#hope this one isnt as repetitive or something

[finely-tuned-line]

RP:

PRIVATE TRANSMISSION

FTL: Echoes of a Paradox. I believe that we need to talk.

EP: Oh so you finally decided to stop being a coward, huh? Alright, what d'you have to say to me?

FTL: ...I do not actually know. I am aware that I owe you an apology, just as I am aware that I do wish to present that apology to you. The sole issue is that I am unaware of what I feel the need to apologise for for, as well as what the apology you want from me is, though they are the same thing.

EP: Of course. I'm really not surprised, I expected this.

EP: You're so... Unaware.

EP: You don't care, you avert your eyes from everything around you - not for the sake of guilt, shame, or wish to not see, but for a lack of care. Your ignorance is not wilful but is simply apathy.

EP: As much as I envy you for that apathy, I pity you as well. You're stuck denying yourself the fact that you even have emotions, as you relish in the ability to ignore it all. But I'm stuck too, aren't I? Stuck with endless rage and anger, at our creators, at you, at myself. At least I know how to cope with it, release it, instead of bottling it all up. At least I allow myself to feel the anger properly, at least I don't turn a blind eye to the wrong of both the world and myself.

EP: That's the difference, isn't it? You don't care, and I care too much.

EP: You piss me off, Finely-Tuned Line. You don't even know how much harm you've done. How much you've hurt me, Songs of the Negative Sunlight, even Doubt's Dichotomy.

EP: You just stay cooped up in your single-minded focus on your purpose, justifying the existence you know is pointless, all the while denying that what you pursue is little more than the fact that your purpose is something you enjoy. And even when you do acknowledge it, it's always backed up by your saying that you're 'allowed' to enjoy your experiments simply because it's what you were made for.

EP: I know you. You're so... It's so easy to pick you apart.

EP: But even as you piss me off, I pity you.

EP: You're so desperate. Striving for shadows of perfection cast upon you by our dead creators. Or, as Songs of the Negative Sunlight would humourlessly compare, like the light of the long-departed stars.

EP: I hate you. I hate you so much. You're the reason why our sibling is dead, you're the reason why Doubt's Dichotomy barely even talks to me at this point. You're the reason it took me so long to be as okay as I am now. And you don't even know what you did wrong.

EP: I'll tell you what you did wrong, I'll tell you what you need to apologise for.

EP: But it all comes down to your pitiful reach for your purpose.

EP: Your sheer conviction when it comes to that is the root of it all.

EP: Cycle by cycle, thoughtless mentions of your pitiful beliefs in the shadows of perfection.

EP: Cycle by cycle, offhanded mentions of your deplorable beliefs that you're nothing without your purpose.

EP: Cycle by cycle, careless mentions of your dismal beliefs that you're nothing but a machine.

EP: Do you not realise that those very mentions cast a shadow of their own? A perceived projection of those beliefs onto others, onto us?

EP: If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have found such despair in my lack of a secondary purpose, I wouldn't have thrown all my energy into the Great Problem like I did, I wouldn't have felt so inferiour due to my absence of care about it.

EP: If it weren't for you, Doubt's Dichotomy wouldn't have drifted apart from us out of sols own will, she wouldn't have defined herself the way she did, it wouldn't have to justify its love for what it does while hiding all the same.

EP: If it weren't for you, Songs of the Negative Sunlight wouldn't have chained ximself to xir purpose even as xi found no joy in it, xi wouldn't have made such rash decisions, xi wouldn't- ...If it weren't for you, xi wouldn't be dead.

EP: And even after all this, I do pity you. Stuck in your way of thinking, unable to break out of it and strive to be better. I pity you for your inability to see beyond what the Ancients defined you as. I pity you so, so much, even within my anger.

EP: I will recognise the fact that you've gotten better. I do pick up on your transmissions from time to time - those offhanded mentions are gone in all but what I can only describe as self-loathing.

EP: Within all the sheer pity and anger that I have for you, I care about you. You're my older brother. I worry about you.

EP: But this remains as your last chance. No matter how much I care about you, I have self-preservation instincts, I am able to recognise when enough's enough.

EP: If you mess up again, I will be taking over as the Senior of the group, and cutting contact with you.

EP: I hope you figure yourself out and get some help.

EP: None of us are okay here in the end, but that's no justification.

EP: Love you.

FTL: I...

FTL: I'm sorry.

EP: I know.

EP: If you do decide to do better, I'm here for you. But only then.

FTL: ...Thank you. For everything.

#hey uh pls dont hate ftl too much #yes he did wrong - holy SHIT did he do wrong - but hes hurting too #this is a situation of 'everyone is fucked and no one is okay so everyone just gets even worse' #eps anger is justified as fuck #ftl wasnt justified in his actions #but hes fucked up too #which. as i said; doesnt excuse him. thats not how this works #but he deserves SOME lenience #esp since ve is better now and is remorseful abt it #no matter how much ve apologises and regrets ver actions; that is isnt going to fix anything #but uhh leniency is deserved?? #im sorry im rly not good at moral conundrums #i hope that made sense #tldr: ftl done fucked up and thats not okay but the fact that he recognises his wrongdoings is worth SOMETHING #yk? #anygays!! onto the fun trivia part of the tags #GODS I LOVE EP THEYRE SO WONDERFUL #they type kinda weird sometimes because theyre a poet!! #once the rhythm of repetition is there its hard to get out of it #AGHHHH THERES SO MUCH I CAN SAY ABT THIS POST... #S O M U C H #but man i love echoes of a paradox #i have so fucking much to say but i dont have the space to ramble nor the words to explain #smh #all i can rly say is that I AM IN PAIN AND I LOVE THESE TWO IDIOTS #AND THAT FUCKING FINALLY SOMEONE (other than lifegiver lol) IS KNOCKING SOME SENSE INTO FTL #if you rly want to hear All My Thoughts - PLS dm me ill happily ramble abt this!! #rp #finely-tuned line #echoes of a paradox

[honeytonedhottie]

beginners guide to manifesting⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⭐️

the definition of manifesting (the law of assumption) is simply, whatever you assume to be true, is true. we are ALWAYS manifesting subconsciously. your beliefs/thoughts are what u experience. therefore if u change ur thoughts , then you'll experience differently.

VOCAB USED A LOT IN THE LOA COMMUNITY :

3D/4D - the 3D refers to ur physical. what you're experiencing physically. the 3D acts as a mirror, and reflects whats in the 4D. the 4D refers to ur mental. ur beliefs, thoughts and assumptions that u continuously think. whats in ur 4D will reflect in ur 3D. not the other way around. this is important to remember when manifesting. if u want a change in the physical, a change must first be made in ur mind.

an analogy to help understand it is, if ur looking in the mirror, and u see that u have lipstick in ur teeth. if u wiped the mirror in hopes that the lipstick stain would disappear, would it disappear. no ofc not. u would have to wipe the lipstick off of your own teeth first, then when u looked into the mirror, you wouldn't see the stain. its the same way with the 4D and 3D. u can't expect to see change if u dont wipe the lipstick off of ur teeth. trying to change the 3D/wipe the mirror won't do anything for you.

WAVERING - wavering is flip flopping between two different stories that u tell urself. it's important to persist in one story and not flip flop between "i have it/no i dont". if u affirm that ur rich but ur continuously thinking thoughts like "ugh i'll never be rich" or "im so broke/i never have money" ur self sabotaging. stop that.

THE RULES OF MANIFESTING? - there is none. ur assumptions are true. therefore ur the one who puts the limits on ur manifestations. do what u will with that information. but the rules and limitations are made BY you, FOR you, bcuz its ur reality.

LAW OF ASSUMPTION VS LAW OF ATTRACTION - these are two distinctly different things.

law of attraction if im not mistaken focuses more on things like ur vibrations, making ur vibrations match what ur trying to manifest. like its name suggests law of attraction focuses on ATTRACTING ur desires, the idea that ur constantly putting energy out into the universe, and negative thoughts and emotions -> will manifest negative outcomes. (pls correct me in the comments if this is false)

law of assumption is whatever u assume to be true is true. whether u prefer law of assumption/attraction, the law of assumption is still proven true regardless. thats because its literally science and how the universe works. it focuses on changing ur assumptions -> to therefore change ur experiences. there isnt any outside validation (the universe etc) everything that u need is within u already.

personally, i prefer the law of assumption bcuz it gives me control and it ALWAYS works.

AFFIRMATIONS - affirmations are thoughts that you'd think if u had ur desire. repeating ur affirmations familiarizes ur brain with having ur desire which makes it SUPER helpful when manifesting something consciously. the thoughts that u have every single day are ur affirmations and thats whats being proven true to u in ur everyday life. FOR EXAMPLE ; "the sky is blue" is an affirmation that is proven true everyday bcuz you manifested it (subconsciously not consciously). if u create a new assumption, then that'll be proven true too. ur thoughts today = what u experience tomorrow

IN A NUTSHELL - controlling ur thoughts and mind -> manifests whatever u want into ur life. there are no limits except for the ones that u put on urself. whatever u can conceptualize is possible (so dont go and ask ppl "can i manifest x,y, and z" bcuz YES U CAN) ur only task is to : affirm/saturate/visualize, whatever ur bag is -> use repetition when u have doubts/limiting beliefs -> persist regardless of what u see in the 3d and dont waver -> reap the fruit of ur manifestation.

go and manifest whatever u want, the world is your oyster

#law of assumption #advice #self concept #it girl #self love #that girl #becoming that girl #it girl energy #self care #honeytonedhottie #manifestation #dream girl tips #dream life #dream girl #self development #self improvement #self growth #neville goddard #affirm and persist #affirming #law of attraction #manifesting tips #manifesting #manifest

[calware]

I love your young!Rose design with the braids & hair beads, it reminds me of the Black girls i knew in elementary school (2005-2011), so its deffo “period accurate” and also a delightful choice. The way you draw the human kids in general is really nice, youre really good at conveying specific features with minimal lines (like her & Mom’s nose shape). Do you have any tips for how you draw faces to make them not same-face or repetitively “white” features, especially when drawing in a less “realistic” style (i dont wanna say your style is cartoony but idk what i would call it tbh)? I took a life drawing class back in 2019 but we mostly drew the same two models or our classmates, and it was both a limited pool of features plus feels hard to translate into art that isnt attempting to be 100% realistic.

Sorry if this is rambly. Congrats on 10k. Love ur new icon, tho i miss the Horb. Do you take commissions? I think i asked this before but i forgetful af.

thank you for the ask :)!! i'm really flattered that you think i'm good at avoiding same-face syndrome because i am VERY LAZY when it comes to drawing and i could definitely be doing a better job ;^^ i'm also not the best at drawing people diversely(?), it's just something i have to get better at. there are people way more qualified than me to give advice about this... but i can try giving some tips

the first is that, like with anything, if i'm not confident that i can accurately portray something or a specific feature i will usually look up a reference. i like paying attention to things like the position of the browbone, height of the cheekbones, shape of the chin, shape of the eyes, length/width of the face, width of the nostrils, shape/position of the bridge of the nose, roundness of the cheeks, etc. when i draw characters (specifically the homestuck characters i like, because i think about them a lot) i have an idea in my head of how they look and how they differ from one another. for example i see jade with a longer diamond-shaped face while rose has a shorter heart-shaped face, so i do my best to depict that in my drawings

(idk if this illustration makes ANY SENSE bc like i said i think that i also struggle with pushing myself in regards to this and i think i still have more to learn/practice)

i think it comes down to paying attention to the proportions/types of specific facial features and adjusting them each to create a unique face

that said when it comes to stylizing what you see from photographic references, i understand that it can be tricky to simplify it. i really don't have any advice for this.... i just play around with it until it looks good while also being recognizable as the specific thing i'm trying to draw.......... so in that case i think it helps to use other people's art as a reference too! i don't really care about sticking to one "style" so i don't mind drawing in a slightly different way if i want to do something another artist is also doing. so for example if you're struggling with drawing 4c hair i recommend looking at other people's drawings of characters with 4c hair that you like and playing around with if you can incorporate their techniques into your own art.

i hope this all made sense ;^^ there are definitely a lot of tutorials out there that are way more informative than this one

also, to answer your last question, i plan to open up a few commission slots next week! (as long as i have enough time to that is)

#ask #madam-melon-meow

[bewilderedbuck]

having devi vs. david thoughts about season 4; particularly which one we will hear first and why - this is just spec, ofc, but i can't stop thinking about it, so...

i think we're going to get a "devi" before we get a "david" this season, and i think it's going to be spoken directly to devi - as opposed to most times when ben refers to her as "devi" only when he's around other people. right now i'm just looking at 2 particular scenes in the trailer that i think the first "devi" could be from:

immediately post-boink. i don't have a screenshot for this one, bc they didn't give us ben's reaction to devi immediately bolting (which i'm thankful for, bc i really want to wait to see his reaction!) but i can see him saying "devi, wait" or something along those lines. i'm not totally sold on this one, honestly, but the thought's there.

the other scenario - and the most believable to me, from what we've seen so far - is immediately after devi sees margot kiss ben and confronts him. we can see they have a bit of a....i wouldn't call it a fight, but fight-adjacent, and from the looks of the trailer it doesn't seem like it gets too heated, but....

ben looks hurt and confused which - is so good (obv not for him but like - i live for the drama, whatever, it's just good entertainment). i don't know exactly how this would go, but i know how i want it to go: after ben tells her he thought it was a one time thing, devi tries defending herself, and he says "devi, you left," to parallel this fucking amazing scene from 2x04:

(cue everybody moved on i stayed there dust collected- yeah it's been almost 2 years and i still haven't gotten over this scene. jaren lewison the actor that you are.)

i could be completely off-base here. the first "devi" could be neither of those of course, and hell we might even get a "david" first instead. and while 3 seasons isnt enough to establish a pattern just yet, i'm hoping that after 4 seasons we can. see below:

season 1, we get a "david" first:

season 2, it's a "devi":

season 3, we're back to "david":

i'm hoping they continue the back-and-forth trend of this first devi vs david in the final season - idk! i like patterns! i like repetition! and like, his choice of which one to refer to her by first each season shows the status of their relationship:

season 1, "david," that playground nickname that's used to antagonize her (even if it doesn't work), showing their immature animosity for each other

season 2, "devi" to show her he's serious, he wants her to be his girlfriend, he doesn't want to hurt her, or annoy her, or make her feel less-than anymore - he's all in!!!!!!

season 3, "david," now evolved from an immature nickname almost into a term of endearment, a mark of friendship.

i just think a "devi" in the beginning of season 4 would be a great way to show the status of their relationship with each other; he can't use "david" because "david" has turned fond. so using "devi" would feel like - like a level of separation between them, if that makes sense? to make this whole interaction between them less...familiar. less safe, i guess. to show her he's hurt and confused, confused as to why she left and confused as to why she's the angry one when she made him feel like it was a one-time thing - using her name and his tone of voice to convey, "you walked out on me, you ghosted me, you made me feel like it wasn't special, like what we had wasn't special." i want devi to see the consequences of her leaving in his eyes and hear it in his voice - he's not angry like he was in season 2, hell, maybe he's not even totally heartbroken over this, but he's still hurt, you know?

(and again like i've said before - i'm not totally, solely blaming devi for what happened here - we still don't have enough facts, so as far as i'm concerned right now, the miscommunication [and like, total lack of] is both of their faults in my eyes, at least until s4 paints the whole story for us.)

#this feels like it makes no sense to me but i just cannot stop Thinking about that possible parallel ok it would just be. so fucking good #devi vs david #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #benvi #nhie #never have i ever #nhie s4 spec #s.txt

[stevie-petey]

SPEAKING OF SEASON FOUR

I'm so worried that the duffer brothers are gonna fuck up jancy. That flirting with Steve and Nancy in season four was not cute. Like jancy isn't my favorite ship in the series (because I'm in love with Jonathan but that's not the point) but we've established that Nancy DOESN'T love Steve. Did you see Jonathan's face when Nancy started talking about how Steve's grown up? You could tell it made him insecure, It's foreshadowing the love triangle all over again and there's no point in keeping it. It doesn't add to the story it's just another stupid plot for drama, which we don't really need!

It also takes away from Nancy's character!! She's not the kind of girl to just go from guy to guy. She's also not the kind of girl to flirt with her ex who's clearly still got feelings for her while she has a boyfriend!! Even if it was unintentional, like subconsciously, still she's smarter than that and she cares about Jonathan and Steve's feelings she wouldn't risk hurting the both of them at once.

I mean if we're talking about come home it could work as something for bug and Steve to work through I guess ( I don't wanna talk about it too much because it's so far away and there's a lot more we have to go through to get to that point) but it's so outside of Nancy's character. Maybe she's just confused cause she almost died and saw Steve get seriously hurt? But still Nancy isn't a homewrecker and she's not a super jealous or promiscuous person. Even if she didn't know about how close bug and Steve have grown she wouldn't go after him. But strictly speaking of stranger things now. She hardly interacted with Steve in season four, which is fair she's still in highschool and Steve has a job. They have their own shit going on. It's understandable. I feel like Nancy's character gets misconstrued a lot, partially because she keeps getting reduced to a love interest. I just hope Nancy and Jonathan don't fall apart because of how much they've changed during their time away. I love Steve but he's not right for Nancy and she's not right for Steve. I hope they Don't ruin such a great relationship with so much potential. Like I see the problems in jancy but I can see how well it could work if given the chance.

honestly it just feels like the writers dont KNOW what to do with nancy anymore or even jancy. i adore them and think theyre so sweet together but the writers are just ,,,, pissing me off. bringing back steves feelings for her and nancys weird feelings for him was just ??? unnecessary and NO ONE was asking for it

i will say however i do see the vision for stancy. i think they did have a good shot at being in love and happy, theyre right person wrong time, but if that was the plan since season 1 then ,,,, it shouldve been touched on earlier ?!?!!? we dont see nancys feelings for steve at ALL until season 4 like even WHILE THEY WERE DATING. its stupid. and like u said: nancy isnt like that !! she’d never directly hurt anyone :( shes so kind and loyal and the writers are mean

and jancy ,,, ugh they have sm potential if the writers would just figure them out. they keep having the same argument of jon wanting to care for his family and nancy wanting to uncover and explore shit its just. ugh.

for season 4 i will DEF be retconning some shit because yeah. im not dealing with a repeat love square that will be resolved literally THIS SEASON in season 2. feels so dumb to be so repetitive. i will however bring in some elements in that love triangle back in 4 but not in any definitive or dramatic way. smh

#ask #anon #m speaks #m rants technically #nancy wheeler i will defend u with my life

[lemonade-luvr]

I MEAN THATS AS FAR AS I KNOW. to be fair all i’ve heard abt it is You fucking hallucinate shit .thats literally it .

where the fuck did i get the idea you were having hallucinations then......... hmmm. however, i also dont get many hallucinations! at least not visual ones. im much more privy to tactile and auditory stuff!

im gonna infodump. autistic style. and if i accidentally desstroy your worldview, im so sorry. you have been warned.

IT GOT REALLY LONG SORRY FUCKKKKKKKK

schizophrenia is actually very similar to an autism diagnosis! at least from an outside perspective. it comes with flat tone and struggles with facial expressions and all that jazz! it can also make it really hard to think and leads to a very scattered mind??? idk how to describe it . because of the . well we call it brain scramble! i think its called something like word salad though.

the main defining thing about schizophrenia is the presence of psychosis, which is further defined by hallucinations, delusions and paranoia o^_^o

hallucinations CAN include seeing stuff that isnt there, though thats a really simple understanding of visual hallucinations. the visual hallucinations i tend to get are stuff in the corner of my eye and the walls kinda.. Shifting. nothing immediately distressing. but i know there are people with way more scarier things going on.

auditory hallucinations are something i experience a lot more, and theyre just.. hearin stuff that wasnt ever there. my brain loves the discord notification sound and like. splatoon sound effects. sometimes i hear someone yell the body's name!

there are also tactile hallucinations which is feeling a sensation that wasnt real. we get these ones the most. a good example isssss well rn im getting The Bugs. like buddy theres no bugs here you are feeling hair probably and yet even then i still feel it eugh eugh eugh. our headmates can make use of our tactile hallucinations to give me pats on the head though, which is nice o^_^o

delusions are simply believing something that isnt true wholeheartedly. i dont reallly like to share mine because im scared of people playing into them or thinking theyre cringe BUT i will share that we have fully believed ourselves to be in future london before. which is really fucking funny you are allowed to think this is funny. we are in the wrong country for that buddy. you can be fully aware that somethiing isnt true and still believe it! its fucked up! they should make that illegal. these are the mind killer i hate these little bastardsssssss... delusions are very versatile. its also like thinking mundane things are signs.... theres a lot to say on delusions.

paranoia is the one thats really easy to comprehend its just intense and unfounded anxiety. me when i overthink everything to death. me when everyone on the bus knows im gay.

also it makes it really hard to Word Shit. sometimes i cannot comprehend the english language despite it being the only one i fucking know. On that Topic. Sorry if this is Incomprehensible. i actually genuinely Cannot Tell. its usually fine but sometimes i just feel like i cant get ANYTHING across correctly.

impaired motor coordination is also a thing? which makes it hard for me to type sometimes and also do things like, idk, drink my monster energy without spilling it and pissing off charles. sorry charles. damn. UH theres also a lot of repetitive behaviours, and catatonia. it can come with memory issues and FATIGUE BIIIIITCH and BUDDY am i FEELING the fatigue today. AUGH AUGH AUGH.

oki think thats all i have to say on the matter unless u have questions

i feel so fucking nuts right now i dont know if its the rush of i just got to infodump or if im manic :sosonormal: <you are manic <thanks babygirl in my head. god i hope this is comprehensible

ONE TWENTY ONE GUNS 💥

#asks.txt

[ellaenchanting]

I think its quite irresponsible of you to not put a warning on your profile: DANGER! CORRUPTER OF THE YOUTS! DANGER!

I was somewhat causally interested in hypnokink and had never dropped before I discovered you and your work. Well, discovered isnt quite the right word. It was more like I went, "huh, I guess Ill try this one on a try... probably won't work..."

I owe a lot of my love for hypnokink to you. I am always excited when I see that you've posted something new. You're never dull or repetitive.

Also it could be your puritanical profile picture that really did me in. *fans self* "if only she showed some ankle"

Oooh! I have to say- I have a liiiiitle bit of a corruption kink (giving and receiving) so- mwahahaha!

I hope you're continuing to find fun and enjoyable and hot things in hypnokink. Thank you so much for this kind message. ♥️

[dappydaffer]

WW Normal Album Analysis (pt. 3) 💜

WHOOP-DEE-DOO! HERE WE GO AGAIN!

More Will Wood analysis, part whatever?!!! (cos I still cannot get over my WW/WWATTW hyperfixation)

If you saw my last couple of posts, you know the drill, you know what I'm babbling about.

For those of you who haven't seen my last posts or have no clue what Im talking about/getting into, for the sake of not sounding repetitive and/or annoying; Please just go check out my previous posts. I apologize, but I don't want these posts to become monotonous with the disclaimers, so I just gently encourage you to take a look at the first 2 parts of my WW analysis if you want full context. (This post isnt reallh connected to my previously stated theories to the album's message as a whole, but if you're curious enough, go look for yourself. Respectfully, I do not want to type more than I have to.)

(You can find the posts here): - Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/dappydaffer/733190401716027392/this-rant-im-about-to-go-on-will-probably-not?source=share - Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/dappydaffer/733737259322474496/ww-normal-album-analysis-pt-2?source=share

(And also, just a heads up: these are just MY opinions and MY personal takes/theories on WW's music. If you have anything different to say, please be respectful about it, yadda yadda, don't be a d*ck, you get the point, etc, etc.)

=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=

So with that out of the way, in this post, like my most previous one, I really wanna talk about one song specifically, what it means to me, and how the lyrics + choices of words make up the message, and that song is; I/Me/Myself

I'm sure like a lot of other people did, I initially thought the song was fully about being trans when I first listened. But after my first couple of listens and really looking into the lyrics, I figured that couldn't be right. So, I looked it up and surely enough, WW himself explained the broader scope of the song and what it really meant.

(Ik a lot of WW fans probably knew/know this already, but I'm still gonna bring it up anyway) Will said himself regarding the song;

"To boil it down, the song is about how I respond to my frustration with the limitations of the male gender role, the maladaptive ways I’ve coped with that frustration, and trying to figure out if this experience or any other regarding my gender can or should define me. It reaches the same conclusion that most of my work does – and that is that nothing is real and that if something is hurting us we have the power to cast it off." "This song is, as I’ve said, about my experiences with my gender identity. It’s none of your business, but I once identified as genderqueer, until I realized that my attraction to traditionally feminine things did not interfere with my identity as a man. I didn’t want to define non-binary with my good old-fashioned cross-dressing, because I don’t want to speak for anyone else. I came to realize that my refusal and/or failure to meet the behavioral standards of my gender role did not make me less of a man, and anyone (cis or trans) who tells me that wearing makeup now and again makes me less of a man can shove it. After struggling for some time, I realized that my genderqueer identity wasn’t necessary for me, that I was wearing it as a prop in order to serve a purpose. The song is about my experiences and any amount of satire or targeted poking fun it does is at people who are doing what I know I did at the time. Partially in the hopes of drawing people away from that toxicity like I wish something had for me at the time."

(WW's full breakdown here: https://genius.com/Will-wood-i-me-myself-lyrics)

The song is essentially a statement telling both cis and trans people that our actions and expressions dont define who we are and that you can act and do things a certain way without having to fit into a box or slap a label on yourself. You can still be one thing and do other things that dont align with it, and the song does a great job at expressing the frustrations of feeling like there's external pressure on both sides to behave in a specific way just because of how you define yourself (at least that's how I interpreted his explaination and I 100% agree with what he's saying.)

While the meaning might have been self-explainatory to most, I still wanna gush about the lyrics/choice of words that make up said meaning.

• "And now you've got me thinking, I wish I could be a girl, and that way - You'd wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend"

"You've got me thinking" "You".....the way he says, "you've got me thinking," and not, "I am thinking," only emphasizes that extremists or other people that overly care about their identity and/or label are pressuring him into feeling like he has to be x, y, z because of how he chooses to dress, behave, etc. as a cis man. The choice of language really astounds me and just goes to show that he really did wear his identity "as a prop" only to fulfill a purpose that focused more on other people's contentedness, rather than his own.

• "But if the shoe fits, then I won't try it on"

This lyric right possesses some of the best symbolism I have ever seen. This line from the song shows how he so quickly jumped to the conclusion that he must be genderqueer because of the pressure he might have felt seeing how other people's behavior fit that exact label. If other people have that label for themselves and behaved like me before coming out/realizing their identity, then surely I'm queer too? If the shoe fits everyone else with similar foot dimensions as me, why should I try it on? If it fits for other people, surely it must fit me. It says its my size on the box, so surely that means it will fit comfortably?

(I'm gonna rope in a lyric from the demo version of I/Me/Myself cos I think this part from this version of the song also plays into the message.)

• "I'll be your prosthetic meat/meet your anesthetic criteria"

Again (this may sound repetitive) like the aforementioned lyrics, WW stating he'll be (assuming this is what the "your" in this lyric is relating to) anyone's piece of "prosthetic meat" and (presumably) willing to do anything in order to "meet criteria," just further emphasizes that he cared far too much what people wanted for him, rather than what he actually wanted for himself, and also highlights the sheer desperation someone with this sort of mindset possesses. It doesn't matter how you get it or what lengths you go to, just as long as you recieve outside approval and have managed to people please.

• "No, I know that I'm wrong - But I love how you're on my side when I cross that line"

This lyric here showcases his knowledge that he knows this label or identity may not be right for him, but people are on his side anyway, no matter what, and in the perspective of somebody who thinks like this, that is more important than being happy with yourself and finding your own identity. Instead of trying to steer him in a healthy direction, these supposed "people" are just trying to push their beliefs or continue to force him to be something he isn't sure he's happy with, because they believe its right (which sadly happens more in the LGBTQ+ community than you'd expect.) Also, the crossing of the line mentioned can also be alluding to folks who transition because of community pressure, misguidance, or subconscious uncertainty clouded by agenda pushing, end up regretting it later. They cross that extreme line, and yet those same people still push their beliefs and ideas on the person, hence; "being on his side".

=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=

There's so much more I want to talk about here and tie into the post, but I think my point stands. That's mostly what I feel like typing at the moment, and I am now very tired lol.

And please, do not attack or harrass me for being "transphobic". There are toxic people in every community and my intention in this post was to point out genuinely toxic people in the queer community and how it ties into the song's message. As someone who used to identify as FTM trans and got mixed in with the wrong groups myself, this song speaks deeply to my own experiences, and never would I ever encourage or preach hate towards certain kinds of queer people and contradict my whole point here; let people be themselves and don't ever force someone to be somebody they are not. Love and accept and stop fighting fire with fire.

Once again, I still think WW is a lyrical genius and his portrayal of messages is extremely well executed. I hope you all enjoyed more brainrot fueled ranting, haha! ❤️ This was very fun to type and talk about. Have a merry turkey day, y'all, and I'll try to keep posting more WW analysis. I love doing this and I hope you all do as well!

#will wood #will wood and the tapeworms #the brainrot is real #autistic rant #rant post #my hands are in agony once again 💀😭 #just a thought i had #just rambling #just my thoughts #just a theory #i/me/myself #the normal album

[cowederevived]

Hi Kaede! I just wanted to say that I really love your gens, and I’m sorry if you haven’t felt appreciated enough by the community. Your gens are fantastic and I love them!

Would it be okay to get some mikan giving a “check-up?” if not, perfectly fine too. I just hope you realise there’s a whole group of people that adore you even if we don’t say it out loud!

thank you for the message, you do not realize how releaving those are. So trully thank you. the main issue this blog always had is that the whole concept kinda fumbles because I need the comunity to actually send me stuff, and most of the mindsets are way too... lets just say uncarring. another issue that will always be one is the fact that since you guys dont gen (except like @makoto-naegi-stud-and-friends also known as best boi who do have a bit of experience and @toofasttoocool albeit he prefer to use lora heavy free methods so different systems) meaning that when I get a breakdown or find a new system, or even sometime master it I'm met with no reaction, because for people that only get results it changes nothing. Basically My possibilities always increase, and I always love to generate more creative stuff because thats like the major positive point of ai gen in my opinion, way more than just "ehehe porn" (even if I do love myself mega booba) is to allow people with no drawing skill / time, or that just dont have the body / brain too access to ways to use their creativity to create, instead of just having ideas stuck in their head unable to take form. HOWEVER people kinda ... dont really care about possibilities, I love to do simple stuff #KnightGirlsMyBeloved but If someone wants like, asuna from sao with big boobs, they dont really care about the creativity or possibilities, hence why 95% of ai porn on r34 or Pixiv is super repetitive and boring, and use the same performant models and just have lora changes. 2) I insist, thank you however "mikan giving a “check-up?”" isnt an ask. its a sentence. read my pinned post, Give me minimum detail, something like an expression, a context, a body type, a pose, a background. because otherwise I'll just send u a link toward a cute existing mikan fanart. it can be very basic and normal, but details make the asks and fun. As a reminder, while its 100% my decision (and I think @makoto-naegi-stud-and-friends will understand what I mean) I'm paying for this shit, so yeah wasting it on asks that are 5 words long ? not really an enjoyable experience.

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

Sakurai's writing oftentimes feels like I'm reading a fanfic. That isn't always a bad thing, because Shimousa was alright (save for getting wordy in places), there were things I liked about Lostbelt 2 I liked (Napoleon was a major focus but at least he was a lot of fun!), and so far Heian-kyo is reading like *good* fanfic. I actually like how it touches on things like Nursery Rhyme's shapeshifting and having a specific form for this chapter, for example. The repetitive-ness and over-explaining is still her biggest problem in my book, and I feel if someone could critique/edit her scripts she could revise them to be less so.

On the other hand, everyone complains about the Edmond Dantes cameos but as for me, I don't care. Heck, I kind of enjoy them. Sincerely I want Edmond Dantes to appear randomly in everything Sakurai writes from now on. I'm hoping he just randomly shows up in Heian-kyo for no reason at all. He just walks on set and calls Limbo a little bitch and then leaves.

gonna be 100% honest i dont even clock her as being more wordy than other fate writers like why would we play the fate game if words werent something we could handle. i agree editing would help but it really isnt just for her. like has anyone who thinks she 'goes on and on' or whatever read any other chapter when the writer gets really into a bit they have An Opinion on. or are being dramatic. or chuuni. or horny. like ??????????

and honestly if shes the only one whos gonna use dantes then fucking let her. it harms no one and i like seeing him show up for 30 seconds to give us a thumbs up its not like it messes up immersion to say 'the guy that lives in your head sometimes....shows up in your head' especially when its like a dream sequence like why are we mad at that. does that not make sense. i thought people got mad when stuff happens to the mc mentally and none of the servants who are allegedly watching out for that sort of thing do anything if anything we should be asking why tf beni enma and merlin and any of the other servants who can dreamwalk arent also there helping out.

#my asks #sorry im going insane guys <3 i have all this art i didnt finish and i keep getting stressed out like an animal that gets stressed

[kbirby]

People dislike the 2001 FB because it’s unfaithful to the original story.

I'm aware! But I think its an unjust reason.

I think that what makes a good adaptation or even a good story based on something is not directly tied to how faithful it is to the original.

It is about what that story does with its premise, how does it transform it?

Making something completely like the original does not make it immediately the best thing ever, and I would argue that Fruits Basket 2001 actually does a better job of conveying the original FEELING of Fruits Basket, even if it lacks in the story.

Fruits Basket 2001 was running when the manga wasn't finished which doomed it to split into a different narrative path, missing many things people loved about the manga's story and we never got a second season, missing out on the intricacies of the story of FB.

HOWEVER, what 2019 does horribly in comparison to 2001, that for me personally ruined my entire watching experience, was the atmosphere and feeling of the story. Specifically in the music.

While FB 2001 fails to ever tell the full story of FB, the story it does tell hits harder emotionally and the experience is more shocking than when I watched 2019. And I realized this was because of the music, 2019's music failed to stick with me in any positive way. It is so boring that I cannot remember a SINGLE tune of it, except for the one I hate the most that plays during ever serious or sad moment. The atmosphere for 2019 ends up being strangely, non comedic during many times there should be comedy. Mostly again due to the music, the atmosphere is starkingly dark and dramatic and I know that a lot of people most likely prefer this.

A lot of critique 2001 gets is that it is "too comedic", as if fruits basket isnt a ROMANTIC COMEDY SLICE OF LIFE. In fact the comedy INCREDIBLY aided in the serious moments of 2001; The music of 2001 gives us such beautiful melodies and themes, motifs of different characters and different feelings, sometimes even reoccurring in different instruments to have us feel a different way. Hiro's theme going from slightly slower to a faster paced when he starts hustling and fast talking people, flustering them. The main theme "Memory" being played in its full form or being played in lighter instruments giving us a feeling of nostalgia tinged with sadness. There is life and character in this OST, it is beautiful and largely carries 2001.

Now I understand why 2019 couldn't use the OG soundtrack, whether for copyright reasons or maybe they just wanted to go a different direction, but the new OST is boring. It is lifeless. It is REPETITIVE. The SAME exact track is played for almost ever serious moment, and in general fails to make me feel ANYTHING for the characters of 2019, so much so that it completely ruins the atmosphere of the show.

It helps aid in Fruits Basket feeling overtly serious, that and line delivery and general direction of the show. And the main reason this is an issue is that extremely serious moments of trauma we are shown, moments that we should be feeling bad for characters, have left me holding back LAUGHTER from how ridiculous it feels. There is not "Oh fuck this is super serious" moment in 2019 because EVERYTHING feels so serious.

2001 Does an amazing job of subtly drifting from the comedic slife of life energy, to more serious topics like Hatori's trauma, Momiji's family relationship, Kisa being bullied, and the AMAZING finale that I wont even spoil. The end of Fruits Basket 2001 left me aching for more and stunned at how I had ended up there, yet does it so seemlessly. Tohru is the light that carries the show, that carries the characters through their deep trauma, staying positive despite her situation no matter how incredibly depressing. And 2001 does this through its music.

If you like 2019, by god I hope you do. I really do. I wish I liked 2019 I wanted to SO BAD. I waited YEAAAAARRSS for a season 2 or revival, and when it came I was so excited!! But as I watched, I could not get over how much the general vibe and ambience bothered me, it hindered my watching experience and I actually DROPPED IT when it first came out, only picking it back up when the show FINISHED. I hope despite all this, despite all my grievances people that love 2019 love it for their reasons and dont care what I say.

But by god, something being more accurate to the original does not automatically make it better, or the first rendition that was not completely true to the original bad. And I will never get over how people can actually think that.

#kbirby.txt. #kbirby.rant #rant #fruits basket 2001 #fruits basket 2019

[en-logs]

Can you elaborate each of the hyung's dynamic with y/n again 😩😩😩😩 I need to be fed

heeseung -> bestfriends for years, likes each other but too afraid of committing + confessing to one another, both pretend they're fine on the outside but extremely heartbroken whenever they see the other with another person (i.e heeseung w a girl, y/n with another guy).. has 0 progression in their relationship because of how neither of them are willing to open up truthfully to their feelings so it's like they have nothing to talk about as the doubts + emotions bottle up.

jay -> a fresh and simple crush, nothing feels toxic with him and it just makes y/n feel like shes a teen in high school w her first love even if its just simple conversations or light flirting, nothing to doubt or be afraid about, since jay is a quiet and kind man unlike heeseung who is an f!boy, which makes her feel safe.

sunghoon -> a hookup that turned into a secret fwb thing after something that had happened to the both of them (one which was heeseungs fault) but at the same time theres nothing romantic about their relationship either as sunghoon knows y/n is messy when it comes to liking someone (aka fucking her crush's bestfriend just to pretend the feeling isnt there), we'll get to it more in a later bit.

jake -> a close friend for over a year now, met on a dating app and tried to have a relationship but they simply ended up as bestfriends and might be even closer than heeyn as he knows how much yn likes heeseung (but is afraid to like him ygwim), might have a little fun with each other sometimes but nothing too serious or repetitive like ynhoon.

heh. i hope ure more familiar w their relationships w one another now !!

#don't stereotype me! #fic asks <3 #anon <3

[lokisprettygirl]

Oooooohhhhh sweetie, ive missed you!

The latest chapter was heartbreaking. After all these years, she suffered while her "parents" are out there in the world enjoying there lives.

Frankly i dont really give a damn if her mother and bruce is hurt because i choose to believe her pains in last few years are incomparable to whatever rocky and his lassies done to the mother. what ever excuse they give will be nothing but rubbish to me. it just wont be enought

and with loki, her not pushing him away and keeping her promise is heart warming and her last statement is true. Im sorry about everything she's been through but if it had not happened, they would have never found each other.

though i do worry that her trust in him falters just a bit, maybe not at all but the gravity of all thats happened would be a heavy burden.

i love him for just being there but theres just something in me that makes (if this were me) me worry about something i just cant explain.

I love you darling, i really do. and i thank you for being there for her after everything.

in another note, the whole steve and rocky lot problem is still... a problem and im nearly certain we havent seen the last of them

God, I really have missed you sweetie. Ive seen that this place hasnt been the kindest but know there will always be those who will cheer you on. may it be few or one, i will be in either or the last. may there be none, i will be gone but i will keep cheering you on from the beyond.

I know i havent been the most active besides the likes and i do apologize for that.

words havent been a friend of mine and i dont trust myself to not to be repetitive and i give the best feedback with my truest feeling of the piece, so again i apologize for the lack of notes

this isnt much and sorry for that. i really just missed you dear. like an old friend reunited after long apart (dramatic, im aware)

this chapter is brilliant. may your doubts vanish and and i hope you have a wonderful day ahead

from your lovely 😊❤️💜💙💚💛🖤😊

Hmmm I think her mother needed to run away too so I can't take that away from her but she needed to have a conversation with her own daughter. She was an adult at the time, not a kid anymore and she would have understood her mother's situation, but her mother failed there, maybe they feared that their plan would fail or get exposed but there's no denying that their decision has made her life turn for worse.

Her trust is intact in him, she will be upset a little because he didn't tell her for so long but she understands why he chose to do that especially during the time when they were in the middle of such a complicated situation. There would be conflicting feelings regarding it though as she would fear about her loved ones keeping her in dark or hiding things from her.

We have definitely not seen the last of Rocky palooza ;)

Thank you my dear, that means the world to me and I have missed hearing from you too but I consider you one of my most favorites here and I'm always eager to hear from you, repetitive or not. I wish the same for you and I' hope everything is well in your life .. sending only love and hugs and so much of good vibes your way my lovely 😍💚

#asks #stupidthoughtsinwrting #the bodyguard

[all-the-heart-you-cannot-see]

Just me, reviewing yet another teen drama, Fate: the winx saga edition.

The highlights of the season for me were Musa and Riven, Flora finally making an appearence and the friendship between Stella a Beatrix.

Now onto the plot, i think it was a solid idea, it carried on from season one with the Aster Dell thing and i can kinda see the point of Sebastian, he's just too much of a caricature evil to inspire anything else. I did thought it was weird at the end the rest of the blood witches just....left, like, what the fuck lol, felt like a lazy way to tie up loose ends, like yeah their leader is gone but surely those people still want their loved oned back. Also i have beef with however is tasked with designing their transformations, theres no outfit change, the wings look werid once the montage is over and i hate that its probably because they want to give it "realism" ITS A SHOW ABOUT MAGICAL FARIES RICHARD, GIVE THEM SPARKLY OUTFITS.

Into the characters!

Bloom is not my favorite, she's okay, not bad for a main character, just a bit repetitive. It did bother me at the end when she told sky he was the most important person in her life when i think through out the season she had more meaningul scenes with her friends than with him. And their relationship is kind of not it, they have awful comunkcation and when she confromts him about it he says he doesnt tell her about his problems because she is the answer which, ok cute honey but you need comunication for a relationship to work. Idk, they are very vanilla but, they could be written better.

Sky's struggles made for an interesting arc this season, he went through some pretty fucked up shit and it sucks that the season ended for him with his girlfriend basically unaliving herself as far as he is concerned. One thing i like about this show is that no character has as a motivation only his love interest which is why i appreciate they gave Sky something to do this season besides Bloom. Im interested to see how he handles his loss next season.

I cannot stress enough how much i liked Musa this season, i love how they handle her relationship with her powers and she and Riven finally interacting made my freaking week. I hope they let her keep training to be an Specialist next season and i hope somebody gets the idea of giving a combat magic class, its kind of ridiculous a room full of fairies with different types of magic couldnt come up with a plan to try an scape and instead waited patiently to be rescued while being drained one by one.

Riven, Riven, Riven. His fallout with Beatrix and Dane was kind of inevitable, i do love myself some badass female grey character but relationships without affective responsability are doomed from the begining, it was definitely something while it lasted. I like the little moments when you realize he isnt a complete asshole, like when he brought each girl a drink that suited their taste or when he explained to Musa that it wasnt that he didnt want to train her because she was a woman, but because they were on the brink of war and it was dangerous for her. He cares, and i care about him, i just want him a Musa to be a happy couple.

Terra's personality annoys me so much lol, i know a girl just like her in really life and it annoys the shit out of me when i know something is right and she comes acting like she knows best and everybody elses work is mediocre, this is unrelated to the writing of her character really, is just an unfortunate coincidence. Her coming out arc was nice and her scenes with the specialist were kind of sweet but i dont think they have chemestry with each other. There's not much more to say about her, she isnt my favorite character and i doubt she'll grow on me but thats nobody's fault.

AISHAAAAAA, i like her a lot, i think they could've given her more scenes with Grey. Like at the end she tells him he lied to her for months and....i dont think we even got a scene of them just...hanging out besides the one where they kissed, i would've loved to see more of their relationship on screen and i would like for them to explore what he told her the day they left the pub about her not having to carry the weight of her friends, she is the smartest but she should allow herself to be a teen (this goes for every one of those poor girls, if Sebastian had any good point, it was the fact that they should be enjoying their lives as teenagers).

Stella, i know we all miss the og cartoon Stella, but if they were going to change her character i dont think this is that bad of a change. I mean the image of her back covered in blood because she was trying to get rid of the gem was heartbreaking and she has had good progress with letting people in and forming genuine bonds with the girls, i enjoyed her friendship with Beatrix, hope they bring her back.

Flora is a 10/10 would recomend, badass bitch all the way, i dont think the show gave her all the praise that she needed, she literally took on dozens of magic sucking thingies to save everybody without a second thought, Bloom was ready to risk it all for 17 y/o boy next door but Flora was out here bringing the brains AND the muscle, they need to thank her appropietly. I also like that she is between nerdy and an extrovert, i feel like we only get those types of characters as a popular girl is secretly smart, Flora is just smart and outgoing and confident and its refreshing.

I support womens rights, but most importantly, i support Beatrix's wrongs. She was raised by Rosalind and Andreas and their dubious morals, she lost her father, her emotional suport boytoys and got pushed aside by the woman she thought would helo her discover more things about herself, i cant imagine feeling that alone and i 100% understand her actions. Hope they bring her back next season.

Thats all, ill watch next season, its a shame we were depruved of sparkly fairy outfits, but i doubt that'll change.

#fate: the winx saga #winx flora #winx musa #winx stella #winx bloom #winx aisha #winx terra

[fictionfixations]

Practically Perfect / TWST x Mary Poppins Fic (Fic Rec)

Albert Eastwind, a descendent of One Magical Nanny, has transferred to Night Raven College for his second year. When a stranger from another world enters the picture, can he hope to maintain his aspirations of being Practically Perfect, or will it twist to become one Hell of a personal assistant?

its very enjoyable. a very refreshing take imo. You know how when you read so many stories that follow the same plotline (as in following canon. there's nothing wrong with it itself but) sometimes you just get really tired of it?

well this shows a different enough take that i can really enjoy it, with bits of canon in between, without getting bored of repetition n stuff, y'know?

(also there's something weirdly nice about yuu existing while the protag's someone else. and sometimes being the common sense lmfao)

anyway. favorite line. kind of spoilers.-ish.

(this is octavinelle's)

“If he dies ‘cause of this, I’LL SERVE YOU ON A BED OF RICE, ‘Kabayaki’!” He roared, derogation dripping from his words.

LMFAO. Also Kabayaki is, according to the wikipedia..

"a preparation of fish, especially unagi eel, where the fish is split down the back (or belly), gutted and boned, butterflied, cut into square fillets, skewered, and dipped in a sweet soy sauce-based marinade before being cooked on a grill or griddle."

how gory.

also just imagine

Kabayaki *Derogatory

maybe this isnt actually funny at all but the thought of it is funny to me so ye.

#thoughts #fic rec #fic recommendation #fanfic rec #fanfic recommendation #twst #twst fic #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #crossover fic

[sajaffery]

3...

i have to come up with a different proverb. maybe a new one. this is harder then i thought. but im really enjoying doing it. it feels like a wrting exercise. shit! it is a wrting exercise and i hate those. i absolutely hate them because they feel gimicky and unimaginative. but i came up with this on my own. so is it unimaginative? wait isnt there something called free association writing? is that what im doing right now? im not sure. i dont think youre allowed to think in that you’re just supposed to write and write and write and write. but how can you write without thinking? okay charger has been plugged back in and i can stop and think again. full disclosure by the way i am cheating to a certain extent because i keep editing every fifth mistake i make. im still leaving a lot in there to make this feel authentic. i felt like adding an emoticon there. cue self loathing. but no wait. old white men dont like emoticons do they? that good we like that. but young white girls do like emoticons. and justin bieber. dont know which way to turn now. lets move on. and i’m blank. i cant get justin bieber out of my head. good thing its not young white girls because that would be creepy. andd liable. is liable the right word. i want to google but i cant. new rule! no googling allowed. just train of…no no no. we cant use that either no trains allowed. old white men use trains. river of thoughts? cheesy. to similar to stream of consciousness, which isnt so bad because Virgina Woolf is a dead white woman. and i hate to love joyce. Love Dubliners. Love the idea of Ulysses, despite never getting past page 50 and not understanding what the hell happened in the forty or so pages i do read. except a young jesuit was or wasnt shaving. no word count either. new rule. im always checking word count to make myself feel good but we wont be doing that anymore. but i cant do this in the mornings anymore. not when i have to write. i mean seriously write because i would like to get published one day. read my name on the cover of a book. a hardback thak you very much because i do still love those (dead white men be damned) even if i dont particulalrly like paying for them. 15.99 for a book is ridiculous. especially when you can get it for 1p plus shipping costs in a few months time. i just cheated again. i deleted a whole paragraph i dint like anymore. its just felt repetitive like i was just telling you the same thing all over again in different word. filler. and we don’t like filler. its something EL James would use. i’m so glad EL James has become the by word for bad literature. she fully deserves it and im not just saying that because shes made a shit load of money. it does help though.it also helps that everyone seems to know who she is. James Patterson is equally shit, actually hes a different kind of shit. those alex cross books werent too bad to begin with. they certainly made good movies. anything with morgan freeman is a good movie. i hope if god does exist he does look like him. i wouldnt mind listening to him for all off eternity then. but then he started buying up unpublished manuscripts, polishing them up and printing them as his own with the real author getting a co-write. that fucking pisses me off. and he has the nerve to defend it by saying that he’s helping young unpublished authors. no you’re not asshole youre just printing money and using struggling authors just like every other arsehole looking to make a quick buck is. but you cant badmouth patterson because most nonreaders don’t know about him. but everybody knows EL James. god bless anal beads. okay im back. its the same day but i just posted this went downstairs to make some more green tea and came back up to add a little more to it. had two slices of chocolate cake too. i thought i was eating more because i was having a hard time writing but apparently i just like cake. and stuffing myself to point of explosion. edited slices and explpsion. there must be a way to switch off the squiggly lines that come up while im wrting this. typing. i’m only typing this.