothed while you sat there completely bare.

“And what is that?”, you shivered as the cold air hit your back. Juyeon pulled you in between his legs and wrapped his arms around you in an attempt to keep you warm. Plus, his hold was barely below your breasts and he truly did love those.

“Make it a smut”, you gasped when Hyunjae connected his lips with your’s harshly, a little more rough than usual. Then, it hit you, they held all that anger in just to use it on you.

While you would never actually write a smut for the school paper (unless you really wanted to be fired), you liked to idea of using it to rile them up. They loved your writing and, more specifically, the wonderful sex scenes you wrote.

Anytime you were busy, you’d write them one and then you’d be happy to oblige to their request to act it out when you got back to your dorm. Sometimes they were short scenes and sometimes they were long. Either way, the boys were happy to help you fulfill your fantasies.

The only difference today is that there is no prompt. They get to make up the story themselves.

“Do you want me to tell everyone how good you two fuck me? How well you stretch me out?”, just your words alone had Juyeon’s erection desperately trying to escape the confinement of his jeans. You could feel the bulge against your back and you watched as the wetness started to coat your thighs.

“Yes, tell everyone how good we make you feel”, you nodded in agreement and looked at the door, thankful that there was no windows uncovered in the room.

Finally, feeling safe, you turned around and started to unzip Juyeon’s jeans, pulling it down his legs along with his boxers. You simply tossed them, watching them land on the surface of one of the desks.

Hyunjae wasn’t far behind, removing his own clothes and doing a similar action to them, discarding them as if they were the trash beneath his feet.

“Turn around”, you nodded, turned your body back around and you immediately knew what he wanted. You leaned down to make yourself level with his cock, your eyes running over the veins and the angry red tip. Your ass was right where the man wanted it, high up in front of him.

Your lips wrapped around his shaft, running your tongue along the sides to coat it in your saliva. It always made the movements a bit easier. Juyeon groaned and dove his tongue down your slit, suckling at your clit once he reached it.

The moan you let out sent a vibration through his sensitive tip, causing his thighs to shake slightly. It was a beautiful sight.

Not forgetting about your other boyfriend, you looked up to make eye contact with Hyunjae. He licked his lips as he watched you practically gag on the large cock that belonged to Juyeon.

He was always a bit of a voyeur and, as much as he loved the sight, he couldn’t wait any longer. He sat on his knees next to you and moved his own cock closer to your mouth.

Hyunjae was bigger than Juyeon, stretching you out beyond belief but Juyeon was longer, hitting your cervix with every thrust. Both were a perfect mix of pleasure and pain. Different but well balanced.

You brought your head back, releasing Juyeon from your mouth and you replaced where your mouth had been with your hand, jerking the man off. A long string of saliva connected your mouth to his but you couldn’t care because Hyunjae’s dick was far too tempting to forget.

You wrapped your mouth around his cock now, feeling your jaw lock slightly from the sheer volume you had taken in. He was just as delicious as the previous one and you couldn’t help yourself from sucking him like he was your favorite lollipop. To be honest, he was.

Juyeon slipped a finger inside of your dripping cunt and you whimpered, listening to the sound of your pussy clenching around the digit, soaking it in your wetness.

“I think she can take both of us now”, you stopped for a moment, a little surprised. Sure, you three had discussed double penetration but you never really felt ready. Could you really handle that much?

Maybe you could.

“Let’s do it”, your words came out muffled since you were still infatuated with the taste of Hyunjae’s dick. The boys smirked at one another and Hyunjae gripped your hair to pull you off of him. Your hand instinctively let go of Juyeon’s dick too, missing the feeling of having something to play with.

You never liked to sit still but you knew you probably were going to have to after this session.

“Up here then, baby”, Hyunjae chuckled as you yelped, his arms under your body as he laid you across the desk. You winced when a pencil sharpener landed on the floor off the desk, probably breaking into pieces.

How had no one heard you before this? You had no idea.

Juyeon got up off the floor, rushing to Hyunjae’s side. Hyunjae held your thigh and pushed it open more, taking in the beautiful sight of your glistening pussy. It was his favorite work of art and Juyeon wanted nothing more than to continue the feast he was in the middle of.

“Alright, we’ll go one at a time, okay? If we need to stop then tell us. You okay with this still?”, Juyeon asked softly. Despite how cold they were, they still asked for permission and it was especially important now.

“I’m okay with it. I’ll tell you if you have to stop”, you nodded and looked up at the two. Fuck, you were so lucky.

They both had little stars in their eyes whenever they looked at you and it always reminded you that they were indeed your stars. Those little stars in their eyes only lit up when they looked at you.

Hyunjae decided to go first as the bigger of the two, gently easing his way into you. The stretch was slightly uncomfortable at first but no longer painful. You had adjusted to both of them rather quickly solo but together? That may be a bit harder.

Right when he brushed against that specific spot inside of you, you covered your mouth and moaned, gripping the edge of the desk.

Hyunjae watched you, smirking when he realized you were already becoming overwhelmed with pleasure. He loved watching you try to hold onto anything to keep your grounded to reality. He always seemed to bring you to cloud 9.

“All in. Now you’ll take Juyeon too, right? You’ll be a good girl and take him too?”, you nodded obediently and looked between your legs, noticing that Hyunjae had completely bottomed out inside of you. You already seemed so full, a bulge present in your stomach from where Hyunjae had settled.

Truly, no one could make you feel this good with so little effort but them.

Juyeon gripped your other thigh and pressed small kisses there, a gentle reminder that it was okay to stop him. That he loved you.

He sucked a few marks to the skin, making you whine because once they start they don’t stop. You’ll be covered in marks by the end of the hour.

Once you were spread wider, almost completely folded, Juyeon guided his cock in beside Hyunjae’s. Now, that hurt.

“Slower! Slower please”, Juyeon quickly nodded, noticing that your eyes were watering. He gently wiped them away and stayed still for a moment so you could get used to the stretch. When you nodded, he slowly moved again and you felt your vagina quickly adjust to the size. Like you were made to handle both.

And, now, you couldn’t stop moaning under your hand. It did very little to muffle the noises but it was your only hope of not getting caught.

Hyunjae was pressed against your g-spot as Juyeon had taken it upon himself to settle his tip against your cervix. And, inside of you, their cocks rubbed against each other in an unspoken competition to see who could go deeper.

Of course, Juyeon would win that category but that didn’t matter to Hyunjae.

Both watched their bulges in your stomach as one pulled out and pushed back in. Then, they started alternating until you were so stretched out that they could move together in perfect unison.

The sounds of skin slapping filled the room as they fucked you raw, sharing you in the most perfect way. Everything felt so good that you could already feel the knot forming in your stomach, begging to be released and coat their cocks in your cum.

“You like it, hm? Does it feel good?”, Juyeon teased as he watched your eyes roll back and your nails dig into the wood beneath you. You nodded but your love didn’t like that. He gripped your throat, squeezing it slightly right where he needed to.

The blissful feeling only became more unbearable as you felt some oxygen escape your throat. Tears spilled down your cheeks before he let go, allowing you to breathe.

“Yes! Fuck, I love it!”, the boys leaned down to suck marks all over your breasts, stomach, and hips. Still easy to hide but you knew that wasn’t going to last long.

Their hips snapped against your core as they moved, Hyunjae’s pelvis bone rubbing against your clit perfectly. It made your mouth hang open in a tiny scream and you couldn’t hold it anymore, squirting all over the two as you came.

You had never done that and you were scared that they would hate it but the bright smiles on their faces made you relax. It made you feel good and that’s all that mattered to them.

As the thrusts continued, you squirmed from the overstimulation and Juyeon had to pin you down by your wrists to keep you from falling off the desk.

Their movements became more sloppy and they came together, filling up your clenching cunt with their cum. You felt way too full with all of it and their cocks still inside of you, tapping Juyeon’s arm in a silent plea.

He understood and nodded at Hyunjae, the both of them pulling out to milk the rest of their orgasm’s on whatever they could find. Your thighs, clit, stomach, chest, arms, etc. You looked like the filthiest thing they’ve ever seen and they couldn’t be more proud.

Juyeon put his clothes back on and went out to grab a towel from the locker room as Hyunjae just stared at the cum spilling out of you and down the side of the unfortunate wooden desk.

He seemed to be deep in thought as you tried to breathe correctly, his finger entering your hole without warning and you looked down to see him pull it out. He looked you dead in the eye as he licked off the mixture of cream, humming happily when he found out he loved the taste.

“We taste delicious together”, he leaned down and held your ankles as he started to lap at the cum dripping out of you, eating it up like it was a five star meal. You shivered from the feeling of his warm muscle meeting your cold skin as he licked you clean, licking his lips every time he came up for air.

“How in the world am I going to write an article when that is in my head?”, you motioned to the sight of the cum dripping down his chin. His lips were swollen and his brown locks stuck to his forehead from the sweat. He looked ravishing.

“Smut”, he popped the m for emphasis and you shook your head, letting him kiss you so you could taste it too. It tasted like the best mixture of fruit and you found yourself diving your tongue in his mouth for more.

“Oh yeah, we definitely have to stay together if this is how good we taste”, you giggled and Juyeon had entered just in time to get a taste too. He kissed you, swirling his tongue inside of your mouth before he pulled away. He licked his lips and acted as if he was critiquing a meal.

“I’d have to give my thanks to the chef”, he joked and you smiled, letting out a little chuckle as you tried to sit up but your legs were not having it and neither were your boyfriends.

They rubbed your thighs as you laid back down, trying to ease the soreness in them. Juyeon kissed your hand lovingly and your heart swelled from all the love you felt for the two.

You had no doubt that they were really the ones you were going to spend your life with.

“Looks like the school newspaper is going to have to wait. Unless you feel like writing on a cum stained desk”, Hyunjae chuckled and you huffed, knowing that that paper was definitely not going to be done by its due date.

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amintyworld · 3 years

Text

Michael Underscore Beloved Headcannons:

Michael did not speak for the longest time which made both Tubbo and Ranboo worried. He’d make a few pig noises here and there but that was it.

Happy squeals when he was very cheerful, grunts when he was angry, small whines when he was sad.

It was only when he had a big breakdown one day they brought the kid over to Uncle Techno, who began speaking in piglin to him to help him calm down, that they realized he didn’t know English. Technoblade gives him lessons every Tuesday from then on.

The first word he says is ‘Dad’ to both Tubbo and Ranboo at the same time when they were putting him to bed and he didn’t want them to leave yet, still a little scared of the dark. Both of them had that moment where they were both convinced they were the ones who got called ‘Dad’.

Cue little zombie piglin rushing in after a nightmare a few hours later, tears in his eyes as he looks at both of them, and they rush over to comfort him, the piglin hugging them both tearfully. “Dad!”

He has a stuffed animal chicken that he cannot get to sleep without, he calls it ‘mine’ so Tubbo and Ranboo just call the stuffie ‘Michael’s Chicken’.

Michael loves loves LOVES carrots, so much so that he��d find ways to climb on counters and reach high places to grab carrots to munch on, places often even he doesn’t even know how he got up there in the first place.

Tommy, first time babysitting, had no idea what he was in for, and nearly lost him for almost 40 minutes when he was just chilling on top of the fridge.

Speaking of Tommy, he’s Michael’s favorite babysitter by far. Often he’ll ask for more stories of his adventures, and of course Tommy may have twisted them a bit on how cool he really was in a few situations, but Michael loved hearing them. He even drew him and Tommy fighting against a slimy green monster labeled ‘Drem’. Tommy nearly cried when Michael showed him and keeps the drawing in his echest.

When Michael is misbehaving, often Ranboo will just pick him up with his tail and hover him off the ground in a timeout as he wriggles and squirms, crossing his arms angrily. This is the only way that piglin will ever sit still - Tubbo tried telling him to sit in a chair but found him with his hand in the cookie jar five minutes later.

Sometimes Tubbo will go out gathering honey for breakfast (Tubbo loves honey on toast) and bring Michael with him, who’ll sit there, looking up in absolute awe, pointing excitedly. “Bee!”

During something very urgent, Tubbo drops Michael off with Phil as he assures worried Ranboo and Tubbo over and over again that he’s in good hands, since the piglin is not used to being with anyone alone except for Tommy.

Phil spends the day with him playing out in the snow, and while cooking lunch for both of them Phil lets Michael wear his hat, and the piglin just lets out the happiest squeal - “Fil!”

When a snowstorm approaches later as night falls they make a campfire and Phil shows him how to make s’mores. The small piglin ends up passing out on the couch wearing Phil’s hat, and Phil just pulls the blanket up on him. “Night, little mate.”

When Michael gets a cold for the first time Tubbo and Ranboo go into full on PANIC MODE and then when they call up Phil he has to reassure them, no he’s not dying, he’s just sick.

As Techno’s English lessons improve he learns to read and of course Technoblade reads him all the Greek Mythology stories he has, and ends up calling Tommy “Fee-Fee” for Thesesus thanks to some encouragement from the Blade himself.

Bath Time used to always be a struggle until Ranboo found ‘Mr Duck’, an old rubber duckie from Phil’s older things - stuff that he kept from when Wilbur was a baby - that he washed and cleaned which entertained the piglin to no end.

Michael loves shiny things just about as much as he loves carrots, and that’s saying something. He became quite the little thief at taking anything shiny - gold ingots, iron ingots, diamonds, Ranboo’s crown - and making a little stash in his room. They eventually broke him of the habit, though his love of gold never really went away.

Tommy once, trying to be the cool uncle, went on a thieving trip for shiny things with Michael, and though many of the things they stole he had to return, he let him keep a gold nugget, which Michael treasured ever since, Tubbo even making the nugget into a necklace he could wear.

Ranboo, being the taller of the two, loves putting Michael up on his shoulders to go on walks, even introducing him to a few endermen after telling him the zombie piglin wasn’t a threat.

Michael was so scared at first, clinging behind Ranboo to his legs, holding out his small wooden play sword in fear. Ranboo knelt down next to him and gently pull away his sword to lay in the snow. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, don’t be scared...” One of the enderman just comes up to Michael, looking to him in wonder before gently patting his head, letting out a glitched chirp before disappearing. “Where?!” Michael yelled, reaching to grab his sword again before the enderman appears again, making Michael scared and scrambling back into Ranboo’s arms. “It’s okay, it’s okay, look...” Ranboo reassured him as Michael looks over to see the creature offering up a dirt block, tilting its head in curiosity. Michael slowly approached, taking the block as the enderman picked up another and placed it beside the child, letting out another glitched chirp to encourage him. Looking over to his father for a moment, Michael moved to place the dirt next to the enderman’s, looking up to the creature, who leaned down to pat his head again as Michael hugged it tightly. Ranboo had never been more proud of him.

When a few people on the SMP started staring at the dark hole where his right eye should be, (not trying to be mean of course, they’re just a bit shocked when they finally meet him) Michael began to try to hide his face behind his parents more to avoid being seen. They told him that they knew a secret that he couldn’t tell anyone: people stared at him because he was special, so amazingly special that sometimes people were jealous of him and his amazing chicken herding and bravery. He brightened up after that, promising and crossing his heart never to tell, since it could make the others embarrassed. Michael grew more and more confident since then, and his parents could not be more prouder.

They were right. He was special. He was their special boy, and he always would be. <3

———————————

What do you guys think? I’d love to make more of these, I have some ideas/Headcannons of older Michael if you guys are interested!! Hope you enjoyed, I love Michael so far and his place in cannon as well as lore, little tiny zombie piglin boy my beloved-! -Minty

#dsmpblr #dream smp #dream smp headcannon #michael the zombie piglin #c!tubbo #c!ranboo #dadboo #tubdad #c!techno #c!phil #c!philza #c!tommy #uncle technoblade #uncle tommy #young michael the zombie piglin #michael underscore beloved #dream smp fluff #minty’s headcannons

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hhjs · 3 years

Text

forget me not.

♡ based on — "During times of war. I want to say: I only love you, And I cling you, Like the peel clings to a pomegranate, Like the tear clings to the eye, Like the knife clings to the wound." and the song nightlife by daydream masi.

♡ summary — Hyunjin's unsure of the tingle in his gut, why it's happening. But he thinks, just for a second, it feels a little like hope.

wherein, putting your heart on the line for the sake of doing favours isn’t a frequent component in your schedule. But what happens when this favour is asked for by the boy you may or may not have fancied for far too long?

You accept it.

For a very embarrassing reason, really, which is — you think Hwang Hyunjin needs you.

♡ pairing— hwang hyunjin x reader

♡ word count— 8.8k whoopsies

♡ genre and alternate universe — angst, fluff + hanahaki au.

♡ author's note— this was supposed to be a drabble and then i sort of lost my fucking mind ehe...also this is easily the worst thing i have ever written im so sorry aaa but this is a lil present from my end hahaha

♡ warnings— suggestive content, vomiting, mention of blood. allusions to depression and heartbreak.

Amongst other things, you're extremely bad at saying 'no'. You don't mean the word per se...but the underlying connotation of this very monosyllable which may come at the expense of letting another person down.

It's sort of stupid, you understand, your friends have constantly voiced their worries for your extremely complacent nature more often than you'd think actually. But it all goes over your head. See — old habits really do die hard.

When you're eight, this very defect takes you to dreadful saxophone lessons your mum spoke so highly of. When you're 15, it gets you called to the principal's office for flashing Jeongin trigonometric functions in Mister Choi's pop quiz, when you're older, things are definitely no different.

The passenger seat is occupied, Hyunjin's holding a tangled muffler to his suede jacket clad chest. At 21, he's become someone you used to know. A friend of a friend, Felix's to be very specific. But the man in question, who was supposed to be his ride, passes off this duty for kegstands and you just happen to be the designated driver for the night, shuffling Jisung beside Changbin and Chan, who claims to be 'sober' even though he's half asleep.

Hyunjin is uncharacteristically quiet.

There's a polite smile on rendered your way as your eyes meet. A small curvature along his plump bottom lip, tighter around the edges. Still this simple formality is so beautiful that you feel something inside you come alive.

When Jisung starts snoring, you flip on the radio and Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here comes on.

Your fingers feel numb when they come to tap out a rhythm to the track. It's nice. Tingling guitar riffs swelling, David Gilmour's gruffy voice pours in from faulty speakers. The more the song progresses, the more you find yourself attempting to think about anything that will distract you from the boy beside you, in the flesh no less.

So late at night, the main road is eerily silent. Cobblestones reflecting the sound of tires thumping against its layout, streetlights blinking at you from their drooping heads. Across the street, a baker is tucking away leftover bread and buskers are packing up their beat up guitars, a man in his late 50's pulling his blanket to his nose as he rests a head full of gray hair on the cold pavement.

You glance at Hyunjin from the corner of your eye and find that his staggering smile has completely disappeared. Now there's a distant glaze in his eyes. It's like he's here, in this moment, with you, but at the same time, he's somewhere else.

Under the impression you've done something wrong, you immediately begin to panic. But the thing is, you don't actually know if you should ask. Would it constitute as crossing a line if you had anyway?

Hyunjin covers his mouth with a sleeve, muffled retching building beyond fabric.

The reasonable assumption is obvious. It's not abnormal to be nauseous when you've got one too many drinks in you. He motions for you to pull over, incoherent sentences practically melding together, words forming and dissipating between choking fits.

You scramble to dig out a bottle of mineral water you habitually deposit in the glove compartment, offering him the tissue first. Ears perking up in satisfaction when a garbled thanks escapes his parted lips. But then... something weird happens.

As your eyes flicker to unintentionally glance at the contents discarded on the pitch grey sidewalk, you freeze in your seat.

You were never a big believer of superstition, not someone who buys into myths only meant for the fiction genre. Sure, you can be gullible sometimes...but what's happening falls no way under the realistic category.

The lethal Hanahaki disease, only inherited by some unlucky descendants, every moment in your head prior to this one, was something that's obviously non existent.

Yet... there's so much blood, too much blood attesting to your blatant ignorance. The petals are of a white rose, smudging together in swirls of grotesque crimson in mimicry of a sheen of red sticking to the inner corners of his lips. It has happened before, you can tell, from just how unsurprised he looks.

Hyunjin's stare flits to commit every detail of your to memory, in what only seems a quick study of gauging your forthcoming reaction, though even before you can produce a coherent thought, he says,

"You can't tell anyone." His voice drops a few octaves as though he's afraid your snoring friends in the back might've noticed. "Please."

Hyunjin's face softens by the slightest, contrary to his firm demand, there lies a desperation you couldn't overlook.

In retrospect, what you're about to tell is ultimately a promise that'd come back to bite you in due time. However, see now, you're extremely bad at saying no. Somehow you're even worse when it comes to Hyunjin. So you blink, turn the radio off and say,

"Okay."

—

The pool is preheated. For that you're most thankful.

Frankly, you couldn't imagine what it'd be like being pushed into a chilly body of water mid winter. Not that it's pleasant otherwise, you can't swim.

Well at 15, you hadn't quite learned to. The other kids have scurried inside to hog freshly baked Snowman biscuits Seungmin's mum is renowned for.

Then and you think you'll never quite forget it, Hyunjin's wearing an orange power ranger t shirt, it's darker now that it's wet, his glasses are marked with uneven splatters. His face scrunches up at the sudden splash of wetness engulfing his body. He wasn't planning to get in the water.

"Hold on tight." He says, wounding your arms around his neck, your calves tighter to his sides to support your shivering body. Back then Hyunjin's hair was black, cropped short and swept to the side, he smells like fabric softener and skittles. A water donut is discarded in the middle of the pool.

Everybody you know and don't know, from the birth of superheroes stuck in comic books to valiant protagonists behind fuzzy television screens, has this inherent desire to be saved. From the world, from themselves. No, no, it doesn't have to be a grand gesture, swooping them off of their feet from the grasp of surly men in dark alleys, sometimes it's really just simple. Sometimes people save you in the most ordinary way there is.

The weight of your form on his bright pink water donut while he stood on his toes to merely rest his elbows so the item wouldn't flip, a small act, certified this very claim, had not the nimble touch of his cold fingers, brushing away wet hair from your face, to anxiously ask if you're okay met the purpose. He talks to you like the sound of his voice has the power to injure you.

You nod slowly. Like this, it feels like you're going to be.

Hyunjin pouts, looking perfectly unconvinced. He paddles the pair of you to steel stairs spiraling into the pool, so he can stand without just his nose peeking out of the water, he looks at you once again, a wrinkle between his dark, arched eyebrows and says solemnly, "Jisung's such an idiot sometimes, isn’t he?"

But isn't he your friend? You want to ask. Something stops you though —his tone tells you you aren't the only one to fall victim to Jisung's practical jokes. Not that they were offensive or anything. Han Jisung, the same person who twiddles his thumbs when he wants the last chicken nugget and cries every time you watch Howl's Moving Castle together, genuinely doesn't mean any harm. It's just that...when he's comfortable with people, who aren't many, he tends to do a lot of dumb things. Dumb, endearing things that Minho will kill him for someday.

"A little bit," You mumble under your breath. Heat rising to your face at the possibility of Hyunjin being concerned for you. He sounds almost angry. "Thanks by the way."

It's rather pitiful to remember. Because with time, Hyunjin's world becomes so big that your interaction stands to be too insignificant to not forget. Before you know it, he's the shooting guard of your school's basketball team, just a handsome face who dates better girls, makes better friends. It's superficial and a little sad.

No, no, a little sad is an understatement actually.

To see someone you understood intimately, a boy who always described details too much just to stray from the main story, a boy with too many emotions bubbling to an awfully animated surface; someone who was passionate, sensitive and so nauseatingly big hearted...change into a man who is indubitably untouchable...is tragic. At least.

Yet funnily enough — you can't quite imagine a world without Hwang Hyunjin. His ringing laughter rippling through loud ambiences, his distant humming of Christmas carols whilst he absently skimmed through spines of children's novels and his eyes glimmering in adoration whenever he spoke of something he loved — Without him, you imagine, there would be a massive deficiency in your world, in the world. Like if birthday cakes came with the biggest slice carved out.

Hyunjin grins, a big sort of candid grin that turns his eyes into upturned crescents. His previous temperament long forgotten. Suddenly, this utterly atrocious happening seems to not be so bad. Suddenly you don't mind that Jisung is an idiot sometimes.

"Of course."

—

Hyunjin is not perfect. Hyunjin is no prince charming.

People don't know this. They don't understand this.

He ends up paying for dinner when he's out with a big crowd even though they were supposed to split the bill, he ends up crying when he gets angry and he is an abysmal liar, in every sense of the phrase. Hardly ever succeeding to hide his emotions when he should. When he was a kid his parents reminded him that it's a good thing to be unapologetically himself, that being honest is a good thing.

But as your eyes meet from across an ocean of people quagmired by crunchy leaves, sticky remnants of rain and his ex girlfriend who he now claims to be okay with being friends with, on her toes to poke his cheek whilst Chan's arm wraps around her waist, the soft white roses ornamented on a bow she loves wearing all the time, he thinks it's far from an agreeable trait to have.

Actually whilst you balance a newspaper under your arm and bring your coffee to your lips, it's like you're looking through him, past his skin, his flesh, something secret inscribed on his bones, embedded into his soul. You know everything, you know everything, you know everything.

The thought itself... surprisingly enough, doesn't appal him.

Hyunjin raises his palm in the air, feeling the autumn prickling against his skin. He waves at you.

—

Working at a library can be taxing. But it sure has its perks.

You can just about turn the place upside down and put it all back together without getting in trouble. Albeit another reason, besides your profession could be that Minho owns the place. Frankly, he may or may not have been the only cause behind your employment. It's hard to tell now that your co-workers really do recognise you've a knack for arranging things.

But to you, your job is very personal. A precious thing which relieves you from various worldly tensions. Velvety spines under your roughened fingertips, the burst of minted pages hitting your face every time you walk in, your love for reading, for a world of stories is so immense that you think you wouldn't have traded it even if your life depended on it.

For a disease that's not very well known, it's ironic how an entire section of mythology is dedicated to it. Past closing hours, amongst many novels mounted on your desk, you fixate on the one that made most sense. There's a few things you've picked up in common from all of them though — the hanahaki disease is extremely rare, it doesn't affect all those who suffer from the qualms of unrequited love.

Possible remedy according to findings entail

growths can be surgically removed, if the patient consents to eradication of memories of their loved ones.

Clanking of keys alerts incoming and you pause your tapping pen to look up.

"Burning the midnight oil, are we?"

Minho leans against the doorframe, he's half yawning, half talking and fully concerned for you.

"Yeah, looks like I'm gonna be a while." Your monotonous tone provides that you are not paying a lot of attention. You blurt without looking up. "Are you leaving?"

"No, still haven't finished archiving for that Pfizer project...But I'm going to get a bite to eat..." His inky eyes remain on you as his tone falters, "You want anything?"

"I'm fine. Thanks."

"Wow you're like...really uh invested." He tilts his head in thought, "You seeing someone again?"

You know Minho long enough to know he has a teasing side to him, from diaper days to play dates ending in pillow fights because he kept offering you his last Pringle just to pop it into his stupid smirking mouth — but you have no idea where he's going with this.

So you look up, finally. Furrowing your brows.

"No. What does that have to do with anything?"

He shrugs, "I haven't seen you concentrate so hard since you dumped Jeongin."

Your right eye twitches. Because you know exactly what he's referring to, and simultaneously, for the sake of your well-being, you much prefer being in denial. "What?"

"C'mon. Remember how you always ended up doing his homework?" He reminds you. "It's like when you like someone, you go out of your way to do charitable stuff for them. But...this? Too much. Even for you."

You ignore Minho's comment. To the world, Hwang Hyunjin's place in your life is not significant. After all this is the most natural undulation in the vicissitudes of life — for someone who once was your friend to eventually drift apart, to become a has been. It's too hard to explain why you care. After all this time.

"I was just being nice." You narrow your eyes, unimpressed. "Clearly this concept is lost on some people."

"Sure you are, bud. If being 'nice' is synonymous with whipped." Of course, there's a smug grin gracing his pouted lips that tempts you to fling something at him. Not that you can though. Seeing as Minho breaks out into a full fledged sprint, his singsongy voice a thinning echo bouncing off of shelves and windows and doors.

Still somehow his footsteps manage to travel through walls, permeating into your office with such great amplitude that you could be bamboozled into thinking he hasn't left at all. Or maybe you've stopped paying attention, your eyes zoom in on any other helpful detail you can put to use in wrapping your head around what you have witnessed firsthand.

At the same time, you can't really ignore how hungry you're feeling just from the mention of a bite to eat. So when Minho's shadow forms again on the page you've been 'reading' for the last few seconds you sense a gigantic wave of relief washing over you.

"You know what I changed my—" slamming the book shut, you blink against scanty provision of light, with raise your head and a bleary vision, recognise him in an instant. Except...it isn't Minho. "mind..."

The only source of brightness is a small emerald lamp perched on the corner of your desk, light green catches onto one of the ornamented corners and speckles of golden caress his supple skin gently. You hadn't realised how cold it might've been outside until you see how heavily dressed Hyunjin was, a long overcoat worn over woollen sweater, a Santa hat and muffler pulled to his chin. It's no one other than your boss himself who has given him directions to your office, you know this, Hyunjin has never been inside before.

So when he marvels absently, you sense yourself feeling a little self conscious about not cleaning up. All around you, a comforter and love seat pushed against the window, cigarette butts discarded in ashtray and then...the books strewn before you tell him you practically live here.

For some reason, Hyunjin only seems to loosen up at the spectacle.

"Hi." He says finally.

"Hi..." you arrange the reading materials quickly to one side so you can rest your elbows. A small (successful) attempt made to hide your research. "Something up?" You say, but what you really mean is, what are you doing here?!

Did he suspect you were going to tell on him? Right that's it, that must be it, you tell yourself, believing, knowing, of all the years Hwang Hyunjin has known of you he has never been one to care about your whereabouts.

"I just...um," He starts, forwarding his mitten clad hands. It's the back of a crumpled coffee cup on which straight handwriting reads a bucket list...of sorts. You immediately understand that his coming is an act of impulse. Urgency of living every moment like it's slipping through it's fingers, that he just needed to tell the only person who knows, be it by accident.

Hyunjin clears his throat. "I wanna do all this before I die."

In lieu of giving an instant response, baffled, you gawp at him. Despite knowing, hearing Hyunjin say it out loud somehow makes everything...too real.

It's as though someone's reached inside your throat, pulled your heart out and crushed it with their bare hands. Hyunjin, the boy who smelled like fabric softener and skittles and wore power ranger shirts, the boy with the fantastic smile and cold fingers, is dying. You won't let him. You can't let him.

You thumb along the numbers scribbled in hasty penmanship, look up and blink rapidly, "Okay," you say, a small whisper, barely there words. "That's okay."

Even with the hat covering tips of ears, you could tell the same faint blush coating his cheeks had rushed to that particular area. His eyes drift off to the sight of pens discarded inside a wooden holder because he can feel your gaze on him. "and I...I need your help."

"Alright."

Hyunjin's eyes widen to a great degree, he sits straighter, as if he hadn't expected you to comply so quickly.

And honestly? Neither had you.

It's quiet. Awkward.

"You know it's not like I haven't thought about dying. I just figured I'd get to grow old first, settle down, have kids and all that," A wry laugh escapes his parted lips. "Everything's happening too fast."

You hesitate, thinking he's making a mistake. Frankly he shouldn't feel obligated to give you an explanation.

"You...you don't have to tell me."

"No—I mean...can I?" He gives you a sheepish look, disliking his own whimsical tone, somehow endearing still. You find yourself wondering how long he had to keep his burdens to himself, not just pertaining to his illness, but everything. His dreams, his hopes, his fears. Anything which requires a certain amount of depth. And you almost ask him, the question sitting at the tip of your tongue, yet the realisation rather simple, stops you. Maybe you've mistranslated 21 year old Hyunjin all along — moulding himself into someone who's convenient around people who only liked him for who he appeared to be, maybe even with all that popularity, parties and glamour, he's just...lonely.

You push your reading glasses into your hair, press your knuckles under your chin and hum in consent.

He shifts in his seat, "Have you ever... been in love?"

You release an amused huff. Let your eyes linger on him for a long minute.

"Once."

Hyunjin half expects you to laugh. Poke fun at him for his melodramatic backstory. That's the sole reason why he doesn't tell his friends (funny, for people he considers close, they seem to know not much about him or care to know, that is. ). But you... you look at him with something in your eyes that tells him the rubbish reasons he posited makes all the sense in the world. Hyunjin's unsure of the tingle in his gut, why it's happening. But he thinks, just for a second, it feels a little like hope.

—

Midnight rendezvous.

As someone who has lived a fairly extraordinary life, Hwang Hyunjin's bucket list is bafflingly ordinary. He's more of a finding joy in small things kind of a person, punctilious at best.

Things change. People notice. They hesitate, whisper about you and last night while you were out on last minute cheap wine run, the grocerer, a girl who looks around sixteen asks you if you're dating Hyunjin. Underneath the thinly veiled curiousity, there's something like anger dripping from her words.

You furrow your eyebrows in simple insinuation that it's weird for a stranger to take interest in your life. Maybe it was written on your face, the fact that you're a dying man's beck and call is for reasons far more complicated than it looks.

You go to his parties. Greet him as a friend would and not just for the sake of maintaining formalities. He comes to the library more times than he does, waits for you to get off work so you can check something off the list at least. People notice. People understand. Hyunjin's different around you. He's bright, talkative when he forgets to contain himself. You sense your heart swelling with pride just at the understanding that he can be himself around you.

You drive to the beach, sit in your trunk and drink straight out of the bottle.

Hyunjin laughs a little. Suspends his feet in the air. With time, he's gotten paler, exhausted. "Rough day?"

You hum.

"Very. Our children's collection is usually low in stock around the weekends."

Hyunjin crosses his arms over his chest. Curious.

"And?"

"And if I say I got yelled at by a toddler would you believe me?"

Hyunjin feigns contemplation, even with the realisation that his body is becoming less and less cooperative, he manages to remain perfectly cheerful.

"I can actually," he grins, "At that age, I was a real pain in the ass."

"Were?"

Your smile is just a slight curl against the bottle's mouth as he grumbles under his breath about your 'insensitive' remark.

You think of your life after Hyunjin, think of his absence like a gaping hole you'll never be able to fill out. It makes you sick to your stomach.

—

Bake something from scratch.

Hyunjin's face twists in apparent thought, eyebrows rising. A pink tongue poked against his cheek, whilst he chews carefully, trying really hard not to flash an accidental reaction whilst you clasp your butter and oat flour soiled hands together, some of the batter on your cheek, neck to anticipate his answer like your will to live depends on it.

You ask yourself how it got to this. Why you didn't care that you were awake so early on a Sunday morning with flour powdering every kitchen appliance in sight in spite of being awfully restrictive about who you let into your kitchen. But it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter because it's nice like this.

Hyunjin has his hair pulled away from his bare face, a mole under his eye, a small birthmark on the back of his ear.

When you first met, you thought he was a kind of handsome that couldn't be real. Something formidable about it. Only destined to exist behind fuzzy television screens and flashy magazines.

But in retrospect, you realise, that that's not true at all.

If you look close enough, if you really pay attention, there's a softness underneath, something goofy, something warm, the sharp jut of his nose circling into a soft button, his eyes are big, black and his mouth jutted out into a natural pout, he looks innocent, like he doesn't quite realise the extent of his charms.

"It's..." His soft voice pulls you out of your reverie, and you look up to find his eyes glimmering jovially. Every time it surprises you, the lack of regret in them and the abundance of nonchalance. You wonder what it means to love someone like that, to love someone to the point of martyrdom. It shouldn't be like this. "perfect,"

"This is like, the only batch we didn't burn, right?"

You snort, "Yeah." Fully turn to him, "You know what they say, fifth time's the charm."

Hyunjin's laugh, you think, is so contagious that it makes it an imperative to smile in return. In shaky compartments the sound comes, like being 8, laying wide-eyed in a paddling pool and staring up at a crayon blue sky, raindrop rippling beyond all that noiseless water. His eyes curve to upturned crescents, an unconscious hand covering up the seams of his lips whilst he shakes his head. You don't even notice when he starts speaking again.

"Huh?"

"I said you got a little...something..."

You almost lose a fraction of your sanity when his nimble fingers come to wrap around your wrist while you hold onto the spatula employed into the whole snickerdoodle batter mixing business, a liberated hand coming up to gently wipe your cheek. It means everything to you. And nothing to him.

Later, when you're alone at night, really alone, you put your palm to your chest and feel the unsteady beat of your heart. A warning, a reminder. I can't. I can't. I can't.

—

You hold Hyunjin's hair up. His hands resting on the cold toilet seat, he's whimpering and bleeding. It happens every time he sees Haseul, or something which reminds him of her. Like the song.

This time she's drunk. And it's because she impulsively rises to her toes and presses a tender kiss to Chan's lips.

Hyunjin's just a feet away, across students and solo cups and streaks of neon falling irregularly through his line of sight.

He can never confess, not to her. The last thing Hyunjin wants is for her to feel bad for him. To say she feels the same as an act of service. He tells you. You understand. Somehow... you always understand.

They met in college, Hyunjin and she. And Chan was an upperclassman who seemed to be good at...well everything. At first, he couldn't figure out why it never occured to him before, the fact they were getting together maybe before, after or during the length of their relationship.

Though the answer is simple.

Hyunjin thinks the pillar to good relationships is trust. Call him a sappy romantic or whatever but he had seen true love manifest from it through generations before him and his parents and their parents. To think a different fate was woven for him...used to be unimaginable.

How ironic is that?

Hyunjin presses his cheek against your chest because he doesn't want you to look at him when he cries.

Then for the first time....he tells you he's scared. He's scared of what will happen to him. Of what is happening to him.

He's falling apart.

You cradle him, press him closer to your body like you're trying to put him together. People can't fix each other. Not really. But sometimes... they're worth the try.

"Hey...hey...it's alright," You shush him, run your fingers through his hair. Your voice almost breaking, faltering. Still this, this you mean it with every fibre of your being. "It's okay to be scared."

—

Self bleach hair.

It's Christmas and you're late for a late night dinner he's putting together. (As reluctant as he was about getting along with Hyunjin, he seems all too eager to make invite him whenever a get together takes effect.)

His apartment smells like floor cleaner. There's a queen sized bed pushed against an electric blue wall, a Fleetwood Mac poster taped to his door, small reading desk where Canon EOS New Kiss rests, polaroids of things checked off the list littered all its wooden surface.

You pick up the only photo he hasn't labelled, it reminds you that your friendship isn't just based off a pursuit. This is natural. Pizza box discarded between you two, on your roof top. It's a little too dark, you're holding a cigarette between your fingers, you're laughing and Hyunjin looks like he's going to complain the minute he's done taking the picture. (And he does.)

You smile, pressing your fingers against it like the touch could transport you to a simpler time.

"Ready to go?"

Hyunjin rakes a tentative hand through his newly dyed hair, grey (a suitable colour he says.). You can tell he's put a lot of effort into cleaning up, his usual hoodies and sweats alternated with a red satin shirt tucked into dark dress pants and a coat of the same colour. Hyunjin is beautiful. Perhaps even more like this. In fact, the extent of this quality is so Goliath-like that it obliges dolled up attendees to marvel up in awe. While you fully agree with their unsaid ponderings, you really do, you find yourself missing a less sophisticated version of him.

"Yeah, but first..." you fish out a wrapped squarish material from the depths of your pocket. Hyunjin's eyes widen, two bunny-like teeth showing for the extent of his grin.

"You got me a present!" He all but rips it out of your hand, shaking the material eagerly. He’s a Christmas person, a supreme holiday enthusiast if you will. The sheer excitement in him projects itself in every physical aspect possible. Slight jumping on the balls of his feet. "It's a cassette...?"

You speak too much, nervous he doesn't like it. "It’s a Christmas mix. I thought...since you like carols. I know it's a little old school, I'm sorry if that’s not what you were hoping for—"

Hyunjin pulls you into a big hug, wrapping his entire body it feels like; his arms around your waist, he squeezes you tighter against him, "Thank you." He whispers into your hair, it's not just about the cassette, you can tell.

There's a small light bulb dangling from his ceiling, he hasn't fixed it since the first time you pointed it out. You can tell with your eyes closed, you've begun to know more intimately than your own home. It's safe here. A place that deludes you into thinking that he's not running out of time, that even in his absence in the world, whenever you should walk into this room, it would be an imperative to find Hyunjin lazying about in its confines. Familiarity can be quite tricky, can't it?

His gratitude is not unknown to you. It's in the guilty smile that threatens to show every now and then, it's in this and it's in that. In many ways, it is not something you're a stranger to.

And yet the words manage to tears your heart at the seams. Just a little.

—

Make a snow angel.

From above, he imagines, he may appear to look like a chunk of cookie dough in an ice cream pint.

The snow is not as comfortable as it appears, its frigid temperature seeps into Hyunjin's clothes (and what feels like his internal organs, if that's even possible). He waves his hands and legs inward, outward.

Your head tilts towards him. Face twisted in annoyance. "You're getting on my wing!" You say. "Have you no respect for personal space?!"

Hyunjin narrows his eyes jovially. And people tell him he's the one with a penchant for theatrics. He leans closer in rebuttal, waving his leg around your design with more purpose. You give up. Sit on your knees, fumble with the snow. He’s still in the same position. Smug as ever...

"This is what happens when you disrespect your elders." He fake-warns. "Oka—"

What he doesn't anticipate, however, is the snowball you launch on his stupid grinning face. Now it's your turn to laugh. You clutch your stomach and point at him whilst he glares at you having barely managed to blow the snow off of his mouth.

"Oh, you're gonna get it now!"

You let out an animalistic screech, Hyunjin’s already trapped you under his weight, his thighs wound around your waist, hamstringing your plan to escape, now you're merely squirming. His fingers come down to attack your sides, digging into the flesh so mercilessly to the point you’re not sure if you’re laughing or crying. It's like there's a wildfire inside your lungs.

For a moment you forget, you let yourself forget what's to come.

“Alright, alright I’m sorry!” you press your palms against his chest in an attempt to push him off, Hyunjin has a dumb smile on his face that seems to give the impression of a hanger stuck inside his mouth. But... there's something behind his entertainment as the sound of his laugh dies down, chest heaving with exercise. His smile drops.

You can count each lash, each freckle and line on his face. The dark in his eyes. The pink of his lips. Your sweater's ridden to your ribs. And the warmth of his fingers shifting against your bare skin hits you with an earthshattering force.

Hyunjin kisses you. For a fleeting second, you freeze. Rigid with shock. Then it passes as soon as it comes.

You let out a noise of content,indubitably grateful that your neighbours forgot to put on their porch light for the night. See it’s like this, the act of kissing is not as special as is the person himself, you muse, you can kiss anyone, you can touch and be touched by anyone. But none of that truly compares to this. Not when they aren't him.

You’d be lying if you said you never thought about it. Just like you’ve thought about a lot of things. But just the realisation that the boy you’ve harboured in your heart for more complicated reasons than you disclose, to yourself even, touches you with so, so much care...it’s tearing you apart.

It’s too good to be real.

You suddenly push him away. The tugging and pulling at your heart too much to handle. For the fact remains — Hyunjin doesn't love you. He doesn't even like you. You never expected him to. Actually, you've never felt what you feel with that condition in mind either.

See when the feeling of having everything you could ever want is cradled between your palms...it ought to be hard to let go. (Maybe he’s just doing this because he feels bad for you, the little voice in your head says. You listen.)

Hyunjin speaks up first.

“I love Haseul.” he tells you, but it sounds more like he’s telling himself. “That’s why...that’s why, all this...I love her.” Not you.

You swallow, “I know.” Your hands come up to dust your pants. Hyunjin’s still on his knees, as if the answer to his conflicts are deposited under all the snow. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, it’s not okay. I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have done—”

Now you hear it, the hint of pity in his voice. You don’t mean to sound as bitter as you do. Seeing as you’re usually very good at keeping calm , breaking that very reputed front frustrates you even more.

“Look just forget about it, okay? We don’t have to talk about this.”

Hyunjin looks like he didn’t expect this side of you to exist. At least, you think, at least it got him to stop talking.

—

Learn to skate.

"If I fall, I'm taking you with me."

"You say it like I have a choice."

Hyunjin shoots you a warning glare even though you can't see. His choppy skidding steps supported by the vice grip he has on your arms. You haven't skated since you were in highschool. But when you're pretty good at it still, the smooth blade of your beaten skates gliding through ice with much dexterity, it's like floating, freeing, the wind hitting your faces, snow catching in your lashes. It's peaceful, you try not to think about the warmth of Hyunjin's arm circling around body, the vague rhythm of his heartbeat against your back. His laboured breaths on your neck. It's torturous. But spending so much time with him has taught you to hide your feelings better.

The park welcomes a large crowd around holiday season, children with toothless grins, tugging onto their mum's coats, small chin resting onto a parents' head, teenagers moving in together in school uniforms. It's the happiest time of the year. When you move past an elderly couple, they smile and tell you make a wonderful couple.

You're just about to make a correction. This puts you in an awkward position... doesn't it?

But then Hyunjin grins toothily and says, Thank you, like it's the most amusing thing in the world. You ignore the wrenching inside your chest.

Hyunjin leans forward, his plump lips brushing against your ear. "Where did you learn to skate so well?!" There's something like excitement in his kiddish laugh aside from admiration. It's not much of a question as it is an exclamation.

"I am pretty good, aren't I?"

He laughs, doesn't let you go. "Yes, yes...really good."

Out of breath, you slow down, move your feet steadily, careful not to lose balance.

"Oh my God! It is you!"

You raise your head, blink against flakes hindering your vision. Jeongin's voice used to be thinner before. As far as you remember. Now it has a weight to it.

You let out a nervous laugh.

"And it's you..."

Jeongin's eyes travel to the arms around your waist, to the stiffened figure behind you and you immediately liberate yourself. Moving to let Hyunjin use your arm as purchase, you don't fail to notice the pinch in his forehead, a frown on his mouth.

"This is my friend Hyunjin. Hyunjin, this is Jeongin—"

"We used to go out." Jeongin smiles, forwarding his hand, which is returned with an unenthused shake and a demure reply. Hyunjin never speaks to anyone this way, not even people he claims to hate.

The former male looks to you again, "I was, uh... wondering if you'd like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime."

Things between you and him ended amicably at the event of his departure for further studies, which deprives you of awkward tension which is expected when exes meet.

Besides, a cup of coffee never hurt anyone.

Right?

Without thinking, you nod slowly, "Yeah that sounds good,"

"Text me anytime."

"Sure."

“I'll be out of your hair then," he beams. "It was very nice meeting you too, Hyunjin."

"Right."

Hyunjin, you realise, has released your arm. He leans on barricades fencing along the skating area, smiling briefly. You know it’s wrong...yet you sense that you almost need him to be upset.

Then he tilts his head back towards you, "He seems like a really nice guy," he whispers, genuinely meaning every word. Your heart sinks. "I see the appeal." Underneath the lurid glare of fairy lights brandished overhead, Hyunjin's ash hair glints like it's threaded out of silver. You wonder what he's thinking.

—

Watch every Disney movie ever made.

You never end up texting Jeongin back. Just stalling for when you're ready, you tell yourself. Even though that's not true at all.

"This brings back so many memories. My parents used to belt out A Whole New World with me, like every time we watched Aladdin."

Hyunjin wipes his face with the back of his hand, technically you’re not very sure what he’s saying exactly because he’s mumbling into a paper napkin you've passed over for the umpteenth time. You find yourself picturing a small but happy family of three, of Hyunjin in Scooby Doo pajamas and gap between his teeth. (Contrary to your previous convictions, he hasn't changed all at much, save for the teeth bit. ) It's cute.

He looks to you expectantly. Can't be the only one telling embarrassing stories.

You shrug, "I had a thing for Simba. Let's just say my mum and dad were nice enough to indulge me."

Hyunjin reaches for the remote and pauses the ending credits of Lady and the Tramp. He turns to you fully now, gives you a judgemental stare. "Simba...?" He says, "Like the...lion?"

"What? It's normal to crush on fictional characters, okay?!"

"Okay,sure," Hyunjin snorts, putting a pillow between you and him so you can't kill him. "furry."

A part of you is tempted, obviously. But the much bigger part is more invested in how he looks happier, healthier. You want to think that means something.

—

Hyunjin invites you over for movie night. It's getting colder and you keep poking him with your cold feet. There's an extra set of blankets in his cupboard, he informs you, he isn't sharing his with you — and that's when you see it.

The deflated pink donut folded to the side, his and yours sharpie inscribed initials on one side.

"Found it yet?"

You don't even notice when he comes to stand behind you. So the question effectively makes you jump out of your skin. Hyunjin has a bowl of popcorn pressed to his chest, there's a pink hair band holding his hair away from his forehead. For the lack of a answer he takes it on himself to find the source of your silence. As if you've been caught red handed.

You think this is where he'll ask you to leave, that or he'll least scold you or something. You prepare for the worst.

Hyunjin just smiles, it's a big smile that succeeds in bringing out the small dimple indented on the side of his cheek. You've never noticed before. It's kinda weird. Because when it comes to him, your attention hardly ever falters.

"You probably don't remember. That’s from Seungmin's 15th birthday,"

You want to scoff under your breath. All this time you had told yourself that you were the only one to be affected by your estranged friendship growing up. Now...the same logic colours you every bit of ridiculous.

You blink away, swallowing. Voice solemn.

"I remember." Hyunjin's gaze is heavy on your shoulders. An emotion you can't quite put a finger on crosses his delicate features. It's something between surprise and relief... something else too. You don’t understand it.

—

It's disconcerting that he can’t remember the last time he got sick. Not the usual discomfort inside his chest, not the blood, not the thorns or petals. Hyunjin's just gotten so used to it, you know? What if he gets his hopes up for no good reason? What if it just comes back?

There's no possible explanation, he explains over a hasty 3 A.M message he had to leave on your answering machine because he's freaking out.

Then Haseul texts Hyunjin, tells him she misses him. Everything's adding up. Everything's falling into place. This is what he wanted, isn't it? She loves him, she finally loves him back. That must be it. He doesn't know what to say.

But he tells you, and when he does, it sounds a lot like an apology.

—

Kiss underneath a mistletoe.

“Chan and I broke up.” She says it like it’s something he should be happy about. So when he remains quiet, it only prompts her to speak more, fill up the big mighty silences.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Look Jinnie, I know I made a mistake, but...can’t you give a second chance? Just this once?”

Hyunjin has thought about this particular moment a lot. Kissing her instead of producing a response, pulling her off of her feet and mumbling of course, of course, of course. Back then, there were little doubts in his head pertaining to her, back then he believed that she was the only one for him. The love of his life at the wrong time, in the wrong place.

Now...something doesn’t feel right.

The thing about wounds, sometimes, of the heart in particular, is when they close up, it’s hard to make head or tails of the kind of person you become in their wake. Hard to adjust. Like when he suddenly shot up 7 inches in ninth grade, a late bloomer at that, and the weight of his new sneakers felt..odd.

He glances at her and also understands what it’s like to be lonely, the constant need to compensate for it by grasping at the last straw. He used to be in her shoes too. This isn’t any different. Albeit, he isn’t exactly taken by her presence. Just that he doesn’t know if what he’s doing is right. He looks over your table a few feet away from where he’s standing. Having gone out to take a call. You notice his absence and then from your seat, do your best to locate him. (he thinks of kissing you on a bed of snow, thinks of the sizzle of your skates against ice, thinks of his list on a coffee cup and his pink water donut and it’s okay to be scared. Why did it have to be you of all people, through everything? It’s not really a work of coincidence. Not at all actually.

Maybe he just wanted it to be you.)

When your eyes do lock...seeing him with his hands in his pockets, her standing beyond the barrier as she tries to say something, you smile, even if it’s a little sad. Hyunjin thinks to the conversation some nights before. Thinks of you reminding him that there's nothing to lose at this point, that he should do what his heart tells him. That it’ll be alright, if he just takes a leap of faith. Hyunjin smiles back. Through the glassy exterior and mini water fountains running down its slanted form. The realisation is not as dramatic as he thought. It’s just late.

He tears off the false mistletoe decoration glued along the periphery of an arch.

And like always.

He takes your advice.

—

Cohorts of guests pour into the colossal hotel, heads turning in quiet admiration for bejeweled arches breaking out against buttery white architecture, the roof is impossibly naked, translucent glass baring a starlit sky to your watchful eyes. Showing little mercy to a frail chute held over your head,costumed characters wade through oceans of gossamer, twinkling silver and swaying movements to slow jazz. You prop a heeled foot up on the bar platform, which strangely resembles a pedestal, in a futile attempt to catch your breath, with clammy digits settled atop the risky surface of a marbled counter. A soft voice speaks over the ambience, uttering your name with much care. You lift your head. And there he is.

Jisung is scouring through the Spotify playlist you’ve put together for New Year’s Eve. He’s complaining about the lack of Beyoncé while your friends go around the buffet table. When he calls you, you’re sipping your drink, laughing at something Changbin is saying, his eyes brighten just at the sound of your laugh. Hyunjin isn’t surprised to see his friend taking a liking of you even though he hardly knows you. That’s just the effect you have on people.

Excusing yourself, you allow him to walk you to a less densely populated area where a stone pillar faces expensive paintings of nameless painters. With the effect of alcohol settling in and your inhibitions effectively lowered, your steps sway a little. You lean against the massive build rising from tiled floor. “So what’s up?” you murmur, the lump in your throat thickening just at the thought of him speaking the good news into existence. “I take it went well?”

Hyunjin doesn't answer. He looks distracted for a bit. Then in an instant he snaps out of his daze. “What did you mean when you said ‘once’?”

Your brows come together in inquiry.

“What?”

"When I asked you if you have ever been in love, you said ‘once’." He persists, his fingers come up to your shoulder, grazing slightly as if they’re trying to carve out words against the skin. "You weren’t talking about Jeongin.”

He knows. He’s always known. Hyunjin can’t believe he’s been so stupid.

“Took you long enough.” You let out a sardonic laugh.“Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it?”

"It matters to me..." Hyunjin sounds offended, you gather, but he manages to quell his temper for the sake of coaxing your confession. Is he purposely embarrassing you? "I don’t think...I love Haseul anymore...I didn’t realise...I haven’t for a long time."

A big chandelier beams over withering plants pushed against the ceiling, in this poor supply of light, you can tell exactly how he looks, eyes glimmering adoringly, you've spent something-teen years of your life wondering what it's supposed to mean. And it still manages to confuse you.

"Why are you telling me this?" you ask, albeit you already know. Because funnily enough, before he got his braces removed and dyed his hair a scandalous blonde, before bucket lists and heartbreak, he was just the boy who told you he liked your stupid reindeer sweater even though it had officially made you the 7th grade laughing stock. You remember being fifteen and in love with Hyunjin. And you've never actually stopped. You need to hear it to believe it.

It drives you crazy. The way Hyunjin brushes his fingers against your cheek, shifting strands away from your eyes. But you can't help it, you've always wanted this. You lean into the caress, peering up at him as his large hand cups your jaw, thumb traversing from your tilted chin to your glossy lips like he's trying to smooth out all the creases. His voice is small, a whisper.

"Because I need you to know I think I’m falling in love with you.” he says. His palm opens and there’s a plastic mistletoe nestled between his fingers. You’re smiling and sniffling whilst his forehead comes to press against yours. Hyunjin grins. “And there’s still one last item on my list.”

“Are you seriously asking me to land one on you now?”

“Oh hell yeah.”

—

"Move."

You press your fingers against the slick, sweaty skin.

In rebuttal, Hyunjin grumbles under his breath. Only half awake, half aware that he was mumbling in his sleep. His naked chest seems to be, if it’s even possible, glued to your bare front as he sprawls out like a starfish over your body, using his gangly arms to accommodate the strange position.

Though and you know he knows it too — it’s anything but uncomfortable.

See by now, you aren't exactly a stranger to Hyunjin's sleeping habits. Or really, any habits of his.

All the windows are cracked open, moonlight percolating through a thin sheet of curtains in rendering evidence that it’s still night time. You can make out the faint sound of honking in the distance, a few stray dogs here and there, probably producing strings of complaints about the blatantly unbearable heat.

The strong stench of sweat and an aftermath of what happened before is a quick reminder of where you are, what you’re doing and that your arm’s going cold for a lack of circulation under his weight. Beads of sweat collected against his skin and trickle down the side of your face, the crook of your neck, which only prompts you to apply more force to the pads of your index and pointer — albeit it did nothing to move him, "Gross." You groan. "You're sweating like a pig!"

This comment, of all the things you've tried to get him to sleep on his side, succeeds in making Hyunjin raise his head, his grey hair matted down, a few rogue strands pushed out to fall over the unamused look in his eyes.

In an unprecedented minute of absolute clarity, something inside your stomach started to churn at the shocking sight. You’re impossibly, absolutely and nauseatingly in love with Hwang Hyunjin and the funny thing is, you don’t have to think twice to know he is too.

"Gross?" Hyunjin lowers his face to brush his pouted lips along your jaw, grinning when you let out a shaky but involuntary breath and as if he is looking to make a point with his digits traversing from your bare stomach, just along the hem of your underwear, "After all that?"

"I hate you." You say — but more like, stutter. The sound of his giggles eliciting a strange sensation in you, reverberating against your chest, knocking against his ribs and your skin, like it’s trying to reach out to you, like your bodies insist on melding into one.

"I don’t think you’re being honest, baby." He laughs, squeezing your side, coming up to plant a warm palm to your butt to repeat the action, which in turn, drew a mewl from you. “Because you looove me.” Hyunjin smirks, his finger thumbing along your throat to your chin. You think this is what all those great poets meant in endless litanies of lovers torn apart by time and war woven together in a simple caress, like a longing, like a secret. Guarded from prying eyes, greedy hands, and you keep it, you keep it. For him. With him.

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thebadgerclan · 4 years

Text

Harry Potter Masterlist 2

FIRST MASTERLIST HERE

** indicates smut

Harry Potter x reader

Self-Critical- After a raid goes wrong, Harry finds solace in your arms and the bath...

Better**- Your plans got rained out, but you don’t mind...

Better Than Treacle**- Better than treacle, now that’s saying something...

Safe Now- When he’s with you, he knows he’s safe...

Secrecy- It has to stay between you, it just does...

On The Line- Harry won’t risk your life...

Wrong Order- Harry doesn’t regret last night at all...

Caught- Sex in your parents’ house isn’t a good idea...

Just Be Yourself- Harry gets some relationship advice from his godfather...

Under The Stars- A warm summer night under the stars...

My Baby- Sometimes, Harry needs to hear how much you love him...

In Time- It doesn’t feel real yet, but it will, in time...

Just Another Teenager- Harry’s just another teenager...

Pretty Damn Cool- Harry teaches you to cast a Patronus...

Hermione Granger x reader

SFW Alphabet

NSFW Alphabet**

Fred Weasley x reader

A Little Bit Of Fun**- Fred decided to have a little fun with you today...

Perfect**- There are so many words to describe your boyfriend...

Sweet- Complementary desserts and diamond rings...

George Weasley x reader

For Years- He’s waited for 2 years, he’ll love you for so many more...

Pay Attention- George can’t seem to pay attention at Order meetings...

SFW Alphabet

NSFW Alphabet**

Flying- You conquer your fear of flying...

Cat and Mouse- George thinks your costume is positively adorable...

Charlie Weasley x reader

Being Married To Charlie HCs

Charlie As A Dad HCs

Domestic Life w/ Charlie HCs

Dating Charlie HCs

Bill Weasley x reader

Being Married To Bill HCs

Smut HCs**

Yet**- You haven’t gone that far yet, but tonight, you will...

Oliver Wood x reader

Mo Leannan- Oliver’s training sessions run late...

The Alchemist- He’s not the best with words, but he’ll tell you how much he loves you every day...

Not A Beater- Oliver isn’t a beater, that’s for damn sure...

Not As Beautiful As You- Oliver takes you to a beautiful waterfall, but it’s not the most beautiful thing there...

Busy Week- You’ve both been so busy and you miss your boyfriend...

Victory**- You help Oliver celebrate after winning the Quidditch Cup...

Tom Riddle x reader

The Only Exception- Tom doesn’t care that you’re muggle born

The Dark Lord and His Dark Lady- While he sometimes doubts, you are his and he is yours...

Anniversary- Yours and Tom’s third anniversary...

Draco Malfoy x reader

A Different Side- Draco can let his walls down around you...

The Price Of Being A Malfoy- You’re everything his family isn’t...

Lucius Malfoy x reader

Real Love- Lucius truly loves you...

Regardless- Lucius doesn’t care what anyone else thinks...

No One Better- He thinks that after all he’s done, you deserve better...

Work Of Art- Your art is the most beautiful he’s ever seen...

Satisfied**- Lucius’ cock always leaves you satisfied...

Whenever You’re Ready- Lucius adores you in every single way, but he’ll wait until you’re ready...

Being Insecure About Small Breasts w/ Lucius**

Heal Your Broken Heart- Your heart’s been broken, but Lucius wants to fix it...

Sex w/ Lucius HCs**

Day Off**- Lucius takes a day off, and spend it teasing you...

Never Felt Like This- Lucius has never felt like this about anyone...

All Yours- Lucius gets jealous, even though you’re all his...

Star- Lucius never realized how famous you are...

I Am Yours- You’re disheartened when you find out that Lucius has mistresses, but he is yours and yours alone...

SFW Alphabet

Watch Yourself**- When you’re feeling down, Lucius shows you just how perfect you are...

NSFW Alphabet**

Lucius w/ a Virgin Reader HCs**

Lucius Comforting a Sad Reader HCs

Jealous/Possessive Lucius HCs

Ruined News- His actions ruined your good news, not that he’d care at this point...

Kissing HCs

Lunch Break**- You visit Lucius on his lunch break...

Oral HCs**

Pretty Girl**- You like it when Lucius tells you how well you’re doing...

All Of You**- You’re ready to give Lucius all of you...

So Good**- His teasings fell so good, but you need more...

Body Worship HCs**

Lucius As A Soft Dom HCs**

Collar- Picking out your first collar...

Rules**- You broke a rule...

Newt Scamander x reader

Second Niffler- Newt and Phil see your form for the first time...

Never Felt Happier- Newt has never been happier than he is right now...

Sham- Newt will remind as many times as he has to: you are not a sham...

Always Protect You- Newt won’t let anyone or anything hurt you...

Not Always Innocent- Newt always assumes they’re innocent...

A Few Drinks- After a few drinks, Newt has to remind you that you’re together...

Still Like You More- Newt is afraid to take you into the case...

A Fire Burning In My Heart- You feel exactly what the lyrics say...

Trying To Tell You- All week, you’ve tried to tell him...

Racing Hearts- You make his heart race, and he makes yours race...

His Shirt**- Newt can’t resist you, seeing you in his shirt...

That Time Of The Month-Newt takes care of you during your period...

Take Care Of My Baby**- When Newt wakes up hard, you take care of him...

Pretty Kitty- Animagi take on traits of their forms, but Newt doesn’t know about yours...

Lonely- Newt’s been working constantly on his book...

Lost Niffler- A lost niffler leads to a new relationship...

Jealous of the Niffler- He knows it’s silly, but he’s still jealous...

Cedric Diggory x reader

I Know I’m In Love- Cedric had an amazing afternoon...

Make A Move- He knows how you feel, but he’s waiting for you to make the first move...

Back To Her- He was so scared he wouldn’t come back to you...

A Bit Nervous- Cedric’s a bit nervous to ask you to the Yule Ball...

Spicing Things Up**- It might not have been a very productive conversation, but you’ve certainly spiced things up...

Life After- You both dream of a life after the war...

Broom Cupboard- The Head Boy and Girl caught snogging...

NSFW Alphabet**

SFW Alphabet

Here (TW: ABUSE MENTIONS)- Your brother shows up at Hogwarts...

The Golden Boy’s First**- Cedric’s first time...

Neville Longbottom x reader

December Afternoons- A picnic in the snow...

Spin The Bottle- Fred and George introduce a muggle party game...

Soul Marks and Nifflers- He was afraid he’d never find you...

SFW Alphabet

NSFW Alphabet**

Staying In**- The two of you stay in today...

Lily Evans x reader

New Record**- You’ve never done 5 before...

Chilled- Quidditch in the cold...

Oral HCs**

Braids and Patroni- Lily braids your hair while you work on your homework...

Burnt**- You get a bit distracted while Lily’s baking...

Broken Hearts and Friendships- You won’t put her through that stress anymore...

SFW Alphabet

NSFW Alphabet**

James Potter x reader

Dating James HCs

Best/Worst Things About James HCs

Serious James HCs

Domestic Life w/ James HCs

Oral HCs**

Sirius Black x reader

The Man I Fell In Love With**- He’s changed, but he’s still the man you fell in love with...

Got It Bad- Though Gryffindor lost, Sirius is extraordinarily happy...

Home Safe- They both come home that night...

Her First Match- You wouldn’t miss this match for the world

Handsome- You see Sirius shirtless...

Distracted- Your thoughts are anywhere but the meeting...

Part 2: Puppy**- Sirius knows how to please you...

Oral HCs**

Want Him**- He wants you and you want him...

First Christmas After- His first Christmas as a free man...

Take Care Of You**- Sirius needs you to take care of him...

Jealous/Possessive HCs

Blankets- The heat’s out, but you don’t mind...

Sentenced- Halloween night in Godric’s Hollow...

Starlight- Sometimes, Sirius can’t believe he’s really home...

Padfoot’s Lament- Now he’s free, but you are gone...

A Nap, Interrupted**- Sirius interrupts your nap, but you’re not upset...

My Idiot- Sirius thought it was a good idea to climb the Whomping Willow

Our House, Our Home- Your house doesn’t smell like home, which distresses your Omega...

Picking Out Your Baby’s Name w/ Sirius

Sirius Black Reacting To You Telling Him “I Don’t Date People Prettier Than Me”

Convince Me- He’ll spend the rest of his life convincing you he’s not a player if that’s what you want...

My Good Puppy**- Sirius’ behavior has earned him a reward...

All I Need- You don’t need dates or fancy dinners...

Seconds Away- Death was seconds away from both of you...

Face**- Sirius wants you to sit on his face...

1,095 Days- Three years, and this is how you’re repaid...

SFW Alphabet

A Hero’s Death- Sirius finds out what really happened to Regulus...

Return The Favor**- Sirius’ stamina is a bit low, but you don’t mind...

Can’t Hurt You Here- He doesn’t quite believe it yet, but nothing can hurt him here...

Different Scent- Sirius comes home, but your scent is different...

The Art of Distraction- Sirius is infinitely skilled in the art of distraction...

Hellscape- These raids are dangerous...

Brother’s Best Friend- Dating your brother’s best friend, what could go wrong?

Out In The Open- It’s all out in the open now...

Enjoy The View- You get a glimpse of your man fresh out of the shower...

Failed Exam- He’ll always be there to make you feel better...

Remus Lupin x reader

Rough and Hard**- As it turns out, Remus isn’t always so tender...

Hurt (platonic)- When you’re hurt on a mission, Sirius jumps to a conclusion...

Vacation**- A week of relaxation...

Dating Remus HCs

Creatures Of The Night- You’ve known since you met...

Best/Worst Things About Remus HCs

Moony’s Needs**- Moony needs you...

Part 2: Pack- You’re part of his pack...

Domestic Life/ Kids w/ Remus HCs

Being Insecure About Small Breasts w/ Remus

Confident, Lycanthropy Accepting Remus HCs

Dating Remus Since 4ht Year & Being Couple Goals HCs

Oral HCs**

The Rest Of Your Life- Graduation’s almost here...

Getting Eaten Out From Behind HCs**

Mornings w/ Kids HCs

Tomorrow Isn’t Promised**- Tomorrow isn’t promised, but right now, you can push those thoughts aside...

Spanking In The Dorms/Prefect’s Bathroom HCs**

Sex At Hogwarts HCs**

Recuperation-Like every month, you care for your lover after the full...

My Forever- You’re his forever, he knows that for certain...

Honeymoon HCs

The Marauders Coming To Visit Your New Baby HCs

Her Big Bad Wolf- The annual Gryffindor Halloween Party...

The Healer’s Day Off- Every month, you take time off to care for you love...

Scents- Your scent changed, and Moony isn’t quite sure why...

Grind**- Remus finds you when you don’t show up for dinner...

The Forest- A trip into the forest gone wrong...

Mine Alone**- He’ll let him watch, but you’re his and his alone...

Pink- It happened with no words...

Nicknames- Remus discovers your new favorite nickname...

Panda In The Forest- This bear definitely doesn’t belong here, but Moony knows who it is...

Vulnerable**-Sometimes, Remus can let himself be vulnerable...

Transformation- Remus is suspicious of how much time you’re spending with Sirius...

Everything To Me- Remus’ insecurities get to him, but you remind him that he is everything to you...

After The Battle- Remus comes to you after the battle...

Your Kiss- The first kiss of many...

Provide For You- You have more than enough money to provide for him...

NSFW Alphabet**

Beautiful Body- After someone comments on your body, Remus helps you feel better...

SFW Alphabet

Months- Remus has liked you for months, but he’s shy...

Professor Lupin’s “Assistant”**- An evening spent between Professor Lupin and his “assistant”...

What You Want To Call Me**- Remus isn’t what you want to call him...

More Pregnant**- Remus know he can’t get you more pregnant, but at the moment, he doesn’t care...

Safe and Loved- After the full moon, Remus needs to feel protected...

Perfect Evening- Your dress might be ruined, but your evening is not...

Dangerous- Even something as simple as going to the store is dangerous now...

His Alpha’s Arms- Remus is overjoyed to be back in his Alpha’s arms...

Battle Scars- His scars are marks of strength...

Interrupted- Yours and Remus’ make out is interrupted...

Trading Jabs- It’s all in good fun...

Quiet Down- The office isn’t warded...

Severus Snape x reader

The Two Of Us- It’s been so long since you’ve had time together...

First Place- He knew you could do it...

Full Marks**- You’ll do anything to raise your grade...

So In Love With You- The rest of your lives is ahead of you...

Lioness- Severus didn’t want to go to the party, but you still find a way to help him enjoy himself...

After Everything- He deserves more than you can give, but you’re his nonetheless...

One Little Thing- Arguments happen, but it still hurts...

It Was You- You’ll always defend him, even in the past...

Good Boy**- Severus is many things, but above all, he is yours in many ways...

Cheetah and Bat- Seeing your Animagus inspires Severus to give it another try...

The Perfect Day- Any day is a perfect day when he’s with you...

Be Still**- Severus needs to grade these exams, but you’re both wanting each other...

Nerves**- While you’re both nervous, you both want this...

Different- Even though you just met, you can tell he’s different...

Ink- Severus never took you for the type to have tattoos...

Years Of Yearning- Severus is able to live through a book, years of yearning being somewhat satisfied...

Mistletoe**- Christmas break is finally here...

I Can’t Lose You- The world is dangerous, and he can’t lose you...

Hard- Severus helps you to relax when the world becomes a bit too much...

The Perfect Day- You plan a day out for your lover...

Sweet Affections- Severus loved being in your arms...

The Mark- He has to tell you...

Not Your Fault- He blames himself...

Figure It Out- After Dumbledore fell...

Midnight Patrols-You can’t sleep when he’s not here..

Mistake- The messenger of the prophecy...

Better Off- If this is how you’ll act, he’s better off without you..

Part 2: His Fragile Heart- He was wrong, and he wants you back

Fantasize**- Severus sees your classtime fantasies...

Severus Getting Married To An American Reader So He Can Vote Against Tr*mp HCs

A Life Without You (TW: SUICIDE)- He can’t live without you...

Those Three Little Words- You love each other more than anything, but you seldom say those three little words...

Being Insecure About Small Breasts w/ Severus

Good Grades**- Good grades pay off...

Coming Clean- At your graduation, secrets are revealed

Sex w/ Severus HCs**

Dating Severus and Being A Professor HCs

Kissing HCs

Oral HCs**

Happy Birthday, My Love- The morning of his birthday...

Not All That Bad- Severus shows you that Slytherin isn’t all that bad...

Pick You-You watch The Bachelor with Severus...

Deep Inside**- Severus won’t let you come until he’s deep inside you...

After Everything- After everything he’s done, you still want to be his, forever...

Jealous/Possessive HCs

They Won’t Know**- Severus wants you, and he doesn’t care who sees...

Severus With A Virgin Reader HCs**

The Best Addiction- You’re addicted to him, as he is to you...

See Your Worth- When you’re feeling inadequate, Severus shows you how much he loves you...

Only You- A night spent with your love...

Few Weaknesses- You discover one of Severus’ few weaknesses...

Protective HCs

Hold On For Me- In that moment, it was the only option...

The Most Beautiful Sound- The students mock your accent, but Severus adores it...

Feel The Same- Severus doesn’t want to ruin your friendship...

Never Hurt You (TW: PAST ABUSE)- You know he’ll never hurt you...

Wake Up Call**- You enjoy waking Severus up, between his legs, that is...

Prima Donna- Severus helps you relax after weeks of rehearsals...

The Great White Way- Severus’s jealousy flares seeing you on stage with another man...

Where You Go, I Go (TW: SUICIDE)- You’ll follow wherever he goes...

Beautiful, Gorgeous, Perfect- Severus knows that you feel insecure sometimes, and he knows how to make you feel better...

What Better Wat To Wake Up?**- Severus wakes you up in a very pleasant way...

New Toys**- Severus brings home some new toys...

Only Yours**- Severus makes sure you know you’re his...

Like This**- Severus wants you just like this...

The Letter- You never planned to send it...

Giving and Receiving**- Tonight, you’re both giving and receiving...

Craving Affection-You’re craving Severus’ affection, and he’s more than happy to give it to you...

Obscenely Affectionate**- Valentine’s Day, an excuse to be obscenely affectionate, an excuse which Severus willingly takes...

Your Grace**- Severus teaches you the wonders of the marriage bed...

Hufflepuff At Heart- You may not be a witch, but Severus knows you’re a badger

Restless- You’re on a mission for the Order, and Severus is worried...

Severus Comforting A Sad Reader HCs

Nothing Like Him- Part of him can’t believe you want to have kids with him...

Beauty In Everything- You find beauty in everything, even in things others don’t find beautiful...

Domestic Life w/ Sev HCs

New Style- You braid Severus’ hair...

Not A Dream- Though it feels like a dream, you assure him it isn’t...

Shooting Stars- Everyone wishes on shooting stars, but you already have everything you want...

Smile- It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, Severus will do anything to see you smile...

You’re Mine**- When Severus’ assistant gets a little too friendly, you remind your husband who he belongs to...

An Amazing Father- Severus is afraid of fatherhood, but you know you’ll be alright...

Pretty Little Prefect**- The monthly prefect’s meeting...

Such A Good Job**- You’ve done such a good job pleasuring yourself, Severus wants you to finish it...

Bath Bombs- Severus puts his own touch on muggle bath bombs...

Captivity- His worst nightmare was coming true...

No More- It was just too much...

Nesting- Your heat’s a few days away...

Keep No Secrets- Severus knows he has to tell you, but he’s terrified...

Lots of Practice- Severus has never kissed anyone before...

Happy Anniversary- Your second wedding anniversary with Severus...

Keep You Safe-You know Severus will keep you safe, especially from other Alphas...

Need To See Him- You need to see him, to make sure he’s alright...

All Mine**- When Lucius gets a little too friendly, Severus reminds you that you’re all his...

Be On Top**- Severus wants you to be on top for the first time...

Missed You**- After nearly a week in London, you return home...

Perfectly Fine- Severus takes care of you after a prank gone wrong, and feelings are revealed...

A Galaxy Far, Far Away- You introduce Severus to Star Wars...

Need You Here- After a nightmare, you need your husband by your side...

Long Weekend**- While you don’t make it to most of your plans, you and Severus still enjoy yourselves...

A Little Risky**-You and Severus have some fun at the Order meeting...

Snowball Fight-A snowball fight with your husband...

Finally Home- Your fiance returns home after a month and a half...

Unbothered**- Severus’ isn’t bothered by your period, he still wants to taste you...

NSFW Alphabet**

SFW Alphabet

My Perfect, Beautiful Man**- You give Severus some much needed praise and attention...

Never Cheat On You- Severus thinks you’re cheating, but he couldn’t be farther from the truth...

Slow, Tender, and Sensual**- Your first time with Severus is everything you wanted: slow, tender, and sensual...

The Only Woman I’ll Ever Love- Severus didn’t listen to her, you’re the only women he’ll ever love...

My Princess- For your birthday, Severus treats you like the princess you are...

Spare A Dance For Me- You help Severus teach the Slytherins to dance...

Validation**- Severus craves validation, and you’re more than willing to give it...

Hands**- You watch Severus while he brews. Well, you watch his hands...

Sweet Spot**- Severus’ sweet spot makes him feel so good...

Grateful- One year after the battle...

Your Heart Is A Treasure- Severus won’t treat you like they did...

The Matron’s Assistant- You return to Hogwarts, and find more than just work...

Make A Bad Day Better- You always make bad days better...

Always Yours- It doesn’t matter what anyone says or does, you’re always his...

Throne**- Severus makes you feel like a queen, especially in bed...

Discipline- You’ve always been light on discipline with your daughter...

Don’t Give A Damn- You don’t give a damn that Severus is younger than you, but he’s still insecure...

Precipice**- Severus decides to play a little game with you...

Not A Prank- He’s convinced it’s a prank by the Marauders...

Caught- The twins catch you and Severus in an intimate moment...

Nocturnal Conversations- Severus converses with you while you sleep-talk...

The Right Time- It just felt like the right time to ask...

With You- He never thought you could be happy with him...

Eyes On Me**- You want him to look at you when he comes...

My Vow To You- His vow to you trumps all others...

Show You How**- Severus teaches you how to suck his cock...

Bare Face- Severus sees you for the first time without makeup...

Let It Out- After someone shouts at you, Severus makes you feel better...

Denied**- Severus is needy, but you’re busy...

Perfectly Valid- Severus loves you just as you are...

The Bigger Man- He needs to be the bigger man with Lupin...

Every Inch**- Severus wants to kiss every inch of you...

Every Part- You love every part of him, even the parts he doesn’t...

Get Away- A vacation with your family...

Still New- Your relationship is still so new, you can’t help but be a little flustered...

Entirely Real- You can’t believe that this is really happening...

Cared For- After the full moon, you just need to be cared for...

Little Tease**- Your choice of attire gets Severus a little riled up...

Argument/Making Up HCs

Severus as a Soft Dom HCs**

Too Good**- He just couldn’t hold back...

His Turn- You’ve cared for him, now it’s his turn to care for you...

Twice the Fun**- Severus’ new potion gives twice the fun...

Tail-End**- It might be the tail-end of your heat, but you’re still needing him...

Overwhelmed (platonic)- When things feel overwhelming, help comes from an unlikely person...

My Misstress’ Eyes Are Nothing Like The Sun- When Severus is assigned midnight patrol, you can’t sleep...

Have You Right Here- Your Alpha always knows how to make you feel better...

Severus Snape x reader x Remus Lupin

Now**- After your lovers tease you, you need them now

Punishments and Pleasure**- While the evening began in a punishment, it ended with immense pleasure...

Filled**- A morning in the library..

Waited For You**- You’ve been gone for two days, but your lovers waited for you...

Forgot The Charm**- The three of you seemed to have forgotten the silencing charm...

Remus Lupin x reader x Sirius Black

He’s Home- He’s home, and he needs you...

Life w/ Kids HCs

Happy Birthday- Remus and Sirius treat you on your birthday...

Their Job- They’re your alphas, it’s their job to take care of you...

Help You Feel Good**- Your lovers show you how to use your new toy...

His Beautiful Loves**- Remus loves to watch, but he also loves to join in...

Cuddles- You join your lovers on the couch...

How Do You Want Us?**- Remus fucks you while you fuck Sirius...

SFW Alphabet

Noisy Little Thing**- You need to be quiet, lest the whole Order hear...

Broken Collar- It was an accident, but you’re still very upset about it...

Severus Snape x reader x Lucius Malfoy

Impersonations- It’s all in good fun...

More Than Desperate**- After your lovers tease you all day, you’re more than desperate for them...

Insatiable**- You can’t get enough...

Needy**- Your period makes you horny, and your men certainly aren’t complaining...

Good Beta**- Your Beta takes care of you until your Alpha comes home...

Tonight**- Tonight, they will have them, and they will have you...

Full**- Both your men fill you up...

Feeling Needy**- Severus is feeling needy today...

Snuggles- After a long day, the three of you want to be close...

Fuck Waiting**- They can’t wait anymore, you look too sexy...

Overworked- When school take its toll, your lovers are there...

James Potter x reader x Remus Lupin

Sensual**- Slow, sweet, and sensual...

New Heights**- James and Remus take your pleasure to new heights...

Being Married To, Honeymoon, Sex w/, Twins w/ Remus and James HCs

Wedding HCs

A Future With Them- You can’t wait for the future

Yourself**- They want you to make yourself come...

Good Together**- Remus thinks you two look so good together...

Scars**- You show Remus just how perfect he is...

What Their Home Is Like HCs

Remus and James As Parents HCs

Cedric Diggory x reader x Harry Potter

Dating Cedric and Harry HCs

Cedric Diggory x reader x Hermione Granger

Domestic Life HCs

Sex HCs**

James Potter x reader x Lily Evans

First Heat**- Your first heat...

Harry Potter x Severus Snape

Through It All- Harry has been there through it all...

Paradise- Harry takes his husband away for a week...

Good Boy**- Severus loves being Harry’s good boy...

Slipped His Mind**- Severus forgets something important...

Unwavering- Harry’s support and love for his husband is unwavering...

My Perfect Boy**- When Severus is feeling insecure, his Daddy helps him see...

Much Better**- After a bad day, Harry helps Severus feel better...

James Potter x Lily Evans

James and Lily As Friends HCs

Everyone Can See- Everyone can see they’re falling for each other...

Sirius Black x Lily Evans

Sirius x Lily HCs

Other

Marauders x an Ilvermorny Transfer HCs

#the badger clan masterlist #half blood princess masterlist #masterlist

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mggpleasedontlookhere · 3 years

Text

checkmate

summary: where y/n and spencer live in a world of soulmates; but how magical can it really be when the last words of your lover are the only indication of their existence.

word count: 7,054 reading time aprox: 26 mins

warnings: character death, angst

a/n: this is my comeback fic, I hope you like it. I made sure to make it extra angsty to compensate for my disappearance :) also this fic can be read by anyone!

masterlist

Chess is a meticulous endeavor, not only in its cold and calculated nature, but also in the player’s ability to detect insecurity flash across their opponents' eyes, the unconscious idiosyncrasies that foretell future moves, and the slow descent into hopelessness that disintegrates the former’s conviction. Most will point out the cruelty of the game, how callous it must be knowing your end eight moves before it happens. However, others will oppose this notion as it is the game; one must lose to win.

It’s all a matter of who plays their pieces right.

Before that pivotal moment, players can only maneuver through a black and white arena. Fingertips would drum in anticipation while the other would hover over their pieces, striding across the board with purpose. Regardless of the disparity between the players’ experience or skill, there is always one factor, unmoved by player attributes, that is not a disadvantage nor luxury for either party: time.

Even in the checkered plane, nothing will matter. The players will cease to move, forced to end the game by the lack of time. This mechanism in nature acts as a failsafe if either individual is unable to conclude the game. In other words, there are only two outcomes: winning the game by will or letting time take that will away from you.

However, what is not noticed is the growing ache in the winner’s chest, disappointment beginning to fester inside of them because of their loss in deciding. In that split realization, the winner is placed on an equal plane as the loser, wondering if they ever really won at all.

This middle plane is beautiful and tragic simultaneously—maybe the beauty is in the tragedy. But as my palm leaves a bloodied handprint pressed against Spencer’s chest, all I can see is the world around me turning red.

Please be okay, please be okay for me

My mouth would silently mutter in tandem with his desperate and reaching touches, a mantra I convinced myself could surpass time, all while knowing my will was seized from me the moment Spencer uttered the words imprinted at my hip.

October 27th

2 days before

Water vapor collected around the coffee mug pressed to my lips. Although it’s ironic to call it a ‘coffee’ mug considering it was filled to the brim with scalding tea. The tips of my fingers and the skin of my palms tingled at the heat given off. My thoughts drifted to the explanation of the first law of thermodynamics that Spencer had kindly explained during the walk home from the night before.

An unconscious smile brushed over my lips briefly, reminiscing the blissful moments of the team gathered around a bar table after finishing up a briefing about a local case. A warm cloud of content passed through my chest while a lightness traveled from the bottoms of my feet to the summit of my forehead. The herbal tea traveling down my esophagus countered the cold nipping of the autumn air, bringing a welcome equilibrium to my wellbeing.

I shrugged the knitted blanket over my shoulders further, staring into the calming view that the apartment window provided. Across from the building was a small, abandoned park. Most of the neighbors had steered clear of the area as it didn’t meet anyone’s aesthetic standards—well, except for mine.

Half of the trees have lost their leaves, counting down the days to winter. The park benches were covered with tangled vines, even some lacking required wood boards. In summary, the place was an overgrown jungle that no one was willing to inhabit. In result, the once communal area was condemned by the normal folk for being ‘too dead.’ However, I would oppose those who claim the lack of life in the park considering life is not only just living, but it is to invite death.

In my observation of the park, a soft reflection suddenly appeared beside the yellow oak trees. In my peripheral, I can see my roommate creeping up behind me with his limbs moving catlike. I bit my bottom lip to conceal the amused huff threatening to escape me, instead settling to blowing over the steam rising from my cup.

Just before I saw his head bobble over my shoulder, arms stretched out above me, I whipped around his lanky figure and ducked under his arm. “You know for an agent; I expected a better performance.” An inaudible yelp interrupted the fit of giggles I was in as some of the tea spilled onto my blanket. “Now look what you’ve done! Do you know how hard it is to get dark liquids off cotton?”

“Just some hydrogen peroxide will do the trick,” Spencer shrugged, insisting to pull off the semi-damp blanket off my shoulders. “Plus, you messed up my bit!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot I was living with a five-year-old,” I teased, nudging him.

Spencer craned his neck to the side, letting the sore tendons and muscles stretch out from just waking up. All without forgetting to let out an obnoxious yawn in addition to his exaggeratedly extended arms. “I’ll have you know that this five-year-old has three PhDs and three bachelors,” he boasted.

“...and daddy issues.”

Before I can find a way to defend myself, the same blanket that brought me solace previously was transformed into an unmerciful whip. Spencer chased me around the couch until I slipped and toppled over the cushions, landing on the throw pillows. I buried my head into the leather arm, shutting my eyes, while I replicated the nature of Spencer’s antics by emitting ridiculous snores.

“You can’t touch me while I’m sleeping,” I murmured, feigning my slow lull to slumber. “It’s socially unacceptable.” During my spiel, Spencer had playfully grabbed my ankles and dragged me to a sitting position.

“SPENCER!” I gasped, clutching one of the pillows in hand and smacking him over the head with it. “You do not handle people like that! No wonder why you also have momm-”

Spencer’s palm gently nudged me back onto the couch mid-sentence, leaving my frame to hit the cushions with a loud thud. A boom of laughter filled the empty space of my chest, my breath thinning as dopamine jumped from my brain’s synapses. An enchanted smile caressed the corners of my mouth mirroring the one Spencer was sporting.

In these insignificant interactions, I would think back to the times where our comfortability was limited and reveled on how much our friendship grew over the years. There was a sense of solace that overwhelmed me knowing that introducing—and working on his—humor brought an auspicious light to the darkness that often clouded his mind.

My lungs deflated with a hefty exhale, my arm slinging across my eyes in relaxation. Clamored feet and the rug shifting against the wood floor caught my attention. Freeing my line of vision, I was met with a raggedy-haired genius with barely a foot between us. I reached out to comb through his locks, the webbing of my hands catching the tangled curls. “You need to shower greasehead.”

“Actually, the buildup of sebum and laloin in the gland of the hair follicles—coined as the sebaceous gland—offers moisture and protection, given that it is regulated upon its natural equilibrium.” Spencer leaned into the soft touch of my fingers, like how a kitten purrs against their owner’s affection.

“Well, I don’t know about you almost-birthday-boy, but I don’t think you want to go into the next chapter of your life smelling like you just changed out of your first diaper.” I pushed myself up the couch, gesturing Spencer to the hallway bathroom. “This is the big 31!”

“Y/N, we had a party for my 30th. I think I’m good to last for the decade,” he huffed, walking towards his bedroom to grab a change of clothes.

“That’s not the spirit, Dr. Reid!” I yelled across the room. “I swear Spence, you’re the only person who’d turn down a party... And, you even turned down Rossi’s invitation to go all out in his backyard.”

“Another year to celebrate the ever-closing gap between my time on earth and my imminent demise—oh, and how can I forget celebrating it in an open space full of ticks and pollen,” Spencer sarcastically jested, his voice bouncing off the thin white walls.

“At least you’d know your soulmate, right? Then I wouldn’t be the only one to deal with your ‘Debby Downer’ ass,” I added on, rolling my eyes at his usual pessimistic rulings.

“I would prefer nihilistic, but if that vernacular serves you then to each their own.”

“Hey, maybe after you die, I and your soulmate can mourn over you—bond and all that—and then I can steal them away,” I teased.

I looked to the lightning bolts etched into the crevices of my thighs, my fingertips tracing each design until it fell onto the carved words at my hip. In a way, the stretch marks made beautiful vines attached to the faded letters, covering the obvious red scratch marks that had resurfaced from my bad habits.

I kissed my fingertips before planting them back onto the markings, chuckling to myself of the intimate gesture. Unconsciously, I began to rub at the tattooed words once again, hating how their protrusion made my skin crawl.

“I mean I’m dead, what can I really do?” Spencer called out, stopping in his tracks when he reached the bathroom door. He faced me as he spoke, going on about his birthday celebration tomorrow—half of his speech unheard to me—until he requested my immediate attention. “You have to stop picking at the words, Y/N. You’re going to end up hurting yourself.”

“I know, I know,” I sighed, letting my dominant hand fall to my side. A pout fell on my lips at the loss of the small satisfaction scratching granted me. “But the words are just so uncomfortable sometimes. I mean you got lucky with the whole soulmate placement.”

Spencer brought his free hand to his chest, thumb tracing over the small words typed on the skin. “Yeah, I guess I did get lucky huh.” A soft smile grazed over his lips while his eyes were still trained on the unknowing figure resting against the couch.

“What does your marking read aga-”

“Spence, what’s it say on your che-”

I groaned in playful disbelief at the coincidental timing. “You know at this point I’m starting to think we’re telepathic, Spencer.”

“That’s actually what my tattoo is,” he laughed. “It’s my name.”

“Oh yeah,” I nodded, remembering the first time we brought it up in the early days of meeting one another. “Must’ve saved a lot of name tags in elementary school” I teased.

Spencer shook his head, shuffling into the bathroom with a lightness in his steps. With the closing of the door, my gaze fell onto the marking once again.

Regardless of the mechanics of soulmates, I was never worried about the possibility of not meeting them. I was already at my happiest knowing shared moments like these were good enough. However, unbeknownst to my ideal wishes, an irking desire still lingered in the back of my head while fingers hovered over the imperfect skin.

October 28th

1 day before

“Kid, you can’t sit there and tell me that finding your soulmate can be ‘scientifically extrapolated.’ That’s not the point,” Morgan amusingly shook his head at Spencer, ruffling the top of his head as he brushed past him.

“Okay,” Spencer tutted, “tell me. What ‘is’ the point then?”

“Well, all I’m saying is that finding your soulmate—if you have one—is supposed to come supernaturally.”

“Morgan, did you just try to win over boy genius here by talking about the supernatural?” With a tilted smirk, I nursed the half-filled flute between my fingertips. My gaze flickered over to a pleased brainiac sharing the same mischievous glint found in my eyes. I let my head fall back against the couch cushions, my eyes fluttering close to the sound of grown children bickering.

“Alright,” Morgan raised his hands up in defense. “All I was pointing out was that things like these can’t be solved by numbers and science.”

“The same can be said about Newtonian physics, but look where we a-”

Morgan flung a ball of crinkled wrapping paper Spencer’s way, aiming for his head. Spencer attempted to dodge the projectile—emphasis on attempted—only to have it hit him square in the face.

“So much for those Newtonian physics, huh?” I teased while getting up to open another bottle of champagne. Spencer slouched in his chair, the paper cone hat on his head shifting to the side. A grimace replaced the smirk he initially wore, muttering about how he was going to get Morgan back.

“Y/N! Bring that bottle over here when you’re done.” Morgan called out as I walked into the kitchen, pausing the ongoing discussion of the case we planned to tackle. “Also, bring another juice box for Reid here!”

A chorus of laughter followed my ears which each step, a grin finding the corners of my lips. I rose to the tips of my toes to reach for the unopened bottle in the alcohol cabinet. I made my way to the freezer, taking out the bucket of ice I stored away hours ago. When closing the appliance door, my eyes landed on a picture magnetized to the surface.

It was a physical reminder of the time that Spencer convinced me to dress up as Amy Pond, the eleventh doctor’s sidekick, for comic con. He too was dressed up in the doctor’s attire: a brown corduroy suit, a bowtie, and a sonic screwdriver. We both had silly grins planted on our faces, it seemed like nothing could tear down the joyous bubble we were in. Upon reflecting on the memory, the kitchen door swung open revealing a merry Spencer.

“Hey, I was supposed to be getting you that juice box,” I joked.

Spencer shook his head, pushing past me to get to the cupboard. “Very funny,” he droned, sarcasm dripping off his words. I leaned against the counter, setting the bucket of ice to the side. I analyzed his movements, noticing how often he fidgeted with his fingers or how his legs would clumsily turn inward at times.

“You know,” he paused, turning around to face me, “In some countries ruled by military dictatorship, staring could be deemed as a call for execution.”

I crossed my arms, challenging him. “Well last time I checked; we aren’t in any of those countries. Is that right, Dr. Reid?”

“Unfortunately,” he chuckled. “Did you need anything?”

“No, why do you ask?”

“Well, by the way you were checking me out, I would think you needed something.” He sauntered over to the opposite counter across the kitchen, hoisting himself up on the granite. I watched as the casual smirk fell off his face after failing his initial attempt to sit. The second attempt proved to be better, although that didn’t stop me from rolling my eyes at his impotence.

“You know,” I repeated his words, grabbing the champagne and ice bucket as I began to stroll out of the room. “I’m really starting to think you have a better chance at ‘extrapolating’ your soulmate rather than finding them.”

“Wait!”

I whipped around to face him with furrowed eyebrows. I nodded for him to continue, watching as a sly expression reappeared on his face. “You forgot my juice.”

I sighed, setting the items back down on the counter before reaching for the fridge. “You are a grown man, Spence,” I gesticulated at the boy. I grabbed Spencer’s favorite sparkling water and left it aside. “You couldn’t get your own?” I raised my eyebrows at him, ducking out of the refrigerator door.

He crossed his legs, still propped up on the counter. “Well, you did call me a five-year-old and it is my birthday,” he argued, shrugging his shoulders tauntingly.

“I said that the other day, and considering it’s your birthday, that would mean you’d be old enough to conduct yourself,” I countered.

“Actually, it’s grammatically inappropriate to say, ‘the other day’ when the event in question occurred yesterday,” he began to ramble. With an unimpressed nod, I began to slowly back away from the scene until I was abruptly stopped once again.

“Wait!”

“What!”

“You forgot to put it in a cup,” he meekly suggested, his face evident of mischief.

“You’re clearly enjoying this aren’t you?” I groaned, shuffling towards where he was. “I’ll give you something to enjoy...” I whispered to myself.

With a plan set in motion, I sauntered over to where Spencer sat. Once I was in front of him, I made sure to give no indication that I was moving beside him. Instead, I leaned forward, letting our chests press together as I reached up for a mug. I would be lying if I denied the faint blush warming up the apples of my cheeks or the tightness of my throat from this proximity. In a nervous hash, I could’ve sworn hearing Spencer’s breath hitch as my chin brushed against his neck.

Feigning a confident disposition, I dropped back to the heels of my feet, finding myself to be inches away from the enamored and naive genius. “You need this?” I murmured, trying to maintain a collected tone of voice. However, Spencer did make it difficult with the intensity of his penetrating gaze or the way his breath fanned over my sensitive skin.

For a lasting moment, I began to dissect the small specks of hazel hues in his eyes and how a dark pool of brown surrounded his irises. The tip of his nose was flushed in crimson and his mouth hung in what seemed like anticipation and hesitation battling it out. “Uh, yeah... thank you.” His Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped, linking his fingers with mine to take the mug.

Without breaking eye contact, he set the mug aside and away from view. I opened my mouth to say something, but I soon discovered a dessert residing in the back of my throat. Slowly my composure unraveled, leaving me and Spencer in a purgatory of uncertainty and elation. I heard my heart thump against the walls of my ribcage as my eyes traveled to the parting of his lips, his tongue ever so often swiping against the skin.

I shook my head out of the trance we were in, popping the hypnotic bubble forming around us. With a trepidatious smile, I gestured to the living room, suggesting going back out there. “Do you want to...” I tied my hands behind my back, stepping away from him slowly. He nodded in response; his mouth tightly pressed into an awkward line.

With less than obvious movements, we both tiptoed our way back to the liveliness of the other room, soon forgetting about the juice and cup all together.

“Bye guys, thank you for coming! See you tomorrow.” I politely bid everyone a farewell, sending them safe wishes home as they excited through the front door. “Pen, are you coming with us tomorrow?” I received a tipsy nod and a few stumbling feet, but nonetheless confirmation for the case. Spencer was to the left of me doing the same, enduring some last-minute birthday teasing from Morgan before he made his exit.

With the slow creaking of the door, I leaned against the wood, letting my legs slowly slip down the floor until I was sitting. I tilted my head up, staring at an exhausted Spencer before making grabby hands at him. He snorted at the childlike request, aggressively pulling at my wrists until I landed into his chest.

“Alright birthday boy, just because you’re older doesn't mean you can get all strong on me,” I warned, nuzzling my heavy head onto his shoulder. A pleasant silence surrounded us, our bodies maintaining an equal balance as we leaned onto each other. On another note, it reminded me of Newton’s principle of force that Spencer explained to me a few months back. How Newton’s cradle, a simple office trinket, exemplified conservation of momentum and energy. In this fragment of space, it felt like that with Spencer—it always felt like that: a comfortable momentum.

“Hey Spence?”

The quiet continued to spread throughout the atmosphere.

“Spencer?” I pressed my chin against his chest, feeling his arms find their way to my lower back. He hummed in response, his eyelids resting at a closed position. “I’m sorry about that thing in the kitchen... I was just messing around.”

He took a while to react before sighing and pressing a tired kiss to the side of my head; with that, I knew things were okay. “Oh! I didn’t give you your present yet.”

I melted away from his arms, scurrying off to the couch. In an exaggerated reveal, I pulled a small parcel from beneath the cushions, glee filling my eyes as I watched the bow on top spring out. I extended my arms towards Spencer, eager to have him open it.

He walked tentatively towards me, taking purposefully leisurely strides. At one point he began to act like he was in a slow-motion sequence, causing me to threaten the integrity of his present. With raised hands, he sat next to me on the couch and gently pried the gift from my hands. “What did you get me this time? Let me guess. From the size and shape of his package here,” he turned the box around in his hands, shaking it up, “and the sound to force ratio-”

“Just open the damn thing, Spence.”

He smiled at my usual impatience, letting his fingers glide against the edge of the parcel. Finally, with gentle hands, he picked apart the wrapping paper, careful not to rip the heart sticker that held the presentation together. He gathered the bow in his palm, and gently pressed the sticky side of the accessory to my cheek.

I cringed at the feeling, but that soon dissipated hearing the mollified chuckle escape Spencer’s mouth. With a determined huff, Spencer pulled the last pieces of wrapping paper from the box and was left with a frayed book in his palm.

“The Parliment of Foweles...” he whispered; an unreadable expression crossed his features.

I curled into my own body, anticipating some form of reaction. “I... I remember you told me the first time we really sat down and got to know each other that your mom used to read that to you when you were younger.” I picked at the stitches on the couch, a lump forming in my esophagus as my tongue swelled. “It’s first edition...” I smiled, insecurity beginning to conquer my excitement from before.

“Sorry, if you don’t like it... I was just-”

A pair of arms pulled me into a secure embrace while a tender hand came around to cup the back of my head. An inaudible expression of gratitude was lost in between babbles of endearment and soft caresses. Spencer pulled away with pools of adoration, he clutched the book in hand as he pulled me under his arm. He ran his thumb along the deckles that adorned the sides of the pages, his palm tenderly feeling the roughness of the old woven spine.

To open the book, he singled out a random page and lightly flicked a few pages to the side before I halted his movements completely. “Wait!” I requested. “I want you to read it after the case so we can do it together,” I sheepishly tucked a hair behind his ear, hiding the careful blush on my cheeks. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah...that’s fine with me,” he breathed, his eyes locked onto the soft curves of my face. I pulled my hand away, tugging my sleeve further down my arm. “Oh! That reminds me.” Spencer places the book behind him and headed over the coat rack next to the front door. Sliding his hands through various pockets, he finally pulled a small box from one of the compartments.

He tentatively approached me, turning the object in hand. “I know it’s my birthday, but... I wanted to do something because you’ve made everything better in these past years,” he confessed, fidgeting as he came closer. “Being with my mother always felt like home, and I just... you became that for me, so thank you.”

My fingers reached over to his open palm, approaching the velvet box as if it was fragile. I glazed over its general shape, turning it a few times between my hands. “Spencer...I don’t even know what to say.”

“Well, you can start by opening it,” he smiled.

I shook my head, gently prying the box open. Inside laid a beautiful heart-shaped necklace with words etched into the metal. Once I read the words, a heavy breath escaped my lungs, and my shoulders lost all tension. “Spencer...”

“I thought that it would be easier to have the words of your soulmate above your heart rather than you tracing over your hip,” he professed. “I also know that even if you deny not having any connection to this soulmate thing, it often brings you comfort when needed.”

My attention went to him the second he uttered those words. “How did you know,” I mumbled with an enamored chuckle.

“Well, whenever we’re in the field, I could tell the times you get nervous or need reassurance by the way you subtly touch your hip.”

“I thought staring was punishable by death,” I joked, referring to his argument earlier today.

He brushed it off with a wide smile, combing his hands through his hair. “I know we have a hefty case tomorrow based on what Penelope showed us last briefing, so I hoped that this would make you feel better,” he confessed, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back into the arm of the couch.

“Thank you, Spencer...really,” I wrapped my arms above my head, trying to attach the unlocked chain around my neck. “Can you...?”

With gracious hands, he lifted the chain from my fingertips and wrapped it around my neck. The skin of his fingers would occasionally brush the back of my neck, sending euphoric chills down my spine. I felt myself squirm under his touch slightly, although it wasn’t enough to be obvious. Lifting my hair to the side with his wrist, he clasped the necklace together, letting the cold metal kiss the skin.

I turned around, appreciating the trinket in my hands. I shook my head in disbelief, watching as some of the moonlight that seeped through the window reflected off the metal. “Thank you, again, Spencer.” I nodded, bringing him into a meaningful embrace. My head rested in the crook of his neck, an aroma of pine, vanilla, and old books surrounding us. “This really is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever possessed.”

He scoffed, gently wrapping his hands around the small of my back. “Everything pales in comparison to you.”

October 29th

...

I twirled the metal heart in between my fingers as Hotch’s words failed to reach my ears. I would look up occasionally to see the pictures, but we’ve been dealing with an unsub who showed no mercy to anything morally reprehensible. I sighed, swinging my feet under me as I pretended to be enveloped by the case file in my other hand.

“Since we’re dealing with a L.D.S.K-”

“A long-distance serial killer,” Emily intercepted, nodding towards the team.

“We’ll have SWAT patrol the surrounding rooftops. Emily and I will stay with the defense team here.” Hotch pointed to the house of the unsub’s target. “Morgan, Y/N, and Reid will go through the floors of the apartment building with the strike team—witnesses stated that he was located on the 5th floor, but we have to be ready for anything.”

I looked over to Morgan with a determined expression. His face hardened at the words and his lips was pressed into a tight line. In my peripheral, I could see the way his veins would constrict against the skin as he clenched his fists.

This case hit him particularly hard considering we couldn’t save the unsub’s last victim. It was a 4-year-old little girl, and we were misinformed about her possible location. By the time we got to her, she was faced down into a park well with a single bullet hole above her heart. I watched the slow diffusion of her blood, and how the water turned to a murky black. I couldn’t imagine Morgan’s guilt considering he was so sure of himself when reaching a breakthrough with the unsub’s whereabouts. The parents of the child would soon blame Morgan for his ignorance, spewing derogatory slurs in their distress.

“We’ll get him Hotch,” Morgan assured, “This time, we’ll get him.”

Spencer noticed the certitude in his voice, sharing a look with me to give extra attention to Morgan out in the field. I smiled at him, warmed at the concern that the genius had over his friend.

“I’ll be working with local PD to hold a press conference to keep the public on the lookout,” JJ expressed, crossing her arms.

“Since...last time, we figured that unsub finds enjoyment in toying with us or singling us out. So, keep each other in check and make sure to report back in your earpieces every five minutes.” Hotch himself seemed perturbed by the unsub’s earlier actions considering he had his own toddler to deal with. “Penelope has sent the coordinates to everyone. Remember the profile, and don’t leave yourselves vulnerable. We’re dealing with an elusive unsub that won’t stop at nothing to satisfy himself,” Hotch spoke with a quiver in his voice.

I bit the inside of my cheek and breathed heavily through my mouth. My hands began to drift to my hip but momentarily stopped as I remembered the chain around my neck. I slumped into the chair as Hotch dismissed the team, sending them out for their respective assignments.

“You, okay?” I whipped around to the sound of JJ’s voice. She leaned against the doorframe with an expression full of concern. Looking behind her, she noticed Spencer noticeably pacing through the bullpen waiting for a specific someone. He attempted to disguise his eagerness by counting tiles on the floor or squares on the ceiling, but to JJ he was easily discernable.

I let a dry laugh, shaking my head. “After what happened, I’m a bit worried—not about me—but Morgan and Spence.” I swiveled around in the office chair a few times until I landed in front of JJ.

“You know you fidget the same way as Spence,” she pointed out, grinning at the similarity. I shook off the oncoming warmth that flooded the skin and looked elsewhere. “You’re right to worry about both of them though. But you know how stubborn and determined they are.” As she began to walk out, she left a lingering message that soothed my nerves. “Plus, Spencer may have that IQ of his, but we all know runs things between you all.”

She wasn’t wrong. I’ve always kept a watchful eye over the both of them—maybe Spencer a little more—but nonetheless, I deeply cared about both of them. It was relieving to know that Spencer’s circle of trust exponentially grew from Morgan to JJ to me. It symbolized the growth that Spencer was mostly oblivious to, but it meant more to me than I can explain, seeing how he opened himself up to happier possibilities.

A sharp exhale left my lungs while my lips formed into a sly smirk. Without another minute to wait, I left the round table behind JJ, leaving Spencer to stop dawdling. “You ready genius?” I walked out into the hall, not sparing a glance at the figure trailing behind me.

“With you? Always.”

“Nothing here,” a voice confirmed in my earpiece. My gun hung low in my hands while I tiptoed through the floor of the apartment building. “You know Y/N, if I knew that the unsub was going to the pick a building in the area we resided in, maybe I would’ve considered having the party at Rossi’s instead,” Spencer joked.

I bit the smile growing on my lips, focusing on the assignment on hand.

“Maybe after the case, instead of reading that book in our apartment we can go over to that small library/cafe we’ve been meaning to go to,” he continued to drone, forgetting about the connection of everyone’s channels.

“Reid, if all you’re gonna do is flirt with Y/N, leave the damn channel,” Morgan warned. Hearing the worry in his tone, Spencer straightened up, coughing to cover up his soft apology. Being separated didn’t help the irrational thoughts that built up in the back of my conscience; I can’t even comprehend what’s probably going through Morgan’s head.

“You good?” I mumbled into the com; my eyes straightforward while I advanced towards the hall. Morgan didn’t respond, an inaudible huff coming through the speakers.

“I’m moving up to the top floor. Y/N and Reid, go back down to the basement and see if we missed anything,” Morgan broke the awkward silence with an austerity in his words. The silent hum that came afterwards was worse than earlier. I turned off my earpiece, sensing a conversation about to ensue between the two gentlemen.

The thickness in the atmosphere was similar to the air that surrounded me and Spencer when competing in recreational chess. Whenever I attempted to put his king in check, he would block the move by maneuvering another piece in front of it. This would lead to a game of cat and mouse until I would figure out that the entire time, Spencer had been deluding me into false security while checking my king piece. Ultimately, I would lose to Spencer. However, there were games where I’d outmaneuver him or win by dumb luck.

I’d like to think that I developed some sort of intuition for his behavior from playing against him, but he’s deemed unpredictable every game. He was always sharp, eight steps ahead and aware of all possibilities. I guess that’s what make him an effective profiler, always thinking in the future.

I ran down the stairs, still armed, when Penelope’s voice ran through the earpiece. “Updates! Updates people.” The joy in her voice always relived me of the gloom that usually surrounded me in the field; hopefully she has the same effect on Morgan.

“Hey, Pen.” An invisible grin was evident in my words, knowing she’d pick up on it.

“Hello, my love, seems like at least one person is happy to see me,” she verbally jabbed at the lack of response from Spence and Morgan.

Still no response.

“Sorry, they’re working out their marriage at the moment,” I teased, hoping for the usual distasteful comment I usually get from Morgan.

Still nothing.

An unnerving feeling crept up the back of my neck. “Penelope, can you check if their coms are still workin—shit.” Before I could finish, a long buzz of static came through the speakers. The only comprehensible words that were picked up was the beginning of my name before cutting off.

I bit my lip, pulling out the small piece of technology and tapping it a few times. “Come on... dammit.” After playing around with the earpiece, I grew frustrated with it and stuffed it into my pocket.

I paced in the small landing between the stairs, thinking of a new gameplan. I ran my fingers through the ends of my hair, feeling the split ends prick at the skin. I felt a mountain growing in at the bottom of my stomach, leaving my esophagus constricted without air. “What would Spencer do,” I mumbled to myself, gripping onto my necklace.

“Spencer...Spencer...”

Before I could finish the mantra, a shot rang out from above me, and the crashing off glass followed. In the split moment, my legs grew a mind of its own and sprinted to higher ground. Suddenly, the sweat perspiring off me turned cold, and my heartbeat slammed itself into my spinal cord as I ran. My feet forgot its exhaustion while my mind devoured every irrational thought, and combined it with adrenaline.

The single thing that drove me over my limits was knowing that the person who fabricated and would shoo away these thoughts was somewhere I didn’t know I could get to in time.

Spencer’s POV

I tiptoed into a vacant suite of the building, still antsy about the scolding I received from Morgan. The conversation after didn’t help considering it was all a reminder to be aware and focused on the task at hand. I knew Morgan was filled with the need for redemption despite the team forgiving him of his ignorance. So, I shook off the creeping feeling and abided by his instructions.

Deciding to update Y/N and Morgan about my whereabouts, I spoke into the coms only to have static come out of it. I tried once again but failed to reach anyone. The room around me shrank as a sharp exhale left my lungs. I swallowed the buildup of saliva in the back of my throat, feeling uneasy about not knowing what’s to come.

Seeing at the area was clear, I looked out of one of the windows. Initially I cringed at the accumulated dirt and grime in the glass panes, but that all dissipated when I spotted the quaint park that Y/N loved. No one else had any interest in the community lot, seeing as people would coin it—or what Y/N would tell me—the park of death. But to her, she saw the opposite as she always does.

The light feeling of reminiscing my interactions with Y/N soothed the disconcerting atmosphere, keeping me grounded. Although the sentiment ended as soon as it started when I spotted one of the apartment walls was spray-painted with black letters.

Zugzwang

A blaring shot rang out and glass shattered into the room. I ducked into the floor, shutting my eyes. My head spun as the boom impaired my hearing. The window was forcibly open, the shards resting beside me. Left disoriented, I groaned, only feeling the after wave of vibrations on the ground. However, I soon found out that the quake of the floor wasn’t from the initial shot, but the rapid clobbering of feet inching closer to the suite and a shadowy figure preceding it.

Y/N emerged from the doorframe, panting. Eyes were laced in fear while they bore into my own. My stomach twisted into knots from previous events while I contemplated what had occurred. The presence of Y/N wasn’t even strong enough to relinquish the egging feeling crawling in my skin. I anticipated Morgan to appear, considering he was closer to the scene.

Where was he?

Another thing I didn’t anticipate, a second shot.

“Spencer?”

January 3rd

Three months after

My thoughts antagonized one another while I stared out into the world from the eerily quiet apartment. The living room was cold and empty despite the array of furniture scattered about and the broken picture frames lining the walls. The vapor rising from the cup of tea drifted into the air, vanishing into nonexistence. It’s funny how that could happen in a matter of milliseconds.

The pain the lived inside the chambers of my heart was no match for the burning of skin I felt when holding onto the steaming cup. The only worthy adversary would be the rush of self-resentment that coursed through me when picking up the book. I deserved it though. I deserved the spikes through my stomach while my fingers trailed the deckled pages, reminding me of the first time I held the book, its previous owner present with me.

I would remember our time together.

I would remember the promise shared between us.

I would remember the bloodied handprint pressed against my chest.

Now all I had was the physical manifestation of what’s left: the necklace. As cruel as it was for me, I kept it in the book, using it as a bookmark while I lost myself into poems. After a while, the inked words lost their meaning to me, becoming an empty cacophony that encased the jewelry.

Every time I grasped the chain in my clutches, a numbed ache would make itself known at the pit of my stomach. It clawed at my intestines and made the entirety of my body system obsolete. With that, I was abandoned with the sinister hauntings of my own mind—a part of me that I was once praised for.

A genius. A prodigy. Hidden behind the real mess of a guilty man.

I ignored the smashed chess board and pieces that laid still at my feet, concentrating on the snowflakes that littered the park across from the building. The grounds looked beautiful, covered in layers of pure white. I sipped at the tea once more letting my mind deteriorate with a sophisticated nonchalance.

What a tragedy it was to know my soulmate, especially right under the tip of my nose. What a cruel joke life had played.

I wished I had more time.

It was easier to let the guilt consume me rather than pondering on what I lost—who I lost. Had I lost myself too? Maybe, it didn’t matter. In some masochistic way, I enjoyed the guilt because it was a way to remember that at one point someone made for me existed. I used it to relive the moments I could never get back.

All that remained was an empty shell of a man, staring out into a dull world, wondering how time took everything away from him.

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