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diorsluv · 7 days

Text

casual , part 7

“ you said ‘we’re not together’ ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by vivianliu, dylanduke25, and 100,299 others

yourusername i’m on that hot girl shit

view all comments

username91 the mirror pics 🤭🤭

username40 gimme sum of the hot girl shit babe 🙏

lhughes_06 yes queen be confident!! don’t let my douchebag of a best friend bring down your happiness

→ yourusername who are you and what have you done to my brother

→ mackie.samo limp wrist culture

→ markestapa 🍊🍓🍎🫐🍐🥭🥝🍏🍋

→ dylanduke25 fruit bowl alert

→ rutgermcgroarty 😟

→ lhughes_06 STOP THIS I BEG OF YOU

_quinnhughes i have a few friends who want to get to know you a bit better

→ yourusername wait a second..

→ _quinnhughes yes i know i never let you talk to guys 😑 BUT THIS IS AN EXCEPTION.

→ yourusername is it what i think it is 😱

→ jackhughes WAIT WHAT WE DIDNT AGREE TO THIS

→ lhughes_06 THIS WAS NOT UNANIMOUSLY DECIDED

→ _quinnhughes THIS IS A ONE TIME THING ONLY yourusername

rutgermcgroarty yay

→ yourusername ☺️

→ rutgermcgroarty 😁

→ yourusername 🥰

→ rutgermcgroarty 🤗

→ lhughes_06 what the hell is this

→ luca.fantilli goddammit they’re communicating in emojis again

_alexturcotte AYEEEE NICE

trevorzegras SHES BACK??

→ yourusername IM BACK

→ trevorzegras are you happy

→ yourusername i’m happy!

→ jackhughes she’s not happy she called me last night bawling her eyes out

→ yourusername THAT WAS STRICTLY SIBLING BUSINESS jackhughes

username48 who’s gonna tell her she looks absolutely GORGEOUS

username93 drop the workout routine babe

→ username22 fr i’m tryna get a waist like that

luca.fantilli i think someone might feel a bit regretful

→ yourusername i wonder who 🤨

→ luca.fantilli i think you know who

→ yourusername i won’t know unless he tells me himself

→ luca.fantilli IM TRYING TO HELP YOU

vivianliu oh my god

vivianliu mother

vivianliu you’re so hot

liked by yourusername

vivianliu who needs your little boy toy when you have MEEEE

→ yourusername ‼️‼️

→ lhughes_06 i’d rather you date her instead of him

→ jackhughes me too

markestapa he has so much pride i apologize

→ yourusername 🤷‍♀️

→ yourusername you know how i am with my toxic men

→ _quinnhughes yeah you’re obsessed yourusername

→ trevorzegras LMAOOO

→ mackie.samo goddamn 😭

→ vivianliu stop don’t do her like that

→ _alexturcotte violation.

→ dylanduke25 💀💀

colecaufield hello i see those are the headphones i generously gifted you out of the kindness of my heart

→ yourusername i dont like where ur going with this.

→ colecaufield I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING

→ yourusername U SOUND LIKE UR GONNA SAY SOMETHING

→ jackhughes he wants you to go watch him play when they play the wings on thursday

→ colecaufield JACK.

→ yourusername AWWW OF COURSE I WILL (can you get me good tickets 🤨)

→ colecaufield i already got you behind the bench don’t worry

username14 i’m afraid you ABSOLUTELY ATE 💕

username55 mom and dad are fighting again

→ username71 mom and dad??? they didnt even hard launch babe 😭😭

edwards.73 nice

this comment has been deleted

edwards.73

liked by adamfantilli, markestapa, and 93,447 others

edwards.73 spent time with the #1 bro tn

tagged: markestapa

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dylanduke25 i always knew you had favoritism

→ edwards.73 it’s true mark’s my favorite

→ dylanduke25 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DENY IT

→ edwards.73 my mom said never lie

→ markestapa i love you too babe 🥰🥰 edwards.73

→ edwards.73 😘

username36 this is so frat boy

adamfantilli this is completely unfair

→ edwards.73 you berated me last night on ft

→ adamfantilli BRO SHE’S MY BEST FRIEND BY ASSOCIATION

username16 i’m waiting for you and rosie to make up

username5 ethan’s cheating with mark 😱

mackie.samo let’s address the allegations

→ edwards.73 hell no

→ dylanduke25 what allegations?? 😟

lhughes_06 why can’t you just stop beating around the bush for once

jackhughes i hope you know she cries herself to sleep every night

→ yourusername stop exaggerating it was one time 😒

username17 listen to the hughes ethan please 🙏

username3 i’m so confused what’s going on

vivianliu you should’ve spent tonight with her

→ edwards.73 well i didn’t so 🤷‍♂️

→ vivianliu oh my god you drive me insane just make up and fuck already

→ markestapa what’s with the change of heart vivian 🤨🤨

→ vivianliu i give up

colecaufield 👍

→ edwards.73 🙏

username45 ayeee that’s what we like to see

username90 whyd you post a mirror pic too

→ username22 can he not post a mirror selfie?? 😭

_alexturcotte just makeup and makeout

→ trevorzegras whaaat 🤯

→ edwards.73 thought you were so against me what happened

→ _alexturcotte we’re so tired of you two

luca.fantilli am i #2 at least 🥹🥹🥹

→ edwards.73 yes bro ur #2 🙄

→ adamfantilli #2 literally means shit

→ rutgermcgroarty awww luca you’re shit 🥰

→ luca.fantilli hahaha ur so funny

yourusername stop ignoring me please

username37 ethan and mark best duo ⁉️⁉️

username74 let’s talk about the fact that that’s a whole ass mural in a house???

→ username59 frat house go crazy

_quinnhughes stop ignoring her ethan

→ edwards.73 i’m not

trevorzegras should’ve invited me fr

→ edwards.73 buddy you’re on the other side of the country

→ trevorzegras PLEASEEEE 🥺🥺🥺🥺

→ edwards.73 ew god no

username16 this is so old chase atlantic coded

→ username44 LIKE THE NOSTALGIA EP??

→ username60 YEAAA

rutgermcgroarty PLEASE she’s sobbing uncontrollably and i know it’s killing you too

→ edwards.73 mmmm

→ rutgermcgroarty i see you on life360 outside her apartment dont even try to act all mysterious and shit

→ edwards.73 STOP STALKING ME??

→ rutgermcgroarty if i don’t see you still at her apartment when i wake up in the morning i’ll make sure you never wake up again

→ adamfantilli calm down rut 😭

→ colecaufield i see you’re a bit protective aren’t you rutgermcgroarty

→ mackie.samo why are we threatening each other

→ lhughes_06 okay why are his words effective but mine aren’t 😔😔

→ markestapa what the hell is going on

→ dylanduke25 FIGHT??

→ jackhughes more like a murder dylanduke25

→ vivianliu i stand by rut ‼️

username20 please just have makeup sex already i want the old posts back

→ username2 yeah i think they’re doing that 💀

next chapter notes ) soooo yes they’re a little toxic but i love my toxic men 🥴

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

#ethan edwards #ethan edwards fanfic #ethan edwards fic #ethan edwards x reader #ethan edwards x y/n #quinn hughes #jack hughes #trevor zegras #alex turcotte #cole caufield #dylan duke #luke hughes #mackie samoskevich #mark estapa #adam fantilli #rutger mcgroarty #luca fantilli

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beatcroc · 24 days

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Okay I finally generated an ask for you!!!!

What is your favourite genre of music? Or if you don't know how to categorize the music you listen to (like me), what is your favourite song? Or band? Or album? Something like that.

ohhhhh #1 question i am categorically incapable of being normal about <3

i typically just define my favorite music as "loud" or "aggressive" or "abrasive" bc most stuff that fits those descriptors will be in my faves regardless of the genre.

a more specific answer is that there are 3 main things i've noticed that will typically make me go apeshit without fail and they are: 1. hardstyle/gabber/industrial hardcore- sorta basskick 2. sickass metal guitar shredding 3. huge dramatic grandiose orchestral

if something has 1 of these i will probably like it, if it has 2 it will be a top fave, and all 3.... well i have yet to find it yet but im sure i will Ascend. here are examples of said top fave combos.

laur covers hardstyle+orchestral and i Cannot Get Enough of his shit man it goes so fucking crazy hard

metal+orchestral is unquestionably ruled by nightwish, but theyre not on bandcamp and i dont feel like finding other links so this one goes to the still-very-fucking-awesome runner-up, POWERWOLF

riikira and rabbitjunk hit metal+hardstyle, though it's less strictly hardstyle and more just general hardcore* electronica. if its got crazy amens its enough who cares. i put the ones that use actual kicks for the sake of illustrating the point here but these tracks are both pretty far from my faves from each lmao *hardcore referring to hardcore [edm] in this case, even though the genre these belong to is called "digital hardcore", which instead refers to hardcore [punk]. it's a mess out here. did you know theres two completely different things called doomcore where one is derived from metal and the other is derived from hardcore. and you never know which itsd going to be when you click on something in the doomcore tag. im dying squirtle

anyway on the other side of the hardstyle+metal combo is kobaryo [with his alias blaxervant], who's much more about the hardcore side of things and just has the metal as flair, but it is still: the best shit ever

laur also on occasion hits this side of hardstyle+metal becaue he just likes using whatever the fuck instruments

there are of course many other things i love a lot, primary examples being ambient/atmospheric, folk, and anything with a lot of Texture. im not gonna get into all that but i do have an extended list of faves/recs from the last time i was asked about this and went insane abt it. it took forever to make and my actual recs are not entirely the same as my Faves so im putting it on here too.

i keep these curated to the top of my bandcamp profile so they're the first things that display there. it's a bit old by now and some have since been shuffled out, but it's still like 80% accurate.

as for the actual recs: the angel's message is there because it's my fave brand of intense and chaotic stuff and want it to kill you full force. it already has some tracks up there so im not re-linking it

this one i recommend just because i think it's really interesting and out there and i'm curious what other people think of this sort of stuff. it's also the prime example of what i mean when i talk about Textures in music.

wolfgun is an actual rec for being genuinely just really good music. probably the most objectively cool/platonically enjoyable thing in my library

#i could keep going. u kno. forever. i didnt even touch on harsh noise #noise falls under hardstyle AND ambient AND Textures to me but its also its own thing depending on the approach #by the by i also have @bassgator on here for music sharing but i keep falling out of using it #also i always reblog stuff from there to here to add comments anyway #edit: changed the powerwolf track bc the first one wasnt working. rip 'venom of venus' you can go get it on youtube or something

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bunnychargebolt · 2 months

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Im going to give my parents shaken baby syndroms Im- hhhhhhhh vent :3 (gonna put any warning stuffs in tags)

I am so just- am eepy. I want to sleep. It is fucking 2:30 in the morning. But I cannot! Because I am hungry! And my body is fucking not doing good! And I can not do anything about it because I do not have food.

But for whatever reason!! My mother!! Who eats the least in this household!! Continually has her stuff stocked!! She fucking- eats like two of the jif to go cups of peanut butter for lunch. And that is like- her lunch. And that just fucking works for her. Which is because she got fucking weight loss surgery.

Hhhhhhhhhhhh

I do not have enough food. And honestly I probably havent had enough food in months. Because instead of eating i sleep. Because my body shuts down. And I am trying *so hard* to get across to my parents that I need food. I am- hhhhh honestly prolly qualifying as anorexic speaking strictly on eating patterns. Which ik for sure my mom is.

And also my irl friend keeps talking about hes gonna starve himself. And im- hhhhh. Theres so many fucking tjings going on with him and theyre bad and I havent talked about them and im going to fucking lose my mind. But thats not even what im focused on right now.

I dont know if i can continue physical therapy. Because it is not guaranteed that i have food. And my parents say that money is tight. But my mother is constantly getting a bunch of stuff. And we have so much shit. And im- i camt handle all of this.

I cant ask for anything without being told that im asking for a lot. My mom ordered in dinner for me and my brother the other night bc she got a thing through work and i asked for what I know would be enough for me and I got told that thats too expensive. Which i understand. The cost of shit is fucking insane. But there is so much fucking focus on cost and portion size and “oh tjat costs too much” “oh youre asking for a lot” “dont forget that this is what a portion size” and even fucking talk of like calories and checking even though i ask for that to not happen.

People tell me to take some of their food because they have plenty and I get it but Im fucking terrified. My mom had locked up a shit ton of food when i was a kid including freezers. Which to this day still have the locks by them. And if im caught she wont hesitate to do it again. I cant go through that again.

I know I cant really get out. Im genuinely scared of my parents. I- cant. I cant get out. I cant leave stuff. Im terrified. Fuck i don’t remember ever not being scared of my mom in some capacity. And my dads way more passive but sometimes he yells and I just- cant do it. And i hate that what they do works. I get shoved into being this fucking doormat of a person.

Honestly I dont think I ever really got to be a person. I still dont super feel like one. I dont have complete control over myself. I dont feel like i have free will. Which sucks. I wanma be my own person. I wanna learn what itd feel like to be able to be myself for even a day. Im- just lost a lot of the time.

The only good thing I know for sure is coming out of this is that I know my depression medication works. Im pretty sure most of my issues with functioning are from malnutrition issues. And im def not suicidal or having thoughts of sh which is really nice!! Plus I know I have a very supportive group of friends online that I love very much

Wuheiwhe speaking of friends- angy about irl friend. He fucking- complained to me that he gets upset when i vent about shit at home cause hes gonna get kicked out when he turns 18. Which likw- i get it. The threat of being homeless is horrible. But if your thought process while you have fucking unwatched access to a credit card and can essentially have whatever the fuck you want while im saying i dont fucking have food at home is “well at least you have a home” IS FUCKING INSANE. Especially because you have already gathered almost $1000 in cash amd still have like 11 months to figure shit out. Your future situation sucks but that should not take away empathy for my current situation??? Where i am??? Not getting fed enough???

I understand that your homelife is shit and your family is fucked. However, you almost never get told no. Which is really fucking obvious!!! Because you wont take any of my nos for an answer!!! And tbh youre kinda financially abusive!!! I hear how you talk to your bf which is fucking insane and i hate it. And when you talk about how you pay for gas when im using my parents cars and they need to be filled and i say were driving around too much and using a lot of gas you go “well its my gas” No!! It isnt!! That is not how that works!! And just because you pay for the fucking gas WHEN YOU HAVE ME DRIVING FUCKING ALL OVER THE PLACE BECAUSE I LITERALLY CANNOT GWT YOU TO UNDERSTAND IM SAYING NO does not kean you pay for the rest of the fucking car!!! You also!! Make jokes about taking back gifts!! Because you paid for them!! Which is shitty as fuck!! And its not even your fucking koney its your grandmas money and you got fucking pissed and bitchy when Ive mentioned that when talking about it being different when one of our friends took advantage of us for money because you are just handed it and the stuff i had i workwd for, in a job that started the decline of my physical wellbeing. Its not the same fucking thing.

Shaking. I want to scream. I cant. Handle everything. I dont want to have to be here and dealing with all of this.

And anothwr fucking tjing about ky friend- he gets pissy when me or his boyfriend accidentally leave garbage in his room. Which i get a little but then he doesnt take care of it either!! And then he has shit there all the time!! Including multiple unfinished starbucks drinks that have grown mold!!! Why do you keep getting the biggest fucking size when you know damn well you wont drink it.

And you keep fucking- i cant play therapist for you. You cannot constantly come crying to le about your bf and talking about how you should break up with him AND THEN GET KAD AT ME FOR SUGGESTING YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM

Im not- i cant. Im

Im violently angry. And i want to sleep. Amd i wamt to be able to have food. And i want my oarents to love me and understand me. Or even fucking- to try. At all. I want my physical wellbeing to matter. But it doesnt. In multiple different ways. And its all just so bad all the time and i try and tune it out but it slips through.

Im having trouble remember things. Its bad. Im- i cant use my brain as well as i know i should be able to. Im- idk. I just cant fucking deal with this. Except im still going to. Im complaining but theres mot kuch i can change.

I hate feeling like im breaking all the time. I want to be able to be loved and be a person and have a home!!! I have a roof over my head. And i appreciate that so much. But this is absolutely not a home. And its very much not welcoming for me. And I just- I perpetually have the feeling of “i want to go home” with no home to go to. And its been like that for most of my life. And I just- really want to have a home.

#vent #tw vent #this was originally about ky parents but it tirned into a generalized thing #ummm #tw disordered eating #tw eating issues #financial abuse #fuckinggg #emotional abuse #???#shit gets fucky idk #my brains not- doing well #also im actively running away from server friends in this post #i love you guys #just #being vulnerable is hard and i hold back as much as i can #when were on call or whatever #scared of complaining too much and pushing people away again #pls dont leave lol

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daemonhxckergrrl · 1 year

Note

re: your ask from greyr4t about win10: as you said in your answer its free, just needs a key for 'activation.' ime activating win10 has been worth it. like you mentioned, it isnt strictly necessary, one can make do fine in a somewhat limited capacity with the watermark in the corner forever (unless your monitor is an OLED then have fun with 100% guaranteed screen burn in lmao. or unless always seeing it enrages you disproportionately. as in my case). but having windows activated is honestly just nice, it makes many things easier and is more sustainable in the long run... worth the extremely minor hassle as like a QoL thing imo. you also brought up that its possible to circumvent microsoft (and its brazenly insane asking prices 🤬) & buy cheap keys online from third parties. i wanted to talk about how i did shit, hopefully it helps the original asker directly or at least comes in handy to know

so i bought my (shady bootleg, yes, but perfectly functional for years now) win10 activation key for even cheaper than what Synthia listed as a price point- iirc, under 5 bucks USD. (might be higher now w inflation, but id be surprised if its much more than around 10.) if things still work how they used to, you can do this on ebay. technically ebays policies dont allow it, so the accounts selling these keys come and go frequently due to getting shut down by ebay after popping up. thus, dont necessarily be put off if the seller hasnt existed for long, as often thats just how it goes (or it did. hopefully this sort of thing is still going strong🤞); do trust happy reviews. now, there are a few TYPES of activation keys�� priced slightly different, nothing big– that correspond to different editions of windows 10. so basically its home edition, pro edition, and "pro for workstations". might be worth finding a brief summary of each to determine which edition best meets your needs. (there are more editions beyond the main trio, look into those too if you want, but the tldr on em is theyre for like niche markets w/ highly specific use cases.) fwiw, i got pro & am happy with it. another thing, from personal experience: may or may not be obvious but you're gonna wanna save a screenshot of your key somewhere safe and accessible. additionally though, label the screenshot somehow so you know what it is later, and if youre a disorganized scatterbrain like i am then put that in multiple places you can reliably access so if/when youre having trouble tracking it down you know where else to look; it came in handy for me to have access to it in places both online (cloud storage like google drive or dropbox for example, or even just saving the email copy of the ebay mssg in the designated folder in your email for the ones containing info you wanna save) & off (physical note on paper, stored in the files on one or more personal devices, etc). theres a huge chance youll need it again in the future– like say if you want to upgrade certain hardware– and likely more than once. final advice: highly recommend looking into comprehensive ways of "defanging" and/or "lobotomizing" windows, as they say. i.e., a tip that gets circulated is doing the initial setup for windows w your pc in airplane mode / ethernet unplugged so you dont have to make a microsoft account so they cant create a profile on you to collect your data to sell off & target ads at you (which is obvi totally reversible later if you decide the benefits of having an account outweigh the drawbacks). shit like that, plus the loads of guides out there– many here on tumblr itself– on extensive fucking around in various settings to disable bloatware / preserve privacy / other useful stuff, that can get pretty granular. i think ive even seen Synthia herself reblog posts like that here a couple times, maybe? perhaps try checking relevant-seeming tags from the tagging system in her pinned, or do a blog search for the term 'windows' and see what all there is to find

phew, anyway, jesus christ! sorry this got to be such a long writeup!!! some of this blog's aggregate of resources have been a big help to me, so i wanted to try to pay it forward a little <3 and, Synthia, if you wouldnt mind, tagging the original asker in your response to this anon so that greyr4t is more likely to see all this would be very much appreciated by me!! ty in advance!! thanks also for your careful curation of useful info on this blog, plus the helpful posts and guides youve written here for us yourself 👍🌈

hi anon ! thanks for writing all this up !! lots of great points here - hopefully they help you out @greyr4t ! the airplane mode one is real important too if you care about privacy (and the fact you can't choose to make a local account during installation unless you are disconnected from the internet is awful and yet another dark pattern-type tactic.

i'm glad my blog's been good for you <3 (though i do need to go through and make all the important stuff a bit easier to access at some point)

iirc there's some reblogs on general privacy stuff (probably under one of the REPO tags and like "net privacy" or similar) as well as my own firefox post, and maybe more will happen in the future when i get to them

#Anonymous #DATA_REQUESTS #for greyr4t

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single-malt-scotch · 1 year

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thinking about the Process of building up to where i now have this blog i think it is easy to admit i had like, an era of distaste for present day mcyt, that obviously was built on nostalgia and annoyance for a growing and mostly young fandom-- i think many can say that with things they fall out of or watch grow while theyre away from it lol. tho some of that was built off the way tumblr/ppl in general shot down much of mcyt by declaring all facets of it as 'rpf' in a very strict and not fitting way which i wanted to agree with while hating my older self's joy for it, and it took a while to unlearn.

but more than anything im glad ive distanced myself from typical fandom interaction bc it allows me to enjoy this on my own so much easier. aside from not following much of any fandom blogs and thus not seeing constant discourse on my dash, i also just dont care about shipping in the slightest and its hardly bc of my own choice to not do it-- its just that overall with every kinda fandom thing i just.... couldnt care less if one thing is popular or the other. i dont follow the tags bc i know i dont care to see whats there, and maybe im not a huge fan of some duos but in the end? i just cant care enough to be mad about it even if i dont really seek it out. its just guys...just people... theres nothing i find inherently obnoxious there and bc i set my own boundaries theres hardly an instance where i feel the need to be annoyed by the ppl who do post about it.

if i was 14 year old me in mindcrack era, you wouldve have been hearing Opinions. but im too old to care that hard about people getting paired up for whatever reasons ya know. im not even strictly living in a bubble... i still post to the tags and draw but i just know im not gonna care about a majority of the fandom's general postings so i just sit back and let it go by in the background. ive learned to just let shit go on without needing to seek it all out bc i know i dont want to see it all anyways.

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neotrances · 3 years

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hi im using this post bc people want to accuse me of things for engaging in black butler despite me making multiple posts discussing how triggering it is for me bc of being a trafficking victim myself and how much i hate the author + entire carrd i made dedicated to talking about black butlers issues

you donot get to pick and choose which csa victims you care about or defend, if i am talking about the effects of abuse and discussing the issues of the show and how it relates back to my trauma i donot need to hear from people who aren’t victims that i’m “faking” my experiences etc for seeing myself in characters or that i’m “promoting” it when i constantly say i dont want people to watch or read it for the very reasons i have listed below

a link to the card with ALL of black butlers issues, tw for mentions of pedophilia, racism, and transmisogny

main points below —

• no, the show is not a porno, if it were i as a csa victim would not be able to bare watching it as the show is already triggering for me for touching on sexual abuse, a majority of the show is regular plot with unsavory parts unfortunately sprinkled in bc the creator is a freak, i view ciel and sebastian as father and son strictly and i’ve made that clear multiple times, and have blocked god knows how many people that think sexualizing kids let alone a parental relationship is ok,

• explaining the plot

• how yana toboso the creator does not understand hypersexuality or trauma responses because she’s too busy being a freak and writing for pleasure rather than caring about victims

i donot ship minors and adults i am not okay with any form of pedophilia, that includes fictional relationships, i donot tolerate pedos anywhere near me i am not ok with any form of sexual content involving minors and the bb post i do make are about the characters being a family that’s it, there are actual pedos on this site who deserve your anger, not me, and i’ve said it countless times that i donot defend or condone people that say that bc they’re victims they can ship minors with adults or make pedophilic content, csa victims such as myself are not excused from participating in pedophilia just bc they’re victims, i know this, and i despise people that use their victim status to ‘get away’ with consuming cp of any form

literally anyone that knows me knows i donot tolerate or excuse pedophilia or transmisogny and i am always completely transparent whenever watching something that needs to be discussed critically, with that being said (hopefully u actually read the links) i donot appreciate people labeling me a predator etc for literally talking about how much i hate the pedophilic undertones to the show and making a whole carrd just to discuss that in one easy to reach place, you need to watch how you speak to victims bc it’s literally disgusting seeing the way some of you talk about and discredit us, i relate to the mcs because of our shared trauma and as always i dont recommend it to people for that very reason, i never tell anyone to engage and make it a point of avoid me or at the very least black list the tag if you choose to stick around, and with that said another reminder that this is my personal blog for me and i’m gonna post what i want i’m not making another blog to post what i want bc this is my personal blog, i don’t exist for anyone but myself and i am not a “funnyman” who makes jokes all day for your entertainment, this blog is my own and belongs to me for myself

also i do not want to hear shit from blogs that post hxh, jjba, bnha etc when all of those pieces of media have the same exact issues with pedophilia, have predator authors or some being worse (like jojo for example with lynchings, pro nazi rhetoric) we are in the same exact boat, if you donot like me or me discussing the issues with black butler you donot have to associate with me, it’s that simple, we are online remember that curating your online space is a normal thing that everyone should do

again i cannot control who follows me and i do not care about notes nor do i want popularity or anything like that i donot force anyone to follow me and encourage whole heartedly to block and unfollow for whatever reason im just sick of having accusations thrown toward me as a trafficking victim when ive stated so deeply that i donot tolerate pedophilia of any kind, and that my post regarding bb are only that of a reimagined version of the characters being family and the mc getting the help he needs to recover

#bb #bb crit #<- this tag has the rest of the post of me discussing this

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phantomrose96 · 4 years

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@snorlaxlovesme dsjdsj I hope you don’t mind if I respond to your tags for King?? They’re really really good I love them

#im sorry these tags are about to be long but there was no ao3 link so we're gonna do this here #(spoilers for this fic btw so dont read these bfore you read the fic)

#ONE #your writing is fucking fantastic #from the sensory details like the cold weather feeling clammy and the wetness on bakugo's ankles #and his hearing constantly fading in and out depending on his emotional state #to the STRUCTURE of this story #like how you show in the first couple paragraphs the (wicked wicked imagery) ''burnt wick on disembodied legs'' and thats it #and then have fujimori rewrite bakugo's memories #and then have him cleared #and THEN show us bakugo's memories of the actual events #that was way fucking cool and i just loved everything about the style of this writing

#TWO #the character interactions were awesome #how deku cried a little thinking about how all the heroes from UA weren't perfect examples of morality #how bakugo refuses to fire at deku at first and then slips when he tells him to DIE like he normally would #how cold and unforgiving todoroki is bc he KNOWS all about fujimori and what sort of cases he normally handles #the ''he's the reason my mom--/my dad--/i--'' line was heartbreaking #but then how in his last scene he's almost DESPERATE for bakugo to prove his innocence to him and make this not as bad as it seems #ahh it was all so good

#and i also just loved how you added to the universe by having fujimori exist #how they have this monster of lawyer who can get let you walk away from just about anything #and UA uses him / keeps cases like this strictly confidential to keep their record clean #idk man this whole fic was GOOD and now im SAD #sorry this whole review was in tags#

HELLO YES THANK YOU, I REALLY LOVE THIS REVIEW BECAUSE YES TO ALL OF IT.

And I’m really really happy that you listed the structure of the story as something you liked! ^^ Cuz the structure went through A LOT of reworking from the initial draft. Like the first draft kinda had Bakugou’s whole memory of the incident info-dumped in the second section. And the more and more I iterated on the draft, the more I realized that I could capitalize so much more strongly on WHAT is remembered WHEN, especially as that relates to giving the reader a slow, trickle-feed of information around what, exactly, happened. And the sheer magnitude I could give it if I culminated in Bakugou remembering the exact moment after his name’s been cleared.

FOR THE CHARACTER INTERACTIONS, that was another thing that really, really evolved. My initial idea was more simply “Todoroki knows who Fujimori is because of his father”, but at first that was just a mechanism to make the other U.A. kids aware that something bad has gone down. I originally planned to end the fic during the scene of Midoriya and Bakugou sparring (with a different, wrap-it-up kind of ending to that scene too)

But I went for a run this evening and thought about how I really wanted to wrap up the fic, and I kinda had the epiphany that knowing Fujimori ISN’T just some little tidbit of info for Todoroki. That in the world I built, Fujimori ruined Todoroki’s life. And Todoroki can’t stomach the thought of a classmate, someone he almost would consider a friend, walking that exact same path, receiving the exact same absolution as his father.

And it felt even more right, because it meant the fic wouldn’t go in the direction of all the U.A. kids just worrying about Bakugou, and siding with him by default because he’s their friend. It made me realize that the scene with Midoriya confronting Bakugou wasn’t Midoriya doing his characteristic “i have to help everyone” song and dance. He’s hurt. He’s confused. He isn’t sure if he can look at Bakugou the same anymore. Midoriya tries first, more gently, to get Bakugou to explain what happened. And when that doesn’t work, and Bakugous ‘everything’s been resolved’ is taken the wrong way by Todoroki, as bragging, Todoroki comes in hitting the hardest. Begging Bakugou to just prove him wrong. and it all ends, intentionally, with no clean resolution. because how could you possibly wrap something like this up all nice and clean

And about Fujimori himself - he became a more and more terrifying character the deeper into the draft I went. I, personally, want to punch him.

#EDIT: WAIT IM BACK I JUST NOTICED THE TITLE #CALLED ''KING'' AND NOTICIBLY MISSING THE ''EXPLOSION MURDER'' OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH IM SO GLAD SOMEONE CAUGHT THAT!!! IM THRILLED SOMEONE CAUGHT IT.

#king #king (explosion murder)#snorlaxlovesme #long post

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im-just-trying-to-get-bi · 3 years

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oh, what a raging dumpster fire this year has turned into, but, i am not making this post to focus on the negative, but the positive. im making this post as a reflection on how ive grown and how my blog/presence on tumblr have grown and changed.

first, i satrted 2020 with just 41 folllowers, which, at the time, i was surprised to have that many, i made a goal of 50 folowers at first, then, when i hit fifity, i bumped my goal up to 100, then 200, then 300, then 400. when i hit the 400's, my folower count kind of plataeued for a little while, until about 3 months ago, i started gaining followers again! i made my final goal for 2020 to hit 500 followers, and i knew when i did i would do something special. well, that day came a lot sonner than i was expecting. i hit 500 followers and had no idea what to do as a celebration, after a few days, i decided to do an art contest, i didnt get many entries, but, i was happy to get any entries. all 3 entries won, since i felt bad leaving one out

before i talk about the contest winners, i want to talk about my side blogs.

i have made 5 side blogs.

@imjusttryingtogetbinegativity which is the side blog i made for my negative posts.

@escaping-the-night my side blog for one of my favorite youtube shows, escape the night

@bi-on-arrival the side blog i made for one of my favorite tv shows, rupauls drag race and dragula a little bit too. it will includ talking about drag race, drag race all stars, drag race uk, drag race canada, drag race holland, and maybe some future shows

@imjusttryingtogetbihorrorblog which is my side blog for horror, movies, games, books, etc

and

@imjusttryingtogetbimusicalsblog my sideblog for musicals

ok, now back to the 500 follower art contest

@queery-eyed-prince designed my header

@alec-the-transgender-artist designed my pfp

and

@ampithereslove designed the header for my negativity blog

now, on to some great people ive met this year(im not gonna tag everyone)

my kiddos are all great people who ive met this year

other great people ive met include @galaxy-cat-09 , @poptartsaysurloved @polyam-bug-wannabe , @hay232 , and many many more i cant remember

the person that has made the greatest impact on my life this year is my wonderful boyfriend @alec-the-transgender-artist (ill have a whole section for him)

ok, now, how my identity has changed this year

one of the biggest identity changes ive had this year is my self discovery to being polyamorus

i also further looked into my identity as bisexual. i learned a lot about bisexuality, including that i dont need to have feelings for just boys and girls, but many different types of people, and still be valid. i always thought bisexuality is you just like boys and girls strictly, but i found out thats not true, and it made me happy

this is one of the ast sections, but i also want to cover relationships

i was in my first real relationship this year, but ive been in 3, the most successful of which is the one im in now

which leads me to my last thing i want to cover, my wonderful wonderful boyfriend, @alec-the-transgender-artist

he is so incredible. he cares about me and wants whats best for me. hes there when i need comfort, or affection, or anything. we respect each others boundaries and we just enjoy being together. we havent had any arguments, and i am so happy its as smooth as it is. i really think he might be 'the one'

and while 2020 may have been horrible and filled with a lot of heartbreak and hurt and sadness, but some great things happened this year and im so proud of what ive been able to do and who ive helped, who ive helped keep alive and everyone who i helped make the lives of a little less bad and made it easier

i love you all and value all of my followers more than you could imagine

#tw long post #josh's random thoughts #about josh

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joculatrixster · 3 years

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“aloe isn’t masculine” yeah tell that to the ppl who threw a pissy fit over her pronouns when they were first reveal. if you’re not tma then you need to stay in your lane about this and listen to trans women on what is and isnt trans-misogyny

i should rlly make a tldr because i talk way too much and this is too long tldr:

sorry if i was dissmive i was talking about anoher post so didnt want to delve into anons point because it was in relation to a post that litteraly said aloe shouldn't be drawn fem so i was more arguing against the idea aloe shouldn't be a women, ppl who use hcs to "soften the blow" r the ppl im against so i saw it more as the ppl who dont like fem aloe in general not likeing trans aloe because it makes aloe a girl and i didnt consider previously ppl would use THAT as a soften blow too thats gross if its why ppl did that, im gonna assume u skimmed my psot because u seemed to miss when i both argued aloe beign masculine doesnt mean she couldnt be a women as in i acknowledged her masculine traits and the multiple times i told the anon that i agree with their point and i thanked them for bringing it to my attention, my issue is litteraly with the ppl who use hcs or ignore canon that aloe uses she/her as the op with their tag saying aloe should not be drawn feminine aligned so i was talking more about that, anon had a point and i agreeed with that point, my point is im tierd of the ppl that assumed aloe was a man/masc nb when yes anon she wasnt gendered that was fanon not canon and ppl assumed things then got upset their assumptions werent right wich was fucked of them and i think its dumb ppl cant jsut accept aloe is a girl or at least uses she/her, if u dont like the hc for the reason that ur reading it with the undertones the anon pointed out thats fair! ur allowed to feel that way and if thats a reason most ppl have the hc thats indeed weird as fuck, i talked about mainly how i veiwed it and im not the person who can speak for everyone so yeah like i said in my original post take my opinion with a grain of salt since for all i know most ppl r being gross about it like the ppl who threw the fit in the first place

so yeah fair point, i think the fact ppl mainly assumed aloe was a male/madc algned was an issue in the first place and the fact ppl r all trying to scramble to hold onto that wrong assumption is fucked and ppl should acknowledge seeing aloe and by extension alot of nb characters as masc aligned or strictly androg is wack and the fact ppl with the trans hc may not acknowledge the fact aloe was seen as a guy and ask the "why" for that mass assumption instead jsut making hcs to cope or whatever is an issue and one i do understand ur point on, i agree with u anon and i agreed with the other anon if that got lost in the sauce then i get that since my other psot wasnt about the anons point but dont get me wrong ppl who use hcs to hide away from canon with aloe r wack and we as a fandom should think about WHY aloe was seen as a guy because she wasn't ment to be and never was canonly aligned with guys wich is what i ment when saying aloe wasnt masc in canon i was specifically calling out the fanon concepts with that

i hope this is more clear since im less tired and tried to summarize my points better, if i came off as not listening to u then fair ig but i was and i did agree with the anon so yeah if u wanna talk more about it we can im down for hearing more about the issue

(((also about the ene masse thing i cant rlly talk about that because hcs do spread fast with new cookies that ppl looked forward too plus aloes costume had demigirl and bigender flag colors im pretty sure but also i cant assume the motives of everyone and the aloe is a lesbain hc is something ive seen more i didnt know how wide spread trans aloe was so yeah idk how to address that one point someoen brought up in replies since i can see the point but also its hard to tell for me cause i havent seen specifically trans binary aloe alot jsut fem nb aloe so im not gonna rlly touch it im just gonna agree it can be read that way and its a topic that should be discussed in a better post thx i jsut dont wanna reply to that person since its on the ops post i think and i dont want to be in a reply chain there since i made my point and id rather talk on my own pist tuen blow up ops inbox if an argument happens idk)))

this is gonna end up being repetitive again isnt it? f word, hope my point wasnt lost i jsut suck at articulating what i ment so if im coming off as dissmive again im trying not to be litteraly what im saying is my post was in relation to another post and that made the reply seem like i was arguing against anon when i was rlly saying anons point was good i jsut didnt think the op had the same veiws an if they did they didnt articulate it well, the anon ill admit is the forst time ive seen someoen bring that issue up mabey i missed it since other posts might not have explained it like anon did so i didn't pick up on it but yeah anon was right in sayign that if that was the case for most thats fucked, the only reason i made the psot was like i said my trans friend dmed me about it so i tried to point out to op how their post might be read i didnt jsut decide to reply to the post to talk over transwomen i replied because a trans woemn friend of mine saw the post and thought op was saying aloe should be a guy and shouldn't be portrayedas trans and fem, i said trans women can agree with the post thats fine and it is fine if trans women dont like trans aloe for the reasons anon stated if it reads that way to most trans ppl then thats fucked up and im sorry the fandom is being weird about aloe

#mod trix #anon #cookie run discourse #i rlly need to stop checking tumblr before i go to sleep and ince i wake up #hope this one isnt as repetitive or something #i am genuinely sorry for being dismissive i jsut wasnt gonna talk about the point in relation to the post op made #it can be a separate discussion and should be talked about rlly #anywayyy yeah as i was saying in my first psot thats a fair point and if thats whats going on its shitty #ppl can not like the hc for that reason its a fair one #im assuming u read my whole psot anon and the tags but if u didn't thats fine but i litteraly was agreeing with the anon jsut #didnt think op ment that #thoooo the op coulda i isut thought they came off saying something different abd the post wasnt well worded #if ppl r ginna talk about trans aloe in relation to this issue then yeah thats fair #the ops tag flagged me as their one of the ppl who dont like fem aloe not rlly trans aloe so thats different

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brujoenlafrontera · 4 years

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hi!!! I’m a puertorriqueño/nicaragüense enby looking into resources for learning bruja stuff, any good place you know to start?

I’ve gotten a couple of asks about this lately, and i’m so happy to know there are more latinos finding their way to the practice, tumblr’s brujeria tag often gives the impression that theres so little of us out there reclaiming our practices but getting asks like these brings me a lot of faith that thats not true :) first and foremost:

GETTING INTO BRUJERIA IS HARD.

it really is. baby brujos like us know that better than anyone- getting started, is often the hardest part of doing anything, and its no different with brujeria. it can feel so overwhelming and feeling lost is natural. from my experience, although i am still a newbie ive been able to find a lot of information out there, here are the best places to find info, sorted by priority:

FAMILY! a little self explanatory, but brujeria at its best is truly is an inherited, familial practice. If you can, before delving into internet resources, definitely connect w your family if you’re able to and ask them for guidance and about their experiences!

Your family is always the best resource over anything you can find online; theres so much misinformation out there or information not relevant to your region and if someone in your family already has established practices, always trust them first

Do some thinking back to all your cultural traditions, quirks, stories, and superstitions that you’ve learned from your family across time and never thought too much about- and rediscover them under a new light

KEEP IN MIND: brujeria is NOT a singular , concrete practice w concrete rules in itself, the term blankets a lot of traditions across latam, the caribbean, mexico, but imo its always best to stick with brujeria related to your heritage and where your connection is.

this can be hard for people (like me!) with huge family taboos toward brujeria that make it unsafe to ask around about, and/or limitations in family connections (also like me unfortunately). I personally can really only get the tidbits and stories that my family accidentally slips out when I occasionally see them. i try to write them down as much as possible, but the info i can get is limited... and thats where the following comes in.

ONLINE COMMUNITIES. i.e, youtube, tumblr, instagram brujx communities. notice I haven’t said “internet” in general- the reason why i trust community based social media more than random individual websites you find on google is because, in the case of brujeria and honestly any non-european craft, you’re often gonna find a LOT of white people writing blogs, books, etc about their “spiritual experiences” in latam countries and wrongly/incorrectly taking ATR or indigenous traditions (like with smudging). I know, with social media, although those same white people are also on insta and tumblr, it’s a LOT easier to see the face behind the accounts and differentiate who to trust, who’s legit and has real experience to share, rather than a nameless, faceless, website that is actually some colonizer sharing colonized ideas who thinks theyre on a spiritual journey taking traditions all willy nilly. And the fact that in social media, its much easier to find a lot of good brujas at once bc they tend to follow each other lmao.what ive personally done to find information tho is essentially SCOUR tumblrs, insta accs, and watching tons of youtube videos for posts, accounts, videos, etc, and narrowing down good info from there through , namely:

CHECKING WHO YOUR SOURCE IS!!!

ASKING YOURSELF FROM WHAT EXPERIENCE THEYRE SPEAKING FROM

ALWAYS TAKING EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT

AND STICKING TO INFO FROM CULTURES OPEN AND RELEVANT TO ME.

again, brujería is different depending on where your family is from in latam, and if you have an established connection to indigenous and/or black roots, so it’s useful to use keywords relating to that when searching (like if ur black, you can look into ATRs(african traditional religions) which tend to mix deeply with brujeria, if ur indigenous, finding other people from your tribe is great, and if youre not pursuing your already learned traditions you can think about connecting to them more deeply(altho indigenous traditions are their own thing, sometimes they do mix with brujeria too), and apart from familial roots, if ur catholic/christian and/or want to explore it, saint work/catholic brujeria might be a good fit for you!)

tumblr: there are a couple of fantastic brujxs on this site with great blogs and resources who have sadly left the site, but i still go through their posts heavily for spells, rituals, scraps of info! etting started w brujería is hard bc there’s really not that much info out there right now, but i compile as many good brujeria posts i find on my acc.

@brujeria-n-bongs great for catholic brujeria, now at @Upliftherbs on instagram

@brujeria-lost @barberwitch @reina-morada @highbrujita

@naomi121406 is by far the most active and informative tumblr resource ive found, shes an afro-indigenous diaguita curandera from argentina so shes also really helpful if ATRs are in your path!

Im not black myself and dont follow ATRs so i don’t really know many good blogs for afrolatine brujxs out there but if anyone would like to tag some in the replies thatd be awesome!

instagram: Ive found that instagram #brujeria tags has a pretty healthy active stream of posts. You’re gonna have to sift through a lot of them to get to the good stuff though- imo a lot of hispanics use the brujería tag not to mean “latine brujería” but just the spanish word for witchcraft, so a lot of white hispanics will put wicca/neo witchcraft in the tag. imo that’s really not something i’m personally interested in bc it’s not true to brujeria’s traditional nature, is very white/eruropean , and that wicca shit basically just got here. its a relatively a recent thing😭 so i try to stick to bruja accounts that aren’t influenced by that.

youtube: The youtube brujería tag is hit or miss? and again, contains a lot of wicca. But there are some good practitioners on there like The Mexican Witch! You just gonna look around, and dont be afraid to click on videos by really really small youtubers; they often are the ones with the most informative and legit things to say!

Everyone’s path as a bruja/o/x (sjdf trying to be inclusive w gendered language is difficult) is different but here are some topics i think are great to look into as a beginner!

ancestors: start at the bottom and figure out who they are, where theyre from, and set up an altar. it’ll help you a lot with figuring out your identity and path as a bruja later on.

setting up a grimoire

divination: tarot is actually what got me into brujeria at first! tarot isnt strictly traditional and is european in itself but its a wonderful tool for connecting to dieties, saints, etc as well as super fun and helps a lot with introspection

ritual abrecaminos, aka road opening spells!

amarres (love spells... proceed with caution)

limpias, mal de ojo

saint work: even if you’re not catholic (im ex catholic), a growing number of us (especially lgbt latines like @/upliftherbs on instagram) are starting to take back and decolonize our view of saints like La Virgen Maria and removing her from the rigid european/colonized interpretation thats been forced into us

candle spells in general (i fucking love candles tbh, cheap, easy, fun, and WORKS)

spiritual colognes, how to cleanse

finally, here are some helpful posts yall should definitely read and think about moving forward!

about using tumblr as a resource

about looking into brujeria as a part-white part latine

bruja psa + about reclaiming lost indiginety

honestly naomi’s entire brujeria tag is great and super informative for beginners and basically holds answers for almost anything at this point

hope this post helps yall out!

EDIT: oh lord now that this is posted the outline format i tried to use is all kinds of fucked up please dont mind the odd numbering lmfao tumbr hates organized formats

#brujeria #witchblr #POC Witches #witchcraft #baby witch #mine #basics

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youvebeenlivingfictional · 4 years

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Love Isn’t Always On Time Part Twenty Five

Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist Notes: These next few chapters are gonna be kinda Steve-heavy due to the nature of the MCU Not beta-read Warnings: Mentions of sexy times; some cursing. Summary:    I could hear Fury’s voice in my head, his warnings before I went on my mission: ‘Ripples’.

“It took you long enough to get down here.” I’d been on the end of many of Natasha’s critical side-eyes, but this was a whole new level of intensity. Steve had gone to the bar to get us another round, but it was busy, and he wasn’t about to cash in on his fame to cut the line. I looked back at him, at his hunched, rounded shoulders, trying to blend in like he used to. “I didn’t think he wanted me here. I wanted to give him space,” I said. Natasha nodded, setting her water down. “I understand it, even if I didn’t like it. He was pouting.” “He’s so cute when he pouts,” I mumbled. I sighed, resting my head on my hand.

“I went to go see Peggy,” I told Natasha. She raised a brow. “You used to never be one to reopen old wounds,” She commented. “Peggy wasn’t a wound, in any respect. I only wish I’d gotten to see her sooner,” I admitted. I’d cried as soon as the visit was over, before I could even get out of the building - just stopped in the hallway and wept. She was still the Peggy I knew, and she’d been so happy to see me, but in her fits, well. She was happy to see me over and over again. It was strange, though. I had met her once, when I’d just started out in S.H.I.E.L.D, before I had gone back in time. I reminded her during my visit that morning, and though she could recall every detail of the circumstance perfectly, she couldn’t remember me there at all. I could hear Fury’s voice in my head, his warnings before I went on my mission: ‘Ripples’. “How long do you think it’ll take you to get settled down here?” Natasha asked. I shrugged. “I don’t know, few weeks. Why?” Natasha cast another look to Steve before turning to face me fully. “Because I have a ... Job that you might be interested in.” “A job?” “Something similar to what you used to do.” I was quiet for a moment, eyes narrowing. “I see...And does Nicholas know that you’re asking me for assistance?” “Not strictly.” “Not strictly means not at all.” The glint in Natasha’s eye told me I was right. “Just think about it.” “I don’t know if I want to get back in the game, Nat.” “Bullshit-- Hang on, here’s what’s going to happen next: you’re going to tell me that you’re enjoying tending bar, and then your nose is going to grow six inches.” I leaned back in my seat, folding my arms. “Whatever you’re going to try and get me in on-- unsuccessfully, by the way-- won’t just piss off the guy in charge, it’ll put your job in danger.” I lowered my voice, leaning in. “I’m technically a civilian now,” I reminded her. “And it’s driving you crazy. Hill told me about what you’ve been getting up to.” I felt my face go red. Had I been helping Hill informally on cases? Yes. Had I expected her to tell anybody? Definitely not; she’d be in as much trouble as I would be if Fury ever found out. But Hill and Natasha were thick as thieves, and shared a love of rule breaking. I was pulled from my thoughts when Steve set a beer down in front of me. “Thanks,” I said, smiling. Natasha echoed it as he passed her a beer as well. “So, what did I miss?” Steve asked, looking between us. I cocked my head to the side, waiting for Natasha to answer. She smiled. “Nothing. We were just talking about work.” -- “Babydoll?” I didn’t answer at first. I finally managed a questioning little hum, unwilling to open my eyes and wake all the way up. “That all I’m gonna get from you?” Steve laughed. I felt the bed dip as he settled in beside me. His lips skimmed my bare shoulder as his hand settled on the curve of my hip, warm through the sheets that were covering me. “...You wore me out last night, Rogers,” I informed him sleepily, pushing my hip up into his hand, chasing his touch. I felt him smile against my shoulder. “Told you I missed you,” He teased. I chuckled, finally opening my eyes to look at him. I frowned at the sight, however. “Why are you dressed?” “I’m heading down to the VA. Told a friend I’d check it out.” My brows rose. “Steven Grant Rogers, you’re making friends?” I asked, feigning shock. “Don’t be a smart ass,” He laughed before he leaned down, kissing me warmly. I looped an arm around his neck, keeping him close. “m gonna be late,” Steve murmured. I nodded, letting my arm go slack so he could pull away. “Have a good time,” I yawned widely, barely able to form the words. He laughed, standing. “I’ll bring back lunch,” He promised. “And that’s why I love ya.” Steve swooped in for one more long, toe-curling kiss. “I love you, too,” He murmured. He pecked my lips once more before straightening up. “Stop staring at my ass,” He added as he left. “Stop having such a nice one,” I countered. I heard him laugh before he closed the door.

Tag List: @gloryevans @redryderdesigns @winter-scolder @aactuaaltraash @secretagentben @staplerrrr @elliee1497 @adayinmymeadow @allonszassbutt @mannls @witch-of-letters @niallssweetheart22 @uneniffler @rinthehufflepuff @panic-angel3314 @firstangeldragonranch @kaetastic @mcuwillbethedeathofme @skeletoresinthebasement @i-dont-know-what-im-doing-yay @kkaos15 @iiamnotoverlyfondofwhatfollows @bassclarinety @tomshelbystits @rvgrsbrns @marvelmenarebeautiful @tenaciousperfectionunknown

#stucky #stucky x reader #stucky x you #Love Isn't Always on Time #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #steve rogers x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #Bucky Barnes

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lifedxbt · 4 years

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?

I use canon as a base to grow from. Ofc a lot of my characterisation is HC based, or taking tiny bits of canon and twisting it a little. I try to follow canon where I can on Tseng -- but a lot of that is trying to analyse lines and mannerisms that might mean absolutely nothing.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

He has so much depth and detail -- His entire character is based around two ideas; Nothing is more precious than a life AND Anything to complete a mission. The mental conflict is so fun to write and play with, its so fun to pick him apart

He cares so much about the people he deems worthy. He would kill for you, if you make yourself special for him.

Really dark content

Beautifully composed and controlled asshole

He’s so fucking pretty like look at this man???? He’s so pretty hes so hot

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

He’s very much an asshole and can be quite aggressive

Hes really hard to ship with in a romantic sense if you’re writing anyone other than like... three muses. Even then??

Really dark content

It’s can be really hard to write with him considering he’s quite... Uncontactable? I suppose. It’s hard to put him in certain situations

Because he’s an important character in the lives of other characters(in particular; Aerith, Zack, the Turks), my Tseng might absolutely conflict with the Tsengs people write into their backstories and thats so valid

What inspired you to rp your muse?

I really wanted to write a Turk. I really wanted to write someone within ShinRa because there are so many wonderful ShinRa blogs and I wanted to interact with them from the same side, not as Cloud. And Lazard and Angeal weren’t giving me that so... A new muse. Reno was out because my partner is going to write him eventually -- even if I have to bully them into it. And then Tseng wasn’t going to be my choice either because I know a friend had mentioned writing him once? And i didnt want to step on toes. But Rude isn’t my type and I kept getting drawn back to Tseng.

So I made a blog for a character I barely knew and fell in love with him entirely

What keeps your inspiration going?

I really love meta. I love having a character I can deconstruct and pick apart and just completely unravel. Tseng is really good for that and.. It’s not overdone? I started getting really self conscious about my Cloud because there are so many Clouds. With Tseng I feel a little less lost in a sea of duplicates. -- I don’t follow any duplicates on this blog because Tseng was such a new muse and I was terrified of accidentally stealing HCs and ideas.

So yeah deconstructing canon is really fun for me. But so is talking to people, plotting with people and building characters relationships.

And honestly, people keep praising my dialogue and I cannot put into words how much that inspires me to keep writing. Dialogue is one of my favourite things to write and I’m so so glad people think it’s good.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO. - I actually think I do and I’m proud of myself for that

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. - Bully me into writing more

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

Not really. Mostly because the things I write tend to be based off layers of unseen headcanons and thoughts. I feel like, if I got criticism that I didn’t request, I’d end up rambling and trying to justify myself and then feeling very off. I don’t write for anyone besides myself and my writing partners. There are other Tsengs you can write with if you don’t like mine.

What I do accept tho, is suggestions. More from people I write with but like ‘hey instead of X have you considered Y’.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

Yes please give them please please

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

Theyre welcome to disagree with me but i dont see the point of making that known. I don’t expect everyone to agree with what I write - but I don’t necessarily need them to tell me.

The exception here is backstory. Personally, I have headcanons around Tseng being the one to teach Rufus to shoot. Thats not blog canon because I don’t put people in weird positions. If its headcanon based on other muses and the muns of said muses dont agree, im more interested in that discussion.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

I truly dont mind. I write Tseng how I want to write him and thats that. Though people dont need to tell me they dont like my content. I dont know why people feel so entitled to that. just unfollow me and move on

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

I don’t care? People are allowed to hate characters. Just dont like, aggressively hate my muse @ me?

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

Yeah but preferably whoever im writing with

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

Yeah I’m just... chill. Im very low maintenance as a friend too, you dont need to talk to me a lot or anything to keep me interested.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @gyahahahaha this was v fun thank Tagging: for once im gonna tag someone cause @unattainabledreams is back and i wanna bully them

#god this was long #[Dash meme]

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whrrlwind · 4 years

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse.

fill out & repost !

tagged by: no one! i stole it from ren <3 tagging: anyone who wants to do it!!

my muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK and im too afraid to find out Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL How strictly do you follow canon? — pretty strictly! it’s really only towards the end of SA2 and after it where i start taking creative liberties! as whirl nearly dies himself trying (and failing) to save his shadow, and then starts going into rider’s time instead of jumping into heroes.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — you like the adventure era sonic? you hate how he sometimes handles really serious scenarios or brushes them off like nothing, as if they aren’t traumatic as shit in any way? wanna see a pretty mentally and emotionally fucked up lad struggle with handling his troubles and keep up the dark/serious theme SA2 set that sega is too cowardly to go back to in modern day? well bOY DO I HAVE THE HEDGEHOG FOR YOU. this bad boy ACTUALLY has emotions and struggles with handling them and many other things due to the position he has put himself in over the course of his life, but also doesn’t completely wear him down and stop him from being who he is! as well as dealing with the fact he and his timeline are MUCH further behind than other alternates of himself and friends. sonic “ whirl ” hedgehog is a young hero still running his way through life the way he wants like the rebellious, free-spirited teenager he is, while learning that not only is he a hero, but he’s also a person.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — quite frankly, he’s sonic. there’s a lot of them out there. he can probably be too energetic, positive, etc, or perhaps this blog focuses a little too much on his trauma and internal struggles or even the general dark theme to the point it’s a turnoff or just hard to really read. he’s also an annoying idiot to the point it’s frustrating.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — yo sonic was my fucking LIFEBLOOD as a kid. lived and breathed this franchise. sa2 was my first game ever, sonic was my fav character (and still is), so my absolute love for this specific version of him became too much to internalize sooooo here we are ; w ;

What keeps your inspiration going? — straight up, sonic is probably my biggest comfort character to exist ever. always makes me happy, always makes me feel better when im down, etc. there’s nothing he can’t do that doesn’t make me smile, regardless of how sega treats him. being able to pour my ideas into a character i love so much to the point he becomes really personalized (and personal for me), and it’s actually something people enjoy seeing and interacting with? it gives me so much goddamn sertonin.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? Do you frequently write headcanons? YESSSSS I CANNOT SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT WHIRL ask anyone i Do Not Shut The Fuck Up even if i don’t post abt it on tumblr Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO just bc im bad at writing them abndhjbfd Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO / SORTA. Do you accept criticism about your portrayal? — always!! i’m always willing to learn and improve on things, especially with the canon of some events from games and such, as i’m not 100% with everything besides SA2. all i really ask is that when receiving criticism, people are as nice as they can be with it! thanks adhd and personal trauma

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — ABSOFUCKINLUTELY I DO

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — mmmmm? mm. kind of? but also not really? like. everyone’s entitled to their own opinion ofc, i’m not gonna rip anyone apart for disagreeing with something, but like. i have adhd. i’m v hypersensitive to some things, so it can really be processed in my head the wrong way and it makes me feel bad. so i guess just....... be careful about it if you ever wanna tell me why?

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — i’d probably just kinda be like “ damn that sucks bro, but thats literally not my problem, there’s a whole ton of other sonics out there bye ” bc like. i dont care? don’t even really tell me bc honestly ur just wasting ur time lmao

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — ill be the first to admit im. v attached to sonic as a whole. he means a lot to me! so going off abt how you may (generally) hate him really....... is just upsetting to me. but thats just bc im v attached to him, and there’s nothing wrong with having that opinion on him!! we all get upset when someone talks bad about something we love. all i ever ask is that try to keep it away from me, especially if it’s abt whirl in particular, bc it can really upset me and thats just not fun for anyone <:3c

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — absolutely!! i make them all the time and i even have a friend proofread some of my stuff bc of how common it is aBJDBHBJC, again i just ask if people are nice about it when pointing that stuff out to me!!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — oh fuckin yes absolutely, im tooting my own horn and i dont even care, im one of the chillest people on this fuckin planet

#《 🌌. eat my ass spirits! 》 (ooc)#《 🌌. i eat coffee beans raw to survive 》 (mun)#long post //#ask to be tagged //#heyooooo #ill probably do this for fleetway too #but later good GOD did this take a bit #anyway i would die for whirl thank u for ur time

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afewmarvelousthoughts · 5 years

Text

Stay Ch. 16

Master List

Pairing: Natasha X Reader (Female)

Summary: You have a gift, the ability to see other people’s innermost secrets. For years you used it to gather intel for the highest bidder when you take on The Widow. After she becomes more than a mark the two of you spend years stealing moments. Post snap you wait in your designated meeting place, look back on the sordid past you share with the woman you love and hope against everything that she’s still alive.

Warnings: Angst, and fluff, and feels oh my!

A/N: So yeah I swear I wroth an authors note for this... but idfk what happened.

ANYWAY! Thank you all for being so patient while I got my life together. This one is also short and sweet (guess that’s the mood I’m in). However, y’all should know me by now. This is just the calm before the storm.

Hope you enjoy this one my pumpkins!

Tags are open!

@mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415 @peachthatdrinkslemonade @5aftermidnight@jeromethepsycho @marvel-randomness @daniellajocelyn @katecolleen @yanginginthere@wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @lesbian-girls-wayhaught @siriuslycloudy2

March 2007

At some point in the last five months, you’d stopped recognizing yourself. The woman in the mirror wasn’t Y/N. Her hair was different, down to even the eyebrows. Her accent distinctly that of a life long Londoner. She worked for an independent UK couture fashion magazine, chose wine over whiskey, and was distinctly heterosexual.

When the chance to work this job requiring deep cover came up in December you jumped on it. You didn’t want to be you anymore. The you that couldn’t be with the woman you loved. The you that was heartbroken. The you who was beginning to doubt that you’d ever be happy. Fuck her.

Being Charlie Daniels was far better. She was, of course, a real person. Just one who was now living comfortably in the Bahamas courtesy of MI6. Even legit agencies had use of freelance talent every now and then.

Settling into her life had been easy. Not setting her boss on fire or blowing his brains out daily was a different task altogether. Turned out that a magazine was a great front for a crime empire. Lots of international travel, young and beautiful and desperate men and women, money exchanged in countless untraceable ways, on and on. And this fucker was happy to take advantage of every single disgusting avenue it opened up.

You almost had everything you needed to hand to MI6, get your obscenely large payout, and get on to another gig while they threw all of these bastards into cells to rot for the rest of their miserable lives. Just one more trip. After whatever horrible things they lay out in Tokyo you’ll be set.

Tokyo is one of those cities you can lose yourself in. Like New York but better for its interesting balance of vibrancy and grounded reserve. You absolutely love it.

The whole point of the trip, at least on the surface, was to focus on Fashion Week Tokyo. Honestly, there was a part of you that wished this was your world. Nothing but runway shows and after parties. Writing about the latest trends rather than delving into the inner workings of the worlds miscreants

Oh well. It was nice enough to pretend. You had to admit that you’d miss Charlie Daniels once you shed this skin in a couple of weeks.

You’re sitting two people down from your boss at an underground show. The level of security here screams that there are other things going on behind the scenes but it’s still a room filled with a who’s who of the Japanese and international fashion communities.

This was your third show of the day, and you knew there would be a party after where you’d have to schmooze all while plucking information from your unsuspecting fellow guests. You’re exhausted. So rather than pay much attention to the show you let your mind wander.

When she walks out you feel her rather than see her. Slowly you turn your head to stare dumbstruck at the model walking onto the catwalk. Your heart begins beating against your ribs, your mouth goes dry, your hands shake.

It takes every ounce of control you have to keep your emotions in. To not scream “Natasha!” at the top of your lungs. To not grab her and run for the hills. Charlie Daniels and her easy life be damned. It’s hard but you manage.

As she turns and comes back down, passing now closer to you, her eyes don’t graze the crowd at all. Head up, shoulders back, she walks the runway like she’d been doing it for years.

The rest of the show is maybe ten minutes but it feels like years. You know the models are all attending the party. Eye candy for the high end guests.

It’s fairly easy to ditch your coworkers in the crowd as you try to find the best vantage point in the room without being too obvious. After a solid twenty minutes, you find yourself planning an escape route. Most of the models are milling about but she’s no where to be seen. You will find her.

But you know you can’t skip out just yet. At the bar, you order a red wine and make yourself seen. Charlie would never miss the whole party after all. You spend a bit chatting with designers and a few models, feigning interest in the whole thing until you hear your boss call out to you.

“Oy, Charlie!” Carl’s voice alone makes you want to put him down. When you turn he’s waving you over to the bar. Sighing heavily you head over.

You’re about ten feet away when you see her, head back laughing at something Carl or his friend had said. Both men are far to close to her for your liking and the hungry look on Carl’s face sets your blood boiling.

He slings an arm around your shoulders and you carefully coach your face to not show disgust. “Charlie here is my best writer. Doin’ some pieces for us on this whole thing,” he waves his other hand around wildly.

“Good to meet ya, Charlie, I’m Dan,” the other man, clearly American says.

“Likewise,” Natasha doesn’t react to the accent at all.

“This here is-”

“Natalie,” Natasha cuts him off, extending a hand to you. Holding her eyes with yours you take it. It’s like touching a live wire.

“Natalie is an American model working here in Japan. May be a good topic for a piece.” He ribs you leaning closer, “And a good piece for the office eh?” Suddenly that MI6 money seems far less appealing.

“I’d love that,” Natasha beams. “Why don’t you guys go mingle and Charlie and I can chat!” The men exchange a glance, but there’s plenty of fresh meat around to sink their teeth into.

Carl flashes you a greasy smile and a wink as he walks away. Thinking clearly that you’re going to snare this woman for him. You, unfortunately, had a few others. Not something you were proud of. Demands of the job you told yourself.

“She’ll take a vodka neat,” you tell the bartender.

“Yes,” Natasha smiles at him, “Whiskey for her. Makers if you have it.” He thinks nothing of it and makes your drinks.

“So, how’s modeling in Japan?”

“Probably about as good as writing for a sleazy jackal.”

You laugh, “That bad? What’s the goal.”

“Getting a cover,” you commend the clever word play.

“That’s a good goal. Long term?”

“Something like that.” She takes a sip of her vodka, “How long are you here?”

“End of the week.” Your skin itches to touch her. The men are rounding back. You hold her gaze and shift your eyes back to them. She catches on.

“Perfect! It’s so hard to have a good interview here, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely. Why don’t you come by my hotel?” You whip out your spare key card. “I’d love to get your story for the mag, maybe do a full feature.”

“A feature would be excellent exposure!”

“Wouldn’t it?” Carl slides up next to her. “We can get you all the exposure you could want Ms. Natalie.”

“Charlie was telling me all about it.” She flashes him a coy smile. “Thank you so much Charlie! I forgot I have a late fitting tonight for another show so I’ve got to run. But we’ll chat soon yeah?”

“Absolutely! It was so good to meet you Natalie.”

“Same! Bye!” She hurries through the crowded room and disappears.

“Busy girl.” Carl quips. “Whiskey?” You look down at the glass by your hand.

“Some guy sent them over,” you gesture to Natasha’s lipstick stained glass. “Seemed rude to refuse. Can’t stand the stuff though.”

“That’s a mans drink,” Carl laughs at his own perceived joke and you force a smile.

Somehow you make it through the rest of the evening. You’d refused to allow yourself to hope that she’d be here, too obvious to come the same night, better to wait. Kicking off your shoes you head straight to the mini bar and crack open a whiskey, downing it in one gulp.

“You really need to be more careful,” Natasha’s voice comes from the bathroom. “I mean not even checking around. Sloppy.”

“Charlie Daniels doesn’t have to check for Russian assassins in her bathroom,” a smile pulls your face so tight it hurts.

“Well, Natalie Rushman isn’t a Russian spy. So…”

You let your real accent resurface as you pull her into your arms, “Natalie Rushman, I don’t know if that’s clever or lazy.” She kisses you hard, tongue sliding over your lips hands gripping your ass.

“Mmm,” she hums. “Kinda like the accent.”

“Oh?” You revert to the clipped posh Londoner sound. “Would you rather be with Charlie? I hate to break it to you, she’s strictly into dick so you may need to get a bit creative.”

Natasha’s head falls back with laughter, “I’m always into a challenge but,” she cups your face in her hands, “I’d much rather Y/N, she’s got a cute accent too.” Your kiss is soft this time, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, honey.” Gently you push a strand of hair out of her face. “Is this smart? Are you gonna get-”

“I’m good. I wouldn’t be here if I thought there was risk.” She pulls away and tugs you toward the bed. “There’s no surveillance on me here, I check in every week, that’s it. This is strictly to build a cover.”

“Cover for what?” She gives you a sideways glance. “Right. National security.”

“Do you really want to talk about work?”

Smirking at her you push her back on the bed. “Maybe later.”

You lean down to her but she stops you by planting a strappy heel in the center of your chest. Trailing your fingers down her leg you snag a knife from her thigh holster. Carefully you slide the blade under the straps, the incredibly sharp edge cuts through the thin suede like it’s nothing.

“Those were very expensive you know,” eyes sparkling with desire.

You slip the shoe off and toss it aside. “I’ll buy you a new pair.” Your lips press against her ankle.

Everything in your life until her was so fleeting. Even your own name, the sound of your own voice, who you were… But with her, you were grounded. You weren’t anything but her’s, you were Y/N.

Suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Caressing her muscular calf you just stare at her eyes. Emerald green, dark liner, lids heavy with lust and exhaustion.

“Natasha…” Your voice cracks and you fight for composure.

“Y/N? What is it?” She shoots up, cradling your face in her hands.

You shake your head, unable to really find the words and unwilling to send this storm of emotions to her. “I just…” You cover her hands with your own. It’s not that you don’t want her, you do. But…

“Can we just… I just wanna hold you…” Her expression immediately softens, eyes sparkling a touch with tears. “Sorry… I… I just…”

“I’d love that, baby.” Tenderly her lips brush yours, then your cheeks, your forehead, your eyelids as they flutter closed.

You shed your clothes and crawl into the plush bed. Holding tight to one another you spend hours drifting in and out of sleep, covering the other with soft kisses. Before the sun rises your hands wander southward.

This time you don’t fuck one another senseless. It feels like you’re trying to memorize every curve, every sound, every subtle thing that marks being together. You both know you many not get to do this for some time. The knowledge aches but it doesn’t make having her any less sweet.

Post Snap

You lean your head back on the wall behind the booth. The crying man from last night is gone, you find yourself hoping that he’s resting peacefully somewhere… even though you know it’s pointless to hope for such things.

There are more people filling the bar than there was before. The TVs are off, radios turned up, reporters frantically trying to determine what happened. It was global, that was clear. All planes grounded, trains stopped, communications spotty due to damaged cell towers.

A man speaks frantically to someone who seems to be a friend that he was heading to Nuremberg from Budapest, how the roads are almost not navigable. He doesn’t know if his family is even still there but he has to find out.

Despite his distress, your lips curl a bit at the mention of Budapest.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #black widow #queer fic #wlw

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lowkeysebastianstan · 5 years

Note

hey there. I totally get your frustration with endgame and the ending. I wasn't happy and I'm not happy how half the fandom tells me/us how we have to look at it. how we have to accept it. how the actors are happy with it and so should we. how the writers/producers - okay, I'm gonna leave them out of this seeing neither of them have any idea what they have done in the first place. after all they disagree on everything in every interview since the release. and isn't that funny? (1/?)

how even they are not on one side with the movie? what I despise most right now when it comes to this movie and this fandom is how we are treated. how we should tag our “hate” - which I think is funny since I didn’t hate the movie entirely. I hated pieces of it, like I did with past movies. I never liked doctor strange and even back then people were allowed to mention how casting cumberbatch for the part wasn’t the smartest idea they had. (2/?)

people want us to be happy with an ending that doesn’t make sense to us and they appreciate and are “allowed” to shove down our throats with their happy posts about a perfect ending. how is taking tony’s life after he finally married pepper and got a daughter is perfect? how is sending steve back to peggy after they did everything in their power to convince us he moved on from his past life…how is that perfect? (3/?)

you can probably tell I’m bitter. I really am. there’s not a day that goes by I’m not frustrated with what we got after ten years and 22 movies. however, I thought to myself what would it give me to cling on to this on my blog. would it change anything? I do know I’m not alone. I see so many people agreeing with this anger and it gives me some sort of peace. at the end of the day, though, it’s also important to see what it gives to you. (4/?)

talking to one of my closest friends about it and voicing my frustration with the end helps me more than keep posting about it. because in the end it won’t change a thing. the longer I surround myself with the frustration and anger and everything that comes with this not being what I had hoped for the more it pushes me from the fandom. of course everyone do as they please and I get people who want to get it out of their system. (5/?)

but maybe sitting down and look at what the constant repeating will give you in the end, realizing where it might end, could help finding some kind of peace for you. I’d hope for you to enjoy the parts of the fandom that still apply to you. I really like your blog and you as a person and I’d hate to see one of my fave people on this site to leave (I lost count, but this is the last)

whew! hi right back, that was quite something.

i feel ive answered this ask before, was that also you?

i mean, yeah. i know im not alone, i do. i see some of it on my dash, but not a lot, since ive had to block every marvel related tag just to keep from indulging in some light murder (just gentle ones, not to worry), and i really cannot fathom why ppl on the other side of the isle can’t do the same? or if you’re getting tired of the negativity? blacklist. or unfollow, block even.

as ive said a few times lately, ive been here 6 years. and this is the first time ive aired my frustration in any noticeable way. sure there’s been a few occasions where i got the salt shaker out, but that was in relation to much more limited subjects, and it was a post or two at the most.

ive been frustrated with previous movies too, but ive kept my trap shut, ive just gone on, kept my queue stocked, giffed the rare set and hid behind pretty solid content, no drama, not personality, no engagement.

and it’s not too bad, to just be anonymous, to look at the pretty, spread the pretty, do the occasional tag rant, and let that be it.

but.

when i came back after a long hiatus last autumn i started writing again. i posted a psa where i apologised for the fact that i would reblog my writing on this blog, i informed what tags i was gonna use, and for the first time i actually checked my follower count before and after. i lost 20 followers the first day. for posting writing. my writing. that was tagged to a ridiculous degree. and i saw a fair few more disappear before the exodus, and idk. i made me realise a thing or two.

one, people like my blog and the content i post

two, they’re only here for that content

three, to have a strictly themed blog will limit you horribly

four, my followers in general don’t give a shit about me, only about the content i post, which fair enough

five, i care about that, even if i don’t care about the follower count as such, i do care that the ones i have actually like me

six, which is completely absurd bc none of them knows me at all, i never show myself

but that was then. this is now. and the last weeks has made me realise the most important thing of all, i dont care any more. why the fuck should i? when my showing any kind of negativity about something that i did care a whole lot about but i no longer have?

endgame might have killed all my enthusiasm for the mcu, and it fucking hurts. it’s been a staple in my life for years, ive invested my time, my creativity, my love and my goddamn money, and ive got jack shit to show for it. i have a blog that i used to love, but is becoming alien to me, and that hurts too. ive invested a lot in this blog too, after i deleted a few of my other blogs a couple of years back, this is by far my biggest one. and im torn tbh.

do i want to leave it? no, i don’t. can i go back? honestly? i doubt it. if my love for the mcu is gone, well so is bucky. and lets be real, a sebastian stan blog with no bucky? i cannot really see it, can you?

but hey. ill make you a deal, all of you. ill ease up on the memes, i won’t stop bc i have a few scheduled, you guys blacklist or unfollow if you dont want to see them, and ill see about sprinkling in some sebastian content if i can find any i deem worth it.

also i don’t have any close irl friends to air my frustrations with, everyone here loved this crap, and that’s not really the discourse im looking for. but im happy for you, it sounds nice :)

hope you’re having a great day!

eta: i won’t leave btw. not unless the porn hub thing comes into fruition. just so you know, and if anyone cares. just sayin.

eta2: also? the fact that i, or we, are complaining and being pissed at the movie, but the opposition are attacking us for doing that? instead of, again, fucking blacklist and leave us the fuck alone? yeah, doesn’t help with the bitter. if y’all are so threatened by our arguments, maybe you should reevaluate your own, seems you’re trying a bit too hard there. i don’t want to take enjoyment from anyone, i envy you too much for that, but ffs, just leave me the fuck alone to deal with it. (that’s not @ you, that’s to them)

eta3: and thank you for saying im someone you like. but see? ive been trolling you all, im terrible. and i expect you don’t like me as much now anyways. but thank you, it was nice to hear nevertheless.

#anon #ask #answered #anti endgame #see? i still tag it ffs #long post #so so long #hey i get it #the positivity is killing me #i get where you're coming from #but it's getting a bit tiresome to have people just come in and tell me to get over it #no matter how well you mean it #im sorry that i cant just snap and make half my feelings go away #y'know bc that would take away any good ones too #good greif infinity war kinda sucks too doesn't it #wow

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