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thatsmzbitchtoyou · 2 months

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My Alpha

This is kind of a long one shot (5619 words!), but I thought I'd try my hand at the ABO!/Omegaverse. Hope you like it!

Being an omega wasn’t always a bad thing. At least that’s what she told herself repeatedly as she religiously took hormone blocking birth control pills and wore scent blockers on the daily. Y/N hadn’t had a heat in years and wasn’t planning on letting up any time soon. She had started working as a personal assistant for the Avengers under Tony Stark years before, going through the Sokovia Accords debacle, surviving the Blip, losing Natasha, Tony, Steve, T'Challa, and all the other strange and traumatic things that happened during her tenure. She had denied her biology to get this job, not wanting it to affect her performance or be a target while being surrounded by literal super Alphas in this field. And as hard as the job was, she loved it.

One of the greatest highlights was gaining Bucky Barnes as a friend. While other Alphas she had come across were domineering, he was compassionate and kind. He very rarely lost his composure like others did during high pressure situations in missions, and never fought over who was in charge. He was incredibly careful to make sure everyone around him felt comfortable in his presence. After finally shaking the Winter Soldier programming he didn’t want to ever lose control of himself again, and with the super soldier serum messing with his hormones to the extent that he was nearly feral during ruts, he would isolate himself away to keep her and others safe.

Y/N felt like she could talk to him about anything, and he felt the same. She was his sanctuary after rough missions, one of the few people that could break him out of a deep depressive state or the nightmares that still plagued him. He knew she was an Omega but could barely smell her because of her blockers, which he both loved and hated. Loved because it made it so they could be friends without the weird biological dynamics getting in the way, and hated because he was super curious about what her scent was. They had fallen for each other long ago, but were both too afraid to do anything about it.

As they both relaxed during a rare weekend off they got on the topic of Omega versus Alpha traits. “I get it, Alphas can be rough, but don’t you want to mate someday? Find someone special to settle down with? Maybe have a family?”

She sighed. “Of course I do, Buck.”

“Then what are you afraid of?” he asked gently.

“Not having a clear choice,” she answered simply, giving him a sharp look. “I don’t want my biology to decide my fate. So many Omegas get stuck being mated with bad Alphas because their heats were uncontrollable and the Alpha wouldn’t take no for an answer. I know that I’m predestined to be a nurturer. Hell, that’s what my job is now, taking care of all of you guys! But I should get to choose who I end up with based on love, not by body’s reactions.” Bucky nodded in understanding, looking down at his intertwined hands. “Do you want to settle down someday?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I just don’t know how it would work out. This job…my past. It all points towards disaster at any given time.”

She slid over to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders awkwardly as she sat next to him. “You deserve a happy ever after, Bucky.”

“You do, too, you know,” he reminded her, resting his head on top of hers.

“Mmh, maybe someday,” she said wistfully as she undid her embrace and leaned back against the couch.

“So, anyways,” he cleared his throat. “Is it true that Omegas have a better sense of smell than Alphas or Betas? Like you can pick up on others’ scents and identify them really well?”

She laughed. “Yes, it’s true.”

“Really? Okay, what does…” he scanned the room as other Avengers milled in and out. “Peter. What does Spidey smell like?” He tested her, watching her expectantly.

She took a look at Peter across the room, her nose slightly flaring as she took in a whiff from his direction. “He always smells like fresh bagels to me. You know the smell of just-baked bread? Kinda like that. Mixed with a little bit of hazelnut.”

Bucky looked at her in awe. “Yeah I kinda get that off of him. Alphas can smell and track scents but not to that level.”

“Hm, that’s interesting,” she said as her eyebrows furrowed.

“Now how about Sam?” he asked excitedly, hoping it would be something not so pleasant he could tease him about.

“Ha, Sam is Cajun seasoning with a sweet lemony undertone. Like really well done seafood,” she answered quickly with a smile on her face, knowing Bucky would be disappointed in that answer.

Bucky frowned as he thought about who to ask of next. “Okay, how about…Steve?” He knew it was a long shot. Steve had been gone for a few years now, so she probably wouldn’t remember. But she gave him a soft smile.

“Steve was smoky, like fireworks. A summer night that ends with warm apple crisp and melting vanilla ice cream on top,” she said as she stared out the window, a dazed look in her eyes as she remembered him.

“Wow…” Bucky whispered. “I always got the fireworks, and something like a picnic. But now that you say it, yeah, apple with vanilla.”

“Yep, he was truly all American,” she winked at him.

He laughed as he turned towards her on the couch. “How about, um…me?”

She gazed at him, her expression softening as her nose flared again and she huffed out the breath she’d taken. “Smoky, like Steve, but different.”

“Like gunpowder?” he asked suddenly, his eyes searching hers. He had been told that before and was hoping they were wrong.

“No, not gunpowder. More like…” she sniffed again but frowned. “Do you mind if I…?” she gestured her finger from herself to him.

“Yeah, go ahead,” he said, opening himself up for her to scoot closer to him. She leaned in towards his neck, the best place to scent someone, and breathed in a slow sniff of him. She closed her eyes.

“Campfire. A campfire on the beach. And the smell of the ocean after it rains,” she said resolutely, opening her eyes to look at him. Their faces were close as he stared at her. “But no, not gunpowder,” she reassured him.

“That’s good,” he breathed, his eyes shifting from her eyes down to her lips and back.

Her eyes suddenly widened, her brow furrowing and she pulled herself away quickly. “I, um…I need to go…excuse me,” she said hurriedly before she jumped off the couch and power-walked down the hall towards her room.

“Wait, Y/N, are you okay?” Bucky stood from the couch as he watched her leave.

“Yeah! I’ll talk to you later!” she yelled back without looking, her voice sounded strained.

“What the hell?” he asked himself quietly, looking around him like something had jumped out and spooked her.

Once she was out of sight she ran to her room and had Friday bolt the door. She doubled over in pain and clutched her stomach. “No way,” she moaned as she reached for her phone and called for help.

“Hey you, how are ya?” Bruce asked when he answered the call.

“Bruce,” her voice was pained as she held in another moan. “I need help, something’s wrong.”

“What? What’s going on?” he sounded worried, the rustling of papers and beeping from a screen by him going off.

“It feels…like a heat? But that’s not possible, right? We made sure of it,” she grunted as another cramp shot through her abdomen, and just as suddenly as it all started, it suddenly stopped, leaving her gasping. “Wait, now it stopped? What the hell is happening?”

“Come down to the lab, right now. We’ll get you tested.”

She didn’t need to be told twice as she hung up and crept out of her room towards the elevator. She was able to get in and down to the lab a few floors away without being caught by Bucky or anybody else. She ran into the lab in a panic. Bruce was already setting up the medical bay in the back with everything needed to do a check-up, some vials next to the other instruments.

“Hey, let’s take some blood and see what’s going on,” he called out to her when he heard the doors slide open. She jogged to the bed and hopped up on it, taking off her cardigan so he could access the veins in her arm better. After a quick routine check up he took a few vials of her blood then stepped out towards all the equipment he had for medical and scientific tests.

He worked silently as she sat there deep in thought. It can’t be, she tried to reassure herself. I’ve been so careful. Not missed a single pill ever. This can’t be happening. After about an hour Bruce came back with a screen in his hand, his eyebrows hung low over his eyes and a frown on his face.

“Y/N, it’s…it’s not working anymore,” he said softly, his eyes sad and confused as he looked at her.

“What do you mean?” she asked hesitantly, her eyes widening.

“The hormone blockers, the pills…your body isn’t responding to them anymore. Your hormones are syncing back to normal Omega levels. Your heats are going to come back.”

“No, no no no no no…NO Bruce! I can’t. Please, there’s gotta be another pill to try, a shot, an implant, something? Anything, please?” she began to cry.

“I’m sorry Y/N. We already got you the best blockers that are available out there. If your body is weaning off of them it means your biology is taking over, probably because you’re getting older and it’s fighting back to have a chance at mating. I’m so sorry,” he showed her the hormone levels on a chart on the screen, pointing out the differences and then setting it down. “There’s nothing I can do. Nothing you can do but prepare yourself for it to start again. And your first one is probably going to be brutal after avoiding them for so long. You’ll need help–”

“NO! No, I can’t do this. I can’t ask some random Alpha for help. This isn’t fair!” she cried harder, hiding her face in her hands. Bruce patted her on the back, trying to help ease her pain by giving off a calming scent. He was also an Omega and knew how much this meant to her.

“It will be alright, Y/N. You have friends here who will help you without making it awkward between you and them, or won’t immediately try mating with you during your heat. They’re good Alphas. They won’t hurt you or take advantage of you,” he promised.

She tried to calm the loud beating of her heart that was wringing in her ears, a panic attack trying to settle deep in her bones that she was fighting back. “How long do I have until it comes?” she sighed as she sniffled.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry. With it being so long since you last had one it could be next week or it could be in a couple of months,” he answered gravely.

“Ugh, great,” she laughed as she wiped her tears away. “No choice, whatsoever. My body ultimately got to decide for me after all. Wonderful,” she spat as she jumped down off the bed. “Thank you, Bruce, for testing. I just…I need to go sleep this off, I don’t know,” she said, giving him a quick hug and then leaving the lab.

She took the elevator back up to her floor, her eyes stinging from the hot tears still slowly falling down. Her heat was coming back, and with a vengeance. She would need help. Who would she ask? Any of the unmated superhero Alphas would probably say yes, though she knew she only wanted one. But how could she ask this of him? And if he did help, how could she go on with their friendship as if nothing had happened between them afterwards?

The elevator opened and she trudged into the common room. The floor was already dark as twilight set in and everyone had split off to their rooms. She slipped into the kitchen since she missed dinner while down in the lab to grab something to eat, although she wasn’t particularly hungry. As she made herself a sandwich she turned to grab a knife then saw a figure in the corner at the dining table.

“Jesus! Fuck, Bucky you scared me,” she gasped, holding a hand over her heart.

“Sorry, honey,” he grunted as he sat watching her. “Why are you crying?”

She stiffened as she looked at him, trying to act nonchalant as she grabbed the knife and turned back to her sandwich. “I’m not, I’m just tired,” she waved him off, quickly cutting the sandwich and putting the ingredients and dishes away to escape.

“Don’t lie to me Y/N. What’s wrong?” he stood, walking towards her. She reached for the refrigerator door to get a drink, which he quickly shut and stared her down. She wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“Come on Buck, I just need a drink,” she complained as she tried to open the door again, reaching for the handle. Bucky grabbed her wrist firmly and leaned in towards her.

“What’s wrong Y/N? You ran away earlier and now you smell…off,” he said, searching her eyes as his nose flared at the scent she was radiating. His frown deepened and his eyes looked worried. “Why are you afraid? Was it me? Did I do something wrong?”

“No! Oh no, Bucky, it’s not you,” she said, her eyes widening. “It’s me, it’s just…” her eyes welled up with tears again, spilling onto her cheeks as she sucked in a sharp breath. “It’s me,” she sobbed, leaning forward til her forehead rested against his chest.

“Oh honey,” Bucky sighed. He put his hands under her armpits and lifted her onto the counter so she was eye level with him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her face in his shoulder, crying harder as he enveloped her, his hands rubbing up and down her back as he whispered reassuring words to her. They sat holding each other for a while, Bucky letting her cry it out and Y/N relishing the comfort. As her cries died down and her grip loosened around his neck he pulled back.

“Tell me what’s wrong, please? You’re breaking an old man’s heart,” he pleaded, hating to see her hurting so much.

Y/N chuckled at him calling himself an old man as she wiped her nose with her sleeve. Bucky held her face in his hands and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. She let herself enjoy his touch before she sniffled and finally looked up at him.

“When I was talking to you earlier, I felt this weird pain,” she explained quietly. Bucky nodded, listening intently as he held her face still. “That’s why I ran out. I went to Bruce’s lab to test me because it felt like…like a heat,” she sniffled again, looking down at her lap. Bucky nodded again, his hands releasing her face and reaching for her hands to hold. “I haven’t had one in years.” This surprised him. He knew there were new ways of birth control for Omegas now, giving them a lot more options than to just mate and reproduce and take care of their Alphas and pups like the old days, which he thought was great. He just didn’t realize it could be for so long. “And now, apparently, the hormone blockers aren’t working anymore,” she gripped his fingers tightly. “My body is rejecting them, weaning off of them and reverting back to normal hormone levels. My heat is coming,” she sucked in another sharp breath. “I don’t know when, but he said it’s going to be brutal since I’ve been avoiding them for so long. He said I’ll need help and…and I don’t know what to do.” Her voice shook as she looked up at him again. “I’m scared,” she whispered.

Bucky could feel her panic and gave off what he hoped was a calming scent. It seemed to help as her eyes fluttered shut and her shoulders visibly relaxed. The Alpha in him hummed in satisfaction as he swept his thumbs over her knuckles. “You don’t need to be scared, Y/N. It’s going to be okay,” he tried to placate her. “Listen, I know earlier you said you wanted a choice, and now your body’s not giving you one.” She nodded, a few more tears slipping out the sides of her eyes. “I…I can help you,” he said, gulping back the lump in his throat. Her eyes snapped up to him, a look of shock on her face. “I know that I’m offering something kinda crazy. But I promise you I won’t hurt you, I won’t make you court me if you don’t want to, and I won’t forcibly mate with you.” He looked her deep in her eyes to try to get her to understand. “But I’d be honored to help you.”

Y/N couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. She had wanted to ask him and now he was offering himself for her to get through this first heat. She licked her lips and contemplated it. “I just don’t want it to ruin our friendship,” she sniffed again, her eyes searching his face for hesitation.

“It won’t,” he said earnestly.

“...Okay,” she agreed.

Bucky smiled as he squeezed her fingers. “Okay.”

“Thank you, Bucky. You’re a good Alpha,” she thanked him, lifting his hands up and kissing his knuckles.

His eyes fluttered shut and he cleared his throat. “You should probably not call me that, at least not right now.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh! God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean–”

“It’s okay, honey, it’s fine,” he chuckled. “Whenever it hits you, just call me, and I’ll be there.”

She gave him a warm smile in appreciation. They were playing with fire, and they both knew it deep down, but were denying it heavily.

***

Y/N could feel her hormones changing her body and mind. Bruce had advised against wearing scent blockers as well to help her body fully adjust and hopefully not cause as much pain during her upcoming heat, and that was the first thing she noticed. The Alphas around her, who would normally just give her a friendly greeting or a smile, now watched her hungrily through narrow eyes, giving tight smiles as their noses flared as she passed by. It made her self-conscious enough to ask Bucky one day, “Do I smell bad?”

Bucky looked away from the book he was reading as she plopped next to him on the couch in the common room again, lifting her feet up to rest on his lap. She was touching him a lot more lately. “What do you mean?”

“Do I smell bad? Omegas can’t really smell themselves very well, and since I took off the scent blockers I’ve been…watched,” she looked around the room warily. Bucky’s eyes swept across the other Alphas in the room, noting how they were all giving off territorial scents as they tracked her. He sat up straight, facing each one until they caught his eye and gave off a warning rumble deep in his chest, his eyes flashing dangerously. They each quickly retreated, shamefully turning back towards their previous tasks. The air around Y/N seemed to lift and she felt like she could breathe again. “Thank you, Bucky.”

He sat back on the couch, grabbing his book with one hand and mindlessly rubbing her feet with the other. “No need to thank me, honey. And no, you don’t smell bad. You smell like chai.”

“Chai?” Y/N scoffed.

“Yeah, chai with…” he reached a hand out and grabbed her wrist, bringing it up to his nose and inhaling deeply. Her eyes widened comically at his brashness in scenting her so publicly. “Pumpkin. Chai and pumpkin. Like Autumn,” he concluded, setting her wrist down and then rubbing her feet again. He said it so casually that she just stared at him dumbfounded.

It got worse as the weeks went on. Her emotions were haywire, one minute she was calm and cool and the next she was agitated and easily crying at anything. She was nesting anxiously, rearranging her room and her desk in her office, constantly carrying around a large fuzzy cardigan or blanket with her. Her joints were sore, especially in her hips. She found herself eating all the time. Bruce had her come down to the lab each week to check her levels, each time warning her it could happen any day now.

A month and a half later on a Friday night the team got together for a movie night. They decided on watching the first Avatar, a movie Bucky hadn’t yet seen. As it played Y/N kept fidgeting next to him, adjusting her sitting position, wringing her hands in her lap, taking deep breaths periodically. A scene began of two of the characters connecting in a tree garden and Sam yelled out, “Alien tree sex!” Everyone laughed but Y/N bolted out of the room. Bucky watched her run down to her room and shut her door.

He quietly got up and followed her. He could tell just by her scent changing these last few weeks and how it was getting stronger, the chai smell getting spicier, that her heat was fast approaching. She had been very touchy with him, following him around and staying close whenever they were in the same room. He had no claim to her, but it was evident to everyone to stay away from her, otherwise they’d get a growl from him. He was growing more excited by the day, trying to remind himself that he was just helping out a friend, not staking any claim or bond.

When he reached her door he pressed his ear against it, listening for her. He heard her heart rate picking up and her breathing became labored. He could also smell her, more potent, spicy, the scent of unmated Omega making his hormones sing and call out for her. A deep rumble emitted from his chest as he felt his cock hardening. He knocked on her door.

“Y/N,” he called out, just loud enough for her to hear. A soft moan came from the other side. His eyelids shut tight at the sound. It was time. “I’m coming in,” he warned before opening the door. He stepped inside and was hit with the scent full force, making his eyes and mouth water simultaneously. Y/N was laying in the nest she built on her bed in the fetal position, one hand on her stomach and the other in between her legs, not yet touching herself but keeping pressure against her core. “Honey…” he groaned as he locked the door behind himself and walked towards the bed.

“Alpha,” she breathed, her brow furrowed and eyes shut tight. A cramp wracked through her whole body and she yelped in pain. “It’s starting. It hurts…hurts so bad,” she cried as she could feel a small gush of slick pour from her pussy as her body recognized the Alpha in the room.

“It’s gonna be okay, honey, I’m here,” he cooed at her, reaching his hand out and running his fingers along her leg from her ankle to her thigh. “Let’s get you out of these, huh?” he said while lifting the hem of her shorts up slightly. She nodded and blindly started pulling at her clothes. Bucky helped her strip out of her layers then undressed himself, giving her naked body an appreciative glance. He lay behind her on the bed, cocooning her in his arms and leaning his head into the crook of her neck and scenting her. He could feel himself getting drunk off of her heat. She was sending him into an early rut as his hips rocked against her ass slowly. Y/N keened at that, her back arching and pushing her ass into his crotch further. He moaned at the sensation, his arms tightening around her. “Shh, Omega. I got you,” he said as his voice dropped further, the Alpha coming through more prominently now.

“Bucky…” she sighed, her hands gripping his arms around her. “Please…Alpha please,” she begged, her legs shaking as another cramp hit her.

Bucky moaned at the sound of his name said that way coming from her lips. He started to lick and suck and kiss at the scent gland on her throat, making her gasp loudly. His scent mixed with hers, and they quickly got lost in each other. His hands found her breasts and massaged them firmly, his fingers tweaking her nipples and making her hips buck back into him again. He twisted her body around to face him. She quickly molded herself back to him, hiking her leg up and over his hip, her hands scratching down his chest. He tried to remind himself one last time that this was just a friend helping a friend. Then she kissed him.

The kiss broke the dam of hesitancy he was holding to desperately. He quickly responded, his mouth opening and their tongues tangling as they tasted each other. Bucky climbed on top of her, his knees forcing hers apart. His fingers probed her lower lips, finding her clit and giving it all his attention. Y/N’s hips writhed as he riled her up. She watched his fingers dip into her, making her breath stutter. She was already dripping for him so he plunged two fingers into her, thrusting them in and out while his thumb rubbed and flicked her clit.

“Fuck Alpha,” she groaned. “Just like that, shit!”

Bucky smiled as she cursed, her legs shaking against his. She reached down and took his cock in her hand, giving him lazy pumps as he got her closer to her release. He huffed a sharp breath. “Damn, honey, oooh that’s good,” he said lowly. “Give it to me, love, come on, you can do it. Be such a good Omega for me,” he encouraged her as he curled his fingers as deep as he could reach.

The tension in her core finally snapped, her first orgasm ripping through her at lightning speed, squirting slick all over his hand and his hips. She let out a guttural moan, the sound reverberating through the air, making the Alpha inside of him scream to claim her. He had to physically restrain himself as he pulled his fingers out of her. She smiled as she watched him with hooded eyes. He put his wet fingers in his mouth and licked them clean of her slick, his eyes rolling back at the taste.

“Alpha please, I need you. Bucky, I want your big cock inside me…please!” Y/N begged again. Normally it would embarrass her to be acting like this, she would have never dreamed of speaking to Bucky this way. But they were beyond the point of no return.

“Condom first, Omega,” he reminded her in his authoritative voice. “As much as I’d love to fill you up, I don’t think that’s what you want just yet.”

Y/N pouted, but the first orgasm had helped clear her brain a little bit, and pointed to the nightstand next to the bed. Bucky quickly reached over and pulled open the top drawer, finding the box and pulling a few of them out. He unwrapped one and slipped it on himself before settling back between her legs, backing up a little bit. “Present, please, Omega.”

Y/N twisted herself onto her stomach, lifting her hips high and pressing the side of her face into the bed. Bucky almost whimpered at the sight of her sweet pussy, seeing the way he had made her drip with slick, the skin softly puckering in anticipation. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen Y/N, goddamn,” he whispered huskily. She preened at his praise, her ass raising a little higher. He gave her ass a quick slap, making her yelp and shiver. “You ready?” he asked, making sure she was still wanting this.

“Yes, please Alpha, Bucky…please!”

“You’re so sexy when you beg,” he slapped her ass again, then grabbed her hips and aimed himself at her entrance. He slowly pushed in the tip of his cock, the fat head catching just past her lower lips, making them both groan. He kept pushing until he was fully seated inside her, letting her adjust to his size. Y/N was keening again, a high pitched tone ringing through the air. After a moment she wriggled her hips, silently asking him to thrust. A deep growl emanated from Bucky’s throat and he pulled back until it was just the tip inside, then snapped his hips back into her hard.

Y/N was making the sweetest noises he’d ever heard as he pummeled his cock into her. She whimpered and moaned, making him hook an arm around her hips and lay his stomach across her back, quick huffs of his breath warming her shoulder. He could feel her walls fluttering around him, making the rhythm of his hips stutter. “Fuck, honey, you gonna cum?” She nodded as her moans got louder. He flipped her back over onto her back so he could watch her release, leaving barely any room between them as he hovered over her. Her hands wound around the back of his neck, scratching his scalp with her nails. “Goddammit, do that again,” he heard himself whimpering this time. She scratched from the top of his head down to his neck and pulled him in for another kiss.

He reached between their bodies and started flicking her clit as he chased his own high. “Bucky, oh my God,” she squealed against his lips as her back arched and her legs clung to his hips. “Yes, yes, yes, shit…mark me.”

Bucky didn’t stop thrusting but tensed at her words. “No, Y/N, you don’t want that.”

“Yes, I do, with you, Bucky,” she gasped.

“Omega,” he warned her, his eyes flashing. “We can talk about that when I’m not balls deep inside you.”

Y/N tensed at his Alpha command, her legs loosening around him. “I want you to be my Alpha, my mate.”

“God fucking dammit,” Bucky stopped thrusting and leaned on his elbows above her. “Y/N, listen to me, you don’t want that. You said you wanted a clear choice, remember?” Y/N was silent and wide eyed as she watched him, slightly nodding her head. “This isn’t a clear choice. Your first heat in how many years? It’s your hormones talking, honey. And believe me, I’d love to mark you, claim you, bond and mate with you. Stuff you full of me,” he thrust again, making her eyes roll back, “and breed you with my pups. But we can talk about all that later. Right now, I’m here to help you through this, because you’re my best friend, and…I’m ridiculously in love with you.” He finally said it. “I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. But when it’s both of us with clear heads and a clear choice. Okay?”

Y/N’s eyes were watery as she listened to him. “You’re in love with me?”

Bucky huffed a laugh, “Is that all you got out of that?”

She shook her head, “No, but it’s the most important thing. I’m in love with you.”

He smiled wide and leaned down to give a quick kiss to her nose. “Can I continue now?”

She nodded again, and he gave her another thrust to get her going again. Her slick started to make squelching noises as he picked up the pace again, his knot starting to catch at her entrance, his hand reaching to her clit again and trailing kisses down her throat to her scent gland, licking and sucking at it again.

“One day, if you’ll have me, I’ll bite this pretty neck,” he moaned in her ear as her fingers dug into his back. “Make you mine.”

“Yours, all yours, Bucky…Alpha,” Y/N groaned, leaning her head up and scenting him back. Her soft lips and her tongue against his gland had his eyes rolling in his head again and his fingers gripping her hips harshly. “That’s right. Mine. Mine…mine,” he thrusted harder and faster, angling her hips up to hit deeper.

Y/N screamed his name as she finally came, her hands digging into the flesh between his neck and shoulder, scratching his scent gland and making him see stars as he came with a yell, his knot fully inflating and latching him to her as she nearly squeezed the dear life out of him. He fell on top of her, and she held him as he calmed down, both of them panting and sweaty.

A heady scent filled the air, a smell that screamed satisfied mates. Bucky pulled himself to his side, holding her close so it wouldn’t hurt her to move with him, and covered them with the blankets from her nest. Y/N was delirious after this first round of her heat, her head lolling with exhaustion. “Rest, Omega. We’ve still got a few days, and forever after that.”

She smiled sleepily, “Hmmm, my Alpha.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #smut #marvel #abo #alpha!bucky #alpha!bucky barnes #omega!reader #alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader #bucky barnes oneshot

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honey-minded-hivemind · 2 months

Note

Yandere Wolverine and pre teen reader ABO (they are a beta while Wolverine is an alpha)

Ooooo, goodie! I hope you read my ABO stuff, to give you an idea of how the different gender stuff works! Let's see what we can do:

Being an alpha, especially a feral one, made it hard to keep his instincts in check.

It helped, having a team to watch after and protect and care for. It sated some of the gnawing hunger to love and protect something and take care of them til his dying breath.

But he still wasn't quite satisfied.

That unrest disappeared the moment he talked to them. A kid, barely having just presented, who was a beta. And his heart felt full, his need to have pack finally put to rest.

They were a funny, clever kid, always working on something and hardly taking breaks. They could go hours, DAYS even, without nothing more than a few granola bars and two hours of sleep, all so they could finish their latest project. It didn't matter what the kid was into at the moment or how much effort it took or hours it needed, they'd sit still and keep working, keep creating, no matter the consequence.

That didn't sit well with him.

The kid needed sleep. They needed food. Not to mention a bath and some juice or water. If he was an omega, he could actually produce milk, and feed them that way (he didn't see a problem with it, it was normal for mutant omegas to feed the pups/younger members of their pack). But he wasn't an omega, and he wasn't able to convince the kid the polite way to lay down and take a nap.

That meant Plan B, or the Not-So-Nice Way.

He knew this was breaking trust, drugging them, but darn it, they were working themself to death! What was he supposed to, let them?! No, no he wasn't.

He's able to run a bath for them, using a gentle soap and washing the fluff of hair they have, and once that was over, get them dressed and in one of the nearby nests. It didn't take much effort to push them down, barely awake yet still struggling, then to wrap his body around their's, providing them with enough warmth to relax their cramped muscles. He chuckles when a small purr escapes them, earning him a tired glare.

"Get some rest, pup. When ya wake up, we're gettin' ya some food."

A small hrmmph sighs from their nose, then their eyes slip close. It doesn't take much longer for their breaths to even, nor their body to fully relax. Before he joins them in their slumber, Logan makes sure the thick blanket stays wrapped around the two of them, and finally settles down, hugging his pup close and drifting off, knowing he fulfilled his duty as an alpha, and as a dad...

#honeycomb thoughts #platonic yandere marvel #yandere platonic marvel #platonic yandere xmen #yandere x-men #platonic yandere #platonic yandere x reader #platonic yandere marvel x reader #platonic yandere wolverine #platonic yamdere wolverine #platonic yandere logan howlett #abo au

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vulnonapix1234 · 1 year

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Ok, please consider:

Platonic A/B/O, where Captain Marvel smells like a pup, cause Billy hasn't gone through puberty yet.

The rest of the justice league is losing their mind over it.

They are aware that other alien species don't have their gender/sex systems and that their Captain isn't at fault for smelling like a Baby, but it doesn't help with their instincts.

You would think that Batman is the worst. But you would be fooled. Mr. "My Pack instincts are so strong that I will adopt any lonely Pup" respects that Captain Marvels, as omnipotent magical being, has a different biology than them. He has been friends with Clark long enough to know that you need to draw a line somewhere.

Diana is the worst. She is an warrior Alpha that never came in contact with many pups and is utterly unprepared for her new parental instincts.

She will hunt down anyone that dares to put an hand on him, before aggressively scenting him. She even tried to make a Nest for him, much to batman's dismay. (His poor Omega heart couldn't take the blanket-pillow monstrosity)

The rest of the justice league is a bit more professional.

He still gets scent marked at every corner.

Meanwhile Billy Batson, Packless Puppy and Champion of Magic gets weak knees whenever someone shows him parental affection.

#billy batson #captain marvel #captain marvel dc #justice league #abo

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purpleicedteas · 4 months

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Practice

by purpleicedteas

“I'm ready, too, Stevie. I just think—” Bucky sighed, a mischievous look in his eyes. “I just think we should practice.” Steve blinked. “Practice.” “Yeah. For pups. It takes some couples several cycles, so if we want to get pregnant, we need to be ready for next week.” Steve’s cheeks flushed. “Right.” “Wouldn’t want to waste a round, right?” “Right.”

Bucky Barnes Bingo: C2 - MPreg @buckybarnesbingo

Captain Bottom Bingo: Free Space @cabottombingo

Build a Bucky Bingo: Happily Ever After @buckybarnesevents

Steve Rogers Bingo: Free Space @steverogersbingo

Thank you to @buckybarnesevents for putting up such a wonderful event! The NYE Masquerade was so fun. Thank you for getting me out of a writing slump.

#stucky #stevebucky #alpha bucky #alpha bucky barnes #omega steve #omega steve rogers #winter soldier #white wolf #captain america #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #stevebucky fanfic #stevebucky fanfiction #mcu #marvel #abo #my fanfic

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frankthesnek · 23 days

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✨️ New Story ✨️

Animal I Have Become (rated E)

Stony (Tony Stark/Steve Rogers)

a/b/o dynamics, rutting, rough sex, shsmless smut

4.5k words

Stony Bingo space N3: Bullet wounds. @cap-ironman

Being injured and stranded behind enemy lines is pretty much old news for Tony and Steve at this point. However, this time it comes with a twist—Steve's injuries send him into rut. When Tony refuses to abandon his friend there's only one way things can play out.

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buckymilf · 2 years

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Brooklyn Baby

Chapter 5 with my art for the @shrunkyclunksbang in collaboration with @anavalancheofstucky is up on AO3 now!

#bucky barnes #bucky #steve rogers #stucky #stevebucky #captain america #wintershield #marvel #steve x bucky #winter soldier #my art #stucky art #stevebucky art #shrunkyclunks bang #ABO

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dnvrsmedia · 2 years

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Houston We Have A Problem

word count: 1608

genre: smut (this is an 18+ fic)

warnings: A/B/O dynamics, Dacryphilia, impact play and other BDSM aspects, etc (pls feel free to lmk if i missed anything!)

an/ this is my first fic back after a very long hiatus AND my first smut piece, so pls be gentle lol. im terrified to post this...like truly. anyway i want to thank my love @cthulhus-curse for encouraging me to get back into writing and for helping me navigate the world of smut writing <33. everyone go check out their blog if you have not already! i hope you all enjoy! requests are now open :)

masterlist / ask box / navigation

you do not have my permission to repost my material and claim it is yours. that is plagerism.

likes and reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed.

Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong and you knew that the second you walked off that quinjet. You looked absolutely miserable and felt a whole lot worse. Sweat was dripping from every inch of your body and that was not the only thing that was wet. Your face looked permanently flushed as your body radiated heat like a broken furnace. You could only go a few steps without feeling intense and overwhelming cramping in your abdomen. You cursed as you felt those familiar feelings of emptiness and need surge though your body. All the signs of you going into heat were there, and yet you refused to believe that your body did this naturally. There was no way you went into heat so early was all you could think about, and you were on a mission to figure it out. You were determined to crawl back to the med bay no matter how late in the night it was. You just came back from what was supposed to be an easy recon mission. A simple sweep of an old Hydra science facility. You felt the hairs stand up on the back of your neck as you conducted the sweep, yet there was nothing to be found. Being that the mission went way too smooth for your liking, you stayed very skeptical. Your assumptions were proven right seeing as you were almost on all fours, crawling to the med bay. As the seconds go by you can feel your absolute desperation for your alphas incline. Thinking straight has been thrown out of the window as your inner omega screams for what you need. Your head is full with one thought. You need your alphas. You’re not going to die if you come back after you see them…right? After what feels like an eternity of contemplation, you finally say fuck it and turn to go into your shared room. The second you are in the door, you feel hands all over you. Through the bond that you share with your mates, you could tell that if they didn’t already know, they had a feeling. Both Natasha and Carol tower over you and overwhelm you with their scents. You could never get tired of their smell. A mix of sandalwood and musk for Carol and pure seduction and something floral for Natasha. When they combine you can’t help but feel lightheaded. Carol is the first to remove her mouth from leaving trails of kisses all over your neck to talk. “Fuck me, honey you smell so fucking good.” Carol growls in your ear as she caresses and gropes every inch of your body. You moan out as you feel Natasha grinding on you from behind. Her cock ever so straining through her boxers.

“God, baby you’re driving us wild. I swear we smelled how needy this pussy was from the second you landed.” Natasha takes her hand and snakes it around your throat to get more leverage as she grinds into your ass.

Carol slides the zipper to your suit all the way down to expose your chest. She starts from your decolletage as she roughly marks your body just the way you like it. Her tongue, teeth, lips and saliva all thrown into her bites and marks. A trail of her is left after and it is making you go mad. You don’t know how much longer you can take. The combination of both of your alpha’s cocks pressing into your front and back makes you dizzy. Your moans start to become louder and more desperate. “Please alphas!” you exclaim, “I need your knot! I need you both to fill me up. I need you inside me!” You cry out.

You feel as if you were to explode if both of your holes were not filled at this instant. Both Carol and Natasha laugh at your neediness, but nevertheless, they comply with your wishes. Carol works on taking her clothes off as she lets Natasha carry you to your shared bed. Within seconds your suit is completely ripped off of you just by her bare hands. No matter how many times Natasha does that, you can’t help but just moan. Your slick grows as time goes on to the point of you dripping on the bed.

“I need you both to hurry up.” You whine as your hand travels to your bud, hoping for some form of relief. Before you can touch, you feel Carol’s familiar hand grab onto your wrist.

“Did the needy bitch forget about their manners, hmm? You seem to forget that we own this pussy of yours, baby. Not the other way around. Just look at how pathetic our slut is.” Carol turns towards Natasha. You look over at her and see her hand slowly pumping her cock. Her tip was almost as red as her hair. You could tell that she needed to be inside of you just as much as you needed her.

“Please alphas, I need you so bad.” You babble that and other iterations as you start to cry. The overwhelming feeling of being empty has controlled and taken over your senses. You open your eyes to Nat trailing her tongue up your cheek, wiping away your tears. Her free hand wraps around your neck tight.

“Fuck, you know I love it when you cry.” She groans into your ear. Carol enters you with a swift thrust unexpectedly. Finally being filled by one of your alphas sends you into a frenzy. Nat lets go of your throat for a moment to hear your desperate moans and pleads. You can tell that the normally “chill” ex-assassin is becoming less patient. Nat straddles your face, blocking your view of Carol. Seeing that you’re not paying attention to her, she smacks your cheek. You moan out some curse words and focus your attention on the red head in front of you. Her free hand goes for your jaw as she squeezes tight to open your mouth. A sinister smile joins her face as she sees you struggling to remain eye contact.

“Open up, whore.” Is all that is said to you before her cock is thrusted down your throat. You loved nothing more than being their toy to play with. Filling you up on both ends made you drip. You particularly loved it when Natasha loses control like just now. Snapping her hips into your wet and welcoming mouth. Fucking your throat until your jaw is sore.Making you gag at her gurth as it fucks your mouth open wide, ready to be used by her. Natasha’s moans are like none other. Hearing her raspy and airy groans turn into deep, dark, and needy moans turns you on an inexplicable amount. That combined with her and Carol’s dirty talk is guaranteed to make you cum within minutes. You can always tell when Tasha is getting close when she starts letting her inner alpha out with no restraint.

“Fuck, baby your mouth is so wet. Yeah? You like that, slut? You like being Sir’s personal fleshlight, huh? Just always ready to be full of my cum. What a needy bitch you are. Always wanting to be filled with our pups. Isn’t that right, Carol? The bitch can’t get enough of us.” Nat growls as her hips snap into your throat with vigor. Carol lets out a long groan as Natasha’s words cause your cunt to tighten around her. Your pussy glistens with need as it swallows Carol’s length whole, leaving nothing left.

“Fuuuccck Nat, I wish you could see how hungry their cunt is for my knot.” Carol picks up speed as she feels herself get closer to her release. That remark must have set Natasha off as she bucks into your mouth one last time before she fills your mouth with her cum. Thick ribbons of her sticky white substance spills down the sides of your mouth as you try and swallow it all. Nat’s hips finally slow as she flops next to you on the bed. Her desperation is still there as she takes the back of your neck and presses her mouth to yours. Mixing a combination of both your saliva and her cum. The action makes Carol moan. You feel her cock twitch in you as she plows her hips even deeper into you if possible. Like Nat, Carol lets go of all restraint when she is ready to cum. Carol’s primal instincts take over as she growls and pounds into you deeply.

“Such a filthy omega for us, aren’t you? You would be lost without your alphas and our cocks, isn't that right, baby?” All you can do is moan and whimper. Your eyes are rolling into the back of your head as you try to stay focused.

“Answer me.” Carol reached to your puffy clit and rubbed tight circles onto it. “You’re nothing but a dumb, cockdrunk whore who always needs their alphas knot.”

All you could do was nod ferociously until your vision went white. Carol’s knot is released seconds after, filling you with her pups. Praises and sweet nothings were muttered to you as you finally cum. Yet that only satisfies your itch for so long.The three of you lay in the bed, Carol on top of you and Nat beside her. You turn to Nat and start nuzzling your nose into her mark while inhaling her scent. You feel yourself feeling empty once more. Your hands (not so discreetly) travel down to their cocks, ready for more. You look up to see the both of them in shock.

“We are far from over.” You smirk.

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its-pluto · 7 months

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You’re laughing. Tony Stark has more omega fics on ao3 than Dean Winchester and you’re laughing.

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #destiel #this is a REAL issue #why are none of you uproared.#i dont even read abo and its crazy to me #marvel #tony stark

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atlasscrumpit · 2 years

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Bucky x reader

Torn

Alpha/Omega au

(trigger warning, mentions past abuse)

(alpha/omega au)

(im.on vacations dn I have vertigo so if my stories are crapoy that's why)

Bucky awoke to the bed moving as he turned over to see you sobbing and grabbing at your chest in your sleep.

The Alpha inside of him panicked when he could feel your distress and fear.

"Doll, it's okay. Wake up, sweetheart." He said gently shaking you as you jolted awake and screamed.

You sat up and your entire body shook violently.

"No, no, no please don't. Please, you can't, you can't. You'll hurt me." You whispered over and over rocking back and forth.

"Y/N, I'm right here." Bucky said gentle as he placed his hand on your thigh and you turned to look at him.

You and Bucky were together, but you weren't bound together.

It was impossible for you to be claimed since the glands on each side of your neck had been destroyed.

You always kept your shoulders and neck covered so the team never knew, not even Bucky knew.

They noticed you didn't have a scent but they just assumed you were on suppressants.

"Bucky?" You whispered as he smiled softly.

Bucky wanted to claim you more than anything, and you hated that he couldn't.

But you weren't ready to tell him.

"I'm sorry." You whispered as you began to sob.

"Doll, it's okay. You're safe." Bucky whispered as you leant against him, you nuzzled into his neck and sighed softly.

Bucky played with your hair softly as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

You woke up the next morning to see Bucky already awake.

He was reading a book while playing with your hair.

"Bucky?" You whispered as he put his book down and looked at you.

"Morning, doll. You okay?" He whispered as you slowly sat up and nodded.

"Yeah, just a nightmare." You whispered sitting on the edge of the bed.

Bucky stood up and stood in front of you.

"I know you're not ready, love. But if we were to mate I could take it all away, I could help calm you down and make you feel safe." He said as you stood up and backed away.

"I know. I'm going to get breakfast." You said about to rush off before Bucky grabbed your wrist.

"Wait, Y/N! We need to talk about all of this. I know you had a rough past, but mating isn't scary especially not with me. I would keep you safe. The last thing I want to do is force you, but I just want to know if you really want this or not." He muttered as you looked at him sadly.

"You deserve a mate. I wish you could have one." You whispered as he looked at you in shock.

"So, you're breaking up with me?" He asked as you looked at him.

"You're an alpha, Buck. You need an omega." You whispered trying to hold back your tears.

"And why can't that be you? I desever an explanation Y/N!" He shouted making you flinch.

"So why can't we mate? Is there someone else? Am I not enough for you?" He said as you pulled away from him.

"I can't mate Bucky!" You shouted back making him look at you in shock.

"I want to, I want to with all of my heart but I can't." You whispered, the tears falling from your eyes as Bucky slowly stepped forward.

"Why, Y/N?" He asked reaching out to hold your hand.

You reached up with your other hand and moved your shirt away from your neck to show him the deep scar.

His eyes widened and he reached forward to gently touch it.

"So, that's why you don't have a scent." He whispered as you nodded.

"It's the same on the other side." You muttered before covering it back up.

"Y/N... What happened?" He whispered as you looked up at him.

He could see you couldn't bring yourself to tell him.

"Shh, it's okay. You don't need to tell me, I'm just glad you got this far, doll. I'm here whenever you need to talk, okay?" Bucky said as you nodded and hugged him.

"I'm going to go see Bruce about it today. I've never had anyone look at it so maybe he can help." You whispered as Bucky held you tightly.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked as you pulled away and wiped your tears away.

"I just want to go alone, of that's okay." You replied as he smiled and kissed your forehead.

"Of course it's okay."

You sat in Bruce's lab, softly playing with your t shirt.

"So, what brings you in today?" He asked making you smile.

"It's about my omega side." You muttered as he nodded.

"I've noticed that you and Bucky aren't bonded. Are you on suppressants?" He asked as you shook your head.

"No, but I can't...mate." You muttered before you pulled your shirt across to show him the scar.

"Shit." He muttered reaching forward to get a better look.

"Y/N, what happened?"

After explaining everything to Bruce and him telling you it was basically impossible to fix you went back to Bucky where he was waiting in your shared room.

When you entered he jumped up and hugged you tightly.

"I want to tell you what happened." You whispered as he nodded.

"Just know you dont have to." He said as you smiled and led him over to the bed to sit beside you.

"I want you to know the truth." You replied as he held onto your hand tightly.

"My father did this." You whispered looking down at the floor as Bucky looked at you in shock.

"Was he trying to protect you from other alphas?" Bucky asked as you shook your head.

"No. He...he wanted me." You whispered feeling tears in your eyes.

You squeezed Bucky's hand even tighter and took a deep breath in.

"He tried to mate with me." You muttered looking to Bucky who looked pale and in shock.

"Of course it was impossible, he got so angry that he tore into my skin so no one else would ever have me." You explained looking into Bucky's eyes.

He reached forward and wrapped you up in his arms as you began to cry.

"I'm so sorry, doll. Thank you for telling me." He whispered running his hand through your hair.

"I'm guessing that's what all the nightmares are about." He said making you nod in response.

"I love you so much, Y/N."

"I love you too, Bucky."

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky x reader #The winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #Mcu #Marvel #Reader insert #Alpha omega #Abo dynamics

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honey-minded-hivemind · 2 months

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ABO Villain/Hero AUs are kinda fun, because it actually changes from the set story for either au. Let me explain a little:

For Villain!Reader AU, once their boss was defeated, they left New York, and only later did the infected platonic yans find out they were a kid. My plans for the Hero!Reader AU is where Reader stayed in New York, but still helped defeat their boss, earning them a more serious reputation, but still, no one really unmasked them or found out their age until a lot later in the game.

So, the ABO Villain/Hero AUs flip this idea around. In these aus, the platonic yans figure out way sooner that Reader is young, being a pup. And since the ABO are already intense with mutant ABO instincts and urges, mix that with Reader's powers in either Villain!/Hero!Reader AUs, you have the platonic yans the moment they figure out Reader is just a pup and has been the entire time they've been enemies, trying to claim (read: kidnap and feed) Reader as their own pup/packmate/sibling.

And Reader is certainly against it. These are their enemies! Their nemesises! Their foes! Why would they relax around them?! They've hidden their secret for over FIVE YEARS of fighting these insane people, why would they drop half a decade's worth of grudges and plans just to coddle them?! It's a TRAP, that's what they say! (Yeah, it's not a trap, but Reader still had to deal with their abusive boss/partner/captor in the Villain/Hero AUs, so they're still wary and unsure of getting close to another person again).

You now have infected platonic yans figuring out Reader doesn't know how to healthily deal with instincts or urges (when they find out Reader simply pushed them down to the point of self-denial and self-harm, they are jumping in to hug (and sedate) the cr*p out of them), and now fighting each other over leaving Reader to them. (A few are okay with sharing, a few can share as a whole group, others just want to disappear for a few weeks and see if they can get Reader to drop into their urges (which is pretty much letting themself be taken care of, with a lot less biting, hissing, and trying to claw the platonic yan or themself open)). Now, if they can just drag their favorite little bee back to their nest for emergency instict therapy...

Reader now has a whole new can of worms to deal with...

#honeycomb thoughts #platonic yandere marvel #yandere platonic marvel #platonic yandere xmen #yandere x-men #platonic yandere x reader #platonic yandere marvel x reader #Villain!Reader AU #Hero!Reader AU #Villain!Reader ABO AU #Hero!Reader ABO AU

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vulnonapix1234 · 1 year

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Again with my platonic abo au and Wonder Woman wanting to adopt Marvel.

He was actually able to bullshit an explanation of why Diana feels so strongly about him.

Zeus is one of the God's that gave him his Powers. As such they share a creator so to speak. (It hurts to call him her father)

Their creator is also knows to be an cruel and downright villainous being, so Dianas protective instincts aren't wrong.

Everyone else just accepted this, even though Wonder Woman became even more protective of Marvel. He is officially part of her family pack and as such, it's her duty to guide and protect him.

Meanwhile, Billy Batson is thorn.

On one hand, the puppy in him is so happy to not only have a pack, but also an mom.

On the other Hand, he is also aware that she only loves Captain Marven. Neither she, nor the rest of the league would care for Billy Batson.

This assumption is really wrong.

Wonder Woman actually went into an protective Rut after they learned Marvels true identity.

(They all had been fighting a Darkside Level threat and he saw it as only way to end it. Needless to say, post battle adrenaline and the proximity of an injured Pack Puppy arent a good mix, especially not for Diana)

She was all theet and claws in an pointless battle to protect her tiny pup, even from her other packmates.

Meanwhile, said Packmates just want to check up on the child that their Packmate kidnapped.

(Diana also blames Zeus for this whole mess. Who else would give a child the power of gods)

#billy batson dc #billy batson #captain marvel dc #captain marvel #shazam dc #shazam #wonder woman #justice league #abo #abo au #au #diana of themiscyra

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ojerasgigantes · 13 days

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Muevete bien (que nadie como tú me sabe hacer café) CHT. 8

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Pairings: Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton

Characters: Clint Barton, Bucky Barnes, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers

Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, PTSD, Alpha!Bucky Barnes, Omega!Clint Barton, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Young!Clint Barton, Explicit Sexual Content, True mates-ish

Words: 42.5k

Fic Summary:

So, nothing dangerous is happening, just so you know." Bruce said reassuringly. "It just seems that you two, genetically speaking, align very well, almost perfectly."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that your body is more inclined to want to reproduce with him, because your compatibility level is extremely high.” Bruce explained, and after a moment smiled. “Or would I dare to say, you two are true mates."

AO3 LINK

The person in the mirror looking back at him vaguely resembled Clint. The difference was enough that he had to look twice to reassure that it was actually himself in that reflection.

Damn, he looked weird as a blond.

Hill had stopped him an hour later after their meeting, only to hand him a hair bleaching kit. At the time, Clint almost wanted to protest, but after thinking before speaking, he decided to shut his mouth instead. He didn’t want to make himself look even less cooperative after the little outburst he had had in front of her.

The thing was that Clint was blond already. A dirty, less blinding shade of blond, but blond nonetheless. So, looking at himself sporting the same color he had when he was 3 years old was a little unsettling to say the least.

“You look like you are a member of NSync.”

Clint looked past his own reflection to see Natasha standing at the door of the bathroom. Hewanted to be mad at her for the trick she pulled on him, but couldn’t. Not when it had actually been helpful. He didn’t want to think about how his heat would’ve gone if she hadn’t brought him Barnes’ hoodie.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Clint said, and fixed his hair in the mirror. After a moment he scrunched his face, still not used to how he looked like, “I’m surprised I didn’t end up bald.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t send you to a professional stylist, with the amount of money they carry around.” Natasha added.

“Do you think I would’ve sat down for more than an hour while doing nothing?” Clint asked, raising one brow at Natasha through his reflection.

“No.” She said, and cocked her head to the side.

Clint turned to face her. Natasha’s eyes raked through his hair, admiring the work he had done.

She smirked, “He likes blonds, you know?”

Clint felt his eyes roll into the back of his head so hard he saw spots.

“I was already blond.”

“Not like this, though.” Her grin grew wider.

Clint agreed with a hum, and leaned back against the sink. After a second, Natasha left her spot at the door, walking closer.

She waited for Clint to make eye contact before she spoke.

“You should talk to him.” She said, serious.

Clint opened his mouth to retort, hands up, ready for a fight. But, he had run out of excuses for himself and his behavior. And whatever he could think of at the moment, would not fly by Natasha for even a second.

He let his arms fall back down, his right hand gripping the side of the sink, “I know.” He sighed, running his other hand over his face.

“You have been acting like an idiot these past weeks.” She stated, giving him a knowing look.

Clint hung his head, and groaned “I know.” .

He looked up at the ceiling, and sighed, a bit tired from having woken up at 4:30 am. He didn’t sleep as well as he would’ve liked. The knowing pressure of anxiety plaguing his chest and trying its best to keep him awake.

“What are you doing up, anyway?” Clint questioned her, “I know you are a morning person, but this early?”

Natasha looked away for a second, and she bit back a smile, “Can’t I say goodbye?”

Clint huffed, “Like you don’t disappear for months without telling me.”

When Natasha didn’t say anything to him, he turned his whole attention to her. She had her arms crossed, and was looking at him, fond behind her eyes. But most of all, Clint knew she was assessing him.

Clint offered her a bright smile.

“Don’t tell me that you are worried.” He said, mocking her just a little.

“I’m not.” She answered, although her smile said differently, and both of them knew she was lying.

“It’s okay.” He said, and walked around her towards the door, “I’m glad to know that you love me.” He taunted her.

Natasha sighed, a little disgruntled, “I do.” She admitted.

Clint felt the smile on his face soften, his heart clenching a bit. Her scent heightened, a little bit warmer, and Clint wanted to wrap himself with it. The idea of staying in the compound, in the comfort of what he knew, made itself known in Clint’s mind. But he discarded it quickly.

Instead, he went to hug Natasha.

He embraced her, clutching onto her a little too hard. Natasha accepted it gladly, fitting herself against Clint’s frame, hands around him.

“I do too, Nat.” He mumbled against her hair. He scented her, trying to keep her smell close to him.

If Natasha did it back, he didn’t notice. She let the hug happen for a few more seconds, and then squeezed him before stepping away.

“Take care of yourself.” She said sincerely. The ‘please’ went unsaid.

Clint nodded, rolling his eyes. Then, was immediately startled by Natasha’s grip on his face as she forced him to look at her.

“And don’t do anything idiotic.” She ordered, expression hard, the smile she had gone.

“Okay, okay!” He relented, pulling away from her hands.

Before he left the bathroom, he turned to take a last look at her and wave her goodbye. It was going to be hard to contact her for however long this mission was going to take, and a wave of uneasiness rolled over him.

Either way, Clint forced himself to walk away. A helicopter was waiting for them outside, ready to take them to the airport. The clutch he had on his duffel bag tightened the moment he caught sight of the helicopter.

He knew his reaction in that meeting was overblown, so he was still feeling a little embarrassed about it. And, on top of everything, he really wasn’t looking forward to spending time in a confined space with Barnes.

As he approached the helicopter, Clint inhaled deeply. The humid scent of the morning mist filled his nostrils. He was taking advantage of the fact that he was outside and the air was yet to be tainted by Barnes. He made sure to take in his fill, knowing that he would barely catch a break after the mission started.

Clint was the first to arrive, and he greeted the pilot with a nod, waiting obediently a few meters away from the helicopter. Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait that much. He heard footsteps approaching towards where he was standing and Clint raised his head to greet Barnes only for the words to get stuck in his throat.

Bucky had gotten a haircut.

Clint almost didn’t recognise him. The long hair he had gotten used to was completely gone. Now, his hair was in an almost military style. The haircut faded seamlessly into his beard, enhancing his jawline and leaving his neck exposed.

Feeling himself getting a bit flustered, Clint couldn’t help the tiny noise that escaped his throat. He was glad that it was low enough that it could only be heard by himself.

Bucky looked good. Too good. So good that the tight grip Clint had on his sanity wavered just a bit.

When Bucky finally stopped in front of him, his eyes were busy on the phone in his hand. Clint swallowed thickly, and shook his head.

“I see they butchered your hair as well.” Clint commented, voice tad hoarse.

At that Bucky looked up, seemingly to retort at Clint’s insult, but froze. His eyes frantically jumped between his hair and his face, wide and shocked.

Ouch. Clint had thought for a millisecond that he actually looked hot with that shade of blonde. He felt the need to explain himself, that this wasn’t his choice either.

“I know its kinda odd-“

Clint stopped mid-sentence, Bucky’s scent reaching him abruptly. He smelled him properly for the first time since yesterday, the outside wind had done a good job at hiding it. Thicker and heavier than he expected, it wrapped around the both of them, the taste of arousal unmistakable.

Wide eyed and surprised, Clint looked back at Bucky astonished. He felt the back of his neck warming up as his gaze didn’t peel away.

“What the fuck.”

Clint snapped towards the voice, and found the pilot staring at them, hand over his nose and mouth.

Holy shit.

This apparently had also broken Barnes’ stare, and Clint saw him look away as his scent toned down. Barnes’ lips thinned, his metal hand harshly clenching the handles of the bag he was holding.

Barnes went inside the helicopter without further comment, leaving Clint outside to fester in his stupor.

“Noted.” Clint muttered to himself, and followed him a few seconds after.

Clint and Barnes stood there, and looked at the apartment building in front of them as the taxi that took them there squealed away. Clint thought how it honestly didn’t look half bad. Sure, it was old, and looked a bit ugly, but Clint had been used to sleeping in places that looked much worse for wear than this one. Places where you could hear rats scratching the walls from the inside, and occasionally see a roach or two scurrying on the floor. Where people high out of their mind were passed out right at the front door of the building or in the middle of the hallway.

This was definitely run down, but it was fine.

Barnes went ahead of him, and walked up to the main entrance without saying anything. Clint bit his cheek at the obvious avoidant behavior, staring at him for a moment before following him. It’s not like Clint had any right to be annoyed at it, since he was the one who started that.

He could understand it on a certain level. To their detriment, they flew commercial, given that they were going undercover. And being in a confined space with Barnes only one seat away from him was almost torturous. The constant smell coming from him never really dissipated as much as he had hoped for, and spiked every now and then. It made Clint want to gouge his eyes out in frustration. His nails were almost bitten to the hilt by the two hour mark. At that point he decided to ask the flight attendant for the strongest alcohol they had. When she brought him a small bottle of vodka, he thanked her, and just held the open lid of it right under his nose for the rest of the flight.

But, even then, he was expecting Barnes to be more talkative than this. The helicopter ride, four hour flight, and the one hour and a half drive down to the apartment, had been a long awkward silence. After the first words Clint had said to him, Barnes never bothered to speak. He sat at the opposite side of the helicopter, and even wore a surgical mask throughout the whole flight. Every now and then, Clint would ask a question, are you sure this is the right gate?, or make a superficial comment, look at the price on these fucking water bottles . But all he would get back would be a small hum in agreement.

It was driving him insane to be on the other side of the coin.

Anyway, if Barnes was being infuriating on purpose, Clint was not going to fold backwards to meet his need to act like a pussy. Nevermind that that was exactly what Clint had been doing for the past 2 weeks .

Their apartment was located on the highest floor. They had easy access to the roof, the height of the building could be used as a vantage point to survey the streets below, and, if they were compromised, it would give them a longer time to escape through other means.

Barnes’ opened the door unceremoniously, and the inside of the apartment was as mundane as someone could imagine. An open floor plan and it wasn’t as small as Clint had imagined. On the right there was a full kitchen, equipped with an oven, a microwave, a full-sized fridge, and even a simple coffee machine, which he was glad to see. The kitchen faced a square wooden table with 3 chairs sitting around it. And on the far right was a long couch facing a TV pushed against the wall. The living space opened to a hallway, and Clint could see it led to three doors, which he assumed were the two bedrooms and the bathroom.

“Fridge and pantry are full.” Barnes’ said, and Clint almost jumped, not expecting to hear his voice. He looked back at him, and noticed he had already opened all the cabinets in the kitchen, “And we are fully stocked.”

Clint peered from where he was standing near the couch, where he had dropped his belongings. Barnes had moved aside, the door of what seemed like a pantry closet opened. Guns and weapons of all shapes and sizes were hanging off the wall inside.

Clint made a low whistle before heading to the windows. Sliding one open, he tested the locks. Firm, but breakable under someone who knew what they were doing. He pressed his hands against the window pane, and then knocked on it.

“Windows are bullet-proof.” He commented.

He was met with another one of Barnes’ hums.

They swept the apartment, checking every nook and cranny. Clint would like to think that they were meticulous, looking for anything out of place, like tiny mics or hidden cameras. When they found nothing after almost 30 minutes of looking, Clint went to grab his bag from the couch.

“I’ll take the room at the far end.” Clint said, and headed for it.

The bedroom was as boring as the rest of the apartment, with a double bed in the middle, a night stand on each side and a closet up against the wall. As he arranged everything in the drawers, he took a deep breath. He was already feeling overwhelmed and on edge, but grateful that Barnes’ scent was not invading the small space of the bedroom. Still, he eyed the gap between the door and the floor, and made a note of clogging it with blankets to ensure that it stayed that way.

It was gonna be a long couple of weeks.

He cracked the window open for good measure.

___

It took them less than an hour to settle properly in the apartment. And Clint, not being able to handle staying there with the crushing tension of their unresolved problems, told Barnes that they should check out the neighborhood and look into where this bar was.

If anything, Barnes was efficient, so he didn’t hesitate to accept the request and a couple of minutes later they were strolling out on the streets.

The neighborhood they were staying at was similar their building, lower-middle class in every sense of the word. Lots of small alleys and old housing decorated the streets. Littering seemed to be a norm of sorts. The smell of burning trash clinged to his nostrils, and Clint wasn’t sure if he should be grateful or not.

They had a bit of a more pressing manner, people were staring at them, him to be precise. An old lady shot him a dirty look, literally clutching her cardigan and making a disapproving noise, loud enough that they could hear as she walked by them.

At that, Clint followed her with his eyes as she moved further down the street.

“What the fuck is her problem?” He asked, annoyed.

He turned to Barnes, who hadn’t even turned to look back at the old woman, and he shrugged, looking tired.

“We are in the south.” Barnes answered simply.

Ah.

Clint wouldn’t necessarily call himself sheltered, he was from Iowa after all. But spending most of his late childhood to the end of his teenage years in the non-judgemental world that is a circus. And then immediately being recruited by SHIELD, where no-one really gave a shit about who you were, might have put him inside a bubble.

Literally and metaphorically, he got shielded from most discrimination connected to his second gender, even if he knew about it, even if he witnessed it whenever he spent too much time in public with Tony. He thought of how most omegas used suppressants, not because they needed them, but because they were highly pressured to use them. Clint was just lucky enough to have his heats be mild enough that he never even gave them a second thought, and to have his doctors be ones approved by SHIELD.

Although now he wondered if they would help his situation with Barnes. He made a mental note to text Bruce about it later.

In places where people were more conservative, Omegas commonly wore things to hide their neck, like necklaces, collar, scarfs or turtleneck shirts. It was a traditional and primitive way of ‘protecting’ their virtue, and Clint was not fond of it at all.

Clint, who was wearing a hawaiian shirt with the first 4 buttons undone, chest half exposed to try and combat the summer temperatures, and was now getting some odd looks by the old locals.

“Damn hag.” Clint muttered, feeling more bothered by the comment than he expected. He picked up his pace and caught up to Barnes.

They did a proper sweep of the neighborhood, and concluded that it just was a common rundown lower class one.

Even though the encounter had unsettled Clint, it didn’t really throw him off. Atleast, no more than the prospect of spending his time here tiptoeing around Barnes. So, he made sure to extend the outing by going directly to the garage as soon as they came back.

The drive to downtown was mostly silent, with Clint humming to the songs playing on the radio while tapping on the the wheel. The car they were given was a pick-up truck, one that many people in Arizona seemed to have, inconspicuous and ugly.

Barnes sat next to him, map in hand and window completely down. Clint didn’t even try to start idle conversation anymore, he was just glad that Barnes at least was being cooperative enough to direct him through Albuquerque.

“It’s in the next block, stop here.” He said, leaning forward.

Clint did as told, parking in front of a random Dollar General.

They walked until they saw the recognizable “Merlin” sign. Pulling up his phone to compare it with the picture they had, Clint let out a sigh of relief. This bar, for being as popular as it seemed to be, didn’t exist on any maps, review apps, or sites. It was almost like it was deliberately wiped off of the internet, only being mentioned on some obscure subreddits about nightlife. It looked mostly the same, they might have painted the outside a deeper shade of purple, but the image was identical, so Clint was sure they were at the right place.

“This looks like a sex club.” Barnes commented.

“It might be,” Clint said, and scoffed, “Who knows what shit they get on in the VIP areas.” He went to take a step forward, but was stopped by a hand going around his waist.

The sudden touch and closeness made him jump, Barnes’ scent invading his space hastily. Immediately, Clint’s body reacted, and he felt himself melt a little towards him, his brain purring happily at the contact.

Before he could decide whether Barnes was going to keep his other arm, he looked up towards the building, searching for the camera, and noticed one right above the sign pointing at the street. Clint glanced at Barnes quickly, and kept a neutral face as he wrapped his own arm around his shoulders.

The warmness creeping on the back of his neck was obviously caused by the heat.

They walked closer to the building, Clint could make out a paper plastered on the inside of the glass door. He leaned closer to Barnes.

“I can see they have the schedule of their opening hours on the door.” Clint said, voice low and a playful smile plastered on his face.

Barnes closed his eyes for a second too long, before opening them and giving back a small smirk to Clint. “Let me get closer.”

Barnes’ left the space next to him, and Clint immediately became a bit cold, even though it was 95 degrees. He now vividly remembered why liking someone was just fucking annoying.

After a couple of seconds of him looking at it, he was back at his side, his hand fitting where it was before. Clint tried to ignore the way his own body relaxed.

“It opens from Thursday to Sunday night.” He said.

Trying not to curse at the fact that it was a Wednesday, Clint smiled lazily, “They do not care about the lord’s day.” He chuckled.

They continued walking down the street, unsure whether a camera could still be pointed at them. The moment they turned the corner of the block, Barnes separated himself, creating at least a meter of space between them.

Clint chose not to say anything about that, knowing that it was partially his fault that things had ended up like this. Still, it stung like a bitch.

They ended up going around the block to get back to their truck. The silence on the way back to their stay was even more deafening than before.

-----

Bruce: We could look into that.

Clint groaned and put his phone down, not liking the vague answer he got. The TV was on some local channel, and they were showing reruns of ‘El Autentico Rodrigo Leal’. So, Clint was trying his damndest to enjoy this extremely dramatic telenovela, not that he was being very successful at that. It was almost 10pm, and he wasn’t sure how well he was going to sleep anyway.

Barnes had been in his room since they came back, and to be completely honest, Clint was glad. It gave him the time needed to think about how to deal with this. He was honestly done with the silent treatment they were giving each other. The mission was going to last for who knows how long, and Clint would rather eat his own hair than continue to walk on eggshells around the only person he was going to be with for the time being.

He was wracking his brain on how and when he should broach the subject when he noticed Barnes blocking partially the TV. Clint, stunned at seeing him, looked up in confusion, and saw that Barnes was holding a cup of coffee towards him.

Clint blinked, not completely sure how to react, but took the cup anyway a moment later. Most of all he was surprised, given that he hadn’t realized Barnes had left his room, or that he had been making coffee right behind him. The apartment already reeked of him, so Clint only noticed his scent getting stronger once he was near. But the fact that he didn’t hear him, or saw him coming from the hallway was worrying. Was the TV that loud? Or was his mental state that bad?

Clint held up the cup to his nose to take a whiff. He couldn’t help the small smile at how nice it smelled.

“At this time of the night?” He asked, and took a swig of it.

Barnes took a seat at the other side of the small couch.

“Like you give a shit about that.” He said, another cup in his hand, “I was going to offer you a beer, but I don’t think alcohol is a good idea.”

Clint nodded in agreement. He wasn’t certain how to take this sudden approach from Barnes. He welcomed it, given the fact that it just made things easier, but he was still wary.

“What even is on?” Barnes asked him, gesturing at the TV.

Clint cleared his throat, and sat up straighter, “‘El Autentico Rodrigo Real’, a Colombian soap opera.” He said, “I can’t watch any episodes I haven’t watched before because Natasha would kill me if I did, but this channel is re-running episodes from the first season.”

Barnes tried to focus on what was going on the show, and then turned to Clint, a little confused, “Do you even know what they are saying?”

“Enough to understand what’s going on.” Clint answered, and shrugged, “Spanish is not so different from Italian.”

“You speak Italian?” Barnes asked, a bit astonished. Clint tried not to take offense to that.

He gave him a cocky smile, “Fluently, actually.”

Barnes hummed in response, and then didn’t say anything else. Clint was happy to pay attention to his soap opera, but as the silence stretched longer, he couldn’t help but remember the last time Barnes had made him coffee. He turned the now half-empty cup on his hand, and decided that maybe he could take the higher road this time.

Turning his whole body towards Barnes, he breathed deeply before speaking, “Is this…” Clint started, and raised the cup towards him, “another peace offering of yours?”

Barnes offered him a sincere smile, “If you want it to be.”

Clint looked back down at his cup, swirling its contents around as he thought about what to say next. There were many things he could say. Clint had made mistake after mistake, and had acted in ways that had just steered things in the wrong direction. All those times he had brushed Barnes away or answered him curtly, just made the problem worse. Or even back when they had found their precarious condition, and Clint had just wanted to deny its existence.

He had a lot to make up for. But Clint was not a noble nor virtuous man. All he knew was to face his problems with raised fists and bloody knuckles. And when that was not possible, he would always push them away, pretend that they weren’t there and hoped they would simply disappear.

Thinking about the easy smile Bucky had been giving to him all those times they would just sit and banter, made Clint’s heart stutter. Bucky’s scent being warm and smooth, wafting naturally as they interacted, untainted by the smell of anxiety. He was capable of admitting to himself that he missed it. That he missed their awkward and weirdly comfortable conversations. The slow loosening of their friendship, as it became more relaxed and simple.

And on top of it all, he knew Bucky deserved better than Clint’s severe communication issues.

In the end, he came to the conclusion that he wanted to start with a simple apology.

With his eyes closed and head hanging low, because he was a bit too much of a coward to look him in the eyes while saying sorry, Clint braced himself before speaking.

“I- “

“I wanted to apologize.”

At Barnes’ voice interrupting him, Clint looked up, gaze connecting with his.

“Okay.” He said, frozen on the spot and uncertain, not sure if he heard him correctly.

Bucky shifted on his seat, and left his cup at the coffee table. He clasped his hands together, with his elbows resting on his legs, “I shouldn’t have insulted you.” He continued, “I know I said I was angered, and to be honest, I still am, a little.”

Clint nodded at him, still in a bit of disbelief. The words he was gonna say stuck at the back of his throat.

“But, even then, you didn’t deserve that.” Bucky said, sincerely, “So, for that I am sorry.”

Clint looked away. Needing the bitter taste of the coffee to clear his head, he drank from his cup. He tried to remember when was the last time someone had apologized to him with words, and unsurprisingly he came up with nothing.

“I would say that it’s fine, but-” He started, and Clint decided to ride the train of sincerity, since they were already on it, “Not gonna lie, it did bother me.”

Bucky scratched the back of his neck, and sighed, “I know.”

Clint finished his coffee in one go, just so he could have some time to articulate his answer properly.

Although the fight was both of their faults, they wouldn’t have gotten to this point if it wasn’t for Clint’s need to be aggravating and petty. Sometimes, having the last word felt too good, especially when he felt like he needed retribution. Looking at how long he dragged this out, Clint was sure that this was more than enough.

Clint breathed deeply before speaking, “Well, I wanted to apologize too.” He said, his voice steady, “I wasn’t being fair to you, and just… made the situation worse by acting like an asshole.”

The self-deprecating joke at the end was an attempt at lightening the mood.

A small smile formed on Bucky’s face, “I thought you only admitted your mistakes to your therapist.”

Clint snorted and let himself relax into the couch, his head resting on the back of it. A sense of relief washed over him, and he felt a weight being lifted from his chest. God, he really had to stop being insufferable just because of his wounded ego. If not for the sake of others, for the sake of his own peace of mind.

“Sometimes I have enough presence of mind to understand when I have to take my head out of my ass.” Clint muttered back.

Bucky huffed, and didn’t answer anything back. Thinking that the conversation was over, Clint turned his attention back to the sound of the soap opera.

“I… um-“

Clint’s attention bounced back to Bucky, who looked nervous.

“I also wanted to tell you that, what I saw in the common room-“

Oh God .

Clint jolted up-right.

“Please, don’t-“

Just the mere mention of it made him nauseous.

“Clint-”

“It’s fine-” He felt as it became difficult to get the words out, the shame of what happened clawing its way through his throat.

Barnes, although hadn’t moved an inch, looked increasingly more concerned. At that, Clint almost reacted violently, the thought that what Barnes was showing could be pity, immediately making anger start to simmer.

Instead of letting that brew, he focused on his own breathing, and tried to appear calm.

“Can we just forget that ever happened?” Clint asked him, “Please.”

Barnes didn’t look completely convinced, but he must’ve seen something in Clint’s expression, because after a moment, he sighed and looked away, letting it go.

Clint let his eyes close, his heart rate finally slowing down. He threw himself back onto the sofa, wishing that Barnes had brought him that beer instead of the coffee that was already gone.

“What did Steve tell you?” Barnes asked abruptly, after a minute or so of silence.

Clint, knowing very well what he was asking, frowned at him, “What does Steve have to do in all of this?”

Barnes just stared at him. Clint stared back blatantly, partially because he did not want to say anything, and mostly because he still liked being abrasive. When Barnes didn’t look away, or seemed inclined to take back his question, Clint sighed.

“He just wanted to know what happened between you and me.” Clint stated the truth, feeling tired of lying. He then snorted, looking back at Bucky with a smirk, “And… you are right, he unironically thinks we should hang out more often.”

“That’s all?” Bucky retorted, edging Clint to speak more.

Clint’s eyes shifted to the ceiling. He thought back to the conversation they had, back to Steve’s attempts of comforting him. It hadn’t helped as much as Clint would’ve liked it to, in the end it had served to deepen the hole he had been burying himself in. Steve had basically said that Bucky was rejecting him, that he didn’t want him, and that the idea of wanting him was out of the table. Maybe not explicitly, but it definitely felt like that was what he meant.

And that was the reality. This whole situation was caused by something out of their control. They were thrusted into a too small of a cage, forced to circle each other at the edges, clawing at the walls until one of them caved into the helplessness of it. It wasn’t anyone's fault, neither of them had wanted to be there. And it wasn’t Bucky’s fault that Clint was the one to give in first.

It’s the way it has to be, right?

“He said that you were ashamed of what happened.” Clint stated, matter-of-factly, still staring up.

“Ah.”

Clint turned his head back towards Bucky, cheek against the couch, eyebrows scrunched together. Bucky’s scent had gone from mostly neutral to having an undertone of mustiness, of guilt. An anxious feeling settled on Clint’s guts.

“So, it's true.” He said, hating how the hurt in his voice betrayed his stoicism.

“Yes.” Bucky admitted, and Clint didn’t flinch, “But, not in the way you think.”

“Help me here then,” Clint urged, “before I get more offended.”

A silence stretched between them as Bucky seemed to ponder what to tell him. The smell of must continued to grow between them, and Clint had to bite his tongue to stop himself from asking him if he was ok.

When Clint thought that maybe Bucky was never going to speak, he finally did .

“I lost control.” Bucky muttered, voice low.

Clint’s mind went blank for a couple of seconds.

His head left the back of the couch, and he sat up, turning his whole body towards Bucky’s. He frowned deeply, eyes wide.

“What?” Clint asked, a bit confused.

Bucky didn’t seem to look relieved at Clint’s bewilderment, or less guilty. Instead, he just looked down to where Clint’s hands were resting on the couch.

“I wasn’t… present, not completely.” He explained. “Everything seemed muddled, and I could only focus on your scent, on your body…”

Bucky’s whole body was rigid, his fingers digging into his thighs. His jaw clenched as he swallowed forcefully. It looked like speaking at the moment was as if someone was pulling his teeth out.

“I was already on top of you when I came back to my senses.” He said, voice strained, “And, I could finally feel the grip I had on you… the strength behind it.”

Pulling his hands up to inspect them, Clint had a flash of their incident on the mats. A vivid memory of Bucky on top of him, face close enough that his breath tickled Clint’s nose, came to the front of his mind. Clint recalled the small moment in which Bucky had tightened his hold on his wrists, it had lasted less than a second.

Clint shook his head, wrapping a hand against his wrist, moving it around.

“That’s nothing, they're barely bruised.” Clint tried to reassure him.

It didn’t seem like it worked.

“Clint, I wasn’t using that much strength-“

“I sure fucking hope so. I don't want broken bones.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood,

His mouth shut harshly when he was met with the hard gaze of Bucky’s expression. Clint averted his eyes.

“I’ll shut up.” He mumbled.

“I didn’t realize. At least I don’t remember that I did.” Bucky said, defeat and shame dripping from his words, “And I don't know which one I find more worrying, the possibility that I didn’t use that much strength and I still bruised you, or that I was so out of it that I didn’t register it.”

If the expression on his face wasn’t enough, a hint of a metallic smell, hidden between Bucky’s scent, reached him. And Clint froze, trying to process that what Bucky was feeling was fear.

As always, he tried to play it down.

“Don’t you think you are being a little drama-“

“Look, I am strong, at least 10 times stronger than you- that’s not an insult- and it’s not like I haven’t had sex since I stopped being The Winter Soldier, but I always have had to have a certain level of control over it.”

Bucky deflated, and hid his face with one of his hands. He just looked tired, shoulders hunched, and looking somewhere distant. Another type of weight settled on top of Clint’s chest, tying his tongue.

Bucky exhaled long and deeply, before locking his gaze with Clint’s.

“And I don’t have that guarantee with you. At all. If being in the same room as you is already a test of my self control…” Bucky continued, “I have no idea if I’d be able to do it in another… circumstances. And I can’t go through that, not again.”

The last part sounded almost like he was begging. Taking in his whole demeanor, Clint understood that what had happened at the gym, had shook Bucky deeply. That it scared him.

“So, when I said I didn’t want to risk it, I meant it.” He told him. “It could’ve taken a turn for the worst…”

Clint looked away, feeling that Bucky’s stare was too much to handle at the moment.

Being part of a group of extraordinary people sometimes gave Clint imposter syndrome. He was constantly among the strongest, smartest, and weirdest people in the world. It wasn’t a surprise that people like him could easily go under the radar, especially in comparison to the big shots that surrounded him. But he wasn’t weak. He had earned his place working for SHIELD for several reasons, and the fact that Bucky was acting like he was easily breakable didn’t sit right with Clint.

He bit his tongue so he wouldn’t start another argument, his ego wounded again by Bucky’s implication.

Clint gave into a coy smile, willing to forget the insult in order of getting over their discussion.

“I’m just saying, you don’t know if I’m into freaky stuff-”

“Clint-“

“I’m joking.” Clint relented, laughing, his smile not faltering.

Now that Bucky had his hair short, he could see the slight flush that had appeared on the tip of his ears. And Clint wondered if they were like that whenever he would make a pass at him, conveniently hidden underneath the mane that he used to have.

Bucky still seemed a bit unnerved, his jaw tense and scent still a little musty.

Clint’s smile turned softer, and he felt the recognizable emptiness filling his stomach.

“I understand very well the need to keep shit under your own control.” Clint added, voice knowing.

Bucky hummed in agreement, “A side effect of brain-washing?” He quipped.

Clint barked a laugh, smile widening, “Amen.”

Bucky laughed with him, and Clint couldn’t believe he had been so stubborn when he could've evaded weeks of tension and bitterness. When he could’ve had this, Bucky’s scent finally ridding itself from that invasive undertone. At that, Clint felt himself relax a little more. And in that moment of relief he found that he didn’t care that much about it.

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