#i made the imagen to big i apologize

[cheerlybelz]

I should be counting blessings

something is better than nothing

Isn't it, isn't it, isn't it?

#hermitcraft #pearlescentmoon #double life #life series #myart #lyric: nobody - The crane wives <- Obviously it had to be them #i made the imagen to big i apologize

[lemonandlime22]

Side character's reactions to mc trying to tackle them

not a hug tackle, but a straight up like rugby tackle, except for luke

Warnings: gn!mc, cussing, not edited, a little bit of slander looks at solomon

(Brother's)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diavolo

how.... how you do that...

how the hell did you manage to do that without lucifer or barbs stopping you?????

anyways-

he heard your footsteps before you could get him

and he, without a single doubt in his mind, thought you wanted a hug

and he was so fuckin' HAPPY!!!

he smiled so bright it nearly blinded you

then he started to run at you... arms wide open...

now, i dont know what its like for a very large (prob)6ft+ man to run full speed at you

but i doubt its a calming experience.

long story short, you are now under that very large man

face straight in the tits-

lucky

and here you are questioning all your life choices as the Devildom prince is laying on top of you with a smile brighter then the sun on his face.

btw he will now tackle you every single time he sees you unless you explain to him that it wasn't a greeting

Barbatos

Now i can only imagen this happening one of two ways

first one is that he hears you and simply just steps out of the way as you are running full speed at him

but dont worry, i doubt he would let you get to hurt

would probably soften the blow little with magic or something.

second is that he'd hear you and just extends his hand so your forehead collides with it

and once again uses magic to soften the blow

tho i think he would probably only use the second one if you were on the shorter side.

thats all i got for this beautiful man

Solomon

yes! tackle the old man to the ground!!

tho as much as i want too, and want you too

i doubt you could

he might stop you dead in your tracks with magic

or he would treat it like a hug and open his arms

even tho you both vary well know this was no hug.

and if the next time he sees you, you are alone

he is going to tackle you back

then just get up and walk away like nothing happened

dont tackle him back, it will turn into an endless cycle.

Simeon

why would you-

you end up tackling him onto his back

ow

he was vary surprised and had no idea how to react

so out of pure confusion he starts chuckling a little

"hahaha.. what are you doing??"

its vary awkward

and for some reason, he's kind of just rubbing your back

anyway

you two just lay there for a minute of pure awkwardness

until you eventually get up and help him up

i suggest apologizing or else its probably going to stay awkward for a while.

Luke (platonically ofc)

Now, let me make this clear

you are not actually tackling this boy

you are simply just running at him to do a pickup hug thing

understood? good.

now on to the reaction,

he didnt see it coming

he was on his way to his next class when you picked him up and gave him a big bear hug

he didnt even realize it was you for a second and thought he was being attacked by a demon

the poor boy 😔

but when he realized it was you he started whining saying that he's not a child

so you let him down and decide to pinch and/or squish is cheeks

which made him start whining more.

long story short, you ended up walking him to his class and decided to have a sleepover at Purgatory hall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#obey me #obey me side characters #obey me diavolo #obey me boys #obey me barbatos #obey me luke #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me headcanons #omswd #obey me hc #lol #obey me crack

[nifreti-ii]

Andrew Kreiss x Tattoo-Pierced Reader

Big scary reader treating Andrew right. I imagen the reader being about 6'3 since Andrew’s cannon height is about 6'1. (art by me)

We all can agree that around the time that Identity V takes place, being pierced and tattooed wasn’t commonplace.

So you could imagen everyone’s surprise when you waltzed in looking the way you did.

Ears decked out in silvery and gold metal, your lips, nose, and eyebrows adorned in similar colors.

What skin was visible underneath your clothing was covered in intricate sharp edges and symbols.

Symbols Andrew, without a doubt, thought were pagan.

I mean, the bible explicitly forbade it! Only a pagan, an awful person, would surely ever do that.

Right?

It was during a match that Andrew started to possibly reconsider that thought.

The Ripper had chaired everyone but you and Andrew.

The ciphers were done, the gates ready to be open.

Everything was going well. That was until the Ripper got the jump on Andrew and chaired him.

There sat Andrew, waiting to be sent back to the manor, expecting you to leave.

That was until he heard running.

To his surprise, he saw your lumbering figure rushing towards him, a look of worry plastered on your face.

You gently but swiftly untied him from the chair and immediately picked him up.

“What are you doing?! Put me down!” Andrew yelled out in shock, his pale skin making him redder than a rose.

You let out a hearty laugh, running to a gate.

When the both of you returned to the manor, you immediately took him to Emily.

You spent the whole time helping Emily asking Andrew if he was okay, apologizing if something hurt him, and saying how glad you were for being able to reach him in time.

Andrew was so shocked that all he could do was nod as you fussed over him.

Perhaps it was his poor eyesight, or maybe you were deceiving him. But you seemed genuinely worried about him.

Bloody hell! You even walked him back to his room!

Andrew felt so conflicted, so confused.

He spent his entire life being told that pagans were uncivil, savage creatures. Yet you were so gentle and kind to him.

His flustered face soon burned with rage. No, you weren’t a kind soul, you were just doing this to trick him.

It was no secret that Andrew was religious. This must be a ploy to deceive him into becoming your friend, Just to taunt him for believing anyone would befriend a monster.

In the morning, you came to his room, gently knocking, asking if he was awake.

Andrew had spent the whole night fuming, and hearing you arrive at his door made him explode.

Rushed steps could be heard as he slammed his door open and dragged you in.

“Y-you think this is funny!?” He yelled out, vessels popping through his skin.

You looked down at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Y-you’re tricking me! You’re only being k-kind to make a fool out of me!” His body shook as he stared up at your face.

You slowly approached Andrew, hurt and confusion plastered on your face. “Why would you think I would do that?”

Andrew sputtered, turning redder. “T-this ploy of being kind to me! To be kind to me just so you could remind me of the monster I am!”

You both stood there silent.

Slowly you reached out, hesitating as Andrew flinched.

Gently you grabbed his hand and looked at him sincerely. “Why would I think you’re a monster?”

Andrew stood there, his rage long since dissipating. “Just l-look at me.”

“I am, and all I see is a man who’s been lied to his entire life.”

His head flew up to look at you. Your eyes are soft, a smile covering your face.

You looked beautiful.

You sat both of yourselves down and told him how you were treated as a spectacle where ever you went. How people would whisper, saying you belonged in a freak show and off their streets.

You choose to have piercings and tattoos, so their ignorance never fazed you.

Smiling, you told Andrew there was nothing wrong with him. And if he wanted it, you could help make his everyday life a little easier.

Andrew stared in silence. The only person who ever treated him this kindly was his mother…

“Please don’t cry…” You say, gently wiping away his tears.

“How about we grab breakfast and make our way to Emma’s garden? We might be able to find something to help you go in the sun without having to wear so much clothing.”

Andrew nodded slowly, getting up with you.

A small smile graced his face as you both walked out into the hall.

Who-boy. I’m not too sure how this came out lol. I kinda like it and I think I did an okay job writing, though I am sorry if he’s a little OOC (I used the Japanese in-character Twitter replies to get a better idea of his character. Anyways any constructive criticisms are happily accepted

Check out my Masterlist for my art and writings. :3

#IdV #idv grave keeper #Idv survivor #andrew kreiss #identity v #identity v andrew kreiss #fanfic #identity v oneshot #identity v oneshots #identity v headcanons #headcanons #andrew kreiss x reader #grave keeper x reader #emma woods #emily dyer #idv gardener #gender neutral s/o #gender neutral #idv doctor #idv x reader #identity v x reader

[magnificent-winged-beast]

So... this coming from an official source, is both painful and necessary for many of us to understand, and be prepared for.

I want to be honest here. This past news about tumblr changes had been a source of stress and anxiety for me. Added to RL in general, my levels of anxiety are being challenged and sometimes I can't even master the calm to do any editing.

Now, with this brutality honest sentence I feel attacked too.

As I often say to the nicest people in this joint, that keep listen to my bitter/grimm stands about the way Destiel has been "handled" in this season so far. I HOPE I'M WRONG.

As many of the ultra positive very high hopes people could analyze about this. We can say that this is a commentary of a writer, that is mostly dedicated to write small pieces on line about gaming, and probably just realized that Dean and Cas exist. Even that a show called Supernatural is a thing that is a constant presence in this site he is reporting about.

Being objective about this plausible inference, we can say this has no implications whatsoever about the future of Destiel, and the mention of Cas and Dean was merely illustrative, by taking as a sample a very long size of the fandoms that exist in tumblr.

I want to believe the last paragraph that I wrote it's true.

But regardless of the vage credentials that this "writer" has. Is also plausible that a quick call could have been made, looking for a word or opinion from the CW or show runners, regarding this aspect of the fandom.

Just to be clear, the issue I'm exposing here, and the big problem I have about the captured scrap of the full article can be summarize in two final points:

For me, in my opinion, my personal understanding, reading:

"The CW would never allow to this to exist in canon"

Feels like a final sentence about the future of Destiel only in canon, and the proof of the constant baiting we've had been subjected for the past 10 years, the awful true about this being THE END GAME.

The qualifiers "faux-imagened relationship" and "fanimagened romance"

Are bullshit, a pure and simple opinion. We know that Destiel is what we've been living together with those two, and is not a mass induced hallucination.

I will now apologize for the sour note. But I need to be clear and honest about an issue that has been bothering me since the beginning of Season 13, when several Blogers in their personal reading of the show, had assured to a large group of the fandom that Destiel is THE END GAME, and promising that should be Canon since Season 12.

I lived those high hopes, travel over that joyous ship with so many people here, wishing for the glorious day of an actual acknowledge of our beloved ship. Presented on the screen, from an honest conversation regarding the true nature of the Profound Bond between Cas and Dean, to a kiss or holding hands, that clearly expose that this is a non-bromantic just two cool friends kind of relationship.

Finally, the actual future of our beloved ship is yet to be decided, and yet to be known.

I can only express myself explaining my personal analysis, with the purpose of being honest about our high hopes. But the final installment of THE END GAME on Supernatural, will be revealed to all of us, when the final episode will be aired, and we will be holding hands virtually as the final curtain falls in front of us.

FULL ARTICLE

#destiel #deancas analysis #or state of affairs #kill me softly with this ship #newsweek article

[inkanspider]

The situation about rev on AO3

So, I think some of you guys who follow the oumota tag have at some point heard or seen something of a person named Rev. Rev is an author and oumota fan, and one of my closest friends. A few days ago, a person on Twitter posted a really nasty tweet about them. And today, I saw a post here on Tumblr on how another person replied to Rev’s original post about this entire thing.

I’m hopefully not going to make an entire essay about this thing, but there are a lot of things these two are totally lying about. Rev was kind enough to not mention the Twitter user by name, but I can’t promise that I will be just as kind, because this person is horrible and someone I hope you never have to meet.

Just like Rev, I too joined a server about oumota a number of months ago, a while before Christmas last year. I don’t remember if I joined before Rev, but I remember I adored their writing and I loved being in this server. The people liked my stuff and soon I had people who wanted to talk to me. Around and right after Christmas, I had a group of friends I talked to almost daily. And Rev was one of them, even if our timezones made stuff difficult XD

But then one day, I started to notice that the entire atmosphere in the server changed. People started to break some of the rules daily, including two of the mods (the Twitter-user and the other peron here on Tumblr). One rule was to not post character hate, which was very logical and good. But soon enough, people started to post lots of hate posts about Kiyo, saying all kinds of horrible stuff. One of my friends is a big Kiyo-fan, and she was really bothered by this. Another thing I personally together with Rev was put down for was the heterophobia (and yes Auz, it is a really thing and you guys need to quit with your bullshit about it). It was apparently okay to personally ship F/M, but not post anything about it. But yuri and yaoi ships was 100% okay for some reason (sounds like the shit homophobes say: it’s okay to ge gay, as long as you don’t show it)... One of these things was that accoring to them, Ouma and Kaito are 100% gay. But nowhere in the game is that stated. Yes, it’s IMPLIED that Ouma might like guys, but we don’t know for sure. Which is why some people ship him with females, same with Kaito.

The last straw about this was when I was personally attacked for liking Junko. I and another friend mentioned in one convo how we liked Junko. I was personally told by THE NEW SERVER OWNER, that he was going to squeeze me to death just like he would to Junko. Auz and company said it was supposed to be a joke, but the server owner never apologized or said anything himself to clarify this. I was never close to him, so I had no idea what kind of humor he has, and he should have known it. My friend was also semi-attacked for defending me, which was what made us thinking about leaving the server entirely.

The reason these people are attacking Rev is purely because they don’t like them. Rev was different from them, liked different things than them. Rev has NEVER done anything to harm anyone, and you guys who actually read their works or even properly talked to them can see that for yourself. Yes, it’s one thing to write something and another to like it outside of the internet. But Rev is nothing but a supporting and caring person. Auz and the Twitter-user claim that Rev is both homophobic and transphobic, but that’s the total opposite of what Rev are.

And about how we were going to spam with art of “triggering” stuff (aka stuff they didn’t like, they are easily triggered), that is without any context, which is something they apparently didn’t care about when they banned us. So for the rest of you guys, I’ll tell you:

We who were banned, before it happened, had done a server just for us to vent and have fun like we couldn’t do in the oumota server. We talked about how we all wanted to leave the server, but we also joked about how we should make a raid as we leave. Keyword here is JOKED. You got words of this, but instead of talking to us you instead banned us without any warning. You had no context for this, which gave you false signals. You banned us on false grounds!

So for you guys who might be reading this, please listen to me: these people are lying about Rev. They somehow also claim that genderbends are somehow transphobic, which I have really hard imagening. Like, genderbends is just that they are opposite of their canon gender, while trans is that they don’t identify with the body they are born in. If you really are grossed about genderbends, simply ignore it. People don’t like the same thing, and you are able to just scroll past stuff you don’t like or agree with.

And listen here Auz (yes I’m calling you out now): it’s totally okay that you don’t like what we like and post. But don’t you DARE threaten Rev or any of us others. We have been nice enough to ignore you guys for the last few months. And what do you guys do? You lie and call Rev something they are not. Simply for drama, which was also supposed to not be okay in your server according to your own rules (but it looks like they never mattered anyway). You banned us yeah, but you could have at least been kind enough to let us be. Returning the favor, what’s that? And for that part about Rev being homophobic:

I DARE YOU TO DM ME AND GIVE ME PROPER EVIDENCE ON HOW REV WAS HOMOPHOBIC. But I think you won’t... Because you probably don’t even care about the truth, but only what you believe in.

And if trans hc in the nsfw-channel wasn’t okay, then you should have banned others too, but one of your mods comes especially to mind. 

You are also supposed to be an adult too, yet you never acted like one. You didn’t stop and thought of what maybe made us act the way we did. You never stopped the server owner from harrassing me and my friends. And you never stopped him from from postign that discusting thing on Twitter. If anything, you made it worse... Hope you are happy with yourself, because I will never tell people to join you guys or even visit you. I hope people come to their senses and realize you guys are toxic and not worth being with.

Sorry for the ranting guys, but I couldn’t stand people lying about this. Rev is too important to me and my friends, and we can’t have people going around and lying freely like this...

#rant #i just snapped i guess #i can't stand this situation anymore #i can't believe i used to love these people

[phantasticlizzy]

Give me something to hold onto

Summary: Dan and Phil need to learn how to be together again, but can they do it when everything feels so broken?

inspired by the song- Woke The F*ck Up by Jon Bellion

words: 8291 

read on ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11452344

Notes: this is part two of the story "bored", you should read it first if you haven't :)

read part one here

In the first two days of Phil’s absence Dan didn’t try to contact him at all. A mixture of pride and confusion ruled his mind and stopped him every time his fingers hovered over the keyboarded, trying to think of a text to send.

On the evening that Phil left, Dan went out again with his university friends with a big fuck you Phil attitude. He dragged them to a party that was way too loud and way too crowded, and spent half of his night drinking alone in a corner and being rude to his friends when they tried to talk to him.

Eventually they got sick of him being a prick and left him to be miserable by himself, to which he just grumbled something barely audible and stayed at the exact same spot.

He got shoved in a taxi a few hours later by an angry looking bouncer and spent all of the ride home ranting to the driver (who didn’t speak a word of English) about all of his life’s problems.

----------------------------

The second day he spent in his bed, leaving just to go to the bathroom. He slept through the day and lied awake in the night, thinking and re-enacting the same conversation over and over again in his head.

It’s not that he didn’t know that he was in the wrong, because he did, very much so. Every word Phil said echoed in his mind, louder and angrier than Phil probably intended it to be. Every syllable contributed to the heavy guilty mass that settled in his chest and refuse to let his heart bit in a normal pace.

But still, he couldn’t make himself pick up the phone.

It was all very frustrating for him. He could feel his most important relationship crumbling and slipping from his grasp, but his body refused to let him do anything about it.

And it was hard for him to see now, looking backwords, how they got to this point.

When did Dan stop being careful with his actions? When did he stop being afraid of losing Phil and started taking things between them for granted?

When was the point where everyone else’s thoughts and opinions started to mater more than Phil’s?

For Dan, Phil was security and comfort, and somewhere in his subconscious he probably felt he would always be there, even if Dan treated him like crap.

And Dan needed to treat someone like crap.

He felt suffocated by everything and everyone shoving his every documented move down his throat in an attempt to fulfil some weird fantasy they had with him in the main role, disregarding his privacy and personal boundaries.

And he got frustrated from feeling that none of this sudden attention had anything to do with his content or talent or efforts.

And even though it was childish on his part, he felt the constant need to separate himself from Phil, to show everyone he didn’t need some cheap gimmick to make a career for himself.

But none of this was fair to Phil.

And when Dan tried to put himself in Phil’s shoes, tried to imagen what it was like to be so isolated by the man he loved, to feel like a punching bag in the worst days, and plain invisible in the best, it made him burst into tears, shoving his face into his pillow that smelled like nothing comforting at all.

And he knew that the pressure he was feeling and the fear of being judged by something that had nothing to do with him as a creator wasn’t an excuse to act up and to throw tantrums, to shout and to yell at everyone who was still willing to listen that he and Phil were not, and never will be, in a relationship.

Except they were. And Dan messed it up, because shutting Phil out of his professional life just felt like not enough.

Suddenly everything felt like a camera and Phil felt like an enemy that needed to be beaten.

And Dan tried very hard not to think about Phil’s words that night in his bed. Because Dan never thought he would be the kind of partner that would make his lover feel used.

But the harsh words, leaving Phil’s gentle mouth, made him roll into himself a little more and sob a little louder.

Everything was so wrong between them, to the point where Dan was not sure it was worth fixing.

But still, on the third day, after waking up and feeling that the proud, stubborn part of his brain started to get smaller and smaller, and the void that formed in his chest from Phil’s absence started to get bigger and bigger, Dan finally picked up his phone and sent Phil a message.

To: Phil 12:03 pm hi

He debated with himself for a good 10 minutes, trying to decide what more to say, before giving up and throwing the phone on the mattress, getting up to take a much needed shower.

He scrubbed himself clean, feeling the need to linger longer than usual, to put a little more soap and scrub a little harder.

The truth is, he was terrified to go back to his room and look at his phone. Terrified to realise once and for all that he ruined any chance to make things better between him and Phil.

And a part of him understood that maybe that was for the better, that maybe it was time to call it a day and walk away before the situation could turn into something worst. Before this relationship would turn into something even more toxic, something they both wouldn’t be able to recover from.

He understood all of this. He did.

But still.

He couldn’t ignore the other part of him. The one that was growing with fear and anxiety. The one that was screaming in his ear to just fix it, to do anything and everything to keep Phil by his side.

He was able to stall for about half an hour, making himself something to eat after the shower and making his way slowly back to his bedroom.

When he finally had the courage to lift up his phone and look, he felt such a strong relief wash over him it even made his head feel a little dizzy.

From: Phil 12:18 hey

He wasn’t even that surprised at the feeling of tears streaming down his face. The huge rock that was sitting on his heart lifted itself for moment, letting him breath deeply and a little easier for a few minutes.

And though it was only a short response, only 3 letters, it gave him the incredible feeling of hope that maybe things could be fixed between them.

------------------------------

On the fourth day he mustered up the courage to send Phil another message.

To: Phil 2:43 pm

How are things at home?

This time he didn’t even tried to pretend not to wait anxiously for a replay, sitting with his phone in his hands and staring at it pointedly.

The notion that he was able to let Phil go felt silly to him now.

It hit him suddenly that it had been so long since he last stared at his phone like this, wishing for Phil to throw him the smallest bone.

It all felt so far from him now.

For the last few months almost every conversation with Phil made him feel irritated. All the cute little quirks that used to be charming in his eyes started to get on his nerves, making him feel impatient and frustrated.

But he knew that a big part of it was that he was still mad at Phil.

Mad that he didn’t share his point of view. Mad that he refused to help Dan defuse the situation. But most of all he was mad that his and Phil’s relationship was the soures of the problem.

And yeah, maybe it wasn’t really Phil’s fault. They were both a part of this relationship, both were a little carless at the beginning and both were paying for it now.

But Dan was nothing if not a little self-cantered, and it was a lot easier to blame Phil instead of accepting that the situation wasn’t really anyone’s fault. It was easier to have a direction to point a blaming finger at, to feel like someone screwed up and needed to face the consequences.

But Dan had forgotten that people don’t have to stay by your side if it didn’t benefit them in any way. And even though Phil was a pretty selfless guy most of the time, he wouldn’t stay in a situation that was bad for him. Not if Dan was going to keep treating him the same way, not if nothing was going to change.

From: Phil 15:07

They’re fine. Mom made the chocolate chip muffins that I like so that’s good

Dan smiled at the message, feeling his heart speeding up a bit and a smile stretching on his face.

To: Phil 15:09 Jealous

It was defiantly tense between them but it was better than nothing. They were talking, kind of, and Phil seemed willing to communicate with him, which was honestly better than Dan expected or deserved.

-----------------

On the fifth day Dan started to feel fear again. He wanted Phil to come home. He wanted to talk to him and try to make it all better. To tell him that he did want to be with him, that being with him was worth all the backlash they were facing.

And he wanted to apologize. Because now, thinking back on their conversation, Dan couldn’t remember saying he was sorry even once. Not for any of the things he did that hurt Phil.

To: Phil 5:31 pm

When are you coming home?

He sent it on an impulse. Not really thinking about the implication, not thinking if it was right to pressure Phil into coming back just yet.

Maybe he needed more time. Maybe he was still not sure what the right thing was for him.

Maybe he was not coming back at all.

From: Phil 5:35 pm

Do you want me to come home?

This time Dan didn’t hesitate before sending a quick ‘yes’.

From: Phil 5:40 pm

Then soon

----------------------------------

On the sixth day Dan didn’t contact Phil at all. Wanting to give him as much time as he needed.

This resolution lasted exactly 24 hours, and on the seventh day he felt like his body was physically aching for Phil to come home already.

To: Phil 10:30 am

Come home please

From: Phil 10:38 am

Okay

-----------------------------------

Phil came home on the evening of the same day.

Dan was in his room when he heard the door being open and shut. He got up from his bed (where he was laying the majority of the day) and made his way to the front door, feeling anxious and uneasy.

He met Phil half way there, both stopping in their tracks and staring at each other like deers caught in the headlights, lost and trying to figure out what was the next appropriate step.

Phil looked worn out, exhausted, like he didn’t have a good night sleep all week. Dan realised that he probably didn’t look much better himself.

He wanted to take Phil’s hand and drag him to the bedroom, force him into a much needed cuddle and sleep for at least three days straight. But he couldn’t do that, he wasn’t allowed to anymore. At least not for now.

Dan cleared his throat.

“Hey…” he said after the silence started to feel uncomfortable.

“Hi,” Phil answered, looking at him expectedly, like he was waiting for Dan to make some kind of a move.

And even though Dan felt his heart bit like crazy in his chest, and every bone in his body told him to get back to his room, to flee the situation, he took the few steps separating him from Phil and stood right in front of him, looking at his red rimmed, tired blue eyes.

He reached out and with little to no objection from Phil took the bag he was carrying out of his hands and put it on the floor next to their feet. He lifted up his arms, slowly, and wrapped them around Phil’s body gently, afraid of crossing a line.

It felt like forever before Phil hugged back, timid, but Dan waited patiently, not moving from his position. When he felt Phil’s fingers squeezing around the material of his shirt Dan finally let out the breath he was holding and pulled Phil a little bit closer to him, one hand moving to the back of his head, tangling his fingers in his hair and massaging the scalp in a way that always helped Phil relax.

That, apparently, was the wrong move.

Phil immediately went rigid in his arms and pulled away from him, taking a step back and making sure they had enough distance between them.

Dan tried very hard to stop his heart from breaking. He deserve that, he reminded himself. He should be glad Phil didn’t slap him on the face the minute he walked in.

“I…um… going to put my stuff in my room, and then I think we should talk.” Phil said, his voice tight, trying to hold emotion back.

Dan was petrified of this conversation. Phil didn’t give him any clue if what he had to say was good or bad. Any indication if Dan should be hopeful or not.

But still, no matter what, Dan decided he was going to say what he had to say. He wasn’t going to give up on them without a fight.

He was sick of playing this game with Phil, trying to challenge him and bit him to submission. He didn’t care anymore if he had the upper hand. He didn’t care if he came off as desperate or if his ego would take a hit in the process. He needed to fight for this, for their relationship, for the person he loved.

And for once, it had to be him that would do the fighting, because Phil was tired of this battle, that much was clear. And it was time for Dan to show him he wasn’t fighting on his own.

Dan made his way to the lounge and set on a chair. The same one he was set on a week ago when they first started this conversation. And he was determined to not let it go down the same way it did last time.

When Phil walked in and took his place on the couch in front of Dan, Dan had a hard time keeping himself feeling optimistic.

Phil looked so done with the situation. His expression was closed off and distant, his eyes tired and red, his body language tense and unapproachable.

He was so different from the Phil Dan was used to. So different from the giggly, loving and happy person Dan knew him as. And in addition to everything, Dan suddenly felt incredibly guilty for creating this gloomy, sad version of Phil. For making him look like the broken, pale shell that was sitting in front of him now.

“I just… I don’t know how to start this Dan. I don’t know what more to say.” Phil's sudden words made Dan snap from the daze he was in.

He was staring at his hands that were resting in his lap, refusing to meet Dan’s eyes.

“I spent this whole week going through everything in my head, trying to decide what the best thing we should do here is, but nothing became clearer.” He took in a big breath and exhaled slowly while Dan felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest.

“My mom said that she think we should break up. She said that it was clear to her that I’m miserable, that we both are.” He made a weird sound, something between a laugh and a sob.

Dan felt his own eyes starting to spill tears down his face with no warning, making his vision blurry.

He always loved the Lesters. They were all so similar to Phil, loving and bubbly and accepting of Dan, and it was hard not to be charmed by this peculiar group of people.

And the thought that he had disappointed them, that he had somehow made them regret accepting him so wholeheartedly into their family, made his throat close off. They trusted him with Phil’s heart, trusted him not to let him get hurt, trusted him to always make sure Phil was happy and safe.

And what did he do with this trust? He abused it, acting like he didn’t have to be accountable for anything he did, acting like he had no one to answer to at the end of the day.

He felt like he was going to be sick.

Suddenly two blue, wet, teary eyes were staring back at him from the couch, a pained expression in them.

“What do you think Dan? What do you want?”

“I…”

He was feeling lost. All of the things he wanted to say to Phil, all the decisions he made were stack in his throat and refused to come out.

But when he saw Phil’s face starting to close off again, his mouth stretch into a thin line and his eyes once again averting from Dan’s gaze, Dan knew he had to do something, say something, anything that can make the situation at least a little bit better.

“I don’t want to break up.” He managed to say, looking desperately at Phil, trying to communicate to him without speaking how serious he was.

Phil let his eyes go back to Dan’s once again, waiting for him to continue.

He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself.

“I know I didn’t exactly show it recently, but I do want to be with you Phil.”

Dan’s eyes were still leaking and his voice sounded small and unsure even in his ears.

Phil’s face scrunched up and tears started to spill in an increasing speed out of his eyes.

“Do you Dan? Because I don’t want you to stay just because it’s easier than to leave. I don’t want you to stay if you’re just afraid of taking the leap and being alone. I am not going to be your easy choice.”

And after that, Dan couldn’t take the distance between them anymore. He got up from his chair and made his way to the couch, sitting next to Phil, being careful not to sit to close and invade his personal space to much.

He reached out slowly, taking Phil’s hand in his. When he felt no objection from Phil, he squeezed the pale fingers a little tighter, trying to ease both of their pain with a simple touch.

“No… Phil… it’s not that at all. I know it was all so bad between us lately, and I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry for hurting you, for acting the way I did. Everything got mixed up in my head and I wasn’t sure on which side you were anymore. And I know it’s not an excuse, I know I was shitty and just not a good partner to you, but I really don’t want to break up. I want to work on it and make it better.”

Phil was avoiding Dan’s eyes again, looking at their joint hands, breathing shaky and uneven.

“I can’t keep going this way anymore Dan. I’m tired of it.” He said it so quietly that Dan had trouble hearing him.

“I want to be happy. I’m sick of waiting for you to get your act together. I want to feel loved. You made me feel so unloved Dan.” He whispered, his voice catching in his throat and Dan felt like someone was reaching into his gut and twisting his insides, slowly and painfully.

Phil lifted his face and looked at Dan through tear filled eyes, and Dan wasn’t even sure he could see him properly.

“I want to be happy with you, I do, but I don’t know if you can make me happy anymore. And…and I don’t know if I can make you happy either. “

“But you do make me happy,” Dan protested. “You do! It was everything else that made me miserable, everything else was shit and I took it out on you because I’m a fuck up, you know I am. But I didn’t want to fuck things between us. I want to fix it. I want to prove to you I can make you happy again. I can make all of this better.”

He was desperately clinging to Phil’s hand, trying to stay grounded, trying to articulate all this thoughts that were running through his head before it was too late.

It couldn’t be the end. Not like this. Not because Dan was a screw up that ruined everything between them.

To his surprise, Phil squeezed his hand back, clinging to him just as desperately as Dan.

“Okay,” Phil said, barely audible. And Dan felt like he was spinning, a huge relief washing over him and making him feel almost weightless. He definitely didn’t except Phil to agree this quickly. Maybe the week of separation was hard on Phil as well.

Phil didn’t say anything else. He still looked timid, but he scooted a little closer to Dan’s body until their legs were touching. Dan could see he was unsure of what to do next, as if he still didn’t know how Dan would react to him being affectionate after so much time of feeling rejected.

Dan took matters into his own hands, lifting his arms and wrapping them around Phil’s body, pulling him closer to him until Phil’s head was buried in Dan’s neck and he could feel his breath against his skin. Phil wrapped his own arms around Dan’s middle, pushing himself even more into Dan’s body.

“But I’m serious Dan, things really have to change. I won’t endure it anymore, I deserve better.” Phil murmured, and even with him being physically pressed to Dan’s side, his voice still sounded far away, cold and distant.

“You won’t have to. You do deserve better, I will treat you better. I’ll fix it.” Dan said, and in a moment of bravery he planted a kiss on the side of Phil’s head.

Dan couldn’t pretend to not to feel hurt when his action made Phil pull away from him once again.

“I’m tired,” he was avoiding Dan’s eyes once again. “I haven’t really slept that well this week. I’m going to bed.” he tried to smile at Dan’s direction, but the smile came out fake and tight. Nothing like Phil’s usual sunshine like smiles.

Dan didn’t really have a chance to say anything before Phil got up and quickly made his way to his bedroom.

Dan couldn’t suppress the sight that left his lips. Even though they technically decided to stay together, everything felt so tense between them, so broken.

But Dan was determent to fix it.

---------------------

Dan rolled around in his bed for a few hours, trying to sleep before giving up. The knowledge that Phil was under the same roof as him, but in a different bed, was driving him crazy.

He couldn’t see now why he ever chose not to sleep in the same bed as Phil when he had the privilege to.

In a momentary decision he got out of bed and walked out of his room.

Phil’s bedroom door was closed. Another change. In the last few months Phil made sure to always leave his door open, probably to make sure Dan knew he was welcome inside.

Now he felt like the shut door was mocking him, rubbing in his face all of the things he had done wrong.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door gently, not wanting to wake Phil up on the off chance he was really asleep.

When a quiet “yes” was heard from the other side, Dan didn’t waste time opening the door and making his way inside, shutting the door behind him.

He couldn’t see very well in the dark room, but he was almost certain Phil was staring at him from his bed.

“Can I maybe sleep here tonight?” Dan asked. He didn’t even care how desperate he sounded at that moment, he kind of wanted Phil to know he was desperate for his forgiveness.

Phil was quiet for a moment and then Dan could hear a movement from the bed.

“Yeah, it okay.” He said eventually.

Dan made his way to the bed, careful not to bump into anything on his way. When he finally made it and lied down, he could feel that Phil’s body was as far away from him as possible, curled up on the far side of the bed.

Dan didn’t want to test his luck, not after being rejected twice already today.

“Goodnight,” he whispered after he made himself comfortable under the duvet, his back turned to Phil.

“Goodnight Dan,” he heard a faint response from Phil.

They both laid awake a while after that. Neither of their breaths going even with sleep.

Dan counted him being in the same bed as Phil as a win. It was still far from being good between them again, but it was a start, and Dan was planning to cherish every win he could get.

“By the way,” Phil said, breaking the silence. “I’m always on your side.”

He said it quietly, almost to himself.

“What?” Dan asked, rolling around so he could face Phil.

Phil was still facing the other way, curled up on himself.

“You said earlier that you didn’t know on which side I was. I’m on yours, always. Even if I disagree with you, even when you hurt me.”

Dan felt his chest swell up two times its natural size.

He scooted closer to Phil, testing the waters, and put his arms around Phil’s body from behind, squeezing him to his chest.

Phil didn’t turn around, didn’t wiggle his body to be closer to Dan’s like he used to do in the past. Didn’t show any indication that he wanted Dan to hold him.

But he didn’t push him away either, didn’t go rigid under his touch.

And that’s was another win in Dan’s eyes.

“I love you,” Dan said. He wanted Phil to know that he was loved. So very loved. Even when Dan had a funny way of showing it.

The words felt almost foreign on his tongue from the lack of use, but Dan liked the taste of them in his mouth. He was willing to say them again and again.

And even though Phil didn’t answer, it still felt like progress.

-----------------

Things kept progressing between them in a slow pace, but in every day was another win, and that was enough to make Dan keep going.

They were still walking on eggshells around each other, afraid to make the wrong move and send the house of cards they build their reconciliation on tumbling down.

It was hard on Dan, probably hard on both of them, to feel so distant, to feel like his partner was so out of reach.

But still. There were wins every day, small ones, but it had to be enough for now.

--------------------

The night they kissed for the first time after the fight was a good night.

They spent the evening watching a crappy cooking show on the TV and laughing at the expense of the overly stressed, overly dramatic contestants.

Things felt so close to being normal, so similar to the way they used to be before all of this started, and Dan was the most hopeful he had been in a long time. Things felt like they were looking up.

That night in bed they laid face to face, talking and smiling and Phil’s smile felt a lot less forced than usual.

And when Dan reached out to trace Phil’s face with his fingers, moving them against his eyebrows gently, and then his cheeks and finally stopping at his lips, Phil didn’t push him away. On the contrary, he closed his eyes on an instinct, lips parting a little and face relaxing into Dan’s touch.

It had been so long since Dan had Phil like this. So relaxed and calm in his presence, under his touch.

“Can I kiss you?” Dan asked, because even though it was a good day, he didn’t want to step out of line, to read the situation wrong and ruin their progress.

Phil opened his eyes and looked at him for a moment before nodding and closing them again.

Dan leaned forward, fingers moving back to Phil’s cheek before he touched his lips to Phil’s gently.

It was a sweet kiss. Dan had to fight the desire to kiss for longer, to bite and to push and to slip his tongue into Phi’s mouth and taste the flavor he had missed so much.

But he stopped himself. Because now was not the time and trust needed to be built slowly, and rebuilt even slower.

He pulled back from Phil, feeling a mixture of content and desire for more.

Phil was looking at him with happy eyes, and honestly, that was better than anything Dan could have asked for. Because nothing was better than Phil’s eyes looking bright and happy for a change.

“You’re so pretty,” he said casually, fingers still tracing Phil’s features.

Phil’s face had a weird expression on it for a second before he pushed himself into Dan’s neck for hiding.

Dan moved his hand to Phil’s hair and scratched absentmindedly at his scalp, letting him hide his face from him.

“What is it?” he asked gently, a little amused by how adorable his boyfriend was being. It had been a long time since they’d been shy and blushy around each other.

“I’m just not used to hearing compliments from you anymore.” Phil murmured into Dan’s neck.

Dan felt his spirit momentarily fall, but picked himself right up, not letting his self deprecating thoughts ruin the moment. He could not change the past, but he could make the future better.

He pulled Phil a little closer to himself, kissing the top of his head.

“Well, get used to it.” He said, feeling determination to shower Phil with compliments and affectionate words from now on.

“Dan?” Phil said quietly, his voice muffled by Dan’s skin.

“Yeah?”

“You’re pretty too.”

Dan just laughed and pulled him even closer.

-----------------------

Sometimes, when they were in the moment, it was hard to even remember that something was wrong.

Since that night, kisses and touches became a lot more frequent between them. Dan started to feel Phil relax more and more, letting his guards down bit by bit and letting Dan in more easily.

And it was easy to ignore it all sometimes, letting themselves feel whole and content.

One night, when they were lying in bed, lazily making out, Dan had forgotten completely to be careful.

He could feel the heat starting to burn in his belly, making him pull Phil closer to him, starting to kiss harder and more possessive.

It had been so long since they’d done anything sexual, and Dan missed it. God he missed it.

The feeling of Phil’s naked body against his, the noises he would make, the look of hunger in his eyes. The feeling of intimacy and bliss from climaxing from the hands of the one you love.

All those thoughts clouded his brain, and he didn’t even notice the hesitant way Phil was kissing him back.

And when he reached his hand downwards from Phil’s lower back to his ass and squeezed, he absolutely mistook the noise of surprise and faint protest for the one of pleasure.

But when he pushed himself against Phil, grinding their clothed crotches together, one hand still holding Phil by the ass and keeping him in place, he couldn’t misunderstood Phil’s intentions when he abruptly pulled away from the kiss.

“Dan, stop,” Phil said, his voice breathless.

Dan let out an involuntary whine, hips twitching with the desire to get more friction.

“Baby please,” Dan said, barely audible, his lips moving to Phil’s neck.

“Dan, I asked you to stop,” Phil said again, a lot firmer than the first time, his hands moving to Dan’s chest and pushing him away.

And just like that, Dan could see sense again.

He had a second of feeling horrified. Not because he wanted to have sex and Phil didn’t. No. they were together long enough, it wasn’t a rare occasion for one of them to be in the mood while the other one wasn’t.

But now, when things were so fragile between them, Dan couldn’t allow himself to be reckless.

Sexual intimacy was a big taboo between them right now, after everything that happened.

Dan still had thoughts popping in his mind from time to time about what Phil had said that night in his room, and the day after when everything got blown up in their faces.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Phil feeling sexually used in this relationship. Feeling like Dan saw him as a sex relief and not as a partner.

“Phil… I’m sorry,” he said sheepishly. “I got carried away in the moment.”

Phil was also looking quite sheepish, avoiding Dan’s eyes.

“It’s okay,” he said.

“No, it’s not, I should have asked you before-“

“Dan, it’s okay, really,” Phil interrupted him.

“Maybe you should go and…sort yourself out,” he added awkwardly.

Dan nodded and got out of bed, going to the bathroom and locking himself inside.

He didn’t really need to sort himself out anymore, the situation and the terror he felt took care of it already. But he could hear the undertone of Phil’s words. He wanted to be alone, even for a few minutes. Away from Dan.

When Dan got back to the bedroom about ten minutes later, Phil was lying with his back turned to Dan, pretending to be asleep.

Dan didn’t try to talk to him, curling up on his own side of the bed, feeling defeated.

----------------------

To say that Dan had a bad night of sleep would be an understatement.

He tossed and turned the whole night, thinking and overthinking everything and anything.

By morning he was more than ready to have a much needed conversation with Phil.

Even though thing were slowly looking up for them, Dan couldn’t help but feel that he wasn’t doing enough to fix things, to show Phil how important he was to him.

And when Phil made his way to the kitchen in the morning, meeting a fully awake, determent Dan already standing there with a cup of coffee, Dan was ready with a plan that will make everything better.

“I think we should come out to our audience,” Dan said, not even bothering with a polite ‘good morning’.

Phil looked at him with a shocked expression on his face, and Dan couldn’t blame him.

After all, he was the one to push the notion of them as platonic friends so hard, wanting to make sure no one would ever mistake them for anything but.

“What makes you say that?” Phil asked cautiously, looking at him with suspicious eyes.

“Well, I was thinking of ways to get you to see how serious I am about us. Thinking of how I can show you you can trust me again, and that felt like the perfect way.”

And he was so sure Phil was going to be happy, that this was what he wanted, that he couldn’t even mask the surprise on his face when Phil’s expression suddenly became angry.

“Is this about last night? Because I wouldn’t sleep with you? Is this some means to an end for you?”

He looked so disgusted with this idea and Dan couldn’t understand how they could be on such different wavelength while talking about the same thing.

“No!” he protested. “It’s not that at all! I don’t care about the sex! I mean, I do, but I’m fine with waiting, as long as you need! If you don’t want to have sex again ever that’s fine too! I just thought that’s what you wanted, I just wanted to make you happy, to make things good between us again.”

Phil physically deflated when Dan finished talking, looking at him with wide eyes.

He stared at him for a moment, not saying anything, before making his way to Dan, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

Dan could not be more confused.

“I don’t want to tell the internet about us. At least not yet. I never did.” Phil said.

“I didn’t like the way you handled all of it, but I didn’t want to tell them either.” Phil’s face was so close to Dan’s now that he could feel the breath coming out of Phil’s mouth as he spoke. He didn’t look angry at all anymore. If Dan had to put a name to it he would have to say that Phil even looked a little bit fond.

“And it wouldn’t solve anything Dan. Putting this kind of pressure on our relationship right now can only harm it honestly.” He added.

Dan let his forehead fall onto Phil’s shoulder, lifting his arms and wrapping them around Phil as well.

“Then tell me what to do to make it better, to make you feel comfortable again.” He said quietly, feeling defeated.

Phil moved his hands in a slow, circular motion on Dan’s back, trying to soothe him.

“There’s nothing more you can do. I just need time. We need time to build what we’ve broken. But we’ll get there, we’ll be okay, I know it now.”

“I love you,” Dan said, his voice thick from the emotions and his sleepless night.

“Yeah, me too,” Phil replied.

He couldn’t say the words yet, but that was okay, they had time.

They were going to be okay.

----------------------

But sometimes, it felt like they weren’t going to be okay. Not at all.

Because old habits die hard, and Dan found it impossible to keep walking on eggshells when he was angry and looking for someone to get his anger out on.

And it was just one of those days.

The water in the shower was cold because Phil had forgotten to turn on the boiler when Dan had asked him to, and there was no cereal left for him again and no other valid breakfast choices, and his last video had more comments about ‘phan’ then the actual content he uploaded.

By the evening all of his nerves were on edge and he just couldn’t handle being cooped up in their flat anymore. Couldn’t handle being in Phil’s presence for another moment.

“Where are you going?” Phil asked when he saw Dan putting on his shoes.

“Out,” he answered shortly, not even bothering to look at Phil’s face.

“Out where?” Phil insisted. “Well, that’s none of your business is it?” he snapped.

Even through his anger Dan could tell he was going to regret that one later, but he didn’t dwell on it, walking out of the apartment and leaving a disappointed looking Phil behind.

-------------------------------

He went for a walk in their neighborhood, not trying to get to anywhere in particular, just trying to burn the negative energy out of his system.

By the time he got back home he was a lot less pissed off and a lot more afraid to face Phil.

He had been so carful since they made up, trying so hard to build the trust between them again, to make Phil feel safe and loved and appreciated in this relationship.

And he hated to think that he’d thrown it all away because of a bad mood.

Phil was set in the lounge when Dan walked in, working on his laptop and ignoring Dan’s presence.

“Hey,” Dan tried to say, but Phil refused to look at him or acknowledge him in any way.

Dan let out a sigh and went to sit down on the sofa next to Phil, careful not to sit to closely and anger him even more.

“Phil… I’m sorry, it was just a crappy day. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” Dan said, but still got no response.

He started to get a little irritated by Phil’s way of approaching the situation.

Yes, he snapped, he was rude and out of line, but he was also apologizing. Couldn’t Phil see how much he was trying?

“Can you please look at me? I said I’m sorry,” he tried again, keeping his voice calm.

At that Phil’s look snapped from the laptop to his direction, his eyes narrowed and hurt.

“So I should just say it’s okay because you apologized? Just let it go like I did all this time? That’s not going to work for me anymore, I told you I’m not going to tolerate this bullshit anymore.”

And something in Phil’s voice, the demanding, angry tone he was using, made Dan feel his anger rise again in his stomach.

“Don’t you think you’re being unfair?” he asked, tying to compose his voice and talk calmly. And failing.

“Oh I’m being unfair? To you? That’s rich,” he was completely facing Dan now, laptop closed and thrown to the side.

“Yes, you are! I’ve been trying so hard to do everything right, to fix things and to please you, can’t you give me some slack?”

“So I should just accept every bad thing you do because you’re trying? That’s not how it works.”

“That’s not what I said!” Dan was seriously straggling to keep his voice from rising.

“I was in a bad mood, it was a shit day. And I shouldn’t have snapped at you, but also, as my partner, I would expect you to understand that it had nothing to do with you, that sometimes that happens, and let it go.”

Phil looked a little more deflated, but kept going either way.

“And you know that a year back that’s exactly what I would have done, but now it’s not that simple for me.”

Dan was getting tired of this pointless argument.

“You can’t keep punishing me Phil. I know it’s hard for you, I get that. I know we still got a long way to go, and I respect that. But you chose to be with me, you chose to forgive me, and we can’t keep being careful with every step we take.”

Phil was looking at his lap while Dan was talking, cheeks pink and angry, but Dan could see he was listening.

“we live together, we are a couple, and sometimes we are going to fight, or one of us will take his anger out on the other because that’s a thing that happens when you spend all of your time with someone. But you can’t keep dangling the past above my head all the time, we need to move forward. You need to decide if you forgive me or… or not.”

He felt exhausted when he finished talking, like saying those few sentences drain all of his energy.

Phil was still looking at his lap, refusing to meet Dan’s eyes. Dan sighed in defeat, he said everything he had to say. He got up from the couch, not saying a word, and made his way to his room, closing the door after him.

-------------------------

A few hours later Dan was already regretting everything he said.

It’s not that he didn’t think he was right, but he also understood that things were not as simple as that.

But most of all, when he went through his own words in his head again, they felt a lot like an ultimatum. And Dan was terrified to put Phil in the position to choose, because he wasn’t sure at all that Phil would him.

He was just about ready to go to Phil’s room and apologize when a knock was heard from his door.

“Yes?” he said carefully, feeling scared and hopeful all at once.

The door opened to revile a bashful looking Phil. He was looking at his feet, playing with his fingers.

Before Dan had the chance to say anything, Phil was marching towards the bed where Dan was sitting, leaning against the headboard. He made his way there quickly, and suddenly he was on the bed, straddling Dan’s lap and burying his face in Dan’s neck.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s body on an instinct, feeling confused but extremely happy by the turn of events.

“I’m sorry,” Phil whispered into the skin of Dan’s neck, leaving a small kiss there and sending shivers down Dan’s spine.

“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have said what I’ve said. It was out of place.” Dan said, moving his hands up and down Phil’s back, soothing him.

Phil shook his head.

“No, you were right. I have been punishing you, even if I didn’t really realized it until you said it. You shouldn’t be afraid of my every reaction, I want us both to feel better in this relationship. If we are going to move forwards, we should do it as equals. You shouldn’t keep feeling that you’re fighting for me to stay.”

Phil was clinging to him now, hands fisting the front of Dan’s shirt, nose nuzzling Dan’s neck and shoulder.

“It’s just that… when you said it wasn’t my business to know where you were going, it felt so similar to all those other times, when you would shut me out and snap at me and go out for hours with god knows who to god knows where, coming home acting like it was a completely acceptable behavior. “

Dan was starting to feel his chest heavy again, and he pulled Phil a little closer to himself, one hand moving to the back of his head.

“I’m sorry-“

“No.” Phil interrupted him, pulling from Dan’s hold so he could sit upright and look at him.

“I didn’t say that so you would feel even guiltier. What I meant to say was, that I know it’s not what’s happening here right now, I know we’re in a different place. And the fact that I’m having trouble letting the past go…well, that’s on me, that’s something I need to work on. You were right when you said I chose to forgive you, I can’t keep holding the past above your head.”

Phil moved one of his hands from Dan’s shirt to his cheek, pushing his thumb against the place Dan’s dimple should be, making him smile and causing the dimple to make an appearance.

“So basically what I’m saying is, that this relationship is a two way street, and we both have things he need to work on, but that’s okay because we have each other to make it worth the effort.”

And then Phil was kissing him, hard and passionate, like he wanted to prove to him how serious he was about what he said, how serious he was about making their relationship work by working together.

And it was so different from the sweet kisses they’d shared in the last few weeks.

Phil’s hands moved to the back of Dan’s neck, pulling him closer, biting his bottom lip.

Dan let out a surprise groan, his tongue licking its way into Phil’s inviting mouth, his hand moving automatically to Phil’s bum and squeezing it.

Phil’s hips twitched at the contact for a second and then Phil was pushing himself against Dan, making them both gasp.

“Wait, wait,” Dan said, using all his self-control to pull away from Phil’s mouth.

Phil immediately stopped, moving a little backwards on Dan’s lap to create distance between their crotches.

“We should stop, if we keep going like this it will be a lot harder for me to stop later, literally.” Dan said, his hand moving up from Phil’s ass to his lower back where his t-shirt rode up.

“Do you want us to stop?” Phil asked, looking at him with dilated pupils and Dan wanted to take his words back that instant and kiss Phil’s ridiculously pink lips senseless.

“No, obviously, but I don’t want to rush you,” he answered.

Phil kissed him again, slow and deep.

“Then we shouldn’t stop,” Phil said, moving his mouth to Dan’s neck and sending shivers down Dan’s spine.

“If you’re sure,” Dan said, moving his hand to Phil’s hair when Phil sucked on a particularly sensitive spot on his neck.

“I’m sure,” he answered.

“I don’t want you to feel pressure because you think I’m mad at you from earlier or that I’m tired of waiting, because that’s not the case-“

“Dan.”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up please.”

--------------------------

They were gentle with each other. Touching and kissing and complementing more than they used to.

The sensations and pleasure were heightened from the emotion every movement held, from knowing that they worked hard to get to where they were now, from knowing how close they were to losing each other.

And when they laid together after, still giddy and kissing and holding each other as close as they could, things felt…good.

They still had things to work on. Dan still had things to prove and Phil still had a lot of forgiving to do.

But when Phil nuzzled himself against Dan’s cheek, whispering “I love you,” not like it’s a secret but like it’s theirs, Dan knew, without a doubt, they will make it through.

this is based on a prompt, so thanks anon! <3

this one took a lot out of me! I didn't expect it to be this long omg

I really hope you liked it! it was very important for me to give this guys a happy ending :)

as always, leave a comment with your thoughts please, and you are more than welcome to send me prompts if you want :)

#phan #phanfiction #2012 phan #happy ending #phantasticlizzyfics

[revisedgravityfallsau-blog]

Revised Gravity Falls AU Epliogue

-Epilogue- Dipper stared down at Wendy with a prideful grin as the two twin babies slept peacefully on top of their mother, Wendy.  The had just been born very early that morning and everyone the knew whether it was family or friends had gathered to the hospital in Gravity Falls, Organ to see the three new babies. Because yes someone else in the Pines family had also given birth to a baby that day as well. “There all so cute!” Mable’s cheerful, drowsy voice broke the silence of the hospital room. She was laying in a hospital bed much like Wendy’s with her own baby boy which was in her arms swaddled up in a small blue knitted blanket that she had made herself with a huge shooting star in the middle of it. Her baby had been born just at the same time as Wendy’s baby girl had been born that early morning at 3:05 AM it had been a funny and awesome coincidence. Her baby was now laying peacefully in her arms while the prideful father, Gideon Gleeful stood beside Mable’s bedside as he gazed down affectionately at the baby boy and his beautiful wife.   “Shhhh.” Ford quickly shushed Mable before she woke the babies. But   Ford was just being over protective of the babies because Mable probably wouldn’t have woken them since her voice was quite quiet from the drugs the nurses had given her and she herself had been careful not to bring her voice to loud to wake them from their slumber. “Sorry,” Mable apologized with her just as drowsy and cheerfully as before but made it into a much more quiet whisper. Even though she had been quiet before and had no need to apologize or make her voice any quieter she just felt it was best to do so for Ford's sake.

Dipper glanced around the room at his friends and family still with just as much pride on his face. Gideon did the same but did it in a faster manner before looking back down at his wife and child.

“Look at his little hands.” Mable squealed silently before yawning as she pointed over to Wendy’s little baby boy’s hands which before had been tucked into a little yellow blanket until just now when the little baby boy squirmed in his slumber as if he was trying to find a comfier position. Both hands had six fingers on them. “Just like you Grunkle Ford,” Mable added. Ford grinned down at the little baby boy then he glanced over at Dipper and the both shared a meaningful glance with huge wide grins on both of their faces. “His name is Stanford Stanley Asterisms Pines,” Wendy said with a drowsy voice as she announced the baby who looked just like his father, but had dark reddish hair almost like his mother’s and on the top of his forehead, he had the Big Dipper just like his father. But one of the strangest things about him probably related to the strangeness of Gravity Falls, Organ was that on his back, he had the Asterisms constellations which were the Northern Cross, Summer Triangle, Winter Hexagon, Kemble's Cascade, Great Diamond, Brocchi's Cluster, Orion's Belt, and the Orion's Sword.  Wendy smiled up at Ford who she viewed as her Grunkle as well. She was happy that he had been named after his Great Grunkle Ford. “Perfect name for him,” Ford announced with a sad wide grin then he added with a slight mournful voice, “Stanley would have loved that name.” He chuckled sadly and his eyes drifted off as if he was having a memory of his younger brother. Dipper looked sadly at his Grunkle Ford it had only been one year since Grunkle Stan had passed away quietly in the night. There was a long moment of silence around the room some of the people in the room sniffed as a tear or two poured down their face as some of them in the room cried a bit at the sad reminder of Grunkle Stan who had been well known and loved by all of them. Mable brushed away a tear which had found it way down her face just like many others in the room as she decided it was best to change the subject from something less sad. So she asked, “And what's this little girl's named?” As she gesturing with her left hand to the older twin girl baby sleeping beside her ten-minute younger brother. “The oldest of the bunch Mable Ursa Pines,” Dipper announced, their note of pride in his voice as he said her name, also a note of sadness over being reminded of Stan and most of all their was joy in his voice as he remembered why and who he had named the baby after as he glanced over at his sister with brotherly affection. Mable also just like her brother and father had a almost identical birthmark like her brother’s but her’s was the Ursa Minor. Little Dipper. The baby girl took on the almost same looks of Wendy but betrayed her in most of her looks with her dark brown hair much like her fathers or her Aunt Mable's and her face features which also looked like her Aunt Mable's. “Aw, really,” Mable said in awe and looked as if she was about to cry maybe that was because she already just had over Grunkle Stan or because she was touched over the baby being named after her or most likely both. “Really sis,” Dipper confirmed still gazing at his sister affectionately.   “Now what's his name?” Dipper asked cheerfully as he nodded towards the baby boy laying in Mable’s arms. “Little Gideon Dipper Gleeful,” Mable said this time it was her turn to show off her baby boy to the room of friends and family with just as much as pride as Wendy and Dipper had. She had named him after her husband and twin brother. Little Gideon looked just like father Gideon besides he had little less hair and was more on skinner but had Mable’s features to him as well. Gideon nodded his head which was held high with pride as he agreed to what Mable said about their baby boy. Just then Little Stanford in Wendy's arms started to squirm around his face scrunched up as he started to make a low whimpering noise of one who was just waiting to burst open with tears that wanted to come out with little baby sorrow or anger over something and his little six-figure right hand flung out smacked his sister on her face as he waved his arms almost wildly around as if it was a struggle for him to cry out his sorrow or anger and then if you had even thought for a moment he was having trouble with going to cry he cried. “Waaaa.” His pitiful baby cat-like cry wailed with sorrow or anger filled up into the air of hospital room. Great Uncle Ford reached out his arms and very carefully picked up Little Stanford and rocked his gently in his arms as the baby cried aloud to the world to tell it that it was clearly unhappy about something but didn't know how to tell the rest. But as Ford rocked Little Stanford slowly back and forth in a smooth motion he simmered down until he stopped crying and opened both his big bright brown eyes like his father or his two Great Grunkles and with a steady gaze (that babies give) looked up at his Great Grunkle Ford who was smiling down at him kindly as he rocked him back in forth in his arms. “It’s ok there Little Stanford,” Ford whispered soothingly as he continued to rock him back and forth. Little Mable who was also now awake from her brother smacking her in the face between the eyes was watching her brother with her content green eyes as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. “Aw,” Mable said with a slight chuckle as Little Mable watched her brother and cooed gently. As if on cue with all the babies waking up in the room Little Gideon woke up and slowly peered open his eyes, then yawned before opening them widely as if startled by all the newcomers looked around the room his sleepy blue eyes trying to figure out who all these people in the room were and where had the come from. “Well ain’t the cutest bunch of youngsters!” Fiddleford Mcgucket loud voice rang through the quiet and peaceful room of the hospital which had gone silent for a while before he called out with his loud voice from the back of the room which startled everyone who had not expected him to be there or even expected to hear his voice. Dipper gave a small laugh at everyone's startlement which then slowly ended as an awkward laugh when no one else was laughing. Dipper sighed aloud to cover up his awkward laugh but mainly because of happiness because everything was happy and everything seemed perfect in that moment. Everything was perfect.

I found this awesome pic by Elentori this morning with red hair and six fingers and I was like “OMGRAVITY! THIS IS HOW I IMAGEN LITTLE FORD WHEN HE IS OLDER!” (Will minus the tattoos)

You know I will probably change stuff so if all of the sudden someone's name changes, or eye color, or birthmark gets changed or disappears or appears don’t get to confuse. XD

Fun fact. today I learned twins can have identical birthmarks. *Mindblown* 

Constellation Twins. That’s what I think I am going to call Mable and Ford.

#RevisedGravityFallsAU #gravity falls

[nepalprojects-blog]

Outreach in remote Nepal

I got up at 6.45 today a bit worried that the power bank I borrowed wasn’t fully charged. It ended up full ten min after breakfast. I left to go to the prayer house, to join in with daily devotions on song of songs. At the end of it kwe prayed for each others days needs and then I filled up a water bottle and left. I just got to the corner of the road and there I met Amos and his wife Ruth. Ruth did not waste any time but prayed for me straight away, telling her husband to join in too. To get some appropriate change for the bus to Charabhill I bought some bananas for 40 rupees. Today starts a 24 hour bus ride to sankhuwasabha. I caught the bus to meet Santana at 11am outside medicare hospital. At nearly 2pm we actually get on the bus. I guess that’s how it works here… Wednesday

We had some stunning views from the bus yesterday, but this morning at 6.45 it is still foggy, and not much can be seen. We have been driving all through the night, and I am very impressed with the driver. The road is getting narrower but he navigate the road fast and safe. Which I am glad about, because some of the drops of the road are seriously steep and deep. Strangely, despite the fact that this area is already quite remote, things are a bit more sophisticated and cleaner here somehow.  13.32 and there bus ride has finally finished. We have checked in to a hotel where there is building work going on and Sanata has been apologizing, but to be honest I don’t mind. I just thought we might get the room a bit cheaper. I did expect to be on the bus till evening, so we’re all good. After a quick wash and something to eat we pay a local pastor of Khandbari, the capital of the district Sankhuwasabha, a visit. Just as we finished praying at the local pastors house a thunder and lightning storm started with heavy rain, so we were stuck there, so we just chill out, 5or six of is in a small bedroom that is nothing more than a sturdy timber game classed with tin. His whole house was just a small timber frame cladded with tin really. We waited until the worst of the rain was over and walked back to the hotel. When we got back to the hotel there was no electrical power. The military had dropped a big tree they were moving on the power-line. The next day I woke up early, this morning not because of barking dogs but because of men working on the hotel. It is a building site… Another local pastors has arrived at the hotel to get some instruction on how to use the projector to show the Jesus film. Without power that causes a bit of a delay. Something which is  just part of daily live here. Nobody is particularly worried. However, the memory card with the film that is supposed to be in the projector is missing, the pastor that Sanata is training thinks he has the film on his phone but this turns out not to be right either, so sanata has to go out and buy a memory card and call the son of the man we visited last night,  he turns up with a PC under his arm, and uses the projects instead of a monitor. At about 10.30 we finally finished breakfast and leave to set out on or journey, which starts with a half hour ride by tuk-tuk to the bus station, where we pay for a 4x4, taking us high up in the hills to our next stop, we ascent by foot deep down the valley, right down across a big river which is starting to swell, On the other side we have to go back up to the top of the next hill. Sanata tells me, a dam in China has broken through, which is why all the workers just came away from the bridge running up the step path.  Sita isn’t  very well with the walk, so the going is slow and we arrive at the church where we are meant to be, about 2 hours late, and by this time it is very dark. After short introductions, I then  end up teaching the pastors of this little church how to set up the projector to show the Jesus film, which has been translated in Nepalese. This is actually a very effective way of sharing the gospel. In the morning that follows, Sanata teaches that church is not a building but people. Where two or more are gathered in my name, there I will be also, Jesus taught. His second subject, was that every believer s should share the gospel with his friends and neighbours. I did not know he wanted to speak about this but the day before he did ask me to share something, and as I considered what to speak about, the Holy spirit put the same subject on my heart , so I shared some of my testimony and shared on the subject. We had some Dahl bat with meat and then we stated or journey for the day, at about 10 am. What should have been a walk of about 5 hours took us most of the day, because Sita can’t keep up, besides on the way we stop by an underground spring where people are washing to share the gospel with somebody, and also to pray for several people and give out medication. I gave Sanata £45 to buy it before we left Katmandu. By the wayning of day which is at about 6 we cross the 4th and last bridge and this one is made of slender trees. The steel bridge that was here before has been destroyed by a swell of the river. I insisted to have a wash in the stream before I carried on the last half an hour of the walk, because I haven’t had a wash for two days and with such hard walking I really need one by now. By the time I finished it is pitch dark and I have to catch up with Sita and Sanata up a very steep climb. I just about manage to find the track by the light of my head torch, but it is well worth the effort for having a wash in a stream. Finally we arrive at Sanata’s parents house,we introduce ourselves have some food, consisting of millet cakes, some sort of root which Sanata’s brother has dug deep out of the ground specially for us, and salty tea. Salty tea is weird yes, but trust me, salty tea is really nice after this long climb. At about 10 we go sound asleep on the hard floor of the little house, well not directly on the floor I have a straw mat and the high honor of a nice rug. The following morning we wake up at about 5.30 the chock has been crowing for a while, and have some more of the strange tea, at about 9am church starts which we reach by walking up another small mountain track. I keep wondering who could possibly have had the strength and time to make these tracks. Most of then are like proper stairs obviously weathered over time, made up of bigger and smaller pieces of rock, but some of the rocks are pretty big. One huge rock actually had steps carved into it. Most of the church service I cannot understand at all again, and Sanata asks me to speak again. This time I explain that God had asked me to return to Nepal because his heart is breaking for the people of Nepal and respond to the situation I experience at hand, and teach that we cannot please God with long prayers and trying to be good Christians or keeping the ten commandments, but that Jesus died for us when we were still enemy’s of God. And that God longs to spend time with us personally and that faith is what pleases him. Sanata follows up by explaining a bit more in detail. The church service is followed by praying for people, handing out some specs and medication to various people, including none believers. Sita has gone back down to Sanata’s mothers house, but me and Sanata have lunch at his sister’s, where I am given a woolen rug that is used for guests to sit on. I am told that if somebody is offered to sit on one of these it is considered a high honour. Back at Sanata’s parents house we have Nettle soup, rice and something else strange to eat. Sunday 23 April Man, live starts early in these parts. Sanata’s mum starts the fire not long after the cock crows. I must say that the cat tried to get me to get up not long before, miauwing and pawing my feet, though for the rest of our stay it completely ignores me, probably as I told it I wasn’t getting up yet, we still lie snoozing for a little while. We have some breakfast of popcorn and black soy beans and some other stuff, I can’t keep asking what I’m eating, and it might be better not to know everything.  After about 9am me and Sanata go and share the gospel with some people in the small village adjacent to the one where Sanata himself is from. We end up praying for the mother of a young woman, whom, the night before I asked the challenging question of why she was going to see the witch doctor with a large cock as payment… She already knows that Jesus heals! Now her mother is still badly I’ll with a fever. Before we prayed for her, her temperature was seriously high. I pray for her and for just a second feel the Holy Spirit move. About 5 min after praying for her, Sanata asks me if she has a fever, so I check her temperature again and this time she feels normal. My sceptic mind wonders if i am just imagening things… Sanata shares out some of the spectacles he had been given by a friend, we drink some “mountain dew” which politely I drink. We are given this everywhere we visit. We move on to the next house. Here lies one middle aged man seriously I’ll on his bed. He is drunk too, and by this time I get very grieved at the level of alcohol abuse in this remote place and wonder how they get it here. Anyway, me and Sanata pray for the man and at first nothing happens, then I have a word of knowledge that the man has pain every time food passes his esophagus. I shares this and the man confirms. We continue to pray and then I have a word of knowledge that he has serious trouble on the toilet and pain in his lowers abdomen. He confirms again and we pray. The holy Spirit tells me to give him two of my anti parasite tablets which are delivered to him the next day with clear instructions on how to use. We move on to the next house again and here it becomes clear how they keep up with the demand for alcohol. On a big bamboo mat is spread out a large quantity of millet that is fermenting, and one young woman is stirring it, she then mixes in some yeast and it is all put in a few large sealable drums. I wonder why the woman even bothers. Nearly every bloke here is in some state of drunkenness and by my standards she should be seriously fed up. Because I have asked what they are doing to all the stuff on the mat, I am offered some of this strange brew and I drink some. Partly because of curiosity to the taste, my fear of catching a stomach bug, and felt I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to accept. I would like to add that for the last 22 years I have drank only very occasionally and less than enough to become drunk. Sanata suddenly asks me to teach on the Abuse of alcohol so I share my testimony of how I became a Christian and after that I quite crudely tell them my idea of the general result of alcohol abuse on most or all men, while Sanata translates. We go back to Sanata’s parents house and on the way stop to talk to one man who asks me if it is true that a believer in Jesus will go to heaven when he dies. So I am sharing the gospel with him right down to explaining why there are things like disease and death. So, back to the start where Adam and Eve are created and the beginning if man’s sin. Back at Sanata’s parents house we rest and have some food, Sanata’s parents and brother have great fun by challenging me to eat some toad which turns out to be very, very tasty. I reasoned that after all they only live in water like fish do, so what is the difference? After that we get ray to leave the next day at 7. Sanata had planned to go to another could of villages, but because Sita is not able to do the walking he has cancelled that. We actually end u up leaving at 6.30 which is good because we need all the time we can get for daylight, so we start down the scarily steep ascend back down to the river. And cross the river after a shirt while walking me and Sanata go ahead of Sita, so we can have a good wash in the river Arun. We and or clothes are pretty dirty by this time, not having washed properly for days. By this time the sun is out and it starts to get very hot. When we are petty much finished, Sita crosses the bridge and we have agreed to catch up with her by the next stream after the crossing of the river Equa, so she can freshen up too. On the way back we have out more specs as we go and some basic medicine too. When we get to the stream where we are meant to meet up with Sita however, she is not there but eventually we catch up with her. On the way through the next village we pick up Sita’s bag from one of the local believers there which we had delivered there by the first church we visited on the way, because Sita was not able to carry the weight. After continuing downward for about an hour Sanata sees a 4x4 coming down the him on the other side of the Aqua river and he stress of down the him ahead of us to catch up with it so we can catch a ride back to Khandbari where we book in too a hotel for the night but this time there is no building site noise to same up to the next morning. What a shame! 

[dcfaniguess]

What if #2.

So I was seeing 6 big heroes and it came to my mind an AU of Marvel where the Avengers are the young heroes. I imagened it like this:

Tadashi Hamada - Gregory Stark. He is a 22 year old young adult, he has had take care of Tony since their parents died and is a genious.

Baymax - Iron Armour (Mark 42). It is a Gregory Stark’s invention, it was made to heal and protect people, when Gregory dies he becomes Tony’s best friend.

Hiro Hamada - Tony Stark. He’s an 12 year old little genious, he liked the easy life, but his brother convinced him to study in his university. When his brother dies he feels like his alone in the world, but then he remembers the Iron Armour and turn it on to talk, then he decides to chase and beat the villain who took his brother’s life, at first they do it on their own, but then they meet the rest of the team and Tony’s happy again.

Wasabi - Steve Rogers. He was Gregory’s best friend, when he meets Tony he sees a lot of Gregory on him and feels like he should protect him. When Gregory died he tried to help Tony feel better, but it didn’t quite went well. Then Tony assamble the team saying that what happened to his brother wasn’t an accident, he said that someone had killed him, so he was willing to help with no doubts.

Gogo - Natasha Romanoff. I don’t really know what to say about her, she was obsessed with spying, so she found a way to make it faster, but Tony nailed it when he assabled the team.

Honey Lemon - Thor. Don’t ask, he is the most innocent one.

Fred - Bruce Banner. He is a nerd, but he’s secretly a comic fan.

Callahan - Bucky. He was being controlled by Hydra when all of it happened, but still, Tony hates him for what he did. Whe he’s finally freed from Hydra he apology to Tony, he forgives him, but still feels sad for his brother.

When they finally save Bucky, Tony tries to leave the team because he thinks that his brother would be really dissapointed on him for trying to kill Bucky, but the others don’t allow this saying that they’re all his family now. Tony’s happy.

#6 big heroes #avengers #marvel #disney #movies #gregory stark #tony stark #tony #stark #Steve Rogers #captain america #steve #rogers #wasabi #gogo #natasha romanoff #natasha #romanoff #honey lemon #Thor #Fred #bruce banner #bruce #banner #Callahan #bucky barnes #bucky #barnes #james barnes #happy ending