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#i really got to start combining all of my thoughts in the post itself instead of in the tags

jotun-design-party · 4 months

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that's it for jötun design party! i had so much fun seeing everyone's designs. the most difficult part was picking the winners, but i got there in the end! here are the winners, why i picked them, and the prizes they won!

as i will not be using this account anymore, i'll leave this as the pinned post and link to This Post as well as the #orientalism search for anyone who may stumble upon this blog in the future ❄️

Jötun Design Party Winners

First Place

Prize: full-body drawing of a character (original or otherwise) of their choice. I have your discord, and will contact you when I have the time to start and complete your drawing!

@therese-lokidottir

elegant and cohesive, it's clear that a lot of thought was put into the world and culture of jötunheim. every design is distinct and filled with personality while still maintaining a singular aesthetic. looking at these designs together, it's easy to imagine how the characters might interact with each other and their vibrant world.

Second Place

Prize: half-body drawing of a character (original or otherwise) of their choice. Please message this tumblr with your preferred method of communication (Discord, Instagram, or Tumblr itself) and I will contact you when I have the time to start and complete your drawing!

@ak800

looking at this design, it's easy to tell how much love, time, and effort was put into it. with elements that mirror loki's canon moteifs altered in ways that feel cozy, it's undeniable that there was a lot of thought put into the jötnar as a people. they mirror asgard in a way that directly contrasts the claims we see the aesir make of them, while still feeling like a separate and distinct culture with their personalized magic, unique horns, and clear social dynamics

Third Place

Prize: bust-shot drawing of a character (original or otherwise) of their choice. Please message this tumblr with your preferred method of communication (Discord, Instagram, or Tumblr itself) and I will contact you when I have the time to start and complete your drawing!

@corvusartchronicles

while deceptively simple, this design is thoughtful and paints a very different picture of jötunheim than we are used to seeing in canon. this design implies a combination of mythologies, which we are very used to in marvel, while giving love and thought to a vivid world of religion which is not often given the same respect as norse or greek mythology. protected from the weather in a way that would not make a temperature-sensitive frost giant overheat, loki's design is full of love for both fantasy, and the very real people who often inspire it 💞

it means the world to me that as many people participated as they did and i really hope that this contest helped make this fandom a more inclusive space in some way

picking the winners for this was SO DIFFICULT. so under the cut, i have also enthused about some of the submitted designs because i wanted to be able to share my thoughts on more of them. i'm so sorry that i wasn't able to get to everyone!!

treacheroustrickster

all of those shades of green? i am in love

red tichel!!! was this a callback to loki's red hair in mythology? I AM IN LOVE EITHER WAY!!!

i know it's based on a canon design and russian ashkenazi fashion but the hair jewelry just looks so in-place here. if it was cold enough outside that i needed to layer my clothes then i too would prefer to wear my metals in my hair where it wouldn't feel cold against my skin

newsted

this one specifically is just so ROYAL to me. far more than most of the entries! it has my heart

the riding pants >>>

the fingerless gloves >>>>

this design, with the minimal layers of clothing mixed with the warm cloak, makes me feel like it's designed to keep loki protected from the cold winds that comes with riding horses at high speeds in the winter

vvviktor

NY FRIEND I LOVE THE DETAILS

the embroidery on the sleeves

and the idea of loki in bronze instead of gold is one that i adore. i associate gold so heavily with asgard AND with loki that whenever i try to design jötun lokis, it's incredibly difficult to pick whether to use gold or not. bronze is the PERFECT solution to this

also shut up the feet literally are not bad

du-ed

HOOVES!!!!!!

okay cuteness aggression aside i think this is such a smart idea for the jötnar.

it helps with that balance of showing them in minimal clothing to get across their lack of sensitivity to the cold while also actually protecting them from the snow they are likely at least knee-deep in half the time

like yes. just yes

of COURSE they would look like this it just makes sense to me

imreaallyasorry

look at this. JUST LOOK AT IT. what more do i need to say

its perfect. i will be following you on my new account

this is the cutest thing i've seen in my entire life

also the staff/scepter is so cool, it's gorgeous, that's MY moon queen and magic theatre

unityrain24

this one is SO COOL, it's my absolute favorite out of the designs you submitted.

it looks so warm and sleek, and the idea that travel wear is so different from everyday wear makes me wonder just how harsh the conditions on the planet are.

i'm an absolute sucker for designs that are distinctly alien like this and it has my heart i love it so so much

#jotun loki #jötun loki #jotun design party #marvel #frost giant loki #jotun loki fanart #loki fanart #loki art #loki of jotunheim #jotun form #jotunn loki #marvel loki #loki fandom #marvel fanart

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kocherry · 1 year

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⟡ Truthful Adoration in False Illusions ⟡

Pierro x Isekai!Reader

(Part 1/3) (Part 2/3 is here now :>)

I am really nervous to post this fanfic since this is only for my self-indulgence but I decided to share it with everyone. It has been years since I've actually written a fanfic this long.

In all honesty Pierro really did a number on me ever since the Winter Night's Lazzo trailer. Genshin really needs to release more dilf characters huhu. Aaaand this fic is inspired by numerous works but especially two fanfics namely:

Petty Desire by @shumidehiro and Disjecta Membra by @jessamine-rose (Please check them out they're fantastic writers!)

This is only the first half of my Pierro x Isekai!Reader because it'll be a hassle to read 30k words if I combined it all in one post :> Also please keep in mind that this is pre-released characters.

TW: Vomitting, Mental Instability, Mentions of Suicide, Death, Dottore, A lot of Holding Hands

< 15k words under the cut for Prologue, Acts: I, II, III >

⟡ Prologue ⟡

‘I am so pathetic.’

That is what you thought as you were dying in the sea of flames that consumed your entire house.

Perhaps coming back to save those thesis papers isn’t worth it. In hindsight you were a troubled adult that struggled between having a job and getting your own degree. Truly your ambition may not be that big but all you ever wanted is to get a better paying job.

If you had maybe your family would've been prouder of you.

The tears you shed dried up from the fire, your vision slowly made its way to the walls of your room. Your lips weakly smiled at the sight of your favorite character from Genshin Impact smiling down at you. Their hand is directed to your direction as if wanting you to take them.

How you wish you could just do that… you didn’t want to die yet... if only your favorite could save your life. Perhaps being inside the game wouldn't be so bad if you were there.

•••••

Gasping for air, sitting upward, letting out a strangled cough, the sun shined directly into your eyes. Looking around and noticing that this wasn’t a burning bedroom anymore. But instead surrounded by a bright blue sea, legs dipped slightly into the soft waves of the water. Back laid on the grainy white sand, it was more comfortable than dying on your bedroom floor.

First things first... you look at your hands realizing that you weren’t dreaming.

‘How the fuck did I not get any burned scars?’

You place a hand on your cheek then placing them in front of you counting them one by one, “Holy shit I'm still alive...” Then by the spaces between your fingers you had realize that you are not alone.

Your entire body froze at the sight of a silver haired older man with his face covered in half by a black mask. He stood tall, his figure loomed over you and his broad figure blocked your view of the sea. His diamond shape eye stares at you with such intensity that it made the sand you lay in start to melt.

Well, you got your wish to be in Genshin Impact, but at what cost? Well for starters this person in front of you is definitely not Paimon. Wait scratch that thought... he is by far the scariest man you have ever seen in your life.

There is no mistaken it, this person is the Jester, the Director of the Fatui Harbingers.

The outfit he wore isn’t quite different from the trailer. He just didn’t have the Fatui cloak draped around him.

“You're—wait wait don't kill me I'm not a threat!” You yelled at him with a hoarse voice, it’s as if your body is exhausted. Though you were surprised that your elbows could prop itself up.

“Princess (Y/N) I advise that you remain calm as you had just woken up after falling from Starsnatch Cliff.”

The Jester's frightening deep voice startled you badly. Honestly at this point you thought that this was all just a dream. Yet reality starts to sink in when your mind started to comprehend what he just said.

Wait a minute…

What did he just call you?

And did he say you just fell from the god damned famous wishing spot?!

“Princess (Y/N), do you not remember who you are?”

Ignoring the Jester, ran pass by him to see your own reflection in the water.

The reflection of your image became clear, the first thing you saw is that your eyes had diamond shaped pupils. You didn't look like yourself anymore like back in the real world. If this is how you look and if Pierro called you a Princess then there is no mistake that you have been reincarnated into another body.

When you wished to be in the game... Being the Princess of Khaenri’ah isn't what you had wanted. You only wanted to live in the game after seeing the smile of a poster of your favorite Genshin Impact character.

However… seeing that you were in the first spot where the traveler meets her traveler buddy…

You definitely in Mondstadt.

But the one who greeted you isn't of cute floating little girl.

Now you just have more questions than answers. Turning to the Director of the Fatui Harbingers with a pursed lip, you asked: "How many years has it been since Khanri’ah’s downfall?" Your question is difficult to say but the older man seems to be indifferent by it.

"...a century."

‘Shit so I'm 400 years early?!’ You bit your lip to conceal your bewilderment. “I'm afraid... I could not recall anything Lord Jester.” You bat your lashes at him, you didn't pass in feigning innocence but your diamond shaped pupils were wide in fear.

Pierro’s eye narrowed down at you, he certainly didn't expect you to treat him like a stranger. Though he didn't voice out his worries just yet... after all he could forgive this minor inconvenience since you had been in a coma for a while.

“It is understandable that your memories are not intact.” For now, he had seemed to believe (more or less going with the flow) with your lies. “Since you had woken up from the fall, I advise we must go to the camp and examine if there are injuries that needs to be well taken care off.”

The Jester’s show of concern surprised you, his tone shifted into a much softer tone. Somehow you could not believe how utterly different he is from the Winter Night's Lazzo trailer. He is rather calm and gentle so far, although if looks could kill, you would be dead by now.

You gulp a bit, perhaps you ought to just listen to him. But what if the Princess has bad blood with the Fatui? The Jester certainly didn't tell the reason why she fell from the cliff.... what if the Fatui did it because you weren’t of use to them anymore? Would they dispose of you again? Would you be subjected as Dottore's lab rat?

“Alright I guess I can come it's not like I have any other choice, right?” You feel utterly helpless by asking that, it’s as if you had any other option at all.

Though you did remember that some of the Fatui do have compassion. However, that may not be true for most of the Harbingers. But there is no way you were going to die again.

Not on your favorite game.

You place a hand over your chest, eyes determined instead of feeling hopelessness. This was not the moment to show the Jester that you were a weak-minded fool. “I may forget who I was but if I couldn’t remember a century of my life. Since I'm still alive, perhaps I can repay your kindness Lord Jester.” ‘Yes, this is utterly a good idea, offering yourself for the Fatui how dumb can you be?!’ You let the second sentence be an afterthought.

The Jester paused for a while, he certainly didn’t expect that you would be so calm. Anyone would start to break down if they suddenly lost their memories and to find out shortly that your home country, Khaenri'ah, has fallen. Perhaps he had underestimated how you value your nation or that you already had come to peace that the nation would fall someday. After all, the Princess of Khaenri'ah is the one who witness how the sages and King Irmin refused to heed to his warnings.

Either way it didn't matter anymore for what you thought. He could tell that there is no lies when you told him that you couldn't remember the past century you had lived in his care.

“Lord Jester...?” You ask after realizing he went silent for a minute.

The Jester snapped out of deducing what was happening. He certainly thinks that this is too much of a troublesome situation he is in. “Princess, I would have to consult your condition to a medic. I will have the soldiers immediately prepare our voyage back to Snezhnaya. Meanwhile it is on your best interest to cooperate so that you can recuperate from your memory loss.” When he suggested this, all you could do is nod and follow after him when he held out his hand towards you.

Somehow a flash of red encased your vision and the burning wallpaper of your bedroom is in sight. Then a poster of your favorite Genshin Impact character didn't burn among the rest.

Was that really what happened?

Wait why is the Jester the one holding out his hands?

“Or do you need more time to rest in the city of Mondstadt?” He asks though his tone shifted into a softer one, yet gaze is still intense as ever.

But much to your relief his hand is still open for you to take and it would seem your presence is accepted... for now at least.

This time you are able to place your hand to the one holding it out to you. Taking note how warm his hands were as he held yours.

Oh by the way...

This is a story after I died in the real world then getting isekai'd into Genshin Impact but why the fuck is the Director of the Harbingers is the one who greeted me instead of Paimon?!

⟡ Act I: Masquerade ⟡

Masquerade! Paper faces on parade... Masquerade!

Hide your face, So the world will never find you! Masquerade!

Every face a different shade... Masquerade!

Look around - There's another mask behind you!

•••••

The lush green of trees, bushes, and plants.

The river stream flowing from the rocks above.

The Barbatos Statue of the Seven stood tall in the middle of Starfell lake.

And the fake blue sky had the sun giving light to Mondstadt’s environment made the scenery quite beautiful. Truly is a wonderful sight for any daily Genshin Impact player seeing it with their own eyes in real time. Being able to walk into the nation of Mondstadt, the beginning of the game, is truly a good part of this isekai fanfic.

However, the only downside is that the Director of the Fatui Harbingers is the one who is accompanying you. Perhaps it wasn't what you had wished for but besides him... nothing could ever ruin your day.

Maybe except for the fact that you've actually reincarnated into the body of a Princess of Khaenri’ah.

At least together with Pierro you were at least able to travel safely since he avoids monster camps and he even lend you his coat since the clothes when you woke up is quite a mess. If you were alone, you would’ve fought a hilichurl with a rock or a stick then die pathetically.

“Wait a second Lord Jester.” You halt in following after him, there is something on your mind for what he said earlier. “Are we really going back Snezhnaya immediately? I don't even remember living there or even meeting you at all.”

The Jester once again narrows his eye towards you. It's as if he's analyzing the way you would act. Whether it be talking, walking, or even looking in awe with your surroundings. You felt bare in his gaze and yet you didn’t find his constant staring hostile.

He then lets out a deep sigh after realizing that you had honest reactions of having a memory loss. He reluctantly let’s go of your hand, “Princess (Y/N) you were under my care after Khaenri’ah has fallen. Three months ago, you left Snezhnaya for a diplomatic mission in Sumeru. You never had reported back and we traced that you’ve been in Liyue, Inazuma, and finally...” He pauses for a while not wanting to overwhelm you with information.

“Found me in Mondstadt where I fell from Starsnatch Cliff?” You finished his sentence but wanted to ask how did you fall but didn't since the Jester wouldn’t probably disclose that information.

The Jester pursed his lips he knew that lying would be terribly bad for his image towards you especially at this stage of your so-called memory loss.

At this point, you didn't trust him enough to lead you to camp without so much doubting his words. “The Fatui does not take traitors very lightly, you may leave if you wish so. However, beware that there is no place in Teyvat that you could hide.” The harsh glare from his deep blue eyes made you shiver.

‘What the fuck did the owner of this body do?!’

You whisper yell at yourself after hearing what he had said. Out of all the people you could isekai into, it's someone who did the Fatui wrong. And so, without any choice you continue to follow Pierro to the camp.

This time you didn't feel the warmth of his hand on yours.

Although it is kind of weird that he even held your hand in the first place.

‘Maybe he's trying to gain my trust since he thinks can't remember anything?’ You ask yourself that, no answer came into mind of course. In all honesty you wanted to tell Pierro that you were not the Princess. That seems like a bad idea now since the Fatui might misinterpret it as the Princess trying to escape from her crimes against them. Or worst-case scenario they might give you up to Dottore for further examination.

You shudder at the thought.

•••••

Okay maybe you were just being paranoid because you were definitely not treated as a prisoner when the Jester brought you to a Fatui camp. Instead of being put into handcuffs, the soldiers just served you a warm cream stew soup and chicken skewers as a side dish. Then you were also the only one inside the tent slightly shivering but with the coat that the Jester lend to you earlier… at least you feel warm and covered.

Not that you were ungrateful or anything but he literally just called you a traitor and now you were getting away with it?

‘Oh shit, what if he’s just making sure that we would lay low and not attract any surveying knights?’

You stare at the Jester talking to the Fatui agents who were preparing a small carriage and the horses which concludes your disappointment not being able to camp outside.

“Princess, you haven’t finished your food, do you feel ill?” He caught you peeking at the slight opening of the tent, although he immediately ignored you after asking that question. “Get the Cicin Mage, she needs a fresh change of clothes.”

“Wait Lord Jester-”

The tent opened itself but it wasn’t Pierro anymore, it was an Electro Cicin Mage that greeted you as she zips up the entrance of the tent. “Greetings Princess (Y/N), since we are both women, Lord Harbinger permits me to assist you.” She is holding a clean and brand-new clothing, it’s not like what you had seen on Sneznhayan NPCs.

The clothes look like what noblewoman in Snezhnaya would wear. Its shade matches the shade of your favorite color and it would help in making your skin tone shine as well. Although there is a fluffy coat made from a wolf’s fur that would cover your skin.

“Thank you it looks beautiful Miss uh… what’s your name?” You accepted the clothes of course delighted it matches your aesthetic but you also want to know the Electro Cicin Mage’s name since she would be with you on the journey back to Snezhnaya.

“…” She didn’t react and you don’t know what expression she makes behind her mask.

“Oh, are you not allowed to tell?” You ask tilting your head slightly.

“Forgive me Princess (Y/N), I just find it hard to believe that you had lost your memories but you may call me Natalia.” The Electro Cicin Mage replied her nonchalant tone retained.

“I like your name, Natalia.” You gave her a sympathetic smile thinking that she may have known the Khaenri’ahn Princess. “I can change by myself, since I don’t feel really weak but uh thank you for the sentiments.”

Natalia just nodded as she turns around while you change into a much cleaner and fresher clothing. After a few minutes, you tapped her shoulder then unzipped the tent.

“Alright I’m done changing, so when are we leaving?”

The Jester is the only one outside as the other soldiers along with Natalia who hurriedly went to help were still arranging the carriage ride (probably into Mondstadt’s city). “You seem to be more complacent Princess (Y/N), earlier today you did not desire to be return in Snezhnaya.” He raises an eyebrow curious about your sudden desire to leave.

“Well not that I have any choice, plus… my life would also be in danger if I won’t be with the Fatui.” You say that fact first of course but seeing how his face starts to contort into a frown you immediately backed up your poor choice of words. “Oh Lord Jester, you may call me just (Y/N), princess is just an empty title now.”

Your request is simply more personal and despite the fact that may wear the Princess’ mask, you were still (Y/N) by heart. Being called a princess from a nation that has been obliterated is merely an insult to the surviving people of Khaenri’ah, and the Jester is of course one of them.

“Very well (Y/N) we shall sail ten days from now, you may extend your recuperation in my estate in Snezhnaya.” Yet somehow the Jester is indifferent from the request, he focuses more on your well-being. “You need not to call me formally by title, when it’s only just the two us, you may call me Pierro.”

Now that you are actually processing that you were inside the gacha game you had often played…

Did your ears betray you? You certainly are surprise by Pierro’s request as well.

Did your eyes betray you? You saw his lips turn into a soft and small smile but it disappeared quickly as it came.

Did your mind betray you? You just spent five hours in this world with him and even when he calls you a traitor, he does not treat you like one. You would think that he only keeps you because you’re probably a useful character and yet you did not feel used.

It feels the opposite, you were using him just to be comfortable in your isekai experience.

Perhaps you were not the only one parading in this masquerade of lies, the Jester still has not disclosed his relationship with the Princess. If he truly calls her a traitor then why do you receive warm food and getting assigned Natalia to be your personal body guard/helper?

“Shall we head to the City of Mondstadt?”

Maybe the answer would come by another time, you were too busy taking his gloved hand once again.

•••••

9 days later…

Teyvat is quite different in the perspective of being with the Fatui. Aside from the indifferent attitudes of the soldiers, you were at least compensated in being able to explore the City of Mondstadt for nine days now. Of course, Natalia is the one who is your bodyguard or personal assistant? Whatever she is, it’s still kind of annoying how she would always follow you everywhere even staring at you intensely while you go to the comfort room.

At this point you didn’t think much about your privacy, if you did it again… Pierro will beat your stubbornness with his logical expiation about how your health needs to be monitored… blah blah blah you stopped listening to him since you were distracted by the smell of Mondstadt’s local foods.

And speaking of the Jester, he hasn’t shown his face around for two days now and tomorrow is your last day in experiencing Mondstadt and you’ll probably never come back here again. Even though you were satisfied with the tour, you kind of wish you could glide everywhere and collect mushrooms on top of rooftops. Or maybe even blow dandelion on top of the Barbatos statue in front of the Favonius Cathedral.

“Lady (Y/N), you’re spacing out again do you need to rest?”

“Ah no worries, Natalia I was just wondering if I could do a summersault if I could glide from the hand of the Barbatos Statue.”

“That would be unfortunate Lady (Y/N), your neck may break if you fail.”

Natalia’s dark and dry humor is what keeps you sane sometimes, but despite the fact that she is growing into you then vice-versa she still won’t listen to your requests.

“Hey Natalia,” You call out her name softly

“Yes My Lady?” The maid immediately replied.

“Uhm it’s quite alright, you really can call me just (Y/N).” You have been tirelessly asking everyone to drop the lady title and especially to Natalia for the last six days.

“It is within the interest of the Jester that you would be addressed properly. After all you are still recuperating from your fall in Starsnatch Cliff and could not remember the past century that you had lived with him.” And of course, Natalia’s answer is the same as always.

Although you find it odd that the daughter of King Irmin would be with the Jester. From the lore you had read, he didn't gain the favor of the sages and royalty about his warnings.

Ah maybe you two were friends before in Khaenri’ah.

That’s literally the only explanation you could really come up with.

Disregarding those serious topics, at this point you have given up hope that Natalia would call you by your name instead. So, you grabbed her hand surprising her a bit since she has been given strict orders not to touch you. “Let’s go to a tavern, I want to talk to you like a friend I’m quite tired of not being able to communicate properly with anyone who see themselves beneath me.” You gave her a pout to emphasize that you did not enjoy having someone to treat you as their superior.

“I have nothing to share Lady (Y/N), all my life I only have been a Fatui soldier, so you might just be listening to a teacher instead of a friend.” She replied with a deep sigh knowing she would have to give in.

“If I am to learn, shouldn't I be hearing it from someone who lives in Snezhnaya? I do want to learn more about the country that I somehow forgot in remembering…. in your own perspective of course." You were looking at her with puppy eyes hoping she would be okay with your request.

“Very well ask away Lady (Y/N) but no alcoholic drinks.” Natalia replied which made you smile.

•••••

“...and that is why we would always follow the Tsaritsa. She does not need to be alone in the war against the Heavenly Principles.” The way Natalia spoke is as if she had lived through a rough life then having a place in the Fatui. Although she censored a lot of things related to the organization meaning that Pierro might have been the one to order her in withholding the information regarding the Fatui.

Again, you were not interested in them, you were always curious about the remaining three unreleased nations. Snezhnaya presented itself as available to learn so why bother hiding your curiosity about the nation that has a bigger role in the game.

It is most interesting that despite their differences and ailments towards one another they always have one thing that they agree. All soldiers in the game speak highly of their loyalty to the Tsaritsa and Natalia isn’t an exception.

“A most delightful insight Natalia!” ‘Although it got boring and I zoned out a bit but still…’ “I admire your passion to your archon.” Despite being satisfied with your curiosity about the Tsaritsa, you were distracted by more important details. Such as the relationship of the Khaenri’ahn Princess to the Director.

Every time you think about him, your stomach starts to sink in with heavy guilt, that’s what you had noticed for the last nine days. And earlier you did come up that maybe they were friends since he treats you kindly… now your curiosity got the better of you. With a gentle clap you brought Natalia’s attention to you.

“So now tell me more about the Jester.”

Natalia seemed surprised by the sudden shift of your mood and the soldiers that is nearby the tavern doors perked up with the mention of their boss.

Suddenly the air felt colt despite the tavern having a hearth that continuously producing heat.

You could tell you made a mistake by showing that you are aware of your situation as a prisoner. You held both of your hand up, “Ah I see he made sure that I would not run away by being friendly. Ha! I'm fully aware that the Jester is keeping me as a prisoner. Besides if I prove myself that I can cope in this foreign country I can be some use, right? In that way...” Your tone is soft and gentle, which made Natalia flinch, she isn't really good with dealing with such a venomous hiding in the softest expression.

“...I can slap Pierro in the face that he made a mistake in imprisoning me!”

Natalia takes everything she thought of you as a gentle soul with a motherly personality, you were like a wild hilichurl who always have an unpredictable behavior.

“U-Uhm L-Lady (Y/N). you should not talk about the Jester like that!” She stuttered not wanting to get into trouble as she stares at the space behind you that is now occupied by the said person.

“And why I shouldn't I? The Jester is not even here, besides he's busy with the meeting between him and other harbingers." You cross your arms but then saw the maid’s eyes that is staring at the space on your right. You suddenly became extremely nervous, "Oh shit... he's right behind me isn't he?”

“I was always behind you all this time Lady (Y/N).”

‘Oh.’

‘Ohh..’

‘Ohhh…’

‘I fucked up lol.’

Natalia excused herself while you turn around to face the Jester. He didn't seem amused nor does he look annoyed, he just stares at you blankly.

On the other hand, the Jester is actually surprised by your behavior (deep inside his blank stare), it honestly contradicts with how he viewed you as before. Although despite the fact that you are a Princess of Khaenri'ah, he already could tell that you already know your place. You were really going to play hard to get at his attempts of being patient towards you and in all honesty, he really didn’t have any ulterior motives… maybe he has but…

Now you just threatened to slap him, it amuses him.

“Such attitude is unbecoming of a royalty such as you Lady (Y/N).” Well despite his inner thoughts, his expression is somewhat annoyed by what he had heard.

“If you scold me, can you at least drop the formality? I’m definitely not a Lady or anything.” Honestly if they call you Lady (Y/N) again for the nth time, there is always the temptation to slap Pierro for real.

“For some reason the title isn’t really farfetched to the Princess title, I don't know who she is nor do I care to become her.” Although it is pretty convenient that you share the same name as the original Princess.

Indeed, you looked like the Princess of Khaenri'ah who wasn't even mentioned in game. However, there were features that you could see yourself as. If not for the diamond shape pupils you would look no different from the real world.

“Very well, (Y/N), I should have not dishonored the drop of the titles when we are together.”

Your ears perked up by the sound of the Jester's voice saying your name for the first time since the day you met him. “It would seem that I underestimated how much you had remembered. You are more perceptive than I thought. So, I am going to be honest with you…”

‘Wait is he going to really discuss this with a lot of Fatui soldiers and Natalia overhearing us?’

“There are traces that you recently used the Art of Khemia before you jumped from Starsnatch Cliff.”

⟡ Act II: Music of the Night ⟡

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation

Darkness stirs and wakes imagination

Silently the senses abandon their defenses

Helpless to resist the notes I write

For I compose the music of the night

•••••

You were taken aback from what Pierro had said, the Art of Khemia is now the lead reason to why you were isekai'd to this world.

‘Alchemy that is said to be the biggest factor in the fall of Khaenri’ah. So that means the princess might've been afraid of dying but the question is... did we actually just switch places?’

‘Wait why would she even be afraid if she willingly jumped…?’

‘Fuck her and fuck this situation holy shit…’

You shook your head now is not the time to be distracted. You need to know if you are allowed to investigate if you can go back to the real world. “Wait are you afraid of what I can do? Are you not also waging war against Celestia itself so why be cautious of me performing alchemy?” The questions were already answered because by the look in the Jester’s eye.

It would seem that he disapproves of what you plan to ask next.

“I had not lied to you that you jumped intentionally, you wanted to die, and it is merely your own consciousness that responded to your will to live that made you use alchemy as a last resort.” The Jester seems to fixed on the idea that you know the alchemy. “Art of Khemia is forbidden to use, I do not wish to awaken the Heavenly Principles, at least not yet...”

‘Of course, not yet... the Gnoses would only be collected 400 years from now. Great just great, I might be fucking stuck with him for a while!’ You shifted your thoughts to that part and not the fact that the Princess tried to kill herself.

Despite the desire to actually just tell Pierro the truth about yourself. It would seem that it’s a dangerous thing to do. He hates the Heavenly Principles and from what you had read in the Enkanomiya story quest they were also descenders from another world.

So, if the Jester were to find out that you too are a descender, perhaps your fate would be in the hands of the Doctor. 'Normally I'd say why not since Dottore is hot, but perhaps it's not really a good mindset to simp for anyone in this game.' You cloud that thought not wanting to become a perverted isekai character like the ones you would read in light novels.

“Then can I at least act like a citizen of Snezhnaya? You can assign guards around me if you wish so. I do not want to remain a prisoner by your orders.” You suggested, not wanting to be useless and a piece of decorative prisoner under his care.

The Jester looks at you with a raise eyebrow as he sits on the empty seat beside you. He honestly is still baffled that you were quite sure that he is treating you like a prisoner. His gloved hand reached out to yours placing them on top. His thumb gently caressing your forehand.

Your cheeks suddenly became red from the contact.

“(Y/N). If you feel that you are a prisoner, cease those senseless thoughts. I am merely looking out for your well-being.”

It actually surprises you that he would actually care for your mental health. Not that you could blame him if he would still have such disdain towards the royal family. Then again you wouldn’t complain that much, maybe the Princess is now definitely a close friend to the Jester.

Wait you really haven't asked him about that part, "Err... are we friends Lord Jester? Because you seem to care about me which is odd since you're you... you know?" Not wanting to be rude about his stoic and indifferent attitude, you didn't say anything to make this even more awkward than it already is.

“What?”

“Ah nevermind it's a weird question!”

“If that is how you want to play it, then I shall indulge such foolishness.” The Jester lets out a deeply annoyed sigh, “Do as you please and maybe you can be useful to the Fatui and Her Majesty.”

Some use huh? So, the Jester thinks nothing of you but a tool? Of course, what did you expect from the Fatui Harbinger. After all, knowing their lore so far, Pierro and Dottore were by far the scariest amongst them.

The way they manipulated Scaramouche's life, it’s as if they would disregard all life for the goal of burning the Old World.

You did not think any of this too deeply, once you find out how to switch with the real Princess again. You would be back into the real world and leave this world for good. Genshin Impact is much more enjoyable if you would be thrown to Mondstadt without actually reincarnating in the body of a person who has deep ties with the Fatui Harbinger Director.

‘Wait...’

‘What's Genshin Impact again?’

You suddenly panicked flinching your head sidewards making the Jester raise an eyebrow. ‘Why did I suddenly question my own reality?’ You look at the older man and strained a smile.

“Now I can't wait to get out of this nation and actually see Snezhnaya for real.”

Now if there is anything that the Jester could conclude for today's interaction is that you hide your real emotions through a bravado façade. From the reports of your maid, it would seem that you love to engage in nonsense conversations. You perk up the moment they serve hot chocolate and cookies when you take a break from reading. You who often poke the soldiers randomly while Natalia scolds your behavior.

You are quite a headache to the soldiers...

But the Jester honestly did question himself if you're having an identity crisis or if you did actually lose memories of the past century you spent with him. It troubled the former royal mage because the Princess of Khaenri'ah started to revert to your attitude before the Cataclysm. You were always a curious girl and talkative as well.

So why did you suddenly revert to the Princess he knew before the Cataclysm? Does your memory loss have anything to do with it? ...Or is it something else?

“However, I still cannot allow you to be without any soldier accompanying you just yet. You would need time to recuperate and it is unwise to rush in adjusting to your situation and maybe I shall allow you to pick up your claymore once again.” Again, the Jester talks as if he really doesn’t believe that you have already

‘Wait back the fuck up am I gonna be like a playable character once I can prove to him that I recovered?’

“If I can prove myself, will you finally disregard the soldiers but I’ll have Natalia if it would ease your mind!” You suddenly have a stupid plan but it’s worth a try.

“Pray tell how on Teyvat are you going to prove that you are recovered?” He raised an eyebrow already expected something ridiculous would come out of your mouth.

“I challenge you to a chess match!”

Consider him a prophet, he is right to assume that you are an idiot. You never beat him once before and most especially now that he assumes about your memory loss.

And of course, to prove your worth to Pierro, you challenged him for a match in chess. That is the only reason you could think of, he is an intelligent man after all. He wouldn't be the Director of the Fatui Harbingers if not for his tactical mind.

Although the look of surprise in his expression is something you would relish. Since he didn't expect that the Princess would actually be so bold in threatening him in front of his subordinates.

Perhaps he would believe that you are a descender from another world like how you would often whisper to yourself.

Yes, he can hear you by the way, you are not as discreet as you think.

“Well? Are you not going to accept? You know Lord Jester this is not a behavior I would expect from someone like you. Are you afraid that you might lose to me?” Your behavior can be quite irritating, you know how to pull your strings and by challenging him while the subordinates he borrowed from the Doctor and the Fair Lady that were stationed in Mondstadt are present… it meant he needed to accept.

Gossips are more bothersome than dealing with you.

Pierro didn't break eye contact as he steps forward utterly disregarding the close proximity between the two of you. He notices your cheeks reddening and that made his lips quirk upwards. "Is this how you would beg for my attention? Perhaps it is time that I teach you a lesson for being such a headache." He lifted your chin upwards with his glove fingers, he knew how to make you squirm.

And he succeeded.

You were far more endearing when you try to take control of the situation but in the end, you never were in control.

You were always at his mercy.

“Let us begin.”

Pierro breaks contact from holding your chin, he stands up leaving you alone in the couch. He went to the nearest soldier ordering them to prepare a room for the chess match. While you on the other hand stare at him dumbfoundedly wondering if he is mocking you or seducing you. Either way your face is incredibly red as you grumbled.

“Damn it, here I thought someone like Scaramouche is my type.”

You utter those words out loud and the Fatui solders who heard you started to question if themselves if you were insane. And Natalia’s response is wanting to have a mental breakdown.

•••••

Of course, in conclusion you had lost that chess match.

You did last at least two hours against him until he utterly cornered your white king piece on the corner of the chess board. The empty space had been your downfall, it was a blocked road to make sure the white king is being surrounded by the white pieces.

The match is lost due to the fact you moved your white pawns to save them which made way for his black queen and black knight piece to corner your king piece.

“There is no need to feel defeated Lady (Y/N), you lasted against Lord Harbinger for two hours to which he does recognize that you are recuperating faster than the medic had anticipated.” Natalia spoke up after she notices that you were not paying attention to the bard that is playing in the middle of the plaze, just underneath the statue of Barbatos.

“Aw Natalia that’s the first time I heard you being so nice to me.” You tease your companion, although she did have a point of not being upset. Despite losing the chess match Pierro still allowed you to roam Mondstadt for a few hours since he still has some final business to tend to.

“I am merely stating a fact Lady (Y/N).” She blankly replied, “And I have to ask if you had enjoyed enough of the view of the Favonius Church and the statue of the Anemo Archon.”

There were glares and stares directed at the two of you, yet their gaze would not linger because of the bard that was still performing.‘Oh, right I forgot the Fatui has a bad rep here I guess I underestimated their ability to piss off people in different nations at their century of existing.’ You let out an unbothered hum because technically you were not part of the Fatui, the Princess is. “We’ll go after the bard is finish performing his piece.” In all honesty you just wanted to listen to the ballad since you haven’t really heard it after gloating over your lost to the Jester.

The bard with twin braids dressed in all green and white is looking at you while he strums his lyre and sang a ballad that made your body turn cold.

“You take in anything the ego tells you

Whatever you believe, it will always be a lie to you

The truth is constantly hidden by deceptive mental concoctions

Clear your perceptions from your palette

Be free of egoic contamination to see clearly

Peace emerges from the calm of the mind~”

Your stomach churned at the lyrics of the song, it’s as if it insulted your very mind and soul. The bard’s words were meant to ease the people who were listening. And yet why didn’t it do the same to you? Why were you wallowing in guilt that for some unknown reasons is buried deep inside your consciousness?

Then familiar voices started playing inside your mind, there were two people that spoke, one is your own voice and the other…

Your vision suddenly shifted into a different scene.

“After all these years why have you begun to regret what we had done? Do not forget that you were the one who started this with me.”

“I wish I did forget all of this.”

“It’s time to end these foolish theatrics (Y/N), if you wallow in your delusional fantasies then you will truly succumb to madness.”

“Then so be it, █ █ █ █ █.”

A strangled gasp came out from your throat, bile rose up from your stomach and you fell on your knees with tears in the corners of your eyes. You clutch your chest and heaved, ‘What the fuck was that memory inside my head? And whose name was the one that the Princess had uttered?’ Your ears were ringing and the bile you held back from the back of your throat has finally relieved itself.

“Lady (Y/N)…? Lady (Y/N)…!”

Your vision started to blur but you could still make out the view; Natalia yelling, the Fatui soldiers hurrying to your side, and the bard who played that dreadful song started to walk towards your direction.

A warm comforting wind enveloped your entire body. The pain stops along with your consciousness as the world began to fade in black.

•••••

When you came to be the first thing you observed is the wooden ceiling, the smell of the ocean, and the slight sensation of rocking. Alarmed by the fact that you were most definitely in a ship, you sat up immediately which is a bad decision. Your head started to ache again and bile threatened to escape your mouth once more.

“Fuck…” You curse under your ragged breath. “Is this the consequences of switching bodies with the Princess?”

You murmured as you turn to your side and to see the window that gave you the view of the ocean, the fake sky turned dark projecting the illumination of the fake moon and stars to the water. Once again you stare at your reflection instead of the view, you were still (Y/N) with the same features as in the real world, the only difference is the diamond shape pupils in your eyes.

“(Y/N) you should lay down again.”

The Jester had been sitting at your side and it would seem he was there ever since you were brought into the ship. His hand hovered over your shoulders and yet he refuses to touch you afraid that you might break like glass.

‘Wait…’

‘Did he hear what I just said?’

“I already ordered the Cicin Mage to bring you warm water and soup.”

‘Maybe not since he didn’t question me, I probably just said that out loud inside my mind.’

Since you weren’t responding Pierro never talked again, you just lay back down and did what he told you since your head is still pounding. After a while Natalia came inside to place your warm soup and water just beside the table near your bed to where Pierro sat. Her gaze lingers at your form for a few seconds and excused herself right away to leave the two of you alone.

“Okay this is really awkward Pierro, I think I’m alright now but… I don’t know whether or not I want to immediately move to Snezhnaya.” You broke off the silence first because the atmosphere would become more intense if the two of you would continue to gloat in silence.

“You may scorn me for leaving Mondstadt but we need you to be checked by the finest doctor in Snezhnaya one that could help in your case.”

When the word ‘doctor’ is heard your vision began to change.

“I suppose you have my gratitude. This amount will suffice until my experiment is a success. You were the one who killed this minor god right?”

“A fine observation Doctor, is the blood on my claymore not enough proof?”

“Oh no no, I'm just curious since you do know the consequences of killing a god. The people are plagued with madness already so I thank you for saving me the trouble of finding new test subjects for the archon residue you had collected.”

“Do not test me Zandik. Get to the point.”

“Hahahahah! Hah. It's just amusing that you once called me a monster but are we really so different Princess (Y/N)?”

“No! Do not bring me to that crazy fucker!”

In all honesty you would have just normally tell him calmly but your chest began to constrict and your stomach churned at the thought of Dottore. The memories started to flood your head once again, your arms flail as you smelled the miasma dried blood that is poison to most humans. The memories of the Princess with the Doctor plagued your mind and clouded your logic to respond appropriately.

“I would never let Dottore check on your health, he isn’t the best person to ask that of him. What I meant is the group of doctors that is based in Snezhnaya’s capital.” Pierro replied calmly although his eye widens the second you had yelled at him. “We need to get you examined otherwise you might self-destruct again.”

Your heart skips a beat at the tone of his voice. It’s as if this body of yours is programmed to be flustered at everything he says or do.

“I’ve always wondered… isn’t it a great traitorous sin to betray the Fatui? So why bother yourself with me. Be honest Pierro… I just want to know.” You pleaded because the very fate of your existence in this game depends at the fate of the Princess of Khaenri’ah. You looked helpless in the Jester’s eyes, one that he is not used to seeing you in such state of distress. You were confused and afraid, yet despite the fact that he knew that you often mumble about this world being in a game, what you experienced so far is quite real.

With a sigh Pierro cups your cheek, his thumb gently brush your soft skin. “If you would stop lying to yourself, you would find it easy to believe why I would do this for you and pleaded for your mercy. Had it been up to Her Majesty, you won’t find forgiveness in the land of ice and snow.” His tone shifted from a soothing voice to a cold one. You learned that whatever the Princess had done must’ve pissed of the Tsaritsa and that Pierro would have to obey her had she not accepted his plea.

“Had you accepted our fate had been damned from the beginning we would not have been in this situation. Nevertheless, who am I to scrutinize you when I am partly to blame of what happened between us.” He added as he lets go of your cheek after realizing his touch had lingered to your warmth longer than you had realize.

Although you did not expect that honesty from him.

“Will you play another round with me?” You ask wanting to change the topic.

“Does this game have anything in return?” He asks and… was the Jester teasing you?

“Nothing at all, I merely wish for a companion. Just to get my mind off of things… if you are not too busy of course.” You didn’t want to further analyze the situation besides why would you face the consequences of the Princess if she’s not even you in the first place.

“Very well, I shall indulge your wishes.” He gives in to your request, “However, I am not foolish enough to know that you are diverting this topic (Y/N) when the time comes, I need you to accept what will happen.”

“If that is the case when that time comes when I am to be honest with you, will you listen to me first?” You wanted to clear up this whole misunderstanding about you being the Princess because Pierro had misplaced his sentiments to you instead of her.

“Like I said when you find it in your soul to accept, I will consider it.” He replied, well that was to be expected but you accepted his answer with a nod.

And just like that another game of chess had begun as Pierro brings the board to your bed with a much more relaxed expression. As he arranges the pieces you quietly observed the older man, his expression did not much how his eyes look so desolate as if he is longing for something. Perhaps his homeland? Or is it the real Princess he had miss? It was certainly an emotion you had not expect when the fans and some speculation deemed him as someone who is determined for a war that will end the Heavenly Principles.

“Let us begin.”

Despite your unfortunate experience in getting isekai’d in Genshin Impact, getting to know Pierro is the one you somehow enjoy. So, for now you let your mind wander to this the soft and deft music of the soft splash of the sea waves and the tap of the chess pieces as you both move them around. Although it is Pierro’s presence that you can feel and hear it closing around you.

For tonight you would open up your mind and let your fantasies unwind because in the dark night at the sea, you cannot fight your fate in this world. At least not yet. So, for now you let yourself get immerse in a game of chess and accept Pierro’s presence.

“Like I said before (Y/N), do not let your pawns be your downfall, they are called pawns for a reason so you should at least keep that in mind.”

Your thoughts stop as Pierro takes your white bishop.

“Fine fine… I just can’t help it you know?” You shrugged but despite being nonchalant about it you notive that Pierro means to break the towering strategy before letting his black knight and black rook to corner your white king. “I’m often known as a soft person back in my world and ugh I really need to admit to myself that its okay to use others to win.” Okay maybe you really ought to be careful of your choice in words but this game is making you lose concentrate on what you were saying since your mind is focused on how to turn the tables on him.

“A precise reminder to make sure you will improve. I do take pleasure in playing a game that would mentally challenge me.”

Pierro smirks as he notices that you had taken his black knight with your white queen, at the very least this game should be more interesting than the first.

Thus, the following nights would end with the two of you being entangled in each other and let the darkness of the night be the witness of your chess games until your arrival in Snezhnaya.

•••••

“Is she here Jester?”

Wait was that La Signora’s voice that you just hear outside your quarter in this ship?

The slight fierceness of the sea covered your movement as you slow crept up to the door as you try to overhear them. You gently place your ear near by the door and made sure your feet couldn't be seen underneath the small cracks.

“Yes.” Pierro answered shortly and with annoyed tone if you may add.

A chuckle could be heard from the woman, “I heard that she had gone mad, part of the rumors is because you had her locked up in your estate. Another said that she had defected the Fatui and got caught since Scaramouche had spotted her over in Inazuma. Then... the last speculation is that she is on a mission and that someone had altered her memories.” Every speculation is quite bizarre to be honest, you hadn’t expected that word of your incident would actually be a hot topic in the Fatui ranks.

“Baseless rumors are nothing more than to be their entertainment.” Thankfully it would seem that Pierro is definitely on your side in covering this incident, he did imply that this matter is between you, him, and the Tsaritsa.

“So what has become of your wife then?”

Wait what?

“Such information is not of your concern, now what of the Tsaritsa’s letter?” The topic quickly changed from the tone of his voice, he is not amused anymore.

“Ah we should discuss that without your Electro Cicin Mage here.” Finally, La Signora dropped the topic and two footsteps slowly made its way to the other side of the ship.

Your head started to pound at this new information and your heart started to beat faster out of nervousness. At least the questions you kept pestering Pierro had finally been cleared up via eavesdropping.

‘The dots finally connected…’

‘I’m his fucking wife what the hell?!’

“Lady (Y/N), you heard that didn’t you?” The door opened without you noticing it, Natalia had caught you eavesdropping on Pierro and La Signora’s conversation earlier.

With a defeated sigh you nod at Natalia’s question.

⟡ Act III - Phantom of the Opera ⟡

Sing once again with me

Our strange duet

My power over you

Grows stronger yet

And though you turn from me

To glance behind

The phantom of the, opera is there

Inside your mind

•••••

Zapolyarny Palace is colder than anticipated, the atmosphere is far from the feeling of comforting winters. The atmosphere is tense and the tension is thick. No one could cut it with a knife, a claymore maybe... a really hot claymore.

The cold gaze of the Tsaritsa is something you could feel. Your entire body felt like as if it incases in layer by layer of ice. Nothing could have saved you from her gaze, not even from Pierro.

The Harbingers were summoned, Pierro and Signora are there of course is there since they were the one who delivered you to the Tsaritsa. Pulcinella, Columbina, Scaramouche, and Dottore were all present. The other Harbingers... well that isn't really something you can think about.

“(Y/N),”

When the Tsaritsa mentioned your name, you feel so small and terrified from the calm anger of her tone. “You have deserted your position in the Fatui. The price for your sins would be equal with death. A founding member capable of defection... does death seem like a proper punishment for you?” She spoke with such gentleness yet her void of emotion is what made this encounter unnerving. This is what the Cryo Archon is like face to face she is not like the other archons you had encountered in the game.

“Your Majesty, the Tsaritsa, can I really be guilty of defecting the Fatui when there is no evidence of my sins?”

Natalia had advised not to look guilty or weak in front of the Tsaritsa and the rest of the Fatui Harbingers. You actually don't know why the Electro Cicin Mage would side with the likes of you but thankfully your question did break the tension that was directed towards you. All the Harbingers’ eyes were on you, some is expecting you to fail while the others are indifferent towards you.

Columbina is the only one who is smiling and humming to herself. Although despite her eyes being closed you could still feel her gaze is directed towards you. She's so relaxed as if she didn't care about what's happening right now.

“Hoh hoh. Despite having your memory lost, you seem to have a sharp tongue as ever, Lady (Y/N).” Pulcinella amusingly let out a chortle but his amused tone betrayed the hostility in his gaze.

“Lady (Y/N), your claims do not have enough proof. Still your mission is to have diplomacy to the Akademiya which you had not failed.” Dottore looked at a stack of report papers, “Not only that you've established connections with some officials in Liyue, Inazuma, and Mondstadt. However, you disappeared for five months somewhere in building those connections. Coincidentally, the Jester found you in Mondstadt with no memories.” His tone is amused yet you could feel it mocking what the Princess had done although he does seem impressed by how there zero evidence of her defection. Dottore would at least acknowledge the effort to cover up a big scandal within the Fatui.

“A convenient scenario yet despite the coincidence evidence of your defection has not been seen in the investigation. Quite the cover if I do say so myself.” Scaramouche didn’t hide his distaste towards you and you do wonder what the heck did the Princess do to receive hostility from these three Harbingers.

Well at least they did acknowledge that you were not a traitor but you do recall Pierro accusing you of one when the two of you first met. “So... uh there you go. I technically have not defected the Fatui if there is no evidence.” You shrug your shoulders instinctively feigning innocence… which is technically true in your case.

Although despite the fact that you were about to calm down, the entire throne room suddenly became extremely cold even for your immortal body, you could not endure this cold. Icicles formed around your shivering clothing and your skin started to turn blue. You however did not break eye contact to the throne that stood so far from where you had stood.

The Harbingers all looked at the Tsaritsa, and one by one they left the throne room leaving you all alone. Pierro is the only one who stayed, his gaze never left you. His expression looks hardened and he did not show any ounce of pity, which you are thankful or else you would have looked really guilty in front of Her Majesty.

“Well played Princess of Khaenri'ah.” The Tsaritsa rose and descended from her icy throne. She slowly stepped towards you in a menacing way if you may so add. Your eyes widen in panic as you look at Pierro for help but he remained standing still at the bottom of the throne letting the Tsaritsa pass.

“You have not betrayed me nor the Fatui.”

You gulp as she stood in front of you not even noticing that her arms were slowly moving up to your body. “But the one you had truly betrayed is yourself.” Her tone is more disappointed than angry with only the three of you left in the throne room.

‘I’m genuinely confused…’

‘Does that mean the Princess really did not defect?’

‘Base on what Pierro had said she tried to kill herself... Maybe...’

“Welcome back.” The Tsaritsa's tone became soft as she wrapped her arms around your body. The hug you had receive is cold but it felt so pure of love. It cut you off from the numerous questions that ran through your mind and without any reservation you returned her gesture.

“Forgive me Your Majesty, I really am not the Princess of the Khaenri'ah...” Your eyes widen a second, maybe that's not really the answer you should tell her. “...E-Er uhm only because I feel like I am not her due to my memory loss.”

The Tsaritsa's gaze remains to be soft as she pulls away from the hug. "(Y/N), stop this foolishness you had been gone long enough I do not want you to succumb to madness. "She cups your cheek while holding your hand rubbing your forearm softly with her thumb. "Do not betray yourself again, that is all I would ask." She lets go of her hold on you, her gaze became cold now as she slowly ascended the throne.

Pierro then stood at your side he nods at you as if he was telling you did well.

“You two are dismissed.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” You and Pierro then place a hand over your chest bowing slightly to the Tsaritsa.

On the way out of the throne room and back into the halls of Zapolyarny palace. Pierro poked your index finger slightly, you turn to him and he looks relieved that you hadn't really made the Tsaritsa angry. Pursing your lips slightly, the look he gave you is something your parents never gave to you.

The look of someone being proud.

Hugging him is out of the question instead you held out your pinky poking his hand back. In return his own pinky intertwined with yours as the two of you discreetly held each other.

At the first few seconds it felt nice but panic started to slowly sink in... ‘Is this really okay to go on even if I'm not really his wife?’

Then you look at his face, he had a really cute expression right now. His cheeks were slightly painted with a small blush. So, for now you don't think about the consequences and just let Pierro escort you to a carriage ride back to his estate with your pinkies intertwined.

•••••

“Did you ever regret it █ █ █ █ █?”

“Regret what?”

“What we became.”

It’s that voice and name again, the one that plagued you on Mondstadt up until the journey back to Snezhnaya. You purse your lips wondering who that mysterious person was.

“Lady (Y/N)? You're shaking from the cold.”

Thankfully Natalia’s voice cut you off from drowning in your own thoughts, ever since the bard playing a song about self-deception and the Tsaritsa claiming you to betraying yourself hit the nail and buried it deep inside your mind. You wonder why those words affected you so much when it was all for that Princess.

“Dear me it would seem that you had a hard time in your journey Lady (Y/N).” A small elder man with an elf like ears and moustache came in with servants who prepared a tea set that seems to be locally made and it looks really fresh. “Have some tea just to calm you down.”

The encounter with the Tsaritsa had passed by a month and Pierro suggested to have you work again, it was only simple work. Organizing the files in the mayor’s office while he would temporarily take over the heavy burden for you. Pulcinella wasn’t amused by the fact that you would be so casually taking over his work for 5 months during your disappearance.

To him it’s not about the power hierarchy but how serious were you in helping Her Majesty improve this nation that keep enduring hard these past few years.

“Pulcinella, you don’t have to be so friendly towards me just because I lost my memories, I can tell that you spite me because of what I have done.” Honestly the fandom doesn’t really justify the grandpa vibes from this specific harbinger, he is the total opposite of a kind and gentle grandfather that community had concluded.

“Hoh. Perceptive I see, I will give it to you Lady (Y/N). I really could not forgive that you are utterly weak minded. You once said that being a leader required a mind of steel and a stone heart to overlook the carnage, after all an empire could not be built without blood.” The elderly man stated his tone is rather venomous but you maintain your composure, despite the fact you absolutely intimidated. He may be short but between the two of you, you’re the one who felt small.

‘Why the fuck would the Princess say that? Now this little shi-old man isn’t giving me a break.’

With shaky gulp you inhale the tension and exhaled deeply to let out your nervousness, “Then if I maybe so bold Pulcinella, how about you would take over the position from me?” That was the very thing that Pierro had suggested from the start, give Pulcinella what he wants and he will open his mind to reconsider his thoughts about your competency.

In all honesty you absolutely do not want to involve yourself with the Fatui but for Pierro you really have to endure it since he’s your provider and caretaker. This is the least you can do to take a lot of workloads from his shoulders, and since the Princess isn’t here to decide for herself is she still wants to be the mayor then it’s up to you.

You smile at Pulcinella, sarcastically. “Oh, make no mistake I am not affected by what you had said, from the five months that the Princess had gone you have done well in managing Snezhnaya. Perhaps it is time that I would retire from such position and focus on more important matters… behind the scenes.” Although you are genuinely impressed that he shouldered the burden of being a mayor. And from the Winter Night’s Lazzo, a harbinger did call him mayor and it definitely wasn’t the Princess.

“And what are these matters?” Now the Rooster took the bait from your words.

“Rooster.” The deep baritone voice surprised you, only you the rest were already aware that he had entered the office. “Have you ever read the accounting-”

“Damn it Pierro!” You smack his arm.

The servants under Pulcinella were utterly horrified that you just slapped their superior’s boss meanwhile Natalia had already seen that coming. You were truly unaware that he had already came inside the mayor’s office when you asked the Rooster to take over as mayor. He is actually impressed that you had already spot the problem, although he did already spot it a few weeks ago but he does admit that he is far engrossed in searching for you.

And this problem is just perfect for you to prove yourself to the one who is most passionate about Snezhnaya’s improvement and who worships the Tsaritsa devotedly.

“-as I have said, the accounting is poorly managed, what can you do to recuperate from the billions of mora that we had lost these past decade?” He ignored your slap since it didn’t really hurt him, besides he does admit it amuses him that he can sneak up on you like this. Garnering such adorable expressions truly makes his day better.

Pierro does make up with him surprising you with presence by handing out the official documents that would prove that Snezhnaya is on the verge of bankruptcy.

“Please don’t surprise me like that…” You grumble as you grabbed the accounting records from Pierro, “Look this right here the numbers don’t add up, why should we fund Dottore’s laboratory anyway? As far as I am concerned his experiments have done nothing but take mora and results don’t even compensate for what we have lost.” You pointed at the numbers of mora, which would probably can pay your student loans and fund your family for at least a century.

Pulcinella does pay attention at least and now you have finally hooked him, least to say that being the mayor won’t be your problem anymore.

“The noble families in this country should be contacted, the taxes of the people have not seen the light of day in the north and eastern side of this country.” You continued while he takes the papers that would be under his care to solve.

“And with your built connections in Liyue Harbor and Ritou we could recuperate millions of sums.” Pulcinella finally connected the dots of your disappearance, although, you really don’t know what happened to the Princess predicting this situation. It was as if she truly is ready to pass on the mantle of the mayor to Pulcinella. Perhaps she was really ready to… you shook your head and gave Pulcinella the second main problem of the bankruptcy, “Then we cut off Dottore’s funding for a while, if he wants his research to be funded then we should expect more results rather than more hypotheses.”

“While I do this, Pulcinella can we both trust you in handling things here in Capital? And if those noble families hold back the taxes and refuse to give us the real documents…”

“Ah it would seem that I had made a mistake in being bitter towards you Lady (Y/N), you truly do know how to manage this country.”

“An honorable job such as being the mayor is something I would give up just so we couldn’t overlook Snezhnaya’s built up of corruption. The Fatui is indeed establishing its influence but can we really stay in power when Snezhnaya is going against itself?” Okay your mouth suddenly went on autopilot because what you have been saying so far… it’s as if you already know how to handle Snezhnaya’s economic problems.

“And what of the blood that will be spilled?”

Now the tension is back again after the Rooster asked an ominous question, Pierro gave him a warning look but of course he chose to ignore it.

“Why would there be a need for bloodshed?” You asked the elder man back unaware of the tension.

Your response made Pulcinella close his eyes, though he does seem disappointed but nonetheless he finally got what he wanted. “Hmm. I can overlook this naivety for once since your memories are lost, you may not have them yet but that doesn’t mean your compassion to those who doesn’t deserve it should stay.” He leaves the room to start working with the position you passed onto him, the servants and soldiers inside the room followed after him.

“Leave us.” Pierro ordered his subordinates and so they all left including Natalia.

Now that it’s only you and Pierro who were left, you turn to him a bit worried. “Did I say something wrong Pierro?” You look absolutely helpless compared earlier that held a really suave and dignified aura.

“What you had said, can it be really resolved without any people being killed?” His tone is soft as if crossing through a fragile bridge, he notices you starting to panic. When your hands start to shake and your knees buckle that is the cue that you would start to shut down. “Breathe… and think carefully (Y/N), is bloodshed truly the answer?”

The palm of his gloved hands were on your shoulders, he rubs them gently knowing how affected you can get when it comes to death. The way he rubs your shoulder blades with such tenderness and slowly unknotting the tension made you calm down.

“No… but it can be avoided…” You finally answered him.

“And how are you going to do that?” He urges you to go on.

“Talking… chatting…” You purse your lip as you had been enlightened. “Negotiation! Scare their fucking asses!”

Well your answer finally came through the acceptable answer that he also have thought of, “Remember not to use profanities when you do it, intimidation often comes from how well you would handle yourself. Though you are aware that words won’t work if you do truly want to save Snezhnaya from bankruptcy.” Talking to him feels so natural at this point, whether it be casual or work conversations you find comfort in hearing his voice. Although you were still quite reserve with him trying to get close to you, especially now that you found out that the Princess is his wife.

It is wrong to lead him on believing you were her.

“Of course, but I don’t know if I can do this alone… sheesh! We truly need a banker.” You replied jokingly, you were walking to the door not really wanting to be alone with him. “Well, I guess we should go now, right? You are still needed in-”

You mentally cursed for being too slow.

Pierro’s strong grip is wrapped around your wrist, he was so close to you that you could feel his chest on your head. The size difference between the two of you is quite evident when he stands so close, his hand trapping yours made it hard to leave the room. You didn’t dare look at his direction and close your eyes letting out a shaky sigh then faced him tilting your head, “Do you need something?”

He chose to ignore your question, “Since you cannot recall, we used to work together when the Harbingers haven’t formed yet. Shall we do this together once again?”

You nervously let out a chuckle, this wasn’t supposed to be your role to this world, you only helped Pierro as a thank you not as a permanent job. Even if you were starting to look at him in a different way, you were not the Princess of Khaenri’ah. You were not his wife.

This time instead of holding his hand, you let go of it but his grip became even tighter and looks of remorse is evident on your facial expression. “But uhm what if I am not really your wife? What if I’m not the Princess you once knew? What if… her soul is no longer in this body?” There you finally said it but it was more of a hypothetical question rather than being firm with the real thing.

“That she believes she’s in a different world reincarnated into her favorite game? Do you truly still believe in that false illusion?” The more you had tried to avoid his voice the more it starts to invade your mind.

“Isekai? Reincarnation? That is ridiculous and it definitely doesn’t seem to be well written base on its title.”

“It isn’t so bad and besides I think it’s funny that the title of this novel is ‘This is a story after I died in the real world then getting isekai'd into my favorite board game but why the fuck is the Demon Lord who greeted me instead of a cute fairy guide?!’ It’s creatively eye catching.”

“I would close my eyes.”

“Ugh come on don’t you find it funny?”

Now it was clear who the mysterious person was during your relapses, it belonged to Pierro.

Now you were utterly helpless from this confrontation, Pierro started to believe that you were faking your memory lost. It was all the same from everyone, including the Fatui subordinates, Signora’s gossip, and the Tsaritsa’s words that you truly had betrayed your own mind.

“What?! I’m not crazy Pierro! I am not the Princess! I’m just (Y/N)!” You cried loudly not wanting to loosen your grip on your own reality, “I’m a corporate worker who is underpaid while balancing my life in getting my master’s then-”

“Died by saving your thesis paper and then reincarnated into your favorite game. I know I have read the novel you had bought in Inazuma.” Pierro’s calm angry tone scared you now… and what’s even scarier is that your vision started to change and this time the visual is clear as day on who you were talking to.

“Don’t you have a diplomatic mission in Sumeru?”

“Ah… well I just want to see you one last time my dear husband…”

“Is that why you came to annoy me so late in the evening? You know you could have just asked, we’ve been married for decades now and you’re still shy as ever (Y/N).”

“Yeah… I know… I just really wanted to see you, █ █ █ █ █.”

“█ █ █ █ █! you’re hurting me…!”

When you yelled his real name, Pierro froze like deer in headlights, he realizes that fragments of your memories were slowly slipping through the alchemy marks that you had planted within your mind. His grip is still tight and you began thrashing around and yelling at him to let go. You sounded so confused and hurt that he is tempted to let you go but he already had enough of your lies and his patience is grounded to zero.

“We will return to my estate and continue this conversation there.” He declares since you were starting to get hysteric.

How could you not go hysteric? This man confused your mind and the reality you had believed in, you weren’t so sure about what’s real and not. It didn’t help when he started to have a vice grip on your wrist on which you are sure that it will bruises.

“I said let go!” You slapped his cheek unaware of the blue wisp on your palm hitting the right side of his face as his mask is thrown on the ground.

Red started to drip on the marbled white floor of the office, your eyes widen as you saw the cut on Pierro’s cheek. The blue wisp of your abilities is the one that created the wound, you look at your hand and saw wisp still lingering. Then you look at Pierro again his reaction made your heart dropped from what you had seen

An expression filled with so much grief, anger, and pain. Before the older man could say anything you ran out of the office afraid of the consequences of your actions.

And though you turned your back on him.

You knew he would always plague your mind from this day on.

•••••

You absolutely underestimated Zapolyarny Palace, when you ran away from the mayor’s office you were surrounded by dark hallways that had soldiers stationed in each door of every room. They seem to ignore you which is good because you clearly could not deal with anyone else especially Pierro. They all think that you had gone mad, you weren’t… but are you really sure about believing in your own reality?

When you ran away from the mayor’s office, your feet dragged you to a secluded garden nearby, the bushes were all painted in white snow and the flowers never grew in this area. You realize that your stamina still hasn’t been depleted and physically you were still okay but mentally? You were absolutely exhausted by the events that transpired as you squat down letting your knees sink down the soft and cold bite of snow.

“Fuck…” You curse under your breath, “Fuck fuck… they all think I’ve gone mad.”

“Hah. I suppose that makes two of us then.”

Dottore’s voice didn’t even startle your exhausted form. When you raise your head up this one is the same clone back in the Tsaritsa’s throne room and in your vision, the Omega Build, you could tell from the beak mask and clothing. Although beside him is Scaramouche who remained silent as he is disinterested in whatever was happening.

You look up to the two of them, “Why are you still not leaving?” Honestly you didn’t want to talk to anyone who doesn’t think you’re insane.

“As much as it is not my business to meddle, I am just curious to why you would continue to deny that you are living in a fake reality of your own making?” Dottore genuinely is curious but his lack of empathy somehow made it easy to talk to him.

“That’s the very thing I don’t understand Dottore, why do you all assume that I am the Princess and not some poor soul that had switched places with her?!” You were starting to get riled up again because even Pierro hadn’t believed in you even though back in the ship he said that he would listen and trust you… and yet he didn’t, you do understand his reaction but when he made you start to question your own memories that was when you begun to get upset.

“Switch souls…?”

Dottore began to laugh.

And you were on the verge of tears.

“Amazing! This is truly a product of your own research except you have not reached for the conclusion of your hypotheses because you had failed. To put you out of your misery Lady (Y/N), the answer has already been given by Her Majesty, the one you had truly betrayed is yourself.” Dottore had been lost to his own ramblings now and had bark insults at your pathetic crying form, “Well, I could not blame you for completely living in ignorant bliss, you always have a fragile soul despite being the fiercest Harbinger that we have. Unlike the Jester he accepted that he no longer had any ounce of humanity left in him and you on the other hand, continues to deny that you had long fallen from grace. And, proof of your denial is your own belief that you had truly switched places with a poor soul from another world.” Dottore dropped something on the snowy ground, it made a small crater but the white color of snow turned red.

“Here I wanted to give this back.”

For your dignity, you swallowed the scream that you want to let out and the object became clearer in your vision. “This is…” The item is the container of the archon residue that you had seen in your elapse with Dottore being there. “The minor god that I had killed and those people that I purposely turned my back to so that you may be able to use them.”

Tears finally streamed down to your face as the memory of the carnage the Princess of Khaenri’ah, who’s real identity is none other than you, the one who put fake memories in your mind to forget the sins of what you had done for the Fatui, for Her Majesty, for Pierro, and for your vengeance.

Dottore crosses his arms looking down at you with a smirk “And there you go, the first step towards the answer, acceptance.” In all honesty he is proud to have made you realize to the answer you had been looking for. Although he does not look forward if Pierro ever finds out about this incident.

“Enough already Dottore, you have taken too much time of your schedule to bother the Jester’s wife, shall we proceed to your laboratory?” Scaramouche asked a bit irritated that his precious time is being eaten by a woman he doesn’t even know and she started to cry because of Dottore.

“Ah yes of course but this is basically a service to Her Majesty and the Fatui,” Dottore is surprisingly honest with his answer but it did give him satisfaction he finally had snapped the hanging thread of your fake memories. “Scaramouche you may have just joined the faction but Lady (Y/N) is not just the Jester’s wife, she currently holds the title of the Second of the Fatui Harbingers.”

“I see, then if that is the case Lady (Y/N), the solution to your problem is something you already have passed through. Start from the beginning and it may just help you.” When Scaramouche had said that, you stopped crying and looked at him.

Although he and Dottore were already walking away from you.

“Is your advice a reference in your contribution in ending the Raiden Gokaden?” Dottore asked with a grin.

“And yet I did not get the results I wanted, the Electro Archon simply didn’t care, this isn’t about me Dottore… I am just giving Lady (Y/N) a better advice than yours because if she recovers from losing her mind then I don’t have to take orders from you.” Scaramouche scoffs at him clearly annoyed by his entire existence.

“Indeed, what an insight Scaramouche, would you like a lollipop for that?” Dottore teased.

“Eat shit.” Scaramouche then pointed his middle finger at the Doctor.

As soon as they were out from your view, you stood up from the snow, you let your tears dry on your cheeks as you held the bloodied container in your hand. Pursing your lip, you wonder what really had transpired for you to even think about erasing your own memories and replacing them with ones that you had once read in a novel from Inazuma.

Pursing your lips your grip of the bloodied container started to grow stronger and the glass started to crack as you angrily contemplated on what to do from now on. A hand is place over your own, smaller hands, one that belonged to the first friend you had made in your entire fake isekai journey. You turn to Natalia and smile, at the very least someone is at your comfort for today’s events.

“(Y/N)?” She didn’t use the lady title and her tone is softer than you had remembered. “Forgive me for not intervening, I thought by having Dottore speak to you it would benefit your mind, if you linger in living through this fake memory. Your entire brain would collapse and you would be nothing more than a hallow shell.” She rubs her thumbs over your forehand as she lets out a soft hum that somehow soothes your disturbed thoughts and feelings slightly.

“Natalia… Do you truly think that I have gone mad? I… I can’t even remember being the Princess of Khaenri’ah nor do I even can’t stop believing that I am an isekai character.” You grit your teeth in frustration.

She softly pats your hair, “I do not think you have gone mad, you were overwhelmed with emotions of vengeance and guilt, with a delicate heart as yours… only you have the answer to why you had replaced your memories.”

“Scaramouche said that I should go back to the beginning…” Of course, it is obvious that the Jester is the one you had first encountered. Every question and answer all lies anything related him. “Pierro… I need to go to him…” The beginning of your journey is Pierro and you were not an isekai’d character but truly the Princess of Khaenri’ah who finally remembered that you deliberately tried to kill yourself and since that won’t work you somehow re-wrote your memory.

No wonder Pierro was so upset earlier, now you feel like the asshole because you were the one who got scared then slapped him then ran away. You feel deserving of Dottore’s cathartic way of letting you accept the reality.

“Right answer but wrong action, now are you really sure you would sing a duet with him once again?” Natalia asked in a sing sang tone which is now completely different from his monotonous voice.

“If he would have me…” You do wonder if he can truly forgive you, the man had gone through enough and he has a mentally ill wife as his partner unfortunately. Although it is odd that Natalia knows a lot about the situation, you narrow your eyes at her. “Wait Natalia, how do you know so much about this situation I thought you were just an Electro Cicin Mage?”

Natalia then smiled for the first time, it was an unsettling smile but somehow it didn’t look intimidating. As the matter of fact her smile is somehow comforting as she pulls the hood of her uniform and removed her mask. The true identity of Natalia the Personal Assistant is another Fatui Harbinger…

“Columbina.”

“I truly had missed you dearest (Y/N).” The shorter female tackled you into a hug, she rubs her cheek onto your chest as she lets out a hearty giggle. “Forgive me for lying but your husband didn’t want me to reveal myself to you yet so I became your body guard~” Now it makes sense why Pierro is so confident in letting you roam Mondstadt with minimum soldiers.

Columbina then lets you go and she closes her eyes still smiling, “So now that you’re finally aware of your situation would you like me to return your memories?”

Your breath suddenly hitches in anticipation, “You could do that?” Natalia… Columbina… either way she is truly a dear friend of yours.

“With the help of Dottore’s child segment Zeta, you were able to withhold your memories in the archon residue container. I am able to slowly put your memories back so you won’t get hurt.”

Your eyes widen in surprise because you never thought that the Doctor actually gave you the memories back by making you cry of course. Now that you think about it, you didn’t feel the intent to murder him anymore but instead thank him. Oh, how ironic it is that he just showed the actual traits of a doctor towards you.

Turning to Columbina you gave her a determined look, you wipe your tears once more and let out a really heavy exhale. “Please return everything to me my dearest songbird.” When you had said the nickname that you would often call her, she then slowly turn the container around as small purple colored wisp started to seep through.

As the wisp surrounded your head, you close your eyes and readily accept its content. Under the false illusions of your lies, Pierro had never given up his adoration for you and your response to it would also be the same. You would finally stop giving up on yourself.

•••••

Now you were back from the start, to your real life as the Princess of Khaenri’ah, the memories of your childhood to your coming of age had all start to come through like a fast wind. It’s as if these memories were but a fraction of your long life, after all you had spent 100 years in the Fatui and 23 years as a royalty.

Now face to face with a younger Pierro who wore the suit of a royal mage. He brought your hand to his lips, “Truly you have a compassionate heart Princess (Y/N) thank you for always checking up on me on my lowest days.”

“Hush now Grumbles.” He grunted at your poor choice of nicknames but accepted your hug happily he buried his face on your hair inhaling the scent of pine and mint with a tad mix of strawberries and custard since you had made him some pastries, “We’ve been friends since my coming of age so I would always come by and check on you, okay?”

The grumpy mage couldn’t help but smile at that, what is love without friendship first. Had it not been to you, he surely would be wallowing in self-pity and anger by himself after being ridiculed endlessly by the sages ever since he had failed to stop them from doing something that tore away the veil of sin.

You always had hated those assholes from your father’s council anyway, even Rhinedottir is insufferable as she would not stop creating those monsters. Your friend had been your saving grace from this insufferable castle, at the very least the citizens of Khaenri’ah were not all obsessed with technology but more inclined in everyday lives such as baking, sewing, reading fictional literature, or even gardening.

Those kind of things is what you want to preserve in Khaenri’ah and the grumpy mage is the one you wish to do this with. “Hey there’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you...” You place both your hands on his chest while your cheeks start to heat up from the close proximity between the two of you.

“What is it Princess (Y/N)?” His eyes slowly soften up when you called him by his real name.

You purse your lips finding it hard to say those three words to him, yet you would not end this day without confessing your love for him “I-”

The door of his quarters slammed opened, a tall blonde man with blue eyes holding a longsword came, his expression is panicked and extremely troubled.

“I have been looking everywhere for you Princess-Mage an impeccable timing we need every warrior we can get to protect the people!” He barked out orders his voice is shaking from fear.

“Dainsleif! What is going on?” You ask as your claymore materializes on your hands.

“Twilight Sword who is attacking the people?” The mage asked as well as his catalyst also materializes as it hovers above his hand.

Dainsleif grit his teeth, his eyes were wide open as if he had seen the most horrifying sight of his life. The Twilight Sword is one of the strongest warriors in this kingdom and to him looking so afraid… you were beginning to know the reason for his fears.

“The gods… they have come to destroy Khaenri’ah.”

~ End of the First Part of Truthful Adoration in False Illusions

A/N:

I would like to apologize for scamming everyone who thought this was going to be an isekai reader but it's actually a mentally illed princess reader who could not deal with the fact she had done horrible stuffs for vengeance against Celestia.

In all honesty isekai was really the plot for this fanfic but I changed it due to the fact that isekai reader wouldn't really connect with Pierro emotionally unlike Princess of Khaenri'ah reader whom he already had known for five years before the Cataclysm.

If you guys want to read Act IV: All I Ask of You it's available on AO3 now but I'm holding it back since I haven't polished Act V, Interlude, and Epilogue yet.

I truly admire if you guys actually read this whole thing and enjoyed it, I feel like I'm such a messy writer since its been years since I posted a fanfic ;u;)

Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed the first part of this fanfic! <333

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headspace-hotel · 2 years

Note

Oh man, I have some THOUGHTS (as in, I agree with you and I have another side to contribute from a similar opinion) and a STORY-

I started an AI art project recently, mostly about playing with absurdist concepts, shitposts taken to their logical extreme, the weirdness that really only comes from asking for an absurd concept from an inhuman mathematical model that doesn't understand what makes it absurd and tries to take it as seriously as anything, using the freedom to rework from the ground up almost instantly as an expression of what ADHD is like, and all kinds of other stuff like that, with the aim of recreating or modifying them in physical media.

Yesterday I decided to do something pretty serious from step 1 with it and write down my thoughts about how it's used for...pretty shallow, anti-artistic, and even outright malicious ends, put it in flowery poetic language, and feed THAT to the AI as a prompt.

First attempt gave me some pieces I'm going to be working into physical pieces as planned today!

Second attempt got weird. I was working with a model that is notoriously bad at making human faces in any style. It gave me MULTIPLE good, coherent human faces in MULTIPLE styles. Some had some AI wonk, but were still significantly more lifelike than what you'd usually get if you asked it for a face, even a single known one. Some...looked human-drawn at first glance. The level of detail and coherence was actually terrifying. I even reverse image searched them to make sure it wasn't just recreating one specific thing by accident and that absolutely wasn't the case! One of them clearly took inspiration from the Mona Lisa (likely because that's the portrait that will show up the most if you ask around about the nature of art itself) but the face was 1) exaggerated in the kind of way that usually confuses this model and makes it create just a creepy swirling void instead and 2) more coherent than you usually get asking for a differently styled variant of the Mona Lisa!

It is haunting me. It almost feels like the computer itself saying something about not wanting to be used for some shallow and greedy bastardization of art - I know that's silly to presume as a literal interpretation, of course, but it sure did stir one hell of an emotion.

Like art is supposed to.

This is why I find it...absolutely unbearable how people use this technology just to make shallow pieces with a nice immediate visual impact for quick viewing and treat the uncanniness that appears when you look deeper as a non-element, because imo if you want to treat it as actual art, that weirdness - and what words reduce it unexpectedly - should be some of THE defining elements that set it apart from any other tool you could use!

And if I had the space to complete the project I would totally generate my OWN uncanny flowery cathedral, invite people to look at it until the weirdness sets in, and then unveil a physical model of it in all of its bizarre and unreal glory.

Yes absolutely

I have a sideblog that I post to occasionally, @ai-generated-xenobiology , that plays with the weirdness of the medium a lot. The images there are mainly generated using a combination of several keywords.

I thought, why not interpret uncanny AI generated landscapes as alien worlds, which WOULD be uncanny to us, and figure out how to optimize that?

I've also messed with inputting images to influence the final result and with editing results and using them as inputs again. Which is a lot more "human influence" than otherwise would be included.

See, I think this is thought provoking art because the uncanny nature of it is a feature, not a bug—it invites you to keep trying to figure out "What am I LOOKING at?" and I think the "otherness" is great. Cool inspiration.

I think the unreal flower cathedral would be great. Imagine an art piece that really messes with the perceptual boundary between "natural" and "man made" space. Impossible geometry but in a "natural" setting. Lots of possibilities.

#ai generated #unreality

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pttucker · 6 months

Text

Okay, so, I've been thinking about some of my more recent posts and have started to combine them with some of my older posts and think I've come up with another theory that I want to throw out into the wild while we've still got like 40% of the novel left to go.

Well, actually it's not really a new theory for me per se, but I think I've finally cemented it whereas in the past I've had vague suspicions. Which has resulted in another giant post.

tl;dr: there are three stories in the novel, with the novel itself being Dokja's story and I think by the end Dokja will realize that he's inside ORV itself in a sort of Neverending Story kind of way, the Fourth Wall is between him and our world (and maybe also him and TWSA), and that the true Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint belongs to us.

So, anyway, I recently made a post about Han Sooyoung being the author of TWSA and overall I think this current arc we're going through right now is another major allegory / foreshadow for how the characters relate to TWSA, just like the Peace Land arc. But thinking on it some more, I think this arc (and possibly also Peace Land) is also showing how they relate to ORV itself.

Like, I actually even specifically said that certain passages relate to the overall plot of ORV such as this one—

Regrettably, there was no guarantee of the work ending up as a success even if the author did an excellent job. – Time to start our attack, Yoo Joonghyuk. Because the ones to complete the story were the 'Characters', not the author, that's why.

—and I think by taking that just a tiny step further, in combination with other clues, ORV itself will end up being almost a Neverending Story type of deal. Not necessarily with Dokja trying to talk to us like Sebastian and the Childlike Empress, but literally just realizing that he's a character in a novel.

Which is something Dokja has technically already realized, and maybe even unconsciously accepted, not only because of the above passage where he lowkey calls himself a character but also because he's seen that he's listed as a character when he messed around with the Fourth Wall (more on that later) and we have no idea if he recently became one or if he's always been a character and didn't realize it.

Unrestrained questions flooded my head. Why did I get this story here? What was the relationship between that story and being called a character? Was I now a character or was I still a reader? I… Was I still able to change the future?

However, I think the big reveal for Dokja is going to be not that he's a character but that the novel is not TWSA but instead ORV.

In fact, I know I've been using "TWSA" as kind of a shorthand for the world that Dokja is now in, with the scenarios and Joonghyuk and such, as compared to the "real world" he was in before as a company worker, but technically speaking TWSA is not Dokja's story. He is not inside TWSA. TWSA still exists as a completely separate text that he has access to and every time he looks at the revisions of TWSA they are still Joonghyuk's story. They go all the way up to the 1863rd round, and while Dokja is in the TWSA revisions, that's because Dokja is a part of Joonghyuk's story in the third round.

And speaking of the revisions, I kind of breezed past this in the tags of another post but Dokja got the Final Revision immediately after thinking to himself that he wants "an author" to tell him that he did good, that it's all going to work out in the end, that he's made the right choices. At the time I thought that perhaps Sooyoung could be the author of the revisions but now I don't think so anymore.

Going back through the text, the First Revision appeared when Dokja was dying in the Industrial Complex and he wanted to read TWSA to try to figure out if there was any sort of hope to fix things without having to ruin his story by killing innocent people. (And honestly he wasn't in any shape to kill people even if he wanted to at that point.) The Second Revision came after he abandoned Breaking the Sky Sword Saint to fight the outer god alone and felt like crap because of it (to be fair she shoved him through the portal while he was still trying to convince her to come) and he and Joonghyuk had a mini-conversation about what to do after and all Dokja could think of is to just keep struggling as best they can.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that all of the revisions have come when Dokja is at an extremely low point, floundering, trying to have someone tell him what to do, tell him that he's made the right choices, etc. Except not once has he actually said anything to anyone in the story around him. He didn't actually end up asking Sooyoung if he did the right thing; he wanted her to tell him it's going to be okay but he only thought it. Just like every other time the revisions have appeared. Almost like they came from someone else who can see what he's going through right then and knows he needs a little help...

Also, back when Sooyoung's version of the story first appeared, I was a little confused by the (First) after it, thinking that maybe Joonghyuk only had the first part of the story, but then later we see that Joonghyuk has 『Han Sooyoung – Records of the 1863rd turn (Last)』.

So now I don't think Sooyoung is writing the TWSA revisions, even if I do think she wrote the original TWSA, and I think that her story is also getting revised as she changes it because she is also a character in which "the ones to complete the story were the 'Characters', not the author" applies.

And speaking of the stories, I kind of went off on a sort of three, three, three tangent in the Sooyoung post, but I realize now that that can be taken even further. There's three unknown beings still left in ORV (Secretive Plotter, Oldest Dream, TWSA's Author), there's three protagonists in both TWSA and ORV, there's three people involved in a novel (Reader, Writer, Character), and there's three ways to the survive the apocalypse. Which, TWSA lists those ways as Regressor, Returnee, and Reincarnator.

But, technically, aren't we also seeing three ways to survive the apocalypse right now? Joonghyuk's way in TWSA, Han Sooyoung's way in her diary, and Dokja's way in ORV itself. Not to mention, now that I think about it, we have Regressor Joonghyuk, Returnee Dokja, and now Reincarnator Sooyoung...

Three separate stories, all sort of TWSA but not technically, more like they're all different versions of the same story. And the dokkaebi's have recently started talking about "which story will you choose" (talking to Bihyung btw, who's been helping Dokja all this time...) and everyone else in ORV keeps going on about a Single Story and how they're all vying for their true story and ending. And how maybe the true story/ending has finally come. Because this particular timeline is going through Dokja's story...which is ORV.

And too when I had the post about the "failed stories" I wondered if maybe it was foreshadowing for ORV ending in tragedy (and maybe that's still true) but also now that I think about the "failed stories" and how both Sooyoung's story and Joonghyuk's story could be considered the "failed stories" in a loose way. Granted, we don't currently know how those stories actually ended since ORV started off with Dokja waiting for the epilogue and the 1863rd ending was disrupted by Dokja, though Dokja has been pretty heavily implying that at least TWSA ended in tragedy up to the epilogue. And with the Single Story it's possible that all three of them will end up combined in the end of ORV itself.

Especially since we don't know what happened to 1864th Joonghyuk. It's possible we may see him again at the end of ORV. Also, I just realized that Joonghyuk stopped being a character when he moved past what was written in his personal story but, atm at least, he's also past ORV's story since we haven't seen him since and Dokja has no way of knowing what's going on with him.

On the topic of endings and epilogues, Dokja has been less and less willing to read TWSA as he starts living his own story and has finally outright said that he doesn't think his epilogue will be in the file. And, yeah, if Dokja's story is ORV then his epilogue would be ORV's epilogue. And ORV does have one. Even though I don't read the chapter titles ahead of time due to spoilers, I did notice when I looked to see how many total chapters ORV has that the last one had the word "epilogue" in the title.

And that's not even getting into Dokja casually stating that the novel is a lie. Which is very interesting.

And of course, there's the infamous moment where (while Dokja is sleeping I might add) the Fourth Wall starts telling the 1863rd Joonghyuk Dokya's story and it literally starts reciting the opening passages of ORV itself. And I'm pretty sure that when Sangah shoved him into it, he once again saw Dokja's story (ORV) just due to the fact that he zeroed in on not just Secretive Plotter, who doesn't appear in TWSA, but specifically all the things Secretive Plotter did in regards to and with Dokja.

In fact, as Dokja messes around with his Fourth Wall more and more, it becomes more and more sentient and present in Dokja's story (ORV) and he starts seeing things that perhaps he, as a character of ORV, was never meant to see, such as the fact that he's a character or that the Fourth Wall goes from simply blocking mental attacks to narrating Dokja's actions, reflecting his thoughts, etc. Just like ORV does for us readers.

I've actually briefly contemplated in the past that perhaps the Fourth Wall isn't necessarily protecting Dokja from the elements of TWSA, but in fact protecting him from the outside world (relevant part quoted below)—

Oh man, what if that's what it means by Fourth Wall? Instead of Dokja being a real person and the Fourth Wall existing because he knows he's not part of the novel, what if he's a character and the Fourth Wall is actually the barrier between him and the real world where the author lives? In which case, the being behind the Fourth Wall could be the author (or the reader!) of Dokja's story.

—and I then later began to wonder if it might be our world and not just some random third world inside the story of ORV, and I really do think that's the case now. Or it could be both! If I'm reading a comic about Batman who's reading a comic about Spider-Man, both I and Batman have a Fourth Wall between us and the fictional world we're reading about, ergo Batman has a Fourth Wall working both ways. (Ignore past Marvel/DC Comics team ups, pretty sure those aren't considered canon lol.)

And this is not only because of the fact that the Fourth Wall is acting more and more like a narrator (or like the third-person text of ORV) but that Dokja reacts so poorly to it going down. Sure, the first time the Fourth Wall went down a million constellations tried to attack him so that caused him issues, but later when he took down a little bit of it for the giants he was in a place with only his most trusted constellations who didn't seem to make any attempt to attack him and he only opened it up a teeny tiny amount and yet he still was physically wrecked. I don't think that he would be that affected by now by the elements of TWSA, especially since he literally learned he was a character and was freaked out for a moment but didn't have this big world-ending crisis...like he might if he attempted to connect to our world. Also, Dokja still hasn't gone back to the idea of using ORV on himself...

And on that topic, I know that I've kind of joked before that Dokja is the most oblivious person ever for someone who also happens to be able to read various characters' minds and see their actions, but honestly speaking there are tons of parts of ORV that are from other POVs that Dokja has never and likely will never see. I actually started tracking them about a hundred chapters back and we get a different POV, even if it's just a few paragraphs, almost every third or fourth chapter. And they're all from the third-person POV, just like how the Fourth Wall speaks.

Meaning that the true omniscient reader's viewpoint is ours.

PS: a very weak "clue" that I'm not really "officially" including is also the fact that The World After The Fall is mentioned as a book that Dokja has read and that's a real webnovel written by the same authors as ORV. I'm not really counting that since I do understand the concept of a cheeky little cameo but it could still be fun to at least acknowledge the possibility that it's something that secretly indicates that Dokja is maybe a little more connected with our world than any of the others.

PPS: I think if I find time this weekend I'm gonna go back through at tag everything or make a list of all my posts or something. Trying to find links for this majorly sucked and I just kind of gave up at points lmfao.

#I swear all I do lately is wander around in a daze thinking about ORV #I took a shower and zoned out so hard contemplating this theory I couldn't remember if I washed my hair or not #And then I got to work and realized I forgot to take my medication #ORV IS LITERALLY GOING TO KILL ME #lol I think I'm a bit tuckered out from all this theorizing all at once #well at least all this long form theorizing/meta analysis #time to go back to my regularly scheduled programming where I just react to dokja being a little shit and everyone else going along with it #orv #orv spoilers #orv liveblog #orv novel chapter 377 #omniscient reader's viewpoint #long post #kdj #yjh #hsy

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utilitycaster · 1 year

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@burr-ell replied to your post “I think some of it is joking but a lot of the...”:

i've never encountered the coin hatred! like are people mad at the coin for Gods Bad reasons, or are they mad because the coin flip 'made' fearne revivify orym instead of laudna and thus temporarily got in the way of Cute Girlfriends

You know, it's not entirely clear so I left this out because it's all highly speculative, but anyway, untagged thoughts on that:

The most vitriolic stuff I've seen is kind of projecting onto Fearne's ambivalent feelings about the coin and turning it into something that I think is much stronger and more unkind than it is [ie, saying in about as many words they hope Fearne makes FCG eat his damn coin when Fearne's position is, quite literally (per a direct quote from episode 3x51) "I trust you. I'm not sure if I trust the coin."]. I have definitely seen this sentiment more from people who do ship Imogen with Laudna than those who don't, but I'm truly not sure if it's anger at the revivify choice - and if it is, since that was Fearne in the end who used it, that feels especially weird.

I think in the end it's a combination of not liking religion, which, sorry pal but this is D&D and if the main villain of the campaign is like "We should unleash something to eat the gods," religion is going to be a pretty present and intense theme; and as a few people have noted in the tags, the fact that people tend to accept Sam's characters only on the condition they serve as support for their favorite characters.

So with that in mind, I do strongly suspect it's also folded into the Cute Girlfriends situation. It was pretty common fanon in those circles that Sam was a shipper on deck (genuinely unsure why; the most I can think of is that FCG wanted Imogen and Laudna to make up when they fought but like, FCG wants everyone to get along and they would have done the same if say, Fearne and Orym got into a fight; and Shared Dream, which was really just for Imogen). Then, pretty much immediately following the murder bot reveal, Sam actually relaxed and grew into the character and started making interesting choices, and I've seen increasing resentment ever since, which is funny, because FCG irritated me from episodes 1-31 and then from episode 32-present has been on an absolute hot streak.

There's a significant overlap with people who were also furious that FCG went into the Grand Disc because Imogen might die (babe, this is D&D. you hear a loud crash beneath you, you investigate. also Imogen can do magic from like 400 feet away and literally half this party are healers.) and who were mad he brought other party members into the Shared Dream (which, Imogen could have requested this only be a her and Laudna thing, but didn't) and that FCG encouraged Imogen to talk with her father. There's also overlap here with the people who felt Deanna should primarily exist to further Imogen's feelings for Laudna, so yeah, my suspicion is "already doesn't like religion, and then the clerics have the gall to have personal interests and goals that don't center around the ship, and to find renewed/growing comfort in the gods in a crisis? Bad."

It also feels very whipping boy to me - like, I think people are mad at the narrative itself for splitting up Imogen and Laudna for what is shaping up to be at least weeks in game time and months in real time; I think they're mad that their ship is demonstrably not, in fact, the heart of this campaign and that the Uthodurn arc is very good to the point that people who fell off C3 are catching up; and I think they're terrified both that Imogen and Laudna could, potentially, die thousands of miles apart from each other without ever having kissed and that Imogen is not just trying to burn every spell slot and knocking herself out with the psychic damage trying to reach Laudna but is in fact still going about her life. But they can't let themselves be mad at Laura and Marisha about this (even though literally it's their choice that Imogen and Laudna haven't kissed), nor admit that the campaign they've been so vigorously defending is now going in a direction they don't like, so they're just heaping all this onto FCG and their coin. Anyway, good news is after the incredible Commune scene most people have gotten really fucking quiet.

#burr-ell #off topic but while I do not want this there is a certain dark hilarity in imogen dying specifically of psychic damage from failed sending #gift of the magi (sad trombone version)#cr tag

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lumine-no-hikari · 2 days

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #128

So… I have good news and bad news!

I will start with the good news! J and I are not dead! We're not even slightly injured! Yay!

The bad news is that the plane is pretty ah… pretty banged up. It's not totaled or anything; it's definitely repairable and J has insurance for it, so it's really not the end of the world. I can't show you any pictures yet, because J asked me not to (something about legality and insurance???), but I have them. Maybe I'll post them up tomorrow.

As for what happened... to my inexperienced eyes, it looked like J was going in for a landing. We've done this like a million times before; it was going as per usual. Until it wasn't. For reasons I don't understand, the plane started veering to the left and leaving the runway, and J couldn't get it to stop doing that, also for reasons I don't understand.

A bunch of rapid-fire decisions were made in order to avoid colliding into buildings or into other vehicles. He tried to get the plane to go back into the sky, but it wouldn't go up; it remained on the ground. So then he aimed it towards open spaces. When it still wouldn't stop, he aimed for the treeline.

Fortunately, by the time we reached the trees, the plane had slowed down a decent amount, and the trees were young and still relatively bendy and forgiving. J also thought to get a special harness for the seatbelt to go over our shoulder and chest beforehand, and it was a really good call for him to have made; planes come equipped only with little lap belts, and if we had just stuck with that instead of getting the harness, we might have ended up being thrown forward and mashing our heads on the controls.

In the end, for us, it just felt like if you're in a car and you slam on the brakes suddenly. We were rocked and shaken, but not in any way injured. Because J saw to our safety ahead of time and was able to make good decisions even when the shit hit the fan, we lived. Stuff like this isn't normally something people get to walk away from unscathed.

It was an amazing combination of luck, prior planning, and skill on J's part that allowed us to remain unharmed. My faith in J and his ability to pilot a plane has not wavered. In fact, if anything, I trust him even more than I did before; now I am certain that if something unexpected happens, he can STILL keep us safe, because I just got done watching him do it, and the way he handled it was AMAZING. I couldn't be more proud of him!

A short while later, a bunch of police folks and some firefighters showed up, as well as some staff from the airport to make sure we were okay. It was a lot of people in our vicinity generally, and it was a lot to deal with, but I dealt with it on my own until J was able to emotionally recover enough deal with it; understandably, he was shaken far worse than I was. But we got it sorted out. Answered some questions. J filled out some insurance form. People gave us lots of kindness and reassurance along the way. The manager of the airport drove us to a nearby hotel. All things considered, everything is fine.

Of course, we're still very shaken. Both of us had a fuckton of adrenaline surge through our bodies. My hands are still shaking and my chest is tight and trembling as I write this. But we're okay, so don't worry. It's just adrenaline, and adrenaline can't hurt us by itself.

So... we're not home yet. We're at some other place because we thought it prudent to stop the plane to get gas. We're about 2 hours away from home by car. And what's more, we have to stay overnight here in order to deal with insurance stuff in the morning. Then I suppose we'll ask M or Br or both to come fetch us from here.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but whatever it is, I'm sure we'll figure it out. Even for big scary stuff like this, the solution, ultimately, is to just take things one step at a time.

On the bright side, I was able to snag you a bunch of really great pictures today! I love taking pictures of beautiful things for you, and I love showing you my world! Here, please enjoy these extra, because they were hard-won, and also because if things had turned out differently than they did, I might never have gotten a chance to share these with you, and that would have been sad, because I DID A GOOD JOB WITH THESE:

...I love my planet. I hope that if I show you enough pictures of it, maybe you could like it, too. I certainly love yours. And I love you, too, just in case you forgot. But I hope you don't forget, because part of the whole reason I write these letters is so that you can remember that you are loved by someone, somewhere, not for what you look like or for what you can do, but for who you are as a human being.

Oh, oh, oh!! And!! Today!! In the hangar before we left! J and the flight instructor practiced landing and flying and taking off for 2 or 3 hours before we headed home. So I chilled in the hangar with music by myself, and these two old men came in, and one of them spoke to me for some reason, which wasn't bad. But! I had my earphones in, so I had to ask him to pardon me and repeat himself.

Well, he was all like, "Yeah, get those things out of your ears!" in the same way that cranky old men generally like to do when people younger than them use technology. And you know? The version of me who existed prior to the letters I wrote to myself probably would have cowered and said, "I'm sorry sir."

BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I DID TODAY!!! 🤩🤩🤩

Instead, I looked at him square in the face and said, "Excuse me, but I'm an adult human woman and you don't get to tell me what to do. Would you like to try again?" And!! Oh!! Sephiroth!!! I think he expected me to be all meek and submissive, because the shocked "Oh fuck!" look on his face was ABSOLUTELY!! PRICELESS!! And he spluttered for a bit before finally introducing himself properly! I was really glad that he tried again. But I think he was a bit too embarrassed about how rude he was before to interact with me much further than that; I'm not too sad about that, though.

...I wonder if you'd be proud of me. I mean... if you could read any of this, and if you've been able to read any of the stuff I've written so far. I wonder if you could see how much I've been learning and growing and trying to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the memories I carry. I wonder if you'd be proud. And I wonder if you'd use my growth as inspiration for your own.

I'm pretty tired, so I think I'm going to stop writing now.

I love you. And I'll write again tomorrow. Please stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

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hushimstressed · 9 months

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I have. SO many thoughts about your Spider-Man au. First of all, I don’t know how much or how long you’ve watched slimecicle, but as I long time frequent viewer I can tell you he is DEEPLY unhinged. He makes a fantastic villain whenever he sets his mind to it. Which brings me to my point - you’ve mentioned slime living in fear of his lack of control over venom. I think you could break slimecicle into two pieces - Charlie, his civilian identity, and Slime, his symbiote. Together they make slimecicle. Charlie brings the puns, the humor, and the lightheartedness to their hive mind. Slime brings the violence, the territorialness, the disregard for human life. Combined it means that slimecicle cracks cannibal jokes before he eats people and stalks those he cares about. I think he would be all in on the cannibalism. He’s disturbing not by being scary but by being silly and normal even as he eats people. Becomes obsessed with Spider-Man. Some guy hurts the spider real bad and slimecicle tortures and eats them. I just think he should be demented and unhinged! He offers to eat Juanaflipa’s bullies. When him and Mariana find out each other’s identities and split ways he stalks him to make sure he’s safe. Maybe he even killed someone before the symbiote. He’s a fucked up silly little guy. Take this with a grain of salt if you want these are just my thoughts! I just think he should hive mind and be creepier. And that he’d be into the murder thing.

🐀

Answer got too long so I have to hide it under the cut again whoooooooo also there’s a poll at the end

Charlie definitely gets unhinged but only really after Juanaflippa dies because that’s when he stops holding back Venom/Slime from going on a rampage- as time goes on and his issues remain unaddressed the line between Charlie the human being and Slime the symbiote becomes blurred. Before he’d make more of an effort to “mask” anything out of the ordinary (with varying success) but post-Flippa’s death he rolls with the horror more instead of covering it up, e.g. “That was just a very large dog, don’t worry about it hahaha” vs “yes, I just ate a man- I skipped breakfast, we all do it.”

Charlie indulging in more “monsterous” habits and the symbiote Slime forming genuine human connections with those around it (Mariana & Juanaflippa)! So when Mariana and him “split” after her death, he justifies following him around because he want to keep him out of similar danger, and it’s fine because Venom/Slime is helping. Before he would catch sight of Spider-Man and adore him as a symbolic figure to what Charlie could never amount to, now he follows Mariana out of desperation for losing all he used to have (but simultaneously cannot confront Mariana in person because then he’d have to face a whole other can of issues relating to Juanaflippa’s death).

Charlie definitely considered eating Juanaflippa’s school bullies at one point but never brought it up to her because he was under the impression she didn’t know he was possessed by a man-eating symbiote lmaooo

Also you make a good point of making Charlie creepier! I considered indulging into some body horror when I first started this au but figured that would scare people off so I kinda forgot about it 💀 like “oops I grew a second mouth” and then vomits a skeleton hahaha and how an alien species attaching itself to his body could make him feel like his body isn’t his own anymore but the host of a being out of his control and comfort :)

On a side note he would 100% crack a pun before killing a man (I’m just not good at puns so imagine a really funny one rn) and nom

Accept this doodle as thanks for the brain rot I will continue to think of these dumb idiots whom I love

#ask #anon #rat anon #mcyt #qsmp #qsmp au #slimecicle #juanaflippa #spiderman au #venom!slimecicle #tw vomit mention #body horror #el Mariana #slimeriana #<- in their break-up era

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ragnarlothcat · 6 months

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I was tagged by @veloursdor (thank you 🥰) and I have a sore throat and am responding from the centre of a pile of blankets. I am cozy and my mouth tastes like chai (also teeth, probably).

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

27 apparently! I should have a 30th birthday party for my account once we reach that point.

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

446,791. Definitely thought I was over 500k by now but that's writer's block for you. I've written half as much this year as I did last year. But if I really apply myself in the next two months...

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars only at the moment. I've toyed with branching out but I've decided that any spare inspiration goes to original fiction instead.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

à la carte - I think this is the fic I'm most known for? Inasmuch as I'm known for things anyway. Glad people are still enjoying it!

Aggressive Negotiations - I had no idea this one was second now. Good for it! This is one of my hornier Obi-Wans, which is saying something given how I write the guy.

as holy and enchanted - Only two chapters but it contains as much sex as a much longer work. Efficient!

nothing compares to you - hasn't been updated since February 2022 but I guess some people like seeing Anakin fling himself against the Force like an angry cat trying to break down a door.

Out of the Bag - catboy Anakin my beloved, my original poor little meow meow.

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I was good about it for a while because I like talking to people about my fics but then in like December of last year I burned out a little and stopped replying but kept posting fics and then the situation got out of control. I started replying again over the summer and have just decided that everything between like December 2022 and June 2023 exists in a weird little no-reply bubble.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably my most recent fic, from a certain point of view. It ends okay for Obi-Wan and Anakin at least?

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The fics that have endings are almost all happy endings 🤔 à la carte, maybe? There are a bunch of non-obikin characters who also have nice things happen to them so maybe it's extra happy.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I guess the closest I've gotten are snarky comments about my lack of updates but those people do seem to like the fic. They're just not crazy about the author.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yup! It's funny, I described my smut as vanilla but it's all relative isn't it? I think by many standards obikin itself is pretty kinky.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do not. The closest is probably as holy and enchanted because I definitely borrowed Indiana Jones vibes for my Anakin, but nothing beyond that.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware so if so, the thief made a clean getaway!

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few! Actually the funniest thing I did was immediately paste the text into google translate so I could see what was going on before realizing that, uh, I already know what it says in English...

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope! I've talked about doing it a few times but I worry that I'd be a nightmare to work with since I'm not great at sticking by a project.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

At this point it has to be obikin. I've never maintained interest for this long in any fandom before. It's the combination of interesting and handsome characters with a setting ripe for fix-its. And then it's fun making weird AUs with them too? They're just excellent!

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I mean never say never but Murder at Theed Hall is extraordinarily unlikely. I write mystery original fiction (well, write is a strong word recently but like...I have a pile of disjointed paragraphs?) so I just don't feel the drive to resolve the story.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I keep answering "dialogue" for the various iterations of this question but like, how embarrassing if everyone else thinks my dialogue sucks? I stand by it anyway but the idea weighs on me!

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I think my biggest weakness is all the time I spend beating myself up for clumsy phrasing or slow output so my new answer is I have no weaknesses and everything I'm doing is on purpose. Yay me!

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've never had a reason to do this. The most I can imagine is a quick "Anakin said something to Artoo in binary" but otherwise I'd probably translate into English. Is that frowned upon???

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. I was like 13 and it's exactly what you'd imagine.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

It depends on my mood! In my current mood I'll pick my baseball fic The Bottom of the Ninth because I really wrote 40k about obikin playing baseball. I was my target audience and I had a great time. No regrets!

Tagging (does it say how many? I'll just do a few) and as always, no pressure: @renlyslittlerose, @treescape, @intermundia, @artemisthehuntress, @lilredghost

#tag game #five people seems like a good number #also i'm coughing now too #if i'm sick i'm going to be so mad #it's like my body doesn't even care about all the writing i want to do

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hibernationsuit · 24 days

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hello i am crawling into your inbox on all fours. whats the new lore. hows mars. whats goin on there. 🤲

HIIIIII thank u for asking oh my god :'3

backstory for the whole thing is that i've had two story ideas in my head that i rotated for a lobg while until tow hyperfixation appeared in june last year and i have barely given any thoughts to them

NOW for a while i've been, like, working more on toby's backstory and all and done some worldbuilding and started having thoughts abt pulling him out of being a video game oc and instead keep him as an original oc. which in turn led me to have some thoughts about the original stories. what i decided is to ditch the plots, combine the stories into one and throw toby & co. in there HEHE

Now what's happening in the story itself: basically Earth has been terraforming and colonizing planets for a while, and only after a while went "oh wait we also have Mars over there". So they go there like 100 years before the story plot starts and terraform it and it kinda starts to have it's own thriving colony & people are happy. Then Earth gets bored and kinda leaves it to be on its own (which Mars is kinda happy about honestly, Earth directives were starting to get annoying).

Meanwhile Toby's (and others') backstory stays the same (though some details r changed, like corporations and projects, how Earth works and all), and so kinda does the reason for Tobias to leave Earth. The managers of the project he was working in as a lead chemist were doing some fucked up unethical shit and he tried to whistleblow them and almost ended up getting killed by the lead guy of the project for that. The corporation the project was part of wasn't really pleased w it but decided to deal with the lead guy instead and leave Toby alone (partly bc Klara has a very high rank in their intercorporational relations + Toby has some friends in internal affairs).

At the same time Klara got an offer to move to Mars bc their corporation's daughter company is having some problems she would deal with very well, and while Toby didn't really like the idea at the beginning, they did realize that it would also be a good way for him to "start a new chapter" (and also get away from ppl who really don't like him). Plus it's said that Mars is really doing better than Earth in some way.

And so they decide to go there. Yay 🤍

EXCEPT THAT IT IS NOT DOING BETTER SJFKKFSHFJJFJX Mars is in fact, kinda fucked up in a way that it's very divided, kinda dangerous and has a shitty government that only cares about money. Plus there's some rebels who want to get rid of their current government. But hey at least there's a gian ocean on the north side of Mars! woter

When they arrive there their transport gets ambushed by said rebels and they, for some reason, take Klara w them. Toby tries to start a fight and is left on that spot until found by local government officials. They kinda know why he & Klara arrived here and r thus somewhat nice with him, BUT since the corporation Klara is working for is kinda against the local government, they aren't That Nice. When he asks them to help him out get Klara back they laugh at his face and go "lol get a job and calm down."

And so he decides to do it all by himself (+ teams up with some other people). And so the story begins!*

and that's all i've figured out so far properly

ANYWAY!!!! i am soooo excited about this one oughhhhhh thank you for asking <3333 i think i'll post the more official writing things on my writeblr once i sort it out, but mostly i'll also talk about it here and post art here or on my art blog TEEHEE <3

*meanwhile klara is having a surprisingly ok time btw. the rebels apparently wanted her to do smth they need her skills for and she is treated sooo well. much better than at her own job <3

#asks

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librathefangirl · 1 year

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Glad you like that silly little mute Mel thing I made awhile back, your tags really interest me about things like how would Mel handle things like eating, breathing, and talking. Things I never even considered!

Oh. I'm so glad you sent this ask actually. Because when I wrote those tags, I was like Ooh I could have thoughts about this, and, well, I do. This basically gives me the opportunity to combine my love for Meliodas whump with my actual university studies. (So buckle up people, this will probably get long).

Okay, so what we are talking about here is an AU where Meliodas got an injury during the battle with the gods that damaged his vocal cords, right? And the DK, being the absolute asshole that he is, made sure it was permanent. Not just so it remained through Meliodas' resurrections but also so it was immune to any healing magic or whatever else Meliodas might try over the years.

Now, I might not have much to add about Mel becoming mute that hasn't already been said here (amazing post for anyone who hasn't seen it). But! The potential struggles for him doesn't end there. Say, for instance, instead of rendering him mute, the injury causes vocal cord paralysis (loss of movement in the vocal cords).

What does this mean for Meliodas? Well... (I'm just gonna add a quick read-more here.) Continue reading for a breakdown of how an injury like that would effect Meliodas' speech, voice, breathing, eating, and what else I might think about!

Before we start, I feel like I should mention that I don't have any personal experience with vocal cord paralysis. I am, however, an SLP student, which is what I'm basing this off.

Now then. I'm first gonna give you all some information (about vocal cords and vocal cords paralysis), so we're all on the same page before we get into Meliodas' specific scenario. If you do not care about that, feel free to skip ahead to the bold text for just the AU stuff.

Okay. So the vocal cords (or vocal folds). Incredible little things, aren't they? But what do they do? Well, as you might know, they help us produce speech. When we speak air from the lungs passes through the voice box and causes the vocal cords to come together and vibrate, which creates sound that is then formed into words. But that's not all they do! They are also crucial in our breathing (since we cannot breathe if they are closed) and in protecting our airways (they close when we swallow food and drinks).

What about vocal cords paralysis? Now the term might sound complicated, but it just means that one or both vocal cords are paralyzed, meaning they can't/don't move. One possible cause of this is nerve damage caused by, you guess it, neck trauma (among other things). One-sided paralysis is more common, while both sides being paralyzed is more serious/potentially life-threatening.

So what would all this mean for Meliodas?

Well, it all depends on the paralysis itself, of course. It could be as mild as just a hoarse voice and all the way up to actually life-threatening issues. Does he have a one-sided or two-sided paralysis? In which position are the vocal cords stuck? If his vocal cords are in a more or less closed position, his voice would be less effected but he would have serious issues with his breathing, since the vocal cords need to be open for air to pass through. (He might even need to get a hole cut in his throat to breathe through instead!). If his vocal cords instead are in a more or less open position, he could struggle to produce any voice at all, as well as get winded really easily and probably have issues with eating/drinking as well, since he can't properly protect his airways anymore. He might risk getting pneumonia as a result of drink and food ending up in the lungs instead of the stomach. Even a one-sided paralysis could seriously impact these areas (voice/speech, breathing, eating).

For simplicity's sake, let's focus on one specific scenario. During the battle with their parents, Meliodas suffered an injury to his neck. That the DK then made sure was permanent. This injury damaged some of his nerves, resulting in a one-sided vocal cord paralysis. One of his vocal cords can still move as normal but the other is stuck where it is, immobile. This means that Meliodas can no longer properly close his vocal cords and air leaks out between them. Because of this Meliodas struggles to keep his breath. He gets winded way easily than before, loses his breath more often, struggles with shortness of breath and has a much more noisy breathing. When he speaks, he needs to do so in shorter sentences than before, or stop in the middle of his sentences to breathe - because the air just isn't enough anymore.

He also can't speak as loudly as before or in a high pitch. His voice itself is now hoarse and breathy. A lot of days, Meliodas also suffers from vocal fatigue. You know how your legs will get tired and ache if you run too much? Yeah, that. Except its his voice and his neck muscles instead. Actually, he gets more tired in general than he did before. He has to put so much more effort and energy into speaking nowadays. When Meliodas eats or drinks, he ends up choking and coughing a lot more often than he did before. He also clears his throat more frequently too, and when he coughs it isn't as efficient as it used to be.

Of course, this is all taking its toll emotionally as well. It's all very frustrating for him. I mean, speaking, eating, breathing - these are all things we take for granted. Until the day they don't work as they should anymore. Meliodas also finds himself avoiding places he would otherwise enjoy, like taverns and festivals. They're just too noisy. It takes too much effort to make himself heard in those places. He much more prefers it when it's just him and the rest of the Seven Deadly Sins back at home. Or when he doesn't have to speak/use his voice. Some days, it's hard enough with training and making himself heard in the castle's big rooms or when he has to address a lot of people. The other Sins are supportive of course, even if they don't understand how he ended with an injury like this and why healing magic won't work on it, but it's still hard. Especially when Merlin's only remaining ideas start with breaking curse, which they're still not sure how to do even after all these years. Well, except with the Commandments, but that's not an option Meliodas is ready to face.

(Now I could also get more into Meliodas' communication with others and different ways he and they could help him make himself heard. It's especially interesting to think about given the canon time and setting. But I feel like this post is long enough as it is. Who knows, maybe I'll make a part 2 to this AU.)

---

Now, did you actually ask for a looong essay-story answer? No, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. (That goes out to anyone who made it all the way to the end!)

#angsty and educational whump #meliodas gets vocal cord paralysis #nnt au #meliodas nnt #nanatsu no taizai #seven deadly sins #libra talks #libra answers #soniclozdplove

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ewingstan · 11 months

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top 5 favourite characters in any piece of media ever?

Oh Christ*. I doubt I could do real justice to this, but lets see if I can at least list in no particular order some of the characters I most like that have at least an orthogonal connection to this blog.

Rachel Lindt: Look, getting through the early parts of Worm were rough for me. Everything seemed a bit too exaggerated and ham-fisted, WB hadn't really learned how to do prose, and the only thing keeping me going was remembering that my cousin recommended it a while back and that that some out-of-context posts I'd seen from blastweave made it sound like it had some interesting ideas. But one of the early inexplicable hooks the story got into me was introducing this character who'd seem from a distance like another stock bully character, and almost immediately making me think "wait, I wanna see what he does with her. There's something there." And then there was! There's just something so satisfying about all her interactions with Taylor throughout the whole story; to the extent that I basically divide the story by the different periods of their relationship. She's everything.

Also, my posting about her was some of my first interactions with wormblr. Which is also the first fandom I think I could say I'm actually a part of? Like, there's plenty of things I'm a pretty huge fan of, I even have another fandom sideblog I started before this, but Worm got me actually posting instead of just passively reblogging for pretty much the first time. And Rachel got me there! So I have her to thank for answering this question at all in the first place.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus: The first character I liked in a blorbo kind of way, if that makes sense. Like, there's plenty of characters who I love, or who make the stories I love shine, or who I always had a fun time thinking about. But Harrow as a character just cracks open my brain in a way nothing else does. The Necromancy. The goth space Catholicism. The theatricality. The general horribleness. The specific combination of overwhelming presence and sad shitsack vibes. The specific combination of genius and ingenuity coupled with the crushing stubbornness and lack of creativity. Its not even like a key sliding into the lock in my heart, its like a lockpick that's clicking through all the tumblers in my heart-lock and revealing it for the flimsily-built masterlock-ass shit it is. I never used to get people who talked about how a character inspired them to pick up a hobby or take up an interest in something. But I ended up reading Lolita because of how much I loved Harrow! I started getting into Nabokov as a whole and finding one of my favorite writers because of Harrow! Nothing else does that to me! Which itself leads to...

Rose Lalonde: Did Harrow have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Harrow at all had Muir not loved, one summer, a certain initial witch-teen. In a comic by Hussie. Oh when? About as many years before GtN was written as my my age was that year. You can always count on my favorite characters for a fancy prose style.

No but Rose's verbose prose style really did cement her as one of my favorite characters. Like Bitch, she's a character that got me into an overly-long work I wasn't sure I wanted to tackle. I had attempted to start Homestuck a few times before I actually got into it, and the early computer-game jokes and user-submitted prompts weren't really engaging me. I did not see myself enjoying reading about John futzing around in his room for a few thousand pages. But man oh man, when the narrative switched focus to the literally purple-prosed kid obsessed with Lovecraft, I was ready for whatever the story wanted to do. I related to her and idolized her instantly. When I reread Homestuck much later, I related to her for much less complementary reasons. I have a particular (read: grating as hell) speaking style that's a result of being a kid who both thought of himself as smarter than everyone and was completely unsocial to the point of barely being able to have a conversation. I sound like an analytic philosophy paper written by an undergrad who's not invested in the topic or the course but who really wants to sound like he knows what he's talking about. The unique and specific character voices in Homestuck are the best part of the work for me, and when I first read Rose, I was basically reading who I wanted to be. And reading her later and realizing all the ways she's just a dumb kid makes me think of all the ways I was just a dumb kid, and how I'm trying to get to a place where I can converse with someone and feel comfortable without being condescending.

Look, there's a reason that despite Dave and Karkat having all my favorite moments in the work, I ended up owning two pairs of Rose t-shirts. And its the same reason I have a Ninth House outfit.

Kaladin Stormblessed: What if there was a story about trauma giving you superpowers fueled by bonding to an alien intelligence, but instead of the bonded spirit driving you towards self-destructive behavior it tried to make you into the best version of yourself? I've already talked a bit about how the Stormlight Archives has a surprising number of similarities to Worm, and reading it when I was a young teen probably contributed to developing the sensibilities that made Worm click for me. Plus, the cosmere was my first real multi-property media I got into, so it probably preempted me getting into comics as well (which this blog is also theoretically about). Speaking of—

Roberto da Costa: Feel weird about this, because I'm not even very familiar with the original Claremont stories he originated from. But the Al Ewing stories I read with him were some of the first Marvel comics I read at all (USAvengers was a weird-place to start that journey, tell ya hwat), and he set the tone for what modern big-two comics could do well perfectly. There's a lot of obvious problems with the eccentric billionaire hero archetype, but he's the best of that type of character. And while Ewing has written much better comics than the New Avengers/USAvengers runs he first used Roberto in, those stories were the ones that got me interested in Ewing in the first place. And I initially made this blog as a comics subblog devoted to his work! So again, this blog wouldn't really exist without Sunspot.

Special mention to: The March Hare+Doormouse. Putting them together because my parents met while playing them in their college theater program. Owing my existence to these characters means they probably deserve at least a mention. Also Jessie Pinkman and Sylvester Lambsbridge and Clint Barton and Saint Perpetua and Celestina the Witch and Smurov from Nabokov's "The Eye" and Quentin Brooks from Eidolon Playtest and the fictionalized version of Al Swearengen from Deadwood and Sister Carpenter from "The Silt Verses" and—

*No, I'm not putting him on the list.

#apologies for the extended lolita bit #especially for the horrible 'the sea'/'Hussie' rhyme I should have my keyboard taken away for that #ask game #leo says #i prolly got too personal with some of that sorry gents #also somehow all the characters I put on the official list were ones I related to or who got me into a sprawling work #while nearly all the special mention characters were conniving tricksters who get over their head but still end up looking damn impressive #so I guess that's the two ways to be my favorite character? Be a lovable huckster or be an uncomfortable reflection of my past self

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valtharr · 1 month

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I posted this to the alternate history subreddit and got zero responses, maybe Tumblr is more interested in discussing this idea?

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You ever create an alternate timeline just to indulge in your own nostalgia?

...just me? Okay...

Anyway, for a while now, I've been thinking about an alternate present where present-day sensibilities and everyday life are closer to what they were like pre-2010. Since the biggest influence on modern day life during that time arguably came from the rise of the Internet, social media, and related things, pretty much all of my thoughts center around that.

The point of divergence here is that the Millennium Bug (aka "Y2K") was just as devastating as people feared it would be. Databanks were wiped, machinery failed, there was loads of general unrest as people were falsely classified as deceased, didn't get their paychecks, and other major and minor consequences of their data being either wrong, or gone completely. In some cases, it took years to clean up the mess completely.

This, coupled with the bursting of the dotcom bubble not much later, led to a general wariness and distrust towards anything having to do with the Internet. Businesses might have still been okay with using their homepage as interactive billboards, but it turned out to be almost impossible to find investors or loans if your business directly relied on the Internet. And even those who did get their idea off the ground, failed to find a large enough audience. As such, social media like Facebook and Twitter are barely, if at all, a thing in this world. This is also partly due to smartphones, and therefore smartphone apps, never breaking into the mainstream. Apple could not establish its new iPhone as the lifestyle gimmick of choice, instead going all-in on their iPods, music players that you insert USB drives, and, in modern variants, SD cards into to listen to your favorite tunes. The newest model has three card slots, letting you choose between three different albums on the go!

Streaming, of course, also isn't a thing. No Netflix or iTunes to inspire copycats. Blockbuster partners with Microsoft for their new HD-DVD technology, establishing it as the primary medium to watch videos at home. Sony, meanwhile, focuses its efforts into combining a handheld gaming console and a portable video player. The PSP becomes a huge hit.

But, speaking of video games, online games are an almost negligible market. There's less of a focus on high-end Internet speeds, so playing with friends is an activity mostly relegated to your own home. Microtransactions and subscription services are not a thing.

Some popular websites do establish themselves, but they're far from being as influential and popular as in our world. Youtube stays afloat, but is mostly seen as a place to find new creators, and then follow them onto their own web presence. Very few people manage to make a living off of it, and corporations, TV stations, etc won't be found dead making their own YouTube channels.

Without social media, interactions online are still relegated to message boards and chat rooms, with the accompanying implicit netiquette. Which of course means, everything's still pretty anonymous. Without Facebook introducing the idea of using your real name and photo as part of your online presence (nobody joins a Pokémon fan forum expecting their old classmates to find them there, after all), pseudonyms and avatars rule the day. This, of course, makes it almost impossible for artists to really find an audience, much less make a living off their art. Even if they did find lots of people who enjoy their work, the lack of services like PayPal, Patreon, or Kickstarter, makes it nigh impossible to actually make a profit as an independent online artist. Some find a way, but the concepts of "influencers" and "content creators" never develop.

Amazon fails to establish itself as a major online marketplace. It makes enough for Jeff Bezos to start a chain of brick and mortar bookstores, with the online storefront being more of an afterthought. Most, if not all online shopping is really just individuals selling their old stuff, usually locally.

That's all I really have so far. I'd love to hear some more ideas, maybe things that aren't as tech-centric? Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

#alternate history #alternative history #modempunk #y2kcore #worldbuilding #world building

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dogtoling · 1 year

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(1/2) i remember reading your thoughts post on RotM and how you also didn't like OE's plot a while back, and they were what got me wanting to send that ask! i usually have trouble imagining the splatoon world beyond what we're shown, so i was super interested to see if you had any examples in mind of what a campaign that digs into the worldbuilding might look like. i would now also absolutely kill for something set in a city, things like bounce pads and grind rails immediately come to mind as fitting much better in recreational urban environments and i would give so much to see in-depth explorations of places like hagglefish and makomart and wahoo world (imagine the hub potential,,,)

as for RotM i agree that it's so painful in its missed potential, it feels like it's trying to surpass the impact of OE and in doing so completely faceplants into anime stakes escalation. I don't understand why they even needed to go into literal space, when the space exploration tech everywhere in alterna along with some sky plates: starry darkness edition could perfectly well create the aesthetic of it for a final boss showdown (grizz's will to bring back the past world being so strong that the plates start displaying constellations that no longer exist in the current era !!) without having to break immersion by actually leaving the planet. i think inkling grizz, guide octavio and the final conflict instead involving the dome itself going to shit would be my ideal combination of plot elements that aren't so silly and outlandish that they steamroll over the fact it takes place in the final resting place of the human species.

and man, octo expansion. it's still my favourite and in my mind it all works so well but there are so many holes seeing the actual canon laid out and not just half-memories from the one playthrough i did when i was 13. i had thought it was that marina and pearl frequently hacked their way into shady goings-on in their free time and that's how they came across the player's situation in the deep sea metro, and that marina being an octoling played a pretty big fucking part in her motivations to help the protag and in her arc as the only octoling escapee we know of in the Turning Point For Octolings story. i had also kind of got the idea in my head that they do stuff like this on the regular behind the scenes similar to the squid sisters for their involvement in an action plot to make more sense, but no they're literally just some guys who showed up. why did my inaccurate memories work harder to try and make them fit in the story than the actual published product. walkie talkie on a mountain 😭

thanks for your patience if i went too long into any tangents there but overall yessss to your alternative story ideas and thanks for inspiring me to always be thinking about the possibilities of the splatoon world :) if theres other stuff i forgor to talk about ill send another but this ask has already gotten huge :0

thanks for the response essay (literally don't worry i enjoy reading response essays). "walkie talkie on a mountain" with the crying emoji is making me laugh rn THATS LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED SDHFKJSDBF

I didn't even really consider RotM potentially having an ending where instead of space, Alterna just gets wrecked for real. man, that would've been a WAY cooler conclusion not to mention it would've been completely realistic AND impactful after everything you learn about it. One of the things that has always annoyed me about RotM is that Alterna's walls collapsed and humanity perished because a rocket TEST launch, not even a proper launch, overloaded the crystals and caused everything to cave in. In spite of this, it's not really caved in during RotM and they literally launch ANOTHER ROCKET AND NOTHING HAPPENS. Not even a test, a straight up LAUNCH. How come nothing happened this time!?!?! I know the reasoning is probably something like golden eggs as fuel don't burn as hot or something and that's why it's safe to launch a rocket this time, but come on now, it would've been way cooler and more impactful if Grizz repeated humanity's mistake and caused Alterna to be destroyed out of his hubris and wish to go back to how things used to be. It would've also been such a cool setup for a desperate final battle.

Anyway those thoughts aside, always happy to inspire people to think deeper into the Splatoon world. Honestly I don't even think THAT deep into the Splatoon world and i want to work on that and try to learn to get more out of it, especially when making OCs. But every time my ramblings inspire people that's a win in my books!

#mailbox #i love these thoughts and ideas #i saw there actually is a part 2 in my askbox! i will publish that tomorrow #(it is half past 3 am)

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prosebushpatch · 2 years

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Hi, I'm a huge fan of your Detective Pikachu AHIT au, so much so that you've inspired me to try and make an AHIT au of my own. I was wondering if you had any tips or advice for me though because I've never really written an au before, let alone a fanfic. I'm not sure how to word it well, but I'll try my best. I guess what I'm wondering specifically is how do you find the balance between standing apart from the original media and making the two blend together in a way that feels natural? If that makes sense? And/or general advice. I've been wanting to write this story for a long time but actually writing (and posting it for others to see) is very intimidating. Sorry if this is a lot to ask for though. I really look up to you a lot when it comes to writing stories. You do such a good job of making the characters easy to relate to and I can almost physically feel myself in your stories when I'm reading them because of how full of life they are. If the advice thing is too much, I understand. If nothing else I wanted so say thank you for all the AHIT stories you've written. They've helped me through some difficult times. Still are. It gives me something to look forward to when everything else is unclear. Thank you very much <3

Oh gosh, first, thank you so much, this is so kind and I’m so glad and grateful my stories can do that for you ;o; <333 It means a lot! I’m happy to share my thought processes for writing! Under the cut because I get a little rambly, but I hope it helps a bit and feel free to ask me to clarify anything!

For balancing aus, what I usually do is pinpoint the main pieces of the original media that I think are most important to the media itself and then if there are any matching themes/vibes with the media I’m working with, I latch onto those too. For example! The main thing I zeroed in on in the Detective Pikachu au is how the dad gets turned into a pokemon, gets amnesia, and has to team up with his kid to unravel the mystery surrounding his predicament. That’s the part that, I think, makes it a Detective Pikachu au first and foremost and it’s where I’m the most faithful to the source, and then I deviate quite a bit, like how I keep the prince/snatcher a lawyer and turn him into an eevee instead because I thought it fit the character more.

And then with that au, I threw in the shadow pokemon mechanic because I thought the artificial corruption of hearts and closing them fit how Vanessa and the prince in ahit are corrupted/overshadowed by their heartbreak. And a smaller thing I did to combine Detective Pikachu with the prince was how, in the movie, detective pikachu is obsessed with coffee and since I made the prince’s partner a polteageist, it made sense to have him have an affinity for tea. And then from there it was a matter of just playing around with how the characters and the world of ahit would change with pokemon!

The most important advice I can give is to write the moments/tropes/emotions that you most want to! For as much as I can justify my choices for the story above, I also just really wanted to write them like that, haha. Like I just adore the shadow pokemon mechanic and wish it was utilized in games more, so I brought it into the story so I could play with it!

I totally get nervous posting stories too. And, looking back, there are a lot of ways I could improve the aus, like I feel that my majora’s mask au could have more influence from majora’s mask itself, but also I do love the story I ended up with! So I think, just writing things that make you happy/call to you is the best place to start. There are a lot of moments in those aus that I was certain no one else but me would enjoy, but then they ended up being some favorites of readers! (Like Wuka ;w; I wasn’t going to keep him in as long but I was delighted to find others loved him too, so I indulged in more shameless owo moments hehe).

This got a little long, but I hope it helps and I hope you start writing your story soon!!! I think my favorite thing about stories is how many ways you can tell the same one, or similar ones, or ones that start in the same place but branch into different paths, and how they all matter. In some way, big or small, stories matter. And your story matters! Wherever you start it, and however you guide it through its journey, it matters! And I most certainly look forward to reading it when it’s ready! <333

#rose and rambles #anonymous #prosie's writing adventures #ALSO THANK YOU AGAIN ;O; <333333 THIS MEANS SO MUCH YOU ARE TOO KIND #i will add that i think pokemon aus just really lend themselves well to things #like i basically took Mafia town and thought about how to put pokemon in there AND when i was thinking about the geyser #holding up the mafia headquarters #i just remembered seeing in the anime where psychic pokemon used psychic powers to hold up bubbles of water for water pokemon to perform in #i think it was the manaphy movie #so then i used water/psychic types to hold up mafia headquarters #i was reading a lot of pokedex entries for that au and just sorta thinking about which ones melded well with ahit #i had a lot of fun with it ;w; should probably write for it again someday.... still gotta work on other things first tho #anyway thank you so much for reading! both my stories and my rambles <333 #i hope you're doing well and enjoying many soft and lovely moments

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mcmoth · 3 years

Text

Dream SMP fandom etiquette

So. This post is probably too little, too late, considering the fandom and the issues I'm about to talk about have existed for so long now, and a lot of the people who need to hear this probably aren't on tumblr anyways, but I just wanted to dedicate a quick post to talk about fandom etiquette. Mostly pertaining to discourse, and interactions with people outside of our circle. These are just going to be my own personal thoughts, of course, but I felt it could be good to bring some of this to attention. So without further introduction:

Where to (not) talk about discourse:

Don't go into other streamer's vods to only focus about a different character. If you want to analyse, for example, c!Techno, do it in Techno's stream. Don't go into unrelated streams, like Tommy's, Tubbo's etc. to do it, even if they were a part of the event in question. This is, of course, with the exception if the character in question didn't stream their own pov. But otherwise, stay in your own space. This is to prevent cluttering a streamer's comments about unrelated discussion. To give further example: Tubbo's vod comments should primarily focus on Tubbo's character. Not Tommy's, Ranboo's, Techno's or whoever else's.

Don't start discourse in the comments of animatics. Seriously, stop that. Animatics aren't discussion boards. The comments are there to analyse and appreciate the video presented, not argue. It's especially rude if you pick a small detail, that wasn't even the focus of the animatic, or even a completely unrelated issue to rant out your frustrations about. To give examples: starting disc discourse in an animatic of Tommy talking to Wilbur, or rambling about how tragic Techno's character is in an animatic focused on clingy duo, etc.

This applies to fan songs as well.

Video essays are the exception to these rules. I think it's safe to say they're the place to bring your hot takes, if you really feel so inclined to argue in youtube comment sections (Though I'd personally advise to still keep the topic relevant).

Keep negativity out of fanfic comments. This isn't nearly as big of an issue as the last points, but I've seen it happen a couple times, so I'm deciding to mention it. Fanfics are written for fun. Even if you disagree with the characterisation or something else, unless the author is clear in accepting critique, keep criticism to yourself. And definitely don't rant about how you dislike a character unrelated to the fanfic. Sharing your thoughts on the fanfic itself is of course fine and welcomed, but when it turns from discussing the author's story to talking about how you dislike a character in canon, that's when it crosses a line. Example: comment talking about what you don't like about c!Tommy on a Bench Trio fanfiction.

When commenting on art, keep the feedback positive. Even if you dislike any presented character, keep that to yourself. Example: Don't say things like "I hate x character, but this art is good". You might think the author would feel honoured, but it's actually just hurtful.

How to deal with discourse:

This is gonna be a shorter section, because I think we all chose to do it in different ways, and that's valid. Also, it's just that I, myself, am still learning how to do this well, but I thought it could be good to try to lay it out anyways.

Try to scroll past takes you disagree with instead of arguing if you don't think you'd be able to keep your cool. Noone likes a random person yelling at them through a screen, and if you rant, you'll get an equally frustrated reply back, and noone will be happy. Either explain your point in a calm manner, or scroll past/ unfollow/block.

On the keeping cool thing, remember to just step away. Take a deep breath and calm yourself down before proceeding. To minimize the frustration you feel on a daily basis, filter tags, block people, avoid videos and youtube comment sections that you know will upset you, and leave certain internet spaces if you find yourself unable to escape negativity even with all those steps. Remember: in the end, it's all a game played by friends, a story, and your enjoyment of it lies in what you take from it. Abandon what makes you unhappy. Marie Kondo your fandom experience.

Also, here's your reminder, to whom this is relevant, to take care of yourself. Hydrate, eat, sleep, clean up, get fresh air, remember the things outside of all this. There's plenty to do outside of this fandom, and what you can do here can wait. There is no pressure, or obligation. Not for the content you create, not for the discussions you bring, not for responding to discourse, not for anything. Fandom is meant purely for fun, so take care <3

Interacting with people outside of the fandom:

This is something that I've seen a bit of talk about, and I thought I'd drop in my own thoughts on this as well. No matter the differences, we're all just trying to vibe, and I think these are important things to keep in mind to leave both sides better off:

Don't interact with hate posts. Just don't. You don't want to see them, they don't want to see you. Even if your response is lighthearted, their animosity is not. They will feel frustrated regardless, and the grudge will only grow. And if they're being agressive, calm discussion most likely won't happen even if you're being polite. Just leave it, please.

Correct misinformation calmly. I completely get how it can be frustrating to see blatant lies and all, but with our reputation, people will not listen if you're being antagonistic. Provide sources, explain, and leave it at that.

Don't be hateful, send death threats, or assume privilege or whatever else. That's stepping into the same shoes of the people you hate. Misunderstandings go both ways, and the fact of the matter is, I think most people who dislike DSMP, even the ones who are agressive about it, don't have their stance rooted in maliciousness. To expand on why the situation became what it is today, taken from a discussion on discord:

I think it's just a combination of Dream growing so insanely quickly + how internet spaces have changed over the years. When ccs like jackstepticeye or pewdiepie etc. grew popular, activism wasn't as prevalent and held to such importance. Now it's thankfully more talked about, but that also leads to Dream being more scrutinized in comparision. Add twitter trends and the general prevalence of the fandom, and you've got everyone feeling tired and frustrated and paranoid. People also tend not to fact check stuff, especially when it comes to celebrities and stuff they're not really interested in, so rumors spread fast.

And actually, I think there's absolutely valid reasons to be made uncomfortable by Dream SMP, either in it's creators, content or fandom, and there is, of course, stuff to criticise in general. The problem is the hate and misinformation and overexposure, but we are not going to solve any of that by being aggressive in return.

(This is, by the way, not talking about more serious cases. Like doxxing, or leaving gore images in hashtags, or similar instances. That's a whole different complicated issue that I don't feel qualified to tackle.)

And finally, don't overwhelm outsiders who merely mention the Dream SMP. Don't send asks asking them to watch it, don't write paragraphs explaining the lore, don't confuse them with inside jokes, just... Don't jump on people like that. Unless they're explicitly clear in wanting interaction and getting into the fandom, that kind of thing will just drive them away. This is in no way exclusive to the Dream SMP fandom, pretty much every fandom has people enthiastic to have more people involved, but since there are so unbelievably many of us, it's especially easy to go overboard with this stuff. Just... be polite, and don't pressure anyone. Be nice, please.

So.... ya! This would be it for this one, I think. Sorry that it's kinda long, thank you if you read it at all. Hope y'all have pleasant days ^^

#dream smp #mcyt #fandom #fandom etiquette #fandom critical #tommyinnit #technoblade #tubbo #dreamwastaken #let me know if i should remove tjose tags - i'm not sure whether it counts as crosstagging or not sorry #long post #my own post

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