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nouklea · 6 months

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Fic Tag Game!

I was tagged by @beri-allen, @writerrose1998, @cosmic-lullaby and @wileyonce. Thanks! <3

20 questions below the cut:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your AO3 word count?

136,228

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Wednesday for now. I used to write for StarWars (see question 12) but no traces remains from that era.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Woe of Wrath

I'm on my Way

Variations on a Main Theme - 1

A Second Chance for a First Impression

Five Minutes Earlier

5. Do you respond to comments?

As much as possible. Usually I respond to every comment, even if it's just to say a quick Thank You. The only fic on which I haven't done that is Woe of Wrath, if fell into limbo and I have a hard time focusing on it right now. And I feel kind of weird to answer comments after several months of silence, but the more I wait the weirder it gets...

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Doomed is a Dead Dove Do Not Eat fic. The entire text is dark, including the ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I will go with Double-Date With Dad. Farewell Xavier Thorpe ends on a really good note too (if you are not a fan of Xavier).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

It never happened. Fingers crossed.

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

I try. I find it difficult for two reasons. First, it's tough to avoid clichés. When you read smut, you end up noticing some general patterns, and I do my best to stay away from those. Second, I'm not a fan of some popular kinks, for instance I can't stand the expression "good girl", and therefore I'm not interested in writing it, even if I keep reading authors that use them. Some people probably think my smut fics are boring, too soft, too ordinary. But I don't care (yeah, I do, but shh).

10. Do you write cross-overs?

No. And I have a really hard time reading cross-overs too. And I hate cross-overs in tv shows. Complete respect to authors, however. It's just not my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I guess I could translate my own fics in French since it's my native language, but for now I don't see any reason to do so.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I did. It was a weird kind of toxic partnership. The other person was responsible for writing the general plot (because my ideas weren't good enough), and I had to turn every page he wrote into a three-pages long section, adding descriptions and filling the blanks. And correct the spelling and grammar, and add better vocabulary...

13. What WIP would you like to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hope I will finish every WIP I currently have, even if they tend to pile up (WIP bunnies...). My biggest challenge is to go back to Woe of Wrath. It is my first fic, it is a multi-chapter one, and I started to write it just to let the steam out after a twenty-years-long writing hiatus, so the outline was not super clear, there are many plot holes I try to fix, the sentences and vocabulary are bad... I know where I want to take the story and how it ends, but it's hard not to want to start over.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

For fanfics I'll say Weyler because it's the only thing I've ever written. Now besides that... For those who read Guy Gavriel Kay, I'm forever bound to the Diarmuid/Sharra ship, followed by Paul/Jaelle. Quite fond of the Clary/Jace ship in The Mortal Instruments (The books! Don't talk to me about the movie or the tv show!)

15. What are your writing strengths?

No damn idea. I've been asking myself the same question since I was thirteen.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably not being able to answer question 15. Imposter syndrome.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

In French it's not a problem, of course. I've done it in Impulsion. I have studied Latin for two years in highschool so I felt comfortable enough to translate a few sentences in Woe of Wrath. For other languages, I would only do so if I can find a beta reader fluent in this specific language to correct the grammar. I cringe everytime I read English fics with badly written French dialogs, it makes me loose the focus on the story (Same for tv shows, by the way. Come on, you have 2 millions $ to produce an episode and you can't find someone to double-check your French sentence?). It's really hard for me not to comment with a correction (AO3 etiquette: do not provide corrections unless the author specifically asked for it). I don't want to inflict that on my readers by butchering their native language.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars. It was a long time ago (in a galaxy far far away), when there were only three movies and a few books (Timothy Zahn forever!). And for those who wonder how old I am, I used to write with WordPerfect, DOS version (it was the pre-Windows era). It had a blue background (terrible for the eyes) and some keycodes you had to use to change the font to bold or italics. Since you can't visualize anything in DOS (it's not a wysiwyg), it used colors, so you had to remember what it meant (yellow letters meant italics...). And I used to save those texts on a floppy my mom took to her office to print.

19. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

It's not a popular one, but I really like Monologue for a Hyde. I like the tone. Pretty happy with Fuck Me Once Shame on You, Fuck Me Twice Shame on Me, too.

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Woe of Wrath without a doubt. With a proper plan, and a lot of plot holes avoided (that damn cellphone...)

I will tag the Death Metal and Glitter Club members whose Tumblr ids I know, aka @anotherbluesunday, @tastethesetears, @darling-gemini, @darlingfuego,

As well as @broken-everlark, @persephoneed, @bithablu, @allergictocolor and @insomniac1994.

#tag game

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justjstuff · 1 year

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Babes. I really appreciate all the asks about Daughter of Fire! It makes me happy to see that people love it as much as I do, I just gotta ask something of y’all. Please leave a review before sending an ask here! I noticed a lot of you don’t do that (not to mention the anon asks that I can’t possibly know if they did comment or not) and I just wanna explain a bit why it matters. I don’t know if u guys have been around here for as long as I have but the fandom culture changed a lot over the years, not all of it for the better. Five, ten years ago, it used to be the norm to comment on almost every single fic you read, in every chapter. There used to be discussions in the comment section, readers answering readers and sparking conversation… just genuinely a lot more interaction than nowadays. I’ve mentioned this before but I felt like writing another post about it.

Please notice that I’m not saying “don’t ever send me an ask about DoF again” or “you should be giving me comments NOW!!!”. I’ve just been scrolling through my endless unanswered asks and noticed that there were a lot like those I mentioned.

Now, I know sometimes it’s hard to send a review. I, myself, sometimes get so anxious just by the thought of writing a comment that I just don’t even read the fic/chapter. But notice how this is aimed towards the people who already took the time off their day to sit down on Tumblr and send me an ask. It would take the same amount of time to drop a review! And you can even do it anonymously too!

Anyways, this isn’t a complaint, I’m just always a bit sad to see that this is the way we led fandom culture? I know it might seem a bit disingenuous to be saying that when DoF has the reach it has but keep in mind that I also write other fics and most of them only get a little bit of engagement. It’s honestly disheartening because while I don’t write fanfiction for the comments, I do share it for them. I could just write them and satisfy that need and keep it to myself, never putting myself out there so others might judge me but I do because I love the fanfiction community and I love interacting with it.

I also noticed that authors who don’t have their social media linked tend to have more engagement in the comment section and that’s kinda what this post is about. Although we don’t comment as much as we did back in the days, it’s still the way some people choose to give fics their time of day, they see if there’s a lot of hits/kudos/comments before even giving it a try. So it does matter in a way that the engagement gets through other media only like some of the asks here! I’m not saying stop interacting with me here and keep only to the comment section, even because I chose to link all my social media because I love interacting w y’all in a deeper level here and on twt and other platforms but like. If you do choose to reach out to me, don’t forget to leave a review!

As I’m writing this I’m already regretting it lmao I don’t want to seem ungrateful and nitpicky but in the end I’m forcing myself to post this because it might spark some conversation and I do know a lot of authors feel like I do. We’re seeing how much writing isn’t being valued in our society and that’s kind of the same in fandom culture imo and I dunno. What do y’all think?

Love u to bits and I’ll see you soon 🖤

Oh, btw! Regarding the next DoF update!!! I can’t, and really it’s more like I don’t want to, give you guys a precise date. I struggled for quite some time with feeling like DoF was a chore, a job I had to keep up otherwise I would let everyone down and that (and some other stuff) led me to the biggest writer’s block I’ve ever had in my life. I’m just now trying to reconnect with that part of me that loves writing and finds actual enjoyment in tackling this huge and complex fic (and any and all writing tbh), so I don’t want to slip back into that same pattern I had before. I don’t like the term hiatus for fanfiction because it gives me this notion that the author is obligated to go back to the fic when in fact they’re not (unless the fic has a set update schedule and the author is letting u know when they’ll be back). No one is getting paid for this and most of us study and work full time jobs before coming and sharing something that can be really personal with strangers on the internet. If an author wants to drop their fic and never come back to fandom life than that’s their prerogative. We as fanfic readers kinda sign that unwritten contract that when we start reading an unfinished fic we might never get to see the end of it. However, I like the term hiatus because it illustrates my point with this which is: I’m not done with Daughter of Fire. I just don’t know when I’ll update next. Rest assured that if I ever decided to let it go, I would let everyone know. I would release all the chapters I have written, I would give y’all all of my notes and unfinished drafts and lone scenes, I would give you the document where I tell you step by step what would happen until the very end of the fic (and the sequel I have planed for it 👀). And I would also leave it open to anyone who wants to continue it to pick it up and give it a try. As it stands, I’m nowhere near done with Daughter of Fire 🖤

#daughter of fire #dof #kakasaku #fandom #fandom life #fandom culture #fanfic culture #fanfic #fanfiction #just me being silly #and talking mostly at myself lol #i love y’all

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eirian-houpe · 2 years

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Important: Please Read

This was a very difficult post to write, and it’s something that’s very important to me. I tried several times to make this post, and the first few attempts were very dark, really quite angry and hurt. You see, when I learned that a fellow writer is at the point where they won’t be making their regular posts on Tumblr, nor posting their fics to AO3, It made me very upset.

This writer is someone who has prompted and inspired other writers in the fandom, me included, to write so many popular, and some award-winning fics. Half a dozen or more of the fics on my WIP list have them to thank for the inspiration and encouragement; help when I get stuck on sections of the works.

So, selfishly, I don’t want to see them disappear, but it goes beyond that, and I know there are others that wouldn’t want to see them go either.

The writer is @peacehopeandrats.

I know I’m not alone when I say that I enjoy their posts. I know I’m not the only one that loves their fics - many of which are unfinished on AO3. How will I find out how the fics end? How will the others who are reading their fics find out how the stories they’re telling in their fics will end?

They’ve said the next chapter they post will be their last because they feel disheartened. They feel unwanted, and they’re thinking, “Why bother.”

If you’re among those who I know are out there, who read their fic, who follow their posts on Tumblr and who want them to know they should stick around, and should keep on posting and sharing their writing, then please:

Reblog this post, reach out to them with an ask, or drop a comment on one of their fics.

I’ve put the rest of this under a cut for no other reason than to avoid the TL;DR tendency that seems to happen these days.

In terms of our Rumbelle fandom, they are a writer who has been extremely active, and instrumental in helping to keep our fandom alive and vital. They gave us our first ‘Choose your own adventure’ type of fic last year with Rumbelle Me A Story.

They’re making this decision because no one engages with them on Tumblr.; on days like TMI Tuesday, for example, they rarely get asks, and on AO3 they only rarely receive comments, and only few kudos are being made even though it seems as though people are reading their fics. Their decision isn’t a petulant one, and honestly, they're not alone in feeling the sting of the lack of engagement. Others have noticed it too, and I’ve posted a lot about it recently too. As I said, they’re just feeling disheartened. They’re feeling unwanted. They’re thinking - “Why bother” if their efforts keep being ignored?

So I’m going to repeat myself, because honestly and selfishly, their being around here, and posting their fic is important to me and, I believe, to the Rumbelle fandom too. So… If you’re among those who I know are out there who read their fic, who follow their posts on Tumblr and who want them to know they should stick around, should keep on posting and sharing their writing; if you’re among those who have been prompted or inspired and supported by Peacehopeandrats, then please go ahead and reblog this post, reach out to them with an ask, or drop a comment on their one of their fics.

#Rumbelle #writers #writers and writing #engaging with fic #engaging with fandom content #go ahead and reblog #spread the word #in case you didn't know #writer friends #readers #followers #time sensitive

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thran-duils · 3 years

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Learn Her Place

Title: Learn Her Place Summary: Fem!Omega!Reader x Alpha!Tony Stark x Alpha!Steve Rogers x Alpha!Bucky Barnes. The reader works for S.H.I.E.L.D. and is on suppressants. In this universe, we obviously are working with multiple Alphas being able to share an Omega. The reader has had sex before but it has been with Betas. She is very distracting to the Alphas and they’re tired of not being able to focus on their work, so they decide to make sure her suppressants no longer work and she is where they think she belongs. Without the suppressants, the reader succumbs to her hormones very quickly. Words: 4,894 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Non-con, ABO dynamics, smut, breeding, brief mention of infidelity, multiple partners, angst. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! Author’s Note: Kudos to whoever picks up on the movie line reference

Masterpost

Steve hated it.

Watching her come back from one-night stands with Betas and not feel any remorse about it.

She was an Omega and was granted freedom by the suppressants given to her. She was wasting her fertile cycles away on frivolous orgasms with random strangers. She was able to infiltrate regular society, mainly hide herself away into the crowd. It was not foolproof though.

There was still something there during what her cycle should be. If one did not know she was Omega, they would not attribute the feeling of arousal to her. But he – along with every other high ranking agent – knew she was and it was that much easier to pinpoint it. He could pick up on it and it made him clench his fists every time she was in close proximity, her infiltrating all his senses. He saw the other Alphas in the room tense too at those times, having a difficult time focusing on the mission briefs with her sitting so close. And one of those times was right the hell now. Tony was staring at her abashedly across the table, his fingers at his lips, his jaw clenched. His stare could be excused, he was an intense person. Bucky, next to Steve, chewed on his cheeks while he tried avoiding looking over at her.

It was selfish.

And foolish because the suppressants only did so much, and they acted like it was a solve all. S.H.I.E.L.D was trying so hard to be inclusive and it was only serving to bring down focus and morale when all they wanted to do was mount one of their team members who was acting above her Omega rank.

She had raised her hand and was answering a question. She was smart, there was no doubt about that. She had worked really hard to get up to this level and she continued to go above and beyond.

But…

Steve’s eyes raked down her clavicle to where the top of her breasts were exposed above her shirt. She most certainly had a push up on. His thoughts trailed to what they looked like bare. How they would look at different angles… when she was riding him, below him, from the side… all the different positions he could get her in. His favorite: cradled in his arms, his hand on her round stomach…

He snapped to attention when Wanda literally snapped her fingers in front of his face. He had been spacing out.

“You alright?” she snorted.

“Yeah, fine,” he said rubbing the back of his neck. He gathered up his file and got up from the table without another word, walking towards the door.

He spotted her down the hall, speaking with Thor. Thor was enthralled, looking at whatever she was showing him in her file. He was a huge teddy bear, just like Bruce.

Steve caught sight of Tony and Bucky coming to stand next to him, their eyes fixated on her too down the hallway.

“Anyone else not catch a single thing that was said in that meeting?” Bucky half joked.

“She’s distracting,” Steve snapped in hushed tones. “How do they not notice the affect she has? Has no one said anything?”

“Oh, I’ve already brought it up,” Tony told Steve and Bucky, rolling his eyes. “They’re marking it up to me not being able to ‘control myself’ and shaming me for it.” He added scornfully, “Were you forced to watch that goddamn video—”

“Where they were described as ‘delicate flowers’? Yeah, I did. And was that supposed to make us feel any better about thinking about them being put in harm’s way?” Bucky muttered, shaking his head. “They shouldn’t be putting her out in the field. Here in the office is one thing. But they shouldn’t be putting any position outside. They’re too susceptible to persuasion.”

Tony said, “That’s why it’s supposed to be secret about their Omega status.”

“I don’t like them out there,” Bucky repeated. “Not just for them but for the rest of our safety too.”

Thor was so close to her, laughing at whatever she had said. He was not affected at all. Steve ground his teeth watching that in front of him. She was comfortable around him, her hand coming to rest on his arm. He felt jealously scratching away at his insides, knowing she was in a cycle.

“It’s gonna drive me insane if I don’t leave,” Tony grated, tearing his eyes away from her to focus on the other two. “You going to the party tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Bucky and Steve said in unison, still staring down the hall.

Tony snorted, “Who the hell planned it on a Thursday, anyhow? Don’t get too worked up if she takes a random person home. I for one won’t be there to witness that. That is unless…” He pulled a syringe out of his pocket, holding it up and Bucky swiped it in the blink of an eye, making it disappear again. Tony threw him a wry smile and said, “I think it’s about time. Don’t hesitate too long now since she’s just gone into the cycle. It’ll take a day or two though to work, remember! And don’t let Banner catch you with that.”

He clapped Bucky on the shoulder before turning on his heel, leaving the other two Alphas to stew.

<><><>

Bucky and Steve walked into the loud club, finding everyone in disarray already in the VIP area. They had been on last minute mission and had returned late and the party was already well underway. The upper space of the club was packed of S.H.I.E.L.D agents at all varying stages of intoxication. Some had set up tables to play poker – something normally illegal in clubs but no one was bothering them – as well as varying card games.

Of course both of their attention was drawn in towards Y/N. Clint was laughing at the fact she had walked back from up the stairs with a sandwich shoved halfway in her mouth. “Y/N! The food is on the way! You remember? That we ordered?”

“But I’m hungry now,” she whined, her mouth full. “And Wanda asked for half of it!”

“You’re such a baby,” Clint laughed barely keeping it together.

Wanda was in stitches, her head thrown back against her chair. Vision was laughing in tandem with Wanda, following her movement. She only laughed harder when Y/N held out the untouched part of the sandwich that was supposed to be for her.

“Thank you,” Wanda said, taking deep breaths as she tried to stifle her laughter.

Natasha appeared at Bucky and Steve’s sides, raising her eyebrows. “They are drunk,” Natasha hissed at them over the music.

And she smirked then, an unfamiliar kind of smirk. And Steve cocked his head.

“Are you drunk?”

She shrugged sheepishly which was all the answer they needed.

You grasped onto Steve’s arm, startling him. “Have you guys done shots yet?”

Steve’s eyes flicked down to her hand only for a moment and he could feel every press of her hand into his bicep. He looked back up at her and told her, “I can’t get drunk, Y/N.”

“Oh, right,” she said looking immediately pitying of him. She rubbed his arm excessively in her drunk state and he stiffened, his jaw clicking. “I’m sorry. I forgot!” She laughed, noticing how stiff he was and poked him in the chest. “You need to loosen up, Steve.”

“I’ll try,” he said forcing a smile.

“You too, Bucky,” she commented eyeing his stoic expression. She touched the side of his face and he inhaled sharply. She giggled at the response and said, “Maybe you’ll feel better after a drink? You can get drunk right?”

Before he could respond, her attention was drawn elsewhere by Wanda. As soon as she was gone, Steve let out a frustrated sigh and Bucky mirrored his state.

“She’s not taking care of herself,” Bucky murmured, shaking his head. “Anyone could take her home. Anyone!”

“Yeah, well, we’ll make sure that doesn’t happen,” Steve returned firmly. Bucky frowned and Steve rolled his eyes, “You can have some drinks. I’ll just be the sober eyes.”

“Thanks for that leeway, but this has gone on long enough hasn’t it?” Bucky asked.

“It has,” Steve exhaled heavily. Y/N was holding Clint’s hand as they danced their way down the staircase from the VIP section, away from where him and Bucky were standing.

Steve was close to her all night, especially on the dance floor. At one point, he grabbed a female Alpha who had started grinding on Y/N and yanked her away. The other Alpha had started to get buck until she realized who exactly she was trying to fight. He was not a hard man to mistake, not with all the press conferences and his mere presence on top of that. She gritted her teeth before leaving seeing his icy stare, taking the hint. Y/N was oblivious, dancing to the techno music, hands in the air still with Clint and Wanda.

Y/N fanned herself and her hands came to the hem of her shirt. Steve’s eyes almost bugged out of his head as she began to tear it off. Steve was at her side immediately, grabbing the shirt before she could remove it completely, yanking it back down.

She focused in on him, confused, and he demanded inches from her face, “What are you doing?”

“It’s hot,” she yelled at him over the music, as if that was a reasonable explanation for her behavior. He imagined all the eyes on her now, his blood pumping in his ears.

Steve shook his head and grasped her arm, pulling her through the crowd.

“Steve!” he heard Clint call from behind him, but it went ignored.

Bucky knew when Steve walked by with Y/N it was time. He got up, following Steve’s movement away from the VIP section towards a more isolated part of the club. Y/N was asking Steve where he was taking her before Bucky snuck up and administered the shot before Y/N could even react to his presence.

She began to ask, “What the hell…” but her eyes were already drooping.

Steve caught her before her knees gave out from beneath her. She was conscious but she was far past coherent. She groaned in his arms and he picked her up, hushing her.

“Wish I could have gotten even two drinks in before that,” Bucky said, eyes searching the club. He looked towards the hall and said, “Should try to take her out a back way or…?”

“She was reckless,” Steve grumbled in his ear as she slumped into his side. “Let’s take her home. She shouldn’t remember any of this. But no, let’s take her back by so everyone can see how ‘drunk’ she is.”

“Right, good idea,” Bucky agreed.

<><><>

Tony walked in, seeing Y/N at the break room table already, at 7:00am. But, her head was resting on her forearms, a large cup of coffee next to her. He looked over his shoulder, seeing people were walking by in the hallway. Slowly, he closed the door, the handle clicking into place when it was fully closed. She did not stir, and he cocked his head. She must really be out.

He tapped her shoulder and she grumbled, sitting back uncomfortably. She was squinting at him and recognized him, before rubbing at her eyes.

“You alright?” he asked, feigning concern.

“Yeah, just… not feeling great,” she told him.

Hungover. Every clue of it clear as day to everyone else. But Tony was not everyone else. He knew this was not a withdrawal from alcohol but another drug entirely. Her body was correcting itself from that nasty medication, right at the height of her heat.

“You should be drinking water instead of coffee,” Tony told her, his Alpha peaking in his tone.

It was an easy way to worm himself in. He was not supposed to do this – but they had also not been supposed to administer that drug without her consent –, it was against protocol. But he just had to know. He had to see if she would respond.

Simultaneously to his surprise and not, she made eye contact with him. He saw… doe eyes. She quickly averted her gaze and looked at her cup.

“You’re right,” she told him.

Tony watched her with arousal as she got up and tossed the coffee in the sink. She went towards the fridge, but Tony was already there, opening it up to grab a water bottle for her.

“Let me,” he told her, and she stopped, looking at him patiently as he held it out to her.

She took it from him, taking a drink. “Thanks. I… I really don’t feel great.”

Tony pointed at her and said, “You probably need oxygen. And a lot of water.”

“Oxygen?”

“Clears a hangover pretty quickly.”

“Oh, I’m not—” she began to stammer, and he could not help his lip twitching in amusement at her looking embarrassed.

Tony chuckled, “It’s alright. The party was last night. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Y/N looked unsure if she should relax or not for a few moments before she relented, nodding. “Yeah, what idiot decided tequila shots was the way to start off the night?”

“Probably the same idiot who planned it to be on a Thursday.”

“Thirsty Thursday,” she mumbled, taking another drink.

“Thirsty Thursday,” Tony agreed lightly. “Eat something too. Something healthy. Fruit, maybe.” She grumbled in response but nodded as she sat back down at the table. She swiped an apple from the center of the table and took a large bite. Tony watched her for a few more seconds, anticipation nipping at his heels before he parted with, “Feel better.”

He needed to tell Bucky and Steve she should be ready by tonight if she was already reacting to him like that.

<><><>

Y/N was the last one in her office, the other two had gone home already. She looked up at Tony walking into the office, carrying a bag. Her stomach growled at the smell coming from the bag, her eyes falling to it. Tony only stalled for a moment, the smell of her coming to him. She was tumbling fast, she looked flushed.

Tony approached her desk, a friendly glint in his eye. “Ah, you are still here. Here, we ordered some food. I always go for greasy at some point after drinking and I’m sure it’ll help.” She looked past him to where Bucky and Steve were in the hallway.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Y/N told him timidly.

Tony loved the sight: she was tying to avoid direct eye contact, speaking in soft tones.

“Just thought we’d be nice.”

“Thank you.” She would not grab it from him. “Today has been… I don’t know. I can’t focus. I need to finish this before I leave. I just… I don’t feel great,” she said her voice getting smaller as her eyes were dragged back to her computer screen.

Tony ordered, “Press save and close the laptop. Eat.” He placed the bag on her desk. “It’ll help.”

He turned to leave, and she blurted, “Where are you going?”

Tony came to a stop, his gaze locked with Steve and Bucky, his back to her. To them, he gave them a sly, knowing smile that only lasted a few seconds before he turned back to her.

“I mean, you don’t have to leave and go eat somewhere else if you already have your food too. You don’t want it to get cold. I promise I’m not throwing up or anything. I just feel off. Like a headache… a little hot.”

She wanted them to stay, that was obvious. She needed something from them and even if she could not figure out what it was just yet, her body was telling her they were needed.

“Sure,” Tony chirped. “If it won’t bother you.”

She shook her head and he started walking back towards the desk beside hers. His suit jacket came off, and he swung it around the back of the chair. Steve and Bucky had come into the room as well, purposely leaving the door open. Bucky sat across from Y/N, his eyes following her movements as she opened the bag Tony had placed in front of her. He watched the way her hands shook ever so slightly, her tongue running across her bottom lip as she opened the container of food.

Y/N made a satisfied sound as she tasted it. “God, thank you. This is delicious. I needed it. I feel… shaky.”

The three of them around her was making it difficult for her to focus though. She kept stealing glances at them, being met with blatant stares back as they slowly ate. Steve adjusted, trying to hide his length that was starting to grow at her being so damn close and smelling so damn good.

Tony spilled some on the desk and said, “Shit!”

Before she could offer he was leaning over her, reaching across the grab a kleenex from the other side of her desk. He heard her inhale and he forced himself to not react, sitting back down, dabbing at the food he had spilled. His jaw was clenched; he should not have done that because now he was working himself up quickly.

The three of them noticed her chewing slowed to a stop and her eyes moved between the three of them. Something was starting to click… the tense silence in the room getting under her skin. The off feeling no doubt growing ever stronger.

Swallowing, she cleared her throat. Her voice was higher pitched than normal, “Do you guys want a cookie? To go with it for after, I mean? I… there’s some over here.”

She pushed her chair back quickly and moved away from her desk. Along the wall, she fumbled with the drawers, looking for these mysterious cookies. She was getting squirrelly, nervous, like she wanted some air. They could all sense it and they wanted to get ahead of her stressing out while they could. All three were out of their seats: Bucky strode across the room away from her, closing the door while Tony and Steve came closer towards her.

Y/N turned around startled at them all having moved so quickly, holding a handful of fortune cookies. Bucky leaned against the doorframe, staring directly back at her. She gave a small laugh, “Are people still working out there? Were we being too loud, do you think?”

Tony and Steve said nothing and her smile faltered, a frown growing. “Can…Can I just… get by,” she said trying to skirt around them but each time, one of them blocked her way. She tried to brush it off, holding the cookie out. “Do you just want it now?”

She asked, so innocently. Sweetly. Steve shuddered at it. She could not hide her true nature even in her tone. And the phrasing, the three of them smirked.

Bucky was still by the door, leaning against the frame. He popped a chocolate in his mouth, watching the scene unfold.

“Well, I would really like to get eat—” She said, trying again to break through their rank and being unsuccessful. She frowned visibly now, worry lines showing up on her face. She chuckled nervously, “Did I do something wrong?”

Steve noticed the spiral coming. He could hear the increase in her heartrate. She knew she was surrounded by Alphas and was growing uncomfortable. Especially since she was alone, it was late, and they were encroaching. His hand came up to slap over her mouth and she yelled frightened, the sound muffled. He pulled her away from the counter, dragging her back towards the third desk. Tony was ready, grabbing her arms and twisting them behind her back, slipping the retractable cuffs around her wrists. The cookies tumbled to the floor and he paid them no mind, stepping on them as he passed her to Steve solely. Her arms were bound at the small of her back and she fell face first against the table. All three of them were growing hard at the sight.

As soon as Steve removed his hand she began to scream, and he clamped back down.

“Omega,” Steve purred in her ear and she whimpered behind his hand. He laced his tone, his Alpha rumbling, “You’re going to be quiet aren’t you?” She said nothing, her chest just rapidly moving up and down. “Omega… are you gonna be quiet? Nod for me if you are gonna be good.” She nodded frantically against his hand and he slowly removed it.

Tearfully, she said, “Can you let me go?”

“Oh, no. No, we can’t, beautiful,” Steve said, his finger running down her exposed neck, causing her to squirm. He pulled away, turning his attention to Tony.

“But… I… I didn’t do anything wrong,” she tried to plead, looking at Bucky across the desk to where he was standing at the door. “I followed all the rules. I—” Tony’s hands lifted up underneath her dress and she let out a choked noise, craning her neck to look back at him. “Alpha, please!”

Tony audibly groaned at her slipping up and giving in to calling him by his title. He yanked her leggings and underwear down to her ankles. He freed himself from his slacks and his fingers pressed at her pussy. She buried her face in the desk, trying to squeeze her legs together.

“Oh, come now. None of that,” Tony ordered, and she loosened. His fingers pressed in, stroking her slowly. She was already wet, probably had been for the better part of the day. It is why the three of them had stayed away, they could have lost control before now and ruined it all otherwise.

“You’re not being punished, Omega,” he told her. “Rewarded actually…” She whimpered and he cooed as he continued stroking her gently, “Oh, sweetpea… beautiful Omega. You’re going to be just fine. You’re in the perfect hands. You feel sick for a reason and we are going to help you.”

The more he spoke, the more he watched her body relax against his hand and his tone. The smell of her was driving him insane – he could only imagine Steve and Bucky not being able to touch her at all. He should not stall for long, wouldn’t want to start a fight.

“You’re going to feel so much better,” Tony promised as she tried to push back on his fingers, and he bit his lip at the sight. His fingers were gone, and she let out a disappointed noise. Tony rubbed his cock up and down her ass, slowly. “God, this is gonna feel so fucking good.”

Tony’s head pressed in and she gasped, adjusting to his width. He gave a strangled laugh, relishing in how tight her walls were. She was squirming beneath him and he gave her a rapt smack on the ass.

“I know you haven’t had an Alpha cock before but relax, Omega,” Tony ordered gruffly.

“It’s too much,” she said pitifully.

“You’ll adjust. You’ll adjust,” Tony moaned, pressing in further. “You’ll be able to take all of me. All of us. It’s what you were built for.”

Bucky was becoming shifty, chewing on his thumb nail, his eyes boring into Y/N. He had stepped away from the door, coming closer to where she was. His dick was outlined in his jeans but he had refrained from releasing himself just yet. Steve on the other hand had taken his cock out and was stroking himself, needing some type of contact. Both of their eyes were blown wide.

“Oh. Tony,” Bucky said, aroused. “You would love this sight.”

Y/N’s eyes were glazed over as Tony thrusts grew deeper and quicker. Looking the perfect example of a subservient Omega, impaled on an Alpha’s cock.

“I love the feeling,” Tony choked back, holding tight to her wrists to drive himself deeper.

Soon, they came tumbling down. Tony came with loud grunts, emptying inside of her and he left a claim mark on her shoulder. Tony only took a moment to kiss at her neck, whispering something sweet into her ear before he backed off. His pants were buttoned back up and he collapsed in one of the chairs, his eyes falling on her.

Steve wasted no time coming behind her and entering her with ease. She whimpered at the intrusion, still so sensitive. His thrusts were unbridled, worked up into a frenzy. Y/N’s hips bounced off the desk.

“Alpha,” she whined.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Steve panted, his fingers digging into the skin at her hips. “You feel so goddamn good, Omega. You’re doing so well. So, so well. Everything I dreamed.”

The room was filled with skin slapping skin and the aroused moans leaving Y/N.

“Alpha,” she whined again, and Steve groaned, knowing she was getting close. He could feel her clenching around him.

And when she did, shaking and whimpering, Steve thrusted quickly as she tightened. He finished with a shout unable to help himself, coating her walls. He left another distinct claim bite at the base of her neck. His fingers traced it gently before he noticed Bucky standing there.

“You know, for an Alpha. Buck, you sure as hell are patient,” Steve joked.

Bucky gave a curt smirk before shoving Steve out of the way. Steve held his hands up in surrender, turning away and letting Bucky have his way with her. Y/N was doing so well still, behaving and letting Bucky rut her into the desk without pushback. Bucky had been right, Tony thought to himself. He loved that look in her eyes. She was lost to her arousal.

“P-p-please, alpha,” she begged moments before she cried out again.

Bucky grunted loudly, his thrusts becoming more erratic, chasing his high. He shook as he emptied himself and went to the opposite shoulder to leave another claim mark. She was exhausted, breathing heavily having not one but three Alphas imprinting themselves on her and using her.

The door opened and all three of them froze, Bucky still buried in Y/N, his large hands at her hips.

Clint was standing there, his mouth fallen open in disbelief at the scene. There were a few seconds of suspended shock before he asked them disgusted, “You couldn’t even lock it?”

“Didn’t think about it,” Tony admitted.

“You? You didn’t think? That’s rich,” Clint spat back at him. He noticed Y/N was handcuffed and realization dawned on him. He glared daggers at the three of them and snapped, “You’re going to get sidelined for this!”

“No, I don’t think so. More like chewed out… I’ve been chewed out before,” Steve said. Impatiently he added, “Now, will you close the damn door?”

His request went ignored by Clint, who pressed on furiously, “No, seriously. You guys know that right? Compromising an agent like this! Especially one they’re trying to keep up because they’re in such big demand to even out the ranks! She’s only going to respond to your Alpha commands now! That compromises her!”

“And why is anyone complaining about that? She should be answering to her superiors,” Tony remarked, watching her intently. She was so lost, trying to figure out what was going on. She had no purpose without feeling a cock being driven into her when she was this worked up into her heat. Tony almost felt bad for her…

“Barton, are you going to let Barnes pull out so we can untie her or what? She’s got to be getting sore by now. Wouldn’t want to hurt our ‘delicate flower’.” Clint stood his ground and Tony lost his humor, snapping, “Get the fuck out, Barton. It’s already been done. Now. Before I lose my goddamn temper.”

Clint’s jaw was clenched as he turned away from the three Alphas, slamming the door behind him so loudly it shook the wall.

“Speaking of that,” Bucky said, clearing his throat. He leaned in, catching her attention. “Darling… do you want Alpha to finish inside you?” She nodded fervently and Bucky grunted in response, rutting against her backside even as he pulled away from her. He pulled her up and she stood on shaky legs. In her ear, he asked, “Do you want to always be finished inside of?” She nodded again, biting her bottom lip. “Hmm… you want to please us? That’s what I thought. So. How about after you take in that feeling of that warm seed inside you, you go up to the director and tell her you want to resign? Tell her you wanna be a good little housewife for us? How does that sound?”

“Okay,” she agreed.

Steve’s fingers pressed her cheeks in, pressing her lips out and he smiled. “You wanna be an asset to the team in your best way. Such a team player.” He shot Tony a look at the end of the desk, an aroused gleam in his eye. “I’m sure we can get you a proper collar.”

“I’ve already got it built. I’ve been waiting for her to learn her place.” Tony then added, “But she can’t live with me. Pepper will kill me.”

“I’ve got it,” Steve said.

Steve rubbed her stomach and said, “Regardless, she’s gonna be serving her real purpose soon.”

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21

#abo marvel #steve rogers x reader #tony stark x reader #bucky barnes x reader #alpha steve rogers #alpha tony stark #alpha bucky barnes #my shit #dark smut

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bao3bei4 · 3 years

Text

kpop music videos that gave their fans sexual brainworms

OR accidental fetish pop and its fringe fanbase: meditations on gendered desire

large warning here: i am someone who has been into kpop for the past 10 years. however, i have always been an extremely casual fan. i do write fic, but not rpf. if any of that makes you not want to hear me talk about kpop rpf (or you don’t want to hear about it in general), please keep moving.

anyway, obviously pop is corporate, soulless, and manufactured. but sometimes some truly bizarre shit gets past the committees and destroys a generation. these are their stories.

the video that started this is all is got7’s just right, released july 10th, 2015.

yes that’s all 7 members of got7 (one is out of frame) shrunken down for your viewing pleasure. they live in your room and tell you you’re just right.

this sheer fetish power of this video is nerfed only by how utterly sexless it is.

they’re styled like and dance like this. it’s a totally unironic sendup of the seminal work that preceded it by four years, “what makes you beautiful” by the white kpop group “one direction.” the chaste energy of the whole thing makes you legitimately wonder if the good people at jyp have just never heard of microphilia. (during a dramatic reading of this piece, here a friend interjected seriously, “i think it’s korean culture not to talk about things like this, fetishes in the workplace.”)

it’s for the best, honestly, though because the actress in the music video is lee ja in, who was 11 when the video was shot. considering that the members themselves ranged in age from 18-23 at the time, i think it’s actually very impressive that we only have to cancel one.

you receive absolutely no prizes for guessing that it’s jackson wang we’re sending to social justice prison. why’d he do this? no one asked.

at any rate, got7 fans, or “gans” (they actually call themselves igot7s which is too twee for me), have much to think about here: all 7 very small members of got7 sneaking into their room, possibly weird age play, and jackson wang eating a very large cake.

let’s see what they actually did.

twitter was actually very tame. the most charged thing i found was (unsurprisingly) from a bts fan (“ban”). i don’t actually know what it means, but i think it means something.

so, of course, i turned to the internet’s last bastion of free speech, where you can say whatever the fuck you want and receive cheers, or as the kids say, “kudos.” that is, i read fanfiction.

for those of you who don’t know your herstory, i started my journey at Asianfanfics.com, where, at the time of writing, there were 12,067 got7 stories. i want to start this by saying that i think feminism won, because someone was paying real human dollars to advertise their irene/wendy fanfiction on a banner ad, which is quite possibly a win for women for everywhere.

anyway, Asianfanfics.com’s search engine sucks ass (i kept on finding stories about different combinations of bts members worrying about their weight and being reassured by another member that were entitled “just right”), so i decided to look through all got7 stories written between july 2015 and december 2015.

but, alas, not a single got7 microphilia fic to be found.

also, some genre commentary while i’m here: i think the stories i respect the most are the “[y/n] is a ordinary girl who’s assigned to be got7’s manager! can she make them into superstars? as sparks begin to fly, can she keep it professional?” like fuck yeah that sounds like a kickass dating sim. it almost definitely already is one. i salute all the teens around the world for buying into the fantasy of dating a boy band member that they themselves sell you.

however, i don’t think i respect the “[member a] and [member b] are mafia/jocks and nerds/college students/high schoolers” concepts. in my opinion, the whole fantasy of boy band member is their personas, their hidden real personalities, their celebrity, and the show business setting. find a different intellectual property if you wanna write about school. i even respect the “yugyeom drank girl juice [not estrogen] and turned into a sexy girl” story more, because at least it knows exactly what it wants, and also because they’re all still boy band members. well, band members. shout out to yugyeom.

so, anyway, i looked elsewhere. at the time of writing, archive of our own only had 11,645 got7 stories, but it does have a better search, so it effectively has more. as an aside, i think it’s so funny, and mildly disorienting at first, that archive of our own separates the “music & bands” section from the “celebrities & real people” section. boy band members aren’t real people.

the first problem i encountered is that only 20 or so stories were written within a year of just right’s release. absolute cringe gans. don’t you care about your boys? there were zero stories tagged “vore” or “microphilia” either. stories containing the word “tiny” that were rated either “explicit” or “mature” were all normal (“normal”) size fetishization rather than, you know, just right.

however, i learned my lesson from twitter. i realized that what had happened was that watching this video had created sleeper agents, just waiting for their activation phrase. that activation phrase? bangtan boys. and yeah, lo and behold, there was one! unfortunately (fortunately?) it had nothing to do with got7, let alone just right, so i’m not going to talk about it.

basically what i learned is that this video may have actually been very normal, and my brain has just been destroyed by being too online at a young age.

however, there are plenty more videos in this genre. i present to you exo wolf, a banger from may 30th, 2013. i say banger, because in a comedic inversion, it’s actually fucking terrible.

this video is pretty self-explanatory in terms of why it might induce certain responses.

let’s get the formalities out of the way. this video, the member who’s getting cancelled is kai. he has braids in this video :/

also skating on thin ice: xiumin and chen. guys what was up with the whole exo-m thing? like, we’re gonna have a cpop subgroup, but it’s going to be part chinese members and part korean members that we’ll give a chinese name? unsurprisingly, the three exo members who have departed from the group are all chinese. they weren’t able to stand the microaggressions probably. but xiumin and chen remain uncancelled as an official chinese apology for five thousand of years of on-and-off invasions of korea. sorry guys that was kinda fucked up. our bad!

anyway, there are basically three avenues for exo fans to take: 1) humans with wolfish characters (usually wolf pack dynamics, which even wolves themselves don’t fucking use so i think all of you should shut up. the real omega here is your brain), 2) werewolves (duh), and 3) wolves with human characteristics (i.e. standard furry fare).

exo themselves let all these possibilities exist at the same time, superimposing them over each other, which is very woke and egalitarian of them. let’s see what the people decided. awoo.

Asianfanfics dot com had many stories in this vein. i feel very validated that this time i was able to correctly predict a fetish. that said, briefly returning to my earlier comment regarding alternate universes: it’s intense psychic whiplash reading about these vampires and werewolves, and going okay okay luhan is a vampire this that whatever, and then seeing the actual real performance photos the author attaches at the bottom of each chapter. bro i forgot these were actual people.... it breaks immersion so bad... i’m sorry, i just can’t believe that any of these dancing boys are having weird vampire sex with wings or whatever.

archive of our own also had many stories in this vein. and i think there are some important difference between the two sites worth talking about.

first of all, i think the higher engagement rate of archive of our own really enables some of the authors to get super bold. it makes Asianfanfics.com seem a little quaint, actually. like the wordcounts are waaay longer, for one. it’s uncommon for a story hosted on Asianfanfics.com to be more than a few thousand words long (most of them could easily be published in the new yorker), whereas some of these archive of our own people have written full length novels about if the members of exo were werewolves. i guess it’s just intensely demoralizing for the aff.com crew to get, like, three comments per story.

the second big difference is that i’m noticing more common themes between the ao3 crew’s writing. like stan intertextuality, or plagiarism, or whatever, but they seem to be implicitly engaging with each other’s characterizations, storylines, and tropes. i think it is because they probably all follow each other on twitter. (i have been active on twitter for three weeks now so i am an expert on fanfiction twitter.)

anyway, like not that i am a particularly big gan (cannot even list all the members), but these people seem to have reached a very specific consensus on how jackson wang, for instance, would react in a variety of situations that really surprises me? if i were to sit down and write a got7 story, i think the fuckboitude, the douchebaggery is a big part of his charm. not to be nationalist or anything, but for god’s sake, he’s from hong kong. but these people have him as very sensitive, lots of protective instincts. not that i understood what anyone on aff.com was doing with his character either, but they did all seem to be doing different things. “kudos” to that, i guess.

but: exo. wolf. i searched the “wolves” tag. this filtered the list down from 33459 stories to 52 stories. and the “wolves” tag was very different from the aff.com “wolf” tag. for the most part, aff.com liked stories where a member was a wolf (usually shapeshifting), feral boy, lots of y/n, lots of y/n dating a feral boy who is secretly a wolf.

ao3 really, really, really likes alpha/beta/omega stories. sorting by the most popular stories, only five on the first page weren’t a/b/o. and one of them was a cis f!baekhyun story, so i think the intended effect was communicated. anyway, let’s talk about some of the themes.

first of all, i’m disappointed. today’s bonus cancellation is of ao3 “wolves” writers. why the fuck are you drawing so heavily from european wolves?? there are wolves in asia!! you don’t need to keep giving their packs and ranks weird latin names. i will kill you. i hate italy. korea literally has a native wolf. i hate all of you!!! if you want to write caucasian wolves go watch that dumbass cw show!!!! my god.

the second theme (the first one was white supremacy) is that no one wants to be a wolf who fucks. i think that we need a sex positivity movement, or something, for omega rights. like, are all of you doing okay? you’re queering misogyny by inventing new genders to oppress. another level to “no one wants to be a wolf...” is the “who fucks” part. there are so many consent issues. and not even in like, a sexy intentional way? in a “i genuinely do not think this author understands how their writing comes off” way. unfortunately i am sensitive to untagged sexual coercion, and there was a lot of that.

at any rate, the aff.com wolves were at peace with being wolves, very self-actualized. the ao3 wolves know that every minute they spend alive on this bitch of an earth is suffering, and also sex.

the third theme is the evolution of y/n. y/n, who, in a startlingly woke move for aff.com, is almost always korean, is a girl main character stumbling into love, boy bands, and wolves (i think it’s because aff.com is oldschool kpop fandom, so therefore heavily asian itself in userbase). but y/n is not the main character in ao3 stories. she is the straight best friend. in what i think is a hilarious move, ao3 authors invert the gay best friend paradigm to give the gay main character a straight girl as best friend. she usually calls him “a gay,” she has lots of thoughts on boys, and she knows his sexuality better than he does and before he does. (sidebar: if all the men are gay, and all the women are straight...)

there’s a really fun twist to this, though, because the main character is always a self-insert in fanfiction. but where older fanfiction like aff.com was at peace with this and literalize it via y/n shenanigans, modern fic writers who haven’t finished distangling their complicated relationship with wanting to be a man who loves other men instead simply imbue their main character with their essence. a little voodoo doll sehun, with a lock of y/n hair.

this creates a deeply ambivalent relationship with gender in these stories. the main character is usually an omega, but one who resents being an omega. their body and its parts is usually described, if at all, as ostensibly intersex (except more offensively), but in practice, these discourses inscribe a trans body. (nb: i think cis writers approach this in a really fucked up fetishizing way, but i hope by this point we know that that goes without saying) it’s incredibly straightforward to read this, and see the underlying desires and fears in a heady cocktail of unfiltered writing that’s deeply confessional. you know when freud had people say whatever the fuck they wanted and figured they’d eventually free associate into releasing their subconscious into reality? yeah.

okay, and while we’re on the topic, let’s talk f(x) nu abo, released on may 4th, 2010.

this is a blitzy, maximalist, amped up dance hit that even has its own applause and cheers built in. it’s so fucking annoying, and i love it.

this song is on here because the second most popular kpop a/b/o story on ao3 is called “nu abo” except it’s about bts. that’s offensive enough in its own right. write something about f(x) (702 works). when will women win the right to have their own self-lubricating holes.

anyway, even though f(x) is probably innocent in all of this, i’m still cancelling amber liu.

for queerbaiting. who told her to look like ruby rose but hot? and for what? i’m also cancelling her for racism, but that wasn’t in this video.

moving on to a double feature: vixx voodoo doll and vixx chained up, released november 19, 2013 and november 9, 2015 respectively. this is because while voodoo doll is more formative, i think the fans who write fanfiction today got into kpop more recently, so we are casting a wide net.

anyway, voodoo doll is jam packed with weird pseudo-medical imagery, blood, vivisection, bondage, puppet shit, femdom, sharps, piercings, asphyxiation, dollification, stabbing/penetration metaphors, and a really sick and catchy dance. god that looks like the list of tags on the a/b/o wolf stories.

for this song, we’re cancelling you, for being way too into this song when you were 13.

vixx voodoo doll made me goth i guess! insert that pic of the your music saved me sign, except it saved me from getting into emo or pop punk probably.

chained up, comparatively, is much more tame. the only thing of note about it is that there are around 10 completely different chokers and choker looks the members wear in this music video. also they’re singing about being chained up, but that seemed a bit obvious.

we could argue that voodoo doll is gay while chained up is gay (derogatory); that voodoo doll is queer while chained up is gay; that chained up is a sensitive masterpiece of omega4omega sexuality. but we’re not going to.

we’re going to talk about what voodoo doll fanfiction was and was not. first, Aff.com had plenty of it. however, i was extremely disappointed to see that much of it did not hew to the spirit of vixx voodoo doll. my god, the voodoo doll becoming the one preying upon you disgusts me. the fantasy of the voodoo doll is that of absolute power. the idea that the doll itself has agency? instantly breaks the fantasy. i’m even not into voodoo dolls and i’m offended.

i also don’t think it’s part of the voodoo doll fantasy to release the doll. the only story on there that involved Y/N kidnapping vixx members like in the music video was unavailable because the author deactivated their account. come back qxeen what did you see.

i think this got off track, actually, in that i was mostly wondering why these people imprinted differently onto vixx voodoo doll than i did. like i don’t think you’re supposed to actually like straightforwardly absorb the morals and aesthetics of music videos like it’s propaganda. however, it’s more entertaining if you do. i hope ao3 doesn’t let me down.

out of the then 5932 works in the vixx fandom (the least out of every group so far, excluding f(x) because they’re women), 59 of them included the word “voodoo” somewhere. that’s 1%. i legitimately can’t tell if that’s high or not.

after some more cursory reading through the first page of popular results, my big takeaway is that people watched that video and wanted to be tortured and enslaved? but not, like, in a sexy way where the torturing is the point, the way where the point is to suffer bravely and beautifully, to endure the world’s harms like jesus on the cross, and then to fall into the arms of a beautiful boy who may or may not be the one hurting you in the first place.

there’s a certain predictability to these fantasies. like it’s not even masochism, which would be fun at least, it’s literally just like the desire to be beautiful, even as you suffer. and i do find that a little boring. (but, i mean, you can’t help being a woman!)

sidebar: on chained up. what’s interesting about chained up, is that most of the then 38 “chained up” works (likely because the video has no storyline) are about the members fucking during chained up promotions. no one’s ever actually chained up, but whatever. it’s fine. it’s fine!

anyway, here, more than ever, the nature of desire is stripped bare. i’ve written before [elsewhere in the unreleased tshirt cinematic universe] on how kpop boys are, through fandom, re-formed as white, or more strongly, i guess, blank slates. it’s really interesting to me how so much of this dynamic of projection is enabled by the fact that they’re asian men. they’re infantilized, feminized vessels; they’re seductive, but childlike, oblivious to their own charms, so nonthreatening; they have uncontrollable desires for sex, they’re scared of sex. and above all else, white women submit themselves to them, insert themselves into them. basically kpop fans tend to rework old school yellow peril and emasculation fantasies to reenact their own desires, often white, often cishet on them.

what i am saying is that there’s another thesis about forced feminization and its racialized subtext in here. obviously gender is a racialized construct to begin with, but like it’s fascinating to argue that when white women remake asian men according to their own desires, that is, into themselves, they (hopefully) unintentionally echo these old fears about the sexual order.

it illuminates, it seems, the underlying dynamic in the denigration of asian men, which is of course the fear of miscegenation. now, my breathtaking ability to make everything about me aside, miscegenation is interesting because it presents a racial synthesis, beginning to collapse and trouble the artificial designations of purity. so we make asian men into white women, and end up with an unsettling hybrid. i’m sure this has deep implications for me personally.

but i think we already knew that quite a few of these people had yellow fever, so let’s talk about the gender dialectic at play. basically, the above dynamic, of making men into women (whether literally, in body; or subjectively, in mind; or even relationally, as they are objectified into passive vessels for your desire) coexists with the ostensibly converse dynamic, in which the straight women desires to be a gay man. these aren’t necessarily in conflict: it could easily be that these are different writers writing different stories, that both are ways of expressing discontent with existing in a raced, gendered body, or even that the end product of both is the same.

it’s been a while without a picture. all of you now have the legal right to hunt and kill me for making a d&g joke.

anyway, what i want to talk about is how these two fantasies can coexist. that by making a man into yourself, you can speak on your own desire in a passive way. my normal interest is analyzing forced masc fantasies (albeit in chinese opera lol), and they bear little to no resemblance to this kind of fantasy. this kind offers plausible deniability, of course, because wanting things is embarrassing. but also the fantasy isn’t about wanting to be a man, it’s about having no choice but to be a failed one. the gender pessimism running through these stories is palpable. basically andrea long chu wants what wolf fanfiction writers know: everyone is an omega, and everyone hates it.

at any rate, this racialized dynamic is one that i wasn’t sure how to bring up throughout this piece, mainly because there is no definitive way for me to tell the race of any individual writer, beyond just like the clear and present vibes that i receive. but i think it structures a lot of the fantasies contained in this essay. (i felt more comfortable bringing up the gendered dynamic, because it was fairly trivial to find out the current gender of the person writing each story i was reading.)

obviously we should return to the specter haunting this conversation: the very much alive david eng. i think this sort of argument is familiar to readers of racial castration, especially his chapter on m. butterfly. btw sorry for mentioning that play 2 out of 3 posts on this blog. i have problems.

let’s talk about the parallel imagery between the depiction of gallimard’s final speech and the fanfiction i’ve described above. in it, gallimard makes himself into his own dream woman, dressing in yellowface and robes, the costume of puccini’s original madame butterfly. and he laments his lost love:

there is a vision of the orient that i have. of slender women in chong sams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. who are born and raised to be the perfect women. who take whatever punishment we give them, and bounce back, strengthened by love, unconditionally.

in that, i see the self insert, and i see the sufferer of vixx voodoo fic. the fantasy that gallimard has about asian women is repeated, this time about asian men and a helpless identification with them. and on some level, gallimard’s women do have something very compelling to identify with: they suggest that there’s a way to endure white male violence without sacrifice, and even more potently, to enjoy it on some level.

but onward to the titular racial castration. eng argues that gallimard’s wilful ignorance of song’s true gender is a psychic castration -- song’s masculinity is diminished so that his own can be enhanced within their relationship. this, eng believes, acts out “richard fung’s contention that in western imaginary ‘asian and anus are conflated.’” this process stabilizes the relationship between the asian man and the white woman: they occupy the same place within the sexual dyad.

this is, i think, why some people are addicted to writing from the bottom’s perspective. again -- not implying that irl bottoms don’t exist or that bottoms are psychically castrated lol -- but rather that you can fantasize about this ideal asian man that you can come to embody. in kpop rpf, rather than it being between a white man and an asian man (unless someone’s started writing chad future fic), it’s between two asian men. so this transformation is performed. whiteness is always intruding and so i think eng is helpful here to making it visible again.

this essay isn’t a callout or actual cancellation or anything like that, i do wanna be clear. i guess i just like talking about fantasies, even the embarrassing ones, and where they come from. i think oftentimes in fandom spaces, we write a lot of stories off as idfic, and i think virtually every single one of the stories i referenced to write this fairly uncontroversially fall into that category. but i think calling something an “id” something or the other naturalizes the satisfaction it gives as purely instinctual and unconscious, when i do think there are deeper narratives at play. while i didn’t ever actually reference the base here (sorry), i do think it’s worth talking about how real world power shapes & maintains the superstructure, and thereby our fantasies.

anyway in conclusion, maybe i was the one with sexual brainworms the whole time.

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backofthebookshelf · 4 years

Text

Your Handy Guide to AO3 Searching and Filtering

In the spirit of YKINMKBYKIOK (aka let other people have fun and stop complaining that they exist, jeez), and also because I am a Nerd and will apparently do my actual literal job for free if it involves fandom in any way: How To Find Fics on AO3

There are two basic ways to go about this: searching and filtering. In this age of Google we're all kind of used to searching, but Google's search engine is...special, and also not really how a well-constructed database search works. There's a lot of reasons for this, many of which involve "the unstructured chaos that is the Internet at large" and "Google's secret algorithm which we will never understand," but tl;dr you've probably noticed that searching for a specific fic or type of fic on AO3 doesn't always return the results you expected. There are ways to make it work, but I vastly prefer filtering to find fics I want to read.

First off: I usually have something to start with, most of the time it's a fandom. There are a bunch of ways to find your starting tag; usually, to be honest, I'm bouncing off of a direct link to a fic. If you're starting from AO3's homepage, though, you can use the tag search - the plain search box in the upper right won't do it for you, usually. Hit the search tab, pick tag search, and search for canonical fandom tags. 99 times out of a hundred that'll get you your fandom.

Now if you're looking for a specific character or pairing you could browse the resulting page, the one that gives you all the child tags (those would be tags that only apply to this fandom, usually but not always characters) and relationship tags. If your fave is rarer, this is a good place to start. Otherwise, click that Works button up on the top right.

Now you've got the page you're probably used to: your fandom's tag, newest works at the top. If you like to start your fic-reading from AO3's homepage, there's a handy Favorite Tag button up in the top right; if you click that it'll show up on your homepage for you and you can always and easily check the newest fics. But if you're reading this you're probably looking to do something more complicated than just read whatever was posted most recently, right? This is where the magic Sort and Filter option comes in.

Let's start with Include.

This is where you'll get your basic preferences nailed down: how much adult content do you want to see? Do you have strong opinions about any of the official archive warnings? Do you want a ship, or gen, and if you want a ship do you want het or slash or femmeslash or lots of ships or whatever this fandom might have decided "other" means (usually it's tentacles)? Click the checkbox for whatever you want to include. EXCEPT. Keep in mind that the checkboxes work as an AND search, not an OR - that is, if you check both "M/M" and "F/F," you'll get only works that have both M/M and F/F pairings. Anything that’s just M/M won't show up, and vice versa. If you have multiple categories and you'd be okay with fics that match only one of those criteria, hold onto that thought for a while. (If, on the other hand, you only want fics with graphic violence and character death, this is where you'd go.)

Now you could just keep moving on, but I like to click Sort and Filter at this point, because the options it gives you in the next section are sorted by popularity, and sometimes you'll get more of the options you want when you set your base preferences. The screenshot on the left is the Fandoms, Characters, and Relationships filters with no other preferences set; the one on the right is with them set to Rating: Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply, and Multi. You'll see that some of those crossovers have dropped out, the characters have shuffled a bit, and several pairings are just gone.

From here, with these kind of numbers, I'd probably just pick one tag I'm interested in - do I want jonmartin fic, or Jon fic of any description, or oooh, hey, Sasha/Tim - select that checkbox, and go from there. But if you want something really specific, like only jonmartin fic in which Daisy appears, go for it. You don't have to change any of your earlier selections, just click those checkboxes and click Sort and Filter again.

Huh, that's genuinely more fics than I expected.

Now, if instead of having something specific you know you want, there's something specific you know you DON'T want, you have the next section: Exclude. This is relatively new, and it's magic. Don't wanna see Explicit fic? Banish it. Never want to read Major Character Death? Boom. Tired of Jon and only want fics where he doesn't appear? You can do that, too. These checkboxes do work on an OR search, which means you can check as many as you want, and if a fic matches any of the checkboxes you ticked, it won't show up in your search. If there's a pairing or a character you just cannot stand, you can exclude them, click Sort and Filter, and bookmark the resulting page. You'll see every new fic posted to the fandom tag except for the ones that include the thing you've already decided you don't want to see - you can just pretend it doesn't exist. It's wonderful.

There are some more neat options down at the bottom - got strong pro or con opinions about crossovers, or unfinished works? Got a few hours to kill and want something 10k+ to keep you busy? Hoping there's something written in your native language that isn't English? These options also exist, and they stack with the other filters as well, so you can filter only by crossover status or by rating and wordcount or by language and pairing, however you choose to combine them. (My favorite combo is Complete works only, wordcount from 10k (leave "to" blank if you don't need to set a higher limit), and exclude the fandom's most popular pairing. There's some good shit in that search in pretty much any fandom.)

Don't forget the sort! You don't have to see newest fics first; if you're still getting caught up on the canon, you can sort by oldest first and be careful never to read past the date you're caught up to. You can sort by word count to get the longest fics first or the shortest, by hits to see what people read the most, by kudos to see what the most people liked, by comments to see what gets the most interaction, by bookmarks to see...honestly I'm not sure what bookmarks indicate, but you can sort by them. Also by title and author, if you prefer an alphabetical organization for whatever reason.

Unfortunately there's not a good way to clear the filters, so if you change your mind about what you're looking for, you will have to go back and un-check the boxes you've selected before you do another search. Or you can just click on the fandom tag under the first fic in your results list; that will take you back to the main tag with no filters on it, which is what I usually do.

And there you have it: AO3's excellently curated filters, which allow you to curate your fandom experience. If that still isn't enough for you, there are some browser extensions you may want to look into (ao3 savior for tampermonkey; AO3rdr) that let you do even more customization, but those are tricky to use on mobile or if you're switching between multiple devices, so I prefer to rely mostly on AO3's built in tools.

If any of this isn't clear to you I am happy to answer questions! Note that I have nothing to do with AO3 personally other than having been a loyal user for 13+ years now, I'm just a librarian and a nerd for good organizational systems. And goddammit, AO3 is amazing.

#ao3 #archive of our own #i love a good database #fic #fanfiction #the magnus archives #(i wrote this for you but it applies to all fandoms)#long post #sorry everyone on mobile

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thinkingisadangerouspastime · 3 years

Note

Hi, I might be off base but I really like your fics and you give straight up answers to people, so I would like your take: What is the role of mediocre non-rarepair/non-Z.utara writers in ATLA fandom? (Not saying you are! I am, and I would like some clarity). I write sukka, kataang, and sometimes maiko. None of my stories really have impact. People read them i guess because they're there. I don't get on rec list. People don't do art of my stories. People don't beg me to update. (1/3)

firstly, im glad you like my fics! 💛

and now into the more serious parts of your ask.

my thoughts on the role of non-z.utara/non-rarepair writers (or pro-canon writers i guess we might call them?) are pretty simple: they are of the utmost importance. the richness of fandom is most apparent in its diversity, when you have a million different types of fics and authors and so much more that people can jump into and out of whatever, whenever they want. fandom needs all of its writers, regardless of what pairing (or lack thereof!) they're writing about. the atla fandom would be nowhere without it's canon and fanon lovers, plain and simple.

i understand your frustration. i have been on a rec list once for an mcu fic and nothing more. i've had fanart for one of my fics - one of my least popular ones, ironically - and i've only had one or two (but very lovely!) anons asking me about my wips (without me having sparked the discussion myself). it can absolutely be frustrating when you put your heart and soul into your work and sometimes it just doesn't get as much notice. your feelings are completely valid, and i think it's good you're addressing them (for me, personally, it is near-impossible to write when im holding a lot of frustration close to my chest; this may or may not be true for you, too, but either way it's always good to process emotions). sometimes you just gotta keep your chin up. simple, yes, but much easier said than done. and yet we persevere. i promise you, people don't just read your fics solely because they're there. people read them because they are interested in the stories you have to tell.

that person was definitely... callous. now, i don't think they would read your fic just because of a regular updating schedule (i've opened some fics that update regularly and realize it's not my cup of tea, so i leave and definitely don't go back even if they are updating weekly). the fact that they are coming back every week is a sign they're enjoying what you're putting out there! again, i think they did a pretty piss-poor job of wording it and your reaction is completely understandable (and i do not at all fault you for it), but i really do think the fact that they're continuing to read your fic is a good sign. they can claim it's your update schedule, but they must have a deeper emotional investment to your fic to keep coming back.

also, having a regular updating schedule is incredible. i know i sure as hell don't have one (except with one fic and that's bc it's already written lmao). so you should be proud of that, anon!

yes, i know, fandom tastes can be frustrating. it's true that beggars can't be choosers a lot of the time when it comes to rarepairs, and the absurd amount of attention that... well, basic z.utara fics often get compared to painstakingly researched moderately-popular pairings/relationships also drives me up the wall ("make out over a ham sandwich" is a hilarious example, btw, thank you for sharing it). sometimes you just gotta take a step back and think - hey. i cannot control fandom tastes. i cannot control what fandom likes and dislikes. all i can do is produce content i enjoy, and there are people like me who will eventually find my content and enjoy it, too.

anon, you're not a placeholder. and even if you were, aren't we all? aren't we all digging our own niche, holding our own place in a massive fandom? some people get luckier than others. that's how it works. people get lucky because they ship a juggernaut ship and they write a popular trope and boom - the fic may be a phenomenal piece of work or it may not be - 10k hits, 3000 kudos, 200 comments. it's luck! it really is.

my main advice is this: fanfiction is for you. it's for you to share. for you to connect with. for you to give to people who enjoy the same dynamics as you do. it should be fun! this isn't to say it won't get frustrating, especially because human instinct is to compare ourselves to others, but at the end of the day you should be writing fic (primarily) because you love doing it. and i promise you, anon, they are people who adore your fics and sit on the edge of their seat waiting for you to update. i promise. there are. i got a comment on chapter 20-something of one of my fics where they said they'd been reading since the beginning and absolutely loved my story but had been too nervous to comment. i have no doubt you have readers like that, too. and find your people, anon! i've enjoyed atla from the beginning, but recently i've made so many new friends who enjoy the same things i do (e.g. certain canon pairings) and we're able to gush over it with each other even when our comment sections are a little lackluster. fandom becomes much more enjoyable once you have a few people to freak out with.

in a more general sense, it's always okay to take a break from fic and writing if you need it, and im pretty sure you can turn off viewing story kudos and stuff on ao3 as well if you need a visual disconnect from that side of fandom.

i wish i had more advice or a perfect solution, but all i can tell you is to keep going. your work matters - it matters to you, it matters to your readers, and it matters to fandom as a whole. we are all wooden jenga blocks in a very, very precarious pile, and if even one person leaves, fandom collapses. we need every author, every artist, every consumer. and that includes you, anon. i hope that whatever you do, you continue to create in the manner that best fits you 💛

#amy answers #anon

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hazelandglasz · 4 years

Note

Hi dear, how are you? May I prompt a silly thing? I saw Magnum's commercial, so: Kurt and Blaine first met at the beautiful wedding of a couple of girl friends of theirs (idk why, but they never actually got to be introduced to each other before... and maybe they're the bridesmen? eh, what a coincidence!). Of course, each of them catches a bouquet... *wink wink*

Oooh

Link to the Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJXuDkmoFfc

I know it may sound tone-deaf to post a cutesy fic right now, but I feel like we need the levity and relief of just a moment spent in a different universe

I hope you’ll enjoy this little one :)

On AO3

Kurt is just so happy for Santana.

For all her brashness and hard exterior, he can’t think of anyone else who deserves a happy romance, and Dani certainly brings it for her.

They both complement each other so well, it’s uncanny.

And Dani fits so well into the group of misfits who travelled from Ohio to settle in New York, some days, Kurt feels like she was always meant to be with them.

As such, he thought he had met all of her friends, including the potential bridesmaids, bridesmen, and honorary person.

(His money was on Graced Lightning, if someone cares for his opinion.)

Though there is a name that has been repeated enough without Kurt being able to associate a face with the name.

But who is this Blaine? Where is she?

That is, until the rehearsal dinner.

Kurt is minding his own business, going down the stairs while arranging his cufflinks, when he spots someone standing in front of the mirror, fixing their outfit.

“Excuse me,” he calls. “Are you here for the Lopez-Ochoa dinner?”

The person turns on their heels and Kurt has to remember that he is an adult man now, not a teenager who can (and would) giggle when faced with a gorgeous man.

Because this, Sir, is a gorgeous specimen of a man, and what he was arranging in the mirror must have been his bowtie.

A bowtie which manages to both be elegant and pay homage to Dani’s profession, Kurt has to give the man kudos on this particular fashion jujitsu.

“I am indeed. I am Blaine.”

Ah. So Blaine is a he.

“The infamous Blaine,” Kurt says as he shakes Blaine’s hand (manicured, clean, soft. Kurt likey.). “I have heard so much about you, but I didn’t know…”

“That I was a man. Dani loves spreading confusion about me.” Blaine smiles fondly, much like Kurt does when he is faced with Santana’s idiosyncrasies. “And you must be Kurt.”

“Indeed,” Kurt replies, preening under Blaine’s gaze. “And whatever you heard about me is probably true to an extent.”

“To an extent?”

“Santana can exaggerate, and Dani tends to calm her, so. Overall, ya know.”

Blaine’s smile deepens, making his eyes crinkle.

It’s a testimony to how far gone Kurt is that he finds it adorable already.

They start walking around the corridors, and Kurt knows that it’s actually the longer way to the venue, but he can’t find it in himself to care. He’s walking side by side with a gorgeous man who has been giving him the Look™, and he will appreciate it for as long as he can.

“It’s a bit odd, isn’t it,” he starts, following his inner monologue.

“What is?”

“That we’re the best men in a lesbian wedding and we’ve never met each other.”

Blaine nods. “It is odd,” he replies, hands in his pockets. He truly exudes some old Hollywood vibes—really attractive and really inspiring—which Kurt really wants to appreciate in detail.

(Before messing it all up as he would ravish Blaine, but that’s for him and his mind to know.)

“In the past year, I have travelled a lot, I guess,” Blaine continues. “I kept in touch with Dani whenever I had a moment, though, and she let me crash at her place when I was back in town. But now I’m here to stay,” he adds, giving Kurt a sideway glance, “and I will not live with them as a married couple.”

“Wise. Trust me,” Kurt laughs, “you wouldn’t have handled living with them as an engaged couple.”

“Oh?”

“I know I didn’t handle it the most… gracefully, shall I say.”

“No, you did not,” Santana interrupts them, looking smoking hot, if Kurt may say so, in her three-piece suit. “But I forgive you.”

“How generous,” Kurt says in a deadpan, before pulling her into a hug. “You look amazing, ‘Tana.”

“I know,” she replies, brushing invisible lint from her lapel. She blushes as she does so, though, softening her statement. “Thank you. And you must be Dani’s Blaine.”

“You must be the love of my girl’s life,” Blaine replies, opening his arms and waiting for Santana to hug him.

She mutters something Kurt can’t decipher, but she still goes in for the hug. “She didn’t tell me her best friend was also her dad, though.”

“An old man in a young man’s body,” Blaine chirps back, making her laugh and making Kurt look down at the aforementioned body.

His glance doesn’t escape Santana’s attention, and he glares at her smirk.

“Now, come on, let’s get this rehearsal dinner over with,” she says, linking her arms with theirs to pull them along. “Dani’s nana is already hitting on the bar staff.”

“Leave her to me,” Blaine replies, patting Santana’s hand. “I’ll take care of her.”

“As in?”

“I’ll let her hit on me for the rest of the evening.”

“Cocky.”

“Knowledgeable. Nana Francesca loves to pinch my cheeks.”

“Which cheeks?”

“Yes.”

Kurt can’t help the roar of laughter that comes out at that cheeky reply. He doesn’t even notice when Santana leaves them alone to join her fiancée.

Where has Blaine been all this time?

Why didn’t Santana play matchmaker before?

Kurt mentally shrugs it off. What matters is that they do meet, doesn’t it?

“You’re…,” Blaine starts, beaming at Kurt before hesitating. “Um.”

“If it’s a compliment, go ahead.”

“You’re really beautiful when you smile like that.”

Kurt instantly runs his fingers through his hair to keep them from coming in front of his face. “Oh. Um, thanks. I usually… don’t.”

Blaine nods, like he understands what Kurt means by that, and maybe he does.

In which case, they have even more in common and why on Earth did Santana keep Kurt from his soulmate?!

“Come on, let’s take advantage of the bar,” Blaine offers, gesturing toward the already crowded section of the venue.

“Not planning on getting drunk tomorrow?”

“I’m a best man of honor,” Blaine replies, holding one hand to his heart. “I need to be at the ready to fulfill such a position.”

Kurt mentally goes through all the positions he would like Blaine to fulfill while, well, “at the ready,” but he quickly closes that file.

For now.

“And knowing Dani and her family,” Blaine continues, seemingly unaware of the depravation going through Kurt’s mind, “all she will need from me tomorrow will be to keep her mom and her nana away from the waiters. And the bar.”

“Which is a job that requires a full vigilance,” Kurt comments, observing the way the Ochoa women seem to be able to drink everybody under the table.

“Indeed.”

“As Santana’s best man of honor,” Kurt muses, “I guess my job will be to make sure she’s staying hydrated and she doesn’t get her hands on a microphone.”

Blaine looks doubtful. “You know they have a first duet planned, right?”

“What?”

“They rehearsed a song to sing as a married couple’s first duet, to surprise everybody who would expect a married couple’s first dance.”

“Oh Lord.”

“But Santana wouldn’t…”

“Oh she would.”

Blaine winces and Kurt nods. “You haven’t been around her much, have you?”

“Just every now and then, and she’s been perfectly nice.”

Kurt can’t help his snort. “Santana Lopez, nice?”

“In a rather delightfully brash way, yes.”

Kurt snatches two glasses of champagne and hands one to Blaine. “If you find Santana delightful, you’re definitely the man for the job.”

Blaine holds up his glass and clinks it with Kurt’s, a glint in his eyes. “Here’s to being the right men for the job.”

“Here, here.”

---

The rest of the rehearsal dinner is, Kurt must admit, quite a blur.

After a while, the waiter just leaves the tray of champagne glasses at the table Kurt and Blaine chose as their own, and they keep on talking all night long—they briefly pause when Santana’s grandmother and Dani’s father make their speeches, but otherwise, they only go their separate ways because both brides pulled them apart to go to sleep in the early morning.

Kurt can’t believe it took him this long to meet a man like Blaine. So perfect in his imperfections, so in tune with Kurt’s unspoken feelings and thoughts, so funny in a subtly dry way.

So handsome, too, especially at the end of the night when he untied his bowtie and left it hanging around his neck, two top buttons opened…

“Kurt, stop daydreaming about your man and come help me get in this dress!”

Santana’s call effectively wakes Kurt up from his fantasizing and he gulps down his mug of coffee.

“Don’t worry, ‘Tana,” he says, pulling down on the laced top of the dress to keep it in place in the back with tape, “nothing is going to go wrong.”

Santana takes a deep breath and looks at him in their reflection. “I know,” she replies softly. “Nothing can go wrong since I’m marrying my soulmate.”

The certainty in her voice makes something in Kurt’s chest tighten, but he brushes it aside.

Today is not the day to let self-pity take over.

Besides, who knows; today may end with a slow dance in the arms of a perfect man…

“Ready?”

“Ready. Let’s make an honest woman out of me.”

“Ha, as if!”

---

Kurt has not been to a lot of weddings, and he may be biased, but he has never seen a more beautiful couple of brides.

And Blaine looks even more scrumptious today that he did the day before, in his pink suit.

Dani really did a good job of finding a color to compliment Santana’s simple cream choice.

The pink and cream colors are everywhere in the reception, with some darker highlights to remind everybody that those brides are first and foremost badasses, including in the married couple’s bouquets.

Once Santana and Dani charm everybody with their “first duet”—an acoustic version of “Here Comes The Sun” with Dani playing the ukulele—Kurt can finally breathe and enjoy the wedding.

Namely, he can spend all of his time with Blaine.

Or watching Blaine smoothly taking the bottle of tequila from Mrs. Ochoa Senior’s hands and replacing it with tall glasses of cocktails that are more fruits than alcohol, without a word of complaint.

Kurt also enjoys the sight of Blaine’s blush when the same woman manages to spank him lightly as he passes by with a plate of mini cakes.

On his way to Kurt, oh my.

“Hey.”

“Finally taking a break from your bridesman’s duties?”

“Yep,” Blaine says, popping the last sound as he drops his whole body into the chair next to Kurt. As he puts the plate of pastries between them, the back of his hand brushes against Kurt’s wrist, and all at once, Kurt understands the woes of all the Victorian heroines. “In about, oh, ten minutes, they’ll throw the bouquets, leave, and I will have performed my duties as best I could.”

Kurt blames the numerous glasses of Moscato wine he kept on taking away from Santana and drank on the multiple things he would like Blaine to perform, hopefully on him, preferably on a comfortable surface, but he’s not picky.

“Ah yes, the bouquets,” he says instead, picking up a strawberry tartlet. “AKA the Hunger Games of bachelorettes?”

“Yep. Except Santana and Dani want us in the crowd.”

“No.”

Blaine snickers, looking down at his shoes before looking back at Kurt, his smile boyish and Kurt could kiss it off his face. “Something about gender stereotypes being fought on the battleground or something.”

“Eurgh.”

“Hey, it was yours, not mine.”

“They’re ours, now.”

The words come out of Kurt’s mouth before he can stop himself, and he can feel a panic rising in his chest.

Blaine’s smile softens as he cocks his head to the side. “I like the sound of that,” he says, voice barely above a murmur.

And yet, above all the mayhem and the music and the shouts, Kurt only hears him.

“Oh.”

“Come on, let’s stand with all these young people,” Blaine says, standing and offering his hand. “And then, hopefully, you’ll allow me to have a dance.”

“And then?”

“And then we will see.”

Kurt takes Blaine’s hand. “That’s a program I can get on board with.”

There is quite a crowd assembled at the bottom of the stairs of the venue, where Santana and Dani stand, already changed in their traveling outfits, but still holding their bouquets. Blaine squeezes Kurt’s hand before going to Dani’s side of the crowd.

“Ready?” Santana calls, peals of laughter and wolf-whistles answering her. “Alright!”

They both turn and in the same move, throw their bouquets towards the crowd.

Kurt sees it happening in slow motion, lifting his arms to protect his face from the hands and elbows going in his direction.

And yet, his fingers close reflexively around the thing that lands in them.

“Oh,” he says when he opens his eyes and sees the bouquet in his hand, Mercedes clapping her hands and Santana shouting like he just scored a goal.

Over the heads and the crowd, Kurt immediately looks for Blaine.

And finds him with a matching bouquet in his hand, looking as dazzled as Kurt feels.

“Oh,” he repeats.

When Santana passes him by, she pulls him in a hug. “Go get him, Tiger,” she whispers before kissing his cheek. “We can wait for you to get together before we start having babies so they can grow up together.”

“Cart and horses, Santana,” he replies, shaking his head as he kisses her and sends her on her honeymoon way.

Kurt shakes his head, but his imagination is already considering the color scheme that would best suit both Blaine and himself.

“May I have this dance?”

Blaine’s voice cuts through Kurt’s planning, and here he is, holding up one hand with one cream rose tucked behind his ear.

Kurt beams at him, before pulling a pink rose to mirror Blaine’s new attire. He hands over the bouquet to Santana’s little niece who apparently won Dani’s bouquet from Blaine already and who shrieks in delight when she gets his.

“Yes,” he replies, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck. “Yes, you may.”

Blaine puts his hands on Kurt’s back, and they stay slow-dancing there, on the grass in front of the venue where the party kicks back to life.

Not a bad way to end a stressful month, as far as Kurt is concerned.

And turquoise and purple would make for a wonderful wedding theme, wouldn’t it?

(It would, but Kurt won’t know for sure for another couple of years.)

_______________________________________________________________

(Should I add a small NSFW chapter?)

#sometimes i write #klaine au #dantana #wedding shenanigans #bridesmen #best #(you pick)#fluff

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sunlightdances · 4 years

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take my hand (when you can’t see the light)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader Rating: PG-13 for like, 2 swears. Summary: Dean plays the knight in shining armor when you meet him by chance. Turns out you’ll meet him several more times. Everything happens for a reason, right? Author’s Note: This was supposed to be posted on Valentine’s Day, but we all know how I am with deadlines. Have some fluffy Dean to make up for it. Last year’s Valentine’s fic is here, but is unrelated and you don’t need to read that to like this one! Please excuse any tense issues - I changed it back to second person after a read through, so there might be some errors. Please don’t repost my work on any other sites including Wattpad, AO3, or other archiving sites without my permission! I don’t own Dean, Supernatural, or any other related characters. I also don’t own “Forever on Your Side” by Needtobreathe, which I used for the title.

It’s freezing outside, and your car is running on fumes.

You curse yourself for not having the forethought to get gas a few states ago when it was relatively warmer, and it just adds to the irritation buzzing through your veins.

Pulling up next to the last available gas pump, you jump out of the car and swipe your card. The machine beeps, and tells you your card can’t be read. Your stomach drops when you try to think about how much money is left in your account. You swear you had enough to get through this trip.

You swipe again, and this time it says, please see the cashier. “Oh, fuck you,” you groan, and the person on the other side of the pump from you looks up, startled.

“Sorry, not you.” You mutter, and feel your face burning as you quickly turn away and head inside to figure out why your card isn’t working.

Inside, you give some sob story about driving across the country, but the teenager behind the counter clearly doesn’t care. You don’t blame him, but it doesn’t help your situation. That’s until a hand sneaks around you from behind and places a credit card on the counter.

“Put it on this one along with pump eight.” A deep voice says, and you stiffen when you feel a distinctly male presence at your back.

“You don’t have to do that--” You start to say, looking over your shoulder to see the man from outside behind you. He backs up a few steps and you feel like you can breathe again.

“It’s no big deal.” He shrugs.

“I have money,” you blurt, wincing when you realize how defensive and stupid you sound.

The corners of his mouth quirk up in an amused smile. “I’m sure you do. Just think of it as me paying it forward.”

The kid behind the counter has already run the stranger’s card through the machine for both of you, so you have no choice but to stand there awkwardly until he tells you you’re all set.

“Well… thanks.” You say, and turn to head out the door quickly, trying not to prolong this embarrassment more than you have to. You want to get back on the road and this is already a longer pitstop than you planned it being.

Once your car is filled up, you sit back in the driver’s seat and check your phone. Ten unread text messages that you delete without reading, five missed calls, and a notice from your bank that your card has been put on hold due to suspicious activity.

You groan - you never even thought to let the bank know you were taking a trip, you just hauled ass out of town the first minute you could. Didn’t even stop to think of the consequences. You can feel tears welling up in your eyes as you struggle to think what you can do - you have a small amount of cash but not enough to get you where you’re going. The bank is closed by now, so even if you call them you won’t get your card turned back on until the morning.

You have absolutely no idea what to do.

A gentle knock on your window brings you out of your daze, and your eyes meet a pair of bright green ones, twin pools of concern. He gestures for you to roll down the window, and you do, but only halfway. He’s a stranger, after all.

“Are you alright?”

You huff a laugh. “I’m the farthest thing from alright. But I’ll be okay. Thanks again for the gas, by the way.”

He smiles gently. “I know how that goes. And it was nothing, really. Here--” he holds out a to-go cup of coffee, “You look like you might need this more than I do.”

“Thanks…”

“Dean.”

“Thanks, Dean.” You take the coffee from him and when his fingers brush yours briefly, you feel it zip up your arm. So cliche. You sort of hate yourself for thinking about it. “I have to go,” you say quietly.

He clears his throat. “Sure, sure.” He looks down at his feet awkwardly. “Drive safe.”

You watch him go to the other side of the gas pump and get in a sleek, black car. You sigh to yourself before putting your car in drive and hitting the road.

You give kudos to yourself that you only look in your rearview once.

After Dean’s been on the road for a few hours, he realizes he’s following the same route the girl from the gas station is, and he feels like a creep.

You were cute, but he tells himself to stop thinking about you. You’re clearly going through something, and he’s never going to see you again.

Even so, he wonders what you were running from.

Physically shaking his head to stop himself from letting his mind wander, he calls his brother. “Any update?” He asks as soon as Sam gets on the phone.

“No change. How long until you’re here?”

“Six or seven hours if I don’t stop.”

Sam sighs. Dean can tell he’s tired, though he knows his brother will never admit it. “There’s no rush, Dean. We’re just-- waiting. Take a break, get some sleep.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “I’ll see you soon. Call me if anything changes.”

He tosses the phone in the passenger seat after he hangs up and pushes the image of Sam alone at a hospital out of his mind, and pushes it even farther away knowing it’s Jody they’re waiting on, Jody who didn’t even get hurt from a job, but was in a car accident.

Surgery went perfectly, but until she wakes up, they don’t know much else.

It’s a shitty way to spend Valentine’s Day.

He puts it out of his mind the best he can and concentrates on the road. That’s when he notices a familiar car on the side of the road, flashers on.

He frowns. He paid for your gas himself, so he knows you’re not out of gas. Unless something else is wrong with the car. Weighing it for a few seconds, he pulls over behind you, not too close, and tells himself to stop overthinking it before he gets out.

Her door is already open by the time he gets close, and he sends you a small smile when you notice him.

“I just want you to know I’m not following you,” he says, and then quickly continues, “and I know that’s exactly what someone following you would say.”

You laugh, but it’s a little watery. “You seem to show up right when I need help, though.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I-- the car is fine. I just needed to stop for a few minutes.”

He sees the tear tracks on your cheeks but doesn’t say anything, doesn’t want to do anything to make you more upset.

“Valentine’s Day really blows.” You say finally, and Dean laughs, your words echoing his own thoughts.

“Definitely.” Dean opens his mouth to keep talking but his phone rings, shattering the moment. “Sorry, hang on--” He digs his phone out of his pocket, seeing Sam’s name flashing on the screen. “Yeah?”

“She’s awake. Going to pull through.”

The relief Dean feels is physical. He lets out a sigh and the tension seeps off him. “Good. That’s-- kick ass, dude. Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He hangs up and looks back to you, an apology on his face.

“I have to go. If you’re okay…”

“I’ll be fine, Dean. Thanks again.” You say, a little sad maybe, but the sorrow that was on your face when he first saw you on the side of the road isn’t there anymore. You tell him your name, “-- by the way, just in case we run into each other again,” and then with a wink, you’re back in your car.

Dean is a little awestruck, but with another laugh to himself shaking his head, he gets back in the Impala and continues on, finding himself wishing the passenger seat wasn’t empty.

You make it across the state again before you stop for food. Only a bit of cash left, you decide to go to the closest grocery store and get something from the ready-to-go section instead of going the fast food route.

You feel a little better. You’re still getting texts and ignoring calls from your now ex-boyfriend, but you’re finding it easier and easier to press the reject button every time. Your heart doesn’t hurt quite as much.

Digging through your wallet for cash as you walk through the doors of the store, you run right into a solid mass of a person, an oof leaving your mouth as you regain your balance.

A rough voice says your name, and panic rushes through you before you realize who it is.

“Dean?”

“Now who’s stalking who?” He asks, tone light, corners of his mouth twitching.

“This is getting a little weird, dude.”

“You’re telling me,” he agrees, and your eyes shift to the flowers in his hand.

For some reason you feel a little bitter about it. It’s Valentine’s Day. Of course he’s buying flowers for someone. A guy who looks like that? Who buys strangers coffee and gas? Definitely not single.

“Late gift pickup?” You ask, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

He scratches the back of his neck with his free hand, “For a friend, yeah. She was in an accident. On my way to see her.”

“Oh,” you feel like a total jerk. “Sorry to hear that.”

“She’s going to be okay. But thank you.”

An awkward silence settles over the two of you, but this time it’s your phone that breaks the silence. “Oh, for fuck’s sake--” you say, pulling your phone out just to turn it off. You’re so tired of this.

“Someone special?” He asks, wry, and feels relieved when you laugh, even though it’s more distressed than anything else.

“Unfortunately.” You don’t know why, but you feel like telling him everything. You didn’t tell anyone before you left except your roommate, so she wouldn’t think you were murdered or something. “Came to my boyfriend’s to surprise him for Valentine’s. Turns out he found someone else to spend the day with.”

Dean winces. “What a dick.”

“I packed up pretty much everything I owned and just… left. I moved to that town because of him. I had my job because of him. I just had to get out of there.” You swallow hard, feeling like you’re going to cry again. “I have no idea where I’m going to go and my card got turned off. I’ve got a hundred dollars to my name.” You sigh, meeting his eyes. “Sorry - you have a friend literally in the hospital. I shouldn’t be complaining.”

Dean’s eyes are so intense as he takes in what you’ve told him. You wonder if he knows he’s got this effect on people.

“Come with me.” He says. He too, looks a little surprised.

“What?”

“You can stay with me. Since you don’t have anywhere else to go. I just have to stop at the hospital first, if you don’t mind going with me--” He shakes his head, “Sorry, I-- we don’t know each other. But I have a house, a big house, and there’s extra room if you need it. At least until you’ve got some cash again.”

You hesitate, of course - he’s a stranger. But-- something tells you that you can trust him, and you have no other options, really.

“Okay.”

Dean smiles. “Okay.”

This is probably, easily, one of the stupidest things Dean has ever done.

Sam is going to give him so much shit, but as he looks in his rearview to check that you’re still behind him, he can’t help but smile when you give him a little wave.

You pull into the parking space next to him at the hospital, and he gestures for you to follow him through the large double doors at the entrance.

Inside, he finds the room number Sam sent him, and knocks lightly on the door when he gets there.

“Dean,” Jody says quietly from the bed, her voice a little rough.

“Hi,” He says, grinning at her. “Glad to see you’re awake.”

“Sam said you drove all night to get here.”

“Was finishing up--” He stops, remembering your presence at his back, “-- a job. Otherwise I would have been here sooner.”

Sam clears his throat. “Got anything else you want to share?”

You snicker, and Dean bites back his smile. God, what is it about you that makes him feel lighter than he has in years?

“Hi,” you say softly, introducing yourself.

“She needs somewhere to stay for a few days.” Dean says, hoping his tone is firm enough that he’s not going to get shit about this from his brother.

After some small talk and a few pointed looks from Jody, she announces that she’s tired and that Sam and Dean should go get some rest. Dean turns to you.

“I’ll meet you in the parking lot,” you say, “too many hours on the road.”

Dean is the last one to lean in and give Jody a hug, and after a second’s hesitation, he grabs a single flower out of the bouquet he got her.

“Smart guy,” Jody whispers, and Dean rolls his eyes playfully.

You can’t believe this place.

This is where Dean lives. With his brother. This giant, amazing place.

You have a thousand questions, and Dean promised he’d answer a few, but more than anything you need to take a nap.

You do, and when you wake up, there’s a single red rose on the table by your bed.

Happy Valentine’s Day - DW

A giddy, schoolgirl-like feeling comes over you as you read the note, and you find yourself feeling excited and hopeful for the first time since you left your house in a heartbroken daze. It feels like years ago.

When you find your way to the kitchen and see Dean and his brother there waiting for you, near identical smiles on their faces, you start to think you could get used to this.

The unknown doesn’t feel as scary as it did yesterday.

#dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #spn reader insert

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noodlecupcakeswritings · 4 years

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Ownership - Chapter 2 (A Kylo RenxOC AU)

Cora Ardmore and Kylo Ren work for rival companies, but they don’t know that until after they spend the night together. Once their identities are revealed to each other it’s a question of who will cave first?

This fic is pure porn, pure kinky porn.

Please leave comments, kudos and reblogs if you like it. If you would like to be tagged let me know. You can find my AO3 here

Warnings: Language, Sexual fantasies, Dirty thoughts, Kylo Ren is a warning, No Cora in this chapter really

Chapter 2

Kylo Ren

I made it home around noon, parking the car in the garage. I picked up any mail on my way to the living room. Sitting down on the couch, I opened up my laptop and the browser. I typed in Cora’s name and searched the results. She’d been stupid enough to put her full name in when she gave me her number. I sat back in my chair, unhappy with the results that had come up. Clicking the first link, I was taken to The Resistances’ webpage. She worked for that left-wing bullshit publication?! She worked for my mother. Whilst I didn’t have much against the magazine itself it was still my mothers and wanted nothing to do with either. I’d made that very clear the last time we saw each other over five years ago.

This definitely threw a spanner in the works. Did I really want anything to do with someone that worked for my mother? Someone who worked close with her. Someone who probably shared all her views. Someone who was probably just as insufferable as Leia. I clicked on ‘The Board’ header, quickly scrolling past the section and image of Leia until I found Cora’s. I was met with a professional business styled photo of her smiling softly at the camera. I had to admit it was a good picture…or perhaps it was the subject matter. Those pretty green eyes were full of so much innocence. Her long black hair framed her dainty face nicely. She might have looked a little better if she’d put some makeup on though.

And her wardrobe could do with spicing up, blazers didn’t suit her. She’d look much more tempting in a button up blouse and pencil skirt. My eyes skimmed over the small paragraph about her, it didn’t offer much useful information to me. She’d been with the company for five years and worked her way quickly through the rank’s blah blah blah. I needed to think about my next move carefully and with a level head. Heading to my bedroom to change, I decided I’d go for a jog around the block. Exercise helped me think.

I’d been in the same position for the better part of four years and it was only natural to want more. I wanted to progress, I wanted total control of The First Order. But Snoke stood in the way of that, the old man wasn’t looking to step down anytime soon and even when he did there was no guarantee he would hand the company over to me. He trusted me for the most part, but I didn’t trust him anymore. I had at that start when I was younger and naïve but now there was an alarming number of red flags. Snoke had expanded the company to other countries, selling them weapons and security. But then he’d also started selling weapons to smaller terrorist groups, groups that could threaten the security of this country. It was a part of my job to ensure the safety of this country and its citizens.

There was also probably embezzlement and bribery. I’d kept quiet about it in order to keep my job so perhaps I was just as bad. However, if I wanted to expose him, I’d need evidence. And right now, I didn’t have anything that would hold up in a court. And then there was the issue of exposing him itself. If I were to do it, it had to be in a way that didn’t bring me backlash or worse. If Snoke had ties to terrorists, he probably had ties to other people that were just as bad. Snoke could likely make a person disappear if he wanted. He had no issue firing staff for the smallest of reasons. Thankfully I wasn’t the only staff member who wanted Snoke out of the picture. The head of Missiles and Fire Control, Armitage Hux was also on board. However, there were other heads of departments that we couldn’t trust. Mainly Tarkin and Krennic.

They’d been with the company since Snoke built it so the three of them were pretty close. I’m sure they had crimes of their own, but I’d find that out eventually. Suddenly it all seemed to click in to place. Cora would be my way of exposing them. The Resistance would kill for a story as big as this. And it would grant me safety once everything was out in the open. Even though I’d make sure they kept their source to themselves. It was just a precaution. The only issue was Leia. If she got really interested in the story, she could stick her nose in too far. But she’d have to know the basis to give Cora permission to run the story. It was a risk. And I was already risking enough.

If Cora breached my confidentiality, I’d breach her story. Besides I had no intention of it just being business with her. There was no reason we couldn’t mix business and pleasure. I’d given her my number for a reason. Now I just had more of a reason. I wanted to drag her into my world at full force. I wanted her for my own selfish needs and fantasies. I’d been looking for a new toy for a while and she ticked all the right boxes. It had been very obvious that night she had very little self confidence in her looks or in the bedroom for that matter. She had an innocence about her that I wanted to corrupt. I wanted to mark her as mine. And I would. I felt I’d made a good impression of myself last night and this morning. I’d turned up the charm for this exact reason. She’d be a fool to say no to me now.

I finished my jog, heading for the shower. I took a quick one, washing myself off and quickly going over my hair. I dried off and changed into clean clothes. My phone buzzed, the sound a little more muffled as it rested on the bed. It was nothing important, just an email notification. I brought up Coras number and wrote out a quick message before hitting send. I know who you are. Three dots appeared meaning she was typing. I waited, sitting on the edge of my bed. Cora And what? You're gonna threaten me now? That is what people say about you. Oh. So she'd done her research too. Clever girl. I should have expected it what with her job. It was her job and her nature to be nosey. Unfortunately I did have a reputation with my short temper.

I don’t threaten those I like. The three dots appeared again. She seemed like she’d be easy to wind up. Cora Well after discovering the truth, I’m not so keen on you anymore. Bullshit. If that were the truth, she wouldn’t have text me back. She wouldn’t have kept this conversation going. You liked me a lot last night. The dots appeared, disappeared and then reappeared again. They stayed on the screen for a few minutes and then vanished again. I smirked; she knew she couldn’t deny it. I decided to make this a little easier for her, she was going to a stubborn one. I liked you a lot last night and that hasn’t changed with what's come to light. That was mostly the truth. I was still determined to have her.

Cora Why would a man who is clearly pro war and god knows what else, be interested in me? A woman who works for a magazine who exposes criminals, who is anti-war, who is pro feminism? My line of work didn’t necessarily define my views. It just gave people ideas of my views. I’m not pro war, wars just happen to be very lucrative. So when are you free next? I was thinking we could do dinner. Cora I’ll pass. Shame. She’d cave in eventually though. I’d make sure of it.

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Over the next two weeks I went out of my way to text her every morning and evening. And every time she responded. She was playing hard to get and she was indeed stubborn. But if I really was bothering her, she would have blocked my number by now. I’d started to create a mental note or list of things I wanted to do to her when finally she caved in. I think first I’d have to tie her hands behind her back, put her over my knee and spank the stubbornness out of her. And if that still didn’t stop her smart comments perhaps, I’d fuck her throat until she’d learned her lesson. She’d look good with my cock down her throat, gagging on it with tears in her pretty green eyes.

It was hard no to get distracted at work with all these fantasies. Hux was starting to notice just how distracted I was. “Will you focus Ren? I can see your looking through me not at me,” Armitage snapped. I blinked, snapping myself out of my dirty thoughts and returned my focus to him. He was going over the latest project he’d been working on. Something called Starkiller. Hux sighed, knowing that he still didn’t have my full attention. “Something's bothering you,” he announced. “What? Nothing's bothering me.” “Normally I have your attention and you aren’t checking your phone every half an hour.”

I suppose I had been checking my phone more often than usual. No toy before Cora had ever held out this long, they would have caved within the first few days. But Cora’s stubbornness continued to amaze me. “I’m guessing it’s a toy that’s gotten you so distracted?” Hux asked. “Potential toy. She’s making this harder than it needs to be.” “Or perhaps she isn't as interested as you think?” “Trust me, she's interested.” “If you say so. But for now, I’d love your full attention.” As if to prove a point I made a show of turning my phone off and putting it on the table. Hux smiled and resumed going over his blueprints with me.

Taglist: @sweetfictionalworld, @belathora, @sweetsec-93, @cltex84, @momobaby227, @jana-banana-fana, @dark-night-sky-99

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twinkletoes-rp · 4 years

Note

6, 7, 19, 20, 30, 31, 32, 39, 40, 41, 43, 44, 45, 51 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Fanfiction Questions meme

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh, geez... I’ve been involved in so many fandoms, LOL. I don’t really know if I can/should name them all. I’ll give you the ones (ONLY OTPs - doesn’t mean I don’t ship other things, too) I can think of off the top of my head.

Kiba/Hinata (Naruto), Fakir/Ahiru (Princess Tutu), Stiles/Derek (Teen Wolf), Kirito/Lisbeth (Sword Art Online), Harry/Hermione (Harry Potter), Goku/Bulma (Dragon Ball), Yusuke/Botan (Yu Yu Hakusho), Todoroki/Izuku (BNHA), (better!)Bakugo/Uraraka (BNHA), Toph/Aang (ATLA), and Adrien/Marinette (Miraculous Ladybug)!

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

(This isn’t meant to be hate on the ships I name! I just don’t ship them, that’s all! Ship and let ship! ;))

Naruto/Sasuke (Naruto), Kirito/Asuna (Sword Art Online), Ron/Hermione (Harry Potter), Harry/Ginny (Harry Potter), Goku/Chichi (Dragon Ball), Yusuke/Keiko (Yu Yu Hakusho), Bakugo/Izuku (BNHA), and Aang/Katara (ATLA).

19. Is there a ship (in your current fandom) which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

I’m not sure I have a ‘current fandom’ since I live for, like, everything at once, but maybe technically Naruto would be it?

In that case (again, no offense to anyone - and removing the ‘I wish I could get behind’ part ‘cause I do not), NaruSasu. I just...don’t get it? At all? Maybe it’s the ‘what could have been’s or whatever, but when you just take the series at face value, that relationship is...really icky, at least to me, and that’s putting it lightly. It’s so damn unhealthy, especially for poor Naruto. They were never even friends, Sasuke always treated him like shit, and yet...?! *throws hands at half+ of OG series and virtually all of Shippuden* IDK, man. Something’s weird there, and I don’t like it. Can’t support that. Naruto deserves better, damn it. (*casually links her Naruto AU fic where he DOES get better (in more ways than one), TYVM*)

20. Any ships (in your current fandom) which you surprised yourself by liking?

Going with Naruto again, so. Hmm... I guess maybe Kankuro/Tenten? I didn’t even know that was a ship until a friend showed me a really good fic, and I was hooked! lol.

Another might be KakaObi, but only in AUs where Obito survives the cave in and gets out with Kakashi and Rin and recovers, continuing to be the sweetheart he is instead of the ass he turned out to be in canon. Because he, too, deserved better, damn it!

Another is one I might have made up, not sure (mostly in the context of my Naruto AU, NGL), lol: Karin/Shikamaru! It makes sense and there are lots of compelling reasons when you break it down! You know, 'cause Shikamaru would need (or probs at least prefer) someone on his smarts level, and she's a genius, too, just in a different way. And once she mellows out, Karin's really cool, and (in my AU) she grows to eventually adore Naruto (actually fights to defend/protect him in the Pein arc!), and anyone who loves Naruto is good in Shikamaru's book! lol. Plus, she can tell him when he has his genius brain twisted in too many directions, tell him he's being an idiot and help him figure things out in her different way. lol. IDK, I like it!

30. What inspires you to write?

I just...love writing?? I’ve wanted to be an author since I was 8-9 years old, started writing when I was 11, and I’ve been writing ever since! I’m 27 now! I’ve had a few dry spells, ofc, but I always end up coming back! I just feel like writing is in my blood (partly because, I like to joke, my last name is the title of one of Shakespeare’s plays, haha)!

Pretty much anything can inspire me to write, though. I’ll see a pretty flower and be like “OOH, that flower could feature perfectly in this chapter in this way!” and then write 1k about that! lol. Or I could read a review of one of my new chapters and end up thinking of something I’d never considered before and then write almost 3k on that alone (looking at you, middle section of Ch 6 of my Naruto AU, lol)!

Basically, if it sparks joy, I’m gonna write something! X’D

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

Nicest?? Hmm... I mean, I’ve had a lot of things said about my writing... Not sure I can really narrow it down? lol.

I guess the nicest things I’ve ever been told are when I make people cry (espec multiple times!) and actually feel the emotions the characters are feeling, that the characters and their development feel so real that it’s like they’re real people instead of fictional/they’re written so much better than the creator himself wrote them. (Been getting those a lot on my Naruto AU, actually. lol.)

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

I tend to prefer silence while I write, but sometimes, my house is loud and people keep breaking my concentration (house of 5, lots of animals, not the quietest, lol), I sometimes listen to music. I usually prefer instrumental, and then usually Naruto or Wolf’s Rain (sometimes Princess Tutu, too) instrumental tracks. The Naruto one I like best also has rain sounds mixed in, which is great because I love the sound of rain! Woo! (Here’s a link to that one if anyone else wants in on this! ;))

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Emotions and getting into the nitty-gritty stuff therein. As an extremely visual, emotional writer, I’ve always been able to feel the emotions of the characters pretty much exactly how they’re feeling it in the moment and then put it on paper. I also make people cry a lot with my writing and get them to feel what the characters do, so that’s awesome! It’s always my goal to get my readers to feel things because then I feel like they’ve really connected with the story and characters I’ve written!

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Transitions are dicks. Sometimes I struggle ‘cause it’s been, like, two seconds or five hours, and I don’t know how to show that, lol. If I can, espec with the last one, I just fade to black. lol.

Also, sometimes I feel like I use the same sentence structure a lot, mostly the ‘..., but...’ format (at least lately). It’s really annoying, and I worry my readers notice and get annoyed/think I suck because of it. lol.

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

“All the ways I say ‘I love you’” by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 (Fandom: Ninjago)

“Paradise Lost” by AnchoredTether (Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender (Zootopia-esque dark AU))

“where my armor ends” by dalniente (Fandom: She-Ra Princesses of Power)

“of cats and curses” by faerialchemist (Fandom: She-Ra Princesses of Power x Fruits Basket crossover)

“Mischief is its Own Reward” by dalniente (Fandom: Megamind)

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

I don’t really read Naruto fanfic too much anymore, so like...I guess, technically, another main fandom of mine right now is Fruits Basket, so: without a doubt, @kyosohmastan ! They’re my absolute favorite Fruits Basket fanfic author! Everyone’s so in character, the writing is so sweet and feelsy, steamy when it needs to be, and I really love the writing itself - it’s just so well done and beautiful and I die happily when they post a new fic or chapter? Ahhh! Plus, they’re just so nice and talented in so many ways, we have the same opinions on certain things (like Kakeru Manabe is Too Much(TM) for us, haha, no offense to those who like him! lol.), and I just really, really feel blessed to know and read their fics! Love them so! <3

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

I’m not sure which ship this is talking about? Hmm... But a ship I definitely think (have always thought) needs more attention is Kirito/Lisbeth from Sword Art Online! It’s so slept on, and that is a damn fucking shame because they’re so healthy and sweet and have so much more amazing potential than they’re given credit for (way freaking more than the actual canon couple, just sayin’, no offense to anyone who likes the pairing)! I have written a good few metas (and a fanfic) on the subject (some/most of which are on my Lisbeth RP blog, actually, lol)! If anyone wants to discuss/RP/anything involving this ship, please let me know! Would love it!

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

I’m not sure I have a favorite fic. But one that I always come back to (all of her (mostly G1) My Little Pony fics, actually - first found them when I was, like, 12, and have kept rereading over and over through the years, haha) is A Mother in Her Eyes by LoveLikeElena on FFN. It takes place in the author’s own MLP universe, but I love said universe so much, and her takes on the characters are amazing and so sweet! I love her look at the serious subjects that follow the characters through her ongong MLP series! <3

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Fanfic readers have become really, really lazy. No one reviews anymore, maybe leave a kudos here and there if you’re lucky (I have a major love-hate (more hate) relationship with kudos...), and it’s so, so, so discouraging to us writers! I wish they knew how it felt, to be honest, espec the ones you know are reading, but just...don’t comment. It’s ridiculously disheartening to work so hard on something for days, weeks, even months or years on something, only to get basically nothing in return. It’s like posting into the void, and it sucks ass. It’s part of what made me quit writing for a good few years, actually, and I’m so sad to see that it’s still a thing. I comment on everything I read because I know how it feels and how much it hurt! It hurts like hell, especially because I remember how it used to be just 6-8 years ago when everyone commented! I desperately pray the fanfic/content consuming world fixes that really soon or we might lose some really amazing writers! Please, even an emoji or keyboard smash! I don’t care, I’ll take anything (and I know I’m not the only one)! <3

#answer #dancibayo

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imagine-lcorp · 5 years

Text

To Be a Hero (Part II)

A/N: Hello guys, how is everybody doing? how’s work? school? the family? Doing good i hope, because in this imagine...Lena is definetly not okay...Sorry I turned this into an angsty fic, but you know sometimes you get ideas...Anyway please forgive the long wait! but i hope you like it and sorry again for the looooooong wait, i have a couple of request still pending but we are getting there! kudos to y’all beautiful beans <3<3<3

Lena Luthor & Metahuman Daugther R//Word Count: 1,717

- Part I - Part II - Part III -

The first time Lena ever held you in her arms she knew a few things right away. One, you were a pretty tiny thing, so fragile, that she couldn't fathom how it was possible for humans to be this little at the start of their lives. Two, you were going to be loved. After all, there was already a long line of uncles and aunts ready to fill you up with affection and she was, of course, already in love with you. Three, she would do anything in her power to make sure you were safe and sound, no matter what it took, and you were going to grow up a strong and fierce child. However, she never imagined just how strong and fierce her little girl would be, ready to take on the world, and she never imagined it was going to be the world the one to take on you. It was not the way your life was supposed to be.

Lena knew that much as she read the reports over your last mission, over and over again. The words slowly losing all meaning the more she stared at them trying to understand what had happened and why it was you the one disappearing from the face of the earth. The reports, however, were as clear as they could be.

She had received a call from the DEO while you were still having breakfast. You were trying to convince her to take you to the office since you had heard somewhere she was working on some old project involving nanotechnology you didn't want to miss it. She refused at first, not wanting you to miss school, but you complained saying the educational system in the country didn't work for you and you could learn more in her lab. Lena almost gave up as you displayed a pout she was sure Kara had taught you, even though she had denied it. But Lena didn't have time to yield at your adorable face when the sound of several explosions around the city made her stop dead in her tracks.

"Mom!" You shouted and ran towards her as the blast of a close explosion shattered the kitchen windows.

Lena barely had time to notice she was standing in the DEO bullpen with you by her side and it took her another moment to shake off her initial stupor.

"(Y/N)? Are you okay?" She turned quickly to look at you.

"I'm fine, mom." You said and turned your head to look around. "But what is going on?"

The whole department was already on the move, Alex and Winn were over the control room, giving orders and mobilizing unities around the city.

"Let's find out, sweetheart." Lena said as she moved towards the control room with you closely following her every step. "Alex?"

Alex seemed to be on edge, looking at the DEO screens and talking with someone over her comms, but she turned at the sound of her voice. "Oh, thank god you're here. I was about to call you. Are you okay?"

After assuring her you both were fine, Alex didn't waste any time and explained briefly that a threat from an unknown source had been made public. Winn displayed a video on his screen. Somebody, wearing a golden mask over their face and with a distorted voice, called upon the citizens in National City, they who let the city get infected for too long with the alien disease that put in danger the human existence. They proclaimed a bomb that would destroy the whole city had been placed in the hopes people would learn from their mistakes. Lena heard you said you recognized them as a Lost Son of Liberty.

Kara and Alex had told you about them when you joined the DEO and they were finally able talk to you about their jobs. Lena recognized them too, although she had knew them as the Sons of liberty and meet their number one fan. It had been a long time ago, before you had been even born. But even when the organization had been dismantled, those who still believed on that hateful speech were lurking in the shadows, not with the strength or numbers fear had given them before but a few they were still around and their message was clear. They wanted the city destroyed.

"...like the gardener, we will burn the field infested by briers and thorns, and false gods, so it will be healed and made anew-" The voice claimed solemnly.

"After the video was over seven bombs went off around the city." Winn stopped the video and showed a map of the city instead, marking the points where an explosion had been registered.

Lena and you watched in horror as one by one the points appeared on the screen. Those were locations Lena knew by heart as they were all schools, clinics and shelters with a large majority of alien population. Lena had organized and attended several charity events to help them and you had volunteered at some of them during summer.

"How can we help?" You asked. The determination in your voice, the serious expression in your face and the concern in your eyes, it all seemed to Lena like you had grown a little bit older.

Alex then continued to explain they had reason to believe they were hiding a much bigger bomb around the city. The destruction of those locations had been only to instigate chaos. If the Lost Sons of Liberty wanted to destroy the city, they would do it one way or another.

So their action plan was simple. Winn showed you another city map divided into several quadrants. They were trying to scan those areas as fast as possible with the help of J'onn and Supergirl to search for the bomb, as James and Maggie were already aiding the police department, keeping people from hurting each other on their own panic.

Lena teamed up with Winn in the control room, exploring every possible plan they could fathom to keep the people and the city safe. Finding the bomb before it exploded was first on the list and you were needed to help with that. You went to suit up and appeared a minute later, ready to go out.

"(Y/N), Kara and J'onn are done with these areas but we need a hand to do it faster." Winn explained.

"Alright. Do we know how much time we have?"

"No." Alex said plainly as she handed you your ear comms. "We don't have any clues as to when the bomb will go off so we need you to search as best as you can. Once you find it, we will be guiding you so you can dismantle it safely."

"Okay." You said trying not to let your worry show at the idea.

"Remember we're here looking for it too. If anything happens, you won't be alone out there." Lena reassured you.

"Don't worry, tootsie-wootsie." Said Winn with a grin. "We got your back."

Lena saw you take a deep breath and smile shyly at the silly nickname Winn had been using for you since you were a baby. She smiled too as she wrapped her arms around you and placed a kiss your forehead. "We got you, sweetheart." "I know, mom." Your mom's words helped you regain confidence and you took a moment before disappearing within an aura of energy, knowing she would be there with you whatever happened like she always did.

If only she had known that was the last time she would get to see you, she would have held you tighter and never let go.

Lena put herself on sentinel mood the second you left the building, rushing towards the panels and screens. Winn and the rest of the team were scanning the whole city in search of any clue that could lead to the bomb's location. She put herself to work too, pulling her own resources to speed up the search and following your every move around the city. She watched you on radar, passing from section to section in the blink of an eye.

However, as the minutes passed, Lena realized they had a ratter complicated task at hand. The Lost Sons of Liberty had been cautious and smart enough to hide their tracks that it was taking all of their efforts. This was a race against time and they had to be faster and smarter, and as it turned out, you were the fastest.

"Guys?" Your voice came over the comms.

"(Y/N)" Lena responded immediately, stopping everything she was doing at the sound of your voice. She looked for you on the radar but your signal was gone. "Where are you?"

Alex got closer to the screens. "We can't see you on the radar. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm downtown, uh, underground." Lena thought you started to sound tired. "I think...I think I found it."

"What exactly did you find?" Lena asked.

The bomb exploded about 1600 feet below sea-level across the Pacific Ocean. After the moment of detonation followed a shock wave of whitened sea water of approximately 800 feet in height. No damage was reported near any city or coast as the blast occurred at a distance beyond the reach of the 20-kiloton nuclear bomb, the report read.

"Lena?" She heard Kara's voice call her from her home office's door. "It is time."

Lena raised her head and nodded slowly. She stepped out of her chair, leaving the files reports above her desk with one last glance. No damage but one casualty, Lena thought with unshed tears.

As she walked with the procession towards the cemetery, she tried to put her feelings in little boxes like she used to. Otherwise, it would have been too much for her to bear. The soft wind so out of place, the silence filled with the sound of the bagpipe and its solemn and sad tune, the color black dressing every of her friends around, the empty casket she had to follow and watch as it was being buried. Only then a box opened without her permission. It was not the way your life was supposed to be. That much she knew, and she finally let the tear come down her face.

#lena luthor #lena luthor imagine #lena luthor imagines #To Be a Hero #Part II #request #lena luthor & daughter reader #metahuman!reader #metahuman reader #daughter!reader #daughter reader #luthor!reader #luthor reader

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hpconsentfest · 5 years

Text

Consent Fest 2019: Masterlist

CF friends--here we are. After months of prompting, creating, betaing, revising, reading, hyping, squeeing, and guessing, it’s time for reveals.

As with last year, the mods were staggered by the depth of thought and care and time and energy that everyone put into their creations. Likewise, we were heartened every time we saw a like, reblog, kudos, comment, or other hype.

Thank you to every creators and every reader and hyper for giving this fest such a wonderful, community vibe--you folks make CF.

Now, without further ado, read on for reveals!

ART

Title: Coming loose Artist: @owlpostart Prompt: #80 Rating: E Pairing: None Warnings/Content Notes: Lots of very pornographic NSFW drawings, internalised acephobia, unenjoyable sex, bite and blood fetish. Summary: Pansy Parkinson has a lot of sex. Until she realises that it’s okay to not want to. Medium: Ink and marker on paper

Title: Human, Not Object Artist: @nifflers-n-nargles Prompt: #23 Rating: Teen Warnings/Content Notes: Street harassment, cat calling, unsolicited touching, verbal harassment of a sexual nature, fighting back, defiant woman, powerful woman Summary: Fleur Delacour has endured harassment of all kinds from men from a young age. Growing up she’s told that’s “just what men do.” As a powerful woman learning to navigate the world she finds this mentality unacceptable and chooses to live her life defiantly. Medium: Digital

Title: Something they don’t want to be afraid of Artist: @impasseart Prompt: # 21 Rating: explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Internalized Homophobia, unenjoyable sex in a flashback See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco struggles with his internalized homophobia and fears, even when he really wants something. Last time, it went ugly. And ugly won’t do. They have to try again. Find a way to make it better. Medium: digital art

Title: Who They Are Artist: @spaceaas Prompt: #15 Rating: G Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: genderqueer/nonbinary character, minor transphobia that is more unintended ignorance than anything else Summary: Draco’s always known who they are. They’ve just been waiting for someone to listen. Medium: Digital

FIC

Title: All The Little Signs Add Up Author: @gold-from-straw Prompt: # 49 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Past domestic abuse, past child abuse Summary: Harry starts to notice some worrying signs in his relationship with Draco. He flinches when Harry moves too quickly, he thinks everything is going to be blamed on him, and he doesn’t think his own desires count. Harry, fresh from dealing with his own childhood PTSD, jumps to some conclusions. Some of them are right, some of them are way off. Word Count: 9624

Title: Blind Item #3 Author: @postjentacular Prompt: #88 Rating: T Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy Warnings/Content Notes: tabloids, right to privacy, forced outing, homophobic slurs, rated T for swearing, british sixteen year old talking about sex, blink and you’ll miss it threat of sexual violence Summary: What’s the ssssecret doing the rounds in a certain common room? Rumour has it that the other snakes have been turning a blind eye to this burgeoning love affair, but what will the boys’ fathers say when they hear about it? Word Count: 7064

Title: Blood Will Out Author: @frnklymrshnkly Prompt: # 87 Rating: T Pairing: Marietta Edgecombe/Pansy Parkinson Warnings/Content Notes: menstruation, PMS, endometriosis, heavy bleeding, cramps, intense period pain, Healers, doctors, hospitals, exams, critique of Healing and medical institutions, family secrets, memory modification, horrible parenting, blood status discourse, self-reflection redemption arcs See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Marietta Edgecombe doesn’t need re-education. She’s done nothing wrong. She just wants to keep her head down and keep her job. At least until Pansy Parkinson starts acting weird and a visit to the Healer suddenly brings the post-war conversation too close for comfort. Word Count: 21565

Title: Capture the moment (Capture my heart) Author: @all-drarry-to-me Prompt number: 24 Rating: Mature Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Asexual Draco Malfoy, Demisexuality, Queer Character, Brief mention (from previous encounter) of Mildly Dubious Consent, Photographs, Minor Luna Lovegood/Pansy Parkinson, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley Summary: Surrounded by photographs with just a cat to keep him company, Draco was left questioning his identity and what a new label would mean for his relationship with Harry. Word Count: 9,612

Title: Curry & Wine Author: @dorthyanndrarry Prompt: # 35 Rating: Mature Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Mentions of main character being pressured to have sex in the past Summary: Harry’s promised Draco their first proper date. What could be better than homemade curry, a little wine, a much-needed talk? Word Count: 1,651

Title: Epoximise Author: @ladderofyears Prompt: #10 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Consent Notes: Press and Tabloids, Dom/Sub Play, Sub Harry Potter, Dom Draco Malfoy, Sex Magic, Kink Spells, Coming on Demand, Dildos, Magic used as a Restraint, Panic Attacks, Discussion about Consent, Discussion about setting Ground Rules before Sexual Activity, Discussion about Safe Words, Sexual Triggers. Word count: 2487

Title: Forbidden Fruit Author: @momstiel Prompt: # 15 Rating: Teen Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Internalized Homophobia Summary: “To Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter had always been akin to forbidden fruit.” In which Harry comes out as genderqueer, and Draco envies his self-confidence. Word Count: 1,907

Title: The Generation Who Lived Author: @lettersbyelise Prompt: # 11 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Journalist Draco Malfoy, Enemies to lovers, Past relationship, Getting back together, Minor Luna/Neville, Minor Ginny/Blaise, Interview format, Post second war with Voldemort, Enthusiastic consent, Rimming, Anal sex, POV Draco Malfoy Summary: In the months leading up to the 10th anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy writes a series of articles about famous war survivors.

So far, he’s managed to interview everyone he wanted.

Everyone…except his old nemesis, his one-time lover, and the elusive war hero who stubbornly refuses to be featured in Draco’s interview series, Harry Potter. Word Count: 14761

Title:I See You In The Club Author: Elle Gray (LGray) Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/OMC Warnings/Content Notes: Sex club, Dom/sub play, Light Bondage, Age difference, Consent Issues, Dubious Consent due to Identity Issues, Ruminating on the Topic of Consent See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco, recently divorced (for the second time) is finally free to explore ‘other interests’. In particular, reconnecting with some long-put-aside desires to play with dominance. He’s not confident in what he’s doing, but he’s done his research, and surely this delectable young thing, kneeling in wait for him, can help?

'Hello,’ he says, and feels immediately stupid.

'Hello, Sir,’ Alex says, his voice low, barely above a whisper. Draco wonders if it’s an effort to sound sexy, or show submission, or if his throat is so well-fucked by others that he can no longer talk. He doesn’t even know if it matters. Word Count: 12909

Title: Knights in Shining Armour (Ever After Lovers) Author: @thirdeyeblinkings Prompt #: 23 Rating: M Pairing: Bill Weasley/Fleur Delacour Warnings: No major archive warnings See tagset on AO3 Summary: Fleur has been objectified for most of her life, her bodily autonomy often dismissed. Being part Veela only makes matters worse. Word Count: 8.6 k

Title: Like The Sun Author: @marlenemckinn Prompt: #78 Rating: T Pairing: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black Warnings/Content Notes: Unaware Veritaserum consumption See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Sirius wants a good laugh and when he comes across some Veritaserum, he decides slipping into Remus Lupin’s, the ever guarded werewolf, pumpkin juice will be a great way to start their day. Remus ends up revealing a bit more than Sirius had anticipated. Word Count: 4033

Title: Lily Luna, Unapologetic: The Things We Don’t Talk About (But Should) Author: @nifflers-n-nargles and @slashfoxes Prompt: #39 Rating: Hard T Pairing: None Warnings/Content Notes: Implied Dubcon/Noncon, Offscreen Dubcon/Noncon, Implied Violence (offscreen), Implied vs Explicit Consent, Consent Issues, Teaching Consent, Sex Education, Peer Pressure, Harry Potter Next Generation, Badass!Lily Luna, When Internet Meets Magic, Alternative format: magazine profile Summary: “Before I can get my first question out Lily asks me, ‘When was the first time someone gave you a sex talk?’I find myself telling her about overhearing my mom in my older sister’s room when she was home on hols from Hogwarts in her fourth year—I was 10 and had just received my letter. It was the year there had been a string of love potion ‘accidents’ and I could tell my mum was worried.

She nods and jots something down in her notebook. As I continue telling her about these memories, I wonder why I’m sharing all this information with Lily. Aren’t I the one supposed to be interviewing her?

‘That sounds awful,’ she commiserates, ‘but can I ask you one more thing?’ I nod, curiosity piqued by her tone. ‘When was the first time someone talked to you about consent?’” Word Count: ~8,000

Title: Long live the beautiful heart (who find love and tear it apart) Author: @etalice Prompt: #46 Rating: GEN Pairing: Ginny Weasley/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Angst, Depression, Abusive relationship See full tagset on AO3 Summary: If Harry were someone else, someone who loves and understand books, someone like Hermione or Draco, he might think of a classical tragedy. He might section the whole catastrophe neatly into five acts and make sense of it that way. But he’s not, and so he doesn’t, and, anyway it’s just the beginning of the story yet. Word Count: 6630

Title: (Never) Be Still My Beating Heart Author: @sliceosunshine Prompt: Self-Prompt Rating: M Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Trauma, Violence, some blood, Vampires, Light Dubcon Parallels, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, further explanation of dubcon tag in A/N See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Post-War, Draco decides he’s done being comfortable. Which turns out to be quite convenient as he’s thrust headlong into a case involving a Serial Biting Vampire. Worst of all, Potter’s gotten himself involved. Draco thinks he can take it, so long as his heart doesn’t give out on him along the way. Word Count: 15595

Title: a note to the boy I love Author: @violetclarity Prompt: # 81 Rating: E Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy Warnings: Underage See full tagset on AO3 Content Notes: epistolary, first person POV, established relationship, school romance, communication, consent, sexting except in letters because they are wizards, underage in that they are both seventeen (17), first time, loss of virginity (but that’s a social construct anyway), letter writing, dirty talk (sort of), vignettes, kissing, frottage, dry humping, oral sex, love confessions, boys in love Summary: Albus knows what he wants to do in bed with Scorpius, but struggles with actually talking about it. Scorpius’s solution? Writing letters. Word Count: 4,359

Title: A pink tie, a box of condoms Author: Barry_Manilows_Wardrobe Prompt: 52 Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: See tagset on AO3 Summary: It had been months since they’d last seen each other. And if Potter didn’t show up soon… Word Count: 1459

Title: One and Only Author: @nerdherderette Prompt: # 20 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Draco Malfoy Warnings/Content Notes: Bodyguard AU, Bodyguard!Draco, Minister for Magic!Harry Potter, Pansexual Albus Potter, Potions Accident, Forced Bonding, Sharing a Bed, Legilimency, Explicit Sexual Content, Masturbation, Frottage, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Bottom!Draco Malfoy, Age Difference, Implied/Reference Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Prostitution, References to Addiction, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Eventual Consensual Relationship, Romance Summary: Draco always knew his downfall would be at the hands of a Potter.He just never realised which one. Word Count: 19.6k

Title: Risks Worth Taking Author: @keyflight790 Prompt: 83 Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Light BDSM, Dubious Consent, Mildly Dubious Consent See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco and Harry broke up 78 nights ago. Only a miracle (or perhaps an errant spell) could bring them back together. Word Count: 18,149

Title: Ron Weasley and the Clothes of Doom Author: Liesha130 Prompt: #86 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Blaise Zabini/Ron Weasley Warnings/Content Notes: (I honestly don’t know) Summary: Do the clothes make the man?Ron Weasley thinks he has no chance, until one night when he dresses up and Blaise Zabini can’t take his eyes off him. The solution is easy, then, right? Ron just has to keep dressing up, and Blaise will keep wanting him. But every time Ron puts the new clothes on, he’s sent spiraling off into a past filled with insecurity. Will he really be able to keep this up without going completely bonkers? And what does Blaise actually want from him, anyway? Word Count: 32,872

Title: Safe Words Author: @e-sebastian Prompt: # 47 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Consent, BDSM, Bondage, Whipping, Safe words, Safe Sane and Consensual, Kink, Family Drama, lots of book reading, Dirty Talk, Slapping, Kink Negotiation, Rough Sex, Accidental Bodily Harm, Remorse, Weasley Bashing, Molly Bashing, but please know it’s from Draco’s admittedly skewed perspective, In this house we love Molly Weasley to death even if our characters don’t always, Married couples are kinky too Summary: Draco discovers his husband has been keeping a secret from him. At first he’s amused. Then he’s curious.

The problem? Harry’s always had a hard time saying no. Word Count: 26,867

Title: Sex Ed for Witches and Wizards of All Ages Author: AhaMarimbas Prompt: # 68 Rating: E Pairing: Multi-ship Warnings/Content Notes: Major Character Death, Underage, Explicit sexual content See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco and Astoria decide on their wedding night that they’re not going to raise their future children with the same outdated traditions they were raised with, especially relating to love and sex. They never could have predicted exactly how much that decision would change Scorpius’ life. Word Count: 76 732

Title: So sweet with that blood in your teeth Author: @bangyababy Prompt: # 16 Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Dom/Sub, Consent issues, vampires, sleep issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Mind manipulation, depression See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Harry works for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. His latest case his to stop a vampire uprising lead by none other than Draco Malfoy. Malfoy seems willing to negotiate with the Ministry. There’s just one small condition: Harry has to agree to be Malfoy’s dinner. Word Count: 25k

Title: swallow your words Author: @candybarrnerd Prompt: # 67 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: No archive warnings apply Summary: The truth is, not many things are known about the magic that is behind soulmarks. They’ll turn up when they want and not before.

The truth is, you don’t get a choice in your soulmark. The truth is, not everyone is okay with that. Word Count: 9,140

Title: That’s Ace Author: @acciotomriddle Prompt: Self-prompt Rating: Explicit Pairing: Charlie Weasley/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Asexual character, bisexual character, sex toys, non-penetrative sex, mutual masturbation, monogamy Summary: Charlie is asexual. Harry isn’t. They still find a way to satisfy both of their needs, however Word Count: 2080

Title: They Talked Author: @unadulteratedstorycollector Prompt: Self-prompt Rating: Teen Pairing: Ron & Draco (platonic) Warnings/Content Notes: none Summary: Is it ok if they talk? Draco isn’t sure, but it keeps happening. Word Count: 1094

Title: This Year’s Love Author: @thusspoketrish Prompt: Self-Prompt. H/D—how to navigate feelings for your best mate. Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: This story discusses complex topics such as slut-shaming, promiscuity, heartbreak, dating culture(s), and sexual autonomy within everyday life. See full tagset on AO3 Summary: This year’s love had better last, heaven knows it’s high time when you try to make lovers from friends. But Harry Potter realises time and time again that it’s simply not possible for him. And then along comes Draco Malfoy— the ultimate foe on the mend. Whatever will become of them? A story about love. Word Count: 84000

Title: A Touch Of Respect Author: @rose-grangerweasleyisbae Prompt: #90 Rating: Teen Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Family Drama, Touch Phobia, Panic Attacks, Old Fashioned Parenting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Past Minor Character Death (Astoria), Past Ginny Weasley/Harry Potter, Child in Hospital Summary: Five year old Scorpius isn’t fond of people touching him, and he has a million reasons for it. However, his father is of the opinion that just saying ‘no’ should be enough without giving any of those reasons, but not everyone in his new-found family agrees. Word Count: 23.432

Title: Unconditional Author: @ladderofyears Prompt: #32 Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy Warnings/Consent Notes: Anxiety, Boys in Love, First Boyfriend, First Kiss, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Feelings of Inadequacy in a relationship, Discussions of Pyschological and Emotional Manipulation, Relationship Discussions, non-consensual touching, Scorpius gives good advice, Mild Bigoted Language to describe Asexuality, Discussions about Healthy Relationships, Demisexual Albus Potter, Awakening Feelings of Desire, Eventual happy Ending. Word count: 7277

Title: The Way Your Heart Touches Mine Author: @bafflinghaze Prompt: # 56 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: N/A Summary: What does it mean when a certain someone gives you numerous gifts on ordinary days? Harry’s kind of sure (and mostly hoping) that Draco likes him. So why hasn’t Draco asked him out yet? Word Count: 3.9k

Title: The Words that Pass Between Us Author: @elderxprice Prompt: # 28 Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: POV Draco Malfoy; Invasion of Privacy; Loss of Trust; Infidelity; Misogyny, Classism, Unredeemed Draco Malfoy, Verbal Abuse of a House Elf Summary: Sometimes, Draco draws pictures of what could have been, had he made all the right choices: Draco in the Slug Club; Draco holding the Quidditch World Cup; Draco holding hands with some nameless, faceless person whose become some sick, secret sort of friend. He’s on every page Draco has touched. He flies with him, sleeps with him, laughs with him. And sometimes, if he pretends hard enough, Draco swears he can feel this person’s breath against his neck; a whispered I love you that has him pressing into the mattress every night, only to wake up alone wishing it were real. Word Count: 10,047

Title: Working Out The Kinks Author: @potter-loves-malfoy Prompt: #18 Rating: E Pairing: Jeddy Warnings/Content Notes: Mild Dom/Sub Elements, Mild DubCon See full tagset on AO3 Summary:

There are three things James Sirius Potter is certain of:

One: He’s loved his boyfriend since he learned what romantic love was;

Two: There is nothing James wants more than said boyfriend to pound him into the mattress;

Three: His boyfriend, Teddy Lupin, can never find out about number two.

—or—

Four times James tried to pretend he wasn’t submissive and the one time he didn’t.

Word Count: 6,247

Title: You Set My Soul Alight Author: @parkkate Prompt: #13 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Post-War, Auror partners, case fic, enemies to lovers, mystery, romance, adventure, pining, getting together, forced proximity, bed sharing, banter, UST, loss of virginity, first time, dub-con, consent issues, secrets, misunderstandings, miscommunication, sleep talking, frottage, rimming, face-sitting, intergluteal sex, anal sex, switching, blow jobs, fluff, angst, angst with a happy ending, references to suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced child abuse, references to depression, mental health issues, emotional hurt/comfort, minor character death, arguing, reconciliation, ewe Summary: Students are going missing at Hogwarts, but that’s not the only mystery Draco is determined to solve. Something’s going on with Potter. He can deny it all he wants. Draco is going to find out what it is. Unfortunately, trying to get to the bottom of it has some unexpected consequences and if Draco isn’t careful, he’s going to jeopardise their mission. Word Count: 54k

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hopevalley · 5 years

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I just want to thank you for keeping this public. I have promoted you on Twitter and will continue to do so. I want to help in any way I can.

I debated all morning on how to reply to this. I know this is reference to Melinda making her blog private for Tumblr users only, and I think it’s important for me to express my opinion on that situation.

But first: thank you for the Twitter promotion! I have a Twitter account, but I admit I rarely use it (because I find it confusing to use lol). It’s @july_skies !

Regarding Melinda’s decision to privatize her blog: I support it. She works hard on her content and deserves to feel that people who like it will be capable of supporting it in a direct way (reblogs specifically). Nothing sucks more than making stuff and seeing that nobody’s looking at it or enjoying it, and whether or not that’s what it seems like to (general) you, that’s how it comes across when people don’t reblog her stuff. It’s depressing. It’s like she’s throwing her hard work right into the void.

While I’m on the subject, I’d like to talk about content creation a little more, to help give you guys a better idea of fandom and your place as a consumer of fanworks; I know a lot of you might be new to the concept, and you can’t know if nobody thinks to tell you.

For my “credentials,” let’s just say I’ve been a content creator for more than half my life and there’s something we lifers call fandom participation or fandom engagement. They are more or less the same thing, and the terminology boils down to us answering this question: “How is the fandom at large engaging with our content?”

In the last handful of years, participation is down across the board. When I first got into writing fanfiction I’d get at least 40 comments on anything I wrote. Many of my works ended up with 60+ comments on them!

Now I’m lucky if anyone comments at all, especially in this fandom. Again, it’s a problem everywhere, but I still get comments on fanfic I posted five years ago in other fandoms; meanwhile, this one remains relatively silent.

I post on AO3 for two big reasons. 1) ACCESSIBILITY. AO3′s site layout is easy to read! It’s easy to format! It’s friendly to people with issues seeing small print! And then we have 2) I do it to give people the option of commenting anonymously (in case they’re shy or nervous).

Having an account there isn’t required at all. People just choose not to engage with me when I post fanfiction.

It feels bad to spend hours of your time on something only to see 0 notes/comments/likes/reblogs/whatever on it later. Four ‘likes’ doesn’t feel that good either. Did people actually like it? Are they pity-likes? Do they even care? People mindlessly ‘like’ a lot of things; maybe they did that with your content, too. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy seeing ‘likes’ but a ‘like’ is more or less an acknowledgement that they’ve seen the content, not that they enjoyed it or want more of it.

Also, likes/kudos don’t draw in more readers: comments do. When a reader’s scrolling down the front page of their favorite AO3 fandom, they click on the ‘fics that look like they might be ‘good’ and even though it’s not always TRUE that the ‘best’ stories have the most comments, a lot of readers filter by the number of comments!

Comments tell other readers: this is worth checking out!

Let’s look at a quick example of one of my ‘fics:

This is from my AO3 account, a random WCtH fanfic. It’s not a long one, but it’s not short either. It’s a reasonable read in terms of time spent to read it, and as you can see 185 people clicked on it, 14 people ‘liked’ it (kudos are “likes”), and I have two comments: one of those comments is @trash-god and the other is me replying to her comment.

Her comment isn’t ‘less than’ because she’s a close friend, but she and I spoke at length about this story on Discord and her comment was just a nice little ‘addition’ to that conversation. Sure, the story’s about characters not many people care about, but look at that: 185 hits on the story. 14 likes. And only one person who read it took five seconds to leave a comment? Really? What about the 13 other people who ‘liked’ it?

What this says to me as a creator is that the ONLY person who is going to comment is the one person who might feel obligated to, and if that’s the case, why don’t I just save my stories to show her privately? Why bother posting them out into the void to hear nothing but silence from everyone else?

This is the direction that @whencallstheheart is coming from. What’s the point of spending hours creating these things when nobody interacts with you? Posting to silence feels bad. And look, to put it into perspective, editing gifs to post, writing fanfic, doing write-ups, maintenance of a blog, site, or social media presence: it’s super time-consuming.

Melinda and I both work full-time jobs as it is. My job hit full busy season and I’m even getting overtime now. I’m in training to take over the department next year and I’m tired at the end of the day. When I get home I have eight cats, a house to take care of, and a spouse, not to mention my in-laws live right next door and need help sometimes. We also have a property we just planted 1500 trees on by hand that we have to monitor, and my husband owns a house we rent to someone that needs work done on it, too. Sometimes, life is busy.

And don’t get me wrong! I enjoy creating, just like I’m sure Melinda does. I feel awful if I can’t “create.”

But if my choices are:

work for five hours on a fanfic or episode write-up only to get 4 likes on it, OR

play a video game or watch a movie or read a book or sit on the deck watchin’ the sun go down while I work on a crocheting project…

The latter definitely appeals to me more knowing I have to get up in the morning to go back to work again. My time is worth something. Neither Melinda nor I are getting paid to create this content. We put it together for free, in what spare time we have, in the midst of our own chaotic lives. My website costs me a chunk of money every year to keep up and running ad-free, and I could get all 1500 trees weeded in the amount of time it takes me to put together an episode write-up or decent fanfic.

All content creators ask for in exchange for their free labor is a sense of community, and that can be anything from:

comments on fanfics you enjoyed, even if they are just to say, “I read this and enjoyed it.”

messages that say, “I really like how [this edit you did] turned out.”

reblogs on Tumblr, retweets on Twitter, emails to website owners

you can even create your own blog and use it to begin conversations with those creators!

You guys have been pretty good about engaging with the show itself through us, but don’t forget to engage with the content you enjoy seeing that comes about because of the show.

Fandom content keeps the show alive even when it’s not currently airing, and supporting content creators keeps them creating. Everyone wins, then!

To talk specifically about written content...

Readers are the ones who ensure more material is created. Hands down.

And again: I love writing!! I DO. I’ve been writing seriously for more years of my life than I haven’t been writing seriously! But it’s disheartening to post a fanfic and get my one obligation comment.

Now, it’s fine if you don’t read fanfiction or even enjoy it. It’s also fine if the things I’ve posted aren’t to your specific tastes. Trust me, I get it; nobody is obligated to comment on my fanfiction, and I don’t want anyone to feel that they should be.

But please know this: if you do enjoy something, whether it’s fanfic or edits or something else, you NEED to engage with it, or it WILL disappear. People don’t like talking to walls. It’s frustrating and it isn’t a good use of their time.

(This is one of the reasons I haven’t bothered doing a novelization of the series. It could be fun, but for 0 comments it’s not worth spending the time on.)

Again, you guys have been great when it comes to engaging with the show material, particularly while the show is airing. It’s been fun speculating with you and hearing all of your different thoughts. I know sometimes Tumblr doesn’t make it easy to communicate, either, and you’ve all done a great job of getting around that.

But in between seasons things get slow on this blog and it’s hard for me (or anyone running a blog) to feel motivated to provide content of any sort if you’re not going to take the time to engage in it.

I’ll never mark this blog as private, but if I get to the point where I can’t get any engagement from the fans, I’ll shut it down. The point of having a “fandom blog” is to interact with other fans.

I enjoy providing content to you guys, but if participation drops off to nothing, I’ll be taking that as my signal that the audience is gone and my time would be better spent elsewhere.

So if you’re here and you’re enjoying things, don’t forget to take a little time out of your day to let your content creators know! Not just me and Melinda, of course, but your favorite people on Instagram, Twitter, and other sites as well. ♥ You might be surprised how happy they’ll be to receive interaction from other fans.

And another plug for fanfiction, because 1) they always get the short end of things considering how hard it is to amass the creative energy necessary to tell a good story, and 2) I noticed it’s the #2 page on my website getting visited: if you’ve enjoyed anything you’ve read for When Calls the Heart, tell the author! Here’s the section for WCtH on AO3! Is English not your native language/you’re not confident in your ability to write English? No worries! I’ve gotten many thoughtful comments in other languages and from people who spoke limited English, and trust me: I treasured every one. If you’re just not sure how to comment on fanfic, send me a message and I’ll give you some tips!

I don’t intend this as a slight against my anonymous friend up there AT ALL; I think it can be hard to be in fandom, especially if you’re newer to the scene. There’s a lot of history that’s long gone by now and missing out on it means it’s harder to step into fandom without also accidentally stepping on toes.

Sometimes we take for granted that we have an almost unlimited supply of fanfiction, gifs, memes, blogs, and so on at our disposal. But none of that comes from thin air and it never did. It’s the cumulative hard work of millions of people throwing their hearts and souls into something they’re passionate about in an effort to engage with other fans.

I hope this helped put things into perspective a bit!! Sending love at all of you that stuck around this far; I know it was quite a bit of a ramble LOL!

#when calls the heart #anonymously asked #answered mail #thank you for the kind comment but here's my perspective #in the hopes that you'll understand melinda's a little more #the lack of engagement gets me down too tbh #if i felt people would comment on and want to talk to me about #a novelization i'd start writing it tomorrow

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unicornsandphoenix · 5 years

Text

Blog Birthday??!!?!!?!?!

Helloooooo alll! So not only is today my wife’s birthday (I keep saying wife and I feel like someone is gonna believe it too much someday?), but also! It is my blog birthday!!!!! Fucking shit you guys! Happy birthday to this blog! Some cool facts about this blog:

1) Today, it is 1 year old (shit my dudes, it’s real)

2) It was started purely because I had a story that I wanted to post and I was tired of not reblogging fan content but only liking, so the side blog was created

3) There are so many instrumental people who went into creating this blog oh ho ho let me tell you about it under the cut, sorry to everyone who was tagged I went ham

4) This blog has grown to have more followers than I deserve

5) Has gotten me out of some pretty bad depressive episodes

6) Is my child that I want so very much to nurture

So just.... A very big thank you goes out to everyone seeing this. Because even in indirect ways, you have all affected me and shaped me in some way. So thank you, I love you all! (And of you were tagged, even if you don’t read on, please know you affected something about this blog in the biggest way possible. Thank you from the bottom of my heart <3)

If you’d like, please read to see the complete history about my time on here, but if not, I hope your day is extra happy today! Because mine was! <3

So all in all, after I got to read a ton of fanfics online as a guest on AO3, I finally made my own account that held LITERALLY nothing but bookmarked fics that I really wanted to read. When this happened, I looked to tumblr for more Harry Potter content. Since then I have two fics that I have written for fests (1 and 2), dozens of drabbles and head cannons floating around tumblr (under #phiawrites), written 10 fics on AO3, gained a thousand followers or so, and smiled so much more often.

About two years ago, I started actively seeking out blogs. The first every drarry blog I followed religiously, with notifications and everything, was @dorthyanndrarry. Her writing INSPIRED ME, and I would stalk her writing blog daily to see if there was new content to enjoy. Next was @l0vegl0wsinthedark, who not only blew me away with writing, but also with support. She was always so so so kind to everyone, and so excited, and her presence was exactly what I wanted to be as well. Of course, with love, I had to obsess over @bixgirl1 next, and obsess I DID. Sometimes I would get so overwhelmed with notifications, I had to turn them all off, but I would always make it a habit to go back and read their blogs later.

The next big big big step for me, was Jeni. I had followed @drarrymylove for a while, and Jeni wrote such amazing and beautiful drabbles for asks, even anon asks, and I was truly so inspired by them. I would send her asks with prompts, and to my utter delight and surprise, she wrote a few out!!!! They are still my favorites, and I still read them from time to time. About 13 months ago, she sent me a message after I left a comment on something of hers, and I grabbed on and held on to the convo like a life raft on open water.

Soon after, I created this blog on January 20th, 2018. I started reblogging like a wildfire, and I could not get enough.

Next, would definitely be staganddragon (not entirely sure if she wants her new blog to be separate now, so I will keep silent on her blog name). Emily wrote amazing songs, like songs I would listen to on repeat over and over and over and over. This was all around 12 months ago, a little after I started to talk with Jeni, and I got so so so inspired by the song Tuesday Morning, that I just HAD to write. I sat down, and in one five hour sitting, cranked out my first fic. Emily was super supportive, so was Jeni (who at this time didn’t know yet that I was this blog, she thought we were two separate people), and I was riding high.

Soon after, Jeni made a post, or said something, about how there should be more fairytales for drarry, and I quite agreed, and reblogged the post saying that if she wrote one for me, I would write one for her. She agreed, and tagged my other blog only to find out it was me all along, and I went into writing my next fic(s). Jeni gifted me The Nightingale, and I gifted her my cinderella AUs that Emily graciously beta-ed and grew to be more out of control than I thought. I was hooked.

After that, things happened fairly quickly for me. I started betaing, I joined the discord, I met so many amazing people through it (especially in the sprinting section), I wrote more, I responded more to content, I created content.

I met @morgendaemmerung89 who drew me this for one of my drabbles (that I still scream about constantly)

I met @gnarf who is an absolute gem, and inspired me so so much with the fact that she essentially TAUGHT HERSELF ENGLISH TO WRITE, and wrote such heart wrenching stories like Harry Potter’s Biggest Fan

I wrote a birthday present for carpemermaidtales, and a present for @goldentruth813 (who also was so kind and inspiring as a writer and as a supporter with every single person she interacted with. Like... I was in awe. Still am most of the time)

I made friends with @snortinglaughter by telling her we were best friends anonymously and giving her clues as to who I was through anon before she found me (which kinda might be my MO but hey, here we are right?) because Gigi was the absolute best and I was obsessed with her blog as well as her writing such as this one

I was obsessed with @decanthrope‘s ability to say such bizarre things and weave a story out of a single sentence. There is also that way the fics were written so supremely well as well. Take a look

I don’t even remember how I became friends with Jess, @nifflers-n-nargles, but her writing is amazing and I can’t for the life of me tell you how happy I am that I did, as we are married on discord now with @hogwartsfirebolt (who is the sweetest and the loveliest and all around the best ok ok she writes like a dream) Gigi, and @slashfoxes (who had her birthday on my blogs birthday so of course we were destined to be, here is some of her hot stuff)

I talked to @mzuul a few times after I sent her anonymous love letters through the ask box because her art literally makes my heart stop beating for a few seconds so I can take in how utterly amazing it is, and low key inspired me to try to draw a little on my own

I met @foularcadebanana, whom I love with all of my heart, and literally helped me through so fuckign much its not even funny. She was my biggest supporter over the summer with some fics of mine, and I can’t tell her enough how grateful I am for her. I wrote her this little thing here, and if you haven’t read her stuff, please fucking do here is her Big Bang (yes, she did do that kudos to her)

I met @violetclarity who is a gem of a human, and me in like 4 years I have decided, who writes magNIFICENTLY so please check her out

@xx-thedarklord-xx is literally a sweetheart (though she might try and deny it) and I am still shocked that she actually talks to me because she was a BIG name to me starting off, and I ADORED her blog so much, still do, and her writing skills I would literally kill for

@jadepresley talked to me after I left one too many screaming comment on her current fic (seen here), which is absolutely wild and boggles my mind every time it happens... we are best friends now though. NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT FROM ME

@jet-playin writes the funniest and hottest things, and honestly I loved every bit of our interactions

@assassinsdragons was one of the first blogs I noticed in my notes, and everything she had to say was so incredibly kind, and she writes now tooo!!!

@saintdrarry makes absolutely stunning artwork. I am still in awe looking at it, and you should be too. I am so impressed with this gal, let me tell you, she will go places, and I am so happy to be apart of her life

I really can’t tell you how much these people have affected my life and influenced it for the better. Of course, this isn’t everyone, not even close, but just know how thrilled I was to know all of you. Thank you so so so much.

#it's my birthday!#my blog birthday!!#whoop whoop #not hp #just... thank you all #i love you so much #and im so incredibly happy to share this with all of you #<3 #phia rants #phia rambles #like #rambles so hard #whoot whoot #but seriously a bigger thank you cannot be said #you are all precious to me #and so many more people than this #god i need to do more constant appreciation posts

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