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#i suppose it also doesnt help that alot of the work im doing right now i actually sorta hate like none of it is good to me personally
xamaxenta · 1 year
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It’s difficult to not feel discouraged sometimes when your partner is also an artist and happens to be faster than you in every conceivable way
This doesn’t bother me often because everyone is different and comparing production time and skill against each other or anyone is detrimental mostly and its ok to have your own workflow
but it does weigh on me vaguely sometimes sometimes that she can finish 2-3 full coloured pieces within a week and ive been painfully scratching out the same number but theyre only sketches that ill never revisit within a month
None of this actually matters in the long run, it just makes me feel bad on occasion
#like i should be doing more#im very sorry for complaining so much online#i just dont really have any other way to express myself#i know some of you have generously and kindly reached out to me to offer an ear#but my fatal flaw is i cant talk to anyone about my problems i just idk it was beaten into me that none of it matter#matters or my problems arent a big deal and i know ots healthy to think actuallt my problems are worth talking about or a big deal#but its hard to change a behaviour that was kinda literally beaten jnto you that talking about stuff likw this is a waste of time#i guess i just feel bad that i could do more and i dont because i dont want to#but i also want to if that makes any sense at all#i suppose it also doesnt help that alot of the work im doing right now i actually sorta hate like none of it is good to me personally#i want to stop being toxic towards myself#i just wanna stop hating me and who i am and what i do every step of the way#but that mean little voice inside me is like ahh. it wont shut up#I always say i need a break or more time but what am i gonna do with it#doing nothing at all isnt fulfilling#it sounds. sad like what teenager me did and i dont want to be or feel like that ever again but its fuckjng hard#this is so woe is me#im a liar bc i say the main text doesnt bother me but it bothers me alot im very envious of her speed prolificness and drive to create#and i have none like thats so unfair#this makes me sound ultra bitter god fucking damn it#i want to go to sleep and genuinely never fucking wake up again#please im done i just dont want to
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krikeymate · 10 months
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I dont care by apocalyptica (im referring to the US version in this btw. Regular version is good but has like completely different lyrics lol) sounds so much like a tara song from after sam left. Now, i dont care is supposed to technically be about someone genuinely not caring that whoever is gone, but in my opinion, its more like trying to convince not only others but yourself that you dont care. The amount of times they repeat 'i dont care' just kinda proves to me that its just them trying to convince themselves that it doesnt matter. Especially when they add 'i swear' at the end, and as the song goes they progressively shout 'i dont care (i swear)' louder and louder, as if the person is getting annoyed of not only others, but themselves not believing the lie. Also, at the end, they say 'i dont care, at all.' And the way they say it just sounds so defeated, as if theyve given up on tryin to convince everyone else, and themselves, that they dont care.
Some examples of it being a tara song:
- "i try to make it through these lies and thats all i do" could be her trying to find out the real reason sam left, because she feels its all she can do to get sam back
- "just dont deny it, dont try to fight it and deal with this" could be someone else talking to tara about it, telling her she cant just stay in denial and believe sam will come back, that she needs to deal with it
- "if you were dead or still alive, i don't care, i don't care, just go and leave this all behind, 'Cause I swear (I swear), I don't care" could be tara trying to convince herself shes better off without sam, and doesnt care what happens to her. 'Just go and leave this all behind, 'cause i swear (i swear!) I dont care' could be tara wondering how sam could leave her behind, when they were supposed to be family and maybe trying to convince herself that she knew it would happen all along, so it doesnt matter.
- "but your eyes see right through, thats all they do" could be her thinking back on how sam always used to know when something was going on, and how she'll never have that again
- "im getting buried in this place, ive got no room you're in my face, dont say anything just go away" the 'im getting buried in this place' part could be tara thinking she'll never be able to leave the carpenter household without sams help, and 'ive got no room you're in my face, dont say anything just go away' could be the thought of sam never being there again refusing to leave her mind
The examples for this one feels like alot less than the others I've written but this one was alot harder to put into words, it was like in my head i knew everyway that it suited her but it was just impossible to explain lol
I mean, absolutely. Tara's going to get angry after she realises Sam isn't coming back. She's devastated, she's furious, she hates her she hates her hates her (she loves her). Heck these could even work for before Sam leaves. It's her conflicting feelings about Sam in the end.
I try to make it through my life / In my way, there's you - she's trying to move on, to get on with things, but she can't. Sam's memory is standing in the way. I try to make it through these lies / And that's all I do - Sam's lies, her mother's lies, her own lies. They just all pile on top of each other. Sam said she'd never leave hrt, mom says they're better off without her, Tara says she's fine and she doesn't miss her anyway.
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nikrangdan · 3 years
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classmate!sunghoon
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pairing: classmate!sunghoon x female reader
genre: fluff, comedy
description: you felt like park sunghoon was way, WAY out of your league... what happens when the teacher tells him to move seats and sit next to you?
*didnt proofread
————
becoming friends with park sunghoon was not something you expected to happen this year
throughout high school you had a small group of friends and never really stuck out
so when your teacher told sunghoon to move seats..
the seat happened to be the empty one next to..
guess who *cue the evil laugh*
YOU!!!!
your first thought was
‘this entire year is just gonna be him completely ignoring my existence or awkward interactions’
now you’ve heard of park sunghoon.... its basically a guarantee at your high school
he has this group of friends and theyre labelled as the popular kids i guess you could say
and the only reason he had to move seats in your two hour long class was because he and his friend jake goof off in class too often and your teacher deemed them “too distracting”
so eventually sunghoon was forced to move all the way across the classroom
right next to you
you were shocked to say the least
obviously he was handsome
too handsome to the point where you questioned how someone as good looking as him went to your school
he sighed and got up from his chair next to jake
but he still had a small smile remaining on his face indicating he wasnt that upset about him having to leave his friend
your heart began to beat quicker automatically as he walked towards your desk
even if you didnt have a crush on him like alot of people did, you still felt nervous around popular students like him for some reason
he ran his hand through his hair and sat down next to you, setting his bookbag on the floor next to him
he didnt look at you, nor acknowledge you
Awkward....
but nonetheless the lecture began again and the class sat in silence
taking notes on their laptops or sleeping
there were around 30 people in your class and your seat was in the middle row next to the window so you often gazed outside from the 2nd floor during class
you glanced to your right and noticed sunghoon slouched back in his seat, twirling around a pencil in his hand while his laptop remained open on his desk
it was just a white screen so he didnt take any notes
you were surpised because you knew he had fairly decent grades
you ignored your thoughts and continued taking your own notes
soon enough the bell rang and sunghoon stood up immediately and walked over to jake
‘yup’ you thought. ‘we are definitely not going to be having a single conversation this year.’
fast forward a couple days!!!!
you were sitting in class next to the boy
as normal
and you still have yet to talk to him.. mainly because you never initiated conversations ESPECIALLY when its a really really cute boy
anyways
ur teacher is like
Ok class im assigning a project and ur partner is the person sitting next to u
yay!!!!!! (can u sense the sarcasm)
welp
you sit in silence while everyone in the class starts discussing with their partners
the project is you have to make a presentation on a world issue of your choice
“um...” u start
sunghoon starts pulling out his laptop and binder
“what do you wanna do?”
he doesnt even look you
well!!!!!!
u didnt know sunghoon and his group of friends very well but u definitely thought they were more... friendly than this
its silent for like 5 seconds
“huh? oh sorry did you say something?”
“uh yeah.. i asked what you wanted to do for the project.”
“project?”
God u tried so hard not to laugh
you think he noticed because his cheeks turned a really light shade of pink
he looked so innocent
“yeah we have to make a presentation” you lightly chuckled
he was very amusing without even trying
“oh sorry haha.. i zone out easily”
“its okay.. but its due in less than 2 weeks so”
so you two spent the next hour choosing a topic and working on the project
it was kind of awkward for the first 10 minutes but then you warmed up to eachother
u were lucky that he was an extrovert too
(sunghoon is an extrovert for the sake of this story OK)
u were also lucky that he was smart
it was easy for you to talk to him.. he just felt comfortable
contrary to ur prior belief.. sunghoon was actually a really really cool guy
u used to think he was just a guy
now u think hes a really really cool guy
“can you please stop putting penguin clip art on the slides” you giggle
then he puts parrot clip art instead
“do your work!!!!” he was supposed to keep researching but he was trying to balance his pen on his nose
“shhh y/n... im doing something important.”
you roll your eyes
he was always doing something that was Not work
but you found it entertaining
and he’d make dumb little jokes that made you both hide your faces in your arms on top of the desk to hide your laughter
“hey y/n”
“what”
“what do you call an old snowman”
“i dunno.. snowgramps”
“no.. water”
you both made eye contact before bursting into laughter and then forcing yourselves to be quiet before u got in trouble
but that made everything funnier so you both were just covering your faces while trying so hard not to make a sound
this was so weird
u have never clicked with someone so fast before it honestly felt exciting
you were talking to sunghoon as if you’d been friends with him since birth
Very Very weird because you had only talked to him an hour ago and now u two are acting like besties ?!?!
jake noticed from across the room too
hes like ‘Why is sunghoon having fun without me🙄🙄’
the bell rings and so far you only have 2 slides
“we didnt get anything done” you note as you pack your bag
“yeah yeah i know. we can work on it more tomorrow”
“right.. see you tomorrow” you’re about to head out until jake walks up
“hey bro” he and sunghoon do some kind of made up handshake before he turns to look at you
now you know jake
everyone knows jake
you used to think he was the sweetest out of all their friend group
and he definitely lives up to that!!!
“hey y/n!” he gives u a smile
AWE hes so adorable
“hi” u reply
you were trying to speed up this conversation though so you could go eat lunch with your friend
“hows the project going?” he asks
“bad. sunghoon doesnt know how to do anything.” you deadpanned jokingly
sunghoon looks at you with an offended look that makes you wanna snort
“hey! you’re the one who doesn’t know how to add text to the slide!”
“what the hell sunghoon?! don’t tell him that, it’s embarrassing!” you give him a dirty look before walking out the classroom door with a smile on your face
days passed and you and sunghoon would only speak during that class but whenever you did it would be a mess
“sunghoon, y/n, quiet down! there is no reason for my classroom to be this loud!” your teacher scolds you two after sunghoon slapped his desk after you accidentally snorted
u two had such a weird relationship
u were almost strangers outside this one class but besties when u were in it
jake noticed too
one time he asked sunghoon during lunch why ur relationship was what it was
“i dont know.. thats just how we are” he answered
but jake kind of suspected sunghoon had a crush on u
*wiggles eyebrows*
it had only been a week but jake was determined to set u up together
“y/n you look cold, heres sunghoons jacket!”
“y/n sunghoon needs help with his homework, can you maybe do something about that..”
“sunghoon, y/n looks sad go give her a hug”
needless to say it worked!!!!
because a week after you presented your 2 weeks worth project
sunghoon asked u on a date
YUPPPPPP
let me recite how it went
u were walking out of class together because jake wasnt there that day
sunghoons bookbag was slung over one shoulder and u were stood next to him with both hands on ur straps
“hey.. do u wanna maybe go grab something to eat with me for dinner..? or something” he quickly asked
“what, like a date?” you joke
“uh.. yeah” he replied looking down at u
u stop in your tracks
WHA
No way
“wait what? seriously?” you look up at him with wide eyes
“yes u little munchkin” he pinches your cheeks exaggeratedly and pulls them to make your face sway everywhere
u swat them off so fast
“um.. okay” u answer and ur face heats up
you cant even look him in the eye
like u cant say u DIDNT see this coming but it was still a shock
“awe is y/n blushing” he teases
“go away stupid”
yeah he doesnt go away
ANYWAYS u are the cutest couple ever
everyone wants to be u two so bad!
couple goals literally
jake is so proud of himself honestly
whenever u get into a silly little argument his rebuttal is always
“remind me who got u the best boyfriend ever? thats right, me. dont try me y/n”
and ur like
“ooohhh jakey im so scareddd”
he cannot stand u
but Yeah sunghoon bestest bf ever
takes u on dates whenever u want to
makes u laugh very much
almost too much
and ur parents LOVE him
mhm sunghoon very awesome guy
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Text
My Love| Echo pt 3
Note: i'll edit this later, my mouth hurts from wisdom teeth removal but wanted to get it out for you.
Warnings: No real warnings, but there is a semi spicey scene and mentions of nudity towards the end, but doesnt go into too far of detail. And Echo's legs are cannoned a bit lower than tcw meaning yes Echos got an ass, but his legs and thighs stuff like that are still metal so
Reader: Male
Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 3.5 | 4 | 5 | 6
Master list
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Y/n watched the boys try there food. They're faces lighting up as the room became silent, people busy digging into there food.
Y/n ate his own, his hand on Echo's thigh under the table, Echo's leg touching Y/n's.
"Ma'm this is way way! Better than rations!" Wrecker cheered.
"Im glad you like it so much, so tell me boys. What brought you over here?" Margie asked.
Hunter swallowed his food, "well we wanted to meet Echo's boyfriend Ma'm, we had no idea they had been dating for so long."
It was lucky for the group that talked they stayed together, near the head of the table where Margie sat, a small kid or two down from her.
"Echo's been nothing but a delight. To both my son and my family." Margie praised, "he's a good kid, Im assuming he gets it from his older brothers?"
"Oh...uh." Hunter spoke.
"He's older than us." Crosshair responded for the group.
"Oh?" She smiled, "you learn something new every day."
She looked at Y/n who nodded and smiled, "Yep."
"So where are you boys staying?" She asked.
Oh shit. Was the only thing Echo could think of. His brothers? Staying here?
"Oh we have our own place." Tech responded, "We live in a building complex called the Marauder."
Well that was a lie.
"Wait. Isn't that the name-" Y/n was cut off when Hunter kicked him.
"Ow.."
"Sorry. Foot must've slipped." Hunter responded his head slightly jolting towards the side, Echo was lost in his food, eating small spoon fulls, he was listening inteny even though he tried to cover his easedropping up.
"Oh! Yeah!" Y/n chuckled, Echo's frame slightly picking up.
"Oh. Nice place then?" Margie spoke.
"Oh..uh yeah. Decent..just a bit cramped but we don't mine." Hunter told, "we do alot of delivering off world too, so we work a decent amount...Echo! Echo here works the hardest. He may not be the strongest but he sure knows how to uh-"
"Pack a crate! And log the ports data. He's also a skilled mechanic!" Wrecker joined in.
What were they doing? Fake Prasing him? Why?
She smiled, "You boys seem like you like your jobs."
The boy's nodded, Y/n watched as Tech, Hunter and Wrecker hyped up Echo. The boy's trying to support Echo, "and you? Crosshair was it?"
Crosshair stopped from putting a spoonful in his mouth, "Oh. I.-" he looked at Echo infront of him, "I have a long way to go, a lot to learn."
"The youngest then?" She questioned.
"Yeah..." Crosshair responded bringing the food to his mouth.
"That's a sweet little bussniess you all have then," she congratulated, "We'd have to work with you one day, we have a business of our own."
"What's the bussniess if I may ask?" Tech questioned.
"Well our main bussniess is a food bussniess, you know selling buying, producing, but recently we've started a non-profit organization for battle droids."
"For battle droids? Clankers?" Wrecker asked.
"Thats what them clone boys call them," She smiled, "we basically rehab them, and send them back into the world, most as servants, translators. Small things."
"That's uh well..."
"I know I know. But here we believe that everything stands a chance." She contuined, "Echo has helped us alot on efficent repairs."
Echo nodded as he put a spoonful in his mouth.
"We have one that takes care of the animals in the small barn." Margie told, "Y/n! Have you showed them the animals dear?"
"No ma. This is only the second room they been in." Y/n informed.
"How dare you not give them a tour!" His mother spoke fake harshly, Y/n chuckling his mom soon following after.
"Oh mommy dearest I ask your humble apologies even though I don't deserve it. I suppose I'll sleep outside in the barn."
The two laughed as they smiled at one another.
"I'll show them around afterwords. Prepaired for your world to be rocked." He told the boys infront of him.
"Well I welcome you to the family boys. Its always a pleasure to have another few join the bunch!" She cheered.
"Thank you." Hunter spoke.
She smiled for a final time return to her food as did the others, small talk. Kids started asking to be excused, when excused they took there dishes and walked into the kitchen to clean there dishes and put them on the drying racks.
Echo finished before Y/n asking to be excused he got up with his dishes and went to clean them. Wrecker asked next, he being excused as he grabbed his own things and left.
Echo was along cleaning his dishes, his plate flat in the sink as he scrubbed the plate with one hand.
"Wanna hand?"
Echo turned his head, "oh. No. Im good."
Echo turned back towards his plates.
"Echo. Im. Im sorry." Wrecker apologized, "he's better than any lady you could date."
"Oh. Uh." Echo spoke, "thanks..."
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Wrecker told him.
Echo frowned, "I. I know Wrecker. I shouldn't of yelled at you."
"We've should of waited for you to explain."
Putting his dishes on the drying rack he turned to Wrecker who stood next to him, Wrecker's dishes sat on the counter patiently waiting for his turn.
"It's. Okay." Echo responded, "I, I forgive you, at the end of the day. I'm the only one dating him. Right?"
Wrecker smiled, "So. We're okay?"
Echo nodded, quickly being picked up in a hug as he chuckled, patting Wrecker's shoulder.
"Now do your dishes before Y/n's mom cuts your head off." Echo joked waving smally to him.
Echo walked back out, going down the hall and too the living room, the room filled with silence as he collected the cups from eariler.
Bent over setting all the cups down accordingly there was a whistle, a soft one, not loud enough for anyone to hear if they weren't in the room.
"Would you look at that ass." Y/n spoke, Echo standing straight as he turned around, "aren't you a gifted fellow?"
Echo chuckled, "You should be careful what you say in here."
It was Y/n's turn to chuckle.
"Why's that?"
"Why do you think?" Echo questioned as he watched Y/n walk forward, grabbing his hips and pulling Echo closer.
"All I do is tell the truth," Y/n smiled.
Echo's arms drapped on Y/n's shoulder's, Y/n holding his hips.
"Now this is something we shouldn't be doing in here." Y/n teased.
Echo smiled, "One kiss never hurt anyone?"
"Oh?"
Y/n smiled, leaning down kissing Echo. His hand running through Y/n's hair, Y/n pulled away from Echo, foreheads resting on one another.
"I love you." Y/n told him.
"I love you too." Echo smiled.
Y/n pulled him into a short kiss, "You wanna sit on my lap again baby?"
"Gladly-" Echo was cut off again with a kiss, a chuckle filling his mouth from Y/n.
"Get a damn room!"
Y/n pulled away, glaring at the teen.
"Well Enzo. I am in a room! So get out of it!" Y/n argued, Echo's head in Y/n's shoulder.
"Well mom wants you to give those guys a tour." Enzo responded.
"Alright." Y/n spoke, turning back to Echo, "Later baby."
Echo was give a kiss on the lips, Y/n grabbed the tray.
"I can do that," Echo spoke stopping Y/n.
"How about you can do this one day, when we have our own home." Y/n spoke, "you know when we're married and have a little farm."
Echo flushed deeply, a farm? With him and Y/n all by themselves? Sounded...sounded. amazing.
Y/n pulled away from him tray in hand, "come on let's give that tour."
Echo followed Y/n dropping off the tray and then taking the boys around, introducing them to all the kids, big, medium small to twilek, zabrack, human to torguata. All of diffrent personalities. Some reading on there bed, some working out, some listening to music, others playing with dolls and action figures.
And then there was his room, nothing special, Echo and his favorite record in sitting still as the song had finished, a box of records tucked under the small table the record player sat on. The sheets a dark purple his pillow cases a matching dark blue a window at the far end.
"Please come in." Y/n responded offering them to come in and look around.
They filed in, the room fitting all them comfortably.
"It's quiet simple," Tech explained, "Your personality is a bit more bubbly so I was expecting something wild."
"Like that?" Crosshair questioned.
"Like what?" Tech responded turning around to face the wall behind them.
The wall was filled with photos, drawings and dried flowers, a vintage theme, branching off into its sub groups.
"There it is." Tech repsonded adjusting his glasses.
"Please feel free to look around." Y/n responded.
Crosshair stood next to Wrecker as they looked at the photos.
"Hey! It's Echo! Look!" Wrecker cheered as Crosshair peered over, the photo of Echo asleep on the couch, kids knocked out with him, "and Kamino!"
"How's you get a picture of Kamino?" Hunter questioned now also looking at the photos.
"Echo here got it for me." Y/n smiled as Echo rubbed the back of his head, "Its not just my memories up there- Hey! Lets get our own photo up there!"
Y/n got up going over to his desk as he lifted the top up pulling the old porloroid out.
"Echo." Crosshair spoke as the clone came over, "wanna explain this one?"
Echo looked at the photo, he clearly knocked out in Y/n's bed, his back bare hinting towards what had happened before hand, the blanket covering to his mid back and down, his arms tucked under a pillow permentatly fluffing it up as his cheek was baired into it.
"Not bad." Crosshair spoke nudging his brother, he was trying.
"Here is is new film and all." Y/n smiled going towards the group, "Come on! Gather around."
Y/n smiled as the group akwardly grouped together infront of the window. Looking at the group he rushed over, pushing them closer together.
"It'll be on a timer so I only have a few seconds." Y/n told them walking back over, "ready?"
"Uh sure?"
Y/n quickly pushed the button rushing over to the group, he quickly stood next to Echo. There was a click as Y/n rushed back over. The photo coming out the bottom as Tech rushed over intrested.
"Oh nice its comin through already." Y/n smiled, soon waving the square around as he walked over to his desk picking out a red and black thumb tack.
"Hmm..." y/n spoke rushing over to the wall looking around, "hah! Echo come here! Help me put this up."
Echo walked over as the boys watched him hand Echo the image and tack.
"See right there." Y/n pointed a spot above the door, dead center towards the ceiling.
"We'll move this one." Y/n said pulling up an old photo besides the light switch "up there."
Handing Echo the old photo they swapped Y/n pinning the new one with the group with a smile.
"Ready?"
"Yeah-"
Echo was grabbed by the legs, Y/n picking him up as Y/n grabbed the back off his thighs.
"A bit higher." Echo spoke as Y/n pulled his arms back, tight on Echo's thighs he pushed the clone upward, his thighs now trapping Y/n's face as Y/n's hands vanished behind Echo's kama skirt.
"Got it?" Y/n asked his chin resting at Echo's belt.
"Yeah." Echo spoke, his face red as he cleared his throat.
"Ready?'
"No- Y/n-" He spoke as Y/n laughed walking towards his bed, "Y/n! Y/n! I'll kill you don't- Ah!-"
Y/n tossed the trooper on the bed he bouncing as he let out a grunt, Y/n only chuckled turning back towards the boys, "come on i'll show you that barn they were talking about."
Y/n lead the boys along to the backyard, showing them the small barn his father worked on fixing a small animals leg, waving a B-1 droid showed up in a happy matter the others ready to fight.
"Master Y/n!"
"Please Y/n is fine B." Y/n smiled, "Boys this is B. He helps with the animals."
With an akward introduction the batchers kept there distance, but with the end of the small barn came the end of the tour. It now late in the hours of the day as the boys made there way our. Excusing themselves for the night.
"You'll have to come back." Y/n smiled.
"If its okay with Echo and your mother. " Hunter spoke, "and you of course."
"We'd be delighted to have you again." Y/n smiled, "Please. Come anytime with Echo. Or by yourselves. We're open doors."
Hunter nodded, the batch saying there goodbyes and thanks once more. They started there way away from the home, Tech staying back, "I suppose not all regs are regular after all. And that's good."
With his last comment Tech rushed to join the others.
Echo stayed behind with Y/n who smiled as the boys vanished.
"Now. That we're. Alone." Y/n teased.
"Alone? Really in this house?" Echo teased back.
Y/n chuckled, "as alone as we can be."
Echo smiled as Y/n closed the door.
"I'll go make some more milk and honey, you. Go get ready to cuddle." Y/n ordered playfully.
"Thats something I can do."
Him and Y/n unfortunately went separate ways, Y/n cleaning the cups and pot setting them to dry as one of the old B-1 droids would put the mass of dishes away during the night.
He pulled out another pot, putting it on the stove filled with the sweet liquid he wipped the tray clean, putting a fresh set of cookies on a small plate and two cups. Just in time as the pot started to whistle, pulling it off the stove he turned the gas off and went to his room.
Holding the tray in one hand he opened his door, "hey hope you didn't miss me too..."
Y/n's frame filling the door way, but froze seeing Echo's bare back facing him, a blanket sat high waisted on him as Y/n quickly stepped in, quiet with his steps he locked the door behind him, Echo now standing up and facing Y/n the blanket still around his waist.
"I uh..." Echo responded with a flush, "thought...you might like this first..."
Y/n flushed as Echo dropped the blanket, setting the tray on the nearest surface big enough, the floor flush against the wall besides the door, he walked over, kicking his shoes off in the process.
"Baby you have no idea how much I like this." Y/n told him, Echo's gaze away.
Maker. Y/n took his thumb to Echo's chin, Y/n's soft skin lightly tapping up Echo's chin to look up at him. Holding Echo's chin in place with his thumb and index finger Y/n smiled smally, his eyes filled with love for the pale male infront of him.
"Y/n. I..." Echo trailed off.
"Shh..." Y/n hushed softly, his thumb running down Echo's lip and back to his chin, "You don't have to say anything..."
Echo raised on his toes, leaning up to kiss Y/n, Y/n leaned down, the first kiss was almost shy, there lips only pressing together in sweet presence of one another. The small kiss leaving Echo breathless. They pulled away shortly. Another one soon be initiated, Y/n nudging Echo to sit down softly, he following Echo's movements, Y/n sitting besides him, the kissing barely any more intense, Echo swinging a leg over Y/n's straddling the taller male.
Y/n held the small of Echo's back, the two's makeout session growing in heat as Y/n's hands running down Echo's back and to his ass, where he gladly let his hands rest of Echo's warm skin while they kissed.
It was soon for breathe they pulled away, Y/n attaching himself to Echo's neck. Echo's hand through Y/n's hair as he hummed against Echo's pale skin, earing a soft mewel.
"Y/n...take me...take me away..." Echo whispered, Y/n laying Echo down on his back, his lips never movinv from Echo's shoulder.
"Take me away...Y/n..." Echo meweled softly, the words spilling from Echo's vocal cords once again.
Y/n stopped momentarily to lean up into Echo's ear, "only if I can come along baby..."
The night was filled with passion, hair being pulled in pleasure, moans dripping off each others lips, ripped from there vocal cords in call for the other one. Pleads drawn from the bottom as Echo left a few new scratch marks on Y/n's back, along with a line of hickeys following Y/n's collar blade to sholder. Y/n did the same, leaving hickies along Echo's body, where skin met metal.
Echo laid flat on his stomach now, his head turned towards Y/n. Y/n held a stupid large smile on his face, his finger's interlaced with Echo's.
"That was somethin else babe." Y/n told him softly, "Parched after the time of your life?"
Echo chuckled as Y/n pulled himself up, and out of bed. Echo receiving a pleasent veiw of Y/n's behind with one side having present marks, they currently defined and fresh, marks both darker and lighter spotted Y/n's back, mostly towards his shoulder and nape of his neck.
Echo watched Y/n pick up the tray and make his way back to the bed setting it on the nightstand, climbing back in the covers as Echo nuzzle up to Y/n.
"Clingy now are we? Let me pour you a cup atleast." Y/n chuckled.
Pouring them both cups Echo was handed one cold cup, "Thanks."
"Mhmm," Y/n acknowledged the two cuddled up, "shame its cold. Must sat for too long, needy thing arent you?"
Echo flustered, but took a risk himself, "Could still be longer."
"Oh? And what are you gonna do that I haven't done to you?" Y/n teased, Echo took a heavy drink, hoping it would bring him energy later taking Y/n's he sat it on the nightstand next to his own side of the bed.
Echo pushed Y/n onto the bed flat, the covers still hiding Y/n's lower half.
"I haven't rode you." Echo told boldly.
Y/n smirked up at him, "You're right you haven't,"
Echo's leg's swinging over Y/n, "Think you can handle me?" Echo questioned.
Y/n chuckled, "Baby you have no idea what I'd endure for you." Y/n sat up, holding Echo's face with a hand.
"Lets see then." Echo responded Y/n biting his lip as he pushed the covers down with a foot.
Y/n was pulled into a kiss, his hands running up and down Echo's back as Echo pushed him to the bed, the kiss never breaking.
Read the Next Part here if you like smut or stay generally sfw here
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paypay0315 · 3 years
Text
The Space Between (3)
Pairing: Eren Yeager/Reader or Female OC!
word count: 3.6k Series
Summary: Harmony was a young girl who just lost her family, she was more of an open wound then most. When she catches the eye of Eren Yeager her whole life changes and she doesnt realize she might be in love.
Content for this Chapter: Rivals, mean eren, mean oc!. somewhat nice eren
She was tired. Her breathing became heavier and heavier the more she ran. This was her 10th time running around the bulidngs how long does he want her to keep going? She starts to move into a slow walk at the lack of oxygen she is starting to feel.
"KEEP RUNNING" her commander yells out.
She looked over to see him standing there watching her every move. She knocks her head back trying to get some relief from the strain in her neck. She huffs out and turns around cause she hears dirt being smashed and she sees its....... Eren. How did he get behind her so fast? She can't get beat by him.
She starts to run faster so he won't catch up to her. "I'm gonna beat you!" she hears Eren yell out. Hes getting closer. Did he get faster?
She cant let him win. "No you arent!"
He comes to her side and now they are running as fast as they can. Shes so close to the finish line, she just has to keep running.
She puts her head forward and passes her commander she starts to slow down her running. "I totally beat you!" Eren says painting.
"No you didn't I beat you!" she yells out bending down to put her hands on her knees.
"DID TOO!"
"DID NOT!"
She furrows her brows at him. She stands up about to go up to him but a hand stops her. Its her commander.
"Do you want more time?" he asks. She turns away from him.
"I shouldn't even be doing this, when he started it!" She pointed her finger at Eren.
He scoffs, "Huh?! You're the one who started it!!" He yells at her.
"For the LAST time, I DIDNT START IT!" She screams.
They both walk up to each other about to punch one another before they both get knocked down to the ground by their commander.
"THATS IT! ANOTHER TWO WEEKS ADDED!" He screams as loud as them.
They went silent after that. "Are you serious?!" Harmony asks.
"Do I look like i'm kidding?" He quirks his eyebrow up at her.
He's not kidding.
"The both of you get out of my sight before i banish you both" he spits.
Both Eren and her get up and go back to their room to get their rest of their duties started.
This will never end with him will it?
.....
"Eren!" Armin yelled out to him. "So how was the run? he asks.
"Like it always is" he huffs getting ready to go clean the Tavern.
"She gave you a hard time again?" he aksed the young boy.
"No..... shes just like she always is. And im not gonna let her be a bitch towards me-"
"Eren" Mikasa interrupts him. Eren looks her direction. "You cant let her get to you like that or you're going to get kicked out"
"Im not"
"You are, you were always hot headed like this" she tells him. "How are you supposed to 'destroy all the titans' when you cant even train to beat them anymore?" she tells him.
Shes right. He knows she is right.
"So you want me to sit there and let her disrespect me?" he tells her.
"No, but you dont need to be one step closer to getting kicked out."
He stays silent.
"We need you Eren...." she wanst to say more. (I need you) "We cant sacrifice you because you will be the one to destroy the titans" she says soflty.
"Right armin?"
Armin turns to look at her. "Yes"
"Mikasa don't tell me what to do. i'll deal with her my own way" he says and walks out the door.
They are right. He doesn't want to admit but they are right. He cant let someone like Harmony destroy his dream of destroying the titans.
....
She huffs trying to get the sticky beans out of the floor. They had two more weeks left to clean out this whole tavern and they werent even half way finished. She looks towards Eren's and sees him standing on top of the stairs wiping away the tea that was thrown there.
She rolls her eyes at how easy it is for him since he is just wiping something easy while shes abou to blow her shoulder out trying to clean this food. "You know it would be alot quicker if you helped me clean this side, you know like our commander said! she growled.
He doesnt say anything back. Is he ignorimng her?
"Hey? Im talking to you! she gets louder.
He doesnt say anything back again.
She throws the silver wear at his head. "Hey! Cut it out!" he yells
"Im talking to you!"
"Yeah i can clealry hear you, you sound like a whaling cat!"
Her mouth agaps at the insult, "When im talking to you, you talk back idoit!"
"No I dont, look im trying to get this done and you are distracting me!"
"im disctrating you?"
He nods his head.
"Distracting you from what excalty, you falling on your face half of the time" he stops and she smirks at how much it got to him. For the past weeks he hasn't been able to do any of the training cause he either falls on his face or is the last one out of all of the them. He throws the towel on the floor ands walks towards her.
"Look! I dont know what your problem is but i don't have time for it. I didnt come here to fight humans I came here to fight titans. I have a dream. A dream that one day I will destroy all the titans, and you are ruining it! So yes im ignoring you because i dont need some annoying wench like you DESTROYING MY DREAM!!'
Well that was dramtic.
But she doesnt say anything. She just looks at him.
In a way she saw herself in him. She had the same dream.
She turns around and walks away picking up a towel to help him with the cleaning. "You aren't the only one with that dream you know?" she says quietly.
"Huh?!"
"I'm saying, you aren't the only one who has come here to get some petty revenge on the Titans...... everyone here has lost someone..... someone important to them" she looks away from him trying to fight the tears coming down her face.
What does she mean by that? He thinks.
When she turns around he sees tears welling up in her eyes, he also notices how she is trying to hide them. Why? Did something bad happen to her?
When he looks at her, he doesn't see the same Harmony that threw food on him, or the same Harmony that screams at him every chance she got.
He saw someone softer, like under all that lent up anger was a girl who was lonely and just wanted friends. His eyes go soft as well, and for a moment just a moment he saw the real her.
But it's over in a instant, because she notices how his eyes go soft. She can't let him see her cry, she can't let him so her be so weak.
Her face changes back to that rough Harmony, she walks up to him and punches his arm tightly.
"OW! WHAT THE HELL!"
"GET BACK TO WORK DUMB ASS! she yells.
"Why did you pinch me??!!"
"Because you are just standing around and we have to get this done, now get back to work!" She walks away from him going back to picking at those beans on the floor.
But Eren doesn't fail to look back at her one last time. Who was Harmony really?
......
"Next group step up" her commander says. Shes next up to use the MOD gear, she isnt nervous at all. She's observed many people getting in it and it didn't seem too hard.
But was she so wrong. Getting into was harder than she thought. She can't even put her leg up in the suit because it gets falling out from under her butt.
Eren looks over and sees her struggling and he can't help but feel...... guilty. But why?
Why should he feel guilty for someone who has been insulting him since he first got here. But even then he can't help but feel guilty at the fact that he has a chance to help her and is not trying to take it.
He runs up to her since no one was even trying to help her. He guesses that's her effect, ever since she got here she hasn't really mad a lot of her friends. But that's her fault though she rude to everyone who goes nears her.
Even so he still shouldn't leave her like that. "Hey. You're doing it wrong!" He blurts out.
He was no expert on this himself but he at least knew how to get in it.
She turns around and looks at him with a deadly stare. "What the hell do you want Yeager?!"
"Nothing..... it's just- here let me help!" he walks up to her and reaches to grab the cords pulling up the MOD gear but she instantly knocks his hand out of the way.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" She shouted.
"You're doing it wrong!" he yells out.
Her eyes go wide at what he just said. Is he trying to help her? Like hell she will get help from him.
"I don't need it" She says while still struggling to get inside of the gear.
She huffs at her stubbornness. "Yes you do, now listen to me!" He grabs her hand roughly and puts it on the cord she immediately pulls away.
She didn't know what to do or say. She hasn't had a human touch like that since..... well since that day.
"NO!"
She pushes him down to the ground and Eren yells out in pain.
"YOU THINK I NEED YOUR HELP ASSHAT?!" She screams for everyone to hear.
He stands up quickly, shocked that she even pushes him down so fast. "I was just trying to help?!" he yelled.
"I don't care! What gives you the right?!"
"It's not my fault you don't know how to work this thing!"
She stares at him for a long time. What can she even say to that? He's right she doesn't know how to do it.
But out of everyone why did Eren have to be the one to help her? He thinks he's so much better than her doesn't he?
"You think you're better than me?" She snaps.
"What-"
"I'll show you, who is really going to defeat the titans" She points her finger to her chest and walks away from the crowd that was being brought up next to them.
What the hell just happened? Eren thought to himself.
......
Getting out of that hot sun was honestly the highlight of her day today.
Sitting in the Tavern that didn't have those massive food stains on the walls was so peaceful. Not only because she got to eat here but because where she sat she could look outside the window and see the sun go down.
She sat by herself most of the time and she liked it that way. She wasn't much of a talker herself but all she needed was herself at this point and that's all that mattered to her.
But she can't help but look down at the people in the room and get..... jealous. She wouldn't admit it but she was mainly jealous of Eren. She was a very good observer and she saw the way Mikasa and Armin treated him.
It's like they would both die for him and she wishes she had someone like that in her life. Well at least she did..... at one point.
Shes not saying she wants someone to die for her because she honestly can't handle another person dying in her life. But she wants someone to care for her again.
She missed it. She missed when someone worried for her. She missed how her mother would always patch her back up when she ran a little to fast and fell and scrapped her knee. She missed when her father would read her a bed time story because she could not sleep cause of the night storms.
She looks down at all the people laughing together and drinking together. It reminds her of the time her family was celebrating her 7th birthday party.
How her mom made her, her favorite birthday cake flavor, and how her uncle ended up getting so drunk he couldn't even stand on his own two feet.
She smiled.
But that smile was soon washed away by the tears that came down her face.
She misses those times. She misses the times where she could just laugh with her family and be happy.
All of that was taken from her, it's gone now.
That's why she has to kill the Titans. That's why she has to destroy them all.
But the bright side of this is she doesn't have to worry anyone else dying on her. Now that she was alone she didn't have time to worry about other people.
That was a good thing.
Was it though?
.....
"AHHHH!" WHATS GOING ON?" An old man yelled out.
"SWEETIE GET BACK INSIDE!" A women screamed out to her lover she didn't have time to reach out to him because he was already being picked up by a mindless titan.
"HONEY!" She yelled out to him.
A little girl came running outside. "DADDY WAIT!" she cried tears pooling around her eyes.
"SWEETIE GET BACK INSIDE!"  another lady ran out to the young girl.
"MOM!"
She was more of an older women, she could barely even walk but once she saw her precious grand daughter out there it's like she could run a whole mile.
Everything goes black and the little girl is alone.
Shes alone in the dark space.
"Hello!" She calls out but no one answers.
She walks around holding on to her doll her father made for her.
"It's your fault!" She hears faint whispers in the air.
"It's your fault!" she turns around and no one is there.
"It's your fault, you're weak" multiple voices start to pile on top of one another and they eventually start to scream at the little girl.
She covers her ears but it's no use her head feels like it can explode. "Shut up!" she yells
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
It's no use.
"STOP!" she comes up from the deep sleep she was once in.
Another nightmare.
"Are you okay?" She hears a familiar voice call down to her. She looks up and sees her roommate at the top bunk.
Sasha was her name.
"Yes i'm fine" Harmony tells the girl.
"Are you sure, you were tossing and turning a lot last night" Sasha tells her.
"Yes, i'm fine like I said" Harmony spits getting angry at the constant nagging she was doing.
Sasha refrains from asking any more questions, she clearly knows when Harmony is in one of those moods.
She feels like a furnace, she's too hot to be in this little room so she leaves out the room to get some fresh air.
It's still dark outside? How long was she asleep for? It had to have only been a couple of minutes.
She looks up at the sky, she can't help but get lost at looking at all the stars in the sky. She wishes she could count every single one of them. There was always to many though.
She did that a lot with her mom. They would come out here and count all the stars till she slowly started to fall asleep. Well she would pretend to be asleep. She smiles at the memory.
But starts to cry once again. Why can't she stop crying every time she thinks of her mom?
Eren was only trying to get a pale of water until he saw Harmony close by the well. He stops, he doesn't know why though?
He usually would never stop what he was doing just becasue she was around, it's probably because he wants to see what she was doing.
She was looking at the sky, why was she out so late? Could she not sleep?
Wait why is he worried about what she is doing? It's not like he cares about her anything......
He gets interrupted by his thoughts when he hears a faint sob leave her chest. She's crying? But why?
Should he say something? No she won't like that.
He does the only thing he can think of and just walks up to the well and pretend he never saw her.
Yeah that's the perfect idea, he thinks.
She turns around when she hears someone coming up behind her she thinks it's Sasha again and she tries to mentally prepare herself for the questions she is going to get asked but when she looks over it's not her at all.
Instead it's him. Eren.
She doesn't hide the eye roll she does when she sees him.
"Hey to you to then" he sarcastically says.
"What are you doing out here?"
"Why is it any of your business" she interrupts him.
"It's not, i'm just asking" this is the first time that he didn't scream or insult her when she was being rude to him.
What's up with him?
"I'm just looking at the stars" she says quietly.
"Oh, you like to star gaze?"
"Yeah, is that a problem?"
"Oh..... umm.... no it's just, I like to look at the stars too" he says while putting the bucket down.
She turns his way shocked at his answer. "Wait! Really?" she gushed.
He smiles at her reaction.
That was actually really..... cute. He thought.
"Yeah, umm you see that star up there" he points.
"I called that one the big toe" he exclaimed a light flashing in his eyes.
"The big toe?" she smiles a little at the ridiculous nickname. "Why that name?"
"Well you see at the time me and Mikasa had been beating up these dudes who were picking on Armin, and one of them and fallen and broke his big toe." He tries to control his laughter.
"It was actually quite hilarious because it was the first star that had appeared in the night sky, we named it that because it was a reminder to us that we won't let anyone stand in our way" he looks up again and Harmony just sits and listens.
"It was basically a promise between all three of us .... we've kept it ever since" he says.
Their friendship is so powerful. Her heart tugs at the feeling, she feels....envy.
When he looks back at Harmony he can't help but feel like he has seen her from somewhere.
Maybe she wouldn't feel this way if only she had her family still here. If only that day didn't happen. If only she had did something to help them.
"It's your fault"
She turns around looking at Eren thinking he spoke. But it wasn't him.
"It's your fault" she hears once again.
Who's saying that?
"it's your fault"
She feels her head starting pound against her skull and she starts to twitch and Eren notices.
She scrunch's her eyes to try and numb the pain but it doesn't work. The pounding gets louder and louder and she eventually starts to moan and the pain.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asks.
"I'm fine!" She blurts out. "Ah!" she yells holding her head in her hands.
"it's your fault"
"Stop it!" She yells out.
"Harmony-" Eren tries to reach out to her but she smacks his hand away.
"I told you i'm fine!" she growled. She lands on her knees holding her head in her hands to try and get the pain away.
"It's your fault"
"SHUT UP!" she screams out.
Eren doesn't know what to do or say. He just stares out to her. She takes deep heavy breaths and he wants to reach out to her again but he is scared at getting yelled at again.
She tries to stand back up and turns and looks at Eren who has a confusing look on his face.
"What the hell are you looking at?!"
"Nothing i-i was just-"
"ITS NIT MY FAULT!" she screams at him. What is she saying?
Why does she feel like this? She feels like she just run another one of those 10 laps. Maybe she needs to take a nap. Yeah sleeping will help.
"Harmony-" he tries to reach his hand out to her but she punches him instead.
"Stay the hell away from me! I know what you're doing. You trying to find my weak points right? Well that's not gonna happen, because i'm not weak!" she hissed.
Eren hold his face in his hands. "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU WITCH?!" He screams. But she is already inside her room before she can insult him back.
Just when he thought she has changed she went right back to who she was.
Maybe there wasn't anything special about her? Maybe he is just imagining things. God he hates her.
He spits blood out of his mouth and grabs the bucket and gets water from the well, but he stops for a moment.
Maybe there isn't another Harmony hiding under all that hardness and roughness. Maybe that is who she is.
It can't be though. That day she seemed so different, what's wrong with her now? And why the hell was she screaming that way? Is she in pain?
Why do I care? He thinks.
.....
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kvgehiras · 3 years
Note
waaaa i'm sure whatever you have typed up is great!! if you ever decide to post it, i'll look forward to it ♡
cough cough SO UM,,, ik this is oddly specific but i hope you don't mind aha .. a character of your choice with someone who has some important exams coming up soon, maybe?? i've like ... procrastinated like all of my work and slept through the entire few weeks before,, so i'm currently on the brink of eternal sleep (my fault, wholly, really) i don't mind who, just pick your favourite/s!!
thank you in advance!! qwq
hello again anon!! THANK U AAAA i might post it after the current event ends bcs im busy grinding lately lol but i will post it soon so i hope u like it ehe ;; as for ur schedule PLS SLEEP !!!! i do know the feeling off not doing any of ur work nd just resting but sometimes it's ok anon! studying when ur not feeling like it will only feel like a chore nd u probably wont be able to retain any of it. so study when u want to, bcs while exams r important, so r u hehe <3 anyways here r the charas!! wrote a lil scenario for mika, leo, nd rei!! hope u like it <3
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
KAGEHIRA MIKA
• mika overworks himself alot, mainly bcs he just wants to prove, to himself and others, that he is worthy of being a part of valkyrie
• but he still likes being a lil spoon when yall r cuddling (o˘◡˘o)
• while he is a powerful artist when hes on stage, he just melts when hes in ur arms yk!!!!
• so he doesnt mind it when lately u seem to be slacking off a bit more than usual bcs he gets more cuddles from u !!!!! #mika1stwin
• but when u suddenly stop out of nowhere nd even refuse to come out of ur room at times bcs uve procrastinated ur work too much nd if u do not finish going through ur material then ur doomed to fail nd oh lord-
• "(y/n)?"
• u look up at ur bf nd hes standing beside u- w his stuff in his hands.....?
• "ah ya see.....ya've been lookin' a lil stressed lately so i thought abt.....helpin' u like this! idk what is troublin' ya, but im here to always listen! :D"
• u break into a grin, one mika had missed so much, nd grab his cheeks to plant a kiss on his cheek
• nd still keeping ur hands where they are, u pull away to look at his bright red face
• "thank u mika... ill always be here for u too, ok?"
• nd he quickly nods, scared to meet ur eyes, esp bcs of the close proximity of ur faces rn
• what a lil baby
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
TSUKINAGA LEO
• leo is honestly the last person u want to see when ur trying to finish learning ur material,,,that too in a rush
• like!!!!! u love him u rlly do but this bitch will start doodling abt his inspiration nd all nd ur brain just cant focus yk
• that, nd also that if u dont give him Any attention At All he will literally wither away nd basically refuse to sleep nd WILL stare at u till u give him kissies (nd he alrdy doesnt sleep enough........ sigh)
• so when he wakes up in the middle of the night (the one night u managed to somehow get him to bed) nd doesnt see u in the room a part of him panics
• he quickly calls out for u nd when he hears u respond from the study room, he opens the door to see u slowly turn around from ur chair, tired, shoulders slumped over
• immediately rushing over, leo tightly wraps u in a hug, a hand running through ur hair
• "(Y/N)!!!!!!!!! WHERE WERE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THE ALIENS KIDNAPPED U!!!!?!!???!!!!!!! DONT LEAVE ME AGAINNNNNN 。・゚゚*(>д<)*゚゚・。!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "leo it's 2 am.......nd also i didn't leave u, u know? im right here!"
• the exhaustion was very evident in ur voice, so much so that leo pulled away only to squint his eyes at u nd go "r u not ok? u sound tired ...... gasp r u DYING????????? NOOOOO U CANT DIE UR MY INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!"
• "leo thats v sweet nd while yes i Am dying im not leaving u it's ok"
• leo smiles, which turns into a grin, nd then he suddenly gasps again nd oh lord what idea is it this time
• "(y/n)!!!!! how abt i sleep here????????"
• ".....huh?"
• "YEA!!!!!! didn't u leave that room so u wouldn't disturb me?????? but im lonely so......ill just sleep on ur lap then, ok? ok! good nightttt!!!!!!!!"
• nd then he places his head on ur lap, the other half on his body relying on the chair he was previously sitting on for support
• while he isnt wrong abt the disturbance part.....he does look content here.......nd he does feel lonely so ......
• mayb u just gotta learn today what u can wing everything at this point...... it's gonna be ok . probably....?
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
SAKUMA REI
• unlike the other two, rei wouldn't even have to guess that ur not doing ok, he would just Know
• nd what does he do to help? flirt w u nd get u to let him teach u obv!
• he Knows it's not rlly teaching, nd so do u, but what can u do when he looks at u w those puppy eyes of his, nd says that he'll do anything nd everything in his power to always help u
• so when he does take in whatever u have to study he..... he realises he's Also bad at this
• good job rei rlly helps out a ton!
• anyways to make up for it, nd also stick w his promise to help u, he tells u to go through the material, nd explain it to him! he heard somewhere that it works bcs it forces u to rlly understand the concept instead of memorising it nd u think it should work
• but oh god how is it supposed to work when rei keeps looking at u w stars in his eyes, nd his hand suddenly grabs urs nd he circles his thumb on the back of ur hand nd IS HE FLIRTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A STUDY SESSION
• rei playfully quirks an eyebrow when he sees u get flustered nd just . lay ur head on the table w sigh nd just whine
• "REIIIIIIIII I HAVE TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• he chuckles bcs he does realise what hes doing to u nd honestly he loves ur reactions so he keeps doing it
• "fufufu.....sorry love, i'll be quiet now. go on, do ur thing." (liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur too flirty for a study session!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
• tip : never keep him in the same room as u when u have work to do . keeps flirting . too much distraction .
• ratings : 200/10 . the additional 200 points is bcs hes too cute to say no....... god he rlly has u wrapped around his finger huh
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angelthebedsheet · 4 years
Text
hi! can i request a hxh headcannon with kurapika maybe like what it's like being a relationship with him? sorry if you can't do this or i requested this the wrong way-
- anon
a/n: it’s alright anon! i’ll try my best to write about the loml and the bad bitch himself kurapika! love hims i may have went CRAZY for this. also i write on my phone so sorry if this is so long!
lets get it!
Tumblr media
How yall started dating
okay so yall first met at the hunter exams elevator
the main four first walked in there and were surprised to see another person there
and gon being his friendly self started to chat it up with you
“hi im gon!!”
“hi gon. i’m y/n.”
kurapika there respectfully looking at you
like you’re attractive.
lookin at how those elevator lights shine on your beautiful melaninated skin
whew baby he went 😳 inside but greeted you
“im kurapika”
“well hello kurapika”
and that was the BEGINNING
timeskip up in this bitch rq
the arcs are pretty hazy to me so like.... lets say yall were feeling e/o during the york new city arc
yall both were trying to become bounty hunters and were alr pretty close to e/o
you suggested working with him and he liked that idea
yall alr fought really well tgt and he actually liked having you around him
so you both became neon’s bodyguards
yall were slowly becoming closer to each other each day yall worked together
like lingering touches, yearnful gazes
allat cute mushy shit
kurapika is one touch starved and closed off bitch so he’s struggling here
you on the other hand you KNOW you want kurapika like who wouldn’t want him???
he’s a whole package in that tuxedo 🥵🥵
n e ways
soon neon notices this shit and it goes downhill
this lil shit starts PURPOSELY locking yall in rooms together
like baby no we are supposed to protect you what are you doing???
“im not letting you out till you two kiss!!”
“i beg your pardon?” - kurapika
“neon huh???” - you
kurapika is internally like what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck i lwk wanna kiss em but.... feelings.
you can see the internal STRUGGLE thats going on in kura’s eyes
you just say fuck it and pray the gods and any other spiritual holy beings are on your side and kiss him
kurapika’s stomach said 🦋🦋🦋🦋 when you cupped his face
like your lips are SOFT
(no cuz like some of yall rlly be making y/n have crusty ass lips like um no baby i wear lip gloss and chapstick religiously you aint gon catch me w/ brittle ass lips)
and you cant tell me kurapika doesnt wear chapstick
and he’s like ✋🏽😳 hol up this kinda.... this kinda hits why didnt i do this earlier?
(bc you’re a gated ass bitch thats why honey)
my mans just has to kiss back
he kinda just gently holds your wrists and kisses back
now you’re deceased bc damn boy where you learned this???
no cap you kinda felt your knees buckle and he noticed that but yall not gon talk about that
and you two reluctantly pull away bc hello yall still on the job and literally are bodyguards
“the door wasnt even locked.”
“you cheeky lil shi—
cue you chasing neon while she runs away giggling
kurapika can only gently touch his lips and smile with a red face
In the Relationship
now yall are disgustingly cute in private
kurapika is definitely touch starved and he always needs to be touching you in some way
he always looks out for you too
he’ll definitely press tons of kisses to your face or the back of your neck
calls you a bunch of cheesy nicknames
darling, my love, my sun, sweetheart, beloved, honey, babylove (the stanely uris thats played by wyatt oleff makes me lose my sHIT)
my boy loves your hair so much
like the texture? the volume?
he’s all for it
he would probably ask canary about wash day bc she’s black herself
would 100% help you with wash day
want him to detangle your hair? hand him that rat toothed comb he’s on it
wash your hair? let him roll up his sleeves he’s on it
oil massages? pass them oil bottles baby he’s putting you to sleep
like you will be KNOCKED as he washes your hair or oils it bc he’s that skilled
i think he would struggle braiding your hair but after you show him?
this man is taking over and braiding your hair neater than you
like excuse me where did you learn this??
parting god.
them parts are crispy and straighter than a mf
literally doesn’t comb your hair like ya mama do w/ all that tugging and shit
he’ll just gently move your head along or softly apologize whenever he accidentally tugs on your hair and presses a kiss to your scalp
taking. baths. together.
my boy CRAVES that intimacy
no sexual shit
after a long day of work he just LOVES to take a nice bubble bath with you
either you leaning against his chest or you on the opposite end of the bath
he can always unwind around you and let go of that stoic facade he puts on
i would say he’s a lil goofy in private? like he’ll scoop up the bubbles and blow them in your face
if you want jokes you gotta give em
baby had to grow up quicker so he’s more mature for his age
i’d say if you want them giggles out? hold his waist and blow the back of his neck
the way he JERKS from that then starts laughing
heart eyes up in that bitch
his laugh is so 🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰
“darling!” “that was so FUCKING CUTE KURA WTFFF”
another way? blow kisses in his neck
he will giggle like a lil kid
god i love him
when you go to sleep he’s always big spoon
doesn’t matter if you’re taller than him
big. spoon. kurapika.
the only times you can hold him is when he has a breakdown and his scarlet eyes are activated
nightmares haunt him alot and he just needs to hear your heartbeat to know you’re still here
he needs to feel your warmth and you whispering that you’re here
other than those moments you better be fine with him holding you
i would say he doesn’t move alot in his sleep other than the small twitches
but for some reason his grip is strong as FUCK
like you aint getting out of his arms at ALL
if you gotta pee hold it
nah im kidding
just wake him up he’s not a deep sleeper but he isnt a light one either
if he were to wake up in the middle of the night he’d definitely fix your bonnet or durag if it fell off
morning kissies!
one way he loves waking up is kisses all over his face
especially kissing on his eyelids
it makes him wake up with a big ol smile
“morning beloved.”
WHEWWWWWW THE RASP
ahem anyways
“morning pikapika.”
he used to hate that nickname
now? baby LOVES it bc it’s just for him
the lohl giving him a nickname just for him makes butterflies in his stomach go crazy
he can practically feel the love oozing from your eyes
the way he wakes you up?
if he’s feeling a lil goofy or silly he’ll lay ontop of you and blow kisses into your neck
if he’s still tired he’ll cup your face and gently call your name
yall cook together
if you cant cook he will respectfully say take your goofy ass out of the kitchen
if you can? show him how to season your food correctly. rmb how he made that pig look pretty asf but merchi basically said it taste like shit?
not on your watch
he’ll take mental notes as you teach him the ways of goya and sazon
sometimes he’ll just gently take over
not bc he thinks you cant do it right but bc he likes to provide for others
you just gotta lightly slap his hands away like bby i got this its okay
and he’ll understand
kisses with him are very soft but passionate?
like he isnt gonna eat your lips but he will hold you close and make sure you know how much he loves you
he’ll definitely twirl your curls around his finger
you of course gave him your permission when you started dating
he will always have one arm around your waist and one hand behind your neck
doesnt matter if you’re taller
he will 100% get on his tiptoes and do it
or make you sit down
he doesnt CARE if he has to step on a stepladder he’ll do it
he said run me my kisses NEOW
i would definitely say he’s a passionate lover and would throw hands with ANYONE if they make any snarky comments about your skin
“my s/o’s skin is beautiful mind your business and take yourself somewhere else before i do it for you”
😳
🕶🤏🏾
sir.....
you would throw hands for him too
anyone says anything about him being a girl?
its over
there was a time where someone called him a girl who was confused and you went off and got into a fight
you won by a landside
kurapika was like 😟😦😳🥺
bc you really fought for his honor
but he had to pull you away before you damn near put this person in the hospital
“honey thank you but it was okay. it didnt bother me.”
“no but it bothered me! nobody can just talk about someone i love like that.”
he went 🥺🥺🥺
he definitely kissed the FUCK outta you when yall got home
yall hands were rated e for everyone!
a ride or die couple
yall are in love love
maybe he’s looking for a ring and kurta wedding earrings
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i found a post i think you wrote about snk and nazism and i wanted to hear more from you if thats okay? is it definite hes a fascist nazi supporter? i dont want to believe it but. and he still made eldians the victims right? so it shows no matter what or why the marleyans should not have done what they did. and anyone with promarley views are bad guys right?
i think i just dont want to believe it can be taken in the pronazi way because this story means alot to me and i dont know what to do. but i think a both sides are wrong thing doesnt work here because of how they showed it with nazi and holocaust imagery. showing suffering people as just as bad doesnt work. but i understand bad people can come from anywhere. at the same time we support eldians for being the holocaust victims right? im confused now. im sorry for the bother. please help?
No problem, It's always good to look at your favorite stories critically, if you have the energy! That said my point of view is just one of many.
I think it's pretty evident by some things yams has said that his viewpoint is a questionable at best. For example a tweet about how korea had it best under japanese imperial rule (spoiler: they didn't) and his statement of how admirable the ww1 admiral he based pixis on was (another spoiler: he wasn't). Also the combination of German ww1/ww2 military inspiration and the norse mythology inspo are hardly coincidential imo. So I simply don't trust that dude, which might taint my pov. I think he isn't necessarily a nazi supporter in an active sense of running around yelling "Sieg heil", but imo his work is tone deaf at best in quite some regards.
I think especially now, so late in the manga it shows that the story is about getting rid of oppressive hatred, which is a great message! But the way this is done is still pretty... oof. Yes, Marley is bad, but they are not the enemy in the way the story is built. They are a plot device. Eren or by extension Ymir are the enemies (in the sense of that those who are portrayed as the people we are supposed to be rooting for are fighting against him). And that Halucigenica thing, whatever is up with that lol So we're not fighting fascism, we're fight the one who wants to fight fire with fire but who's still from "our own" (in a very interesting sense as Eren was also introduced as the protagonist).
The enemy is basically their own heritage, therefore the problem is not Marley, they are just a symptom, a byproduct if you will. We don't have any prominent characters that have promarley views that could serve as bad guys (correct me if I'm wrong) except the warriors, who are also not the bad guys at this point because they joined forces with Mikasa and friends. Plus they are also Eldian, so actual Marlean people only get very little place in the story in general.
If Ymir lifts the curse of the titans the message we get is that the way to undo oppressive hatred is to denounce your heritage. It says it was actually the Eldian's fault that they were mass murdered and the way this won't happen is if they stop being Eldian alltogether. If the plot ends and ymir doesn't lift the curse we probably get a story of unity through a common enemy which is also horrible, cause that would mean the victims need to forgive their opressors, simply for peace's sake. But that's of course speculation, cause we don't yet know what the last chapter will bring. But in regards to the eldian/Marley conflict I kinda don't see a good way to resolve it (tho i might stand corrected)
Jewish people have pointed out how they feel that the connection of jewish coded characters with the titans is pretty antisemitic. On the other hand some have also said they don't think so. As a gentile I'm not one to weight in on that, but as a German, who's been sensitized to white supremacy dog whistles I definitely see where they are coming from in pointing out antisemitic undertones of the series (see my pinned post).
I think this doesn't have to be a reason to drop the series. I also follow it through, because it's a huge part of my live and i wanna know how it ends. It does have beautiful characters and dynamics. Some parts of the story telling are greatly done. And as I said this is simply my view on it.
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✘ : Any head canons you’d like to imply on you character but know they wouldn’t fit? | ✌ : Fondest role-play memory, between muses? | ❤ : What are some role-plays that you have done/are doing that you particularly enjoy and wish to share with your followers? | ☂ : Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way, and explain how.
✘ : Any head canons you’d like to imply on you character but know they wouldn’t fit?
Orion is supposed to have a slightly chubbier body type! I'm still trying to work this one in because im very stubborn. Putting my heels down and saying "i dont care if Guardians are supposed to be super active, sometimes u have weight that doesn't come off.". Also that Alphas has sensory issues but its in the same boat as "I am putting my heels in and as soon as I figure out how this is coming in!".
✌ : Fondest role-play memory, between muses?
The way Jax said "I might need something to jog my memory..." in their first thread to get Alpha to kiss him was very cute. but Zoryas "I am not scared of Emmett...but Shrike however," is also fond. ALSO WHEN LEO GAVE SHRIKE THE PEN.... and all of the stares at Hex's comments when Shrike and him first met. I can't decide :(
❤ : What are some role-plays that you have done/are doing that you particularly enjoy and wish to share with your followers?
Stig and Kit are really cute in their thread right now, surprisngly the first and only thread I've sobbed over was also really...nice? even if it hurt like hell. Alot of the threads Alpha and Jax get into are really cute, and even if they were sad, the one where they were getting worse and trying to cure the blight was cute.
☂ : Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way, and explain how.
CONSTANNCEEEEE you actually enabled me to write more AND u were my push to actually make this tumblr (i was holding the url for so long) AND as a third note, enabled me to keep adding my other ocs who i cared about. My first ever rp partner (she was a bitch looking back so she doesnt get a name) is actually where Shrike had his first traumatic developments that would lead to him becoming Shrike in the long run. Anddd all my proof readers when I was still writing short stories because I didnt know how to find rp partners, the criticism definitely helped in the end.
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mincedliveblog · 3 years
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Kingdom Ep2 
I was like “why flashback” but oohh its to establish Blackarachnia as a little liar. I see :3
Wait why did Thundercracker say to Dinobot that they caught one of his “Maximal pals” spying - how do any of the Decepticons know about Dinobot’s wavering loyalties? Did BW Megs just announce that to them upon introduction lol
Wow OP really asking the Preds to not rescue their teammate and look for the allspark first instead huh. Bold ask from someone who not only lost it in the first place but did so at the potential expense of their entire planet. Primal right to be pissed off with this guy.
The way Bumblebee has to make the appeal and only after the BW crew mentions they are the last five (six) of TWO HUNDRED GUYS... 
And then OP still only gives them a strike team. AND drops an annoying “have faith” line. Primal did you maybe wanna wail on this guy again. 
Pretty sure when Primal says “Thanks for the backup” its supposed to be read as sincere but I’m choosing to read it as annoyed at how OP was being condescending about the whole thing. The voice acting is bad enough that I can do what I want.
Okay as much as I’ve been smack talking the voice acting BW Meg’s little “yess” when yelling at Dinobot was not the worst I’ve heard. Also lol @ Dinobot being like “I’ve always been loyal to you” honey we SAW the flashback scene when you tried to talk Blackarachnia into helping you give the disk back. Do you not remember that. 
Dinobot: “I have to follow orders.” *zaps Airazor* Okay first off 1) Megatron at no point ordered you to do that. He was just zapping her for fun two minutes ago and 2) HES NOT EVEN THERE IN THE ROOM HE LEFT. NO ONE IS THERE DINOBOT. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO DO THAT. 
BW Megs making all these anime “Uwha” noises like bruh
Okay I SWEAR im not trying to be down on the Beast Wars stuff being any different from the original considering I lit the past two series up for just copying their tf homework assignments but having BW Megs be kind of a kissass at worst and just genuinely loyal to OG Megs at best is... an interesting choice. 
Wheeljack and Rhinox working together to power the Ark back and Wheeljack being small next to Rhinox uwu
“The planet’s wildly varying terrain has been proving hard to navigate for some of us” says Arcee, while in robot mode. Girl did you even try to you know. Transform. The maximals look to be running over 3ft hills at best. I bet Elita One wouldn’t have this problem.
 Speaking of, where is she I wonder... are they going to cut back to her at any point? Missing the smartest girl in the room.
The allspark just being this floating Navi looking thing... again I’m not going to look back at the wiki but uh. Pretty sure it didn’t used to be like that.
IT BECAME MANGUS’S HEAD OKAY. Then quicksand... then Megatron is in the Nemesis’s captain’s chair and wakes up and rips the Matrix off? Okay. What am I missing. Was that a Matrix dream?
Dinobot explaining their time travel plan and its like whoosh right over my head. Its not going to make sense I’m not even going to try and make it make sense. 
Airazor [referring to Predacons vs Maximals] “It doesnt have to be binary” we stan a gender non-conforming queen
Haha jokes but really she is in a pretty traditionally feminine role... gets kidnapped... strong empathy... using emotions to sway others... I don’t actually remember hardly any of her personality from beast wars other than how she dates Tigatron so maybe its a carryover... sorry girl. 
WHY DID RATTRAP TURN BACK INTO ROBOT MODE TO “HIDE” ON THE CEILING LAMP WHEN HE WAS PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF GOING BACK INTO THE LITTLE CREVICE HE WAS IN IN RAT MODE HELLO
“Starscream is a ghost” says Dinobot. Haha get it. Like G1, where he’s a ghost. Can’t believe it took this long. 
Also but where did Starscream get the cloaking he is using actually... feel like I missed that. 
Dinobot really choosing to team up with Starscream and Blackarachnia. Honey. Also unclear on how much Dinobot knows about the future and like timeline affects and whatnot... like I said I can tell the show isn’t going to get into it in a way that makes sense so I’m not gonna think too deeply about it.
Okay but the entire team just waiting outside while rattrap snuck in... and then getting captured... I gave OP shit but you know what I take some of it back. They didn’t need all those guys lol.
THE REAL ASTROTRAIN IS LIKE FOUR FEET BEHIND THE DISGUISED MIRAGE I don’t remember alot about Scorponok either but was he really that dumb? Sorry dude.
Rattrap’s button bit / the mention of the Predacon’s having the “high ground” / Arcee’s sigh as the Predacon’s came down the hill: slight chuckles for all different reasons.
Optimus busting all dramatic out of the brush to turn the tide of battle where did you even come from my dude.
ALRIGHT PRIMAL PLAYING 5D CHESS AND HAVING ORDERED AIRAZOR TO BE CAPTURED LMAO. The funniest is Prime just going “Hmmm” like you KNOW he’s thinking “fuck that was a good idea. devious. damn. wish i did that.”
Okay and now the matrix is back on Megatron’s chest... literally what was that scene where he threw it off huh? 
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Ok so guys i finally got part of it done(like three or four days later buuuut
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I drew two sets of the families for my anxceit au!
Please meet virgil's family the Ravenwoods!
And as curtesy some info about them
Daneil Ravenwood
Hes been raising Virgil and Andy on his own since virge was about 8 and a half and andy was 6 months old
Hes a english and literature professor at the local college(that logan's parents also work at)
Hes in his late 50s early 60s current time( where virgil is 21 and andy is 13)
Hes also a published and well established fiction writer, but he writes under an alias
Hes a super supportive dad and teacher, even if he doesnt understand it he'll 100% support the decisions his kids make (ex: "oh your wiccan now? Cool virgy! Im glad you found a religion that makes you happy, though...can you explain it to me again?" "Oh andy you want to be switched to the art program? No problem! I'll call your counsellors tomorrow ok?" "Oh boyfriend huh? Thats great buddy, when do i get to meet him??")
Hes got a deep hearty laugh that makes you smile
Dad jokes to virgils mortification
Hes a skeptic but loves listening to and talking to virgil about his beliefs
had the philosophy of "the punishment should fit the crime, but you should be allowed to stumble and learn with it" raising the boys and wasnt too strict with them. Also never threatened punishments, only threatened playful embarrassment
The boys got their sass from somewhere, but he does remind them to mind their manners and watch their timing
Gentle giant as he is 6'3
Black hair peppered with grey and white and usually forgets tonshave his stubble
Passionate about his jobs, can get lost in his work
Andy Ravenwood
Virgil's baby brother, and he fucking adores his brother( even sometimes babbles about him to his friends at school and proudly talks about his "youtuber big brother"
This does not stop him from poking fun at virgil of course
Art boi!! Hes the top of his art classes!!
He is the one art kid that always has like three sketchbooks on him at all times
Loves the color purple
Look ok he knows he KNOWS his hair looks like his brothers it wasnt supposed to ok the original plan baCKFIRED AND HE COULDNT TURN BACK
Unlike virgil he doesnt cover his freckles
He has the same color eyes as their dad(grey-blue)
Andy loves animals! Especially raccoons!! Those are his favorite.( he happily took on the responsiblility of taking care of virgils cat when he moved out)
Hes a pretty cheerful kid if hes comfortable around you, but shy if he doesnt know you
Hes got an anxiety disorder but hes still living his best life
Virgil Ravenwood
Our main Cryptid goth( he dialed it down for the family photo)
Hes twenty one and lives on his own in an apartment complex close to downtown, which is a good 15 to 20 minutes from his childhood home so he visits regularly( like three times every other week)
Boi loves his family to bits, and has so SOOOO many good stories he’ll happily talk about 
Has both his own paranormal youtube channel and a joint youtube channel with his boyfriend Ethen where they explore and investigate haunted places(both well known and stumbled across)
He has the same eye color as their mother, blue violet, which stands out a little more than his dad’s or brother’s
He covers his freckles with foundation because hes insecure about them
Did a year of junior college before deciding school wasnt exactly for him anymore, but still goes to events for his best friend Logan
Works at a cafe downtown that stays open pretty late( they do dinner its almost a diner but not) part time, and the other half does youtube for a living
Has a cat that had to stay in his childhood home named Sally that Andy takes care of for him
Has been considering getting another cat for his apartment
Big firm believer in the unknown and the paranormal/supernatural
Hes wiccan and has an alter in his bedroom thats apart of his facecam background
He has a tarot deck but doesnt really do readings other than little ones for himself, as divination isnt his strong suit
Has a big crystal collection hes been adding to since high school
He can sing but doesnt have alot of confidence in his voice so he just doesnt
And also introducing~
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The picani-sanders family! Aka ethen's big ol family
From left to right
Patton Picani
Ethen's older brother(by two years)
Him and ethen are emile's foster kids, but he adopted him when they were like nine and seven.
Patton is 23 and happily works at the library downtown as a librarian and a reader to the kids
He loves music and musicals and all things disney (partially thanks to his boyfriend roman)
He and Ethen come off as complete opposites and they have a very playful relationship, always teasing each other 
He loves his family alot and loves babysitting his little brother Thomas whenever his schedule allows it, especially during times of year Emile and Remy get swamped with work
He loves to knit and sew and make things!!! He makes sweaters and jackets and dresses and customizes clothes!! He could make a living on it if he really wanted!! (but he just does it for friends and loved ones instead- Andy has a hoodie that Patton sew wool on the inside to keep him warm and Andy adores it)
Hes really outgoing and friendly and seems to make friends wherever he goes! 
He’s known Roman since they were kids and was crushing on him all through school until they got together senior year 
He loves to bake and cook and help his dad make dinner whenever hes at home
Hes a sappy romantic and loves cliches
He has a huge collection of stuffed animals that hes been slowly transferring to his and roman’s apartment since he moved out(theres ALOT)
Emile Picani
The dad!! Hes in his mid 50s 
He works as a singular and couples therapist  and can have a bit of a wacky schedule
Hes been raising Patton and Ethen since they were little and loves his kids so damn much
So goddamn supportive of what they do, sometimes to the point its embarrassing(for Ethen)
Hes engaged to Remy Sanders and once their married their just going to combine their last names
He loves cartoons and gardening! And has his own collection of stuffed animals and toys(which hes been sharing with Thomas) 
He loves making dad jokes and him and Patton make them all the time at Ethen
Hes a damn great cook and has been teaching his boys to cook for years now, and loves making big meals 
Not really a strict parent, more of a sit down and talk it out kinda parent
Is part of the PTA of Thomas’s school
Actually used to be a punk in school
Thomas Sanders-Picani
The youngest! Hes 8 years old!
Our boy loves to read and write! He writes tons and tons of stories!
Hes got a huge imagination and likes to daydream
Hes bubbly even though he isnt the most social he still has a good group of friends!
Our lil boi is an actor of course! He loves getting parts in the school plays and in class assignments.
Hes in his schools choir  and gets vocal lessons from Roman’s mama
 His room is filled with toys and books and notebooks and pencils, and even though he tries his best to keep it clean it gets messy every week.(cleaning it is his weekly chore)
He has two best friends named Joan and Talyn that hes been friends with now since kindergarden and theyve been nearly inseperable ever since, its not uncommon for one of both of them to be at each others house on any given weekend
Hes Remy’s kid but has started calling himself by Emile’s last name too since they moved in with the Picani’s
Doesnt have too many memories of his mother but the ones he does have are all happy and pleasant(thankfully)
Calls Emile baba and Remy dada to distinguish them better
Loves his older brothers especially when they play with him, He also loves watching the old videos of Ethen’s theater performances and sometimes pesters him to reenact scenes from them( his favorite is the middle school production of ‘Alice in Wonderland’)
Ethen Picani
Our other main boy, hes also twenty one
He lives with his best and childhood friend Remus Prince in two bedroom apartment across town near the college
Does youtube full time for a living
the “black sheep” of the family as he and Remus call him 
He majored in theater in his two years of college
Loves reptiles but doesnt have any because their apartment complex doesnt allow pets and he doesnt want to get him and remus kicked out since their apartment is close to Remus’s work
Has a car he loving refers to as his “hand me down junk heap” Because he got Patton’s first car when patton got a new one
He loves the old thing though 
Has a good relationship with his parents. He loves his dad Emile and he likes Remy well enough
Him and remy have a very casual, relaxed relationship.( Ex: “ Dad you need to stop letting sleepless bums into the house” “ He’ll stop doing that when he stops letting punk wannabes into his kitchen, now get over here kid.” ) 
Loves his boyfriend Virgil to death and likes to spoil him when he can(even though virgil tells him to save his money for rent)
Hes more of a open skeptic but he’ll happily debate things with Virgil, and enjoys making videos for their joint youtube channel and being proven otherwise
He also has his own solo youtube channel where he does abandon urban exploration( sometimes with Remus tagging along for the thrill)
Remus has been calling him by the nickname “Dee” since middle school when they played Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Remus called him Dee so often he made it stick as a nickname years and years later. He refuses to let it die and Ethen has just accepted his fate
Remy Sanders
Hes around Emile’s age( mid 50′s) and looks the tallest in the family at 6′3
He came into the family later, when the boys were about 20 and 18( when thomas was about 5 or so)
Hes pretty laid back but surprising good at being strict, so he balances out Emile’s parenting style
Hes a divorcee and got guardianship of Thomas, though hes on a friendly and civil relationship with thomas’s mother and takes him to visit her three times a month( theyre currently working out more visitations and possibly thomas staying with his mother a couple weeks every months but thats still in the works)
Hes an insomiac and (usually) works night shifts as a security guard for a security renting business so his working hours can be a little unpredicitble, but he almost always works at least two night shifts and graveyard shifts a week. Hes paid both a salary plus an additional commissions by employers so its well worth it
He spends as much time with his kid and the boys as he can regardless of his wonky sleep schedule
Hes a bit of a tough love kinda person, and hes snarky and mouthy and doesnt hesitate to speak his mind
Loves Emile soooo goddamn much he talks about him alot at work to his fellow security guards. Theyre the ones who helped him pick a ring when he proposed actually
Oh yeah the two are engaged did I mention that?
He fuels Emile’s plushie collecting, even if he knows he probably shouldnt( But oh well, it makes him smile and thats all he wants to see)
Looks punk now but he was the biggest straight laced prep in highschool that comparing him now to him in highschool gives you whiplash
Would fucking die for his family. No one messes with his fiance or his kids, he doesnt care if two of them are fully capable adults 
And its done!! Two of the four main families is finished!
And watch out because im also coloring these digitally(its just taking awhile :/) but those will be getting posted soon...I hope...Im trying
But here you go Virgil’s and Ethen’s families in two cute family photos!
Let me just add im so fucking proud of The Picani-Sanders photo because it was a struggle to fit them all in the picture and get the heights right and the entire side of my arm was grey with pencil lead by the time I was done but it turned out great!
Up next is Roman and Remus’s family the Princes and Logan’s family the Daniels!! 
Art references are credited to @the-pastel-peach​ @aimasup​ and @underdog-arts​ , especially @aimasup​ and @underdog-arts​ for getting 8 year old thomas to look like a kid because im not normally good at drawing little kids but after practicing with some of their art as my reference and inspiration he turned out really well!! 
I hope you guys enjoy!!
Taglist
@phantommoonpeople
@sweetsweetemo
@leesacrakon
@amazable01
@starbucks-remy
@jemthebookworm
@max-is-tired
@seriously-a-dragon
@sar-kasstic
@soupspam
@aimasup
@sugarglider9603
@underdog-arts
@strawberryjellystuff
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delicioustrashlove · 3 years
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To me : a honest open letter to my self. deep breath and open up and express 
What do you know . You went back there again and all though you held on super tight you couldn’t keep him could you? Of course not. You’ve lost your self every-time chasing him and you’ve never been able to catch him.
I thought I wouldn’t survive this one. I thought honestly I was not going to make something of my self . I whole heartedly was ready to give up . What ever happened happened and I could care less it’ll never be as bad as losing you. And I truthfully connived my self that my happiness only lied in your arms.
It took me so long to cry . Once I got back Colorado the reality of my new home, it was such a blur . For a while I pretended you died. To some how help my heart forget you. And thats all I wanted was to forget you. I deleted every picture and every single video .I blocked you on everything I could think of that youd have access to talking to me through . And for what . Just to black out once a week and tell you how much  I miss you and that I love you . I drank my self silly . I mean every event every party every outing I had to be there I had to be anywhere but in reality . Because reality meant no you. It meant what once was and will never be again,, reality meant excepting my feelings. And I wanted so badly to be tough and strong. I’ve gotten my heart shattered a million times by you , you’d think I would get easier . It didnt it was worse . I was so fully invested in you that life didnt exist with out you in it . I didnt know what that felt like anymore . I was so wrapped up In you so blind to reality . Loving you meant losing my self . I lost my self 4 times a year for 5 years trying to keep your heart. I broke my own heart letting you back in to my life so many times . I knew better . But the love I had for you was so much stronger . I couldn’t stay away . I also revolved my entire world around you , so when you where gone I felt so literally like the world was ending . I lost my whole life . I realize now thats not healthy . You have to always prioritize your health and well being before anyone . You have to love you before you love anyone. So wed break up id self destruct then Id put all my pieces back together the ones you broke. Id fix my self and I would get back on track I was moving on I was happy then just like that . One phone call at 10pm where you clearly to drunk to remember the conversation id be on a plane. Drop my job my home my family My friends … quite literally everything just to be with you . Just to love you. All I ever did in this world was so unconditionally love you. I thought I could hate you I did for a while . But I dont anymore . You where apart of my journey and it almost killed losing you but it was supposed to happen . It was part of the plan that god has for me. You coming int o my life brought so much love and bond that ill never feel with anyone else . I will never love someone the way I let my self love you. And when the lesson has finally been learned only then I can move forward to the next chapter. And your purpose in my life was love and lots of lessons and lots of growing . You think god doest hear your heart crying you think he gave up on you ya know , but he never did. In the end you’ll see there was such bigger picture. 5 years I spent going back to you and leaving you. Why did I always go back ? Because loved you but I clearly wasn’t seeing what god prepared for me. He wouldn’t believe his lessons or fallow his guidance so he kept bring ing me back to you so I could relearn and remember why I left and well you might be my soulmate your not meant to be in my story forever . Only a couple chapters . And once you’ve served your purpose to my life that god wants me to have experienced and learned I will be able to move forward. I first must let you go . And I finally am starting to. I got so unhealthy and so sad and so stuck and caused so many health problems to my body . So much that was almost to much to prepare. But I made a choice one day . I chose my self , and not you. I chose to love me and not love you anymore. I commented intently to my family and I mean really gave it my all. I learned that no matter what my parents wouldn’t never leave mom behind .and im going to everything in my power to be a good girl to them and build our love and our relationship . And I think that was gods purpose all along. You cant keep whats not for you . And I didnt understand that when we parted ways. I accept that now . And I know as I continue to stay on the right path god has such beauty waiting ahead for me… look how much I loved you and all I did for you imagine how much I will love the right man. I did alot. Every time we break up I have to fix my self . But I know now its all apart of the journey . All those trials with you just made me stronger it made me braver it made me wiser and it made men grateful for the good ones.  You breaking my heart was one of the best things to happen to me in the end. Because I never would stopped loving you I never would have left you behind. I would have always been your biggest fan and continued to love you till I ended up hating my self. You have the courage to set me free was the kindest thing you ever did for me. At the time I didnt get it but who I am now and what I ve accomplished for my self and how when you try really hard to be better and I mean really hard things kind of fall in to place. God smiles and says okay you deserve this you’ve learned you’ve grown . I manaaged to accomplish that goal of being close to my family . We are so close and we love trust and respect eachother so much . Our bond is very very strong . I managed to get my self too a doctor , I found out I complete sabotaged my health . And oh ya I have 14 allergies !!!!  And some of the effects of those allergies after time has caused a harmful build up to where I was 3 years away form being diabetic , my thyroid completely stopped working . Amplifying my anxiety and my depression . The last month. I was in az i would get sick a lot . Id eat something and get sick . The problem was I was so fuxking drunk all the time I didnt ever thing anything of it. I’ve destroyed my guy and its a blessing that wildly and randomly this doctor asked if she could test me . And we found a lot of issues and also got a lot of answers to a lot of my health issues. Im starting treatment for that . Ill be injecting my self every other day with medicine to help my body repair the damages I have done and it will also help fight allergic reaction and build immunity so this doesnt happen again . I also !!! Am taking my meds again . Different ones but im glad I chose to take this chance on them again . I figured if im going to  put my health and happiness first I dotn need to be drinking and If im not drinking a lot fo stuff is going to come to the surface and I don know how well ill be able to handle that reality. I also like I said thought. Was going to kill my self. I was so heartbroken so so so sad. I knew I needed help and I reached out and got. Now im happy and stable and I get out of bed and I have energy and im so present and to active. I work out everyday . I eat healthy and I lost some weight . My highest weigh t was 168 before our florida trip I got down to 147 , when worked for Linx I was 145 then after being with tj again my mental health went hay wire and I lost my self again . Completely lost. And when I got back to co I was 153 pounds …. I would shift from 145 to 147 … then I just stopped worrying about it and started doing something about it. I channeled all my sadness in to exercise . Im sad go work out im bored go work out im happy hey go work out get that good flow !!  Your angry you miss him what ever it was I worked out then it became all I could focus on cus I learned to love it so Much . I took on running again I put in the work . Things finally where falling into place . I was getting my self back and this time it was better then ever . Better then ever before . I unlocked this door and its been so beautiful. I one day weighed my self just to see assuming id be 145 I was 137 !!!! Wow !!! A week later I was 135 and today I am 133!!!!! Its so cool and feels so good to not be depressed not feel pretty in my clothes. And iliv Amy self. So much . I hope I start working at hooters soon and continue to have a great life. I finally got approved for unemployment and ally back pay and also and extra 13 weeks after mine runs out. Things are just happening . I wasn’t going to get any hadn’t outs . But I was at the bottom thats for sure and you know who was there ? Not tj not the guy you literally did everything for no not him . My mom and my step dad and my brother . They took me in . And it was hard and uncomfterable , but I just stopped going out stopped drinking as much . And did things for them no matter if they where mad at me or if it was awkward.i committed to being good fo them . And I knew it would take time . But little by little ive managed to accomplish all my goals . When I used to be the queen of quitting. I cant wait to see even more of what god has in store for me. And who I become . My skins cleaning up my body is losing weight I more active im healthy and im very in touch with my desires and my well being . I care and love and respect my self so so much. Its like a huge spiritual awakening. I love being alone . I dont feel like alone deserves me right now to be honest .Its gong to take a lot for me to love again but its okay . Not everyone deserves that form me anyway. I worked so hard to me this . To be who I am right now and I won’t let anyone take that away form me. You cause harm to my heart my well being just by !! If you disappoint me disrespect me or hurt me its done . You lost you dot meet my needs your not benefiting and there’s to many many and women on this planet . Ill never waist my time on the wrong one . Ever again. I respect my self to much to put someone over me! And I stand by that now and forever!!!  The new be is bette then ever and its gong to take a hell of a person to change my relationship status . And that cool im honestly not even interested . I dont care to date or hang out or hook up or even have sexual contact with anyone . Im so content with me myself and this beautiful transition im goin through I just want to focus on me and my family and my health. Because this is what its all about. This is what living is. this is life. This is beauty . This is whats important. I feel like im living . And im happy and im only going to get better and better. Thank you god for this life and thank you for giving me the strength to turn the page and start a new chapter on life. I fully trust you and the processs. And that brings me back to “god will never leave you behind” I needed to learn all those things that all may mistakes have taught me . And god has a way of constantly bringing things back Into your life if it has not yet served its purpose or taught you what you needed to learn.  I see that now. Positive mind set is very powerful . Loving your self is amazing and living through god is the best thing you can do . I will always you tj and I will always in some way wish there was a me and you forever .but I cant ever betray my self like that again. That door is officially closed.  See I thought my life was over when you said our relationship was over. But really it had just begun. Everything happened for a reason exactly how its meant to happen . Losing you meant I could finally find my self. It just lit up the path .  God bless <3 no angry  im happy and im I accept this and I forgive my self and you . Life is so Beautiful .
Some one very wise once said … -Life is not about how much you hurt its about how much your willing to suffer. ~VP
Im not willing to suffer any longer.  Except it feel it and then forgive and move forward.
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iamsonyeondone · 6 years
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heir!seventeen // jeon wonwoo
♥ fluffy
♥ 2.3k words
♥ summary: falling in love with your best friend was quite inevitable but confessing your feelings was a choice - but that’s not how your friends see it
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ok so being the only child and only heir to your father's company is absolute shit
you have to go to these obnoxious parties all the time and personally get to know the sponsors and partners of the company for future references
and sometimes its nice to see familiar faces
but 90% of the time its an old guy who looks like he might die any minute because their wives planned the murder
ANYWAYS, its rare to go to a party and see someone your age
so whenever you do, you always make the effort to get to know them
and one of them in particular, has been going to the same parties as you
and look who it is!! jeon wonwoo who now becomes your partner in crime whenever you guys attend the same party
and it also helps that his father is one of the closest partners to your father's company
so you guys see each other almost all the time
and it's been going on since you were old enough to grasp about financing and stuff
aka since you were 13
most of the time, you try to run away from your father's watchful eyes and go sneaking around with wonwoo if there's good snacks around
and sometimes he'll bring his best friend jun because he knows where all the good stuff is placed
no, not alcohol i don't allow underage drinking in my christian suburbs
but more like those extravagant desserts that chefs make for the restauraunts in the hotels
"wonwu, you already took 2 of those and i only took one you greedy butt >:(("
"buts its too good D:"
"fine then you'll have to ask the chef for another one since you ate the portion we were suppose to cut in half"
and it's a never-ending cycle of sneaking around and finding good places to hide from these people full of money
because all they ever talk about is growth, expansion and partnerships
and its much more interesting to listen to wonwoo's point of view
because he doesn't only talk about the positivities but also other things he have suspicioned about the other companies
like theres this one dude who only speaks to the higher ups and suck up to them
and even 13 year old wonwoo caught sight of him and told his dad about how fishy the guy was being
a year later and the man was arrested for illegal money lending
and hearing his stories are way more interesting than having to focus on just one aspect
because wonwoo CAN talk alot if its something he's interested in
so sometimes he makes references to games whenever he sees fit because its way more easier for a teenager to understand
and he's generally really nice and open-minded for a scrawny 13 year old
so when the both of you got enrolled into the same high school and knock into each other during orientation
the both of you were so delighted!!
so delighted to the point you almost screamed and embarrassed him in front of a huge crowd of a thousand people
and he doesnt look any different than the suits he wear but he looks more like his age with the uniform on
and so did you!!
from then on, the both of you introduced each other to one another's friends
and had lunch with each other's mutual friends
and it's way more comfortable than the stuffy chandelier-lit halls you've gotten used to
but the both of you agree that the melon bread sold at school tasted way more better than the desserts at the hotels
its way more simpler than having to disect some kind of sphere structure with a concocted cream in it or something
and sooner or later, your friends have come to realize how they feel left out when the both of you talk about the parties
and they don't mean it in a rude way!!
because seeing the both of you light up about a topic that you guys simultaneously had in your heads is like watching some kind of twin telepathy
and sometimes soonyoung likes to tease wonwoo that the two of you were so similar to the point that you guys might end up dating
and soonyoung says it when you're not around because that one time he did, the both of you didn't talk to each other for a whole week just to 'prove' to the others that you guys weren't alike at all
and papa scoups didn't like seeing wonu get more frustrated when they play games together at his house
and also mainly because they keep losing even if their opponents were terrible
so papa scoups did his job to give soonyoung an earful and make sure he doesnt bring it up around the both of you again
and tbh, ever since that day, you couldn't really see wonwoo in the same light again
you could still remember how he looked like when he was a quiet 13 year old
but he seemed more dashing and charming than he used to be
even in the school uniform, he looked as heart-throbbing as he did when he wears his black suit to the parties
and you just push those thoughts away because wonwoo?? the guy you nerd out with?? looks damn hot?? i dont know her
and wowee, the same goes for wonwoo
because he's finding your laugh to be more addicting even if you snort from time to times
and the way your eyes crinkle when you smile so wide and it just clenches his heart
mmm love me some best friends pining for one another
but you guys try to avoid the thoughts and continue your normal routine as if nothing happened
the both of you think you guys are doing Great™ at hiding your feelings but ooo boi
its always either one of you admiring each other subconciously
and always bringing up about the other person when they're not around
and your friends are all getting really frustrated because why aren't you guys feeding them #powercouple content??
so being the best friends that they were planned a little something
they planned that soonyoung would bring up the dating topic again but with a twist
it is for you guys to prove to your friends that the both of you didn't look good together
aka give it a damn try or neither one of you will know you airheads >:((
but of course with papa scoups permission because they wouldnt want to have to deal with a nagging old man in a teenager's body
so the plan took place during lunch and just when the both of you brought up about a past event, soonyoung brings up the topic once more
but jeonghan was quick to interrupt and add on the extra spicy details ;))
and the both of you are like "FinE but We'll sAy wE toLd You sO whEn iT doeSnt woRk oUt"
so you being competitive holds wonwoo'ss hand, startling him and turning him bright red as you turned your head towards jeonghan with fire in your eyes
"stop looking at me like that, your new boyfriend wonwoo will get jealous," jeonghan teased as wonwoo has his mouth gaping like a goldfish
and the thought of him riles him up a little but not to the point where he got really annoyed
so he simply brushed it off and confidently said that "they can do whatever they want, it's not like we're super entitled or whatever,"
and you're just like riGht you guys aren't 'actually' dating
but it wouldn't hurt if you saw it that way right?
from then on, wonwoo would try his best to surprise you with something before class, like melon bread or your favourite drink
and then he would just internally scream because he's always been doing that anyway
and walking you to your next class?? he's also done that ever since the first day of school
and he's trying to think of something else he could do to surprise you while he waited for your class to finish
but then a guy from your class walks over to your desk with a smirk grin, hand on your desk as he bends down to see you eye to eye
and you're like??? we've never spoken to each other since the term started?? what do you want from me??
and this guy just has the audacity to look you up and down like a piece of meat
and Let Me Tell You, when wonwoo saw how that guy didn't give you respect and the space that you desperately needed
he barged into the class and peeled the guy away from your desk
"what matters do you have with her?"
and the guy scoffs, sending him a side eye "who do you think you are? her boyfriend or something? the last time i heard, she was single and not dating her best friend,"
and taking advantage of his fake title, he grabs you bg the waist and brings you closer to him
"you must've heard that a long time ago. they're mine, so if you could kindly back off and mind your own damn business,"
AND EVERYONE IS OOING SO LOUDLY that the guy just staggers backwards and with that glare that wonwoo was shooting at the guy, he backs off and bows down with an apology
and he's so lucky that the class had already ended because he just whisks you away from the crowd
because he's blushing bright red and turning sweaty with all those eyes at him that the pits of his blazer might just soak through
oh boy your heart is beating so loudly that youre afraid he might hear
dont worry his heart beating pretty loudly too
and you're just so surprised by this confident wonwoo that you couldnt help but fall deeper in love with him
would it be like this if the both of you actually dated?? to be treated so lovingly by someone you loved with all your heart??
but everything soon grew awkward once again as he let go of your hand and clear his throat while you brushed through your hair
“im sorry-” the both of you simultaneously apologised, earning a confused look from wonwoo as you blushed furiously under his gaze
“what are you sorry for?” he inquired
“it’s just- you having to rescue me from that weird situation,,,”
you trailed off before wonwoo lets out a soft chuckle
“how many times have i saved you from a creepy jerk at a party? Im just doing my job as a best friend,”
and then it hit you
is that all he ever saw you as ?? a best friend ??
“wait what?”
and without you noticing, you had spilled the words and feelings you had kept for so long
“I- I’m sorry Wonwoo i dont know what got over me, just forget it. we better get to class,”
but a hand tugs you back away from wherever you were running to as your face collides into something, or someone
and a pair of arms prevents you from escaping as your surprised yelp was muffled by his chest
“Do you want this to be an actual relationship?”
and you’re speechless
because one minute he’s saying you’re his best friend and now he’s saying about making this real
“wonwoo- please I just- we’re friends and we wanted to prove we were just that-”
“then are you going to ignore my feelings? for the sake of proving to people that we don’t have something that’s obviously there?”
he spoke up, bringing you to face him as you held your breath from the short distance between the both of you
“i can already feel them saying i told you so,” you trailed off, your eyes trailing down to his lips and back to his glistening dark eyes
“at least I’m not single at the end of the day, unlike those losers,”
he chuckles, bringing your face closer to his until both your lips touch and melt at the contact
“i tOld yoU So,” a voice echoed through the hallway as you see Minghao and Jun running through the corridor, assuming that they were going to spread the good news to the rest
“looks like I have an actual date to the parties now”
and your relationship from then on was pretty much the same
except the feeling of sneaky arms around your waist when youre talking to another heir at a party and the dominant gaze you felt beside you
or the fact that wonwoo now leaves cheesy post-it notes on your favourite bread and drink when he has to rush to his own class
ps he makes sure he writes them before he goes to school because yknow the boys will never let him live if they saw those cute notes
because he’ll either write his favourite lines from books that reminded him of you or add gaming pick up lines that you may or may not understand
but you know he puts efforts in those so you always give him a peck on his forehead or his cheek to show your appreciation
because jeon wonwoo isnt the type to naturally show his affection
and because pda isnt really his thing
but dont worry because he showers you in kisses and cuddles you as much as you want when the both of you are alone 
aka whenever the both of you sneak out from parties or when the both of you meet up at each other’s houses
just saying but both your parents fully support this relationship because it ensures that this partnership continues for the next generation
like they are So totally not planning your wedding already they are obv yall are so cute wtf
a/n: i finallly got my laptop back but i don’t have as much motivation or inspiration to write so if you guys want to send in requests, feel free to do so ^^
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surprisebitch · 6 years
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i dont normally post alot of details and problems bout my personal life online but i needed to hear from you guys who’d be listening and give advice.. so i lost an external scholarship opportunity of 5 grand due to tragic mishaps.. first of being, i wasnt well-informed in time the scholarship existed until i got an email from the university im transferring to i was eligible but that was a week before the due date, and one of my references backing out the last minute which was the day of the due date (which i resent cause i literally volunteered for them and they just ugh whatever. i even was so humble and explained to them that the circumstances were beyond my control).. there have been tears and frustration (and my parents know of course.. and it was an ugly situation but i understand where they’re coming from. anyone would be frustrated and upset).. it also doesnt help they’re currently unemployed after making the big move from london uk to virtually nothing here in canada. so yeah, it’s all pilin up. at this point i think i’ve hit rock bottom cause all of my volunteering and high gpa was supposed to be for opportunities like these but i didnt do my research beforehand so i guess at the end of the day, there was still some negligence on my part. the financial aid office in my college didnt also have brochures linking the scholarship like i didnt know i had to have researched it.. but i guess its my fault. i emailed them and explained my situation and they said they cant offer reconsideration or extension since they want to keep it fair to all students. but yeah it sucks cause this is a one-time thing.. it’s a transfer scholarship and i will no longer be eligible after this one. so it just makes me even angrier. but yeah, i need advice on how to recover and if you experienced something similar of the sorts, i wanna know how you dealt with it and if something good happened after. cause like i dont wanna end my life, im not feeling suicidal.. but this is probably a point in my life where i’ve hit a really big pit and im just losing hope. im usually optimistic but i dont know.. right now im just trying to keep my head up but it’s hard. i dont even know what im working for at this point. all i can do is apply for bursaries and awards.. but still the fact i lost an opportunity to get a huge scholarship is something so bitter and hard to digest. im honestly tryin to keep it together sigh
so yeah, any words of advice or something would be appreciated... thanks  please dont reblog this post
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9/17/18
Fall is right around the corner and I couldn't be more excited! All the hay rides and spooky trails and haunted houses and trick-or-treaters! Hot chocolate and sheetz coffee! Falk is a time for all the warm vanilla candels to come out yall✌🏼Short fall days of 55 and cool nights for snuggling. Nice walks on leaves in the woods and holding hands and all the fall colors too! All the dark oranges and reds, itself all so pretty! Its all so pretty to see all the trees change and everyone being so festive and bundled up. Being together and watching horror movies all hours of the night!
Fall time also means fall attire, scarfs, hoodies, sweaters, boots, skinny jeans, and beanies! All of my favorite things to wear nowadays. I wanna get another pair of high black boots just gotta keep an eye out gonna check Gabes or Shoe show.
Hubs looks good in orange too;) Hubs looks good in any color but he looks good especially in fall colors. Oh shoot he can pull off any color really, I am super jealous! I can't wait to take all those cheesy couples fall pictures with the pumpkins in our cliche matching outfits! And I know hes gonna dread it but he's always such a good sport. I couldn't ask for a better Hubby he's the greatest. It makes me so happy how amazing he is and cooperative he always is with me and my shannagins. He knows how excited I am for all those things but most of all dressing up for Halloween!! He is very compliant to everything I need from him and it makes my heart warm! He always knows how to bring a smile to my face.
Im throwing a party of course, I enjoy planning parties and such, theres people who literally hate the stress of planning a party or wedding or anything but I love it! Like for real Hubs knows when we finally do get married, I already have everything planned down a tee! Its pretty crazy actually. I planned our 4th of july party and Thanksgiving last year was my doing with the tremendous help from his dad doing all the cooking! But I planned it all out and exicutded it. And all those holidays ended perfectly! We had a blast. I can plan baby showers too, I love all the Pintrest DIY things they have! Its so easy to do your own parties these days! Plus Im super creative and clever. And Hubs helps too.
Do you guys like parties? If so what kinda parties do you like to attend?
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Halloween 2017☝🏼😚
He is always such a good sport he dressed up at work as prince Eric from the little mermaid. Everyone at work thought he wasnt gonna do it but he was such a good Prince! He did all the pictures and everything. Everyone loved our costumes, which were home made btw. I know right?! We look damn good for spending virtually nothing. It was a overall pretty easy and simple look. Luckily his mom is very crafty and knows how to sew really good! So shout out to Hubby's mom! It was a good year. This year for my party I wanna be a dalmatian and he is going to be a sexy fire fighter.👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
I think we'll be able to pull it off just as well hopefully for just as cheap! We don't work on Halloween this year so I wanted to have a party, which I think my mom is more excited about it than me and Hubs are which hey, more power to her. Shes already bought so much for it, which trust me I very much appreciate cause I know she doesnt have to but she loves doing parties too. Maybe thats where I get it from.
I invited alot of people from Captain Toms they're like my family! I've known all those people for years. I've been there for like 3 years and some change. Were all like a huge family at least the OGs are. We get away with everything at that place and were something kinda special. Everyone who works there is great at least my friends are anyhow. There's Marley, who's my A1 since day 1. We went to East together she's actually my friends youbger sister who I happen to get along with too! And her bff Ashley! Aka Red. They're both great friends of mine! We hangout quite a bit and we always have a good time! We went to carowinds and Danielle's party and Ronda's party! And theyre our favorite Olive garden dates! 👇🏼 Marley may!
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We always have a good time and she always makes me smile! We always act like kids when we get together. Theres never a dull moment with my A1!
Togetherness!
The people at Captain toms are 90% of the reason I'm still there, im so comfortable there too and Im a favorite so I never get in trouble. Which I don't really go out of my way to get in trouble or anything. As long you do what youre suppose to working there the mangers pretty much leave you alone. Just do your job correctly and if she does say something just say yes and walk away it really is that simple. Whats the point of giving lip or having an attitude? I don't get it. Serving tables isn't that hard come on now. But we always do like secret Santa and all those fun things and Tina always gets a card for people at work on thier birthday's. Working there hasn't been so bad, best restuarant job I've had by far. That's why I still work there. And the money isn't so bad either right?;)
Fall time it finally starts getting busy. I cant wait for that fall time money. Chritmas is actually the best time of the year. People are always so generous. But it starts in the fall, people start going out everynight before going to see a scary movie. Fall brings people together I think...
I think that word means something and I think fall is the one of the best times for togetherness. Going out walking or sitting outside on your back porch just sitting talking with the ones you love. I love to go outside during fall time. Everything makes me feel so thankful and full and loved. Makes me think of November and Thanksgiving! Im beyond excited about those holidays! They're my favorite holidays besides Christmas and my birthday! Another year also spent with the love of my life too! I always enjoy holidays with my wonderful Hubs! He makes everyday special but especially my holidays.
Who do you guys like spending your holidays with?
What holidays are your favorites?
This year is a new year and were gonna carve pumpkins with funny desings and were gonna DIY Halloween party and its gonna be awesome. Until then friends...
Sincerly yours,
Joelle
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aaamarii-blog · 6 years
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10:24 pm
Okay. so i dont exactly know how to start off diary entries or journal openings or anything like that. when i try, it lowkey makes me feel awkward. like “dear diary, today i...” Yeah, no thanks. i feel like a cliche’ (idk how to do that cool e with my laptop lmao, just bare with me).
 But anyways, right now im eating a frozen uncrustible PB&J sandwich and honestly, i hate peanut butter. and technically im not supposed to even have it in my house because Quin’s allergic. ive been skipping out on my meals lately, mostly because im not hungry. but a part of me wants me to not eat, period. For a long period of my life ive started to gain weight, (i was kicked out of dance & a stable home for a while) mainly because i wasnt eating very healthy and i was never going out and getting the exercise i needed. My mother never cooked, nor did she ever have a meal with me. she ate where she worked and i always just ate out because there was never any food at home. 
Its embarrassing to talk about all of this.. maybe its because my mom wasnt being a mom and taking care of me like she shouldve, or maybe because i didnt take care of myself. I hate talking about it because i feel like Kailer would think im weird or gross or whatever, (i know he doesnt, but i overthink so much that sometimes i convince myself that its true..) he has a great love for me that i still have yet to discover. to him, im a ticking time bomb. some days, im quiet, a little goofy, and honestly, quite happy. And other days, (mostly during the night or weekends) i get sad. i flip out over the littlest reason. i fall apart and sometimes i think he doesnt know what to do with me, mostly because of the distance & time difference. he does know how to calm me down very quickly. he has a way of knowing what to say and when to say it. 
Ive never really had alot of great support. I had a very small group of friends, and alot of them really didnt even like me. i had friends who would listen to my struggles and i would do the same for them, or for anyone who needed me. id give relationship advice to the girls who didnt know what to say to their crush or loved one, ive stopped people from killing them-self, and i even walked through snow and rain just to physically hold a girl while she cried. id write paragraphs upon paragraphs on how great and beautiful a person is, but  if i ask for someones help, theyd say that theyre sorry but they dont know what to do, or sorry that thats happening to you, and ill be here if you need anything. thats it. and i hate to bitch and be ungrateful but i deserve more than that. i dont really have friends to hang with. and all im doing is existing and helping everyone else with their problems. i feel lonely alot. im isolated without the meaning to do so. (this is to be continued someday)
my mind is very confusing. i would go on but i think this is good for right now. i get carried away and i would not want to confuse you more than you probably are. and as i hate to start diary entries or journal openings, i also hate to end them, mostly because i dont know how. okay well fuck im anxious now bc i dont know how to end it help
ps: i totally lied in my intro about how ill barely talk about my feelings, like i will talk about my boy alot (just wait i have so much to say about him)  but i will talk about whats going on in my head too lollll
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