#i have adhd and a shitty memory

[aladaylessecondblog]

Note to self so I don't forget for next Gortav chapter:

Tav attending her last ball before pregnancy confinement

One single dance with Cazador

it's full of threats

Tav not being frightened at all

'You don't own me' or something

'i could'

#i have adhd and a shitty memory #tavs contentment with her “imperfections” annoys him #imagine gortash hearing about this later #surprising himself with the amount of ABSOLUTELY NOT he feels #gortash #gortash x tav #good tav x gortash #gortav #bg3 gortash #bg3 tav #drow tav #tav #gortash bg3 #lord gortash #enver gortash

[thestarkster1465]

Haven't been following the James Somerton drama closely but it's become so ridiculous that it's funny

Is no one going to talk about the fact that he said that he thought it was okay for him to mention Vito Russo in the opening credits and then never mention him again because his book was out of print and Russo was dead....

And then in the same breath say that he was 'extending Russo's legacy' like my brother in Christ do you even hear yourself-

#hbomberguy #james somerton #vito russo #the celluloid closet #like lmao wtf #also the reason he plagiarized was because uh *clears throat* #he is ADHD and his mom had cancer and then she died and his father was grieving and he has epilepsy and memory issues and ajdjkdkskakskhdh #sorry my brain fizzled out #not saying thag life isn't harder because of all these things #BUT NONE OF THEM MADE YOU A SHITTY PERSON JAMES #THAT WAS ALL YOU. YOUR FAULT. #also apparently the other reason he took words from smaller queer creators was because people would listen to him as a cis white man #and not to them #fuck you james #hes so pathetic its funny #but then i remember how many people he has hurt #oh by the way edited versions of his videos are back up because nick should have his own portfolio #sure james sure #its all for nick

[blue-b-bro]

As someone with a shitty memory (because of adhd and/or covid and/or not doing enough crosswords) I've started to really appreciate the stories where characters lost their memories or part of it and actually don't recover them. And it's ok

#Yeah I feel seen while watching finding dory #I mean this shitty memory part not the recalling her parents #Because I too have bad short term memory #Adhd #Mine #writing

[druckkugelschreiber]

Things that make your memory worse: ADHD, depression, autistic burnout, trauma, suppressing our emotions

Me who does/ has all of those: fuck

#yes i have shitty memory #yes it sucks #especially depression and autistic burnout took so much from me #can’t remember shit #schreibers life #actually autistic #adhd #Depression #trauma #autistic burnout #memory loss

[possibly-eli]

i dont understand what about this is so difficult for people to comprehend:

i just kinda want my thoughts on opinions on MY OWN HEALTH to be entertained instead of immediately disregarded

like. im 17. i shouldnt be having back pain so often. i shouldnt be having such severe leg pain. i shouldnt be dealing with such shitty hand joints. but FUCK ME i guess i dont get a say in jack SHIT about my own health!!!!! because what i say means fuck all!!!!! ok man!!!! whatever i guess!!!!!!!

#its shit like THIS that makes me TERRIFIED to bring shit up to my therapist #i cant tell her if i have an idea on what might be wrong with me because shell probably just NOT LISTEN TO ME #because thats what my LAST therapist did #and what my mother CONSTANTLY DOES #FUCK #this is why i have to self-diagnose by the fucking way #not that its any of your goddamn business what we do and why #its because of Trauma and Stigma and the fact we already Have autism so apparently. according to The Law or something #that means i cant be mentally ill in any Other way #so i GUESS ill go Fuck myself and have to deal with only being self-diagnosed with adhd. and atypical depression #and c-ptsd. for the rest of my life #and not get any treatment for anything despite it directly impacting my quality of life #and maybe being connected to my shitty memory issues #but lmaoooo that doesnt matter lol lmao rofl fuck this guy this guy doesnt know what hes talking about #how could any mentally ill person have an idea on whats wrong with them Thats Not How It Works #did i mention that that was a mindset i had btw #i dunno where i picked it up but probably from my parents #“a mentally ill person doesnt know theyre mentally ill” thats the stupidest shit ive heard in my life #also im not going to debate the validity of my mental illness with you #i have npd. that is a fact because of LITERALLY. FUCKING EVERTHING #im just not pursuing a Professional Diagnosis at this time because it wont do anything for me and itll be more trouble than its worth #and if i have my knowledge on That questioned i might Actually kill myself

[indescriptequilibrium]

🗣️📢 PIECE OF SUSHI = ~7 GRAMS OF CARBS‼️ NOT 15 GRAMS LIKE I THOUGHT FOR SOME GODAWFUL REASON‼️🔥

#postin dis so i'll rember =_= i hate this disease why i gotta have da fn nutritional content of EVERYTHIN MEMORIZED IN MY SHITTY ADHD MEMORY

[misteria247]

Trying to find my Christmas shirts for work cuz we're allowed to wear them now with our uniform pants and I'm definitely gonna take advantage of it and I can't remember where I put them rip me and my dumbass brain can't remember shit 😭

#oli talks #ooc #muns ramblings #mindless ramblings of a madman #the struggles of adhd and asperger's syndrome combined it's a fucking nightmare I stg #like shitty memory??? is even worse than it should be???? can't ever have any peace anymore I stg

[thebeautifulfantastic]

.

#i usually do everything in my power to Not think like this but i have to get it out of my head #there have been so many times recently where i think about my acting and my life goals and i just. want to give it all up #i am so tired and i have these moments of incredible hopelessness #and i feel like nothing has ever worked out for me & i’ve always had terrible timing with reaching my goals… #i think about even the one big goal that i HAVE lived and achieved through hard work (last year’s internship that i’ve mentioned a couple ti #times on here) gave some incredible memories but it also wreaked havoc on my mental health and my studies #now i’m burned out a lot of the time. i have undiagnosed adhd and probably autism as well — which i would never use as an excuse for not bei #being able to do something but it is HARD because my mom won’t believe that I’m neurodivergent #and it is difficult to be productive #Also Christmastime always makes me sad so there’s that #but point is. sometimes i want to give up #and i have never been someone to quit on my dreams so i feel pretty shitty for even entertaining the idea #i know that acting and every other art form that i love is what i WANT and i can’t think of much else that would make me happy #but sometimes i am just so tired i… don’t even want to try anymore #disappointment and the fear of more disappointment just becomes too much #i just want to get away from my past and start over #belle speaks #stories of my life #adventures in showbiz

[unclerippuascension]

fusion reborn sure was a fucking movie i watched, that had scenes and moments i think i enjoyed??

#dbz #like i was thinking 'wow this janemba guy has a design that fucks. maybe i'll watch his movie' #and then i did #and i was excited when frieza and the ginyus showed up... for like less than a minute #then the cartoon nazis showed up and i fully realized that this movie is not in the mood to do anything coherent or normal #i dont think koyama was having a thinking day when he thought of this one im gonna be honest #its like trying to remember a movie you saw when you were 8 #but you have autism/adhd and a shitty memory so your brain just barfs out random nonsensical scenes with no through-line #but i mean janemba was hot in his final form and thats all i expected so it technically met my expectations! I guess!

[capetowncapers]

Being in your 20s means things like realizing you can get yourself a cute gamer girl keyboard and it will likely qualify as a tax write off bc it’s technically a work expense to reduce the strain of typing on your wrists.

#like that is literally why I’m buying it actually #my shitty hands and wrists strike again #i already have one of those nice memory foam gel wrist rests that I’ll set up with the keyboard once I pick one and order it #I’m stupidly excited bc I know the clicky noise will help stimulate my adhd brain so I can feel productive #cape town rambles

[papus-clown-enclosure]

Ramblings bc i need

Like 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Soooo ive notice my ability to speak....i think its gotten worse??? Well it wasnt bad b4 but its certainly almost like declined. And i joke about not making sense to ppl but like damn. Also i think my accent has gotten stronger.

Is it bc i have gone years not talking to ppl at school unless spoken to or bc i have to???? Bc i stutter a lot and/or the words come out wrong or i mess the word up.(so basically i spent a lot of time just being silent. Tho i speak more in general bc i interact a lot with the youngest tho but i tend to use a mix of english and spanish with him which in turn lead me to doing the same with the middle child. My words seem fine aparently with the youngest tho.)

Like???? Isnt the loneliness enough???? But its got to impact how i speak english??? Idk about spanish tho. And i've been speaking english since maybe preschool.(cause immigrant parents)

Maybe i just need to talk more. But i ramble a lot at home but when i have i not rambled i go off tangent.

(The few ppl who could keep up witht the confusing ramblings was unfortunately my moms sister the she devil)

#its so frustrating #bc i notice i fuck up words when speaking to the middle child #like i dont stutter around him or rarely #and hes used to me #but like i was trying to answer carol bc she asked what i missed and i was cringing at how i talk #also bc im the worst person to ask in general as i have a shitty memory due to adhd #i did my best tho #long post #papuka rambles

[slightofsighted]

People always say that they can talk for hours about something they like as if that impressive. I could talk about anything for multiple hours or even days. How much could I say however? That might be different

#funny #talk #adhd #? #I begin to go in loops after like 4 hours #but can you blame me #I have a shitty memory #talking #anything is a special interest if your interested in everything #yet somehow I still bombed my speech at academic decathlon

[onlydigressing]

tiktoks and instagram reals are great and also the bane of my existence. they take the BEST PART of a song and put it into a VERY SHORT and digestible format so that my brain CRAVES hearing that SPECIFIC PART OF THE SONG OVER AND OVER

and listening to the actual song doesn’t satisfy that itch because it’s not that EXACT PIECE

#ummmmmm #so my mom said that i was on social media too much if I started thinking that I might have adhd or anything from instagram #and she totally has a point #but i still think i’m an odd duck #so now i just call it swiss cheese brain #because it feels like i have holes in my brain #missing vital sections #so i have a shitty memory and really bad procrastination #among other things #just me? #ok

[copperbadge]

Every so often I get an Anon ask where I'm not entirely comfortable responding in public with no cut or warnings ahead of the text -- it's not that anything inappropriate is being said, it's just sometimes the subject matter's a little rough. This is one of those, so I decided to copy and paste it and put it behind a cut; warnings for discussion of abuse and fraught familial situations.

You've spoken about having ADHD before, and i was wondering if you have any links to websites with resources for adults with ADHD that are more than the very generic "stay organised!", "eat healthily!", "avoid distractions!" things? like, something that explains ADHD and WHY getting organised is good, maybe? or how ADHD may intersect with anxiety? my mother finally went to a doctor and got (as i expected) an ADHD diagnosis, but the doctor told her medication wouldn't give her much at this point, which is fine, but she's just kept going as usual for her, which is not.

she has ignored everything i've told her before (like, to think ahead and prioritise, to make plans, to make lists, that she has to be systematic about it, to stay calm because if she has a plan everything should be done on time) but she ignores me. she just starts doing whatever, whenever, and then getting annoyed/anxious that "nothing" is done, and then she starts yelling at me.

i just want her to realise she MUST at least attempt to be organised, and that it's not just for work stuff, it's for everything, including every day stuff like chores. (also, i'd like to stop being yelled at. like, some of my first memories are of getting yelled at. it's been years and years of regular bouts of screaming. now i know it's her and not me, and i'd. like it to stop)

i apologize for the huge ask/rant, but yeah, do you know of any resources that explain the importance of being organised? i think if i show her something 'official' maybe she'll start doing it. or do you have any personal tips for talking to her about it? or a book about someone's experience with ADHD? anything. anything at all.

So there is...much to unpack here, as the kids say, both in terms of what you are asking directly and what you are not asking but what I'm going to address anyway. I don't have any great resources for what you're looking for, because neurodiversity comes in a lot of shapes and sizes even within a single diagnosis, and as you likely know I'm a big proponent of doing-what-works, and that's something a person has to figure out for themselves. A lot of people seem to find ADDitude very relatable and they are informative, but that's probably the best general resource out there to go deeper than surface, and a good place for her to start reading if she wants to.

But the real problem, Anon, is that she's never going to listen to you.

That seems like a real bold statement, but it is also extremely likely to be true. Most people who get a diagnosis start to work on themselves and learn more about their unique neurology; it's clear she's not going to do that, and you can't make her. I'm sure some of it is that she's been told her entire life, by people with much more power over her than you, to do those things: be organized, make lists, have a plan. They are the hardest things for people with ADHD to do, and she can't simply whip herself through them, and so she learned long ago to ignore anyone saying anything about it. Medication could help with that a lot, actually, so your mother's doctor really fucked you both by telling her it wouldn't do anything for her; whether she's taken that as permission to ignore the problem or whether she just believed him, he did a really shitty thing in doing that.

Your mother is neurologically incapable of forcing herself to do many things that neurotypical people find easy. There are workarounds, yes; some of us do extremely well if we decide that EVERYTHING has to be planned, and behave accordingly. Some of us find stopgaps. But that has to be a decision she makes, to find workarounds for herself. It's not something you can offer her with helpful websites or books, because she is also likely very deep in shame about it, to judge from her other behaviors. That's not your fault, which means it's also not your job to fix it.

And here's the other problem: you are in an abusive home situation where your mother is taking out her frustration with her mental illness by hurting you.

And that really really sucks and I'm really, really sorry. But the screaming-at-you, which absolutely should not be happening, is a result of decades of frustration at the world that won't accommodate her, combined with an inability to regulate her emotions. Unless she is medicated or learns better regulation or at least picks a different target, it's not going to stop. That's not your fault either. Some of it isn't even her fault. (Some of it is; mental illness is not our choice but it is our responsibility, and she is not behaving as either an adult or a parent should in abusing you because she can't find somewhere else to put all her emotions.)

Presumably you are either too young to leave or can't afford to, but the best possible thing you can do for yourself is get out as soon as you can, sever yourself from her financially, and then decide what level of interaction you want with her going forward. Honestly, may be the best thing for her as well, to realize that if she doesn't make a change, she will lose access to her child.

I realize that is almost certainly not immediately possible, however. Do not leave if you are going to a less safe situation, either. Be smart and strategic -- make your plans and prepare as much as possible ahead of time.

"So in the meantime, Sam, what the fuck am I supposed to do?"

Bearing in mind that we are going to assume you cannot help your mother, as she either doesn't want help or is in denial or both, the best thing you can do if you can't get out is to shore yourself up: remind yourself as regularly as possible that none of this is your fault, and do your best to protect yourself both emotionally and physically. IE, if she's not organized enough to buy groceries or cook, do what you can to make sure you are regularly fed -- do not concern yourself with whether she eats. That's her responsibility, she's a grownup. If you are likely to be yelled at for this -- well, she was always going to yell at you about something; it might as well be as a result of you caring for yourself first. As much as you can, spend time away from her if possible.

Given her past behavior, especially if you are an only child or oldest sibling, you may already be de-facto head of household; this may be simply a process of assuming actively that she can't fulfill that role, and doing what you can to care for yourself and any siblings. If you have other family who understand the situation, I strongly suggest tapping them for help. As much as you can, reach out to adults in your life you trust, and get their help in caring for yourself and your family without needing to depend on her for support.

I don't wish to stigmatize mental illness or addiction but living with someone in denial about the impact of their mental health on those around them is exactly like living with an addict: the best strategy is to expect nothing from them, remind yourself often that you are not to blame for this situation, look out for yourself first and foremost, and get out once you can. I'm really sorry it has to be that way, because it shouldn't be. But I'm concerned with you, not with her, and if you want to build a better life for yourself, it's going to have to be one that doesn't depend on you being able to change someone else.

I'm afraid I don't have a lot of books for you about that, either. I wish you all the luck -- you shouldn't need it, but unfortunately sometimes we still do.

#sam has adhd #mental health #abuse #toxic family

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for voice recording my piano lessons for future reference?

(🎹 for reference)

okay so. i (13F) have undiagnosed but almost certain adhd. naturally, my brain gets a little spotty when it comes to learning and trying to recall things when i need to rack my brain for them. this is most common with my piano lessons. it’s sort of helped by a manuscript book that has my things to work on for the week and notes that i’ve made on the pages for my pieces. however, some weeks have nothing written for them so i have to go back and fill them in.

hence the whole point of this ask.

i’ve done this since last year, when the first time i did this i had a recital coming up the week after and i was super anxious about perfecting the piece so i voice recorded the lesson so i could clearly remember everything that i was messing up on and little tweaks here and there on some spots. after that lesson i recorded them sporadically, mostly relying on the week’s notes and my somewhat shitty memory. i’ve picked it up again more consistently these last few months, just as a precaution in case both of those don’t really help me much. my dad is aware of this since he’s the one that takes me and my brother to piano. however, i haven’t really acknowledged this to my teacher at all which is kind of why i’m asking this in the first place. he’s generally a nice guy so i think he would understand where i’m coming from if i told him about it.

not sure if i really need to include this but all of the voice memos are never shared and i don’t really have a use for them other than learning purposes.

tl;dr: i voice record my piano lessons each week as a reference for what to work on. dad knows, teacher doesn’t. wondering if i’m in the wrong for this.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[jorisjurgen]

I'M CRAZY. I'M CRAZY. I'M INSANE.

Ok so firstly, we all know that Kerubim and Atcham and Ush keep their memories of past lives. It's kind of silly to assume otherwise considering it's canon, and has been canon for years. (I say in the voice that implies i've been in 5 twitter fights about this with people who don't know about dofus MMO ecaflip lore.)

But i WAS afraid they'd keep it ambiguous for casual fans, by having Atch and Keke call Joris "dad" all the time again. I'm glad they're utilizing more of Joris's petnames besides "dad" this time around.

BUT I DID NOT EXPECT THEM TO CALL JORIS "JOJO", LIKE IN THE PAST? Especially when he expressed that he's too "grown up" for it in the movie. I guess Joris came around to it eventually?

Kerubim says it so protectively. He loves his son so much. I can't do this anymore.,..

Just... somethingsomething... the inherent tragedy of living with your parents for 600 years of codependency, them using all the same childish petnames they've always used for you, and living in the same exact childhood room. While being an adult man.

He can't leave the nest. He's grown into the nest, and now it's a part of him and his innards. He'll never be free.

On a less serious note JORIS PLUSHIE ENJOYER AGENDA IS REAL?!??!? HE DOES LOVE PLUSHES?!?!? HE HAS MULTIPLE OF THEM IN HIS SHITTY MESSY ADHD-NEST OF A BEDROOM. LMAO. ALSO THE MULTIPLE PILLOWS. I CAN'T.

idk how fandom still takes his "ough im so uptight, im so Cool and serious" façade so seriously still. He's worn a cute apron in the manga. He said "yugo me and my family can't stop losing dofus. you HAVE to take it from me." in the ova. he broke into ush's home to free his torture victims in the remington comic and said "Okie dokie" to them as he was freeing them. He was late to the battle with Nox. He is NOT a cool or serious guy. He's a messy dumb bitch with a very well-maintained façade of coolness at best.

..This is so unserious, i can't.

#s4 spoilers #wakfu spoilers #season 4 spoilers #spoilers #wakfu #joris jurgen #ush galesh #kerubim crepin #atcham crepin #crepinposting #krosmoz