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syddsatyrn · 3 months

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⛧Devotion is Love with Wings⛧ Chapter 1

(Click here for Chapter 2)

⛧Pairing: - Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

⛧Warnings: Alcohol, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, king x servant, panic attack, heartbreak, happy ending.

⛧Words: 3.3k

⛧Summary: As Lucifer's advisor you are required to assist him with a number of things. That includes his schedule, many chores, and the occasional middle of the night panic attack.

⛧Notes: This is my first Hazbin Hotel fic! I hope you all like it because Alastor is my next victim. I just want to give poor Luci some love, he is such a cutie and he's been through enough! My beta reader is @hellfiremunsonn and we love her for that.

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The sun rises and a soft glow illuminates the kitchen. Faint streaks of dawn get brighter as time goes by, the sky is painted with hues of pink and gold. Every day you wake before him and make his coffee. It was a morning ritual you’ve come to enjoy. The silence allowed you time to think and plan your day. As you fill a cup full of coffee, the smell permeates the air.

You carefully take the cup upstairs on a tray and down a long hallway. The air hummed with a faint scent of luxury. It's grandiose and extravagant manor, with gold trim in the hallway. Apples and angelic wings decorate the molding. Your footsteps echo against the marble floors until you stop at the large double doors. You open the right side of the door quietly. The room is dark, some light peeked through the window, but the long velvet curtains block out most of it.

He's so peaceful, lying there, the silk sheets covering his midsection leave little to the imagination. His messy blonde hair and soft face has always made your heart skip a beat. Soft snores escape his lips, you almost feel bad for waking him up while he’s in such a state.

“Your majesty?” You finally speak. The King stirs and covers his face with his hands. He lets out a small groan in response.

*It's time to get up, sir.” You say as Lucifer slowly and reluctantly sits up. You hand him his coffee with a smile, he looks up at you with drowsy eyes.

“Thank you, y/n.” He replied, taking a sip of the warm and bitter drink.

You start to stroll around his room, picking up clothes that have been tossed and putting them in the laundry basket. Lucifer watches as you pick up his messy room, sipping his coffee occasionally.

“You don't have to do all that y’know.” Lucifer says, feeling a little guilty about his disorganization.

“Oh but I do, sir.” You said with a straight face.

“Y/N, I don't know what I would do without you.” He admits with a soft chuckle.

You smile, your face turns a little pink but it's hard to tell with the lights off. You walk over to the curtains and draw them open. Lucifer doesn't look too pleased with how bright it is. You walk over to his wardrobe and shuffle through the many different articles of clothing until you find his white suit with red accents.

“Your daughter called, there are documents you need to look over and you have a meeting this afternoon.” You remind him as you place his clothes on the corner of his large bed.

“Can I just go back to sleep?” Lucifer pleads with you and you let out a small sigh.

“Every day you ask me the same question and every day I tell you the same answer…”

“So that's a no…?” He chuckles softly.

That is correct, your majesty.” You roll your eyes as you leave him to get dressed for the day.

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The relationship between you two has always been a little strange. You were hired many years ago as a maid for his estate. But after a small while grew to be his right hand, now you’re titled as his “advisor”. You take your job very seriously, everyday you make his coffee, bring him his meals, complete household chores, chauffeur him around, you even attend his meetings for him occasionally. Your entire life is devoted to your King, you felt it was a respectable title. You've worked hard to get to this point, and recognize the power that comes with that. After many years of proving yourself, Hell sees you as an extension of the royal family.

Lucifer had quite a soft spot for you, he offered you a room in his home so you can do your job without the bothersome commute. He pays you well and allows you access to many of his personal assets. The free room and board, along with never having to cook for yourself made it all worth it.

After some time you developed some feelings for him, but you would never admit that. You’re not up to that societal standard. You’ve always told yourself he could have anyone he wanted, which is true. The King of Hell was dashing and charming, but also extremely powerful. Despite all that he doesn't seem to fraternize with anyone, ever since Lilith left, it’s like he's lost that part of himself.

It was time for you to get yourself a cup of coffee and bring his breakfast to the dining hall. After finishing your task you sit down at the dining table and enjoy your coffee. Not long after, Lucifer emerges, dressed, but still looking rather fatigued.

“Did you not sleep well, sir?” You ask and bring your cup to your lips.

“No, I was tossing and turning all night.” He grumbles, the dark bags under his eyes are a dead giveaway.

“Hmm…you’ve been doing that quite a bit more often than usual.” You remark.

“I know! What is up with that? It's ridiculous.” The king says with a huff.

“Ridiculous indeed, sir.”

Lucifer called Charlie on his cellphone, and talked about the Hotel she was running. Charlie says he is due for a visit so you make a mental note to schedule that later. Your mind wanders as he talks on the phone while eating various fruits. The last time Lucifer wasn’t sleeping well he was having nightmares. You remember one awful night in particular, you were up late finishing some paperwork for him when suddenly you hear a scream coming from his room. You rush in and he's curled up in a ball, sobbing. You immediately crawl into his bed to comfort him, he laid his head in your lap and you played with his blonde hair until he fell back to sleep.

“Y/N…?” Lucifer says and tilts his head slightly. Looks like he finished his phone call while you were lost in thought. You shake yourself from your memories, a pink tint spreads across your face.

“Yes?”

“Something on your mind, my dear?” He asks with a look of concern on his face.

“No sir, it's nothing.” You assure him. Neither of you have spoken of that night since.

You continue to drink your coffee, Lucifer gives you a skeptical look and continues his breakfast. The day was a very average day. After breakfast Lucifer went to his study to read over some documents and sign a few things. You took his almost empty plate and cup to the kitchen and placed it in the sink for the staff to deal with. You text Charlie with a list of dates to choose from to schedule a visit, reassuring her that you’ll make it happen.

Next is time to clean Lucifer’s room. It's not disgusting by any means, more like cluttered. He tosses stuff on the floor absentmindedly and you always end up tidying the place at some point. Besides, you are the only one allowed in his room, who else is going to do it?

You collect all the empty liquor glasses and place them on a silver tray along with the empty decanter. Making his bed was rather difficult due to it being so large, but you manage like you always do. You tidy up his bathroom, finding more clothes tossed on the floor, you put them in the laundry hamper as well. You leave his room with the silver tray and take it to the kitchen. The staff fill the decanter and give you clean crystal glasses. You return to his room and set the tray on his desk. After that, you take the basket of clothes to the laundry room.

Before you know it, the clock strikes one and you make your way to Lucifer's study. You open the door softly and enter, you set down a small tray with a cup of tea and a plate of cookies on his desk. He picks up the cup and takes a sip, the tea is exactly how he likes it.

“Are you here to tell me I have to attend another one of those annoying meetings?” Lucifer asks in a slightly irritable tone. He spins the chair around to face you, his yellow eyes fixate on yours.

“I’m afraid so, your majesty.” You reply. Lucifer groans and slumps back in his chair. Sometimes he can be a little childish, you cover your mouth to stifle a giggle.

“Y/N, I can’t sit through another one of those meetings. I will literally wilt away into nothing.” Lucifer says, he turns to face you and takes your hand in his. He softly squeezes it, your face turns a little pink as you look down and meet his begging eyes with yours.

“Can you go instead? Pretty please?” You can never resist those eyes and he knows it. Your face softens and you squeeze his hand back.

“Okay, but don't make this a habit.” You say you let go of his hand. Still trying to retain some sort of professionalism.

“Thanks doll, I owe you one.” He says with a warm smile, the same smile that makes your heart skip a beat every single time. You bow and leave him to his work, once you get behind closed doors you let out a long sigh, you truly don't want to attend this meeting either. But it can’t be helped, the show must go on.

You grab your overcoat, cellphone, keys, and meet the driver out front. It didn't take long to arrive at Carmilla’s manor. You have been asked to attend a meeting with the overlords and report back to Lucifer. The guards led you through the manor to a large meeting room, you open the door and it seems everyone is in attendance.

The V’s, Zestial, Alastor, Rosie, Zeezi and Ms Carmilla Carmine herself. You take the empty seat next to Zestial.

“My my, I didn't think Lucifer would send his pet, but Miss Carmine, I thought there was a No Dogs Allowed sign out front?” Alastor immediately starts with the catty behavior. You don't have time for any of this, you need to be home soon to serve supper.

"Your words are like a bad song on repeat. Spare us." You retort with your arms folded. The Radio Demon gives you a sinister stare and you roll your eyes at his half baked attempt at scaring you.

“Please, can we start this stupid meeting? I have somewhere to be.” Velvet says looking at her phone, not paying much attention to anything else. Vox agrees with her and Carmilla begins to speak on various topics.

The meeting felt like it ran longer than expected, it was concerning how we move forward now that exterminations are no longer an issue. They spoke of which towns were hit the hardest by the attack, what kind of ongoing plans they have and how to proceed with caution, for we do not trust the Angels and their hidden intentions. After a while, the conversations started to devolve into personal ones.

“Lucifer will be assisting the Pride Ring as best he can, any requests for aid on his part can go through me for approval. Trust that they will be hand delivered to him in person. The King wants nothing more to provide relief for his people.” Was the last thing you said before getting up and excusing yourself from the meeting, politely.

When you make it back to the car, you let out a sigh of relief. It's finally over, time to head back to the manor. When you returned it was already late into the afternoon. You hang up your coat and head to the kitchen, you pour Lucifer a small glass full of whiskey and ice. Before you put the bottle back in its place you take a quick swig, that meeting was just agonizing. You needed something to take the edge off.

You walk to the study with the glass on a silver tray, as you open the door, she sees Lucifer in his chair, reading.

“Good afternoon, your majesty.” You greet him with a smile and a short bow.

“Ah good, you’re back. How was the meeting?” He asks, genuinely curious.

“It was…interesting, to say the least.” You reply while handing him the glass. “I can see why you did not want to attend.”

“They are so insufferable, right?” He says and takes a sip.

“Indeed, sir.” You don't wish to mention Alastor’s comment from earlier, the last thing you need to do is give him something to be cross about.

“Dinner will be ready soon. Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?” You ask politely.

“Oh no, you always do so much. Thank you Y/N.” Lucifer takes another sip of his whiskey.

You dismiss yourself and head down to the kitchen to help prepare dinner for yourself and Lucifer.

Lucifer spins around in his chair and takes a sip of the drink you left him with. He’s trying to hide it but he’s absolutely exhausted. Lately when he’s tried to sleep, memories flood his mind like ghosts of the past. The absence of warmth beside him was a void he could not fill. When he will be free from the torment, he is unsure. But every day he wakes up and there you are, right beside him as always. He knows you try to put off a cold exterior, you’re the king's guard dog after all. You were always one to never indulge your secrets but he knew a few things about you that no one else did.

The night you held him in your lap it looked as though he had fallen asleep. While you carded your fingers through his hair you whispered “I wish you knew how remarkable I think you are.” He heard you loud and clear. The King always had a space in his heart dedicated to you, but you’re his advisor, consultant, and au pair. How would the world see you both as a couple? It was certainly something that would be looked down upon by most. A bell rings and pulls him from his thoughts, dinner is ready.

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He sits in his usual spot and you always sit on his right side. Dinner was a mix of high grade meats and vegetables. You cut into your food and display proper table manners, Lucifer sneaks glances at you when he thinks you’re not looking.

“I scheduled a time for you to visit your daughter's hotel this Thursday.” You remark and Lucifer nods with food in his mouth.

“Good, I’ve been meaning to visit, I’ve just been so tired lately, and If I’m not tired I’m busy.”

“You need some proper rest, sir.” You state the obvious. You wish there was something else you could do to assist him with this.

“Trust me, if I had the choice I’d be asleep right now, my dear.” He takes another bite, his face looks a little forlorn. Usually you would keep to yourself unless Lucifer would outright say something is wrong, but this is different.

“Is there something wrong, sir?”

“No, it's nothing, Y/N. I’m just tired, I swear.” He says, trying to brush off any depressive feelings. You give him a bit of side eye but decide to let it go. But deep down you knew something was troubling him. It was just a matter of if and when he will tell you. You both continue eating, he tells you about the book he's reading in hopes to clear the melancholy vibe in the room. You sit and listen to him ramble on like any other normal day.

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It was getting late, Lucifer was in his room, drink in hand. Outside, the world slumbered beneath a blanket of stars, oblivious to his pain. With the window open he seeks solace in the cold night air. But the chill only served to remind him of the emptiness inside. He downs the rest of his drinks and sets it on the nightstand. He crawls under the covers and closes his eyes and wraps his arms around himself as he tries to get some rest.

But all he could see is her, walking away, leaving him heartbroken and devastated. A single tear falls down his cheek. He buries his face in the pillow and tries to forget these memories, good and bad. The minutes pass like fleeting shadows, and Lucifer finally starts to fall asleep. But not long after he wakes up in a cold sweat with a scream. His chest heaves and he feels like he can’t breathe, he looks down at his shaking hands.

You were doing your rounds in your silk pajamas, locking doors and shutting windows. You said goodnight to the kitchen staff and headed upstairs. Then suddenly you hear a loud scream come from Lucifer's bedroom, you immediately rush up the stairs to the door and open it.

He’s sitting upright in his bed, knees against his chest, holding his face in his hands. Tears streaming down his cheeks as he recalls the haunting memories. You don't say anything, you quickly sit beside him and place your hand on his back. He immediately pulls you in for a hug, you’re surprised at first but you hug him back. He buries his face in your shoulder, letting out soft muffled sobs.

“Shhhh…it's going to be okay…I’m here…I’ve got you.” You whisper soft words of reassurance in his ear, he just hugs you tighter.

“I’m so sorry…” He says between sniffles and you start to gently rub his back. You wished there was a way to stop him from feeling so miserable, but all you can do is sit and comfort him for as long as he needs. In the safety of your arms, the remnants of the dream began to dissipate. Your familiar voice and smell provided a soothing counterpoint to the chaos of his mind.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, my dear.” You say as you pet the back of his head, his face finally emerges from your shoulder and meets your gaze. You gently wipe away any stray tears with your thumb and give him a soft smile. “Tough times don’t last, tough people do, and you’re one of the strongest people I know.” You say just barely above a whisper.

A small smile appears on his face and you brush away a few stray hairs, glad that your king is feeling a little better. “Is there anything else I can do to make you feel more at ease?”

“I do have one request…But I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel about it.” He says, while looking away, he’s definitely embarrassed by his own question.

“Try me.” You reply, it can’t be that bad, he’s never asked you to do anything you’re not okay with.

“I would really appreciate it if I didn't have to sleep alone tonight…” He finally asks, he blushes a little, unsure if that's even okay to ask. You can't help but also turn a little red, this is absolutely not allowed, but maybe the rules have exceptions in times of crisis.

“Yeah…I can do that.” You agree.

Lucifer’s golden eyes widen and he perks up a bit. “R-Really?”

“Yes, really.” You chuckle softly.

Lucifer crawls back under the covers and opens his arms for you to join him. You crawl over to him and settle in, his arms wrap around you and you lace your fingers with his hand, allowing him to spoon you. His body heat and the chill night air was the perfect combination to lull you to sleep.

“Goodnight Luci~” You say before sleep starts to drag you away from this world. A nickname you lovingly use very rarely. He nuzzles your shoulder and drifts off rather quickly with nothing but a content smile on his face. When you two will admit your feelings for each other is a mystery, but for now, you’re happy just to be his biggest support system. If there's one thing you’ve learned living with Lucifer, it's that devotion in any form, is love with wings.

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princetofbone · 9 months

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Studying when EXAUSTED

This is for those times when you really desperately want to be productive and get things done but you can't focus and you just want to sleep but you didn't do anything today so you feel shitty.

if you can, please just go to sleep (I do get that sometimes you feel so shitty about how little work you got done that you can't sleep, but if you can, please do it and approach tomorrow with a fresh start)

plan out what tomorrow is going to look like. I will break it down by task, for example: 6:00 wake up, 6:05 work out 6:15 shower, 6:30 make tea, 6:40 start work, 7:30 break etc. This will 1) help you feel better about not getting anything done 2) can help you be more productive tomorrow.

if you have things to do that are easy/low brain power, do them. These are things like printing out work, scanning stuff, tidying your kitchen. getting these little things out of the way can make a HUGE difference later

if you can, just read over your material. Don't even try to understand, just read it. Tomorrow when you come back to try and actually learn it, you will already be a little familiar and it can speed things up for you

eat something, drink something, and see if it makes you feel better- many times when i'm "unable" to go on, I eat a meal and drink a glass or two of water and magically I feel great again

try doing a workout- sometimes it just makes the exhaustion worse, but if you need to stay up later (shoutout to my fellow 6:30 pm bedtime pals) it can stretch time a little bit, and sometimes wakes up your brain. It's also good for you and can make your sleep go better

DONT DRINK COFFEE. or tea. no caffeine. you are already tired, it's not going to fix anything, its just going to make you jittery and sad. it's also going to upset your sleep schedule and make the tired worse for tomorrow.

lastly- just go to bed. pushing through true exhaustion is not going to help you or anyone else. anything you try and learn is going to float right out of your head, and it can lead to burnout which will make everything worse. Please just sleep

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yawnderu · 5 months

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K-9 — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader | Chapter III

Sick as a dog, and just as vicious.

1 2 3 4 5

You work magic with your hands

The human body is able to withstand extreme damage.

"Medic!" Price's voice boomed across base, heavy footsteps following right after. The door slammed open before you could even get up, Gaz and Simon carrying a bloodied Soap. They set him down on the medical bed and you got up, rushing to them and examining the damage.

It's incredible, really, how the human body can withstand extreme conditions and stay resilient, such as a gunshot that had blood leaking out of Johnny's head like a faucet.

"Out. With me, Simon." You bark out orders and the men obey, Price patting your shoulder twice, the look in his eyes saying much more than words. Fix him.

"Apply pressure on the wound." Simon nods his head, quickly discarding his skull gloves as his bare hands apply pressure on Johnny's chest to limit the blood loss. You felt a weak pulse earlier, yet the sound of the EKG machine as soon as you hook him up served as reassurance. You immediately put on your gloves, not bothering to hook him up to an IV to avoid wasting time. His heartbeat is weak, but he's still here.

Your hands get to work immediately as Simon begins to treat the wound on Johnny's chest, a much simpler injury than the bullet in his head. You bring the light closer to his head, able to make out the familiar glint of the bullet encrusted in his brain.

Twelve hours. That's how long it took to complete surgery on Johnny to remove the bullet in his head and stabilize him. He's a lucky motherfucker; the base of his brain and spinal cord being completely untouched, allowing him to be part of the 10% of people who have survived a headshot.

Your knees give out right after you make sure Johnny is all covered up, exhaustion and stress along with the disappearing adrenaline finally catching up to you. Strong arms wrap around your torso to prevent you from falling— Simon, who refused to leave your office, staying awake those twelve hours in case his help was needed.

"With you, lass." He reminds you, helping you stand up and guiding you to your chair, crouching down to get a better look at you.

"Need a cuppa?" He asked gently, the back of his hand making contact with your forehead to check for your temperature.

"Fucking brits..." You grumble, tired eyes looking down at him, the way his gaze softens and the corners of his mouth tilt up into a small smile, a deep laugh escaping out of his lips for a second.

"Some coffee?" You nod your head, hands going under your glasses to gently rub your eyes as you struggle to stay awake. He gets up, hand on your shoulder squeezing softly to make you look up at him.

"I'll go tell that lot Johnny made it, think you can stay awake until they're here?" His words had hints of teasing despite the concern in his eyes, only turning away once you nodded your head. You got up from the chair, walking over to the medical bed and looking at Johnny's unconscious body. His heart beat was stable, at the very least.

"I miss you, Johnny." Your hand reaches out to hold his, squeezing softly before you bring it to your lips and plant a soft kiss on his knuckles, slowly putting his hand back on his stomach. As annoying as he can be, he feels like a younger brother, someone you'd lay down your own life for with no hesitation, though that secretly goes for the rest of the team.

You take a step back when you hear footsteps approaching, pretending to fix the new IV injected to him.

"Doc." Price greets, walking over to you and looking down at Johhny. Bruised and bloody, but alive.

"Knew I made the right choice with you." His heavy hand pats your shoulder, managing to offer you a smile despite all the stress he was in, not knowing whether or not one of his boys was going to make it.

"I'm honored, Captain." He could hear the appreciation under the layer of sarcasm.

"I don't know when he's going to wake up, but there wasn't any damage on the frontal lobe or top of the brain, so probably not gonna have brain damage either... not that it'd make much of a difference." You drift off, eyebrows furrowing slightly as you think back on the twelve hours that just passed, the deep chuckle escaping the captain turning your attention back to him.

"Good. Go rest, Gaz and I will take turns watching over him." You simply nod, turning away to leave and patting his arm gently as you walk past. A small smirk sets on your lips when you feel the muscle, quickly leaving the office and going to your quarters. You barely manage to remove the bloodstained white coat before you collapse in bed, any thoughts about what happened and the coffee Simon was making for you completely forgotten as you finally drift off to sleep.

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tarotwithavi · 1 year

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You from the eyes of your future lover / future spouse.

How would your future spouse describe you? How would they see you?

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Piles : 1~2~3

For my females audience so I'll be using she/her pronounce in this post.

Masterlist

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＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 1

She's the reason for my happiness. She is perfect in every sense. She fills my heart with so much emotions that it scares me sometimes. I can't imagine ever hurting her. I love her so much that it hurts sometimes. God if there's an afterlife please keep us together forever. I beg you. She's just so perfect and spontaneous. There's nothing she can't do. She makes the impossible become possible. She's magical. Well sometimes she's energetic and joyful and other times her mind seems to be all over the place. I love it she gets annoyed haha. She's a just to cute . I love how talented she is. She is intelligent but she's stupid. She's stupid because she doesn't see her beauty and her perfection. I never thought I would feel these emotions. She makes me feels mushy. Just the thought of her bring smile to my face. She's the light of my life. Without her my life would be in darkness. I wanna paint my world the the color of her skin. I wanna tattoo her smile on my body. Her voice is the only thing I wanna hear. Her laughter is my favorite melody. I would cherish it forever. God I love her so much it's driving me crazy.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 2

Who's she? Well she's my destiny. She is my begining and she is my end. She makes me feel like a child again. She's my other better half. These gushy-mushy feelings are all because of her. She is the reason I became a better person. She is the person I have been waiting for the my whole life. There's nothing more I want than to have a family with her. Just me, her and our pets. I imagine living with her and dying with her. I even want to be next to her in the casket. I love her to death. God knows I have never cared about the future but with her , I just feel as if I need to plan everything. I'm willing to go wherever she takes me to even if it's my death. With her I never feel scared or anxious. She brings me peace. I feel as if I can finally breathe after being suffocated my whole life. She's my morning coffee . she's my late night snack. she's like a cold breeze on a hot summer day. She's my sun, she's my moon and she's my star. She's everything. I wish she could see herself from my eyes, to see just how beautiful and mesmerizing she is. I want to express how much she means to me but I don't think I have right words for it. I want to make her my queen.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 3

She's crazy but she's mine. She's childish, she's goofy, she's a like a small kitten. Sometimes I just want to pull her cheeks so hard but I know she'll bite me. Oh how much I love her but she's stupid. She's not stupid stupid but she's hilariously stupid. She makes me laugh till I have tears in my eyes. She's like my personal comedian. She's my life long best friend. I am sure we'll never get old together. We will forever be high school sweethearts. She makes me feel alive. She makes my world light up. I love it when she argues with me. I love it when she gets annoyed with my pranks. Her face is so expressive that I can't help but laugh at her expressions. Oh how she's always in her own little world, how she's zones out when she wakes up. How she's ties her hair in a messy bun. How she runs like a child around the house. How she thinks she lives in her own fantasy world. How she unknowingly pouts while eating. How her eyebrows go up when she's surprised. I love her crazy ideas. She's a mystery that i wanna solve. I want to know where she goes when she zones out. I want her to take me with her where she goes , in her world. Where it's just us and no one else.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Hope you like it! And leave a note to show support ♡ Have a great day ahead !

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

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azure-cherie · 9 months

Text

𝐏𝐀𝐂 : 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐒

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ🌔☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ🌕☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ🌖☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

• what are they ?

• how to use their full potential ?

• advice from your guides .

Pile 1-2-3-4

♡︎ masterlist , paid readings

Pile 1 :

• what are they ?

I believe you have the gift of claircognizance , your thoughts are vivid and sometimes in them lie the messages for the future, you receive downloads and ringing in your left air . A lot of you here might belong to the lemurian starseed . You also have the ability to ward off evil , like getting into the room and sensing that their is a spirit around and doing something to get rid of them . I get the image of an African priestess in my mind . Your astrology is also so on point , don't doubt yourself, you're going just right.

• how to use their full potential ?

What I get for you is observe more , you're too busy thinking and doing that you can't sit in a place and just plainly wait on life , enjoy the silence , try guided meditations, they will help you unlock what truly you are capable of . I see literally purple eyes , you must be really powerful like really. You might also have relations with the element thunder , if not just know you are potent during thunder storms .

• advice from your guides .

This is general advice . Your guides say first of all that pay your rent and clean your study or table beside you . Go out with your family. Don't contemplate on the issue that that's occurred with you and your senior or boss , it will calm down and it's not even your fault so chill for now, get some coffee and talk to an old friend or lover to feel better .

Pile 2 :

• what are they ?

Your abilities surround recurring visions in your dreams and telepathy, your dreams are very significant and vivid and i believe the higher power you believe in uses this method to communicate to you , not just about yourself but also the people around you . I believe your mom also may have the same ability and it has been passed through generations. Your telepathy is something you have developed because of separation from someone, since then i heard you have been doing it consciously or unconsciously

• how to use their full potential ?

You need to sleep with knowing and wake up by trying to remember what actually happened while you were asleep , when you try to get into this , you'll get insights on what will happen and things about your own soul , just write down what you have to remember. I think you should also do some candle manifestation to remember. Touch old books or things just to see if your abilities are working, what do you infer about the owner of the book .

• advice from your guides .

Very soon you'll be getting something big , like fame or money , you'll become famous for your craft or your face , the way you carry yourself effortlessly, you'll get modelling contracts, you have worked really hard and it will pay off , your guides are really proud of you and I'm so happy for youuuu coz finally your dream of being rich and famous will be all yours , now go baddie have some butterscotch ice cream.

Pile 3 :

• what are they ?

Your spiritual gifts relate to summoning energies and entities, fighting in the astral , and clairsentinence . I feel you also get shivers around entities . Some of you talk to walls and your home spirits hear and guide you . You also might get a bit frightened from your abilities, it's understandable no one wants to go around seeing ghosts but you know you have this gift for a reason so believe in what the universe has planned for you , stuff will unfold so beautifully for you i promise

• how to use their full potential ?

I get that you should use crystals , you also need to work on your confidence to handle greatness you need strength and you have that I assure you , you just need more to feel safe and secure . Believe in the power of touch , don't hold back your feelings okay , just because someone can't handle your emotional range doesn't mean you should decrease yours alright.

• advice from your guides .

This is general advice, Your guides are letting you know that if you have been wondering if you should make an altar for the Deity in your mind , yes they want to connect to you , I get something about peach colored flowers and cork of a bottle , i hear Dionysus as well , don't hold back you got this . Clean your room and talk to your siblings they need you right now .

Pile 4 :

• what are they ?

Your spiritual gifts surround Clair audience , you maybe an empath . Your gift in itself is to bring radical change in people's life , you are a spiritual awakening for people, showing them their path is your mastery . Reiki , healing and tarot are also something you are blessed with . Your inner light is really so radiant , that it brightens the entire room . Talking to you for a while brings realisations , that's why you really have to protect your energy !!!!

• how to use their full potential ?

Stop helping idiots with your gifts , okay i see some people are not at all grateful about what you do for them , whatever you are doing for someone ungrateful is also energy wasted, instead ask your intuition if this is worth it , go to an old age home and seek homage from the old , it will help you . Practice methods of protection and grounding.

• advice from your guides .

This is general advice. Moisturize your skin and do your projects or paper work soon , study , i feel they are telling you to finish your work now because later there's some occasion and you won't get time to focus on these things . Take a trip alone maybe somewhere near or far wherever possible . Learn cooking, it will help you in the long run

I hope this helped and resonated 🌕

Wishing you a great day / night ahead ;))

#pacreading #pac reading #pac readings #pac #pac tarot #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a card #tarot card reading #tarot deck #tarot reading #intuitive tarot reading #intuitive reading #intuitive readings #tarot community #witchy #psychic

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explosionkatsu · 1 year

Text

“Age doesn’t matter” 5

Dad!Bakugou x F!Babysitter!Teacher!Reader

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

Hearing what Kazui said made her completely stop. Mama? Why would he think that? Was it because she takes care of him like her own child?

“K-Kazuki. I don't think that's something possible.” Ms. Y/n said washing her hands before she approach the now pouting Kazui.

“Why not?” Kazui said, now tearing up. “My classmates have a mama. Why I don't have one? Why can't I have one?” he was now sobbing.

Seeing his tears pour breaks her heart. Ms. Y/n dreamt of having her own child, but because of how life can be challenging, how she can't afford to buy her own house or a decent permanent job, she set her dream aside and focus on trying to make it at least to the cruel world.

But nothing is crueler to a child not having a mother wanting to have one.

“Shh.” Ms. Y/n carried and embrace Kazui who was sobbing in her arms. “I’m sorry, Kazui.”

Then it suddenly went quiet. Ms. Y/n was still holding Kazui in her arms.

“Kazui?” Ms. Y/n called out, but get no response. When she slowly made her way to a mirror, she saw him fast asleep. She looked at him for a moment, sad that she couldn’t do anything for Kazui. It took a while for her to bring him up to her bedroom and tucked him in, caressing his cheek that was stained from his tears.

Ms. Y/n then left her bedroom. She decided to keep the door open in case she heard him wake up. She strides down the stair and went back to the kitchen where she left some of the burger steaks she molded. As soon as she washed her hands again to proceed, she saw her phone lit up causing her to look at it. When she saw the unknown number, she slightly frowns. But when she clicked on the message, she blinked in surprise.

It was Mr. Bakugou.

Once Katsuki settled in his car, he placed a bag beside him. A thank-you gift for Kazui’s teacher.

Giving anyone a gift isn't his thing, but Ms. Y/n's kind gesture made him want to. This is the least he could do to show her he appreciates what she does.

And so, Katsuki turned on the engine when he received the address he needed and drove his way to the said address. seeing he was nearing the address, he noticed it was close to the school. After just a few minutes of walking, for sure they'd reach it.

He remembered Ms. Y/n telling him there was a near convenience store and taking a right turn. As soon as he turned right, he immediately saw her apartment and slowed down. Once closed, he pulled up but didn't leave his car.

Katsuki is nervous. He didn't know how to approach her. His palms are sweating, and so was his forehead, and believe it or not? This was pissing him off. So with all the courage he has. Wait? Why does he need courage for this? He's just going to pick Kazui and hand his gift to her.

That’s fucking it.

Katsuki groan, starting to get frustrated. Without thinking, he grab the bag beside him and exited his car, slamming the door shut behind him.

Ms. Y/n heard this, making her jump and slightly spilling the hamburger steak sauce. “What was that..” She mumbled to herself and wiped her sauce-filled hand.

She made her way to her apartment door even though she knows it was a bad idea. But curiosity got in her and grab the doorknob, twisted it, and pulled the door open. She comes face-to-face with Mr. Bakugou who has his hand raised, about to knock.

“U-uh. Good evening! Mr. Bakugou!” She slightly stuttered. “Please come in!”

Seeing him in an awkward position made katsuki's face turn slightly pink, all the way to his ears. “Ahem. Thanks.” He said in a quiet voice.

Ms. Y/n closed the door behind her as soon as Katsuki get in. “I'm sorry about the mess. I have a lot of papers to work on.” She said sweating dropped when she saw him eye the papers stacked on her coffee table. “Please have a seat.” She added as she collect all the papers and headed to her bedroom.

When she came back, she made her way to the kitchen switched the fire off on her stove, and saw Katsuki sitting on the sofa. “Make yourself at home.” She smiled. “You might be looking for Kazui, he’s currently sleeping in my bedroom.”

Ms. Y/n opened one of the kitchen cabinets and grab two glasses. She then grabs a drink and pours the content into the glass.

Katsuki was quiet even though he can hear her talking . He was checking her apartment which was neat, and organized, with no dust in sight. Except for the stack he saw earlier, which was now gone.

Her apartment was indeed small, like what Kazui said. But she made it look homey. Unlike his quiet home. Even though he has all those branded furniture and expensive stuff. Never in a while, had he felt his house homey. But he, sitting in someone’s home? Knowing that Y/n is living alone, single-

Wait, was she single?

Katsuki’s thoughts about her apartment suddenly vanish. I mean, was she by herself?

Getting inquisitive, he looks for a sign of another person living with her. A male person. But all he saw was what a single woman has.

How old was she again? 23? Right. She’s too young and still unraveling her future.

Well, age doesn’t matter to him.

What? The fuck was he thinking? Why would he think that?

Katsuki internally smacks himself in the face. He’s not looking for any relationship right now. After what happened. He’s too scared to try again.

“Here. Seems like you're deep in thought.”

Katsuki blinked being cut off and saw Ms. Y/n place a cup of tea in front of him.

“Thank you.” He said.

Why was he being quiet anyway?

“You’re welcome.” Ms. Y/n smiled at him. “I actually poured you an orange juice and was about to give it to you but it seems like you're stressed. So I made you some tea. I hope you don't mind camomile?” She giggled and went back to the kitchen.

“It’s fine,” Katsuki said. “Where’s Kazui?”

Ms. Y/n blinked. Didn't she say he’s asleep? Maybe Mr. Bakugou was too deep in thought that he wasn't listening to everything you said.

“He’s sleeping in my bedroom.” You chuckled making Katsuki look at you raising an eyebrow which made you panic and immediately apologize.

“Why're you apologizing?” Katsuki asked and gently gran the tea in front of him. The aroma made him relax.

“I was being rude.” Ms. Y/n smiled nervously.

She’s always smiling.

"You're not," Katsuki said and took a sip.

Ms. Y/n only smiled before going back to her kitchen and preparing the plates needed. "Have you had your dinner, Mr. Bakugou?" You asked.

As if on cue, Katsuki's stomach started making a sound making him blush and her, giggle.

"I'll take that as a no." You said. "I made Hamburger steak. Kazui requested it."

"Hah? I swear to god that spoiled ass brat." Katsuki said, this time, out loud.

"Would you want a plate, Mr-

"Just call me Bakugou. I hate this formality and such. It's fucking pissing me off." Katsuki said as he placed the teacup back on the coffee table.

This doesn't surprise you anymore. Why? Because there are times Y/n watches television in her free time and saw how Dynamight swears a lot. Even civilians got used to this.

"Alright, Bakugou." Ms. Y/n chuckled and just prepare another plate for him. "You can go wake Kazui so we can all eat. The more the merrier right?"

"Don't order me around." Katsuki tsked but follow otherwise.

He heard a low sorry when he walked past the kitchen and straight to her bedroom where he saw the door wide open. He was about to go straight inside but he stopped midway. He's trespassing on her privacy. But she was the one who gave him permission, plus, he's only waking Kazui up, so it doesn't matter. So he continued and went straight into her bedroom and saw a double-sized bed where he saw Kazui sleeping peacefully.

"Oi." Katsuki called but got no reponse. "Brat. Wake up. We're going to eat dinner."

Seeing his son won't wake up anytime soon, he picks him up and carries him in his arms. "Kazui, wake up. Ms. Y/n made us dinner. You spoiled brat."

Kazui lightly stirred in his father's arms before completely waking up, and rubbing his eyes. "Papa," he mumbled.

Katsuki only watched his son.

"Where's mama.." Kazui yawned and snuggled back into his arms.

Katsuki was frozen in his place. Shocked, confused, angry? He doesn't know what to feel when he once again heard his son looking for his mother.

"Why are you looking for her?" Katsuki asked, hoping he would get a response despite knowing how drowsy his son is.

"Mama Y/n.."

#bnha bakugo katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x y/n #bakugo katuski

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stop-talking · 28 days

Text

So I'm stuck on this shithole Island, and I can't even have a smoke? (pt. 7)

Derek Danforth x fem reader

Word count: 3.6k

Tags: 18+, Derek x fem reader, no use of y/n, HEAVY angst, fluff, enemies, enemies to lovers, (very) slowburn, sass, banter, suggestive themes, mentions of drug use, withdrawals, rehab, masturbating!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

Derek wakes up long before you do the next morning.

Except, not really. Is it really "waking up" if he never fell asleep in the first place?

He'd insisted on going to bed early, skipping dinner. For once, you hadn't pushed him to reconsider, and he wasn't sure whether to be angry about that or not.

He has plenty of other things to be angry about, anyway.

Derek flings himself onto the couch in a huff, fumbling for the T.V remote. Maybe he could drown out his thoughts with some bullshit movie.

It doesn't really work. His mind keeps wandering back to you. How could you dismiss his feelings so easily? Sure, maybe it's too early to drop to his knees and make a declaration of love... but he's sure there's something between the two of you.

Seriously. You'd given him not one, but TWO kisses yesterday. If you don't like him, you're just being cruel.

Around midmorning, you stumble downstairs, and Derek purposefully ignores your greeting. He doesn't have any especially nice words for you at the moment.

"Have you eaten breakfast yet?" You call out, heading through a doorway and into the adjacent kitchen.

"M'not hungry." He grumbles back, determined to show his displeasure.

There's no response, so he just sighs and curls up on the couch, tucking his face into the cushions and hiding away. He can still feel a bit of lingering embarrassment from yesterday's rejection.

Well, sort-of rejection. Secretly, he was still holding onto some level of hope that you like him. Technically you never told him how YOU feel. You just brushed him off and ran away.

Coward.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

"Sit up. I'm not letting you skip two meals in a row." You gently shake Derek's shoulder and place a plate of food on the coffee table. A simple breakfast, toast and some fruit. Hardly a good offering considering he made you pancakes yesterday, but damnit, you weren't sure he was going to eat at all.

Derek rolls over and stares blankly at the meager breakfast, mumbling some kind of thanks. He doesn't make any effort to sit up and offer you room on the couch... so you make due and perch on the armrest, near his head.

"So... what do you wanna do today?" You ask, trying to remain casual after yesterday's uncomfortable conversation.

Actually, "uncomfortable" might be an understatement. Damn him. Couldn't he see that anything romantic between the two of you is ABSOLUTELY out of the question?

Even ignoring the whole son-of-your-boss thing, (which is disgustingly cliché), he's still a fucking Danforth. Son of the goddamn president. And a billionaire, to boot.

Okay, those qualities were probably attractive to some people. Or most people. But not you.

You look down at the man who is pointedly ignoring your question and poking at his food. No, his wealth and influence were not his best qualities. You much preferred his dorky charm. Hell, even his bratty side could be cute. Sometimes.

"It's toast, Derek. Not poison." You scoff and take a bite of your own food just to prove a point.

He glares at you for a moment, and you finally get a good look at him. Are those... eye bags? Suddenly, you feel guilty for not offering to let him sleep in your bed again. Maybe he really does need it.

Eventually, he grumbles something under his breath and grabs for his plate, beginning to nibble a piece of fruit.

Damn. He's so cold this morning. Usually you'd be sitting properly on the couch with him, his head in your lap, and your hand in his hair... not just precariously balanced on the stupid armrest.

Is he really that upset about last night? You'd tried to let him down as gently as possible. And there was no way he was serious about you, anyway. He's the kind of rich asshole who could snap a finger and have the perfect trophy wife delivered to his door in a heartbeat.

You have to be honest with yourself here, and the truth is that Derek Danforth would drop you as soon as you two got back home. Better to save yourself the heartbreak.

"If I have to watch T.V all day I think I'll die of boredom." Derek breaks your contemplative silence after a few minutes, whining and dramatically draping an arm over his eyes.

Ah, right. Gotta keep the brat entertained so he stays out of trouble.

"I'll see what I have for us to do." You respond calmly, hopping down from the armrest and heading upstairs.

Damnit. You need to diffuse the situation, fast. Everything feels so tense between the two of you, like he's pulling back into his shell. Normally you'd suggest going down to the beach again, but considering he nearly drowned yesterday? That's off the table.

After poking around in your closet for a few minutes, you return with an armload of various boxes. A few board games, a pack of cards, puzzles, books, and even some paper and colored pencils. Hey, with no internet, you'd have to make due.

"Any of this look interesting?" You huff, dumping it all on the coffee table.

Derek sits up and raises an eyebrow at the pile of less-than-adequate activities. "What is this, a summer camp? Do I look five?"

"Hey, you're the one that called me a glorified babysitter."

He just rolls his eyes in return, standing up and muttering something about a headache.

"Where are you going?" You ask, watching him trudge upstairs.

"To rest."

You're left alone on the living room floor, watching him disappear as a couple of the various precariously-stacked boxes tip off the coffee table and spill their contents across the rug.

This is not going well.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Derek lies back on the mound of pillows piled against his headboard, a sleepy haze clouding his mind as he tries to stay awake.

He rubs his eyes, blinking at the flat screen TV mounted to the wall opposite him. The bright flashing colors are probably the only thing keeping him awake right now.

Just as he's about to drift off, a knock at the door pulls him back into reality.

"Derek? I brought you some Tylenol."

Before he can tell you to go away, you throw the door open and waltz in. Apparently, you've forgotten what happened the first time you did that.

"Here, take this. And something to wash it down with."

He sighs and accepts the medicine swallowing the little pill and downing half the glass of water before setting it aside.

"Oh, so watching TV wasn't the issue, you just didn't want to watch it with me, huh?" You ask, taking a seat at the foot of his bed and turning your attention to the television.

He can tell you're just being playful, but the question still makes him squirm slightly. Damnit. He's torn between wanting to joke back, and wanting to chew you out for acting so normal. You made his whole world fall apart last night, and now you're going to sit on his bed and crack jokes?

"You're blocking the screen." Derek grumbles, trying to show his annoyance.

Unfortunately, you take that to mean "crawl further into my bed", and end up taking a seat next to him, with your back to the headboard.

He begrudgingly allows it, silently watching as the stupid movie he picked out plays. At least you're not touching him.

...

Fuck. Not even a minute passes before you lace your fingers into his hair, a gesture he'd usually appreciate. Now? It just serves as a reminder that you aren't his.

He finally loses it when you tug on his hair in that oh-so-familiar way that makes him whine involuntarily.

"Can you stop?"

"Stop what?" You blink down at him with a blank expression, clearly confused. God, can't you see what you're doing to him? How is he supposed to just sit back and let you touch him like this after being rejected?

"Acting like everything can just go back to normal."

"Can't it?"

"No."

You take in a sharp breath, but before you can respond Derek pushes your hand away and sits up. He isn't done with last night's conversation, and he's not letting you worm your way out of his questions this time around.

"If you don't like me, that's fine. But stop fucking pretending like you do."

That statement seems to hit you hard, because you wince at his words and harsh tone.

Derek doesn't care, continuing his rant. "Always touching me... playing with my hair, hugging me, kissing me, hell... we fucking slept together..."

"Don't say it like that, please." You visibly grimace, slinking back against the bed.

That just agitates him further.

"Yeah, well, even if we didn't fuck it was still EXTREMELY intimate."

"YOU'RE the one who begged to sleep in my bed."

"Yeah, after you KISSED me!"

"On the cheek!"

Derek is just fuming. He wants to argue back, but the truth is, he's not even sure you're wrong.

Yes, the two of you have gotten... closer, over the past week or so. But is he reading too far into things? Are you really just... this nice?

Fuck. He has no idea. Maybe he's not special. Maybe you treat everyone this way. Or everyone you're close with, at least.

He slumps down face first into his pillows, having completely lost the will to argue. Something tugs at his chest, but it's not the same pain he felt last night.

He just feels... defeated.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

You stare down at Derek, and you can't help but feel bad for the man, even if he's sort of pissing you off as well.

Yeah, you've been getting closer with him... so what? He's not some innocent bystander in all this. He literally BEGS to be touched, whether he realizes it or not.

Like right now. God, you can't just leave him like that. If he starts crying again, you'll probably cry with him.

"C'mere, love. Can I hold you?"

It's probably best to ask permission before grabbing for him, just in case he tries to use this as further evidence you're leading him on. You don't exactly give him a chance to say no, though, tugging him up towards you.

He resists slightly at first, but gives in completely when he looks up into your eyes.

You pull him tightly against your chest, his cheek pressed just above your heart. If you weren't wearing the simple cotton t-shirt, you could probably feel his stubble.

One of your hands finds its way into his hair, lacing your fingers in his soft curls. The other rubs soothing circles into his back, pulling him as close as possible.

His arms wrap around your waist in return, and he shifts to lie between your legs, melting into your embrace.

You lean back against the headboard and just hold him for a while, doing your best to comfort him. He can act angry and standoffish all he wants, but you know deep down he still craves your touch.

"This sucks."

"I'm trying my best here, Derek. I'd like to think I'm a pretty good hugger..."

"Not you. Well... not ALL you. This whole things sucks. Being stuck here, I mean."

Derek sighs and tilts his head up to look at you, his chin resting right between your breasts as he slumps lower.

"Well, you only have..." You pause briefly to do the math. "...11 days left?"

"I was only SUPPOSED to be here for two," he grumbles.

"I know... just, your mother thought-"

"My MOTHER is part of the fucking problem." His face turns sour and he squeezes you a little tighter as he rants.

"I thought- FINALLY - she was going to make time for me. Of fucking course not. She just wanted to get rid of me for three weeks."

Ah, great. So drug issues AND mommy issues. This man really has it all, huh?

"It's not exactly a good look for president to have a druggie as a son." You say the words in a lightly teasing tone, but he seems to take them as accusing.

"I didn't ASK her to be the fucking president, okay? And regardless, she never would have made it this far in her political career if it weren't for me. Before I stepped in, she was behind in 15 of 20 counties she needed to win."

You just watch helplessly as he rants, biting your lip as to not say anything that could provoke him further.

"15 of 20!" He repeats, scoffing. "I fund her entire fucking campaign... and how does she repay me? By shipping me off to some shithole island."

It's wrong, but... you can't help but wistfully smile at his little comments.

"You know, Danforth... most people don't have the luxury of an all-expenses-paid vacation on a private island while they're getting through an addiction... they just continue working their shitty dead-end jobs."

"Spare me, please. When has the 'It could be worse' sentiment ever helped anyone, EVER?" He responds sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Honestly? He has a point. Even if he's still relatively spoiled when compared to the general public... well, this is probably the toughest thing he's ever gone through in his sheltered life. And it IS your job to help him though it.

You tug at his hair a little more in an attempt to soothe him, which just makes him wine. He tries to cover it up by burying his face into you, but accidentally ends up with a faceful of titty.

He seems to immediately realize his mistake, because he mumbles a lame-ass apology and starts to pull away from you.

You pull him right back against you, probably a little too eagerly.

"I don't mind."

It's a struggle to get the words out without sounding giddy. You absolutely love having him there, so close to your heart.

Your chest swells with warmth as he looks up at you through his eyelashes, the lower half of his face sinking between your breasts.

“This is cruel.” He grumbles and looks down, burying his face in your chest.

“What? Letting you shove your face in my tits is cruel?”

“When I know you're just going to write it off as platonic behavior later, yes.”

Ouch. Okay, he had a point with that one, too. Damnit. Can he really blame you, though? Getting involved with Derek Danforth of all people… can’t he see just how MESSY that could be for you?

But looking down at him, it’s really hard to see him as your boss’s son, or the president's son, or a billionaire, or whatever-the-fuck else. He just looks… needy.

You continue to stroke his hair and rub his back simultaneously, and a few whimpers escape him as he nestles his face between your breasts.

It’s honestly shocking just how natural the whole thing feels. God, if only you were bare-chested…

"Okay, maybe this isn't a purely platonic relationship." You slump back against the headboard as you admit this, groaning internally.

This piques his interest, but you don't give him the chance to look up at you, shoving his face back down into your chest. Looking him in the eyes is just too much right now.

Hell, all of this is too much. Derek seems to share the sentiment, because he lets out a low groan. Or was that a moan?

"You're killing me." He whines, shifting his hips almost imperceptibly and slowly grinding them against the mattress.

"Oh? What's wrong, love?" You hum in response, tugging at his hair with one hand and tracing your nails across his back with the other. Like you even need to ask. It's obvious how he's feeling. Horny bastard.

He groans in response, tipping his head back to stare up at you. Fuck. Those eyes. He looks completely lovesick. Or lust-sick, maybe? He's still not-so-subtly grinding against the bed.

"You're so fucking pretty. It's not fair." You cup his face in your hands, lifting him from your chest slightly to better examine his face. His dark eyelashes flutter as he blinks up at you, a look of pure disbelief on his face.

Yeah. Pretty. You can't think of any other word to describe him in this moment. His cheeks, lightly dusted with freckles, turn pinker by the second as you lean in for a kiss. Then another kiss. And another.

He squirms in your grasp as you pepper soft kisses from one side of his face to the other, following the pattern of his freckles. His eyes flutter shut and he squeezes you tighter, eager to feel your touch.

You pull back to look at him again, still cradling his face in your hands. This is so wrong. You shouldn't be kissing him like this. You shouldn't be kissing him at all, actually. What happened to stomping out your feelings and hoping for the best? Protecting yourself from the man who would just inevitably break your heart?

"You're prettier." He mumbles, eyes half-lidded and hazy as he stares up at you with blissful admiration.

Those words penetrate straight to your core. Damnit... as much as you hate to admit it, this man is no heartbreaker.

"Oh, love..." You pull him back against your chest as you trail off, the words getting lost on their way from your heart to your lips.

He whines again as you absentmindedly tug at his curls, something that's become nearly as comforting for you as it is for him.

"Please... I'm... mnnghh..." He mumbles, the words coming out muffled as he nuzzles further into your chest.

You're not even completely sure what he's asking for, but damn, hearing him beg is addictive.

"What do you want, love?" You coo at him, voice soft and low as you hold him tightly against your chest.

He just pants in response, occasionally letting a whimper slip free as you continue to play with his hair. His breathing gets more and more shallow as he continues to shamelessly jut his hips into the mattress.

For the hundredth time, you remind yourself just how wrong this is. Those thoughts are immediately drowned out by his soft noises of pleasure, and you can't help but wonder just how much he can even feel through those sweatpants, anyways. Maybe if you took them off for him...?

No. Fuck. That's too far. Right now, you're not doing anything wrong. How could you be? You aren't even touching him. Well... not touching him there.

"Please." He repeats, crying the word out a little louder this time.

Guilt and lust battle in your stomach, and you can tell which has won when you clench around nothing. God, something about him begging is just so... ugh.

"What? You wanna cum?"

Derek lets out a high pitched whine, nodding into your chest.

"Can you wait for me?" You whisper the words, barely audible as one of your hands makes it's way down to the waistband of your shorts.

Another nod. More panting. The bed starts to shake slightly with the intensity of his grinding, and your brain goes fuzzy as thoughts of him overwhelm your senses.

Your had dips into your shorts, and you begin to play with yourself as Derek does the same. Well, something similar enough.

"Faster." The word comes out as a moan, and you aren't sure if you're talking to Derek or yourself.

He takes the order seriously, jutting his hips into the bed more rapidly.

Fuck. The noises he's making are almost pathetic, and somehow it's the hottest thing you've ever heard. Soon your own moans join his, creating a lustful symphony as you both lose yourselves in the other's touch.

All thoughts of this being inappropriate are long gone. All thoughts in general are long gone. You see, taste, smell, hear, feel, and breathe Derek Danforth.

He must feel the same way, because he starts to mumble your name over and over, his hips stuttering as he grips you tighter, like he's afraid you'll slip away.

"I'm here, love." You coo at him, planting a quick kiss on the top of his head.

"Cum for me. Can you do that for me, pretty boy? Hm?"

Apparently he can, because he gasps, and with a few more thrusts... he's reduced to a sweaty, writhing mess in your lap.

You aren't much better off, finishing immediately after him. Shit... are your legs trembling? Is that normal? Fucking Danforth.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Derek finally pries himself from your chest, staring up into your eyes and breathing heavily from the exertion.

Two days in a row... that's got to be a personal record. He shudders at the uncomfortable, yet familiar, feeling of hot cum in his sweatpants.

"S-sorry... Did you...?" He stumbles over his own words, face flushing as you stare down at him. This is so fucking embarrassing. He shouldn't let himself get so damn desperate.

"Yeah... I did." You respond, blinking at him with a dazed expression.

Derek knows that feeling. He's half convinced this is all some kind of sick hallucination induced by his severe sleep depravity.

His worries are washed away as you lean down and plant another kiss on his forehead. He wants nothing more than to stay here with you, but fuck... the mess.

"I'm gonna go clean up." He mumbles, pulling away from you and discreetly covering the wet spot on his sweats... like you don't already know what happened.

"Please, just... stay." Derek looks back at you one last time before disappearing into his bathroom, and all he can do is pray you'll still be there when he returns.

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

Author's note: Okay this took WAY too long and I have no excuse I'm sorry. I hope it was worth the wait! It's currently 3am, stayed up all night writing this because I'll be out of town then next few days. Hopefully I can get the next chapter out in a reasonable amount of time... but I do plan to write a one-off smut piece first, so... who knows. I'll try.

Also I REALLY want to write about Derek teaching the reader to play poker but I do not know how to play poker. Someone help. Can two people play poker together? Or does one have to be the dealer? How does that work? DM me or send an ask or a comment or something I need help!!!

LOVE Y'ALL thanks so much for being patient <3

#josh hutcherson #jhutch #derek danforth #josh hutcherson x reader #derek danforth x reader #the beekeeper #josh hutcherson x you #derek danforth x you #josh hutcherson smut #josh hutcherson fanfic #derek danforth smut #no use of y/n #x reader fic #x fem reader #angst fic #slowburn fic #slowburn romance

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temis-de-leon · 2 months

Text

Replaced MC AU/AU - Part 2

Characters: demon brothers, fem!MC and flirty! fem! NES (MC x NES)

How’s it gonna be , Intro – Part 0 , Part 1 , Part 3

Masterlist

CW: rejection, abandonment, women flirt hard from my experience but this is mild i think, suggestive but also mild, lession 16 mentioned, MC is not stupid and deserves to vent, no comfort in this one folks, my favouritism is showing

A/N: Jesus Christ guys. On another note, for those who couldn't be tagged: please check if you can fix the problem! I don't mind sending you a private message, but it's easier this way :)

It was a surprise for Lucifer, somehow, seeing someone like MC so content with someone like NES. When one smiled, the other frowned; sweet and spicy; beauty and brawn. The brothers had naively thought having MC share her room was bound to cause problems, but how wrong they were.

Four months into the second year of the program, the two girls had already merged their closets, creating a unique style with their combined clothing. They’d also decided to use one of the beds for storage, sleeping together in the other. The first time that happened and all of them had to face Belphie’s resentment, Lucifer had feared for NES’s safety and even considered confining his brother in the attic again. Thankfully, and surprisingly, the younger demon had opted for the pettier option: ignoring MC altogether and treating NES like a rotten piece of furniture.

He was probably hoping for MC to feel guilty enough to completely ignore NES and come crawling back to him, but, as different as they were, both humans quickly became two peas in a pod, always walking hand in hand, shoulders brushing while exchanging secrets that no one else was allowed to hear.

Overall, the whole situation had become a recurrent topic in the brothers’ groupchat and, while Lucifer wanted to remain as nonchalant as ever, it was impossible to hide his opinions on the matter.

He wasn’t happy.

None of them were.

Mammon wanted her gone.

He wanted her gone now.

Who did she think she was, stealing MC’s attention from him and acting like she didn’t know what she was doing? Sitting next to her at every meal, massaging her scalp during movie nights and waking her up at odd hours because she liked ‘those late night talks’ in the kitchen?

What type of talks were ‘those’? MC could have them with Mammon; she didn’t need NES! She had him, after all. Her first man!

“Well, I’m her first woman then” answered NES the time they argued over who was gonna sit next to MC in class.

Who did she think she was?!

“Are you okay, Mammon? You seem upset”

And there she came, the bane of his existence, already dressed up in her RAD uniform and dragging MC by the hand. Both of them looked tired and Mammon realized with primal horror that no noise had come from the kitchen that night.

“Why are you so tired?! MC!”

Her only answer was a yawn, so NES gave herself the right to talk on her behalf; but not before handing MC some food for breakfast, of course.

Although half of it was burnt, Mammon still hoped MC would like it.

“Oh, we were up for a long while, barely slept at all. Right, MC?”

She nodded, happy under the pampering, but her eyelids were half closed and she didn’t seem to notice she was eating her favorites.

Mammon stared at them in shock and distraught before sparing a glance at Lucifer, who was too occupied checking his DDD and drinking his coffee to pay attention. Had he really looked at him, though, he would’ve seen a twitch in his brother’s forehead and a stillness in his eyes; he wasn’t reading at all.

“Then maybe MC and I could take a nap after class”

They all looked at Belphie, who had started to show an unusual interest in going to RAD those last few days. He was smiling like a kid in a candy store, already gawking at the idea of spending quality time with MC, or, at least, what he considered quality time.

His expression dropped, however, when MC shared a complicit glance with NES and smiled apologetically.

“I’m sorry Belphie, but I already made plans with NES”

“We’re going to Majolish” added said girl with a sly glint in her eyes “MC saw some clothes and wanted an outside opinion”

Belphie looked downright offended, but not as much as Mammon felt. What did she mean they were going to Majolish because MC wanted an outside opinion? He was there! He was literally a model!! Hell, even Asmo would've been a better choice!

“I’ll go with you!” he announced, not asking for permission “I’m a professional, you know? You should be thankful I’m even considering wasting my time on some dumb humans!”

The youngest demon rolled his eyes, but NES’s expression briefly flickered and that was almost enough for Mammon. Beside him, at the head of the table, Lucifer sighed.

“Do what you want, but if you end up third wheeling, that’s on you”

MC laughed, neither confirming nor denying anything. NES watched over the brim of her mug, challenging them with unsaid words.

Mammon wanted her gone.

Famine woke Beel up, like always, so he went to the kitchen, like always. It’d been MC’s turn to cook that night and he was pretty sure she’d stored some leftovers in the fridge for him. It was nice, being remembered even when she was too occupied with NES to pay them attention anymore. It brought some comfort, as well as a small smile to his face.

But much to his chagrin, the kitchen light was already turned on when he arrived, and his mood soured when he saw what was happening. Beel’s heart dropped and plummeted through his guts, deepening the black hole in his stomach. MC was leaning against the counter, creating some concoction in a bowl, while NES hugged her from behind. Both of them waved at him when he made his presence known, getting no greetings in return.

“Hi, Beel! I left food in the fridge for you!”

He wanted to be happy and thank her for the trouble, but he wasn’t able to think properly, not when NES’s face was snuggled into the fluff of MC’s hoodie, hands sneaking around her waist and disappearing under the material.

What was she doing? Should he stop her? But MC looked so cozy… not uncomfortable at all. His throat closed at the same time his stomach roared loud enough to fill the silence in the kitchen.

“Beel, are you okay?”

“You seem upset”

MC looked worried, but NES’s words crammed his mind. She’d said the same thing to Mammon that morning wearing the same self-satisfied expression.

Ignoring his needs and his emptiness, Beel turned around and left them alone.

MC was seething. Her thoughts were a mere blurr and a sting in her throat left her unable to speak her mind the way she wanted to do it.

Was he serious?

Were they serious? Those self-righteous hypocrites!

“We think it’s for the best, MC” spoke Lucifer like she was a child too slow to get his point.

“She’s playing with you, honey! She’ll hurt you!”

The gall. The audacity. The… ugh!

She stared at Asmo baring her teeth, never a threat to them, but a gesture so uncharacteristic of her that it was impossible not to treat the situation seriously. The common room was silent, yet MC was sure every single one of them was able to hear the violent thumping of her heart.

“We’re doing this for you”

“FOR ME?” she screeched at Belphie.

A scream would’ve made her feel better, but she guessed the high pitch got her point across good enough, her anger reaching every corner of the room. The brothers stayed silent, eyes wide open and muscles tense, waiting for her next movement. Not even when she got up from her seat and paced they spoke.

“YOU DO THIS FOR YOU!”

“MC, lower your voice”

“NO”

Lucifer glared at her, the red in his eyes glowing dangerously. MC wanted to keep going just to spite him, begrudgingly giving up in the end. She was close to crying out of frustration and her throat hurted, so screaming would only hurt her more.

“You were the ones that insisted so much on having another human exchange student” she reminded them, stopping in front of the fireplace and basking in the warmth for some comfort, pointing to the eldest brother with clenched jaws “You said it would improve the program!”

“She’s holding you back, distracting you and using you for her own entertainment!” intervened Satan before Lucifer could speak.

“Oh, because you were so altruistic last year! Treating me with all the respect I deserved! Totally not threatening me all the time or even killing me for selfish reasons! You’d never do that to me, would you?!”

They lowered their gaze, suddenly very embarrassed, and MC felt a part of her healing. Then she saw Levi’s glassy eyes and Beel’s defeated expression. Neither Mammon nor Belphie weren’t even looking at her anymore. And she could live without Belphie’s half-hearted apologies, but not without the brothers under a pact.

“I believe this is enough, MC. Calm down and we’ll talk again in the morning”

Lucifer got up, his voice completely neutral, but his eyes pleading and desperate. He started to close the distance, but she got away, walking towards the door without breaking eye contact.

“You were so on board with this, Lucifer!”

The tears swelled in her eyes. Hot tears breaking her a little more, fuelling her anger.

“Do you really think I’m not aware of what she’s doing? We share a room, you morons! I've lived with her more than I’ve ever lived with you!”

There was silence again, four of them looking at her with visible pain and the other three leaning against each other.

Fuck it then.

“It’s all good and awesome when you’re the ones in favor, but when I’m the one having fun, suddenly NES has to go away?! Do you hear yourselves?! I’m so done with you thinking I owe you anything at all, let alone my fucking soul! Half of our pacts weren't even born out of friendship, so hear me out and hear me well! Get your heads out of your asses and for once in your life: LEAVE ME ALONE!”

MC walked away, closing the door at full force and leaving them behind in more ways than one.

How could they ever get over this?

Taglist: : @stfuchaase @k1-an @meggs-wonderland @kkeromenoo @va109 @marvelous-maniac @cruzerforce4256 @blarsh @marathedemonoverlord @junni-berry @arylleb @b-a-m-2006 @jonielunar @piercedddriver @cosmidaydreaming

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icanseethefuture333 · 10 months

Text

PAC: How you see your appearance vs how other people percieve your beauty 🤍

Please feel free to leave a tip $$$

"I see your true colors shining through. . . And that's why I love you 🌈"

Pile 1:

Shufflemancy -

Platform Shoes by Slayyyter

Splish Splash by DreamDoll ft. Cupcakke

Say Yes To Heaven by Lana Del Rey

Ace of Water, The Emperor, & Seven of Water "Illusion"

You are just tooooo cute, Pile 1 💞! Literally the embodiment of sugar, spice, and everything nice. I feel like you are a very cute and adorable person. Your appearance could be feminine and clean. I'm thinking of the pink, coquette aesthetic. I also see glossy lips, nail sets, and long eyelashes (you could wear extensions or need to go get them filled in again). You see yourself as gentle and caring. You may think you are fragile or dainty? Or resemble characters from those 2000s movies or you remind people of a novel love interest. Your style could be either soft, mcbling, or y2k, possibly a mixture of them all. You could use like childhood movies, stuffed animals, or shopping for comfort or as a coping method. There is also something unique about your appearance, perhaps you have beauty mark, freckles, a crooked tooth, round cheeks, etc. You have something that makes you stand out! Which is really cool :D! How people percieve your beauty - they think you are unreal somehow? They think you are like "Hollywood star" beauty. Even though you are not "perfect" it makes you likeable and relatable. For those who have a social media influence or popular regarding to their school, hometown, etc. Some might even wonder if you had plastic surgery done. Also for those wondering if you'd look good with plastic surgery - yes you would! I'm not seeing anything too extreme as regards to plastic surgery but for those who like the "bimbo" look they could totally rock it. Or you are able to transform yourself with makeup. People who identify as more masculine or men find you so attractive. You could be popular amongst mascfems, studs, or men who are comfortable with their masculinity. It's giving "my girl can wear whatever she wants because I know how to fight". For any men reading this 🥰 I feel like people are so in awe or you! Like you would be the prettiest man anyone has ever seen in their life. (Clarified by The Moon. Faking It by Sasha Alex Sloan). Aw you really are a sensitive person deep down, pile 1. I feel like not many get to see you when you are down or know about the late nights you stayed up crying. You may have had your heart broken before or had your heart broken by someone more than once (I'm so sorry :(!). I feel like when you have your moments of depression or feel sadness you feel really self conscious. So you could use makeup as a mask to cover to what you're feeling down. You don't have to fake a smile or portray being happy, baby. Try to practice some self care and focus on your inner beauty when you feel deep down. Spend time with a trusted friend and tell then what's been on your mind. Practicing affirmations and mirror work can also help past wounds. Take care of that precious, tenderheart of yours my little carebear 🐻!

Pile 2:

Shufflemancy -

I Am Who Am (Killin' Time) by Mac Miller ft. Niko Randa

Wake Up by Logic ft. Lucy Rose

Wife You Up by Russ

King of Fire, Adjustment, & The Sun

Pile 2, I feel that you are a natural beauty! You're not one for wearing lots of makeup or styling your hair too much. I see that you just really like to be comfortable. For how you view yourself, you could really like your facial structure :)! Your cheekbones might be defined or you have a nice jawline. On a typical day to day, your everyday style would consist of your hair pulled up into a ponytail or bun, wearing sweats, or a t shirt and jeans. You could also be a hard worker or your job requires you to have shifts early in the morning. For some of you in this pile, you could work in a café and make coffee, tea, boba, smoothies, or anything to do with drinks. People at your job love coming to you because you give great customer service. Also they see you as "girl/boy next door type". A friendly, good citizen. For how others percieve your beauty - they think your features are balanced and harmonious. Perhaps your face is quite symmetrical or your beauty feels familiar. You also have a very radiant smile or your laugh could be unexpected! You are a very bright and charming person ☀️! (Clarified by Four of Earth "Stability". Baby Girl by Chloe x Halle) I feel that you have been putting off a dream or haven't been paying attention to your inner child. pile 2. What have you done for yourself lately? You should take a break and focus on doing some fun activities to take care of your spirit. You are very generous towards others but seem to neglect your own needs sometimes! Try to go for a nice walk or be in nature, it'll do you some good! Also don't be afraid of being silly, you don't have to be so serious all the time. Perhaps doing volunteer work at a children's school or museum could let your playful side come out to play. Your inner child also wants to do some coloring or dancing. For some people in this pile, leap frog could be significant or a favorite childhood game 🐸.

Pile 3:

Shufflemancy -

Stretch You Out by Summer Walker ft. A Boogie Wit da Hoodie

Masquerade by Siouxxie Sixxsta

Test Drive by Ariana Grande

Two of Earth "Change", Nine of Water "Joy", & Nine of Earth "Gain"

This pile is very specific. I'm seeing dark hair, dark eyes, and fair to medium skintones. Your hair could be straight and black or dark brown (some of you have dyed your hair a wine red). Your eyes are almond shaped and your eyebrows are arched. If you identify as feminine, you really give off like 2014 ig baddie vibes, pile 3! Some of you could be black, Hispanic/Latin, or Southeast Asian descent. I'm reminded of those tiktoks of girls doing "chicana" makeup, so that could be how you like to do your makeup. For the fellas, you could have nice eyebrows, and a moustache that compliments your full lips. I feel very strongly that you have Scorpio, Sagittarius, or Virgo in your big 3. For how you view yourself, you don't like to stick with one look, you are always changing up your appearance 😂. I feel like when you are sticking to one thing for too long you're like "ugh I need to dye my hair" or "I need a new tattoo". You always have a different style. You like to switch it up every now and then. For how others see your beauty, they see you as very abundant! You may wear high quality jewelry (diamond earrings, gold necklace, etc.), luxury brands, and expensive shoes (some people here are sneakerheads 👟). They could admire as well that you're generous with your wealth and you could do a lot or provide for your family. (Clarified by Four of Water "Comfort". Again by P-Lo, E-40, & LaRussell). Some of you could like to party?! LMAO. In my card there is otters here and I feel that you have a group of friends that you hang out with on a daily basis. Some of you could like to go out clubbing and enjoy drinking alcohol? 😂 You usually have to be responsible in your family but with your friends you get to be the one who can be reckless instead. There's something about a car so if that doesn't resonate with you, either you or your friend take turns being designated drivers. Be careful when driving, pile 3! Have fun rolling with the homies 🚗

Pile 4:

Shufflemancy -

Unique by Miliyah

Smoke Weed Eat P*ssy by Ängie

Roof by Rico Nasty

Four of Fire "Perfection", Ace of Earth, & Four of Air of "Truce"

Pile 4, you are really confident in yourself! I'm seeing that you don't really care what other thinks about how you look and live to please yourself. Your style could be alternative, you have bangs, and your hair has layers. Perhaps you have a mullet, curtain bangs, or a feathered layers. Some of you have your hair dyed with highlights such as green, blue, blonde, etc. For your makeup, your eyeliner could have a thick wing, or you have a signature smokey eye look. You could also like to have wear faux freckles or you have actual freckles. Your lips could often be seen with black lip liner and a signature cherry red lipstick. You could have piercings, I'm seeing specifically a septum piercing, snake bites, or gauges. There could also be a tattoo on your shoulder, forearm, or back, even possibly a sleeve. There could be Aries, Taurus, or Aquarius in your big 3 as well. You could also be apart of the LGBTQ+ community. How people perceive your beauty is that you have a tough exterior but deep down you are a calm and peaceful person. Which is interesting in comparison to your appearance. Your aura is comforting and nice to be around :D! (Clarified by Six of Fire "Success". Falling for U by Peachy!, MXMTOON) This is so cute 🥺! So there is someone who secretly has a crush on you or you have some secret admirers. Possibly someone in your friend or group you interact with on a daily basis. They are super shy around you and wish they could tell you how pretty/handsome that you are ☺️. If you already know who this is and feel the same way, perhaps encourage them a bit or flirt with them so they could confess their feelings 💞 (*sniffles* I ship 🤧😍)

Pile 5:

Shufflemancy -

Use Your Heart - Interlude by SWV

Love You Down by Ready For The World

Freakend by Megan Thee Stallion

The Empress, Ace of Water, & Temperance

Okay Pile 5, I know this is tired and old but... Mommy? Yes. Mommy? Yes. I cannot 😭 Some of you could give off milf vibes and you know this. You are either mature for your age or this pile is for my ladies in their 30s and up (It's giving "Damn Ms.Parker finer than a motherf*cker, I'd knock the dust OFF that p*ssy!" 😂😂😂). This Pile is very feminine and sensual. Your body could be very curvaceous 😏 body shaped like a figure 8 fr. Your lips could be plump and kissable as well 😚. If you identify as a masculine (either pronouns, style, gender, etc). You are just a very beautiful man. You could possibly get babied by the female figures in your life lol. Perhaps you have older sisters or a lot of women in your family. You just appear as the people would say "written by a woman". You could like to wear long flowy dresses, heels, cardigans, blouses, etc. Some people here could love the 80s/90s aesthetic. I'm visualizing somebody with big fluffy curls. Also you could attract partners who are younger than you or crave someone who is maternal in their life 🥴. (Clarified by The High Priestess. So Much More by Xaiver Omär) For how people perceive your beauty, you are down to earth, and just naturally stunning. You could have a good heart as well and possibly do some sort of service for the community. You could be great with kids or love animals as well. Religion or spirituality is significant in your life. So your devotion to God or your faith in the spiritual realm is admirable. People find you wise and want to gain knowledge from your life lessons. I feel that some of you may worry people only consider you just a pretty face with a nice body but that's far from the truth. The people who do appreciate you think you are so kind and memorable to them. Also if you ever feel insecure or lonely, your spirit guides want you to know how much they love you. So if you ever need someone to comfort you in a time of need, call upon your deities, angels, etc.

Pile 6:

Shufflemancy -

Girls by Kid Cudi ft Too $hort

Single by The Neighbourhood

겨울 탓 (Winter) by SAAY ft. Woo

The Tower, Eight of Earth "Circumspection", & Ace of Air

Trigger warning

This is interesting. So Pile 6, I see that your appearance actually makes you feel stress or turmoil at times. You could be really self conscious about how you look. For some of you, you could have experienced some sort of traumatic event, or had an injury which drastically caused for you to change. For example, you could have burn scars, large bruises, etc. Some other messages coming through that your self image is warped due to experiencing some sort of abuse (either from a partner, bullying at school, etc). I am really sorry for everything you're going 🥺! I wish you healing and hope you can grow to learn to like how you look. Just know that what other people said or done to you is never your fault and just projecting their own self hatred and insecurities onto you. Now to talk about your physical traits that stand out. You have wavy light brown hair, brown to hazel eyes, and textured skin (sun spots, freckles, wrinkles, etc). For how people perceive your beauty, I see you have some supporters who find your story very motivational. People in your family know the hard work and the steps you took in order to survive and they commend you for it. This is a selective message for only of a few of you but your ancestors have been with you since the beginning of your journey. In this card there is a family of elephants, animals who are known to never forget. Your guides want you to remember the people who did you wrong but also learn to not hold grudges because it will hinder your growth. Practicing journaling, shadow work, and using prompts could help improve your self esteem and provide clarity as to why you have such negative thoughts about your appearance. Also maybe asking your loved ones what makes you beautiful could you help a boost of condience. (Clarified by Mother of Earth. Glitch by Buddy ft. Tinashe) I feel as you get older, you are going to appreciate yourself, your life, and the lessons it had for you. I'm even seeing as you age you will look even more beautiful! One day your will develop wrinkles in the corner of your eyes and see gray hairs at your roots but you will find yourself to be happy about it. Gratitude is a big thing here. The reason why it's because you have to think about not many people live a long life so the fact that you will be blessed to do that, is amazing! Also for some of you I could see that you will look into manifestation. Perhaps you will use law of attraction, subliminals, or affirmations to work on your confidence and feeling more beautiful. You will start trusting your intuition and experiencing "glitches" in the matrix. You will see life doesn't have to be so hard or always be difficult, there can be wonderful moments as well.

Pile 7:

Shufflemancy -

January 28th by J. Cole

AMERICAN GURL by Kilo Kish

EARTHA by Jamila Woods

Six of Air "Knowledge", Five of Air "Conflict, & The Hermit (reversed)

Pile 7, I feel that you are just now acknowledging how beautiful you are! Perhaps you went through a period of being a wallflower or were very shy. You are coming out of your shell and taking steps in embracing your beauty :D! Awesome! Your appearance could be very ethereal. I'm getting that you have features that stand out and you are beautiful with an eclectic style. I'm reminded of like a alien or stars in the galaxy (some of you could be interested in starseeds, sci-fi, or conspiracy theories). This message could be only for some but there was either a friend or ex partner that you had in your life that was jealous of you. They would put you down so you wouldn't feel confident in yourself (Yuck! What a hater 🙄). This caused you to feel self conscious and out of place but now you are taking back your power. You are realizing this person was just projecting their own issues onto you. If this person is still in your life, I highly advise that you cut this person off! They don't wish to see you happy or succeed. I am sure you know who this person is as well. (Clarified by The Star. Vamp by Father ft Tommy Genesis) Oh yeah this person is gonna be fucking miserable 😂. You are gonna experience a huge glow up, Pile 7! I feel like this person has been giving you the evil eye and your spirit guides are not playing that shit. They are gonna get what's coming to them for trying to dim your light and sabotage you. The energy vampire will be gone 🧛🏽‍♀️! You are going to be healing your self esteem and from the past wounds people have inflicted onto you. You get to shine bright and be the star that you are my lovely, pile 7 🌠 Congratulations!

Pile 8:

Shufflemancy -

BIBI Vengeance by BIBI

Icy by Kim Petras

Do You? By Troyboi

The Magus, The High Priestess, & Mother of Air

Pile 8, honestly you are cool as fuck 😎! You could be a model or into fashion, if not, you totally should to start pursuing something along those lines of a career because you have such a chic aura! I'm seeing that you could have sleek hair, slanted eyes, and a prominent facial structure. I'm being reminded of models like Sora Choi and Anok Yai. You could have cool toned skin and wear colors that contrast well with your undertones. You have almost like a ice queen/king presence. People could be intimidated by your presence or find you very intriguing. You could have a popular social media presence or would be eventually be big on the internet. I believe you are aware that because of your appearance it could be marketable or know your looks could attract financial wealth. For how others perceive your beauty; They consider you mysterious, smart, and strong. (Clarified by Two of Air "Equilibrium". DICTATOR by REI AMI.) I'm being reminded of Azula from The Avatar: The Last Airbender. She was raised to be a weapon by her father but was just only a teenager. She began to crack under pressure and suffered a mental breakdown in the dual with her brother Zuko and Katara. You could have a duality to yourself. On the outside, you are stoic and regal - but deep down you could be sentimental and nervous. You could be nostalgic about some things in your life and possibly worry about if you are making the right decisions. Some of you could have parents with strong expectations as well. Please don't be so hard on yourself, pile 8! It's okay to make mistakes for that is how we learn. I know it can be scary to be vulnerable but try to let others in and get to know you for the real you. You could have a avoidant attachment and often doubt others when they try to show their love for you. You don't trust many people and either stay alone or only have a few close friends that you adore. I'm seeing also that you are artistic and have a strong work ethic. For some of you, you could have anxiety, which affects your mental health. Try to pick up a hobby to help calm you down or ease those racing thoughts of yours. Being in nature, socializing with animals, or going to a art class could be helpful or significant to some of you.

Pile 9:

Shufflemancy -

Press Your Number by Taemin

Deja Vu by ATEEZ

Pretty by FAKY

Daughter of Fire, Ace of Fire, & Wheel of Fortune

Omg pile 9, you are my hotties 🥵😍!!! You know you're the shit and nobody could tell you different (period!). You really have the mindset of being the "main character" and live life to the fullest. You could have short hair, buzzcut, or part of your head is shaved while the rest of it is long (Word to Doja: "Lost a lil' weight, but I ain't never lost a tushy. Lookin' good, but now my bald head match my 🐱"). You could also have a prominent nose, plump lips, darker skin, piercings (eyebrow, nose, or lip? Possibly all 3!), and a tummy pouch (you could have a belly button piercing too). Some of you could be proud of your booty or like to twerk, don't matter the size 😂. You wear bangles, crystals, waistbeads, and gold hoops. As for your style you dress like it's summer all the time. You could wear tube tops, crop tops, denim shorts/capris, baggy jeans, flip flops, and sneakers. You could get compliments a lot and be told that your style is "fresh". For how people perceive your beauty, they think you are lucky, blessed, and a joy to be around! I'm getting a vision of someone rub their hands 👏🏽. So people want to rub off some of your luck. NSFW but some people want to feel up on you 😂. They think your skin looks radiant and soft or want to touch your curves/muscles. (Clarified by The Sun. Going Off by P-Lo) Idk why I'm hearing "Step outside hoe. Step outside!" 🤣 You are enjoying your freedom and letting loose. You could be the type of person people always see on social media traveling places or partying. If any of you still live with your parents, y'all are stressing your mfin' parents tf OUT 😭💀! You could have to sneak out or lie about where you're going with a cover up outfit just to go places. You get away with a lot though because of how much they love you 😮‍💨 I'm getting some of you could be the youngest child. Your family think you can be a knucklehead but they love your energy and you make them laugh and smile during the hard times. Also this could be a message for a select few but some of y'all need to stop getting into fights or arguments 😭! Please learn to pick and choose your battles lol. Make sure to handle your substances responsibly (Mary Jane by Rick James came on so if you guys like to smoke weed or drink alcohol, be careful of your surroundings 😅!).

#pac #pick a card #tarot #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick a card reading #witchcraft #astrology #wicca #Spotify

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bellatriestowritesometimes · 3 months

Text

To Know - Part 2

aaron hotchner x reader

you can read Part 1 here!

warnings: none i don't think? just the usual angst.

tags: @jazzimac1967 mrs-ssa-hotch

word count: 6,4k

A/N: (scott foley (jake from scandal) is who i picture henry as). i'm aware that timelines don't match up, i simply just took the characters i wanted and wrote them into this story the way i needed them to fit.

**i haven't proof read this so there may be errors which i'll get to tomorrow**

hope u enjoy xx

It was 8 am when your alarm went off, however you were already awake. You hadn’t slept at all, a mixture of guilt and confusion kept you awake. Avery was still asleep next to you so you decided not to wake him.

You made your way into the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the water get warm whilst you slipped off your pyjamas. Once all of your clothes were off you stepped back in it and let the scolding water run down your skin. You began your shower routine but your mind was elsewhere.

You still couldn’t figure out if you regretted your actions. If you regretted going up to his room with that damn phone instead of leaving it at reception. You hadn’t thought about him for a long, long time and you were adamant that seeing him at your best friend’s wedding wouldn’t make you feel any different, but you were very obviously wrong. If you had known, you would’ve told Henry to remove him from the guest list.

You were happy with Avery is what you kept telling yourself and you never once questioned that until today. Henry was the one that introduced you to one another and you were dating for over a year before he proposed and the two of you had eloped a few months later in Rome.

That was the fastest you had let anyone in, especially someone you were dating, but you thought surely things couldn’t end up worse with Avery than they did with Hotch.

You were now downstairs, fully dressed with a cup of coffee in your hand. You received a text from Henry informing you that there was a change of plans. Him and Luca were going to skip brunch but he didn’t want you to miss out on spending time with your former teammates so he left the reservation in place. Henry knew you didn’t get to see all of your friends from the BAU often anymore so he thought this would be a perfect time for a catch up. He had already paid for their flights and the hotel for the weekend and thought this would be a good way to end the trip before they all had to head back home tomorrow morning.

You heard shuffling upstairs which meant that Avery was now awake as JJ and her family were staying in the guest house which was situated towards the back of your garden. A few minutes went by and there he was in the kitchen with you.

“Good morning my love,” he spoke softly and placed a kiss on the top of your head,

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” He asked as he headed straight for the coffee machine. He was still in his pyjama bottoms and had thrown on a sweatshirt, you assumed it was because he didn’t know if you were downstairs alone or with JJ. As you watched him make his coffee, you couldn’t ignore the twinge of guilt that took over you.

“Just thought you deserved some extra rest,” you mustered up a small smile.

“Besides we don’t have to leave until just before 11,” you continued.

“Did you get home okay? I didn’t even hear you come in” Avery asked as he sat down opposite you.

“I did. Got in just after half past 3 I think, you were already asleep,” you replied and saw Avery furrow his brows slightly.

You could tell he was trying to silently work out why it had taken you close to two hours to get home when the hotel was only a 10 minute drive from where the wedding reception was, and it was only a 20 minute drive from the hotel back to your house.

“Emily threw up as soon as me and Spencer managed to get her upstairs to her room” you lied, “I stayed with her for a bit and got her settled,” you explained hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

You didn’t like lying to Avery. In fact, this was the first time you had done it, but you decided that for now you would keep what happened between you and Hotch a secret.

“That was nice of you,” he spoke and gave you a smile.

You heard someone slide the kitchen door open and turned around to see JJ making her way in with a cup of coffee in her hand.

“Good morning,” she chirped and took a seat next to you.

“Morning,” you and Avery both replied in sync.

“Looks like everyone is on the caffeine first thing today,” Avery joked as he stood up and saw the grip JJ had on her mug.

“Tell me about it – I could barely get myself out of bed let alone the boys so I’ve left Will in charge of getting them ready,” she replied.

Avery had excused himself to jump in the shower, leaving just you and JJ alone in the kitchen.

You indulged in light conversation with her about the wedding yesterday, leaving the minuscule detail of you sleeping with Hotch out. She was showing you the pictures she had taken on her phone and you did the same. She was swiping through pictures of Emily and Rossi until she got to one with Beth and Hotch. Her thumb hesitated slightly over her phone as she decided on what to do. She eventually continued swiping to the left, showing you the rest of the photos she had taken.

“Did you get a chance to speak with him last night?” She treaded lightly as she locked and laid her phone down to one side.

“Uhm no not really,” you lied once again. Although that wasn’t a complete lie because you genuinely didn’t… You were busy doing other things to him.

“Are you going to…?” she questioned sympathetically.

You let out a sigh, not out of annoyance but out of defeat. You couldn’t deny that you wanted closure, to know why he did the things he did. You weren’t stupid, you could piece most of the parts together, but you longed for the explanation to come out of his mouth and not out of your head. But that was something you were too stubborn to admit out loud. You had acted like this didn’t hurt as much as it did. You had put on a happy face for everyone and pretended that everything was okay and that you were fine, until one day it began feeling like this could eventually be okay, and that one day you were going to be fine and move past this.

And you truly felt like you had reached that point, up until now where everything you had suppressed was coming back up.

“You need closure Y/N,” JJ said as if reading your mind. “I know it’s been years since the incident and you both have moved on but do you really want to waste any more time trying to figure things out on your own when you have the chance to do it now with him?” She placed her hand over yours, giving it a squeeze of encouragement.

“Just this once swallow your pride and go get the closure you deserve,” she finished.

The drive to brunch didn’t take long, you and Avery had taken both of your cars. JJ and the boys came with you whilst Avery and Will followed behind. It was a sunny day out and you welcomed the warmth you felt as you stepped out of the car. You had been to this brunch place several times with Avery before. It was a cosy little restaurant decorated with plants and flowers, with large floor to ceiling windows looking over the seating outside in the garden, which was where Henry had booked out a large table for everyone.

You made your way through the little restaurant until you reached the doors leading out to the garden area, you noticed everyone else was already seated and immersed in light conversation between themselves. Emily was sat at the end of the table so you took the free seat on her left with Avery sitting next to you. Opposite you sat Penelope and right next to her sat Beth along with Hotch.

You greeted Beth politely as you sat down, avoiding Hotch but you could feel his eyes on you.

The atmosphere seemed easy going as you all waited for the food and you had managed to avoid any direct conversation with Hotch or Beth, until the topic of wedding locations had come around.

“I don’t think I asked you where the two of you got married?” Beth asked innocently, aiming the question towards you and Avery.

Your eyes briefly shifted to Hotch who was watching you attentively. Bringing your eyes back to Beth, you answered her question.

“Rome” you said, “We got eloped in Rome,” you gave her a smile and placed your hand on Avery’s as you turned to him, your eyes silently begging for him to take this conversation over.

“Aw that sounds so lovely!” Beth replied.

“Yeah it was quite sudden actually, we had been engaged for a few months and were on holiday and just decided to do it then and there…” Avery continued explaining, but you had zoned out completely and all you could focus on was Hotch, and the way his eyes hadn’t moved from yours since Beth’s question.

….

“I can’t believe we’re married,” you whispered in disbelief to your husband as he held you close during your first dance.

“I know. I am the luckiest man alive,” Hotch whispered back as his lips grazed gently over your ear.

He wasn’t much of a dancer and you knew he hated the attention so the two of you gently swayed to the music whilst your friends surrounded and watched in awe, probably all just as relieved that this day had finally come, knowing they didn’t have to watch you and Hotch hide your feelings for each other any longer.

“I want to go to Rome,” you declared softly, “just you and me, away from everyone and everything for a little while.”

“We can go wherever you want baby. I’ll have the flights booked for first thing tomorrow” he agreed.

The music continued to play and you moved closer to Hotch, resting the side of your head on his chest, feeling him breathe in and out which brought you some sort of tranquillity.

Everything after that happened in slow motion. Your breath was suddenly knocked out of you and your whole body felt almost on fire. You couldn’t understand what was happening, until you felt another blow to your chest. You had looked down, and what was once a white wedding dressed had now quickly turned into a deep shade of red.

You felt your legs give way and felt Hotch’s arms wrap around your waist in an attempt to catch you and gently lay you down. You remembered him taking off his blazer and using that to try and stop the bleeding that was coming from your chest. You could see his lips move and you could hear the commotion around you but couldn’t make out a thing he was saying. It wasn’t long until your vision got worse and the blurriness took over.

…..

“I’ve never been to Rome,” Beth’s voice brought you back to reality, “I’d love to visit one day.”

“You should, its beautiful,” you replied and looked at Beth bringing your attention to her instead of Hotch.

“Just going to use the ladies room,” you said quietly to Avery as you stood up and excused yourself.

You were trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to spill as you rushed to the nearest bathroom. You didn’t know if it was your mind playing tricks but you could’ve sworn you felt someone run after you. Your suspicion was quickly confirmed as you saw a hand reach in as you were shutting the bathroom door. You hesitated slightly and considered slamming the door shut anyway, but Hotch had used a bit more force and managed to get the door open just enough for him to squeeze in.

You turned away from him and gripped the sink as you threw your head down. You really didn’t want to do this, especially not now but you heard the lock click and knew he wouldn’t let you leave until you had spoken things through.

“Can we talk about what happened last night?” Was the first thing that came out of his mouth. The bathroom was already small enough as it is and it had now felt even smaller with Hotch standing behind you watching your every move. The air felt thick and your heart was beginning to race.

“Nothing happened Hotch, it was a mistake. A mistake that you need to move on from instead of locking me in a bathroom and forcing me to give you an explanation - I’m not the one who needs to explain myself!” You raised your voice slightly and turned around to finally face him.

“Have you told Avery?” He asked calmly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Have you told Beth?” You retaliated getting visibly annoyed.

“No,” he stated simply as you looked away trying to focus on a painting that was hung on the wall.

The more you looked at him the more you wanted to crumble and you hated that. It made you feel weak. You had your own way of dealing with your emotions, which frequently involved supressing everything down and acting like everything was fine. Although it wasn’t the healthiest way of coping, it helped you become stronger. But there stood the man that was going to completely break down the wall you had spent so long trying to build up in a matter of seconds.

“I wrote to you every day,” were the next words that fell out of his mouth.

“Where? In your diary?” You questioned knowing damn well you hadn’t received a single letter, email, text or call.

“I wrote you letters every single day,” he kept his tone gentle and calm as he tried moving closer to you.

“I didn’t receive a single fucking thing from you aside from the divorce papers!” You spat trying to take a step back but that was as far as you could go without falling into the sink.

“Maybe you should speak to Henry about that,” he replied dryly.

“So let me get this straight. You followed me into the bathroom, have practically trapped me in here just so you could blame my best friend for your own actions-“

“That’s not what I’m doing,” he interrupted to defend himself.

“That’s exactly what you’re doing Hotch, and the worst part is you’re telling me all of this now when Henry isn’t here to speak for himself!” You were having none of it. You couldn’t believe the audacity he had to try and spin this on Henry, who was the one that was actually there by your side when you needed him to be.

“Y/N I did what I thought was best. What everyone thought was best to keep you and Jack safe. I tried reaching out to you once Jack and I were safe to come out of witness protection, but you sent me a letter saying that you’ve moved on with your life, and that it was best for us to go our own separate ways.” He took another step closer trying to grab you but you pushed him away.

“Get away from me!” You warned as you tried to process everything that he was saying.

“Y/N please. Why would I lie to you? Do you really think that low of me?” You could hear the desperation in his voice once again, just like you heard it the first time in his hotel room.

“You don’t want to know the answer to that,” you let out a laugh. You felt dizzy, like the rug had just been pulled from beneath your feet. You could hear what he was saying but none of it was making sense, or you didn’t want it to make sense because that would mean the one person who was pretty much the only family you ever had, had spent years lying to you.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, you didn’t deserve to go through any of it. You may not think much of me now but you have to believe that I didn’t want for any of this to go the way that it did. It killed me leaving you behind, not knowing if you were going to be okay or not. I waited until you were out of surgery but I couldn’t stay any longer without putting anyone else at risk.” He was finally saying all the things you wanted to hear but instead of them bringing you comfort or relief they brought you anger and pain.

“You need to go,” you tried to keep your voice steady.

“Please just go, I need a minute,” you spoke as you turned your back to him once again, trying to focus on the sink that was in front of you.

After a few moments had passed, you eventually heard the lock click again and the sound of the door shutting told you he left. You walked back to it and locked the door once again ensuring you had the privacy that you wanted.

You let out a sob that you were trying so hard to contain when Hotch was in here with you. Your hands flew to your mouth in an attempt to stop the uncontrollable cries you were letting out. You let yourself have 3 minutes to get everything out of your system before you left the bathroom and made your way back to your seat.

You looked just as you did when you left and no one even batted an eye when you came back.

“Everything all good?” Avery leaned into you.

“Yes love, just got a text from Henry. I’ll need to stop at his once we’re done here if that’s okay? Something about a case he’s working on,” you lied to your husband once again, but it was absolutely believable. Henry was a workaholic so Avery didn’t even question why he was working on a case just a day after his wedding.

Once everyone had drank, ate and spoke as much as they could you all decided that it was time to wrap the afternoon up. The group began dispersing with some going to do some sightseeing, some going to do shopping and some had headed back to the hotel.

JJs family had decided to do some sightseeing and decided to walk from the brunch place so you didn’t have to worry about driving them anywhere, but you and Avery offered to pick them up once they were done.

Your incident with Hotch had left you feeling even more confused than before and there was only one other person you could go to for answers. Avery had some errands to run and you told him you might be a while with Henry so that pretty much cleared the rest of the afternoon for you.

You made your way to Henry’s and Luca’s apartment, you weren’t sure if they were going to be home but that didn’t matter as you had the spare key that Henry had given you.

You had banged several times on their door and were about to use your spare key until Luca opened it.

“Hey what are you doing here?” Luca asked, surprised to be seeing you.

“Where is he?” You yelled as you stormed into their home, completely ignoring Luca’s question.

“He’s in his office, is everything okay? Has something happened? What’s he done now?” He questioned whilst trying to catch up with you as made your way to Henry.

The door to the room was slightly ajar and he was sat behind his task typing away on his computer.

“Where are they?” You shouted angrily, marching into his office.

“Where’s what?” Henry replied not even lifting his eyes away from the laptop.

“The letters Henry!” You called out and slammed his laptop shut almost trapping his fingers.

“What the hell was that?!” He asked as he abruptly stood up from his seat.

“What letters? What the hell are you on about Y/N?” He continued but once he took a good look at your face his confusion was replaced with realisation.

“You know exactly what I’m on about,” you hissed, “the letters that Hotch had sent me. You know the ones you forgot to tell me about?”

You heard Luca mumble an ‘oh god’ before he turned around and left the two of you in his office.

“Fine! You’re not going to tell me where they are I’ll just fucking find them myself!” You spat and began pulling everything out of his cabinets leaving a sea of papers all over his floor.

“Okay! Alright! I will give them to you, just please stop and let me explain,” Henry finally blurted out after having enough of watching you wreck his office.

You stopped in your tracks and watched him as he moved to a cupboard near his desk which had a safe inside. You heard him enter his pin and shuffle around inside until he pulled out a shoe sized box.

He cautiously handed it over to you, and you took one of the seats opposite the desk Henry was sitting behind before you stormed in there. You opened the box slowly and began pulling the contents out. It was filled with letters; some were opened some were not but it looked like there was close to a hundred of them in there. You couldn’t stop your hands from shaking as you tried opening an envelope that was on top, and immediately recognised the handwriting as you eventually pulled the letter out.

“What is this…” you whispered “Why do you have these?” You began taking more out, skimming over the writing.

“Why do you have these?” You asked again but this time a lot louder.

“Henry why the hell do you have these?!” You asked for the third time whilst shoving them back into the box and standing up.

“I can explain everything Y/N but you need to promise me that you’ll see my side of this too,” Henry pleaded.

“Promise you? You think you’re in a position to be demanding promises?? You’ll be lucky if I ever talk to you again after this! Now you better start explaining why you have kept these from me for all these years!” You swallowed the sick that was rising up your throat.

“You have to understand that I didn’t want you to end up like Haley…” he began, “I was scared of losing you okay? I couldn’t live with myself if you had ended up dead and I did nothing to protect you. So myself, Rossi, and Hotch all agreed that it was best to put Jack and Hotch into witness protection as soon as possible once we realised that it was Peter Lewis who shot you. He was stalking both you and Jack for weeks before you got shot. You were still in surgery and it wasn’t looking good so we agreed that whatever the outcome was going to be, that I’d stay with you at all times and as soon as we would get the OK from the doctors we would have you moved to a private hospital in London.” Henry explained, but you already knew this information.

“Henry – I already know all of this. Can we skip to the part where you tell me why on earth you hid all of these letters?”

“I am getting there Y/N. Hotch only agreed to go into witness protection if he could still get updates on how you were doing which we agreed would come from me. Once you had come out of your coma and understood what had happened I had obviously told Hotch the good news. He wanted to reach out to you, but I thought it was too risky as we had gotten nowhere in locating Peter Lewis and I didn’t want to endanger you again. We then eventually agreed that I would set a PO box up where he could send you letters, which was still too risky for my liking but he wouldn’t give up. You were recovering well and it was such a relief to know that you were going to be okay...” He paused, “but then Lewis had kidnapped Tara’s brother and managed to escape once again, and that was enough of a reason for me to keep all of his letters away from you and ask Hotch to divorce you.“

Your mouth had practically fallen on the floor after you heard his last sentence.

“But that wasn’t your choice to make Henry,” you began sobbing.

“I know but I didn’t care Y/N. I was not going to have you at risk again, and this time if Peter Lewis came looking, you wouldn’t be a target anymore. Hotch had left you after you were shot and served you with divorce papers. That didn’t sound like much of a reason for Lewis or anyone else, wanting to get to Hotch to come after you again.”

There was a few minutes of complete silence before you spoke again.

“And what about me? What about how I was feeling or what I wanted?” You cried. “How could you do this to me? I am not some doll that you get to play with and control!” You felt the angriness come back in full force.

“How could you face me every single day knowing that you were lying about something this big and not have an ounce of guilt? How many times did you listen to me cry over Hotch and what a fucking mess my life had become and never once did you have the decency to tell me the truth!” You yelled.

“I was going to tell you everything once Lewis was caught but when that day came you were seeing Avery and you were starting to look and act more like yourself and I thought that it was better to not bring the past back up, so I decided to keep the letters to myself and-”

“You wrote one back to Hotch pretending it was me, telling him that it was best to go our separate ways,” you finished his sentence.

“You make me sick,” you uttered as you stood up and made your way towards the door not wanting to be in his presence any longer.

“That’s okay you can hate me all you want. I’d rather have you spend the rest of your life hating me than for you to not be here at all.” Henry replied.

“And I would do it all again if I had to!” You heard him yell as you left his office.

You made eye contact with Luca who was sitting at his kitchen island. He gave you a sympathetic smile knowing how cruel Henry could be when he wanted to.

“He’s despicable,” you sighed in defeat.

“I know. But he cares about you,” Luca replied.

Without saying anything else you left the apartment, making a run to the nearest bin and had threw up everything you ate at brunch.

You had spent what felt like hours in your car, reading through the notes and letters that Hotch had sent you. He had wrote to you almost everyday up until him and Jack came out of witness protection.

His letters were filled with apologies and things you had never gotten the chance to hear him say to you. They felt intimate, like he had taken the contents of his heart and spilled everything out on pieces of paper.

Once you had enough of torturing yourself you decided it would be best to head home. So you took the longest route back hoping the drive would help clear your head. That’s what everyone always says, that they’re going for a drive to help clear their head. Well they’re liars because you felt no different when you pulled up to your house. You felt like you needed to down at least 4 bottles of wine and that’s what you decided to do.

You noticed that Avery’s car was still gone and none of the lights inside your house were on. Part of you was relieved that he wasn’t home. He knows you well enough to know when somethings wrong no matter how well you try to hide it, and this was the last thing you wanted to explain to him.

You had grabbed the most expensive bottle of wine you had along with a glass and set up camp on your sofa, intending to completely drown your sorrows and be too drunk to explain anything to Avery once he finally gets back home.

You were well into the first bottle when you heard shuffling in the kitchen and JJ popped her head into the living room.

“Hey I didn’t know you were home, I thought you were still out, come sit!” You patted the seat next to you.

“Yeah we were, but the boys were shattered so we came back home. Will and Avery both left not too long ago for a drive and said they were going to grab some food. Is everything okay?” She asked as she sat down next to you on the sofa.

“Let me get you a glass before I explain everything, trust me you’re gonna need it.”

You retuned back to the living room with a glass for JJ and another bottle of wine and then you told her everything. From the hotel room, to the bathroom incident at brunch, to when you went to confront Henry, and lastly about the letters Henry had hid from you.

By the time you fished talking, the second bottle of wine was almost empty and her face was in complete disbelief.

“Wow,” was all she could say.

“I know.. But there’s one thing that I don’t understand,” you said taking a sip of your wine and JJ nodded her head indicating for you to continue.

“Why would Hotch agree to divorce me simply because Henry said so.. I mean I can certainly blame Henry for keeping the letters from me and feeding me all these other lies but at the end of the day it takes two to tango..”

“Henry could be very persuasive when he wanted to and Hotch would’ve agreed to anything if he felt it would help keep you safe, even if it was something that he didn’t want to do,” JJ spoke softly.

“I guess..”

“They had a fight at the hospital you know,” JJ revealed with a smirk.

“They did?” You almost gasped as this was news to you.

“Yup. Me, Morgan and Rossi were outside so we didn’t see it but Henry had stormed out with a bloody nose and a cut up lip…and then the weirdest thing happened..” she paused.

“What?” You urged her to continue.

“I don’t even know how to describe it.. But once Henry left the room Hotch had let out this noise. I can’t even compare it to a cry more of a wail or something. It was frightening.. Rossi went in to check on him but told me and Morgan to wait outside,” she shrugged her shoulders slightly and neither of you were smiling anymore.

“Believe me Y/N when I tell you that this has hurt him just as much as it has hurt you. I don’t think he wanted for any of this to happen at all..” JJ finished.

You considered her point. This whole time you had thought of Hotch as almost the villain, but you were thinking what Henry wanted you to think. You never considered how he must’ve felt, to have to watch his wife get shot on your wedding day and then not be able to stay with you through better or worse without putting you or his son in further danger.

The sound of the doorbell brought you out of your thoughts but JJ was already up on her feet and offered to get it.

You split what was left of the wine between yours and JJs glasses until she was back in the living room with a wary look on her face.

“Who is it? If it's Henry tell him to go away," you said to JJ but noticed there was someone was behind her.

“No Henry just me,” you heard Hotch speak as he moved from behind JJ and was now standing next to her.

“I’m uh going to check on the boys,” she announced as she grabbed her wine glass and disappeared from the living room.

"May I come in?" Hotch asked as he shifted his weight from one foot to another with his hands in his pockets.

"Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay from earlier." He kept his tone soft and gentle just like he did when he had followed you into the bathroom.

You couldn't believe that this was still the same day and it still hasn't ended.

"Well I'm obviously not Aaron, you were right," you sighed in defeat and watched him take a seat next to you.

"I'm sorry," he whispered for what had felt like the hundredth time.

You sat in silence for a few minutes, neither of you knowing what else to say. Without realising the both of you were now inches apart, with your eyes on the ceiling whilst Hotch watched you from the side.

"We're horrible people," you mumbled and turned to face Hotch.

"I think we're just two people who are still in love," he replied as though it was the simplest answer in the world. As though it didn't matter that both of you had cheated on your partners.

"It doesn't matter, you're with Beth and I'm married to Avery."

"I know, but if things had been different you would still be married to me," you heard him say as one of his hands gently cupped your face and his thumb traced the outline of your lips.

The gesture alone was enough to make you melt into his skin. You had missed his touch so much.

"But they're not, you have a flight to catch and I have a life here.."

"I would move here for you. I would move to wherever you wanted me to. I would wait until Jack's finished school and we could both move here, all you have to do is just say the word, it would be a fresh start for him and me."

He was talking like a crazy person. You would never make him and Jack move to another country. It wouldn't be fair on Jack having to leave all his friends and family behind and start all over at a new school, that poor boy has gone through enough. In all the years you had known Hotch he never did anything on a whim, he always thought everything out to the last minuscule detail, so to hear him say that he would up and move his and Jack's whole life made you feel like he hadn't thought this out properly.

"But I don't want you to," you lied to yourself and to Hotch. "You ever thought that all of this has happened for a reason?"

"Please don't tell me you're into signs now, you're a profiler you should know better," Hotch rolled his eyes and you could see a small smile playing on his lips.

"Don't you dare laugh at me Aaron," you gave him a playful shove on his shoulder and at that point he couldn't contain his smile or his laughter.

The sound of him laughing was intoxicating and you couldn't hide your own smile that was now sprawled across your face as you joined in. You had to laugh or else you would cry.

"I'm serious, we already had one chance and look at the way that turned out. Maybe this is for the best.." You said as the laughter died down reminding you of what the reality was.

The light from Hotch's eyes and his smile were now gone, replaced by a stoic expression.

"You should get back to Beth Aaron, we're only making this worse for ourselves," you spoke and placed one of your hands on his knee giving it a squeeze and began standing up.

"I don't want to leave you again," you heard him quietly say as he followed your lead and stood up.

You didn't reply, you just slowly walked through your hallway and stopped at your front door.

"So I guess this is a goodbye?"

"I guess it is.." As much as you didn't want it to be, your gut was telling you that this was the right thing to do.

You took one last look at him as he took one last look at you, neither of you wanting this to be the end.

"Take care of yourself Y/N."

"Wait!" You called out.

"Kiss me before you go!"

And that's exactly what he did. He took three long strides to get to you and wrapped one of his arms around your waist whist the other ran through your hair as he pulled you in. All the tension between the both of you unravelled in the kiss. You parted your mouth allowing him to slip his tongue in, feeling his hot breath against your lips. It wasn't a soft, gentle kiss it was rough and longing. You had spent many nights thinking about how he would taste, how his mouth would feel on yours, and now that it's finally happened you didn't know how you could ever survive without him.

You were both almost gasping for air as he pulled away.

"Go before I change my mind," you breathed.

"But just call me sometime," you added as he placed one last kiss on your lips before leaving.

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alicerosejensen · 6 months

Text

Together forever pt.3

Warning: Yandere!leon; kidnapping, forced cohabitation, stalkering, fem/reader, age difference, pet names.

A/N: I wrote this earlier, but I will repeat it again so that there are no complaints: I do not approve of this in real life. What is written here is simply fiction, if you have any psychological trauma associated with this or do not like such content then DO NOT READ!

Part 1

Part 2

He really didn’t want to resort to force, but you simply left him no choice...

Flashback to weeks earlier, when you weren't yet under his protection, Leon was analyzing everything about his sweet angel. Well, ultimately, carrying your once again unconscious body back to bed, of course, the last thing he wanted was for you to get injured, but you never know what stupid thoughts could come to your mind after waking up again, so putting you into bed, he pulled out the handcuffs and chained your hand to the headboard of the bed. Not very comfortable but you can sleep.

Don't get him wrong, he doesn't want to keep you on a leash like a dog at all, but Leon has noticed for a long time that you are in constant danger. Back in that dusty archive, when you reached for another folder, the laces on your worn sneakers were untied. Darling, you don't know how to tie your shoelaces at all! He immediately thought that you could have fallen and broken your neck or any other bone, you could even have died by your own negligence! It's good that Agent Kennedy was around, right?

Looking at how you sleep and your eyelids twitch in your sleep, Leon threw the blanket back over you. He knows that your sleep is restless, in fact, he almost knows about nightmares, but you didn't need to be afraid anymore. Nevertheless, Leon was well aware that a sudden change of situation and getting used to the new rules that he created to protect you would be stressful for some time. However, it was still better than wandering through dark unsafe alleys alone on the way home, drinking drinks in cheap bars with your friends who didn't even bother to call you a taxi. Leon doesn't know who to thank for the fact that you're still alive and haven't been raped by some asshole who would break your whole life. Despite the fact that the DSO pays its people well, this rather applies to agents and various informants who risk their lives, but small archivists like you do not interest them at all. Therefore, his angel could not afford a nice apartment in a decent neighborhood without bastards and drug dealers who would gladly get you hooked on some trash. The door of your apartment was indecently easy to open Leon would have done it without a lock pick without any problems, but he didn't want to scare you, however…

It is now his house completely at your disposal. The refrigerator is filled with high-quality products and not cheap instant noodles whose packages were lying in your trash. Money was really tight, wasn't it? A mug with a touch of tea or coffee that for some reason you didn't want to wash well, an unmade bed with your smell that he liked to inhale so much. The moment he plopped down on your bed, the desire to hold you in his arms just took root in him.

He wanted your scent to sink deep into him, to penetrate into every cell of his body. He just needed to possess you. That's why Leon couldn't wait, especially since you never let him become anything closer than just a colleague with whom you chatted during lunch. At some point, knowing where you live, he even came up with the idea that you were really offended, but there was nothing about it from your correspondence or medical records. Like you just liked being alone.

He was watching you to keep you safe. He walked you home ready to become a savior at any moment, it's not the first time he's saved a lady in trouble, despite the fact that you weren't actually that lady. Not according to Leon. Sometimes he came to your apartment and leafed through your books that he didn't like, but he didn't judge. He was taught to be quiet and inconspicuous, so it was extremely difficult to understand about someone else's presence. The only thing that really started to bother you is that things sometimes rearrange themselves and the old traces of coffee on your favorite mug magically disappeared. Robberies were not uncommon in this troubled area, but the only valuable things in your apartment were a laptop and a game console. Actually, it was important for Leon to know about all your preferences!

Now it was all in the past. You're safe here with him, away from all the shit that can hurt you. And in fact, you no longer need to worry about bills and how to live until the next paycheck. Leon doesn't consider himself a psycho when he lies down next to you, inhaling the scent of your body, pulling you to him, kissing your temple. After all, if you want, he will become the hero of those stupid books for you.

"I will definitely take care of you," he whispers, making you shudder in your sleep after hearing this insinuating voice that leaves no chance of salvation.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Your resistance is really annoying. You are still sitting handcuffed to the bed and there are already bloody marks on your wrist from the skin erased into blood after a steady twitching of your hand.

"I just need to dress you up," Leon says in a calm voice, while his patience still allows him to hold in his hands cute clothes for his angel.

Skirt, tights, and a warm sweater. Of course it's warm at home, but he wants to be sure that you have everything you need. That's just you kicking, yelling at him and crying incessantly ignoring the pain in your wrist.

"Baby, don't make me use force. Enough of this moaning!"

"Let me go!" you shout on the verge of pulling the hated handcuffs even without looking at him. Over the past two days, hysteria has been covering you with your head constantly not allowing you to think clearly.

Leon sighs. In any case, he doesn't want to stuff you with drugs anymore, and then what he was trained as an agent comes into play. He needs to break the will of the enemy or rather his beloved. He didn't want to take emergency measures, but you just forced him. He comes up to you squatting down and takes your face by the chin, forcing you to look into his cold eyes. The prepared clothes fly to a chair that is too far from the bed to reach it, but it doesn't matter anymore.

"To be honest, I didn't think that you would calmly react to the move," you were outraged when you heard his words

"Moving in with you?!" you cry out. Tears are spurting from eyes. "Since when is kidnapping suddenly called moving?! I'm not a stray animal for you to just pick me up and stab me in the neck with various rubbish!"

"I could have been slower, but you just left me no choice. Seriously, I could no longer watch you live in that anthill and spend 10 hours in a dusty room earning yourself asthma. Although considering your problems with shoelaces, I would bet that you would have killed yourself earlier by falling off a stepladder or would have been crushed by one of those huge boxes with folders."

“what?.." a guess flashes through your head.

Of course, he could probably somehow get a dossier on you and find out the address of your residence, but… rearranged things, a mug… Did he break into your apartment? You've heard that Leon was one of the best. Patrick even once mentioned that the president himself constantly praised Leon and his services to the country could not be called insignificant. There are many successfully completed missions behind him, but you have never really cared about it. At least until you yourself become one of these successful missions.

"Your poor stomach won't thank you for stuffing it with these disgusting noodles and chocolate. You need to eat right, honey," his words make you angry "You need a proper daily routine, good sleep, fresh air and balanced nutrition. I can provide you with all this, but you only need to be my good girl."

Leon's hands grab you by the face and his forehead presses against yours when he closes his eyes, stroking your cheeks wet with tears with his thumb, then briefly and gently kissing your lips, which is why you try to turn away from him.

"Heal your head!" another shout and insult. "As an agent, you're probably supposed to have some fancy psychiatrist or psychologist!"

"It's true," he easily agrees, biting his lip and getting back on his feet. It still didn't work out in a good way to solve the issue "One way or another, you will obey me. I just wanted us to come to this without unnecessary conflict and tantrums, but if you like it more, then fine. Sit alone for a couple of days without food and water. And I'll come back later and you'll tell me about your decision."

"Wait!" You called out to him almost at the door when he had already turned the handle. Leon turned in anticipation of your words and probably there was still a glimmer of hope in him that you would accept his love right now without radical decisions. "You can't keep me here! My family and at work will be looking for me. No one will believe that I just disappeared!"

Leon only grinned briefly.

"Oh, sweetheart. People disappear every day and believe me, many don't care about them, and as for your family, they could take better care of you, but if they didn't, then this care falls on my shoulders"

The hope that it was just a way of intimidation for further submission glowed deep in your chest. No matter how much the soul did not want it, the brain still suggested that Leon was never the one for whom he could be mistaken. The sound of his footsteps quickly subsided and occasionally you could catch some rustling and knocking on the ground floor. Didn't want to know what Kennedy was doing there, but fear kept throwing up ideas about some sadistic torture room and the fact that he wanted you to forcibly become his girlfriend made you suspect of possible sexual abuse after which it would be impossible to become the same.

And yet the wounded deer jumps higher, fights more desperately. You tried to somehow take off your handcuffs, and to be honest with yourself, your hand was really hurting mercilessly that you wanted to howl. It will be quite difficult without an analgesic. The search for some kind of paper clip, an accidentally lying nail under the bed or something with which you could unlock the lock was not successful. However, you didn't have the hacking skill either, and the handcuffs definitely weren't from some sex shop. Steel bites into the skin until it bleeds, and it would be worth listening to Leon though in this: no need to make sudden movements. Moreover, there are already enough bloodstains on the bed linen, but you were so absorbed in despair that the brain simply ignored part of the pain, but very soon it will be very hard.

Add to that the fact that Leon decided to starve you.

At first, everything was even tolerable. The stomach began to cramp from hunger only in the evening add to this the fact that you are being kept locked up handcuffed to the bed makes your body exhausted. You cried for several hours, but Leon's mercy did not descend to you. It really wasn't a prank and he kidnapped you for his own purposes, which you didn't want to know anything about.

"Leon?.." is quieter than you wanted, you called him again.

It all seemed like a nightmare. Time dragged on so slowly that it was unbearable and scary from the unknown. You were hoping that Leon had made a mistake somewhere and the police would find you very soon, the main thing at this moment is to stay alive and not dead because you definitely won't be able to win by force against a government agent who has undergone professional training and completed many successful missions. When your nerves calmed down a little, you started thinking about how to deceive him. It may not be possible to escape, but send an SMS or make a call to the rescue service. You've heard these stories when a girl called under some pretext and was rescued, but will Leon trust you with the phone?

Later you heard footsteps. Probably Leon was listening to the sounds that you could make, but you were silent, looking at the door with the eyes of a frightened doe. However, nothing happened.

He's probably gone.

The throat was dry. You tightly squeezed your eyes shut trying to calm your breathing and come up with a plan of action. If hunger helped at first, then as time went on, the thought of food and water constantly stirred your thoughts.

there was one maddening silence around. Your wrist began to itch and throb painfully, the blood clotted, but at the slightest movement it began to bleed. It got dark outside again and it started to get cold. You carefully crawled under the blanket, covering your frozen feet with it, trying not to think about the desired water, especially since you had of blood loss. How long can you live without water? 3 days? 4 maybe 5 days?

"Please?" you whispered softly, starting to cry again and giving in to panic. "Leon?"

You needed painkillers. It was a bad idea to actively pull with your hand, but people often do what is not necessary when they panic and you had enough reasons to worry, but in the end there was no point in protesting. Not when you are on someone else's territory under the power of a physically strong person. And yet, most of you wanted to scream and scream, beat him and fight, and not invent plans to escape and naively rely on his mercy, which probably does not exist.

"Leon!" you called again louder in a plaintive voice, licking your dry lips. "Please… at least give me some water."

Drugs and stress perfectly lead to dehydration. Especially the first one considering that you were sick earlier. But Leon was still deaf to the pleas, it was generally quiet downstairs. Maybe he was already asleep?

By nightfall, the condition only worsened. You wrist was swollen and even the slightest movement caused hellish pain, throat was dry and your stomach hurt wildly that it began to seem that he began to digest himself. Maybe agents can safely endure such trials with dignity, but again, you have never been interested in this. You didn't even have the strength to cry.

Actually, it didn't take him two days because his heart was just bursting with pity for you.

Leon looked at you with such a puppy-dog look when you were sitting on the bed with your head bowed and trembling. Well, one day would be enough for his princess, and he sincerely hoped that this punishment would be more than enough.

Click.

You shuddered from another flash of pain and when you opened your eyes, you shuddered with fright when you came face to face with him again.

However, the handcuffs were removed.

"poor girl, I really didn't want anything," he threw the handcuffs on the bedside table, "But sometimes we have to do things that we don't like, right? if you hadn't screamed, things wouldn't be so bad right now and your arm wouldn't be swollen."

He stretched out his arms to lift you up, but noticed another resistance when your tired body moved away from him, which made Leon look at you with a threatening look again.

"Do you want to sit like this for another day?"

You nodded your head negatively and out of fear allowed him to lift you up to lower you to the first floor.

"Give me some water, please…" by God, this was the only thought in head

"Be patient angel" Leon's lips touched your temple when he put you on the sofa.

The glass of water handed to you turned out to be so desirable that it seemed you were a traveler lost in the desert who found an oasis. And yet Leon didn't limit you to one glass, allowing you to drink as much as you need, BUT in small sips. Given the thirst, you ignored his words and eventually choked, starting to cough while covering your face with your hand. Of course he didn't like it.

"Sure it's my fault, but you have to listen to me!" An irritated male voice made you shrink and look at him with those cute eyes that Leon loves and hates so much because you are afraid of him.

He put the first aid kit next to the table and took your wrist carefully, first examining the deep abrasion. You screamed loudly when Leon treated her with a disinfectant solution and then wrapped her in a bandage. having previously smeared some ointment, but it did not hurt less from this. And then he kissed you on the forehead like a brave child for whom it was a feat to endure such a thing.

"What do you want from me anyway?" you asked, afraid of the answer anyway, because your presence here did not bode well. "I didn't do anything wrong to you"

"I didn't say you did anything to me. I just want to take care and keep the one I love safe. In this case, it's you."

"Me?"

"Exactly," he smiled, sitting closer, "I wanted everything to be like everyone else, but you didn't give me a chance. Good for Patrick, too. And yet, to see how you walk everywhere where there is a potential danger… I just couldn't, Princess. I just couldn't take it anymore. But now I promise that I will take care of you and I know you better than you know yourself! Just leave all the tantrums of the fight. No more bumps or bites. I'm serious!"

Yes, there was a good mark of your teeth on his hand.

Although you didn't smile and were actually horrified by the human diversity, one thing was clear for sure even through fear - he wasn't going to kill you or…rape. The latter is not accurate, but the soul hoped for it.

"Just let's do it in order." You reluctantly nodded knowing that you have no choice "First we will put you in order, I will make you a bath and you wash, then you will eat and we will have a good rest and in the morning I will tell you about the rules with a fresh head. I will give you everything you want: books, clothes, cosmetics, whatever you want, but in return, no resistance, okay?!" Leon's hand stroked your tangled hair and at the same time pulled you closer to him against your will, but even despite a little resistance, he pressed you to his chest. "I won't be in a hurry. We will go slowly, there is no need to be afraid for me, the main thing is your safety, and there will be time for the rest"

And hear the joyful beating of his heart, you hoped only that you would have enough time to find help or escape, but for now… you may have to be not an obedient but a cunning girl, otherwise the consequences can be fatal.

For now, you need to wait for the moment and find its weaknesses.

386 notes · View notes

oliviajdjarin · 1 year

Text

Joel Miller: Lies in the Dark

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (afab; she/her)

Summary: Joel realizes two things 1). He's an absolute dick 2). You love him anyway.

Excerpt: "Y/N," he whispered, with enough southern drawl to make you realize how much you had missed that baritone. It warmed you, slithering up your spine so fast it made you dizzy. "How...how do I fix this?"

You looked up at him, at his dark eyes and tanned skin, and said, "return the favor."

It wasn't even five seconds before he had you over his shoulder, down to your living room, and tossed onto the couch. You bounced as you landed, smiling like a kid in a candy store.

Warnings: SMUTTT, oral fem!receiving, Joel eats, reader gets a bit insecure for a second, angst, fear of relationships, kissing, the l word, pretty much just fluffy smut.

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: This is technically a part two to Talking Body, but if you would like to read this on its own, you absolutely can do so. Thank you for all the love and requests for a part two. It means a lot to me.

A/N 2: I was also inspired by this song by tove lo for this part, and talking body also by tove lo for the first part of this duology as well :)

p.s. I know absolutely nothing about guns, so if you don't actually have to cock (?) a shot gun, just ignore that detail haha.

Pedro Masterlist

If you would like to leave a like, comment, ask, or reblog, it would be much appreciated <3

Joel knew he should not have grinned when the bodies hit the iced-over hill, nor should he have widened that grin when the all-too-familiar sound of the crunch of an infected's skull under his boot echoed across the canyon.

But he needed this. He needed to ruin something, mutilate it, end it.

And yet, even with a dozen bodies in his wake as he road back home, he still could not get the look on your face out of his head, out of his dreams.

Thinking causing more damage would gut you out of him, he brought his horse back to the Jackson stables, gave her an apple and a back rub, and immediately headed home to his axe. He set up his wood accurately, and with one swing, he brought the axe down, cleaving the stump in two.

I've got you, just relax.

Not enough. He brought down his axe over another.

I want to touch you, Joel. More of you.

And another.

All of you.

And another.

I don't want anything from you.

He stripped off his jacket, and chopped another.

I know what you are, Joel. I know who you are.

His shirt went next, leaving him bare, not caring about the single-digit temperature. He chopped another, grunting as he did.

That's why I'm on my knees.

He practically shouted as he chopped another, his knees wobbling, his swing slightly off.

Hi handsome.

He missed his target with another shout, and let the axe slip out of his hands, thoroughly chucking it across the yard. He breathed heavily, his breaths coming out in grunts. He shut his eyes, unable to look down at his hands without feeling the skin on your face, or the softness of your hair between his fingers.

"Keep the whiskey," he whispered to himself, his voice dripping in anger. "Keep the fuckin' whiskey."

That's what he had said to you. The woman who had wiped his tears and stared his mistakes straight on, never once faulting. That's what he had said to you after you let him come down your throat, giving him what had to have been one of the best nights in his life.

"Keep the whiskey," he whispered again, and let his knees finally give out, kneeling in the snow in only his jeans.

What had he done?

~*~

Every night for a week, you waited for him as you always had, and every night, you had gotten your heart punctured by his knife.

He wasn't coming back, you knew it as you watched him leave your house with the taste of him still on your tongue, but you still waited. Beer on your coffee table, blankets on your couch, hope in your heart.

Nothing.

You sighed and took a sip of your beer, internally beating yourself to a pulp. You didn't use to be like this, a proponent of second chances, a forgiving soul. You would clutch onto the ways people hurt you and seer them into your scull, never forgetting the exact ways they made you sting.

But with Joel, things had been different, because he was the exact same way. A distrustful, angry, haunted man, who just wanted someone to talk to without the risk of them holding anything over his head. Without needing anything from him. And that's exactly what you needed too. You thought you just needed each other, not anything from each other, and that's why you were still waiting for him.

You thought he needed you, even if he didn't want you, and some fucked up piece of an unaddressed wound inside of you thought that was enough.

You thought he needed you.

You stood from your seat as you checked your watch, realizing how late it had gotten, and finished off your drink. You stretched as you stood, promising yourself that this was the last night of this pathetic moping. It had been seven days since you had heard even a scuff of his boots, and even if he did need you, he obviously didn't need you as much as you thought.

You deserve better than this, you told yourself, even if you didn't believe it.

You wiped your now watering eyes as you walked to your kitchen to throw out the empty bottle, your mind roaring with insults and abuses towards your very core, and let the bottle fall on top of the dozen others.

You thought he needed you.

You headed back to your living room to fold up your blankets, unable to touch the beer you had left for him, when a crunch of snow came through your window.

You barely noticed it, until another matched it, and another, and another. They were rushed, frantic, like the body attached to them was sprinting.

Your own body froze. If an infected had made it this far into Jackson, you were fucked. Everyone was fucked.

Your body went on autopilot, ignoring the tears now dripping down the center of your throat. You grabbed the shotgun by your front door and cocked it, preparing yourself.

If there was one now, more would be on the way.

The steps slowed down as they reached your door, and pants loud enough to breech through the wood hit your ears. Your stance stayed strong.

Until the two-one-one knock echoed, your throat lodged, and your hands began to shake.

"It's open," you said, cursing your crackling voice, but still aiming your gun.

If this was who you thought it was, maybe opening fire would hurt less.

The hinges of the doorframe squeaked; the wood creaked as the door slowly opened, and those same brown eyes you had been falling asleep to met your own.

Another tear dripped down your cheek, and as his eyes widened at the weapon in your hand, his hands went above his head.

But your gazes remained locked.

After a few beats of him catching his breath, you lowered your gun, letting your arms fall slack in defeat. His hands remained above his head as you let it fall to the floor.

His knife had officially ripped you open.

"Y/N," he finally whispered, his hands still above his head, your eyes still leaking.

"What?" you responded harshly.

He swallowed, lowered his arms, and sucked in a shaky breath before saying, "I'm such a dick."

A few beats of silence passed before you fully processed what he had said; the tone in which he said it, the glowing emotions in his eyes, his hands previously up in surrender, his panting breaths from his sprint over to you, and the disheveled look of him.

You couldn’t help it. You laughed.

Joel Miller was fucking scared.

"Yeah, Joel," you said as you laughed, more tears leaking from your eyes, "you are a dick."

He smiled, almost in disbelief, but still managed to smile big enough to show his teeth.

Maybe you were weak, maybe you were stupid, maybe you deserved for him to leave you again, because he hurt you. He hurt you for seven days straight, practically gutted you from the inside out and left your organs on a clothesline to dry...

... but you forgave him anyway. Right in that moment. Because he knew he was wrong, and he ran to you in the middle of the night to show that to you.

And above all, you forgave him because you were scared too.

You could tell he was catching on to your train of thought as he stepped in the door and shut it, locking it behind him. You swallowed as he turned to you, smelling a mix of frost and smoke emulating off of him, and he took one step closer to you.

"Y/N," he whispered, with enough southern drawl to make you realize how much you had missed that baritone. It warmed you, slithering up your spine so fast it made you dizzy. "How...how do I fix this?"

You looked up at him, at his dark eyes and tanned skin, and said, "return the favor."

It wasn't even five seconds before he had you over his shoulder, down to your living room, and tossed onto the couch. You bounced as you landed, smiling like a kid in a candy store.

He quickly laid down on his back, filing up the remainder of the couch, and sighed contently. He made himself comfortable before laying his head down flat on the cushions and patting his shoulders.

"Take a seat," he said cockily, and your mouth fell open.

"You're -" you began, suddenly unable to speak, "you're serious?"

"So fuckin' serious," he replied, "you don't think I just had dreams of you pleasin' me, do ya darlin'?"

Maybe you were the one dreaming.

Before you had the chance to wake up, you quickly stood and started unzipping your jeans, dispensing them to the floor. Your socks and underwear quickly followed. Joel admired you as you did so, resting his hands behind his head.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"It ain't even funny."

You pulled off your left sock, leaving you completely bare from the waist down, and walked to him. You threw your right leg over his waist and sat on his crotch, making him grown.

"No shoes on the furniture," you said, pushing his feet of the grey cushions, "watch your boots, Miller."

"You're right," he said breathlessly, obviously trying to hide how affected he was by the feeling of your warmth on his buldge, "now come 'ere."

You took in a shaky breath as you crawled up his body, the realization of what was about to happen slowly beginning to hit you. You made it halfway up when he halted you, holding your face in his hands.

"We can stop," he said, "now, ten minutes from now, never. You're in control, just let me know."

You nodded, his irises revealing only honestly, and you swallowed. "I'm ready."

He grinned and sat back, ready for you too.

You finished your climb and held onto both the armrest and the back of the couch, hovering over his mouth. His hot breaths on your pulsing core nearly made you whine and your thighs shake, but you remained firm.

"Joel, are you sure you want to -"

He didn't hesitate to pull you down, put your entire body weight on his mouth, and kiss and lick you like it was his final night alive.

It may as well have been yours with how quickly you began to unravel.

He kept his hands on your thighs as he gorged, keeping you so close to him you had no choice but to feel every taste bud on his tongue, puff of breath, and follicle of his scruff scrape upon you in the perfect mix of pleasure and pain.

It was nirvana, Zion, Elysium, whatever fucking afterlife you wanted to believe in, all of it was between your thighs.

He started slow, kissing and licking, but soon found your hole, and kissed you there, then nudged your clit, and kissed you there, then around your thighs, squeezing your ass, and over and over and over again he would repeat the process.

You couldn't help the mewling noises coming from your mouth, and the sweat dripping down your back.

You were on fire.

Through the roaring in your head, you could make out that Joel eventually started saying words, maybe even sentences. You could only make out fragments.

"I'm - sorry - scared - you - fuck - taste - heaven - dreamed - scared - so scared -"

"I know Joel," you groaned, beginning to rock forward into his tongue, riding it. "I know you were, it's - shit - it's okay."

"No," he replied, and you tugged him back into your core by his hair, still rubbing down, caring his tongue into you. "Gonna - never gonna leave - leave again."

You smiled, sweat plastered across your upper lip, hair frizzing, eyes blown wide, "okay."

And he somehow ate you out harder.

It was becoming too much - his tongue around your hole, his nose against your clit, his fucking fingers squeezing down on your thighs, the noises of it all. You finally gathered enough strength to tilt your head down, only to be met with the sight that undid you.

Joel's face plastered with you - only you - and his eyes firmly locked on your face, while his tongue and mouth swirled around the most intimate part of you.

And it was with that last look that you couldn't help it - you came, hard, gripping onto his hair so tight it had to have hurt him.

But he took it anyway, and never slowed down.

You may have come again. You didn't know. All you knew was that he was relentless, a man starved, and through your whines and cries, you finally mustered up the words, "That's good. I'm done."

He could have gone longer, much longer, and maybe one night he would, but not tonight. He simply licked you clean and kissed your core goodbye, it was so sensitive you flinched and groaned one last time, and lifted you back down to sit on his waist.

You expected him to pull away, sit you on the couch, maybe offer to get you a drink, but he didn't.

His mouth wasn't done yet.

He set you down comfortably before attaching his still soaked mouth and facial hair to your pulse point, and your eyes shut immediately, tears of pleasure finally making their escape.

"Joel," you whined, "that - feels really good."

He hummed and sucked harder, likely leaving a hickey or two, but you only pulled him closer. He smelled of sweat and cinnamon, his warmth and his weight wrapped around you immersing you in nothing but comfort.

His mouth on your neck was bliss, but the feeling of him surrounding you was euphoria. He had comforted you with his words plenty of times, but having it from his body was almost impossible to bare. Something that had been uncontrollable and unpredictable in you finally settled, and you let it.

You wondered if it was your love for him.

After making his way to the other side of your neck, Joel began to move his fingers underneath your shirt. Not enough to meet anymore skin than just underneath your belly button, but enough to give you chills.

You knew what he wanted.

"Go ahead," you whispered, pulling his head away from your collarbone, "but only if I see you too."

With one look at him you could see that his mouth was red and swollen, his hair was frizzed, and his eyes were even darker than the last time you had seen him this way. You weren't even sure he understood what you said he looked so drunk off your body, but he nodded eventually. You ran your thumb across his cheek.

It's just me, the motion said, don't be afraid.

You didn't think it worked, but he removed his shirt anyway, and you removed your own.

You were met with a body of scars and moles, scabs and skin, and countless stories. You recalled them all from previous nights of talking- the scar across his chest from the first infected he killed, a scab forming on the right side of his torso from last week's new horse that bucked him off, and a bruise on his forearm. It was a dark shade of purple, meaning it was new.

You traced it, "what's this from?"

His eyes stayed glued to your torso. "I gotta - gotta bit carried away splittin' wood earlier."

You looked into his eyes and giggled, "Is that the yell I heard?"

He scoffed, still scanning your body with his eyes, "Probably."

You continued to laugh and brought your finger up his forearm to his bicep, rubbing your fingers over the pronounced muscle, and continued over his collarbone. You then brought your hand over the expanse of his chest, enjoying how your hand spread as wide as it could go was still no match for the expanse of it, before tracing down his stomach, finally able to feel the soft happy trail you had been drooling over in your sleep. His abdomen tightened as you felt all the way down, and all the way back up.

Your eyes were so soaked with him that you hadn't even noticed his hands beginning to run down your own body, suddenly making you sweat. His fingers went up your back and over your shoulders, his calloused palms against your soft skin sending shivers down your spine, before delicately running them over your breasts, treating them like they were prone to pop.

"You can touch me," you said sweetly, and he felt you up faster, thoroughly, and completely. He had to have touched every inch of you, and you let him.

After a few moments of memorizing his skin and internally recalling the stories each speck of it told, you looked back up at him, only to find a different look on his face. One of longing, yet present.

Like he wanted more from you, right now.

He brought his right hand behind your neck and his left up to your cheek to frame your face. Your eyes shut and your vocal cords hummed at the feeling of his hands, having done so much damage, sliding over the skin of your neck and face like that of a priceless jewel.

Your eyes fluttered back open to find his mouth inching closer to yours, enough for his breath to fan over your lips. His eyebrows were raised in question, waiting for you to pull away or stop him, but you only smiled, and pulled him the rest of the way into the kiss.

You remembered how you felt when he begged you with his eyes for this seven days ago, and now, with his lips meeting your own, you wondered why you ever had a shred of doubt in the first place, because if you thought Joel could give head well, it was nothing compared to the way he kissed.

He moved you with his mouth, painting and sketching upon you with his tongue like an artist with their brush. He didn't start slow, he moved with a fever, tilting your head back slightly to gain as much access as he could, maintaining his grip on your face the entire time. It was indescribable how much you were saying to each other through glides over tongues and bites on lips. The darkness surrounding you held no more lies, no more fear. Only this, only you.

You nipped at his lip a little harder after one particularly good stroke of his tongue inside your mouth, causing him to pull away from you and smile before bringing you back in for more, and you knew that image of him so rawfully joyful would never leave you.

You kissed and felt each other for some time, so long the street lights of Jackson had long since gone out, and with one last firm kiss to your lips, Joel pulled away, a trail of split connecting the two of you. It was symbolic, you thought, of how little your bodies wanted to separate. It was like your lips were holding on, not wanting it to end either.

You both smiled at the feeling.

He set his forehead against yours with a satisfied sigh and ran his palms up and down your back, causing you to hum once more. He pressed kisses around your lips and cheeks, ending on your hairline.

You'd have to ask him about his symptoms of oral fixation later.

He pressed his forehead against your own once more and breathed deeply, basking in the silence. You basked in it as well, closing your eyes. You were tempted to let yourself fall into slumber in his arms when his gruff voice suddenly filled the air.

"Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"I think I love you."

Your eyes immediately opened, connecting with his, and you noticed the tears beginning to dribble down into his beard. Your eyes instantly filled at the sight of his own filled ones, and you wiped them away with your thumb, feeling no fear as you replied.

"I think I love you too."

Maybe you did need each other after all.

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