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#i think ive suffered enough all i want is to be happy i just want to start a GOOD era
orcelito · 1 year
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need 2 reignite the mental illness for akechi. gotta pspspsp my brain. like "dont look over there! look over here!"*insert pic of Him*
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lululandd · 9 months
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rabid; (i.)
pairing: platonic simon ‘ghost’ riley x gn!reader
word count: 956
warnings: comedy, aftermath of torture, mild gore
note: heheh >:3 (also on ao3)
summary:
ghost has a love-hate relationship with his neighbour of six years. on one hand they’re quiet enough, nice enough, considerate enough and never once had bothered him in any way, but on the other hand he is a highly trained soldier with highly trained senses and the things he hears travelling through his walls are batshit insane.
part i. | part ii. | part iii. | part iv.
He guesses they are an entertainer or a comedian or some sort because on rare occasions, they—whether he wanted to or not—made him laugh. The absurdity of the questions and things that came out of their mouth really makes him feel like he has a glimpse of what a worry free civilian life could be.
On one particularly rowdy night he heard the one sided conversation about anal, which rapidly escalated to how peoples arseholes can stretch up to seven inches in diameter and therefore, theoretically could fit two smaller raccoons.
He listened in fascinated horror how that thought came into their mind, how they associated arseholes with raccoons, and why in christ fuck did they sound so cheerful about it. Maybe he’s just a battle hardened, workaholic soldier that has only seen carnage and suffering, but even if such a thought came to his mind, it would not be classified as a happy thought and he would not laugh about it.
Until eight months later where he’s interrogating an American that he really wants to just straight up murder and remembers his neighbour.
He opens the door that leads to the rest of the warehouse and calls out to his men, “I need two raccoons. Small but not pups.”
He was met with silence and a confused looks, but he saw Gaz and Soap get on it and round up several soldiers.
“Alive!” He barked at them.
Soap looked worriedly at Gaz, “What do you think he’s gonna do with live raccoons?”
The other man shrugged, “You think he’s gonna threaten him with rabies?” Gaz gnashed his teeth together, “Let them bite him or something?”
One of the Lance Corporals behind them chimed, “I kinda wanna see.”
In came a chime of ‘yeah’s from the other men.
Ghost had made sure the American in question heard his request of the live raccoons before taking a seat on the table holding all his tools and lighting up a cigarette.
He looked at the man’s surroundings, the litter of teeth and nails on the floor, three parts of his severed ring finger, and the blood splatters on the makeshift plastic floor. The cleanup crew’s gonna at least be a little happy about that.
“You like raccoons, mate?” He offers, lighting what seemed to be his third cigarette.
The question caught him off guard. “What?”
“Raccoons. Trash pandas. Those chubby lil wankers with grubby hands.” He curled his palms and did mock scratching motions.
“You’re crazy.” He spat.
“I am.” For even thinking of trying this over his neighbour’s demented jokes.
Fourty five minutes later Gaz came knocking on his door.
“Got your furry friends, boss.” He gestures at a cage sitting by the door. The animals seemed calm, they couldn’t have just nicked it from some random bins and throw them in there.
“Cheers, Gaz.” He saw the man linger. “Anything else?”
“Can we observe, Sir?”
“No.” came his quick answer. If he really has to do what he thinks he’s gonna do, he’d rather his men not see it. They’ve seen so much in their line of work already, he doesn’t want to add to their nightmares.
Imagining one of them having PTSD from seeing a harmless animal makes him feel guilty.
He took the cage from Gaz’s hands and placed it nicely on the floor, a little way away from the American’s feet.
“You know that saying?” He puts on his best southern accent, mimicking Graves. “What crawled up your butt and died?”
The man’s eyes widened and he tried so hard to shift further into his seat, trying to create as much distance between them as possible. Ghost lets the moment go on for a little longer. It makes all the difference, really; whether you rush into the torture or letting them sit and wonder about the choices they think they have.
“I heard somewhere that your arse can stretch up to seven inches in diameter.” He pointed at the raccoons, “The normal sized bastards can fit into a four inch hole. But I’m being nice today and gonna give these smaller ones some wiggle room.”
He can’t help but crouch closer to the cage and coo at them as the man starts yelling for help.
“So.” He said in a calm voice, listing his head slowly when the man had stopped screaming his throat dry. “Since I’m a very nice man today I’m gonna give you two options.”
Fat rolls of tears had started to run down the man’s cheeks, his chest heaving as he begged for mercy.
“Do you want me to sedate these raccoons so they don’t claw your insides or do you wanna..” He remembers a word that floated into his flat one night, “..rawdog it?”
Soap had never seen a cleaner interrogation room before. Not from Ghost, the man’s usually so brutal about it. He remembers seeing parts of a live brain one time because Ghost had bashed their skull so badly and remembered having to shoot the person dead out of pity. But today? The intel was good, the man was still alive with almost all of his body parts; save for some of his teeth and nails and the chopped up finger,
and the raccoons.
They were alive and Ghost seemed to never have opened the cage at all.
When Ghost came home that month he heard his neighbour say something about a ‘little birthday celebration’ for tomorrow. He checked his watch and decided to walk to the bakery and get them some cake. That last operation went smoothly, and he has them to thank.
He can’t wait to hear what other mental things that will come out of their mouth in the future and apply them to his work.
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melrosing · 26 days
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Sorry if you’ve talked about this before but I can’t find it if you have. What are your thoughts on Jaime’s role in the Tysha situation?
I don't think I have actually talked about this at any particular length before?? which is weird bc i have thought about it a lot but to quickly summarise before launching into it:
I think Jaime's part in this is a human failing. it wasn't a malicious or spiteful act, but an ignorant one
that said, I think it's basically unforgivable regardless. Tysha and Tyrion are the only people who could forgive him for this and even if Tyrion does, I really doubt we'll ever learn Tysha's feelings on the matter
imo the way in which Jaime ultimately decides to come clean is near enough the cruelest thing he does, even if he didn't mean it to be
so first off, I don't think Jaime has ever truly believed that Tyrion couldn't be loved (in the romantic sense, anyway). Jaime himself is someone who loves despite appearances, and it seems he knows pretty soon after telling Tyrion the lie about Tysha that it wasn't really a kindness, but in fact the worst thing he's ever done (so far!!)
I also think if it hadn't been for what Tywin subsequently put Tyrion and Tysha through with the guards, Jaime would've come clean shortly after telling the lie. but after that, no doubt it felt almost impossible to do so, because the damage was now outsized and there was little chance Tyrion and Tysha would be able to return to what they had.
but he does tell the lie to begin with, and I think that is because Jaime lives in an ableist society and is touched by the stink. he loves Tyrion and Tyrion's disability has never impeded that love, but it has meant that Jaime has failed him many times, sometimes without even knowing he has. for one thing, I think he has failed to realise just how much Tyrion has suffered through childhood. he comes to some revelation following his maiming at the hand of the mummers:
Sometimes he even wept, until he heard the Mummers laughing. Then he made his eyes go dry and his heart go dead, and prayed for his fever to burn away his tears. Now I know how Tyrion has felt, all those times they laughed at him. (JAIME IV, ASOS)
however, it suggests that whilst Jaime has never been laughing with 'them', the full extent of his understanding has necessarily been limited. besides that, I think Jaime has always been in a unique position where he could have definitively stood up to Tywin and Cersei in terms of how they treat Tyrion - he alone had the ability to withhold something until they did so, whether that be love or obedience. but obviously he lets his fear of his father/codependency with Cersei get in the way of that, so.
he's also carelessly partaken in ableism without thinking, indeed in front of Tyrion - whether that's in calling him 'the Imp' (something Tyrion can reclaim but Jaime certainly can't), or this fucking gem:
"Even if the boy does live, he will be a cripple. Worse than a cripple. A grotesque. Give me a good clean death." Tyrion replied with a shrug that accentuated the twist of his shoulders. "Speaking for the grotesques," he said, "I beg to differ. Death is so terribly final, while life is full of possibilities." (TYRION I, AGOT)
again, doesn't really matter if Jaime has been able to push past some of the ableism others have adopted, the stink is still on him.
so, when Tywin dictated the lie he wanted Jaime to tell, I can imagine he was in two minds. on the one hand, Jaime loves Tyrion, wants Tyrion to be happy, and would be pleased if Tyrion found happiness with someone who truly loves him back. once again, Jaime himself loves despite appearances, and so I don't think he would ever have found it inconceivable that Tysha honestly loved Tyrion.
but again, he lives in an ableist society, and so when Tywin tells Jaime that Tysha's love was cynical, that might have seemed possible, too. Jaime has grown up in a world that has called Tyrion a monster since birth. it doesn't matter if Jaime doesn't think Tyrion is a monster; he knows that much of the world does, and accepts (if only for a time) that Tywin's assessment of Tysha could be true.
then there's the fact that once Tywin has made a decision, perhaps Jaime thought Tyrion and Tysha's relationship was a lost cause; besides that, if Tysha were taking advantage, Jaime doesn't want Tyrion to be hurt by it. hence, "a kindness". it's all deeply flawed logic, but again, this isn't about malice or spite on Jaime's part: it's ignorance mixed up ableism, and human failing.
then ofc, Tywin does what he does to Tyrion and Tysha and that's it. Jaime figures there's no way he could tell Tyrion the truth now without causing him even greater pain, and keeps quiet for the foreseeable future, retaining that as one of his very deepest regrets. because Jaime knows near enough immediately that he was lying to himself as well: he knows full well that Tyrion can love and be loved, and yet he propagated Tywin's lie..... for what.
could get into the absolute fucking tragedy of Jaime and Tyrion, practically the only two out of the Tywin/Cersei/Jaime/Tyrion quartet with a genuinely uncomplicated, loving relationship, having their love turned to poison by the worst dad of all time. but another time
then to move into ASOS: look like I don't know if it was ever the right thing to tell Tyrion the truth once the thing was done. I can see both sides: one, Tyrion deserves to know that he can be loved, and has been loved. two, how the fuck is Tyrion supposed to feel knowing the truth, and that his whole life he's been living a lie.
but I think the biggest problem is that Jaime doesn't really reckon with that so much as his own desire to be honest and do right and come clean etc. he certainly knows how much he risks hurting Tyrion or else he wouldn't have kept quiet all this time, but it seems at least part of it is about honesty for the sake of cleansing himself rather than doing right by Tyrion.
he also. forgets to apologise??
"For your gold, Father said. She was lowborn, you were a Lannister of Casterly Rock. All she wanted was the gold, which made her no different from a whore, so . . . so it would not be a lie, not truly, and . . . he said that you required a sharp lesson. That you would learn from it, and thank me later . . ." "Thank you?" Tyrion's voice was choked. "He gave her to his guards. A barracks full of guards. He made me . . . watch." Aye, and more than watch. I took her too . . . my wife . . . "I never knew he would do that. You must believe me." (TYRION XI, ASOS)
like I think Jaime is honestly sorry. he's afraid to tell Tyrion because he's sorry, he accepts Tyrion's punch because he's sorry, etc. but he never manages to actually say it, he's too busy trying to make himself understood. he wants Tyrion to understand why he did what he did, and it's like. why would Tyrion give a fuck why right now, he'd trying to reckon with the impact it's had on him, and the fact that he and Tysha lost their happiness together and suffered so horribly for nothing.
so whilst I think it's human to botch an apology like this, to be so busy trying to explain yourself you forget to apologise at all, and that you're meant to be centring the victim of your wrong. but it is still fucking wrong lol. Jaime gets it so, so wrong.
all of that to say, I don't think Jaime has ever wanted to hurt Tyrion, but he has - he has hurt him badly. doesn't negate his love for Tyrion - it says in his own POV that Cersei and Tyrion are the two people he cares most about in the world. but he fucks it. partly because of the ableist society he lives in, partly because of the toxic family dynamic he's part of, and partly because he's human, and that's the tragedy.
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vodika-vibes · 2 months
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Hi hi Ive just seen you're bouquet request is coming g go an end I'd LOVE Acica(Secret love) ambrosia (returned affections) for Commander fox (I adore him)
If you need any baseline idea maybe him just refusing to accept his feelings and after some kinda push finally is like shit like them ofc reader loves him back and has the whole time
I'd also be happy with any of the more classicly grumpy fellas eg alpha 17, but who ever is in your brain
A New Love
Summary: Fox is in love with his friend...he just refuses to admit it to anyone, including himself.
Pairing: Commander Fox x F!Reader
Word Count: 2028
Warnings: Mentions of Palpatine physically abusing Fox
Prompts: Acacia - Secret love, Ambrosia - returned affections
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly
A/N: I don't really know anything about make-up because I'm allergic to almost all of it and so I don't wear it. So I apologize if anything is wrong. Also, I hope this is close to what you're wanting? I was struggling to come up with something good here.
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“Will you hold still?” Fox rolls his eyes but stops moving as she carefully applies the makeup to his jaw and cheek, “Do you want me to cover the scars on your neck too?” She asks as she tilts his head to the side so she can see better.
“Probably should.” He replies with a sigh, “Don’t want my brothers to ask any questions that I can’t answer.”
She scowls at him, “Maybe you should let them ask questions, Fox.”
“You said you were willing to help without judgment, sen’ika.” He reminds her with a pointed look.
She sighs, “I am. Of course I am. I’m here, aren’t I?” She pulls away and eyes the covered scar critically, “Alright, open your shirt so I can to your neck and chest.”
Fox rolls his eyes again, and unfastens the clip at his neck, exposing his neck enough that she’s able to get to the scar.
She inhales sharply when she sees just how bad the scarring is, “...Fox-”
“You promised.” He reminds her flatly.
“Yes. I know. I know I did.” Her voice sounds thick with tears, and Fox feels a surge of guilt. If he had anyone else who would help him cover his injuries he would go to them, rather than bothering his one nat-born friend.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.”
She shakes her head, a weak smile on her painted lips, “It’s okay. I was pushing, and I promised that I wouldn’t.”
“It’s for your own safety.” Fox mutters, his eyes closing as she goes to work.
“I know. So you keep saying.” Her hands are warm against his skin as she gently applies the make-up to cover the scarring. She’s quiet for a moment, and then she sighs, “Sorry, I have to restart. These scars are redder, I need to do some color correction.”
Fox opens his eyes and watches as she pulls a wipe from the table and starts wiping the makeup off his neck, and then she crosses the room to her vanity and digs around for some other make-up.
He really is lucky to have her. 
Fox knows that he’d never be able to explain these scars to his brothers. Or, he doesn’t want to explain these scars to his brothers, rather. He pushes the swell of bitterness away with ease. He loves his brothers, he wouldn’t want any of them to be in his place.
But it would be nice if they noticed that he was suffering.
At least his sen’ika sees it.
She’s a make-up artist, who works at one of the largest and most well respected theaters on Coruscant. She invited herself into his life, and Fox has to admit that his life is all the better for it.
Partly because she keeps his secrets and is able to help him hide his scars and bruises from his brothers. But mostly because she’s a genuinely good person.
It’s not love.
It’s not.
He can’t afford to love anyone, not with the state of the galaxy. Not when his boss throws lightning around like it’s nothing. 
Sure, he thinks about her all of the time. And sure, he worries about her constantly.
But he doesn’t love her. He can’t.
“Ha! Found it!” She hurries back to his side with a tube of something green, “I’ll use some of this first,” She murmurs, “And that’ll help hide the red-”
“You’re the best, you know that?” Fox asks, leaning back as she applies the color corrector to the scar.
“Well, I try.” She takes a step back and sets the tube back on the table, “How are you feeling, by the way? You look like you haven’t been sleeping.”
“I work a lot.”
She sighs, “I’ll cover the dark circles under your eyes too. But, Fox, this isn’t feasible in the long term.”
“I know it isn’t, sen’ika.” Fox replies quietly, “I appreciate the fact that you’re willing to cover my scars as regularly as you do.”
“Yeah, well…” She grabs the concealer and then points it at him, “It’s not like the Republic bothers to pay you, so this is quite literally the least I can do. Normally you’re not this concerned though.”
“Yeah, well. I’m going to 79s with my brothers this afternoon,” Fox says with a sigh, “And I don’t want them to worry.”
“Oh?” She grins at him, “Maybe I’ll join you.”
Fox glances up at her, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah? Looking for a boyfriend among my brothers?” He asks as he ignores the pang of jealousy.
“Maybe I want to dance with you.” She counters.
Fox laughs softly, “That’s a terrible idea.”
Her smile falters, “Right. Of course. I just…I wish you would tell me why it’s such a bad idea for me to spend time with you.”
“It’s complicated.”
She sighs, “Right. You could just say that you’re not interested, Fox. I won’t be mad.”
He sighs, “The more time you spend with me, the more likely it is that you’re going to get hurt.” Fox says, “I’m trying to keep you safe.”
“Yeah, yeah. I get it.” She pulls back slightly to admire her work, “Alright. You’re done, Fox.”
“Awesome. Thanks, sen’ika.” He refastens his shirt and stands, only for her to press his helmet into his hands, “I don’t deserve you.” Fox says with a fond smile.
“Nonsense.” She shakes her head, “You deserve everything in the galaxy and then some.” She favors him with a small, adoring smile. “I’m still planning on going to 79s tonight, Fox. I’ll just…keep my distance and find someone else to dance with. Promise.”
Fox’s fingers flex against his helmet. He’s not jealous. He’s not.
“Sounds like a plan.”
She smiles at him and hugs him quickly, “Be careful, as careful as you can be, at work today. There’s only so much I can hide.”
He folds his arm around her, “It’s not up to me, but I’ll be as careful as possible. Promise.” He drops a light kiss to the top of her head, and then pulls himself out of her grip, and heads out of the apartment.
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Fox genuinely didn’t think that his sen’ika was going to come to 79s. He knows her, pretty well by this point, and he knows that she’s not really into the club scene.
She doesn’t like loud music, or the scent of stale beer, or the press of strangers against her.
So when he sees her enter the club, he nearly chokes on his drink.
She looks…great. Wearing a miniskirt and a crop top, and leather boots that make her legs look amazing.
Fox isn’t surprised to see that she’s drawing attention from his brothers. She’s already stunning, after all.
His gaze lingers on her as she heads to the bar, and his grip tightens around his bottle when he sees several of his brothers crowding around her. She probably hates that, Fox can’t help but think with a small smile. 
“She’s pretty,” Wolffe notes lightly, his gaze following his twins, “You should go dance with her.”
“Pass.” Fox replies, though he keeps his dark gaze on her, “Besides, she’s got enough admirers as it is.”
“Yeah. But they’re shinies and you’re Marshal Commander.” Wolffe replies with a small smirk, “You should feel honor bound to save her from their drooling.”
“I’m trying to get drunk, vod.”
“Maybe I’ll go and ask her to dance.” Wolffe muses, as he leans to the side to get a good look at her legs.
“Maybe you should leave her alone.” Fox bites out. 
Wolffe pauses and leans back in his seat, his eyes locked on his twin. “Huh. You know her, don’t you?”
Fox doesn’t answer him, he just takes a sip of his drink, though a small smile crosses his face when his sen’ika meets his gaze from across the room. Though she’s quick to look away, likely remembering her promise to not bother him.
“You know her well,” Wolffe continues, his eyes narrowing accusingly, “I saw that look. You’re friends with her.”
“Wolffe-”
“No, no. Why didn’t you tell me you had a pretty natborn friend? Are you sleeping with her?”
“What? No!”
“Why not?” Wolffe demands.
“Our friendship isn’t like that.” Fox bites out.
“Bullshit. I saw that look. You want her.” Wolffe says, “I’m going to get her and bring her over here.”
“I…no-” but there’s no point, Wolffe is already up from the table and crossing to the bar.
Fox watches as Wolffe talks to his sen’ika, and he watches as she glances at Fox, and then back at Wolffe and shakes her head with a small smile. He can practically hear her telling Wolffe that she promised to keep her distance tonight.
And then one of the shinies flings his arm over her shoulder and she cringes.
Fox sets his bottle down on the table as the shiny presses himself right against his sen’ika and twines some of her hair around his fingers. He watches as the shiny rubs his cheek against hers, and he’s on his feet and crossing the bar before he really thinks about it.
She’s his, damn it.
He firmly pries the shiny off of her, “Did you ask the lady if you could touch her?” Fox asks his voice flat.
The Shiny blinks at him hazily, and then he straightens, “Marshal Commander-”
“I suggest you go and clear your head.” Fox says, his voice very unamused, and then his gaze lingers on his Sen’ika once the shiny leaves. “Are you okay?”
She smiles sheepishly, “I guess I shouldn’t have even bothered trying to come here.” 
“It’s not really your scene, sen’ika.” Fox points out, gently.
“Yeah, I know.” She pushes her hand through her hair, “I guess I’ll just go home then.” She smiles up at him, “Sorry for ruining your night, Fox. I didn’t mean to.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.” Fox replies, “I’m always happy to see you, you know that.” Her smile grows and Fox releases an internal sigh, he’s so karked. Why did he have to realize that he loved her now, of all times?
Fox glances at his twin, who has a wide grin on his face, “I’m going to walk her out. Please don’t make this a thing.”
“Oh. Too late. It’s a thing.” Wolffe puts out his comm, “I’m telling…everyone?”
Fox just sighs and lightly nudges his sen’ika towards the door.
Once they’re outside, he turns to face her while she waits for her taxi to arrive, “Sorry, again. It seems I made things difficult for you.” She says sheepishly.
“Wolffe is my twin, he’s always going to be difficult.” Fox admits, “It’s not your fault.” He hesitates and then he lightly reaches out and brushes his fingers against her cheek. “I am glad that I got to see you tonight.”
“But…you said-”
“I know what I said. I’m an idiot.” Fox interrupts, he lightly brushes his thumb against her cheek, “I want, no need, you to know that I’m not uninterested.”
She blinks at him. “What?”
“Earlier, at your apartment. You said that you wanted me to let you know if I wasn’t interested.” Fox clarifies, “And that’s not the case. At all.”
“Oh,” She breathes the word out.
“I’m just…terrified that someone will hurt you to get to me.”
“I know. I’ve known that for a while.” She admits, “But, Fox, I don’t care.”
He stares at her, “You don’t?”
“I love you enough that it doesn’t bother me.” She speaks so lightly, so nonchalantly, as if she’s not admitting something huge.
Fox sighs and lightly cups her cheek, and he smiles when she leans into his touch, “I think we need to have a long chat.” He finally says, “Tomorrow. In the morning.”
“Yeah. Definitely. I’ll make breakfast.” She beams at him, and then turns as her cab pulls up. She flashes a quick smile and kisses his cheek, “I’ll see you in the morning, Fox.”
“Yeah. Good night, Sen’ika.”
And then she is gone, and Fox realizes that he has to deal with his overly excitable brothers for the remainder of the night. Tonight’s going to suck.
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OKAY SO IVE HAD AN IDEA FOR A WHILE
Imagine the M6 and MC proposing at the same time. Like they pull out a ring only to turn around and see that the other person also pulled out a ring. I think its very silly but also very cute :3
The Arcana HCs: MC and M6 proposing at the same time
~ ahaaa I love silly and cute! This is a wonderful suggestion and I adore it. another addition to the marriage themed hcs! - brainrot ~
Julian
Fumbles and almost drops the ring in shock
Is quick to pull himself back together and relax into his typical roguish grin
"Well that answers the question for me."
Will 100% forget to put the rings on because he's too busy frantically making out with you in relief
You'll have to be patient when you do go to put the rings on, because he's trembling all over
Is it the leftover nerves? The excitement? The week of sleepless nights he suffered overthinking it ahead of time?
Will need you to reassure him later that your answer was in fact yes
Will suggest you kiss him again to prove it
You're about to watch him agonize over one of the most difficult decisions of his life regarding his ring
Does he wear the original size that fits his finger? Does he request it be sized up to wear over his glove? He wants to show it off, but he wants to wear it all the time, and he can't ask you for two, and -
He's pacing? If you pin him he'll stop
Asra
Moment of silence while they turn bright red, because seeing you offer your commitment unprompted instead of themself suddenly makes it 1000x more real
Says yes so quietly you'll have to ask him to repeat
Will zone out staring at you adoringly until you make a move or they realize that you're looking at them too
Kisses you before you can give him the ring but at some point they'll magically appear on your fingers
You keep having to pause because they can't stop chuckling
Teases you relentlessly about it later
"So eager, MC. When did you become so forward?"
Picks up a new habit of kissing your wrist, palm, and ring finger every time you hold hands
Develops a strong preference for holding the hand with his ring on it
Doesn't make any kind of announcement, just visits all of their friends and acquaintances and waits for them to notice
Selasi the baker has the quickest time
Nadia
Delighted and trying not to show how peeved she is
She loves you. You love her. You love her so much that you're proposing
But she was already proposing
She's in the middle of following through on an elaborate plan that she's been putting together for weeks
She has a lot of backup plans too for when things can and will go wrong -
- she just doesn't have one for when they go right!
It's only a second of her grieving her initial plan of sweeping you off your feet before she's nodding and smiling and saying yes
Puts the rings on before kissing you
"I had a wonderful event planned. May I show you?"
Will have the grandest engagement announcement and celebration you're comfortable with
Decides in hindsight that the proposal was much better this way
The story about who proposed to who changes depending on whether she's talking to family or to friends
Muriel
Secretly relieved, he'll let you take it from here
Immediate reaction is to pull you into a hug. He's so happy and he wants to savor this moment
Doesn't need to say anything more unless you ask him, just let him enjoy this
He made the ring he gives you
Even more shy than usual about kissing you. He really wants to, but this is something he's been working up to doing for months now and it's a lot
Inanna gives him so much grief about it
Avoids going into town for a week after the news gets out. He knows he's going to be congratulated and he appreciates it but that requires responding to lots of people at once
Will frequently get lost in thought admiring his ring
It takes him a few tries to say "my fiance" out loud without overheating
Those first few tries happen in front of Asra, who brings it up regularly in conversation for years
Portia
Squeals high enough to make your ears bleed
You proposed at the same time! That's so romantic!! That's so in sync!!! This is clearly meant to be!!!!
Screams yes before kissing you breathless, the rest of the proposal completely forgotten
Talking excitedly between kisses about how much she loves you and how perfect that was until she remembers she didn't see the ring you chose
"Where's my ring? Oh, it's so beautiful! Quick, let's put them on!"
Nonstop ecstatic giggles for the rest of the day
Announces it to every person she meets and shows off the ring like it's a trophy
Has an ongoing story about how the rings are also in love with each other, and sometimes her ring gets lonely for your ring and wants a kiss, and oh look, now you're holding hands
You two should kiss too
Uses this story to introduce you on every single one of her ambassador trips
Lucio
Pouting at first because you interrupted him in the middle of proposing before he realizes that it's because you're proposing too
Well hey if you thought of it too then it must the perfect plan
Very aggressive making out, regardless of the setting he chose and whether anyone's watching
Secretly ecstatic about the ring
It's been a while since he's received something new and shiny to wear, and this one's a lifetime of special
Consistently fishes for compliments on the ring he chose for you. He just wants to ensure that his taste is the best
Mercedes and Melchior are so tuned in to him that they start going nuts every time he glances at his ring or introduces you as his fiance
If anyone asks, he proposed first and then you proposed immediately afterwards
Will either completely forget to mention that you're engaged or introduce himself to everyone he meets as "MC's fiance"
Forms a habit of flipping people off with his ring finger because "it's extra powerful if you're involved."
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prey-iv · 11 months
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we should stop excluding, fakeclaiming and witch hunting systems just for having mcyt alters
going in depth below but i just wanted to add a cut so it isnt a long post, apologies ^_^;
we should stop fakeclaiming in general because NOBODY is an expert, even professionals when we consider how little researched this disorder is. (we should still leave it up to them though...) but this specifically is the biggest issue ive seen across all platforms accessible to systems
to share our personal story so it makes a bit more sense, while the dream smp was still being played back in 2020 and nobody really cared or was aware of how shitty most of the people on it were, we took a lot of comfort in some streamers. that was because we were going through a rough time
alters will split for lots of reasons, even multiple at once, but it is mostly due to stress and trauma
im going to backtrack a little more to 2017/2018 when we first found out we were a system. we learned about it through a new friend of ours who was ALSO a system and it caused us to research it for ourselves. we didnt think it fit us at first, but things started fitting together and blah blah blah here we are today with excellent internal communication. a LOT of people found out they were systems at that time, because of the wave of education going on. dissociative disorders arent talked about in mainstream medias, school or even just daily life so this was the very first time lots of people were hearing about it. sound familiar? ill come back to this.
2020 was a very rough year for ALL of us, and im sure it affected more peoples home lives than just ours. it wouldnt be unusual in the slightest for these kids going through stressful events to take comfort or seek protection in these streamers characters, or even the streamers themselves.
it just so happened that the wave of system education on a more popular site like tiktok was happening around the same time. a popular site = information reaching more people. it gave some kids insight on how their own brain might be working, and they were researching it for themselves to see if it was true. some people might have been shocked, some people might have been happy to learn that this was why theyve suffered from these symptoms like breaks in memory. those people who were thankful for realizing it might have taken on the system identity very quickly, too quickly for others to realize what was going on and led to the conclusion that it just "cropped up out of nowhere".
so these kids going through stressful, worldwide events, having just found out that due to PAST traumas in their life that they are part of a system, are taking comfort in these roleplaying streamers. just because it was a popular media at the time doesnt mean it couldnt have affected people like this. do you understand what im saying. its very easy to seek protection from someone like technoblade or nikis character, or relate to ranboos character.
splitting differs from system to system. it can come with painful headaches, and it could take a very long or short time. for us, its painless enough to ignore, but takes a while. quick splitting could lead to fakeclaimers saying "alters cant just pop up out of nowhere!!!" but they could split quickly, if you are currently going through something stressful enough
the stress needed to split is subjective as well, and to a younger teenage child it could be less than your idea of stress at your grown age.
fakeclaimers also tend to say "well if you were really a system my words wouldnt affect you this much" but thats not necessarily accurate. they do affect people, they affect all systems. they support stigmas surrounding the disorder and make it harder for them to go away. it makes it harder for people to get diagnosed who have that privilege, it makes it harder for systems to find safe spaces, and its one of the most harmful things that could happen to any system on the internet.
the thought of "what if im faking" within the system is also common, not even just with systems but anyone with an invisible disorder, but i believe thats been covered by multiple other creators before so i wont talk about it too much. look it up if youre interested.
"but what about the people who have admitted theyre faking!" good on them for owning up to it! faking anything to fit in, but especially faking a DISORDER to fit in takes effort, and the attention seeking is a sign that something could have been wrong in the first place. so why would i judge them for it? yeah, it wasnt a good thing to do and could have harmed more than being harmless but in the end they admitted it, and everybody can go on with their day.
overall just be kind to any system you come across, whether theyre still "cringy", or they have mcyt alters, or any introject from a popular media. you dont know their life, its not your business and you shouldnt care so fucking much. go outside and feel the warmth of the sun and realize that it doesnt affect you at all. its not hurting anyone. the only one hurting the community youre "trying to help" is you.
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shadowstarion · 3 months
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okay but what if astarion shadowheart karlach gale wyll poly. i never get laezel or minthara so idk enough about them to analyze so imma just focus on my Main Camp Team. this gets very nsfw toward the end because i’m ill and i want them all to fuck!
the insane potential for an incredible number of love triangles. it starts with astarion and shadowheart, because he assumes the amnesiac will be the most naive/easy to influence. they pick up gale and astarion finds him annoying while shadowheart finds him sweet and useful to the mission. of course astarion starts trying to compete with and outsmart gale, which just creates an insane amount of sexual tension.
then karlach joins in and shadowheart is immediately smitten with her, leaving gale and astarion to let that sexual tension come to a climax or two. shadowheart, literally conditioned to be non-monogamous is all for it and pouts about not being invited until gale realizes that Oh. Oh. This is a thing that was happening…? well, he can’t blame astarion for liking her, and she’s much sweeter and substantially less threatening than the Girl He Has Feelings For that gale brings to the table.
karlach is a hard one because she is actually insanely monogamous and would be happiest only with shadowheart, trying to ignore the fact that her girl had other partners because she’d never deny her happiness like that. then i think once astarion and gale opened up a bit about their experiences and conditions karlach would really start developing a connection with them that would eventually bleed over into something a little more. she’s used to warming shadowheart up at night, what difference does one more shivering elf at her side make? gale is her fucking bomb bro till the end and he’s super smart and explains stuff to her she doesn’t understand without making her feel stupid.
then we add wyll to the mix. the literal actual genuine knight in shining armor of astarion and shadowheart’s dreams, so kind and honorable and hot they’re down bad. the way wyll suffers under mizora but doesn’t regret his pact with her wins over gale’s sympathy immediately and of course, wyll’s sacrifice to protect karlach gets her right in the infernal engine too.
as for specific small group dynamics ive already gone crazy about shadowheart astarion and karlach so we’ll skip over them for now.
gale -> astarion <- wyll is simultaneously “i want that twink obliterated” and “oh my god you poor injured little stray cat let me nurse you back to health”. very big on the unpacking trauma and having Man Therapy Time that leads to astarion and gale both crying into wyll’s very muscular shoulders
wyll -> shadowheart <- karlach is the knight x princess trapped in a tower x dragon dynamic but the princess and dragon are in love and the knight is an awkward blushing mess who is super into this. i know karlach and shadowheart have some freaky sex so anything with with them would be be BDSM Bootcamp for wyll
shadowheart -> gale <- karlach is fuck your ugly ex you didn’t deserve that, that is NOT love, let us show you how it’s done. they’d also recognize and encourage that little spark of femininity that pops up in gale from time to time and definitely indulge him in it. he’s also an extremely perceptive chatterbox, so honestly i think he’d be the third member of the gossip girl trio over astarion who isn’t quite so analytical
astarion -> shadowheart <- gale is soooo much jealousy competition for shadowheart’s attention but gale is completely oblivious to it. shadowheart adores the concept of being bickered over and feeds into it just a little bit to see astarion squirm. i am a shadowheart fujoshi truther and watching astarion and gale go at it is definitely her cup of tea.
wyll -> astarion <- shadowheart is purely “if anything happens to me, i know you’ll be here to take care of him”. now, put shadowheart in the middle and it’s herding dog x lamb x wolf dynamic all the way. very much the angel and devil on shadowheart’s shoulder when it comes to everything
a really fun one is wyll and karlach + shadowheart and astarion. this i feel would be mostly sexual because what says masc/butch best bros solidarity like topping your respective pretty twink/femme partners together? especially with shadowstar sandwiched between them and kissing like their lives depend on it.
also, there is absolutely some gangbangery happening but they’re very specific about it. if shadowheart is in the middle it’s insanely rough and degrading and pushing her to and sometimes past all her limits with her prior consent of course. she’s definitely into eroticizing her memory loss and getting fucked completely brainless, letting go of all her worries, having everything replaced with love and pleasure and pain that feels sooo so good…
very rarely astarion is in the middle but it’s the complete opposite. they’re all there to love on him, to make him feel good, to make him feel safe and secure. very slow and gentle and at his pace, taking turns touching him and getting him off and completely overstimulating him. someone’s got him held in their arms the entire time, usually karlach or wyll, shadowheart running concentration on his thoughts in case something goes too far and he can’t communicate it. praising him, telling him how good he is, how much he deserves all this love and adoration, etc, helping him completely rewrite the thousands of degrading and harmful sexual encounters he’s had little by little
idk what the opposite of a gangbang is but karlach is just an absolute stamina monster and will sometimes do a bit of circulating because she just can’t fall asleep or she’s too wound up or shadowheart knocked out immediately and she’s sexually frustrated. no one can resist her puppy dog eyes and so she ends up riding wyll into the ground, swapping head with astarion, and having some freaky wizard sex with gale that keeps her going until she’s too exhausted to move
im like chemically addicted to group poly at this point and i will forever be sad you can’t really even do a throuple in-game. however, a girl can dream!
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devils-queen · 7 months
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Hey Im the guy who went on a rant about religion and autonomy who you told to watch the Stephen Fry video. I dont know if you meant it to be actual advice or just sarcasm but either way, thank you. Im serious, thank you. I dont agree with some of the things the guy said but quite a few things he mentioned actually got me thinking about stuff. I dont wanna bore you with my entire thought process, and I can tell you’re probably not the kind of person who likes long talks about this kind of stuff (I dont blame you I wouldnt like it if some anonymous stranger started talking about this kind of stuff to me). I still believe in God and all that but the video showed me a new perspective. I still think God is an artist, but Im starting to think he’s more like a writer. Writers may like the characters they write, but that won’t factor into how they write them. Writers don’t care if they’re characters suffer because its all for the sake of a story. Of course it makes no sense that God wants us to worship and praise him, because maybe we’ve been thinking about this all wrong. Maybe praying is just letting the characters have a small say in what happens to the narrative. Maybe the flood was just God retconning his previous narrative. Maybe heaven and hell are just metaphors for happy and bad endings. Maybe we should stop judging other people, condemning the way they live life and see themselves because what really matters is if we were the kind of person who deserves a happy ending. OR MAYBE IVE BEEN READING TOO MUCH WRITING ADVICE ON THIS SITE AND HAVEN’T BEEN SLEEPING ENOUGH WHO KNOWS.
But again, don’t wanna get too into that stuff, I just wanted to say thanks for showing that to me, it genuinely changed a few things about how I view stuff. I was honestly half expecting to either be ignored or made fun of. It means a lot in a weird way that you bothered to respond, and didn’t instantly rip me a new one for my delusions. And sorry about having a religious awakening all over your carpet, thats hard to get out even with bleach. Have a nice day and may all your endings be happy.
I was being genuine when I sent it. It's my pov basically.
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taikk0 · 1 year
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im crying ive been lurking your blog today after being curious enough to check your tumblr after constant watching of your videos on youtube and always thought how professional and clean your animations look and thought you were like oh idk 20+
then i stumble a post of you saying you're 15 and i 😭 💗 WHAT DO YOU USE TO ANIMATE PLEASE ANY TIPS FOR LIL OL 19 YR OLD THATS CURRENTLY NOT GOING TO COLLEGE BECAUSE OF WORK AND WANTING TO PRACTICE MY CRAFT BEFORE GOING AT IT *kneels and slowly merges with floor like melted plastic*
THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE I'VE MET WHO THOUGHT I WAS 20 IS SO FUNNY IM SORRY IM FR JUST BLENDING IN WITH ALL THESE TAX-PAYING CITIZENS LIKE IM OUT HERE IN A BUSINESS SUIT GOING "HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW ADULTS" AT THIS POINT
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but fr tho I'm flattered I can't believe someone would assume I'm at that level already 5 years in advance thank you 😭😭
as for what I use to animate I use Krita!! here is a tutorial I used to learn how to set it up + how Krita's animation feature worked:
youtube
Though this tutorial covers a lot of useful information and an animation tutorial, I do urge you to learn about the software itself in your own time. (VERY IMPORTANT TIP: if you don't understand how something works, or if you want to do something in the program but have no idea how regarding the tools it has to offer, it doesn't hurt to do your own research! I learned that the hard way unfortunately, and I hope other artists don't suffer the same fate. REMEMBER! DON'T BE AFRAID TO GOOGLE!)
and with animation tips I do have a few things I'd be happy to share
I made this playlist to help my boyfriend get into animation. What's special about this playlist is that I made it not just about how to make individual drawings move, but also videos that explain how and why individual design philosophies and decisions are made and how you can learn to use them to your advantage. I also added some videos in here that cover shot composition and storyboarding, since I figured that most animators strive for skill in more than one field. This playlist is still a work in progress and I'm obviously bound to add more in the future, but just know that most of the videos put on here are either videos that I think are REALLY helpful as an animator who wishes they had that kind of help in their beginner years, or videos that DID help me in my beginner years way back when.
The playlist is a bit short but quality over quantity amirite? Next up is a playlist that helped spark my love for animation and pushed me to pursue it myself: the Skribble Kibble series!
Not everything in this playlist is an animation tutorial, but I highly recommend it for someone with an untrained eye. This series has inspired me not only because it covered animation; a medium that I was already interested in, but also awakened my love for analysis when it came to visual mediums. what it does great, what it does poorly, what makes something unique, and what makes something the way that it is, and explaining WHY.
Animation Tip : Learn to observe! not just in life, but in other animated media as well. ask yourself questions, and break things down. try it out yourself and experiment! heck, go frame by frame if you have to! learn to learn!
which brings me to my next source: FramebyFrame
This account has been AMAZING. It's informative and presents visual guides. It's a great place to start when you want to train yourself to analyze animation in the moment. I always think of it as some sort of game, They always play the animation first before they show the breakdown, try to spot as many cool animation tricks as you can, and see how many are mentioned! They also recently did a breakdown on RotTMNT which I find to be super neat :]
Mikyomix's Personal Animator Tips (Great or Unhelpful? You Decide!):
wanted to make this it's own section because I had no idea how to properly fit this all in so it goes in here
Study first! I know this sounds super lame but I promise you it will save you so much suffering. It's better to already have a grasp on animation and its fundamentals before you actually start animating. I've gone into the pitfall of having really crap animation skills, feeling bad over it not looking right, going into a pit spiral of self-doubt, while simultaneously not putting in the effort to learn why it didn't look right and how to fix it. It took me a good while to sit down and actually learn everything before I officially started and had more confidence in myself to fix my mistakes and learn from past projects. I already mentioned it earlier, but again, don't be afraid to take notes and whatever information you find to be useful!
Pick your animated projects wisely! Listen, I know it's tempting to do that music video you always dreamed about with your not-so-simply-designed OC. But personally, I advise steering away from large-scale projects and animations that require more than your current skill level if you're a beginner. I know it sounds harsh, and I'm not telling you to give up on your dreams or anything, but just know that animations like that might be more than you bargained for, and could result in burnout and a final product you might not be proud of. You could easily tire yourself out if you're a beginner learning as you go, and I understand that many people actually advise it for the learning experience, but in my personal experience, it didn't really end well. LOTS of unfinished projects, time sunken in on something that I no longer wanted to finish, bad memories associated with the project, etc. Of course, everyone is different and you might not experience the same things I did, but just be aware of the cons. Instead, I highly recommend you-
-Design and create at your own personal convenience! If you're a beginner, I advise you to go simple. I know not everyone is interested in the bouncing ball or the flour sack, but there's no rulebook that says you're prohibited from designing a simple character to animate! Not everyone starts out the same way, and that's completely valid, I first started animating my furry OC's and I'm sure other young animators started in a similar way, animating the things they want! though there was one thing that I did keep in mind, and that was I designed my OC's to be easy to draw over and over again. easier for me to animate, and easier for me to draw them consistently. So if you're first starting out, don't be afraid to simplify! remove minute details if you have to. You can figure it out later no pressure! Just animate things because you want to, not because you have to. and that includes the tiny details that would be difficult to keep track of as a beginner. This is a bit of a smaller point that didn't need its own thing, but while you're at it, learn effective character design! not just for aesthetics and narrative purpose, but also for functionality.
Remember that you are not obligated to practice the old-fashioned way! Not everyone finds animation exercises fun, and that's okay. But whatever you choose to do, putting everything you learned into practice, IT STILL COUNTS AS PRACTICE. Every little animation you make counts no matter how short or unfinished it is, and your efforts deserve to be praised. why? because you're learning little by little and it is still very valuable! despite how small and minute or large and noticeable the improvement in animation quality is, you're still making strides in learning to be a better animator than you were before. Don't listen to what those old geezers say, you do you! animation is supposed to be a labor of love and passion. and being forced to do something under the obligation that its "industry standard" is frankly, baloney.
Animation Stuff (THE JUICE.): shorter stuff that also deserves their own section
12 FPS is great for beginners
Ease-in's and ease-out's are your BEST FRIEND
Timing Charts. you might not be inclined to write them properly, but it's useful if you're jotting things down. use them.
PLEASE. LOCK YOUR LAYERS WITH FINISHED ANIMATION WHEN YOU DON'T INTEND ON TOUCHING THEM FOR A WHILE AND YOU'RE WORKING ON A SEPARATE THING ON THE SAME PROJECT. I'VE LOST. SO MUCH...
Don't be afraid to mix tweeting with frame-by-frame. Sleepykinq tweening isn't the only form of tweening + tweening is great if you want to keep something consistent. Though if you want to go frame-by-frame with the convenience of tweening but without the visual integrity of tweening, tween on one layer as a guide and animate on top, so it's still frame-by-frame.
Unlimited layers? use them. Is a certain part of rough inbetweening giving you trouble? make another layer and animate it on there if you don't want to mess with the main roughs, then merge it down.
More frames does not equal smoother animation, it risks making it look slower. work with the FPS, not against it
Name your layers. save the tears.
Anyways, PHEW that was long. Sorry about that, I just have a lot to say about animation. I'm not NEARLY qualified enough to actually teach animation, nor am I linguistically intelligent enough to get the points I want across (I think). But I really hope that you and a few other people found this to be helpful.
I wish you the best of luck ^^
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penguin--rat · 7 months
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woo!! more of them!! im rotating this au around in my mind SO much you don't even know
i'm not sure if i'm happy with the character assignments - katya definetely has changeling vibes, and, sergei sorta fits the haruspex !! but i wasn't at all sure who i was gonna assign to be the bachelor. but, yura sorta fits, plus he's the protag of pafl, and, he Is the prickly prick that will bury us all!!
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i was actually thinking sooo much about character assignments i made this lol
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i was out of it when making it .. forgive me for my inaccuracies .. if i could redo it, i would, and i Can, but, i dont want to. since ive already assigned them chars.
more about bachelor!yura: he's not a full bachelor in this au, really. he's studying to become one !! like daniil, he's interested in Immortality and all that jazz. part of thanatica, but didn't create it. somewhat of a prodigy, sorta.. he's sent out to town on gorkhon only to interview isidor, nothing more. the plague still happens though, and, even though yura's not a certified doctor, he's better suited for dealing with it than most of the town. he's much more laid back than daniil, also. a bit snarky hehe. he Knows that the plague is dangerous, and that he might die, of all his terrible circumstances. he still tries to make the vaccine. he's not nice by any means, no, but he does try to maintain a 'chill' vibe. he is not always sucessfull.. but, that's life for ya!
haruspex!sergei .. i have not thought about him much yet, to be honest. i was certain i'd make him take the bachelorelors role at one point. i also got the idea of having sergei and yura Both take the bachelor's lore! yura as sergei's understudy, following him around. honestly i do like this idea still, but, i'm gonna be fully honest - i didn't wanna make a design for understudy yura. yea i could have just like, modified sergeis a bit. but i didnt wanna ‼️
haruspex's role also underwent some thinking. at first, i thought that olya fit - she does! she fits well! but also i like sergei's unwillingless to think about his emotions for even one second and i thought that was neat. when i was thinking over bachelor!sergei, i thought that haruspex!dmitry would be neat and also funny. imagine sergei coming to this town to interrogate The Great and Immortal tatiana temnova. but she dies. and then a plague breaks out and his only 'colleagues' are these two kids that fucking hate him. cool dynamics
speaking of dynamics! thats a big part as to why i had a hard time choosing characters for the roles! if i had made olya take on haruspex's role, bachelor!yura wouldnt really work, i think, not to the extent that i'd like it to. bachelor!sergei Could have worked, but i don't think there'd be enough conflict, really.. i think they'd have a much easier time working together than with yura.
i've never doubted katyas role, though. she's perfect. she detests trickery. but if we ourselves are to suffer deception. then our hands are no longer tied. her character is about what you'd expect. she stays silly throughout it all. . i dont actually know That Much about the changeling's route. but i like her:) and i like katya. so. that's what ya get!
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killersnarl · 6 months
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okokok as someone who is starting to collect facts to write a 9fic, i have a question
you've mentioned he sounds like corpsehusband a while back, if i remember correctly
would 9 do the iconic "whaddup baby" line if asked, for shits and giggles?
// yes cause tbh that’s just how he talks normally, he talks super casual no matter who he’s talking too. only exception is his weird biblical monologues when he’s being a freak
i have all this stuff linked in the carrd and i think ive posted this before, but i compiled some nine writing info for my friends a while back and i figured it could be useful to you guys if you haven’t seen it already :3 under the cut (there’s also my list of nine mannerisms i posted a little while ago, and i posted some notes on his accent if it’s ever relevant lol)
i think part of the difficulty that comes with writing nine is due to his characteristic unpredictability. that’s why he’s so fickle to deal with, as a character and as a person. his characterization is complex. even though he’s unpredictable in behavior, there’s some things integral to his personality that can probably help figure out what he’s going to do. the hard part is, to other people, he’s an enigma.
something you’ll find in nines behavior along the line is that it’s contradictory. humans are contradictory. he doesn’t know what he wants.
he’s very nice, i can say that. as long as you’re not a target, he’s a sweetheart. he’s nice even if he’s terrorizing you, sometimes. if they know what he is, a lot of people will have a very hard time with his attitude. they seem to think it’s all a ruse, a trap, but the truth is he’s just being honest. he doesn’t care enough to be a dick. he doesn’t care about you enough to be rude to you. being mean takes energy away from him. it’s much easier for him to be politely apathetic. it’s in his nature to be kind to others, even in his own twisted way. he shows basic regards to everyone without being super enthusiastic.
part of that shows in how he treats employees in places, i think. he rarely ever causes trouble in stores, unless it happens to be a place of target practice. he always pays for things, leaves tips, he’s not very partial to stealing. that being said, he definitely gets things for free a lot of the time. he’s huge and scary.
nine is pretty chipper for someone who hates himself and his life and thinks he’s a horrible person (he is). you’ll barely ever catch him moping around. he only mopes when he’s alone and even then he doesn’t do it much, he hates moping. he’s in constant emotional (and physical) pain and he has been for so long to the point that comfort makes him uncomfortable. he’s extremely comfortable in his suffering. he pushes away things he likes, people he likes, because he’s not used to feeling that happiness, and he doesn’t want to feel that happiness.
he’s hypocritical about it too. he hates happiness and being unhappy makes him happy. sometimes he’ll make himself happy on purpose just to make himself uncomfortable. it’s a paradox.
he does take time to entertain himself sometimes, even though he hates admitting it. he usually doesn’t even realize it’s making him happy, which is why he immediately stops what he’s doing when it finally comes to him. he’ll stick around with people if he can, people that he likes watching. he likes watching how people behave, making comments about it, irritating them about it. that’s just his way of making friends. tell him about your interests, life story, favorite memories. he loves hearing about other people because it means there’s less space for him to fill up about himself.
he doesn’t like talking about himself. if asked, he’s usually pretty cryptic. he puts his whole life simply, more simple than it is. simple so you won’t ask questions. simple so he doesn’t have to think about it too hard. some people would probably see this as being humble, and he is humble, humble to the point of hatred.
he hates himself very thoroughly but that doesn’t stop him from making jokes. he’s a flirt, as everyone knows. very into teasing people about having crushes on him (which works, because they either do or they will.) people might take this as self confidence or arrogance, it’s anything but. he just likes reactions.
i think a lot of people might see him as careless. and he is, at least a little bit. he’s not careless as in sloppy, but careless as in nonchalant. he’s extremely nonchalant. some people might even find it annoying. nothing spooks him, nothing worries him, nothing excites him. nothing you know about, at least, nothing you’ll ever know about. he’s always calm and casual, and he never wipes that lazy smile off his face.
nine likes feigning things. not because he’s dishonest, but because he likes making jokes, he likes being entertaining. you’ll never really scare him, but he’ll give you a delayed gasp and hand over his heart just to irritate you. you’ll never really make him angry, but he’ll give you a sudden outburst if he thinks you need to be scared back into your place, and quickly laugh when you jump. it never seems like he’s being serious. he’s always joking, he’s always lighthearted. you’ll know when he’s being serious.
something that was a LOT more apparent when he was an older teenager, he can be protective. he’s very aware that most people are weaker than him, he’s been aware of that for a while now, and he’s learned to take advantage of that. when he was younger he was almost like a communal bodyguard. wherever he was, nine was the protector of whoever was there, and they all knew that. he used to equally see himself as a protector and a punisher, but now he’s just a punisher. at least he thinks so. now protection is somewhat of a habit. he’ll put himself between you and a stranger, block someone off with an arm, tell you to walk on the inside of him on the sidewalk, make you walk close in front of him in unfamiliar places.
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I, the poll runner, made this poll because they suck that much
Why Mileven is shit - a submission-based essay, part 3/3
Mileven - a currently canon het ship from the Stranger Things fandom between Michael (Mike) Wheeler and Jane (Eleven) Ives/Hopper/Byers/IDK
This doesn't mean she will never have another relationship, it doesn't even mean she is "alone" while other people are in relationships (although personally I think there is nothing wrong with not being in a relationship tbh... some people need to unpack this). It just means that she reclaims the power to decide if and when she will give love to someone again, a choice she's never really had. As for Mike, I believe his low self-esteem and what makes him feel so different is his feelings for Will which have steadily stepped out of platonic more and more as time has gone on, and THAT is the truth that is hard to admit, not his apparent love for El that she has been begging for him to say. Mike and Will are written so perfectly as a romantic duo that it is wild to me that anyone would ship Mike with anyone else. Mike deserves more than to be a shitty friend and El's boyfriend (because if he really does just love El, then his actions are just him being mean and weird with no cause or explanation, which I can't imagine is the case), Will deserves more than to be the sad gay in unrequited love who only suffers, and El deserves more than to be some boy's "superhero" who is loved for what she can do more than for who she truly is. She deserves to shake the shackles of male control, and yes... Mike unfortunately falls into this due to his feeling responsible for El's wellbeing because of the unfortunate circumstances they met under. Plus he's, in my opinion, fallen even harden into this parentified role in Hopper's absence (those parallels are insane too, don't even get me started). Anyway, all that to say... Mileven is an objectively bad ship that doesn't fit with the story Stranger Things is telling. It doesn't serve any of the characters involved in a positive way, and Byler is a significantly more touching and well-built couple. Personally, even the argument that El will be "crushed if they break up" doesn't really carry any weight. It's clear that she has already hurt so much IN THE RELATIONSHIP, so ending it just seems like the logical next step (and I'm among the people who believe she wanted to break up at the pizza place tbh). Why should she stay with someone who can only love her in life-or-death situations? Why should Mike be with someone who makes him feel worthless or not enough or like his personal experiences and struggles aren't valid? Why should Mike and El settle for a relationship that takes so much work but makes them both ultimately unhappy (it's giving Karen a d Ted). Why should Will just accept that in a world of demogorgans and alternate dimensions and telekinetic lab children, the craziest and most unlikely thing is a queer boy like him finding requited love with the person who makes them feel better for being different and encourages them to fight on? I just don't think the writers are telling that kind of story. I love El, Mike, and Will... I hope they will get a beautiful ending. To me, a beautiful ending would include Mike and El mutually caring for each other enough to admit that their relationship is not good for either of them as El deserves to be loved and needs time to heal, and Mike deserves to embrace his truth and his own feelings without feeling insignificant or unlovable (and ultimately be rewarded for embodying one of the show's core themes: that forced conformity is bad, you will never feel gratification or happiness by pretending to be something or someone you're not, it's okay to be a "freak" and it's okay to be different and to rebel against the limited, restrictive forms of "happiness" society pushes. After all, forced conformity is one of the real villains in this show, as clearly stated!)
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veeranger · 10 months
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Vee’s Steam Summer Sale 2023 Recommendations
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as always these are just personal opinions etc etc please look up some real reviews before buying a game if you aren’t sure and remember that steam will give you a full refund if you have less than 2 hours played in under 2 weeks.
im going to try to recc stuff i havent shilled every 6 months for the last 5 years but the VNs are going to be the same as always honestly
Fighting Games
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Guilty Gear -Strive- Ultimate Edition 2022 ($55.99)
yes im specifically saying buy ultimate edition because it has all the dlc as of this writing. buy the base version if you want but i hate playing fighting games with incomplete rosters.
anyway this is my favorite fighting game, bar none. this is the game that after years of screwing around on a bunch of other games finally got me to really want to get better and actually play against other people. there’s a super active playerbase and at least another year of support from arcsys on the way. the best time to start playing strive was a year ago but the second best time is right now.
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Idol Showdown (Free)
yes im shilling a free game here. idol showdown is a good fighting game and the result of like three years of hard work from a small team. try it out and give them some love
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Nitroplus Blasterz: Heroines Infinite Duel ($4.99)
this is not a good game but it is a funny game. saber is in it.
Narrative Games
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AI: The Somnium Files - $7.99
one of the finest mystery games you can play imo. maybe uchikoshi’s best work. a perfect blend of mystery, character, and style. every character and conversation is compelling in its own way and every little thing builds up to the huge moments which makes them all feel totally earned. as always uchikoshi is a genius in the way he blends his signature branching timeline style with the themes and core concepts of the game. the twists and turns this game goes down are so crazy that weeks later you’ll still be realizing how all the little things you thought were just quirks were actually foreshadowing. cannot recc this enough tbh.
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Zero Escape: The Nonary Games - $11.99
another uchikoshi joint, also extremely good. ive only finished 999, the first game in this collection, but i can recc it just based on the strength of that alone. whereas somnium is a murder mystery, 999 is a visual novel about being trapped in a murder game interspliced with escape room segments. whatever you think you know you dont, 999 will take you down so many twists and turns you’ll be fucking dizzy when you’re done with it. big recc.
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VA-11 HALL-A: Cyberpunk Bartender Action - $10.04
i could probably talk about this game for as long as the others, even though its way way less complex. va-11 hall-a doesnt have a huge sweeping story with insane twists and massive reveals, but what it does have is an extremely personal narrative about loss, healing, and just living your life the best way you can in a horrible dystopian world. the cast of characters feel utterly real and you learn about the world they inhabit through interactions with them, rather than being infodumped by exposition. everyone has their own story and everyone is just trying to get by, including you. one of the best small scale personal narrative games ive ever played.
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Night In The Woods - $9.99
another vn i would consider “small scale” but equally as impactful. nitw is a story about a disillusioned and struggling college drop out returning to her economically declining home town. nobody is secure, nobody is happy, everyone is suffering through their daily lives. you follow mae as she struggled to readjust to her childhood home and the people she left behind. until something happens that changes her priorities radically. all ill say. despite how i just made it sound, nitw is not all depressing. theres lighthearted moments and wacky days to cut through the bleak fog, as well as genuinely heartfelt moments that feel very earned. nitw is a game i think that everyone struggling through their 20s should play.
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Grim Fandango Remastered ($3.79)
i know this is an old school adventure game and you might yell at me for sort of grouping it in with the VNs but i dont care. its a classic, its a beautiful game, everyone should play it. its old, it controls like shit, the puzzles are obtuse, but the experience is wonderful and memorable. its cheap as hell just go for it.
Action
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Assault Spy ($4.99)
this goofy ass game is fun as hell. its a very dmc style character action with upgrades and moves to buy, and it actually has a pretty goddamn good mechanical system in place. the gameplay loop rules. only warning is this is not well optimized so watch your computer doesnt explode.
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Marvel’s Spider-Man Remastered ($40.19)
i shouldn’t even have to shill. a must play for any spider-man fan. one the best spider-man stories ever hands down. such an incredible experience seriously. i cant even say enough here, if you haven’t played this yet you should do it asap.
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Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales ($33.49)
everything i just said for the first game goes here too. a MUST play for miles morales fans. the combat is even better than the first too. you won’t regret playing this trust me.
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Marvel’s Avengers - The Definitive Edition ($5.99)
no i’m not joking. ok well i kind of am but this game is getting delisted in september. it is an unforgivably mid piece of shit but if you have an interest in game preservation or playing something so bad they’re killing it forever, well here it is. they made all the microtransactions free btw.
Others
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Tinykin ($13.75)
its like pikmin but its legally distinct! i like this game a lot, it has a very cute art style and its got easy to enjoy gameplay. i find it very relaxing. there’s a demo.
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System Shock 2 ($2.49)
i will never stop shilling this game. fucking play it. its a cornerstone of video games. one of the most influential pieces ever put to pixel. you owe it to yourself to experience this if you feel any interest in it. maybe read a guide though its unforgiving if you screw around with your build.
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Dead Space [2023] ($41.99)
exceptionally good. i dont have to shill the old shitty pc port of the original anymore. an A+ remake, i think it improves on the original in every conceivable way.
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Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night ($11.99)
such a goddamn good metroidvania. its almost like the platonic ideal of a castlevania game. a true spiritual successor to SOTN. this isnt your dime a dozen soulslike vania, this is a true vania game in the best original style made by basically one of the core founders of the genre.
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STAR WARS™ Knights of the Old Republic™ II - The Sith Lords™ ($3.49)
its a fuckin classic rpg. one of the best of the era. get it on pc so you can get that extended content mod they promised to import to the console version and then cancelled.
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Save Room - Organization Puzzle ($2.09)
this is just a cute puzzle game. i like it.
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yuukei-yikes · 1 year
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shintaro and kanos toxic relationship can be something so deeply appealing because of how horrible they are for each other. like. kano having to analyze his actual emotions towards shintaro and shintaro also finally giving in to the im bisexual crisis and also dude youre aware thats your dead girlfriend’s little brother right? also something something kano getting upset with shintaro and using his eye powers to turn into ayano just to hurt him. theyre unhealthy. they make me absolutely insane ok sorry if this was unintelligible in ur inbox lmao
RIGHT but ALSO IT COULD EVENTUALLY TURN INTO SOMETHING HEALTHY... like ofc a lot of clownery has to go on before and that clownery is so so so so so so much fun to explore. but i do think they're capable of getting to a point of a peaceful relationship despite it involves mutual compliance/resignation with both each other and themselves that leads to WOW eventual happiness and contentment with each other. it gets to a point where they aren't together out of their own gratification but bc they LIKE EACH OTHER AS PEOPLE AND YEAH THEY ALWAYS DID BUT THEY NEVER LIKED EACH OTHER MORE THAN THEY RESENTED EACH OTHER BUT NOW THEY DONT RESENT IT THEY JUST LIKE EACH OTHER AND THATS ENOUGH(holds head) bc "well i guess we deserve each other" and it is still sad but...not so much?? idk if that makes sense. but like... Healthy peaceful kanoshin (explodes) like they're arguing and getting all on each other's faces and the Dan's like can u stop fighting and theyre like ?? that's just how we talk though we arent fighting? and they rly arent. ppl who have never been in a loving relationship (not necessarily romantic by the way) with this dynamic wont understand but it IS possible. *shakes you*
idk ive read some stuff where they're so tooth rottingly sweet to each other and i just can't see it💔 i think they can have rare tender moments ofc and they DO but then both act super awkward despite they're in a relationship LOL like they can have 1 tender moment then turn around and just sit there holding hands and awkwardly scrolling on their phones idk idk idk (goes crazy) or they just tease each other abt it or whatever. i think they both rather show affection physically rather than verbally?? i think kanos super touchy. shintaros like do u have to sit here (shot of the completely empty couch aside from shintaro sitting on the edge and kano pressed right beside him) and kano's like wdym. kano's always with an arm around him even if hes shorter. hehe. its so normal shintaro gets used to it so kano just casually throws himself on his lap and shintaro's just like lifting his arms to give him space and never looks away from his phone *destroys all my pillows shaking them like a dog*
not me getting into love language territory. sorry. whatever. idk what all of them even are i think there is 5 but kanoshin is NOT words of affirmation. i think both want them but can't handle hearing it. like yeah they flirt (it IS cringe) but man idk i just cant imagine them being super outwardly sweet to each other... like their flirting is super cringe its the oh REAAAALLY?? kind of flirting not HEHE... kind. DO U UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING OR AM I INSANE
sorry u sent an ask abt toxic kanoshin and i answered with fluff THATS NOT TO SAY UR WRONG. UR TOTALLY RIGHT. BUT I THINK THEY CAN GET TO A GOOD POINT TOGETHER AFTER A LONG CIRCUS MOMENT i just felt bad i kept using them as punching bags everytime i talked abt them... and they are both so capable of love. they are so capable of love that is why they suffer like they do(holds head) they deserve to flirt and be silly i think. tender kanoshin *world explosion*
BTW u mentioned dead ayano. dont get me started on dead or alive ayano for str thats another subject (quickly: dead ayano is a more meaningful end but AYANO I LOVE YOU so i always keep her alive in my post str stuff) kanoshin can work even if ayano lives‼️‼️‼️ ALSO COME ON THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH FUNNIER
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eulchu · 9 months
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and it's so fucking crazy that some of you treat blogs as if we're ccs. we're held to insanely high standards and if you don't like what you see or if you think we're wrong some of you harass us for days and threaten us to come to our house to do awful fucking things to us. we're just fucking fans none of us want the attention. we just want to be part of a stupid fucking community.
i asked people to dial down the hate and the bait and every single time i don't post flowers and happiness it gets thrown back on my face because "and you were crying for people to stop being so negative🤓". that post came from a moment of horrible tension in the fandom where i was seeing my friends genuinely suffer over this. when people were getting awful horrible things about the dteam. now i can't even hold a light and meme-y conversation about things that piss me off (yes!!im human!! people piss me off all the fucking time)
we started a stupid camp server from the bottom of our fucking hearts because we truly see the good in the fandom. because we wanted to build a place where people would interact with the content and each other in a positive light. because we truly believed it was doable, we've seen the love in this fandom countless of times. the very first day that server launched there were already people rooting for it to fail.
i suggest a second book, for the dteam this time, because i know it wouldn't hurt the dteam to hear some nice things. because the first one was so meaninful to dream. because i know a lot of people were so fucking happy that they got confirmation that their words matter, and i wanted that to happen again. and my friend gets asks about how i shouldn't be in it when i promote SA threats.
do any of you have any idea how awful it fucking feels to have everything i do get thrown in my face every time i do something one of you doesn't like. do you think it's fucking fair at all. because i don't.
im a meme and an overreacter and a stupid fucking bitch sometimes but holy shit every time ive messed up with someone ive fixed it. i dont deserve to be picked apart like this. every single project ive ever participated in every single word of encouragement and positivity i have meant it one hundred percent. every single time the conversation has turned from fun to dooming ive cut it straight up. every single time there's been mass panic ive tried to keep it clean and be reasonable about it - i already have enough anxiety for all of us, i don't need more people to have a rough time.
and what i get in exchange? genuine horrors. if you think you're better than me by sending me asks and wanting to hurt my feelings,i have news for you. you're a horrible fucking person. cope
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train-wrecc · 2 years
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Grow As We Go
niklaus mikaelson x human!female!reader
flangst!
summary: niklaus fears he will harm his child’s life by being in it, so he decides he must leave.
word count: 2.3k
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gc: unknown/google
a/n: i got a sudden burst of energy/inspiration? to write so i finished this draft that ive had for a while now.
also for anybody that followed me because of “alpha” i don’t think i’ll ever continue it, looking back at it, it was terrible and the whole plot was lacking and just no- haha, sorry. I tend to overcomplicate my plots/writing and then abandon them :/
& lastly idk how to work tumblr so if this post looks wonky that's my bad haha
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“Niklaus?” Y/n questioned the hybrid, as he stood in what she could only place as shock.
“Nik? Did you hear what I just said?” Y/n’s hand gently grasped Nik’s arm.
“Yes…” He responded very quietly, his gaze on the floor.
All eyes had been on Niklaus as everyone had been waiting for his reaction.
“Well, what do you think?” Y/n asked him as a laugh escaped her lips, revealing her nervousness. 
Klaus finally looked up, his eyes meeting Y/n’s as his eyebrows began to pull together.
“How is this possible? I’m a vampire, vampires cannot reproduce!” He exclaimed.
“You’re a hybrid, Niklaus, that’s how. Your werewolf gene allowed this, this miracle, to happen.” Elijah had responded as Y/n was taken back by Klaus's outburst.
“Are you positive?” He questioned.
“Listen.” Rebekah interrupted.
They remained silent, the vampires now being able to pick up the sound of not one but two heartbeats coming from Y/n, one being very faint. 
Niklaus let out a small unheard gasp, as a tear began forming in his eye however he quickly blinked it away.
“This is great, isn’t it? You’re gonna be a father Nik!” Rebekah said, a smile playing on everyone’s face except for one hybrid.
Y/n’s hands clasped Nik’s as she murmured his name.
He ripped his hands away from hers, “This is anything but great, Y/n! This is terrible! It’s a nightmare, how could this possibly be?” He muttered.
“W-what?” Y/n sputtered in confusion.
“I thought you’d be happy to be a father, Niklaus…” 
“How could you ever come to such a repulsive conclusion!?”
“That’s enough, Niklaus.” Elijah interrupted Niklaus through gritted teeth, knowing he was going to continue to say things that he knew he truly didn’t mean. 
“No, continue what you were going to say, Niklaus. I want to hear what you have to say about this supposed disgraceful situation.” Y/n spat out.
“I have nothing more to say. You mustn’t be pregnant. If you are, that child which you bear is not mine. I should have never gotten into this entanglement with you.” 
Niklaus knew his words would hurt Y/n, however, he thought this was for the better. She and her child, their child, would be better off without him. Y/n was human after all, bearing his child was enough of a burden for her. He never should’ve allowed himself to date her, however her presence intoxicated him and affected his ability to think straight. 
He had finally relaxed in her being, allowing himself to live in this fantasy of his. Where he and her could be happy. He knew their relationship would come to an end eventually. Whether it was by Y/n getting hurt and suffering at the hands of his enemies or by Niklaus, himself. He truly had never wanted to hurt her. But alas, Niklaus couldn't help it. He needed her to leave him. Her life is fragile as it is, and being with Klaus doubled that fragility. 
Klaus had thought about this moment. He didn’t think it would ever be possible but he had dreamed of it. He never thought his dream-turned-reality would end up being a nightmare. Because the one thing that remained constant in the back of his mind was that he ruined whatever he touched. As much as he didn’t want to admit to himself, he and his father were alike in many ways. Niklaus would never want to inflict any kind of hurt on his child. Which brought him back to the dilemma that he hadn’t had much time to ponder on. Try to live with Y/n in this fantasy of his and raise his child but unintentionally end up ruining them as his father did to him or leave Y/n. 
He was deep in his thoughts, only brought back to reality by the stinging sensation on the left side of his face caused by Rebekah’s hand. A sting which felt miniscule to the pain that was brought to him when he implied that his child was not his. Nothing in comparison to the thought of having to leave them. “How dare you utter such words of the mother of your child, Niklaus.” 
“I cannot fathom how you can imply such things, this child is yours, Klaus. How could you ever possibly think that Y/n would do such a thing-”
“It’s fine, Bekah. Let him think whatever he wishes to.” Y/n interrupted the enraged blonde, attempting to keep her voice steady and her tears at bay. She grabbed Rebekah’s wrist to hopefully restrain her from inflicting any more pain on Klaus, even if Klaus was stronger. 
No matter what Klaus did, Y/n would always love him and never wish harm upon him. He is the father of her child after all, and the love of her life. She knew as well as Elijah that Klaus did not mean what he said. She knew that he struggled to believe that he was more than a bastard child, that his siblings truly loved him, and that he didn't bring pain to everyone in his life. But with all his paranoia she couldn’t help but wonder if he truly thought that she could ever be unloyal to him. She had always defended him, no matter what he had done. She knew she shouldn’t but couldn’t help herself. As hard as she tried to keep from crying, it was just another thing to add to the list of things she couldn’t help but do. Loving Niklaus. Defending him at all costs. 
As soon as the tears began, they didn’t stop. It was all too much for Y/n. She knew he was doing this because he doubted his abilities to be a good father. But did he think that she didn’t doubt her ability to be a mother? To birth a child. If he thought that she would be able to raise their child on her own he was sorely mistaken. She needed him, as did her child, their child.
Y/n turned away not wanting Klaus to see her tear-stricken face. She didn’t want him to see how he had affected her. However, he already knew his affect on her and had already seen the tears streaming down her face. Niklaus had decided it was best he leave. He had already hurt Y/n enough, and he couldn't stand the fact that her tears were due to his words, his actions. 
Niklaus vampire-sped out of the compound. Leaving Y/n in a puddle of her own tears, his siblings trying to comfort her. Although, it wasn’t the same as the comfort that he brought her. Y/n knew Niklaus would return home, she believed in him. However, as the day turned to night the Mikaelson siblings began to let doubt creep into their minds, as per usual. But Y/n knew Klaus couldn't leave her. She knew the immense love that she felt for him, he reciprocated.
-
The next morning Y/n woke up due to feeling a pair of eyes boring into her. She sat up, rubbing her puffy eyes in an attempt to clear her slightly hazy vision. When her vision became clear her eyes were met with that of her lover’s beautiful blue eyes.
Niklaus couldn't take it any longer, he quickly sat down on their shared bed before embracing Y/n in a tight hug. She relaxed into the hug before they both let out small content sighs. Y/n clung to Klaus tightly for a few seconds but before anything more could be said, Y/n pulled away from the embrace. 
“Niklaus,” Y/n was only able to get his name out before Nik interrupted her.
“Y/n, please, just let me speak first.” He met her gaze, his eyes shining with tears.
Klaus took a breath before beginning, “I’m so sorry, Y/n, I-I never meant to hurt you, but I already have… forgive me. There wasn’t a single truth that came out of my mouth yesterday. I put all my insecurities on you, and that wasn’t right. I know that you would never betray me by lying with another, and I know that this child is mine. I’m scared, I’ll admit it. I’m worried that I’ll hurt this child the way my parents hurt me, the way they turned my siblings and me into these monsters. They ruined us and I do not want that for our child, so I thought it best that I leave, because I know that all this child would need in this world is you, Y/n. I know you’ll be a caring, loving mother. I just don’t know if I can be the father that our child deserves…”
“Niklaus, I know you. You would never harm our child. I don’t know how you could think that you ever would.”
“You don’t know that, Y/n. I am my father’s son after all.” 
“Niklaus, never compare yourself to Mikael, please. That man is a monster, who hurt you tremendously.”
“I am no better than Mikael, Y/n.” Klaus shook his head not being able to meet Y/n eye’s due to the disgust he felt with himself.
Y/n’s hand gently caressed Nik’s cheek, making him meet her gaze as well as attempting to comfort him. She knew that he was touch-starved and loved physical affection. 
“Niklaus you are a far better man than Mikael. Mikael physically and mentally abused you. When you saw Marcel being tortured by the hands of his father did you stand there and watch, allow it? No. You took him in and saved him from a life of slavery and abuse. You cannot sit here and tell me that you and Mikael are equal, I will not allow it.” Y/n gently told Niklaus.
His eyes met Y/n’s, “And I can’t allow you to stay with me Y/n. I can’t be a father. I won’t allow myself to hurt this child. Please, you have to understand that this is what is best for the child… I was somewhat a father before and I do not wish for this child to carry the same hate for me as Marcel.”
“Marcel does not hate you Niklaus! Yes, you may not see eye to eye on things, but you raised him and he loves you, believe it or not. Marcel is a strong leader, who fights for his family and for what he believes in, he is one of the most loyal people I’ve ever met. If our child turns out anything like him, I will be more than happy, Nik. And, I can’t do this without you Nik…” Y/n said as her voice began to break.
“I can’t carry this child alone for nine months. I can’t raise them without you, Nik, I don’t want to. I need you, our child needs you, to protect them from this cruel yet beautiful world.” Y/n said, tears beginning to cascade down her face as she sniffled in order to continue with her spiel.
Niklaus gently wiped her tears with his thumbs, “Please don’t cry, love. This is what’s necessary…”
“No, it’s not Niklaus! What’s necessary is you staying here with me and being the best father that you can be to our child.” Y/n said before a small cry escaped her lips. NIklaus’s hands found Y’n’s waist as he rubbed soothing motions there, in an attempt to calm her as her hands now clung to his shoulders.
“I know you’re not perfect, Nik, I’m aware of your past mistakes but I still love you. You still deserve to be loved Niklaus. I love and accept you and all your flaws and so will our child. Because you will show them the utmost love and adoration that you can. You will nurture them, and teach them to paint…” She softly smiled, still teary-eyed.
“Niklaus, you aren’t the only one who has made mistakes or who has flaws. I, too, am far from perfect Klaus. And yes, we may make mistakes as we raise our child, but we will grow as we go. Together.” She finished.
Nik took a breath in, his eyes beginning to flicker between Y/n’s beautiful glossy eyes, which held nothing but immense love for him, and her lips. His right hand trailed up to her face as his large hand delicately cupped her face. Before Y/n could utter another word, Klaus' lips gently met hers. Her tense shoulders instantly relaxed as she kissed him back. Nik poured all his love for her into the passionate kiss. Their lips continuously met before separating to breathe.
A small smile was playing on Niklaus plump lips, “I should’ve known that I could never leave you. I love you too much, sweetheart.” Klaus was staring at Y/n in adoration, before he continued.
“I’m sorry, Y/n. Sorry for the hurtful things I said to you yesterday. Sorry for thinking that I could ever leave you and our child. I know that I can be… difficult at times. I hope you can forgive me, and I can promise you that I will spend the rest of my eternal life loving you.”
“All is forgiven, my love. I know your mind gets the best of you sometimes. There is nothing in this world that you could do that would make me stop loving you.” Y/n smiled.
Niklaus took in the beautiful woman before him, her nose tinted red along with the splotches painting her tear-stained cheeks, doing nothing to diminish her beauty. Y/n, the mother of his child, and hopefully soon to be wife. She filled his life with love and warmth and made him the happiest he’s ever been. 
Y/n pulled Niklaus closer to her, hugging him tightly as they both shifted to lay down on their large bed, where they would remain for the following hours. Basking in the bliss of their love for each other and their unborn child.
-
a/n: yes, this is inspired by the song “grow as we go” by ben platt, but I got a little sidetracked haha, it’s such a good song though <33
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