#i hope to gods this isn't my last

[definitelynotadirath]

Vrishchak

The baby had been crying its eyes out again. He couldn't say if it was the cold getting to it or hunger. The child could let its needs be known but who could he complain to? A low chuckle escaped the cloaked figure, amused at such a plight.

They had been travelling for weeks now, falling behind any caravan that wouldn't drive them away. The lone father with a child didn't draw pitiful gazes, only suspicious glances of strangers along the road. Hefty prices for leftover food, sadistic guards with twisted humor and the disdain of other travellers only added to the troubles.

He took another look at the infant's face and remorse replaced dry humor. Poor child, born as his son. Might as well be cursed, better off unborn. The love he had indulged in only held misery now.

With that thought, he fell into silent reminiscence.

*****************************************************

She lifted the covers and a sweet nectarine smell wafted up from the pot. Her customers were getting soft, letting up on their drinks like that. Shyalika's Madhushala (Shyalika's Winehouse) wasn't comparable to the Capital's lowest pleasure house, but it was the best Antapur had to offer.

Antapur was far from the capital but not close enough to the border. That meant travelers were few and the same merchants coming to and fro. The only customers she'd have would all be regulars, the rich who could live in luxury.

That meant business was good for her. It didn't boom in festivals or rise on occasions, but steady business was good business.

Shyalika continued putting away the pots. A tipped over cup would remind her of some wayward lecher clutching her hand, trying to get lucky. A shudder would pass through her at the memory. But she would shield herself again, with the same resolve with which she would have such people thrown out of her establishment. The girls were an open treasure, but she was off limits. The whole town knew that by now.

Closing for the night would take up an hour or so, and she could leave until dawn changed to dusk. But today a knock stopped her. Perhaps a drunk who lost track of time, back for more.

She opened the door to find an unexpected traveller standing before her. Clad in a black cloak, a ghost of the past stood there A bit skinnier than she had seen him before, with the hardships of his life plain on his face. She was shocked into silence. Like a greeting the figure moved the cloak aside, revealing a sleeping infant in the same state as the man who held him. That sight brought her back from the trance and she beckoned him in. She cleared out a space and bade him sit there. And then they stared at each other for a moment until Shyalika broke the silence.

"You're… alive," she said slowly.

The man smiled. "Yes, or maybe you drank too much."

She paused again. "The child?"

"Mine"

"The mother?"

"Dead"

"Your wife?"

Silence.

"Where have you been all th-"

"What good will it do? You don't even want to know." He said, his eyes narrowing in annoyance.

"All you need to know," he continued," is that I am here to ask something from you."

"And what would that be?" She asked, with an inkling of the impending request.

"Take this child."

That was the last straw for her.

"Why? Just because you tell me to? Why should I listen to you?" she snapped back.

"You died for me when you left. Then you came back to see me. And then you left. This time I thought you were gone for good. And here you are again, all grown up and with a child in your arms. You left me and had a life of your own. Now you bring this baby to me and expect me to just take him in without asking anything? Who do you take yourself to be? A real emperor just because you're named so? TELL ME! Why I should listen to you?"

Samrat's frown softened. His eyes relaxed and he looked tired. The stern man slipped away and in his place was now someone she recognised. The young boy, too shy to talk back to people. The boy who enjoyed her company, who would make sweet promises to her ages ago. Under the trees, beside the river, up on the hills, the time they spent together rushed back into her mind, putting the usually resolute woman in turmoil.

"The last time I saw you," he began, "I had become a spy for the king, a vrischak. A glorified name for mere tools, stripped of their humanity. When the delusion of righteousness wore off, I wanted to leave it all and be free. The closest to freedom I ever felt was when I could be with… her. We ran and hid, trying to escape from the inevitable sting that sought its own twisted justice" he said, in a voice that betrayed the suppressed rage.

"We ran away and never looked back. I'd always find familiar eyes stalking every move we made in hiding. Some were merciful, letting us run. But eventually, we had to stop. We settled in a place almost like this town. She gave birth there… but she couldn't…" he choked up.

"With her gone, escape was easier. But I want this child to be free of my shadow, free of the fate that awaits me. Please, take him in. I beg you." he pleaded, his eyes welling up, "You can make him your servant. You don't have to treat him as your child. Just let him live. Please."

Shyalika pondered something in silence. Then, she spoke up.

"I didn't marry anyone, ever since you left. Hoping for a childish dream to come true and here I am, raising your child whom I did not bear. Fine. I have lived alone here and braved the wars. The famines too. A child of an unknown father makes no difference."

Samrat's face cheered up, in the sad way it always had.

"But tell me this, vrishchak. What do you intend to do once you leave?" she asked, her steely gaze fixed on him.

Samrat returned the look, with a dark look in his eyes that seemed to betray no emotion but one. He said one word:

"Revenge"

#fiction #original content #original writing #original story #original fiction #story #writing #writers #ancient india #indian #mauryan #golden age #sanskrit #sad #trying my hand at writing a piece inspired by Rajat Pillai's novel I had read as a child #i hope to gods this isn't my last

[skellagirl]

Gordon/Barney/Alyx is really really funny to me conceptually bc it's like, two hot geniuses in their 20s who look at the 40-something smartass who hangs around and go 'yeah that guy. we both want him carnally'

#and they're SO right #half life #half life 2 #gordon freeman #alyx vance #barney calhoun #freemance #valhoun #freehounce #idk what the hell their poly ship name is sorry lol #(me. posting about a ship with an age gap on the 'can't be normal about age gap ships' website: #SURE HOPE THERE ISN'T ANY AGE GAP DISCOURSE IN HERE) #this was the first time I've drawn any of these characters in LITERAL YEARS and. wow........ #feels so crazy that this was the fandom that got me to join tumblr in the first place (in 2011!!!!) and I used to draw them ALL THE TIME #interests change I guess #but I think I'll always come back to hl and portal occasionally. they're too much a part of my dna at this point LOL #my art #description in alt text #oh my god I just went back through my half life tag and the last time I drew these three was when I drew that freehounce meme LMAOOO #how serendipitious

[doodleodds]

Me? Uploading a Halloween comic on November 18th, almost four whole-ass weeks late???? Yeah that’s uh. yup. yeah

Thanks for reading! :) <3

#persona 5 #p5 #akira kurusu #OUGH OH MY GOD ITS FINALLY. DONE. I AM LOSING MY MIND #if you've been following me for long enough: yes! this IS in fact the comic i mentioned that i was making last year. #Fun fact! This is also! The Third Draft of said comic!!! i have redrawn this thing THREE FUCKING TIMES #as a result you may notice that i uh. a) gave up on coloring this thing. no way in HELL am i coloring 30 pages. im not...strong enough #you will settle for simply having monochrome colored panels and you will LIKE IT!!!!! >:OOOOO #and b) gave up on backgrounds! yeah fuck that lmao. i am never drawing people in the monabus again and mementos can kiss my ass!!!!! #i just want to draw my silly little characters & not their environments #and you may also say: sophia. by halloween they are already in Sae's palace. why isn't goro with them and where's haru? #and to that i say shhhh suspend your disbelief. akechi is in mementos carving pumpkins to avoid trick or treaters. #and also haru isn't there because i cannot draw 6+ people in a cramped space yet!!! my art skills are Just Not There Quite Yet :( #so she's staying home and handing out fullsized candy bars to kids. that's where she is while this is all going down #'does akira know it's akechi down there?' :) that's up to you! but i WILL say that I was thinking about Akeshu when i wrote this so. :)))) #ANYWAY if you read this far in the tags im so sorry lmao. thanks for sticking around! Hope you had a happy halloween :) #hopefully i won't disappear for long this time. idk im just gonna start uploading other bullshit art in the interim between comics i guess #probably some fire emblem shit. we'll see. we'll see. anyway bye!! till next time!

[lgbtlunaverse]

I honestly truly don't want to hear a single word about James Somerton in my life ever again. And I mean that in an "all of you need to stop talking about him right now and forever" way.

Every single time I've heard about him doing anything in the past weeks I've just thought "Please James for the love of all fuck log off for your own good" because I know the internet well enough to realize that despite Hbomberguy's very insistent request to please not fucking harass the guy, people would anyway.

I don't know what he thought he was trying to save, because there wasn't anything to save anymore. Every second online was just another second exposing himself to the worst part of the online audience that will completely ignore any request to not harass people.

And I do think that was worsened by the fact that a way larger chunk of people, who wouldn't ever send someone death threats themselves, do openly take a voyeuristic pleasure in watching someone's life get ruined as long as they've done something wrong enough to "deserve" it. Like. I noticed the shift in response to the plagiarism video going from anger to glee at watching someone get their comeuppance pretty quickly.

I'm not saying if you dunked on James recently you drove him to commit suicide. Besides the fact that we don't even know if he actually did it yet, I know what schadenfreude is and I'm certainly not immune to it. And trying to find a new bad guy to blame is the exact opposite what I want to do. I am saying that you should take this as a sign to stop posting. Because what did it do, exactly? Do you think any of the plagiarized writers feel better watching this happen? Do you think Hbomberguy does? Hell, as part of the audience, do you feel good right now? I don't.

I hope James is alive. I hope he never logs on again. And I think that even if he does he shouldn't find a single soul talking about him. I'm serious. Even in the most egg-on-my-face scenario where all of this was a complete fabrication, which isn't out of the question, and which I honestly hope is the case: stop giving him attention. He's never gonna have an online career again, and he shouldn't. You don't need to keep dunking to ensure that. All you need to do is ignore him completely.

#i really don't want to be in hbomberguy's shoes rn #it isn't his fault but if the news is real then... well he's obviously gonna feel like it's his fault #and if i were him it'd be hard for me trust my audience ever again #anyway. i hope he's lying. like i genuinely hope this he's just suicide baiting and i'm gonna look stupid posting this #tw suicide #just in case #hbomberguy #james somerton #please fucking god let that be the last time i ever type that name

[anipgarden]

The Secret Other Thing: KILL

This is my eighth post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps! 

KILL, TEAR, RIP, MAIM. 

You may have seen this sentiment a few times on gardening and wildlife blogs and been incredibly confused. Isn’t killing things the opposite of what you should be doing to protect habitats? In some cases, it really is necessary!

Invasive Plants

Invasive plants can do more harm than good, taking up space and nutrients and providing little in return to local wildlife--while spreading and choking out the native plants that would provide the most to our native fauna. Learn how to identify invasive species in your area and how to properly dispose of them, and do so whenever you have the opportunity! You may even be able to find volunteer groups/events where you can join up with like-minded people to remove a specific plant from an area.

(This image refers to the United States specifically--these plants aren't invasive or native everywhere!)

Pro tip, though; if you take out an invasive species and leave empty soil where it was, it’s likely another quick-growing invasive species will just move in. We don’t want that! Try to plant something in its place! If you’re going out on a mission to take out invasive plants, try to keep some native flower seeds or seedlings on your person while you do this work.

Different plants are invasive in different places, so be sure that the plant you're targeting is actually invasive to where you are. You don’t want to rip out a beneficial plant because it’s invasive somewhere else! Social media sites like Instagram and Tumblr are great for spreading information about invasive plants, but they can often be a bit… US-centric. Even I'm guilty of this, plenty of times! Plants like garlic mustard, kudzu, butterfly bush, Amur honeysuckle, wild radish, and Japanese knotweed are high-profile invasive plants that I hear about all the time here in America--but they came from somewhere, and are a part of the environment in these places! Likewise, many plants that are branded as pollinator-friendly and biodiversity boosters here in the states can be awful invasive species elsewhere. Even plants and animals that aren’t invasive in one part of a country or continent can be detrimental in another--Canadian waterweed is native to North America, but it’s actually invasive in Alaska.

(Japanese honeysuckle (Lonicera japonica) vs Coral honeysuckle (Lonicera sempervirens) vs the yellow variety of Coral honeysuckle (Lonicera sempervirens))

Be sure you’re taking out the right plant--be very confident in your ID before you take any action! Amur honeysuckle and Japanese honeysuckle, for example, may be invasive in the US--but coral and northern bush honeysuckles are native and key species in their environments. You don’t want to do harm while trying to do good--double check your IDs. Being certain with your IDs can also prevent you from doing harm to yourself and others--some plants produce toxic smoke when burned. Stay well-read on how to dispose of the invasive plants you’re targeting. 

(Garlic mustard pesto! Can't say I've ever had it, but I've heard good things about it online!)

With that being said! Some invasive species can be eaten. It’s free food! And you’re helping the environment? Win-win! Try looking up recipes that use these plants, or see how you can substitute something else for them! Foraging guides and blogs would likely be extremely helpful for this.

A super easy way to help curb the spread of invasive plants is to not grow them yourself! Double check any plant you’re considering buying or growing from seed--some sold in stores like butterfly bush are often touted as great plants to add to a pollinator garden, but in reality are an invasive species that eagerly displaces native shrubs here in the states.

POV: you're working the garden center at the Blue Big Box Store, you care about the environment, and every day you watch people buy Butterfly Bush and can do jack shit about it asides from try to gently steer them towards something else (but the other next best option was also Invasive Tropical Milkweed because its easier for Big Box Store to sell) I have a personal vendetta against people who grow Butterfly Bush (I live in The States) (If you didn't know Butterfly Bush was invasive in the US before now you're valid but also please god consider replacing it with an alternative ASAP)

Invasive Animals

POV 30 to 50 feral hogs are running into your yard within 3-5 minutes while your small children play

Invasive animals and insects compete for resources, take over habitat, and can even spread disease--all while pushing native species out or dwindling their numbers. Keep track of invasive animals you see and report them. Depending on the severity of the situation, killing them can be necessary and even encouraged. Do be sure it’s an invasive species and not a look-alike. If you’re unsure, take pictures, do research, and take action the next time.

Some high-profile invasive species in the US are spotted lanternflies, cuban tree frogs, hammerhead worms, feral swine, zebra mussels, lionfish, asian carp, burmese python, and others. Again, do make sure you’re targeting species that are invasive in your area; I doubt Asian carp are considered invasive in Asia, for example. Similarly, the American bullfrog is native to the eastern US and Canada, but is quickly becoming an invasive species around the rest of the world. Not to mention, the racoon problem in Japan… 

Some invasive species can be eaten as well! Some of them taste awful, and some can even be dangerous to eat or handle without caution. I would do a good amount of research online before trying to cook up just anything.

Doing it Right

If you’re trying to handle invasive species, you do have to ensure you’re doing it properly. As you do your research, you’ll likely see if the species should be photographed and reported and to what channels. Also in some cases, going about destroying them incorrectly could unintentionally help them spread--some plants spread quickly through rhizomes into disturbed soil, and hammerhead worms can actually regenerate from pieces into fully-developed new worms when you try to cut them up. Some invasive species are even actively harmful to humans, so I cannot emphasize enough that you need to be sure about what you’re dealing with and be careful about it. Giant Hogweed, for example, has toxic sap that’ll cause severe skin inflammation and painful blisters if it contacts skin and is exposed to sunlight. The blisters last for months, and the skin may develop long-term sensitivity for sunlight. 

If you’re unsure about how to handle an invasive plant, or are unsure of it’s identity, try contacting your local university co-op extension service if you’re in the states. They can tell you how to remove it safely and effectively. I can't say for sure what other channels would be the best option for someone living outside the states, so if anyone knows, feel free to chime in!

Pets

POV: ur little outdoor kitty Firestar is destroying the balance of your local ecosystem plz keep him INSIDE

Please keep your pets inside, or at least on a leash. An outdoor cat can do a lot more damage than one might imagine, as well as unrestrained dogs.

That’s the end of this post! And... technically, the last post in the series! My next and final final post is gonna be basically a giant list of all my sources that I used to make this post! I hope this post series was informative, helpful, interesting--anything of value, really! Feel free to reply with any questions, your success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

#biodiversity #solarpunk #gardening #invasive species #ani rambles #out of queue #the biodiversity saga #i wasn't sure where to add this in on the post but not all non natives are invasive and some native plants have sorta invasive-y habits #i dont remember the proper term that isn't just 'invasive-y' but yknow. #with that being said I tend to do a quick google search to make sure a plant I wanna buy isn't invasive before I add it to my garden #with that being said fuck big box stores STOP SELLING INVASIVE PLANTS I SWEAR TO GOD I DONT CARE IF THEY'RE POPULAR STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT #someday I will go on an entire unhinged rant about tropical milkweed #ive already done it before but I'm willing to do it again fuck it #anyways!!!! this is the last post if you don't wanna read Collection Of Links: The Musical so uh #hope this was a nice series with helpful information!! love yall byeeee

[mechieonu]

it actually hadn't occured to me until just now but love & betrayal are @ the site of every villain's spiral. like. "Shifu had to destroy what he had created. But how could he?" vs. "They loved you so much that having to send you away killed them." vs. "I loved him like a brother, and he betrayed me."

it's super neat how love isn't only one of the major themes of the series but also a vicious motivator too

#i know that seems like a 'well DUH' but like it JUST hit me square in the face #bc i adore how love is used in the kfp series #love used in the narrative like that makes me go nuts it's my favorite thing #i wonder how they're going to continue this w the chameleon in kfp 4 #god i was so happy to find out we're getting a fem villain (VOICED BY VIOLA DAVIS!!!) #i just. kinda wished she didn't have to rely on the older villains #it's actually why i wasn't a fan of kai @ first #it gets turned on its head bc he used masters we otherwise hadn't known so it wasn't rlly nostalgia bait #though he DID get the five & shifu #but his heartache w oogway (& his design. & the voicecast) turned me around lol #but still i hope her major feature isn't 'she brought back tai lung kai and shen you guys!!!' #if we're not getting the five can we PLEASE get heartsick viola davis villain #kfp 4 #kfp #& i'll say it again a love-and-betrayal villain would contrast SO well with tiGRESS GETTING HER OWN SELF-LOVE ARC #YES its the same formula as the last three movies and NO i DO NOT care

[sebdoeswords]

Okay, hgsn anime adaptation: Thoughts

1. First of all... LET'S GO GAYS WE DID IIIIIT!!!

2. Is this a leak? Because it's not on either mukumokuren's twitter nor the official hgsn one.

3. If it's NOT a leak, what was that mysterious announcement that's been teased on twitter for the release day of vol 5? Because i was SO sure that would be the anime announcement...

Either way I feel like we all knew this was coming, but that doesn't mean I am any less EXCITED!

#the summer hikaru died #tshd #hgsn #hikaru ga shinda natsu #now to temper my expectations #god i hope that announvement for vol 5 isn't that vol 6 will be the last one #i need this series to go on just a little bit longer #it feels like there's so much we don't know yet

[daily-whistlepaw]

daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167

I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it

#warrior cats #whistlepaw #windclan #medicine cat apprentice #this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol) #the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help. #and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night #but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess) #(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope)) #but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning #man it was not fun #(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about #being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me #annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help #either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra #I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off #and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué #I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain #and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess #I might have to eventually but I don't wanna #anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!

[gonersgoners]

remember when i said over a year ago that vegapunk's arc would start revealing even more of sanji's power and potential and how hard that was worrying me? yeah

#i'm clearly talking to myself here since this blog is basically a corner of my brain #but last chapter having sanji deflect a light beam and both kizaru and franky reacting the way they did #and zoro commenting in wano you cannot possibly block a laser... lmao....lmao! #ooooh man i just. feel oda is cooking something for sanji. and since there was a parallel with the wings of the pirate king #in recent chapters (where oda typically shows both sanji and zoro fighting and not just one of them) #just... man. man! man. lol #i know i can't let myself go and talk about all things going through my mind anymore because of. lol guilt and fear of being annoying #but god. that moment stirred something in me. like you're resurrecting a fucking corpse #so i am both scared and excited about next chapters and what this means for sanji #i was saying from DAY ONE of this arc being centered about vegapunk that it would eventually #touch on sanji and this is it. this is happening #if this for some reason isn't it. and oda will for some reason just let this slide or die in the shadows? i won't understand it #because of JUDGE and VEGAPUNK and QUEEN being partners and being linked to vegapunk! like come on. the connection is there #and this laser deflecting thing seems to finally touch on this red thread i've been holding with both my fingers like an insane person #so yeah. lol. listening to a video right now about it and finally. FINALLY i see SOMEONE ELSE point out that #not mentioning judge still is giga weird. so here's hoping. here's hoping #also lol it was very fun to be on reddit and look at so many people being MAD that sanji managed to do that. and that we got a little bit o #mr prince vibes. LMAO STAY MAD. my boy is being treated good right now and i can't wait for oda to destroy me #(again) lol #GG rambles

[ainu-lindale]

#i was weeping this morning as a rewatched this scene and saw boromir's look to the hobbits #right before he puts himself back in the fray #he cares for them so deeply #and he knows there isn't much hope for him now #but he can do this one last thing #AND THEN #there's the fact that faramir's words begin to softly play in the background #like oh my god did the filmmakers want to kill me #this movie is a threat against my life #as well as a deeply healing wellspring of beauty #isn't that nice #lotr #hobbit #tolkien #boromir #faramir #merry brandybuck #pippin took #fotr #fellowship of the ring #lord of the rings #film #film score

[godofsmallthings]

ik everything about taylor's place in pop culture is kind of inflated and unprecedented rn but as someone who was too young and then too much of a gaylor to really pay much attention to the like general chatter surrounding her love life when she was single/dating...wow this is so insane like no wonder this girl has a complex

#i'm gonna be deadass not one cell of me cares about whatever is/isn't happening with travis #like if she ever starts seriously dating someone i will start caring bc i like knowing what's going on with her! #but the amount of just constant omg let's hyperanalyze what this guy said on a podcast! let's make hyperbolic assumptions based on every gu #this woman is near! let's circle back to these past flings! let's take these 5 frames of boy language out of context! let's all take the #time to rehash all of kaylor for everyone! let's get in online fights about this celebrity's love life!! #ohhhhhhhh my god like i feel insane #anyway idk how it happened but i have been freed from caring about celebrity relationship gossip a little bit i think #thank fucking god let's hope this lasts #maybe if she had better taste in men i would care more but alas #in my heart she's still dating este haim #vi is typing...

[keepthetension]

still thinking about grief and recovery and support on this show because oh boy did the shows airing this weekend put me in my dead parent feelings i said before i was concerned about how porjai is dealing with her own grief, and this episode we saw her easily talking about rung, and even casually yelling to rung that she misses her! maybe this is me projecting, because i can't do that, but this seems like a pretty healthy place to be, especially contrasted with mhok's relative silence, and i'm glad!

and mhok's silence doesn't come from anger or resentment (which are valid ofc, but i did wonder if imprisonment gave him time to work through this to some degree) but out of protectiveness. i fucking loved this, because it felt so realistic and lived-in. i lost a parent to intimate partner violence, and i NEVER open up about it; people sure have Opinions, and it makes me insane

but day finding out about rung offscreen wasn't on my bingo card, tbh. because we've been with mhok through everything he's found out about day

it doesn't bother me, exactly, but it feels slightly unbalanced, and i suppose what i'm thinking is: knowing what happened to someone doesn't actually tell you how they feel about it, or how it affects them, or how you can support them

mhok found out from that lady sharing personal medical info she had no business sharing about day losing his eyesight in the accident, but he put in the work to understand what it actually meant for day. and in most cases, we've seen day telling mhok about what troubles him in his own words (his crush on auggy, why he was avoiding his friends, etc)

bereavement is probably statistically more common, so i suppose it may not need to be spelled out for an audience? but i am wary, because there have been so many shows where characters are visibly — to me! — struggling with grief and everything else matryoshka-ed in it, but audience reaction simply doesn't factor this in

i'm also thinking about how often mhok tells day a story about himself with the intent of making him smile ("i bought two bracelets just because i had money to spend" "i found this rooftop when i needed to sober up" "my sister called this false rice". i'm certain there are more!). because this is what a caretaker does, or because this is what mhok does, or both?

because this always made me wonder what it would take for mhok to talk about something that wouldn't make day smile, or because he wanted to share. in the former case, it'd have to be something pretty bad!

of course, talking isn't the only way to recovery or intimacy. and mhok going from "i'm breaking up with my devoted gf because i don't want to drag her down with me" to "i'm going to ask you to be my bf" is pretty significant!

but as they navigate the journey from being caretaker and client to being boyfies, the balance has to shift around a bit to them supporting each other, consciously choosing to be there for each other

in this episode what we got was: you only want money to buy that car. and i'm not even mad about this, because this kind of comment is very in line with day's character. but wow. day, i know you're feeling big feelings, but throwing one of the few things you know about mhok's life in his face is. not it!

#last twilight the series #i know this is a “trustworthy” director. and i will happily eat my words! but #it's always bothered me when couples fall into this pattern of ONE person doing the bulk of the supporting and caring and accommodating #and i am HOPING WISHING PRAYING this show doesn't do the same you know? #also like the imbalance makes sense if they're only caretaker and client of course! i'm just SO curious how this will be addressed #thinking a lot lately about characters society puts into a certain box because social status or because they're Manly or Tough or some shit #and there isn't a space for them to be soft and goofy and playful and tender. and people assume they don't need to be cared for #ten from cooking crush and babe from pit babe and top from only friends. for example. #and “there's zero tenderness in you” mhok #and i desperately want to see these characters get to be more than they're “allowed” to be #patriarchy is a curse #oh also i suspect mhok's “healing journey” will come to a head once he buys the car or whatever ends up happening there #ALSO GOD how many people would move the fuck out of that house afterward IF THEY HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO #and maybe it doesn't feel like this for mhok and porjai but living in the same place afterward can be intensely suffocating #but they can't just move and start over like moneyed individuals might be able to! #recovery and healing simply looks different for the rich #anyway next ep will probably foreground mhok caring for day. and there are not many eps left!! i am wary but still fairly optimistic

[afairerplace]

My impression of how strongly Taylor felt about Harry Styles is VASTLY different after hearing the vault tracks

#i wonder if some of that isn't production #ngl it DID throw me a bit that the vault tracks are obviously produced by jack and the originals obviously are not #but for whatever reason #the original album always gave me the impression of the image she cultivated during the era: #shiny cool confident ny girl about town with her girlfriends #knowing that harry isn't ever going to pan out but jumping in anyways for the fun and excitement while it lasts #hoping for more but (if you'll excuse me) shaking it off when things inevitably finally fall apart #but the vault tracks peel back her confident exterior more and show just how BADLY she hoped for more #calling her mom for comfort? #pretending not to notice he's texting other girls but being utterly crushed? #reading into his new hair and aching to talk to him about it? #in most of the original tracks she sands away a lot of these vulnerable details #like she doesn't want him or us to see just HOW badly and HOW specifically he hurt her #but listening to the vault tracks my reaction was oh shit he really did break her heart #God bless i always thought harry styles was Not It #(as a bf #i do enjoy his music quite a bit though purely for the vibes) #but boy this guy is NOT IT #taylor swift #1989 (taylor's version)

[starsandthorn]

so no furina story quest 2 :((

#personal stuff #delete later #AUUUGH. #i guess since she isn't technically an archon she'll get one at the same time as everyone else. but no neuvillette quest either?? #we don't get to dive deeper into the previous hydro archon or anything? #no spices from the west either... what's the point of this update even #kidding. dainsleif quest at last. oh my god #looked like remuria during the trailer? #also i am simultaneously getting immernachtreich and hexenzirkel vibes from certain places in the trailer. hmm #SPOTTED ALBEDO'S FLOWER ON THE STAINED GLASS #OHHH SHIT. SIBLINGS. HOORAY [afraid] #okay i thought we would go back to remuria for the dain quest but it DOES make more sense to go back to sumeru with its links to khaenri'ah #oh my god the eng pronunciations of these names are killing me. i have never heard them said like this before <//3 #but yea sigewinne and clorinde look nice :] #sethos!!!! #love him. #he's traveling!! visiting sumeru city!!! #interesting to me that he was a spear user in the story quest but now he uses a bow #hermanubis took my polearm proficiency can't have shit in the temple of silence #was kind of hoping we'd at least get the polearm he used to flesh out that weapon set #aww the animation looks nice. kind of hate that they're leaning so far into the ''aether as the mc'' thing but whatever. it's fine #SECRET ROOM IN THE MONDSTADT LIBRARY. HEXENZIRKEL DESIGN DETAILS. LET'S GOO #OH IT'S PERMANENT? WOOO #i don't even care abt the rewards for the most part i'm more excited by the hexenzirkel implications and getting to go to mondstadt #natlan teaser wooo. i'm not. super excited about any kind of mount system i'll be 100% honest #maybe i'll change my mind on release but like. i did not love the sorush system #i enjoy exploring as Me and My Characters. idk #i really hope we at least get gourmet supremos. christ. we didn't see them at all in fontaine

[queerofthedagger]

the mortifying ordeal of having to decide if you're unwell enough about a new fandom yet that you should add it to the tagging list/intro post, or if there might still be hope for you.... knowing that the fact you're considering it means it's most likely already too late..... knowing it's so SO far past 'most likely' because there are already three (3) plots pinned in the discord server.............. SIGH

#mona rambles #i do not need this. i do not have the TIME #also i do not want to touch that fandom everything i know about it looks SO exhausting god bless #anyway. #stranger things post will be tagged ST once i. convince myself that it is in fact way too late for me #send condolences. or something #i literally would've been FINE if not for atlanta #which. i knew this before we always make each other worse #but i was a clown. committing hubris. thinking that this time.. this time I'd be FINE #as if the fucking. bbc merlin MESS that my life has become the last 4 years isn't one huge blinking warning sign #i say all this. while having consumed roughly 400k words worth of fic the last three days #as if there is hope. as if i wasn't having a blast #and i haven't even started on the fucked up ship fun yet #we're still in wholesome steddie land; i don't even want to KNOW what harringrove will do to me #ANYWAY #ignore me #block ST if you want to be spared #it'll get worse before it gets better. or something

[stormyoceans]

Not to be that person but the thought of Day using Mork as stress relief toy suddenly appeared in my head and i wasn't normal since. The first time that happened they were walking in a crowded place and Day heard the song he really likes and they stoped to listen and Day squeezed Mork's bicep rhythmically. Later when they were back to Mork's workshop Day approached Mork, lifted his shirt, run his hands all over Mork's torso to find his pecs and squeezed them. He put his head on Mork's shoulder and sighed and said how tired he is. Mork couldn't answer to him because he was so embarrassed, they were in the middle of the street in a broad daylight (Mork was looking under the hood of a car that had been brought to him for repairs. There's no one around but...).

Or Day and Night are bickering about something and somehow it becomes a little too personal and Day huffs and goes to his room, lying on his bed. When Mork arrives, Day asks him to cuddle and Mork's like yeah sure did something happen. Day pulls Mork on top of himself, puts his hands on his back, runs them under Mork's pants and grabs his ass. Day starts reflecting on his argument with Night and his hands are so restless, they squeeze, they release, they stroke, they crumple Mork's buttocks and Mork is so fidgety because of it that Day asks him 'are you even listening, Phi'Mork' all series and sulky. His fingers press on Mork's sensitive spots and Mork can only bury his face in Day's neck and hold on.

Or when Day's mother decides to talk to both of them about the future and their plans and Day grips Mork's hip under the table with both hands. Everyone can see he holds Mork's leg but Day doesn't care he needs to hold on Mork or he won't be able to sit through this conversation. Mork is so used to Day's hands by this point he can't understand what's wrong and why Day's mother is silent until he realizes where she's looking.

DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I REREAD THIS IT HONESTLY NEVER FAILS TO HAVE ME SCREAMING SHOUTING YELLING HOWLING SCREECHING SHRIEKING WAILING SQUEALING GIGGLING WITH ABSOLUTE DELIGHT WHILE GETTING DRAGGED INTO A PADDED ROOM AGAINST MY WILL WHY USING A STRESS BALL WHEN YOU HAVE A SQUEEZABLE BOYFRIEND WHO LIKES TO INDULGE YOUR EVERY WHIM!!!!!!!!

i just love the idea of day refusing physical touch at first because he ended up associating it with people having pity of him and forcing their help on him even if he didn't want it, but eventually learning to find comfort and safety in it thanks to mork, to the point he actually seeks it out to relax. BUT ALSO IM LAUGHING AT THE IDEA OF DAY JUST SQUEEZING AND KNEADING DIFFERENT PARTS OF MORK'S BODY WHILE POOR MORK IS SITTING THERE FIGHTING FOR HIS SANITY AND TRYING TO WILL HIS HARD ON AWAY BECAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT DAY IS LOOKING FOR (at least not in that moment)

we already know touch is gonna be such an essential part of mork and day's relationship so imma need at least one of these scenarios to happen okay I NEED IT SO BADLY!!!!!!

#ANON YOU HAVE THE VISION THE TASTE THE FLAVOR #THE PECS AND BUTT ONES HAD ME COMMUNING WITH GOD NGL #LAST ONE THO I CAN SEE IT HAPPEN SO WELL #thank you so much for sharing this with me anon!!!!! #im sorry for the late reply and also if it isn't the best one ;;;;;; #BUT I REALLY DO LOVE THIS AND IM PUTTING IT IN MY MANIFESTATION LIST!!!!! #hope you're having a great weekend!!!! 💜 #last twilight the series #morkday #m: ask