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leomeoi · 10 months

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Happier

The title is from the song "Happier" by Marshmello Bastille. The lyrics "I want you to be happier. Know that means I'll have to leave." spoke to me. Please read the wonderful @tapakah0's comic and watch the amazing animatic they did that this work is inspired from. (Please forgive any out of characterness or grammar mistakes, I had no Beta Reader and wrote this in one sitting.) Thank you so much to Tapakah for drawing this amazing comic and answering my questions, as well as allowing me to write a fic for their work.

Oh, obligatory warning. This is angst. There is major character death, violence, and sadness. It ends unhappy (for now.) Proceed with caution and make informed decisions!

Click here for a link to the Archive Of Our Own version!

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Today's a big day.

Arguably, every day that they go out to fight the Krang that have infiltrated every nook, cranny, and crevice of their lives all those years ago is a big day. Raphael can't help but feel the bone-crushing load of responsibility that weighs down on his shoulders as he watches the hubbub of activity from the head. As he scans the faces of each person—human and mutant alike—with his one good eye, Raph feels as if his shell might just crack. He's not naive. There's nothing normal about this. He knows that they won't be able to save everyone, there'll be casualties. Their days are numbered, and the world just isn't fair in that way. The Krang aren't merciful. It could be anyone that they lose, there's no off-limits, and there's no way of predicting what shade of grief they'll experience today. As more and more days go by, Raphael can't shake the feeling that every victory they have is just a pyrrhic one. Even still, they fight. Everyone currently in the shelter of this hangar does. They all hope for a better future, a chance to reclaim all that they lost and there's not a single person who isn't willing to sacrifice it all. There's nothing more important than to ensure the success of this battle they're about to fight in the world war they've been waging against the invading advanced alien species.

He doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't want to think about all the people that they've lost. It sends ripples of agony tearing through his chest, a physical ache that he can feel permeate even his plastron. It's a horrid fact that death is actually the most merciful thing the Krang can gift them with. They've lost countless others to infection, the result of that blasted plague yielding pink, fleshy atrocities, the host twisted and manipulated into a mere shell of their former self. They cannot be qualified as a person by then, bestial creatures hellbent on destruction and controlled by the very violators that infected them to begin with. It's a fate worse than death, the loss of will and self; they move only to the will impressed upon them. Raph's arms cross even tighter across his broad chest, his teeth grinding. The cold metal of his right arm reminds him that he's gotten off lucky. His fingers dig into his elbows as he stands, a grim and foreboding figure against the thoughts that plague his mind. He knows that he's gotten lost under the pressure of his thoughts when he stirs only at a warm touch against his forearm.

"Raph? You okay, big man?"

The sound of Leo's voice snaps him out of it further. His tone is bright, but Raph can hear the undertow of concern. Raph tears his gaze away from the milling crowd and looks down, meeting his brother's gaze. Even though it's been years, Raphael still can't help the flare of pride every time he sees Leo and how much he's changed over the years. It seems like yesterday that Raphael had to scold, nag, and practically plead with his younger sibling to get him to take things seriously. He knows that being the leader was a pressure that Leonardo never wanted, but once he's received it, he'd learned the gravity of the role. Sometimes, Raph thinks Leonardo has outgrown him, just the way that Raphael thought he would. A lesser turtle would have broken under the pressure, but Leonardo is as strong as he is stubborn. He stands against the test of time and loss, brave and unrelenting. He now leads with a certainty that has saved them on numerous occasions, and Raphael truly couldn't be prouder of how much he's grown into the role given to him.

Leonardo must see the way Raph's eyes soften because the sharp grin on his face loses its charming edge, too. Raph's chest feels tight as if his heart would burst out from the confines of his plastron. It's an entirely different reason than just a few seconds before when the grim reality was moments from overwhelming him.

He really is so proud.

"Yeah, Raph's okay. Just thinking." Raphael flashes his snaggletooth in a wide smile, and Leo mirrors it.

Normally, the conversation would end there. Raph wasn't the best at expressing his feelings, and Leonardo was even less so. He doesn't have the same connection to Leo that Donatello seems to have—they are self-proclaimed twins after all. They communicate almost solely on looks and gestures as if that's enough to convey exactly what it is they want to say. They leave nearly everything unsaid, but that's simply not something Raph can do. It's easy to communicate with Mikey; he's the best of them all. Still, there's so much that he wants to say to Leo, but it's almost time to leave. Raph can tell by the way things are quieting, the chaos of getting prepared sinking into the hum of calm and determined poise. Even with it all, Raphael is gripped with the unshakable feeling that he simply needs to get out. He doesn't know what it is, but it's an undeniable urge.

Leonardo's about to turn away. Despite the eternity that Raph feels like he just went through in his struggle to find the right words, mere seconds have passed. Raph decides that he doesn't need pretty words like Donnie, or the innate ability Mikey has to say exactly what a turtle needs to hear. Leo will understand. He knows Raph. He knows that they're connected and understand each other in a way that only those who have and are responsible for the lives of many can.

"Leo," he starts, and Raph almost winces at how serious he sounds. Leo blinks at the sudden change in tone, but he doesn't falter. His easy grin changes almost immediately, and the fact he no longer tries to deflect serious conversation with humor when it comes to Raphael brings yet another wave of pride. Leo stands before him, waiting. He's listening.

Raphael nods to himself, lifting a hand to place on Leonardo's shoulder. He squeezes and shakes Leo lightly, a reassuring gesture. His snaggletooth makes even more of an appearance as he smiles wide. "Raph is so proud. You've kicked ass and grown. You don't need lil ol' me anymore. I could not be more proud."

Surprise flits through Leo's eyes before it's replaced by something else. His gaze is piercing, eyes dark and almost unreadable. Almost. In another time, Raph wouldn't have ever thought that he'd know Leo so well. The feeling is potent, and Raph can feel it, too. It charges him with strength, and a new lightness finds his spirit. The iron trust that Leo has in him shines in his eyes, and Raphael had almost felt too small to withstand the weight of it once. Now, it gives Raph the strength he needs to continue on.

It seems to have been the right time to say what he was thinking.

Leonardo's shoulders square, and he seems to grow even taller before Raphael's very eyes. "Don't kid yourself, Raph," Leo chuckles. He slaps at Raph's arm lightly with a pat. "I'll always need my big brother." They both laugh at that, the serious mood broken up as their chortles sound in the room. With that, Leonardo turns away, moving his attention to something else that they need to be as prepared as they ever will be. Raph doesn't really concern himself with that anymore unless Leo needs him to. Bolstered by warmth, Raph knows that he needs to make his own rounds. He walks through the crowd, and people part way for him to accommodate his bulk. He stops and talks to a few, bumps elbows with April, and high-fives Cassandra. Somewhere along the line, Cass and Raph had grown closer. Undoubtedly, it was because of a certain young individual they spent any spare moment they had with.

Somewhere in the middle of that, Raph finds who he's looking for. "Donnie," he calls, and his brother whirls towards him. Donnie's battle shell remains engaged in what seems to be furious typing, his purple holographs buzzing with ninpo. A fond smile lights up Raph's face—even in the midst of preparing for a big battle, Donatello is always moving. His mind is always working, and Raphael wonders if it's because it's so loud that Donnie rarely ever sleeps.

"Raph," Donnie greets, the lenses of his red and blue goggles whirring as they adjust to parse Raph. Then, Donnie groans. "What did Nardo break now? I swear, I told him I'm gonna kick his shell if he breaks one more damn thing, so he decides to send you to break the news? I'm gonna find him-" He starts to grouse, and Raphael is sent into a frenzy trying to placate him.

"No, no! Leo didn't break nothin'. Just... Raph just wanted to talk to you. Before everything." Raphael shrugs, his hands outstretched and spread to show his surrender. Donatello squints and it's obvious that he's suspicious. His drawn-on eyebrows arch, and Raphael can't help but laugh again. There is no doubt that Donatello is the most expressive one of them all. His eyebrows only add to his charm, and over the years, he's grown into his skin even more. Raph thinks that Donatello is also the one to hide his emotions the most, choosing pragmatism and logic over the pursuit of emotions at all times. It's also why Raph thinks that Donatello's mask—the persona that he adopts—rivals Leo's.

In truth, Donatello is generous. He's a genius, a maniacal scientist, and Raph knows that his mind works in ways unmatched. He knows that it's because Donnie is Donnie that they've been able to maintain a semblance of a life. Raph knows that Donnie works himself to the bone for them, and fixes every problem that crops up that others don't even know where to begin. The thing with Donnie is that he's so, so generous, with a heart that's about as soft as his shell. Raph knows that he doesn't want anyone to know. Donnie gives them his all every day, every minute, and every second. It's enough for Raph to worry that one day, Donnie will give, give, and give until there's nothing left. Raphael has always silenced that voice, knowing that it comes from a selfish part of Raph that wants his brothers cared for, apocalypse be damned. Now, though. Raph thinks he can convey what he wants to say to Donnie at least once in a way that he can't be misunderstood.

Taking Donnie's suspicious look in stride, Raphael reaches up to rap his knuckles against his metal prosthetic. It makes a sharp sound each time he does, and Raph grins in spite of it all. "I know I've said this already, but Dontron... Thanks again. I know that this-" Raph gestures to all around him, and then again to his arm, "-couldn't have happened without you." Donnie seems to have been caught off guard by the sincere way Raphael is saying what he wants to say. Still, he recovers fast.

"Why, of course. I'm glad you realize that you need my brilliant mind and recognize that this is all in courtesy of the great Donatello, a.k.a. moi." Donatello's eyes are half-moons, his goggles retreating to the top of his head. His grin is smug, but Raph can see the genuine curls of delight that cause the corners of the said grin to twitch into an almost smile. Donatello's arms outstretch to gesture to the entire facility, and the simple movement makes him look bigger than life. It's grandiose, enthusiastic, and just as bombastic as Raph would have expected Donnie to respond with. Raphael doesn't bother stopping the laugh that escapes him, and his deep laughter seems to infect Donnie, too. He laughs with Raph, a small rumble mixed with the beginnings of a chirp. After the laughter dies down, Donnie gives Raph another grin. "Okay, now that you have me sufficiently buttered up, what did you break?" Donnie asks, his voice teasing. Raphael recognizes it for the jest that it is, and he snorts again.

"I keep tellin' you, nothing's broke!" Raphael's hands lift and they settle on Donatello's shoulders. He can't be too serious. Donnie will be too busy trying to make light of the words leaving Raph's mouth in his mind to truly understand what he's trying to say. Raph smiles. "Just tryna say thank you, Dontron. You're right, we need your brilliant mind, but that's not all we need," he gently reminds the younger turtle. "You're our Donnie, too. Our brother. Raph just wants to make sure that you take care of yourself, too. Less coffee, more sleep." He shrugs, his voice light. For a moment or two, Donnie says nothing. His eyes are wide, fixated on Raph's. It's enough to make Raph nervous and wonder if he's gone too far, but his fears are dispelled when Donnie's shoulders slump slightly under his hands.

"When did you turn all Dr. Feelings? Isn't that Michelangelo's job?" Donnie jokes and makes a face, but his voice shakes just enough to convey that he understands what Raph is trying to say. Raphael chooses to act mock-offended, going along with the bit.

"Hey! Are you saying Raph can't say that he loves his brothers?" He huffs, and Donnie rolls his eyes. The heavier moment dispels and Donnie's attention is suddenly needed elsewhere, judging by the beeping that he can hear. Raph lets his hands fall from Donatello's shoulders.

"Duty calls. No rest for the wicked." Donnie sighs, somehow dramatic and sincere at the same time. His eyes are closed as he says this, but he peeks out at Raph. That's enough for Raph to spot the gentle glint in his brother's eye. "But..." he intones, combining the sound with another sigh. "I'll try." Raph grins.

"All I ask." He nods, and Donnie hums. He's reorienting himself, Raph has heard that noncommital hum too many times to not know. "I'll see you later, Dontron," Raphael says before he loses Donnie in a string of mutters, and Donnie gives him a wave as his goggles return to his face, already focusing on what had pulled him away.

Raphael keeps walking. He dodges children, people, and mutants. It's not easy with his build, and he sticks out like a sore thumb from size alone. Still, it's not enough to deter him from finding Mikey. Mikey's as easy to spot as it is to spot Raph in a crowd. His powerful ninpo rolls off him in waves, mysticality crackling under his fingertips. It surges through his entire body, and it's almost impossible to miss. He's often haloed in a golden light, something that's as warm as his spirit. Over the years, Mikey has only grown more powerful, but with his abilities, so does his wisdom. Mikey is no longer just the goofy turtle he'd been before; he is wise beyond his years, capable, and strong. He's the inspiration within the Resistance, the ever-burning beacon of hope. Raph has leaned on him for support more times than he can count, and Mikey has more than once single-handedly born the grief of hundreds after a bad battle. Many turn to him for guidance now.

Raph finds him in the exact position that he thought he would.

"Mikey," he says, trying to hold back laughter. At Raph's voice, Mikey looks up, expression bright.

"Raph! Hiya, bud. Apparently, my hair's getting too long!" He says, voice full of cheer and contentment. He's surrounded by an ethereal glow, and floating. His legs are crossed, and there is a gaggle of giggling children running around him. They dip below him from where he's floating, dodging each other while they play tag. The innocence of the view seems to heal all the old wounds and the scars littering Raph's heart momentarily. There's another taller child with her fingers in Mikey's hair, and upon closer inspection, she's braiding it. Mikey already has multiple little braids here and there in his hair, and it's a sight that makes Raph's caught laughter burst free.

"Really? Raph thinks it's fine." He tilts his head as he inspects Mikey, and he's sure his expression mirrors Mikey's. Raph edges closer before he sits down with a mighty groan, and maybe a bit of a heavier thud than he'd wanted. The children crow as the ground shakes a little when Raph sits down, and he's swarmed. They crawl all over his legs, chattering excitedly, and Raph sits and listens. He and Michelangelo both do. They bask in the simple joy that the children exude. They ask him all kinds of questions, and Raph answers the best he can. They tell him nonsensical stories, about everything Mikey has been telling them, stories of times before the Krang. It's a bittersweet experience, knowing that there's a chance that these children will never experience what they had. Still, the tenacity and hope these children hold to someday seeing all that they've been told of is infectious. It reminds him of something their dad has always told them.

Hope is a ninja's greatest weapon.

Eventually, the children go off to Mikey's gentle shooing, as if he knows that Raphael has something important to say. The bond they share is close to the silent bond that Leonardo and Donatello share. In the past, Raphael and Michelangelo had clashed on more than one occasion. Raph knows he could be overprotective. He had been, back then, and Raph is old enough to admit that. Michelangelo had been the youngest, and even though he still is, Raphael trusts that he can protect himself now. That he can protect all of them. More than anything, Raph trusts Mikey with the Resistance. He trusts Mikey with their family. It's an all-encompassing trust that's hard to explain, even if he tries. After the Krang, after they'd been forced to grow, their relationship had changed forever. It was for the better. They'd grown closer, and the need for verbal communication has nearly faded from existence. Michelangelo can read Raph like a book. Even now, he waits for Raphael to collect his thoughts because he knows that his older brother has something to say. Raphael is grateful for it, just like all the times before.

After another few moments of silence, Raph wordlessly leans. He leans enough that their shoulders touch. He can feel the warmth spilling from Michelangelo, and it's comforting in ways that he can't describe. Mikey hums, but he doesn't say anything. His short braids are slowly coming loose, and they both stare from the sidelines as their people gather the rowdy children, scooping them up for hugs and kisses. Raph swallows. The heavy feeling from earlier returns. How many of these children would end up orphaned after this fight? He ignores a palpable thought about Casey Jr. that flits through his mind as fast as lightning. He doesn't want to think about that now. Raphael knows that Mikey can sense the dread that is approaching, the muted fear and grief that is already threatening his horizon. In front of Mikey, Raphael doesn't really find the need to appear as strong as he feels he needs to be around everyone else. He knows Mikey understands.

"Mikey," he starts, his voice suddenly hoarse around the lump in his throat. Michelangelo doesn't respond, just nudges his shoulder into Raph's harder. Raph takes a deep breath. He needs to say what he actually has on his mind, or he might burst. He's mentioned it to Donatello before, but Donnie hadn't let him finish. He'd dismissed the notion, he'd been angry with Raph for thinking such things. Raph hadn't broached the subject again. Now, he thinks it's a good time to. "If Raph doesn't make it back, please take care of our family." He smiles, feeling a hot pressure starting to build behind his eye. He knows that it's tears. Michelangelo still doesn't say anything. Raph presses on. "If- Donnie said somethin’ before about the mission goin' wrong and said that it's likely going to be Leo who's out for the count. I dunno if Donnie's goin' to be right, but it's Donnie. He probably is." He laughs, trying to free some of the building pressure in his throat. He swallows, again. Harder this time.

"Don't let Leo blame himself. Or Donnie. An'... An' I don't want you blaming yourself either. Okay?" Raph finally turns his head to look at Mikey and finds that Mikey is staring at him. Michelangelo is looking at him with a pained expression on his face. He doesn't bother hiding it. He knows what Raph is talking about, and even if he doesn't interrupt, Raph knows that Mikey is struggling already with the thought of something going awry. "I know it's goin' to be hard. But... But you're the strongest of us all, Mikey. In here." Raph reaches over, placing a hand over his brother's plastron. "They're gonna need you. It's not fair, I know. But they are. Just... Just remember me for me, an' the good things. Keep goin'. Keep them goin'." Raph's smile is trembling, he knows. He sees Michelangelo struggle for a moment or two before he feels and sees Mikey let out a harsh, near-guttural breath. His eyes are glassy as if he's holding back tears. Then, Mikey nods.

"Okay," Mikey whispers. Raphael keeps the smile on his face and nods back. Then, Raphael pulls Mikey into a hug. He hugs him tight, and he can't help but notice just how small Mikey is compared to him. He feels even more sorrowful, knowing that Mikey is still the youngest but Raph is asking so much from him. He's come to realize and know that Mikey is incredibly powerful, and because of that, sometimes he forgets just how young Mikey still is. Raph tightens his grip. That seems to be enough for Michelangelo. He hugs back, and they stay that way for a few heartrending moments. Raphael eventually pulls back, and if he did so with a sniffle, no one is going to call him out on it.

Raph gives Mikey's shoulders one last squeeze before he releases his brother. He swivels his head back to their people, and Raph knows that they're ready. He finds his way back onto his feet and pushes through the crowd again, heading towards the front lines. He sees Leo. He's waiting for Raph. Raphael takes a deep breath to collect himself before he lets his focus overcome the dread that he'd experienced mere moments ago. He finds his rightful place next to Leo.

"You ready?" Leo's voice is quiet, a muted question. There's the slightest hint of uncertainty, and Raph knows more than anyone what Leo's feeling.

"Ready." Raphael agrees, and his response seems to bolster Leo. He grins. Raph returns it with a smirk, straightening as he turns to face the crowd. "We're moving out soon! Everyone get ready!" He rumbles, voice filling the hangar. There are a few cheers, and everyone scrambles to get last-minute preparations underway. Among them is Cass. He watches as she stoops to hug her son. Raph watches, his heart in his throat as Casey giggles in his mom's arms, his little head poking up past Cass' shoulder. He squeals when he's lifted up by his mom, and Raph feels like he shouldn't intrude on the moment. He turns away despite his aching heart. He's about to walk away when he hears Casey's unmistakable voice. It's not Casey's voice that stops him dead in his tracks. It's what he says.

"Pap?"

For what feels like an eternity, Raph's brain blanks. He stands still as his brothers all laugh, equal parts disbelief and amusement. All Raph can do is flounder. Flashes of Splinter enter his mind, memories of their father dancing before his very eyes. Suddenly, it all makes sense. It's like his world realigns. What his brothers say becomes mush, and he can't seem to process anything but the single word he'd heard. The tears that he's been holding back well up, and Raph turns around on his heels. He strides forward and then stoops down, making himself as small as possible with a waterlogged smile. "Casey!" Raph calls, and his voice cracks, arms reaching forward. His chest is impossibly tight again, but he doesn't care. This is all that matters.

Cassandra's expression melts from one of stark surprise to a quiet fondness, and she crouches to let Casey back onto the floor. Upon the sight of Raph's outstretched arms, Casey races over to him. There's no hesitation until he reaches Raph, and suddenly, Raphael doesn't know what to do with himself. He's become this small human's pap, and he loves little Case with all of his heart. His hands shake, and he can't seem to stop them. He hovers, more concerned than ever that he would somehow hurt Casey. It turns out that his uncertainty doesn't matter. Casey blinks at Raph owlishly, then turns towards the hand that isn't a prosthetic. Raph's heart clenches. Casey reaches out, settling his tiny hand in Raph's. It's barely big enough to circle around one of Raph's fingers halfway. Casey smiles, holding onto the hand even tighter. He hugs it with his whole body, and Raph can only stand so much. His throat burns and his tears make an appearance as he pulls the child—no, his son—close. He holds him against his face, eye closing. He's so small. Everything is clear now.

This war, this fight… It’s for their future. They fight for their right to hand down a world that is secure, safe, and bright. They fight for the right to live freely. They fight to ensure that their children will never have to face the same hardship that their guardians did. It's worth fighting for, down to the last drop of blood, and the last shred of breath.

Raphael doesn't want to, but he knows he has to. He pulls back, releasing Casey from his hug. Case giggles again in response, and his small hands reach for Raph's face. "Oh, Casey. Papa will be back very soon." He smiles through his tears, and Casey grows serious. Raphael can't help but be startled at the determination on Casey's young face, and he has to hold his breath as Case brushes away the tears from his face. Raph nudges his forehead against Casey's one last time, gentle and loving. He pushes his child towards the crowd that's accumulated to bid them luck and goodbye. Despite his young age, Casey seems to realize that it's time to say goodbye. He backs away, but he waves to Raphael the entire time.

With newfound strength and courage fortifying his soul, Raph can feel his ninpo practically crackling. He's going to bring down the Krang, no matter what. For his brothers. For the Resistance. For all those that he lost. For Casey. He lifts an arm to scrub at his face, getting rid of the remainder of his tears. When he talks again, his voice is strong and booms through the halls. "Let's move out!"

Raphael leads the entourage. His expression is set in stone, and his remaining eye burns with untamable fire.

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Somehow, Raph has always known that it would end this way. He's not one for grand maniacal plans like Donnie, not strategic like Leo, or even as mystically talented as Mikey. There is one thing that he knows how to do, something that he's better at than anybody else.

He knows it'll take everything he has.

But that's okay. It gives his brothers, Casey, April, and everyone in the Resistance a fighting chance. A shot at a better future.

He doesn't tell anyone that his mind is already made up. The chaos of the battle rages around them, but all sound is muffled to Raphael. There is an eerie calm descending on him. He can feel the dead weight of Leo in his arms. He glances around, and that's all he needs to conclude that they're in trouble. They're out of options. The sound of screams and cries of their people fighting—and losing—echo. It pierces through the shrouded veil that is surrounding Raphael. A newfound clarity settles, and the knowledge of what he's about to do makes him ache for all those he's leaving behind.

I'm sorry, Casey, he thinks, swallowing. Papa won't be making it home.

"Donnie. You were right," Raphael chuckles, the sound dry and wretched. He looks toward the holographic screen that has Donnie's face. "It is Leo that gets knocked out." At his words, Donatello's face twists. A flicker of understanding seems to bode before it disappears, a fierce look of denial taking over the lines of his face.

"Yes, well, I'm almost always right. 99.99% of the time," Donnie responds, his voice wrecked. It's a low sound, full of pain and a new kind of desperation.

Raphael lays Leonardo down, his ministrations endlessly careful and gentle. He forgets about his strength often because he's a tank; he's as destructive as he is obstinate. Even still, he is careful with his unconscious brother. Leo's prosthetic is destroyed. Raph glances at his own.

A Krang hound overwhelms Leo while he fights hundreds of others; it manages to sink its teeth into the metal of Leo's arm. Raph can do nothing but watch in horror as the hound shakes Leo like a ragdoll. The hound continues to slam the turtle around repeatedly with brutal strength as if it was determined to rip Leo's arm out of its socket as it had already done once before. In Raphael's hurry, he tackles the dog with his full body weight after he wrestles his way closer, sending Krang creatures sprawling from the sheer force he plows through them with. Leo slams into the ground, and the impact is hard enough to knock him out cold with a pained grunt. Raphael growls, the sound twisting into a bone-chilling snarl. His hands grasp the top of the Krang mutt's jaw in a crushing grip, the other latching onto the lower jaw. With a furious cry, Raph wrenches the dog's mouth open. Unnatural howls leave the creature's mouth as it struggles, its screams of pain growing more frequent. Raphael doen't stop there. Once the alien releases the wreckage that had once been Leo's prosthetic, Raphael gives a mighty heave accompanied by a roar of rage. How dare the Krang take Leo's arm again?

The gory sound of bones snapping and the wet, horrid sound of skin ripping fill the air until Raph releases the remains of what had been a Krang creature from his hands. He sucks in deep breaths of air, panting from the extra exertion of strength. He steps away from the bloody carnage, stumbling towards Leo. He presses his head to Leo's plastron, relief flooding in at the sound of a heartbeat. "Leo," he calls, throat hoarse. He shakes his brother, hoping to rouse him. "Leo!" There is no response. He's out cold, injured, and without an arm. Raphael has no way of getting him to safety.

His closed eye opens. Raphael shakes himself out of his reverie of recounting memories. He knows what he has to do. "Don, how long until the shuttles arrive?" He questions. He sounds calm, even to his own ears. He sees Donatello look away towards his wrist screen, and Raph knows what the answer is before Donnie even says it. Donnie's eyes are distant, his brain racing. It's going a mile a minute only to come to the same conclusion. Nothing. Donnie can't move, Mikey is overwhelmed and fighting to get people to safety, and Leo is unconscious. Raph is the last mutant standing.

"Donnie." Raph calls again. He still wants to hear the answer. His gaze is fixed on the holo screen, and Donnie looks back at him with fervent eyes.

"15 minutes." The answer is delivered in a voice that sounds small and defeated. Raphael nods. His nod is more to himself than anything. Everything comes at a price.

"Don. Remember what Raph said, okay?" That's all Raph has to say before a wretched cry sounds from Donnie.

"No! There's another way, we still have time! Raphael, don't fucking do this!" Donnie's panic, rage, and pain are imprinted clearly in his desperate plea. He knows what Raphael is about to do. Raphael only looks at him through the holo screen. He knows what he looks like. He looks grim, determined. Fierce. Donnie reads his intentions loud and clear and tries again anyway. Raph feels as if someone is twisting a katana in his heart when he sees the way Donatello's face crumples, the way his head slumps. He tips his head downwards. "Please, Raph. Please, don't do this. Please," Donnie begs, but there's nothing Raphael can give him as an answer. They have no choice. Donnie knows this. Raphael looks away from the screen. He looks down at Leonardo and the destroyed prosthetic. Wordlessly, Raphael smiles. It's soft, affectionate. Leo looks so young like this. Raph reaches over, and his large fingers find the spot he's looking for on his arm. His prosthetic detaches with a hiss. He presumes where he's going, he won't need this. He hears Donnie make a sound that sounds like a mournful, cut-off cry. Donatello is smart. He's already put together why Raph is doing this. There aren't many supplies to rebuild prosthetics anymore. Raph carefully places his metal arm over Leo. It positions over him as if it's cradling and holding the younger turtle.

"Donatello." The use of his full name forces Donnie to look up, and there are tears running down his face without reserve. Raphael grins, his infamous snaggletooth making an appearance. "Take care of yourself. Raph will always be with you. Don't blame yourself, or anyone else. I know you all, and I know you will keep fighting. Beat them for me. Then, when you win, like a boss-" Raph emphasizes, his voice trembling for just a moment, "-remember me. Tell everyone how much I love them." Donnie says nothing. He's looking away from Raphael now, and Raph understands.

Raphael stands up. The dust and wind generated by the battlefield whip the tail ends of his bandanna around. He takes a deep breath. His mind flashes to all the people he's met in his life. Behind his eyelids, all his memories play out. Mikey. Donnie. Leo. April. Splinter. Barry. Cassandra. The Resistance. Casey. His heart seems to swell. It's for them. A fierce inferno suddenly sparks to life, fueled by all his grief, love, and passion. He's doing this for them. He will protect them, even if it's the last thing he does.

When Raph opens his eye, it glows red. Surges of energy crawl over his body as electricity would, and his teeth grit. There is no more fear. He takes a step forward, and the very ground shakes from the force. Already, his ninpo has grown his size. Bigger, he thinks.

Another earth-shattering thud. Pain surges through him, his body warning him of its constraints. He ignores it. Bigger.

This time, the earth cracks open under his foot as he takes another step. The pain is excruciating. Raphael can see the red lines spidering through his flesh, the cracks he absorbs with his entire body. His form remains solid. With each movement, his body is falling apart. He knows that if he continues, his body will tear itself apart. He will break like glass, and he will die. The thought doesn't do anything for him, and it only emboldens him to go faster. "Bigger!" He roars, his voice carrying through the battlefield in a cry so searing and fierce, he gains the attention of the lead Krang.

Krang creatures scatter from under his feet. Those that don't, he crushes. He is far from caring. He moves his way forward, soul on fire. If he can protect his people, his family, Raph will gladly feed his soul as fodder to his ninpo. His eye is fixated on the lead Krang as he fast approaches. Even from this distance, he can see the way the disgusting pink flesh alien's arrogance melts away into pure, unadulterated fear. It feels good. Raph grins, and he knows that his form follows suit. By the time the Krang realizes his intentions, it's too late. The roar of rage, fear, and defeat that Raphael hears is music to his ears as he grasps the Technodrome. His sheer size dwarfs the once massive ship. It fits into his hands the way a ball would, and his sudden fury at the thought of all those he lost to this alien ship causes his fingers to grasp tighter. His fingertips dig into the ship, and the groaning creak it gives as he crushes it bit by bit is exhilarating.

Raphael lifts it above his head. His ninpo holds strong, but he can feel every molecule of his body breaking under the pressure. He looks up at the sky. He'd wanted to see the blue skies with everyone at the end. At least, this way, he could help them do that, even if it's without him. His eye closes. I'm so proud of you all. I'll see you again. For now, this is Raph out. Like a boss. With a heaving cry that threatens to cleave the sky open and rip the very fabric of time, Raph opens his one eye. Tears fall from it as he fixates it on the lead Krang, his savage smirk only growing wider. He swings his raised arms down, slamming the Technodrome ship down with all of his strength. He screams, channeling every fiber of his being into ensuring that the ship is completely, utterly destroyed. They will never endanger their people with this ship again.

There is a burst of light accompanied by an earthquake that topples buildings and splits the ground, dust clogging the sky in a dirty mist that is impossible to see through. With it, shards of red float and swirl through the air. Everyone who knows what it is also knows what it means.

Raphael is gone.

--------------------------------------------

There's nothing Mikey can do. He watches as his brother tears himself apart to fight against the Krang. He watches in horror as Raphael screams in equal parts fury and agony, destroying something that is a detrimental blow to the Krang. His hands shake, and his vision blurs, but he can't look away. A sob rips from his throat as he holds Leo, his eyes fixated on the crackling red figure in the distance. One hand cradles Leo while the other is clenched tightly on Raph's prosthetic arm. Somehow, Raphael knew. Somehow. Mikey doesn't know if Raphael is able to hear him, but he grasps the fingers of Raphael's prosthetic as if he is clutching onto his hand. "I'm here! Raph, I'm here! You're not alone, I'm here!" He screams like a wild animal; his tears and grief are unending. He screams as loud as he can, hoping, praying, willing that Raphael hears that he's not alone and that Michelangelo will keep his promise.

He looks until he is forced to close his eyes at the burst of light. There is no one but Mikey to catalog Raphael's final moments. He has to remember, to see everything.

When he opens his eyes. all he sees is a crumbling red figure. It deteriorates, shards floating in the air before it disintegrates. Almost like it never existed. As if Raphael never existed. Mikey stays where he is, too stunned and grief-stricken to even cry out anymore. He watches as Raphael's ninpo disappears. He feels reality slipping from his grasp. His mind can't help but shy away from the possibility that Raphael is truly gone. He denies such a reality, but even that comes to a stop. Something red flits down from the sky, and Mikey reaches up. His ninpo grasps the item, and when he brings it closer, Mikey feels his heart shatter. In his trembling hand is Raphael's bandanna. The only remnant of their brother's body. The only proof that he existed, other than their ashen memories. With shaky hands, Michelangelo brings it closer. He lays Leo down and looks around. Almost numbly, he takes Leo's abandoned odachi. He ties the strip of red around the handle, closes his eyes, and presses his forehead against it. He's only like that for a moment before his eyes open again. The fire that burns within is an anger that burns brighter than magma in a volcano.

In another time, Mikey hadn't understood the word hate. The concept had eluded his grasp. Now... Now he knows what hate is, and more. His loathing now knows no bounds. He hates the Krang. He loathes them. The embers of his hate lodge in his throat as he snarls silently, eyes beginning to glow a fierce yellow. He burns with the force of the sun, his usual warm rays of light turning cruel. He will destroy them all. His orange bandanna falls from his face in ashes, and with it, his hair is released. He faces the enemy that has regrouped shakily from Raph's attack. The enemy that now has set their eyes upon their allies and the rest of them. Mikey knows that the shuttles have landed. He is the last line of defense against the enemy and his allies that need time to escape.

He's never been more glad for that fact. His power crackles, surrounding him like a violent whirlwind. The power surges through his body, and he can feel it chipping away at the years he has left in his body. His hair grows longer, blowing in the wind of his rage without his bandanna to hold it back. He floats, rising higher and higher into the sky as his power builds like a hurricane. He raises his arms, and Michelangelo holds onto his ninpo with a savage ferocity that almost outweighs the pain at the knowledge that Raph is now gone. His fury reaches new heights.

The coals that burn in his throat finally give, and the scream he lets out is like a banshee's. With it, he releases his ninpo. His power is as unforgiving and brutal as the sea, waves of light matching the caliber of a primordial force perhaps as old as time. It floods over the battlefield like an ocean, golden light rolling in with the strength of a tidal wave and the speed of a riptide. He screams again, but it is a wordless cry of unmatched wrath. Michelangelo will burn them. He will destroy every single one until there's nothing by ash and death. They will suffer the way that they have suffered. The blinding wave of light engulfs the approaching Krang, and with inhuman, blood-curdling shrieks, they burn in the fire of Michelangelo's hate.

Mikey lands down, his feet on the ground. He pants as he looks at the razed land before them. Suddenly, all his strength ebbs from him as he falls to his knees. He feels empty. With a sudden hiccuping sob, Michelangelo raises his hands to his face, burrowing into them as he cries uncontrollably. Raphael is still gone.

--------------------------------------------

Donatello numbly watches as his wrist pad notifies him that the shuttle is arriving in 10 minutes. He feels detached. Everything is hazy, layered in a white fog. He feels as if nothing matters. He stays where he is, his eyes distant. His thoughts are quiet, for once. There's just... Nothing. He stares blankly at the horizon. He hadn't been able to see Raph's sacrifice. He isn't sure if he should feel grateful for that or not, so he doesn't think about it at all. There are other Krang and people fighting, but Donatello can't seem to pull himself together. It's all just so... Distant. Like he's not with this reality anymore. The logical part of his brain wonders if the powerful surges of energy and the earth-shattering showdown that has occurred have somehow transported him into a different universe. He almost laughs at the thought. Why does he feel nothing?

The shuttles arrive. The shuttles arrive but Donatello doesn't move. He watches as others run to the shuttle. He can't help but feel a little resentful towards them, a dull flare in the dark abyss. Do they know what sacrifice just occurred to save their lives? Are they grateful? A distant part of him observes from its detachment the observation he makes is unfair. Donnie doesn't care. In the far distance, he sees April looking around. He can even see her face wet with tears as she searches. Some part of him knows that she's looking for him. She's looking for Leo, Mikey, Raph, or him. His distant thoughts suddenly screech to a stop. Raph. Raphael. She... She won't be able to search for him anymore. She won't find him. Suddenly, everything becomes too sharp. Too clear. The agony that rushes in almost makes him wish for the detached daze he had just been in.

It's at that time that he hears Mikey's scream. It emotes all that he's feeling, and it delivers a blow so gut-wrenching that whatever breath is left in Donnie's lungs is stolen away. Another blinding white light envelops the field, and this time, he knows that it's Michelangelo. This knowledge makes this new reality jarringly, horrifically real.

Raphael is dead.

Just as the numb daze is about to return, Donatello is made aware of the hiccupping sobs that undoubtedly belong to Mikey. All his doubts disappear, and he is confronted with the reality that they've gone from four brothers to three. It's here that Donnie realizes—he'd never gotten to say goodbye. He'd never been able to tell Raphael that he loves him, too. Something wet trails down his face. He's shocked for a moment before he realizes, once again, that it's his tears. They run hot, splashing down his cheeks and onto his collarbone. Then, it's like the floodgates open. His shoulders shake as he wails, face upturned towards the sky as he screams, shouts, and rages. He can't breathe, but Donatello doesn't care. He doesn't. Everything hurts. Raphael had died alone, protecting them.

Donatello's sobs join Mikey's as they howl at the sky like feral, wounded animals, their grief raw and insurmountable. It presses on both of their shoulders, through their plastrons, and into their chests; the weight is so heavy that Donatello wonders if he'll ever be able to stand up again.

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delicatenightfury · 2 years

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"Don't marry him."

2021 Month of Writing: Day 30

Pairing: Thranduil x reader (takes place after the Hobbit)

Prompt:

youtube

Word Count: 2,614

Author's Note: please don't steal my work! you can choose to respond to the prompt as well, but don't steal my work

Y/N walked slowly through the garden. Her mind was in a hundred different places, overwhelmed to the point that she didn’t hear someone approaching her. She jumped when a hand lightly touched her arm. She spun quickly, sighing in relief when she saw Thranduil standing behind her.

“You startled me,” she said with a small laugh.

“That was not my intention,” he replied, offering a smile of his own. “Are you all right?”

“Hm? Oh yes. I am fine.”

Thranduil tilted his head. His eyes narrowed slightly, but not in a menacing way. More like he was studying her.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Y/N. Something is bothering you.”

Y/N looked down. He always knew. They had been friends for a long time, so of course he did.

“You know me well.”

“I’d like to think so. We have been friends for hundreds of years now.”

“Nine hundred and ninety-three.”

Thranduil smiled slightly, nodding. He had not lost track either.

“Tell me, Y/N. What troubles you?”

“Danir asked for my hand,” she breathed.

Thranduil froze. It took his mind a moment to catch up, and a moment longer for him to open his mouth to speak.

“When?”

“Yesterday.”

“I was not aware that you two were courting.”

“We are not. But he asked me anyway.”

“What was your response?”

“I couldn’t give one. Not then.” She ran a hand through her long hair. “I’m still thinking it over. Generally, it’s a smart match. He has good wages, so he’d be able to support his family. I don’t know much about him personally, though.”

“But could you love him?”

Y/N stopped.

Love.

It was something she always said she wanted. She had told Thranduil several times that she wanted to marry for love and not settle. She wanted to have a true, honest connection with a potential suitor before she considered marrying them. But she was aging. Most elleths her age were already wed and bearing children. Danir had approached her with an offer, one that could have a favorable outcome, but romantically?

“I’m not sure,” Y/N replied honestly. “I suppose with time, you can learn to love anyone.”

Thranduil nodded, but his body felt numb. He took a step back from her.

“I have disturbed you long enough,” he said. “I have duties I should return to, and you apparently have a decision to think over.” He bowed slightly at the waist. “Tenna’ ento lye omenta.” (“Until next we meet.”)

Before Y/N could respond, Thranduil turned away, his cloak fluttering behind him. His strides were long, carrying him quickly away from her and out of the garden.

Y/N watched him go, slightly concerned by his sudden change in emotion. She knew he had a habit of shutting people out, but she had rarely been one of them. They were always open with one another. That was what was so lovely about their relationship. Through the centuries, there had grown a deep bond of trust with one another, one that Y/N felt could not be broken. Not easily at least.

She hoped that whatever was bothering him would resolve itself. She would not interfere unless asked, but she would remain available in case he sought her out again. With one last glance in the direction the king had gone, she continued on in the other direction.

“Y/N.”

The elleth looked up from her book. A smile graced her features when she recognized the man at the doorway.

“Legolas,” she greeted. “Please, come in.” He entered the room and took the offered seat next to her. Y/N has been hiding away in the library, trying to clear her mind. There were too many things to be thinking about at the moment that they were starting to become overwhelming. “How can I help you, my prince?”

“Please, there is no need to call me by my title,” Legolas replied. He looked at her. “You and my father have been too close for you to start using titles now. You’ve been around most of my life, you know.”

“Believe me, I have not forgotten. I still remember a time where you struggled to pull the string of your bow back.”

The two chuckled at the shared memory. Y/N closed her book and set it to the side so she could give Legolas her full attention.

“You avoided my question, Legolas. Is there something I can do for you?”

Maybe just a simple walk through the castle. Or even through the nearby market. Perhaps he wanted to train a little. It had been a while since the two of them had trained together-

“Don’t marry him.”

She blinked in surprise. That is not at all what she was expecting him to say.

“What?”

“Danir. I know that he asked for your hand.” He looked at her, staring her in the eye as he spoke. “Don’t accept his proposal.”

“How- Wha- Legolas, why are you saying such things?”

“Because he is not the man you should tie your life to.”

“Why would you say that? He has the means to take care of a family.”

“And you don’t already? You are one of the most, if not the most successful swordsmiths in the Woodland Realm. You have people from all over Middle Earth asking for your skills. You have the means to take care of your own family.”

Y/N glanced away. She knew it was true. She was practically employed by the king, so she was paid handsomely for her craftsmanship. Not to mention the orders that came in every now and then from neighboring kingdoms and beyond.

“Perhaps I do. But that doesn’t mean I can’t marry him.”

“He doesn’t love you, Y/N.” Legolas grabbed her hands. “I have overheard him in the past. He is not one to remain committed. The very day he asked for your hand, he was flirting with another elleth. Amin hiraetha.” (“I’m sorry.”)

Y/N stood up and slowly walked to the small balcony. The sun was still in the sky, but was beginning to descend behind the treetops of the forest. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the window frame.

“I’ve heard of his drinking habits as well,” she commented. “The soldiers tend to gossip more than the palace maids.” She sighed. “I’m not getting younger. I don’t mean that in a way that sounds like that’s a bad thing. I’m just merely stating. There are not many ellon who are looking for an older wife, especially not one that would prefer to callous her hands by creating weapons instead of music.”

“That is not true.”

Y/N looked at him from over her shoulder.

“What?”

“Your words are not true. I know of someone who wants nothing more than to be with you.” She continued to look at him, confused. “My father.”

Y/N’s jaw nearly fell to the ground in shock. Thranduil? That couldn’t be. It… no, that wasn’t an option.

“Lle wethrine amin.” (“You deceive me.”)

“I assure you, I do not. I would not have said so otherwise, Y/N.” He slowly walked toward her. “He cares for you. For as long as I can remember, he has had his eye on you and only you.”

“No.” She was shaking her head.

“I am telling the truth. After my mother’s passing, he was cold. He spoke to no one unless it was a command. Even then, he was like stone. No one could get through to him. Until he met you. He changed after that. Like you forge metal, you made him into a new man.”

“He can’t… he can’t care for me. Not that way.”

Legolas looked at her, confused as to why she was trying so hard to deny his words.

“What are you talking about?”

“He is the king. I’m a swordsmith. We should barely be friends, Legolas. Why would he love someone who can give him nothing?”

“Nothing? What about love? Happiness? Peace? A family? He could care less if you have no land to give, or no title to your name. He cares for you the way you already are.”

Y/N could barely think. Thranduil… cared about her. Potentially loved her. Was that why his mood had soured so quickly in the garden? She looked back through her memories, trying to find the pieces she had missed over the years. The looks that might suggest he felt for her the same things she…

She looked at Legolas.

“I’ve been a fool,” she muttered.

He couldn’t help but smile.

“So you’ve realized it.”

She nodded.

“I need your help, Legolas.”

“Amin naa lle nai.” (“I am yours to command.”)

“Legolas tells me that you summoned me?”

Y/N glanced over her shoulder, smiling when she saw Thranduil standing there. He was dressed in silver robes that seemed to dance in the mixture of fire and moonlight.

“Yes. Hama sinome. I’m almost finished.” (“Have a seat.”)

She listened as Thranduil did as she asked. She focused on the item before her, using her tools to add the final details she felt it needed. From her position, she could see Thranduil perfectly well; he was seated in a larger comfortable chair that she had for when she was waiting for projects to cool or when she needed a rest. It also served as a good place for the elven king to sit when he came to visit. The disadvantage from his perspective was that he could not see what she was hunched over.

“I’ve had a pretty eventful day today,” she said.

“Is that right?” She hummed. “How so?”

“For starters, I told Danir no.”

From the corner of her eye, she saw Thranduil tense, which made her smile.

“Why?”

She shrugged, brushing away the little shavings of metal from her workplace.

“We would not fit well together. And I realized I could not love someone while my heart belonged to another.”

Again, she saw Thranduil tense.

“Another?”

Y/N almost wanted to laugh at the fact that she had reduced him to single word answers.

“Yes. Before, I had thought that my love could not be returned, so I buried it. What I had not realized was that while I was burying my own feelings, I was blind to the fact that my love had the potential to be returned.”

“May I ask who this man is?”

She could tell he was trying to hide the hurt. Now that she knew, she could tell. He wanted to sound happy for her, but they had known each other long enough that he couldn’t hide much from her.

Y/N brushed off her project and picked it up.

“In a moment, indoer. Kwara sina ten’amin.” (“Hold this for me.”)

She tossed the item to him so quickly that he had no chance to respond. He caught it in midair, but was giving her a playful glare.

“Moody one?” he questioned, referring to the name she had called him.

She simply smiled and nodded to what was now in his hand. She had spent all afternoon and evening working on the beautiful ring in his hand. It was designed to look like branches, woven with leaves and antlers. Scattered around it were several small diamonds, which Legolas had kindly shared from the White Gems of Lasgalen.

Thranduil ran his fingers over the ring, tracing the patterns she had spent hours on.

“It’s beautiful,” he complimented. “But that is to be expected from a talented crafter like yourself.”

“You didn’t see the inner engraving.”

He turned the ring at an angle to properly see what she was talking about.

“Ui mela en’ coiamin. Everlasting love of my life.” He smiled at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m sure the ellon who gets this is going to love it. You must be looking forward to giving it to him.”

“I already have.”

His eyes shot to meet hers. He looked so stunned that it made Y/N laugh. She stood up and approached him. She carefully wrapped her hands around his larger one, the one holding the ring.

“Legolas told me,” she said, her voice softer now. She wasn’t sure how he was going to react. “He had heard about Danir’s proposal and came to me. He said that there was someone who truly wanted me. Someone who did not care that I was a simple swordsmith with no title.”

As she lifted her gaze to look at him, she felt him move as well. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. She nearly fell over but managed to catch herself on the back of the chair. However, she had ended up in his lap, held tightly in his arms.

“Meleth nîn,” he said into her chest. (“My love.”)

Y/N smiled and hugged him back. She did not know how much time had passed as they held one another, nor did she care. She would gladly remain in his embrace forever. Eventually, he did pull away, revealing the large smile on his face as he looked up at her.

“I love you,” he said.

She smiled back at him.

“I love you,” she said, pressing their foreheads together.

“You know,” Thranduil said after a moment. “It is quite unfair that you got me a ring first.”

Y/N laughed.

“Well then. You’ll just have to help me make another.”

“I suppose I shall. But first,” he stood up, helping her set her feet on the ground before pressing a kiss to her hand, “I believe rest is in order.”

“And perhaps a light meal. I think I skipped dinner.”

“I shall have someone bring it up to our chambers.”

“Our?”

He smiled.

“Did you think I was going to let you go after this? You’re mine, love, and I do not intend to be separated from you unless absolutely necessary.”

“Woah.”

Y/N smiled at the awed faces before her.

“What happened after that?” Farryn asked. The little elleth had been engrossed since the beginning of her mother’s story.

“Your ada and I made my ring together.” She turned her hand so they could see the metal ring that glistened with gems. “We courted for a time before getting married.”

“And then you had us?” Gailon asked.

“Well first we had Rîndir, then we had you and Farryn.” She smiled down at her three children. “And we are so happy that we did because we love you all so, so much.”

“Will you tell us another?” Rîndir asked.

Y/N hugged her eldest son, chuckling.

“Not tonight,” she said. “It’s time for bed.” The three started to complain. “Don’t start. Remember, Legolas promised to teach you all how to shoot an arrow tomorrow. You have to be rested for that.”

The children cheered and hurriedly climbed into bed, making their mother laugh as she tucked them in.

Thranduil smiled from the doorway, watching as his wife kissed each of their children on their foreheads and whispered goodnight. He reached out to her as she finally approached, smiling at her. They gently shut the door behind them and made their way to their own room.

“Quite a story to tell before bed,” Thranduil remarked.

“Farryn wanted a love story,” Y/N replied. “Rîndir wanted one about his adar and Gailon wanted a story about his naneth. I had to compromise somewhere.”

Thranduil gently kissed his wife, smiling down at her.

“A perfect story then. I’m rather fond of the ending.”

Y/N smiled.

“So am I. Though I do believe the story is just beginning.”

#month of writing #writing prompt #Thranduil #Thranduil x reader #elf!reader #tolkien #the hobbit #lord of the rings #legolas #Youtube

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truthseeker-blogger · 4 months

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*UPDATE - GOFUNDME*

Good morning, It's been 3 months to the date since my last update here on gofundme, I apologize for that. I've mainly kept most people abreast on tumblr, though I do realize all are not on that platform.

I had pneumonia in November just before Thanksgiving, then early December, I contracted covid. Matt had confirmation of covid as of yesterday.

Thankfully, a doctor was on call on a Sunday, and I was able to get medication for Matt.

Then, there was another confrontation last week with the dog upstairs being off leash and attacking Justice while we were outdoors. Both dogs are fine, but I am still shook about it.

I did create a sign for the front door and place it there when I take Justice outside, and no one upstairs has to question whether we are outside or not.

We had heavy rains the week before Christmas, resulting in several inches of water in the basement. We had to throw out several rugs, but we were able to save a couple of throw rugs and air them out. It was exhausting, just coming off of sickness, using a wet vac and broom to push water out of our room to the sump pump on the other side of the basement.

A rather tall shelving unit almost toppled over onto me due to a rotted leg from water damage, over the years, I imagine, and I had to make adjustments where to store canned goods, and shift things around a bit in our very limited space.

We had more rain a few days ago, but only a small puddle came through the wall. We lost power for a few hours due to someone's vehicle hitting two poles down the street.

I just wanted to say due to donations the last several months, we were able to get another air mattress, pay some bills, buy my son a rain jacket and boots as Christmas gifts, otherwise there would be nothing for him.

This was the third Christmas for my son without his father being alive, his father's birthday would have been 2 days before Christmas, and my son handled it well. One night recently, I reflected on the fact it's been a year since he was hospitalized and grateful he is home and not hospitalized.

Matt still has pain in his shoulder no matter the task he does at work. It's the repetition, I believe. He continues to lose time out of work, but he is a real trooper pushing through the pain most days. I won't go into specifics here publicly because it is ongoing, but at least the court case started in October.

Many requests came through from the defense which are being opposed by our attorney, due to the information requested being irrelevant to a deck not being built to code and causing bodily harm to Matt.

We are sure more delaying tactics will be expected, though frustrating. Your donations helped with numerous things over the past year, doctor copays, mri scans, gas money, pay bills, food, replace items due to mold, even treats and toys for Justice, as he is surely feeling the confinement of being in one room.

We continue to have lost wages due to sickness. I lost 3 weeks pay due to sickness, and will lose another week in quarantine this week. Matt will also lose pay this week due to covid.

You helped us not lose our sense of autonomy, as we wade through these difficult waters.

We were able to feel like human beings, not inanimate objects, stored away in a basement, forgotten.

We hold onto the faith, our lives will be restored to be once again living in our own household. We wish to thank you all for your continued support, prayers and donations.

Without you, I shudder to imagine where we would be. We are forever indebted for your generosity, and support.

May you have a blessed, healthy new year with you and your families.

With much love and gratitude, Mary and Matt 🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤❤❤

Numbers 6:24-26

‘May the LORD bless you and protect you. May the LORD smile on you and be gracious to you. May the LORD show you his favor and give you his peace.’

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victorluvsalice · 3 months

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AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark -- Duskwall Slang

Since we did a VITD lookbook yesterday, I figured we might as well keep the train going today and talk a little bit about some of the worldbuilding I've done for the Valicer In The Dark version of Duskwall (the main setting of Blades In The Dark). Specifically, I've decided to share the short list of slang that I've come up with for people to use! Because that's always fun, right? :) The first entry on this list is taken from the book itself (page 42, specifically) and adapted a little bit, but all the rest are purely my own invention:

-->“Flashing a/their/your Coin” and variants – making an ostentatious display of wealth, to the disgust of everyone around them (the term "Coin" itself is in fact slang for a large sum of money, taken from the days when the Imperial treasury would actually mint large solid gold coins intended to cover major transactions; most people these days rely on small silver pieces called "slugs"). Example: “You spent all that money on THAT outfit? Really flashing your Coin, huh?”

-->“Moving to Six Towers” – indicates that the person said to be moving was previously rich and important, but has fallen on extremely hard times and is on the verge of ruin (referencing the fact that Six Towers USED to be one of the richest neighborhoods in the city, but has turned into a bit of a slum with most of the nobility previously living there moving into Brightstone). Example: “The Everglots’ leviathan ship hasn’t had a good haul in six months. Think they’ll be moving to Six Towers soon.”

-->“Scavenging in the Lost District” – indicates that the person said to be scavenging is taking an INCREDIBLE risk in the hopes of getting a high reward (due to the Lost District being an abandoned neighborhood outside the lightning barrier keeping the city safe and guarded by the Spirit Wardens...but also having many lost riches within its bounds). Example: “You want to rob Lord Mayor Powerwallet? Talk about scavenging in the Lost District!”

-->“Living Coin to Coin” – living paycheck to paycheck, as the average weekly wage in Duskwall is equivalent to a Coin’s worth of money. Example: “Poor old Tom – what with his sick mother and five children needing feeding, he’s living Coin to Coin.”

-->“Only good for mushrooms” – indicates that the thing being talked about is absolute shit. Example: “Don’t order the ‘special ale’ at the Withered Talon, it’s only good for mushrooms.”

-->“You want to call the crows?” – equivalent of “You want to get us killed?” in response to a risky course of action (referencing the Deathseeker crows that find corpses for the Spirit Wardens). Example: “You want to FIGHT Lord Mayor Powerwallet’s bodyguards? You want to call the crows?!”

-->“Barrowcleft approved” – indicates the item in question is homemade but of very high quality (Barrowcleft being a poor, rural neighborhood with one of the best, and fairest, markets in the city). Example – “You carved this yourself? Why, this is Barrowcleft approved work and no mistake!”

-->“Dust Day fare” – an extremely meager meal made from poor-quality ingredients, referencing the popular nickname for the fifth day of the week from Charhollow, which itself references the fact that poor people’s food stores are the thinnest on this day. Example – “Canal water soup with potato peelings. This is Dust Day fare, all right.”

-->“Crit Six/rolled a crit six” – means that something is exceedingly good, or that something that you have done has succeeded beyond your wildest dreams; references the most popular dice game in Duskwall, where rolling double sixes is an automatic win. Example – “I went to open the safe, and I rolled a crit six – the door practically came off in my hands!”

-->“Welcher” – a term for someone who hires a criminal or crew for a job, and then not only refuses to pay them, but actively tries to murder them (directly or otherwise) to avoid doing so. Only one of the highest leaders of the most well-known crews may declare someone a Welcher, and then only after receiving sufficient proof, as the term is a death sentence – the scoundrels of Duskwall do not take kindly to their clients trying to stiff them, in both senses of the word. Example: “All right, I’ve seen enough – I’m ready to declare that Lord E.A. Bethesda is a Welcher. Hope he’s prepared for every scoundrel in the city coming for his ass...”

Further updates to come if and when I think of more stuff! Which I probably will, as this is fun. :)

#valicer in the dark au #blades in the dark #slang #okay okay the 'crit six' one is actually a reference to the fact that rolling double sixes in the RPG itself is a critical success #I couldn't resist the meta fun XD #and 'welcher' comes from the fact that the GM is actively encouraged NOT to have anyone who hires the scoundrels betray them #as that is good for a story but doesn't make for good gameplay #I wanted to explore WHY people might not want to screw the PCs over #and came up with 'anyone who does it winds up very very dead'#poor Lord EA Bethesda :p #that's a real character in my Duskwall by the way #maybe I should do a character list for a future update #I actually have a decent amount of worldbuilding ready to go #though I still have to finish up a few more sections #like a few more details on how ghosts work #the book keeps a lot of stuff deliberately kinda vague and sketchy so you can fill in the gaps with your group #free real estate for fanfic writing purposes that's for damn sure :D #queued

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jabbage · 1 year

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#Letters from Watson #lettersfromwatson

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mbrainspaz · 2 years

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hrrrrrrrrrrr I'mmmm simmering with poorly suppressed rage

⚠️swears incoming

the teenage coworker is coming in to work to cover for the other guy today because he and the only other worker are out sick. And both of those guys keep trying to come to work sick too. I told the one guy who made it in to get lost yesterday morning because he looked clammy as hell and I ended up working an extra 2 hours. That's 10 f*cking hours of farm work, alone, in a 120F heatwave. My blisters have blisters. Started to draft an email asking the boss if I could pretty please be paid for the 2 hours overtime I worked and thought better of it. Because I'm starting to understand that's not how things work around here. And turns out the other guys informed the boss lady only to have her be like 'well if you guys want to handle this among yourselves that's fine but I don't want to hear about it.' And they all just go along with that?! F*CK. This is so f*cking stupid. 'We have a great healthcare plan' my ass. If your employees are pressured to work with a fever and a cough your health plan aint worth shit. So this stupid teenage coworker who told me yesterday she has 9$ in her account is driving her truck 2 f*cking hours to come in this afternoon to help me get the barn chores done--on her day off--for ZERO DOLLARS. She's like, 'it's the spirit of teamwork! :D' Honey bless your heart but f*ck that. Farm and ranch work doesn't always have money to give but the people who run this place live in million dollar mansions, work in air-conditioned offices, and doordash every meal-- and we're out here hobbling around on aching feet for ZERO DOLLARS PER HOUR? For the spirit of teamwork. Boss lady recently told me, "You should simply only work 8 hour days." "Great plan Sharon. Who's going to feed the horses on time when it's my day off and all the other workers have collapsed from exhaustion because they were naive enough to buy into your toxic unpaid hustle culture bullshit?" I already have 8.5 unpaid hours logged because that's what it took to take care of the damn horses I'm supposed to be caring for. That's more than a day of work they just decided they didn't need to pay me for. Goddamn us americans we are so f*cking stupid. Not like I can do anything about it when they're letting me live onsite and that's the only way I can afford to f*cking live. But I'm not 19 anymore! I'm not the stupid idealist who was happy to work for crumbs and 'the spirit of america' or whatever the f*ck. Because look what that got me. I got the whole damn community trying to f*cking murder me. Multiple times, in ever more creative ways. Oh, and kiddo tells me "it's fine, I'll probably have to work 12 hours tomorrow." Like f*ck you will. Honey it's supposed to be a job, not a free trial version of hell. You're not earning or proving shit by working this hard for a dollar less than a living wage. You think this company cares that you show up 30 minutes early every day? That you do your job well? That you genuinely care about doing good work? That you cover for sick coworkers? They never will. The company--every company--will chew you up and spit you into the dirt, and call you ungrateful for not working harder--NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. Hun there ain't no promotions for best grindset in the real world. There's only getting fired or laid off because your usefulness ran out.

(f*ck you tumblr for limiting the size of my wall of angry text)

But I'm not a monster so of course I offer to pitch in EVEN THOUGH I know I just picked up a second art contract due in 15 days. Ya know, my work that actually would make me enough money to live above the poverty line if I could ever just get a stable living situation. I need a drink so freaking bad. I can't afford to drink because I don't have a single spare minute to unwind ever, obviously, but I can't be sober 24/7 in a situation this goddamn stupid and not implode with righteous anger. Damn it. Why can't they just pay their workers?!?!!? Y'all don't want me to be sober. I will start a f*cking revolt. "There's just no money in the business budget waaaaah." "Yeah well there are no fucks left in my cynical overworked socialist heart Sharon. Have the salaried office workers tried eating fewer goddamn avocados?"

#rant #righteous anger #essential worker life #life of a texan peasant #things that happened #alcohol tw #and pretty sure it's illegal for farm and ranch workers to unionize in TX so there you go #life among the fish people

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ineffablehogwash · 1 year

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I'd like to vent about my service industry job for a moment, feel free to ignore. I'd put a break if the fucking mobile app would let me, but I can't get it rn, so I'm sorry.

As a preface:

Already having 10+ years food service experience, I slid into this job with practically no training needed, and have now been here for a year, busting my ass and doing far more than I ever should have between prep, cleaning, service, etc. (and just to side-gripe, never gotten any sort of raise or recognition from the men with the money.)

Despite her admittedly having some kind of gross hot takes and political opinions, between going through our late ADHD diagnosis and treatment together and having similar job/general life experiences, I've become decent friends with my current manager. Unfortunately, part of our shared experience is being/having been food service managers for a place with ignorant, stingy, trash-men as owners.

In a commercial kitchen it is a legal requirement here (and in most places) to have a ventilation hood, and is something that a single notification to the local fire marshall would incite immediate closure and steep fines for. There are exceptions to this rule, but that's for places like Smoothie King where they don't even as much as bake cookies in-house.

We are not a Smoothie King.

We utilize a full gas setup for a double frier, flat top grill, stove top range, and two ovens, in a kitchen that may be smaller than some of your living rooms.

When using these kinds of equipment without a functional hood, not only can it raise the temperature to disgustingly, nauseatingly-high temperatures, it also allows for smoke, airborne grease particulates, and toxic fume byproducts building up in the kitchen, and depending on various circumstances and floor plans, creep into customer areas.

Well, my manager and I had noticed and notified the owners starting at least two weeks ago that ours was making a lot of noise that did not seem normal or okay.

We were blown off, mansplained to about 'moisture on the fan belts causing a little noise now and then', and a lot of other bullshit excuses to just ignore it.

This kept going day after day, progressively getting worse every time we turned it on. I could not hear anyone over the noise it was making unless I left the grill side altogether. I feel like this goes without being said, but this makes busy service more difficult than it needs to be.

Yesterday, New Years Eve, the main owner was there while it made more Jurassic Park sound effects and still blew it off while the manager and I both stared at him. I finished my shift out and left.

Later, come time for dinner service, it finally happened.

Here are excerpts from the text conversation I had with the manager:

"The hood motor completely died during dinner tonight. That sound we’ve been hearing was the fan bearings shattering. They’re trying to still do brunch tomorrow. We will close after, stay closed until Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday at the earliest. HAPPY NEW YEAR, enjoy your day (days?) off! 🤡🔫"

..."I've been on and off the phone with them while they tried to rig it with the spare intake motor. The bearings completely destroyed it tho. I said "So no brunch?" and he said we'll still do brunch, just with the door open and a fan. I said "No one should work that grill without a hood, it's illegal for a reason." ..."

"He seemed flabbergasted that we might not want to work without a hood. ..."

"This is the most comical, theatrically written moment of karmic retribution, and they're completely ignoring the bad omen staring them in the face lmao"

"CMON JUST BE COOL GUYS, THINK OF THE BUSINESS."

Of course it devolved into meme trash:

So since I have a child to feed and they are the type to opt towards spending thousands of the shop savings on unnecessary music equipment for events that don't pertain to us, but can't use that same pool for preventative equipment maintenance, repairs, or lost wages due to negligence of said maintenance, I went in for my opening shift this morning.

Ending up just being me watching this disrespectful, mansplaining, stoned out of his mind, "I'd vote for Obama again" performative liberal stutter and flounder, arguing with the manager about whether to be open or closed, making very insensitive comments about "needing the money too" and "no one wanting to work anymore" (paraphrasing, and a lot of comments hyper-situational to a few of our individual circumstances) until he broke and called it.

Now we're closed indefinitely because of the holiday timing. 🙃

I'm awaiting the update call from the manager - seems they stayed behind to continue yelling at one another, but she said she wants to help me fix up my resume.

Fuck this place, this job, this industry, and capitalism, and uh, thank you for reading I guess?

Anyway, want some shitty fan art done of your favorite ships or ocs? Proceeds go to this temporarily out-of-work nb parent lol

#happy new year #work sux #personal

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whatdoesshedotothem · 2 years

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Sunday 9 September 1832

6 20

12 5

stood an hour just after getting out of bed reading Biajolis’ Italian grammar – finish morning – F64° at 6 20 am – breakfast at 8 ½ with my father – finished reading last nights courier – came upstairs at 9 35 – read from p. 7 to 85 vol. 1 Jamesons’ mineralogy – then asleep half an hour downstairs at 11 55 – read the service and sermon 8 Mr. Knight in 50 minutes as usual and came upstairs again before 1 – my aunt not so well today as yesterday – from 1 20 to 6 10 at my desk - wrote 3 pages and ends and under the seal pretty small and close to V- ‘Shibden Hall Sunday 9 September 1832 - The Lady Vere Cameron - How well - how proper my direction will look! you will guess how delighted I am, and how very much and sincerely I congratulate you, and you both - all is now right - everything seems to go well with you - and I shall talk no more of anxiety about you, for fear of bordering on ingratitude to heaven for all kinds of blessings shewed so thickly on you. Indeed, indeed, my dearest Vere, I am quite happy for your sake, and know not that I have one wish concerning you unsatisfied - your letter from Brussels was all I wanted - I longed to know what you were about and where - nor you, nor anybody had told me of your going to B- an excellent plan for saving the duty on your carriage, and bringing you direct to the Rhine - you would have Donald to take care of you at St Bavan, so no fear of priestly conversation - and you really let him go to Waterloo by himself! Excellent - I see, you are going to be your own very self and so habitual and great is my respect for your discretion, that I fell as if there was a certain necessity for your being right, and am rapidly progressing towards approving, and liking what the less proper grain of my own nature would otherwise have rebelled against up to this very moment – By the time you see me, I shall have lost all wish even to ‘corrupt Donald’ and I suppose one of the differences your marriage will have made, will be, that you lead 2 people by the nose instead of one - Surely you will be at Rome at Easter’ - mention my aunt’s being so much worse than usual lately that I could not leave her unless better - otherwise had intended being off the middle or end of January, going by the Corniche and being at Rome for the Carnival - Do not quite give up all hope yet and beg her to give me any travelling memoranda that might be of use - nice cheerful letter all things considered from Lady S- did not where to direct to her or should have answered V- by return of post – politics – bad prospect for the winter –expect the mill I have spent so much upon will hardly be allowed to stand over it – ‘a fearful no. of people have turned out for

SH:7/ML/E/15/0115

increase of wages – the different trades have their respective unions; and each member, on admission, binds himself by a solemn and dreadful oath to obey their ‘officers’ in everything, even in murdering a bad master – they hold weekly meetings in large rooms which they allow no one to enter while they are there, and all that transpires is, that they make a noise as if they were at a military drill, and that 40 or 50 pistol shots and more are commonly fired off in one night – a pistol is fired over every mans’ head immediately on his taking the oath, so that the no. of shots tells the no. of new members – they vow vengeance against machinery’...... and I expect the mill will not be allowed to stand – reform bill hardly mentioned – tis now the national debt that is to be got rid of – wish we may get as quietly over the winter here as I trust they will in Italy – wrote to and nice letter from Breadalbane - ........ ‘I shall be glad to hear you have found your friends well, particularly the Fosters – Do pray give my compliments and congratulations to Lady Albinia – I am going to write a little more on the occasion to Lady Harriet – I am really delighted that this right thing is done at last – and by your means too – you did well to open your letter to give me Donalds’ love – you must give him mine in return, and manage this matter for us with your usual discretion – tell me have you seen your excellent friend Lady Northland? God bless you, my dearest Vere – may your happiness be, if possible, uninterrupted as it is great – my aunt is pleased by you remembering her, and bids me give her kind remembrances and congratulations – affectionately yours AL- your health is too good to be inquired after nowadays? I wish you said one word about it’ - wrote 3 pp. and under seal to ‘my dear Lady Harriet in spite of all you used to say in Paris of this and that being of no use in Denmark, I really cannot resist writing my congratulations – However careless you may be on the subject, the days are not yet come to us in England when the thing is of no value – it seems but a matter of right in this case; and, depended upon it, all your England friends are pleased with your new address – I think Monsieur de Hagemann will agree with me – at all rates, nothing which seems to me of any sort of good, can happen to you, without my being very sincerely glad of it – tho’ you have not seen me this summer, and may not the next, I may still call upon you one of these days for your promised potatoes’ – chitchat – mention of my aunts’ being so far from well as usual or hoped to be at Rome at Easter – a little of politics – the people not a bit more contented for the reform bill – now want to be rid of the national debt – ‘I know you almost abominate writing or I should say, do let me hear how you all are – my aunts and my love to the children and compliments to M. de H- ‘I thought Mrs. Camerons’ place on the banks of Lochiel one of the most beautiful situations in the Highlands – Vere will be the lairds’ wife, my lade of Lochiel, head of the Camerons, and quite a personage in Scotland – the people speak of him with something like adoration – many a bonfire or many a hill will greet Veres’ arrival; and I really do believe she will be happy – very truly yours AL’ – then wrote a full ½ sheet and 1 p. of envelope to Lady S- very kind letter anxious about her – hope the sea air will do her good etc. cannot bear to hear of her being ‘solitarily as possible’ – had it been possible for me to leave home should have offered to run up and pay her a visit of a little while at the Lodge on her return – but added to other things my aunt has lately been so unwell could not leave – very weak and suffers a great deal – but hope her illness is only temporary – but for this meant to be off as soon after Xmas as I could and be at Rome at Easter – as it is know not what I shall be able to do – Vere begs me to send my letters undercover to her, Lady S- have written also to Lady Harriet to congratulate her – delighted that the courtesy is got at last – hope Lady S- will not be angry at me for ordering the postage to be paid but so many letters for other people are quite ashamed – if I sent them in the ordinary way should have more to pay – she will really do me a great kindness by letting me go on this way when Lord Stuart is out of reach – afraid she did not get the 2 brace of moorgame sent on the 13th ultimo directed to Whitehall –‘it will really be a comfort to me to hear good accounts of you – ever my dear Lady Stuart affectionately and very truly yours A. Lister’ – Dinner at 6 ¼ - came to my room again at 6 40 and wrote all but the first 4 ½ lines of today and sent off at 8 5 my letter to ‘the Lady Vere Cameron’ and letter to ‘the Lady Harriet de Hagemann’ and letter to the ‘Honourable Lady Stuart at Miss Tates’ Langsdown, near Southampton, Hants’ – did not write post paid but desired John to pay the postage and take care it was marked paid at p.o. - wrote 2 ½ pages to Dr HSB- in answer to his letter and prescription of the 28th ult. dated tonight - ‘a very pretty sort of a person I am to write and consult a physician and make out a story of complaint as long as today and tomorrow! I see it is so long since, my dearest Steph, as the 28th ult. that I received your very kind and healing letter; for I have thought myself best ever since - I told you I had confidence enough for anything and the fact is, I was so satisfied to find what I had brooded over so moodily was no more than internal torpor, that I no longer cared about it, and being really very busy, put off the dosing till the Sunday, forgot it - have done the same today, and am therefore now determined to wait till my out-of-doors jobs are done, and I have leisure enough to make myself ill enough by thinking about it - I am quite sure your prescription will set all rights - and I thank you very much for it as also for that most palatable, but pleasant, impossible one, of spending a week with you - I should like nothing better; but neither for pleasure nor health, could I leave home now - my love to Harriet and thanks for all the part she has taken in it - I have no thought of being in York again without paying my long thought of visit - but, when that will be, I have no idea’ - mention my last letter from M- and ‘the rainy miseries of her anniversary club day the wetting they all got, in consequence of which they turned short from the church door to Peakes’ for hot tea and bread and butter instead of cold prayers and sermon and Charles, finding no religion in the way, ordered horses, and drove off bag and baggage, wife and all - she tho’ pretty well used to this carpe-diem, fugit-dum-loquimur-invida-aetas kind of going on, yet seemed to have been rather put out by it, left writing box, and all such menus plaisirs behind, and wrote as she could - Does not C- require a sedative? I will not write much more, because it is hard upon you to read it - you have done me what is called a world of good, and I am really very much obliged, and very faithfully A. Lister’ - wrote the last 20 ½ lines and went down into the little room at 9 25 - no! at the moment letter 3 pages and ends and under the seal from M- Brighton dated Friday the 7th going to Worthing yesterday for ten days - has met with the very person to suit

SH:7/ML/E/15/0116

me as a lady’s maid Mademoiselle Eugenie Pierre, aetatis 23, lived with Lady Herbert who will give her a character - left her because she reduced her establishment and makes one maid do for herself and her daughter - wages 23 guineas - her father has been in the commissariat department at Rouen for 15 years - does not associate with common servants but always civil and attention to them - not smart but always neat and clean, and very tidy and methodical - M- has seen her sister Mademoiselle Pierre teacher in a school at Brighton ‘is a very ladylike person’ - Eugenie in France but coming over - has friends in England with whom she can wait till I want her - will wait my answer from M- Esther Dalton to marry Dr Travis and Bell said to be going to marry his younger brother William! Just added the following to my letter to Steph - ‘I have this moment had another letter from M- dated Brighton - they were to go to Worthing on Saturday (yesterday) for she supposed ten day s- and will probably give up Hastings - the very act of travelling knocks me up tho’ I seem to do little else than sleep all the way’ - ‘her earache gone long ago, and never deaf since then - but somehow I am uneasy about her - ‘I am tolerably well - bilious occasionally’ - my letter is to be directed Post Office Worthing - it seems the N-s and Mrs N- are not returned - Brighton very full and gay - but C- does not like it’ – note this morning before breakfast from Mr. Parker to say there would be a meeting of the trustees of the Leeds and Whitehall road on Wednesday at Birstall, but Washington will be at York and Mr. P- advises me to wait until there is a meeting at H-x – went downstairs at 9 40 – read over almost all the courier – came to my room at 10 ¾ - wrote the last 19 lines till 11 20 at which hour F67° - fine day – never once stirred out of doors –

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the-firebird69 · 5 months

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There has been a lot of loss all over the place but our son is in the home of Stan and Sherry and apparently they have lost a lot of people from what we see. The warlock a responsible as they are attacking the basis and bunkers and still are and they are to blame and they're disgusting and they're making a mistake on top of being unkind.

-the bunkers in the North are almost gone they're probably 80% out all of them from BC all the way back to BC. In the Sahara the first ring is out and what's left is the 20 on the interim and they're more difficult to breach. And what's left in the Amazon is similar but they had a lot of ordinance in there so it is taking longer but the outer ring is 70% gone and that's amazing these are not small the hands are not unprofessional and the well I've had it apparently they are not tolerating it anymore and they are destroying these facilities the entire thing. And across the middle areas on average they're all 50% out in the United States it's probably 60% out most of the western states except for Colorado are clear and we're working on them right now and the bugs did not come out and they didn't even get there that's true and they raided and they left.

-there's a couple more spots Canada and it's well that's similar now those bunkers are gone except for the Mac bunkers Max the empire. All of them are out yes and all of them in Russia including Northeast are completely gone and the upper Midwest they are almost out completely and the ones hanging in there are New England and are about 20%, and the ones in Pennsylvania and around that area are about 80% and the ones near British Columbia are about 50%. Mostly the ones the upper Midwest will be gone shortly. It's really not much of a presents except for what they were and it will be reconstituted and we will invade. And the areas of the Midwest that are a week the upper Northwest of the Midwest will be invaded and most of the middle areas and that will be today it'll be a huge evacuation of people holding on and the Dakotas too. Momentarily right now this is a huge evacuation starting there It started about 30 minutes ago. Sherry noticed it a week ago has been upset for a week and she's angry it most people here they're all attacking them and I came down to it started to Earnest yesterday she is really baloney and mad and told Stan I want them to Gone and said I mean it and he was saying we are trying to do that and she says I mean right here start getting rid of them here and then she meant all of them and stopped at him no he said you know who I mean and she was saying she says the retards he said we'll see what we can do and spend a lot of people trying to do things too for a long time he had groups of people and with the others out here too and I didn't do much they pull them out and it takes them off and there's more to come in it just keeps going. You really have to do it now not even out of revenues it's maintenance it's not getting done. There's a lot of them here some people looking at that and are horrified and it's going to be a battle. Now there's some people that are rebels they don't want people screwing around with their son and they can't stand Lily or Trump or Jason or Dave next door and they're going after them to shut down there negative campaign and they're doing it now and there's a lot of people doing it. There's a lot of area that we're going to be taking today and it's a lot more than what we were it's gigantic my comparison we just kind of feeling in between where the bunkers were and these guys have the idea of going after them and shutting them down and what's going on now is those bunkers are not accessible and the empire is thinking about what to do and they're probably going to approach the pseudo empire for their stuff fairly soon the war wages on. They're trying to decide what to do at this point and they're watching what's happening what is happening is the pseudo empire they're fleet they are fleeing areas where they had bunkers and they are trying to go to other areas where they are because there's an action for the bunkers were and it's continuous one of the places they're going to and today is Florida and from the Midwest and a lot of them and they want revenge on these morons still lost family and friends and contingents and they are very mad about it is their support and foundation is Gone because these guys are greedy little assholes. There's a lot of them heading here and it will not stop and that's the group being attacked and some Max to or revenge on these idiots it's going to go off today and these people are going to hear about it and they're going to be overwhelmed

We're going to publish this is big news

Thor Freya

They have not commenced the attacks on the caverns as of yet however they are emptying the South the hemisphere and the southern tip of a thousand miles is that about 7% and three major are to attack the caverns and moving up to the Congo and or Amazon it's around 25% of the general populace both of those numbers are down from 50% and it will change in the next hour as things begin to eat up in the northern hemisphere again and fairly soon the bunkers will be out completely other southern hemisphere probably by daybreak and every time for them to attack The caverns.

Thor Freya

Olympus

Everything's happening here I want to announce in a moment

Hera

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alyosiuscreightonward · 1 year

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Dear Diary.

Yesterday, 23rd of April, was hard for me for various reasons.

My foster son was born in 1986. 37 years old and apparently he’s homeless and living in Lost Wages. Here’s where I wonder if he’ll ever run into the Ex-Boyfriend, Mr Haole Luvah. 🤣

I’m pretty sure that my foster son is going to blame me for him being homeless and not having the money for the storage unit where he kept his mothers ashes.

I have mixed emotions about this. He was eight years old when I got a boyfriend and moved to FLA. If I didn’t move to FLA, I wouldn’t have had the chance to be the boyfriend. In the meantime, I’d hear things about him and I wanted to run to him and make it all better. This where I failed him. Those were the formative years and in retrospect, I know what he felt in some instances. Am I the Qween of Failed Relationships and I need to fix them?

Bitch please. We’ve all have failed ourselves and so has the other person failed us. Love is a two way street and it’s also a two way mirror. Nah. Don’t even. Your opinion or explanation about your situation is a moot point. Yeah, you’ve been denied.

I know I went overboard with sharing my feelings with him. I was never really told that I was loved by my parents. I was never really held close to their hearts and cuddled or coddled by them and I wanted to break that chain. I wanted him to know that his feelings are valid but I wasn’t there for him when he needed me. Though as a Tauren man, he like other Tauren men in my life, affection is on their terms and is rarely called upon, but when they want it, be very careful it just may disintegrate in the blink of an eye.

I think that he wanted it to be understood that he knew that I love him and that I was never ever allowed to be able to say those words. That is verboten. Nein bitte sprich nicht. I should’ve known that I was not allowed to let him know how I felt. Those who are Taurus ♉️ may say that they love you but they don’t want to hear from you because it will cause a problem.

The very last time I saw him was when he was in jail and behind several inches of bulletproof glass a few weeks before my mother passed. I told him that his mother and his aunt said that I had SA’ed him. I sat there on the phone while he looked down upon me as I was having the ugly cry. In between my gasps for air, I told him that I had been raped and I could never ever put those feelings on anyone ever. At 63, I’m still haunted by what happened to me and I cannot imagine how much pain it would cause the other person.

I’m sure he was horrified to hear that. I’m sure at that moment he wanted me to vanish from his life.

He too is like my professional photographer who lives in LA, just because I’m a Faggot Piece of Trash, I just want to have him perform fellatio and to have him ingest my zygotes and then I will give him my turgid body and I will then deposit my zygotes into his colon. This is so cheap like a cardboard cutout of a rainbow that Judy Garland once spoke of in a movie. No. Absolutely not. Absolutely not and most certainly the actual furthest thing from the truth. Not even Stephen King could write that shit.

As I write this, I quite clearly remember that my sister’s boyfriend proportioned me. Yeah he has a nice dick, but I turned him down. I just couldn’t.

I’m puzzled by CIS/Hetero men thinking that every single one of us Faggot Pieces of Trash just wants to suck their dicks just because. It is just as absurd as the first Lesbian you meet is going to show up the next morning with a U-Haul and demanding you get a companion animal and when you do they break up with you because they’re allergic to said animal.

What are you smoking or are you microdosing??? YIKES!!

Regardless of the circumstances, he will continue to be my foster son. I am well aware that I will never be of any consequence to him and he will continue to wish that I was never in his life.

The other item to talk about is that after five years, I left my job in the world of retail. It feels great. I’m going to miss seeing several people who are in my eyes, delicious.

I’m not sure if they’re ever going to get someone to do what I did but that’s neither here nor there.

I’m going to start a new job soon and I’m sure I’ll be better off. I’m just looking forward to buying a pair of Hoka Bondi’s and a pair of Hoka Trail Code’s. They’re pricey but worth it and I’ll wait.

Anyway, ciao for now.

#dear diary #i wrote this for me #lgbtq #bipolar depression #inside my mind #my words #my writing #no your not the only one #pity party #ramblings #reality stranger than fiction #self love #vomiting #wnq writers #writers on tumblr #journal #self help #self loathing

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themackenzieboydchronicles · 1 year

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Moira Makes a Decision and Mackenzie is Devastated.

Mackron Fanfic.

"What's all this Moira?" Mack asked as he came down stairs to see Moira packing a suitcase.

"I'm taking Isaac to Belfast with me" Moira answered.

"What? For a holiday?" asked Mack pouring himself a cup of tea.

"For the foreseeable future" Moira answered "Isaac and Kyle should be together"

"Moira you can't do this if you go it means I have no family here" said Mack. "Just think about this"

"I've thought of nothing else and it's for the best" said Moira. "I can't deal with all the lies and pretense so I'm leaving"

"What's going on mum?" asked Matty who'd just got up and heard raised voices.

"She's leaving" said Mack.

"What?" said Matty. You can't just up and go Mum what about the farm?" Matty asked "Just think about this"

"It's no good Matty. She won't listen" said Mack.

"Right we're off" said Moira giving Mack and Matty a kiss.

"I can't believe she's just walked out on us" said Matty.

"And what do we say to Cain and everyone else?" asked Mackenzie.

"Well I'm not telling Cain" said Matty.

"So I expect you want me to tell him" said Mack. "He's going to be pleased isn't he? Not"

Mack made his way to see Kerry hoping that she could shed some light on what was going on.

"Thanks for that meal yesterday" said Kerry "It was fab"

"Turns out it was the last supper" said Mack.

"What do you mean? asked Kerry.

"Kerry, Moira has just left with Isaac for Belfast to be with Kyle" Mack explained.

"That's where Amy is then?" Kerry said. "That's where she was heading last time when she took off with Kyle when Cain refused her access to Kyle years ago"

"What we going to do. I'm devastated ?" said Mack "We've just lost our families"

"Well if it wasn't for Chloe changing her mind about leaving as well I'd be all alone without my family. I'm so sorry Mack" said Kerry.

"I'd better go and tell Aaron" said Mack getting up to leave.

Mack made his way to the pub. "What's up with you Mack?" asked Bear "You've got a face like a wet weekend"

"Seen Aaron Bear?" Mack asked.

"Here he is now" said Bear as Aaron walked in.

"What's up" said Aaron seeing Mack was upset.

"It's Moira. She's left for Ireland with Isaac. She's joining Amy and Kyle" Mack explained.

"What for a holiday?" Aaron asked.

"For good as far as I know" Mack replied.

"Great" said Aaron giving a loud sigh. "Just when you think things couldn't get worse" said Aaron. "Who's going to keep the farm going?"

"Me and Nate" Mack replied.

"You're going to work yourself into the ground" said Aaron "Running the farm in the day and the bar at night. You'll kill yourself"

"I can help you there" said Bear "I could do a few shifts in your bar if it will help"

"It would be much appreciated" said Mack. "It will only be minimum wage but as much drink as you want and free food"

"Thats fine by me" said Bear "It will get me from under Chas's feet. Hardly ever cracks a smile these days"

"Just see Belle. She'll sort you out" said Mack.

"Jumping ship Bear" said Charity who had been listening to the conversation. "Big Mack strikes again"

"Leave it out Charity" said Aaron "Macks stressed enough without you having a go"

"The thing I'm dreading Aaron is telling Cain" said Mack.

"Why can't Matty do that?" asked Aaron.

"Well he's not exactly Cains best buddy" answered Mack. "But there again neither am I"

"Rather you than me" said Aaron "Let's go home and I'll run you a bath to help you relax"

"Do you two have to bring sex into everything" joked Charity.

"Just because you're not getting any Charity doesn't mean we are always at it" said Aaron. "Jealous?"

"Go away with you both" laughed Charity "Only teasing"

"Aaron I just dont get it" said Mack as Aaron ran his bath. "The whole world is going crazy"

"Come here Mack" said Aaron "Don't get upset Lucy will be back soon"

"She's just texted she was visiting Kim and she's going to stay the night" said Mack "Her and Dawn have become chummy and she was giving her some legal advice regarding the kids"

"That means weve got the place to ourselves" said Aaron. "So I can spoil you then?"

"Exactly what I need right now Aaron, besides a miracle" said Mack.

"I'll give you a hand at the farm whenever I can" said Aaron. "We've got this. You'll see"

"God I hope you're right" said Mack climbing into the bath.

"I put some of those relaxing bath salts that you got off Bernice in" said Aaron.

"Why don't you join me?" asked Mack with a big grin on his face. "Don't want to waste a minute with you"

"Thought you'd never ask" Aaron laughed yanking the yellow duck off Mack that he'd been playing with. " You'll wear me out at this rate"

14.11.22.

#mackenzie boyd #aaron dingle #matty barton #bear wolf #charity dingle

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pinkcadillaccas · 3 years

Text

My brain is made of soft cheese, I put my mask in my pocket, I felt it there before I left for the bus, I arrived at the stop and it was not there I don't know how but I'm putting in a complaint with the universe this is getting ridiculous now

#i lost my wages from yesterday as well #feeling like im going to cry because nothing is where its supposed to be #al is talking

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truthseeker-blogger · 7 months

Text

*** UPDATE***

I feel I owe an update after Matt's last appointment with the surgeon and the attorney said he was putting in a demand for compensation.

There must have been a miscommunication because Matt spoke to the attorney yesterday.

They are still waiting on the USPS for Matt's back wages as well as medical records.

Definitely stressful and frustrating.

As most of you are aware, Matt needed a cortisone shot on the shoulder he didn't have surgery on.

It has helped but repetitious work aggravates his non surgery shoulder even after taking time off work.

His last two week paycheck matched my 10 hour weekly paycheck due to his lost time from work and deductions.

The last day Matt worked was this past Wednesday.

Going to church today as I have been going, to pray for His Will to be done.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers

🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤

Mary and Matt

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queenshelby · 3 years

Text

My Friend’s Father (Part Seven)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Smut

Words: 4,498

Notes:

I have decided to make this into a series.

Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.

*********

Throughout the entire night, you couldn’t help but think about Cillian. You dreamed about the kiss you shared, the touch of his hands on your face and even the scent of his skin.

You knew you shouldn’t think this way about your best friend’s father but it was something you couldn’t control even though you were angry with him.

But there was one person you who you were even more angry with and this was Connor, the man you were actually dating.

You got up early that morning to confront Connor about his behaviour at the art gallery opening and the truth was that you were pretty much done with him. You never had feelings for him in the first place and the truth was that he had simply become a distraction for you. You wanted to distract yourself from having taken a liking in your best friend’s father which, in itself, you knew was wrong.

Connor embarrassed you in front of your friends and Cillian was right when he said that he was acting controlling, even though you didn’t want to hear it, especially not from him.

You knew you had to end it and you knew that it wasn’t going to be a difficult task for you. You had always been a strong woman and you didn’t want to be with someone like that and, just when you arrived at Connor’s house you took a deep breath and did what had to be done.

‘It’s your loss Y/N’ were his words when you eventually left his house after a ten minute conversation but you didn’t feel like you had lost anything. In fact, you’ve gained something and that was experience in standing up for yourself.

***

Just after you encounter with Connor that morning, you went to have breakfast with Denise and her friends at the G Hotel in Galway.

They were all staying at the five-star hotel, courtesy of Denise’s father who had organised the weekend for Denise for her birthday and as a reward for her achievements after she had worked so hard on her project.

‘Happy Birthday’ you said as you greeted her and the others and Denise immediately told you off for being too loud as her head was pounding. It was obvious to you that she was rather hungover from the night the before.

‘You had too much champaign, huh?’ you giggled before handing her the present you had bought for her.

You usually didn’t spend much money on each other for birthdays but, since she was your best friend, you had spent a few hours’ worth in wages and gotten her something meaningful.

She was collecting vintage tea-cups and you had recently found a beautiful Royal Dalton set in a second-hand shop which you knew she would adore.

‘This is absolutely beautiful, thank you so much’ Denise said as she unwrapped it before hugging you gently.

‘You are welcome. I knew you would like it’ you said with a warm smile and, just as you did and sat down next to her, your mobile phone went off.

You received a text message from a number that was unfamiliar to you and when you opened it, you were none the wiser.

‘It was good to see you’ the message said and you were rather confused by it. You had some job interviews recently and wondered whether this was sent by one of the interviewers. Or perhaps someone from university, you wondered?

‘What is it?” Denise asked as she saw the look of confusion on your face when you glanced at your phone.

‘Someone just send me a message saying that it was good to see me’ you chuckled before explaining to her that you didn’t know the number.

‘Maybe it is this guy from university you were talking about a few weeks back? You know, the lecturer in the science department?’ Denise wondered before suggesting to you that you should text back and ask for a name, but you already knew it wouldn’t be him. There was no way he would have your number and you certainly were no longer interested in getting to know him after you had found out that he was married.

You texted back to the unknown number, enquiring who this was and, within a couple of seconds, your phone went off again and you almost choked on your coffee.

‘Cillian’ the message read and you quickly changed the angle of your phone so that Denise wouldn’t see it.

‘And? Who is it?’ she asked while trying to look at your phone.

‘Uhm…just a guy I met a few weeks ago…I ran into him again yesterday morning and I totally forgot about it…’ you stammered quickly but Denise didn’t buy a word you were saying.

‘You forgot?’ she giggled, winking at you as she did and your cheeks blushed almost instantly. ‘Well, he obviously didn’t and you must have given him your number for a reason. Is he hot? What’s he like? I need to know everything…’ she went on to say as, suddenly, without you haven’t sent anything back to Cillian, you received yet another text message from him.

‘For what its’s worth, you looked beautiful’ the next text read and you couldn’t help but smile as you continued to sip on your cup of coffee and Denise most certainly noticed the look on your face and asked you what he said.

‘Just that I looked nice’ you stammered, feeling awful about lying to her about who texted you but there was no way that you could have told her that it was, in fact, her father who you were texting with.

‘Uh, he likes you’ Denise then giggled before carrying on. ‘Well, since you ditched Connor now, you should go and meet up with him and have some fun. After Connor’s one-off ten-minute performance, I have no doubt that you really need it’ Denise said and, just as she did, the conversation across the breakfast table took a turn. Like so often, it now was all about sex and you realised that dissatisfaction was a common occurrence in women your age.

‘I believe that the whole talk about the female g-spot is load of rubbish. It’s a myth’ Amalie observed eventually after everyone across the table complained about the lovers that they had.

It was at this point that you mentally checked out from the conversation and, whilst you thought about the one pleasurable experience you had in your life when it came to sex, you certainly didn’t want to talk about it in front of Denise. Especially not Denise.

Instead of engaging in talks about vibrators and the male anatomy, you decided to respond to Cillian’s text messages after you had received yet another one, telling you that he was sorry. Clearly, he was desperate to hear from you.

‘I see, you kept my note?’ you responded quickly, ignoring his compliments and apologies, and, just moments after you sent it, you received a response from him.

‘Kept it in my wallet. Can we meet?’ Cillian asked and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes just before you received yet another message from him which read ‘BTW this is not a booty call. I just want to talk with you. Please.’

His message made you laugh but you agreed to meet him nonetheless.

‘I have an apartment at the Docks. Can you come there?’ Cillian asked in his next text message.

‘Alright. How does 4 o’clock sound? Text me your address’ you texted back and it wasn’t long until Cillian sent you the address of his apartment.

‘And?’ Denise asked as she watched you text with the mysterious stranger and you simply blushed again and responded with a short and somewhat embarrassed ‘nothing’.

‘Oh common, tell me Y/N. I am your best friend’ she then said and you confirmed that you would quickly meet up with him this afternoon before Denise’s birthday dinner.

‘Oh la la, you are having a date’ Denise then said somewhat excitedly.

‘We are just catching up to talk Denise. It’s not a date’ you then said.

‘Sure…whatever you say Y/N’ she then said sarcastically which is when, finally, she backed off and you received yet another text message from Cillian.

‘Looking forward to see you, xx’ it read and your heart skipped a beat pretty much then and there.

***

After you went home to have a shower and get changed into some nice jeans and a black shirt as well as some nice lingerie (just in case) you made your way to Cillian’s apartment.

You parked around the corner and walked the rest of the way just to be sure that no one would see your car being parked there.

‘Jesus’ you said somewhat surprised when you walked into the lobby of the apartment building and took the elevator to the top floor after Cillian had buzzed you inside. You had never been to a building like this. It was luxurious and right on the harbour.

When you arrived on the top floor, Cillian already waited for you, glancing through the door of his apartment.

‘Wow, these are some good views. Do you own this place?’ you observed as you stepped inside and set your purse on the desk by the door.

‘Yeah, bought it a few years ago’ Cillian said as you began to shrug off your jacket, but Cillian came up from behind you, and caught your hands. You looked down at your hands, noticing that yours dwarfed in his. They were warm and soft.

‘Let me take this for you’ he said like a gentleman and you were somewhat surprised by his gesture. This was not something you were used to but you liked it, a lot.

‘You know, I didn’t expect that you would text me, especially not after last night. So, what is it that you want to talk about?’ you asked nervously and, just as you did, Cillian cut straight to the chase.

‘I wanted to tell you, in person, that I am sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have lectured you about this guy who you are seeing and the truth is that, yes, I was jealous and I know that I had no right to be jealous and for that I am also sorry. I should have acted differently, especially knowing that you are my daughter’s best friend’ he admitted just before you cut him off.

‘Well, for what its worth, I ended it with Connor this morning because I think you were right about him’ you said with a nervous smile, causing Cillian to cock an eyebrow.

‘I can’t say that I am not happy about that’ he said jokingly before continuing on. ‘But, regardless of this, I think that we need to talk about how we move forward from what happened between us for Denise’s sake’ he then said, causing you to nod.

‘Yeah’ you then said somewhat disappointed before building up your strength in order to say something else. ‘The thing is, Cillian, I know what I want. I just think that you don’t’ you said, cheeks blushing.

‘And what is that you want Y/N?’ Cillian asked curiously as if he didn’t already know the answer to his question.

‘You’ you then admitted and, just as you did, Cillian’s hands caressed your face and he pulled you close and kissed you yet again.

The kiss was slow and passionate and, unlike the night before, you allowed yourself to give into it until, eventually, your lips drifted apart.

‘Are you sure Y/N? Because, I am much older than you and you probably have better offers with more assurances that I simply cannot offer you’ Cillian then asked as he was standing directly in front of you and held you against his body.

‘The fact that you are older actually turns me on’ you admitted before pressing your lips onto his again and then pulling away. You adored his wrinkles and greying hair and you were surprised that he had no idea how attractive he actually was.

‘But what is it that you want Cillian?’ you then asked as you felt his firm chest against you while his warm breath fanned against your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

‘Honestly, I don’t know Y/N. I have never been so fucking confused in my life’ he explained reluctantly, not knowing where to place the feelings he had built for you. You were over twenty years younger than him and his daughter’s friend and this clearly bothered him. He knew that this wasn’t something he could easily overcome.

‘Well, I am confused too but I like you, a lot’ you admitted, also unsure about what this was that you were feeling for him but, what you knew was that you wanted to give whatever this was a chance. You were curious and you were filled with desire for this man standing there right in front of you.

‘And I need to know that you feel the same and that this isn’t going to be just another mistake you are making because, if you are going to walk away after we have sex, then I am not up for it’ you then explained, wanting to ensure that he wouldn’t pull away from you this time.

‘No more mistakes Y/N. I like you and I want this’ Cillian whispered as he pressed his lips firmly right under your ear, slowly kissing down your neck.

‘I want you’ he then said as his breath tickled your skin and the firmness of his kiss made your stomach flip.

‘Then that’s good enough for me’ you huffed out in a laboured breath and just, as you did, Cillian used his hands to spin you around, causing you to face away from him.

Then, his hands dropped to your waist where his fingers gently edged themselves under the hem of your shirt, barely touching your skin. His lips moved, and he left a trail of kisses down your shoulder and towards your arm.

‘I knew this was a booty call’ you teased as you couldn't help but move against him.

‘Do you want to stop?’ he asked as your hips rocked and shifted while he gently brushed his fingers against your skin.

‘Hell no’ you giggled before you lifted your arms and he began to pull your shirt up.

You felt like you were performing some secret dance that we both knew, but that you'd never realised you'd known.

Cillian lifted your shirt inch at a time up off you, and let it fall to the floor. He sighed in satisfaction as he looked down at your breasts.

‘Why are you so fucking perfect?’ Cillian asked and you opened your mouth to answer but it came out as a sigh as his hands tightened around your waist.

‘Let’s take this off’ Cillian said determined as one of his hands inched up towards your breast, and he squeezed it gently. Then, his hands came away from you, and unsnapped your bra.

You practically shook it off of you, and then dropped your hands to your jeans. You needed his hands back on you again as soon as possible and turned to watch him as you kicked your shoes off and shoved down your jeans, your underwear coming with them.

‘Eager, are we?’ Cillian chuckled as he quickly began to undress himself as well after you had given him a look full of hunger and anticipation.

‘We are short of time’ you said as you were momentarily distracted by the sight of him unbuttoning his shirt, but you hurried to kick off the fabric wrapped around your ankles.

‘We’ve got at least two and a half hours Y/N’ Cillian then said as you finally stood there in front of him completely naked.

‘Exactly’ you chuckled as Cillian was still fighting with the buttons on his shirt, and you grabbed the fabric of it and pulled him against you, crushing your mouth against his.

Cillian made love to your mouth with his lips and his tongue. He was firm, slow, and demanding.

You breathed together, tasted together. He dragged a soft moan from your mouth with a caress of his lips. He explored you, letting his tongue run along the roof of your mouth. Your teeth crashed. He sucked your tongue into his mouth, and your stomach clenched and you let out an embarrassingly desperate sound.

Before your first night with Cillian, you'd never been kissed like this. The kisses you shared were more intimate and more sensual than anything you'd ever experienced in your life.

As you were kissing, you finally managed to unbutton his shirt and shoved it open. Your hands ran up and down his chest, exploring his toned body all the while he was relentless in his kiss. His arms wrapped around you, one hand pressing into the small of your back, and the other working his fingers into your hair.

With a small tug of your hair, he pulled your face away from him.

‘I could kiss you all day Y/N, but you said that we are short of time so you better get onto the bed’ he winked and you snaked your arms around his neck and kissed him while he walked you back into his bedroom and towards the bed.

As you were moving towards the bed, he fought with his belt and his pants all while his lips never left yours.

You shuffled awkwardly backwards until the backs of your knees hit the bed, forcing you to sit down. You kept your arms behind you to prop yourself up, smiling as you watched him finish undressing. He was just gorgeous and so goddamn perfect.

‘You are so sexy, you know that?’ you said full of desire while you watched as he pushed his pants down, kicking them off his ankles and standing in front of you completely naked, and... Sweet. Baby. Jesus…your mouth watered at the sight of his hard cock.

‘So are you’ he winked and, just as he did, you met his eyes again after having stared at his cock for a little while. That terrifying intense stare was back, and he looked like he was going to eat you alive. For all you knew, he would.

Without breaking eye contact, Cillian bent down and went to his knees at the foot of the bed, grabbed your legs, and pulled you closer to him, spreading your legs wide as he did so.

‘Lay back’ he ordered and you couldn’t help but bite your lip in anticipation.

‘What are you going to do to me?’ you asked as he was still staring at you. A slow smile graced his face.

‘I am going to make love to you with my tongue until you cum’ Cillian smirked and the idea of his face between your legs made your breath catch.

‘Oh, Sweet Jesus’ you moaned as he let go of one of your legs and put a hand on your shoulder. He pushed you back and then he lowered his lips to you.

Sweet bliss washed over you in an instant. You gasped, and moaned, and shivered. Cillian lapped at you like you were the sweetest treasure he'd ever put in his mouth. A slow, deep rumble from his chest travelled straight into your body through his lips, shaking you to your core. His tongue dove inside you, exploring you. He sucked on the lips of your sex, and the circled his tongue around your clit, sending powerful shocks of pleasure straight to your centre.

He was building you up to something big. Something beautiful.

He eased off right before you exploded, and you cried out.

‘Cillian, don't stop, please’ you moaned and, just as you began to plead with him, his fingers began to gently run through your wet slit.

‘Don’t worry, I won’t’ he said as he slowly pushed two of his fingers inside you before his tongue resumed its work on your clit.

Curling his fingers slightly upwards, he reached an unfamiliar spot deep inside you and, as soon as he reached this spot, you cried out in pleasure.

‘Oh god, fuck, Cillian’ you moaned as his fingers began to gently thrust in and out of you while he made love to you with his tongue.

With his skilled tongue and fingers working you, it didn’t take you long to reach an orgasm. Your legs began to shake almost violently as a wave of pleasure erupted through your body and your walls tightened around Cillian’s fingers.

When you finally came down from your high, Cillian stood up, pushed his hands against your hips, and slid you farther onto the bed.

‘You sound so fucking sexy when you cum like this, without having to hold back’ Cillian observed as he climbed onto the bed. He crawled towards you like a wolf stalking his prey.

‘I want you inside me, please…I am aching for your cock’ you moaned, spurring him on and, without losing any time he spread your legs wide and pressed the head against your slit, gently working the tip in and out, teasing you.

‘Oh god, please, stop teasing’ you whimpered, trying to wiggle against him. You wanted to feel all of him so badly.

‘Be patient, we will get there’ he whispered, and leaned forward so his arms were on either side of your face.

You felt him push a little deeper into you.

‘Oh god yes’ you gasped and winced and Cillian tilted his head and took your mouth with his, kissing you slowly as he rocked in and out. His lips and his tongue matched the pace of his thrusts, and you felt overwhelmed with desire as he slid deeper and deeper inside of you.

‘Fuck you feel so good Y/N’ Cillian groaned as he stretched you and pushed you until he was all the way in, and he pulled his mouth away from yours just long enough to let out a string of curses before he took your mouth again.

You couldn't breathe. Everything about him was amazing. The way he felt inside you was just perfect.

He held your head firmly in place as he kissed you, thrusting into you and grinding his hips so that he hit every single spot you didn't even know you had. Right as you were nearing your climax, he pulled all the way out and pushed himself off of you, pausing to catch his breath.

‘No…don’t stop…I was so close’ you whimpered.

‘Don’t worry, I am not done with you yet but I do enjoy teasing you’ he gasped and you could tell that he enjoyed edging you which is something no other man you have been with had ever done to you before. Unlike them, Cillian had amazing self-control which you thought might come with age.

Almost an hour later, after he edged you numerous times and made you change positions on several occasions, you ended up with Cillian on top of you once again. He slid back inside you, resuming his relentless pace. With every thrust, he ground his pelvis against your clit, and with only a few careful movements of his hips, you exploded in pleasure around him. There was no way you could have held back any longer as waves of heat and ice crashed onto you, and you fought to breathe through the intensity of your orgasm.

‘Fuck Y/N’ Cillian groaned shortly thereafter, feeling your walls contract around his shaft. He collapsed forward onto you, and you could feel him pulsing inside you and filling you with rope after rope of his warm cum.

You loved the feeling of him cuming inside you and his breath was hot against your neck, and he kissed your neck and your mouth again as he pulled back and out of you, giving you a chance to breathe.

***

‘Cillian’ you whispered, barely able to speak even after five minutes had passed since you came down from your high.

‘Yes Beautiful?’ he said, and moved slightly so he could wrap his lips around your nipple. He sucked and tongued at it, and pulled at it with his teeth.

‘Careful’ you laughed, and shifted under him slightly. ‘I’m super sensitive now’ you said.

‘I certainly hope so’ he murmured. ‘Although, I am not done with you yet. We still have an hour before dinner’ he smirked and your eyes widened immediately.

‘Oh really?’ you asked surprised and, when you looked down on him, you noticed that his cock was already hardening again just after a short five minutes of relaxation.

‘Really’ Cillian then chuckled as he rolled you onto your stomach, spreading your legs and crouching behind you.

Without losing any time, he lined himself up with your entrance and pushed back inside of you, eliciting a loud groan.

After doing you from behind for what felt like forever, he'd hauled you up into his lap and made love to you with his arms around you and our foreheads pressed together. You'd watched his eyes widen and roll back in his head as he came inside you again just after you reached your own high as well.

He then kissed you as he slowly pulled out of you, and then carried you in his arms like a bride into the bathroom where he'd showered you, washed your hair and your body, and treated you to another mind-blowing orgasm with his fingers.

‘I am fucking sore Cillian’ you huffed out as you were standing in front of the mirror and retouched your make up with a white towel wrapped around your body. You had only limited supplies with you in your handbag but were somewhat lucky that Denise had kept a few items in one of the bathrooms in the three-bedroom apartment.

‘I am sorry’ he then said as he stepped behind you and applied some more aftershave before kissing your neck.

‘Are you?’ you asked, looking back at him before pressing a gentle kiss on his lips.

‘Not really’ he then smirked before buttoning up his shirt.

You knew that you couldn’t arrive at the dinner together and, after you got ready, you decided to walk to the restaurant first so that Cillian would allow you a ten-minute head start.

But walking was difficult in itself and Cillian had a slight chuckle when he watched you waddle out of his apartment.

Your core was stinging but it was defiantly worth it.

Tag List:

@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15 @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r @tellingyouastory @captivatedbycillianmurphy @namelesslosers @littlewhiterose @ttzamara @ttzamara @cilleveryone

@peaky-cillian

@severewobblerlightdragon @ysmmsy

#cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x y/n

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findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years

Text

DSMP Anniversary Recap: THE DISC WAR

Chaos breaks out across the server after Sapnap burns Ponk’s Lemon Tree…

The server’s first all-out civil war.

---

VOD LINKS:

Tubbo

Purpled

Ponk [unavailable]

Tommyinnit

Punz [unavailable]

Sapnap

---

Late the previous night, Sapnap came online and set Ponk’s Lemon Tree on fire.

The day starts when Tubbo logs onto the server.

---

- The previous stream, Tubbo lost all his belongings. Chat tells him to check Ponk’s tree and Tubbo runs over

- As he approaches the second Lemon Tree, he sees that it’s on fire. Tubbo quickly towers up to try and put it out. He thinks that it’s his fault and worries that he’ll get blamed for this, as he’s the only one on the server at the moment

- Tubbo tries his best, but by the time the fire is out, the tree is in ruins. He learns that Sapnap is responsible. Tubbo goes back to his house to get wood to patch the tree up. He rebuilds the broken section of the tree

- While he’s out gathering logs, he notices a little chick following him

Tubbo: “Oh my god, I’m gonna name you Benson! You look like a Benson.”

- He throws a couple eggs at the chick to try and get it to walk after him and one of the eggs hatches into a second chick. Now there are two Bensons

- Tubbo does his best to continue fixing the tree. Ponk logs on. Tubbo tells him he is sorry about the tree. Ponk logs off. Some time later, while Tubbo is mining, Ponk logs back on

Ponk: someone is gonna pay for this

- Tubbo tells him he tried his best. Ponk tells him to save it for court. He says he’s gathering evidence, then logs back off again

- Afterwards, Tubbo goes back to the forest with some leads to retrieve the Bensons. He picks one of the Bensons to gift to Punz and brings the other one back to his house

- Tubbo works on building and Purpled logs on. Purpled wanders around the SMP, trying to find his way around the server. He goes up the path to Tommy’s house and wonders where to set up his own house

- Ponk logs on again, and this time Alyssa does as well

- Purpled runs into Alyssa by her house while riding a llama. He joins VC with Tubbo, who fills him in about Sapnap stealing Tommy’s Netherite and setting Ponk’s tree on fire

- Alyssa tells Tubbo he owes her a diamond. Tubbo goes to her house to talk. Meanwhile, Sapnap logs on with murder on his mind. Tommy left signs at Alyssa’s house framing Tubbo for taking a diamond. Tubbo proves it wasn’t him by getting his first diamond achievement

- Ponk is scared to find that Sapnap has OP gear and asks Alyssa to lend him her horse. Sapnap says he will kill her. As Sapnap chases Ponk, armored with Tommy’s Netherite and diamond armor, Ponk asks Tubbo to help him

- Sapnap asks Ponk to apologize, but Ponk doesn’t want to after Sapnap burned his tree. Ponk borrows Alyssa’s horse. Alyssa protests because Sapnap might kill it, but Ponk says Sapnap wouldn’t

- Sapnap comes over and tells them that this is his and Alyssa’s house. He tells Ponk to defend his tree and runs back down the path

- Sapnap kills Alyssa’s horse and then Ponk. Tubbo wonders if this is a common occurrence. Sapnap says he won’t burn down the house, but that Ponk challenged him

- Tommy joins VC as they reach the tree. Sapnap tells Tubbo to choose wisely

Sapnap: you have all brought fighting to a once peaceful land

Sapnap: I am the law.

- Tommy says he’ll get on later. Ponk and Tubbo both need his assistance. Tubbo wonders if he and Ponk can make their own court to take Sapnap to trial

Ponk: “Right, look. We have to do a reverse of the revolution in America, right? We need to -- the English must take over the server again, okay? And make it British.”

- Sapnap whispers to Tubbo that Tubbo must be on his side. Tubbo, Ponk and Alyssa find Sapnap’s house. Sapnap kicks them out

- Alyssa asks where her horse went. Sapnap tells her Ponk led it to its death. Sapnap has Ponk’s pickaxe and tells him to say sorry to stop the fighting. Ponk says sorry

- Alyssa sets Sapnap’s house on fire

Tubbo: “Oh my god, is nothing sacred on this server?!”

- Sapnap tells her to say goodbye to her house and he kills Ponk. Tubbo frantically tries to put out Sapnap’s house

Sapnap: an eye for an eye

Sapnap: I am a fair man

- The only way Sapnap won’t destroy Alyssa’s house is if Tubbo builds him a new one. Tubbo tells them off for burning each other’s things. He doesn’t want his own house burnt down

Tubbo: “If I’m on everyone’s good side, then hopefully they won’t break my crap.”

- He rebuilds Sapnap’s house

- Sapnap says he only killed in self-defense after he was attacked. Alyssa drowns. Punz logs on, confused at what’s going on. He decides to pick “the side of justice”

- Sapnap pays Tubbo for fixing his house, thankful. Tubbo leaves and finds Alyssa at his house. Tubbo tells them the house is his

- Ponk and Sapnap come to Tubbo’s house and Sapnap murders Benson. Alyssa gives Tubbo a poppy for his loss. Sapnap and Tubbo declare every chicken Benson. Then Sapnap kills another as Punz comes over

- Sapnap logs off and Ponk eggs the top of Tubbo’s house

Ponk: “That’s for picking sides, Tubbo.”

Tubbo: “I didn’t pick sides!”

Ponk: “For not picking a side at all. Exactly.”

- Punz joins the call and Tubbo says they can be the side of justice together. A fight breaks out between Punz and Ponk. Tubbo and Alyssa join in and Sapnap logs back on

Sapnap: ARE YOU THREATENING MY PUNZ

- Sapnap kills Ponk again. Purpled now has a pet dog with a purple collar named “DogChamp”

- Tubbo plays the ukelele. Sapnap asks him to sing a song, and Tubbo sings “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” while Sapnap dances along

- Fundy logs on and Sapnap leaves. Things are calm again

- Tommy logs on to find that his house has been damaged and is enraged. Punz whispers to him that he saved it from fire. Tommy’s chestplate is gone and he demands to know who did it

- Sapnap logs on and whispers to Tommy that he is only borrowing the Netherite, and “do not fear my friend.” He joins the call and says that he will return Tommy’s things under one condition: Tommy must join his cause

- Tommy walks down the path looking for Sapnap and kills Alyssa along the way. Sapnap speaks with Tommy at the Courthouse

Sapnap: "The civil war is about to break out.”

- Tommy orders Sapnap to give him back the chestplate, as Wilbur helped him with it. Sapnap gives him the chestplate

Sapnap: “Look...We can be the most powerful on the realm, alright? I need you to be on my side, have my back no matter what.”

- Sapnap tells Tommy that his house was vandalized, so he vandalized the vandal’s house back

Tommy: “Who was it?”

Sapnap: “Your arch-nemesis.”

Tommy: “Ponk!”

Sapnap: “Your arch-nemesis, yes.”

- Sapnap explains what happened today, and how his house was burned down. When Tommy learns about Alyssa’s involvement, he decides it’s time for revenge and starts making his way back down the path

- As they walk to Tommy’s place, Sapnap tells Tommy about how he burned down the Lemon Tree

Tommy: “Sapnap, why would you do that?! That’s his prized possession. That’s like if you burnt my music discs!”

- Tommy asks Sapnap why he burnt down Tommy’s house and Sapnap says to just look past that. War is being waged, and he wants Tommy as his ally.

- Meanwhile, Punz tells Tubbo that there is danger approaching, and that Ponk and Tommy are about to duel. They call Ponk, but Ponk hasn’t heard about a duel

- Tommy sees Punz and Tubbo approach the front door and goes to speak with them. Tommy tells them he’s trying to work out who’s the good guy. Alyssa tells Tommy she heard Tommy stole one of her diamonds, and Tommy immediately goes back to Sapnap’s call

- Tubbo leaves them to go back to building his house, feeling like he’s been the good guy today, rebuilding everything. Everyone else is just burning down houses

- Tommy and Sapnap kick Punz out of the house. Sapnap hands Tommy a Swiftness potion, telling him to “run like the wind.” Tommy is confused

- Sapnap goes outside and sits on the bench

Sapnap: “I’m looking at the starlight, Tommy. Beside this bench...This once was a peaceful nation, Tommy.”

...

Sapnap: “Tommy, you’re free to do whatever you want. I will not attack you unless you join their side. If you join their side, then I’ll be forced to fight you in battle. But I think you know what you need to do. I think you know what team you need to choose, and I think you’ll choose wisely. But Tommy...I’m off into the night. Goodbye for now.”

- Sapnap leaps from the bench and runs off mysteriously into the wilderness

- Tommy is more confused now. He still has the Able Sisters Theme playing in the background. But he has a decision to make, and he weighs his options:

Either join Sapnap, whom he despises, join the woman, or join Punz. Yesterday, Tubbo set him on fire and he lost all his things, so he doesn’t want to join Tubbo. Fundy is a furry and Purpled plays Bedwars. Wilbur is busy streaming, but he did get whitelisted and could join the server if he wanted to

- Tommy calls Tubbo asking about his old username. Ponk and Alyssa come walking down the path to his house and Alyssa sets him on fire before they walk away. Infuriated, Tommy goes and tells Sapnap he’s chosen Sapnap’s side and that they need to show Alyssa who’s boss

Tommy: “I’ve chosen so wisely. Maybe not, but still. As long as no one touches my music discs, we’re in the clear.”

- Tommy walks outside and comes face to face with Ponk and Alyssa. They attack, and Tommy runs before getting killed by Alyssa. Sapnap goes to avenge him while Tommy demands his things back. Ponk says he chose the wrong side, and Sapnap kills Alyssa

- Ponk gives Tommy back the Netherite chestplate. Tommy meets back up with Sapnap and gets his items back. Ponk towers up and Tommy shoots at him with a crossbow and misses

Tommy: “I had one shot. Oh actually no, I have multiple shots. I am like Alexander Hamilton!”

- Dream logs on. Ponk and Alyssa both call for his help as Tommy keeps shooting. Ponk falls and dies

- Sapnap congratulates Tommy on his kill. Tommy is eager to kill more people while they’re at it, and Sapnap suggests they kill Dream. Tommy agrees

- Dream is on the path by Tommy’s house in iron armor. Tommy and Sapnap easily kill him

Sapnap: THIS IS OUR LAND

Sapnap: NOONE CAN TAKE US

Sapnap: WE OWN THIS REALM

Tubbo: can I have some?

Sapnap: YOU SHALL PAY US DIAMONDS

- Tommy is disappointed that he didn’t get the killing blow and goes to kill Dream again. Dream is waiting there on the path and he asks for his items back. Tommy starts chasing him down

- Tommy thanks Wilbur for raiding him with 5,000 viewers!

- They chase after Dream. Tommy kills Alyssa and says that if Wilbur ever joins, he and Sapnap can take him under their wing and teach him PvP. They also decide to take Tubbo in as well as the builder of their new kingdom

- Ponk, Punz and Dream come running down the path. Sapnap kills Dream and Ponk. Punz attacks Tubbo and Tubbo is angry. Tommy kills Punz. The one remaining is Alyssa

- Tommy adds Tubbo to the VC. He decides to join them. Tommy spots and chases Dream down again until Dream logs out outside Tubbo’s house

Tommy: “Sapnap, it looks as though we’ve won.”

Tubbo: “I don’t think anyone’s won. You’ve burnt down most of the stuff on the server!”

Tommy: “Other -- don’t phrase it like that. Sapnap -- you know what? Hey, Tubbo, maybe you should --” (he kicks Tubbo from the call)

- Tubbo is not on their side. Dream logs back in and Tommy kills him

Dream: you have made an enemy

- Tommy declares himself now the killer of Technoblade, Timedeo and Dream. They join the general VC and start talking with Punz, Ponk and Alyssa when another message appears in chat:

Dream: I have the music discs

Dream: and I’m going to burn them

Dream: unless my stuff is returned

- Tommy freaks out and runs back to his house. Alyssa and Ponk ask for their stuff back. The discs are gone from the chest, and Punz kills Tommy. Dream arrives at Tommy’s house, now in iron armor, and kills Tommy too. Then Sapnap kills Dream. And Ponk

- Tommy asks Dream where the discs are. He speaks with Sapnap and they go to find Punz to get Tommy’s things. Tommy is angry with Sapnap for bringing him into the conflict, but they’re too far in to turn on each other

- Sapnap tells Tommy they may have to leave the main area for a while, as they’re outnumbered by their enemies. They reach the Community House, but Dream soon arrives and kills Tommy, who respawns and immediately kills Alyssa

- Tommy makes it back to the Community House. Sapnap tells him it’s time for them to blow up all the houses and burn them, but Tommy disagrees

Dream: okay

Dream: no more killing

- Sapnap immediately kills Alyssa and then gets killed by Tubbo

- They head to courthouse, Sapnap and Tommy now facing down Dream, Alyssa, Tubbo and Ponk. Sapnap whispers plans to Tommy about how to kill them. Sapnap shouts at Tommy to run, but it doesn’t work and both die

- Tommy and Dream shout at each other angrily in a call. Dream is furious at Sapnap and Tommy for jumping him out of nowhere while he was walking down the path. Sapnap tells him they thought he was on their enemy’s side

Dream: “You guys are acting like I’m an idiot, I was watching the stream! You guys both shouted ‘LET’S KILL DREAM! LET’S KILL DREAM!’ and you guys ran at me!”

Tommy: “Tommyinnit is not an idiot, I’m the furthest thing from an idiot, I’m--”

Sapnap: “Dream, you don’t understand the TYRANNY that’s going down on these lands! And you are not helping the tyranny!”

- Tommy tells Dream they should trade, offering to work for him. Dream requests an apology instead. Tommy turns around and walks away back to the Community House

- Sapnap threatens to burn it to the ground, but Dream in turn threatens to ban him for a week. Tommy tells Sapnap to calm down

Tommy: “Sapnap, you’re clearly in the wrong!”

Sapnap: “Let me explain this whole story -- I’m not in the wrong. We’re not in the wrong, Tommy. We’re not in the wrong.”

- Dream kills Sapnap and tells them his view of the story, which is that the two chased and killed him when he had no armor. Tommy starts talking. Surrounded by everyone staring at him, he feels like this is similar to another SMP he was on...

Tommy: “Hello Te -- Dream.”

- Tommy explains that Sapnap was in a conflict with someone else before, and tells Dream that he doesn’t think Sapnap is entirely right. Dream says he’ll give back Tommy’s things, but burn the discs for the crime. While Dream is distracted by Tommy, Sapnap runs away behind them

God joined the game.

Tubbo: em

God: Give me the discs.

- Tommy tells Dream he can put Dream’s name in his YouTube title instead

Dream: “All I know is you have committed a crime, and now -- even though I was not gonna choose a side, I was forced to choose the side of these people.”

- Sapnap dies to a Piglin in the Nether and Punz gets annoyed at Dream for calling him ‘these people,’ so Dream goes on to say that Punz saved him. They start arguing over who attacked who and Punz kills Sapnap

- Sapnap calls them vermin and says he’ll see Dream in MCC...They are on the same team. Sapnap and Tommy start bickering with each other

- Tommy starts leading the group back to his house. Dream kills Tommy for calling him “Techno”

- They continue arguing at the bench for a while and start negotiating a deal. Sapnap apologizes to Dream and Dream accepts it, and he gives Sapnap back his things. Tommy gets his chestplate and sword back. Tommy asks for his discs back but Dream refuses

- Dream says Tommy is not trustworthy enough to give the discs yet, but Tommy says he is often known as “Tommy Trusty.” Dream says he will give the discs back when Tommy has earned his trust

- In Tommy’s house, Dream puts an item frame with an enchanted book to remember the day. They leave Tommy with Tubbo and Tommy fills Tubbo in on what happened

- Dream says in that that he’s going to burn the discs when Tommy doesn’t tell the truth, so Tommy starts running back

-Tommy gets chased by three baby zombies. He leads his new army down the path. He tries to get them to attack Tubbo and, while Dream is shooting at the zombies, he kills Tommy

- Dream faces Sapnap at Tubbo’s house. Dream drops a piece of ham labelled “Maxx” and then Mellohi and Sapnap picks Mellohi up, running off

- While Tommy is walking back, Sapnap suddenly shouts that he has a disc and drops it to Tommy, who runs while Sapnap holds Dream off. Tommy reaches his house and goes down into the mines

- Tommy reaches a ravine and hides the disc with his screen blacked out. He turns it back on looking at a pile of granite just as Dream reaches him

- Tubbo picks up the piece of ham labelled “Maxx” and is confused

- Tommy meets up with Sapnap in the ravine while Dream searches for the disc. Dream kills both of them. Tommy comes back down to see Dream digging through the granite

- They keep the fight up for a while until Tommy sees Dream holding a disc in his hand in front of a fire. He tells Tommy to apologize

Tommy: I am sorry if you felt upset by my masculinity

- Dream drops down the disc in front of him and Tommy picks it up and runs until Dream kills him and Sapnap

- The two continue to watch as Dream mines around with thunder booming in the background

- Eventually, they speak with Dream, who is determined to find it. Tommy offers to tell him if Dream gives him the jukebox and the other disc. He whispers to Tubbo that he needs help, to come to the house and bring shields and axes

- Tommy calls Tubbo and Sapnap. With shields and axes and all of them attacking together, they might be able to take Dream. With the three of them no armed, the battle breaks out in the ravine

Tommy: “Why is there so much lightning?”

Tubbo: “It’s pathetic fallacy.”

- All three of them die, but Tommy grabs a bed as he goes back down and they set their spawns at the bottom before retrieving the axes. As they fight, Tommy asks Purpled if he wants to help them

Purpled: (whispering to Tommy) i am switzerland

- They notice gravel at the top of a chamber and break it to make it fall into a blockade with Dream at the top of it. They start getting hits on him and though Tommy dies, Tubbo gets the final hit, killing Dream

- In celebration, Tommy places down the jukebox in the ravine and the three of them listen to Cat together

- Sapnap says they should get out of there before Dream returns

Tubbo: “I feel like we’ve killed God. God is dead.”

Tommy: “God is dead!”

Tubbo: “And we killed him.”

- Tommy explains how he created the decoy with the granite for the real disc location

- They head back up but Sapnap says Dream is up there, but Tubbo kills him again. Once at the top, Tommy hides the discs again

- While going down to the ravine, Tommy gets shot from Sapnap from above, who says he’s been hired by Dream. Tommy asks him what he’s talking about until Dream comes to Tommy’s house and kills Sapnap and Tommy

- Sapnap says he was just joking. Tommy tells Tubbo to kill Sapnap and Tubbo does. Tommy and Tubbo start running to the roof of Tubbo’s house. Sapnap is angry

- Tommy Ender Pearls out of the attic, leaving Tubbo to be killed by Dream. Tommy runs into the Nether Portal only to discover it was portal-trapped by Tubbo. Sapnap kills Tommy in the trap

- They call Sapnap and he and Tommy argue some more

Sapnap: “I’ve been battling with you all day. You think I’d betray you?”

Tommy: “Uh, yes.”

- Tommy kills Sapnap

Tubbo: “Dude...why you gotta kill people? Why can’t you just be normal? Why? Why are you like this?”

- Tommy jumps at Tubbo, who immediately kills him. Sapnap asks what their next move is. Tommy says that they got this discs which is what they needed, since the discs are the only things that were irreplacable

- Tubbo says the discs are very replaceable and he was going to make a disc farm...

Tommy: “...AND YOU TOLD ME THIS NOW?!”

- They could’ve avoided a whole lot if Tubbo had said this earlier. As Tommy walks back to the Community House, Ponk comes over and hands Tommy the Sjiba sword

- He, Tubbo and Sapnap meet up in the Nether. Tommy says he won and got an extra music disc

Tubbo: “But I already explained to you how easy they are to get.”

Tommy: “Yeah yeah yeah but have you heard of sentimental value, dickhead?”

Tubbo: “You’re talking about a Minecraft item here. Get out.”

- Sapnap hits Tommy off the hub into the lava and he loses the Sjiba sword, which was George’s. Tubbo says they can always make another

Tommy: “You are a remorseless psychopath, alright? This is not -- You need to understand sentimental value.”

Tubbo: “I do understand sentimental value! And I think it’s a little bit shit.”

Tommy: “Hence my point.”

Tubbo: “Oh.”

- Tommy sees today as a win. Tubbo calls Sapnap “Snapmap”

Sapnap: “Tubbo, I don’t wanna have to kill you.”

Tubbo: “Try me bitch.”

- While he walks back, Tommy runs into Dream, who gives him the Netherite sword and a Netherite chestplate. Dream says he’ll look for the discs and then burn them

Tubbo suggests they make an Ender Chest for the discs:

A mission for the next day.

---

UPCOMING ANNIVERSARY DATES:

July 11: Disc War Finale

July 12: The war over Spins the bee, Wilbur joins the server

July 16: Schlatt joins the server and is banned

July 17: Skeppy joins the server

July 19: Eret joins the server

July 24: Tommy and Wilbur start a drug business

#dream smp #dream smp recaps #dream smp anniversary recaps #long posts #long post

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