#i have been trying so fucking hard for so long to mend our relationship and she's parried almost every attempt at healing so far
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gggrrrrrrrrrr
#ctxt#family cw#my mother has been behaving in some WAYS lately that are deeply hurtful to those around her#and either can't see it or is unwilling to accept how her actions affect her family#oh my god she is exhibiting some. uh. choice behaviors in my texts this morning and i am so tired of being diplomatic & compassionate#i wanna lay into her like a dog on a rope toy i'm so fucking furious. absolutely livid.#can she just move across the country with her new boyfriend already so i don't have to deal with her horseshit any more???#i have been trying so fucking hard for so long to mend our relationship and she's parried almost every attempt at healing so far#so fine!! fuck you!! it's biting time!!!#shit chat
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God, I love golden retriever men so much.
*Intensely staring at my fav athlete*
Now, that I have a brainrot~
1. Our lovely Athlete with a nerd darling.
- This would be funny. It is giving black cat × golden retriever. So hard.
- Darling has anemia? She's used to sitting around and reading? Can't walk too long to save her life? He's fucking carrying her everywhere.
- Can you imagine darling bringing a book about his sport (I don't know if you've mentioned what he plays) to the game and reading as they watch him play cuz they don't know crap about sports? He'd be so, "But you're supposed to be watching me." :Insert puppy eyes:
- He's isolating darling? Eh, Darling needs a 4 hour nap after every social gathering anyway.
Ok but-
2. Him with a nerd darling who's a childhood best friend, where darling has a childhood filled with emotional and physical abuse. (I'm finna design a whole ass character to ship him with. If you don't mind, of course.)
- This.
- Don't let me get started on this.
- They would be so power couple coded fr. (Darling knows Athlete is trying to manipulate her. Doesn't care as long as she's getting taken care of.)
- Darling is snarky with a S.
- Darling: "The cheerleader was flirting with you."
Athlete: "I know. :3"
Darling: "Go marry her."
Athlete: "But you're the love of my life. :("
Darling: "Oh, really? I could've sworn it was Cindy instead. Go to her, shoo."
Athlete: "No."
Darling: "Who's bestie are you?"
Athlete: "Yours."
Darling: "Exactly."
- Don't let this fool you, tho. He's def the dominant one in the relationship.
Athlete: "You're my baby :D."
Darling: "Mhmm. Don't say that infront of anyone else."
Athlete: "Why not?"
Darling: "I'll bite your head off, that's why."
(spoiler, he says it in front of everyone and darling does nothing but get shy.)
Darling: "Why would you say that?"
Athlete: "Becuz you're my baby?"
Darling: *cuddles closer to him.* *Whispering* "I'm his baby."
- 💗 anon (if I may) (also, he's my baby now, thank you. I'm keeping him in my head and heart.) (It's so late at night. I just keep thinking about this 😭 and I can't put my thoughts into proper words rn, bear with me on this)
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈
𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗮𝗳𝗮𝗯!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿
Trigger Warnings; yandere behaviors, possessive behavior, talk about trauma bonding (both reader and yandere or mentally ill), yandere masking, bad writing, and me rambling (I'm so sorry 💗Nonny lol)
If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡
I offically declare you 💗Nonny!! And I don't mind you coming up with your own interpertations of reader and LoveSick!Athlete! Just share 'em! Also, I may or may not have gone on a tiny, just tiny, tangent, so sorry 💗Nonny... Feel free to submit more asks if 'ya want
LoveSick!Athlete can really mold and mend well with most personalities and darlings, this is due to his manipulative personality. A little off-topic, but he really has a hard time understanding who he is because he's always pretending to be what others deem "acceptable". This causes him to have a multitude of identity crises, but when his darling, you, comes into the picture, it makes it easier for him to find himself. He feels like he's the real him whenever he's with you. You just feel so natural, he feels natural, too. It's just right.
And for that reason, I think LoveSick!Athlete would go really well with a childhood!reader, seeing as she's been with him since they were young. And, I'm not too sure if you've read my Yan!Alphabet for him, but I mention LoveSick!Athlete's childhood; let's just say it wasn't the best situation for a kid.
LoveSick!Athlete would feel a special bond with his darling now, seeing as they've been together threw thick and thin. He's trama bounded to you, and you to him. We'll run off the assumption that reader has also had a bad childhood, whether it be an absent parent, abusive sibling/family member/or parent, whatever it is allows you to feel a connection to LoveSick!Athlete, seeing as you have a mutual situation. You both have something to bond over, something that locks you together.
He has a bad home environment, you have a bad home environment. He doesn't feel at home, so you become his home, and he to you.
And I like to run on the assumption that reader is all talk, no bite. And if you've read any of my writing where the reader talks, you'll see that I prefer to write reader as more "real" (to me anyway) because I'm personally not the hugest fan of the "helpless" reader. I like to write a darling who has a mouth, someone who's bratty (but that's 'cause I'm a brat lol).
Anyway, I'm getting off-topic, back to LoveSick!Athlete.
To your idea about a snarky reader, I totally agree. Honestly, LoveSick!Athlete would eat that shit up, no joke. He would love it, as he enjoys the back-and-forth between you two. He loves to press your buttons, wanting to see what sarcastic reply you have ready for him.
The thing is, he knows your just talking shit, never willing to actually do anything. You just run your mouth, and he lets you, but whenever you step outta line, sometimes, he's gotta put you back. Though, you'll never think of it like that. No, no, he's too sweet for that. He's gotta keep that golden retriever vibe going, y'know?
He just swat you on the ass, telling you that you got such a dirty mouth, mamas? I thought you were my little princess, no? Girls with a face like yours shouldn't be speakin' that like-
He'll just move on, as if he didn't just grope your butt, nope, not at all. And you'll be standing there awestruck, face red, and biting your tongue as you try to not overheat in embarrassment!!
It never ceases to entertain him, watching your face widen with surprise whenever he refers to you as his girl, his cute little girlfriend. The way your face heats up when he wraps his strong arm around your waist, putting his cap on your head (a silent sign of possession over you, trying to get the guy in the back to keep his eyes to himself, but you don't need to know that ;)).
In your little monologue, you go over some cheerleader girl (named Cindy??). Though I would agree that chicks (and some dudes) practically flock around LoveSick!Athlete, I would say that he doesn't even pay them any mind, not even entertaining the thought. Don't get me wrong, he'll talk to them, but make it painstakingly clear that he's only got one girl on his mind, you.
Most of the time, the girl will just find it endearing, slapping his shoulder, and telling him that he'd make a great husband or some shit like that. Of course, the chicks joking, making some nice comments to leave the, now awkward, conversation, but LoveSick!Athlete will take it to heart. Now, he's imagining a pretty ring on your finger, something he paid for, he got you. Because he'd be such a good provider for you, don't you know?
Another thought, 'cause I'm on a role, but I'm not sure if I've directly said this or not, but LoveSick!Athlete is a hockey player. I've tried putting strickly hockey photos on all my posts (you should see my Pinterest feed, it's filled with hot guys lolol).
Hockey is an aggressive sport, I would know. I used to ice skate every day for an hour or two. And, trust me, I got to see a lot of hot guys, though I was always too nervous to say anything, that's beside the point.
I can imagine that reader would be the same, intimidated by these testastrone-filled, young men who just wanna get all sweaty and gross. And I prefer to think that reader also doesn't know how to skate, much to LoveSick!Athlete's enjoyment.
Just to torture you, he'll take you to his ice rink, partly wanting to show you off, and also wanting you to rely on him to move around. He won't even let you hold onto the side, nope, all you got is him, babes.
And anyone who's been to a rink before knows that if you're not on the wall, or smack in the middle of the rink, you're in traffic, especially if it's busy. And this means that you gotta go fast, keeping pace with everyone else. And there's always a handful of assholes (usually hockey players) who will purposefully do a hockey stop, flinging a shit tone of ice at newbies.
I imagine that this shit would happen all the time and LoveSick!Athete is enjoying it sm. He gets a rush every time you flinch, clinging onto him tighter, especially when the really fast skaters zoom by you, scaring the crap outta you.
And he won't let you go at your own pace, forcing you to follow his lead. This means you're going far too fast for comfort, leaning on him for support. You're arms wrapped around his bicep, which isn't recommended btw. Your cheek pressed against his arm, holding on for dear life.
You'll snap at him, telling him to shut up and stop enjoying this, you dork. I'm only clinging to 'cause I gotta!
And he'll just take it, giving you a lopsided smirk.
#𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚#𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡'𝙨 𝙮𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚'𝙨#💗!𝙉𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙮#lovesick#anon#ask away#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere oc x you#yandere oc#yandere male#yandere imagines#obsessive love#x reader#oc x reader
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Benny Rodriguez x Reader Pt 1.
Lil intro: Hi, my name is Y/N McClennan, I'm the older sister of Alan McClennan, but everyone calls him YeahYeah. I am 17 years old, a junior, and I have the best boyfriend ever, Phillips. I love baseball. I used to play at the Sandlot with the boys, but when I started dating Phillips, the boys got really pissed at me. It's been about a year since I've touched a baseball or even talked to my old friends, which was when I started dating Phillips. This has been incredibly hard since the boys have been my best friends for as long as I can remember. However, the only thing I can really do about it now is to accept the fact that I broke their trust. Especially Benny's.
Actual Story: Y/N's POV
I was incredibly excited for today. It was finally the official last day of my junior year. After a long and anticipated wait, school just got out, and now it's time for one of my last summers in the San Fernando Valley.
Of course, as part of my everyday routine, I walked up to Phillips's locker. "Hey," I said.
"Hey, baby," Phillips replied as he kissed my cheek. He grabbed my hand, and I gladly took it, but out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something unusual. Benny was looking at us, and it was clear he wasn't too thrilled.
This made me a little upset and curious because Benny and I were best friends for almost as long as I can remember. The day that our friendship ended was the day that I told him I started dating Phillips, which will be a year in two days. Everyone except Scotty and my brother rebelled to get me off their team, and we haven't talked since.
I still remember how he looked when I told him. He didn't look pissed off, he just looked sad and disappointed. The pain in his eyes, the betrayal. I understand that he and Phillips don't get along, but as my best friend, I was hoping he would have been supportive. I didn't realize I was thinking so much until Phillips cut me off.
"You okay babe?" Phillips asked.
"Yeah, of course, I'm fine," I replied with a slight smile.
He turned around, clearly knowing I was lying. Benny was still looking at us. "You're looking at Rodriguez?" Phillips asked.
"Oh, um yeah. I just wanted to make sure he saw this," I said as I passionately kissed Phillips. I don't even know why I did this. I would've liked to have mended my relationship with Benny, but this just shows that I don't care. How could I be so fucking stupid?
We pulled away when we heard a locker door and a door slam. I looked at where Benny was standing. He was gone. I could tell he was infuriated. I could kind of feel his pain in a way. It was obvious Benny was irritated when he saw us before I made the rash decision of kissing Phillips in front of him. I should have just left it at that.
In all honesty, I've always had a little crush on Benny. The way he is so passionate about baseball, it's pretty hot. Once Benny and I talked about the future, and what we wanted. He made it very clear that he did not have time for a relationship, nor did he want one. I knew at that moment I had to move on. So, I went with someone who had put in the effort of trying to impress me and decided to give him a chance.
I love Phillips, I mean, he's great, and we're super happy, but sometimes I wonder how happy I would be with Benny. I really miss him. After all, he was my best friend. I'm going to talk to Yeah-Yeah when I get home to see if the boys would let me back on the team. They really were the best and most loyal friends a girl could have. And what did I do? I started dating their enemy. Like who does that? Thinking about it now, I see why they kicked me off the team, and I wouldn't blame them if they didn't want to be friends again.
After thinking, Phillips and I start walking to his house. It's only a couple of blocks, so we don't feel the need to drive. It's nice walking with him. It's giving me time to clear my head and push out any doubts that I have.
Phillips then breaks the silence, "Y/N, are you okay? You've been acting weird since we saw Rodriguez." I sigh and reply, "I don't know. I just really miss my friends. I love you, and you know that, but I just wish they would get over it." Phillips responds, "I know you miss them. You also need to understand that, besides Rodriguez, there's an age difference there. They're only 14 and 15. Them being like this is somewhat valid, they're supposed to be immature, you know? Rodriguez, on the other hand, that's just immature." I don't say anything; I just give him a peck on the cheek and smile. We look up to see that we're standing outside his house. We go in, start watching movies, and cuddle.
After we get done hanging out at his house, I kiss Phillips goodbye, get in my car that I drove over to his house before school, and drive home. I start bawling in the car. Phillips made a lot of sense, but it doesn't hurt any less. I reach my driveway, park my car, and then head inside my house. I walk to Yeah-Yeah's room to go talk to him and see how the boys are doing. Once I get to his room, he's not in there. I guess he's still out with them. I then walk to my room and try to go to sleep in order to prevent myself from crying again.
After struggling to fall asleep for a few hours, I left my bedroom. I look in Yeah-Yeah's room to see if he's home. He's passed out cold. I have no one to talk to currently, so I walk to the one place I can fully clear my thoughts.
Lmk if y’all want part 2!! <3
#fanfic#vintage#writing#the sandlot#benny rodriguez#benny rodriguez x reader#80s#90s#90s nostalgia#baseball#mike vitar#fluff
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I love your writing 🥰🥰
ignore this if you don't like it but im thinking of graves trying hard to mend his relationship with 141 and it seems to be going well until he starts getting secretive again, and they start to think he's going to turn again, maybe even price is worried, only to discover he's actually helping his shadows, some of his boys who survived 🥺🥺
I got you!
~~~~
Price started to notice his team being skittish around Graves again. It wasn't the outward distrust before, more like they tried to avoid Graves being alone at all. Graves was getting annoyed, but clearly trying to hide that. At the very least, he seemed determined to grin and bear it. Price almost found it admirable. He knew he fucking couldn't.
But tonight was different. Tonight, Price woke up alone and Graves was in the bathroom. On the phone.
Price crept closer to hear him talking through the door.
"Listen, I'm trying. I promise." Graves was whispering, sounding upset. "Are you safe?"
The wood creaked softly and he realized Graves was pacing. His voice disappearing for a moment before coming back. Price frowned and tried to get closer.
Graves sighed softly. "I'll talk soon, okay? Stay safe guys."
Price moved backed, laying down and pretending to be asleep. He felt Graves slide back into bed with him. After a moment, Graves moved closer, putting his head on Price's chest with one arm slung over him. They sat there quietly a long time.
Price's brain went a mile a minute.
Was Graves working with someone else again?
He shouldn't have trusted him.
Graves lightly pressed his lips against Price’s chest. He squeezed him a little tighter before falling back to sleep.
Price stayed close to him, but he knew very well that he couldn’t really prevent anything. He couldn’t do much but try to remind Graves how much happier he was with them. With him.
Alejandro raised his concerns to him. “He keeps disappearing. Rudy caught him on the phone twice and he’ll hang up as soon as he gets close. I know you two are... close but...”
“I’m keeping an eye on it. Trust me.”
Alejandro sighed. “So you noticed too huh? Not just me being paranoid...” He looked almost sad about it.
“I’m hoping we’re all just paranoid.”
“For all of our sakes.”
For a while, Price thought it was behind them. Graves sought him out constantly and Ghost trailed him several times and he didn’t do anything suspicious.
Price woke up to hear him on the phone again.
Graves sounded sleepy, but he kept talking, reassuring whoever he was on the phone with. Price closed his eyes and sighed softly. He couldn’t keep doing this. If Graves was going to betray them, he wanted to know now.
So he pulled himself out of bed, pulling on his sweatpants and waited.
Graves froze when saw him up, phone still in hand.
“It’s not what you think.”
“What is it then?”
Graves stared at him for a minute. “If half your team died, you’d do anything to protect the rest right?”
Price stared at him. “Phillip.”
“Don’t use that name right now.” Graves sounded hoarse. “John, I need you to promise you’ll hear me out.”
Price continued to stare for a moment before nodding. “Alright...”
“Couple of my shadows made it out. They holed up somewhere and I’ve been sending them money. Keeping them afloat. I promise I just... I can’t let them go back to the streets. A lot of them were like me. The company was all they had.”
Price bites back a scathing comment about that and nodded. “Alright. Where?”
Graves stared at him. “Price. I understand they’re criminals, but so am I. You can’t hurt them. They were barely involved in the events in Los Almas.” The desperation in his voice was something Price had never heard before. Graves had begged for forgiveness. Asked them not to kill him. But this was different. Price had heard it from his own mouth when Shepherd had told him his boys were MIA and to be killed on sight.
“I won’t.”
“And your team?”
“No one is going to hurt them.” Price promised, being sincere. “Where are they?”
“Motel near here. I’ve been trying to sneak away because you guys made that really hard.” Graves sounded petulant.
Price smiled. “Sorry. You could’ve told me.”
“You don’t trust me.” Graves said gently. “Not all the time. You may trust me with your life but you wouldn’t trust me with theirs. I couldn’t... I couldn’t risk. I let too many people down that night.”
Price nodded. “Alright. I’ll tell everyone to stop watching you all the time, okay?
“Thank you.”
“And maybe I could meet them sometime?”
“You could be step-dad Price.”
#cod#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#Phillip graves#John Price#Captain John Price#Price x Graves#Graves x Price
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Updated 5/12/2024
My master list might still be a bit small, but I'm workin' on it. All stories below are for the 18+ crowd. Minors you are not welcomed here.
I like to have completed stories before I start to post up so as not to have any lag in posting time.
All fics are works of my own. They are pure fictional stories meant to be enjoyed but not taken. You have your own ideas - let's share them instead of take them. Yes, as to date, all my fics are Jake stories. The rest of GVF are featured in them (especially Bootleggers and Wildflowers) but he's my muse and that's why you will not find solely featured stories with the rest of the band.
June, 2022 - the first fiction!
Rayne, a small town librarian, finds herself falling for Jake after meeting when he is part of a music education initiative. It's a good old fashioned falling in love story told in three parts. Content warnings will be labeled on each part.
Sweet Rayne Master List
September, 2022
Violet is a woman working her ass off in two jobs. When the band walks into her bar on a Wednesday night, it changes the scope of her whole summer. Violet is bruised and battered, on the mend from a rough spot that life has dealt her. Jake may be the distraction that gets her through.
Jake is featured as a full switch in this fiction. Content warnings appear on each part. 18+ only
Neapolitan Master List
Thank you to @gardensgatedaisy for her lovely Secret Santa pic of my Neapolitan Jake
December, 2022
Our story picks up right at the end of Neapolitan, finding Jake and Violet navigating what it means to be and grow in their relationship. This story focuses on Violet's continued healing from an abusive relationship.
Content warnings are listed on each part. 18+ only
Neapolitan: A Continuance Master List
July, 2023
The Kiszka/Wagner Company is relatively new to the community of Kingsford. Cora is seeking for a way out of certain starvation and ruin for her family when she gains employment under the new ownership of the mercantile and general stores. Rumors of shady business practices of her new employers aside, she is certain that she is on a path that will see her family out of debt and into a better light.
Completed October 2023
Bootleggers & Wildflowers Master List
November, 2023
Amanda Fischer and Jake Kiszka have been in love forever it seems. They find that even the best of plans can go awry when life steps in the way. This is a love story, but it takes a lot to get to their happy ending. It's a story that is challenging and angsty and hard to read at times, but it's theirs. This is an AU set in the 1980's, centered around a music shop and bookstore.
Completed December 2023
Best Laid Plans Master List
Completed, April 2024
What starts as a one night stand, turns into a journey that spans decades.
This is my first reader feminine insert X Jake long fiction. God I hope I don't fuck it up.
Celebratory Drinks and Fleeting Embraces Master List
June/July 2024, Maybe? - Coming soon
A cursed love. A graveyard. An entity. An AU story that spans time.
The Dead Master List
The Single Traveler: Jake X fem reader 18+ Only - mature read You find yourself traveling during the holidays on your way to Hawaii to party with friends and get stuck in Seattle in an ice storm. Perhaps the handsome stranger who wants to share your quiet corner will turn into something fun.
Fireside: Jake X fem reader 18+ Only - sort of a mature read You are trying your hardest to get away on your vacation with Jake to the cabin in the woods. You experience all sorts of hurdles that make you increasingly frustrated. You are a total mess when finally - finally - you reach the cabin to find Jake sitting fireside waiting for you...
Wild Child: Jake X fem reader 18+ Only - You and Jake are heading home from a weekend away and sharing your favorite moments of that weekend when things turn heated.
Bound: Jake X Chris Turpin slash fic. A tangent story off of the chapter fiction The Dead. 18+ Only - A journal entry of Yakov Petrov (Jake) detailing life in 1850's Michigan while he and his love, Christian Hertel (Chris Turpin inspired), record the land in art.
Updated May 2024 - Hope for more stories to follow! swirly dividers by @ firefly-graphics
#greta van fleet#gvf#jake gvf#jake kiszka#josh kiszka#josh gvf#sammy gvf#sam gvf#daniel gvf#danny gvf#greta van fleet fanfic#greta van fleet fan fiction#greta van fleet fanfic au#greta van fleet au fic#greta van fleet x ocs
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BNHA S2 EP24 - Katsuki Bakugou: Origin
Or final exam battle: Deku/Kacchan vs. All Might.
*takes a deep breath* I have SO many fucking emotions when it comes to this episode. Honestly, I'm trying hard not to cry like the emo bitch I am right now lol Fuck... Okay. 😑 This post is going to be fucking long and all over the place and I apologize in advance.
Let me actually begin with the ending of ep23 where we have both Deku & Kacchan's voicing the preview and that fucker talks over Deku and shit, yelling "PLUS ULTRAAAA" and you hear Deku little "Traaa?" at the end, hkdmqmmsd that's so fucking funny.
Now for the real shit. Man rewatching that fight after being caught up on both s6 and the scans? Yeah, my heart can't take that stuff...😫
All Might is our top bkdk shipper, man. Apart from Aizawa, he's probably the only other adult really seeing what the relationship between Izuku and Katsuki can truly become (gotta love Aizawa for being so observant and forcing them to team up btw). That fight against AM is truly the first big step in mending their broken relationship, eh.
(my mind's a fucking whirlwind and I'm trying hard to be coherent, bear with me)
I'm thinking of something as stupid as this but... look at the distance between them here - and compare it to how it's going to be after s6 and Kats' apology? That dude has grown so fucking much and it shows even in his placement next to Izuku lmao *damn*
We start that ep with Kats' POV and all his anger and frustration towards Deku making progress right? He's set on winning that shit on his own, refusing to cooperate and telling Deku to not follow him (yeah my dude we know you'd die if the nerd didn't follow you anymore). All in all, it's a freaking bad start when facing All Might, we even have that scene where he's yelling at Deku and Deku is yelling back "STOP YELLING! It's because you do that we can never have a normal conversation!" and boy... 😫
Since we all know Katsuki's an overthinker (how he's been bottling shit up after 'ending All Might's career?) and that he is obsessed with the nerd, he's probably been thinking about this too, "If I start yelling we won't be able to talk" so he actually starts the convo softly during Deku vs Kacchan part2, like hello?!
Ahem. Anyways, what's also interesting is that moment where they knock each other out because they aren't working together at all. Katsuki is only thinking of charging to AM to defeat him and win while Izuku is literally too intimidated by his idol and wants to run away. They don't even think about each other and what the other is planning to do, hence the clashing. It's so great to actually see this because it brings out their cooperation (later in the episode but also in the whole series) and how they're really a fucking 'wonder duo' when they do work together. Once the relationship is on the way to being mended and they start seeing each other as rivals (see movie 2 Heroes Rising for instance), we actually see how much they're in synch, they don't even have to fucking talk to one another to understand what the other is thinking or planning next and it's just so fucking amazing man... Like really, that connection they have on the battlefield is ridiculous.🧡💚
(sorry the fucking screen cap is hilarious lmao it's like they're lining up in the air to dance or something omfg I'm sorry rlekrjemzrmzer)
Moving on to when Deku is stuck under a fence cuz AM is an asshole djdmmds he literally just fucking broke Kats' ribs or something, the dude is puking, like what the hell...
Anyways we got Deku's flashbacks of their childhood and him fawning over Kacchan. "I always admired you for that [winning]" - and I don't know, but have you guys noticed how Izuku's memories are always about Kacchan and his admiration for him, like he'd be following him around spying on him, just watching him with stars in his eyes the whole fucking time - THIS is what's in Izuku's mind everytime he thinks of their childhood and at the opposite end what do we have? Katsuki hung on the damn river scene OVER AND OVER AGAIN. The contrasts is crazy and it holds so much meaning aaaah 😖🧡💚 I love Hori so much for this, man.
We move to Izuku punching Kacchan in the face to save his ass and run away in an alley, literally hopping like a bunny (pyon pyon) and they have a sorta normal convo (yeah Kats is still yelling and exploding a wall but eh I call that progress). Then they face AM again and tadaaaaa we have another scene of Katsuki's crying face and WHY? Because he's fucking frustrated! When I tell you guys that dude only cries like this when he's frustrated and only in front of Deku and AM (for the record, that's up till he's accepting all of his feelings for Izu and Izu's love for him in the latest scans... *cries thinking of it*)
I think that's also when he's slowly but surely starting to accept that yeah he's eventually going to have to cooperate with Deku, not just for this fight but in the future too. Right now it's still too raw, his inferiority complex is still too present and yeah... but we'll get there, won't we? 🧡
Anyways, Katsuki Bakugou's Physical strength appreciation moment because... Fuck, even Izuku is astonished by the weight and strength of that dude's gauntlet and Kacchan is moving around and blasting that shit like it's a piece of cake, like what?!?! 😲🔥 Hot.
(our baby is so cute and hot with his bf's gauntlet I swear 💚)
Also this episode is literally the introduction of "Win to Save" vs "Save to Win" in a way, because it focuses on Katsuki's 'Origin'. Like I said, that episode is so fucking important for Deku vs Kacchan pt2 *sigh*
Win to save 🧡
Save to win 💚
There are still so many things I wanna say about this ep but damn it's already way too long as is it lmao Let me just end with how AM really doesn't give a shit about injuring his students hdmqmdlq the way he fucking pushed himself to Deku and broke his fucking back? Like damn man, any normal dude could have died of just that lol
All Might ending this post with this 👇🏼💚🧡
Now let me go cry my heart out cuz this episode fucked me up
Bonus: I forgot to add my fav scene hdlkdezmdeoe "I'm gonna send you flying!"
#bkdk#bakugou katsuki#bakudeku#mha#decchan#dkbk#deku x kacchan#bnha#deku#midoriya izuku#mha s2 ep24#mha s2#mha spoilers#mha spoiler s6#mha spoiler scans#all might#izuku x katsuki#izuku x bakugo#deku x bakugo#dkbkdk#my review#zai's review#zai's rambling#that episode fucked me up so bad man#I'm still crying like a bitch#Kats please stop straining your arms like that#fuck#Izu's back broke in here damn
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ok I just really need to rant and I really don't have anyone to talk to rn and i'm just feeling really bleeeeeeh you know?
I have a group of new york friends (I live in cali) who I spend a lot of time with, we play games together, watch movies and all that stuff. we're even planning a group trip soon and I really want to meet them. We've known each other for years and we've done lots of secret santas and everything. There's one person (who i'll call S). We were close, we had a lot in common and we got along great. We shared struggles together and could talk easily with each other. He had revealed he had a crush on me. (this is in 2020 during covid) I'm a very touch heavy person and one of my love languages. Him living in new york would be really hard. but he's a nice guy and I have a lot of fun with him so I agreed to a 'date' so we had a valentines date over video call and discord. and while I like him, I just don't think I felt the same and again, I really did NOT want to do a long distance relationship. so I turned him down and things were okay for awhile. Then a couple weeks past and I had mentioned that I went on a date with someone (i did NOT enjoy the date btw) but it set him off and he needed some space. which I totally get and understand!!
so back to now I don't really remember what mended our friendship but we were close again and have been for a few years now. I consider him my best friend. out of everyone in our group I felt like I could be real with him with my depression and anxiety. not that I can't with the group but I just felt he always understood me the best, considering he deals with it too. For the last two years we've gotten closer, we'd send stuff to each other, we did buddy reads, like typical?? best friend things. But recently I have felt a little? smothered by him, constantly asking me if my anxiety was acting up or whatever and it's like i'm glad you care but like if I needed help I would go to you, you don't have to ask me everyday you know? and then I was getting worried that he was relying on ME to much. which of course, i'm glad to help but it felt so overwhelming sometimes because I can't help all that much besides give advice, and try to comfort him. and the point is that I wanted him to be able to reach out to other people but it felt like he was dumping it all on me and I was starting to not be able to help bc it felt like I was just repeating myself over and over again you know?
anyway I needed to ask him if he was having feelings for me again because I could start to tell. he had told me no and then I asked if he was lying and then he told me no. but then he didn't talk to me for a few days and in my head i'm like. ok so you lied to me. but a few days later he was back to normal and i'm like...so we're just?? gonna ignore that? okkkkkkk.
and then in chat I mentioned that I had given my number to a cute guy at the boba shop. (I wrote my name and number on a napkin, gave it to him and then ran away bc i'm a big baby). this had set him off because that is that last time I heard from him. the guy never even texted me back (which of course made me feel bad since i'm really insecure about my appearance right now). the thing that I hate the most is that he ghosted me. Our other mutual friend had to tell me that he's taking a break from our discord server. and it sucks. and then it brings me back to all the times we shared and it's like??? did you only do those things because you like me??? like I know you genuinely care about me but it's only because you like me. Like you can't??? respect the fact that I just don't like him like that and i'm trying to put myself out there? something I haven't done in THREE YEARS. I've been single since 2019 and for the first year or so I was happy bc I really needed to take a step back and focus on myself. and now i'm soooooo fucking lonely but it's hard to meet people. I don't have a license, I don't leave the house that often bc my friends all moved away my father is always out either with friends or at work (my parents are divorced and I see my mom rarely). and it's like the one time I put myself out there I get punished for it. and like I know he's going through a hard time I get that, he's been pretty bad lately but. does he even know how much he's hurt me by doing this too? like I get he needs space and like I get time heals all wounds blah blah but it's been a month and I have not heard from him since. He'll still join the discord but as long as i'm not there. and I avoid it too if he's already there. and it's just?? this week has been up and down and i've been feeling icky and god I just??? wish I could talk to him because he'd know what to say? How to cheer me up?
and like I'd talk to my best best friend but she's dealing with so much right now that I hate putting more on her plate. She tells me I should hang out with our other friend Z but me and Z had not really a falling out but we didn't talk to each other for a long period of time after a friend situation but her and my best best friend still get together. but it's just??? awkward for me. I would like to be Z's friend again but it really feels like I don't know how to socialize anymore. I know I really need to expand my bubble but idk man.
and even if S gets over it and goes back to normal I don't know if we can??? have the same closeness as before because I can't keep doing this. like it's so unfair to me for you to come into my life ghost me. come back and ghost me again after we got REALLY close. like?? I don't wanna give you all of my heart if you're gonna give it back just because I don't feel romantically towards you?? I wouldn't mind being friends again of course but I'd keep him within a ten foot pole. I can't be emotional or real with him anymore. Just strictly whenever everyone else is in the discord playing games or watching movies.
honestly I've essentially lost a best friend.
this got...really long but I really don't have an outlet right now and yeah. sometimes I
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been a long time since I've felt like I HAD to write something, but I rly connected with Nessa's playthrough and I'm still kinda reeling even tho I knew what was coming. so, there's this, taking place immediately after the end of the main game. hopefully the formatting isn't fucked bc I'm on my phone and not using the app, but we'll see
They had won. It seemed an impossibility, yet here they were, celebration reaching all corners of Skyhold. She was happy, thrilled even, that Corypheus was gone, that the sky was mended, that she and her friends were no longer at risk.
The impromptu party Josephine had thrown was great fun.
Still, she felt hollow. He should be here.
When she slept that night, she expected to find him in the Fade. He had promised that all would be made clear. Instead, she fought Corypheus again. Instead, he left her again. Instead, she saw herself without her Vallaslin. Despite everything, she was relieved when she woke and saw the familiar markings on her face.
She knew she needed to remain strong, to not let her people see how torn she was, but it was hard. She kept remembering holding his hand, the simple joy she'd felt, the sense that he was finally acknowledging their relationship in truth. Instead, it had been the start of the end. A thin comfort before the storm.
Things had faded since that conversation, as though she was observing her life at a remove. She tried to hide it. She thought she had managed.
"Inquisitor, a word?" She was on the battlements, looking at the mountains, distracted enough that she hadn't heard Leliana approach.
"Of course. What is it?"
"I do not mean to be untoward, but…" She was confused as Leliana approached her, stunned as the other woman's arms wrapped around her. "Those who care about you can see your suffering. I am so sorry, my lady."
Nessa hesitated, momentarily uncertain, before returning the embrace. No one touched her casually - first, she had been seen as a criminal; next, touched by Andraste. Finally, she had become the Inquisitor. People don't just hug the leader of the Inquisition.
She hadn't realized how much she'd missed it until she realized she was crying, uncertain how much was despair and how much was relief. Leliana still did not pull away.
"I loved him. I- I don't know why he left." The words were pressed against Leliana's shoulder, thin and private, still catching in her throat. The tears were hot on her face.
"Nor I. I wish I could have found him for you."
"He does not wish it." These words were even smaller, as though to say it risked making it real. But she knew it was real. It was all real - the love and the pain. The hollow he'd left behind. Finally she pulled away, wiping her face, certain she looked a mess. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to…" She gestured weakly at her face, her tears. Leliana's smile was soft, warm. So genuine it took Nessa by surprise.
"Think nothing of it, my lady. My friend. You may lead the armies of the faithful, you may have sealed the Breach, but you are still a person. Those who care about you have not forgotten this."
Gratitude swelled in her as she turned back to the mountains, letting the cold breeze hit her tears and chill her. A sensation stronger than her grief, at least for the moment. "We walked together, the night before we faced Corypheus. I haven't told anyone…" Leliana came to stand by her side, also looking out at the mountains. Trying to make this moment easier for Nessa, she knew. "He told me about the Vallaslin, our markings. Corypheus spoke of it, too." She took a deep breath - this pained her as much as his flight. "They are the marks of a slave." Leliana, so often calm and in control, gasped and turned to stare at her. Nessa continued to look out. She needed to say it. "Long ago, owners used the Vallaslin to mark their slaves. They do represent our Gods, but… they are not as the Dalish thought."
"That's… that's horrible, I had no idea. Solas told you this?" Nessa nodded, new tears hot in her eyes but cold as they slipped down her cheeks.
"He offered to remove mine. But, I couldn't… no matter what they were, what they meant, they have meaning to my People now. It was an honor to receive my Vallaslin. He accepted my answer, he seemed to respect it, but…" Leliana put a gentle hand on her shoulder, a small touch that grounded her, helped her finish the thought that she hadn't dared articulate even to herself. "... what if it is why he left? What if he couldn't stand knowing I kept myself marked as a slave? What if he couldn't understand that it meant something to me as a Dalish, regardless of what it had meant in Arlathan?"
"My lady… I cannot speak for him, he always has been a mystery, but one thing I will say: he has never seemed to say something he does not mean. I do not think his acceptance of your decision a lie, although I can no more explain his flight than can you." It was a comfort to hear, because the words rang true. He was not one to lie - to avoid answering questions, certainly, but not to make his answers explicit lies. It helped, a little, to be reminded of this.
"I know he wanted the orb preserved. I saw that he mourned its destruction. But he left me before the fight, before it had been broken… I know it hurt him, that much was obvious." She shook her head, armor jangling slightly. She used to wear leathers. After their conversation she had switched to scalemail. She was still getting used to the sound, the weight of it, but the difference helped keep her in the moment. "He said all would be clear after the battle. Perhaps, at the time, he meant it. But nothing is clear." She finally turned to look at Leliana. The other woman had changed so much… when they'd first met, Nessa had been more than a little afraid of her. More afraid of her than of Cassandra, even. The longer they'd worked together the more she'd grown to trust her, although Leliana's willingness to go so far still scared her somewhat. But now the other woman had… softened. She'd found herself again. She still did what was needed, but no longer sought violence as a means in and of itself. "Except that I belong here, with all of you. Thank you for coming here, for listening. It means… more than I can say." Leliana's smile was so warm.
"You did the same for me, my friend." So simple, but the second time she'd called Nessa friend. A warm sentiment, a balm on the raw edges of her pain and grief. Leliana left her to her solitude, but she felt lighter. Her grief would keep, she knew, but she still had her Clan, still had her Vallaslin, and she still had her… family, here. She would live despite her grief. She would live. And in time, she would thrive.
For now, she left the mountains to their solitude and went back to the main hall. She no longer wanted to be alone.
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i'm doing a rewatch of one tree hill and am watching season 6 and man i've warmed up to peyton and i always did like her more in season 6 (really only got around to loving the character in season 3 and 4 tbh, i had a hard time in season 1&2 because of some the questionable stuff she did) but that being said her behaviour towards julian is infuriating from start to finish. the fact that she dumps the guy and then is outraged that he wasn't sufficiently heartbroken is wild to me
cont. and it's clear it's a hundred per cent ego driven too. she doesn't love julian, right so she dumps him because as brooke said he's rebound guy for peyton and once peyton realizes she still wants luke julian gets unceremoniously dumped so i really don't get peyton's whole spiel about warning brooke of julian's real nature because he allegedly hooked up with another girl after they broke up like sweetie, honey, toots YOU broke up with the man
and her whole suspicious attitude towards him, always assuming the worst i'm like once again the only reason she has to dislike julian is she's butthurt 'cause she believes he moved on from her too fast and like for fuck's sake lady you broke his heart if he wanted to fuck his way through the entire state of california to mend his little heart good for him. i really hate that the writers even tried to pull the wool over our eyes like maybe julian is a jerk like nope he wasn't, not for one second
this one tree hill meta is delicious on this thursday morning, thank you SO Much for sending this.
first of all, i might get some hate for this but s5 peyton aside from the longing after l*cas thing is perhaps my favorite peyton because it was really nice to see her having the ability to do the things she’s so good at, developing talent and running a label and music stuff. season six peyton...mmph. i like seeing her happy but at what cost. (the episode with pucas yelling at her for wanting to carry the kid will always stand out to me as one of his most toxic fucking moments but whatever we’re not here for that)
NO I ALWAYS THOUGHT HER RANDOM “OH LET ME GO TELL BROOKE THAT JULIAN DOESN’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT HER THING” was one of those ‘oh i’m telling you because i care about you but i’m telling you just because i want to’ sort of things? and julian was literally SO valid for breaking up with peyton it’s a miracle he put up with all the copies of that fucking book during their relationship. whats it to peyton if he was heartbroken and put up a front??? if someone hurt ME i wouldn’t be trying to advertise exactly how much it happened??
DEADASS AND EXACTLY. IF HE WANTED TO WHORE HIS SWEET LITTLE PRODUCER GRINNING ASS AROUND TO HEAL, OR JUST CUZ HE WANTED TO, GOOD FOR HIM. MORE POWER TO YOU, MY BOY. HE WAS LITERALLY SINGLE.
i blame (you guessed it) puke ass for all the narrative ‘hints’ that julian might ever cheat on brooke or move on or anything because literally the man could not have been more faithful or devoted. if SOME bitch hadn’t made cheating what he lettered in in high school, maybe brooke wouldn’t have to feel so vulnerable about it. but that is SO far from her fault.
#ask#answer#one tree hill#anon#anti lucas scott#i speak#lolo meta#i truly do NOT hate peyton i wanna be clear#but i do roll my eyes over her a lot#she's been through a lot of trauma but there's a limit to what you can use to excuse your actions#and i think in a lot of ways the way she grew up - her mom dying so young and her dad coddling her from afar along with#being an only child#really contributed to peyton's selfishness#like she's not selfish because she thinks it's how she needs to be/is (i.g. brooke s1)#she's selfish because that's just who she is#her problems her wants her etc always comes first#friends be damned#and she was sneakily petty--er than she'd ever admit#and prideful as hell#and that reflected in her actions whether she wanted it to or not#and seeing brooke be so happy in a relationship that She had left despite being in the relationship#she spent a dumb amount of time messing around in#like girl....shut the entire fuck up
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Ship Song Tag Game!
Tagged by @pinespittinink! Thanks for the tag!!
Rules: List the songs you associate most with your ships. (These are probably gonna be 90% Taylor Swift sorry guys. She has a song for every relationship dynamic under the sun.)
Novellia and Livia: You Are In Love by Taylor Swift
You two are dancing in a snowglobe round and round
And he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown
And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars
And why I spent my whole life trying to put it into words
Niccolo and Enrico: Forever Winter by Taylor Swift
He says he doesn't believe anything much he hears these days
He says, "Why fall in love, just so you can watch it go away?"
He spends most of his nights wishing it was how it used to be
He spends most of his flights getting pulled down by gravity
(The whole song is SO THEM! Like listening to it will give you a deep understanding of their relationship)
Giacomo and Martino: Daylight by Taylor Swift
I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night
And now I see daylight, I only see daylight
Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky
And so I became the butt of the joke
I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked
Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke
Orianna and Isabella: Don’t Blame Me by Taylor Swift
For you, I would cross the line
I would waste my time
I would lose my mind
They say, "She's gone too far this time"
Don't blame me, love made me crazy
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right
Saturnino and Ottavio: Cowboy Like Me by Taylor Swift
Never thought I'd meet you here
It could be love
We could be the way forward
And I know I'll pay for it
And the skeletons in both our closets
Plotted hard to fuck this up
Calpurnia and Polyxena: King of My Heart by Taylor Swift
Is the end of all the endings?
My broken bones are mending
With all these nights we're spending
Up on the roof with a school girl crush
Drinking beer out of plastic cups
Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff
Baby, all at once, this is enough
Giuseppe and Arnoldo: Just a Dream by Carrie Underwood
Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance,
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
Attilio and Leonora: Like My Father by Jax
I need a man who's patient and kind
Gets out of the car and holds the door
I wanna slow dance in the living room like
We're 18 at senior prom and grow
Old with someone who makes me feel youngI need a man who loves me like
My father loves my mom
Bonus: Not a ship (like REALLY REALLY NOT A SHIP) but I’ve been thinking about it:
Giacomo and Basilio: I Say No from Heathers
Don't say a word
You speak and I cave in
You'll twist the truth again
And drill deep down beneath my skin
You said you'd change
And I believed in you
But you're still using me
To justify the harm you doThis is it
Hit the brake
Call it all my mistake
Long as you let me go
You need help
I can't provide
I'm not Bonnie, you're not Clyde
No pressure tagging: @cherrybombfangirlwrites @evethenovicewriter @theprissythumbelina @tc-doherty @memento-morri-writes and anyone else who wants to do this!
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I lost my best friend in 2019, and I haven't been the same since. The reason it happened was all my own fault, I had become psychologically abusive and manipulative, it hit a point she had enough. It was necessary, I had to stop. For the first time in, maybe, my entire life, had I felt I had fallen so low I needed to reconsider who I was and what the fuck was I doing and why.
Turned out I had huge ego problems and temperament issues that I never knew how to handle and that was the main source. I tried apologizing to my friend, and for a while, she accepted it, and I was determined to change for the better and not fall into my previous pitfalls.
But perhaps I didn't deserve that second chance: she decided that no, the damage was already done, things just couldn't go back. It was time to end things for good.
You can't repair a broken glass.
A couple of years later I found out she had written about me: apparently she wiped out any positive memory she had and just wished me the worse.
Again, I cannot blame her.
I've struggled with friendships and relationships since: I had a different friend who also decided she had enough, after one of my outbursts of anger. I was not given another chance this time... to be fair, she was extremely dismissive of others' emotions, never even gave me a chance to talk things out. I was really trying this time, but I let the emotions carry me again.
So any time I make new relationships I'm always trying to restrain a lot, emotionally, maybe that's for good, but also makes me feel somewhat detached.
Or maybe I've matured, I don't know, it's been long since I've had an outburst or hurt someone, I guess that's good.
But part of me always fears losing someone again, and that if I let my emotions show themselves too much it will only ruin things. Even if they're not the negative, harmful kind.
I sometimes still see myself as the monster that hurt his own friend out of jealousy when she did not deserve at all on top of all of the shit she had to deal with.
I remember it began with a sense of protection, which became possesiveness... what a fool I was.
I've talked to a friend about it and she says the only way for me to move on is to stop shitting myself and forgive.
I don't know if I can forgive it, but I think it's been long enough to just not let go of it.
It's hard to let go of something you're guilty of and the consequence is permanent, it feels undeserved. But I have no other choice if I truly wish to be someone better.
She may wish me hell: but I don't.
I may not see you ever again, and that's for good, I know you don't want to.
I just want you to be happy, wherever you go, whenever you end up in. Find whatever fulls you and enjoy your life as you really deserved. I'm sorry I was not the friend you needed, I am really sorry for all the pain I caused, and I am aware apologies cannot mend that.
I'll never stop working on becoming someone better, I'll never forget the things I did and I'll never pretend I was innocent. I will carry that weight with me. I don't need to see you again. I do cherish our good memories together, and I hope you continue to make good memories with whoever you cross paths with on your life. I don't care if you wish me hell. I will never want that for you.
Four years already, feels like yesterday when I felt the stab. The realization of what I had done, the desperate attempt at fixing things, the anxiety, the crying.. and yet I know I've grown since then and I got a lot more to grow too.
It won't be the last time I remember this, hell I know this to be true. But if this is the last time I write about it directly, maybe it's appropiate to say: Goodbye.
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oh how time has flown - a journal entry
TW: sa, abuse, mental illness
the great thing about tumblr is that it feels like i'm just screaming into the void. which is exactly what i need. no one hears and no one knows. i don't think there's anyone i know irl that still follows this account so that's relieving. if there is, I can't tell because when I open my 'followers,' it's blank entirely. if you're here, i'm sorry lol
–
it's currently 1:11am on a fine october monday morning. i'm sitting on my bed, feverishly typing my feelings away.
lately more than ever, i've been having these flashbacks, some pleasant but most horrifying. and even the pleasant ones tend to bring me down now anyways.
the pleasant ones being over-romanticizations of fond memories like eating at panera with my best friend in high school, spontaneous midnight dutch runs with my ex, and having the best times with my coworkers as a manager at a clothing store.
they're beautiful pieces of my own ancient history.
a total andy bernard moment, right? if only there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.
the horrifying ones being memories i've tried so hard to forget. the year long sexual abuse as a minor. the emotionally abusive 3-year long relationship with my ex. the even more traumatic breakup that followed. and many other things i doubt i can bring myself to say aloud.
it seems whether pleasant or other, my memories serve to haunt above all else. they weigh on me with insurmountable pressure.
–
i, for the life of me, cannot seem to move forward in one way or another. you know, if you'd asked me 6 years ago where i'd be now, i would have confidently told you i'd graduated two years prior and was finishing up my teaching credential.
how my tragedy-stricken life had plans of its own...
i promise, i am trying to make the best of my life and take action in any way i can, but 98% of the time i feel frozen.
i googled it, it's called executive dysfunction.
great! i have an unofficial name for it. now what?
i feel so stagnate and confined. i want a good life so bad. i don't know where to go... or maybe i do? i think i know where, i just don't know how to get there.
excuse me, sir. when's your next flight to at peace, in love, and finally free?
i'm dying to get there. dying. i want the happy life! finally! let me have it! please?!
i feel pain in my chest at the thought of getting there.
i want the happy life! finally! let me have it!
–
truthfully, i just want peace. i'm tired of being too anxious to enjoy anything in life.
can't watch netflix because i have to be working. if i'm not working, i'm not worthy of existing.
i am operating from a place of extreme financial guilt, i am aware.
can't play my switch because it's actually my ex-boyfriend's and even looking at it makes me want to cry.
i miss you, link, but our DLC challenges will have to wait another year. my heart must heal.
i miss you too, terrisview (animal crossing village; note that i did not name the island, my ex did). i will come back for you. i will pick your weeds, unearth your fossils, and eat your apples once more. my heart must heal.
can't leave the house because what if someone needs me? what if i'm not here to ease the explosive tension should an outburst erupt?
you remember the last time you left, right? you know it's your responsibility to ensure this household's happiness, right? because even if you absolutely cannot prevent an incident, it's still on you to console, mend, and repair.
i am so tired.
–
this vent is yet another form of executively dysfunctional procrastination. i'm supposed to be writing out IG content for a client... and here i am, enjoying a long overdue cry instead.
i can't wait to get where i am going. i am sick. i am tired. i am doing everything i can and it's still not good enough. fuck, dude.
...
well, it was nice catching up! signing off for now. chat soon!
xoxo, sam
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Yandere Rei Hurting Reader Pt2
Yes yes. Its out now. I won't delete this one. Enjoy!
Part 1 is here. Part 3 here.
Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Yandere Todoroki Clan:
It had been so awful at first. So hard for everyone to adjust to the new change. Of course, it was especially difficult for you to adapt to the new circumstances.
When you had first woken up after the unfortunate incident, approximately 3 days later, you didn't expect to be home so soon. You expected- you hoped that you would wake up in the hospital and have them call the authorities. Then again, you also didn't expect never being able to use your eyes again.
Shotou was the first one to notice when you had woken up from your coma. He hadn't left your side since the accident. He jumped from his seat beside you and held the glass of water to your lips when you tried to speak. The family came rushing in when he called for them, announcing that you had woken up. You could hear Fuyumi and her crying tears of joy as Natsuo came to check your vitals. You knew your eyes were bandaged, which was expected because of the hot oil that was poured on them, but when you asked Natsuo when they were coming off, he went silent. Your heart sank when he told you what had happened, how your eyes were fucking fried to the point that the arteries supplying them were also destroyed, which meant they couldn't be replaced, ever.
You screamed a lot that day; you would've cried but you didn't have any tear ducts. You didn't let anyone touch you at first, especially Rei. You would scream, throw yourself away from her if you felt her come near you. Eventually, Natsuo put some sort of tranquilliser into your IV, finally calming you down.
Being blind was hard, you knew that. But you didn't know that it would also be this humiliating. After the accident, they had starting infantalizing you even more, doing the most miniscule things for you.
Shotou would be the first person who greeted you in the morning and usually the last person to put you to bed at night. He would carry you around everywhere you go, telling you its simply unsafe for you to walk on your own. Sure you bumped into the furniture a few times and it was a bit hard maintaining your balance, but that didn't mean you needed him to carry you around everywhere. You had asked him to get you a cane, but he only said "why do you need a stick when you have me? Just tell me where you want to go".
Each morning, Shotou would take you down the stairs to the toilet and more often than not, have Fuyumi come and help you, even for brushing your teeth. Then he would take you to the dining table where everyone is waiting for you. Fuyumi would give your breakfast to Shotou, who would cut it up and feed you. Once you're done eating, you would wait for Shotou to finish his food. During breakfast, everyone would make small talk while you remained quiet. After everyone's finished eating, Fuyumi and Rei would take dishes to sink. You would've helped, but everyone's pretty much forbidden you from entering the kitchen.
Shotou would then carry you either to his room or the living room, where he would turn on the TV and tell you what's happening. But since this always makes you remember how you don't have eyes, he would usually just read you some book. Somehow, they're always about princesses and fairytales. You were getting sick of hearing them.
Fuyumi would later come and fetch you, and take you to your bath. While you would be cleaning yourself, after politely declining help from Fuyumi each time, she would be out preparing your clothes for the day. She would explain to you what you're wearing and how you look, and how she's going to style your hair. As if any of these things mattered to you. But even if they did, its not like you'd have a say in anything.
You still remember the first time you were taking a bath, after finally convincing Fuyumi to let you have the "luxury" to clean yourself up. You finally had some time for yourself, alone and away from the rest of the house. You sank in the warm water in the tub, allowing yourself to relax. The privacy was comforting, but not long lasting, as you felt cold hands touch your shoulders. In an instant, you jumped away screaming. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" Rei tried coming closer to you but you kept on screeching at the top of your lungs, alerting the whole house. "FUYUMI! SHOTOU! GET HER AWAY! SHOTOU GET HER AWAY!" At that point you didn't even care if they saw you nude, they just need to save you from her. The siblings rushed to the bathroom and upon seeing your huddled form in the corner and their mother sobbing, Fuyumi hastily covered you with a towel while Shotou took Rei out of there.
Shotou tried to make you understand that Rei was just trying to help you. That she just missed you and wanted to take care of you. He was basically telling you not to be afraid of her, and that your trauma is not valid. You stopped talking to him after that, only spoke when absolutely necessary.
Natsuo would pick you up after your bath while Fuyumi went to make lunch. He would check your eyes (or lack there of), put on some ointments and replace the bandages with fresh ones. Fuyumi would come with your lunch and after she'd fed you, Natsuo would give you your medicine. They always make you sleepy, so you'd be put down for a nap.
Dabi wasn't always around, but when he was, he was still the asshole he was before. He would move your things to different places, or place stuff in your way so that'd you'd trip (he always caught you before you face planted), all so that you would ask him for help he could get a rise out of you. But you would just sigh and move on.
Enji liked to take you to the garden and read you books and newspapers. It was alright you guess, but you wanted to do something yourself, especially since they still didn't take you out of the house. You had asked him for a Braille, but he only replied "You don't need to stress yourself with that. I'll always be there to read you whatever you want."
If Enji's running late, then Shotou would take you to the swings in the garden, pushing you as he tells what happened at school or with friends. After dinner, you’d be forced to spend some more time with your siblings, before you’d be tucked into bed.
That has been the routine for the past 6 months since your accident. And the family really felt like everything was returning to normal. It was, for them. This is how they always wanted things to happen: you, locked up in the house while they stripped you of all autonomy and infantalized you to the point where it was harming you, both physically and mentally. Your body was growing weak, your muscles got easily fatigued from their lack of use. And the pills Natsuo gave you didn't really help the case. They made you sleepy, and you think they even caused hallucinations since you felt like someone was in your room or someone was playing with your hair.
Even though you were stuck at home all day, you still never talked to Rei. Well she tried, but you would be the one to always flinch away. She wouldn't address herself when she entered your room, but you would still feel her lurking around the corners. And why should you acknowledge her? Especially after what she's done?
Enji wasnt ignorant of your condition. He could see how quiet you had gotten, and how scared you were of Rei. He was getting worried for you. What were you thinking about? Enji knew if he didn't talk to you, things will get worse.
You were sitting by the lounge window with Fuyumi who was telling you about her day. Fuyumi greeted him when he came in the room. "Hey, dad!" Enji nodded. "Fuyumi, would you leave us? I'd like to talk to Y/n." Fuyumi nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before she left the room, only Enji noticing how you stiffened at her affection. He sat beside you and cleared his throat. "How are you?" "Fine. You?"you softly asked. "I'm good, too. I wanted to talk to you about something. About...your mom." "My mom's dead." Enji cleared his throat. "I meant Rei." "Oh. What about her?" "Why haven't you been talking to her?" You remained silent. “What happened was an accident-” “It wasnt an accident. An accident is spilling milk. Not pouring hot oil in someone’s eyes.” Enji knew this was coming.“She didn’t do it on purpose-” You cut him off again. “She did! She knew exactly what she was doing.” “Why would she do that?” “I don’t know. She hates me or something.” Enji grabbed your hand gently. “You know that's not true. Rei loves you very much and she cares about you a lot.” You didn't say anything. “Do you remember the day you came to our house?” You nodded. “Yeah. It was a few days after my parents funeral.” “Yes. And do you remember what Rei said to you?” You stiffened before nodding again. “She said that she may not be my real mother, but she’ll love me more than anyone ever has and ever will. Always.” “Yes. And has she not? Has she not loved you more than anyone?” You nodded slowly as Enji continued. “Between you and me, she’s always favoured you among all of your siblings.” You smiled at that. “So, are you willing to give your mother a chance?” You paused for a few minutes. “I- I cant.” Enji sighed. “Look. I know you’re scared. I understand. I know you want to blame Rei for what happened, but believe me when I tell you it wasn't her fault. It was an accident.” You shook your head. “And what if another “accident” like that happens again? And what if I dont survive this time? And what if-” Your voice broke down. Enji pulled you into his lap. “It won't. I promise. And if something like that does occur, I’ll be there to stop it.” Enji pressed a kiss to your hair. “I’ll save you. I promise.”
With Enji's persuasion, you had started mending your relationship with Rei again. Sure, you still flinched when she touched you and you were still hesitant to initiate conversations with her, but none of that bothered Rei. You were trusting her again, and she was more than happy to do more on her part to make you comfortable.
And you won't lie, but life was better with Rei. She knew when Dabi or Shotou were becoming too overbearing, or when Natsuo was fussing over you for no reason. She was there to stop Fuyumi from chatting your ear away, and knew when to stop Enji from feeding you too many sweets.
And Enji could see that Rei was sorry for what she did. He saw how she would often massage ointments on your face, her fingers barely tracing the charred area around your eyes before pulling away quickly. And other times, like today, as he stood by your bedroom door, he saw how gentle she was with you as she tucked you into your bed. He kissed his wife once she had left your room. "How are my girls doing?" Enji asked Rei in a hushed voice, not wanting to wake you up. Rei smiled. "Good." They slowly started walking back to their room. "Shes an angel, Enji. So sweet." Enji hummed in agreement. "Can I tell you something?" Enji stopped and turned to face his wife. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm kind of glad what happened...to her." Rei was smiling. "She's so much better like this. So docile now. I...I don't regret what I did, you know?" Enji's blood ran cold. "Rei... dont tell me- you didn't do that on purpose, did you?" Rei nodded, a bit too eagerly. "I know, I know. It wasn't ethical. And if I could, I would've taken away her pain in a heartbeat. But you must agree that its much better now, right?" Enji couldn't believe what Rei was confessing. "I mean, look at her now. She doesn't even try running away. She knows- she feels safer with us, inside." Rei sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I thought that maybe it wouldn't come to this. I thought that after Touya took care of her parents, she'd be a bit more scared to be outside on her own. That's why we told her they died in a car crash." Rei rested her cheek on his chest. "It scares me what I'm willing to do for her, Enji." Enji knew Dabi had something to do with what happened to your parents, but knowing Rei had a hand in it too, or more precisely, she was the one who told Touya to get rid of them. Enji didn't know what to do with this new side of his wife. But he did know he had to keep her hidden from you, so he ushered his wife to their bedroom, not knowing you had already heard them.
You had realised a couple of things that night. One, Rei and Dabi had murdered your parents. Two, Rei pouring the hot oil in your eyes wasn't some sort of psychotic episode. Three, Enji and the others were going to take Rei's side, no matter what.
A few weeks later, your birthday came around. The siblings had left the house to get some things for your birthday party, leaving you in the care of their parents. Rei was in the kitchen cooking up a whole feast for you, while you sat beside Enji in the lounge as he read the newspaper. Enji had already given you your present. It was giant teddy bear with chocolates from Belgium. They were utterly delicious. When you stood up, he asked you where you were going. You pointed at the box of chocolates in your hand. "I'm going to share them with, mom. Unless, thats not okay?"you asked meekly. Enji still wasn't all that comfortable with letting you and Rei be alone, especially after her confession. But... if he doesn't let you go to her alone, you'll always be afraid of her. And its not like Rei will hurt you again, right? Besides, the kitchen is just down the hallway. He's sure nothing will happen. He nodded. "Okay. Should I walk you there?" "No. Its down the hall. I think I'll be fine on my own." Enji then allowed you to go, telling you to call for him if you need anything.
Rei was chopping up some vegetables when she heard your footsteps. She turned around to find you standing just outside the kitchen. "Hey, angel! What are you doing here?" You remained outside the kitchen as you spoke. "I wanted to share these chocolates dad got for me. W-would you like some?" Oh, you're so kind. Rei quickly wiped her hands on a kitchen towel before walking towards you and leading you to the dining room in front of the kitchen. She helped you sit down before taking a seat next to you. "You want me to have your chocolates? But didn't daddy gift them to you?" You bit your lip as you replied. "Well yes, but I- I wanted to share them with you so that I could- I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And for loving me. I would've gotten you something else but I'm not allowed to go outside..."you mumbled the last sentence, but that didn't matter as Rei quickly hugged you. "Oh honey! You're so sweet!" Rei took a piece of chocolate from the box that you had extended towards her. "And these chocolates are so delicious! Daddy really loves to spoil you, doesnt he?" Rei pinched your cheek gently. You smiled. "I'm glad you liked them. Especially, after all you've done for me. You deserve them more than I do, honestly." Rei stopped at that. "Honey...what are you talking about?" You smiled. "What? Am I not saying the truth? You deserve these chocolates, and all the sweets and flowers and medals for being the best mother." You popped a chocolate into your mouth before continuing. "After all, the criteria is very high. You need to not only have the intent to kill for your child, but you also have to commit murder. Then kidnap your child and force her to bide to your rules. And if she misbehaves, you must punish her as well, right? Because good behaviour gets chocolate," You popped another chocolate into your mouth. "And bad behaviour gets your eyes fried."
Rei just stared at you in disbelief. H-how did you- you didn't hear them talking last night did you? Or did Dabi tell you? Rei stared at you as you ate another piece of chocolate. "I wonder after you've killed me, will you be given chocolates or flowers?" "D-darling, w-what are you saying? I would never hurt you!" You chuckled darkly. "No no. You've done it before and I know you'll do it again. After all, it scares you what you're willing to do for me." You caressed her cheeks, and when you felt her tears, you wiped them. "I'm not saying you have the intention to kill me. No, you'll just hurt me again, another little accident, but this time I won't survive. I just hope you'll bury me somewhere where there's a lot of fresh air, maybe on a hill with a view?" Rei finally broke down at that, falling to her knees as she clung to your legs. "Please! Y/n please forgive me! Please baby, I- I just wanted the best for you. I don't want you to die, I- I promise I'll never hurt you again! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Please baby, I'll do anything. Just forgive me!" You sighed. "Anything? I don't think you mean that." Rei nodded her vigorously, tears falling everywhere. "I do! I do! Just tell me what to do!" You tapped your chin, pretending to think. "Bring a knife. A sharp one." Rei's eyes widened. "W-What?" "Well...its only right for you to be punished as well. To atone for your sins, right?" "O-okay." Rei went to the kitchen and brought a big knife with her. "Lock the door." She did as you told her. You extended your palm, waiting for her to place the knife. She did. You stood up, right in front of Rei. You told her to stand against a wall, and she followed. You played with the sharp end if the knife. "I want to hurt you. I want to hurt you so bad. I want you to feel the pain, the hell you've put me through." This is it, Rei thought, you're going to kill her. For some reason, she was okay with that. "I want you to know you failed. I want you to know you're a bad mother. A selfish, bad mother." Rei was full on sobbing now. "Look at me. I want you to remember this." And with that you raised the knife before stabbing yourself in the gut, two screams ripping through the manor. Rei shot towards you, her hands trying to pull the knife away. "What did you do?! What did you do?!" Rei was crying. Enji was banging on the locked door for a few seconds before he burned it down and the sight he was met with...was nothing short of a nightmare.
There you layed on the floor, blood sputtering from your mouth, your shirt stained with blood and Rei. Rei, who was hunched over your body, with a bloody knife in her hand, crying out "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!".
Enji rushed towards you, pushing Rei back roughly. You were coughing up blood, your head turned away from him until you felt him touch your face. "D-daddy..."you whimpered out before your breathing came to a stop.
"No. No." Enji quickly gathered your limp body in his arms, running out of the house towards a hospital. He kept on chanting "no", because he didn't want to believe that he failed to protect you.
That he failed to save his daughter, again.
I had 5 different endings in my mind and Idc if this isn't your preferred ending (the ending I had in my mind was something out of Quentin Tarantino's movie). I'm just glad to be done with it.
Anyways, exams are coming up and I'm not going to be posting a lot.
And ill be taking up your follow up questions/asks for this part! I'll also be answering godfather hawks asks now that this part is out.
#yandere endeavor#platonic enji todoroki#yandere enji todoroki#yandere dabi#yandere shouto#yandere shoto todoroki#yandere todoroki#yandere todoroki family#yandere todoroki clan#yandere rei todoroki#yandere natsuo todoroki#yandere fuyumi todoroki#enji todoroki x reader#yandere touya todoroki#yandere bnha#bnha headcanons#yandere mha#bnha imagines#yandere dabi x reader#touya todoroki
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Of Kings and Beasts - Two
Pairing: King!Bucky X Princess!Reader X King!Steve
Summary: Born a bastard of the King of Orlen, you’re thrusted to the West to marry the Kings. However, the greeting you get is anything but warm, and your life with the King is far from enjoyable. He knows it isn’t your fault his husband is gone, but that fact alone won’t prevent him from taking it out on you.
Warnings: Dark Themes, Smut, NonCon, Language, Kinda Slow Burn, Bucky with the mood swings, Probably poor editing
Word Count: 3.2K
A/n: I cannot put into words how tired I am rn like idk why im so tired all the time but I am. Anyway, here's another part of this cause I like this series but its SO FUCKING DARK LIKE SO DAMN DARK PLEASE BE WARNED!! I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK FROM WRITING PART THREE BECAUSE ITS FUCKING DARK
THIS SERIES CONTAINS SMUT AND VERY DARK THEMES THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME AUDIENCES!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
PART ONE
~*~
“Your Majesty? Are you feeling at all better today?” You shake your head, curled up on your bed in the fetal position in a pathetic attempt at blocking out the world.
“Please, Majesty. A walk and some fresh air will do you well. It needn’t be long.” You sigh and push your blankets away from your face.
“You will not stop until I agree, will you?” Natasha smiles gently at you. “I’m afraid not, Your Majesty. It is only for your health that I insist.” She helps you to your feet, a frown on her face at the way you struggle still to move.
“You are still in pain?” You simply nod, wincing when she has you step into a dress.
“The pain is more bearable than it was.” She nods, mind wandering as she helps you into your dress for the day.
It’s a simple navy dress with a gold string wrapping around the waist. The sleeves hang past your fingers and you toy with the pretty fabric while Natalia holds an arm around your waist.
The walk is painful and slow and with every step, you wish you were back in your room.
From the looks you get from the staff, you know it’s known how unwelcome you are. This is not how you thought your union would be at all.
~*~
“You were supposed to take care of her! Treat her with kindness and compassion! Not leave her bloody on her bed once you’ve satisfied your need!” Natalia snarls, slamming her hand on the King’s desk. He looks up at her, a bored expression on his face until he processes her words. Then his expression gradually changes to one of regret.
“I... I hadn’t meant to be so rough with her. She... I just... It’s a betrayal, Natalia. I’ve broken my oath to the man I love.” She shakes her head, glaring at him.
“No, it is not. You and Steven made an agreement that you would find a queen. You chose her specifically. And now that Steve is no longer here you’re wanting to back out? That is not how this works, James, and you know that.”
He grinds his teeth together so hard he’s surprised they don’t break.
“That’s exactly the problem! Every time I look at her I’m reminded of him! Because we were supposed to have her together! We were supposed to marry her together and bed her together! She is not mine, she was meant to be ours!”
“And so you treat her like a burden because your husband is not here? You act as though she is nothing more than a whore? That woman in there has feelings, James.” The king pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut to try and reign in his anger.
“You could never possibly understand what it is that I’m feeling. I already admitted to being rougher than I wanted to be. And I should have stopped, but I needed to get it through to consummate the marriage.”
Nat pauses at his words, hoping he doesn’t mean what she thinks he means.
“What do you mean you should have stopped? Did she tell you to stop?”
He swallows hard before nodding.
“She... I could hardly understand her, she was crying so much, but she begged me to a-and she was pushing me away. But I didn’t.”
The harsh sound of her hand connecting with his cheek echoes through the room. The King is stunned but he knows he deserves far worse than a mere smack.
“I never thought you capable of such cruelty, James. That woman is your wife, the Queen of your Kingdom, and you have treated her as if she is the one who took your husband from you.”
He grows angry at the mention of the man he loves. “She is attempting to replace him!” He exclaims, slamming his fist down on his desk to enunciate his point.
“How could you possibly know that?!” Nat counters, her voice raised to match his.
“She has said nothing about wanting to replace Steven! She was well aware that she would be bound to both kings, not just you. I’m sure she is wondering about where her other husband is, why he has not been seen. You need to talk to her. Apologize for brutalizing her the way you have. Mend your relationship with her because she is the only chance you have at continuing your bloodline. She is the only one who can ensure your reign continues.”
The King is silent, mulling over her words before sighing heavily.
“Where is she?”
Nat crosses her arms over her chest. “It has been four days since your marriage and you are only just asking now? She has been unable to walk for the past three days, so she has remained in her chambers. I forced her for a short walk today, but I do not think it did much to lift her spirits.” His jaw clenches for a moment before he lets a breath out through his nose.
“When she is healed I shall talk to her.” It’s not much, but it’s a start, and that’s all Natalia can ask for.
It’s two days after that before you can walk on your own, and even then you’ve got a severe limp. It’s two more days after that before you can sit down on anything besides your bed. It isn’t until ten days after the consummation of your marriage that you leave your room again.
“If you’re feeling healed, the King would like you to join him for tea on his private balcony.”
You’re shocked at Wanda’s words, but you try to hide it, offering her a nod while she helps you get dressed into a simple light blue gown.
She leads you through the Palace towards a side that you’ve never seen before, not that you’ve had much of a chance to explore. When you reach a set of grand oak doors you find yourself growing increasingly nervous.
Wanda, oblivious to your racing heart, knocks twice on the wood then bows to you before scurrying down the hallway and out of sight.
“Enter,” a muffled voice calls. You take a deep breath and push the door open, keeping your eyes cast downwards as you enter the King’s chambers.
His eyes find you immediately, a frown on his face at the way you keep your eyes down on the floor.
“I am glad you’ve rested and recovered,” he says, his frown deepening when you flinch at his voice. You say nothing in reply, simply stand with your hands folded gently atop your skirts.
“Come over to me. The tea is waiting.” You nod, risking a glance up to find where he is and walking over to him. He sits at a small table on the balcony, his attention focused somewhere over the horizon, and you risk taking a breath in.
You carefully sit down on the chair across from him, a wince flashing over your features as discomfort flares between your thighs. The expression doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and a wave of guilt washes through him.
“I... I wanted to apologize for our wedding night. And... I do hope that you can forgive me for my actions and we can start anew.”
You’re beyond surprised and look up at him, unable to stop the look of shock from crossing your face. “Y-you have nothing to apologize for, Your Majesty.”
He watches you, watches the way your fingers tremble as you reach out for the teacup. Watches the way you avoid his eyes and shrink into yourself as if to seem as unthreatening and small as possible.
You’re afraid.
Not that he’s surprised, necessarily. What, with the way he treated you? He’s shocked you’re holding yourself together so well.
“I had not intended on being so rough with you. Especially not on our first night together. You must understand that I am not myself as of late. I am... worried about my husband. Hoping to find him soon.” You nod, Wanda’s words echoing in your head.
“There is nothing for me to forgive, Your Majesty. I understand the way you’d like for us to get along and I understand my purpose and my place. You needn’t strain yourself over me. It is my duty to be at your leisure, even if it is not what I desire.”
Your words stun him into silence, the tension growing between the two of you.
“(Y/n),” your name feels foreign on his tongue yet so very right. “When I said what I had said yesterday... All I meant was that-” “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I do believe I understood. I am not so foolish as to believe that this marriage was for anything besides politics. You and the King need an heir and I am here to provide one. That is my place, as you said. Now I do hope you will excuse me, for I am feeling rather delicate and would very much like to return to my chambers.”
He says nothing, simply nods his head and watches as you hold back another wince as you stand up.
He isn’t alone for long. No, Natalia is strolling into his chambers mere moments after you’ve left.
“That was brief,” she says, eyes taking note of the untouched tea that sits across from the King.
“I apologized. That is all that was required of me, yes?” She groans and shakes her head. “How will Steve feel if, when he returns, you and the Queen cannot remain in the same room? You know that he will be beyond disappointed.”
“What am I to do? I tried to speak with her about it but she... it seems to be strictly political. She does not seem to even want to entertain the idea of anything beyond a loveless marriage.”
“Is that, perhaps because she is afraid of how you will treat her if she were to express her desire to be wanted? If you cannot express with words how you feel, then do so with your actions.”
He doesn’t come to you that night. Nor the night after.
It isn't until the third day after that that you see him again. Even then it isn’t any different than the last time.
You’re leaving your chambers to go for a walk in the garden, something Wanda and Nat have been encouraging upon realizing you’re not feeling like yourself.
“I’m telling you, James. I think it’s him.” That’s Samuel’s voice.
“I think he’s right. We should go see. Send a team out. It doesn’t look like they are very securely guarding him. We could go in and have him back within a month.” That one’s Natalia.
Wanda’s chattering goes unnoticed by you as you realize they’re talking about King Steven.
“If you’re sure about this, then gather a team and have the horses prepped. We’ll leave at dusk.”
As they’re rounding the corner they nearly bump right into you. You and Wanda both stop, both of you dropping into a curtsy while Nat and Sam bow.
“Your Majesty,” they greet. You nod at them, eyes cast down.
“You two are both dismissed. You as well, Lady Wanda. I require a word with my wife.” You’re confused at him calling you his wife but you say nothing, eyes stuck on the ground as three sets of footsteps walk away from you.
He’s quiet, watching the way you avoid his eyes.
Finally, unable to bear the silence anymore and wanting to have him be through with whatever it is he wants, you speak.
“You are leaving?” He waits until you glance up at him to answer.
“I will be, yes. We are not sure how long I shall be gone for. But before I leave I’ll be coming to you in your chambers. There’s the chance that I won’t return, so I need to do my part in ensuring my lineage continues. I haven’t come to you to allow you time to recover, but there is only so long you can expect a man to wait for his wife.” You say nothing, simply nod at him.
“I shall be waiting for you, Your Majesty. Is that all?” He lets out a deep breath before speaking again.
“I require an heir, (Y/n). If I am gone for any longer than two months and you are not with child when I return, I will not be as accommodating as I have been.” You can’t help the scoff that leaves you.
“Is something funny to you?”
You look up at him for a moment then shake your head.
“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty. I just hadn’t realized that this was you being accommodating.”
He grabs your face roughly in his flesh hand, fingers digging into your cheeks and forcing you to look at him.
“You watch your tongue with me, woman. If you forget your place I will need to remind you of it, won’t I? But you don’t want that.” Your heart races in your chest and you quickly shake your head ‘no’.
“Remember your place. Or I will beat you back into it. Understand?” You nod and only after a moment longer does he release his grip on your chin.
You drop your head, eyes focused on the ground as he walks away from you. Tears sting at your eyes and you take a few minutes to compose yourself before walking back into the Palace, heading for your chambers.
~*~
He doesn’t bother knocking. He just pushes the door open and makes himself at home. To his surprise, you’re seated on your bed in a nightgown, nose buried in a book.
You’re so caught up in whatever you’re reading that you don’t even notice him.
He takes this moment to really take you in, eyes inspecting your face.
You’re beautiful, that much he and Steve gathered long before even deciding on marrying you. You have a gentle beauty to your face that is such a refreshing change to all the hard and gruesome things he’s seen in his life. He hates that all he wants to do is stare at you.
He notices that. your face lacks its usual glow, and you have dark bags beneath your eyes. Making a mental note to tell Nat to make sure you sleep properly, he takes a step towards you.
You glance upwards, jumping at the way he stands watching you.
He takes another step towards you, unbuttoning his shirt and walking closer to you. You set your book aside and swallow hard.
“How will you have me?” He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, eyeing you for a moment before deciding.
“On your back.” You push the blankets aside and lay down on your back, trying to take deep breaths.
He takes hold of your ankles and gently tugs you down the bed until your bum is at the edge.
His member slaps against your slit and you jolt, tears welling up in your eyes at the memories of the last time this happened.
Instead of pushing into you dry like he did last time, he leans down and spits right on your intimate area. Shame fills you at how close he comes to you, and at the lewd act, but he seems unfazed. He does the same to his length then slowly pushes in.
There isn’t nearly enough lubricant, and it pinches and burns, but it’s not nearly as painful as last time.
That, however, doesn’t stop the tears from raining down your cheeks. Your chest shudders, silent sobs trying to break free. You bring your hands up to your face, pressing one to your mouth and the other shielding the rest of your face from view.
The King stops moving, his brows furrowed and eyes focused on what he can see of your face, trying to see if he’s causing you pain.
“A-am I hurting you?” He asks, his voice strained. You shake your head, keeping your eyes closed and waiting for him to keep going.
He’s hesitant but slowly starts thrusting again, pressing his face into your neck if only so he doesn’t have to see the tears on your face. The tears he’s causing.
It pains him to see such sorrow when a pretty face like yours should only be happy. He hates himself for knowing he’s the cause, but he can’t very well stop. He has a job to do, an heir to create.
He focuses instead on how your body feels beneath him. Soft and squishy in all the perfect places. And by the Gods, you’re so tight and warm around him. He groans softly against your neck, lips subconsciously pressing kisses to the skin as he approaches his climax.
You hold your breath as he fills you with warmth again, his breath hot and damp against your skin.
He stays sheathed within you for a few moments longer before pulling out and tucking his cock back into his trousers.
“I leave in a few hours. My councilmen are in charge while I am gone. Remember your place.” You don’t answer and he pauses, leaning down to grab your face the same way he did before.
“What occurs between us in our bed remains between you and me. I do not want to hear of you saying a word about it to anyone. You are mine and I shall treat you how I want.” You nod, mind and body numb.
“Good. I shall return shortly. If I will be gone longer than a month I will send word.” He exits without another word, leaving you used and broken yet again.
~*~
The riders leave as soon as the sun sets, the king leading them. You watch through the small window in your room, heart heavy as you realize that you well and truly serve but one purpose to the man.
“Dinner, your Majesty.” You glance over your shoulder to where Wanda is holding a tray of food.
“No thank you, Wanda. I am not hungry tonight. If you don’t mind, I’d like to go to bed.” She nods, setting the tray down and hurrying to get your bed ready.
“I can do that tonight, Wanda. I would... I would like some time alone, please.” She pauses, the pain in your voice far more evident than you wanted it to be.
“Of course, Your Majesty.” She bows her head, picks up the tray of food, then hurries out of your chambers and leaves you alone for the night.
You hardly sleep at all, silent tears tracking down your cheeks as thoughts of how much better your old life was fill your mind.
You truly are no better than a prisoner, and for a moment you find yourself wishing you were beheaded with your mother.
#king!bucky#king!steve rogers x reader#king!bucky x Princess!reader X king!steve#king!Steve X reader#king au#bucky x reader king au#Steve X reader king au#stucky#stucky fanfic#stucky/reader#stucky x reader au#royal!au#bucky x reader royal au#bucky x reader royal au#steve rogers x reader#Steve Rogers x reader x bucky#bucky x reader x steve#Steve X reader x bucky
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Secret
A/N: Hello, hello! Not much to say about this one other than Allison made me do it (2021 is amazing but angsty and I needed some serious fluff so I wrote it myself smh) Anyways, enjoy :)
Summery: AU in which once you meet your soulmate, you can hear them talking to themselves. You’re Shawn’s personal assistant and soulmate but you have to keep your relationship a secret, until one day . . .
Word count: 6.5k+
Warnings: Swearing, and little angst towards the end (but only a little)
---
This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.
Nobody knew. Nobody. Not your parents, not Andrew, not even Brian knew. You never told anyone about it. But now the whole world knew about your relationship.
The whole world knew and you sure as hell were going to lose your job.
---
You wouldn’t say you knew you were soulmates right away, but it didn’t take long to figure it out. Well, it didn’t take long for Shawn to figure it out and tell you. In fact, it only took him about six hours after meeting you to realize you were the one destined for him.
He knew the moment he met you that there was something about you that was just different. Not different like “I’m not like other girls” different. Different as in someone that gave him a feeling he’d never had before.
“Shawn, this is Y/N Y/L/N, your new personal assistant. Y/N, this is Shawn.” You smiled nervously as Andrew introduced you to your new boss, giving him a small wave before realizing how unprofessional it looked.
You stuck your hand out for a handshake. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Mendes.”
“Oh, please,” he chuckled as he shook your hand. “Call me Shawn. Mr. Mendes is way too formal.”
You let out a small laugh as well, dropping his hand. There was an awkward pause that made you worry you’d already made the wrong impression. Too weak of a handshake? A wavering voice? What made this go downhill so fast?
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to use the restroom.” You nodded at the two men before heading over to the bathroom in the hotel lobby.
“She seemed nervous,” Shawn mentioned once you were out of earshot.
“I think she’s going to be a good fit. She’s a year younger than you and her application was great. Give her a chance. She was meeting the Shawn Mendes, her boss, after all.
Get it together, Y/N.
The words muttered in his head were in her voice, not his own. He frowned, sure that his mind was simply playing tricks on him.
Meanwhile, you were in the bathroom, cursing yourself for already making the wrong impression.
“You said ten words to the man and he probably already thinks you’re a moron,” you muttered as you paced in front of the sinks. “Take a deep breath and get back out there.”
“You okay?” Andrew asked, referring to the distant look that had overtaken Shawn’s face.
“Hmm? . . . Oh, yeah. Zoned out for a second.” Am I hearing my soulmate’s voice?
“Play nice with Y/N. I really think you’re going to like her.”
You exited the bathroom and put a pleasant look on your face as you approached the group. That was your job now: look and make everyone happy.
“Y/N, I’ll show you to your room so you can get settled,” Andrew said, gesturing for you to lead the way towards the elevator.
“Wait, Y/N.” Shawn reached out to gently grab your shoulder. “Do you wanna meet up before dinner for a smoothie or something? You know, to get to know each other?” His soft smile was something you couldn’t say no to, even if you’d only known him for three minutes.
Thirty minutes later, Shawn was knocking on your hotel door and taking you out for a smoothie shop across the street.
“What do you think you’re gonna get?” he asked once you were standing in line, taking his wallet out of his pocket.
“Trying to decide between strawberry-banana and berry blast.”
“This is the best smoothie shop around and you want strawberry-banana?”
“Or berry blast.” You’d just met him but the banter came easily. “Besides, if they’re that good at making smoothies, then the strawberry-banana will knock me off my feet with how good it is.”
“I don’t know if I can work with such a basic person as an assistant.” He playfully nudged you a step away from him.
“Oh, is this a test? Because you haven’t even seen me actually work yet.” You stepped in front of him, deciding on strawberry-banana.
“Yeah, but I could fire you for any reason at any time so really-”
“You’re not gonna fire me.” You turned around and gave him a smirk.
“But I could.” He stepped unreasonably close just as you stepped up to order. You pushed his face back with the back of your hand. He’s acting awfully friendly.
“I’ll take a strawberry-banana smoothie please,” you smiled at the cashier, pulling out some money.
“And I’ll get blueberry and avocado smoothie,” Shawn said as he pushed down your hand with the money and held out his card to the cashier. You glared at him playfully and lightly elbowed him in the stomach. “What? It’s good for your skin.”
“You guys are cute,” the cashier giggled after announcing the total and swiping Shawn’s card.
“Oh, we barely know each other.” Your words were a lost cause as Shawn dragged you aside so the next person could order.
“Shh, she doesn’t know that. Make her think there’s a world where a person with a basic smoothie order and a person with a good smoothie order can be soulmates.”
“I haven’t overheard you talking to yourself yet so I don’t think that’s possible.”
“But imagine.” He led you over to a table and plopped down on a seat. You turned around to hang your purse over the back of the chair as you sat down.
“Wait, how much do I owe you?” You pulled the purse back over the chair and dug through it to find the money you haphazardly stuck in there just a minute before.
“Nothing. It’s on me,” he said, like it was the obvious answer.
“But I feel bad making you pay for it.”
“You’re not making me pay for it, I wanted to. Consider it a ‘welcome to the team’ present.”
“That’s very kind of you.”
He liked how nervous he was making you. Whether it was because he was your boss or because he was devilishly handsome, he wasn’t entirely sure. But, he did know that you made him a little nervous too, especially since he was 95 percent sure you were his soulmate.
---
“You know what?” you said to yourself in your hotel room that night. “This is going to be really good for me. A fresh start and a chance to see the world. It doesn’t get much better than that.”
Shawn was distracted from his own thoughts once he heard your voice in his head. Shawn Mendes is my fucking boss. Not only that, but he’s an awesome dude. He smiled, not entirely sure he should be listening into this conversation. To be fair though, he couldn’t help it. Your voice was in his head.
“Damn,” he said as he put on a clean shirt for the night. “That girl was real cute.” He heard something fall in the other room followed by absolute silence, leading him to believe that you heard him. “She had a basic-ass smoothie order though.”
Was that my soulmate? He couldn’t help but laugh, trying to stay quiet as he figured out how to surprise you. Who did I meet today? You started to list the numerous people you met at dinner that night as Shawn shuffled over to the door that connected your hotel rooms.
“Hey, soulmate,” he quipped as he swung the door open. You let out a yelp, arms holding a shirt over your chest as you fell back onto the bed. “Oh, sorry!”
You threw the shirt over your head and glanced at the mirror on the wall to make sure you looked presentable. “You can come back in now,” you said once you were decent. Shawn reentered with a hand over his eyes, softly closing the door behind him. “You can look,” you giggled. “I have a shirt on now.”
Shawn put his hand down and smiled sheepishly at you. You wanted to swoon at how cute he looked with his rosy cheeks and messy curls.
“Hi.” He leaned against the wall, watching your feet get closer and closer to him until your sock clad toes were almost touching his.
“Hey.” He slowly looked up to meet your gaze. You gave him a shy smile and wave, to which he could only smile back. He’s been dreaming of the moment he met his soulmate for all these years yet he found himself at a loss of words.
“So . . . how much of that did you hear?”
“Oh, I heard the whole shabang. I’m glad you think so highly of me.” You groaned and leaned into his chest.
“You weren’t supposed to hear any of that.”
“That’s part of the whole soulmate thing. Can’t help it.”
“We’re actually soulmates?” You lifted your head so your chin was resting on his chest.
“Yeah,” He wrapped his arms around you. “I think we are.”
You brought your hands up so they were resting on his shoulders. “That moment would be a lot more romantic if I wasn’t staring up your nose.”
Shawn threw his head back, body shaking with laughter. You buried your face into his chest as you laughed along with him.
There was a comfortable pause before either of you dared to break the moment. “I’d day we should stay up all night and talk about our deepest fears and hopes for the future but we both look dead tired so we should probably call it a night.”
“Probably should. Night, Shawn.”
“Night, Y/N.” He squeezed you for a second longer before opening the door and stepping back into his room, sending you a wink before he shut it all the way.
“Shawn Mendes is my soulmate,” you whispered to yourself. “Shawn Mendes is my fucking soulmate!”
“Uh huh,” Shawn chuckled from the other room. “We’re definitely soulmates.”
---
It was a year of bliss full of sneaking kisses behind closed doors and holding hands under tables. You agreed at the start to keep your relationship a secret. With you settling into the new job and the two of you wanting to explore the relationship, it was best to keep everything under wraps. Hard as you tried, people had their suspicions for one reason or another.
It started with Andrew about a month after you realized you were soulmates. Shawn knew he could trust Andrew but he also knew that Andrew could be kind of harsh when it came to professionalism. The man didn’t expect the two of you to refer to each other strictly by last name, but he did expect that you abide by the rules and not cross the line between platonic and romantic.
So Shawn thought it would be best to find out what would happen if you were to announce that you were together. You know, in a hypothetical situation.
“Andrew, Shawn is looking for you,” you said as you peeked your head around the doorway of the green room. “He’s in his dressing room.”
Andrew’s head perked up at the calling of his name and nodded, standing up and following you to Shawn’s dressing room. You let him go in by himself, telling him that you had some other things to attend to. Once he shut the door though, you put your ear to it in hopes that you would be able to overhear what he had to say about Shawn’s “hypothetical” situation.
“Y/N said you needed me?” Andrew said once the door was closed.
“Yeah, I just had a quick question.” Shawn picked at the skin on the side of his thumb. “I just thought of this random situation and I was wondering what would happen if it actually happened.”
Andrew nodded for him to go on, still confused as to why Shawn made him come all the way down there for this.
“So say, my assistant was my soulmate. What would happen? Would they be able to keep their job or . . .?” He could see the gears turning in Andrew’s head at the mention of a soulmate and he wasn’t quite sure how he was going to answer.
“Is this about Y/N?”
“No, no. Just in some alternate universe. What would happen?”
“It depends. You obviously have a soulmate, we can’t stop that from happening, but I’d rather it not be someone you worked with,” Andrew started. “When I hire any team member, no matter what their job is, they agree that there is to be no romantic involvement with you. It keeps things professional and could prevent things from going haywire with the media. Things never look good when a star gets involved with someone on their team. I just don’t want to deal with all the bad publicity that could come out of that kind of situation. I don’t know if I would fire them but it would likely be on the table.” He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. “But that’s not happening with you and Y/N, right?”
Your face dropped. You were expecting that sort of answer, but it still hurt to hear.
“What? Pfft, of course not. I was just curious,” Shawn replied, walking over to the door and pushing it open. You stumbled back, suddenly realizing that you were supposed to be attending “other things.”
“That was all. Thanks, Andrew.” Andrew gave Shawn a look that said he knew something was up, but Shawn laughed it off.
Okay?” He stepped out into the hallway, bumping into you. “Oops, sorry, Y/N.”
“Haha, no problem,” you waved him off. “Shawn, they need you on stage for soundcheck.”
“Soundcheck doesn’t start for another half hour,” Andrew said.
“They wanted to start early. Something about having trouble with stuff in the past so they wanted to get a head start.”
Shawn shot you a discrete thumbs up, eyes silently thanking you for the save.
“Okay then? I’ll let you do what you need to do.”
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in once he turned around and started making his way back down the hallway.
“Do they actually need me?”
“No, but I needed to look like I wasn’t eavesdropping.”
Shawn looked down the hallway to make sure no one was there before pulling you into a hug behind the open door and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I love you.”
“Love you too, big guy. Can we go to stage so it doesn’t look like I was lying?” You pulled away and took hold of his hand, tugging him in the direction of the stage.
Shawn rolled his eyes. “The things I do for you.”
“Thank youuu.” He followed you down the long hallway, checking every so often to make sure no one was behind you.
“Nice shoes,” he smirked, glancing down at the tie dye Crocs you were wearing.
“My heel broke and I didn’t have another pair of shoes on me.”
“But you had rainbow Crocs?”
“It’s fashion and comfort all in one shoe. You expect me to carry another pair of heels around when I could be wearing these bad boys?”
“I mean, they go wonderfully with the blouse and slacks. I kinda want a pair now.”
“Guess I know what to get you for Christmas.”
The sound of footsteps coming towards you stopped your conversation. You ripped your hand out of Shawn’s and he found himself missing the warmth of it.
“Hey, just talked to stage crew,” Andrew said once he popped around the corner you were just about to turn. “They’re not starting yet. They’re actually on track to be starting late. Don’t know who told you they needed him.”
“That’s weird,” you said, attempting to subtly put some more space between Shawn and yourself. “Guess we have some time. You guys need me to get anything for you?” The men both shook their heads no.
“Nice shoes, by the way.” He was gone as quickly as he appeared.
You looked over to see Shawn doubled over, body shaking with laughter. “Shut up, he almost caught us.”
“Yeah, but he saw the shoes!”
“How did the universe put us together?”
“Oh stop.” He wrapped you in his arms once again. “You know you love me.”
---
Brian was the next to get curious about your relationship.
A knock on the door that connected you and Shawn’s hotel room made Shawn look up from his phone for the first time in a while. He was met with your sheepish smile and what he now affectionately called the “Y/N wants something wave.”
He narrowed his eyes at you. “What do you want?”
“Can I borrow one of your shirts? All of mine are dirty.”
“You have like 1,000 shirts.”
“Well 995 of them are dressy shirts for my job and I’m out of comfy shirts to sleep in. Would you be willing to sacrifice one of yours so I may bask in its comfort?”
“I guess so,” he sighed, leaning over the side of his bed to grab a shirt.
“Thank you.” You smiled wider as he came towards you and threw the shirt over your face. “Ooh, it smells like you.”
“That could be because I wear it a lot.”
“Is it your favorite shirt?”
“Maybe.”
“Ooh, I feel special.”
“Go put a shirt on, weirdo.”
You disappeared behind the door for a second and slipped the shirt on. You stepped back into Shawn’s room without a second thought and suddenly, Shawn couldn’t take his eyes off of you.
The silence and his stare made you feel self conscious for a moment. Does he not want me to wear it?
“I actually have a clean shirt if you don’t want me to wear-”
“No, keep it on. It looks good on you.” Two months into your secret relationship and he was head over heels in love with you.
“Thanks . . .” Completely uncharted territory. Neither of you had any idea what to do from here.
“Do you wanna, uh, sleep here tonight?” He scratched the back of his neck.
“Yeah . . . I’d like that.”
He held his arm out for you to enter and closed the door behind you.
“I, uh, need to use the bathroom real quick.”
You stepped into the bathroom and braced yourself on the counter. “It’s no big deal, Y/N. He’s your soulmate. No need to get nervous.”
Shawn melted as the words played in his head. Now go out there and be the best damn soulmate there is.
You emerged from the bathroom like nothing happened, leaning on the doorway with your arms crossed. “Sup?”
“You didn’t flush the toilet.”
“Oh please, we both know I wasn’t actually going to the bathroom.”
Shawn held his hands up in defense, extending them out as you shuffled over to the bed and flopped down on it.
“I’m going to steal this shirt, by the way,” you said matter of factly.
“You should. It looks good on you.” He tugged you onto his chest so your head was laying over his heart.
“You’re gonna let me steal your favorite shirt, just like that?” You flipped over so your chin was resting on his shoulder. He nodded. “Damn, that was easy. You really do love me.”
You spent the next hour and a half talking about the random thoughts that crossed your mind. Minute by minute, your eyes got droopier and droopier, until you were fast asleep on top of Shawn. It was everything he wanted in life, right there in his arms.
He was almost asleep himself when there was a sharp knock on the door. He got up, careful not to move you too much and wake you up before opening the door.
“Hey, can I borrow some toothpaste?” a tired looking Brian asked, a yawn escaping his mouth in the fluorescent hotel hallway.
“Uh, yeah.” Shawn let Brian step inside, completely forgetting in his sleepy state that you were laying on the bed. He came out of the bathroom a second later to hand the toothpaste to Brian, who seemed completely shocked out of the daze he was in earlier. “What?”
“Is that Y/N?”
“Oh, yeah, she had a rough day so she came over here to vent. Ended up falling asleep before she went back to her own room.” He was getting better at coming up with these coverups.
“Really? She seemed like she was having a great day when I saw her earlier. I think the tie dye Crocs put her in a good mood.”
“I don’t know,” Shawn shrugged. “Maybe something went wrong after you saw her?”
“Maybe,” Brian nodded slowly, already putting the pieces together. “She’s not your soulmate, is she?”
“No, of course not. Just good friends.” The response came quick. Almost too quick.
“Okay, sure.” Brian took the toothpaste from Shawn with a skeptical look. “Thanks. I’ll give it back tomorrow morning.”
Shawn gave him a thumbs up and closed the door. He looked back to your sleeping form and couldn’t help but grin. He loved everything about you. How bad would it actually be if someone found out about you?
---
“Wanna ditch and get milkshakes?” You were standing in the corner of some celebrity’s mansion when Shawn asked the question. The Grammys afterparty wasn’t all that appealing to you, but it was part of the job and Shawn wanted you to go as his plus one since you were, as he claimed, his “best friend in the whole entire universe.”
“Hell yeah.” You pushed yourself off the wall, brushing off the back of your dress. “Where’re we going?”
“I dunno. What’s open this late?” He reached out to grab your hand, which you almost took before realizing where you were. His face dropped the slightest bit, wanting nothing more than to hold your hand and let the whole world know that he’d found his soulmate.
“I’m sure there’s something close by.” You nodded for him to follow you. “Wait, I have to ‘convince’ you to stay so I can say I tried to keep you here and Andrew doesn’t get mad at me.”
Shawn crossed his arms and nodded. “Can we ditch and get milkshakes?”
“No, we have to stay so you don’t seem rude.”
“But this party's boring and we could have a lot more fun somewhere else.”
“Shawn.”
“I could fire you . . .”
“Nice,” you said, grabbing his wrist and making your way through the crowd.
The cool air of the night was a relief from how hot it was inside but you found yourself pressing yourself into Shawn’s side anyways. He threw his arm over your shoulder as the two of you made your way to the edge of the driveway. The noise from the party faded into the background and neither of you said anything, enjoying one of the rare quiet moments you got together.
“Where to, m’lady?”
“You’re the one who wanted to leave.”
“Don’t act like you wanted to be there,” he teased, pulling away to grab your hand and twirl you under his arm.
“Well, I’m indecisive so you have the honors of picking the place.”
“I guess let’s go into the city and go to the first place that’s open.”
“Sounds good to me.” Your smile could light up the streets better than the streetlamps and he never wanted to see it go away.
“Take this, by the way.” Shawn shook his suit jacket off and put it over your shoulders. The red cloth was a little too big but he thought you looked stunning nonetheless.
“I’m not cold though.” You pulled your arms through the sleeves anyways.
“Let me do the boyfriend thing,” he pleaded as he rolled his shirt sleeves up.
“Fine. Only because you look really hot with your shirt sleeves rolled up.”
He smirked, making a mental note for the future.
You walked for a while before you stumbled across a McDonald’s, mumbling a might as well before opening the door for Shawn.
“Hey, I’m supposed to do that.”
“Oh, please. Let me be nice.”
The restaurant was empty, the only other person in there being the cashier who sleepily appeared from the kitchen as you looked at the menu. Shawn stepped up and ordered a milkshake before you stepped up and ordered a shake and fries. You whipped out your card and paid for it before Shawn could, to which he playfully glared at you.
“You pay for stuff all the time. Let me pay seven dollars this one time.”
He huffed, letting you know that you’d won. You smiled triumphantly as you sat down at a table and patted the space across from you. Shawn sat down and propped his elbow on the table to rest his head on his hand.
“Why are you so pretty?” you mumbled as you admired him. Seven billion people in the world and you somehow were lucky enough to have Shawn Mendes as your soulmate. Who would’ve thought?
“Why are you so pretty?” He reached across the table to grab your hand.
“I asked first.” You intertwined your fingers with his.
Your order number was called before he could respond, causing him to let go of your hand and go up to the counter. He grabbed the food and turned around to catch you checking him out. “What’re you looking at?”
“I can’t help it! Do you have any idea how hot it is when you roll the sleeves of a button up all the way up to your elbows?”
He laughed as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Would’ve done this a lot more often if I knew how much you liked it,” he said as he popped a fry into his mouth.
“Well, it’s super hot so please do it more often.” You took a sip of your milkshake. “And be more careful. Someone might see us.,” you said, referring to the act of affection he did moments before.
“We’re fine. The poor kid’s so tired they’re falling asleep back there.”
“Still. We’re in public and I really don’t want to lose my job.”
“Andrew won’t fire you. He just wants to scare us,” Shawn insisted, reaching over to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “Besides, if word does get out we can finally move forward with our lives. Get married? Really start our future together?” It had only been eight months but Shawn knew without a single doubt that he wanted to be with you. (The soulmate part helped a little bit too.)
“You really want to do that?”
“You’re my soulmate and the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Of course I want to get married! That is, as long as you want to.”
“I’d like that.”
The sound of your phone ringing ruined the moment, and you quickly fumbled to get it out of your pocket.
“Andrew, hey,” you said, watching Shawn’s face change from lovey-dovey to concerned and a little scared.
“Where are you guys?” Andrew’s voice came through the phone, slightly drowned out by the loud music playing in the background.
“I . . . uh . . .”
“It sounds really quiet over there. Did you guys sneak back to the hotel?” You cringed at what sounded like a disappointed tone as you tried to come up with an answer that wouldn’t get you fired.
“Shawn wanted milkshakes so we’re at McDonalds,” you finally admitted.
“Dude!” Shawn whisper yelled.
“I tried to make him stay but he was insistent!”
“Can you put Shawn on the phone?”
“Sure,” you said, passing the phone to Shawn.
“Andrew, hi,” Shawn said in a voice that did not at all match the look on his face. You couldn’t hear what Andrew was saying but based on the intermittent “I know” and “yeah” you assumed he was getting lectured about ditching the party.
“We will. See you there.” He hung up with a sigh. “Our romantic time at McDonald’s is going to have to come to an end, my dear.”
“What’d he say?” You took your phone from his hand and stood up.
“Come back to the hotel or you’re gonna get it.” He took his milkshake in one hand and your hand in the other, letting you take the last few fries and throw out the cardboard.
“You’re going to get me fired one of these days.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It is a bad thing! I like my job, thank you very much.”
“I kid, I kid.”
His smile was all you needed in life. Job or not, you would always have Shawn, right?
---
“Here’s your boarding pass,” you said through a yawn, handing Shawn the slip of paper as you walked into the airport.
The pass you handed him had your name printed on it and he laughed to himself. He took the pass you had in your hand and switched it with the one he gave you.
“What’re you-”
“You gave me your pass.” He placed his hand on your lower back, subtly trying to speed you up so you could catch up to the rest of the group.
“Oh, sorry,” you muttered softly. “I’ve gotten three hours of sleep in the past two days. I’m so ready to get on the plane and take a freaking nap.”
“We gotta get on the plane first, sleepyhead.” You were dressed in leggings, an oversized t-shirt, and your tie dye Crocs. It was one of the few times he ever saw you dressed down on the job and he was loving it.
“Watch your hand, there’s people all around.”
“It’s really hard to take you seriously when you look like you’re about to pass out in my arms.”
“Shawn!”
“I’m helping out my tired best friend. Besides, it’s four in the morning, nobody’s around.” He didn’t move his arm, even as you got closer to the group. It was like he wanted to get caught. “And, if you really wanted me to move, you would’ve shaken my arm off by now.”
He knew you too well.
He kept his arm there as you checked your luggage and went through security, only letting go when absolutely necessary. It earned some strange looks from a couple team members but you were too tired to care. All you wanted to do was take a year long nap.
You ended sitting in the terminal with half the team while the other half went to get coffee. Shawn sat next to you, occasionally glancing around to see if he could steal a kiss from you when no one was looking.
It was another 30 minutes until you were supposed to board but you weren’t sure you would be able to keep your eyes open for much longer. Shawn noticed your bobbing head and drooping eyes and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pushing your head so it was resting on his shoulder.
“I’ll wake you up when it’s time to board.”
“Thanks, babe,” you whispered, pressing a subtle kiss to his shoulder as your eyes fluttered closed.
“What are you guys gonna do when you find your real soulmates?” Brian asked casually, not even looking up from his phone. Shawn’s head snapped up at the mention of “soulmates” and Brian snickered. “You two act like you’re soulmates all the freaking time. What’s gonna happen when you find the actual one for you?”
“What if we are soulmates and we just didn’t tell anyone?” It was a stupid answer but he wasn’t sure what else to say. Was he really about to expose your relationship after keeping it a secret for all this time?
“You wouldn’t be able to keep that from me.” While Brian wasn’t entirely convinced his two friends weren’t soulmates, he didn’t have the proof to say definitively that they were.
“Fair enough.”
The conversation stopped there but Shawn couldn’t stop thinking about it. Eleven months together and you somehow managed to keep it a secret from everyone. It meant that you couldn’t progress your relationship as far as you wanted to though. Was it even worth it to keep it a secret anymore?
Your boarding group was called before he could dwell on it too long and Shawn was forced to wake you up. As much as he wanted to keep you asleep, he knew there was no getting you on the plane otherwise.
“Wake up, pretty girl,” he muttered as he pressed his face to the top of your head and rubbed his hand up and down your arm. You sighed and snuggled deeper into him, craving his warmth. “You can go back to sleep soon but we gotta get on the plane.”
You lifted your head slowly, blinking at the bright lights of the terminal. Shawn helped you stand up and grabbed your carry on and helped you stand up.
“I’m supposed to take your stuff. That’s my actual job,” you said, reaching for your backpack that he was holding.
“You’re tired, honey. Let me carry your bag.”
You complied, too tired and wanting nothing more than to knock out for the five hour flight. You put your head back on Shawn’s shoulder the second he sat down next to you on the plane, out cold for the entire ride.
---
Shawn Mendes Found His Soulmate? Everything You Need to Know About the New Couple.
What You Need to Know About Shawn Mendes’ Post Last Night.
Shawn Mendes Gets Cozy With His PA in Recent Instagram Post.
The headlines seemed to be never ending as they appeared on your phone. You could hear Shawn pacing in the other room and trying to explain to Andew what was happening. It was inevitable, you knew. But did it have to happen like this?
“Andrew, I don’t know what to tell you. It was an accident!” Shawn insisted, running a hand through his hair for the millionth time since the call started.
“Do you have any idea how bad this is, Shawn?” Andrew sighed on the other side of the line. “This is exactly what I told you was going to happen!”
Texts were blowing up your phone like crazy. All your friends were wondering since when Shawn Mendes was your soulmate and why you didn’t tell them earlier. That didn’t matter so much through as you realized that you were about to lose your job, and possibly Shawn.
“We’re soulmates, Andrew! What were we supposed to do? You said that she’d be fired if she was my soulmate. Y/N loves this job and she’s amazing at it. I didn’t want to lose her!”
You felt like you were going to throw up.
From what you could hear, the rest of the conversation didn’t go too well. Shawn sounded frustrated beyond belief as he tried to save your job and relationship, leaving you wondering if you would have either of those after today. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t hear him enter the living room and sit down next to you.
“Andrew wants to have a meeting in an hour,” he sighed. You bit your lip, trying to hold back tears as you stared at the ground.
“I’m getting fired, aren’t I?” you asked.
“I have no idea, honestly. I’m not sure how much authority I have over that.” He put his head in his hands. The uncertainty of the future was killing both of you.
“Should we just break up?”
Your voice was so quiet but Shawn heard the words loud and clear.
“What!?”
“We’re obviously going to get in a ton of trouble for this. What if Andrew says we have to end it? If this ends, I want it to be on my terms, not someone else’s.”
“Y/N, he can’t make us break up.”
“But what if this destroys your career? I wouldn’t be able to live with the fact that I was the reason you had to stop doing what you loved.”
“Y/N, you’re spiraling. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that I love more than you.”
“I just want you to be happy.” A single tear slipped down your face and Shawn wished he wasn’t the reason for it.
“You make me happy.”
You stared at each other for a moment before you threw yourself into his arms, latching on tight as sobs rang through your body. Shawn tucked his head into your neck, holding you tight and letting a few tears soak into your shirt.
“No matter what happens,” He pulled back to look directly into your eyes. “I will always love you. Nobody can make us end our relationship, okay? I don’t care if it ends my career, I will never want anything more than you.”
You nodded, not sure what else to say.
“Now, lets get yelled at by Andrew and tell him that this isn’t going to end.”
---
“Alright, let’s talk about this.” Andrew sat down across from you and Shawn, sounding calmer than he did an hour ago over the phone.
“Before you say anything, we’re not breaking up. I just wanna make that clear.” Shawn said, his thumb caressing your hand under the table.
“I’m not gonna make you break up. I just want to know why you didn’t tell me earlier.” His voice sounded strained, like he couldn’t believe that you would hide something like this from him for so long. “We could’ve prevented this whole squabble if you just told me earlier.”
“I didn’t want to lose my job,” you said. “I agreed that I wouldn’t be romantically involved with Shawn when you hired me and I broke that agreement on the first day.”
“The first day?” Andrew leaned forward in his seat.
“Yeah, we uh . . . we found out that night.”
“If I’m being honest, I’ve pretty much known for a while,” Andrew confessed. “I was waiting for one of you to tell me though. I didn’t want to pressure you.”
“But you said she could get fired-”
“I said that firing her could possibly be on the table, depending on the situation. Y/N’s a great team member and I know your relationship isn’t going to get in the way of her doing her job. I figured that if you were trying to keep it a secret for so long, you didn’t want anyone to know.”
“You knew the whole time?” Shawn leaned back in his chair, feeling a lot more relaxed now that he knew your job was safe.
“You guys were subtle but you weren’t that subtle. I pieced it together pretty quickly.”
“So I’m not getting fired?”
“No, I’m not going to fire you.”
You breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was a-okay. “Thank you, Andrew. Really, thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“No need to thank me. Your work speaks for itself.” Andrew smiled and for the first time in a long time, you felt at ease. You didn’t have to hide anything anymore. “However, we do have to deal with this situation you two have created.”
---
“Ready?” Shawn asked, his thumb hovering over the “post” button.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” you smiled. A year of hiding your relationship from everyone you knew and you were finally going to share it with the world.
“Let’s do this.” He pressed the button and just like that, the picture was up.
shawnmendes "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." -Dr. Seuss
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#Shawn Mendes#Shawn Mendes fic#Shawn Mendes fanfic#Shawn Mendes fanfiction#Shawn Mendes imagines#Shawn Mendes blurbs#Shawn Mendes one shots#Shawn Mendes writing#Shawn Mendes au#Shawn Mendes soulmates au#Soulmate!Shawn#Caring!Shawn#Boyfriend!Shawn#Shawn Mendes x reader#Shawn Mendes x Y/N#Shawn Mendes x you#Y/N#Reader insert#Shawn Mendes fluff#Shawn Mendes angst
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it's fun to be angry
Honestly I'm always surprised by the Before the Storm game stats. So many people don't seem to play Chloe as angry, choosing to be nicer to Joyce and David. Chloe has every right to be angry at them, and it's fun playing a game where I feel free to just let out my feelings. I'm more like Max in personality in RL, so it's nice to have a character that isn't scared to just say how she feels.
So I'm always surprised so many people play it safer, as opposed to just letting loose. Like 90 percent of people accept Davd's photograph? I get it's a touching story he shares with that photograph, but his treatment of Chloe... I am Chloe as I play and I resent him for trying to be my 'new dad' when I had a perfectly good dad. Playing Lis and Farewell and seeing what William was like and then seeing what David is like... it actually makes my blood boil as Chloe.
There is nothing about David that is like William. William treated Chloe like an equal and was so loving and funny. There is no way in hell he would treat Chloe how David does, and she knows it. Even if she was going through other struggles, William would NEVER. There are so many times where David says shit that really insults William, like how she's had a long enough vacation from having a father figure, or how she can finally learn what a stable home is like with him moving in. I'm sorry, but all that shit piles up and makes me ANGRY.
And that's what makes me, as Chloe, angry at Joyce. It's so betraying, having my mom let this piece of shit treat me like I'm garbage. Allowing it. Condoning it. Welcoming him into our home, letting him move in, stuffing family photos in drawers and in the garage.
Joyce always makes everything about HER. She doesn't understand why Chloe is hurting, and instead of trying to work on their relationship she makes David her priority. Given the situation it would have been better to hold off on David moving in and working on one on one time with Chloe and focusing on HER. But she doesn't. And yes, Joyce has a right to move on, but Chloe is a teenager and the loss of her dad is still very real and present. Chloe's behaviour and bad school grades come from grief and pain, but Joyce just treats Chloe like she has no clue why Chloe acts how she does and like it's one big personal attack on her. Which just hurts Chloe more.
How can she not see how I'm hurting and not get why? Joyce treats Chloe how Blackwell does - like she should be over her dad's death and doing well in school. She even makes a comment about how 'it's good your father still has a place in your heart' and it's like still? of course he still does and always will...
I do sympathize with Joyce and David. They were trying their best, and we see in Lis2 how much David changes, and how he and Chloe make peace and have a good relationship (the fact he calls her SWEETIE in the phone call) but this game is about 16 year old Chloe and I love getting into her headspace and it is just so fun to just be angry. So I make a lot of angry choices. And it feels freeing. So I'm not nice to Joyce, I am not nice to David, fuck him, fuck his attempt at a peace offering, fuck him.
It hurts so much mom lets him treat me like shit, acts like it's all fine, doesn't care about my feelings... tries to force me to like him. I think it's a very relatable teen experience to have your mom take everything as a personal attack and refuse to let you express yourself. At least, for me, and I do have a good relationship with my mom but I couldn't argue with her cause she was right and I was wrong. And it's so infuriating to be on the receiving end of that. Chloe's feelings on David aren't allowed - Joyce is right, Chloe is wrong, and not letting your teen's feelings be valid is really hurtful in ways hard to put into words.
For example in epi 3 I had my Chloe wish Joyce a happy mother's day. She loves her mom and wants things to be better, but then Joyce tries to force her to talk to David when she clearly doesn't want too and it all just ends with my Chloe rejecting David's peace offering. Chloe clearly wants to bond with her mom again, but being forced to interact with David sets her off. It would have benefitted their relationship again if Joyce put things on hold with David to focus on Chloe. But I get that's unfair to her too, but she's the adult and Chloe is a teenager and Chloe really needed one on one time with her mom. She needed her mom not to attack (like about her grades or skipping) and focus on mending their bond. But her forcing David into things triggers Chloe and puts so much more distance between them.
Notice too how in their scenes, Joyce constantly forces David into the conversation. She can't let it just be about them, she has to insert David. I know she's trying to get Chloe to warm up to him by doing this, but it just alienates Chloe from her.
I know I'll pick the bae ending and from Lis2 I know he and Chloe will make peace. With Joyce it's harder, because I know we don't get to make peace. But in the end, Joyce knows Chloe loves her (from convos you can have with her with Max)
But today is not that day I say as I replay BTS.
Not today Satan!
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