#i love her though and personally think she’s simply a silly billy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tokiro07 · 1 year

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Undead Unluck ch.151 thoughts

[But I Stay Billy]

...So I was sorta right last week. Fuuko did not scare off two military groups with lasers

She scared them off by activating Disc at all

Which I guess makes sense, the whole point of the operation was to steal Disc because it’s an unbeatable superweapon; if someone else gets to it first, no matter who it is, they’re automatically too much of a threat to simply fight for it, aren’t they?

Plus, with the military out of the way, we get to jump right into the juicy stuff: developing Billy’s character!!!

I mentioned to another user recently that even if an Undead Unluck character seemed unlikable at some point, their backstories never fail to make me fall in love with them, and Billy is a particularly interesting case for me because we just keep learning more facets of him while seeing that they’re shockingly consistent with what we already knew

Billy being a bit of a goofball, screaming for Tella to save him when Disc starts flying only to stand at attention and start smoking all cool-like when he realizes that Fuuko’s looking at him, is so perfectly in-line with what little we saw of him back in the beginning of the story. “Huh? I’m gonna die?” when Juiz forced Tatiana to point her lasers at him, the long-cake bars that he designed himself for Tatiana; we didn’t get to interact with him much, but it was clear from the beginning that he’s an overall silly person, which was just enough to throw us for a loop when we learned that he was the leader of Under

The thing about that, though, is that it was just enough; we understood conceptually that Billy’s betrayal was upsetting to the cast, but I’ve seen a lot of readers who found the twist itself to be fairly weak because it was so abrupt. We only knew the bare minimum about Billy, so this didn’t feel like a huge betrayal of our expectations, it admittedly felt kind of lazy, like it was just the Aizen reveal from Bleach without any build-up

And this brings us to the current loop: everyone we met in the first loop had a similar level of simplicity that is only now being deepened. While the entire cast was kind of shallow in the beginning, it ultimately served as a way to pique our interests, a teaser for the real story to come. Once we learned that the loops were even a factor, it became something of an inevitability that we would meet the dead cast again; Loop 100 was just a preview for all of the characters that would get to develop later, and it gave us the opportunity to think “I want to know more about them”

Every character that we’ve seen this time has made me so excited. “Oh! We finally get to be properly introduced to Void!” “It’s Yusai!!!” “Oh great, it’s Sean...actually, wait, maybe I’ll come to like Sean!” While I do think that everyone could have stood to be a bit more fleshed out early on, I’m grateful that things went the way they did now, because it means that the first half of the story focused on the most important thing, Andy and Fuuko’s relationship, while still serving as a solid introduction to our supporting characters, and the second half allows us to focus on the team itself, more specifically Fuuko’s relationship with them

I guess that’s really the main thing: everything is about Fuuko’s relationships in the end. Part 1, she gets to know Andy, Tatiana, Chikara, Rip, Latla, Isshin, Juiz, and Nico (through Andy’s fight with him); Part 2, she’s getting to know everyone else in sequence, and even gets a do-over with Gina, something I had been hoping for since chapter 20 when I pieced together that the loops existed in the first place. Tozuka never lost sight of that idea, and while he didn’t completely eschew the supporting cast, he chose to only worry about telling us things that were centered around Fuuko for the most part, and that’s paying dividends now

Circling back to Billy, that’s actually a fantastic parallel between them: Fuuko’s entire story is centered around how she builds her friendships with people, partially because Unluck is dependent on her love for others and partially because she’s the leader of the Union; Billy’s Unfair, conversely, is dependent on the hate others feel for him, so he actively destroys his friendships and builds a team specifically of people who feel no loyalty for him and whom he can turn on at a moment’s notice if stealing their powers would be advantageous for him. By Billy’s current interpretation of Unfair, he cannot use his ability if he has the sort of relationships that Fuuko seeks to cultivate, and thus must become a lone-wolf who actively pushes others off of the battlefield to scowl at him from the sidelines

This is why Fuuko’s plan to recruit Billy necessitates a battle with him, even if he technically isn’t an enemy at this point: she needs to prove to him that he’ll be stronger with a team. To Billy, having people weaker than him on the battlefield will only result in their loss, so he tries to protect them by keeping them at arm’s length, whereas Fuuko’s approach is to keep them within arm’s reach so she can protect them and be protected by them in turn. If the Union can beat Billy in combat, that should prove to him that they’re not so weak as to need his protection, and that they are just as capable of protecting him should the need arise

This is why it’s especially poignant that while the Union is ganging up on him, Tella swoops in and evolves Untell to protect Billy. Tella took a seemingly useless ability that only seemed to hamper communication and turn it into an impenetrable shield. How his interpretation changed, I can’t say, but if I had to guess, I would say that he interprets an attack as an incoming communication, and uses Untell to negate any form of communication involving himself, not just outgoing messages such as speech. I’ve theorized this to be the case since we first saw him use his ability just prior to the Winter battle, so it’s a little frustrating that they still haven’t properly explained it, but I imagine we’ll either get a more detailed explanation soon or in an omake in the volume where this chapter is published

Anyway, it’s really nice to see Billy’s closest friend jump into to save him when he thought he could get away with fighting alone, it really helps make the transition in his thinking more believable. That, and the fact that Fuuko got the upper hand against him in their fight, which seems to have impressed him; even if he couldn’t see, the smile Billy and Fuuko exchanged before Tella stopped the fight was surprisingly heartwarming, as if he acknowledged and appreciated that Fuuko was in fact strong enough to stand by him and not need his protection

It’s especially appropriate when you realizes that Fuuko specifically is one of the Negators that he didn’t want on the front lines in the previous loop. He thought that she was too weak to use Unluck effectively, and only brought her with him to the Spring fight because he couldn’t get her to view him as an enemy and needed her to overcome Spring’s games of chance. He never thought she had this kind of ability in her, but now it’s been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she does. He says that this feels nostalgic for some reason, and I think that this line ties back to what Fuuko said about Sean’s soul deliberately being born early to meet her; I think that Billy’s soul remembers the previous loop, that somewhere deep inside him he knows that he’s finally been proven wrong

Of course, he has to put her to one final test, if for no better reason than for his own pride; a direct confrontation, a one-to-one duel in his area of expertise. If she can surpass him here, that will be the ultimate proof that she really is strong enough to be his equal, and after how he managed to fend off the rest of the Union by himself just a moment ago (very impressively, I might add), that would clearly be no mean feat. Most importantly, though, being one-on-one, using the same weapons (Billy even giving Fuuko the same kind of gun that he has), with no powers makes this fight the most important thing it could be: fair

How Billy got his understanding of fairness, how Unfair would come to manifest within him, we still don’t know. Until we learn that, his backstory is still incomplete, we’re learning everything about him completely backwards, but we know that he does value fairness above all else. He views himself, being one of the strongest Negators, as being the one most responsible with shouldering the burden of defeating God. He views himself, as a tactical genius and skilled soldier, as being the one most responsible for uniting the world as a common enemy (which I mistook for Creed’s motivation last week, so I’m glad my analysis didn’t completely go to waste). He always talked tough, saying that it was unfair that the Negators were saddled with powers and forced to bear that responsibility for the helpless masses, but we now know that those weren’t his true feelings: if anything, it was unfair that the Negators were forced to fight at all, but he never really blamed those who weren’t chosen, he only really blamed God for burdening anyone in the first place

It also occurs to me how meaningful it is for Billy, as the leader of Under, to carry Unfair, while Juiz, leader of the Union, carried Unjustice. Depending on the context, those words are almost synonymous, a cruel imbalance in the natural order that skews events one way or the other. The powers they gained were completely different, but both negate the balance and either require or force people to shift to either side of the scale; Unjustice forces the target to betray themselves while Unfair requires the user to betray their friends in order to stay true to themself. I can’t speak for how much of this Tozuka planned, but it lines up quite beautifully

Billy really has gone from being a seemingly bland, poorly implemented trope to one of the most fascinating and nuanced characters in the story. I enjoy him so much, and while he hasn’t become my favorite character or anything, I am massively endeared to him in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to predict almost two and a half years ago. I don’t know exactly how this fight is going to conclude, whether Fuuko will lose an ear but force a draw or if she’ll have an undisputed victory, but I know this duel is going to be good. Maybe this is where we’ll get the final piece of BIlly’s backstory, maybe we’ll watch him gain Unfair in a spectacular fashion, or maybe he’ll be a mystery just a little longer. Either way, Billy has shown himself to be not only one of the strongest in terms of ability, but character, and I’m so glad he became so much more than I ever gave him credit for in the beginning

#undead unluck #fouryearsandananime #i'm glad that these reviews have become me finding an excuse to talk about themes and character development rather than pure summaries #these are the kinds of analyses i really like to write and i don't feel like i'm being so bogged down in panel combing #but i worry that i'm managing to miss key details now #i guess before i was missing the forest for the trees but now i'm worried i'm not getting a close enough look at the trees y'know?#but hey no sense in worrying about something like that it'll only hurt my enjoyment in the end #4y1a reviews

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looooooooomis · 3 years

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F I N A L G I R L | T W O

You were his final girl. And there was no chance in hell that anyone or anything was going to mess that up.

p a r t t w o | h a l l o w e e n n i g h t

masterlist here

pairing: billy loomis x f!reader word count: 4.3k warnings: implied/referenced cheating, swearing (obv), drinking, implied smut, genuine S M U T, rough oral, thigh-riding, unprotected sex, all that fun stuff.

Billy couldn’t keep his eyes off you.

Not that he ever really could – and who could blame him, really – but tonight? Tonight, you were on a whole other level.

Stu’s house was packed to the brim with people, too fucking packed for Billy’s liking, but he’d make do. He might have wanted nothing more than to ditch the party, throw you over his shoulder, and have his way with you all night long but he couldn’t exactly do that. Not the first two, at least. But the second he could escape, he would, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t getting his hands on you tonight.

Maybe it was your little talk in the cornfield last night or maybe it was on account of that goddamn Halloween costume you were wearing but Billy was ready to have you all to himself. He needed to have you all to himself tonight.

It wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen you in your cheerleading uniform before, in fact, he’d seen you in it a thousand times prior to tonight but the way you wore it tonight made him harder than he could fathom. The skirt was hiked shorter than usual making you appear all the leggier in your white knee-high socks and tennis shoes and the though the top hadn’t changed all that drastically it, like the rest of you, was covered in fake blood. There were drops of crimson corn syrup, now long dried, dripping from those perfect lips of yours and continuing down your throat until bleeding into the material of your cropped cheerleading top. The sliver of skin showing your abdomen had a single bloodied handprint on it as well and your thighs, those gorgeous fucking thighs of yours, had a few more messy handprints that seemed to trail up your leg before disappearing beneath the hem of your skirt.

He was in agony watching you carry on laughing with Tatum from across the room. You had no right to look that fucking good tonight, not when Sidney was directly beside him idly talking to Randy about some stupid fucking test that he couldn’t bring himself to care about.

How could he focus on anything besides you tonight?

“Your girl’s looking hot tonight,” Stu chimed in quietly, smirking knowingly across the room towards where you and Tatum stood. “All that blood. All that leg.” He made a purring sound and grinned. “You going to be able to keep it in your pants until tonight?”

“Subtlety, dickmunch,” Billy growled. “Try it sometime.”

Throwing his hands up in mock surrender, Stu giggled and sprung across the room towards where you and Tatum were. Without missing a beat, Billy watched Stu throw Tatum over his shoulder, much to her chagrin, before running back to Billy, Sid, and Randy. Shooting Billy a wink, Stu mouthed a quick ‘you’re welcome’ before carefully plopping Tatum onto her feet. Sure enough, there you were, following the happy couple with a smile on your face as you joined them.

“Whole party just saw your girlfriend’s ass, numb nuts,” you laughed, playfully smacking Tatum’s ass. “Cute panties though, girl, take me next time. I’ll pick myself up a pair.”

Tatum grinned and cozied herself into Stu’s side. “Deal,” she chuckled, battling with the fake vampire teeth in her mouth. With a groan, she took them out and chucked them into the trash bin a few feet away. “Remind me again why I thought that would be a good idea.”

“So, you’re a vampire,” Randy mused, eyeing her all-black attire. “That checks out. You’ve got the personality down pat.”

Stu furled his brows as his girlfriend smacked Randy’s chest. “We’re both vampires, idiot, isn’t it obvious? I’m wearing a fucking cape.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Randy rolled his eyes and glanced around the circle of friends surrounding him. “The rest of you I got right off the bat. Sid’s a witch, Billy’s a moody looking skeleton boy and Y/N is a dead cheerleader.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” you clicked your tongue and pointed your beer bottle towards him in mock-outrage. “I’m not a dead cheerleader, Randy, I’m a demonic cheerleader. There’s a difference.”

“Oh, so you’re just a regular cheerleader, then.” Randy teased. When all he got was another smack to the chest, he surrendered. “Alright, alright. What’s the difference?”

“Well, for one,” you shrugged, “I’m not the victim. I’m the bad guy.”

“Bad guy, huh?” Billy piped in, watching you with that heavy stare of his. “What makes you so bad?”

“I eat boys,” you simply said, holding his purposeful gaze.

The corners of Billy’s lips raised in a small smirk at the innuendo but rather than let on, he simply ducked his head down and ran a hand through his hair. You were playing with fire tonight and it was obvious to him that you knew as much.

You’d definitely pay for that later on.

“Well, I think you look hot,” Sid smiled. “Blood and all.”

“Thanks, Sid,” you smacked on a smile and took a rather hasty gulp of beer. “You’re look like a babe tonight, too.”

“Thanks,” she flushed and looked down at her red dress. “It’s Tatum’s dress, I was scared it was going to be a little much on me.”

“Just enough,” you corrected with an honest smile. With your mouth suddenly dry and your guilt at an all-time high, you licked your lips and gave her a wink. “Billy’s a lucky guy.”

Leaning into Billy’s lean frame, Sid tilted her head up and placed a quick kiss to the side of his mouth. Averting your eyes immediately to the island between you and the doting couple, you tried not to let your discomfort show as you polished off the rest of your beer. That never got an easier to watch, no matter how much reassurance you got from Billy on the matter. At the end of the day, you were in love with Billy Loomis all the while being best friends with Sidney Prescott, his extraordinarily kind and sweet girlfriend. It was bound to be a tough pill to swallow.

From across the kitchen island, you caught Stu’s eye and for a brief moment, you saw a something eerily close to pity flicker across his face. Clearing your throat, you shook your empty bottle at the group and nodded towards the garage. “Anybody need a refill?”

“Yeah, sure,” Stu shrugged. “There’s a whole other keg in there actually. Be a dear and grab it?”

“A keg?” You snorted. “Who am I? The Hulk?”

Stu’s grin was cheeky as he nodded towards the garage. “Billy’ll help,” he simply said, squeezing Billy’s shoulder. “And hurry up, would you? Crowd’s getting thirsty.”

Rolling your eyes, you glanced at Billy briefly before nodding down the hall. “Come on, lover boy.” You teased, smiling apologetically at Sid who appeared none the wiser. “Be back in a sec.”

The hall leading down to the garage was crowded and full of your classmates dressed to the nines for Halloween. A few of the girls you were friends with smiled at you as you walked by, as did some of the guys, but the only thing you could focus on was the weight of Billy’s stare on your ass as you walked ahead of him. Sure, you mighthave been swinging your hips a little more than you should have been, but who could blame you? You were buzzed and Billy looked stupidly good tonight in his leather jacket and skeleton make-up. Even if said skeleton makeup was mostly gone from the amount of times he’d unwittingly rubbed at his face over the course of the night.

Pushing the door to the garage open, you held it open for Billy and shot him a brief smile as he walked into the chilly garage before closing the heavy door behind him. Walking down the steps towards the giant keg, you glanced over your shoulder and nearly laughed at the smouldering look he was giving you atop those steps. Turning around to face him fully, you gestured to the doorknob. “That thing have a lock on it?”

“Why?” He asked, leering. Slowly, he descended the steps towards you. Every step he took was agonizingly slower than the last but, being just as stubborn as he was, you remained firmly rooted in place with your own small smile in tow. “What would you have me do to you that would require a lock?”

“Who says you’d be doing anything?” You asked. “I’m the one who eats boys, remember?”

With a growl, he snaked his arms around your hips and pulled you into him. You could feel his budding erection through his jeans as he leaned down and nipped the base of your neck. The moan that escaped your lips on account of feeling his teeth dragging along your pulse point filled the empty garage and made Billy smile into the sensitive flesh. “Look at you in this fucking outfit. You’re a fucking tease, you know that?”

“Who’s teasing?” You asked. Reaching down, you gently squeezed him through his jeans and smirked when he swore under his breath. “I have every intention of following through.”

He kissed you hard and raked his fingernails up your bare thigh. The fake blood adorning your body might have been bone dry at this point in the night, but as he slid his hand beneath your skirt and rubbed his finger along the lace of your thong, a throaty laugh escaped his lips. You were so fucking wet. “Someone could come in here any second,” he whispered, pushing his finger beneath the material of your thong. The hiss that tore out of your throat sent him into a frenzy as he pinched your clit. “That get you wet, sweetheart? Knowing someone could walk in on us while I fuck you silly?”

“Billy,” you groaned, instinctually spreading your legs a little more to allow him full access to your slicked folds. “Lock the fucking door.”

“No,” he sucked at your bottom lip. “I want the whole fucking house to see us.”

Despite every rational part of your brain pleading with you to pull away from the infuriating man, you couldn’t. Not with how good he tasted on your lips and certainly not with his methodical fingers rubbing and pinching at your clit.

But two could play at that game.

Uncurling your fingernails from his shoulders, you got to work on his belt. Within seconds, it was gaping open as you fiddled with the button of his jeans and zipper before tugging them just far enough down his thigh for his cock to spring free. Biting down on his lip, you gave him a firm tug. “Lock. The. Fucking. Door. Loomis.”

You heard him laugh under his breath as he backed you into the keg. Once the back of your knees hit the coolness of the metal, you lost your footing and fell back against the piping along the top. The tap managed to hit you right on the tailbone, causing fireworks to explode behind your eyes, but with Billy’s deft hands still working your clit into a frenzy, you couldn’t bring yourself to care all that much. Stepping between your thighs, Billy’s hard cock danced across your wet folds as he tugged your underwear to the side. Your entire body was prepared to feel that familiar rush pure ecstasy that always followed that first, messy thrust. You were desperate for it in that moment, you craved it. But just as the tip teased its way down from your clit to your entrance, the garage door creaked open to reveal Stu’s handsome but mischievous face.

“Knew it,” he pretended to giggle as he quickly slid into the garage, being sure to shut it after to ensure nobody else saw the two of you. “Part of me thought ‘no way, they wouldn’t do it in my garage’ but the rest of me knew better. And, here you are.”

Swearing under his breath, Billy stepped away from you and ensured you were covered up entirely as he re-did his pants and belt. “You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

Between being caught up in the heated moment and feeling both shame and guilt for being caught, your cheeks must have been the colour of the devil himself as you ambled back onto your feet.

“Cock-block, asshole, the guy who just saved you from your girlfriend walking in on the two of you,” he casually waved it off, “I go by many names.”

“Shit,” you groaned, “how long were we gone for?”

“Not long,” Stu shrugged. “She just thought you two might need help seeing as how you were taking a few minutes.” He grinned. “Seems like you two kids had it all figured out, though.”

“Fuck-off for a second, would you?” Billy sighed and ensured Stu had turned around before looking back at you. Not wasting another second, he gently cradled your face and brushed something off of the tip of your nose. “White face paint,” he explained. Once he was sure it was gone, he leaned in and placed a sweet, chaste kiss to your lips. “Sorry about this.”

“Should have locked the door, Loomis,” you reminded him with a wink. Fixing your skirt, you walked back towards the steps and nodded towards the keg. “I’ll let you two carry that behemoth into the kitchen.”

Sliding past Stu, you opened the garage door and re-entered the crowded hallway. No one looked suspicious of you as you crept out and even when you re-joined Tatum and Sid – Randy having since left to tail some blonde chick in his algebra class – you simply smacked on a grin and asked them what you’d missed.

“Where’s Thing One and Thing Two?” Tatum asked, glancing over your shoulder.

“The keg’s a beast,” you simply said, “Stu showed up to help so I figured I’d leave it to them. Machismo bull-shit and all that.”

You hated how easy it was to lie to them. The guilt was still there, the guilt was always there, but over time the lying had become almost second nature to you. You could have a girl’s night with Sid, watch shitty movies all night long, and then proceed to fuck her boyfriend at two in the morning as she was sound asleep back home. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair.

And yet as Billy and Stu moseyed into the kitchen with the keg in tow, the look Billy gave you was enough to silence the swell of guilt boiling to the surface of your gut. It wasn’t a smoulderingly sexy look, not even an irritated look from having been cock-blocked by his best friend. No, this look was something different. Something softer, gentler, than the Billy everybody else knew so well. This look was one he’d reserved just for you. It was same look you got when he was half-asleep at three in the morning, groggily smiling across at you as though you’d hung the moon. The same one that seemed to take you in and memorize you as though half-expecting you to disappear before his very eyes. It was a look of pure wonderment, pure sincerity.

“You girls want to play beer pong?” One of the guys from the hockey team asked as you, Tatum and Sid watched the pair struggle.

“Yes,” the answer was out of your mouth before you had time to register the request. Dragging Tatum and Sid towards the dining room table, you shot one final glance at Billy before focusing ahead.

You were going to slip-up if he kept looking at you like that.

»»-------------¤-------------««

You’d barely managed to scrape all of the fake blood off of your face when you heard the familiar thud of your bedroom window. You were still dressed in your bloodied cheer uniform and the bloodied handprints smearing up your thighs and along your abdomen were still ever-present as you popped your head out of your washroom only to find Billy casually sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Couldn’t have waited until after I showered?” You asked with a small frown. “I look like Carrie from the neck down.”

Smirking, he pushed himself off of your bed and sauntered over towards you. He had since cleaned the skeleton make-up off of his face and the leather jacket had long been shed, but he still looked handsome as ever grinning across at you.

“I was hoping I’d catch you before you changed,” he admitted.

You raised your eyebrow and leaned against the doorway. “And why’s that?”

He said nothing at first, simply just reached forward to scrape his thumbs against your nipples which were pressing firmly against the thin material of your top. “Just because it’s after midnight doesn’t mean Halloween has to be over,” he slid his hands beneath the hem of your shirt and tugged it over your head. In nothing more than your skirt and knee-high socks, Billy’s calloused hands began to squeeze your bare breasts all the while never breaking eye contact. “Figured the demonic cheerleader might want to get one last kill in for the night.”

You hummed your approval as he pinched at your nipples. “And you’re volunteering yourself?”

Billy smirked and leaned down towards your chest to allow his mouth to consume your nipple. His expert tongue swirled along the sensitive nub a few times before devouring it entirely. Sucking and pinching and biting at your breasts, you barely noticed him steer you towards your bed until the soft material of your blankets were bawled into tensed fists.

“Billy,” you moaned, eyeing him through half-lidded eyes as he teased your nipples. “Fuck. Get up.”

Not listening to you whatsoever, he continued his assault on your tits before you finally gave his cock a firm squeeze from outside of his jeans. “Billy,” you repeated. When his cloudy stare caught yours, you cocked your head to the side and pat the mattress. “Get on the bed.”

With a smirk, Billy released your nipple before clambering onto the edge of the bed. Hitching your skirt up your thighs, you climbed over his lap and straddled him. His hungry eyes swallowed you up as you leaned into his face, your hair fell around you like a blanket, shielding you both away from everything around you as you very slowly tugged his head up to place a kiss to his nose.

His hands were on you immediately. They skimmed down your arms and waist and hips before giving your ass a long, firm squeeze. “You’re fucking perfect.”

You smirked and lowered yourself further down onto his lap so your clit was overtop his jean-clad thigh. “Shut-up,” you teased, slowly sliding back and forth atop his strong thigh. “Kiss me.”

With a quiet laugh, he craned his neck up to capture your lips as you continued to rock back and forth on his thigh. He wasted no time in hiking your skirt further up your body to allow him better access to your bare ass to which he hungrily massaged and grabbed. Moaning into his mouth, you felt his one of his hands wander from your ass and up your waist before giving your naked breast another firm squeeze. His mouth hungrily enveloped your breast as you gently flung your head back. Between the sensation of his tongue on your nipple and the feel of your clit scraping against his strong, muscular thigh, you were in heaven.

But fair was fair. If he wanted to be your ‘last kill of the night’? The very least you could do was play along.

Throwing your head back in ecstasy as he gently bit and sucked at your pert nipple, you reached down and unbuckled his belt. Your movements were frenzied as you worked on undoing his jeans next, and when you finally managed to undo his zipper, you unlatched your tit from his mouth and began to shimmy down his legs.

Billy watched you settle between his legs, barely taking notice of the damp streak on his thigh as you peeled his jeans down his hips. His cock sprang to life for the second time that night and as he watched your hungry eyes scrape over his painfully hard erection, he could have come right there.

Your lips were puffy from your little make-out session, your cheeks flushed. And as your chest heaved with each shallow breath you took, your already perky nipples only hardened. Scraping your fingernails up his thighs, you wasted no time in licking your way up from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling your tongue around his head as your hand gently massaged his balls. With hungry, half-lidded eyes, Billy watched that pretty mouth of yours take him. Slowly at first, but soon you fell into an easy rhythm as you sucked him off. He threw his head back as his fingers curled around your hair and tugged. Fuck, you were so good. And if he wasn’t careful, he’d blow his load in your mouth before you two could finish what you started in that damn garage.

Giving your hair another tug, you released his cock with a resounding pop and furled your brow. “Problem?” You asked stubbornly.

Without a word, he leaned forward and captured your lips in a bruising kiss as he carefully pulled you back onto the bed. Only rather than join you, he took his position between your thighs and tugged your thong clear off, exposing your extremely wet, throbbing pussy.

“Billy, let me fi—”

Before you could so much as think of your next few words, Billy buried his face between your thighs.

A guttural moan tore out of your lips as his dept tongue circled your clit, and as he inserted two fingers inside of you, you bucked into his mouth and grabbed a fistful of his hair. Billy’s tongue was euphoric, methodical. He lapped and sucked at your clit as his free hand reached up to play with your exposed breasts, rolling your nipple between his fingers roughly. “Billy,” you rasped out, squeezing your eyes shut as that familiar heat began to encroach its way up your body. Curling his fingers inside of you, you nearly screamed. Thank god your parents weren’t home. “Billy, fuck.”

You were going to come. Any second now. You felt that mind-numbing pleasure build up in your toes and up your legs and as he gave your clit another long, glorious suck, you let it overtake you. Your entire body shook as you bucked into his mouth. Stars flashed behind your eyes as a strangled moan tore from your throat.

Releasing your clit, Bily kissed and licked his way up your body before leaning forward to capture your lips again. You could taste yourself on his lips as you leaned forward and as your eyes caught sight of his erection, you opened your thighs on instinct. Pulling away from his mouth, you nudged your nose against his to catch his eye and reached down to stroke his unbearably hard cock. “Fuck me, Billy.”

He seemed to search your eyes for a moment as you pulled him back onto the bed. Once he was laying down, you wasted no time in climbing on top of him. Reaching down, you guided the length of him inside of your wet folds and slithered it along your clit before lowering yourself onto him. He hissed at the sensation and squeezed your ass, watching your breasts bounce with every bound you took. Leaning forward, he caught one in his mouth and bit down on your nipple, relishing in the moan he received on account of it. He must have bit harder than intended as within seconds, he could taste a metallic fluid rolling onto his tongue. Blood. Your blood. Looking back up at you, unsure of your reaction, his cock twitched inside of you when all you did was groan and tug at his hair.

You liked it.

Swirling his tongue around your nipple, Billy’s hands held your hips as you swiveled and bounced on top of him. He was going to come soon, he knew he was, but when he watched you reach down and begin to stroke your clit as he was buried inside of you, that was it. Leaning forward, he found your lips again as he came undone inside of you. “Fuck,” he rasped out, holding you firmly in place as his cock writhed inside of you.

Feeling his cock twitch, you waited on his last few pumps before breaking your kiss. “Happy Halloween, Loomis.”

A slow, lazy grin tore across his lips. The pair of you were stark naked in the middle of your bedroom, he was literally still inside of you, and yet there you were. Both grinning stupidly down at each other as your words sunk in. Slowly, you slid off of him and joined him on the bed your naked chest heaving up and down as he reached out to brush a strand of hair from your face.

“You going to kick me out of your bed so that you can shower?” He asked quietly.

“No,” you shrugged. “Not yet.”

Billy blinked, mild surprise showing on his face. But, before another word could be said, he leaned in and gently kissed your lips. Unlike the kisses you two had shared in the heat of the moment, this was soft and deliberate. And, as he pulled away, he placed another kiss to the tip of your nose before relaxing into the sheets. “Good,” he mumbled, pulling a thin blanket up your naked bodies.

You smiled and relaxed into the warmth in his chest. You absolutely should be slinking off to the bathroom to shower all the fake blood off of you, but that could wait another few minutes. For now, against Billy’s chest, basking in the pale moon glow shining in through your bedroom window, this was the only place you wanted to be.

LET ME KNOW IF YALL LIKED IT + IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE BILLY IMAGINES IN THIS SERIES BC YA GIRL IS WILLING

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roublardise · 3 years

Text

my "Crowley isn't attracted to women" take

for @spnprideweek - day 2 - mlm

cw: dicussion of homophobia & transphobia all in all I wanted to highlight how canon gay Crowley is bc I love him 💕 thank u spn for Crowley even tho he deserved better

in the last weeks I've realized there's a huuge consensus in the fandom for pansexual Crowley. if you're pan or not and wanna hc Crowley as pan, power to you! but what's bothering me is the non-discussion of it all. the way it seems obvious for everyone. whereas, to me, Crowley has been canonically gay all this time.....

disclaimer: I'm aware Mark Sheppard alledgely said he saw Crowley as pansexual, however I can't even take these words for canon without context. Especially not when a year later he'd say Crowley's sexuality didn't matter. The way Mark Sheppard talks about characters' sexuality is more a "why are people making a big deal let them be" than "the character doesn't care." Moreover, actors pov can't be taken as canon imo. Jensen Ackles thought Dean straight for so long when Dean's been bi all this time as well. Sometimes actors are biased by their own experiences & stereotypes!

disclaimer #2: on god I don't wanna start discourse lmao. I just wanna share my silly thoughts about a tv show & question the way Crowley's sexuality is written in this silly homophobic tv show. don't @ me about what's making you think Crowley is indisputably pansexual bc I assure you I already know your points

That being said, here's why I think Crowley is a bear, a gay man, a trans gay man actually, a homosexual, who isn't attracted to women & some food for thoughts about why the unquestioned consensus towards pan Crowley could have roots in both homophobia & panphobia.

I don't think we can think of Crowley as your usual demon. We know too much about Crowley's life as a human, and the numerous ways in which he acts un-demony, almost humanly after. Considering him simply like a demon with no concept of gender preference who would be pan “by default” wouldn’t be right with his character. But we also can't question his sexuality in the exact same way we would a human's.

It also can't be thought in the same way as angels': as once-humans demons do have a concept of gender. Crowley especially cares a lot about his gender presentation and the way he's addressed. Not only does he literally sell his soul for a bigger d*ck as a human ; as a demon he uses the same vessel where other demons are shown to move once they had to leave one ; and for the few hours Crowley's possessing a woman, he clearly states he should still be referred to as king.

This will all be used for homophobic & transphobic jokes in the show, but I'll get back to that later on. Gender does matter to Crowley's identity, and I think it could be extended to his sexuality.

I've seen numerous descriptions of it all saying Crowley's sexuality was "ambiguous" and I guess it is, as he never explicitly used any label. However "ambiguous" doesn't mean bi or pan. It doesn't mean anything besides the fact we can't draw a clear-cut conclusion of his sexuality.

Imo we can actually draw a clear-cut conclusion of Crowley's sexuality but yeh, I'm getting there.

----------------

Let's take a look at canon events around Crowley & sexuality!

His character introduction is him enjoying making a homophobe man kiss him for a deal

It is rumoured that he was a demon's lover (Lilith's)

He heavily flirts with Bobby

He french kisses Bobby for a deal and takes a pic

He never kisses a woman on screen (tell me if I forgot anyone!)

He flirts with every single man he sees, and even more strongly when it's making the other uncomfortable

The other parent of Crowley's son is never mentioned nor even brought up

He has two orgies that we know of

He has sex with a demon who's possessing a woman (Lola) when he was addicted to human blood

He dates, has sex with, and asks Dean to rule Hell with him. He's in love with Dean

On late spn he drinks fruity drinks

He flirts with and implies he had sex with an angel (Naomi)

He flirts with Death (Billie)

He's into BDSM

I'm not gonna go into details with all the sexual stuff he says bc there's a lot.... But it's always about gay sex. (once again, if I'm forgetting smth pls tell me nicely)

Now, with all that I'd like to question specifically the elements people use to say Crowley is canonically attracted to women.

He has two orgies that we know of

There’s the one Crowley has while he’s himself possessing a woman ; iirc it’s a foursome with two other men and one woman. Crowley still counts as a King, as the show makes sure we know, admitedly this dialogue implies we should still think of him as a not-very-manly-man.

Honestly, if one is convinced Crowley is attracted to women based on this scene.. okay. Personally I don’t see it because the orgy is unplanned, it’s an opportunity Crowley takes. Is he even attracted to the two other men?? Who knows. We don’t even know if Crowley even touches the other woman, there’re so many ways to have group sex. Even if he did, having sex with one woman doesn’t make it impossible for him to be homosexual.

The second orgy is with Dean. Crowley describes it then: “We've done extraordinary things to triplets.” It’s interesting how before I went to check, I thought it was clear the triplets were women. But not at all! I’ve been tricked by heteronormativity myself. So this is up to interpretation. Even though the way the show doesn’t make sure we know the triplets were women is pretty telling (as I’ll talk about later).

It is rumoured that he was Lilith's lover

Well, this is a rumour. In this relationship Crowley would know Lilith as a demon possessing a woman, and Lilith would know Crowley as a demon possessing a man as well. Who's even to say they met in their vessels to sleep together. That's the kind of cases in which the ambiguity of Crowley human/demon situation makes it impossible to draw any kind of conclusion towards Crowley's attraction to women. Also if anything Lilith is clearly a lesbian lmao.

He has sex with Lola when he was addicted to human blood

Same thing here, the relationship is one of demon/demon. Though we do now they do meet in their vessels to sleep together. Besides that, the sex happens while Crowley is at a low point. She's the one bringing him human blood, which makes the sex more of a transaction than anything. It does fit a very grey area of consent which would be fair to question.

We can't know for sure whether the demon possessing the woman was a woman as well, but let's say she was: 1/ Crowley having sex once or twice with a woman doesn't prevent him from being homosexual. 2/ What is he seeing if not a demon's true form? 3/ Wasn't he in a self-destructive mental state?

It's a stretch, imo, to assume Crowley was attracted to her.

He flirts with and had sex with Naomi / flirts with Billie

This one is so ridiculous to me bc Naomi is an angel and as a demon, Crowley sees her true form. We don't even know who was her vessel when they had sex.

The flirt thing is interesting however, bc iirc Naomi and Billie are the only "women" we see Crowley actually flirt with. During the orgies or the demon sex there's no flirt involved. It's interesting bc, as Cas would say: "Naomi's vessel is a woman. Naomi is an angel."

Same case for Billie who's a reaper then Death. Spn is pretty unclear about how the whole thing works but we know reapers are kind of angels. In any case, I won't go as far as saying Billie has any connection to gender.

Moreover, the way Crowley flirts with them is pretty light next to everything else Crowley says to men. It's pretty personal, I'm aware, but I do relate a lot with the way Crowley flirts with them VS how I flirt with men just because (and I'm a lesbian).

Anyway! Both Naomi and Billie are supernatural creatures, which brings the count of women Crowley flirts with to... zero.

-> What I take from all that is that Crowley is attracted to men for sure ; to angels and demons ; and doesn't care about the genitalia involved in the sex he has. We have nothing about the kind of relationships he had as a human. His gender presentation matters a lot to him. The only long-term commitment he has is with Dean. I wouldn't even say he had a committed relationship with Gavin's other parent bc we don't know anything about them.

----------------

But what's my deal with homosexual Crowley? One can wonder, if Crowley doesn't care about bodies, doesn't that mean he can still be written as pan?

No! First because sexual attraction isn't about genitalia (even if transphobes would argue the contrary but they're transphobic so...). And second, well....

I would refer to this point as "how do I know Crowley isn't attracted to women? bc Dean is"

I'm convinced that if the show wanted to write Crowley as anything other than a gay man, it would have been way more obvious.

This is a show who wrote Dean catcalling a faceless woman on the street, for no other reason than to remind the viewers Dean was attracted to women & to balance it with the following homoerotic scene.

One could say spn doesn't have lots of women characters to begin with, but that's my point exactly: when spn wants to show attraction towards women, they do find women for people to be attracted to. Hell, they even give Gavin some girlfriend but never ever bring up the topic of Gavin's other parent. Even though an entire episode is dedicated to learning about Crowley's past.

What's important to understand Crowley's sexuality isn't the people he slept with ; it's the people he doesn't show interest in.

The absence of something is the presence of the thing, blablabla. It's a way to look at homosexuality that heteronormativity makes hard to see because, unconciously, we don't tend to question attraction towards the expected gender. One would ask for a 10 pages essay on why a character is gay, but one would need only a 2 sec kiss to assure a character's heterosexuality or attraction towards the expected gender.

----------------

In Crowley's case, his attraction to men is a huge part of his character right from the beginning (thanks god, at least no one's questioning that). Spn as a show that hears what the fans are saying and twists writing accordingly, is perfectly aware of that. Yet rather than pushing women at him along the course of the show to remind everyone how Not Gay Crowley is - the opposite happens.

Yeh, Lola, Naomi, Billie, they all happen in the later seasons. But even then, the show somehow can't write Crowley as attracted to a human woman.

What happens then is: not only does Crowley fall for Dean ; he engages in some BDSM play with Lucifer : and he switches from drinking only the finest Scotch to fruity cocktails.

The BDSM thing as well as the drink thing are choices rooted in stereotypes, that's how spn is! But it does canonize Crowley's homosexuality. They're depriving him of his "masculinity" as the show goes on, because they purposely write him as homosexual. I don't think spn would have ever written a bi or pan character that way.

We learned a few days ago that Crowley died in a gutter. He died in a gutter for a bigger d*ck. I'm just gonna refer to Oscar Wilde & Mika on this : "some of us in the gutter are looking up at the stars."

The "referred to as king" scene isn't about Crowley being a demon and so not caring about gender - it's the opposite. Other demons are the ones poiting out Crowley's vessel. This is a transphobic joke. It's the demon edition of the "gay boy in a dress" transmisogynistic trope.

Viewers aren't supposed to be on Crowley's side ; we're supposed to be giggling with the other demons while Crowley is being emasculated. Crowley gets a woman vessel because he's a not-very-manly-man, because he's a trans man, because he's homosexual.

And I know that bc Dean is written as bi, and all they're doing is reaffirming the way he does like women while being extra subtle with his love for men.

Meanwhile Crowley is losing influence and power, loses his authority as he loses his throne in Hell, gets humiliated by Lucifer, until all his character revolves around is his love for Dean. The way Crowley is then protrayed as some lovesick ex who can't move on is, imo, a straight man fantasy. Crowley's love is both used as predatory and as a tool to validate Dean's Peak Masculinity.

Spn has been burying their gays all along, and Crowley was right there being punished for not only being in love with Dean but for not being attracted to women. For never being able to be a "normal" guy. For never being able to be seen as a "normal" guy. For checking every homophobic stereotypes in the books. Crowley as a human dies because he's a trans man. Crowley as a demon dies because he's homosexual.

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That's what leads me to be uncomfortable with the way the fandom seems to have a consensus towards pansexual Crowley. (Once again: idc about people's personal hc of Crowley as pan, I just want to think critically about the way no one thinks twice about it & accepts it as canon so easily. Hell, just bc I dared to ask what started the pan Crowley confirmation I got accused of erasing his pansexuality. All I did was ask a question.)

To me, it feels like erasing everything his character went through because he was gay. And it seems to be taken from a reasoning which is going to assume Crowley is attracted to women.

I mean: the reasoning would go "oh, Crowley clearly has a non-straight sexuality -> he's attracted to men -> he's pan" His attraction to women being accepted by default, without needing any backup. And when I look at the canon I see nothing implying he'd be attracted to women. Taking Crowley's attraction to women for granted is following an heteronormative thinking.

Being into people isn't all about who one sleeps with. It's about love. And when we look at what spn shows about Crowley's close relationships, the only meaningful one he got is with Dean. When Rowena wants payback for Crowley making her kill Oskar, she goes for his son.

And it's SO interesting to me because if angels can't be in love because they don't have a soul - can demons? as they're beings with a destroyed soul? And if so, how powerful of Crowley to still fall in love with Dean Winchester.... the power of gay love :) (Crowley 🤝 Cas)

----------------

To conclude all this with some more stuff to think about if, like me, you love questioning everything:

While it's not wrong per se to hc Crowley as pan, it can be worth questioning what's making us so sure we collectively just vibe with it? To me there's a few things: - As I was saying: heteronormative bias - Crowley being a non-fully-human character - Crowley being masculine (despite the show's attempts to erase that) - Crowley being into BDSM - Crowley flirting and making sexual remarks in every context

These, unconsciously, gives a vibe of a character who's "outside" of the gender norm, not making big deal of their sexuality, not even questioning it. This creates this idea of "ambiguity" around Crowley's sexuality. The way Crowley particularly seems to be really chill about sex, is a demon (so what does he know about gender?), and heavily flirty, ... is what most people will link to pansexuality. That doesn't mean thinking of Crowley as pan is being problematic™ ; this means in western medias that's what fills the "pansexual character" imagery (like basically: the Jack Harkness type).

However, when we look at it like that, none of these elements are defining of pansexuality. None of them are excluding him from homosexuality. If not stereotypes.

That's where it gets personal ; but it does make me feel like the huge consensus towards a pansexual Crowley (when there is no clear-cut evidence of it) is erasing the complexity of homosexual experiences. As I said at the begining: I'm happy if pansexual people can relate to Crowley ; everone's free to headcanon. But saying Crowley is canonically pansexual is a stretch - and a take rooted in homophobic stereotypes.

Imo Crowley may have been created with all these traits pushing towards a pan reading of his character. However, as the show went, he was clearly written as a homosexual man. The changes in his portrayal took a turn to be specifically homophobic. He gets imagery that only strictly homosexual characters got (such as drinking fruity cocktails like Aaron. Meanwhile Dean, on the same scene, is allowed beer & whiskey.)

We're used to taking spn's homophobic rep and jokes to make it our own. Yet it seems, when it comes to Crowley, the fandom doesn't see it.

Sometimes people aren't attracted to the gender heteronormativity expects them to be attracted to.......... sometimes people are gay and it's not an umbrella term.

#crowley spn #spn crowley #crowley #trans crowley #spn meta #supernatural #spn #so..... i went off once again #homophobia #transphobia #i just kept adding stuff to it lmao and i would STILL have stuff to say but this is enough #long post #spnprideweek

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omegatheunknown · 3 years

Text

AEW Double or Nothing 2021

In which the spirit of WCW is alive in confusing and delightful ways and we are left to parse whether overbooking and extracurriculars are offset by having actually very good wrestling happening at the same time.

- Lessons learned from Revolution on the production side? Maybe just cool it on pyro, though the rappelling adventure in the Stadium Stampede showed some of that now-characteristic 'trust us it'll look better on TV' flair. Hot crowd tends to paper over most woes, and the crowd was pretty hot. My one gripe is that the casino theme is hanging around like yesterday's takeout containers. Nothing wrong with clinging to a theme, I just think it's time for season 2. My suggestion? Under the Sea.

*Pre-Card Serena Deeb (C) v Riho for the NWA Women's Championship (***1/2) - Serena Deeb's star has finally risen. She's a remarkably consistent technician and she can get a match out of anyone at this point. She's working at the level of Mercedes Martinez or Madison Eagles at this point, it's amazing that she was overlooked or considered fit only to be a coach for so long. With the NWA belt she has this new swagger, she's basically everything Tessa Blanchard might bring to the table with none of the downsides (Serena has a lot of friends and seems like a lovely person, even!) - Riho's back and here to stay. Her time in Stardom didn't do much for my evaluation of her, which is that there are many better wrestlers that would be better representatives of the joshi style and she's merely pretty good. - The match was very good. Serena showcased a champion's aggression against a sympathetic Riho, they really work well against each other, Deeb's technical prowess against Riho's flexibility led to a very dynamic finish.

*Main Card Hangman Adam Page v Brian Cage (***1/2) - Here the shenanigans start. Brian Cage is on Team Taz, Team Taz has nothing else much to do tonight, so why wouldn't Team Taz flex their muscles, bait us with HOOK, etc? (Because it would be nice to have some variety in the card in terms of a match where one competitor stands across from another competitor?) - Hangman is (checking notes) yeah, still over as fuck, as befits the Anxious Millennial Cowboy. Cage terrifies me, he's a child's drawing of a body builder. He do be very agile for a man of his immense musculature tho. They match up well, Page is biggish for a flyer, Cage loves to play catch. Nothing much to write home about, other than Hangman's beautiful moonsault to the floor and what was overall a very good curtain jerker. - Okay fine, I am curious about Cage's reluctance to lean on the goons, Starks can't come back soon enough.

The Young Bucks v Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston (***) - I will not be referring to Mox & Eddie as (The) Wild Things because it gives me 'he calls it the wacky line' flashbacks for some reason. - The Bucks have to cheat and abuse Rick Knox's attention span constantly to be on even footing with Mox & Eddie, which is a clever sort of thing that gets washed out by the appearance of LG and Karl Anderson, which again, is cool in a vacuum but was the story of the evening. - Pace was weird - repetitive in eliminating Eddie, then Mox fights back, failed hope spot, Bucks team up, Eddie saves x2/3 in a row. - Mox, unlike Cody (in so many ways,) will probably actually be taking some time off with Renee, which is the kind of thing I would prefer not to know in terms of booking, but they really uh, put him down on the canvas here, and it felt pretty finale-esque.

Casino Battle Royale (n/r, but on the balance pro) - Any changes to the theme of the PPV would likely include changing up the nonsense suit format of these largely joyless slogs. - Obviously anticipating a NJPW talent, or... I dunno, actually -- Lio Rush was a surprise. Got in a quick demonstration of his otherworldly quickness, and you know what, there's probably a fun place for him in AEW. He'll need some friends, of course, feel like Team Taz might fit his temperament. I wonder if he was aware of the Mark Henry news... - Christian does not need to win this kind of match to get a title shot, obviously, but that said it was super lovely to use him to give Jungle Boy the shine. Jungle Boy would be a license to print money if he was even as big as Hangman. - Could register some continued griping about how Penta is not getting his due in AEW but he also literally was dressed as the Joker so I'm low on sympathy on this one particular night.

Anthony Ogogo v Cody Rhodes (*) - I did not like this. It's hard for me to read jingoism as a face move to begin with, and Cody's was egregiously tone deaf and kinda silly yet delivered without a trace of irony because Cody doesn't do irony on purpose, ridiculous neck tattoo aside. - Great argument to be made that Ogogo just isn't experienced enough to be winning matches against Cody. But like, what are we doing here? Cody needs to take some time off, maybe. I thought that's what was happening when he had his mini feud with Penta that really just ended in quick decisive Cody win. I though maybe Cody was being turned when QT and The Factory snapped-- sure, they're a group of impotent player 2s, but Cody is an out of touch elitist with a callous and manipulative streak. Alas, also no. America #1. - Cody is approximately 8 times as tough as Billy Gunn based on his weathering of the one punch man. Match ran a bit long given how little there was to go on. Cody gigged? Quelle surprise. - Cody had the best match on the card like, 3 out of the first 4 AEW events or something, and that was all booking and storytelling. I do hope Cody follows Moxley's lead into a little sabbatical.

Miro (C) v Lance Archer for the TNT Championship (**1/2) - Card's hossiest hoss match, a quick burst reminiscent of a car wreck. Absolutely hit on what it should've hit on but a little slow moving considering it went all of 10 minutes. - I will not complain about Jake the Snake, who I love. And also the gimmick spot, with Miro very astutely yeeting what was definitely a snake in a bag (surely.) back down the tunnel.

Dr Britt Baker, DMD v Hikaru Shida (C) for the AEW Women's Championship (***) - Picked up a lot of steam toward the end but seemed a little toothless (heh) until the last five. - Shida 'deserved' some more time as champion in front of crowds but also it's time to let heel Britt reach her peak, I can't even imagine how obnoxious she can be as the champ, it's going to be great.

Sting & Darby Allin v Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky (***1/2) - Such is the power of STING that I feel like I might be underrating this match... I mean it was an okay match about very simply getting some revenge and the sixty year old man did a very subdued Code Red and a slightly less subdued dive. He's also Sting. They missed an opportunity in calling it the 'Scorpio' Death Drop, but the main takeaway here is you see something like this where it's The Icon and you start to understand why WWE trots out their legends to come out of incredibly still kick ass without bending their knees. - The difference, I guess, is that Sting is absolutely being used to build up Darby Allin, whereas it's not like the fed brought back Goldberg and his attendant aura to pump up... anyone but Goldberg?

Kenny Omega (C) v PAC v Orange Cassidy for the AEW World Championship (****) - Off the top I have to say I'm very sad that the rest of the Galaxy's Greatest Friends were seen only very briefly, nice of them to bring OC's backpack. - Also have to point out that PAC's promo featured one of my favourite jokes, that Kenny must be short for Kenneth as a sort of legal/birth name belonging to a professional wrestler. (See also: Samoa Joseph) - And Mr Cassidy certainly did try in this match, ragdoll sells and all. Kenneth and PAC are absurd talents who bring aerial, power and technical maneuvers in equal measure and OC is not doing any of those on the same level, but he picked his spots, showed his genre savvy and hung in there to the point that he wasn't just the fall guy. - The extracurriculars continue in a match that was already a little overboard for silliness due to asymmetry... I think if you're the Invisible Hand it would've made sense to save up all your tricks for this match, but who am I to question the golden goose? - Sure, Kenny and Don ran the classic heel manager interference spot and taking out the ref in desperation spot but having to take out the ref because PAC wouldn't break the hold is fun, as is the stupid/inspired sense in running the 'smash opponent with the belt' spot four times so as none of your heavy gold prizes feel left out. (I love that AAA Mega Championship, they weren't on TV so we get to see it?) - "Fuck You, Don," indeed.

The Inner Circle v The Pinnacle in 'Stadium Stampede II' (***1/2) - This one had to grow on me for two reasons, first that it's usually pretty unforgivable to co-opt the main event spot from the championship match, and second to law of diminishing returns on dumb gimmick matches. - But grow it did. There's a full on meat locker? Commentary will refer to a cardboard cut-out of Shahid Khan as Tony Khan's father (that's canon now,) and Jericho will lovingly pat it? Konnan happened to be the DJ at whatever night club there is a Jaguar Stadium? Spears surrounds himself dramatically with chairs and his hoisted by his own petard? - Ultimately it comes down to letting Sammy shine. His involvement with the Inner Circle has sometimes come at the cost of being able to showcase that prior to AEW he was an ascendant talent in PWG, on his way to Ricochet level feats of acrobatic excess. Still feel like Sammy could've/should've been the one tossed off the cage a few weeks ago, but even better is being the guy getting the pin in the ring.

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got-to-love-a-badboy · 4 years

Text

The Interview

Pairing - Dacre Montgomery x Reader

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

You are part of the cast of stranger things season 3, your character is Anna Harrington, twin sister of Steve Harrington/Billy's love interest.

You, Joe Keery and Dacre Montgomery we're being interviewed just after season 3 aired.

The three of you were sitting on chairs in a room waiting for the interviewer to come in, you were making so much noise because you were messing around and being silly, Joe was doing impressions of Dacre.

Joe - I'm Dacre ... Montgomery I'm from Australia.

Y/N - Oh god that is so much like you.

you burst out laughing

Dacre - It sounds nothing like me!

He laughed

Dacre - I'm glad you find it funny though, ok let's do y/n, Dacre! Dacre can you grab me a Fanta, I couldn't possibly move!

He said in a high pitched voice.

Joe - You do have him running errands for you y/n, good impression man

Joe laughed as he patted Dacre on the back

The interviewer walked in as Joe and Dacre were laughing.

Interviewer - Hey guys nice to meet you, I see you are enjoying your time here.

He said motioning towards the three of you laughing

Dacre - Yeah man it's good.

Y/N - Be even better if I was alone, I'm been victimised ... again, picking on a small defenceless woman, the pair of you should be ashamed!

You covered your face and pretended to cry

Joe - God you are so dramatic!"

Joe laughed over at you, earning a middle finger from you

Dacre - Oh poor baby

Dacre pulled you over to him and placed a kiss on the top of your head as Joe and the interviewer raised their eyebrows at each other. After a moment you sat back up and smiled at Dacre, but gave Joe an evil stare.

Y/N - See, Dacre knows how to be nice! Thank you Dacre.

Dacre - Anytime

he winked at you.

Interviewer - Ok!, let's get this interview under way. I have some questions here sent it by fans, So Dacre, what can you tell me about Billy in this series I've heard he has a huge character change.

Dacre - yeah, he becomes victim to the mindflayer, it takes control of him and makes him do horrible things, he isn't the nicest person to start with so I don't feel he is much different in that sense but he is definitely not himself.

Interviewer - wow another victim in Hawkins, I bet that has a huge effect on the relationships in his life, with his father and Max and then with yourself Y/N, and your character Anna.

Dacre nodded his head towards you to take this one.

Y/N - yeah I mean Anna and Billy have an up and down relationship anyway because of how Billy is, but this will definitely be the test for them, I feel Anna is a kind and caring person, so she will naturally be there for Billy no matter what, but with his own demons and then the Mindflayer taking over him, we will have to see if he lets her in.

Dacre smiled at you, fascinated by how you answered the question.

Dacre - yeah I agree with what Y/N was saying he is a tough guy and can't deal with most things so, he probably won't let anyone in, especially his dad and Max but Anna may have more chance.

Interviewer - Joe your character, Steve, hated Billy dating his sister last season does that change this season?.

Joe - um maybe, but Steve hates Billy and Billy hates Steve, I think that is something that will never change, but how is with his sister is a different story.

Interviewer - it must be hard changing from hating someone on set to how you are now, because you guys seem so close, I mean, I heard you before I came in here, the room was filled with laughter.

Joe - we have amazing relationships with the whole cast but it's very rare you see one of us three alone.

All three of you laughed.

Y/N - yeah we are like one big family, I couldn't imagine been with out these guys, they are total nerds but they're my nerds.

Dacre - you know you love us Y/N!

Joe looks at you and raised his eyebrows, you narrowed yours at him as though to say 'do not do it!' But he did!

Joe - yeah some more than others.

You rolled your eyes at him and Dacre just looked straight forward at the interviewer.

Interviewer - what is life like off set for you guys?

Dacre - it's nice because we spend so much time at each others places, like Joe said you rarely see one of us alone, it's usually me and Y/N because everyone else has some family visiting, but with us been from Australia and the UK ours can't be here.

Y/N - yeah like lastnight Joes sister came over so you went out with her didn't you Joe.

He nodded in response

Y/N - so me and Dacre had a movie night at his place, it was nice.

Interviewer ok I'm going to ask this guys so please don't be offended, they are from fans, Dacre and Y/N, fans have seen you spending so much time together but as you say neither of you have family around often, is that the only reason?.

Neither of you answered straight away, you looked at Dacre with big eyes, he decided to speak up assuming you didn't want to.

Dacre - I mean we are like best friends would people find it weird you spending time with your best friend? I think it's because Y/N is the opposite sex, but that doesn't have to mean you are sleeping together.

He looked over at you wanting approval he said the right thing, you smiled at him and nodded.

You had always loved Dacre, the minute he walked on set you couldn't believe how handsome he was and when you got to know him and how kind he was you fell in love with him, you never told him because you didn't want to ruin the amazing friendship you two had, plus you always thought he could do better than you.

When the interviewer was about to ask another question when your assistant waved to Dacre informing him he had a call.

Dacre - sorry I have to take this

He got up from his seat touching your leg on the way past.

Joe looked at you waiting for you to speak.

Y/N - what?

Joe - lets address the elephant in the room shall we? because I'm going to explode.

Y/N - I don't know what you mean

Joe - in the words of Nancy Wheeler, thats bullshit Y/N, when are you and Dacre going to just admit your feelings?

Y/N - JOE!

Joe -oh come on Y/N, Dacre has told me how he feels about you but because you haven't said anything he doesn't want to make the move and ruin your friendship, all you need to do is say how you feel!

Y/N - damn it Joe! Yes I love him ok! But I don't know how to tell him.

Joe - just say what is in your head, don't even think about it, here practice on me, tell me what you like about Dacre.

You covered your face and laughed.

Y/N - god this is embarrassing but ok here goes.

Out of the corner of his eye Joe saw Dacre walking back into the room, luckily so did your assistant, she put her arm out stopping Dacre from entering and pointed over to the 3 of you then put her finger on her lip, telling Dacre to be quiet.

Y/N - I would love to tell Dacre that I love how caring he is, how he will do anything for me without even been asked, I love that I don't need to tell him I have had a bad day, he just knows, and then shows up at my place with my favourite snacks and a movie for us to watch.

My favourite time with him was last summer when he invited me to Australia and I spent a whole 5 weeks with him and his family, he planned everything, he took me places he though I would like, not him, he does all of this without asking for anything in return.

And then there is him as a person, god his ambition and determination is mind blowing, Dacre the most talented person I have ever met, I didn't know this until after, but last month he missed an audition because he was helping me prepare for my own!, who does that!....Joe, I'm so in love with him it scares me.

Before he could answer you Dacre walked back on set and sat right next to you, you turned to face him and he just smiled at you.

Y/N - you didn't!

Dacre - I did, Y/N you want to know why I do all that?

You simply nodded at him.

Dacre - because I'm in love with you Y/N, the minute I saw you I knew you were going to be a huge part of my life and you are. You are the first thing I think about on a morning and the last thing on a night, the amount of messages I get from my family daily asking if I have asked you on a date yet is a joke, so Y/N can I take you on a date tonight?

Y/N - 100% yes

Dacre smiled the biggest smile you have ever seen on his face, his hand found your face and he caressed your cheek, you leaned closer to him and whispered

Y/N - kiss me idiot

Dacre - yes ma'am

Before you knew it his lips were on yours, the kiss soon became much more romantic than it started.

The whole room erupted into clapping and cheering, when Dacre pulled away you stared into each others eyes before been interrupted by the interviewer.

Interviewer - possibly the best interview of all time!

Joe - oh my god I need to message Nat!

Joe pulled out his phone and you all started laughing, you smiled as Dacre grabbed your hand.

——————————————

#dacre montgomery #dacrekaydmontgomery #dacre #stranger things #dacre x reader #Dacre montgomery x Reader #dacre fanfic #fanfiction

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boundinshallows · 4 years

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Peaky Rare Pair Bingo Mid-Fest Round-Up

We started the Peaky Blinders Rare Pair Bingo Challenge back in July and still have a few weeks left. However, I thought it would be a great time to do a mid-fest round-up to catch folks up on what’s been written so far.

Rare Pairs are tricky things. They’re rare because they don’t get a lot of fanworks produced about them. And in turn, sometimes the authors don’t get a lot of love on their fics because the audiences are limited. It becomes a vicious cycle, and in the end, fandom suffers because there's an overrepresentation of just a few pairings, but many amazing characters to love and explore.

I would like to invite you all to take a look at some truly incredible pieces of fic for some much undervalued pairings in Peaky Blinders. If you have a moment, please leave the authors a comment to keep fueling their creativity, even if it’s brief, especially if you like the ship. Kudos are wonderful too, but comments really help writers know there’s an audience out there looking for rare pair content.

Cheers!

++++++++++

Chester Campbell / Tommy Shelby

Shameless by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Tommy has his usual meeting with Campbell in a café but decides to spice it a bit up.

Tatiana Petrovna / Alfie Solomons

Solnishko by Valkrist || [ E ] There was something lovely about all the movements, about kneading the dough, while listening to some radio shows, shaking one’s hand and laughing about the people and music the whole time. As stupid as it could be, Alfie didn’t like to be interrupted during this process. There was only one exception, only one person that could call him or come in without having to deal with his grumpiness.

Vivid by Strawberriez8800 || [ E ] In which Alfie dreams about getting fucked by Tatiana, and asks Tommy a question.

Dazzle Me Blind by Strawberriez8800 || [ T ] Tatiana glances back at Alfie over her shoulder. “Have you ever been fucked by a princess?” “Can’t say I have, no.” “Good,” she says, voice like molten gold. “I like to be the first at everything I do.”

Singular by Strawberriez8800 || [ E ] Alfie tugs on Tatiana's silver chain, pulls her down towards him. “Something you should know, princess,” he says, mouth brushing against the shell of her ear, “I’m not in the habit of sharing, am I now.” She grins a feral grin. “Not even with Tommy Shelby?”

Barney Thompson / Tommy Shelby

Play Pretend by Valkrist || [ T ] It shouldn’t feel this way, should it? He shouldn’t be that afraid, feel more comfortable. Enjoy all the moments, blossom and feel all this happiness, but he didn’t. Why was he sad? Why didn’t he experience the same things others were talking about?

Peaches, Roses, Sandalwood by Valkrist || [ E ] There was something fascinating about all the oils, vials and equipment standing on the table. Small glasses, various colors, paste, scrapers, everything one could imagine. Different scents filled the room - and in the middle of it all there was one filled, slightly violet flacon.

Always Landing on Their Feet by Valkrist || [ G ] Tommy had always been torn between doing business properly and giving Charlie enough love and attention. Never really knew how to do it well enough, how to make his childhood fulfilled enough, but he had thought that it was okay, that he did his best giving Charlie good education and lovely father-son evenings. Had even dared to think that his boy didn’t have any secrets and behaved nice when he had to go to London for some days. Well, this was until he got one particular fateful e-mail.

Indulge a Desire by Valkrist || [ E ] There were many things that helped Barney forget about all his duties for a while, but the low lighting was the best one, after all.

Been Reading Books of Old, the Legends and the Myths by Valkrist || [M] Remember the last time we wrote each other letters? I don’t, but well, maybe it’s a good idea. Kinda funny to send all this words, knowing that you won’t read them immediately. But I won’t write them too often, still gotta pay for my living, you know.

Tu as tué la peur qui là dans mes bras by Valkrist || [ T ] Tommy chuckled. It was always funny to listen to Barney, even if he couldn’t understand how the latter managed to stay that calm. It seemed as if Ollie made nothing but mistakes, but Barney was patient, so terribly patient. Repeated the words again and again, encouraged Ollie to go on and not to send it all to hell.

Thoughts of You Consume by Valkrist || [ E ] Barney had already known what was about to come at the races. Going there hadn’t really been his preferable option for the day, but there was no harm in doing it - just being on Tommy’s side, looking at the majestic horses and seeing the other man’s lips curling into a smile when everything went the way it should. Barney didn’t understand much of this sort of business, but it was alright as long as Tommy knew what he was doing.

May Carleton / Tommy Shelby

When You Walk in Smelling Like Her Perfume by Valkrist || [ T ] May had never thought this necklace would mean so much to her one day. It hadn’t been much more than a lovely gesture back then, a little present, a joke. Something that looked lovely and united them. Even the telepathy coming with it didn’t seem intimate back then, being a lovely side effect. Oh, how easy it had been back then…

Between This Heartbeat and the Next by Strawberriez8800 || [ G ] Tommy is looking at her like he’s finally living their moments rather than stealing them. What a sight it makes.

Off the Beaten Path by Strawberriez8800 || [ G ] Thomas is waiting for someone; May is not so conceited as to assume it is her, yet when she takes the seat beside him and orders herself a drink, with the way he looks at her, it would be asinine to conclude the case is anything else.

The One Who Got Away by Boundinshallows || [ M ] Tommy and May go on an overnight trip to purchase a horse.

James / Tommy Shelby

This was Nothing by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Tommy is frustrated after another meeting with Alfie and he needs an outlet. Luckily it finds him first.

Salt and Mint by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Tommy was forced to remain for dinner at Ada's, in fear of James revealing their little secret, and makes a deal with the boy for his good behavior... things escalate very quickly.

Like Thunder, Like Lightning by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Tommy feels torn after his hasty departure from Ada's, and a surprising phone call might, or might not help him move forward...

R U Mine? by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Tommy goes back to James, but it also comes with more consequences than he imagined... (Direct sequel to Like Thunder, Like Lightning!)

Jessie Eden / Ada Shelby

Dress by Keine_angst || [ G ] Now that she's made peace with her feelings towards Jessie Eden, there was only one obstacle left. The dress.

Hungry for (Your) Love by Keine_angst || [ G ] “Tommy, sweetheart, how can you expect me to agree to do something for you if you don’t explain what do you need from me?” she pointed out the obvious, because really, it wouldn’t be safe to just say yes and take the pot luck, not when Thomas Shelby was in charge. Ada agrees to help her brother out, but things get out of hand.

Billy Grade / Finn Shelby

Beyond Redemption (Just a Pawn) by Valkrist || [ M ] Finn was angry, fucking angry. Should’ve probably known that it all would come this way. Done something against it. Then again, what could he have done? Tommy hadn’t told him that much, trying to keep him away from this bad kind of business. Football bets were alright, but nothing more. Didn’t need to ship cocaine or opium or whatever this was about. Bets like in the good old times, having Billy to write everything down.

Gina Gray / Oswald Mosley

White Swan by Valkrist || [ M ] It was funny how they all hadn’t noticed it at all, Mosley thought. Such blind people. Didn’t see it, maybe simply didn’t want to, who was to say that. He hadn’t been truly interested in joining this dance - an evening with a bunch of fucking Gypsies wasn’t exactly his idea of a well spent time - but apparently there were some good things about occasions of that kind. Well, as long as he ignored the opium, cocaine and brandy. Really didn’t seem to know the rules, this silly people.

Lizzie Stark / Tommy Shelby

Again by Emjen_Enla || [ T ] Tommy rolled over. Again. Or Tommy and Lizzie mostly fail at this sharing a bed thing.

Bonnie Gold / Goliath

Raise the Boxing Gloves by Valkrist || [ M ] Poor boy didn’t know what dreamless nights were anymore. Always had something to think about, adventures happening, a combination of all the things he had experienced. Sometimes bad, sometimes good, sometimes it was simply unclear. But Goliath could beat it all out of him if he wasn’t careful enough. Made him forget with ease, his senses focussing on some little, often rather unimportant details. An impressive and talented young man.

Ollie / Alfie Solomons

Our Bones May Turn to Stone but Hearts like Ours Don’t Rust by Valkrist || [ T ] The dunes, the water, the sand, it was all calming. Ollie simply couldn’t get used to it after having spend so much time in London, knowing all the dirt of Camden. Muddy shoes, blood, he had seen it all, even though it was way better than Birmingham, if Alfie was to be believed.

Luca Changretta / Tommy Shelby

Now and Forever by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Luca is enchanted with the beautiful blue-eyed boy that attends the school he helps his mother at, little does he know Tommy Shelby feels the same way towards him...

Boysenberry Tie, with Periwinkle Eyes by WTSL_Writer_of_Things || [ G ] The bow was strange and new, the colour hard to come by and find. It wasn't often people managed to dye a bow that colour, so he snatched it up and bright it home to his blue eyes doll. Years go by and he finds that colour again, this time as a tie, and he gets the tie for his new Periwinkle eyed lover, who he practically drops to the floor for. So he gets a boysenberry tie, for the Periwinkle eyes of his strange lover.

Oswald Mosley / Tommy Shelby

Coat Wrapped Around His Shoulders by Valkrist || [ M ] It was a miracle, a fucking miracle.Tommy still didn’t know how Barney had stayed alive, but he had. Could have shot Mosley marvelously if it weren’t for this horrible interruption. A life for a life, except both people had stayed alive this time. And this was the other side of the coin. Mosley was still alive. A wonderful plan, all for nothing. So much effort put into it, all for nothing. But at least they hadn’t caught them, so Tommy could still keep his cover. Could enter the hospital without people suspecting him, ready to figure it all out.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders fanfic #tommy shelby #alfie solomons #ada thorne #lizzie stark #jessie eden #tatiana petrovna #may carleton #oswald mosley #gina gray #finn shelby #barney thompson #chester campbell #luca changretta #long post

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nerianasims · 3 years

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Billboard #1s 1987

Under the cut.

"Shake You Down" -- Gregory Abbot -- January 17, 1987

The only reason I've heard this song before is because of Todd in the Shadows' worst hit songs of 1987 video. I do not entirely agree with his list, but this one definitely belongs on it. I don't think the song's writer knew what "shake down" actually means. This is supposed to be a love song about how the narrator is missing the woman he's staring at (um) and wants her back so he can "shake you down." It sounds creepy, and yet the music is so painfully bland it can't even rise to that. It's no surprise it hasn't gotten radio play since it was a hit. That it was a hit in the first place is mystifying.

"At This Moment" -- Billy Vera and the Beaters -- January 24, 1987

A rather good blue-eyed soul song. The narrator is singing to a woman who just told him she's in love with someone else. It sounds like she's acting scared, and he's upset by that as well as by her leaving him, because "I'd never, never hurt you." And he'd give up twenty years of his life if she'd stay. There are some massive blues horns, Billy Vera sings it well, and it's cathartically sad. The song became a hit years after it was first released because it was on Family Ties. Billy Vera keeps on chugging, and he's also a music historian. He won a Grammy for "best album notes" in 2013 for a Ray Charles boxed set. I had no idea that was an award category.

"Open Your Heart" -- Madonna -- February 7, 1987

Watch out. When Madonna says "I've had to work much harder than this/ For something I want, don't try to resist me," it's absolutely believable. She worked incredibly hard to get where she was. I guess the song is stalkery when looked at from a certain angle, but that is not the angle I choose. I hear it as I did as a teenager -- as something aspirational, because I got huge and powerful crushes on guys (mostly friends) and then did absolutely nothing about it, both because I had no idea what to do and because I didn't actually want a boyfriend yet. (That changed in college.) Musically and lyrically, the song is Motown mixed with disco and updated, as most of the True Blue album is. It's a lot of fun.

"Livin on a Prayer" -- Bon Jovi -- February 14, 1987

I wonder what I'd feel about this song if it hadn't been overplayed for years and years. I don't think it was/is played more than "You Give Love a Bad Name," but I have never been sick of "You Give Love a Bad Name." This one... meh. I don't want to run screaming from it, even after hearing it a zillion times, so that's something. It's about a working class couple who's having serious money troubles. It's just a snapshot of this difficult time in their life, and how they're holding on to each other. I'd be happier with it if the story were rounded out, and especially if they got a happy ending. The music is fine, acceptable rock, but nothing special.

"Jacob's Ladder" -- Huey Lewis and the News -- March 14, 1987

This song is a "fuck off" to televangelists, though if you only listen to the chorus you might not know that. I always appreciate anyone telling televangelists to fuck off. I could use it being nastier, but you can't expect real nastiness from Huey Lewis and the News. Genesis would go there a few years later, and I like that song much better. "Jesus He Knows Me" is also more interesting musically. This one's fine, but not memorable.

"Lean on Me" -- Club Nouveau -- March 21, 1987

The original "Lean on Me" is one of the great songs. This version is annoying. A go-go beat and a faux-reggae break. The original of this song is deeply emotional and touching. This one is not even a good dance song. I liked it when I was a kid, but that makes sense, because it's a very kiddie song.

"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" -- Starship -- April 4, 1987

This song is actually not bad. It's pretty good, even. It's a very slick synth-heavy drum machine love song, but I really like the way Grace Slick sings on it. Mickey Thomas, well, he hits the notes. Could be worse. If they'd gotten a male vocalist who could match Grace Slick on his part of the duet, this might be a great song. They didn't, so it's just pretty good.

"I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" -- Aretha Franklin and George Michael -- April 18, 1987

George Michael is an excellent singer, but he's no Aretha Franklin. But who is? He holds his own pretty well here. As both Franklin and Michael know how to push emotion in a song, they end up with good chemistry on this one. Unfortunately, though the vocal performances are great, the music itself is dull. The melody slips out of my head while I'm listening to it.

"(I Just) Died in Your Arms" -- Cutting Crew -- May 2, 1987

*silent scream of anguish* I wish this song would slip out of my head permanently. It is my personal most overplayed song in existence. My hate for it could end worlds. I have no idea about what qualities it might or might not have. I just want it to shut the fuck up.

"With or Without You" -- U2 -- May 16, 1987

I don't think U2 actually counts as "alternative," but the alternative stations were the only ones who played them where I lived. The song is extremely structured and carefully designed, but it feels somehow raw at the same time. It doesn't have the layers upon layers of synth that most of the songs on the charts did. It has a beautiful melody. The lyrics are thoughtful, heartrending poetry. I'm not sure what I thought of the song at the time -- I associate it more with a couple years later, when my family moved to a town near a huge state college and I started listening to the college station. It hasn't aged a bit. An amazing song.

Also Bono’s personality is somewhat insufferable if one is silly enough to look into it. But his voice is incredibly hot, and I very much appreciate that.

"You Keep Me Hangin' On" -- Kim Wilde -- June 6, 1987

Back to the layers of synth. This is the Supremes song updated as a 1987 dance song, and it sounds exactly like you'd think it would. It's okay.

"Always" -- Atlantic Starr -- June 13, 1987

This is the kind of song I made gagging noises about at age 10, when it came out. I'm tempted to now too. It's like corn syrup, both lyrically and musically. It sounds like it was written for weddings.

"Head to Toe" -- Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam -- June 20, 1987

I liked this song a lot when I was a kid. I had a lot of fun dancing to it. Now I hear Lisa Lisa's vocals in the opening and chorus, which are kind of like a police siren, and want to cover my ears. I can't listen to it without getting a headache nowadays.

"I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" -- Whitney Houston -- June 27, 1987

This is a Whitney Houston song I like. She doesn't oversing as much as usual -- she mostly, though not entirely, saves it for the chorus. She wants to dance with "a man who'll take a chance/ On a love that burns hot enough to last." It's a simple dance song that speaks to real emotion.

"Alone" -- Heart -- July 11, 1987

In the 80s, Heart did hair metal ballads. All the men who did the same were copying them. Including the hair itself. Heart did it first, and Heart did it best. So lyrically, why can't she get this person alone? Not even on the phone? Whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters is the emotion, the music, and that this is a great song to sing along with.

"Shakedown" -- Bob Seger -- August 1, 1987

Unlike Gregory Abbott, Bob Seger knew what "shakedown" meant. The song was written for Beverly Hills Cop II, and that's exactly what it sounds like. It's a good movie song, but doesn't transcend that box. Still fun though.

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" -- U2 -- August 8, 1987

This is a spiritual pop song. But it's very far from the sanitized happy clappy Christian-brand pop that's so foul. It's about a search for transcendence that's ongoing -- eternal, really. And while this song is explicitly Christian, it speaks to a universality that doesn't require religion of any kind. Also it's beautiful musically.

"Who's That Girl" -- Madonna -- August 22, 1987

I'm surprised this was a number one. Or even charted in the top 20. I'd have predicted #46 or something. The movie it was written for was terrible, and Madonna was particularly terrible in it. Like, aggressively terrible, when in most movies she was just kinda blah. I've never liked the song. I don't hate it either; I don't feel much of anything about it. That is very strange for a Madonna song -- "American Life" is awful, but it makes me feel things. (Mostly embarrassment.) But "Who's That Girl" is bland, which a Madonna song should never be.

"La Bamba" -- Los Lobos -- August 29, 1987

This is a nearly faithful rendition of Richie Valens' original hit, which was based on a Veracruz folk song. But where are the castanets? The original is better, a true classic, but this one isn't bad. It's simply... unnecessary. It was done for a movie about Valens, so I guess it was sort of "necessary" in that way. Skip this one and go for Valens' version.

"I Just Can't Stop Loving You" -- Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett -- September 19, 1987

This is from the Bad album, which I did not like in 1987 and continue to not like now. I find this song extraordinarily dull. Whitney Houston and Barbra Streisand both turned it down, and I'm not surprised. This song weirdly makes me think of The Love Boat. Like it belongs in a television series. It's legitimately bad. When do we get to Janet again?

"Didn't We Almost Have It All" -- Whitney Houston -- September 26, 1987

I think the narrator in this song is trying to get an old flame back. It's a pretty melody, and the lyrics are wildly repetitive but not bad, but I can't get past Houston's oversinging. Anyone who doesn't mind that will probably enjoy this song.

"Here I Go Again" -- Whitesnake -- October 10, 1987

I wonder what makes one feel a song is "horribly overplayed" vs. just "played probably too much but I'm fine with it." This song is the latter for me. It's a really good song, so obviously that's part of it. The beginning is thoughtful and searching, with an organ and everything (or probably a synth on the organ setting), and has that same spiritual feel as "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." Then in come the guitars, which are awesome. It absolutely rocks, and the emotion is of "like a drifter I was born to walk alone" is amplified by the rock, rather than buried under it.

"Lost in Emotion" -- Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam -- October 17, 1987

Lisa Lisa does not sound like a police siren in this, thankfully. And I got frozen on this song because I listened to it over and over and managed to feel absolutely nothing about it. I guess she's falling in love with a friend and worried she's telling him too much, and I should identify with this because it's happened to me more than once. But I don't. I like the bass line, and it's updated Motown, so I should like that. But again, I feel nothing. Maybe it's the way Lisa Lisa sings it. I don't know, and I've wasted far too much time on something I cannot make myself care about in any way.

"Bad" -- Michael Jackson -- October 24, 1987

I think the Bad album is bad. Actually bad, as in not good. I was 11 when this hit #1, so everything in the universe embarrassed me, but this stood out. I no longer knew anyone who liked Michael Jackson. I certainly didn't. In my opinion, Jackson had exactly one good album in him, and that album was Thriller. Thriller is one of the greats. Bad is blah.

"I Think We're Alone Now" -- Tiffany -- November 7, 1987

I wonder what makes stations decide to play #1 hits and what makes them decide not to. I don't remember hearing this much at the time, and never after. It's a cover of a 1960s song that was never that great, and it's worse here. In 1967, the "ooh we're alone gonna do something naughty" idea was still edgy. In 1987 -- are you kidding? Madonna's tearing up the charts in 1987; what on earth is this thing doing on it? It's an annoying song, annoyingly sung.

"Mony Mony" -- Billy Idol -- November 21, 1987

I had to do aerobics to this in middle school. Next!

"(I've Had) The Time of My Life" -- Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes -- November 28, 1987

This is one of those songs I can't really evaluate because it feels like background music to my life. Not that it was ever particularly important to me -- it's not. But it's sort of like "Eye of the Tiger", movie song and all. Medley and Warnes are well-matched on the song, and they do a great job. I wish the music were more interesting, but well, movie ballad. It's a good one for what it is. By the way, Dirty Dancing is another movie I've managed to never see. For no reason -- I might even like it. But somehow, it's never come up.

"Heaven Is a Place on Earth" -- Belinda Carlisle -- December 5, 1987

Ooh baby, do you know what that's worth? Yes. I love everything about this song. It's a big and unashamed dance power ballad about how great love is, and the lyrics are simple but powerful. But I have a question: What the heck is up with the video? It looks like she's being inducted into a cult, not like she's in ecstasy over great romantic love. Well, it was the 80s, the videos usually didn't have anything to do with the songs. Still, weird.

"Faith" -- George Michael -- December 12, 1987

I've known the lyrics to this song since it came out, but I never registered them before. Only "I gotta have faith, faith, faith." I remember the video, though, with its prominent focus on George Michael's butt. I'm watching the video now, and huh, there's a basically naked woman in it too. That, I didn't remember, because it wasn't relevant to my interests. Anyway, the lyrics are about how the narrator needs a break from relationships so is not gonna have sex with this hot woman. Sure, George, that's why. Ahem. Sorry, we didn't know then, and it doesn't matter one bit anyway, because the singer is playing a role. It's a fun song for which the lyrics don't matter at all.

BEST OF 1987 -- "With or Without You" by U2 WORST OF 1987 -- "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" by Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett

#billboard number ones

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allisondraste · 4 years

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on writing kiddos

Hi, hello there, it’s me again back with the first bit of meta in a really long time. I’ve been incredibly distracted with school as well as my longfic, which was actually the inspiration for this post. Just to provide some context, I write a story that spans the lives of my two protagonists from the time they are young children, all the way to their mid twenties, highlighting pivotal moments in their childhood that have had some lasting impact on their present day selves, and as such, I have spent quite a lot of time writing from the perspective of precocious kids and moody teens.

Fortunately, I love kids, and I’ve had years of experience in both being a big sister and working professionally with kids as both a childcare worker and a therapist. I’ve gotten to spend a lot of time around kiddos and learn the inner workings of their amazing, rapidly developing brains, and so I’m here to share some of the things I’ve learned AND how it can be applied in a writing situation. I know that lots of people have apprehensions when writing kids, and so I hope that my anecdotal tips will be helpful to someone out there.

I’ll drop the rest behind a handy dandy read more to spare your all’s feeds. ;D

Age and Cognitive Development

When we write adult characters, part of getting their characterization pinned down is understanding how they think, and the same thing applies to kiddos! Cognitive and socio-emotional development are long-researched topics, so there are a multitude of varying theories, and it can be quite complex to break down into neat categories that apply to all kids. In fact, all kids develop at different rates, despite following the same general trajectory.

Generally speaking, children start out understanding the world primarily through their senses, reflexes, and movements (interactions with the environment), and end with a fairly complex system of abstraction and understanding of hypotheticals. (Note that these development ranges are based upon those who are neurotypical and neurodiverse characters would not necessarily have the same markers, so if anyone has any specific tips for writing neurodiverse kids and would like to chime in, please feel free to do so!)

0-2 years - highly sensory/motor based, lots of reflexes; learn the difference between self and environment and differences between objects. Emotions develop more rapidly, beginning with anger, disgust, fear, surprise, happiness, and gradually developing more and more complicated feelings. Even at 2 years old, they are likely to not have a solid grasp on labeling the ways they are feeling, and things are mostly behavioral and reflexive.

2-7 years - children begin to understand symbols and develop language, beginning with the basics and progressing to fairly complex thoughts. Children between these ages think in a very concrete fashion and are highly reliant upon objects, but they do begin to pretend and roleplay. Children around these ages are egocentric and usually struggle to take the perspective of others. However, they begin to develop the ability to identify and express their feelings and thoughts simply, but struggle to understand the thoughts and feelings of others.

Mommy had a scrunched up face when she looked a the mess in the house. Billy didn’t really know why her face did that sometimes. (approx 4ish)

7 - 11(ish) - Development of perspective-taking and concrete problem-solving. Thoughts gradually become more complex and holistic, though children at this stage of development take things literally, and at face-value. They typically can understand their own feelings and infer the feelings of others from facial expressions, body language, etc., although they may be inaccurate in their assumptions.

Mommy’s face scrunched up when she looked at the mess Billy made in the floor. It was the same face she made when Daddy didn’t take his shoes off before stepping on the carpet. It usually meant mommy was annoyed (Approx. 7-8)

Mom’s face wrinkled when she looked at the mess Billy had left in the floor. He began to pick his things up so she wouldn’t fuss at him. (Approx 10 or 11)

11+ - The ability to think in the abstract and understand hypotheticals begins to develop around age 11, however, it’s different for everyone. Children and teens usually start to have rather complex thoughts and make inferences based on subtle cues. They’re able to manipulate information mentally and come to develop their own opinions and conclusions.

Billy’s mother wasn’t even home yet, and he could already see the look on her face she would have when she saw the mess on the floor. He hurredly began to scrub the stain from the rug. He was going to be in so much trouble. He knew it.

Teenagerdom - Most teens have all the complex thoughts and emotions that adults have, but often have less experience and/or ability to cope with and regulate those thoughts and feelings. Many teens are stuck in this place of being expected to behave in an adult way, while still being treated as a child. It’s a rough time. Not to mention, teenagers experience a re-emergence of egocentrism that takes the form of “Everyone is watching and judging me all the time,” and also “Nobody has ever experienced what I am experiencing and if they have experienced it, then they haven’t experienced it to this degree.” That all settles down with cognitive maturation and experiences; however, the experiences of teenagers often extend well into the 20s.

Examining the mess on the floor, Billy knew that his mother was going to kill him. Murder. She’d chew him up and spit him back out, never to see the light of day again. It was the end. Unless of course he could scrub the stubborn stain from the rug. This had to be the worst thing that could have possibly happened.

Personal Experience and Intelligence

As I mentioned above, those age ranges are broad, general “this is sort of what should be happening when,” but they’re more guidelines rather than hard and fast rules. When writing children, it is helpful to consider the personal experiences a child has had in their lives up to that point as well as their intelligence. Those are not the measure of a person (even a little one), but they make a huge difference in the rate at which a child matures and interacts with the world. Generally kids who have more difficult upbringings and those who end up parenting themselves and/or caring for siblings, often seem older than they really are, particularly in regard to their behavior.

Just to provide some examples for reference, the children that I write in my story are mostly nobles who have relatively comfortable, safe, and happy childhoods. My Cousland, Liss, is generally a carefree, impulsive, emotional, messy, privileged child, and so I modeled her development more closely in line with the “guidelines.” Nathaniel is also a noble, but he’s more thoughtful, and has kind of been placed into a parental role in that his dad is emotionally abusive at the very least, and after his mother dies, he is the rock that his siblings stand on, and at that point in time, he is only 10. He has to grow up a lot faster than he may have had to otherwise. As a very strong counterpoint, there are other characters who do not have any environmental privileges during their childhood. A very good portrayal of this sort of thing is this comparison of Isabela and Hawke’s respective upbringings.

Both intelligence and life experiences can lead to a quicker rate of cognitive development and maturation in some cases, that does not mean that they are “grown up” or in anyway done developing. Even the brightest kids, even the kids who have faced unbelievable adversity are still kids and they often still experience impulsivity, emotion dysregulation, and other things that one might not see in adults with the same experiences. Furthermore, some kids may not even experience advanced development, instead regressing from the lack of social support and modeling from attachment figures.

Basically, nothing is hard and fast.

Personality

The next thing I wanted to touch upon is personality. I think there is a tendency to portray all kids as Standard Kids (which I have endearingly coined Standard Kid Syndrome). It is all well and good if the intention is just to show a Standard Kid; however, if you really want to dig deep into a character, into who that child is, it’s so important to consider personality traits. From birth, children have dispositions, and as they grow and learn more about themselves and the world, those dispositions become personality. Personality traits should shine through very early on! Kids can be open to experience or rigid and anxious, they can be introverted or extroverted, they can be impulsive or restrained, they can be aggressive, meek, funny, serious, meticulous, silly, cool, gruff, grumpy, snarky, sassy, nerdy, quirky, shy, friendly, withdrawn, and so on and so forth. Children are new humans; they are not incomplete humans.

The Kid Voice

When writing from the point of view of a child, all of the things discussed above factor into word choice. Just like writing adult characters, the way a kid talks in dialogue, or narrates even, is influenced by a blend of so many different things. Young kids’ descriptions are going to have simpler sentence structures and words. They may introspect less and observe more. They may express themselves through their bodies and actions more. They may have trouble describing what they’re feeling, or understanding what they’re seeing. Teens may describe things more dramatically and intensely than similar adults would. They may not. What is important is considering the mix of traits and experiences they have in relation to cognitive development. It’s really no different from writing any other character. It just takes research and planning to get in The Zone.

TL;DR

- Understanding how kids think is a good starting point to writing kids

- Personal experiences, intelligence, and the interaction of qualities can influence how a child thinks in a multitude of ways

- Kids have personalities! They’re not blank slates that have yet to be filled. They are whole people, and it’s good to give proper care to show those unique, wonderful little minds that they have

- It’s not so much different than writing adults! It just takes some time spent looking through a different lens!

- This is not a comprehensive reference by any means, so please feel free to chime in!

#writing reference #meta #long post #kids #it is the night #and i must sleep now #yikes #the things i do to get a meta idea out of my head

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tillidontneedfantasy · 4 years

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‘WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?’ - Billie Eilish REVIEW: Making ‘Em Bow One By One

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?

An interesting question you pose there, Billie. When I fall asleep, I usually dream about being a part of the Harry Potter universe and trying to defeat Voldemort with the golden trio. But unfortunately, I don’t go there every night. I mean, believe me, fighting off The Dark Lord can be scary sometimes. But sometimes I go to even darker places, and it always takes a few moments when waking up to believe I’m really in my bed. Much of Billie Eilish’s debut album invites you into the dark parts of her subconscious, and sometimes her extreme consciousness, to which she goes. Of course, “asleep” could also be interpreted as, well, dead. Which is a nice way to phrase it. Ideal, really. How wonderful would it be if death was just an eternal nap? No one would ever be afraid to die.

Maybe that’s what Billie believes it is, and why she seems so desperate to go there on WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? (WWAFA,WDWG?) For a then-16-year-old girl, I wish she wasn’t so tired. “ilomilo,” “bury a friend” and most concerning, “listen before I go,” explore her friends who have been taken from her, and her desire to join them. I’m glad she hasn’t.

So is she. In a now traditional Vanity Fair video, Billie answers the same interview questions three years in a row, exactly a year apart. Expect The Fourth Year one October 18th, 2020. It is one of the most fascinating videos I have ever watched. Though the same at the core, there is a different version of Billie in each year. Which is to be expected, as she is a teenager in the limelight. But the video of year 2, which was around 5 months prior to WWAFA,WDWG?’s release, Billie openly admits to being in a very dark place, discussing how her friend had died. Her posture and affect are noticeably different in years 1 and 3. In the third and latest installment, Billie is an upgraded, happier and more comfortable version of the previous two. You can hear the change in her voice, see it in her face. In response to the question, “What’s most important to you right now?” her answer is, “Maintaining my happiness, which I have been experiencing for the first time in many years….I wanna stay happy. That’s a big goal for me.”

Billie Eilish is one of the biggest breakout stars of the past few years. Her following is enormous, and though fans vary in age, many of them fall in her cohort. Generation Z is special in many ways: morbidly funny, proudly outspoken, self-aware, and unafraid to be different. Billie Eilish is all of these things incarnate, the perfect spearhead for this generation and what they represent. She dresses how she wants to dress and makes the kind of music that she wants to make, refusing to follow the molded expectations of young up and coming female stars before her. In that music, she also does what very few artists, young or old, have ever done: candidly explores mental illness and suicidal ideation.

These issues have become more and more prevalent in today’s society, yet they are still extremely stigmatized. Like many teenagers, I experienced the sadness and darkness Billie is singing about. I’m almost 25 now, but I can imagine how 15-year-old Cass would feel hearing this album and seeing Billie as she is in the third year of that Vanity Fair interview. Understood. Not alone. And hopeful, hopeful that things get better. At that age you feel like everything is the end of the world, because it is developmentally and socially some of the most difficult years in the human experience. And to hear someone you look up to say, “I feel this way, too,” and then see them continue fighting, and happy that they did...that can change someone’s life.

Thankfully, Billie still injects some levity into the album. The musical hook in “bad guy” feels like a defining moment for Gen Z the way the musical hook in “Toxic” was for us Millennials. “all the good girls go to hell” unflinchingly decrees that God Is A Woman™, and “my strange addiction” has cuts from The Office, Eilish’s favorite show, interspersed throughout the song. Gen Z is taking over, and Billie’s one hell of a ringleader.

STRONGEST TRACK(S): “i love you,” “xanny”

The phrase “I love you” has never felt so intimate as it does coming from Billie’s mouth in the penultimate track on WWAFA,WDWG? Sandwiched between two tracks where all together they form a sentence (listen before I go, I love you, goodbye) "i love you" is the most mesmerizing and most vulnerable, not just of the three but of the whole album. As a listener, you are dying to know what's hidden between the lines. Why doesn't she want to love this person even though she clearly does? What did she do to make him cry? Why are you, the listener, crying right now? With the smallest breath, the quietest whisper, the emotion Eilish emits is enormous. Every once in a while you hear a song that you feel will never leave you, and “i love you” has all the makings to be everlasting.

As does the message in “xanny,” a dynamic song that mostly sounds like an old-time jazz track, although infuses a blaring noise over the chorus, as if you are standing right next to the booming stereo at the party setting in which she speaks. The layering of hums in the background and at the end of the song provides a necessary subtle softness, making it all the more beautiful. The track is a statement from Eilish that she has no interest in the lifestyle that so many kids her age- famous or not- lead, partly because she does not understand the appeal of its effects, and partly because she does not want to invest herself in someone willingly bringing harm upon themself, as she previously has. “I can’t afford to love someone who isn’t dying by mistake,” she asserts. Of course, most things in moderation are good and fine, but there is an ever-persistent pressure for young people to use substances, for easier social interactions or easier claim to desirable social status. There is a plethora of music out there promoting the party lifestyle, but very few saying, “hey, it’s okay if you’re not about this, you’re still cool,” and so a celebrity as big as Billie abstaining from it, and providing a reasonable explanation, gives a figure of understanding and solidarity to all the outliers.

WEAKEST TRACK: “8”

Not a bad song by any means, “8” is just the least memorable on an album filled with extremely intriguing and standout tracks. There is an interesting choice of vocal styles that alternate throughout, one of which it sounds as if Eilish is emulating the voice of a little girl. She is asking the subject to just give her some common courtesy and hear her out. "Who am I to be in love / when your love never is for me?" she asks, in the most compelling moment of the song. It is a difficult line to walk, knowing someone doesn't owe you anything but wanting them to anyway. Although the song is effective, its replay value doesn't quite match with the other contenders.

THE IN-BETWEENS

Although Eilish is authentic in her own right, you can see the draw of inspiration from unique artists before her. Lorde's imprint is all over "you should see me in a crown," a catchy song about ruling the world and making everyone bow down to her with the sound of a knife sharpening at the top, and “listen before i go” is reminiscent of Lana Del Rey’s morose romances. “when the party’s over,” written solely by Billie’s brother, collaborator, and best friend, Finneas O’Connell, is a beautifully quiet moment in the middle of the album, with absolutely gorgeous high notes from Billie. The song is succinct and poignant, noting the inner conflict between wanting a friend to be more than just that and yet feeling the need to keep up boundaries to protect your heart; but when has that done anyone any good?

BEST PROSPECTIVE SINGLE: “my strange addiction”

In the age of Netflix, The Office continues to grow in popularity with younger viewers who missed it on air. Who better to bolster the movement than Verified The Office super fan, Billie Eilish? In “my strange addiction,” Eilish and O’Connell draw inspiration from the classic episode, “Threat Level Midnight,” where Michael Scott (Steve Carrell) has finally finished his movie and is ready to premiere it to the office. In his movie, Scott’s character, Michael Scarn, teaches the entire bar how to do his signature dance, “The Scarn.” “No, Billie, I haven’t done that dance since my wife died!” the song begins, which is a real line from the episode. “my strange addiction” borrows from the track for “The Scarn,” which is simply genius. Everyone is doing “The Scarn,” fictional or nonfictional, even NFL player Trey Quinn, who did the famed routine for his touchdown dance. Not only will “my strange addiction” convert The Office fans to Billie Eilish fans, but just imagine the amount of TikToks there could be of people doing “The Scarn” to this song…think about the meme potential, Billie! *Ed Helms voice* There’s a whole crowd of people out there who need to learn how to do the “my strange addiction.”

*****

Billie Eilish, and her debut album, WWAFA,WDWG? is impressive in a multitude of ways: she is raw, candid, silly, wildly intelligent, and most importantly, full of a lot of love, no matter how much she claims she does not want to be. Perhaps most impressive is that the only writers and producers credited on this album are Eilish and O’Connell, ages 18 and 22, respectively, at the time of this review, yet 17 and 21 at the time of its release, which means they were 16 and 20 at the time of writing and production. For two young people to create such an impactful album on such a massive scale on their own is a rarity, and has not been seen since the beginning of Taylor Swift’s career, and look at where she is now. Billie’s music might be different, but her trajectory seems quite similar. At Billboard’s Women in Music ceremony in December of 2019, Swift was honored with Woman of the Decade while Eilish was honored with Woman of the Year. Both artists paid homage to the other in their speeches, harkening back to Swift’s 2014 Woman of the Year speech where she alludes to a future Woman of the Year recipient learning piano and singing in choir; Swift had said back then that we need to take care of her, and Eilish tearfully thanked the room for doing just that. As Swift continues to fight against the system to pave the way for female artists, the clearing is all Billie’s. If Billie continues to maintain ownership of her voice, as I’m sure she will, it looks like the woman of the next decade is a lock. The crown looks great on Billie, and I cannot wait to see where she takes us while we’re all awake. Grade: 4.5/5

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: The first time I listened to WWAFA,WDWG? the only tracks that really captured my attention were “bad guy” and “my strange addiction.” I wanted to like it so bad, but I felt like I was missing something. Maybe that’s because I listened to the album at work and did not take it in properly. But I also felt like she was whispering too much, which made it difficult for me to stay interested. So I did not revisit it. However, over this past year, despite not listening to her music, I started to form a big-sister-type love for Billie, feeling as if I must protect her at all costs (any man over the age of like, 20, reading this: stay the fuck away from her you sickos!!!). I loved how she embraced her individuality and did whatever she wanted. I watched many interviews of her on YouTube (one being the Vanity Fair one, where she talks about how the criticism that she whispers a lot is hurtful yet true- Billie, I’m sorry!!) and found her to be so intelligent. To me, her and Taylor Swift (my number one love) are two sides of the same coin, or two paths to the same destination. What I mean by that is that as a lover of music and as a girl going through a difficult time, sometimes you need positivity to counteract the negative feelings, other times you need to lean into the sadness to release it all; though they both possess a bit of both, Taylor is more of the positive route, Billie more of the sad route. The thing is, you need both options. Billie reminds me of Taylor so much; she writes all of her own music (with her brother as her only co-writer), she has blown up at such a young and vulnerable age (if WWAFA,WDWG? wins AOTY at the Grammys, Billie will be the youngest ever recipient since Taylor won for Fearless at the age of 20), and she is committed to saying and doing what she wants to do the way she wants to do it. After listening to the album a few more times leading up to the Grammys to write this review, I get it. I truly get it. I’m sorry it took so long. And although her super soft vocals are definitely effective, I still want her to project more. The girl has a gorgeous voice; she should use it! But also she doesn’t need my advice, she’s doing fine. Keep whispering, baby girl. I feel very nervous for Billie, because when a woman reaches the top this quickly, everyone gets ready to push her off just as fast, and the fall can be fatal. But I believe in her ability to stand her ground. Please protect Billie at all costs!!!!

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chocolate-milk-fanfics · 5 years

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I ain’t sorry

Warnings: miscarriage, gun violence, kidnapping, cheating, period typical sexism, Implied black reader, and OOCness of characters

Word count: 6095

"You don't love me Tom! So stop acting like you care about me!"

"That's not true and you know it!"

"Then say it Thomas! Prove me wrong! Because you putting your dick in the barmaid while your wife takes care of this shit show you made ain't exactly helping your case!"

"Its not th- Y/n just listen!-"

"Mommy! 'ungry!"

Opening your eyes you met the heterochromic eyes of your twin toddler boys. They stood in front of you with wide smiles and bouncing as the stood at either side of you. Sitting up straight you gave them a wide smile, shoving the memory of the night you left to the back of your mind as ruffled their curly locks. "Oh are you now? Well let's get mommy's two babies food alright?"

"Not 'aby!"

"Yeah! Not 'aby!"

Both of them whined as they followed close behind you. Charles held onto your skirt while Kenji held your hand as you led them to the kitchen. A giggle escaped you as their brown and blue eyes roamed the room for snacks before lunch. They were fraternal twins but alike in every way possible, as expected of twins. Charles was older by 1 hour and had more shaggy hair than Kenji, his left eye was blue and the other brown. While Kenji's hair was more curly, yet easier to manage than Charles, his right eye blue and other brown. Both of them had the same light brown skin, freckles, dark brows, and smile that lit up your world. Not to mention the same scowl and protective fearless nature of their father. And oh, their laugh. Just like his when you were growing up. There was no doubt they were your husband's sons and you never denied it, you could never forget him after all. Even with all the pain he caused, there was so much happiness and your sons were the product of that. "What!? Not baby? But you're my babies!" you teased softly as you began to spread the peanut butter and jelly onto the bread.

The twins looked at each other, an unspoken conversation being shared between them as you made them lunch. Kenji shook his head and pouted as he looked at his brother, the conversation came to an end as Kenji pulled on your skirt. "Not 'aby! We's 'ig 'oy!"

"Kenny stop pulling on Mommy's skirt like that." You said simply as you cut the first sandwich into 4 little triangles like the boys preferred. Charles didn't say anything, seemingly in deep thought as he looked up at you staring at your bare stomach. Since you normally only wore undershirts and a simple loose pair of pants it was no surprise that your stomach was exposed. "And don't be silly Kenny, you and Charlie will always be my babies even when we're all really really old."

"Mommy?"

"Yes Charlie?"

"What's tat 'oo-boo on you tum?"

Glancing down a frown spread across your face as you remember the way you got the wound in the first place. Taking a bullet for Tommy while pregnant wasn't your best choice but when you woke up and found out he was at the Garrison with Grace it made you realize something. That you didn't need no fucking man to make it in the world, not when that man was cheating on you. So that same night, after the showdown with Billy Kimber you bought a ticket out of town and settled down. The countryside was nice after all. No smoke, no cars, no Thomas Shelbys and no stress. It was hard, being a pregnant woman of color starting a new life but you did it and made good honest money as a nurse. Your herb and tea mixtures were known all through London and you were proud to support your boys while helping so many people.

"Mommy?"

Shaking your head you glanced down at. Charlie and smiled apologetically. "Sorry Charlie Mommy spaced out for a bit. What did you say?"

Your sons looked at each other once again and then Charles shook his head. "Never 'ind! Is lunch done?"

Nodding your head you smiled and handed both boys their own plates of food. They giggled and ran off to the living room to eat while they drew pictures. The smile that spread across your face was short lived as you watched as a familiar car pulled up in front of your home. "Boys. Bunker now." You said calmly, soft enough for them not panic but clear enough for them to know you're serious.

The two of them took their plates and papers down the hall with them. Kenji pulled on the secret handle of the fireplace and it open ever so slightly, but wide enough for them to squeeze into before it closed. Once it was securely shut you grabbed a robe and tightly wrapped it around you as a knock sounded at the door. Taking a deep breath you opened the door to look at the familiar blue eyes you fell in love with. "Thomas Shelby, John Shelby, Arthur Shelby, and Pollyanna Shelby what brings you all to my front door step? And how did you find me? Was it Alfie?"

Tommy started into your eyes, and it took everything within you not to crumble and fall into his arms. He was bruised and battered with a red eye and you wanted nothing more than to give him a better treatment than the shit hospital he went to. There were so many things you wanted to do to the Shelby family, most of them pleasant, but right now you just kept your door slightly open and your face indifferent. "I told 'im Y/n about the baby. Why didn't you tell 'im? Where are they?"

"It doesn't matter now, Pol. That's why I left. I couldn't stay there knowing my took a bullet for my ex-husband and in return he slept with the barmaid as I lost my child." you said smoothly as you looked into her brown eyes. Shock spread across her face as she scanned you for any signs for lying, unable to find one she let out a choked sob as Tommy looked at you in pure horror.

"Y-"

"Save it Thomas. I don't want your pity. I don't want your apology. I just want you-"

"Stop it." came his harsh voice as he looked down at the ground.

"Stop what Thoma-"

"Don't! Don't call me that!" he growled. Silence surrounded the lot of you as Tommy breathe became ragged and his eyes became wet. "I thought you were dead, we all did. And after 3 years of being apart, of missing you, the last thing I want to hear you call me is Thomas. I don't care who else calls me it. I just can't handle it from you."

You didn't say anything as you stared into the blue eyes he passed onto your sons, instead you bit your lip as your own eyes got wet. "Tommy you broke my heart. I gave everything. I did everything for you, only to find out from Lizzie fucking Stark you were taking the barmaid to the races. The same thing you promised me when I was 14 and you were 17. You promised me so many things and you broke each and everyone one. Even our wedding vows. I loved you Tommy. No one else! And what did you do!?" You couldn't stop the tears streaming down your face as you began to yell. Shoving Tommy into Arthur you let them keep falling, knowing none of the Shelbys could stand it. "You slept with the fucking barmaid and took her to the places you promised me! How did it feel huh!? How did it feel to find out I was right? Did you feel stupid?"

"Y/n th-thats enough." Polly stuttered softly as she tried to embrace you. You easily shook off her grip and stared into the eyes of the man that broke your heart. The man who was still in shock in his brother's grasp.

"Is it Pol!? Is it!? I told y'all she was a fucking spy from day one and none of you believed me! What changed your mind!? The bullet I lost a baby to!? Or was it the bullet Danny took!? It's funny how for you Shelbys to listen someone has to die. Well did it work? Did you get what you want-"

"Y/n.."

"Do you feel like a man now Tommy? Are you happy with the outcome? You work alone right!? Well look where it got you! Down a kid! Down a wife! Down a loyal servant! Well don't worry. Thomas Shelby! I bet you've gotten plenty of new ones to repeat the process with!" You spat harshly. You knew your boys might be able to hear you, that's why you did your best not to curse as you looked at the people you once called a family. Letting out a soft sob you put your face in your hands and brushed it back to pull the twist you had in your hair out of your face. They snapped straight back into place but you didn't care. You wanted all of them to know you were hurt. "I buried my baby girl. She had toes and fingers and I was about 4 months along according to the doctor. I- I named her Ruby and she could have been beautiful. She could of been happy but instead she's dead, and I hope you all got what you wanted."

With a shaky voice you moved to close the door but before you could a foot was placed in the door. "Y/n wait. Hear us out. Please. Can you let us in? I 'ave some letters from the boys and Finn. They miss their Auntie N/n." John begged weakly, but he knew the effect it had on you. Sniffles left you as slowly opened the door and looked at said letters in John's hand. Snatching them from him and turning around to walking into your home, you missed the weak reassuring smile John gave his family as they stepped in.

The first letter belonged to Finn and as you sat down on your couch you smiled at the mess handwriting of the teenage boy, before you left you were teaching him how to read and write after all. As you opened the letter you could feel the seat next to you sink as Tommy sat, while putting a cigarette in his mouth. "No Tommy."

A sigh escaped him and Pol as they put their cigarettes away and watched you read the first letter with a wet laugh. Finn was your favorite of the Shelby brothers, that much they all knew. He was kind after all and as the Sunflower of Small Heath everyone knew you valued that in a person. When you finished the letter from Finn you moved onto letters from John's kids. They were all short, written by Pol, and asking if you'll come back and reading each one made your heart ache. "I miss all of them so much as well. Not a day goes by without me thinking of them."

"Then come back. We need you." Arthur said softly. There was an edge to his voice you didn't like though, staring into his eyes a frown traveled across your face as realization struck and the sight of faint scars on his neck

"Oh Arthur.." You said softly as you placed the letters down. Standing up you moved to kneel in front of him as you cupped his face gently. Even though you were all adults now you could always read the Shelbys emotions easily. Under your fingers you could feel his pulse hammering against you. "You're hurting. Aren't you?"

A whimper escaped him and just like that you were in his arms as he spoke softly, "It's me 'ead Y/n. I-I"

"Shh.. Fine. You win. I'll be back one day. But for now, let me make you tea. Its with my herbs. The shit doctors give you won't work like my stuff does." You said softly, running your fingers through Arthur's greasy hair. Arthur let you go as he wiped his tears and you stood leaving for the kitchen

"Ain't that right.." Tommy mumbled under his breath as he took out cigarettes again. Hitting the match against the box he lit his cig to life and took a long drag of it. Polly glance at him as he offered a cigarette to her and with hesitation she took a drag from it as well. "Y/n? Did you mean it when you said you'll come back?"

"Yes. Unlike you Tommy I'm not heartless. And I miss the little ones. Finn should be about 15 right now and Ada's little one should be 4 or 5. And Johns kids should be around 6 to 10." You listed as you started the water. "Would anyone else like some tea?"

"Whiskey for me and Tommy please." Aunt Polly said as she took another drag from the cig before handing it back to Tommy, who moved to stand by your fireplace.

"Sorry, I don't keep whiskey or liquor of any kind in my house. Nor do I allow smoking Tommy." You said smoothly as you glanced over your shoulder. "Put it out."

Tommy groaned and knocked on the fireplace a few times before taking one last drag a rubbing the cig against the bricks. Unknown to him, he alerted the twins that it was time to come out. Everything happened in slow motion and the fireplace moved causing Tommy to stumble and the boys to squeeze out with their empty plates. All eyes were on them and the sitting family members all stood as the looked at the two boys that stared straight into their father's eyes. With your back turned to them all in the kitchen you gathered the herbs you needed for Arthur's tea without a clue of what was going on behind you. "Arthur? Do you want any sugar in your tea?"

"M-mommy.." came Charles soft voice. You turned around quickly and looked at your two boys as they stared at their father in fear. Kenji stood in front of his brother protectively despite being horrified of the tall man in front of him. "Mama!"

Tears pooled in both of their eyes but Charles is the one that started bawling. Rushing over to them you gathered them both in your arms as they cried and kissed both of their heads as you lifted them up. "Its OK. Mommy's here. Now let's put you down for a nap. You two did so well in the bunker."

"Y/n. Who are they?" came Tommy's shaky voice and the thought of you moving on from him and being the mother of someone else's kids.

"The two that survived the bullet I took for you." You said without hesitation. Aunt Polly covered her mouth in shock while Arthur and John looked at each other and then Tommy, and you.

"Jesus Tom! 3!? At once!?"

You didn't dare turn around, you didn't want to see their faces. They haven't even been here an hour and yet everything you worked so hard to hide is unraveling. “You never answered my question, how did you find me?”

“Soloman. How do you know ‘im?” Tommy said as his steps got closer. Knowing you wont get out of this you glanced at Polly with pleading eyes, causing her to let out a sigh and place her hand on Tommy’s shoulder.

“Tommy, let's wait and give her a few minutes to get those two up stairs before you start a fight.” Aunt Pol said softly as she led Tommy back to the couches to sit down. But Tommy nudged her hand off of his shoulder and took a step closer to you, his patience running thin as you kept your hold on them.

“No. I'm tired of waiting. Y/n answer my question, now.” Tommy hissed out in annoyance. Charles sniffled and buried his face in your neck his eyes full of tears as Kenji glared at Tommy, eyes just as full of tears.

“‘nside ‘oice!” Kenji called back with a shaky voice, his dislike for Tommy at the moment was clear as day. Arthur chuckled and patted Tommy on his shoulder as you walked toward the stairs.

“‘e’s definitely your son Tommy. Looked ‘bout ready tah fight ya too, all for ‘is mum. What are their names?” Arthur teased. Biting your lip you didn't answer, instead you shifted them in your arms and made your way up the stairs carefully, whispering sweet nothings to them as you did so. You didn't need to ask your boys how they felt. That much was obvious to you as their heads moved on your shoulders to stare at Tommy as you walked, they didn't like the way he talked to you. Once you made it to their shared room next to yours you placed them in their beds and kissed their heads after wiping their tears.

“Nap time boys. If you need Mommy I’ll be down stairs. Don't hesitate to call me if you need something ok?” you said softly as you brushed their curls from their face and kissed them again. “Mommy loves you.”

Giving the boys one last look you closed the door behind you as the got under their comforters. Once you were back down the sound of the kettle going off lead you to the kitchen. “Would anyone else like some tea?”

Polly’s voice came immediately as she smiled at the thought, “The sleepy-time mixture that you used to make every morning for me! I have yet to taste anything as good as yours.” She loved your tea after all. Even though they couldn't see, you nodded anyway as you prepared two separate tea pot, one with Arthur’s mixture and one with Polly’s. When you opened the cupboard you grabbed one of your matching set of 5 and placed it on the tray with the pots of tea, carrying everything into, including some cookies. Placing the tray down on the coffee table, you poured some Arthur his cup first and handed it to him, careful not to spill the hot liquid. Silence was all that could be heard through the home you owned after serving tea to those who wanted it. “You didn't have to take them upstairs you know.”

“Knowing Arthur, Tommy and their… colorful vocabulary I felt like that was the best choice.” You teased softly as you lent back into your seat and crossed your legs, taking a careful sip from your tea. “But never mind that, why did you come searching for me? Why are you all here and what do you want?”

“We need you to comeback.” Tommy said shamelessly. “We’ve grown our business in the past 3 years and now were the third largest bookkeepers. We plan on expanding to London with the help of the Soloman as well.”

“It sounds like you’ve got everything all planned out and know what to do. So what do you need me and herbs-” you rebuked only to get cut off by John as he decided to pour himself a cup of tea.

“Cut the bullshit Y/n, You’re one of the focking best -no, THE focking best- weapon maker we know. Even though Tommy wont admit it, everyone else will when I say you're irreplaceable. We need you back.” John explained clearly.

“I stopped doing that after the boys were born. The only inventions I have left and haven't sold are in the basement.”

“Wait you sold your weapons!? The same ones you made just for the Peaky Blinders?”

“Of course I did. You think making this house with all these secret entrances and paths was free? I sold my old invention from back when I was teen and some newer ones. I do miss weapon making but at the same time I don't. Coming up with new ideas and actually testing them out cost a lot money. And that money I rather use on my baby boys.” you scoffed. Tommy stood up, rubbing his hand down his face as he groaned in frustration. Your inventions were top of the charts, never before seen, easy to hide the use of, conceal and use. And knowing that other people all around London had it in their possession made this process a lot harder. “If it makes you feel any better Tommy the only gang I’ve sold huge loads to was Alfie. He helped me a lot when I was pregnant, even got me workers to build this very house since no one I went to wanted to work for me. So if any of the expansion shit hurts his business in any way I hope you know what you're getting into.”

“Fine. Fine… Fuck. We can work this out. We just need to go back home, have a family meeting and make a plan.” Tommy grumbled as he began to pace back and forth.

“We? No. No. No Tommy. There is no WE in this, not any more. This is your problem. Not mine or my sons.”

“Our sons, Y/n.”

“I said what I said, and I meant it. They're my sons.”

Tommy rolled his eyes and turned to look at you with cold blue eyes of annoyance. He must of thought this would all be easy, but hell hath no fury like a protective mother. “Y/n, now's not the time to argue. We need you back at Small Heath. I need you back.”

“I thought Thomas Shelby needed no one but himself. What changed that? What changed you?” you mocked, causing Polly to take a large gulp of her tea, holding back her laughter as she watched the two of you interact. You were the only person she knew that would step to Tommy, win, and repeat the cycle over and over again. It was amusing to her no matter how old the two of you were. You were a spitfire and a beautiful girl, looks and smarts perfectly dangerous together and you knew it. Polly was the only one watching and listening though as she drank her tea, John and Arthur were too busy stuffing their faces with your cookies at an alarming rate. It was a wonder how they haven't choked yet. Both men stared at each other as a grabbed more cookies and shoved them into their mouths, causing you to roll your eyes. “If I were you I’d slow down. You might choke.”

“Things change Y/n, I changed ok? Now are you coming back or not.” he huffed out, towering over you as he stood at your feet. Your head tilted to the side and you switched the position of your crossed legs as you took a sip from your cup.

“If I come back with you, if I get back with you, you have everything to gain. My home, my inventions, my herbs, my sales, my intellect, my money, and most importantly my sons and I. There's nothing for me with you, Tommy. Nothing but more heartbreak.”

Tommy opened his mouth and then closed it, realizing you were right. A growl escaped him as he threw the only thing in his hand into the fire place, which was the tea cup. The sound of it breaking caused you to jump slightly but you didn't bat an eye. Tension began to rise as you stared into each other's eyes, neither of you backing down. Polly- seeing the way you gripped your tea cup- decided to cut in to calm things down.

“Your sons Y/n, their beautiful. So unique as well, as expected of you, so beautifully different.” she praised with a wide smile as she placed her empty cup down to pour more. At the mention of your sons, you smiled widely and broke eye contact with Tommy who was still fuming.

“They are.” you gushed immediately, a wide yet soft smile traveling across your face as you thought of them. “They love chocolate milk and yoga and they're so protective of each other it's absolutely adorable! They talk in sync sometimes and their laugh! Oh god their laugh, it's just Tommy’s back when we were kids! You should see all the pictures I have of them as babies!” tension began to dwindle as you continued to gush about your sons. But the elephant in the room only seemed to grow bigger.

“What are their names? I ask yah before but yous never answered.”

“Oh! Sorry.” you giggled softly as you drank from your cup finishing the last of your tea, placing it down on the coaster only for Tommy to take it and fill it up with tea from Arthur’s pot. “It’s Charles and Kenji. But I call them Charlie and Kenny. They don't like loud sound that much either.”

“Y-You kept the names.” Tommy said barely above a whisper, almost as a question as he looked at you incredulously. “You kept the names.” his voice was stronger that time but the smell of his cologne was stronger as he embraced you, placing a sudden kiss your lips causing you to melt into his arms. You weren't nearly as over him as you thought, it seemed. “You’re coming home.”

“No Tommy. Not yet at least. If I come back it's on my terms, not yours. I already agreed to come back. Now you just have to wait.”

“My wife and kids aren't going to be away from me Y/n. You're coming home and that's fina-”

“When are you going to understand that this is my home. I built it from scratch and I’m not leaving.”

“I'm not leaving you here.”

“This isn't Small Heath Tommy. I can make my own decisions and I don't need you hovering. I don't need you dictating my life. This is my house, my home, and it was made with my money. You have no authority here.”

No one said a word, Tommy still had you in his arms you still didn’t pull away. Tommy clenched and unclenched his jaw as he stared into your blazing eye. He nodded his head a few times and for once you thought the fighting was over. “Fine. Arthur, you're driving. Aunt Pol, John can you get the boys?”

“Get the boys? Tommy you are not taking my kids from me!” you hissed, squirming in his arms ad you tried to get free of his grasp. His arms moved down to hold your waist and in one swift movement Tommy was standing and you were thrown over his shoulder. “TOMMY! PUT ME DOWN!”

“You're right, I’m not taking our kids from you, Y/n. I'm taking all of you with me. But since I’m feeling nice and you said there were weapons in the basement this will be our holiday home for next month.” Tommy said, completely unfazed by your yelling and kicking as Polly and John hesitated to get the sleeping boys upstairs. You were still in your robe as you thrashed around in Tommy’s arms and knowing that it was getting you nowhere you sighed and resorted to kicking. But before you could get good kick in Tommy’s free arm held your legs in place. When John and Polly came back down the boys were still asleep as they carried them.

“What about the tea and biscuits?”

“Forget the fucking tea and biscuits John. She can make some more when we get home. Aunt Pol’s been taking care of her plants for the longest now.”

“Tommy! Put me down! This is kidnapping!” you hissed lowly, not wanting to wake your boys up, but your words fell on deaf ears. Tommy’s hand was perched on your ass as you continued to squirm around furiously, but a slap on your ass caused you to gasp and still. “Tommy!” John was behind everyone and the last one to leave the house. Since the key to the house was in the foyer he locked the door behind everyone, careful not to wake Kenji. “You can't seriously be kidnapping me and my kids right! Aunt Pol! Are you really ok with this!? I thought you were the voice of reason of the Shelbys! Y’all can't be serious right now! I’M NOT DRESSED! I'M INDECENT!” you pleaded, but Tommy’s grip on you tighten and Arthur opened the car door.

“As long as you sit still you wont get exposed. And if someone does look at you that isn't family, as your husband I have the right to kill them.” Tommy said smoothly as he sat you in the back with him. Polly gently held Charles up for Tommy to pick up, and then he passed Charles to you. You held the sleeping Charles close to you and kissed his forehead as you glared at the male next to you.

“You kill anyone and my boys see it and I’m cutting off your dick Thomas Shelby. You're on thin ice.” a chuckle escaped the man as he took Kenji from John. With his son in his arms Tommy was able to observe the similarities between him and the toddler. His eyebrows were dark and similarly shaped, and even with his eyes closed Tommy could remember the deep blue that Kenji had in his right eye. The boy on his lap was 33% of the proof that you loved him. The other 66% being Charles and Ruby. He was the lucky one. Not the other way around like he always thought. You were smart, loyal, funny, and an amazing inventor as well. He didn't want to think about how wrong he did you, because then he’d end up hating himself even more than he already does. With Charles in your lap, your arms held him protectively as he began to stir. Glaring at the Shelbys around you the thing that calmed you down was when Charles snuggled closer into you. And at the same time Kenji did the same to Tommy, causing his heart to clench and Tommy to hold him tighter, afraid that this was all a figment of his imagination and the worst nightmare he could ever have. The one where his brain shows him everything he’s thought about, everything he’s wanted to have with you. Only for the shoves to start again, just like they did when you left.

But instead, Tommy kissed Kenji’s freckled cheek when he thought no one was looking, being a lot more gentle with the boys than you expected him to be, almost making you happy to be near him again, almost.

“Mama?” came a soft voice from below you. Your dark eyes met the heterochromatic brown and blue of Charles eyes and you smiled.

“Yes Charlie?”

“Are ‘e living wif Daddy nows?”

You knew Tommy heard him and Tommy knew you knew as well. Out of the corner of your eye you could see him watching you, waiting for your response, but you didn't directly look at him. You both knew what your answer was going to be without you even having to say it, Tommy’s smug smile only proved so.

“For now? Yes baby. But just for now. We wouldn't want the chickens to feel lonely now would we?” you whispered back causing a chuckle to escape Tommy. Having enough of his shit you kicked him in the shin, careful not to disturb your sons. Now it was your turn to chuckle as Tommy bit his lip to hold in the sound of pain. Polly laughed softly at the face Tommy was making, and to save himself from further embarrassment he shifted the attention away from him.

“You ‘ear that Johnny boy? She has chickens! Maybe you should take her home instead.” Tommy teased with a smile. John rolled his eyes but the smile on his face was apparent as Tommy laughed, tilting his head back in the process. The same laugh he passed onto your sons came out of him, and if anyone asked you would deny the fact that it was calming to hear. “Now we have to come back, wouldn't want the chickens to starve either.”

Charles fell back asleep in your arms without another word as Kenji’s thumb rested in his mouth. The way their eyes fluttered was a tell told tale to you that they were in a deep sleep. Allowing you the chance to finally speak your mind. “You know. You all have a lot of fucking nerve to come searching for me and then take me from, excuse my language but, my goddamned home. And you have even more nerve that if you think for a second that I’ll just turn over and do what ever the fuck you say. Tommy for one, you look like shit and that tells me just how much control you have over all the shit you've caused. Who the fuck did you double cross this time you bloody idiot.-”

“Ahh, and there she is. It was weird not hearing you curse.” Polly cut you off with a soft chuckle as she lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out away from you and the boys.

“You're all inconsiderate jackasses sometimes, you know that? I have two toddlers to take care of and yet you still want to drag me into this. Tell when the people that hurt you Tommy, did they go after anyone else? Who died? Who got hurt?” you asked calmly, your voice betraying how you actually felt. But even as you ranted, your eyes never left the figures of your sons. “It’s been three years but it seems like the only one who has changed is me. And now you wanna drag me into all of this to solve the mess you made. Well guess what, if you think I’m going to forgive you and come crawling back you have another thing coming Thomas Shelby. I loved you with all my heart and the only thing I got in return was a bullet and a broken heart. So how about for once in your goddamn life you take responsibility for the mess you've made and clean it up yourself, cause I’m not making you shit other than tea.”

“Y/n-”

“Save it Tommy. I dont need to hear any more of your fucking empty promises.” you hissed as you throat tightened and your eyes became glossy.

“Y/n please don't cry..”

“How can I not Polly? He cheated on me. He broke my heart. I watched him fall out of love with me and in love with someone else. I know I’m not pale, blonde, not extra skinny or dripping with femininity like she was. But I didn't think it would matter, because I loved you Tommy and I thought you loved me. I gave you everything I had to fucking offer and even that wasn't enough for you. Because you're never fucking satisfied Thomas Shelby.”

‘Y/n please..” Tommy mumbled as he shifted Kenji on his lap. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, scared that if he moved you’ll cry even more. Pol watched with sad eyes, but didn't say anything, it wasn't her place after all.

“I gave you everything I had and it wasn't enough… No, because instead you fell for the barmaid spy. The same one that ratted you out. And even after finding out what she did. Even after I took that bullet for you, the same bullet that killed my baby and almost killed me, you spent the night with her. I-I- I can't forgive you for that and I never will Tommy. And if it wasn't for these two sleeping angel that I gave birth to alone, none of this would be happening. My boys deserve the chance to know you, and to love you. The same way I loved you. And if they choose to hate you instead that will be no one’s fault but your own.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Tommy finally said after a minute of tense silence.

“It means you have a week. That’s how long you have before I take my sons back home. Because at the end of the day the barmaid may have tempted you but she’s not the one that said ‘I do’ at the altar. Nope, that was you Thomas Shelby and now because of that I love you just as much as I hate you.”

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ducktracy · 4 years

Text

146. don’t look now (1936)

release date: november 7th, 1936

series: merrie melodies

director: tex avery

starring: tex avery (egbert), berneice hansell (cathleen, bear cubs), tommy bond (devil, cupid cuckoo bird), martha wentworth (woman woodpecker), billy bletcher (devil cuckoo bird)

the first of quite a few cartoons where tex avery has supplied his own voice. the only other directors i can think of who have done voices in cartoons are bob clampett (who was also the source of the famous BEOWIP/BOIP sound effects) and cal howard (who would voice gabby in clampett’s get rich quick porky. ironically, tex avery would supply his laugh in a cal howard and cal dalton cartoon, porky’s phoney express.) regardless—it’s valentine’s day, and cupid is itching to do some matchmaking. but, as isaac newton taught us, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. in this case, a little devil is the opposite reaction, ready to break some hearts.

it’s valentine’s day, as indicated by a valentine card popping up on the screen reading “will you be my valentine?” fade to a beautiful layout of dan cupid’s humble abode, a fittingly heart shaped home, mailbox... even the butterflies flittering about have noticeably heart shaped wings. the interior is no different than the exterior: cupid’s asleep in his heart shaped bed, when a heart shaped cuckoo bird pops out of a heart shaped cuckoo clock, calling “time’s a-wastin’!”

cupid wakes up in an instant and bounds over to his exposed shower (reminiscent of a chemical shower in your local biology lab), quickly dousing himself one water and toweling off. he pulls his arrow holder out from the umbrella stand, tearing off a page of the calendar. “well! st. valentine’s day! my big day!” a cute and clever visual as cupid heads outside, right to his garden, where rows of arrows sprout up from the soil. cupid grabs his lawn mower and makes his way across the field, the arrows neatly piling into his holster over his head.

a good bit of personality is exuded as cupid prepares for the big day with some target practice. first, he shoves a pile of playing cards inside a toaster. he pulls the lever down with his foot, and as he engages in his airborne game of 52 pickup, he shoots numerous arrows at the cards, pinning them all against a tree in the shape of a heart, with an ace of hearts right in the middle. to further display some naïve pride (bordering cockiness), cupid fires an arrow through a hole in the tree, the arrow curving and returning to him through a hollow log. placing an apple on his head in the meantime, cupid still manages to hit his target successfully. and for good measure, he engages in a quick round of a duck shooting carnival game. he pings all of his wooden ducks down in an instant, save for one, who panics and attempts to flee the arrow. nevertheless, he too gets hit. an amusing gag with a good balance of cute and funny. satisfied, cupid embarks, leaving a sign on his front gate that reads GONE HUNTING.

meanwhile, we have a very clever parallel with a strong sense of juxtaposition. now focus on a little devil cherub, whose house is almost exactly like cupid’s, though adorned with foreboding, “evil” furniture, including an asbestos pillow. his cuckoo clock, a boiler, opens up to reveal a billy bletcher voiced bird who announces “crime marches on!” the devil awakens and hops out of his bed, which is actually one giant frying pan (or burner, or grill, or whatever you want to call it.) he too takes a shower, bathing in the cool, refreshing red hot flames pouring out of the shower head. already the parallels are humorous and clever, heightened by how obvious they are. the devil repeats the same calendar shtick as cupid, declaring “well! st. valentine’s day! my big day!” outside, the devil’s mood isn’t nearly as cheery as cupid. he scoffs at the audience, kicking a line of cans with malice as he trudges along. “aw, this valentine day gag is the bomb! love, kisses, sweethearts, sissy stuff!”

regardless of opinion on valentine’s day, it’s undeniable that love is in the air, as displayed by two flirtatious turtles, the guy begging for the girl’s affection. thankfully, cupid is just around the corner. cupid launches into “don’t look now”, detailing about how happy lovebirds will be once struck with his fated arrows. while the doting turtle is in the midst of a maurice chevalier impression, his girl gets struck by cupid’s arrow, and suddenly reciprocates his feelings, literally diving into the frontside of the turtle’s shell. smooth and highly amusing animation as the two turtles swing around together in one turtle shell envelope, picking up the lyrics. a gag that would be similarly used to a higher degree in tortoise wins by a hare, the two lovebirds walk side by side in the shell, both going inside and popping out the other end, now walking on their hands, their heads sticking out where their tail(s) should be and their legs where the head(s) should be. very smooth and subtle animation. i’m not too great with my animator indemnifications this early, but i’d guess chuck jones animated this scene, seeing how fluid it is.

jolly little cupid sings a few more bars, when the devil joins in, ready to spread his own love. two yokel bears bashfully dote on a log, ripe for the devil’s picking. the male bear (named egbert), voiced by tex avery, guffaws “will ya—gosh, huh huh, will ya—“, interrupted by berneice hansell’s squeaky voice urging him to go on. just in time for the devil to swoop in, whispering in the girl’s ear: “will ya go sit on a tack, ya old horse face?”

it seems there was either a cut made here, or just a startlingly awkward transition as we jump cut to the devil laughing, the woman and the log out of screen. “i’ve got something here that’ll fix these lovesick mugs! take a gander at this!” the devil takes off his bowler hat and shows off the inside contents: blonde hairs, lipstick, bobby pins, and even a garter, all tucked away in little pouches pinned inside the hat. delightfully scandalous and just a great premise in general.

elsewhere, a woodpecker knocks on the door of a quaint little tree home (with his beak, of course.) out steps a lady woodpecker (presumably his wife), to which the husband holds up a card, nudging his sweetie. “hey, how do ya like to be my valentine, kiddo?” “do ya mean it?” “yes, i mean it!” the wife looks at the audience. “should i tell him?” just then, the devil pops up behind the man’s shoulder, gingerly placing a strand of blonde hair on his coat. the giant, oval shaped eyes of the devil give this scene away as bob clampett animation. the lovebirds embrace... but not for long. the wife takes note of the hair and grows rightfully furious, throwing a barrage of pots and pans at her double crossing husband. cupid happens to be strolling by, noticing the clamor. a simple fire of the arrow and the wife is back to her loving self, both woodpeckers happily kissing as they repeatedly peck each others beaks with hilarious speeds (and great jackhammer sound effects), so powerful that both of their beaks become bent and crumpled.

cupid’s next victim is a forlorn skunk, moping on a tree trunk. cupid pings her with his arrow, and in no time the little skunk is as giddy as ever. she saunters up to the local stand selling valentines, cooing “hello boys!” in an instant, the crowd disperses, leaving the poor skunk all to herself. tex avery would base a whole cartoon on the unsuccessful love lives of skunks with his short lil ‘tinker at MGM in 1948. to gain the affections of the girls, ‘tinker puts on his best frank sinatra impression, and the bobbysoxers swarm in droves.

back to egbert, the hayseed bear who desperately attempts to woo back his snooty girlfriend cathleen, strutting by with her nose in the air while he insist she’s got him in the wrong. cupid comes to the rescue once more, pinging both bears with his arrows. timing is hilariously succinct as they both pause a beat, dumbfounded, and then instantly exclaim “LET’S GET MARRIED!” with that, they rush away to prepare for the big celebration.

after a time card that simply states “so—“, egbert strolls up to the front door of cathleen’s house, now donning a snazzy suit. he knocks on the door. “are ya ready, sweetie?” “just a minute!” cathleen may not be ready, but the devil sure is. he goes full out, tossing hairs, garters, bobby pins, lipstick marks, you name it. cathleen opens the door, sporting her wedding dress, when she finds her husband to be decked in every scandalous clue imaginable. a closeup reveals even more dirty yet fantastic details: panty hose, burlesque tickets, a phone number, a garter, and a face covered in lipstick. the entire situation is amplified in humor as egbert is completely unaware of his appearance. cathleen prepares to wallop egbert over the head with her bouquet, but another arrow from an offscreen cupid sends her down on egbert instead, practically sucking his face off.

the devil is absolutely fed up with cupid’s meddling. “aw, hey, what’s the gag of ruining my fun!? ya sissy!” he three stooges (i’m coining that as a verb now) cupid, poking him in the eyes and slapping him silly, picking him up above his head and twirling him around before slamming him to the ground and sitting on top, pulling cupid’s leg as he cries out in pain. in retaliation, cupid fashions the devil’s tail like an arrow, shooting him with his bow and sending the devil flying into a tree, who curses at cupid incomprehensibly. his work now done, cupid leaves the devil to his miserable, temperamental self.

to quote hank williams, wedding bells are ringing in the chapel as egbert and cathleen march into the church, surrounded by a doting crowd. just as they stroll down the aisle, the devil is finally able to dislodge his tail from the tree, ready to spark mischief. he approaches two kids outside of the church, bribing them each with lollipops. “okey dokey. now, here’s your candy. all you gotta do is go in the church and say...”

we cut to the inside of the church before getting the full gist of the devil’s bribe, which is a lovely choice in set up. the officiator is asking the audience for any objections, while egbert shakes terribly, his legs knocking together in panic. even the organ is silent. no objections. content, egbert and cathleen exchange warm smiles, going in for the kiss, when...

“daddy! daddy! daddy!” the two little bear cubs from before bound into the church, jumping right into a befuddled egbert’s arms. all bets are off on the wedding as cathleen storms out, dismissively throwing the bouquet in egbert’s face. a lovely detail as he still attempts to catch it hopelessly. the devil is absolutely thrilled, laughing in hysterics at his best job yet. unfortunately, he’s finally beat by his nemesis: cupid fires an arrow at the devil, and he too is struck with the love bug, his sour demeanor now replaced as he giddily floats along, grinning in a giant self parody of himself. what i love about tex’s cartoons is that everything feels like a parody of itself. it’s one extreme or the other.

for the final time, cathleen is zinged again with cupid’s arrow, and she rushes back to egbert, kissing him and dragging him back in the church. activities are resumed as normal, the officiator going on like before. “i now pronounce you... uh oh.” he dives into a nearby pew, everyone turning their heads to see what the matter is. no time is wasted as everyone else takes cover, too. now donning a top hat and bib, the devil strolls down the aisle with the little lonely skunk from before. iris out.

a very entertaining cartoon that takes a little while to get momentum, but once it’s there it’s certainly there. it’s not too often you find a valentine’s day cartoon at warner bros (the only other one i can think of is frank tashlin’s the stupid cupid.) this certainly is a non traditional take, and a very good one at that. the scandalous humor was the best part of the short, whether it be the devil decking out egbert in garters and blonde hairs, or convincing two little kids to shout “daddy! daddy!” in the church. while the beginning was a bit slow, the parallels make up for it, and at least contribute some added interest. in all, a cartoon that’s worth watching, especially for the second half.

link!

#lt #don’t look now #reviews #long post #avery

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scarlvtbitch · 5 years

Text

Love Story

Pairing: Gilbert Blythe x fem!reader

Description: This will be a multi chapter fic about the reader and Gilbert. The reader is new to Avonlea but she has a very fierce personality. She doesn’t take anything from anyone. What will happen when this fiery soul meets Gilbert Blythe?

It had been a long tiring day, or a tiring weekend. After two whole days, you and your mother had finally finished moving and organizing your belongings. You were just dreading one thought. School. Oh, how you hated the idea of having to talk to anyone. You were more of a loner. You didn’t really like having a lot of friends and thought everyone your age was immature and way too annoying for you. Thankfully, this was your senior year. As if reading your mind, your mother asked,

“Are you excited for school tomorrow, Y/N?”

“No.” you bluntly replied. Your mother sighed.

“Y/N, I know that you pretty much don’t like anything or anyone-

“That’s not true. I like dogs.” You smirked

“-but at least try, for me.”

You sighed in defeat. “Alright mother.” You said their goodnights and parted ways. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

Morning came and you really weren’t much of a breakfast girl, especially when you were so anxious, so you just grabbed an apple and headed out. Thankfully your house was pretty close to the school so that was pretty convenient for you. As you made your way, you heard footsteps crunching on the leaves.You furrowed your eyebrows and turned around to get a glance of who was there. You saw a boy who looked about your age, he was tall and had blonde hair.

“Who are you?”

“I’ll tell you my name, if you tell me yours.” Each word he said, he took a step closer.

“Look, I’m not interested in playing your stupid games. Leave me alone, you freak.” You shoved him away from you.

“Oh, you’re not getting away that easy.” He muttered. He grabbed your wrist and you were about to kick him in the groin when you heard another boy’s voice.

“Billy!”

The blonde boy, which you assumed his name was Billy, let go of your wrist and backed away from you. Your eyes slightly widened, it seemed like Billy was afraid of this boy. He was too far for you to recognize the boy but he stepped closer and you saw a better look of him. He was taller than you, had dark curly hair, pale skin and brown eyes.

“Gilbert! It’s been awhile.”

“Sure has. I would love to catch up but we can’t be tardy. Miss Stacy sure hates that. We should probably get to school, eh?”

“Yeah,” the blonde boy cleared his throat, “I was just on my way.”

After watching him disappear in the trees, the brown haired boy looked at you and took a step closer.

“Are you alright, Miss?”

“Yeah.” You replied dryly. You ignored his presence and walked right by him.

“You’re welcome.” He silently said. Not so silent that you were able to hear him. You’ve never turned around so fast in your life. Your cheeks were heating by now.

“Are you kidding me? I was doing just fine without you. I didn’t need any saving.” She harshly replied. “Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna go to class.” You started walking, again.

“Need anything else? Any dragons around here need slaying?” He teased. Oh, he enjoyed making you mad. But you weren’t going to give him that pleasure. Without turning around, you obviously couldn’t stay quiet so you snapped at him.

“I can slay them myself, thanks!” You said loud enough for him to hear.

“Hey, who are you?” Even if you were distant from each other, you were still able to hear him, you just decided to ignore him. He caught up pretty quick, though. Wow that boy can run.

“Who are you?” he repeated.

“Who are you?”

“ I asked first.” he replied.

“I asked second.” You insisted.

“You’re pretty stubborn, aren’t you?”

“One of my many amazing qualities.” You smiled.

“Alright, you win. I’m Gilbert. Gilbert Blythe.”

“I’m Y//N Y/L/N.”

“That’s a beautiful name. I’ve never heard it.”

“Another one of my amazing qualities. I told you I had many.” Gilbert let out a chuckle and he gave you a small smile.

“We’re here.” He said.

“This is...small.”

“Sure is. Bet you’re excited about meeting everyone.”

“Not really. I’m more of a loner girl. People aren’t really my thing.”

“I’m shocked.” He teased. You rolled your eyes.

Gilbert raced to the door to open the door for you. You muttered a thanks. When you got in, you noticed a group of girls on the left side of the room staring at you. You simply ignored them. You didn’t come here to be liked. So their opinion of you didn’t really matter. Gilbert stopped you and turned you towards him.

“What?” You asked, annoyed. He kept staring at you, as if your face was covered in gold.

“Nothing, just-”

“GILBERT!” A group of boys yelled and pulled him in for a hug. So, he’s pretty liked.

You took a quick glance to where all the girls were seated. You saw a red haired girl sitting down, writing what looked like a story. You chose to sit next to her. Before you could finish setting down your things she opened her mouth,

“Hi! Are you new? What a silly question, I’ve never seen you here so of course you are. What’s your name? My name’s Anne. But please make sure to spell it with an “E”. It’s much less boring that way. Where are you from? Oh, dear I’m not letting you speak. I’m oh so very sorry about that. I’m kind of like that.” Even if she was the total opposite of you and very annoying, you couldn’t help but like her.

“I’m Y/N. But you can call me Y/N/N.”

“Oh, what a marvelous name. So very enchanting, indeed.”

“You use a lot of big words, don’t you?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. It’s become such a habit.”

“It’s okay.” You slightly smiled. “I like that.” The bell rang and who you assumed was the teacher passed by you. She was a.. she? You smirked and you were secretly jumping up and down with glee. Never in your school years have you had a teacher who was a woman. You were so happy at seeing stupid rules starting to change. Everyone sat down in silence.

“Good morning everyone!” she said cheerfully, “it looks like we have a new student with us today.” Oh no. Introductions were the worst thing ever. You hated being on the spotlight. “What’s your name, Miss…”

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

“I’m Miss Stacy. It’s really good to have you here. I hope that you like it here.” You smiled and nodded.

After the first two lessons finished, lunch time came. Finally. You grabbed your food and headed outside to sit in the corner with the fewer people. While you were eating, the same girls who were staring at you when you came in, were heading towards you. Great.

“What were you doing with Gilbert Blythe?” A blonde girl shouted..

“Something called walking together. You know, its when people move their legs in order to get from one place to another-”

“This isn’t a joke!”

“Oh, believe me I’m dead serious. Why are-”

“You can’t talk to him! You can’t even look at him. Ruby has dibs. She’s liked him for over three years.” You laughed.

“You’re joking right? Look, sunshine nobody tells me what to do. Besides he isn’t an object for you to claim. If you like him, you’re just going to have to ask him out and if he says no then your so called dibs were for nothing.”

“If you get close with him again, you’ll regret it.”

“Oh, I’m so scared.” You mockingly said. You grabbed your things and walked away from them while the girl was still talking.

“This conversation isn’t over. I’m not done talking.”

“But I am!” You shouted and smirked. This was going to be fun.

When you found a rock to sat on so you could finally eat your lunch in peace, you heard footsteps. You groaned. Not again.

“You again? I told you I’m going to talk to whoever I want-” When you turned around to see who it was, you were greeted with brown eyes and a warm smile instead.

“I don’t remember saying that.”

“Oh, I thought you were that blonde girl.” You pointed at her when you saw them in a corner spying on you.

“Josie can be..”

“Annoying? Intolerable? Rude? Yeah I got that.”

“What were they saying to you anyway?”

“The dumbest thing ever. They told me that I need to stay away from you and that I can’t talk to you. Or even look at you. I don’t know why anybody would want to.” You teased.

“Ha-ha very funny. It’s not my fault I’m so charming with my looks.”

“Keep dreaming, buddy.” You admitted to yourself that he was quite handsome though, but you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing. “Anyways, I told them that I will talk to whoever I want. Nobody tells me what to do.” His eyes looked at you in awe, as if he’d never seen someone so..strong and fierce. You stared into each others eyes which felt like hours. You were the first one to break away from his stare. You took a sip of your milk when Gilbert grabbed his satchel to take something out.

“Here.” he pulled out an apple and offered it to you, “I thought you might like one. They’re fresh from our orchard?” You accepted the apple and took a bite of it.

“Our?” You asked while chewing. Some would think it was improper for a lady but you never cared of what anyone said. Gilbert slightly chuckled at how cute you looked.

“Yeah. Me and my dad’s.”

“Someone having to tolerate you day and night. I pity him.” He simply rolled his eyes.

“Y/N, will you ever be able to say something nice about me?”

“We’ll see.” You gave him a small smile.

#gilbert blythe imagine #gilbert blythe x reader #gilbert blythe #anne with an e #awae imagines #awae #btw requests are open

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