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#i love all of y’all who aren’t toxic

hausofneptune · 4 months

Text

"spicy" takes / unpopular opinions

[astro notes no. 002]

IF IT DON’T APPLY LET IT FLY. everybody’s chart is different, if you have any aspects or placements mentioned in this post that don’t resonate with you, that means the energy didn’t manifest the way that i described due to other influences in your chart (or you being delusional, idk, you decide). also, when i speak on certain signs i'm referring to their archetype and the innate energy they express. just be mindful that there's a variety of ways these energies can manifest from person to person.

disclaimers | masterlist | ask

y’all stay talking about how hard scorpios have it but y’all don’t talk about the struggles capricorns face. especially capricorn moons?? have y’all ever encountered a capricorn moon that wasn’t in therapy or didn’t desperately need it??? they be facing the most insane level of emotional distress and then turn around and pick up more shifts and start studying harder like that shit finna help lmfao

the discourse surrounding 8H synastry is... odd to me. i feel like some people (specifically the tumblr/tiktok girlies) are romanticizing trauma bonding. y’all can talk about how good the sex is all y’all want, but unless you and the person involved have a good amount of self-awareness and are spiritually evolved enough (especially if y'all have your own 8H placements in your own charts), i feel like you’re just setting yourself up to be in a “toxic” relationship with somebody. it could just be my aqua venus talking, but the whole “baring your soul” to someone and developing a possessive/jealous bond with them don't sound fun to me. i would rather perish.

everyone talks about how dramatic your saturn return is but why does no one bring up how traumatic your 12H profection years are? being 23 was literally one of the most unhinged experiences i’ve ever had

i be tryna advocate for geminis because i know they’re just lil creative mercurial sponges and wanna have enough knowledge to see everything from every side… but why do some of them act like that? and you know what i mean. especially the more “unevolved” gemini placements, they be doing the most insane level of mental acrobatics and be contrarian just for the sake of being contrarian

i have to say this as an 8H moon, i understand what y’all mean when y’all say 8H, scorpio, and plutonian placements usually face a lot of vitriol from others for no reason, but honestly, some of y’all be using that as a justification for being paranoid and manipulative. operating from a place of pain, assuming that everybody is out to get you, and being hyper-vigilant of people’s intentions isn’t the type of behavior anyone should be trying to normalize. let that hurt go pookie <3

i feel like this has been spoken about before but i’ll never understand why water signs are constantly stereotyped as the emotional crybabies of the zodiac but fire signs aren’t? water signs can definitely be sensitive and existential but prominent fire placements will literally lose their mind over the smallest shit and then be cool 10 minutes later… yes i’m looking at you aries

speaking of aries, can we address the way that they’re literally the toddlers of the zodiac and very much so behave like it? idk as a pisces i have a soft spot for them, i love their childlike, carefree spirit, and the way they be throwing tantrums for fun tickles me

this note doesn’t pertain particularly to signs/placements but astrology in general. i am begging y’all (specifically the people who are newer/beginners to astrology) to use traditional studies as a starting point and to stop taking notes from these tiktoks and tumblr posts. there are astrologers on these platforms who have done the work and studied (love y'all), but there are a plethora who haven’t. i saw a post the other day where somebody said squares/oppositions don’t indicate conflict in a chart and i felt like i was losing my damn mind. i definitely recommend the astrology podcast as a starting point for beginners, chris brennan is amazing and i still find myself re-listening to a lot of his content

i talked to one of my mutuals the other day about this, but astrology is such an amazing tool, and y’all should use it for so much more than self-validation. y’all do not need to have a certain venus placement to be considered pretty. y'all do not need certain mercury or uranus placements to be considered intelligent/creative. y’all do not have to rely on [insert random asteroid here] to know what your future spouse is gonna look like, when/where y’all are gonna meet, how they’re gonna perceive you, etc. etc. etc. i understand the hype around shit like that is due to social conditioning/constructs, but there are so many more important, relevant things you can learn about yourself through astrology that don’t revolve around "aesthetics"

the girls are gonna hate me for this one, but i don’t understand the hype around lilith. and i say this as someone with a tight sextile between my sun and BML. there’s three versions of it, two of which don’t even technically exist, and then there’s a mean/true version that affects the accuracy. if anyone has more knowledge than me on the subject feel free to give me your input, because i feel like the insane amount of attention lilith gets has to do more with the whole “dark feminine archetype” trend that the tiktok/tumblr girlies love and less to do with its relevance from an astrology/astronomical lens (i feel this way about most asteroids honestly, but we’ll wake up that tea another time)

i don’t wanna get dragged so imma end this here, as always let me know if y’all have any aspects/placements mentioned and tell me how they manifest in your life/personality! and if you have any insight feel free to let me know as well. and don’t be messy. you will be blocked expeditiously. <3

click here to read part two!

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opennwindows · 7 months

Note

If you can, could I request BEN Drowned fluff / smut headcanons like about himself, with his headcanon age, hobbies, facts, what he is into or would like & want in a relationship, and what he would be like with a gamer girlfriend/ s/o?

If ya taking requests rn still?✨😇😊💖

Ben Drowned general + NSFW hcs

A/N: yes!! absolutely. i love getting to talk about how the pastas do their pastaing in my mind. i have so many headcanons for everyone that im excited to share!! also sorry i forgot to include the gamer gf part but i don't think it would change a lot of what i wrote!!

btw sorry for fucking dying i have been busy 😭😭 but no one worry i will still continue to work on requests!! if anyone has any marble hornets stuff they wanna request i will zoom you to the front of the queue so fucking quick. anyways enough of me yapping.

cw: 18+ nsfw, toxic relationships, crying kink,

GENERAL

ben is mentally and physically 22, but he can be quite emotionally immature at times. when he died he never stopped growing and maturing, his soul was just stuck in limbo. think like the worst waiting room ever.

he's surprisingly tall, standing at about 5'9. he's lanky but not bone thin. could easily get pretty far in a fight without his ghost powers.

the link costume only appears when he’s in his ghost form. so for example, when he’s messing with someone on their computer he’ll appear as the canon BEN we’re most familiar with. when he’s just chilling in his physical body, he mostly wears beat up hoodies and sweatpants.

contrary to popular belief, ben's not the hardcore gamer everyone thinks he is. sure, he'll play some overwatch or whatever when he's bored but he honestly just prefers to watch tv and browse the internet. understandably REFUSES to play any zelda games. if you were trapped in a video game for decades would you ever wanna touch it again? exactly.

ben loves to draw little comics and troll (see: horrifically traumatize) people online. god forbid you get into twitter beef with this man because he will crawl through your monitor at 3am and leave you with a crippling fear of technology. dude thinks it's absolutely hilarious. a true knee slapper.

lowkey has a sugar addiction. will slam down 4 cans of pepsi in one sitting. he's very lucky that he's basically a ghost because the kidney stones would be plentiful.

ROMANTIC

you know that guy with the blown out speakers in his car, lives off of energy drinks and burnt blue razz ice elfbars, swears aphex twin is the modern mozart and works on the grill at your local wendy’s? yeah thats ben. or at least would be him if he was still human.

“why would you need a chair, my lap is literally right here babe.”

would absolutely wear your skin if given the opportunity. not in a weird way. he’s just EXTREMELY touchy.

he needs someone who is significantly more organized and motivated than him. he can go almost a week without showering and it should honestly be considered biological warfare when he tries to smother you with affection during these episodes.

after awhile of you guys dating he LOVES the idea of y’all showering together. he has a fear of water and while showers aren’t too much of a trigger, your presence helps ease his anxiety.

favorite pet names: bro, dude, dawg, babe, bitch (non derogatory)

not really a romantic but he tries his best. a perfect date for him is just getting some takeout, watching youtube, talking about stupid shit and play fighting. if you want something more traditional or extravagant then he’ll oblige to make you happy but those types of dates make him feel quite suffocated and nervous. try to save those for special occasions.

now let’s talk about his problems because just like the other creeps he is ANGSTY.

he’s probably the most emotionally stable and healthiest of the group but he definitely still has his toxic traits, after all this man is a ghost that mentally tortures and kills his victims through manipulation.

ben would never ever get physical with his partner no matter how enraged he is but he absolutely is the type to do some mental damage when he gets carried away. ben drowned? more like ben gaslighted.

the type to say some shit that would keep you up for years and then kiss you the next morning like the argument never happened. he finds it easier to ignore problems than to actively talk and fix them. you’re gonna have to teach him some important communication skills or else you’ll grow to resent him after all the bottled up rage.

a bit too brutally honest and blunt for his own good so if you have thin skin the relationship would fall apart pretty quickly. he wants someone who can drag him twice as hard as he dragged you. bonus points if your insults are consistently funny as hell.

please watch anime with him and discuss it. he would propose on the spot, especially if you play with his hair.

pro player tip: if you want him to clean his disgusting room, help him and make it fun! he just needs a little push and motivation at times. and being around you makes him want to get his shit together.

big fan of late night make-out sessions. i’m talking like 45 minutes straight of just slobbering on each other’s faces with tongues down throats. if you don’t want his hands running over every inch of your body then you’ll probably have to chain him to the wall.

NSFW

okay. so he’s a little inexperienced with his hands. he’s just a slow learner. be vocal with him about what you like!!

ben's about 7inches and slightly skinnier than average but he will have you seeing stars in record time. the dick game is no joke. he tends to go fast and deep most times.

i can see him being a switch in the idgaf-as-long-as-i’m-fucking way. dude will go with the flow and will try mostly anything.

definitely one of the least aggressive pastas during sex. he has sadistic tendencies but he’s more of a edge/overstimulate you until you cry versus a beat the shit out of you and rip hair out of your scalp type. he’s pretty vanilla given his occupation.

despite his love of roasting the fuck out of you on a daily basis, the only words that come out of this man’s mouth is heavenly praise. he looks at you like you’re the most gorgeous being on the planet and he’ll let you know it.

he loves to whisper praises into your ear while you ride him.

he's more of a receiver than a giver when it comes to oral. he'll absolutely spend hours between your legs if given the chance but nothing beats the sight of you on your knees and teary eyed with his length in your mouth.

he can be a bit of a head pusher but just let him face-fuck you every now and then, hearing his loud moans will be worth it.

did i mention how much of a crying kink this man has? you guys could be on round three and if he stares at your teary eyed fucked-out face for longer than 10 seconds he'll immediately get hard again. you'll have to beg him to give your poor body a break.

he's also into choking but only if he's the one doing it. if you try to restrict his breathing he'll panic and the mood would get ruined.

#creepypasta #creepypasta smut #celia reqs #creepypasta x reader #ben drowned #ben drowned x reader #ben drowned smut #ben drowned x y/n #ben drowned x you #ben drowned headcanons #ben drowned hcs #creepypasta headcanon

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haechvn · 25 days

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Dating Shuri Udaku Headcanons

Pairing: Shuri x F!Reader

Warning: Fluff, Toxic!Shuri, Angst and Smut since yall nasty asf

Summary/Request: I got so many requests for an update so here it is!

Word Count: 1k words

Author’s Note: I decided to make her mean since you hoes wanna be treated like shit or whatever. I'm getting back into my groove with this one for sure. 18+ MDNI fr or imma beat yall ass. NEED MORE SHURI GIFS WTH

Taglist: @inmyheadimobsessed @theblacksuccubus @melodykisses @blackhottie25 @tonakings @coalmistyy @szalipcombo @prettyluhlaiiii @yelenabelovasgf @callmeoncette @clqrosmgc @theblacksuccubus @cherios @shuris-whore @nut4shuri @gaspyghosttt @elliesdinosauar @idkhersposts @ziayamikaelson @trinthebean @sleepingnova @yunhofingers

Credits: @anitalenia for the super cute dividers get into itttt

Fluff

Cooks breakfast for you every morning after the two of you have sweet and reckless nights together

Loves getting the two of you matching sets of grillz. Gold, silver, diamond studded. It doesn't matter

Brings you alongside her for all of her council meetings as she truly values your opinion and wants you to be involved and know your role in leading the nation with her

Has a throne for you next to hers

Trains you with the Dora because she doesn’t want what happened last time with Namor to ever repeat itself

Buys you whatever you want right off each and every runway during all the major Fashion Week shows

Always get the biggest section when y’all got out and you betta be shaking that ass cause she gon be throwing them bills babyyyy

The amount of decorated hotel rooms you get from her is ridiculoussss. She’ll decorate a whole hotel for you just because she loved seeing your smile in the morning.

Always has her hand in yours no matter what the two of you are doing. Even hold your hand while you two brush your teeth

Never breaks eye contact with you while the two of you are speaking

Has more that 100 nicknames for you

Toxic/Angsty

Purposely starts arguments with you because it turns her on to see you riled up and she can’t stop thinking about you putting her back in her place

Used a bit too much of her strength on you during training and you had to stay in the hospital for a few nights. She locked herself in her room and couldn’t even stand to look at you when you were released.

Sometimes she lacks empathy because she believes she’s gone through the worse shit. She definitely gaslights you sometimes and walks away if you complain to her about having family issues

“Wow. It’s so sad you argue with your mom everyday. Where’s mine? Oh yea right. I’m done listening”

Tries to deny that she felt anything for RiRi but will constantly talk about how beautiful she is just to get you jealous. You end up beating her ass bc wtf

One of those lesbians that doesn't like when you talk to other women bc why the fuck would you?

Will look you dead in the eyes and tell you that you aren’t more important than her work and you should just leave her alone and spend the money she gives you. She sent 2 mil to your account while you stormed out of the lab

She’ll deny you sex because she didn’t like the way you spoke to the Dora earlier that morning. You said hi

She sometimes embarrassed by the lack of strength you have. Like tighten up tf

“Can you stop touching me? Even the Dora don’t smother me this much.”

Hates when you constantly run your hands through her hair like she didn’t just get it done

Kisses her teeth when you try to shake your ass and it doesn’t move the way she want it too

“Try harder maybe? Ugh just stop actually. You look cringe doing that” LIKE WHERE'S YOUR ASS MA'AM????

Smut

Shuri likes when you eat her pussy with her panther suit on. Yes. That part is cut out

She has different grillz for eating your pussy and then ones for eating you ass— SHE A BOTTOMFEEDAAAA

Shuri loves pressing her kimoyo beads against your clit and sending intense vibrations there. Rose toy who???

She eats your pussy at night sometimes because if you look hard enough while she’s making your head spin, her inner bottom lip glows softly with her vibranium tattoo, being the only source of light in the room

LOVES WHEN YOU DRILL HER SHIT TO THE POINT THAT SHE CANT BREATHE AND TRIES TO GRASP AROUND BUT SHE CANT BC THE VIBRANIUM CUFFS TOO STRONG EVEN FOR HER SO SHE HAS TO BEG YOU TO RELEASE HER EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS YOU WON’T AHHH

Can literally eat you out for hours and against your (consented) will, she definitely does

RIDES YOU IN THE NASTIEST SLOPPIEST WAY LIKE SHE LOVES SEEING YALL CREAM MIX AND IS OBSESSED WITH HOW STICKY SHE IS AND HOW MUCH STICKIER YOU ARE UGH SHE PRESSES HER LIPS AGAINST YOUR AS IF SHE CAN GO INSIDE YOU BYEEEEEEE

SHE AINT NO FAKE GAY NO MA’AM

Wakes you up most mornings with her lips sucking and teasing your breast bc babe she can’t get enough

BOTTOM!SHURI LOVES WHEN YOU SIT ON THE THRONE AND SHE TRIES TO MAKE HERSELF CUM OVER AND OVER RIDING YOUR THIGH WHILE YOU SIT ON HER THRONE OH WOW

SHE WHINES SO MUCH AND IS NOT QUIET AT ALL. Constantly getting complaints from everyone in the palace

Likes getting her ass devoured. SORRY NOT SORRY

Kissing you alone get her wetter than river Niger omgggg (I’m African and this how we say it PLS)

Constantly talking you through EVERYTHING she does to you

“You take my fingers so well”

“Hmm, you know I love when you squeeze around me like that. Fuck, do that again.” (THE WAY SHE ROLLS HER R’S UGHHH)

“Please, I can’t take it. I-I… Fuck you feel so good. Don’t stop fucking me, put me in my place”

Never breaks eye contact with you when she’s drilling the shit out of you

LOVES WHEN YOU FUCK HER FACE WITH ALL THE STRAPS SHES MADE IN THE LAB

Literally she’ll be in the lab with her goggles on with all her tools scattered all of the table and gets wet picturing you standing over her and using her mouth like a toy OMG

Loves when you tie her up with pink and purple ribbons and stuff her mouth with your panties BYE

LIKES BEING BLINDFOLDED AND WEARING FLUFFY EARMUFFS SO YOU CAN DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING TO HER AND GIVING YOU FULL CONTROL

WHITE FLUFFY EARMUFFS WITH PINK RIBBONS AND HER CURLY HAIR SHAKING AROUND EVERY TIME SHE MOVES

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aeyunaa · 11 months

Text

Toxic

Idek anymore y’all this post is kinda random so 😭💁🏻‍♂️…

Word count🍂 1.1k

Pairing🍂 san!dom x fem!reader!sub

Bdsm relationship?!

Smut warning ⚠️

Throat fucking, bondage, creampie, namecalling, degrading, spanking, oral!female receiving.

Guys the start of this seems sorta non/con…..idk y.

—————————————————🍂

It’s been a week.

52 missed calls over a hundred texts all from him, your relationship with him was difficult to define. Lovers? That couldn’t be it. You love him, he says he loves you but arguments break out every other two hours. You had enough so you left the house without him knowing and when he caught up he started blowing up your phone.

You roll your eyes and set your phone down looking up at the show playing on the tv in front of you.

Your phone starts ringing again. You think about it for a bit before answering the call last minute. “Hello?”.

“Y/n, please come home I’m not upset or anything. I just wanna talk…you can’t run away every time we have to deal with tension between us. We have to talk about it eventually. J-just come talk to me please.”

You sigh loudly before agreeing. “Fine, I’ll be over in ten.” You quickly hung up the phone. “Gosh I just made a terrible mistake didn’t I?”

10 minutes later

You felt your stomach drop to your ass when you knocked on the door. San opened it and the first thing he did was wrap both arms around your waist and pull you into a hug. “I was so worried”. You don’t say anything. After the hug San tells you that he cooked he closes the door as you walk in.

When you walk into the dining room you see the table neatly decorated with different displays and options of food items. You sat down and started eating, San was quiet, he walked behind you softly stroking the top of your head. He leaned in and he started kissing your neck leaving small purple hickeys. “S-San wait”. He softly pulls away from your neck, “look I’m sorry I left without saying anything I know I scared you, I just wasn’t thinking straight.” He nodded “I was just really worried…what you was childish…”. You cut him off “I won’t do it again”. “I know..” You didn’t know what he’d meant by that at the time.

8:00 pm evening

“Babe, can you help me really quick!” You heard San yell from upstairs so you stand up a dash up the stairs and down the hallway “can you get the remote? It fell behind the bed frame and my arms aren’t small enough to fit behind there. You nod before crawling up onto the edge of the bed, you rest the top half of your body against the silk sheets you slip your hands behind the bed and feel around after awhile you pull your hands out and grab onto the frame looking over at San who was totally staring at your ass from underneath your miniskirt. “There’s nothing there liar! You’re such a pervert!”. “Last time I checked you slept with this pervert” he grins cockily. You break character and crack a smile. He walks towards you and places a hand next to yours pressing his lips into yours. When you broke the kiss he quickly grabbed both of your wrists binding them together with the black leather belt he had on. “What are you doing?” He snuck both hands up your skirt, hooking the rim of your panties and tugging them off. The sudden coolness against your wet cunt made you shiver. “S-san?” He taps a finger on your thigh. You open your legs a bit wider allowing him a good look at your soaking heat. He smiles and cocks an eyebrow “why are you so wet already I haven’t even touched you properly yet.” His hands softly caress your ass, riding your skirt further up your body. Before you could register what he was doing, his hand rewarded your ass cheek with a hard spank. You whimper in pain as the spanking continues over and over again, landing in the same spot every time. The last spank was the hardest, you felt defeated, it’s most likely to leave a large bruise and it'd be difficult to sit comfortably for the next few days. He grabs both of your asscheeks, spreading them widely before lowering his head to meet your warmth. He slowly works his tongue through your folds and around your sensitive bud. Your body jolts forward further into the bed. He slid his tongue into you painting your walls saliva. San pulls away, licking his pretty lips clean.

“Come here..”. You sit up, back now leaning against the bed frame, he grabs your ankles pulling them towards himself laying you down properly. San reaches for his pants, unbuttoning them quickly before tugging them down with his boxers. “Now be a very good girl for me..” he crawls on top of you, setting his cock on your chin slightly rutting himself against your bottom lip. “Such a slutty little thing, you’re so much prettier with my cock on your face” he slightly pressed the head of his dick against the corner of your mouth and continued talking. “…but you'd look a little better if I just-“ with one quick thrust he managed to plant himself deep down your throat. He chuckles “wow look at that…”

His hands force your head against him once again, your nose pushed against his pelvis. It’s been going for way too long, you gag against his cock, taking all of him down your throat. your mascara runs down your cheeks through streams of tears. You look so helpless, and San is taking so much satisfaction in breaking you. He glances at you through heavy eyelids, his lips lightly parting, letting almost desperate moans and whines fall freely “fuck yess, choke on my cock slut.”. Mixtures of spit and cum coat your lips and chin. You felt you were going to faint, before you could San pulled out of your throat, resting his thick Cock on the side of your face. He flipped you into your stomach and you could feel him as he started to align himself at your entrance with one rough thrust, he was inside you. He started thrusting into your tight hole ramming into you like there was no tomorrow. He couldn’t hold on any longer.

His thrust grew faster and harder than the last. You scream his name each thrust, it makes him want to destroy you even more. The knot in your stomach grew as he repositioned, hitting your cervix with each thrust. He could feel himself getting close. Your breaths grow sharper as you clench around his cock, your back arches as you scream his name, the knot in your stomach released. “Fucckk y/n…your little cumdump just came all over my dick.” He continued thrusting into your swollen cunt. His body stiffened and you felt his warm liquid fill you up quickly spilling out of you as he pulled out. He grabs your bonded wrists and takes the belt off before pulling you into a warm hug. You were too fucked out too hug him back but he understood that, so he kissed your forehead before reaching over to the nightstand to turn off the light.

Send in your requests🙏🏻!!

#kpop smut #smut #smut smut smut #ateez angst #ateez smut #ateez imagines #ateez fic #ateez fluff #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez san #san choi #choi san #san ateez #ateez san smut #san smut #san imagines

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https-florals · 1 year

Text

i know what you tell your friends - r.c.

part one || part two

word count: 4.6k

summary: you’re losing your rules and all your resolve.

warnings: suggestive, angsty?? fanon rafe, protective rafe, misogyny, catcalling, kelce and topper being rude and nasty, drunk rafe, showering together but not in a sexy way, cursing, rafe yelling at you, rafe being a swiftie for fun, shitload of toxicity

a/n: I GOT VERY CARRIED AWAY ITS SO LONG!! hopefully y’all like this even tho there is no kissing or sexy times 😳 im v proud of this little miniseries!!!! pt3 will hopefully be in the works soon! read on beautiful people!

Rafe has never been good at following rules. It’s just not his thing. Parts of him simply forget restrictions, his mind deciding what it wants and his body following. Other times, he looks at a rule like a dare: he breaks them out of pure spite.

He can’t tell which reason is making him push the limits with you.

It’s a pretty Saturday night at the country club, Rafe and his friends all crowded at a table in the corner of the club restaurant. He’s hoping that you’re not working and simultaneously praying you are.

Much to his chagrin (enjoyment?) you’re the first to bounce over to his table, pulling out your notepad and pen before you look up at the customers.

Rafe is painfully aware of the way your breathing hitches, your smile not quite reaching your eyes when you realize who is seated at your table.

“How are y’all? What can I get started for ya?” You’re the damn picture of a perfect waitress, short black skirt stretched over your thighs and white polo purposefully unbuttoned. Rafe is thinking that there’s definitely a porno about something like this when Topper nudges him.

“Bro? Your drink?”

“Whiskey. Whiskey sour, please,” he says, getting a side-eye from a buddy at how strained his voice is and how he deigned to even say please.

The only thing he can think about is how pretty you would look with that skirt pushed up about your hips.

“Dude? The fuck is wrong with you?” Kelce hits Rafe across the chest as you walk away, snapping him out of his stupor.

He blinks hard and shakes his head, like he’s trying to shake rain out of his face. “Nothing, man. I’m just tired.” Lying is currently Rafe’s number one hobby, apparently. First to your face about a multitude of things, now to his best friends. He doesn’t like to think of himself as a dishonest person- the principle of integrity has been drilled into him since he was a kid, and even though he’s managed to shake off a lot of guilt, something about lying to the people he loves grates on his conscience.

Not that he loves you, or anything.

When you come back with their drinks, Rafe tries his hardest to ignore the way his friend’s eyes rake over you.

You’re so bubbly and customer-service-y as you pass out drinks, smile bright when Topper thanks you for his old-fashioned. A slight twinge of jealousy hits Rafe, and he wishes you’d smile at him like that.

The second you walk away, Topper makes some offhand comment about how he couldn’t help but look straight down your shirt when you gave him his drink, and Rafe bites back a comment about how Topper wasn’t worthy of that smile you gave him. He focuses on picking out what he wants to eat.

Rafe drifts in and out of the conversation with his boys, but mostly watches you as you go from table to table. You’re back for their food order, and it’s almost like you’re avoiding making eye contact with him.

Topper is leering at you, Kelce is being rude to you, they’re all being dickheads, but who is the one person you aren’t even looking at? Rafe.

As you leave, Kelce grins. “She’s fine as hell, Top. You see the way she looked at you?”

The boy’s cheeks tint pink as he takes a sip of his drink. “Practically begging for it,” he chuckles.

Rafe is silent as Kelce howls for no damn reason, slapping the table as a joke that just isn’t funny.

“Man, this is your opportunity,” Kelce chirps as you walk from table to table. “Ask her if she’s doing anything after her shift!”

Topper throws his hands up, attempting to act bashful but the bold smile on his face betrays it. “What am I supposed to say, dude?” He shifts his tone, making it nauseatingly breathy and smooth. “C’mon, babe, let me give it to you right,” Topper practically moans in her direction, sending Kelce into another howling fit.

“Shut the fuck up,” Rafe groans, slouching in his chair and downing the rest of his sour. His friends are insufferable, he knows that. He’s never really cared before, in fact he himself often goes along with their lewd jokes- flirting with club staff, making gestures behind their backs. Why it’s just now grating on him so hard, he doesn’t know.

If the boys hear him, they don’t act like it. They’ve moved onto horrific pickup lines.

“If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting ahead?”

“Roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, I’ll be the nine!”

Rafe sighs, wishing he had at least two more drinks sitting in front of him. “Can you not? You’re acting like douchebags.” His words are coated with annoyance. He sounds like a mother chiding her boys.

“Who pissed in your cereal, man?” Topper scoffs. “We’re just messing around. You’ve been so tight lately, bro. You usually eat this kinda bullshit up.”

It’s true, but it makes him cringe. He’s been guilty of the very thing he’s angry at them about, and it’s probably the reason you think he’s a shit person.

Kelce laughs. “You’re just mad she ain’t looking at you, dickwad.”

They’ve finally shut up by the time you come back with their food, much to Rafe’s relief.

His hand just barely brushes yours when you hand him his plate, and you jolt so hard that the club sandwich almost slides off. There’s a flash in your eyes like you’re hoping he doesn’t notice, but of course he does.

He notices everything about you.

He also notices the way your skirt shifts up as you move, and Rafe resists the urge to reach out and tug it down.

You clear your throat as you set everything else down, wiping your hands on the front of your skirt, pushing it down a little.

Thank God.

“Okay, gentlemen! Anything else we need?” You smile, and Rafe thinks that he needs you to kiss him like, right this second, but he bites his tongue and shakes his head.

You’re just about to turn away when Kelce clears his throat, saying, “One more thing I need to know, miss!”

It’s like he’s talking in slow motion. Every part of Rafe is filled with an inexplicable dread as he begins to speak.

“Job policy make you wear this?”

You pause, a little perplexed frown on your face. “No, I just wear an Island Club polo for fun.”

Kelce grins, and runs his hand down your arm, not faltering at your tone and not even when you jerk away. “Strictly that? Nothing else?”

You’re preparing for some lewd joke about whether or not your wearing panties.

“You need some more… accessories.” He grins, innocent when he looks up at you. “I’ve got one that would look great in your mouth.”

Rafe’s vision goes a little red when your jaw drops open. He stands up quick and slams his palms on the table. “Get the fuck out, man.”

“Has that ever worked for you?” you blurt incredously as Rafe moves around you. His hand tucks on your waist as he slides you away from Kelce, but you pretend not to notice.

Kelce gasps when Rafe grabs him by the sleeve to pull him out of the restaurant.

“Dude! Chill out!” Topper protests.

The look on Rafe’s face scares you a little when he whips around to look at Topper, snapping, “You wanna quit acting like a douchebag, or do you want me to haul your sorry ass outta here too?”

Topper flushes and sits.

“Don’t ever let me catch you talking like that to any of these girls here, alright?” Rafe is seething as he pushes Kelce into the club bathrooms. The other boy’s jaw is dropped open, nodding his head.

Rafe knows he can be scary. Right now, he uses that to his advantage, hand fisted in the collar of Kelce’s shirt as he towers over him.

Kelce is trying to break free, but Rafe refuses to budge. “You are gonna go back out there and say you’re sorry, and then leave her the biggest tip she’s ever seen. Got it?”

The shorter boy nods fervently when Rafe lets go of him, and practically sprints back to find you.

Rafe steps out of the bathroom, leaning up against the wall as he watches Kelce find you and apologize. Your eyes are wide while he’s talking to you, and you give him a timid smile right before he walks away.

Rafe hates him. He hates the way he spoke to you, and hates the way you don’t punch him in the dick. If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, he thinks.

When you walk away from Kelce, Rafe follows you before even really thinking about it.

You’re finally within reach and he grabs your wrist, spinning you to face him.

Yanking your arm away from him, you hiss, “What are you doing?” The stilted customer-service kindness is gone.

“I’m sorry my friends are assholes,” he whispers, taking a step back from you, his hands up like he’s begging you not to shoot.

Your shoulders sag. “It’s not your fault, Rafe. You don’t have to apologize.”

“No, I do,” he says, voice thin. “I acted like that, before, and now they think it’s cool to be dicks.”

“Before?”

Before you, he thinks, but doesn’t say.

“I try not to be like that anymore,” Rafe says instead. He holds his hand out like a peace offering, and you accept it, your palm sliding against his in an awkward shake.

“Friends?” He asks, soft and questioning.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you joke, not quite catching the way Rafe frowns. “I gotta go. Text me later, okay?”

He promises he will, then he’s moping back to his table, where he slaps down two fifties and makes Kelce add two more to the pile. The boys are gone before you can even offer a check.

You get off late, heading back to the Chateau drained. You pass on a game of poker with your friends for a shower, receiving a boo from John B and several rude names from JJ.

After a good half-hour shower and coating your body in lotion, you’re feeling up for cards, and settle at the table with a glass of apple juice.

“Ooh, now that is hard liquor,” Sarah comments, teasing as she deals you in.

“I don’t feel like drinking tonight. Y’know, in case I have to drive anywhere.”

“Where would you be driving?” Pope asks, and you shrug in return, even though you know exactly where.

“She’s gotta see her little kook boyfriend,” JJ says, but there’s a bite to his words.

“Not my boyfriend,” you state, hands up.

Kiara makes a face, but you don’t miss it.

“Guys. We are strictly just fucking.”

“Ew! I don’t wanna hear about that shit!” JJ shouts, and the rest of the table makes disgusted noises.

You look at him with an incredulous expression. “Can a girl not get laid anymore without everyone having to give a damn opinion? We are just messing around!”

“It’s not like he’s the absolute worst,” Sarah ventures, her hand sneaking over yours.

John B frowns at her while JJ chimes in, saying. “Sarah. I know he’s your brother, but he is actually the worst.”

“He’s getting better!’ She defends, voice high.

Almost like he knows he’s the subject of your conversation, Rafe’s caller ID pops up on your phone. You motion for everyone to be quiet, and answer it. Your volume is up and for once the Pogues are so quiet that they can hear the other line without you even putting it on speaker.

Rafe croons your name over the phone, one, two, three times before you can say anything.

“Rafe?”

“Hey, baby!” There’s a crackle and the sound of fabric shuffling against the speaker. “Shit. I’m not supposed to call you that.”

“What are you doing?” you ask, though it's more of a scold than a question.

“I need your help,” he says, and you can hear music in the background. “Top was supposed to be my DD, and I can’t find him.”

“Are you drunk? How many shots have you had?”

Rafe doesn’t answer you, but keeps rambling. “Sarah didn’t answer any of my texts, and I don’t know who else to call.”

Sarah’s eyebrows knit together and she checks her phone, turning it so you can see that she has no notifications from her brother.

“Come pick me up? Please?”

There’s a moment of silence on your end, and Rafe repeats, “Pretty please.”

He says your name again, so soft it makes your heart ache. “I need you.”

You sigh and stand up, JJ throwing his hands up in exasperation, but having the courtesy to remain silent. “I’ll be there soon, okay? Send me the bar and for the love of God, don’t drink anymore!”

“You’re the best,” Rafe answers, and doesn’t hang up, so you have to hit the button.

You’re rushing out the door, ignoring your friend’s remarks and jabs.

“I”m not letting you in when you get back here at the asscrack of dawn,” John B warns as you grab your keys.

You ignore him and race out to your car. When you get to the bar, Rafe is sitting outside on the steps, head between his hands.

You park illegally in front of the entrance, ignoring the loud honk from a car. Rafe’s face lights up when he sees you hop out of your car, and starts to stumble toward you. He trips when he’s just a few feet away from you, and you stick your arms out to stop his fall. It doesn’t quite work, and the breath is knocked out of you when your back hits the metal of your car door.

Rafe jerks back, eyes wide. “Are you okay?” He’s inspecting you like you’re an apple in a grocery aisle- spinning you around, checking for bruises.

You nod, and make an odd little squawking noise when he hugs you tight and effectively takes your breath away a second time.

“I missed you,” he exhales into your hair, and you realize just how drunk he is.

You pull away, squinting up at the redness in his face. “How many drinks did you have?”

He shrugs and grins, eyes stuck on your lips, unashamed. “Too many.”

Blowing out a breath, you open the car door and help him in. “I can tell. Arms in, bud.”

There is too much sweetness in your tone, but you realize it a little too late, and can’t find it within yourself to even care.

When you slide into the driver’s seat, he slumps over the center console, head nestled on your shoulder and his hand slipping to your knee.

Spotify is shuffling all of your favorite Taylor Swift songs, and you notice about halfway through the drive that Rafe is quietly singing along.

His fingers idly play with the frayed hem of your sweatshorts, humming, “if I showed up to your party, would you have me, would you want me…” It’s a little slurred, but he hits every note right.

“Didn’t know you were a swiftie,” you joke, pressing your cheek to the top of his head.

He shakes his head, but laughs all the same. “I let Sarah have aux whenever I gotta drive her places. She really likes the album that’s like, blue, and it’s got all those songs about Harry Styles on it.”

“1989?”

He nods. “She loves that one. Good album.”

“You’re so right.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Rafe is saying your name, whispering it like it’s a taboo word.

“I’m sorry my friends were such assholes earlier.”

“You already apologized. It’s alright, I’ve heard worse.” His face after you say that makes him look like he’s in physical pain. “Seriously, Rafe. Kelce’s question was maybe the most PG thing I heard today. Teenage boys say some wild shit to waitresses.”

He frowns. “I’ll beat those little motherfuckers up. Gimme a list, I’ll rock their shit.”

You tell him no, but you’re laughing. “I don’t need you to protect me, Rafe.”

He shrugs, acting like the phrase just rolls off his shoulders. “I don’t give a shit about what you think you do or don’t need,” he says, too nonchalant.

“Excuse me?” You swerve a little as you whip your head towards him.

Rafe sighs, stretching out in the passenger. The muscles of his thigh tense as he moves, fully on display with his little 5-inch inseam shorts.

“I’m not repeating it, baby.”

Your chest tightens, breath a little shallow as you keep your eyes on the road. His hands are red hot on your thigh, like his fingerprints are burning into your thigh. You need to push his hand off before he can lay claim on you like that, but you don’t move, his fingers pressing and sliding and flaming.

“Sarah told me you had a date the other day.” His voice has a little bit of venom.

“I did,” you confirm, giving him a side-eye.

His profile looks like stone as he stares out the window, streetlights reflecting on his skin. “Why? Who was he?”

“You don’t know him, Rafe,” you sigh. “He’s from the cut. Works with JJ.”

His tongue pokes into his cheek as he laughs. “You and these Pogie assholes. You ever gonna try something different?”

“I have some range. Not just pogues. You’re a Kook asshole, and we get along just great.”

Rafe’s brows narrow. “Get along? You just want to fuck me, that’s why we get along.”

“You’re so right. Good job!” You try to joke.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

You jump and swerve at the sudden change in his voice. You’ve heard him yell before, but it’s never been directed at you. “Why are you yelling?” you shout back. You don’t know why your eyes are burning.

“I”m yelling cause you’re a fucking idiot,” he groans, but his hand is still painfully hot on your thigh.

You scoff and push it off. “Shut up, Rafe.”

His jaw tenses and shudders a little. “They’re so shit to you,” he practically cries. “And I’m here. I would be so good to you. Better than any of these dickheads.”

You rub your eyes, telling yourself it's because you're tired and not because you're about to cry. “Why are they dickheads? I think you’re an dickhead.”

“Don’t say that,” he whines.

“What makes them worse than you, Rafe?” you huff.

“Cause they don’t love you like you need to be loved.” He’s looking everywhere but you, and you’re thinking about pulling over because your heart is beating so fast you feel like you might die. Then his eyes finally shift to yours, piercingly blue. They remind you of the waves that break overhead when your surfboard pulls you down under the water.

His fingers are tracking back to your thigh, and you do your best to keep your damn eyes on the road and drive, no matter how hard he’s staring at you.

“Like I could love you.”

Your knuckles are white on the steering wheel. There’s no words stuck in your throat because you can’t think of any; you’re panicky and you can’t breathe.

His face turns to the window and he begins to hum to the radio. Nothing else is said.

Rafe is still humming when you help him out of the car, his arm slung around your shoulders.

“Thank you for coming and getting me,” he says, breaking the heavy silence when you reach the door.

You stare at him like he’s an alien. He never says thank you. You're still reeling from the car conversation, but you clear your throat and pat his shoulder, like you’re just two buds. “You good from here?”

“No.” He says it so quickly, bottom lip poking out like a little kid. “I need you.”

I don’t give a shit about what you think you need. The thought twinges in your brain, and you stop yourself from saying that you don’t think you need to stay.

“You can at least make sure I don’t like, drown in the bathtub. And get in bed.” He smiles that heartbreaker grin.

You can’t tell if he’s sober or drunk, or what. You sigh, and push past him, dragging the tall boy in tow. “Fine. No funny business.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He gives you a little salute, and stumbles along with you.

It’s so hard getting Rafe upstairs that you give up on being quiet, and settle for praying that none of the Camerons wake up and catch the two of you. When you finally get to his room, you push him into the bathroom.

“You reek,” you sigh, shutting the door as quietly as you can.

“Rude,” he responds, peeling off his shirt.

You try not to watch him shuffle out of his clothes as you turn on the water, running your fingers under the stream and checking the temperature. When it’s warm enough, you turn back to Rafe, doing everything but staring as he stands shamelessly naked in front of you.

“I- your- The water’s hot.”

He laughs and shuffles past you. “Don’t act like you’ve never seen me naked.”

Your cheeks heat, but you blame it on the rising humidity in the bathroom. After making sure he’s alright, you slip out.

You pace Rafe’s room, messing with the few trinkets on his desk and marveling at the cleanliness. He has a little oyster shell dish with a little painting of UNC, and a couple of rings lay in it. You’re trying on his signet ring when you hear a thud.

“Rafe?” you whisper-yell. There’s just the sound of running water. You rush into the bathroom, flicking on the fan to clear a little of the steam. Against your better judgment, you slide open the shower door. Rafe is slumped against the tile wall, eyes shut, mouth open. Dead asleep. You step in, water drenching your clothes as you smack his cheeks, trying to wake him up. “Rafe, when you said I needed to make sure you didn’t drown in the bathtub, I didn’t think you meant literally,” you mutter as you try to push him up and out of the water stream.

His eyes blink open, then roll back, then close again.

“Rafe! Come on, baby,” you mutter, and smack him again.

His eyes fly open and you jolt back as his lips curve into a grin. “You called me baby.”

You frown. “Did not,” you lie.

“I love when you lie. You’re bad at it.”

Self-righteous asshole, you think. “Sit down,” you instruct him, pointing to the built-in shower bench. He sits, and you squirt some of his shampoo into your palm. You’re pleasantly surprised that it’s not 3-in-1. It even smells good. Standing between his legs, you push the shampoo through his hair, raking your fingernails over his scalp and giggling at all the little moans he lets out.

Your clothes are soaked, uncomfortably so. Your tee clings to you, and Rafe’s hands fiddle with the hem of it.

“Why are your clothes on?” He asks, tone genuine.

“Because you’re drunk,” you answer, “and I wanted to keep them on.”

He nods, and you rinse the suds out of his hair. The casual intimacy of the moment hits you hard when Rafe rests his head on your chest. It’s so soft and sweet and so out of the ordinary for the two of you that it’s nearly blindsiding.

You get him cleaned up, and then track water all over the tiles when you grab towels. He wraps it around his hips, and you shiver as you pull it around your shoulders.

If the shower sobered him up at all, it’s not evident in his attitude towards you, but he is walking a little straighter. Rafe pulls a tshirt out of his drawer, and two pairs of boxers. One pair is for him, and he slides into bed, watching you expectantly.

You stare back at him. “What?”

“Shirt and boxers are for you. You can’t sleep in soaking wet clothes.”

“Close your eyes.”

Shockingly, he does, throwing a hand over his eyes without further questioning.

You strip and don the outfit. The boxers are soft, and there’s a few holes in the collar of the shirt. It’s worn, with a faded Rolling Stones emblem. “I never see you wear this,” you say, and his eyes open, lips pressing together as a smile just flickers over his face.

“Cause I don’t. It looks good on you.” Rafe’s cheeks are a little pink, and he’s looking at you with pure adoration.

You turn to hide the shakiness of your hands, and sit on the bed to pull on your Tevas before grabbing your keys. “You all good? I gotta head back to the Chateau.”

“No, I’m not good,” Rafe answers with a groan. “You should stay.”

You stare at him, taken aback. “No, I should not. I really need to go back.”

“Why?”

You shrug. A good reason is not floating through your brain at the moment, or at least one that’s real. You could say they need you back for… something. It’s a lie. You could say you have to help JJ with something. Also a lie, plus it would make Rafe mad, you think. Not to mention the fact that you aren’t sure if you and JJ are still on speaking terms after the way he glared at you when you left.

You could always say you don’t want to stay. But damn, that’d be the biggest lie of all.

“I just need to. Rules, remember?” you remind him as an afterthought.

He sighs, loud and overdramatic. “Rules, schmoolze. Just stay.”

When you fiddle with the strap of your sandals, deciding whether or not to take them off, he reaches for your wrist, fingers hooking on your bracelets.

“I’ll be good,” he whispers. “Promise.”

Well, shit. How can you say no to that?

Within seconds your shoes are off, keys tossed somewhere, and you’re crawling into bed with him. You’re rigid at first when he slides his arms around your waist and pulls you a little closer.

“Relax. Quit acting like I’ve never touched you before.”

“You haven’t like this,” you answer, voice strained.

“Don’t worry. Cuddling up won’t make you fall in love with me,” he huffs, and your leg hooks over him as your head tucks against his chest.

He’s wrong, you think. He’s wrong, and you need to go home. Right now.

But then his hand is on your back, and he’s humming another damn Taylor Swift song, and his thumb is circling your shoulder blade so, so slow.

You’re too far gone to leave now.

“Comfy?” He stops humming to ask.

You nod, just a little bit, trying to find a place for your gaze to rest. Your options are endless- his eyes, his mouth, his chest- but none of them seem safe. You settle for a freckle on his cheekbone. “What about you?” you ask in return.

“Never been better.”

He’s comfortable in the silence, and you most definitely are not. It’s foreign, being in his bed with your clothes on and a part of him not inside you. You’re not sure how to act about it.

Rafe clearly does, either that or he’s winging it. His hands are soft and soothing all over you, willing you to loosen up. He unwinds the coil in your shoulders, the tightness in the small of your back.

As your eyes start to drift shut, you feel his lips against your forehead.

“Goodnight, honey.”

“Goodnight,” you repeat.

Your stupid little list of rules is doing nothing.

likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated!!!! thank you for reading!

#outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron obx #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron smut #rafe x reader #obx #obx s3

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babyspacekwid · 7 months

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Astrology Observations and Advice ✨ (TW talks of ED)

From a non professional astrologer who has no idea wtf she’s posting half the time 💕

Chiron 4th house in Capricorn, Your dad may be very hard on you, like a perfectionist dad. Could have also been abusive. Could be the type to comment on your shortcomings. Remember that you are enough as it is, don’t be so hard on yourself, treat yourself as you would a friend. With compassion and kindness. Its okay to make mistakes in life. It’s common to have daddy issues with this placement, so try not to let that affect your love life, this is a personal placement of mine😜 rlly into toxic men, but they ain’t good for me, so let us be aware of that. Don’t take life too seriously, do the serious shit without being too serious about it. Idk if that makes sense but for example, let’s say u got a math test, do the math test seriously, like study and shit but don’t let the stress of it consume you because it rlly ain’t that serious.

Aries moon, especially men y’all’s temper is unregulated af. Ive seen y’all snap at stuff that energy shouldn’t be wasted on, y’all are one of the most emotionally reactive signs I have ever met. Like a ticking time bomb. This moon sign might have experienced a mother figure that was harsh and emotionally neglectful. Very hard on you, wasn’t that nurturing when raising you. The type of mom to tell you to get up and wipe the dust off when you fall and scrape your knee as a kid. y’all gotta delve into those emotions in a healthier manner. Therapy and journaling could be very beneficial. Go to one of those rage rooms where ppl break shit, I feel like y’all would go all out. There’s definitely some pent up anger. This goes for Scorpio moons too, y’all is more internal though, got some deep dark thoughts and intense internal feelings that could easily overwhelm which is why downtime is needed.

Speaking of some Scorpio moons I have met, don’t let your trust issues fuck things up. This a hard placement, y’all feel things so deeply, but just cause one person backstabbed you don’t mean everyone will. Open up to people, trial and error and you’ll find that person. Obviously set boundaries and don’t just trauma dump on everyone you meet, but don’t build an invisible wall as soon as you meet someone. Not everyone is out to get you.

(TW) Taurus risings I’ve met have dealt with some type of eating disorder. Could have had family members or people comment on their weight as a child or just got rlly influenced by the negative parts of social media. Every taurus rising I’ve met has dealt with body issues, y’all are actually so beautiful though, and I’m sorry you don’t hear it often,no matter the size. You guys are also so photogenic, like maybe I’m just the type of person that sees human beings as cute in general but istg y’all could be making the ugliest of faces and I’d still think it’s charming 😭 my best advice would be to stop comparing yourselves, and to learn unconditional love towards your body at every stage it’s at. We’re gonna be 60 and wrinkly anyways, might as well enjoy what it can do for you now!

I have this friend who’s a Capricorn sun and moon, and as a Gemini sun and moon myself I feel so similar to her in like every aspect. Idk if it’s because we’re both born on a new moon, but anyways, this girl needs to learn to open up😭 like hun I wanna be your shoulder to cry on, don’t get me wrong she will vent, and spill the tea, but when the waterworks come out she’d rather isolate. I’m just like naurrrrrr, come back. I might not be comfortable with tears and shit but il awkwardly pat your back and listen to you. Either way y’all don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, you aren’t a burden and you can’t deal with it yourself. Stop trynna convince yourself that you can. Humans are social creatures and our primal instinct is to receive and give love. M

ANYWHOOOO y’all I rlly ain’t that knowledgeable about this shit, I’m rlly going off my friend’s placements (and mine). I am studying astrology tho so maybe one day 🤠 but I got the memory of a goldfish so it might take a while, I appreciate everyone who’s been liking my posts though THANK YOU💕💕💕💕

#astrology #astro observations #taurus #capricorn #scorpio #aries #chiron

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ashraintarot · 8 months

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Pick a Photo Tarot Reading - What does October hold for me?

Photo 1

The main themes that will be highlighted in October for you are passion, desire, sensuality and will-power. The first thing coming up has to do with how you view and connect to cycles in life. There are things trying to die away, to let you move past them and embrace a new, better future, but it feels like you’re grasping onto these things for dear life. This could be a romantic interest, a friend, a not so good habit, a job, anything that isn’t serving you anymore. It feels very ‘lost in the sauce’. If there’s not a toxic attachment there’s just a sense of holding onto life as it is too tightly. You’re so lost in whats going on and the emotions you’re feeling that you can’t see the way out. But it’s there. You might be often seeking answers in readings like this which I realize is ironic to tell you mid reading, but you’re meant to look within to find the answers you’re seeking. Spirit is really telling you you’re guaranteed to success eventually, but you have to trust yourself and take a damn risk! If you’re sick of where you are, make a change. I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to take a step, even if it’s a small one. For many this is a reassessing your dedication to your craft. I see you getting back to the drawing board this month, putting in the hours of practice you need to improve. It’s important to remember our taste is always better than our talent in the present moment. That’s because you’re always evolving, learning and improving, so keep that in mind when you might be hating what you’ve created. It’s just proof you’re getting better, but it doesn’t mean what you made isn’t good too! Give it love, be thankful for it for what it’s taught you. There might be some times this month you need to stick up for yourself or your fellow man. If it’s safe, be sure to stand up for what’s right. Use your voice, be a champion for those less fortunate than you are.

Photo 2

Things might feel like they aren’t working out fast enough. You’ve planted a lot of seed and intentions recently and during October you might start to feel a little impatient. This is your reminder that things are falling into place behind the scenes. Let yourself breathe and relax for now. Focus on being present and enjoying yourself this month. I feel like you might be at risk of taking on more than you can handle, so really be honest with yourself when it comes to saying yes to things you don’t have the capacity or maybe even simply don’t want to do. It’s okay to say no! You’re also being reminded that you don’t have to go through this time alone. It’s okay to ask for help, to share the load. You’re not weak for not being able to handle something, humans need community, we were made for it. In that vein, there’s an emphasis on community this month as well. Whether it’s hanging out with a group, with family, or even just one person, surround yourself with those who make you feel loved, heard and understood. I see some fun times just in the living room watching movies with a friend. Don’t lock yourself away. I think some of you are going through quite a big spiritual upgrade and it’s easy to go into that hermit mode. If you need to recharge, by all means do so, but make sure you come back up for air and connect with loved ones. Your guides are also sccrreeeaming at me to tell y’all to meditate.

Photo 3

October is all about self love and compassion for the self, especially regarding how you view yourself and the things you do/create. If you’re someone that’s always talking down to yourself as a reflex, this is for you. It’s important for you to remember that you still have so much learning and growing to do left. I get the vibe of ya’ll being worried about being “cringe” or awkward and saying the wrong thing. October is all about stepping into who you are and your power. There’s a feeling of scattered-ness and frantic energy here. It would behoove you to work on getting organized, trying out new ways to keep yourself accountable for self care routines and just routines in general that help you to feel better about yourself, physically and mentally. It feels like you’ve been trying to manifest and do spiritual work and there’s a sense of something being stuck. I really think it has to do with this self image. I really recommend taking time everyday to work with affirmations to solidify a better perspective of yourself. Play around and see what works for you, maybe writing them in a journal, or listening to a meditation on self love, maybe if you write your own you can record yourself reading them and listen first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. Put time for self love and reprogramming that image into your routine we were talking about before. You’re someone who has big dreams, some of which you haven’t even fully realized yet, but this is a reminder you’re building a solid foundation. You’re still becoming who you’re meant to be to make these dreams work out. Let yourself be a student of life. Let yourself make mistakes without beating yourself up for it.

#tarot #tarot community #witch #tarot messages #divination #witchcraft #metaphysical #pick a card reading #pick a photo #pick a pile #tarot reading #tarot reader #daily tarot #o=

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weirdo09 · 2 days

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hobie brown

i’d just like to say, i hope y’all never meet a black boy nor man because y’all’s behavior over one black teenager is honestly disturbing.

like the racist headcanons, the not taking accountability for your disturbing fics about him because “HIS AGE ISNT MENTIONED!!” like don’t act dumb, you know them people said that he’s a slight older boy than miles which would be like 1-2 years, making him 16-17. it’s also just the “i want his dick inside of me” “i want to have his kids” and the sex hcs where it’s like “he’ll fuck you hard and not give you aftercare, just leaves you to take care of yourself.”

i’m not really bothered by the smut fics and hcs cause he is attractive and i will read them every once in awhile but y’all be taking it to the extremes, calling him toxic, making him out like some abusive boyfriend, he’s only sweet when he wants you to have sex with him, he only wants you for sex, he’s a full person but only cool because he’s in a band and has sex with you, he lets his band mates fuck you without your consent, he rapes you for whatever reason (y’all’s writings not mine), he doesn’t care about stopping to see if you’re okay or if you need a break.

basically what i’m seeing is that he’s only good for sex and some of the good fics about him only portray certain parts of him. like i’m all for writing about your favorite characters n what not but if you’re basically gonna treat his character like you’re personal boytoy and not see him as anything else, it’s really harmful. especially with y’all not tagging your fics correctly and the smut fics i previously mention get seen by a minor who would want to read smut of him but not that bullcrap.

y’all literally write him being abusive to his partner, not just physically but call it “teasing”. i’m sorry but if my partner said something about breaking up with me or that i’m not good enough, would i think that that’s just “teasing”? like honestly, if you treat all your ‘blorbos’ like this then i feel sorry for you because hobie’s an amazing character that isn’t just there for you to dream about fucking and getting pregnant by him.

he’s there to show you how corruption and fascism impacting your way of life can lead to you wanting to rebel and become an anarchist to that society. he’s there to teach you that you can make your rules, that you’re more than what one person tells you, you tell yourself what you wanna be. he’s a symbol for black people who don’t wanna follow the rules of a white supremacist, fascist society, for the people who’ve ever just been like “fuck the government, i’m my own person.”

i really feel like y’all take him for granted and he is a character for a children’s type of media so the “well minors shouldn’t be looking for his smut!!” doesn’t work here. honestly, do y’all ever care about characters that aren’t perceived as “fuckable” or “attractive” by your standards? it just really pisses me off because y’all act like that’s all he’s there for, your yearning for BBC has really dimmed your perception of this character. HES A IMPORTANT CHARACTER FOR YALL TO ROLE MODEL CAUSE ITS OBVIOUS YALL DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE MOVIE’S CHILD AUDIENCE BUT YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM SO

if you care about hobie, please remember that there’s more to him than you wanting him to fuck you and he would hate the things that you’ve done to him because you have bigger issues in the world than “he would fuck you with his big cock.” LIKE WAKE THE FUCK UP WE COULD BE MAKING ANALYSIS OF HIS CHARACTER BUT INSTEAD YOU THINK THAT HES JUST THERE TO BE EYE CANDY LIKE OMGGGG

just please for the sack of everyone, learn more about his character and stop tryna be antiblack and sex crazed over him. if you love hobie, just stop being the way that you are because it’s honestly disgusting to have to see grown adults wanting a canon minor to fuck them. you ain’t slick, the fact that i even have to write this is disgusting. do better, fandom is more than saying that you would fuck a character, care more about the teenagers on this site that are in the fandom with you as well. stop being selfish and start caring about the other people in the fandom.

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yougotthatbilly · 1 year

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caught up (m)

→ members: jung jaehyun and na jaemin (ft. make a wish line) → genre: angst, smut → playlist: temptations x ryan trey, kiss it better x rihanna, gave your love away x majid jordan, don’t x bryson tiller, wicked games x kiana ledé → word count: 16k → warnings: toxic relationships (oc is dumb in love & delusional for a while), cheating, manipulation, codependency, unhealthy coping mechanisms, trifling friends, a glimpse of oral, unprotected sex (let’s be safe irl pls), praise, etc. | oc is basically chaotic neutral ↳summary: Jaemin is all that you want, all that you need, no matter what. But lines get a bit blurry when you’re introduced to his friends.

“And then he almost busted his ass right in front of her.”

Lucas is embarrassing Shotaro by animatedly telling the story of how Shotaro was trying to be smooth and spit game, yet failed. The man of the hour rolls his eyes, laughing along with everyone else in the kitchen nonetheless, because Lucas is an amazing storyteller.

“I wish y’all could’ve seen the look on her face, oh my God.”

Jaehyun chuckles, shaking his head, but he’s a bit distracted by his curiosity.

Lightly hitting Doyoung on the arm to get his attention, he leans into his friend’s side to quietly ask: “Do you know her?”

You’re leaned against the countertop, chest resting atop your folded arms, not much of your body or outfit shown from his angle aside from the brown turtleneck and the gold jewelry on your wrists, neck, and ears. Completely engaged in what the tall male is telling everyone, you smile and nod, nose scrunching when you laugh.

“Nope,” Doyoung answers with a shrug. “She’s pretty, though.”

Jaehyun scoffs. “She’s gorgeous.”

Before Doyoung can say anything else, Jaemin walks up behind you, hands on your hips. You stand and press your back against his chest, your smile getting more sedated and eyes drooping a little as you rest the back of your head on Jaemin’s shoulder. He whispers something into your ear, lips brushing against the lobe, and then you’re rolling your eyes, the curve of your lips never dropping.

Doyoung really does try to keep his laughter in. Jaehyun side-eyes his friend when things get more intimate, Jaemin kissing your temple. Feels like he’s intruding at this point.

“Wait,” Doyoung says, head tilted. “Aren’t you and-”

“It’s complicated.”

Taeyong, who’s been sitting on the other side of Jaehyun, rolls his eyes. “There’s nothing complicated about her being in love with you and you just using her for sex and companionship, Jaehyun.”

He has a point. Jaehyun has love for her and truly does enjoy her company, so that’s where his friend is wrong, but Jaehyun is kind of stringing her along with how he’s made it clear their bond is too toxic to ever be official again. Yet his actions contradict that. He is very aware that it isn’t healthy, especially for her, but it’s their thing.

“That’s fucked up.”

And if Doyoung of all people is saying something is fucked up, you know it really is.

It is what it is, though.

—

A pair of hands gently grab onto your hips from behind, pulling you back a little, and you stand to full height, melting into your boyfriend. The back of your head against his shoulder gives Jaemin the perfect opportunity to dip down and whisper in your ear, so as not to interrupt Lucas.

“Still doing alright?” Jaemin asks after coming back from the bathroom, pressing his body flush against your back.

For this being your first time meeting his group of friends, you’re doing fine. You didn’t really know what to expect, but you figured they’d be fun to be around since your boyfriend spends most of his free time with them. At first you didn’t want to involve outsiders for a while because it typically gets messy when other people get involved, but yesterday Jaemin told you his friends wanted to come over and watch the game, and it was decided that it was a good time to finally step into his world and you’d stay to meet them. Admittedly, a bit of pride swelled in your chest at the two of you taking your relationship to the next level. To be shown off, in a sense, to the people Jaemin cares a lot about, whose opinions Jaemin values.

It means a lot, especially since things were a bit rough between the two of you a couple weeks ago.

“Yeah, I’m good.” You nod slightly. “I’m having a good time.”

“You wanna finish what they interrupted once they leave?” The blond asks quietly, his soft lips brushing against your ear. You roll your eyes, but still hum in affirmation, to which he laughs at and kisses your temple.

When you tune back into the conversation around you, the story is finished and Shotaro is talking about how his trip back home was. Your eyes wander around, taking in the amount of friends your boyfriend has, and you make eye contact with one of the guys you haven’t heard a peep out of as he’s moving his brown hair out of his eyes. He doesn’t look away, and when you don’t either, his eyebrow lifts.

This is a very attractive friend group.

You nod in lieu of a greeting, to which he grins at before returning the gesture. The guy next to him says something that wipes the grin right off of his handsome face, eyes no longer on you in favor of glaring at his friend. At the break of contact you rejoin the conversation, playing with your boyfriend’s hand and laughing at how the friends all bicker with one another.

“Hey!” A pretty woman with short, dark hair greets after opening the door Jaemin just knocked on. A quick hug between the two is exchanged and when her eyes fall on you she’s smiling wide. “You’re gorgeous, wow. I’m Yeri. Come in!”

You introduce yourself as you kick your Crocs off, then you’re led into the living room to join everyone else. Greetings are exchanged and you get a hug from the red-head you recall being Doyoung’s girlfriend.

Apparently, Jaemin’s friends enjoyed your company and they’d requested you come along to their next game night. Jaemin did his best to persuade you, telling you how the other girlfriends always tag along and how you’d get along with them well, especially since you said you wanted more girly friends and they always go get their nails and lashes done together and so on and so forth. And now here you are.

Jaemin leaves you in the living room to go get the two of you some drinks to catch up since you’d arrived almost an hour late and the red-head plops down next to you.

“Your outfit is so cute,” she gushes, her hand gesturing you from head to toe. “I just love your vibe. Do you mind me asking where you shop?”

Yeri ends up on the other side of who you now know is Joy and conversation flows nicely, even after Jaemin reappears with your drink. He gets sucked into the game Xiaojun is playing, and you guess everyone isn’t here yet because there’s a huge untouched handmade board game in the middle of the floor, little playing pieces to the side, and plastic shot cups on the other side.

You’ve been sipping from your red plastic cup slowly, and halfway into it, two more people walk into the living room. Doyoung and the other guy that came to Jaemin’s. You never caught his name.

They walk in your direction and both women stand up, Joy reaching for Doyoung and Yeri reaching for the brunet. You put the pieces together on who is in a relationship with who since the details weren’t given to you by Jaemin earlier.

“Hey,” the brunet greets you after a quick hug and kiss with Yeri and she’s made her way to the kitchen with the couple, his voice deep and smooth. He takes Joy’s seat. “I forgot to introduce myself last time. I was high as hell.”

“You’re always high as hell,” Jaemin snorts.

Jaehyun side-eyes your boyfriend for a brief second before his attention is back on you.

“Jaehyun.” He sticks his hand out for you, and you grab it, just barely shaking it as you give him your name. His thumb rubs the back of your hand, even after you’re done shaking it. “Sorry, your hands are just really soft.”

You smile politely and thank him, slowly removing your hand from his hold, now using both to hold your cup. Something about his presence makes you breathe a little heavier. You’re not intimidated nor uncomfortable, but his gaze does make your heart beat a little faster.

“She makes her own lotion and shea butter,” Jaemin informs him on your behalf, half paying attention to the interaction, half trying to beat Xiaojun at the basketball game they’re playing. “You should get some for Yeri since her birthday is coming up.”

It’s hard to read the look on Jaehyun’s face when he glances at your boyfriend for a short moment again, but it disappears just as soon as it appeared when he’s looking at you.

“Got a website I can look at?” he asks, body now completely facing you as he pulls his phone out.

“I do.” You nod. “And most of my reviews are on Instagram if you wanna look at those.”

The brunet hands you his phone to type in your business page’s handle.

“Go ahead and follow yourself, too.”

You go to your business page and tap follow before handing him his phone back with your website on the screen. His fingers brush against your own as he takes his device back–which he does slowly–and the look in his eye is curious.

Jaehyun licks his lips before finally paying attention to the phone in his hand, and at the break of contact you find yourself exhaling a bit harder than usual.

Throughout the duration of the night, you catch Jaehyun’s eye. When everyone clinks shot glasses before downing the burning liquid. When you’re simply chilling on your phone, and especially during the smoke session.

When you’re in the kitchen looking for a non-alcoholic drink, Jaehyun walks in, heading straight to the pantry.

“You know,” you begin, waiting until he turns his head to you, “you have a staring problem.”

The slight grin on your face shows him you’re saying it lightheartedly, so he chuckles, grabbing a bag of pretzels before giving you his full attention.

“You don’t seem to mind.” He glances in the direction of everyone else still in the living room before going back to you. “You give me a cute little smile when you catch me.”

“It’s polite to smile when you make eye contact with someone, Jaehyun.”

“It’s hard not to admire you,” Jaehyun admits, opening the bag and leaning against the wall. “But if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll never look at you again.”

You snort at how monotonous the dramatic statement is said and roll your eyes.

“I’m not uncomfortable, I just feel like you’re also trying to figure me out.”

“And if I am?”

You lift a brow and take a much needed sip of cranberry juice. “I’d say good luck. And be careful because your girlfriend is already staring at us.”

He checks and confirms that Yeri is indeed tuned into the conversation that she can’t hear from this distance, then laughs like he’s not surprised.

“It’s innocent,” he claims before popping a pretzel into his mouth. “Everyone knows how I am around new people.”

“And how’s that?”

“Observant.”

You believe it. But it’s clearly a bit deeper than that.

“Well,” you exhale, standing up straight to take your leave. “I hope you don’t get too bored with your… observing.”

It’s not creepy. Not overbearing.

It would be subtle if it weren’t for how often you meet his eye.

Honestly, it’s kind of cute.

Scrolling through your notifications after a much needed nap, a follow as well a message request from user _jeongjaehyun on your personal account catches your attention.

A few of the girls followed you the last time you were with them so you don’t think too hard about it. You follow him back.

hey love. i’d like to put in an order for a couple of lotions if possible

Hey Jaehyun, you can put in the order through that account.

Jaehyun reads the message before you can swipe out of the message thread, so you just wait as he types his response.

my hands will be as soft as yours, right?

You roll your eyes, letting out an amused exhale.

Become a regular customer and you’ll see. If you have any more questions, ask on the other account.

yes ma’am

Soon after, you get a message on your business account from him.

do you deliver or prefer pick ups?

I deliver. I don’t let strangers know where I live lol.

The answers to most of his questions are on your website, but you let him slide. You don’t have anything to do other than a homework assignment that’s due at 11:59 tonight, but you don’t plan on looking at that document for another few hours.

You sit up against your headboard to look through your DMs and answer other people’s questions.

would you consider me a stranger?

I would. But not in a stranger danger way since you’re friends with Jaemin.

Idk I think we’ll be friends soon

You raise your brow at his message, but wait for him to finish typing his next one.

I fwu all of us do

You double tap the last message.

That’s good to know. Lmk if you have any more questions about the lotions.

You whine, throwing a quiet, mini temper tantrum.

Why the hell do you have to take Statistics twice for a Psychology degree? And why did you have to leave your calculator in your room?

But in the midst of your tantrum, you remember Jaemin has that TI 84 calculator app on his phone when you see the device charging.

“Babe!” you call out to him in the kitchen, pushing yourself out of the desk chair to walk to his bed. “Can I use that calculator app on your phone really quickly?”

“Yeah, go ahead!” he responds loudly. “And dinner will be ready in like 10 minutes.”

“Okay, thank you!”

His phone is on 87 percent, which is enough in your book, so you unplug it and plop back into the chair, lifting the device up to your face to unlock it.

You swipe out of the app that’s already opened to get to the app you need, but a bell with a line crossed through it on a message thread catches your eye before the app is gone. There’s a quick internal battle that takes place, part of you wants to respect his privacy, another part reminds you that the last time you looked through his phone to find something, you found exactly what you were looking for. Your brain knows your heart wouldn’t be able to handle bad news right now, especially since the two of you have been doing so well after last time, and your gut tells you that you won’t be happy with what you find.

But the opportunity has presented itself to you a little too perfectly.

You open his messages back up, and right at the top is his muted message thread with Yeri. With your heart already pounding in your chest, you tap it.

Jaemin: Sometimes i wish we had more time

Yeri: it’s okay jaems, we’re still good friends

Jaemin: but I can’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like

Yeri: That’s understandable. You never know what the future holds You have a cool gf now, though.

You recall a conversation from months ago, where he admitted to hooking up with one of his close friends a few times, but you didn’t care to ask questions on specifics, especially when it was before the two of you became official. But now you’re putting the pieces together, and you don’t know if you want to throw his phone at the wall or cry.

The timestamps show this conversation took place right after he came back from her and Seulgi’s apartment earlier, and you don’t have to scroll up to see more of the conversation to know the context. That last message rubs you the wrong way, and the fact he had opened the message but didn’t respond a couple hours ago only furthers the bad feeling.

He had time to before you came over.

You make your way to the kitchen, his phone still in hand, and lean against the counter. Jaemin turns to say something, but you speak up before he gets the chance.

“What exactly is it that you wish you had more time for?”

He tilts his head in confusion. “Huh?”

You open his phone and read, “‘Sometimes I wish we had more time.’ More time for what, Jaemin?”

Panic flashes in his eyes before he composes himself.

“I was just reminiscing about how the group’s dynamic was last year.”

You nod with a hum. “Before me, right?”

He’s choosing his words carefully and taking an awfully long time to do so, which only further confirms what your gut is telling you.

“When all of us could chill with no limitations.”

“She’s the one you fucked, isn’t she?”

You sound insecure and you hate it. But this is the third time he’s put you in a situation where another woman has made you question how Jaemin actually feels about you.

“What?”

You almost mock him, but you control your pettiness. “The friend you told me you fucked. It’s Yeri.”

“Why are you bringing up the past?”

You really hoped you were wrong.

Cutting your eyes at his attempt to flip the script, you drop his phone down onto the countertop carelessly. “Why exactly did you have to mute the conversation?”

“I knew if you saw it you’d think it was something it wasn’t, so I just wanted to avoid it.”

You’re the one tilting your head now, trying to see how that makes even a little bit of sense. Especially when this isn’t the first time you’ve come across muted conversations. It just hits a little harder this time because you’ve been around Yeri multiple times and would consider her an acquaintance at this point. And because you haven’t had (or at least listened to) a gut feeling in a while.

“So instead of just not having the conversation, you decided to hide it. Once again.”

You don’t understand how such simple concepts fail to stick with him. You shouldn’t have to constantly repeat yourself when it comes to voicing what bothers you. Sneaky conversations that one feels the need to hide from their significant other falls under the category of cheating. It’s not rocket science.

“Why do you keep going through my phone?” he tries again. You laugh darkly.

You don’t even bother to respond, you just walk to his room to grab your stuff. He’s hot on your heels the whole way when he realizes flipping the situation on you won’t work this time.

“It really isn’t like that. We were all talking about it when I went over earlier. Just reminiscing about all the late nights and get-togethers but that doesn’t take away from the present.”

“Well,” you laugh, packing your laptop and textbook. “You never know what the future holds.”

“Baby don’t be like that.” Jaemin tries to stop you from gathering your belongings but you dodge his touch as if it would burn your skin. His body blocks his door, hands out as he practically begs you to hear him out. You’re tired of hearing him out and there’s no way in hell you’re staying with him tonight like you two originally planned.

You find yourself at the gym, not quite ready to go back home because you know you’ll cry as soon as your head hits the pillow. So you’re using up the rest of your energy here so you’ll be too tired to even shed when you get back home.

“Not to give unsolicited advice,” you hear a familiar voice say in your direction as you squat down. “but if you’re doing RDLs, your form is off.”

You look at Jaehyun, standing up straight. You regret not stopping by your place to grab your earphones. “What’s off?”

The attitude is strong in your voice and you don’t mean to direct it to him, but why now of all times does he want to cross paths with you at the gym. You’ve literally never seen him here in the three years you’ve attended this university, yet when you’re emotionally fucked up over your boyfriend, his friend who just so happens to be dating the woman who’s also the reason for your mood is here.

“A lot,” he so graciously explains. “I can show you the right form, if you want.”

You almost say no because you don’t want anything to do with Jaemin or anyone he’s associated with right now, but having the wrong form can lead to unpleasant results. Even in your emotional state, you can weigh the importance in matters. You shrug.

You haven’t been seeing the results you expected after two weeks of trying this exercise, since the TikTok girlies rave over it.

And, he’s just trying to help. He isn’t his girlfriend nor your boyfriend.

Jaehyun steps into your bubble of personal space. “Gonna touch you to show you. Cool?”

You nod.

“You sure? You look like you wanna throw a weight at my head,” he jokes, but continues nonetheless.

“Yeah,” you sigh,“ just one of those days.”

His hand presses in between your shoulder blades, his touch cool on your burning skin. “Roll your shoulders back.” You do as told, the hand sliding down slowly to the middle of your lower back. “Your back was too arched, straighten it and tighten your core– yeah like that. You working on glutes?”

Another nod.

“Slightly bend your knees, but keep your posture.” Jaehyun continues to guide you, hand slipping further down to your ass. You look at him through the mirror and he meets your eye before he’s stepping back once you’re positioned correctly. Confusion rises when his hand stays at the level of your butt–thumb up, mid air, a good few steps away. “Push back into my hand.”

“You want me to push my ass into your hand?”

“Yeah.” There’s a silent stare-off through the mirror. “You want to fuck your back up?”

Without a word, you position your weights and push back until you touch his hand, then rise back up to bent knees and a neutral spine. You do it several more times, going slower at the push back when he advises you to do so, and you already feel the difference. There’s a slight burn in your glutes rather than your thighs now and you don’t feel like you’re straining your back.

You finish your rep, Jaehyun having moved his hand away halfway through in favor of eyeing your form.

“Feel better?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “Thanks.”

He nods back, eyes still glued to your body. He’s very clearly checking you out from the back, you feel and see him doing so.

“Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with. I’ll be over there,” he says, pointing to the bench press area. “I can be a listening ear or even a shoulder to lean on.”

He takes his leave and you’re left feeling warm and confused at the better mood you’re in from the short interaction.

Weak.

That’s the best way to describe you, especially right now.

But what else would you do in this very moment, other than pull your boyfriend closer with the hand that’s threaded in his hair, tilting your head to the side to offer him more skin to kiss.

“I’m sorry baby,” Jaemin says for the third time since you opened your door and let him in your apartment. His lips are so gentle on your neck, brushing against your sweet spot. “I wasn’t thinking. It won’t happen again.”

“You promise?” you ask shakily, eyes closing when his teeth softly nip you.

He hums. “Promise. I only want you.”

You wrap both arms around his neck, allowing yourself to be lifted and carried to your bedroom, legs wrapped around Jaemin’s waist. You shower the side of his face in kisses, elated to hear those words come out of your boyfriend’s mouth.

“Really?”

The blond sets you down on your bed, eyes wide and seeming so sincere as he looks down at your seated, awaiting form.

“Let me show you.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Communication was close to nothing today, just him texting you an apology and telling you he loves you before asking if he could stop by to pick up his shoes he left over at your place the other day. You handed them to him as soon as you opened the door, not wanting to see him for long because you knew his presence would interrupt your thoughts about what happened a couple days ago. Jaemin is your weakness, he’s who you crave even when he’s the cause of your sadness and anger.

Hands reached out for him, you cup his face and slant your lips over his when he bends down to your level. The bed dips as his knees sink into the mattress to get close to you, to lay you down and hover over you.

His touch relieves any stress built up within you. His voice soothes any anxiety you feel.

It’s so easy to forgive him when he’s kissing down your body until he gets to the apex of your thighs, pulling your panties off, throwing your legs over his shoulders, and indulging in your taste. When he makes you shiver and come on his tongue.

When he looks down at you with so much desire as he lines his tip up with your entrance.

“Only you, baby,” Jaemin repeats, pushing in with a hiss. “So tight. How could I want anyone else?”

You moan at his promise and praise, making grabby hands at him to bring him into you, to hold him close and tight to you as he thrusts into you. He settles on one forearm by your head before he takes hold of your hip, fingers gripping tightly.

“You mean it?” you whimper in his ear, threading your fingers in his hair.

Jaemin buries his face in your neck, losing himself in the feeling of your walls.

“I don’t need anyone else.” His hips move quicker, the sound of his skin slapping against yours louder than the noises slipping from you. “You don’t need anyone else.”

Your brow furrow in confusion.

Since the moment you met him, you never wanted anyone else. He’s had all of your attention since that night a mutual acquaintance introduced the two of you. He’s had most of your time. All you’ve ever wanted was him, his attention. His love.

“I only need you,” you say around a moan. “You– shit. Jaemin you know that.”

“Just me?”

You nod fast, breath hitching. The force behind his thrusts gets more intense at your validation and all you can do is nod, taking the onslaught of pleasure.

It should just be Jaemin and you.

“You look good in green.”

You raise a brow at the intruding voice, not needing to turn around to know who said it and how you’re being looked at.

“Thanks,” you deadpan.

A deep chuckle sounds closer than his compliment and you look boredly into his eyes when he appears in front of you, on the other side of the kitchen island.

“You don’t fuck with me,” The quirk of your glossy lips steals his attention for a second, you notice. “Have I done something?”

You definitely ignored him the few couple times you crossed paths with him on campus. And didn’t care to play it off like you just didn’t notice him. The situation at the gym wasn’t much, but it was enough.

The touching, the staring. The fact you actually enjoyed it instead of stopping it and just telling him to leave.

It felt like a betrayal to your boyfriend, even after what happened thirty minutes prior to seeing Jaehyun. Even after multiple instances of your boyfriend being overly friendly and attention seeking with other women, and disrespecting your relationship.

The guilt made you pretend Jaehyun didn’t exist. If you saw him while walking, no you didn’t.

And you chalked it up to just enjoying the external validation. It’s nice to know you’re still sought after while in a relationship, especially when the man you’re with has a habit of admiring women outside of what the two of you have.

But you’re not petty. Not one to try and get even. If you forgive Jaemin and accept his apology, you have to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that after seeing how badly his actions hurt you, he won’t do it again.

Every relationship has its ups and downs. What you’re experiencing is normal. You’ve seen worse. Your parents’ and siblings’ relationships have suffered so much more.

Plus, Jaemin’s young. A couple years younger than you. He’s going to fuck up and he deserves grace. You love each other.

“Jaehyun,” you start, putting your phone down to give him the attention he clearly wants from you right now. “I don’t want to play this game.”

You’re not in the mood. The only reason you’re here at Lucas’ place with everyone is because you told him you’d be there for his pre-birthday celebration and you’re not one to go back on your word. Even when you and your boyfriend aren’t on the best of terms because of a dumb argument that took place earlier. You stepped away from everyone so you could regroup with yourself and continue to put on your best face. Not to have a one on one with Jaemin’s friend who clearly wants you and doesn’t care about any of the relationships or friendships involved between the two of you.

Jaehyun has the audacity to put on a confused expression, but that unimpressed look on his face seems to never disappear. “What game?”

“You have a girlfriend.” You remind him instead of doing exactly what you just said you wouldn’t do, settling your forearms on the marble to lean against it. The brunet mirrors your position, his hand almost touching your own and face a lot closer than it should be. You hate to admit it, but he smells amazing.

“Not really.”

And if you had any doubts about what was so clearly obvious, his response definitely wiped them out. “Am I really that tempting?”

He grins. “Guess I’m not as slick as I thought I was.”

From the unfiltered stares of appreciation to the amount of compliments he’s given you since you were introduced, you both know he wasn’t trying to be slick. Not to mention you’ve yet to hear him compliment any of the other women in the friend group as much, including his girlfriend. It’s unclear if Jaemin is just blind to how Jaehyun basically undresses you with his eyes right in front of him, to how Shotaro always finds himself next to you, subtly flirting, or to Lucas always giving you lingering hugs. Or maybe your boyfriend is aware and just doesn’t care because he trusts his friends. Knowing Jaemin, though, if he’s aware of it all, it gives his Leo ass an ego boost.

“You weren’t trying to be slick, Jaehyun.” And if he was, you’d hate to see what him being obvious is like.

“You’re right,” he nods slowly. “I really wasn’t.”

There’s no denying he’s handsome and his laid back nature is cool to be around, and you’re sure he pulls a lot of women off of those two details alone, but you’re literally his friend’s girlfriend.

“Is the whole friend group this triflin’?”

Jaehyun rubs his lips together, chuckling dryly. “You’d be surprised.”

You don’t think you’d be. You had a feeling with the lack of subtlety. Putting it all into perspective, though, it makes you wonder.

But you don’t want to entertain the question that pops into your brain.

This is why you don’t do friend groups.

“Fucking me isn’t worth your relationship or friendship with Jaemin.”

He looks like he wants to laugh, and that further annoys you.

“Do Jaemin and I seem close to you?” They don’t. You’ve seen them interact, but you can’t remember ever just seeing the two of them together. Lucas or Xiaojun have always been with them, if not the whole group. “And again, I do not have a girlfriend.”

“You may not have a girlfriend,” you point to him before pointing to yourself, “but I have a boyfriend who is literally a room away. I’m not getting in the middle of a piss war or filling a void for you.”

He lets out an amused exhale. “That’s what you think this is?”

“I don’t give a fuck what this is,” you tell him irritably, grabbing your belongings, now ready to go back into the living room. You just wanted a little break from interacting with everyone but you could barely get it. “I won’t be a part of it.”

Jaehyun puts his hands up, surrendering, and you take that as your cue to leave the kitchen.

—

“Wow,” Lucas whistles as he opens his front door after someone knocks. “Since when do you have this much time to be around us?”

You glance up and Jaehyun is side-eyeing Lucas while he kicks his shoes off. When you see his head turning in your direction, you look at Joy, taking the blunt she holds out for you.

While scrolling through your explore page, a notification of a new direct message appears at the top of your phone. From _jeongjaehyun.

can I talk to you in the kitchen rq?

You keep scrolling.

Until you get another message from the same person.

I want to apologize. please?

You take a glance at Jaemin, whose attention is on rolling a blunt.

“Hey,” you whisper, tapping Shotaro’s arm. “Is it cool if I get a water bottle?”

He nods, blowing smoke in the opposite direction. “Cold in the fridge, room temp in the pantry.”

What can you say? Your curiosity won. You want to see what kind of apology the brunet will deliver, if it’s sincere.

Thanking him quietly, you stand up and make your way to the kitchen to get a bottle out of the pantry. A few sips in, Jaehyun finally steps in, getting a cold water bottle from the fridge. You simply stare at him until he says something, and he does the same. And even after last time’s interaction, his elevator eyes don’t make you uncomfortable.

“Even though I meant everything I said last time,” he begins, twisting the cap off. You almost laugh. This is off to a great start. “I wasn’t thinking about the position it put you in and it was fucked up.”

“It was,” you agree, leaning against the pantry door.

“I apologize for that. I fuck with you and wanted to shoot my shot, so I did,” Jaehyun explains, “but I know where you stand and I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just wanna be friends.”

“No funny shit?”

“Scouts honor.”

Your brow raises. “You were a scout?”

“Absolutely not,” Jaehyun laughs.

“Then your word means shit,” you scoff, fighting a smile. It’s a half-assed apology in your book, but seeing how he communicates with everyone else, short and to the point unless he has some liquor in his system, you think it might be genuine. So you accept it. Plus, you like that he wanted to apologize in person and not over social media. ”But I’ll take it.”

“We good?” he asks skeptically before drinking half of his bottle in one go.

You hum in affirmation, moving your attention away from his Adam’s apple as he swallows. “We’re good.”

If you’re being honest, the main reason you decided to hear him out is because he’s popped up in your mind more times than you’d like to admit. You haven’t seen him since that night you shut him down, which was two weeks ago, and even though you stand on everything you said, there’s still some gravitational pull when it comes to Jaehyun. You enjoy his presence. There’s a safe, yet exciting feeling that he brings.

And ’friends’ is perfect.

“Now I can put my order in,” he says with a smile.

You suck your teeth. “The order you were supposed to put in like a month ago?”

“Hush. I’m getting to it.”

The two of you leave the kitchen laughing to yourselves and rejoin your respective partners, Jaehyun sitting at a bit of a distance yet still throwing an arm behind Yeri’s shoulder on the couch cushions, you cuddling into Jaemin, who’s been looking at you since you emerged from the kitchen.

Your boyfriend holds you close, hand drifting down to your ass to give a playful squeeze. You lightly hit his chest with a laugh before he dips down to give you a lingering kiss.

“Wanna leave early?” he asks in your ear.

“Why?” you ask, already knowing what the tone in his voice reflects. “What do you have in mind?”

“I’d just rather be with you, watching a movie right now.”

Your brows lift in surprise. You never thought you’d hear those words come out of his mouth. He loves being out and around with his friends.

“We can go now,” you tell him, making him laugh and sit up.

“Let’s go, then.”

Becoming friends with Jaehyun has been interesting. He’s blunt and short with his words most times, he’s got a nonchalant, cocky air to him, yet he’s still such a down to earth, kind of nerdy guy. After his apology, it was easy to click with him.

Oh, and he still has a staring problem.

If you’re in the same room or crossing paths around campus, Jaehyun always makes sure to catch your eye. He nods in acknowledgement most times, sometimes licking his lips before getting back to what he was doing, sometimes grinning a little. Sometimes walking with you to your destination if it isn’t out of the way of his own.

The worst part about it all, you’ve come to enjoy it.

You don’t mind when Jaehyun’s looking at you like you’re the only other person around him. You enjoy when he comes up to you to speak, greeting you, complimenting your appearance.

You didn’t mind the first time he leaned in for a hug when everyone got together at his apartment when he opened the door for you. And how every meeting since then has come with an embrace that momentarily leaves you stuck because whatever cologne he wears smells so good. He gives firm, tight hugs that let you know it’s not just a polite gesture, that he wants to wrap you in his arms and he enjoys it.

But you know you should mind it. You should care. You shouldn’t like it.

Which is why you initially set that boundary weeks ago before he apologized. You were being a good girlfriend.

There’s something about him, though. There’s a different side you’ve gotten to see recently. The way he speaks about aliens, after life, and conspiracy theories to you and Joy when you’re all high, in your own corner of wherever the group meets up that night while everyone else is on their phones or talking about superficial and trivial things.

Jaehyun’s the complete opposite of Jaemin. Down to their astrological signs.

He’s older, more mature, more authentic.

Each time you join your boyfriend in hanging out with everyone, you find yourself with Jaehyun and Joy, hardly paying attention to anyone else, mostly paying attention to the Aquarius.

The three of you have gotten pretty close outside of everyone else, much to your surprise. Sometimes in between classes you and Joy will get lunch together, and there are times when Jaehyun joins.

You’ve yet to be completely alone with him. But that’s about to change.

You knock on Jaehyun’s door, his order of lotion and shea butter in your hold. The door opens soon after, Jaehyun looking down at you with low, red eyes and a grin.

“About time.”

Rolling your eyes, you push the gift bag into his stomach. “Be happy I didn’t scam you.”

He wraps an arm around you and you lean into him, using your free arm to encircle his waist.

Taking the package out of your hold with his free hand as he releases you, he offers you the joint pinched between his fingers. “You coming in?”

An excuse to get back home is on the tip of your tongue because your brain is telling you it isn’t a good idea to be alone and high with the man before you, but you’re reaching out to grab it and stepping into his home anyway.

Jaemin is busy for most of the day with classes and basketball with Lucas and Shotaro, and all you’d be doing in your room is work or scrolling through social media.

“Wanna smoke in here or on the balcony?” he asks when you’ve made it to the living room.

“I’m surprised you didn’t offer your room,” you joke, taking a hit and making yourself comfortable on his couch. He follows suit, sitting unnecessarily close to you on his very big, very spacious sofa.

“I don’t smoke in my room but we could find something else to do if that’s where you wanna go.”

You hit his arm with hardly any force and he laughs, stealing the joint from you.

“Any plans for the rest of the day?” Jaehyun asks before taking a drag.

You hum, thinking. “I have an assignment due tonight but other than that, not really.”

“Do you wanna start this show with me then? I think you’d like it.” He pulls the show up on Netflix and you see it’s a show you’ve been meaning to watch, but keep pushing it aside. A show you asked Jaemin to start with you, but he wasn’t interested at all.

The show falls into the category of conversations that have been held between you and Jaehyun–plus Joy. It’s about a woman who resurfaces after she’d been missing for seven years and can miraculously see, despite being blind before her disappearance.

You nod, taking the joint back. “Yeah. I gotta leave by 5, though.”

“You could always do your assignment here,” Jaehyun offers.

Tempting. But you have to go to the library for this assignment.

“Maybe next time.”

He doesn’t push the matter. He just presses play and throws an arm around your shoulders, sinking into the cushions to get comfortable. You make yourself do the same, curling your legs to the empty side of you.

By the time the second episode is playing, you’re leaning into Jaehyun’s body subconsciously, the both of you so into what’s happening before you. The joint has been smoked, what remains of it sits in the ashtray on the side table. He mutters little comments and questions every once in a while, his deep voice lulling you into a space that you’re becoming too comfortable in.

“I have a bad feeling about that,” Jaehyun voices your exact thought.

You glance up at him in slow, exaggerated shock. “I was just about to say that.”

He laughs at your reaction, then there’s a silent stare off for a few beats that you can’t seem to pull away from. And just like that, you forget there’s a show that requires your attention playing ahead.

“You have really pretty eyes,” he compliments in such a gentle voice your gut turns.

“Thank you.”

His orbs go from your eyes, to your mouth, and back up to your eyes, and it’s so clear what’s going on in his brain. He doesn’t act on it, which you’re grateful for, letting you know that even with the suggestive jokes and less than platonic feelings he’s brought to your attention, he never crosses the line.

You’re grateful because you really don’t know if you’d have the will power to push him away.

Jaehyun looks at you in a way you’ve never experienced before. You can’t quite put your finger on what’s different, but you do recognize desire.

And you’re saved by the alarm you set earlier for 5 o’clock.

“You sure you can’t watch another episode before you leave?” Jaehyun asks, not letting you pull away to turn the alarm off just yet, his arm tightening around you. “Wanna spend some more time with you.”

“I’ve got a 5-page paper to write that I haven’t even written the title on,” you explain, touched by his confession. You sigh, getting out of his hold when the sound of the alarm becomes annoying. It’s not that you don’t want to stay here and binge the show. “I’m free Thursday after 3?”

Bit of a dangerous game to play, but you have enough self control. You just might not smoke the next time.

“I’ll see you Thursday after 3, then,” he agrees easily. “Let me walk you out.”

The hug he gives you before you get into your car lingers, both arms wrapping around your upper back and holding you close, a subtle side to side rock. With the side of your face flush to his chest, arms encircling his middle and hands flat against his back, feeling the way his muscles flex beneath your palms, you hum in contentment. Jaehyun really gives the best hugs.

“Thanks for watching the show with me,” he says before slowly peeling his body away.

“Thank you for asking me to.” It means a lot.

Jaehyun’s eyes flicker to your mouth as he licks his lips. “You should leave before I try to convince you to watch a couple more episodes with me.”

“Yeah,” you agree, backing up to open your car door. “I should leave before I’m convinced.”

With a grin, he nods. “Drive safe, pretty.”

His scent is still on you and strong when you’re driving back home to pick your laptop up. When you’re curled up in a solo booth typing away at your laptop. And a soft smile lingers throughout the whole night.

The sound of an Instagram message interrupts the music you’re playing as you fill in your eyebrow. With a sigh at the interruption in your flow, you peer over to see if it’s a potential new customer.

Instead, it’s on your main page from a user you’ve never seen before.

You tap it since you’re already here. And your heart drops to your stomach.

Hey girl. I wasn’t going to say anything but you seem like a nice person so I would feel bad if I didn’t. Your boyfriend has been in my dms for a while. And he came home with my roommate last night

The fact that you trust him when he says he’s out with the boys and make it a point to not check his location unless he’s running late to come see you makes you smile humorlessly to yourself. You’ve been fighting off that gut feeling to check, telling yourself it’s just your anxiety and trust issues. That you’re past that stage in your relationship. He’s committed solely to you now.

You blink at the message, reading it over a couple times before letting out a dry laugh. You don’t doubt her at all, but if you’re going to approach him about anything, you need proof. That way he can’t lie to you the way he’s done in the past.

Could you show me what he’s been saying?

A couple of minutes later, a few screenshots are sent to you. They consist of Jaemin swiping up with heart eyes emojis as well as the exasperated emoji, him asking for her Snapchat and her asking ‘don’t you have a girlfriend?’ to which he replied honestly to, and her saying he can hit her back up when he is single but not when he’s in a relationship. The timestamps show you that he has been at it on and off for a little over a month now. The last message from him is asking her to link, to which she politely declined.

You respect it. You’re not mad at her thanking him when he sent heart eyes or compliments. Honestly, you don’t even think you feel any anger at all right now. You feel numb.

You save the screenshots to your phone.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Have a great day.

You and Jaemin have plans to go out to eat and grocery shopping, and you’re still going to get a meal and free groceries no matter what news was given to you just now. Especially after the news you were just given. You’ve always been a great actress when need be. So you finish your make up and get dressed in a cute, casual two piece outfit that you know is one of Jaemin’s favorites.

He’s still not here by the time you’re done getting ready, and instead of taking the time to think about the situation like you probably should, your thumb moves mindlessly across your phone screen and taps on a message thread.

[3:25] you: Are you gonna be busy later?

[3:26] jung: what time?

You exhale deeply at his fast reply.

[3:28] you: Like 6

[3:28] jung: no. wassup?

You grin to yourself.

[3:29] you: Bet. I’ll see you then

[3:30] jung: uh [3:32] jung: okay? [3:32] jung: to watch our show?

You don’t bother responding. You let him know you’d be there and that’s all he needs to know right now. And honestly, you didn’t think this far into the conversation. What would you even reply with? Oh I found out Jaemin is a piece of shit so I’m probably about to go over there and do something to get over it. Not that you think Jaehyun would even have a problem with that blunt response or being used for his attention to fill a void within you now. Your pride makes you hold the information in because the tables have turned.

And then the sound of your doorbell sounds throughout the apartment.

With a pretty smile on your face, you answer the door and greet your boyfriend, who hums in appreciation at the sight in front of him, and stand on your tiptoes to give him a hug and kiss. He grabs your ass in the midst of the embrace and you feel sick at the action, but you swallow it down.

“Ready?” Jaemin asks.

You thought you could make it through food and groceries, but with him standing in front of you, you realize you can’t.

You want to be out of his presence as soon as possible.

“Can we chill for a little? I’ve got a headache.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Jaemin agrees easily, stepping in and closing the door behind him. He kicks his shoes off before leading you to the couch and holding you close. “You just got it or has it been a while?”

“Got it about half an hour ago,” you sigh, doing your best to remain calm in his hold. Especially when he kisses your temple.

Your heart is beating fast, but you still don’t feel angry.

You always feel anger when you catch him.

All you feel is hurt. Embarrassed.

“I wanna show you something,” you mumble, unlocking your phone. His attention goes to the device and he watches you go to your photos and tap the recent photo album before pulling up the conversation.

You hold it up closer to his face so he can really see it.

And his face drops.

You don’t yell. You barely raise your voice. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Jaemin?”

He just blinks stupidly and starts to stutter. “I-I don’t know.”

“How many times have we gone through this?” you ask, throwing your phone aside. “Why do you keep doing dumb shit like this?”

“I didn’t mean it,” he tries to defend himself. “I was just bored and–”

You laugh humorlessly at that. “You must’ve been really bored last night when you were supposedly at the library with the guys, huh?”

“We didn’t do anything,” Jaemin responds, trying to convey his truth with his eyes. The first couple of times you felt bad for making him look so dejected, but the fact this conversation has happened multiple times just because he doesn’t know how to not be thirsty and not try to outsource when you’re not around or when the two of you have a disagreement is enough for empathy to no longer exist. It’s not like he cared about you when he was in the moment.

“So not only have you embarrassed me by having our pictures pinned on your page and constantly in bitch’s messages, but you actually go home with someone and get caught, then it gets reported to me out of pity. ” You conclude the event just so he can hear how shitty he is.

“We only kissed. I felt bad and we stopped there.”

You blink. “You expect me to believe that?”

“I swear that’s all that happened.”

You shake your head. Part of you only believes he didn’t actually get his dick wet because he has no game, but unfortunately, if he pulled you off his good looks and good naturedness, it’s very probable women on campus who have the ‘if she’s not my friend, he’s single’ mindset will fuck him. “You can go now.”

Jaemin panics. “Can we talk about this, please?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you deadpan, scooting out of his hold and looking at your stove to see the time.

He reaches for you, and you dodge his touch by standing up and walking to the door, looking at him expectantly.

“Baby, please.”

“I have somewhere to be soon.” Jaemin stands, trying again to touch your hand when he should know the last thing you want from him right now is his touch. “I’m not gonna waste my breath trying to convince you that I don’t deserve this and that out of respect for you I don’t even open messages from guys I don’t know, again. I don’t have anything else to say to you. Goodbye.”

“I know you’re faithful and I know I fucked up and I’m so sorry,” Jaemin exasperates. “Let me make it up to you? I promise it won–”

“Go, Jaemin.”

Head down, Jaemin finally listens. He slips his Crocs on when he gets to the front door, gives you one more pitiful look while giving an apology that you don’t even listen to. You lock the door behind him and head to the bathroom to freshen up.

[4:02] you: I’m actually omw now

[4:03] jung: ok

—

It only takes a few seconds for you to hear the lock turn after you knock on his door. Jaehyun’s hair is messy and even with confusion written all over his face, he looks even better than the last time you saw him. Gray sweat-shorts and a white wife-beater never looked so good on a man.

After a moment of you finally appreciating the view in front of you without nagging thoughts or guilt and him analyzing you, he speaks.

“You found out, didn’t you?”

And that’s all it takes for the thoughts to go away and to spark anger within you. He knew. Of course he knew. You’re sure he knows shit that hasn’t been brought to your attention, too.

“You’re a piece of shit for not telling me.”

He grins. “Me blatantly telling you I wanted you and continuing to show you should’ve told you everything you needed to know.”

“So you pick and choose when to follow bro code?” you scoff, walking passed him and into the living room. “Fucking your friend’s girlfriend is better than telling her about him doing shit behind her back now?”

He follows behind you after shutting and locking the front door.

“I don’t follow ‘bro code’ for associates… Plus he fucked my ex, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“So I’m revenge pussy?”

“How did you come to that con–”

“So y’all just share pussy within the group,” you hum in faux understanding, plopping down on the beige couch.

“Last time I checked, we’ve never had sex?”

“But you’ve made it very clear you want to fuck me.”

He says your name in a humorless laugh, not at all in the mood for your deflecting. “I know you didn’t come here to fuss at me. So why are you here?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you ask, your mind barely even taking in what he just said to you. You thought the two of you were close enough.

The brunet sits on the opposite end of the couch. His demeanor changes, voice softer and tone genuine now that you’re not trying to chew his head off and you’re more hurt than angry now. “By the time I was told, you already made plans to come over here.”

“Would you have told me?”

He shrugs. “Probably, I don’t know. Would you have believed me? After I’ve been hitting on you this whole time?”

You want to continue being upset, but you can’t even be mad at his reasoning. At him at all. He’s not the one that did you dirty.

You don’t know if you would have believed him if he did try to tell you, honestly. Yeah, you’ve created a (mostly) platonic bond and consider him a friend at this point, but he’s right. Jaehyun’s never stopped his desires from being shown or spoken on, only diluting them. And you’ve always had a hard time accepting the truth.

You sigh. “I can understand that.”

He scoots closer to you and gives you a moment to recenter yourself, speaking softly when he says, ”Answer my first question now.”

“You were just the first person that came to mind.” You shrug, not making eye contact with him.

“While I believe you,” he says, “I know you didn’t come here to talk about him.” Any time you’ve been together, your boyfriend is hardly mentioned. “So what is it?”

Aside from setting up the second time to meet at his place and watch tv, you’ve never invited yourself over, always accepting an invitation. Of course it’s obvious.

You shake your head. Adrenaline no longer pumping, you don’t have half the balls you did when you texted him or when you knocked on his door.

“He hurt your feelings so you came here, right?” he asks slowly, head tilting.

“Yeah,” you mumble.

“And you want me to help you feel better?” Jaehyun puts the final pieces together. He doesn’t pity you, which you appreciate, but it’s clear in his voice that he doesn’t want to piss you off again with his assumption, even though you both know he guessed right.

Your heart hurts. Being here, in Jaemin’s friend’s (acquaintance?) apartment, considering getting lost in him to feel better because you just know he has exactly what you need right now isn’t a healthy coping mechanism, but the opportunity had presented itself to you even before the additional heartbreak.

Then you remember another heart could get broken.

“What’s up with you and Yeri?” you ask. He’s told you on multiple occasions that they are not together, but actions speak so much louder than words and you know a couple, or at least two individuals who are intimately involved with one another when you see it.

“I told you, she’s not my girlfriend.”

“But does she know that?” you push the matter. The way Yeri looks at him, so full of love and admiration even as he pays very little attention to her.

“We cut off anything more than a friendship like two weeks ago.” At your skeptical look, he adds on, “promise.”

Promises don’t mean shit to you at this point, if the ring still on your finger says anything. “Officially?”

Jaehyun moves to pull his phone out of his back pocket, unlock it, and tap a few things before handing the device to you. It’s their message thread, the last few messages from last Friday.

yeri: i’m gonna need some space to really get over everything before going back to being just friends but i don’t want anyone to feel awkward

you: take your time. they’ll understand

“Anything else?” he asks at your acknowledging hum, setting the phone on the coffee table when you hand it back. “We can watch our show or something if you want.”

You scoot closer to him this time, to the point of your thighs touching, and he drapes his arm behind you and patiently waits as your thoughts come to a stopping point. You lean into his embrace and look up at him, eyes going straight to his mouth.

“Yeah, we can watch it,” you finally respond, resting your head on his shoulder.

Nodding, Jaehyun turns on the TV and scrolls through Netflix to find it.

“Let me turn the lights off,” he mutters, waiting until you lift your head to get up and do so. He sits leaned against the arm of the chair, legs spread wide and body slumped. Tilting his head, he invites you into his space.

You check your phone for the time and scroll up a bit to see you have a couple of missed texts from Jaemin. You’re sure it’s the typical apology texts you’ve gotten every time you caught him, so you turn your phone off before you set the device and your purse beside his own belongings on the coffee table. You fit yourself in between Jaehyun’s legs, your upper back against his chest and the back of your head on his shoulder, and you almost sigh when he wraps an arm around you. Fresh linen mixed with that underlying masculine scent you’ve gotten used to with him toeing the line of acting like you’re his friend’s girlfriend and you’re the woman he’s interested in is so comforting you find yourself spaced out.

You don’t know why you’re trying to bullshit yourself right. You don’t give a damn about this show right now.

You’d been attracted to this man and under his spell since the first couple of meetings. Actually befriending him was conflicting, the flirting and glances and touches that didn’t overstep any boundaries but were so close to doing so. You were being a good girlfriend by dismissing him and downplaying interactions. You don’t have to do that anymore. Jaemin’s bullshit was just the cherry on top to have you fall into Jaehyun’s lap. All of the cards you’ve been dealt have led you to his apartment, and you aren’t stepping on anyone’s toes being here.

You deserve a little fun.

And he doesn’t seem to take you seriously enough for either of you to get hurt from one night together. He’s perfectly fine with being a rebound, and you’re basically in the same boat. You know what they say, to get over someone…

Tilting your head, you look up at him, waiting a few seconds until he returns your gaze.

“What’s up?” Jaehyun asks, his attention going back to the show when you don’t answer after a couple of seconds. You lift a hand to gently grab the back of his head, guiding his face down to yours. There’s a slight grin on his face as he allows you to move his head, and you feel it when you tilt your chin up to finally slant your lips over his.

This is what you’d been depriving yourself of. The slow passes of Jaehyun’s lips on yours, the firm, yet gentle hold that keeps you close to his body, the warmth that instantly builds in your stomach. It’s so different. Kisses with Jaemin can be rushed and sloppy most times when sex is on his mind, even suffocating. Here, there’s no rush to get to you undressed, just you getting comfortable with one another and you caressing his scalp with your fingertips. Just gradually building passion.

He lightly licks your bottom lip, and then your tongues are getting acquainted. He tastes like mint as the muscles slowly circle around one another, making your body heat up and a whimper leaks out of you.

Kisses move from your lips to your cheek, trailing lower. You let him kiss, lick, and suck his way up and down your neck, lolling your head further to the side with a low moan.

“We’re doing this?” he asks, dragging his tongue up to your ear. And the moment the wet muscle circles around your ear, you realize how sensitive they are and suck in a breath at the feeling. “I need words.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut. When his tongue dips in and just lightly swirls, your fingers grip his hair tighter.

“Yeah?” he prompts quietly, sucking on your earlobe. The arm around you loosens, his hand sliding up your stomach, stopping at your chest to fondle your breast. You nod, pushing your chest into his hand while guiding him to kiss your lips again.

“Yes,” you hiss against his lips. That’s all you want. You want Jaehyun to take the heartache away, even if just temporarily. You’ve done enough contemplating and Jaehyun seems to agree.

He kisses you rougher, his tongue not as nice as before and takes over, leaving you no choice but to just moan and let him raid your mouth while he pinches and pulls at your nipple.

His other hand drifts lower, fingertips skimming over your dangling belly button ring, then he flips the front of your skirt up. You spread your legs, giving him more room. His light touch tickles your inner thigh and you break away from the kiss, panting. The difference between his rough tugging on your chest and featherlike, almost teasing fingers so close to the wet seat of your panties makes your head spin.

Head back on his shoulder, your eyes lift up to the ceiling as you process the position the two of you are in and the feeling of Jaehyun’s digits circling around your clothed entrance. He knows exactly where to touch you, like this isn’t the first time you’ve allowed yourselves to be in this situation, like he’s had the time to learn your body. His hands and his mouth, the tone of his voice and the undeniable chemistry between the two of you gets you worked up so quickly you’re actually surprised.

When the seat of your panties is drenched to Jaehyun’s liking and you let out a needy whine, he moves the fabric aside. Teasingly tapping your clit, you both watch the string of arousal that stretches from your cunt to his fingertips. You haven’t been this turned on in so long, you’re sensitive and so close to becoming impatient, but at the same time you’re basking in the attention.

“Yeah, he’s a dumbass,” Jaehyun mutters to himself, continuing to play with your wetness. Two digits dip into your entrance, just barely sinking in one knuckle deep. He repeats this for a while, thoroughly enjoying how wet you are just for him.

“Jaehyun,” you moan. “Please do something.”

He listens, pushing both fingers into you instantly and it makes you gasp. The hand on your breast slides up to your chin to guide your mouth back to his. His tongue dances with your own as he swallows the whines and whimpers you let out.

The wet smacks resonating throughout the living room get louder and louder, his thrusts getting faster and rougher.

“Fuck,” you cry, pulling away to catch your breath. You look down in between your legs and the sight only brings a tightness to your lower abdomen. The angle is perfect, his palm smacking your clit each time his fingers sink deep into you. “Right there. Right there.”

“Mm, right here?” His deep voice vibrates your back. “You gonna come?”

You nod violently, your walls already starting to clench around his digits. You cry in affirmation.

“Let it out, baby. I got you.” His movements speed up even more and the friction of his palm on your clit is more intentional now. “Come all over my fingers.”

You reach for something to grab, your hand coming in contact with the top of the cushion beside you and you grip it as hard as you can. The pleasure in your clit intensifies and your legs automatically move to shut, but your knees don’t even touch because Jaehyun uses his free hand to tug your leg back onto the cushions.

Your hips roll out of sync with the thrusts of his hands to chase the orgasm that’s so close you can taste it, and Jaehyun reads you and your body language so well it would scare you if your head wasn’t so high in the cloud. His tongue swirls around your ear, giving your body that final push to release.

The moan you let out as your lower body shakes sounds like a cry and the man under you just eats it up, groaning under you, rubbing his erection against your back for some type of friction as he draws your orgasm out with the heel of his hand on your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Jae-” You try to tell him it’s so close to becoming too much yet the feeling is so addicting you don’t want it to stop, but your words die when you feel another intense wave of pleasure wash over you. “Oh fuck. Please.”

“One more time before I fuck you?” he asks, so composed—the complete opposite of you. He grabs your face and makes you look at him, smiling at your lewd grimace. “One more time. You can do it.”

You can and you immediately do at his encouragement. “Oh my fucking God.”

“That’s it,” he continues to encourage, finally slipping his fingers out before it becomes too much. His hand comes up to your mouth and your mouth opens without a thought, letting him stick his wet digits in and giving you a taste of the mess you made. “So good for me.”

You nod, agreeing. You’ll do anything he wants at this point and he knows it.

“Do you taste good, baby?”

You roll your tongue around and in between his fingers and moan in lieu of an answer, to which Jaehyun smiles at before carefully removing his fingers and replacing them with his tongue in a filthy kiss.

He strips you of your clothing before you’re maneuvered to turn and straddle his lap, the lip lock only breaking for a second before you grab the sides of his face and take the lead. Jaehyun easily lets you, giving you his tongue to suck into your mouth as he moves to settle straight up against the cushions.

Your essence is dripping down your inner thighs, your pussy clenching around air, in desperate need of him. You rise up to your knees to give you room to stick a hand down the front of his pants. The two of you moan in unison when you wrap your fingers around his dick. Backing away from the kiss, you look down, using your other hand to pull the waistband down as you pull him out of his shorts.

He’s the perfect size and you almost cry because you’ve really been blocking your blessings for a man that isn’t worth it.

You claw his shorts down to his knees and he takes care of the rest, kicking them off when he gets them to his ankles.

“Go ahead.” Jaehyun licks his lips, eyes lidded and dark. “Sit on it. You can use me to get even.”

You spit in your hand before wrapping it back around his dick, pumping a few times to get him wet.

“It’s not like that.”

Lifting up a bit more, you guide his tip to your entrance. You take your time sinking down on his dick, holding the base while balancing yourself with the other hand on his shoulder. He stretches you out with a pleasurable sting, making you hiss as more inches disappear inside you. Adjusting your feet so that they’re resting against his inner thighs for support, you push down until he bottoms out, and both of you are moaning at the delicious feeling.

“What is it like then?” Jaehyun asks as you lift his shirt up and off of his body.

It takes a few practice rises and falls to get adjusted to him and you take your time, to which the man beneath you appreciates. He can feel all of you, groaning deep in his chest.

“I want— mm— I already wanted you,” you confess, to which he smiles knowingly at. He just wanted to hear you say it. “Fuck you’re so big.”

“So fucking tight,” Jaehyun rasps, melting into the cushions behind him. He just admires the view of you riding him, the wet, sticky sound the action makes when he’s deep inside of you. Enjoys the feeling of you sucking him in greedily like your cunt refuses to let him slip out. Jaehyun’s encouraging words urge you to fuck yourself on his cock a little faster, harder, moans getting louder each time you bottom out. “Just like that.”

A deep groan of his name comes from the back of your throat. You can hardly think, let alone about what caused you to be in this very situation, but you can feel the tension and built up emotions loosen more and more the longer you lose yourself in the feeling of your walls being stretched around Jaehyun.

“I’m gonna come,” you whine.

“Yeah?” Jaehyun slouches into the couch even more, running his hands up your thighs to reach and grab the top of your ass for leverage so he can fuck up into you, meeting your thrusts half way. The power behind his strokes causes you to go momentarily cross-eyed, eyes unfocused and brows furrowed at the overwhelming feeling of your orgasm approaching even faster now.

“Fuck,” you squeal, unable to move, which Jaehyun easily accepts and completely takes over.

“Want you to come all over me,” he grunts out, voice strained. His stare burns your face and your eyes focus back on his handsome face. Jaw clenched, the brunet’s hold changes to your hips to slam your lower body down until you do just as he said, a loud cry echoing in his spacious living room. Tears fall down your cheeks, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your body convulses and Jaehyun just talks you through it. You fall into him, the side of your face landing on the couch, fingers gripping the cushions for dear life. You barely hear the words coming out of his mouth, every few words registering in the midst of your whines.

His thrusts slow to a stop and your mind is fuzzy as he showers your throat in kisses, hands caressing your waist.

You lean back in his lap, his tip pressing further into the spot within you causing both of you to moan in unison. You caress his face, swallowing hard and breathing deeply to catch your breath for a few beats before slanting your lips over his again.

He guides you to grind against him, hands on your hips pulling you into him then pushing you back in a steady motion. Your moans die out in his mouth. His tip just continues to hit your g-spot, your clit rubs against his pelvic bone and it feels so good you have to break away from his mouth.

Your eyes meet and the contact doesn’t break, your mouth open as deep exhales and whimpers slip out. The room feels hotter, your skin feels stickier, but you just keep grinding and basking in the pleasure until you’re ready for more. Ready for him to come.

With wobbly limbs, you climb off of him, sinking your knees into the cushions and draping your upper body along the top of the couch, your cheek resting on your arm as you watch Jaehyun stand up and position himself behind you with one knee on the sofa, stroking his cock.

“You still want more?” he asks, tapping his tip on your ass.

“Want you to come.” You push your hips back, already becoming impatient.

“Yeah?” Jaehyun rubs his tip through the mess that pools over your entrance. “Where do you want me to come, baby?”

“Inside me,” you moan. “Please?”

He’ll give you whatever you want. You know as much.

“Give me a pretty arch– just like that.” Pressing into the arch, Jaehyun coaxes himself back inside of you with slow strokes. The different angle, the different pace, feels like heaven. Your eyes flutter shut, lip trapped between your teeth as your body rocks with his thrusts.

He continues fucks you slowly, no desire to speed things up yet, just wanting the both of you to enjoy every second. Softly, he tells you ‘up’ before guiding your back to meet his chest with a gentle hand on your throat.

You hold his gaze when he tells you to look at him, even though your lids are fighting you.

“You wanted me to make you feel better, right?” he asks, and after a moment of silence from you, he manually pulls your lip from between your teeth and repeats, “Right?”

You hum in affirmation, pushing your hips back to feel him even deeper. “Shit. I did.”

“Tell me how I’m making you feel,” he commands, rolling his hips with deep strokes. “I wanna hear you.”

“‘Make me feel so good,” you abide with a whine. “So fucking good, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun brings you in for a slow, sloppy kiss, finally picking up his pace. The hand on your neck glides down to your breast to pinch and pull at your sensitive nipple while his other hand travels down in between your legs, finding your clit to rub circles over.

Wet lips trail to your ear, his deep grunts the main thing you can hear before his tongue is back and circling around in your ear. Your eyes flutter at all of the stimulation, lower abdomen tightening and getting ready for yet another climax.

“Need you to come again. Can you do that for me?”

Nodding carefully, you agree.

The digits on your clit speed up, no longer going in a circular motion but instead swiping back and forth, bringing you so much closer to the edge.

“Said you want my cum inside of you?”

��Yes,” you gasp, repeating the word as your body starts shaking, back arching and walls clamping on his dick, coming once again and bringing him closer to doing the same.

His thrusts quicken gradually, not giving you the time to recover this time around, back to pushing that pretty arch in your back for him and using the grip on your waist as leverage. Your legs shake from the effort it takes to keep yourself on your knees for him with the onslaught you’re taking. From the overwhelming pleasure that squeezes your eyes shut and has you seeing stars. Alongside your drool, your tears leak out onto the cotton the side of your face is smushed into while you cry. It doesn’t hurt in the slightest so you’re unsure as to why you’re crying--bawling, rather-- but it feels so right so you don’t question it. You just keep taking Jaehyun’s deep strokes while your body convulses until he pulls out with a pop.

Little droplets of cum that didn’t make it inside decorate your gaping entrance. With Jaehyun no longer having such a strong hold on you, your knees can slip apart more, and the angle allows for milky ropes to slowly ooze out of your hole. You don’t have enough time to get back into your right state of mind before Jaehyun enters you again in one, deep thrust.

He couldn’t help it. Something carnal within him has to fuck the cum back inside of you.

Your gasp of surprise only eggs him on further, slamming into you until he’s milked out completely and his shaft gets too sensitive to go any further. The top of your crack to your inner thighs is smeared cum and cream, and the sight almost makes Jaehyun’s limp dick twitch. He’s mesmerized by the sight, running his fingers over your fluttering entrance until a tiny whimper brings him back to reality.

He takes his time pulling away from your boneless body to stand straight up.

“Need me to carry you to the bathroom?”

You’re dizzy and your cheeks are wet but you find the brain and strength to lift yourself up, shaking your head. Jaehyun assists with a hand pulling you by your arm. Your legs are wobbly and he laughs to himself as he walks behind you, gently pushing you out of the living room and through his room to the bathroom.

Sitting on the toilet completely naked and pushing his semen out is an intimate act but you barely have the mind to care right now. He’s hardly paying attention anyway, focused on wetting a rag with warm water and cleaning himself before rinsing the cloth back off to use on you.

Once you’ve wiped as much as toilet paper can get off of you and flush, Jaehyun guides you to sit on his spacious sink so he can finish the job. Your head is spinning. Jaemin never did this before.

“You wanna go home tonight or stay with me?” He asks, glancing up at your face in the midst of cleaning between your legs. “I think you should stay so I can fuck you again before you go back to him.”

Your brows furrow. “What makes you think I’m going back to him?”

“Because you always do.”

How sure he is makes you wonder just how many incidents between you and Jaemin everyone knows about. If Jaehyun, who isn’t close with your boyfriend knows, there’s no doubt everyone else does.

After all, he said he was told earlier. And it was unlikely by Jaemin himself.

That makes you feel embarrassed all over again.

The possibility of you forgetting the constant heartache and staying with Jaemin keeps dwindling as the day goes on.

Jaemin is perfect on paper. And as time has passed and more situations between you have occurred, you realize that’s the main reason you stayed with him. There’s the attachment and love, of course. But the relationship started off physical. No friendship. Just lust and infatuation. You bending over backwards to keep a connection alive when Jaemin was distant and nonchalant, choosing his friends more than you and a lot of times taking entirely too long to respond to texts or snaps.

Your main source of communication in the beginning was Snapchat. That was the biggest red flag but he was just so handsome and tall and amicable. Jaemin’s eyes were just so kind and they held an innocence that drew you towards him.

Not to mention when the two of you became official and you introduced him to your family they instantly took a liking to him and often ask about his whereabouts and wellbeing. Inviting Jaemin to birthday parties and dinners.

He’s attentive to material things that you like and he gets them. His main love language is acts of service so he buys you things, cooks for you, does minor repairs on your car, and other things that make your life a little easier. So you know Jaemin has love for you, but he’s too wrapped up in himself and what his friends have going on, and you’re the one that’s always affected negatively because of this. All the nice things he does for you aren’t worth the sadness, anger, and insecurity you constantly feel. Not worth the emotional rollercoaster you’re always on with him.

You refuse to take it anymore.

“I’m not going back to him,” you say more to yourself. You start to push Jaehyun back so you can get down and put some clothes on and quite possibly get the hell out of here, but the brunet sets the soiled rag inside the sink and holds your waist.

“Then how about you take a shower while I order some food for us.”

You study him. He looks tired but hopeful you’ll stay the night.

“So you can fuck me again before I leave,” you deadpan.

He laughs.

“I only said that because I was sure you’d be right back with him tomorrow,” he explains, bringing your lower body closer to the edge of the counter as he steps forward, your sexes touching and contradicting his next words. “But if you say you aren’t, I can admit I just want to spend more time with you.”

“Why?”

The look he gives you makes you think you asked a dumb question, but you genuinely don’t understand.

“Just know I’m here when you’re ready, okay?”

That didn’t answer your question at all, but the tone of his voice is believable. “Ready for what, Jaehyun?”

“Us,” he says. “If you decide you still wanna be friends with me and see where this can go, I’m here.”

Now you’re really confused. You thought this was just sex for the both of you. You thought you were both just rebounds. You thought he just wanted to fuck you this whole time.

“You’re deadass?” you ask dumbly, to which he laughs at.

“Yes.” He dips down to give you an innocent kiss. “Now get in the shower. I’m hungry.”

When you open your eyes the next morning, Jaehyun’s body heat radiating even from the other side of the bed, everything that happened yesterday hits you all over again.

Especially when the man beside you basically told you he wants to be your man.

It’s not that you’re opposed to it. The connection and chemistry are definitely there. But you can’t jump into another relationship so quickly. Especially with someone who is connected to the man you’ve yet to break up with

It is nice that Jaehyun didn’t just bombard you with his feelings or ask you out instantly, though. You appreciate him saying the two of you could build and see what happens.

In the midst of your thinking, Jaehyun stirs awake and checks his phone. He groans tiredly and turns to you.

“I’m surprised you’re still here,” is the first thing he says to you, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“I bet you like seeing my face first thing in the morning,” you tut. You finally sit up, though, because while you’re not even sure what time it is, you need to get home and figure your next step out.

“I do.” Jaehyun easily admits, sitting up as well. “I feel like this will be the last time in a while, though.”

You raise an eyebrow. He’s not wrong. But are you that easy to read?

“It’s that obvious?”

He laughs and gets out of the bed, stretching his arms high above his head with a deep grunt. Your eyes trail down his body and stay on the tent in his boxers long enough to get caught. You lick your lips.

“Let me feed you before you leave.”

“Feed me how?” you ask. This time his brows lift up. “What. Feed me what?”

“I can feed you cum and pancakes if you want,” he snorts. “Extra toothbrushes are in the top left drawer under the sink. You can get ready first.”

You end up taking over halfway through Jaehyun making breakfast so he can freshen up, and the two of you eat side by side at the high bar in his kitchen in comfortable silence for a while.

But you feel like you should touch on the comment he made earlier.

“I’m gonna need time to myself before I even start thinking about being with someone else.”

Jaehyun nods, taking his time to chew and swallow his mouthful. “That’s expected.”

“I honestly don’t want to be around anyone associated with him for a while either,” you admit. He deserves to know what’s going on in your mind.

You’d only want to see Joy and Jaehyun, and it sucks when Jaehyun’s barely even your boyfriend’s friend, but you can’t see yourself healing and actually getting over the whole situation while constantly in his presence.

“I figured,” he says. “You cool with me checking in some times?”

You smile. It’s nice that he really does care. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

He collects your plates when you’ve both finished breakfast and you follow him to the sink to help him clean up before you leave. Your assistance is denied, but he tells you to sit on the counter beside the sink and talk to him before he walks you out.

You know you need to leave soon, but you’re dragging your feet, so you hike yourself up onto the counter. You don’t have the energy to confront the cause of the situation at hand right now. You’re tired. You just want to go home and sleep for the rest of the day then think about everything tomorrow. Talk to Jaemin tomorrow.

You don’t even want to check your phone, hence why it’s still off, in Jaehyun’s living room.

Any time you’ve created distance between you and Jaemin after a bad argument, he gave you the space you needed, only sending a message or two letting you know he loves you and how sorry he is, how grateful he is to have you in his life. The space has always been appreciated, but now that you’re thinking about it, it makes you realize how certain he is you’ll be back under him and by his side in no time.

“Get out of your head,” Jaehyun’s voice brings you back to reality. The dishes are finished and you don’t know if he let you be in your head in silence up until now or if he’s been talking. It doesn’t matter much, seeing that he doesn’t look affected. Instead, he’s easily parting your legs so he can fit his body in between, tilting your chin up with a gentle finger. “Can I get another kiss before you disappear?”

You slant your lips over his, bringing him closer by your legs around his hips. The kiss isn’t like any of the ones from last night. There’s more longing, yet more patience. Jaehyun’s hands stay innocent on the sides of your face while yours hold onto the fabric of his shirt.

It’s already obvious you’re going to miss this for a while. The way Jaehyun’s tongue lightly circles your own, the way his teeth nip at your lower lip. How he groans when you suck on his bottom lip as he pulls away a little, letting it snap back into place before his tongue is back in your mouth, playing with yours.

You’re unsure of how long this goes on, but when you can feel your arousal dripping down your inner thigh due to you wearing the same skirt from yesterday with no panties (they got ruined), you give Jaehyun a finale smooch before gently pushing his back by his chest.

“I gotta go before I end up fucking you again,” you joke, wanting to this temporary halt in whatever the two of you have going on to end on a good note.

Jaehyun’s head tilts. “I don’t see why that would be a bad thing.”

You squint at him non-intimidatingly.

“How about I call you if my rabbit isn’t enough to satisfy me?” you propose.

“Can I taste you before you clean up?”

You pause from getting ready to hop off the counter and raise a brow.

After spending so much time saying no and shrugging him off, it’s hard to do so right now. Which is why you reach down to swipe at your essence with your fingers and bring them up to his mouth. With a grin, he opens up, tongue out, easily accepting his treat.

Your breath hitches at the feeling and sight of the tall man enjoying the taste of you from your own fingers. He gently grabs your wrist to angle your hand better so he can lick up every last drop. He finishes with a loud suck before bending down to give you a kiss that lets you also get a taste.

And suddenly, you don’t mind spending a little more time here. Afterall, who knows when the next time you’ll see him will be.

“You did that on purpose,” you accuse, not really complaining. You don’t even know why you were trying to fool yourself. You’d stay the night again, if you’re being honest. It’d give you more time away from the reality that waits for you outside of the bubble you and Jaehyun have created.

“I’m not keeping you hostage,” Jaehyun says, wiping some saliva from under your mouth before taking a step back. “Let me walk you to your car.”

You shake your head, leaning back so you can prop your heels on the edge of the counter. “I think you should get a better taste.”

The brunet fights a smile, licking his lips. “You think so?”

“I do.” You nod, biting your lip as you watch him sink to his knees.

“I don’t know, Jaemin,” Joy says, a bit of pity in her voice. “She unfollowed all of us and you haven’t heard from her in what, three weeks?”

“Four,” Jaemin corrects, like that doesn’t further prove the red-head’s point.

She squints at him like he’s a dumbass, which he is. Everyone in the room knows this. Especially Jaehyun, who doesn’t even know why he’s here tonight. Joy practically begged him to spend a little time with everyone instead of being holed up in his apartment as per usual.

He already barely joined the group’s festivities, but nowadays, he’d rather just be alone or be with you.

“Since she broke up with you,” Seulgi further points out.

“Doesn’t look like she’s taking you back this time, kid,” Taeyong pitches in.

“I mean yeah, this is the longest we’ve gone without talking but I know her,” Jaemin insists. “She needs space before she forgives and we get back right. Even you all know this. It’s just taking a little longer because it’s the first time she found out I actually fucked someone else.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, licking and sealing his blunt tightly.

Jaehyun’s annoyed at this point.

“She’s done with you.”

Everyone looks at Jaehyun, surprised at him even speaking on the topic.

Jaemin laughs, leaning back in his seat arrogantly. “How would you know?”

Yeri tilts her head.

You’re going to be pissed when his next words get back to you, but he can’t just watch Jaemin talk about you and the situation you’re still healing from like it’s nothing.

“Because I’ve been nutting in her this whole time.”

heyyyyy :) ik it’s been a minute since i’ve posted. ily thank you for reading. feedback is always appreciated

#jaehyun smut #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun scenario #jaemin smut #jaemin scenario

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thegaybluejay · 1 month

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Just for fun, here are my rapid fire rambling thoughts on the ATLA ships and platonic dynamics hehe (please don’t go full ship wars tho - these are just my opinions as a chill multishipper!)

My Favorite Ships:

• Zukka - My current brainrot and main ship!! I know they aren’t canon but I really love them and their potential okay😭I just feel like their personalities would work so well! Sokka would call Zuko on his shit and Zuko would be good at grounding Sokka when he needs it. Plus I have seen some absolutely breathtaking AUs with this ship! And fire-and-ice vibes except gay! Them <3

• Kataang - Cutiessss!! I love them! They may not be the ship I think about most often, but when I do think about them, they’re adorable! Aang is such a “my wife” guy and Katara absolutely adores him back! Also the last airbender x last southern waterbender dynamic goes HARD! I like that these two are canon!

• Yuetara - Listen I know they barely interacted but THEY’VE ACTUALLY GROWN ON ME SO MUCH LATELY AND I VERY HIGH KEY SHIP THEM! Something about like, Katara thinking about Yue when she bends is so😭Their story would be heartbreaking in the best way!! Sapphic noncanon blorbos <3

• Mailee - These two are SO cute and have so much potential rahhh!! Again, love some noncanon sapphics <3

• Batkoda - Super SUPER cute and silly and fun! The dads fr <3 Bato is either Katara and Sokka’s adopted uncle or their stepdad and I love it for them hehe! This usually pairs well with a “Hakoda adopts Zuko” AU lmao!

Other Canon/Relatively Popular Ships:

• Zutara - A pretty good ship! I see the potential and tbh it’s very very fun to think about sometimes!!! However, some of y’all toxic Zutara stans need to leave my boy Aang alone lmao. Those who are chill tho, I rock with y’all!! Overall, I’m not opposed if it’s done well and I do occasionally seek out Zutara content! I personally do prefer seeing/writing them as found siblings tho, especially with the Azula and Katara parallels!!

• Sukka - Canon cuties!! I really like them! Suki my BELOVED <3 She’s so underrated!

• Yukka - Also canon cuties! They make me sad tho ahhhhh😭😭😭

• Maiko - Also ALSO canon cuties!! They have an interesting dynamic that I can really appreciate! And gotta love Mai <3

• Jinko - Jin my beloved! These two had a super cute dynamic during the one episode they had together lmaoooo, tho I don’t think about this ship too too often.

• Tokka - I don’t mind it if it’s them getting together as adults! But tbh I personally don’t prefer shipping them as teens and I think Toph’s crush was just a typical young girl crush on someone slightly older lol. Definitely not horrible and most Tokka shippers are relatively chill! I like to think Sokka sees Toph as a little sister tho.

Now For Some Of The Crackship-y/Less Popular Ships (based on ships I’ve actually seen):

• Zukki (Zuko/Sokka/Suki) - Power throuple fr and I love some polyamory!! While I mostly lean plain Zukka, this is extremely fun to think about and would be a great dynamic!

• Mai/Ty Lee/Suki - Saw this in a Zukka fic once and it was adorableeeeee! I may not have plans to actively write this or anything, but it’s cute! Another power throuple!

• Jetko - I don’t think they would be compatible long term, but by god they are very very fun to think about in a “Jet flirts with Zuko and Zuko is completely oblivious and they share one kiss before everything goes to shit” way lmao!

• Taang - I can respect it!! I will always love them as chaos siblings personally, but it’s a totally valid and chill ship!

• Katoph - Not a bad ship at all! I’ve only come across like one post tho lmao. Also I do think I heavily prefer them as found sisters, but that’s just me personally! Again, totally a valid and chill ship!

• Azutara - I’m very neutral on this lmao. I don’t despise it at all and it could be pretty interesting?? But tbh really not something I plan to seek out.

• Azulaang - I mean?? I’m also pretty neutral on this one. Aang would be kind to her if she was trying to get help but…idk lmao.

• Tyzula - I see the potential, but I personally think Mai and Ty Lee had a healthier and more interesting and more realistic dynamic. Just my preference tho!

(I think I just want Azula to be in therapy before I reallyyyyy ship her lmao, but NOT THE KIND OF “THERAPY” SHE WAS GIVEN IN THE COMICS)

• Zukaang - I don’t love this as a ship honestly. The canon age gap as teens is sketchy for my personal taste, tho I’ve seen people ship them in “Aang was 16 when he got frozen” AUs and that’s…better and I can get behind it a little! It would be interesting! But I think Roku being Zuko’s great-grandpa just still throws me off of this ship. I don’t have any beef with the shippers tho! I’m very “live and let live” and I have seen so much worse lol.

Can’t Forget My Fav Platonic Dynamics!

• Sokka and Aang - Two found brothers who share one idiot braincell when they interact LMAO! Love them always <3

• Sokka and Katara - The siblings ever!!

• Zuko and Aang - Enemies to found brothers!! Canon besties! I love their friendship and their parallels SO MUCH!!

• Toph and Katara - Absolutely ADORABLE as found sisters!!!! Love them!

• Zuko and Katara - I really like their development in a platonic sense and I think they’re very very fun and lovely found siblings by the end!!!! Zuko is 100% the brother that just “yeah my sister can and will whoop your ass” LMAO!

• Zuko and Toph - Also very found siblings in my head!! Only have a handful of solo interactions in canon but I DON’T CARE! I WILL FOUND FAMILY THEM ANYWAY! I’m a “Toph seeks out Zuko for sibling hugs/cuddles when she’s cold because he’s basically a space heater” truther.

• Uncle Iroh and the Gaang - Zuko needs to learn to share because that is ALL OF THEIR Uncle!!!

• Hakoda and Zuko - I thrive in this section of the fandom!! They have exactly one (1) frame together in canon, but I ADORE Dadkoda adopting Zuko! Something about it is just so wholesome and cute!!! My very very fav ATLA fics are this trope!!#LetHakodaBitchSlapOzaiAndAdoptZuko2024

• Uncle Iroh and Zuko - God they make me so ALSNDKSNXNCNSNSNXNX, y’know?

• The Gaang as a whole - Obvious I know, but I really do love them😭They all bonded sm and I adore their little family!! I eat up fanart of the Gaang cuddling like CANDY omg. And yes Suki is included in the Gaang because WHY WOULDN’T SHE BE!

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TedTalk. If you made it to the end, you get a big platonic kiss on the forehead MWAH!

#atla #avatar the last airbender #zukka #yuetara #mailee #kataang #found family #fanfiction #the gaang #multishipper

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star-girl69 · 11 months

Note

do you have any hcs for what dating natalie would be like?

Dating Natalie Scatorccio Headcannons

(pre and post crash)

warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs and alcohol, regular yellowjackets things, tell me if i missed anything!!

pre crash

IM SORRY I LOVE NATALIE BUT…. SHES A LITTLE TOXIC BEFORE THE CRASH

and i mean you can partly place the blame on her using and also her home life, but still

she gets a little jealous…. gets a little crazy….

but sooner or later she’ll finally realize that she’s just being a little silly and apologize to you

date nights for her depend on her mood. if she’s happy? you’re going out and doing something! think shauna and adam in season one- mini golfing, jumping off bridges, etc

if she’s not in a good mood, then she probably just wants you and let’s be honest some drugs and/or alcohol (I LOVE HER I SWEAR)

if her dad is still alive then he’s real suspicious of y’all but HIS DAUGHTER BEING GAY??? HE REFUSES TO EVEN ENTERTAIN THE IDEA

just some gal pal’s to him

NATALIE AT SCHOOL IS WILD

when she’s not skipping she’s probably finding some way to annoy you

“will you come to practice today?” “sorry nat i have to study” “oh, okay. will you come to practice today?” “no, i have to study” “that’s cool. will you come to practice today tho?”

and if you’re also on the soccer team she is so happy!!! loves talking to you about what happened during the game bc unlike other people she knows, who don’t like soccer, or aren’t as into it as her, you just get it like no one else does

communicating with looks across the fields for sure

if you’re not on the team you basically are bc she INSISTS you come to every single game and every single practice

“PLEASE I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW I HAVE TO STUDY!!!!” “but like we win every time you’re there so….”

coach martinez genuinely told you to stop studying and get on the field and you were like ???

but he insisted so you walked out there until natalie was like ???

“you do realize y/n is not actually on the team, right, coach….?”

wilderness

natalie is so done with the wilderness as soon as she gets there like

especially during the summer months even if you suck you’re going hunting with her

like literally imagine just sitting on a tree stump while natalie just goes PEW PEW PEW and the brings back like a bunch of dead rabbits bc she’s amazing like that

she LOVESSSS reminding you (and everyone tbh) that she was the one to get the food

“omg this is so good” “thanks yeah what can i say i have a gift”

she totally finds a little corner of the cabin somewhere and just is like: me and you here ok? ok

winter months get crazy

all of sudden she’s like no don’t come hunting stay back but like you’ve gotten weirdly into it now and besides YOU WANT TO BE WITH HER??

“no you can’t come”

“why?”

“bc it’s cold!!!!”

“ok and??? you’re going!!!”

“ITS DIFFERENT OK”

“NO ITS NOT???”

eventually she’ll probably cave in and let you come but TRUST she is wrapping you up herself you look like a little penguin at the end probably

but if it’s ever like REALLY cold she is not above begging to make sure you stay in the cabin

—-

everything taglist:

@emilynissangtr

#yellowjackets x reader #natalie scatorccio #natalie scatorccio x reader

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kaiandels · 4 months

Text

(short ass story) dependency : e.w x reader

Context: Letters that the reader gave Ellie after their breakup. The reader is an aspiring chef. And Ellie is an unemployed woman :))

Warning: toxic, vulgar language, not proofread,

————————————————��—————————

“I miss the eyes that looked at me with love. And now you look at me like you had enough.”

“y/n” ellie laughed as she lifted you up the air. those eyes that you loved so dearly, were now forever lost in a void that you could never be able to reach for.

“I’m sorry, I was tired. Everything that happened to us, felt like it was my fault.”

“All of my sentences are possibly all cliches, but you only loved me, because I was there… when no one pleased you in the darkest of nights, took care of you in the lightest of days, and when i loved you, when it was hard to love you.”

“And to understand you, when it was hard to understand you.”

“ ‘cause supposedly, that’s what love should have been. right? “

“This is fucking crazy.” Ellie threw her hands up in the air feeling as if what you were saying is nonsense. “You have to look for work Ellie… are you fucking- I can’t be there to fend for you all the time!” you screamed as you felt your chest tightened.

“Then fucking leave, alright? I never asked you to fend for me or whatever the fuck that is. I’m going to go in my own pace, how many times have I told you that?!”

“I risked everything for you, but you risked none.”

“I had many dreams, and you crushed every single thing left in to pieces.”

“What the fuck is this?” Ellie asked gripping a plane ticket in her hand. “You’re leaving me?” Ellie’s voice cracked.

“Ofcourse i’m not. Leaving for a while could benefit us, Ellie. I could take care of you longer and I wouldn’t have to worry about financials and… there’s a possibility that I could land you a job there too.”

“I don’t need a fucking job. And you’re not going anywhere.” Ellie spat firmly.

“You don’t understand, Ellie. I landed my dream job. I get to be a fucking chef in a 5 star michelin restaurant. It sounds like a fucking fairytale … aren’t you happy for me? We’ve been dreaming about this since we got together. Don’t tell me you forgot about that too.”

“I don’t fucking care. Now this?” Ellie held the plane ticket high. “Is fucking non-existent now.” Ellie manages to rip the paper in to shreads. “You’re not going anywhere.” Ellie stomps off to her room, looking like a fucking child.

You couldn’t sleep after that. Your dreams were crushed but you knew there was only one way to build yourself back up again. And that was… grabbing a piece of paper and a pen.

“You were not the person that I loved anymore.

You were not the same Ellie Williams that dreamed big.

That had ambition, the same ambition that I had.

We don’t see eachother anymore. Eye-to-eye, is that it?

And it took a lot for me to say this.

But I don’t love you anymore.

You’re too fucking dependant.

You are an uneducated, manipulative, and an ignorant piece of shit.

And I am SO MUCH fucking better than this.

And I can’t grown in to a better person, if i’m stuck with someone who has their foot stuck up in their ass.

I wanted a partner, not a fucking child.

The ticket you ripped, was for you.

I thought it was a chance that I could make you grow in to a better person. But i’m tired.

Go fuck yourself,

Y/n

————————-

ps. this is shit but i love drama so i just started writing again. this would probably be my last… again. i’m so sick of writing smuts y’all don’t understand. i just started writing again cause i miss my gf.

(this was in my drafts for a long time)

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #the last of us #ellie x fem reader #ellie x y/n #lesbian

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helluva-dump · 6 months

Text

Yeah I think I am officially done with the Helluva boss critical community… for good.

Before you guys flip your shit and accuse me of being a Stan, let me explain.

So I deleted my tumblr app and decided just to refreshen my mind and focus on other things. (Like my art, my own possible indie project, ect ) and being away for a while… it kind of made me realize how much of the critical community was becoming too much for my mental health.

Originally, I joined because season 2 disappointed with season 2, didn’t like how Vivziepop retconned things like the pilot, the possible workplace allegations, and of course… the fandom being super toxic as hell work promoting toxic positivity.

But holy shit…. Somehow the critical community is even worse than the fandom.

Like I swear nobody talks about what’s wrong with this community. I’ve seen blogs have such an unhealthy hatred to Viv where they post nonstop about her… it’s insane. Like when making account names “wah I hate Vivziepop”

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think all critical blogs act like this. I do in fact still follows few, only thing is the ones I follow don’t constantly whine and bitch all the time and actually do critique. And these reblogs I follow just do AUs, rewrites, and redesigns which to me I will always see as harmless fun since that’s what I wanna do.

As for the other half of criticals…. Hell, these people legit get mad and share screenshots making fun of fans with different opinions. Like, bruh, didn’t you guys get angry at stans for doing that to y’all? You guys are literally doing the exact same thing. And no I’m not talking about sharing screenshots of toxic fans that attack former employees and make excuses for a questionable workplace…. But like they’ll just mock fans that didn’t do anything bad.

I’m all for critiquing a fandom and there are Stans that have such an unhealthy parasocial relationships with Viv… but somehow I see people acting the same with their unhealthy hate obsession. Literally going through her IG and bitching and moaning…

Seeing people making assumptions about her and Gooseworks with the glitch x as well as Tracy just shows me how unhealthy this hate is becoming.

Yes, Viv and Tracy had a bit of a heated thing on Twitter. However, I don’t think it’s fair to assume she’s this evil evil hellspawn that’s plotting to destory glitch x. “She’s kissing ass to goodeworks with her fake smile” dude she’s probably a fan of their works, you really don’t know that.

Also, while I’m aware of the allegations concerning Salem (who I hope really recovers and they did really make this episode the best IMO)… it’s probably not fair to assume all employees get treated the same way… the only people that seem to know what went down are Erin, Ken, Salem, and Ashley Nicolas. Do I think the workplace abuse is possible? Yes, it’s why I haven’t bought any merch.

BUT the reason why I don’t like to discuss things like this is because half of the other stuff seems like flimsy evidence besides Salem’s vents. And I think it’s a bit risky to spread such misinformation and make assumptions. (One blog I’ve seen had so many anons sharing rumors and just go along with them which to me is dangerous…)

Like when the new episode aired, unlike everyone else, I actually loved it. This recent episode was so great it’s what I wanna see more of for Helluva boss. But eh… I noticed some haters bitch for the sake of it. Now, some of the critiques aren’t too bad, I did notice some flaws and I understand the concerns for salem. But like other half it’s just bitching for the sake of it…

Also I heard rumors how the deranged stalker fan of Fizz is a parody of critical blogs… tbh I highly doubt that because that trope always existed in cartoons (like Aggrestuko had one too) but considering a good chunk of “criticals” have a hate boner for viv, can you blame some fans for thinking that?

I really don’t like how the critical community became the anti community. Because not every critical person is an anti, I don’t even wanna fuck with that shit and I don’t ever wanna resort to that.

Hell, they drove one critical blog I loved away… over a bad miscommunication.🙃 and that blog was right, you don’t wanna make friends with this community with how some toxic people are.

Also I’ve been drawing a lot of Hazbin hotel stuff for my Heaven AU and it reminded me why I enjoyed Vivziepop’s ideas and stories so much. It somehow was helping me take edge away from my mental health.

I think it’s possible to still be a fan without labeling yourself as a stan or anti. That’s why I made this blog for. I was so worn out by the toxic positivity of the fandom, so this is my comfort space. But now I need to cut the critical community away since it’s now full of toxic negativity.

And as I said, I do plan to make an indie cartoon series and I feel like being part of this critical community is NOT gonna make me professional on my end. That being said, I don’t like Viv as she said things that rubbed me the wrong way BUT I’m not gonna let that kill my joy for Hazbin hotel.(and Helluva boss to an extent) I do think she has good ideas and they CAN work but she does need more writers than animators to help her execute them.

That’s why I’m only a bit more excited for Hazbin hotel lately

Now I’m not angry at anyone who followed me. I just wanna make some boundaries, and that being said, I’m still gonna critique both shows. However, I’m just gonna tag these posts as HH/HB critiques than HH/HB critical for now on. I feel like that’s more professional and more genuine if you wanna share opinions on stuff.

Just wanna get this off my chest, it’s what I wanted to express for a while.

And if fans come across this blog, don’t be afraid to interact I won’t bite. Everyone has their different opinions. I only have an issue with Stans that promote toxic positivity and dismiss employees that were treated badly is all.

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #for now on #I wanna restart fresh #and I don’t want antis and Stans to interact with me #you guys need to touch grass with your obsession with viv #it’s hella creepy

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romiantic · 9 months

Text

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME !

NOW PLAYING…circus by summer walker

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME, you love him but does he love you like you do?

INCLUDING hawks, pro-basketball player!aomine, singer!eren

READING: black!fem!reader

GENRE + WARNINGS: angst + suggestive, toxic nigga behavior from all characters

A/N: this was a very old wip I found which I gained a lot of motivation to write :). also eren is supposed to mirror drake in his part, I feel like fanon eren is drake in a different font 💀

HAWKS, the #2 pro-hero, the man who sends away smiles at fellow citizens and takes pictures with cheery children. The man who had girls squealing and wishing to be in his “entourage”. Just one night with the handsome man and they’ll be satisfied with life, maybe some money as well. Though, they don’t know that it’s the same man who had your head spinning like a damn wheel, wondering day in and day out why you are still trying to put effort into something that you don’t even know will work. But…he convinced you otherwise; giving you bouquets of flowers when he comes home, good morning texts, sweet loves by the night. If all this he does/gives to you, why aren’t you together? What’s stopping you two from an official label?

He pushes it off, he keeps saying he’s not ready. He doesn’t think he can juggle being a pro-hero with a girlfriend. Such a ridiculous and stupid reason but when you tried to talk yourself out of it, you were convinced by sweet talks that he needs you and you know your heart yearns for him. You couldn’t break his heart by leaving, could you?

AOMINE isn’t the best at displaying his love for you but he tries, rarely. He has stated himself that he isn’t really a lover boy but in his heart, he knows that you both belong together. He just can’t find it in himself to show you. Especially with the glitz and glamor of being an all star basketball player, love for him may not be suitable. Well, publicly being in love, to be exact. The blogs, the allegations, the scandals, it would all be too “out there” and Aomine has a very private life to abide by. Being famous and having people invested in his life is one thing but allowing his lover in the spotlight? Nah, he wouldn’t do that to her.

But then again, the gifts he buys you remind you that he still thinks about you and loves you dearly. The dainty bracelet from Chanel, the bouquet of roses he leaves on your nightstand, the occasional messages he sends, they all mean some sort of value. Even if the man who sends them isn’t ready to push his love further like you want it to be.

EREN, everyone’s favorite certified lover boy with the voice as comforting as the blues but the lyricism of an aching heart. Quite odd considering that the amount of love he displays to the world, mostly his fans, you don’t tend to see it? A questionable trait for a man whose songs are about girls who have treated his love like a used rag, but yet he has the similar traits to said girls. He sings constantly about wanting to be loved in a way that makes him feel unstoppable, safe, and comfortable but he rarely shows that with you. To make matters worse than they are, he would say that what y’all have is nothing too serious so why take it serious?

Though, the male singer will always remind you of how much he loves you when it’s just the two of you. You’ll always remember after his shows when the room is hot and full of his “love” with steamy kisses and bodies tangled up in this so-called “love” he wants to claim.

⭑ shoutout to tia for proofreading, thank you twinnnn 🫶🏽

⭑ *gasp* mia doesn’t write something spiderman for once 😱

⭑ lemme know which was y’all fave to read !

𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐏 💗: Ephesians 2:4-5

MAIN MASTERLIST

#* 💭🎧 ⌗ 𓏲 „ ˋmia is writing !#x black reader #x black!reader #anime x black reader #anime x black!reader #hawks x black reader #hawks x back!reader #aomine x black reader #aomine x black!reader #daiki aomine x black reader #daiki aomine x black!reader #eren x black reader #eren jaeger x black reader #eren jaeger x black!reader

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ssturniolo · 7 months

Text

Hopeless pt.2

||pt.1||

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤 - Chris x fem!reader

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 - Chris confesses his feelings

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 - swearing, kissing, angsty confession, mentions of cheating, I think that’s it

It’s been a few weeks since finding your ex cheating and your doing better than ever. It had been a fairly quick recovery after realizing how toxic he really was. Your mental health has improved immensely, you have much more time for yourself and your friends, and you’re overall much happier.

Chris on the other hand, has been acting crazy weird. Ever since comforting you the night you showed up on his doorstep “heartbroken,” he’s been distant and short tempered with you.

This leads to now, standing outside of his bedroom door contemplating if you should knock or just walk in. You’ve been meaning to talk to him for awhile but with tour right around the corner, your couldn’t bring yourself to stress him out more. But truth be told, you miss your best friend and have no clue as to why he could be acting this way.

Cracking open his door, you peek your head in to find him sitting on the bed on his phone.

“Hey” you smile shyly, fully entering his room.

“What do you want” he spits back coldly, his tone of voice most definitely not matching the guilty look on his face.

“I’m just here to talk” you respond, your voice barely above a whisper.

Chris slightly moves to the side, signaling you to sit down.

Now next to him, back pressed against the headboard, your turn your head to face him.

“Spill” you command.

“What? Why are you really here y/n” he asks, clearly annoyed.

Rolling your eyes, you turn your whole body towards him. “Because your being a dick, that’s why.”

“I’m not being ‘a dick’ y/n, you don’t know what your talking about.”

“Excuse me? You’ve been completely ignoring me for the past few weeks without a fucking reason” you say, slightly raising your voice.

“I do have a reason actually” he matches your tone, standing up to pace his room.

“Oh really? What is it then” you shout, angry tears welling up in our eyes.

“It’s not like you’d care” he shouts back, now at a complete stop, not facing you.

“But I do care Chris and you know this!”

Slowly turning to face you, Chris looks down at his hands.

“I’m in love with you” Chris mumbles under his breath.

“Huh?” You question, scooting closer so you can hear him.

“Because I’m fucking in love with you” he starts, finally looking up to meet your eyes. “And watching you go out and get your heart broken by these toxic guys has been torture,” he continues, raking a hand through his hair.

“You love me?” You whisper, more as confirmation of what he just confessed than an actual question.

“Always have, always will y/n.”

Getting up to walk over to him, you smile, brushing hair out of his face.

“I love you too.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Without responding you lean in, feeling his soft lips against yours. Both of your hands snake around his neck while his move up to lightly cup your cheeks. This moment feels magical, no person has ever made you feel the way Chris does, so loved and cared for.

You can’t believe you’ve never noticed how he was the first to ask if your ok, the first to ask about your day, the only person who would drop everything and anything for you. The only person who has always loved you unconditionally.

Maybe you aren’t so hopeless after all.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I hope this meets y’all’s expectations ! :)

XOXO - Zoe

People who wanted to be tagged:

@opheliaofficial07 @big-reputaytion-oo @queenofsimpsblog @slaysturniolo @gabbylovesreading

#fypage #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo #imagine #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo fanfic #christopher sturniolo imagine #the sturniolos #angst #confessions

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