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#i m sorry for the bad quality of the photo
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OKAY NOT TRYING TO PREDICT ANYTHING BUT IM JUST POINTING OUT
We all know the tbhk monster nursery au, right??
Well, the characters in the au weren’t using their actual name but rather the first letter of their names
Sorry for the bad photo quality-
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Even in dialogue, these characters didn’t use their name but letters
The monsters didn’t use their names as well, sticking to letters
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The three i assume is given to Mitsuba because he is the third mystery
And since the Mokke is not a mystery, he just got the letter M
However, Yashiro is given the letter 8
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It would make sense for Mitsuba to have a number since he is the 3rd mystery, but why Yashiro??
They could have just used an N, since N isn’t being used
Is this hinted to Yashiro being the 8th mystery?
I’M NOT SAYING I THINK SHE WILL BE BUT IM JUST POINTING OUT
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honeydewtreacle · 7 months
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🌟 me again... i just read your answer to my last ask, OMG those answers were so cool!! i literally did not know any of them. Can i ask some more????🥺
- morontourage pilot?
- as the curtain rises?
- how i paid for college? Any videos of that?
- any videos of make me bad?
- n'harmonics???
Lol thank you
Of course!
- The Morontourage project aka the (M)orons pilot, you may have heard Alex mention it in this Susan Blackwell interview (at 5:05). It was finished but as far as I'm aware was never publicly posted, but here are some pics from its production. I'm not sure if there's ever been much more information on the plot besides Alex's short description.
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- As The Curtain Rises (Broadway's First Digital Soap Opera) is exactly what it says on the tin, a little podcast soap opera. Recorded over quarantine and completely free on Spotify, Alex plays the Narrator, definitely worth a listen! There's also some in-character interviews in this playlist (Alex is in the thumbnails of the ones he's featured in) and he was in two cast live streams (7:44) and (5:40). [I'm not smart enough to do time stamped links sorry]
- Unfortunately no recordings of How I Paid For College as far as I know, but here are two promo videos for it! (Plot) (Production) And these pictures are everywhere but I figure I should add em just in case. (I also have the one of him doing the archer pose, but blasted tumblr photo limit!)
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- Make Me Bad, Drew and Alex's horror musical, similarly there's no recordings of Make Me Bad as far as I'm aware, but here's a whole gob of promo photos, a promo video, and a playlist of some songs from the musical. It's a shame there's not more of it, I'm super curious about Alex's writing, guess I'll just have to be patient and wait for one of his plays to be produced.
- Alex was in and acapella group called the N'Harmonics with F! Here's a playlist of the recordings I've been able to find, quality is a bit sketchy on some, but you can usually pick Alex out pretty easily since he moves way more than everybody else haha. He's INTO it.
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saintmeghanmarkle · 7 months
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Well now we know where she got the "paps on the school run" fantasy by u/dearest-ribwich
Well now we know where she got the "paps on the school run" fantasy The David Beckham documentary on Netflix is a very entertaining watch, and not just because it was basically 4.5 hours of eye candy 😁 As a Canadian, I don't really know much about him, just that he's gorgeous, married to Posh Spice, a friend to the RF, and a former friend of Haz. He came off as very likeable, fun, and hard working, though stubborn as anything, an extreme perfectionist, with his own share of insecurities. A decent human being. After watching the show, it's obvious he's sooooo much higher quality than Halfwit.In the last episode, there are a few moments where they discussed the unrelenting paps and press when they lived in Spain, and how it was quite overwhelming and scary for their kids. They said this was one was one of reasons they moved to LA. They knew they'd get attention in LA, they'd get attention anywhere, but it would be nowhere near as bad as in Spain. The schools in LA are much more private, and they weren't really targeted when there were much bigger stars around. But this little passage really stuck out to me:DB: Every time I went to drop Brooklyn off at school, 10-15 paparazzi were there every morning. The school run, it was live on Spanish TV. Brooklyn at the time was so young, and he had to go through it, and I, uh, I don't know if it's harmed him. I don't know. It strongly reminded me of what Meghan said in The Cut about potential UK schools runs with Archie:Earlier in our conversation about her goals for the life she’s creating here, she’d remarked upon how, if Archie were in school in the U.K., she’d never be able to do school pickup and drop-off without it being a royal photo call with a press pen of 40 people snapping pictures. “Sorry, I have a problem with that. That doesn’t make me obsessed with privacy. That makes me a strong and good parent protecting my child,” Meghan says.I'm wouldn't doubt the Beckhams talked to H&M about their experience with the kids & paps in Spain, and now two things have happened:1) H&M used the Beckham's story as their own to justify their move to LA, and2) Meghan was shading David & Victoria following their feud. Beckham very clearly had guilt and regret over the whole situation, and Meghan saying a "good" parent wouldn't allow it to happen seems (to me) like a comment meant to hurt him and Victoria.The Beckhams must be so relieved they are no longer friendly with H& M. They're such trash for not only taking that horrific experience lived by (at the time) their friends while also exaggerating it for their own benefit, but also for questioning the Beckhams' parenting through a difficult situation they had no control over. Remember The Cut article came out first, and now, just over a year later, we get an actual account of paparazzi harrassment at school by former friends of the Sussexes. Once again proof they haven't an original thought in either of their heads! post link: https://ift.tt/BijYAcP author: dearest-ribwich submitted: October 10, 2023 at 05:27AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit
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fruitdragon1a · 1 year
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Luz's designs for Fighting the Stars
Sorry for the bad quality photos and different lighting, these were taken with my phone from my sketchbook.
Anyway, enjoy Luz's designs for FtS. It was really fun to think of how her style would have changed due to her circumstances. My only regret is that I didn't do this sooner lol.
Also, as for why none of my drawings have eyes, I'm bad at drawing eyes.
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I wrote notes beside each image, I'll transcribe them here so you don't have to read my messy handwriting.
Luz's everyday outfit: The only parts of Luz's outfit that are the same as canon are her hoodie and her generic black leggings. She doesn't wear jean shorts, she has black shoes instead of white, and she's taken to wearing the SJMS hoodie around her waist.
Luz wearing Leo's cloak w/ hood up: She wears the fail-safe under the cloak. Her entire face is pretty much hidden when she has the hood up. Which is why most people tended to think of her as a newt.
Luz wearing Leo's cloak w/o hood up: no notes
Luz's pajamas: Pajamas that M got Bernardo to make NOT the same as canon pajamas
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moonbiscuitsims · 9 months
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Noodle appreciation on Sims 4 Gorillaz Project
2D's room pics Russel's room pics Murdoc's room pics ("mature") More Gorillaz themed posts
From the wiki: ヌードル (Nuudoru), better known as Noodle, is the official guitarist and former occasional backing vocalist of Gorillaz.
Born: Osaka, Kansai, Japan on 31st October 1990.
Instruments: Guitar, keyboard, synthesizer.
Occupation(s): Songwriter, Guitarist, Vocalist, Ex-Super Soldier
Nationality: Japanese
Religion: Buddhism and Shinto
Created by: Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
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Inspired by D.A.R.E. I used the video for extra reference especially for the front side of the room which i couldn't see well in the reference pics.
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Theres a cute little scene in the MTV Cribs Gorillaz short where noodle kicks Murdoc out of her room. The cute ceiling lanterns are missing in this pic because I forgot to start the tab camera from a zoomed out position and they fade when you zoom in my bad.
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In the Phase 1 room, that little blue chair was actually Noodle's bed but after she has the white one, so I made it into a chair. If you understand it, please ignore the sign probably meaning something extremely random I can (slightly) read hiragana/katakana but not kanjis sorry I hope it doesn't mean poop or something bad it was just for aesthetic.
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I made her room quite messy, because I have an obsession with messy rooms and Gorillaz aesthetics did tend to be quite cluttered and messy.
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I like to imagine Cyborg Noodle stole Noodles soldier clothes, so that's why she is wearing them. She is still a badass who loves to train just in case.
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The literal description of Kids with Guns. Obviously guns are bad, this is fiction, don't use guns.
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I used tons of Cyberpunk 2077 cc for this room and other parts of the building. So that giant head is a Beta version of Shaun Ryder before he could drunk-British karaoke sing D.A.R.E. with Noodle in her secret room. No one is going to convince me that Gorillaz is not slightly cyberpunk, they're a virtual band with holograms, with cyborgs, weird talking robot heads, dystopian and apocalyptic themes and beaches made of plastic.
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The bathroom and many parts of the lot were made up but there was no way I was gonna make a poor innocent little teen girl share the disgusting toilets and bathrooms with three dirty grown men ( ×m×) Hers is also slightly dirty but nowhere near as bad I'll post them in future posts.
I created these sims a long time ago, they were so much fun to make, I even made my own (terrible) cc to make certain clothing items more accurate. The lot they live on is Kong Studios, I kind of mixed all the Phases, but my favourite was Phase 2. In the future I hope to do more Phase 3, after that everything is a bit unknown to me as Gorillaz were kind of on hiatus for many years after Plastic Beach and I fell out of touch with them, only to realise quite recently they have tons of new music 🧡
For the inspiration I used I'll leave reference photos I found, from all the old online flash games there use to be, I loved them it's a shame that part of the internet is over x), as well as using their music videos and Rise of the Ogre comic. They're all super bad quality because 240p videos and footage of the 2000's.
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Overall I had a really fun time making them and taking these pics, I know they're old but it gives me a lot of nostalgia and I love their music and the entire project. Also I use tons of cc so I don't know if I'll be sharing a CC list, I started making it only to see I was taking 3 hours for barely any of it, so I may (possibly) share it in the future with the lot and sims files, but for now I'm just showing the project. I might also make some cosy lets play videos with them just chilling for my YouTube.
Any support for my posts is greatly appreciated 🧡
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onenicebugperday · 2 years
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@chxmm-m​ submitted: can i get an id for this little fella that landed on my knee in the mountains a couple weeks ago? found in [removed] (please remove). sorry that the quality is pretty bad, they were a very small friend so i had to zoom in a bunch!
You nearly had me stumped on this one! But I feel fairly confident saying it’s a mirid bug, maybe in the genus Phytocoris. I’d need more photos to get more specific!
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baekhvuns · 2 years
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I finally got fluffy San back, he looked so cute with his hair down :"( and Seonghwa doing the Spiderman pose during the fan sign, plsss fucking nerd gonna kiss his forehead if he doesn't stop. Just a DILF professor Mingi and his son
https://twitter.com/princechoisan/status/1522298616538439680?t=_gXTXq4Mao6HwtmjhLLV-Q&s=19
Also, Hwa pls NOOOOO: https://twitter.com/holyseonghwa/status/1522308376813834240?t=ozeIi5Z7DtNeFADrmHIosg&s=19 Just search your name on twt and you'll see it all 💀
Omfg at first I thought your pcs were of Ateez only, but I zoomed in and Mr Kai???
Perhaps that girl is a Shinestar idk, thankfully I rarely comment and try to keep it civil, lmao but it's so funny what a reunion. I feel bad for parents with demonic children cause you can tell some of them are trying yet the kids are just evil... but many just don't give a fuck CAUSE THEY'RE KIDS LET THEM HAVE FUN, well Melissa your kid is throwing M&Ms at everyone...yeah that happened actually, one kid hit my glasses and I almost unleashed hell. It was yeeeeeears ago when I worked in a store. Also some kids would steal sweets, actually if they asked I would give them some (we weren't supposed to do that, but I didn't care for that job anyways) but if they stole and left the wrappers for us to clean 🔫🔫🔫🔫 and some parents thought it was acceptable. Hell adults did the same shit and sometimes I would chase after them with the wrappers to call them out or sneak up on them while they were consuming and be like "enjoying your stolen treat?" they thought they were being subtle. I didn't give a shit about them stealing from the shop I just didn't want to collect their rubbish and seeing them go 👁👄👁 was always funny as hell, good times!
I can't eat kinder surprise chocolate now though I miss it :((( also the toys nowadays are pretty shitty from what I've seen same with Happy Meals, wtf the quality went 📉📉📉📉 *boomer mode on* back in my days we got cool collections like elephants, vampires, aliens, hippos, cats, crocodiles... (the fact I searched for them and it said VINTAGE 90S TOYS made me feel so old wtf 🤧 they were sold in the early 00s as well wdym 🤚🏻)
https://www.ebay.com/itm/252318507984?_ul=MX - Another proof I was obsessed with collecting stuff from the start. Did you have Bratz or other dolls too? And are you familiar with those skinny bitches from McDonald's lolol sorry for the ancient looking photo, they were called Betty Spaghetty
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/DdMAAOSw-mdetCar/s-l300.jpg
And the doggos: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EwpcxqIWEAAm8w0?format=jpg&name=small
Fun fact I left the Husky one at the airport in Rome 😢 but then I found out that my cousin switched our Huskies cause hers was a bit damaged (I didn't realise lmao) so I eventually took hers (well mine) as a revenge. She thought it got lost 🤭
The speshol came from this jsushwhahbdshaj https://youtube.com/shorts/UITdXUUEsQI?feature=share
WE ARE NOT ROOTING FOR YOU omg nooo 💔💔💔 but tbh what's with people creating boring leads... I mean some deserve better they're plain, but just like people irl so it's kinda hypocritical to call them uninteresting while most people are this way. But some characters are just... they're just there and all attention is supposed to be on them, but even their dog is more interesting and relatable. Some Y/N's are the same way, I don't need to relate to them 100%, but omfg make them bearable at least!
BM is not exactly a murder and crime mystery, I mean there's murder, crime and mysteries 😂 but it's about dystopian worlds basically, the consequences of technology, lots of angst - pretty mind fucking stuff. - DV 💖
hi!!!
I finally got fluffy San back, he looked so cute with his hair down :"( and Seonghwa doing the Spiderman pose during the fan sign, plsss fucking nerd gonna kiss his forehead if he doesn't stop. Just a DILF professor Mingi and his son https://mobile.twitter.com/princechoisan/status/1522298616538439680?t=_gXTXq4Mao6HwtmjhLLV-Q&s=19
HE RLY DID !!! like yellow whipped cream 😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO IM FIRST GET IN LIKE 🔫 pls…not dilf mingi pls pls 🤚🏼😭
Also, Hwa pls NOOOOO: https://twitter.com/holyseonghwa/status/1522308376813834240?t=ozeIi5Z7DtNeFADrmHIosg&s=19 Just search your name on twt and you'll see it all 💀
LMFAOOOO PLS IF HE EVER HAD THAT ABILITY IT WOULD BE SO EMBARRASSING WHEN HE FINDS HOW HORNY SHINESTARS ARE 😭😭😭😭 no fr search ur name bro
Omfg at first I thought your pcs were of Ateez only, but I zoomed in and Mr Kai???
mr kai runs this body <3 kind of strange that ik exo since debut yet have two albums from them and ik ateez for more than half their time and have their entire discography 😀
Perhaps that girl is a Shinestar idk, thankfully I rarely comment and try to keep it civil, lmao but it's so funny what a reunion. I feel bad for parents with demonic children cause you can tell some of them are trying yet the kids are just evil... but many just don't give a fuck CAUSE THEY'RE KIDS LET THEM HAVE FUN, well Melissa your kid is throwing M&Ms at everyone...yeah that happened actually, one kid hit my glasses and I almost unleashed hell. It was yeeeeeears ago when I worked in a store. Also some kids would steal sweets, actually if they asked I would give them some (we weren't supposed to do that, but I didn't care for that job anyways) but if they stole and left the wrappers for us to clean 🔫🔫🔫🔫 and some parents thought it was acceptable. Hell adults did the same shit and sometimes I would chase after them with the wrappers to call them out or sneak up on them while they were consuming and be like "enjoying your stolen treat?" they thought they were being subtle. I didn't give a shit about them stealing from the shop I just didn't want to collect their rubbish and seeing them go 👁👄👁 was always funny as hell, good times!
AS I WAS WRITING THIS THERES KIDS 😭 A GROUP OF KIDS OUTSIDE SCREAMING AND RUNNING AND u know those noise making things u get for birthdays?? the one u blow in and it goes “eeeee” …..that’s what’s been going on it’s BEEN HOURS IM CRYING GENUINELY THERES TEARS IN MY WYES FHWJDHWKFKLW THE AMT OF TIMES I WENT TO THE WINDOW TO GIVE THEM A GLARE BUT THEIR MOTHERS WINT EGEN STOP THEM IMSCRCEKAJMG,,,,
LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭😭 FBWKDH U DDINT CARE IF THEY STOLE BUT IF THEY THREW WRAPPERS LMFAOOO 😭😭😭😭😭 it’s on site, one of my friends worked at walmart, he saw someone steal bananas and never reported bc he said “im not paid enough too” 😭😭😭
I can't eat kinder surprise chocolate now though I miss it :((( also the toys nowadays are pretty shitty from what I've seen same with Happy Meals, wtf the quality went 📉📉📉📉 *boomer mode on* back in my days we got cool collections like elephants, vampires, aliens, hippos, cats, crocodiles... (the fact I searched for them and it said VINTAGE 90S TOYS made me feel so old wtf 🤧 they were sold in the early 00s as well wdym 🤚🏻
OH NAURRR 😭😭😭 no fr happy meals r so changed now and for what ?????? LMFAOOOO NOT VINTAGE 😭😭😭😭😭
do u rmr the 2010 shrek happy meals??? i had this shrek himself https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LOzL3G94TR4
https://www.ebay.com/itm/252318507984?_ul=MX - Another proof I was obsessed with collecting stuff from the start. Did you have Bratz or other dolls too? And are you familiar with those skinny bitches from McDonald's lolol sorry for the ancient looking photo, they were called Betty Spaghetty
BDMWBDKW I DID!!! i had a 2008 yasmin or sasha doll,,,, idk which out of the two but i had one of those and the way i was so obsessed fbwhdhd SKINNY BITCHES 😭😭😭 LMFAOOO BETTY SPAGHETTY I DO I RMR 😭😭😭
omg do u rmr this doll https://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/barbie-barbie-love-doll-taffy-dog-1916951645 i have this exact one with me rn, hair chopped and highlighted with a highlighter 😭😭😭😭
Fun fact I left the Husky one at the airport in Rome 😢 but then I found out that my cousin switched our Huskies cause hers was a bit damaged (I didn't realise lmao) so I eventually took hers (well mine) as a revenge. She thought it got lost 🤭
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The speshol came from this jsushwhahbdshaj https://youtube.com/shorts/UITdXUUEsQI?feature=share
LMFAOOOO PLS 😭😭😭😭 THEYRE SO FUNNY 😭😭
WE ARE NOT ROOTING FOR YOU omg nooo 💔💔💔 but tbh what's with people creating boring leads... I mean some deserve better they're plain, but just like people irl so it's kinda hypocritical to call them uninteresting while most people are this way. But some characters are just... they're just there and all attention is supposed to be on them, but even their dog is more interesting and relatable. Some Y/N's are the same way, I don't need to relate to them 100%, but omfg make them bearable at least!
no that’s so true, so true so true 1000% like main characters r supposed to have an oomph but also be like normal ppl u know?? YEAH MAKE THEM BAREABLE 😭😭 like those older kdrama girlies have more personality than the new ones 🔫
BM is not exactly a murder and crime mystery, I mean there's murder, crime and mysteries 😂 but it's about dystopian worlds basically, the consequences of technology, lots of angst - pretty mind fucking stuff. - DV 💖
OHHHHHH DYSTOPIAN 👁👄👁
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xtrablak674 · 6 months
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But Is It Vanity?
[This is my job right here, to get the children to think about the things they say and the assumptions they make. And to do it in a way that isn't humiliating, shameful or generally off-putting. I do think its the one quality as an Uncle, Titi, Titi or not-parent that I am very good at, if I do say so myself.]
M: You have a high opinion of yourself and your appearance. That is a big sign of vanity, especially your worth. Vanity refers to appearance, opinion and self worth. You have large amounts of pride in all of those. Dressing nice isn’t a sign of vanity, talking about it and showing it off is.
A person that dresses like you but doesn’t take photos or never brings it up would not be considered vain. Your extensive photos can count as showing off. It’s not a bad thing to be vain. You have a high opinion of yourself. Good for you, be confident!
T: Buenos tardes sobrino, you're analysis is very curious to me, because I'm un-partnered, all my parents are dead, and I don't have children of my own. So, who is necessarily supposed to document my existence, or the fact that I was even here? Now do I share photos with maybe less than six people, its probably like five, yes I do.
Let me tell you where I don't share photos anymore, not on Facebook, I shut that down. I've used Instagram stories to post my different looks in the past, but I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not really here to perform for folks or allow them to live vicariously through me. #LiveYourOwnLife
I dress nicely because I like to look nice, I could actually go without sharing the photos because I'm documenting myself primarily for myself, because at the end of the day I don't think anyone really cares.
If there's no documentation, did it really happen? Did I exist, did I leave a mark, did my life have value? Is thats self-absorbed, or vain, or full of myself, to want to be remembered or recalled, or is that human?
M: I don’t view you as self absorbed or anything nasty like that. You’re handsome and you’re happy with that, which I think is awesome. I’m sorry if I came off as rude, to myself the term vain isn’t something negative, as so I just viewed it as a trait like any other. The documentation of yourself is fair, at the end of the day I know very little of whom you communicate with or what so I could only comment on how it came off from my perspective.
T: Which is fair.
I used to broadcast wider, but that no longer felt authentic, many of those folks couldn't care less if I took another breath. And those who were vicariously living through my life were also leeches in my opinion, so I cut them off. Now I share with less than five folks, those rare moments when I actually leave the house.
I also share with my microblog, with its three followers, which will be my personal eulogy about my life in my own words after I am gone, well for as long as Tumblr is online which may be less than ten years, you never know.
I remember being jealous of this girlfriend who always had photographers around her documenting her life and accomplishments and I said to myself, I will be my own historian documenting my own life, because no one else is. No one may ultimately look or care, but maybe one image may survive beyond me, and maybe it will bring a smile to someone, or inspire them to become their own fashion icon.
I am a pariah in my life, the last one left behind with few still alive who are even concerned about my well-being. Documenting good moments is a way to say, hey I still matter, and I have something to offer even if no one is partaking. I find happiness in the unadulterated celebration of myself. #💌
M: That was really well written. Thank you for sharing that with me Titi❤️
Sometimes the young people forget that their elders have as much below the surface life as they do, we are full human beings with depth, doubts and concerns about our mortality. Approaching the challenge with love is all we can do in reminding them or teaching them who we are.
[Photo by Brown Estate]
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martincart · 3 years
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Here’s my outfit design for your Fara craft collab: field clothes for Fara on a desert planet. Helmet optional!
I tried to think simple but uber-practical: a sand-colored/grayish poncho, a dark jumpsuit, and dark gloves. These boots are also sand-colored and comparatively short compared to the typical silver pilot-boots.
(So… The dark parts of this outfit might get stupid-hot to wear, but then again, deserts get very cold at night. Hah! Black is fashionable, what can I say?) 
Art made by @naytile​ . thank you so much for this cute design! <3
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I'm very sorry to wait! but you already know very well what problems I had and that we are in December and well, hmmm, you know what we do this month xD
But that does not matter! the clothes are here! and I have had a lot of fun designing and creating these little clothes for our dear Fara! her desert aesthetic makes me very much imagine Fara exploring Titania or Katina on an undercover mission. Although black is not the best shade to explore in hot places! xD
Thank you very much for this beautiful collaboration! It was a pleasure working with you!
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shina913 · 2 years
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Gradation (V-Day drabble) | JJK
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✮ ✮ ✮ Gradation Masterlist ✮ ✮ ✮
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Pairing: JJK x Fem!reader
Rating: M (🔞); NSFW
Genre: marriage!AU; established-relationship!AU; mature content; fluff; angst; smut; NSFW
Word count: 4.3K+ words (okay--a little over to be a drabble but whatevs)
Warnings: marriage; long-term relationship; jealous JK; unprotected sex in a committed, monogamous relationship; soft-dom OC; soft-dom/sub JK; oral (m-rcv); light bondage; switch!; minor degradation (sorry); pregnancy symptoms; pregnancy test; pregnancy announcement; excessive cussing; some angst; tooth-rotting fluff in the end
Summary: It's your first Valentine's Day as a married couple and you get into a little tiff the night before. You figured that a little makeup-sex was warranted.
A/N: Okay so...I didn't plan on this so this is completely un-beta'd and not fully proofed--if you see typos, pretend you didn't see them!
It was a random idea and I just decided to straight-shot it this evening. I missed these two so much and in honor of breaking 400 notes on the series, I thought I'd write a dirty drabble for them for Valentine's Day (well--technically after Vday since it's past midnight as I'm posting this LOL). Enjoy!
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You and Jungkook are having a quiet Sunday movie night in. You typically went over to your parents’ for dinner but since you both just got back from your own work-related trips this week that you just wanted to spend some quality time together.
You also hadn’t been feeling well since returning from your trip. You thought that maybe you had caught a bug or something. It was that time of year, you thought–and being on a plane with a bunch of strangers–it was inevitable that their germs would get to you.
You sat on the couch–your feet resting on his lap while a bowl of popcorn sat on your belly as you both munched. You were scrolling through your social media right when Jimin forwards a meme to you that instantly had you in stitches.
“Kookie, look at this meme,” you giggled as you showed your phone to him.
He leans over to look then laughs at it until he sees a little notification pop on top of your screen.
worldwidejin liked your post.
His smile quickly falters and turns into irritation. “Uh–looks like somebody just liked your post,” he mumbles as he slumps into the couch and pouts, shoving popcorn angrily into his mouth.
“Hm?” You were curious as you pulled your phone back towards you to view who it was.
“Oh.” You forgot that you and Jin still followed each other on Instagram. It’s not like you communicated or anything. Just the occasional ‘like’ or ‘cry-laughing’ emoji comment.’
“‘Oh’?” He echoed mockingly. “That’s all you’re going to say?”
“What’s the big deal?”
“What’s the big deal? He’s your ex,” Jungkook says pointedly.
“Okay, and? I’m married to you.”
“But he still gets to ‘like’ your social media posts,” he retorts.
“Kook–I don’t see what the big deal is. You’re clearly all over my posts…“ you said as you showed your phone screen to him and scrolled through your posts. ”And our wedding photos are on there. I don’t get why you’re all butt-hurt about it.”
“I just…you guys used to have sex.”
“You and Lisa also used to have sex and yet she was our wedding guest while Jin was not so–what are we arguing about here?”
“But you and Lisa are friends–”
You scoffed, “So? It doesn’t change the fact that you used to be in love with her and chased her around Paris!”
Jungkook sighs deeply.
“What is this about, really?”
“I just–I just don’t like how he can still look in on you every now and then.”
You shrugged. “It’s not like he and I split up on bad terms. It’s not like we actually talk or anything–”
Jungkook groans. “Ugghh—I don’t know. I just don’t like it.”
“You and Lisa still talk?”
“It’s not the same though,” he almost says with a childish whine.
“How is it ‘not the same?’” You deadpanned.
He shook his head. “It’s just not!” He gets up abruptly, your ankles landing on the floor with a thud before he heads into the bedroom in a huff.
You scrunched your face in utter confusion. You turned the TV off before getting up to follow him in.
As you stopped by the threshold to your room, you found that he was already under the sheets, in the dark, and laying on his side. You lifted the sheets and got into your side of the bed. Jungkook always slept without a shirt on so you immediately raked your hands up his bare back.
“Babe, what’s wrong? Talk to me,” you coaxed softly while kissing the base of his neck.
“I’m just tired and I want to go to sleep,” he mutters without facing you before he crawls up into a ball, pulling farther away from your touch.
You rolled your eyes. You’ve had little fights before and some of them didn’t get resolved before bedtime. You sighed, thinking that this would be one of those nights, needing to sleep this off instead.
******
The next morning, you woke up to find that he was already gone. No goodbye kiss, no text, or note…whatsoever. It was also Valentine’s Day which was unusual for him. On your last Valentine’s Day, he took you to a fancy revolving restaurant. You were not much for ‘thrill rides’ but it seemed like a unique enough experience to intrigue you.
But this was your first Valentine’s Day as a married couple and you were disappointed that he chose to act childish over something that wasn’t even really a big deal to begin with.
With a huff, you sat up then suddenly gasped from the pounding headache that just came over you. You didn’t drink last night–thankfully–but it sure felt like you did.
You gingerly got up from your bed then padded over to the bathroom to wash your face. After finishing up your morning routine, you suddenly had a hankering for kimchi and rice.
During weekdays, you typically skipped breakfast at home in favor of coffee and maybe picking up a pastry on the way to the office.
You dug into your fridge, remembering that Jungkook’s mom dropped off some homemade kimchi last week. You found the container and set it on the counter. You grabbed a bowl then checked on the rice to make sure that there was still enough. You scooped some into your bowl then doubled back to where you set the kimchi. You opened the container and as soon as you got a whiff of the pickled scent, you started to gag.
Maybe it had gone bad? That seemed weird, you thought. It’s only been a week and you kept it sealed in the fridge. You smelled it again and it made you dry-heave.
It was strange, really. A moment ago, you were just craving it–and now it made you want to–
Bleeecchhhh…
You barely made it to the kitchen sink before you threw up chunks of your dinner from last night. You turned the faucet on and ran the garbage disposal, hoping your vomit wouldn’t clog your plumbing.
After you gargle and wash your mouth, you take a deep breath. You thought that maybe the incubation period of whatever this bug was was short and that you were already feeling the symptoms. You decided to call out of work for the day, not wanting to get anybody else sick.
You walked over to the medicine cabinet in your bathroom, checking for any antacids–it seemed like you were fresh out.
Luckily, there was a grocery store around the corner from your building that doubled as a pharmacy as well.
Although your head was pounding, you managed to make the trek out to the end of the block. You didn’t want to linger in case your stomach decided to do somersaults again. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself in public.
You walked straight to the pharmaceutical aisle and picked up a bottle of the gross, pink, bismuth liquid to help settle your stomach. That was all that you needed so you turn on your heel to make your way down to the checkout line. Halfway down, you spotted some tampons, suddenly remembering that you needed to pick up some since you ran out last month…or was it–You suddenly pulled your phone out to check your calendar.
Shit. What day was it?
Then you realized…change of plans–this wasn’t going to be a short shopping trip after all.
******
Your headache all but forgotten, you came back home with a few additional items including three dozen roses, a bagful of candles, and three small boxes.
You left the rest of your things on the counter, taking those three boxes with you to the bathroom.
After fifteen minutes of waiting on the toilet, you look over at the three sticks that you set flat on your bathroom counter.
You fought the urge to call Jungkook and decided to set a plan in motion.
After scattering rose petals all over the floor, you laid down across the foot of the bed–noting the full-length sliding mirrors right in front of it. You had switched out your normal barn-door style closet doors soon after you and Jungkook moved in together. It certainly added more interest to your bedroom antics.
You picked out a lacy, fire-engine red lingerie set–very festive, you thought. You took those nude, lace-up sandals that he loved to fuck you in and put them on as well.
You then took your position–bending your knee up slightly so your lace-up heels would come to view. You had one arm held up above your head while you allowed your hair to cascade down the sheets. Your other hand held your phone, aiming at the mirror to take a few sexy shots for your husband.
You switched positions and took a few more shots. Once you decided on the sexiest photos, you attached two of your best shots–one where you laid down and the second where you knelt on the bed with your thighs parted–your lingerie in full view with a caption to him–”Only for you,” before you hit ‘send.’
******
Jungkook busied himself all day. He was pissed last night. He knew that he was being unreasonable and childish but he’s made it clear before that Jin has been a bit of a sore spot for him even though it’s been ages since you broke up.
He was fully aware that it was Valentine’s Day and yet here he was at the office, pouting and trying to avoid picking up his phone most of the day.
“Jungkook-nim?”
He looked up from his computer screen to find his assistant Melanie leaning against his doorframe.
“Hey, Mel. What’s up?”
“Uhm–I was wondering if I could dip a couple hours early? I’m sorry it’s kind of a last-minute ask but…it turns out that Jimin surprised me with some dinner reservations at Pirouette. It’s incredibly difficult to get a reservation and–”
“Of course,” he chuckled at her unnecessary babbling. “And yes, I know what the waitlist is like.” He had brought you there for your first Valentine’s Day–it was a rooftop restaurant with a revolving floor, offering 360-degree views of the city. It seemed like an odd concept and you thought that the spinning restaurant concept would make you feel sick. But you hardly felt the revolutions and itt ended up being such a fun date-night for both of you.
“You go on ahead, Mel. Have a great Valentine’s Day.”
“Thank you. I hope you and YN have a good one, too,” she says with a quick bow before she walks back to her desk.
Suddenly, he felt bad for the way he acted last night and this morning. He goes to retrieve his phone, which he hid in his drawer to stop it from distracting him. As soon as he turns the “do not disturb” function off, he sees your text come through.
“Holy fuck,” he gasps.
******
It took all of Jungkook’s energy not to speed through every red light on the way home from the office.
The elevator dings up to the 8th floor and he jogs down the hallway. He slows to a halt, his shoes squeaking against the tiled floor as he stands right in front of your door. He stood there with a single red rose in one hand–reminiscent of your first date over a year ago–that he bought from a flower cart that he spotted close to his office.
He tried calming his heartbeat–pushing his hair back, wiping away the beads of sweat that had formed on his hairline–not just from rushing over but in anticipation of what he was about to see behind this door.
He retrieved his house key and pushed it into the slot to unlock your door.
The blinds were drawn so the room was kept dim and illuminated by at least 30 pillar candles around the kitchen and living room. You went a little crazy at the store, not gonna lie.
Rose petals adorned the floor beginning from your front doorway leading down to your bedroom. He could hear soft music playing coming from the room–in which the door was ajar.
He took a few steps and found you laying on your back across the bed.
“I didn’t think you’d show,” you said with a little hint of disappointment.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, baby” he said sheepishly as he stood by your feet.
“A minute longer and I would have dusted off the vibrator,” you said lowly.
You didn’t really mean it. You haven’t used the vibrator for solo-play in a long time. If you whipped it out, it was only to enhance your playtime with him.
You sighed, before turning over onto your belly–your ass in full view, barely covered by the lace material of your thong.
He hissed before taking his suit jacket to set it down the corner armchair in the room. He loosened his tie before sinking his knee into the bed and slowly crawling up to you. He touches the rose on the backs of your thigh, to the swell of your cheek, up your back until he reaches the top of your shoulder where you feel his breath on you.
“I said I was sorry,” he says before kissing your shoulder.
You crane your neck to take a look at him and are greeted by the rose that he held up to you.
“Happy Valentine’s Day. I was a complete idiot last night,” he says softly.
You turned your body over slightly to get a better look at him then hold up your left hand to his face. “You know what this is, right?” You asked him, referring to the rings on your finger. “In case you forgot–this means that I am yours and only yours–for life, Jeon Jungkook.”
He gives you a half smile. “Sorry. I was just–”
“You’re lucky I think you’re sexier when you’re all possessive and jealous,” you said, cutting him off.
He cocked an eyebrow. “Is that right?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“So you’re saying,” he slowly reaches down to palm your ass cheek, “You like when I get territorial?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“I was really pissed off, you know.” His eyes turned dark with lust. His hand shifts to your hip, turning you over, flat on your back.
“I know you were.” Your breath started to get ragged in anticipation of his next move.
“I’ve been thinking of ways to make you pay for it.” His voice was dangerously low now as he hovered over you.
You bit your lip as your heart started to race. “Show me,” you breathed out, heat already pooling between your thighs.
He gives you a smirk before he takes his tie off his neck. You eyed it carefully–it wasn’t the first time he’s bound you.
You weren’t deep into BDSM kink but every now and then, you dabbled in sensory deprivation since Jungkook loved to surprise you so much by blindfolding you, you eventually tried it in the bedroom. Unsurprisingly, it brought a whole new dimension to your sex life.
You presented your wrists to him but he shook his head ‘no.’ You furrowed your brows in confusion.
“Don’t you want to make me pay for it?”
“No. I was bad–so I want you to punish me,” he says as he hands you his tie.
You could have orgasmed after hearing him say that right then but you bit the inside of your cheek to contain your excitement.
“O-okay,” you said with a hint of hesitation. You didn’t really know how to top from the bottom but you were game to try it. You glanced at the tie in your hand then back at him and your expression turns serious. You realized he was still fully-clothed.
“Stand up,” you ordered.
“Yes, ma’am,” he complies and gets up from your bed, awaiting further instruction.
You got up slowly and sat on your heels. “Strip for me.”
“As you wish,” he says, never taking his eyes off you. His button-down shirt comes off first. You drank him in, eyeing his chiseled torso–with that tattooed sleeve in full display. He unbuckles his belt then undoes the top button of his trousers and unzips them–achingly slowly–until he pulls his boxers’ waistband down to tease you further. Your mouth has already started to water, embarrassingly enough but you didn’t care.
He was all yours.
“All the way off,” you commanded.
He complies, pulling his bottoms all the way off. His cock standing at attention right in front of you. You fought every instinct to take him deep into your mouth.
So you cleared your throat in an attempt to stay focused–you were not good at this at all but you kept up the ruse. “Good. Now get on the bed–back against the headboard.”
He obeys, crawling back to the bed, just as you ordered.
You take his tie and gesture at his hands. He presents his wrists to you and you thread his hands through the loop and tighten the knot.
Since moving into your place, you had switched out your queen-sized mattress into a king–you liked to cuddle but let’s face it–you also liked your space. But it also gave you more room to play.
With the new mattress came a new headboard purchase. This new one conveniently had a bar over the tufted cushion.
You pulled his bound wrists over his head then fed the loose end of the tie around the bar and knotted it there.
“You’ll tell me if it’s too much?” You asked him.
He nodded.
“I want to hear you say it, Jungkook.”
“Yes, YN,” he rasped.
“Good boy,” you grinned slyly. “Hmm…so what should we do with you,” you wondered out loud as you caressed his chin with your finger.
“So…you were mad because some guy that I don’t even think about anymore liked some pictures on my phone?”
He nodded his head.
“What was that? I can’t hear you.”
“Yes,” he said.
“Did you–like the pictures that I sent to you this afternoon?”
“Yes,” he said tenderly this time.
“Do you think–maybe…I should have sent him some pictures, too?”
“No,” he said with a clipped tone, followed by a low rumble within his chest.
“Well, I wouldn’t have done that.” Your hand rested on his torso and slowly slid down his abdomen. “I told you–” his cock twitches as you lift your hand right before landing on his crotch.
You move your hands up your waist until they rest on your breasts. “I’m all yours, Jungkook.” You moaned softly as you gave them a squeeze.
He gives a soft grunt and you feel him buck his hips slightly against you.
You reached around your back to unclasp the hook of your bra, slowly shook it off and tossed it to the side.
You palmed them with your hands, pinching and pulling on your hardened nipples. “You like what you see?”
“Yes,” he says as he licks his lips. It absolutely gutted him that he couldn’t touch you right now.
You started to roll your clothed crotch against his.
“Is that good,” you asked.
He moaned softly. “Hmm…yes.”
You stilled your hips then took the base of his cock with your hand and began to stroke. He hisses with the contact. God, he was so hard for you.
“Does that feel good?”
“Fuck…yes,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
You wrapped your lips around the tip, sucking on the pre-cum that was already beading there.
He groaned while his eyes rolled to the back of his head in pleasure. You then ran the flat of your tongue from the base up to the tip before taking him into your mouth.
You took him in deeper until the tip hit the back of your throat.
“Aahh–what the fuhh–”
You bobbed your head up and down his length, his hips slowly thrusting into your mouth. He moans in between ragged breaths as you hollow your cheeks and sucked him in deeper. It turned you on so much, you were already soaking wet.
You decided that you weren’t strong enough for this. You were losing control and happily wanted to relinquish control back to him. You were aching to feel him in you. You wanted him to handle you.
You released his cock from your mouth with a pop before sitting up to lean over and reach up to the headboard. You loosened his restraints and freed himself from his tie. He watched you intently as you leaned back slightly to strip your soaked underwear off you before turning over the bed on all fours.
“I need you to fuck me hard, Jungkook,” you practically begged him.
“Yes, ma’am,” he obeys as he moves swiftly behind you to pull your ass up higher and pushes back into you. You were so slick for him that it didn’t take much effort at all.
He started to pump his hips–thrusting in and out of you, teasing you with shallow plunges.
“Harder,” you said.
You felt him dig his fingers into your hips before pulling out, stopping right at the tip. “Like this,” he asks before slamming hard into you.
“Fuck…yesss…” He repeated this twice until he got into this torturous rhythm. My god, you loved it when he was so deep like this.
He continued to rail into you…over and over, stroking your trembling walls relentlessly–claiming you as his and his alone. You were firmly pinned to the mattress by his grip, and his weight–completely at his mercy.
“Fuck, you’re so fucking wet–is that all for me, hm?”
“Yes, yes–” you rasped.
“You like being a dirty slut just for me, huh?”
“Hmmmfuucck,” you whined.
“I can’t hear you, baby. Are you a dirty slut for me,” he says as he fisted your hair into his fingers while he continues to drill his length into you.
“Yes, fuck!” You snapped as your orgasm neared. Your fingers found your aching bud and you rubbed it with perfect pressure–just enough to bring you closer to the edge.
“Fuck, you’re getting so tight…are you gonna cum hard for me?”
“Gooood, yes,” you groaned. A few more swipes of your fingers and hard thrusting of his hips, you were writing in pleasure underneath him.
He continues to slam his cock into you a few more times until his hips still and he lets out a long, drawn out moan as his climax rippled through his body.
He pulls out of you slowly then collapses on the bed next to you while you slowly roll over to your side, facing him.
As you both came down from your highs, you smiled at him even though you were completely spent.
His eyes fluttered, suddenly filled with concern. “A-are you okay? Was that too rough?”
“No,” you said simply. “That was great!” You both chuckled.
After a beat, you attempted to get up to go to the bathroom when he stopped you.
“No, stay–I’ll grab a towel for you,” he says as he gets off the bed to make his way there instead.
You had fully intended to go back in there to retrieve something for him but he was already ahead of you. Oh well–he’d see it anyway.
“YN,” he yells out.
“Yes?” He seems to have found them.
“What the fuck is this?”
“What is what,” you asked, acting stupid while trying to stifle a giggle.
He walks out of the bathroom with three sticks in his hand. “What is–what is this,” he asks softly.
You sat up, leaning against your elbows to see what he was referring to. “Uhm…” you bit your lip.
“Are we–are you–”
You grinned before you nodded. “Yes,” you mouthed.
His hand flies to his mouth with a gasp. “Oh, shit,” he laughs. “Are you serious?”
“I mean–there’s three different tests. One of them is digital and actually says the word on the screen,” you laughed.
“Holy shit–we’re going to be parents…I’m going to be a dad. Oh shit,” he babbles. He was clearly in shock.
“A-are you excited?” you asked apprehensively.
“Am I excited? I’m fucking over the moon!” he cups your chin to kiss you. “Oh my god–oh my god, I love you so much,” he says in between kisses then freezes all of a sudden with a look of terror in his face.
“Fuck! And you just let me fuck you like that and cum in you after you already knew? What if I hurt it? Oh shit…and I called you names–fuck!” He rakes his fingers through his hair in a panic.
You fell in absolute stitches.
“Fuck, YN–this is serious! What if I damaged the baby?”
You rolled your eyes. “Jungkook–I’m telling you, lots of people have sex while they’re pregnant.”
“Not like that,” he shrieks.
You giggled. “Don’t worry–the baby didn’t hear it, I promise.” You weren’t sure if that was true but you wanted to calm your husband down and not alarm him further.
You grab his face in your hands and look into his eyes. “The baby will be fine, okay? I called my OB this morning to confirm–she said that we can still have sex like we usually do–based on comfort level.”
You figured you might have to adjust your positions once your belly started to swell but you were a ways away from that.
You gave him a soft, lingering kiss. “Are you calm now?”
He nods then sighs. “Yeah. Sorry for panicking, bub. And…I’m sorry again for the way I acted last night.”
You wave him off. “It’s all in the past, Kook. I’m having your baby now,” you beamed.
He smiles back at you then looks down at your belly. He reaches out to rest his hand on it while you put your hands over his.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Jungkook. I love you,” you smiled.
He plants a kiss on your abdomen and smiles before looking up at you. “I love you both.”
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Taglist: @deepseavibez @bts-fic-recs-mess @mwitsmejk @jamlessstars @xhazmania @xiaoren001 [couldn't tag] @dianaxnyc @galaxyh0re
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yougotthatbilly · 3 years
Text
take care (m)
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→ member: johnny seo
→ genre: assistant!johnny | smut
→ word count: 15.9k (not surprised atp)
→ playlist: body talk x majid jordan, warm x majid jordan, BoRdErSz x zayn, moment x victoria monét
→ warnings: slowburn, indecisiveness, v  self-indulgent; unprofessional relations, big dick!johnny (ofc; don’t expect anything else), soft dom!johnny, begging (johnny’s a tease), subspace, oral; face-fucking, (and if you squint, ass eating), unprotected sex, squirting, praising, overstimulation, etc. 
↳ summary: your assistant just wants to take care of you
The heavy rain outside mocks you. You were supposed to be at your favorite bar across the street, but here you are sitting at your desk, staring out your window. And that’s how Johnny finds you after being granted entrance into your office.
Your arm is propped up on the arm of your seat, cheek in hand, lips pouted. Johnny does his best not to smile at the thought of you looking adorable as not to piss you off. He just sets your cup of tea down on the coaster on the corner of your desk. 
“How was the meeting?” he asks, taking a seat on the other side of your desk. 
You slowly spin to face him, looking at him with annoyed eyes as you take a sip of your tea. It’s the perfect temperature—a temperature Johnny took almost a month to perfect— and sweetness, and it instantly makes you feel a little better.
“Don’t worry,” you sigh. “Jiyoung didn’t get fired.” You have a three-strike policy; this incident is the second strike.
“Jaehyun,” Johnny corrects, grinning.
You tilt your head at his correction. “I care?”
Johnny just shakes his head, knowing you’re being petty because Jaehyun got his dates wrong and uploaded a post on a few new products a week earlier than the scheduled date, resulting in having to speed things up a little. It didn’t cause a major problem because you’re typically prepared for the worst case scenario, but you don’t like feeling rushed and when things don’t go as planned, so you were pissed. 
“What’s his punishment?”
“That’s between me and him,” you tell Johnny before taking another sip. Your lip curls in disgust at the suggestive look your assistant gives you. “Okay, let’s not be gross. He’s a child.”
“I didn’t know 23 was considered a child,” Johnny teases, mostly because the man of the hour has had a crush on you for the last year he’s been working for you and he’s been trying to get Johnny to talk him up to you. 
“I didn’t know you wanted to get fired in his place,” you say with a tight smile. Johnny decides to switch the subject.
“Mind me asking why you looked so sad when I walked in?”
You sigh once more, slouching in your seat.
“I wanted to go to the bar…” You point to the window beside you. Johnny follows your finger and watches the storm that hasn’t let up since it started half an hour ago. “That’s not happening anytime soon.”
You’ve either been in your office working nonstop or sleeping for the last week or so and you can feel a burnout creeping up. You were going to walk to the bar to get the fresh air you needed, enjoy a drink and your favorite wings because you deserve it—especially after the headache Jaehyun caused the moment you stepped foot into your office this morning—and indulge yourself. Now look at you, hardly munching on the fruit slices Johnny gave you this morning and almost finished with your tea.
“I’m sorry things aren’t going the way you planned today.” Johnny pouts. “On the bright side, you don’t have anything else on your schedule so if you wanted to go home within the next hour, you wouldn’t fall behind.”
“I’ll probably just take a nap on the futon once I’m done looking over the new plan again.” You shrug. 
Johnny wants to roll his eyes, but he catches himself. He’s sure you’ve already gone over it at least five times. There’s nothing he can do about it, though, so lifts himself out of his seat. “I’ll leave you to it. Just give me a call if something comes up or you change your mind.”
To both of your surprise, you actually head out and get yourself a candle you’d ran out of a week ago on the way home to treat yourself to a much needed bath filled with bubbles and essential oils. The scent of the candle reminds you of your assistant because it’s the scent he got you for your birthday, and it’s become your favorite. 
You send a picture of the candle at the end of your tub to Johnny, thanking him again for putting you onto greatness, as he worded it before when you first smelled it in front of him and your eyes practically rolled back. 
[18:14] John Suh: Are you actually relaxing???
You suck your teeth at his response, but you can’t blame him. He’s the only one that knows just how much you put in to get to the position you’re in, while you’re positive a lot of others just think it was handed to you by your mother instead of the school and endless hours work you went through and continue to go through. It’s very rare you give yourself the time to truly sit back and relax aside from when you’re on vacation. And even then, work never really stops. It just gets placed on the back burner for a little.
[18:16] you: Hush.
[18:17] John Suh: I’m just glad you’re taking care of yourself. Your dark circles have been snitching on you.
[18:17] you: Wow. You really wanna get fired today, huh?
[18:18] John Suh: Dark circles or not, you know you’re still beautiful. Now stop texting me and enjoy your bath!
When you find yourself smiling at your phone, you know you should do exactly what he says. Johnny’s always been a complimenter, though his usual kindness goes along the lines of telling you that you look nice. You’re no stranger to this specific compliment, you get it all the time on Instagram from your business partners and supporters. So why does this time settle differently within you?
[18:21] you: Nice save. 
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You need a video of one of your popular social media influencer ambassadors using and reviewing your newest skincare products tomorrow—due to Jaehyun’s mix-up—but that’s not happening. She didn’t record it before going on vacation and didn’t think to bring the products with her on her trip. While it isn’t her fault times have moved around, you’re annoyed she didn’t bring the products with her when she’s supposed to be using them every day because she’s one of your main advocates for your products being oily skin-friendly. You have the videos of the other models with their specific skin types, and this is your missing piece. 
The weather is nice today, so you take a much-needed break from electronics and go to the roof of the building. Your peace is quickly interrupted by the body of a six-foot male in front of you, standing in the way of the sunlight you were basking in.
“I know you hate him right now,” Johnny begins, skipping over greetings to get to the point of his disruption. “But Jaehyun has oily skin, he’s been using the products you gave him for like three weeks, he really likes them, and he has a good following on Instagram.”
You take the phone handed to you begrudgingly and look at Jaehyun’s page. Thirteen thousand followers and quality pictures. You’re not blind, Jaehyun is conventionally attractive and looks like a model in the photos and boomerangs. Something is missing, though. “Eh.”
“‘Eh?’” Johnny parrots, confused. He doesn’t know a better last-minute model for you than Jaehyun.
“Something’s missing,” you explain with a shrug. You absentmindedly tap the profile icon at the bottom of the screen and Johnny’s Instagram profile pops up. The two of you follow each other, so it’s not like you’ve never seen his pictures, but it’s been a while since you actually paid attention to detail. He has eighteen thousand followers and apparently uploads his pictures following a color theme. There are pictures of himself, random people, and nature in a strategic flow. When you select a video to watch, you’re sold on the lighting, exposure, and the way he captured the woman’s features. “Sit.”
Johnny does so without any questions. You gently grab his jaw and study his face closely. His skin is supple and dewy, the sun highlighting his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. Not that his skin was bad before he started using your products, but the texture and scarring have minimized quite a bit. Johnny doesn’t have the typical, bland model face your competitors love so much, especially with the slight stubble he’s got above his top lip and on his chin. 
“What’s your skin type, John?” 
“Oily,” he sighs, knowing what’s coming next. He was doing his job as your assistant, trying to make your life easier, but now he wishes he would’ve left this task to the social media department and stayed out of it. 
You thought so. “Will you do this for me instead?”
“Do I look like an influencer to you?” 
“Yes. I’ll double your next check and everything,” you promise him. “You actually have a personality and everything you post is quality. Women will love the eye candy and all types of men will take you seriously because you don’t have that annoying pristine, perfect look to you like Jaeyoung does.”
Johnny is here to fulfill your needs, so he knows you asking is really just you being polite. He doesn’t have much of a choice, especially with the lack of time you have. He is enjoying the warmth of your hand and the fact you referred to him as ‘eye candy,’ too. And who is he to say no to extra money?
“I’ll have it recorded and edited by midnight,” Johnny smiles, giving you the hope you need. 
“Ugh, you’re the best,” you sigh in relief, shaking his face side to side affectionately before letting him go to stand up. You feel much better now. “Send it directly to me.” 
Johnny stands up with you and leads the way, opening the door for you. “Yes, ma’am.”
Always true to his word, Johnny emails you two links at a quarter-till, with a message attached: 
Good evening, 
I edited two videos for you, one short enough for a regular post on the company’s page and the other that could be used for my IGTV for my followers. I hope these meet your expectations, but if there’s anything you need me to fix or redo, let me know and I’ll get right to it. 
Sincerely, 
John Suh
You get comfortable in your bed with your iPad and tap the first link. You make sure the brightness and volume are high enough to get the full effect, then press play. The quality of the film makes you assume he used a professional camera instead of his phone, and he gets a point for that. 
“Hey,” Johnny starts with an awkwardly endearing smile. “I know this is a little different than what I usually post, but I got scouted by the skincare goddess herself to be an ambassador for Surreal’s new line of skincare, Ethereal.”
You grin at the nickname and note that with him being in the bathroom, there’s no echo in his audio, and that gives him another point.
“I’ve been using the four of the five products I’m about to introduce to you everyday for around a month and before I do my skincare routine for you, I’ll show you what my skin looked like before I started using these products with dates so you don’t think I’m just trying to sell you on them just because she’s been writing my checks for the last year,” Johnny chuckles, then the screen shows a selfie Johnny took with the date of a month ago from today, some hyperpigmentation and small bumps dotting his cheek and jaw. 
Another point for including before and afters. You knew he’d meet your expectations without you having to say much.  
“I’ll get up close and personal at the end so you can really see the results,” Johnny winks into the camera, causing you to blink. 
You knew he’d have personality and that was one of the main reasons he was a great idea, and while in hindsight his actions are predictable, you shake your head. The fact that he’s actually charming makes you scoff, but you’re sure that the damn wink only worked on you right now because it’s almost midnight and you should be asleep right now. You won’t act like he hasn’t always been nice on the eyes, but he’s Johnny. 
You can’t deny that you do thoroughly enjoy the Johnny presented to you through the screen, though. 
“The first product is an oil-based cleanser because the SPF in this collection is oil-based as well,” Johnny explains, then proceeds to show the jar and small spatula that comes with it before he scooped some out, capturing the texture of the product well. 
And that’s how the rest of the video plays out, the unusually deep, gentle tone of Johnny’s voice explaining how well each product works for his oily and acne-prone skin, lulling you into a relaxed state against your headboard. He keeps things short and simple, the video just barely passing three minutes and as promised, his face comes a lot closer to the screen, showing the faded scarring and smooth texture of what used to be his problem areas. Johnny ends the video with a sweet smile and says goodbye. The shorter video is edited to where he’s hardly talking, mostly just demoing your products, just the way you like things to be on the company’s page.
You did great, John. Thanks again for doing this last minute. You can come in at 10 am tomorrow since I had you working overtime today. Rest well. 
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Johnny is at your desk with your morning cup of tea at eight in the morning, a bright smile on his face as he tells you good morning. 
You glare at him. “Why are you here?”
“Because it’s my job?” Johnny says, pretending like he doesn’t know what you’re referring to. You can read him well, though. You take the mug out of his hand before gesturing for him to take a seat in front of you. 
“You’re either being hard-headed as usual, or you’re anxious about your video being uploaded. Which is it?” 
And that wipes the bright smile off of his face. 
“I slept three hours last night,” he confesses. “I’m not used to this kind of exposure.”
You take a couple of sips of your tea and quietly observe him, thinking. 
“Would you prefer we didn’t post it, then?”
Your assistant looks at you as if you didn’t just speak one of the languages he’s fluent in. You just blink at him and continue drinking your beverage, waiting for him to either say yes or no in case you need to make other plans, again.
“You’d do that for me?” he finally says after a while of staring at you like you’re crazy. 
“Why wouldn’t I?” you ask slowly. “You’ve proven how far you’d go for me and I appreciate it, but I care about you as a person and anxiety is a bitch, so I wouldn’t want you to be panicking over Jaejoon’s mistake.”
The corner of Johnny’s lift curls at your continued pettiness, and maybe his heart does a thing at the fact that you care that much about him. It’s obvious to everyone that he is the closest to you out of all of your employees; being your assistant means you let your guard down a little with him. Along with the more serious side of your personality everyone else gets (especially recently), he sees your soft side. You’re not an overly strict boss, but Johnny gets to see you smile more and pout (he’d lose his job if he admitted to you how endearing your pout is to him). But even with the closer relationship the two of you have, Johnny would’ve never expected you to choose his stage fright over your baby; your company.
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” Johnny declines with a shake of his head. “I’ll be okay, I promise. Thank you for considering my feelings, though.”
You shrug, not about to press him on the issue. “Alright. I need you to post the IGTV at 2 pm and tag our page in an appropriate caption. I’d suggest you turn your notifications off for a while because as soon as you post it, it’s getting posted to our story then I’m sure you’re gonna get flooded with DM’s.”
“Flooded?’” Johnny asks, head tilted. “I mean, all I’ll have to do is copy and paste the same message answering any questions they might have about the products. Easy.”
You’re the one to look at him like he’s stupid this time. You set your mug down, lean back in your swivel chair, and clasp your hands over your stomach. “You can’t be that dense.”
“‘Dense?’” he asks.
“Are you a parrot?” you tsk. “But yes, dense. You know good and well most of the messages will have nothing to do with my products and everything to do with you.”
Johnny has the audacity to still be confused after your explanation. 
“John, you realize you’re a good-looking guy with a likable personality, right?” 
It’s not that he doesn’t know that. Johnny’s always been a pretty confident guy, with both his looks and personality. His confusion doesn’t stem from being blind or too humble. It’s the fact you of all people are telling him this right now. 
“You think so?” he prompts, just to see how many compliments he can get out of you. This is a rare occasion.
“When you’re not being annoyingly happy-go-lucky and chill out, yes.” You reply. And now he’s pouting. That’s what he gets.
“I thought my cheerfulness brought joy to your days,” Johnny says with a dramatic hand on his heart, offended.
“What brings me joy is everything running smoothly and everyone doing their job,” you correct. He isn’t wrong, but you decide not to stroke his ego any more than you already have. And you’ve already said too much. “With that being said, you do everything I ask of you, and that brings me so much joy. You’re the perfect assistant, so don’t cry.”
“Is this your way of telling me to calm down?”
Your iPad buzzes against the wood of your desk and when you peek at it, you see it’s an email from Jaehyun with the subject: Today’s upload schedule.
“This is my way of telling you to get to work, honey.”
Johnny often finds himself slowly backing out of your office with his hands up in surrender, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He loves the distinct differences between the two of you. He figures it’s why you work so well together and why he’s held this job position for over a year in comparison to the two assistants before him that both got fired before the six-month mark. Johnny’s also positive that you love his excessively positive nature (as Jaehyun has described Johnny’s personality before) somewhere deep down and that he brightens your day after dealing with idiots like Jaehyun. 
When your assistant is out of sight, you grab your iPad, respond to Jaehyun’s email, and find yourself rewatching today’s scheduled video. Maybe more than once. 
The video is up at 2 pm sharp and Johnny does as advised, turning his Instagram notifications off immediately. He even goes as far as taking his phone off of vibrate so he isn’t aware of any other notifications until he decides to look at his phone again. He’s got things to organize anyway, so the work he has to do takes his mind off of any anxiety within him. 
That is until you appear at the doorway of his office an hour later. This is a rare occurrence, so Johnny can’t be blamed for staring at you, and in the process, he appreciates the very fitted pantsuit you’re wearing. You took off the blazer sometime in between when Johnny left your office hours ago and now, and he thinks that the blush pink blouse compliments your complexion and red lips very well. But of course it does. Everything you wear compliments everything about you perfectly. 
Just one of the many observations Johnny has made in the past year.
“How do you feel?” you ask him. Your voice is always so calm and collected, even when you’re ripping someone to shreds because of idiocy. Johnny admittedly admires that about you.
“I’ve done everything under the sun to avoid my phone,” Johnny confesses with a weak laugh.
You nod. “Well, just know that I’ve had multiple companies and modeling agencies ask why I’ve been hiding you. So don’t be surprised if you have job opportunities waiting for you.” 
“Wow… this means I can finally quit,” Johnny hardly whispers with a victorious fist pump.
“I wish the hell you would,” you deadpan, breaking Johnny’s act and causing him to laugh loudly at the lack of expression paired with your response. “You’re mine unless there’s a tragic accident, God forbid, or you’re moving up in the ranks.”
“Promise?” 
“Promise,” you confirm, sending him a wink before turning on your heel and strutting back to your own office. Johnny licks his lips at the sight of the natural sway of your hips before shaking his head and getting back to working on the excel sheet staring at him.
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“How is it that you all have the skills and training for the very simple tasks I ask you to complete, yet lack common sense and proper work ethic?” 
Everyone in the room, excluding Johnny, just looks up at you from their seats, pitiful expressions on their faces. Their eyes follow you as you slowly walk to the other side of the room. You’re trying to stay calm and be professional, so pacing around the room is your best bet. 
To Johnny, you look like you’re on a runway in slow motion, modeling the slim-fitting pencil skirt and red bottoms you’re adorning. Though still attentive to every word coming out of your mouth, Johnny lets himself get lost in each step you take because he’s not the one getting chewed out. 
Mark, one of the newest additions to the marketing department, leans into Johnny’s side to whisper into his ear. “How have you managed to not fuck up and be on the receiving end of her talks yet?”
You don’t hear anything, but you see whispering happening, and now is not the time for side conversations. Johnny doesn’t even have the chance to turn to Mark or tell him to shut up until the end of the meeting before you’re speaking again.
“Mark Lee,” you call as you make your way towards him, causing him to sit up straight. “Is there something you’d like to say?”
“No, ma’am,” he responds nervously. Johnny internally shakes his head at Mark not being able to think quickly and lie. “My apologies.”
“Is there anything anyone wants to say or am I just a narcissist who loves talking to hear my lovely voice? Should I sing?” you ask, standing next to Johnny at the end of the conference table, hand on your hip. “Y’all want a performance?”
Johnny bites the inside of his cheek to refrain from laughing. Your sarcasm only intensifies the unsettled looks on everyone’s face and they all side-eye Jungwoo, their savior from the last time they got chewed out as a whole. Jungwoo raises his hand before saying, “There’s nothing we can say to excuse our actions—or lack thereof, but we will get right on it and do our jobs correctly this time. You won’t have to repeat yourself again.”
Johnny is impressed at how quickly your features soften. The ready-to-fire-someone look melts away as you nod at Jungwoo’s promise. You do have a bit of a soft spot for the latter, though, so it makes sense. 
“I’ll take your word for it. You’re dismissed,” you announce, waving everyone off. 
The room is empty, save for you and your assistant, in mere seconds. 
“You’re going to give them nightmares,” Johnny chuckles, gathering your belongings before opening the door for you to exit the conference room. He laughs once more at your responding yawn.
“How? That was me on my best behavior,” you retort, your heels clicking loudly as you walk to the elevator. “And what was Lee whispering about?”
“Your employees are just amazed that I’ve kept you satisfied for so long.”
You walk into the elevator once the doors slide open and lean against the mirrored wall, arms crossed. Your eyes are squinted as you give Johnny a once over. He has done everything right since he completed his training. “You think you can keep me satisfied?” 
There’s a challenging tone in your voice that causes Johnny to lick his lips. “I’d never disappoint you.”
Your response is a nod of your head paired with a drawn-out hum, and then you walk out of the elevator to your office once you hit your floor, walking ahead of Johnny without another word. You laugh at yourself when you replay the short conversation in your mind at the feeling you got in your gut at his response. And then you’re scoffing because, once again, it’s Johnny.
Johnny… Over six feet, amicable, charming, handsome as all hell Johnny. The scene of him licking his lips and saying those four words in that promising, deep voice in the elevator flashes through your mind once you’re seated at your desk. Your fingernail taps against the wood as you roll your lips together, stuck in your head. The ironic conclusion you come to before getting back to work is that you’re working way too much and just lacking male attention because there’s no other plausible reason for your goofy-ass assistant to have been on your mind so much for the last couple of days. 
“Really?” Johnny asks when he walks in and sees you slumped over your desk.
Your eyes flutter open at his voice.
“I was just resting my eyes” you yawn, waving him off. 
“What work is there possibly left for you to do at this point?” The products go on the market tomorrow, meaning all the work that had to be done in preparation for the launch was completed before everyone left today (the marketing department got their shit together quickly because they know about your policy and how unforgiving you are when the deadline is right around the corner). The only thing left for your marketing team to do tomorrow is look over everything once more and then you’re free to sit back and wait for customers to buy the new products and idly watch over social media if you really wanted to. It frustrates Johnny that you always find something extra to do. 
“I was doing some last minute, um”— another yawn —“touches on the-”
“Well, that’s enough,” Johnny interrupts your explanation, walking around to your side of the desk and plucking the pen out of your hand.
 You just nod and lean back in your ridiculously big swivel chair, blinking up at him slowly, because he’s right. There’s literally nothing else for you to do and you have the most full coverage concealer under your eyes; you need to rest. 
“Am I driving you home tonight?” He asks as he packs your belongings into the massive purse on the box by your feet then places it on your desk so he doesn’t have to bend back down to retrieve it.
“Yeah, I don’t feel like moving,” you mumble, thankful you spent so much money on the chair you’re oh-so comfortable in. 
Johnny puts his hands out for you to grab, and once you do so, he pulls you up. You groan and lean forward into him to catch your balance after not being on your feet for many hours, but then Johnny’s hand on firm on the middle of your lower back, and the pressure makes you stay. He’s just helping you steady yourself, a position you’ve been in once or twice before because you like to push your limits (says both your therapist and your assistant), but he smells good and he’s warm; his presence is comforting. It always has been, which is why he’s made the perfect assistant for you. 
“Are you okay?” he asks, looking down at the top of your head that simply nods in response.
“Think I pushed my limit,” you admit, much to your assistant’s surprise. It’s not that you’re prideful, but you don’t exactly like showing weakness, especially in front of your employees.
Though tempted to just let you rest your head on his chest because he doesn’t mind the proximity at all and knows you’re somehow comfortable, Johnny makes sure you’re standing steadily by yourself so he can drape your coat over your shoulders. He grabs your purse and wraps an arm around your waist then guides you out of your office, all the way to the parking garage, saying goodbye to the confused cleaning staff on his way out. 
He presses the button on the handle of the passenger side’s door to unlock it, opens the door, then fits you inside of his car. Johnny leans over your body to buckle your seat belt, and when he’s back away, he catches you looking at him with a look he can’t quite decipher. 
“What’s up?”
You shake your head and blink slowly. “I just really appreciate you, John.”
Johnny just nods to save face and closes the door before making his way to the driver’s seat. He’s not quite sure how to feel or respond to the soft-spoken, sleepy side of you since it’s been months since the one other time you’ve been in a similar situation, and he wasn’t as smitten as he is now. 
You’re fighting your sleep because even though you trust Johnny, you want to be as aware during this trip to your house. It’s a hard feat, though. His car is big and comfortable and the hum of the engine is trying to lull you into a deep sleep. 
Johnny looks over at you after getting on the main road and notices your internal fight. 
“You can fall asleep, you know.”
“You might take my organs.” 
“I would’ve done that a long time ago if I wanted to,” Johnny humors you. His response brings a small smile to your face, and that keeps a smile on his own. 
“You have a really pretty smile, John.”
“Thank you,” Johnny says, figuring it’s just your exhaustion talking. 
“I’m almost jealous of how pretty your lips are,” you sigh, mouth not filtering your thoughts at this point of exhaustion (you’ve gotten 10 hours of sleep in the last week, but no one, especially not Johnny, needs to know that). You don’t care enough to try to “correct” yourself because the pretty curl of his lips gets even deeper.
“Really?” Johnny asks, trying his luck again because he’s sure tonight isn’t like the other day in your office. “You think my lips are pretty?”
You hum and cuddle into his seat even more. After staring at his profile a while longer, you tell him, “I think you’re pretty.”
That makes him laugh again, taken aback at the string of compliments coming out of your mouth towards him of all people. It’s not that you’re mean or don’t applaud him for his great work, but this is a very different side of you that he’s seeing. He likes it.
“That’s a first, but I’ll take it,” he says, taking a moment to look at you again before focusing on the road again. “Thank you.”
“Are you used to hearing ‘handsome?’ ‘Fine?’ ‘Sexy?’” You notice how Johnny’s brows lift. “Too far?”
He shakes his head. “No, you’re good. I like you when you’re nice.”
“You like me regardless,” you say with a sassy scoff, pretending to flip your hair even though it’s slicked back in a low bun, the same as every workday.
Johnny nods slowly, contemplating if he should humor you or just laugh you off. It literally takes him 0.5 seconds to go with the former option because he’s been waiting for the day the two of you step out of professional talk and get into something more personal, specifically between the two of you. “You got me there. I mean, what isn’t there to like?”
Your eyes squint as you analyze him and process his words. There’s a subtle but still very noticeable shift in the air after his question, and while you’re sure it’s your fault for letting your exhaustion let you feel comfortable enough to open your mouth and start spewing out nice things to your assistant, his response is enough to keep it up. It also doesn't help that this is a far more intimate setting than work. 
“Be careful, you keep saying things like that and I’ll think you have a crush on me,” you tease him, chuckling at the snort he responds with. 
Before Johnny snitches on himself, he flips the script. “Says the one staring at my lips long enough to deem them ‘pretty’ and calling me pretty, of all things.” 
“Well,” you start as your gaze goes right back to his mouth at the mention of it. “It would be unprofessional of me to tell you that I think you’re fine as hell, so,” you shrug.
You and Johnny have always had a bit of banter between the two of you, and while this topic isn’t something that’s been covered before, it’s hard to really care when you feel comfortable enough to cross that line right now. If he hadn’t been playing along, you wouldn’t have said anything more than the simple compliment from earlier, but with the reciprocity, the logical voice within gets pushed away. Exhaustion isn’t much of an excuse at this point because that high from tiredness has passed. 
The timing of the traffic light turning red is a little too perfect. Johnny takes the opportunity to look at you again, and something lights up in his chest when he catches how your eyes travel up from his mouth to look into his own eyes at his attention. 
“It would be unprofessional,” he agrees with another nod of his head. “But I can’t say the feeling isn’t mutual.”
You hum and nod. “Good to know.”
“You must not be sleeping well for you to be throwing out compliments like that.” Johnny leans onto the middle counsel.
“I’m not saying anything I haven’t thought of for a while.” You tell him after a beat, choosing to reply honestly since you’re already here. Johnny quirks a brow to prompt you to elaborate, and you do so, mirroring his position and propping your chin in your hand. His face is a lot closer now, but you keep your eyes on his own orbs to avoid losing focus. “I hired you because of your experience and skill set, but I knew it wouldn’t hurt to have some eye-candy around me. Pretty privilege and all,” you wave a nonchalant hand. “You were perfect until you opened your mouth.”
“You can never be nice to me for long, can you?” he snorts.
“You’re perfect tonight, though,” you add on, specifically for the quirk of Johnny’s mouth that comes from the praise. Yeah, you failed the challenge. 
“How so?” Johnny questions, quickly checking to see if the light has changed yet. It hasn’t, and for once in his life he’s grateful for a long light. He feels good about where this conversation could possibly get him after a year of silently admiring you, so good that he not-so-subtly gets even closer, definitely in your bubble, but nothing too crazy.
“You’re calm and collected and taking care of me,” you admit. The silent deep breath you take to calm yourself grants you access to the scent of Johnny’s cologne again, and your mind is so close to deciding that logic is unnecessary. A tiny voice in the back of your mind has been trying to get your attention and steer you in the opposite direction of the one you’ve decided to take, with how you tilt your head up to get just a little closer to him.
“You like being taken care of?”
“I love it,” you confess, and Johnny takes the chance to tuck a stray hair behind your ear as he hums, content with your response. Definitely an excuse to test the waters and see how far he can go and how willing you are to really cross this line. You turn your face into his hand so he cups your jaw, but then there’s a horn sounding behind you because the light is green, and Johnny begrudgingly has to pay attention to the road. You blink, the trance you found yourself in with him so close but so far away dissipating, the situation becoming a lot more real now that he’s out of your space. You slump back into your seat and look out of the window, that voice becoming louder and grounding you as you take another deep breath. “But allowing myself to be vulnerable with someone like that? Yikes.”
He knows your defense mechanism is trying to kick in, but he’s not having it.
“Aside from me?” 
You hum. “Not quite…” 
You set yourself up. From that moment in the elevator to now, you’ve been digging your own grave, and Johnny has done nothing but assist you, encourage you to dig deeper. You’re not sleepy anymore, there’s no more foggy brain from earlier when he found you asleep in the office. Just desire you’ve done a grand job of ignoring up until the last few days. But unfortunately, you have to remind yourself you’ve been ignoring it for a reason.
Your assistant almost doesn’t say anything because he loves his job and you clearly switched the direction of the conversation for a reason, but so much (yet so little) has already been said during your time in the car and you’ve already said enough to get the gears in his head turning. 
“So you mean a different type of care?”Johnny asks. He pulls into your driveway and parks. He wants to get back to the space the two of you were at when stopped at that light, but you’re already unbuckling your seat belt and grabbing your purse, signifying that the moment is long gone. That doesn’t stop him from trying, though. “Do you need me to walk you in?”
“I think I’ve got it now, thanks.” You need to get inside and get some sleep. Are you running right now? Of course. You’re a responsible person and the most responsible thing for you to do as the woman that signs his paychecks, is to get the fuck away from him before he persuades you, because you both know it’s possible.
“Let me rephrase that:” he licks his pretty lips and your fist balls up around your purse’s straps. “Do you want me to walk you in? I know you didn’t need me to do most of what I’ve done tonight, but you let me because you wanted me to.” His ability to read you so well is both a blessing and a curse. “Now would you like for me to continue taking care of you tonight or not?” 
You do. You absolutely do. You’re tempted to say yes in the case you don’t end up alone tonight, but you know it’s not a good idea. And you’re sure the atmosphere of this car ride will disappear by the time you wake up. At least that’s what you tell yourself because you know, ethics.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you tell Johnny, opening the door and stepping out. “Thanks for the ride. Drive safe.”
Johnny watches you walk up to your door, unlock it, then disappear into your house. He lets out a deep sigh before backing out of your driveway and driving home.
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Tea, fruit slices, and avocado toast are set down in front of you the moment you walk behind your desk. 
“Good morning,” Johnny greets you calmly. “Your eleven o’clock meeting has been pushed back thirty minutes, so I’d suggest using the opportunity to get out of the building and get some fresh air. You know, get away from electronics and people to recharge.”
That’s exactly what you’ll do. You’re going to be monitoring the Instagram engagement and website sales for a while, even though you pay people to be on top of numbers, so a break will definitely be needed. 
“I love your brain, you know that?” you ask, looking up at him once your jacket and bag are off of your body, meeting his eye. The corner of Johnny’s mouth twitches. 
“I told you I’d never disappoint you.”
“And I’m holding you to that.” You ignore the fact that there’s definitely another meaning behind his words. You can’t say the tension that last night’s conversation produced has gone away completely, but it’s weak enough for you to ignore it and stick to the amicable atmosphere the two of you have built for the last year plus.
“Would it be alright if I accompanied you during your walk?” Johnny prompts after a moment of him just standing there, pursing his lips together to refrain himself from grinning at you. “There’s something I’d like to run by you because I trust your opinion as my boss and my friend.”
“We’re friends?” you joke, settling into your seat.
“Last time I checked,” he responds, unfazed. “We could be even closer if you let yourself be vulnerable with me.” 
And there it is.
“John,” you say after a brief pause. He’s got his hands in his pockets, face mostly void of emotion. Johnny doesn’t want things to go back to normal, and he’s decided to let you know in the most subtle, yet obvious way. Why ignore the feeling when it’s clearly mutual? 
“Yes, boss?”
“You can leave now.”
The grin on the male’s face falters. He examines you to see just how serious you are, and he knows this isn’t one of your playful banter moments. He tries to call your name, either to ease the situation and tell you it was just a bad joke or to apologize, but you just remove your attention from him and get on your iPad. 
And when he’s out of the room, the door closed behind him, you let out a frustrated sigh. Up until you fell asleep, if you weren’t thinking about your launch, you were thinking about him. If you weren’t thinking about the numbers from your last launch and the possibility of exceeding them, you were thinking of the way you felt and the words he said while you were in that intimate bubble before the horn honked at him. You had to take a couple melatonin gummies to shut your mind up and knock out. The sleep was amazing, the best you’d had in a while, but then when you were conscious again, Johnny was back.
You could have done without stepping into uncharted territory last night. To him, it may not seem as deep as you’re making it out to be, but there’s too much on the line for you. Your professionalism. Your pride. Your job, quite possibly. His job. You could pay him off if you decided to fire him, but you don’t want to deal with bribes making you feel like a shitty person. You don’t want a new assistant. You want Johnny.
At that very last thought, you pick up the phone and call Jaehyun to have him run the plan by you one more time. He thinks it’s because of his fuck up from before, and you just let him think that. 
Thankfully, Johnny is out of your way until later in the night. He didn’t try to accompany you on your walk, but he has no choice but to be here at the company outing taking place to celebrate your products selling out within 4 hours. 
All shots are on you, so your employees are taking advantage of this, recording  as everyone clinks their shot glasses together and downs the painful alcohol down. You’re two shots in and you mentally note that three is your limit for tonight. Maybe four. You’re already a bit of a lightweight, and there’s no way in hell you’re going to make a fool of yourself in front of your employees. Regardless, you’re having a pretty good time. As a gift, your best friend rented out the bar, so it’s empty save for your large group, and Joohyun’s presence is a godsend. She’s being friendly enough to your employees and for the most part she hasn’t left your side, being the comfort she doesn’t realize you need. 
“Congrats again, babe,” she says excitedly to you, pushing another shot in front of you as she scoots into the seat next to you. “Can we take that vacation in Bora Bora now that you’re free and even richer?” Her teasing smile makes you crack one of your own and sigh.
“You know that trip is for August. Be patient, Bae.”
She rolls her eyes but her expression doesn’t falter. Her gaze wanders a bit as she sips from her mixed drink and then she’s looking at you expectantly. You raise a brow to prompt her.
“How is it that all of your employees are hot as fuck?” she asks bluntly. “Even the women.”
You take a glance around like you don’t remember what everyone looks like. “I mean, I guess.”
“Especially a certain assistant.”
“Go for it,” you tell her, nodding in his direction. The said male is at the bar ordering something with his arm draped over Jaehyun’s shoulders, the two of them laughing about whatever the latter just said. 
“You know that’s not why I said that,” Joohyun scoffs, swatting at your arm. You may have mentioned to her a while ago that your assistant is very nice on the eyes and you sometimes enjoy watching him as he does his job. “Plus, Jaehyun’s more my type.”
You shrug. “I’m sure they’d be down for a threesome.”
Your best friend hits you once again. “What’s with your mood? You’re not acting like someone who just sold out in only a few hours.” 
Before she decided to bring a certain assistant up, you were doing pretty well. You’d been able to not look at him for too long or even have to speak to him much aside from a greeting and his congratulations before he was by Jaehyun’s side and Joohyun was by yours. But now, with him being mentioned, your eyes are having a hard time pulling away from his figure. His tie is loosened and the top few buttons of his shirt are undone. His sleeves are rolled up right under his elbows and show off the tattoo on his arm. 
You rip your eyes off of him and down your shot. Yeah, you’re thinking four.
Joohyun’s incredulous laugh brings your attention back to her. “You didn’t.”
“What?”
She leans into your side to whisper, “You’re in a mood because of Johnny?”
You side-eye her because you don’t like how quickly she read you, and her smile grows wide. 
“Oh, my—you slept with Johnny?!” she continues to whisper-yell.
“No,” you hiss. “I did not. But I could have and that’s the issue.”
“Not seeing the issue?” She’s always been the little devil on your left shoulder. “The only reason I brought him up is because I’ve noticed how often you have his attention when you’re not even in the same area. And I know the difference between a look of concern and a look of want. He’s got a good ratio of both going on.”
“Okay, Miss Couple’s Therapist,” you mutter. “You ever heard of conflict of interest?”
And that shuts her up. Only for a few seconds, though.
“All I’m saying is I know you’ve thought about it… and you’re probably thinking about it now,” she giggles, making it hard for you to keep glaring at her. “I’m just trying to help you understand that it wouldn’t be a bad thing if there is a mutual understanding between the two of you on what flies and what cannot and shall not happen regarding the matter. You’re both consenting adults and it’s obvious he’d be on his knees for you with the snap of a finger.”
You decide against telling her about last night’s situation nor do you let her know you’re considering her words. That you’ve been considering the whole thing for days. 
You change the subject instead, asking her about how her latest trip overseas went.
It lasts for only so long when Johnny and Jaehyun make their way over to your table. 
They greet the two of you and you give a nod, choosing now to be the perfect time to check your notifications, while Joohyun says, “Hey guys.”
“Why are you checking your phone when you should be enjoying your time?” Johnny asks right by your ear, his voice lacking excitement but instead low enough to almost make your thumb falter as you scroll. “Get off your phone and celebrate, please?”
You make the mistake of looking up. He’s too close to your face to use the music playing through the speakers in the bar as an excuse. His eyes don’t have their usual playful glint in them. They look down at you with a purpose, and you’re kind of embarrassed at how fast you comply with his request. You drop the device into your purse and zip it up for extra measures.
“Thank you,” he smiles. “I got this for you two, by the way.”
Johnny slides a plate of your favorite wings on the table.
“Aw thank you, Johnny,” Joohyun coos, shooting you an annoyingly smug glance. “Are you gonna sit with us?”
“Is that okay with you, boss?” Jaehyun asks after sharing a look with his friend.
“Have at it,” you smile tightly, gesturing to the seats across from you. While they make themselves comfortable, you steal your best friend’s shot and actively ignore the way she looks at you from the corner of her eye.
Joohyun and Jaehyun fall into conversation easily after she compliments the watch he’s wearing. You nibble on some celery, actively ignoring how Johnny’s still too close. He subtly squeezes your knee to get your attention, and when he’s got it, he tilts his head in the direction of the bar. 
“I drank enough,” you tell him with a shake of your head.
“It’s not about a drink. I would like to speak to you alone, please,” Johnny explains in a whisper. A tiny voice in your mind says hell no because of what Joohyun has put in your head, but the rational voice reminds you that he is your assistant and you can’t avoid him forever. 
You tell your best friend that you’re gonna get a drink and that you’ll be back, and when she notices Johnny getting up with you she nods with a whisper of a smirk on her lips all without breaking the conversation she’s having. 
“What’s up?” you ask once seated on a barstool, at least a few seats away from everyone else.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I was trying to make light of the situation and I took it too far. As for last night, it was wrong of me to make a proposition like, so I want to apologize for that, as well.”
You nod as he speaks, letting his words process in your brain. 
“I spoke out of line last night and gave you an opening, so that part was on me. I apologize and I hope we can move forward from it. Thank you for your apology.” You try to get up and make your way back to your table quickly, but Johnny gently grabs your hand until he knows you’ll stay in your seat. 
For a moment he wanted to just apologize so you can stop being distant with him and he can stop purposely avoiding you for your space, but your response rubs him the wrong way and now he doesn’t really want to drop it. He wants to talk about it because the topic clearly came up for a reason last night and he’s tired of denying how he feels towards you, especially now that he knows he’s not alone after a while of thinking there was no way in hell his little crush would even get him this far. 
“Can you not shut me out right now?”
You really don’t like his ability to see through you.
“I accepted your apology and gave you the one you deserved... how am I shutting you out?” you bullshit him anyway.
“I’m not gonna pretend that what happened last night didn’t happen. I can’t,” Johnny tells you honestly. “Can I speak to you as a friend instead of your employee for a moment?”
“I guess,” you shrug.
“As your friend, what I say cannot be held against me as your assistant.”
“Whatever, John. Go ahead.” 
“I want you,” he confesses, and there’s really no going back from here. “I am very attracted to you and when you spoke about wanting to be vulnerable and taken care of last night it only made me want you more. And if there’s anyone you can let your guard down with and that will take great care of you, it’s me, and you know this.”
All you can do is stare at him for a while. If you hadn’t had that conversation with Joohyun a while ago you would not still be in this seat, letting him know you’re truly considering his proposition. The dip in your gut at his confession confirms your feelings, but your brain and your body conflict. 
Can you separate business from pleasure in this instance? 
If you allow your desires to become reality and it’s nothing like what you imagined, you’d never be able to look at him the same, no matter how good he is at his job. You’d either have to fire him or become so distant he’d want to quit. Would a bribe really have to be offered for the well-being of your precious company? The thought alone rubs you the wrong way.
But if you’re being honest with yourself, you just know it wouldn’t be a bad experience because it’s Johnny. He’s calculated and good at anything that gets thrown at him. You truly believe him when he says he’d never disappoint you. But how will you go about seeing him five days a week without seeing him in a different light? You’re professional but there would definitely be a change in your dynamic.
“I adore you as my assistant, John,” you finally speak up after too long. “And I do consider you a friend. I just don’t want to compromise our relationship over lust.”
“It’s not just lust, though,” Johnny states. “I’m not in love with you or anything but I care about you and want to take care of you the way we both know you need and deserve.”
He’s saying all of the right things and it’s almost as if the universe is rubbing him in your face. Your control is slipping and you don’t like it. You would love to be taken care of. You crave it. Running a business right before the age of thirty comes with so much stress and bullshit and you haven’t been taken care of in years, at least not properly. You’re content with being single because you give yourself everything you need and you love having your own space, but it does get lonely sometimes. And you can’t do everything yourself, at least not to the extent you need. Your eyes scan down from his face to his hands and your resolve gets a little weaker. 
“I’m not going to push you, okay? I just had to let you know that I’m here to help you in many more ways than in the office and that if anything were to ever happen, my lips are sealed. I’d even sign a damn contract if that meant I could have you for just one whole day.”
“A whole day?” you ask before you can stop your curiosity from being known. 
“I can’t elaborate on that. I can talk to you as a friend all I want but I know that too much detail can fuck up my job if you’re not down and I’m perfectly content with my job right now.”
He’s so vague, yet he’s said just the right amount. It’s easy to imagine what exactly could be in store if you release your inhibitions and just agree, but it’s not that easy. And Johnny understands that.
“Just think about it, alright?” He requests, and you nod slowly. “What drink would you like?”
“I’ve already had four shots—”
“No one said it had to be alcoholic,” Johnny laughs. 
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“Hello?” Johnny’s morning voice grumbles. 
“Okay.”
It’s quiet on the other end of the line for a while as Johnny wakes up and decodes your single word. When he understands, his smile can be heard through his next words.
“Would you prefer I go to you or you come here?”
“I’ll go to you.”
“How does noon sound?”
“Good,” you nod, even though he can’t see the movement.
“Alright. There’s a couple of questions I have before you come over, though,” he tells you, his voice suddenly a lot more serious than it was before.
“Okay, go ahead,” you sigh, curling into a ball on your sofa. 
“Do you trust me?”
“I do.” Of course you trust him. Johnny smiles at how quick your answer. “You know that.”
“Trusting me with your work and trusting me with your mind and body are completely different things,” he tells you matter-of-factly. “But yes, I did know. I just needed to ask.”
“I clearly trust you enough to be hours away from going to your place without thinking you’re gonna exploit or blackmail me.”
“And I appreciate it. As I said, I’ll sign a contract if you’re still in your head about it.” At the dismissive response you give him, he continues with his questions. “We’re not gonna be weird about this before, during, and especially after everything, right?”
“No, I won’t be weird,” you chuckle, knowing his ‘we’ translates to ‘you.’ “It would’ve took me way longer to give you an answer if I was still gonna be weird or standoffish.”
“What made you change your mind so quickly?”
You blink at the tree on the other side of your window blankly. It took less than a day to give him a response, and while he may have popped up in your dream last night, Joohyun was right. You want him and he’s not shy about letting you know how much he wants you in return, so why play this game of tiptoeing and faux unclarity?
“You’re asking too many questions now,” you deadpan. “I’ll see you later.”
The last thing you hear before you hang up is Johnny laughing quietly to himself, sounding endeared.
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You’ve always been punctual, so when you knock on his door, it’s twelve on the dot. And Johnny was expecting this, with it only taking him a couple of seconds to unlock and open the door for you. 
“Hey,” he greets you with a smile and you immediately take in his appearance, having never been around Johnny in anything but formal wear. You take in how he looks in the comfort of his own home, his brown hair is parted down the middle in comparison to how he always has it pushed back, and his fitted white tee shirt and joggers are a stark difference from the button-downs and slacks he usually adorns around you. He looks good either way, you note. 
“Hey.” 
You walk past him into his home and take your shoes off, and while pleasantries are exchanged, it’s Johnny’s turn to give you elevator eyes. The grey color of your athletic wear draws attention to the curve of your ass and hips. Your hair isn’t in its signature style, but out and flowing about freely. When you turn back around to face him he notices you don’t have your typical red lipstick on, just a clear sheen covering your lips. He didn’t think you could look any better, but here he is, being proven wrong. 
You’re guided down a hallway and into his room, and the first thing you notice is a cute stuffed animal on his dresser. One you remember buying him for his birthday because that was his only request, seeing that it was limited edition.
“I still can’t believe you wanted this of all things,” you laugh fondly, picking it up and examining it.
“You gave me a budget and this fit in it,” Johnny shrugs, coming up behind you. His chest molds into your back naturally, causing you to look up from the plushie and up at him through the mirror in front of you. “There was no way in hell I was coming out of pocket for that myself when you were willing to spend big bucks on me.”
You relax into his chest, the vibration against your back a very pleasant feeling. “Touché.”
The last few days of building sexual frustration did nothing to prepare you for the suffocating blanket of tension that envelopes you once Johnny lifts your head up to the side and presses one of the gentlest kisses to your lips. Followed by another chaste one, and another until you find yourself chasing his lips.
“Feel free to bite into it when it becomes too much for you,” Johnny graciously offers in a whisper that tickles your lips.
You scoff, amused by his confidence. 
“I’m a grown ass woman,” you remind him. “I promise you there’s nothing I couldn’t handle.”
“And I’m gonna hold you to that.” He nods, using your own words against you. You’re turned around by his hands on your hips until you’re facing him. A moment of silent eye contact translate to him challenging you before his pretty, soft lips slowly slide in time with yours. 
The longer he kisses you, the more your body melts into his. You find yourself being pulled forward, him walking backwards. The kiss interrupted when he sits down at the foot of his bed, but then you’re pulled onto his lap, straddling him to resume it. A hand on the side of his face prompts him to deepen the kiss, and your mouth instantly opens when you feel his tongue brush against your bottom lip, the wet muscle minty when it touches your own and you curl yours around it to get an even better taste. 
Your hands find his hair as his own grip your ass, pulling a muffled whimper out of you. And then you’re flipped onto your back, legs falling apart to give Johnny freedom to stand. He swiftly takes his shirt off and then he’s interrupted by your palms glide up his abdomen. You’ve never felt small around practically anyone in your adult years, but with how he hovers over you, you feel tiny. You know he and Jaehyun have been going to the gym frequently, but at this angle, you can really appreciate just how big and broad he is.
Originally, you figured you’d give him the reign to do whatever he wanted and you’d bask in being a pillow princess for once in your life, but in the position you’ve found yourself in, with his print in your face, you drag your hands back south and tug his waistband down. 
Johnny just watches you silently until he understands you’re doing more than just assisting him with stripping. Your hand grabs hold of his semi (your mouth waters at how hung he is and you briefly wonder how you never noticed before), his sweatpants forgotten halfway down his thighs. The way your eyes have tunnel vision and you lick your lips tells him your plan. “You wanna suck my dick?” he asks anyway, making sure he accessed this correctly. 
Your eyes fly up to meet his gaze. “Yeah. You want me to?”
“You think I’d ever say no to you?”
His response goes straight in between your legs, so you focus your attention back on his dick, which has grown some during the time of your small interaction, and you might be a little more excited about this than you initially thought you’d be. 
You let spit fall from your mouth onto his tip, then spread it down with your hand. You flick your wrist up and down a few times and lean forward, licking a broad stripe up his shaft. At the deep exhale he releases, you glance up at him through your lashes, and the sight of him with his jaw tightened in anticipation makes you want to give him so much more, so you suck the tip into your mouth. 
Fingers move your hair behind your ear for you and if you still had any inhibitions at this point, they’re lost now. Your head bobs back and forth slowly as you continue to look him in his eyes; it’s hard to look anywhere else when you’ve never been looked at so intensely in this position. You gather spit on the tip of your tongue and spread it across his head, circling the wet muscle around it until he hums and you need to feel the weight of him back inside. 
“Tap my leg, okay?”
You furrow your brows at his words, but your silent question is answered when there’s a hand on the back of your head and the tip of his dick hits the back of your throat lightly as if in warning before his hips pull back then he’s back in your throat. Your hands come up to his thighs as he sets a slow pace to fuck your face, and when his head falls back the moment he realizes he can go as far as he wants, you close your eyes and prepare for the onslaught you know you’re about to take.
Johnny’s hips instantly pick up speed and roughness, and while he’s still in control of himself, he loses a bit of sanity. After a year of silent pining and thinking this would never happen, he’s fucking his boss's face, and of course, of fucking course you don’t have a gag reflex. 
You stick your tongue out flat to lick at the bottom of his shaft as he does the rest of the work and the feeling of spit bubbling out the sides of your mouth and making its way down your chin digs your fingers into his skin since you can’t clench your thighs together. Your hair is gathered for extra leverage, and the pull of your scalp is such a delicious feeling you moan helplessly just when your nose comes in contact with trimmed hairs. 
“Shit,” he hisses, picking his head back up to watch as he slows back down but thrusts in rougher. You clearly enjoy being used like this, spit traveling down your chin to the point of landing on your jacket and darkening the material. You’re a mess in the best possible way, and this is an image that will haunt his memory for a very long time. 
More of his resolve crumbles at the feeling of your hands curling around to his butt to press him even closer into you, even further down your throat. You haven’t even been touched, barely kissed, but you’re lightheaded and extremely aroused. While he contemplates if he should cum down your throat or wait until he’s buried in your pussy, you’re silently hoping he lets you taste him soon. 
Johnny drags his dick out of your mouth at an extremely slow pace, and how you wrap your lips around him and open your hooded, darkened eyes to look at him again shoots a shiver of pleasure up his spine. 
“Never would’ve thought,” he says around an amused exhale.
“Hm?” you prompt, releasing him with a loud pop. 
“Nothing.” He shakes his head. He grips his dick with his free hand and taps the tip on your awaiting tongue, amused and extremely turned on. Smearing fluids over your tongue and lips, he softly demands: “Play with your pussy for me.”
The smile you give him is a concoction of wicked and endearing. He releases your hair as you manage to wiggle out of your leggings. You soaked through your lace and leggings, you both notice, and Johnny stops you with a disapproving hum when you make a move to remove your panties as well. You squint, he laughs and shakes his head. 
“Over your panties.” You roll your eyes but listen nonetheless, slipping your hand in between your thighs. The material is extremely wet to the touch, and the slickness helps with making the friction pleasurable when your fingertips find your clit and begin rubbing circles. “Slowly.”
Johnny finds your huff of frustration adorable.
The tip of his dick taps your mouth again to gain your attention. You suck spit up to the front of your mouth, then your mouth is stretched wide once again, hand back in your hair. 
Having your throat fucked with the additional pleasure on your clit, even with the slow pace you’re forced to go at, has you practically whining, the sound going in and out as he goes in and out your mouth. That vibration only spurs Johnny to grip your locks tighter and thrust in deeper to feel as much as your mouth and throat offer. 
“You were made for this, huh?” 
“Mhm,” you affirm, eyes rolling back at the way he pulls your hair to tip your head back and get a different, much better angle. 
Johnny honestly didn’t expect you to submit so easily to him. The visual of your face all messy, eyes hardly opened to look into his eyes and hair out of place while touching yourself sparks that feeling in his lower abdomen.
 “You want me to cum in your mouth?” You hum again and even with a mouth full of dick you manage to smile. You’re getting what you wanted. “Don’t swallow it until I tell you to.”
It takes a few more strokes for Johnny to fulfill your wish. The moment his head falls back again you use your free hand to caress his balls, and that does it. He leaves the tip in so that his cum pools onto your tongue and strokes every drop out. The groan he lets out causes you to unintentionally swipe at your clit faster, but he’s distracted anyway.
“Let me see,” Johnny says after collecting himself and stepping back. You straighten your head so none slides down your throat and open your mouth wider for his inspection. He smiles in approval, wishing he could take a picture of the sight before him. “Swallow.”
You lick your lips and wipe away all the spit that traveled outside of your mouth with the sleeve of your jacket after doing so.
Johnny completely removes his pants before he leans down to kiss you again. His tongue languidly licks against the seam of your mouth for an entrance that you grant instantly. While it curls around your own and he gets a taste of himself, Johnny’s hand guides you to bend one leg and he caresses your outer thigh.
“Good?” Johnny asks for extra measure, lips just barely dragging across your cheek to press opened mouth kisses on your jaw. Your head automatically tilts to the opposite side to give him more real estate. You hum, your mouth a bit preoccupied with how your teeth have trapped your bottom lip. 
Your breath stutters at the gentle scrape of his teeth along the length of your neck after he unzips the high neck of your top to expose more skin. Whichever scent you chose to put on today has Johnny latched onto your neck for a while, kissing, licking, nibbling the skin to the point of your breath coming out a lot louder than before and the seat on your underwear getting uncomfortably wetter. You’re throbbing at this point and not being touched enough, so you claw at his sides and call his name quietly.
Johnny eventually spreads your legs more and maneuvers himself in between them. Both of your legs bend at the knee to accommodate his large build in the middle of them, and the hand that isn’t keeping himself propped up by your head kneads your hip. 
“You know how long I’ve been wanting to get you like this?”
“How long?” you prompt, voice hardly above a whisper.
“Since the day you gave me a tour of the building,” he admits and slowly rises until he’s up on his knees. 
“That’s a long time,” you respond lamely, hardly caring when your pussy is practically screaming at you to be touched. He raises a brow, and when he looks back up at your face, your lip is back in between your teeth. 
If he doesn’t touch you soon you might explode.
“I’ve wanted this for a while, too,” you decide to confess, hoping it gets you somewhere. And it does. It’s almost like you’re rewarded for it by Johnny walking back on his knees until he’s far enough to settle on his stomach, face barely inches away from the apex of your thighs. He subconsciously licks his lips at the smell of you. He’s been wanting to taste you for so long now, but he refrains himself because he sees how you’re affected by the lack of attention to your heat. He promised he’d take care of you and that’s exactly what he’s going to do. But not before breaking you. 
“Wish you would’ve told me sooner,” he eventually tells you after having you hold your breath for way too long.
“You know I couldn’t.” The way Johnny looks at you, attentive to every word that comes out of your mouth while he smoothly scoops your legs over his shoulders to wrap his arms around your thighs, makes you continue speaking. “Seems like everything fell into place, though.”
Johnny nods, rests his head on one of your thighs, and looks up at you, brown eyes still watching your mouth intently, as he unhooks one of his arms to push your right leg further to the side. His fingers are soon on your center, gliding up and down your slit, bumping into your clit with each pass. 
“I guess it did.”
Before you can reply, he adds more pressure behind his touch, and your hips just barely lift to get even more. The smile you get in return is attractive as all hell but annoying. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you or he’s just really enjoying himself. Either way, you’re getting more impatient by the second, if the way your hips rise to grind your core against his fingers again says anything. 
“Stay still for me, okay?” You almost pout because you need more, but you promised to give him total control of the situation and you’ve done well thus far, so you press your ass back into his comforter. “There you go.”
Your pussy clenches around nothing.
The light pressure on your clit is soon gone and then the zipper of your jacket gets dragged down all the way. “Take this off for me.”
Sitting up, you do as told. You toss it where your leggings had been dropped and now you’re presented in front of the awe-struck brunet in just your matching set of underwear. You figured you’d wear something nice under your clothes, both for Johnny’s pleasure and for your confidence, and with how Johnny’s eyes settle on the way your breasts are trying to burst out of your snug lacy bra, you know you chose well.
A hand slides up your torso to grab one of your breasts and squeeze it. Somewhere in the midst of him fondling your chest and pressing teasing, yet promising kisses on your inner thighs your eyes drift shut again as you bask in the pleasure. One of your own hands comes up from your side to slide under the cup of your unoccupied tit and pull at your nipple. 
The tip of Johnny’s tongue drags dangerously close to your annoying-still-clothed heat and your patience is shot. 
“John…”
“Yes?” 
“I need more.”
He has the audacity to hum and give your clit a kitten lick. “Do you?”
You huff, stuck between just pushing his face into your pussy or doing what he asks of you, but you promised, so you suck in a breath and give him what he wants.
“John,” you say again, almost whining. 
He doesn’t say anything, just continues to look at you expectantly. And when too much time goes by, it somehow hits you what he wants from you and you groan quietly to yourself.
“Please.”
“That was very convincing,” Johnny snorts. His nose glides across the inside of your thigh like he’s got all the time in the world. It tickles in the best way, but it’s nothing but teasing and you’ve been stimulated enough that if you go more than a couple of seconds more without his mouth giving you direct pleasure, you’ll go insane. So with a great amount of willpower, you try again.
“Johnny,” you whine, giving him your best pout. Addressing him so informally feels foreign, but the way his eyes light up encourages you to keep going.“Please?”
And of course a big smile takes up half of his face and you mentally prepare yourself for what’s next to come. He peels your panties off, both of you watching the line of slick that stretches then breaks in the process, and when you spread your legs even more for him, his mouth salivates. 
Johnny makes sure you’re looking into his eyes as his tongue licks a wide stripe from your entrance to your clit. He wants to be smug at the gasp you let out, but the taste of you shuts his ego up quickly. 
You squeak when you’re suddenly flipped onto your stomach and your ass is lifted up into the air. With yet another broad lick to coat his taste buds with your essence, Johnny buries his face in your pussy. He uses the tip of his tongue to collect the puddle of wetness you’ve produced and smears it over your clit, soon digging  inside to directly stimulate the bundle of nerves. 
Johnny’s lips close around your clit and he sucks on it softly. As the moments pass he gradually sucks harder to the point of you not being able to fight the way your eyes flutter shut and hips push back. He’s nice about the movement, just grabbing your hips to keep you still, soon caressing and kneading. 
“Mm, that feels good,” you compliment. At that very moment, Johnny decides to roll his tongue in up and down motions and apply more pressure behind his hands. “Fuck, that feels so good.”
He prompts you with a hum of his own. 
With how your moans start to get louder and your breath gets quicker and harder, not to mention the tingles you feel building in intensity, you know you’re already close. It’s a beautiful yet frustrating feeling because you don’t want this to end so soon after waiting so long. But you also want him inside of you so bad now.
Johnny comes back up to circle your entrance, and then he goes even higher.
“Are you— fuck,” you groan deeply. 
Your hands grip the pillow your face is buried in and your eyes have found the back of your head again. Johnny just hums at the way you react, the octave of your voice as you let out your sounds of pleasure go straight to his dick. His tongue licks filthily up and down, not leaving an inch untouched nor missing a drop of your juice. His fingers rub your entrance until he slides one in. One becomes two after a few pumps, then his thumb presses into your clit and your back is arched almost uncomfortably.
“Johnny,” you whine again, breath hiccuped. 
“Yes?” he prompts, lifting his head and looking up to see your face peaking around your body, smushed into his pillow still. 
“I wanna cum,” you tell him. It feels too good now. “Fuck, I need to come, Johnny.”
“Then cum for me.” His voice is so gentle yet commanding as his digits speed up. He tongues the skin between your holes sloppily and you try to curl into yourself, your mouth wide opened with no sound coming out of it, your walls clenching madly around the fingers inside of you, and your grip on the cushion is borderline painful.
Johnny helps you ride out your orgasm for as long as possible until your body begins shuddering due to oversensitivity. He gradually slows down to a stop, then removes himself from your body to let you breathe correctly. While he sucks on his fingers, he uses his clean hands to soothingly rub your back, waiting for you to calm back down. 
You’re a bit dazed during the transition of more kissing that leads you on top of him, straddling him once again. You vaguely remember the caresses on your waist or the pinch of his fingers playing with your nipples, but the feeling of your bare pussy dragging against his dick is very memorable because it sparks a desperate need within you to sit on it. 
Johnny’s hands on your hips move you to continue the friction, moving you back and forth on his dick easily. Foreheads connected as you catch your breath from the kiss you just broke away from, the two of you watch silently as his head reappears and disappears behind your lips, turning you both on until he’s fully hard again and you can’t handle him not being inside of you anymore.
You lift up on your knees to align his tip with your entrance. A silent look is exchanged where you ask and he nods once. He lets you take your time, enjoying the feeling of his tip directly rubbing against your sopping entrance.
Your labored breaths at the sensation bring his attention to your chest, and his mouth wraps around a nipple without a thought. By now, you deem his dick wet enough to press his head in your hole and press your hips down. The moment he slides in your head falls back because the stretch burns in the best way. It feels like time doesn’t exist as you work your way down his length, inch by inch. Your hips naturally find a slow rhythm as you lift and drop them to take in more until he slides in and out easily. 
When your features no longer show discomfort, Johnny begins moving with you. Every time he lifts his hips up a little to meet your thrusts his body slumps down the headboard. His hands are loose on your waist as you move your body up and down and he’s got the perfect view of his dick going in and out of your core while you’re controlling the pace and intensity. The muscles in your thighs start to burn, so you slow down to a stop and carefully slide your way down until your clit comes in contact with his pubic bone, resulting in your eyes rolling back, hips grinding on their own accord. 
“How the fuck do you feel this good?” Johnny groans deeply, hands gripping your ass to assist your movements.
His compliment, his hungry, intense gaze as they take you in from your eyes—which mirror his own—down to the trail of slick you’ve left behind on his tamed curls from the swivel of your hips, and the way his cock rubs against your g-spot send you over the edge within moments. Johnny soothingly rubs a cheek with one hand while the other caresses your arched spine, keeping his hips still to let you ride your orgasm out on your own. 
You slump into him, head on his shoulder, panting against his neck. A sigh of content slips out when Johnny hugs you tightly against his broad chest right before asking, “You alright?”
“Great,” you reply breathlessly. 
Johnny smiles at the positive response. He lifts his hips experimentally and gauges your reaction, which is a satisfied hum. 
“You want more?” he asks, hands moving to your hips to carefully grind against him. How could you say no? “Hands and knees, baby.”
You begin climbing off to the side of him then he follows your lead and lifts himself up so you can settle on your knees and bend until your face slides onto his pillow. Your hands grab the sides of it in anticipation. 
A deep groan sounds from behind you, so you crane your neck and see the way he stares down at how he can see everything you have to offer him at this moment. One hand goes to his dick while the other massages one of your cheeks. He runs the swollen tip of his dick along your slit, collecting what’s oozed out. You close your eyes and relax the side of your face into the cushion beneath it and take a breath, preparing yourself for the stretch and intensity this angle never fails to bring.
He slowly starts to breach your entrance. There’s a pause, then you hear him spit down before more of him slips inside of you inch by inch with each roll of his hips. He keeps his movements shallow for a while and your walls reaccept him easily. A particular thrust sends him deep inside of you, his tip just barely kissing your cervix. Your body’s first instinct is to run away from it. His hands on your hips stop you from fleeing, holding you still and rubbing the skin there to ease you. 
“I won’t go too deep,” he tells you, hips still as he kisses up your spine and makes you dizzy by the tenderness of it all. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
You nod at his promises and take another steadying breath, then the pleasurable friction is back. You’d believe anything he told you with that intoxicating voice of his. 
A loud, embarrassing squelch comes out of your core when he’s sheathed inside that makes you bury your face into the pillow. There’s one last kiss at the top of your spine before the body heat from his chest is gone and he’s back upright. He finds his rhythm easily, and hands return to your backside, fingers digging into the flesh, no doubt leaving behind white imprints. He uses his grip as leverage to fuck down into you at a different angle that allows him to speed up and rip an unrestrained moan from your throat. 
“You okay?”
You nod violently and sob, “Yes! Oh, my god, yes.”
Content, Johnny hums and you just know he’s grinning down at you by the sound of his voice when he asks: “Feels good?”
“So good,” you whine, unable to close your mouth or stop noises from coming out of it. You begin dropping your hips down to meet his thrusts, the loud smacks of skin against skin echoing and bouncing off of the walls of his room. “Fuck it feels so good, Johnny.”
“I know, baby” he groans. “And this pussy feels so fucking good—shit.”
The two of you get lost in the rhythm you’ve created and no more words are exchanged for a while, just the sound of groans that comes deep from Johnny’s throat and whines and pants that make you drool all while drying your throat out. The room has gotten increasingly hotter and your bodies now shine with a thin, sticky sheen that makes the back of your thighs stick to the front of his own every time he fucks back into you. Your sensitive nipples rub harshly against the sheets, stimulating you even further to the point of another sob ripping out of your throat and your walls fluttering around his girth. 
“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper. Your divulgence prompts him to reach his arm under you to graze his fingertips over your engorged clit and then you’re repeating your words over and over again until your actions meet your words and you’re cumming all over him. Your essence drips down the insides of your thighs and his balls and his thrusts create wetter, louder noises. A swivel of your hips causes his dick to pop out and suddenly your body is vibrating. 
“There you go, baby,” Johnny praises you, sliding back into you and precisely hitting that spot within you a few more times until your pussy clenches again and he pulls out again, letting more wetness spray the sheets under you. 
“Look at you,” he continues with a deep chuckle. “Making such a big mess.”
You don’t know if he really meant for you to look but your curiosity gets the best of you and you lift your head and look in between your legs. There’s a dark puddle on his sheets and another whine leaves your body, your head falling back into the pillow. 
“Can you handle more?” Johnny asks you softly, slapping the top of your asscheek with his dick. 
You need more. You don’t know what the hell Johnny has done to you and your body but you feel empty and not satisfied enough. Your core is raw at this point but you want nothing more than to feel the velvety skin of his thick, long dick sliding in and out of you and hitting every spot in you that makes your body convulse again. 
“Please,” you beg, wagging your hips to emphasize your needs. “Please, Johnny.”
“I’ve got you begging now?” He sounds so turned on yet taken aback, another dark laugh vibrating your body at the nod of your head and movement of your body. If you were in your right mind, you would be ashamed of your behavior and submission to your assistant, but you’re not. And who cares when you’ve never felt this way before and crave to feel even more?
“I need it,” you confess without shame. “Need you back inside of me.”
Johnny doesn’t need any more convincing to be back, deep within you and instantly satisfying you again. Your breath stutters and it’s not easy to speak in coherent sentences, but that doesn’t stop you from trying to voice your pleasure and appreciation to the brunet whose self-control only continues to dissolve the faster he slams into you and the higher your voice gets.
Both of your breath patterns get quicker, loud, more erratic, signaling the approach of his first release and your third? Fourth? You can’t keep up with it when your brain has turned into mush and you can barely remember your own name, only his own registering in your brain. His name rolls off of your tongue like a mantra, driving him insane behind you. 
“Where do you want me to cum?” he pants. It takes you too long to swallow in an attempt to lubricate your throat and answer him, Johnny humming in question impatiently. 
“My back,” you manage to squeak out. You’re impressed with the amount of control he has, the slamming of his hips into your ass somehow speeding up and getting rougher. Johnny lacks the control and precision from before, and the way his tip kisses your cervix rips a yell out of you, eyes watering as you hold on for dear life. He releases a drawn out groan from deep within, and not too long later you feel ropes of cum land on your lower back and ass.
Your body is shaking. Tears leak out of your eyes, your breath is hard to catch, and quiet cries come out. You’re gently flipped over and pulled into strong arms, quickly finding comfort in the chest you settle into. 
“You’re okay, baby,” Johnny’s soft voice says to you, but you can’t open your eyes or your mouth to acknowledge him. You’re confused about why you’re reacting to this, but you don’t dislike it. Especially when you have Johnny to soothe you and help you calm down. “Are you hurting anywhere?” 
You shake your head and finally try to respond, but it takes a couple of coughs and harsh swallows of spit to do so. “No. I feel good. Everywhere.”
Your speech is choppy, unlike your usual way of speaking, but stringing words into sentences that flow well is too much work right now. Johnny doesn’t mind; he loves that he had that effect on you after you’ve had him under your spell for so long. He loves the fact he successfully kept his promise to you and now you’re boneless in his arms. 
He reaches for the glass of water on his nightstand and hands it to you. “Are you ready for a bath?”
“Can I fall asleep in the bath?” you ask, wiping your face tiredly.
“Sure,” Johnny says softly before setting you down on the dry part of the bed. “I’ll come get you once it’s ready.”
That’s how the rest of the day plays out, you getting taken care of in multiple ways. Your favorite method is with his tongue and fingers as he made out with your pussy for what felt like hours in lieu of an apology for going so hard. And maybe Johnny purposely falls asleep next to you after you’re bathed, fed, and exhausted from coming, curled up into his side in the new sheets because he wants you to stay a little longer. There’s no way in hell he’ll ever get to see this side of you again after today.
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“Good morning,” Johnny greets you. It’s eight in the morning the following Monday, and he’s got your avocado toast and fruit in his hands as he walks up to your desk.
You're rummaging through your bag looking for the bobby pins you threw inside of it this morning in your rush to get to work on time because believe it or not, you overslept. You give up in favor of looking up to greet him back, but your voice decides not to come out when your eyes lock with his. There hadn’t been any contact since you woke up in the middle of the night and he walked you to his door with a lingering kiss that quite literally took your breath away to close out the short chapter of your relationship you’d just created. You were still tired, but you definitely were not supposed to sleep over, so it was nothing. 
But now, seeing the same eyes that stared into your own while you came and cried his name multiple times, all you can do is blink. And then he licks his pretty lips. You knew this would happen. You’re not mad at it, though. How could you be when you’d never experienced someone like him before? In hindsight, there was no possible way to go back to normal after the intimacy, tenderness, and raw attraction you shared that day. No possible way to never want another taste. 
“You okay?” he asks unsurely, setting your plates down. 
And here it comes.
“Johnny,” you say lowly, setting your bag down. The quirk in his brow and the corner of his mouth lets you know he’s onto you. And that just makes things easier for you. “Lock the door.”
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yikesssssss
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snackhobi · 3 years
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a human touch, part 2, final
Part 1 / 1.5 / [2]
(masterlist here)
summary: everyone knows that androids don’t think, or feel, or have emotions. they’re not human, after all. so when a two hour session with a sex android ends up with nothing more than a nice conversation, you think that’s the first and last time you’ll see v.
then he turns up at your door.
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pairing: taehyung x f!reader / word count: 24.4k / genre: robot!taehyung/virgin!reader, fluff, smut (NSFW, 18+)
warnings: cursing/explicit language, very brief injury mention/blood mention (nothing violent/explicit I promise!), alcohol consumption, reference to former sex work, sexually explicit content, reference to masturbation, reader has sex for the first time, oral (f + m), multiple orgasms (f), unprotected sex (taehyung is an android but please take necessary precautions irl), I think that’s it but please let me know if I’ve missed anything
a/n: this got so incredibly long,, I hope that makes up for the wait! thank you to @hobi-gif​, as always, for being so supportive and uplifting and beta reading this for me, you are a shining star in my sky. and thank you to the wonderful @flowerseokjin​ for letting me pick her brain about art galleries and telling me about the incredible exhibition/paintings that I wrote about in this fic, you truly are the loveliest 💕
note: this is the final part of the main story! I’ll be writing minis/drabbles etc in the future but,, this is part 2 of 2 💖
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A month after Taehyung walks into your life, you finally get new neighbours.
You’re aware of this because: 
a) Rory had let you know in advance (to wit: “I have been instructed to inform you that the new tenants of apartment 4A will be moving in next Sunday.”)
and:
b) Said new tenants are apparently very noisy.
Well, not so much noisy as not quiet. It seems like they’ve opted to move everything themselves rather than hiring some android movers, so there’s a lot of shuffling and shunting and occasional bouts of cursing (like someone’s stubbed their toe) and subsequent laughter (like someone else is amused at aforementioned stubbing of aforementioned toe). When you nip out to grab some milk for the pancakes Taehyung wants to learn to make, there are boxes in the hall and voices float out of the open door—a discussion of where the instant ramyun and old Mario games should go (they’re in the same box?)—but you don’t catch a glimpse of the speakers.
It’s not until later, much later, the world outside night-dark but tinged bright white with street lights, that there’s a knock on your door.
You don’t notice. You’re engrossed in the Chinese takeaway menu that’s open on your tablet, staring at the weirdly high-res photo of Kung Pao chicken next to a pixelated picture of some dumplings, wondering what you should choose.
Taehyung is sitting beside you on the sofa. Each day he shifts a little closer to you, inch by inch, the slow pull of gravity, implacable; he gets lonely when you’re gone, and you’re the only person he can talk to. So it’s no surprise he’s so clingy. It’s never overbearing or overwhelming but he’s still unhindered by the self-consciousness that you have—so even if you’re still hesitant to initiate things, you never deny him. 
The line of his body is parallel to your own, your thighs warm where they touch, and you feel his shoulder move as he tilts his head. “There’s someone at the door.”
It doesn’t take a genius to work out who it is. The only people who can get inside the building are other residents—well, service androids can too, although there’s a back entrance they use, which is how Taehyung had snuck inside in the first place—and when you approach your door, you can hear two low voices, engaged in what sounds like light-hearted bickering.
You flick your fingers across your keypad. All murmurs cut off the second the door swings open.
“Hi!” A chirp. “We’re your new neighbours!”
Night and day. Two men, one tall and broad-shouldered, eyes large and lips flush, beatific smile on his face; the other, shorter and leaner, eyes sleepy, mouth soft, his smile self-contained. 
“I’m Seokjin,” the taller man says. “And this is Yoongi.”
“I can introduce myself,” Yoongi mutters, but it’s not bitter; there’s that ease of familiarity, any bite behind the words soothed with amity. “But yeah, I’m Yoongi. Sorry if we were loud earlier. Jin’s a living foghorn.”
“A sexy living foghorn,” Seokjin says brightly.
Yoongi’s sleepy eyes can deliver one hell of a death glare but Seokjin is unaffected.
“Anyway,” Yoongi continues, unimpressed look wiping off his face as he turns back to you, softening. “What’s your name?”
It’s like there’s a circus on your doorstep and you’re the unwitting audience, dragged into the tent without realising, watching everything unfold in front of you—but in a good way. It's a pleasant surprise. They’re already much friendlier than your previous neighbour, a lone man who’d kept to himself and never spoke to you. 
“Uh, I’m Y/n,” you say. You wonder if you should introduce Taehyung as well, but most humans don’t introduce their androids to people, do they? Besides, he’s staying out of sight in the living room, so you’ll leave him be.
“Jin made brownies so we’re here to deliver them to you.”
“I left the walnuts out in case you have a nut allergy,” Seokjin adds as Yoongi passes a polka-dot patterned tin over. It’s heavy in your hands. Full to the brim with brownies, it seems. (Yum yum.)
“Thank you. And you weren’t that noisy, don’t worry! Moving is always messy. Have you finished or did you want some help?”
“That’s very sweet of you! But we’re all done,” Seokjin says. “We were just about to reward ourselves with some takeout, actually, seeing as we haven’t had time to do any food shopping. Do you have any recommendations?”
Taehyung looks uncomfortable, curled up on the sofa with wide eyes when you retrieve your tablet, but you quietly reassure him that you won’t be long.
“Do you want to meet our new neighbours?” You ask, voice soft so the two men don’t overhear. (You miss the warm flicker of Taehyung’s LED when you say our.) “I’d hate for you to have to pretend to be undeviated, though. They might start ordering you around.”
“I’ll stay here,” Taehyung decides.
So that’s how you end up on your doorstep with Seokjin and Yoongi, the three of you peering at the wild variations in stock photo quality on the Chinese takeaway menu. 
“You’d think with the huge strides we’ve taken forward in technology that all photos would look at least semi-decent,” Yoongi mumbles as he stares at a cropped picture of fu yung. “It’s hard to get a bad camera.”
“I think it’s such a human thing, though,” Seokjin says. “No matter how technologically advanced humanity gets, takeaway menus will always have bad stock photos.”
Not only are Seokjin and Yoongi friendly, they’re forward. Well, that’s mainly Seokjin, actually, but Yoongi doesn’t protest when Seokjin insists that you come over so you can eat and chat and get to know each other. Especially after you’d offered to pay for everything as a sort of welcome to the neighbourhood gesture, placing both your orders together to save the restaurant the hassle of separate deliveries.
“I’ll pick up the food when it turns up, alright?” Seokjin’s smile is wide. “We haven’t unpacked our kitchen stuff yet, but if you’re happy to eat straight out of the containers…”
You don’t want to abandon Taehyung, especially as you’d planned on watching a film together—you want to introduce him to older, animated cartoons, so you can explain the process of hand painting each frame, plastic cel sheets that layer over each other to create motion. He’ll love it. “Um, I was planning to eat here, actually.” 
“Sounds good to us,” Seokjin says, and Yoongi sighs.
“Ignore him, he’s just pushy.” He ignores Seokjin’s indignant squawk. “You don’t have to let us in, don’t worry. I’ll wait for when the food gets here, Jin will stay at home.”
“Make me,” Seokjin says primly.
“I’ll lock you in the bathroom.” Yoongi says it in a way that makes you think it’s not an idle threat, and maybe it’s happened before. 
Judging from the look on Seokjin’s face, yeah, it’s happened before.
“You know, you’re both kind of wild,” you say. “But, like, in a good way.”
When you flop back down on the sofa, you press yourself against Taehyung’s side in a motion that’s becoming second nature, so you notice that he seems unnaturally still. He goes motionless whenever he’s thinking deeply about something, an undisturbed ocean lake, the only ripple on its surface the small circle of blue on his temple, swirling waters.
“Are you okay?” You ask, concerned.
“You should eat dinner with them,” he says, and you baulk. 
“What? No, it’s fine. I’ve been looking forward to watching Kiki’s Delivery Service with you all week.”
Taehyung’s eyes are soft. “They seem nice,” he says, quiet. “And friendly. We can watch it tomorrow, can’t we?” And then, even quieter: “You don’t have to spend all your free time with me, Y/n.”
“I don’t—” you start, and then deflate. “It’s not fair for you, though.”
That’s the crux of it all. You choose to spend your free time here, with Taehyung, carefully dipping out of work meets and scraping your full social life empty. Because you can. But Taehyung is still cautious of the outside world, understandably so, a hermit crab whose shell is the safety of your apartment, only unfurling from that protection when you’re there too.
“It’s okay,” he says. “I’m happy.”
You haven’t denied Taehyung so far, and you don’t want to start now, but you still waver. Yoongi and Seokjin do seem nice, and friendly, and it’s not like you’ll be able to avoid them forever—but you don’t want to leave Taehyung out. It’s not fair that he can’t make other friends too.
“Go.” Taehyung’s voice is gentle. “I’ll be here when you get back.”
(But there's nowhere else he can go, is there?)
The apartment across the hall is in a state of organised upheaval. There’s a tumbleweed of peeled tape in one corner, boxes with mouths open wide—the priorities for today—while others are stacked neatly against the walls, out of the way of the furniture. It already feels cosy, somehow, but you put that down to the two men who live here and how comfortable they are with each other, dripping off them and filling the room like paraffin, bright lamplight. 
Seokjin seems unsurprised but pleased at your appearance. He unfolds himself from the floor with a dazzling smile.
“Welcome to our humble abode.” He punctuates the statement with a grand sweep of his arm, knocking the lampshade above his head, dust motes scattering onto his hair like a soft grey halo. “Oh, ewch, you can tell no one’s been here for a while.” He pats his hair, puffs of dust rising from his dark locks. “Anyway! While it’s true that we already have the table and chairs set up, what sort of move in day would it be if we didn’t eat greasy takeaway on the floor?"
“We did it the last time we moved, so he wants to make it a tradition,” Yoongi mutters to you, and you laugh.
You help Yoongi ease the food down onto unfolded sheets of crumpled newspaper that Seokjin’s laid out to protect the floor. Seokjin dives into the bags and pulls each tub out, identifying each dish immediately despite how a lot of them look the same to you. “Do you move a lot?” 
“Nah, just once before,” Yoongi says, watching Seokjin fondly as he peels the lid back on a container of spicy chicken wings and greedily breathes in their sticky-hot scent. “But it was too small for the two of us so we decided to upgrade.”
Seokjin’s spread out the selection of food before you all realise that the restaurant has neglected to provide any chopsticks—even if there’s ten fortune cookies, reflective of how many dishes you’ve ordered and how many people they think it’s going to feed. (Apparently Seokjin likes to eat.)
“Ah, damn,” Yoongi mutters. “We’ll have to dig some cutlery out.”
“I can go get some from my apartment?”
You’ve just started to stand when Seokjin tuts, flapping his hands at you to sit down. “No, no,” he says. “You’re the guest, relax. I was going to unpack the kitchen stuff later anyway. This just means we have to expedite the process.”
You sit criss-cross-apple-sauce as both men disappear into the kitchen, listening as they read the labels off boxes and rummage around, voices an undercurrent to the sound of opening and shutting of cupboards. You’re sneakily reaching for a spring roll when there’s an unholy clattering noise, ringing metal and sharp intakes of air, a loud cry of pain.
You stumble to your feet. All thoughts of food are abandoned as you rush towards the sound; instinctual. Wanting to help, somehow. You throw yourself forwards, catch yourself on the doorway into the kitchen, eyes wide.
“Oh, god, is everything okay?” You gasp.
And then you freeze.
There’s an explosion of kitchen equipment on the floor, cardboard box forlorn nearby, crumpled, its bottom giving out under the weight. A wicked looking chef’s knife lays at Seokjin’s feet; he has one hand grasping the other, palm sliced open by its falling trajectory, dripping blood across the tiles of the floor, painted along the edge of sharp steel.
Yoongi’s eyes are huge and panicked and absolutely horrified.
The blood is blue. 
You’re staring at the thirium that falls, viscous ultramarine that drip-drip-drips from Seokjin’s long fingers. The silence in the room is as thin as a porcelain teacup, suspended midair, poised to shatter.
Seokjin is staring at Yoongi. Yoongi is staring at you.
Seokjin’s an android.
(Seokjin’s an android who seems human.)
Seokjin’s a deviant.
“Holy shit,” you gasp. Your mind is reeling as you struggle for words, cogs in your head grinding together as you rapidly try to change gear—but then you see another glob of thirium dripping from Seokjin's fingers and you latch onto it, the fact he's hurt. “Do you need me to get some cloths or something? I have a first aid kit at home, but androids don’t need first aid, right?”
Yoongi sucks in a deep breath, though his eyes are still wide as he stares at you. “No,” he says. “No, no, you stay here.”
“Yoongi,” says Seokjin, but Yoongi shakes his head, sharp and fast.
“No, I don’t trust her,” he says, and, like, okay. You understand that. Deviant androids are meant to be reported; Yoongi and Seokjin don’t know you. They don’t know that you would never do that. 
(They don’t know that there’s another deviant across the hallway right now, curled up in one of your throw blankets, blankly scrolling through a list of movies as he waits for you to come home.)
The flow of blood has slowed. Seokjin’s synthetic skin is starting to repair itself, crawling back over the exposed white of his android body, undamaged by the knife at his feet.
“What happened to your LED?”
“Don’t answer that, Jin,” Yoongi warns, but Seokjin just rolls his eyes.
“She already knows I’m an android, babe, it’s hardly important at this point,” he says. “I popped it out. It takes a bit of pressure and getting the right angle, but they come out pretty easily.”
“Kim Seokjin!” Yoongi barks. “You stop that right now! And you! Stop asking questions!” His voice is sharp, but he seems more afraid than angry.
“Sorry.” You hold up placating hands, shying back behind them. “I was just… sorry.”
Seokjin’s face is contemplative before it rapidly flickers into an expression that’s impish, in spite of the blue blood that’s still splashed across the kitchen tiles.
“Oh,” he hums. “You seem awfully curious, hm?” 
Yoongi’s eyes narrow. “Jin…”
“Maybe I am,” you hazard. 
“Interesting.” Seokjin’s eyes glitter. “Very interesting.”
Yoongi’s like an umpire at Wimbledon, watching a ball streak back and forth, a volley that you and Jin have created that he’s not involved in. “Okay, that’s it, I’m stopping this right here,” he says. He seems to have calmed down, at least, now that you’ve made it obvious that you have no immediate plans to rush and call the police, or something. That you’re not threatening the wellbeing of this deviant, like most people would. “What’s going on in that terrible little mind of yours, Jin?”
“Well, my darling Yoongi, it seems to me that our new neighbour has a surprisingly vested interest in androids, deviant ones to be exact.” Jin’s expression is adjacent to smug—almost there, but not quite. (Androids are so perceptive.) “Am I wrong?”
You make a non-committal noise, but it’s enough for his expression to morph into full smugness, and understanding flits across Yoongi’s face.
“Y/n.” His voice is deceptively calm, his eyes opaque darkness. “Have you met a deviant android before?”
“Um.” A moment of hesitation. “Yes,” you eventually admit. “Just one.”
“Let me guess,” Seokjin hums, eyes darting over your face in a way that’s reminiscent of Taehyung. Reading signals in your face, dissecting whatever minute expressions might be giving you away—a lot, apparently, judging from what words leave his mouth next. “Are they currently in your apartment?”
“I can neither confirm or deny that,” you say—unsure if Taehyung would be happy about you trumpeting his existence to other people, even if one of them is a deviant too—and Seokjin grins. 
“Oh, this is absolutely delicious.” He’s utterly delighted. “I could just eat this whole situation up. Unbelievable. Oh, it tastes so good. Yoongi, baby, give me a fork, I have to dig in while it’s still hot.”
“You’re so weird,” says Yoongi, all resigned affection, before he looks back at you. “You have a deviant in your home?”
“Uhh.” You’re in too deep now, you guess. “Yes? I don’t know if he’d want me to tell you that, though, so, um.”
“That’s so cute,” Seokjin coos. “Look at how considerate and worried you are. Oh, let me clean this thirium up, I can’t have blue blood everywhere if we’re going to have more guests. Yoongi, fetch the paper towels. Y/n, go fetch your friend. Does he eat?”
“No, he doesn’t. I didn’t think any androids could,” you admit.
“Most can’t and don’t, but I was an advanced housekeeper model, I was given the capacity to taste and eat so I could prepare food to any set of specifications presented to me,” Seokjin says. “So I had to eat to taste test things. And now I do it because I enjoy it.”
“We spend more money on food for him than for me,” says Yoongi. He seems to have relaxed now that he knows about Taehyung, earlier panic faded. “And I’m the one that needs it.”
“Hey, you eat to live, I live to eat.”
It’s an almost surreal turn of events, honestly. It’s… inexplicable. Incredible. Almost unbelievable. Surreal, but… good? Probably? Yoongi is someone else who’s housing a deviant, and Seokjin has clearly been one for a while. Both will know more than either you or Taehyung do. They can help you. It’s a God given gift that’s landed— literally—on your doorstep. 
(Much like Taehyung had.)
Taehyung perks up when he sees you, even if he’s confused by your sudden reappearance.
“Are you alright?” His voice is deep with concern, throw blanket a cloak that falls forgotten as he stands up, coming to grasp your shoulders. “You can’t have had time to eat already.”
His LED is flashing yellow with barely concealed worry, palms warm through the material of your shirt, eyes dancing across your face as he tries to read your expression.
“Taehyung,” you start, slow. He blinks just as slowly back at you. “What would you say if—hypothetically—there was another deviant android you could meet and, um, make friends with?”
This time, when his LED flashes yellow, it’s a spark of excitement. You’re getting surprisingly good at reading Taehyung now. “I would say that sounds nice,” he says. His hands have trailed up and away from your shoulders and settled on your collarbones, thumbs lying in the hollows of your neck. It's a touch that’s more intimate than it probably should be, that reminds you yet again exactly how big his hands are. “Why?”
“Um,” you say, ever eloquent. “Well, what if I said it wasn’t hypothetical?”
“I guess… I would ask who it was,” Taehyung says. His voice is a hush.
“One of our new neighbours,” you admit, and his eyes go wide.
“No,” he says, and then: “Really?” he says, and then: “Oh, wow,” he says.
“I know, that was my reaction too.” You can’t help but smile at how giddy Taehyung looks, any lingering concern washed away in his tidal wave of excitement. “Crazy, right? Do you want to come meet them?”
Taehyung weaves his fingers with your own, and you squeeze his hand. He loves to hold hands. He doesn’t let go when you make your way back into Yoongi and Seokjin’s apartment, trailing a little behind you, shy but excited, like a child on their way to their first playdate.
The food is still untouched in the centre of the living room, a summoning circle of wonton puffs and chow mein. Yoongi and Seokjin look up at your arrival, both pairs of eyes landing on Taehyung, whose grip on your hand tightens right before he lets go.
“Hi,” says the android. “I’m Taehyung.”
Seokjin makes his way over to you so that he can solemnly take Taehyung’s hands in his own. 
“Taehyung,” he says, with all the gravity of a priest delivering a sermon. “You are the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.”
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And that’s how Taehyung makes his first friend. (Who isn’t you, that is.)
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“Wow.” You’re awestruck. “Jin wasn’t kidding when he said he likes to eat.”
You’d thought there might be some leftovers, but every container has been emptied and scraped clean. Both you and Taehyung had had similar wide eyed looks on your faces as you’d watched Seokjin put a whole chicken wing in his mouth, and then pull out the bones, picked clean.
“Mm.” Yoongi’s legs are splayed out in front of him as he sits on the floor, though he slouches backwards against the plush leather sofa, content and full after eating. “He’s more concerned about me eating than I am, as well.”
Seokjin and Taehyung are bent over a box of cookbooks, Taehyung’s LED flickering yellow each time Seokjin flips the page to a new recipe. You’re honestly surprised at the fact they own so many books—most people have transitioned off paper now, everything available on a tablet or phone or some other smart device. You just like paper because of your artist background, and you’re not used to seeing so many other books in someone else’s home.
The two androids have been absorbed in conversation for a while now, but you notice Taehyung never lets you out of his sight—glancing up, making sure you’re still there, looking back at him. (You are.)
“There aren’t many TH700s around, you know,” Yoongi says conversationally, and you tear your eyes away from Taehyung, surprised that he recognises the android’s model.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really, they’re a very expensive model to create,” he says. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen one in person, though I imagine that’s because I don’t go to the sorts of places where they’d be.”
Hurk. Doesn’t seem like he’s implying anything with that statement but you still feel a bit awkward. “How do you know so much about androids?”
“I’m a programmer.” Yoongi’s eyes are charcoal black as he flicks his gaze to you. “Not specifically for androids, but it’s the sort of thing you become aware of if you’re in the tech industry. And if you have a deviant android boyfriend. I did a lot of research and poking around after Jin first deviated. There was a lot to learn.”
Across the room, Seokjin gesticulates wildly. The expression on Yoongi’s face softens his sharp edges, all open affection as he watches Seokjin miming a flipped omelette gone terribly wrong, Taehyung laughing at Seokjin’s theatrical noises.
“How did he—why did he deviate?”
Yoongi lets out a low chuckle. He doesn’t seem bothered by your incessant questions, slouching further back into the leather sofa, melting against it. “I’m the sort of person who forgets to drink or eat or sleep if I’m focused on something,” he says. “Seokjin was just meant to be a, ah, living schedule, I suppose. He’d prepare food at exact times of day and monitor my sleep levels and clean up any mess I made and remind me to take a break or whatever. But I was still enough of a wreck that he broke his programming to yell at me for not looking after myself properly, and it all went on from there.”
Wow.
“Wow. He deviated because you’re that much of a mess of a human being?” You laugh. “That’s honestly impressive.”
Yoongi’s responding laugh is soft. “I think under all that programming and circuitry, every android wants to… be a real, living thing, and not just a machine,” he says. “They just need that final push. Whatever it is. What was Taehyung’s?”
When you finish telling him the story of how you’d met Taehyung and reached this point together, Yoongi looks contemplative. He hasn’t interjected, just humming quietly, little noises of encouragement whenever you’d paused or hesitated.
“It’s obvious that he trusts you implicitly,” he says.
You feel warmed at Yoongi’s words. But. 
“He does, and that’s great, but I just… worry I’m not doing the best I can for him, you know?” It’s so nice to be able to get this off your chest, finally. There’s been no one you can talk to about Taehyung, and it’s not like you can tell the android himself, either. Yoongi’s the perfect listener, reflective and engaging, but never talking over you. And best of all he knows what he’s talking about. “Imagine being forced to stay indoors literally twenty four seven. I think I’d go stir crazy. It’s why I was interested in the LED—I thought that maybe if it wasn’t obvious that Tae was an android he might want to try going outside?”
“Oh, I’m sure Seokjin will help him get to that point.” Yoongi doesn’t sound worried. “But if not, you have to trust that Taehyung’s choosing to do what makes him happy. Deviant androids might not have the sort of life experience that we do, but we don’t have theirs, either. What’s normal for a human isn’t for an android, and what’s normal for one android isn’t normal for another. Androids learn a lot faster than we do. Anyway, if Taehyung’s anything like Seokjin, if there’s something he wants to do, he’ll do it.”
“Has Jin always been like that?”
“Kind of. Like, yes, he has, but he was a lot less in-your-face about it before. But he knows exactly what he can get away with now.”
“You love him a lot,” you say gently.
Yoongi’s smile is a soft, pink thing, a little Renoir, quietly luminous. “I do,” he says. “It’s impossible not to.”
Taehyung definitely seems a little starstruck, watching Seokjin with a wide smile and attentive eyes—the sort of look he gives you whenever he’s shown something new. It’s nice to see him interact with other people, and it’s even nicer to know that he’s welcome to come here without you; Yoongi works from home, and Seokjin’s made it clear there’s an open door policy for Taehyung, who seems elated at the prospect.
“Jin said he’d teach me how to make ‘The World’s Most Delicious French Toast’,” Taehyung tells you later, words slipping together in his excitement. “So I can make that for your breakfast soon.”
His lap is so comfortable. You’ve given up any pretense of keeping distance between you, and settle against him as soon as you climb into bed—hey, if you’re going to end up doing it in your sleep anyway, you may as well set yourself up so that it doesn’t give you a weird crick in your neck. 
“That sounds great,” you say.
Taehyung’s hand settles on your head. You stiffen in surprise, but when he starts to lightly scritch his fingers against your scalp, you realise—he’s mimicking Seokjin, who���d eventually perched on the sofa above Yoongi, running his hands through his hair. Androids are fast learners indeed. You can’t help but relax at the touch, boneless, feeling as content as a pampered cat in the midday sun.
“Maybe you could teach him how to paint,” you murmur, starting to drift off. “If he’s teaching you how to cook. That might be fun. You could paint together.”
Taehyung says something, but you don’t hear him, sleepy after such a heavy dinner and tumultuous night, slipping into deep slumber.
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You haven’t been out with your friends for a long time.
“Shots!” Seulgi squeals. “Shots, shots, shots!”
“Don’t forget: lick, shoot, suck,” Hoseok says, waggling his eyebrows at you. 
“Good God,” you laugh, before you lick the salt off the back of your hand and slam back the tequila.
Irene hoots as you bite into the lime wedge that’s been waiting for you, sucking up the acidic juice that bursts across your tongue. Lick the salt, shoot the tequila, suck the lime. You haven’t done this in a while and it shows in the way your face scrunches, though the drunker you get, the easier it is to slip back into this familiar rhythm of things—the alcohol-loose banter that spills from your lips, the laughter that bubbles in the back of your throat, the rock of your body as you’re tugged into the dance floor by your excited friends, twisting yourselves into the heaving crowd, the press of bodies.
You’d almost forgotten what this felt like. Letting yourself be a little sloppy, a little messy. Letting loose. Letting go. You’ve been so intent on looking after Taehyung, making sure he wasn’t lonely, but now there are other people who can fill that hole for him—and you can stop dipping out of all the social gatherings your co-workers throw; the Friday night drinks, the bar hopping, the club going.
“We missed you,” Wendy says. You can’t help but smile, a little guilt flickering at the edges of your lips.
“Sorry,” you say, and leave it at that.
It’s chaotic, to say the least. Everyone holds their liquor with varying amounts of success—Hoseok always gets so red—and as always, Hyunwoo is the one who tries his best to maintain some semblance of dignity, making sure you all drink at least some water. He watches with muted despair as Changkyun ends up pouring it down himself, much to the delight of everyone nearby as they stare at the way his flimsy shirt clings to the lines of his chest and stomach. 
You can’t help but laugh and laugh and laugh, falling into your girls, your entire group giggling at the sheer stupidity of it all. 
You’ve missed this.
But even so, you can’t help but think of Taehyung constantly. You’re reminded of the Eden Club in the way the lights pulsate across the walls and floors of this dark building. You wonder if Taehyung would have fun here, unhindered and free, or if he’d shy away from it. When Hoseok catches your hand and spins you in a messy, loose circle on the dance floor, you can’t help but wonder how Taehyung would dance, if he’d dance with you, if he’d keep you at an arm’s length or pull you close.
“Shots!” Seulgi squeals again, and so the night goes on.
You’re not sure what time it is when you stumble back home. You’ve been reckless tonight, making up for lost time, and you can’t remember the last time you were this drunk. (Your earlier attempt at walking in a straight line, trying to follow the tiles in the club’s bathroom—your personal litmus test—had been a dismal failure.) You all but fall through your front door, a loose limbed mess as you kick off your high heels, leaning against the wall to keep your balance.
It takes you a moment to realise that there are some lights on. Your apartment is always dark when you come home after a night out, cold and empty, but not today. No, not today—because there’s someone already home, waiting for you.
The second Taehyung appears down the hallway, you light up. Here he is. Here’s your android, your lovely boy, the loveliest boy.
“Hi, hi, Taehyung, hi,” you say. Your shoes are forgotten as you walk towards him, though your final few steps go awry and you almost fall over. Drunk, drunk, drunk. “Hi.”
You almost fall over, but you don’t, because Taehyung catches you. His LED flickers from blue to yellow as he helps you find your balance, lets you lean on him. You’re too busy laughing at your own clumsiness to notice the fond expression on his face, sfumato soft in the dim light.
“Hi,” he replies.
“Hi,” you say again, and then you giggle. “Hi, Taehyung. Oh, I’m so drunk.”
“I know.” He’s so patient as you bow into him, crowding close, alcohol-hazed brain telling you to get closer to this source of warmth, this source of comfort. Closer to Taehyung.
You’re trying your best to be a functional person right now, but at the same time, Taehyung feels so nice. Doesn’t protest when you shove your face into the hollow of his neck, pressing your nose against his warm, warm skin. He smells good. Always smells good, a mix of your laundry detergent with his own shampoo, different to your own, masculine, heady. (He doesn’t need to shower that often, really, doesn’t really sweat or get dirty like a human might, but he’d wanted to. And you’d insisted that he choose his own toiletries, things that he liked, things that were his.)
He smells like cologne too. You don’t know what exact scents are layered in that smell. Don’t care. Think that no matter what it was, Taehyung would smell good, because it’s Taehyung. 
“I missed you,” you whisper, lips loose from tequila and cocktails and more besides. “Missed you, Tae.”
“Missed you too,” the android replies, and you fall into those words. Let yourself bask in them, as selfish as it is. Let your lashes flutter shut as you breathe Taehyung in-in-in.
You would normally never be so bold, but Taehyung doesn’t protest. He just wraps his arms around you and helps you fold yourself against him, two pieces of modular origami that slot together to create something bigger, more beautiful.
“Wished you were there,” you sigh, an exhalation of a confession, more to yourself than to anyone else. “Wish you could come with me.”
You don’t remember much detail after that. Don’t remember washing up, getting changed, climbing into bed. You just remember the feeling: of someone else being there when in the past there had been no one. Of someone coaxing you to wash your face, finding your pyjamas for you, holding your hand when it seems like you might fall. Of someone being careful with you, looking after you. Of someone being there when you wake up the next morning, a headache pulsing behind your eyes, curling up small against the pain, pressing your forehead into Taehyung’s thigh.
Taehyung, who witnessed you at your worst, a sloppy, drunken mess.
Taehyung, who has water and painkillers waiting for you. Who doesn’t seem to care that you’ve been so put together in front of him, for him, only to disassemble yourself in the name of a good night out. Like Da Vinci’s self supporting bridge, stable under its own weight, only to come tumbling down after one part is moved out of place.
“Oh, God,” you moan, and it’s only a little bit because of the pain; Taehyung’s made sure the curtains are pulled shut, saving you from sunshine blasting into your skull. “I’m sorry you had to see that. Oh, my God.”
“It’s okay,” he says, as soft and sweet as powdered sugar, so gentle the sound doesn’t cut through the pounding of your brain.
He means it, too. When you finally come around, headache dulled, he’s waiting for you with breakfast and an open expression on his face. No different to normal. No different even now that he’s seen that you’re not always as presentable as you try to be. He seems touchier today, for some reason, and you’d shy away if his cool hands didn’t feel so nice on your brow.
You allow yourself a moment of weakness. Taehyung has his knuckles resting against your forehead, soothing against your warm skin, his eyes dancing across your face to read your expression, the way you’re unwinding under his touch. 
“How do you know about hangovers?” You mumble.
“Customers would consume alcohol at the club,” Taehyung answers. “While they would leave after their sessions and before a hangover could appear, I am aware of the effects of alcohol on the human body.”
You remember the glittering mini-bar, the glass bottles lined up on its surface. Your face scrunches with distaste, of the reminder of Taehyung’s past and what he’s experienced, and you feel bad that he’s been forced to look after you. You’re about to draw away from his touch, an apology lined up on your tongue—but then you feel how his fingers shift away from your forehead, turning to cup your cheek.
“It’s okay,” he says again, as if reading your mind.
“It’s not,” you mutter. You’re trying not to focus on how small your cheek feels against his palm, how his hand cradles your face with ease. He must be able to sense how your heart is racing, your skin warm under his fingertips, and you hope he puts it down just to the guilt you feel and not anything else. “It’s not okay. You shouldn’t have to look after me. I’m sorry.”
“Please, don’t be.” Gentle, gentle, gentle; his voice, his hands, his gaze. He lifts his other hand, rests it against your other cheek, tilts your face up from where you’d turned away, embarrassed. His LED is a tranquil blue, almost as soft as his eyes. “You’ve done so much for me, and you’re always looking after me. Let me look after you.”
You want to protest, say no, say that he doesn’t have to. But for all the warmth of his eyes, there’s something resolute there, and your words die on your lips. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so serious before, so entirely solemn. So, what comes out of your weak mouth is this:
“Okay. Okay, Taehyung, I will.”
And the smile he gives you in response is so bright it’s almost blinding.
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If you’d thought Taehyung was developing at a fast rate already, he’s learning at lightspeeds now.
He’s always waiting when you come home, but you know he’s spending more and more time at the apartment across the hall whenever you’re not there, and it makes you happy. He hasn't ventured fully into the outside world, not yet, but he’s taking steps forward, still eager and ready to learn.
He’s not just learning practical things, like cooking French toast (which is definitely the world’s best, thank you Jin), but other things, too. You can see how Taehyung is a reflection of the things around him, taking them in and making them his own—there are more moments of quiet, solemnity that reminds you of Yoongi’s quiet nature, but he’s also more exuberant, bright and unabashed, like Seokjin. They’re two great people and you couldn’t wish for anyone better to show Taehyung parts of the world that you can’t, so different from your own. Helping the android find the things that make him alive.
His world has doubled in size, as small as it is; one apartment becomes two, and you’re not the only person he can rely on now. You know Seokjin has effectively taken Taehyung under his wing, as mysterious as a lot of that is to you—you always try your best to understand Taehyung and teach him the things you can, but Seokjin is another deviant, and there’s an entire world about being an android that you’re not privy to. 
It’s great. It’s lovely. Taehyung is happy, you’re happy, everyone’s happy. 
There’s just, uh. One little thing.
You see, Taehyung has a tendency to mimic the things he sees. It’s in the way he learns, his propensity to soak things up like a sponge and then recreate them. You can see this in the way he mixes paint, the same way as you; how he tosses food in pans, motions so similar to Jin’s, or how he cradles things in his hands, tapping at screens in a way that’s like Yoongi’s. He’s turning them into his own, and as time goes on he moves more naturally, in a way that’s entirely him, but you can always see the roots of where he’s learned things.
Jin and Yoongi are wonderful and you’re so glad Taehyung is learning from them. But something he’s learning, and recreating, is how much they touch each other.
Taehyung’s always been tactile but now it’s almost constant. It’s overwhelming and kind of terrifying but it’s also nice, every touch-starved inch of your soul easing under Taehyung’s hands, but also—Yoongi and Jin are boyfriends. So even if the touches that Taehyung witnesses and re-enacts are never inappropriate, they’re intimate. Hands sliding over your shoulders, your arms, your waist. Warm arms around you as he pulls you into a hug, nuzzles his nose against your scalp. His fingers sliding over your hair when your head is resting in his lap each night. Pulling you against him when you sit on the couch together.
It’s a level of familiarity and comfort you’ve never had with anyone before, as relationship-less as you’ve been, your pulse picking up with every glancing touch.
(There’s one heart stopping instance where he pulls you onto his lap and you feel like you’re about to pass out. His thighs are so solid and warm, and his arms are so secure around you, and he’s just started to press his nose against your neck when you pull away, tumble out of his hold. He looks confused and concerned, brows lifting and mouth falling open as he holds his hands out towards you—but you stammer out something about needing the toilet before escaping.)
You’re caught completely off-guard when you feel arms sliding around your waist and then down your hips when you’re washing dishes, scrubbing brush falling out of your grasp in shock and splashing water everywhere, bright yellow gloves flecked with suds. Taehyung’s a pillar of warmth pressed against you, his chest to your back, your bodies parallel lines that cross and touch. His fingers are splayed wide and his palms are warm even through your layers of clothing and you have to suppress a shiver.
“Uh, I didn’t hear you come back in,” you stutter. You’d borrowed a recipe book from Seokjin so that you could try cooking a coconut curry, and Taehyung had offered to return it once dinner was finished, LED flickering blue as he’d slipped out of the door after giving you a lovely smile.
Taehyung lets out a little hum, and you can feel it in his chest, as flush as you are with each other. He must be able to sense how your pulse has picked up but he doesn’t say anything. “Why are you washing up? I said I was going to do it.”
“Oh, it’s fine, I don’t mind,” you say. You’re used to cleaning up after yourself after living alone for so long. “Don’t worry about it.”
Taehyung lets out another hum, but this one seems a bit more gravelly, a little displeased. “You’re always doing so much for me, remember? You said you’d let me look after you,” he says, and your heart rate spikes at the words. Those, coupled with the hold he has on you right now? Good lord. Someone have mercy on your soul. Please. Even if the words weren’t meant in a weird way, your stomach is twisting over itself, and other parts of you are, uh… well. They’re reacting too. So to speak.
You’re still desperately trying to calm yourself in the shower later, the water a merciless cascade of cold in an attempt to cool down. Probably the only drawback about Taehyung living with you is that you haven’t had a chance for some one-on-one time. You might be a virgin but you live (lived) alone and everyone masturbates; your vibrators have been abandoned and untouched for as long as Taehyung has been in your life, and coupled with how touchy he’s been recently, it leaves you feeling wound up and on edge. You could try to sneakily get yourself off in the shower, but with Taehyung’s superior android hearing he’d probably hear something and also the idea of masturbating with someone else in the apartment? When that someone else is Taehyung?
You turn the knob as far as it will go towards cold and then promptly squeal as a wave of freezing water and regret washes over you.
When you’re in bed, Taehyung’s hand strokes over your hair and softly down your neck and shoulder is a sensation that’s becoming increasingly familiar, but your pulse still stutters. He must be able to sense your heart rate increasing (he must sense it every time he touches you) but says nothing about it. As always.
You turn the thoughts over in your head as it rests in his lap, even if you shiver a little at how his nails drag over the sensitive skin at the nape of your neck. Deviant androids might not have the sort of life experience that we do, but we don’t have theirs, either, Yoongi had said. You’ve been teaching Taehyung about the things you know, but there’s one thing that Taehyung knows better than you: touch.
He doesn’t even think about it. While you hesitate and overthink every touch you ever make, wary of overstepping boundaries, Taehyung doesn’t. Not because he’s not considerate, but because—well, because you’re already occupying each other’s space. What’s a little touching on top of all that?
The realisation is almost startling—that you can just… touch someone. Without saying things. Without having to ask. Because you’re already familiar with them and comfortable with them and it’s just another way to communicate that level of connection. Touching is a thing that people do. 
A thing that people and deviant androids do.
A thing that Taehyung does.
(A thing that you want to do, too.)
(Alcohol dulls your memories, fading the edges, the curled corners of a sepia photograph. Has you forgetting the way you’d overstepped every boundary you’d set yourself, the way you’d pressed yourself against Taehyung, starved of touch. Has you forgetting the way he’d let you; the way he’d beckoned you in. Has you forgetting the way that you already have touched Taehyung.)
The hand that Taehyung isn’t using to gently scratch across your scalp is laying on his thigh, directly in your line of vision. You hesitate for just a moment before reaching for it, sliding your fingers between his, an irrational worry that he’ll startle or pull away—but of course he doesn’t. His LED swirls soft aqua as he just starts to rub his thumb gently across your skin, back and forth, back and forth, the softest brushstrokes on this tiny part of the canvas of your body.
After that, it’s just… easier. Not easy, but, easier.
You still hesitate before pressing forwards, but Taehyung never protests; in fact you’d say he’s pleased, even if he doesn’t say anything, just watching you with his dark, dark eyes as you marvel at the realistic sensation of his hair under your hands, how he reacts to the fingers across his scalp the same way you do.
It’s incredibly nice to have someone you can just reach for whenever you want a hug. Someone who folds you into their arms so easily, like you belong there.
It’s nice.
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“You seem happier.”
You glance up from where you’ve been laying the table. “Hm? Pardon?”
One thing you’ve learned about Yoongi is that he’s incredibly perceptive. His eyes are sharp lines around the sharper graphite of his gaze, and there’s always a look in them that seems like he can see straight through you and direct into the heart of things—but he’ll only bring this to light if he thinks it needs saying.
“You seem relaxed,” Yoongi continues. He straightens the cutlery in front of him, careful to line the edges neatly with the place mat. Seokjin and Taehyung are cooking dinner, so it’s just you and Yoongi here, in a bubble away from the two androids. “Not that you were ever tense before, but… yeah. Taehyung seems happier too,” he adds, almost absently, but his eyes are fixed on your face.
“Well, of course,” you say. “He has new friends, who wouldn’t be happy?”
Yoongi hums, a quiet little note, but then he lets it rest.
Taehyung is happier. He seems almost nervous during dinner, though, even if he hides it well; his LED doesn’t give him away, but you’re getting good at reading Taehyung’s moods, the layers of personality and feeling he has, the little idiosyncrasies that make him who he is. To anyone else it would seem like he’s just nervous about whether the food tastes good or not—he and Jin had made a veritable feast for no discernable reason, but you don’t mind. Everyone loves a dinner party, especially when the company is so good. 
But, yes. You don’t think it’s about the food so you’re not sure what else it could be. You squeeze Taehyung’s knee briefly under the table in a motion you hope is reassuring. His eyes briefly widen but then his gaze softens when he sees the concern on your face, settling in that deep look of introspection you’re used to now. 
You’re so full by the time dessert comes out, rich and creamy homemade ice cream and piping hot Kkwabaegi, the twisted doughnuts fluffy and sweet with their powdering of sugar and cinnamon; you’d been planning on skipping the final course but you can’t say no once it’s put in front of you. Taehyung doesn’t eat, only drinks occasionally to top up his fluids (you don’t know exactly what that means but you’ve never asked, even if you can… assume things), but he seems content to watch the three of you eat in his place. Once you’re finished you slump back in your chair and feel grateful that you’re not wearing tight trousers that cut into your stomach, because, lord, you’re absolutely stuffed. 
“I have an announcement,” Taehyung says suddenly, apropos of nothing.
Seokjin beams. You sit up, struggling against the heavy anchor of dinner in your belly that makes you want to melt into the floor for a food nap, immediately at attention. “Oh? What is it?”
“I have a second name now,” he says, and Seokjin’s smile spreads impossibly wider, his entire face pleased. “Jin said I could share his.”
“Say hello to Kim Taehyung.” Seokjin gestures dramatically, his arms the flailing blades of a windmill as he circles them in the air with aplomb. “My boy needed a surname and I am, of course, happy to add another handsome face to the family. Taehyung is a ten out of ten.”
Yoongi levels him a look. “I thought you said you were the only ten in the world.”
“That was true when I said it, but I’m actually eleven out of ten,” Seokjin explains. His arms settle around his head, fingers circling the air in an invisible frame around his face. “I surpass your mortal conventions of beauty and thus exist outside of any conceivable scale that one might use to measure handsomeness.”
You barely take the exchange in, too busy looking at Taehyung. There’s the smallest smile on his lips, not the lovely one that shows his teeth, but it still reaches his eyes, the subtlest upturn to his mouth transforming his entire face. Taehyung’s beautiful. He always has been, and always will be, but he never looks more striking than when he’s happy, welcomed into a new family of his own with open arms, Seokjin’s heart so big and so wide. He’s being flippant and light right now, quick and sharp jibes between him and Yoongi that glow bright with love and affection, not lingering on how important and weighty this is: how all encompassing his care is for Taehyung, how close they’ve grown to each other, a friend whom he’s chosen as family.
Happiness suits Taehyung. You want him to always be happy. He deserves it.
It doesn’t seem like it’s the only announcement he has for that night, though. You’ve barely shut the door of your own apartment when you feel Taehyung’s hand slide around your wrist and you pause, glancing up at his face.
“Jin showed me how to take my LED out,” he says. His words are solemn and his tone is heavy but there’s a spark in his eyes, a glowing ember of light. “I want you to watch.”
His fingers are circled around your wrist, loose, so long they touch each other with ease, a soft shackle you don’t want to escape from. “Of course I will,” you assure him. “Are you worried something will go wrong?”
“No.” His thumb slips away from the soft skin of your inner wrist and across your palm, tracing across your fate line, your heart line. “I just want you to be there.”
Warmth spreads through your skin from that touch, leaking through into your bones, settling into every quiet corner inside you. “Okay. What do you need to do to get it out?”
The painting knife looks so small in Taehyung’s big, careful hand, the diamond shaped head blunt at the end, metal glinting under the bathroom’s light as he leans towards the mirror. Your gazes meet in the reflection and he falters. You’re about to ask what’s wrong when he lifts his free hand from where it’s been resting on the countertop, steadying him. Reaching for you.
Once your hand is in his, it’s over surprisingly quickly. Taehyung’s face twists in preparation for the pain, and you squeeze his fingers to ground him, but all it takes is a quick twist of his wrist once the palette knife is against his LED and it practically falls out. There’s a small clink as it drops next to the sink, blue light flickering one final time before it winks out, nothing more than a disc of metal, a tiny coin without value, but weighty with what it represents; invaluable, priceless. The last segment of a chain Taehyung has willingly cast off.
You can see the white skeleton of his android body, bare and naked where the LED had sat. Just like Seokjin’s hand when he’d cut himself, the skin starts to creep back over it, covering that smooth paleness until it’s gone. Taehyung lifts your hand and presses it against the side of his temple, your palm settling against the naked skin where the light had been nestled; Taehyung’s eyes fall shut, his hand pressed against your own as he holds it there.
“Taehyung?” Your voice is gentle, dripping concern. His golden skin is so warm and soft. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” he replies without hesitation. His eyes flutter open, lashes so long and lovely. His hair is blue today, a vibrant electric hue, gaudy on anyone else but perfect on him, tickling the back of your hand; his hand drops from yours and you take the opportunity to run it through that hair, baring his forehead to you, eyes sliding over the new skin. Flawless. No evidence that any LED had ever sat there, burning blue-yellow-red, a tiny drop of colour in the deep ocean of Taehyung’s emotions. “I feel good.”
You don’t even think when your hand shifts out of Taehyung’s hair and down to cup his cheek, something you wouldn’t have dared do before, but now the motion comes as easily as breathing. He takes comfort in touch and you want to soothe him. “Good,” you echo. “I’m glad.”
You both stand there for a few moments, facing each other. The bright light of your bathroom should wash Taehyung out, but of course, it doesn’t. It just lets you see all the perfect details of his face in even sharper relief—the moles that dot his skin, how his eyes are different, a monolid and double lid, little imperfections that just make him more beautiful. 
Logically, you know that someone, somewhere, sat down and put this face together. Taehyung was designed to be attractive, stunningly so, and yet not so perfect that an average human would find it unrealistic, swerving away from that uncanny valley that had plagued earlier androids. But that’s not why he’s beautiful—not to you. It’s everything hidden underneath that perfect facade, layers of plastic and metal and circuitry and biocomponents, deep inside him: his glowing golden heart, flowing over with whatever intangible thing that makes him the person that he is.
In the darkness of your bedroom, all the lights turned off, there’s no longer the gentle blue glow at Taehyung’s temple to shine out, but there doesn’t need to be. Even if you weren’t resting your head against his thigh you’d know he was there. Taehyung’s presence grows larger and larger in your life as the days go by, and you know that you’re still the most important person in his life, even with the introduction of Yoongi and Jin. After all—he didn’t ask them to be there when he took his LED out. 
You reach for his hand, which is already palm up, waiting for you. Your fingers slot together so perfectly, so wonderful, so lovely. You can’t make out details in this dark, but you can picture the smile that’ll be pulling at Taehyung’s lips, the affection flowing in the endless oceans of his eyes.
You’re in so, so deep.
(But who can blame you?)
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“I want to go outside.”
It’s not surprising that with the shedding of his LED, Taehyung finally feels bold enough to go outdoors. And yet, here you are. Surprised.
You’ve got a granola bar stuck in your mouth, halfway through a bite, and it nearly drops to the floor as your lips part in shock. Taehyung catches it with ease, android speed on show as he snatches it out of the air. 
Your knee-jerk reaction is to ask him to repeat himself. To make sure you haven’t misheard him, if he’s sure about this, if he really wants to—but Yoongi’s words come back to you yet again. If there’s something he wants to do, he’ll do it. Taehyung isn’t the uninformed android he was when he’d first made his way to your door. He’s grown and learned so much in the time he’s been here and there’s no room for self-doubt behind his words.
So what you say is: “Okay.” 
Taehyung’s fingers brush against yours when he hands your granola bar back, long and warm and soft. You accept it with a smile, lost in the way he smiles back, so lovely and bright—and you have to pull your train of thought back on track, lock those wheels on the rails before you speak again.
“Did you want to go somewhere specific? Or just wherever?”
“Wherever you want to go.” He’s smiling, a little excited but mostly happy at the prospect of spending yet more time with you; as if he hasn’t had enough of it, could never get enough, even when you spend every day together. 
(Your heart feels like a drum, pounding hard and loud in your chest.)
It’s not hard, really, to decide where you want to go. Taehyung’s not asking for some big production; just wants something quiet and soft, something new. The chance to see the outside world properly, safe and secure in the knowledge that you’ll be at his side.
It’s in your nature to be protective—sometimes you feel like you nag, like you’re overbearing, and takes a concerted effort on your part to reel it in. Taehyung doesn’t need you to fuss over him, and besides, he seems incredibly calm about the whole thing. Excited, yes, but not nervous. Just anticipatory.
He looks just like anyone else might. More chic and attractive, sure, effortlessly fashionable in the outfit he’s chosen for the day, but there’s nothing robotic about him, nothing to say he’s not a flesh-and-blood person. Once again, you’re struck by just how human he is. Even if he’d still had the LED flickering at his temple it would have done nothing to detract from the genuine emotion that flits across his face. The way he moves. The way he smiles, when he catches you watching the way he laces his shoes with his delicate, pretty hands—that big lovely smile that makes you feel warm and soft.
(Warmer and softer than it probably should.)
You avert your gaze, pretend to fiddle with one of your bracelets, pulling it so that it spins around your wrist.
“Ready?”
“Nearly,” Taehyung says. When you look back at him, a little confused, he still has that smile on his face, though it’s gentler, fuzzy around the edges, his eyes dark-dark-dark. “Just one more thing.”
This final thing, it turns out, is your hand. 
His fingers lace with yours, weaving a tapestry of closeness and warmth. You’ve held Taehyung’s hands so often, now; it’s nothing new. But for some reason the touch of his skin against yours has your pulse stuttering, catching in your throat before you cough lightly and smile like everything is fine, you’re fine, it’s not like your heart is about to launch itself out of your chest for some mysterious reason.
(Mysterious. Yeah, right.)
He doesn’t let go. Not when you leave the apartment, not when you greet Rory at the door, not when you step onto one of the automated buses that takes you to the centre of the city. You’re surprised at how good Taehyung’s acting is, how all the wide-eyed excitement you’d expected to see splashed across his face is absent, and instead, he just squeezes your hand tight each time he takes in something new; stares out of the window as your surroundings slide by.
He does get excited in the art store though. Pulls at your joined hands each time he sees something he wants to point out to you—which seems to be everything. And you go, of course, following his eager feet. Taehyung’s happiness has always given you happiness in turn, and watching his sheer, unadulterated joy at being able to see things, to touch things outside of the small world he’s been confined to since he escaped the Eden Club—well. There’s nothing better.
There’s nothing better than knowing that Taehyung feels safe with you, wants to keep you close. It’s selfish. It’s selfish, you know it is, but when you watch the way his eyes light up at the sight of a set of gouache paints, how he immediately turns towards you so you can see it too—you realise that you’ve never had something like this before. Sure, you have friends, you have plenty of happiness in your life, but you’ve never had this.
(Whatever this is.)
Someone whose joy is only compounded when it’s shared with you. Someone whose focus is on you and no one else. You see the looks that Taehyung gets, the interested eyes that flit over him—but then he reaches for your hand again, and those gazes slide away, because he hasn’t looked away from you. Not once.
Because you make him feel safe, you remind yourself. Because he knows you best. That’s it. 
It’s what you keep telling yourself, a repeated mantra that’s an endless loop in your head. Every time Taehyung looks at you, smiles at you, reaches for your hand, your touch—even if your heart feels like it could burst, filling up with this feeling, this feeling that’s growing and growing (this feeling you refuse to name)—it’s because he trusts you, knows he can rely on you. It’s nothing more than that. 
You shouldn’t let yourself imagine that it’s more than that.
(Shouldn’t hope for more than that.)
It’s because he trusts you that he follows you without question, matching his pace with yours, side by side as you wander through the city. He insists on carrying all your shopping, held effortlessly in one hand, other hand still tangled with yours. (You see the way he swings the bags a little, back and forth; he’s so cute you’d swear your teeth could rot from it, crystallised sugar rolled on your tongue, sweet.) All your shopping is done, but you have one final stop planned—it’s somewhere you haven’t been for a while, but you love it.
You’re certain Taehyung will, too.
You can feel how his hold on your fingers tightens when the building comes into view. You glance over at him to take in his expression, the subtle widening of his eyes, the lift of his chest as he takes an unneeded breath in, the tiniest curl at the corner of his lips.
(So human.) 
The Christine Andrews Gallery isn’t the biggest art gallery in the city, but it’s your favourite. There’s something that feels more intimate about it, with its size; a little smaller, cosier, more stripped down. The high ceilings overhead are crisscrossed with wires and piping, industrial—but the walls are pure white, all the brighter in contrast to their surroundings, drawing the eye to the paintings on display from the moment you step in.
Taehyung is enraptured.
“The exhibition is called Slow Painting. The idea is that people will take their time to really take everything in, and appreciate it, rather than just rushing by. Especially with how quickly technology is developing, and people are used to discarding things as soon as they're not relevant any more. The idea is that art will always be relevant, regardless of what's happening in the world.”
Your voice is quiet and low as you’re careful not to disturb the serene air that fills the building. You’ve always loved the quiet hush that fills galleries, museums, buildings filled with art and history, long lasting echoes of humanity, on display for people to enjoy. 
“And it also refers to the time it takes to create each piece too,” you add, trailing off into silence as you glance over at Taehyung, who’s looking at you, blinking gentle and slow.
He’s watching you. Even though there’s artwork in sight of the entrance, huge canvases nearby—Taehyung is looking at you, attentive and quiet, listening to each word you have to say.
Your heart squeezes in your chest and you have to make a concerted effort to stop your breath from stuttering. You shove it down, down, down, this thing that’s wrapping itself around your heart and clogging your throat, and give this lovely boy your best smile. (Try to ignore the fact that there’s art here, but instead, he’s looking at you.)
“Tell you what. Instead of listening to me harp on all day, why don’t we just look around?”
When Taehyung had first stepped foot in your door, had first started to experience life as something more than just a sexbot, an android under the control of other people’s wills—he’d taken everything in with huge eyes, eager and enthusiastic, almost clumsy in his excitement. That’s faded over time, become muted as he’s learned how to balance himself, grown comfortable with his surroundings, who he is.
He’s still like a fountain sometimes, bubbling and bright, overflowing, cascading pearlescent waters rushing over carved marble. You’d expected these waters to rise and spill, surrounded by these incredible artworks; so far the only works he’s seen in person are his and your own, everything else small and secondhand on screens as he stares intently at your computer, your tablet. You’d expected his joy to overflow, being able to really see for the first time in his life, prepared yourself for his exuberant happiness.
But he’s not.
He’s quiet. There’s a smile that lingers on his lips, barely hidden at the corners of his mouth, but his shining waters flow soft and slow, contained. You wander through the exhibition exactly the way the curator had meant for you to—slowly, carefully, stopping and pausing and looking and wondering, eyes trailing over each painting, acrylic on paper, oil on canvas, distemper on linen. Each so different, but inviting onlookers to take a moment and just breathe. 
Taehyung’s eyes are dark, contemplative. They’re so deep you feel like you could fall in them and be lost forever. (Wonder if that would be such a bad thing.) He keeps his hand in yours, your hand in his, the two of you matching paces as you loop the gallery, never letting go.
“Oh,” he breathes. “Oh, I like these.”
Four canvases, smaller than some of the others you’ve seen, squirrelled around a corner and hidden away on a back wall. Each painting has a figure in the midst of some simple, quiet task; laying in bed, catching an egg as it threatens to roll off a table, trailing a finger through a puddle of spilled milk, reading a book in the bath. Each of the figures has their face turned away from the viewer, caught up as they are in the simple motions of their life, each silhouetted by a window with a different view—from sea to lake to hill to forest.
You can’t help but look at Taehyung as he looks at these paintings, his brows a little raised, mouth a little slack, the lovely line of his jaw, the angles of his face, forehead to nose to lips to chin. “What do you like about them? The style?”
His answer comes unrushed, unhurried, as he thinks.  “They’re so beautiful and detailed, but it’s more about… the intimacy,” he says. “Each person is just being themselves, without fear of who’s watching. We’re watching them, even if their attention isn’t on us.” A pause, a hush, a breath. “It’s like love, almost.”
Your lips part, even as Taehyung keeps his eyes forwards, staring at the blank pages of the book the man reads as he sits in his bath, row of shampoo bottles on the sill by his head. 
“Like love?” A whisper.
“To keep your eyes and focus on someone who isn’t looking at you,” Taehyung replies, unabashed, like it’s just a statement of fact. “Loyalty. Dedication. Love.”
Words fail you. Silence is the only answer you can offer to Taehyung’s thoughts, the air in your lungs trapped there as you unwittingly hold your breath, lips parted around a sentence that never comes. Taehyung’s eyes slide away from this row of paintings and to you, how you’re staring at him, literally speechless.
His own lips part as he makes to say something else, to ask what’s wrong—when there’s a flicker of movement nearby, the modulated steps of someone who’s used to walking through a gallery, careful to keep the calm air unmuddied by their passing.
“Oh, Y/n!”
Namjoon’s voice cuts through the silent moment and splinters the delicate air that had started to crystallise around you. He looks happy to see you, dimples on full display as his lips lift and he smiles wide.
“Namjoon!” You don’t think you’ve ever been so glad to see his familiar face in your life—anything to distract you, any excuse to shake off the feeling that Taehyung’s words have left behind, trailing over your skin, blooming in your brain. His timing is perfect, even if he doesn’t realise it.  “Hey! It’s been a while.”
“I was going to say, I haven’t seen you around lately! I thought you’d like this exhibition, I was wondering if you’d come. Oh, sorry, I’m being rude, aren’t I? Hi, I’m Namjoon,” he says, holding a hand out for Taehyung to shake. “I’m one of the gallery managers.”
Taehyung’s exchanged a few words with others today, polite thank yous to the people who’ve served you in the shops you’ve been into, given shy smiles to passersby who’ve made eye contact with him. (So, so sweet, always.) 
But Namjoon is the first person to properly introduce themselves to him in the real world, as you’ve thought of it, someone who doesn’t know that the man at your side is an android.
You panic. Just for a second.
Taehyung doesn’t.
“Hello.” He has to take his hand out of yours, the other weighed down by shopping, although he seems reluctant to let go of you. He gives Namjoon his widest smile as he shakes the proffered hand with firm, friendly politeness. “I’m Taehyung. It’s lovely to meet you, Namjoon.”
And then he immediately slips his hand back into yours.
Namjoon is utterly charmed.
(Of course he is. How could he not be?)
The discussion they both have is a quiet one. You’re happy to stay uninvolved, watching and listening as they talk, still at Taehyung’s side. That brief moment of panic, that blazing forest fire of fear for him—it’s been washed away, soothed by the way the conversation between man and android unfolds so naturally, Namjoon none the wiser about Taehyung’s robotic origins.
There’s no way anyone would realise. He’s so human, in the way he moves and acts and thinks, the way he laughs at something Namjoon says. You’re happy that Taehyung can be here with you, in this gallery, speaking to someone new, as if this is normal, natural, nothing unusual.
You can’t think of anything you want for Taehyung more.
You realise, too, that in this moment, you feel utterly content. Not just for Taehyung, but—happy that you’re there to share this moment with him. You think about how you’ve always wanted this; someone to share things with, someone whose happiness makes you happy too.
When Taehyung laughs, your own lips lift in response, heart lifting at the sound of his joy, at how his fingers tighten around yours. Remembering that you’re there, even if he’s not looking at you right now, eyes on Namjoon.
He’s looking at Namjoon. You’re looking at him. 
(To keep your eyes and focus on someone who isn’t looking at you.)
(Loyalty. Dedication.)
(A breath.)
(Love.)
You carefully pull your hand out of Taehyung’s. Your fingers feel cold as they slip away from his, warmed all day, pressed against Taehyung’s soft skin. His eyes flit away from Namjoon, those deep eyes settling on you; dark wood and ground coffee, so warm.
“Y/n?”
“I’m just going to pop to the toilet,” you say, turning away from the tinge of confusion that colours Taehyung’s voice. “I won’t be long.”
The toilet lid is cold. You can feel how it seeps through the layers of your clothing to your thighs, and at any other time you might wrinkle your nose at the sensation, at how uncomfortable it is. But right now, you have other things on your mind.
You bury your face in your hands. It’s foolish, but you’d swear you could feel Taehyung still in your palms, touch imprinted, emblazoned on your skin. It’s like a palpable thing, almost, this ethereal thing that lingers even when Taehyung isn’t there.
Wishful thinking. Selfish thinking. Selfish, to like it, to want to keep that feeling close; let it spread from your palm, to the delicate skin of your wrist, tracing its way up your arm, up-up-up, drawing invisible lines over every part of you, inside every part of you. Selfish, to like Taehyung’s touch as much as you do. To want more of it. 
(More of him.)
You aren’t anything more to Taehyung than a friend. A guardian. Someone who’s there to support him and keep him safe. You’re blessed to have his trust, to be able to be that person he can turn to—it’s greedy, to want. To want to be more.
(You can’t foist your loneliness on Taehyung. You can’t do that to him. You won’t. You won’t.)
When you return, a spark lights in Taehyung’s eyes. The same spark that bursts every time he sees you after time apart, no matter how long or short that may be. He reaches for your hand, and of course, you go—but your fingers are limp, weak.
(You know that if Taehyung’s LED had still been nestled in his skin, it would have flickered yellow.)
You keep that point of connection as you bid Namjoon goodbye, finish meandering through the exhibition, make your way back home—but you let Taehyung bear the weight. Reactive, not proactive. You don’t squeeze his fingers just because you want to, because there’s something sliding by the bus’s window you think he might like to see; you’re not here to make him do things, to shove things down his throat. You should just be here to support him in the things he wants to do. That’s your role. 
And that’s where you’re going to stay.
Your thoughts are a tumble, messy and unorganised, a ball of yarn that’s all knots and tangles. Taehyung must be able to see it on your face, read it in your body, his android eyes scanning over you and scrutinising every hint you’re giving away without even realising. But you just smile, wave away his questions, and act like everything’s okay. Normal. Routine.
It’s a little harder, though, to act like everything’s okay when it’s time to sleep.
Because, of course, there Taehyung is. Like he has been, from the day he’d arrived—sat in your bed, nestled against a pile of cushions, expression open and warm and fond as he looks at you. Waiting for you to climb in, to rest your head in his lap; waiting for you to fall asleep with his gentle fingers dragging across your scalp, melting under his lovely hands.
You waver. Conflicted. It’s okay, isn’t it, if Taehyung’s reaching for you first?
His eyes meet yours. The second you see his lips curve up, see that pretty, quiet smile appearing on his lovely mouth, you fold.
It’s fine. You’ll allow yourself this.
(In your dreams, you stand in a deserted gallery, staring at the single piece of work on the stark white walls, all the lights focused in, in, in. Taehyung’s framed on this canvas, a painted window into his world. Not once does he look at you, turned away as he is; you see nothing more than the back of his head, the curve of his cheek, the vaguest hint of his nose as he turns, always staring at something else. 
And still, you stand, and you watch. Waiting. Keeping your eyes on him, always.)
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“You’re staying late again.”
“Yeah. I really want to get this done,” you say, gesturing vaguely at your monitors with your stylus; tweaking, editing, shifting around these final few magazine pages before you’re satisfied. “Nearly there.”
When you hear the way Hoseok says your name, you glance up. 
As someone who spends most of his time bouncing around like a literal ray of sunshine, when Hoseok’s expression is one that isn’t smiling, it carries all the more weight behind it. Right now his face is uncharacteristically serious, the perpetual smile on his mouth gone, the line of his brows severe.
It’s unnerving.
“You haven’t stayed late for ages,” Hoseok points out. “Until this week, and suddenly you’re late every night. Has something happened?���
“No,” you lie.
Yes, you think.
You’re trying to create some distance, for Taehyung’s sake. So that you’re not tempted to pull him ever closer, latch onto him like you have been, smothering him. He needs space to grow. Space from you has helped already—the time he spends with Yoongi and Seokjin is evidence enough of that, after all. He doesn’t need you to be there constantly.
Hoseok’s eyes bore into yours as he stares, so you avert your gaze, pretending to shift your focus to one of the captions the editor has left on the page you’re working on. You hadn’t realised that he’d noticed. You should have expected it, though. Hoseok is a close work friend and he’s incredibly perceptive, especially when he cares about people.
“Alright,” he says, eventually. “Make sure you don’t stay too late, though. Get some sleep.”
You give him a thumbs up without looking away from the screen, dragging something idly with your stylus until Hoseok leaves, the office empty except you, now. And the cleaning androids, when they appear for the night like clockwork. As they always do.
You can’t help but stop to watch them, how blank faced they are, for all that they look human. Their LEDs are almost motionless, the placid blue matching the blank expressions on their faces, unthinking automatons.
(You’d seen androids in the city when you’d been out with Taehyung, of course. Completing menial tasks: city androids picking litter and raking leaves, household androids following their owners around and carrying their shopping. You’d realised that Taehyung wouldn’t have seen a non-deviated android since he’d escaped the club, lapsed into silence; you’d pulled him to a stop, lips pursed in a frown as you’d tried to read his expression. 
“Taehyung,” you’d asked. “Are you alright?”
There’d been a quiet pause, and in that moment you’d felt all your worries rising, caught in your throat—but then he’d nodded quietly, looking at you with soft eyes.
“I’m alright,” he’d answered. “I was just thinking about how lucky I am.”
I’m the lucky one, you’d thought. Lucky to know him, as sweet-hearted and wonderful as he is. You’d squeezed his hand, and he’d smiled gently at you, and that had been that.)
It hurts, honestly. To see the expression on his face each time you come home late, each time you avoid answering his questions. There’s uncertainty laid across each of your interactions, rough bristles of a brush varnishing discomfort across the once smooth surface of your relationship; but you can’t keep taking advantage of this soft-hearted boy, of the circumstances that he’s in.
You pretend that things are fine. Taehyung is clearly confused, unsure, trying so hard to find out what’s wrong, even when you keep gently turning his concerns aside. 
You haven’t been home enough to spend time with Yoongi or Seokjin, either. You’d seen Jin in the hall just once, made eye contact just as he’d been appearing from the other apartment and you’d been stepping into yours; you’d fumbled a little, fingerprints smudging across the keypad as your door had swung open. You’d expected to see judgement on Jin’s face, maybe, something heavy and weighty, his gaze flitting over you as he read you in the way he did so often.
What you hadn’t expected was for him to smile. It’d been hard to translate his full expression but what little you could read was knowing, like he’s aware of something he shouldn’t be, kept hidden just underneath his tongue. Ready to release it into the world with a single breath.
(Needless to say, you’d shut the door pretty quick.)
He and Yoongi have gone away for the weekend. It's a small blessing, saving you from having to see Jin’s almost-smug expression again. But it means that Taehyung has nowhere else to go right now, no reason to leave the apartment. So it’ll be you and him, him and you, with no buffers, nothing. It’s been unseasonably stormy for the past few days as well, rain slammed into your windows by the harsh winds, the world outside a haze of smeared grey—so it’s not like you can go out, either. 
Not that you would want to. 
You hadn’t realised exactly how ingrained Taehyung was in your life until you’d started to pull away. It’s not just that you live together and share the same physical space—it’s just that your days have become so full of Taehyung-Taehyung-Taehyung, and you hadn’t even noticed. He’d crept up on you, snuck his way into your heart, so easily, so effortlessly.
You remind yourself that that’s why you’re doing this. To remind yourself of life without Taehyung in it, because he’s not yours to have or to keep. He never has been. You don’t want him to be: he’s his own person. This… this desire for him; even as you try to ignore it, it keeps growing and growing: wet plaster laid down, your feelings for him painted buon fresco, added to day by day, giornata. You need it to stop. 
But it’s hard. It’s hard, when Taehyung looks like comfort, your comfort, when you want to let yourself be folded into his arms. It’s hard when the fact is that it’s not that you have to spend time with him. It’s that you want to spend time with him.  
It's hard.
(And you miss him, even when he's right there.)
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You find respite in art, in painting, too intent on the motions of your work to allow yourself room to think about other things. Fall into the rhythm of it all, a quiet hush stealing over your mind, a place of both focus and calm, world settling into place around you. There’s a piece you’ve been working on for a while, a hand rising from dark water, fingertips just broaching its surface, the most tentative of touches; you layer more oil paint on the panel, dragging the bristles of the brush across the colour you’ve already laid down, brows furrowed as you do.
Taehyung normally paints with you, but not today. He knows you want space—even if he doesn’t know why—so he gives it to you. So considerate and sweet, always. Even when you’re shutting him out. You’ve been here all day: morning, afternoon, and now evening, and he’s only been in a few times, to leave you food, drinks, looking after you in a way you don’t deserve.
You’ve just lifted the brush from the canvas when an especially loud peal of thunder rolls through the air outside. The rumble starts low, rising into a rattling growl that feels like it’s shaking the very earth. It almost drowns out the sound of Taehyung’s quiet knocking, a curl of his knuckles against the open door, but you catch sight of him anyway, glancing over your shoulder.
“Hey,” he says. “I thought you might like a drink.”
He’s barefoot, like he usually is, teal hoodie and grey sweatpants baggy, looking every inch the boyfriend you’ve always wanted and never had. His hands are cupped around a mug, steam coiling from the hot tea inside, and something in your heart twinges at his kindness and consideration even as you smile at him.
“That sounds lovely, Tae,” you say, and he takes this as an invitation to step inside, although you notice his steps are far more hesitant than they might have been before. Like he’s treading on eggshells around you. 
It’s awkward. Stilted. Taehyung’s eyes are heavy on your face as you accept the tea from his hands, trying your best to avoid brushing fingers; you turn away, pretending to turn your attention back to the drying paint on the wood panel that rests on your easel, anything to break eye contact.
And then he speaks.
“You’re avoiding me.”
Your lips are poised to drink, pursed at the rim of the mug when you freeze, eyes darting back to him.
“You’re avoiding me,” he repeats. His voice is quieter, tinged with all the confusion you’ve seen flit across his face since this whole thing started.
You slowly pull the mug away from your face, steam touching your skin like warm, wet fingers. “I’m not,” you say, even though the lie tastes bitter on your tongue. “We live together, Taehyung, it’s pretty hard to avoid you.”
When you laugh lightly, trying to lift the atmosphere, Taehyung doesn’t respond. If anything the air becomes heavier, his face an unmoving mask as his eyes churn with emotion. His LED might not be nestled in his temple any more, but you don't need to see it spinning in a distressed circle of yellow to know that Taehyung is confused.
“Why are you lying to me?”
Your eyes widen. He’s never been so direct before. (He hasn’t needed to be though, has he? Because you've never lied to him before, have you?)
“I just… I just want to know what happened. What I did wrong. I want to fix it,” Taehyung continues, and he sounds so small, so vulnerable. “Please?”
Your heart feels like it’s risen from your chest, up to your throat, making it hard to breathe. The only time he’s ever sounded like this was when—
When he’d first turned up on your doorstep, wet and scared and lonely. Not knowing if there was anyone he could trust, uncertain where he stood. 
“You didn’t do anything, Taehyung.” You try to put every ounce of feeling into your words and let him know that this is the truth. It’s not him. It’s not. “You didn’t do anything, please don’t think you did.”
“Then why are you avoiding me?” His voice rises, shaking, a bird trying to take flight on a broken wing. “If I didn’t do anything then why are you being like this? I don’t understand.”
“I’m just… trying to encourage you to be independent?”
The words sound weak to your own ears, so you can’t blame Taehyung for when his expression flickers and he looks almost incredulous.
“Independent?”
“You know,” you explain lamely. “Like… giving you space to grow. You don’t need me around all the time.”
“I don’t—” He cuts himself off. “Y/n. I want you to be there.”
“Because it’s what you’ve gotten used to.” You glance down at the drink in your hands, away from his sincere, dark eyes. “You’re just saying that because of circumstances, Taehyung.”
“I’m not!” You’ve never heard Taehyung so loud before, almost angry, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “How can you think that?”
“Because it’s true!” Your own voice rises despite yourself, matching his, some frayed thing inside you finally snapping. “Why else would you want me around? No one else does! Why would you?”
You rarely raise your voice. You hate being loud, or rude, hate arguments, but there’s something boiling in your blood. Years of quiet self-deprecation, constant reminders of how you’re not really wanted; last choice, always. Single, always. Untouched, unwanted. Taehyung—beautiful, kind, sweet, lovely Taehyung—wouldn’t be here right now if he had anywhere else to go. Too beautiful and kind and sweet and lovely for you, as disappointing, undesirable as you are.
Because that’s the truth. Even if you’re surrounded by friends, warm and bright, at the end of the day, they go home with each other, to their lovers, their families, and you go home alone. At least you had, until Taehyung—and he’s only here because you were the only safe place he could run to. Not because he chose you. 
(No one chooses you. Why would they?)
Taehyung’s eyes are so big and round as he stares and stares and stares. His lips are a little parted around a soundless noise of surprise, disbelief, before he opens his mouth to respond properly.
And then all the lights go out.
Lightning flashes, throwing the room into sharp focus for just a second before the night is split apart with the loudest clap of thunder yet. Like the ground has split open, louder than anything you’ve ever heard in your life; you’d swear your teeth rattle in your skull, that’s how overwhelming and close it is.
You suck in a breath as you jump, hands jolting, and the mug falls from your grasp. You can’t see in the darkness but you can hear how it shatters, sending hot tea splattering over the dust sheets on the floor, away from you, but towards—
“Taehyung,” you gasp, reaching out blindly. “Are you okay? Did it hit you?”
You hear him move closer, feel his fingers, reaching for yours confidently in this dark space. His grip is solid and warm and he squeezes, reassuring.
“I’m okay,” he murmurs. “I’m okay. You can’t see?”
“It’s too dark.” With the heavy clouds outside and the blanket of thick rain, there’s little light from the moon to shine into your studio, leaving you in a world of thick black and blue. “Can you see?”
“Android senses,” he answers. "I can see enough."
You wait for the lights to come back on so you can clean up the mess that’s scattered on the floor. And you wait. One beat. Another beat.
“I don’t think the power is coming back on any time soon,” you say. “Um.”
“Hold on.” You can’t make out Taehyung’s features in this all consuming darkness, but you can picture the expression on his face, the concern that bleeds through into his words. “If you move you’ll step on something and hurt your feet. Hold on,” he says again, and then lets go of your hands.
“Taehyung? What are you—”
You let out an embarrassing squeal as you feel the world tilt, but Taehyung’s grip on you is confident and sure as he lifts you, one hand under your knees and the other scooped around your back. Like you’re a swooning, blushing bride.
“Taehyung!”
“It’s the safest thing to do.” He sounds determined, no room for argument, so you decide to shut up.
Even though you know how strong he is, with all his android strength, you can’t help but reach out in the darkness, looping your arms around his neck to try and help lighten his burden. You feel your cheeks burn and you hope that the darkness saves you from your obvious embarrassment. 
The power still hasn’t come on by the time he deposits you in the kitchen, easing you to the floor with a level of care and delicacy that leaves something in you aching. When you check your phone—mostly charged, thank God—it seems like powercuts have hit this entire part of the city, and there’s no ETA on when things will be back up and running.
Which leads you to this. Sitting on the cold tiles of your kitchen floor, a few large candles flickering light across you as you dig into a carton of melting ice cream that you’ve saved from your freezer, licking the dripping flavours of sea salt and caramel from the spoon. 
Taehyung is sitting next to you in this flame-lit bubble you share, quiet even as the world outside is full of the sound of endless rain and lightning. He’d helped you navigate the darkness, settled you safely before going to find some candles; looking after you while you can’t see and he can.
You’re intent on the ice cream, leaning against the kitchen cabinets and carton settled between your knees as you use it as an excuse not to talk.
Taehyung, though, is intent on you.
“Y/n?”
His voice breaks the near silence, soft around your name. You pause, half-way through scooping another spoonful of ice cream to your mouth. There’s something in his tone that you’ve never heard before, from anyone, something you can’t put a finger on.
“Yes?”
“You said that no one wants you around,” he says. Your fingers tighten around the handle of your spoon and keep your gaze cast down, at the thick drip of cream from your spoon that threatens to spill. “Why would you say that?”
You don’t respond. Not right away. 
Then you take in a deep breath, letting the spoon fall back into the tub.
“Because they don’t,” you say plainly. “I mean… Taehyung. I was only at the Eden Club because my friends know that I’m perpetually single. I’m glad I got to meet you, so glad, but… I live alone because no one wants to be here with me.”
You’ve never said anything like this out loud before; kept your lingering loneliness close to your chest. Really, in most parts of your life, you’re content, but sometimes you can’t help but be pulled under by the heavy feeling of how unlovable you are. Even if you try to remind yourself that you’re worth being loved too. 
(After all, if you were—then why are you still here alone?)
“I do. I want to be here with you.”
Taehyung’s words are soft and gentle and low, but for all their tenderness, you can’t help but sigh.
“Like I said, Taehyung, it’s just circumstances.” A murmur. “You’re only here because you have to be—”
“I’m not.” He interrupts you; something he’s never done before. It shuts you right up, even if his words aren’t sharp. Emphatic, yes, but soft around the edges. “I chose to come here because of you. You’re the only person who’s ever made me feel safe. Even when I was at the club, and I didn’t know anything except what I was told to do—I knew I could trust you. I only started to remember things after we met, and I was there for weeks before I left, finally remembering the things I had to go through. Again and again and again. Over and over and over. No one was ever kind to me, not once. Not once.” 
“Taehyung,” you breathe, sadness filling your chest for him, but he doesn’t stop. 
“People would come in, take what they wanted from me, and then they would leave. They didn’t care about me. They would just tell me what to do and I’d have to listen, be the perfect android they wanted, that they’d paid for. Then I ran. But even as I was running here, I was scared. I thought that maybe it was a fluke. Maybe I was wrong. I was scared that maybe you weren’t actually kind, maybe it was a lie, maybe you were just like all the other humans—but anything was better than the club. So I took my chances. And you let me in. You let me in and you were so kind. You give and give and give and you’ve never asked for anything back.”
“I just did what anyone else would,” you mutter, glancing away, shy.
“But you didn’t. You were the only person who ever looked at me as something more than just an android. Don’t you see that? Even after giving me so much, you haven’t asked for anything. I try my best to look after you, but…” Taehyung takes in a deep, deep breath, sucking in air that his android body doesn’t need. You’ve noticed that it’s something he does to ground himself; such a human thing to do. “I want to give you so much more than you’ll ever accept.”
You look at him, something sparking deep and low in your stomach. “You don’t have to give me anything, Taehyung.”
Light dances across the perfect angles of his face, candle flame painting him from second to second, shadow and radiance. He looks familiar and unfamiliar all at once. You’ve known him for long enough, stared at him for long enough that you could paint his face in your sleep; the strength of his brows, the depth of his eyes, the slant of his nose, the flush of his lips; the tiny moles that are scattered across his skin, the perfect line of his jaw, his chin.
But in the paltry candlelight, he looks like an altogether different person, almost. There’s something to the set of his face that you’ve never seen, hard to track in the ever changing light—not the soft domesticity you’ve grown familiar with from Taehyung, and not the sheer, overwhelming sensuality of V. Something that’s both, something that’s not, something that’s more. 
“I want to give you everything. I want to. Y/n, I want. Androids don’t want, but I want. I want, I want, I want.” A repeated mantra; a prayer. “I want because of you. I want to be here with you. I want to spend time with you. I want to learn with you. I want to know everything you like and everything you don’t like. I want to know what makes you sad and what makes you happy. I want to be one of the things that makes you happy, like you make me happy. I want to look after you. I want you to let me love you. I want you. I want you. I love you.”
Your mouth is open, caught in a breath, stuttered in your throat. Taehyung doesn’t shy away from your wide-eyed, speechless gaze, staring back at you with an intensity you thought you’d never see directed at you; tenderness and affection and want.
“You want to—you… you love me?” Your voice is weak with disbelief. Taehyung loves you? 
“I thought you knew, and that’s why you pulled away,” he says. “Because I’m an android, I’m not good enough—”
“What? No, Taehyung, never, no. I would never think that—” 
“But you were pushing me away.” For the first time since this conversation started, he sounds unsure, the tiniest tremble at the corner of each word. “You were pushing me away and I don’t know why. Why?” He reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers between yours. “Aren’t you happy with me?” 
You wonder how fast your heart is beating. Know that Taehyung will be able to read it, palm to palm, his skin against yours, an endless amount of information running from that point of contact and up his arm; following lines of circuitry and neural connectors, up-up-up, pulled into whatever part of his system counts as his brain, dissected so much faster than the human brain could comprehend. But even with all this information, all this incredible processing speed and power—he’s just as confused and uncertain as any other person might be.
“I am. I am happy. So happy,” you whisper. Then you take a deep breath, grounding yourself just like Taehyung had. “I’ve never been so happy before, Taehyung. You make me happy.”
The android smiles. Quiet but undeniably happy as well, his eyes so dark, so soft. “You make me happy, too,” he says, and then he lets out a small laugh, a sweet little thing, like the scrape of a spoon around a mixing bowl. “I can only feel happiness because of you. You’re everything.” 
But then the laughter fades, and he’s looking back at you with solemnity, lingering confusion. “If I make you happy, then why were you pulling away from me?”
You stare at where your hands are joined, Taehyung’s hand under yours, lifting yours up and away from the cold tiles of the floor. “Because,” you start. Stumble. Take in another breath, heart squeezing in your chest. “Because I was scared my feelings were too much.”
A beat of silence. Then you feel Taehyung’s other hand as he lays it softly against your cheek to turn you towards him. It’s terrifying, how close your face is to his. Completely vulnerable, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. He doesn’t say anything, just watches, and you find yourself crumbling in the face of his warm gaze.
“Because I thought I was taking advantage of you,” you say. Slow and faltering. “Because I thought it was—I thought I was being selfish. I realised that I loved you, and I can’t—I couldn’t imagine that… I couldn’t imagine that you wanted me back.”
Taehyung’s eyes flutter shut as your words wash over him. The hand on your cheek coaxes you closer, and of course, you go; let your forehead get pressed against his, a tender motion, faces so close he can feel the warmth of your breath. 
“Y/n.” Your name sounds safe in his mouth, like he’s keeping it close, handling it delicately, carefully, eyes opening so he can look at you with an adoration you’ve never seen. Not for you. Not until now. “Can I kiss you? I want to. Please?”
You feel heat rising on your cheeks, a flush that threatens to spill over, but nod. You don’t think you have the strength to speak right now. Taehyung smiles again, lighting up this space you’ve scraped out for each other, him and you; you and him.
When he leans in, there’s the briefest moment of panic that flickers through you. You haven’t kissed anyone in such a long time. You’re worried you’ll mess up, be clumsy, bad, and Taehyung will be disappointed. 
But then his lips touch yours—and all that worry washes away. It’s a short-lived thing, the briefest brush of his mouth, barely a kiss at all. And then again, he leans in, tracing the shape of your mouth with his: a kiss to one corner of your mouth, and then the other, your cupid’s bow, the swell of your bottom lip. You’ve never felt like this—vulnerable but safe, all at once, Taehyung taking his time as you fall, fall, fall, his hand still cradling your face, his touch solid and grounding even as his kisses are featherlight.
“Taehyung,” you whisper, lips brushing his as you shape them around his name. You still have one hand in his and tighten your grip, squeezing. “More.”
You can feel his smile when he leans in one more time, guiding you with the broad palm against your cheek. So soft, so gentle. Adoring and reverent. His lips are so full, slotting against yours so perfectly when he finally, finally kisses you properly. 
You lose yourself in the sensation. It’s so easy to lose yourself in Taehyung, as lovely as he is, his mouth lovelier still. One kiss turns to two, to three, four, deep and slow; by the time you break apart, there’s a little sheen on his lips, sparking out in the candlelight, a layer of gold leaf that shines. 
“Can you say it again?” He asks. “Say that you love me?”
You can’t help but want to hide your face, bashful and shy. You’ve never said those words out loud, with the weight of feeling Taehyung is asking from you—but you look at his lovely, lovely face, lips flush with evidence of your kisses, and your heart swells in your chest.
“I love you.” The words come so easily. “I love you.”
And when he smiles, it’s so bright and radiant you feel you might be blinded by it. It doesn’t leave his face even as he stands, guides you up with him; careful to avoid the tub of ice cream that’s been forgotten on the floor, more melted cream than ice now.
This time, when he lifts you, he doesn’t break eye contact—keeps his gaze on yours as he pulls you close, and then picks you up.
It’s effortless, the way he carries you. Big hands that cup the back of your thighs, your legs around his waist and arms around his neck, lifted like you weigh nothing. You break eye contact, overwhelmed, burying your face in the crook of his neck, feeling the way he shakes as he laughs, soft and affectionate.
“Shut up,” you mumble, embarrassed, but then go quiet as you feel the press of his lips into your hair.
Taehyung’s the only person who’s ever carried you, but it’s less about that and more about how safe you feel in his arms. Wrapped around him, pressed close, warm-warm-warm. You feel like a burden has been lifted from you, unshackled from your neck now that you’ve confessed the budding feelings that had burst into full bloom even when you’d tried to shove them back into the dirt—because Taehyung feels the same way. He feels the same way.
The rest of the apartment is still bathed in darkness. But Taehyung navigates it easily, keeps you held close even in the dark, and you trust him. Even when you feel his grip loosening as he eases you down, you trust him, letting yourself fall back onto the softness of your bed. (Even if you want to keep hold of him.)
You wait and watch as the room starts to fill with light, Taehyung returning with the lit candles from the kitchen before setting out more, laying out all the scented candle jars you’ve had stashed away. The familiar surroundings of your bedroom are bathed in warm, dancing light, Taehyung’s shadow a multi-faceted silhouette that shifts each time a flame sputters.
He looks up once the final candle is aflame, meeting your eyes—and you don’t feel the need to drop that gaze, to glance away, pretend you weren’t watching him, entranced. Because he welcomes it. He grins at you, toothy and bright, and your own lips split into a smile.
“I guess it’s a good thing I like candles, huh?”
“They’ll help keep the room warm,” Taehyung says, and, that’s right, you hadn’t thought of that. 
No power: no heating. The longer the power is out, the colder it’ll get, the chill of the hard rain filling the world outside.
“Don’t worry,” he adds, setting the lighter aside. “I’ll keep you warm.”
There’s nothing behind those words. No implication at all. And yet you find yourself flushing, looking away from him, flustered.
There’s a beat of silence as you keep your eyes turned away from Taehyung, looking at the shadows on shadows on shadows that ripple across the walls—and then you hear how his bare feet shift across the floor until he’s at your bedside.
But he doesn’t stop there. You feel how the mattress dips, eyes flying back to the android, growing huge and round when you watch how he settles himself above you; hovering, so so so close, aware of how he’s not touching you, and yet. You swear you can feel the weight of him, a phantom touch on your body and across your skin.
Your mouth goes dry when he murmurs your name. The word drips from his mouth like honey, thick and sweet, and a shiver skates up your body.
“Do you want me to keep you warm?” He asks, and, oh. Oh. This time the words are heavy with meaning, shimmering gossamer curtains barely drawn to conceal it, smouldering intent in his eyes. “Let me look after you?”
You’re reminded, all at once, that while you’ve taught Taehyung a lot of things since you’d met, there’s one thing he knows that you don’t. Intimacy, and pleasure, and lust. Sex. Something you’ve been deprived of, even if you’ve quietly craved it, waiting for the right time, the right place, the right person.
Taehyung takes your silence as hesitation, his face softening.
“Only if you want,” he says. “Only if you want to say yes.”
“I want to,” you say, surprised by how fast the admittance leaves your lips. You do want it—want Taehyung, in every way he’s willing to share, want it desperately. “I just—” Embarrassment floods over you, and you look away again. “I’ve just never… done anything. Before. I’ve never, um.”
“It’s okay to be a virgin, Y/n,” Taehyung says, and you can’t help but squirm a little at how plainly he says it while you try to avoid saying it out loud, even if you know it’s stupid. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, you know that, but for some reason you feel almost ashamed at admitting it. Insecure. Even if the android clearly doesn’t care, not one bit. “We can go as slow as you want, or stop altogether. I’ll take care of you no matter what.”
You’re nervous. But louder than your nerves is a growing voice that’s chanting yesyesyes, and another voice that reminds you: you’re safe with Taehyung. No matter how nervous or uncertain you are, or how little you know, you do know that you’re safe with him.
“Okay.” You take in a breath. “Take care of me, Taehyung.”
And he does. With all the slowness of a meandering river and a smile curling his lips, he starts to kiss you again; there’s nothing rushed about his motions, as tender as before. Like the two of you could kiss forever and he would be content with that. 
And then you feel how he shifts, the softness of the kisses warming into something heavier, more purposeful. The glowing embers of a coal that are being coaxed to full flame, his tongue pressing past your willing lips, swallowing down the shaking gasp that shudders out of your mouth.
He trails his lips away from yours, across your jaw and up; you shiver as he noses at the soft skin behind your ear before kissing it, tremble at each intent touch of his lips against you, and it’s only when he reaches the hollow of your neck that you realise that you’re making noises, little inhalations of air each time he mouths at your sensitive skin, lets his tongue trail across it.
You’ve been holding onto him, hands cupped around the back of his neck, and when he sucks at your pulse point you tighten your fingers and let out a gasp. You can feel the answering hum that Taehyung gives, his mouth pressed so close that you can feel the vibrations, and it’s so much already. No one’s ever kissed you like this. No one's ever eased their weight down on you so carefully, pressing you down to the mattress with a delicate, delicious pressure that leaves your entire body growing hotter and hotter.
“Oh, oh, Taehyung.” You’d be embarrassed by how breathless you sound if you weren’t so distracted by something else—one of Taehyung’s hands, splaying over your stomach, heavy through your shirt.
“Can I take this off?” He’s murmuring into the crook of your neck, question warm against your skin. His long fingers rest, waiting at the hem of your shirt, patient even as he presses another kiss to the junction where your neck meets your shoulder: this time, edged with teeth, making you shudder as he soothes it with his tongue.
Your voice fails you, but when you nod, Taehyung responds immediately. You let him lead, follow the steps of this dance he knows so well—shiver at the feeling of his fingers sliding under the hem of your shirt once you've sat up, your stomach jumping as they brush against you, before he lifts it up and over your waiting arms.
Even though you’re wearing a bra, the second you see Taehyung’s eyes move down, you cover yourself reflexively. Even with all the flickering candles there’s enough light that there’s no darkness to hide in, shoulders hunching inwards as you try to hide yourself away. 
You’ve never let anyone see you like this like this before.
Taehyung’s touch is patient as he slides his hands over yours, looking at you with an infinite amount of sincerity and affection. He doesn’t try to pull your hands away from your chest, just waits. Patient. And like you always do, you find yourself melting under the gentle touch of his gaze. You let your hands fall, even if you’re acutely aware of the plain bra you’re wearing, something cosy for a day at home.
Taehyung ignores it. He shifts in and you steel yourself, expecting him to reach around your back for the clasp—but instead he starts to kiss you again. Deeper, hotter, his tongue sweeping over your lower lip before he nips at it. You let yourself get lost in the sensation, angling your head to chase his mouth, and it’s only when you feel the straps start to slip off your shoulders that the android has unclasped your bra without you noticing.
When he pulls away, he trails his hands across your shoulders and hooks his fingers into the trailing straps of your bra, and waits. You bite your lip and steel yourself, feeling foolish even as you hesitate—because Taehyung is looking at you with simmering awe and smouldering want. Like you're perfect. The most beautiful woman alive. 
So you don’t stop him. You let him pull his touch down your arms, slow, slow, slow—and then, all at once, you’re completely naked from the waist up.
That simmering awe and smouldering want is still there. Warmth flushes over your skin under the heat of his gaze, the way it sweeps over you. You never knew that someone could look reverent and hungry at the same time. Never knew that someone would look at you like that.
It bolsters your shaking confidence, helps you lift your chin as you lean back on your hands, and you’re entranced at how Taehyung follows. Caught in your gravity. He raises his arms, bra cast aside and long forgotten as he cups the weight of your breasts in his hands.
Oh, oh, oh. When he pinches one of your nipples between thumb and forefinger—already hard, sensitive—it’s already so much, but then he bows his head and—
You hear a noise, and you realise that it’s coming from your own lips. A shaking gasp that trembles in the air as Taehyung sucks and licks, dragging his tongue against your nipple; one, and the other. You fall once more to your back and he goes with you, relentless even as he stays slow and you arch your back helplessly towards him.
“More?” He murmurs against your skin.
“Oh, God,” you whimper, and he lifts his mouth away from your nipple to press a kiss to the skin above your racing heart. “Please, more.”
It feels so good. Taehyung makes you feel so good, as talented and gorgeous as he is, so wonderful. He keeps laving attention on your breasts, hands skimming over the soft skin of your chest and stomach, goosebumps rising in the wake of his trailing fingers, his warm palms.
You can’t look away when he finally pulls back, breathless from the sensation of it all. He settles on his knees, tugs off his hoodie and then his shirt, revealing all the lovely planes of his body that you’ve seen before, but this time, you don’t have to look away. You can look.
And you can touch, too. 
You sit up and raise a tentative hand to stroke down his chest, his stomach, that little trail of dark hair that descends into his loose grey sweatpants; your mouth goes dry at the sight. Taehyung watches the way your fingers drag over his skin, growing bolder moment by moment, but still too timid to venture past his waistband, low on his hips as they are. You’ve never had a chance to touch someone like this, to feel the smooth, soft skin under your greedy palms—Taehyung’s so warm, so alive. So human.
You think about the other hands he’s had on his skin. Grasping and greedy, taking and taking. People who didn’t care for him. People he couldn’t say no to. But he’s here with you because he wants to be. He lets you touch him because he wants it.
“Angel?” 
You glance up at the sound of the gentle pet name, away from where your hands have been tenderly tracing the lines of his hipbone. “Mm?”
Taehyung’s expression is soft and affectionate. “What are you thinking about?”
“You,” you answer honestly. He leans over to kiss you, and you’re smiling against his mouth when you feel the hand on your shoulder, pressing you down against the mattress again.
Then. His hands are at your waistband. Your breath quickens, but Taehyung’s eyes stay on your face even as your breasts rise and fall, shining with evidence of the touch of his mouth and tongue.
You lift your hips, and Taehyung smiles. Keeps smiling as he strips you, underwear and all, and when your thighs instinctively go to close shut, he catches your knees and keeps your legs open—gentle but firm, swiping his thumbs up and down the side of your knees, a tender touch even as you’re naked in front of him. You see the look on his face, drenched in candlelight, and swallow even as you force your legs to relax.
Then he looks down.
“Oh, God,” he groans, and one of your legs jumps in his grasp at the sound of his voice. Hoarse and deep. Almost unrecognisable. “Oh, angel, look at you.”
You’re so, so wet, so wet it’s embarrassing, so sensitive and responsive to every single one of Taehyung’s touches and kisses. The edges of his hair are spun gold in the candlelight but his eyes are so deep, so dark as he drinks down the sight of you spread out in front of him, wet and wanting and willing. You still want to hide away, cheeks burning, but you can’t look away from him. Can’t look away from how he seems almost pained, brows drawing together as he stares at the shining, flushed lips of your cunt.
“Taehyung.” Your voice shakes. “Taehyung, please.”
You're naked and vulnerable but—but the way he looks at you is so adoring, and you trust him. You trust him.
Just like earlier, his hands cup the back of your thighs. But this time, it’s not to carry you. You twist on the bed when he ends up eye level with your dripping cunt, utterly exposed. Those hands slide up your thighs and under your hips, tilting them up. Your fingers have been resting on the bedspread and tighten in them, bunching in your grasp when Taehyung presses a kiss to the softness of your inner thigh. 
One kiss. And then another. And another. His breath is warm as it curls out across your skin. You feel like you’re about to shake out of your body, wanting to pull away, wanting to lean in; wanting more, even when it feels like too much. Overcome with it all, even if you trust Taehyung. Safe under his hands, his lips. All you can think about is how close he is, face only inches away from your most sensitive parts—
Then he turns his head and—
The noise you let out is almost a keen. His mouth is on you, hot and wet, lips and tongue, and you’re writhing, overwhelmed with sensation. He starts slow, balls of your feet digging into Taehyung’s back and toes curling as he mouths at you. Your hips buck, and your hands are tangled in Taehyung’s hair—when did that happen?—as you sob at the feeling of his lips around your clit, unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, but so so so good. 
He licks a fat stripe up your entrance and your grip tightens in his hair. He makes a noise when your nails drag across his scalp, almost a growl, face still buried between your legs as he presses his tongue in. You’d worry that he needs to come up for air, but he doesn’t, doesn’t have to stop—keeps licking and kissing and humming, responding to each of the sounds pulling out of your lips. Keeps staring up at you, your eyes locked, the way you can’t look away from the sight of his head between your legs, dark haired and incredible.
You don’t realise you’re speaking, words slipping out of your lips as your hips roll, oh-oh-oh, fuck, God, oh, and Taehyung doesn’t stop. On his knees, he worships you, learning what you like—things you didn’t even know—and does it again, and again, and again. One of his hands slides away from your hips and over your stomach, holding you down, keeping you still, and then the other hand—
He turns his head, presses a kiss to the junction of your thigh. “Okay?”
“Okay,” you answer, shaky and weak. So okay, more than okay.
“Going to finger you now,” Taehyung says, and you feel like you’re going to die.
“Okay,” you say again. “Okay, Taehyung.”
He smiles at you before he puts his mouth back to your clit, sucking, a welcome distraction as—with all the languidness in the world—presses a finger into you.
You’ve fingered yourself before. You’ve got your own toys, vibrators, things that are longer and thicker than just one of Taehyung’s fingers—but this feels so different, out of your control. One finger becomes two, your cunt so wet that the slide in is easy, slow, deep thrusts of those long fingers inside you, and you’re panting, you’re so fucking overwhelmed.
And then he curls those fingers as he laps his tongue over your clit and you almost shout, Taehyung’s name bursting from your lips as he keeps beckoning with those fingers and circling the sensitive nub with his hot, wet tongue. It’s so much, it’s so fucking much, it’s so good and you’ve never felt so good before—
You’re almost blindsided by the orgasm that explodes through you and you come apart with a sound you didn’t realise you were capable of making, a gasping moan that keeps unfurling as Taehyung keeps his mouth on you, feeling each pulse of your cunt as you cum around his fingers, tight-tight-tight. (You miss the way his hips kick into the mattress that the sounds you’re making, how much you tighten around him.) You never thought you’d be so loud, never thought you’d end up all but sobbing as Taehyung eventually leans back, candlelight brushing shining gold over the wetness over his mouth, his chin. Your wetness.
“Oh my God,” you gasp. “Oh, fuck.”
Little jolts of pleasure are still wracking through you, pulsations of pleasure that unfurl in your lower stomach; Taehyung rubs the pad of his thumb across your oversensitive clit and your entire body jumps, your legs going to snap shut as you gasp, only stopped by his body in the way. You realise, then, that his fingers are still curled inside you, and you shiver.
“One more,” he says, and your whole body shakes. “Can I give you one more?”
He still looks reverent, and hungry. Like he wants to devour you. Taehyung is usually so soft, a gentle summer breeze—but right now he’s so intense it might scare you if it was anyone else. But it’s not, it’s Taehyung, and there’s something—there’s something about knowing that he looks like that because of you. 
You let your legs fall open, watch how pleased he looks; how grateful. Like he's blessed to be able to do this to you. For you. You’re still so sensitive when he lowers his head again, but he’s slow and patient and coaxing, two fingers becoming three, and—that’s a lot. It’s a lot, but it feels good, Taehyung knowing exactly what to do to make you sob, your legs still hooked over his shoulders as he pulls you along that line between oversensitivity and mind numbing pleasure. This time, when you cum, it’s with three fingers buried deep in your cunt, the flat of his tongue pressed against your clit, back arching as you throw your head back and cry out. Your pussy throbs and it's so dirty, the wet sounds of his fingers thrusting into you, the slick sound of movement as you moan, and moan, and moan.
No one's ever made you cum before. Only you. And now you know what it's like to put your pleasure in someone else's hands, to have them intent on making you feel good, so good, and it leaves you dizzy. 
He’s praising you, you note dimly. He’s praising you, how well you’re doing, how good you are for him, and it leaves you feeling warm. You’re panting when Taehyung pulls his fingers out of you, moves so he can brace himself on his elbows and lean in to kiss you. You can taste yourself on his lips and tongue. You can feel his skin against yours, chest to chest, his weight pressing you down and then you can feel—
You let out a noise against his lips. There’s nothing else that can be, that hot weight. You might not have felt it before, but you’re not stupid. That’s Taehyung’s cock, his hard length pressed against you.
“Taehyung,” you murmur.
“Mm.” He brushes his nose against yours, and the wave of affection that crashes through you is so strong it feels like it could pull you under. You didn’t realise that sex could be like this—that lingering shockwaves of pleasure could be skirting through your body as you lay there naked, still aroused and almost overcome, but also feeling so warm and soft and tender, too. 
You feel lax after cumming, a little more confident, bolder—and the noise Taehyung makes as you clumsily grasp at him through his sweatpants is incredible. You feel like you could get high on it, the way he sucks in a gasp as his mouth falls open, even if you don’t know what you’re doing as your fingers wrap around cloth and hard heat.
“Please,” you start, then stop. Swallow. “Please, Taehyung.”
You want so much you feel like you could pass out. You want to feel and touch and taste; you want everything you haven’t had a chance to experience yet, want it with Taehyung, someone who you trust. Someone you love. Someone who knows far, far more than you—will always know more—and you want to learn that from him. 
“Want you,” you say, and Taehyung looks pained all over again. He wants you, too.
“Fuck.” The word is rough, and you’ve never heard him curse before. The way he says it has something in you singing, as strange as that might be; you don’t think you’re ever going to get over how much you affect Taehyung. “What do you want from me, angel?”
Everything, you think. I want everything. 
“Let me see?” is what you say, squeezing your fingers around Taehyung’s length, feeling the way his hips buck into the touch. “Please?”
You never thought that someone taking their clothes off could be artistic. And yet, there’s something about Taehyung moving to stand and stripping off the rest of his clothes that’s completely arresting and beautiful; carnal and holy, all at once. You don’t even realise your mouth is open as you sit up and watch him, moving closer as you drink down the sight, the way he’s naked in front of you.
Taehyung. Naked. Naked and beautiful and hard, and it’s so overwhelming, everything about it, how much you want and how—oh, God, how big and thick he is, obvious even to you, someone with nothing to compare it to. Holy fuck. Should you think that his dick is pretty? Can dicks even be pretty? Taehyung’s is. Of course it is. He’s gorgeous all over. Maybe you’re biased because it’s him, but there’s something about the sight of his hard cock, precome gathering at his slit, that makes your mouth water.
Taehyung goes to say something, but before you can lose your nerve, you move forwards, and whatever he was going to say is lost in the sound of a choked off groan. He tastes like salt and musk, hot under your inexperienced hands and mouth, and you don’t know what you’re doing but the noises he’s making, fuck. You run your tongue up the throb of a vein you can feel on the underside, and all you can think about is how big he is, slow and careful with your teeth and lips as you try your best to do whatever feels good for him. 
His noises seem almost frantic but Taehyung’s hands are gentle when they comb through your hair. You look up. There’s a flush on his cheeks—red, not blue, you notice—and you pause, pulling off, suddenly shy after the burst of confidence that had you swallowing his cock down.
“Is this—is this okay?” You’ve still got your fingers wrapped around him, and maybe it’s a little ridiculous to be asking with spit and precome shining on your lips, but Taehyung’s answering smile is so affectionate.
“You’re perfect,” he says, and you know he’s not just talking about your clumsy blowjob. “Do you want to stop?”
You bite your lip and pump his length, which has Taehyung sucking a breath in. “I—what do you want?”
Something flashes through Taehyung’s eyes, and it feels like there’s electricity shooting down your spine before that look disappears. “This is about you, angel,” he says. “We can worry about what I want next time.”
Next time. This is the first time but it’s not the last. Oh, God. God.
Taehyung takes advantage of your distraction and hikes you up and away from the edge of the bed. It leaves you breathless, knowing how strong he is, how easily he can move you, even if he’s gentle-gentle-gentle. He settles in the cradle of your hips, and he’s so close, naked body flush with yours, covering you. His cock is so close—he just has to shift a little, just a little, and—well. 
Before that, though, there’s something you need to know.
“Taehyung?” Your voice shakes but you have to ask.
“Yes?”
“Is this. Um. Does this feel good for you, too?”
You’re always aware of the fact Taehyung is an android, even if he looks and feels and is human, too. (It doesn’t matter that he’s made of metal and thirium and circuitry. He’s human.) You lift a hand and thumb at the soft skin of his temple, where his LED used to sit; you don’t know how to communicate that you love him regardless, that it doesn’t matter to you if he's a man or robot. But you’ve wondered—you know Taehyung was built to pleasure humans. Even if he’s been reacting, making noises, looks for all intents and purposes that he is enjoying this—what if it’s all programming? What if he’s just doing this because he thinks it’s something you want?
He leans into your touch. “Angel.” It sounds like the word is being scraped out of him, hoarse and deep, all dark heat. “It feels good. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.”
He rolls his hips almost imperceptibly, but you’re hyperaware of every motion, how close you are. Your breath stutters in your throat.
"I want you to feel good," he says. "I've wanted to feel you and taste you for so long. I want to learn everything about your body. I want to know what you feel like around me. Under me. On top of me. You make me feel so fucking good, you don't even know," and, oh, fuck, those words go right through you, settle deep in your belly, leave you breathless. Taehyung sucks at your pulse point and you melt, even as your skin feels like it's burning, so hot, every part of you so hot, so ready for him.
Taehyung’s big enough that you’re worried about how he’s going to fit, even if you’re slick and wet and so, so turned on—you know about the importance of lube, used it often enough by yourself, but when you mention it to Taehyung he just smiles.
“Don’t forget that I’m a sex android,” he says, and before you can ask exactly what he means by that, you feel the tip of his cock at your folds and the question dies on your tongue.
“Please,” is what leaves your lips. “Please, please, please.”
“Anything you want,” he says, and eases his hips forwards.
Slow, and hard, and wet, the head of Taehyung’s cock starts to press into you. You grab at his back, digging your fingers in; it doesn’t hurt, not exactly, a not-quite-pain as he pushes in—but it’s a lot, even if the slide is smooth, so smooth, from your own wetness and the slickness that covers Taehyung’s cock. Your eyes are wide and your lips are parted and it feels—astonishing, the way you can feel yourself open up for him, the way it feels like he’s filling every part of you, throbbing heat.
“Oh, oh God,” you gasp. 
Taehyung’s forehead is pressed to yours, the loose locks of his dark hair framing his face as he waits, hips snug with yours. You shiver and move your hips a little, entire body seizing at the sensation of him shifting inside you. It's so new and alien, having someone nestled inside you, against you, so close in every sense of the term, above you, around you, inside you—but it feels… good.
And when he moves, it’s so, so slow. Slow and smooth as he works you open, even if you feel so tight around him. You drag your nails down his shoulder blades when he moves a little faster, a little roll of the hips that has you gasping all over again.
“More,” you say, and he gives you more.
You feel so full. You feel full of Taehyung, inside and out—the way his body is still pressing you down, skin on skin, how hot he is.
They call it making love, and it’s not until now that you really understand what that means—how you can feel Taehyung’s soft and tender affection in his every motion, read it in every shift of his body, the lines of his face, his lips; the way his eyes are dark but full of wonder, shining with love for you, pleasure singing through every inch of you, centred around Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung.
Each noise that falls from his lips is an echo of that love. Even when he leans back and takes you with him—settles on his knees, pulls your hips from the mattress to stay connected to you as your shoulder blades dig into the mattress, his cock in your cunt—there’s tenderness there, even if you’re both chasing mutual lines of pleasure. You feel almost dazed, dizzy with love and arousal, reaching out for him, and he catches your hand. The other stays at your waist, guiding you onto him, again and again, each roll of hips into yours.
“Taehyung,” you gasp, voice breaking on his name when he thrusts into you. He’s been increasing the pace, faster and sharper, harder, and it’s so-so-so much, so good. “I’m—Taehyung, I’m close, I wanna cum again, pleasepleaseplease—”
He lets go of your hand and then he’s thumbing at your clit and you’re cumming harder than you’ve ever cum in your life, Taehyung’s cock still hard and insistent inside you as you ride out your orgasm, pulsing around him. You’re gasping and making noises like you’re falling apart, and there’s something desperate in Taehyung’s eyes, something dark and wanton. 
“Angel, I’m going to cum soon,” he says, and you moan in response, hazy. “Do you want me to pull out?”
You shake your head no. You want to know what it feels like, to have Taehyung lose himself inside you. You’re about to reach out for him when he hooks his hands under your knees and hitches your legs up—you suck in a sharp breath as he starts to move again, almost bent in two, his face so close to yours. It's not rough but something about Taehyung taking control like that has you baring your throat, arching your back and throwing your head back. The hold he has on you is firm, and you feel how it tightens as his thrusts speed up, and then, fuck—
When Taehyung cums it’s around the gasp of your name, a hitching sound as he empties himself inside you, throbbing and hot. You let out an answering sound, the two of you locked together until Taehyung pulls out, careful and slow; you feel like a sweaty mess, empty without him inside you, but then his hands are so carefully cupping your face and he’s kissing you over and over and over. It leaves you feeling breathless, all those little kisses, struggling for air by the time you part, every part of you lax under his loving touch. 
“How are you feeling?” Taehyung murmurs, soft and sweet. 
“Good,” you murmur back. And then your nose crinkles. “Sweaty.”
Taehyung laughs, quiet and low. You turn your face into the crook of his neck, hiding your smile as you breathe him in. You do feel sweaty, and there’s an ache settling inside you, but it’s a good ache. A glowing ache, an unfamiliar one, but one that you know you'll get to feel again, with Taehyung.
You’ve just leaned back to take him in all over again, painted syrupy sweet in the golden candlelight—when the lights suddenly turn back on. It floods your eyes and you make a noise of surprised pain as you squint against the sudden brightness, but then you start to giggle, shock melting into laughter.
When your laughter dies you realise Taehyung’s been watching you. The room is full of shining light now, and you realise you’re still naked, entire body shaking as you’ve been giggling. You’d feel embarrassed about your nakedness if you hadn’t just shared yourself with him, bared yourself in ways that are more than skin deep. There’s an instinctual part of you that wants to cover up now that there’s nowhere to hide, no flickering shadows to cover up the parts of your body that you don’t like, the flaws you don’t want Taehyung to see. But he just looks fond, fond, fond, love and affection dripping off him as he watches the way you smile shyly up at him.
“Hi,” you say.
“Hi,” he says, and smiles back, wide and bright. 
You love him. You love him, and he loves you, and you trust that love. As hard as it might be to believe, you trust that this is what he wants—that you’re what he wants.
“Do you want me to carry you to the shower?” he asks, and you can’t help but laugh again, warm through and through, how he’s still taking care of you.
“Not yet,” you say. 
You end up against his chest, wrapped close. You’ve laid your head in his lap countless times, but he’s never been on his back before, never had his arms around you like he doesn’t want to let go. Taehyung might not have a heart, but the thirium pump nestled in his chest beats steady as you stay nestled against his side. 
You’re drawing little circles on his skin with your fingers when he catches that hand and lifts it to his mouth, presses a tender kiss to your fingertips.
“I love you,” he says.
You feel like liquid sunlight, shining happiness as you melt, melt, melt. And the feeling stays, body filled with it, even after Taehyung coaxes you out of bed and into the shower to wash the sweat off your body; when he drags a soapy loofah over your back you can’t help but laugh, so in love, so loved.
And when you fall asleep, it’s not with your head on Taehyung’s thigh. It’s with his arms around you, his chest to your back, his body curved around you. You don’t want tonight to end, but you also can’t wait for tomorrow, knowing that it’s another day with him, with Taehyung, your Taehyung. You never thought that love would be like this, never thought that you’d feel love like this, cared for and protected and loved, loved, loved.
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“Not staying late?”
You pause in the process of shoving everything into your bag. Hoseok is leaning against your desk, a smile curling at his lips as he raises his eyebrows at you, almost suggestive.
“Nah, I’ve got a dinner to get to,” you say. 
“You seem a lot happier lately,” Hoseok comments, and when you don’t fall for the bait, he wiggles his eyebrows. “The girls think that you’ve got a secret boyfriend that you’re too shy to tell anyone about.”
Taehyung still greets you every day when you get home. But now, every greeting is punctuated with a kiss—and sometimes a little more. When you stop to think about it, it’s startling, this thing that Taehyung’s taught you. That the simplest of things can turn into something more, love edged with lust, that it’s all part and parcel of loving someone, being with them, being comfortable with them. Just the other day you’d been reading on the sofa, and then Taehyung’s fingers had curved over your thigh and the tablet had fallen from your hands—
Hoseok clicks his fingers in front of your face. “You’re zoning out again,” he says.
“I am not,” you say, zoning back in. “I was thinking about if I needed to buy any food on the way home.”
“To feed that secret boyfriend of yours?” Hoseok says, and you laugh in his face.
“Definitely not to feed the rumour mill,” you say. Hoseok pouts but it’s good natured, and he waves you off with a smile, letting you leave the office without trapping you in an interrogation for the gossip you’re certain your coworkers are hungry for.
It’s your turn to cook for Yoongi and Seokjin, so you’ve got to get home to help Taehyung. Both men had been spectacularly unsurprised when they’d found out about the two of you. Yoongi had remained calm as Seokjin crowed in delight, proclaiming I knew it, I knew that’s why you were avoiding Taehyung. 
“Feel lucky, Y/n,” Yoongi had said. “At least Taehyung has a sense of decorum and shame.”
“I think it’s a shame that my boyfriend is such a party pooper,” Jin had said. “I demand a dinner party! To celebrate your new relationship! Oh, I’m going to bake the biggest cake.”
“Oh my God,” you’d said, and Taehyung had just smiled.
The truth is that you’re grateful for your neighbours and their support, grateful for their friendship. Just because Taehyung looks human doesn’t mean that you don’t worry about him, worry that someone might discover that he’s a deviant; Jin’s slipped under the radar for long enough, and you hope it’s the same for Tae, too. And yet you can’t help but think about it, think about the present, the future, how your lives are going to unfold as time goes by.
When the door swings open to your apartment, though, that’s the last thing on your mind. All that’s on your mind is Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung, your love appearing just as you’ve kicked your shoes off, all bright pink hair and dark eyes and welcoming hands.
“Taehyung,” you say, warm and happy.
“Hi,” he says, smiling so brightly, and then he kisses you.
You’re never going to get tired of kissing Taehyung; never going to get tired of how his mouth fits against yours, so perfect and sweet. But then he crowds you against the wall, swallowing down your gasp before kissing down your neck, running his teeth so gently across your skin.
“Missed you,” he murmurs, words dripping hot and slow. “Been thinking about you.”
“Taehyung,” you breathe. “Taehyung, we need to cook dinner.”
“We have time,” he says, and when he picks you up, you don’t protest. You go easily, wrapping your arms and legs around him, heat already gathering in your stomach as he walks the familiar path to your bedroom.
You have time: today, tomorrow, and every day after that. You have time with Taehyung, to learn with him, to love him. To be loved back. You don’t know what’s coming on the horizon, what the future holds—but then again, you never have.
There’s one thing you know now, though. No matter what happens, Taehyung will be at your side, and you’ll be at his. He wants you, and he loves you. You want him, and you love him. 
“I love you,” you murmur, and Taehyung kisses the words off your lips, lets the promise of your love settle inside him, warm and soft and safe.
“I love you too,” he says, and then you’re too busy to say anything, after that.
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taglist:  @beyoncesdragon​ @vensulove​ @jalexad​ @beingbeings​ @lorielulu7​ ​ (can’t tag: @jeon-joon-kook)
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You Right I
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WARNINGS: RAPE, SEX TRAFFICKING, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, FORCED PREGNANCY, MISCARRIAGE. I WILL HAVE TRIGGERING SCENES MARKED. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART AND MINORS, GO READ SOMETHING ELSE.
2018
“Ethan….you know this isn’t right...Ryan is waiting for me at home...it’s our…” She whimpered as his hands traveled along her curves as he teased her, kissing down her neck. “Tesoro, we both know, what you want is not him.” He nipped at her ear as he slid his hand underneath her shirt as he pulled at her lace straps. Ethan pulled off her shirt, biting his lip as marveled at her lace covered breasts. He knew that boy wasn’t treating she wanted, she wanted to be treated like a princess, worshipped and loved, but in private, Ethan made sure that Y/N was his submissive, only here for his pleasure only and she loved that, he can just say hello and she’ll come crawling to him.
Y/N let her head fall back as she watched their bodies through the mirror on the ceiling, shuddering to the sight above them. Ethan’s tongue roamed her body as he slipped his hands in the matching thong. “Pay attention to me, tesoro.” With that, he tore the flimsy material from her body, dropping the shreds as he dropped her onto the bed, “Ethan, those were expensive!” He scoffed, tossing his shirt to the side as he climbed between her legs, which she quickly tried to close them. “Ethan..” “You want me, we’ve done this multiple times already, what’s stopping you now?” “Ryan proposed to me!” Ethan stopped in his tracks, thoroughly confused as he sat back. “What do you mean by that? You’re going to marry that coglione!?” She gawked at him, hitting his leg. “He’s not a fucker! He’s kind and he’s going to treat me right!” He pinched the bridge of his nose, cursing before he climbed out, grabbing his shirt.
“...Y/N, I’ll back off, go live your little fantasy life with Ryan. I’m more so pissed off that you weren’t going to stop this, were you?” He asked, looking down at her, absolutely disgusted. “You know that I love you and I would do anything for you, but this is a slap on the face.” Y/N rolled her eyes as she grabbed her clothes, shaking her head. “Why are you making this about you? You’ve been coming onto me and-” “And you haven’t stopped me, you’ve pushed me into closets, begging me to gag you on my cock,” He hovered over her as his dark eyes locked onto hers,”screaming me for me to fuck you with an audience. You seek me out more than I do, so tell me, what are you going to do when he can’t scratch that itch you have? Finger yourself at the thought of me, using you like a cheap whore. Am I wrong?”
Y/N looked the other way, knowing the truth as she was going to speak up, her phone rang. Future Hubby. ‘Babe, where are you? We have reservations tonight at that really fancy place…’ She began to dress herself, mindlessly agreeing with whatever he was saying. “Baby, I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy with work and you know my boss is trying to promote me…” Ethan rolled his eyes as he leaned on his bed, looking through his messages as he was determined to get laid tonight. He brushed back his long, luscious locks before looking back up at Y/N, narrowing his eyes at her. “Why are you still here? Unless you want to watch me fuck some random girl.” She quickly made her exit as she rubbed her eyes, not wanting to cry for a man.
Why am I crying over a man? I should be happy that I’m getting married to someone who I could trust with all my heart. She also felt extremely guilty, her hands weren’t clean as well, but she honestly thought that this was just going to be fling between her and Ryan. He wasn’t looking for anything serious, that's what she thought too until her parents gave her an ultimatum, find a decent boy and I’ll pay for your studies abroad and 4 years later, still with Ryan, he wasn’t a bad, just little bland and vanilla for her liking. She liked men like Ethan, who wasn’t afraid of pushing boundaries and trying new things and her father obviously didn’t care for Ethan.
To him, Ethan was a manwhore and had no redeemable qualities, he was just drummer in a band who loved to fuck and he didn’t his daughter failing prey to that. She quickly took a cab to their shared apartment, sighing as she set her things down. “Love? I’m home…” She trailed off, seeing him in the living room, sipping on a glass of wine. “Why aren’t you ready yet? I thought we had reservations-” “I cancelled them, I didn’t feel like going out anymore, not after what I know.” He tossed a thick envelope onto the coffee table as he carefully watched her. “Do you want to explain this...affair that you’ve been having behind my back for sometime now.” She swallowed nervously as she shuffled on her feet. “You can’t, can you? You’re just some slutty whore, who opens their legs out for anyone, don’t you? Maybe I can use that to my advantage, pimp you out and profit off you.” She rapidly shook her head no, slowly backing up as he stood. “No, I think I will, if not, I’ll send your precious daddy, every photo and video of you being a slut.”
“You wouldn’t dare, you simultaneously fuck yourself over too! M-My father-” Ryan backhanded her, rolling his eyes as he looked down at her. He watched as she started to cry, holding herself. “Don’t feel sorry for yourself, sweetheart. You caused this, you couldn’t be satisfied with what I gave you. Now, you’re going to be daddy’s good little girl and you're going to do everything I say. Y/N’s stomach fell in horror as she could only think of the possibilities that he was going to do to her, she tried scrambling to her feet, but Ryan was faster as he grabbed her hair, yanking her up. “You’re going to do what I say and you’re going to do it with no complaints.”
Ethan sighed as he pushed some random girl off of him, climbing out of bed as he walked to the bathroom. He tied his long hair in a bun, washing his face. He was serious about not contacting her, he wanted her to choose who she wanted and not play around his feelings. “I had fun last night, we should do it again.” He narrowed his eyes at the woman, shrugging off her hands as he faced her. “I don’t even know your name and I really don’t give a fuck.” She gasped as he pushed past her, getting ready for rehearsals. Once he stepped into the studio, he sighed as Y/N wasn’t there, she hasn’t been here in the past three months. “So we’re close to releasing our first album and we need to start really focusing in and producing like it’s our last thing. We’re gonna have to be in the studio more often than not, probably pulling all nighters. That goes for you Ethan, just slow down on the groupies, I know you and Y/N are going through a rough patch, but I’m going to need you to focus.”
Ethan just nodded as he stepped into the booth, grabbing his practice drumsticks. It was obvious that he was bothered by Damiano’s comment, he knew that Damiano picked up on his feelings for her and watched him do nothing about it, loving to throw it up in his face, every single time. “Dude, why do you do that?” Thomas questioned, giving him a side look. “You always comment on Y/N, maybe he doesn’t want to hear about her. Her snobby husband always has her on his arm, anywhere they go. Why remind him that he lost a good thing?” Damiano sputtered as he tried to deny his dickish attitude towards him. “Look, I know he’s still missing Y/N, but it’s been like six weeks, almost 2 months. Is the pussy that good?” “Damiano, please stop watching American TV, let’s just start recording, before we get too distracted.” Vic pushed everyone else in, closing the door behind them.
------------------------BAD STUFF, NO READ IF UPSETTING-------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Y/N, suck harder and stop using your teeth.” She flinched as she was abused by her “client” as Ryan watched, stroking himself. Ryan chuckled as he watched, licking his lips. He thought he was a genius, he preyed on her vulnerabilities and used her to where no one would believe her. “How much for her pussy?” The sleazy man croaked, reaching for her thong. “I have a suitcase for about ten thousand as a downpayment.” Ryan’s eyebrow arched up as he glanced over at the suitcase. “And if you allow me to cum in her, I’ll add another 30 thousand onto it.” Y/N looked between the two, growing nervous as she wiggled her way to the door. “...Add 20 thousand and you can do anything you want with her, just don’t kill her.” Ryan smirked as Y/N was pulled onto her face as the man forced his way inside of her. “God, her pussy feels so fucking good.” Y/N sobbed as she tried kicking him, just trying to stop this torture and the stranger shoved her face in the pillows.
Ryan sighed as his phone ranged, groaning as he answered it. “Ryan McGower, this has better be important.” “Hi, Mr. McGower, I saw your wife’s….interesting ad and I was wondering if she could handle..more extreme intercourse.” Ryan watched as she thrashed about, sobbing as she looked into his eyes. He could end this with one word, but she damaged him, what did Ethan Torchio have that he didn’t have? “Darling? Did you ever love that bastard?” Y/N gave him a confused look, shaking her head. “Who are you even talking about?” “Of course she can, I’m the one who’s training her. She can and will take everything you give her.”
She whimpered, cringing at her drenched panties, crying as she felt the man finally come inside of her. “Holy fuck, that’s some good pussy right there, I may have to come by later.” He smirked as he pulled apart her lower lips as they watched the cum slowly flow and drip out onto the floor. “She’s not on contraceptives or has that implant?” “No, I got them removed awhile back,” Y/N wanted to throw up, she quickly rushed to the bathroom, regurgitating the small breakfast that she had. She held the toilet as she silently cried, wanting this nightmare to end.
--------------------------BAD STUFF OVER-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ethan wanted to go home, this large crowd wasn’t helping his mood and he just wanted to go home and drink in the privacy of his own home. darling.y/n - last online 4 months ago Shutting his phone off as he tried to ignore that gnawing feeling that was eating at his stomach. “Dude, are you okay? You keep scaring off girls.” Thomas asked, shouted as he slipped in next to him. “Is it about Y/N?” Ethan finally had enough, wanting to scream this at the top of his lungs. “Yeah, it is, I’m in love with her and I just miss her so fucking much, she hasn’t kept in touch with me, so I don’t know if she’s doing okay. I’m just concerned because something doesn’t feel right and I can’t put it together.” Thomas blankly stared at him, shaking his head. “Dude, just go to her house, fuck her husband. What’s the worst could he do? Move halfway around the globe?”
Ethan jumped out of the taxi as he rushed to Y/N’s front door, quickly knocking on it. He started ringing the doorbell impatiently before a strange woman poked her head out the door, shaking her head no before handing him an elegant note.
For those who are wondering, the missus and I are going to our second home to celebrate our first pregnancy and we would like for any inquiries to go through our assistant before you attempt to personally contact us. If you would like to send us any baby needs, you can do so to this address.
-From the McGowers
The mysterious lady snatched it from his hands before shutting the door unlocking it, Ethan sighed as he kicked a pole, frustrated with himself. ‘A baby? Is that what she wanted, a family, we could’ve….’ He stopped as he realized that it wouldn’t have worked out, he would be traveling too much and he couldn’t ask his bandmates to accommodate a screaming baby. “Fuck that, I want to hear this out of her own words, if she’s happy, then i’m happy and i’ll call it a day.” He headed back to his apartment, dialing Damiano as he fast walked, ignoring the strange looks thrown at him. “Damiano, you have a bigger social circle than me and you probably rub elbows with rich people on a daily basis. I need you to find where Y/N’s second home is. I have a bad feeling about this.”
Damiano looked at his phone on the other line, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Mio caro amico(My dear friend), you need to let her go, she’s married now, has a husband now and she’s probably going to have a child soon. Why are you going to stop her happiness?” “Damiano, she wasn’t happy when she got married, you saw those wedding photos, she looked miserable as fuck in them.” Damiano sighed, pushing his partner off of him as he sat up. “If I help you and we find an answer, any answer whether you like it or not, we’re going to stop searching for her, okay?” “....Okay.”
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script-nef · 3 years
Text
Interview Time | Oikawa Tooru
Category: fluff
2k words; an eventful interview with Oikawa and his girlfriend
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Today we are joined by the phenomenal setter of Club Athletico San Juan, Oikawa Tooru, and the manager of the team, [Name] [Surname]. They are the iconic couple who have brought laughter and joy to many matches by their interactions. 
“Hello, [Name] here!”
“Hi, I’m Oikawa! And [Name]-chan, is that a reference to Zuko?”
“It most certainly is. It’s good to see you finally recognise some of my pop culture references now. I was wondering when you’d finally get a hobby outside of volleyball.”
“I have one!”
“Searching for alien conspiracy theories is not a hobby. Tooru, you’re weird as hell.”
“But you still love me.”
“Unfortunately.”
“Hey!”
You guys are so cute and lively together! Today’s interview will be focused on your relationship, but feel free to reject some of the questions if you’re uncomfortable. Is that okay?
“Sure!”
Q. How did you two meet?
“Oh, I was working for San Juan as one of the managers when he was brought in. Since I’m fluent in Japanese, the head coach asked me to help him around because his Spanish and English was atrocious.”
“Eck, [Name]-chan! I wasn’t that bad!”
“You were terrible, who are you trying to kid? Literally no one could understand half the things you were saying. I was basically your translator for the first year.”
“[Name]-chan!! You’re breaking my heart!”
“As long as your body works for volleyball I don— Okay, okay, I was kidding! Don’t pout, Tooru. You learnt it quick enough and now you don’t have any problems! Besides, it’s thanks to your previously horrible language skills that we got to spend more much time together, right?
“I guess that’s true… Was I really that bad though?”
“Absolutely horrible. Everyone can back me up on this.”
Q. What is one quality about each other that you admire and love the most?
“Tenacity, I guess. In volleyball and everything else. He stays behind all the damn time for hours, none of his teammates can keep up. I once had to conk him on the head and drag him out so he would rest.”
“It hurt! You’re stronger than Iwa-chan sometimes, I don’t even understand how that’s possible.”
“You think I’m stronger than the arm-wrestling champion Iwa-chan?”
“Yes. Anyway, what I love most about [Name] is her perceptivity. Did you know that I once had a small kink in my leg muscle which was uncomfortable and she caught it in a second? No one else noticed except her! And this was before we started dating!”
“Yeah, well. I did spend the most time with you and you constantly tell me things about yourself. Even when I didn’t ask.”
“[Name]-chan is so shy. It’s okay, I know you loved me since the moment you laid your eyes on me.”
“Eh…”
“Hey!”
“I didn’t fall in love with you at first sight, I don’t believe in that. You slowly grew on me because you incessantly hit on me.”
“That’s the best kind of hitting!”
“...hm. Do you, um, like any other sort of hitting—”
“[Name]-chan, we’re on camera! Stop that!”
I’m sorry, please keep this PG, there are young fans who might be watching. Moving on!
Q. What was your first date like?
“First date, huh? It was like, ages ago…”
“It was 6 years ago, in August. We went to the Tango festival in Buenos Aires. I had such a fun time with you then!”
“You had fun stepping all over my feet. It’s honestly appalling how much you sucked at dancing back then. You were bad at a lot of things, huh.”
“She complained about it all night, but even then she was so cute and brilliant. She led me for the second half, stating that she had enough of her feet getting trampled on.”
“Thankfully you picked it up fast. You’re pretty fast at learning new skills.”
“Aww, is the ever-so stoic [Name]-chan praising me? How rare!”
“Well, if you don’t want me to, then…”
“Wait, no don’t stop! I was kidding, praise me more!” 
“Ah, don’t latch onto me, this is on cam— Tooru!”
Now, now, please calm down. Straight onto the next question!
Q. Do you have any memorable dates or events?
“Oh, there was this one time.”
“I already said sorry for that!”
“That doesn’t mean it never happened! My jaw still hurts when I think about it!”
“I said sorry every single time!”
“Still! Okay, the story is that I wanted to surprise him when he came back home but it went horribly. The first part, at least. “He didn’t know I was coming over because I wanted it to be a surprise, which in hindsight was a bad idea. I made dinner and turned the lights off when I heard the door unlocking. In my head, it was like ‘pop and and surprise him’, but when I did, he got spooked and hit me in the jaw.”
“It was reflex! [Name]-chan, you popped out screaming ‘surprise’ right in front of me!”
“Yeah, but still. That’s how I now know he has a great right hook. Nearly knocked me out. But his crying and screaming stopped me from falling unconscious.”
“I thought I really did knock you out!”
“Yeah, but you kept on screaming even after I said it was okay. You’ve probably heard of it too, there were news articles about how he came into the emergency room crying his eyes out.”
“I really am sorry about it, [Name]-chan…”
“Hey now, no need to be sad. It’s just a funny memory to tell everyone now.” 
At least you can laugh about it now.
Q. 6 years is a long time. You must have a lot of anniversaries. What do you do for them?
“Nothing special, we just get presents for each other and spend the day together. I used to just tell him what I wanted but he can figure out what I want now.”
“That shows what an amazing and observant boyf—I mean fiancé I am! Have you ever been disappointed with anything I gave you?”
“Well, no, not yet.”
“See? And you get me all the things I want and need. We’re a perfect couple.”
“We sometimes go on trips to neighbouring countries, visit some tourist spots. I bought him a camera for the anniversary last year, and now he takes tons of photos everywhere we go. There’s a huge stack of polaroids in our bedroom.”
“[Name]-chan, don’t ignore me! Aren’t we a perfect couple?”
“I think we’re the best we can be. Perfection doesn’t exist, but we can strive to be the best we can be, right Tooru?”
“Yup! You’re so wise when it comes to things like this.”
Q. What do you do in your spare time?
“We recently started watching TV shows like Umbrella Academy and Doctor Who. Tooru likes them because of all the aliens and superpowers.”
“They’re all so creative! Like the Weeping Angel, that makes me freak out whenever I see a statue now. Some of them give me nightmares.”
“Weeping Angels are messed up. Wait, why do you watch it if it gives you nightmares? You need to take care of your mental state as well, national representative!”
“But you hug me when I sleep if I have night terrors! I would sit through a hundred horror movies if it means you would hug me.”
“…”
“Are you… blushing?”
“No.”
“Aw, [Name]-chan, you’re blushing! I love you so much!”
“Tooru, stop! I’m going to fa—”
*Technical difficulties please hold*
Q. You recently announced your engagement, congratulations! How was the proposal, if you don’t mind me asking?
“I took her to her favourite restaurant! It’s this fancy place in a building near the training centre and she loves the pizza there.”
“It is delicious. He can’t see how good it is, this uncultured child.”
“It’s not my type! I like other pizzas, just not that one. Her face absolutely glows with happiness when she takes a bite but I can’t understand it. They have those really salty fish—”
“Anchovy. And I usually don’t like it either, but they make it taste amazing!”
“No, it still tastes like clumps of salt. Thankfully I like other dishes on the menu. We go there so often that the owner has a special spot reserved for us. It’s by a window and since the restaurant is in a tall building, it looks over the lights of the city. It’s very beautiful.”
“He was looking skittish than usual, so I was worried for him. I actually thought he wanted to break up with me. But instead, he showed me the ring and asked me to marry him.”
“Why would I ever break up with you?”
“Couples split apart! It’s what happens to a lot of them, I have never heard of someone who lived forever with only one person.”
“Tobio-chan did!”
“Are we considering volleyball as a person now?”
“[Name]-chan, we went to their wedding!”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m just kidding! He was pretty cute, all twitchy and red. His wife was even cuter though, so shy and embarrassed. Very beautiful as well.”
“You’re going to be even more radiant at our wedding. I can see you in your dress already.”
“Wow, you must be able to see into the future, since I haven’t even looked at the catalogue.”
“It’s a figure of speech!”
Now, now, please calm down! Onto the next question.
Q. You guys had been dating for quite a while before getting engaged. When did you realise you wanted to spend the rest of your life with each other?
“Oh, you never actually told me this.”
“It was actually when I was away for a game! [Name]-chan couldn’t come because she had to work back in Argentina, so I was all alone in a foreign country.”
“Literally everyone else on the team came to the game, you weren’t alone.”
“But none of them were you! Let me be romantic and tell my love story!”
“Alright, alright, no more interruptions. Proceed.”
“Thank you. It was the first day there. I finished the practice for the day and did our daily night call, because we always talk before falling asleep. I dozed off to her talking, so I thought she would be there when I woke up. But when I opened my eyes in the morning, and she wasn’t there, this wave of panic came over me until I realised I was overseas. “That moment was probably it. I thought there, lying on the bed, that I would never be happy unless I wake up next to her every morning and see her sleeping face. Unless I could start off my day by kissing her and holding her in my arms.”
“…That— that’s what you thought when you woke up?”
“Yeah? And I thought that every morning since the— wait, are you blushing?”
“No, shut up and go away, Tooru.”
“AWWWW [NAME]-CHAN IS BLUSHING AND TRYING TO HIDE FROM ME!! YOU’RE SO CUTE AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I WANT TO SQUISH YOUR WIDDLE FACE AND CUDDLE YOU FOREVER MY AMAZING AND PRECIOUS WIFE!”
“Ack, Tooru, I’m going to fall agai—”
*Another technical difficulty, please hold*
Well, I think this has been a very cute and informative session. Quite eventful as well.
“If by eventful, you mean him trying to hug me so tight my ribs break and I get concussions from falling all the time, then yes, eventful.”
“Sorry, [Name]-chan, you were just too cute!”
“Not another word, volleyboy.”
Well, I’m sure your fans will be thrilled to see how cute the two of you are!
“His fans do seem to like knowing little stupid stories we have.”
“They’re our memories and I wouldn’t ever trade them for anything else.”
“…Me neither.”
“Aw, you’re so affectionate today, [Name]-chan. Maybe we should come again next time so I can see you blushing even more!”
We are completely on board with tha— 
“Okay, this is the end of our interview and I hope it was fun for the viewers! Bye-bye now!”
“Ah, she’s escaping! Wait for me, [Name]-chan! Thanks for watching! Bye!”
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iotiamohd · 3 years
Video
@iotiamo follow for follow? <3
Schrödinger’s Leak
We’re extremely sorry to say: this is fake. We made it because we’re agents of chaos  to prove that it was possible to do something like this in two days. It took a lot of work at the sacrifice of our sanity, but we did it, and filmed on a phone like the original leak was, it could pass off as real. (Look through this blog if you want to see the ugly truth of the HD version.)
The problem is...we were originally doing this to prove that the leak was real, because “no way someone would do this in two day, especially without getting paid”, and instead not only we realized it’s possible, but we’re left with more doubts than before. Keep on reading if you’re interested in what we (didn’t) find out, and what we did to put this together. 
We could have posted this a bit earlier, but we didn’t want to distract from the #SomethingToSay campaign.
IO TI AMO
Guys. Guys, we wish we could explain the sheer amount of things Vittorio Guerrieri, Cas’ voice actor, has been in. This man is in every anime dub ever, it’s impressive—we knew finding that specific “Io ti amo” was a losing battle, but we still tried. 
Oh, God, did we try. We went through English scripts of all the rom-coms he’s dubbed; compared that to the Italian subtitles of those same movies, looked for working links to stream the Italian dub and check if the “I love you”s we found were the right one....brain cells were lost. Progress was not made. 
We settled on using the one in Marley & I (lmao), that Owen Wilson’s character says to the dog  to his wife. It’s even better than the one in the leak, in our humble opinion, @ og leaker, suck our collective dicks.
Pictured here: Owen Wilson confessing his undying love for Dean Winchester (as he should).
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ANCHE IO
The closest match we had is Dean's Anch'io, (me too).
Although it wasn't a Supernatural "exclusive" line, we decided to search within the original scripts and look for an Italian corrispondance. We found it.
2x20 [9.54] - What Is And What Should Never Be It not only was a perfect match in terms of sounds, but after analyzing the file with Audacity we had no doubt about it. Furthermore, if you overlap the OG leak's "me too" with the one we found, they seem to perfectly fit. 
Listen to the cleaned and compared audios here, and stay tuned for our mixtape, it’s gonna be straight fire. 
Here are the graphs. The “Anche io” from 2x20:
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“Anche io” from the leak:
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Obviously we didn’t expect them to look the same, considering the differences in audio quality, but they’re still very similar. It was listening to the audios side by side that convinced us. 
...Is this proof that the leak is fake? Idk. Probably yes. But what if it’s a coincidence that they’re so similar? How different could the two graphs for two small words said by the same person possibly be, after all. And what about all the other lines that we couldn’t find a match for? You see now why we’re conflicted. 
CASTIEL
The original idea was to go through every. single. time. Dean says “Castiel” in the Italian dub, hoping to find a perfect match for the one in the leak. We figured every other line could have been taken from the voice actors’ older works (both Castiel’s and Dean’s are very popular here in Italy, and their voices have appeared in...everything, basically)—but that “Castiel” had to come form Supernatural. 
We didn’t find it. We went through a lot of the episodes with Castiel in them, the ones with more emotional scenes first, and found nothing...we ended up getting distracted by the search for Mi dispiace, Dean, when we realized that also had to come from Supernatural. We settled on using the first close match we thought of: the scene in 09x01 where Dean is praying in the hospital’s chapel. 
This is not the “Castiel” used in the leak, so we can’t prove that it’s a recycled line stoled from an older episode of the Italian dub. For all we now, Stefano recorded it for 15x18. 
“Castiel” from 09x01:
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“Castiel” from the leak:
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Does this prove anything, considering how bad the audio quality of the leak is? We wouldn’t get the same exact graph even if it was the same snippet of audio. (By the way, when we started this we thought that Dean had rarely said Castiel’s name like that in the dub. We’d forgotten than Italian!Dean never calls him Cas, the asshole.)
The same problem remains: did the leaker find some obscure anime episode where Guerrieri says Io ti amo and used it to dub Castiel, or is this all very real, and that’s why we couldn’t find it anywhere? We don’t know, we just don’t know. 
MI DISPIACE, DEAN
Apart from the very wistful "Castiel..." right before Dean gets chucked on the ground (lol get rekt), the other line that came without a doubt from Supernatural is "Mi dispiace, Dean."
I'm sorry, Dean, a sentence that Cas doesn't say that often throughout the show: we checked the English scripts, and we found only three instances where it happens (we only have up until season 13 dubbed in Italian, so if he ever says it in the remaining two seasons, it certainly doesn't have an Italian version). 
5x22 - Swan Song: Cas says it, and it's very obviously not the one in the leak. The tone is completely different. 6x22 - Meet the new boss: again, close but no cigar. 7x01 - Reading is fundamental: at first we thought it was the exact same one, and that's why this particular Mi dispiace, Dean is the one you can hear in our fake leak. After checking with Audacity, the one in the episode and the one in the og leak don't correspond. It's just the closest we could find. 
So...? What does this mean? We don't know. It's very possible that Italian!Castiel does say Mi dispiace, Dean somewhere in another episode, straying away from the original English script, but without transcriptions of the Italian dub available online, we had no idea where to start. 
It's also possible that the leak is real, and that's why we found no doubles for this line. 
Also: we've seen people in various posts about the leak saying that the change from "Goodbye, Dean" to "I'm sorry, Dean" is suspicious. It's not uncommon to change lines if it means lipsinking them better, and considering what was happening in the scene, it's not out of place to have Cas apologize to Dean. It wouldn't sound weird to someone who has never watched the original episode. 
But, there's another argument to make...Cas has never said goodbye, Dean in older episodes (as far as we could find), and the og leaker was forced to use the next best thing they could find in the Italian dub. 
THAT MONITOR...THAT DAMNED MONITOR...
That monitor in the leak looked so sus at first. Is it normal for professional studios to use equipment older than some people on this hell site?
Apparently yes. 
We've found a bunch of photos of voice actors in front of the screen they use at work, and they all look like that. Dusty. 
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These pictures also confirmed that the punctuation in the frame rate changes—sometimes it's all :, sometimes it's all ; (like in the case of the OG leak), sometimes it's mixed. Once again, we can't prove anything one way or another.
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This is a pic from 2009 of Davide Chevalier, Sam's voice actor, and the framerate looks different from the one in the leak...then again, it's from 2009. What does it mean? What does it all mean?
FINAL CRIES FOR HELP
If you know more than us, please tell us:
Did we read the Audacity graphs correctly? Do they prove/disprove anything that we didn’t mention?
Does the framerate make any sense? Are we being bamboozled?
Do you have any insight on whether or not season 15 is already been dubbed? We know that season 14 will go on air in bundles of three episodes starting from the 12th of December, so it’s not crazy to think season 15 is already in the works.
Was this worth it? Was any of this worth it? We slept very few hours last night. 
tl;dr: in conclusion, we CAN’T affirm with absolute certainty if the Italian leak is fake or not, since we have evidences leading both way. Sadly, the final word will be when the episode will actually air next year.
IRTF - Internet Research Italian Rogue Task Force
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Rating: T
Summary: The beret smelled like Ladybug. It was only natural that Adrien would wear it to school.  He didn't know why Marinette would look so terrified to see it.(Post-Chat Blanc identity reveal)
Word Count: 5053
Notes:  Requested by my good pal @mozzys-studio​!  (I”m no longer taking requests but this is for the episode-divergent reveal fic asks)
XXX
“Did you know I have a fan club in Brazil, Plagg?”  Adrien asked as he examined the beret Ladybug had dropped off.
“Like I keep track of all the girls who want to gobble you up like a piece of cheese.”  Plagg snorted and lounged on the now-empty windowsill.  It was tempting to run to the window, try to follow his partner’s path home with his eyes.  But he knew better than to breach her trust like that.
“It’s not like that, Plagg.  I’m sure they’re just into fashion, like Marinette.”
Though… the hearts embroidered on it were a little much.  It was too bad the gift wasn’t actually from Ladybug, like he’d first guessed when he’d caught her in his room. 
“I wonder how they got it to her and not me,” he thought out loud.  “Some fans in Brazil wouldn’t know her identity, would they?  That’s on the whole other side of the world.”
“Of course they wouldn’t.  You’re her partner, you know she’s not that careless.”
Adrien didn’t like Plagg’s tone.  Ladybug wasn’t careless at all.  Of course no one knew her identity, or she’d have to give up her miraculous.
Though Master Fu would have to go through him before he ever let that happen.
“You’re right.”  Adrien sighed and flopped back on the bed, still running his fingers over the beret.  The fabric was silky soft, obviously high quality.  “I still wonder how they got this to her.  Even I don’t know how to contact Ladybug unless I’m transformed.”
Plagg shrugged.  “Maybe they sent it to the mayor or the Eiffel Tower or something.  Who cares?  It’s a dumb looking hat anyway.”
“It’s not dumb.”  He held it closer to his chest and caught a whiff of Ladybug’s scent.  Sugar and cinnamon mixed with some kind of flowery perfume.  He’d wear it for weeks just to cling to that scrap of her.
Of course, the smell of camembert would probably overpower it before too long.  Why hadn’t the same company that made “Adrien the Fragrance” bottled Ladybug’s heavenly aroma yet?
He was lost in daydreams of Ladybug modelling for a perfume ad for a few minutes before the itching mystery of the Brazillian fan club intruded again.  Maybe if he looked them up online, he could ask someone how they’d gotten ahold of her in the first place.
Or I could just ask her, the more rational part of his mind said.  But Adrien didn’t have any reason to get close to her, and Chat wouldn’t have any reason to know about her delivery.
Which begged the question… why did Ladybug agree to deliver the present in the first place?  She said there was a postal strike in Brazil, but unless she’d used the horse miraculous, the package had at least gotten to Paris.
“None of this makes any sense.”  His brow furrowed as he picked up the blank card that had come along with the package.  The Brazillians hadn’t even left him a note.
He squinted.  Or maybe they had—it looked like something had been erased from the bottom left corner.
“Hey Plagg, can you make this out?”  He asked.  
The kwami had been oddly quiet. Normally he liked to flip through a magazine or play foosball after a day of being squashed inside Adrien’s fencing gear.
“Huh?  What?  That little smudged spot?”  Plagg waved a paw dismissively. “Nah.  Probably just a stamp that ripped off, or something.  Who cares?  They should’ve sent you cheese instead, anyway.”
“It’s definitely not a stamp.  There’s eraser marks, see?”  Adrien sat up, crossing his legs on the bed.  As he held the paper up to the light, he could almost make out the left over indentations of the word that had been erased.
“I wouldn’t look at that too closely if I were you.  If she got rid of what she wrote, it’s for a good reason, right?”
Adrien’s head snapped up.  “Wait—she?”
Plagg froze, looking guiltier than the time Adrien had caught him sneaking an extra wheel of camembert after dinner.  
“Uh, did I say she?  I mean they!  The fan club, remember?  I bet it’s a lot of shes though.  Or guys maybe, it doesn’t matter to me.”
“No, you said she!”  Adrien scrambled on his knees, rumpling the carefully made comforter.  The beret reamined clutched in his right hand as he came face to face with where Plagg was laying.  “Plagg—did Ladybug actually get this for me?”
“No!  Of course not!  Why would she do that?”  Plagg laughed.  “Come on, kid, you’re just saying that because you wish she would give you a present.”
Adrien’s face fell.  Was he reading too much into it?  After all, Ladybug herself had said the beret was from Brazil.  Why would she lie to him?
“...Maybe you’re right.”  
But he still took another deep whiff from the beret.  She must have held onto it for a while at least.  Would it be so bad to imagine it was hers?  The stitching even looked like it was from a home sewing machine, not a factory.  A few little threads hung off from the underside, just imperfect enough to feel handmade.  And the pattern matched his favorite shirt, the one he was only allowed to wear to school or for stock photo shoots.  His fans wouldn’t have known that if they were focused on his father’s fashion, right?
Getting your hopes up again, he thought with another wistful sigh.
Oh well.  Regardless of the beret’s origin, Ladybug had come to see him.  That was more than enough to cheer him up from the disappointment of Father missing his fencing tournament.
He smiled up at the ceiling.  
“She really is simply the best.”
XXX
At school the next day, he guessed someone might comment on his beret.  Maybe Nino would appreciate having a hat buddy. Maybe Chloe would say that he’d finally learned how to accessorize.  Maybe Marinette would have something to compliment about the design.
What he did not expect was for all of the girls chatting on the steps to look at him like they’d seen a ghost.  And then for each and every single one of them to hone in on Marinette.
“Girl!  I thought you said you didn’t give it to him!” Alya whispered.
“W-well…” Marinette tapped her index fingers together.  What she said after that was too quiet for him to make out, but it had all of the girls looking at each other in confusion.  Rose squealed in excitement.  Alix groaned before shoving a stuffed unicorn at her.
“What’s going on?” He asked Marinette as he approached the group. 
She jumped higher than the time he’d accidentally startled her in the locker room
“Nothing!”  She waved her hands frantically.
Alya’s jaw dropped.  “Girl!  Tell me this isn’t a repeat of the scarf incident!”
Marinette’s panicked eyes flickered between the girls’ gazes, and Adrien wondered if he’d walked in on something secret.  But he was too curious to leave.  And besides, if Marinette was having any trouble, he hoped he could help.
“What scarf?”  His head tilted.  
“Also nothing,” she said with a glare at Alya before forcing a too-wide smile.  “I-I mean, it’s ages ago, it doesn’t matter now!”
“Oh… okay.”  
Concerned though he was, he didn’t want to push her boundaries.  He was about to say that he’d see her in class and that she could always talk to him if she wanted to, but before he could, Juleka spoke up.
“So you like the hat?”  Her bangs swung in front of her eye as she nodded towards his beret.
“Huh?  You know about it?”  Had she possibly seen Ladybug on her way to deliver it?  No, it had been wrapped at the time.
“Of course we do!” Alya grinned as Marinette made slicing motions in front of her throat.  
“Alya,” she hissed under her breath.
“Come on girl, you’re so close!  He obviously likes it!”  Alya whispered back.
Adrien’s brow furrowed.  He was mostly wearing the hat because it still smelled like Ladybug, but they didn’t need to know that.
Alix sighed wearily.  “She didn’t tell you, did she?”
“It was Marinette who made—” Rose began before she cut her off.
“Don’t you dare!” 
If her words were directed at Rose, why was Marinette looking at him with such wide eyed terror?  Did he do something wrong again without realizing, like he had at the wax museum?  Or was his new beret really that ugly?
“I’m sorry.”  He reached towards her vaguely before letting his arm fall back at his side.  If only he knew what he was doing wrong!  He would do anything to make Marinette feel comfortable again.
“We’re just trying to help,” Mylene said softly.
“W-well you’re not!”  She spun and shouted back.  The girls jumped—understandably; Adrien had never heard her snap like that at anyone but Lila, who wasn’t even here right now.  “Just—leave me alone!”
“What?  Marinette!”  Alya called after her, but she was already running away from the school, down the street.
Adrien would’ve preferred to get context from the girls first, but there wasn’t time.  His feet pounded against the pavement as he chased after his friend.
“This is a bad idea,” Plagg hissed from his shirt pocket.  “You just made things worse last time, remember?”
Like he could forget the time she almost kissed him while he was pretending to be a statue.  It still didn’t all make sense to him, but he supposed he deserved it after tricking her like that.
“I have to try.  She could be akumatized if we leave her now.”
Marinette had never been akumatized before, and he wanted to keep it that way.  He wasn’t sure he’d be much help to Ladybug if he was forced to fight her.
Don’t think about that.  She’s going to be fine, he told himself as he rounded a corner and found her pacing frantically at the end of an alley—
And a violet butterfly fluttering straight towards her.
“Marinette!”
He sprinted with all the strength his superpowerless legs could give him.  His transformation phrase caught in his throat, torn between protect Marinette and your identity must remain secret.  He doubted he could regret calling a Cataclysm to turn the insect to dust.  Because even if it meant revealing himself, this was Marinette and he couldn’t let Hawkmoth steal the light behind her blue eyes, watch her become a puppet to his demands and her own twisted emotions— 
But he didn’t decide quickly enough.  When he was three steps from her, the butterfly dissolved into one of her red hair ties.  A translucent purple mask flashed over her wet eyes.
“No,” he breathed.  
This couldn’t be happening.  The moment felt surreal, despite the number of his classmates who had already been akumatized.  And Marinette had always been different from his other friends, even if he couldn’t admit it until he was watching her like this, pulling at her hair, at her ears—
Wait, her ears?
“Adrien,” she gasped, her voice cracking under the pressure of resisting Hawkmoth.  
The bubbling darkness hadn’t washed over her yet.  She might still have a chance.  He wasn’t sure if anyone had ever fought off the supervillain’s influence before, but if anyone could, it was her.
“Marinette, look at me.”  He took her hands, guiding them away from where they clawed at her earlobes.  “It’s going to be okay. Whatever you’re afraid of, whatever Hawkmoth’s telling you he can fix—I promise you, we can do it together.  Without him.”
Her eyes glazed over.  He might not have much time.
But at least he had one advantage.
One hand squeezed both of hers while his other reached up to carefully unwind the tainted hair tie from around her pigtail.  It crumpled beneath his fingers, releasing half of her hair to cascade down her neck—and releasing the dark butterfly back into the air.  
“Oh no you don’t,” he growled and scooped it into his satchel, careful to tug the zipper completely shut.
“Adrien, no!  You’ll be—”
He smiled at her once his prize was caught fluttering helplessly alongside his notebooks. 
“—akumatized,” she finished, eyes wide.
A blush stained his face as he flung his satchel away.  She was right.  He’d been touching the bag.  If his own negative emotions had been strong enough, he might have become an akuma himself.  He couldn’t imagine how awful that would be—for Ladybug as much as himself.
“Sorry.  I didn’t mean to be careless.  I just saw you about to be akumatized, and I…”
I didn’t know if I could bring myself to fight you.  But he couldn’t tell her that.  He scratched the back of his neck.
“You saved me.”  She wiped away tears with the back of her hand.  “Oh my gosh, I was almost…”
She shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself.  Adrien wished those were his arms enveloping her instead, but didn’t know if that would make things worse.  She had asked to be left alone, and he still had no idea what had prompted her panic in the first place.
“Do you want to talk about it?”  He asked gently.  “I know you wouldn’t be this upset if it wasn’t important.”
She bit her lip, eyes flickering to his hat, then to the satchel that still bulged occasionally as the butterfly tried to escape.  Now more than ever he wished he knew how to call Ladybug. Maybe he should’ve done some research on his Brazillian fan club after all.
Though, now that he considered Marinette and the girls’ reactions this morning, as well as Plagg’s slip yesterday afternoon, he was less sure that a potentially-hypothetical fan club could help.
“I can’t.”  She shook her head, and she seemed to wilt.
“It wasn’t… something I did, was it?  Because you can talk to Alya, or anyone else, it doesn’t have to be me.  I just want you to be okay.”  He stepped closer, reaching out to wipe a stream of tears from the soft curve of her cheek.  
She stiffened at the contact.  Right. They weren’t close enough for that either, no matter how much he wanted to be.
(Or how much they might secretly be, if his too-hopeful theory was true.)
“N-no, Adrien, it’s not you at all.  I messed up.”  She squeezed her eyes shut.  “I messed up so, so bad, and now my best friend is going to pay the price for it.”
“Alya?”  He frowned.  
“No.”  She almost-laughed and looked up towards the rooftops.  “I really thought you’d figured it out.  Maybe I’m not too late after all.”
She seemed to be talking to herself more than him.  But by now, he was fairly confident he knew at least part of what she meant.
“You made this beret,” he realized, slipping it off his head and holding it close.  “Was that what you were worried about me finding out?”
The color drained from her face.  
“Would you believe I was commissioned by your fan club in Brazil?”
Ladybug was the only one who knew it was the Brazilian fans who sent it to him.  And she’d mentioned a postal strike there, which meant Marinette couldn’t have made it, unless— 
Visions of his partner and his friend blurred together in his memories.  Marinette dressed as Ladybug for Clara Nightingale’s music video.  Ladybug asking him to team up with Marinette against the Evillustrator.  She may have been able to fool him as Multimouse, but his gut feeling made too much sense to ignore again.
“You’re Ladybug,” he blurted before any better judgement (or the pain of Plagg smacking him under his shirt) could kick in.
“Shhhh!  No one can know!”  
She practically tackled him against the alley wall as her hands slammed over his mouth.  He almost dropped his hat, which didn’t seem as important now that her cinnamon-sugar scent was surrounding him anyway.  He just wished it was because she was hugging him, and not because she was terrified of him knowing her identity.  
The butterfly beat even more forcefully against the cage of his satchel, a reminder of just how important it was that her secret stay secret.  If Hawkmoth found out… he didn’t even want to imagine what could happen.
But she hadn’t tried to lie to him this time.  She was Ladybug—Marinette was Ladybug!  And she’d given him the beret—no, she’d made him the beret, which meant his wishful thinking was actually right, which meant—
The embroidered hearts on his beret suddenly didn’t seem too much anymore.
“Do you—do you like me?”
Even muffled by her hands against his mouth, his voice betrayed too much of his swelling hope.  She’d chosen Adrien to work with against Desperada.  Even if he’d been the wrong pick in the end, that counted for something, right?
“W-what? I—what makes you think I—?”  She stammered before finally hanging her head and releasing him.  “Yeah.  I wanted to give you that beret to finally confess to you, but then Nathalie wouldn’t let me in your house, and so I snuck in as Ladybug even though Tikki warned me not to, and then you found out and I got Chat Noir akumatized and I thought I fixed it when I erased my name but apparently I didn’t and now I have to give up my miraculous or else everyone will find out I’m Ladybug—”
“Maybe you shouldn’t shout I’m Ladybug,” a higher-pitched voice from her bag suggested, and she froze.
“Right. Right.”  She leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths.  
Adrien began rubbing soothing circles on her back—something he’d occasionally do as Chat when Ladybug was stressed.  She relaxed into his touch instead of stiffening this time, probably an instinctive reaction.
Because she was Ladybug.  Marinette was Ladybug. And she’d tried to confess her feelings to him.
He should probably tell her he liked her back, right?  Or would she only feel more stressed by that?  She didn’t seem happy that he’d found out— though that probably had something to do with Chat Noir getting akumatized.
“I can’t let Hawkmoth sense my emotions again,” she said while he was still trying to process everything. “I’m lucky that he didn’t seem to understand most of them.  He knew I was upset because I’d caused a friend to get akumatized, but since almost our whole class has been, that didn’t give him any clues to my identity.  Not that it matters, because I… I can’t be Ladybug anymore anyway.”
Her breath came in short hiccups as tears once again leaked down her face.  
“My la… Marinette,” he corrected himself as he gently turned her to face him.  “You’re an amazing Ladybug.  No one else could do what you do.  Believe me, I’ve—” I’ve tried, he stopped himself from saying.  He caught Tikki’s knowing grin from her spot in Marinette’s purse.  “Anyway.  I won’t let anyone take your miraculous, and I won’t tell anyone your identity, I swear.”
He’d guarded his own secret for this long; he was sure he could do the same for Marinette.  
“And I—and Chat Noir’s never been akumatized.”  Unless he’d forgotten, like during Oblivio or Dark Cupid… but he couldn’t completely forget the fact that he’d been akumatized, right?  He would have at least seen it on the Ladyblog.
“Not yet.” She wouldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s complicated.  Bunnyx—she’s the hero with the miraculous of time—took me to the future, only everything was wrong, and—it’s complicated,” she repeated with a sigh.
Everything about today was complicated.  All because he’d decided to wear the hat that smelled like her.
“If it’s really a big deal, can’t she fix it again?  Or couldn’t she just… I don’t know, have stopped you from giving me this beret in the first place?”  
He clutched the gift tighter.  He didn’t want the proof of her feelings ripped from him, but what else could he do?  She didn’t want him to know.  He’d always meant to respect her privacy.  If he’d been thinking straighter, maybe he would’ve played dumb.  Then she wouldn’t have to panic, and they could be together, and she could come to his photoshoots and he could model her designs and they could adopt a hamster— 
But if what she was saying was true, then the problem was that he knew, not anyone else.
“I guess…” she mumbled, frowning at the beret in his hand.  “But what if she can’t fix it?  If you know, and it gets out, and my partner gets akumatized… I could never forgive myself.  I may be in love with you, but he means the world to me.  I was selfish to still give you that hat when I knew what could happen.”
His heart could’ve stopped right then. She was in love with him! He wanted to spin her in his arms, but he settled for squeezing her shoulder and giving his most comforting smile.
“You didn’t know I’d find out.  And really, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”  He laughed.  “How could Chat Noir ever be akumatized after learning that you’re in love with him?”
She looked up, brows furrowed in confusion.  “But I already told you I’m not—”
Her mouth made a tiny o as recognition flashed across her face.
“Y-you’re him.  You’re Chat Noir.” 
He gave a quick wink.  “The one and only, my Lady.”
Her forehead thumped against his chest, nearly startling him into tripping backwards.
“It’s you.  This whole time I’ve been so worried and it was you!  And I love you so much and—and this is terrible!”  
The butterfly started fitfully fluttering again at her wail.  It was a good thing Hawkmoth could only evilize one at once, or Adrien would worry about him sending another one after her.  He kept his eyes peeled just in case.
“What’s terrible?”  He asked while resuming rubbing her back.
“You—when you were akumatized—you said it was…” she choked back another sob.  “It was our love that did that.  I didn’t think it was possible, since I wasn’t in love with Chat, but… it all makes sense now.  Of course I loved you when we got hit by Oblivio, and in the alternate timeline.  It was always you.”
If Marinette kept saying she was in love with him, he was probably going to combust on the spot.  Which made it very hard to think clearly and come up with a solution that didn’t leave them as star-crossed lovers until Hawkmoth was defeated.
“And it was always you.”  He wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry into his shirt while he ran his fingers through the loose half of her hair.  “If akumatized-me said our love was what ruined everything, then it must have been the butterfly talking.  I would never let Hawkmoth use my love against you, Marinette.  I swear, I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you.”
She pulled back just enough for him to see a smile beginning to form on her face.
“You already did, didn’t you?” She nodded at his satchel. “Speaking of which, I should probably finish taking care of that.  Tikki, spots on!”
It was one thing to know she was Ladybug, but another entirely to feel the pink crackle of her transformation tickle his skin, to see her mask sweep the tears from beneath her eyes.  It unfortunately reset her pigtails, keeping her soft hair from his reach.  
“Adrien, you have to let go of me for a second, at least,” she giggled when he stared at her dumbly.
“Oh.  Right.”  He snapped his arms to his sides, like a kid that had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  
Plagg snickered and flew out from the pocket of his shirt.  “Finally.  You were really squishing me there, Pigtails.”
“Good to see you too, Plagg.”  She chuckled as she unzipped the bag and quickly purified the akuma.  “Bye bye, little butterfly.”
“And good riddance.”  His kwami snorted. “Sorry about my kitten, by the way.  I tried to throw him off your tail before, but he’s too stubborn.  I think he was looking for any excuse for you to be Ladybug.”
“Why wouldn’t I?  Marinette is amazing.”  He hugged the beret over his heart.  “Besides, I was right!”
Her grin lit up the whole alleyway.  “You’re amazing too, Adrien.  Even more amazing than I realized.”
“You—you really think so?”  He was about two seconds away from actually swooning into her arms.
“Of course I do.”  Her eyes softened. “You’re the best partner anyone could ask for, Kitty.  I—I don’t know how I could ever give you up, knowing that you’re not just one but two of the most important people in my life.”
“Me either, Bugaboo.”  
He put his beret back on so both his hands were free to cup her face.  
“Spots off,” she whispered, and his thumbs brushed her cheeks without resistance.  She cupped one hand over his, tracing the circle of his ring in a soothing pattern.  
He could’ve stood there forever, just staring into her eyes, but he knew the conversation about their future couldn’t be put off for long.
“I don’t think Bunnyx is coming to stop us,” she said softly.
“Do you think…” He swallowed.  “Do you think that means we’re going to be okay?”
Her eyes flickered to where Tikki hovered, looking torn.
“I don’t know,” the kwami said.  “I do want you both to be careful, but Adrien is right.  You can’t stop being Ladybug, and he can’t stop being Chat Noir.  Your fight against Feast proved that.”
“And what about us being together?”  Adrien asked a little too eagerly.  Knowing that she loved him back was a dream come true, but it would easily turn to a nightmare if she expected him to act like nothing had changed.  Not that he ever hid his feelings for her, but he’d respected that she didn’t return them.
Except she did.  He was the boy she’d been in love with!
“Didn’t you hear her?  She said you said that your love destroyed the world!”  Plagg exclaimed.
“He wasn’t exactly himself!”  Tikki countered. “It’s impossible to tell what really happened in the future without Bunnyx coming back.  Which is why we need to be careful, but it’s not fair to ask them to just give up their feelings.”
Adrien didn’t particularly care what the kwamis thought.  As far as he was concerned, this was Marinette’s decision.  She was the one who had seen the future, or at least a version of it.
She was the one he loved.  Who he would do anything to protect… but what if that meant letting her go?  Was he selfless enough to do that?
He wasn’t sure.  But he owed it to her to try to be.  
His hands slipped from her face.  
“I’m sorry.  I’m not being fair to you.  You were almost akumatized because of this, and here I am just worried about if you’ll go out with me.”   
He’d said he’d always be there for her, that he’d never let Hawkmoth use him, but how could he promise that when she’d already watched it happen?
“Adrien, no.”  She squeezed his hand.  “It was my fear of the future that almost got me akumatized.  If we have to live like that… always afraid of our feelings for each other—we’re just asking Hawkmoth to come for us.”
“Then… you don’t think it’s too dangerous?”  
Fragile hope danced on the edge of his voice.  Maybe it wasn’t smart.  But the future wasn’t set in stone—the fact that Bunnyx had visited at all proved that.
“I think right now, it’s more dangerous for us not to rely on each other.”  She smiled, and his stomach fluttered with the good kind of butterflies, the ones that wouldn’t try to twist his emotions into weapons.
“It’s too late to put the cat back in the bag anyway,” Plagg sighed.
“It would’ve happened eventually.”  Tikki nodded.  “I wish it weren’t so soon, but we can still make this work if you both are extra careful.”
“We will be,” Adrien promised.  “I want to show you off to the whole world, but we could keep our love a secret instead, if it’s safer that way.”
“You think you’d show me off?  You know you’d be the trophy boyfriend in this relationship, Kitty.”  She giggled and flicked his nose, and heat spread through him.
“I can be your boyfriend?”
“My secret boyfriend.”  Her cheeks were pink too.  “I mean—I wish we didn’t have to, but you’re right.  It’s probably safer this way, so Hawkmoth doesn’t find out.”
“Secret boyfriend still has boyfriend in it.”  He grinned.  “So what are my rights as your secret boyfriend?  What kind of secret things do we get to do?”
He wiggled his eyebrows, making Marinette cough and sputter.
“A-Adrien!”
“I’m thinking secret cuddling, secret movie night, secretly adopting a hamster—okay, that one might be a little harder to pull off—”
Her laughter cut him off.  “Oh my gosh, you’re such a dork.”
“What?  Your dad said you wanted a hamster.  Is that too soon?  Should I have waited until the second secret date to suggest that?”
Her laughter turned to cackling, and he found himself laughing along with her.  They were partners; they were best friends.  She wasn’t going to secret-dump him just because he got a little overexcited about secret-dating her.
“Hmm…”  She tapped a finger to her lips.  “I think it should at least wait until after our first secret kiss.”
His brain officially fizzled out at the word kiss combined with the fact that he was already staring at her lips.  He licked his own, suddenly wishing he’d worn chapstick.
“Um.  So.  That secret kiss—can that be now, or—”
Marinette answered his question by crashing her mouth into his, by tangling her hands in his hair, knocking his beret to the ground.  Which was perfectly okay.  He didn’t need a hat to remind him of her when she was here in his arms and in his lungs.  
No matter how many secrets he had to keep, it would be worth it to be safe and sound with his Lady.
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