#i miss the illusion that i can just have a friendship like that because missing it now is very clearly showing me that i dont

[halewitzka]

god damn it why is my brain hellbent on making me feel nothing but foggy paralysis

I keep sitting there in a state of weird suspension because I want to tell a group of people I barely if ever speak to that I hung out with them for a week and now I love them all so much and I miss them and how can all of you just return to life so easily as if you're not caught up in the blues?

But I can't actually DO it because I'd make myself way too vulnerable by admitting that I love that easily, and strongly, and I'm terrified that it's not reciprocated at this intensity. It'll be weird and awkward and I'll be clingy and overattached because I needed the escapism of a week on a dusty campground that badly.

I know it's all in my head. But I still can't tell my friends that I love them, and I keep sitting here in limbo until I do because the sensation of it and the need to say it are holding my brain hostage to the point where I can do nothing else.

Blergh blargh graahh

#i keep just hearing one of them tell me #us making you part of our bro club really meant more to you than you want to admit huh #and i keep thinking YES FFS it meant the world and i love you okay but i cant fucking TELL YOU #because i dont know how to #and it would be supremely awkward to just bust in the door like #hi there's zero context for this bc thats all in my brain and i dont expect You'll have much of a reaction in you beyond an Ok cool thanks #but i really fucking miss talking nonsense with you while we're drunk off our faces and you mean a lot to me now #even though we've never really spoken much before and i dont expect us to now because bruh what would we even talk about #i sure as hell dont know i just miss you and i miss the way i got to be part of a little trio for a week #because i just dont have that in my life #i miss the illusion that i can just have a friendship like that because missing it now is very clearly showing me that i dont #i want someone who’s going to call me a dumbass and a loser and then hug me like they love me so much #and there's no one #and i know the camp guys dont either. not beyond that week and the 2 day blues after #im lonely man

[multi-fandom-imagine]

Hi! So at the end of Loki how he becomes part of the multiverse tree and everything resets. but what if the reader still remembers Loki so she goes to look for him and try to give him a happy ending.

It's so sad because Loki should have a happy ending and seeing what happens in the finale of the show I would like to see him not end up alone.🥺

A/n: I WILL GIVE LOKI HIS HAPPY ENDING, p.S…Wanda is also alive cause I said so. So yea obviously I changed a lotttt of things.

Side note: was gonna make Sylvie switch places for Loki’s but I didn’t want to be called stupid 😂. But if you want it as an alt end then I’ll write it.

You didn’t understand, you couldn’t understand why people couldn’t remember him. Why? Mobius,Sylvie, not one of them remembered Loki.

You refused to believe this, he couldn’t be gone, you had to do something, you had to fix this. Ignoring Mobius calling out your name, you were determined to find him, you will save Loki and you had to go to the one person that would help, the one person that could help.

Wanda

Your heart hammered as you came upon the home, the same little house you had found for the woman, one reality where she can finally be happy. You just hoped she would remember her love. You hoped that what ever Loki had done hadn’t reset this life.

Taking a deep breath, you made your way to the door. Your hand knocking on the door though relief flooded your body when the woman said your name, her head tilted to the side.

“You remember me?! Oh thank god…Wanda I need your help?”

Wrinkling her nose Wanda stepped side letting you come into her home. “Why wouldn’t I remember….what’s wrong?”

Patting your lips you ran you nervously bit your lip as you started explain everything to your friend. “And now he’s stuck in the Loom and nobody remembers him but us and he’s alone and I can’t.” Shaking your head you grasped the edge of your shirt. “Please Wanda! You’re the only one that can help me.”

Wanda hated seeing you like this, you were one of the kindest people she knew. You were the only one that helped her, the believed in her. Glancing over her shoulder, she nodded her head as she grasped your hand gently. “Of course, let’s just find a place that’s not my front yard.”

Giving one last look at her family she tugged you to her car. While she knew what this would mean, she was grateful for your friendship.

•

Stepping through the portal, you glanced over your shoulder spotting the woman struggling to keep it open. “It’s okay Wanda you can let go.”

Tears sliding down her cheeks, Brooke gave you a weak smile. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, and thank you.” Turning away from the closing portal you took a deep breath taking a glance at your surroundings. Did he really subject himself to this? It felt so lonely here, so isolated.

You didn’t care if people will forget you, it didn’t matter because you would have Loki, he wouldn’t be alone anymore.

A smile formed on your lips as you spotted the man sitting on a thorn. The once heart broken look on his face was replaced with a look of disbelief, your name spilling from his lips.

“It’s can’t, this must be a cruel joke.” This bad to be some illusion, something is mind made up to push back the loneliness he felt.

Giving him a teasing smile you stepped forward kneeling down in front of him. Your hands grasping his gently. “I’m not very good at jokes but I can assure you that I am very real.”

Clutching your hand tightly he was afraid that if he let go than you’d just vanish. “You must go back you can’t-.”

Placing your hand on his cheek, you let your thumb glide across his skin. “Well, it’s a bit to late for that now.” You then pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips then smiled resting your head against his feeling Loki draw you in close. “So now you’re going to have to put up with me.”

“Thank you.” Loki whispered holding you tight, hr might be stuck protecting all the time lines but at least he wasn’t alone anymore.

At least he had you.

#drabbles #drabble #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel x you #marvel x y/n #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #marvel mcu #mcu #mcu x reader #mcu x you #mcu x y/n #Loki x

[not-goldy]

https://www.tumblr.com/not-goldy/748392902553649152/httpswwwtumblrcomnot-goldy748386443834048512?source=share

Let's make one thing clear i wasn't the og anon who asked you about the "did jungkook said all those vile things to jm" but i did saw it so i commented on it and i stand by the fact that making fun of someone's looks when the said person is insecure about his looks is "evil" cause it is. The male treat e/o differently bs you can keep to yourself cause teasing is one thing but making fun of someone's insecurity is not the same get that fact clear.

Did i anywhere said jungkook is not jimin's friend? NO i did not so idk exactly what y'all are yapping about. Did i say "And jk is the standard of love for jkkrs" refering to his past self which jkkrs romanticize and glorify? Yes i did. so now what all it means is i said jungkook is not "the partner" for jimin and i never commented on their friendship and there's difference between friendship and romantic relationship. You can't always chose your friends or even best friends as your romantic partner cause you don't feel it and it doens't work like that. Just because someone's friends with you doens't mean you see them as your partner cause you want more and different. Also the ppl who says we make jm looks pathetic nahh bro fact here is it's you who love the "jm fell first jk fell harder" edits not us. Jm is sweetheart with everyone and he especially takes care of his younger ones, he babies V too who's literally 2 months younger than him. Just because jk learned how to be nice over the years doens't mean it can erase what he said when he was 18-19-20 yrs old. He did say all those things to jm it is what it is.

About the anon who said you have been waiting for jm and jk to reveal their partners from 2017 cause ppl said so then you and those people both are dumb cause why on earth would you think they're gonna reveal their partners at their peak?? By revealing their partners i completely mean them officially introducing and CONFIRMING their partners which is also not the case with taennie (i know they dated but they never confirmed so doens't fit in what i mean). Like they debuted in 2013 and you were expecting their partner's official reveal in 2017 cause some ppl said so? Lol. But here i say wait for some more years. Let them get to the age of 35-40 and you'll see. And the list you posted to show how jungkook treats jm can be applied to how jungkook treats other members too then, so maybe he's dating them too (again except one gcft yet). Btw we all did saw jungkook with a woman at night in his apartment, back hugging her....yes he doesn't have a gc now but does that earse the exsistance of that video? The times when jkkrs were like "he's missing his love of life jm" while the guy was having women at his home? Sure. He was missing jm so much that rather visiting jm at any of his sets or anything like other members jungkook was at home doing lives singing songs live..i see how much he was missing. I'm not telling this because i expected that from him it's because y'all make big deal out of nothing.

Anyways, idt y'all gonna be here after those many yrs but if y'all stay I'd love to see that reaction.

Again with the anachronisms

I'm running out of patience here-

When did you find out Jimin was insecure about his looks??? 2013, 2014? 2015 when he was in his hypermasculine state doing 360 flips in the air, flexing his biceps, talking bout girls chasing him, when he was strong confident in his masculinty and showing it off- is this the same year he opened up about his vulnerabilities???

In fact when did Jimin discuss this self image issue???

And when was Jungkook teasing Jimin????

Making fun of his insecurities bitch you're crazy. Lost it. Pulling stuff from your ass get a life cos your whole existence is an illusion.

In your crazy delusional head what did you think was happening???

Poor poor insecure Jimin walking around shy hiding from people explaining to everyone he has body image issues while his younger maknae followed him around pointing to him telling the world his biceps was fake his abs had been drawn on????

Same Jimin who had the hyung line busting their ass off to catch up? Same Jimin whom the company used as a model for the others to emulate Same Jimin whom the company preferred him showcasing his gorgeous body and the others had to work had to attain his level of physique but even that they were still passed over for Jimin???

Same Jimin?????

Use your brains for a sec, with the way he looked and the way he carried himself around who could tell he was feeling insure??? You only know that NOW years forward into the future when he opened up and not the actual moment it was happening.

You think Jungkook would play like that with him if he knew any of that ? And ever since he'd become like that- well as you put it, he's been "nice".

Well well well

Again confirming my diagnosis of you and your kind

"Just because JK has learned to be nice over the years don't erase what he said and did when he was 18 19 20

Actually he was 15, 16, 17 you creep.

Also you are not saying anything we don't know. Like I said WE KNOW HOW YALL WORK you not difficult to figure out.

At least you admitting he's a nice person others of your kind have a hard time admitting that.

If you want to Judge a grown man you claim is nice over his playful ribbings with HIS FRIENDS WHILE HE WAS A MINOR that's your crazy to deal with.

But do tell that to your new recruits and the impressionable minds you try to twist and brainwash like the fine Tuktukker relative you are.

I simply disagree with you. That's all.

I don't see any of what he said and did as malicious. He did it with everyone and especially Taehyung. Jimin simply wasn't comfortable with that which is fine because he's after all not a very typical or traditional male in every sense of the word and how was Jungkook to know he couldn't just toss him around and throw him in the air and break his back like he was doing his other friends.

We all have our idiosyncrasies and I think BTS work so well because they have learned to respect eachother's boundaries- well some of them.

I think if that was Jimins boundaries he is entitled to his boundaries and all anyone can do is respect those boundaries.

But I'm starting to also appreciate why JK solos would equally hate Jimin and Jimin stans like you.

I mean for one he was also constantly disturbing that dude trying to kiss him and bug him when CLEARLY JUNGKOOK ALSO DIDN'T WANT THAT especially as it was done publicly. For an introverted fella I can see how stressful that whole experience must have been for him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Poor poor guy 🥲

Respect goes both ways Anon.

You can't insist on your boundaries while also constantly pushing someone else's. Especially since Jungkook was the shy type and didn't like being the center of attention. If someone doesn't want to be bothered or doesn't want to be friends with you you leave them alone. You don't act sad about it on camera and inadvertently put your fans on their back.

I'm open to discussing all the toxic things Jimin did as a teen with you since you enjoy living in the past but ll rather redirect you to another toxic Jk solo who is equally stuck in the past as you so you two can take each other out.

For me, jikook grew and I grew with them.

Take care.

[unquietspiritao3]

kayfabe in rpf

I’m back with another meta-essay on the nature of RPF! Did you miss me?

This time, I was inspired by some notes on a poll about shipping Greg/Alex which seemed to me to imply that some anti-RPF people believe us shippers want the real people to break up with their real partners and publicly get together. And…darlings, no.

But also, this essay isn’t really aimed at those people. I know there will always be antis, and I don’t expect to change their minds. My audience here is actually other RPF fans, because I believe I have a useful word for a concept we’re all familiar with, and adopting it more widely might help avoid confusion both amongst ourselves and with outsiders.

The word is

✨kayfabe✨

Now, I didn’t make up this word. I’m borrowing it from the world of professional wrestling—you know, Hulk Hogan and all that stuff.

Kayfabe (rhymes with ‘say babe’) refers to:

the tacit agreement between pro wrestlers and fans to pretend the staged/scripted events are genuine, and

the play-acting involved in maintaining that illusion of genuineness.

In the past, kayfabe in pro wrestling was almost never broken. Wrestlers stayed in character whenever they were in public. That’s lessened over the years, though, and these days all wrestling fans (unless they’re very young, I suppose) know what they are watching is fake and happily suspend their disbelief to keep kayfabe.

Hopefully you can already see the connection to Taskmaster here. When Alex goes on Sunday Brunch or whatever other UK show and talks about Greg being his ‘boss’, that is kayfabe. When he was asked at the NYC premiere to list five things he likes about Greg and one of them was “he’s a gentle lover”, that was also kayfabe. Conversely, when they went on Seth Meyers and Alex took the time to explain very carefully to the maybe-unfamiliar-with-Taskmaster audience that it’s his show and was his idea to make Greg the Taskmaster, he was breaking kayfabe.

(It should be noted, sometimes the division between kayfabe and reality is murky, like a real-life marriage getting written into a wrestling storyline, which is a whole other interesting discussion. Little Alex Horne’s wife is often mentioned on the show, but when Greg used Rachel’s actual name, some of the contestants were taken aback—did he blur the line of kayfabe a bit too much? But that’s beyond the scope of this essay.)

Now let’s expand this to the fandom. When we as shippers talk as if Greg and Alex have an actual sexual/romantic relationship, all knowing full well that they don’t, without explicitly acknowledging to each other that it’s a fantasy—a fiction we’re creating together—we are also keeping kayfabe. But if we wanted to talk about their real-life friendship behind all that, for instance, we could say, “Let’s break kayfabe for a moment…” and everyone would understand it’s time to set those shippy tendencies aside. It could help make the line between fiction and reality clear, both to ourselves and to outsiders looking in.

Of course none of this is limited to Taskmaster, it’s just the RPF fandom I’m in most deeply right now. I think it’d be useful for all RPF fans. At the very least, it’s fun to say. Kayfabe!

#taskhusbands #rpf #meta

[panda-noosh]

commissions open! pm for details.

———

coriolanus snow doesn't give up easily.

he's never been able to. his position in life has never given him the room to throw his hands up and say, "i give up." his world would crumble if he did that, dragging his entire family with him. he can't let that happen.

maybe that's why he finds it impossible to give up on you.

so many people have told him that you're not worth it, and not necessarily in a rude way. nobody is under any illusion that you are anything short of phoenomenal, the type of person to drop everything for those you love. all these people tell coriolanus you're not worth it, because he's broken you before, and nobody believes he can come back from that. the attempts would just be pointless.

once, coriolanus may have agreed. in fact, there's been multiple times where he has agreed, days when you won't even look in his direction during classes, when you scurry past him in the hallways like he has some sort of horrendous, contagious disease. despite this, he can't put his feelings to rest. he can't give up. his world would crumble if he did that.

he sits in the canteen of the academy, and so do you. he's starving, and he's stacked his plate full of all the foods the chefs have provided, but he can't focus on his plate long enough to start eating, not when you're say only feet away, trying everything in your power to avoid his piercing gaze. oh, how easy it would be to just walk over to you - you'd be cornered. coriolanus knows you well enough to know you would never make a scene amongst your peers, not in the way you did during that final argument.

yes, it would be easy, but that's not the way coriolanus does things. he's eager, maybe a little desperate, but he loves you enough that he wouldn't put you through that humiliation.

so instead he watches from the sidelines as you laugh at something jener has said, all massive smiles and thrown back heads, all fake. everyone in the academy is fake, and you know that. it's a topic you and coriolanus have discussed in plenty, cuddled under a blanket, you calling him 'cor' because everyone calls him 'coryo' and you never wanted to be just like everyone else.

oh, he misses you so much.

the memory breaks him enough that he looks away; he'll try again tomorrow.

"all alone again, coryo?"

sejanus appears out of nowhere, but coriolanus doesn't make his irritation clear. though he would much rather be alone, he nods to the empty chair in front of him and says, "i was waiting for you. where's your food?"

sejanus sits. "i haven't got time to eat. professor crildum only let us go two minutes ago, says we need to use all our free time making sure we know the codex off by heart." he rolls his eyes. "i swear, i haven't properly slept in weeks."

coriolanus has to bite into a cold hashbrown to keep from saying anything that would ruin their friendship. it usually never bothers him when his rich capital friends mention their surface level struggles, but he's been irritable lately, less mentally equipped to deal with it. there's been multiple times this week where he's just wanted to tell them all to shut up, that he doesn't even remember the last time he slept on an actual mattress, let alone had a good nights sleep. coriolanus hasn't properly slept in weeks because another resident in his apartment complex is dying of pneumonia, and the sound of his cousins stomach growling keeps waking him up. he would love for his biggest issue to be the looming doom of school work.

he sips his water. "i slept like a baby. it's good for the mind."

sejanus rolls his eyes, pinching a sausage off coriolanus's plate. coriolanus isn't bothered; he finds himself looking back over at you like you're some kind of magnet, laughing away with your friends, friends who have probably told you countless times to stay away from him.

he banishes the thought as soon as it appears; your friends aren't the issue, and he knows that. he's come to terms with the fact he messed up, but that doesn't mean he can ignore the hatred he feels for anyone who tarnishes his name even more to you.

sejanus pops into his field of vision. "hello. still with us?"

coriolanus snaps his gaze back to his plate.

sejanus sighs, leaning back to get a good look at the warmth crawling up coriolanus's face. "do i even need to ask?"

"no," coriolanus snaps. "you do not."

sejanus looks over his shoulder; you're standing up, dragging your coat with you. he looks back at coriolanus and smiles. "have you spoken to them yet?"

"we're not on speaking terms."

"and how badly is that tormenting you?"

coriolanus closes his eyes, exhaling slowly. "you told me to leave it alone."

"i didn't think you'd actually listen to me, though. it's not like coriolanus snow to take the advice of others, especially when it comes to. . . well, feelings."

coriolanus clenches his jaw, watching you leave the canteen without so much as a glance in his direction. "i don't waste time chasing things i have no chance of catching."

"sounds an awful lot like giving up."

coriolanus scowls. "could you mind your business, sejanus? we both have far more important things to be focusing on."

"ah yes," sejanus muses. "not a moment to be normal teenagers. i forgot the policy for a second."

---

coriolanus remembers the first time he laid eyes on you. it was his first day taking on 'group therapy', a remedy tigris recommended to him and would not shut up about. he agreed to give it a go purely so his cousin would give him some peace. he was also reaching a point of desperation, though he loathe to admit it; the nightmares of the way - the flashbacks - were returning full force, and his already grim sleeping schedule was becoming non-existent. he would go days without a wink of sleep, too afraid to close his eyes lest the tormenting images attacked him again.

he had little hope therapy would do him any good, but he dragged himself to the youth centre anyway. he wore only a loose pair of cargo trousers and a hooded shirt; ditching his rich capitol attire seemed like the best way to remain unnoticed if he were to accidentally run into any of his school mates, none of whom seemed even a tiny bit tormented by the war they too lived through.

the group coriolanus introduced himself to upon arrival was made up of ones from the poorer side of the capitol. of course, no one from the districts would be granted the privilege of therapy, so everyone around him was still neatly dressed and civil, shaking his hand and asking him all sorts of domestic questions in an attempt to ignore the circumstances in which they were meeting. everyone had horrors behind their eyes, which coriolanus found particularly difficult to ignore; did he look like that? haunted, scared of something that happened so long ago?

he reminded himself he was there to figure that out, and so took a seat in the small circle of patients. the professional, dr langmead, sat at the head and started the session by introducing two of the three new-comers.

"coriolanus snow, callistra stray, and. . ." she looked around, eyes squinted behind her spectacles. "uh, y/n-"

the doors burst open.

corionalus span just as you entered the room, hair a mess and eyes wild. his first instinct was to cringe away from how dishevelled you are, but his manners kicked in when you looked at him, as if your eyes were somehow drawn to his the minute you walked in the room.

"ah," dr landmead drawled. "you must be our final newcomer, y/n l/n. please, take a seat."

"we use first names in here?" you asked, dashing to the seat across from coriolanus. "pretty sure i opted out of that in the sign-up agreement."

"yes, we use first names, because we understand there is nothing shameful about being here," dr langmead replied.

"i'll be the judge of that." you smiled awkwardly. "sorry. nerves make me say stupid stuff."

dr langmead merely blinked before continuing with the session. already, however, coriolanus was distracted by you, the start of something he will not be able to shake. he spent that session staring, examining the way you hold yourself, how you would always look so bored and uninterested, yet always gave the most detailed, thought-out answers when called upon. when it was your turn to speak, coriolanus was shocked to discover you were born district - district thirteen, as a matter of fact. you and your family had travelled to district ten for business when the annihilation happened, leaving you with nothing, taking away everything you held dear. it was only by luck your father managed to secure a job in district ten as entertainment manager, a job that eventually gave you and your family access to capital life. it explained how coriolanus had never seen you before.

"i haven't taken the move well, clearly," you said. "that's why i'm here. mum and-"

"what was district thirteen like?"

your eyes snapped to rubeus helm, owner of the voice. "excuse me?"

"i mean, we all know the basics," rubeus said. "radioactive animals, poison in the soil, basically unlivable unless you have that, like, genetic mutation-"

"excuse me?"

"enough now." coriolanus spoke before he could stop himself, eyes pinned on rubeus. "don't be such an idiot. if you truly believe those rumours, you don't deserve the title of capitol citizen."

the circle went quiet. even dr langmead seemes stunned, mouth open but no words coming out to diffuse the situation. coriolanus turned to you, fully prepared to apologise on rubeus's behalf, but you didn't give him a chance; you stood, chair scraping the floor, and stormed out.

coriolanus followed you, because no one else did. he found you outside the youth building, doubled over with a hand covering your mouth, silent tears pouring down your face. so many people bustled past, not giving you the time of day, and not for the first time, coriolanus wondered if the districts worked like this, if they ignored each other all the time, if they lacked compassion in the same way the capitol did.

he approached slowly. "y/n. that's your name, right?"

you closed your eyes, tightening the hold on your lips. and then, as if only comfortable acknowledging him once you gathered your bearings, you opened your eyes and nodded. "that's right."

"coriolanus snow," he said.

"i know. you're one of the big shits at the academy." at his startled expression, you chuckled and said, "i'm starting there next week. you showed up on the records. multiple times, actually."

coriolanus blushed, though he wasn't entirely sure why; he was usually so proud of his academic achievements considering they were the only truthful things he could brag about. for some reason, however, that side of him being your first impression made him cringe a little.

"do you think they'll let me back up?" you asked.

"i don't think so," coriolanus answered truthfully. "not a bad thing, though; the whole thing is a scam."

"spoken exactly like someone who can't admit he has emotional baggage. what was it for you? war trauma?"

coriolanus pursed his lips. "a little bit. just a few night terrors i can't wash away; my cousin wanted me to try talking it out, so here i am."

"here you are." you pulled yourself onto the railing behind you. "here we both are; two capitol schmucks with issues."

coriolanus tilted his head. "you'd consider yourself capitol?"

you shrugged. "i'll consider myself whatever keeps my family and i safe, and saying i'm from district thirteen certainly isn't the way to do that."

coriolanus was struck by how easily you said it, how matter-of-fact you could sound whilst talking about the cruelties of the capitol, because you weren't exaggerating. coriolanus loathed to admit it, but the rumours rubeus detailed weren't pulled from his own desire to wind up someone from the districts - those were real rumours, real beliefs that even some of the most educated panem citizens believed.

coriolanus looked down, suddenly awkward, suddenly left wondering why he followed you in the first place. He's Capitol through and through, and looking at you from afar made him think you were, too, but now he's heard you speak, heard the tiniest glimpse of your story, and he realises you could very much be the farthest thing from it.

"it's nice here."

your voice brings him back. he looks up to see you staring out at the view, hands gripping the metal railing. your tears have dried, replaced by this look of fascination directed towards the towering sky scrapers and the perfectly clean streets of the capitol before you.

"not what i'm used you," you continue.

"was thirteen bad?" it's a stupid question, almost condescending; everyone in the capitol knows about the state of district thirteen, the horror stories that came out of it even before it's annihilation.

you lift your head, shoulders rising on an inhale. "i loved it. it was home." you turn to him fully. "do you not love your home?"

coriolanus blinks. "i - i like it here. it's all i've ever known."

you scoff. "that must be nice. i can't wait to live here so long that i get numb to it all."

"hey, i'm not numb. i'm thankful-"

you raise a hand, silencing him immediately, though he doesn't know why. that kind of rudeness would usually set him on a rant unlike any other, but the words immediately die in his throat when it's you.

"i don't want you to explain yourself. you're capitol. that's all there is to it."

coriolanus blinks, unsure how to respond. you stare at him a little while longer, as if giving him the opportunity to - what? apologise? he has nothing to apologise for. the annihilation of your home had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with the districts grace overstep during the war.

when the silence continues to drag on, you look away and say, "i should probably start walking home."

coriolanus can only nod, but that is enough for you. you tip your head in a silent goodbye before ducking under the railing and crossing the road, not giving coriolanus a second glance.

---

after the first encounter, coriolanus sees you all the time.

you're a good worker. excellent, even. certainly excelling the expectations of someone district born. you are in most of coriolanus's classes, though if you realise that, you don't show it. coriolanus is almost impressed by how well you ignore him, how well you ignore everyone. you keep your head down, a smart decision on your part. though coriolanus has no problem with your district heritage, he knows not everyone is of the same opinion. even now, three weeks into the school year, he catches his fellow capitol classmates staring at you like you're some kind of spectacle, an animal at a zoo. it makes him angrier than he cares to admit.

it's during your fourth week at the academy that you finally grace coriolanus with a bit of acknowledgement. at least he thinks it's your fourth week; in all honesty, the days have become mere blurs to him recently, too plagued by his ptsd for him to really pay attention to how much time is passing. all he knows is that he has seen you almost everyday for a time long enough to grow his intrigue tenfold. he has quickly become part of your group of spectators, but for a completely different reason.

he sits in the library on his own, because that's what he does all the time. it is also what you do all the time, though neither of you have ever come together during these conveniently timed study sessions. not until this particular day. coriolanus is so absorbed in his business studies textbook that he doesn't even notice you standing over him until you reach over and pluck one of his pastel highlighters off the table. his head snaps up.

"excuse - oh!" he slams his textbook closed, though he doesn't really know why. "y/n. hello."

"hello," you reply. "are you doing business studies right now?"

"um, yes."

"great." you slump into the seat next to him, shoulder crashing against his. "it's the one class i can't get a grasp on; they explain things so weirdly here, it's genuinely like you're all speaking in code." you pull his textbook across the table and open it to a page coriolanus surpassed days ago. "help?"

coriolanus stares, waiting for the punchline, or perhaps your own realisation to kick in. he can tell you feel the tension judging by the way you tap your foot and bite your lip, the way you refuse to look at him, probably expecting him to say something first.

after a few excruciating moments, you inhale and say, "so no help?"

"god forbid you cut to the chase."

you sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat. "i was hoping you'd let me off lightly."

"you haven't spoken to me in a month, y/n; i didn't think there was anything for me to let off in the first place."

you wince, crossing your arms over your chest. now that he has you all to himself, he can see the signs of exhaustion on your face, the bags under your eyes, the slump of your shoulders. your uniform looks too big, hanging off your frame like a mish-mash of blankets rather than a respectable, expensive uniform.

coriolanus leans forward, an eyebrow raised. "what's the matter?"

"how do you do it?" the question is so abrupt, like it's been ripped from your mouth by force.

"do what?" coriolanus asks.

you wave a hand. "this. all of it. the people, the attitudes. it's just so . . . different. backwards, almost." you pause to examine his face, and he has to fight off the blush threatening to make an appearance. "does it offend you when i say that?"

"no," he replies. "i just don't understand why you're saying it to me. i'm capitol, y/n, born and raised."

"i know," you say. "you're different, though."

"am i?"

you shrug. "you came after me that night, came to make sure i was okay. nobody else has even come close to making a gesture like that; i've just been ignored this entire time. like i have an illness or something."

coriolanus's first thought is that perhaps you do have an illness, most likely contracted by the heavily toxic fumes of district thirteen; he's heard all the evidence, that anything to escape thirteen after it's annihilation is likely bunged with all sorts of diseases.

he doesn't say that, though. instead he says, "so you're lonely?"

you wince. "it's embarrassing to say it out loud."

"but that's what it is, right? you miss your friends."

you shoot him a flat look. "my friends are dead, cor. complete annihilation, remember?"

coriolanus's attention should probably go straight to the blatant call-out of your comment, but instead his mind spirals to the nickname you slotted oh-so casually into the dig. his heart stutters hearing it, and he feels ridiculous for the reaction, but he'll be damned if he can help it.

"cor?" he pushes.

you frown. "are we not on a nickname basis?"

"i'm not even on a nickname basis with my own family."

"great. cor it is then." you grin, the first coriolanus has seen you properly do so since you got here. it's a transformative expression, one that brightens your haunted eyes and makes coriolanus's heart skip a single beat.

he rolls his eyes. "whatever. tell you what - there's a grade party taking place in board room three tomorrow night; i'm inviting you if you haven't already. it'll give me a plus one, and you'll get the chance to make more friends."

as soon as he says it, coriolanus knows making capitol friends isn't your goal. not at all. when you expressed being lonely, it was because every friend you had was killed; a school party isn't going to take away that kind of loneliness, the kind rooted in trauma.

your expression flickers for only a second before you wrestle it back into a smile. "oh. i didn't know you did parties."

"a few every year. splits up the work." he nudges your elbow. "what do you say?"

you purse your lips, eyes flicking to the table. after a moment, however, you meet his gaze again and say, "fine. i'm in. but you're picking me up, and i'm not dressing fancy."

----

coriolanus does exactly as you asked, because he wants this.

he truly didn't think you would actually agree to his invitation; all evidence he has observed the past few weeks points to the fact that you do not like the capitol, nor the people in it. why you would ever want to surround yourself with the very people who have tormented you throughout your entire stay is beyond him, but he can't deny he's happy you're joining him. he hates these parties just as much as you do, but he has an obligation to show his face; it's what is expected of a snow.

coriolanus knocks on your door shortly after seven. he has dressed down for the occasion, a dark blue suit with a white tie, one of grandma'am's roses pinned to the lapel. he fiddles with the stem, biting his lower lip as he waits for you to answer the door. he can hear movement behind the wood, your frustrated curses before finally the door flings open, and there you are.

you give him a grin that takes the attention off the oh-so-casual outfit you have decided to wear. coriolanus isn't very familiar with the fashions once presented in district thirteen, but he can think of no other place you got your inspiration from. you're wearing a pair of grey overalls over a plain white shirt, hair pinned back with a feather that runs down the left side of your face. unlike coriolanus, there is not a touch of make up to be seen on your face, not a touch of make up even needed.

"you're early," is the first thing you say.

coriolanus blinks. "is that not a good thing?"

"not necessarily," you reply. "what if i was still in the nude?"

coriolanus is certain he didn't hear you correctly. "excuse me?"

you wave a dismissive hand, banishing that particular conversation for another day. "never mind. let's just go."

coriolanus hasn't done anything grand, just a brisk walk through the more pleasant areas of the capitol. he had half a mind to borrow his fathers' old car, but he's glad he decided against it. you seem to enjoy the walk, happily looking at the flowers lining the sidewalk, the skyscrapers adorned with flags and happy colours. he wonders if you ever had views like this in thirteen, if your joyous reaction is a result of nostalgia or awe.

you arrive at the party, and coriolanus takes your hand. it's a bold move, but he doesn't know if he'll get the opportunity again. he doesn't care that all his classmates are oggling you both as you walk through the crowd, doesn't care that some of those classmates are even scowling, like coriolanus has suddenly become the scum of the earth for being associated with you. he tightens his grip on your hand, guiding you towards the refreshments table.

"want a drink?" he asks, and even as he says it, he can hear how short he is being.

you raise a brow before glancing at your joined hands; coriolanus only then notices his white knuckles, and quickly pulls his hand away.

"sorry," he says. "i just-"

"they've got an issue with me, cor," you interject. "not you. you don't need to get all riled up."

"they're being. . . i don't even know the word."

"assholes?"

coriolanus grins, tries to hide it behind a glass of red punch he doesn't even like the flavour of. "my grandma'am wouldn't like me saying that word."

you pluck the glass out of his hands and take a swig. "that's why i said it for you. now relax, okay? you didn't bring me here to watch you glare at your friends. at least i hope not."

coriolanus chuckles. "no. no, i didn't."

and so you join the party. as always, coriolanus thinks the whole thing is pointless and over the top, but for the first time since he started attending these parties, he isn't eager to go home at the earliest convenience. he finds himself actually having fun when you're by his side, watching you sway and jump around to the music everyone else is ignoring in favour of idle chat. coriolanus never realised just how boring his peers were until you came in as a contrast, someone who comes to a party to breathe life into it, someone who clearly knows what the meaning of 'letting go' is.

you encourage him to dance, and against his better judgement, he does just that. he dances until sweat rolls down his face, until his legs are sore, until he no longer pays attention to anything but you, not even his whispering peers sending scandalised glares your way. he accepts the food from the refreshments table and eats it like a man starved, laughing when you reach forward to wipe some sauce from the corner of his mouth.

he has fun, a new experience in itself. for so long he has been stuck in the business mindset, doing everything just to propel himself that one step forward. it's been so long since he did anything just for the sake of it, just because he can, just because he is human and he's allowed to be relaxed sometimes.

so lost in his own enjoyment, he doesn't notice the moment you duck away from him. it's only when he makes to grab for your hand and grasps nothing that he realises you are gone, and then a panic sets in. he doesn't know where it comes from, but it doesn't feel irrational considering the people surrounding you - these people don't like district born, and that's exactly what you are, all you are to people like them.

he spins, searching the room frantically for any sign of your bizarre outfit. he spots you too late, however, because by the time he finds you in the crowd, moreli has already sidled up beside you. coriolanus watches her grab your arm, that sneer on her face he so desperately wants to rip apart right now. your own expression dulls, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, but how can you be confused right now? why did you think it was a good idea to run away from him? how could you be so dull?

he rushes forward, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process. he snatches your arm the moment he can, placing himself between you and moreli.

moreli stumbles back, eyes widening. "excuse me."

"you're excused," coriolanus growls. "let's go, y/n. the nights over."

"wait, but i haven't-"

"y/n and i were just about to catch up," moreli says. "i don't know why you're freaking out, coryo."

coriolanus clenches his jaw and starts dragging you towards the door. he ignores the concerned glances being sent his way - to hell with all of them. he was having a good night, and it had to be spoiled by brats like moreli.

you tug on his hand, but he's too angry to even notice. it's only when you're outside in the lashing rain do you finally manage to pull your hand free, startling coriolanus back to reality.

he turns, slipping his jacket off to place over your shoulders. you step out of his way, however, frowning.

"what the hell, cor?"

"what? i saved you."

"saved me from what? moreli was asking if i'd had enough to drink!"

coriolanus rolls his eyes; sweet, innocent little you, thinking moreli meant anything kind by her actions. "so you were falling for her act."

your eyes widen, jaw dropping open. "act? coriolanus, you took me out tonight to make friends! how am i supposed to make friends if you just assume everyone is being rude to me?"

"because chances are, that's how it's going to be!"

you flinch back like coriolanus has just slapped you.

"oh, let's be real, y/n," he continues, because he's still so angry, so filled with adrenaline. "you're district. there aren't many people around here who have forgiven you for what happened."

you open and close your mouth, fighting to find the right words.

"i'm protecting you," he continues. "this party was a mistake."

"you're right," you spit. "it was. remind me to never step foot anywhere else with you, ever again." with that, you shove past him and into the rain, not even looking both ways before jogging across the street towards your home.

for a second, coriolanus is genuinely confused. he blinks, watching you go, not quite comprehending what has just happened; he was just trying to help. he was being honest at the end of the day, and what more did you want from him? he knows these people better than you do. he knows what he's talking about.

he sniffs, wiping a droplet of rain from the tip of his nose. he debates going after you, but you've already disappeared into the distance, and he's getting the vague impression you don't want to talk to him.

someone knocking into his shoulder brings him back. he looks over just as sejanus grabs him, probably a little tipsy if the alcohol on his breath is anything to go by.

"hey," he pants in coriolanus's ear. "where'd y/n go?"

coriolanus looks down, watching the raindrops crash against his dress shoes. "home." he inhales, giving sejanus his best fake smile. "i think i'll do the same, actually."

-----

you go back to ignoring him.

coriolanus can't believe the childishness. after a chat with tigris, and a little bit of thought on his part, he can understand why you were angry; as tigris said, you are your own person, a grown up who can make decisions no matter what part of the world you were born in. coriolanus should have let you make your own mistakes.

however, he still can't believe that your choice of punishment for him is the silent treatment.

you fail your business studies assignment because you refuse to let him help. he's offered about five times since the party, but every time you just turn around and pretend he hasn't even spoken. he's sat beside you at lunch, but you simply stand up and sit somewhere else.

it's like you want to have no friends.

coriolanus hates thinking it, but it's the truth; you're district. district people don't make friends in the capitol. they keep their distance, playing it smart. all coriolanus wants is to be a confidant to you, a protector.

until he sees you chatting to moreli again.

it's different this time. moreli is sitting beside you, rubbing elbows, a tray of food placed between you. there's a smile on her face, and at one point, she even laughs at something you say. coriolanus can only stare at the spectacle, an odd twist of jealousy darting around his stomach. he's got an exam to study for, this shouldn't be the thing keeping his attention, but he can't look away. if his eyes aren't deceiving him, then it looks as if moreli is actually being friendly to you.

sejanus slams his tray down in front of coriolanus, as he does every lunch. coriolanus doesn't even flinch, doesn't even bother hiding the direction his eyes are pointed. sejanus tilts his head, moving into coriolanus's view.

"hello."

coriolanus swats him away. "move."

sejanus raises a brow, looking over his shoulder. of course, it doesn't take him very long to pinpoint what has coriolanus so intrigued; despite his best efforts, you are the only thing coriolanus can talk about. he's always asking sejanus and his friends how you have been, if you've asked about him, if you're ready to talk yet. none of them know the answers, of course, because you avoid sejanus just as much as you avoid coriolanus, but he likes to try.

sejanus sighs. "this again?"

"since when were they friends?"

"moreli and y/n?" sejanus shrugs. "for a while. since the party, i think. they hang out in class all the time."

coriolanus digs his nails into his palms. "oh. good. i'm glad."

"has y/n spoken to you yet?"

"no. why?"

sejanus shrugs again. "just wondering. i think maybe you should try having a civil conversation-"

"they won't let me have any type of conversation."

"when has that ever stopped you from trying?" sejanus sighs, leaning forward. "look coryo, don't give up. whatever happened between you two at the party can be solved, but you can't give up. it's not in you."

coriolanus closes his eyes, inhaling deeply. sejanus doesn't know how hard he's been trying, how embarrassing it is to be shot down every time he so much as looks in your direction. he isn't used to this kind of treatment, but maybe that's why sejanus is right; this is a challenge, a task set before him to test if he's really got the commitment he says he does.

and so, after school that day, coriolanus catches up to you on the walk home.

it's snowing a little bit today, frost coating the ground, a hint of deep snowfall in the night. you're bundled up in a large waterproof coat that goes right to your knees, and you walk like a penguin on the ice. like coriolanus, your shoes aren't made for the ice, and yet coriolanus still manages to catch up to you.

you yelp when he taps your elbow, spinning around and very nearly slipping. he grips you a little tighter, keeping you upright, and for a minute, you look like you're not about to yell at him. however, the moment your eyes focus and the shock wears off, your expression slips into a scowl and you spin, storming off.

coriolanus groans. "y/n! stop this nonsense!"

"go away, coriolanus!"

"not until you talk to me."

much to his surprise, you stop. he takes the opportunity to walk in front and meet your eyes.

"not until you talk to me," he repeats, softer this time.

you inhale shakily. "i don't want to do this."

"i just want to explain myself," he replies. "if you want nothing to do with me after, then that's okay. i'll leave you be."

you fold your arms over your chest, looking more vulnerable than coriolanus has ever seen you before. he's so used to the tough, bulletproof version of yourself you show to the world, but now you look genuinely nervous, glancing at the ground, rubbing your foot in the frost.

but you don't run away, so coriolanus takes his chance.

"i'm sorry i assumed moreli was being rude to you," he begins. "i took you there to make friends, so i should have let you make friends. i was just worried. capitol folk. . . y/n, they aren't all clean cut and polished. they can be cruel. especially some we go to school with."

you scoff. "you think i don't know that?"

"i realise now that you probably know better than anyone," coriolanus admits. "but you understand where i'm coming from, right? i wanted to help. i wanted to protect you."

as soon as the sentence is out of his mouth, he realises how vulnerable it sounds. your eyes flick up, lips pursed, but again, you aren't running away.

he tilts his head. "do you believe me?"

you pause. "i believe you. i just don't understand why you'd go through the hassle."

"you're not a hassle."

your shoulders slump like that's the sentence that knocks the wind out of you. you drop your arms to your side and shake your head at the sky, though coriolanus catches a hint of a tiny smile playing at your lips. it makes his heart sing, a chuckle escaping him.

"what?" he asks.

you shake your head again, finally meeting his eyes. "you're a surprise and a half, coriolanus snow."

he blushes, shrugs. "i've been told that before."

you loop your arm through his. "walk me home."

----

the next few weeks are strange, but glorious.

the shift in coriolanus's personality is noticeable to everyone. he gets asked about it multiple times, but the answer is always the same: a sly smile. in reality, he doesn't need to tell anyone why he is suddenly so over the moon; they all know. they see him walking to your house every morning, laughing with you in the hallways, walking you home after a long day.

tigris has asked about you multiple times, but coriolanus never gives her a proper answer. you are like a secret, something special he wants to keep close to his heart. he truly doesn't care that you're district, and he doesn't care if everyone else knows - to him, you are a reason to get up every morning.

he has yet to actually ask you out, because he isn't sure if that's something people do these days. he's read about it in the romance novels, and heard about it amongst elderly couples who grew up in a time where asking someone for their hand was a lot simpler. coriolanus doesn't know what the protocol is these days, and he's very afraid of messing it up. nonetheless, the urge to kiss you grows stronger each day, and he knows you're expecting it, too. sometimes there are these lapses in conversation where you just stare at each other, and more often than not, your eyes end up drifting to his lips. his do the same, though he likes to think he's a bit more subtle at it than you are.

by the time coriolanus finishes up his last class of the day, it's already dark outside. the winter months will do that, but it doesn't make it any more bearable. the moment he steps out of the academy, he is greeted by biting cold winds, flurried raindrops sprinkling his skin. he grunts, pulling his hood over his head so that his curls get pushed into his eyes, and he's going to lose his temper, because that class went so poorly, and now he has to walk home, and he just can't-

"awk, you look like a little puppy dog!"

he spins, very nearly slipping in the process.

you grin, giving him the smallest wave with just the tips of your fingers, the rest of your hand hidden beneath the sleeves of your coat. the minute he sees you, his face lights up, an expression he can't help. you just bring it out of him, this delight.

"what are you doing here?" he asks. "it's freezing!"

you loop your arm through his, guiding the way to the empty street. "i had nothing else to do, so i thought i'd walk you home."

"you're not walking me home. i'm walking you home."

you frown. "not fair."

"that's how this works, i'm afraid. get used to it."

you roll your eyes, letting coriolanus guide you in the direction of your home. it's a route he has unwillingly memorized, a route he has come to enjoy over any other. upon it, there are beautiful green trees slotted between the glass skyscrapers, statues erected tall, the smell of baked goods wafting from the countless bakeries dotted along the path. above all, however, is the you-ness of it. the view and the vibe is all well and good, but what coriolanus enjoys most is the smile it brings to your face, the way you have to halt every now and then to truly appreciate your surroundings.

this evening is no different, and coriolanus is enamored. he doesn't even realise he's staring, smiling until you pause and say, "what's that face for?"

coriolanus doesn't hide his smile, merely shakes his head and replies, "nothing. absolutely nothing."

you raise a brow, but let the subject drop. "you're strange, you know."

"am i?"

"yeah. you're too. . . mysterious, but not really."

coriolanus huffs out a laugh. "i'm going to need an explanation."

"well, let's put it this way." you loop your arm through his, as if to really get your point across. "as cheesy as it may sound, i feel like i know you pretty well. i know you're an absolute fiend for a nice bar of chocolate, that you have some strange obsession with roses-"

"it's not an obsession-"

you slap his arm. "i know you're a high achiever, whether you want to admit it or not. i also know you have a protective streak, which makes you very, very sweet in my eyes."

despite himself, coriolanus blishes; he's been called many things throughout his life, but hardly ever 'sweet.' it's possible that is a purposeful thing, him always playing the tough guy act, the legendary scholar in any attempt to protect the secrets he has held for so long.

"but," you continue, and coriolanus raises a brow. "i know all that stuff, yet i don't even know how many people are in your family. are you close? what was your childhood like?"

coriolanus's heart thuds. that smile he seems to permanently adorn when in your presence slips as the panic starts to set in. "the answers to those questions don't mean anything."

you frown. "you don't think so?"

"i just don't believe they add anything to our relationship. it's all pointless information."

your frows furrow, and coriolanus knows he's digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole. he doesn't understand the fight or flight response flooding his system, but it's there, is always there when anyone starts prodding into his personal life.

he's never felt guilty about his secrets before, but you're different.

"look," he says, "let's not get caught up in all that. we need to get you home before it gets too dark, and then i'll be forced to sleep on your front porch."

to his relief, you smile, eyes crinkling at the edges in that way he loves so much. "there it is. that protective streak."

"i believe it's called being a gentleman."

"oh, whatever."

and so, coriolanus walks you home, treading carefully around anything that could trigger a conversation about his home life. it's easy enough to avoid as you get lost in talking about the plant life surrounding you, so all coriolanus has to do is listen. he loves when you get like this - animated, human in a way the capitol doesn't recognise. it's a breath of fresh air. you're a breath of fresh air.

and maybe it's this realisation that convinces cirolanus to hover at your door for a little while longer. you turn to say goodbye, hands clasped in front of you, that tentative yet somehow confident smile playing at your lips.

you glance at his face, and immediately your entire demeanour shifts. his intentions - his desires - must be written all across his expression, but he doesn't even care right now. his heart is beating a hundred miles a minute, which can mean only one thing for him.

"cor. . ." you croak, sounding almost uncertain, but you don't move when he takes a step towards you. instead you let him take your hand and draw you close, so cose that the tips of your shoes touch his.

"cor," you repeat, clearer this time. "i don't want you to do anything you'll regret."

he nearly laughs. "i'll only regret it if you want me to stop."

a huff of air escapes you. "no."

"no?"

"no, i won't ask you to stop."

those words send a shiver down his spine, and before the nerves can get the better of him, he draws you closer and presses his lips to yours.

it is like fire, andd melting, and gasping for air all at the same time. he questions what he's doing even as he can't bring himself to stop, hands trailing down your sides to grab and pull your hips against his. you gasp into his mouth, and he swallows the noise, lets it drive him.

"cor," you gasp. "are you sure?"

"i'm certain," he replies, trailing his lips down your neck, a move he has never done before, but it feels right in this moment.

you cling to his shoulders. "i'm - i'm district."

he pauses, wondering if he even heard you right, because why would you say that? "i know."

you slowly straighten up, increasing the distance between you and him. "just think about this. you're a very big-shot name in the capitol. my name is barely scraping by without being buried in the dirt. most people think i'm radioactive or something."

"that's not-"

"you don't have to lie, cor. i'm not oblivious. sure, it got better when you took me under your wing, but i don't think that protection stretches as far as. . . this." you gesture between the two of you, a sheepish expression on your face that makes coriolanus angrier than he cares to admit. here he is, opening himself up to you, and you're shooting him down because of the rancid opinions of other people.

he runs a hand down the side of his face, tucking his tongue into his cheek. "okay. i didn't think that mattered."

"of course it matters. this is your name on the line, your legacy."

"there is no legacy."

you scoff, infuriating coriolanus even more.

"what?" he demands, and he doesn't mean to raise his voice, but he can't help it.

"everyone knows the snow name," you say. "as pure as snow is white, capitol through and through. that's what makes you so respected around here."

coriolanus nearly laughs; if only you knew. and maybe that's why the conversation irritates him so much - you don't know. just like everyone else, you hear his surname and assume he has no problems, that he's always had everything he's always wanted. it would never occur to you that maybe coriolanus has no food in the tiny fridge at home, that his cousin is working two insufferable jobs so he can go to school and give their family a chance. you don't know, so you assume, and that makes you just like everyone else.

coriolanus swallows and looks to the floor. "so because i'm a snow, i can't kiss who i want?"

you pause, as if the weight of your comments have finally dawned on you. "no. it's just. . . for your sake, i want you to think-"

"i have been thinking," he bursts, the anger and frustration bubbling over before he can stop it. "i've been thinking a lot, and you're right. my legacy will be ripped to shreds if i'm caught interacting with district scum like you."

the words are a bomb. for a moment, all coriolanus can hear is whistling, the rest of the world silent, as if waiting with bated breath. you stare at him, mouth slightly agape, eyes wide. sometimes soriolanus forgets that you've never seen this side to him, that you're one of the only people he lets himself be calm around.

but the damage has been done, and coriolanus recognises that the second the words are out.

you open your mouth to say something, but the silence stretches on. all you can manage is a miniscule nod, a dismissive hand wave before you turn on your heel and walk away.

desperately coriolanus wants to go after you, but he's frozen. he's shocked, shocked that he slipped so badly, that he even had the ability to hurt you at all. so he swipes a hand over his face, turns and starts the shameful trek home.

----

he tries getting you to speak to him, but nothing works.

he doesn't deserve your attention. he understands that, and he usually isn't one to chase a lost cause, but this is different. it's like he can't help himself. everytime he sees you walking through the halls, he tries to meet your eyes, tries to get you to notice him, but it doesn't work. you duck your head down and scurry away, like he's radioactive.

"what's wrong with you?"

tigris flicks his ear, startling him from whatever thoughts have sucked him into a daze this time.

he twists, slapping her hand away with a scowl. "nothing. go away."

"go away," she mimics in a high pitched, ridiculous voice. "honestly coryo, what age are we?" she sits down, folding one knee over the other and leaning close so their grandma'am can't hear. "you can talk to me. you know that."

"i've got nothing to talk about."

"that's a lie. you've been moping around this house for the past two weeks; sejanus rang and asked if you were alright because you haven't been coming down to the after school club. nothing keeps you away from the after school club."

coriolanus rolls his eyes, because that's all he can do when his cousin is making fairly good points against his argument. all of it is true, of course - he has just been moping around, because he doesn't want to do anything besides talk to you, and if he can't do that, then he's going to spend his time moping around.

he messes with the frayed fabric of his dressing gown sleeve. "i don't want you worrying about me, tigris. things are tough enough on you as it is."

tigris's chocolate eyes soften. "don't be ridiculous." she grabs his hands, tugs them into her lap. "you're my family, corio. some of the only family i have left. if i don't have you, i don't have anything, so i need you to be okay. i need you to talk to me."

he closes his eyes; those are the exact words he said to her when she was struggling only a few months before, words that once felt so true it seemed ridiculous he had to remind her of them.

he inhales shakily. "am i a bad person?"

tigris reels back. "what? no. of course not. what makes you think that?"

"just. . . my behaviour. the things i do sometimes to make myself seem. . . in control, i guess."

"like what?"

coriolanus purses his lips and doesn't reply. tigris stares at his side profile, calculating whatever it is she feels the need to calculate before she slowly leans back on her stool and says, "oh."

coriolanus closes his eyes. "don't."

"this is about y/n, isn't it?"

"how did you-"

"what happened?"

coriolanus tips his head back. "why do women always have to have the details of relationship gossip?"

tigris nearly leaps from her chair. "relationship? oh, coryo!" she grabs his hands again, pulling him close to her. "when did this happen?"

"nothing happened," coriolanus confirms. "well, nothing. . . nothing that matters anyway. we kissed."

tigris squeals, all intentions of not notifying the grandma'am forgotten to her excitement. "coryo! and you didn't think to tell me?"

"why would i tell you? i just said it doesn't matter."

"of course it matters. you haven't kissed anyone in years!"

"i've been busy-"

"you're eighteen! these are the kinds of conversations you should be having with me, not updating me on how your portfolio is coming along, or what grade you got in your last class." she leans back again, smirking. "what happened then? give me all the details."

"what happened was i lost my temper and they ran off. that's what happened."

tigris's face falls; in her excitement, she must have forgotten that coriolanus isn't quite as excited about this entire situation as she is. he tilts his head to the floor, unable to look her in the eyes right now; he wants to be alone, and yes, he has been alone the past two weeks, but he needs more time to mope, more time to figure out how in the hell he can make this right again, because not having you here is killing him, and he can't-

"oh, corio."

tigris tugs him into a hug that he does not fight against. his head falls against her shoulder, hands limp by his sides, but she doesn't let go. she strokes her fingers through his blonde hair, slowly swaying back and forth in the same way she used to do when they were kids and his nightmares would get too bad.

"what did you say to them?" she asks, voice barely above a whisper, like she's afraid of startling him if she talks too loudly.

"i called them district scum."

tigris's chest pauses for a moment as she processes the words. "why would you do that?"

he pulls away, squeezes his eyes shut. "i don't know, tigris, that's what i'm trying to figure out. that's why i'm asking if i'm a bad person or not. there was no reason for it! i just. . . got so annoyed."

"why?"

and so coriolanus tells her the whole story from start to finish, letting it push through those barriers of shame and embarrassment, because that's where he's had them kept the past two weeks. even as he recalls the details, his face heats up with self-hatred, remembering how angry he got over nothing, remembering the way your face dropped, the way your lower lip wobbled just the tiniest bit before you walked away. it's these little details that have kept him up at night, these little details that have broken his heart so much he can't even face his friends.

tigris listens with a deadpan expression. when coriolanus finishes talking, she stares as if waiting for more, but there is no more to give, not unless she wants him to spontaneously combust right in front of her.

"so there you go," he mumbles. "i'm a dick."

"well, that goes without saying," tigris replies. "and y/n hasn't spoken to you since then?"

"y/n has barely looked at me since then."

tigris is silent for a moment. and then, "you were raised better than that, coriolanus."

he closes his eyes, bites his lower lip. "i know."

"and you're smarter than this." tigris leans forward, taps his knee to get his attention. "you know what the right thing to do now is, don't you?"

he looks at her, tilts his head.

tigris rolls her eyes. "you need to apologise. you need to go over there and tell them exactly what you just told me. if i can see how guilty you feel, they definitely will." tigris takes a hold of his hands. "do you trust me?"

coriolanus nods immediately, because of course he does.

"then trust that i'm not setting you up for failure right now. you need to go over to y/n's house and make sure they listen to you. if they accept your apology, great. if not, that's completely understandable - you walk away and leave them alone. but until you've explained your side of things, this story isn't over."

----

coriolanus can't think straight.

he's arrived at your door with no plan in mind, which really isn't like him. he prides himself on organisation, on knowing exactly what points he wants to make before he's even stepped foot in the room.

but this time, he has no clue what he's actually doing.

his head hurts, but he continues to replay the words tigris said to him on a loop. she's right, of course. he needs to get his point across, needs to explain himself so you understand why he did what he did, why he is the way he is, why you'd probably be better off with someone other than him, but please don't be better off-

"coriolanus, go home."

your voice comes from the speaker drilled into the pillar he's leaning against. he flinches back, nearly stumbling over his feet in the process.

he glances around warily, narrowing his eyes at nothing.

"go home, coriolanus," you repeat. "i don't want to talk to you."

"y/n," he says, because your name has been the only thing he's been able to think about lately. "y/n, please. this is ridiculous. we're two adults."

"what does that have to do with anything?"

"we should communicate. work stuff out."

you scoff, and it's that noise that boils coriolanus's blood, the noise that set him off the last time. even now he has to bite his bottom lip to stop some snarky remark from rising to the surface, something that will only make this entire situation worse.

"there's nothing to work out. i don't want to see you. in fact, i don't want to hear from you ever again; that's all."

he curls his fingers, nipping nails into his palms. "i want to explain my side of things."

a moment of silence. finally, the buzzer goes off and the golden gates swing open.

"you have five minutes."

coriolanus doesn't waste a second. he makes the trek up to your front door, delighted to see you already standing in the doorway dressed in a fluffy green dressing gown, arms folded over your chest. you scowl at him, but coriolanus can't hold back his smile, his pure pleasure at just seeing you in the flesh, your eyes meeting his after so many weeks of you avoiding him completely. he tries to ignore the red rims around those eyes, too scared to admit he may be the reason behind them.

"y/n," he says again.

"coriolanus."

"thank you for meeting with me."

you roll your eyes. "this isn't a meeting, cor. you're going to say what you have to say, and then you're going to leave me alone." you glance down at your bare wrist. "did i mention you have five minutes?"

he hollows out his cheeks, trying to think of the best place to start. he has so much to say, so much to explain that it's nearly impossible to organise it into one coherent speech, but he has to try. he has to get this right.

"okay," he begins, voice already shaky. "first of all, i think it's important that you understand how terribly sorry i am for what i said. i just. . . i lost my temper. i felt rejected and embarrassed, and i took it out on you. it was wrong. it was childish. it was uncalled for, and i'm sorry."

okay, apology out of the way.

"i've never felt this way about anyone," he continues. "i wanted so badly for it to work between us, but then you said all that stuff about my legacy and the snow name and i just. . . i don't know, y/n. i just panicked and let my temper get the better of me. i've never known how to handle my emotions any differently."

you stare at him, but he doesn't know what else to say. he's given you his truth, far more than anyone else in his life has ever received. all he can do now is hope you accept it, hope you can see just how genuine he is being.

after a moment, you look away, swipe your tongue across your lower lip, and coriolanus doesn't know if this is a good thing or not. he's never seen you look so. . . unbothered, almost, and that's what gets to him. you've always been so full of emotion, so ready for anything, yet right now you're staring at him like there's nothing left for you to give, like you've given up.

he swallows thickly. "please say something."

"i don't know what you want me to say, cor," you croak. "you called me district scum. do you know how hard that is to hear? my home - my district - was destroyed. my family and friends were wiped out in seconds. i would take being district scum over that any day, but here i am, trying to make ends meet, and trying to fit in with your. . . your type, and you just throw it back in my face like that."

he closes his eyes. "y/n. . ."

"because it's so easy for you," you continue, voice rising. "you can hurt other people's feelings as much as you want and face no consequences, because you're a snow."

his eyes snap open, that fury he struggles to control rising to the surface. "i've just told you-"

"it doesn't matter what you tell me. you've showed me how that surname protects you. you looked me in the eye, called me district scum, and now you're here, expecting me to forgive you just because."

"that's not how i wanted it to come across."

"but that's how it is."

"why are you just assuming? is it not possible for you to believe that my apology is sincere?"

you shrug, crossing your arms over your chest. "whether it is or it isn't, i don't accept it." you glance at your bare wrist again, the action making coriolanus's heart shatter. "your five minutes is up."

and with that, you step back into your house and shut the door, leaving coriolanus alone on your doorstep.

----

"how could they just do that to you?" sejanus asks, shaking his head as if in disgust. "you apologised!"

coriolanus shrugs, taking a sip of the too-strong coffee sejanus was kind enough to buy him, no questions asked. "it was humiliating."

"and you two had already kissed before this?"

"yep."

sejanus inhales sharply, tries hiding it by sipping from his own coffee mug. "that's tough."

"it is tough," morales says, sitting on sejanus's left with three plates worth of food stacked beside him. "but it just comes to show that the districts don't know what they're missing. in my opinion, y/n's made a big mistake not accepting your apology; it just means they're going to have to grapple for some respect for even longer, if they can even gain respect on their own."

coriolanus's stomach twists, but he says nothing. these are the kinds of comments he's been quietly listening to for the past two weeks, unable to respond lest his friends think he's let you won.

after the rejection, coriolanus knew he needed to get back to the way things were. he continued trying to get your attention, but in a much more subtle way, never letting his capitol friends see his eagerness, his excitement whenever you walked in a room. however, the hardest part of it all is trying not to show his anger when they make comments like this, comments they expect him to agree with because he is just like them, has always been just like them.

sejanus does the arguing for him, which he appreciates.

"don't be so small minded," sejanus snaps. "you forget i'm district, too."

"hardly," morales scoffs. "your family has always had the capitols back. y/n on the other hand. . ."

coriolanus curls his fingers beneath the table. "can we talk about something else? this really is a pointless conversation."

"i agree," sejanus quips. "i find talking to ignorant people quite unproductive."

"oh for-"

"did you just call me ignorant?"

morales stands, chair scraping against the tiled floor. coriolanus sighs, dipping his head into his hands as sejanus rises to meet morales face-to-face. around them, the dining room grows quiet, all heads turning in their direction; coriolanus scans the area for a quick, subtle get away, but comes up short.

he's going to have to step in.

slowly he stands, places a hand on sejanus's chest. "calm down, boys."

"no way; this little bastard thinks he can say whatever he wants just because he's different. well, i've had enough, and i'm not putting up with it any more!" morales exclaims.

coriolanus nearly laughs, but manages to hold it in. morales was born to very, very rich and protected parents, very high up in the capitol. his family spent their time in a bunker during the war, probably don't know the extents of what happened above ground to this day. imagining morales trying to fight a man like sejanus is almost impossible.

"yes, i'm sure you'll put him right in his place," coriolanus drawls. "but time and place, men, time and place. let's leave this little tiff for later, alright?"

morales meets his eyes, fury still building behind his dark irises. coriolanus merely raises a brow, and a moment later, morales has grumbled some obscenities beneath his breath, swatted a cup off the table, and stormed out.

the dining room erupts back into it's usual chatter, and coriolanus sits down to finish his coffee.

sejanus sighs, sitting next to him. "there it is. the coriolanus we all know and love."

"that entire argument was pointless," coriolanus grumbles. "i wish you two would have a bit more common sense than to start a scene in the middle of the dining room."

"i wasn't going to do anything," sejanus replies. "i knew you would step in eventually."

coriolanus rolls his eyes, but can't help the tiny smile that arises. at least that was a moment of normalcy, a moment where he could present his best self without feeling like a fraud.

sejanus nudges him. "i think you impressed some people, too."

he turns towards where sejanus is motioning, and his heart flips at the sight of you staring right at him. you don't even look away when your eyes meet his, though you make no move towards him, either. coriolanus offers the tiniest smile, a test of the waters, but you simply purse your lips and go back to the conversation taking place at your table.

still, it's something. a taste of interaction coriolanus hasn't been granted in weeks.

"be honest with me, coryo."

coriolanus forces himself to look at sejanus, to take his eyes off you for a moment. "hm?"

"are you still trying to make things work with y/n?"

coriolanus freezes. if anyone else had asked him that question, he would immediately put on the mask, laugh, call them ridiculous for thinking he would waste his time with something such as romance. but this is sejanus, the man who is a little bit smarter than the rest of his friends, a little bit more grounded, a little bit more present. chances are, he's been watching coriolanus closely, picking up on all the subtle marks coriolanus has been trying desperately to hide the past few weeks. would lying even be worth it?

it doesn't matter. sejanus takes his momentary silence as answer enough, tilts his head with a tiny smile.

"i thought so."

coriolanus folds his arms upon the table, deflating. "you think it's ridiculous."

"i think it's romantic," sejanus corrects. "it's been a long time since i've seen you pursue something. . . worthwhile."

coriolanus scoffs. "my education hardly isn't worthwhile. i have a future to still work towards."

"and do you want that future to include y/n?"

"yes. of course."

he says it so quickly, because of course. from the day he met you, no part of him ever wanted to be away from you, even on the worst days. it was a comfortable feeling, like slipping under warm covers after a long day in the cold. it wasn't a question, never something to be debated. from day one, you slotted into his idea of a future so perfectly, it was as if he knew you from birth.

and it's that realisation that makes him look over at you again. you've still got your head down, scribbling furiously in that little notebook that is always bulging out of your blazer pocket. he never asked what you write in it, but now he wonders if it's your thoughts and feelings, how many times his name appears, if you'll ever let him have a look.

but he'll never know, not if he doesn't put the effort in now, not if he continues letting everything else get in the way.

he looks to sejanus and receives only the tiniest smile, but it's all the encouragement coriolanus needs. without another word, he stands up and heads in your direction.

the minute you look up and see him walking towards you, your face drops. it breaks coriolanus's heart, but he keeps advancing, this new-found desperation driving him. you stand and make for the exit, prompting him to shout your name before making haste to catch up to you.

with the two of you in the near empty corridors, coriolanus has a chance to get your attention properly. he quickens just enough to grab your wrist and whirl you around to look at him, and it's then that he spots the tears trailing down your cheeks, then that his whole world seems to crumble around him. are those tears because of him? has he upset you even more, or do you miss him in the same treacherous way he misses you?

there is a brief moment of silence where he can do nothing but stare at you. you stare right back, which he supposes is a good sign, even if your eyes are filled with tears, and your hands are trembling, and you are yet to say a word. you're not running away. you're not cursing his name and leaving him to wallow in rejection again.

finally, he breaks the silence. "y/n."

your name. always just your name, like his brain can't come up with anything else to start a conversation.

your lower lip trembles. "what do you want, coriolanus?"

"you know what i want." he steps forward, fingertips brushing yours. "i miss you."

you close your eyes, releasing a shaky breath. "please don't say that."

"but i mean it," he presses. "i miss you, y/n l/n, district or not. i don't give a shit about my name, or what you will do to my legacy. i want you to understand me how i want to understand you."

"there's nothing to understand-"

"that's where you're wrong. that's where you've been wrong this entire time." he runs a hand through his blonde curls, trying to stay as calm as possible. he doesn't want to get ahead of himself, doesn't want to ruin yet another opportunity to make this right.

"it's partly my fault," he continues. "i never told you the truth about where i'm from, how my life has panned out since my father passed away. i kept the mask up with you like how i've done with everyone else, but i want that to change. i want to. . . i want you to understand me, y/n."

again, your lower lip trembles, and coriolanus can't help but reach out and brush a fingertip across your chin. your breath falters at the touch, making him realise this is the first time he's touched you like this in . . . forever. he's kissed your lips and held your hand, but not once has he ever allowed himself to be so careful, so meaningful with his touches.

not until now. not until you showed you're capable of breaking, that you need a delicate touch every now and then, too.

"i don't want to be stupid here, cor," you whisper. "all i have here is my dignity. i can't throw that away by forgiving the person who hurt me so badly."

coriolanus shakes his head, eyes drifting closed against his will. "i know i hurt you. i thought about it every day, beat myself up about it, asked myself why i am the way that i am." he inhales. "the way that i was, because this whole ordeal. . . nearly losing you . . . it's changed me, y/n. it's made me realise what's important, and it isn't my reputation, or my legacy, or impressing the right people." he opens his eyes, meets your own. "it's you. you're what's important."

your tears well up yet again, a fresh wave to accompany the ones that haven't even dried on your cheeks yet. coriolanus's chest squeezes, and it takes every fiber of his being not to draw you close to him, to hold you in the way he always so desperately craves. he doesn't know if that is allowed yet, if his words weigh enough for you to trust him like that again.

so he waits for the signal. he lets you take the reigns, watching your every move as you ponder on what he has just said, your own position in this situation. he listens to the hustle and bustle of the students now rushing from their classrooms as the bell for lunch sounds overhead, but coriolanus can barely hear it over the sound of his own heartbeat.

and then you take a step closer to him, a tentative one, prey approaching predator. slowly, you lift your hands and readjust the wonky top button on his dress shirt, and for a second, coriolanus panics that you may recognise it isn't made of one hundred percent silk, that it isn't brand new and freshly pressed by the best designers to grace the capitol.

but then you tug him closer, and he forgets everything.

your lips meet his, so different to the kiss from before. this one is slow, uncertain almost, but a promise that there will be a next time. he wraps his arms around your waist, tugging you closer and closer, if that is even possible. your own hands wind around his neck, as if afraid he's going to leave again.

never. never again. he promises that much to any higher being who will listen. this right here is all he needs to feel alive and normal, and when alive and normal is all he's ever wanted, why would he throw it away?

you pull away when it becomes clear that coriolanus has no intention of being the one to do so. a small smile graces your perfect lips, forehead dipped against his own. when you speak, your voice is breathless, tired, a whisper that sends a shiver down his spine.

"let's try this again."

he laughs, pecking your lips one last time. "take two."

#coriolanus snow #hunger games #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus fanfiction #coriolanus fanfic #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #tbosas coryo snow #tbosas fanfic #coryo snow #coryo snow fanfic #coryo snow x reader

[soldjermon]

Diagram#2 complete… Took too long. Part of Luigi's Mansion: Darkness Arises story- chapter 33 and beyond.

Alternate versions, full-size and parts of these pics are in the links below. Link to Google Drive Folder is here!

Full details without downloading onto computer-more detailed version Full details without downloading onto computer-less detailed version 3D model Poses help from NDY's 3D models This round for diagram took just as long compared to the last one… x-x thanks to work, exhaustion, distractions, and lack of motivations that are hit or miss some days- mostly miss though.

These pics of Luigi/Mr. L, Dark Illusion and Dark Super Dimentio are from the Luigi's Mansion: Darkness Arises story, chapter 33 and later; but the chapters after 33 were never released… So, these images are from the unreleased chapters that wasn't posted onto Ao3 currently, but are on google docs(that's not technically public). Dark Super Dimentio was going to be part of the final battle with Maya and King Boo, but that part of the story was never written currently- because the story had halted long before it even got there.

However, if I do get any incentives to post the later chapters(just letting me know if anyone wants to read the chapters), I'll start posting those chapters onto Ao3. Though eventually, I'll release them onto the site. Not sure when, however. Even then, the whole story was never completed unfortunately- even after the unreleased chapters ever do go up.

Anyway, here's some juicy information to why these pics were created. The Dark Illusion was created from the demon king Maya from the fabric on Luigi's overalls- since that part had the plumber's DNA on it and was able to pick up the memories and emotions of both the plumber/mechanic. The Dark Illusion targets Luigi/Mr. L to try to gain control of them when both halves were at their most weak and vulnerable; successfully taking control of them to create Dark Luigi- a force to reckon with and disrupt the progress of freeing everyone on the S.S. Friendship from the paintings and from their controlled ghostly form- as well as the life-death balance.. Luckily, the void missile attack from the modified poltergust G-00 - thanks to Hatty having the poltergust at the time - forced the Dark Illusion out of Luigi's body and freed him from the dark control. Void missiles can instantly slain a person into non-existance once launched and targeted to an evil being, but Luigi was fortunate- barely surviving that kind of attack twice and fully recovered with the help of the two docs on the S.S. Friendship and the silver hearts.

However, his soul was gravely damaged from the second void missile attack, and had-to recover somehow; in which his soul absorbed so much of King Boo's raw and tainted ectoplasm, it changed the green clad into a semi-specter once his own tainted soul reunites with his recovered physical body. This also caused both halves to fuse together for some time, though the ectoplasm won't last forever and will separate after some time has passed. It does, help with some ways- like being confident and cautious at the same time when needed for example.

During the final battle, a new and more demonic Dark Illusion shows up again, this time gaining so much power from the demon king Maya- transforms into the much more menacing Dark Super Dimentio; after knowing about Mr. L's fear of not wanting to become that kind of monster again from the paper-themed adventure(Super Paper Mario).

Enjoy the pics~ :3

Soldjermon

#Nintendo #Super Mario Brothers #Luigi's Mansion #Super Paper Mario #Luigi #Luigi nintendo #Mr. L #Dark Illusion #Super Dimentio #Dark Super Dimentio #Dark Luigi #Fusion Luigi #Boocille #Demonic Possession #Soul separating #Soul corruption #Soul fusion #The sinister and evil power of Dark Illusion #Soldjer's art

[yhwhsdaughter]

I think it was mine u accident deleted it 💀 but it's fine my request was an one-shot Illumi x GN reader with a son who look exactly like Illumi and the son could be 5-6 years old?

Yes, I think it was, my bad..! Not sure if this is what you wanted, but I hope you like it regardless.

He’s not great with children, to be honest, so you’d have to do most of the parenting—at least when it came to nurturing and caring for the child’s needs.

Your son, though he’s the replica of Illumi, is more expressive in his emotions and features. As a Zoldyck, he would’ve be expected to hone his abilities and would be taught nen at a young age—so, by the time he’s reached the age of six, he’s already being trained.

As the father, it would be Illumi’s responsibility to train your son in the ways of assassins, as it’s the family trade. I guess you can see that as a twisted form of father-son bonding….?

You’re definitely the favorite parent. Your kid respects Illumi, but is more attached to you which is why whenever he rebels or avoids his torture training, he’ll come to you, something that Illumi knows too well.

This tall mf will stand in the doorway of your shared bedroom like🧍🏻 “[Name], hand over our son.” Why does he say that like you’ve kidnapped him? Um, sir, the child ran away from YOU. If Illumi has used one of his needles on your son, he will have to deal with an livid spouse. Threaten to leave him bald if he ever pulls shit like that.

That said, he’s not a deadbeat dad, unlike Gin others. He… cares for the child in his own way. If Illumi is not on a mission, he will try his best to be involved. He wants you there too, of course, though he may not express it outright. Mostly because he thinks the child will behave more complacently if you’re present, but he enjoys your company too.

He’s also secretive about his affection. Why, exactly? You’ve yet to figure it out, though he probably sees it as training and keeping an eye out for potential dangers. For instance, if your kid had an interest in sports, Illumi would either attend in disguise or show up as his expressionless self. Don’t expect cheers coming from him but he’ll make sure to congratulate the kid.

He’s such a competitive dad though. If he sees another kid doing better than his, Illumi is already planning their downfall 😭 get this man away for the safety of everyone.

Picky with the friendships your son makes, but you’re there to interfere if he thinks about scaring someone.

“I want a family portrait.”

You’re sat in a comfortable chair, whilst Illumi—the head of your household, stands behind you, with a hand on your shoulder and the other on your child’s shoulder, who’s standing next to you.

I think Illumi wants a constant reminder of the both of you. Time is illusive, so he doesn’t want to blink and miss the years when he would play tag with his son (more like running and chasing for endurance).

Absolutely the type of father to hold his child like a grocery bag. It’s a bit concerning to you because the kid is just dangling there so loosely— like a kitten being grabbed by the scruff of its neck. To Illumi’s defense, he’s never dropped your son.

Illumi is tough parenting regarding your son’s usage of his abilities but other than that, he won’t be the type to scold the kid. I can’t imagine Illumi yelling at him or anything. On the contrary, he speaks to him softly in that monotone voice of his and actually spoils the child?

Overall, not the worst father; there’s a list of things he needs to work on but he can rely on you to help him with that :)

#✎ hxh #illumi x y/n #illumi x you #illumi x reader #h x h #hxh illumi #illumi zoldyck #reader insert #x reader #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter

[slvtforfiction]

Because I liked a boy

☆ Dreamwastaken X F!OC (rose)

☆ Angst

☆ Established ex partners

☆ Hope this one makes sense to anyone besides me :)

☆ If you are going to request: please check at the pinned post if requests are open,otherwise I will delete your requests which I have already been doing

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

Masterlist | Pinned Post

Rose 🌹

@/letsplayrose

because i liked a boy,out now :).

Hidden replies ^

@/dreamwastaken replying to @/letsplayrose

Proud of you!

_

User

@/randomuser1232

Anyone notice how dream and rose were so close and now she’s released a break up song….

_

Rose 🌹

@/letsplayrose

Wooo! Launch party was so much fun,thank u to everyone streaming,ur awesome !!

_

I lied my legs across his as we watched a movie,snacks of all kinds were laid out infront of us,my personal favourites ; thin mints.

Clay always got me some at the grocery store/anywhere he could find them,he always knew my favourites.

_

I sat on my bed that night,watching the streams on the new single rise and rise. I thought back to simpler times,maybe if we hadn’t have gotten together none of this would’ve happened.

I miss when relationships were away from online insight and I always had. Especially when the internet was ripping at my relationship.

_

“I love you.” I muttered as I lied my head on his chest,the trampoline had been made into a blanket fort by the boys so me and Clay could have some alone time.

“I love you too.” He whispered kissing my forehead. I basked in the peace and warmth his arms provided.

Who knew cuddling on trampolines

Could be so reckless.

_

Randomuser

@/randomtwtuser

She’s probably dated dream…I mean her loss LMAO

_

Random

@/random11467

(11/12 🧵)

What I think about dream and rose

They were definitely dating but then again I’m glad that we know their now broken up because she’s a slut anyway LOL

_

“The death threats are definitely becoming creative.” I laughed as an alternative to crying. He didn’t say a word,just pulled me into his chest as I began crying.

_

#1 trending in US

because i liked a boy

_

“Hey Nick what’s up?”

“Was that song about Clay?”

“Nick you know that’s not all it is.”

���I don’t think we should talk anymore.”

_

Now I had lost friends,I had lost my favourite person and boyfriend and I now was stuck between a fence.

The internet illusion would forever haunt me,not leaving me with normal friendships. My friendships are to be published and put infront of the whole world to judge.

I would never find someone like him again,I would never find the friends I’ve lost again and for now all I can do is sit here and cry.

I sat on my bed as I pushed my head into my pillows,I sobbed and sobbed. I sobbed so much I saw his reflection in my pillow until I fell asleep with the belief that I was still in his arms.

#spotify #smut #song #romance #cute #fluff #dreamsmp #dream smp #dreamwastaken #dream smut #dream x reader fluff #dreamwastaken fluffy smut #dreamwastaken smut #dreamwastaken x reader #dream #dreamcore

[writerblue275]

The One Who Could Break My Heart (Chapter 3)

Chapters 1 + 2

Inspiration: "Trouble" - EXO, "There's Nothing Holding Me Back" - Shawn Mendes, "On My Love" - Zara Larsson & David Guetta

Champion: Ezreal (Pilty!Ez)

Summary: After the many revelations of last night/early this morning, it's time to face the day, face yourself, and have a very important conversation with Ezreal.

Genre: Song-Inspired Fic

Type: A bit angsty (pining), but happy ending. Smuttish (18+ ONLY. Minors DNI.) Fluffy, especially towards the end. (What can I say? I like a happy ending.)

Gender: Comfortable with she/her pronouns? Past parts have been more implied AFAB, but this part not as much? Slight mention of potential future family plans but eh not specific how that could happen.

TW: Mention of nightmare/illusion of reader being harmed. Pining that is resolved. Suggestive stuff.

"Trouble" lyrics in red

"There's Nothing Holding Me Back" lyrics in green

"On My Love" lyrics in pink.

“I’m in trouble.”

As light filters through the linen curtain liners, you slowly start to wake up, getting your bearings straight. You and Ez are tangled together, him sleeping soundly and nuzzling your neck. You can’t help but gently turn your head and kiss his temple before freezing, your startled thoughts quickly waking you completely. No wait I shouldn’t do that…that’s too intimate…I don’t like him like that.

Eventually you gently untangle yourself, smiling softly at his small sleepy protest, and just watch him, thinking about how peaceful he looks. I’m one of the few people who ever sees him this way. I’m one of the few people who can help make him feel like this. God that makes me so happy…wait...wait wait. Wait why does that make me so happy?

It seems like the time has finally come to have a reckoning with yourself. You’re essentially alone with your thoughts and the messages from the emotional part of your mind are loud this morning. You know why it makes you so happy, (Y/N). It’s because you’re in love with him. Stop lying to yourself. You love him as more than just your best friend. You have for a while. You’re in love with Ezreal and you’ve gone and broken your own rule. Admit it.

You realize you’re becoming increasingly tense because of your thoughts. Not wanting to disturb Ez you decide to make a trip to your second favorite place in this large and beautiful home. The library. Reading will help me clear my thoughts and think about this logically, you silently decide. Because fucking hell I think I am in love with him and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose his friendship.

You very carefully slide out of bed, away from Ez’s warmth, already missing him, which just adds to the logic of your decision to go to the library. You quickly scribble a note for him on a spare piece of paper and stick it on his nightstand. Then you’re silently off into the slowly brightening house.

You make your way downstairs and quickly follow the well-memorized path to the library and quietly open the door. You’ve been coming to this particular room since you were a kid. It’s a magnificent space, filled from floor to ceiling with books. There’s even multiple floors with fun little ladders and staircases to use to get to the upper ones. It’s a book-lovers dream.

You find a pile of books on the center of the table, all covering the area of Shurima Ez was in, and many of them specifically covering tombs, both discovered and legend. You realize this must be the pile of manuscripts he used as research for his last expedition. You can’t help but wonder if there’s anything in there that explains why Ez specifically saw you in that one trap. You’re alone with these texts, so you might as well look.

You bring the pile of books with you to place on a side table situated next to a plush arm chair. You curl up in the chair with your knees drawn up for you to rest your book on. You select the first book from the top of the pile. It’s an old leather bound journal, a predecessor to the type of journal you know Ezreal takes his notes in. You slowly start flipping through the pages, but it isn’t long before your thoughts completely distract you from your intended task.

Am I sure I want to know the answer? What if it’s nothing? What if the curse just shows a random friend the person entering is close to? I’m going to emotionally hurt myself. And for what? I know what will happen if I tell him. He doesn’t feel the same way. I remember what he said a year and a half ago. He didn’t want any further feelings involved than what our friendship is. Not to mention I told him dating him would drive me absolutely insane. It’s one of the reasons he suggested this arrangement in the first place. If I tell him? All of this will be finished. Certainly no more physical things with him, which is probably for the best at this point because emotions are involved. But now? This friendship has crossed a line that can’t be undone. Fuck, can we even save it? Have I doomed myself to lose my best friend?

As your mind keep racing, everything eventually becomes too much, especially the thought of losing Ezreal as even a friend. That is just unbearable to ponder. You never wanted to push your best friend away, but even with these fears racing through your mind, you know you have to tell him. You've never lied to him before and you won't start now about something so important.

I’ll tell him today, you decide. I just need to go pack up my things so I can leave and save my dignity after what is sure to be a horrifically awkward conversation. You set the book down and put your head in your hands as the worst case scenarios keep flashing through your mind.

Before you can stop yourself, you feel tears start rolling down your cheeks. You try to control your breathing as a lump forms in your throat but your efforts are futile. Eventually a soft sob makes its way out, followed by a louder one and then another until you’re just having a full break down. You sob brokenheartedly into your hands as you realize what a terrible, terrible mistake you’ve made. You’re sobbing so much that you don’t even hear the library door eventually quietly open behind you.

A warm hand lands on your shoulder and a sleepy voice filled with alarm sounds softly next to you, “(Y/N)?? (Y/N) holy fuck, what happened? Tell me what’s going on, princess. Are you hurt? (Y/N), look at me. Angel, please look at me. What’s going on?? Why are you crying?”

You look to the side where the voice is coming from, meeting the extremely sleepy and very concerned gaze of Ezreal who is kneeling next to your chair. He looks so genuinely worried, which is so uncharacteristic for him, and he’s so gentle as he hugs you close to him. It just makes you cry harder as you cling to his t-shirt. This is what you’re going to lose because your own emotions betrayed your logic.

Ezreal just hugs you tightly and rubs your back until you’ve calmed down significantly. Then he moves another arm chair so it’s next to yours, angles it towards yours, and takes your hand once he sits. “(Y/N)…please tell me what’s going on…” he says as his thumb rubs soothingly over your knuckles.

You sniff and wipe your eyes with a handkerchief he manages to find and give to you. “Ezreal we need to talk. Something’s happened…” you trail off as more tears start streaming down your cheeks and another sob escapes.

He gently squeezes your hand. “(Y/N) please tell me what’s happened. Whatever it is. I want to help, princess, always. Have I done something wrong? You seemed to cry harder when you saw me..if I did something please, please tell me. I’ve never seen you like this before, and that’s saying something because I’ve seen you cry about many things over the time we’ve known each other,” his voice is practically a soft beg as he frets over you. “Are you hurt? Are you sick??” His face pales and he momentarily pauses as it’s clear a thought crosses his mind. “(Y/N), y-you’re not p-pregnant, right? I hope you w-wouldn’t be afraid to tell me if you were, even though t-that would…uh c-certainly be a b-big thing.”

His reaction to the idea brings a wry little smile to your face as you watch him. “No, I’m definitely not pregnant, Ezreal. First of all, you and I are both incredibly careful, and secondly, if I somehow was, I’d never hide that from you. That would be a terrible thing for me to do,” you reassure him softly.

You notice him relax a bit. “Ok, so you’re not pregnant. Then what is it? What has you so upset?” He asks curiously.

“Maybe I should stop and start confessing.”

“I don’t know how to tell you this and I don’t know what to do, Ez,” you let out on a sigh. “You know the eight rules we laid out when we started sleeping together a year and a half ago? Your four and my four?”

He confirms with a nod and a soft “yes I remember.”

“Well…I promised you when we were kids that I’d never lie to you, right? So I should just go ahead and tell you. So…I realized very recently…like extremely recently, that…that I’ve gone and broken my own rule number four…” you admit, your voice getting quieter and quieter as your anxiety grows. You look up at him and bite your lower lip as you wait for him to realize that particular rule is, “No falling in love with each other.”

“Your rule number four,” he whispers more so to himself than to you as he thinks. You can pinpoint his exact moment of realization. He suddenly freezes, his eyes going wide as he looks at you. Besides his wide eyes, you really can’t tell what he’s thinking and it frightens you.

“(Y/N)…your rule number four…” he murmurs slowly, as if making sure he’s not mistaken.

You flinch a little and look down into your lap. “Yup. Somewhere along the line, it seems I’ve fallen in love with you.” You look back up at him and give him a sad little smile. “It’s ok Ez. You don’t have to say anything. I know you don’t feel the same. Why would you? You very clearly said you didn’t want deeper feelings involved than our friendship. I’ve already accepted that. I understand your reasons and I respect them. I think if we end our physical relationship now, I can move on and not lose you completely. My own silly emotions are putting my most treasured friendship at risk and I’ll be completely honest, I’m terrified. I can’t lose having you in my life, Ez. I just can’t. That would kill me,” you know you’re rambling at this point but you can’t help it. Your anxiety over all this is just causing you to word vomit.

Ez comes over and hugs you tightly. “You won’t lose me, (Y/N). First of all, you’ve been my best friend, my partner-in-crime, hell, my person, for almost 20 years. I’m certainly not about to just throw two decades out the window. Secondly, why do you think you know what I’ll say, princess? I’m a different man than I was a year and a half ago. Hell, I’m a far different man than I was two months ago.” He steps back and looks down at you.

You look up at him as your eyes fill with tears again, softly begging, “Ez, please don’t. Don’t do this to me. Don’t give me false hope. I know you’re not cruel. Just tell me no. Tell me no so I can move on. Don’t let me make a fucking fool of myself, Ezreal.”

His voice is gentle, but firm, “(Y/N). Stop. Please stop so I can say what I need to say. You told me what you needed to tell me. Well funny enough, there’s something I need to tell you, too.” He grabs one of the books you were reading and flips to a pre-marked page, quickly scanning it.

Once he finds what he’s looking for, he lays the book on the side table next to you and points to a specific section. “(Y/N) read this page. Please. Especially the third paragraph down. It’s about the curse. It explains why I saw you specifically and not someone else,” he says as he sits back down in the chair next to you.

As you read that page, out of the corner of your eye you see him continue to open other sources to the pages you assume correspond to the Tomb of the Fallen Lovers. You turn your focus on what he wants you to read. The delicate and well-worn page of the ancient journal discusses the different known traps of that specific tomb.

The section he pointed out specifically covers the illusion trap. You focus on the words intently as your curiosity spikes. “Those who enter the tomb will see the one they romantically love most tortured, just as the king saw happen to his beloved queen. Believed to do so in order to most effectively break the will of the person who enters by making it seem like they failed to keep the person in their heart safe.”

You quickly look up at Ezreal. “Ez?” You ask quietly.

Ezreal just nods and pushes the other books in front of you. “Read these too. I’ve marked relevant passages. I know you. You do research. You like sources. You want proof. Here is your academic proof from first and second-hand historical accounts, princess. Read,” he says, using a voice you know very well. It’s a voice he uses in the bedroom often with you. It’s affectionate and gentle, but it’s still undoubtably commanding.

You find yourself almost scrambling to obey him, just as you have the other lovely times in your life he’s used that voice on you. You pull each of the books closer and read where he’s marked. They also say the same thing. You see the person you love the most romantically in the illusion. After finally finishing the last page he marked, you look back up at him with wide eyes, almost trembling a little bit as you still struggle to fully believe what you’ve just read.

You murmur, “You said at Hoskel’s party that it was just a general loved one that people saw. You didn’t mention romantic love. Ez? Is this true?”

He pauses for a moment and then nods. “It is. When I went in, I didn’t think I’d see anyone. A year and a half ago, I told you that I didn’t need deeper feelings in my life beyond what already existed in our friendship. I didn’t think the trap would work on me because I didn’t think I “loved” anyone like that. Then I saw you in that trap and it felt like my heart stopped beating,” he says, pausing to take a breath as if steeling himself to remember what came next.

After a moment, he continues, “The absolute terror that went through me the moment I heard your voice and saw you in that illusion. The fury I felt towards those I saw hurting you in the illusion. The pure anguish I felt when I couldn’t save you…it was as if the world went dark in my eyes. When I told you last night a life without you wasn’t living to me, I meant every single word. I had a glimpse of what that would be and feel like. I was in hell thinking I didn’t have you in my life anymore. I was in the deepest parts of hell until I finally remembered you were still here in Piltover, perfectly safe. I’m not sure I can properly express how fucking relieved I was to realize it was just an illusion. It was like taking a first breath of air after thinking you’re drowning.”

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair before looking into your eyes as he talks, “That’s when I realized I’d been completely lying to myself. Turns out I also broke your rule number four. I’m so in love with you, (Y/N). I’ve just been trying to work up the courage to tell you. Believe it or not, I also didn’t want to fuck up our friendship. Having you in my life means everything to me. I didn’t think you felt the same way. Why would you? A year and a half ago you said dating me would be a one way express ticket to driving yourself insane. The last thing I ever wanted to do was cause you unhappiness. So I just….tried to hide my feelings. Or I suppose I just loved you silently, in the small ways, by doing small things. Taking care of you and trying to make you happy because doing so makes me happy.”

You can’t help but melt at how sincere he looks. Your voice is soft, “Oh Ez…so that’s why you’ve been so sweet lately. Well you do make me very happy. Seeing your sweet side also made me very happy, but it was just all so confusing once I realized I didn’t see you as just a friend anymore.” You reach over and gently cup his cheek, smiling softly at how he eagerly leans into your touch, turning his head and kissing your palm softly.

Your thumb rubs his cheekbone as you muse, “I had my realization at Hoskel’s party last night. It’s why I got so distracted and tensed up while we were dancing. My feet were actually starting to hurt, so I didn’t lie about that, but it was the other realization that made me so physically anxious. I realized I’ve been falling in love with you for a while and that I was well and truly sunk. I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t believe there was any way you felt the same. The very last thing I wanted to do was push you away, but I knew I couldn’t lie to you or not tell you.”

Ez stands and opens his arms for a hug. You gladly jump up from your chair and walk directly into his waiting embrace. As he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, you nuzzle his neck and let out a happy sniff, a few more tears trickling out.

“I hope those are happy tears I feel, Angel,” he murmurs. He then chuckles softly as he feels you nod. Both of you just stand there, holding each other tightly for a minute as these new revelations sink in for both of you.

Eventually, you have a thought that breaks the idyllic joy of the moment, and you have to voice it. “Ezreal…there’s still stuff we need to talk about,” you murmur quietly. “What are we going to do? We love each other, yes, and that makes me so damn happy. However, your career…you’re gone so often a-and for so l-long. It s-sucks when you’re gone. I miss you so t-terribly, but I’d never ask you to stop exploring and adventuring. It’s your passion. Your drive. You’re so damn good at it. If I asked you to give it up, I fear you’d come to regret me. That’s something I couldn’t bear…”

“I'll pay the price, I'll sacrifice; That's on my love, yeah”

He nods and kisses your cheek. “You’re right baby, this is something we must talk about,” he replies, thinking for just a moment. “How about some compromising? Love is compromise and communication, right? Occasionally you should take some time off and come with me. It’s fun! I won’t make you go into any cursed or trap-filled places. In fact I definitely would rather you didn’t. I want you safe. This way though, you’d at least be there, and it wouldn’t be as terrible for either of us since we’re together. I’m researching some potential smaller expeditions closer by that would be perfect.”

You think for a moment before smiling and nodding, liking the idea. “You know I love history, especially ancient history. I’ve always been jealous you get to see these incredible sites, so it would be amazing if I got the chance to see some myself,” you reply.

He smiles and kisses your forehead before murmuring, “I do know and I’ve always wanted to show them to you and see your face light up as you see the history in front of you. As for my compromise, when I do come home, I’ll stay home longer in between expeditions. Either I’ll stay enough time to match the length of the expedition, or at least 3 months, whichever is longer. I say at least 3 months because believe it or not, it’s really hard to leave you, you know. I hate leaving you. So I may not even want to leave here after 3 months to go travel,” he concedes.

You tighten your arms around him and smile a little. “I’ll certainly do my best to make you not want to go. I hate it when you leave me, even though I know you’re doing incredible things and I’m wildly proud of you. You’re amazing, truly,” you say.

Ez leans forward and kisses your forehead, murmuring against your skin, “This way I’ll have more time with you between expeditions. It’ll also give me more time to better research the locations I’m going. I sometimes wing it more often than I probably should.” You can feel him flinch a little as he admits this to you.

You just let out a teary laugh and nuzzle his cheek. “Fucking hell, Ezreal! Don’t tell me that. That will just make me worry more. I do like these compromises, though. I think traveling together might be fun! Or we’ll kill each other, but hey that’s part of the excitement,” you let out on a giggle. You take a breath before continuing, “and knowing I get more time with you here at home makes me very very happy.”

He smiles. “It makes me very happy too. I’ll also give you a key to the house and tell my uncle you’re welcome to it while I’m here or away. I know you enjoy wearing my clothes because they smell like me, yeah? I might as well give you the chance to steal some whenever you want.” He gently smirks at you.

You blush deeply and hide against his shoulder again as you nod. “Y-yes please. It’s extremely comforting to have something of yours when you’re gone. Are you sure your uncle would be alright with me having a key? I wouldn’t want to be a bother” You look back up and meet his gaze.

“I truly don’t think he’ll have an issue with that. He knows we’re close. He’s always been fond of you since you manage to keep me mostly in line. He likes to say you’ve done ‘a hell of a job protecting this family’s name and reputation.’” Ez’s smirk widens.

You can’t help but giggle. “I certainly try my best to keep you respectable, that’s for sure. But, that sounds good. As long as he doesn’t have an issue with it.” You smile softly at him. “And hey, maybe I could have dinner with him every now and then while you’re away. Or we could have dinner with him when you’re here. As much as the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye, he is your family, Ez, and I do want to get to know him better.”

His eyes soften. “I’ll talk to him about it. I know how important family is to you.”

You nod and softly murmur, “It means so much to me. And it will continue to mean so much to me as I continue into the future.”

Ez smiles and turns ever so slightly pink. “Speaking of the future..this is a long way away, but if, somewhere in the future, we…” his voice trails off and he blushes more, his voice shy as he continues, “..well, i-if our relationship goes to the next step and we e-eventually want to start a f-family of our o-own, I’m h-happy to adjust my e-expedition timelines even more.” He kisses your forehead.

Your eyes widen and you turn bright pink as you process what he says.

He murmurs against your forehead. “I love my parents, and I know they love me. Every day I hope they’ll come home, now more than ever so they can see you, see how you’ve grown up since we were little, and see how much I absolutely adore you. Both of them always liked you, you know, especially my mother. She’d be absolutely thrilled with this development,” he says, grinning.

You kiss his cheek and smile. “All my memories of your parents are fond ones, Ez. They were always so lovely to me.”

He lets out a sigh as he holds you closer. “My one regret, though, is how often and how long they were both gone. How much of my childhood it seems like they missed. I-I want to do things differently when I have a family of my own,” he admits to you. He seems to realize even more what he’s saying and he blushes even more, smiling at you shyly. “I apologize, I’m getting way far ahead of myself. Do you even want kids? It’s alright if you don’t. They’re not a necessity for me. Pets are fine too,” he rushes to add.

You giggle softly and gently peck his lips. “I have been thinking about getting a cat lately. I wouldn’t mind having kids, though, but only if they’re yours, Indiana Jones. I want to see you with a daughter, actually. Especially one with your eyes. I think that would be very cute,” you muse, picturing the adorable scene of future him playing with a little girl who has his golden hair and blue eyes. “But that’s not something we need to rush into. I’m happy to wait a while on that. We have time.”

He nods, his face lit up, before he rests his forehead against yours. “I agree, though I hope any kids we do have get your eyes, not mine. But you’re right. We’re young and we have plenty of time to make that decision if and when we’re ready for it. God I’m just so happy…” he murmurs, and you can hear the genuine joy in his voice. “(Y/N), I’m going to kiss you now. Like really kiss you. Is that alright?

You beam as you already start to pull him closer. “Of course, Ez…please do,” you murmur back happily.

You thread your hands in his hair as he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you against him. Before you know it, he’s kissing you completely breathless. His lips are fervent and his kiss is filled with so much emotion that once again, he has your legs going a little weak. He’s quite talented at making them do that at this point. You kiss him back in kind. Your lips move slowly against one another’s and it’s not until a few long moment later that you pull away slightly in order to catch your breath and slow your racing heart.

He rests his forehead against yours and looks you in the eyes as one of his hands moves to lace with one of yours. The love you see in his expression nearly undoes you. His gentle gaze travels over every bit of your face, as if memorizing how you look in this very moment. “God you’re perfect…and I love you so damn much,” he murmurs, his soft voice full of emotion.

You smile, blush, and cup his jaw with your free hand, murmuring back, “And I love you, Ezreal. So very much. So what do you say? Let’s officially end our best friends with benefits arrangement and start an actual relationship? With dates and cheesy shit?”

He grins and nods. “Absolutely, princess. Although let’s be honest with each other, we were sort of already doing dates and cheesy shit, both of us were just in wild denial about it,” he says, a touch of humor coloring his voice.

You smile as you blush even more. “Now that I think about it, you’re right. We were basically a couple in every way but name.” You giggle.

His expression softens as he continues, “Let’s make one thing very clear though,” he gently kisses your forehead. “You’ll always be my very best friend. I just also happen to be very in love with you.”

You smile and murmur, “I couldn’t have worded it better myself.” You sigh and close your eyes. “I’m sorry for leaving you alone in bed this morning…I just…I got overwhelmed and needed to try and sort all of this out in my head.”

Ez kisses you softly. “It’s alright baby, I understand. This is an excellent spot to think in. But now that we’ve figured it all out….please come back to bed with me?”

“You take all my inhibitions. Baby, there’s nothing holding me back.”

You sigh again, this time happily, and let out a breathless giggle as his lips move to start traversing along your jaw and throat. As he does so, his hands grip your hips to keep you close to him.

“You and your ability to turn me into god damn putty. How could I refuse such a lovely and polite request. I’m in love with such a gentleman,” you playfully say. You smirk as you feel his fingers dig into your hips a little bit more.

Before you can even register what’s happening, you’re looking down at Ezreal’s returning smirk as he carries you out of the library.

You let out a gasp and instinctively wraps your legs around his waist, causing his smirk to widen. “Ezreal!” You exclaim on a delighted laugh.

He just chuckles in return. “Do you think anyone will be surprised we’ve gotten together?”

You can’t help but blush. “I don’t think my family will be very surprised, considering their suspicions regarding the hickeys you left on me. What about your uncle? Will he be shocked?”

He grins and shakes his head. “Probably not, to be honest. As I said, he knows we’re close. I’m sure he’s had his own suspicions over the years.”

“I’m curious if other people outside of our families suspect something. Based on Hoskel’s words last night as we were leaving…well it seems like everyone but us knew,” you giggle as you play with his hair.

“They don’t know for sure though. We could have some fun with them,” he says as his expression turns mischievous.

Your eyebrows go up at the suggestion. “You really think we could control the narrative for a while? As soon as there’s a whiff of a rumor, you know they’ll jump on it,” you murmur.

He leans up and nips your jaw before pulling back and grinning at your soft whine. “I know you hate being the center of society’s attention. Why not keep our happiness to ourselves for a little longer? Though I’m not going to deny our relationship if someone asks us directly, of course. I’ll be quite happy to be known as yours.”

You blush happily and kiss his cheek. “So considerate. And I’m very happy being publicly known as yours too. But I do like the idea of keeping things low-key for now. Let’s do it. Let’s cause some eventual chaos for the vultures.”

Ez sets you down on the bed so you’re sitting at the edge, while he’s still standing between your legs. You take the chance to lower your arms and slide your hands back up under his shirt. His head tilts back in a happy sigh.

“‘Cause chaos?’ You weren’t kidding earlier this morning, Angel. I really have corrupted you a little bit,” he chuckles.

You smirk and gently pull his shirt collar down so his face is level with yours. “Only you know how much though.” You wink at him. “After so many years with you, I suppose ‘lady in the streets, freak in the sheets,’ is the energy I’ve been going for. Since you’re the only one who has seen me and will see me in both settings, have I been successful at it?” Your smirk widens as your question causes his eyes to darken.

He lays you back and crawls over you, leaving a trail of kisses random places on the way up. He pauses so his lips are right above yours as he murmurs, “My love, you’ve succeeded at that goal just as you’ve done everything else you’ve set out to do. With excellence.”

Your face lights up as he calls you “my love.”

Ez smiles gently and pecks your lips. “What is it, princess?”

You blush happily as you look up at him. “Say it again. Call me your love again.”

His grin grows. “Do you like pet names, my love? I had no idea.” His voice is dripping with playful sarcasm as he winks back at you.

You laugh and gently swat his shoulder. “Bullshit, Ezreal. You might have started calling me “princess” when we were kids, but you certainly don’t mean it innocently anymore. And you know I know that.”

His grin shifts to a smirk as you talk. “I will neither confirm nor deny I had this knowledge. Do I have permission to call you pet names?”

You lean up and kiss him, murmuring, “Permission enthusiastically granted as long as I may call you more pet names in return.”

He nips your bottom lip before his lips travel to your right ear. His voice is like a low purr as he murmurs, “Absolutely, princess. Call me whatever you want. I just want to be yours.”

You sigh happily and turn your head so you can kiss him, your hands starting to tug his shirt up his back. “When you said come back to bed, handsome, I figured we’d be going to sleep again,” you tease.

“Didn’t you say earlier this morning that I’m your favorite sleep aid? That my methods make you feel the best? What sort of partner would I be if I didn’t make myself useful for you? As I’ve said before, happy to be of service, my princess. Thrilled you could even say. Shall I figure out the proper dosage to help you fall asleep?” he teases back smugly. His calmer voice is very much at odds with his actions as he practically tears his shirt off in his eagerness.

You grin widely at him. “Sounds great to me. Thank goodness I have such a caring boyfriend who is so concerned about me getting the rest I need.” Your voice is very playful as your hands rest on his now-bare chest.

His face lights up brightly as you call him your boyfriend. He leans down again and kisses you hungrily for a moment before pushing back up and grinning down at you.

“Now, Ez, you know I’m a person of science. So tell me, what method are you trying first?” Your eyebrows go up and you bite your lip as you gently start to move a hand down his chest.

Ez leans down and nibbles along your collarbone, causing you to gasp softly. “You know, it is breakfast time…and oh! Looks like I have my favorite meal under me. What a coincidence, hrm?” He murmurs against your skin before looking up at you while one of his hands travels to your thigh and gently traces shapes into the soft skin. He winks, causing your cheeks to go bright red.

It’s amazing how easily he can fluster you. “Well how convenient for you! I believe it’s always nice to really take your time and savor your favorite meal…after you quickly start enjoying it, that is,” you whisper breathlessly.

“Great minds think alike, Angel,” he murmur. He pushes up the shirt of his you’re wearing to expose your stomach so he can lean down and start leaving marks. “So you’re amenable to me having ‘breakfast’ then?”

“Yes, Ezreal. Now, please.” You can definitely hear the impatience in your voice as you gently use your nails to scratch lightly along his scalp. “A preemptive ‘thank you for making me see stars,’ Indiana Jones.”

He leans back up and kisses you deeply again for a moment before smirking and whispering against your lips, “And a preemptive ‘sweet dreams’ for you, my princess.”

Then he starts kissing back down your body and well, let's be honest, it really doesn’t take too long for you to get to enjoy your sweet dreams of him.

EPILOGUE

“If you were by my side and we stumbled in the dark; I know we’d be alright, I know we would be alright.”

(Five months later)

“Are you ready, princess? We’re almost there,” Ezreal’s soft voice fills the small carriage the two of you are traveling in. Though, unlike the last time you traveled to Councilor Hoskel’s mansion, where you were sat next to him on the bench of the carriage, this time you’re happily settled in a much more preferable position. You’re on Ez’s lap, nuzzling his cheek. He’d just returned from another 2-month-long expedition a couple days ago and both of you just couldn’t get enough of being in each other’s arms again. You're sure everyone is sick of the two of you, but you really can't find two fucks to give. Your favorite person is finally home again.

You gently pull back and smile at him, nodding. “I suppose so,” you say. "Though I'd much rather be a little selfish and have you to myself tonight, if I'm being honest."

Ez tilts his head and smirks widely at you before pecking your lips. "I assure you, the feeling is entirely mutual, baby, but my uncle and your family are coming this time and we promised them we'd attend. I'd rather not have them hunt us down to make sure everything is alright," he murmurs affectionately.

You smile as you think about your family and his uncle. You both told them about your new relationship status first. As predicted, none of them were shocked in the very slightest. The nerve-wracking part was over. Then it was time to have a little fun with everyone else.

The fun part came at the next society event Ez was invited to, a couple weeks after the original event at Hoskel’s. You and him coordinated outfits to match colors, your dress to the vest he wore under his suit jacket. This was just cute, classic, and easy thing to do but boy did tongues wag. You’d been his plus one for years, but the two of you never coordinated colors so precisely before now. The fact you did had rumors flying from the moment you and him stepped into the event space.

A month after that, there was also the much less subtle incident involving a lipstick print on the side of his jaw neither of you realized was there. It obviously matched your lipstick color of choice for the evening. The gossip reporters and photographers had an absolute field day with that one. You’d never felt so mortified, but Ez reassured you, through the power of many cuddles and kisses, that it was completely fine. He reasoned that it just ripped the band aid off letting everyone else know. Besides, he was ecstatic to be widely known as yours.

Thankfully, now you can look back on it and laugh. It was pretty funny in hindsight, and it definitely confirmed everyone’s pretty strong suspicions at that point that the two of you were together. If anything it made things easier since you didn’t have to hide your small moments of public affection with him anymore.

“You know I’ll always be proud to be by your side, right, Indiana Jones? Because I am incredibly proud of you and I love you very much,” you say.

“I know that and I’m very honored to be worthy of your love, (Y/N). I love you too.” Ezreal says, pecking your lips as the carriage slows. “Ready to face your adoring public again, princess?”

You giggle and take his hand, squeezing gently as you wink at him. “Absolutely! With you, Ez, I’m ready to face anything.”

And there we go! The end! I was finally able to sit and finish my edits. Thank you long weekend! And thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! As I mentioned at the end of chapter 2, this probably won't be the end of works in this universe. I'm in Ezreal brainrot at the moment (I blame the heavenscale skin splash arts. Obsessed with how Ez looks for both his regular and prestige skins).😅

#ezreal #ezreal fic #ezreal x reader #ezreal fluff #ezreal smut #ezreal angst #reader insert #league fanfic #lmao love using an ATLA gif for this

[ectospacecadet]

Post AGIT SPOILERS

Dark Danny character arc

Ok so Dark Danny, or Dan for short, is now in a clone body of his past self. Cool. Personally I’d like to think that Clockwork made the transfer possible by having Dan’s time ectosignature be back to Danny’s own in this timeline. So he’s not got a 24/50-something year old ectosignature anymore BUT he still retains his memories of course. So he’s basically 16-17 years old now.

Why do I think his ectosignature being resynced to this timeline, so that he’s 16-17, should be a thing? Well mostly because I can see the darker NSFW side of this fandom rubbing their hands together and saying “well he’s an adult technically”, need I say more? 🤢

Anyway, aside from that, where can I see Dan’s character growth in the series?

Well, he’s human again for the first time in 12-13 years, he’s going to have to deal with teenage hormones once again. That’ll suck. Imagine going through puberty 3 times?

I don’t think he can go into his human form at first, I feel that seeing his own true human face would give him some form of PTSD. “Well he didn’t react before in UE” Because it was an illusion, not his actual human face. It’s different when it’s a fake face, but when it’s the same, flesh and blood, that you killed? That’s going to hit hard.

This is something he can work on with Vlad, giving Dan a chance to open up about all the wrong he did in his timeline, Vlad has no idea what Dan did, he just knows he’s a messed up ghost hybrid of himself and Danny.

———

I don’t think Dan will be at 100% power, not because he’s reverted to his 17 year old state, but because he’s still recovering from that battle. It doesn’t just mess with him physically but also mentally, so he trains at first but eventually it leads to a hesitant therapy treatment with Jazz.

This also gives Dan room to talk to Jazz about what he did to her, his own guilt towards that, and how he sees his family. Remember, he tried to kill them twice now, that’s going to really effect him. He lost his family from a stupid accident, but knowing he actually wanted them intentionally dead? How messed up is he that he would try to kill his family? How will he react now to seeing them and how affectionate they are with Danny?

As for Sam and Tucker, I think he’ll get jealous of that too, he tries to reconnect with them but it’s a bit difficult when he also tried to kill them. I don’t doubt that he’ll admit to them that he really did miss them, he says so himself in UE, his reaction when they hug him leaves him in a stunned shock too. Then he snaps out of it when Tucker insults him xD But yeah, I think he will try to befriend them again but shortly realises that their friendship wont be like before, that he needs find new friends.

———

Another thing, Vlad’s clones. UE takes place BEFORE Kindred Spirits, meaning that Dan had no idea that the clones existed, so how do you think he’ll react to seeing those for the first time? “What, you had a bunch of these just lying around?” Vlad can explain it all to Dan, about how dozens failed, “died”, and that’s gonna really piss him off.

Then Vlad lets him know about Danielle, a clone that somehow survived the process and surpassed the other clones despite being ‘imperfect’. Dan goes to find her in the GZ at some point, using Vlad’s own ecto-signature tracking device (based on the Boo-merang), he finds her in the frozen Tundra with Frostbite.

She’s with Frostbite because now she’ll be 14-15, meaning her ice powers started to kick in as Danny’s did, so Danny lead her to Frostbite’s world. It’s here that she stayed, found a home and her own identity. Her new name is Ellie. Dan then trains to learn how to use his own ice powers but struggles as he’s got two infused ghost cores. In these training sessions he learns more about Ellie and asks how she survived, he also relates to her more than just being his clone but also another one of Vlad’s ‘mistakes’. ✨Sibling energy✨

She explains that she’s regained her self confidence and her own identity, she liked being called Dani but felt that it was too close to being Danny, she didn’t just want to be ‘his clone’, she wanted to be herself. Dan takes a moment to consider this and offers for her to visit anytime, Vlad is trying to be better now.

———

Onto Valerie, Danny was only starting to have feelings for her around the time of UE, so Dan had those too. But obviously due to their animosity in the future and how he nearly kills her repeatedly, that’s gonna suck big time. He tries to get to know her again, much to Vlad and Danny’s dismay, Valerie isn’t exactly sure on how to feel about Dan since he looks so much like Danny. Which is explained with the statistic there’s an almost exact duplicate of you somewhere around the world, Danny found his and wanted to meet them, not only that but they had similar names, Dan being short for Dathaniel… Danny’s not great at making up shit on the fly, but Dan simply admits he uses the short version because of how dumb the long one is. I also believe that she’s working alongside the Mayor in the anti-ghost protection teams, her dad and the Fentons being the ones to help supply with Anti-Ghost weaponry. Also I do see Dan and Val trying to make it work romantically.

Again this is why Dan needs to be 16-17 again because dear god the implications behind a 24-50-something ghost in a 16-17 year old’s body just makes it so damn confusing on a ‘shipping’ level. I feel that it needs to be 100% clarified at some point otherwise it could get very VERY messy and people will scream p*do no matter which way you go because of the implications 💀

Alright, previous timeline Valerie. I am in agreement that there are 2 Valeries, you see them both in different places in the book so I don’t think they’re the same person. I’m gonna call her Val for this section.

Val is definitely not on Danny or Dan’s side, she wants to out both Danny and Dan as ghosts to Amity Park but struggles to provide proof. Both Dan and Danny have to work together when it comes to Val because she is a genuine threat, but also Danny thinks she can be reasoned with. Initially Dan doesn’t agree but over his redemption arc he basically winds up reasoning with her instead of just wasting her.

———

Alright, what about his relationship with Danny? Well… I don’t think he and Danny will get along initially, he’s… grateful that he didn’t leave him to disappear, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t resent him. Danny got his happy ending, Dan has to work hard to build things he’s lost, he’s not going to like being around him. They do start to act like brothers eventually, but Danny is clearly the favourite child when it comes to that. Dan eventually learns that he never really hated Danny, he just hated himself. He also asks how he managed to save his family, Danny says Clockwork helped.

Clockwork… OKAY BUT for real, why did Clockwork help Danny and save his parents, but not Dan’s??? Clearly he could have, but didn’t. “Everything’s the way it’s supposed to be”, so Clockwork must have seen a timeline where Danny would have to face himself twice just so he can become the bridge? Ooh Dan’s not going to like that. He had to suffer, to kill himself, his family, everything and everyone who died, just for the possibility of this outcome??? Damn. That’s going to suuuuck.

———

Final note: Dan isn’t going to be a good person just because he’s put in a clone. He has to relearn everything, go back to school to gain better social behaviours, try to learn how to fit into society again. He wouldn’t just be a ‘good guy’, think of him more as an anti-hero Danny Phantom. I don’t doubt that he wouldn’t agree with Danny initially about wanting to ‘help’ ghosts, but is quickly reminded about how Danny could have just left him to disappear.

I do also think Danny will take Dan to the old Ghost Runes, Dan is going to need his own purpose now. I’m not sure what that will be.

Thanks for reading!

#danny fenton #danny phantom #going ghost #nicktoons #dp #danny phantom a glitch in time #danny phantom agit #dark danny #danny phantom spoilers #danny phantom headcanon

[invisible-storyteller]

Home is a person

For @kirayukimuraappreciation. Day 1: You Came Back. Pairing: Malia Tate/Kira Yukimura Rating: General Words: 1628 Tags: Post-Canon, Post-Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023), Kira-centric, Kira Yukimura Returns, Derek Hale & Kira Yukimura Friendship, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary:  Kira returns to Beacon Hills just in time to save Derek. With everyone alive and the Nogitsune gone, happy end is due, right? Well, Kira needs a bit more convincing to realize why she's come back at all. (Read it on AO3).

It doesn’t take long to understand the situation. It takes even less time to tackle Derek off the Nemeton.

She makes sure to stand guard around the tree stump with another, younger kitsune as Parrish’s arms wrap around the mutant evil spirit and they both go up in flames. The only thing left in the Nogitsune’s wake is silence and bad memories.

Then the illusion is gone and Kira can breathe again. They are all standing on a stadium field, safe, shaken and once again victorious, surrounded by friends she hasn’t seen in over a decade. It just figures that another life-and-death scenario would bring them back together.

“Dad!”

A werewolf boy barely in his teens rushes towards Derek and buries himself into his arms, and as Kira does a 360-degree turn, she notices that everyone's celebrating in varying forms of an embrace while she’s standing on the side. Alone.

A lean body sags onto hers suddenly and she startles by the unexpectedly tight hug. “You saved my dad,” The boy says against her shoulder, relief heavy in his voice. “Thank you.”

From a short distance, Derek smiles at her and walks closer to the pair. “Amazing timing,” He compliments.

Kira smiles but can’t help looking around and thinking: “Actually, I might be too late.”

Derek invites her to dinner as an expression of his gratitude and then follows up with a dozen ‘thanks yous’ throughout the evening. His son, Eli, has a million questions about the Skinwalkers and her powers and he breaks down crying halfway through. It’s a lot, but Kira still feels better on the drive home.

It’s definitely nicer than the nothing that follows.

For every single thing that hasn’t changed in Beacon Hills, there are at least three more that have. Derek, apparently, doesn’t know much about the others since most of them haven’t kept in touch after an allegedly glorious defeat against an army of hunters. Kira hasn’t been there for the war, but she supposes that the pack would have sought her out if she was truly needed.

Reuniting with Scott is awkward, seeing him hold hands with Allison is even more so. It’s not like Kira had much hope for her and Scott, but it still hurts. It doesn’t sting like a heartache but more like another proof that life went on without her.

She talks with Hikari and Liam before they leave for Japan because that’s their home now, not Beacon Hills. Kira has no idea where her home is anymore.

Half of her life has been dedicated to fighting for control with the Skinwalkers, so readjusting to the changes and modern life should be easy, and yet, Kira finds herself debating on a daily basis the idea of simply going back. What is keeping me here? - it’s a question that echoes too often in her head.

Derek is attentive, but more than that, he understands. He invites her over for more dinners and movie marathons (to help her “catch up on what she’s missed”, and he cringes right after saying it), and talks about his travels proceeding the events in Mexico. She realizes by the second-hour mark that the similarities of their experiences are overshadowed by their unbridgeable differences.

Because Derek returned when his friends were in need, but Kira didn’t.

He shows her the garage, the preserve and the school. Coach doesn’t recognize her but asks whether she’s good at lacrosse and if she would like to join, anyway. This leads to Kira practising with Eli on Mondays, since Derek claims he’s always been more gifted in basketball.

Kira knows what Derek’s doing, really, and she appreciates it. She just doesn’t know how to tell him that the issue isn’t with the place. It’s with her.

It’s 12:14 pm on a Friday when Kira walks into the auto shop. It’s been five weeks since her return and as she enters the shop (instead of waiting outside like usual), the realization hits her of how weird it is that she hasn’t talked to Malia in all that time.

“Hey,” Malia greets, like they've just spoken yesterday (they didn't, not in 14 years), kicking her feet off the counter and plucking the earbuds out of her ear.

Kira is ashamed that she can’t come up with a better reply than “Hi”, accompanied by a not-quite smile to make up for the lack of contact. Not that Malia couldn’t have reached out, Kira reminds herself, and feels a dull pang in her heart. It’s an everyday occurrence.

“What are you doing here?” Malia asks as she stands up, soft sweater bunching up at one of her sides. Derek’s been either rubbing off on her or pestering the woman into warmer clothes as the season turned chilly. It’s an adorable sight, nevertheless.

Kira looks behind herself, wondering for a moment if she should wait outside after all. Then she remembers Malia has always been confrontational and feels her nerves settle at the small glimpse of familiarity.

“Derek promised to buy me lunch,” Kira finally says, glancing around for good measure. Derek’s most likely in the back, though, immersed in grease and work.

Malia nods, looks away, pats down her jeans.

“What if I buy you lunch?”

The question catches Kira off guard and her wide eyes are probably telling since Malia immediately shoves her hands into her jeans and plunges into an explanation.

“Derek’s busy with a demanding asshole’s car and sitting here is getting seriously boring. So please? Put me out of my misery?”

Oh. Well. Kira can roll with that.

“Yeah, sure, if Derek doesn’t mind.”

“Wait here,” Malia instructs before disappearing through the backdoor. Three minutes later, Malia is back with car keys dangling from her fingers and a familiar-looking credit card in her hand. “He doesn’t mind. Now, let’s go. I’m fucking starving.”

The lunch is better than Kira expects. Malia's questions are straightforward but her answers to Kira’s inquires are equally frank. It’s refreshing to finally pour out all the feelings Kira's had bottled up for over a month now. It's also the first time she laughs honestly.

“We should meet up again,” Malia suggests while they're pulling up to Kira's home. Or, well, to her parents’ house.

“Yeah,” Kira agrees readily.

Then, she promptly forgets about wanting to leave for a full week.

“Don’t you want to have your own apartment?” Malia asks with her bare feet trudging in the shallow part of the lake.

Kira pulls her knees up to hug them closer as well as to support her chin as she shrugs noncommittally. “I haven’t thought about it yet.”

“Seriously?" Malia looks flummoxed. "Didn’t you make a comment about the absurdity of sleeping in your old bedroom? Right below your One Direction poster?"

Yeah, Kira spent an entire day mourning over that particular change.

“I know, I just never thought I would need a permanent place here.”

Malia freezes in the water at once and aimes her eyes at her submerged feet. Kira can't parse the emotion on her friend's face, and it makes the anxiety that she hasn't felt around Malia yet emerge with frightening intensity.

“You want to leave.”

There's no accusation behind the words but they aren't exactly warm in nature. Kira doesn't want to lie, not to Malia, so she settles on a shrug.

“But you just got back." And now the hurt is audible in Malia's voice.

“Why should I stay here?" Kira asks, pleading for her friend to understand. "Our friends aren’t here anymore, the pack isn’t here anymore, my life isn’t here-“

Kira bites her tongue. When she got back two months ago, she was filled with exhilaration to reunite with her family. Her mother made occasional visits to the Skinwalkers, but it was nothing compared to the almost forgotten scent of his father's cooking or the sound of her mother's singing as it floated through the house. There was no happier moment in Kira's life than when her mother had called about the Nogitsune's return and the Skinwalkers bid her farewell for good. Her training was over.

But Kira didn't live in Beacon Hills for long and she didn't have childhood memories to anchor her to the town. The only thing that was ever valuable in Beacon Hills were her friends and even they had left a long time ago. Kira has no reason to stay.

“I’m here,” Malia's words break through her thoughts, and Kira meets her eyes curiously.

“Why? What holds you back?”

Malia doesn't answer. She simply walks out of the lake and sits beside her in the grass. It's an unusually sunny day.

“Parrish?” Kira chances, and her heart soars when Malia shakes her head lightly.

“I guess... I was waiting for everyone to come back.”

Kira hasn't considered it yet - what it must have felt like to be left behind by all their friends. The worst is, though, that she doesn't remember if she ever said goodbye to Malia.

They listen to the forest while soaking in the pale light of the Sun, and at one point, Malia decides to lie down on her back and just watch the vagrant clouds as they swim past the treetops. Kira hasn't known this kind of peace in... 14 years.

“I guess..." Malia suddenly speaks, quieter but somehow braver, "I was waiting for you to come back.”

Kira looks at the other woman, at the challenge and hope in her eyes. At the evident fear that she bares open for only Kira to see.

She leans onto her side until she hovers above Malia, and slowly, tentatively, takes hold of her hand.

“Will you help me look for an apartment?”

Malia beams, and just like that, Kira no longer regrets coming back.

#kiraweek2023 #kira yukimura #malira #derek & kira #original: teen wolf fanfic

[flamingfireflakeswithbeancurds]

So, I finished reading Azula in the Spirit Temple and I got to say that it was a pretty nice read. So much better than what they did with her in the previous comics. Never liked that take of her being a crazy irredeemable monster who needed to be put down like an unwanted dog in the pound.

First, I like how this comic humanizes her. Loved her sass. I feel like this Azula aligns more with show Azula than any other comic iterations. People keep on summing her character up as her breakdown. People need to stop defining people based on their worst moments. She just had a mental breakdown and recovered. No need to do all of this armchair psychology on her, giving her all of these mental diagnoses. We honestly need to move on from that. Azula is so much more than that.

Second, I really like the bug spirit. I see what people were talking about when they said it gave them Other Mother from Coraline vibes. I mean, that spirit might have wanted to capture Azula and eat her for all we know, absorb her souls or something. The only time people are the most at peace is when they are dead. The Spirit literally wanted her to rest in peace.

I also like to think that the spirit represents the fandom as a whole, all trying to figure Azula out, to prove either how much of an irredeemably monstrous she is or that she has been through a lot and can change. At the end of the day, the whole thing was an illusion because everything in that temple were just allegations. That Spirit was trying to figure her out like the rest of us. She didn’t know what she was talking about. Notice how Azula did not agree nor disagree with any of the spirit’s notions.

Honestly, the only things that should be focused on are Azula’s actions and what she said. At the end of the day, Azula knows who she is and what she’s done. She did what she had to do to survive Ozai because he was the only person she had. Azula hates herself for it.

I disagree with the belief that this comic is open ended. I believe this comic confirms that Azula can change and is going to be redeemed. This comic sets up that Azula wants to change.

At the beginning of the comic, Azula wanted nothing more than to track down the Fire Warriors punish them for leaving her to save their captured comrades. Now, after finding them and seeing how happy they are without her, Azula’s leaves them be. I believe that deep down, Azula wants to have a real friendship and she missed her chance with the Fire Warriors. She treated them terribly and acted like they were disposable. And they disposed of Azula’s, lol.

Hopefully, Azula realizes that the of the first steps to changing is to treat the people around her better. I doubt Azula is going to be alone for long. She has a way of bringing people together and rallying them to her causes. She just can’t seem to keep them because of her terrible behavior. With new people in her life, she has a chance to change.

I think this scene also shows that Azula had let go of Zuko and being Fire Lord as well. She is going to somewhere new to change.

Can’t wait for what’s next in Azula’s story.

#azula in the spirit temple #azula #atla #azul meta

[2offayyo-kzt]

me ranting for nothing about wwdits ("fandom") :

I don't know why I'm insisting on making this post when I know perfectly well that no one cares, but I'm SICK of people complaining about wwdits writing, frankly y'all are ANNOYING ASF

I understand not liking the new seasons of wwdits, even finding the writing to be shit, honestly, fair it's your right

But for the love of god, STOP COMPARING WWDITS WITH OTHER SHOWS EXPLICITLY FOCUSED ON ROMANCE

wwdits IS NOT ofmd, wwdits IS NOT good omens, wwdits IS NOT Hannibal or other shit

wwdits is wwdits, it's a silly show, sometimes badly written, sometimes emotional, fun to watch, painful to watch, with interesting dynamics, but it's not your fucking fanfiction dream between Nandor and Guillermo

I'm the first to say that sometimes in wwdits, yeah they miss opportunities, if we take my favorite character (Sean) I think it would be more than great to make him a drag queen, but am I going to cry because I have not been lulled into my illusions next season, no

Fuck. trying to create a superwholock bootleg edition you shit on a show that is important for people (me, I'm talking about me lmao)

and you know what I'm going to be honest, whether it's the relationship between Nandor and Guillermo, or the relationship between Sean and Laszlo. I find that it has just as much if not more impact on the queer community, because it's not a sappy romance with cliché "heartbreaking" moments

seanzlo is the story of a redneck who is torn between the values his macho, patriarchal upbringing has taught him, and socializing with queer people on a daily basis, he's constantly learning on how to deal with his own sexuality, especially his feelings towards a man who is openly comfortable with his sexuality

It's two best friends flirting on the blurred line between friendship and love, they're also toxic for each other, bringing out the best or worst in each other

Nandermo is, even if I didn't personally like Nandor's development, one of the best demonstrations of a deep and complex romance between two people, nandermo IS the good shit, and I can see why fans love it

my post is starting to make no sense, but damn wwdits is a show centered around a FAMILY.

I repeat. A FAMILY.

a family, newsflash, it's not perfect, far from it

So from now on for my mental health. Whenever I see someone criticizing wwdits and it annoys me, I block

block block block

#the most useless post ever #congrats if you read it lol

[an-over-educated-woman]

A Love Letter.

Hey,

It’s been a long time, and I think I finally figured out what I needed to say to you.

I miss you. Even after everything that’s happened; all the anger and petty drama and mishandlings of our friendship. I miss you and there are still days where things happen and I want to go and tell you about them. I want to see your face light up when I tell you good news, I want to hear your laugh when I relay a funny story, and I want to commiserate with you about the many ironies of working in healthcare. I want to tell you that graduate school is going great, that I’ve fallen in love and that he’s everything, and that I’m having a crisis about turning twenty-five.

 I’d like to think that you’d be proud of me. The dated illusion of you in my mind- my conceptualization of the person you were to me two years ago- is proud of me and how far I’ve come. I’ve chased my dreams and achieved a lot more than I thought was possible at first. I hope that you’re achieving a lot now too. I hope that you’re at least studying for the MCAT, cut out those toxic friends, and are dating someone who is good for you. That’s the bare minimum. During the course of our friendship you discovered that I can be hard on people when I know that they can be better. I’m still like that in a lot of ways. I still believe that letting your friends get away with shit makes both us and our friends shitty people. So yeah, I still have those standards. You are so smart, and so talented, and your good humor could reach anyone. Or at least those were some of the things I loved about you before we fell apart. So much time has passed; I could very well not know who you are anymore. But the point is that I hope you won’t waste all of your goodness by wallowing away in the same shithole neighborhood, getting taken advantage of in a job you’re too good for anyways, and allowing another year to pass by where you aren’t going after what you actually want. That’s all!

And as for the other thing- whatever we were at one point in time- I get it now. I get that you figured nothing would come of “us” and now I agree.  The whole situation was just too weird! But even so, I don’t regret it at all, even if you do. You made me feel happy in a pretty dark and confusing time in my life. I remember rushing to toss my apron away after clocking out of work because I knew you had messages waiting for me on my phone. I remember all of the belly laughs and inside jokes we shared. There was a thrill to being young and stupid and crazy about you. 

Sometimes I think about the possibility of crossing paths with you in the future- just seeing you in passing. I think that’s common for folks whose relationships ended the way ours did. It makes my heart hurt to think about the idea of finding you exactly as you were when we fell apart. I’d much rather see you happy. One day, I want to discover that you got up and took action- you went to medical school and are getting to change peoples’ lives for the better every day, just like you said you dreamed about doing. I want to discover that you’ve married a good woman, and that you get to be the dad you’ve said you’ve dreamed of being. I want so much to feel like we can be happy for each other and chalk up all the drama to what it was- people in their twenties fucking up and then moving on.

Okay! I think that’s all I wanted to say. I hope that you’re okay.

Best Wishes,

Phoebe

#a “fuck you” letter i wrote in therapy that turned into something else #sometimes your brain and heart surprise you #and finding closure comes in a way you didn't expect #this is a more personal post than i'm used to #but i felt like posting it :) #love letter #love letters 💌

[redtoondevils]

The V.A.N.N.I network is no ordinary Simulation.

The V.A.N.N.I mask isn't just a hollow gram. Theory. I Believe that the V.A.N.N.I mask, that Cassie wears, is supernatural. I do have a few evidence, as theories. So, the first thing you'll notice right away when putting on this mask. It'll transform the environment around you.

Showing the cracks, and the digital illusions. That looks like in certain area's shows you the power surging inside the walls, where the ports are. And it has the heat vision, to see the robot's all around you.

And where they are hidden. It even shows the parts that are missing, used to be there. That the mask has special technology, to render in. There's already a rumor that the mask, such as the user sees, they will see that the mask tempers with it. That is where things get complicated, with calculated terms.

Such as, when Cassie put's on the mask, she sees visions, such as a photo graph or a structure, or plushies that she is familier with. Represents her memories, and friendship, that she made with Roxanne wolf. There is one soda machiene that shows Roxy's picture located in Monty Golf.

That there is a soda machine near the broken Golf course, that show's Monty's picture in front. If she put's the mask on, and looks at it again, the picture will change into Roxy's. So that is proof, that the mask, somehow show's the memories of the user, who uses it.

So, that is the top speculation. The obvious speculation, of what you see in the environment, that they are illusions. The objects, or the environmental change, is fake. There's that one.

So, lastly...Or next thing, is the supernatural. There's still so much theory as to say, how is the Mask is doing that? Such as, walking through objects. The ones, that you see are hollow grammed, but are solid, that you could walk through them.

And those, that do not look hollow grammed, but you can walk through them. And that the fact, that you could hear voices as well.

Not really sure what they mean? Is the general theory. But of course, the mask is much more to it, (Or powerful wise.) With what it can do. But, not how it does that? This gadget thing...Is proven not to be an ordinary thing.

Which, could also mean. (My theory.) Is that, in the Pizza Plex. The things that you do see, or use. That are rare, are not real. Or 'fake' objects for some reason. That existed in the main game. But, couldn't be found without the Mask. Or, another thought, I had, that those hollow grams, inside the Pizza Plex, did exist.

But you can't see it with the naked eye. It's sounds crazy. But maybe some of those structures, such as one of those Monty seats, that were one of them. Were hollow grams, but we just didn't notice it?

Playing as Gregory, he would have walked through a door, that must of been a 'fake' one. But, just didn't notice it.

So, at the beginning of the game, the first 10 minutes of it, you'll see a hollowgram. I'm just gonna call it a 'Glitching' yellow box. That it physically blocks you, without the mask, but you can walk through it when you do.

That is an object, that might be one of those 'solid' boxes that are...The fake ones, or copies. And you can walk through those ones, but you can't walk through the real ones.

Although, I do have another theory, about those real/fake objects. That...Maybe they might be real, but the mask detects it as a pathway. Or something, and it turns it into a hollow gram. And another one, with the Monty Golf, Light house floaty thing.

It had the same effect. And it feels like a real object. And the masks detects it, and turns it a 'Glitch' giving it the glitched affect. And when you put on the mask. You are able to walk through.

This glitchy theory sounds a bit confusing with that one. But, it's still very strange. This is the part, where I find the most mysterious with this Supernatural thing, where this object doesn't appear as a 'Glitch.'. It is certainly real. I think it is, because. It didn't appear like that.

This would be for a few certain things. But, the main one. Or ones (s) Even the ones, that are not real. Stops you? The main one, that is the real object, is the big Monty seat. It had no 'Glitched' affect on it. It looked totally regular.

And this is the one, that's the most....One of the most puzzling ones. Is that, when the mask transform's that piece to walk right through it. It enables Cassie to go through. And that's the one with the Catwalks as well.

It's like as if, you are walking around with superpowers. That is the part, where you activate those invisible catwalks, and walk above them. With out falling through.

There is no way, any mask with digital scenery can unlock, or create a hidden pathway. (Or like reveal the path. ) Because it's all about seeing things you can't see.

And that, it can open up a portal inside the Mouth, of the Gator. I believe, that the Catwalk was the most activated location to use the Mask, and it's secretive unlocking powers. And Cassie, was able to walk through that. It's like as if, she's traveling between two barries though each other to another location.

And that, is how Vanny when she first appeared, was seen. Hopping along the 'Pick up' line, from the back of the Daycare entry, then disappeared into thin air. I'm thinking that. The mask is more powerful, than showing what you can see. In comparison, that those cannot.

Referring to my quick theory, that the illusions in the Pizza Plex, does exist. In order to see them, is to wear the Mask. Or that, the Mask can summon those pathways with what it can see. Through it's advanced technology. Enabling you the ability to travel through the Map. In places that are usually, and visibly inaccessible.

Now, onto the voices. It is believed, and that for many, that the voices you hear, are the voices, from past event's during Gregory's journey. And Cassie in the Ruin, are hearing them. The specific location, that I found that is the spookiest, is inside the Daycare.

Indeed, you'll hear those voices of the Children, that used to be there before. But what, is most disturbing, and sad about. Is the history, that unfolded with that. The one that links up with the News paper, about a young boy. Being reported, to have been traumatized, by both Sun and Moon.

That again, I don't Sun intentionally meant that. Because, bear in mind that the Virus, is responsible for bringing out, the worst out of them. And, I posted a theory before this.

That, I have said, that it must of been, a miss understanding from the boy. That must of been the after math. When he saw Sun, believing him being the monster. After, being Moon. And changing back. If you listen closely, you'll hear a boy's scream.

That sounds significantly, like the boy that has happened. That happened in the past. But further on, what makes this more than just the past. Is that you'll often hear children's laughter.

And other ghost voices, that usually. Hypothetically, being used as a haunting. This gives these eventful memories, a possible relation with haunting.

The daycare, (Including other locations.) That has the ghostly whispers, are haunted. And that, with the connection of Sun being trapped in that realm. He would be hearing those children's voices, on and on. If he was available.

And lastly, the fake things, becoming real. It's not the hollow grams, I'm talking about the things you activate. And can see. The Giant Endo skeleton, is the big one. And also including the ones, in the Daycare how you put on the mask.

And the star's light up. There's also the road, in Roxy race way, that's been broken down, with the lights off. Can turn back on. And especially, with that ball. I'm not sure, if you know this.

There is this black ball that looks like a pool table ball. Or a soft ball, weight thing. Up in the Atrium roof, at first, it looks like to be a regular ball with nothing going through it.

But, if you put the mask on, and look at it again, you'll see some circuits flowing into it, as if it still has electricity flowing into it. And if it has some kind of purpose with it, or not. (Probably, not.)

The thing, that I find the most mysterious, weird. About, and also very suspicious about it. With how it is affecting Helpy. Is the activating things. There's been a few of them, that in the fake world, operating the real world. Yet, it should not be possible.

Such as the screen, beside the Daycare, with the Two offices beside it. The Roxy's statue. But most Importantly...The Giant Endo. How the hell did that thing wind up there? Where the hell, did it come from?

And, what's so weird, is that. Even though they spawn in the digital world, but the affects of them, connecting into the real world. So, going inside it's mouth, took Cassey down into a vent from the Theatre, and into the basement of the Fazer blast. It literally took you, all the way across the Pizza Plex!

And, with the way, it spawned. Walking into it, it's so physical. It's structure looks legit. Kind of. What is happening here? Is the Mask creating some kind of structure, it builds to connect into the real world? Like this seems the only thing to describe it.

But, can't explain. Ans what's so suspicious about it, is when Heli said, "Oh, it's only in your head. There's nothing to worry about!" Really, Helpi? And how much of this thing, we don't know much about...Nothing to worry about?

So, pretty much. This mask...I think, while the general idea of it, being a digital simulation. But, of all the things it can summon, unlock, spawn, stuff like that. There's so much going on deeper with this thing, that is shrouded with mystery.

That it's not only, used to see things the normal eye can't. It is also supernatural, and harness powers, to travel through things. That it might actually be turning these things into the 'Glitches.'

And break them down. and is connected to the afterlife. It may even manipulate that too. That may be one of those powers, it uses to travel.

Like what the developers said in their main description, is to travel intro the world of the unnatural. It was something along the lines of that. It is...Like many video games, was a hint hidden in the description. Implemented into the game.

#fnaf #fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #fnaf security breach vanny #fnaf security breach ruin #fnaf security breach ruin theory #fnaf ruin #fnaf ruin theory #fnaf ruin vanny #fnaf ruin vanny mask #fnaf ruin vanni network #fnaf theory #fnaf missing children #fnaf security breach super stardaycare #fnafsecuritybreach #thedaycareattendant #fnaf security breach ruin V.A.N.N.I network #V.A.N.N.I Netweork #fnaf vanni network theory #Fnaf security breach ruin V.A.N.NI network theory #fnaf ruin vanni mask #vanny mask theory #fnaf ruin vanni mask theory #videogame theory #fnaf ruin cassie #fnaf security breach past #past #future #past and future #past and future theory

[waiting-on-a-dream]

hi aurora! sorry if it's a weird question, but i just got an idea. if your prisoners could cover my prisoners' T1 songs, which song would each character get? i can also do the same thing with my ocs and your prisoners' songs, if you want! :D

Lina. This is a great question. 👀

Ichiro: Error Screen (Okay, so the colours and glitchy effects of the MV certainly suit Ichiro's vibe. There's a disconnect between reality and what happens in the MV, which fits his usual state of mind. Some of the lyrics fit Ichiro's feelings towards his mom too. There's nothing wrong with me still missing you, right? There's nothing wrong with me still wanting to be with you, right? So why don't you leave him, you deserve better, even though I'm probably worse.)

Akane: Heart-shaped Candy (I can't think of any of your prisoners' songs that would fit her because none of their crimes give off the same vibes as her killing her dad. But ah, I assigned Heart-shaped Candy to her because she's angry just like Yurika lol. Yurika working as a maid reminded me of Akane working as a waitress too.)

Daisuke: Empty Desk (HELP I can't quite believe it. Daisuke's babygirl energy is just too strong. I checked Hot Pink Illusion first, but the rose coloured glasses lyric didn't fit. Yeah, the lyrics of Empty Desk and Naomi's guilt after her crime fits him to a T. Everyone's reactions of her crime may or may not apply to Daisuke as well.)

Suzume: Lost in Perfection (The lyrics and the somewhat obsessive feelings towards Eiko's love interest? Yes. Not to mention, wanting for something perfect.)

Haku: Jump Together (This might be kinda funny because Riku is so similar to Kiyoshi. But uh, I took a look at the lyrics and... Let's just say one aspect of Riku's relationship with his childhood friend applies to Haku's relationship with Kurosaki. Just a little. Also, just imagine Haku singing a song obviously made by a band.)

Yui: Heart-shaped Candy (Again? Yes. Himiko. That's all I have to say.)

Rin: Portrait of Friendship (I considered giving him Asahi's song, but Aimi's song about friendship fits him well enough to be assigned to him. The lyrics and her being an outcast in her class apply to him well.)

Noa: Empty Desk (Only the most babygirl of my ocs get this song. She gets this song because the general sad vibes and MV fit her well.)

Kiyoshi: No Reason (Reina's façade and her potential true friend group's dynamics. That's all I can say before I reveal too much.)

Mayumi: Staying At The Top (Its really weird, but I think this song isn't a bad fit for her. She and Akio would both cover Purge March, so they're quite similar.)

#and yes please do this with my ocs' songs as well! :D #can't wait to see the results!! #(who will get artificial happiness haha) #prisoner 001: kanai ichiro #prisoner 002: kobayashi akane #prisoner 003: iwamoto daisuke #prisoner 004: toma suzume #prisoner 005: endo haku #prisoner 006: sasaki yui #prisoner 007: shigeru rin #prisoner 008: watanabe noa #prisoner 009: miyahara kiyoshi #prisoner 010: okura mayumi