#i mean that is the brand of my blog idk what anyone can expect from me

[me-sploh-rada-imas]

nace photos that make me feral

#joker out #nace jordan #anyway i have stupid numbers of nace photos saved so yall best believe i will be posting nace photo compilations #he makes me insane and i will inflict that on everyone else you're welcome #i mean that is the brand of my blog idk what anyone can expect from me #nacko my beloved #<- my tag for unbearable nace content (in a good way)

[narrie]

Centrists are Zionists be fr. If you’re not for Palestine, you’re aiding zionisism and genocide. I love your blog but sometimes I wonder how you can even like Harry given that he represents pretty much everything you rightfully don’t like.

see, i think u gotta be more careful with not making distinctions bc that's similar to the rhetoric ppl use to equal anti-israel = antisemitic and other bs. i think centrism in this case is cowardly and a cop-out without doubt, as well as willfully closing ur eyes to the very clear situation at hand - but some ppl also are more centrist with their positioning bc they have a job to lose for example. in terms of celebs i think 98% of statements and engagements were centrist tbh, as i said it's mostly about PR for these ppl, but then hozier got jumped for being centrist which i didn't get at all. i thought his statement was very pro-palestine, he shared resources, and it's not even the first time he's stood up for palestine either so idk what some ppl are expecting tbh, this is the best u'll get apart from kehlani. florence, who this message was originally about, did share a "violence from both sides is wrong" typa thing at first too but then she signed the artists for ceasefire letter and shared more pro-palestine stuff.

i don't think harry represents everything i don't like but i'm def a more critical fan of him than others bc of my own moral code etc. i know as a woc my views won't always line up with a rich white man - at the same time i also don't look up to celebrities as moral pillars or political figures tho. obvs i wouldn't support someone who's some far-right idiot or whatever but i also don't expect harry to have the exact same values as me and i'm also not like "oh harry posted about supporting koala babies, i'll do that now", like it's insane to me how there was a statistic that [insert percentage here] of young ppl registered to vote bc tswift posted about it, like i don't need a celeb to tell me that, u know what i mean? i think the stan war that some ppl made out of the israel/palestine situation the past few weeks has actually been very crude. for me personally it's more about how these celebs are using their platform rather than my fave singer posting 3 sentences about how killing children isn't right and that's enough activism for the year lol i don't need the validation that i'm "stanning the right person" but it is good for the movement when someone who has millions and millions of ppl following them, some who do look up to them and value their opinion (see: swifties who signed up for voting), bring awareness to the humanitarian emergency and repost important info/voices. especially in this case hollywood voices matter bc it does bother israel a lot, part of their pr has always been to include celebs to spread their propaganda (see: hailee steinfeld taking pictures with the idf). anyway atp i don't expect harry to say anything, at best it would be a very centrist take as well which it pretty much always is when harry dares to say smth (vote with kindness) and it is disappointing bc he has such a die hard fanbase, but i was more worried that he'd say smth very dumb tbh bc so many ppl around him are so openly pro-israel. his activism has always been lackluster at best and again, i'm personally not expecting him to be the spokesperson for every issue in the world or try look for that from him, but idt anyone can be apolitical in this climate and especially not when u built ur whole brand on kindness.

#ask #idk if any of this makes sense i'm very eh eh about the role of celebs in this discourse #which is why it took me so long to reply to this like i don't spend my energy on if xyz has said smth about this situation yet u know?

[paxislandsystem]

🕶️👁️🟩🟪🟦An Introductory Guide to This Blog🟦🟪🟩👁️🕶️

Turns out I'm too stupid to figure out how to make a carrd so for now welcome to the blog! We're a tulpa/parogenic system of three, and while I suspect we'll be more active on our instagram, PaxIslandSystem, we'll also post stuff here.

DNI (may be expanded):

1. Anti-endos/anti-tulpa

Syscourse and discourse in general is quite triggering for me and my anger issues and I have a hard time disengaging once I'm bothered enough so kindly do not interact with me if you have any anti-endo thoughts you want to share. Furthermore, I have yet to see a good argument as to why tulpamancy is a problem, so if you don't have any informed opinions to give, kindly keep them to yourself. I may explain what I mean later on. Furthermore, don't interact if you are under the blatantly incorrect impression that "sysmed" is a slur. This reads to us as TERF tactics.

2. Exclusionists/bigots of any kind

This includes TERFs, transmeds, transphobes, anti whatever pronouns, racist assholes, homophobes etc. However, I don't expect to not see such people interacting with me because they don't care about DNIs, so gladly make yourself known in order for me to block you and get on with my day. Thank you.

3. Proshippers/MAPS or whatever you wanna call yourself, zoophiles, etc.

I shouldn't have to explain why this is a problem.

4. Fakeclaimers/gatekeepers

There's a 99% chance that you don't even know the person you're claiming to be faking their disability/disorder, which means there's a 99% chance you don't know what you're talking about.

System bio:

Madison (Host) 🟦

(She/Te/It/They)

I'm a 19 year old non-binary ancom musician from Sacramento. I also passively practice/believe in Luciferianism. I occasionally dabble in literature and I've been a furry since I was 14, so expect a bit of that maybe? Idk. I'm currently majoring in audio engineering so that I can at least do something tangential to my passion without turning my music into a brand.

Artemis 🟪

(He/They)

Hey everyone, I'm Artemis! I'm Madison's deer person brother and I guess tulpa. I'm 15 and interested in theatre or at least checking it out so if anyone has any recommendations with where to start, let me know! My favorite band at the moment is Rishloo because of its nostalgic value thanks to Madison listening to it a lot while creating me. In fact, I have Systematomatic stuck in my head right now, so that's fun. My favorite color is purple and I'd like to think I'm laid back, so expect memes if I post. Anyways, have a good one!

Treeline 🟩

(He/Him)

My name is Treeline. I am a demonoid between the ages of 20 and 10,000 years and I originated as Madison's imaginary demon protector and I am the system's protector/caretaker, however I feel that I am not exactly aligned with actual demons or at the very least fluctuate between human and demonic states. Currently as of writing this I feel more aligned with my demonic side, although it could be that my human side is only a result of Madison's personality influencing mine and as such is not me in my purest form. I quite enjoy bird watching. It's possible I may also have two distinct personalities or be some sort of median sub-system, although I'll admit my understanding of subsystems is lacking.

Bentley 👁️

(He/Him)

Alexa 🛸

(she/they)

Hello there! I'm new to the system, but I really like it here so far! I'm quite a bookworm, at least based on what I've read so far. Feel free to recommend me books to read! Right now I'm still figuring myself out, but it's been a fun journey in the hour or so as of writing this that I've been around!

Ezra 🕶️

(She/Her)

Pax 📗

(he/they)

I'm a fictive from Pax and Jude. I'm a species of alien called a queksol and I'm still having a really hard time understanding how I got to be here. Apparently this is the first time the system has had a fictive and it's a little alarming, but I'll probably be fine. I dunno.

A Description of our Wonderland

While we prefer to use the term "headspace" because it personally feels less mystifying, but we're glad to use "wonderland" to clear up any confusion.

Our wonderland is named Pax Island, which my fiance suggested because pax is latin for peace and it's somewhat of a paradise over there. It's a relatively flat island liberally peppered with oak trees in the middle of an endless ocean. We have our house by the eastern shoreline with a treehouse to the right of the entrance as well as a mall up north that is solely there because of the wall we used to use for graffiti, although it has pretty good ice cream even if I'm not quite good at perceiving the taste of it. We also have a park a little bit northwest and a recently added a submarine dock with a little non-sentient cat dude who mans the submarine because why not?

The headspace is in a constant state of night because I find it reasonably calming. Otherwise, there isn't much to say about it.

[deanwasalwaysbi]

I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network: 

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler,  (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward.  Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard.  But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9  - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x)  [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line?  This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel   (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there - 

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.”  [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?”  Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it.  So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship.  It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)

#jackles long con #unparalled media experience #desticule #dean is bi #spn tinhatting #ben hur treatment #dean was always bi #jackles sexy silence #jensen ackles #spn meta #spngate #spn bts #spn behind the scenes #ben edlund #ben hur #bedlund #spn metacanon #i went off #I really do believe that bedlund ben hur'd Jensen #spn gaslighting #JENSEN WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL #my asks #caslighting #original content #long post #this has been stewing for a long time #reference #oh do help me this is somehting other people know way more about. #deranged #spn homophobia

[supertunanana]

Saw this in the Jikook tag and thought I'd add what I have seen. What I've seen isn't that people think they're fighting or broken up even though I'm sure there's a lot of that going on but for some they now believe Jikook were never a couple and are just close friends and they feel foolish for buying into blogs that have their own theories that Jimin and Jungkook are an actual romantic couple. Not entirely sure why this NY trip and middle half of 2021 in general have people changing their minds but I guess only they know. It happens every so often but this time I've seen people make permanent changes to their accounts whether it's on here or another sm platform. I just know some are comparing those blogs to the one who shall not be named in the other toxic shipper base. It's not that they see Jikooker blogs as toxic and horrible as that other person but that these Jikook blogs offer their own brand of manipulation only this time using facts instead of lies. No idea if that made any sense lmao How do I put it? Like taking events that have happened and making them out to be a bigger deal than they actually are which in turn gets other people to go "Really? I didn't see it that way but these people are older and wiser and maybe see things clearer than I do" then gifs or clips are usually provided and it all becomes pretty convincing. The thing is no one knows if they're a couple. Could they be? Yeah sure. Could they just be close friends with their own set of personal boundaries? Absolutely. When someone tries to offer up that suggestion to many Jikook blogs, they don't want to discuss that most of the time. Personally I've seen anons suggest a close friendship and are met with comments that that anon must not be experienced enough or anyone who can't see that Jimin and Jungkook are in a relationship must be blind or are choosing to ignore what's right in front of them. That's messed up. That's acting as if the opinion that they're dating is no longer just an opinion. I can see how that can be a mild form of toxicity in itself. Nobody has the right to belittle somebody because they share a different opinion. Even after this NY trip, I've seen many Jikook blogs erupt in anger, calling anons stupid and ridiculous for having doubts or changing their minds and coming to their own conclusions that Jikook aren't a couple but close friends. It's odd to see "Why does no longer car sharing convince you they're not dating?" When actually we've never known if they are to begin with so someone changing their minds over something that's never been confirmed in the first place isn't a problem or "stupid". Maybe the reasons for changing their minds might seem a bit hasty but they're still allowed to change their minds. So yeah I see people are feeling foolish for believing these blogs who hold the opinion they're dating and I think in time the negative feelings will fade away and I have already seen some move on from those types of Jikook blogs and make changes. Perhaps they'll be able to enjoy BTS content without worrying about Jikook's status? As for me, I've never believed they were a romantic couple to begin with but their relationship whatever it is in reality has me aww'ing so that's why I follow Jikook tag. Their interactions are very cute. Sorry for rambling on so much!

You're good, Anon. And I agree with most everything you've said! However, I'm not so convinced they aren't a romantic couple, but then again, I'm not convinced they are. As I told a friend, I'm pretty agnostic about this (and as an actual Agnostic in the religious sense, that's on brand, lol). I'm pretty bad about seeing things in black and white. I used to, but then law school happened, and I've mellowed out a lot (which is ironic, because I think most of my fellows only got stronger in their opinions, lol! IDK I think my ENTJ is slowly dying into an ENTP; the world has beaten me down into seeing the gray). But I don't really worry too much about it. I did at one point, simply because I think it's human nature to want absolutes, to want labels and definitions especially when something is "other" or "unusual", but I got over it. Do I think they do some suspicious things that make me raise an eyebrow and question them? Yes. Does this definitively make them a couple? No. Will my world fall apart if they are just friends with weird boundaries? No. I understand those blogs that are CONVINCED seem a bit dismissive of doubts, and I envy their conviction. I think they feel they are seeing a truth and supporting/defending a truth that is screaming to break free. That Jikook ARE IN FACT a couple, desperate to be seen as such, but muted by their careers and the socio-political climate of where they live. And I am sympathetic to that. It's why I cannot simply dismiss Jikook as NOT being a couple or forcing heteronormative expectations on them. If they are, I do indeed see signs, and I support them if it's true. BUT, that often leads to looking at a lot of what they do with confirmation bias. That is, you believe your hypothesis "they are a couple hiding in plain sight", so everything they do or say supports this hypothesis, and I find that equally faulty. I see some Jikookers who get just as silly about Jimin and JK being near each other or looking at each other as Taekookers. Sure, they'll spin a more eloquent web using those odd and unusual things that make me side-eye ("SE") to support this, but it often boils down to the same thing. Not everything Jimin and Jungkook do equates to some magical, romantic relationship! I get that they are often trying to cite patterns of behavior (eg JK gravitates towards Jimin) which could be seen as innocuous and BFF stuff and then couple it with "SE" stuff (eg JK sucks on Jimin's ear) to give more meaning to the former as being more romantic and legit than a Taekooker possibly citing similar, but it's not. Not fully. I know the BEST romantic relationships have partners who are BFFs, but that doesn't mean that BFF behavior equates to a romantic relationship. Or even the "SE" behavior equates to a romantic relationship (as you said, it could be BFF's with weird boundaries - I've made out with a few of my friends and I was in no way attracted to them physically or romantically). It's not the transitive property of relationships here. So, that's where I see more wiggle room, that's where I think a lot of people question or have doubts, but that's where these blogs are so convinced. I don't necessarily think they're trying to be rude (but they can be and that sucks), but I think they're just stuck in their confirmation bias loop. They are convinced and they use the strength of that conviction to put emphasis on a lot of things. I don't think they're trying to manipulate anyone, because they genuinely believe it, and that's where they can be dismissive when questioned. And again, I don't think they're inherently wrong, but I also don't think they're inherently right, either. I will say, that if ANY pairing in BTS were to be legit, Jikook have the strongest argument, but it doesn't mean they are (but it also doesn't mean they aren't). And that's ok, to me at least. I'm fine living in the gray and seeing Jikook as each other's person, regardless of what that fully entails. They have a beautiful relationship, they make each other better people, and as my double biases (Jin is my bias wrecker - my chaos trio!), that makes me happy.

#ask #this is me #jikook

[sorrowsz]

30 Day Thinspo Challenge

I'm just gonna get this over with in one post lmao

Day 1: Your stats

My cw is 120 lbs which I think is the highest it's ever been? I don't get to weigh myself often lol

Day 2: How tall are you, do you like your height?

I'm like 5'5 or 5'6 so pretty average. I'm ok with it but I kinda wish I was taller lol

Day 3: A picture of your thinspo. What features do you like about this person?

Jack is goals tbh I mean just look at those arms. perfect

Day 4: Your greatest fears about weight loss

I'm kinda worried what happens after I get to my gw, like it's not too far away but I'm not just gonna go back to eating regularly when I get to it? Idk

Day 5: Why do you want to lose weight? Are you doing it for you?

I just want skinny legs tbh. I am doing it for myself, but I'd be lying if I said other people's opinions of me/my looks didn't matter to me. I miss the skinny nicknames lmao

Day 6: Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.

Yep, after I start restricting for too long I'll just devour everything in the refrigerator even if it makes me feel like absolute shit.

Day 7: Do your parents know you're trying to lose weight? Do they care?

Oh hell no. Idk if they would really care, but it's way too embarrassing bc I've been trying to lose weight for years now and I've only gained since then. I'm a failure lmao

Day 8: Your workout routine

I don't really have a routine, I just have a playlist of some different workouts to choose from. I don't even do it that often tbh I'm lazy (gonna start doing it nightly though!)

Day 9: Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?

Idk about negative but I've been told my legs are getting big by family. Another family member also told me they were fat lmao

Day 10: What was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss?

The ability to eat without counting calories lmao

Day 11: Your fav. thinspo blog and why.

I don't really have one rn. I spend so much time scrolling through this shit but I just kinda move on from one to the other

Day 12: What do you normally eat?

I've been living off instant rice noodles recently. 200 cal for a packet and it's so filling when drowned in water. Add a poached egg and you have some gourmet shit

Day 13: Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

Both ig? I used to do it more healthily but this recent dip back into being obsessed with getting skinny has been the worst so far lmao.

Day 14: What's your UGW? When do you expect to reach it?

Rn it's 96 lbs. I certainly could get there by the end of the year but knowing me I probably won't. A bitch can dream. A bitch can also undo a week's worth of progress in one day.

Day 15: Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you to lose weight? If no, do you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?

I tried veganism out a few years ago, but I'd never go back to it. I don't need stress dreams of accidentally eating meat or dairy products and binging. Fuck the cows tbh

Day 16: When did you first decide to lose weight?

I actually don't know. I have memories of trying to stop eating altogether and then binging on uncrustables from when I was younger, but I only really got into calorie counting like 2-3 years ago?

Day 17: Do you have an ED?

Nah but I certainly relate to the ed side of tumblr more than the dieting subreddits I used to subscribe to. Idk at what point you're allowed to say you have an eating disorder but I definitely have some disordered eating going on lol

Day 18: What food is your weakness?

Avocados and oil. Oil scares the living shit out of me, jesus. Why does there have to be so many calories in such a small amount??? And I love avocados but I just can't look at them the same anymore lmao

Day 19: When was the last time you ate fast food?

Idk the last time but my family gets it pretty often. I used to use it as an excuse to binge but once you learn the low cal options it isn't rlly scary anymore

Day 20: Fav. diet

I don't really go by any specific diets, I just try to stay under a specific amount of calories

Day 21: What are your clothing sizes?

Idk at this point. It varies too much depending on the brand so I just try shit on and don't pay attention to the size

Day 22: What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?

Maybe like 8 lbs? Idk I don't much remember being a baby tbh

Day 23: Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?

Ofc lmao

Day 24: How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia?

I definitely don't like them lmao. I may be a bit hypocritical here as I spend so much time reading that shit, but it's different when it comes to other people ya know. I kinda worry just making posts like this is pro-ana? But like I can't talk to anyone else about it and I kinda need a secret vent acc so idk

Day 25: Have you ever purged? If so, describe your first experience.

I've tried, but I just. can't. I rarely ever vomit and honestly I think I'd rather fast it off than go through that. I wish I could just make myself do it but I keep removing my fingers once I gag

Day 26: What excites you most about reaching your UGW?

There's this cute two piece beach set I've had in my Amazon cart for so long that I'll finally be able to wear without hating myself. Hopefully lmao I may still be fat by then

Day 27: How do you deal with being around food?

I fucking love food. It's so hard for me to turn it down which is why I'm in this mess in the first place

Day 28: Do you want that gap between your legs (thigh gap)? Why?

Uh yeah. Idk why aside from that's what I was taught is attractive lmao. We live in a society tbh

Day 29: Your definition of beauty.

This one is difficult for me to answer. I want to be skinny but I don't think everyone does in order to be considered beautiful. Different people are just beautiful in different ways lol

Day 30: 10 facts about you!

I'm 16, female, my favorite director is either wes anderson or bergman (ik how this sounds lmao), uhh. Idk that's all you get lmao

#30 day thinspo challenge #30 day thinspo #disordered eating tw #thin inspo

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch. 5)

Chapter 5

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 1,942

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing...

               “Come downstairs and meet our new friends!” said Hoseok.

               Catalina’s eyes widened when she saw the person coming around the corner upstairs. He was bookmarking the book in his hands and closing it. As he walked down the stairs, Catalina took in his sharp, intelligent eyes, his full lips and otherwise soft features. His hair was styled delicately over his forehead, his shoulders were broad, his chest was big, even under his sweater and…

               Catalina knew those thighs.

               Jungkook choked beside Catalina and nudged her.

               “Thighs,” he whispered. Catalina nodded.

               “We saw you in the souvenir shop the other day,” said Catalina. “I’m sorry, uh, my name is Catalina.”

               “It’s nice to meet you,” Namjoon said with a smile, his dimples appearing. Catalina blushed. He was way too gorgeous. “Yeah, Hoseok and I stopped there on our way into town the other day. I think I remember seeing you two there.”

               “Oh! You guys work at the souvenir store!” said Hoseok. “I knew you looked kinda familiar.”

               “Yeah, we’re only there on the weekends,” said Jungkook. “We’re only gonna be working for the season.”

               “It seems like an interesting job,” said Hoseok. “You’ll get to see all the tourists.”

               “You guys are all students?” asked Namjoon. Catalina, Jungkook and Jimin all nodded. He asked them about their majors and what kinds of classes they were taking, which they happily answered until Catalina caught a glimpse of the time.

               “Guys, it’s three am,” she said. “We should probably head home.”

               “Oh jeez, we have that stupid French class at eight tomorrow,” said Jungkook.

               “We won’t keep you then,” said Taehyung. “Classes are important.”

               Taehyung walked them all out, through the front door this time, and the three friends began making their way back to the car.

               “Well, that was interesting,” said Catalina. “We didn’t die, so that was cool.”

               “I thought they were all pretty cool!” said Jungkook. “I mean, still a bit weird, but cool.”

               “Taehyungie wants me to teach him how to play video games,” said Jimin.

               “He wants you to teach him?” Jungkook asked with a laugh. Jimin smacked his arm.

               “We’ll be learning together,” said Jimin.

               “That’s so cute,” said Catalina. “You already have a nickname for him. Anyway, I have a question: why the hell were they all so attractive?”

               “I was thinking the same thing!” said Jimin. “It didn’t make any sense! Like, normal people don’t look like that. They were way too beautiful.”

               “We’re normal people though,” said Jungkook. Catalina and Jimin looked at him in confusion. “I mean, we’re hot too. Sometimes people are just hot.”

               “We’re like, normal people hot though,” said Jimin. “Those guys were like…gods or something.”

               “Yeah, way too pretty. Perfect skin, perfect hair, all charming,” said Catalina.

               “Red eyes,” Jimin mumbled.

               “Okay fine, they were unusually pretty,” said Jungkook. “I’m just glad we got some awesome footage today. I can’t wait to dump this.”

               “Okay, well don’t do it tonight, because we do have class tomorrow morning,” said Catalina.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Catalina was running again. Always running. Her feet were bare and her lungs burned. The concrete beneath her feet gave way to metal grating. Her footsteps clanged and echoed here as she made her way through the tunnels. She glanced behind her. It was dark, but she could see a set of red eyes approaching her, almost glowing. These eyes weren’t the ones she was used to. These were mean. These eyes looked at her like she was prey. The man who the eyes belonged to walked, as if it didn’t take much effort to chase after her. He had a sickening smile on his face.

               Catalina needed to get out of these tunnels. If she could get back to her friends, they’d protect her.

               “Here, kitty, kitty,” the man said, his voice mirthful. “Don’t you know trespassers get eaten, little kitty?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “I don’t remember what he looked like, but I remember what he said,” Catalina said to Jungkook as they made their way to the library. “He said, ‘Don’t you know trespassers get eaten, little kitty?’ Just like in your story.”

               “That’s creepy,” said Jungkook. “He had red eyes though? Was he one of those guys from the house?”

               “No, definitely not,” said Catalina. “I remember thinking about them, and you and Jimin, and thinking that I needed to reach you guys because you’d keep me safe. This is the first time I could remember so much.”

               “I wonder what these dreams mean,” Jungkook said as he opened the library door for her.

               “Thanks. Yeah, I have no idea,” said Catalina.

               “Maybe they’re prophetic,” said Jungkook.

               “God, I hope not,” Catalina said as they approached the table. Jin and Jimmy K were both sitting there, textbooks open.

               “Well, well, well,” said Jin. “Look who decided to finally show up today.”

               “You don’t have to greet us like that every time,” said Jungkook as Catalina laughed.

               “How are you guys today?” asked Catalina.

               “Now that you’re here? Fantastic,” said Jimmy K with a wink.

               Catalina blushed and said, “Okay, that’s enough, captain.”

               Catalina and Jungkook sat down as Jin began their tutoring session and Jimmy K studied silently beside them.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “So, game night,” said Jimin. “Do either of you know what to expect tonight?”

               “Nope! I’m just excited to sit around and eat,” said Catalina. “Take a right up ahead.”

               “Where? There’s no driveway, oh wait,” Jungkook turned into a somewhat overgrown driveway, hidden by the woods. “Also, we have a premier to watch!”

               “They’re gonna love it,” said Catalina. “Jimin, did you have fun yesterday?”

               “I did! Hoseok is a really good dancer,” he said. It’s been a week since they broke into the house and met Taehyung, Hoseok, and Namjoon. Yesterday, Catalina and Jimin had invited Hoseok to a freestyle session in the campus studio. He was happy to join them and show off his moves. They all ended up teaching each other different styles, but it was mostly Catalina and Jimin asking Hoseok to teach them the pop and lock style he was so good at.

               Jungkook’s car pushed through the heavily overgrown driveway until they reached cobblestone, which led right up to the mansion. Catalina closed her phone map and said, “Well, it’s good to know there’s an easier way up here.”

               “Yeah, I thought we’d have to keep hiking up those rocks every time,” said Jungkook as he put the car into park. The three friends piled out of the car, arms full of snacks, wearing their comfiest pajamas. The porch lights of the mansion were on, illuminating Taehyung as he opened the front door.

               “Welcome!” he shouted. “Did you find it okay?”

               “Yeah, Hoseok texted us a route,” said Catalina.

               “You guys and your fancy telephones,” said Taehyung. He let them in and they all took off their shoes. “So, we were thinking some board games tonight. Or card games. Or a game Hoseok described to us called Pictionary. Or we can just chat. Or-“

               “Tae, that all sounds great,” said Catalina.

               “Right, sorry,” he chuckled. “Here, follow me.”

               They followed Taehyung through a few halls before entering a cozy lounge. Big plush couches lined three walls, a flat screen tv was mounted against one wall and a low coffee table sat in the center of the room. Hoseok and Namjoon stood up from the couch as they entered. The smile fell from Taehyung’s face.

               “Where’s Yoongi?” he asked.

               “He said he wasn’t in the mood for game night,” said Namjoon.

               “Who’s Yoongi?” asked Jimin.

               “He’s our other roommate,” said Namjoon. “He’s been tired these days.”

               “He promised!” Taehyung pouted. “He told me he’d come to game night.”

               “Let’s go find him then,” said Hoseok.

               “I’ll go with you!” said Catalina. “I really want to see the house.”

               “Me too!” said Jimin.

               “Me three,” said Jungkook.

               “Okay, Tae tae, Namjoon, you two stay here and set up a game. I’ll give these three a tour,” said Hoseok. They dumped the snacks onto the coffee table and followed Hoseok out of the room.

               He led them through the massive house, through rooms so grand, Catalina wondered how big this house actually was.

               “This is the library,” said Hoseok. The room they were in was enormous. The ceiling was cavernous and domed and the bookshelves towered high.

               “This is an impressive collection,” said Catalina.

               “I know, these guys do love their books,” said Hoseok. “They’ve been collecting for years I guess.”

               “I’m sure,” said Catalina.

               Hoseok then led them through several hallways then showed off his bedroom. His room was so unlike the rest of the house, it felt like stepping into another world. Everything was bright and colorful, there were brand posters all over the walls and an impressive shoe collection beside the closet, which was open and showing off an array of colorful clothes. Hoseok then took them on a walk through the conservatory. There wasn’t much growing right now. It was mostly cracked marble and empty pots.

               “Maybe we can fill this room with plants next summer,” said Hoseok.

               “I garden with my mom every year,” said Jimin. “I’d love to help.”

               “That would be very nice,” said Hoseok. “This house deserves to be put back together again. It’s just so pretty.”

               He then led them back through the house. As they walked the halls, chatting about their classes and classmates, Catalina could hear the faint sound of a pipe organ.

               “Ah, he must be in the auditorium,” said Hoseok. Catalina’s eyes widened.

               “The auditorium?” asked Jimin. “You guys have an auditorium in here?”

               “With a pipe organ?” asked Catalina. Hoseok chuckled and rolled his eyes.

               “I know, right?” he said. “These guys are so dramatic. I guess they’re used to a certain lifestyle and they’re all rich for some reason…I mean, back in collage, I was happy when I could afford a cup of ramen in my one room dorm.”

               They followed the sound of the pipe organ until they came to the auditorium. The three friends gasped as they entered. The auditorium wasn’t huge, but it was incredibly elaborate. When Catalina was about twelve, her mother had taken her to a show at the Detroit Masonic Temple. This auditorium reminded her of the Masonic Temple auditorium, all carved wood and velvet seats. Up on the stage was a huge, ornate organ. The pipes lined the walls near the ceiling, emitting long, haunting notes. A man sat at the organ, hunched over the keys.

               “Yoonie-boonie honey-baby!” Hoseok shouted in his loudest, cutsey-est voice. The man at the organ stopped playing. Hoseok skipped down the aisle and hopped up onto the stage. “We have visitors, come meet them!”

               The man turned around slowly to look at them. He was just as beautiful as the other residents of the house. His eyes were dark red, just like the others, catlike and tired. His round face was pale, his lips in a slight pout.

               “I thought we weren’t having humans at the house,” Yoongi said. Hoseok laughed loudly, slapping his knee.

               “We’re all human here, so I’m not sure what that means!” said Hoseok. Catalina and Jungkook laughed along with him as Jimin just looked at them with wide eyes. Yoongi seemed like an interesting character. “Come to game night with us. I miss my honey-boy Yoonie bear.”

               Yoongi stood up and looked down at Catalina, Jungkook and Jimin from the stage.

               “It’s nice to meet you,” he said. “Will there be food at game night?”

               “I brought salt and vinegar chips,” said Jimin.

               “I brought chocolate,” said Catalina. Yoongi pointed at her.

               “A woman after my own heart,” said Yoongi. “I’ll come.”

#bts #the gangs all here! #bts fanfction #knights of the night #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jeongguk #Jimmy K #namjoon #rm #jin #yoongi #suga #jhope #hobi #jimin #v #jungkook #captain kirk #crystalstar

[tbhstudying]

hi! i'm starting a blog and a ytb channel and I'm thinking about starting a small business along with it, what advices would you have to be successful in it and maybe make it a full time job? I've been following you for a while I absolutely love you and your content you're very inspiring thank you :))

honestly idk how helpful it’ll be bc i def don’t see my yt as a full-time job if u know what i mean? i see it more of a hobby rather than a job + i wouldn’t even make minimum wage off it :(  here’s what i’ve got tho

the financial side of things

you likely won’t be making money off the first day or the first month or maybe even the first year. yt has a minimum sub count before you can monetize and a minimum revenue before they pay you, and that’s before you even begin to make enough money to cover minimum wage or basic living expenses. like, i don’t want to sound mean or discourage people from making yt channels, but absolutely do not approach it with the expectation that you’re going to make yourself rich with it. you’re only going to disappoint yourself. i think i got paid after like 2 or 3 years lol 

keep very good track of your paychecks and expenses for taxes + be very, very aware of the tax requirements for 1. youtube and 2. your small business. if you don’t keep good records, you’re going to have a hellish time later on, and if you don’t file taxes at all, you’re going to have the IRS hunting you down like a wild tiger in the wilderness.

you’re also going to have to learn how to budget very well, especially if you plan on making this a full-time job. money from social media work is sporadic. some months will be good, other months will be bad. make sure you’re going to be able to pay the basic expenses like food, rent, bills, etc. try not to get into credit card debt that you can’t pay off. 

^^ actually, this bit is p applicable to anyone. 

if ur just starting out, u don’t need to invest in the most expensive stuff. invest in better equipment when you have the 1. skills developed for it and 2. when you have the following for it. i still use my iphone to film tbh.

the other side of things

i have no idea what you plan to be doing for your blog or your youtube or your business, but whatever it is, figure out a consistent style and niche for yourself, upload consistently, and take advantage of the algorithms.

i kinda just dick around with this honestly bc this is my hobby rather than a business, but if i were to rly convert my thing into a business, i’d probably focus more on consistent branding and consistent production and perhaps even look into management. 

anyhow there’s that, hope it helped?

#can u tell that im absolutely disillusioned with social media work lmao #nuvolestudy #ask

[fishoutofcamelot]

(for the ask thing) any book/tv show/movie/song recommendations?

BRO! I heckin got you man! Now, I’m gonna skip the song and book recommendation bit because that sorta thing isn’t really my scene. BUT! In terms of TV? My rec list is like a mile long. I’m gonna include a read-more line, actually. 

BBC Merlin: You know I had to put this on the list. But the fact that you’re on my blog means you’ve probably watched this one, so I won’t go into detail about it. Available on Netflix

Mob Psycho 100: Just a cute, sweet story about a bunch of psychic kids trying to kill each other. A story with this much fighting has no right to be so wholesome. Mob is just a good boy, he doesn’t deserve all this! Fair warning, its messages about identity, self love, and growth WILL make you feel Emotions. Available on various anime pirating websites

Red vs Blue: The found family game is SO strong in this one. By far the best found family plot/dynamic I have ever and will ever experience. The characters are all so solid, yknow? Like it took me three rewatches to understand the plot, but I didn’t even care because I loved the characters SO MUCH. It’s also really, really funny (although some of the jokes have aged a bit poorly tbh). Basically about a bunch of space marines who goof off and accidentally dismantle corrupt governments along the way. Available on Youtube

Supernatural: Is it cringey? Yeah. Does the fandom suck? Also yeah. Is Destiel overrated? BIG yeah. But it’s got monsters, magic, family, and a plot that doesn’t revolve around romance - and really, what more could you ask for? And sure, a lot of people don’t really like the later seasons, but idk I actually prefer them. Season 15 has me THRIVING. I mean come on - character vs author?! Fighting the guy who literally wrote you into existence because he doesn’t want to give your story a happy ending?! Say what you will about Supernatural, but it’s one of the most imaginative shows I’ve ever seen. Available on Netflix

Avatar the Last Airbender: You like stellar animation, intricate worldbuilding/magicbuilding, and a perspective on war that is surprisingly mature for a kids show? Check it out. This show is without a doubt one of the best animated series of all time. Go on. Watch it. It’ll change your life. Available on Netflix

The Umbrella Academy: Time-travelling assassins. Superheroes. Ghosts. Talking monkeys. Murder mysteries. Baller soundtracks. This show will never give you what you expect. I don’t even think I could properly describe it to you. Available on Netflix

Detective Conan: An anime. It’s about a teen detective - think Nancy Drew but bloodier - who witnesses a crime and is fed an experimental poison in order to keep him from telling anyone. But instead of killing him, the poison turns him into a 6-year-old. So now he’s got to solve crimes and take down a criminal organization while in the body of a child. Naturally, shenanigans ensue. Fair warning, the main character becomes a bit of a Mary Sue in later episodes, but the first 300 or so are pretty fun. A few episodes are available on Netflix, but not any of the good ones. You’ll need an anime pirating website for that

Knives Out: My favourite movie ever, of all time. It’s a murder mystery that both subverts and pays homage to its parent genre in all the right places. It’s funny, it’s intelligent, and has a spectacular ending! Although I do wish the fandom would stop being so horny for Ransom, I mean he’s literally racist...No clue where you can find this tbh, I saw it in theatres

Derry Girls: Now I’m not normally a big fan of realistic fiction/sitcom stuff. Despite how funny they are, I’ve not even watched The Office or Parks and Rec because that normal daily life stuff just doesn’t peak my interest. And yet, somehow this story about a group of Irish high schoolers just has me enthralled. Very funny, very well-written, give it a watch. Available on Netflix

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Another anime. Phenomenal animation? Check. Fascinating plot and characters? Check. Detailed magic system that gets my lore-obsessed heart fluttering? Big heckin check. So basically two kids try to use Fantasy Science to bring their mom back to life, only the experiment fails and has some pretty nasty consequences - one boy loses his arm and leg, while the other loses his entire body and has his soul bound to a suit of armour. Now they gotta go through government conspiracies, ethical dilemmas, and Daddy Issues to try and get their bodies back. Available on Netflix

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Yet another anime. I know, I know, I’m a nerd, get over it. This show doesn’t have a complex plot or even complex characters, tbh, but what it does have is some amazing humour. It’s extremely funny, and it’s also just a nice show to kick back and relax to. Basically this guy who’s so op that he could rewrite the laws of reality on a whim is stuck dealing with relationship drama in high school despite being very, very asexual and very, very tired. Mostly he just uses his powers to avoid people and eat junk food, which is honestly a mood. Available on Netflix

Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Honestly I’d recommend almost anything that’s Scooby Doo-related because that was my childhood obsession. I used to have like 20 of the movies on DVD before my mom gave them all away. To this day I still love Scooby Doo, and watch it whenever I get the chance. But if you ask any SD fan, they’ll probably tell you that Mystery Incorporated is the best, most intelligent, most creative installment in the franchise. And they’re right (although I do wish there was less relationship drama...) Available on Netflix

Evil Genius: This is a documentary series about the Collar Bomb Robbery. Now, despite what the above list might indicate, I actually watch a LOT of documentaries, and if I were here to recommend all of them then we would be here all day. Not really ‘funny’ like the other entries on this list, it’s actually rather tragic, but definitely a cerebral viewing experience. Available on Netflix

Screwball: Now this is a documentary that IS funny. It’s about drug scandals in baseball. But the dramatic scene re-enactments are done with child actors that are all wearing fake beards and pretending to be drug dealers. It’s not only a fascinating subject, but it’s got amazing editing and visuals that have me in awe. Available on Netflix

Behind the Curve: Yet another documentary. This one’s about the rise of the Flat Earth movement. You’ll spend most of the time on the verge of having a stroke because of how stupid it all is. Available on Netflix

The Movies That Made Us: Okay okay okay last documentary on the list I swear. This one’s exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a series talking about the behind-the-scenes production of iconic movies like Home Alone and Ghostbusters. I eagerly await the second season. Available on Netflix

Monster Factory: If you’re familiar with the McElroy brothers and their brand of humour, you’ll love this. Griffin and Justin team up to make the most disturbing avatars they can create using video game character creators. The origins of the Final Pam meme. If I had a shirt with a quote from Monster Factory on it, I’d die a happy man. Available on Youtube

Baman Piderman: The dumbest show I have ever watched, but it’s so adorable and stupid and I love it so much. It doesn’t really have a plot, but later episodes allude to the presence of one and I’m upset because there are so many mysteries/questions hinted at and we’ll never get answers because it’s been abandoned. PLEASE watch it. Available on Youtube

Stranger Things: Okay, season 2 was a bit of a let-down imo, but season 1 was ICONIC and the Scoops Troop subplot in season 3 deserved its own freakin spinoff. I’m not joking. I didn’t even like s3 all that much, but the only reason it’s my favourite is because the Scoops Troop plot was so great. People call this show ‘horror’ but I don’t think it’s scary enough for that, although it is admittedly kinda spooky. If you like 80s nostalgia and the horror aesthetic, then I’d give it a watch (Do it for Scoops Troop. Do it for Robin). Available on Netflix

Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart: Despite my overwhelming love for this film, I’ll be the first to admit it’s kinda mediocre. The plot is weird and the romance feels forced, but despite its flaws it manages to be one of my favourite movies. Mostly I just like it for the unique concept and beautiful ending. Also the music is off the par man. Probably because the writer/producer of the movie was the lead singer for a French band called Dionysus (what? I do my research). Available on Netflix

Wakfu: I haven’t seen past season 3, but so far it’s pretty good. You go in thinking it’s just a wholesome action/adventure show about a kid who can create portals - but then it just. Sucks you in. From its bopping theme song to its fantastic found family to the unique worldbuilding, you very quickly fall in love with it. It’s got a cool plot and also talking dragons, and it doesn’t get better than that. Available on Netflix

Mystery Skulls Animated: Technically not a TV show so much as it is a series of animated music videos with a plot, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the greatest things of all time. It’s basically Scooby Doo but if Shaggy got possessed by a demon and killed Fred, causing Fred to become a ghost hellbent on revenge-killing Shaggy in return. And if Scooby was an ancient Japanese spirit that bit off Shaggy’s arm, forcing him to wear a metal prosthetic. Yeah, MSA is wild. It’s only got three videos out so far, with a fourth one coming out this October, but there’s already so much lore! Available on Youtube

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared: Ah yes, yet another cringey entry on this list. But you know what? Cringe culture is dead!!! And despite its fandom being...like that...DHMIS really is a cool show. Think if Sesame Street was like haunted or something. The episodes about creativity and telling time remain the most unsettling, imo. Definitely worth a watch. Available on Youtube

Inanimate Insanity: Oh boy. Am I seriously recommending you dip your little fingies into the object fandom? Yes. Yes I am. This show is so obscure it makes freakin Detective Conan look popular. At its core it’s a parody of Total Drama Island and Survivor but with anthropomorphized inanimate objects as characters (hence the name). Season 2 is actually really, really good and surprisingly competent. You just gotta get through season 1 first. Available on Youtube

The X-Files: Wow, a live action series on this list? Who woulda thought??? But seriously, this show is really fun. Memes and jokes aside, I love it. Scully and Mulder are fun characters with great chemistry (both platonic and romantic), the Lone Horsemen are hilarious, and every episode is a unique adventure into the most creative acid trips the human mind could conceive of. Phenomenal from start to finish (if you ignore the last season). I have no clue where you would watch this. Pirate it, probably

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Two idiots investigate cold cases and haunted locales while being utter dumbasses about it. You know the “hey demons it’s be ya boi” meme? That came from these guys. Available on Youtube

Kingdom: Ngl, I didn’t go into this expecting zombies. Or for it to take place during Korean feudalism, for that matter. But mediocre dubbing aside, this show has such a clever concept. It takes the zombie apocalypse genre and gives refreshing, unique twists to old tropes that they feel like something new. Seo-bi is my wife and she deserves all the love and appreciation in the world, and those are just Facts. Available on Netflix

My Hero Academia: Superhero high school anime. I personally am not a fan of later episodes/arcs, but the first three seasons are pretty dang good. Diverse, colourful ensemble cast that you easily grow to adore, interesting commentary on disability (although I’m not qualified to give any actual takes on that), and a school curriculum that makes me very, very concerned for the wellbeing of these children. Plus all the superpowers - aka ‘quirks’ - are super imaginative and, well, quirky! I just wish people would stop shipping the main character with his childhood bully...You’ll need to pirate this one too lmao

Danny Phantom: The highlight of this show is its ‘phandom’, because unlike someone (*cough* Butch Hartman), we’re not a bunch of cowards. It’s about a guy who messes around with his parents’ lab stuff and accidentally acquires the ability to die! Well, half-die. He can turn into a ghost and fight other ghosts. Although the show never explores the existential, traumatic fallout of being kinda-sorta-dead, the potential for something deep and emotional is there. Plus there is a LOT of accidental subtext for a Big LGBT+ Metaphor. So much so that the Trans Danny theory is basically canon. Uhhh not available on Netflix anymore so it’s time to whip out your pirate hat, matey

And there you have it! Like I said, I have a lot of TV recommendations. And I just KNOW I’m forgetting a ton, but this is already really long so we’ll have to cut off here. 

Thanks for the ask! <3

#ask #fish post

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

answering a bunch of asks under cut

it is time for me to stop hiding from my 500+ asks akjsdfgh 

shigaraki owns a pair of high heels when he is alone to feel extra baddie

okay but there is not a single human alive who wouldnt look hot in a pair of high heels, he’d look so good

Twice just— I fkn luv this man okay? I’ve read your drabbles (idk the words for it) and I just— my heart fkn can’t and his face is so 🥴, but like you know who I think doesn’t get a lot of love? Sir Nighteye. This man just gives me big daddy vibes and I just ughhhhhhhhhhh dAdDy FuCk mE uP ,, anyways I thank you for your continuous contributions to society (it gives me life and purpose 😫👍)

YOU HAVE REFINED TASTE thats the best of both worlds bby, a sweet sub and a strict dom!! nighteye is gud shit but that hair color be wack im sorry

Having bad parents doesnt make you a bad parent. One of my best friends had a horible mother and now she has a daughter. I have never seen a happier child. But I do understand the concern! It can be terrifying to think of being a parent but in the end the choice is yours. Neither is a bad option to take. If you want a child, you can always be a wonderful parent. If not, than you can live knowing that you won't have to bare the burden of that fear.

objectively i know that lol i was just ranting about my feelings, we are not always rational thinkers even when we know the truth 

I flipped a coin and now I’m a stripper making $3000 a night so I flipped good

fuck yes dude earn that COIN

If people are sure they don’t want kids can’t they get Permanent castration

i’m sure there’s options but what do i know i’m just a humble porn blog 

Imagine being in a cramped car with the rest of the lov and having to sit on tomuras lap because of the lack of space and half way through the ride he starts randomly biting your back and neck and pinching in between your thighs and when you tell him to stop because it tickles he’ll feign innocence and pretend not to know what you’re talking about until you eventually give up and let him be the annoying rat he is

okay but tomura being annoying and clingy and trying to elicit responses from you is so on brand. and the more you ignore him or get pissed, the more he does it. ugh my boyfriend does this and i want to destroy him every time asdkh

your doing great we are all collectively suffering in adulthood but please dont let anyone makenyou feel like you have to have kids and what not before you feel 1000% ready

thank you anon, i dont really feel pressured by others, just by my own mind

Imagine when tomuras arc gets animated he becomes 2nd or 3rd most popular.

it’s what our king DESERVES, hell he belongs in first place, people be sleeping on the best character 

Personally I think if I ever did have a kids I would adopt an older child maybe when I'm in my 30s. The majority of older children will never be adopted and really need a loving family. Not to mention dealing with an older child is a lot easier than a kid. You can reason with a 13 year old but not a 3 year old.

that’s a noble goal! everyone deserves a welcome home and loving families 

I went to a restaurant to celebrate my 18th birthday a couple of years ago and they gave me a kids menu lol (yeah for 13 and under). I’m 21 now. I ordered a strawberry daiquiri the other week and the waiter just brought over a virgin one hehehe. I thought it was odd when he didn’t card me. Good times man.

jaksfhja you get me ... although kids menus are the fuckin bomb, if i have to sacrifice my dignity for some dino shaped chicken nuggets then by all means

i feel like tomura and afo will wreck u in bed and kurogiri will be all sensual and passionate and twice is a chaotic hentai lord willing to do whatever

this is it, this is the most accurate description of them all 

twice is the villain version of kirishima: respect lesbians

yet again proving that HIMBOS ARE THE BEST 

you know those green text stories people post from 4chan?? shiggy probably makes those just to flex on his fellow 4chan users because he got laid

oh my god i wish i was creative enough to come up with a green text for him, but i could never quite match their chaotic energy 

At times like these I need to turn on post notifications for all these thirst posts that happen when I stop checking tumblr 😭😭😭😭

dont do it man my thirst posts are dookie that dont deserve to see the light of day

Tomura accidentally decays mommas hair again when he's older, and she's married to Kurogir. He flinches, and expects the anger he saw when he did it when he was little from AFO to come form Kurogiri, but instead you laugh and Kurogiri just shakes his head and mutters something about cutting your hair short again so there isn't a weird patch

aawww the wholesome family he always deserved ;-; 

someone yeets momma readers wig and litterally the whole villain league rolling up minutes later with a pissed gremlin

this person bout to get that GTA treatment 

When I saw shigaraki in chapter 255 I thought he was getting fucked by tentacles and that his blood was just massive amounts of cum at first

i wish .... i wish ;-; 

I had a nightmare shigaraki broke up with me for mineta and when I asked shiggy why he would do that he said “mineta’s balls are bigger then your small fucking titties” why, why did my brain have to come up with something so cured

THIS WILL HAUNT ME FOR LIFE how dare you tomura 

I just wanna spend an entire day getting fucked by shiggi 🥵

this is the goddamn dream, i dont wanna work or have responsibilities i just wanna be his cumdumpster 

gang orca will probably have a soccer team full of kids and is vv proud of it and is not afraid to throw hands with his little orcas

omg yeesss he’s so gentle with them even when he’s roughhousing with his kids and he lets them climb all over him and he pretends to be KO’d by their antics in mock fights and he ruffles their hair and ugh so cute 

#this is all i have energy for right now #god there's a mountain of asks left #alison talks

[mutantsrisingrpg]

Congratulations DYLAN! You’ve been accepted as NEPTUNE.

Dylan, I was so excited to see you apply for a second character and even more excited to see you apply for Neptune! The cosmic metaphor that you weaved throughout the entire app is something that I absolutely loved. Making Avery be the second born and comparing it to leftover cosmic energy had me howling! I also loved that you wrote about how special twins are when it comes to mutants - their powers being the yin to the others yang was especially something that stood out to me. I’m so, so excited to see you bring Avery to life! 

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

Out of Character Information:

NAME/ALIAS: Dylan

PRONOUNS: He/Him

AGE: 22

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: GMT. 6/7 Days

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Avery O’Brien aka Neptune

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Male, He/Him

DETAILS & ANALYSIS:

Avery can take you by surprise. At first you might just see this edgy kid walking down the street, fists clenched and ready to throw them at the first person to give them a skew look. With a packet of Marlboro in his back pocket and tongue primed with his general response, ‘fuck off’, you just simply wouldn’t expect Megan the Stallion to be blasting through his earphones as he walked.

Sure, Avery definitely knew how to get himself into trouble and he had picked up a few bad habits along the way but Avery would probably be the kindest and most loyal friend you could make. He’d often babysit his neighbors kids and he genuinely enjoyed it. His aesthetic was mostly a facade, tough and ready to rumble when he’d definitely prefer to avoid a fight if possible.

He might be young, but don’t underestimate him. He’s been on the street long enough to know how things work and life has definitely taught him how to look out for himself and his sister. He’s pulled off countless jobs since their parents kicked them out and has managed to keep his hands as clean as they could be. So what gives Avery the edge? He’s cunning and smart, he knows how to work angles and get what he wants, one way or another.

As for Avery’s powers, he doesn’t really understand them, and nor does the rest of the world, to be honest. He’s read multiple essays and watched countless videos on dark matter and energy and what that meant exactly. When he uses his powers, it’s as if he can feel each individual molecule of something, measuring up its mass. He can then change how gravity affects the object, making it ‘heavier’ or ‘lighter’. He’s also experimented with dark energy blasts which seem to be an invisible force that pushes everything out of its way and constantly expands if he doesn’t control it. Honestly, his powers frighten him, as does the unknown to all humans. What really gets to him is that if Dark Energy is what causes the universe to keep expanding, should he really be playing around with that shit?

BIO:

TW: Homophobia

Penelope was born first and then Avery, like the leftover cosmic energy when a star is born. The two were inseparable and doing so would bring about the same results as splitting an atom, metaphorically. As they grew older, they spaced apart but were still always in each other’s orbits, one revolving their life around the other and visa versa. As far as Avery could remember, his early childhood was a good one, or maybe he was just far too young to really see how his family life really was. He went to school, worked hard and would come home only to spend the rest of his free time with Penelope.

As he got older, Avery was always testing his boundaries. How far could he push his luck with his parents, peers, teachers, and even law enforcement. He hung around with the wrong crowd and got pulled into things he never originally wanted to do. It was nothing serious until he was involved in the destruction of a school bus. Nobody could explain how the bus had been crushed nor who had been involved. It happened just after summer break, Avery and a group of his friends had snuck onto school campus that night just to mess around and smoke some weed. Avery was mainly there for Mitch Evans, Avery’s love interest at the time.

The night progressed and the group ended up hanging out in a school bus. The group whittled down to just 4 kids when Avery finally gained the courage to make a move on Mitch. He had tried to kiss the other and Mitch’s reaction was violent and resulted in Mitch punching Avery in the face and shoving him out of the bus. The flurry of embarrassment and heartbreak felt as if it was crushing his soul and before he knew it, the bus started to creak as the metal began to indent. The group inside had mostly been able to get out untouched, everyone except Mitch, who’s leg got stuck under a chair whilst the bus was imploding. After managing to free Mitch from the bus and getting him to the nearest hospital, the group vowed never to mention what had happened out of fear that whatever crushed the bus would follow them. Little did they know that Avery was the one that had crushed the bus and the only other person to ever know this would be Penelope. That was also the last time that Avery ever spoke to Mitch Evans.

That was just the beginning of weird events that would follow the O’Brien twins. Their father seemed to end every day with a bottle of whiskey and their mother seemed to become more unhinged every day. Avery pushed through, working hard at school, knowing that getting into college would be his escape. Having Penelope was also a blessing, having someone he could trust and open up too was a privilege he knew not many had.

Half-way through high school was when it all changed. Their parents had officially rejected them and kicked them out of the house. They had nowhere to go and started crashing on their friend’s couches. Soon Avery was given the opportunity to work a job with one of his friend’s older brothers and he took it. They robbed a yacht and got away with a bag full of expensive jewelry and cash from the on-board bar. It took a couple of weeks before the money was laundered, but Avery got his cut and a reputation. He was asked to do a couple of more jobs and started learning the ropes. It was his senior year when he pulled off his own job. He put most of his money into a savings account to buy a place for him and his sister. He finished school and was given a bursary to study engineering at a local college.

Now, at the age of 24 he is still studying engineering and lives in a decent apartment with his sister. He also works as an intern at a local high-end engineering firm that specialises in space technology. At night he works as a bartender which is mostly a cover and is where he gets approached by most of his clients to pull off jobs for them for a percentage of the cut. There’s been a change in the winds recently though and whispers of new and powerful mutant gangs coming to Miami has him watching his back.

His life is extremely busy so he’s constantly living in the now. If you stopped him and asked him what his goals were, he’d default to saying something about making sure that Penelope is safe, not that she needs his protection, but he barely thinks about what he wants these days. That’s why everyone in his life that has a ‘more than friends’ status seems to come and go, Avery doesn’t think about what he wants and always puts others first before himself, stretching himself as thinly as possible which often leaves his partners feeling neglected or toyed with.

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS:

Penelope O’Brien. It’s said that twins have some sort of special connection, and if that were true for humans, it was definitely true for mutants, especially if their powers were the yin to the other’s yang. Penelope was like the birth of a brand new star whilst Avery was the death of one. They were each other’s best friends from the second they were born. Not only was Penelope always there for him, she was the only one he confided in after the school bus incident. They spent countless nights staying up until sunrise chatting about boys and girls, school, life goals, games and so much more! Penelope was the first person Avery spoke to about his powers and he was so happy that he wasn’t the only twin with ‘gifts’. Being able to support each other was so much easier since they shared a secret. If anything weird would happen they’d race to the other and tell them, learning about each other’s powers together. Penelope wasn’t just his twin sister, they were his best friend too! Considering that Avery struggled to keep love around, this meant a lot to him. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without her and that’s why he’d die for her. He’d rather not be alive than live a life without her. This is where Avery’s loyalty turned fierce and where he would definitely cross a line if need be. In a sense, Penelope was Avery’s weakness in more than one way, emotionally and physically. He was sure that if there was anyone that could match his powers it would be Penelope and to what extent, he had no idea and he hoped that he’d never have to find out.

EXTRA:

Oh boy oh boy. I MEAN. What shouldn’t I put here?

I’m thinking that his reputation might get one of the groups to approach him? Maybe more than one group gets him to work for them as a freelancer?

Honestly I’m probably going to make a lot of content for Avery throughout the next week purely because I have so much muse for him, but I also kinda wanted to get this app in and this doesn’t influence decisions so… but here’s a link to the Pinterest board:

https://pin.it/3FkPGew

I might also make a mock-blog? And on there I’ll have graphics and headcanons? IDK. I’ll send it in if I do.

ANYTHING ELSE: Nope! All good! I honestly love this RP so much and I’m waaaaaay too invested for my own good.

#accepted #accepted: neptune

[linos-teeth]

[1/?] Hhhh sorry for disappearing for a week too it's been a (mentally, but i can sense the howework is coming for my ass soon) busy time ig?? God it went, idk, better than i expected but at the same time worse? Idk im just mostly alone all the time except when i can hang out with friends in the higher grade (we dont have the same schedule so it's rare) but in my class? Fuck, your boy got no one JDSVKS but i think i made a friend today but im not sure?

[2/?] We exchanged numbers and she was nice but she seems too cool,, for me,, idk how to act around new people anymore,, so yeah basically how my week went, alone in my sadness and already crying because of school lol so i feel you, i reallly want to just run away from responsibilities :) my new school is ugh idk, i’m not used to be this free with basically everything so it’s weird for me? Schedule’s kinda ok, ppl in my class are (for now) rather normal, teachers are ALL jdh BOR I N G– anyway!!

[3/?] It’s sad you’re not going to see your friend before next year, god :(( i hope you’ll get good friends at uni,,— and well not stress too much abt real life eiTHER and erm i cant offer advices or anything obviously but fuck yeah i’m (for the 373929th time, i’m sorry for ALWAYS repeating myself) here to listen :(((

[4/4, finally] + dont apologize abt not gif-fing (??) anymore, really, your mental health is way more important!! Take all the time you need to figure things out n all, and understand im not saying we dont care abt your gifs (i personnaly rlly like them!!), but its toTALLY OK AND UNDERSTANDABLE YOU TAKE CARE OF URSELF FIRST anyway i may have forgot things i wanted to say? But its getting rlly long so ill stop here but basically ily and wish u good luck with finding a place and all that stuff! 💕

HELLO FRIEND guess who disappeared for over a week i’m the one who’s sorry :// i feel you soso much wow my mind is just like.....dead i was away for 3 days this week to sort stuff out with the other uni in person like i had to hand in a document to receive another and bus connections are disgusting so i had to stay 2 nights but!!! it went well the counsellor was rly sweet (good bc i felt like i’d offended her when we were exchanging emails rip) and now i’ve got all my documents on the way and i just need them to arrive on time aka monday which is the deadline for applications aND THEN I’M GOOD TO GO!!! i also have a rly nice place to stay temporarily with a family and their baby randomly loves me and the guy and i share the same favorite football club so life‘s quite alright (just the wifi uh....kinda sucks so.........idk what that means for this blog yet)

bUT!!! i hope hw is treating u alright and school too! sucks that the ppl you get along with don’t share classes with you but i’m glad you have them still!! and the girl too i hope she’s still being good and i don’t have to beat anyone up bc wtf nonny i rly don’t think she’s too cool for u!! like coolness rly is subjective and maybe you’re her brand of cool! like i don’t think i’m cool but ppl say i am and i find ppl cool who think they aren’t you feel me?? but yeah anyway i hope that is going well ♥ i get the freedom part i cried sm when i started uni bc they don‘t rly tell you shit any more and me as someone who needs detailed instructions for everything i was like jhaskfjahskfjahskfas

also sue me but i think boring teachers are the best the fun ones usually turned out to be fake for me tbh bUT I DON’T WANNA BE NEGATIVE

but i don’t like the sound of the sad :/// are u feeling better?

bUT YEAH THE PLAN IS TO SHARE WITH U AND MY FOLLOWERS (even tho i don’t wanna rant too much without rly contributing to the community you know) except i’ve been kinda hating tumblr lately esp with birthday season i got some big blog crisis again (ha look at ur part 4......i failed u again sorry) BUT I’M RLY TRYING AND I GOT SOMEONE TO HIT ME WITH A LITERAL STICK WHEN I TALK SHIT ABT MY BLOG SO!! DW

but yeah i’ll try to reply quicker from now on!!! i hope you had a good week pls know that i love you and i’m sending you hugs always ♥♥♥

#ty for the compliment! abt my gifs #would u like me to gif smth specific #ask #anonymous #💕 anon #so sorry to those whose read more doesnt work

[verobatto]

"Break the jar, and do it again." The slow construction of Canon Destiel

Ok people the hiatus is gone and the new chapter aired so we have now time for interesting thoughts…

This is another Destiel meta, sorry again if anyone already talked about this ideas, you can share your opinions here!

We want Destiel become canon. That's law. But how you get together two characters with such defectives inner issues? Like Cas and Dean? Are they ready to be together? I know we are just NEAR to... But we need just a little big step for that...

Before we start to break things here... I want to discuss about one of the most important tool used by Supernatural writers... And bc I like symbolic titles... I'm gonna title it like this...

Supernatural and the Phoenix Complex

Spn must be the most mortal series, and we have memes of our beloved characters's taste for dying over and over again throughout the entire series and reliving in the same season or in the next.

Like the Phoenix, they reborn from their ashes renewed. And that's the meaning from this.: "I'm giving you this so many chances to change your point of view, so you can see with new eyes."

Is the same concept with the breaking point trough lost, pain and tragedy.

Moving this idea to the slow construction of Canon Destiel, we had witnessed how they broke Cas and Dean over and over again, just to develop their characters into a renewed and healthy ones, only in this way, they'd be able to love each other in a plenty way.

So .. let's keep the concept about "breaking the defective jar, to make the jar again." A new one, a better one...

We need new Cas and new Dean, loving themselves, growing in self acceptance and learning about communication.

Ok .. now we're ready for the jam here...

... Let's brake some jars ...

1) Breaking Castiel

Well... We have this millennial Supernatural been with a very hard to break settings. A program that every angel have: Obedience, castity, submission and complete the mission. How do you break a program like that? We need a really good hacker... Maybe one with green eyes? 😹

Godstiel.

Godstiel was the result from a desperate decisions coming from Cas to protect Dean from another Apocalypse. Cas couldn't manage the immensely of having thousands of souls and the hug power corrupted him.

But this traumatic experience didn't help Cas to improve. This experience gave us a depressing Castiel for the following two seasons. So this... Just depressed him deeply.

Human!Cas

Human!Cas was the breaking point for the character. This was the improvement he needed. Being human guide him to a brand new Cas. Changing his perspective about humanity and make him fell more in love with it 😉 if you know what I mean. This was the remarkable, tragic, but blessed situation that brought him to the bottom of himself. Yes. He was broken but still learning and growing. This was good for the character.

Empty!Cas and AUCastiel

Empty!Cas was another very important impulse for the character, at the beginning of the s13, where Cas talking with the Empty, was like "looking himself in the mirror" but not really, was more the meaning of it. Cas faces himself, his fears and feelings, he embraced all of that, and knowing he already was saved, he came back with his family. Closing this meaning by the end of the same season when he faces now AUCastiel, another "looking himself in the mirror" and he embraces his family, the Winchesters. Knowing AUCastiel helped Cas to reconciling with himself. And the meaning of killing that part of him, big development of the character. Cas killed all that lack of emotion, lack of fee will. Now he knows he don't regret chose Dean, humanity, and fell for it. That was huge for him, and prepared us to close his character issues. Now that he can love himself, he could freely love Dean.

But... We still have that miscommunication factor that is the last step. Aaaand the little, tiny big detail that he already confessed his love to Dean and he felt rejected? Well yes... That's bad...

Mourning!Cas

Mourning!Cas, the actual arc, came to sell the character giving him the last lesson trough pain and loose. How this Cas, whom tasted corruption, depression, redemption, humanity, reacts now facing AUMichael!Dean. Facing lost. Facing this "bond in pause" as I mentioned in my other meta, as Dean faced it in s13 with Castiel's death. Well I'm not very sure about if he is into a soldier mode? Or depressing mode? I'm gonna choose the second one... When he talks with Jack and said WE ARE GONNS FIGHT AND GET DEAN BACK AND KILL AU MICHAEL and etc, etc... He is talking with himself, and he is almost in tears... Emotional... He looks more human in his facial expressions. So yes .. Cas is being very human... He miss Dean... The bond is in pause.... Sigh... I hope he become more determined and aggressive to get Dean back... Let's wait and see... But this episode 1 Cas sounded me like... "I just wait here, then" please come back Dean. 🤷 I'm clueless...

2) Breaking Dean

Dean had always the height from being the first born, the obedient son, carrying on his shoulders with the oppressive idea of a toxic masculinity, the responsibility for being the older brother, toxic codependency and last, but not less important, fighting against his repressed feelings and desires. This whole defective jar needs a lot of breaking.

His years in Hell

Well, we have a very heavy past here, Dean have been trough so many traumatic experiences, he had suffer the lost from his father and Sam. The pressure of being responsible of his father death and not being able to save his brother, consumed him I'm despair, and that led him to make that deal with the cross road demon.

Once in hell he breaks... And when he come back, he just talked about it once with Sam. And that's it. Bc Dean .. and here is the big growing up impediment of the character... He's the Master of Disguise.

(And we have symbolism here again, bc Dean loves disguise, we had seen him in many chapters playing with it... He use disguise as an scape for fun... And for self protection. We could said he disguise his body and his feelings... And that's it)

So he pushes all those feelings again deep down his soul. This feelings and trauma doesn't' exist if I don't look at them. I'll be just fine!

So Hell was a traumatic experience, but it didn't improve the character for good. He remains as constipated emotionally as when he started. So... Not good.

Purgatory

I had already talked about how Dean facing his pure and true feelings in this place. This traumatic experience was positive for the character, bc how I said before, in Purgatory Dean realizes that he is in love with Cas when in his soul remains just what was pure in him (without others humans necessities). Maybe he wouldn't use the 'L' word here, he used the "Need" word as a love confession, then he felt rejected by Cas and decided locking his feelings again, but yes... Now he knows.

Yes... Season 8 was good... 😏

The mark of Cain and Demon!Dean

This was very traumatic for Dean and for us! Dean become a monster. Literally. He hit bottom here... A very good breaking point! But again... He continued doing the same "put down the feelings, and everything will be just fine".

The only good thing here was this inner realization...

This is what Dean learns going through that traumatic experience.

Cas showed him that he knew him very well, and even so, he accepted him. That was scary for Dean. That's a feeling he wasn't used to manage.

Something is growing up slowly in his mind, the idea of sharing his life with someone else...

Gif from @veryamooseing blog

I like that seed that was planted and become to release a little bud...

And this idea is settled when Dean felt he was about to change and die. He was a monster that was about to kill his own brother. When he become in what he hated and hunted all his life, he breaks again and in that huge situation, he become to reorder his priorities. Love, family, retirement? Settled down with a hunter? Building Dean' cave and watch movies with Cas?

Mourning!Dean

Dabb's era brought us a recurring fact: Dean goes crazy when Cas isn't in the bunker or don't answer the phone.

We thought wen Cas come back Dean would be able to recognize his feelings for him and maybe... Tell him??? Or change a little about it? But no. What we get after all this mourning was again, the pushing down emotions and more fear. Yes... A disaster! Dean keeps locked into this emotional prison and he can't get out himself for it. He doesn't advance. He is stuck. And now that he's afraid of loosing people he loves (Castiel) and now that he realizes he's in love with Cas... Well more and more fear... Sigh...

Michael!Dean

Well this is so interesting plot and opportunity for Dean's character development. We have AUMichael talking with two people about LOVE, PEACE, PURITY AND SAVE THE WORLD. If this isn not a mirror for Empty!Cas then idk what it is... And yes .. this is AUMichael talking indirectly to Dean...

"You think you want peace? But you bring war all the time with your actions... You think you want Love? But you lock it down and ignore it. You think you have purity in your heart? But you are just lies. You think you save the world? But you can't even save you from your own hate for yourself.

Yes, this is a huge opportunity for Dean to begin once for all to grow up in self acceptance and in love for himself, facing as it was in Purgatory, the purity that remains in his heart and soul. He can reach peace enjoying retirement with Cas and Sam. He can love Cas romantically and he can love his family in a healthy way.

This is the new Dean we are expecting to find through S14. This is the kind of breaking point, phoenix complex, new and improved jar, we were waiting for Dean. Let's see what happens.

So slow, slow, slowly but with sure steps we hope the construction of Destiel Canon wait for us at the end of this journey.

Sorry... This is so large!! Did you really read this mess? I really sorry... But if you did, please feel free to discuss.

I'm tagging for debate...

@magnificent-winged-beast @sactownbrowns3 @lovemesomecas94 @naruhearts @thedogsled @dimples-of-discontent @lykanyouko @mrsaquaman187 @evvvissticante @agusvedder @navajolovesdestiel @destielhoneybee @castiellover20

And everyone who want to discuss!

#my meta #break point #repetitive death #phoenix complex #characters's development #destiel canon #canon destiel #destiel meta #castiel #dean winchester #dabb's circular narrative #dabb's era #mirrors #emotional prison #slow construction of destiel canon

[aba-ridemerenji]

people always want to know these fictional characters' kinks, but what are YOURS 👀

ANON THIS IS SO SWEET????? Nobody ever asks me what I like (and i don’t expect them to, this is a Bleach imagines blog). Thank u for asking, baby angel! This is going to be VERY NSFW and TMI.

There are... a lot. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but like… I can only be so vulnerable at any one time ok

CREAMPIES – it’s not the idea of getting pregnant, so much as the, er, substance and the feeling of being stuffed like a double stuffed oreo

since we’re on the topic of being stuffed, big dicks. thick dicks. Just the THOUGHT of being stretched out by a fat one is 👌 (I’m not trying to be a size queen, dont get me wrong, too big with too little prep is a nightmare but when its good, ITS GOOD)

Also one with a very pronounced head ridge? Does that make sense? For me, I can definitely feel a defined corona inside

Spanking.

Say it with me kids: arms and shoulders, arms and shoulders, put my legs on your shoulders

Also juicy tiddies. Give me a pair of hairy bara tiddies and I will want to immediately squeeeeze / sink my teeth into them. This is like half sexual, half asmr/stim(is that the right word??)? You know how people like squishing stress balls? Or slime? This is me with pecs.

Also I’m a lot rougher with pecs, like i feel like they can really take a good kneading/smushing, but boobies, soft and squishy as they are, feel more delicate? I mean I wouldn’t want anyone to touch mine the way I manhandle guy tiddies.

I like to think that I’m some strong independent woman, and I am! But I (mistakenly, I know) equate that with being a dom, and on principle, i don’t want to be a submissive, I want to be that bitch with a whip in one hand and the cock of a drooly, begging mess of a man in the other

but idk who i’m kidding because one time i SHOOK HANDS with a person who was the very definition of a big titty bara daddy IRL, and felt lightheaded for like a good 10 mins afterwards

Thick boys are just so… so solid. And I don’t mean just muscular – if they have a good amount of CHUNK to them on top of the muscle oh my god

And when the person i’m with can command my respect ahhhh it does things to me. Not the insistent, “do what i say” tantrum brand of bossy. I’m talking clear instructions. Fire behind a calm, even tone. Sure of himself. No waffling.

If he’s like this AND he thick?

Im weak yall

Ya anyway idk if that bit about chonky muscular boys qualifies as a kink but I just really needed yall to know how I feel about them.

Super bonus if they tall

Ok i know the tall thing is basic but tall + chonky = love. I just love feeling tiny ok

And yes this also goes hand in hand with liking big dicks

Big buff guys who look really MEAN are also so my type?? If you look jacked af and pissed as hell about it, I will literally do whatever you want (as long as you’re actually a good person and not an asshole)

Also romantic sex ahhhhhhhh its the best my kink is love

I’m also not mad at period sex. It’s usually a good time

Idk if its a breast kink if it’s MY breasts involved, but when a guy plays with my nipples i go from 0-100 real quick

In conclusion, a lot of this is mental, as sex usually is. Even if my experiences with my kinks have not all been positive in reality, the fantasy of it definitely does it for me.

#anonymous #asks #not bleach #the secks #Anonymous

[ahhhsami]

Honesty hour, 1-150. You are allowed to take your time but I expect all the questions answered before the last crow calls...

This is madness, lol. But I finally did it.

1.Who was the last person you held hands with?My girlfriend2. Are you outgoing or shy?Leaning more towards outgoing, but can be very quiet3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?Again my girlfriend… whenever she’s done with working out in the middle of nowhere4. Are you easy to get along with?Very5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?Yes6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Intelligent, well-spoken, funny, physically attractive7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?Yes8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?No one9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Nope10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?@xaibaugrove

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?”Wednesday works”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?Cereal by Crush, Stolen Moments by Cautious Clay, Circuital by My Morning Jacket, and idk what else :P13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Yes14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?Meh15. What good thing happened this summer?My girlfriend and I had a road trip!16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?10000 times over17. Do you think there is life on other planets?Yes18. Do you still talk to your first crush?No19. Do you like bubble baths?No20. Do you like your neighbors?Yes21. What are you bad habits?I pick at the skin around my nails when I’m idle22. Where would you like to travel?Asia the most and then Europe23. Do you have trust issues?Kinda24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Eating25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?My hands26. What do you do when you wake up?Take a shower27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?Nope28. Who are you most comfortable around?My girlfriend29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?Nah30. Do you ever want to get married?Far far in the future31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?No32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?Natalie Portman and 33. Spell your name with your chin.nde n nza34. Do you play sports? What sports?I don’t anymore, but I played soccer, basketball, lacrosse, and softball all throughout my childhood. 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?Without music36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Yes37. What do you say during awkward silences?I don’t say anything lol.38. Describe your dream girl/guy?smart, funny, attractive, and some other stuff39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?H&M, Nordstrom, Nike40. What do you want to do after high school?I finished high school :P41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?Depending on the situation, no.42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?I have nothing to say or I’m really upset/angry.43. Do you smile at strangers?Yes44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Space45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?Food46. What are you paranoid about?The future47. Have you ever been high?Yes48. Have you ever been drunk?No49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?No50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?Navy Blue51. Ever wished you were someone else?When I was younger, sure. Not now though52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?My hands53. Favourite makeup brand?no answer for this one54. Favourite store?LL Bean ;)55. Favourite blog?I don’t have one56. Favourite colour?Green57. Favourite food? Chicken?58. Last thing you ate?Sweet potato fries59. First thing you ate this morning?Eggs60. Ever won a competition? For what?Yes, sports, art, and other stuff61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?No62. Been arrested? For what?Nope63. Ever been in love? Yes64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?A middle school dance65. Are you hungry right now?Nah66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?Some67. Facebook or Twitter?Neither68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?No70. Names of your best friends? Erin, Gabby, Thuy71. Craving something? What?My girlfriend ;)72. What colour are your towels?Blue and green72. How many pillows do you sleep with?Three73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Yes74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?Way toooooo many75. Favourite animal?Okapi and clouded leopard76. What colour is your underwear?Grey77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Strawberry79. What colour shirt are you wearing?White80. What colour pants?None81. Favourite tv show?TLOK82. Favourite movie?Kill Bill Volume 183. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Mean Girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Regina George86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Dory87. First person you talked to today?My mom88. Last person you talked to today?My girlfriend89. Name a person you hate?ehhh90. Name a person you love?Erin91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Nope92. In a fight with someone?Nope93. How many sweatpants do you have?5ish or more94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?too many95. Last movie you watched?Bohemian Rhapsody96. Favourite actress?Natalie Portman97. Favourite actor?idk98. Do you tan a lot?I get pretty dark99. Have any pets?Two cats100. How are you feeling?pretty good101. Do you type fast?yes102. Do you regret anything from your past?yes103. Can you spell well?yes104. Do you miss anyone from your past?yes105. Ever been to a bonfire party?yes106. Ever broken someone’s heart?I don’t think so107. Have you ever been on a horse?yes108. What should you be doing?voting (which I will do soon)109. Is something irritating you right now?nah110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?yes111. Do you have trust issues?kinda, but it’s getting better112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?My girlfriend113. What was your childhood nickname?Yenna or Yen114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?yes115. Do you play the Wii?I did116. Are you listening to music right now?No117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?Yes118. Do you like Chinese food?Yes, both American Chinese and actual Chinese119. Favourite book?Room120. Are you afraid of the dark?No121. Are you mean?No122. Is cheating ever okay?To win Monopoly, yes123. Can you keep white shoes clean?sometimes124. Do you believe in love at first sight?no125. Do you believe in true love?yes126. Are you currently bored?no127. What makes you happy?food128. Would you change your name?no129. What your zodiac sign?scorpio130. Do you like subway?yeah131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?thank them132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?my girlfriend133. Favourite lyrics right now?ehhh idk134. Can you count to one million?yeah, but I won’t135. Dumbest lie you ever told?idk136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?doesn’t matter137. How tall are you?5′3138. Curly or Straight hair?Either139. Brunette or Blonde?Brunette140. Summer or Winter?Winter141. Night or Day?Night142. Favourite month?Doesn’t matter143. Are you a vegetarian?no144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Dark145. Tea or Coffee?Either146. Was today a good day?idk, still morning147. Mars or Snickers?Snickers148. What’s your favourite quote?“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.”149. Do you believe in ghosts?Nah150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first lineI don’t wanna

#reply #anon #so many questions

[deetvar-moved]

I’ve wanted to make this post for a long time now to explain away my thoughts surrounding why my opinions have changed over the past year in regard to certain Jugdral characters. Some of you have noticed that I have flipped or in some cases outright developed new opinions along the way. So this serves for that. Don’t expect anything remotely logical honestly, I am very pissy and mad today. 

Context: I have vaguely mentioned a few times on my blog a “Courtney.”  So a lot of these opinions are formed in spite of her, because let me frank she’s toxic as fuck. I WILL NOT disclose her identity, AND I WILL NOT start anything. I just want to explain where the basis of these have come from. With that out of the way let me start.  Names Translations - I used whatever I want and did NOT care about what anyone used but personally for a long while I got used the old translated names. Took me a while but I eventually got to use Lewyn, Tailtiu, Chulainn, Loptous, Erinys, and Diarmuid. I still refuse to say Febail, the JoBros new names, and most of the new names for the duchies/crusaders, I can’t pronounce those names for the most part.

The Question of the Remake.

- Early fandom me was very of the opinion it should never happen. I realize now that was stupid to think. It will happen. Not anytime soon at least, but it will. Echoes did a fine job. I don’t expect EVERYTHING to survive the transition, but the main crux will. Hopefully there will be pleasant surprises.

Sigurd - He did a lot of things wrong. But that’s the point. Sigurd & Julia happy family times? Yeah no, that’s not happening. I don’t mean that in canon sense, I mean THE MAN would be internally pained. 

Finn  - The Lachesis thing is questionable. It might have been something, it might not. Either way, don’t auto assume. Speaking of Lachesis Lachesis - I can now “tolerate” the Beo/Lach pairing, not because I like it. But because it makes too much damn sense. A woman who had an incestuous love to her elder brother; hooks up with a man who knew him, bears a superficial resemblance to him, and carries a sense of class in his own rugged mercenary way. It makes sense. That being said though, Finn as the magic fix to the alternate doesn’t work, at least in Gen 1. Noish could work if you want someone less sketchy than Beo and more appropriate presentation wise. Fandom alternative of Lach/Ayra doesn’t interest me. If I want Lachesis hooked up in a lesbian relationship, I would rather put her with Silvia or Erinys. The former really is the opposite of Eldigan, the ladder is in the Noish category save Erinys also loses a sibling. Personally Azel works for me, it’s cuter and they both have brother issues to work through together.

Silvia  - I am mildly annoyed by her, FEH voice doesn’t help. I don’t hate her. Just keep her, Lewyn, and Erinys nowhere in the mix together is all.

Lewyn - I don’t like him with Silvia. I especially don’t like him with Erinys. I don’t want to explain why because I already have. A lot actually. And it gets more and more annoying each time. Don’t like Gen 2 apologism either. You can interpret him as mainly human in most of Gen 2 and that would be consistent with his lines. As the anon said a while back and I do think it’s relevant to say, Lewyn is the John Lennon of Jugdral. 

Arvis - He fucked up. According to Lewyn had some good reforms, yet couldn’t control Bloom or Danan. Interpret that however you will. 

Lene - I will say this much, Courtney was rather expressive of a certain brand of HCs regarding Lene. The trauma-inducing kind. I know about the subtext at Darna. I acknowledge it. I do not like to think about it, I believe I deserve that much right? I especially don’t like Ares/Lene if the premise is Ares “fixes” Lene. I fucking hate that shit.  Ishtar - If you remember old me when I started this blog, I liked Ishtar. Yeah not anymore. Haven’t now for over a year. The Genealogy Gen 2 Banner was probably one of my LOW moments. I honestly did not enjoy this banner at all, it contained three characters I no longer had much feeling for and one of them inadvertently led to a trauma-trip if I dwelled on it too long. Don’t like Julius/Ishtar either, whatever small snippet I liked under the premise of “maybe things can be alright” was dead. Realistically, it’s pretty doomed. The only highlights for me is her relationship to Tinny, and her other cousin of Linda.  Reinhardt - Annoying fanbase who loves him because he kills most things in Heroes. That’s it. Olwen’s character development? What’s that? No seriously Olwen ends up hating her brother for life. IDK...MAYBE that might mean something. 

The Subs  - In some ways, the Subs are better characters than their original counterparts, or have more character. I do love the Gen 2 cast, and I do love the subs. But one is not inherently better than the other. TLDR, I am very angry and petty and I do not like the things. Just venting because I have no fucking sense of impulse control. I’m going to watch Netflix or something. Don’t @ me, don’t reblog this post.

#Deet'var speaks #I am very salty and petty; if not for my own principles I would have said something sooner and more obvious way longer #I'll probably be more coherent tomorrow or when fucking ever #delete later #maybe