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train-wrecc · 4 months

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Floating Above Those Dark Skies

My Navigation and Masterlist

My Sweet Home Masterlist

Pairing(s): Cha Hyun-su x Fem!Reader Summary: Living with the love of your life and the girl you love like a daughter is perfect. Except for all the bad parts. Warnings: Season 2 spoilers! Follows the dialogue of the episodes relatively strictly (I know some people like that but some people don't so it's a warning), Reader being like a second mother to Ah-yi, Hyun-su being a great big brother/father figure, slight talk of previous suicide attempts (The National Suicide and Crisis Hotline is 988. There are so many people who care about you and would love to help you. You are not alone), injuries, underage drinking (but they're in the apocalypse so who cares), canonical death, hurt with comfort, the appearance of (soft and kinda ooc) monster!Hyun-su, no use of (y/n), reader has the nickname "Lucky". Word Count: 17,132 (wow, what a doozy)

Pt 1: Drowning Without You By My Side - This could be read separately if you want to skip the harsh topics in part 1 but I would suggest reading it for context.

Hyun-su led the way as you all walked to his home. Halfway there, Ah-yi complained about her feet hurting and it was then you noticed she had been barefoot this entire time.

‘We definitely need to fix that,’ you thought.

Before Hyun-su could even open his mouth, you crouched down and extended your hands out to her. She rushed forward to jump into your arms with a tired smile. When you straightened back up, she rested her head against your shoulder and was out like a light within a few minutes.

“She seems to like you a lot,” Hyun-su whispered fondly as a gentle smile laid itself on his lips. After making sure she was secure in your arms, you smiled back at him and dropped one hand from holding her to hold his hand.

“I guess I’m just a toddler whisperer. I think she likes me better than you,” you joked and he let out a scoff while squeezing your hand.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” he told you in an offended tone you could tell was fake by the smile threatening to break his facade.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence as you walked, you asked the question that had been burning in your mind since you saw him again with the girl in your arms. “So… who is she?”

He let out a heavy sigh before pushing a tree branch out of the way for you to walk through since your hands were full.

Always the gentleman.

“She’s Seo Yi-kyung’s baby.”

You let out a quiet gasp. “What? But she hadn’t even been pregnant for half a year? And this is at least a 4-year-old child!” You whisper shouted at him, completely shocked by the information.

“I don’t fully understand it either, but I do know she’s hers,” he assured you and you let out a sigh, your eyes wide as you tried to process the information.

“So, is she a monster-human mix as well? Is she like you?” You asked. You hadn’t noticed the way Hyun-su snapped his head towards you because you were too focused on the girl in your arm, letting out small breaths that tickled your neck. The way you said the sentence was so unlike anything he had heard before - especially relating to talking about monsters and neohumans. You sounded so soft, not an ounce of judgment or resentment in your voice. You sounded like no matter what the answer was you wouldn’t treat her any differently. You would adore her just as much as you were in that moment with your face buried in her hair as she let out quiet snores in her sleep. He gave a soft smile at the thought.

“I think so. She's grown so much since I first met her. Her actual age is around 5 or 6 months.”

“Wow,” you breathed and he couldn’t help but marvel at the way your voice embodied adoration and your smile was so bright it set the sky on fire despite the sun falling over the horizon. “That’s… wow.”

The rest of the walk was spent in silence. At some point, Hyun-su’s hand moved from holding yours to circling your waist as you hugged Ah-yi to your chest protectively. Eventually, the three of you arrived at a dock where a large boat was parked.

You weren’t all too surprised to find he had lived on a boat for the past half-year but you couldn’t help the small part that didn’t believe him when he told you.

He hopped up onto the boat first before helping you, careful not to wake Ah-yi. After the two of you were safely atop the boat, he led you to the captain’s quarters and helped you lay the girl in your arms down onto the nest of blankets and sweaters assembled to make a bed. Her dress had dried surprisingly quickly on the way to the boat, the only thing left to be damp was her hair.

You weren’t so lucky.

Your clothes stuck to your skin uncomfortably but you refused to complain, giving a - hopefully convincing - smile to Hyun-su when he saw you detach your shirt from your chest with a grimace. He walked away for a few moments and you sat down at the entrance to the captain’s quarters, resting your head against the door frame until his soft footsteps brought your attention back to him. He stood in front of you with a pair of folded clothes in his hands.

“I have these if you want to change into some fresh clothes. I don’t have any towels but this might help.”

The hesitant and shy look on his face made a smile break out on your own. You gave him a nod and took the clothes from his hands. You didn’t comment on how they were exactly your size but it made your heart flutter.

“Thank you,” you told him genuinely.

He nodded back at you before pointing to a door inside the quarters. “In there is a bathroom for whenever you want to change. I’ll wait for you out here.”

You nodded and turned before the smitten smile overcame your face stupidly at the thought. He just said he would wait for you and you could feel your heartbeat quickening alarmingly while heat rose to your cheeks. You walked into the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror. It was kind of scary. You hadn’t seen your reflection in a few months, never venturing into any areas with cars and rarely going near water. All the mirrors in the women's locker room back at the stadium had been broken after a monster outbreak and the monster breaking all of them because she was ‘too ugly.’

You honestly almost forgot what you looked like, but you were beautiful. You had always thought of yourself as a relatively attractive person but never the kind that would make someone turn their head. Now, you found yourself unable to look away. Your skin was glowing, whether that be from the sweat collecting from the walk or the water, you didn’t know. Any blood that had collected on you over the past few weeks had been rinsed off in the lake and you relished in the feeling of being clean of it for once, despite how the stickiness of the wet clothes you were still wearing still made you feel a bit dirty.

Snapping out of your amazement, you quickly took your old clothes off, replacing them with the ones Hyun-su had given you. It was a simple pair of dark gray sweatpants and a maroon short-sleeved shirt. You took off your unbearably uncomfortable socks and replaced them with the soft wool socks he provided as well. Now dry, you exited the bathroom to see Hyun-su had stuck to his word and was waiting for you as he leaned against the door frame of the room, though this time in a different, dryer outfit.

“Hey,” you said softly to get his attention. He looked over at you and smiled when he saw you all dressed and dryer than before.

“Hey,” he whispered back. He held his hands out for you to give him your wet clothes and you did reluctantly. He walked over to the edge of the boat and laid them over the edge so they could dry before returning to you. “Well, you should get some sleep.”

As if his words were magic, you suddenly felt the events of the day hit you like a truck and you yawned, nodding your agreement. “I think that’s a good idea.”

You gave a quick look around the room before deciding to sleep next to Ah-yi with your head using a part of her ‘bed’ as a pillow.

Hyun-su winced as he saw you settle against the hard floor of the boat and walked forward without thinking. He gently grabbed your shoulders, lifting you and then settling you against his chest while you sat in between his legs.

You blushed but said nothing as you settled with your cheek pressed against his chest, his heartbeat echoing against your ear and calming your nerves.

“Sleep,” he told you and tightened his grip around you. “I’ll keep watch.”

Your tongue felt heavy with sleep as you spoke your next words with a slight slur. “But what about you?”

He let out a soft laugh as he heard your breathing even out almost immediately after your sentence ended. He let his head rest against the wall behind him as he kept his gaze on the door.

“I’ll be okay,” he whispered as he briefly looked down at your peaceful sleeping face. “As long as you’re here with me…”

“Lucky.”

~A Week Into The Apocalypse, In Green Home~

It had been a week since the apocalypse started, and you had barely seen Hyun-su. The way the other residents and survivors treated him caused you to be so angry. You were thankful that at least one person - Eun-yu - didn’t treat him like a monster.

She wasn’t much different though, considering she still avoided him most of the time.

It was after the reappearance of Yi-kyung and the failed mission to retrieve medicine for Ji-su and her surgery that you got the chance to talk to him for more than just a quick goodbye or hello.

“All alone?” You asked him as you approached the staircase. The candle in your hands burned a bright yellow and smelled of cinnamon sugar. His head looked up at where you were approaching and nodded as you settled yourself on the stairs with him. Although he appreciated you trying to give him space and sitting a short distance away, he couldn’t help but wish you were closer. You smiled at him and smoothed your hands along your pants when you were seated.

“Are you scared?”

The question through you off guard. Giving a quick look around the room, you didn’t see anything that you would consider to be a threat so you weren’t really sure what he was talking about.

“Of what?” You asked, tilting your head in confusion at the boy.

He mirrored your head tilt with a confused look of his own. Inwardly you laughed at how the two of you must look like confused dogs when their owners told them a command they didn’t understand.

“Of… me?” He questioned again and a small laugh left you when you finally realized.

“Oh, Hyun-su,” you reached over to gently grab his hand as you looked him deeply in the eyes. “I promise you I could never be scared of you.”

He looked down with a small smile at that and you could see the small hints of red on his ears and cheeks.

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” you started and gently released his hand. He immediately felt cold at the lack of your added warmth. “I never tried because I wasn’t sure if you even wanted to talk to me, but is there a reason why you never came by? Even after you were given a choice to leave the quarantining room?”

He paused as he thought for a moment. “I thought you didn’t want to see me. You were the only person not put on guard duty so I figured it was because you asked not to.”

You let out a sad sigh. “Shit, I’m sorry. I promise that’s not what happened.”

He looked up at you with sad, confused little puppy eyes. “It’s not?”

You shook your head. “The first, and only, time I was put on guard duty, I tried breaking the lock on the door,” you told him and looked away sheepishly.

“Really?” He asked after a moment of stunned silence.

You nodded in assurance. “After that, Eun-hyuk tried to do whatever he could to keep me as far away from you as possible. I was hoping that would change since you got out but now I know why it didn’t,” you smiled at him sweetly and he felt the heat rise to his cheeks so he looked away. “You know,” you continued. “I always saw you stop by my door right before you would leave, but you never said anything. Was that also because you thought I didn’t want to talk to you?”

“Partially. It was mainly so I could just see you before I left. Every time I thought I was going to die I thought about returning so I could at least try to fix whatever was happening,” he told you. Now he was the one who looked sheepish as he scratched the back of his neck. “I always backed out at the last minute though.”

You smiled and scooted closer to him on the stairs, moving down so you were on the same level and making it so only half a foot of space separated you. “I guess I was like your lucky charm then, wasn’t I?” You teased and lightly bumped your shoulder against his.

“Yeah, I guess you were.”

~Back To The Present~

It had been about a month since you reunited with Hyun-su. You’d grown closer to Ah-yi in no time. She looked up to you and it seemed she just needed another girl in her life to have around. Your favorite part about growing closer to her was she had upgraded your honorific from ‘Miss’ to ‘Unni’ which made your heart clench adoringly every time.

The first time Hyun-su decided to make a trip into the city to collect some supplies, he was so hesitant to leave the two of you alone. You promised you would protect Ah-yi and yourself with whatever it takes; that seemed to be enough for him to be comfortable enough to leave. He never lost his hesitancy to leave the two of you alone despite each time he came back the two of you would be fine.

The most recent time was no different. You sat on top of a large, red, metal shipping container with Ah-yi as the two of you drew using the chalk you were fortunate enough to find a few days ago.

“That looks beautiful, Ah-yi! You are such a good artist,” you praised her on her drawing and she visibly beamed. It was a simple drawing of some flowers and her, you, and Hyun-su. It was clear it was made by a child but it was so beautiful in your eyes.

“Thank you, Unni!” You ruffled her hair which she squealed at until you noticed Hyun-su walking towards the two of you with a smile on his face and a hand hiding behind his back while the other supported a red bag over his shoulder. “Oppa!” Ah-yi exclaimed and you smiled at her excitement.

He rounded the corner of the large container and brought the hand hiding behind his back out to place a pair of pink shoes on the top. Ah-yi gasped while you had a big smile on your face.

“Come on!” You urged her and she sat on the edge of the box so Hyun-su could slip the shoes onto her feet with the cutest smile ever on his face. Once the shoes were on, he held his hands out for her and she eagerly jumped down, having full faith that he wouldn’t drop her. Once he set her down, he reached his hands out for you to take and you gave him a funny look.

“What’s wrong, Lucky?” He voiced his thoughts with a confused tilt of his head. You rolled your eyes at him while smiling. Your heart fluttered at the nickname. He’d started calling you it more often since the two of you reunited and yet it still gave you butterflies.

“I’m okay, I can get down by myself,” you reassured him and turned around while you slowly lowered yourself from the canister, your front facing the metal.

You heard Hyun-su softly breathe out a laugh from behind you before a hand grabbed onto the back of your shirt and pulled. You let out a yelp as you felt yourself falling only to land bridal style in Hyun-su’s arms. You clicked your tongue in faux annoyance and crossed your arms while he tried to hide the smug smile on his lips.

“Going full ‘knight in shining armor’ mode, are we now?” You teased him and he blushed, pointedly avoiding your gaze. Suddenly, your stomach dipped as you felt him pretend to drop you and your arms wrapped themselves around his neck while he looked at you with another self-satisfied smirk.

“Well, it looks like my ‘princess’ needs her ‘knight in shining armor,’” he said softly as he looked away from you and you slapped his chest. He kneeled down when Ah-yi ran up to him. Knowing exactly what he was offering, she used one of his extended hands along with yours to help prop herself onto his shoulders. Hyun-su regained his grip on you as he grabbed the red bag he had set down and stood back up to his full height before starting the walk in the direction of the boat. You rolled your eyes, knowing any protests about him carrying you would be brushed off. Instead, you just snatched the red bag from his hand, placing it on your lap and holding it tightly to your body as you gave him a challenging glare. He just rolled his eyes with a fond smile and continued walking.

The three of you made small talk as he carried you. Ah-yi explained what you and her had done while Hyun-su was venturing off and you chimed in every now and then with a comment. Hyun-su explained how he saw a peculiar monster today.

“It was like a mermaid with wings.”

Then, you both went on to explain what a mermaid was to the child.

When you arrived at the boat, Hyun-su set the both of you down and Ah-yi started pulling you to the edge of the boat. You laughed as you walked up to the contraption. It was during your first week that you made the efficient self-fishing machine. It was a relatively simple mechanism that was made of a bunch of fishing poles and a homemade weight sensor. Whenever one of the poles was tugged on by something in the water, the device yanked it up and whatever was attached to the hook was left dangling in the air. 7 times out of 10, the hook was caught on litter in the ocean or a monster that was able to detach itself but there were the 3 times where you would catch a fish or two and the three of you would share it for dinner.

It became a bit of a game for Ah-yi and yourself, guessing if the day would end with a fresh meal or a degrading empty can with barnacles growing on the side.

As Hyun-su smiled at the two of you, he walked over to the stairs leading to the roof of the captain’s quarters and sat on the top, watching the sunset. No matter how many times you invited him to join the two of you, he always refused. It was nice you had a special activity to bond with Ah-yi over and he used that as his excuse every time.

It wasn’t even 10 minutes later as you were skinning the rare fish you’d caught with Ah-yi watching attentively as you explained the different anatomy parts to her that Hyun-su noticed a familiar face climbing the steps of the boat. He climbed down and started walking over to her while the two of you stayed distracted. You only looked over and noticed the two when you heard their footsteps. You carefully set down the knife and fish, wiping your hands on a stray towel beside you, and stood up to walk over beside Hyun-su. Ah-yi followed up behind you, grabbing onto the back of your shirt shyly.

“I came too late, didn’t I?” Yi-kyung asked from in front of you as she looked at the girl shyly standing behind you. You decided not to answer considering you still weren’t sure how you felt about the whole situation of her leaving her child. Instead, Hyun-su answered her question.

“Not at all. You’re here now, right?”

She looked down and you could see the guilt and regret on her face. Slowly, you turned around to face Ah-yi. “That’s your mommy,” you told her and she looked at her hands shyly. “Why don’t you say hi.”

You lightly pushed her in the direction of Yi-kyung and the woman kneeled so she was face to face with her.

“Hi there,” you heard her whisper to the girl while you stood up to your full height. You wrapped your arms around Hyun-su’s waist and leaned into him while you watched them interact. Yi-kyung brought her into a hug and you smiled at the relief that settled on her face.

Over the next few months, you and Hyun-su traveled through the city together, occasionally going back to visit Yi-kyung and Ah-yi but mainly wanting to give them the privacy a mother and daughter should have. It was adorable to come back and see the markings on the wall increase where Yi-kyung marked her daughter’s growth every day. Everything seemed to be going perfectly for the family of two.

Up until that day.

You had an awful feeling in the pit of your stomach for the entire day, feeling as if something bad was going to happen and you needed to get back to the two girls on the boat. When you shared your feelings with Hyun-su, he didn’t question it for a second, immediately going with you to rush back.

When you arrived at the boat, you found a teenage girl covered in blood wearing the same dress as the little girl you’d grown to love while sitting on the bed blankets and jackets. You walked slowly towards her and she snapped her head up when she saw your feet enter her vision from where she had her head hung low. You kneeled in front of her, tentatively reaching a hand out to hold her cheek and she leaned into it.

Just like Ah-yi always did.

You let out a shaky breath as you finally voiced the question.

“Ah-yi?”

She nodded, her eyes filled with fear.

Fear of resentment.

Fear of abandonment.

Fear of your fear.

You just let out a sigh, whether it was from relief or surprise, you didn’t know. What you did know was that this was your Ah-yi and you would love her no matter what form she would take. You wrapped your arms around her and brought her in for a hug which she returned immediately. Relief coursed through her body so evidently that you could practically hear it.

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay,” you dispelled her fears, bringing her closer and rocking her as she cried into your shoulder and told you what happened. You smoothed down her bloodied hair, not caring about how she was staining your clothes with the blood coating her.

Once she calmed down a bit more, you gathered a rag from the bathroom.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” You promised her and she nodded. You turned and left, closing the door behind you and giving her a playful wink through the window which she giggled quietly at. Hyun-su followed you as you walked down the stairs of the boat and to the edge of the water. As you kneeled down to dip the rag into the lake's water, you started asking the questions on your mind about what Ah-yi told you happened.

“How did they even find this place? How did they find out about her being mixed?” You asked Hyun-su. His lips twitched into a small smile when he heard you refer to her as ‘mixed.’ He remembers you telling him the reasoning behind it like it was yesterday.

“I don’t like the word ‘monster.’ I always associated the word ‘monster’ with someone who acts evilly and neither of you are like that. I know you’re not entirely human anymore but I refuse to call you monsters. Human or not, you are still a good person.”

It was the moment he had set it in stone that you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

“I don’t know,” he answered your questions. “But I have a bad feeling about the whole thing,” he paused momentarily before continuing. “What do you think we should do about the whole… touch thing she has?” He asked you and you frowned in thought.

“Well, I don’t think we should do anything. It’s a part of who she is and she shouldn’t feel the need to be ashamed of it. I don’t necessarily think she should use it on people, least of all those undeserving of it, but she can learn to control it. She doesn’t have to live in fear of herself.”

Just as Hyun-su was about to reply to your heartwarming statement, the two of you were interrupted by Ah-yi screaming and crying from the boat. You both ran in the direction of the scream and when you got there you saw Yi-kyung with her head down as blood dripped from her eye while Ah-yi was rubbing at a wound on her forearm.

“What’s going on?” Hyun-su questioned in a panic. Seeing the bloody knife on the ground as well as a bloody pencil, you pieced together what happened. It seemed Hyun-su did too, if his sigh was any way to tell. “Why did you have to do this?”

Yi-kyung let out a few heavy breaths as she breathed through the pain coursing through her eye. “I’m her mother. No matter how she changes, or what form she takes… I need to recognize my little girl. I won’t ever lose her.”

It was then you realized the wound Yi-kyung inflicted on Ah-yi was black. You let out another sigh, anger, and understanding fighting for control of your emotions as you realized the purpose of her actions. She may have had better intentions behind the action, but how she carried it out was not the way to go.

As Yi-kyung rose and left the scene, you sat down in front of Ah-yi, carefully reaching for her left arm where the wound had already healed. You gently used the rag to wipe down her arm, then her other arm, and then her face. You wiped down all the blood that tainted her smooth skin while she sat there silently, most likely in shock by what just happened. The domestic act, despite the violent acts that brought it about, brought a wave of emotion over Hyun-su as he watched the two of you.

It made him realize how much he wanted a family with you one day.

After Ah-yi was all clean, you gave her a pair of clothes to change into while you and Hyun-su went to the opposite side of the boat to talk while you waited for her. When she came out, you walked over to give her a hug which she gladly accepted. She squeezed you just as tightly as you squeezed her. You wished you could engrave it into her brain that you would never, could never, be afraid of her.

Afterward, she went to sit on a barrel, swinging her legs back and forth while you watched her and leaned against Hyun-su’s embrace. It was all so calm until Yi-kyung appeared from the boat’s stairs and walked towards Ah-yi with purpose. Ah-yi, still angry at her mother for what she did, hopped off the barrel and started walking away but was stopped when Yi-kyung’s hand wrapped around her bicep and aggressively pulled her back. The woman shoved her daughter’s hands into a pair of pink gloves connected by a rope that she placed behind the girl’s neck.

“Don’t take those off no matter what. Understand?” Yi-kyung told her daughter. You rushed forward, feeling anger simmer beneath your blood at the sudden display of aggression she started showing toward her daughter.

“Hey, don’t you think this is a bit extreme?” You told her, standing in between the two girls. You felt Ah-yi grip your shirt from behind you. You could tell even if her body had grown more, she was still used to her childhood ways of having you protect her.

“She’s my daughter, I will do as I see fit,” Yi-kyung told you sternly before swiftly turning around and walking back down the stairs of the boat, leaving the three of you alone.

You turned around to face the girl and sighed when you saw her speed-walking to her sleeping space in the captain’s quarters and locking the door behind her. You and Hyun-su decided to just set up camp outside the door, leaving her alone for the time being so she could sort out her thoughts.

The next morning, you woke up to the sound of Yi-kyung panicking. You instinctively looked around, looking to protect Ah-yi until you realized she wasn’t there. You rushed to stand up and ran to where her mother was breathing heavily and pacing back and forth.

“What’s going on? Where’s Ah-yi?” You questioned and she turned to face you.

“I don’t know! I was looking for her this morning and I can’t find her anywhere!”

“Shit,” you muttered to yourself. Your thoughts were racing, trying to think of any place she could possibly be. When you finally landed on an answer, you started walking off.

“Where are you going?” Yi-kyung called out to you and you scoffed, not bothering to face her as you continued walking.

“To find your daughter.”

When you got to the garden dome, the rusting doors were firmly closed unlike the previous times you were here with Ah-yi. Not deterred in any way, you rammed into the doors, successfully sending them flying open. You winced at the loud noise and walked in.

“Ah-yi!” You yelled out, praying your instinct was right and she was here.

“Go away, Unni,” you heard her soft voice tell you from further into the garden.

Sighing, you walked closer until you saw her sitting on the grass flooring while playing with a flower.

“Ah-yi, why don’t you come home?” You tried but she just shook her head. When you realized she wasn’t going to say anything else, you walked closer.

Imagine your surprise when she scrambled away from you, desperate to keep the space between you two.

“Ah-yi, what’s wrong?” You asked gently, stopping in your tracks to give her the space she desired.

“Don’t touch me! I might hurt you!” She exclaimed fearfully through a sob and you cursed her mother for putting that image in her head. Taking another slow and gentle step toward her, you internally cheered when she didn’t move away. You took more steps toward her until you were sitting right in front of her and your hand reached for hers.

When she pulled back, you gave her the best reassuring smile you could muster. “Sweetie, I know that you won’t hurt me. I promise.”

She hesitated but when you reached for her hands again she let you take them. You gave her a smile and squeezed her hand before pulling her into your chest. Your arms wrapped around her shoulders and held her tightly while she started crying more, her body wracking with the violent sobs she let out.

“I just don’t understand why she hates me so much! Those men hurt me first!” She sobbed into the crook of your neck and you softly caressed her hair, brushing the loose leaves and grass strands out.

“I know, I’m so sorry she did that to you. You definitely didn’t deserve that,” you reassured her and lifted your chin to rest your head on top of hers when you saw Hyun-su leaning against a wall while watching the two of you with a frown. You used a hand to wave him over and he slowly walked over so he was sitting about a foot away from the two of you. You looked back down at her and kissed her forehead lovingly. “I don’t want you to be afraid of yourself. You did what you had to do in that situation and no one is blaming you for it. Your mom is just…” you hesitated, looking to Hyun-su for support on how to explain the girl’s mother’s actions in a way that wouldn’t drag her name through the mud any more than it already was.

“Your mom was just worried,” Hyun-su intervened when he noticed your pleading gaze, bringing a hand to rest against Ah-yi’s back comfortingly. Ah-yi jumped a bit, startled, but otherwise didn’t do anything. “It was a shock to her to not only see you grow 10 years older in a few seconds but also to see how you dealt with those men. She didn’t want to lose you.”

“You mean she was scared. Scared of me,” she argued.

The both of you stayed quiet for a minute before you spoke again. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now because of what happened yesterday, but I promise you she loves you,” she started crying again and you just hugged her tighter to you. “And if you don’t believe me, at least know that I love you.”

It was the first time you’d expressed that to her in words and she looked up at you in surprise.

“Really?”

The pure innocence and surprise in her tone were enough for a genuine smile to break out on your face.

“Of course,” you told her sincerely and brushed her overgrown bangs to the side of her face.

‘I guess I should trim those soon,’ you thought to yourself.

“How could I not love you? You’re amazing!” You teased her lightly and she grinned at you. “You’re like a daughter to me, Ah-yi. I can’t see a life in which I wouldn’t love you.”

She dug her head into the crook of your neck again at your words.

“I just stopped crying,” she complained with a whine that made you laugh. “Don’t make me start again!”

“Okay! Okay,” you caved and leaned back to look at her again. “Why don’t we go home now?” She hesitated for a moment before nodding decisively.

The three of you stood up and you offered your hand to Ah-yi without a second of hesitation, something you could see in her eyes she appreciated.

“Ah-yi,” Hyun-su said as the boat came into view in front of you all. You’d stopped by the lake where you saved her all those months ago on the way back and spent a few hours there. Both of you could tell she didn’t really want to go home yet so you extended the day as long as you could.

She hummed and looked over at him from where you had her propped up on your back in a piggyback ride. She had stepped on a rock and dramatically complained about it until one of you just decided to pick her up and bring her along.

That someone being you.

“I…” he hesitated and you freed up a hand to reach over and give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I need you to do me a favor. When we get back, I need you to go easy on your mom.”

You could feel her body tensing on your back, not expecting his words to be that. You quickly intervened. “We don’t expect you to forgive her anytime soon. Hell, I don’t really expect you to ever forgive her, but I think we both agree that you should give her another chance,” you told her. She huffed and rested her chin on your head childishly. “We’ll talk to her whenever we get back and tell her what she did was wrong, but she was only trying to keep you with her.”

There were a few moments where Ah-yi stayed silent as you walked and you got nervous about what her reaction would be until she sighed.

“Fine.”

You sighed in relief and smiled. What you wouldn’t tell her is that the ‘talk’ you would be having would most likely be a screaming match between the two of you while Hyun-su tried to be the mediator.

It had been about a month since that day and you’d stayed with Ah-yi and Yi-kyung for about half of it. The rest of the time, you and Hyun-su traveled through the city together, enjoying the feeling of being free with each other and occasionally spying on the soldiers of the stadium when they went out on their supply runs.

“I have a bad feeling,” Hyun-su told you one day while the two of you were washing a muddied shirt in the river.

“Let’s go check it out then,” you told him, standing up and wiping your hands on your trousers but he held his hand up.

“I… I don’t think you should come with me.”

You looked at him, feeling shocked and slightly hurt but masking it under a calm exterior. “O-oh. Oka-”

“I just mean it feels dangerous. I don’t really know how to explain it,” he interrupted you quickly, hesitantly taking one of your hands and squeezing it reassuringly.

You gave him a small frown. “But I don’t want you to be in any danger either.”

He smiled confidently at you and stared deeply into your eyes. “I promise I will be okay. Just stay in the shed until I get back. I’ll be back in a few hours at most.”

After a moment of hesitation, your eyes flicking between the broken down shed behind you and Hyun-su’s dark mocha brown eyes, you nodded in agreement. He smiled at you before turning in the opposite direction and starting to walk away. Just as he started to get out of arm's length, you tightened the grip you had around his hand. He turned back to you, tilting his head in question but your head was down, your eyes focused on his hand where you gently played with his fingers.

“Please return to me,” you whispered, barely audible to him and he sighed. Taking a step forward, he wrapped his arms around you, one resting on the back of your head and the other around your waist.

“I will, Lucky. I always will.”

Eun-yu walked down the empty street of the city, darkness clouding every corner and making her jump at every noise. She wasn’t nearly as experienced as you when it came to venturing off alone and outside of the stadium so it was all new to her. This was her first time out of the stadium, let alone all by herself, and she had barely any idea of what to do or where to go. It all started when she was waiting for you at the exit you used to go through when you went on your personal expeditions.

She wasn’t dumb. She knew you were leaving every day and trying to hurt yourself, yet every day you came back safe. Maybe a little broken and bruised at times, but alive nonetheless. Despite the two of you not being close, she still cared about you more than anything. You were the closest thing to a friend that she had. She was positive you didn’t remember this, but she had helped comfort you one night as you cried after another - but also thankfully your last - attempt to leave this world. You told her about the force that kept you alive, protecting you from monsters and from yourself. You told her about how you blame yourself for Hyun-su’s disappearance and how he was most likely dead. You told her everything. Afterward, you ended up passing out in her embrace and sleeping the entirety of the next day away while she stayed by your side to ward off anyone wanting to wake you.

Once you woke up, you seemed normal. The same expressionless look on your face as you went on with your day. It stayed that way for a long time. Eun-yu tried her best to do subtle things to help you; to make you feel more wanted and make you blame yourself less.

Until one day, you never came back.

You leaving and never returning is what led her to be standing at the exit not even a week ago, feeding some of her rations to a small stray kitten. It’s what led her to stay there even when Chan-young approached her and asked her what she was doing. It’s what made her stay even after a young girl she hadn’t recognized revealed herself. It’s what made her stay despite the pleas to go back inside from Chan-young and allowed her to see the woman she thought had died show up and take the girl with her.

It is also what led her here, all alone looking for you or the girl or Yi-kyung. Whilst finding you was her main goal, she would be satisfied with any of the three.

She lost Chan-young somewhere along the way after he was poisoned by the girl accompanying that old man but she didn’t let that deter her.

Now, in the dark shadows looming over the alleyways she walked through, a long metal pipe clutched in one of her hands, she searched the abandoned city with the need to find you forcing down any fear she was feeling. The unoccupied hand had an old piece of clothing wrapped around it, protecting any dirt from getting into the wound where she protected Yeong-su from that soldier.

She often wondered if you knew how much you inspired her to be brave and protect those around her.

After some time, she found herself standing in front of a large greenhouse. Most of the windows were broken and she could see the plants inside had overgrown their once pristinely gardened form, but it was gorgeous regardless. The moonlight shone through the broken glass and cast spotlights of glimmering luminescence across the vegetation. She took a moment to admire everything, noting how you would’ve loved a space like this until she heard a growling sound from behind her and her guard immediately went back up. Moving the pipe so it was tightly grasped in her hands like a baseball bat, she held it defensively and slowly crept closer to the source of the growling. The large crater in the ground made her sick, reminding her of the tragedy that happened less than a year ago when the government tried to kill as many people as possible in order to ‘save humanity from itself.’

As she got closer, she raised the pipe over her head, ready to strike at any moment. The growling of the monster got louder as she approached and she prepared herself to swing until-

“He won’t attack you.”

Eun-yu turned around, facing the new voice and seeing the same girl from before. She lowered the pipe, letting it hang loosely at her side as the girl took slow steps toward her. Since she was almost positive this girl would have nothing to do with you, she instead asked about Yi-kyung. “I’m looking for Yi-kyung. You know where she is, right?” The girl stayed silent, gradually getting closer as she continued with her measured footsteps. “I have to meet with her.”

The two girls stared at each other as the younger girl approached. Silence stilled the air until it was broken.

“Mom… the people… they’re all bad.”

“Did you say ‘Mom’?” Eun-yu questioned, her face portraying her confusion and shock.

‘She couldn’t mean Yi-’

“You’re no different,” the girl concluded, taking her last few steps forward more quickly and launching Eun-yu down into the hole behind her. Feeling the ground disappear from below her feet and the wind rush through her hair, she screamed.

A scream.

A scream was what stopped you from continuing your washing of Hyun-su and your clothes. You snapped your head in the direction of the noise so fast you were worried you got whiplash. Unconsciously clutching the current piece of clothing you’d been washing in your hands, you started sprinting in the direction of the noise. As you got closer, the area around you got brighter and you noticed it becoming increasingly more familiar to you. It was when you saw the familiar metal canisters that you realized you were near the boat.

It was also when you realized the boat was on fire.

You gasped as you saw the flames licking away at the deck in the distance, pushing your body past its limits as you forced yourself to go faster, faster, faster. You were beyond terrified at the implications the fire had.

‘Was this the bad feeling Hyun-su had?’ You asked yourself. You tried your best to stay as positive as possible until you got there but it was difficult with all the possibilities swirling in your mind. However, there was one possibility you clung to: while the boat burning was bad in itself, maybe nobody was on it.

Maybe.

When you got to the stairs of the boat, you climbed them as quickly as you could, ignoring the pain in your foot when you slipped down one and ended up stepping on it wrong.

‘That’s a problem for later.’

You got to the top, not seeing anybody in the burning embers surrounding you. Quickly covering your mouth with the still-damp piece of fabric in your hands and thanking yourself for unconsciously holding onto it, you ran around the top of the deck, looking for any signs of life while simultaneously praying for none. Seeing nothing, your mind ran at a hundred miles per hour as you tried to decide if that was a good or bad thing.

“Cha Hyun-su!” You screamed out, the use of his last name representing your evident panic. “Seo Ah-yi!” It was when you circled the captain’s quarters that you saw a familiar lean body. “Seo Yi-kyung!”

You rushed forward, sliding down to your knees as you reached her and turning her onto her back. You winced as you saw the burn marks and ash littering across the side of her face. You brought the wet clothing down from where it covered your mouth and nose, quickly replacing it with the cuff of your jacket as you used the wet fabric to cover Yi-kyung’s nose. The fire caught onto your pants and you scrambled to put it out, letting out muffled screams into your sleeve as it burned your skin.

You watched as the small baby monster you knew to be Ah-yi’s friend approached you and Yi-kyung. You were mainly confused about why it showed up here willingly, usually, monsters were terrified of fire and would avoid it at all costs but that didn’t seem to be the case.

“Go away! Get out of here!” You screamed at the baby but it just babbled at you, running up to you and setting out the fire on your pants. Then, it began to circle around the two of you, using its body to roll out any fire that got too close. You quietly sobbed, your tears feeling like ice against your flaming skin. “Thank you,” you whispered to the small creature, feeling so grateful yet guilty for the way it was putting itself in danger for you.

Suddenly, as you felt yourself fading out of consciousness, the exhaustion from the run over, and the pain in your foot getting to you, you heard a familiar voice call out for you.

“Lucky!”

Hyun-su...

Eun-yu screamed out as she fell until she quieted, accepting her death to be by falling down a large hole while not knowing if her only friend was dead or alive. Just as she lost all hope, the sound of something whipping through the wind above caught her attention along with a familiar large wing made of bone and muscle only. It was only for a moment that she caught a glimpse of the boy’s face before his arm wrapped around her body and they shot up.

Reaching the top, Hyun-su swung around so his body would take the brunt of the fall and they crashed. Sliding across the concrete, he used his wing to slow them down as much as possible and keep her as unharmed as he could. Barely taking a minute to breathe when they came to a stop, Hyun-su opened his arm and rolled Eun-yu off before standing back up.

“Cha Hyun-su,” the girl tried, struggling to lift herself from the ground. Receiving no response as he continued walking toward Ah-yi, who was watching curiously from the other side of the crater, she tried again. “Cha Hyun-su!” She finally made it to her feet as she screamed.

Hyun-su let out a breath. He took a moment to force his eyes to return to their natural state instead of the endless void that would consume him when in his monster state before slowly turning around to face her.

“Are you really just gonna leave like that?” She asked him, more quietly this time as he faced her. His wing flapped lightly at his side, whistling through the wind in an ethereally beautiful way.

At least, that’s how you would often describe it.

“Were you expecting a hug or something?” He asked her in a blank tone and she looked at him with exasperated annoyance.

“Yeah, I was. I expected at least a ‘Glad to see you. How’ve you been?’” She retorted back at him, getting angrier by the moment at the completely blank look on his face.

“But I’m not glad to see you,” he told her and she couldn’t help but expect it. She knew they weren’t close. Nowhere near as close as you were with Hyun-su. You always tried so hard to make him feel included, to fight for his rights even when Eun-hyuk kept you as far away from him as possible. After you tried to break the lock of the door that one time, he gave strict instructions to everyone who had a guard duty that they were not to allow you near the room. You would always leave Eun-hyuk with the same phrase after each failed attempt to see the boy.

“You’re a coward. You won’t go up the stairs to retrieve the residents’ items yourself and then you treat the man who does do it like scum. I can’t believe you.”

It was what made her like you in the first place. While she knew you and Hyun-su had known each other for a brief period before the apocalypse, she couldn’t help but admire how you stood up for the boy without a second thought. She was pretty sure she realized your feelings for him before even you did.

“You weren’t supposed to know how to leave the stadium. You should’ve just stayed away,” Hyun-su’s voice broke her out of her brief flash of memories.

“It was you all along…” she started, taking a stuttering step toward him. “That night with the rope… all the times she tried to kill herself… it was you who saved her, wasn’t it?”

By the lack of surprise or questioning on his face, she knew her answer. They stayed silent for a few more seconds, Eun-yu waiting for an answer and Hyun-su trying to provide one. Though his face remained monotonous, he was trying to come up with an answer that wouldn’t give her too much information but would satisfy her concern and need to know.

“We crossed paths. I figured since we weren’t strangers I might as well help her out. I know what it’s like. She doesn’t deserve that kind of a death. That’s it. Nothing more,” he looked at her, making sure his words weren’t just floating in one ear and out the other. “You understand?”

Without waiting for her to respond, he turned around again, rolling his eyes.

‘I have to get back to-’

“That’s bullshit and we both know it!” Eun-yu yelled from behind him, interrupting his thoughts. She took fast purposeful steps toward him as she continued to speak. “You’re in love with her, she was your everythin-!”

Hyun-su brought his wing down and scraped the concrete behind him, only a few feet away from where Eun-yu was standing. She held her breath, waiting for his next move and cursing herself for the shiver of fear that ran up her spine at his actions.

‘You would never fear him like this.’

Seeing him not make any more moves, she tried again. Prying her feet off the floor from where the strange acid was kicked up by the large appendage, she started walking again only for Hyun-su to slam his wing down again. This time, the toe of her front boot had melted off and she could see the black socks she wore underneath peeking through. She mentally slapped herself for how the breath she let out was shaky. Forcing herself to peel her boots off the ground again, she tried to take another step when suddenly a hand latched onto her bicep and pulled her back, sending her tumbling to the ground.

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” The large man, Ho-sang+ asked. His shoulders were draped with a homemade camouflage outfit made of grass and hay. The man raised his shotgun, aiming it toward Hyun-su who had still yet to turn around. “You monster piece of shit, what are you doing here?” The boy turned to look over his shoulder at the new voice. “Get gone!”

Right as Hyun-su turned back around to keep walking, Eun-yu spoke up again.

“Wait!” She scrambled to her feet, intending on running over to Hyun-su but the older man grabbed her shoulders and held her back. “Cha Hyun-su. Cha Hyun-su!” He came to a halt again and it was enough of a tell he was waiting for her to continue. “She…” she began, hesitating to tell him this in case her gut feeling was wrong. “She’s been missing for months. Do you know… I mean… is she…” She couldn't force herself to get her words out, only able to speak in between shaky breaths as she started to think of the worst possible outcomes. If her gut feeling was wrong and you weren’t really with Hyun-su, she didn’t know what she would do.

Hyun-su turned back around to look at her over his shoulder. Keeping eye contact with her for a few moments as he debated whether to tell her or not, he relented.

“She’s alive.”

Turning back around, he could hear the breaths of relief Eun-yu and the older man both released, albeit for different reasons.

Following Ah-yi, they both walked away from the two humans. He waited until they got to the edge of the river to start talking.

“Why did you do that?”

“I don't like her,” Ah-yi responded.

“So why don't you like her?” He pushed,

“Every human is the same. She’s no different,” she yelled angrily before her voice dropped to a mumble he was just barely able to hear. “The only human to be an exception is Unni.”

Hyun-su looked at her when she stopped, the anger being shown clearly on her face and he was confused about why she was so riled up. The quiet atmosphere was only interrupted by the hooting of the owls in the nearby trees.

“I was curious about humans at first… because both Mom and Unni are human. So I said ‘hi’ and they…” She took a shaky breath in before continuing. “They hurt me. They yelled and they pushed and... and they hurt me too. And they killed all my friends and monsters!” She screamed out, her voice heavy with raw emotion. “Leaving just me.”

“They were just scared,” Hyun-su tried to soothe her anger and pain as her eyes filled with tears. “Afraid of losing someone.”

“Then I'll give them a reason. Show them how scary it was,” her heavy breathing slowly evened out and Hyun-su sighed. He knew you would be able to help her with a situation like this better than he would. From the very first day, you always seemed to have a way of calming her down and helping her through the more difficult times.

“Let's get out of here. Yeah?” He suggested as tears began to fall down her cheeks, hitting the pavement below with an imperceptible plop.

“There's no place for me. My house is gone,” she told him.

“What… do you mean?” He asked after a few silent beats.

“I… no longer need you. Not you, or Mom…” she paused to calm herself but couldn’t stop the sob that came with her next words. “Or Unni. Not anymore.”

Hyun-su let out a slight gasp before sprinting in the direction of the boat. He hoped his suspicions were wrong. He hoped Ah-yi wouldn’t do that to her mother.

But he knew she would.

He’d heard the countless nights you spent with her in your arms as you consoled her and reassured her about her mother’s love when she was positive it no longer existed. He knew how much she hated the woman who gave birth to her, hated her for the love she once had but lost on that fateful day.

Hyun-su ignored the sharp pain in his lungs as he sprinted toward the boat, cursing lightly when he saw the fire engulfing it from afar. Finally reaching it, he ran around looking desperately for Yi-kyung and screaming her name.

It wasn’t until he found both her and you lying on the ground that his panic started to take over.

“Lucky!” He screamed, running towards you and dropping to his knees. He quickly picked both of you up, the weight not a struggle for him but the positioning of your bodies being a bit awkward. He ended up with Yi-kyung on his back piggyback style and you being held in his arms like his bride. Seeing the small creature passed out only a few feet away, he picked it up too and put it on your lap as he walked off the boat, letting the home full of memories burn itself to the ground forevermore.

Hyun-su walked towards the swan boat about a quarter mile away from the boat. Gently setting Yi-kyung down first, he placed you down with your head in his lap. He cursed himself. He couldn’t believe he had just left you alone. He couldn’t believe you would go into such a dangerous place willingly.

But then again, he couldn’t be surprised. You were like that, so selfless and kind. If you saw the boat on fire you would never allow yourself to stay behind while there was a potential of the people you loved being on that boat.

He was thankful you at least were smart enough to cover your nose and mouth when you were there. The ripped and slightly scorched shirt covering Yi-kyung’s mouth was one he recognized to be yours. And although it wasn’t a great replacement, he saw how the cuff of your jacket sleeve was loosely placed over your own mouth, slipping once you’d fallen unconscious.

As he was picking the bits of seared wood and singed fabric from your hair, a small whisper of his name drew his attention behind him to Yi-kyung.

“Hyun-su…”

He turned around, making sure not to jostle you around too much as he looked at her. Her face was burned, fresh wounds scarring the flesh of her cheeks that would forever alter her appearance.

“Are you okay, Yi-kyung?”

“It’s all my fault it’s like this,” she started. Hyun-su stayed silent as she continued. “I just wanted her to be safe like you were,” she whimpered, it was unclear whether it was from the pain on her skin or the pain in her heart. “All I wanted was for her to…” she sobbed but no tears came out yet. She was dehydrated and wounded and it was clear she wouldn’t make it without medical help they no longer had.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Hyun-su refuted.

Yi-kyung groaned as she sat up, leaning heavily against the edge of the swan boat. “I should’ve killed her.”

Hyun-su’s eyes widened at her words. While he knew that was what she had wanted when her baby was first born, he didn’t know it was still something she thought about.

“In the back of my mind, I always had that thought. I know she must’ve felt it when I had those thoughts,” she breathed heavily, her breaths sounding gritty and labored. She looked at the girl lying in Hyun-su’s lap, feeling angry, regretful, and jealous, but mostly grateful. Grateful she had at least you to look up to and show her the way when she couldn’t. “I know she would always tell her about how she hated me,” she pointed at you weakly. “I know she always saw her as more of a mother than she did me.”

“You’re wrong,” Hyun-su protested. “While Ah-yi loves Lucky, she needs you as her mother. I know because I was there too through all those days,” he looked down at you, eyes still shut and sweat clinging to your skin. “So was she,” he breathed out a sigh and looked back at Yi-kyung. “You said you were a bad mother, but you know that’s just not true.”

“The fault is all mine,” tears fell down her cheeks as she spoke, a soothing touch to her wounded face. “I was the one who made her like this,” she blamed herself, Hyun-su’s reassuring words either not registering in her brain or being completely ignored. “No, this is good,” she accepted. She knew her end would be soon. “It turning out like this is for the best. This way, I… I don’t have to kill my daughter.,” she sobbed.

“Were you really going to kill her?” He asked incredulously. At her lack of response, he continued. “Why? You’re her mother! So why?”

“I don’t deserve to be,” she cut him off. “I could never be worthy of her, not when I treated her so differently than you did. Than she did,” she explained. She couldn’t fathom saying your name, feeling unworthy of being near you when she always had those terrible thoughts of hurting her own flesh and blood. You had always treated her so much better than she had, treating her like your own daughter, whether it was by blood or not. “I had the same thought hundreds of times. ‘Why is she cursed like this?’ Why?” She started sobbing again, the guilt and blame she put on herself for the past year torturing her soul. “It’s all my fault. My awful thoughts and desires turned her… into a… monster.”

Hyun-su scoffed. “Yeah, so what?” He looked at her and the surprise of his words stopped her crying. “Are monsters really all bad?”

Yi-kyung sighed and just as Hyun-su was going to continue talking, the soft babbling of the baby monster sounded out again, drawing both their attention to the mini creature. He gently picked it up, holding it in his arms as he spoke again. “This one saved you. Saved both of you. Saved you because you’re family…” his eyes filled with tears but he refused to let his voice break. “You see, monsters feel and recognize people. Because they were human once too.”

He hugged the monster to his chest, and the conversation ended when Yi-kyung faded out of consciousness.

The group sat around the campfire, Ha-ni snuggled up against Chan-young’s side while the other two sat alone.

“So, which is it?” Eun-yu asked. “A brother? A boss? A dad? What are you to each other?”

“Why the hell does it matter? Just eat and get lost,” the older man evaded the question.

“Um… why don’t you come back with us? You’ll be safer there,” Park Chan-young offered and Ha-ni’s head perked up in excitement.

“Are we getting married then?” She asked, moving closer to his side and resting her head against his shoulder.

“Uh, that’s… that’s not what I’m saying,” he repudiated.

“Safe? You guys have just been lucky,” the older man rolled his eyes at the suggestion. “That, or you don’t know better.”

“I think you might be underestimating some of us.”

“I don’t trust humans, okay?” He concluded.

“I’m not surprised. But you don’t trust monsters either?” Eun-yu integrated herself into the conversation once more. “And what about her?” She asked, tilting her head at Ha-ni. “You trust her?” He didn’t respond and it was silent for a minute. “Sure seems like it.”

Ha-ni, noticing how the atmosphere was turning strange and uncomfortable, interrupted. “Let’s go with them. Let’s go together, teacher, hmm?” She insisted, leaning forward in her seat to emphasize her wants. “Hey, let’s go!”

The older man looked thoughtful for a moment, considering his companion’s words before noticing something in the distance.

“What are you doing here?” He screamed accusingly, raising his shotgun threateningly toward the figure approaching.

Hyun-su walked forward. Yi-kyung was tied against his back using the long-sleeved shirt you used to cover your mouth in the fire meanwhile you were held in his arms, cradled against his chest protectively.

He raised his head slightly to look at them, continuing his stride forward despite the threat of the gun in front of him.

In the blink of an eye, Ha-ni appeared next to Ho-sang as he held the gun and moved his arms, forcing it to face the ground just as he pulled the trigger. It hit the rocks harmlessly and she looked at Hyun-su curiously.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly lowered himself to his knees and placed Yi-kyung on the ground after untying her. Keeping you in his arms as he rose again, he held you close as Eun-yu rushed forward. Stopping just a foot in front of him, she looked down at you in shock. She reached her hand out to caress your cheek but stopped herself at the last second.

“Please help,” Hyun-su begged and Eun-yu lifted her chin to look at him. “This was the only place I could turn to.”

Both Chan-young and Ha-ni walked over to where Yi-kyung was lying on the ground, kneeling down to properly assess the damage on her body.

“How did she get like this? And the kid? The girl who left with you?” Eun-yu asked before looking down at you still in Hyun-su’s arms and finally allowing her fingers to skim along the feverish skin of your cheek as she whispered your name, stunned. “And what about her? Is she okay? Why isn’t she awake?”

“First, let’s get them both inside,” Chan-young stopped her questioning before Hyun-su could respond. Ha-ni helped him prop the woman on her back, fully intending to bring her into the trailer until a gunshot sounded.

Eun-yu froze in shock, paralyzed by seeing Hyun-su stumble back with a gunshot to the shoulder. He fell to his knees once more, his grip on you loosening but refusing to let go. He gently set your lower body down onto his lap, his now free hand going to hold his wounded shoulder while the other held your upper body to his chest. He ignored the anger that stirred in his chest when he saw how close the shot came to your face, just missing by a few inches. Clenching his eyes closed tightly and blocking out the sound of everyone talking and screaming around him, he forced the familiar feeling of his monster down. When he finally looked up and opened his eyes he saw Eun-yu holding Ha-ni against her chest with blade centimeters from her neck.

“- and I’ll cut her fucking head off.”

Ha-ni scoffed at her words with an annoyed smile but didn’t try to fight back or move away.

“Way to prove my point about humans,” Ho-sang told her, not lowering his gun. “Pulling this shit after I saved your life is rich.”

“I said I’ll take him with me. I said I’ll take them so just… what's your problem?” Eun-yu begged the man, tears forming along her waterline as the situation continued to go downhill.

“You’re with monsters,” Ho-sang explained, glaring at her from his spot. “That makes you a threat. And you call yourself human? Jesus.”

“You call yourself human when you just almost shot a girl in the face? He might not be human but she is!” She screamed at him and continued when she saw the flicker of guilt in his eyes. “And what makes you special? How can you be sure you’re gonna stay immune?” She questioned but he stayed silent. “What if you were to start showing symptoms? Seems a bullet is your only option. Since monsters have to die.”

Hyun-su groaned in pain before trying to stop her from baiting the man. “Stop it,” his words were spoken weakly as more blood spilled from his wound. He covered it with the fabric of his shirt, trying to avoid getting as much blood on you as possible but the splatters of blood across your forehead and cheeks told him it was already a bit too late for that.

“And her?” Eun-yu continued, ignoring the boy’s warnings and protests as she started to speak about Ha-ni. “Could you put a bullet in her?” Her words were spoken softly but Ho-sang heard it loud and clear. He stayed quiet again, not willing to speak of the situation he feared the most. “How about I save you the trouble?” She offered.

“Oh, yeah. So this is who you are,” he finally spoke, nodding in disdain at her actions.

“Stop it,” Hyun-su tried again but again was ignored. “Don’t do this Eun-yu,” he begged.

Suddenly, Ha-ni grabbed the wrist holding the knife to her throat, and twisted it away from herself, spinning around so the knife was now in her possession and the tip was pointing directly at Eun-yu’s neck. There was a collective gasp from everyone watching and Ho-sang lowered his guns in shock. “Ha-ni!” He yelled at her as she stuck the point of the blade in Eun-yu’s neck, causing a trail of blood to leak out.

After a moment of tense silence, she pulled the knife away and dropped it to the floor where it clattered against the rocks loudly. Pushing her forward, she walked over and entered her car, entering it and called for Ho-sang to join her.

“In this life, we weren’t meant to be,” she started, talking to Chan-young as her companion got into the car and started it up. “Maybe the next one. Get rid of the girl though.”

The group watched as the two drove off before Chan-young turned to Hyun-su. “Are you okay to move? How’s your shoulder?”

Hyun-su pulled his hand away, the wound already having closed and the blood surrounding it was the only reminder that it was ever there in the first place. He nodded. “It’s okay.”

Chan-young took a few steps closer to him before kneeling beside him and looking at where you rested in his arms. The pain from your ankle and slight burns showed on your leg but you luckily didn’t seem to have any difficulty breathing or major damage. “And her? Are you still okay to carry her?”

Hyun-su nodded once again while he moved his empty hand to once again rest under your knees and stood up. “Yes, I’m okay.”

“I think we’d better go. Monsters may have heard the gunfire,” Chan-young concluded and walked behind Hyun-su as he started the path to his chosen destination, whatever that place may be.

Eun-yu kneeled down to grab her bag and knife before looking back at Hyun-su. “Let’s go.”

He sighed as she started to walk behind him, taking a moment to look at you and make sure you were alright before he followed. He would have to wipe his shoulder down and clean the blood from your face before you woke up. He didn’t feel like worrying you about his injury just yet.

Sighing once more, he turned around and started to follow the two.

They arrived at the destination Chan-young had brought them to. It was a hospital, or at least it used to be. As they got inside, there was broken glass everywhere and scratches from an unnatural creature lining the floor. It was clear it was no longer the medical place it used to be.

Setting Yi-kyung down on the hospital bed they found, Chan-young turned to Hyun-su and asked, “What happened to her?”

“A fire started where she was staying,” he started to explain, still holding you since all the other hospital beds they could find were not exactly clean. At least the one Yi-kyung was lying on didn’t have any blood stains on it. He didn’t mind though. “I think there was no way out. She was already unconscious by the time I made it in.”

“It’s carbon monoxide poisoning,” Chan-young concluded from the evidence provided before standing up urgently and turning to Eun-yu. “Something like a small gas tank should be lying around. Go look for some,” he then turned to Hyun-su who was getting ready to stand and help them. “You should probably stay here,” he told him and Hyun-su stayed silent for a moment as he looked at you in his arms before nodding in agreement. He moved to lean against the wall as the other two went off in different directions to search for the gas tank.

After a while, there was the faint sound of someone yelling, “I found one!” Soon after, both Eun-yu and Chan-young returned to the bed, the boy carrying a gas tank in his hands which he set up next to it. Expertly, he plugged the tube into the tank and turned the air on, testing the pressure and how much oxygen was left in the tank.

“Does it work?” Eun-yu asked just as the arrow pointed to ‘REFILL’ and Chan-young sighed. “What? What is it?”

“It’s out of oxygen,” he explained.

“So what happens now?”

“Her organs will start to fail without… without a steady supply of oxygen,” he told them before his head fell forward. “Fuck me.”

“Enough of that crap. Is there any other way?” Eun-yu begged, unwillingly to give up so soon.

“It’s already too late.”

“Don’t say that unless you’ve tried everything,” she told him seriously, she then moved over to start picking Yi-kyung up by her arms. “Park Chan-young, help me carry her. Let’s get her to the stadium. We have to leave now,” she ordered but he didn’t move and Hyun-su just buried his head in your hair emotionally. “I said help me carry her!” She sobbed, setting her back down when he still didn’t try to help her and covering her face with her hands.

The group just finished moving both you and Yi-kyung to another room, this one finally having another bed that wasn’t stained with blood and smelling of a rotting corpse. Chan-young helped Eun-yu carry Yi-kyung to the room while Hyun-su held you close, only letting you go when they found the bed for you to lie on.

Despite how his monster body protested, he allowed Eun-yu to have a moment alone with you and Yi-kyung in the room, choosing instead to wait on the bench outside. He saw through the crack in the door how she held your hand gently and spoke words he couldn’t hear. He watched as she set your hand down across your stomach and retreated from the room to sit on the bench with him, leaving an empty seat between them.

“Are you feeling better?” Hyun-su asked her once she sat down. She sighed quietly and he took that as her response. “We did the best we could.”

“Are you comfortable with this?” She asked him, not understanding how he could be so calm in a moment like this. “Is leaving her to die like that really the right thing to do?”

“Now that I think about it… I think it’s what she wanted,” he construed and she turned her head to look at him.

“What?”

“Her boat was deliberately burned, but she chose to stay aboard.”

“Why, though?” Eun-yu whispered. “Why would Yi-kyung do that?”

“I wanna ask you something,” Hyun-su told her and she stayed quiet as she waited for him to speak. “How’s everyone doing? I’ve tried asking Lucky but she always gets really quiet when I do.”

Eun-yu’s lips quirked up minutely at the familiar term of endearment but the memory of her grief overwhelmed it. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself before answering him. “Hye-in and Su-yeong are dead. And Yoon Ji-su, too.”

Now Hyun-su knew why you would never talk about it, why you would always get quiet and have that far-away look in your eyes when he asked. He always figured you just didn’t know, that maybe you got separated at some point, but somewhere deep down he knew that was just wishful thinking. While he hated that you didn’t confide in him, he understood where you were coming from. Even a year isn’t always enough time to heal enough to talk about something so tragic.

“Just like that, they’re all gone,” she continued in a whisper. He turned his head away from her as a tear fell down his cheek before she spoke up more loudly this time, masking the emotion in her voice with false confidence. “Now let me ask you a question,” she said. He turned to look at her but she was looking in the direction of where you lay on the hospital bed, head tilted to the side as you breathed easily. “How is she doing, really? Is she better?” Her voice almost broke as she unwillingly thought back to how you were feeling during your time in the stadium but she was able to mask it with a cough. While she was hoping you were doing better now that you were with Hyun-su and hopefully didn’t blame yourself for his disappearance anymore, she had to be sure.

“She’s doing good. She still has her bad days but overall she’s doing better.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, a single tear falling down her cheek. “Thank you.”

He turned his head to look back at her and saw she was now staring at him. “Hm?”

“You brought her back to me. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t at least see her one more time. If I didn’t make sure she was still alive. So thank you.”

He nodded. “Of course.”

“I also,” she continued. “Want to thank you for returning to her,” she shot him a watery smile as her eyes brimmed with tears. “God knows she deserves it.”

When you woke up, the first things you saw were the blaring lights of the white lighting fixture above you. Groaning, you brought a hand up to cover your eyes and turned your head only to gasp when you saw the burned face of Yi-kyung on the bed next to yours. Quickly throwing your legs over the side of the bed and standing up to check on her, you let out a yelp of pain as you stepped on your wounded ankle and crumpled to the floor.

Breathing heavily, you cursed yourself before hearing the sound of fast-paced footsteps entering the room you were in. You leaned up on one hand and saw a face you’d longed to see for weeks.

“Eun-yu?”

The girl snapped her head to where you sat and gasped out your name, running toward you and crouching down. She grabbed your arms and helped you stand up, making you sit on the edge of the bed so she could check out your foot.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, concerned but all you could think about was the woman breathing unevenly on the bed behind her.

“Fine, fine,” you said dismissively, only half listening to her concerns. “How is Yi-kyung? Is she okay?”

Eun-yu slapped your arm lightly. “You were passed out for half a day, let me worry about you.”

You gave a small chuckle at her words, reaching your arms out to wrap around her shoulders. “It’s good to see you, Eun-yu. I’ve missed you.”

She exhaled slowly, wrapping her own arms around you and letting herself relax in your embrace.

“Wait, what am I doing here?” You asked as you softly pushed her away from you. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at the stadium? Are you okay?” You gasped, firing questions at her like a machine gun prior to grabbing the sides of her puffy jacket sleeves and pulling her a few inches closer as you looked her over for any injuries. Other than the small wound on her neck, she seemed to be relatively unharmed.

“That doesn’t matter right now,” she scolded lightly and lifted your wounded and swollen ankle up. “First, we should fix this up. I’m sure there’s some tape or something around here,” she started to walk away but turned back to look at you. “Don’t move,” she scolded with a finger pointed at you accusingly. You held your hands up in a surrender motion and laughed.

After a while of looking around the room, she walked back with a wad of medical tape in her hand. You watched in awe as she started to expertly wrap your foot with the medical tape in a way that would help keep it in place. Noticing your stare, she explained. “I used to do ballet. I sprained my ankle and had to do this every day.”

“Well lucky me then,” you told her with a smile that she returned once she finished. She then cut the ripped pant leg off at the knee and cut the singed parts off. Using the burned-free part of the fabric, she gave you her hand to squeeze as she poured the clear liquid inside a bottle of vodka on your burns. You screamed and stuffed your sleeve into your mouth, both stopping yourself from breaking your teeth and muffling your pained noises. After finishing disinfecting the wound, she got to work on wrapping the cut fabric around your burns to prevent any further dirt from entering it.

Breathing heavily through your pain, you grabbed the nearly empty bottle of vodka after she set it down and lifted it to your nose.

It looked like vodka.

It smelled like vodka.

Taking a sip, your face scrunched up in displeasure.

Definitely vodka, although something was off.

“Why is it so watery?” You asked her. Eun-yu’s head snapped up to see you bring the bottle to your lips again to take another sip.

Grabbing the bottle away from you, she smirked and brought the bottle to her lips, drinking the last of the liquid while you whined. After sighing overexaggeratedly, she smiled at you and handed the bottle back to you. You shot her a glare “For one, when are you ever going to find a steal like that again? Had to make sure it lasted!” You laughed. “And second, regular vodka is too potent to use as a disinfectant by itself, you have to water it down so you don’t burn away your nerves.”

She secured the fabric with the medical tape and tapped your knee to signal she was finished. She helped you down from the table and let you wrap an arm around her shoulder as you limped over to the bench outside of the room. You thanked her just as you saw another familiar face appear around the corner. “Park Chan-young? What are you doing here?”

“Ah, you’re awake! How are you feeling?” He asked instead of answering your question.

“I’m feeling okay, my ankle hurts a little but not too bad,” you told him with a smile before it faded and your head turned to look at Yi-kyung through the still-opened door. “She’s not going to make it, she?”

You heard the two of them sigh behind you and you let out a shaky breath. Tilting your head up, you tried to stop the tears from falling.

It was silent for a while, the only sounds were the ragged breathing from Yi-kyung in the next room until Chan-young spoke.

“Cha Hyun-su, was it?” He asked and your head snapped up to look at him while Eun-yu who was sitting beside you didn’t even flinch. “That’s the monster that killed Mr. Kim, right?”

You opened your mouth to ask what he meant when Eun-yu spoke before you could.

“It gets on my nerves when you use the word ‘kill’.”

He sat down next to her and leaned forward in his chair with his elbows resting on his knees. “Well, nonetheless, that’s how it went down.”

“Your curiosity will cost you someday,” at his silence to her words, she sighed and continued. “Mr. Kim was displaying symptoms.”

The news of this story was no surprise to you. While you weren’t there when it happened, you do remember how Eun-yu had relayed the story to you only a few nights after the incident. You didn’t know she knew it was Hyun-su though, and to be honest you felt slightly betrayed.

“I don’t know when it’d begun.”

“Wait,” Chan-young started, gasping at the new information. “But why didn’t you say anything? You were branded as a murderer.”

“The Chief and I have had… a long-standing grudge. Yet we all lived because she opened the stadium to us. I can’t deny that. I just couldn’t screw her over like that.”

You quietly gasped. Despite the information not being new to you, you hadn’t known the reason she never spoke up was because of that.

“Lee Eun-yu,” Chan-young said softly.

“Eun-yu, you shouldn’t have done that to yourself,” you scolded her quietly.

“Don’t get me wrong. That wasn’t the only reason,” she continued, leaning back in her seat. “I didn’t know it was Hyun-su, but… either way, I didn’t want to tell Crow Platoon.”

Oh. So Eun-yu didn’t know it was Hyun-su. That definitely made you feel better than the idea of her knowing this entire time and just not telling you.

When a sudden gasp was heard from the room Yi-kyung was in, all of your heads snapped up and Chan-young and Eun-yu rushed into the room. You stood up, hopping over to lean against the entrance when you slipped.

Just as your hand missed grabbing the frame of the door, you felt an arm wrap around your waist and pull you back up. Turning your head to look at your savior, you were surprised to see Hyun-su with his arm supporting you and Ah-yi standing beside him, looking at you with just as surprised eyes as you were at her. The boy moved you so you were propped up against the door frame before he stepped into the room.

“Could you step outside for a moment?” He asked the two as they stood beside Yi-kyung’s bed. They hesitated but eventually made their way out of the room. As Hyun-su walked up to the woman, leaning over her as she breathed raggedly, you wrapped your arms around Ah-yi and brought her into a hug.

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry,” you expressed your condolences before pushing her away just enough so you could see her face. “How are you doing?” You asked her as you caressed her cheek and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

She shrugged her shoulders, looking away unconvincingly. “I’m fine. She hated me anyway. I only came for Oppa.”

You tsked and brought her back into your embrace. “You and I both know that’s not true.”

She didn’t respond and Hyun-su turned back to look at the two of you, motioning for Ah-yi to walk in. As she passed by you, you smoothed down the back of her hair and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

Hyun-su walked past her, letting her have her final moment alone with her mother on her deathbed. Instead, he walked over to you, wrapping his arm around your waist to help you walk as you all moved further down the hall to give the girl some space. Once he decided it was far away enough, he moved you over to the wall so you could lean against it and stood beside you. You leaned your head against his shoulder, wanting to give and gain comfort from the action. You all stayed there, silently, for a few minutes until Ah-yi walked down the hall.

Hyun-su popped off the wall and she turned to face the two of you, mainly Hyun-su as he started to speak. “Why are you out here already?”

You leaned forward, grabbing onto his arm to support you as you looked at her. “You should stay with her a while longer,” you insisted softly. Her eyes fluttered down to where the medical tape peeked out above your shoe and the pant leg was taped in place around your calf before she fluttered her eyes back up to yours.

“Mom’s not going to die. So stop crying, please.”

The way she said it gave you a bad feeling and the clattering that came from the direction of the room didn’t help to ease it. Hyun-su turned, making sure you were balanced before rushing over to the room. You glanced at Ah-yi before heading that direction as well, having Eun-yu and Chan-young help you.

“Yi-kyung!” You heard Hyun-su exclaim just as you all got to the doorway. When you looked into the room, you saw Hyun-su on the ground with Yi-kyung held in his arms while tears fell down his cheeks.

You covered your mouth in horror as your own tears started to form. You stayed there, supported only by the door as you all cried over the loss of your friend.

Your eyes shot open when you heard the sound of bones cracking. Her head was thrown backward and her back arched to the point where you were sure that was the bone-breaking sound you heard. The skin on the left side of her body started to turn black, almost as if ash had been painted across it. She started thrashing around, her body contorting inhumanely and her skin releasing a dark, unnatural smoke. As she rolled onto her stomach the bones in her back crunched loudly and she shot up.

You barely had enough time to move out of the way before she ran into the door you were leaning on. Disoriented and dizzy, you couldn’t bring yourself to focus on what was happening around you until you heard the ringing of a gunshot and Yi-kyung’s half-monsterized body fell backward at the waist.

“No, don’t do that!” Hyun-su screamed, rushing forward and moving Chan-young’s hands away while he held fast to the gun.

“It’s too late for her. She’s already gone!” Chan-young yelled at him.

You looked back at the woman to see the gunshot wound already gone, now covered with the same black markings that covered one half of her body. “H-Hyun-su,” you whimpered weakly and both men turned to look back at Yi-kyung. You let out a soft sob as you saw the tear slide down her face.

“Yi-kyung,” Hyun-su whispered and she raised a hand toward him. Reaching for him, she started to walk forward before her other arm, the remaining human arm, reached out to grab her own hand, almost as if to pull her back. “You guys should go back,” he whispered to you all. “Take Lucky with you, she can’t walk on her own.”

“No! Not without you!” You protested but Hyun-su didn’t turn to face you. Eun-yu looked at you hesitantly before turning back to him.

“What about Yi-kyung?” She let out through a sob. “How could she turn so suddenly? She wasn’t showing any symptoms.”

“Her daughter did this to her,” he explained hurriedly.

“Ah-yi…” you whispered in realization.

“She turns people to monsters?” Chan-young questioned, still aiming the gun at Yi-kyung. “Monsterization is uncontrollable by humans.”

“She’s not a human,” you said lowly.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Eun-yu screamed at you just as Yi-kyung rushed forward to jump out the window of the room behind you.

“Leave! Now!” He yelled at them before jumping out the window after her.

“Hyun-su, no!” You cried out, trying to lift yourself to your feet to no avail. Eun-yu and Chan-young, ran to the broken window, looking out as you continued to struggle. “Eun-yu!” You screamed at her and she turned around to face you with widened eyes. “Please! You have to help him! Don’t let him get hurt, please,” you begged her.

She nodded, determined. Turning to Chan-young, he nodded at her and they set off in the direction of the stairs to the bottom floor.

You sat against the glass doors of the room Hyun-su was resting in. For the first hour, you were in there with him, holding him while he cried. After he fell asleep, though, you decided to give him some space. You waited outside, leaning your head back against the cool surface of the glass with your uninjured leg bent and held to your chest while the other was extended outward.

Down the hall, you could see Eun-yu watching you until Chan-young approached her. You looked away as you saw them staring at you. Both had sympathy lacing their gazes that you couldn’t stand to see. Sympathy meant you had something they felt sympathetic towards. You didn’t want to think of what that thing was. All you wanted was to be back at your shed, doing laundry with Hyun-su while Ah-yi sat down on the edge of the river bank with her feet dipping into the water.

But those days were over, at least for the time being.

“What are you gonna do now?” Park Chan-young asked Eun-yu, her gaze still locked onto your form curled up across the hallway.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I found her, and she’s alright. That’s good enough for me. I know she’s in good hands with Cha Hyun-su. I don’t want her to come back to the stadium with us. Not when she was so miserable there,” she told him, thinking for a moment before giving a conclusive answer. “I’m gonna wait for Hyun-su to wake up. I’ll wait with her until then. Then I’ll say my goodbyes and return to the stadium. You?”

“I should get back there,” he decided. “I’ve been gone for too long.”

She nodded in agreement. “Yeah.”

Chan-young gave a final look back at where you sat now with both your knees bent and your face buried in your arms. “Send them my regards, both of them,” he told her and she nodded up at him. “I’ll see you at camp.”

With a moment of hesitation, he turned in the direction of the stairs and started walking toward them.

It had been a couple of hours since Hyun-su fell asleep. Eun-yu had dozed off about an hour ago but you couldn’t bring yourself to shut your eyes for too long. So you sat there, your eyes staring off into the distance, unfocused and blurred. It wasn’t until the sun started to set, the light shining through the blinds of the windows and casting a golden orange glow onto the tile floor that you snapped out of your daze. Carefully bringing yourself to a standing position, you turned around, opened the door, and walked through. Your eyes immediately went to where Hyun-su was previously lying down, but when you didn’t find him there, you panicked. Raising your eyes, you let out a breath of relief when you saw him sitting on the bed next to the windows, leaning back on his right arm and swaying slightly.

“Hyun-su?” You asked softly but received no response. Walking closer, you saw his eyes were closed as he continued to sway. It seemed like he was barely conscious and his body kept falling right before he caught it, over and over again. Reaching the point that you were standing right in front of him, you reached up to place your hand on his right cheek, a feeling he immediately leaned into. “Oh, lovely,” you whispered. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

About to pull your hand away from his cheek to clear the pillows and blankets piled on the bed behind him, you stopped when his left hand shot up and grabbed onto your wrist, keeping you in place. Confused and concerned, you brought your other hand up to hold his other cheek. “Hyun-su?” You asked. “Are you okay?”

He slowly opened his eyes and you gasped once you saw them.

You’d only seen him like this once before and it was after he protected you from a particularly strong monster. Halfway through the battle, all of his mannerisms changed and he moved completely differently. It wasn’t until the monster ran away, Hyun-su covered in its blood yet not a scratch on him, that you saw his eyes.

You weren’t scared. You could never be scared.

Not of him.

Never of him.

But it did surprise you.

After he returned to his normal self, he told you about how he tried to never go into that state of being because he wasn’t in full control. Despite the honest way you told him he would never hurt you and that you trusted him, he still kept the monster side of him tucked away as much as possible.

It seemed that wasn’t the case right now, though.

“Why are you here?” You whispered to him, your voice not at all accusing or scared, not even a little bit tentative.

“You don’t want me here?” He questioned. It was so strange to see Hyun-su’s body and hear Hyun-su’s voice but know it wasn’t him, at least not completely.

“I didn’t say that,” you told him, your eyes lightly scolding him in a way that made his lips quirk. “I just asked why you were here. Is he…” you hesitated, still unsure of how to fully phrase questions when he was in this state. “Are you okay?”

“He’s hurt. Let him rest for a bit,” he explained as he leaned more into your palm. His grip on your wrist hadn’t been all too tight to begin with but it still softened to a loose hold as he kept eye contact with you.

You nodded at his words, brushing your thumb along his cheekbone and your lips curving into a subtle smile when his eyes closed contently. “Is that why you’re here?” You whispered, not wanting to break the calm atmosphere. His eyes opened again and he stared at you. “To help him with the pain?” He nodded and you sighed. It wasn’t the physical pain on his body either of you meant, and you both knew that. The pain of losing Yi-kyung, and then losing her again at his own hands was too much for him. It most certainly would have been too much for you, so you couldn’t blame him. Not that you would have anyway.

He tightened the grip he had on your wrist and gently brought it away from his cheek before releasing it completely. He turned his head to look forward in the mirror in front of him and used the hand once holding your wrist to move the collar of his shredded jacket away from his shoulder. You winced as you saw the wounded skin there, bringing a hand up to do something but hesitating. Instead, you looked around the room before your eyes lit up as you found what you were looking for. You released his face from the hand still holding his cheek and turned around, taking a step forward with your good foot. He leaned forward, leaning off his right hand and using it to grab ahold of your wrist. You looked back at him.

“Stay,” he said simply and you smiled.

“I’m not going far.”

He held onto your wrist for a while longer before softly sliding it down to the tips of your fingers and slowly releasing you, all the while keeping eye contact. You felt the heat rising to your cheeks and turned before he could tell how flustered you were at the simple action. Taking another step, you tried to hide the limp in your walk and mask the pain on your face as you grabbed the materials and returned to where he was seated. Setting the medical supplies down next to him, you reached for the pillow behind him and took off the pillowcase surrounding it. Grabbing the mostly empty bottle of rubbing alcohol, you poured some onto the pillowcase before using one hand to pull the collar away to reveal the dirty wound underneath.

You raised your gaze to his eyes only to find them already looking back at you. “This’ll probably sting,” you told him sorrowfully. You waited a moment for him to acknowledge your words but he just continued to stare at you with a blank, yet almost soft, look. You used your other hand to hold the alcohol-soaked pillowcase and bring it up to his wound where you carefully started dabbing away the blood and dirt. Looking over at him every few seconds to see if he was in pain, you found none each time whilst he didn’t take his eyes off you. Once the blood was cleared away and the pillowcase was thoroughly stained, it was clear to see the wound was much smaller and less serious than it originally seemed. A fact that made you sigh in relief.

Before you could reach for the bandages to cover his wound with, Hyun-su grabbed your waist and pulled you to stand in between his legs.

“Wha-?” You started to question but stopped when his arms wrapped around your waist in a hug. His head turned to the side and he rested it against your stomach. It didn’t take long for you to return the hug, albeit a little confused and startled.

“You know I love you, right?”

The sentence sounded slightly muffled, and you weren’t sure which version of Hyun-su was speaking, but regardless, you answered, “I know.”

His arms tightened around you, a comforting and promising squeeze. “And you know I’m never letting you go again,” he paused, turning to look up at you. It was both a surprise and yet not when you saw one of his eyes was still the bright blue he had in his monster form, but the other had returned to his natural brown. “Right?”

You placed your hands on his cheeks, leaning down to leave a tender kiss on his forehead.

“I know.”

589 notes · View notes

train-wrecc · 4 months

Text

stars around my scars || Cha Hyun-Su x Reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings & tags: so soft, fluff, angst because it's sweet home, hurt/comfort, kissing, touch-starved!hyun-su, a little suggestive but it's not too bad, hyun-su needs a hug and he gets that and more eheh

previous one-shot

A/N: this can be read on its own or read as a part of the little hyun-su x reader series i've got going on at the moment! no particular context needed for this one, but i wrote it in like two hours so i hope you'll enjoy it.

Hyun-Su sits at your table like he’s not sure he has the right to be there. He’s been less cautious around you lately, less distant, now that he knows that you accept him wholeheartedly for who he is, all that he is, even the dark, ugly parts that he tried to keep from you. But sometimes, when he is in the space that is so clearly yours, he still makes himself small, as if he thinks you’d kick him out if you remembered he was there.

It doesn’t matter that you invited him in and insisted he stayed. The fear that you could change your mind at any point, that the longer he’s around, the more he risks showing you a part of him you won’t like, that’s what sticks.

When you sit down across from him, he notices your eyes landing on his bruised knuckles, sees your brow furrows. Sheepishly, he removes his hand from the table.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” you ask.

You ask that a lot. Worry a lot. Selfishly, he likes that you do.

“It’s fine,” he replies, voice quiet. “It will heal.”

The wounds won’t get infected, they won’t kill him, and they’ll go away eventually. So, sure, it stings as long as they’re open, but he’s long stopped bothering with cleaning or treating them. Who cares about his pain anyway?

“That’s not the point,” you say, reaching out for his hand. He doesn’t resist when you take it in yours. How could he? Your fingers are soft, gentle, your skin is warm. It’s like he melts into your touch, like his muscles turn into lead.

It also makes him greedy, makes him want to know what it would do if you touched him more, in different ways. Inside him, the monster stirs, and Hyun-Su forces it back down.

You lift his hand and blow on the wounds that mar his knuckles. The gesture is childish, and despite himself, a smile breaks on his face.

“That’s not going to change much.”

He notices belatedly how fond his voice sounds. He’s usually so careful not to let it be so obvious, but you just surprised it out of him. If you notice, you don’t let it show. Instead, you roll your eyes at him — until you get another idea.

He looks at you in bemused interest as you lower your face towards his hand. And then he realizes what you’re doing, and his heart skips a beat.

You glance up at him, a silent request for his approval, before you go any further. He doesn’t know how to give it to you, doesn’t know if he should, if it’s safe.

He also doesn’t take his hand away.

Your lips press gently against his knuckles, and it sends a jolt through him that ignites his whole body. He can’t see himself, but he’s sure he’s blushing. When you meet his eyes again, he averts his immediately, swallows, clears his throat. But then he feels you open your fingers, letting his hand slip from your grasp, and he tightens his hold on you at the last second. He cannot bear the thought of losing your touch, not just yet.

“That—” His voice cracks. “That does help.”

“Oh,” you say, and then your thumb runs over his hand in a soft caress. He exhales, long and slow. He’d do anything for you not to let go of him.

When you stand up, his head shoots up, eyes following you like a puppy — only for you to get closer to him. You roll your lips together, still searching his expression for approval. You trace a wound on his shoulder, one he doesn’t even remember getting, if he’s being honest.

“Would it help here?” you ask.

Hyun-Su’s whole body is buzzing with the absolute, desperate need to be touched again.

All he can do is nod.

You lean in, kiss his shoulder, and he closes his eyes. He wants to drown in you. He wants you to run your hands over his body, he wants to touch you so bad, and he hates himself for remaining so still. But then you touch his cheek, trace his jaw, and he’s so infinitely thankful that you do what he can’t.

You’re the one who’s not meeting his eyes this time, as your index finger brushes against his bottom lip. There’s no wound there, they’re just chapped, and yet…

“How about here?”

He’s almost shaking in anticipation by now. He thinks he’d kill to be kissed by you — he knows the monster would. But again, he just nods.

So, standing in front of him, between his legs, you cup his cheek in the gentlest of ways, like he’s precious, and you kiss him again. It’s soft, gentle, just lips against lips. You make a delicate sound when you part from him, and he regrets the loss of it immediately. It must be why he blurts out, before you can move any further “It still hurts.”

Your eyes go wide for a second, before a smile stretches your lips. He only gets a second to ask himself if he asked for too much, if you’re going to be disgusted with him for daring to ask, if—

You kiss him again, a little harder this time, nose pressing against his cheek. Your hands move to the back of his neck to support yourself better. Hyun-Su feels you part your lips, feels your tongue against his mouth, and that is when he loses it.

He’s happy that you have your eyes closed because, even though he feels fully in control of himself at the moment, he’s not sure which color you’d see in his just now.

He pulls you into his lap, hands on your hips at first before he moves one of them, just a little, to the small of your back. You’re all over him now, body against his, scent overwhelming, your taste on his tongue. The apartment would be quiet, if it wasn’t for the sound of your mouths together, and for the rush of his blood in his ears.

You gasp quietly into him, your teeth catch against his bottom lip and it makes him shiver. He dares then, caught in the euphoria of it all perhaps, to reach up to touch your face, long fingers stroking your cheek. His skin is on fire everywhere you touch it, but he wouldn’t give it up for the world, and he finds itself praying it never ends.

Yet it does, fairly abruptly, when he realizes, suddenly, that he’s falling. On instinct, he wraps his arms around you to protect you, and then the two of you hit the floor. The chair had to have tipped backwards at some point, without the two of you noticing.

There’s a moment of stunned silence afterwards, before you let out a quiet laugh, hiding your face in his shoulder.

Much to his surprise, he hears himself laugh as well. It just feels easy to do, when you’re in his arms. His heart is still pounding, his lips are tingling, and his breathing is shallow, but he’s feeling emotions he hasn’t felt in years.

He’s happy.

Deep inside of him, the monster takes a step back, satiated.

For now, anyway.

i've really loved writing this and i'm quite happy with the end result, especially for something i wrote so quickly, so i hope you liked it too! please let me know your thoughts either on here, in tags, in an ask or reblog the fic, it means the world to me and it lets me know you want to see more, so it keeps me motivated!

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train-wrecc · 5 months

Text

put your arms around me and i'm home || Cha Hyun-Su x Reader

summary: In the dead of winter, you have to do a run to go get fuel for your generator. Things go wrong, but fortunately, Hyun-Su is here to save you.

word count: 3.7k

warnings & tags: canon-typical violence, gore, monsters, hyun-su and reader get injured, reader briefly thinks hyun-su is dead, monster!hyun-su makes a brief appearance, hyun-su needs a hug and he gets one!, angst, hurt/comfort, season 2 canon compliant.

previous one-shot

A/N: this can be read on its own, but there is another one-shot, if you're interested! for context, this takes place during season 2. reader and hyun-su know each other from high school and reader runs into hyun-su after the events of the first three episodes. reader also doesn't know that he is a monster/neohuman.

You’re not one to get caught off guard, not usually. You’ve always been cautious, measured, far-sighted. It had been an advantage back in high school, and you’re pretty sure it’s what kept you alive thus far.

Yet, in this new world that you never asked to be a part of, unforeseen complications were the norm. You could plan, and plan, and plan ahead, but here you were, freezing in your living room, because the biting cold of the lasting winter meant that you’d run out of fuel for your small generator, and everything else you used to generate electricity wasn’t functioning the way it should.

If you didn’t want to freeze to death, you had to act, and act quick.

You’d already held out a few more days than was reasonable, hoping that the weather would clear and your solar panels would be useful again, or — but you hadn’t dared to voice that thought — that Hyun-Su would come by, and you could ask for his help. He’d offered before, after all, even if he had always kept you at arm’s length whenever you’d returned the favor.

But things were dire now, and you couldn’t wait any longer, so you’re kneeling in your living-room, preparing yourself for a hazardous trip in the outside, shivering as you do. Things are dangerous enough on a good day, but the snow that’s been continuously falling only makes you dread it more. It swallows sounds, means you’ll leave tracks behind you, and you’ll consume twice as much energy just to move around.

The last thing you pack is a map, which you make sure to keep available, though you hope you won’t need it in between breaks.

You’re heading for a four-stories parking lot, where you hope you’ll find fuel in one of the cars, but that’s not the dangerous part. What’s risky is that monsters love these kinds of places, with all their nooks and crannies, all the dark places to hide, and fear already has your heart beating twice as fast as usual before you’ve even opened your door.

Still, you take a steadying breath, haul the backpack over on your shoulders, and exit the house without making a sound.

Everything is quiet outside. Snow is falling gently, and the sight would be heart-warming, if it wasn’t for all the overturned cars, the gaping hole torn into the building opposite from yours by one of those missiles a few months ago, and the worrying fresh footprints going towards the river. The snow also covers the decomposing bodies, and you can only hope that you don’t accidentally step on one as you start walking.

At least it fills your tracks behind you. By the time you’ve reached the other side of the street, which was one once an impossible task due to how bad traffic you used to be, nothing leads back to your door, and you leave with, at least, the reassurance that home will still be here waiting for you when you come back.

If you come back.

There’s comfort in knowing that you’d planned well, this time, to get to the parking lot. You get to your destination with only expected complications. You spot the monsters before they spot you. You have to reroute twice, but that had been accounted for, and you don’t even have to pull out your map. You reach the building right before noon, and after surveying it for a few minutes, you let yourself in before you can chicken out.

In the dark, you make your way to the first floor, where you will be able to have the greyish light of the day, instead of having to use precious batteries for your flashlight.

It’s not long before you’ve picked out the car, a familial minivan with an untouched baby seat in the back. You try not to think about the people it belonged to as you kneel by the side and prepare to siphon the tank. You make quick work of preparing it, with the tanks and hoses you’d brought for that purpose.

Maybe it’s your confidence that’s to blame for what happens next, or maybe it’s another one of these unforeseeable accidents. Either way, you catch movement from the corner of your eye and you jerk your head back as a reflex, but you’re not fast enough and unnaturally long claws dig into your cheek.

You manage not to scream despite the pain, scramble back and away from the van. There, standing on the roof, is a creature. Though it stands on two legs, there is nothing human about it anymore. The side of its face are sagging and drooping like it’s centuries old, covering where you assume its shoulders would be. It brings its claws to its lips, and your realize with horror that your blood is dripping from them.

Bleeding, in this world, might as well be a death sentence. You don’t bother wasting energy in stopping the tears from spilling from your eyes.

“Younnnnng,” the monster screeches. “Give— meeeeee…”

It at least snaps you out of the stupor, and you grab your bat, unwilling to go down without a fight.

But it’s not much of a fight, not when the scent and the noise are waking up all the other creatures hibernating around here.

You swing wildly as the thing, and manage to send it tumbling back. It’s only a short respite though, considering pain is only ever short lived for them, while blood is dripping down your chin and onto the concrete.

You throw your backpack on your shoulders with trembling hands and grab the first cannister that you’ve filled, abandoning the rest behind to start sprinting towards the exit.

You already know you won’t make it. You know you’ll have to run through the pitch dark ground floor, which is no doubt filled with more of those nightmares, and that the chances you’ll make it out on the other side are slim to none.

But you owe it to yourself fight until the very end.

As it stands, you don’t even make it to the downward slope that leads there. There’s the sound of something charging towards you, and then the— the head, it has to be, of a bull-like thing catches you in the ribs, and sends you flying into a car. Your breath is instantly knocked out of you, your vision goes blurry, your head starts reeling. You’re aware of the thing crashing into a concrete pillar. It at least stays there, struggling to pull itself out, but that’s barely any relief, because soon enough the first creature is calling out to you again, stretching out a skeletal arm towards you.

“Younnnnnng… Give meeeee…”

It kicks you in the ribs, and you roll onto your back, only to be met with the horrifying sight of its arm in the air, claws out and ready, preparing to cut your throat open.

You refuse to close your eyes.

And then, just as you think everything lost, someone steps in between you and the monster, blocking its arm with your very own baseball bat. You stare blankly at the large back, the unkept black hair, as the man forces it to step back and kicks it in the chest.

Then Hyun-Su turns around, and holds his hand out towards you.

He looks nothing like what you’re used to. He’s usually so lost, so hesitant, when he comes to you. Now he’s focused, purposeful, and in many ways, he reminds you of the boy you once knew, the captain of the football team who would without fail lead his team to victory.

“Let’s go,” he urges you, and when you weakly take his hand, he pulls you to your feet effortlessly.

You wheeze as the two of you run to hide behind a car. You press your free hand against your ribs, hoping to lessen the pain — it doesn’t work, of course.

“It’s going to find me,” you mumble to Hyun-Su as he keeps an eye on the thing. “It can— It can smell my blood.”

Hyun-Su’s head snaps towards you, and his expression darkens at the sight of the wound on your cheek. He lifts his hand halfway, as if to touch it, then lets it fall down again.

“You should—” Your voice breaks. “You should go. If it can find me… It’s not the only one.”

A strange expression that you can’t quite decipher passes on his face, before he shakes his head firmly.

“I’m not leaving you here.”

The relief you feel when he says those words is immediately overshadowed by embarrassment. You shouldn’t be happy. He needs to go, or he will die here with you, and what would the point be in that?

“What— What are you even doing here? How—”

You don’t know if he doesn’t answer on purpose, or if he hears a sound that takes his attention away from you.

“Can you run?” he asks you, glancing over the car.

Your body’s going to hurt like hell when the adrenaline wears out, but for now you give him a decided nod.

“Do you trust me?”

You should probably take your time to answer him, actually think about the question.

“Yes,” you answer instead, like it’s a reflex.

He exhales quietly, squeezes your hand in his.

“Then run.”

Then he’s pulling with him, running at full speed towards the open wall of the parking lot. Fear spikes through you. Even though you’re only on the first floor, it’s still too high to land comfortably. That fear is completely erased by the sight that greets you, briefly, of monsters stumbling and climbing all over each other to make their way up from the ground floor. There is a whole swarm of them teeming here already, and you can’t think of any other way to make it out alive — frankly, you have a hard time believing that this will work. But you cling to your faith in Hyun-Su like your life depends on it, because it does, and when he yells for you to jump, you do it without question.

While you’re flailing in the air, you feel him pulling you towards him. Strong arms wrap around you, and keep you caged and safe. You hit the ground brutally, rolling on the floor until you land on top of him.

“Fuck,” you mumble, painfully pushing you onto your elbows. “Hyun-Su, are— are you okay?”

The obvious answer to the question is ‘no’, and yet Hyun-Su doesn’t look worse for wear as he sits up, his eyes instead going over your body to make sure you weren’t too badly injured.

If you shiver when his hands run up and down your arms, it isn’t because of the cold.

“Let’s move,” he says, letting go of you all too quickly.

But, by the time you’re both on your feet, monsters attracted by the smell of your blood have started falling from the parking lot. The two of you sprint, but you’re no match for them and you know it. You regain the tiniest hope when you make it past a corner, thinking that maybe, just maybe, the snow will swallow your smell if you hide well enough — and then something wraps around your ankle.

In a second, you’re torn out of Hyun-Su’s grasp, and when you manage to roll onto your back to see who your assailant is, all you can do is let out an inhumane scream.

This particular monster has eight legs, like a spider, and its somewhat human torso and head is completed by two long mandibles instead of a jaw. You manage to grab a knife from your pocket, but by the time you can cut its— web, you suppose, it’s charging towards you at full speed, and it’s close, too close for you to even get on your feet before—

When it attacks you, the first thing you see is what you first identify as a black wing, before you realize that it’s made out of a complex mix of flesh, bone and other materials that you can’t quite recognize, instead of feathers.

The wing pushes the creature back, and then Hyun-Su’s back is in front of you once more.

It’s his, you realize, brain awfully slow all of sudden. The wing. It’s attached to his shoulder, and all you can do is stare in confusion and horror. It flutters as he turns around to look at you.

You’re not fully in control when you scramble back, whole body shaking — because of the second near-death experience in ten minutes or because you’re terrified, you don’t know. What you do know is how hurt he looks, and how he turns his head the other way to face the monsters that are still coming after the two of you.

“You should run,” he says, low enough that you could miss it. He sounds hollow again. “Don’t turn around.”

You shake your head quietly, try to form some words. They all fail you. You don’t— you have no clue what’s happening. All that you know is that Hyun-Su is a monster and that he’s just used that to save your life.

The wave of monsters reach him just a few seconds later, before you’ve managed to decide anything. He pushes them back with practiced ease, one by one. You hate that you’re just sitting here, unable to move, as he fights for your life, yet your body just refuses to answer to you, even if you’re begging it to react.

Soon, the spider is the last one standing — or rather, the last one who hasn’t yet decided that you’d make a fairly meager lunch, considering how hard it is to get to you. It keeps attacking, and Hyun-Su keeps pushing it back, again, and again, until the creature manages to ensnare him in its web. Hyun-Su writhes, manages to pull his wing free, but it’s clear that he’s now at a disadvantage, and the mandibles click threateningly as the monster gets closer and closer to him.

Finally, your body agrees to react.

You run.

You don’t go very far though. You find the cannister you’d dropped and then you’re rushing back to throw the gasoline at the creature, half emptying it. The monster wasn’t paying attention to you, too busy trying to bite Hyun-Su’s head off, but its head snaps towards you when the liquid reaches it. It lets out a threatening hiss, which you ignore.

Instead, you find the lighter in your pocket.

Aim.

And throw.

The screams start right away, but it drops Hyun-Su, at least, as it tries to escape the fire.

For a second, you think you’ve made it — you’ve both made it, that is. Hyun-Su pulls himself to his feet. The wing flutters again, slowly starts to retreat back into his body to go back to a human arm.

He looks at you, expression unreadable.

And then one of the spider’s limb pierces through his chest. It’s not even calculated this time — just a movement it’s making as it tries to free itself from the flames that are consuming it.

You hear yourself scream. You don’t remember asking your body to move, this time, but you know that a second later you’re reaching Hyun-Su as he falls to his knees, and your arms are around him while you cradle him, pulling his head into your lap. Tears fall down your cheeks and onto his, as one of your hands tries, and fails, to apply pressure to the gaping wound, even if you know there is no point.

“No,” you beg. “No, no, no, no… Please, please, someone, please…”

You don’t know how many times you say it, how long you stay there. Snow starts to cover both his body and yours, and you realize you have a decision to make, if you don’t want to freeze to death. You just can’t bring yourself to do it.

Until Hyun-Su’s lifeless body arches in your arms with a gasp.

When his eyes open, they’re a clear, cold, uncanny blue.

You don’t dare to do anything then — not to let go of him, not to move away, not to break eye contact. It makes no sense, but you’re afraid that the slightest movement would have him gone again.

Slowly, his lips curve into a smirk, an expression you’ve never seen on him before. You’ve seen him smile, bright and sincere, and more recently, soft and subdued. But this amused, flirtatious smirk, that is completely new.

“You’re still here,” he comments, casually getting up, like nothing happen, like he can’t feel pain, like there isn’t a hole in his chest.

Even his voice is different. There’s a drawl to it, light and lazy, like he has all the time in the world.

“Hyun-Su?” you say, unsure of what’s happening. He was dead a minute ago. Then again, now that he’s breathing again, your brain is able to form the thought that he is a monster. An abnormal one, sure, and you don’t know enough to draw any conclusion, but it could be an explanation.

The smirk widens.

“Close enough,” he answers. “Are you scared?”

You’re not sure. You think you’re too emotionally exhausted to be scared.

“Should I be?” you ask. Maybe you shouldn’t trust this version of him to tell you the truth, and yet— All your senses are telling you that this is still Hyun-Su. And you don’t think he’d do anything to hurt you. Ever.

“It would break him if you got hurt,” not-Hyun-Su says, tilting his head. He lifts his index finger to tilt your head up. “I don’t want him broken.”

“Is he—” You interrupt yourself, unsure of what even is happening right now. But before you can start asking for answers, there is something you need to know. “Is Hyun-Su okay right now?”

He scoffs.

“He’s taking a break,” he replies. “He’s worked hard.” A beat while he seems to think about it. “Also, he thinks you hate him now.”

“I could never hate him,” you say, too easily, because it’s just the truth.

“Well, he is a monster,” not-Hyun-Su says with a shrug. He doesn’t seem to mean it as an insult, just stating a fact. You suppose he’s not wrong, and yet…

“The people I loved all turned into monsters,” you whisper quietly. Your mother, before you even made it home. Your best friend, who begged for death so she wouldn’t hurt others. Your father, who disappeared to protect you. You miss them all so much it sometimes feel like your heart’s been ripped out of your chest, and you’d give anything to have them back. So, if there is any way that you can still have Hyun-Su… “As long— as long as he’s not trying to kill me, does it really matter?”

The man watches you with interest, tilting his head to the side. It’s interesting. You haven’t been hurt by this world the way others have. Monsters caused death and destruction, but you watched half-monsters doing their very best to avoid hurting others, not unlike what Hyun-Su is doing right now.

The monster in him wonders what it would take, to destroy that ill-placed trust in others around you. The rest of him… is far too intrigued to give in. He grabs your chin between his thumb and his index finger, pulls your face closer to his.

“Doesn’t it?” he echoes your words. “What if I do hurt you?”

You swallow, call back the images of Hyun-Su easily taking out these monsters earlier. But you can’t forget that he’d been doing it to protect you.

“Y–You won’t,” you reply, even if your stutter betrays your lack of confidence.

It’s a leap of faith, but it seems to amuse him.

“For now,” he says, before his eyes roll into his head and Hyun-Su collapses in your arms.

You stumble back, barely manage to keep him up, before he seems to regain some control over his limbs and starts coughing. Even then, you don’t let go of him. You wrap both of your arms around him, head resting against his shoulder, and keep him there, against you.

Hyun-Su remains still for a while, breathing pained and ragged. The snow is still falling, but his body is warm.

“Are you okay?” he whispers with a hoarse voice.

“I am,” you answer. “Thanks to you.”

He lets out a pained sigh.

“Did he— Did he hurt you?”

You shake your head, barely moving away so you can look at him. He doesn’t look at you, keeps his eyes — black again, you note — fixedly in the other direction.

Like he can’t bear to know which emotion is on your face right now.

“I’m so happy you’re alive,” you say quietly. “I thought— I thought I’d lost you forever.”

Silence.

“Don’t leave me,” you beg, voice so low and broken you don’t think he’d hear if he wasn’t inches from you.

Hyun-Su’s body starts shaking against yours. Finally, finally, he wraps an arm around your waist, burying his head in your neck, and wet tears roll down your collarbone. In the freezing cold weather, they feel burning hot.

“Don’t hate me,” he begs in response, crying in your arms, fingers digging to the fabric of your clothes in a desperate attempt to keep you there, against him — even if there is no need for that right now.

You wish you could tell him that he just saved your life, that he’s been a guiding light in your cold, dark life this past few months, that you love him more than words can say. But that would take too long, and the situation calls for something shorter, more direct, and just as meaningful.

“You’re the only good thing about this world,” you say instead, and he sucks in a sharp breath.

Under the snow, for long minutes, Hyun-Su holds you like he never wants to let go.

When the two of you eventually detach from each other, he keeps your hand in his the whole walk home.

i hope you liked this installment! i'm probably going to write something much softer next, still for this couple (but it's hyun-su so it's still going to be angsty). if you're enjoying this, please let me know your thoughts, reblog or send in an ask. hearing from readers is so motivating and makes me want to keep writing!

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train-wrecc · 6 months

Note

IM BEGGING FOR CP PT. 3

👁️🫦👁️

ikk i’m sorry 😔 i’ve had major writers block & haven’t been able to write anything 😭

#marcus baker #marcus baker x reader

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train-wrecc · 8 months

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September will be filled with happiness.

September will be filled with blessings.

September will be filled with positivity.

September will be filled with progress.

September will be filled with kindness.

September will be filled with opportunity.

September will be filled with love.

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train-wrecc · 9 months

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fanfic should be fun fic. if you are not having fun, please step away, take a break, do whatever you need to in order to have fun with this hobby we share

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train-wrecc · 9 months

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like the dawn- series masterlist

summary: the first superheroes, the soldiers out of time, the worst troublemakers of the avengers. steve rogers, james barnes, and (y/n) (l/n) have many titles. but before they became national heroes, they were an inseparable trio on the streets of brooklyn.

relationships: steve rogers x winged!poc!reader x bucky barnes

warnings: cussing, violence, the angst that is bucky’s time in hydra, mentions and references to racism, misogyny, and homophobia, idk pining?

this series is complete!

(pictures are not mine!)

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

part i- until the end of the line?

“we were children thrust into a war. and once it ends, what will we become?” -unknown

it all begins with a pinkie promise

part ii- the star-spangled man with a plan

“i’m fed up to the ears of old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in” -george mcgovern

local asthmatic does something very stupid immediately after being told not to

part iii- not without you

“show me a hero, and i’ll write you a tragedy” - f. scott fitzgerald

are you ready to follow captain america into the jaws of death?

part iv- the train and the plane

“i don’t know who sold the homeland, but i know who paid the price” - mahmoud darwish

in the span of weeks, you lose everything

part v- the captain, the winter soldier, and the angel

“you were destined for the glory, the honor and the fame. i was destined for the bullet, to be the gun with no name.” - a.j (via ddaredevil)

who are you?

part vi- the man on the bridge

“in nostalgia, there is no difference between a day, a year, a decade, or a lifetime, because the amount of longing is beyond the idea of time.” - gibran khalil gibran

the fall of hydra and shield, and the rise of something beyond the winter soldier and the angel of death.

part vii- the apartment

“when does memory end and love begin? all i know is- she loved him before she remembered him.” - ritika jyala

even as you and bucky go on the run, the trio can’t stay apart for long.

part viii- mission report

“if the devil was to ever see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent” - farouq jwaydeh”

an airport, a quinjet, and 13 superheroes kicking the shit out of each other. what more could you want?

part ix- freefall

“i wish i had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep and there are no words for that.” - brian andreas

so the avengers are stuck in the compound while the world fights over the accords. great time to pine over your best friends!

part x- the letters

“i’m afraid of a lot of things, but mostly, most sincerely, i am afraid of being completely unraveled by you, and you finding nothing you want in here” - l.m. dorsey

you aren’t quite ready to face the subject of the letters. but yours boys will wait as long as you need.

part xi- the raft

“after all these years of bearing this pain alone, all i want is for you to hold me, and maybe put me back together again” - sarah doughty

normalize blaming thaddeus ross for every single problem in the world

part xii- the bed, the mirror, the couch

“show me the most damaged parts of your soul, and i will show you how it still shines like gold” - nikita gill

three times when everything seems right

part xiii- healing

“a monster is not such a terrible thing to be” - ocean vuong

good friends, the history channel, late nights in bed, and two bowls of fruit become the foundations for growth.

part xiv- the calm before the storm

“one day, you and i are gonna wake up and be alright. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. one day, i promise you” - fisher amelie

the road to recovery begins

part xv- the canyon

“to me you are the desert and the sea and everything secretive” - ingeborg bachmann

a well-needed vacation is taken

part xvi- the storm

“i want you to always remember me. will you remember that i existed, and that i stood next to you here like this?” - haruki murakami

you just can’t catch a break, can you?

part xvii- dust and blood

“if you must die, i’ll envy even the earth that wraps your body” - albert camus

“not without you”… right?

part xviii- the time heist

“am i supposed to be grateful to have survived this?” - brenna twohy

five years go by but you’re stuck in place

part xix- the endgame

“just because you are soft doesn’t mean you are not a force. honey and wildfire are both the color gold.” - victoria erickson

the shield, the gun, the bow

part xx- until the end of the line.

“i knew i did from that first moment we met. it was… not love at first sight exactly, but familiarity. like: oh, hello, it’s you. it’s going to be you.” - mhairi mcfarlane

it all ends with a pinkie promise

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train-wrecc · 9 months

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The devil works hard but fanfic writers work harder

Ps. Y’all are amazing and the most creative writers ❤︎. keep up the amazing work ✩

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train-wrecc · 9 months

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me @ y/n when they do something i’d never do:

like babe this isn’t us ?? get it together

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train-wrecc · 10 months

Note

I loved your high school sweethearts imagine and I was hoping if you could do that with Nate jacobs? But like Nate and the reader have 3 kids ( 2 boys 1 girl the girl being the youngest) and the reader is pregnant again with another boy so like the little girl is Nate’s little princess? :)

Till death do us part- Nate Jacobs x female reader

Spending your high school years in an off and on again relationship wasn’t how you would imagine high school to be. 7years later your best friend Lexi invites you to her engagement party, now the real question is are you and Nate still together?

Warnings: the reader and Nate having a bad relationship in high school, brief smut MDI (I needed it to set the beginning of the story), alcohol, mentions of Cal, toxic masculinity (for context wise Maddy didn’t date Nate in this) super fluffy Nate towards the end

A/N: aww thanks I’m glad that you loved high school sweethearts. I loved writing this, and it maybe a little bit self indulgent by having Lexi and Maddy being the reader’s best friends as they are my favourite characters. This is my first Euphoria fic so I hope that you enjoy it and I’ve done it justice. Sorry if some parts sound over British as I’m from the U.K. apologises for all spelling and grammatical mistakes as I’m super dyslexic, enjoy

You gasped for air rolling your eyes into the back of your head as Nate thrusted into you, moaning your name as he spilt his seed across your velvety walls.

You both panted as you recovered from your climax. Nate lifted his fingers brushing away the strands of hair that clutch to your forehead from the exhaustion you’ve just experienced. He pulled out of you, you both whimpered from the lack of contact.

“This shouldn’t happen again”

“Babe you say this every time”

You panted trying to regain your breath. Trying your hardest to regulate your breathing into a normal rhythm. Nate knew how to make you feel so good to the point that you were putty in his hands.

But you’ve been broken up for over 2 months you should allow yourself to move on but it’s hard when Nate narrows his eyes, locking you in his gaze swatting off all men that ever showed the slightest bit of interest in you.

You broke up for a reason as he was the biggest asshole you had ever met, he was controlling but yet you couldn’t let go. For Nate is a siren drawing you to your untimely death. With a face as pretty as his, he could make the grey thrashing waters appear blue and tranquil. One thing about Nate Jacobs was once you were under his spell it was impossible to escape.

“I mean it Nate, we’re supposed to be over. I can’t move on when you scare off every man who shows me the slightest bit of attention. I’m not yours anymore you have to let me go” you sighed, allowing your head to slump into the plush pillow of your bed. Pinching the bridge of your nose, praying that he actually got the message this time, not continuing this nauseating game of cat and mouse which had been happening for weeks with you always ending up underneath him.

“Babe..” his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his arms wrapped protectively over your body. Almost chaining you to the spot, limiting your movements, hoping to silence your following words.

“Nate I mean it. Please you’re going to have to let me go-“ your words were cut short by Nate throwing you out of his embrace, as if your body was a poison that burnt him to touch. He scurried around your room collecting his clothes from the heap on the floor , as when you were both deeply in the throes of lust to care where they ended up, you just needed the clothes off your body as soon as possible.

Nate made a point of crashing his foot upon the wooden floorboards with each step he took, over exaggerating how pissed off he truly was. Like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

His eyes couldn’t bare to look at yours, his jaw clenched so tightly together that a vein pulsed on the side of his forehead.

He said nothing as he exited your room, the only sound that broke the deafening silence was the loud slam of your door. You flinched upon hearing the loud slam and the rattle of the metal hinges, he slammed it with such ferocity you were amazed that your door was still in tack.

Safe to say that Nate got the message, he was finally going to leave you alone. You could finally move on, you wanted this right? So why does your heart feel like it’s crumbling into tiny pieces? Why are tears pouring down your face? And why do you feel empty, so incredibly empty and alone?

Y/N: I finally did it, he got the message. I can’t help but feel like I’ve made a mistake

Maddy: honey no, you haven’t made a mistake Nate Jacobs is a toxic asshole. He should of treated you right but he never did, it’s his loss to loose such an amazing person

Lexi: Y/N I agree with Maddie, don’t you ever let him make you feel like this was a mistake. You deserve way better and you can do way better

Y/N: why do I feel like this is a mistake though? I still love him and girls this hurts, this really fucking hurts

Lexi: oh Y/N :( I know it’s hard but you will get through this. I’ll be there in 5

Y/N: Lexi I can’t ask you to do that as you’re going on a date with Fez tonight

Lexi: too late I’m on my way, my girl needs me

Maddy: I’ll be there in 15, Ive snuck a bottle of my parents wine

Y/N: I love you guys so much <;3

The rest of the weekend was spent either pouring your heart out to your two friends, while Maddy continued to pour you drinks to help numb the pain. The pain didn’t lessen as each drink only made the hot tears come down like a torrential down pour. You couldn’t talk without your words becoming slurred by the overwhelming grief you felt for knowing that Nate is officially out of your life, but also from the copious amount of booze Maddy was supplying you with.

The two girls nodded sympathetically when they were needed to be, swigging back the bottle to try to conceal their true emotions about the situation. They were secretly overjoyed that you and that toxic asshole were no more.

They reassured you that it was the best thing to do, Lexi allowing you to curl up on your bed with your head in her lap. She stroked your hair, telling you that it was okay, not caring that your tears was dampening her jeans.

By the following Saturday the two were able to convince you to go to a party, claiming that this is the perfect way to finally get over him.

“Oh my fucking god! Y/N you look stunning!” Maddy gasped as you entered her bedroom, wearing her pastel blue dress , it just about covered your ass and boobs. But then again Maddy wouldn’t wear anything that left anything to the imagination, but if you have even an ounce of the confidence Maddy exudes you would too.

She wondered towards you and sprayed your whole body with a bottle of perfume , you had to take a step back as the floral smell was making you light headed. She moved your chin with her index finger admiring her handy work, she did the most intricate blue eyeliner with stick on pearls to truly accentuate your eyes.

“You look so hot” Maddy smirk lifting a shot glass full of clear liquid to your face. Weakly smiling as you shot back the glass that felt like it could have been filled with straight ethanol from your visceral reaction.

She whipped her phone out from her right pocket, holding you close to her as she angled her phone to capture you both in the most flattering angle. Maddie pouted her lips tilting her head to face yours, so unsure what to do in this situation that you followed precisely what Maddy did. She posted the photo on her story adding a caption saying “single and ready to mingle”

You reposted the photo on your story and not even a second after posting you swiped up out of curiosity to see who had viewed your story, straight away you saw

@nate.jacobs has viewed your story. Rolling your eyes, you threw your phone in your purse. Ready to forget about him for the night.

“You look amazing y/n” Lexi smiled bringing you into her embrace, her arms wrapped tightly around you.

“Thanks lex you too”

“Lex told me about you and Nate, I’m sorry about that. He’s an asshole and I have no problem punching him again if you need to” fez offered as he patted you on the shoulder. His jaw clenched as he said Nate’s name, swallowing down the anger he has for him.

“Thanks fez, as much as I’d love to see him with a bloodied nose again, I don’t think that will be necessary-“

As you finished your sentence it dwindled away into thin air as you locked eyes with Nate, who had his arm tightly wrapped around the shoulders of Cassie. When his eyes met yours, he placed a kiss to Cassie’s temple, as if to wound you for wounding him. He quickly looked away as they both walked towards the kitchen to search for something to drink.

You felt your body shaking in a mixture of anger and despair. Every mussel in your body strained as you were trying to contain yourself from punching Nate yourself.

Fuck you Nate Jacobs!

“Y/N are you okay-“

“Lex did you know?”

“No I didn’t Y/N I swear, I’m so sorry” Lexi desperately called after you but it was too late, as you slammed the front door behind you.

You leant against the side of the house, letting the tears you’ve been holding in slide down your face. You didn’t want to give Nate the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

It was a mistake you showing up tonight

—————————————————————————-

Y/N it’s me Lexi, I firstly want to apologise for losing contact with you after graduation. It was hard with you moving to college and I was dealing with Fez’s arrest and the death of ash. But I saw your mom when I was grocery shopping and she gave me your new number. Me and Fez got engaged, can you believe it? He proposed last week at this fancy restaurant. I wanted to invite you to our engagement party this Saturday. You can bring a plus one if you’re dating someone, I can’t wait to see you as I miss you.

“Who’s that babe?”

“Lexi just texted me, she’s inviting us to her and Fez’s engagement party this Saturday”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? She’s not exactly my biggest fan” Nate sighed, as he sunk down the couch beside you. Placing his hand on your thigh, rubbing soft circles on the fleshy part of your thigh. He chewed his lip as he was overthinking about every possible way this party could end in disaster.

You were the only one who could vouch that he wasn’t the same Nate Jacobs he was in high school. While they were all left with the bitter taste of his name in their mouths, despising the person he once was.

—————————————————————————-

“Y/N you coming to the graduation party?” Maddy asked, readjusting her cap that tilted to the side of her head, slightly messing up her perfectly styled curls.

“100%”

“Great come to mine for 8, Lexi and I are pregaming before our final ever high school party” Maddie squealed in excitement over the big day, you both are finally going to leave East Highland behind. She pressed her glossed lips on your cheek before running off to get some more pictures before the school kicked you out.

“Y/N can we talk?”

Your body stiffened momentarily, your nostrils flared as you forced yourself to breathe. Rolling your eyes as you prepared yourself to engage in conversation with the one person who you really didn’t want to speak to right now.

“I don’t have anything to say to you” you sighed, not even turning your back to look at him

“Y/N please?” Nate’s voice quivered as he was trying to compose his emotions. He was having an internal battle, he wanted to get on his knees begging for you to hear him out, but his dismissive tough outer exterior was telling him to run away to save his pride.

You turned around to face him, you could feel your eyes prick with tears as you look deep into his.

“What did you want to say?” You tried your damn hardest to sound cold with a dash of hostility, but looking in his eyes opened that part of your heart that you tried to kill. The part of your heart that still loves him. Looking into his deep hazel eyes it brought back all the emotions you tried to suppress.

Nate took a deep breath and swallowed down all the negative thoughts that tried to sway him from confessing how he truly feels. It’s hard when you’ve grew up with an emotionally absent, extremely toxic farther, that it’s hard to express your true emotions. His farther taught him how to only express anger, that men don’t allow themselves to cry, men speak with their fists or with their dicks. Cal was so heavily blinded by toxic masculinity that he couldn’t see the effect it has on his own son, or that he simply didn’t care. The most “love” he ever received from his dad was a pat on his back after he won a football game.

“I’m sorry” he pressed his lips into a thin line, closing his eyes to contain his tears. He felt his breathing hitch, being emotionally vulnerable felt uncomfortable that every part of him was screaming at him not to continue further. But he pushed all this down for you, he loves you and he can’t picture a life where you’re not in it.

“Nate I-“

“Please let me speak, I need to say this now otherwise it will eat me alive till the day I die” Nate choked back a sob as he forced these words out of his mouth.

You looked at him with confusion, you’ve never seen Nate in your whole relationship being so vulnerable as he is right now. You nodded your head, holding your breath awaiting what he had to say.

“I’m truly sorry Y/N. I truly fucked up, I have no excuse for the way I treated you. I can see you walking out of my life and I’m scared, I love you and I’m scared that you hate me. I won’t blame you if you do, I don’t deserve you, you were always too good for me. Ever since I called the cops on my dad, I realised that I’m turning into my worst fear, I’m turning into him. I hurt you so badly and I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. My dad was a worthless piece of shit, I believed that I had to grow in his shadow, I had to be the man he wanted me to be, so I hurt those I love because I’m so used to anger that I don’t know how to express how I feel about you. But I do love you, I love the sound of your laugh, I love waking up next to you, I love how you can make this shitty world okay” Nate’s body convulsed as each sob coursed through his body.

He couldn’t hold his tears back anymore as they slid down his face, he buried his face within his hands, hiding the tears from you. He felt a small sense of humiliation about you seeing him like this, he could hear his father’s voice ringing through his ears telling him how pathetic he was for shedding a single tear. But he didn’t care as right now he could possibly lose the love of his life forever and that scared him more than any tears would.

You looked at him with concern as your heart broke to see him so fragile, his body shaking as his hands muffled the series of ‘please don’t leave me, I love you” escaping from his lips. In your whole relationship you have never seen Nate cry, to the point that you believed that he was incapable of feeling such intense sorrow. In this moment in time you saw the fragile broken side of him that never sees the light of day.

Yes he broke your heart but you still loved him, humanity in itself is never black and white, we’re all intricate human beings with flaws and scars and Nate was no exception to this. He was flawed and broken but he also made you feel like you were the most beautiful person whenever his eyes fell upon you, how he could make all of your problems slip away into thin air whenever you were wrapped in his warm embrace.

Fuck you still loved him!, you were willing to give him a second chance. Sure there’s a lot to work upon to have even an ounce of what you once had, but if Nate was serious about what he had just said he’d gladly put in the work.

“Baby” you called out to him, just as you expected he remained where he was, still trembling with his face buried within his hands.

You stepped towards him and gently peeled back his hands to reveal his tear stained face. He looked at you with his eyes filled heavy with a deep sadness. You wiped away a hot tear that fell down his cheek with your thumb, placing a kiss where the tear used to be.

“Okay, you fucked up badly. You hurt me, but I can’t help but love you. Even when my heart was breaking I still loved you. When I once drunkenly told you that I couldn’t imagine a future without you in it, I still mean every word. But baby if we’re going to work I need you to prove to me that you’d never hurt me this badly again because my heart can’t take another heart break. I want to give us another chance, but please promise me baby that you will do anything to make us work again?”

“I will I promise, I love you Y/N. Thank you, I don’t deserve you” he weakly chuckled as new tears flooded down his cheek. He gently kissed your forehead, as he pulled you into his arms, inhaling your perfume that he had missed for it was the only thing in his life that brought him any form of comfort.

“Don’t make me regret this baby” you whispered

“I would rather die than to ever make that happen” he whispered back to you, placing another tender kiss against your forehead. Smiling for the first time in days that the love of his life was finally back in his arms.

———————————————————————————

Lexi sighed as she got Fez to rearrange the silver banner which read ‘happy engagement’ for what felt like the hundredth time.

“A little to your left Fez, it’s still off centre” she groaned, massaging the stress out of her temples.

“Look angel , no one is going to care if the banner isn’t exactly central” Fez groaned, his back is aching from arching it to place the banner exactly where his fiancé wanted it.

“Why don’t you get yourself a glass of rosé and try to relax?” He soothed, massaging her shoulders that became raised from her over thinking. He kissed the side of her cheek as he felt her shoulders release.

“I know, it’s just that I want tonight to be perfect, everyone will be here. Plus Y/N will be here who I haven’t seen in forever, sorry babe it’s just that it’s been a lot of stress for me” she pouted, chewing on the inside of her cheek from overthinking the entire party.

“I know angel, but trust me tonight is going to be great. And fuck it if it’s not for I’m finally engaged to the hottest woman I have ever met who made me the luckiest man in the entire world” Fez smiled as he turned Lexi to look at him, he lifted her head to look at him as he brought her Into a passionate kiss.

“I love you” Lexi breathed after she had to pull away from the lack of oxygen to her lungs

“I love you too”

The two lovers were interrupted by a loud knock at the door, the person behind the door was growing impatient by the second as the door was rattling against its hinges.

Lexi rolled her eyes, growing more frustrated by the person’s persistence. When she opened the door she was met by her sister wearing a skin tight baby pink dress, barely covering her ass.

“Wow Cas you look good?” Lexi stuttered upon seeing her older sister so dolled up, Lexi snickered as she joked, “dressing for anyone special?”

“Nate could be here” Cassie smirked as she soothed down the limiting fabric of her dress

“Excuse me?”

“Last thing I heard was that Y/N dated Nate in college, if by some miracle that they’re still together, I’ll show him what he’s been missing” Cassie stated, as she flipped her blonde hair over her shoulders making a beeline for the kitchen for something to drink.

Fez noticed how Cassie flounced in here without acknowledging the two hosts or why the party was arranged in the first place. He rolled his eyes as he brought his beer to his lips.

“Remind me why you invited her?”

“She’s my sister, plus she’s delusional that Nate will be here” Lexi groaned also rolling her eyes, they say that you can’t choose your family but it’s moments like this that Lexi wish that she could

Plus her sister was full of shit, there was no way that you would ever give Nate Jacobs a second chance right?

As more guest arrived they all congratulated the happy couple and wished them both a lifetime of happiness.

Rue stood in the corner listening to Kat as she told her about her newest work in progress. Rue is gladly 7 years sober from all substances, she’s done so well that she now helps out at the local clinics that once saved her life. Rue rarely dated after her relationship with Jules, needing to find her feet and especially within her sobriety. She had finally healed the relationship with her mom and younger sister.

Kat on the other hand became a successful author, writing about steamy erotic stories which soon made her the best selling author of that genre. Fans go wild over her books, claiming her to be the queen of smut. Kat finally found the confidence she thought that she lost in herself and for once was truly happy in her skin.

Ethan spent a large majority of the party catching up with Lexi as he just came back from tour. Unsurprisingly Ethan found his love of acting through being in Lexi’s iconic play. He studied at Juilliard where he became an up and coming Broadway talent, he recently came off tour with Dear Evan Hansen and was happy to be home for a few days. Though he has been avoiding Kat all throughout the party like the plague, some wounds will never heal.

Jules arrived to the party with Kat who were still good friends and kept in touch regularly. Jules became a therapist helping queer and trans kids, she became an activist for trans rights and in result gained a huge Instagram following. Jules used what she went through in the past to help those she can, believing that no one should experience the trauma she had faced alone.

Cassie stood leaning against the wall watching the door like a hawk, every few minutes readjusting her hair or applying another layer of

Gloss, determined that Nate was going to walk through that door. Lexi and Cassie’s relationship was rocky, but for the sake of the family Lexi invited her here tonight.

Lexi felt her heart drop as she checked the time on her phone, you were officially an hour late. The guilt started to eat her alive as she twirled the pretty diamond ring that laid upon her finger. She drummed her fingers against her thigh trying to relieve her anxiety that was raging through her body. Her brain went into overdrive, imagining all the ways that you probably hate her for loosing touch. She kept on staring at the wooden frame praying for it to knock at any second.

———————————————————————————

“Okay you can choose one toy each” Nate stated at Harrison, Noah and Lilly who were sat crossed legged on the floor of their playroom with multiple toys strewn around the room.

“But daddy Rosie needs Daisy” Lilly pouted as she held up two princess dolls from the same set, she gave Nate her best puppy dog eyes and quivered her bottom lip.

It took Nate less than five seconds to cave into Lilly’s cute pouting face which made his heart melt. Nate swears that she gets it from her mother. Lilly truly was Nate’s little princess and dangerously he was wrapped around her little finger.

“Fine” Nate sighed “only two”

The three kids let out a laughter of glee as they reached for another toy.

“Are you ready to go?” You asked resting your head in the crook of Nate’s neck, wrapping your arms around him pulling him closer to you. It must be your hormones or Nate’s irresistible nature that made this pregnancy resulting in yourself to be attached to his hip, you became more clingier but Nate found that adorable. Especially when you pouted at him if he hasn’t given you enough affection, Nate wouldn’t change it for the world for he had the life he dreamt about, a beautiful wife and 3 happy healthy children with one more on the way

———————————————————————————

Lexi felt her heart flew out of her chest when she heard a knock at the door. She squealed loudly as she passed her glass to Fez, who was looking at his fiancé with a bewildered expression from her sudden outburst. Her body shaking with delight as she practically launched herself at the door.

Maddy saw Lexi’s commotion and quickly followed suit with her face beaming over the thought of seeing you again.

“I missed you-“

The two women’s eyes grew wide as they looked at your stomach that was carrying your fourth child. Lexi cupped her hands over her mouth and squealed again in delight.

“Congratulations Y/N who’s the lucky guy?”

“My husband-“

“Oh my god! You’re married?” Maddy smiled as she wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug, but not tight enough as she was weary of your bump. Maddy was overjoyed that you are finally in a healthy relationship ever since the shit show her and Lexi had to endure in high school, the two were so used to seeing you in tears with a broken heart. It warms her heart that you look happier and you were practically glowing, pregnancy really did suit you.

Lexi shared the same feeling of elation for you but she was momentarily sad when she found out that you were married, not that she wasn’t happy for you but she wished that she could of been their to celebrate your big day with you. Well at least you can now attend hers.

3 kids came running up behind you, your twins Harrison are Noah were 7 while Lilly was 5. Lexi and Maddy waved at the three kids, gushing about how cute they were and how much they all looked like their mom. Both women were crouched down listening intently as each kid introduced their toys to them, laughing as Lexi and Maddy shook their hands and welcomed the extra guests to the party.

When Maddy looked up to you, her smiled faltered as she choked on the air overcome with shock from who just appeared and placed a kiss on your cheek. Lexi looked at Maddie eyes wide with confusion till she turn to look in the same direction, Lexi rapidly started blinking not fully processing what she’s just witnessed.

You and Nate Jacobs were still together! Not only that but you were married to him with kids.

None of the pieces were adding up in their heads, they were completely baffled by the entire encounter. Last time they saw you, you were crying over him hating him for breaking your heart. So what the hell has changed for you to look totally infatuated by him?

—————————————————————————-

After you graduated from university Nate proposed with a beautiful delicate diamond ring. Saying that you were the love of his life and the only one for him.

You both had a small private wedding reserved for only close family and friends, for you wanted your big day to be spent with those who you loved. You did wish that Lexi and Maddy could be there but you all loss contact so it was impossible to contact them.

You both moved far away from LA as possible, both wanting a fresh start and especially when Cal was allegeable for parole. Nate wanted to be far away from him as possible, especially a few months after the wedding you fell pregnant with twins. Nate wanted to live somewhere safe with his family and to be the farther he never got to your twins (and Lilly who came two years later and baby Jamie who is now on the way).

He became a football coach at the local high school and you worked in the art department. It was sweet that you both worked in the same place which meant that you could have cute lunch dates together away from your kids as much as you loved them.

Nate was a great farther he was nothing like his dad, he was kind and patient. Completely different to his former high school self, where he didn’t know how to communicate his emotions. They built up inside of him till it came out into this fiery rage that could make anyone’s blood run cold, so unused to feel love so when he felt it he felt like he needed to push them away as he believed he was unworthy of feeling such a thing.

Seeing the way he was acting was hurting you, the love of his life. Watching you nearly walk out of his life was the worst pain he had ever felt, it felt suffocating, like every part of him was breaking. That he knew he had to change, and he wanted to change if it meant that he could keep you in his life.

Yes it was hard for him to begin with but he slowly let down his guard, the one his farther installed in him to make him ‘more of a man’ even though it made him seem cold. He started to let you in, he started to communicate about his feelings rather than to wait till they reached boiling point.

Nate was a doting husband, he brought you flowers every Friday and hires a sitter just so you two can have your regular date nights. He loved you with all his heart and never missed an opportunity to show that to you. You were both finally happy. —————————————————————————-

“I can’t believe he’s changed?” Lexi exclaimed lifting her glass to her lips, still in complete shock over what she’s just heard.

“I love you Y/N but he was a dick in high school I’m having a hard time believing that he’s such a loving husband” Maddy added watching in amazement as Nate sat with his children on the floor. Laughing with them and joining in their make believe game, watching as Lilly giggled with glee as her dad gently kissed her on the cheek.

“I know if I wasn’t married to him I’d have a hard time believing that too. But I truly couldn’t ask for a better husband, the smallest things make me nauseous nowadays. So Nate now carries water, mints and ginger tea incase I need it”

“Stop it that is too cute” Maddie gasped.

Both her and Lexi shared a look, maybe they were both wrong about Nate Jacobs? Seeing you so content ,watching how good he is with the kids and how he looks at you like you are the most beautiful girl in the world (which caused Cassie to roll her eyes and huff in annoyance seeing how in love with you he was). Nate Jacobs was your perfect match.

“So Y/N I wanted to ask if you would be my maid of honour at my wedding”

“Oh my god Lexi, yes I will” you smiled as you quickly pulled her into a warm embrace.

“I need my best friend there on my big day and it wouldn’t be the same without you”

They say that the best love is fast and intense, maybe that was true to your high school self. But the true, real kind of love was consistent and giving, forever holding onto that initial spark. Now you know exactly what that love felt like as you found that in Nate.

A/N: I hope that you enjoyed this fic. I’d had to make Ethan an actor especially after his incredible performance as Nate in the play. He also gives me dear Evan Hansen vibes I don’t know why. My requests are still open and I’m currently working through all of them

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train-wrecc · 11 months

Text

Soon You'll Get Better

Chapter Two: Best of a Bad Deal

↢ chapter one | series masterlist | chapter three ↣

summary: max begins her sophomore year of high school heading into it with optimism and the hope for things to turn back to normal. as she navigates through this new stage she can't help but feel undeserving of this happiness that seems so foreign after the guilt of billy's death. after she has a heated run in with a bully, steve sweeps in to take care of the situation, but it's clear that max has plenty of unsolved and pent up emotions about billy's death that must be put to rest.

word count: [20.5k] kinda proof-read

: ̗̀➛ pairings: big-brother!steve x max & big-sister!reader x max

: ̗̀➛ romantic pairing: steve harrington x fem-college-student!reader

: ̗̀➛ warnings: talks about mental and emotional health, billy's death, self deprecation, difficulty grieving over death, swearing, bullies, max collapsing (she's ok!), tons of tears (get ur tissues ready), steve being supportive, max and steve are a bunch of fluff balls.

With fall setting in and summer dwindling away in the rearview, everyone had seemed to enter a new stage in life. Starting a new school year, getting a little older, job promotions, finding themselves—everything.

For Max, she had started a few new moments in her own life. Recently turned sixteen a few weeks ago in early July and was about to be a sophomore in high school. She was also making an effort to try to get better, to take care of herself a little more and embrace the help that people were willing to give to her—especially Steve and his girlfriend.

“Say cheese!” You bubbled too enthusiastically at seven in the morning.

Max yawned, rubbing her eyes as you stifled your amusement behind the enormous camera and standing by until she flashed you a smile before taking the picture.

“Okay, c’mon, let’s get you to school before you’re late.” Steve snickered, pressing himself off his car as he ushered the young girl towards him.

She yawned once more, wandering into his arm that he slung over her shoulder, “What time did you go to bed last night?” He rose his brows, scanning her drained features as she shrugged.

“Around twelve, I couldn’t stop tossing and turning—just a little anxious.” She told him, getting into the backseat as he held the door open for her.

You looked behind at her, already settled in the passenger with the developing polaroid in your lap, “S’ok sweetheart, everyone gets a little nervous when they start something new.” You consoled her with your soothing voice as she smiled gingerly and buckled in.

“Do you have any classes with El?” Steve inquired, fingers shifting the car into drive as the ride continued under the early morning sky.

“Ummm, I think so,”

She reached over, unzipping her backpack and finding the folded piece of paper that was at the bottom of the bag. Beginning to read off her schedule before she came across the one class she and her best friend shared.

“English with Mrs. O’Donnell.” Max spoke, folding back up her schedule and placing it into her bag.

“Wasn’t that Eddie’s English teacher?” You rose your brow, glancing towards Steve who chuckled and nodded.

His eyes met Max’s in the rearview where she laughed, knowing the story already, “Yeah, three years in a row.”

“Give him a break! I’m just glad he finally passed and graduated.” You said, undoubtedly proud of your friend for not failing for the fourth time.

“Well, I hope her class isn’t too hard.” Max said from the backseat, watching the window as they slowed by cars also heading in the same direction towards school.

Steve tutted, peeking back towards her, “It shouldn’t be and if you need any help, you can ask El or us too.”

Steve wasn’t necessarily the best student per se, but ever since the kids started going to him for help with projects and studying, he made the effort to use whatever he remembered from all his years of school to help them succeed.

She grinned sincerely and nodded, “Thanks,”

Max wasn’t bad at school. If anything, she was a straight-A student. Passed all her classes with flying colors. But it wasn’t the contents of the class that was difficult it was the people in the class.

Last school year was an absolute nightmare. She was known as the girl with a dead brother who sacrificed his life to save her and her friends. Everyone couldn’t stop talking about it—everyone whispered in the hallways and behind her in class and even if they thought she couldn’t hear them she knew already.

You would think that people would be more sympathetic to her situation. She wasn’t asking for pity from the student body, but just the respect to not talk about such a sensitive topic that they didn’t know the full story about. But instead, all she got were those murmurs of rumors and sick jokes about her dead brother.

Max was just hoping that this school year would be different. That finally she could move on from last year and have a fresh start that she deserved. She knew that getting better was going to take time, but it also wasn’t just up to her. But up to being treated right by others—to not allow herself to be walked all over and dragged around. She knew that Billy wouldn’t want her to take that lightly.

She took a deep breath as Steve turned into the school parking lot, getting in the line of all the other cars who were dropping off students before it finally came her turn. Unbuckling her belt, she leaned in towards the middle console, giving you and Steve a head tap.

“See you guys after school?” She sought, sliding her arms through her backpack loops.

You and Steve beamed back and her, nodding your heads, “I’ll be in class but I’ll meet you guys back at the apartment okay?”

“Sounds good and don’t forget to pick me up at 2:30, Steve!” She called out, opening the car door and stepping out.

He whistled, flashing her another smile with a thumbs up, “Have a good day bug,” He shouted out.

You and Steve waved goodbye, watching Max do the same before she pulled her headphones over her ears as she walked through the crowded parking lot.

Music seemed to be her calmness these days. It helped her focus on other things rather than just the thoughts running through her head.

She was able to focus on the beat, lyrics, trying to picture the scene in her head—like a movie, but just for her ears and imagination. She was just hoping that the soundtrack of Kate Bush would keep her at bay until the end of the day.

Thankfully, for the most part, the angelic voice of Kate Bush was great. It kept her busy just like she hoped, and even El asked to give it a listen during lunch. The only thing that Kate Bush couldn’t black out was the voice of her named being called in the middle of the class after Mrs. O’Donnell had picked up the phone and covered the speakers as motioned Max up to her desk.

“Miss. Lawrence wants to see you in her office and she’s in A13 down in the administration office.” She spoke.

Max nodded, waiting for further instruction while the rest of the students watched on. Mrs. O’Donnell hung up the phone, reaching over her desk and ripping off the bright orange slip where she scribbled down a quick hall pass in case Max would be mistaken for ditching class.

After signing her name, she passed it to her, a small smile on her face, “She says you might be in her office until the rest of the class, so it’s best you take your things with you in case the bell rings. I’ll see you tomorrow, Maxine.”

Max returned the smile, half surprised that Mrs. O’Donnell wasn’t such an old hag that Eddie said she was, “Thank you…see you tomorrow.”

She walked back over to her desk, stuffing her books and binder into her backpack before turning to El who sat behind her and quietly murmuring, “I’ll meet you in the parking lot when the bell rings.”

Her best friend smiled, nodding her head as she reached for her hand, giving it a warm squeeze. “Okay! Good luck!”

Max was aware of Miss. Lawrence who was the sophomore counselor. Last school year, her counselor, Mrs. Bear, told her about Miss. Lawrence, saying that if she wasn’t in for the day that she could visit the sophomore counselor for whatever she needed.

Max only visited once, just to get out of class after a particularly hard day.

“Max! Nice to see you! How was your summer?”

She gradually closed the door behind her, walking over to the chairs and taking a seat.

“Summer was fine. What about you?” She asked, resting her backpack on the free chair, looking over at the woman who had a cheery smile on her face.

“Great! I took my daughters to Indianapolis for a few weeks. Very fun, but not much to do once you’ve explored it all.”

She and Max shared a short laugh before she told her a little more about the trip and the interesting landmarks they were able to see. Then she reached for a file of papers, pulling a few of them out and sliding it towards the young girl. The papers being the emergency contact forms that were filled out last year.

Her mother’s name and contact information being the only one written down, and under it a scribbled out box where Billy’s name and homeroom number was once written.

“I called you in here to see if you wanted to add anyone to your emergency contact list. If you only want to keep your mother’s information on file, that’d be fine, but I just wanted to reach out and see if you’d like to add anyone.”

If Billy were still alive, he’d already be graduated and she would have added the home phone number, but that wasn’t the case anymore.

She thought about maybe adding Joyce, considering the fact that she was like a mother figure to her, but Max knew who she really wanted the school to contact if something were to ever happen.

Somebody who would drop everything to be there for her.

“Umm, would it be ok if I add Steve and his partner?” She leaned forward, plucking out a pen from the jar while she waited for Miss. Lawrence’s response.

A smile and curt, “mhm” prompted her to begin filling out your and Steve’s names along the dotted line along with your phone numbers. She practically had your numbers memorized, being able to press the buttons on the home phone without even looking because she called you two very often.

Sometimes to just check in see how things were going at home with college and Ollie. But also wondering if you two were free so that she could come over. She loved that you guys always picked up her phone calls, and on the rare occasions that you didn’t, she would leave voice messages, saying to call her back ASAP because she needed to get out of the trailer.

Her sudden fast moving pen abruptly came to halt when the ballpoint hovered over “relationship.”

You and Steve weren’t related to her by blood obviously, but at times she really did feel like you two were a part of her family. She really had no other family besides her mom, so she’d take you two willingly into her chosen one.

“Brother” she wrote into the relationship slot next to Steve’s name and “Sister-In-Law” she wrote next to yours.

Sliding the paper back to her counselor and capping her pen, she sat and waited, watching as Miss. Lawrence examined the paper before placing it back into the folder.

She looked up at her, crossing her hands over her desk and smiling, “Steve Harrington? He used to go here didn’t he?”

Max nodded with a tight smile on her face, “Yeah, we’re sorta close…or not sorta, really close. He’s like a brother figure to me and his partner is there for me lots, too.”

The young girl shrugged, hoping there would be no issue of putting you and him on her contact list. If she couldn’t then basically it’d just be her mother’s work number and home number, and since she was barely home, she’d just have to hope her mom wasn’t too busy at work to pickup the phone if it was an emergency.

“Well, that’s really nice of them and I also want you to know that I, myself are here for you no matter what alright?” She patted the tops of Max’s hands, reaching under her desk with the other to grab a card, sliding over the desk to her.

Max grabbed it, examining the contents. On the first line a phone number to her school office, and the other a personal telephone number in case of emergencies.

“In case you ever need to talk, just feel free to call, and if at any time during class you feel like you need to talk to someone you’re always welcome to my office, alright?”

“Thank you,” Max replied serenely, moving back over to her backpack and placing the card in the front pocket for easy access if she ever needed it.

Miss Lawrence looked at her watch, just a few minutes before the bell would ring and the first day of school would come to an end, “You’re welcome to leave now, but just don’t walk out of the front gates before security goes all bezerk.”

She laughed, giving the girl a warm smile, observing her sling the backpack over her shoulder before waving a goodbye and exiting her office.

There was a sense of relief walking out of there without bringing up Billy’s name because she really had thought this was going to be those miserable counselor meetings where she had to sit there watching the poor woman pour her heart out and not know what to say in response.

Talking about Billy and even bringing up his name was a bit triggering now. The only person who was allowed to bring it up was her and if someone else did, she thinks she would immediately see red because all she wanted to do now was to move on.

If that was even possible.

It still hurt to know that he wasn’t here, yet she accepted the fact that she couldn’t bring him back. But really, was this grief worth dying over? For a few months, she thought it was, but at the end of the day she knew Billy was better off dead than surviving that attack.

For crying out loud, he was impaled by a fucking Mindflayer.

There was no plausible or possible way for him to survive.

But even though a piece of her died when he left, she also knew that she could survive this grief.

It would just take time and a lot of realizing that she had to make the best of a bad deal.

As soon as the last bell of the day rung vehemently, she pushed through the big glass double doors and strode against the rough gravel, stopping beside the bike racks that were right next to the parking lot.

She pulled her headphones over her ears, not wanting to hear the commotion of everyone filing out of their classes, and instead watched the doors, waiting until she was able to see her best friend. It was only a couple minutes, and almost halfway through a song that she spotted El on the other side of the glass, but she wasn’t walking alone.

There was Will, her brother.

El waved eagerly towards her, as if they didn’t see each other just a little while ago, but that’s something that Max always admired. That no matter how much time went by, El was always so thrilled to see her.

She waved back, placing her headphones around neck and pausing the tape as they got closer.

“Hey Max!” Will approached, opening his arms in a hug.

She smiled casually, opening hers, and hugging him, “Hey Will.”

Things weren’t necessarily uncomfortable between Will and Max, but they definitely grew a little distant after what had happened at Star Court. In hindsight, it also was a little funny because before the Upside Down crap came back haunting Hawkins—Max, El, and Will were like the little trio that summer.

They had begged you and Steve to drive them around town or supervise them at the pool, per their parents’ request. The three of them connected to the hip and having fun doing their own thing while the others did whatever they constituted as fun.

That was until after Star Court and the breakup that happened between Max and Lucas.

She always understood that Will was inevitably closer to Lucas than he was to her. They had grown up together their whole lives, and Max only entered the picture recently. And even if Will didn’t pick sides, because he didn’t—she knew that everything would be ok and if she had El that was all that mattered.

But still, it was nice to hug her friend again after this entire summer of being missing in action. When they pulled away, they moved a little closer into the parking lot, waiting on the curb as they watched the carpool line move.

“So what happened?” El nudged her delicately, gripping her binder to her chest while on the lookout of the cars entering the pickup section.

“Miss. Lawrence asked me about my emergency contact form and let me add two people.” She told them and they nodded.

“Do you think I could sit with you guys at lunch tomorrow?” Will asked kindly, looking between his little sister and Max.

Today, he had sat with Mike and Dustin at the usual DnD table and while he loved the comfort of his two best friends, he also missed Max and wanted to hang more.

Plus, the DnD table just wasn’t the same without Eddie and the rest of the seniors who had graduated. Hellfire didn’t have a good reputation either, so not many freshmen or newcomers signed up.

Will knew that it was only a matter of time before Hellfire would no longer be a club at Hawkins and instead just better off being played in the confines of the Wheeler basement or Eddie’s trailer.

“Sure,” Max nodded her head, glancing over at him, “Did the guys do something?” she rose her brows and he shook his head wrapping fingers over his backpack straps and holding.

“No, well…kinda? They’re just being friendly to some of the freshman, but I’m not really good with new people, so it’s a little awkward, and plus, Lucas sits with the jocks now, so yeah.”

Will sounded a little disappointed, not at the fact that his childhood best friends were evolving, but more so at the fact that he felt like he was being left behind.

Maybe that’s why the three always gravitated towards each other in a way.

El was, of course overlooked.

Max was misunderstood.

And Will was underappreciated.

“You can sit with us every day if you want!” El offered graciously, giving Will a wide smile and reaching over to squeeze his wrist assuringly.

Max did the same, expect in her own loving way. Poking him the in the side and grinning like a maniac because even if Will hated getting poked in his prime tickle spot, this was like a form of love in some weird way.

“Max! Wait up!”

The three of them whipped their heads back and found a jogging Lucas waving his hands up in the air as he made his way towards them.

“Should I tell him to go away?” Will requested under his breath, just a few seconds away from Lucas coming closer.

She bit her lip and shook her head. Telling him to go away was the last thing she wanted and quite frankly all she did this past summer was push him away. It was time that she faced the music and owe him an explanation.

Lucas was always so good and kind to her. Constantly asking if she was ok, even when he knew she wasn’t. Trying his best to get her to open up about her feelings. Leaving a pile of picked flowers on her doorstep even when she wouldn’t answer the door.

All of the things he did because he loved her and she pushed him away like nothing.

It was horrible what she did, but she knew it was for her own sake.

“H-hey!” Lucas coughed out stiffly, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared on at her, watching a little smile appear on her freckled face.

“Hi jock.” She pestered light heartedly, scrunching her nose at the patch on his letterman jacket that now was going to become a new staple in his closet.

She and Lucas always used to make fun of the jocks that they’d seen all over town back when they were in middle school. Acting like Hawkins’ Royalty just because they got to go to states only to come home without a trophy. It felt a little funny that even after those years of those conversations; he was in front of her wearing one of those jackets.

“But I’m a nice jock.” He clicked his tongue and pointed his finger at her, making her laugh.

Will discreetly reached for El’s wrist, gently tugging the two of them a few feet back to give Max and Lucas some much needed privacy.

For the first time that they conversed after the breakup, they didn’t seem so tense or weirded out by each other. And to them, seeing their friends look somewhat happy in each other’s presence felt like a good step.

Max rolled her eyes sarcastically, moving her feet across the gravel. “I don’t know if being a nice jock is even possible.”

Lucas simply amused her, making a ‘X’ over his heart and mouthing the words, “I promise.” She knew he would always be a nice person. But a jock? She never thought that would happen.

“So…umm, how have you been?” He stammered the question out, anxiously rubbing his hands together, hoping to hear some good news.

Max swallowed, and smiled, a real genuine smile, “Better,” she began, “A lot better, kinda…Steve and his girlfriend have been really there for me, so it’s nice.”

Lucas beamed at the response, finally glad and thoroughly convinced that Max was indeed doing better, maybe not 100% the same Max from before, but she was getting there little by little.

“How about you?”

Max gestured over at him, obviously wanting to hear about when he decided to change up the look and go for total jocky balls and laundry basket mode, as Eddie would call it.

She watched him dig into his jean pockets, pulling out a key and smiling wide.

“I got my license a few ago! And my dad let me get a new stereo system for crushing basketball tryouts—it’s cool! It comes with a tape player and everything, so maybe one day we can drive around and blast that Kate Bush tape.”

He pointed at her Walkman clipped to her jeans. The Kate Bush tape that he knew she loved, confined within the two pieces of plastic and could be seen through the little clear window in the front.

Her fingers trailed over the Walkman, resting there, as she looked up at Lucas with sorry eyes and a frown.

“I-I’m sorry for pushing you away for so long. I swear it’s not what I wanted to do…but it was what was best for me.” She admitted, pursing her lips and watching Lucas shake his head.

“No, I should be the sorry one because I kept pushing you to talk even though I knew you were still hurting deep down. A-and why you said that it wasn’t because of me, and you blamed yourself for me being stupid and pushy—”

Max swallowed, shaking her head, “uh, uh” cutting Lucas off, leading him to raise his brows and stop.

“I meant it when I said it was nothing to do with you, Lucas.” She said quietly enough to hear despite the chatter from the rest of the students passing by.

Max’s eyes looked from side to side, making sure no one was able to hear what she was about to say. And when she knew the coast was clear, she stepped forward, somewhat closing the space between them and hugging herself to find some comfort.

“What happened last summer fucked me up. Really bad,” she buzzed, feeling Lucas so close to her, “I’m still trying to heal from it and the last thing I want to do is rope you in with everything. So I mean it when I say it’s not you, it’s me.”

Her eyes darted up to his, seeing them filled with acceptance and a slight bit of hopelessness. She could read Lucas like the back of her hand, and she knew that it was still painful for him.

After all, they were quite literally each other’s first love.

“I believe you.” He whispered back, his hand reaching for hers and clutching it tenderly.

She gave him a tight-lipped smile, stepping back and opening up the space between them. The space that she knew would one day once be filled again, but right now she had to put herself first, even if it was selfish.

Even if a boy, straight out of her dreams, who did nothing but make her laugh and never tried to change her was waiting on the other side.

Your words and Steve’s echoing in her mind and reminding her that she was the priority. That this space between her and Lucas would never fully close unless she put herself first and got better.

Not because Lucas deserved it.

But because she did.

“Bug!”

The crunch of the tires on gravel, followed by Steve’s voice, made her look back. His face looking at her from the passenger window where he waved. Max and El were already starting to make their way into the backseat of his car, and she had to go.

She turned back around to Lucas, seeing him give Steve a wave and smile before redirecting his attention back to his favorite red-head.

“I’ll try to call sometime…and I look forward to that ride one day.” She told him, reaching out to pat his shoulder as she gave him a soft smile and turned on her heel.

But before she could go, he grabbed onto her palm, placing a piece of paper folder up between them before he squeeze and finally let her go.

She looked puzzled at first, wondering what it could have been, but just seeing the words Lucas mouthed reassured her, “Read it and let me know.”

She swallowed, nodding her head understandingly and clutching her fist around the paper. Walking towards Steve’s car, she could already imagine the questions that he was about to ask by the slight crinkle of his forehead and curled lip.

“Save it,” Max groaned jokingly, holding her hand up to his face as she slumped into her seat and buckled her belt.

Steve shook his head, looking back at the other two kids in the backseat, pretending to look as clueless as possible. His eyes shifted back to Max, clicking his tongue, “Start talking missus.”

She turned her head away, peering out towards the passenger window, where her fingers carefully opened up the note. In messy blue ink, he wrote, “first game on Friday…hope to see you there!” signed off with his initials and two stick figures: him and her.

With a smile on her face, she tucked the paper into her pocket, turning towards Steve who was already staring right back at her with a grin, “I’m going to a game on Friday.”

When they got back to the apartment, Steve couldn’t help but eavesdrop while he got some food going in the microwave overhearing the conversation the other three were having in the living room only a few feet away.

“You guys are like totally obsessed with my non-existent dating life!” Max accused jokingly, spread out on the floor with Ollie laying on her rib cage.

Will and El had already gotten started with their homework fanned out across the coffee table, multitasking as they chatted with Max.

“We’re not obsessed, just mildly concerned.” Will told her, eyes never leaving his calculus worksheet that he was flying through.

The red head sat up, cuddling the dog to her, as she looked over at Will, “What do you mean concerned?”

He finally looked away from his homework, shooting her a knowing glance. “Lucas is going to think this means that you two are getting back together.”

“He’s right,” El murmured, setting her pencil down and laying her head over her arms, still concentrating her eyes on her best friend, “It doesn’t help that won’t shut up about you.” El added, watching Max inhale and shrug.

Unlike Max, El still hung out with the guys mostly because of Mike and as of recently her best friend was the topic of discussion. Lucas asking the boys for some girl advice, which was ludicrous because usually it was them asking him for advice.

Will and El would share uncomfortable and silent glances, knowing that Max wasn’t going to budge on her stance with the relationship. Nothing was going to make her magically change her mind and decide to get back together with him. This wasn’t like their previous petty breakdowns where Max would keep Lucas on his toes, but eventually take him back with a snap of her fingers.

This was something more, and they both knew that.

“Well…we’re not going to—I’m just not ready for it, don’t know when I will be, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop caring about him.” She told her friends, looking away subconsciously.

But Max knew that El and Will were a smart pair of siblings. They both probably already knew everything she was going through, but didn’t want to ask or bring it up because they knew it would make her uneasy.

“Which is why no one is forcing you to go to that game for Lucas’ sake,” Will responded, pressing a comforting hand on her knee, “You should go because you want to, not because you feel like you have to.”

“Who’s forcing who to do what?”

Steve came into the living room balancing a plate of hot pockets on one hand and three bottles of water in the other.

Max looked up at him, putting Ollie down on the floor as Steve placed the food on the coffee table and sat back on the couch.

“Nothing! No one is forcing me to do anything. They’re just concerned about the game on Friday.” Max said, shaking her head and picking up a hot pocket and taking a bite.

Steve observed, seeing Will and El passing him troubled glances, not wanting to be caught by Max who would totally tell them they were freaking out for no reason at all, when in fact they had all the reasons in the world to.

“Do you actually wanna go to the game?” Steve urged, sitting up slightly and watching her chew before answering with a dismissive bobble of her head.

“Yeah, I guess…it’s not like I have anything to do, anyways.” She told him, prompting Steve to let out a sigh, running his hands up and down his legs, wondering what was the right response to give her.

“Max, if you want to go, you should go. It’ll be a nice change of scenery for you, but you don’t just have to go because you feel like you owe Lucas something, alright? You make your own choices for yourself. Don’t let him or any of us pressure you into doing or going to something you don’t want to do.”

She knew where they were all coming from, considering the amount of protectiveness they all had for her, especially Steve. He knew the struggles she was facing that El and Will didn’t, so his words were hinting at that something more without explicitly saying it or being too obvious.

Max wasn’t only on the road to getting better mentally and emotionally, but also facing the grief of Billy. The thoughts of going back to the basketball court where she would obviously have memories of her late brother was something she wasn’t quite sure she was ready to face alone.

It wasn’t like she was scared or terrified, but more so just apprehensive to see what the outcome would be. Would she only be able to see the ghost of Billy out on the court, or would she freeze and run away when she saw Lucas there?

She wasn’t quite sure if it was Lucas or Billy’s ghost she was fending off, but she knew she wanted to do this—just not alone.

“Do you think you and her could come to the game?” Max proposed, looking at Steve who grinned tightly and nodded.

“Of course,” Steve replied, reaching forward to ruffle her hair as she playfully rolled her eyes and smacked his hand away.

She looked at her two other friends, watching with smiles as they ate their afternoon snack, clearly pleased with Max’s more confident answer this time around. She knew they knew that things were difficult for her—more difficult than it was a year ago. It was that sort of silent pact and understanding that they had between the three of them.

They knew, but they just wouldn’t speak of it for her sake. But what they would do was advocate for her best interest and remind her that she was in control of everything that was left up to her.

“Guys wanna come too?” Max suggested, wiggling her brows at the two who grinned.

“But you have to swear we won’t have to do those stupid cheers that the crowd does to get pumped up!” Will pointed with a laugh as Max crossed her fingers over her heart.

“Promise!” she added with a giggle.

“If Lucas has trouble shooting, do you think I could use my powers to help?” El looked at Max with an innocent look of curiosity before the redhead turned to Steve.

“Can she?” Max smirked, and Steve looked at her with a grin.

“Y’know, it’d probably be really helpful, buutttt we should let the game play out without super powers, alright?”

He turned to El with a chortle, following as she moped somewhat, but went straight back to eating her hot pocket and doing her homework.

The front door knob wiggled, the lock turning while Ollie hopped excitedly, sprinting around in circles before you finally came through the doorway.

“I’m home!” You sparkled, toeing off your shoes and placing your stack of books on the little table at the entrance of your apartment.

Steve was up from his place on the couch in an instant, coming to greet you at the front door with a peck to the lips.

“Missed you,” Steve murmured, placing a kiss on your arm while he guided the strap of your backpack down and off your shoulders.

You smiled warmly, stepping up on your tiptoes to give him another kiss, “I missed you too.”

“Yeah, you know we’re here too!”

Steve sneered playfully, taking your bag to the bedroom while you stooped down to pick up Ollie in your arms before walking over to the teens at the table.

“Helloooo, Ellie…Willie….and Maxie.” You singsonged, pecking the tops of their heads as they grumbled at your corny nicknames before you rounded the coffee table and plopped down on the sofa.

“How was college?” El sought, scooting closer to your legs as she reached an arm up and petted Ollie behind the ears.

“Plenty of lecture notes to go through, but that’s boring! Tell me all about your first day! Any cute girls or guys? Mean teachers? New cliques?” Your eyes darting to the three who smiled and shrugged lightly.

“My classes are alright. Mostly full of kids from last school year, but my teachers are really nice! Mr. Krasinski said that if we all turn in our syllabus on time we get one pass to skip any pop quiz throughout the semester, we would just have to vote on it as a class.” Will explains

“When I was in high school all my teachers were lame, you guys are lucky!” You pestered.

You tilted your head towards the girls, squinting your eyes, “Soooo, is Mrs. O’Donnell really an old miserable hag?”

Max and El shook their heads, cackling loudly at your comment that you definitely got from Eddie Munson himself.

“She’s actually kinda nice! Maybe Eddie really just gave her a hard time.” Max spoke, dusting off her fingers and reaching for her water bottle to take a sip.

Just then Steve had exited your bedroom, heading towards the kitchen to grab yourself a snack which was usually string cheese and a bag of lays.

“Did you tell her about Lucas?” Steve called out while ripping open the new pack of string cheese he had bought for you a few days ago.

He snickered when he heard your dramatic gasp, startling Ollie who hopped out of your arms and ran over to him.

“Oh, here it goes now…” Max groaned, shaking her head with no malice as you dropped onto the floor beside her with a bemused grin on your face holding her by the shoulders.

“Tell. Me. Everything!” You shook her gingerly, catching Steve in the distance who was coming closer with your favorite snacks.

Perfect timing.

You let go of her shoulders, hands instantly grabbing the food Steve was offering to you, before you settled your back against his legs where he sat down on the couch and ran his fingers through your locks smoothly.

“Well, he came up to me after school and asked me how I was doing.” Max started getting relaxed next to you as you nodded and listened, peeling strings of the cheese as you ate.

“Then I apologized for pushing away this whole summer and he took it surprisingly well actually, then he invited me to his basketball game on Friday.”

You turned your head strongly, looking at her with widened eyes.

“He’s a jock now? Since when?”

Max snorted somewhat in an agreeing manner, “I guess he took up basketball over the summer and tried out. He’s on junior varsity and plays point guard.”

You took in that information, chewing slowly, trying to decipher which questions you wanted to ask because really you had so many, but you settled on the most important one for the moment.

“Do you want to go?”

A smile began to tug at Max’s lips, making you raise your brows as you watched her throw her arms out wide, “Yep! And you and Steve are coming with!”

You pretended to whimper, sending your head back on Steve’s knees where you stared at him upside down, “Why!? You know I can’t stand watching laundry baskets and balls!”

He tsked, bopping your nose, “I’m going to ban you and Eddie from hanging out. I was on the basketball team you know!”

You sighed, throwing your head right side up and looked at Max, trying to hold back a smile.

“You’re lucky, I love you.” with that you wrapped your arms around her, embracing her in a hug that silently told her that you were in fact looking forward to it and would go anywhere she asked if it made her feel comfortable.

To be honest, you were probably the most nervous for Max’s first day of school even if it didn’t look like it because you didn’t want her to see through your worry. Kids her age knew of the Billy incident, and you also knew that they were ruthless.

Your heart couldn’t handle knowing that today could’ve been a horrible one for her, where she felt ostracized by her classmates and you and Steve weren’t there to scoop her up and tell all those other bullies to fuck off.

And the funny part is, you and Steve shouldn’t even be this concerned in the first place, but you knew deep down that the both of you would always be this worried for her and her wellbeing.

Max had been through a lot, and you were grateful that she found a safe space with you and Steve because you knew she needed it more than anything. The both of you would do anything for her in a heartbeat because you both cared for her that much.

Honestly, you could’ve cried seeing how happy she looked sitting in your living room with her two friends while they did homework together. And for the first time in a long time, you could see that this wasn’t just one of those half exteriors that she would put on to convince her friends that she was ok.

This was Max finally starting to let her guard down and begin to heal.

The old Max would never really make a return—that Max was the one who died when she watched her brother go. But this also wasn’t the old Max who wanted to retreat from social interactions with people she actually enjoyed being around.

This was Max coming into her own again and you were glad that you got to see it happening in the flesh.

The happiness wasn’t something that was just passing for Maxine, for once it felt steady even in a time where she wasn’t quite sure how sure she was of its presence.

Having Will and El sitting with her at lunch gave her a sense of security, knowing that there were two people she could go to at any given time. It was an even bigger plus having El with her during the last period of the day because they could walk to class together and even talk during free time.

She gushed over the phone when she’d call to tell you about her day at school when she wasn’t spending time at your apartment. Even telling Steve about her obnoxious classmates during the car ride home or begging him to drive slower, so she’d just be a tad bit late before the first bell.

It seemed as though that sophomore year wasn’t as scary as she had thought it out to be. It was less lonely, even if it was only two of her friends keeping her company. There were fewer eyes staring at her and murmuring in the hallways from last school year, and it felt like everyone had moved on—which was great, because she wanted to as well.

Today was one of those days where Max didn’t get dropped off by Steve nor was going to be picked up by him. El and Will suggested that they head to a diner after school to grab an actual appetizing late lunch while they did homework. Joyce was in charge of the early morning drop off and Hopper would do the picking up and dropping Max back to the trailer.

Max liked the new routine: dropping in at your place on certain days of the week and also spending her time with her friends just being regular high schoolers trying to get through the next two years.

There was a sense of normalcy about it that she found freeing. A part of her knowing that she didn’t have to stay locked up in her trailer, wasting the days away, and instead it felt good to go out and have a distraction to help her get through whatever she was feeling.

But she also loved the fact that if at any moment things got too heavy for her or if she just needed a break, you and Steve’s door was always going to be open.

It was a rarity for your college classes to get cancelled, but when they were, it was almost like a cheat day. Spending your time at home, getting to lounge around and watch movies or better yet catch up on your naps that you’d been missing out on thanks to studying and work.

This time, though, you’d gotten to do just that before Steve had called out of work early to spend the rest of his afternoon with you, bringing home a new tape and some candy bars for an extra touch of love.

“I could totally do that.” Steve grumbled, tossing more popcorn into his mouth while the screen displayed Patrick Swayze lifting Jennifer Grey up into the air.

“Hmm sure,” you dragged out, rolling your eyes lovingly as you bit into your second chocolate bar of the afternoon.

A knock sounded on the front door, prompting Ollie to hop down, sniffing and running around in circles at the guest.

“Did you forget to pick Max up?” You paused the movie, looking over at Steve.

He glanced down at his watch, shaking his head, “She said she was getting a ride from Hop to head to the diner with El and Will. It can’t be her.”

“Thats weird,” you thought out loud, shaking it off and heading to the door, leaning down to pet Ollie as you unlocked it.

“Hello?” You started as you opened it, coming face to face with Lucas,

“Lucas! What are you doing here? Did you need a ride or something?”

He shook his head, a smile on his face as Ollie ran to his feet and began jumping excitedly, “Hey Ollie,”

“I got my license a few weeks ago, Dustin didn’t tell you?” He laughed, petting your puppy’s head as Steve came to your side.

“Did they make you parallel park?” Steve asked, smiling at the scene.

I nailed it pretty quickly…do you think I could come in for a bit?”

You nodded, opening the door wider as he stepped in with Ollie in his arms and took a seat on the couch.

“How can we be of service?” You plopped yourself on the opposite couch while Steve sat beside him.

He took a deep breath, looking between the both of you as his hands continued petting Ollie who now laid comfortable across his lap.

“It’s umm, about Max…”

You sat up and so did Steve, who straightened his posture and nodded his head like the protective older brother he was to her.

“What about her?”

“I invited her to my game tomorrow.” Lucas started, the two of you nodding, already knowing this information because she told you guys over dinner a few days ago, “She said she’d come and she actually seems a bit happier now, which has me thinking…”

Steve rose his brows arms crossed over his chest, “About what?”

“To win her back! I just need help trying to come up with a plan. I talked to Dustin and Mike about it, but all their ideas suck. And I even went to El and Will, but they said they can’t help me. So I was thinking you guys could help?”

His voice was hopeful, but the looks that you were giving him weren’t necessarily mirrored with the same smile he had. If anything, you and Steve were quiet, not quite sure on what to say or where to look, so instead you looked at each other, eyes fighting silently over who was going to tell him you two couldn’t help.

Truth be told, after the kids had left your apartment on Monday afternoon, Steve had spilled his guts about the conversation that the three had about Lucas and his invite to the game. He knew it wasn’t his place to throw himself into some teenage issues, but Max was like a little sister to him, and just as El and Will had said, there was a point to be mildly concerned.

Max stood her ground about not getting back together with Lucas. Yes, she wanted to go to the basketball game to show her support towards him, but that did not mean they were getting back together—none at all.

Those were boundaries that Max was setting, and you both knew that you couldn’t sit here and look at this kid and give him the false hope that somehow he could pull off a miracle to win her back.

Eventually the staring contest came to an end, and Steve won.

You sighed, getting up from your seat and sitting beside Lucas, “I’m sorry bud, but I don’t think we’ll be able to help with that,” you said wistfully, a soothing hand resting on his shoulders where they slumped.

“W-why?” He asked disappointedly as you grimaced, squeezing his shoulder trying to get him to relax.

“Because Max isn’t a girl who can be won back, Lucas,” You started, turning your body towards him as you explained, “Look, I know you care about her a lot and there no doubt in my mind that she cares about you the same way, but she just needs this time alone.”

You said it slowly, watching as the young boy’s face settled even sadder, if that was possible. His hands stopped petting Ollie and instead rested smoothly on his thighs. His mouth moving yet the words stuck in his throat as he tried to understand.

“I—I just don’t understand, we’ve been broken up for months. The longest we’ve ever been broken up—”

Steve cut in, patting him on the back. “Trust us, we know.”

Lucas shook his head turning his attnetion back to you, “Isn’t that enough time alone? I just don’t get it.”

You smiled tightly, lifting your shoulders and letting them fall as you grabbed his hands and squeezed, “Because maybe it’s not for you to understand, but it’s something you need to accept Lucas. She needs her space to take care of herself. Don’t you think she’s been through a lot in the last two years?”

Lucas swallowed thickly, nodding his head before hanging it low, “So you’ve gotta let her do this. She comes first no matter what. With that being said, you’ve gotta focus on yourself and the stuff that makes you happy.” You told him sternly, patting his hands before going to grab a glass of water that it looked like he needed.

The young boy was quiet, sulking with disappointment and sadness, knowing that this was completely out of his hands and like you had told him, he had to accept it. It was just painful to know the only girl he ever wanted just couldn’t be with him right now.

Steve knew how Lucas felt. He too was a sophomore chasing after a girl who couldn’t be with him, but under different circumstances because sophomore year Steve was an asshole, but Lucas—not a bad bone in that kid.

“Dude, c’mon, don’t let this get you down.” Steve shook him by the shoulders, attempting to get a smile, but all he got was a frown that didn’t look like it could be flipped upside down easily.

“I just miss her…a lot.” He blurted out, making Steve click his tongue and nod sympathetically.

He knew that Max and Lucas spent less and less time together. And while Max wasn’t fond of talking about boys and romance in front of him, he knew that she missed Lucas as well. How she’d bring him up in random conversations when something reminded her of him. Little things here and there let him know that Max missed Lucas. But many things also outweighed the fact that a relationship would not be good for her right now.

You and Steve were two of the only people to really know what was going on with her and what she was going through with everything inside and at home. So while Steve hated to play favorites and lie—he knew it wasn’t his place nor yours to tell Lucas what was really going on with Max.

That one day, they could have a conversation around it with themselves and work it out like adults.

“I know you do, but you were her friend before you were her boyfriend,” Steve explained, nudging him with his elbow, garnering the young boy’s attention, “Be there for her as a friend. Listen to her. Talk to her. But for the love of god, do not dare push her, because I’ll find out and you know that if I hear that you made her upset—”

Your eyes widened, quickly strolling back into the living room with an ice cold glass of water that you passed to Lucas who stared at Steve nervously before you came back in.

“He’ll have a civil conversation with you!” You finished for him, turning your head towards Steve’s, widening your eyes to tell him to cut it out.

Steve shrugged his shoulders, Lucas paying no mind to you two as he downed the drink, “Yeah, that’s where I was getting at…thanks babe.”

“No biggy, Stevie.” You smirked to yourself, picking up Ollie and cuddling him into your chest as Lucas and Steve watched on.

“Thanks guys, I really needed to hear that. I’m actually pretty glad I came to you two before I followed through with what Mike and Dustin said.” Lucas laughed to himself, shaking his head, making you and Steve curious.

“What was their plan?” Steve rose his brows, sitting back on the couch as you nodded your head wanting to know too.

“Serenade her with some Kate Bush…Dustin said Suzy took him back when he sang Never-Ending Story.” He shook his head laughing, covering his face as he remembered the looks that he and Mike shot the curly headed teen who seemed so serious about it.

You snorted, knowing that while Dustin was an intelligent kid, that dude was just not the go to for relationship advice.

“Well, thank god you didn’t because you would have ruined Kate Bush for her!” You bantered, patting him on the shoulder as he pouted up at you.

“Hey c’mon! I have pipes!”

Steve chuckled, swinging his arm over his shoulder, “You’ve got pipes, but not Kate Bush pipes.”

“You’re right.” Lucas pointed, a smile on both of their faces, before he stood up, dusting off his jeans.

“I gotta run back to school and pick up Erica from band practice,” He told you, pulling out his car keys from his pocket, “But my first game of the season is this Friday—Do you guys think you can make it?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You assured, giving him a tight hug that he welcomed before turning towards Steve and shaking his hand.

“We’ll see you then…and make sure you work on your three-pointers, remember, to turn your feet and size up the basket before you release…”

You sighed, shooting Lucas an apologetic look that he waved off as he continued listening to Steve’s advice, taking it, knowing that it would probably come in handy for this week’s game. As Steve finished off what looked to be a demonstration of a three pointer that had you and Lucas on the verge of cracking up, you planted a hand on the center of his back, leading him towards the door.

“Okay, Steve, I think he gets it, and I don’t think Erica would be happy waiting around for her dear brother to pick her up.” You sing-songed, opening the door for Lucas so he could get a way out from hearing more of Steve’s coaching.

“Go before he keeps rambaling!” You screeched, pushing him out the door where he shouted out a “bye steve!” before jogging down the apartment steps and hopping into his car.

You waved bye to him as he drove off, before Steve’s arms wrapped around your body, him slotting himself behind you and nuzzling his face into your neck as you giggled and shut the door.

“Work on being less confrontational when it comes to Max,” you chided softly, poking his cheek as he pouted dropping his arms around you, yet keeping his chin on your shoulder.

“I was not.” He moped, making you snort, unimpressed by his demeanor.

“Babe, you totally were! When I left to get him water, I came back to you nearly seething and Lucas looking scared out of his mind!”

He grinned lazily, eyebrows raised as he stared at you from the weird angle, “Really?! So it worked, huh?”

You tiled your head, “What worked?”

“Intimidation. You know I was never a big fan of it, but Lucas had to know that I won’t tolerate him trying to force Max to get back together.” He finished, removing his head from your shoulder and going towards the kitchen.

You trailed behind him, a smile on your face as he got water, gulping it down as you leaned back on the counter and stared, “I’m sure Max would appreciate it, but I’m also sure Lucas would never do such a thing.”

He placed the cup down, leaning back on the counters opposite of you, “Oh I know…I just had to remind him.”

You closed your eyes, huffing out another laugh, “You’re impossible.”

Steve knew that he was probably protective of all the kids, but he just felt more protective of Max. He knew things weren’t easy for her, even before the death of Billy, but things just got progressively worse after he passed.

Max would no longer call him and bug him to take her to the movies, and a little piece of him missed the redhead and her quip remarks. If he had known sooner what she was going through, he would’ve stepped in and at least tried to prevent it from getting this bad.

And even though he could never go back into the past, he just hoped that now Max knew that you and he would be there for her in a heartbeat. That you two would do anything you possibly could to see her happy because it’s what she deserved after everything she had been through.

“And it’s in!” Max cheered on with her friends, watching as Hawkins continued to lead the game.

Steve never thought that he’d be back inside the very gymnasium where Billy essentially threw him on his ass, but alas here he was sitting on the bleachers cheering on Lucas while his girl and the teens conversed through most of the game.

Max wasn’t as tense as she thought that she would be, and while this definitely wasn’t her usual scene, she felt composed. She wasn’t sure if it was having her friends here with her or maybe it was just some internal nervousness that she made up in her head that she forgot about, but it was nice.

For this being the first game of the season, the gym wasn’t as crowded, so it didn’t feel too suffocating. She could see Erica and the rest of Lucas’ family sitting closer towards the court, his mother and father often bolting out of their seat when their son made a basket.

It made her smile despite her distaste towards jocks and the whole idea of the sport as a whole. Remembering what Lucas said about being a “nice jock,” she knew deep down that he really was a good guy. Maybe with his addition on the team, there could be some sort of revolution to the Hawkins’ rule book where all jocks didn’t actually have to be complete assholes and instead compassionate meat heads who threw balls into a basket for fun.

Eddie’s insult was totally rubbing off on her, too.

Steve noticed Max’s spurt of silence, catching her staring off onto the court without following the ball with her eyes. He nudged her slightly with his elbow to capture her attention, but not obvious enough for you and the others to catch.

Her eyes flickered to his, jutting her chin up, “Yeah?”

“You okay?” Steve asked, studying her features to see if she was hinting that she wanted to leave early or was getting tired.

She nodded with a smile. “I’m good, was just thinking of stuff.”

“Wanna enlighten me?” He quipped, as she shrugged and turned her eyes back to the court, watching as the opposing team had begun to catch up.

“Do you ever miss being in high school?” She asked.

He tapped his foot against the stands, thinking before answering, “Not really. High school wasn’t the best time for me and I had a bad reputation I was living up to. I’d only ever go back so I could make things right and maybe meet her a little sooner.”

She watched Steve look over at you, smiling wide at your absentmindedness too busy paying actual attention to the game while biting down nervously on your thumb. She could tell that Steve was madly in love with you, and she even wished that Steve had met you earlier too, because you changed him in a way.

You made Steve “the king” Harrington less jocky and more focused on him and his future. Plus, you made him soft in the heart which was a plus because the kids totally used it to their advantage.

“By making things right…do you mean with Billy?”

Maxine wasn’t stupid. She had already known about Steve and her brother going at each other’s throats even before Lucas and Dustin had invited her out to search for Dart, which is when she met him.

Back at home, she could hear Billy talking to himself while he lifted weights in his room. Something about him wanting to beat the shit out of Steve Harrington and take his place at Hawkins High.

And maybe Billy was a bit insecure when it came to Steve because she knew that Steve was who he wanted to be. For all she knew at the time, Steve was wealthy, lived in a big house, and had all the ladies frothing at the mouth for him.

Obsessive…totally, but she knew he couldn’t help it, especially with the upbringing that he had.

She thought that she was going to hate Steve, because while Billy and Max barely agreed on certain things—they both hated pretentious people, which is exactly how Billy had described Steve.

But she couldn’t hate him.

Not when he stepped in front of a real life monster to save her life in a very cramped school bus in the middle of nowhere. Plus, throwing himself outside of said school bus to attract the monsters and kill them by himself to put the kids out of harm’s way.

Maybe Steve Harrington was soft all along.

“Uhh, yeah, partly... yeah," Steve stuttered, not really know the right way to go about this conversation.

The last time Max had brought up Billy’s name was when she had that mini panic attack back at home after the doctor’s appointment. That had been nearly a month ago, and since then she hadn’t spoken about him and you and Steve were more than fine with that—neither of you bringing him up, either.

Billy was a touchy subject for a multitude of reasons.

The first was that he was killed in the line of fire protecting Max and her best friend from death, all while uttering an apology as he took his last breath and she could only watch.

The second is that while Billy did apologize, there were things that he did that were unforgivable in her eyes that would never leave her memory.

His death didn’t excuse any of the abuse that she or other faced.

They all knew this.

Billy was verbally abusive and at the time resorted to physical violence. He would have beaten Steve to death if it weren’t for Max stepping up and injecting him with a tranquilizer. It wasn’t a secret that he’d get physical with Max too—gripping her wrists too tight or straight up, slapping her across the face when she disobeyed him.

But Billy wasn’t always like this and even Max who didn’t know the past version of him, saw that this monster was created—by his father, of course.

She was conflicted a lot of the times, not knowing if it was really right for her to still feel that twinge of anger towards him for the stuff he had put her and her friends through. Or if it was something that she was supposed to magically let go now that he was dead.

She didn’t know if she would ever know how to go about that.

Max tore her eyes away from the court, looking over at him with a grimace to her face, “…I’m sorry for the way he treated you and whatnot.”

He didn’t know where this was coming from, obviously a place of guilt, but why now? And why would she ever think she would have to apologize for something she had no part in?

“Hey, it’s not your fault…you don’t have to worry about that stuff anymore.”

It was long gone for Steve, in all honesty. He had gone through way more traumatic stuff than getting his ass handed to him on the court by Hargrove and nearly dying by a few punches. But he could tell that for Max, it still bothered her. This was like a wound that was still opened, not yet fully healed, even when it wasn’t on her to begin with.

“I know, but still—”

“But nothing, alright? What he did isn’t a reflection of you…you gotta remember that.” His tone was soft yet firm, watching as she nodded and gulped thickly.

His hand came down to her shoulder, resting it there as he looked at her, “Give yourself more credit, Max, you’re nothing like him. What he did isn’t your fault and what happened to him isn’t either. Some things….you just gotta let it take its course.”

All along, that’s what Max was trying to find a semblance of control.

By spending summer locked away in her own thoughts and feelings, she was able to be in complete and utter control. Her brain was wired like a television that replayed and imagined anything she wanted on command.

She could go back to the past and ponder it. Switch channels and jump to the future where she thought up something happier for herself. Go back to the original channel she was on and realize that there was no such thing as a happier future right now.

Stay there, sitting in silence, hearing the static between her screams and breathing. Close her eyes and turn it off, knowing it’d be there for her to turn back on whenever she wanted.

It didn’t occur to her at all that maybe she wasn’t the only one affected by Billy’s death.

Eleven had literally been kidnapped and almost met with her death because of him.

Lucas had to face his horrible words of hatred and assault just because he wanted to be friends with her.

Steve had spent weeks getting verbally and physically tormented by him, and on top of that suffered a fractured nose after the nasty brawl.

Was it selfish for her to assume that she was the only one hurting and grieving even after what everybody else went through?

All along, was it supposed to be her coming out of all of this as the lucky one because she finally escaped her toxic brother?

Was his death supposed to be a silver lining?

But was it her responsibility to make it up to everyone he hurt?

Was everything that went down this summer all just self-absorbed of her?

Why couldn’t she just let it play out like Steve said?

Why now, when she was feeling just a bit better about herself and the future, did she have to feel like she didn’t deserve this?

Why?

“Oh my god! C’mon Lucas!”

Neither her nor Steve had been paying attention to the game.

Max too caught up in her head, thoughts billowing like a whirlpool, going round-and-round with the same emotions, not know if she’d get sucked into the darkness again, or keep swimming until she survived.

Steve was caught up in watching her, reading her features that screamed confusion in a million different ways. Almost like watching her haze out and suddenly lose her own presence sitting in front of him.

It wasn’t until the crowd roared and you shouted out that she had come through. Snapping her eyes open and shut, shaking her shoulders before nodding aimlessly at him and darting her eyes to the court.

Lucas had scurried towards the basket, jumping high as he tossed the ball up before the buzzer sounded.

Hawkins took it home.

“Woooo!”

There was a strain in her cheer that only she or Steve could catch, because only they knew the conversation they had seconds ago. With still so much left unsaid, he hoped what he said stuck with her. That maybe it was just her taking in his words and realizing that the past was past, not something he was still stuck on even after Billy’s death.

“That was awesome! He did really well….so well that I didn’t have to use my powers!” El cupped her hands around Max’s ear, concealing the last bit of her sentence that made Max break out in a smile.

There was an ease to her now. Steve could let it go, just until he knew that she was really fine and didn’t need any more reassurance—but even if she needed it, he’d always be there to fall back on.

“C’mon, let’s go congratulate him,” Steve told everyone, gesturing his hand out to lead them out of the narrow stands and down the stairs first before he followed closely behind.

His hand, holding yours as you walked in front of him and smiled, seeing Lucas’ family embrace him in a hug, even Erica who looked just as pleased at her brother’s buzzer beater.

Max stood timidly, waiting before his parents let go of their hug before Lucas had noticed her standing there.

“You came!” Lucas smiled broadly, opening his arms wondering if it was okay to hug her.

She smiled, nodding as she opens hers and wrapped her arms around his frame, “Didn’t want to miss it. First nice jock in Hawkins history to beat the buzzer is totally one of the history books.”

His chest bubbled against her cheek as he laughed before pulling away, “Thanks for coming, it means a lot.”

“You did great dude, Mike and Dustin are going to be so mad they missed out on this.”

El and Will immediately clung to either of his sides, giving him a hug as he thanked them for coming, knowing that sports wasn’t really their thing.

“Great hustle on that last shot, man. You did great!” Steve cheered, giving him a firm handshake before embracing him in a hug.

“We’re so proud of you, Lucas! I’m gonna need to get you a pin that says, “Hawkins MVP,” then you can add it to your lettermen!”

You were the cheeriest out of the bunch, which was surprising considering that you didn’t like sports very much, yet there you were totally immersed by the game and now most certainly going home to make that custom pin for Lucas despite his protests.

Steve was sure that if he had really gotten serious about his own basketball career and got signed into the big league, you’d be one of those hard core basketball wives.

You were totally into tossing balls into laundry baskets now.

“Invite me to the next game, alright?” Max said cooly, watching Lucas’ face light up as he nodded.

“Of course! And thanks for coming again guys, it’s nice to have my friends here!”

They shared a smile, giving him a wave as they exited the gym and let him have a moment to reel it all in with his family and teammates. And like Steve said, it was a nice change of scenery, not only for Max but for everybody who was so used to not going to school functions like this.

Now they actually had a reason to show up, Steve just wished that next time everyone would be in attendance because Lucas deserved to see everyone who cared about him in the stands—win or lose.

“You guys hungry? Wanna stop by McDonald’s before you head home?” You asked from the passenger seat as the kids hummed “no” in the backseat of Steve’s car.

Steve glanced up to the rearview mirror, getting a glimpse at their tired features. “You sure? There’s one coming up and I could go to the drive-thru?”

Will caught his eyes in the mirror, giving him a reassuring shake of his head before looking at his sister.

“Mom said she was cooking risotto and roasted potatoes tonight so we’re going to have the leftovers.” He told you both.

Steve flickered his eyes from the road, back up to the mirror to see Max staring mindlessly out the window.

“Bug? No McDonalds?”

She shook her head, answering without catching his glance, “No, I’m ok. My mom left a note on the fridge this morning and said she’d be home for dinner. She probably cooked something for the two of us.”

A warm smile tugged at your lips as you twiddled your fingers in your lap, Turing your head over your shoulder “That’s nice! She probably misses having dinner with you!”

Max didn’t tell you or Steve much about her mom. Often times it consisted of, “she’s busy,” “she’s working,” “she’s tired,” “she’s fine,” or “she said it was ok.”

And Max didn’t really like conversations about her mom to begin with. There was really nothing to discuss other than the fact that she was always working and almost never home. She had grown accustomed to it, accepting that work came first, yet you were still here to suggest she stay over at yours so that she wouldn’t eat dinner alone.

In a lot of ways, you filled the shoes of her mother, but more so in an older sister aspect. She could tell you things about her life without seriously getting in trouble because she never did bad things to begin with. It was just that she didn’t have that close knit relationship with her mom to even discuss little things in life.

It was just that simple.

“It’s fine…she told me she took off this weekend so we’re gonna spend some time together, hopefully decluttering because she’s been avoiding getting rid of a lot of stuff.”

You could all tell that Max wasn’t looking forward to it, but you hoped that her mind would change after spending the weekend to bond with her. Her mother wasn’t the best of all time, nor was she perfect—there were definitely aspects that you and Steve didn’t agree on when it came to the parenting she showed Max, but then again it was a tricky subject to go about because neither of you were Max’s legal guardians.

And on top of that, neither you nor Steve were in her mother’s shoes—facing the loss of a son and having her partner up and leave her. She was the one forced to pick up the pieces and try to do her very best to provide for Max and put a roof over her head.

And maybe she got too caught up in the work and money to realize that what Max needed the most was the support around her. Just to have someone to talk to and confide in so that she could understand that what she was feeling was okay, but needed to get the help to get better.

But it wasn’t too late for her mom to make it up to her, and there was a silent hoping that maybe finally, she and her mom could go back to their old mother-daughter relationship. The one where she could tell her anything and seek her advice when she really needed it.

Steve tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, turning on his blinkers as he made a turn into the trailer park, “Well, I’m sure the two of you guys have a lot of catching up to do…we’ll get back to our regular schedule on Monday alright?”

Max undid her belt, humming out contently. “Yeah, plus, it’ll give me time to really miss you guys, especially Steve’s snoring.”

She let out a laugh as you giggled, shifting in your seat to watch her hug her friends before leaning up to wrap her arms around your shoulders, “Call anytime you want, alright? I’ll make sure to give Ollie plenty of cuddles and kisses while you’re gone.”

She grumbled against you, totally forgetting the cute furball that she was always attached to the hip to when she was at your place, “And give him all the treats in the world! I’m going to smother him with cuddles on Monday!”

“Will do, sweetheart…have fun okay?” You pulled away, tucking a peice of her stray hair behind her ear as you smiled warmly, “I love you!”

“I love you too. See you Monday.”

You closed your eyes lovingly, feel her kiss your cheek before she got out of the car and Steve followed, walking her up to the front door where they would always talk for a bit before they said goodbye.

It was routine and part of you knew that they both needed it.

“Is Max okay?” El asked, watching Max nod her head as Steve spoke to her sincerely.

You shrugged your shoulders lightly, knowing it’d be best to not tell them even if you did know or not, “I think she’s okay,” You reached back, clutching the girls hand warmly, “Steve and Max…they have a special bond together, they’re very similar in a lot of ways.”

“Really?” Will asked, to which you nodded with a tight smile.

“Yeah, I think Steve sees a lot of himself in Max and he wants to protect her from going through things that he went through as well.”

It didn’t take a genius to know that while Steve didn’t play favorites with the kids—Max had always been number one for multiple reasons that the kids didn’t really seem to mind with, anyway.

Looking at Max was like looking at a younger female version of himself. The one who used to be happy without a care in the world, then suddenly pushed into the knowingness that life wasn’t at all what it was when the rose-colored lenses were off.

When Steve was her age, he didn’t have present parents to lean on when it came to his troubles and instead it led him to going down a horrible path. One that was filled with chasing after romantic relationships, hoping it would solve his issues instead of confronting the problems in front of him.

The course of his teenage years revolved around destructive relationships and low self-esteem, despite the rumors of the might king Steve would wasn’t shaken by anything.

He knew Max was smart though, but the slightest probable chance she had of actually following down his pathway wasn’t something he was going to risk and let her do. So yeah, maybe Steve Harrington did play favorites, but with good intentions.

He’d throw himself in front of Max no matter what was ahead if it meant shielding her from all the bad because he wished he had parents or even an older sibling who would do the same for him.

If Billy were still alive, Steve wouldn’t hesitate taking another near death experience at the hands of fists if it meant keeping Max untouched.

Max was always going to have someone to depend on as long as Steve was around.

“Try to enjoy the weekend, alright? And go into with a positive mindset, I know it isn’t easy with what you have going on with your mom…but just try, ok?”

She sighed defeatedly, hoping that Steve would tell her that she could pop in whenever she wanted if the weekend wasn’t going well. But Steve also had a point—going into it with built up resentment and anger wouldn’t do her or her mom any good. If there was any chance at their relationships being repaired, she had to try to go into this a little more optimistic than she was feeling.

Max shook her head to herself, giving Steve a tight hug before she murmured into his chest, “I know, I will…just don’t eat all the bagel bites while I’m gone. You know those are my favorites.”

He chuckled, resting his chin on the top of her head when he hugged her close and nodded, “I won’t. I’ll actually save them all for you so you can spill the beans on Monday over some very delicious bagel bites.”

“Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m actually looking forward to a Monday.” She laughed, pulling away from him.

“You’ll survive two days. Drop off on Monday morning?” He asked.

She shook her head, looking at her mom’s car, parked in the grass, “Mom is gonna drop me off, but can you pick me up?”

“I’ll be there.” He grinned, patting her arm, “Night bug, love you.”

“G’night Steve, love you too.”

They shared another quick smile; her waving to the car where you three were watching, and shot her a big smile and wave.

She took a deep breath, preparing herself as she turned open the front door, “I’m home, mom!”

Monday came by soon enough, and to Max’s surprise the weekend wasn’t half bad. She and her mom had spent the two days going over boxes and storage bins of things that they hadn’t been able to go through since they moved out of the house on Cherry Lane.

Most of the items were Billy’s. A collection of baseball cards, magazines, knick-knacks from childhood, and clothes. They both knew they had been throwing it all off to go through those things, mostly because their move to the trailer park was sudden.

After Billy’s dad learned of his son’s death, he didn’t hesitate calling off the engagement with her mom and packing only his things and leaving. The only thing they knew was that he was going to sell the house, and they needed somewhere to go quickly.

Forest Hills Trailer Park it was.

They made do with what they had and tried to make the best out of the situation. Trying to make the trailer a home as much as they could, even if it really would never be that way. All of Billy’s belongings had been shoved into one of the storage closets, and there was a silent agreement that neither of them would go through it until they were both ready.

So while a few tears and laughs were shared between mother and daughter, Sunday was the day where they finally said goodbye to most of his things. Max picked a few t-shirts, a binder of baseball cards, and even Billy's signature leather jacket to keep, and the rest of it would be going to the nearest Goodwill where it would find a new home.

Honestly, it was a little overwhelming, all of the boxes reeking of cigarettes and Billy’s smell even after these two years. She was happy that Monday rolled around because it meant getting out of the trailer and not suffocating in the lingering scent of her brother, feeling like he was there, but he wasn’t.

Meanwhile, Mondays were always slow ones at Family Video, especially with the kids back in school. The only customers they’d get were parents returning their kids’ late tapes and middle-aged people coming in to rent the same movies they’d always get.

“You promise you’re going to let me have next week Thursday off?!” Robin nagged from the counter, watching Steve stock the shelves with recently returned tapes.

He folded his hand over his chest, his face dropping annoyingly, “For the millionth time Robs, yes…you’re going to have next week Thursday off.”

This week, however, was a more exciting one for Steve Harrington because he was moving up at Family Video. From store associate to now manager, seeing as though Keith was finally leaving, and he was going to take his spot.

Initially Robin was supposed to get the position, but declined knowing that it was going to be too much work for her to be in charge of creating schedules and dealing with annoying customers who complained about not knowing how to work a VHS in this day and age.

She would much rather stock shelves and appoint all those customers to Steve while she got to giggle and listen in from the back of the store.

“Just making sure! You know how important Vicky is to me, and I don’t want to screw up our anniversary.”

Despite Robin’s insistent nagging over the past few weeks about her very important off day, Steve understood because he remembered his first anniversary with you. More so, the fact that Robin was completely head over heels for this girl and it made him happy seeing his best friend finally get a chance at romantic love after all these years of pining.

He knew it was only a matter of time before things got really serious with her and Vicky, which would probably lead to the point where Steve was in life. Getting ready to move in with you in your apartment and finally get to call it home.

You were the one who had actually asked him to move in, months ago, but he had declined, seeing as though he didn’t quite make enough to help you out with all of the bills and rent that came with living in the apartment. And even though you assured him that you could cover it yourself, he was stern in the fact that he wanted to make enough first so that both of you could give it your all not have to worry so much about money.

So it was safe to say that Steve was ecstatic to get the position of manager and up his salary just enough to cover half of the rent and the utility bills that now the both of you would half on.

“You’re gonna get Thursday off, but I’m gonna need you to close on Friday because Max needs a ride to the skate shop to change the barrings on her board.” He told her, folding up the cardboard box and throwing it off to the side.

She snorted, resting her hands on her knees as she watched Steve walk up to her. “How is she, by the way?”

Robin never explicitly asked Steve about Max’s wellbeing, because it was none of her business. She understood her place as simply someone who was concerned on the sidelines and only hoped that the young girl was doing okay. By the looks of it, Max trusted Steve out of all of the others, and she could understand why.

Because, like you, Robin knew that Steve and Max were very similar.

They’d bottle up their emotions, let it boil over until it was too late.

Resort to self deprecation and act out on emotion.

They were basically long lost twins.

“She’s doing a lot better. Now that school started its keeping her busy, plus she wants to take up skateboarding again, which will be a good hobby for her to have.” He grinned as she smiled back.

“That’s good. Just don’t try to hop on that board because the last time you did, you almost ruined that pretty face of yours.” She smirked, bopping his nose with her fingertip as she spun around and hopped off the counter and towards the computers to check on late returns.

“That was one time!” Steve argued, holding up his finger as she snickered and continued scrolling through the names of people she would have to call later on in the day.

He couldn’t help but shake his head, knowing he definitely wasn’t a great skateboarder, and his job was actually better off cheering Max on and encouraging her as she practiced dips and tricks on her board.

The phone to the store suddenly rang, catching the two’s attention. Robin who was closer to it, didn’t hesitate to pick it up before the second chime had a change to ring.

“Family Video.” She answer plainly, pushing her shoulder up to stabilize the phone against her cheek while she continued to scroll.

Steve rested his elbow on the counter, watching to see if it was another prank call or irritant customer on the other line.

“Can I speak to Steven Harrington? It’s about his sister, Maxine Mayfield…she’s in the principal’s office.”

Her eyes went wide, snapping her head towards Steve and covering the receiver as she whispered sharply, “It’s about Max.”

Second period came along in the school day, just lunch and two more periods to go before she’d finally get to kick back with her favorite pup Ollie and snack on some bagel bites—something she had been craving all weekend.

Mr. Watson’s chemistry class was actually for upperclassmen, but since last school year Max had showed excelling grades and understanding in biology, she was able to move up to a more rigorous science class this year.

The upperclassmen weren’t that intimidating. If anything, they were just taller and older—but other than that, they and Max were all equal. Mr. Watson was one of those take it easy teachers who basically lectured for the first fifteen minutes of class, then allowed the rest of the time for students to independently work on the assignments before class ended.

It was the most enjoyable class in terms of workload since the worksheets were fairly easy, and it was just was a lot of listening and making sure to read the textbook for the answer. That wasn’t hard at all for her because with Kate Bush blaring through her headphones, focusing was pretty simple.

Today, however, there was a shift. She could hear the whispers coming from the table behind her, a group of boys who were juniors and even one sporting a letterman jacket: a jock. But she didn’t pay it any mind, assuming they were just helping each other on today’s assignment.

“Psst…Maxine,”

Nevermind.

She ignored them, scribbling her pencil a little firmer, enough for the lead to chalk up against the paper as she wrote vigorously.

“Maxineeeee, I know you can hear us! That shit you’re listening to can’t sound as good as us.”

God they were disgusting.

“Just ignore them and keep working, they’ll stop once you show them you’re not giving in” is what Max was saying to herself in her mind.

“Maxine—”

“What the hell do you guys want?”

She couldn’t take it anymore. Yanking her headphones off and slamming the pencil on to the desk, catching the attention of everyone in the classroom. She stood out of her seat, facing the group of childish boys sitting behind her.

The groups boys, cackling to themselves like maniacs while Max glared sharply, moving her head side to side as a way to get them to tell her what they so badly needed to say.

The one with the lettermen leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, “Feisty. You must get that from Billy, right? Or did he give it to you when he burned alive in that fire?”

Her whole world stopped.

She could hear her own heartbeat and blood rushing to her ears despite the boy’s undying laughter. It was sick and twisted. Those words that were spat out as a joke, which clearly wasn’t taken as one by her. At any moment, she felt like she could throw herself at him, punching away at his face and showing him how really tough she was.

But that wasn’t Max.

“Miss. Mayfield….Miss. Mayfield….Miss….”

Her breathing started to quicken as she could hear Mr. Watson calling out her name from the front of the class. Eyes clouding over with salt, the shouting of her name and the laughter got louder. Looking around the room, it seemed the faces of her classmates resembled ones that mocked her, laughing in her face and pointing at her like a mockery.

That was all she remembered.

Steve was glad that the high school was so close to Family Video, but even then it seemed like time wasn’t on his side. Red lights stalled him. Slow walkers were abnormally slower than usual. Cars wouldn’t yield to him.

Each passing second feeling like an eternity to get to her.

All he could remember when Robin had passed him the phone was being told, Max collapsed. She hit her head. And she’s in the principal’s office.Those three statements echoing in his head as he jerked his car into the nearest parking spot and sprinted towards the front office.

The office ladies probably thinking he was a madman, disregarding their pleas for him to sign in on the clip board, but all he could focus on was reaching the principals office.

Max’s back faced him. Her hair pulled up into a makeshift ponytail with one hand clutching an ice back to the back of her head and the other clenched with a tissue in it.

Steve hurried over, dropping to his knees beside her chair, his face covered with concern and worry while the questions urgently left his mouth.

“Max…are you okay? What hurts? Do we need to go to the hospital?” He was peering at her head, trying to see if there was any trace of blood or a cut.

Thankfully, there were no visible injuries.

When she turned to face to him, tear streaks stained her cheeks, and her eyes were swollen from the crying she had doing for god knows how long now. Her quivering jaw struggled to form cohered sentences admits her sobs.

The only thing he could make out was, “I—I can’t.”

She couldn’t bring herself to tell him what happened, at least not right now in the presence of the boy who caused this pain. Not to mention how humiliating it was for her to listen to his parents and himself down play the situation so much so that she started to feel bad about herself even when she shouldn’t.

Steve noticed through her cries, her eyes briefly shifting away from him, directing a glance towards the parents of the boys who was seated on the opposite side of the room. He sat smugly in a char while his parents stood protectively by his side, their faces wearing entitlement as they didn’t carry any remorse for the crying girl.

That’s when he knew something was up.

Shuffling back to his feet, yet maintaining a close proximity to max, he looked towards the principal. “What the hell is going on?”

Steve was all business. Hands on hips, stern look on face, firm voice calling out to the principal who stood from behind his desk and gestured his hands in the air towards Max then the other boy.

“It seems as though Max and Chad got into a scuffle during chemistry.” He explained, but that wasn’t enough for Steve.

“A scuffle?” Steve repeated, his voice strained with disbelief, prompting the principal to nod in confirmation.

Steve glared unconvincingly pointing a finger at Max while holding his gaze, “You’re telling me that a sixteen-year-old girl got into a scuffle with a boy, yet she’s the only one with injuries?”

The boy, Chad, had cut in, “Oh, I didn’t do that to her…she did that to herself.”

Just hearing that whiny, teenage boy voice ticked him off, not even trying to hide the irritated sigh that left his mouth as he turned towards him.

“Really? So she just decided to collapse for no reason and then blame you?”

The man in a suit, presumably the boy’s father, stepped forward in a demanding demeanor, “Watch how you speak to my son…who even are you?”

“Her brother.”

“My brother.”

Steve and Max both answered simultaneously, surprising even themselves by not even hesitating the relationship they had to one another. Though both of them didn’t act surprised, at least not on the outside, as Steve maintained his hard gaze and Max diverted her eyes to her lap.

“Brother? Didn’t he die—”

The front door to the office squeaked open, but still Steve caught the boy’s remark, prompting a whimper from Max whose shoulders heaved slightly as another set of strained sobs left her. It was evident to Steve that now he knew what this was all about.

“Max, I’ve got you a fresh ice pack and a bottle of water.”

Miss. Lawrence had stumbled in unwittingly at the wrong moment, right before Steve was about to go all in, but he knew this was the only opportunity to get Max out of the situation before she heard anything he was going to say.

“You are?” He asked calmly, turning his attention to the woman who approached Max.

She looked up through her glasses, cracking open a water bottle and passing it to Max. Extending her hand for a shake, she introduced herself with a weary smile, “Miss. Lawrence, Max’s counsellor.”

Steve nodded, jaw clenching as he shook her hand and jutted his chin to the door she just had come through,

“Could you do me a favor and get my sister out of here? I just need some time alone with the principal and Chad’s family.”

She stared at him for a moment, contemplating if it was the right decision considering that Steve was seething, on the verge of letting out all his anger towards the situation. Knowing that he was an upset and concerned guardian who was not going to back down, she nodded placing a gentle hand on Max’s shoulder, helping her up from the seat.

As Max got up, she reached for Steve’s wrist, wrapping her trembling fingers around it, and looking up at him through her tear-soaked lashes.

“T—They’re not going to do anything, Steve….it’s no use—“

Max had already looked defeated, like she accepted the fact that nothing was going to change the mind of the principal on where he stood regarding this situation. But Steve wasn’t going to let that happen—he was going to fight for her the way someone should have fought for him.

He shook his head, brushing some of her hair out of her face before speaking gently, “Go, Max. I’ve got this.”

She sniffled, closing her eyes tightly as she nodded, and followed her counselor out of the office and into the nearby waiting room, away from what was going to be an undoubtedly heated confrontation.

Once the door clicked closed, Steve didn’t hesitate on advancing towards the desk, speaking sharply with each step he took, “What are you going to do?”

The principal raise an eyebrow, pretending to be perplexed as if Steve was not addressing him in full. But unfazed, Steve repeated himself, emphasizing his seriousness with his palms slapping down onto the wood.

“What are you going to do to make sure my sister doesn’t have to deal with him again?”

Annoyingly, the boy’s mother crept closer, mockingly slamming her palm beside his, glaring at Steve as she spoke, “Sir, just cut to the chase and tell this man what you told us, that his sister started it. Plain and simple.”

Steve was silently thanking all the gods that you weren’t here beside him right now because if you were, this lady would have received an instant face-to-desk introduction. Unlike Steve, you were the one with a quick tongue ready to lash out on any and everybody when it came to protecting someone you loved—he knew if you were here, it would be no different.

Where Steve’s eyes had drifted, towards the desk where he imagined you’d slam that mother’s face, he couldn’t miss the bright yellow papers that were familiar to him back from his high school days. The form was mandatory for students to fill out when any student came to the principal office for incidents like these.

“Let me see the reports.” Steve demand, pointing at it in plain sight before the principal would try to hide them away or make excuse for not having them.

Picking them up, he passed them to Steve who read them intently. Chad’s report consisted of two whole sentences regarding the situation, shifting all the blame onto Max, blaming, “She got angry at a joke then fell and hit her head.”

Meanwhile, every line of Max’s form were filled, even in the margins, meticulously detailed the entire incident from start to finish, with remnants of her tear drops staining the paper. It included her attempts to ignore Chad and the group of boys who had been relentlessly antagonizing her.

The only thing that Max did was finally snap, asking what they wanted before having a cruel insult about Billy thrown at her, and that’s all she could remember before she woke up on the ground with her teacher and the students surrounding her.

It made him physically sick and it took every ounce of his composure not to grab the boy by his collar and start beating the shit out of him for what he and the rest of the boys did.

He swallowed thickly, lips pressed tight, sliding the papers over the desk, “You told them that Max started this?”

Silence filled the tiny office and it was enough to speak volumes to him that this person in authority was protecting a boy who was capable of something so harrowing.

Steve pointed to the forms again, his voice sharp as he spoke, “What I’m understanding is, you didn’t read Max’s report…or if you did, you didn’t believe her, and you didn’t even call in any witnesses to confirm that my sister is lying.”

He squinted pointedly, looking Chad then back to the principal, “Yet you read his sad excuse of two sentences and you believed that?”

Silence again, and all Steve wanted to do was to shout…to scream at someone to fucking explain how this could happen and how no one was batting an eye to how insanely unfair and unethical this entire situation was.

Finally after a few uncomfortable seconds, the boy’s father cleared his throat, attempting to break off the tension with a laugh, even going as far to pat Steve’s shoulder which he slapped away.

“My son was obvious joking, not the best joke, but let’s not make a big deal outta this—”

Steve snapped, thrusting an aggressive finger in the mans face, “Damn right I’m making this a big deal! My sister isn’t going to tolerate this crap from anyone, you hear me?”

“Mr. Harrington, your language, please.” The principal interjected.

Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes as he turned back to the now talkative excuse of a principal, “You didn’t give a shit when that boy made that comment to Max. Why should I care about mine? Actually…”

Steve couldn’t hold back any longer, locking eyes with both of the parents and glaring, “why don’t you worry about your sons language? It’s clear he doesn’t have any empathy, but I guess you both taught him that, right?”

No one dared to speak, no matter how insulted the parents were because it was the truth. If they did speak it would only put them deeper within the crossfire of Steve’s relentless insults that straddled the line between honesty and harsh realities.

“And you,” He pointed at the boy, stalking up close to him, seeing as though he was wearing a varsity jacket, “You’re on the basketball team right?”

Chad gulped, nodding hesitantly, “Y-yeah.”

Steve made dismissive noise, clicking his tongue, “So you know that being on the team means you can’t rack more than three referrals because then you’ll get kick, right?”

Steve still remembers the rules from his high school experience, and though it had been some time, these were the type of rules that never changed.

“Y-yeah.”

Kissing his teeth in frustration, he walked back over to the desk, jabbing his fingers on the wood.

“I know for a goddamn fact that my sister’s file is clean! Not one single referral in her life,” turning to the boys parents he creased his forehead, “you can check if you want.”

His mother looked away dismissively because deep down she probably knew that her son was a monster who would hurt girls like Max. The father scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest in defensive because he probably knew too, that Max wouldn’t lie about their sorry excuse of a son.

“I want you to open up his file and tell me how many referrals he has. And you and I both know that this number isn’t a shock so think twice about lying to me because I know the police chief wouldn’t mind investigating this and really making it a big deal.”

Steve was not fucking around one bit, not even bothering to look at the principal to make sure he wasn’t lying about the number. He kept his eyes on the parents, whose eyes peeks at the principal opening up the file drawer and instantly finding their son’s files. Chad who still sat in the chair, wasn’t looking so smug now, shifting around uncomfortably because he knew what was coming.

“Six,” the principal admitted, closing the folder and taking a deep breath knowing that Steve wasn’t going to let this off.

Steve nodded, tightly smiling as the parent’s face fell, probably trying to act surprised when it really should be a look of embarrassment and shame.

“So what this means is that Chad over here, is going to get kicked off the team, he and the rest of the boys going to get removed from all the classes that they have with my sister, and I want them suspended.”

This wasn’t a negotiable for him and was not going to leave this office until things would start to happen, “You better get writing because I’ll get the superintendent—the whole fucking department of education down here if I find out you let him and the rest of the boys off. You got that?”

The principal gulped, reaching already for a pen to start writing the suspension notes before Steve could double down on his promising threats.

Steve mostly nodded his head to himself, content with knowing that the boys would pay for what they did to Max and they definitely weren’t going to do it again if they wanted a repeat of today.

“Don’t mess with me.” Steve muttered, forcefully bumping into Chad’s father’s shoulder as he brushed past him towards the exit.

“…and don’t you dare talk, let alone look at her ever again. Clear?” His voice carrying threats, glancing at Chad who swallowed thickly.

“Crystal.”

Walking out of there, Steve couldn’t feel any sense of victory even if he had gotten the situation handled in a way that he saw fit. He just couldn’t feel good about himself when Max was crying in the arms of her counsler, furthering shattering any sense of triumph he would have felt.

“Hey, it’s okay…I’m right here, Max.” He whispered as he approached her.

Hearing his voting she untangled herself from the embrace, seeking solace in Steve by aligning to him and burying her tear stained face into his shoulder.

“Shhh, it’s okay. They’re dealt with. It’s handled ok?” He took on the softest tone he had yet, being as gentle and soothing as possible letting the anger he had felt dissipate knowing that he had to be here for Max.

He placed a comforting hand on the back of her head as she cried, his fingers lightly searching for a bump on her head from when she collapsed, but thankfully like in the office, he didn’t see nor feel any injury.

Miss. Lawrence rose from her seat, giving Max’s shoulder a warm touch and offering Steve a sympathetic look a she explained herself, “I was the one you spoke to over the phone. I couldn’t reach her mom or your wife, but I’m glad that you were able to come down.”

His wife?

You and him weren’t married and it seemed so weird that she had brought it up like that, but right now wasn’t the time to question how the school even got his number or yours to begin with. What he needed to do was get Max out of here for the rest of the day because keeping her here would only make things worse.

“Y-yeah, no problem…I’m gonna pull Max out for the rest of the day.” Steve replied, still holding Max tightly while he sobs slowly subsided to uneven sniffles.

The woman nodded, gesturing towards the front desk, “I can get that sorted out for you guys. It’ll be an excused absence, so she doesn’t need to worry about the missing assignments.”

Steve smiled tight lipped, squeezing Max by the shoulders and pulling her away from him slightly, “C’mon bug, let’s go.”

Max took a minute, covering her face with her hands as she tried to wipe away the tears as much as she could and get herself together. He guided her up to stand, picking up her backpack and slinging a gentle arm over her shoulder, keeping her close to him.

“Bye Max, feel better and don’t forget you can come see me whenever you come back.” Miss. Lawrence called out softly as Max nodded, trying to flash her the sincerest smile despite her sad features.

With class still in session, the halls were empty giving her a twinge of relief knowing that no one would see her walking out of school this distraught. She could spot Steve’s car a mile away, messily and crookedly parked in the stall that strictly was reserved for staff, but he obviously didn’t care for the signpost.

Steve unlocked the car, walking the two of them to the passenger side where he let her get in, even opening the glove compartment to give her some napkins to soak her tears.

He sat in the drivers seat, watching her intently as she dabbed the tissues beneath her eyes, capturing the still forming tears in her orbs. She was really still so shaken up from the situation and he couldn’t blame her because if he was in her shoes, he’d feel the exact same.

“You’re not gonna have to deal with them anymore okay? I promise.” Steve assured her, his voice genuine and sincere.

“I know.” She croaked, voice strained but still filled with trust knowing that Steve had meant every word he said.

Max couldn’t fathom how he managed to handle the situaiton without getting physical, but right now she didn’t want to ask. All she cared about was that the did it for her and that she wouldn’t need to worry much longer.

She looked over at him, seeing his face still tense and washed over with worry. She didn’t even notice the green vest that Steve was still wearing, realizing that he had come from work to be here for her.

“Y-you can drop me off home, if you have to go back to work.” She told him, buckling in and still trying to regain her composure after all the crying.

Steve shook his head, following her lead, “Robin said she could cover for me the rest of the day. I could drop you off if you want, or we can go get lunch, or maybe go to the skate shop now. Wherever you want.”

Her throat tightened, her eyes meeting his, “Can we go to Billy’s grave?”

“Sure.” Steve replied without a moments hesitation, evidently understanding that she wanted to go there for a reason.

The last time that Steve had been to the cemetery was for Billy’s funeral. It was an intimate occasion, only a select few people had been invited, meaning basically Max’s entire friend group and her mom. Billy’s dad couldn’t bring himself to come that day.

He was unsure if Max had come to visit Billy on her own time, but seeing as though it was quite a ways from the trailer park, and she hadn’t ever ask for a ride here before, he assumed that this was both of their first times being back here since last summer.

Of all the places, he just wondered why here and why now? But he knew he had to understand where she was coming from because despite all the options he had laid out on the table, she had dismissed them and made it her choice to be here.

Steve trailed behind, watching as Max approached the grave stone, her fingers tracing the etched letters of his name. She sat down before it, her gazed fixed upon the headstone unclear if she wanted to say everything outlaid or keep it buried.

“Are you okay?” Steve took a seat beside her, his brows furrowing trying to comprehend how she was feeling in the moment.

She shrugged with a mix of frustration and sadness, “It just would make sense that this w-would happen…every time I start to feel happy, everything just comes crashing down—a-and it all leads back to Billy.”

Sure Steve wasn’t the brightest when it came to emotions but he wanted to see the bigger picture and understand, “You mean what happened today?”

“Yeah!” She exclaimed weakly, looking up at the sky, “It’s like, ever since school started, I’ve actually been feeling a lot happier you know?” She looked at him, tears welling again.

“I finally started hanging out with my friends again. I made up with Lucas. My mom actually called out of work for the first time in forever. All of these good things start happening, b—but I can’t help feeling like I don’t deserve it.”

The world was a cruel place, and Hawkins was an exceptionally cruel town, one that was literally cursed in the most horrific way possible. Max lived in the constant state of what felt like haunting where every corner she turned to there was a fear of the past coming back, seeking to take her under.

In today’s case, it was the guilt of feeling like she wasn’t destined for any type of happiness after what she had been through and what Billy had put the others around her through. Maybe Billy dying was the curse haunting her because she felt responsible for every bad thing he had ever done and there was no way for her to shake that feeling off.

What if Chad had been bullied by Billy long ago and maybe this was him getting back after the torment?

She should’ve just sucked it up and not be so affected by his words.

Now she was gong to need to take all the shots that were supposed to be fired at Billy for the rest of her life. She was going to be the punching bag for all of the hurt that he caused. Maybe this was her destiny—to just take all the pain that Billy caused and fix it.

Her thoughts were screaming at her and it was like she could hear Billy in the distance shouting loudly. Fury and anguish sparked within her, her fists clenching tightly as they barreled into the grass beneath her with forceful strikes.

“I should hate you! I should hate you because you made me like this…you made me feel this way. L—like I owe everybody, but I don’t know how…”

Her fists impaled the stiff earth while the desperation and longing to hurt the remnants of her brother six feet under heightened. She wanted to hurt him like he had hurt her—to make him feel her pain for once.

“Hey, stop that…c’mon Max, don’t do that.” Steve pleaded, urgently reaching out to grab her hands, coaxing her to cease the self destructive assault that would only cause her further harm.

She sobbed bitterly, body trembling as she wrangled around, trying to get her fists out of her hold so she could keep going.

“Why—how can you guys even look at me knowing that I’m related to this monster? Shouldn’t you guys just let me be miserable? I deserve it after everything he put you guys through.”

There was a firmness to his hold on her, shaking her hands gently.

“You’re not thinking straight.” He said sternly, getting her to finally look up at him. “You don’t deserve any of this because of what Billy did. You’re not Billy.”

She shook her head with a trembling whisper, “N—no, I was a horrible sister to him. I could’ve changed him. I-I could’ve made him better, but instead…I just let him—”

“You were a child, Max, and you still are,” His voice was loud, but not in an angry tone, just one full of unwavering conviction letting her know this was true, “You aren’t responsible for who he turned out to be and what he did. You can’t beat yourself up over that. He’s gone. He won’t be able to hurt you anymore…or any of us.

Max struggled to accept it, still consumed by tears and sorrow.

“Listen to me, Max,” Steve urged, letting his hands loosen from her wrist, yet not letting go, “you were the best sister you could be for him. You did the best you could. When he was dying, what did you do?” He asked, watching her cry.

He knew she wouldn’t be able to say, but he knew the answer.

His finger tips finally let up on her, going to touch the gravestone, showing her that this was not her fault.

“You asked him to stay alive. You told him that you loved him. You did everything that you could. His death wasn’t your fault and it never will be.”

She needed to hear it to truly believe it.

Steve grasped her shoulders, making her look at him through the cloudiness behind her eyes.

“You might not feel like you were the best sister to him, and I can’t change your mind about that, but I can tell you right here, right now, that you’re the best little sister I’ll ever have. In my eyes, you're the best sister there is. I’m not Billy. B—but it means something, yeah?”

Max cried harder, tugging on Steve’s heartstrings, finally breaking his strong exterior as tears escaped his own eyes. He couldn’t help but hold her face, fingers trembling while he brushed the tears away and felt her sobs against his skin.

“Whatever Billy did in the past is his burden to bare, not yours. He made his bed and now he’s lying in it…but you, you don’t have to lie in his, you don’t have to protect him. You need to take care of yourself and realize that people really do care about you. I care. I will do whatever it takes until you realize that, Max, because I love you.”

That was it. Now she believed it.

She flung her arms around his neck, clinging to him tightly, sobbing into his neck, muffled yet still able to hear, “You’re the best brother I’ll ever have.”

Holding each other and crying in front of Billy’s grave wasn’t how either of them had expected to spend their Monday afternoon, but alas, making the best out of a bad deal was better than just sulking all day.

Steve would have held her there all day if it meant that she would finally grasp the truth—that she wasn’t obligated to carrying the weight of someone else’s mistakes on her shoulder. Max was too young and good for they should to should that kind of pain and responsibly. He wished he could shield her from this feeling and those alike, giving her the childhood that she deserved, but he knew that wasn’t reality.

In the real world, bad things happen to even the purest of people, and Max had been apart of that unfortunate bunch. Reality meant sitting here and talking her though it. Helping her realize that thee burdensome emotions were valid considering her situation but she wasn’t going to go through it alone.

It was time that Max had laid it all out to rest. To leave it here with Billy where it belonged.

Opening the front door to your apartment, you didn’t expect the scene before you at all.

Max laid sprawled out on the couch, her body slipped and drained. Ollie, her ever loyal companion, nestled beside her, with the both of them tucked under her favorite blanket that you owned. Steve was sitting in the arm chair with a cup of coffee in his mug when he flickered his gaze from the muted television to you in the doorway.

His voice was hushed as he approached you,“Hey,” through the dimmed living room, you could only see the concern etched across his face when he settled right in front of you.

You raised a brow, flickering a concerned gaze towards Max and keeping a quiet voice, “What happened?”

Steve sighed heavily, taking your hand and walking the two of you into the kitchen for more privacy not wanting to wake Max who really needed to sleep after a long day. Your mind was racing with questions and the worry in Steve’s eyes when he settled against the counters let you knew that something had gone wrong.

“She had a tough day at school. An incident with some bullies. The school called me and I went over there and got it all worked out.” Steve explained, his voice heavy and broken.

Shock coursed through your veins, instinctively reaching for his hands to clasp together tightly, “Bullies? What the hell did they do to her?”

Steve grip remained soft, rubbing his thumbs against your skin, “They said some not so kind things, but she wants to tell your herself and it’s important it comes from here because it’s a lot.”

You wanted to cry right then and there. From the look on Steve’s face alone you could tell he had been crying and it was only going to make your heart shatter even more when Max woke up and you saw her. Your heart ached at the thought of Max having to go through this after how far she had come already.

Steve could tell you were on the verge of tears, leaning his face forward to brush his lips against yours in a tender kiss, silently reassuring you that things were going to be okay.

“It’s gonna be okay, she’ll tell you.”

Time seemed to stretch as you waited for Max to wake up, every passing minute feeling like an eternity. You attempted to distract yourself with studying, but your mind was consumed by worry, entangled in a web of worst-case scenarios. You knew that patience was the only way forward, that Max's voice deserved to be heard, no matter how agonizing the wait.

But it wasn’t long after three in the afternoon that Max finally fluttered her eyes open, stretching her arms out wide as she began to wake up. Her eyes felt swollen but that was a given, yet she could see you sitting on the floor beside her, mustering a gentle smile.

“Hey, bug…” You greeted, brushing a strain of hair from her face, “feeling better?”

Max nodded, leaning closer into you touch knowing that it was only seconds before she would be crying in your arms. The heartache was palpable and the weight of the unspoken conversation lingered in the air, but you spoke out, giving her the reassurance.

“You can tell me whenever you’re ready to talk, okay?”

She took a deep breath finally sitting up and catching the encouraging nod that Steve gave to her. In this moment she knew she had to come clean because you weren’t going to judge her. Like Steve, you were going to be there and comfort her when she needed you the most.

She had to lay it to rest.

“I’m ready to talk.”

a/n: did i make you cry???? IM SORRY IF I DID! whew! well im back with chapter two of this series and im so sorry it has taken me this long, but i hope you enjoyed this part! i wanted to depict the guilt that max must face when it come to billy death, but also for his past actions and the steps shes taking to move on. let me know what you think!! also, aren't steve and max literally the softest chosen family siblings out there?? ugh, steve would be the best big brother to her--i hope she survives in s5!!

let me know what you think: reblogs, tags, comments, and likes are greatly appreciated!!!

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