#didnt think op ment that

[nobody-n-particulur]

Love getting told to kms in my inbox because of an incredibly thoughtless, idiotic comment on someone's post

#point my idiocy out to me all day long #it was the exact point OP was making #my comment being apart of the anti indigenous racism they were takkng about #i should know better at 26 but i didnt stop to think about what I was doing #getting asks telking me to die and to kms seems a bit overboard though #and this isnt to deflect me being a dumbfuck but #getting called white 💀 thats part of the wake up call fr #suicide ment

[antifa-terra]

Darkest Minds dash simulator

🐢 greenandproud follow

Literally unfollow me if you’re pro “cure”, as if this isn’t just another way to control us. You guys are cowards and playing into the idea that there’s anything wrong with being Psi

⚡️electronicwarrior follow

Posts clearly made by someone who’s never struggled with control over their power in their life. Of course you’re Green. Some of us have accidentally hurt the people in our lives and don’t want to have to worry about doing that ever again.

🐢 greenandproud follow

And of course you’re Yellow. Way to feed into the anti Psi rhetoric that we’re all inherently dangerous. You’re doing PSF apologists a service

🔋 memoryholed follow

The way I know greenandproud hid out with her grandparents and was never in a camp a day in her life.

🩻 forcedamage follow

I mean, she’s not entirely wrong. I at least think we shouldn’t call it a cure.

#and why should whether or not she was in a camp matter? #i was at black rock and i don’t think the people that hid had it that much easier

2,032 notes

🪬 kinclub

Just heard about some cool alternatives to the color categorization system!

Green = Prodigy

Blue = Kin

Yellow = Spark

🔑 lightningstrikestwice follow

okay op I love the energy but if you start calling yourself a kinnie the olds on this site are NOT gonna think blue

#btw what about reds

530 notes

➕ superwhounlocked follow

Really not sure how to feel about the surge in popularity in this site with teenagers…

🔋memoryholed follow

“with teenagers” please teens from the rest of the world have been here the entire time. just say you hate psi and leave it at that.

#literally you aren’t subtle

21 notes

🧢 freshouttacaledonia follow

Y’all do not in fact have to hand it to the Children’s League.

#i can’t believe i have to say this

7 notes

🦚 unforgettableunforgiveable follow

Starting a discord for Thurmond survivors feel free to dm for a link. Like and reblog for visibility!

#thurmond #psi #tw camps #tw thurmond

7 notes

🐾 jewish-psicychic follow

Friendly reminder that you never have to disclose your power, what camp you were in/if you were in one, and if any one is asking you to, they’re part of the problem.

🦋bluelikethetardis follow

ok but what if I dont want to get burned by a red or mindcontrolled

🐾 jewish-psicychic follow

Did I fucking stutter.

#what part of you are part of the problem is hard to understand

230 notes

🌈 psipositivity follow

- You are valid if you were at a camp!

- You are valid if you were hidden!

- You are valid if you were on the run!

- You are valid if you can control your powers!

- You are valid if you can’t!

No matter how you survived or what abilities you have now, you are so valid and loved!

#psi positivity #camp ment #camp survivor positivity

652 notes

🔸viddygameliker-deactivated20158021

The way you can tell most of the new users on this site haven’t graduated middle school lmaooo

🔑 lightningstrikestwice follow

you know i didnt think there were ratios on this site but damn if op did not get ratio’d to death

#also fuck you so much

3,722 notes

🐬aquamarina follow

I’m looking for the people who were in Cabin Seventeen (girls, blue) at Thurmond! We got separated after we got freed.

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST

#psi #camp survivors #thurmond #thurmond ment #cabin 17 Thurmond

112 notes

#darkest minds #the darkest minds #tdm #Alexandra bracken #never fade #in the afterlight #fake posts #I have more ideas but this is too long as is

[wc-confessions]

a somewhat-known-ish blog once made a comment that was kinda hinting towards my au of a VERY minor character becomming leader (the person listed the exact character) and while the person did do it to point how they had a gripe with how this one character is portrayed as terrible (i admit, it was terrible of me to make the character ooc, and the au isnt ment to be very serious) and i just kinda, lost spark in the au tbh, now thinking about it just reminds me of the post and i feel bad, i know op didnt have ANY malicious intent, but as someone who is practically unknown on here it just kinda, made me sad, but again i understand why

.

#text #anonymous #confession #warrior cats

[narconfessions]

Tw people attempting to sui-bait people for intrusive thoughts, past s/h, mentions of scratching on hands/legs due a cat play-attacking them, passive scar ment, passive murder ment, passive torture ment

Quick disclaimer: no cat/kitten was harmed in any way and the only physical harm was to me, which wasnt intentional and is considerably superficial/not serious. On the mental end however...

(Btw i have bpd, ocd and potentially aspd. I really need a place to put this who wont judge me cause its helping me calm down right now.)I have some impulse issues, intrusive thoughts as well as just adopted a 12 week old kitten(clarity: i have own cats all my life, this is not my first experience with kittens). He'll attack my feet and it hurts every time. All i can do is wiggle him off or pick him up and move him. Hes been doing this the entire time we've had him( about a month now) and ive gotten full on scars from him play attacking. If you saw me and my gfs hands and legs, you'd think we stuck them in paper shredders.

Its been a long emotional and triggering day today and i was just trying to clean up a complex mess of papers and stuff on the floor and he refused to leave me alone, attacking and pouncing on every single thing i picked up or put down. I warned him with just simple words like stop or no so he can get used to them(our older cat picked up what they mean) and i even encouraged him to go play with our older cat like he usually dose. His kennel was behind me and at some point i was just done with dealing with him.

I picked him up and was going to put him in his kennel to calm down when he wiggled really hard and scratched the shit out of my hand. It really hurt and it was on my wrist which really triggering with my past with self harm. I was so angry and done and my impulses and intrusive thoughts just really wanted to hurt him because of just how many times he's hurt me. But i didnt, i just picked him more securely, put him in his kennel and went to the bathroom to clean my hand.

My thoughts got so loud and demanding and was already lightheaded from seeing my scratches that i had to turn the water to freezing cold just to keep my eyes straight and stop myself from drifting and potentially passing out( its medical).

Then i sat down and checked online for some heat of the moment tips to make sure i didnt spiral like deep breathing or how to quiet the thoughts and oh boy was that a mistake. Just people on forums asking for advice for the exact situation i was in and they didnt want to hurt anyone but they had the thoughts. 1/8th of the comments are people telling you to seek therapy, which is vaild but dosent help in the heat of the moment, the other 7/8ths? People talking about graphically murdering or torturing the poor op. Acting rightous for telling him how they hurt him or that he should commit sui. Some shit they said to this guy is stuff ive only heard in the true crime community.

Safe to say, with 0 warning, that was the absolute worst things for me to be reading at that moment. In a sound mind, i know im not my thoughts or impulses. I know that hes a kitten and he did not intend to hurt me, he was just excited and wanted to play with me because he loves me. I know that im worthy of life and just because i felt or thought it, dosent mean i meant it or wanted to hurt someone. But in the moment? That hurt. Alot. And I'm lucky it didnt lead to sh or even worse.

Im sorry if this isnt what this is for but i dont feel safe anywhere else to put this and the internet showed me that today in a moment of weakness.... It still amazes me how people can scream for support for people with adhd or depression but the second traumatized people with intrusive thoughts enter the picture, we are monsters...

Im ok now but this is what leads to alot of hurt or worse mentally ill people who are just reaching out for help before anything gets worse and some in the "anti-ableism" community pretends its not them in the comments telling people to hurt themselves instead of others while the intention should be getting them help so no one gets hurt. Its not shocking at this point.

it sounds like you handled this situation the best way you could, by not hurting yourself or others. i’m proud of you anon. but it sucks you had to see that, it’s a sad truth of how people who are supposedly “supportive” of MI people, will easily throw us under the bus the second our symptoms are too much for them :/

#npd #npd safe #actually npd #actuallynpd #aspd #aspd safe #actually aspd #actuallyaspd

[joculatrixster]

“aloe isn’t masculine” yeah tell that to the ppl who threw a pissy fit over her pronouns when they were first reveal. if you’re not tma then you need to stay in your lane about this and listen to trans women on what is and isnt trans-misogyny

i should rlly make a tldr because i talk way too much and this is too long tldr:

sorry if i was dissmive i was talking about anoher post so didnt want to delve into anons point because it was in relation to a post that litteraly said aloe shouldn't be drawn fem so i was more arguing against the idea aloe shouldn't be a women, ppl who use hcs to "soften the blow" r the ppl im against so i saw it more as the ppl who dont like fem aloe in general not likeing trans aloe because it makes aloe a girl and i didnt consider previously ppl would use THAT as a soften blow too thats gross if its why ppl did that, im gonna assume u skimmed my psot because u seemed to miss when i both argued aloe beign masculine doesnt mean she couldnt be a women as in i acknowledged her masculine traits and the multiple times i told the anon that i agree with their point and i thanked them for bringing it to my attention, my issue is litteraly with the ppl who use hcs or ignore canon that aloe uses she/her as the op with their tag saying aloe should not be drawn feminine aligned so i was talking more about that, anon had a point and i agreeed with that point, my point is im tierd of the ppl that assumed aloe was a man/masc nb when yes anon she wasnt gendered that was fanon not canon and ppl assumed things then got upset their assumptions werent right wich was fucked of them and i think its dumb ppl cant jsut accept aloe is a girl or at least uses she/her, if u dont like the hc for the reason that ur reading it with the undertones the anon pointed out thats fair! ur allowed to feel that way and if thats a reason most ppl have the hc thats indeed weird as fuck, i talked about mainly how i veiwed it and im not the person who can speak for everyone so yeah like i said in my original post take my opinion with a grain of salt since for all i know most ppl r being gross about it like the ppl who threw the fit in the first place

so yeah fair point, i think the fact ppl mainly assumed aloe was a male/madc algned was an issue in the first place and the fact ppl r all trying to scramble to hold onto that wrong assumption is fucked and ppl should acknowledge seeing aloe and by extension alot of nb characters as masc aligned or strictly androg is wack and the fact ppl with the trans hc may not acknowledge the fact aloe was seen as a guy and ask the "why" for that mass assumption instead jsut making hcs to cope or whatever is an issue and one i do understand ur point on, i agree with u anon and i agreed with the other anon if that got lost in the sauce then i get that since my other psot wasnt about the anons point but dont get me wrong ppl who use hcs to hide away from canon with aloe r wack and we as a fandom should think about WHY aloe was seen as a guy because she wasn't ment to be and never was canonly aligned with guys wich is what i ment when saying aloe wasnt masc in canon i was specifically calling out the fanon concepts with that

i hope this is more clear since im less tired and tried to summarize my points better, if i came off as not listening to u then fair ig but i was and i did agree with the anon so yeah if u wanna talk more about it we can im down for hearing more about the issue

(((also about the ene masse thing i cant rlly talk about that because hcs do spread fast with new cookies that ppl looked forward too plus aloes costume had demigirl and bigender flag colors im pretty sure but also i cant assume the motives of everyone and the aloe is a lesbain hc is something ive seen more i didnt know how wide spread trans aloe was so yeah idk how to address that one point someoen brought up in replies since i can see the point but also its hard to tell for me cause i havent seen specifically trans binary aloe alot jsut fem nb aloe so im not gonna rlly touch it im just gonna agree it can be read that way and its a topic that should be discussed in a better post thx i jsut dont wanna reply to that person since its on the ops post i think and i dont want to be in a reply chain there since i made my point and id rather talk on my own pist tuen blow up ops inbox if an argument happens idk)))

this is gonna end up being repetitive again isnt it? f word, hope my point wasnt lost i jsut suck at articulating what i ment so if im coming off as dissmive again im trying not to be litteraly what im saying is my post was in relation to another post and that made the reply seem like i was arguing against anon when i was rlly saying anons point was good i jsut didnt think the op had the same veiws an if they did they didnt articulate it well, the anon ill admit is the forst time ive seen someoen bring that issue up mabey i missed it since other posts might not have explained it like anon did so i didn't pick up on it but yeah anon was right in sayign that if that was the case for most thats fucked, the only reason i made the psot was like i said my trans friend dmed me about it so i tried to point out to op how their post might be read i didnt jsut decide to reply to the post to talk over transwomen i replied because a trans woemn friend of mine saw the post and thought op was saying aloe should be a guy and shouldn't be portrayedas trans and fem, i said trans women can agree with the post thats fine and it is fine if trans women dont like trans aloe for the reasons anon stated if it reads that way to most trans ppl then thats fucked up and im sorry the fandom is being weird about aloe

#mod trix #anon #cookie run discourse #i rlly need to stop checking tumblr before i go to sleep and ince i wake up #hope this one isnt as repetitive or something #i am genuinely sorry for being dismissive i jsut wasnt gonna talk about the point in relation to the post op made #it can be a separate discussion and should be talked about rlly #anywayyy yeah as i was saying in my first psot thats a fair point and if thats whats going on its shitty #ppl can not like the hc for that reason its a fair one #im assuming u read my whole psot anon and the tags but if u didn't thats fine but i litteraly was agreeing with the anon jsut #didnt think op ment that #thoooo the op coulda i isut thought they came off saying something different abd the post wasnt well worded #if ppl r ginna talk about trans aloe in relation to this issue then yeah thats fair #the ops tag flagged me as their one of the ppl who dont like fem aloe not rlly trans aloe so thats different

[5ace]

day6 in toronto

where do i start.....im still in shock. okay so before the concert started, this really nice girl gave me and my friend really cute signs to hold up that she made and i only found out today that it was @everyday6 so thank you!!!

dowoon was the first to walk on stage and my heart literally stopped for a second when i saw his little silver head make its way up to the drum set

when all the members came out, they played a few songs then they did their introductions and when young k asked dowoon to say something, he stood up and everyone started cheering for him really loudly because he had been covered by the drum set up until then and he got all flustered it was really cute akjsdhfk

they played a few more songs then had a longer ment because sungjin’s guitar was having problems or something and during that time wonpil tried talking to us in english and he said we were “wonderful” and “so hot” and “so amazing’ in this really adorable voice like he was unsure of himself before switching to korean, and when the translator was speaking he started mouthing along pretending like it was him

jae said that every time young k talked, half the crowd was cheering and the other half was yelling ‘brian’ so he had all of us chant ‘brian’ while he died laughing

since sungjin’s guitar still wasn't fixed, young k stalled by telling us about how he came up with the name brian and how he looked in a book of baby names to find the perfect one and how he started with A then went to B then went to Br and “there it was........Brian” oh and the whole time wonpil was playing emotional piano music in the background it was so funny aksjsdndfj

Dowoon started trying to out dramatize wonpil on the drums and they went back and forth for a couple of seconds

they played more songs then did ments again then dowoon said in english that the next part was the end of their concert and when we all reacted he got all surprised, i think because he didn't expect to have said it right

then he said “you know what I'm saying” laughed then tried to pass off the mic to jae and then young k told us that he says the same thing in korean at their other concerts and was laughing cause he did the same thing but in english

then young k started teasing us and we kept repeating after him while he said “yeah” while changing notes and stuff until he did some extra ass vibrato and we all just cheered for him (wonpil laughed at him lmao)

they performed some more songs and then did their ending ments and jae started by saying that since toronto is special to young k, we should chant ‘young k’ for him and we did and he had the biggest smile on his face it was so heartwarming

young k did like a 5 minute long motivational speech about believing in yourself and how youth isn't just about age and it was just so nice to hear him speak for so long, his speaking voice is so smooth

when they were getting ready to take the picture, young k said “yeahhhh I'm gonna be in the middle”

the ending songs were so wild, they were jumping around and coming into the audience and it was so hectic and crazy and i didn't know where to look. i would be filming one member then suddenly another one would come to the front of the stage which was nice since i got to see jae and sungjin more at the end (their instruments were set up a little farther away from me than the other members for most of the show)

then suddenly wonpil walks riGHT IN FRONT OF ME ASKJFHC I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK I SWEAR I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO I DIDNT SEE HIM UNTIL HE WAS RIGHT THERE AND I STILL HAVENT GOTTEN OVER IT

i had photo op and was in the first group and when they called us to go in and sit down, while i was walking, i made eye contact with sungjin and he smiled at me encouragingly and it took me a second to process it but then i smiled back and he just has such a reassuring presence, i was nervous but as soon as i saw him i was just happy

#ill make a separate post about each member just in general and how they acted and stuff cause this post is gonna get way too long if i #include it here lmao #mine #day6 #day6 in toronto #park jaehyung #park sungjin #young k #kim wonpil #yoon dowoon

[stripesquadsideblog]

Naruto talk: Deidara’s family

Ok so ive spent ALLLLLL DAY looking for this one post that set all this off but i CANNOT FIND IT ANYWHERE.

Tl:dr of the post was OP thought Deidaras last name was Namikazi and i am 10000% on board but it also made me think like, how did he wind up in iwa??? There was also another post about the akatsuki and how deidara just wanted to be appreciated for his damn art but  no one in iwa cared but i cant find that either????

So.SO

Headcanon time

Deidara is a lil war orphan. (like 99%of the akatsuki are orphans???)

One of his parents is an explosion release user from Kiri and one is from konohas Namikazi clan

Everyone in the Namikazi clan has blond hair and big blue eyes/ Nordic features which are all really rare among ninja in the land of fire.

Namikazi’s also have a propensity for Wind style chakra. Deidara has this too but was only ever trained to use his Explosion release.

Im not sure if his parents are both ninja but i think whoever had explosion release was at least Chunin .

Parent A with explosion release was declared a missing nin and killed while they and deidara were travelling forcing the remaining parent B to flee .

Unfortunately second parent B was killed at the start of the 3rd ninja war because it was discovered that they were a konoha nin living in Iwa leaving bby deidara wandering the streets alone.

At this stage he's like 3-5 years old .

He has no idea his last name is Namikazi. He knows his parents died but he didn’t actually watch them die ( unlike konan and nagato for example) so it was more like they just went away rather than being really traumatizing. Onoki , kurotsuchi and Kitsuchi are the only family he knows.

honestly doesnt really remember his parents at all. 

While out surveying the damage Onoki and Kitsuchi find baby deidei wandering around in rubble possibly near dead parent B waiting for them to wake up.

Onoki and kitsuchi contemplated leaving deidara to the mercy of the war but Kitsuchi had just had Kurotsuchi and couldn’t stand to hear a little kid cry.

Kitsuchi brings deidara home like a stray puppy while his wife is giving him “theres a war on how we going to feed another child” face.

Deidara spends a lot of time with Onoki while Kitsuchi and his wife are out at war.

Kurotsuchi is like 2-4 and is happy to have a new sibling with pretty doll hair that she can totally mess up. This is why she calls him Big Brother Deidara.

His birthday isnt actually May 5th, thats just the day Kitsuchi found him.

Even though he's been adopted and thats a lot better than being completely orphaned and left on the streets like the ame trio things still aren’t great for deidara.

His new family are all Iwa born and bred. Iwa is a VERY militaristic place,just look at their shinobi’s attitude. Kurotsuchi is a daddies girl so she gets things better than him, gets away with a lot more than he does.

For Deidara his life is run like hes constantly at military boot camp.

Even from a young age deidara showed more intrest in art than fighting . this has always been a point of contention between him and Onoki/Kitsuchi. They frequently threw out or ruined deidaras art projects in an attempt to get him to serve the village more.

Deidara and Kurotsuchi were always the top of their class in Iwa Academy. Kitsuchi is secretly very proud of his powerful kekkai genkai children but he’d never tell them.

No matter what deidara did in ninjutsu he always tried to make it artistic

Baby deidara always had trouble controlling his explosion release ( because his wind chakra made things a little....volatile?) he’d blow things up by sneezing or smacking his hand down on something too fast.

When it was discovered deidara had explosion release he was instantly taken up by Onoki as his student because Iwa was one of the few nations who still held up Kekkai Genkai users as the best weapons of war the ninja world had to offer. Deidara wasn’t happy about this but he wasn’t given any say.

It was Kurotsuchis mom who suggested he mould his chakra into clay since it was a very stable material.

She didn’t discourage his artistic persuits like her husband but because iwa is so focused on war and fighting she couldn’t really encourage him either knowing he’d have to give it up at some point.

Literally no one in Iwa cares about art and if they do they tend to keep it to themselves

I cant help but feel if deidara had gotten praise from one person for his art and not being a weapon he wouldn’t have gone postal.

Now he's grown up he’s 99% of his own praise.

If someone had gotten to him before he got all egotistical and given him some praise he would latch onto them like a lamprey eel.

Deidara was only like 14 when he left the village. he’d had enough of everyone either ignoring him and his art or treating him like a Tool .

Kurotsuchi was about 12 and didnt really understand why he left ( even to this day) she asked kitsuchi a few times but he would usually just lie or paint deidara in a bad light so as to put kurotsuchi against the idea of looking for him/ against deidara himself.

I have SO many feels about Deidara. i only ment for this to be like 4 bullet points but woops.

anyway if anyone knows what post i was talking about at the top hmu so i can reblog and tag it and so on.

#Deidara #deidara namikazi #kurostuchi #kitsuchi #onoki #iwa #headcanons #deidara headcanons #naruto talk #naruto #iwagakure #caxy had a thought

[textswithmonstax]

MONSTA X in San Francisco!!

Hello my lovelies!! I know I haven't updated in forever, but I did want to share my experience of MX in SF on 7/21/2017 with all of you! Warning: This is very long but it’s pretty detailed. Props to you if you manage to read all of it!!

OKAY LETS START WITH THE FACT I WASNT EVEN GOING TO GO TO THIS CONCERT. When tickets had originally gone on sale in May, I was like on a kpop hiatus bc of school and I was also super broke so I decided not to go and didnt buy tickets. Im not sure why I went about this because as soon as the first show happened in Chicago and I saw fan accounts about it on twitter and everything i had immediately regretted it and went to find tickets as soon as possible. i managed to get my hands on a p1 ticket and found out that some of my mutuals were going as well so i had talked to them about meeting up etc etc. I aM SOSOSOSOSOSSO THANKFUL FOR THEM bc they let me join them in line after I got off of work which was late and required so much effort including wristbands and SO MUCH STRESS.

SO IN THE END AFTER THE MESS i was lucky enough to the front row on the very left side, and there were no speakers blocking or a barricade in front of me WHICJ WAS NICE. i ended up getting separated from my friends who were in the middle second row but i had preferred the side bc i thought i could get better fan service especially since i was in the front row. the show finally started and even though it was sometimes difficult to see what was in the middle due to the speakers,   during dances their formations had them pretty spaced out on the stage so there was a lot of dancing close by. they were so close and gorgeous and it was so breathtaking bc they’re real and just right there. For example during wonho's solo performance when he was shirtless I was so in awe of him bc you could see how defined and sculpted his torso is, and all the little details. i especially appreciated when he danced and poured his heart out right in front of me.

FANSERVICE MOMENTS:

AS KIHYUN TRASH I WENT ALL OUT AND MADE A LIGHT UP SIGN AND FAN WITH DERP PICS TO GET HIM TO NOTICE ME AND IT HAPPENED ONLY ONCE IN THE BEGINNING MENT. ALL IS WELL BC RAP LINE CURED MY SOUL.

A lot of the time jooheon and changkyun were on my side and close by, and i would always just give a little wave and smile ans EVERY TIME THEY WOULD WAVE OR SMILE BACK I WAS SO TAKEN ABACK BC IT HAPPENED ABOUT 10 TIMES. During I'll Be There, they all have different places where they are the entire song and Changkyun was on the stairwell right in front of me. he would be a little spacey at times, but if he was looking in the direction where I was standing I would wave and he noticed and waved/smiled back which happened twice during the song. White Sugar is the next song and when they handed out chocolates and I got 4 total from Changkyun, Minhyuk, Jooheon and then the security guard gave me the one Wonho gave him lol. But basically as soon as Changkyun got his basket, i had immediately searched him out and we made eye contact and he tossed it to me first akdiqjsiwoqlsbdja. I had it on video but i was so set on making sure i got it the filming was terrible. 

There was a large distance between the barricade and edge of the stage, so a lot of the chocolate was thrown out. Because there were no speakers where I was;  the members all came over to throw out candy, which got me one that i caught from minhyuk. Wonho came over, made eye contact with me then gave it to the security guard and laughed........ that tease. By the last chorus, the members had all emptied their baskets but there were a few pieces of candy left on stage. JOOHEON STARTED WALKING TO WHERE I WAS AND THERE WAS A SNICKERS RIGHT IN THE WIRES IN FRONT OF ME. I SMILED AT HIM AND WAVED AND HE WALKED OVER WITH A SMILE LOOKING AND ME, BENT DOWN AND GOT THE SNICKERS AND HANDED IT TO ME!!! HOMIE WAS DEAD SET ON GIVING IT TO ME TOO I GOT THEM RECEIPTS IN THE SLOW MO VIDEOS AND SCREENSHOTS.

ANYWAYS AFTER THIS; I STILL THRIVED IN INTERACTIONS WITH RAP LINE. There was a particular moment I remember later in the choreography when Jooheon was on my side of the stage and he was kneeling, looked over, I waved and he like laughed and had the cutest eyesmiles. Later on during 5:14, Changkyun was right in front of me and (I had my video on selfie video mode to see if he would take it but they didnt take phones from fans) but he pointed to it and then waved later hes :') so :') cute :')

Something else that had happened to me was Minhyuk would tend to look at me when he was in front of me and i would politely wave and smile to him! I know that they meet thousands and thousands of fans, but according to the group he and KH have the best memory of faces. My friend had also sent the video of me from the airport last uear to his mom who sent it to him, so i doubt he remembered and was just giving fan service but a girl can dream.

HiTouch/Photo-Op Experience!!

Okay so after the show I finally found my friends again and we were all waiting for hi-touch and photo op. When we lined up, and started actually going, i had no idea they were going to be in the venue lobby as all of the other kpop concerts I had gone to had benefits on the stage. But as soon and I turned the corner they were right there! The order was Kihyun -> Wonho -> Changkyun -> Shownu -> Jooheon -> Minhyuk. It was really fast if I'm being honest and I couldn't really drag it out, but I did as much as I could. I simply said thank you to all of them except for when I got to Minhyuk, in which i said "Thank you! You're my friend _____'s cousin!" And he smiled at me at first, then did a complete double take and looked at me as I walked away in complete shock.

For photo-op, we were in groups of 20, and my friends were numbers 4-7, so we were in the group right in front of the members. One of my friends and another girl had already said they wanted to be in front of Kihyun, so I decided to go between Changkyun and Wonho. That friend had ended up in front of Shownu, and then ran over to Kihyun to be next to him. When this happened, the spacing was off AND CHANGKYUN GRABBED MY SHOULDERS AND DRAGGED ME TO BE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!! His touch is honestly so gentle and he didn't even really say anything and just moved me to him where I ended up getting blocked by someone taller in front of me. I whined a little bit if I'm being honest, and was like "Oh I'm so short though" and he was just like "It's okay just stand here" then took his hands off of me. I'm still swooning over it and when I think about it, I get the chills because of it and I must be crazy but I still feel like his hands are there. I was so shaken up I forgot to ask to do anything like a heart and just smiled lol but I'm perfectly okay with it because of what happened. After 2 or 3 photos, we all left and I definitely milked saying bye and Changkyun and I smiled at eachother again and wow I'm suddenly a Changkyun stan.

This was very very long and I didn't intend for it to be like this, but that was my fan account for MX in San Francisco!! If you have any questions hit up my inbox or follow my twitter @aachiyuto! :)

#personal #fan account #monsta x #mxinsf

[soofection]

op: 

kaiso.o  DID #KAISOO SPOT OUT THE SIGN?(Day2) -from another kaisoo shipper “Hello, im a kaisoo fan from Hong Kong and I attended 12th day to exordium, if u see this video, theres a changing colour LED sign, (my sign) and i wrote ‘카디’ (((i actually used another video which was clearer imo))) Unfortunately i didnt get a video like u bc i was too busy trying to raise my sign hahhaa But OMG I SWEAR KAISOO SAW MY SIGN!! I THINK THEY REALLY LOVE IT And like u said soo was really discrete, or he tries to HIDE he sees it but i swear hes always looking!! I usually use my binoculars in all concerts so i really do see he always look at my block And at the end of the concert both ji annnnd soo came to my side to wave goodbye i swear both waved at my sign, bc ji even raised his arm higher the same time i raised my sign for him to see Btw soo looked when he was at my block’s side but he also looked during the very first ment, i used binoculars to see him hahaha. Too bad i didnt manage to take vids cries, i was so busy flailing my banner around lol” - [ 170212—The EXO_'rDium in Hong Kong Day 2 ]

FANACC HK EXO_’rDium Day 2

In continuance of kaiso.o’s kaisoo fan in HK Exo_rdium Day 1, the girl who bought this LED sign to HK DAY 2 yesterday is actually one of my friends, so to add more details: 

She told me that soo seemed to have noticed her sign before ji did since he always glanced in her direction during the first ment. Ji and soo went to her side’s extended stage multiple times (choreo assigned positions) so whenever she sees kaisoo turn their heads to her direction, she made sure to raise the sign above her head for a few seconds to let them see the sign.

(tbc kaisoo  noticing her sign is out of question)

She said she actually noticed many kaisoo moments where they just stare at each other, esp. at the end of performing a section of the concert. ((always our subtle couple)), she really hope fansites caught those staring moments and post them. 

She thought the best part was at the end of the concert where both ji and soo came to her side of the stage to wave goodbye, and like op posted, ji seems to have especially raised his arm to wave at her LED sign when she raised it up, soo did too but in a more general way. ((She said their smiles were so precious!) 

–

I am sad that she didn’t’ take videos as proof but I definitely won’t be shocked if kaisoo noticed her sign and truly appreciated her visible support. So If you are a kaisoo shipper, its actually so  important to show them support and let them know that there are still fans who care about them and love seeing them together. 

#kaisoo #kadi #hong kong

[1david-rey-blog]

MAYBE

I Guess my question is, why not, and when i can still keep on asking then the question is, how do i stop this, how do i stop hurting other, how do i stop from being who i am to be an angle, finally...  i dont know the answere, i guess, because my answere always leads to suicide, i have no one to hold onto, and the only person i talk to is 3 hours away from me, the only person i talk to, doesnt want to talk to me anymore, so therefore, i am alone.  I remember the day i picked her up from the airport, because she asked me to, i couldnt have felt better. nothing ive ever done before felt so right or so good than to hold her tightly in my arms, feel her nervous body shaking as she huged me back, hold me tight, my arms, were filled with what they could ever be filled with that felt right. i noticed her eyes and skin, flawless freckles runing acros her body like little star spark that ment the world to me, she was the reason to breath in deep and depp out, everything that was ever wron was forgoten and everything that was ever right, was noticed. she did that, she did the best she could and it always worked, i dont know how to explain this to anyone, i guess the most understandable thing to say is that it was simply magic. be it dark be it regular, i dont care i just know she was genuinly the best that could have ever happened to me.  I am sure you must be asking yourself who she is, well  ill tell you  because it beginns when i was 2 years old  playing on the ground with a yellow construction truck  is one of my earliest memories, i keep it a secret, because the story is to morbid,  the door bell rang and my babysiter went to open the door, she was ironing clothes on the ironing table that was some what foulty and on my height, i remember that i craweld up to it and wanted to iron my things, i dont remember the rest, perhabs it was too much suffer for my young brain, but what happened was that the iron fell on my fingers to burn them as bad as it could get, the stroy goes like this she called my mom not knowing what to do, i was brought to the nearest hospital, they couldnt do anything, it was clear to them, that it has gone to be an amputation case, as my mom got to know they would amputate the index, middle and ring finger of my right hand, she cried, but not only did she cry, she decided to not let it happen.  my mom remembers the fact that the patient next to me, a girl 6 years old got both her index fingers amputaded, her mom was shaterd into pieces.  My Mom, a thriving woman, that was independent since the begining of time, was to become some one very important in the colombian education system, she went thru all her contacts to find out who was making the desicions in the h ospital, the big Boss  she found her, the same night and went to her to explain her point, the situation and ofcorse, my mom would want the best solution for her last kid of 3.  my operation was planed at 7 in the morning, how ever, no one ever picked me up from my room, the nurse got mad at my mom since she was prepared and ready for the operation, i was writen ill so an amputation was out of question.  as my mother decided to tell the doctor to transplant skin from my uper leg to my little fingers, he did so.  no one ever knew who wrote me as ill or sick before my Operation, the Boss of the hospital, called at 9, after the OP Due.  i was a kid full of energy and good vibe, never would i stop for anyone never would i go down of a tree.  at 5  my family decided to move to germany,  if youre familiar with the colombian curency you would know how poor we were in europe, and how rich we were in colombia...  we were poor,  and i dont remember much, just that i got physicaly abused. a lot  we grew up as imigrants who faced rasicsm and descrimination, it was when i noticed that my skin was diferent to europeans than to colombians, or south americans...  at the age of 12 i got raped by my only best friend, and only friend, my first friend.. while having been bulied in school i found my self into a nerve wrecking despression, i shared my room with my brother back then, it was in the middle of the night and as selfless that i am, i never spoke out to anyone except my therapist, no one ever knew, except those who come later, at 18.  at 14 i got my first mountain bike, the porbably most important day i ever had i started to do trials, pop a wheelie, or a jump, i had skills at 15, and a new bike 16  at 17 i told my best friend about what happened when i was 12  but didnt tell her i had to sleep with the lights on, or that i would constantly have nightmares and go to my mothers bed, sometimes, and still found my self needing hugs.  at 18 i told my then gf about what happened, but i wasnt taken serious, at 19 i found my self going back into a hole of depression, it was the year i met an important person in my life, who didnt only steal my jacked but also riped 50 euros off of me, and shaterd my vacation in colombia. it was fine thought.  at 20 i met the most abusive person that id know, who never layd a hand on me, instead, decided to cut my soul into pieces and throw it away,  my selfless body couldnt escape, and so it decided to faint, i was never taken serious and always for granted, i am. alone.  at the same year i met my best friend who would know more things than any one ever could, perhabs, i was going to therapy and everything seemed to start make sense,  i quited my study to become a physiotherapy, to be who i always wanted to be, an athlete that rides mountain bikes. i broke up with the abusive shit load.  and fell inlove with my best friend... she, who i picked up from the airport.  my story is not thrilling neither happy, it is made of a series of unlucky events and let me tell you, i dont think luck will ever come.  not knowing how to explain my overhtinking date how i could love some one and then fall inlove after, althought i knew both of them at the same time, ment for me that i am loosing the single most important person of my life, especially as she sayd i cant with this.  it was just 4 weeks since i conciderd suicide, and drew a box and an arrow pointing out of it stating “life begins at the edge of my comfort”  well now, i am there, and i am about to end it, i just found my self with a headache red eyes and tear runing down my face, on a page “50 reasons why you shouldnt kill yourself”  and to each and every single one i had the perfect answere to.  and sometimes a question.  The world doesnt need me, and the world doesnt know me,  i remember some one asking me if  i believe in desteny  and destiny is a lying bitch. so i sayd yes. but not the same as you.  this might be my last letter, lets hope its not, i am giving everyone so many hints, so many clues, i dont notice my self i do, but i do  i dont know what to do anymore except wait for an ambulance perhabs to save me from an overdose... google is a true friend, some times, but useless when you type in the emergency help tell number, no one ever picks up. today is my sisters birthday, and i feel bad for maybe leaving them for ever behind, after life, is not a thing, there is empty and nothing ever better.  it would be the end, the black screen, thoughtless, slefless, lets call it being one with nothing. because thats what i am. nothing. in other words, ending my life would be for me to be one with what i had to become.

[joculatrixster]

not to be that guy but the whole “light skin poc exist” is a tactic often used to demean black ppl who want to be seen as apart of cultures which demean them...like colorism is a whole thing and you’re perpetuating it bro

omg i made a whole reply to this then backspaced like an idot so ill just say this, being dark skinned isnt an insult and i dont think light skinned ppls issues over shadow dark skinend issues to preface, ik u didnt say that anon but my post could have and has bee interpreted that way. my post was a vent, a poorly worded vent i made while crying and shaking iver one stupid post and honestly i regret makign the post thwn replying to ppl so much it jsut made me not think straight and those dms made it alot worst. but to answer the actual ask i do understand that, thats not hat my psot was saying but holy fuck i missed the mark with my post, i wrongly assumed ppl would understand it when i couldn't tupe straight and was wayyy to in my feleings, thats completely my fauly and i get why ppl thought i was being colorist or racist because i wasnt makign my points clear and r wanst till those dms i relized the main issue. im uncomfortable when characters r changed, like in general if a characters skintone, gender, heritage, all that good stuff is changed or tesited i get uncomfortable, its worst for comfort characters or kins and definitely affects me more with mixed, light skinned characters, women, or bi characters because well those r my identities. that being said my post could have been read as "thats equal to whitewashig, its equally as offensive to be made darker" wich holy shit is not what i was trying to say and im so sorry to my followers and mutuals who read it that way, i know white washing is horrendous and im aware of the racist history it has, i was not thinkign clearly and chose an example i could think of wich i diffintly was an asshole for equavalitign them because they r far from equal, i don't want white ppl to see me as a poc and decide i gave them a pass to do whitewashing because "shes black and she said they were also bad too!" uh uh thats not it. i was trying to make the point "seeing characters thaat repent me being treated like they r not good representation because thwy look like me amkes me uncomfortable because it reminds me of how many ppl dont see light skinned ppl as ppl with struggles too or as good enough representation, can we all jsut agree there needs to be more dark skinned characters and not change established ones in fanart?" but i came off as "racebeding is all bad, u dakr skinned artist r offending me because u think u have issues well we all have issues so there!" right anon? thats ok if u read it like that, well not rlly ok but i see how i fucked up. and well yeah i jsut wanted to be out and open about this because its rlly stupid that i didnt take a moment to save psot as drafe and come back later, i let a stupid dm conversation make my mood worst when i should have just blocked the op wayyy back when they kept ignoring what i was saying and tried everything to make me seem worst, i rlly like rllllllly should have dmed my other black friedns about it so they could have helped me calm down instead of venting on discord because ily guys but u kinda made me feel justified more when i made a badly worded post with comparing it to white washing. ig this is jsut an ask im using to own up to my post? ur ask is barelt about this but the other ask i got also gave me a slap in the face because the person was obviously white and used the word "woke" which is antisjw talk meaning "minority who wants to be acknowledged" and like fuckign HELL i wanted my post to be used to devalue other black and poc voices i rlly wasnt trying to do that i was trying to point out a thin that i think is a bit of an issue and wanted to see if other light skinned poc could relate to my specific struggle, i instead gave ppl a post that made them feel like i dont think dark skinned ppl deserve representation wich wasnt what i ment at all and im jsut rlly sorry to anyone who read my post thinking i ment that. also in case anyone wants to say im not taking responsibility for calling it a vent i genuinely wasnt in the right mental state and i get way too defensive when upset, ive done something similar on my side blog and im working on the issue but currently the best thing for me to do is take a break so ive deleted the app for now and will come back after a few days when i stop begin as emotionally affected, see yall later.