#i have many ideas for art currently which always happens when i am about to have yero free time lmao

[steamberrystudio]

31/12/2023 Devlog

Hey everyone! Time for the bi-weekly tumblr update for Steamberry stuff! Except I skipped one because I can't remember why.

I half-wrote it but I think I just wasn't feeling up to finishing and posting.

I haven't been doing extremely well health-wise lately but still powering through.

Summary

Finished writing Chapter 5.5 (the new chapter in WSC)

Finished editing Chapters 6, 7, and 8 of Asher's path

Finished all the profiles for the GS lore book

Have started wrapping up the "side stories" and additional content for the GS lore book

Ramble

Okay so in my last update I was in the middle of editing chapter 5 and was nearly to the start of chapter six in editing Asher's route. I finished up chapter 5...

At that point when I was looking ahead, I started feeling like I wanted to add in a transition scene to move between Chapter 5 and Chapter 6.

As I started plotting out this scene, one of my ideas took on a life of its own and I realised that it might be better to interject a new, fleshed out story incident that would allow me to slow the pacing as well as flesh out the setting and universe a little more. This incident would also let me tie into some earlier events and connect them to something that occurs in chapter 6, also foreshadowing the chapter 6 incident.

Ultimately, this became too much to call a "scene" and I decided to branch it off into a supplementary chapter (IE a chapter a bit shorter than the others and meant to be released along with another chapter.)

Then that chapter ended up being 30,000 words.

So that happened.

After finishing that I went on to finish editing chapters 6, 7, and 8. I am currently on chapter 9. I only have a few more chapters before I'm finished editing Asher's path. As always, during my edits, one of the main things I do is flesh things out.

So obviously the word count has grown from that (and, you know, the 30k extra chapter I invented).

Currently the word count is 468,000 words.

Other Stuff:

I have received several new BGs and a new BG sketch. BGs are continuing to come in at a fairly steady pace.

I now have all the BGs for The Ophelia and the artists are working on other locations finally. OwO

I've also been, here and there, doing small tweaks to the sprites, small additions and fixes.

Gilded Shadows:

As I mentioned, I finally got through all the character profiles. There are so many more characters than I remembered in this game.

Then I got halfway through and realised that I forgot five. And had to insert them, which...meant rearranging pages, which is a pain in the butt. However, that is now complete.

What I'm working on now is finishing up some of the short stories and drabbles I have planned or partially written out and getting them into the lore book. 

As well as gathering any other content. The lore book is currently about 350 pages. And I am really hoping to wrap it up soon.

Upcoming Weeks:

Next couple of weeks I will be trying to wrap up the lore book and wrap up editing Asher's Path.

When I finish editing Asher's path I'll be moving on to finish drafting the end sequences for the four remaining characters. I'm starting to have an idea of where the word count is going to end up but will have a better idea for sure when Asher's edit is complete.

I have written over 100,000 words since mid-August, just plugging away and trying to hit at least 1000 words a day.

I hit my year end word count goal of 466,000 words for When Stars Collide but unfortunately did not finish the draft because the draft has grown in size.

But I am really hoping to finish it early next year so we can fully move into phase 2 of When Stars Collide.

I am also hoping to get the final KS stuff resolved for Gilded Shadows early next year as well (the lore book, art book, and some residual art and stuff).

For now, I shall just keep plucking away at it until it's all done.

And that is all for now. I will see you all next year.

#gilded shadows #whenstarscollide #amare game #indie otome game #updates #devlog

[0theghost0]

Update

Hi hi, everyone. I know it's been a long time. I was actually typing up a message to @prince-infidel because of an ask they sent me, but I realized I should probably just make it a post. So I guess this is an update. Okay, short version: The end of 2022 and the entirety of 2023 was horrible for me. A lot happened, and 97% of it was not good. Now to get into a bit more specifics. While all of this crazy stuff was going on, a friend of mine really needed help with their company. They were just going through a ton, and I jumped on to help them while they were trying to figure that stuff out. Turns out that I was a good fit. So I've completely changed careers currently. Also, with all of this crazy shit going on, I stopped drawing entirely. That's a first for me. No matter what was going on, I always had my drawing as an outlet. It was very new for it to be gone. I actually only recently started drawing again, and when I say recently, I mean last week. I haven't even finished anything and my progress comes in very small doses. Baby steps I guess. Now the stuff you're actually probably interested in. Even though I haven't been drawing, I have been making art. - I've been putting crazy amounts of effort into making costumes. It's really fun and I've level grinded a lot with sewing and fabrics. I made an entire Victorian costume on my own. It was cool. - I weirdly started working on dolls? I have no idea why I started doing that. I hate dolls. - I started making weird... sculptures? I don't know how to describe them. It's basically recycling and turning materials into monstrosities for my own entertainment and to scare random people. - And I've delved more into my hobby of SFX makeup.

I have been being creative, it's just a bunch of stuff that no one cares about. It makes me happy and that's all there is to it really. Which brings me to the long version, because I have no idea how to continue this without going into details. I can only assume all of this answers anyone questions who might be curious. Time to get a bit more specific.

I don't know how to start this, so I guess I'll just say that my interests have completely moved. I think everything above should make that clear, but when I'm referring to interests, I mostly mean the things that inspire me. This is actually typical for me. I love fiction and am a fan of many, many things. I get really involved in a fandom for a while, get bored, then move on to one that is piquing my interest more. Eventually I come back and the cycle starts over. I always keep up with all of my interests simultaneously, it's just that one usually dominates the others. The thing is, comic books have completely lost my interest currently.

There's a lot of factors. I'm not going to repeat stuff that you've probably heard a thousand times from other people about the current state of the comic industry, comic writing, the movies, the video games blah blah blah whine whine whine. I think one of the big things though is that this last year has really changed me. I'm just a really different person now. I'm not that happy-go-lucky nerd I was before. I think my major concern is that I honestly think it would be fucked up if I continued to post here.

People started following me here because of my art and my posts. It would be fucked up to switch that around on them and just show back up as this different person with different art, different interests etc. I've thought about making an update on here a bunch of different times, but I never did because of stuff like that. However, in a way, it's been really nice. It's been nice to just do whatever stupid art project comes into my head, and to do it just for the sake of making something. I think dropping drawing all together (not by choice, mind you) turned out to be good for me. I think I got in tune with a creative side of myself that I'd lost a long time ago. It's been pretty neat.

I've thought about just leaving this tumblr to history. I honestly think that I should. It can be a weird time capsule of this specific fandom in this specific time period. I've thought about just making different social media accounts so that people who want to see any of my new, awful creations could if they wanted to. I don't know though. I'm just all up in the air all the time now lol

I get this isn't an "all questions answered" kinda post. Not that most people needed them, but I know that there are people who just liked my art in general and I knew they must be curious. So I hope I at least answered some stuff and gave some clarity.

#updates #text post #I've read through this a few times and I think it makes sense #I'm currently very sick #I hope this isn't just flat out nonsense #I also hope it isn't needlessly dramatic sounding #whenever I try to type this stuff out it always comes across so intense lol #I'm also going to be a dick and post this in the middle of the night #if I leave it until morning I'll forget it exists

[slayingfiction]

Creating Your Fictional Language AKA Conlang

Hi Everyone!

As I am working currently on a conlang for my WIP, I thought I might post about the steps for anyone else thinking of going above and beyond in their world building to create an entirely new language.

First: if you don’t want to create your own language but need one for your WIP, there are many online generators that will do it for you. My favourite is vulgarlang.com and it comes with a free demo version.

Before we begin:

IPA: learn all about the International Phonetic Alphabet. This is when you will be deciding which sounds will be present in your language.

Study existing languages to get an idea of all the ways you can design your alphabet and language. This will give you an idea for grammar, punctuation, sentence structure etc.

Getting Started:

Name your language.

Make your alphabet. This can mean creating your own drawings for sound, or using an alphabet that already exists. You can make an alphabet, each symbol representing a particular sound (up to about 50 usually) , a syllabary which represents a syllable (up to about 100) or pictographs (hundreds needed).

Create words by putting your sounds together. Try combining words to make new but similar words. For example, any is an indeterminate word, and where is for a place, anywhere being a compound word being a place that does not have a pre-determined location.

Order your sentences. English has an order of subject-verb-object (the dog ran after the ball), while in Japanese they use subject-object-verb. Once you choose an order for where your words fit into your sentence, be sure to always follow the pattern as to not be confusing later on.

Make grammar rules. These are the rules that dictate your language, and if you are following the steps, you will have already started. Does your language have plurals? How many ways can your verbs be conjugated? Is your punctuation the same as in English?

Start creating your dictionary, and be sure to always write it down and keep notes, or you won’t remember.

Practice. Practice. Practice. Create new documents using your language, writing journals entries, translating books or try speaking it out loud. Get to know your language.

For languages similar to English, here are the word classes to help you start choosing which words you need translated: nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, pronouns, determiners/articles, interjections and suffixes. Please note, not all languages have these classes, and your language may not require them either.

Things to remember:

Making a symbol equal to English letters and writing English words with your new alphabet is a cypher, not a new language.

The shape of your creature’s mouth will determine the sounds they can make. That being said, if you make a language too hard to pronounce or remember, no one will be able to learn it. You probably want your new language to be useable.

Homophones are words that sound or are written the same, but have different meanings. This happens all the time, just be careful when using similar words, people will confuse them often. This could mean your character learning the language can make people laugh with silly comical mistakes, or insult an entire race.

Your conlang will, and should, have words that don’t translate to English, and that’s ok. A fantasy world will likely have many different words that we are not accustomed to for things like weapons, or food or instruments we don’t have.

Implementing the language into your WIP is an art. You want the language to come naturally to native speakers, but using too many words too quickly will draw attention away from your words, and your reader will start to skip them. Try putting in a dictionary at the start of the book for reference, and slowly growing your readers knowledge without overwhelming them. No one wants to try to remember a new language while also getting to know your characters, environment and plot.

Keep in mind, all languages have slang and idioms. There may even be several dialects of the language, similar to English. Don’t forget, you also need a new name for their currency. These are all things you need to consider when creating your language.

You need about 800 to have conversational basics and over 8000 words to be a native speaker of a language. No matter where you end up, you need to start somewhere.

Hopefully this is helpful to someone! If something I wrote is wrong, please let me know so I can change it :) Any questions, comments or concerns, message me or leave them below!

Happy Writing

#creative writing #language resources #conlang #fantasy language #wip stuff #writing a language #writeblr #writer #novel writing #writing advice #writing community #tumblr writers #writing #writerscommunity #story writing #writer tips #write write write #write what you want #fiction #female writers

[tinyluminaryzombie]

@jilymicrofics | August Prompt 21 | 684 words

“And how’s my favorite radical?”

The coffee shop was already bustling when Lily entered. Three months ago, she’d made a New Year's Resolution to treat herself more (within reason). Since then, her semi-weekly walks to Three Broomsticks Cafe have served as a respite from deary memos and disappointing memos. The distractingly cute owner doesn't hurt either.

“Don’t be silly, James. Radicals don’t wear iron-pressed suits.”

“You know you’re my hero, Evans.”

The second time she visited Three Broom Sticks was for a chocolate fix after a terrible day at work. At 7 pm, the cafe was cleared out. The quiet, mixed with James's soft smile and delicious pastries put her at ease.

So much so that Lily started ranting about her day.

Since then, James has always asked her for work updates. He also couldn't get over her job as legislative director at a large climate nonprofit. Which, yeah, was a terrific ego boost. Lily knows it's impressive, especially at 28. It's another thing to have James tell her.

Bantering with James was becoming one of her favorite things. but t it was also one of the most confusing; did James just like the job or did he like her? And no, despite her friend's instance, Lily refused to make a move. She would not be the creepy customer hitting on the barista/pastry chef/owner, no matter how gorgeous, sweet, and funny he was.

“You with me, Lily?”

Lily shook her head, hoping it looked like she was surveying the options instead of fantasizing. 

“Yep! Present as always,” she managed with a smile.

“Great.” James started tapping his fingers on the counter. “Um— I know you’re busy saving the world—“

“James.”

“— No, I’m right and you know it,” he continues forcing a soft dose of eye contact that made her blush.

“Anyways... We’re having a community organization night tonight, it was actually my brother’s idea! There are a lot of people who want to get involved with their community but aren’t exactly sure how to, hence the community org night. It’s in a week and I thought you could do a table? Maybe make heroes out of us?”

James paused, dragging his hand through his black hair. “Um...I know you’re busy but it would be great to have you!”

Lily was ashamed that her first thought was “I want to touch his hair.” She’s a professional for god’s sake! What’s worse was that her second thought was “how can I make this work?” As legislative director, Lily doesn’t interact much with volunteers. However, the outreach and volunteer coordinator happened to be her former roommate and current best friend. If she brought James’s event during this week’s leadership meeting she doubts anyone would tell her not to go, especially Mary.

“How many people are you expecting?” Lily quickly asked, already preparing the meeting.

James looked almost bashful. “Right now we have 120 RSVPs, which is kind of all this place can fit.”

Damn, Lily thought. It made sense, though. Everyone loved Three Broomsticks and its energy, with community-made art, pride flags, and unique mugs.

“I’m in!”

Suddenly, James had reached over the counter and swung his arms around her shoulders. She leaned into him just as he froze up.”

“Shit, shit!” James exclaimed as he recoiled.

Lily couldn’t get a word in before he started talking, pulling the stands of his hair. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe— so unprofessional of me!”

“James it’s fine. All good.”

“I was just really excited that you’re coming, I hope you still are,” James said with a forced laugh.

“Of course I am! I’m about two seconds away from it being in the Google Calendar— then you know it’s official,” Lily joked. James just nodded.

“Well anyways, here’s your regular, it’s on me today.”

Lily wanted to argue but James was practically begging her to leave. Their flirty banter had dissipated in seconds she couldn't fix it. Instead, she thanked him, tipped what she would have paid, and promised to be back in a few days.

Somehow this particular trip wasn’t as restorative as her others.

#so this just happened #and i kinda like it #might make into larger oneshot when I have the time #i like half proof read this so apologies for any typos #anywaysss #lily is a badass #and james loves it #jily microfic #jily oneshot #jily fic #jily modern au #jily coffee shop au #lily evans #james potter #marauder era au #my fic #my jily fic

[bettsfic]

I’m not sure if you answered something like this before but I’m having a bit of a writing crisis. I have only ever written very short pieces of fiction and I have discovery written all of them. As I embark on the journey of novel writing, I have decided that discovering the plot as I go wouldn’t work because there are just too many moving parts.

Now I am outlining and pre-planning, like architects, but this process fills me with so much doubt. Like I can’t execute these plot points. This story isn’t good enough why tell it? Things like this and worse fill my mind dude the planning stage and I’m very tired of it. It takes away my desire to tell the current story I’m working on so then I’ll just assume it’s the idea and try a different one but the same process happens again. I really want to write a novel but it seems like I just can’t sit in the planning stage without feeling discouraged and completely loosing the motivation to tell the story. Not out of boredom but out of confidence in the story and in myself to execute it in the best way possible. There are so many decisions to make, so many moments of insecurity at this stage, for me.

Note: I have tried discovery writing a novel but I always struggle to connect the plot threads to the main conflict while drafting this way and I tend to deal with a lot of decision fatigue for such a project, slowing down my writing.

Do you know of any steps to take to deal with this?

it sounds like you're focusing on your weaknesses over your strengths. there are a few people in the history of humankind who have been able to sit down and write a book-length work of fiction in a planned and measured way, and who execute it the way they intended. doing that is a task so close to impossible that i don't know why we don't consider it a miracle. i guess it's success bias. we only ever see the work of people who can do that so it's hard to see that almost nobody can do that.

my point is, very few writers write a novel on purpose.

you say, "i have only ever written very short pieces of fiction." that's your answer. if that's your natural writing state, if that's the way you perceive ideas and execute them, that's what you do. one of two things will eventually happen: you'll amass enough stories that you have a book length collection of stories, or you will stumble accidentally into a novel. either way, you'll end up with a manuscript. i know everyone thinks "i want to write a novel" and honestly i love that, i love that people want to contribute to the lineage of fiction, but just because novels make the most money in western publishing doesn't mean that they're the highest literary art form.

right now it seems like you're banging on the doors of a broken elevator, when actually you have to take the stairs. except the stairs won't actually take you where you want to go; they'll take you somewhere else entirely and you just have to accept where you end up. but it's better to take the stairs somewhere than to take the elevator nowhere.

my advice is this: make a list of all the novel ideas you tried to plan but gave up on, and write them in the shortest possible form. give yourself a word count maximum. say, 4k words. it's going to be hard, because you wanted them to be longer and you had a different initial conception of them, but that's the fastest, most methodical way to figure out which ideas can't be executed in short form and therefore must be given a longer form. you'll know it when you finish the short version and you can't stop thinking about it. you'll want to stay in that world with those characters for as long as possible until they finish telling you their story. at that point, doubt becomes irrelevant. doubt withers in the face of curiosity and personal fulfillment. you have to know what happens simply for your own satisfaction, and that will lead you to a very sprawling, messy, overwhelming draft of something that you might be able to carve down into a novel. but by that point, even a novel may seem too small to contain the world you've built.

push yourself to be better at what you're already good at instead of trying to be good at something you struggle with. it's the long road, but at least that road will take you to new places.

#writing advice #process

[karidley]

Hot take, but I actually really, really love Cassie Sandsmark's current costume.

It just... it looks like how I dress. I see me in that. I see my evolution in her evolution.

I too was an awkward (unwittingly) queer kid who thought every other girl in existence was born with innate knowledge I had no way of obtaining. In my younger years I generally looked like a dorky string bean.

Then as a preteen and teen I leaned real hard into being a tomboy. At the time my idea of fighting the patriarchy was to ~not be like other girls~, but if I'd allowed myself to be truly honest with myself I would have recognized that i actually didn't feel all that happy wearing baggy, oversized clothing and being mistaken for a boy. There's nothing wrong with that, let me be clear. But to me it was either THIS or THAT. And wearing or doing anything "girly" was giving in to the patriarchy. And that's not a really healthy way to make life choices.

Obviously Cassie did the opposite, leaning way into "doing girl right," but we were both reacting to same principle: there's a right way to be a girl and there's a wrong way and you need to either gather or throw away what doesn't conform. I was looking for a fight. Cassie was looking to belong.

What broke this mentality for me was moving to an art school thousands of miles from the heteronormative white suburb I'd grown up in. I met so many different people with different experiences of the world. And wow! Lots of them had personal styles that weren't Boy or Girl or Popular Subgroup with Distinct Rules (when i was a teen it was emo, scene, punk, prep.) And I started to go "hey no one knows me here... maybe I could try on being sexy or girly or pretty or cutesy or dye my hair or shave my head. Maybe i can play. No one here cares, there's no one to fight."

But poor Cassie had to try to do her wobbly, awkward self-exploration in front of the world, while standing next to Dianna Prince and Donna Troy (and getting bullied at school.) Everything she did or didn't do with her self-presentation was automatically in conversation with their choices. And as one would expect, often her attempts ended up looking either painfully clumsy or "not herself."

In college I had a close friend and roommate (a lesbian - i was the "token straight" in my friend group which lol no i wasn't), whose style embodied feminine cuteness. She always wore heels and had perfect makeup and wore pretty long skirts. Like Cassie did with Cissie, I paid attention to how she put on her makeup and copied stuff. She gave me tips when I asked about it. I felt awkward and clumsy and self conscious (and looked it, too.) After a bit I moved on, took a little bit with me (a lot of it wasn't my thing and honestly felt like i was cosplaying someone else) and starting trying other stuff.

Over time I also became acquainted with the wider queer community and learned the gender binary was false to begin with. (God, I wish I'd known sooner.)

ANYWAY what ended up happening was that I pieced together a really comfortable, eclectic style that's first purpose is to make me happy. Sometimes I wear makeup. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes i look like a witch with tall edwardian boots. Sometimes I look kinda punk. Sometimes I look like I stepped out of a historical picture. Sometimes I *do* wear baggy oversized clothes. I have brightly dyed hair. I've tried an undercut, and pixies, and long hair and the bisexual bob. I wear a large hat and a leather jacket and heels. I wear sparkly nail polish and bright red lipstick and I absolutely don't gaf what shape my eyebrows are.

But that took years and years of saying "oooh I like that look" and going home and trying it on. (Sometimes with the additional queer head scratcher of "do I like this look or am I just attracted to this person?" Yeah, definitely not something i can imagine Cassie ever thinking lmao)

But funnily enough you wanna know what makes up the bulk of my outfits nowadays? T-shirt, leggings, comfy skirt, and leather or jean jacket. And comfy 1920s workboots. Why? It's comfy and I feel cute with very little effort!

Anyway, that's why i earnestly love Cassie's stylistic evolution and back and forth with femininity (even if I have to retrofit/reclaim some uhhh pretty sexist stuff from the people writing/drawing her.)

Because this girl? She looks like she looked in a mirror this morning and went "damn, I'm cute." She looks like she chose that skirt bc it's comfortable and fun to twirl in and for the snap the fabric makes when she's flying. She looks like she feels cool with that jacket on. She looks like she put that eyeliner on and went "fuckin nailed it" when she got the point she wanted.

#cassie sandsmark #wondergirl #i have so many emotions about this girl #sorry for the essay #I've just been thinking about this for a while

[iraprince]

Heyo! Any advice on struggling to get your art seen in the world? I feel like no matter how much I post, or what I post, people never see it or seem to like it. I love art and am pursuing it as a career (hence why Im getting a degree in it currently lmao) but its kind of disheartening to work really hard on something, post it, and no one sees it.

oh, man. i'm afraid for this one i don't feel like i have a lot of solid advice. having a large-ish following online feels like something that kind of just, like, Happened to me, mostly on accident/in ways outside of my control, and even if i had some ideas on how to potentially replicate those gains i don't think they'd work consistently. (also, a lot of my large jumps in follower count came from mental health related work going viral bc it's #relatable; this is something i have complicated feelings about and it's absolutely not a viable, like, "strategy" or something that i would recommend, in the way that ppl can say like, "fanart gets attention!" or stuff like that.)

so, i don't have advice for how to actually GET those eyes on your art; i can maybe help with making ppl more likely to STAY once they do find you, and how to build a following that will actually help you maintain a living from your work -- bc i have TONS of peers w a following a fraction of the size of mine who get more jobs than me, are doing cooler/more "professional" stuff than me, etc! (heads up that most of my experience is on twitter; i know less than nothing about places like instagram + tiktok, and while tumblr functions very differently from twitter i feel like i handle things mostly the same here, aside from doing less personal posting/being less talkative and not 'networking' or following many people).

SCROLLING BACK UP TO ADD A SPOILER ALERT: AS ALWAYS I HAVE SAID "HAHA IDK I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY ADVICE" AND THEN PROCEEDED TO TYPE A FULL ESSAY. IF YOU ARE ON DESKTOP YOU CAN HIT THE 'J' KEY TO SKIP THIS POST. IF YOU'RE ON MOBILE, I'M SORRY

a very important thing, especially professionally: it HAS to be easy to see what you do. (this is easier here on tumblr, where u can have a designated art tag etc, than on twitter, which is an awful website that sucks. <- guy who makes all his money on twitter) this means, like -- if i see something from you and get curious and click your profile, it should only take one more click to quickly see at least SOME of your art. on a professional account, it's probably best for your icon to be your own work, something snappy and memorable and eye-catching that reads well at a small size; people shouldn't have to dig for 20 minutes before they can start browsing your art. on twitter, this means TRY not to gunk up your media tab with a ton of reaction images/screencaps of your gacha pulls/etc; on here, it means make your art tag easy to find; on any website, a portfolio link, prominently displayed, is the best bet. (i am still working on that one myself lmao and i've been working professionally full time for a few years now so like, there are outliers and wiggle room on all of this).

next! it's great when your audience finds you, but you have to find them, too. find artists who do similar stuff to you and get into their stuff -- sincerely, not just as "networking." (like only do this with ppl whose stuff you actually think is cool, not just trying to get in mutuals with everyone you see in hopes of a bump, obviously.) get interested in other indie artists, find the people who are working/publishing in the spaces that are exciting and aspirational for you, and support them! i don't want it to sound cynical when i say there's a kind of give-and-take built into this; the point is not "well, if i reblog/retweet a bunch of YOUR stuff, maybe you'll feel obligated to boost mine in return," but that when you find other artists/creatives who are on the same wavelength as you, you will naturally stumble into pools of people who want to support art like yours, and you and your newfound peers will help each other when you hype each other's stuff up and direct followers to each other! (again re: things going differently on dif websites: this is twitter-specific for me, bc i use my tumblr as a gallery/portfolio. that doesn't mean it doesn't happen here tho! it can and does happen everywhere!)

it is really not a competition. i know that SOMETIMES it is in like, a really nitty-gritty numbers sense; people only have so much money to spare, they will make choices about whose patreon they can afford/what comic to buy/etc, that's true. but to me that's not competition. people who are sincerely into your stuff will hang on until they can afford it; maybe that means someone follows you for two whole years before the planets align and they have the budget/opportunity to commission you. by hanging out in similar circles you are not taking potential business or opportunities away from anyone else, nor are you risking leading your own audience to Someone They'll Like Better; you're just offering more options, and the internet is VAST and endless, and EVENTUALLY people will show up who are into YOUR STUFF, SPECIFICALLY. helping each other is never going to stifle or delay that!!

and my final chunk of advice is the one i give constantly that everyone is probably super sick of hearing but i just seriously seriously believe in it, even tho i know it's slow to pay off and hard to follow: keep doing exactly what you want to. keep doing it!!! you have to!!! yes, i mean the stuff that's getting like, 2 likes and 0 reblogs! the stuff that 'nobody likes!'

earlier i mentioned i have gotten big follower bumps from like adhd comics and stuff like that going viral. the thing is that, from a professional standpoint: my follower count has like, more than quintupled from where it was at a few years ago; my patreon income has absolutely NOT quintupled lmfao. it has less than doubled, over that same period of like... i wanna say over 4 years. that's still good, i'm grateful for it, and i owe a lot of it to the sheer numbers game (the more ppl see ur work, the more likely it is you'll reach someone who decides to support you), but there is absolutely not an actual direct correlation between numbers and career success/stability.

where there IS a direct correlation is between "people who give a shit about the art i really truly love making" and "people who like my art enough to support me professionally." HUGE chunks of the followers i get any time something goes viral slough off over time; there's nothing wrong with that, they just follow me bc something was funny/interesting and end up realizing my work's not actually their thing. but the ppl who follow me bc they're into all the stuff i post most consistently, the stuff i care about and am passionate about, stick around. and i would not have found them if i wasn't posting the shit i care about!

out there there are people who will be 100% crazy about the stuff that is 100% what you want to make. it's like actually statistically impossible for there not to be. the more niche your thing is, the longer it will take to find them, but they absolutely exist. but if you give up before you find them -- if you start saying, "well, i'll put in 50% of this idea that i love, but the other 50% is too weird and nobody's gonna like it and it'll flop" -- well, in that case, you can only ever find the ppl who are 50% into what you do. don't fuck yourself like that!! you cannot deny yourself the possibility (the INEVITABILITY!!! IMO!!!!!) of finding the people who will 100% get what you're doing.

so: on a pragmatic level, i'm sure there will be ppl who disagree with me on this, and who think it's absolutely mandatory to do fanart as a crowd draw or learn about algorithms and posting times and get on tiktok and do the visibility grind and everything and that it's stupid and irresponsible to tell people not to. i'm sure it's also easy to point out that i'm speaking from a place where i now have more eyes on my stuff than i know what to fucking do with so maybe i'm just totally out of touch and being naive or something. but for me the most important part of doing art now, ESPECIALLY as a career, is to keep loving it and to believe in what i'm doing and to build an audience that cares about the same things i do. and i think it is really really vital to make that your top priority. bc if you don't, then even if you DO crack the code to suddenly getting tons of notes on everything etc -- will you even keep wanting to do it?

this job is hard. it's lonely, in my experience; i spend so much time sitting in front of my computer alone. it's unstable, which is stressful and can be frightening. it's emotionally taxing, for me, because art is so important to me that it's hard to set boundaries and separate my identity from it and actually treat it like a job. it has taken me a long time to find success doing this; maybe i could have gotten there faster if i had tried to find ways to draw an audience specifically, but i think if i had somehow managed to get a big patreon following/tons of commissioners/etc by doing something formulaic or doing stuff that specifically gets tons of attention, but isn't what's natural for me -- i don't think i would have lasted very long that way. this is already hard and complicated enough; i don't think it's sustainable to give up any unnecessary ground on doing exactly what you're passionate about, bc at least in my case, that's mandatory for this even being a livable career for me. i would burn out and decide to do something else very quickly if the only way to succeed was to chase numbers/engagement.

doing it this way is very slow. if i hadn't been able to lean on family/my wife while starting up, i would have had to have a day job for much longer (like, years, probably) while saving up and preparing to go full time; for as long as you struggle to get traction, it may mean going full time has to be on the backburner. but the thing is that there's nothing wrong with that, it's the reality for the vast majority of us (from what i've seen) -- and you'll eventually build a career that can last way longer, i think.

okay oh my god i'm done. sorry about that. like i said this job is pretty lonely and i sit here all day and think about this stuff and then generally do not talk about it with anyone until somebody asks me about it and then i repeat myself at length again. like i did here. anyway have a good night sincerely and i hope some part of this was helpful!!!

#long post

[dead-petey-au]

Important announcement!

Before I start, I just want everyone to know i am so genuinely grateful for anyone who has read the story. I never knew so many people would like it, and it almost always makes me cry when I think about all the people who have said so very nice things about my story. Thank you.

So, as you may know, I write the chapters of stories ahead of time. So, with chapter 3 just recently being published, I have completed chapter 5.

But, I am in a bit of a tough situation. I do not know how to continue/end the book. I have a few ideas down, but I don't have a full written storyboard or layout.

While I try to figure this out, it might take a long time to get some ideas. That being said, the story will be on a small (or long) hiatus.

If I start losing hope, I might publish a chapter to try and keep me to get going or just to make sure you guys can have something to read. The best part about writing a story, in my opinion, is getting to be able to publish your work and see how people react, so it won't bother me!

But, in worse case scenario, I will be too burnt out and may have to cancel the series- or, at least, for the time being. I won't get bored of the dp au, probably not for another year, so this is most likely the most uncommon situation that will happen.

I just want everyone to know the current situation of my writing. I am also starting to go into a burnout of some sorts and have a lot of school work to catch up on.

But, again- i am so happy that there are people who love my writing. I can't get over it, and the fact that one of the creators I look up to is reading it makes it so much better.

But along with becoming popular, I am also getting self-conscious about my writing, which puts a delay on things.

That being said, I am working on the story and might be able to put out small forms of writing or art or videos for everyone. Thank you for reading and I hope you have the most wonderful day!

-Spencer

#dog man #dog man dp! au #important #announcements

[deliciouskeys]

Writer Tag

Thank you for tagging me, @kosmochlor and @saintmathieublanc<3

How many works do you have on AO3?

47 apparently.

What's your total AO3 word count?

469,180

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) Attack on Titan rated T fic, macro micro (it was part of the canon there lol), blind character element

2) Zinc Molybdate (rising star but very far behind #1)

3) Another Attack on Titan fic rated T. Anime fans are all under 18 I guess.

4) Negan/Rick mpreg lol. I abandoned it when TWD season 8 deeply disappointed me and hopefully that doesn't happen again with the current fandom D: (I don't think it will unless they do something truly idiotic like kill off Ryan in an inexplicable way)

5) The Selfish Gene

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes I do. It's the least I can do when someone takes the time to write something. Plus many of the comments are so thoughtful and sometimes helpful to the writing process. And I just enjoy responding.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Um. Probably an "original fic" set in the holocaust, unfortunately. I've written fics long ago where main characters die, but those are not angsty somehow, just dark/shock value.

What’s the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I think it might be Zinc Molybdate lol. First of all it has an ending. And I'd say it's very optimistic about the human spirit and possibilities for change.

Do you write crossovers?

The only true crossover I ever wrote was Alex from a Clockwork Orange x Norman Bates. But I never crossposted it to AO3 from LJ. Can't imagine why XD I'm more of an AU where you recast the characters into a different world girl.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes, writing bible fic is controversial apparently. Writing holocaust fic is controversial apparently. Mpreg is controversial apparently, although I have never received hate for mpreg on ao3, only on tumblr.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do..... I wouldn't say it's my forte, despite having it in almost every fic and fic chapter lol. I'd say there's always some element of something being 'off'. Normal people having bad sex, or a fucked up pairing having unsettlingly wholesome sex.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. In small enough fandoms some ideas become sort of communal, but that's usually just fun 'sharing'.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

YES! And it's in a language that I'm pretty fluent in (but maybe not fic-writing fluent) so it was a surreal, amazing experience. I've translated several fics from Russian and one from French which was a stretch for me.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Only in terms of translating others' fics. I've always wondered if I'd be able to do it with the right person.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Butchlander. Which probably means my favorite ship is whatever I'm currently hyperfixating on, but I've been on this kick for like 20 months now, so I don't take these things lightly :)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

My very first fic, which I started writing at 18 and abandoned at 19 or 20. I couldn't do it, I couldn't give them a happy ending because the pairing was just too messed up, I couldn't give them a sad ending because that's just not within the realm of what I'm willing to do.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I am all about the Emotional Journey, and thus by extension, characterization. I like writing dialogue, so hopefully that's a strength, otherwise the readers get to suffer lol.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have to remind myself to write even the most basic setting/scenery details. Most of the time I don't think it's very important. I'm probably not a very visual person (although that doesn't mean I don't love art and fanart!). I can write multiple characters outside of the pairing, and those scenes are fun, but I tend to prefer hyperfocusing on just the 2 mains, which is probably a limitation.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oh god, I did it in a fic, and ... I shall leave it as I wrote it in my 20s, but... it was ill-advised. I'd say don't do it unless it's a language you know, and even then... why.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Uh. Peter Pan. And I don't mean during the Once Upon a Time craze that happened much later.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Within the Boys, I'll also say Starlander. I like it, and honestly the canon leaves much to be desired, so it's fertile ground. Fandomwise, I read quite a bit of Batjokes and Symbrock, but never wrote anything for them.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

I'll go with Zinc Molybdate. It's got that new relationship fandom energy that is impossible to just bottle up and deploy when wanted. But I like them all.

Zero pressure tags (and sorry if you've been tagged elsewhere) @phoenixtakaramono @eutz @merry-andrews and anyone who sees this and has ao3!

#writing meta #ao3 #ask meme

[evvlevie]

Let me simplify reality shifting for you: a metaphor on shifting that will make shifting easier for you. 

Hi, Hello, my Name is Evie and today I will calm your racing mind down and explain to you why shifting is not only real but also very plausible and NATURAL.

Where do we start? Shifting is not what many title as "a tik Tok trend among depressed teens who try to escape reality". It also is neither lucid dreaming, maladaptive daydreaming or just a wild imagination. It is exactly what it sounds like: you experience a different reality. Not a dream reality. A DIFFERENT one.

The whole concept of shifting is based on the multiverse theory. The theory, that every time you make a choice or decision the universe splits and creates a whole new parallel universe in which you chose the alternative option. That's very briefly explained but basically that's all you need to know.

When shifters start their journey they usually haven't really grasped yet, what a shift is. When they hear that they can shift to a reality in which they are a Hogwarts Student, or a MCU Character or a sparkly vampire in the twilight universe they feel almost overwhelmed (at least I know I did). You usually ask yourself questions like: How is this fictional Universe supposed to materialize in front of me? How am I supposed to just become a vastly different looking person out of nowhere? etc etc

Here is my little simplification for you:

So I work at a grocery store, and my job is ONLY the cash register. I live in Germany, so the workers can sit down for that. We have 5 Registers, but only at the very first one you have to stand, which I try to avoid as much as possible. Every time before I come in to work I think about which Register I want to be at that day, and then I decide (manifest) that for example today I want to be register 5. I arrive at work, and my coworker who assigns the registers tells me that today I was assigned to be the fifth register (as expected). So what happened? While I was walking to work, I made a manifestation, which shifted me to a reality in which I have the desired register. My desired reality.

I like to think of shifting as an art gallery. You need to realize that you are not your body. Or your mind. You are CONSCIOUSNESS. You are aware of your current reality, which is why you experience it. You, as a conscious being, are looking at the painting that is your current reality. When you decide to shift, you decide to just look at another painting at the gallery. This does not mean that the other paintings/realities do not exist or never existed right? You just don‘t pay attention to them right now, which is why you don‘t see them. But they are still there. You just aren't AWARE of them.

Now to give you an idea of how many paintings there are in this gallery. It's a lot. Think of every single name that exists in this reality. Now imagine how many those must be. This is only the number of realities that were created the second you were named your CR name. Slap on the same amount of names for the realities in which you were born as the opposite gender. There probably is a reality in which your name is lamp shade. So when you would shift to the lamp shade reality you basically just look away from your current reality painting and decide to look at the one where your name is lamp shade. We shift every single time we take a breath because we are looking away from the paintings in which we didn't, you see? You shift every single step you take because you aren't experiencing the realities in which you don‘t. You shift every time you manifest something and it happens, because manifestation is shifting, too.

Life is not built on coincidence. Nothing is coincidental. Everything is shifting. And just because you want to shift to a reality which is vastly different from the current one, it's not ANY HARDER. You are always just looking at different painting with your consciousness. Just because you are looking at a more complicated painting doesn't mean the looking away part is less simple. YOU just have to look at painting. You are not the one building the realities from scratch. Your job is to experience them, and to decide which one to look at.

so yeah. shifting is easy. it's simple, it's natural, it's all you have ever done in life. you can do it too, because you have already done it. multiple times. you are literally already present in your DR, you just aren't looking at the painting, yet. Do not doubt your power to look away. Everyone can, does, did and will keep on going to.

I hope this was helpful, and remember: Your thoughts are your reality. Shifting is only as hard or as easy as you make it out to be. Chose to look at the painting in which it's the easiest, and keep on looking at as many reality paintings as you want.

a lot of love,

Evie <3

#law of assumption #law of manifestation #law of attraction #loa #manifesting #manifestation #self concept #current reality #desired reality #desired life #reality shift #reality shifting #shifting realities #shifting #shifting community #spiritualgrowth #spirituality #spiritual vibrations #spiritual community #spiritualawakening #spiritualjourney #motivation #success #shifting motivation

[moorishflower]

Hello dear, I wanted to take the time to also tell you about how much I love your works! After you started us off with Isaiah 45:23 and made poppies our dreamling flower I think "That I should wedded-be" has left a really deep impact on me and will always be one of my favourites. The whole eating of the heart and the way it is referenced throughout the series of follow-up works as the way they are connected is just. So. Good. For me. I haven't read the latest installment but I'm looking forward to it! (I want to have the time to enjoy it so it's still on my to read list.)

Maybe sprout wings is my the second fav, I have worried so much over these two over the course of reading, it was great to follow along and be able to read it as you publish it. I usually prefer reading fics when they're completed, but with this fandom I have found dedicated writers whose fics I gladly follow along while they are written, you among them. :) I could go on which of your fics I like but I'd have to list all of them, and there are so many! I will have to reread a few! Vampire Dream! Slutty dress Hob! Power bottom omega Hob! So many great short stories!! So many brilliant ideas! SIREN DREAM my dearest heart <3<3<3 The most I hope to see more of are your two unfinished works, If I please you and The Whole of Love Contained. 1389 Hob has a special place in my heart always and forever and I am very invested in his journey to Canterbury, also I am dying to know what happens to hurt Hob with fretting Dream and all his siblings. I'd also love more of the Wine-dark sea!

Well, this has been my love letter to you without much poetry because I'm not that good at words and not a native English-speaker. So instead I will share a poem of dear George with you because I am currently down a romantic rabbit hole of Byron's works:

When I dream that you love me, you’ll surely forgive; Extend not your anger to sleep; For in visions alone your affection can live,— I rise, and it leaves me to weep. Then, Morpheus! envelop my faculties fast, Shed o’er me your languor benign; Should the dream of to-night but resemble the last, What rapture celestial is mine! They tell us that slumber, the sister of death, Mortality’s emblem is given; To fate how I long to resign my frail breath, If this be a foretaste of Heaven!

Ah! frown not, sweet Lady, unbend your soft brow, Nor deem me to happy in this; If I sin in my dream, I atone it for now, Thus doom’d, but to gaze upon bliss. Though in visions, sweet Lady, perhaps you may smile, Oh! think not my penance deficient! When dreams of your presence my slumbers beguile, To awake, will be torture sufficient.

Tashina words can't express how touching and how beautiful and how KIND this message is, and how kind YOU are! I look forward to every comment you leave me, and your art and your fic is SO SO good, and deserving of most effusive praise <3 If I Please You is coming along steadily, and Whole of Love is sort of on the backburner at the moment but I don't have any plans to abandon it, there's just SO MUCH that I want to write that it feels like I'm an overfull helium balloon LOL

Thank you for the BEAUTIFUL poem, gosh Byron was an insufferable man but he damn well knew how to write love poetry ToT And I hope you have a fantastic new year my dear!!!

#ask response

[abimee]

my idea goes like this: it art blog is from a time, a time that is years ago. a time when i was 13? maybe 14. but my archive only goes back to february of 2015. because this art blog was originally a side secret blog i made to post embarassing shipping art i didnt want on my main account, which is an entirely different account from my current main account.

i made exactly 3 posts, got ashamed of it because none of my friends wanted to follow it, and forgot about it. i came back to it a year later and deleted the 3 posts off of it, and rebranded it as an art blog. it had pretty blue sky background and cute border decoration. my art was not good. but this was when i wanted to take my art seriously, make a ''place'' for my art that wasnt random tags on my main blog. i wanted to be /known/, because i was 14 years old in the era of kyleehenkes and stuff, and people with art blogs got popular.

cut forward to now, im nowhere closer to that goal. i was never going to be. and i never will. i had a brief taste of popularity when in the undertale fandom, but it also came with deep bouts of depression and problems with harassment over disliking a male fictional character. it wasnt fun anymore. i was failing highschool. i hated my life, and art was my only escape, its all i had in my life.

fast forward back to now, the high has been ridden and im no longer a teenager. the dream of being a well liked artist is beyond salvage in my hopes. it will just never happen. ive accepted it and marched on with the ideals of not wanting it. but this blog continues to hold that sensation in its walls; it wants the attention, to be that dream. its a reminder to me of something, of many things, ive failed to obtain. failure has been a chronic part of my life, ive barely ever done anything successfully, and every single artistic endeveaors ive strived for has all failed. ive failed in entering zines, in making my own zine, in winning competitions, of getting notority, in being the best in class, in doing anything ive set out to do. ive failed making comics, making animation, making simple clothes, making dolls, etc. ive never won at a single artistic endevar. ive never known the joy of ''winning''.

and it sits in my brain of like, why. why should i keep drawing. why should i do any of this. why have i kept up this hobby at all? a nebulous concept. i dont know. does it bring me joy? yes. does it bring me anguish and self hatred in the same hand? yes. ive never been satisfied, ive never been able to let things be, something must always be wrong, someting must always be embarassing. this blog is a festering of my inability to pick a decision and to pussyfoot for years on the single question of; should i keep doing this?

ask me some days and ill say yes, ask me others and ill say no. i dont know. is art for me? not really. have i sunk 15 years into it? yes. am i any good at it? [hand waving side to side motion]. does this mean anything? no. but the walls remember, and it will keep laughing at me. that i fail to even decide to put down the pencil or not. younger me laughs at me, i laugh at myself, my audience laughs at me. there is no winning here. i dont like abimee, and it doesnt like me

[4th-make-quail]

Asks for a Fic Writer!

Tagged by @eemamminy-art and @nateharmonica thank you!!

--

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 138! Which is weird cos it feels like only 2 minutes ago I was excited about hitting 100 lol

2. what's your total AO3 word count? 401,149 total

3. what fandoms do you write for? My top 5 written for fandoms are FFXIV (27), Resident Evil (26), FFXII (15), inFamous (13) and FFXV (13)! But I have a load of others as well - atm it's Baldur's Gate 3, alternated with my perennial beloved FFXII

4. what are your top five fics by kudos? Point of No Return - Resident Evil, Chris/Wesker, time travel fix-it fic Aphrodisiac - Overwatch, Reaper/Soldier 76, collaring and gloves kink Like a Drug - Resident Evil, Chris/Wesker, STARS era drug bust Filters - FFXV, Prompto/Ignis, 5 things fic about Prompto's photo taking Between Death and Ascension - Magnus Archives, Jon/Gerry, post season 3 fix it that got immediately jossed upon s4 releasing lol. Honestly I'm amazed this one is here, considering Jon/Gerry is a bit of a rarepair. Or at least, it was back then!! I have no idea of the current state of TMA fandom (and don't wanna know, ugh lmao)

5. do you respond to comments? Always as a rule, but usually quite a long time after I get them lksgfg

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Has to be From the Flames of the Fire, I Feel You, part 4 of my Sartauvoir/Basch series, because it's the fic where Basch dies at the end, and it finishes off with a notice from Noah about the death and funeral arrangements. I cried on my lunch break at work writing this fucker lmao

8. do you get hate on fics? I've not had anything since my ffn days, where I got a very mean comment about OOC. I mean, it was true, but MAN.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? It's very rare that I don't write smut! I think the yuletide fic I wrote was the first time in years lol. Either way, I like to write kinky porn with feelings and character study shit

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written? Not any more, but the craziest crossover with the most specific-ass audience was a British Comedy RPF crossed with FFX, where David Mitchell is a summoner and Charlie Brooker and Robert Webb are his guardians. It's called Spira Infinita, and I never did end up finishing it lmao. Oops. Either way, I had a blast writing it and I still think it was fucking good, all 9 kudos of it!! God... this just made me remember I also wrote a brooker/mitchell crossover with mgs. I was on some shit back then I tell you what

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of! I'm not big enough for that, I think

12. have you ever had a fic translated? I thiiiink someone once asked me, but I forgot which fic it was tbh!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes!! I co-wrote one of my fave Ashe/Basch/Vossler fics with my friend when we got assigned each other for an ff_land exchange - Five Moments of Desire. It was really fun, we had a great time!

14. what's your all-time favourite ship? GOD this is hard!!! I think Nero/Credo tbh, I never get tired of thinking about them, even as sadly underrated as they are. Also Sartauvoir/Basch is highly up there, I've never been seized with such an insane streak of inspiration for a ship. They got me in their clutches and no mistake!!

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I don't actually have much in the way of wips, but I do have 5k of a Sart/Basch AU where Sart channels his fenex summoning to bring Basch back to life, but it stalled a little due to a combo of scheduling for other things, other ships taking over my brain for a bit, and honestly the general lack of fandom for them? I have a few close friends I met because of the ship, but getting such low response to things is really demoralising and makes it hard to continue. I DO want to finish it for sure, but atm I am too gripped by other ships so idk if it'll happen.

16. what are your writing strengths? I think dialogue for sure, and characterisation.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Fight scenes x_x Which is annoying, because I love them and have a lot of sparring/fighting related kinks!!! I persevere, but I hate every moment of writing them lol

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Uhh nothing I've ever done! I think it'd be fine if you're fluent in that language OR if you have a trusted friend who is, who can give you actual sense-making sentences, but otherwise, do not!

19. first fandom you wrote for? Baby's first fandom was handwritten Redwall/Discworld crossover in reporter's notebooks as a very young child, but my first fandom-fandom was ffvii, where I wrote a frankly terrible Reno/Vincent fic! And idek why cos I don't ship it at all? I think I just had a boner for both of them and wanted to get it out. It is still on ffn alas, but eugh.

20. favourite fic you've written? Honestly I think it's my SartBasch series, Body Politics. It caters directly to my own id, and I think it's really good! I actually planned it out as a cohesive series AND actually finished writing it! Proud of myself lol. And I just.... *clenches fist* love those old men.....

----- tagging people, if u wanna do this, then consider urself tagged!!

#quailfic #ask quail #thank u for the tags!!

[daiziesssart]

Hey, @daiziesssart

I just want to say that I’m in LOVE with the way you draw Lily. Honestly, you have such incredible talent and the amount of details that you put into each drawing, it always leaves me speechless! I’m so happy that you share your talent, I hope you know that you have such a beautiful talent. 🥺

If you don’t mind me asking, how long does each drawing take? Not just time-wise, but also do you have an idea in mind when you begin the drawing? Or do you get ideas in the middle and switch up the piece you are currently working on?

I hope you are doing well ❤️

OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS SO SWEET??? this message was like the writing equivalent of a warm hug i’m going to be thinking about it forever

gonna put this under a read more because honestly this got so long and i do not know how that happened i am so sorry?????? omg

i absolutely don’t mind!! to be honest, my art process is SO chaotic and unorganized, which is a direct reflection of my brain, lol. sometimes i get ideas and i’ll be drawing them in the same day, and other times what i post is an idea that i’ve had cooking in my noggin for awhile and finally managed to draw it (although it seems like the ones that i draw immediately when they come to mind perform a lot better, so maybe there’s something to be said about not overthinking an idea and just draw it pfff) just as an example, these ones are ideas i drew in the same day, whereas this one was Marinating in my noggin for awhile

i’m also a HUGE perfectionist, to the point where me tweaking and overcorrecting is a majority of my time spent on my art, lol. like i’ll be 90% of the way finished with an art piece, find something i suddenly Hate and then i redraw that entire thing. and then usually i end up realizing that i was just imagining things from staring at my own art for too long and then change it back to how it was originally LOLOL (i do this almost every time) that being said, i feel like i’m a pretty slow artist bc of that which is something i’m trying to work on!! sometimes i’ll even finish something, hate how it looks and start it completely from scratch lol

i do tend to switch sometimes! i have crazy adhd so i’m usually Super Focused on whatever i’m currently working on, but if i’m not liking how it’s turning out, i’ll start a new idea and come back to that one later (maybe) (i have so many unfinished jily wips) (help me)

(most of my jily wips are wips because most of my ideas are definitely suited better for writing and i have not written a fanfic since i was 14 and writing fanfiction for victorious and icarly)

THANK U SO MUCH FOR BEING SO SWEET MWAH

#ask #i always ramble #my brain is like 13 tvs playing different shows at the exact same time on max volume

[actual-bill-potts]

🛒 🧐 🦅👀 for the fanfic asks please! And I hope your Monday improves ❤️

🛒What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc. Ooh this one made me think. I think that grief and loss are very common motifs; I have written a lot of fic about characters' response to irredeemable loss. Part of that, I believe, is an effort to deal with my own angst re: the passage of time. That theme is something I find very compelling about the Silm, because pretty much every character in the story is doomed forever (or at least they think so).

It's also something that I am fascinated by in Doctor Who: how do you continue to love and go on when everyone around you is dying? It's a very potent metaphor for the human condition, because all of us are doomed to suffer and die, probably sooner than we'd like. What does it look like to create meaning in a world like that? For Finrod (and the eleventh Doctor, blorbo of my late teens), the answer is: there are always new people to love. Maglor would, perhaps, answer: the art we make is worth it. Maedhros might respond: there is no meaning, but I'm gonna live anyway cuz fuck Angband. etc. etc.

Apart from that - I use a lot of dawn/dusk/starlight juxtaposition imagery because, well, I'm writing silm fanfic lol. I think I write a lot of scenes where characters are trying to say something but just can't and end up saying something entirely different/characters are talking at cross-purposes/etc, just because I find that fun and brain-tickling to write.

🧐Do you spend much time researching for your stories? ...yes and no. I spend a ton of time checking timelines, maps etc of First Age Beleriand. And various other details. But other than that I'm not like. too picky about most things? For instance if there's a lot of medical treatment, etc. in my stories I do enough research to make it generally plausible and then kind of elide a lot of details because a) I am writing this for fun and don't have time for thesis-level research and b) it's a fantasy setting anyway so realism is not my #1 priority.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants? Depends on the length of the fic! Oneshots/vignettes I do not outline whatsoever, I get an idea and sit down to write it and whatever comes out is what you get lol. For multi-chapter fics, I do outline but it tends to be pretty rough. For instance, for towers I have a general outline of major events and then I will do a slightly more detailed outline for a chapter or two at a time to make sure I'm including everything I need to for the plot to move along (at least a little lol).

A peculiarity of mine is that I find it very difficult not to write in chronological order, like if "Maedhros and Maglor have a conversation where they say X Y and Z" is in my outline and then something happens later in the fic based on that conversation. I cannot write what happens until I've written the conversation. Really when I'm writing dialogue - and dialogue drives a lot of my fic - I kind of turn my brain off and just try to channel the characters. Sometimes that takes me fun places :)

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please! Oooh. ok I have two.

The Athrabeth script! I am writing a movie-style script inspired by the Athrabeth, in an attempt to make it read a little more easily/convey what I think Tolkien was trying to get at to a modern audience. I'm about halfway through currently - it's been much more difficult to write than I expected, lol. There are so many undercurrents in the piece as written that are difficult to get across without having Finrod and Athrabeth just monologue at each other - and I'm trying to make it flow like a conversation rather than competing speeches.

WIP currently entitled "Finrod and babies," an entirely self-indulgent piece of work in which I write Finrod interacting with. many small children. no major plot, just utterly shameless fluff.

Thank you so much!! <3

#my writing #asked and answered #ask game

[aspd-culture]

do you have any suggestions or advice for people with ASPD who experience strong homicidal thoughts (or thoughts about acts of strong violence in general)? I feel like this topic is already so rarely talked about, and even when it is most resources focus on people struggling with intrusive thoughts, not genuine fantasies. (just to clarify: not in crisis or actually planning to do anything, just annoyed of constantly thinking about this). People usually just say to “get help”, but I’ve been getting help for years now and nothing has changed.

To be honest, most of my current coping mechanisms for violent thoughts are unhealthy but not destructive (most often w**d which is legal where I am and/alcohol), so I don't recommend them. I agree that getting help for these types of thoughts is extremely difficult, especially while balancing the dreaded "danger to yourself or others" mandated reporter line. I do have some ideas, though.

Check google to see if there is a "wreck room" of some kind around you. These are safe places with safety practices and PPE that exist to allow people to take out aggressive anger on items (aka smash things) in ways that are not destructive to your or other's property or person. These are showing up more and more nowadays as we realize that this outlet can be done healthily if people are given the access and tools to do it in a healthy way. While it isn't the same as hurting someone, it stimulates many of the same parts of the brain. Also, doing it in a wreck room means you don't have to do the cleanup. Major bonus there.

If you can't afford that but have things you can break and a safe area you're willing to fully clean later, you can do the same type of thing at home. Make sure you always wear PPE like goggles and gloves, and if you are doing it outside make sure anything a child or animal running through your yard (even if you don't have kids or animals, kids wander and strays exist) is fully cleaned up. Please inform the people you live with if you take this method, as it can be scary to walk in on this type of thing and you could get the cops called on you if you don't inform them. Lie if you have to: "my friend needs broken pieces of XYZ for an art project", "this is really bulky and took up too much space in the garbage can so I'm breaking it down", or the ever iconic "my ex gave it to me", for example.

I sometimes find other replacement behaviors via video games like COD and Apex Legends helpful, but they don't always help everyone.

Punching bags are one of my preferred replacement behaviors, but they are often expensive and difficult to set up, making them inaccessible.

Watching violent movies or documentaries or true crime podcasts on real violent crimes often helps me, but that kind of thing makes things worse for some people.

Gross motor activities like walking, running, swimming, etc can be helpful as they stimulate similar parts of the brain to the ones violent actions do.

I know you mentioned you are not in crisis or active planning, but for anyone who may be, a disclaimer: If you or anyone reading this honestly feels they may be a threat to themselves or others, I can only advise getting help and speaking to a professional about this. Top priority should always be safety above all else, and checking yourself in to get help before you do something drastic is always going to be easier and better for everyone than trying to hide from or handle the repercussions of that event later. There are emergency systems and programs in place to help you learn to cope or find medications that can help you if you are in an urgent situation, before something bad happens, but tumblr is not one of them; I am not one of them.

Whatever you do, please keep yourself and others safe. I hope this helps.

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #tw violent urges #tw violence mention #tw violent imagery #tw violence #tw violent thoughts #tw true crime #cw violence #tw homicide #anons welcome