#i hurt every hurt and im tired

[starlightkun]

🎶🛌

#i hurt every hurt and im tired #im gonna get ice cream tomorrow if it kills me 😤😤😤 #also will probably do word in a wip tomorrow....all strawberry sunday au wips will b fair game #vamp kun...werewolf jeno.......dragon jisung..........every1 #anyway gn yallll.......finally sleep 😴😴😴😴😴 #talk #tunes #mine #not nct #ignore.mel #Spotify

[lizzieraindrops]

You know what, I figured out why we're having so many errors in Destiny 2 now. It's because with the addition of Micah-10, we've finally reached a critical mass of women with drop dead gorgeous voices, and the game simply can't handle it anymore. It's like Telesto. Too powerful. If they'd actually put Ikora Rey in a rendered cutscene for more than 5 seconds it would have shut down the servers for good

#destiny 2 #destiny the game #destiny spoilers #the final shape #the final shape spoilers #micah 10 #ikora rey #eris morn #mara sov #elsie bray #savathûn #we're really quite spoiled for women with amazing voices #you know what we're Not spoiled for? #ikora rey being allowed to be part of the fucking story #look its a fantastic expansion ok. #its just incredibly galling that my least favorite thing is Also happening alongside it. #once again ikora gets shoved out of the limelight in favor of everyone else #gets relegated back to emotional support #is allowed one Tiny outburst of her own hurt feelings only for it to be swept under the rug because there are always Bigger Problems #why didnt we get to hear from ophiuchus? #we got beautiful interactions between every other guardian and their ghost #literally everyone else got a nightmare gauntlet exploring their insecurities and flaws #but no ikora gets to quietly meditate and fail to commune with the traveler #and then cayde gets to contact it instead #all i wanted this expansion was some emotional resolution for ikora #i was so excited after her reunion scene with cayde i was like oh god we're really doing it! #but no. no no. #the sexism of it. the racism of it. the misogynoir #im so tired this has happened in every goddamn fandom ive been in for the past decade #sourghost.jpeg

[lastoneout]

I know the answer is "radfems and terfs poisoned the well" but I really wonder when the general direction of modern feminism went from "we can get men who otherwise wouldn't be on our side to change their minds by pointing out that men suffer under the patriarchy too, and that feminism isn't about switching the power balance or replacing the patriarchy with some sort of man-hating matriarchal society, but to destroy the system and harms ALL of us" to "actually I hate men and I think they should suffer and I should get to be a huge asshole to them 24/7 because I'm a woman and letting me be a horrid bitch to half the population with no regard for intersectionality is justice actually"

I just hate seeing how much terfs and radfems have completely fucked up entire branches of important conversations with their bullshit and knowing how it's not only hurting trans women, it's hurting ALL OF US and it's exhausting to constantly remind people of all the other radfem and terf dogwhistles only to see them getting spread around again and again disguised as progress

#Im so tired of immediately thinking 'that's probably a radfem' every time I see posts about misogyny and feminism #we need to have these conversations and we just fucking CAN'T anymore #like we gotta be good allies to trans women but we also need to remeber that they arent the only people terfs are hurting #and that terfs and radfems are very good at disguising their rhetoric as actual progressive ideas #that's why you see so many feminists who actually do care about women's rights #turn into terfs and radfems #bcs they're that good at indoctrinating people so long as they don't lead with the hating trans people stuff

[napping-sapphic]

God i’m thinking about how easily and unknowingly strangers can grant you salvation like i found it in how my old classmate told me once that i was a kind person and it was the first time i’d ever believed it

in how a coworker once said that i always seem so happy and have a nice smile and i cried about it when i got home since i’d always been told i seem too serious or mean

in how someone once told me i was good at comforting them when i’d always thought i was bad at it

Just god they’re out there somewhere and i barely remember what they looked like and we’ll never cross paths again but they changed me so deeply, they’re out there but they’ll never know how often i revisit those memories and think of myself even just a little more kindly they’re out there and i don’t know them but they’re the most important people in the world to me somehow

#me?? having a Night™️?? more likely than you’d think #im missing the people i never really knew #and im stuck echoing their words to myself #it’s honestly so important to hear things from people who don’t have an agenda to hurt you #who didn’t form a perspective of you at 14 and never let it go #i dont know #it’s just insane how badly ive always felt about myself #how inherently true i thought it was that i was mean or cold or unlikeable #only to have so many people tell me differently the past few years #and i still feel so mean and cold and unlikeable so often because of the people close to me!! #and i probably will forever to some extent!! #and it’s such an awful feeling #but just knowing even one person saw me as kind or happy is such a balm to that pain #that even if every person i meet from here on out found me flawed #there was at least one that saw kindness and joy in me?? that’s healing #idk #idk im emotional and tired and just want to believe i can be a good person sometimes #and sometimes i feel like that one ‘you’re so nice’ i received three years ago is the only thing holding me together sometimes #god just ignore me

[soldier-poet-king]

'im doing so well! I'm never happy or motivated in January!'

I was soon to realize the folly of this hubris however....

#Was it mild mania?? who knows!!! #i cried at work this morning!!! #its ok I still am gonna be the buff gnc butch of my dreams #but like the shine of mania has worn off #and now im just kinda tired and my head hurts and my heart hurts and im weepy #i hate being weepy but i am fundamentally a weepy person #spotify. play mistki abbey on repeat. 🤡 #gonna workout and then embroider when i get home. and pretend i do not feel like a fake non person :)))) #u know its bad bc i am no longer hungry. i always stop feeling hungry when the mania fades #tmi ngl folks but i think i probablt have pmdd on top of all my other brain shit #bc its like my prozac just. stops working. i could just not be taking it for a few days every month #ONCE AGAIN. ANOTHER REASON I DONT NEED OR WANT THIS SHIT. FUCK THE GENDER OF IT FR #the duality of Fran

[his-littlefox]

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

#im so sick of living in a religious house :(( #im sure its the reason for almost all my mental health problems and i cant even discuss it #i wanna respect my religion sm bc my familys believes in it sm but idk how long id be able to take it #i dont even realize how completely drained and numb ive become until im not at home #i have a pretty house loving mom and dad and three siblings and yet ive never felt so alone #its like i dont even know the girl who lives here #she feels nothing she reacts at nothing even talking feels like a chore to her #honestly i miss myself #i miss everything about me #religious values stupid expectations the constant judgment and need to mold me into something #im so tired of it 😭😭 #i just wanna live plsss #i dont know when my life will even begin #when will i have a life that’s my own?? #without a thousand ppl weighing it down #no one here lets me live 😭😭 #sometimes i wish id get kidnapped or smth #or id get lost #but i dont wanna hurt my mom and dad i love them sm!! #every night i hope to wake up somewhere else in a pretty fairytale <33 #im sure it’ll happen someday!! #sometimes im so sure itll happen the next day but it hasn’t yet… #i believe in magic and miracles #but sometimes the constant negativity of my home weighs me down so much :(( #i know i just have to keep believing to escape!! #maybe my hope isn’t strong enough yet but i know it will be someday!! #ik id one day wake up in a cute life <3 #i try so hard to be happy here but ughh sometimes i need to rant #daphnie rambles 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

[bunnihearted]

🐌🍓

#im so sad bc i realized that my mom doesnt want to spend time w me #like every time i ask if we can watch a movie she looks so relucant nd she sighs nd says 'ugh rlly' #when i try to ask if we can take a walk or go visit a parc etc etc she looks tired nd bithered #bothered* #i didnt want to realize that but after this 'fight' bwteen my sisters nd i.. i realized it rlly #she's sick of me. she doesnt want to hang out w me. she sees it as a burden #bc why else does she do easily do things w my sisters but when i ask she doesnt want to??? #it makes me rlly sad #truly no one likes spending time w me or being w me #feel so hurt :< if my own mom doesnt wanna hang out w me.... why would anyone else :(

[scrollypoly]

Hey guys on ed tumblr or other related sub groups. Dont use tags like this

Im not gonna judge for content cuz this isnt what this post is about. Please just type normal tags, like #ed content or similar. Especially for trigger warning tags, please just put #tw eating disorder or #self harm tw

And update them with every new blog just to avoid being triggered or worse. Please dont tag like this, please just use normal tags.

This is tag spam, it violates tumblrs community guidelines and is reportable. It also circumvents tag filtering, which is malicious and will put your potentially triggering content in front of people trying to block it. I have been exposed to ED content multiple times against my will, especially in cottagecore tags, and have randomly seen explicit photos on my dash from followed tags of self harm. Its incredibly distressing and triggering, and we shouldn't have to have filter lists like this

#tw ed #tw self harm #my posts #i struggle with what i believe is an eating disorder and having posts about thinspo and purging come on my dash #is incredibly distressing and hurtful to me #and i am tired of sitting on these blogs and trying to type out every tag into my filter list #only to see new variants of these tags in the numerous aesthetic tags i follow #stop it this is a violation of community guidelines and will hurt people who are susceptible to this #im trying to be nice

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

me when i get sleepy: oh my fuckisbg god no one understands me like ryan ross does and also i love my best friend more than breathing

#also applies to me when i have a migraine #and also me every second of every dya but its. its an amplified wmotion when im tired or my head hurts #anyways did you all know how much i love my best friend?? because this us extremely important information that you all Must be aware of

[tmnt-obsessed-ace]

Why do people hate 2012 Splinter? I just found a fanfic that bashed 2012 Splinter so badly I nearly cried. They painted Splinter as a bad father and very homophobic. I don’t understand. They are plenty of episodes where Splinter proved that he was a good father. Yes, there are some episodes where Splinter should have handled the situation a little better, but people make mistakes. That’s what makes him a good character. He makes mistakes. The homophobic part, I don’t understand at all. Splinter is strict, but not that strict. He would be accepting of his children’s decisions. If any of the turtles or their friends came out, he would be proud of them for accepting of who they are.

I even seen another fanfic on Ao3 where the turtles were nothing more than soldiers. Not brothers or even a family. That angered me so badly I just stopped reading TMNT fanfics for a while. Didn’t the author watch the show? There are episodes throughout the seasons until his death where he grounded or forbade the turtles from leaving the lair because he feared for their safety. In the Season 2 finale, Splinter attacked Shredder because he believed that Shredder killed Leo. (From my perspective.) And as for training them? They are mutants. He wanted them to have a way to defend themselves. He knew that he will not always be around to protect them.

Honestly I dont know anon. I genuinely dont understand that either. Like yes Splinter made mistakes but he is not NEARLY as awful as the fandom says he is. He's a good kind loving parent.

And the funny part is that it only seems to be 2012 Splinter who gets this treatment. Especially from Rise fans.

Like they will go on essays and essays defending Rise Splinter to the end of the earth because "he's heavily traumatized"

And then they turn around and VILIFY 2012 Splinter when guess what? HE IS ALSO HEAVILY TRAUMATIZED!

His brother murdered his wife, kidnapped his daughter and burned down his HOME. That is highly traumatizing.

Splinter knows the world is a dangerous place, his entire LIFE got upended all in a single night because of one man. And then the Kraang are actively hunting him and the turtles down in their first months. He HAD to train them in order to defend themselves because he couldnt just keep them underground for their entire lives. (Plus I think a part of it was him trying to keep his culture and the last of his clan alive because the entire Hamato clan almost got WIPED OUT/joined Shredder.)

And the whole thing about him being homophobic? That just feels really racist to me? Like the asian parent would automatically be homophobic. Even though Splinter knows first hand what it feels like to be shunned for something you cannot control.

The fandom can be very tiring sometimes and Im so sick of all the slander these characters get

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt splinter #im so tired of the tmnt fandom sometimes #and every time I see another ao3 fic tagged 'bad parent Splinter' 'mediocore parent Splinter' 'Splinter being a horrible parent' #I die a little more inside #it just hurts man

[trans-estinien]

people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild

#“not all men” is a valid statement because its fucking true #like guys. seriously. not every single man is evil #feminism isnt about putting men down its about raising women up to be equal and getting rid of gender inequality #sorry im seeing a massive uptick in people hating on trans men for being men lately and its fucking stupid #like yall are doing a great job at making me feel ashamed to be a man who likes men. awesome thanks guys #i dont normally make posts like this but its been rattling around in my mind for a few days now #its always put out like. all men (trans or not) are Inherently Evil and all women (trans or not) are Inherently Victims #which is absolutely the stupidest shit ive ever seen #and they also leave out anyone who doesnt fit into the man/woman dichotomy. and if they dont its always seen as woman lite #which is also stupid as fuck #not every nb/agender/other person is feminine asshole #anways. case in point. can we stop demonizing masculinity while also discussing the effects of misogyny and the patriarchy please. #because both of those things are very real and very much do hurt people #but im sick of people lashing out at trans men as if the problem magically doesn't affect us anymore because we are men #because guess what! newsflash! it affects trans AND cis men too!! #i shouldnt have to explain it should be obvious but like. im tired man #sorry ill forever be annoyed at women who just hate every single man who dares breathe in their direction because they COULD be an asshole #if you hate someone because of their gender no matter what gender it is i Do Not Trust You #anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk. replies are off cause i dont want to argue with people i just want to express my opinion

[piplupod]

why do counsellors think it's helpful to tell you "you shouldn't feel that way!" when you tell them something like "I am so stressed about spiders to the point where i have crying breakdowns thrice a week" or "I feel like I am somehow secretly a terrible person that needs to push everyone away to keep them safe from the rot that is inside of me"

like ... golly gee, thank you so much, that's soooo helpful, can't believe i never thought "wow! i shouldn't be feeling this way!" before, pretty crazy that you can just cure me with that one declaration!

#GIRL IF I KNEW HOW TO STOP FEELING THIS WAY I WOULD BE FINE !!! I WOULDNT BE TALKIN ABOUT IT WITH YOU #like okay yes. that is a good STARTING statement. but can u give me... something actionable perhaps. please. #instead of essentially just shaming me for my feelings hsdgjkl #i KNOW these feelings and thoughts are ''wrong'' and unhelpful and unhealthy and hurting me. but like... what do i DO with them... #''i feel like a bad person'' ''well you arent so you shouldnt feel that way :)'' ''....okay great thanks so much see you next week'' ????? #such wise words from a trained professional! /sarcasm #idk man i think that my stories and characters have been far more helpful in therapizing me than actual trained professionals ever have #these ppl do not know what to do with me it seems like #i get so frustrated every time i hear ''you're so self aware!'' bc that seems to be therapist language for ''idk what to do for you'' #or ''i can't help you. you are beyond my capabilities as a trained mental health professional who went to school for years'' #im TIRED. im so tired !!! #anyways im just dreading my appt later today fdjgkl i like this lady more than the last one but she hasn't been very helpful so far #starting to resign myself to the fact that maybe i am just too fucked up to be helped fdsjkl like man. im just stuck this way i guess #unless i can figure out how to fix me on my own then i think im just fucked #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[orcgirlcock]

i need to kiss someone right now. i need to hold their face as i lean in for the kiss. i need to feel their lips against mine and have our tongues slide across each other. i need to feel the slight hesitation before they finally give in and kiss me back with everything they've got. i need to feel the saliva stringing between our mouths. i need to feel their hands pulling me closer, desperate to feel all of me

#i just woke up from a dream where one of my friends wanted to kiss me but was too shy about it #but i could tell they wanted it so i gently rubbed their face and leaned in most of the way #and let them close the distance. they were still nervous until i slipped my tongue into their mouth #in which case all worry left their head and they kissed me back proper #and it was everything I've ever wanted in a kiss. but now im awake completely unkissed #I'm tired of getting teased by my dreams like that.. #i get stuck with all this vivid passionate imagery and no fucking outlet #i feel so pathetic yearning this hard but all my peers have had their first kisses #friends that i wanted to kiss going and kissing eachother in front of me just for the hell of it #the girlfriend i dated for longest refused to kiss me. i got like. maybe 2 cheek kisses? never once on the lips #even when i asked she would say no. i dont resent her for it but Man did it hurt #the closest I've ever gotten was one of my friends shotgunning me hits from his bong #every time my heart flutters and i want to kiss him for real #ive just been searching for someone to kiss me for a very long time #and ive just never found them...

[soldier-poet-king]

I literally just do not understand how full grown ass adults go thru life like this. 0 self reflection. 0 concern about the impact of their behaviours on others. Continuing said behaviours even when they're pointed out as hurtful. Like????

#the duality of fran #idk its like the every few months i realize i sort of forgive my parents #bc things could be much worse #and they didnt MEAN to be hurtful. theyre just immature and selfish #they're not deliberately being like that #like their behaviour comes from a place of hurt and insecurity #and Yet its been pointed out SOOOO many times how bad it has affected me #and theyre always so guilt trippy woe is me when it's brought up #and maybe theyre trying. but honestly folks???? I DONT SEE ANY PROGRESS #like I cant cut them off i need somewhere to live + need somewhere to fall back on #once i move out. in case yknow. financial disaster (sh we are not thinking about my fears of financial instability that they left me with) #but like. ffs. ffs yall. I AM SO ANGRY #AND HURT #and im tired of being angry and hurt about stuff that isnt ever going to CHANGE #its a wound you know is there but it vant ever heal it just. prods and prods and prods #like the tldr of u can have a severely traumatizing shitty upbringing without ur parents being actually abusive #and it just adds this extra layer of guilt and complicated feelings on top of it all #like #please. just get a fuckin divorce. oh my god. also maybe dont have four kids while barely above the poverty line. #and then harp on your kids for every single perceived flaw or financial burden they incur. just. yknow. a thought

[clfixationstation]

great, just found out my constant efforts to combat my ADHD are not working and I'm still accidentally hurting the people I care about. I hate it here. I just don't want to hurt people why is that so hard...

I thought I was doing such a good job, I'm constantly trying to make sure I'm responding to people adequately because I've been yelled at so much over it and I really want to make people feel valued and make sure they know I'm giving them my attention. I work so hard to not interrupt others during conversation, I try so hard to maintain attention to conversations, I try so hard to pay attention to my surroundings so that I don't ignore friends, I try so hard to push past rejection sensitivity so that I can help people - but apparently it's all useless

I guess I'd rather know. I'll still keep trying. It just really hurts

#cl talks #adhd #inattentive adhd #vent post #idk bro #I dont know what to do anymore #every time i think I've found people that accept me and my traits it turns out they resent them #even my family #as much as i know they love me #chastise me and resent me for things i cannot control #everyrhing hurts and im so tired #i haven't been able to make myself eat or do any basic living tasks today #and i don't think she noticed #i think she just took it personally #like a sign i don't care about her #when it's just a sign I'm struggling #and could really use her help like I'm always helping her #^referring to my dear friend and roommate #adhd issues #adhd inattentive #ow

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one? #the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone