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#i feel like the most even human on the planet :) even though i 100% made the right decision
lumiereandcogsworth · 11 months
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autistic people-pleasers when they have to say “no” to things in order to advocate for their needs
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doverstar · 2 months
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THERE WAS NO OTHER ENDING FOR ROSE and ya know what, I like to think the doctor thinks so too
I think he does too! I’m gonna talk about it, are you ready for me to talk about it? Are you ready for an essay-
I think the Doctor would agree that the ending Rose got—the one with Tentoo on Pete’s World—was the best possible fate for her. I’ll explain why, because I feel like it. First I’ll break down Rose’s most popular alternative-endings. Let’s start with Rose-stays-with-him-until-she-dies. That’s the one Rose decided on long before Canary Wharf. She planned on staying with the Time Lord until she physically couldn’t anymore. Forever.
First of all, that would be painful for the Doctor. He already said it. Watching Rose get shot, drowned, stabbed, sucked into a black hole, sacrificed for a remote planet’s civilization, poisoned, pulled into a void, atomized, eaten, possessed, run over, diseased, or ripped apart would be traumatic and terrible for the Doctor.
Watching Rose grow old and tired and then die would also be incredibly painful. He might try to prolong her life in alien ways, even in medical ways, but then she’s subjected to an unnatural, un-human existence until death claims her. Making a naturally-decaying body stick around and eke out another year, another hour, another century while he watches, exactly the same as ever. Yikes. Not fun for either of them. No thank you. He was against that ending with good reason.
Now, this ending where Rose stays with him until she dies? It is no less an emotional commitment to make than the one every married couple on Earth, every affectionate relationship on Earth, makes. Friends, family, spouses. You will lose them. You have to decide to love them knowing that.
The Doctor does love Rose, but he can’t tell her or admit it aloud because to do that would be facing a reality he’s not willing to face: he loves something he will inevitably lose. The old coward will not do it.
I believe that if Rose wanted to stay with him until she died, knowing she has a shorter lifespan but committing to holding his hand until she could not hold it anymore because he needs that and she can give it to him, and she knows he loves her back—100% yes girl, go for it. That is good and right and fine and she should be allowed to make that commitment. That’s love. That’s literal marriage vows. That’s unconditional, unwavering, and Rose is the first companion in 60 years of TARDIS passengers to love him like that. And he knows it. And it’s scary. But. Even in marriage, that is a commitment that has to be agreed upon by both parties. And the Doctor did not agree. The Doctor, selfish old man, is too afraid. He doesn’t want to watch Rose die, and he tried to explain that to her without confessing anything, and she heard him and tried to explain to him that she decided he would always have her if she had anything to say about it, not for her sake, but for his. (“Who’s gonna hold his hand now?” “I made my choice a long time ago and I’m never gonna leave you.” “Forever.”)
Now. That’s the first option for an alternate ending for Rose. She stays with him as a mortal and he has to watch her die, and they either dance around expressing their love in an unspoken, inexplicit way until he loses her and it’s agony, or they jump in with both feet and enjoy the time they have left, however many days Rose has before death, with the knowledge and understanding that he will outlive her, which is agony but with kissing. Still not 100% happy because one of them is, well, in agony. With a significantly long life stretched out ahead of him to spend as a widower. And it would fundamentally change the nature of a 60-year-old television show, but that’s another Ask for another time. Next is the Immortal!Rose AU, or the Bad Wolf AU. Personally, I don’t care for this AU (though I get the appeal and I do sometimes wish it could be that way). I used to think it was a good idea, and sometimes it's still sweet and I can see it, but the older I got, the more I disagreed with it. Because really, it doesn’t work. The AU’s idea—or its most popular explanation—is that Rose, by absorbing the Time Vortex and looking into the heart of the TARDIS in The Parting of the Ways, retained one slice of her godlike powers: she became immortal. Even after the Doctor kissed her and took the Vortex away to save her. The most-used version of this is that neither Rose nor the Doctor are aware that Rose was left with immortality until Tentoo ages and she doesn’t, or her family ages and she doesn’t.
The reason why I don’t think the Doctor would ultimately want this ending for Rose? The Doctor himself would not recommend immortality. He knows it’s ultimately a devastating existence. He himself has a ridiculously-long lifespan. Time Lords are supposed to only have a certain number of regenerations, but each regeneration, if left to age naturally, lives a long freaking time. (With the new Timeless Child nonsense, who knows, apparently the Doctor exclusively is immortal? I pretend I do not see it.) And then if they should die of old age, they regenerate and another chapter of life begins. So the Doctor knows what it’s like to essentially be immortal. And he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like watching his friends die around him. He doesn’t like knowing he will outlive the people and places he cares about. He hates it. “Immortality is everybody else dying.” “In the end you just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to dust.” That last line, the Lazarus speech, sounds familiar because it’s something similar, interestingly, to what Rose said when she was the Bad Wolf. “Everything comes to dust.” Immortality is not a blessing. Immortality is absolutely a curse, and the show treats it like a curse. It’s not just never dying. Immortality is being alone and being unnatural. It’s bad. It’s not a good thing. If you were a 100% perfect person with a 100% perfect memory, it might be doable, but it’s not an easy existence. It sounds awful actually. We saw it with Ashildr (terrible idea). She’s miserable. She never really stops being miserable. Think about this: the Doctor is (kind of) immortal. He never stays in one place for too long, and he is careful to bring along far more mortal traveling companions wherever he goes. The Doctor once told Amy that he brought her with him because he can’t “see it” anymore (meaning the universe and its value), but he brings Amy and others with him because they can see it. “And when you see it, I see it.” What is everyone always telling him? Don’t travel alone. Not because he’s lonely—even though he totally is. It’s because when he is alone, the Doctor becomes a hazard, not a help. He starts to feel like he can do whatever he wants. I mean, think about it. He starts to feel like his judgement is infallible, because he’s basically a god, isn’t he? But no one should have that much power. It takes a lot to kill him, he’s a genius, and he has a time-and-space machine. What can’t he do? After a long, long, long time of living and being alone, essentially in an echo chamber with himself, the Doctor would lose empathy and compassion and humility just like anyone else. Because he’s not perfect. But he brings friends along to remind him he can stop now. To remind him we don’t walk away. To remind him that the universe has life in it that is worth saving, and that there is such a thing as right and wrong, and that he is not God, and that there is no such thing as little people. 900 years of time and space and he’s never met anybody who wasn’t important before. He needs his friends to hold him to the mark.
So—the Doctor knows that being immortal basically means that in the end you’ll see everything come to dust. If you’re not careful, you won’t be you anymore. And nothing and no one else will be themselves to you, either. You will lose the people/places you care about, and you will be alone, and you will stop caring. And then not only will you be wretched, you’ll be dangerous. Someone who doesn’t care is dangerous. It’s Ted Bundy. It’s evil. But it’s okay, I hear you saying. If they had each other, he would always have someone to hold him to the mark! Well - yes and then no - Think about Rose. Rose Tyler is a young human woman with so much empathy and sympathy. She is “so human”, in the Doctor’s own words. She is imperfect, and selfish, and petty, and easily angry and easily jealous. She is also impossibly compassionate, even towards the most ruthless murderous species. She’s kind and generous and brave and has a strong sense of justice. She’s often very selfless and very loving. Especially toward the Doctor. She values doing the right thing. A lot of those traits are found in the Doctor’s other friends (he chooses them with great care). But Rose is different. The Doctor is in love with Rose. And Rose is a lot of ‘firsts’ for Doctor Who. She’s the first companion to inspire change in a Dalek. She’s the first companion to tell him she’s in love with him. (Jo loved him, Sarah Jane loved him, Grace loved him, yes I know there were others.) She’s the first companion to be a real, proper onscreen equal to the Doctor, and not in a She’s Basically the Doctor But A Girl way, like Clara Oswald tried to be. She is not his assistant, his carer, his associate, his sidekick, his adoptive daughter, adoptive little sister, biological granddaughter, or his partner. Not to be Emily Bronte, but these two characters have the same heart. Like recognized like and fell in love. Perfect complementation. That is also another Ask for another time –
RTD said that Rose “humans [the Doctor] and he Time Lords her”. He brings out the courage and confidence in her that makes her so exceptional as a human, things that turn her into a hero, things she already had in her that the Doctor pulled forward. In turn, she brings out the compassion and humility in him that makes him a hero instead of a villain, things he always had in him that she pulled forward, adding humanity which would otherwise be easy for him to cast off.
But she can’t human him if she isn’t human anymore.
The things that make Rose an exceptional mortal would no longer be exceptional if she were immortal. The good traits would be a duty to retain, and the bad traits would be a poison to keep at bay. Because Rose is on a different level when it comes to her relationship with the Doctor, she could, for a time, help hold him to the mark. They would be exactly as we saw them in the show—passing by, helping out, saving the day, loving one another, making one another better. And then after eons go by, they would be each other’s echo chamber. Rose is the Doctor’s equal? Given eternity to stagnate in, what was once a strength would quickly become a weakness. Rose is not perfect and the Doctor is not perfect. Rose would not always be able to “see it” anymore either, even with the Doctor there. Same goes for him. They might be together forever, but Rose would be watching her mother, father, brother, friends, and family all age and die. She would hate that. But it would be okay because she has the Doctor, right? I agree with that. They have one another. So they’re never alone. That’s good. But Rose would not be a Time Lord. She’d be an immortal human. Ashildr 2.0, finite memory in an infinite body. She’d become detached, unable to appreciate the universe, and she’d stop investing in mortal relationships because they all end eventually. All she’d have would be the Doctor—and that’s wonderful, but after a while it would stop being a special thing that they have one another. Don’t look at me like that; it would. Okay, no – no - even if the Bad Wolf powers allowed Rose to have an infinite memory to go with her infinite body, fine, let’s say they did, she and the Doctor would still end up with “a backyard” as Eleven called it.
And eventually they would both think that the two of them, together, have the best judgement in the universe and should be treated as gods, and they will stop caring (except about each other, which doesn’t sound good for all the little people who are not part of that relationship, can you say unhealthy?). Or else they will become enemies, the way the Master and the Doctor became enemies. Or they won’t be able to travel with one another indefinitely, the way Ashildr, the Rani, River, Clara, and Romana can’t travel with the Doctor indefinitely. Because it would become toxic for everyone. And they would be back to being miserable, wouldn’t they?
(And – again -  let me finish beating this tiny horse here: if you think Rose Tyler would heal fairly quickly - say, ten centuries in - and warm up to the reality that she has outlived other humans because she is really no longer human, we aren’t thinking of the same Rose Tyler.)
The Doctor would not wish the curse of the Time Lords on anybody, especially not the woman he loves. He would not agree that immortality is the happiest ending for Rose, or even for himself and Rose. There’s a very real chance that immortality would ruin Rose. He wouldn’t do that to her. He loves her.
And here we go, here’s my freaking point - The Doctor loves Rose. So he would give her what she wants, even if it means sacrificing what he wants. Putting her needs before his own. That’s love. She knows that; she was trying to do that for him the whole time!
But what does Rose want? Adventure in the great wide somewhere? No. Rose wants love. Rose wants the assurance of real, true love. Rose wants to love and be loved. And when she finds that, she is darn good at it, and she will do her best to keep it. AND THAT IS ANOTHER ASK FOR ANOTHER TIME, HOOOO BOY DON’T POKE ME- The Doctor cannot give Rose what she wants using himself, or even the thing that will make him happy too, for a time—because to outlive her would be absolutely terrible, and they both know it, and because he will not put her through the curse of immortality. (She doesn’t want to live forever anyway.)
But he can give her what she wants in the form of Tentoo. Are you kidding me? A 100% exact copy of the Doctor? The same face, same mannerisms, same hair? All the memories of loving her and longing for her in his head? And he only has one heart? He’ll grow old at the same time as Rose does? Plus, hi, he actually was born in mini wartime and needs the very influence Rose provided for his ninth self? Come on. What else was he going to do? Of course the Doctor and Tentoo gave her this chance. When Rose asks him “What was the last thing you said to me?” The Doctor could have said “I love you”. He was going to say it. It is canon that he was going to say that he loved her if the connection hadn’t been severed the first time. And for him to say it then, they both knew, would have been all Rose needed to hear. She would have gone with him and Donna and died. Or gone with him and Donna and become immortal somehow, hey I hear there are these random Mire repair kits kicking around out there in the universe, they make people immortal, funny we never saw them before now, I hate you Moffat- But he didn’t say it. He said “I said ‘Rose Tyler’.” And she gives him one more chance to say it. “How was that sentence gonna end?” “Does it need saying?” Well, no, it doesn’t. We’re not asking you to confirm it. She’s not asking you to confirm it. It never needed saying. You both knew it was love. We knew it was love. A hundred times over, it was love on display.
But she is asking him to make a choice—and he chooses to let her go because he loves her.
It’s not a question of love. They give each other a chance, both of them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking Rose had no choice. She asked both of those Doctors to tell her they loved her, and she chose the one that said it out loud, after learning her options. She learned one of them would grow old and was offering to spend forever with her if she wanted. She learned that one of them was genuinely choosing not to say he loved her on purpose.  She made an informed decision. (Yes, she ran after the TARDIS when it left. Wouldn’t you?) The Doctor would agree that Tentoo is the best ending for Rose. Tentoo would agree (because he is the Doctor, and bonus, he gets to have Rose Tyler). Because this, this ending where she gets Tentoo, which is our fancy term for differentiating between two versions of exactly the same man, don’t go there with me-
This ending where she gets Tentoo is genuinely what she always wanted. She didn’t want to live forever. She didn’t want a boring life, but she didn’t desperately want adventure over all else. She wanted love. That’s an adventure anyway. Love. And she loved the Doctor. And she got to have the Doctor, and not lose him, or watch him lose her. And the Doctor, our full Time Lord Doctor, had the assurance of knowing that he did the best he could do for the woman he loved.
(Plus, because yes please, in an official deleted scene which has been confirmed to be intended as canon, Tentoo and Rose have a chunk of TARDIS coral and are growing their own, so they get to see the universe too, so you can’t even complain that all is not as it should be in that sense.) It is sad, because the full Time Lord has to carry on without her (that’s how the story always goes for him, and it should be because without loving and losing, an immortal alien will not have the periodic wake-up call he needs to remember that there is value in people and in relationships and in caring), and it’s sad because Rose won’t see him again, and it’s sad because we won’t really see Rose again. But for her, it is the best ending. It is the kindest, fairest ending. And I think the Doctor would agree.
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thinking about clara telling 12 he made courtney feel not special and 12 at the end of the lie of the land telling bill “because in amongst seven billion, theres someone like you” and bill looking like
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and 11 telling rita in the god complex "offer a child a suitcase full of sweets and they’ll take it. offer someone all of time and space and they’ll take that too. which is why you shouldnt” in that fucking self-flagellating but also proud way they do and rita says “i dont know what youre talking about but whatever it is, i have a feeling you just did it again” because they did
they know they know they know what they do and clara didnt have to tell them theyve been doing this long enough they know. and they dont like it but theyre not gonna stop doing it either which must be Great for the self-worth feelings. they have a job to do and they cant stop doing it but they also cant do it alone but also anyone they take with them will most likely get hurt or die
this is nothing new but it’s just. im thinking about the way they do it. the way they absolutely know the effect they have on people. “you make people want to impress you. you make it so they dont want to let you down”
how casually 12 throws out that line, so genuine, i 100% believe it feels true when they say stuff like that, but also bill just had a Bad 6 months. he didnt have to say this. bill asked why he puts up with humans he could say something nice about humanity as a whole, but he doesnt, he singles her out, “i put up with the rest of them because sometimes theres someone like you”. it’s sweet and i dont think it’s a lie and i dont even think it’s a conscious manipulation but like
it’s just like, a really good way to keep people with you when you make them feel like theyre at the centre of the universe like that. the universe revolves around the doctor and when youre in the eye of the storm with them youre so special. you know more than regular people, you get to know all the secrets of the universe, you get to know about aliens, you get to play hero along with them!
ROSE: I can't tell her. I can't even begin. She's never going to forgive me. And I missed a year. Was it good? DOCTOR: Middling. ROSE: You're so useless. DOCTOR: Well, if it's this much trouble, are you going to stay here now? ROSE: I don't know. I can't do that to her again, though. DOCTOR: Well, she's not coming with us. ROSE: No chance. DOCTOR: I don't do families. [...] ROSE: My mum was right. That is one hell of an age gap. Every conversation with you just goes mental. There's no one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things, and I'm the only person on planet Earth who knows they exist.
being the object of the doctor’s affection is i think probably a bit of a horrifying experience and not a position you really want to be in, but as long as youre still in that Comments About How Theyre Putting Up With All Of Humanity Because They Like You stage and havent yet reached the Tearing The Sky Apart For You stage, it probably feels really good (do i look susceptible to companion syndrome in this post hkfjghj)
and like i said it’s not that they dont actually love their companions. of course they do. it’s just that if youre terrified of being abandoned, making people feel special like this is a good way to make them not leave you
and i think 13 probably did her best not to do this again. she didnt invite them along to new adventures at the end of 11x1. she initiates goodbyes i think three times (”ive stayed too long, i should get back to finding my tardis”, “im almost gonna miss you”, “guess we’re done, nice having you aboard”) before the fam ask to come with her
and sure she plays the kicked puppy a bit in 11x4 but she waits for yaz to invite her, shes relatively passive, actually for the doctor shes incredibly passive. and she enjoys letting them into the tardis in 11x2, but she doesnt tease really secrets and wonders if they come travel with her. she doesnt really introduce them to the tardis, she doesnt say what the name means, she doesnt let them touch anything, nobody says “it’s bigger on the inside”, she doesnt invite them to all of time and space. she doesnt suggest it could be theirs to see. i dont think she ever does. just what the fam got to see accidentally was already enough to convince them.
i really need to rewatch so i might be wrong about this, but i dont think she ever makes them feel special the same way the doctor did with companions before. she makes them feel special like a tour guide maybe, with her little points and stars system, and calling them best friends, small mundane ways that dont show off her age or history or influence. i dont think she ever suggests theyre more important than other people. i think she emphasises her love for humans as a whole. i think thats the impression they get from her. i think thats what they would say if you asked them about her. “yeah she loves humanity. me? yeah she probably likes me, we’re friends”
she never puts them in a position where theyre the only one who can save the day/world/planet/universe. she always puts herself between them and the problem. she always goes ‘no im the doctor, thats my job’. she takes that responsibility so they dont have to. they take it! when they feel like theyre forced to! when the doctor’s gone in 12x2 or 12x10, they take that responsibility for sure. i think they want to, not just yaz but especially yaz. but they feel unprepared. the doctor hasnt prepared them for this bc she doesnt want them in that position bc in that position they die.
and clearly this has not been ideal. this has not led to an ideal doctor-companion dynamic, we’ve seen how this has hurt 13 as well as especially i think yaz and ryan deeply. but the strategy has been succesful. she lost her last two companions bc she didnt get between them and the problem. with bill literally, with clara metaphorically. (going back even further this might also be the case for amy and donna and rose. she let them into positions she should have been in taking decisions she should have taken)
and however badly things have gone for 13, the strategies of Get Between Them And The Problem, and Be The Doctor Dont Let Them Do It, have WORKED. she GOT THEM HOME. if yaz doesnt die, and im willing to bet money she doesnt, she got them all home safe and sound
14′s relationship with their companions will probably be a response to what went wrong in this round and it will have its own pitfalls that 15 then gets to fix but theyre trying, theyre learning. one step forward two steps back i guess. a fun little tango with death
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wheeler-fan · 4 months
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referring to your response on this ask, https://www.tumblr.com/wheeler-fan/739685299098124288/if-el-is-literally-dying-in-front-of-mike-and-hes
...this isn't a hate anon, but i do have some problems with what you said here. i think a big problem with many milevens is how much y'all seem to disregard mike's bond with will and will's pain in general.
like on what PLANET do you think will exists as "his gf's brother" in mike's head? that's his best friend of 10+ damn years, that he bonded with long before el. that's the one person that actually told him how much he mattered in the van scene and made him feel NEEDED and SEEN. that's the boy that mike said meeting was the best thing he ever did. mike's already shown how much he loves Will from that 1 scene alone, be it platonic or romantic. So yeah, the writing set up is all already in place and it won't be a surprise at all if season 5 he ends up falling for will... if he hasn't already. You can blatantly see the direction/build up of the writing surrounding mike's feelings for will, simply from the way they wrote him as insanely attached to will S1-2, and then wrote him as actively pushing will away S3-4. if it was unrequited, there would be no conflicts between them like this. in classic unrequited love writing, if one side is unaware, like the duffers confirmed mike is: 1 person would be pining and heartbroken, and 1 person would be acting as USUAL, friendly, and affectionate. Yet mike is stewing byler's conflicts just as much as will (and it 100% makes sense due to 80s homophobia). Like mike's actives role in these conflicts is the most glaring set up for him having feelings for will in s5.
but i digress~ the bottom line is, will is never gonna be "oh that's my girlfriend's brother" to mike.
ALSO: will is not a bad person if he ends up dating mike. he sacrificed his painting for el and kept trying to push mike and el together all of season 4 despite it hurting himself. he deserves something good FOR ONCE, and mind you: has had an insanely hard and traumatic life too, so idk how only el having a hard life matters to you, but not him??? lol. like we know that el and mike are gonna find out about will's feelings in season 5... that's how the painting lie has been set up. the truth is gonna be forced out. so el is a good person for being with mike, even though she'll find out it's hurting will- a kid who's had a very traumatic life and liked mike BEFORE she even appeared- cause mike chose to be with her? but will wouldn't be a good person for being with mike because el would be hurt and has had a very traumatic life, even IF MIKE CHOOSES TO BE WITH HIM?? i mean, mike's a human, not an object. neither el nor will own mike and have "dibs" on him, that el OR will would be bad people for dating mike regardless of who dated him first, like hello?? ultimately, it's mike's decision and will deserves happiness to be with mike just as much as el does. that doesn't make him a bad person.
nah stop that's not what I meant 😭 when I say that Will is Eleven's brother I don't mean that he is only an eleven's brother to mike😭😭 it wouldn't make sense they have known each other since kindergarten 😭🙏🏻 bffr. I'm just pointing this out as one of the obstacles to making byler endgame (imo), if Mike is going to leave his girlfriend to be in a relationship with his best friend (which I doubt because I think he loves her and isn't lying when he talks about it) then it's his best friend but also the brother of his (then ex) girlfriend! Am I the only one who sees how many problems this would cause between the kids? Second thing, to be clear, I don't think that making Lucas&Mike or Dustin&Mike endgame would be better just because they are not eleven brothers💀 that would also be weird, it would spoil their party + all of them, all three of them have girls!!(and i truly believe that they love them in a romantic way)
I feel like people ship Byler because of Will - we know he's gay, we know he likes Mike romantically, and we know he deserves a happy ending after what he's been through.
but I don't think you're listening to what Mike is saying because everyone automatically assumed Mike was lying??? that he doesn't speak from the heart about eleven and to eleven?? is this your proof that mike is interested in being in a relationship with Will? because "he is not honest with his feelings towards eleven" and he's staring at Will's lips?😭
as a Mileven fan, I'm trying to be realistic and analyze everything- I won't be surprised if Mileven will be endgame because it makes sense to me (please let them be endgame or I'm gonna die) but I also don't want the byler dynamic to be ruined- I love them together!! I can simply appreciate male friendship without turning it into something romantic (it would make a lot more sense to me if not the fact that I'm not assuming mike is lying about his feelings to eleven, i feel that he was speaking from his heart doing a monologue and i personally don't think he's interested in Will in the same way)
and also when I ask someone what he thinks shows that Mike will be in a relationship with Will and not Eleven, I don't want to get an explanation of how Mike behaves around Eleven because believe me, I know it😭 but it's not proof for me that he's in love with Will, it's giving anti mileven and not byler😭and what proof do you have for byler from mike pov? because all I hear is that Mike is staring at Will's lips and it doesn't really convince me, sorry 😭😭
(I'm not trying to be mean this is a serious ask..😭😭)
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lenievi · 10 months
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time to rethink things on my part [brought to you by me being kinda tired reading how “Spock was always serious in TOS” (even though this post won’t really be about TOS, but it made me remember some things)]
this is “canon compliant” with TOS, Discovery, and SNW up to episode 7. And it’s just my own interpretation. I’m writing this to fit my own reading of Treks I watch and I’m reusing things I’ve said before.
The first time we see adult Spock is in Short Treks: Q&A when he’s beaming aboard the Enterprise for the first time, smiling. During the episode he also starts to sing and laughs. Una told him to hide this part of himself, and he tried... but it’s not like he was that successful. Spock smiling and laughing was something that he did, not always, but he was someone who expressed happiness.
cue The Cage
In Discovery, after he gets better and reunites with Pike, he greets him with a smile. Is that a smile on your face? - I believe it is.
Spock doesn’t shy from expressing his joy.
But then Michael leaves him behind and Spock starts to grieve. And it’s during this period when T’Pring approaches him and wants to move their relationship forward. (I can’t believe I realized this today...) And Spock, who respects his father, and their culture, goes along with it, even though he’s still in pain because of Michael. He likes T’Pring, but isn’t in love with her. He doesn’t believe that Vulcan relationships are based on love.
“You are not capable of love. (...) You are Vulcan, and you will always be cold and distant, like a moon somewhere.”
“An Earth woman, living on a planet where love, emotion, is bad taste.”
He most likely doesn’t expect to ever fall in love.
But then Chapel appears on the Enterprise and she immediately starts being interested in Spock, and starts to tease him and bantering with him. With her, he starts to feel comfortable with being less Vulcan again (not for the first time, mind you). And he’s attracted to her, feels something for her, and wants her. He starts to smile, he starts to laugh, not just around her, but with others too. He starts to experiment with hunches. Right now, he’s riding on his experience of being fully human. He’s fine with things now that he will vehemently deny seven eight years in the future.
But he won’t bury them. At times, he will slip. At times, he will use them deliberately. 
Chapel isn’t someone who makes Spock “unSpock-like”; she actually allows him to be who he wants to be, which is something that neither Kirk or McCoy allowed in TOS because both had certain expectations. And Spock isn’t truly himself with either of them. He might slip occasionally, though.
I understand that the fandom thinks that Kirk sees “Spock”, but he doesn’t. His constant reminder to others that “he’s half-human too” and saying stuff like “we may make a human of you yet” ignores that at this point in time, Spock wants to follow Vulcan philosophy, and doesn’t appreciate being reminded that his Vulcaness is not 100%. McCoy, on the other hand, only sees Spock as a Vulcan, which Spock appreciates, but sometimes McCoy fails to see that it’s not that simple and crosses lines when he’s angry (or rather he’s typically worried which shows as anger).
There’s also always an air of professionalism between Kirk and Spock & McCoy and Spock, which Spock uses to logic himself out of thinking too deeply about how important McCoy and Kirk are to him. In SNW now, he is still way more open about this with Pike, for example. 
Pike: You are very important to me.  Spock: As you are to me, Captain. Chris.
(tos!Spock - Don’t grieve, Admiral - would never)
---
anyway, maybe when s2 is over, I’ll change my mind, but this seems to work for me atm. If your interpretation of Kirk and Spock’s relationship is different, please, keep it to yourself. I’m not interested. I’ve watched TOS episodes so many times that I know what I feel about Spock and Kirk and their friendship.
Not understanding someone completely doesn’t mean you can’t be close friends or brothers.
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anonymous-astronaut · 2 years
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hear me out: the mercs (plus miss Pauling) on a undercover mission on a candy and chocolate store?
🍭🍬🍫
Delicious! For creativity reasons I’m saying they all have to pretend like they work there cause I think it’s funny
Scout:
He is really really bad at acting undercover, and he keeps stuffing every pocket he has with candy when he thinks no one is looking. Scout didn’t get a lot of candy as a kid, at least not any that he didn’t have to share with eight brothers, so it made him kinda protective over his goodies. He’s like a damn chipmunk with his grabby little hands. If someone (probably Heavy) picks him up and shakes him upside down , it would rain like a hilariously disproportionate amount of candy. He is constantly getting off track and is so distracted he might actually forget he’s on a mission and decide he works there instead.
Soldier:
At first he tries to take the mission very seriously, but he attracts chaos like moths to a lamp and is physically incapable of acting like a normal human being for longer than two seconds. No one would believe he works there, but people start to think maybe he’s an inspector making sure they have a license or something. At some point HE starts to believe that as well, and starts investigating if the store is up to code. Things go south really fast, and he probably ends up making weapons out of candy and trying to wage a war on the people who are just shopping for candy with their families.
Pyro:
In spite of the suit, they actually blend in really well! They are jolly and helpful, and seem to love candy even though no one ever actually sees them eat any of it. They get along well with everyone that works there and shops there, and they are great with kids. Pyro is getting everything they need to do done while still being a joy to be around. No one (including the other mercs) has any doubts when they appear to know their way around the entire store. It’s almost like they’ve been here before.
Demo:
Honestly, he likes pastries and cakes more than he likes candy, and I don’t think his folks took him to a lot of sweet shops as a kid. The store is just not really his jam. He’s had costumer service jobs before, so pretending to work there is no fun and he gets bored pretty fast. If Soldier has any ideas for how to start shenanigans, Demo is all ears and will quickly turn to the side of chaos.
Heavy:
He doesn’t fit in. I mean he tries to, he takes the job seriously and he wants to be good undercover, but he’s just too noticeable/intimidating for a candy store. He is very blunt and his isn’t particularly great with children, and that doesn’t always go over well for customers. He ends up feeling kinda awkward the whole time, and has to baby sit the more wild mercs as always. He is not having fun, but he might sneak out a few of his favorite treats to enjoy later in private if they’re available.
Engie :
A little hospitality goes a long way here. He’s so amicable that he can sweet talk his way into or out of anything, so he’s great at being friendly to costumers. It’s just a job to him, maybe a little bit of a strange one but he likes a good challenge. He has a bit of a sweet tooth that he is super embarrassed about, so it’s not the worst location on the planet. He’ll get himself something nice for the ride home, he deserves it.
Sniper:
According to him, Sniper should be in the building across the street watching through a scope in the second story window, not undercover and interacting with people. He hates it. Children scare him a little, and he is 100% uncomfortable about everything and makes no effort to try to hide it. This genuineness and air of a desire to leave is exactly what makes him the most believable customer service worker of any of the mercs, so people keep thinking he actually works there and talking to him. He ends up spending half the time just working at the candy store instead of doing his undercover mission because he’s so busy and he’s too awkward to say no. The manager says they’ll see him the next day, he leaves very confused and not sure if he accidentally got a second job or not.
Medic:
At first Medic thinks this whole ordeal is beneath him, and there aren’t even any fun and morally questionable experiments for him to do. But then he kinda starts to get into it, he remembers going to sweet shops in Germany as a kid and he totally leans into his role as an eccentric candy store employee. The kids are a bit scared of him and he can’t figure out why, but he has a lot of fun and treats himself to some of his favorite sweets.
Spy :
He has to take this as seriously as he would any other mission, but he absolutely hates it. This man is seething. Getting into character mean putting on a ridiculous candy-man uniform and smiling at children. I’m just picturing him trying desperately to cling to his mysterious vibes but he’s dressed up in a stupid candy store outfit with a big smiley face hat or something. He can’t pull off the enthusiasm that is expected of someone who works there, and the result is what looks like a wet cat in a Halloween costume depressedly handing out candy. He takes a smoke break and someone who actually works there comforts him and listens to his woes while he gets all dramatic about it.
Miss Pauling:
Miss P is a little stressed having to herd the Mercs like cats, but she can’t help the fact that she thinks this job is a fantastic one. She doesn’t get vacation time so she just tries to have fun on the job when she can, and she views this as one of those opportunities. She loves the store employee outfit, she likes seeing kids and customers happy, and of course she loves the candy. As long as nothing blows up and she doesn’t have too many bodies to chop at the end of the day, she has a great time.
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the-nsr-family · 2 years
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Hi! Is it okay if we can hear your idea for the SU AU? Have a nice day/evening!
Oughfshsdfji hell yes. I have a bunch of ideas for the backstory and the current events but no real way to bridge them atm. It gets kinda long, most of this is just explaining Tatiana’s backstory in this au.
“I’m just a fire giant. I’m just a woman made of rock and lava/crystal! I was born on this planet 100%”- The CEO blatantly lied about her past to her family/coworkers who are technically family.
In doing so, she also lies about her dead twin brother’s past (yes I *am* bringing Nickolas and his wife into this bc I love those mfs)
Tatiana and her brother are people made of stone, yes, and they have veins throughout their body made of pure gemstone. Yes, they are walking volcanos...but they are so much more than that in the terms of their past. 
To put in in the simplest terms: they’re living experiments. When the Diamonds got curious about their abilities of creation, they decided to push their limits, essentially: Nickolas and Tatiana were created during one of the many “Fucking around and finding out” parts of Homeworld’s history. On the most basic level, they’re supposed to be Diamonds. That’s what the gemstone veins in their bodies are/were comprised of. But they weren’t made with pure essence, and they certainly weren’t supposed to be polished and perfect. They’re just parts of a planet all mashed into two humanoid beings. The results of the Diamonds going: “lmao what if we did THIS” and it actually creating two sentient beings.
They didn’t even have their current names, at that time they were simply called Rouge Diamond (Nickolas) and Scarlet Diamond (Tatiana), but they wouldn’t really be recognized as Diamonds for years to come.
They can get sick, they have organic parts to them, they seem incredibly human even though Earth was not in the minds of the Diamonds at the time, as this was BEFORE Pink was created.  They weren’t really “born”, but they were babies at one point, they did grow up. Which was something that none of the Diamonds were used to. White had such a big hand in their creation that they (Tatiana more specifically) attempted to emulate her behaviors. They clung to her. Unluckily for them, she had absolutely zero interest in raising kids who need to eat and have far more organic functions than they should’ve. She did enough to keep them content, but she never spent more time with them than she had to when they were kids. Blue was the only one who actually tried to give them any kind of affection at that age, but even she had her limits.
When they were older? She had plenty of interest in molding them to be as perfect as she could make them. Thankfully they did grow, but they were both shorter than Blue, Nickolas being the taller one. Tatiana found herself so happy in her role, so was her brother, but eventually she got tired. The one bad thing about growing up and White actually caring for her? She can’t have fun anymore. Being rebellious is discouraged, all that shouting and having fun is even less acceptable at this age, she found that all her freedom was stripped from her. She *hated* this.
So she got vocal. When she got vocal, she stirred thoughts in her older twin, when she got vocal, she stirred thoughts in the Gems around her. When she got vocal? She stirred thoughts in the newest Diamond around: Pink Diamond. This made her predecessors very upset, but they tried to keep their cool. She didn’t. Her era of rebelling against her caretakers led her to discovering new powers: She exploded into flame due to her extreme passion one evening, and she felt so free in that form...the others were less partial to it. She discovered that she had the ability to control time. That...the others liked that. Not for the reasons they should’ve.
Because Tatiana discovered her fire, her brother unleashed his, and they accidently started many small fires within the palace.  Pink got her colony, and when she began to feel the need to begin the rebellion, to plant those seeds, she turned to the half organics that bothered White to no end with their antics. They understood her. They understood exactly how she felt, trapped, unhappy, they want free from this dreadful cycle as much as she does. 
Pink shared her plans, the twins agreed whole-heartedly, they contributed by turning up their actions, they took the heat for her while she went masquerading as Rose Quartz. Tatiana’s time powers were used sparingly, but they did a lot of good. Plan didn’t go right the first time? Loyal rebel shattered or locked away? A bit of time travel fixed the issue right away. Messing with time may not have been a good thing, but they were a bunch of young Gems with hardly any self-preservation.  While Pink did her best to save the humans, Tatiana became a little enraptured by them, and she realized that maybe she could make her own planet. She could do what Pink was doing, but for other planets. And she’s still a Diamond, she can create life if she needs to. So she went off with her brother, they found a planet, they rescued species from other planets that would’ve otherwise been killed, and they created an entire community, an entire world together. 
They used Tatiana’s time travel abilities to the extreme. They would pop by earth from time to time, they borrowed the ways humans developed and suggested these ways to the ones living on their new planet. They made sure that everything developed almost entirely the same, and eventually put these efforts to rest. The planet was covered in towns and cities, it had unique biomes that resembled earth’s, animals from Earth that hardly changed, but still changed. They stopped their efforts when their favorite little city was starting to get big on rock music.  Everything fell into place from there. The twins fabricated their past, they made up stories about their parents, and used this to rant about White in a way that didn’t expose them. Nickolas got his sister a guitar made just for her, he began to play the bass. He met his wife, she met some humans she was interested in, they started a band.  She went from Scarlet to Kul Fyra, she started the Goolings, her brother began to go by Nickolas. Everything was perfect. Almost perfect, at least. As glamorous as a rockstar’s life can be, there was still a lot of bad that happened (addiction and crime and whatnot).
They moved on. They forgot about their past. They immersed themselves in the world they created.  A Diamond has their urges to lead, though. Fyra listened to her band, but they had spats now and then. She and her brother were always in charge, because being in charge was what they were raised to believe they deserved. When the band split up, Nickolas had a child with his wife, Fyra went on as Tatiana Qwartz, her brother kept their fake family name, Onyx, and they just. Let their lives go on. They were as normal as any of the other crazy superpowered people were on this planet. And Tatiana made her company.  And the music revolution happened. Tatiana adopted herself a pair of rebellious young adults. Mayday turned out to be her niece, her brother’s daughter, and after a lot of heartache, everything was finally happy again.
But someday, somehow, she’s gonna end up back on Homeworld. She’s going to face her “mother” again, and her whole family, coworkers and all, are going to see her real self. How??? No fucking clue. That’s the part I don’t have planned out.
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callmejudgement · 19 days
Text
Winx Club Script
About Me
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Age: 20
Height: 5’6
Appearance: Similar to my cr self but 100% yassifyed. Note: I have 40inch sister locs, not a buss down.
I also gave myself 20/20 vision because I’m sick of glasses.
Backstory: I am a changeling (like in Fate) who lives a normal human life on Earth. One day I suddenly wake up in Magix. While I was asleep, a wizard transported me through the Realm of Dreams to his residence in Magix City. Apparently, I'm the last living member of my planet's royal family (I am not naming the planet in my script bc I suck at names). The Wizard is an old friend of my mom's and has been searching for me for centuries because I'm the only one capable of saving our planet. I am to start at Alfea and learn to control my powers as one of the last surviving fairies of dreams. When I’m strong enough, we will reclaim my planet from the darkness overtaking it.
My powers: fairy of dreams + some secret power (like how Bloom has the dragon flame, I want to be special.)
My pixie: I'll let y'all know once I meet her. I want it to be a surprise!
Schools
The three major schools (Alfea, Cloud Tower, Red Fountain) are coed. I believe in male fairy/witch and female specialist rights! You also study for 5 years, like the show initially stated before changing it to 3! There isn't much to say here because I mostly like how the schools are canonically.
I am changing the average first-year age to 20, though. Why? Because I'm 20, and I don't want to age myself down to 18 or 16. Besides, people in the Magic Dimension live so much longer than humans, so why would their schooling ages be the same as Earth? (Not to mention that there is my dr and I can do what I want!)
I'm also making the schools less strict on curfew since we're older.
Specialists
This is oddly specific, but Helia is also a wizard (because his grandad is, so I feel like he should be, too).
Villain’s
I honestly want to nuke any canon villain post-season 4. Tritanus is on thin fucking ice, but Selena can stay. Acheron and them season 7 animal things need to go though (they get the most useless and forgettable villains award!).
The Trix
Let's get this out of the way first. Stormy is male in my dr! Why? Because!
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Do I need to say more? Now, on to more important things. I love these baddies (even though they became pathetic as the seasons went on)! I plan for the plot to mostly follow seasons 1-3, but I want the Trix to get a redemption arc at some point. I'm not going to script out exactly when it happens, but it will happen after season 3 (assuming that event even follows the show after all the changes I've made).
I just really want to work with the Trix! I am a firm believer that the Trix are not pure evil. Maybe it's their ancestor's influence that is twisting their minds without them knowing? Or perhaps they were corrupted by the Shadow Phoenix through the Whipserian Crystals that they used in season 1? Idk, but it'll be something and after being cleansed with fairy dust, they return to normal and can continue at Cloud Tower.
The Shadow Pheonix
The show could have done so much more with this. Speaking of the Shadow Pheonix is taboo throughout the Magic Dimension because of how fucking evil it is. Even witches don't fw it. The Shadow Phoenix created the Dark Circle (I don't like that the Wizards of the Dark Circle canonically made it), and the Phoenix is not a physical thing. It's more like a concept or energy that is recorded to have appeared as a Shadow of a Phoenix in history.
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flowers-that-sing · 1 year
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a few so you can pick one without much pressure:
"100% space creature"
"ticket to hell"
"hi hungry i'm [redacted]"
"skip, skip, skip ahead"
"press alt delete"
"spinning record"
HIII ILY!!! thank u for sending these!!!
also sorry i made almost all of them angsty dksjkshs
100% Space Creature
Fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena
Rating: General Audiences
Ships: Utena Tenjou/Anthy Himemiya
Light angst, angst and humor, identity crisis, hurt/comfort, fluff
Utena questions whether or not she is even human, whether she even counts as such. Maybe there is something intrinsically wrong with her, there is something off, something different. Maybe that something is because she comes from another planet entirely.
Ticket to Hell
Fandom: Kill la Kill
Rating: Mature
Ships: Mako Mankanshoku/Ryuko Matoi
Ryuko-centric, Satsuki-centric, Mako-centric, angst, hurt/comfort, past character death, implied/referenced past sexual assault, implied/referenced sexual abuse (non-graphic), past child abuse, post-canon, canon-compliant, graphic depictions of violence, canon-typical violence, a touch of religious trauma, self-harm, nightmares, suicidal thoughts, psychosis, flashbacks, alcoholism
After the Everything, Satsuki struggles to find purpose in her new life. She questions who she is, what she wants, what she doesn’t, and for possibly the first time, she begins to worry that she may not be a good person. It never used to matter, but now? Now it’s all she can think about. Meanwhile, Ryuko is having trouble sleeping. After waking up Mako with her nightmares three nights in a row, Ryuko has had enough. She picks up and leaves with nary a notice, with plans to return once her nightmares ease, but she begins to lose touch of what is nightmare and what is life. Mako puts her detective skills to the test. Quickly enough, both Ryuko and Satsuki have disappeared, and it’s up to Mako to find them. She’s terrified to lose more and wondering if maybe it was her fault they’re gone.
Hi Hungry, I’m [Redacted]
Fandom: Stranger Things
Rating: Mature
Ships: Mike Wheeler/Will Byers, Lucas Sinclair/Max Mayfield/El Hopper, Dustin Henderson/Suzie Bingham
Mike-centric, Lucas-centric, Max-centric, Suzie-centric, religious trauma, child abuse, hurt/comfort, post-canon, not canon compliant, everyone lives, the upside down is over, vecna is dead, Ted Wheeler is a bad parent, Karen Wheeler is a bad parent, Susan Mayfield was a bad parent, Suzie Bingham has bad parents, Lucas Sinclair has good parents, but he doesn’t know how to talk to them, miscommunications, disordered eating/eating disorders, implied sexual abuse, self-harm, gender dysphoria, genderfluid Mike Wheeler, nonbinary Max Mayfield, everyone in this is queer, established relationships (not elumax though), getting together (elumax), same universe as Behind the Wall of Sleep
Lucas is sick and tired of being shoved into boxes. And he’s sick and tired of people being assholes. Lucas wants help, but his thoughts are all so complicated, and he doesn’t know how to ask—besides, it’s not like most of his friends could understand half of it. He’s used to helping, and he can’t ask more of everyone when everyone’s already suffering enough. Mike is hungry. He’s hungry and empty and sick and it’s all blended together. Sometimes he’s not allowed food, sometimes he just can’t bring himself to eat, sometimes he forgets, sometimes he feels there’s just no point. He feels filthy and terrible and ill and he wishes he could purge himself of every impurity, but if he did, perhaps there would be nothing left at all. Max struggles to take care of herself in the aftermath of everything, she’s petrified of losing vision in her one remaining eye, even though by now she’s had the corneal transplant. She’s trying to maintain a stony front but she’s finally letting people in. There’s a lot more to Max’s past that she still needs to process, and she has a lot more in common with Mike and Suzie than she thought she did. Suzie is doing her best to stay cheerful, to behave, to be good, to practically raise her little siblings by herself now that Eden’s finally made her escape. Suzie couldn’t leave her siblings behind. But now, knowing about the alternate dimension buried below Dustin’s town, her faith has begun to waver, and her wavering faith sends her spiraling into self-loathing and increasingly perilous attempts to reconnect with God.
Skip, Skip, Skip Ahead
Fandom: Stranger Things
Rating: Teen
Ships: Jonathan Byers/Argyle, Argyle/Eden, Jonathan Byers/Eden (queerplatonic)
Jonathan-centric, Argyle-centric, Eden-centric, mostly humor, fluff, smoking (that’s why it’s rated teen), drinking (safely), party games, bad flirting, Argyle gets bitches, they get to break shit, light angst, light hurt/comfort, crack taken seriously (but it’s not ALL crack), same universe as Behind the Wall of Sleep but they get to be happy in this
Jonathan loves Argyle. He’s in bed with him right now, even. Unfortunately, also in the bed with them, right between Jonathan and Argyle, is that random goth chick, Eden. Which, at first, is pretty frustrating. But it turns out Eden has great taste in music, and they find themselves skipping ahead to the good parts of both albums and their own budding relationship. They all have their issues, but they’re working through them together, and with the aid of a little weed. Maybe more than a little. Well, whatever. Argyle takes up movie reviewing, and he’s always been a stellar storyteller. Eden takes up playwriting. Jonathan is already a photographer. While high together, they decide to make their own film (with only the best music, of course). It’s definitely gonna rake in tons at the box office.
Press Alt Delete
Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice
Rating: Teen
Ships: Yuri Katsuki/Victor Nikiforov
AU - hackers + spies, established relationship, inaccurate depictions of hacking and coding bc idk anything about that, fluff, bad flirting, bad pickup lines, general tomfoolery, the inherent homoeroticism of being put on a government watchlist together
I’m gonna be honest I have no idea where I’d go with this one but I feel like they’d either be doing some sort of weird online crime solving or hacking foreign governments no in between
Spinning Record
Fandom: Banana Fish
Rating: General audiences
Ships: Ash Lynx/Eiji Okumura
mostly fluff, lmao i love how one of the NON ANGSTY ones is banana fish of all things, music infodumping basically, sharing interests, band AU, Shorter Wong lives, performing music, karaoke, nonbinary Ash Lynx, trans Eiji Okumura, asexual Eiji Okumura, trans Sing Soo-Ling, genderfluid Yut-Lung Lee, genderqueer Shorter Wong, teasing Ash for being the token white guy lol, found family
Ash, Eiji, and Shorter are all incredibly passionate about music, and decide to start a band together, with Ash playing guitar, Eiji on bass and vocals, and Shorter on the accordion and vocals. They also meet harpist Yut-Lung and drummer Sing, both of whom are absolutely judging Shorter at first for his instrument of choice, but once they see what he can do with it are all in. They’re an odd group, but they have fun! Sing finds an older trans guy role model in Eiji as well. Yut-Lung and Sing both have fairly… troubled childhoods, and since Ash, Eiji, and Shorter all did as well, they become somewhat of older sibling figures. They not only make music but a true family as well.
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📂📂📂
Send 📂 for facts about my OCs || sent by. @thelittlestspider(THANK YOU FOR SENDING KIMI!!! ✌️💫)
Let’s go with the “Heart of Glass” crew, simply because they are on my mind and I just love them all a lot. 1. Sidney’s always making ‘time of the month’ jokes after she turned into a werewolf. The only person who thinks her jokes are even a little bit funny is her best friend Evie. Iah, however, just gives her this very dumbstruck expression every time. Like “Why would you say that, Sidney?” and Sidney’s just like “Well, it is that time of month – I feel like driving my car incredibly fast and scream singing the beginning of ‘Thriller’. Like isn't that how being a werewolf works?” and Iah just like SIGHS really loud because he’s in love with this woman.
2. Iah’s not super serious all the time though? He’s a wizard who comes from a long line of incredibly powerful wizards and he’s always felt like he HAD to walk in their footsteps because people have been coming to his family for help for years and stopping that would make him feel like he's the asshole who didn't want to help people. Thing is, he’d just be happy listening to Sid talk about nothing and everything for a good few hours. He also really loves his kid he has with Sid. And though he knows his parents would give him shit for wanting to get back with Sid even after what happened to make her a werewolf, he doesn’t care, whether she was still human 100% of a werewolf who changes upon the full moon, that’s still the love of his life. Just like, he won’t admit it because Sid sometimes makes him feel ridiculous and she’s probably the only person alive who has ever made him second-guess himself.
3. Evie is a vampire, and she’s been around since before planetary travel, so she was on this planet before most people. She’s kind of a HUGE deal, but she’s incredibly………out there and a bit wacky because she’s lived so long and didn’t feel like she had much to look forward to until she met Sid and then Iah. Basically…….I’m …..love them.
It should also be noted that her and my character "Dougie Fray" from "Bad Things Happened" dated for a good hundred years. However they literally are always fighting so it just doesn't work between them. But things work out great with Sid and Iah. I feel like she brings them balance.
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m39 · 2 years
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Doom WADs’ Roulette (2001): Revolution!
And so we reached the end of yet another year from the Doomworld’s list of top 100 WADs. To conclude 2001, we are going to end it with a bang. A full-on, 32-maps-long, Vanilla MegaWAD.
#10: Revolution!
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Main author(s): Thomas van der Velden
Release date: Somewhere around 2001 (original release)/January 18th, 2003 (database)
Version(s) played: ???
Required port compatibility: Vanilla
Levels: 32 (standard 30 + 2)
That’s right, folks. Today we are checking out a classic style MegaWAD that is not based on gimmicks like the last year’s 10 Sectors compilation. And it kind of has big shoes to fill. Most of the WADs/maps needed a source port that enhanced their looks and gameplay. Will the Revolution! stood up to the quality of the other WADs from 2001? There is only one way to answer it.
Let’s finish this.
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Believe it or not, there is a story to this MegaWAD. At least from what I’ve gathered from other sites because there is nothing about it in the file with the MegaWAD itself. So, here’s what I got:
There was God Almighty. He had the Son. That son was Satan. Son wanted to kick his Papa’s arse with some demons. God made Humans to kick his bastard’s arse. God left something called Oracle to help humanity. Son had found out about humans and sent demons to kill them. Humanity managed to kick the Son’s and the demons’ asses without the Oracle’s help.  Humanity turned demons into its free workforce to help it expand into the universe. Humans (but demons first) find some planet called Utopia. God, now scared of humans, gives demons a power-up to get rid of humanity.
And where are you in this mess? Well, you are some ordinary train driver who is forced to fix up the demonic mess that happened while doing his job. At least that’s how I interpret it from playing the first map.
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For a Vanilla WAD, Revolution! looks very good. Not only do the locations look different from each other, but many of them also tend to offer many funny little details that can make you smile. From the community buildings/areas like cinema and basketball court, through more industrial buildings and facilities on Utopia, ending with temples related to God or Son, looking like ancient and/or hellish buildings.
Some of the sprites were changed, and they are all fine at worst. For some reason though health and armor bonuses are changed into the red and blue balls respectively. I don’t know why. For me it feels kind of a step down from the original sprites since now they are less distinguishable from each other.
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Megasphere is changed to some kind of sigil (the same that you can see on some of the crates) and it looks good.
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My favorite sprite change however is with Commander Keen changed into imprisoned Zombieman, giving you a small catharsis from these hitscanners and their worse versions. There are even some torture chambers for them in Lab of the Lost.
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There is also the fact that this WAD is technically bloodier than the original games, since the enemies now spit out more blood after being hit, and that blood also drops to the ground, I guess. It’s kind of funny little detail.
If I had to choose which level looked the best, the first five maps look really good and might be my favorite ones, with R ’n R looking the best. Following that, in terms of industry-focused maps, I would go with Battleground mainly for its tank near the exit. I would also add Beyond the Oracle as my favorite-looking map in the last third of the WAD, simply for the pyramid at the beginning. These are only some of the examples as I don’t want you to be here for 10 hours reading my shit.
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Also, I really like how most of the time, the end of one level leads to the beginning of another. Very good.
I don’t really think the levels are complicated. I can only think of a few cases in that I was stuck for a longer time than usual during my first run. But thankfully, after that, it wasn’t too hard to get through the levels.
The only map I actually hated during my first run was probably Wasted!. There is so much damaging floor on this level that not even a huge amount of Rad suits could’ve improved this festival of bullshit for me (at least during my first run, the second one wasn’t that bad).
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There are some unique things that stand out in some of the maps (mostly related to how the map ends). For instance, in Rockit, you basically end up summoning a rocket to blast off into space like it was some kind of Half-Life. Hausterium is basically a level where you spend most of the time in a gigantic worm, where you have to fight your way through it and also grab the red key in its guts (don’t worry, you won’t end up being shit out). XS starts out with something that resembles a portal to Hell, where the third part of the WAD starts with the previously mentioned more ancient buildings.
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There are of course more things to mention but, as I said last time, we would be here forever if I were going to talk about all of these.
As for the rest of the smaller but still unusual stuff, I can remember two cases where you have to pray to the small altar covered in blood. Asides from the last map, there are also two cases where you end the level up by blowing some kind of mark/reactor. There are also some cases where you have to shoot some walls/cages to reach further.
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And by the way, Miners has mandatory usage of computer panels. Just to let you know if you are stuck.
Revolution! is not really hard in my opinion. Almost all the time the enemy counter is below 100, there’s a shit-ton of ammo everywhere, and there are many ways to cheese the enemies throughout the maps. Of course, there are moments when this WAD gets harder (usually with packs of Revenants), but these moments for around half of a time were only hard for me due to the hitscanners, like the silo with wastes and the caged-up Hoovies surrounding it in Rockit being the cheapest case.
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And, I guess, that’s all I have to say about Revolution!. It was really good in my opinion and I believe it to be another proof that even Vanilla MegaWAD can look great and be fun to play just like the source port requiring ones.
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We still have Revenant Awards to do, but judging from what I have, there won’t be any trouble choosing the winners I think.
Until then, I’ll see you all next time.
Bye!
0 notes
fandomwriterstuff · 3 years
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“We’re a well-oiled team of military-grade kindergarteners,” his best friend, and the only other human on the ship who would understand what kindergarten was, continued chastising him and his companions. “The level of education and training among the three of you eclipses that of the entire rest of the members of this operation,” Annabeth continued, pointing her finger individually at himself, his pilot Jason, and his Chief Science Officer Nico. “You know, I’m not that surprised with you, Percy, but you are our XO so you should really be more responsible,” he winced at that, still feeling a bit of imposter syndrome at being the Commander of the USS Olympus. “Jason, shouldn’t you be piloting a ship or something?” At that, he saluted her and did an about face before scampering off to get into more trouble. “And you, you’re definitely way too responsible to have gotten mixed up with this Seaweed Brain and Sparky, so what’s in this tomfoolery for you?”
Nico, the only Neptunian on the ship, shifted his large black wings self consciously under the scrutiny of their Chief of Operations. Percy, as the Commander of the vessel, felt obligated to protect his usually stoic and well-behaved… acquaintance? Di Angelo was reserved, almost standoffish, and resented anyone who tried to stick up for him for some reason, but that didn’t stop Percy’s stupid seaweed brain from doing so. Hence the acquaintance. Percy was 99% sure Di Angelo didn’t consider him a friend. But he was nice to Percy and a great officer, so Percy considered him his friend.
“It was my fault, Annie,” he used her childhood nickname carefully, not knowing whether it would soften her up or piss her off more. He was hoping for softening. “It was just another one of Jason and my dumb ideas that we thought we would need a scientist to help with, and we didn’t want to piss off Leo by involving him in it. You know how he is about his engineer and warp cores and whatnot,” Percy held his hands up placatingly. “Leave Di Angelo out of this, he has sciencey things to do, isn’t that right?” Percy side-eyed his companion who (not surprisingly) rolled his eyes.
“I try not to get involved with human pranks or even Jovian mischief, but Officer Grace and First Officer Jackson were about to be meddling with my linguistics team. It isn’t my duty to tell my superiors what to do, so I sought out the next best option, supervising and ensuring no lasting damage was done to the physical or emotional state of the linguistics team. Now,” Here Percy held in a smirk as Di Angelo shrugged. “If they caused interference with the machinery of the ship, that wouldn’t be my expertise, so I allowed it to happen and-” Percy held back a laugh as the other male started speaking even faster to get everything out as Annabeth turned redder and redder. “I’m very sorry about that, truly, but I had no control over the situation.”
“No control over the situation? You three broke our LIT machine and now we have to go back to Earth as soon as we pass close enough to fix it. Soon enough nobody on this ship will understand each other,” the woman across from them crossed her arms and Percy shrunk back a bit.
“I want to make a joke about a machine being called “LIT,” but I feel like it isn’t the right time,” he muttered. “I know the Linguistic Inhibition Technology is important, but most of us have a working understanding of at least one other language, so it shouldn’t be a huge issue, right?”
“You know it works by connecting to the implant technology in our brains, so as it shuts down one by one, members of this ship from spaces stations and planets far and wide will have no clue why they suddenly can’t understand their XO, or their Chief Officer, or their best friend. So you better explain this. And you have to tell them that we’re going straight back to Earth to fix it because no nearby planets have the same brain implant tech as us. Damn Terrans and their brand name technology copyrights,” Annabeth grumbled and finally turned around to walk off.
“Hey, you’re Terran, too!” Percy shouted after her, but she just flipped him the bird.
“She can do that?” Di Angelo asked, side-eyeing Percy.
“Yeah, she’s been my best friend since we were twelve. As long as she doesn’t undermine my authority in front of everyone else, I don’t really care. I’ve done way worse to her,” Percy laughed at the other man’s frown. “Nothing bad, just pranks and things of that sort. Maybe when we get back to Earth we can show you where we’re from. You never set foot off of the training grounds while you were in school.”
“I would… like that,” Di Angelo paused and gave Percy a soft smile.
“Great,” Percy patted the younger male on the shoulder and made his way to the Command Center.
Percy sat himself down in the rotating chair and pressed on the comms device.
“Gooooood evening crew of the USS Olympus, this is your Commanding Officer, Percy Jackson, speaking,” he smiled at the engineering crew that was scuttling by, only for one of them to pause and look at him like he was speaking a different language… Whoops.
“There was a malfunction with the Linguistic Inhibition Technology and we will be returning to Earth henceforth to repair it before the damage becomes problematic. You may experience glitches with your implant technology and may revert to only understanding your first language and those you have studied extensively. If somebody looks like they’re not understanding what I’m saying right now, please escort them to the linguistics team in Science Bay 3. Carry on. Jackson, out.” He clicked again and the mic turned off.
He sighed, this would be one of his bigger mistakes. They were supposed to be exploring, but they couldn’t do that if nobody could speak to one another. One trip home couldn’t hurt him, and he was sure Annabeth would be happy to see her father.
It wasn’t until later after the Chief Officer meeting when someone finally asked Percy about Earth. For many of the non-humans on the ship, Earth was a place to get education and training to go out in the star fleet, and they never set foot outside the campus grounds, just like Di Angelo. But people had stopped asking him questions because Earth was basically “Space Australia,” as Annabeth had explained to him. The adaptability of humans and their need to pack bond astounded many and horrified many others. So, he stopped talking about home.
It was a new member of their ship, Novax (a Vulcan who was a part of Leo’s engineering team), who asked him about it first.
“I hear Earth is 75% made of pure salt water, and is filled with animals of all kinds. Do you have a favorite water animal?” he asked Percy excitedly.
“Definitely dolphins, though they aren’t underwater creatures. Like humans they need oxygen to breathe, and come up for air very often. My favorite actual underwater species would have to be a hippocampus from Neptune. I’ve always wanted to go and see one, but my human anatomy prevents me from going on-planet,” Percy explained and sipped on his hot tea.
“There are a million creatures in the ocean and you pick one that doesn’t breathe underwater?” Clarisse grunted. His Chief Tactical Officer was a brutish Martian, but very specialized in weapons. “And your second favorite isn’t even Terran.”
“What else do you know about the ‘ocean’?” Novax breathed, leaning forward.
“Eh, not much,” Percy shrugged.
“I’m not sure I heard that correctly, maybe my LIT unit isn’t functioning well,” another member of engineering asked, Nyssa. “Your planet is 75% water and you don’t even know what is inside it?”
“I could tell you about the people who spend their life learning about what survives in the deep depths,” Percy looked up, knowing he had all of the non-Terrans hooked on every word. Even Di Angelo had paused in his note taking and was staring wide-eyed at Percy. “But I don’t know if you’d want to know.”
“No we do!” Nyssa exclaimed. “There are people who dedicate their lives to a place that’s literally not navigable by humans, the main inhabitants of the planet?”
“Well as you said, most of the planet is water. Which means that coastal communities are filled with fisherman, whalers, swimmers, and more. I could tell you about some of those. I could also tell you about the scientists that spend years of their lives building bots that can’t even come close to withstanding the pressure at the deepest depths without imploding, or I could tell you about those that do come close,” he shrugged.
“What happened to those?”
“The video feed cut out after only seeing multiple rows of sharp, jagged teeth,” Annabeth answered, her sharp grin frightening those who hadn’t noticed her. Some forgot that she was Terran, because she was also half Minervan.
“I could tell you about whales. Beautiful, they come in black and white or grey or blue. But they can be as big as almost 100 feet long. That’s as long as most pirate ships. And they could fit about 400 average sized humans in their mouths. You don’t want to cross one of them. And they only live on the surface. The things that live in the deep,” Percy shuddered for effect. There were no Neptunians on the ship, so there were no natural water dwellers there, so all of his rapt listeners were shocked by this information. “There’s the anglerfish. They light up the dark with an antenna on top of their heads, and the light lures in prey. But it’s so dim elsewhere that you don’t see their big sharp teeth until you’re right up against them,” he murmured. “Giant squids are almost as big as whales but not nearly as peaceful and beautiful. They have eight arms and two tentacles that could wrap around any boat and crush it.”
“Ten limbs?” Nyssa whispered, clearly disturbed.
“Plus, the Portuguese Man o’ War,” Percy shrugged nonchalantly. “Also known as the floating terror. It’s like a big blue jellyfish that sits innocently on top of the water with huge blue tentacles that sit just underneath with a sting strong enough to kill a full grown human.”
“Don’t worry,” Annabeth grinned that shark grin again. “Percy won’t tell you about the stories of the old days. He doesn’t want to scare you.”
“That was the not scary part?” Novax gulped.
“Anyway, I just got notified that we’ll be back on Earth in a few days, so brace yourselves,” and with that, she stood and left them all staring after her. When the door clicked shut, Percy had all eyes back on him. He shrugged.
“Don’t look at me. I wasn’t going to tell you about the kr- nevermind,” he stood. “Di Angelo, with me,” the younger officer stood, back to business and was at Percy’s side again in a moment. “Clear your schedule, you’re spending shore leave with me, pal.”
“Great,” came the deadpan reply.
“Don’t sound so somber,” Percy rolled his eyes. “I’m just going to show you the beach and maybe a good gay bar. You need to let off some steam my dude.”
The other male reddened.
“That is so… That is…” he huffed. “Highly inappropriate.” he glared down at the ground and Percy felt a little bad, maybe the guy wasn’t out? But it was clear he had a preference for males. Oh well, that foot was already in Percy’s mouth.
“Fine. But I will be attending and I am a great dancer so you’re missing out,” he winked at the flustered officer and made his way back to his cabin. It would be an interesting few days.
He made a plan with Annabeth. Day one before shore leave, Percy would spread a rumor to Novax about the kraken. Bigger than a giant squid and meaner. Known to crush entire pirate ships in the olden days.
Day two, Annabeth would mention sirens to Nyssa. Hideous creatures that could lure you in with their voices and lead you to believe you were bringing your ship in to everything you ever wanted, when in reality you would crash your ships and then drown.
Day three, Percy would tell Leo about the Megalodon. A definitely very real shark so big you couldn’t even imagine it. Percy shuddered at that one.
“But, there are some good things,” Percy was speaking to Nico Di Angelo from his Commander chair, in ear shot of some of the participants of the conversation a few nights prior. “Mermaids, the siren’s nicer cousin species. And the lost city of Atlantis. Known to be a great and bountiful city, lost to the sea and cursed by the gods to be stuck down there forever. Some believe it still exists, but it’s within the Bermuda Triangle.”
“What, pray tell, is the Bermuda Triangle,” Clarisse sighed.
“Hard to explain. Ships just… go in… and they never come out,” Annabeth shrugged. “Planes go down. Ships wreck. People who go in don’t come back out, so we don’t know if Atlantis is really there or not.”
“That’s… terrifying,” Novax whispered as he walked by.
Percy was sure he had created a healthy fear of Earth’s oceans in his crew. And he meant to, because while he loved the beach and swimming, he did want to make them shy away from the depths. They wouldn’t do well to explore it.
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jungshookz · 3 years
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teeny tidbits: three years later and yoongi is still very much in love with y/n
according to my period tracking app i’m due in four days so that explains why i felt the sudden urge to sit down and write this 
also i had to go back and read the wedding drabble to double-check a minor detail and.,,.., barfs i am so sorry for all of the ceo!drabbles the writing is so tragic 
i hope u enjoy this small product of my sappiness <3 
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➺ pairing; ceo!yoongi x y/n  
➺ genre; idk just very sappy and gooey and if ur a ceo!couple stan ur going to love this 
➺ wordcount; 1.4k
                                        »»————- 💞 ————-««
the first thing yoongi finds especially odd when he steps into the penthouse is the fact that it’s a little too quiet for his liking
he purses his lips as he shuts the door behind him, blindly turning the lock with a quiet click as he looks around
sure, it’s almost midnight, but you’re usually tinkering around in the kitchen for a snack or watching netflix on the couch whenever he comes home late... so where are you now? 
he’s about to call out for you when he suddenly remembers that hwayoung’s definitely fast asleep by this hour and that you’d murder him in cold blood if he accidentally woke her up and ruined her sleeping schedule (she gets very grouchy when she’s not following a set schedule - and yoongi knows her sour morning attitude was probably inherited from him but he sleeps more peacefully at night thinking that it’s because of one of your genes) 
yoongi places his keys on the top of the shoe cabinet quietly before reaching down to yank his laces loose
“woah.” he holds his hands out to keep himself steady after he stands up too quickly and his head starts to spin and he starts to see double 
oof 
maybe he should’ve slowed down with the wine at dinner
it’s not his fault he’s so weak for a good red!
“shower time, showah time…” yoongi murmurs to himself as he makes his way up the spiral staircase, gripping onto the railings tightly so that he doesn’t slip on his way up, “would you like to join me? wanna come with? lemme soap you up, girl-” he slurs, smiling cheekily to himself at the possibility of being able to run his hands all over your body in a few short minutes
he gives himself a high five when he makes it to the top of the staircase successfully, wobbling for a split second before nodding to himself and giving himself a mental pat on the back  
B-)
nice
the warm light coming from the crack in the door leaks into the hallway and yoongi shuffles towards it like a moth towards a flame, reaching up to fumble at his tie with boneless fingers-
oh
yoongi immediately freezes once he reaches the door, his heart skipping a beat in his chest when he catches a glimpse of you wearing your wedding dress through the crack
he watches curiously as you smooth your hand over the neckline before turning from side to side to look at yourself in the mirror
he wasn’t expecting to see this when he came up here but he’s definitely not complaining 
yoongi presses his hand against the door frame to keep himself from accidentally stumbling in and scaring you and ruining what seems to be a private moment 
it’s just that seeing you in your dress again is triggering a sudden flood of memories of your guys’ wedding day into his mind and it’s making his heart feel all funny (it’s actually just heartburn from the wagyu steak he wolfed down earlier) 
the corners of yoongi’s mouth immediately raise in a fond smile at the recollection of you staring up at him with so much love in your eyes as he slid the silver ring onto your finger 
it was a beautiful ceremony
the food was great
the champagne was fabulous
the after-party was super fun 
the after-after party where it was just you and him alone was definitely fun as well 
he can still recall the scent of you all over him when he woke up the next morning 
and obviously the honeymoon was great - who doesn’t like paris?! 
not to mention, you still look just as beautiful as you did on the day the two of you said i do
maybe it’s just because the alcohol is making him feel all goopy inside but he wants to be a part of whatever moment you’re having!!! 
“i’m pretty sure it’s bad luck for me to see you in your wedding dress before the wedding, darling.” yoongi pushes the door open with a creak and takes his bottom lip in between his teeth to keep himself from smiling too widely, “want me to close my eyes?”
“yoongi!” you gasp, pulling your veil up and over your head as you spin around quickly, “god, i don’t understand how your footsteps are so quiet- i really think i should put a bell on you or something-”
“what are you doing?” yoongi interrupts, tilting his head curiously as he offers you a soft smile, “hopefully not wearing your dress so you can run off and marry someone else.”
“no, obviously not-” you snort, rolling your eyes and shaking your head, “i was doing some cleaning earlier and i found the box and… i don’t know, i wanted to see if i could still fit into it and… well-” you sigh, turning back around to look at yourself in the mirror before flopping your arms down in defeat, “it doesn’t zip all the way up anymore.”
“to be fair, you’ve given birth to a child since our wedding.” yoongi raises a brow, glancing down at the zipper that’s stuck halfway up your back, “even if you didn’t fit into it at all it would still be totally fine-”
“yeah, but i had to suck in a lot just to get the stupid zipper up halfway-!” you whine quietly, pouting at yourself in the mirror before gesturing to your chest, “one sneeze and my boobs are going to pop out-”
“i wouldn’t be opposed to that-”
“you know, maybe i should’ve had spanx embedded into the dress instead of it being 100% silk because silk is not a very forgiving material-”
“oh, baby…” yoongi chuckles, slinking his arms around you from behind before leaning down to prop his chin up on your shoulder, “don’t be so hard on yourself! your body literally made a human being- forgive it if it can’t fit into a dress from, like, three years ago…”
“i guess…” you trail off, leaning back a little to rest your head against yoongi’s as you continue looking at yourself in the mirror with a pitiful little frown on your face, “it’s just hard to feel beautiful when i can’t fit into most of my old clothes…”
“hey, you cut that out right now.” the smile immediately drops from yoongi’s face and he frowns at you in the mirror disapprovingly, “so what if you can’t fit into the dress anymore? you’re beautiful and like, really hot and- and even after all this time i’m still super head-over-heels in love with you and you could be wearing a potato sack and i would still think you were the most beautiful woman to ever walk the planet and- and i love y-” 
“alright, you drunk, i get it.” you giggle lightly, reaching up to pat the side of yoongi’s warm face, “i love you more.”
“good.” yoongi smiles contently when it seems like you’ve cheered up a little from his (very good and extremely persuasive, in his opinion) pep talk, “love you most.” he murmurs, turning to press a kiss to your palm
“mhm. you reek of wine, by the way-” you wrinkle your nose playfully, letting yoongi sway you back and forth gently before reaching down to pat at his hand, “i think we should get you into the shower and then into bed.”
“i think we should get we into the shower and then into bed.” yoongi corrects you, pausing for a second to think over his words, “yeah. that makes sense.”
…,..,we should get we into the shower and then into bed…..,,.
that totally makes sense
you know what he means 
“i’m only joining you so that you don’t pass out halfway through and end up falling asleep against the wall like you did last time.” you remind him, though it’s obvious he’s hardly paying attention to what you’re saying because he’s too busy nipping at the side of your neck  
“mm. hey, you know what the best part is about the zipper not going all the way up?” yoongi grins, one of his arms sliding back from your waist so he can reach for the zipper, “it makes it much easier for me to get you out of this dress.”
🎙️help me help you make your wishes come true (send me a request!)
✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here? (full fics!) 
💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles!)
🌟or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!) 
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flickeringart · 3 years
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Saturn and narcissism
Many people have a faulty perception as to what narcissism really is. It is usually described in terms of overt behavior of self-aggrandizement, vanity and excessive self-love. This would be the over-simplified and non-helpful way to describe it, because it doesn’t pinpoint the reason for, or encompass the complexity of this character trait or “personality disorder”. When it comes to narcissism, the overt self-inflation is not really what it seems because it doesn’t spring from a true sense of grandeur. It stems from a deep sense of lack and insecurity, which the person has over-compensated for. There’s a difference between a person who is genuinely self-loving and someone who needs to focus excessively on the self and one’s success in order to not feel inferior. 
Saturn (and Capricorn for that matter) in the natal chart seems to me to be in line with what one could label “narcissism” because he is generally associated with struggle and deprivation. Saturn is indicative of a psychic lack, which can manifest itself in different ways depending on the sign placement, house placement and aspects made to other planets. Usually, there’s deep inadequacy that is felt, some void that is not filled and coped with through clever defenses. I’d like to think that most people have narcissistic traits; I have certainly not met a single person that hasn’t displayed some kind of cold and walled-off behavior. Of course, this doesn’t mean that everyone can be said to have the personality disorder, but, everyone has Saturn somewhere in their chart and his placement indicates where we have built the most rigid defenses, where we are painfully serious and where we are the most vulnerable. It is also the place where we feel the most undeveloped and infantile, and it’s often hidden behind a façade of competence or proclaimed superiority (or inferiority designed to instill guilt in other people for being better or more “accomplished”).
Narcissistic individuals can be very controlling, manipulative, false and uncaring. They can lead double lives and twist the truth to their liking. This is understandable since they are buffering themselves from a (seemingly) permanent inner wound and can’t live their lives from a place of authenticity – the pain of the void in annihilating and needs to be covered over. Feelings of guilt and shame are usually carefully contained within, but sometimes these surface in response to something small, and there’s an over-reaction that is obviously stemming from something more serious than the “superficial” trigger. Typically, people who are involved with this person feels like they have to walk on eggshells around them and might become hyper alert as to not say something that would provoke the narcissistic injury. The rage storms, critique, pessimism, skepticism and double messages are commonly displayed within personal relationships, rather than publicly, but there certainly are cold, competitive and authoritarian people in the work place and on the public arena as well. The negative traits are typically mixed with charming and likable qualities that cause confusion and cognitive dissonance in others.
In extreme cases of narcissism, to the point where it could appropriately be labeled a disorder, the person might be unable to be in touch with any sense of guilt or remorse for inflicting other people pain. This coldness is more often than not an adaptation to a very unforgiving and controlling early environment that caused the individual to put up high walls between the self and other people. When emotions are continuously taken advantage of and there’s no room for developing something real, the person must emotionally disconnect from life because the world is ruthless and non-conducive to well-being. The price for walling oneself off is internal isolation, emotional starvation and deep depression – but it’s sometimes better to be “voluntarily” starving than to be starved by the world. Although lack is usually seen as a bad thing, it comes with its own hidden treasure. It invites the opportunity to build something that is resilient and reliable that will stand the test of time, something that isn’t reliant on circumstances to exist. If anything, Saturn lends itself to being self-motivated because everyone in the external is a threat and would take pleasure (even if it’s not admitted to) in seeing another fail. Humans are quick to take delight, however slight, in another person’s relative disadvantage and weakness. People feed off of the pain of others, to varying degrees of severity.
In my own experience, I’ve found that people can be very nice and encouraging and openly supportive, only to make you feel at ease, and then they use that openness to that they’ve created in order to disempower you through instilling doubt and shame when it suits them. This is exactly how Saturn works. His function is to disarm the “opponent” (everyone is a potential threat) in order to protect the personal ego from facing annihilation. His attempt is essentially to strip away everything that isn’t real and pure within through playing the devil’s advocate. People play this ruthless game of the “devil” with each other all the time – especially when they feel vulnerable and need to drag someone down in the pit of self-doubt with them. People point out each other’s shortcomings, their deficiencies, their falsity and their hypocrisy. No one is as keen to point out the wrong doings of others than the Saturnian because he is striving for realness and substance. Everything that is built on shaky ground will be destroyed in his presence. The same can be said about the narcissistic individual – he will accuse others of being or doing the very things he is afraid are his own sins, primarily to deflect the shame, but also to test the other person’s realness or integrity. That which shatters under pressure is not very reliable and the Saturnian is looking for quality and substance. The sad thing is that just about anything can be dismantled and broken in this world – except that which can’t. What that is exactly is for people to find out for themselves.
It is often said that people with narcissism live in a false reality where everything is taken personally and the slightest hint at criticism and disapproval will tip them over into frenzy. The reaction isn’t false nor is it purely due to living in a false reality; it is a fact that people in general aren’t full-fledged saints. I have yet to meet a person that is so completely void of an ego that they don’t have any sore spots and won’t bite back if they feel that they’ve been attacked. I also haven’t met any person who has 100% altruistic motives. People nudge and coax each other all the time, which can be seen as quite innocent, but it still stems from a desire to get one’s own way. In a sense, one could claim that people only seem to care about another if there has been some kind of identification and projection of inner subconscious qualities on the other – and even that is not true caring because one really does it for the self, even if it doesn’t seem like it because it’s unconscious. A narcissistic individual with apparent difficulty to include other’s well-being as their own is perhaps more capable to do something purely altruistic because it would not give them any pleasure to be “selfless”. In other words, there is no secondary gain in genuinely acting in someone else’s best interest for these types – not even emotional satisfaction. Empathy that comes naturally is beautiful, but when it doesn’t and has to be acquired against all odds, there’s opportunity for great growth. This opportunity is character building and humbling – it really is the opportunity of building something of substance from the ground up.
Lack is not ultimately a bad thing if its treasures are valued instead of dismissed and ignored as meaningless. Being “without” is an opportunity if one can stretch one’s perception beyond the discomfort of the present. The psychic void of shame that is felt can only be filled from the inside. By cutting out the middle man (that is, “external supply”) the person becomes truly self-sufficient and non-complacent in dealing with life. Saturn is not a bad planet per se, even though it is traditionally labeled “malefic”. It simply requires more consciousness on the part of the individual and more deliberate effort. Narcissism can be a byproduct of the Saturnian dynamic, but its ugliness can be a blessing in disguise.
—————
Note: I’m not ”blaming astrology” for causing a mental disorder in this post, I’m simply exploring the Saturnian archetype and how it correlates with certain behaviors. I don’t believe any planet ”causes” specific behavior but I think that it can point to an underlying archetypal pattern at the core of certain behavioral dynamics. As stated, Saturn is representative of lack, defences and restriction in astrology - which are all necessary psychological functions. Like any function, they can be effective and healthy, but there’s always a downside to any function. I’m exploring the downside in this post.
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naowhy · 2 years
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I Remember (Druig Fic)
Oh man, sorry for being gone for so long. I am actually at peak end of semester where assignments and the overwhelming dread of finals drowning me. Anyways I really really appreciate all the support that I’ve gotten in the prologue that I had posted a while ago as honestly i didn’t know if anyone would really want to read my writing anymore as ive been pretty crusty after all my highschool work and also the dark days of wattpad fandiction h a h a . And not only that, I didn’t think this trope was quite lovable to most audiences as technically there is not one solid ending where MC gets the guy in the end no matter what (ending is still being planned but got a gist of it). Unrequited trope just didn’t seem like it would be an incredibly appealing trope but then again it had always been on my mind as i think it would turn out to be such a beautiful writing about raw emotions of reality because no one always gets the one they love, it’s always a bet or a gamble towards your own feelings. So, yea. I’m incredibly appreciative to see so many people who would like to read such a trope as well c: Moving on, I understand y’all wanna read what’s gonna happen next but once again i would like to thank you guys for the likes, reblogs and even replies !! And even though I am really bad at replying at those, I would definitely 100% respond to any ask HAHAHA. OKAY ENOUGH SAP, WE’RE HERE FOR ANGST.  SUMMARY : How would one go through love with an individual who’s already in love with another? You (Eternal MC) falls in love with Druig a little too late. (MC Eternal powers are eventually inspired by Apollo and Artemis) WARNINGS : None ! No need for tissues hehehehe PRONOUNCES : gender neutral, no specifics in terms of names either. COMPLETION : nope, plan on making this a long series and post it on AO3.  Chapter One
With eyes fluttering open, darkness was the only expectation made however today wasn’t the same as usual. Heart beating with a steady beat, every breath taken within the space of the Domo; they had awoken.
There wasn’t a true feeling to catch upon, they weren’t sure if it was surprise, shock or even happiness of being part of the chosen ones. As if an infant trying to calibrate their first thoughts, the sight of nine other individuals confused them at the start but with time, memories began to flood in like a steady river. They were the Eternals and with a short moment of reassurance, they knew, they were one of them as well. 
Eternals were sent to Earth with only one sole purpose, their mission; to protect human kinds from a certain monstrosity. The Deviants. Evil creatures; creatures that are roaming free on the lands of Earth with no true intelligence except to kill off the human population. The Eternals mission, to cleanse this planet of them. 
“Hello there.”
Greetings between Ikarus and Sersi had begun and through them conversations had slowly started, where somehow the voices seemed to have echoed throughout the room. Strange, being sociable was not instinctual to them but rather it was threaded closer towards introversion. Glancing at the room without much thought, another pair of eyes were caught within their laid-back gaze. Another individual had seemed to have the same idea as them. An individual who had short dark brown hair with matching eyes, Druig.
The mind manipulator, the man who could with a simple clink of their powers control even the wildest of humans, easily with nothing holding them back could be listening discreetly to even the deepest of thoughts. Fortunately, one isn’t able to do such things to another Eternal. Heart thumping. Confusion struck as they didn’t really know what happened before concentrating back to their vision, a smile. Oh how intolerable of such smile, perhaps he was just a charming one, easily swooning one’s idiotic heart. Surely had Ikarus smiled, even he would have swooned the stubbornness out of a woman, perhaps a woman who would even deny such affections towards him. Foolish isn’t it?
As long as you weren’t blind, it was obvious to notice that Druig’s smile was not meant towards their direction and with a quick glance it could easily be identified to be towards the other Eternal in the opposite direction. Makkari.
The speedster, through the short moments of observations, it was obvious that she was deaf; as if the sign language was not in any way obvious. Memories were even more of a proof with the flow to be supporting such statements, the deaf speedster. She roams the world free of thoughts, only seeking the life free from boredom, free from anything that could bind her to the ground, any chains that would lock her down. Mischievous, Makkari would do anything in her will to seek out what she wants even breaking some rules here and there. Fun no?
Her smirk as she looked back at the dark brunette, Druig. Their playful personalities bouncing off of each other. Perhaps like minded people really are a match made in heaven; if a place such as heaven even exists. That mischievous click, quickly drew Druig in and they knew immediately; what a match. Makkari gorgeous looks and teasing self with ease caught the mind controller’s attention and with no surprise, Druig’s playful smirk and charming self had played into the mind of the super speed brunette with no powers needed to come into play. It hurt, somehow. 
Raising their right palm to face them as they seemed to have disappeared within the crowd of people. Cold. The room and atmosphere was cold. Even though they were part of the group, they seemed to be the odd one out; everyone else deep in their own conversations. Ikarus with Sersi, Druig with Makkari, Sprite with Kingo, Thena with Gilgamesh, Ajak with Phastos. Where were they supposed to fit in? Was there just an odd piece in the Eternal’s puzzle piece? 
It was as if time had been frozen for them, questions flooded in like a heavy river, slowly pulling them into a dark pool of questions that seemed unanswerable. Empty. Hollow was perhaps the better phrase to describe how they had felt and maybe they would’ve delved into that deep dark hole of anxiety before Ajak had quickly pulled them out of it.
“Are you alright young one?”
Her voice was crisp. A tear within her paper-like mind had appeared and Ajak's face was finally registered within a few blinks. Noticing that not Ajak was looking with concern, the other Eternals had halted in their own conversations as well to turn towards them and through that, they realised that there was a possibility that they had been closing their eyes.
“Yes, I am quite alright. Sorry for worrying you Ajak.”
Their words clear, affirmed and calm, as if whatever worries that came through like a storm had blown away through a gentle breeze. Strange how one could conceal such sensations within a few seconds. A phenomena that they could never explain, the odd feeling that had struck them once that would never truly go away. Pulling themselves together, it was fine, they assured themselves within their own comfort of their mind.
Gazing around the room, they attempt to prod conversation with some of the other Eternals in the room. Walking up towards perhaps the least intimidating individual of the room, Ajak. They greeted well and had calmly reassured the leader of the group that they were feeling much better now.
“I got really worried there just now! You seemed like you were going to faint any minute.”
Chuckles blew out of Ajak after the reassurance, her thoughtfulness and tender-heart were the first few thoughts that had popped into said mind. Reliable was maybe another phrase that could have been used however Ajak just emits a warmth that one could not simply describe with ease. Motherly perhaps.
“Sorry to have worried you, the ship ride had made me a little dizzy I guess haha.”
Her words were laced with worry as she looked towards them with pure concern, with much care towards how the individual felt. The individual had just nodded with a smile  before they began in more casual conversations, such as life on Olympus before the mission, what they'll do on earth when given downtime. Giggles and chuckles could be heard here and there as they shared their thoughts. Ajak was like a motherly figure towards them, selfless, gentle and tender-hearted. A warm soft embrace that welcomes all with no discrimination.
Oh how they long for that soft embrace, perhaps the memories of a motherly figure had been long gone-- their travels had hardened their personalities in order to strengthen them and prepare to be soldiers to better serve their God, Arishem. It was a strange feeling that they could not quite place a finger towards to. The surrounding individuals, always familiar yet the distance they felt was unexplainable, something within grasp yet it was gradually leaving their palms.
Oh how they’ll miss it.
Pepo tag !!  @makkari-my-beloved  @luvhiddlespugh @xoxoloverb   edeninhell
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shark-wrangler · 2 years
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Cathar Headcanons Masterpost 2.0
(Now with 20% more facts I made up and 40% less meandering!)
But still definitely some meandering. Under a readmore so I don’t do-you-love-the-color-of-cathar your dash.
General
Cathar are basically felids evolved to fill a similar evolutionary niche to humans in the absence of any viable primate species on their native planet, in the same way hyenas evolved to fill a niche normally occupied by canids. 
They're mainly persistence hunters but not terribly efficient ones outside their home planet, mainly because rather than specializing they evolved to be kinda good at both persistence hunting and the more traditionally feline sprinting sneak attack. In terms of both speed and strength they can outperform humans on average in the short term, but have noticeably less stamina. They greatly outmatch any quadrupedal felids for stamina, though. (Mandalorians are an invasive species and in this essay I will...)
They run hotter than humans, around 100-102F.
Though height varies quite a bit across the species, cathar are taller on average than humans and build muscle more easily, making them extremely formidable opponents in hand-to-hand combat.
While they do have elongated canines, their teeth are more even in size than wild felids, and while they do still have barbed tongues, the texture is more similar to a domestic cat than anything of comparable size (ie. if one licks you for some reason it will feel sandpaper-y and weird, but they won’t take your skin off). They also have somewhat thinner skin than wild cats, though they are still more damage resistant than humans.
They have broad non-retractable claws rather than humanlike fingernails. Many cathar choose to either dull them or file them down for convenience but any who find themselves in close combat regularly usually prefer to keep them sharp. Either way they require different maintenance than human nails. They’ve also got pads on their palms, soles, and fingertips that are highly resistant to wear/damage compared to human skin.
They’re plantigrade but only have four toes on each foot arranged more symmetrically than on humans, in keeping with the general layout of felids and also because it is so much easier to draw.
They have approximately lion-like tails used in both balance and communication, and I will personally fistfight George Lucas about this.
They have tapeta lucida, which gives them excellent night vision and makes them very unsettling to encounter in the dark. Their pupils are rounded rather than slitted, and they have roughly the same range of color vision as humans, but they can also see a limited degree into the UV spectrum. They presumably evolved the ability to see red that most felids lack after they developed a more omnivorous diet, but red-green colorblindness is more common than in humans (and seen noticeably more often in northern-type cathar than southern).
Flagrant Bullshitting About Genetics
Wookieepedia describes Cathar as “a planet of savannas and rough uplands” but because I dislike the “single-biome planet” trope and also have very little grasp of geology, my vague headcanon is that Cathar at least has a tropical equator that’s primarily desert and savanna where the cathar species originated, and frozen poles that some of them later migrated to, resulting in there being basically two general types of cathar. They’re not genetically different enough to be subspecies and operate more like different races of human, and there’s a good chance there was more variety before 90% of the species was wiped out, but while they kept apace with galactic technological development they weren’t as thoroughly dominant a species on their own planet as humans are on Earth, and fairly large areas of the planet were unpopulated, at least by anything sapient.
They’re more adjacent to felinae than panthera, and are capable of purring and growling but not roaring. They don’t meow in the typical cat sense, not because they can’t but because meowing, in their species, evolved into speaking. Cathar don’t meow at each other for the same reason you don’t walk up to people and start making chimp noises (I mean, probably, I don’t know your life).
The two types, which I refer to as “northern” and “southern” because I’m from the northern hemisphere of Earth and incredibly lazy, are still recognizable by distinct traits even in SWTOR Times, with the southern type (thought to be the original) having shorter, sleeker fur, larger ears, a tendency toward lankier, more slender build, and coloration that favors deeper, warmer colors and vivid markings. The northern type tend to be less dramatic in color with a lot of pale greys and a prevalence of blue/dilute/silver genes, and lean more heavyset with smaller, shorter ears. Most cathar with northern heritage have a long guard coat and dense, husky-like undercoats, and as a result are extremely cold-tolerant. A lot of present-day (TOR-era) cathar have combinations of traits from both but you’ll still see a fair number of them who are very obviously one or the other purely because there haven’t been enough generations since the Battle of Cathar for the lines to blur much. Strongly southern cathar are more common than northern, mostly because more of them were able to escape the planet, and some of the predominantly-northern colonies tend to be more insular (though they also tend to retain more cultural history as a result, most of it distinctly northern as well, and many still hold a massive grudge against the Mandalorians to a degree that a lot of southern cathar don’t).
They have less sexual dimorphism than SWTOR implies, though females are a little smaller on average and tend to have shorter/finer manes that are closer to their base color. In terms of relative strength/mass the difference is very minor and female cathar are still very capable of fucking you up (the conventional assumption in the Empire that females are weak/docile and males are too uncontrollable to be useful as slaves is not remotely true and probably based largely on confirmation bias). 
Tangential Empire Headcanon: blood sports/gladiatorial fights are a thing in some areas of the Imperial core worlds and popular with a lot of Sith, though not broadly advertised to the galaxy at large. Most cathar slaves not being used for labor end up doing that (usually males, due to the above misconception). It’s very rare in the Empire to find them in any other roles, as they’re considered a more “primitive” species due to their outward appearance.
I now have a whole genetics chart for cathar coloration because I cannot be stopped. I should probably be stopped.
Their manes usually grow in the same area as human hair, but can extend down the back/neck, or not extend down the sides of the head to create a mohawk-looking situation. Length varies widely, sometimes only growing to a few inches and sometimes coming down to mid-back or lower, but shoulder-length is most common in males (females usually have much shorter manes and sometimes they don’t noticeably have one at all), and they frequently grow out in a mullet-like shape. Some cathar will style/trim their manes or clip them down completely, but most can get by with relatively little maintenance beyond brushing.
The rate at which cathar have twins is significantly higher than humans, around 20%. Newborn kittens are also a little smaller and less developed than human babies and require a lot of close attention for the first month or so, after which they become more resilient and catch up with humans in terms of development. They also start speaking a bit later, but begin picking up nonverbal communication around when humans start on speech (if raised by adoptive humanoid parents, their speech development will be on par with a human child but they’ll have heavily underdeveloped nonverbal communication unless socialized with other cathar, which can lead to difficulty relating to their own species later)
Until the onset of puberty, cathar have softer, downy kitten fur and no mane. Some kittens are born with markings that fade when their adult coat grows in (usually an indicator that they’ll have ghost markings as adults), others might gain more vivid and defined markings or shift darker/lighter in color. While a lot of parents will trim their kittens’ coats to keep them clean more easily and avoid mats, it’s broadly acknowledged that clipping a kitten’s coat down too far can mess with the growth pattern of their coat in adulthood and cause areas that stick out or grow in odd directions, especially in northern-type coats. Sometimes the problem corrects itself after they shed out a few times, sometimes they just have to invest in styling products or live with it. I didn’t base this on cats for the record this is not grooming advice for cats.
Food
They’re obligate carnivores and have different nutritional needs from humans (similar but not identical to those of a cat), which can be a problem in places like the military where standardized rations are the norm. In the Republic a cathar can usually put in a request for rations designed to accommodate carnivores (or supplements, failing that), though they might have some trouble on more isolated or under-supplied planets. The rare cathar in the Imperial military will have to procure supplements out of pocket. Later in the timeline when aliens in the military become more common it’s technically possible to get reimbursed for it, if they’re willing to wade through the paperwork, but Imperial rations remain human-formulated only.
Cathar are perfectly capable of eating raw meat with no ill effects, and have a whole genre of cuisine centered around it. They also have plenty of ways of cooking meat.
Their “natural” diet apart from meat mainly consists of fruit, root vegetables, dairy, and bird eggs, though the closer to the poles you get the less likely you are to encounter fruit in a dish, and the more likely you are to encounter milk products. Cathar never cultivated grain and it holds no meaningful nutritional value for them, so bread, rice, and similar products simply do not appear in traditional cuisine. This does not stop some of them from eating grain products in small amounts, as they can still enjoy the taste, but it isn’t any healthier than processed sugar is to humans and they have a high rate of gluten intolerance as a species.
All cathar have a heightened and refined ability to detect savory/umami type flavors, but around 30-40% of cathar, mostly those with northern heritage whose ancestors just didn’t evolve around fruit, have no taste receptors for sweetness at all. This has resulted in the cathar equivalent of the Cilantro Debate centering around desserts, even though they’re all perfectly aware that it’s genetic, and some who can’t taste sweetness still enjoy desserts for the other flavors in them. Those who can taste sweetness are usually about as sensitive to it as humans, though some have dulled sensitivity. 
Citrus smells horrendous and overwhelmingly strong to them.
They require somewhat less water than humans and can survive longer without it. As with cats, they can also process saltwater much more efficiently than humans and can, for a while, stay hydrated from it.
Social/Cultural Minutiae
They use a fair amount of feline body language, particularly within their own species. While facial expressions play a part in communication and they do smile, scowl, and generally express broad emotions, they have a reduced range of facial mobility compared to more humanoid species and no eyebrows to speak of, which leads to a lot of them having what humans perceive as resting bitch face. It also results in humans underestimating the range and depth of their emotions, and can be a problem with human medics/doctors who haven’t been trained to work with less humanoid aliens and won’t necessarily recognize signs of severe pain or distress.
Their ears are less articulated than a cat’s due to positioning, but still have some degree of mobility that serves more of a social function than a practical one. They also express a lot of emotion through their tails, to the point that it can be a detriment if they haven’t practiced consciously keeping control of it.
Bumping foreheads is a common way to express platonic/familial affection, or can be the equivalent of a chaste kiss between partners. They also squint and slow blink like cats do, though it doesn’t always translate clearly to other species.
They have a wider range of vocalization than humans; while their voices are mostly humanlike and they’re just as articulate, they can also growl, purr, and make sounds outside human hearing range. Those raised among humans or near-humans tend to do this less, if at all, while cathar raised in more insular communities of their own kind can come off as taciturn due to heavier reliance on nonverbal communication.
Sense of smell is much stronger and more refined than a human’s and plays a more significant role in how they perceive and navigate the galaxy. They can occasionally be mistaken for Force-sensitive by humans due to their knack for picking up on emotional distress or the presence of particular species/people by scent. This is more true with people they’re familiar with; they won’t pick out distinct members of another species by default but can reliably identify the scent of a friend or anyone else they spend a lot of time around.
The exception to the above is other cathar, who they can easily tell apart as individuals by scent. They have scent glands around the jaw/neck that come into play for identification, conveying broad emotional states, in some situations can aid medical diagnoses, among other things. They also play a part in building connection and familiarity between friends, family, or romantic partners.
There’s an entertaining but widely-dreaded stage of cathar kitten development, which usually begins when they start learning motor skills and ends mercifully quickly once they’re in the forming-sentences stage of verbal language learning, where their one and only method of problem-solving is to start rapidly smacking whatever is causing them distress until it goes away or stops distressing them. Problems that are considered slap-worthy vary widely from kitten to kitten, including but not limited to a parent trying to get them into a bathtub, an insect that’s in their immediate area, food they don’t want to eat, an object that hurt when they tried to interact with it, an object that happens to be a color they don’t like, the Wrong Parent trying to comfort them, a piece of furniture they bumped into, their own limbs that aren’t doing what they want, and many more. Their claws at this stage are soft and there’s very little actual damage they can do, and it’s a healthy and important stage of kitten development, but first words are universally met with relief by cathar parents, who are usually ecstatic by then that they’ll soon be able to parent their child without getting bapped on the nose.
I’ve thrown the whole “cathar mate for life” idea out the window because I mean. They’re cats. While individual bonded pairs are a thing and they’ll often have someone they consider a primary partner, cathar are really good at nonmonogamy and prone to forming large, complex polycules and families that vary widely in size and structure. It’s also common for them to never have any formal partners at all and simply jump between isolated hookups, and some are perfectly content never to do anything else. Kittens are raised communally within families, and most of them will have more than two individuals they consider parental figures (sometimes in the form of multiple mothers and/or fathers, but family units can contain any combination of romantic partners, aunts and uncles, and assorted godparents who might be helping with kitten-rearing, as well as various grandparents). They don’t culturally have their own marriage practices, though many relationships are lifelong and an informal exchange of meaningful items/gifts as a show of love and commitment is common in some cathar culturs, but since leaving their home planet some have adopted the idea from other cultures, particularly if they’ve formed a bond with some other species of alien that does practice it.
The Horny Section
Cathar don’t really kiss the way humans do among themselves. Their equivalent is gentle biting around the neck and jaw, which is another situation where the scent glands are relevant. When aroused that whole area becomes an erogenous zone. Cathar raised/socialized around humans or near-humans do usually know how to kiss and do so with non-cathar partners, but the whole sandpaper tongue and fangs situation means that a lot of humanoids prefer not to attempt anything more than a very short and chaste kiss.
They tend to be very bitey in general unless specifically asked not to. It only becomes a problem if the cathar in question is inexperienced with humanoids and hasn’t figured out how much bite force is acceptable for a species with thinner, more sensitive skin.
Their dicks are fairly humanoid in size and shape, though somewhat more conical at the head, but they have a sheath rather than a foreskin. After maturity they don’t actually retract into the sheath more than about two inches when flaccid, and tend to be a bit less sensitive than the average human (same keratinization factor that affects circumcised humans). It also makes them more vulnerable to damage, but since it’s customary to wear pants on most civilized planets, that never really becomes a problem in the course of a normal day. The base of the shaft that’s usually covered by the sheath has much higher sensitivity and cathar are generally thrilled when they encounter someone who actually knows that and doesn’t assume they experience sensation exactly like a human.
Conventional understanding is that cathar dicks don’t have barbs, which is true the vast majority of the time, though about 60% of them have some amount of vestigial non-keratinous bumps over their head that have no noticeable affect on anything aside from slightly increased sensitivity. Rarely an individual might develop a few actual barbs at the onset of puberty, but they have no practical function and pose a risk of discomfort and injury, and can easily be removed via a fast and mostly painless medical procedure, so the number of adults who have them is close to zero.
Females do have (mild, and mainly not at all disruptive) heat cycles. Other cathar can generally tell by scent, but not to a distracting degree, and it’s considered rude and inappropriate to point it out with anyone but a close friend or partner. They can be suppressed with some forms of hormonal birth control and plenty choose to. It should go without saying that males don’t have heat cycles, but I’ve gotten enough weird DMs about this to know that I need to say it. Unless said male is trans and not on any sort of HRT, heat cycles are not a thing.
Females kind of have breasts, in that they’re present and obvious while they’re actively nursing a kitten, but they’re flat chested or nearly most of the time. Cathar also technically have eight nipples but only the top two are functional, or visually noticeable unless you’re severely violating their personal space.
Cathar tend to be stereotyped by humans as being rough domineering alpha types in bed, probably because of the biting and the average height difference (and, especially in Imperial space, the perception of them as a more “primitive” species due to their less humanoid appearance/mannerisms). While cathar like that exist just as humans like that exist, the stereotype does not hold up in reality and they have as wide a range of preferences as any sapient species.
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