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isawritesshit · 5 months

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I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE SOMETHING AND NOW I WANNA CONTINUE IT PLEASE HELP

Okay, so now that I have your attention, remember how I said I was gonna continue my Gojo series over the weekend?

(Btw, if you want, prologue and first chapter are up on that story so you can go read it and then come back to harrass me about not continuing it for forever because I have writer's block)

Well... I may or may not have come up with another Gojo series...

It's kinda an AU of the series I have already started. Basically, our lovely and sexy reader is actually a daughter of the Kamo Clan leader and had been betrothed to Gojo from a young age (yes, this is gonna be one of those arranged marriage things). Reader is basically trained to become the perfect wife for him, essentially mental abuse and being told her whole life that the best way to serve her family was to become an object for him.

So, when Reader goes home with Gojo after their wedding, she expects him to basically be what she was trained for him to be (demanding, a bitch, etc.). However, what Reader doesn't know, is that Gojo has been in love with Reader since he first saw her when they were children, and basically, he teaches the reader to love herself. Plus, there's going to be plot involved.

I'm gonna put what I have for the prologue under the cut. Tell me if y'all wanna see more of this because I low-key just might write it anyways :)

cw: obv themes of force/arranged marriage, hints of mental abuse, mentions of sex, but overall mostly fluffy.

People would say that if there was one thing that Gojo Satoru was not, it would be committed. Not in all ways, however. Satoru was very committed to his sorcery, to the protection of ordinary people and the balance of the their world and the jujutsu one. It was relationships that he struggled with. Yes, he had always had an authority problem, both growing up and even now, so his relationships with jujutsu elders and other clan leaders were never good to begin with, especially when he became a clan leader himself and took up the title as “The World’s Strongest Sorcerer”. However, his friends? Sure he cared deeply for them, but he could never show them that, lest he risk the possibility of them getting hurt for that same reason. Lovers? Absolutely not. They would last a week at best, hence why his friends would say he had commitment issues.

But not many people knew that Gojo was betrothed to be married, and if there was one thing that he could say that he was committed to, it was that.

And not just because he knew that the responsibility of upholding the Gojo Clan’s honor and survival was on his shoulders, but also for a reason no one could have predicted.

The first time Satoru had seen his future bride, they were both young, too young to understand why each of their parents were sitting across from one another, why the most important members of the Kamo clan were staring him down when he was barely five years old. But then his parents asked to see you, and that’s when everything changed.

You were brought into the room by a caregiver and left in between the two families like you were some kind of meal. A veil-like mask covered the front of your face from the nose down. Your wide eyes looked about. First at your caregiver, who stepped out of the room with a bow, then to your parents, who didn’t even look back at you, then to his parents, and then, finally, to him, the only other child in the room.

Gojo Satoru didn’t know it at the time, but it was at that moment that he had fallen in love with you. That same day, it was agreed upon that the two of you would wed when he was 25 and shortly after you turned 24. That seemed like such a long time, but… Satoru decided that maybe he would try to get to know you when he saw you next.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible. Both of your families kept each of you on a tight leash, and neither were inclined to meet with one another just because the Gojo heir wanted to see his bride. They were rival clans after all, with a long history of vendettas and alliances.

However, just because Satoru saw you once didn’t mean he stopped thinking of you. Even as a pre-teen, he sounded your name in his head, sometimes aloud when he was alone. Kamo (Y/N). It was one of the few things he knew about you, other than what your eyes looked like. He knew that those eyes had likely changed over the years since the first time he saw you, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t think about them. About you.

There were a few other things Satoru knew about you. You were the only daughter of Arao Kamo, the Kamo Clan head. Not only that, you were the youngest child and had three older brothers, all of whom he had never met before. He would take in what his parents would tell him about you, though it wasn’t much. Only that you had a different cursed technique from the blood manipulation that ran strong in the Kamo line, and that you were naturally beautiful for your age.

But Satoru wanted to know more. He wanted to know what your interests were and if they were similar to his. He wanted to know more about your cursed technique and what kind of training you had received. He knew that you would receive some kinds of etiquette and liberal arts education, as was normal for daughters of the clans to do, but did you like any of those things? What foods do you like? How have you grown?

What did the rest of your face look like? That was the question that replayed constantly in his head after Satoru was notified that him and his parents were to meet with you again to make some further updates to the arrangement. Maybe this would be his chance for him to finally speak with you, to get to know you.

But it was just the same as before, only this time, the both of you were 13. There was no caregiver to bring you in, and no other Kamo representatives other than your mother and father, whom you sat beside.

Satoru remembered staring at you the whole time, taking you in. His parents didn’t lie. You were beautiful and he hadn’t even seen all of you, and you also carried yourself maturely for a young girl. Your eyes had changed, of course, more grown but still just as wide and lively as he remembered. Your face was no longer obscured by a mask, and instead, you held a delicate fan that matched the kimono you wore, covering your face as you listened intently while your parents spoke, but never speaking yourself.

You never once looked in his direction.

The meeting concluded before he knew it had begun. His parents had needed confirmation of your fertility, since they were to be among the first to be notified when you started your cycle. However, in an offer that was a bit unexpected, your father had requested that the marriage date be moved up five years, to which his parents agreed. That part made Satoru ecstatic. Instead of waiting 12 years, he now would only have to wait seven.

And with that, you bowed and departed behind your parents, swift and silent. Satoru tried not to look like he was running as he tried to catch another glimpse at you when his parents excused him, but when he peered out the nearest window that overlooked the front lawn where you had arrived, you were already gone.

And so, Satoru would go another seven years. Another seven years of thinking of you, dreaming of you, wondering what you looked like behind your fan and cosmetics. He had hoped to see you enrolled in the same class as him at Jujutsu Tech, though he knew for a fact that you most likely would not be. Your parents, more so your father, he realized, protected and sheltered you more than ever after that second meeting. He had expected you not to show up to that first day of school, but when that first day was over and you actually didn’t, a small part of his heart still sank.

Satoru did take some females to bed during the next seven years you spent apart, mostly out of curiosity as to what sex felt like, but also by persuasion of his friends. However, his friends would get confused as to why he would never allow those girls to stay the next morning, or why he would insist on wearing a condom even when they gave him permission to finish inside. He would give the excuse (thought it really was the truth) that he actually wasn’t that interested, or that he also wanted to protect against STDs (the latter was a great insult that had women storming out on him, to his relief). In reality, he wanted his first real time, his first enjoyable time, to be with you. Even if he was allowed to take on any amounts of lovers he wanted both in marriage and out of it, he felt guilty knowing that you had to save yourself for him. So, in a way, he was saving himself for you too.

As the years came closer and closer, he began to think of you more, trying to subtly gather more information on you, to little avail. He knew that this pining and longing could be considered childish, but he didn’t care. Was it wrong to want to come to love, to already be in love, with the person he was to spend the rest of his life and create a family with? Satoru certainly didn’t think so. However, that didn’t mean he was without restraint. After his parents had passed and the mantle of the Gojo Clan leader was given to him, he didn’t try or demand to see you. After all, the two of you could still be considered strangers. Hell that is what you were, he had to remind himself. He figured it would be best to keep you with your family and not disturb your current life, especially since you would be seeing your family less once you came to live with him (but also because he didn’t want you to see him as some obsessed maniac). He decided he would be patient and wait, which would make your first real meeting with him all the more sweeter.

Those seven years passed by too fast, he realized as he stood in the center of a magnificent shrine in what could have been the most spectacular and slightly uncomfortable outfit he had ever worn. Your family surrounded him on almost all sides as they awaited your arrival at sunset. Your parents and brothers sat off to one side of the room, and he could feel their eyes on him the entire hour that he stood there. After what seemed like an eternity, your headpiece peaked slowly over the hill as you ascended the path to the shrine. He held his breath.

He noticed your eyes again first.

They were downcast, melancholy, almost near lifeless. Not the lively pools of color he remembered and saw so often in his dreams. Your blank expression was such a contrast to the splendor of your being. Indeed, he thought that he was being pledged to a goddess, with the way your updone hair and headpiece played in the golden sunlight, the way the whites, golds, and reds of your wedding kimono and wraps made you look like a princess, and the way your face, your whole face, looked like it was extracted from a star. To put simply, you were the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen.

Finally, you found your place beside him, your hands clasped in the folds of your long sleeves. It took you standing this close to realize how much smaller you were than him, though he immediately recognized how your face and demeanor had shaped into womanhood since he last saw you. He would catch glimpses of you when he could throughout the ceremony, taking in more of the newest features that you had laid out for him. His heart was beating rapidly, hoping that you would look back at him at least once.

But you never did, even when you presented one another with ceremonial wine or when you took his arm to leave the shrine for the reception dinner that was filled to the brim with Kamo Clan members and other officials. As soon as you both entered that reception, your fan was over your face. You didn’t say a word to him the whole time, so he never said anything to you.

A cold sweat had laid itself over Satoru as you said goodbye to your family members. It wasn’t the type of goodbye that he would expect a family to give to their only daughter. There was no affection, no emotion shown, as if leaving your family was merely another ceremony. And then you turned back to him, eyes still looking down of course, and got into his car without a word.

Satoru could tell that something was wrong and off about you. Sure, you had carried yourself gracefully throughout the entire evening. Every movement you had made between walking and eating and sitting was done to absolute perfection. Maybe it was those monotone movements that were his first sign. No, it wasn’t that. It had to be your eyes. Why were they always so emotionless? Why did you never look up at him? What had happened to you since the last time he saw you?

At least your fan wasn’t up. That he could be thankful for. Satoru sighed. He couldn’t help but feel like the happiest day of his life, the one where he finally got to be with the girl he had loved for 15 years, was the saddest day of your own. He wanted to ask about it so bad, now that he had you alone, but he didn’t. He would just look at you ever so often as you watched the scenery pass by through the car window. Maybe this was your way of taking everything in, and he didn't want to disrupt that. He trusted that you would talk when you were ready.

He waited for you to say something, but you remained silent as the car stopped and he walked you up the stairs to the front door of his home estate. Your new home. In a perfect world, in what he had imagined previously, you would have been smiling and excited as he picked you up to walk you through the doorway. In that world, you would have hugged and kissed him as he twirled you around and around in your own private celebration. The door closing behind him brought him back to reality. You stood in the center of his grand foyer, taking in dark polished wood and rich splendor of your new dwelling place. The space was only illuminated by shaded lamps and a dim glass chandelier. A new couch, your couch, was against one wall, one of the many of your belongings that had been moved in a week ago. Satoru decided to sit on that couch while you stood in the center of the room, looking down, not moving.

He couldn’t take this anymore. It was like you treated the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. As if he, your new husband, wasn’t sitting ten feet away from you. He even considered the possibility of you being deaf or mute for a moment. No, he didn’t know what to do, other than speak to you. But what to say? Are you feeling okay? Are you happy? Sad? Were your clothes uncomfortable? How come you didn’t speak or look at him? At anyone? Was it something you were afraid of? Were you afraid of…

That had to be it.

“Are you afraid of me?”

(please lmk what you guys think)

#isawritesshit #jjk #gojo satoru #female reader #anime #jjk smut #gojo x reader #gojo smut #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #arranged marriage #forced marriage

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some-pers0n · 3 months

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Medic is a character I feel people agree is often mischaracterized in fanworks, but nobody can really settle on why that is or how people get to that assumption. What makes him mischaracterized? Does he care too much about his team? Too little? What even is his character to begin with? Does he even have one? Why should we even care since he's a comedic character designed to make you laugh first?

In other words, hi! I'm a fanfic writer who is extremely abnormal about Medic TF2. Those two things are going to be pretty central to the topic of this analysis piece of sorts. This right here is an essay that details the characterization of the Medic from Team Fortress 2 from the character's inception in development all the way until the final comic. Yes. The one character.

I'm doing this mostly as a way for a) me to comb through canon material and study this character so I can remind myself over and over again how he acts and b) me not-so-subtly venting about how much of a nightmare it is to find a fanfic that writes Medic in a way that aligns with his characterization in canon. It 100% is because I'm a picky whiny bitch who can't help but constantly read like a writer and overanalyze everything, but I think I'm not that alone when I say that the fandom's perception of Medic is...warped.

But why? Why do people seem to not exactly understand or get him? Why is it hard to find common ground on what aspects of Medic are in-character or not? Why do so many people have wildly different interpretations of it?

Short answer: Medic's character has shifted pretty drastically from his original inception in 2007 to the last released comic in 2017, retconning him from a cold and calculated dominating doctor to a silly and goofy mad scientist to make him more funny. There is no real proper true characterization and everyone can have their own interpertation.

Long answer? Well...let's get to that.

I should probably preface this with a couple main interpretations of Medic's character and how I think it's fascinating to understand where they come from. They also set the groundwork as to how these different characterizations of Medic come from.

There's what I like to call "Game Medic". Game Medic is the most common interpretation amongst players of the game. Redditors and the like point to this interpretation of Medic and hail him as the "true" characterization of him. Honestly? I can't blame them. Have you heard Medic's voice lines?? A lot of them are him barking orders at the others and hissing at his fellow mercenaries about their incompetency. It gives him the aura of a man driven to madness by having to take care of his teammates, reflecting that of what a lot of Medic mains feel.

Game Medic characterizes Medic mostly as a sadistic man who does not care for the other mercenaries. He's dominating and demanding, ordering around the others. He laughs maliciously when there's death and, famously, he believes that healing is not nearly as rewarding as harming others. People generally believe that Medic would experiment on the mercs against their will and torture them for his own amusement. It's not uncommon in these circles who believe in this characterization for theories and suggestions of Medic once being a Nazi to crop up.

I don't believe this is an accurate characterization of him, at least not anymore. I'll get into the details of why later, but the basic summation is that Medic had a rather different personality in 2007 that was later shifted and changed to be more comedic and silly as the years went along.

The next most common is "Fanfiction Medic". It's the Medic you see in those TF2 x Reader stuff, in the sense of Medic being reduced to a caring and compassionate man. It takes more aspects from the comics but does still miss the point of his character in favour of making him easy to sympathize and identify with. He can have aspects of his in-game portrayal, with him being overly critical of the one he loves. He's affectionate, sweet, and generally really caring and loyal, if possessive and easily jealous. In fanfic, he ranges from being dark and intimidating in a sexy and dominating way to a generally nice guy who just loves his partner.

It's the inverse of Game Medic and is often mocked and made fun of. You'll see memes that compare an overexaggerated version of Fanfiction Medic, with him being extremely submissive and soft, to Game Medic, who oftentimes acts in a more dark and violent way, perhaps bringing into his utter disregard for life and his obsession with experimenting using animal organs.

This interpretation should go without saying that it's also not exactly true to his character. Flanderizing him to the point where he doesn't even really identify with any traits or qualities from the game or comics. And for what? To make him more appealing? Or perhaps can people not fathom him acting in a more mean and rude way?

So...how did we get here? Why is Medic and his characterization such a divisive topic? Characters like Scout and Engineer seem to have pretty consistent characterization through and through all subspaces of the fandom. Why Medic? And, even still, why do most people have a hard time replicating his voice? His personality? Anything?

That's what we're going to talk about here today, folks.

Pre-MtM

Let's start with pre-TF2 days: Invasion. The concept art of Medic was very much in line with the whole orderly doctor archetype. Serious expression, clean pristine white clothes. There's a sense of authority and dominance to him. This is a man of reason and science. He is a mercenary. A Medic who heals his team from the brink of death.

This characterization I feel lasted until the style shift, where TF2 became more of a comedic and light-hearted game. This is where I believe the whole "disgruntled angel of death" stuff comes from. Medic retains that order and dignity, which leads into the game.

His voice lines, as previously mentioned, are aggressive and accusatory to his own team. I wouldn't blame you if you assumed he hated his team entirely. He claims that his skill is wasted here, that they're all useless idiots, so on and so forth. It characterizes him as having a grudge towards his fellow workers, only doing this because he enjoys the thrill of bloodshed and violence. It definitely paints him more as being a sadistic madman like the rest of them.

It's a characterization I've already covered, so for the sake of not sounding redundant, let's say that in 2007, the inception of Medic as we know, was predominantly portrayed as a somewhat sane, albeit sadistic and authoritative man of science. He is violent and generally looks down upon his coworkers, viewing them as half-wits who only get him killed over and over again. From his body language, he's a lot more rigid and straight than the others. It gives the impression that he's a proper, well-mannered serious character.

A major moment of characterization that could've happened was the scrapped original Meet the Medic video. I believe this would've come out in 2009 alongside the other Meet the Team videos like Meet the Heavy, Meet the Sniper, Meet the Soldier, etc and etc. While it isn't canon per se, it's still a topic worth mentioning and talking about.

Around this time, TF2 was becoming a lot more comedic than its original inception. Saxton Hale and Mann Co. had been invented, two things that would be a sign of what the game and property would eventually become. It's light-hearted and silly now! In the Classless Update of 2009, there were newspaper clippings showing a saga in which the King of Australia waged a war against a hill. The Spy VS Sniper Update added Jarate, a literal jar of Sniper's piss. Hats!! HATS!! The games were changing quite noticeably from how they originally were.

Which brings us to the scrapped trailer. A basic summary is that Medic is being interviewed on a train and talking about how he invented the medi-gun. It begins with a cold opening of a BLU Sniper bleeding out while a Soldier of the same team calls out for help. They are then promptly run over by a train, the exact one that Medic is on as the next shot is of him putting away luggage as the gore and guts from the run-over Soldier and Sniper splat onto his window. Again, comedic cold open played for laughs. It sets the tone of Medic as being a serious character with a streak of silliness to him. It also helps that there is a chessboard there, further characterizing him as an intellectual.

Medic then begins his story. It's a dark and terrible sight to see. The team is losing and the Heavy is bleeding out. He seems overworked, having to fend off against a Spy all by himself and quickly trying to save the Heavy. The rest of his team are useless, just standing there screaming as they're in pain. Again, further characterizes him as a savior to them. The only competent one.

Then, something quite new happens. Medic slaps Heavy in frustration once he flatlines. He...slaps Heavy. It's on impulse and clearly done in irritation, but that's quite different. Before, we've seen Medic as a somewhat calculated individual. He's not prone to rash choices out of emotions. He loves bloodshed and violence, but he's fairly contained and controlled.

I think the slap is one of the first examples of Medic's character really beginning to shift. It's done for laughs, yes, but it shows him as being emotional and prone to getting physically violent and angry. I can practically hear him saying: "Live damn you! Live!" as he slaps him.

Then, chaos erupts in the room as a stray rocket blasts into the room. It knocks over Medic and he's left to lie on the ground, watching as his teammates do nothing more than scream and flail around. Yet, through a series of events, everything falls into place to create a naturally healing liquid. He watches on in fascination and amazement before then scrambling back to Heavy, pumping more blood into the puddle of Healing Juice. Eventually, the Heavy is revived.

Then the Spy head is resurrected and begins screaming for death. Again, characterizing Medic as being morbidly comedic. Medic screams (startled by the dismembered head coming to life)(reasonable reaction) and begins shooting it. Again, impulsive and acting on instinct.

Once realizing that the Spy's head is invincible, he shoots it one more time, giggling after it. He GIGGLES. Do you understand me when I say that this is important? Look at him as he does that. Tell me he doesn't do a little "hooh!!" after that final shot.

Medic's laughter is a rather large part of his later characterization, as it goes deeper into the whole eccentric mad scientist archetype instead. It's when Medic is beginning to break away from that only characterization and become...silly. He's sadistic, but he enjoys it with whimsy and intrigue. He is fascinated by the Spy head.

Medic then begins work. It furthers his sadistic characterization by him using the Spy head as a means to hold nails and such. Something that we don't see too much later on from this is that Medic builds the medi-gun. Strange since most of the time the one who's characterized as building things is Engie. This is probably done to give a sense of competency to Medic. He's a man of science capable of doing anything.

The video ends on what would later become the scene of Medic walking out with angelic light behind him and doves flying out. Still has that whole angelic feeling to him AND also when his doves first come into play. Him being seen as a holy saviour feeds into his characterization of him having a god complex. He sees himself as a man who makes gods out of men.

So, what have we learned from this video? Well, Medic's commentary is quite proper and professional. In canon lore, he would've been interviewed by the Director. His characterization would be a man of science who views himself as the only really competent person on the team. However, he's prone to fits of impulsive rage and doesn't seem to feel any remorse for his outbursts. He is an inventor of sorts, who experiments and finds it fascinating to work with science.

I also believe this is when it's first shown that Medic likes experiments. Beforehand, he was just a doctor. Now? He tests and experiments and enjoys it. He's still a sadistic madman who loves violence, but all in all, he seems a little more comedic than he did in 2007.

The original idea was scrapped as the team believed that the short didn't exactly show who Medic was. It didn't comply with what players had when they thought of "Medic". Even back then, I think they wanted to have Medic's character be something else. Something more grandiose. Also, it doesn't really touch on Medic's gameplay. It just introduces the medi-gun.

Medic's characterization would slowly grow more and more comedic as time goes on, moving away from the idea of him being a serious doctor and more of a mad scientist. What with new cosmetics and taunts.

But...this isn't enough. No, not enough. He's still not as goofy as, say, the Soldier, Scout, or Demoman. Does he need to be? No, but he could be. He could be something more.

In late June of 2011, the Über Update happened. It was a large-scale content update that not only made TF2 free-to-play, but also added several new cosmetics, weapons, and maps. But that's not what we really care about here, is it?

You already know what it is. The bombshell that changed Medic's character forever.

Meet the Medic

The short opens up with an action scene of Scout and Demo running away. Both are heavily injured and are trying to escape from enemy fire. Scout gets blown away and is then hit with three different rockets, sending him flying into a window where he calls out for Medic before cutting to the title card.

Instantly establishes Medic as a character who the others turn to for help. Good introduction to the character and his general role and premise as well as a neat prelude that catches the attention of the audience. But enough of that. It's time for the man himself.

Immediately we are hit with an iconic line of dialogue that establishes that, no, this is no serious and stoic character. This is a different, more interesting and developed version of Medic.

"Wait, wait, wait, it gets better! When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!" [Mad laughter] "Ahh... Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license, heh."

Do you see me here? I am gripping my screen here in some attempt to grab you by the shoulders and shake you. Do you understand what this means in terms of characterization? How different he is? How much sillier he has gotten?!

Okay, let's start off by describing this. Medic is performing surgery on Heavy. Based on the bullet wounds, it's suggested that this impromptu surgery is happening mid-battle. Medic is talking to Heavy incredibly casually-- he's TALKING to Heavy. He should be under anesthesia considering he currently has his entire chest open.

This already characterizes Medic as casual when it comes to surgery. He's doing medical malpractice and, not only is he completely unbothered, but so is Heavy. It could imply that this is regular behaviour and Heavy is not worried.

This surgery is just as normal to Medic as a barber cutting somebody's hair. He's telling stories and generally having fun. He's having fun he'S HAVING FUN-- He's laughing and just generally enjoying himself! Being silly!!

Not to mention the story itself is dark. The punchline is that "the doctor stole a patient's skeleton and ran away". Medic laughs hysterically after this. He finds it hilarious. Not to also mention he follows it up with that little "that's how I lost my medical license :)"

Not only did he steal a man's skeleton, managing to keep him alive as implied with him saying that the patient woke up and noticed his skeleton was missing (so he managed to extract the man's skeleton and leave his nervous system in place), but he finds it funny! It's a comical story he finds enjoyment in telling others. He even seems proud of it and doesn't regret it in the slightest.

He doesn't even seem to really pick up on Heavy's face drop or that maybe he shouldn't be telling this story when he's got somebody on the operating table. Perhaps a little socially unaware? Eh, could just be headcanons bleeding into analysis.

He doesn't have his gloves on either. Just handling Heavy's heart without any gloves or anything. Again, casual medical malpractice that he does not seem bothered by in the slightest. This idea of Medic doing surgery and or experiments with his gloves off while putting them on for literally anything else also pops back up in the comics, but we'll get to that soon.

Let's not also forget that this man laughs. Like straight-up laughs like a mad scientist. Before, we had gotten voice lines of him are evil, malevolent cackles. He's mocking the ones that he kills. Here's?? It's a lot more whimsical and silly. It's something that'll be something he does a lot more later on: laugh when he's just generally happy or nervous.

But enough about that one line of dialogue. We have the rest of the short to watch!

Archimedes pops out of Heavy's chest cavity. Medic scolds him and shoos him away. He glances over back at Heavy. For a frame or two, his eyes are wide and his expression shifts. He realized that, y'know, maybe it's not too great from Heavy's perspective to have Archimedes digging around in there. He shrugs it off with an anxious laugh. Not to also mention he absentmindedly wipes the blood on his clothes. Again, very unprofessional and not very concerned about it.

Quick note about the symbolism of doves. Doves are seen as a sign of peace and whatnot, usually combined with angelic qualities. A dove with blood on it would imply that its original meaning is perverted in some way, especially if the dove is going out of its way for the blood. It's a harbinger of peace, but finds infinite more enjoyment indulging in the bloodshed and violence of the destruction it's meant to oppose.

Medic grabs what I like to call a über implant. It's what gives the heart the ability to be übercharged. He sticks it into Heavy's heart, saying that, while most hearts cannot withstand the voltage, he believes that Heavy's heart will be able to take it.

He puts it near the beam of the quick-fix and it instantly explodes.

Medic overestimates the abilities of Heavy's heart, thinking it was strong enough. It was not. This characterizes Medic as being somewhat optimistic and believes his own theories based on no previous data or evidence. Throwing caution to the wind and hoping for the best.

However! He adapts. He thinks for a second. This is no setback. He quells Heavy's concerns saying that, no, this is the sound of progress, mein Freund. This shows that he is quick with improvisation and is completely fine with deviating suddenly whenever a new problem arises.

He digs into his mini-fridge, where he gets more characterization. He's got a collection of animal organs in here. He likes experimenting with them, so he keeps them on standby. He does not care if Heavy doesn't want an animal organ in him. This is a life-or-death scenario. Either he goes on out there without a heart or he takes the mega baboon heart.

There's also beer, implying that he likes it enough to keep it nearby. He also keeps one of Heavy's sandwiches, perhaps either for himself or for Heavy.

There's also the head of the BLU Spy, a cute callback to the scrapped Meet the Medic video. It's there with a battery keeping it alive as well as an ashtray. Medic dismisses its request to Die without a second thought. He's got more important business to attend to.

He attaches the über implant and holds it under the quick-fix's beam. Here, again, he laughs maniacally. It makes Heavy uncomfortable, but eh who cares about him this is the Medic essay. Medic is clearly enjoying the beauty of experimentation and playing god here, harking back to the idea of him having a god complex.

Finally, it's done. It glows. "Oh, that looks good," Medic says as he drops it haphazardly into Heavy's chest cavity. He doesn't even really know if this is a good sign or not. It's just glowing and beating in his hands. It's fine. Everything's all good.

Heavy asks the completely reasonable question of whether or not he should be awake. Medic laughs anxiously, a nervous tic it seems, and says, "Well, no, but as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?" He's fully aware that Heavy shouldn't be conscious, but because of the continuous healing from his quick-fix, he doesn't really care.

Medic being aloof and generally disregarding the rules of proper medical care is a constant piece of characterization with him. Whatever works best he does. Headcanon territory here, but I believe that he finds the rules and restrictions to hold him down. Prevent him from doing what's best with such nonsense things like "ethics" and "moral codes" and "being a doctor doesn't mean you get to play god".

Heavy moves his hand to open his rib cage a bit, letting Medic push in the heart. However, Medic is too rough and goes too deep, snapping one of Heavy's ribs in the process. Medic's eyes widen, but he quickly recovers. "Don't be such a baby." He grabs it and pinches Heavy's cheek. "Ribs grow back." He tosses the rib aside and turns to Archimedes. "No, they don't."

He lies to make Heavy feel better. It also displays that Medic is physically affectionate of sorts when doing surgery. I personally headcanon that he's a very touchy-feely person who generally doesn't care what other people think as he grabs them by the shoulder or cheek, but, again, headcanons. Also! Ribs do grow back, which implies either a) Medic doesn't know this or b) the TF2 universe works a bit differently.

The surgery is complete. Does he check to see if any of the valves, arteries, or veins line up? Nope! Grabs the quick-fix and heals Heavy back up. He grins wickedly while doing this, still enjoying the art of surgery and experimentation.

He helps Heavy up and smiles, saying the: "Let's go practice medicine" line. He likes those quips.

He suits up (putting his gloves on for once) and comes out of the base. Quick note here about the soundtrack. I neglected to mention how much the three songs attached to Medic perfectly reflect his character, from Archimedes being plucky and a little silly, to A Little Heart to Heart being more sinister and perverting the more light-hearted tune of Archimedes, to Medic! being a full-on jazzy piece of glory (and also the best song). I could go further into all three tracks, but let's just do some basic analysis of the first bit of the song here.

The song begins with an angelic choir, which, again, paints Medic in the light of a holy figure that saves and protects the others. Then, it devolves, getting darker and more menacing before the saxophone, trumpets, bass guitar, and drums kick in, going back to the usual TF2 style.

Medic is a mad mercenary like the rest of them. He puts on a facade of being proper and angelic, but he's no different than the others.

It all comes together with him walking out, a radiant white light behind him as his doves fly out. Combined with his steady expression, he seems like an angel who's come to save them all. At least until the song shifts, where he grins and begins to heal the others.

So on and so forth. The next part isn't as character-defining, mostly just a display of Medic's role in the game because, like healing. It does a better job of showing what his class does than the scrapped version, I'll give it that. He heals Scout and Demo before shifting focus back to Heavy.

An onslaught of BLU Soldiers are closing in on them. Heavy glances back, asking if Medic is sure that this plan will work.

Medic laughs, saying that he has no idea. Again, he doesn't know. He doesn't care. He's having fun and is just experimenting willy-nilly without a clue as to whether it'll actually work. He just hopes.

He flicks the switch and, lo and behold, it works. Heavy is übercharged and they march on to victory. The short ends there, with a small epilogue showing the rest of the mercs getting their own über implant surgery. Again, the final scene shows Medic's lack of care as Archimedes is implied to have crawled into Scout's chest and been sealed up when it was over.

Whew!! Two thousand words of analysis on one four-minute short. But, I assume you can understand why, no? This short is monumental when it comes to characterizing Medic. He's not stoic. Quite the opposite! He's careless when it comes to following proper procedures and order. He is a giggly mess who chuckles and laughs at almost anything, nervously or not. He's concerned when Heavy shows anxiety and uncertainty. He's generally a lot more goofy and silly here, you know?

He now instead mostly mirrors the eccentric mad scientist archetype. Laughing, experimenting without a care, and generally being a couple screws loose. Instead of the cold, calculative bloodthirsty character he once was, he's a lot more close and emotional here.

This characterization becomes the basis of what the following taunts and voice lines would be about. His Halloween voice lines are a lot more silly, with him laughing a lot. His Medimedes cosmetic is him screaming in agony and laughing maniacally about his new predicament.

If I may, I want to quickly talk about the Sec-Op cosmetic lines. Sec-Op I personally interpret as a fabricated evil dark side. I don't think of Sec-Op as "Medic's evil secret thoughts" and more of a force that's attached to him that acts like how a typical normal evil dark side thingymabobber works. The joke with the cosmetic is that Medic is as evil as Sec-Op, but is more casual about it. Of course, other people can see it as something else, I just think of it like that.

What I particularly want to talk about are two curious lines. Sec-Op questions whether or not Medic worries he's going mad. Medic doesn't mind. He doesn't care. Even if he is, it's not the end of the world. However, he gets extremely offended when Sec-Op suggests that the other mercs think that Medic is crazy.

Medic gets insulted when others think of him as mad, yet he himself is fine with it. Why? I think Medic himself cares a lot about how he's perceived. He claims he doesn't. He does. If he's thought of in a way that he doesn't want to be thought about, he gets upset. He doesn't care about what other normal people think of him since any conversation they have will come out as negative, but with the mercs? Nah man. Nah...

The ego of this man is a central part of how I view him. He likes being praised and admired. He likes being lifted up and viewed as a god amongst men. He wants to defy the laws of nature just because he feels like he's better than anybody else. He's a little goofy that way, y'know?

Then, of course, we have Expiration Date. I promise I'll try to be a little less exhaustively wordy here since a lot of his characterization is still the same.

Medic and Engie have been experimenting with the teleporters and bread. When Scout, Soldier, and Heavy return from their own trip to get the intel, the pair break the bad news. Here, Medic exhibits characteristics of his in-game self. It could definitely be because of how dire the situation is (they're all going to die in a matter of days), but it's worthy to note.

They don't entertain Scout and instead get straight to telling them about it. When Engie teleports the bread in, Medic tears it apart, proudly showing off the disgusting insides. He tells them all that these green blobs are tumours with a wide, grin. He seems somewhat amused by it, contrasting with the rest of them being confused or mournful.

When asked about how long it'll be, he quickly calculates in his head that they have roughly three days to live. He says it pretty dramatically too. Prissy drama queen.

Engie and Medic then curiously enough spend the next three days experimenting with the bread. Apparently, they were so busy as to not even attend Spy's bucket list meeting. Curious bit of characterization. Engie and Medic both care enough about the team to spend their last few days trying to find some sort of reason for these tumours and possibly a cure. They care about their team (or at the very least their lives) on some level.

Engie teleports bread. Medic grins as it appears in front of him, still humoured by seeing teleportation in action. Or, perhaps he notices it changing and shifting. Regardless, the bread attacks him. Not much to note here other than he's screaming loudly and dramatically. Again, prissy drama queen. He's only having a big bread monster lunge directly at his jugular. Get a grip.

Engie and Medic return to Spy and the rest of them, telling them that, no, they aren't dying in three days, but rather that it's only bread that gets the tumours. Instead, as Medic puts it: "It's some form of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat" before then shaking around the bloodthirsty monster and showing it off. He's just happy and excited to be alive and show off that, no, this is just a bread problem. Everything is all great.

Until Soldier says that he's been teleporting bread non-stop for three days.

Medic tosses the jar aside and rushes towards Soldier, shaking him around. Again, harking back to that moment of physical frustration in the scrapped Meet the Medic short. Him being impulsive and prone to sudden mood shifts is still a part of his character.

They fight the bread monster, they win, Medic corrects Soldier when he says that they'll live forever, and then he rejoins Engie as the both of them inspect the bread monster. Looks like the two of them will get to keep on experimenting.

And there we are. I could touch on the other shorts, but this is already long enough and those shorts are just repeating the same information. Meet the Medic is vital to the characterization of Medic now. Everything in the comics and shorts with him happens because of what Meet the Medic set up.

And, well, speaking of the comics, why don't we talk about those?

Comics

The comics notably do not feature a lot of Medic, at least the ones previous to the mainline comics. The comics are much more entertained with the stories of Soldier in particular. Understandable, Soldier is an almost entirely comedic character (until the comics decide to randomly throw in ideas of him being repulsed by the idea of being a civilian and can only really function in a war setting). However, it does leave the others lacking in a lot of characterization while we get a bunch of Soldier trivia.

But enough about me quietly complaining about the comics, let's talk about the issues where Medic appears!

He appears in A Fate Worse Than Chess, but doesn't do much other than watch the TV playing Saxton's message and then prepare himself for battle. In Shadow Boxers...also not too much. Just sorta dismisses the meeting and says goodnight (??? it's like midday???) before heading off. Nothing really to write home about.

Gargoyles & Gravel is where he actually gets some proper screen time again. He's experimenting on a jack-o-lantern with Engie. As far as characterization goes, he's repeatedly shown to have connections to Heavy and Engie. I'll get to Medic and Heavy soon enough, but with Engie, Medic seems to enjoy experimenting with him. They collaborate on projects and work together.

This is no different. Medic has implanted a brain into the pumpkin, one that belonged to a criminal who tried mugging him. This also implies that Medic has zero qualms about just incapacitating and experimenting on people. Personally? I like headcanoning that he cares more about his team than he does the average person, so he doesn't really feel any sort of guilt or remorse when just grabbing somebody off the streets for a healthy amount of medical malpractice. If he is performing on the mercs, he cares a little more. A Little.

Regardless, Medic is dressed up as Viktor Frankenstein, a matching costume for Heavy's Frankenstein's Monster costume. Again, comparing him to famous fictional mad scientists. Also quite cute.

Medic is again not wearing his gloves. He also declines Engie's offer for a beer, saying that he doesn't drink during surgery. Well, at least he cares enough to not drink during surgery, but y'know. Curious how this is the only real thing he seems to care about. They revive the person's consciousness, having them possess the pumpkin. Medic then says that the pumpkin could "scare the children straight". Does he not like kids or just find them hooligans? Perhaps he just likes seeing people scared. Or maybe it's just Halloween dialogue.

Anywho, Engie takes the pumpkin away and Medic reappears at the end to hold his bonesaw with a wicked smile.

So, now, time for the actual comics.

For the first couple of comics, Medic is nowhere to be seen. He's one of the characters shrouded in mystery for a while. Pauling wasn't able to track him or Engie down. Where could he be?

Then, we learn that he's still alive and well, but now working with Gray Mann as the new Medic for the TFC BLU team. But wait, those are the bad guys!

Medic's introduction scene in the comics establishes a couple of things. One, he's still the same ol' medical malpractitioner who's been busy sewing baboon uteruses into some of the team members. He's excited to work with them. Literally. He brings up how they're "blank canvases", saying how their previous Medic must not have experimented on them.

Secondly, he's still pretty lax with morals. The comics definitely make it more clear how he's unaware that maybe people don't want animal organs sewn into them, whether they know it or not. If asked about it, he brushes it off and says: "Eh, it's not like it's hurting you in any way that we know of yet" before quickly switching topics.

Another thing of note is that he explicitly lied to the TFC Scout. Interesting. He told him that he was going to fill a cavity, only to then sew three baboon uteruses into him. He's a lot more careless and reckless with the TFC team. Or maybe he also was with his previous team. Again, personal headcanons bleeding into analysis, but I don't think Medic cares nearly as much about the TFC team as he does with his main team. But, again, disregard that if you will. Medic simply just being a lying little prissy bastard is also equally as valid.

The ending panel of the scene has Medic consider and bask in the glory of his "latest triumphs" going toe-to-toe with his "earliest experiments". The phrasing implies that he doesn't particularly care about his previous team. Again, Medic likes his bloodshed and violence. He doesn't play sides or really care. He just wants to see how his newest cadavers fare against the older ones.

Medic then shows up again in the next comic at the very end, smiling wickedly after Sniper is shot by the TFC Sniper. This is then later explained away cause Joke and Funny, but we'll get to it soon.

In Old Wounds, Medic is shown to work on Sniper's body. By his own accord and will, he decides to bring Sniper back to life. Why? Well, number one this is TF2 and death is ultimately meaningless when it's done to the main cast because they're our main characters. Secondly? Well, we soon find out.

After Sniper has his little moment, he wakes up to find Medic there. Medic is less concerned with Sniper's state (both physical and mental) and is more obsessed with the idea of Sniper not being able to witness his crowning medical achievement. Ego! Look at that right there. He's concerned with how he's perceived, probably for just personal pleasure.

Also, the return of the god complex. "It's like I've always said! There's nothing wrong with playing God, so long as you are good at it!" It implies that he's said it several times before, that he's playing God and it's perfectly fine and okay because it works out in the end. He likes the idea of playing around with the laws of nature and God's will.

However, while he's gloating, Sniper attacks. This surprises Medic. Medic was either caught up in his own personal victory to notice Sniper being upset or he never once considered that Sniper would be upset, but rather congratulate him over it. Both? Yeah, probably both. He says this when Sniper says that he killed him. "It's okay though cause I brought you back to life, ja?" basically. He also then explains why he was smiling: it's just how he normally looks. He just looks like that! Smug and evil!

Medic then also elaborates on his reasoning for why he joined the TFC team. He was bored mostly. Medic loves his experimentation. He would've felt bored and as though his talents were being wasted if he wasn't able to be a mercenary. The TFC needed a Medic, so what then? Join them! He needs the funding.

Again, when explaining he still brings up how it's his greatest triumph, bringing back another person from the dead. Medic in the comics is quite boastful it seems. However, he does seem to care enough about Sniper's physical state to try and stop him from going straight back to work (killing people) before they're then interrupted by Cheavy. Ohhh Cheavy...

Cheavy is rightfully pissed that Medic revived Sniper. Why wouldn't he be??? Medic just revived the guy they killed. And for what reason? Just to say: "Haha!! I brought a man back from the dead?" Cheavy makes it known how upset he is. In a rage, he kills Archimedes.

Medic flips. Perhaps in the only real time that Medic is deeply affected by death, he screams and rushes over to his feathered little friend. Something I've brushed over until now is that Medic really loves his birds. It's a strong big of characterization that his birds, with Archimedes in particular, being something he loves deeply. He cares more about them than he does with anything else. When Archimedes is in Heavy's chest, Medic cares more about Archimedes getting dirty than he is with Heavy having a bird in his stomach.

As Medic is trying to revive Archimedes, Cheavy barks at him. Medic apparently managed to coax the team into buying him a bunch of animal organs. Guy just has a certain charm to him. Or he's just extremely adamant about it. Regardless, Cheavy isn't too pleased with him.

Even while Cheavy is nagging him, Medic STILL tries to boast about his crowning medical achievement. He seriously does not understand that now is not the time to go all: "Yeah!! I brought him back to life!! Isn't that so cool? Aren't I just the best?"

He gets yelled at, but Medic still seems unphased. Perhaps he's either used to it considering that Cheavy just yells at everyone or he's still riding the high of bringing Sniper back to life. He's excited to go out and help the TFC team, saying that he'll be right behind Cheavy. That mirrors exactly what he says to Heavy.

But Cheavy swipes him away. Cheavy doesn't want anything to do with him (which is quite frankly the most reasonable thing to do right now). Cheavy orders Medic to stay in the infirmary and get out of their way, which Medic doesn't like in the slightest. Another headcanon, but I like the idea of Medic being extremely stubborn and constantly wanting to be in a dominating role. He likes ordering people around as shown with his personality in-game and the idea of him having to submit to another person just pisses him off.

And so, he betrays the TFC fully, rejoining the TF team.

In The Naked and the Dead, we open on Medic scrambling to get Miss Pauling blood. Again, improvisation shows here as he manages to figure out that if he just pours blood back into the bodies they'll live. Who cares if blood clots happen because of contradicting blood types?

He also says a curious line. When Miss Pauling expresses skepticism about this tactic working, he just goes: "I know, ja? Why do people even go to medical school?" Some people interpret this as him never even going to medical school. Personally? I like thinking that he's just mocking the need for a proper education when something as simple as pouring a bunch of blood into a person can bring them back to health.

It's a joke, but he's shown to be dedicated to bringing them back to life. He says that he's been soaking their blood using his own underwear for. some reason. Again, joke, but also like...that's some dedication right there.

The next time we see Medic is when he's tending to Demo's wounds. Again, small talk ala Meet the Medic. Medic is catching Demo up on all of the drama. He STILL BRAGS ABOUT BRINGING SNIPER TO LIFE HERE TOO. I genuinely forgot how many times this man brings up Sniper's revival. Oh my god I know that you're proud of bringing the bushman back to life but it's so comical seeing him constantly bring it up like: "Yeah!! And I was super cool and smart and able to do it, ja?" He's so silly.

More jokes here about Medic being able to replace Demo's eye, but because of Monoculous he can't keep it forever. Not much to comment on other than Medic is still rather dismissive of his procedures perhaps causing others genuine distress. Also, him just doing random things for no reason, like scooping out part of Demo's brain because he just got exhausted of hearing Demo ask for his eye back. Also implanting a brain into his leg because he just wants to see what happens. What a goofball.

Something to note is how Medic isn't really intimidating at all during these comics. Evil? Sure, but he's not exactly a looming figure who makes you quiver in your boots. He's casual, silly, and just kinda does what he likes to do. It makes me think about all the art of him with his hands clasped behind his back and with a creepy and unsettling expression. Looking at how Medic is shown in the MtM video and comics? He's...not really like that.

Then, Cheavy reappears. Something to note is that Cheavy doesn't call Medic by his name (or title I should say), but rather by nicknames (and slurs). Frankenstein is his most common one. Medic wouldn't like that.

Again, headcanons, but I think Medic and Cheavy bumped heads a lot considering how hostile Cheavy is to Medic. Because of this, Medic would despise Cheavy more than anything. What's worse than an annoying nagging beast of a person is one that won't even acknowledge his greatness and sees him as little more than a pest that Gray brought on cause they needed a Medic.

So, Medic attacks Cheavy. He reaches for his bonesaw, slashes him across the face before stabbing him in the abdomen. Revenge for killing Archimedes. But, Cheavy survives, reefing the blade out of him and then going out for blood. They both fight before Heavy interrupts.

Blah blah nothing too notable. Medic is a little bit of a sopping wet cat here. He's scared of Cheavy. By all means, he was previously being choked out by him, but c'mon Medic get your shit together bite his ankles. (/j /lh)

Heavy for?? Some reason throws aside Sasha because Cheavy wanted a "good death"?? I know it's coinvent for the plot since it gets Sasha out of the way so that Cheavy can kill Medic and piss off Heavy even more, but still. Maybe I need to do another analysis piece for Heavy to see if he's the type of guy to care about this, but I doubt I could drag it out nearly as long as this.

Regardless, Medic is shot and killed. He's then sent to hell. YAY!!!

FINALLY back to some interesting new Medic characterization. Medic has made a deal with the devil. What for? We don't know. Whatever works best for your fanfic. It doesn't matter what he sold his soul for in this scene though, as Medic is now damned to hell for everything. Oh no!

Until...a loophole. He reads the fine print and points out that the contract says that his soul is only owed to the devil if they own the majority stake in it. Well, Medic just so happened to have grafted eight more souls into him. 100% from the other mercs as he confirms later on, but again, he's just like that.

So Medic has zero qualms about stealing the souls of his teammates. Pretty much in line with what we know about him thus far.

He convinces the devil to sell another one of his souls so that he can go back to earth. In exchange? One of the pens on his table. He acts all surprised and shocked when the devil accepts, clearly revelling in his victory, before then being brought back to life.

If I may break away from the analysis for a bit and go into rambling: I do think Medic should've been slightly more unhinged here. By slightly I mean feral beast of a man, but y'know. Headcanons that alter and shape the way I see him, so I look at this scene and go: "He would NOT be that normal after tricking the devil and seeing the man who killed him" but it is what it is.

Then, the scene we all know and love. Medic toots his horn a little bit as he monologues about planting the uteruses into Cheavy, having him believe that the pen will activate the birthing process and three baboons will explode out of him. Again, he's enjoying himself. He likes seeing Cheavy being scared and afraid.

But, it's all a ploy, and Heavy tears the life-extending machine out of Cheavy. Heavy and Medic reunite, Medic finds the actual inductor and grabs his new baboon child, and...yeah that's the end of the comics. Uneventful, eh?

Conclusion

So, what a character, huh? I like him a little, can't you tell? Props if you actually managed to sit through this mess of an essay. It's mostly just for personal use and reference anyway. Writing about a character and taking notes helps me learn, and I just wanted to try doing something proper, y'know? I've only been writing about Medic for over a year now.

He's a bit of a mixed bag of traits and characterization. You can probably grab the parts that make up the core of his personality plus a couple other traits and then probably shape it into a rough form of who Medic is. It's how I think I write about him, to be honest.

The way to write Medic I feel is just trying to make sense of all of these little bits of character tossed at you, cause, yeah, you call say all these things, but how do you make it work? How do you make a character out of it? How do you rationalize all of these things being possible all at once?

Honestly? It's through trial and error. Soon enough you'll figure it out. Just keep in mind of what his character is. Look at his dialogue and thought process. Would he fucking say that? Would he fucking say it differently? So on and so forth.

Everyone can interpret him differently. Some may look at the things I say and will rebuttal that I'm giving him too much credit. Perhaps he's lying about certain things and is just manipulating them all. That's fair. It's perfectly valid.

Medic is a comedic character first and foremost. Everything he says and does is meant to be funny. It's just that diseased fanfic writers like me have to overanalyze everything cause we're writing gay yaoi melodrama about murderers. A character who just constantly lies and manipulates I find isn't one I really want to make a protagonist out of, so I don't do it.

So, how do I write him? Well...

I take the aspects that I find most central to him. There's a lot, but I'll list the ones most imporant. His eccentricity is a core part of my enjoyment of him, so I cram it into him as much as physically possible. He's a giggly madman who unabashedly does what he likes to do. Him being apathetic to ethics as well is vital. He clearly does not give two shits about whether or not any of this is legal or moral. He does what he wants to do.

His ego is another big part. He loves attention and he loves being with people who think of him as some smart, grand guy. He's got a complex and has a constant need for others to validate him. If anybody tries taking him down a couple pegs, he lashes out.

That's another thing as well: his emotions. I think Medic wears his emotions on his sleeve and doesn't care to hide them. He's blunt, says exactly what he means regardless if it's nice or not, and generally could not care less over what is socially appropriate. If he doesn't care about a person, he won't make a single effort to even pretend to be interested in what they're saying. If he's excited, he'll laugh and make it known to everyone just how happy he is. Blah blah blah, you get it.

His mood swings and constantly shifting attitude is another thing too. All six of his emotions (neutral, afraid, happy, irritated, unbridled mania, overwhelming hatred and anger). It's easy for him to shift between them very rapidly and whatnot. All that sorta stuff.

The original characterization and voice lines I believe still hold water. I personally like interpreting them as coming from a place of genuine frustration that he only has when fighting. He's an emotional person who snaps and yells and gets annoyed and agitated very easily. His mood fluctuates between mania and seething hatred when fighting. I think it's as to be expected. He's on a battlefield. If you like respawn machine stuff, then it's implied that he's died numerous times and is completely sick of it, lashing out at his teammates for not protecting him.

There's several more aspects of Medic's character to which I write about in my own works, namely him being neurotic about constantly being in control, him being outwardly hostile to people he doesn't know and more close and caring to ones that he likes, and him generally being a lot more fond of his own team than he'd like to admit, but that's all sorta fanon stuff. Only I really care that much about it.

With that being said, Medic is one of the characters ever. Truth be told, this would've been less infuriating to write than, say, a Soldier analysis piece. Writing about my silly goofy middle-aged murderer is nice sometimes.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to stop procrastinating and get back to my fics.

#tf2 #sp-rambles #tf2 medic #I would genuinely be shocked if somebody read this affront to mankind

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subparcarrion · 2 months

Text

CW//TW: kinda vent, discussion of tics and tic attacks (and some of the aftermath for me), discussion of high stress and anxiety situations, cussing/cursing, discussion of physical pain, discussion of pills.

(ACTUAL POST UNDER CUT.)

So... yeah,,,

Tic attacks, gonna have to go with ☆☆☆☆☆/★★★★★ (0/5). Especially at close to four in the morning at a sleepover.

Not really sure why I'm deciding to put it out on the internet, but I guess I wanna talk about it or smth. And with March break and my crippling social anxiety the closest I've come to talking about it irl is a quick "that was kinda traumatic ngl" to a close friend over text.

In retrospect it makes sense, it's the most stressed I've been in a while now paired with a lot of just having to be constantly "on" and feeling scared to say no.

For context I did a pseudo babysitting job for a family friend from around mid afternoon to nearly midnight. I then decided to go a sleepover with my friends late since they had been kind enough to move the date so I could attend. (Probably not the best idea for the future who has a bad anxiety disorder and probably a lot of other stuff, but when have I ever said no.)

The job itself was pretty stressful but the kid and her mom's are super nice and did their best to accommodate me, so that was really nice. (They also paid me really well when I would have honestly done if for free so I'm not gonna complain. Anything bad was kinda just unavoidable considering it was me who was doing the job.)

Im also not really gonna bitch about the sleepover too much, my friends are lovely, the timing just made things rough.

Since I was arriving so late we hung out for like an hour and then went to bed (at least tried to go to bed), a lot of tha time was just kinda spent getting ready for bed though. There's nothing wrong with that, I just ended up feeling a little like I had missed out on the best part of stuff. (Again, no one else's fault.)

Everyone else fell asleep pretty quick, however I was not tired at all. It wasn't unexpected though, going from one high stress situation to another doesn't really let you let your guard down. Let alone feel properly sleepy.

So I just kinda did some stuff on my phone for thirty minutes to see if I would get tired and then decided to finally turn in for the night still very much all to aware of everything.

At this point it's probably important to mention that everyone in my froend group has at least a passing interest in a game called "The Stanley Parable". And if you didn't know you can go into an elevator in that game, and it kinda just plays this goofy elevator music in loup until you leave.

It is thus tradition in my friend group to play the elevator music while we fall asleep at any and all sleepovers where it is possible and everyone is chill with it.

The elevator is kinda some basic lyricless pop-ish kinda techno song where you can occasionally, if you listen closely enough hear the narrator hum along with the tune. The song itself is a certified banger, but I was stressed as fuck and hyperaware of everything. It was safe to say it was driving me crazy, especially the humming part.

I didn't really have any means to turn it off though and I would feel bad doing it. After all, I had agreed to it any it would be distruptful to try since it was super late and the room was pretty packed. To move around too much would probably wake someone up. (Wow, foreshadowing or smth.)

I never really got to sleep and it was around late three in the morning, nearly four when shit really started to hit the fan.

(Another bout of context before I continue: so I've had what I'm just calling tics at this point for about a year now, maybe a bit longer. At least that's when they started getting really noticeable and causing real problems for me. Personally for me it's mostly motor ticks that get much worse in stressful situations. Stressful situations being an iffy description that could cover pretty much anything on acount of the anxiety disorder. Albeit over time it has developed into mostly motor ticks with occasional verbal ones.

I can have periods where they are happening very few times a day and then ones where they are happening several times a minute, either way they never really go away. I had been doing pretty good tick wise before this whole ordeal, now it's definitely leaning towards the worse, more disruptive and painful side.)

It started off with a ciuple of my usual motor tics, getting more and more aggressive very quickly. For the most part these would consist of things like my shoulders jumping up and hitting the vase of my head and neck or my hands doing weird shit.

By the time the verbal tics started the motor tics were so aggressive and frequent they were getting pretty painful. This would be the same time I would start making small squeaks as a verbal tick.

It became pretty clear after that this wasn't stopping any time soon so I sat up and used my pillow to cover my mouth in hopes to muffle the noise so I wouldn't wake anyone.

This was the point where something changed and my tics got the worst they'd ever been. It went from squeaks to small screams and loud grunts. And I was just sitting there in pain scared out of my mind for nearly and hour before the noise finally woke up my friends. Cuz despite all my effort a pillow can't hide constant screaming for very long.

When my friends woke up they were reasonably concerned, they knew I had tics that could occasionally get kinda bad but this was the worst it had been, and I could barely explain through the ticks that it had been going on for about an hour. There was definitely no way I was calming them down, and in all fairness I was freaking out too and they handled the whole shitshow remarkably well.

They probably spent twenty minutes or more trying to calm me down or help, but nothing was working, in fact it might have been getting worse. One of my friends also tried Google-ing it, but Google pretty much said drug him or ignore them were feasible options for yours truly, the little bitch boy.

My friend eventually got their mom and I regained enough control to pack my shit and got driven home. I downed as much sleeping and pain meds as I was allowed to take and continued ticking until I passed out.

Idk,,, not a particularly entertaining story, ig I just wanted to get it out somewhere.

As for me right now, it's been two days and I can't go five minutes without some sort of tic at most.

However, I'm feeling somewhat better, even if my neck hurts like shit.

I suppose that's all, thanks for listening to me bitch and moan tumblr. <33 /p

-carrion_

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pinkhairandpokemon · 1 year

Text

Introduction Post

————

I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME!

hiya! name's Blake. you might recognize me, you might not. rotomblr is confusing with all the multiverse stuff. basically, I'm an ex-champion who's kinda just doing my own thing now. saved the world a few times. met a few gods. y'know, the usual. I even died once! technically. oh, and I’m a university student at Blueberry Academy! mostly here to post about my Pokémon- but my friends Hop and Auberi have access to this blog too, so you might see them on here occasionally.

also!! I have a wonderful partner here’s his blog: @thunderblessedhero I love him sm

that's pretty much all you need to know, I think! signing out!

-Blake

———

Auberi Bellerose- 21, they/them, demisexual/greyromantic

Hop Laventon- 20, he/him, asexual/biromantic

Blake- 20, they/them, pansexual/demiromantic

————

Current Arc: N/A

OOC: hi! I’m Wren and uHhh this is my first pkmn RP blog. Originally I was gonna make an Eternatus one but I thought it’d be more fun to make one for my OC,, but I might still make the Eternatus one if this one goes well. my main pkmn blog is @xgoldenlatiasx (but i like and follow from @/flightmare-kid)

(update: prolly not gonna make the Eternatus blog lol. for right now at least. I have enough blogs as it is now)

also: in-character mean interactions are welcome. beat their ass

other rp blogs: @thunderblessedhero @partnersintime @scarlet-rider @pokehorsegirl @bisharpenjoyer @dragontamerhiccup @coolguyhilbert @keldeochamp1on @weirdcelebi @sapphireseafarer @justanothercastelian

Warnings: things won’t get TOO extremely dark or serious on this blog for now, there will be a lot of swearing though. Also all the characters are around 19-20, there won’t ever be anything explicit but they’ll probably make stupid dick jokes at worst. Specifically Blake and probably Auberi sometimes. I’ll tag stuff like that as #tw nsfw joke and/or #tw suggestive.

Info about my OC:

basically Blake is my protag in several pkmn games, specifically SW/SH, X/Y, and B/W! the timeline of those games’ stories are in that specific order in my OCverse. (Pretty much any semblance of a canon timeline in the games is destroyed in my OCverse, except for any games w/ sequels like Gen1/Gen2 or BW/BW2. I’ll probably put together a proper timeline eventually, but essentially it’s just in the order I played all the games. Rn that order is FRLG -> HGSS -> SM -> ORAS -> SWSH -> XY -> DPPT/BDSP -> BW -> PLA -> SV -> BW2)

Bio: Blake was born in Nuvema Town, where they lived until they were around seven before moving to Aspertia City. They lived there until they were about thirteen, before moving to Postwick in the Galar region with their mother. There, they met one of their best friends, Hop. At the time, Blake was super closed off and shy, as their social anxiety made making friends difficult. The only one they’ve ever really let their guard down with was Hop. Watching Leon’s matches on TV with Hop was what inspired them to become a trainer, though for many years they didn’t actually think it’d be possible for them- considering they came from a family who didn’t really like Pokemon, therefore they had nowhere near as much experience with them like Hop did. They feared their social anxiety would get in the way, too.

Once they were 16, they unexpectedly got their first Pokemon from Leon- a Sobble named Kappa. After getting endorsed by Leon and some encouragement from Hop, they agreed to sign up for the Gym Challenge. They had a rocky start- losing battles pretty frequently was putting a huge dent in their already low self-esteem, and it was impacting Kappa as well. But over time they learned the ropes of being a trainer and was quickly becoming a rising star amongst the Gym Challengers. They went on to stop the Darkest Day along with Hop, catch Eternatus, become champion, and earn the trust of Zacian.

During their reign as champion, they trained at the Isle of Armor and explored the Crown Tundra. These small adventures slowly helped them realize just how much pressure their title was putting on them- and finally caused them to slip up during the final match of the next year’s Gym Challenge.

After losing their title, they decided to look for a new path- which lead them to Kalos, where they helped in putting a stop to Team Flare’s plan and caught Yveltal, and eventually back to Unova, where they fought against Team Plasma alongside Reshiram. Following the defeat of Plasma, they’ve enrolled as a college student at Blueberry Academy- and have done quite a lot in the past two years, such as visiting the Paldea region and catching more Pokémon. Now, they’ve returned to Unova, and are resting after having helped in the fight against Kyurem.

Blake is also the main character in my comics, Adventures in Kalos (on my instagram @/xgolden_latiasx) and Unova Fates (on Tumblr, insta, and webtoon). This blog will probably contain spoilers for those comics!

More rules/info/explanations/etc.:

All three of these characters are friends with multiple legendaries, so if they seem overpowered to you… sorry? I’m just having fun over here. They don’t really use any of them for battle that often, though they might threaten to sic their legendary on someone as a joke (but they won’t actually). But as of right now the only legendary that’s actively with the group is Reshiram, he’s the only one who’ll get involved in whatever shenanigans/event the gang finds themselves in. (Unless I’m participating in an event from another person and they say they don’t want Reshiram involved.)

I’m relatively willing to join in on high stakes stuff as long as I feel up to it, but please ask me first if you want one of my characters to actively participate somehow.

Also, this blog runs with the idea that Rotomblr is a weird site that links other universes together. So for example say if… Kalos is blowing up or something on another person’s blog and someone tries to get Auberi involved, I’m just going to say it’s happening in a different universe. Or if a different SWSH/XY/BW/PLA protag character tries to interact.

Please also understand that I have realllllly bad social anxiety and awkwardness. I apologize if it takes me a while to respond to something, or if my replies seem short and uninterested (I promise I’m interested in the conversation I’m just bad at words). Or long and ramble-y. Please tell me to shut the fuck up if you need me to.

Past arcs/plot lines:

#Storyline: Haunting Regrets (Explanation of Auberi’s past)

#Story Event: The Calm Before The Storm (Set up for a future arc)

#Story Arc: The Press Conference (This arc was discontinued, but I didn’t really feel like going back and deleting all the tags so it IS still canon but nothing important happened.)

#Typing Through Time (Mini event where a pair of mysterious siblings, supposedly from the future, take over the blog to document their search for a special Celebi.)

#Interlude Arc (BW2 event.)

#PB Takeover (Takeover of a version of Blake that joined Team Plasma.)

List of everyone’s Pokémon (will probs be updated frequently):

Blake:

-Kappa (M Inteleon)

-Go-Go (F Coalossal)

-Venom (M Toxtricity)

-Charlie (M Boltund)

-Jeanne (F Corviknight)

-Lancelot (M Sirfetch’d)

-Athena (F Urshifu)

-Tulip (F Venusaur)

-Lizzie (F Charizard)

-Tater (F Flapple)

-Potato (M Galarian Slowpoke)

-Audun (M Flygon)

-Zuzu (F Dragapult)

-Azi (F Dreepy)

-Shiverbolt (Arctozolt)

-Alto (M Grookey)

-Oran (M Munchlax)

-Fwoofy (Cosmog)

-Stormy (M Sobble)

-Dewdrop (M Sobble)

-Nessa Jr. (F Sobble)

-Bubble (M Sobble)

-Neptune (F Sobble)

-Zacian

-Eternatus

-Red (M Delphox)

-Stardust (M Meowstic)

-Ryu (M Lucario)

-Flick (F Vivillon)

-Verde (M Venusaur)

-Basil (M Sylveon)

-Granite (M Tyrantrum)

-Snooze (M Snorlax)

-Yveltal

-King (F Serperior)

-Cordelia (F Simipour)

-Beau (M Swoobat)

-Lumiere (F Chandelure)

-Kilobyte (M Eelektross)

-Phaedra (F Krookodile)

-Toothless (M Deino)

-Scylla (F Druddigon)

-Stormchase (F Swellow)

-Larkspur (M Venipede)

-Reshiram

-Cheezit (F Pawmot)

-Tiny (M Braviary)

-Salad (F Floragato)

-Cranberry (F Flareon)

-Pecha (F Grookey X Fomantis hybrid)

-Dart (F Cyclizar)

-Mantis (F Slither Wing)

-Hermes (M Corvisquire x Galarian Zapdos hybrid)

-Odin (M Corvisquire x Galarian Articuno hybrid)

-Vulcan (F Corvisquire x Galarian Moltres hybrid)

-Spark (M Galvantula ✨)

-VIOLENCE (F Scream Tail)

-Galahad (M Skarmory)

-Snart (F UD Archen)

-Titanium (F Revaroom)

-Goober (M Scovillain)

-Banana (F Latias ✨)

Hop:

-Cloudy (M Dubwool)

-Flint (M Cinderace)

-Percival (M Corviknight)

-Rumble (M Snorlax)

-Needle (F Pinchurin)

-Jasper (M Silicobra)

-Thor (F Boltund)

-Whisperwood (F Trevenant)

-Summer (F Heatmor)

-Watts (M Toxel)

-Crest (M Cramorant)

-Zamazenta

-Galarian Zapdos

-Mango (F Squawkabilly)

-Arlo (M Quaxly)

-Deedee (F Gardevoir x Whimsicott hybrid)

-Carrot (M Tatsugiri)

-Lumi (F Joltik)

-Koda (M Inteleon)

-Dusk (M Mightyena)

-Flurry (F Cetitan)

Auberi:

-Korrin (M Greninja)

-Calypso (F Meowstic)

-Blaise (M Charizard)

-Glacé (F Aurorus)

-Cantrelle (F Noivern)

-Reaper (F Absol)

-Estelle (F Flareon)

-Sunrise (F Talonflame)

-Chester (M Chespin)

-Ignis (M Hisuian Typhlosion)

-Blanche (F Hisuian Zoroark)

-Aries (M Paldean Tauros, Blaze Breed)

-Spitfire (M Skeledirge)

-Anne Bonny (F Kilowattrel ✨)

-Voltaire (M Joltik)

-Fondue (F Fidough)

-Arceus

-Rouge (M Hisuian Zorua)

-Anastasie (F Hisuian Zorua ✨)

(A note: These aren’t necessarily all Pokémon that are registered to them. Most of the legendaries, for example, are just ‘mons they’re able to call upon or are associated with)

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seakrisp · 1 year

Text

Wednesday spoilers: even though what ill say has been said already but I need to finally let it out.

again these are just some of my personal thoughts and what I think!

I'm so happy alot of ppl agrees the the "two main possible male lOvE IntERest" had little to no chemistry with her.

but first,

I'll start with everything I like:

I love everything in the show except the "love triangel romance/ romance in general" that they pushed unto Wednesday. it doesn't rlly add anything. Tyler would have had more impact if he had been a platonic trustworthy friend.

i love the Christina ricci's character was the real villain. that's a really nice bow on everything.

I love we actually saw alot of The Addams Family Dynamic in the show! like in this rendition and universe ykyk. Also always great to have more Gomez and Tish and they're relations with the town and Nevermore.

ofc how could I forget, Jenna Ortega's performance was phenomenal. I really did like the casting.

ofc wendays and enid's dynamic was everything I expected and more. everything about them I loved.

I hope we get to see more bianca bcs I'm curious to her and wendays more chilled rivalry/frenemies dynamic will be like. now that bianca don't really give a shit about xiaver. (hopefully. yall are too good for that boy. that boy needs therapy.)

Enid is literally a Walking Queer Allegory. I said what I said.

wenday and Thing are everything to me. we day's friendship with Eugene to me as well.

oke. now my complainly part/things j wished that happened instead and parts that made me say "that could've been written, chosen better.."

I've TRIED to be unbiased while watching, mostly in the "romance aspect". and I think they should've really just focused on its being about Platonic relationships yk.. they like, they didn't even have a ball to drop Yk. Like you expect Me to believe these wet limp dick white boys are gonna be.. WEDNESDAY ADDAMS 'S.. Potential.. love interest..?? youre joking.

the most annoying part about this was both Xiaver and Tyler were so... fucking entitled. like, WOW. a Girl wasn't mean to you and spoke to you with very basic surface level human decency!

Xiaver, just has a Resting Bitch Face. He didn't do anything wrong but like he's still shithead. And was annoying. (to me)

Tyler, I really wanted him to be the MLM Best Friend :(

but nay, I was wronged ofc. Tyler at first didn't really bother me as much. first few episodes, HE'S JUST SOME WHITE GUY. then it progresses He Annoys Me With a Burning Passion.

especially, That's ONE SCENE. THE "YOU'RE GIVING ME MIXED SIGNALS WEDNESDAY WHERE DO I STAND@!?#?#!@????" OH PIPE DOWN YOU ONLY GOT UR DATE IDEA BCS ENID DID THAT BIRTHDAY PARTY.

my thoughts were like: there's no way. Wednesday liked this boy. she's be manipulated and gaslit.

And yeah Last few Episodes I was correct. it gave me more reason to hate Tyler's ass and I think he should've been brutally murder yk.

I love hunter doohan's performance though, thanks for taking one for the team King <3 He played the bland straight white boy monstour murder.

Now, Enid and Ajax. they were fine.. Ajax is the basic textbook goofy, nice guy who does weed, that just has madusa snake hair—

and omg I laughed so hard when he stoned himselfed like that, it's so perfect and stupid that a teenager with that ability would have the happen to them. it was so fucking funny to me.—

they're relationship is so shallow and mid to me idk. I mean, they do act like a typical teenage het couple.

it's just that, Enid liking a boy who she barely talks obsessesing over him but then also when she got stood up by him. Enid started liking another boy that she just talked to sharing same interests but mostly again just very bare minimum.

I'm not saying she's a shallow person, more say.. yk just a subconsciously finding and filling that, " you have to have a nice boyfriend bcs that's how the world is supposed to be " box...

in short yk, compulsory hetero normativity.

like cmon.. WHAT DO YOU MEAN UR MOM WANTS YOU TO GO TO "CONVERSION CAMP" ? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU WANTED HER TO ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOLFED OUT JUST IN TIME YOU WANTED TO SAVE WEDNESDAY? what do you mean you didn't run into ur bf's after something traumatic but instead run into ur roommates to give her a hug like she'll never let go?

yeah. basically most of my complaints are in the romance. it's Criminally hetero. and I've dealt with alot of hetero relationships endgame media that would have made more sense and thematical it was queer.. augh. I'm gonna watch warrior nun.

I genuinely hope they were very intentional with writing Enid and Wednesday literally the only one with romantic tension and queer subtext..

like, cmon. Wenclair has paralleled Gomez and Tish so much in this show. be for fucking real.

okay that's it. most of what I've said has been said. last thing I wanna say is thank you for your time and effort to read this and.. Wednesday is both queer coded and autism coded.

#seajjae rambles #rant #thoughts and headcanons #netflix wednesday #Wednesday addams #THE ROMANCE IN THIS SHOW GIVE ME THE SAME PAIN AS I GET FROM WATCHING WICKED THE MUSICAL I SHIT YOU NOT!!!#the kiss scenes was so horribly hard for me to watch. usually in neutral face but in general kiss scenes are pre difficult for me to watcg #no matter if it's queer or het #but the kiss scenes here then me already being tired of all the lame heteroshit that's happening made me snap #anyway I loved the show even though I shit on the romance so much #this is like stranger things but I don't love stranger things but I enjoy watching it #but its also rlly bad romance #unless they planned this and are actually setting up for wenclair maybe hopefully a girl can dream #I'm done #finally got that out of my system

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z0nic · 1 year

Note

OKAY regarding your Archie survey it is EXACTLY what I thought as well. I love surveys. People who started out with Archie either as their first Sonic media OR at a very young age like it. People who read it later in life tend not to. Archie is very different from the games, and focuses mostly on teen relationships (And also saving the world). You probably already know what I'm going to say but I want to say it anyways because I love analyzing and reading into things. Archie can be like a shock of cold water to people who only played the games (Which is most of the fanbase) and even most of the shows too. Along with the fact that it focuses mostly on teenagers and their complex relationships, this means it isn't relatable to adult fans (Who are reading it for the first time). Seeing teen squabbles and drama can even be bothersome! Being a teenager SUCKS and I don't think most people don't want to be reminded how messy and tough it was. The writing also is niche. It gets BAD but it's also super good in places, along with all the Lore can make it a very unique reading experience (If you aren't a comic fan). The bitter parts can be very off-putting (IGNORING like, the bigotry) and when you're an adult, certain plots or character moments can seem more out there. As in, you may notice that Sonic can be an absolute shit, but he also constantly saves everyone from Eggman (Robotnik I SEE YOU MONKEY KHAN). This could bring up a cool plot element of how his behaviour affects his friends, and their complicated feelings on him. Such as that arc where Sonic is a bitch ass motherfucker to Tails. It would've been cool to see a moment where Tails questions why he sticks around Sonic. Yes he apologized but what he did was awful, but also he SAVES THE WORLD he can't be that bad. The way he can be a shit to his close friends but does such great selfless acts... Going back to how teens would relate more to the story, having a character rationalize complex feelings in a friendship could help teens reading it rationalize their own complex friendship. If someone is really nice but does some awful things to you, this is a part of being human, but do you want to stay friends with them? Do the pros outweigh the cons? I don't remember seeing any of this though. Sonic's actions affect the people around him drastically, but I don't think any reflection of Sonic's friends ever happen. That would've been SO cool and a great way to add complexity to both Sonic and his friends while talking about things teens may encounter. (Ignore if this does actually happen.) Anyways I love analyzing Archie Sonic it's a wonderful part of Sonic history. Like yeah I don't particularly like most of the characterizations but that's what makes it so unique and so much fun to read into. Like you can't get this Sonic shit anywhere else. I bet I would've fucking LOVED Archie Sonic if it was my first intro to Sonic and I was a teen again.

No yeah if you're a comic Booker then you WILL like archie. Jts comic bookie. And as for your analysis on teen friendships I agree but you need to understand that the freedom fighters were friends when they were like. 3. And then they formed the team out of necessity because they are the only survivors. They're basically family for most, and they're not going to abandon someone just bc hes a dick or whatever. Like yeah they're all flawed but they're never presented as BAD people, just people who make mistakes sometimes

#its like spiderman. you like him and know hes a good guy but damn hes annoying and rude

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

Note

hi - sorry, i wanted to ask a few questions, and i wanted to ask them because a) you have had valuable experience being in fandom and b) you have (and still so) played a role in building fandom. so. i wanted to ask - lately, in my current fandom, there's been this divide, so to speak, between "transformative" and "canon-only" fans. my dilemma is that - how "transformative" is "too transformative" when you try your hand at writing fanfic? 1/2

what prompted this was, in particular, was a tweet that said "[name of fandom] side ships tend to be universally based on desperate wishful thinking being passed off as "transformative fandom" and stealing from the protagonists..." it's a little ironic because a few years back, i didn't think my fics were transformative enough and now i'm worried if i'm canon-compliant enough. i just - are there hard rules to "doing" fandom? are we still allowed to play around, or is that no longer the norm? 2/2

Well, your first mistake was listening to some dumbass on twitter.

It's cute how you're trying to hide what this is about. The full tweet (no, don't go find this asshole to harass them, please) reads:

mxtx side ships tend to be universally based on desperate wishful thinking being passed off as “transformative fandom” + stealing from the protagonists. but this happens in like every fandom nowadays it’s so funny

So basically, “Waaaaaaaaah, other people write fanon nonsense!”

This young moron can fuck right off with that attitude. I only know The Untamed/MDZS, and the side ships are mostly flagrantly improbable fanon or involve the most boring possible ~cinnamon roll~ takes on the characters. So I actually agree with them that MXTX fandoms are pretty fanon-filled, I think.

But fic has always been full of fanon.

Crying about other people’s fanon just makes you look like a bitter loser.

20 years ago, in English, you’d have found more shippers of a juggernaut non-canon ship. Think something like Stucky today. That’s because we didn’t have much access to m/m canons of the type that are likely to generate big fic fandoms. We had indie queer cinema. We didn’t have epic genre fiction with a main m/m couple. So we got fewer of the Canon Police central canon ship fans. Het fandom has always had them.

“Stealing from the protagonists” means “I want all of fandom to focus on my faves, waaaaah”.

It just means you’re a whiny crybaby.

To be fair, they’re responding to a locked account, so we don’t know the exact context. Perhaps they’re just commiserating about some especially ridiculous OOC fic we too would find awful.

OOC, trope-based, porn logic nonsense that has nothing to do with canon may irritate fans who loved canon, but “passed off as transformative fandom” is so unbelievably stupid, that it should tell you all you need to know about this person.

Nothing is being “passed off”. Fanfic modifies canon. Sometimes, it modifies it quite a lot. AUs are a thing. This is what transformative fandom is, young fool!

It’s also pretty funny that people are bitching about MXTX fandoms in this way given that MXTX’s original work is heavily playing with genre tropes. It’s already a remix at heart.

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keeponquinning · 6 months

Text

i'm planning on posting my thoughts on each chapter i read of FLIGHT OF ICARUS because I think it's generally worth talking about, I finished chapter...seven I believe but let me talk about the things before that I didn't. I understand some of ya'll hate this book. That's fine. Just as long as you don't make those that do like the book feel guilty or one inkling of bad about it, it's all good. That's honestly the only thing disheartening about seeing the hate on this book, because I for one had been jazzed about it and it was genuinely bumming me out seeing so much hate for it. So like, idk, be mindful of that? However I will be tagging my posts about it — 📖 — flight of icarus — in case ya'll wanna blacklist, giving your opportunity for that rn. Being as fair as I can about this whole thing. I've never seen such a reaction out of a book like this, it's kinda crazy. we all here for a good time, guys. at least I hope so. I'll also be putting these under a cut, hopefully that works with mobile folks, idk. ANYWAY. Gareth and Chrissy thoughts under the cut as well as everything i've read thus far.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS AHEAD!

first thing's first! let's give a round of applause to caitlin schneiderhan, because she living all our dreams. not only a professional writer and part of the ST writing team, but she got the holy grail of being offered a chance to write about our boy. like pls, i love that. i really don't mind the first person ( which from what i gathered, the other books like Lucas on the Line and Runaway Max, Rebel Robin are done the same? correct if i'm wrong ) but mostly it gives me and readers a chance to really be in our boy's head, read his thoughts and hearing his lovely voice in my head.

And honestly.... and some folks will probably disagree... From what I read so far, and what got me excited the most about this book... the writing really does, to me at least, don't have to agree, it feels very Eddie to me. Right from the scenes of Gareth, Freshman Gareth with the floofy hair and chrome mouth, being upset that his character ( that he didn't even make ) became fish food and Eddie being like, "...then we just make another character" because that boy was so pissed that he got himself, in his mind, kicked out and Eddie being the one like, "...no? After the gutsy move you did, there's no way we're not going forward without you" and taking moments of his time to help him create another character? And the glee Gareth had over it? Come onnn.

and cutting to that, one of the excerpts that came out, creating that character and being patient, as any 18 year old would be, and guiding Gareth to get that spark for the game, in creating a character from scratch, and all in a risky move of basically breaking into an empty classroom that they could have been caught in, just added to it. the fact that this act, seeing Gareth so into it, lifted Eddie's mood after Al came back was....ahhhh.

AND THEN! THEN!

The line that killed me, when Eddie asked him why he wanted to be in Hellfire so bad since he never played D&D and Gareth's answer being, "...where else was I supposed to go?"

OH MY GOD.

THAT FUCKING KILLED ME!!!

The start of Eddie the shepherd, herding his little ship. are you KIDDING.

Which then led to the whole Tommy H, which, fuck this guy. His cronies, including JASON CARVER and Chrissy Cunnigham.

DEEP BREATH.

I do love the talk of Steve, well after the breakup with Tommy and even what, Sophmore?? Jason being like, "Harrington won't like this" BECAUSE JASON IS A BITCH.

But can we appreciate Chrissy just not being for this and tried to PRY TOMMY'S HAND FROM GARETH????

I remember someone made a post, i can't remember who you are! If you remember, let me know! That Chrissy wouldn't have been the cheerleader that would be okay with bullying, i mean, god, her own mother bullied her all her life, and like, to that person, THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE and I feel it was backed up with this.

I'm not a HELLCHEER stan per say, but I will admit, the thought is cute and there was def potential in my eyes but also like... I don't have an actual ship in this show, just like... I could see it and leave it at that lmao. And I'm not bothered by the thought of Eddie having a crush on her. It's clear if he did, it wasn't so much on the rising "queen of hawkins high" but rather the girl at the middle school talent show that, when he said his dad wasn't there, instead of making him feel bad about, little chrissy just went, "Wow, I wish my mom wasn't here!"

LIKE?

LIKE???

And even said she'd cheer for him when he played, like come on. whatever we feel about chrissy, i stand she was not a horrible person, and if she lived, probably an amazing person to see.

Fuck you, Vecna.

I do love that even when Higgins rolled up, she was like, "THAT BITCH IS LYING!" when Tommy tried to make it like Eddie was the aggressor. Because --

TOMMY H IS A BITCH THAT SHOULD GET PUNCHED OUT, WHEN WILL I SEE THAT.

But anyway.

I covered not as much, but Higgins is a bitch. Most of these adults need a slap. I so felt for Eddie, constantly being marked by his last name, by his dad. This grown man calling this 18 year old a felon even though he's never been arrested. I mean???

but can we appreciate that nothing got under his skin as bad as when Higgins essentially was like, he's a rotten apple, infecting everyone around him. Like Gareth? Like the only reason he was targeted bc he was in Hellfire?? Under EDDIE'S association???

I wanna hug him.

Let's roll back though. Since we done the Gareth and Chrissy bits.

Al.

AL.

I hate him lmao. So the new thing that came to life was, Eddie didn't live in wayne's trailer all his life, but it seems was in a constant yo-yo kinda of living between the house and wayne's trailer, especially when he was younger and Al would take off. It would make sense, as he got older, being more insistent on staying home and Wayne doing the grocery shopping( of spaghetti-o's and microwave meals! oh, wayne ) every two weeks and keeping an eye on him.

Bless anyone, again, i can't remember WHO that fancasted skeet ulrich as Al because i can so see it

this man screams — munson magic, no??

Also, Eddie saying he doesnt' have said Munson Magic? False, sir. You most definitely do. We've all fallen for it, hook, line and sinker.

also, I do love the complicated mess that is their relationship. The sight of his boots sending Eddie in a whirlwind, a near panic attack at having to see him again, but also even craving his attention. The fact that Al is inviting Eddie into one of his schemes has him conflicted because, "he never came for me, he could have asked his friends, but he came to me" like... my boy. Can someone hug him?? It's very realistic to have this complicated relationship, as those that do have those types of parental relationships could attest. I def could. ( neither of my parents were felons and doing schemes but def emotionally distant so :))) )

I craved for some wayne x eddie moments, and in part, i do, though with wayne it feels like he's def holding back. it seems to be of his nature, which I can buy, tho still offering Eddie a place in his trailer if he needs it. I feel like by the end of the book, this could change, i feel a def shakeup is gonna happen with Al and Eddie as he seemed dead set against his dad in s4. do not correct me if I'm wrong as I wanna find that out myself!

I love Ronnie.

I love that Caitlin gave Eddie a childhood bestfriend, though the angst of Ronnie having a chance out of Hawkins and Eddie feeling left behind but still happy for her. At least to her face. Another aspect that feels like him, not giving her shit about it, wanting the best.

I also loved the part where young eddie thinking she was his girlfriend and the disastrous first kiss that had him running away lmaoo like god. what a little goof. I love him.

another controversial take. I ACTUALLY LOVE THAT HE ISN'T A VIRGIN.

Listen

LISTEN !!!

This boy is gonna die in a horrific way.

I'm glad he didn't do so as a virgin, I'm glad he got to FUCK, he DESERVED TO HAVE HIS DICK WET OKAY. I'm glad. I'm happy for him. GO YOU, EDDIE MUNSON.

What made me sad though was the two girls he mentioned, it seemed they dared themselves to be with him, wanting a taste of the freak — which i mean....

I mean....

Fuck, don't we all...?

Wanting to find out if he a freak in the sheets as well in the streets -shot-

And ah yes, Paige....

I don't mind Paige so far. She like us, wanting a piece of Eddie, I can't fault her for that. When I found out there was a romance plot, or, well, most likely not true romance, I didn't mind, because I def wanted to see how this boy handles someone that wants him. The part where she made him feel like a person, or rather, liking him for himself was.... ouch, my precious boy. he would be so flustered around us, i swear to god

I do love that we get bits of the Hideout and Corroded Coffin.

And I'm gonna take a pause because like.... I love the set up that to get stage time, Eddie working as a barback there and like........ can we appreciate that.

Can we picture Eddie running around, hair tied up, sweating, maybe wearing a white shirt... Jeans.... Going from table to table, wiping it down...them forearms, twisting that slutty little waist for whatever reason, you're at the bar, having a drink, and he gives a smile...........

Anyway.

I always wondered if Corroded Coffin wrote their own songs.... AND THEY DO. The only downside I really wished it was the Corroded Coffin we know. I love Ronnie but I'm like WHO IS DOUGIE?? It makes sense, it's two years prior, but at least we have Jeff and hail the 80s where they don't really give a fuck if a minor is drinking at a bar lmaoo but i love he's nervous about it. Shroud Fire sounds metal af i wish we could hear it.

but all this leading to Paige. And her freckles. I love that Eddie, and even he himself calling it very Caveman like, that his mind went, freckles. This man has the Munson Magic bc he is a dork but he could get with ANY ONE OF US. He has no play, his brain would short circuit, BUT WE WOULD BE SO INTO THAT.

I don't know of Paige's intention, but I feel for her struggles at her job, getting the dream job but still having to try and claw your way to the top and it being difficult bc not taken seriously.

She def after Eddie. I cannot blame her.

Which lead to the recent chapter where he goes to her and is like PLEASE SIGN US. Her taking a chance because she needs a big break as well.... I like that.

But I def laughed when she was like, "God, you just want to get to Dave and I thought--" we know what you thought and you so real for it, Paige. i'm just gonna chant MUNSON MAGIC okay. it is part of my vocabulary now. that is what got us all.

THE MUNSON MAGIC.

So far, I do like it. I feel it's a really easy read. Will I take it as canon? Idk. Maybe. Or at least take parts of it as canon, aka the things I like, which seems to be the majority of it so far. I'm not a novice at books tied to shows I watch, or movies even. I was heavily into the star wars books that turned to not be canon ( rip, mara jade skywalker ) but it doesn't take away my enjoyment of it. Enriches it, if anything. I think that's the most important thing.

That's it for now. enjoy my ranting!

#📖 — flight of icarus #yve's rambling again oops #flight of icarus

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bougiebutchbitch · 2 years

Note

Hey I saw your post about anon haters and I agree. I've had some awful comments lately on one of my alternate blogs for a relatively small unknown fandom. Do you have any tips on dealing with this sort of thing?

Oh gosh nonnie - first off I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that. I say this to everyone who gets anon hate, but just... please know that they're useless pathetic cowards lmao.

By dint of being Loud And AnnoyingTM, I collect some anon hate from pretty much every fandom I’m in. It's easy to start wondering if the problem is you, until you realise you're literally just yelling happily about what you love on your blog.

If people don't like it, all they have to do is block and blacklist you and move on. There is never any excuse for harrassment.

Thankfully, as a result, I've developed a pretty solid way of handling anon hate!

Disclaimer: it goes without saying that there is no 'wrong' or 'right' way to deal with anon hate. It's horrible, and the victim is never at fault. The below is just some observations from having been on the internet and fielding this stuff since I was eleven (so, over a decade).

My heart goes out to you, and to everyone who's receiving anon hate. You deserve better.

First up, there are several different sorts of anon hate. Here are some of the common ones:

1. Basic trolling. Nasty messages that are just looking for engagement.

Solution: Just block it. Don't feed them. Laugh about it in your groupchat. Mock them mercilessly to your friends, but give them no public exposure.

2. Attempts to trigger. These are the cruellest: when people send you deliberately triggering content.

Solution: Blocking often doesn't work. A lot of these cunts use VPNs, because their sole purpose in life is to harass others, and they've figured out how to do it. Ignoring them doesn't work. They will just keep coming to your inbox and filling it with incredibly triggering stuff, because again, this is where they get off. Some of this stuff is very hard to even share and mock with your friends, because it's SO graphic and disgusting. If you're being targeted by a wanker like this, it's honestly best to turn off anon for at least a month.

I've tried to wait them out before while leaving anon on - for literally a year in one particularly pernicious case - and I got gross graphic triggering content in my inbox every fortnight or so despite me NEVER interacting or engaging.

So, just turn anon off. It's not worth it.

If they start making fake blogs to send you hate, report and block. If it gets too bad, turn off asks altogether. Again, it’s just not worth it.

3. People who are polite, but want you to change how you run your blog for literally no good reason except 'I am uncomfortable when you do not conform to my preferences'.

Solution: These are the most benign, but also the most annoying, lmao. I usually answer the first message I receive from people like this, mostly to mock them, because like... who does this rather than just unfollowing???? But if they keep trying to make it an argument when they're the ones coming into my online space and trying to make me change, rather than just... taking the very easy available measures to avoid me, I block 'em without warning or remorse.

Bye bitch.

I will say that one fun thing to do with this sort of person is to get one of your mates to send in another anon PRAISING you for EXACTLY what the anon is mad about lmaoooooooo

It makes them SO MAD, it's hilarious. I've farmed these idiots before and watched them have fucking breakdowns in my inbox from doing this skldflfsdjg. It's very satisfying, especially when you've got a whole groupchat laughing at them with you. But obviously, be aware that you're making them angry on purpose, and they might retaliate.

4. Bait. People who send you leading or misleading questions, in an attempt to get you to say something problematic, which will then encourage more hate.

Solution: You're under no obligation to answer. You don’t need to prove a nything to anyone.

Even if you answer perfectly, a lot of these weirdos will try to twist your words in any way they can, deliberately misquote or misinterpret what you’re saying. Just block 'em. It's not worth your energy to try and figure out their 'gotcha!’ games.

I hope that at least helps you feel a little less alone, nonnie. Please never be afraid to block people and turn off anon, if it's all getting too much. It doesn't make you weak; it doesn't mean they've won. It means you're taking important measures to set boundaries and show them that this sort of behaviour is unacceptable!

I'm wishing you all the best. It must be especially tough in a small fandom, where you feel like you know everyone. I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with this. x

#anon hate

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blocksruinedme · 1 year

Text

SMALLETHO WEEK STATUS: PENULTIMATE REPORT

(please let this be penultimate report)

Okay I have 11 hours to get these out in saturday my time zone and i am going to do it, or i'll take my me off and throw me in the lake (it's right there down the street I'll do it.)

You'd think they'd be done by now. You'd think given how many days ago they were first "basically drafted" they'd be done right now. But noooo, some bitch (me) decided the fic "deserve more" and there are scenes "they really need" and like fine yes I still agree but why can't they just be done.

Red Life fic:

the first three sections are about incidents after turning red than made etho go "huh" about joel. they serve their purpose, but currently exist mostly in the form i scrawled down on the back of another fic in my car after the dentist. I could def describe things more, add a little more reflection about their place in the double life ecosystem as they start murdering and burning

gotta make good kiss at end, and the last bits of lead in, and the little bit after

the main issues here is that i gotta go rewatch DL ep 4 from multiple POVs. at minimum i need pearl's pov of dying, and maybe check for some other people's reactions to joel's shit that are not in smalletho vids but in universe they would have heard. (if only i could shove knowledge of every traffic episode fully into my head, sigh. so much content.

so that's not too bad!

fuck me there's 36 [] around words i don't like/phrases that need to be replaced/etc. fml fml fml

LARPer au morning after fic

apparently i'm adding all this backstory, which means i got to take it out o the author's notes, which i hope will make it more appealing. it's mostly about the party that this is morning after, but it's joel pov and *very* focused on getting laid, he's kinda aware that a lot of shit went down for pretty much everyone else

i want to add a very quick awkward bit with joel asking jimmy about the party the night before, currently he's totally succeeding at making joel (who is very distracted) think he's fine. and it's not gonna get explained in this story, but i'm not setting up a giant mystery, it's just more of "joel missed some shit last night". if that upsets people... i'm sorry! i'm actually very new t writing fic but it feels fine? it's a 5k story, alluding to the rest of the world seems fine

then it's just, fuck holding my breath... 40 sets of []. many many many of them, when i have people look at them, they say "that's fine", and it's just me at "will i have a time to struggle for a synonym/rephrasing

Dear everyone who compliments my writing skill (which i love, keep on doing it)

i hope you are not comparing yourself to me. here's some reasons why i probably have a leg (several legs?) up on you

i am very old and have been writing in one way or another possibly since before you could write.

I legit used to teach sat prep in writing, i have been trained in this and made money on it

if you live like i do, when you are my age you will also have a pretty big vocabulary

i usually edit a lot. I get beta, i throw problem sentences and such at friends, i've gotten proofreading from actual professionals. If i published most of my first drafts, well. I might not get as many "well written" compliments (though i think my plot and characterization would be similar levels of quality, my voices not so much - i have google docs for the way people talks and go through my dialogue looking for places to change things. it's actually great. i could share it?)

it's wild that what is my most popular fic by 3x is the one that went from thought of to posted in <12 hours and thus had only quick editing. so, it's not alway from editing

i just never want anyone who doesn't have those things to compare themself negatively to me, y'know? That said I'm a hypocrite, I compare myself negatively to professional writers in other fandoms. So, do as i say, etc

am i avoiding getting back to writing? yes

back to joel talking about asking scott to help him get tarted up

okay one last thing, me being pleased with my writing - i am jumping between my early 20s larper au and my late 20s/30s burning man au, and i think i am doing a good job at giving age appropriate characterizations to similar version of the same characters. my 21 year old Etho feels 21 to me and my early 30s Etho feels early 30s to me. These ensembles are very much based on my own experiences so I've got a lot to work with, 60 year olds would be harder :)

#me #my writing #larper au

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komatsunana · 2 years

Note

Webcomics are a rabbit hole you can never get out of once you go in... it's like drugs... You read one and find 20+ titles on your list... and it grows bigger and bigger... (´⊙ω⊙`)

Anyways, what kind of webcomic genre do you think the cast of NANA would be into?? Hmm?? I await your answer milady

I definitely would say Hachi would eat up historical romance manhwa/+ historical villainess isekai like a feast.

love how you word this like I wasn't the one who specifically grabbed you by your shirt collar and willfully took you down terrible webcomic rabbit hole on purpose. i did it on purpose to you and i'm not sorry lmao

Ok hm,,, I don't know that I agree that all isekai romance webtoons would be up Hachi's alley. I think Hachi would primarily read webtoons that turned into drama and movies after - because I just think that is Hachi's major first interest. So things like 'True Beauty', 'What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim', and 'Love Alarm'.

She also reads some lesbian webtoons like 'Wish You Were Gone', 'What does the Fox Say', and 'Mojito' and those are ABSOLUTE secrets and make her feel some feelings before going,,, ANYWAY I AM TOTALLY NOT PICTURING ME IN ANY OF THESE SCENARIOS IM STRAIGHT

She would have some trashy historical webtoons (like 'Beatrice', 'Remarried Empress', and 'Under the Oak Tree') but I think Hachi just speed reads them, gushes and enjoys them unironically, and promptly forgets them when moving on to the next.

Hachi then recommends them to Nana who enjoys those trashy historical webtoons completely Ironically and but looooving the drama and laughing all the while lol.

At one point Nobu sees Nana reading 'Under the Oak Tree' and is scandalized but when Nana tells him it was under Hachi's recommendation he tries reading it but is mostly shocked and disillusioned lol

Tbh I pretty much know "girl" webtoons and idk most of the more actiony kinds. So my recs for even the guys will mostly slant that way... But hm, Nobu would like something like 'Magical 12th Graders', 'I'm Sorry Mother,' and 'Tower of God'. Gag series too. He might read a few of the sexy series that Shin recs but like... only with great shame

And yes our boy Shin... you know those terrible racy webtoons that are bad. Like 'I Have Twin Girlfriends' and 'My Stepmom.' he reads those and he dreams of having them dramatized. Also,, 'Cheating Men Must Die'

Yasu may read something like 'In Full Bloom'. Classy-like, lol.

Reira relates greatly to 'July Found By Chance' and it's her secret favorite because she cannot admit how keenly she relates to the main character.

Otherwise, Reira and Naoki mostly get highly into series like 'The Friendly Winter,' 'Sikeum Saekeum,' 'Can't See Can't Hear But Love,' and 'The Children's Teacher, Mr. Kwon.' They always start out reading series for the lulz but end up sobbing outright about them and being so attached to the characters. Basically, inspiration porn.

Takumi is a boring stick in the mud and doesn't read webtoons and tbh he doesn't deserve them.

Mai probably relates greatly to something like 'Spirit Fingers,' 'The Monster Duchess and Contact Princess,' and 'Tamen de Guchi.'

Asami: 'Touch your Heart' and 'Hell Hath no Fury' (Asami wouuuuld be perfect to play Nana in Hell Hath no Fury drama lol)

Miu: 'Nineteen, Twenty-One'

aaaaand that's about it!! I do rec some of these series but some of them are bad (some point blank bad, some so bad it's good) sooooooooooooo there is that. But yeah, I spent and entire week agonizing over this answer because I'm a bitch who does Too Damn Much.

#long post #nana #ai yazawa #webtoons #mspiggiem #ask #my nana feels #i scream #in which i perscribe webtoons to nana characters like an illness jfklsjfklsdjfl #i have actually read at least 80% of these by the way

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cosmic-nightglow · 7 months

Text

About Us

Polyfragmented/complex DID system

17 years old

They/she/he pronouns collectively

If unsure who is fronting just call us Elyxir

AuDHD

hEDS, POTS

Currently on our SP we have just over 60 parts logged however at the start of the year Juniper decided to make a new SP account and so now we are slowly bringing the parts from the old one to the new one (smart choice Junie made though cause the formatting was a mess) but we know that there is well over 100 probably over 200 even so basically we have shitton of parts but half the time they aren't even logged on PK or SP. Like there are ones who wrote notes and what not but did not log themselves on SP so truly the alter count is fuck this shit there's too many.

We're also introject heavy (yay fiction our only escape from the world for the first 10 years of our life and then yay fifth harmony our next means of escape /s. we all agree on one thing collectively, fifth harmony, we love the girls)

Don't really care for syscourse (we enjoy hearing the different opinions and occasionally may wish to voice ours but don't care too much for it if you get what I'm saying)

Stance on endos: don't really care, they're experience is greatly different to ours, as long as they understand that what they experience is different to what we experience and they don't spread misinformation (intentionally. unintentional misinfo is different and easily spread) we're chill with them cause who knows maybe there is a scientific explanation for them but we don't care that much tbh. We're not gonna go out of or way to get mad at y'all even though sometimes we're like "hmmm is this really a thing?" mostly just as long as endos stay in their space and don't try to invade ours we're chill.

Some parts are more anti-endo than others, some parts are more neutral and some parts may be completely chill with endos, genuinely it completely depends on the part.

We'll trigger tag stuff as TW topic. This will go for vents in general, the ent will be tagged TW vent along with any other potentially triggering topics.

We'll tag any basic triggering topics (if we don't tag one we should just send us a dm or ask to let us know cause we probs didn't realise)

DNI:

Basic DNI

fakeclaimers

honestly really thats it tbh

We'll probably also bitch about shit a lot, mostly drama at school though cause damn does that shit get messy quick and annoying.

Might end up updating this shit with more info later (sorry bout any typos but not really sorry I just don't give enough of a fuck to proofread)

Frequent Fronters below the line

Juniper, 8-15, She/they, Lesbian, Host, Fictional Introject, Part of the Terrorised Stories Subsystem

Augustine, 17, She/they, Lesbian, Host, Fictional Introject

Lauren, 18-27, She/her, Bi, Protector, Soother, Trauma Holder, Factual Introject, Part of Moon Line Subsystem

Camila, 18-26, She/her, Lesbian, Protector, Factual Introject

LJ, 17, She/he/they/mera/lun/leaf, Bi, Soother, Factual Introject

Karla Camila (Karla, KC), 16, She/her, Lesbian, Soother, Factual Introject

And since I'm in front I'll add info about myself despite not being a frequent fronter

Maeve/Finn, Late teens, They/it/vamp/spiri, IDK my sexuality, Persecutor

#complex did #c-did #polyfrag system #did system #traumagenic system #dissociative identity disorder #polyfragmented #polyfrag did #c did #complex ptsd #cptsd #complex dissociative disorder #polyfragmented did #polyfragmented system #cdd #cdid #did #polyfrag

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ouraniatm · 10 months

Text

*dusts off the blog* hi, hello. it's me, your favorite planet or disney dog or whatever you want me to be. i FINALLY managed to beat the goddamn ice titan (suck it ya goddamn bitch) AND beat through idia's OB boss battle. i'm now finished with book 6, so i figured i should lay down cora's whereabouts and involvement before it gets lost into the void. not that i want to make some MAJOR changes in the story or whatever, but if anything, it makes things more intense... least in my opinion. if you wanna read it - or don't because heavy spoilers to book 6 - it's under read more! *cracks knuckles* alright, let's go.

to begin with, a quick tl;dr on cora's situation - her family, the ouranias, serve as the second hand to shrouds. it's a chained dynamic which lasted for generations, when the first ourania pledged absolute loyalty to the first shroud after failing to fulfill their part of the deal. they're kind of the underdogs of STYX whose only purpose is to do what their designated owner, a shroud, says. this family has the "strength and preservation over anything" mindset, so they've conditioned themselves to be as robotic and emotionless as possible, even in dangerous situations, meaning cutting off your emotions wholly because that means weakness and unworthiness. this is to ensure a shroud's wellbeing and their continued work for STYX, but most importantly, to reduce any chance of overblotting. if there is no negative emotion to begin with, you're less likely to bring harm onto your owner...such is the mentality the ouranias have maintained for centuries, and such methods of preparing the new generations of underdogs has partaken for this long now.

to add on, an ourania is also conditioned to look after the charons and even the chariots. basically, your life is bound to a shroud's from the moment you're born into an ourania family. it's a little different from jamil's family, who offered themselves to serve kalim's family as they are longtime friends. no, in this case, this is a FULL ownership of another person. no right to live, laugh, love, anything - ourania is shroud's shadow. see how twisted this power dynamic is, because i sure do.

alright, now onto present times: after the events in book 5 and shortly before book 6 events begun, cora (who, unbeknownst to everyone besides idia and ortho, was to inherit the position of second hand from her father before an eventual resignation for disrupting the dynamic by attempting to "befriend" her designated owner in much younger years) actually received a call from styx to inform her of charons' eventual arrival and to immediately let idia know. of course, now that she's trying to leave that part behind her in any means necessary - as well as becoming very bitter and jaded in general - didn't even bother to say anything, assuming he'd be informed...which he wasn't. you can probably imagine how pissed off he was when the charons did arrive. 🙃

---

following this, idia orders cora to look after ignihyde and keep everyone from leaving night raven college. once again throwing all his responsibilities on her but whatever, she doesn't have the care to argue back. she's the one to explain everything to the panicking students and warn them not to go after the subjects and that they'd be back soon.

---

does rook listen? absolutely not. if anything, he goes straight to her and relentlessly keeps asking her to come along and help him get to island of woe, her homeland. initially, she refused and kept trying to shoo him off, knowing her arrival would cause and uproar amongst the ouranias, but ofc, rook being rook, he is able to see right through her and hit where it hurts, the most - she wants to put an end to this vicious punishment. she wants to tell idia off and finally be rid of these shackles, to have her own identity...to start over, completely. wouldn't you know, it hits cora (mostly bc he wouldn't leave her the fuck alone) and she agrees...but not to help him, no, she couldn't care less why's rook so insistent to go - but to tell idia off and finally cut ties, like she always wanted.

---

cora is part of the "rescue" team! very reluctant member, but still a part! hooray! she guides them to island of woe, knowing this is the biggest disobedience she caused and would have very, very big consequences. still, she can't say it's the first time she disobeyed idia, so she tucks that problem aside...at least this would lead her to eventual banishment, which is what she truly wants.

---

when they arrive, much to cora's expectations, she was NOT welcome - hell, members of styx instantly recognized her and were outraged...not that she paid them any mind, since she was focusing only on idia, with his boss mode on...who was CLEARLY furious. sure, she expected to get him yapping on and on as usual, but this was different...this was GENUINE anger. the subjects must've tired the hell outta him, but still, cora didn't expect to be yanked off the group while ortho stayed behind with the rest.

---

following the departure from the group comes what is probably their worst argument to date - it begins with usual bickering but is quickly escalated towards jabs at each other's lives, their failures and even what has other done to another - accusations and screams flew, much of which cora never expected. sure, she saw idia peeved off from her actions back at school, their disdain was very clear among other students, but she never saw him fueled with rage to the point his hair turns full blown orange. he says it's her fault for everything, she says it's the other way around...until the argument stops with ortho's intervention. cora is quickly escorted out of the room by charons, but not before uttering to idia: "you're fucking dead to me...erase my memories after this, i don't care, but you better remember this until the day you finally die." with those words echoing the now desolate room, she leaves...feeling much emptier than before.

---

she finally did it , right? she told idia off, just like she wanted, and fully cut ties...just like she wanted...right? if that's the case...why is she second guessing herself? this never happened before...it's odd, but she tries not to think too much of it, not when her father will definitely be coming in to handle the matter at hand - which likely means she'll be banished. well...that was the case until the entire system went into shutdown and freed her from her room.

#⟪ character study. ⟫ unlocking friendship level 9000.#book 6 spoilers #long post /

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idontblushsrry · 3 years

Note

I'm amazed that someone's actually willing writing for Inuyasha ;o Those Kouga headcanons got me like 🤤 I loved them. Would you write nsfw Relationship Headcanons for Bankotsu's (gosh I'm so in love with that man, Fangirl Nr 1 right over here 😍) and Kouga with their S/O , please? Hope you're having a good day/night. Keep up your amazing work. Many thanks and best regards Thalia 🙋‍♀️

A/N: I’m glad you liked the Koga headcanons lol, he’s really like the perfect man tbh like idk what Kagome was thinking. And ofc, I love the og show sm. I agree w you though, like Bankotsu is underrated for as fine as he is. I set these in the feudal era but if you want some modern day hcs, lmk

Koga

Koga is a dedicated lover

This transfers over to the bedroom as well

He’ll let you do whatever you want, he is yours after all, say the word and it’s yours

In exchange though, he wants you to be loud as all hell

He gauges his performance based on how loud you are and to be honest, if the entire forest doesn’t know you and him are fucking, he’s doing something wrong

Speaking of forests, you’re pretty much only going to be having forest sex

Especially when he has the jewel shards in his legs like there’s not really anywhere else for yall to go without running into human settlements

Also Koga is way more rough with you if you’re a demon, like cracking tree trunks, shaking the ground, etc. he just goes crazy

Mans is not opposed to quickies

Especially back at home, the two of you basically have to get in as much as possible before the other wolves come back

As for positions, Koga doesn’t mind what positions you get into

The only time he’ll be picky about it is when he’s in rut

At which point, he’s mounting you and breeding you like a bitch before you even know what’s happening

During his rut, he gets a little feral and he usually stays away from you just so that you don’t get hurt or anything, but the first time you agree to help him with his rut, he’s kind of over the moon

Overall, very service top until he gets into heat at which point, he’s thinking solely about pressing you down and drilling his cum into you

Bankotsu

Your honor I’m a freak bitch

No but seriously, Bankotsu is a certified freak

Like whatever you wanna do he’s down for that and more

Bankotsu’s also really possessive and jealous

So if he sees you with someone that he thinks is trying to get with you, he has no problem slaughtering them and then fucking you to remind you who you belong to

Yea he’s gonna ruin you

Bankotsu also has a “slight” corruption kink

He really has a thing for turning you from a law-abiding morally upstanding citizen to someone who’s ok with or even willing to murder

Especially if you were a virgin when you both met, he’s already thinking of all the ways he can ruin you

Speaking of which, he loves cumming all over your body and leaving you covered in hickies and bruises in the shape of his handprints

Literally covering you in a way that says ‘Bankotsu was here’

Also has a thing for dumbification

He finds it amusing, especially if you had an attitude before hand

Pounding into you like “Aww look at my dumb little slut, where’s that attitude you had earlier?”

He loves watching you go from petty to begging for cock like it’s the only thing you know how to do

Also the man loves to throw you around

Like he’s strong asl, one of his favorite things to do is lift you over his shoulder and carry you away so you can fuck

He also likes when you ride him and you get tired, at which point he’ll just lift you up by your thighs and start pounding into you 2x as fast

Bankotsu is very rough as well so aftercare with him mostly consists of him carrying you to the nearest river/pool of water and rinsing you off

Overall, the man is a top through and through and it brings him no greater pleasure than to watch you fall apart on his dick

#koga inuyasha #bankotsu #i had to rewatch some of their scenes to write this so I got kinda carried away whoopsies #inuyasha headcanons #inuyasha imagine #koga imagines #koga x reader #bankotsu imagines #bankotsu x reader #x reader #x black reader #idontblushsrry

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oswald-privileges · 3 years

Text

ALL RIGHT BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT

Power of Three as a series is just. full of weaknesses, most of which come down to poor continuity and structure. I'm not gonna try and fix ALL of those, bc that'd be laborious as hell, but I will pick out things that I feel are the most egregious as case studies.

What Po3 does have, tho, is an absolutely shining strength in the concept of its three main characters. After twelve books of Blandly Heroic Protagonist Syndrome, Jayfeather is an absolute godsend. He's angry! He's rude! He's unhappy! He's not nice. I Love Him And He's My Son. Lionblaze has his invincible pride (hah) and emergent bloodlust, and Hollyleaf has her moral absolutism and certainty. These are good starting points for characters. Sadly, the lack of continuity undermines what could have been three really good character arcs.

So! I present to you:

HOW TO MAKE "WARRIORS: THE POWER OF THREE" NOT COMPLETELY SUCK ACCORDING TO MY PERSONAL TASTE; A NON-EXHAUSTIVE, NON-CONSECUTIVE LIST BY ME

ONE

- Have there be a persistant, overarching series threat. Sol is a character with amazing villain potential who does literally nothing except hang around, and do exactly 2 Bad Things completely off-screen. This Is Not Good.

- Instead, have him be present from the second book onwards- initially introduced as a friendly but enigmatic outsider who is slowly revealed across the series to be a complete black hole of a personality, a social parasite quietly rearranging whatever community he's a part of to just-so-happen to benefit him as much as humanly possible. His "preach individualism not starclan" methods are not so much values as one strategy out of many. (to those who know me- yes i have a type. no i will not apologise.)

- Maybe his ultimate goal is to dissolve and centralise the clans or something so that he can live out his life as a political puppetmaster in all the cat-luxury he likes. idk it's hard to imagine overall stakes for this rewrite BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL DOESN'T HAVE ANY

TWO

- For gods sake you don't have a series based on the premise of "the main characters develop super powers" and then only have the second power confirmed by the end of the fourth book. I understand the first book mostly focusing on Jayfeather- his powers are obvious from the start, he's got the strongest personality of the three, he gets access to most of the prophecy plot stuff because of them. But you NEED to have the other two show an interest in something concrete happening to them beyond that, and you need to at least hint towards the other two having something unique to them even if nobody clocks it yet.

- Have Jayfeather tell his siblings about the prophecy by the end of book two at the latest. The amount of time he spends noodling around not sharing it with them is inexcusable. It's not that it's out of character for him to hang onto a secret for a bit, it's just that there's no point and it slows everything down. It would be equally in character for him to go to his siblings and be like "look, i'm SPECIAL. well you as well but ALSO ME". Boy starts off as desperate for recognition, what can I say

THREE

- Have Jayfeather discover that StarClan don't withhold signs or information on purpose for the sake of "building courage and faith" or whatever nonsense. Seeing and communicating the future is metaphysically very difficult, so interpreting signs and messages is a genuine skill, or even an art. The cats of StarClan, however, really are just ghosts, much more similar to living cats than the currently living believe. This is the impotus for Jayfeather's discarding of his reverence for StarClan, which remains consistent throughout the series.

- Have Hollyleaf and Jayfeather both still change their cat careers in the first book, but put place more attention on the fact that they basically switched jobs. Have a scene where they end up yelling at each other, because can't the other see how lucky they have it? The tension breaks when they realise they've both lost something important to them- Jayfeather his chance to prove he's as capable as a sighted cat, and Hollyleaf her path to helping her clan in the way she thinks is best. They commiserate together, and reluctantly promise to do the best they can with their lots, so they don't waste the path the other wishes they'd taken. This closeness is eroded over the series as they disagree more and more on the subject of StarClan and its role in their moral choices and obligations.

FOUR

- Speaking of Hollyleaf! I nearly threw my phone across the room when the first Omen of the Stars book claimed that Hollyleaf "worked so hard to discover her power to help her clan". Where, Ms Erins??? I would have LOVED to have seen that!! Hollyleaf expresses absolutely no concern over the details of what power she has/will develop, and only has a couple of scenes even touching on her ambitions to help her clan. She has some vague ideas about becoming leader and like one scene where she gets to do some leadery things, but that never gets followed up on. What does happen is that the whole "warrior code" thing becomes more and more a part of her personality (for no clear reason) until she snaps.

- Hollyleaf going off the deep end is something I wanted so badly to get into and be moved by, because I could see where it comes from! Her moral certainty is fascinating, especially since it's based in something as abstract as the warrior code- which, when you think about it, isn't really... anything. There's no concrete set of rules that make it up, no traditional wording or cat philosophers, not even any fables. It's a handful of agreed-upon, common sense rules- don't cross boundaries, don't take prey that isn't yours, respect your ancestors, and don't murder. That's it!

- So, combining the above points, I think Hollyleaf not being one of the Three should stay, but both the audience and the characters are given good reason to believe she is. By around the third volume, make it so that Hollyleaf has found that her power is to get cats to "Do The Right Thing"- i.e. what she wants them to do. She sneaks off often to see Sol, who teachs her how to use this power. Her siblings are concerned about this new power, having already gotten a glimpse at what Sol can do, but she's confident that she can only use this power for good. Volume-specific plot happens, Sol manipulates her into causing him to win, she is shocked and horrified, and vows to stick ridgedly to what she knows is right i.e. The Warrior Code

- However, the more fervently she tries to stick to this abstract idea, the less it gives her results, the more her power seems to be failing. Believing that StarClan is taking her power away from her, she becomes caught up in a faith-guilt spiral that puts her in the position to snap at the end of the series. By that point it's clear to her siblings that Hollyleaf has no power- she was just very, very good at persuading people to do what she wanted.

FIVE

- Lionblaze is a girl now because I Said So. This Cat Is Trans And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

- Her relationship with Heathertail stays the same- childhood sweethearts who are torn apart as they begin to understand the nature of the societal divides that exist between them.

- This can be used to contextualise the whole "half clan/outsider blood" thing as a cultural contradiction. In reality, inter- and outer- clan relationships aren't at all rare. They can't be, otherwise the whole society would be inbred out of existence in like five generations. But if at least one society of humans can spend a good 200 years pretending Sex Is Bad And Sinful Actually then cats can have persistant cat-racism in the face of all logic. Heathertail clocks this contradiction, Lionblaze doesn't.

- Her relationship-to-power arc doesn't need changing all that much either, other than starting much sooner and being more consistent. At first, she's completely overjoyed by her power, since unlike her siblings, it lines up so well with her ambition- become the finest warrior any of the clans have to offer. As the berserker rage aspect becomes more prevelent, she becomes more and more disturbed by the fact that she isn't disturbed by what she can do, and that she doesn't want the escalation of her power to stop.

- Tigerstar still does his thing, but Brambleclaw knows about it. He recognises the signs from when his father used to visit him, and tries to train Lionblaze in his own way. She ends up caught between wanting to be a good warrior, and testing the limits of her power.

SIX

- Jayfeather can stay basically the same because he's my perfect little angy boy and nothing needs to change. His arcs can be strengthened by having a more robust relationship with Yellowfang where they try to out-bitch each other, and coming to terms with his internalised ablism. Maybe he has a chat with Mothwing about faith a couple of times. Him furiously lashing out at being offered help transitions into an acceptence and understanding of his abilities more naturally. He never stops being A Grumpy Old Man.

- All fucking past-lives unexplained time travel goes in the BIN. Doesn't fucking happen. You can have that lore dump sprinkled across the books, or come from going deep into the tunnels and having a surreal meeting. Make it properly eldritch-level scary, shake Jayfeather's confidence in the idea of them being just a bunch of ghosts.

SEVEN

- Have the way Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight present very clearly as parents to the Three be explicitly, textually unusual. One of the things I liked so much about the first series was an almost total lack of emphasis on who was mated with who, and who was related or not. It felt very real to how feral cat colonies form, where raising kittens is a communal job. This gets completely dropped the moment series 2 starts and now the cats have monogamy.

- This emphasis on the family unit and fostering close relationships between parents and kittens is deliberate on the part of both Leafpool and Squirrelflight. Their aim is to cover for Leafpool so she doesn't lose her role as medicine cat- something she already gave up Crowfeather for before she was pregnant.

- In that little bit of backstory, have a robust reason for both Leafpool and Squirrelflight to leave the camp while Leafpool is pregnant and giving birth, possibly one that ties into the present day story in some minor way. I don't know how, it would just make that element of the story a lot more ground than "we left, the kits were born, then we came back and everyone was cool with it"

- When it comes to the "I am Not your mother" reveal, Jayfeather and Lionblaze are confused and hurt that they were lied to, but come to the reasonable conclusion that well, since they were raised mostly by Squirrelflight, saw Leafpool often, and are loved by both, they don't hate her. Lionblaze has something of a crisis over being half-clan, possibly initiating an attempted reunion with Heathertail. Jayfeather is more concerned with how other cats will think it makes him lesser, something he's still sensitive too.

- Hollyleaf, meanwhile, completely fucking snaps at the way her mother Violated Part Of The Code. It's a completely irrational reaction, but expected because she's been growing more and more reliant on The Code for the whole series, and less and less stable in her attempts to aid her clan and train to be its new leader.

- Squirrelflight is the one to murder Ashfur. This is easy to work out while reading- she's literally the only one of the four with a motive who isn't a perspective character. The mystery is less around finding out who did it, and more about why she did it (it's very ambiguous as to whether it was an accident or not). The main tension comes from who finds out when.

- Lionblaze is shocked, awed by how far she'd go to protect the three of them, and reassures her she did the right thing (as a way to salve her own uncertainty over her own longing for violence). Jayfeather makes it all about himself because he's Jayfeather- upset that he didn't know immediately, instead of, you know, figuring it out in a few hours because he can basically read minds. They try their best to hide it from Hollyleaf, who is already rattling around the final volume as a full-on antagonist, but are unsuccessful. This almost costs them something incredibly important- possibly Squirrelflight's life.

EIGHT

- the whole plot with the Tribe Of Rushing Water is a MASSIVE can of worms that could be removed from the series without issue. As it is:

- Characterize the Tribe as uncertain of how to fight other cats, because yes, they haven't had to do this before. DON'T characterise them as pathetic, doing whatever their leader says without thinking, and with ancestors who have Given Up

- Have some of the Tribe be really good at the violence. Worryingly good. Have others be sickened by what they're being asked to do.

- Have some of the clan cats reflect on what they've done. Hollyleaf would be all for introducing this society to jesus The Code, but even she might be horrified at being thanked by a tribe cat who can't wait to get out there and win themselves glory, only to be killed a few hours later

- The Tribe begin a new tradition of marking the walls in the mud they use as camoflage in order to commemorate their battles, and memorialise the fallen. One of the characters reflects on the fact that in a generation or two, the Tribe will feel like it's always been this way. How many of their own traditions- those that feel almost like natural law- started out the same way?

- Have Sol as the leader of the invaders, or maybe having insinuated himself into the tribe as a "mediator" and doing his charismatic cult leader thing.

NINE

- Cinderheart isn't a reincarnation of Cinderpelt. She's just named after her bc Cinderpelt saved her mother from a badger. this is because I think the reincanation thing is stupid and I can't think of a way to make it good.

TEN

- No more using tails as hand gestures like covering people's mouths. Never. None of it. It's expunged from existence.

Disclaimer: I haven't read Omen of the Stars yet, so I can't account for anything that might happen in that series that's grounded in Po3. I'm like... two thirds of the way through the first volume. I'm Not Impressed.

#Warrior Cats #warriors #The Power of Three #Jayfeather #Hollyleaf #Lionblaze #long post

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