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hydraulicpressedspaghetti · 2 days

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I spent a couple hours trying to decipher and write down the lyrics to the stolitz duet (I’ll keep updating as more recordings are posted, hopefully the unintelligible lyrics are easier to hear in at least one!)

Lyrics below the cut (question marks in parentheses mean I’m not 100% sure)

S: thank you too (?????)

The butterflies in my stomach, I have’t felt this nervous(??????) since I was a little fluffy dove, nesting my

Daring do, his half disguise, behind the smile my beak is grinding, never minding

I swore I couldn’t dwell on the divorce, so for my own health, I’ll remind myself

That when I see him, I know that it won’t be so tough, I’ll believe him and not the voice inside of my own head(?!?)

Instead(?) of our arrangement, it can just be him and me, how perfect it could be, when I see him tonight

B: it’s time to meet?(??) alright, alright! It’s been a while since he came for attention! Are we okay? I can’t really say, I’m getting by by avoiding his questions

So complicated, I hate when it’s complicated, why do I alway end up in situations that are complicated

Here I go again, getting in my head, so I’ll focus on the sexy stuff instead

S: when I see him

B: I’m gonna do that thing he likes(??)

S: when he sees me(?)

B: we don’t have to change things, I’ll just bring a load of spice

S: —(???) make things worse

B: we’ve got a nice arrangement, and it’s working out just fine, we’ll keep it light(?)

S: I’ll fucking die alone if this goes bad tonight

Both?: when I see him tonight

S: am I doing something I can’t take back

B: relax

S: would he want me if he was free

B: we’re fine!

S: and if he’s only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me? My entire life’s been written in stone

B: we’re gonna bone

S: he taught me that I could choose

B: cool

S: he deserves a choice to stay or go, though it scares me to think what i’d loose

B: I can’t wait to lose ourselves in nasty sex and make that bird SQUAK

S: what do I(???) ———- (???)

B: we’ll just stick with what makes sense, like him sucking my

S: co ————(??????)

B: who needs words when you’ve got a mouth full of

S: come to your senses

B: ———-(???)

S: this will be(?) all for love and trust

B: I’ll leave his bird puss nice and rough

S: I will love(?????) him soon

B: he’ll be coming-

both: -soon enough

B: oh yeah!

S: when I see him, will it be tender or be tough? Will it please him, or will I just be fucking it all up? Can this be a relationship, or am I still naïve?

I’ll set us free, whatever it may be, when I see him tonight

#helluva boss #stolitz #stolitz duet #spaghetti posting

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sunlightnmoonshine · 2 days

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It is unfortunate that the writers intention was to make the audience feel sympathy for eunseung but lop sided writing meant irritation was only ever directed at the character. The ending that eunseung got was clearly an attempt meant to tug at sympathy strings especially the zoning in on the necklace and the dialogue prior, of him not understanding why he was unloved, but the issue is -

1. there has been no valid attempt to show us why he should be loved in the first place, every attempt to get haein was by ruining her life first, we don't even have a clear reason as to why he liked her in the first place except for pure obsession (which just seems weird now given we have that flashback now and know that he despised the family and you mean to tell me that one dog scene was all it did???). The writer could have even gone the route of saying his need to be with haein was so that he could be closer to his mother or something, like even that would have made more sene than what we got, and so when he looked at haein in with that hurt after literally being a jackass the whole series with no reason why she should have ever liked him it's difficult to give a shit about his death although it's clear the writer was aiming for that.

2. his relationship with his mother has been so poorly executed, we should have got this messed up dynamic in earlier episodes so that we could see how little moh seul hee actually cared about him and how eunseung was broken by this, instead we got a few mediocre conversations that always ended with him willingly benefitting from her plans, plotting with her, ruining characters with her, and all in all just being all "you abandoned me" one scene and then "that's what we need to do to maintain our wealth" the next. We could have had such character exploration by delving into his hatred and abandonment issues had they linked it to the story instead of just shoving his meaningless obsession down our threats.

3. there is little added to his character at all, he doesn't care about anyone, you dont see him meaningfully interact with anyone, even his business prowess is a lukewarm tell don't show situation, when da hye felt bad for him I was like why? there has been nothing shown to the audience where you have reason to feel bad for him, if anything his end seemed too kind after everything the main characters had been put through and more importantly outside of haein he hasn't had a single moment of kindness. Frankly he didn't have a single meaningful moment.

A good villain does not in anyway need to be redeemable, but they do need to be enjoyable to watch and it seems like the writer tried to create a complicated villain but fell short by just giving him three main traits "I have mommy issues, I am obsessed with a woman who has shown no interest me, and I hate the man she loves because I am not him" that for the most part were poorly unpacked and then failed to invoke feeling from a perceptive audience.

With all this said, park sung hoon did a great job working with what little he had and deserves all the praise and well so long eunseung I'll miss yelling at you every week.

#queen of tears #kdrama

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anaalnathrakhs · 1 month

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1, 55, or 57 with Mick and a ship of your choosing for the put that guy in a situation thing <3

ty for requesting bestie i tried going for the whole triad (though more 1. and 57.) AND with the nice usual serving of polycrue bc i'm an indecisive bitch here u go hope it's cool bc none of it was written at socially acceptable waking hours

This is a Song for the Broken Hearted

1k words Rated T for The usual motley crue bullshit Polycrue Prompts: 1. Touch-Starved/Cuddle Curse, 55. Mutual Pining/Oblivious, 57. Accidental Hand-Holding

ALSO AVAILABLE ON AO3, MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM FOLKS

The very first time Mötley Crüe played what they could proudly call a show, not merely a gig, Vince had strutted towards the audience down in the pit, grabbing Nikki’s hand on the way, and o grace, Mick’s too. Tommy had bounced away from his drumkit and come to join them in the front, standing to Mick’s side hand in hand.

His heart had thumped in his chest, desperately. Vince’s crowd-charming nonsense spilled out and Mick heard none of it, none of the rumble of the public just below, droning noises washing up on the cliffside of his brains.

Everything felt gross.

Their palms were thoroughly damp, melding together like mud after the rain.

Sweat beaded on his forehead, smeared down his back and matted his hair.

His clothes hung heavy, rough and irritating and too real against his skin.

But nothing mattered at that moment. The electricity that ran through his veins when from either side his boys squeezed his hands as they bowed down to the public, however painful it might be for him, that was all the comfort he ever needed. And if it were to never happen again, if Mötley Crüe was destined to go out in a blaze of glory only months before they’d started doing real concerts, then Mick could still ride on that high for the rest of his life.

It was exhilarating. Euphoric. Completely foreign. He could thread his fingers through theirs, and know they’d drag him with them, to wherever was the next stop in their headless chicken adventure through this new emerging scene.

Mick thought he knew his way around being in a band. It wasn’t his first stage, it wasn’t his first rodeo. But none of his bandmates before had been quite like this. Quite as stupid, if there was a nice way to put it. But neither were they quite as warm and oh so desperately alive as Nikki, Vince, and Tommy never stopped being for a single second. This band was going places.

It was a great tearing, when the hands went away, dropped his own to their cold solitude and left him until the next encore.

From then on, it became his lifeline. Fragmented and explosive as their ensemble could be, slave to Nikki’s moods, and Vince’s whims, and Tommy’s recklessness, and despite his teeth often grinding in anger, despair, and so much more, it was the cement of it all. None of this could have existed if it were not for the monstrous, evergoing current that flowed through the four of them, merciless. He sought it, this familiar chaos that had come to feel like coming home. He couldn’t have done anything else, could he?

He could always count on the warmth, the comfortable warmth of the hands that took his. The only constant. A definitive sign that none of them would let go.

That’s the vision that visited his dreams, often when he passed out slowly in the little hours of the morning, alone again.

He remembered the fluid touch of Tommy’s thumb, rubbing circles on the back of his hand. Like he somehow knew, or had guessed, or maybe had Mick told him in a moment of weakness he didn’t remember, how precious this minuscule fragment of time was to him. And with such delicacy too; disgusting, terrifying delicacy, like Mick’s hands were going to break, like he didn’t want to hurt his guitarist. His calluses, inevitable from the constant friction of the drumsticks, anchored the feeling deep in Mick’s mind.

He searched for Vince’s hand in the dark sometimes, hoping for the squeeze he earned after hours of playing, sweating, and tearing the music from the strings. The intimate millisecond where someone, anyone, told him and him alone that he’d done good. He’d always squeeze back. Vince seemed to notice, and smiled bright and solar at Mick before turning to the crowd and announcing the greatest motherfucker on guitar, the one and only Mick Mars. But the hand meant so much more.

Nikki never did touch as much, moreso he reluctantly let Vince drag his hand as well during salute, but every once in a while he brushed Mick’s hand walking past, before the show, at the afterparty, when he left rehearsal. He never looked, never looked away either. For the longest time, it seemed like happy little accidents, until one day he blinked at Mick, and all the pieces of the puzzle fell together, practically screaming at him that he was seen. It was Nikki’s way to prove him he was right there with them. Mick felt nauseous, yet he kept leaning towards his bandmates.

And for a while, it seemed like all he was ever going to get.

Because that was the sad truth. Mick wanted. Wanted so much, so desperately it almost made him sick, so deeply he’d feel his heart break over and over again every day the bustling afterparty died down behind his back as he staggered back home.

He never wanted to face it, never wanted to look down at their interlocked hands, in fear that it would start within him something he could not quench. His wife’s hand had felt like a bridge above the inevitable gap. These hands felt like the rightful place for his. Like everything was finally on the right track, and he never ever wanted them to leave. He crossed his arms at night, held onto himself like a lifeline to fight off the emptiness of a lone bed in a lone apartment.

That is, until the day he must’ve dozed off drunk on someone’s couch, and when he woke up in the dark, helped by a sliver of sunlight coming in through the patchy broken blinds, he saw before he felt the hands in his hands, on his chest, around his waist.

He didn’t ask any questions. Didn’t speak a word. There could have been many to raise, of the sort of why the hell exactly were his bandmates using him as a pillow. Why didn’t they just go home, to their ratty nasty flat, though that one might’ve been self-evident. What would they do when they woke up. But he didn’t say any of that. Instead he let himself melt into the pleasant warmth of the softest binds he’d ever known.

The mindless humming around him was proof enough that everything was going to turn out alright.

#idk im tired i banged out 900 words of this tonight for seemingly no reason???#i love writing i hate writing i have a complicated relationship with writing #ty so much for requesting robin mwah #i write things sometimes #motley crue #mick mars #rpf #motleyposting on main

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eggmansplatformboots · 9 months

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theyre that couple that say goofy lovely dovey things like ‘marry me?’ before making important decisions as like their ‘i love you’ or whatever and then will fight to the nondeath over small inconsequential things eg sonic put shadows eyeliner in the wrong fucking cabinet!!

#shadow proposed first btw #they both almost died and lost their legs (shadow right sonic left)#and so when he woke up one of the first things he said to sonic was ‘you’re alive!’#and immediately after ‘marry me!’#hes gay like that #btw i am so very aroace and theyre like. dubiously romantically involved #theyre more like queerplatonic with some romance but also not like their relationship is romantic #theyre partners theyre rivals theyre married they hate each other they love each other more than anything in the world #they will travel the universe together until the end of time #theyve buried all of their friends together #they have fought on every planet they landed on #yes they kiss but its just to reassure that they love each other #they hold hands and hug they will also claw each other apart #they are so very gun song coded idk #i love them and they are partners until the end of time #rivals to lovers but make it nonexclusively romantic #i hate romance where its just romance give me complicated entanglement #i also love sonadow when theyre just romance dont take this the wrong way make them love each other HOWEVER #i dont understand writing romantic relationships like that!#ok ive talked too much in the tags #sonic #sth #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow #immortal au tag #art tag

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venerablegreatking · 2 years

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That Time I Realized Exactly What Executive Dysfunction Was With Instructions On How To Write An Effective Conclusion For Your Next English Comp Essay On The Side

I thought I knew what executive dysfunction was.

I knew it meant having trouble starting and finishing projects. I didn't think I had executive dysfunction, even when the signs were right there, and here's why.

I thought that when executive dysfunction stopped you from starting projects, it meant you avoided starting them. In my case, though, it didn't. When I had to write essays in college and high school, back when I was unmedicated, I would wait until I was in a good mood and had ample free time to start my work. I would open up a blank word document and start by putting my name, the teacher's name, the course name, and the date, as is standard MLA format. I would put a placeholder for the title, as those are easier to form after writing the essay, and then I added my page numbers. And then, I would stare at the blank word document for 10 minutes, trying to think of something to write; it mattered not what I did, for I just could not bring myself to start writing. So I would put it off until the due date, when the pressure of failing would force me to write.

This is executive dysfunction. I could prepare to start as much and as long as I wanted, but I could never actually start. I thought that my preparation to start my essay to-be counted as starting. It did not. And, until yesterday, when I was actually able to start my work within seconds of finishing my preparations, I never realized I had executive dysfunction.

After I started my essays, I would build a brilliant introduction and background to my topic, as well a strong body overflowing with in-text citations, topic sentences, and effective argument techniques; everything a perfect essay could ever need. But when it came time for a conclusion, I was stumped. I knew that the average conclusion was supposed to include a rewrite of the thesis statement and a recapping of all the plot points, but I could never truly "wrap it up." I could restate my prior points perfectly, and I could do a fairly decent job connecting them, granted my brain was able to focus that day. They were strong points, but my conclusions were never strong enough. In my conclusion, after restating the thesis and recapping/connecting my body points, I was once again stuck.

The best essay I ever wrote was when I was in high school taking English Comp I. My conclusions were always my biggest weak point, and my teacher noticed. On my third and second to last essay, she reached out to me. She helped me recap and connect my body points, and, afterwards, she gave me some advice.

To truly "wrap up" an essay, you have to...

I don't remember. I don't remember what she said to me, but my conclusion came out perfect.

My essay was about Grey wolves, and how they were stupidly taken off the Endangered Species Act by one well-known, mentally unstable, walking orange with too much power. I talked about how they were low in numbers, how they were especially vulnerable during their proposed hunting season, and... I talked about the stigma. The stigma that reaches all the way back to Columbus' time, when wolves were an inconvenience for the settlers, preying upon livestock confined to their pastures. The stigma that made them out to be demons, fiends that would run about in the night and cause nothing but mischief and mayhem. The stigma that made killing them off a noble enough task to warrant a bounty. The stigma that made them so vulnerable, so weak, and so, so scarce.

They say that history is always written by the winners, and, in the case of the Grey wolf, this statement could never be more true.

Bringing this back up is making me pretty salty isn't it? But I digress.

I wrapped up my essay perfectly, and here, my dear tumblrinas, is a paraphrasing of my parting words:

"As long as the stigma surrounding Grey wolves persists, they will always remain endangered. They became endangered the minute the pilgrims stepped off their boat."

That. That is what a conclusion is supposed to look like. After connecting my ideas to my thesis and to each other, I just did not know what to do. But that, that up there, that is what you are supposed to do. You are supposed to re-assert yourself. You mention your opinion only twice. Once in your introduction, and once in your conclusion. You put the idea out there, right at the very beginning, so that it sits there in the back of your reader's mind for the rest of the essay. And in your body paragraphs, you give the facts. The ones that support your thinking, but also the ones that do not. You compare and contrast the viewpoints, where they converge, where they diverge, and where they end up. And, if your topic is important enough to the right people, you will find a happy medium. A compromise, so that both your concerns and your opposer's concerns can be addressed. Can be acknowledged. Can be put to bed.

And then, once you have stated your case and laid the facts bare and unbiased in front of your reader, you clean them up. You pick up the papers that have scattered out of your case file, and put them back in order. You re-organize them, shuffle then neatly back into place, close them back up in your folder, and place that folder down with all of the care and gentleness you would a newborn babe. You give your reader a little recap, to make sure they are still with you, and to make sure they understand how these points all tie together flawlessly in support of your argument.

And then,

You drop that gentleness. You look your reader in the eye and assert yourself once more. After finishing up with the main meat of your argument, you are sure to have some leftover passions coiled within you. Righteous anger, bubbling up from within the pit of your stomach. A fire behind your eyes; a fire that can only be quenched by the tears of those who have wronged; those who have wronged this extraordinary planet and all creatures that walk upon it.

Yes I am still angry about the wolves, and yes this is still about my executive dysfunction, just hang in there, okay?

You take that anger, that fire, that righteous fury set on making your voice known, on protecting the things you hold dear and sacred to you that could not be protected otherwise, and finally, you assert your opinion. You drop that professional, unbiased courtesy that you've been forced to uphold, to display. You've stated your opinion, and you've stated your reasoning, and now,

now,

you "wake them up."

They have been reading your essay this whole time, picking it apart bit by bit and analyzing it. Analyzing you, the writer. And now that you are in their sights, now that you can finally be yourself, in all of your beautiful, biased glory...

You slap them.

Hard.

Right across the face, point blank.

You take your words, your weapon, carefully crafted for this very purpose, and you bludgeon them over the head with it as hard as you possibly can, and then some.

You have shown them all the rawest, deepest parts of yourself. You have cut out your heart, and displayed all that is written upon it. You hold it before their very eyes, and force them to take in every last inch of it. And they do.

You've taken what matters most to you, and you've put it on display for the world to see. You make it personal. And you make them care.

You make them care about it just as much as you do.

And, if that fails, at least you've made an impression. You've brought it to their attention. You've planted it, like a seed, in the back of their mind.

And that is what I had been struggling with. Over all those years; those countless years of essays that would always fall short of "good enough" in my eyes.

All because of my executive dysfunction.

And now,

now that all the essays have been submitted, and the assignments no longer handed out, and my words no longer requested, no longer being asked to be heard, do I finally realize what it means to truly start and end an essay.

An assignment.

A task.

A chore.

A hobby.

I really don't know why I am writing this. I guess that, after finally being able to think clearly after all those years, all the thoughts I've ever had, regardless of how fleeting, or half-baked, or pointless they are, deserve to leave. To live on, be it through my words, my actions, my pointless musings (much like this one), or through my love for creation.

I hope you are doing well, and I hope that you were able get a general gist of what I was saying. I have gone full on "essay-mode."

And guess what? I sat down, pulled up my phone, began a new post,

and,

I started it.

And then I ended it.

All at the same time, in the same sitting.

This was originally supposed to be a rant about me realizing I had executive dysfunction and explaining my experiences with it, but it's turned into something very, very different.

If you identify with anything I said above about struggling to start and finish assignments because your brain is leaving you on "Read" 24/7, maybe talk to someone about it.

I just wanted to get this all out here so that other people don't have to realize the hard way, like I did, that their brain has been effectively ignoring them their entire teenage/young adult life.

Oh, and also I guess it serves as like, tips and instructions on how to write an effective conclusion. For essays, arguments, debates, maybe even everyday conversations. It's just good advice in general when trying to communicate a thought effectuvely I guess.

Anyways,

I have been sitting in the same exact place on the same exact sofa for 2 whole hours typing this out and now my hand circulation is bad, and they're all cold and clammy and gross, and my mouth is dry becuase I've only had like maybe 5 sips of water max in the past 12+ hours, and I have yet to eat my lunch.

So I must now bid you adieu

#adhd #executive dysfunction #essay writing #essay tips #i have a very complicated love-hate relationship with conclusions #i did this instead of my mountain of work #thank god for vyvanse #all those thoughts were getting backed up in there no wonder i felt horrid #venny muses into the void #long post #vent post

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scattered-winter · 8 months

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wait hang on who are the hot gay boys in that gif set you reblogged

HGLHSIERGLSJDGALKSHGLK i was gonna put the [do you have any idea how little that narrows it down] meme but im pretty sure u mean this one <3 and in any case i will always be down to ramble about the Sillies(tm)

ok so those guys in particular are from the fox procedural called 9-1-1 Lone Star, which is a spinoff of the original 9-1-1 (which just got moved to abc after some Drama that went down so my tag for it is 911 (not fox) lmaoo). but both shows are about first responders (firefighters, paramedics, dispatchers, police) with a particular focus on firefighters. 9-1-1 (the og) is set in LA, and primarily focuses on the 118 firehouse and the firefighters/paramedics there with some other characters in the main cast who work as dispatchers/police officers (the police storylines are more often than not FULL of copaganda which sucks but the main focus is on the firefighters so i'm able to enjoy the rest of the show). 9-1-1 Lone Star is pretty much the same except it's set in austin texas, and is about the 126 firehouse. there are onscreen queer characters in both (in the og there's a married lesbian couple raising a kid, and in lone star there's the aforementioned hot gay boys [one of whom is unfortunately a cop but i swear to GOD i will get him out of there. one day.] and in lone star there's also a trans man and wlw woman in the main cast.) and my favorite thing about these shows is the found family !!! like these are the shows that have endeared firefighter aus to me because they live together and eat meals together and just. the familial/platonic love is So Powerful and it legiterally makes me cry to watch. like there's romance ofc but genuinely it's one of my favorite found family medias to ever exist. its So.

of the two the og is my favorite for a LOT of reasons, but they're both pretty enjoyable !! lone star definitely has more of a comedic tone than og (theyre BOTH funny but lone star doesn't have as many somber intense moments as og does, and they're much more spread out so there's a lot more room for goofy shenanigans. but og still definitely has plenty of those) and the team dynamics in them both are just...ughhh <3333

HOWEVER. lone star has ..... Him...(derogatory)...he's the fire captain and (despite lone star SUPPOSEDLY being an ensemble show with no Main Character) is in fact. the Main Character. and he's the blandest most obnoxious crustiest white man to ever LIVE. he gets most of the storylines and he's constantly propped up by the writing as The Coolest Guy Ever when he's just . not . i hate him so much it's unreal it's soo so unreal (<- biting the bars of my cage) BUT the rest of the team ??? absolutely love them. like i DO love lone star a lot its a great show with great characters and dynamics but it just has. the most annoying guy to ever live front and center when ITS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ENSEMBLE SHOW FEATURING EVERYONE EQUALLY. grr. anyway. og does a much better job of being an ensemble show, and i could not choose a favorite character of the main cast if you held me at gunpoint. angela bassett is there. i am gay. jennifer love hewitt is there. i am very gay. etcetera.

AND SINCE YOU ASKED SPECIFICALLY ABOUT THE LONE STAR GAYS ILL TELL YOU A BIT ABOUT THEM

so one of them is tk strand (firefighter/paramedic, also the son of the Main Character (derogatory). i have many many many thoughts about that. i would probably get gunned down in this fandom if i ever said them aloud.) and the other one is carlos reyes (a private detective TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE but unfortunately fox is full of cowards who refuse to see the truth. they wanna have a gay cop in their show sooo bad </3) and they're kind of the main romance of the show (there Are others ofc but theyre like. The Focus. which is fine ig but i do wish there was more focus on other relationships because in general lone star isnt as good as the ensemble thing as og. but i already complained about that so i digress.)

now they're a fun pair because one of them has been shot, frozen almost to death, and otherwise put into a coma on MULTIPLE occasions. and it's not the guy whose entire job is to get shot at. (the whump in both of these shows.....................absolutely effervescent. im thriving here.) and they have a very fascinating relationship because their personalities fit together really well but they have different ways of coping with shit that kind of tear each other apart a little bit. which is of course terrible for them but incredible for me. and the writing is at times ridiculous. soap opera-esque, even. they're ridiculous. i adore them. they cannot catch a god damn break and i love that for them even more. <3

#I DO LOVE BOTH SHOWS A LOT I PROMISE I JUST HATE OWEN </3 #would recommend watching og first just because its my fav of the two. of course u do not have to but i would be over the moon if u did #but there's no pressure ofc ofc im just happy to ramble about the Show Ever #there IS a crossover episode where the two stations meet because the 118 (la) are called in to help with a big wildfire in texas #with a bunch of other firefighters in the region #its my beloved episode of all time. for fucking real.#franke 🔪#911 abc #911 lone star #also literally ANYONE you ask will say that the og also has a gay couple in the main cast (buddie) but. its a very popular ship #that is of yet not canon. and oh my god. do i have some complicated feelings about buddie. hoooo boy.#(i Do love their relationship and i Do think they work well together and i Do think it could be compelling for it to happen but. But.#the levels of brainrot (derogatory) that i have seen in this fandom over those two...absolutely fucking bonkers.#its a minefield out there. im being so fr u gotta watch your BACK #anyway. i could write an essay on them and how complicated it be. </3 #ANYWAY TEEEHEE TY FOR ASKING :]]#i can send u sooo many scenes . you need only ask <- no pressure ofc but they are just So...#found fambly...

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thetwelfthcrow · 6 months

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Hello zhalia 😊 i just wanted to ask when can we expect an update for racing heartbeats? I also want to congratulate you for such an amazing story it’s definitely one of my favourite fics 🫶🏻 and wanted to ask have you ever read a 4433 fanfic titled “the things we do for love” it’s also one of my favs I would definitely recommend it. Thanks and have a good night! ☺️

hello love!

you're lucky you sent such a sweet message, since i'm not too keen on responding to 'when update' questions these days. in short: you can never expect an update from me. it's not something i owe you! i'm writing whenever i want to on whichever project i want to and right now Racing Heartbeats is not my main priority. frankly, i haven't got the inspiration for it. i've opened it a few times the past month and i've come back empty-handed. so i'm not gonna force myself to write more for it now. my true motivation lies in keep me under the charm right now! but we'll see, maybe in a few days, weeks or months my inspiration strikes again and i'll finish a chapter and post it. for now though, not the case.

i do immensly appreciate your kind works! i never expected racing heartbeats to be so loved <3

i've looked around AO3 but i can't seem to find the fic you're referring to? could you send me a link? i'd love to read one of your favs <3

#Anonymous #i've a complicated relationship with racing heartbeats that switches between 'i love this so much i'm so proud of myself holy shit!'#and 'i absolutely hate this work i don't want to be associated with it whatsoever'#regardless of all that: i will finish her and post more regularly when i do #now is just not the time for it! and i'm prioritising me over literally everything else. and i am not feeling writing for RH right now #racing heartbeats #zhalia’s lil’ chit chat #oh also high chance i can't find fics bc i've users muted. i have 0 tolerance for people who make prompt collections One Work #with like a million chapters and a billion different ships. make a goddamn series

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zaras22 · 1 year

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I have been thinking about Sallione of Aureos…

#she is so… ugh jsdknkvhjsdbhvhbe you have no idea #I‘ve been thinking about giving her some sort of backstory that would explain why she is like she is #like… a traumatic one #but #the thought of her just being like she is because she just.. is #is more fun in my opinion #why try to redeem her??#it’s not like I hate her as a character I think that she gives me a lot of ideas to explore #like: her relationship with Summer. her view of this world. of her people. what does she care about?#what is something that she couldn’t care less for?#but I think that by keeping her like she is and not going out of my way to make her a good person is just more interesting #I could make her an extremely complicated character and I love the thought of that #idk if I can pull it off but…#I can try!!#and also… I need to figure out what Summer thinks of her #like… their relationship is complicated… but that’s the only fact that I’m sure of #why is it complicated?#and… what does she think of her father?#anyways this is what I do instead of writing the actual story #if anyone actually reads this then.. thank you #I think I have a certain miss Sallione to draw…#talking #oc

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hella1975 · 2 years

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i literally NEVER have ideas for soft soukoku even though it's my favourite thing to read in bsd fics bc alas dazai and chuuya are Like That and don't know how to be normal, but like what if chuuya struggles to sleep bc of his ability? what if it's normally manageable but some big event is giving him nightmares? what if when he has these nightmares, his ability automatically goes haywire and he winds up spending a fortune on repairs for everything he keeps breaking in his room? what if after a few days of sleeplessness he's finally out of it enough to genuinely consider asking dazai for help? what if dazai agrees to use no longer human while chuuya sleeps as a JOKE bc 'awww if you're missing me you can just say so~' but dazai finds it helps with his insomnia just as much? what if chuuya waits for the humiliation he knows is going to come from dazai telling everyone about his moment of weakness, waits for dazai to make him regret it, but it never comes? what if that fragile trust between them that got destroyed when dazai left flickers back to life again in these moments when it's just them in the darkness? what if it becomes a mutual agreement, a very reluctant 'this helps both of us' that neither of them are happy about that slowly grows into something more? something they begin to like? something they perhaps even look forward to? what if-

#me looking at the state chuuya and dazai's relationship is in: sex wont cut it you two need to hold each other #hi i dont know where this idea came from but it's plaguing me and i really want to write it #yes im touch starved yes 'literal sleeping together' is one of my favourite tropes keep scrolling #bonus points if the reason chuuya got the idea to ask dazai to sleep with him was bc it's something he had to do when he was younger #when his ability was a lot more out of control but also when there was a lot more trust between him and dazai #('trust' is used in soukoku terms. to a bystander it's all very fucked up and complicated but it makes sense to them)#however now dazai's in the ada and chuuya's in the port mafia and he HATES dazai #but shit chuuya has not slept in DAYS he's practically delusional at this point and very very desperate #like have you ever gone even two days without sleeping? it makes you crazy and if the idea of dazai's ability helping him sleep #was already in chuuya's brain bc they've done it before then i GUARANTEE it would not be far-fetched for him to resort to it again #and dazai agrees purely to make fun of chuuya and exploit a weakness bc this is dazai we're talking about #and if there's one thing i love it's realistic soukoku portrayal where they actually have to work really hard from a shitty start point #but still chuuya is just fucking EXHAUSTED and he doesnt care about the teasing or backlash at this point so he calls anyway #and dazai is there #and the joke gets immediately turned on HIM bc it's the 'best sleep ive had in years' trope and dazai's like SHIT #the entp has harmed himself in his own attack #hmmmmmmmm thinking #bsd #soukoku

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grimm-plague · 1 year

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Anyone else do that thing where you create a story but haven’t done anything for it yet (because burnout) so only you know about it. Or you know media that your friends don’t know so you only know. Then you end up associating a song with that story and the characters and their relationships. Then you end up crying over them because you hear the song pop up on a playlist. And when people ask what’s wrong you can’t explain cause the story is about 3 seasons long at this point. You’d need to explain all of it and you can’t sum it up because that wouldn’t do it justice. Then you’re so emotionally distraught you can’t even speak.

Just me?

#this is the fourth time this month #people are thinking im insane at this point #creators on tumblr #writers on tumblr #worst part is I’ve been going through creative burnout this month #I don’t have the motivation or energy to draw or write them #so they stay in mind #and if I try to explain it to someone #I end up an emotional mess halfway through because I know what’s going to happen next #I love my characters and I hate when they suffer but *I’M* the one who’s making them suffer #my relationship with these stories are more complicated than most people’s marriages

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saintchaser · 2 years

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thinking if i called a wolf a wolf

remus' beauty never, ever scared sirius, because remus himself never scared them. with eyes of amber and dark curls and tanned skin, remus was nothing but beautiful, in their eyes. sirius didn't separate him from the wolf, because they were identical, but not really. a conundrum, if you will, how they were the same and so different. still, sirius had never been afraid of either.

i might dull its fangs

they loved the wolf and the man, the howls and whispers in the night, the eyes glinting with animalistic madness and eternal love. the wolf was the wolf, and the wolf was remus, two entities. two people, remus and sirius, two hearts that had collided together, crashed into each other, and left nothing but broken pieces of love behind.

#calling a wolf a wolf #quote from kaveh akbar #hey remember how i said that i haven't written wolfstar. like. genuine wolfstar and not just as a side pairing. in a while? well #well look. wolfstar again <3 #anyways their relationship is so complicated. love and sabotage. love and hate. it's so many things at the same time and neither of them #<- can tell everything apart fully. they just take it that way as it is until it consumes them entirely and they have only the remains of #<- their love out of everything else they have had #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #my writing

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the-sappho-of-lesbos · 2 years

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I just wrote 100 words which is next to nothing but considering it’s the most I’ve done in a while I’ll take it.

I’m still working on my ~dream novel~ (I say working. More like thinking lol) that’s all uwu sad and lonely lesbian with magical realism.

I think I’ve mentioned before where I’m in this weird pit of not being good enough at writing to make something fun and engaging and the type of fiction you get fandoms over. And my ideas are more in that depressing area. But I’m also not skilled enough to write literary fiction so I’m kind of just. There. Throwing words at page and repeating the same sentiments of sadness over and over and over again because I have nothing else going for me lol.

BUT I was thinking. Maybe I should make the most self indulgent piece ever. Just to get into the flow of writing again. Not to share with anyone. A farmer lesbian werewolf isekai with found family and adopted child lol.

Just balls to walls everything I enjoy SMACKED into one. And it’s okay if it’s terrible because it’ll just be for me.

And maybe writing out of my normal uwu sadness will make it easier for me to write my sadness.

#I don’t know though honestly #I have such a complicated relationship with writing since being published #like I think I hate on my work MORE since then #I know I’m just depressed too so that doesn’t help #but I just have so little motivation and I hate everything I write and I just want to be good enough for people to genuinely like it and #compliment it and not just say nice things because they are are nice #I want people to fully engage and care about what I write #to ask me questions not to be polite but because they genuinely enjoy it #to have like a reciprocal type of love #it seems to be that in every aspect of my life I’m just sitting in the unrequited lol #personal

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vounoura · 1 year

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that whole need to make every DLC accessible to everyone is why imo Veya’s writing was so hamstrung btw

#spoilers #major spoilers #summerset spoilers #see bc newbies need an overarching villain for this content #Veya can't have *too* many ties to Balmora questline bc that would require writing her w/ those choices in mind.#so Veya needs to be hilariously evil so that newbies don't feel bad abt killing her #while also skating by the fact she's a horrifically traumatized CHILD who's actively being taken advantage of #and if you did Balmora all you get is her real name and some changed dialogue but she's Evil Lmao so you have to kill her anyway #Veya's SS writing has the double whammy of making Naryu incredibly OOC so!#I have a complicated love-hate relationship with SS ok leave me be #saint.txt

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titsthedamnseason · 2 years

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I'm so scared of reading Loren from Luna and Donnelly povs 😭 I already know some part of the fandom is gonna turn on him like they did when he didn't like raisy and honestly he was right the age thing is a huge factor and even bigger one for lunelly so he's right to be annoyed!!

i know….he still gets so much hate for the daisy situation which is just like. wild lol. people are obviously just mad he was getting in the way of their ship (which btw, as a hoe for drama i can’t even really see that as being a totally bad thing) but the excuse they use is that his intentions were corrupt and he didn’t actually care about daisy? which i honestly don’t read it that way at all. like yeah he wasn’t super involved in daisy’s life but he HAD known her since they were little so it would make sense he’d be protective over her. no one says anything like that when he talks about feeling protective of rose and they arguably had an even more strained relationship. at worst, his intentions in that situation were hypocritical and at best he was looking out for a young girl entering a relationship with an older man that absolutely no one else was stepping in to scrutinize (besides her parents, who, as usual, did an effed up and half assed job)

but anyway, i already have been seeing extra hate on him for this which is crazy. people have no ability to empathize especially when their ship is involved. luna is his daughter and has only had one previous relationship that really destroyed her self esteem so it seems obvious to me he would be protective. and if it’s a little over the top at some scenes, who can blame kbr for playing it up to add drama to the plot?? like i said maybe i just love the drama of it all too much but to me that just makes it more interesting and fun to read like i already know that any scene w lo in these next few books will immediately be some of the most entertaining and painful content of the series all at once and i’m excited for it lol

and the other thing, your comment about seeing him through luna and donnelly’s eyes makes me wonder which direction they’ll go with that. because i feel like on the one hand luna will always love her dad and see where he’s coming from but i’m also sure we’ll see scenes where she’s hurt by his words or feels stifled by his protectiveness and will think down on him. and similarly, i imagine donnelly will be torn between respecting him and being frustrated at the situation. the annoying part is that some people just don’t have reading comprehension and will ONLY be able to see him through the vilified lens regardless of the ways luna and donnelly may be biased or will obviously forgive him eventually after all the turmoil

#addicted fandom hates nuance LMAO #these books aren’t even That complicated to the point you need a lot of braincells #they just have complex relationships that people refuse to see as anything but black and white lmao #bc kbr may be bad at a lot of things but writing characters and their intricate dynamics is not one of those #asks #anonymous #kbr asks #that one line about being empathetic has me feeling like ‘i (an empath) am sensing loren hale’s love for his daughter’

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